#because it means tha world to him . its a huge part of his life . and also he mostly only gives advice when people come to him anyway

[c-kiddo]

(been relistening to cr2 some more) love so much when caduceus has his vry religious very ritualistic moments. its nice. love the slow methodical ritual of it all . love him talking to others like yasha or fjord about it and the extremely slow and careful wording of exactly what he wants to say . love him gently laying a body to rest or growing tea for it . its just niceys

[letsperaltiago]

somewhere only we know

This is my entry for the B99 Summer 2021 Fic Exchange and it's for lovely Johanna aka. @amyscascadingtabs <3 I picked the prompt: "Jake and Amy going on a babymoon and enjoying some time together before everything changes for good."

It's very simple and just pure good, happy parents to be-vibes so yeah :) I initially wanted to add smut but didn't have the time to write it :(( If you feel like it's something you'd like, then feel free to lemme know! I can always add a chapter two heh. Anyways, enjoy!!

Rating: G

Words: 2.7k

Read here or on Ao3

“Jake, this is… amazing.”

This seems to be all Amy can come up with as the hotel room presents itself before her. Better or bigger words seem to be lacking from her otherwise excellent vocabulary but she blames it on the fact that she’s been carrying a tiny human for the past 35 weeks - not that she’s complaining. It’s been hard, both physically and mentally, and there are a few more weeks to go but by the end of it all, she’ll be holding her little baby boy. 

She’s tired and every inch of her body swollen and/or sore, but more importantly she’s eager and excited. Jake is too, if not even more than her, and this has resulted in the current scene: their babymoon. 

“You like it?” 

The way Jake asks her, eyes shining with innocent expectation and voice laced with childish excitement has her imagining just how their little boy will turn out to be. She can’t hold back her smile. This man will walk to the end of the earth to make her happy, essentially already has during this pregnancy, and the babymoon is just as much for him as it is for her. 

She turns on her heels to face him, showing him the bright smile that’s plastered on her makeup-free face which has gained some freckles during her pregnancy. 

“You could’ve planned a trip to a dumpster and I would still love it.”

Hands cupping his scruffy cheeks she pulls him in for a short but tender kiss that even so many years later, after thousands of kisses, has his toes curl in excitement. She truly would’ve stayed anywhere as long as Jake was with her. Although she does appreciate the fact that she’s standing in a beautiful lakeview suite at the LakeHouse Inn. 

“Should we reassess how much we refer to dumpsters and other gross locations when we declare our love for each other?” 

She chuckles at his comment, lips resonating against the corner of his grin. 

“Should we?” She slowly slides her hands to the back of her neck, entangling her fingers to keep her latched onto him even as she pulls away to flash him a pretend contemplative expression.  

Eyebrows cocked in playfulness, they share an indicative look in silence, only for them to break it in unison. “Nahh.”

“Right? It’s what makes us us.” Jake pulls her in by the hips which are carrying their son. 

Everything about Amy reminds him of their little miracle and makes him feel all tingly and excited. One look at her, one touch, and he forgets about the rest of the world and its crappiness. He has Amy and together with the tiny human in her belly, she is his entire universe. 

“Exactly.”

She closes the gap between them (as much as she can with the full-blown balloon shape of her stomach). 

“So,” she mumbles against his lips, “what are your plans for us?” 

Sadly, the 3-hour drive from home didn’t do wonders for her heavily pregnant body and even though she won’t admit it out loud, she hopes her husband’s plans for tonight will demand the bare minimum of her. She feels his lips and body withdraw, prompting her eyes open however the mischievous smile that meets her has a dimmed anxious feeling creeping over her - he does remember she’s 35 weeks pregnant, right? 

“I know that look, Peralta.” Her voice is distrustful, and after 7 years together she should know better than giving in to his teasing, but her suspicious air only fuels his fire and desire to mess with her. 

“In honor of my incredible and always so organized wife, there’s a tightknit schedule waiting for us.”

Tightknit schedule? Amy would usually be beaming at these words but right then and there, swollen legs, hungry and feeling everything but hot and fit after the drive, she aches to fall back onto the bed and sleep for days. It’s huge, king-sized, with crispy white sheets and the fluffy pillows are definitely calling her name. Although, the fact that Jake has everything planned out for their last vacation together, just the two of them, does pull on some heartstrings. He loves her so much and she loves him so much too. So much that she (almost) doesn’t turn a hair when he proudly starts listing their schedule for the evening and following day. 

“So right now it’s 4 PM which means unpacking-time. At 6 we have a dinner reservation at this cute little restaurant in a little town nearby so we’ll need to leave at approximately 5.45. At 8 there’s a showing of Die Hard at the local movie theater, which I thought we could attend?”

Okay, maybe her left eye flinches at this but very discreetly (or so she chooses to believe). 

“Then tomorrow there’s breakfast at 7, which is perfect because we have canoeing on the lake at 8.30...” 

She zones out after this. Hormones, tiredness, the fact that she can’t feel her feet- there are a thousand reasons but Amy can feel the most is tears prickling, threatening to spill. Not because she doesn’t appreciate her husband’s efforts and grand gestures, all for her, but because she can’t stand the thought of doing any of these sweet things he’s planned for them. She can’t cry though. He’s going to think something is actually wrong.

“Babe?”

However far gone she was, the sound of Jake’s voice pulls her back in and there’s a confusing mixture of mischief and pure adoration shining from these famous deep brown eyes. Why is he almost smiling when she’s having a tiny meltdown?

“Are you crying?”

“No?” she scoffs although she’s proven wrong upon touching her cheek where her fingers are met by a thin wet streak. “I’m just,” she clears her throat in hopes of avoiding a strained voice, “so overwhelmed by happiness and everything you’ve planned for us. It all sounds… great.”

Silence dawns upon them as Amy’s fake smile tries to convince him. On his part, Jake is biting his lip in an attempt to hold back a laugh, but his wife’s panicked look and teary eyes have him failing to last and after a couple of seconds he breaks the quietness. 

“Honey, I’m messing with you,” he chuckles and quickly pulls her back in for a tight hug, as tight as the belly allows, pecking the top of her head. “I know you love a good schedule but the only plans I have for us are: staying in bed, ordering room service, and watching tv.”

“Oh, thank God.”

The moan of relief flies out of her before she can even consider how it must sound to Jake, a great deal of embarrassment hitting her upon realization. She just made it sound like she wouldn’t appreciate her husband’s effort to make this weekend of theirs the best. 

“Jake, I’m so sorry! I didn’t-”

She pulls back to look him in the eyes, ready to offer a sincere apology for her blunt exclamation. She never gets to. Instead, she’s met with a huge grin and her husband looking everything but mad or hurt. Almost as if he knew. He knew how she’d react. He wanted her to react.

“You sly sneak! You knew you’d freak me out!” 

Only her husband can trick her like this, and, on one hand, it’s very endearing... Jake Peralta is more than just a good cop; he’s excellent. Brilliant and bold, maybe even too much sometimes, although he usually gets away with it. Usually, she’s always on his heels and she hates to admit it, but her mommy brain and restless hormones are making it much harder, if not impossible, to keep up with his always upbeat pace. 

“Of course I knew, babe.”

No matter how hard she tries, she can’t even find it within herself to be genuinely annoyed with him. He’s pulled her back into his arms and is looking at her with that mischievous smile that can both infuriate and enchant her. Tonight it’s a little bit of both although mostly the latter, she has to admit and the last bit of annoyance melts away the second he leans in, offering her a soft kiss that lets reminds her of the fact that he’s the best thing in the whole damn world. 

“I love you,” she manages to mumble against his lips before he can pull too far back, her swollen fingers cradling his jaw to emphasize her words. It tampers with any kind of reasoning and her ability to remain miffed. 

“I love you too...” her husband mumbles back against her lips. 

Pulling away isn’t an option, he’s too addicted and he enjoys feeling the air coming from her nose when she chuckles. “How much?”

“At the very least enough to not make my heavily pregnant wife canoe around a lake.” 

“Peanut and I appreciate that very much.”

Although after all these months there’s a comfort and familiarity in being able to rub her belly and know her son is in there, safe and sound, knowing he soon enough will be out here in the real world with them has butterflies fluttering in her chest. Jake’s hand joining hers in stroking her belly only causes the number of butterflies to multiply, explode all over again, and her hormones are making her question whether she wants to cry or laugh - or perhaps do both. After such a long wait, from the second they decided to start trying, there’s no blaming her impatience. There’s so much to expect and patience has never been her strongest asset. Only when it comes to Jake and their son. She’s impatient to see, hear and feel it all. The life and adventure she’s created with the man she loves the most seems scarily close yet torturously far away. 

With no reason to leave in sight, Amy finds herself bundled up in a hotel bed sent from heaven, wearing nothing but panties and her favorite nursing bra. Jake is on an errand run to grab her the creme cheese-filled pierogis and Arroz con Leche their son and she are very much craving. Although she does prefer her abuela’s homemade version of the latter, even a pregnant Amy can come to terms with the fact that there are limits to Jake’s super husband-powers. He can and will get her almost anything as long as physically possible - or within a radius of 20 miles which Abuela Dolores at this given time for good reasons isn’t. 

Amy had insisted on the hotel’s room service menu being more than fine, but her husband knows her all too well and could tell she wasn’t content with the ravioli and créme brulée she’d originally settled for. Before she could even begin to protest his offer to run out and get it for her, her husband had pulled on a pair of jogging pants and a hoodie, grabbed his keys, and left her behind with a peck to the top of her head and a promise to be back in not too long. 

In all honesty, the ravioli and creme brulée would’ve been fine, and she would’ve preferred Jake to be here to cuddle her. Nonetheless, there’s no denying how loved and important Jake makes her feel. Especially when he suddenly walks in the door, multiple plastic bags hanging on his arms and car keys dangling from his mouth. The view is hilarious, to say the very least, and she wonders: how did she ever get so very lucky? 

Perhaps she will never know the answer to this. Luckily when you’re cuddled up in a soft hotel bed eating pierogis, fries, grapes, and Arroz con Leche with the love of your life, it doesn’t really matter how you got there. Being too busy talking, eating, and making out, the documentary about the history of paper Amy’s been dying to watch is mostly just background noise. 

“Can you believe we’re having a baby?”

Her husband’s mouth is filled with fries and before she can even think of answering his question, she has to reach over to wipe ketchup from the corner of his mouth. 

“Yes… but also no. In a good way.”

It’s true. She always knew she wanted kids but wanting is one thing; actually outliving it still seems surreal to her, even as she runs her hands around the curve of the skin encapsulating their very own little human being. What makes it so much more surreal is the fact that Jake Peralta is the father. Jake Peralta, the guy who she 6 years ago could only pine for. Now she’s lying in bed with him, watching him smile at her with those soft, brown eyes and warm rosy lips that she not so secretly hopes their son will inherit. He swiftly wipes oil and salt off his fingers before reaching over to place his hands on top of her belly. Placing hers on top of his happens like a newfound reflex of hers. His hand is warm and feels like home.

“This is probably the last getaway we’ll have, yanno, just the two of us.”  

His soft voice has her looking up from their joined hands on her belly to see him looking directly at her with glistening eyes, the blue light from the television casting a blue hue on the side of his head. He looks so handsome, pensive, so perfect and she can’t come to terms with the fact that he’s her’s and she his, and together they’ve created new life.

“Yeah. More likely than not.” 

“How do you feel about that? Are you scared? You know- of giving birth and how life will be after that?”

A few beats of silence go by, only the dull sound of the tv filling the otherwise silent room. His hand never slips out of from beneath hers. Does this question maybe reflect some worries of his? 

“Not scared, per se...”

She quickly makes sure that there’s no food in-between them before scooting in closer to him. Her hand slips off of his only to slide up his arm, all the way up to cup his face. There’s close to no room between them. Her thumb dances across his cheekbone. 

“... Excited, maybe a bit anxious, but I know it’ll be alright and so very worth it in the end. And yeah, our life nd dynamic might have to change a bit but it’ll always be us. But I’m not scared,” This seems to put a damper on his running mind. “And you know why?”

“Hm?”

“Because I have the world’s best baby daddy.”

As hoped a wide smile lights up his face, pure unadulterated joy so obviously present in this little moment of theirs. Worries seem irrelevant and non-existing. 

“Are you worried, babe?” 

She sees his smile fade a bit but not enough to genuinely worry her. Just like everyone, he has his thoughts and worries. With care comes worries. He wants to do his best, she knows. 

“Maybe a bit, you know? Like not genuinely worried like I would’ve been a few years ago, but just… averagely worried.” 

“That’s okay,” she comforts, her thumb still tracing smooth lines on his cheek. “It’s normal. It just means you care and want to do good, which is all I can really ask of you.” 

“I do care. A lot. So so much,” he chuckles shyly. 

“Which is also why you’re going to be fine, I will be fine and everything will be fine.” 

She doesn’t give him the time to agree nor protest but instead leans in to place a long, tender kiss on his lips, inviting him to join in on the moment.  It’s just a simple kiss, soft, like the one they had a Shaw’s after agreeing to stop trying (which eventually lead to more trying, but that’s beside the point). With every breath, they take the kiss grows deeper, longer. It’s as if their bodies are aware of the fact that this will be the last time they get to do this without a child to get home to; without the responsibility of being a parent. All at once, it’s frightening but also, more than anything, exciting. Their lives might be on the verge of changing forever. Although lying there in bed together, feeling the soft touch of their spouse, it feels like they’ve never changed and never will. They’re always going to be Jake and Amy. 

[nyan-koii]

Hashira ft. Sabito as genshin impact players

aunotes : Bad grammar ahead! I didnt proofread it so be aware of brain damage. plus i initially wrote it at the 1.6 update

PART 1 : T.Muichiro, R.Kyojuro, K.Shinobu, S.Sanemi, U.Tengen 

Muichiro : he probably would be uninterested at first. He's more to first person shooting game or anything other than this concept of farming or investing. So that's why when he saw yuichirou banging his fist on his desk, trying to get his fav character, he would simply just watch

"Fck this game, i've had enough,"

"But you havent finish your wishing things yet,"

Stares. "How about you give it a try mui. You might get the character i want,"

"You sure about that? You might get angry at me," "better than nothing. Now go go, get em you donkey,"

His first ten pulls on the game brings out a light we all want to see

"Eh is tha-" "AAAA A FUCKING 5 STAR FCK FCKFCK,"

Apparently, it was one of the luckiest wish yuichiro had ever seen so far

"OHMYFUCK, you GOT A GODDAMN KLEE, QIQI AND SUCROSE WTFF???"

"I think i get your fav character?"

"Yeahh!! More than that to be honest. I want klee but you brought me two more person," sniffles and cries "you're really lucky mui. You should try and play the game,"

"It's probably the system. I doubt im that lucky tho,"

Nah, he really is lucky. Apparently he wished for his friends and got what they all really wanted for so long

"Thank you for getting me the aquila favonia, muichiro,"

"It's nothing really. I just simply press the button. It might be the system that's giving you the thing you want when i wish,"

"But still, even if i were to wish, i can get really scared and paranoid over it,"

"That's bad. You shouldnt invest yourself that much in the game tanjiro. It's just a game,"

"Ehehehe, i guess so. But you're really good at it muichiro! If you download it, we can play together :D!"

!!!!

It took the word "play together" to get muichiro down on his knee for that game. Usually the idea of playing with your friends is not that interesting. So when tanjiro said that, you bet he's going to play it

Type of player

Extremely lucky it's not even real. He got a five star on the beginner's banner

Fast farming. He probably will complete all the quest and become an endgame player within one month

"I just wanted to play with tanjiro..." bashfully

He's really good with whatever he's doing. Attack combo, dodging, elemental reaction and all sorts of stuff. If he invest more of his time on artifacts, he would probably even one shot it!!

He's very lucky. Very

Kyojuro : he wouldnt even know the existence of this game. Well, he took a glimpse of it one day and boom, heart stolen. Maybe it was the fiery burning passion in bennett that made him play the game.

'oh wow!! What a determined young boy! Even though he has a very bad luck he still keep pushing forward! Amazing!!'

'I want to be like him'

Kyojuro's the type of player to read and pay attention to every single lore of his fav character. Bennett, oh my how he wish he could've had bennett in his team. Every wishes he made would make him a c6 bennett main if only barbara wont stop coming home

"I really like you barbara but i dont want you!! Thank you for the c6 though!! I promise to use you in the future but just-" he prepares to wish

"not NOW!!" Clicks

The highest con of bennett he had ever gotten is probably c1. One day the paimon's bargain shop offered bennett as their monthly character. Kyojuro had never been so excited over a game before. He usually perks up over academics and not this kind of thing. But it's bennett, the character he admires the most.

Unfortunately he couldnt get it due to low currency. He had never feel so sad in his life.

"I shall not give up. Dont worry, i will be a c6 bennett main!!!"

He will be a c6 bennett haver!!

Type of player :

Carefully reads every stories and listens to their lines attentively. He finds it amazing how the company spent their everything on this game. It amazes him. From the stories, lores and lines, he truly appreciates it.

Balance his team pretty well. He mains bennett so he doesnt need that much of a healer in his team.

Enjoys bennett's hangout very much!! He tried to not get him killed by the dungeon's trap but ended up having to sacrifice him which ultimately ends the route. He had never felt so down and guilty before.

Not much of a damage dealer. He prefers to play it in normal mode and doesnt care that much about one shotting monster.

He feeds his character three meals a day!! If only there's a sleep option, he would be sending bennett to sleep first before the rest.

Everyone loves his teapot

Shinobu : found the game while she's scrolling through the app store out of boredom. Initially she played it on her phone but due to the fps and a really bad ping, so bad that douma wouldnt find her interesting anymore, she finally downloaded the game on her pc where things has starting to get real

"Ara, shinobu chan, it's lunch time already. Come downstairs please,"

"Sis give me five more minutes, JUST FIVE PLEASE I NEED TO KICK CHILDE's ASS,"

"he's not going anywhere sweetie,"

"yEAHH BUT MY BP IS,"

'Bp?'

"DIE DIE DIE!!" Aggresive clicking intensifies

"Shinobu chan dont hurt the keyboard that much!!"

She got lucky on the beginner's banner too and pulled a 5 star along with bennett and noelle. Who's the 5 star? Diluc Ragnvindr in all of his glory. Shinobu benched him sadly. She prefers sword over any other weapon

"I mean he's cool i guess but i just really dont get that 'WOAHHH COOL' vibe from him you know?"

"then give your diluc to me! I really want him so bad shinobu chan!"

Deep sighs "yeah sure. You can have my c2 diluc mitsuri..."

Loses 50/50 to diluc everytime everyone would think she either is lucky or cursed by the amount of that man greeting him on the screen. She still bench him though, sadly

"Im begging you, give me jEANN THE GRANDMASTER I NEED HEALER iN MY PARTY TO DO ABYSS

Type of player :

Suffers a lot in the abyss because she just want the primos which is a valid reason to do because that's the only thing that keeps her going

She's a sword character main. She'll properly build every character as either support or dps. The support would be kaeya and bennett, and her main dps ayaka

Ayaka main btw

Honestly at some point she wanted to quit the game because of how tiring it is but then inazuma came out

Fragile resin = 0

Resin = 160/160 happens once in a blue moon

"i should probably control myself with the amount of resin i've used,"

"But i cant,"

Hates domain but always can be seen playing in there

Only coops if mitsuri is there

"So that someone can calm me down,"

"That's not a really good reason shinobu chan,"

Sanemi : dude probably know the game through obanai. He watched the latter play and finds it interesting on how high the numbers he dealt. He loves challenges so a game like genshin impact would probably satisfy his need.

"Obanai, are you hearing this shit?"

"What is it sanemi, im busy doing this event,"

"That loser giyuu is also playing the game,"

"Oh yeah i know,"

"YOU KNOW? WHY YOU DIDNT TELL ME??"

"i just know right after you told me,"

"...."

Sanemi's a meta but a mediocre one. He's meta but he doesnt show it that much. Probably buys welkin once in every three months or when he really needs it same goes with battle pass too. Honestly, he really just use his money when he really needs something

"Donno if my allowance can buy me a welkin so i'll probably skip,"

"But the next banner is zhongli's,"

"....."

"Ah fuck it," buys

My man cant dodge after he got zhongli. Its very painful because he used to studies the enemies movement in the early game so that he can utilizes it on the team but zhongli's shield is so tank he forgot that dodging exists

"Im gonna kill you and you and you hhahaahhaah just you wait im gonna shred all of yo- oh shit zhongli's shield. puT IT BACK PUT IT BACK ON,"

That one event where zhongli's shield plays an important role in the domain? Yeah, he felt like a god at that time. Even got his c2 on his rerun. Sanemi just really like zhongli because it kinda reminds him of himejima. Calm and wise and strong too. He looks up on that kind of person

"Zhongli sama, im in debt for all of your hard work protecting my team," bows and wipes tears

Type of player :

Spends a little money on the game to get what he wants

Zhongli main

Is that one player that has hoards of food but doesnt even use it

"Why need healer when you have zhongli's shield,"

Compare to kyojuro, he doesnt even touch the teapot because he finds it ridiculous and bothersome to create and design everything in it

Loves one shotting bosses and compares it to giyuu. He ask for advices from obanai regarding team build supports and stuffs

Doesnt do character's story quest. The key is full every single time. He unlocks it but leaves the quest like that.

"Ah shit, i accidentally activate the quest,"

His friend list only has obanai in it. Whenever people sent him friend request, he wouldnt hesitate, more like wouldnt care to accept it

They either have to coop in obanai's world or his world and after that, unfriend immediately

Says thank you after coop because he has manners and then completely disappears

"Zhongli main forever,"

Tengen : played since 1.0 this madlad has been staying loyal to the game ever since. Quite huge amount of money he spend on this game to be honest but he never gets broke by it. You can see his regular donation to the game by purchasing welkin and battle pass and some genesis crystal too. He's loaded with money, he didnt know what to do with it.

Uzui also plays honkai impact and guns girl Z so when he saw the unknown god at the intro , he was not surprised.

"Oh we have to pick between the siblings? Cool cool co- oh hi kiana,"

"Thats so herrscher of void hahahahah,"

Although he is a loyal fan to MihoYo games, he lost his composure when he saw the 1st genshin anniversary reward because what was that. Imagine getting billions of money and they give us this? Tengen cant believe this shit

"Oh god wtf was that reward, i have to draw to get a welkin and some primos?? aND I ALSO HAVE TO BE LUCKY? WHAT-"

"WHERE'S MY FREE MONA,"

In need of mona. He needs mona so bad he literally spent his money on standard banner to get mona but always ends up with qiqi. Not that he's complaining but he just wants the astrologist to complete the support team

"GOD QIQI YOU AGAIN? WTF WFF WTF-" converts genesis crystal to primigems

"Tengen, you should control yourself!"

