#because i'm working all day sunday
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Oh. Oh no. Could it already be..? Why yes, yes it was. Copperhead sighs, pressing two scaly fingertips to the bridge of his nose - not that doing so would help the bouquet of aromas currently flooding his senses. Valentine's Day was coming, but that wasn't the problem. Beyond the sickeningly sweet scent of flowers and chocolates, he could smell that spring was on the way and if it was like all the previous years, he was in for a rough couple of weeks.
#🐍 || musings#People only have to worry about Valentine's Day but Copperhead has the first few weeks of spring to get all hot and bothered#Cold winters and brumation only makes things worse#A slave to his instincts really#But spring is a HORRIBLE time for Copperhead because all those instincts are a huge distraction in his line of work#Feeling the sun on his scales again is nice but those urges are not#Spring: 🌞🌾🌱🌷🌼🐸 🌸 🌈#Snake instincts: 👀#Just a quick funny bc I'm working Sunday too >:)
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next week we're going into the peak of our conference season (starting on wednesday we'll have 6 conferences in 11 days) and our department's website decided to act up this week so we have to use workarounds for everything and still the most cosmically unfair part to me is that satisfactory 1.0 launches the day before everything gets the most busy which means i absolutely cannot play it for the next two weeks or i will be exhausted and get zero work done
#i was watching the final update/1.0 teaser over lunch today and it looks so good :(#but i know myself. i will stay up stupid late to play it and i'll just be even more exhausted during this hell week (hell fortnight)#at the end of that though i'll be owed two days off (bc i'm working two saturdays) and THEN i can go ham#i am trying to relax this weekend and not think about next week. it'll be fine. there's a lot of stuff happening but it's all workable.#i'm trying not to think of it as 11 days because the first week is the hardest part and the second week will be longer but simpler#and we do have the sunday off in the middle. last year it was actually 11 straight days#we have to find a way to not do this next year though. i feel like for two years we've been like 'this is terrible and we shouldn't allow#conferences to happen on the same day as much as we can' but then when course directors come to us with overlapping dates we never push bac#people come to us late but with plans and our dept heads don't want to say no so we just schedule them anyway#i get that it's revenue for us. we can't just say no completely. but i think we can definitely push harder on the scheduling front#anyway. it's 5:30 i'm going to stop talking about work#j rambles
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Song of the Day: May 3
"Life Less Frightening" by Rise Against
#song of the day#'I don't ask for much / truth be told I'd settle / for a life less frightening'#another song that when I sing it alone it doesn't sound much like the original but I do so like to sing it#check me stirring my roux humming 'these lives we live test negative for happiness' sweetly to myself#today was Friday and I'm still trying to decide if I'm satisfied with the amount of work I got done this week#I suppose I'll have to be#I had my weekly report meeting and again the updates my boss asked for in the meeting were not the ones she asked me to prepare#so I split-screened her and delivered the prepared updates as I frantically opened and updated the new request#and then when she finished making politely falsely interested sounds (I'm not bitter I'm not I'm not) she asked again for the new update#and by then I had it ready! saved it as I brought up the share-screen and showed it to her#too frustrated in the moment to be properly proud of myself but now it's hours later and I'm feeling a little smug about it#little back-pats for me#I have something like a project timeline worked out for the idiot project#and I did some good work in the garden (nasturtium growing up the post under the bird feeder. very pleased it took the transplant so well)#and I sooooort of sorted the freezer stuff. kind of. mostly we ate the things I wanted to rearrange but I've got a plan for moving forward#the last non-work thing I'd really wanted to accomplish this week was getting my queue set up again here#I've gone through my drafts and done some prep but as you can see the queue isn't actually running again yet#hopefully I'll do that tomorrow. we'll see how it goes#the queue may have to wait until Sunday because I must confess if I can accomplish only one single solitary thing tomorrow#I would like it to be six hours of uninterrupted sleep. may it please the gods I shall rest tomorrow. blessed weekend#edit: wait wait I'm a fool I'm a fool I just typed 'May 3' and still I am a fool#it's May the Fourth!!#happy star wars day my loves if I don't get the queue up today after all#it's because I'm reshuffling everything because I've got a new influx of SW posts to distribute!!
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Being an adult is realizing that most Black Friday sales.... aren’t... really... sales...
