#because i wanted to care for some stupid plastic baby for 48 hours

[squilfmybeloved]

the feminine urge to be a mother because you have a stupid stupid dumb uterus and stupid dumb girl hormones

[dahbeez]

1. "You're such a dork."

2. "Get over here, you doof."

3. "Cheeky."

4. "You're so needy."

5. "Kiss me again."

6. "You're so adorable!"

7. "Look at you... goodness, you're so cute!"

8. "I'm just so happy!"

9. "I can't stop smiling."

10. "I like that you make me laugh so much that my cheeks hurt."

11. "You are being extra sweet today."

12. "Oh, look at you!"

13. "Your eyes are so pretty."

14. "I'm really happy that you're here with me."

15. "Thank you for staying with me."

16. "I don't think I've ever loved someone this much before."

17. "I feel like I'm in the clouds when I'm with you."

18. "You're like my hero/heroine."

19. "I'm gonna tickle you if you don't come over here."

20. "My, oh my. You are such a beautiful creature."

@drink-it-write-it​

21. "Go with me?" "As long as you hold my hand."

22. "Is there a reason you're blushing like that?"

23. "Have you seen my hoodie?" "Nooooo..." "You're wearing it, aren't you?"

24. "OH you're jealous!"

25. "Can we stay like this forever?"

26. "Please just kiss me already."

27. "I think you might be my soulmate."

28. "Sleep over? Please?"

29. "Are we on a date right now?"

30. "I think I'm in love with you."

31. "Are you flirting with me?" "You finally noticed?"

32. "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that."

33. "I wish we could live together already."

34. "They're so cute when they're asleep."

35. "I just wanted to let you know that I think you're beautiful."

36. "Quit touching me, your feet are cold!"

37. "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

38. "Give me attention."

39. "You met me yesterday." "Yes, and I would die for you. Next question."

40. "She's hiding behind the sofa."

41. "Did you just hiss at me?"

@wishiwasanavenger-archive​

42. "Have you kissed anyone before?"

43. "Can I kiss you?"

44. "You're not hurting me, you're not heavy. I've got you, love.” 

45. "I look at them and I just... it's like when the Grinch's heart grows three sizes."

46. "I don't... I've never... been in a relationship before and I'm going to make mistakes... I just need you to tell me. I need you to talk to me."

47. "You didn't tell me your friend was cute! Now what am I going to do?"

48. "You give me a reason to be better, to do better."

49. "God, you are so fucking cute."

50. "I love you, but I need you to go away because you're really bloody distracting and I have to pass this test tomorrow."

51. "Oh no... they're cute."

52. "I can't talk to cute people, okay? I don't know how to flirt!"

53. "God, I love your face."

54. "Don't look at me, I'm a mess!" "I love it when you're a mess!"

55. "Please do your homework for me...? Just one time." ... "I said one time, y'know... you didn't have to start studying. Not that I'm not proud or anything."

56. "I'm already home."

57. "Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner."

58. "Stop moving! I'm going to have to start counting all over again!"

59. "I just thought that since you weren't feeling too good, this would help."

60. "I'm not kissing you in the rain! We'll catch our death!"

61. "Would it help if I stayed?"

62. "I apologise sincerely if my beautiful/handsome face has kept you up all night."

63. "God, you're pretty."

64. "Calm down, it's just a chocolate bar!"

65. "Please, tell me you brought a toothbrush?"

66. "You take the bed, you need it more than me."

67. "You're so warm!"

68. "You're freezing, Jesus!"

69. "You always look beautiful."

70. "Your hands are so small!"

71. "Sometimes I just want to cuddle, okay? Is that so bad?"

72. "Now I know where half my wardrobe went."

73. "Here, let me just–" 

74. "You're really special to me."

75. "That tickles!"

76. "We only have one room left for the night..."

77. "Naps are life, okay?"

78. "I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do."

79. "I had the weirdest dream..."

80. "I got you a trophy, it's only plastic, but it's for being the best human I know."

81. "Someone keeps leaving love notes in my locker and I don't know if I should find it endearing or creepy..."

82. "I love your voice."

83. "Put me down! I can walk!"

84. "Can... can you come over?"

85. "You're the best."

86. "Can you please stop biting your lip, it's distracting."

87. "I thought you liked love songs!"

88. "I know you're not a fan of Valentine's day... I just thought that maybe I could change your mind..."

89. "You're my favourite know-it-all."

90. "That was the least romantic proposal in the entire history of proposals."

91. "I never knew you were a romantic at heart."

92. "I made it. For you. I know it's not the best, but..."

93. "Let me carry that."

94. "How do you know my favourite drink?" "I'm observant."

95. "We've known each other's for years and I don't think we've ever had a proper conversation."

96. "You're the clumsiest person I know, how did you survive past childhood?"

97. "It's always time for a milkshake."

98. "You know, humming the James Bond theme tune defeats the point of sneaking."

99. "I think your cat wants to kill me."

100. "Where have all my jumpers gone?"

101. "I don't get paid enough for this shit."

102. "Oh my God, I love you."

103. "I told you to bring a jacket."

@writings-of-a-hufflepuff​

104. "Is that my shirt?" "You mean our shirt?"

105. "It's you, it always has been."

106. "You're everything I could've wanted and more."

107. "Kiss me."

108. "Home stopped being a place when you entered my life."

109. "You should probably go home." "But I'm already home."

110. "You're an idiot." "But you love me."

111. "I'd do anything for you."

112. "You took all the pillows so I'm using you as one."

113. "Stop moving and let me braid your hair."

114. "I'm so proud of you."

115. "You are my family."

116. "I'm right here."

117. "Can you just please hold me?"

118. "I'm pretty sure they're my soulmate."

119. "This reminded me of you."

120. "Your hair is really soft."

121. "Are you blushing?"

122. "Can I stay here tonight?"

123. "Because I love you."

124. "Make a wish!"

125. "I love seeing you smile."

126. "You're just a softie."

127. "You are crushing me right now."

128. "Darling I love you and all, but please step out of the kitchen."

129. "Take my hand. Just trust me."

130. "You're the only thing that matters."

131. "Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

132. "Hey, look at me. Focus on me, alright?"

133. "Why can't I get you out of my head?"

134. "Don't let go."

135. "Stay."

@blisfvll​

136. "You smell really nice."

137. "If you steal the blanket, I'm going to put my cold feet on you."

138. "You're comfy."

139. "But I want to hear you sing."

140. "Don't get up – I'll do it."

141. "Care to give me a back scratch?"

142. "Your bed head is really cute."

143. "How about a kiss?"

144. "Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?"

145. "Are you really flirting with me right now?"

146. "I like the way your hand fits in mine."

147. "You have something in your hair, umm... do you want me to get it out?"

148. "It's nice that your voice is the first thing I heard today."

149. "This movie is really scary, but you're into it so I'm trying not to cover my face the whole time but– WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

150. "Wait, don't pull away... not yet."

151. "Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything."

152. "No, it's fine. I can wait until you're done talking to them."

153. "No, like... it's just, I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

154. "I've been trying to get ready for like an hour and an half because I know you're going to look so good and I need to try and match up."

155. "I wanted to say 'I love you' for the first time without stuttering, but that failed."

156. "We could order pizza and just stay like this all day."

157. "It's not a double date. We're just third and fourth wheeling."

158. "I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..."

@marauder-exe​

159. "It's not funny!"

160. "That wasn't suppose to happen."

161. "Hurry back."

162. "I can't take you seriously."

163. "Problem solved."

164. "That was embarrassing."

165. "It's freezing in here."

@love-me-a-good-prompt​

166. "I love you, baby."

167. "Hey, cutie."

168. "I promise to love you for the rest of my life."

169. "You're my world."

170. "I don't care if you're sick, catching a cold from kissing you is worth it."

171. "You are so perfect."

172. "Marry me?"

173. "You're the best part of me."

174. "Stay here with me. For the rest of our lives."

175. "I'm speechless, you're so beautiful!"

176. "Come here, I need to hug you."

177. "When everything's wrong, it's you that makes it right."

178. "You're the one."

@raggedy-dxctor​

179. "Well, it's the thought that counts." "Wait, no, don't take my kisses away from me!"

180. "Oh, you've started stealing my socks now?"

181. "You owe me a kiss."

182. "How did you get in here?"

183. "That's not even fair."

184. "You promised me a cookie!"

185. "Ew, that is so sappy, I might vomit."

186. "You're not very intimidating."

187. "That was, by far, the stupidest thing you've ever done."

188. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."

189. "Why the hell is there glitter everywhere?"

@whcczes​

190. "I'll feel much better if you let me walk you home."

191. "Apparently, all our friends have a bet going that we end up together."

192. "You make me feel alive. For the first time ever, I feel like I can breathe."

@moanlightlust​

193. "It's two in the morning and you want to cuddle?"

194. "You shine so bright it's intimidating. I love it."

195. "I'm here."

196. "What's your name again? Sorry, I just got that super weird feeling that we only see in movies, you know? Like, the whole world stopped turning and all I could see was you."

197. "I was born to be yours."

198. "Isn't it a bit too cliché?"

199. "So, you're just kissing strangers for no apparent reasons?"

200. "You'll always be my favourite person."

201. "You're making it weird, stop making it weird."

202. "There's nothing I love more than running back into your arms."

203. "I'm yours. Forever."

204. "You always know how to cheer me up."

205. "I... I lost the ring."

206. "Will you be mine?"

207. "Darling, you look perfect tonight."