"SHUT UP KYOJURO, IM GONNA WASTE MY MONEY TILL I GET HER,"

"yeah but my f2p ass is hurting with how many bennett cons you got," droops

Tengen sees potential in every character. Everyone has their weakness and strength so when kokomi comes out, he diss her at first but then realize maybe its a new way for a character. Adds the uniqueness if he may say so.

"Meh i dont care honestly. You guys should pull whoever you find nice or beautiful. Like me ;)"

"Who do you main uzui?"

"Beidou,"

Type of player

Spoils the storylines, lores, leaks A LOT THE REST HAVE TO BLOCK HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Speed runs the game and has become an endgame player ever since but he still does his daily commission and helps people with domains and stuffs

R5 every battle pass weapon

Fights azhdaha for fun and to test out his characters rather than ruin guards and stuff

Mona wanter

Puts traveller as the pfp and doesnt display any showcase of his characters and namecards. You can only see his achievements and spiral abyss ( 12-3 ). Says its for fun and mystery

Throws a lot of pickup lines and roleplays a lot. Spams your chatbox messages with stickers and censored stuffs

Probably steals your ores and exotic things like violetgrass, qingxin and silk flowers

Screams in the chatbox whenever he saw Mona until Kyojuro had to calm him down

Changes signature every single time and sometimes put spoilers in it

In every survey he would complain "MihoYo where the fuck is my Mona,"

Doesnt heals his characters

[melon-wing]

A Confession of Love Part 1 [Grian x Ren]

Betaread by tha amazingly talented @aaronampora-ao3 Warning: This is sad! This may hurt a bit. ~*~

Grian looked down at his communicator, a sad smile playing on his lips. How could he be so happy and sad at the same time? A laugh bubbled up without him being able to hold it back. He wiped a stray tear from his face. This was stupid. He shouldn’t be as emotionally invested in this as he was. Ren was talking to everyone like that. It was just the way he was. Ren loved everyone and in return it was so easy to love him…

And like everyone, Grian had told him that much countless times. He had sent Ren so many ‘I love you’s, just like all the other Hermits had in their group chat. And he wanted to believe that he was still special, that there was something between them. He wanted to believe it so badly. But deep down he really knew he wasn’t. He was exactly like everyone else to Ren. Grian looked at the message again and his heart felt so weird, like it wanted to jump and ache at the same time.

<Ren> I love you so much, man. Talking to you is so much fun. I almost walked off a cliff because I couldn’t take my eyes off your message. I really wanna see you again.

Grian hesitated, his fingers twitching over the little keypad. He knew what he wanted to say, but at the same time he really didn’t. He wanted to drop hints so badly, but hints at what? That he was in love? But was he?

It was just so fucking confusing. They hadn’t even interacted all that much since he joined this world. Their bases were far apart and they only sometimes crossed paths in the shopping district. They mostly chatted in the group chat, and lately privately as well. How could you be in love with someone you had barely spent any time with?

He started typing.

<Grian> You know, I really love you too. I love talking to you. It’s weird to imagine a life before Hermitcraft now…

He sent the message. But he wasn’t happy with it yet. He felt the urge to say more, to drop some hint. An ‘I love you’ was so common in their chats, it had lost it’s deeper meaning. Everybody on the server said it.

‘You know… My friend Taurtis asked about us and I told him I would date you if you were into guys and I was here for longer than just this one season’

Grian stared at the words he had written for a while. He really wanted to send it, but he was scared of the way Ren might react. What if that went too far? It was nothing like a love confession. Ren might just take it as another of their overly affectionate talks and nothing more… But what if it made him uncomfortable? He didn’t want to lose the way they talked to each other so easily. Things might get awkward.

Grian leaned back against the tree, looking up at the little piece of sky he could see through the skylight of his aviary. The leaves and sky got a little blurry slowly, as his eyes filled with tears. Fuck. Why was he starting to cry again? He was so confused. This was all so confusing. He should know what he wanted.

He didn’t.

With every new message that Ren sent him, he hoped for some hint inside. Some hidden meaning. But at the same time he dreaded it. What if Ren was interested? Grian would be gone again after they were done in this world. He had only asked Xisuma to join them for one Season. He’d move on in a year. They’d be worlds apart. Was he ready to commit to something like that… And was it selfish to maybe hope that Ren would come with him?

Damn, he wasn’t a stupid lovestruck teenager anymore. He was old enough to have a grip on his emotions.

He took a deep breath. He’d been there before. And he could do this.

“I decide who I fall in love with”, Grian said in a quiet whisper, the words he had told himself so often, every time his heart had threatened to beat faster for someone. “If I don’t want to, I won’t fall for him. I won’t fall in love. I can’t… I’m done with love. I’m happy right now with the way things are.”

He looked back down at the communicator, his own message seemingly glaring back at him. But what if there was a chance? Would he take it? His finger hovered over the send button. He wanted to send it so badly.

He didn’t.

Instead he deleted it all again.

He wasn’t in love. He wasn’t. He wouldn’t allow himself to fall. He wasn’t ready to be disappointed. He had been disappointed too often. He had let himself fall, believing his crush was also interested, only to fall into a void of sadness. This time he wouldn’t let himself fall. He would keep pretending nothing was wrong. To Ren, he was just like the others. The love confessions to him were nothing special.

And he wasn’t in love.

Because he had decided he wasn’t.

But if he wasn’t, why wouldn’t the tears stop coming? Why did his heart hurt when he made that decision? Did he want to fall in love…?

No.

He had decided he didn’t want to. His heart should really stop trying to be so dramatic. This was real life and not some romance novel.

<Ren> Right back at you, my dude! Maybe you will change your mind and stay with us for longer than one season ;)

Grian sighed. His head was a mess. He wasn’t able to think clearly anymore. He… He was just tired. He was imagining things. He wasn’t really falling. He just needed a night of rest. Just one night and in the morning everything would look different again. He’d have a clear head once more. He’d be rational. He’d not be a crying mess over some stupid messages that meant nothing.

<Grian> I’m going to crash now. Talk to you tomorrow.

<Ren> I’m looking forward to it. Love you!

Without answering and with a heavy heart Grian put the communicator aside. One of his parrots hopped over, eyeing the device curiously and then decided that it wasn’t interesting enough, instead going for Grian’s lap, snuggling against him.

Grian closed his eyes. Tomorrow the world would be different. His future self would laugh at the mess he was right now.

Grian awoke when a felt a stinging sensation on his head. He opened his eyes to look at one of the little birds, trying to rip out some of his hairs, probably to build its nest. Grian gently pushed it away, which earned him an annoyed squawk.

He took out his communicator and looked at it. There were only a few new messages in their group chat. And suddenly he felt so stupid about the evening before. Why had he gotten so upset again? He was doing that to himself. He probably wanted to suffer. He cursed his brain for that. He got up, putting his parrot onto one of the low hanging branches. He still felt the urge to message Ren – to check if he really was over yesterday's emotions. Or at least he told himself that was the reason every time a voice in his head suggested something else.

He flew down his base and stepped through the portal. He had a busy day ahead. They were about to update their world’s code in a few days and he’d need to work on Sahara a bit more. There was so much to prepare. He had no time to think about some stupid emotions.

Grian was in the middle of trimming the trees in Sahara’s courtyard, when a loud beep made him almost fall from the ladder with how fast he scrambled to get his communicator out. He berated himself for being that jumpy, but he couldn’t help it. When he looked down and saw Mumbo’s name flashing over his screen he gave a sad sigh and then stopped, eyes going wide. No! He so hadn’t been hoping for Ren to message him. No way!

He dropped a quick reply to Mumbo and then checked the group chat again. And there he was, Ren, throwing around words of love. Something rose up inside of Grian as he read about Ren gushing over Iskall and his style of building. It didn’t take him long to realise he was jealous. And with that realisation came a pressing amount of guilt. He loved Iskall dearly. He himself threw similar words at him all the time… Iskall deserved the love and praise. And Grian wasn’t in love anyways. His brain had no right to be jealous, because he and Ren? They were just friends and wouldn’t ever be anything more. He had decided that and his brain and heart were supposed to follow his decision.

He started typing a message of support into the group chat and the moment he sent it off, Ren greeted him, with a bunch of hearts and excitement.

<Ren> GRIAN! Have I told you today how much I love you already? Because I do! I love you!

Grian grimaced a little, sitting down on the top of the ladder, resting his head against the tree trunk. His chest felt tighter the moment he read that message. He had been over it. He was still over it. They were friends. And on Hermitcraft, this was what friendly interaction looked like.

<Grian> Love you too. But I gotta keep working now. The trees won’t cut themselves… at least not until Mumbo builds some redstone machine to do it.

<Grian> Also, Mumbo? If you read this, I’m kidding. Stop planning a tree cutting machine, it would ruin the way the Sahara yard looks like.

Mumbo only sent a frowny face into the group chat and immediately a round of friendly teasing started. Grian put the small device into his back pocket, returning to cutting the trees. So what if he was a bit rougher with the huge scissors than necessary? It meant nothing.

When he was finished he went back to his base building a bit on the pillars framing it, putting in his dwindling supply of white concrete. He really needed to use a different colour Palette one day. Maybe one that didn’t involve a block as grind-heavy as concrete. Maybe he should build a house out of wood once they went to the new part of the world. It had been a while since he had built something rustic. Taurtis would be shocked if he knew how modern all of Grian’s buildings looked.

Taurtis... Grian stopped what he was doing, looking at the sky in deep thought. He should really message Taurtis again. Talking to him always helped Grian figure out his emotions. Taurtis could make those doubts go away. He’d laugh and tell Grian he was being stupid and then Grian could move on and not feel so weird every time Ren declared his undying love for him in the chat. He just hoped Taurtis would really agree with him, that there was nothing going on. Because he didn’t know what he’d do ifTaurtis told him he had fallen for Ren.

He definitely hadn’t fallen for Ren. That was ridiculous. It would make far more sense to fall for Mumbo, who was his neighbour and with whom he shared so many projects. Or maybe fall in love with Taurtis, who had been his friend for years and who he planned to join again after this Season was over. Falling for Ren made no sense... And that was why he definitely hadn’t fallen. It all made sense. It was the only logical conclusion.

He didn’t love Ren as more than a friend. He never had and he never would.

Grian looked back at his communicator again. Back at another private message from Ren, asking him something and ending with another declaration of love.

<Grian> I know. Love you too.

<Ren> Forever and always?

Grian hesitated for a second. He was a bit too slow to stop his brain from wondering if there might be some intention behind Ren’s words. If he maybe was just as confused as Grian and tried to test the waters. Grian suppressed that voice as fast as it had spoken up.

<Grian> Sure! Forever and always! Love you so much!

Grian let out a frustrated noise, pressing a hand against his eyes. This was stupid. He should just outright ask Ren if he had feelings for him. When Ren said no it would be far easier to tell his brain to stop all of this. Maybe then his brain would stop imagining them kissing. Damn, now he had that image stuck in his head once more.

His bird made a worried sound and Grian let his hand drop again. "Don't worry. Everything's alright. He doesn't like me that way and I don't... I... What if I ask and he says he likes me? I don't even know what I'd do then. I don't love Ren", Grian whispered to the bird, while gently caressing the feathers on its belly.

"Love Ren", the bird repeated and Grian could feel heat rising to his face. This was so dumb. He was getting flustered by some bird repeating his own words. Maybe he just needed another huge project to stop himself from thinking about it.

Grian looked down from his house in Hermitville and grinned in excitement. He sat on the highest tower, able to look over all of Hermitville and beyond. He loved the crooked way he built it. He had been right to change up his block palette a little after the whole modern thing. His communicator beeped, and Grian tried. He really tried to resist it. But after another beep and a few more seconds he sighed, putting his shulker of wood away to have his hands free. Their shared chat hadn't been that busy today and most of the messages had just been someone asking for coordinates or some blocks.

And every time Grian had hoped there'd be a message for him alone... But they were all busy building in this new place, discovering all the new things this part of the world offered them. And he didn't drop any message either... He had thought about it. He had opened his private chat with Ren a few times in the last hours alone. He had stared at the 'I love you's from the past days, his fingers hovering over the keypad. He had never even entered one letter. He didn't really have any reason to write to Ren. And no matter how hard he thought about it, he couldn't think of a reason to start a conversation. Sure, Ren always told him he loved their conversations, and that Grian could always talk to him... But still. It felt weird.

Grian looked into the group chat and froze. Ren was finally in the chat. And why did he freeze up at that alone? This was so stupid. Grian took a breath and then read the message. It was the same as the rest, Ren was just asking for some blocks he needed and didn't want to go way back for.

<Grian> I got some. You can come over any time!

Grian's hand was shaking a little, as he was typing and he deleted the message again. He really shouldn't. He needed the materials for himself. He really did. But he had the urge to just give them to Ren, if it meant the other would come over and talk to him.

Ren must have seen him typing something though, because there was an immediate reply.

<Ren> Grian! My man! My love! You got something for me?

And finally Grian felt brave enough to reply.

<Grian> Of course! You can pick them up at my place. You know I'd do anything for you!

<Ren> Anything?

Grian hesitated, staring at the message and his mind went wild. Anything? Oh fuck. What direction was Ren going with this? Was this some innuendo? Him flirting? Could Ren be interested after all? Grian's heart was beating in his throat when he wrote back.

<Grian> Yes. Anything.

And then he waited. His heart was racing. He let himself fall back, lying on the rooftop and looking at the sky. He was getting nervous now. What if Ren had really meant something more with that. What if Ren was about to ask him on a date or something. Oh god he wasn't ready for that. He had told himself that he wouldn't... But when he had sent Ren that message, it had mostly been his heart speaking, not his brain and he had meant it. Whatever Ren would ask of him next, Grian would love to hand it to him on a silver platter. But his mind was screaming at him not to. Play it off as a joke if Ren really asked. And why was it taking Ren so long to reply? What did he need to write to that?

There was a beep, but Grian didn't move. He didn't feel ready, when just a second ago he had been so impatient.

Grian took a deep breath, calming his nerves. There was nothing to be nervous about. Nothing. He finally looked back down and opened the message.

<Ren> You know that is almost as good as an IOU note, right? You should be more careful with how you phrase things! But I already know what I want. Take a break. You’ve been building like crazy. You need to take care better of yourself Grian! Don’t overwork yourself! The competition you got going on is all fun and games until one of you guys faints. I love you, man, but I think you also need to love yourself more!

Grian’s heart stopped beating so fast and why did he suddenly feel disappointed? What had he wanted Ren to say? What had he expected? He let out a joyless laugh. He wanted to scream, wanted to cry. He wanted to throw the communicator off the rooftop and watch it crash on the ground below. And at the same time he wanted to be glad that this hadn’t went into a certain direction. Because if Ren had tried to flirt, Grian would have broken his heart... Because he wasn’t in love with Ren, right?

It took a few seconds to calm himself down again.

<Grian> I can’t promise that. It’s hard, you know? I get so lost in building I don’t even realise it’s already so late.

<Ren> Grian, please. For me?

<Grian> I promise that I’ll try. I can’t promise more than that. But I’ll try for you, alright? For me that is a lot!

<Ren> That’s perfect. I love you so very much! I wish you could love yourself just as much as I love you!

Grian did throw the communicator off the roof after that message. He didn’t know why he did that. He really didn’t. He had thought it would satisfy him, but as he watched the little device shatter on the ground, only to immediately respawn in his hands, he only felt hollow inside.

He really needed to speak with somebody about all of this. But who? Taurtis was busy at the moment. Then there was Mumbo or Iskall. But how much was Grian willing to share with them? Sure, they had become great friends in the comparably short time Grian had spent in this world... But they were also friends with Ren and that might make it weird.

And what if Ren also talked to them about it? What if they knew for a fact that Ren was or wasn’t interested. What if they told him what Grian had suspected all along? That Ren was 100 percent straight and wouldn’t be interested in Grian because of that.

And why the fuck did Grian think he’d be disappointed again?

“Grian! My dude! Down here!”

Grian jumped when he heard the voice and his heart seemed to jump along, almost leaving his body  the way it raced. Right, the materials he had promised to Ren! He had almost forgotten about that.

He did his best to compose himself, getting up only to realise that his cheeks were still a little wet. Damn. He hurriedly wiped the remaining tears off with the sleeve of his jumper. He was really lucky that Ren had walked over here instead of coming by Eytra and maybe landing right next to him.

Grian smiled and waved down before jumping off the roof. He had planned to land next to Ren, but a sudden gust of wind changed his flight direction and he landed right in Ren’s outstretched arms. They looked at each other and Ren chuckled. Grian felt a blush rising to his cheeks at that sound, hurriedly taking a step back. But he couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips.

“I would have never thought that the day would ever come, when I needed to catch the server’s best flyer.”

Grian rolled his eyes, casting a fond glance towards Ren, before walking to his door. “You know you didn’t really have to catch me? I would have landed gracefully if you hadn’t stood there.”

“Well I like hugging you. So that was better than just stepping aside. You know, I love you.”

Grian faltered as he pressed the handle, almost falling forward with the door. Ren’s love declarations were nothing new. He read them daily, but hearing him say it was always even more jarring. And Grian felt so hesitant to return them then. In chat it was more casual, more meaningless. Speaking those actual words? It had been easier a while ago. When had that changed? When had he felt his throat close up at the thought of saying a little ‘I love you’ out loud?

“I know”, he just replied, voice quiet and he hoped Ren wouldn’t notice the little tremble in it. he felt stupid for it. He felt stupid for being unable to say those words when it had never been a problem. He had been able to say them to Ren. he was still able to say them to all the other Hermits. It was just a phrase. It didn’t have to be romantic. There were many forms of love after all…

Ren didn’t seem to notice his little hesitance as they entered the house. Grian tried to keep his hands busy, painfully aware of the others presence right behind him. Ren kept on talking, but Grian wasn't able to concentrate on the words, hearing that deep, rumbly voice, listening to those little chuckles, it drove him insane. He hurriedly got the materials out and put them into a shulker box.

"There you go", Grian finally said as he turned to Ren, doing his best, to push all of those unwelcome thoughts down. He managed until Ren smiled at him, eyes lighting up, almost sparkling in excitement and then there were arms around Grian. His face was pressed into Ren's chest and he could feel the heat radiating off of him. He gasped in surprise and instantly Ren's scent seemed to be all around him.

"Thank you so much! You don't know how much you're helping me! I sort of misplaced my Elytra and I really don't want to walk all the way back to my original base", Ren said and as he was speaking, he kept a tight hold on Grian, one of his hands almost gently caressing Grian's back. And Grian didn't know what to say or do. Did Ren even realise what he was doing to Grian? Did Ren know what was going on inside of him? Grian could feel the walls he had built in his mind crumbling. He felt weak in the embrace, as if his muscles didn't work anymore. Maybe this was okay. Maybe it was alright to let himself go. Maybe he finally found someone... Maybe this time he wasn't imagining things. Maybe this time he was actually loved.

His hands twitched. He wanted to return the hug. He really did. He raised his hands slowly.

"Dude, you are a true friend! One of the best friends someone could ask for.”

Grian felt the walls snap back into place, stronger even then before and he let his hands drop again. He felt like someone had emptied a bucket of ice cold water over him.

"No worries, Ren. I got your back. But I have to get back to Sahara. We got a meeting there soon." With those words Grian stepped back out of the embrace, smiling tightly at Ren. "I got no time for our chit chat today. Sorry."

Ren looked a bit disappointed, but then smiled at Grian and nodded, before giving him a little salute. "Thanks again for those blocks. I'll put them to good use. And I'll return the favour. Just tell me if you ever need anything, alright?"

Grian just nodded and watched Ren leave his little house. He still felt crowded. Even when he was alone. His body was suddenly set to auto pilot, as if he was moving on muscle memory alone. His legs took him to the portal and then he was flying through the tunnels. No time at all seemed to pass until he was back at his old base and then back to the aviary. And then his feet touched the ground... and he became undone. He fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. All of his parrots were fluttering around him, roused from his sudden fall.

Grian should have known it all along. He had known it. And he had already decided that he didn't love Ren. Then why did it hurt so much? Why did his heart feel like someone was holding it in an iron grip? He didn't love Ren. He didn't. He never had. So what if Ren saw him as nothing more than a friend? That was alright, that was what he had hoped for. And still... He couldn't stop feeling like he had wished for a different ending. Maybe, just maybe his mind wasn't the one calling the shots after all. Maybe he had been lying to himself all alone, thinking he could decide not to be in love. He had been such a fool.

He was shaking, more tears rushing to his eyes and then he raised his head to the sky and screamed. He screamed until he was out of breath and then he just sat there, his head tilted backwards, looking at the ceiling, tears running over his cheeks.

He was in love.

He was in love and it was hopeless.

[chaeryybomb]

stray kids as anime boys: bang chan [part 1] [part 2]

✎ᝰ┆bang chan as the sports captain

(feat. stray kids && some of the 97liners)

listen

this is the only role I am 100% convince chan will be in an anime

u can't change my mind ᕦ(ò_ó)ᕤ

S O let's get into it

what sports captain is he??

the question should be what sports captain is he not 

d-does that make sense?? HDHS U GET WHAT I MEAN

look chan is build™ with muscles (and brains) he's gonna use those muscles

for s p o r t s

"chan u can't join all the sports club"

“watch me felix”

ya boi tried out for every sports club available in school and he got into to every one of them

THANKFULLY felix made him reject some(most) of them bc chan already doesn't sleep enough

everyone say thank u felix

so chan is in the volleyball and basketball club

and he's the volleyball captain!!!

chan is the secret weapon lemme tell u that

his spikes?? they can BREAK A WALL

so if u see chan practicing spikes pls be careful

avoid him

avoid the gym in general

unless ur asking for a concussion SKSKS

no joke there's a dent in one of the gym's wall bc he spiked too hard

his excuse was "bambam ur supposed to block it!"

"I WAS TRYING NOT TO DIE CHRISTOPHER!!!"

so how does that apply to u dear reader

well, ur not a huge sports fan

u rather stay at home and watch netflix than go under that cursed fireball u call a sun

but yk who is a huge sports fan???

ur best friends chaeyeon and lisa!

well technically bc chaeyeon is dating jaehyun who's also on the volleyball team

and lisa swears she doesn't but obviously she's there to look at jungkook

"y/n! there's a game after school today, and you're coming with us to watch it"

"just admit u wanna look at jungkook and go"

"WITH WHAT PROOF????"

