Tumgik
#because i'm always here :D
mobius-m-mobius · 3 months
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You wanna hear a good story? Listen to this one.
Mobius + comfort
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sensitiveheartless · 6 months
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your art makes me wanna overcome my issues and just start creating as well after decades of not being able to. anw, just wanted to say you're an inspiration to me < 3
Aaaa I support!! <3<3<3 I'm really glad I've been able to inspire you! At least in my opinion, creating stuff is always valuable — Art art been very therapeutic for me :0 When I was younger I had a lot of trouble getting myself started on making stuff, and I was very on and off with it, especially during more tempestuous times. It's been about...seven or eight years now since I decided to start drawing every day, and admittedly some days all I have time/energy for is stuff like this:
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But to me it still counts! Even though most of the stuff I draw in my sketchbook never becomes a finished piece, and it's all very messy, it still helps my brain to create it. Even when I just end up making a page of vaguely dinosaur-like creatures and weird little beasts like these ones from recently lol
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Anyway! That was a bit of a ramble, but most importantly: If you do decide to create again, I wish you the best of luck, anon! <3<3<3
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aelswiths · 7 months
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AELSWITH & ALFRED (being SO Married and SO cute 🥺🥰) IN 2x02
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fadefromthelight · 8 months
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I celebrate aro awareness week by making the fandom favs aro
gif version of my header below the cut ^^
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britishchick09 · 1 year
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the ag lineup in the back of claudie's second book! ;D
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originalartblog · 1 year
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Do you mind if people write fics inspired by your art? Like goosamu or the tinies?
I have the same philosophy towards the sharing of ideas in fandom spaces no matter the medium or craft, which is yes!! go!! and it's so much nicer when you cite your source or inspiration. It's like a nod. A handshake. We are playing with the same dolls and I liked your idea enough I want to play with it too. I love having friends to play in the sandbox with. Makes me happy to see them enjoying it :D (so if you post something please think of me. tag me. send it to me. please.)
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sysig · 6 months
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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disposal-blueeee · 1 year
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silly thing i made last night XP
vargas by @zarla-s
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mlobsters · 3 days
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supernatural s1e16 shadow (w. eric kripke)
Dad's vulnerable when he's with us. He's stronger without us around.
#supernatural#spn 1x16#sam and dean#john winchester#sam winchester#dean winchester#by grabthar's hammer this MUST be my last gifset from this episode! dear lord.#supernatural gifs#spn gifs#mygifs#spngifs#long post#there were so many face journeys that i felt were important but i tried to cut it down to the most important ones 🥴#dean is exhausted and seems so defeated admitting that john should leave#in my humble opinion i feel like this was a fairly flimsy reasoning thrown at the issue because jdm wasn't available for much filming#the two times i've just sat and watched the episode - like everyone seems to believe what they're saying - but i don't#like yes. safer. alone. of course??? whatever man. it's a tropey thing you say but i'm not buying it :p#i do buy however that it's the sam and dean show and we got limited jdm time and we need the focus to stay on s&d and get john out for now#and sam seems genuinely really upset that john is leaving - but his words say he's upset that he doesn't get to help catch yed basically#not that it's like... an emotional attachment to being with john? sam's feelings about john are always confusing#but his face is definitely saying it's not just about catching the demon#i don't have anything disparaging to say about john here. who am i? oh. except jdm smiled at weird times with him in this role#and it made him seem kind of... smug to me in a way?? that made me wanna punch him :P#there was one weird smile in this interaction. earlier in the episode there was a lot of what i consider inappropriate smiling LOL
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waytooinvested · 6 months
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Me: I've decided to be the kind of person who doesn't over think my fandom participation and just comments on/replies to/generally engages with content and creators. I LOVE it when people do that with my stuff! There are hundreds of posts out there about how much everyone else also loves it when people do that on their stuff! I'll be spreading the joy!
Also me: ohnowhatifI'mbeingreallyannoyingisitweirdthatIjustdidthatmaybethatpersonthinksI'mcreepynowarghistworepliestoomuchit'stoomuchisn'titIshouldprobablybackoffnow
... What the hell brain? 🙄
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arttsuka · 5 months
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Does anyone else become almost completely dysfunctional when there are other people in the same room? Talking specifically about cooking
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cerealbishh · 5 months
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"Hey, I'm just gonna take these down to the vault."