208. "You saved my life."

209. "Don't give me that look. No... NO! I said no puppy dog eyes! You know I can't resist them! Argh, fine!"

210. "I missed you and your bad puns and even your horrible cooking and the way you fit perfectly against my body when we cuddle. I just really missed you."

211. "We're a team, remember?"

212. "There's no place I'd rather be than by your side."

213. "Your smile brightens the whole room."

214. "I kinda adopted a puppy behind your back... don't be mad! Look at those cute fluffy paws!"

215. "You're burning up. Guess I need to activate my nurse mode."

216. "I love you. As in more than friends, more than best friends and more than super extra best friends."

217. "I love you just the way you are."

218. "We need to kick his ass, no questions asked. You in?"

219. "Hot chocolate and cuddles? Kisses?"

220. "You make me feel pretty."

221. "You'll always be my best girl."

222. "Never hide yourself from me."

223. "Babe! There's no toilet paper!"

224. "I'll never give up on you."

225. "Do you feel that shirt? That's boyfriend material."

226. "That prank went so wrong."

227. "Care to dance, my love?"

228. "AH! You're stuck with me!"

229. "You're too good to me."

230. "Is it that time of the month?"

231. "Can I braid your hair?"

232. "It's okay to have doubts, as long as you don't let them overwhelm you."

233. "Come here! I can't stand to be so far away from you!"

234. "I got you."

235. "I wanna fall asleep next to you every night and wake up every morning with you by my side."

236. "Stop, I need to finish this!"

237. "I just wanna binge watch The Office, but it's not the same without you."

238. "Because I care about you!"

239. "I just wanted to impress you."

240. "I love you even though your breath stinks right now."

241. "Did you just puke on me?"

242. "We should get drunk and do stupid things."

243. "I always know what you're thinking about, babe. You're like an open book!"

244. "Could you sing to me?"

245. "I, uh, could you... could you play with my hair, please?"

246. "Nooooo, don't leave! I'm cold!"

247. "I think you're suffering from a lack of vitamin me."

248. "A mistletoe? Really?"

249. "Will you join me, love?"

250. "I have feelings for you."

251. "You are the reason."

252. "Take my hand, I wanna show you something..."

253. "You have a lovely name."

254. "You're my everything."

255. "You do know a lot about my blushing schedule."

@voilawind​

[flirting-with-psychology]

1. I own a ferret. 2. My best friend is my boyfriend 3. My best friend is a girl 4. I use the word super way too much 5. I am a boy 6. I like My Chemical Romance 7. I own more than 100 CDs 8. I like discussing politics 9. I collect state quarters 10. The Legend of Zelda is my favorite video game. 11. I have Cingular 12. I love MAC makeup 13. I smoke too much 14. I own more than 5 bandanas 15. My favorite movie is Kill Bill 16. I watched Lamb Chop when I was young 17. I have my ears gauged 18. I can do HTML without guidance 19. I watch Spongebob Squarepants regularly. 20. I go to the movies at least once a week 21. I play guitar or bass 22. I love Elvis 23. I’ve had a mo/bi/trihawk before 24. I have met my favorite band 25. I like to hardcore dance 26. Something’s outside my window 27. I believe in ghosts 28. I do drugs regularly 29. I am straightedge 30. My favorite feature about myself is my lips 31. I have never consumed alcohol 32. I want a tattoo. 33. My favorite actor is Will Ferrell. 34. I have seen Conan O'Brien live. 35. I hate MTV 36. I used to watch Cheaters every week 37. I have my own vaccuum 38. Frank Sinatra is awesome 39. I sleep with a stuffed animal 40. I am scared of werewolves 41. I watch hockey regularly 42. I am originally from New York 43. I own an iPod 44. Some people aren’t funny. 45. I hate school. 46. My favorite vegetable is lettuce. 47. Tickle fights are fun. 48. I am currently unemployed. 49. I have my license 50. I hate spelling mistakes 51. I love Spanish class 52. I live in a big city 53. I have been to the Grand Canyon 54. I listen to music to fall asleep 55. I watch TV to fall asleep 56. I only get a few hours of sleep each night 57. I’m relatively innocent. 58. I am a size 3 or smaller 59. I’m bored. 60. Purple is my favorite color. 61. I hate flossing 62. I have a car. 63. I believe in God 64. I’m in love. 65. I used to love Unwritten Law. 66. Reno 911 is my favorite show. 67. There is a mini stapler on my computer desk. 68. Cuddling’s my favorite. 69. For sure. 70. I have a flip phone 71. I love my handwriting 72. I own a Louis Vuitton handbag 73. I want to be an astronaut. 74. I love the song Dragostea Din Tei 75. 50 Cent is not talented 76. I like scanners better than digital cameras. 77. I own at least one Punk-O-Rama CD 78. My room is sound proof. 79. I’m 5'5 or less 80. Lying pisses me off 81. I backstab people. 82. I have been in a fist fight. 83. I have PaintShop Pro. 84. It’s almost midnight 85. My nightlight is cracked 86. I only listen to Dashboard Confessional when I’m sad 87. And I feel like a pansy when I do so 88. I hate metal 89. I’m in a band. 90. Napoleon Dynamite is annoying now. 91. I love hickeys 92. I want to lose weight 93. My favorite channel is the Food Network. 94. I don’t have a CD burner. 95. Pixar is stupid except for the Incredibles 96. I own an apartment/house 97. I am engaged. 98. My computer’s a Gateway. 99. I hate driving. 100. I like watching boys sleep. =========================== 01. I miss someone right now 02. I don’t watch much TV these days 03. I love olives 04. I love sleeping 05. I own lots of books 06. I wear glasses or contact lenses 07. I love to play video games 08. I’ve tried marijuana 09. I’ve watched porn movies 10. I have been in a threesome 11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship 12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy 13. I have acne free skin usually 14. I like and respect Al Sharpton 15. I curse frequently 16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year 17. I have a hobby 18. I’ve been told I can suck the chromes off a trailer hitch. 19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me 20. I’m smart 21. I’ve never broken someone’s bones 22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal 23. I hate the rain 24. I’m paranoid at times 25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scars. 26. I need money right now! 27. I love Sushi 28. I talk really, really fast sometimes 29. I have fresh breath in the morning 30. I have semi-long hair 31. I have lost money in Las Vegas 32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister 33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S. 34. I shave my legs 35. I have a twin 36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past 37. I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D. 38. I like the way that I look sometimes 39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months 40. I know how to do cornrows 41. I am usually pessimistic 42. I have a lot of mood swings 43. I think prostitution should be legalized 44. I think Britney Spears is hot 45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past 46. I have a hidden talent 47. I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. 48. I think that I’m popular 49. I am currently single 50. I have kissed someone of the same sex 51. I enjoy talking on the phone 52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants 53. I love to shop. 54. I would rather shop than eat 55. I would classify myself as ghetto. 56. I’m bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders 57. I’m obsessed with my Livejournal 58. I don’t hate anyone. 59. I’m a pretty good dancer 60. I don’t think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington 61. I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother 62. I have a cell phone 63. I believe in God/ a higher being. 64. I watch MTV/Vh1 on a daily basis 65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months 66. I love drama. 67. I have never been in a real romantic relationship before 68. I’ve rejected someone before 69. I currently have a crush on someone 70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life 71. I want to have children in the future 72. I have changed a diaper before 73. I’ve called the cops on a friend before 74. I bite my nails 75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club 76. I’m not allergic to anything 77. I have a lot to learn 78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger 79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube’s newest “Friday” movie 80. I am sometimes shy around the opposite sex 81. I’m online 24/7, even as an away message 82. I have at least 5 away messages saved 83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before 84. I have made a move on a friend’s significant other in the past 85. I own the “South Park” movie 86. I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal 87. When I was a kid I played “the birds and the bees” with a neighbor or chum 88. I enjoy some country music 90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza 91. I watch soap operas whenever I can 92. I’m obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist 93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career 94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all 95. I know all the words to Slick Rick’s “Children’s Story” 96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy 97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it 98. I have dated a close friend’s ex 99. I’m happy as of this moment 100. I was born in the 80s but I am truly a child of the 90s  101. I have slapped john dasaro and chris burke in the face..on the same night 102. I haven’t showered in two days… and I like it. 103. i own every f***er here 104. I procrastinate all the time 105. I’m a nerd 106. I LOVE the movie The Wedding Singer. 107. i hate corn. 108. i’ve attended the rocky horror picture show 109. i’ve never seen Bambi the movie 110. Thinking about the future terrifies me 111. Without music there would be no point in living. 112. If I could change one thing about myself I would 113. If someone of the same sex liked me, I would date them. 114. I went to the mall today for 5 hours ================================ Would do Have Done