#personal#I want to go shopping so bad today but I can't motivate myself to be one of those people.#And looking at my emails I'm like 'Most of these aren't literally sales...'#And it's supposed to rain this morning in my area so that definitely doesn't help motivate to like get out of bed at all.#I don't know. Working in customer service I should be thankful I have off today.#Like my days off are Fridays and Sundays (which Sundays I don't choose because we're closed) and that DOESN'T change at all.#Like if a major holiday happened to fall on either of those days and we were open? Well lucky me. I got the day off.#And because Black Friday is well on a Friday... :)#It's SO weird having two days off in a row (yesterday for Thanksgiving and now today). I'm not used to it.
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japanese medical negligence will drive you to american without health insurance behaviors
#hi hi hello tumblr#my migraines came back with a vengence#i didn't realize it for the 10 years i've had them#but i am pretty sure they were hemiplegic this whole time#got weakness and numbness down one side of my body from my first migraine ar 12 or 13#and just thought that was normal migraine with aura#others on my dad's side of the family (the white people) had sever migraines too so i grew up thinking it was normal#come to think of it in 10 years even an introvert like me has met 20-30 people with migraine and none of them had symptoms like mine#well this time i had leg numbness and weakness to the point of foot drop start on sunday#puking intensely wednsday - thursday#the headache finally came friday#blurred vision throughout...but i had a prolonged aura w out headache last month that didn't quite resolve#headache and nausea and vision has calmed but won't totally go away now#this whole time they worked me up for stroke and autoimmune diseases#and when that comes back normal and i say i'm pretty sure that was all a turbo migraine#the doctor starts googling migraine in front of me and is like well...you have symptoms of it but i don't know#this is a NEURO mind you not a general internist#i begged for him to nuke the way past 3 days status migraine with steroids like in the US#told they don't do that in japan#i asked to try reyvow#no to that because “my other symtoms are worse and that's only for the headache part”#i asked for a headache specialist#told none was available#eventually was kicked to the curb with 10 nausea pills and my records to take somewhere else#my foot perked up a bit after the headache started but is still droopy and weak#when i asked about PT i got “well you can still walk”#and when i said it catches on the ground and i trip sometimes and i can't walk quickly without dragging my leg i was told “well walk slowly#not even recommended home exercises#so now i'm on physical therapy YouTube trying to rehab my own fucking foot drop#i will try to find a neuro who knows about hemiplegic migraine and will treat status migraines agressively
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Things I did to prepare for Key:
brought my laptop to work
put on a movie for one of my classes so I could download the game
-movie was rated R, there were so many tits in my classroom, absolute fuckup
made another class watch a video on youtube and reflect on it, told them I was grading videos from seniors
-put in headphones and started playing the game while 'teaching'
continued playing the game while one of my classes was testing
-pretty sure someone cheated, did not have capacity to care - had already caught someone that morning, didn't want to go through the process again
-lied to them about grading senior papers too
breakfast for dinner
gave my next day's first, third, and fifth periods to a coworker (I didn't have 2nd or 3rd)
fell asleep at work today
(continued to let my class watch the rated R movie so I could actually grade the papers I was supposedly grading before)
#Key#don't tell my boss how badly I halfassed these past couple of days#because from his perspective I'm still pretty on top of things - at least compared to him#he asked to speak with me at the end of the day and I thought a parent had complained about the movie#no - he apologised for not being on top of something I had e-mailed about earlier this week and wanted to check in on it#every time I worry I'm bad at my job there is someone doing a worse job that makes me feel better about myself#I'll eventually post more about the game itself#but I actually do need to get my senior stuff done cause they graduate on Sunday#though I did get my last kid to passing today#now all of my seniors will pass my classes#idk about their others#except for one of them - that has three kids - my seniors needed to pass my classes for graduation#my freshies are not all going to pass#but it's on them#because if you turn in the classwork - even if tests aren't your thing - you will pass#I had a kid last year who will not be earning a diploma and literally cannot read who passed my class#because all you need to do is turn in the fucking work - even if you're getting 30s on tests and your work is crap - just complete it#thanks for reading my rambles this far - I promise I do care so much for my kids#just irritated with a few right now#(before you come for me - I accept late work for partial credit#until the last day of class which is more lenient than the school's policy)
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and if all the people who told you one day it won't hurt all the time and there will be a sunny day and you will be able to notice how beautiful it is were right. what then.
