#because i'm a bitch
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#lukola#nicola coughlan#luke newton#my thoughts#my opinion#my mood#my humor#because i'm a bitch#<3 green eyes
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AU zaundads feeling younger
#my art#sketchy sketch#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#zaundads#vanco#silco arcane#vander arcane#these bitches gay!!!!!!#I'm just vomiting this art out as fast as I can because I am so happy#manbun fits vander so well
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If so, what is it?
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hahahahaaaa get safe and cared for, idiot
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#bg3 tav#astarion x tav#oc: finch#my turn to draw my tav being cute with his vampire bf heeheehee lalala my turn my turn#because i'm weak for a hug and tired bitches snuggling#and for astarion still being nervous about his boundaries being pushed#waiting for the shoe to drop but it never does#slowly lowering the hackles#because it keeps getting reenforced that. it might be okay#anyway i continue to be abnormal about this game bye#my art#bloodoath
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the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.
#i can't believe i'm saying this#DEADPOOL CAN GET IT#Logan I'm sobbing I understand why you lunged at him#I would too bestie#it's the sass for me folks#paint that car white as much as they painted it red my god#a deadpool thirst post? from me? more likely than you'd think#this is a branch in realities i know it#i've never had Feelings for this motherfucker until this movie#all i'm left with is anger now because WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME#camera crew could have just made it landscape but noooooo they had to do a medium shot of this son of a bitch#i'm sending an especially affectionate fuck you in ryan reynolds' direction#i love how you love deadpool#deadpool#wolverine#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#deadclaws#don't get me wrong i've always adored deadpool's personality. nobody's that hilarious and not have humongous balls i mean trauma.#but i've never went 'why he kinda' until this specific shot right here#@ camera crew why the fuck did you zoom in? WHY?#for me? well it's infuriating#do it again#gif is credit to the owner#30 tags aren't enough for me to dismantle how this shot made me feel. tumblr you gotta update#damn tumblr i'm tryna feed a village here#guys just find my other post
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imagine being married to someone who is fully convinced you're going to hell "because" of past mistakes you made when in your younger years – mistakes he smirks at during dinner with a stranger btw – and so he pretty much convinces you to undergo severance simply because he believes innies have souls and this way he can have a part of you making him company in heaven? divorce is not enough, a marvelous love affair with a handsome italian-american man who wants to see you again is required
#who told this fields bitch he's going to heaven anyway? why are you so certain my dude?#in that case i'm glad you're going there because that means i'll never have to see you in hell#my god the religious trauma watching that popped up#i cant imagine marrying someone who's fully convinced im going to hell? based on their religion? good lord#im fully questioning what these mistakes were btw. like??? hello#yeah i know we need to know more about burt g and the lumon partner and 20 years thing but!!! speaking of the marriage only#severance#severance spoilers#burving
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you need to answer "smash or pass" polls as if you're bisexual even if you're not bisexual otherwise what's the point!!!!
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percy, mentally ill: I feel like I deserve to die. It's a punishment because im a horrible person. Does that sound crazy?
jason, also mentally ill: No that tracks bro samesies
#just two dumb bitches telling each other /exaaaaactly/#that scene is boo is so funny because it fully treats it as if Percy can read Jason's thoughts the way the reader can#because from Jason's pov it's Percy saying that he thinks deserves to die as a punishment for doing something so terrible#and then Jason THINKS about times when he also felt helpless and wanted to give up and die#and he's literally sympathizing with Percy#but VERBALLY Jason's like: no that's not crazy that makes sense#so now think of this convo from Percy's pov#Percy: I'm a horrible person who deserves to die#Jason: Yeah that makes sense#and then Percy GOES QUIET#it literally reads like Jason affirms Percy's worst thoughts alkfjalkdjflskdjg#its sooo fucking funny in the worst way#pjo#percy jackson#jason grace#mine
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“I was really surprised to be speaking about this big fantasy series and about a character who on both a personal and political level is somewhat at odds with the gender they were born in. That was something, as a nonbinary person, that resonates strongly....I think she’s always living in counterpoint to what her life might look like were she male.”
