#because i think record would require a good mental stat

[boombazled]

Hmm thinking about a trash of the counts family and these s classes that I raised crossover

Would Cale's abilities be ranked? Or would it just show up as unranked / □ to Han Yoojin? Same with Choi Han's miru. And if there is a rank what would the ranks be? From Cale's earth the skills seem to be more rounded and useful but maybe that's because they didn't have any description to tell them how to use their abilities and made the best out of them they could? Plus I think the names of the abilities came from themselves rather than seeing the names previously. Although it would be fun to consider the names that Han Yoojin's world sees are the names that Cale's world gave to their own powers.

Would the s class characters see Instant's recoil and think that Cale doesn't have enough defense for his own skills?

I don't think the Ancient powers would show up as a skill for them.

A lot of it is comparing the world's. Like how I mentioned that Cale's world seems to be more powerful with their abilities, but have harsher recoil, where in Han Yoojin's world, the skills are safer(safER not necessarily safe) to use but may be more narrow in use.

[masterweaverx]

I be a nerd, I be liking D&D, and I be watchin' a lot of Tulok the Barbrarian's 'Building Character' series, where he puts together how to play as various fictional characters in fifth edition up to level 20. He's done Ruby, he's done Yang, but I was bored so I figured I'd follow his format and try to guess how he'd do Blake. This is going to be a lot of Nerd Rambling, so here we go.

So, outlining the goals: Agility is a must for any Blake build, she's got a lot of nimbleness to her. She also uses two swords--one of which is also a whip and a pistol, and the other a sheathe that can be combined to make an extra sword--so she should have weapon versatility. And of course there's her semblence, can't have a Blake without a Blake Buddy, and we need that Blake Buddy to be useful.

Tulok uses standard point array for a reason, it skips over the fiddliness of 'rolling' and 'pointbuy'. Also useful for organizing high stats to low. Blake's very nimble and a lot of her weapons count as finesse or ranged, so putting the 15 into dexterity is a no-brainer. She's also very good at spotting things and analyzing the situation--wisdom's generally where that sort of thing comes from, so it gets a 14. Charisma is the skill you need to make big speeches about how the White Fang has gone downhill and get people to listen, plugging the 13 in there seems good. And she likes her books, so 12 for intelligence is obvious. Between strength and constitution I think I'd dump strength--constitution is about HP and endurance, so it'd get the 10, and proficiency in the Athletics skill should make up for the weakness having an 8 in strength gives.

For race, I'd say a Swiftstride Shifter works best. Specifically the statblock from the Races of Eberron Unearthed Arcana--I've seen one without Keen Senses and, yeah, that didn't make sense to me. Swiftstride Shifters get +2 to their Dexterity, bumping Blake up to 17, and +1 to their Charisma, evening that out to 14. They also get sixty feet of Darkvision, Keen Senses for an automatic Perception proficiency, and Graceful for an automatic Acrobatics proficiency. And then there's the big draw--automatically got 35 walk speed (5 more than the usual norm), plus they can trigger a one-minute transformation for both another +5 speed (total of 40 feet) and the ability to move 10 feet as a reaction when an enemy ends their round within 5 feet of them without triggering attacks of Oppurtunity. (Also get some temporary hit points during the transformation, but that's a side benefit.) Blake's hard to hit even before she gets class levels. And her first class level will make her even harder to hit.

For Background I figure Courtier from Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide works best. It gives Blake proficiency in Insight and Persuasion, two extra languages of her choice, and the feature Court Functionary. To quote the online source I'm using:

Your knowledge of how bureaucracies function lets you gain access to the records and inner workings of any noble court or government you encounter. You know who the movers and shakers are, whom to go to for the favors you seek, and what the current intrigues of interest in the group are.

Very much something Blake would be interested in. Admittedly, for her noble courts are more the 'legally dubious' organizations like the White Fang and the Happy Huntresses, but being the daughter of the chief of Kuo Kuana probably gives her some political acumen anyway.