001. Bought everyone in the pub a drink 002. Swam with wild dolphins 003. Climbed a mountain *004. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive 005. Been inside the Great Pyramid 006. Held a tarantula. *007. Taken a candlelit bath with someone 008. Said ‘I love you’ and meant it. 009. Hugged a tree *010. Done a striptease 011. Bungee jumped *012. Visited Paris 013. Watched a lightning storm at sea *014. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise several times *015. Seen the Northern Lights 016. Gone to a huge sports game 017. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa *018. Grown and eaten your own vegetables *019. Touched an iceberg *020. Slept under the stars 021. Changed a baby’s diaper 022. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon *023. Watched a meteor shower *024. Gotten drunk on champagne *025. Given more than you can afford to charity 026. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope 027. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment 028. Had a food fight 029. Bet on a winning horse 030. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 031. Asked out a stranger 032. Had a snowball fight 033. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier 034. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can 035. Held a lamb 036. Organized and planned a surprise party for a loved one *037. Taken a midnight skinny dip 038. Taken an ice cold bath 039. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar 040. Seen a total eclipse 041. Ridden a roller coaster 042. Hit a home run 043. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days 044. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking *045. Adopted an accent for an entire day 046. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors 047. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment *048. Had two hard drives for your computer *049. Visited all 50 states 050. Loved your job for all accounts *051. Taken care of someone who was really sick *052. Had enough money to be truly satisfied 053. Had amazing friends 054. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country *055. Watched wild whales 056. Stolen a sign 057. Backpacked in Europe *058. Taken a road-trip 059. Rock climbing 060. Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice *061. Midnight walk on the beach 062. Sky diving *063. Visited Ireland 064. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love 065. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them *066. Visited Japan 067. Bench pressed your own weight 068. Milked a cow 069. Alphabetized your records 070. Pretended to be a superhero 071. Sung karaoke 072. Lounged around in bed all day 073. Protested something you feel strongly against 074. Scuba diving *075. Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye 076. Kissed in the rain 077. Played in the mud 078. Played in the rain *079. Gone to a drive-in theater 080. Done something you should regret, but don’t regret *081. Visited the Great Wall of China 082. Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog 083. Dropped Windows in favor of something better 084. Started a business 085. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 086. Toured ancient sites 087. Taken a martial arts class 088. Swordfought for the honor of a woman 089. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight *090. Gotten married 091. Been in a movie 092. Crashed a party 093. Loved someone you shouldn’t have *094. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy 095. Gotten divorced 096. Started an office war 097. Gone without food for 5 days 098. Made cookies from scratch 099. Won first prize in a costume contest 100. Ridden a gondola in Venice 101. Gotten a tattoo 102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on 103. Rafted the Snake River 104. Been on television news programs as an “expert" 105. Got flowers for no reason 106. Made out in a public place 107. Got so drunk you don’t remember anything 108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug 109. Performed on stage 110. Been to Las Vegas 111. Recorded music 112. Eaten shark *113. Drank an entire 6 pack by yourself *114. Gone to Thailand 115. Seen Siouxsie *116. Bought a house 117. Been in a combat zone 118. Buried one/both of your parents 119. Shaved all of your hair off *120. Been on a cruise ship 121. Spoken more than one language fluently 122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone 123. Bounced a check 124. Performed in theatre 125. Read - and understood - your credit report *126. Raised children 127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy *128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour *129. Created and named your own constellation of stars 130. Taken a bicycle tour in a foreign country 131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did 132. Called or written your Congress person 133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over 135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge 136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking 137. Had an abortion 138. Had plastic surgery 139. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived 140. Wrote articles for a large publication 141. Lost over 100 pounds 142. Held someone while they were having a flashback 143. Piloted an airplane 144. Petted a stingray 145. Broken someone’s heart 146. Helped an animal give birth 147. Been fired or laid off from a job 148. Won money on a TV game show 149. Broken a bone 150. Killed a human being *151. Gone on an African photo safari 152. Ridden a motorcycle 153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph 154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced 155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol 156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild 157. Ridden a horse 158. Had major surgery 159. Ridden on a passenger train 160. Had a snake as a pet 161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon 162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing 163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours 164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states *165. Visited all 7 continents 166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days 167. Eaten kangaroo meat 168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground 169. Been a sperm or egg donor 170. Eaten sushi 171. Had your picture in the newspaper 172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime *173. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about 174. Gotten someone fired for their actions 175. Gone back to school 176. Parasailed 177. Changed your name 178. Petted a cockroach 179. Eaten fried green tomatoes 180. Read The Iliad 181. Selected one "important” author who you missed in school, and read 182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them 183. …and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you 184. Taught yourself an art from scratch 185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt *187. Skipped all your school reunions 188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language 189. Been elected to public office 190. Written your own computer language 191. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care 193. Built your own PC from parts 194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you 195. Had a booth at a street fair 196: Dyed your hair blue 197: Been a DJ 198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal 199: Written your own role playing game 200: Been arrested ====================== 1. I have self-mutilated before. 2. I still love the song Dragostea Din Tei 3. I used to like New Kids on the Block 4. The 80s was funny. 5. I have realtones enabled on my cellular phone. 6. Public bathrooms scare me 7. I have keys on my belt 8. I’m not wearing a belt 9. I hate writing 10. I hate reading 1. I love compilation CDs 12. My favorite teachers have all been guys 13. I think Bad Religion’s only been around for ten or so years 14. I don’t know who Bad Religion is. 15. I don’t wear my hood unless it’s raining 16. I enjoy smaller clubs rather than big ones 17. I’ve put a song on repeat for more than 8 hours 18. I have sound on my computer  19. Someone wants my hiney. 20. My mom loves Elvis 21. I have my own computer 22. I live on the east coast 23. My favorite animal is a kangaroo 24. I’m on vacation 25. I don’t own a pair of ripped jeans 26. I am very insecure somewhat 27. I love to dance 28. I curse way too much. 29. I choose the pansy way and star out my curse words (f*ck) 30. I feel dumb because I was just called a pansy 31. I have a flatscreen computer 32. I collect something. 33. I’m married 34. I won’t date someone who’s smaller than me smaller, as in also shorter? 35. Brass knuckles are the shit. 36. I own a hand puppet 37. I write with blue pens 38. I wear eye makeup almost every day 39. I wish I lived somewhere other than here 40. I don’t own a band shirt. Not yet anyway.. 41. I love techno. 42. I have my nipples pierced 43. I’m shitty at wrapping presents 44. I know someone in the KKK 45. I’m racist/anti-semitist. 46. I don’t know what those mean. 47. I love life most of the time 48. I have posters all over my room 49. I’ve never been a camera whore with someone.. And I want to. 50. I’m halfway done 51. I wish I lived in the 80s 52. I know what the term borgie means 53. I’m interested in social hierarchy. 54. I love music videos. 55. I have a DVD player 56. I’m drunk right now 57. I’m listening to music 58. I have a big screen TV 59. I have an STD 60. I know the singer of the Clash’s name 61. The only IM program I have is AIM 62. I skateboard regularly 63. I live on the north side of town 64. I have been to Alaska 65. I’ve worn a cowboy hat 66. I watch late night infomercials for retarded, unnecessary things 67. I LOVE DOING THE DEATH GROWL TO MY FAVORITE METAL SONGS. 68. That last question was dumb. 69. I know what the word “peligroso” means in English 70. I speak another language fluently 71. I’ve been in a limo 72. I own a bong 73. My lungs hurt 74. I know someone who’s committed suicide 75. I’ve got a six pack and I don’t need you! 76. I know what band sung the above line 77. I like strong boys. 78. I’m sick right now 79. I know someone who’s currently enlisted in the army 80. I do not own a color phone 81. My birthday is in September 82. I hate mall cops 83. I hate most cops in general 84. I’m wearing blush 85. I live in an apartment 86. I’m still in high school. 87. I own something from Victoria’s Secret 88. I don’t know a boy that wears girls pants 89. I’ve had the same best friend since I was 8. 90. Brownies are my favorite 91. So is cake 92. I’ve heard the song “Looks Good in Leather” 93. I own some sort of propaganda, fake or real 94. I deny the Holocaust happened 95. Kisses are my favorite sign of affection 96. I need to charge my phone 97. My purse could pass for a suitcase 98. I take birth control 99. I only buy what’s fashionable

1. I love bolding 2. I know someone named Mimi 3. I hate my old best friend 4. My favorite alcoholic drink is Jack n Coke 5. I have a digital camera 6. I’m talking to at least one person online 7. I like watching college basketball 8. I have never moved. 9. I have at least one cat 10. I have at least one dog 11. I’m going to see a movie tonight maybe 12. I make my own AIM icons 13. I’m in pain 14. I watch more than five shows a day 15. I love the Cure 16. My parents like some of the same music I do 17. I have never been to the dentist 18. I listen to the radio 19. I do my own laundry 20. I’ve made at least one article of clothing 21. I have/want something on my face pierced 22. I go to at least one concert a week 23. I’ve written a story 24. I’ve dyed my hair every color of the rainbow 25. I own a Grand Theft Auto game 26. My favorite pattern is camoflauge 27. I know someone who does/did cocaine 28. I have too many game systems 29. I love scary movies 30. I hate scary movies 31. I’ve had sex more than 5 times 32. My favorite chips are Lays Original 33. I think butter is unhealthy 34. I hate the Osbournes 35. I used to have dreadlocks 36. I need to take medicine for something 37. I suffer from insomnia 38. I speak ebonics 39. I’ve gambled 40. And won 41. I have at least one gay friend 42. I like going to pet stores 43. I own a dog toy 44. And I don’t have a dog 45. I own more than ten candles 46. I’ve smoked a cigarette in the shower before 47. I’ve flunked a class 48. I listen to music every day 49. I have more than one nickname 50. I wear pajamas when I feel like it 51. I’m wearing more than one jewelry item 52. I haven’t washed my hair in a week 53. I watch the Grammy’s every year 54. Along with the Macy’s Parade 55. My favorite season is winter 56. I have seen the All American Rejects live 57. And I’ve enjoyed it. 58. Boobs are nothing special 59. I go swimming at least once a week in summer. 60. I have a pool. 61. I’ve gone skinnydipping 62. I’ve played strip poker 63. And lost 64. I want a nautical star tattoo 65. My cell phone turns off when it’s charging 66. And it pisses me off 67. I used to buy my entire wardrobe from Hot Topic 68. I’ve been to albinoblacksheep.com 69. My favorite subject is History 70. And/or math 71. I am a republican 72. I am a democrat 73. I listen to the Used occasionally 74. I have been to the Warped Tour 75. I am part Mexican 76. I am part German 77. All of my grandparents are still alive. 79. I love bowling 80. I know that there is a South Park, Colorado 81. I love Dairy Queen 82. Sometimes I think I’m crazy 83. I own a Moffatts CD 84. I own a Backstreet Boys CD 85. I want plastic surgery 86. Operation, operation, snip and tie, snip and tie 87. I know what song that line is from 88. I have killed something [bugs!] 89. I’ve never had a Nokia cell phone 90. I’m never sarcastic 91. Light eyes turn me on 92. I have never been to a foreign country 93. I don’t eat enough 94. I own illegal weaponry 95. I know someone who has overdosed on something 96. And lived to tell about it 97. I don’t own a pair of mittens 98. I love the heat 99. I’ve never had a steady boyfriend/gf 100. I want to makeout.