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memento-mariii · 1 month
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My pet peeve about Forgotten Realms' Drow lore is that despite being told that Drow Society is this super restrictive, matriarchal society with reversed gender roles, we are rarely shown Drow househusbands. In fact, most of the named male Drow characters are portrayed as either career soldiers or arcane spellcasters. This is explained by saying that drow society, as it revolves around the worship of Lolth, regards arcane spellcasting as far inferior to divine spellcasting of clerics, and that while only women are allowed to have high-ranking positions in their armies like the generals and the lieutenants, the grunts and the footsoldiers are mostly composed of men.
My problem with that is..... One, you can't claim that you're reversing the gender dynamic in your fantasy setting and have what's considered to be "a man's work (derogatory)" in said setting be wizardry and the military, two jobs whose real-world counterparts (academia and the military) are *also* considered "a man's job (complimentary)" and are highly male-dominated fields in the real world, come on.
And two, how has this supposedly super-strict matriarchy sustained itself for so long? We've got this class of abused, oppressed, and very rightfully disgruntled gender, many of whom are a. combat-trained and has to vastly outnumber their female superiors, due to how the whole "military hierarchy" thing works, or b. can shoot fireballs and blow up stuff with their minds. Meanwhile, the Drow women mostly stick to religion and politics and lounging about in boudoirs in fantasy dominatrix gear. So what's stopping the men from staging a rebellion? Not to belittle the power that religion and politics hold in a pseudo-feudalistic medieval pastiche society, but I always assumed the reason the church and the crown was so powerful in medieval Europe was because they controlled the military!*
(*don't quote me on this, I'm not a history major)
Look, I don't mind depictions of fantasy bigotry in fiction (I quite enjoy them actually!), and it's possible to reverse the oppressed and the privileged class in a fictional society so that's opposite from real life in a way that it still poses pertinent questions about real-world oppression in our real-world society (e.g. Egalia's Daughters) , but I don't think Forgotten Realms quite manages to do that. If anything, it's weirdly reminiscent of that "feminists don't *actually* want to work jobs, they just want the men to do all the work for them and for women to reap ALL the benefits" antifeminist rhetoric ☹️
(To be clear, I'm not saying that Ed Greenwood and R.A. Salvatorre are misogynists, just that they either were confused about how sexism actually operates in the real world, or that they had some unexamined biases and hangups surrounding feminism that they perhaps failed to address.)
I don't mind fantasy bigotry in my fiction, but I want my fantasy bigotry to be realistic or at least believable, y'know?
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boxwinebaddie · 1 month
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NINAAAAAAAAAAAA? DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE KYLEYB CONTENT? I LOVE HIM
nOOOOOOOOOOOONICA!
-- and do i EVA, dollface!
( edit: the spelling across the board is non-existent. so sorry. you are morally obligated to be nice to me; i have a tumor. also, my apologies for yesterdays post -- it is gone now *shudders at memory* --
i was very manic and upset and the jerseykyle in me that gets angry, really, really is convinced she can kill god...i do think that's still true, but it was very chaotic and embarassing to be like that on the dash.
but if you are worried about the tumor i am trying to have a ( bad ) sense of humor about, again, it’s benign, noncancerous, very, very small, to the point where it requires no surgery or radiation treatment at this time ( i do have a radiology appointment for another brain scan on the 26th so please keep me in ur thots if you can ) and i just have to cope with a lot of gnarly side effects.
i love you and hope you heal. <333 -the u.n.
so...i wrote this weird ~'thing'~ ( i'm not sure what else to call it ) because i was having a very loose and silly-goosed ( but as always, wonderfully and graciously soul-warming ) converslaytion in the dms
with dearest, darlingest teria ( whose work you should not only read and whose art is not only more immaculate than the piss-and-moan-a-lisa, but whose advice, council and conversation i enthusiastically urge you to enlist because she is truly, a little bit of heaven on earth )
and, i don't know, i was doing the silly kyley b voice for shits and giggles in my texts and...it never...left my brain ( is THAT what gave me the brain worms? ) and i had to write my weird ~'thing'~, which is my boy, THE BUOY, kyley bi-atch! talkin’ to the new kid and givin’ them some street-wise, beat-the-shit-out-of-you-poetic advice.