-Emma D'Arcy, from House of the Dragon: Inside the Creation of a Targaryen Dynasty
#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon#hotdedit#rhaenyratargaryenedit#emma d'arcy#milly alcock#hotd#gender conflicted rhaenyra is so important to me#i got this book last night and immediately became obsessed witht his quote#don't even get me started on olivia repeatedly using they/them for rhaenyra i'll cry about it#anyway so glad for my newfound powers so i could make this#even if it looks just okay#because this show is a bitch to brighten and color#and i'm not great at that yet anyway#my posts#my gifs
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#please i have to know if i'm just a bitch or not#you can probably guess what my opinion is on the matter lmao#just orphan the fic if you don't like it anymore/don't want to be associated with it!!!!#that's what the orphaning option is for!!!! why are you taking away MY beloved reading material!!!!!! it makes me so mad#i've started downloading and keeping a collection of my favorite fics because i can't trust them not to disappear on me#if you've written a fic i love and deleted it you'd better count your days#ao3#archive of our own#orphaned works#deleted fics#fanfic#fanfiction#fics#batfamily#batfam#batman#fandom#i'm just gonna tag all the fandoms i've read fic for lmao#voltron#voltron legendary defender#the raven cycle#trc#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#yuri on ice#marvel#mcu#the avengers#young justice
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Viridian City seems fun
#I love these guys specifically#In my head they're the world's least functional family#I dont care if only two of them are related let me have this#you can tell the winter term is going to go poorly when just the thought of it rockets me back into my oldest fixation#I'm gonna be stuck on pokespe for a while probably#I honestly think this manga's not even that good but I read it when I was 12 so now it's a permanent part of my psyche#pokemon#pokespe#pokemon giovanni#trainer yellow#lance pokemon#rival silver#silver pokespe#trainer green#practicing some different rendering styles because I like to pretend I know what I'm doing#once I figure out how to reliably draw faces its over for you bitches#art tag
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if you're still boiling a character as complex as alistair down to anything along the lines of: himbo, idiot, soft baby without an idea of his own, haha funny cheese man i'm straight up burning your house down with lasers and sending you directly to hell.
if you genuinely believe that man is stupid, all you're doing is admitting that you yourself cannot see beyond the incredibly transparent veil he wants to put over your eyes.
what he is is insecure, and he wants you to think he's stupid so that he doesn't have to live up to expectations he fears he won't meet. shortly after meeting him you can call him out on using humor to deflect and make himself smaller and he ADMITS IT.
he repeatedly shows you just how intelligent he is and how aware of the ways of the world he is. his history knowledge, his understanding of the chantry and its control of templars and mages that goes far beyond nearly anyone else we as the player speak with, his emotional intelligence when it comes to understanding others' intentions and needs... and this is just a thoughtless little post with quick examples i conjured up in five minutes! i'm not even doing a deep dive here! how do so many people miss all of this?
this is not advanced reading of subtext, it's incredibly simple and i'm completely unsure how people don't understand this about him.
he's such a great character for so many reasons - his flaws being some of those reasons - but a lack of intelligence is simply not one of those flaws no matter how you spin it.
#keep my wife's name out of your mouth i'm so serious leave my man alone#da#dragon age#dragon age origins#alistair#alistair theirin#i will not let them slander you pookie.......#like if you want to talk to me about alistair being occasionally short-sighted and idealistic to a fault i'm HERE#if you want to talk about alistair being a petty and at times vindictive bitch i'm HERE#talk to me about his real flaws#not something you made up because you don't understand the character#like how are we STILLLLLL having this conversation?#why does he get hit so hard with the mischaracterization beam by both his lovers and haters? i will never understand
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Eddie's the one who got shot?
#surprise bitch i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me (the shooting on this sunday)#911edit#evan buckley#buddie#911 abc#911#mine: gif#mine#someone in the editing team fucked up with this scene because the tracking of some color grading is going insane in the first gif#i tried to fix it but it was HARD in ps when you have to factor in that it's a gif and i'm not doing it in davinci resolve as a video lmao#can you tell i am ruined from studying this at uni
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Writing Prompt #12
Bruce is reading the paper when the pour of Tim's coffee goes abruptly quiet. It would be hard to pinpoint why this is disturbing if it wasn't for the way the soft, tinny sound the vent system in the manor makes cuts out for the first time since being updated in the 90s. The pour, Bruce realizes, has not slowed to a trickle before stopping. It has simply stopped. And there is no overeager clack of a the mug against the marble counter or the uncouth first slurp (nor muttered apology at Alfred's scolding look) immediately following the end of the pour.