[reggiefogarty]

The Other Side - Fangs Fogarty X Reader

Plot: You’re Fangs’ girlfriend, and go to see him as soon as you hear he’s getting out of jail (A/N I think I extended the timeline to make it make sense he would have a girlfriend after Midge?? But idk who cares)

Requested: No, I just thought I may as well while I can be bothered to write lmao

Warnings: Swearing I guess?? Sad Fangs

“Excuse me, Sheriff, I’m here for-”

“The Serpent, yeah. You’ve been here every second visiting’s been allowed for the past 48 hours.” The Sheriff turned to look at you, his face completely expressionless. “Go in. But you might want to warn him about what’s waiting out there.” He immediately switched his attention back to the file in his hand, clearly uninterested in the fact that a mob was waiting outside for a teenage boy.

You roll your eyes and walk past him, letting yourself into the ward of the holding cells, in which you had spent the majority of your time ever since your boyfriend had been arrested 2 days ago. It killed you to see him like this - he had opened up to you about his relationship with Midge the night of her murder almost a month ago now, before the two of you started dating, and you knew he’d never do anything like that, least of all to the girl he was having an affair with.

“Fangs.” You stated, entering the door to see he had already been let out of the cell and was now talking to one of the police officers, immediately rushing across the room and grabbing the boy in the tightest hug either of you had ever experienced.

“Y/N!” He replied happily, gripping you equally as tightly, so much so that you lifted off the ground as he spun you around in a circle, a grin plastered across both of your faces.

“Your personal possessions are in the bag over there.” The police office stated, gesturing towards a sealed plastic bag that had been lazily tossed towards the corner, turning and leaving the room as he wrote something on the clipboard in front of him.

“Please never get arrested again.” You pleaded once Fangs had set you down onto the floor, resting your forehead against his and placing your hands on either side of his face.

“I hardly tried to get taken in this time, but I’ll be extra careful.” He smiled before leaning down and connecting your lips, kissing you slowly and sweetly, as if the two of you had all the time in the world.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You mumbled against his lips, pulling his face further into yours, desperate to make up for lost time.

“You’ve been here the whole time.” He pointed out between kisses, a light chuckle escaping his lips.

“You know what I mean.” You shrugged it off, kissing him once more before pulling away and slipping your hand into his. 

“Should we get my stuff and get out of here?” He suggested, starting towards the bag of his possessions the officer had pointed out.

“Actually, I need to tell you something first.” You stop him and pull him back to face you.

“What is it, baby?” He questioned, sensing you were nervous and placing his hands on your waist, gazing down at you in adoration.

You hesitated, not wanting to worry him or break the smile that was on his face, but knowing you had to. “They’re all waiting for you, Fangs.” Tears threatened to choke up your speech, but you fought them back and cleared your throat, refusing to give in. “The Northsiders that think you did this. They’re out there, and they- they-”

“They want my head.” He finished the sentence for you, his speech slow and quiet, dropping his gaze from your face.

“But hey, babe, we can get through this, okay?” You refused to accept that it would be over this quickly, returning your hands to their position on the sides of his face and gazing up at him hopefully. “They’re not going to win like this. It just means we’ll have to take a different route. Toni and the guys are on their way, we’ll figure it out when they get here.”

“We’ll figure something out.” He nodded half-heartedly, speaking more to reassure you than himself. He hated when you worried about him as he knew it pained you, and he couldn’t bring himself to do that to you right now. Not when you had spent the majority of the last 48 hours in the holding cell with him, holding his hand through the bars, refusing to give up on him.

“We will.” You nodded and briefly kissed his lips once again, before pulling away and nodding towards the corner in which his bag was waiting. “Now get your shit, and let’s get out of here.”

“Hold on.” He mumbled, connecting your lips again and deepening the kiss instantly, making you smile against his lips at his eagerness.

You relaxed into the kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair, happy that you could finally do this again - it was a lot harder than you had initially thought, being with him when he was locked in the cell, as all you could do was sit and watch him as he was locked away from you and miserable, neither of you able to do anything to cheer the other one up, not even allowed to hug each other due to the strict rules the Sheriff kept.

“We’re here.” You heard Sweet Pea announce behind you, the door bursting open to reveal him, Jughead, Toni and FP entering the room. “You guys can stop making out, there’s time for that later.” He rolled his eyes and approached the two of you as you pulled away from each other, the boy instantly grabbing Fangs in an enthusiastic hug.

“We have to go. Now. The mob’s growing by the minute.” Toni stated, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards the door.

“How are we going to get out?” You question, glancing at her to see her shrug and sigh.

“Honestly, I don’t know. We’ll go check it out, see what we can decide.” She glanced around for some windows that may provide a half-decent view of the building’s surroundings. “Hey. Don’t worry about him. We’ll be okay.” Her voice softened at the realisation that you were terrified for Fangs, pulling the sleeves of your leather jacket down over your hands and nodding.

“We need to look around, case the joint.” FP stated, appearing behind you and Toni, closely followed by Sweet Pea, Jughead and Fangs, who was shrugging his Serpent jacket onto his shoulders from the bag of his belongings he had been returned. “No stupid decisions.”

You nodded, unable to speak for the fact that you were choking back tears, not listening to a word that FP continued to say as he explained what the group should do. After a minute or two, you were wakened from your daze by Fangs gripping your hand while everyone turned and ran towards various windows, attempting to see what was going on outside, as your boyfriend dragged you towards the nearest fire exit. Without saying a word, the two of you slowly and cautiously opened it an inch or two, just enough so you could see what was going on outside of it, more tears threatening to spill over the pools gathering in your eyes at the sight of the mob outside, the noise of their chanting growing by the second.

“Hey.” Fangs stopped you from walking away, grabbing your hand and pulling you to face him. “I want you to go back to the car. Now. Without me.”

“I- What?” You frowned, stepping closer to him. “I’m not leaving without you.”

“Baby, please.” His eyes pleaded with you, the deep brown of his irises glossed over with tears. “You have to go.”

“Why?” You frown, your thumb gently stroking the side of his face.

“Because I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you out there. I-”

“Fangs-”

“No, I know, you can handle yourself, I’ve seen you doing crazy shit with the Serpents for years, but I couldn’t let anything happen to you. Not when it’s because of me that you got into this mess.” He didn’t break eye contact with you while he spoke, begging you to do as he said. “Please, go now. I’ll be with you soon.”

“What the hell are you doing?” FP interrupted, approaching you with a frown on his face. “Fangs, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you need all the help we can get. You can’t send someone home.”

“It’s not like that.” He reluctantly lifted his gaze from your face to look at FP, wells of tears filling in his eyes. “I can’t- I won’t let anything happen to her, not while it’s on my head. I can’t drag her into this, just like you didn’t want to drag Jughead into it when the whole mess with Jason Blossom started.”

FP sighed but reluctantly nodded and turned away, allowing you to continue, knowing that the boy had him beat, and was hardly likely to give up anytime soon.

“Fangs, please-” You begged, a tear rolling down your cheek. “I’ll go if you really want me to. But I can’t just do nothing for you.”

“You’ve done everything you can for the past two days.” He shook his head, his hands gently cradling your waist. “I don’t want you going out into that…that with me. Because I’m not dumb, I know half of them would rather have me dead than freed, and Northsiders always have had shit aim.” He let a soft chuckle pass his lips, although both of you knew there was no humor in it.

“Okay.” You whispered, swallowing and nodding slowly. “But, please, let these guys protect you.”

“I will.” He nodded, leaning down and kissing you passionately, each of you feeling as if it may be the last time. “Now go. I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, your voice still a weak whisper. “See you on the other side.”