"WITH THOSE HEART EYES LALISA"

"HHHHHHH CHAEYEON, Y/N IS BULLYING ME AGAIN"

Σ(°ロ°) "WHAT DO U MEAN AGAIN??? WHO WAS THE ONE WHO PUT CHILLI PEPPERS IN MY SANDWICH HUHH LISA WHOOOO—"

mama chaeyeon saves the day, "alright children no more fighting" 

"SHE STARTED IT FIRST!"

"FIGHT ME LISA" (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ

in the spongebob narrative voice 2 hours later

u find urself in sandwiched between chaeyeon and lisa, sitting on one of the gym's bleachers

chan and the boys are down there warming up

and u can't help but drift ur gaze to a certain (crispy)blond hair boy, who's stretching at the moment

maybe u were starting too long, but lisa nudges ur elbow with a sly smirk

"ohohoho y/n, what do u see??"

u shove her elbow away and glare at her, "ur about to see my fists in a minute"

the entire game ur gaze was set on chan and u don't even know why

jokes on u reader, it was the anime magic kicking in

up until the second half of the game, u had the sudden need to go to the bathroom and who are u to deny ur bladder dhhshd

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you tell lisa and stood up to squeeze ur way out of the bleachers

ur earbuds almost burst due to all the screaming dhshhd

but hey! u successfully made it to the end

＼（＠￣∇￣＠）／

u make ur way towards the exit when u hear lisa and chaeyeon scream your name

and suddenly the world went black

y/n?? y/n??? oh my god she fuckin dead

maybe u regain conscious for a few seconds bc the last thing u remembered was a pair of feet running and the scent of someone's sweat mixed with cologne

yk the typical anime shit dhsjdjs

when u wake up, ur laying down a bed and ur in a room where u don't recognise

"holy shit y/n, you're awake! lisa go get the nurse!" chaeyeon exclaims from beside you and you hear the door close

you squint your eyes, trying to adjust from the bright light

chaeyeon's face comes into view and she has a worried expression on

"w-what happened?? where am I??" you ask she helps you sit up on the bed

"you're in the nurse's office!"

"why,,, am I in the nurse's office?" you furrow your eyebrows at chaeyeon

"well you see—"

the door slams open to reveal lisa and the nurse

"oh good, y/n you're awake," the nurse smiles at you

she walks toward you and gently grabs your chin with her gloved hand to examine your face

"fortunately nothing is broken but that's gonna leave a bruise on your forehead for a while, you took quite a hit."

"a hit???" u furrow ur eyebrows even deeper if you could sjdjsk

"yeah! you got hit by a volleyball!! you should've seen what happened, the ball went flying like WOOOSH at you and BAM u were knocked out!!" lisa explains with many hand gestures

"it was a good thing that chan boy carried you here, you were out cold," the nurse adds.

wait

Σ(゜゜) c-chan???

CHAN CARRIED YOU HERE???

u don't even notice your face starts to heat up until the nurse looks at you with concern again

she places her hand against ur forehead and says, "oh my, you're heating up, I think you got a fever coming—"

"no! no, I'm completely fine!" you reassure the nurse

you bring your hands up to your cheeks and rub it harshly and slap it a few times in hopes the redness will go away

HAH SIKE UR BLOOD SAYS NO

the nurse let's you stay in the office for awhile, thank god school was already over

lisa and chaeyeon, like the best friends they were, stayed with u and walked u back home

the next morning when u wake up—

━Σ(ﾟДﾟ|||)━

HOLY SHIT THE NURSE WAS NOT KIDDING WHEN SHE SAID IT WAS GONNA LEAVE A BRUISE

THERE'S A HUGE ASS BUMP ON THE MIDDLE OF YOUR FOREHEAD

WHAT THE FUCK

HOW THE FUCK ARE U GONNA COVER THAT UP

U ARE THIS )( CLOSE IN CUTTING UR BANGS AT 7 IN THE MORNING JUST TO COVER UR FOREHEAD* U WOULD'VE IF UR BRAT OF A BROTHER DIDN'T KNOCK ON THE DOOR

"y/n hurry up you're gonna make us late!!"

"SHUT UP HYUNJIN I'M HAVING A MID LIFE CRISIS AT THE MOMENT"

"YOU CAN HAVE IT IN THE CAR"

in all honesty u should be thanking hyunjin for saving u from the future regrets

otw out of the bathroom u curse at hyunjin, who sticks his tongue out in return, and grab one of ur beanies from ur dresser and slip it on

"why the fuck are you wearing a beanie in the middle of summer??"

"it's called fashion hyunjin, look it up"

(hyunjin, snorting) "please, we all know I'm the fashionable one in this family"

so yes, u walk into school with a beanie on ur head, in the middle of summer

it definitely caught weird looks from people because again, why the fuck are you wearing a beanie in this heat???

it's equivalent to having a "I'm stupid" sign taped on ur forehead

u walk into class, already tired from everything and everyone and first period hasn't even started yet!

what a mood

chaeyeon looks at you weirdly and opens her mouth to ask but you stop her

"don't. a lot of people already asked," you groaned, pointing at the black beanie on your head, specifically the spot where u got hit at

chaeyeon looks at you with sympathy and pats your head

when lunch rolls on, lisa basically slams into ur classroom

"why are u wearing a beanie??"

"because I can and it's a free country!!!" u snap at her

"geez fine," lisa puts her hands up

(lisa, mumbling under her breath) "someone woke up from the wrong side of bed today"

"HEY I HEARD THA—"

"OKAAAAY let's go I wanna get pizza bread before it's gone," chaeyeon interrupts aka stopping another fight from happening by hooking her arms through yours and lisa’s* (¬､¬) hnnggg u win today jung chaeyeon

u turn to walk out of the door when u stop in your footsteps

to see the PERSON WHO CAUSE UR FOREHEAD BUMP BRENDA

YES U NAMED IT BRENDA IN THE CAR

IF SHE'S GONNA STAY ON UR FOREHEAD FOR A WHILE

AT LEAST SHE SHOULD HAVE A NAME

AND SHE'S NOT EVEN PAYING RENT

y/n's forehead:

brenda the bump: it's a free real estate

anyways

the three of u stop and stare at chan

like hullo, why u here???

chan coughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. "um, can I speak with y/n?"

chaeyeon and lisa exchange a look and shrugs, "yeah sure," they say and pushes u out of the door

and u stumbled into his arms

again, the anime shit™ working its magic

u immediately push urself off chan and clasp ur hands behind ur back while chan takes a few steps back

"so,,," you start

"oh right! uh, I'm sorry for yesterday, hitting u with the ball and everything"

"oh! it's fine, it really is!" you assure him

"no, it's not! lemme treat you to lunch, it's the least I can do," chan says

"nononono you really don't have to!" you shake ur head at him

"please!" he begs, "I hurt you and I should do something for you"

"n—"

"JUST SAY YES" lisa yells from across the hall

you whip ur head towards her direction and flip her the bird

chaeyeon mouths an apology and drags lisa away, but her laughter rings through the empty hallway

you turn back to chan who's looking at you with pleading eyes

"pleaseee" (´･ᴗ･`)

GOD HE'S ADORABLE

"fine!"

"YAY"

"but!" u wag ur finger at him, "ur only allowed to buy me chocolate milk"

"yes!!" he cheers and drags u off to the school's convenience store to buy you a bottle of chocolate milk

u thought he was gonna get u the cheap one but nO

HE GETS U THE EXPENSIVE ONE

THE ONE THAT COSTS LIKE 3 DOLLARS

FIRST OF ALL, CHOCOLATE MILK SHOULD NOT BE THAT EXPENSIVE

FUCK CAPITALISM

secondly, if u thought this was a one time thing

hAH READER YOU ARE SO SO SO WRONG

it soon becomes a regular thing and every morning, there is a chocolate milk on ur desk with a cute stick it note saying "good morning ♡´･ᴗ･`♡"

GAH UR HEART

and everyday after school, chan walks up to u and ask "hey y/n! did u get the chocolate milk?"

and he will pout if u show him the untouched bottle of milk

so u make sure that u drink it during lunch where he can see u drinking it

and it makes his insides all mushy and squishy

and that escalates to him waiting by ur locker every morning!!

he waits for u by ur locker and when u walk in

he fucking beams at you

the sun who??? u only know a bang chan

he hands u the chocolate milk and greets u

"good morning, y/n!"

and ur hearts does it usual schedule bang-chan-caused-flips

AND THAT ESCALATES TO U GOING TO HIS GAMES

"I thought u hated these things??"

"well I do but chan asked me to come so—"

(lisa, wiggling her eyebrows) "oh chan huh"

"hdshhdshutup"

so here u are again, sandwiched in between lisa and chaeyeon

o wow ur feeling a sense of deja vu

chan spots u in the crowd and runs over to u

"try not to get hit by any balls this time," he grins as he ruffles ur hair

"friendly reminder, I got hit by a ball from you," u retort and smack his hand away

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T BRING THAT UP ANYMORE"

"I CROSSED MY FINGERS BITCH"

the coach whistles for chan to get into place and u grab onto his arm, shocking both of u

o wow u got bold moves there reader

"uh, good luck out there," u smile at him

chan's heart doubles over in LOVE and smiles back at you "thanks!"

he runs back to the team, who are all looking at him with a sly look

"so when are u gonna ask y/n out?"

"i'll purposely aim the ball at ur head mingyu"

tbh u don't even know much about volleyball and all u see are balls being hit back and forth

im writing the match based on what I've seen my school's team done and it may be inaccurate pls correct me

sometimes u involuntary wince when u see chan spikes and the ball bounces off the floor bc the other team failed to block it

u pity the floor

it's the last match and both teams are tied

chaeyeon is gripping onto ur arm for dear life bc out of the three of you, she's the only who understands the most about volleyball

both teams are fairly powerful

they have a really strong setter aka lee hyunjae

boy may not look like it but he's strong!!!

the coach whistles and jaehyun serves the ball

jacob from the other team returns the ball and it goes flying across the net

in a blink of an eye, chan yells "mine!" and he spikes the ball with force* hyunjae rushes to block it but misses by a milimetre and the ball bounces off the floor

the entire gymnasium erupts into cheers

and u are pulled up from ur seat by a screaming chaeyeon

they won???

OH MY GOD THEY WON DJSJDJ

chaeyeon runs down to congratulate her boyfriend and u follow in suit

but u run straight into chan's arms to hug him

"congrats!" u squeal as he lifts u off the ground and spins u around

when he sets u down, the both of u finally realizes the position ur in and back away from each other awkwardly

"ahaha,,, congratulations!!" u tell him

chan grins at u "what can I say, ur my lucky charm"

ur cheeks start to heat up again and chan laughs

the rest of the team comes over to drag chan to the changing room, leaving u alone with lisa and chaeyeon

once the boys disappear behind the doors, the two girls turn around to look at u

"what was that???" lisa asks, referring to the hug between u and chan, as she whacks ur arm

she tryna whack the answer out of u HDHS

"STOP HITTING ME WOMAN THAT HURTS!!!"

"NOT UNTIL U TELL ME WHAT WAS THAT BETWEEN U AND BANG CHAN, Y/N"

"it was a hug! nothing more!" u say, more like ur trying to convince it was nothing more

"that was not just a hug," lisa mimics ur voice "that was one of those couples hug chaeyeon and jaehyun does!"

(chaeyeon, pipping up from the side) "she's right!"

"he totally likes you!" lisa smirks at u

 "no he does not!"

"uh yes, he does! jaehyun says so!" chaeyeon says in a matter-of-fact tone

"and you—" lisa points her index finger at u "—like him too!"

"WITH WHAT PROOF???"

"WITH THOSE HEART EYES HWANG Y/N"

before u can continue bicker and PROVE THAT U DO NOT LIKE BANG CHAN

jaehyun comes into view and says "hey y/n, chan is waiting for u outside, he has something to tell u"

[ part 2 ]

[kailedger]

for all the YOI fanfic author, p.2

Oh wow, let me tell you, I really didn't expect the previous post on Russian culture to blow up ahaha (Here’s the link to it, in case you’re wondering: https://kailedger.tumblr.com/post/621351027189350400/for-all-the-yoi-fanfic-authors) But since it did, I decided to make a part two, sort of? It's not gonna be about mistakes in fanfiction, but more about things English-speaking authors don't mention simply because they don't know they exist.

I’ll give you the general info and then maybe throw some thoughts about how specific YOI characters would relate to that info in my personal opinion.

HOLIDAYS. We have a lot of those TBH, but I'll mention the most important ones - the ones for which we have official days off. I mean, yeah, you can find a list of those in Wikipedia, if you want, but it doesn't actually tell you the reality of things. I've already mentioned the New Year in the previous post, so let’s skip it.

23rd of February is the Defender of the Fatherland Day. It's actually for those who served in the army, but the tradition is to congratulate everyone who's male. Must have something to do with the fact that on 8th of March we have an International Women's Day, when we congratulate everyone who's female. Doesn't really make sense to me, since, you know, there are women in the army too. And a lot of men haven't served a day in their life, what the hell do I have to thank them for? (Here's an example: my dad used to be in the navy, submarine's captain actually, and every year when I congratulate him, he says something along the lines of "Why? There was no war conflict when I served". That's him being humble, but still, the point is there).

ANYWAY! We're not very big on celebrations of these two holidays, most of the time you just give a call to your respective male/female friends and relatives, give flowers to the ladies and just... enjoy your day off?

 Next one is the May holidays. Those are usually on the 1-3 of May, the official name (as Wiki states) is "The Day of Spring and Labour". Honestly, no one uses it lol We just say "the first May holidays" (since we also have the second, that's how much we don't wanna work in May; kinda ironic the holiday is called "the day of labour").

You don't congratulate anyone on this day, usually you just have a couple of days off. If we're lucky, the weather would be nice and then people go to the countryside to have a (oh my god, this is gonna be a mouthful) SHASHLYKI. We'll get back to this thing, and you know why? Since if you want someone to embrace the real Russian culture, you would make them go to shashlyki, trust me.

 The second May holiday is the Victory Day, and it's kinda... controversial in a way. It is a big celebration for the victory in World War II. Soviet Union suffered a lot during the war with the Nazi Germany, St. Petersburg was under the siege for more than TWO YEARS. And this holiday is both somber and happy since thanks to our ancestors we survived this hell and are now able to live in peace. The celebration is pretty big on official levels - there are military parades everywhere, concerts, people thank the war veterans (there are precious few of them left by now). When I was still in school, they made us visit those parades every year. Guess what? I've never been to a single parade since I graduated. It's not that I don't value the heroism of people who fought in WWII, it's that I think our government uses this holiday to brag how great we are (or, rather, THEY are), 'cause they haven't done anything worth of praise since 1945, which is... depressing, when you think of it. The ridiculous thing is the parade was canceled this year due to coronavirus, but GUESS WHAT? They've used BILLIONS OF DOLLARS to still have it on 24th of June. While the rate of people getting sick is still abnormally high. All because on the 1st of July we're having a vote on the constitution amendments and our government needs an extra boost in patriotism from our people (should I mention some of the amendments are homophobic? Yeah, it sucks).

Well... that was a rant completely offtopic lol. But, you know, this is the opinion of the most people below the age of 35. Also a huge problem here in Russia. Anyway, as I was saying. Used to be a really great holiday where we thanked the veterans and were reminded of the price they paid. Now it's just a sad excuse for the government to waste money sigh

So, a day off. Some fireworks, a hell lot of traffic problems due to parades. Not much else, if you're from the younger generation.

 Same thing goes to the 12th of June. Officially a "Russia Day", but since up until the point I graduated from the uni I had summer holidays, I barely even acknowledged the holiday, cause I didn't have to study/work anyway. So like... I lived my whole life here in Russia, and I have no idea why we celebrate this holiday on the 12th of June. I can google it right now, but that kind of would contradict my point here lol.

The last one is on the 3-4 of November. I think it's called something like "Unity Day", but, again, no idea why. Most of the time we just call it "the November holidays" or even "fall holidays". Honestly, most of the time we just care about the days off, especially if the holiday is supposed to be "patriotic". (When I put it like this, we kinda sound like assholes. Probably cause we are lol).

Birthdays mainly depend on the specific person. I used to love my birthdays and it was a big holiday for me when I was a kid, but then I turned 18 and it kinda lost its charm. You still celebrate it, especially if the date is something like 30, 35, 40, 45 and so on. But it gets less and less exciting over the years. I gather my friends at home and just have drinks, my fiance goes to a bar on his birthday. Not very... celebratory, ya know?

So. YOI characters. ALL OF THEM would definitely celebrate New Year. They would probably send some congratulations on 23rd of February and 8th of March. It you think of the Russian rinkmates as friends, they can go the countryside together on the first May holidays, but not actually do anything on the Victory Day (Yakov may attend the parade since he’s from the older generation). Nothing specific to do on 12th of June or November holidays, most likely the rink would be closed, so, like, just a day off.

  And now to the important stuff. SHASHLYKI. Oh my god guys, I’m so excited, cause this is one of those things that is AWESOME in Russian culture. And also makes most of the foreigners really confused. But it has some similarities with the American barbeque gatherings, I think.

First of all, many of us live in big cities (like I live in St. Petersburg for example), but we still have countryside houses. Sometimes it’s where our grandparents live, sometimes we buy it specifically. The thing is – we usually go to these places we call “dacha” to have some rest from the noise of the big city and enjoy the fresh air. Usually dachas have gardens, my mom is crazy about all this greenery stuff (I personally don’t see what’s the big deal with taking care of the plants, but I was told it comes with age ;D).

And to enjoy the experience even more we have shashlyki. It’s usually grilled meat (chicken, pork, whichever you prefer) and vegetables, but the process is what makes it really fun. Most families have their own recipes for marinated meat, you prepare it beforehand. Then, on the day, you make some snacks (salted pickles and fresh vegetables come to my mind immediately; pickles are like a must-have, it’s almost an obligatory food since it goes really well with vodka lol). While some of the people sit around the table, have drinks and catch up, there’s usually one person responsible for grilling meat. And this process is very important – it’s gotta be cooked on the brazier with actual flame (or, more like, coals). You put pieces of meat on a metallic skewer and then grill it (I think there’s the word “kebab”, but we usually use it to describe an entirely different meal, so, shashlyk it is). And let me tell you – having a freshly grilled shashlyk with some vegetables and a drink like wine (or vodka if you’re into it) is the best feeling in the world.

So you’re enjoying the fresh air, really tasty meal, have some drinks with family or/and friends. A pretty common thing (not for everyone, but I personally love it) is having someone play the guitar and sing songs around the campfire. The songs we sing are usually either stupid or old, and you would never just casually listen to those on your own, but when the time comes and you sit with the guitar, somehow EVERYONE knows the lyrics. The point is to have fun, not make a concert out of it :)

I actually think that Victor and the rest of the gang would at least try to give Yuuri (and other non-Russians, who knows) this kind of experience. I also headcanon someone (Otabek or maybe Victor himself) knowing how to play the guitar. But I wouldn’t trust Victor with the grilling, honestly, it requires a lot of attention, and… well… you all know what Victor is like ;D

  And since we’re on the topic of music, let’s discuss it. Me and a dear friend of mine @clarie-foster, who also happens to be both Russian and a YOI fan, had a lot of headcanons on this.

What you need to know, is when it comes to music, here in Russia we’re pretty flexible. The popular music is the one you can here everywhere, it’s on European and American charts, like, I dunno, Beyonce, Ed Sheeran, Gaga etc. There’s Russian pop-music and, honestly, it sucks lol. Most of the time I listen to it cause it’s dumb and catchy. There are some good artists, of course, I can throw you a couple of name bands like “Ночные Снайперы”, “Сплин”, “Би-2”, but the songs are in Russian, and although the lyrics are pretty damn good, they’re kinda hard to understand if you don’t know the language (I mean, just reading the translation won’t give you the whole experience). And those bands are… depressing? In a way? Not that the songs are extremely dark or something, but you kind of listen to those in a melancholic mood. Me and one of my best friends used to go out on the balcony in summer, sit wrapped in a blanket and listen to those songs. Great experience, if a little sad.

BUT. There’s the old pop-music. We have some of those artists, who were really popular when my parents were young and somehow still popular these days. Their music is honestly average – the tunes might be catchy, the lyrics are mediocre at best, but… when you have a little bit to drink, you get in that mood, where you start singing those old pop-songs. And it’s not like listening to ABBA or, I don’t know, A-ha, since those are classic and still good these days. Russian pop-songs SUCK, they’re horrible, but somehow that is the best kind of music when you’re drunk.

I personally think Victor is one of those people who would totally jam to the old Russian pop. It’s funny, since most of it is from female singers (There’s literally a song from a Russian singer Irina Allegrova called “Go crazy, wild empress”, no kidding). I just can picture him so clearly being drunk and singing those old songs with abandon lol.

Mila would probably join him while laughing hysterically. Georgi too, since he’s a drama queen. And Yuri would make all kinds of disgusted faces.

 Two facts which I have never seen being mentioned in fanfiction, which is really weird. So Victor lives in St. Petersburg, as we all saw from those last scenes in the anime (in the background you can see actual places from St. P like our sports stadium). And St. Petersburg is mostly known for two things: bridges and white nights.

WHITE NIGHTS OH MY GOD. I don’t want to go to deep into the details since I don’t really understand the nature of this thing (something to do with sun not really going down? I dunno), but in summer, especially in June and July it basically doesn’t get dark in St. Petersburg. I mean, the sun does go down, you can see the sunset and everything, but the sky stays like… white-grey, almost as though it’s midday, just cloudy. Like we’re in the middle of white nights right now, and the darkest hour is around 1 am, but even then it doesn’t really get dark at all. A lot of people from other cities and countries get confused by it, like, there was this time when Stephen Colbert was a guest on a Russian talk-show and he had a hilarious convo with the host. It was something like this: “So I’ve been in St. Petersburg for one day. It has lasted for 46 hours. Please tell me if the sun will ever go down, ‘cause I’m going crazy”.

For us common people white nights can get really annoying, if your curtains are not black-out, you can have a hard time falling asleep (since, you know, it’s too freaking bright outside). But it’s actually really great for late-night walks and is considered really romantic.