Bruce fights the instinct to use all of his senses to investigate, and instead keeps his eyes on the byline of the article detailing the latest set of microearthquakes to hit the midwest in the last week. Microearthquakes aren't an unusual occurrence and aren't noticeable by human standards, which is why this article is regulated to page seven, but from several hundred a day worldwide to several hundred a day solely in the East North Central States, seismologists are baffled.
Bruce had been considering sending Superman to investigate under the guise of a Daily Planet article requested by Bruce Wayne (Wayne Industries does have an offshoot factory in the area) when everything had stopped twenty seconds ago. That is what he assumes has happened (having not moved a muscle to confirm) in the amount of time he assumes has passed. His million dollar Rolex does not quite audibly tick but in the absolute silence it should be heard, which confirms the silence to be exactly that—absolute.
While Bruce can hold his breath with the best of the Olympian swimmers, he has never accounted for a need to remain without blinking without being able to move one's eyes. Rotating the eyeballs will maintain lubrication such that one could go without blinking for up to ten minutes. But staring at the byline fixedly, he estimates another twenty seconds before tears start to form.
These are the thoughts Bruce distracts himself with, because he doesn't dare consider how Tim and Alfred haven't made a (living) sound in the past forty-five seconds. About Damian, packing his bag upstairs for school after a morning walk with Titus that was "just pushing it, Master Damian".
There is a knife to his right, if memory serves (it does). In the next five seconds—
"Your wards and guardian are fine, Mr. Wayne," the deepest voice Bruce has ever heard intones. For a dizzying moment, it is hard to pinpoint the location of the voice, for it comes from everywhere—like the chiming of a clocktower whilst inside the tower, so overpowering he is cocooned in its volume.
But it is not spoken loudly, just calmly, and when he puts the paper down, folds it, and looks to his right, a blue man sits in Dick's chair.
He wears a three piece suit made entirely of hues of violet, tie included. He has a black brooch in the shape of a cogwheel pinned to his chest pocket, a simple chain clipped to his lapel. Black leather gloves delicately thumb Bruce's watch (no longer on his wrist, somewhere between second 45 and 46 it has stopped being on his wrist), admiring it.
"You'll forgive me," the man says with surety. "Clocks are rather my thing, and this is an impressive piece." He turns it over and reveals the 'M. Brando' roughly scratched into the silver back. He frowns.
"What a shame," he says, placing it face side up on the table.
"Most would consider that the watch's most valuable characteristic." Bruce says, voice steady, hands neatly folded before him. Two inches from the knife. To his left, there is an open doorway to the kitchen. If he turns his head, he might be able to get a glance of Tim or Alfred.
He doesn't look away from the man.
"It is the arrogance of man," the man says, raising red eyes (sclera and all) to Bruce, "to think they can make their mark on time."
"...Is that supposed to be considered so literally?" Bruce asks, with a light smile he does not mean.
The man smiles lightly back, eyes crinkling at the corners. He looks to be in his mid thirties, clean-shaven. His skin is a dull blue, his hair a shock of white, and a jagged scar runs through one eye and curving down the side of his cheek, an even darker, rawer shade of blue-purple.
The man turns the watch back over and taps at the engraving. "Let me ask you this," he says. "When we deface a work of art, does it become part of the art? Does it add to its intrinsic meaning?"
Bruce forces his shoulders to shrug. "It's arbitrary," he says. "A teenager inscribes his name on the wall of an Ancient Egyptian temple and his parents are forced to publicly apologize. But runic inscriptions are found on the Hagia Sophia that equate to an errant Viking guard having inscribed 'Halfdan was here' and we consider it an artifact of a time in which the Byzantine Empire had established an alliance with the Norse and converted vikings to Christianity."
"The vikings were as errant as the teenager," the man says, "in my experience." He leans back in his chair. "I suppose you could say the difference is time. When time passes, we start to think of things as artistic, or historical. We find the beauty in even the rubble, or at least we find necessity in the destruction..."
He offers Bruce the watch. After a moment, Bruce takes it.
"The problem, Mr. Wayne, is that time does not pass for me. I see it all as it was, as it is, as it ever will be, at all times. There is no refuge from the horror or comfort in that one day..." he closes his hand, the leather squeaking. And then his face smooths out, the brief severity gone. He regards Bruce calmly.