[erectionsandtea]

100 Questions

Tagged by @mileven-and-contemplation (you gave me something to do today)

1. What is your nickname? Maddy is my nickname :P

2. How old are you? Too fucking old, okay

3. What is your birth month? August

4. What is your zodiac sign? Leo

5. What is your favorite color? Blue, any shade :)

6. What’s your lucky number? 13, lol

7. Do you have any pets? 5 mollys (1 adult and 4 babies), 6 tetras, and a black mystery snail (all freshwater fishies and creatures) :D

8. Where are you from? ‘Murica

9. How tall are you? Like 5′7″ or so ?

10. What shoe size are you? 9 1/2 ? Give or take

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A box-full, maybe...10 pairs if we’re including slippers? Dude, I’m not sure of anything, half of my answers will end in question marks :P

12. Are you random? You tell me

13. Last person you texted? The bf :3

14. Are you psychic in any way?

15. Last TV show watched? Currently rewatching American Dad, last show not rewatched though..the new season of Archer

16. Favorite movie? 12 Angry Men (and then How to Train Your Dragon)

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Depends on what constitutes “childhood”, but I’m gonna say The Simpsons and Futurama (basically Matt Groening was my childhood)

18. Do you want children? Idk, maybe someday

19. Do you want a church wedding? Sure, if I get married, but the church has to be by a beach

20. What is your religion? I identify as neo-Pagan

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Once when 5 year-old me thought I broke my arm, and another time to the psych ward

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? Uhhh, I walked to the library once when I was like 10 without telling my parents, and a policeman picked me up, does that count?

23. How is life? A bitch, but sometimes a nice bitch, sooo basically normal

24. Baths or showers? Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing socks

26. Have you ever been famous? Briefly among Supernatural fans, when I wrote and performed this during the 2013 Mishapocalypse, I mean that’s the closest I’ve ever been (and probably ever will be)

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? I used to think so, but imagine the anxiety, fuck no

28. What type of music do you like? Literally a little bit of everything, at least one song in every genre (but mainly I’m stuck on ‘80s jams)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Not yet, lol

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Four

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side or on my stomach

32. How big is your house? One story

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I’d rather get extra sleep in the morning

34. Have you ever left the country? No, but that time is coming, soon I’ll have been all over the world!

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes! Every year at summer camp for like...6-8 years? I was pretty decent, too.

36. Do you like anyone? My boyfriend and Anna Kendrick

37. Favorite swear word? FUCK

38. When do you fall asleep? After lying in bed for like, an hour

39. Do you have any scars? Yes, and let’s leave it at that

40. Sexual orientation? If I like you, I like you

41. Are you a good liar? Fuck no

42. What languages would you like to learn? I’d like to get better at ASL, and then I’d like to learn German (but I’m absolute CRAP at languages)

43. Top 10 songs? The only two that matter are Hooked On a Feeling by Blue Swede and Footloose by Kenny Loggins

44. Do you like your country?

45. Do you have friends on the web? Yeah

46. What is your personality type? The type that people eventually get sick of and leave

47. Hogwarts house? ‘Puff pride, bitch

48. Can you curl your tongue? Noooope

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to?

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? Definitely not fond of them

52. Favorite food? Cheese, and then potatoes (especially cheesy potatoes!)

53. Favorite foreign food? Idk man, I just like food, I’m discovering new amazing stuff all the time

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I want to be clean but I’m too lazy and messy

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Be the sassiest, most fashionable, and most adorable drunk gay boy in the club (so basically be Eddie Kaspbrak)

56. What color underwear? Uhhh...commando?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 20 minutes if I actually care, 5 if I don’t

58. Do you have much of an ego? As a Leo, you’d think so, but the truth is, NOPE

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck first, then bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? Who doesn’t do this at some point?

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yesss

62. Are you a good singer? I like to think so, I know I’m not terrible

63. Biggest fears? Being alone

64. Are you a gossip? Not really..?

65. Are you a grammar Nazi? I wouldn’t be if people knew how to spell and use proper punctuation, etc.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Short on one side, shorter on the other :P

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? No, I always forget at least one

68. Favorite school subject? Choir :P (until college, then my favorite class was psychology)

69. Extrovert or introvert? An extroverted introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Yes, I took classes a year-and-a-half ago and we went to Monterey bay!

71. What makes you nervous? The better question is what doesn’t make me nervous?

72. Are you scared of the dark? ...yes. Sometimes.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I try to

74. Are you ticklish? Everywhere.

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Nope

76. Have you ever been our of your home country? Not yet, but soon

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yep, started trying things when I was 13

78. Have you ever done drugs? Yup

79. What do you fantasize about? My ships

80. How many piercings do you have? 6 lobe (3 in each ear), 2 helix (in my left ear), 1 tragus (in my right ear), and 1 nose piercing (next I’m planning to get a daith piercing, idk which side yet) (here is a chart for anyone who does not know the ear terminology)

81. Can you roll your R’s? I’ve done it 3 times in my life, all 3 were luck

82. How fast can you type? Super fucking fast, bro (and without looking at the keyboard)

83. How fast can you run? I haven’t’ run for like, 4 years, idk, but my best mile time was around 8 minutes in high school :P

84. What color is your hair? You tell me, I think it’s brown, but sometimes it looks different, like dirty blonde..?

85. What color are your eyes? Hazel :)

86. What are you allergic to? Probably dust or pollen, and my mom thinks I was allergic to our cat, but that was never looked into

87. Do you keep a journal? Tried, could never keep it up

88. Are you depressed about anything? EDIT: okay, mildly depressed, idk about what, I wish I did, but oh well, life fucking sucks that way

89. Do you like your age? ????

90. What makes you angry? Stupid drivers and people who are assholes to customer service workers

91. Do you like your own name? Uhh, it’s unique, so yeah I guess

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Yeah, I once put a tiny plastic decorative berry up there just to see if I could, and it got stuck but I was able to get it out just before I had to go onstage for a play I was in :P

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? One of each!

94. What talents do you have? If being mediocre at things still counts as talent, then I guess I can sing, play guitar, ukulele, and piano/keyboard, crochet, knit, rap, and write...but meh, I’m basically an expert amateur

95. Sun or moon?

96. How did you get your name? My parents wanted something unique, and they thought this name was elegant

97. Are you religious? Not at all

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yep, still seeing one now and planning on continuing in the future

99. Color of your bedspread? The one on my bed right now is red, but I also have a blue and an orange

100. Color of your room? White, but covered in posters and things

Idk who to tag, but if you want to do this, please do it, feel free! :D

Except for @killian-morelike-killingme and @textualselection, because I just feel like it xD

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 05/12/2020

Earlier this week, I finished and released by end-of-year list of the Top 10 Best Hit Songs of 2020, which, for once, was on time, being released on the 1st – or 2nd – of December, depending on your time zone. That means I’ve already spent hours discussing music, and to be honest, I have a pretty bad headache in addition to this, so you know, I’m not really in that chart-reviewing spirit. Thankfully, we have very few songs to review here, and a lot of it should be pretty inoffensive. Now, before that, let’s talk about the actual state of the charts because it is looking ridiculous. Ariana Grande’s “positions” spend its sixth week at #1, and welcome to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Much like last week, it was an absolute bloodbath for any non-Christmas song this week, and this especially affects the hip hop and R&B on the chart. In the UK Top 75, which I cover every week, there’s a drastic difference to the US Billboard Hot 100, and that is the lack of radio. Radio impressions or plays have never been counted on the UK Singles Chart, and whilst in the States, I understand that a lot of Christmas songs rely on the radio, this is not true at all across the pond, because, for whatever reason, Christmas songs are streamed and bought a lot here even 60 years after the song’s original release. This is likely due to a smaller, arguably less diverse population and the immense amount of streaming service-curated playlists, which serve the same purpose as radio and often have the exact same label gimmickry and payola. Regardless, there is a stupid amount of drop-outs and fallers this week, for pretty big tracks as well. Now as I said I only cover the top 75 of the UK Singles Chart because it’s just easier and really, who cares about those last 25 songs? On the UK Singles Chart proper, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved”, one of the biggest hits of 2019 and 2020, just spent its 100th week on the chart, which is insane, especially for a modern song. I think the song is dreadful but it is one of the biggest songs of all time here on the Isles, and since we’re going by my measures, it just dropped out (after spending seven weeks at #1, mind you). Of course, that’s not the only notable drop-out – and to be notable, you have to have spent five weeks on the chart or peaked in the top 40 – this week. Let’s list them, shall we? We have ���Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles, which spent 40 weeks on the chart, as well as #1 hit “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” by Jawsh 685 and Jason Derulo, “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy, “Mood Swings” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Tjay, “Lighter” by Nathan Dawe and KSI, “Take You Dancing” by Jason Derulo, “Holiday” by Little Mix, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit featuring Mabel and 24kGoldn, “Come Over” by Rudimental featuring Anne-Marie and Tion Wayne, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper, “One Too Many” by Keith Urban and P!nk, “Papi Chulo” by Octavian and Skepta, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals, “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST, “Confetti” by Little Mix, “pov” by Ariana Grande (to make way for another one of her songs we’ll get to – also probably the only actually good song that dropped out this week) and finally, “Life Goes On” by BTS off of the debut at #10. On the chart proper, this is one of the biggest free-fall drops of all time, and honestly, who wasn’t expecting this? Speaking of falls, we have a lot of those too. Whilst these are fallers, you should consider how impressive they are for even trying to survive the holiday season, which just can’t be done for a lot of these songs, even the biggest hits of the year, some of which we just mentioned. One of the funniest parts of this to me is that KSI of all people survived the overload of Christmas songs through his Craig David chorus on “Really Love” with Digital Farm Animals down to #17. For a former YouTuber, he has an immense amount of star-power and it’s kind of worrying. Otherwise, our notable fallers include “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy at #24, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur at #25 (not a good week for either of these guys – or anyone), “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #26 off of the top 10 debut, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #27, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #29, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd stripped of all of its gains at #31 (seriously, whilst most of these songs were fading naturally prior, this is worrying), “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring NAV and Don Toliver at #34, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #42 (giving him four songs as a lead artist on the chart – OCC, that’s not how your dumb rules work; be consistent), “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio really having the most intense combination of streaming cuts and Christmas music at #44, “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes flailing at #45 (it will probably rebound next week), “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #46 (same here), “Golden” by Harry Styles at #47, “Loading” by Central Cee at #48, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #49, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #50, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #52, “UFO” by D-Block Europe and Aitch at #55, “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer at #56, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #60 (which happened to play as I was writing this), “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #61, “WAP” by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #62, “Diamonds” by Sam Smith having the biggest fall to #63, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy at #65, “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D at #69, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith and Popcaan at #70, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #71 and finally, “Flavour” by Loski and Stormzy at #74. A YouTube comment on the video version of this chart read, “RIP to hip hop and R&B in the UK, 2020-2020”, and, I mean, it’s a fair assessment. That’s not all though, folks, as we have the returning entries, most of which are very explicitly Christmas songs. Let’s start with “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #75, and continue up the chart with “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #73, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #72 (always the best song on the entire chart whenever it returns), “A Little Love” by Celeste from the John Lewis advert at #64, “Feliz Navidad” by José Feliciano at #54, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by the late Dean Martin at #54, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #52, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #43, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by the late John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #40 (always the worst song on the chart whenever it returns), “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #39 (this is an accurate ranking of the Beatles), “Jingle Bell Rock” by the late Bobby Helms at #38, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #37 and “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by the late Andy Williams at #36. Yes, that’s five consecutive Christmas songs returning to the top 40, made all the more ridiculous when you realise it’s topped off by “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X... at #41 – and it actually gained this week! Oh, and we don’t stop there either as not only do we have “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande returning to #16 as well, but we also have all of the gains this week. All of our notable gains are in the top 40 and all but one are Christmas songs, so let’s start with “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis up to #33 (our greatest gain this week) and continue up the chart with “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #32, “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne at #28, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard at #23, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #22, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber and Brenda Lee at #21 and #19 respectively, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #20, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #18, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #15 (looking at this chart, I think we ALL know exactly what time it is), “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #14, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #13, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #9, “Last Christmas” by Wham! at #3, and finally, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey at #2. I don’t know if I’ll be happier if a 1994 classic hits #1 for the first time this Christmas, or an Ariana Grande song about sex positions takes the Christmas #1, given, of course, that LadBaby doesn’t pull something out of his ass last minute. Christmas also actually lands on a Friday this week, so there’s potentially two Christmas #1s: the #1 on Christmas Day and the #1 that includes Christmas Day. I mean, there’s this issue every year but since the chart week literally starts and ends on the day this year, I guess we’ll just have to see what the Official Charts Company decides. For now, after not-so-swiftly covering all of that garbage – and there’s three weeks more of it to come, folks – let’s discuss some of our new arrivals, none of which I imagine will be all that interesting but, hey, at least they’re not Christmas songs. In fact...