I'm not going to go level-by-level like Turlok does, I don't think anyone here wants me to ramble too much, but I will say Blake will be getting nine levels of Rogue and eleven of Fighter. Four Rogue levels, five Fighter levels, five more Rogue levels, then six Fighter levels. Starting with Rogue gives her a lot of proficiencies, and fighter... a lot less, when she multiclasses into it, but enough to shore up Rogue. Rogues get proficiencies in Light Armor and Simple Weapons (and a bunch of specific Martial Weapons, but multiclassing into Fighter gives her all the Martial Weapons anyway so no need to be specific there). They also get proficiencies in Thieves' Tools, which work on traps as well as locks, and on Dexterity and Intelligence saving throws--Blake's smart enough not to be fooled and nimble enough to get out of the way. Finally, they get four skill proficiencies, and I figure Blake would go with Athletics, Deception, Investigation, and Stealth to round out her ninja-ing. Multiclassing into Fighter gives a character proficiency in Simple and Martial Weapons, as well as Light and Medium Armor and Shields; honestly, Blake isn't going to be using those proficiencies much, it's more for the class features, but I thought I'd mention them.

With nine levels of Rogue come most of the standard Rogue abilities, which mostly make Blake that much harder to hit, so I'll only go over the stuff that has to be chosen. Blake gets two expertises on their first and sixth level, which she can choose to place on any skill to double her proficiency bonus on them; Acrobatics, Athletics, Investigation, and Persuasion are what I figured fit her most.

A third level Rogue chooses a Roguish Archetype, and the website I'm using has 'Acrobat' as an option; that gives Blake Ariel Artistry at third Rogue level (When she moves, she can instead take two short movements by flying. Each movement is half her speed, and she must end each one on a solid object or the ground. If she does not, she falls and her movement ends.) and Fearless Aerialist at ninth Rogue level (she no longer takes damage from falling).

And then there are the Ability Score Improvements at fourth and eighth level; for fourth level I figure Blake would appreciate the Dual Wielder feat, and because I'm splitting 4-5-5-6  that means the eighth level Improvement is actually Blake's third improvement, so there's be +1 to Dexterity and +1 to Intelligence (because she already got +2 to Dexterity from Fighter), so that would cap her Dexterity at 20 and make her Intelligence 13. Also, the Dual Wielder feat for reference:

You master fighting with two weapons, gaining the following benefits:

You gain a +1 bonus to AC while you are wielding a separate melee weapon in each hand. You can use two-weapon fighting even when the one-handed melee weapons you are wielding aren't light. You can draw or stow two one-handed weapons when you would normally be able to draw or stow only one.

So this basically covers most of Blake's "normal" mobility, but her combat capabilities and Semblance will be covered by Fighter.

The non-variable Fighter improvements boil down to 'extra attacks, extra actions, and a few features to help you shrug off damage.' Blake is nothing if not tenacious. Of the variable features, I think she'd pick up the Two-Weapon Fighting Style on her first Fighter level, because that lets her use her ability score with the damage of her bonus attack with her offhand weapon (high Dex, lotta hitting power). Her ability score improvments at Fighter Level Four, Six, and Eight would be two points to Dexterity, Charisma, and Wisdom respectively. For those at home, that means her Dexterity is 20, Charisma and Wisdom 16 each, Intelligence 13, Constitution 10 and Strength 8 when all's said and done. Of course, third level fighters get to pick a martial Archetype that gives them benefits as they level, and Echo Knight is perfectly suited for Blake. Right off the bat, she gets this:

Manifest Echo 3rd-level Echo Knight feature

You can use a bonus action to magically manifest an echo of yourself in an unoccupied space you can see within 15 feet of you. This echo is a magical, translucent, gray image of you that lasts until it is destroyed, until you dismiss it as a bonus action, until you manifest another echo, or until you're incapacitated.

Your echo has AC 14 + your proficiency bonus, 1 hit point, and immunity to all conditions. If it has to make a saving throw, it uses your saving throw bonus for the roll. It is the same size as you, and it occupies its space. On your turn, you can mentally command the echo to move up to 30 feet in any direction (no action required). If your echo is ever more than 30 feet from you at the end of your turn, it is destroyed. You can use the echo in the following ways:

-As a bonus action, you can teleport, magically swapping places with your echo at a cost of 15 feet of your movement, regardless of the distance between the two of you.

-When you take the Attack action on your turn, any attack you make with that action can originate from your space or the echo's space. You make this choice for each attack.