And, speaking of romantic, the bridges! What’s so special about those, you’d think. So St. Petersburg is built on the river Neva – it’s like really big, has a lot of tributaries and distributaries and flows through the whole city. Hence why we have tons of bridges.

And those bridges are drawing bridges, meaning they are separated in the middle by a special mechanism and are being lifted in the air so that the trade ships can pass underneath them. The most impressive one is the Palace Bridge – it’s one of the main sightseeing spots in the city. For most tourists it’s obligatory to visit St. Petersburg and see the drawing of the Palace Bridge. It happens at night, around the time of 1 am or 2 am. It’s really pretty, cause there are lights everywhere, you can see the ships passing by and the view of this huge structure being lifted in the air is really magnificent. Combine it with the white nights and you’ll have one of the most romantic dates you can have here in Russia.

(On the more realistic and depressing note: despite the drawing of the bridges being really beautiful, it’s SUCH a pain in the ass for the regular people. Like, because of the drawing you can’t really get from one side of the city to another. For example, I live in the northern part and if for some reason I couldn’t get to it from the center of the city before the drawing of the bridges, I’m stuck till like 4 or 5 am. Subway only opens at 6 am, and although we have a couple of bridges which never draw, those are on the outskirts of the city, so taking an uber and driving there would cost you a lot of money and also would take like and extra hour or so. Thankfully, the drawing of the bridges lasts only from April to October-November, while the ship navigation on the Neva river is possible).

Last, but not least, SOCIAL MEDIA.

So, like, Instagram is pretty popular in Russia and so is Twitter. But what people rarely mention is our own social media site – Vkontakte (www.vk.com, if you’re interested). It started to become popular in like… 2008, I think? Basically it used to be and knock-off from Facebook, even the color scheme is the same. It became more and more popular over the years, since Facebook was never really a thing in Russia (like, I had a profile there, but I’ve never used it). Now it’s like… if you don’t have a VK profile, it’s super weird lol. I communicate with most of my friends through it, since it has a lot of really cool features: chats, group chats, communities, music, videos and photos. It’s gotten so big that VK even hosts its own music festival each year with a lot of popular Russian artists.

Victor is a social butterfly, so he would definitely have a VK profile. So would Mila, Yuri and Georgi, I personally think most of their communication would be through it. Maybe they would even force Yuuri to create a profile, but he’s not really into social media much, so he wouldn’t really use it.

 I think that’s it for now. Like I said, if you have any questions, feel free to ask, I would be happy to answer! ;)

[bigfrozenfan]

Frozen III plot / fanfic - part 4

The Secret of the Northuldra

The previous three parts you can find here: part one, part two, additional thoughts, part three.

I do have now a permanent beta-reader for my translation, writing style, possible logical errors and for discussions about my ideas. 

Thanks Anon (i'm in private contact with him) for your support and for being such a huge fan of my fanfiction!

I hope you like this next part of my fanfic. Enjoy.

It has existed for so long. So long that, over the eons, it saw even the stars move and how the world was formed. Time passed, and it was content. It was at one with this world. Then life arose and at some point this began to develop its own consciousness. For a long time everything was good and remained in balance. But this did not stay that way for long and humans began to multiply and slowly but surely change this balance. It sensed this in advance and withdrew to a place high up in the north of the world. This place was not chosen by chance, but it did not look for this place either. That happened just like that. With the help of the elements it was in contact with every place in the world. It observed and learned, collected everything worth knowing and stored the memories of everything that existed. It was a river of knowledge and at some point it decided to intervene.

Humans felt that there was something at this site. Something special. Some of them, however, were more receptive than others and they went to this place because the river attracted them irresistibly. It chose these humans and made them serve itself, influenced them and sent them dreams. It gave them knowledge and wisdom and made sure that everything remained in balance.

As the centuries passed and the river froze, it finally became a glacier as the world changed. The place slowly fell into oblivion and eventually became a legend. But it was still there, and at some point decided to give a living form to four elements and to choose only one of these receptive humans in his short life time to control them all. It gave him a little of its own power for this task and thus ensured that the balance was maintained.

Generations passed, humans someday gave the glacier a name and four large monoliths were made, showing the symbols of the four elements. They had seen them glowing in the sky above the glacier more than once. The family of the One, called the Fifth who was admired and respected by all, made a scarf to pass on the legend to their descendants in a vivid way. It showed just these four symbols, grouped around a central fifth spirit, the symbol of a bridge between nature and mankind.

For some time all stayed that way and man and nature lived in harmony, but humans were the ones who finally changed things. There was a war between two peoples and it had to intervene once again. But in this turmoil something happened and remained undiscovered. Destiny took its course decades later when it, which they called Ahtohallan, finally realized his mistake.

Envy arose and desire for this power they called magic and a human took advantage of Ahtohallan's innocence. One human, in whom Ahtohallan had put too much faith in.

A mistake that in time would cost Ahtohallan dearly. But by then it was already too late.

***

They had given the horses the spurs and rode as fast as they could. They changed the pace from time to time from gallop to fast trot and back again to spare the animals. But at some point the sun was already very high and the heat affected humans and animals alike.

Mattias let his horse recede into the walk and Halima did the same. He patted the horse’s neck and looked over to Halima. “We have already done a good bit more than half of the distance and I think we are well in time. We should be there shortly after sunset. Would you like something to eat?” He reached into one of the saddlebags and pulled out an apple, which he held out to her.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile and accepted it. Then she took a hearty bite. “That feels good now,” she muttered with a full mouth shortly afterwards.

He grinned at her and pulled the leather water bag from the pommel, took a deep swallow and then hung it back. “When we are in Arendelle and I have sorted everything out, we could take the time to have dinner together. Shall we go again to that nice tavern up near the mill? Like last time?”

She nodded, “That would be genuinely nice, the food there is really good and afterwards we could go for a walk and look down from the hill onto the fjord. The weather is perfect, and we have almost a full moon.”

“Good idea. Let us do that.” He thought it did not really make sense for Halima to ride back with him in the morning. It would be better if she stayed at home, and they would see each other again the next day, when they had taken Elsa to the castle and the doctors were looking after her. There would be nothing more he could do, and they would have plenty of time for themselves. “Darling, I think I’d better ride back alone with the men and the wagon in the morning, and you stay in Arendelle until I return the day after tomorrow. All this riding is too tiring for you, you’d better rest.”

“Yes, maybe you’re right, I’ll wait for you and then have some time to do some errands,” she said and smiled over to him.

They rode comfortably in silence for some time, enjoying the beautiful landscape that slowly passed by until Mattias’ face slowly darkened and he finally expressed the thoughts that had been running through his mind since they left this morning. “I can’t get the whole thing into my head, you know? I just do not understand it. Not that I understand magic, but I’ve been with the Spirits there in the forest for decades. They didn’t hurt us and they left us in peace. They always assisted the Northuldra. And now this.”

“Apart from the fact that they held you captive,” Halima objected. “You have been away from me for so long, my love, and I have missed you terribly.”

He looked at her and his face brightened again. “I missed you, too, and it somehow kept me alive all this time. I never gave up hope of seeing you again one day and living with you in Arendelle. But year after year went by and…I mean-” he raised his arms helplessly and finally admitted “You’re right. When Queen Anna…well I mean before she was queen…when one day she suddenly appeared with Elsa in the woods in the middle of us and we…I talked to her that evening and I asked her if you were still over at Hudson’s Hearth and-” he faltered and his eyes became damp. “She said yes, you are, and then I asked her if you were… married.”

It took a moment for Halima to process what he had said and replied quietly “There has never been anyone else, Mattias. Only you.” She paused for a moment and then added, “We could have had children, Mattias.”

He looked at her sadly. Then finally he nodded and sighed, “I’m so sorry. I honestly imagined it so often. You and me in a cozy little cottage in Arendelle with a rattle band of feisty little kids.”

Halima said nothing about it. They both knew it was too late for her to have children at that age. They rode on in silence, both lost in thought. Then suddenly, in a low voice, she said, “We could adopt a child.” There was a short pause and Mattias didn’t know how to react to this suggestion. He raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. “What do you think? There are some very nice children at the orphanage in Arendelle who are eager to be welcomed into a good family.”

“You’ve been there?”

“I have nothing else to do and I help out there from time to time. Every Friday afternoon I also tell stories to the little ones there. They love it. Don’t you ever have wondered why I’m never home that day?”

Mattias looked embarrassed and shrugged his shoulders. “I must admit I’ve never thought about it. During the week I have my duties at the castle, as you know now that Queen Anna has made me a general.”

Halima shook her head rebuking and sighed, “You are taking your new duties far too seriously. We are at peace, so what’s there much to talk about?”

Mattias couldn’t think of anything to say. She was right… as always. He nodded and then said “Let’s go there next week together. In my time, the orphanage hadn’t been around very long.”

“Yes, much had changed for the better since King Agnarr and Queen Iduna.” Halima put on a dreamy look.

“You knew them personally?”

“Well, I had no direct contact with the Majesties themselves. But I often saw them in Arendelle, even at the time when they were not yet married to each other. But I got to know Anna well about three years ago, she always is eager to meet and talk with people, she knows almost everyone by name.” She looked at him and asked, “Did you know Iduna was once at this orphanage?”

Mattias shook his head. “Why have we never talked about any of this before? It’s been so many months now since I came back alive from this forest. There is so much to tell. We must change that soon.”

“Nice of you to finally notice.” she rebuked and they looked at each other. Then they both had to laugh about it and he rode a little closer to her horse. He took her hand and looked deep into her eyes, “I love you, Halima. Now at last I can ask you what I wanted to ask you even then and only never dared to. Will you be my wife?”

Halima tore open her mouth and eyes and stared at him. Her heart pounded wildly as she nodded slowly but surely and answered with a broad smile, “Yes, Mattias, my love. I do.”

Mattias couldn’t believe it and a tear ran down his cheek as he bent over and kissed her.

They rode close together like this for quite a while, hand in hand, with a happy smile on their faces.

***

“Yelana, Yelana… something’s happened!”

One of the Northuldra men ran excitedly towards the leader. When he reached her, he stopped in front of her, completely out of breath and rested his hands on his knees, exhausted. Yelana looked at him in a slightly bewildered way and raised an eyebrow. “Calm down, Joná. What’s so important that you run around the village like a madman, shouting loudly and scaring everyone here?”

The man took a deep breath and started talking with his eyes wide open “I was out fishing and I thought to myself, they’ve got a good bite today. Then I looked over the calm waters of the Dark Sea and thought d���”.

Yelana raised her hand and rolled her eyes, “Get to the point, please. You don’t have to tell me about the weather, I can see for myself that today it is almost windless and very warm.”

“Yes… of course, once I start talking then-” Yelana looked at him with a penetrating look. “Excuse me…um…I was rowing towards Ahtohallan and I was already close when I saw something very disturbing. It…”

Yelana interrupted him again. “What were you doing so far out there? It’s forbidden, you know that.”

“Well, I figured since the spirits are gone and all, I’d take a look and…and try to find out something.”

Yelana shook her head, “So, you thought you could find out something about it. You.”

Joná looked at her sheepishly. “I…”

“Well, go on. I’m curious what you think you saw that was so disturbing,” she said somewhat sarcastically and tilted her head a little to one side.

“Ahtohallan is hidden behind a thick wall of fog, just like the one that has kept us locked up here all these years.”

Yelana looked at him at first in disbelief, then lowered her eyes broodingly. After a few moments, she took him by the shoulder and turned him away from the others, who were now looking curiously over at them. Then she whispered to him, “You won’t tell anyone here a word about this, do you hear me? That will remain between us for the time being. This is a serious matter and I first, must think carefully about it. You will also not tell anyone that you were out this far today. If anyone asks you, you tell them something about your catch, something about a big chunk of fish that almost pulled you over the edge of the boat, or something like that. You know what I mean?”

Joná nodded slowly as he stared at her, but couldn’t get another word out.

“Good. Now go back to work and don’t worry. I’m sure it’s half as bad as it looks.” Yelana directed him gently towards the beach and watched him thoughtfully as he walked away.

“This can’t be”, she whispered, lost in thought. Finally, she turned around and slowly walked towards her kota.

***

To be continued...

Remark: I have wondered who or what Ahtohallan is since I first saw Frozen II. Except that it is the source of magic from where Elsa got her powers, is master of the four spirits and cares about the balance of nature, we know nothing about "this being", if it is one. I thought it was about time to describe Ahtohallan from my point of view and I hope you enjoyed my thought process. Since I don't know whether it has a male or female (more likely) nature I have called the being "it". Background of the idea also was to connect Ahtohallan with Gaya, the Mother Earth, as she was called in Final Fantasy. Omnipotent and vulnerable at the same time. It is always the people who harm nature and who are hungry for power, who wage wars and spread without regard for losses. I don't know what WDAS was thinking when they designed Ahtohallan and its purpose, but maybe it was also an approach of Disney to show a connection, between the Spirits and Ahtohallan and a fifth spirit that forms a bridge between these two "worlds", man and nature. The introduction of the Northuldra with the background of a real people, the Sami, certainly had a deeper meaning in this context, especially if you know something about the history and way of life of this indigenous people. The dam is also directly related here.

And...I've now worked out most of the plot of my story.  What I mean to say is that I now know exactly what is going to happen and I've already written the last section of the last chapter. But I can't tell you how many parts I still have to write before I get there.

[dailyaudiobible]

06/04/2020 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 22:1-23:23, Acts 2:1-47, Psalms 122:1-9, Proverbs 16:19-20

Today is the 4th day of June welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is great to be here with you today. You feeling moved into this new month yet? I’m trying to get there. I just keep thinking it's May, but it's not. It's the 4th day of June and it is a wonderful thing to be able to come around the Global campfire, day or night. No matter what time it is, it’s always burning, we’re never alone here. There's always somebody else here listening as well. In fact, lots of somebodies are always listening as well. We can never be alone at the Daily Audio Bible. Whenever where listening somebody else is too, always, whenever it is. So, yesterday we stepped into some new territory. We finished the Gospels day before yesterday, and we moved into the book of Acts yesterday. And we talked about that so we’re gonna continue that journey, but this is the journey…this is the story of what came next after Jesus resurrection. So, we will get to that soon enough. But first we’ll go into our Old Testament portion today, which leads us back into the book of second Samuel and the story of King David. And we really only have two or three days left in second Samuel. So, we’re making progress and we should be. We’re in the 6th month of the year so we should be making progress. And let's make some progress. Let’s take the next step forward. Second Samuel chapter 22 verse 1 through 23 verse 23.

Commentary:

Okay. So, let’s just kind of catch ourselves up to where we are in the stories that we’re moving through in the Scriptures. In second Samuel, obviously, we’ve…we've been kind of working to the story of David's life and his reign, while being able to observe pretty up close and personal his strengths and weaknesses. And we can kind of tell that the book of second Samuel is drawing to a close because it's kind of inserting all these different things, like these…that these are the last words, like the last songs of David. These are David's elite warriors. So, we’re kind of getting all these lists and closing down that story. We haven't got to it yet, but as a we’re reading the lists of the warriors and all the different things that they did we’re going to find the name in…in this list in the Bible of the elite warriors of David and that person's name is Uriah, Uriah the Hittite. This is the man that David had killed in battle so that he could cover up the fact that he had gotten Uriah's wife Bathsheba pregnant.

Then in the book of Acts today we see the coming of the Holy Spirit with the sound of a mighty wind, and what appears to be tongues of fire or flames of fire. And that famous, a very, very famous story, but this is actually the birth of the church as we know it. All of the people are speaking in these languages that foreigners who are in Jerusalem understand. Their confused about it and Peter steps forward to explain and he gives a message that we read today this kind of first almost evangelistic sermon. That’s probably not quite right, but Peter’s talking to the crowd and telling them about Jesus and their listening, because of the effects of the Holy Spirit, these languages that the people are hearing. And, so, Peter's unpacking the message of Jesus and his ministry and who he was and that he was killed and…and who he is. And this cuts them to the heart. And, so, they want to know what they're supposed to do. And, so, Peter explains, “all of you must turn to God and change the way you think and act, which is essentially to say, repent. Repent - change the way you think and act. That's what repentance is. “And each of you must be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins will be forgiven. Then you will receive the Holy Spirit as a gift.” So, this is all part of his message. According to the book of Acts, 3000 people, 3000 people were added to the followers of Jesus Christ that day. So, this is the flashpoint. This is sort of the birth of the church as we know it. And 3000 people, that's been an intriguing thing. Like where do you baptize 3000 people. And really the only candidate would be the temple, like would be where the ritual baths are large and lots of people are ritually cleansing themselves continually to go into the temple. And some of those Mikvah, some of those ritual baths, they still exist in the old city. So, this is the beginning of the church after Jesus ascended.

And we learned also from the book of Acts today just how they were living. They were living altogether kind of single-mindedly with purpose, caring for one another, meeting at each other's houses and sharing meals together. And according to the book of Acts, at this point there’s sort of this aura around these people. The way the Bible describes it is, “a feeling of fear came over everyone as amazing things and miraculous signs happened through the apostles.” So, there’s sort of this air of respect, curiosity, and this awareness that something mystical seems to be happening. Of course, as we continue our journey through the New Testament, we’ll find out that that's not how it stays. The church for sure goes through some really trying times but right here at the flashpoint we see that the people are gathering together, and every day new people are coming in.

Then in the Proverbs we are told, “whoever gives attention to the Lord's word prospers. And blessed is the person who trusts the Lord.” We have talked about Proverbs many times on our journey so far this year and we have understood that this is wisdom speaking to us. And in so many cases it's like what we learn is that wisdom isn't complicated, wisdom is simple. It's just hard to be aware and pay attention and have self-control enough to obey it. “But whoever gives attention to the Lord's word prospers. And blessed is the person who trusts the Lord.” May we live into that this very day.

And then in the book of Psalms today we were told to pray for the peace of Jerusalem.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for where it's leading us even as we are transitioning in the Old Testament and moving into the book of…the book of Acts in the New Testament. So, we’re kind of transitioning. And we thank You because we are constantly transitioning too. And we thank You that Your word in our lives each and everyday changes things. And we’re told today in the Psalms to pray for the peace of Jerusalem. So, Father we pray for the peace of Jerusalem. May those who love You prosper. May there be peace inside Your walls and prosperity in Your palaces. For the sake of my relatives and friends let me say, may it go well for You. For the sake of the house of the Lord our God, I will seek what is good for You. We pray these things in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

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And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi I’m a first time caller my name is Galena and I want to pray for the young man who called who was in the dark place and his marriage was falling apart and his mother was on the deathbed. Lord I want to lift up this Young man to You and give them into Your hands. Would You comfort him Lord? Would You pour Your grace upon him? Would You give him strength to go through this season of his life Lord and help him see how much You love him Lord. Send him the Angels Lord all around him. Surround him Lord with Your heavenly angels and earthly angels to help them through this time Father, to pray for him, to listen to him, to give him love. And Lord remind him how much love he has so he will spend the days with his mother Lord feeling blessed and he will continue Lord growing in his knowledge of You.

Hi it’s Sherry from Kansas and I’m about to say something I’ll probably be embarrassed about later but I just want to tell you that I just finished mopping the kitchen and bathroom floors and I managed to dust and vacuum. And you don’t know what that means to me because I have not either physically or emotionally been able to do this for quite some time. And I know that whenever I accomplish something like this, like even just taking a shower is a huge thing for me then I give glory to God because I know that it is by His grace and His strength that I am able to accomplish anything, even such seemingly small things is doing a little cleaning. So, I just want to publicly right now thank God for all that He does and all that He gives and how He takes care of us even in the small things and that without Him…without Him there’s nothing worth accomplishing. Without Him there is there is no life, no breath, no…no joy, no nothing to be thankful for. So, thank You most gracious and loving heavenly Father for hearing our prayers and for giving us what we need of for each day, that we go from strength to strength by Your will and by Your love. Thank you, Father.

Aloha dad family this is Robin from Hawaii. Just as Kristi from Kentucky called in today talking about her heart being so burdened, mine too. Our country and our world’s still recovering from COVID and now we have such conflict in our United States due to man’s sinful heart. Oh God, forgive us. May the church be the light in the darkness. God may they know we are Christians by our love for one another and for all mankind. Lord help us as individuals to make an impact. And God equip our pastors and our leaders to guide us and bring about transformation in our country and in the world. God, I pray that you would anoint another Billy Graham, another Martin Luther King to speak to the hearts and minds of your people. God may your Spirit reign in the United States and in the whole world and may we see revival. In Jesus’ name I pray. Love you DABbers. Aloha Kaia Coua - God is love.

On this Pentecost Sunday, this is Stephanie Avery, a long-time listener from Rwanda days. I have a prayer for these troubling times here in the United States. Father God I come in Your son Jesus name asking You to forgive us of all our wicked ways. I pray, Holy Spirit just come afresh on us to break down the walls of fear, hate, and __ . Holy Spirit bring Your love, Your righteousness and Your justice. Let us who are believers speak boldly of You the son of the living God and the soon coming King. Jesus… Jesus You said that we will have trouble but take heart You have overcome the world and we are victorious in Jesus’ name. Shalom. Stephanie from North Carolina.

Good morning DAB family this is Laura from Georgia A.K.A. walking in the wilderness. Today is June the 1st and I want to say thank you to Abby who called in. Thank you for your empathy and thank you for your sympathy for black America. This journey is…is…hasn’t been easy for us and no matter how we protest, whether it be silently, whether it be calmly… and then when we don’t know what else to do unfortunately it erupts into heated…and violent at times. But we’re tired. We’re so tired. But I’m so thankful when I hear people like Abby who realize that it’s not the same for us as it is for you. Just thank you. And I know that God is bigger than any situation and that is who I’m drawing on. I’m raising two sons who are now adults and I had to teach them so many things, especially when they come across the police. And every day when they travel to a different place, I’m always saying I need to hear from you when you make it to your destination. So, thank you Abby and for all those who are praying and show empathy and sympathy and understand. And thank you DAB family. Blessings. Peace.

Today is June 1st and this is Julie from Texas and I wanted to read you guys something that I God has just shown me as of yesterday being Pentecost Sunday and I wrote this. It is never in my life have I ever had such a clear and burning desire to be the daughter, the child that You Father have called me to be flowing with Your authority and power that would allow me to do as Jesus did. Jesus You said now go and do the same. And that is exactly what I am going to do. The kingdom of God is here in and among us and in obedience and with the authority that You authorized. I will do as You did Jesus. You healed the sick, You raised the dead, You cast out demons and most of all You loved perfectly. You commanded it. So, it should be obvious obedience in which I follow Your order and share the good news of the kingdom of God. Have Your way in me, I’m ready.