#the number of times over the last week I've nearly burst into tears because I realized I was experiencing joy untempered by sadness!#for the first time in so so long! It's over two years since I've been this at peace!#only by the grace of God am I still here at all#and I don't know I guess I just got used to being miserable but now I'm getting reacquainted with joy.#she's a good and loyal friend and I've missed her dearly.#I think the most peace I've known was on Sunday#It was the two year anniversary of the single worst day of my life#And two years out....I didn't feel like mourning. There's still a sense of loss but what God has given me instead is so much better.#I'm in such a better place mentally and emotionally and even physically with just being safe and being in school and doing well in classes#And I have friends I trust and love and who love me and a balance of work and rest that I never thought I'd have#And in class today we were talking about generalized anxiety disorder which I believe I used to have and...probably don't anymore#Like I used to spend so much time and energy just worrying and then also trying to avoid anxiety attacks and I just...don't anymore#It's been such a slow process and there are of course good and bad days and weeks but overall my brain has healed so much#and realizing that was wild#on healing
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So close to being finished with my post office training! I just have to do my driver's test next Thursday and I'm officially an assistant rural carrier! Which is step one in becoming a full time employee and receiving those sweet, sweet government job bennies. But also, it's a lot of sorting and shit, and tism go brrrrrrrr with that.
#my only concern thus far is i was told yesterday there's a holler in my area where the people will shoot at you if you use their driveway#and then two other homes where you're likely to get shot at#everyone is acting like dogs are the biggest threat#as if I'm not a certified beast master and haven't had to beat up large dogs for attacking my dogs before#I'll take an aggressive dog over a trigger happy hillbilly any day!#they also warned against bees spiders and wasps as if those are even a problem 90% of the time#it's different if you have allergies#but like. wasps just want to see you're not a threat then they stop getting right in your face.#bees don't sting unless they have to#and spiders be chillin#as far as insects go my concern is wheel bugs and assassin bugs because they can carry parasites that k-o you#they also mentioned being aware of bears. but the bears out here are oversized raccoons and run when you raise your voice.#pretty much all the threats boil down to 'have you been outside before? if yes you'll be fine'#they mentioned that you have to piss in the woods on rural routes and the lady leading the class singled me out as being afraid of that#like. you got me wrong girlie. i actually don't mind pissing in the woods and I've gotten great at it over the years.#i have a sticker on my water bottle that says i love peeing outside. and it's not a lie.#there's more a threat of insects on your taint outside. but it's nicer to look at trees while peeing than a wall.#learning my route will also be a challenge because I'm only working Sundays starting out and I'm not from the area#it's also rural so no phone service if i get stuck or need help#but yeah. i think I'm gonna enjoy being outside for work and making a living wage.#the PO I'm at said they'll hire me full time once I've been there long enough to show that I'm a good employee#and they said their people usually only work about 40 hours/wk instead of the standard of 60 because it's a small area compared to others
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Me: I am losing my motivation to write. I am so distracted. I can't even remember what these characters sound like... I am doomed.... At least I only have 40 chapters left... :/ If I can get through that I never have to do this again. I am losing my love for this property. I can no longer even remember how they speak or pick out their characteristics. :( I have no interest in Marvel anymore and I never will again :(. It was fun while it lasted....