"You can look left, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce looks left. Framed by the doorway, Tim looks like a photograph caught in time. A stream of coffee escapes the spout of the stainless steel pot he prefers over the Breville in the name of expediency, frozen as it makes its way to the thermos proclaiming BITCH I MIGHTWING. Tim regards his task with a face of mindless concentration, mouth slack, lashes in dark relief against his pale skin as he looks down at the mug. Behind him, Bruce can see Alfred's hand outstretched towards the refrigerator handle, equally and terrifyingly still.
"My name is Clockwork," the man says. "I have other names, ones you undoubtedly know, but this one will be bestowed upon me from the mouth of a child I cherish, and so I favor it above all else. I am the Keeper of Time."
"What do you want from me?" Bruce asks, shedding Wayne for Batman in the time it takes to meet Clockwork's eyes. The man acknowledges the change with a greeting nod.
"In a few days time, you will send Superman to the Midwest to investigate the unusual seismic activity. By then, it will be too late, the activity will be gone. They will have already muzzled him."
"Him."
"There is a boy with the power to rule the realm I come from. Your government has been watching him. The day he turned 18, they took him from his family and hid him away. I want you to retrieve him. I want you to do it today."
"Why me?"
"His parents do not have the resources you do, both as Batman and Bruce Wayne. You will dismantle the organization that is keen on keeping him imprisoned, and you will offer him a scholarship to the local University. You and yours will keep him safe within Gotham until he is able to take his place as my King."
This is a lot of information to take in, even for Bruce. The idea that there could be a boy powerful enough to rule over this (god, his mind whispers) entity and that somehow, he has slipped under all of their radars is as frustrating as it is overwhelming. But although Clockwork has seemed willing to converse, he doesn't know how many more questions he will get.
"You have the power to stop time," he decides on, "why don't you rescue him? Would he not be better suited with you and your people?"
"Within every monarchy, there is a court," Clockwork. "Mine will be unhappy with the choice I have made," he looks at Bruce's watch, head cocked. "In different worlds, they call you the Dark Knight. This will be your chance to serve before a True King."
Bruce bristles. "I bow to no one."
"You'll all serve him, one day," Clockwork says, patiently. "He is the ruler of realms where all souls go, new and old. When you finally take refuge, he will be your sanctuary." He frowns. "But your government rejects the idea of gods. All they know is he is other. Not human. Not meta. A weapon."
"A weapon you want me to bring to my city."
"I believe you call one of your weapons 'Clark', do you not?" Clockwork asks idly. "But you misunderstand me. They seek to weaponize him. He is not restrained for your safety, but for their gain."
"And if I don't take him?" Bruce asks, because a) Clockwork has implied he will be at the very least impeded, at worst destroyed over this, and b) he never did quite learn not to poke the bear. "You won't be around if I decide he's better off with the government."
"You will," Clockwork says, with the same certainty he's wielded this entire conversation. "Not because he is a child, though he is, nor because you are good, though you are, nor even because it is better power be close at hand than afar.
"I have told you my court will be unhappy with me. In truth, there are others who also defend the King. Together we will destroy the access to our world not long after this conversation. The court will be unable to touch him, but neither will we as we face the repercussions for our actions. I am telling you this, because in a timeline where I do not, you think I will be there to protect him. And so when he is in danger, even subconsciously, you choose to save him last, or not at all. And that is the wrong choice.
"So cement it in your head, Bruce Wayne," the man says, "You will go to him because I tell you to. And you will keep him safe until he is ready to return to us. He will find no safety net in me. So you will make the right choice, no matter the cost."
"Or, when our worlds connect again, and they will," his voice now echoes in triplicate with the voices of the many, the young, the old, Tim, Bruce's mother, Barry Allen, Bruce's own voice, "I will not be the only one who comes for you."
"Now," he says, producing a Wayne Industries branded BIC pen. "I will tell you the location the boy is being kept, and then I would like my medallion back, please. In that order."
Bruce glances down and sees a golden talisman, attached to a black ribbon that is draped haphazardly around the neck of his bathrobe, so light (too light, he still should have—) he has not felt its weight until this moment.
Bruce flips the paper over, takes the pen, and jots down the coordinates the being rattles off over the face of a senator. By his calculation, they do correspond with a location in the midwest.
"You will find him on B6. Take a left down the hallway and he will be in the third room down, the one with a reinforced steel door. Take Mr. Kent and Mr. Grayson with you, and when you leave take the staircase at the end of the hallway, not the elevator."