NEW ARRIVALS

#68 – “Body” – Megan Thee Stallion

Produced by LilJuMadeThatBeat

...It’s the antithesis of what it means to be wholesome, commercial and festive. You all know and love Megan Thee Stallion by now, and whilst I didn’t listen to that debut record yet – it is 17 songs after all – I have heard pretty positive reception so I will check out Good News at some point. Rico Nasty did release a record that’s only one less track and 13 full minutes shorter, so to be honest, I’m a lot more excited to check out that album, even if it won’t have any impact here. I did laugh at the track list when I saw “Intercourse (feat. Popcaan & Mustard)” though, which is one of the few times I have genuinely laughed at just a track list. “Shots Fired” is a pretty great Tory Lanez diss track though, so I’ll say that. “Body” is relatively deep into the track listing, yet seems to be the biggest hit, mostly because of that polarising earworm hook and the music video. Oh, yeah, and it straight-up samples a woman having an orgasm, so don’t expect this to stick around. In fact, that’s the only melody behind this dirty South bounce-adjacent track, and even with that, it only comes in on that chorus, which is less annoying to me as it is just catchy. It’s not like men haven’t done the same thing, though, I mean, Dr. Dre famously – or infamously – “paused 4 porno” on his album 2001, and just in 2018, Kanye released “XTCY”, a song that is hilariously lacking in any kind of moral compass, let alone born-again Christianity. It did the same thing that “Body” does with the moaning yet it also covers it in this really eerie sample, as well as spare 808s and a drum beat that doesn’t feel like it gets in the way of whatever the hell Kanye’s doing on this track. It also helps that the moaning doesn’t just come in on the chorus, instead we have a string swell to distinguish it, and that Kanye has more of a comical lyrical nature on “XTCY”. This comparison is only fair when looking at the production, though, as whilst Kanye has “sick thoughts”, Megan is just bragging about her own body-ody-ody-ody-ody, etc. over a pretty mainstream, accessible beat, even if it has really ugly, loud 808s that kind of do get in the way of the rapping here. Thankfully, Megan rides this beat forcefully – no pun intended – and with some really great wordplay, even if there are a few immediately dated references here and there. That third verse is also pretty funny, and whilst I don’t want to focus too much on this song – it’s a family show after all – this is pretty lively and whilst I’m not a fan of this beat, Megan makes it worth sitting through and honestly, the song sounds a lot shorter than it is. Check it out.

#67 – “Love is a Compass” – Griff

Produced by PARKWILD

I didn’t say the word “compass” on purpose knowing this song would be next, although perhaps I subconsciously snuck the word in. Maybe I should have made it seem like I foreshadowed this song, but honestly what about this warrants foreshadowing? I don’t mind Disney music at all. In fact, a lot of the films are full of really classic compositions that have aged incredibly, including the Renaissance era of their films, especially. In fact, “I’ll Make a Man Out of You” from Mulan – the original – is one of the few soundtrack songs that is directly related to and featured in the film yet I can still listen to outside of that context. I’ve not even watched either Mulan – or have Disney+ - so it’s not like I’m a big fan, but I can appreciate the music when I find it, even if I mostly despise everything Disney stands for as a company. The issue with this is that it cannot apply to “Love is a Compass”. I’m sure Griff and her producer PARKWILD are talented musicians, but this is purely a product. This wasn’t even made for an original animated feature, or a painfully weak adaptation of one of their original animated features starring Will Smith as the Genie. This is a generic piano ballad made for an advert, because just like literal shops and manufacturing companies like John Lewis, Disney has a Christmas advert. There’s nothing artistic about this. This “emotional” piano ballad is layered in reverb and egregious Auto-Tune that drains Griff of whatever emotion her delivery could have had. It doesn’t sound good in this context at all and it is so obvious, which is unfortunate because her voice, Auto-Tuned in a similar way, could easily work over more lo-fi and interesting production. As it is, this is repulsive, sonically and on every other level beyond that.

#66 – “Angels Like You” – Miley Cyrus

Produced by Louis Bell and watt

So, Miley Cyrus dropped her album, Plastic Hearts, last week and I expected more impact on the chart but the two singles are really THAT big that not any of the album cuts had much of a chance, even if “Prisoner” dropped a few spaces. Other than that, “Midnight Sky” is still in the top five and near the end of the chart, we have a debut: “Angels Like You”. It’s clear why this charted because this isn’t just a highlight from the album or a personal favourite of mine, but it’s a fan favourite honestly, a career highlight – which may not be hard to make, I mean, it’s Miley Cyrus we’re talking about – but it still impresses me with how much I really love this song. This is more of a mellow ballad than many of the tracks surrounding it on the record, with Cyrus’ raspy country twang finally met with a fitting blend of acoustic guitars and a genuine orchestral swell in the chorus, even if at times it decides to start clipping. The shift in guitar tone to a dirtier, aggressive one after the first chorus is a genius touch, and even the pretty stiff drum machine here feels like it adds a lot to the power of this song, especially when it starts kicking behind the screeching guitar solo, leading into an admittedly anti-climactic final chorus... that might even be fitting for the content, which is a break-up song but not one that decides to deflect blame or even focus entirely on the break-up, rather being an acknowledgement of what both parties here did wrong, and why they ended up in the relationship to begin with. Both Cyrus and her ex-girlfriend Kaitlynn Carter were in rough spots coming off of previous relationships in late 2019 and those dark spots are what Cyrus understands lead to the collapse of this relationship. She discusses the lack of connection between the two in the first verse, leading to a literally nameless relationship where it was full of romantic gestures but not any depth. The chorus is a complex look at how Cyrus knew she would look back on the relationship as little more than a fling, but how she regrets that this is her only view of the relationship. She didn’t want anything more and split after things started getting too serious, and feels genuine guilt for using Carter to heal her own depression, because “misery needs company”. She uses the biblical metaphor to demonstrate how she feels she tugged down her girlfriend, described here as an “angel”, to the hell Cyrus thinks she resides in, which may be melodramatic, sure, but I’d be lying if I said Cyrus doesn’t completely sell it here, with some of her best vocals to date, backed up by gorgeous production and really well-written lyrics. This is a genuinely brilliant ballad, give it a listen.