Me after I have a hot bath and open up my laptop at the kitchen table: THESE BITCHES??? 🥺🥺🥺 THEY'RE GAY???? and they have a lil baby Sylvie and a Thor??? And they love each other and the littles are menaces??? 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🥺🥺 And in every universe these 4 are built to be a happy found family together and that is so special. Let me write about them in all universes... Let me write about them in every situation and configuration. 💚💚💚💚 I hope after this 40 chapters, the new season will come out and I will be so inspired that there will be another 40 more. 💚💚💚💚
#agere fic inspo#agere fic update#relaxing and taking self care is one hell of a drug#swearing tw#My week this semester looks like this:#Sunday: 4 hours work in the afternoons#Monday: school + work 8AM-6PM gone.#Tuesday: online school#Wednesday: Monday 2#Thursday: finish up online school#Friday: vibe day. Weekend day? Self care#Saturday: family and errands and chores and friends and oh my god all my social life is condensed into 1 day a week#so all my creative energy is packed into Friday nights pretty much is what I'm saying#so I get dramatic because I'm scared#like 'oh no what if I never fall in love with this the same way again?'#and I think that but like....#idk even though I write Miss Peregrines or Transformers or 30 Rock fics anymore#I still love those properties#and I still love P&R and WWDITS#and Good Omens#even if that honeymoon phase is gone (which tbh I don't think it is. I think I'm just working a lot)#I still love and keep up with and get excited about those properties#Hell I even STILL would like to write for these properties#I just... don't because I don't have story ideas#(but if you want to request them 👀)#Like... I'm still thinking about Transformers when I say this#(this is coping btw these tags are me talking to myself don't worry)#I watched that when I was 6. and the 80's series had an upsetting ending and I didn't like any of the other versions#but now that nostalgia is such a big market#I find myself now
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The night is young and I am free to do whatever my heart desires but unfortunately I have once again found myself trapped in the Time Prison and so I
#the good old 'I don't feel like doing anything including doing nothing and I want to go to bed but I know I'm not tired'#WEH.#I'm enjoying typing but I don't want to commit to practicing typing for real so I'm just making excuses to type more#I was looking at custom ESC keycaps because I was thinking about that whole community of ppl obsessed with keyboards and like I get it I#like the clicky clacking and keyboards can look so pretty but some of those key caps man wtf.#why would you want 3D transparent donald duck ESC key from temu what is wrong with you#saw a set of key caps that were little kittys with little kitty ears n I was like fuuuuuuuuuck#49.00 USD probably 100000 CAD+shipping goto helllll#I was thinking about what if I had like confetti keycaps and a custom kittycake esc key or like an actual little cake and matching desk mat#or even just a new cute mousepad cuz mine is old as fuck and I spilled vegetable cream stew on it once#and then I was thinking like sighhh and wouldn't it be cool to have arcade carpet on the stairs leading down to my basement hovel and#rainbow lights along the ceiling corners and what if I painting my bedroom like I wanted to do and sighhhhh#I haven't been wasting my money buying shit like that but I'm thinking about it again.#but the same thing stopping me from doing anything at all is stopping me from wasting my money which like that's good I guess???????#gosh I really like typing why did I stop doing daily typing practice#oh yea The Thing Stopping Me From Doing Anything At All#meow meowm meow meow meow#ok I really gotta tear myself away from my computer and brush my teethses and try going to bed#I already played minecraft earlier it's fine I didn't do NOTHING tonight it just feels like I did#and tomorrow is another day#and next week is a short work week thank fucking christ almighty#literally cuz its easter sunday and he was in that tomb but he escaped or whatever he did#thanks jeezy boy#you maybe shoulda milked it for like half a week at least#moved the big ass boulder like have an inch at a time#*pause for laughter*#that s from my new stand up comedy routine do uiuop like it djfskll;askjdgflksjdflksajdflksjdf the dsjalkjfolidasfgjoiweljsdalkjflskdjflak#meowww#I am the only one I know on here who 'talks' this fucking much about absolutely nothing#I do all this and my poor followers can click read more and spend time reading alllllll this garbage
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i hate working on Saturdays but at least i can be paid to be on FR for hours lmao
we just hired a new person though so cross your fingers that she can get trained onto Saturday shifts soon enough! i'm disabled, i really struggle with working more than the measly shifts i already work ;-;
#saturdays are really the only days my girlfriend and i can do date nights bc she's too tired from working on fridays to go out on fridays#and if i work saturdays i'm too tired from working to do anything#and then that leaves us sunday but she works at 7am the next morning so lol#she works mon-fri 7-4 and does drywall and other construction so she quite literally is very exhausted all of the time#i'm mostly frustrated about the weekends because in my interview i said that i could help cover weekends but i could not regularly work the
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Final builds of demo are exported. I am so tired. Tomorrow I finish the trailer and Sunday I finish the final presentation of the steam page and press submit. Everything going well the demo releases in a week..............