( if you want it...it's down at the VERY BOTTOM -- everyone say hoooola cuervostan ;) xxx -- of this post...i got weirdly passionate talking about kyley b and jersey in general, so you can read all of that if you WANT...but i'll leave the screenshots after everything, so you can scroll down easily and reach it; also...gender neutral, i promise, just girl-scout-squirrely-whirly nicknames, haha. )
cue a future me leaving this here where i left off:
*unfreezes tv screen and a feral past nina springs to life*
also, i am...so sorry in advance for this, bc, okay, look...
-- does he sound like ball bustin', good fa' nothing pauly d, soprano mobstaH? yeah...yeah he sure does, aND WHATTABOUTIT, BETCH?! ( i'm just kidding, you guys; mwah ) but like...is that not The Vibe?
like? he is not supposed to give your rough and tumble ol buddy nino down at the jewish-italian pizzeria who looks like he would rather fkn blow his brains out that take 'ya ordah' ( but loves his ma and his kid brother, and the counter guy got fkn shived, so there he is baby baby;
-- the worst man on planet earth...
…and The LUVH Of My Loife! )
...who repeatedly calls you 'toots', but he's not really hitting on you, he's just trying to size you up ( also, i love you pre-(ed)isordah jersey, the BIGGEST and the baddiest, baby! ah-baddabingbaddaBOOM! )
and he...( quite literally ) wants you to stay the fuck away from him and get the hell out of his shitty city, and, he is THE KYLEY B, BAY-BEE! he's the curliest, cuntiest, coppa'-ist ( do naaaught, howeva, group him in with the bootlickers, or he'll make you lick his...just so HE can call /YOU/ one...like...he is my BF, do you understA-- )
hooOOoo
( i am sorry; he is...my favorite mwob-buoy-bawhss xx )
but...on the inside, underneath it all, really is...just...a fine and truly beautiful specimen, the meaner he is to you, the more you like him...and...you accidentally fall in love with him ( oooY geVAULT! )
that is...in fact, what sweet, sweet stanley marsh did ( he is a genius and a visionary and I RESPECT THE FUCK OUT OF THAT SCARY BOY CRAZY CRUNCHY KALE SALAD KIIIIIIING; like, he really played The Long Game...AND WON!!! HE FUCKING WON, BABEY!!!! like
i have this pre-rm, childhood headcannon, that ( because he was trying not to say stan's name or acknowledge him -- very interesting to me because that is the Same strategy stan employed when he publicly gave kyle the jersey nickname, bc he knew he could not remain detached/unemotional if he said kyle's name --
that babyjk when he lived in south park regularly just called stan 'bambi' or 'sug' or 'masug'; short for 'masugganah' or crazy in yiddish
because rm!santanastan...
( which is what sharon called him, for the band and just to respect his chosen name, in spanish, without alerting randy's suspicions...i will start crying, i should talk abt the south park era of the rm fbs more )
was just this insane boy with gigantic fucking goldfish, cartoon dear eyes who would approach him when no one else would even DARE, was freshly obsessed with him and thought he was the bees knees.
so, because the reader, reminds him a lot of stan...he starts using those little nicknames and i wanted you to know the rm!origin. yes, he does still call stan 'bamb' and 'sug' ( which is cute, because as a nice pet name he likens it to 'sugar' sometimes, aw ) to this day
and i think, almost did it or actually one time with raven of crimson dawn and stan's gigantic fucking sugar glider eyeballs lit up and kyle was HORRIFIED because oh my god, that was a Stanley Marsh ONLY nickname and i used it on this fucking CELEBRITY MAN...like y'know actually bestie, you are a fucking genius…
— that's Your celebrity man.