-When a creature that you can see within 5 feet of your echo moves at least 5 feet away from it, you can use your reaction to make an opportunity attack against that creature as if you were in the echo's space.

Unleash Incarnation 3rd-level Echo Knight feature

You can heighten your echo's fury. Whenever you take the Attack action, you can make one additional melee attack from the echo's position.

You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Constitution modifier (a minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

At Fighter level seven, Blake would get Echo Avatar, which lets her send her Echo on scouting missions for ten minutes at a time. Not very in character, sure. But she's very aware of everything anyway, so it's not surprising she'd have eyes and ears everywhere. And then, at level ten, she gets the very appropriately named Shadow Martyr, which lets her make her Echo teleport and take the hit for any creature she can see being attacked as a reaction. That is very much in character for Blake.

Technically, the eleventh level of Fighter (and the twentieth level of the build) gives her another extra attack, which could be devastating with all the weapons she can juggle thanks to Dual Wielder and her weapon proficiencies. I'm not sure if that's better then a tenth level in Rogue, which would give her another ability score improvement, but it does mean she can rain down a lot of pain very quickly--and the woman cut down a missile barrage once! While boosted. But it happened!

So yeah, that's my take on it.

[greenhanded-redthumbed]

Just A Small Town Boy

Clark grew up with his parents telling him how he fell from the sky. He wouldn’t believe them if it hadn’t been for the other things: that he’s strong enough to lift a tractor, that he can start a fire a hundred metres away with just his eyes, that he can fly. They tell him that he’s a miracle child: a gift. And that everything he can do just makes him more perfect, even if they have to hide them away for now. 

Not yet, they insist, they’re not ready for you yet. 

He accepts it, practicing to control his powers at night in the field next to their house. He wades through the wheat stalks that rise to his shoulders and is careful not to face anything important (he’d accidentally demolished far too many walls growing up, and even though his parents were more than happy to keep up with the continuous renovations, he still tries his best to keep everything in one piece). He learns to avoid certain bright lights that bring about a burning in the back of his eyes, to keep headphones with him for when his hearing runs rampant picking up anything said for miles and to always have an elastic around his wrist to keep him present and remind him to use human strength rather than super strength. (The Kents have an entire draw devoted to the elastics and other such trinkets ready for them to give way).

Clark’s gotten better at controlling his powers over the years, with the reports of alien sightings around Smallville dropping as he gets older. But he can’t stay forever.

He loves his parents dearly - loves the farm too, it’s the only home he’s ever known. And as much as he’d love to stay here, he can’t. He can do things no one else can, he can help people no one else can. But there’s not that many people in Smallville, and not much to save them from.

So he leaves, heads to the big city to pursue a career in journalism (because how else is he going to know who’s in trouble). Clark considers working with the police, but a quick read of the papers tells him of the high levels of corruption - all of them probably aren’t bad, but Clark has never been good at reading people and thinks he’s better safe than sorry.

His spotless record, good grades and glowing letters from his high school teachers is enough to land him an internship at one of the bigger newspapers in the city. The Daily Planet.

Clark turns up for his first day bright eyed, watching the chattering reporters move around the cubicles on the office floor - some darting forward with bundles of papers in their arms as they reach a breakthrough while others meander slowly and chatter greetings to their coworkers.

He doesn’t know what he expected - certainly not his own office and free reign, but maybe something more than cramped square metre cubicle with a desk crammed in (the walls of the cubicle barely reach his ears so the full-time, seasoned journalists can see if there’s someone to make coffee for them). 

Occasionally, someone drops off a list of some kind for him to grab files on:

“I need the profit margins of these companies on my desk by six”

“Can you get the M.P.D crime stats to me by this afternoon?”

“I want you to pull up all our previous stories on the mayor and check what our bias is.”

It’s not exactly saving anyone, but it’s a foothold as a journalist. He’ll get there. 

And he does - after a few months or so of perfecting his coffee-making skills and navigating the achingly slow computer he’s been given, a file is dropped unceremoniously into his cubicle. Clark pulls the headphones from his ears, letting the office chatter settle around him and turns to see one of the reporters looking down at him. The dark-skinned man would be shorter than him if he was standing, bulky and dressed in a neat, navy suit - Clark recognises him instantly as one of the more senior reporters.