The man gets up, dusts off his impeccably clean pants, and offers him a hand to shake.
"We will not meet again for some time, Mr. Wayne."
Bruce looks at the creature, stands, and shakes his hand. It feels like nothing. The Keeper of Time sighs, although nothing has been said.
"Ask your question, Mr. Wayne."
"I have more than one."
"You do," Clockwork says. "But I have heard them all, and so they are one. Please ask, or I will not be inclined to answer it."
"What does this boy mean for the future, that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for him?"
There is a pause.
"So that is the one," Clockwork says, after a time. "Yes. I see. I should resolve this, I suppose."
"Resolve what?"
"It is not his future I mean to protect," the man says. "It is his present."
"You want to keep him safe now..." Bruce says, but he's not sure what the being is trying to say.
"I am not inclined," Clockwork repeats, stops. His expression turns solemn, red eyes widening. In their reflection, Bruce can see something. A rush of movement too quick to make heads or tails of, like playing fast forward on a videotape. "Superman reports no signs of unusual seismic activity. With nothing further to look into, you let it go in favor of other investigative pursuits. You do not find him, as you are not meant to. He stays there. His family, his friends, they cannot find him. His captors tell him they have moved on. He does not believe them, until he does. He stays there. He stays there until he is strong enough to save himself."
Clockwork speaks stiffly, rattling off the chain of events as if reading a Justice League debrief. "He is King. He will always be King. He is strong, and good, and compassionate, and he is great for my people because yours have betrayed his trust beyond repair. He throws himself into being the best to ever Be, because there is nothing Left for him otherwise. We love him. We love him. We love him. My King. Forevermore."
The red film in his eyes stall out, and Bruce is forced to look away from how bright the image is, barely making out a silhouette before they dull back to their regular red.
"I am not inclined," Clockwork says slowly, "To this future."
"Because of what it means in the present," Bruce finishes for him. "They're not just imprisoning him, are they."
"They will have already muzzled him."
Clockworks is right in front of him faster than he can process, fist gripping the medallion at his neck so tight he now feels the ribbon digging into his skin.
"Unlike you, Mr. Wayne," and for the first time, the god is angry, and the image of it will haunt Bruce for the rest of his life, "I do not believe in building a better future on the back of a broken child."
"Find him," the deity orders, and yanks the necklace so hard the ribbon rips—
Clack!
"sluuuuurp!"
"Master Timothy, honestly!"
"Sorry Alfred!"
#i feel like I'm going to reread this and want to add other stuff#but I also just want to post it and get it out there#fun fact i scribbled a bunch of lines down at 2am bc i didn't want to forget them#im bad at multiple drafts#my writing#dp x dc#dp x dc au#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#danny phantom#batman#i live to make everybody dramatic#but also i subscribe to a world where clockwork doesn't know how NOT to be dramatic#lol he's a ghost from all of time he doesn't know how to speak to humans and tailor it to the century let alone the decade#and his favorite little girl who calls him clocky loves how he speaks so#he doesn't need to change for nobody#nor feels inclined to#also I feel like as god he's way more inclined to threaten to get what he wants than like...be vulnerable#jazz: let's unpack that#clockwork: we never do#jazz: are you saying that because it's true or because that's what you want to be true?#clockwork: ...#also I cannot take credit for BITCH I MIGHTWING#wish i could#that is cash money right there#shoutout to 11thsense
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keep seeing "taylor hates matty just like us!!" like.. she hates him because he broke her heart I hate him because he is a legitimately garbage person we are not the same
#she has made it plenty clear that she has never cared at all about the things he gets criticised for (and if anything she liked it!)#it's a shame but daddy i love him goes so hard because i'm vibing having a great time#and then i'm like hang on she's calling me a judgemental creep/viper for bitching and moaning....#talking#taylor swift
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one of my favorite garak mannerisms is whenever someone says something to him he clearly finds completely wild and his eyes briefly widen like
before he reacts properly. when someone tells you something SO fucking stupid that you momentarily turn into a muppet
#elim garak#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#it's why he has to throw people off by presenting too much and conflicting information rather than pure poker face#because for all his training I'm not sure he's physically capable of controlling this reaction whenever dukat opens his mouth#the bitch reflex that cannot be tamed#it's that and the sort of unhinged laughter he'll get startled into sometimes. just. so much. makes my brain go 'fhdskjfsha'
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