BUT BACK TO BACK TO KYLEY B, BAAAAAAAAABEY!
who is the red-(H)ead-BIC of NUEW JOISEY, kid!
like my best description is that he's this fast-twalkin, street rat, night life, mortal ( but not really; he basically thinks he's god ) kombative, fucking feral, ruthless palooka-pummeling, curbstomping, pavement leveling, street-fighting piesa' literal gutta trash, or sort of like if luffy from one piece was a mad swole ( emphasis mad, he's pissed and humungous, holy shit ) scary freckled ginger new jersey pirate king
who ( bc i love a visual ) is typically out there, rocking:
a way too tight ( to the point of it almost being threadbare and rolling paper thin; he looks good tho; he's my lil diamond in da ruff ) worn out, extremely stretched out, skin-tight, faded/distressed
( that's fraying and unspooling in several along the mom-mended and barely held-together seams --sounds like a metaphor for something -- with the distracting curly font almost nearly peeled and cracked off ), probably heavily stained ( with blood...and whatever meager, worm-infested brain matta splattered on his shirt when he was bashing some bigshot's stupid head in with a tire iron -- rip; sorry ma -- sunbleached from scorching nj summers that it's almost...brown ) black affliction tank top
some huge, torn-up, baggy, aggresively rhinestone-studded, heavily sequined ( k.b, it's already so hard to see and street hardened, police siren, rough around the edges radiance is already blinding me, please have mercy [ never not once ] ) mike 'the situation' influenced, super quintessentially 2012 jersey shore adjacent ( in that they're very loud, vibrant, in your face, tacky and obnoxious ) faux americana, tattoo parlor-popularized, badly screenprinted, ed hardy jeans ( eyeconick! )
the M-o-s-t ( sigh ) hideous ( and i do mean fucking hideous, sheila broflovski is fashion blind; but she is so beautiful and kind, she is forgiven in every way ) men's size thirteen ( jersey has frighteningly large, monster-sized clown feet ) highlighter green-orange-purple basketball shoes you've ever seen
-- purchased, with love, from the sale rack of ross for dress for less ( where they were collecting dust; no one wanted those things ) and her widely amassment of store credit from...numerous previous returns ) by none other than, my favorite beehive-styling, cherry-red, new jersey hauswife, legendary broflovski matriarch ( she rlly runs that whole fkn house like the navy; choke gerald )
Miss Sheila Broflovski...
the only person who is not scared of the notorious k.m.b. kyley b and routinely, while they're out in public, ft. a baby-faced, mean-mugging kyley b jersey acting all big and bad, will pull him down by the tag of his tank top, go 'you've got some schmutz on your face, bubbula!'
hold down this gigantic, vicious, snarling, menacing, thick as brick, hard as titanium, six foot tall, juvenile detention center frequenting, frightening concrete wall of an eighteen year old boy who looks like he could gut you with his stare alone, like he's a cute, cuddly teddy bear, hawk the loudest, wettest, gnarliest lougie into a schmatta she fished out of her purse and proceed to volently scrub a tiny spot of 'sahwasce' her son's face while he squirms like a feral cat; i love her. )
and the crowning jewels ( or jewels really; not sure if they're real, but they're big and shiny, which is what matters ) duel-ery, which i call that because…
he literally weaves his way through the back-door inner-city system of crime in new jersey through info he mercilessly squeezed out of a coupla peabrained Gabbagoons, uses what little information he could decipher out of those fkn weasel's pathetic wheezes to deadpool square to wherever their bosses lair is…
makes them regret they were even born, beats them with in AN INCH of their sorry life, leaves them lying in a pool of their own gross blood, stamps a big, blingy 'B' on their forehead and browses the shattered, blood-soaked display case and five-finger discounts ( but really, if you just won a major battle or boss fight; clearly, you deserve kind of reward or compensation, right, guys? and by his logic...you're not rlly stealing what quite morally wrong, but rightfully...belongs to you )
...whatever the largest and most impressive ( or not, tbh, sometimes he's like 'ugh, really...a toe ring? that's your big come up?' ) piece of jewelry they're wearing is, sterlizes it, and flexes it it on his body and on the streets as a silent, but deadly warning to all other 'so-called' king pens and 'unstoppable' underground crime lords that
'oh, that guy YOU were scared of? i beat the piss outta him, he cried like a fucking baby, he bled like a stuck pig and is lying in the fucking sewer like a half-dead rat. and if you fuck with me; you'll be next ) and scare legit 60 y/o robert deniro level frightening men, who have been running the game since the crimson dawn of time…
-- Into SUBMISSION.