“What do you need Mr. White?” Clark asks, one hand moving to fiddle nervously at the hair at the nape of his neck. It’s the latest manifestation of his fiddling - he doesn’t have his parents stockpile of rubber bands and always seems to lose them in the mess of his tiny desk. 

Mr. White, Perry as Clark recalls, “I want you to write this report. Twelve lines. Puff piece: local orphanage.” 

“Write a- write a report?” Clark stutters, surprised it’s not just another files request.

“Yes, Kent,” Perry White says slowly and Clark jumps at his own name, “You do want to be a reporter, don’t you?”

“Y-yes, of course,” Clark stammers, pulling the paper-thin file closer, “I’ll get on this right away, sir.”

“I’m not ‘sir’, Kent. Not yet anyway,” Perry says turning away. He calls back, “On my desk, tomorrow at five.” Clark’s too nervous to remember he doesn’t know which desk is Perry’s. He supposes he’ll just have to work it out when he comes to it.

As he goes to open the file, he notices a face watching him over the cubicle divider. A fellow intern, with long black hair and pale blue eyes that make her features seem sharper. Colder. Like she could open her mouth and freeze him to the core.

“Um, hi?” he starts, “We haven’t met, I’m Clark-”

She cuts him off. “A newbie.”

He doesn’t know what to say to that. She’s not wrong or particularly rude. Just matter-of-fact in a way his southern hospitality hadn’t prepared him for. 

“Yes, a newbie-” He replies with a grin. She cuts him off again by picking up the file from Perry and flipping it open. 

“What are you doing?” Clark questions, hoping he’s not going to end up in a fist fight with a fellow intern for this story. 

“Just checking this out, don’t worry,” she mumbles preoccupied scanning through the loose sheets, “I’m making sure the big dogs aren’t screwing me over.”

She looks up at him and her face briefly contorts into a smile - not a warm one, a happy one. A cold, practiced greeting to show no harm done, a I don’t mean to be a weirdo going through your files I’m actually a rational and normal person kind of smile. “But Perry’s right, this is a bludge.”

“Okay?” Clark replies, honestly confused by the whole interaction more than anything, “Well, it was nice meeting you Ms…”

“Lane,” she answers him, “Lois Lane, the top intern. That’s not an official term, but it’s the truth.”

He offers her a smile and a nod before turning his attention back to the file that has once again been dropped on his desk. It’s only two loose sheets, almost no info and a basic piece. But at least it’s him who’ll be writing it. One step at a time.

(When it’s printed in the lower corner of page twelve two days later, he cuts it out and sends it back home to Kansas. Ma and Pa are deliriously proud and request copies of all future articles. He doesn’t find out until Christmas that they’ve turned one of their walls into a display for his published pieces.)

Three weeks after his first article, a new intern moves into the cubicle next to him. (Ms Lane’s now one of the people bringing bludge stories and requests to his desk. She must have been right about being top intern). The new intern, Ms Lang, is a city girl. Born and raised in Metropolis. But she has a warmth that reminds him of home. Warm brown skin and wavy brown hair and warm brown eyes that seem to shine when she smiles.

He’s more than a bit enraptured. 

She leans over half way through her first day to talk to him. “So, how long have you been an intern here?”

He grins back and the office fluorescents suddenly shift to the warm summer sun reflected off the wheat fields. “Almost five months now.” 

“Huh, good to know,” she replies and he notices her nails are painted the same shade of pink as her dress. 

“Why’s that?” he asks before she can disappear back into her cubicle.

“Because on my tour round here I heard you were the new top intern. And I want to get there faster than you.” Then she’s gone, back to becoming the hardest working journalist of Metropolis.

It took Clark a moment to let her words sink in. He knew the Daily Planet requires journalists to show their replacements around. He cranes his head over the wall of his cubicle and catches sight of Ms Lane on the other side of the floor. She’s arguing with a colleague over something or other and doesn’t so much as glance at him. It’s kind of surprising that she thinks so highly of him. It’s also kind of the best.