Good morning today is June 1st and I am a first-time caller. This is Lady and I am a very recent Daily Audio Bible listener. First of all, I’ve been blessed but this morning I wanted to just call to say thank you Abby. You blessed me, literally brought me to tears because I felt your heart. And, so again I just want to say thank you.

[dfroza]

there’s so many fake things in this world.

so many false and deceptive paths to lead the heart away from its True nature that is only found in our Creator.

but there is nothing false in Heaven as it is impossible for Love to lie.

and have you ever wanted to run away from the insanity of this world and its fear? there is such a place that is promised to us, even a “secret elopement” to come.

and so we hold this pure hope as a treasure in the rebirth of the heart (inside, Anew) as we live out our lives here in a physical and temporal body.

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 4th chapter of the Letter of First Thessalonians:

And now, beloved brothers and sisters, since you have been mentored by us with respect to living for God and pleasing him, I appeal to you in the name of the Lord Jesus with this request: keep faithfully growing through our teachings even more and more. For you already know the instructions we’ve shared with you through the Lord Jesus.

God’s will is for you to be set apart for him in holiness and that you keep yourselves unpolluted from sexual defilement. Yes, each of you must guard your sexual purity with holiness and dignity, not yielding to lustful passions like those who don’t know God. Never take selfish advantage of a brother or sister in this matter, for we’ve already told you and solemnly warned you that the Lord is the avenger in all these things. For God’s call on our lives is not to a life of compromise and perversion but to a life surrounded in holiness. Therefore, whoever rejects this instruction isn’t rejecting human authority but God himself, who gives us his precious gift—his Spirit of holiness.

There’s no need for anyone to say much to you about loving your fellow believers, for God is continually teaching you to unselfishly love one another. Indeed, your love is what you’re known for throughout Macedonia. We urge you, beloved ones, to let this unselfish love increase and flow through you more and more. Aspire to lead a calm and peaceful life as you mind your own business and earn your living, just as we’ve taught you. By doing this you will live an honorable life, influencing others and commanding respect of even the unbelievers. Then you’ll be in need of nothing and not dependent upon others.

Beloved brothers and sisters, we want you to be quite certain about the truth concerning those who have passed away, so that you won’t be overwhelmed with grief like many others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, we also believe that God will bring with Jesus those who died while believing in him. This is the word of the Lord: we who are alive in him and remain until the Lord appears will by no means have an advantage over those who have already died, for both will rise together.

For the Lord himself will appear with the declaration of victory, the shout of an archangel, and the trumpet blast of God. He will descend from the heavenly realm and command those who are dead in Christ to rise first. Then we who are alive will join them, transported together in clouds to have an encounter with the Lord in the air, and we will be forever joined with the Lord. So encourage one another with these truths.

The Letter of First Thessalonians, Chapter 4 (The Passion Translation)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 22nd chapter of the book of Jeremiah that warns against injustice:

Eternal One (to Jeremiah): Go down to the palace of the king of Judah and say to him, “Hear the word of the Eternal. Listen, O king of Judah, who sits on David’s throne. Listen, you advisors of the king. Listen, you people who walk through these city gates. This is what the Eternal has to say: ‘Do what is just and right. Rescue those poor ones being robbed by the extortionists. Protect the outsiders, orphans, and widows in your land from any oppression, for they have no one. Stop the violence and the shedding of innocent blood in this place. If you do what I say, there will always be a king on the throne in Jerusalem. The descendants of David will ride through these gates leading a great processional of chariots and horses, of advisors and subjects. But if you refuse My words of warning, I swear by My name and all that I am that this palace of yours will be laid to waste.’”

This is what the Eternal says concerning the king of Judah and his household.

Eternal One: You are as precious to Me as the lush forests of Gilead;

you are like the cedars on the summit of Lebanon.

But I swear I will make you into a wilderness—stripped of trees—

with cities that lie empty and lifeless.

I will unleash destroyers against you—

ruthless men with fearful weapons.

They will cut down your best trees

and throw them on the fire.

When other nations pass by the ruins of Jerusalem, they will ask each other, “Why did the Eternal destroy this great city?” The answer they will hear is the one you already know: “Because these people violated the covenant they had made with the Eternal their God by worshiping and serving other gods.”

Do not cry for the one who is dead; do not mourn for him.

Cry instead for the living one going into exile

For he will not come back again,

he will never see his home again.

This is a word of the Eternal for Shallum (son of Josiah), who succeeded his father as king of Judah and went from this place into exile:

Eternal One: He will never return, and he will die in that land of captivity, never to see this place again.

Woe to the one who builds his palace on the proceeds of unrighteousness,

who adds upper rooms on the gains of injustice,

Who forces his own people to labor for nothing,

who refuses to pay them for all their hard work.

He thinks to himself, “I will build a huge palace

with a large second story and many windows.

I will panel the walls with the best cedar

and paint it red to impress everyone.”

Do you become king because you have more cedar than another?

Your father, so different from you, had plenty to eat, plenty to drink.

Didn’t he live his life as a righteous and fair man?

And look how well he did.

He stood up for the poor and needy;

then things went well for him and the people.

Isn’t this what it means to know Me?

But you are so different: your eyes are focused and your heart is set

on one goal: deceitful personal gain.

You make the innocent pay with their blood;

you violently oppress them and take what is not yours.

So this is what the Eternal says

regarding Jehoiakim (son of Josiah), king of Judah:

Eternal One: Upon his death, no one in his family will weep and say,

“Oh my brother, oh my sister—our loved one is gone.”

Nor will any of his subjects weep and say,

“Our leader is gone; our great king is gone.”

No, he will be buried like a dead donkey—his body dragged away

and dumped outside Jerusalem’s gates in the trash heap.

(to Jerusalem) Go to the mountains of Lebanon and cry out.

Run to Bashan and the peaks of Abarim, and cry out loudly

Because all of your lovers have been destroyed.

I warned you when things were going well,

but you said to Me, “I will not listen.”

You have treated Me this way since the days of your youth;

you have never listened to My voice.

All your shepherds will be driven away by the wind,

and your lovers will be led into captivity.

In that moment, you will be covered with shame,

humiliated because of your evil ways.

You who live in Lebanon,

safe and nestled among the cedars—

How you will cry in anguish when the judgment comes,

like the anguish and pain of a woman giving birth.

As surely as I live, I declare the following about Coniah (son of Jehoiakim), king of Judah: Even though you were a signet ring on My right hand, I have torn you away. I will drop you into the hands of those who want you dead, those you fear—Nebuchadnezzar (king of Babylon) and his Chaldean army. I will cast you and your mother into another country, where you were not born. It will be there, in that foreign land, where you will die. Though they will long to come back to this land you call home, they will never return.

Is this man, Coniah, a broken and worthless pot?

Is he like something tossed on the garbage heap that no one wants?

Why are he and his children being thrown out—

no, hurled out into a foreign land?

O land, land, land!

You must hear the word of the Eternal!

Eternal One: Write in the record that this man is childless and disgraced.

As long as he lives, none of his children will succeed him

And sit on the throne of David

and rule over Judah again.

The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 22 (The Voice)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for Saturday, September 4 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons that looks at the True and pure hope of the heart:

In our Torah for this week (i.e., Nitzavim), we read: “The LORD your God will return as you return, and will have mercy upon you, turning to gather you back...” (Deut 30:3). This has both a present and prophetic application. First, in the present hour, if you turn to God, he will show you compassion, and he will “gather back” all those distant and fragmented parts of yourself into shalom and wholeness. He will restore your lost days; he will bring you out of exile and give you comfort in Yeshua. He makes all things new. “Draw near, therefore to God, and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8). Second, the LORD will return to earth as the Jewish people return from their captivity, and he will restore Zion during the time of the final redemption. The LORD will turn captivity into mercy; he will turn in his compassion to his people. As it is written: “I will be found by you, declares the LORD... and I will bring you back...” (Jer. 29:14).

The language of the Torah here is emphatic: “even if your exile is at the farthest edge of heaven (בִּקְצֵה הַשָּׁמָיִם), from there the LORD your God will gather you...” (Deut. 30:4). Note that this prophecy is written in the singular and therefore pertains to each individual exile. God will “gather you,” that is, he bring you back to make you whole. Even if your exile (singular) is to the uttermost, the LORD will take you and deliver you, as it is written, “He is able to save to the uttermost (σῴζειν εἰς τὸ παντελὲς) those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them” (Heb. 7:25). We are close to the end now, waiting for our Lord to come take us home, in whatever way he chooses.

If you are a child of God you are destined for unimaginable beauty and glory... “All things work together for your ultimate good”; there is a future and hope reserved for you. Nothing can thwart God's overmastering providence and purposes for your blessing in Yeshua our Lord. Amen, one day soon you will forget all your miseries and be engulfed in great joy! [Hebrew for Christians]

and another about our human frailty and the treasure of grace:

No one escapes suffering in this life, and therefore it is senseless to pretend to hide or deny our troubles. We are likened to fragile and easily broken vessels that hold the truth of salvation; we are mere dust held together by the sustaining power and glory of God. Our frailty is intended to reveal God's sufficiency and strength: "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us" (2 Cor. 4:7). In light of this, the only meaningful question is how our woundedness and vulnerability may be used to encourage others (2 Cor. 1:4). The "surpassing power belongs to God and not to us" means that God keeps us continually dependent upon himself; we have nothing at our own command; God alone is our strength.

I wonder how often, when I pray from my heart, yearning in my sorrowful unknowing, reaching for utterance in my emptiness, that God sees past my momentary struggle to behold who I really am - despite myself - by means of his grace. What are words but disguised groans, sighs, and lament? And when there's nothing left to say -- silence -- being in the presence of God, quietly surrendered to everything, to my own inner contradictions, to my hopes and to my fears, to my delights and my disappointments, when all is abandoned - I forget myself in peace because everything I am or ever will be is laid out, nothing hidden, before Him. I am no longer fighting, struggling, angling, reasoning, or desiring anything other than just to be there, just as I am, a broken soul in need of my heavenly Father's love... and it's a beautiful place of shalom. [Hebrew for Christians]

9.3.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

September 4, 2021

The Doctrine of the Few

“The LORD did not set his love upon you, nor choose you, because ye were more in number than any people; for ye were the fewest of all people.” (Deuteronomy 7:7)

Modern people—even Christians—tend to measure success in terms of bigness. God’s measure, on the other hand, is based on quality, not quantity. There were undoubtedly millions of people on the earth, for example, when the Flood came in the days of Noah, but only “few, that is, eight souls were saved” as the waters lifted up the Ark (1 Peter 3:20).

A few centuries after the Flood, populations had again increased, and great nations developed in Egypt, Sumeria, and elsewhere. But God called one man, Abraham, to establish a new nation, and he obeyed. Many great nations (Arabs, etc.) came from Abraham, but again God chose only one, Israel, to inherit the promise. Israel did grow, but as our text shows, even this chosen nation was nearly always insignificant compared to other nations.

In Israel’s history, many instances are recorded when God used just a few to battle many. God used Gideon’s 300 men to defeat 135,000 Midianites (Judges 7:7; 8:10). Similar deliverances occurred in the days of David, Asa, Jehoshaphat, Hezekiah, and others.

In the New Testament, the Lord Jesus told His disciples that “where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20). He also said to them: “Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32).

God’s criterion is that of motivation rather than multiplication. “Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it” (Matthew 7:14). But those few will be faithful servants and will someday hear Him say: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant...enter thou into the joy of thy Lord” (Matthew 25:21). HMM

A musical prayer wiry Cageless Birds:

“I recently heard the Lord saying 'Melissa, I want to give you a gift…I want to give you the gift of a sound mind.'

2 Timothy 1:7 says “I have not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind”

The Lord is showing me that I have a choice, and He is asking me to lean into wisdom, abandon fear and turn away from anxiety and panic and CHOOSE a sound mind, to choose self control.”

- Melissa Helser

We gathered on Monday, March 26, 2020 to worship and pray over our nation and the world. As we are quarantined together, our heart was to get Heaven’s perspective and partner with the heart of God in the midst of current events surrounding Covid19. This is a small portion of nearly 2 hours of spontaneous worship and prayer that we will be sharing in full. Our desire is that this encourages you and infuses your own prayer life, wherever you watch this.

[homogrimoire-archive]

The Remnant Branches

CH. 2 - Vile Toxic Intent

Part 3: Tyrian "Helping Children" Callows

Tyrian sees that he has been transported into another world, and makes the best of the situation.

“Hey Z, who’s this nutcase?” Dito asked.

“Don’t know. He doesn’t seem so bad though.” she shrugged as an arm flew into the air. Dito stared at it in amazement as rusted wires and rancid fluids spurted out of it.

“Yeah, fun fact! People don’t have tails. I say we get your sword and go. He’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.” Cent shuddered.

“Hold on, I think he could be useful. I’m getting tired of having to do all the killing around here, and he seems like he likes killing.”

“I agree with Lady Zero. The more people we have, the less energy she wastes by killing soldiers and monsters, and the more energy she can use to kill her sisters.”

“It’s settled then. Hey, scorpion tail! You good now?” Zero shouted as she walked towards him. He let out a huff as he drove in the sword one last time.

“I’m, good now.” he huffed. “I’m very good now!” He let out a loud cackle into the sky.

“You done? I don’t have all day.” She was starting to get annoyed.

“Yes. I’m much better now.” He said as he handed the sword back to her.

“Good. Let’s cut to the chase. I’m on my way to kill my sisters. They call themselves goddesses, so why don't you join me and help me kill them in the name of your goddess?” she offered. She saw him jump at the opportunity, then hesitate for a moment.

“Suuure,” he began, “but on one condition! You tell me about magic! One of my objectives is to learn about magic, so help me with that, and I’ll help you out. Deal?”

“Ugh. Deal.” Zero replied. “Now hurry up. I’m not going to sit around and baby you. We’ve got Intoners to kill.”

-

“Zero, why are we going after One first? Wouldn’t it be better to start with a weaker Intoner?” the young dragon asked.

“Never thought I’d agree with the big baby, but are you sure it’s best to go after One first?” Dito asked.

“Yeah. I’m sure. Once she’s out of the way, taking down the rest of them will be a piece of cake.” She explained. “Would you rather things get easier, or harder as we go?”

“I usually prefer it when its hard, but I suppose tha t this isn’t one of those times. But if you’d like, we could have a hard time right now.” Octa winked at Zero as she decapitated a man.

“I don’t know, does it seem like a good time Octa?” she said as a man fell to his knees to beg for mercy. His pleas fell on deaf ears.

“Hmm, that’s not a no.” he beamed.

“Ugh, why can’t you guys just focus on killing, like him?” she berated as she referred to Tyrian tearing through a group of soldiers in the distance. His laughter was somewhat annoying after a while, but at least he killed, killed, and killed some more.

“Cause he’s literally insane, Z. The guy voluntarily follows a self-proclaimed goddess.” Dito said, exasperated.

“That, and frankly I just don’t trust him. Heh, I mean, I have impeccable judgement, so if I don’t trust him, he just shouldn’t be trusted.” Cent reasoned.

“I don’t know. I think he’s alright. He has a tail, like me! Hey Zero, watch this!” Mikhail shouted, and proceeded to slice a horde of monsters with the tip of his tail. “Did you see Zero? Did you see? I learned that from watching him.”

“He’s not that annoying, he’s a good influence on Mikhail, and he’s good at killing. Can't say all that that about the rest of you, can I? Hey, dummy, go and get some more pointers from him.” she barked at him.

“Yes Zero!” the dragon said happily as he flew to study the tailed murderer.

“But you can say we have an amazing time fucking.” Octa stated.

“... Fine. You guys are good for sex, I guess.” Zero admitted. “Goddamnit, now I’m horny.We’re fucking right now. I don’t give a damn where we are.”

“I guess we can help with that.” Dito sneered.

“Oh ho ho! you know you can count me in anytime, my lady!” Octa exclaimed excitedly.

“I guess I’ll have to join in then. Someone with my unparalleled skills simply needs to be there. But uh, shouldn't we take care of the soldiers first?” Cent asked.

“Mmm, I think they’ll be busy.” She said as they paused to look at the reinforcements heading towards Tyrian. “Hey, hold on, where’s Decadus?”

“Hell if I know.” Cent shrugged.

“I say we start without him.” Octa urged.

“Knowing that freak, he’s probably trying to get stabbed by the new freak in town.” Dito joked, looking at the bloodbath behind them as he began to take off his shirt. “Wait, holy shit. He actually is.” Among the soldiers, Dito could just make out the huge freak.

“You better be fucking joking.” She sighed. She went to look in the distance to see that Decadus was indeed among the soldiers. “Fuck it. If he dies, he dies. That’s on him.” At least the dragon was getting better at killing.

“I knew he was a freak, but damn, he really is on a whole other level of freak.” Dito remarked.

“Fun fact, did you know that a scorpion’s poison can kill a grown man in mere hours, even a big guy like Decadus? Food for thought.” Cent commented.

“Can you two shut up so we can start fucking already?” she demanded to know. While Octa was already undressed and having fun, the other two were barely removing their underwear. Despite missing a man, it was a good time, perhaps even better than usual. All they knew was they they would have to try fucking in the middle of battle more often.

-

“Hey! Hey mister! I’m here! I’m here so I can learn to get better at fighting!” Mikhail exclaimed as he flew closer.

“Oh how wonderful, a pupil!” he yelled joyously as he slashed the chest of one man, the stomach of another, and poisoned a third. However, that fact that he was stabbed in his throat meant he would die from the wound before the poison. “Give me a ride, would you?” he said as he jumped onto Mikhail’s back. “Thank you.”

“Are you gonna give me some pointers? I don’t really like killing, but I’ll do it if it makes Zero’s life easier.” Mikhail explained.

“Well that won’t do. If you don’t like killing, then you shouldn’t be killing. I guess I’ll be taking my leave then.” Tyrian said, readying to jump back into the fray.

“No, wait, wait! I like killing! I like killing if Zero they’re Zero’s enemies! I love killing them! Grr! Kill!” he growled.

“Alright. Good enough. The trick to being a good killer is to love killing. You have to love all the pain and death and suffering you’re creating!” Tyrian explained to the youngling. “Torch those fools below us, would you?” The dragon followed the order, incinerating the many soldiers and monsters.

“Aah, hear that? Smell that? See that? If you wanna help your friend, wanna be a good killer, love that.”

“But couldn’t we have just talked to them instead? I’m sure we could have solved things peacefully.” Mikhail said somewhat sadly. Tyrian laughed at the suggestion.

“Talk? To your enemy? How are you even still alive? Listen kid, why don’t you land down there real quick and talk to them.”

“Really? You’ll let me try to talk to them? Zero never lets me try that.”

“Sure. Gooo right ahead. See what happens.” Tyrian cackled sinisterly as the naive dragon descended.

“Umm, hello. I― ow, stop that!” he said as soldiers stabbed at his thick scales with their puny weaponry. “Hey, I just want to talk with you. Ow, stop that! That kinda hurts!” Mikhail whined.

“Why isn’t it even slowing down?!” One soldier demanded to know.

“Stab it enough and it’ll die eventually!” another responded.

“Kill the traitor intoner’s dragon! Filthy beast!” insulted a man stabbing at the dragon’s feet.

“Hey, that’s not nice! Ow. Listen, I just wanna talk to you! We can solve this peacefully! Ow!”

“Kill, kill, kill!”

“Die, die, die!”

“Perish, perish, perish!”

“Shut up and listen to me!” Mikhail roared, flapping his wings angrily. The powerful gust sent the men flying back.

“Attack!” screamed the soldiers as they rushed back towards the dragon.

“They’re not going to listen, are they?” Mikhail asked himself, though he knew the answer. Tyrian laughed in response.

“See? See why I like killing? You get to rid the world of people who don’t listen to reason! You get to make them suffer! Now, if you want some real pointers, treat your whole body as a weapon, because it is! Crush them! Burn them! Poison them! Bite their throats out! Kill them!” Tyrian giggled maniacally as he jumped back down to spill even more blood. “Killl, alll yourr enemies! And loooove it!”

Soldier upon soldier, monster upon monster. The bodies piled high. Blood was freed from its prison and flowed as it pleased. Smoke bellowed out from the newborn pyre. A song without the power of a flower could be heard. And yet the enemies still ran towards the visage of death. Soon, the last wave arrived. It was composed of humans enhanced by magic, and monsters made of magic. It was a sight that would bring hope to the followers of the Intoner sisters. It would soon become a sight that would inspire despair in them. Only a single man lay alive amongst the order of slaughter.

“Ooh, looks like someone’s still hanging on.” Tyrian cooed.

“Nngh, so, much, pain.” he moaned.

“Huh? Wait! That’s Decadus! Waahhh! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Mikhail profusely apologized as he headed towards the suffering disciple.

“So much, delectable pain, uhmmn…” he groaned.

“You know, you’re not supposed to like it.” Tyrian told him.

“Hurry, put him on my back! We’ll take him back to Zero!” Mikhail told Tyrian.

“I say we just put him out of his misery.”

“Nghnn, to deny me the suffering of life… so cruel.” he moaned again.

Tyrian was taken aback by the disciple’s desire to suffer. It was so illogical to him. It went against everything he knew. People hated to suffer, and feared death, which is why he loved to make them suffer and die. But this guy, it didn’t matter. Whether or not he was suffering, he was getting what he wanted. There wasn’t a way he could truly hurt. It was plain wrong to Tyrian, disgusting even, and he didn’t know how to react to it. So he just did what the dragon asked of him and they made their way towards Zero.

“Don’t worry Decadus! Zero will fix you up!”

“Must she?” he complained.

“Is he alright?” Tyrian asked.

“What? Is he alright? Look at him! Poisoned, burned, broken bones probably, and cuts everywhere! Of course he isn’t alright!” Mikahil stated.

“No, is he alright, like, in the head? Cause, uhh...” Tyrian looked back at the suffering man who enjoyed suffering, and therefore wasn’t really suffering in his eyes.

“Well, probably not. I mean, it was preeeetty crazy back there, so I’m sure he hit his head a few times. Just hang in there Dacadus, we’ll be there soon!”

“Please, nngh, take your time.” he lewdly groaned again. To the joy of Mikhail, they found Zero and the other disciples soon. They were resting peacefully.

“Zeroooooo! Zeroooooooooo!” he yelled as he neared them. Being in the frantic state he was in, he loudly crashed into a nearby rock face. Tyrian managed to jump off in time. Decadus, however… “Waaahhhhh! I’m sorry! I’m sorry again!”