...at like...seventeen or eighteen years old.
LIKE HE IS A FUCKING LEGEND IN NEW JERSEY. they still whisper about him TO THIS DAY and have to look over their shoulders before they do...like he was that fucking Terrifying when he was out there.
and i need you to know that he is H-U-G-E. like the incredible hulk HUGE. he's not like, this scrawny, gangly, sniveling little ginger vanilla wafer cookie rolling up on you...he is like, this six foot two, gigantic size thirteen shoe wearing, slim-jim-ripping, gum and fist snacking,
NFL FOOTBALL FIELD PLAYER WIDE, like not just some measly, tiny-itsy bitsy football player -- oh, no; you wish -- he is STACKED AND JACKED, he is ten times wider than the widest receiver...he is the WHOLE DAMN FOOTBALL FIELD BITCH, fkn might-o-chrondia ( because he is the new jersey powerhouse of the concrete and hard titanium juvenille deliquient cell, which shakes when he walks, bro. )
tldr; KYLEY B IS FRECKLY, JEWISH, GINGER, NEW JERYSIAN 'THE THING' FROM THE FANTASTIC FOUR, COULD VERY EASILY BODY YOU, OR VIOLENTLY DISMEMBER AND KILL YOU AND MAKE THAT SHIT LOOK LIKE L-I-G-H-T WORK. AND I MEAN THAT.
but...he actually, believe it or not, does NOT...Kill People?
which, i honestly want to say, is stanley marsh's gentle 'post-mortem' pacifist influence still lingering around him like the sweetest ghost.
because, honestly, i think a lot of those people deserve to fucking die, not just for being extremely fucking cruel to jerseykyle for literally just existing, for how he looks of all things, his fucking APPERANCE!
( it's the teacher in me, but child and adolescent bullying, particularly in school settings, really makes me viciously angry and very, Very fucking sad because it causes soooo much psychological damage to the victim, who most likely did nothing to warrant such incessant and merciless taunting -- that was probably perpetrated because he was whip-smart, and therefore a fucking nerd, significantly larger than other boys, wore glasses, has a 'funny', loud, cartoonish voice...
( which is simply...a dialect and manner of speaking that he literally developed from growing up in new jersey and from his mother teaching him how to talk -- that shouldn't at all diminish the weigh his words carry or the meaning behind them; which, minus...a little...or a lot, of potty-mouthed sailor swearing -- which, again, only fucking happened because he was so viciously bullied, he had to adopt a harsh, slangy, malicious vernacular -- is often extremely profound, academic and reflects a very introspective perspective )
and because he's immunocompromised, had to report to the nurse's office frequently throughout the day to prick his finger and check his blood pressure for his diabetes and is often, very, very sick -- which i guess makes other kids view him as weak, but most damningly was that...he didn't fit into the mold ( or, uh, most traditional size ranges, sheila only bought him clothes from the 'big and tall' men's section of most department stores because he was so Large in stature,
like he could not squeeze into child-sized...anything; meanwhile ravenstan has itsy, bitsy baby feet and could probably slide his non-existent ass -- you are so sexy king, i love you, you needed a flaw -- into a pair of the largest sized black pair of skinny jeans they got on the racks of the junior girls section of target...like, he could and he would look damn Good too! like go AWHFF king!
HES SOOO BAD! i need to focus, but before i do~
btw; rs definitely sent jk a picture to laff. he was like damn, i am sorry it won't load; will you send five more from different angles? HELP )
but, anyways, my lifetime horny writer girl max security prison sentence aside ( and pending ), he just wasn't traditionally thin or tiny or conventionally attractive or healthy like most other boys or children and general were..so the other kids, probably ring-leaded by the most convention of the bunch, othered him, dedicated making every single day of his life miserable and made his life a living hell...
...just to have a little 'fun' at recess and laugh.