It’s around this time he makes his first appearance as superman. He puts on the suit his father left him (the one Pa and Ma kept for him until he turned sixteen) and sets out to help people. It’s strange, giving in to the sounds and sights and smells he’s been blocking out all his life. He can hear the whole city buzzing beneath him as he floats above it, tuning in and out of conversations like a radio.

He decides to start small - he picks cats out of trees, clears trees off of roads and flies the dying to the hospital at super speed. An alien in primary colours zipping around the city catches the attention of the Daily Planet pretty quickly. He reads the article one of the reporters, Mr John Corben, writes on him and is happy to see it’s mostly good (wary, but still praising his actions).

Clark steps up his attempts at heroism - he now shows up to confront active shooters and floats above witnesses for particularly nasty cases. Praise starts getting thrown his way, with t-shirts and fan-blogs. They treat him like a celebrity.

Then his first supervillain arrives. He calls himself the Ultra-humanite and the papers obligingly print it in their headlands ‘Superman vs Ultra-humanite: Shocking Defeat for the Man of Steel’. The Ultra-humanite - Clark doesn’t even know his real name - isn’t like the regular street thugs and gun-wielding cowards. He can’t match Clark physically, so he does it mentally. He outsmarts Clark at every turn with automations and traps and a thousand other misdirections. 

The Ultra-humanite also introduces Clark to a new weakness: a small, almost fluorescent green rock he calls Kryptonite. It leaves him weak and dizzy. All the hyperawareness sinking away as the world dulls and blurs. He can safely say he doesn’t like it.

It dawns on him that he’ll need help. So he turns to the person he thinks he can trust. 

“Right,” Lana says slowly as he hovers in front of her, work shirt unbuttoned to show his famous emblem, “So you’re the superman with the superpowers who wants help taking down a supervillain. Super.” 

“You don’t have to be apart of the fighting or anything,” he assures her, “I just need a plan or something to get the upper hand on him.”

They’re on the roof of the Daily Planet. It’s the only place he could think of that wouldn’t have security cameras or be too suspicious to visit. Enough people still smoke to make it an acceptable break spot.

“You want me to outsmart a supervillain. Outsmart a supersmart evil genius supervillain.”

“Or help, just offer any insight,” Clark says, bringing himself back to the floor and doing up his shirt. That seems to calm Lana down, and she tilts her head slightly, gazing dazedly out at the horizon

It takes her a minute, but when she looks at him again he knows he made the right decision to come to her. “So he’s found ways to outsmart all your super powers.” Lana starts slowly, “Because he studied Superman.”

“I guess so,” Clark says.

“So,” Lana continues, “Use your abilities as Clark Kent. The ones he doesn’t know about. Track him down in his lair like a reporter - with paper trails and good old investigation.”

He does, tracks down all the stores that sell the fancy equipment the Ultra-humanite - a man, Clark learns through his investigation, who is called by the far-less threatening name of Gerard Shugel - and traces the sales back to accounts and addresses. 

He finds Shugel’s lair, crashing in dressed in full Superman regalia to see that very man tinkering on his next trap. It’s easy for Clark to apprehend him on his own turf. Just carrying him to the police station and leaving his address for them to search through. Clark was raised to believe that everything gets easier with practice, so he knows he’ll be ready for the next supervillain to threaten his city. And he knows he has someone to turn to when he gets out of his depth. 

 After a year of intern work, Clark finally gets a position as a full-blooded journalist. (Investigative, which is the same department as Ms. Lane. There are some whispers going around that two newbies handling a department is risky business, but those are shut down by an icy blue glare.)

They work side by side in matching offices, with Clark dibsing the police corruption case. (Which Ms. Lane thinks is undignified but lets him have it so she can keep working on her inquiring into the company practices of one of Metropolis’ largest businesses. Something called Lexcorp.)

Lana inherits the role of top intern, a placement which Clark confidently informs his replacement of. He knows it’s not long until she’s on the detective side of the office and looks forward to it.

He knows that the people are ready for him now. And more importantly, he’s ready for them.