“Can’t ever have a goddam peaceful fucking moment can I?” she sighed. “What!?” she turned to look at a very beat up Decadus, moaning in pleasurable pain. “Oh fucking fuck! Just fucking die next time, god!”

“Guuhhh. So cruel...”

“Eew look! The bone is sticking out!” Dito exclaimed as he giddily ran towards the body. “Ohh, gross!! You can see the bone marrow! And look at this vein! God that’s disgusting! Man this cut goes deeeep! Holy shit, this burn!” he gasped with excitement, like a kid getting free candy.

“The big guy, is there something wrong with him, or…” Tyrian wasn’t sure how else to describe it, so he just motioned vaguely with his hands.

“I ask myself that everyday. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. Alright, out of the way shorty.” She pushed Dito out of the way as he was poking at a wound with a stick.

“Hey!” Dito shouted. Zero ignored his cry.

“Pay attention scorpion. You wanted magic, here it is.”

She began to vocalize ever so softly, and began a dance. Her lower body remained stationary as her upper body danced odd movements. A glow began to envelop his body as the flower in her eye began to glow. Soon, her movements quickened and her voice became louder. The glow became so intense it was blinding. When the glow faded, and the song and dance stopped, and a healed Decadus was what they saw.

“Thank you, Lady Zero...” he said rather sadly. She lifted a leg, and kicked him in the dick, sending him flying into the wall of rock. The rest of the guys looked in horror, clutching their own dick through their clothing in fear.

“Fucking do that again! I fucking dare you! Goddamn disciple...” she grumbled.

“Understood, ghhhnn, Lady Zero.” he cried. He looked like a kicked puppy that liked being kicked.

“I didn’t get to look at the poison wound on his back...” Dito lamented.

“At least we still have our dicks in one piece.” Tyrian said as he looked at Decadus in horror.

[albionscastle]

Never Been Kissed

Just a little imagine based on a couple of different conversations that have been going on the past few days.

In particular for @disneydirectioner

The last part was specifically for you @deathbylowden @wardley10 and @outofworkactress

Fic Masterlist

What happens when, the night before a big romantic scene, Jack discovers that his co star has never actually been kissed before.

NEVER BEEN KISSED

“Cut!” The director called it and you were able to finally let out the laugh you’d been holding in.

“Bloody hell, Jack, what was that?” you were as doubled over as you could be in your corset.

“Tha was me impression of a coo. Why, did ye no like it?” he looked overly offended, holding a fist over his heart as though you had wounded him.

“Jack you sounded like a constipated sumo wrestler.”

“Now tha hurts lass.”

You shook your head, moving away from the cameras to your set chair and trying in vain to sit comfortably with half a mile of metal caging squishing your insides.

“Need some ‘elp?”

“The jaws of life maybe. Why do you get to be comfortable?”

“Cause lasses didna wear trousers in 1743.”

“Neither did the lads.” you retorted with a pointed look at the long kilt he had draped around him.

“But ye look far better than we do, so ther’s tha’.”

You conceded his point, but only because talking took air away from breathing, and you needed to breathe. Still, you couldn’t help but mutter ‘bastard’ under your breath as he swung his kilt while sauntering away.

It really was a hell of a view.

It was hours later when you stood in the wardrobe trailer, your assistant and pal popping you out of the corset one hook at a time.

“Oh. My. God. That feels so good.” You moaned as you shed all the layers, gulping down huge lungfuls of air. “Now I’m hungry.”

“Call room service at the hotel, you need to prep for tomorrow.”

“Sliding back into your jeans and jumper you looked at her confusion.

“I’ve already got all my lines down for tomorrow’s scenes.”

“They added a few things.” “What things?”

“I’ll show you when we get back to the hotel.”

“Now. Show me now.”

Reluctantly, she pulled some papers from her bag, the highlighted parts indicating the new additions to the script.

“Oh. Shit.” you breathed.

“Yeah, I know.”

“But why?”

“They said that Susan was so impressed with the chemistry you and Jack have, that she wanted to ramp it up a notch.”

“So I have to kiss him them.”

“Looks like it.”

“Well that's just fucking great, what am I going to do?”

You both looked down the hotel corridor as you walked, your anxiety mounting. It wasn’t that you had a problem kissing Jack, per se. You’d have to be daft to not want to. This was your first role, Susan having literally plucked you off the street, plonking you in the middle of the ensemble. You were a writer, not an actress, but the experience so far had been fun. Jack was an amazing man to play make believe with and he was incredibly kind and supportive.

The fact that he was quite possibly the most gorgeous man on the planet was something that you studiously tried to ignore.

“Why don’t you just talk to Jack. Seems like he’d probably understand, maybe even give you a few pointers.”

“Riiiiight.” you scoffed as you fiddled with your key card. “I’ll just walk up to my suave, gorgeous, man-of-the-world co-star and say ‘Hey Lowden, I know I’m 25, but hey, I’ve never been kissed so…’ I’m sure once he’s done laughing, the whole situation will be magically salvaged.”

“Well hon, it’s either that or your first kiss is going to be on camera, in front of the whole crew and then EVERYONE is going to know. At least Jack might be able to tell you how to hide it better.”

“Shut up. I hate it when you’re right.”

“Let me know ok, I’m going to get myself some dinner.”

You closed your door as she walked off, neither of you noticing Jack’s partially open door across from you.

There was a third option, you thought with glee a little while later. Slithering into your favorite dress, the one that really showed off your figure you left your room with a grim determination. All you had to do was go down to the bar and snag a guy, any guy would do. A few drinks and some light making out and your problem would be solved. Ok, so maybe more than a few drinks, you thought, looking around at the selection of dudebros and riff raff you were faced with. There were some admittedly handsome lads, but none you could see yourself kissing. Jack’s face swam behind your eyelids, another couple of drinks should fix that problem.

Four whiskeys in and you had a pleasant buzz going on and an attractive blonde bro had caught your eye. Floppy hair and a rugby jersey accompanied a confident smirk and you figured you may as well take the plunge. Emptying your glass you pointedly smiled at him before turning back to the bar. Waiting. You weren’t disappointed.

“Can I buy you a drink sweetcheeks?”

Blondie stood next to you, elbow on the bar, eyes looking you up and down. You felt out of your element and smiled, quickly trying to squash the feeling. You opened your mouth to accept but instead heard a voice from the other side of you that made your heart drop into your feet.

“No’ tonight, mate. Sorry.”

Blondie took one look at the glowering Scotsman and raised his hands, backing away from the bar. And with him went option 3. Son of a bitch

“Wha’ exactly are ye abou’ lass?”

“Having a few drinks, you scared my friend away.”

“He wasnae yer friend, lass.”

“Could’ve been.” you muttered, irrationally angry at him.

“Oh he was aimin fer a lot more than ye had planned darlin.”

“How would you know?”

“Cause I heard him, when I came in. This wasna smart move y/n.”

“I can take care of myself, you know. I’m a grown-ass woman.”

“Aye.” his mouth was against your ear suddenly. “But yer no an experienced one are ye?”

The blood drained from your face, shocked by his words.

“I’ll admit, this was an inspired plan, but no without it’s flaws. What were ye goin tae do when he wasna willin tae stop wi’ a kiss?”

This was humiliating. You had never been so embarrassed in all your life.

“How are you even here, Jack?”

“I heard ye in the hall earlier. Then I saw ye leave in tha’ dress, wasna hard to put tha’ together.” he shrugged.

“No exactly, I didna close close my door properly and I was fair tae fixin it when I heard ye. I didna mean to listen, but I’m glad I did.”

“Why? So you can witness my humiliation in all its technicolor glory?”

“Nae, so I can stop summan far worse than a bad first kiss from happening.”

“What can be worse than this?” you whispered miserably.

“C’mon lassie, les go upstairs and talk abou it.”

That was honestly the last thing you wanted to do. You would prefer to go hide in your room, under the blankets. Forever. Which wouldn’t help you at all tomorrow. And it wasn’t as though Jack was going to let it go, one look at his face told you that much. He was scowling at Blondie while he took your arm, making sure you didn’t sway while you walked.

An awkward silence in the lift followed as you leaned against opposite walls. You watched him, head down, fingers drumming on the rail behind him, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip. Feeling like an idiot and like a teenager being picked up from an illicit party by a disapproving parental figure, you just hunched your shoulders miserably.

Wordlessly he ushered you through the door of his room, switching on the light to reveal a bit of a mess.

“Oh, shit sorry, I didna have time tae clean up today.” You could have sworn he blushed as he scooped clothing off the couch and kicked shoes to the side. The bed was unmade and looked as though a wrestling match had taken place. He was either a very restless sleeper or he wasn’t sleeping alone. He followed your gaze, quickly smoothing out the blankets and pillows.

“I don sleep so well in new places.” he shrugged, looking embarrassed.

“S’ok, my room usually looks like a bomb’s gone off.”

It was a lie. Yours was spotless and Jack was obviously a messy shite. To be honest you found that flaw in him adorable, and less intimidating. Perhaps he was a mere human after all.

He motioned for you to sit on the couch, taking the bed across from you and leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Why did ye think ye couldna tell me?”

“You kept your head down, fiddling nervously with your nails.

“It’s humiliating.”

“Why is tha’ so?”

“Come on Jack, I’m 25 years old.”

“So. I donnae see what yer age had tae do wi’ it.”

“Had you been kissed at 25?” you snapped.

“Aye lass, I’d done me fair share o kissin afore I was 25.”

“Then you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me. Look Y/N, I ken ye dinnae know me tha’ well, but ye can trust me.”

You took a deep breath, chancing to look up at him. He leaned towards you earnestly, blue eyes full of concern, but completely devoid of scorn, pity or laughter.

“What was your first kiss like?”

“Awful. I was 16 and thought I was the shite. Gemma was the prettiest girl in school and she invited me tae kiss her behind the shed. I didnae know what I was doin and she laughed at me. Said if she’d wanted a spit bath she’d ave snogged a coo. It was humiliatin.”

“I’m having trouble picturing that to be honest.” “The verra next day I took me savins and went tae visit Krista. It were rumored she would teach ye fer the right price.”

“Did she?”

“She did and by the next Monday I was an expert, well as much as a teenage boy can be.”

“Did you ever kiss Gemma again?”

“Naye, but I did kiss all her friends.”

“Slut.” you muttered, snickering at the ridiculousness of the story he’d just told.

“Tha’s me, lass.” he laughed. “So what’s yer story? Ye cannae tell me a girl like you hasna had offers.”

“You’d be surprised.” you murmured. “I was a really, really shy teenager, and it's not like I’m frigid or anything. I had crushes. But none of them were ever interested.”

“Idiots.” he whispered under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothin luv, go on.”

“I don’t know, I guess I always imagined it to be a certain way. A magical moment, like in Princess Diaries.”

“The foot poppin kiss?’ he grinned.

“Yeah, I know it's stupid but I always wanted it to be romantic and special and I guess I just waited too long for something that doesn’t exist.”

“It's no stupid, not even close.” he leaned forward further, resting his hands over yours. “What was stupid was tha stunt ye tried tae pull tonight. There was nothin fuckin magical ‘bou tha.”

“It was pretty dumb wasn’t it?” you sighed.

“Yer lucky I was there tae rescue ye from lettin tha’ knob slobber all over ye.”

“Ew.” you shuddered, the thought making you feel a little ill.

“What’s yer favorite song?” he asked suddenly, hopping up from the bed.

“Ummmm,” confused about the sudden topic change you furrowed your brow.

“I could guess, but it would be quicker if ye told me.” his phone was in his hand, fingers playing across the screen.

You huffed out the name of it, a cliched overly romantic piece of musical fluff if ever there was one.

He chuckled, pressing a button.

“I didnae even haf tae download tha’ one. C’mon over here would ye?”

You stood up on shaky legs, following him when he opened the door to the small balcony, reaching back to switch off the light in his room.

The song started to play softly and he put his phone down, holding out a hand to you. You took it, gasping when he tugged you closer, placing your hand on his shoulder, his arm sliding around your waist.

“Close yer eyes.”

You did, the darkness amplifying the music, the warmth of the man holding you, the sound of waves crashing against cliffs nearby. Your heart pounding in your ears.

“Keep em closed, ok lass.”

“Ok.”

For several bars of the song he swayed with you, moving your other hand to his shoulder. He moved a half-step closer, palm sliding down your arm to rest on the back of your neck.

Your breath escaped in a whoosh a split second before you felt his mouth brush over yours like a feather, beard tickling your skin.

“Oh.”

He smiled against your lips, adding pressure as his mouth covered yours, hot and damp. Lips moved against yours, gentle and slow as though there was all the time in the world. With his fingers on your neck he tilted your head to the side, nose sliding along your cheek, the new angle giving him more access. Pure instinct had you moving your lips against his, his little grunt of encouragement giving you confidence.

Heat began to pool in your belly, your body leaning closer to his heat. The tip of his tongue darted to the corner of your mouth and sparks seemed to shoot through you.

“Open fer me lass.” he murmured against you, prompting your lips to part on a sigh. “Tha’s better.” His voice was ragged, breath hot and heavy your your mouth as his lips moved against yours. You couldn’t help but groan into his mouth when his tongue slid across your bottom lip, sneaking in against your teeth before retracting and leaving you electrified. Your body was flush against him now, he was so damn big compared to you, but so gentle. Standing up on your toes you pressed closer, your lips chasing his.

His teeth nipped at your bottom lip and he moved your head again, kissing you harder now, his mouth open over yours, catching your lips between his, beard rasping, rough against your skin.

You weren’t ready when his tongue snaked out, past your teeth, tracing a path along the side of yours.

Your knees buckled as heat shot through you, moaning against his mouth. His tongue slid across yours again, your hands finding his head, fingers sliding into his hair. At his gentle urging you mimicked his movements, tongue darting out, tasting whisky and cream, his turn to groan as your tongue scraped across the roof of his mouth.

Gentle went out the window, Jack grunting into your mouth as you met him stroke for stroke. His tongue filling your mouth sent a jolt of pure lust down your spine, between thighs that were rubbing together of their own volition. He wasn’t unaffected, you managed to comprehend the hard ridge of him pressing against your stomach through all the layers of clothing.

“Jesus.” he pulled away, forehead resting against yours, your chests rising and falling as you both panted to get your breath back. “Yer foot didna pop, I cannae haf done a verra good job.”

“I think I’m ok with skipping that part. You’re a very good teacher.”

“And yer a verra talented and enthusiastic student.” he chuckled.

You reddened, you had definitely gotten carried away, thinking it was more than what it was.

“I like tae see ye blush, luv. Do ye go red everywhere?” his eyes glanced down to where your chest heaved. “I canna tell in the dark. Can I tell ye a secret?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

His mouth came to your ear, his breath on your neck making your hair stand on end.

“A’ve wanted tae kiss ye from the moment I first met ye.”

Your heart stopped.

“Really?”

“Really lass, I’ve no stopped thinkin abou it and now tha I know I’m the only man tae have ever kissed ye, I still canna stop thinkin abou it.”

You shivered at his words, at the promise behind them, the need you had for him.

“I think I’m going to need more help, one lesson isn’t going to be enough for me to really get the hang of it.”

“Ye think? How many lessons do ye think yer goin tae need?”

Suddenly confident in the light of his declaration, you licked your lips, slowly, enjoying his sharp intake of breath.

“How many different types of kisses are there?”

“Uuuungggh, yer killin me darlin.”

“Then you should probably get started, Jack. Can’t have you expiring before you’re done with my lessons.”

“Righ then ye wicked wee minx.” he laughed, bending down and leaning you over his shoulder before carrying you into his room. “I’ll be testing ye, ye ken.”

THE NEXT MORNING

“Mornin Y/N, how was yer evenin?”

“Didn’t get a lot of sleep, but it was otherwise productive. How was yours Jack?” you smirked into your coffee as he stood next to you within sight of half the crew.

“Aye I didna sleep much meself, a wee beastie kept wakin me up.” He winked at you over the rim of his cup.

You felt your cheeks flush, well aware of just exactly he was alluding to.

“Hmmmm, might want to do something about that.”

“I haf a few thoughts.” he smirked, voice gruff, his eyes raking over you hotly.

“I just bet you do. See you on the other side Mr Lowden.” you patted his shoulder before joining your assistant so you could go to wardrobe.

“You talked to him, didn’t you?” she whispered excitedly, dragging you into the trailer. “Tell me everything.”

“You gave her some basics as you stripped to your underwear, mentally preparing for the torture of the corset.

“Don’ forget tae tell her abou yer darin plan, luv!” Jack shouted from the other side of the door.

“Go away Jack!”

“So I assume he kissed you then.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Sweetie you’ve got beard burn. Makeup is going to have a fit.” she laughed when you started blushing furiously. “So what else happened? Did you manage to have him help you with that other pesky problem?”

“Shhhhh, keep your voice down!”

“Omg! Did you?”

“No. we just kissed.” You caught her sly look. “Alot.” you giggled as she slapped your arm.

“All night alot?”

“Yeeeeaaaahhhh.” you sighed happily.

“Lucky bitch.” she muttered, bending down to help with your stockings.

You snickered, her appreciation for Jack was a running joke between you and a hilarious bone of contention with her husband.

“Oh my god!”

“What?”

She had her hand on your raised leg for the stocking and was gaping in shock.

“Honey, you have beard burn on your fucking thighs!”

Red, crimson, rouge, there weren’t enough words to describe the colors you were turning. Looking down, you gasped at the sight of the angry red marks on the inside of your thighs. “Ohhhhhhh. Shit.” you looked at her, guilt all over your face. True to the conversation you’d done nothing more than kiss, but Jack had certainly taken that thought and run with it, all over your body. Several times over.

It had been amazing. He was amazing.

“What the hell happened last night?”

“Jus kissin!!!!!” Jack shouted from behind the door again, howling with laughter when the book you threw hit it with a thud.

He was going to pay for that.

[welldresseddadblog]

Welcome to the 12th instalment of the “Garmsman Dozen” question and answer session. The response so far has been tremendous. Did you miss earlier ones? There are links at the end of the page.

This week we welcome to the Garmsman Dozen Iain Trickett from Great Britain!

Who are you, where do you live and what interests you?

My name is Iain Trickett, 31, and I am the head honcho at TRiCKETT England… Well, I am the only honcho actually. I live in Accrington, Lancashire where the pies are plentiful and the skies are grey. When I’m not making clothes or thinking about clothing, I am found looking at Californian Tattooists, researching British subcultures, listening to hip-hop and walking my dogs.

Thinking back to your childhood, what were your most memorable or favourite clothes?

From a very, very young age, I was obsessed with sportswear and in particular training shoes. My mother was really into trainers and bought me my very first pair of Nike Air Jordans at the age of 4. As my interests developed I become interested in sporting apparel and the performance, however, the two items that set me off on a voyage into fashion or clothing were the Newcastle 1995-97 home shirt by Adidas and the LA Gear Gretzky One street hockey trainers.

First, the Newcastle shirt was just beautiful. The team that wore it was one of the great ‘could’ve been’ teams and the period that the shirt was introduced was a great period for sportswear design. The shirt featured a granddad collar, alternate mesh and solid polyester black and white stripes, piping on the three stripes and the infamous Newcastle Brown Ale logo. This item proved that football shirts were just for the pitch, but also fashion items that would be worn after the turnstiles closed.

The Gretzky shoes were something that I imagine went into a metaphorical sportswear landfill. Manufactured by the now defunct LA Gear, these shoes were unlike anything I had ever seen before. I used to visit Florida quite regularly with my parents as my mum had a great Aunt that lived in Clearwater. Most days were spent sat outside, basking in the sun. For a child under 10, this isn’t the most fun you could have, so my dad bought me copies of Sports Illustrated and other American sports magazines to keep me occupied. It was world unlike any I had ever seen and one person who stood out was a Canadian fellow wearing a pair of black and white boots with a #99 on the side. I later learned that this was the great Wayne Gretzky, who had just made his unpopular switch to the LA Kings. The boots themselves were pretty unremarkable, mesh and leather mixed together with some traditional hockey skate laces and the great one’s signature and number on the side. The shoes themselves were by no means a piece to keep in the memory of the sporting collector, but for me, it represented a gateway to a world I have never seen before.

How would you describe your style today, and what are your influences?

When I was younger, I used to listen to DJ Shadow, I always admired how he could take bits and pieces from all over the place and put it all together to create one coherent piece. I am not for a minute saying that what I do compares to the great Shadow, but I would say that I like to be influenced by all kinds of things. I am obsessed with Italy and Italian elegance, for me it isn’t necessarily having a suit made entirely hand in a tiny Sartoria down a backstreet in Napoli, or that weird sprezzatura thing that was cool a few years ago, it is more about being comfortable in your skin and having elegance with it.

I think I will always be obsessed with footwear and I believe dressing from the feet up, you can never go too far wrong. So if I had to describe my style it’s footwear-obsessed, sports-fan, who likes his pasta al dente and his top button done up… that probably makes no sense.

Most garmsmen will have a few “grail items” in their collection. Not to out you, but if your house is burning, which garments do you grab?

I think if my house was burning down, I would think about my new kitchen that is just about to be put in and whether the plinth heater would’ve been worth it in the winter. After a pause, I would make sure that I have my original deadstock pair of Nike Air Jordan Is. They are in a size 10, the original banned colourway and are just waiting to be worn. My plan was to wear them at my wedding, but not being married, they are just waiting for that perfect moment… Maybe my debut in the Accrington Observer.

Are you budget-conscious or spendthrift? Are you a single-shot shopper, or go large and buy bulk? Where are you on slow-fashion and buying less?

I think for many people, getting dressed in a morning is pretty stressful. We are at a point in society where we buy more, have more options and dress much more casually than our parents and certainly, our grandparents do/did. I would like to think that I am the kind of person that buys what I like and for the most part, that tends to be from smaller brands. I do like the idea of buying less and just buying a couple of very expensive suits, but truthfully, I am just not sure that works in the 21st Century. I’d love to be able to turn up to ASDA in Accrington wearing my Rubinacci suit, selecting which bananas best represent who I am, but chances are, I would probably get asked if I worked there. I do think we should make an effort to buy from smaller brands because owning one, I can’t stress to you how many different people are impacted by your £30 you spend with them, rather than oiling a huge conglomerate that doesn’t really care.

Having a large collection of clothes can lead to changing outfit on a daily basis, but if you were going to wear a single outfit the next two weeks, what would it be?