FUCK. THAT.
because, i don't know, bullying like that, creates what are usually painful lifelong feelings of self-inferiority, very difficult to remedialize through therapy and selfcare, social emotional issues with expressing yourself/emotions in healthy positive ways, militant self-isolation
and ALL of that happened to jerseykyle...and on top of just never hearing 'i love you' from his father, that hate he received from the outside world, forced him the keep everything inside and it's why he couldn't tell ravenstan he loved him, because basketball is just a game,
...but it never FUCKING ended and he could only alternate between being defensive or offensive, there was never a bell that sounded to tell him he could stop playing and that it was over, and return to 'normal', that was his normal, because, from all his overwhelming negative experiences with vulnerability, if he stopped treading water, every shark on planet earth would smell his blood in the water...
and spill it everywhere. :(
NINA, DID YOU HAVE A POINT? AND WERE YOU EVER GONNA GET THERE? i...think so? i think the point is that, these are bad people that kyley kg fucking b was putting the hurt on...and the point is that, because, like i said, he considers himself a 'debt collector' and appears villainous bc of his vicious disposition,
is really more like...
a misunderstood antihero than anything?
he's kind of like a red robin hoodie, if you will, because he goes after rapists, child molesters, guys who hurt women/animals/the weak, power-hungry bastards in suits who use that power for evil and take it out on those who are stricken with poverty, like, he is a violent criminal...but he takes out even More violent criminals.
hot boy shit!
and yeah, he does do it sort of vaingloriously sometimes, for street cred, to wear people's status symbols on his hand and placate that hurt place in himself by being scary and ferocious and making motherfuckers pay for what they did for him and how they treated him...and with all that blood in his eyes, he gets blind to the ethical portion of what he's doing...but, subconsciously...
he's doing it...
— For GOOD.
and killing people, the notion of it, not only made stanley marsh, punk rock pacifist prince, violently, violently sick, but it's also, one, too messy, a lot on his hands ( already quite heavy with his heisted and thieved jewels and video game loot ) but...i don't know? he really loves his mom, you know? batshit insane as that woman is, he loves her to death...and does spare bad-guys because of it. because everyone has a mom and not everyone's mom is kind and lovely like his, but they could...and he's sending their kid back home to them...
...in a [ BOX ].
it just...it didn't sit right with him ( he acts unbothered by the idea of murdering people...but, unless he had to, like if it was going to kill someone else and the only way to fix it would be to kill the thing about to kill them, he could do it, and again...he could do it easily. )
he also acts simultaneously above the 'laur' and studies it in school, but ultimately...what happens to this fuck-ups after he fucks them up...is not up to him. whether they live or die, that is. he gave them what was coming to them...and the rest is up to someone else.
and i won't get into it too much ( A LIE; but i have like 74937403 other blurbs about this in my drafts, i should not ferally release all that insanity in here ) but it's interesting...because rm!jersey, loses a lot of that subconscious 'good' in the process of being 'bad'.
because, after his drastic kyley b transformation into ivy league jersey, he, for the first time, is being noticed in a 'positive' way by people on the outside and he's getting 'positive' attention from them, and he feels...for once, powerful — even though, really, he's essentially rendered powerless and is chained to the approval of these people and destroys himself every moment of everyday...to be in a pretty, and small, and palatable package for them...
( yes, i want k*ll myself. )
but he BECOMES the very EVIL that he was hellbent on destroying and starts doing EXACTLY what those people did to him. and because he is so unhappy and morose and hurt and devastated, he finds outsiders, weak people, but mostly, just looks...happy? :((((
…unbothered, merely existing...and decides
to psychologically debase and torture every drop of happiness from that individual, to make his self esteem better and make him feel like, good, i am so much better than that miserable worm, squirming away, squinting at the light it once basked in...
now it can be as insufferable and small...
— As I Am. </3
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. BROTHERS, THIS SHIT MAKES ME SO SAD. I AM SOOOOO UPSET LOL.