#I have also fucked over my wrists again#going to take a while to recover from this just like when I had to take all those extensions for my finals in grad school#it was mostly a couple days ago I did a long tablet drawing session in really bad ergonomic posture#and after weeks and weeks of working on drying and also at the computer basically non-stop that was just the icing on the cake#I also haven't had the time to practice cello as much and since cello helps build my muscles and gives me some relief thats making it worse#anyway I have my wrist braces on tonight and I'm going to take a ton of breaks tomorrow including cello breaks#and then after it's all done on Sunday I am going to R E S T for A THOUSAND YEARS#like I'm actually using my tablet pen on my phone right now because my hands don't want to hold and type it#good thing I already have all the tools I need to handle my carpal tunnel when it's at its worst though#better to be prepared than not#anyway. regardless of my arms. I have made a thing and I am so excited to unleash it upon the world
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I'm so amped to have the most depressing and sad birthday of my life on Friday 🙏
#Especially because I procrastinated something and have to work on it that day#And my brothers coming to visit the next day but he really came to see his friends and not me#And just. I'm just in the worst frame of mind to turn another year old I'm so full of dread and despair I just don't want it to happen this#Year. Please no can we put it off a bit#And of course I'm not having a party because I haven't had a birthday party since I was 8 so ✌️#I'm just gonna be practicing and feeling stressed and bad#We were maybe going to do some fun stuff but I can't even I have to cancel it because I have Sunday looming over my head#PLUS I have to work all day#I'm just like. I never enjoy them but this year is gonna be particularly bad
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I need things to stop HAPPENING
#nothing's wrong i just seem unable to catch my breath#i work for eight hours and then i have something almost every night when i get home#movie nights or social nights or volunteering nights or nights where i just can't do anything because i had therapy that day#don't get me started on weekends#i volunteer for 2-4 hours on Saturday mornings and i have hangouts on Saturday afternoons and DND on Sundays#and that's without counting any of the many variable things that i may attend on a Saturday#pride is this weekend and don't get me wrong I'm really looking forward to going#but i need like 3 days where i sit in my house and no one asks me to go anywhere#i want to make as many of the volunteer things as i can bc it only happens for about 18 weeks out of the year and there's only 12 left#what about Thursday and Friday you ask? Thursday is also volunteering#because that is when the miniature horses have their classes and what am i supposed to do? NOT go help with miniature horses???#fridays are usually clear except for the occasional hangout#i don't know why i can't seem to keep a balance in my life#es dificil#anyway i have to leave for work thirty minutes early today so i can make it to the barn in time to get the minis ready#yesterday i had to leave two hours early because i had an anxiety attack that lasted well over two hours and persisted through a nap#where is the balance.... i enjoy doing all these things... but my energy doesn't....#anyway i need a rich person to decide I'm entertaining and sponsor me so i only have to work part time and i can do my funny little arts#that seems realistic right?
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also I was hoping that today with all three cake decorators in we could get a decent stockpile going so that tomorrow when I'm by myself on christmas eve I could maybe leave early (since you don't want to overproduce if you're closed the next day), but the decorator that booked off both christmas eve and boxing day called in sick today 🤔 so now the place is barren and I'm starting from basically complete scratch tomorrow
#I spent all day on orders pretty much (usually how it is on weekends) so it was supposed to be two of them filling the showcase#and making extra stuff for me the next day when I'm alone#one can't/won't (? not sure which) work sundays and the other booked it off so I'm alone tomorrow#and tomorrow is going to be another all day orders so sorry if you wanted cake there won't be any#and I can't even be lazy about it bc I work alone on boxing day too so I'm just screwing myself over#I haven't had christmas eve or boxing day off since I've started working here. I was told you aren't allowed to book off christmas eve#I think next year I might request them off. treat myself#we desperately need another part time decorator that will work sundays bc I'm by myself every week#and sundays often have just as many orders as saturdays#and on sunday the case is always empty because people buy everything saturday evening#so this weekend is just the usual I guess except saturday was the 23rd which is always the busiest day of the year so it is extra bad
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Chapters: 14/? Fandom: Dangan Ronpa Series, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Asahina Aoi & Fukawa Toko & Hagakure Yasuhiro & Kirigiri Kyoko & Naegi Makoto & Togami Byakuya Characters: Kirigiri Kyouko, Naegi Makoto, Other Character Tags to Be Added, Asahina Aoi, Fukawa Touko, Togami Byakuya, Hagakure Yasuhiro Additional Tags: Angst, Horror, Psychological Horror, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Supernatural Elements, Ghosts, Grief/Mourning, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Blood and Injury, Fire, Trauma Series: Part 1 of Fire's Ghost Makoto AU
Individual chapter link:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/45707584/chapters/118583371
#makoto naegi#kyoko kirigiri#aoi asahina#byakuya togami#fires ghost makoto au#A day late because I'm a dumbass who forgot how days work#In my defense it was a bank holiday so the stores were all ok Sunday times and I got mixed up#Hope you enjoy#I know atleast 1 person has been waiting for this scene for a while
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