I genuinely believe that you can’t go too far wrong with a varsity jacket (either loads of patches or none, there is no middle ground), a really nice white t-shirt (no curry stains), very, very dark selvedge denim (listen, I am not a denim geek, it is just nicer to wear and everyone likes to see a flick of selvage on their turn-ups) and just a pair of very white leather trainers. In this outfit, you are a bit casual, but at the same time, who wants to be wearing a navy blue suit everywhere they go?

What are your best tips for buying?

If there is one thing that I have learned over the years of buying and designing clothes it’s buying stuff that fits. I know that seems like an obvious thing to say, but it really does help. I went through a phase of wanting to dress like a skinhead, the look is so incredibly iconic and its a really clean aesthetic. However, I know, now, that my shape doesn’t suit that style, I am very, very broad and not well endowed in the shin department so I just end up looking like a square in more ways than one. So my advice is, get something you feel comfortable in and then take it to a tailor, it’s their job to make you look good.

Big lads, don’t buy baggy stuff, you just end up looking worse and for goodness sake you don’t need shoulder pads in your jackets, go get them taken out. Napoli is great for many things, but in particular for making the natural shoulder in suit jackets cool. Forza Napoli Sempre.

Anyone that buys clothes will have made mistakes, what is your most memorable bad buy?

I have been lucky enough to work with Patrick Grant of E. Tautz and Community Clothing fame. One of the more famous items of clothing that he has in the lineup is the field trousers. A wide legged pair of kecks (that’s Lancastrian for pants) that are based on trousers that Naval officers would in the ‘40s and ‘50s. They look very elegant when worn with converse and swish from side to side in almost a hypnotic way. They look great… That is until you are wearing them in TESCO in Accrington only for an old man to say ‘Thas looks like a pillock in them ‘owd lad.’ I nodded in agreement, sadly I am not built like a model and the 42 rolls at the hems did nothing for the shape.

Do you have any style icons, historic or current?

I like to pinch bits from lots of peoples style, so I am sorry if this turns into a massive long list.

Sid Mashburn – his shop and Southern (American) charm are something that you always feel like he is wearing. One of the only two men I know that can wear white jeans convincingly. He also likes Italian tailoring and American football, so he is OK with me.

Alessandro Squarzi – A chap who can seemingly throw on any old thing and look absolutely amazing, I much preferred him with a shaved head, but that is probably because I am follically challenged. He is also the second person I admire who can wear white jeans convincingly.

Lino Ieluzzi – Milan just wouldn’t be the same without this bloke, great hair, great suits and great labradors. I literally don’t know what else you could want from life.

LeBron James – LeBron has literally made wearing his trousers too short in the leg his trademark. Obviously being a basketball player there isn’t much ready-to-wear that would fit him in the leg, but he always manages to produce a certain air of elegance about him.

My Uncle Peter – Only ever wore a rugby shirt and chinos. Every. Single. Day. I admire anymore who has an almost cartoon character-like wardrobe and sticks to it.

My mum and dad – Both have very different views on clothes and how to wear them, but both are passionate about what the put on and that is really all that matters.

Does your interest in clothes influence other aspects of your life?

Clothing does mean a great deal to me and I think most subcultures like to dress up. Be it new Romantics, skinheads, Teddy Boys whatever, I don’t think you can be into clothes without liking the things around it. However, my obsession with all things American and Italian pretty much means that I spend any free time I get there. Whether it is seeking exceptionally old shops in Italy or finding a brand new trainer shop in LA, travelling for clothing and discovery of the cities and towns is, for me, the best part. The internet has so many great uses, but it has slightly killed this adventures. However, there are still a few hidden gems that are on the list, that I am not telling you about!

How do you see your style evolving going forwards?

I think style is the appreciation of beautiful things. I always used to get caught up with the notion that style had to be something of the moment or it had to be something that was a set of rules set by other ‘stylish’ people. I think style is the word we use just for the stuff we like. Sometimes the stuff we like makes us cool and other times it can make us very uncool. However, I think as long as we are appreciating beauty whether that is food, art, clothing, whatever that can only improve our style. I hope my style evolves and my interests develop, I have an insatiable appetite for learning and I can’t see that changing.

Do you have a good style or garment based story?

When I was much younger, I absolutely loved Bape (a Bathing Ape), my friend and I were obsessed with this picture of the Notorious B.I.G wearing a camouflage jacket with ape’s head floating around in it. On the front placket it had A BATHING APE in bold lettering, so we set about finding out where we could get it. To cut a very long story short, we found a tiny shop in London where Bape was sold. We pooled all our money together for the tickets, bunked off school, bought the jacket, came home, feeling like we really had achieved something only for my dad to be waiting on the platform when we returned. I still don’t know to this day how he found out and whats even worse is that I never really wore the jacket much that me and my pal bought together. He was Blackburn Rovers fan. Says it all really.

Thank you for your Garmsman Dozen Iain!

Iain’s website is at trickett-england.co.uk and his Instagram is @trickettengland

Did you miss the first Garmsman Dozens?

Jon from Great Britain

Shaun from Scotland

Klaus from Germany

Roland from Italy

Daniel from Sweden

Enoch from the USA

Even from Norway

Kris from Belgium

Michael from Great Britain

Liam from Great Britain

Lee from Great Britain

PS: If you have suggestions for participants, let me know. Or have your mother suggest you, if you’re a bit keen to suggest yourself. My email is WellDressedDad (@) gmail.com

The Garmsman Dozen #12: Iain from Great Britain (Trickett_England) #trickett #garmsmandozen #mensfashion #madeinengland #accrington #lancashire #mensstyle #menswear #sportswear #vintage #retro Welcome to the 12th instalment of the "Garmsman Dozen" question and answer session. The response so far has been tremendous.

[sage-nebula]

do you have any thoughts or headcanon on BOTW Link's past? I know his father is a night but I wish the game would tell us about his life growing up and how they knew he was the chosen hero. ( This is my first zelda game so I don't know how they generaly explain things like this)

Hey! So, apologies for the fact that I’ve been sitting on this for a couple days, but I wanted to wait until I finished the Champions’ Ballad DLC just in case there was new information about Link in it.

In regards to your parenthetical: They don’t generally tell you very much about Link’s history in the games, no. The Legend of Zelda series is an action/adventure series, meaning that although most of the games have a story, the emphasis isn’t actually put on the story (and thus isn’t on the characters). Rather, the focus is always on the gameplay, to the point where the developers actually come up with the core concepts they want to explore via gameplay first, and then write a story to incorporate those concepts (rather than crafting gameplay mechanics to suit the story).  We can see this in Breath of the Wild, actually; they wanted to recreate the feel of the very first Legend of Zelda game, particularly with regards to exploration, and they wanted to create a game where the player could do just about anything they wanted, whenever they wanted. This was the very first concept which inspired them to make Breath of the Wild, and so they crafted a narrative which would suit that concept. Thus, the post-apocalyptic Hyrule that we know and now love was born.

So to that end, we have that as our first reason for why Link’s backstory was never focused on very much in previous games. The second reason is that Link is supposed to be a self-insert for the player. When Miyamoto Shigeru first created the character we know as Link, he named him Link because Link was supposed to be “a link between the player and the game”. The reason why Link is a silent protagonist is because the player is supposed to imprint their personality onto him. The reason why he is right-handed in recent games that don’t feature the (supposedly) 1:1 motion controls is because the majority of the world is right-handed. Although Link is always male, his appearance has become increasingly androgynous as time has gone on to make it easier for players to believe they are him. And though his default name is Link, in previous games you were always given the option to name him, with the idea being that you would input your own name into the name entry field. (The only reason why you aren’t given that option in Breath of the Wild is because of the voice acted lines.) The Legend of Zelda is a game series where you’re supposed to imagine yourself as the Hero, so just like we don’t learn anything about MC’s backstory or history in Mystic Messenger, much of what we learn about the various Heroes in The Legend of Zelda games is left open to the imagination, even when it comes to his personality. (This is really shown in Skyward Sword, where you do get dialogue choices, but those choices let you decide what his personality is like.)

So with all of that being said, the information we got was always limited. In A Link to the Past, for example, we learn that Link was descended from a line of knights (again), and that he lives with his uncle, who is a knight. In Ocarina of Time, we learn that Link’s mother was a Hylian woman who, dying from injuries due to the war, fled into the Kokiri Forest with him and entrusted him to the Great Deku Tree when he was an infant. In Wind Waker, we know that Link lives with his grandmother and his little sister, Aryll, on Outset Island, and that he loves them very much. We also learn that he is not descended from the Hero of Time. And once again, that’s all we learn. In Skyward Sword, we learn that he is childhood best friends with Zelda and that Groose is jealous of him, and also that he’s an orphan. And again … that’s it.

With the information being as sparse as it is, the fact that we know so little about Link in Breath of the Wild is unsurprising. All the same, thanks to the dairies especially, I feel that we actually know a bit more about him than we do about previous Heroes.

Canonical information for the Hero of the Wild:

His name is definitively Link, with no room to call him anything different.

He comes from a family of knights.

He is omnivorous, with a huge appetite (and yes, the omnivore bit is hard canon as of Daruk’s training journal, not just implied by what you can eat in game should you so choose it).

He met Mipha when he was four years old, and she was an adolescent; she saw him as an adorable child at the time as a result.

He … bested adult knights in swordplay when he was a four-year-old toddler … I guess.

When he was a toddler, he was energetic, bright, and rambunctious, resulting in him acquiring quite a few bruises but not losing his cheer.

He enjoyed swordplay even as a toddler and was always eager to challenge older knights to duels.

Sometime shortly after they met, Link left Zora’s Domain (since he was only there for a visit with other, adult knights), and didn’t return until over ten years later, when he was ~17. (Note: We know this because Mipha met him when he was four, yet then didn’t see him again until it was time for the Champions to be sought out. Thus, despite the main story making it seem as if they spent their entire childhoods together, Mipha’s diary makes it pretty clear they didn’t.)

When Link returned to Zora’s Domain when he was seventeen (and especially when he saved her from a Lynel), Mipha developed a crush on him.

Link’s friends (Zelda and Daruk) tried to get him to eat strange things (frogs and rocks) with varying levels of success.

Link was assigned to be Zelda’s appointed knight as a result of both being the Hero and the most skilled knight out of the entire force.

Link and Zelda did not get along at first because Zelda thought he was silently judging her for not being able to awaken their power, and was also salty at the idea of having an appointed knight in the first place.

Link started concealing his feelings and keeping his thoughts to himself once he pulled the Master Sword from its pedestal, because he felt the pressure of his role as the Hero and was afraid that revealing his feelings would let others down / disappoint / upset them. Thus, he thought it best to stay quiet.

Mipha asked Link why he was so quiet when he returned to Zora’s Domain as a young adult; he did not confide in her.

Zelda asked Link why he was so quiet when they were eating together one day; he did confide in her.

Revali resented Link for being the one chosen to fight Calamity Ganon, and for being so quiet all the time.

Daruk thought Link was super cool because Link wiped out a bunch of monsters by himself when they first met, and liked to eat a lot.

Link was very good with animals, and in particular he had a gift with horses.

Link sought out Urbosa when Zelda kept ditching him, and Urbosa gave him a tip on how to get into Gerudo Town (i.e. crossdressing). She also told him when Zelda was with her so that he could come seek them out.

The decorations Link can install in his house are places to hang weapons, and the picture of him and the other Champions + Zelda.

Honestly, this is a lot of information—far more than we have had about previous Heroes, even though there’s still so much left to the imagination. So with that said, I do have some headcanons, yeah:

I don’t buy, as you know, that Link, as a toddler, could defeat adult knights in swordplay. Rather, I prefer the explanation you provided that they let him think that he won, to boost his confidence, and bby!Link, not knowing any better, just told everyone that he beat them. However, by the time he got to be around ten or so, he was able to beat them, in part because he never stopped practicing due to the confidence boosts they gave him.

He really likes dogs, in addition to horses.

Both of his parents were knights, not just his father.

Both of them were very accomplished, and people often compared Link to his father. However, his mother was actually the one who took her duty more seriously, in the sense that she was always impressing on Link what an honor it was to be a knight, and what a burden such a duty was to carry, and how important it was to be worhty of the title, and so on and so forth. His father, while skilled, had more chill about it.

On top of impressing on him the weight of the duty of being a knight, his mother is the one who taught him survival skills, such as hunting and foraging for food in the wild, and how to throw something together in a pinch if you were out in the wilderness with no rations.

His father taught him actual recipes one would make in a home.

He forgot both of these things after waking up in the Shrine of Resurrection and had to learn all over again once awaking, RIP.

He always loved music and really wanted to learn how to play an instrument, but swordplay and knight training left him no time to learn. He grew a bit envious of the bard who would later become Kass’ teacher (who in turn was envious of him for being so close to Zelda).

When the Master Sword was discovered, all of the knights were given the task of trying to pull it free from the pedestal to see if they were worthy. Link was among the last (if not the very last) to try due to his young age. When he gripped the hilt, the blade gleamed with a faint blue glow; and when he gave it a tug, it slid free from the pedestal as if it had merely been cased in a sheath instead. The drawing of the Master Sword from the pedestal made it clear beyond doubt that he was the chosen Hero, and Link knew then that the burden he carried was far more than mere knighthood could grant him.

He always felt frustrated with Revali for being such a jerk to him all the time, not because Revali was a jerk, but because he couldn’t figure out why Revali was being a jerk. 

He didn’t actually enjoy eating that rock that Daruk fed him. He just pretended he did so as not to hurt Daruk’s feelings. Think like how Hiccup forced himself to swallow that bit of raw fish in the first How to Train Your Dragon movie to make Toothless happy.

He put in work during his spare time to learn how to braid hair so that he could braid Zelda’s hair as a thank you for the times when she patched up his injuries, or else they just had downtime together.

He did develop feelings for her one hundred years in the past, but felt it wouldn’t be right for him to act on them since he was her appointed knight, and as such he never let them show.

One hundred years ago, he communicated often with the spirit of the Master Sword (Fi); she mostly spoke to him in dreams, but she would “speak” to him in waking times as well, in the form of a little ideas or words popping into his head that he knew, instinctively, were coming from his sword. One hundred years later this never happens, and though he can’t remember that it used to at first, he still feels a strong sense of loneliness that he can’t quite place all the same. (And when he gets the Master Sword back, he does remember, and wonders why she won’t speak to him, and wonders if it’s because he failed her one hundred years ago.)

He didn’t return Mipha’s feelings, but instead saw her as a childhood friend / sisterly figure (albeit it was a bit confusing to him whether he should think of her as an older sister, a sister around the same age as him, or a younger sister; his decision changed all over the place depending on the moment). He didn’t realize that she had feelings for him one hundred years in the past, and when he learns about this one hundred years later, he feels confused and awkward whenever it’s brought up. He really wishes Sidon and King Doraphan would stop bringing it up.

He can be quite snarky, particularly one hundred years later when he no longer has the memory to remember why he repressed himself so much one hundred years ago, and curses the goddesses (Din, Nayru, and Farore) a lot, in varying creative ways.

He hates snow, sand, and he especially hates the rain.

He’s not a fan of lava, either.

I could probably think of more if I had time, but yeah! That’s what I’ve got for now.

[pianosamurai]

Asia Trip Part 3: Tu Lan + The Trip to Hanoi

Truth be told, we were on the fence about doing this second tour, even though it was just a 1-day trip. We were a little fuzzy on the specifics - would it be similar to Hang En? Too similar? Did we want to potentially tarnish the fun we had on the first tour, with a potentially mediocre experience the next day?

We overcame the over-thinking and went ahead with the tour, which ended up being (of course) the absolutely right thing to do. It was an even earlier pickup than the first tour, and we had the same breakfast we did the first morning at Ho Khanh’s Homestay - fried noodle with eggs, tea and some fresh mango. I realize now that I forgot to highlight our host Duc, who was the nephew of Ho Khanh and managed the entire homestay. He was a great and had an awesome energy (regardless of whatever time we saw him). I especially appreciated the conversation after we found the massive spider the first morning.

Amanda: “Good morning Duc! So we found a huge spider in our room.”

Duc (smiling): “Ooooooh...really? You okay?”

Amanda: “Oh yeah we’re fine, but I figured you should know.”

Duc (laughing nervously): “Hahahah...yeah....it’s okay! He friendly!”

And then 5 minutes later:

Duc: “Was the spider inside the room? Or outside the room?”

Amanda: “Inside the room, on the window.”

Duc: “Oooooh.....hahaha okay!”

We were picked up by another Oxalis tour guide that morning named Vu, in what I believe I was a nice Toyota RAV4. Expecting another small bus to show up with a bunch of other tourists, we were pleasantly surprised to find out that we were actually the only people on the tour that day. We were driving about an hour away, to a different cave system in a completely different area. Tu Lan is not a national park, but it was equally inspiring as the park in Phong Nha.

Along the drive, we took a highway that Vu told us was running along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, and then he proceeded to dive into some Vietnam War trivia. That was one thing I was curious about, to hear their perspective and see how they react to foreigners, and Americans in particular. Granted, as tourists they were only going to give us so much information, but the way that Tha put it the day before, “For a while, the older Vietnamese generation was angry at Americans. But after a while, we decided to change our minds. And we said, okay, we should be friendly with Americans now.” In these smaller towns, tourism has actually been well-received, as it has provided lots of jobs and opportunities for the local people. I only hope that the goodwill that we experienced during our time there will remain, and grow into the future.

Just before we arrived at the headquarters in Tu Lan, we encountered a very muddy stretch of the road that had actually handicapped an Oxalis van, carrying a few tour guides (including Tha) who were going to the headquarters for a training session. Apparently a bridge had been in place previously, but over the years it had started to deteriorate until it was finally taken down to make way for a new bridge to be constructed. But at that moment, we were between bridges - bring on the mud. The van eventually managed to squirm its way up the little slope leading back to the main road. More on this mud zone later.

There was some light drizzle on and off throughout the day (hence the mud), but obviously not enough to deter the tour from happening. We made it to the headquarters, where we got situated and received an abbreviated safety briefing from Vu (”you guys know all this stuff already, so we’re good”). And then the three of us started trekking towards the caves.

For any cinephiles who are reading this, much of the recent King Kong movie “Skull Island” was filmed in this region. While that was generally used as a selling point on the Oxalis website, Vu seemed only mildly amused by the connection (”I haven’t even seen the movie!”). I actually did see the movie, and while I wasn’t nearly geeking out over being on location where they shot the film, it was pretty fun to imagine a huge gorilla and a huge dinosaur battling amongst the hills and rivers around us.

But humongous creatures aside, it was clear why the filmmakers were attracted to this area. It had a sense of mystery and wonder that kept me intrigued the whole day. I’m sure the vibe would have been completely different in the summer, with blue skies and sun, but I’m happy that we experienced this place in the exact state that we found it.

A long, flat walk amongst rice and peanut fields (and a whole lot of water buffalo) led us to our first river and then eventually our first cave. The caves we explored on this day were nowhere near the magnitude or scope of Hang En, but they still had plenty to offer. If anything, it made me want to go watch the Planet Earth “Caves” episode again, which I’m sure I had not nearly appreciated enough the first time.

As the day went on, I grew more and more thankful that we hadn’t decided to pull the plug on the tour. This experience was so different than Hang En - not just the setting, or the caves. The fact that it was just me, Amanda and Vu (and an occasional porter or chef) gave us the chance to really appreciate the solitude and the majesty of the Tu Lan area. Rather than a handful of tour guides shepherding a group of random assorted tourists, it just felt like a few buddies taking a walk through the jungle, stopping at times to admire crazy stalactite formations, local cows that crept up to within a couple feet of our trail, or super dark cave ladders like this one:

(dub step analogy ahead): This small section of the trip could have been considered the Build, if our lunch campsite was the Drop (sorry). We had to climb down that (clearly) not well-lit ladder, which led to a dark cave within the river that we canoed down for a few minutes before being spit out at this beautiful little nook:

The campsite was at the far end of this little lake, and we relaxed for a bit while the sky tried to figure out if it wanted to rain, or just seem threatening. Again, lunch was a delicious combo of spring roll/bánh mì fixings (assembly required). Another highlight of this day was having an uninterrupted opportunity to talk with and learn about Vu, our guide. He was from the city of Hue, where his parents had owned a coffee shop. After school, he decided to move to Phong Nha to escape the hustle of the big city. Naturally, he said the instant coffee that was more easily found in these rural areas didn’t really get the job done for him (”I drink 6 cups a day, and feel nothing”). He told us about his first experiences with Oxalis, when he was the only applicant who didn’t speak English, but he was a good enough swimmer that they brought him on for training. The caving experts that train the guides are all based in the UK, which explained Vu’s fairly consistent British accent. When asked what country he would most like to visit (he had never left Vietnam), he replied “America” without too much hesitation. Why? “Because you can make money there.”

After lunch, we took a slightly more perilous route back down to the main trail, up and over a steep hill complete with spiky, slippery rocks. Thankfully nobody got themselves hurt - just very muddy. As we found flat ground again and reached our final river crossing (heading back to the headquarters), I paused for a few seconds, mid-river, letting the water wash the mud out of my shoes and feet. I tried to breathe slowly and let the moment sink in, and not just take this last wet river crossing for granted. People may wonder (especially the locals) why city dwellers from halfway around the world would pay money to walk around in the jungle, through the mud, over hills with sharp rocks, getting sweatier and dirtier by the minute. An easy answer would be “to feel alive”. But I think more than that, it was “to remember what life is, and what it can be”. In a place such as New York City, it’s very easy to get wrapped up in your day-to-day life, and oftentimes global happenings outside of the five boroughs only register as a blip on your News App. The day that I started to travel more frequently for music, my relationship to New York City - and the world as a whole - changed dramatically. To put oneself in a situation such as this river, this jungle trek - I looked at it as a self-inflicted reminder, to stay humble, and to always appreciate the lifestyles and customs of other people around the world. Just because they do things differently than us, doesn't mean that they aren’t as passionate about life and invested in what they do. And that’s something I can always respect.

A return to headquarters was capped off with a most-welcome hot shower at a stall that was set up about 50 yards from the main building. At this point, my trusty New Balance sneakers had, sadly, started to kick the bucket. The tread had started to peel off the bottoms of the shoes, and I could almost hear them yelling, “Come on man, give us a break!” So I donated them to Vietnam, and Vu said he would keep them at the headquarters, just in case somebody with huge feet showed up one day and needed to borrow a pair for their own excursion.