#58 – “Naughty List” – Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio

Produced by TMS

I’ve been writing these producers as “TM5” for so long without realising it’s an abbreviation for “The Music Shed”. Anyway, I hope we can all agree that Liam Payne is probably the worst off when comparing the One Direction boys and their solo careers so far. Harry Styles is one of the biggest stars in the world, making a twist on 70s classic rock that I don’t like at all but he IS making headlines and having massive chart success. Niall Horan is having mild success making rock and folk albums that are honestly alright, ZAYN has two albums under his belt that may not be listenable but at least the first one was a success and he did go into a more mature R&B direction, and Louis Tomlinson might not have been met with any success from his album earlier this year but at least there’s some quality there. Liam Payne, however, has been releasing straight garbage to no fanfare for the past three years, dating back to “Strip that Down” with Quavo, and continuing down the path of feigning maturity and development with music clearly not backing it up, demonstrated by the bisexual fetishism on his delayed debut album and how his collaborations went from relying on Zedd to relying on J Balvin to relying on TikTok stars on a sexually-charged Christmas single that couldn’t even crack the top 50. I have no idea who Dixie D’Amelio is other than seeing her sister’s controversies on Twitter in passing, but it is depressing that a major-label pop star needs D’Amelio to chart this high – and no, given his most recent singles with bigger features like A Boogie wit da Hoodie and Cheat Codes, as well as the shoddy performance of his last Christmas song, I’m not even considering that it’s the other way around. This immediately, in its first 15 seconds, makes sure you know this will be awful, with its tedious acoustic guitar strumming fused with cheap sounding sleigh bells and dated trap percussion, even with little “hey!” gang vocals straight out of 2014 that make this sound a lot less new and fresh than I think Payne thought it did. Also, something about these lyrics sounds really odd when you consider the age gap between the two vocalists. I mean, D’Amelio’s 19 years old, so it’s not like this is illegal in any way (and they didn’t have any chemistry to begin with), but the childlike imagery in the chorus just makes this gross. “Santa saw the things we did and put us on the naughty list”? This has less subtlety than 3OH!3’s Christmas song they released this year. Yes, that happened, and somehow the two washed-up early 2010s pop stars made a “dirty” Christmas song that is miles better than Liam Payne’s, probably because of the more interesting lyrical detail, and that, you know, it isn’t a duet. Check out “KISSELTOE” if you’re interested, it’s really good. I liked their comeback single with 100 gecs too so I’m pretty excited for whatever comes out of 3OH!3’s recent productivity. This song, on the other hand, as well as the upcoming joke, is just Payne-full.

#53 – “No Time for Tears” – Nathan Dawe and Little Mix

Produced by Tré Jean-Marie and Nathan Dawe

Okay, so, I understand the marketing of releasing a single after a long time of not releasing a single and after your singles have all dropped out of the chart, but Little Mix are just being managed horribly here. Why would you release a single in the Christmas season that you want to be big? This isn’t a holiday song in any way and doesn’t even sound like one, so releasing it this early into the Christmas season is just begging for it to be forgotten and eventually flop. Nathan Dawe is an EDM DJ so he doesn’t need this type of promotion as long as he can tour next year and he’s got big features, and Little Mix don’t need any extra singles because they’re still in the top 10 and they’ve branched out to reality television. Just let the girls breathe for a second and enjoy their success. Oh, and this song isn’t just logistically unnecessary, it’s sonically unnecessary, acting as a house-pop club banger with that standard piano sound reminiscent of 90s house that has been adopted recently by DJs, with any of the infectious melodies and genuine drive sucked out of it, especially if Dawe is going to add a Goddamn trap breakdown in the second verse with the most pathetic set of percussion I’ve heard in years on a house track. It’s not like Little Mix are saving this either because the lyrical content is re-tread and their performances are largely unrecognisable from each other and songs they’ve made before. Yeah, this isn’t offensive, but it isn’t interesting, outside of that bridge, but even then it builds up perfectly to a chorus that’s interrupted by a pointless, repetitious interlude. This song isn’t just uninteresting, it’s inherently unnecessary on all fronts, which if anything, is just kind of sad.

#35 – “All You’re Dreaming Of” – Liam Gallagher

Produced by Simon Aldred and Andrew Wyatt

Surely out of all of these songs, I’d have the most to say about our top 40 debut, with Liam Gallagher, former frontman of legendary rock band Oasis,  and his new lead single, right? Well, no, because here are some unfortunate truths: Oasis made two good albums, and they’re not as good as you remember. Liam Gallagher is an awful person who continued to rip off his own band with his new one, without the songwriting ability his brother Noel had. Liam continues to be persistent in his making of enemies for no other reason than publicity. Noel’s reaching out to Liam for the sake of at least reconciliation goes completely unnoticed, ignored or criticised by Liam for no discernable reason other than an on-and-off again facade that’s been going on for more than a decade. Noel wasn’t even that great of a songwriter, relying mostly on musicianship and other people’s melodies he liked to co-opt for his own tracks. None of their solo work has been listenable yet still gathers attention that I imagine is to the dismay of those other band members in Oasis who, ultimately, made those classic albums as much as the Gallaghers. Where’s the praise for Bonehead, Guigsy or even Gem Archer, who stuck it out despite decreasing popularity, utter lack of musical quality and increasing tensions between the people who kept the band afloat until they decided to break up? Both Noel and Liam look at Oasis with regret or admiration depending on how they feel that day but when you look at who REALLY won that Britpop battle tabloids liked to hype up in the 1990s, you realise how far away Oasis was from Blur or even Pulp in terms of not only their songs but having their stuff together. This new song is complete garbage as well, with a pretty awful mixing job, Liam being as distinctively nasal and infuriating as he is with any of his songs let alone his uninteresting ballads, and the COVID-19 charity pandering that comes off as really false, especially since even after Noel released an Oasis track this year as a result of the lockdown – and Liam whining about how he wants to bring the band together to help the NHS – he criticised the honest release of the demo, which Noel wrote and sang himself. It’s also especially telling how the proceeds are only going to benefit charity for its first month of release. Afterwards, Liam and the label can scrape up whatever leftover streams they get from diehard fans. I don’t like Band Aid at all, in fact the song is pretty damn rancid, but at least they keep on recording updated versions to give to modern charities. Liam, you’ve got a bank account the average Manchurian would dream of. This charity single is a fraud, and a pretty hypocritical, immoral one at that.

Conclusion

I think on principle on how fake it is and how awful the song is, I have to give Worst of the Week to Gallagher... but I have a rule against crowning any kind of charity single with that title. At the end of the day, at least something at some point is going to the people who need it. Worst of the Week in that case goes to “Naughty List” by Liam Payne and Dixie D’Amelio, with a Dishonourable Mention to the product that is Griff’s “Love is a Compass”. Best of the Week should be obvious as it’s going to Miley Cyrus for “Angels Like You”, with an Honourable Mention to Megan Thee Stallion’s “Body”. Here’s this week’s top 10:

May I remind you this is the first week of December? Anyway, I doubt Shawn Mendes will make anything through the barrage of holiday tracks, but if he does, that’s next week. Thank you for reading and follow me at @cactusinthebank for more ramblings of this sort, I suppose. See you next week!

[nintendo-666]

killing time while I wait for my bf with a questionnaire I rememeber doing back in like middle school lol