NOOOOOO--
and they're both brutal, kyley b and jerseykyle ( who, really, do need that distinction because they are...VERY different ) jersey, one, is far worse than kyley b, i don't CARE if he could twist your intestined into rope and hang you with them...the things that jerseykyle can say, as the most beautiful man EVER, Using That Voice,
looking at you with the most disgust and contempt and unworthiness you've ever felt and completely debase you in a couple crisp, dififnued, academic words...and not touch you a single time, bc you're pathetic and beneath him...you can heal a broken bone in a couple weeks...but your mind? your heart? your self esteem?
your once…wealthy, healthy feelings of self worth?
when jerseykyle reduces you into ash with his eyes, when your body was a temple and he burns it down, like somehow, it will make his stronger where he feels weak and helpless or like it will some how vindicate stanley marsh...it is very, very, very difficult to make that rubble into a city again. like...that man will RUIN YOU LIFE.
( pleaaaAasee kiss me!!! pICK ME CHOOSE MESHSJ )
but jersey is scary in a very...bone-chilling, below-freezing, self-pleasing, self-destructive ( but in a more subtle, seemingly artistic, less 'unhand me, you big brute, ya no-good palooka' kind of way...
and, instead, it's this twisted, muted, shadowy…
...oh wow, you...really are the devil in a fresh pressed suit, college student siren who leads boys to their untimely demise, and drains them of their lifeforce in his bedroom they way he would a dry glass of wine or a cheap bodega cigarettes like in a tasteful, snake charmer kind of way...a dark academic, sleek, chic, fuck-and-succubus way )
like jerseykyle is a very pretentious, jane austenatcious, bond villian type of self-destructive...that revolves around mentally preying on the weak/innocent...because he hates himself and wants literally everyone to hate themselves more than him...so he can like himself.
and when he guts you its, in a mentally incapacitant, poisonous, cruel and insidious way, in a...classically trained, philosophical, fashionable, was...in the way a thorn on the most beautiful rose you've ever seen would gut you...or a delicate antique letter opener...might slash your palm open, gash you and bleed you dry...
whereas kyley b was a faaaar less tasteful or restrained ( in that sense but jersey is still unhinged ) destroyer of worlds...he was very hands on, ( jerseykyle will not touch you unless he has to, he'll only punch you if you will not shut the fuck up and touch you as little and impersonally as possible to sleep with you…which is ironic, i know )
kyley b is a very fast and loose, wild animal, loose canon, carnivorous 'i'll slice ya and dice ya and put ya on ice ya' and beat you until you are bloody and unrecognizable...but on the inside...
he's just this...Frightened Little Animal. :(
who hurts you because he is scared you will reach for him, and when you put food in your palm, bites it because he's scared it's a trick.
aaaaaaaaaaaaah....idk he is my special little man.
okay, shutting the fuck up now HERE IS YOUR SNIPPET:
( edit: LAMBORGHINI MERCY, ITS LONG; LO SIENTO! )
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GOOD LUCK, BAMBI. </3 ;-;
( just a...branch in my eye. ) i also was worried about the nicknames being a little too...'fem...inine-ish?' which, i glawhSSED on earlier, but wrote this little extra dialogue as an example using all the little satana stan nicknames ( aw ) because i am gonna be honest, it's gender neutral and not personal, he'd tell you, straight up -- my man always keeps it one-hunna and 100% kosh, ketzele; --
something like:
'ya can throw daisy chains ova a pile of cowshit aaaaaalll you want, masug; but no matta how ya dress it up, when alls said and done; and all those pretty flowers keel ova' and die...all your fine exteria design... fuck: what's cityslicka for 'useless, fancy schmanchy holy crappola' uhhh...your...dainty lil'tle 'floral achootrama' or whateva';
gesundheit.
...means fuck awhll in new jersey, 'cause the freakin' se-wer systems! ( manure, really ) like all the people, are all totally wasted, loaded and gunked-up with broken needles, instant spray tan and crushed up cred cans; wow, golly gee whiz, dory. so...you mean to tell me...my whole life...is all a buncha crud, huh?
o-oh, no, shit i might cr--
HA! gotcha, sensodyne! cause one man's trash...is another man's treasure...and you better get comfy and rest your goddamn laurels on a street corner where a prostitute isn't going to give you freakin' hepatisis mauling ya for struting your stuff on her turf...
cause this, outta townie...