Although had I known what was coming up next, I might have held onto them a little while longer. Remember the muddy stretch of road that we passed in the morning? As we approached it on our return to Phong Nha, we were held up by a couple of people who were helping to guide a vehicle coming up from the opposite way. Turns out, that vehicle was a big tractor with BIG wheels. We all had the same thought instantly, fearing that the BIG wheels had left some DEEP grooves in the mud, and if our RAV4 managed to slip into those grooves, we might get stuck.

Well guess what - that’s exactly what happened. Despite our driver’s best efforts, we were squirming along the muddy decline, trying to drive in between those grooves without falling into them. But everyone knew the moment that the wheels slipped, and we were just stuck. Long story short, the Oxalis van that needed rescuing in the morning came to our aid, and a coalition of myself, Vu, Tha and the van driver managed to push the RAV4 from behind, eventually giving it enough leverage to snarl out of the grooves, nearly drive off the side of the road, and then finally clamber back up the incline on the other side. All the effects of the hot shower were completely erased by the splattering and the (slowly drying) mud cakes covering my feet and sandals. But after the initial discomfort, I thought - why not? I spent the whole day trekking through mud, so it only seemed appropriate (in hindsight) that I would re-muddy myself with a few Vietnamese dudes, shoving a car out of a ditch. It was like an added authentic bonus to the tour that Oxalis had been keeping a surprise. (Although I’m sure they aren’t trying to make a habit out of this.)

We eventually made it back to Phong Nha, where we gathered ourselves at a chic little restaurant on the main strip near our bus stop. In my scheduling madness, I had booked a sleeper bus from Phong Nha to Hanoi, which was an 8-9 hour drive. This way, we could get to our final destination by midday the following day, and also didn’t have to worry about a hotel for that evening. Dinner was surprisingly good (didn’t expect that I would be eating wood-fired pizza in Vietnam), and then when the bus finally showed up, we entered what would be one of the more hilarious nights of our trip - and maybe our lives?

Hilarious could be the wrong word - maybe strange, special, a little nerve-wracking? Some combination of all those things. I have no photos of this bus, but Amanda summed it up the best halfway through the drive, when she half mumbled to me, “If I just pretend like I’m on the Knight Bus from the Harry Potter movie, I’m good.”

Facing the back of the bus from the front, there were three rows of double-decker bunks. Not 180-degree flat bunks, but more like the passenger seat of a car, folded as far back as it can go. Add a little plastic case surrounding the bottom and sides of the chair (imagine the material from a Fisher-Price jungle gym), and that’s what the sleeping situation was like. They were most definitely one-shooters, so Amanda and I found neighboring bunks.

Once we got going, it became quickly apparent that the bus drivers (there were two that alternated during the drive) were not too interested in the notion that people were trying to sleep. Honking, speeding, swerving, revving, spitting out the window - all was fair game. In hindsight it was hilarious - I mean, what more was I expecting at $14 a ticket for an overnight bus ride? - but at the time, there were a few moments where I had to question whether or not I had made the right decision.

Regardless, we made it to Hanoi somewhat alive, and after a brief stop to gather our bearings at a nearby hostel, we embarked on Phase 2 of our journey that day - to Cat Ba Island!

[themanofonebook]

—Why do you have Javert be non-religious?

—This is going to become very long very quickly.

I know that, in the musical and movie, Javert is portrayed as incredibly religious, which makes me cringe a bit; not because religion is a bad thing, not at all, but because it makes Javert’s duty seem like a mission for God, which waters down his character — Javert was serving the law because it was his only option, but also because he truly, deeply believed in Justice and fairness, even if he wasn’t merciful. The two are often seen to go hand in hand; not so with Javert, but you lose that in the musical/movie and it brought me down a bit, I’ll admit.

Firstly, it’s good to remember what book we’re reading. Les Misérables has heavy religious themes, and that’s an understatement. The Amis are religious, we have Sister Simplice (we’ll get to that, don’t worry), and, most importantly, Jean Valjean and the Bishop. Now, Valjean and Javert are supposed to offset one another while being the same in many ways: they are two sides of the same coin. Therefore, it can be assumed that they are both doing the right thing in their own manner; Valjean, with God; Javert, with the law; and we have seen that Jean Valjean often serves God with the absence of doing what is lawfully acceptable, so can it not be assumed that Javert is serving the law with the absence of religious influence?

Then there is the way that Javert looks upon Madeleine. It is not with the “eyes of God”, as it was with the Bishop and the candlesticks; his are the eyes of the law, Earth’s justice, nothing Heavenly (nor anything particularly devilish, as many might think; remember that Javert is not malicious, Hugo makes that as clear as possible in his character introduction), but constantly watching nonetheless. It’s a sort of yin-yang, a dog chasing its tail — you need both to make a circle, and without one (the law, or the lawless; justice without religious morals or religious morals without justice), you would come to a standstill.

Then we have Javert with religious context in the book. The book with one huge theme being the glory of God. Considering this, the times when Javert and religion are at play and Valjean is absent are… few. Let’s look at one, during Fantine’s arrest.

“Come!” said Javert, “I have heard you out. Have you entirely finished? You will get six months. Now march! The Eternal Father in person could do nothing more.”

At these solemn words, “the Eternal Father in person could do nothing more,” she understood that her fate was sealed. She sank down, murmuring, “Mercy!”

Javert turned his back.

Normally, one might interpret this as Javert making a reference to God and therefore showing religious allegiance, but hold for a moment. He is arresting Fantine, sending her to jail for six months. She just spewed about half a page or more begging him to release her, taking responsibility for her actions but pleading with him to let her go, because she is already in an unfortunate position. Javert then speaks of “the Eternal Father”, but this is directly after Fantine’s speech; one could see at as him saying that even if God were to depart Heaven, come down from the sky into Javert’s station house, and argue on Fantine’s behalf, Javert still would not budge, because this is what the law dictates. To make this all the more valid, Fantine requests mercy and Javert turns his back on her. There is no room for mercy in the game of lawful right and wrong.

The second occurrence of Javert coming into direct contact of any sort with religion is when he goes in to find Madeleine and instead encounters Sister Simplice.

Javert caught sight of the nun and halted in amazement.

It will be remembered that the fundamental point in Javert, his element, the very air he breathed, was veneration for all authority. This was impregnable, and admitted of neither objection nor restriction. In his eyes, of course, the ecclesiastical authority was the chief of all; he was religious, superficial and correct on this point as on all others. In his eyes, a priest was a mind, who never makes a mistake; a nun was a creature who never sins; they were souls walled in from this world, with a single door which never opened except to allow the truth to pass through.

On perceiving the sister, his first movement was to retire.

The “ecclesiastical authority” was the chief of all. God? Not quite. It states that he is religious… in this point. In the honoring of members of the Church, all of whom adhere to his idea of order. While there was some separation of Church and State at this point (the King was appointed and had not derived the right to rule from God), it was not extreme, and he would still hold a veneration for those who devoted their entire lives to their purpose — like Sister Simplice, who had never told a lie. Ecclesiastical is “of or relating to the Christian Church or its clergy”; so it is not God whom he holds this admiration for, but the people of the Church… of which it is never mentioned that he is a part of, and we can deduce that he is not.

Nuns and priests, in his (slightly naive) mind, are people who trumpet only truth, and we have seen that Javert is a thoroughly honest man. They are “walled in from this world”, they are not tainted (as Javert perceives himself to be) by the dregs of society, or by criminality; the proverbial “gutter”.

I think that the deciding factor in this passage concerning, “Is Javert a religious man?”, is his first response to seeing Sister Simplice. Were he a member of the Church, even seeing a nun praying, he would wait until she was done and then approach her. He does not do this, no; he withdraws almost instantaneously; then he moves forwards, becausethe law compels him to do so. No matter his respect for Simplice, he is going to do exactly as his duty demands of him.

And then we come to “Javert Derailed”.

As opposed to posting a passage as I have before, I’m just going to run along and thread in quotes as they are needed. Javert is moving towards the Pont au Change (notably between the Palais de Justice and the Notre-Dame Cathedral), and, in leaving Valjean’s doorstep, he has “ceased to be simple”. Hugo has always described Javert as having a “simplistic mind”, as well as a “narrow forehead”; whereas others who have wider brows often are both religious and worldly in their views. Javert’s mind is no longer as clear-cut as it once was.

I said we weren’t going to do big passages but then we come to this:

All sorts of interrogation points flashed before his eyes. He put questions to himself, and made replies to himself, and his replies frightened him. He asked himself: “What has that convict done, that desperate fellow, whom I have pursued even to persecution, and who has had me under his foot, and who could have avenged himself, and who owed it both to his rancor and to his safety, in leaving me my life, in showing mercy upon me? His duty? No. Something more. And I in showing mercy upon him in my turn—what have I done? My duty? No. Something more. So there is something beyond duty?” Here he took fright; his balance became disjointed; one of the scales fell into the abyss, the other rose heavenward, and Javert was no less terrified by the one which was on high than by the one which was below. Without being in the least in the world what is called Voltairian or a philosopher, or incredulous, being, on the contrary, respectful by instinct, towards the established church, he knew it only as an august fragment of the social whole; order was his dogma, and sufficed for him; ever since he had attained to man’s estate and the rank of a functionary, he had centred nearly all his religion in the police. Being,—and here we employ words without the least irony and in their most serious acceptation, being, as we have said, a spy as other men are priests. He had a superior, M. Gisquet; up to that day he had never dreamed of that other superior, God.

This new chief, God, he became unexpectedly conscious of, and he felt embarrassed by him. This unforeseen presence threw him off his bearings; he did not know what to do with this superior, he, who was not ignorant of the fact that the subordinate is bound always to bow, that he must not disobey, nor find fault, nor discuss, and that, in the presence of a superior who amazes him too greatly, the inferior has no other resource than that of handing in his resignation.

But how was he to set about handing in his resignation to God?

At this point I don’t think I really need to say anything else, so I’ve bolded all of the important points.

In summary:

Javert is religious because society tells him that respect for the Church is necessary.

However, most of Javert’s “religious inclination”, or the need to follow something by-the-book, without wavering, with the utmost devotion, is dedicated to the law.

While respectful towards members of the Church, he does not allow that veneration to stand in the way of obeying the law.

He is meant to offset Valjean in that Valjean is all morals with little societal conscience, and Javert is all societal conscience with few morals — morals in the spiritual sense, as we remember that Javert is not violent, nor does he lie; he simply does not expend kindness or mercy because he views it as dirtying that which is just.

He will still bow to any superior when presented with him; it just so happens that this superior is God, and on a higher level than any that Javert has ever known. It says that his scales are unbalanced, with one shooting up towards the heavens, the other down… towards the river; beforehand, they would have been level with the Earth. Javert, with his narrow worldview, would have only focused on what was before and around him, not above or below.

He does not commit suicide because of any religious urgings, but because God is on such a level that he views his own death as the only acceptable means of repentance.

Ergo, Javert is about the closest thing to an agnostic or atheist that we’re going to see in a work of 19th century literature who is not a villain… in the Christian sense. We don’t know if he held any other religious views that would coincide with his heritage.

I think about this too often.

[onceuponahappytime]

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Sara!! I wish you all the good and wonderful there is in the world for your birthday!! I love you so much!!

As a little present I wrote for you, a little different version of what happens after this hug. A version with a happy ending for our Queen and Savior. I hope you like it!

Love you so much my precious cupcake!!  @reginandemma

 Love will find its way

Regina forces a smile, forces kind words, forces a hug when she hears the oh so great new.

Emma is getting married.

She hugs the blond woman pretends to happy for her, happy for her and that pirate.

But pretend is all she can do.

Because her heart breaks, shatters into a million pieces at the those words

Hook proposed

She is too late, waited too long. Waited too long to tell the woman in front of her that she lovesher.

Regina herself can’t understand how it happened. How she fell for the woman she hated with every fiber of her being. Hated for taking away what she loved most.

Henry.

But things changed. Changed when Emma started to fight by her side instead of against her. Changed when they became family instead of enemies.

And somewhere along the way Emma found her way into Regina’s heart. Sneaked up on her with her disarming charm not being intimidated by the whole Evil Queen armor.

Emma is probably the last person she imagined she would fall for. Emma is loud and direct, speaking her mind consequences be damned. A fighter, a survivor; not afraid to get her hands dirty. Someone who lives her life on far different parameters and guidelines than Regina has.

They are so different and still so similar.

Both scarred by their past, both far too familiar with the dark sides of life.

Familiar with the feeling of not being wanted. Of not being loved. Of not being good enough.

Of doing the wrong thing for the wrong reasons.

Despite all of this Emma kept her laugh, kept a lightness under all the pain. Something Regina buried far too deep. Far too deep till Henry found a way to reawaken a part of her she thought she lost long ago.

A part of a woman long lost.

But Henry and later Emma and Snow and Charming kept fighting for that part to resurface. And they won fight.

Regina won that fight.

And regained the ability to smile again.

If the whole deal with her evil – well not so evil half anymore showed her something than how far she has come.

Something her entire family played a huge part in but with Emma is always has been special.

Special because Emma actually understands. Understands the darkness, the pain and maybe most importantly the anger. And she helped her work through it, had faith in her when she needed it most.

Always trying to make up for the one time Emma did lose faith in her.

So yes Regina loves Emma Swan.

Something what won’t matter much, not when the sheriff does go through with this wedding.

A wedding Regina would give anything to stop, but she lost that right. Lost it when she wasn’t brave enough to tell the other woman how she felt.

So all Regina says is

“Oh Emma I’m happy for. I really am.”

Emma knows Regina, at least she likes to think she does after everything she and the former queen went through. She sometimes still can’t believe that Regina and she are where they are with each other.

Remembers the time when Regina was public enemy number one, where she spent her time trying to defeat a woman she thought was soulless

God how wrong has she been.

The more she got to know Regina the more surprised she became. Surprised at the loving and caring side of the mayor, the big heart the woman formerly known as the Evil Queen has.

Of course she could be an asshole. A huge one actually. But Emma since then kind grown fond of Regina’s sass and them teasing each other. It makes life interesting.

Well that and her eating habits have slightly improved since Regina came into her life. Not that Emma would ever turn down a bear claw but she might agrees to eat salad at least once a week

She has to be a good role model for Henry after all. And even if she pretends she hates all that rabbit stuff and keeps complaining to Regina about it she does has to admit it isn’t all that bad.

Not that she ever would Regina let know that.

Speaking of letting Regina know…

Emma gets Regina, always has. Despite their different upbringings she gets her. And has become very good in reading her. Which is why she can tell that Regina’s words aren’t real. Can see the smile that doesn’t reach the mayors chocolate colored eyes.

The hug is short but like always when they touch Emma feels sparks, a chemistry, a need to keep touching.

Emma then quickly shakes her head, she is about to marry Hook and she’s happy. She is. She loves him

Emma just doesn’t understand why none of this feels right, why she isn’t as happy as she should be.

Regina is a good friend that’s all. A friend she cares a great deal about.

But its Hooks she loves. Hook that is her happy ending.

Right?

Love will find its way - Part 2

Here is part 2 of your little gift. Enjoy dear! And never forget you are AMAZING

Part 2

Regina is in her vault starring at the mirror hoping it would give her answers. Without Sidney the mirror however remains quiet. The only other being in the vault besides her is Pongo sitting at her feet. Regina has no idea how he got in here but his presence calms her.

So it’s just her and the dog.

But Regina starts talking anyway needs somebody to listen how she feels, needs to let it out before she explodes.

Bad things happen when she does.

“You know what the first thing was that I noticed? Her eyes. Not just because they were colored in the most beautiful shade of green I’ve ever seen but because they had a spark in them.”

Regina chuckles to herself, remembering the first time her and Emma Swan’s eyes met.

“They were so full of life you know. So different than my own.”

She pets Pongo thinking back.

“I could see the pain in them too but somehow she pushed through it. Somehow she could still smile, really smile. A beautiful smile.”

“Well and then she started talking with that big mouth of hers never knowing when it was best to keep it shut. No matter what I threw at her she always had to punch back. She was the first one not afraid to fight back, not afraid to ask questions no matter how uncomfortable the answer might be.”

Regina sighs deeply before she continues ignoring that she just pours her heart out to a dog.

“Emma kept pushing and somehow she saw something inside me worth fighting for. Don’t ask me what the hell she thought she saw back then. Idiot.”

Regina says the word idiot with the utter most affection angrily wiping a tear away.

“You know Pongo I was so angry at her, for trying to take away Henry. We both made mistakes then but she was the first who tried to make up for them. Who was sorry for hurting me, truly sorry.”

“We went through so much together and …I honestly don’t know when I started to feel more for her, I just know that she is the first person in a very long time I can feel safe with. Who can make me laugh and knows who I was and isn’t scared, who doesn’t run away.

“I love her Pongo.”

“And I even started to like the hideous red jacked she wears. And its really ugly.”

“It’s a great jacket just so you know. Far better than your fancy pantsuits that scream uncomfortable”

Regina visibly jumps when she hears Emma voice and has to swallow hard when he turns around and the other woman stands in front of her, with red leather jacket and all

“Emma I-…?”

Archie asked Emma to look for Pongo and a locator spell brought her right to Regina’s vault. She went down hearing Regina’s voice chuckling about the fact that Madame I do not like pets Mayor has such a connection to that dog

A dog she is apparently having a conversation with.

But nothing could prepare Emma for what she would hear, what conversation she eavesdropped on.

Regina loved her. Really loved her. The way the other woman has spoken about her, the admiration, the kindness….no one ever said those things to her. Well technically Regina told all of this Pongo not Emma but the point still stands.

And that it hits her, it’s really like in those damn romantic books Emma despises so much and everything suddenly makes sense.

Emma doesn’t understand why it took her so long to realize it. Realize what Regina seems has picked up long before her.

The fact that Regina isn’t the only one that is in love and that the person Emma is about to marry isn’t the one who has her heart. At least not in the way Regina does.

Emma does care, maybe even loves Hook but it’s not the same. It’s not the same and Emma is done running from her feelings.

So she steps up and takes a chance. Takes the courage she didn’t have in the past and maybe tis making things official with Hook that pushes her over the edge

“Emma I -…,” but Emma doesn’t let Regina finish and  - as always- just acts based on instinct.

Acts and presses her lips onto Regina’s lips finding each other in a long overdue kiss.

Regina tastes like apple and Emma almost chuckles at that if she wouldn’t be too busy kissing the other woman senseless.

And fuck does it feel good.

The kiss ends far too quickly Regina looking up at her dark eyes wide and confused

“Emma? I don’t understand..?”

“That makes two of us. I heard you and I…I just had to kiss you.”

“You are about to marry the pirate Miss Swan remember?”

“I know and I really thought it was the right thing to do but…”

“No, Emma.”

“What do you mean no? I heard you Regina, I heard every word?”

And somehow Emma can’t stop smiling when she thinks about them.

“You weren’t supposed to hear them. You are getting married and it seems you are getting cold feet, looking for a way out. And I can’t be your get a way car Emma.”

Emma looks at Regina sees the pain in her eyes and understand. People like her and Regina are used to second choice, used to be abandoned and the mayor despite everything still doesn’t really believe she deserves love.

“Besides the fact that I think you just compared yourself to a car I promise you Regina this isn’t about that. You are right I usually ran away as soon things get serious but…you aren’t the only that has changed since the day we met you know? I thought that what Hook and I have is…you know love and it might actually be something like this but…it’s not enough.”

Emma fights to find the right words, to make the other woman understand

“The things you said about me…the way you see me, the way you get me…Hook tried, he really did but he doesn’t understand. You understand how it is to be rejected and misunderstood. And somehow this makes us unique, maybe even special.”

“When I first came to Storybrook I hated you and I don’t have a fucking idea when I changed from I want to fucking punch you to I…

Emma hesitates a moment but she knows it’s now or never.

“To I love you.”

She can hear how Regina’s sucks in her breath at her words can see hope slowly growing in those captivating dark eyes.

“I fell in love with you Regina. I love you. I love the way your eyes show everything you feel – you really shouldn’t play poker Madame Mayor you would suck at it, “Emma ads with a playful grin

“I love how incredible brave you are, how you don’t take shit – “, Regina mutters a quiet: “Language dear, “but the sheriff just keeps talking:” –how you never give up. I love what a fucking amazing mom you are and I really really love your cooking skills because we both know mine are terrible.”

Emma goes another step forward suddenly feeling a self-confidence she never had before when dealing with such dangerous words.

Words like love

“I know who you were and you know who I was. We both changed a lot since we first met and I’m kinda fucking proud of that. You know what I feel and I know what you feel and no matter if you still want me or not I can’t marry Hook. If I would’ve been honest with myself I would’ve known that the moment he put that ring on my finger but as you so often say…I can be an idiot.

Regina doesn’t know what to say can only start in those beautiful green eyes, green eyes so full of honesty and maybe it’s because its Emma and Emma always helped her being brave Regina nods.

She is terrified, scared out of her minds to be left behind after all, to get opening herself up thrown right back into her face.

Love again Regina

Daniel’s words she never could get out of her head. Daniel always wanted what was best for her, maybe it is time that she listens to him, that she takes the risk

“I’m a difficult person to love Emma,” Regina reaches out stroking Emma’s cheek, startling as Emma’s hand suddenly holds hers.

“I don’t care what fucked up words your mother or whoever planted in your head Your Majesty…but you are actually pretty easy to love. I’m not saying it’s gonna be all rainbows and unicorns, despite all we are still fucked up but maybe…we could be fucked up together. You and I and the kid. Well and by now I think Mom and Dad wouldn’t be too shocked by it.”

For a moment Regina allows herself to chuckle about the face Snow and David are going to make when they hear that their daughter fell in love with the Evil Queen.

A moment till she remembers that she isn’t the Evil Queen anymore and that Snow and David are family.

“For once you might be right.” Regina just smiles a bit at Emma’s eye roll but knows she is indeed not wrong. She knows that Henry would be happy - if he wouldn’t she wouldn’t ever consider any of this – and she knows by now- as crazy as it sounds – so would Snow and Charming.

They really come along way.

The only person standing in the way of your happiness is you, Regina.

Mother’s voice in her head is the last push Regina needs.

Needs to be brave

“Okay”

“Okay what?”

But this time Regina doesn’t answer and just takes a step forward and presses her lips onto Emma’s deepening the kiss when she feels the other woman respond to it.

They kiss and kiss, hands finding their way into dark curls and blond waves and they kiss.

A kiss that marks the beginning of something both women worked so hard for.

A second chance.