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? My phone has been dead all day and therefore I cannot recall whom I have texted most recently. 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? Ye me and Dylan still talk most days, he’s like my bff 3. Have you taken someones virginity? lol yeah. like too many times. idk I became sexually active really early in life so yeaaa. 4. Is trust a big issue for you? Yes actually. Which you wouldn’t expect because I overshare so much but ye. 5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? The love of my life visits me for his lunch breaks every day that he’s working and I’m not so yeah I saw him a few hours ago c: 6. What are you excited for? Doing some more xtc and doing a d with my baby tonight. 7. What happened tonight? Nothing yet tonight, but last night I also rolled pretty hard and stayed up too late lel 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? Fuck no. Let girls do whatever they want, let people live their lives, drinking is fun, stop being judgmental. 9. Is confidence cute? This is a very insecure and weird question to ask. I don’t think a person’s cuteness is defined by their like self esteem and social skills. 10. What is the last beverage you had? I’m drinking a fruit punch rn!! 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? I don’t have an opposite sex and I don’t trust a lot of people. 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? lol I only have one pair of pants that are not skinny jeans. 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? ooh that’s tonight! so yeah my night plans are the same, except now I’m also gonna check out kk slider on my new save file on acnl. 14. What are you going to spend money on next? electric bill lol 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? Yes!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I mean I’ve been growing up a lot lately so I’m hoping that’ll continue. 17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? uhhh Gary, Dylan, or my Mum 18. The last time you felt broken? pretty much constantly tbqh 19. Have you had sex today? Ugh no I had multiple surgeries on my reproductive organs in the last two weeks so like I’m not supposed to have anything happening down there for some days or weeks still. tragic. 20. Are you starting to realize anything? That’s so 2016 21. Are you in a good mood? Yeah I suppose! 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? YES 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? Nah. Somehow his eyes are brown and my penetratingly bright blues powered through them dominant genes. 24. What do you want right this second? Status report of my night lol 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? :^///// 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? Nope, never again. 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Oh absolutely not 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? I cannot remember :o 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yeah dude I miss all my friends in different states and countries pretty badly. Mainly my Massachusetts bff Jamie and my dad. 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Not everyone. 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? Lol yeah but I also love that lil shit 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? Yep! 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? Oh god no way I drink it at every opportunity. I love soda. 34. Listening to? Bob’s Burgers is on in the background 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? I mean not really. 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? Yeee 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. However sometimes you can immediately be attracted to someone, and you just so happen to also have very compatible personalities and this develop feelings for one another quite quickly. 38. Who did you last call? da boifwend 39. Who was the last person you danced with? Oh god I have no idea. #toocooltodance 40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I’m in love with him and his lips make me happy. 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? Uuuuuhhhhhh whenever the superbowl was? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? No :c I don’t see them like all the time these days. Which is a TRAVESTY. 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? Oh constantly. I’m in an endless state of crippling embarrassment. And combine that with my very obvious social anxiety and mild clumsiness, I’m always doing things that are impossible to live down in front of people I very much like. 44. Do you tan in the nude? I do not tan under any circumstances. 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? Hell no. 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? uhh yes and no. We basically talk until we decide we’re too tired, then quietly cuddle to sleep. 47. Who was the last person to call you? I haven’t the slightest. Probably my insurance or something boring like that. 48. Do you sing in the shower? Yeah dude I’m a superstar in there 49. Do you dance in the car? YEAH DUDE I’m a superstar in there 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? Tragically, no. 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I have no idea. I do casual photoshoots with pro photographer friends kind of a lot. 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Fuck no I love musicals. 53. Is Christmas stressful? Only if you let it be. 54. Ever eat a pierogi? This question has always perplexed me. But yeah. Just the cheese and potato ones tho. 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? I mean like I want to say raspberry or strawberry, but they always end up too acidic. So I guess like apple, cause it’s always sweet and hard to fuck up. 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Astronaut, actor. 57. Do you believe in ghosts? It sucks like I can’t reasonably justify the belief with everything else that I think and feel, but the thought of ghosts is just so fun, you know? 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yeah it’s so weird I dun like it 59. Take a vitamin daily? Nope 60. Wear slippers? I don’t think I own any 61. Wear a bath robe? Sometimes Gary drapes his across me in the mornings if I get cold. 62. What do you wear to bed? naked when I’m with Gary, shirt and underwear while I’m alone. 63. First concert? I saw Say Anything with two of my friends in middle school!! 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target fosho but Wal-Mart for food and sometimes Kmart is best for clothes shockingly. 65. Nike or Adidas? I really don’t care 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos all day, Fritos are gross. 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts are way more fun 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? Ugh 69. Ever take dance lessons? I did Irish Dance briefly as a small child. 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I want my spouse to do whatever makes them happiest. However I do sincerely want to be with Gary forever and I know he’s very good at his passion, which is recording and audio mixing and stuff for bands. Also his drumming skills are insane. 71. Can you curl your tongue? I’ve never met a human being who cannot and also it has nothing to do with kissing skills so who cares? 72. Ever won a spelling bee? UGH NO I came in like 3rd place because I had to pee really bad and I misheard the word. 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Mhmm 74. What is your favorite book? I really don’t like reading, man :/ I got a focus issue. It’s really sad actually. 75. Do you study better with or without music? I don’t studyyy 76. Regularly burn incense? Yeah c: 77. Ever been in love? Yeah, a few times. 78. Who would you like to see in concert? I just need to see Marilyn Manson again. 79. What was the last concert you saw? Marilyn Manson in Boston lol 80. Hot tea or cold tea? idk both are great, it really depends on the mood. 81. Tea or coffee? generally coffee for effectiveness, but tea for enjoyability. 82. Favorite type of cookie? I don’t too much care for cookies, but oatmeal raisin soft cookies are pretty tolerable. 83. Can you swim well? Yeah dude I grew up in Florida. 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? I actually really struggle with it lmao 85. Are you patient? Not at all man 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Ohhhh that’s a tough one. I feel like both would be cool. They’re just so vastly different, you know? 87. Ever won a contest? omg yeah recently I won a $600 Epiphone Les Paul Custom Pro from work for signing people up for the same prize in a sweepstakes. 88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nah but I’m not against it by any means. 89. Which are better black or green olives? Green olives can go and fuck themselves 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? lol it’s so stupid not to 91. Best room for a fireplace? idk I guess like a living room or something???? 92. Do you want to get married? Yeah tbh

[wishfulthinking29]

1-85

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

No, emotional and spiritual connection is most important in a relationship.

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

Yes. 100% yes. But only with the right people.

3. Are you a virgin?

No

4. Are you in a relationship?

Not for long. Not for long at all. Tomorrow is the day. So I hope anyhow.

5. Are you in love?

Hopesessly and very deeply, yes

6. Are you single this year?

I will be.

7. Can you commit to one person?

The right person yes. I only want one person for the rest of my life.

8. Describe your crush

God she's the closest thing to perfection there is. She's sweet, funny, caring, loving, and so beautiful. She's got so much inner beauty which only makes her outer beauty shine so much more.

9. Describe your perfect mate

She is. Everything she is, is everything I will ever need or want.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I loved her from the very first time I saw her. And I never never stopped since that day. So yeah.

11. Do you ever want to get married?

Only if it's to her.

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

I have forgiven it. It's not an easy thing to do.

13. Do you get jealous easily?

Yeah but usually only if I feel like I have a reason to be jealous

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

Not just a crush. I'm in love with someone.

15. Do you have any piercings?

Yeah I do. Only my ears though

16. Do you have any tattoos?

Not yet

17. Do you like kissing in public?

I'm iffy about it. I think some things should be kept private but if it's an appropriate situation to kiss in then yes

20. Do you shower every day?

Yes always, unless I'm just so depressed I can't get out of bed

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

I know someone does.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I hope so.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I have and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I lasted 3 years in a relationship and didn't ever think about cheating once. I didn't need to think about it because I had all I ever needed.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

In the heart, yes. But ceremony and all? I'm not sure. I want to save up and have a beautiful wedding and enough for a honeymoon. That may take some time.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

Yeah. With her. Only with her.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yes..

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

Not that I can remember. Lots of sappy love messages though, and letters!

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

Yeah

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

... yeah. Two wrongs don't make a right. That's an important lesson to take to heart.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

No I haven't. I don't necessarily like my body but it's mine and changing it wouldn't help my self image any. I have to learn to love me for me. I'm working on it.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?

Man have I lol

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

In a way? I wasn't really in love though. I just thought I was at the time.

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

Gross dont remind me

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

Yes

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

The only people I've ever kissed were older than me

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

Yeah

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Yeah

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yeah. It was a mistake. I didn't really like him, only the idea of him. What he was in the beginning. But he's not that person.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

No but I want to

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

Yeah

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

It depends.

43. How long was your longest relationship?

3 years.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

Only 2

45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?

Lmao none! I was 11/12. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. The best kiss of my life.

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

Can't count it

47. How old are you?

21

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

That's complicated. It wouldn't be fair for me to say anything. But my heart would be absolutely crushed. I can't even explain it..

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

Literally nothing lol

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I did accept. Not that she had much to apologize for. Only it wasn't knocking on my door. It was knocking on my Facebook messenger lol

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?

God yes. I'd go to the moon and back for her.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?

Yeah. Because he's done nothing but abuse me and hurt me. And I'm done with it.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Dating? Yeah. Not mad, but.. just wants me to get out. And talking to? No. They understand why I'm talking to who I am.

54. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes..

55. Share a relationship story.

Okay, imagine this. It's the night before your 2nd anniversary. It's a long distance relationship and you're together for a few days. You go outside. It's dark. You hear noises. What do you find? Baby racoons! Soooo we spent the morning of our anniversary taking them to the nearest animal sanctuary. It was such an adventure and so fun.

56. State 8 facts about your body

Firstly, and most importantly, it tells a story. It was my canvas for a while. Maybe a gruesome way to put that, but fuck, it's true. I took my hatred and my depression and my anxiety out on myself. I hated myself back then. I'm not thin either, I have stretch marks everywhere. I don't usually shave bc I'm lazy. I have a big scar on my back from when I had surgery both times. Uhhh, three more. My hair is soft but really thin bc I wash it too much. My cuticles always are dry and red bc I pick at them bc of my anxiety. I'm also not tan at all bc I don't go outside much anymore

57. Things you want to say to an ex

I've already said them to her. She knows how I feel..

58. What are five ways to win your heart?

You can't bc she has it. The only way to win my heart is to be her.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)

Look at my profile picture on here! I don't take a lot of pictures of myself anymore.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

11 years

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Whether they can look me in the eyes or not. I think that says a lot about a person.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

I don't particularly wanna answer that lmao

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?

I think it's sex even if you're just touching someone's private areas.

64. What is your definition of cheating?

Having sex, I guess. Sending pictures too.

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

Making out. Heavy petting. Neck kisses.

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

I don't really have one tbh

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Anywhere as long as it's with her. But honestly? I love picnics a ton

68. What is your sexual orientation?

God Im so gay.. like so so so so gay

69. What turns you off?

Men lol

70. What turns you on?

Her

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

I don't wanna go there... lol

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

I love to hear moaning. And like, cum for me baby. Ugh. So hot.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

Surprise me. Like completely catch me off guard

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?

Pretty eyes

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

Love me through everything I've put her through.. but, really though, write me letters. Like a "when you're mad" letter, and "when you're sad" letter, and so on.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

I gave her one of those mason jars full of reason why I love her.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

As long as both parties are over 18, it's really not a big deal. You do you. It's all about maturity levels and how well your personalities vibe.

78. What’s your dirtiest secret?

Nope

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?

I haven't felt jealous in a while. I don't care what he does.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Like an hour ago?

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

Only her

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

My grandma

83. Who was your first kiss with?

Her..

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

Because I was stupid as fuck

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?

I did.. best thing that's ever happened to me. Best decision ever.