— is your new home sweet home. ;)
...wonderful little joint, ain't it? you should see when it's all lit up with gang violence...that'll really jumpstart your heart, sug. it's, uh, kinda like fireworks...if they were fucking HORRIBLE and KILLED YA.
so...and i'll talk real slow, because i'm not sure i speak malibu freakin' barbie: h-e-r-e....in...hoebroken, ( that's where we are...in case you forgot, bamb; don't look so scared, honey; the junkies will only give ya little nibble; not too many teeth there otherwise. or, uh, oxygen flowin' to the ole cranium, they're basically harmless! uh...not him. staaaaaaaaaay, the hell away away from him, sug. aY, YOUSE! SNAP CRACKLE POP! KEEP YOUR FKN DISTANCE OR I'LL CAP YA BI--
basically; v.i.p., between you...and me, there's crap...on crap...on --wait! could it be--oh no, just more CRAP lined from the rock bottom of nj all the way up to the ny-sea to shining sea skyline ( might be our fault, but the fuckin' big city biddies and hoity-freakin-toitys out there can hoof it a little; by that, i mean horse shit; fuck 'em. uh, no offense, bam. ) i shot that one outta the park a little,
ball-point is:
it's backed allllll the way...TA HELL. which, might even be kinda, uh, nice...well, compared to this fuckin' trash compacta. so take a good, long, whiff sweetheart; ‘cause here? everybody's shit stinks...
— even yours, princess.
which—OOH.
es-Specially, yours.
ever heard of a shower? you r-e-e-k."
hEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP THATS MY BOOOOOOOOOOOYFRIEND! look at him!!!! I MISS HIM EVERYDAY; KYLEY 'IF YOU AIN'T MAKIN' MONEY, TAKE! YA! BROKE! ASS! OUTTA! HOE(BOKEN)! BEFORE I BREAK IT SOMEMORE, BREAK IT SOMEMORE...(B)-I T C H!"
like and suuuuuuUUubSCRRIIIBE~
-uncle nina, the gay kyley lGBea(t)in'theshitouttayaBETCH agenda
#i'll fill the tags l8r BUT CAN YALL BELIEVE I POSTED SOMETHIN LIKE FUCK U TUMOR HOW MY DICK tAST--#but ur welcome or i'm sorry also the spelling is shit but i'm blind okAY I HAVE A TUMOR U HAVE TO TELL ME IM PRETTY#for me going on and on and OOOOOOOON in this post but i hope the lore thrilled you and the exerpt was punchy and cunty#i do really have a lot of love in my heart for kyley b i miss him everyday...but he was unrestrained and lawless#and i will talk about it later but...i think he always wanted to be classical and refined...but never had the means to do so#so actually he was meant to be a sleek chic red wine drinking dark academic intellectual boy with a passionate feral spirit#and i LOOOOOOOOOVE HIM FOR THAT NUANCED KING#i am very passionate about the rm flashback santana stan bambi and masuggash nicknames very cute to me#not raven of crimson dawn being like AAAAAAAAAAA and jerseykyle also being like AAAAAAAAAAAA#like THAT WASNT FOR YOU I DONT KNOW WHY I SAID THAT I USED TO CALL MY DEAD BEST FRIEND THAT SORRY#and ravenstan like SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND DO U LIKE HIM WERE U IN LOVE WITH HIM IF HE WAS STILL HERE#mental...illness...both of you...#i'm allowed to joke about 5150s because i literally got 5150'd twice but i'm calling one in for rs and jk bc they are INSANE#NO YOU CANNOT BE ROOMATES I KNOW THEY WOULD TRY AND SQUEEZE A QUICKIE IN BETWEEN EVERY#15 MINUTE CHECK IN I AM SCREAMING I JUST FUCKING KNOW IT ENJOY YOUR 14 DAY STAY GAY BOYS#FUCKING NASTY AND UNBELIEVABLE ( never stop kings...maybe uh not every 15 minutes BUT GO OFF )
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keeps-ache · 7 months
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porch time porch time woowoo !! :D
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kakusu-shipping · 8 months
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Rät by Penelope Scott has been a Nezu song in my head for years. Glad to finally be able to put down some of the vibe of why.
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