[shushvera]

*toy story shark vc* howdy howdy howdy ! i would like to make it known i’ve been unabashedly eyeing this since it opened ! anyway ! i’ve lost my ooc intro groove so we gonna move down to my ic intro down below:

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, VERA FLOROS. you’ve been here for TWO MONTHS? awesome! you look just like MARINA DIAMANDIS, it’s crazy. oh, so you’re a 30 year old ‘FORTUNE TELLER’/’MUSICIAN’. and you’re FEMALE and use SHE/HER? okay, just checking! oh, people say you’re INTUITIVE & DILIGENT but DECEITFUL & RASH? well, i’m sure that you can prove yourself here. you’re looking forward to the HALLOWEEN celebration? that’s a good one, you’ll love it. i have to get going now, bye! [fleur, 19, est, she/her]

i would like to start by saying i’ve played vera once (1 time) before and it was,, so much fun,, the dumbest smart person to exist. i’ve tweaked her bg a little (because..... that’s what happens when you read lucille ball’s autobiography that was SUMN.....), but ! who cares !

update: this got rly long so there’s a tl;dr at the bottom if that better floats your boat !

INTRO-WORTHY STATS

aka, stats that aren’t that deep™

FULL NAME: Vera Floros DOB: August 17th, 1989 AGE: thirty FROM: Abergavenny, Wales OCCUPATION: “fortune teller” & a musician who doesn’t understand marketing ORIENTATION: bisexual CLASS: middle class ( that inheritance kicked in ! )

BACKGROUND: 

CHILDHOOD

triggers: parental death, brief mentions of child abuse

alright, vera was born to a very young couple in wales. they’d gotten married fresh out of high school and had a child (her) just two years later. that being said, for about two years after, her mother began distancing herself from the father... not because he was a bad guy, but he moved cities entirely and she was NOT about that.

to be perfectly redundant, for about two years, it was just vera and her mother. 

grandparents weren’t about their daughter being married. at 18. did they help pay rent for a separate living space? until vera’s mom was 21, yes. but was she welcomed in their house? lmao!!!!!

THEN her father blew back into town. they reconnected, they both began working more so that vera’s mother didn’t have to rely on her own (we’ll get to her dad’s parent’s in a second). 

vera, at the Tender Age of Three™ learned that she was a complete Daddy’s Girl™. although she loved her mom for obvious reasons, she connected with her dad on an entirely different level. he was fun! he was playful! he was young, but he was the perfect dad! he even told dad jokes! which she didn’t get until she was five because three year olds usually aren’t that smart! they did little ‘acrobatic’ things! it was cute and fun and good!

but? this is a roleplay character?

our man died from unexpected heart failure. the autopsy showed an abnormality that hadn’t previously been discovered, and we know our man rarely went to the doctor. vera was six at the time.

her mom: married at 18, mother at 20, widow at 26. 

because she and her mom had never developed that Close Bond™, it was difficult for her mother to figure out how to... like... keep her from wandering around... because just telling her not to wasn’t working... so she was like “you know what.... a leash.”

we love ‘puppy’ by george saunders

so whenever her mom was at work and vera wasn’t in school, she was tied to a tree in the backyard.

cruel and unusual punishment!

eventually, her mom kind of just... threw in the towel... she left completely for a change of pace. she said she would be back and that vera would be under the care of her father’s parents in athens until then.

her father’s parents had always been more accepting of the young marriage. they’d been more supportive of them being young parents, in spite of her father having left for a while. they’d definitely been supportive of vera and her mother during that time because they were like “omg mood”

there were a few other kids under their care, all related or not. they did some work for her father’s parents, but nothing very laborious – just sort of... Bonding™ ja feel?

so her mom DID keep her promise and returned three years later when vera was nine. mind you, vera had never held any feelings of resentment towards her mother. when she was six, she... just didn’t get it. at nine, she was old enough to be like “i get u.”

BUT her mother DID get remarried. she didn’t resent her for that, but... she was not fond of the new husband. he wouldn’t accept the ‘dad’ title, was very stern, very serious, made her mom seem like an absolute joy, etc. 

but her mom was in love, so what could she do? and then they had a son together, so what could she do? nothing.

that summer, to learn more Discipline™, vera was sent to live with her step-father’s parents in london. boy howdy, it was nothing like her father’s parents! they had a knack for pointing out flaws, induced actual laborious work, constantly quoted the bible at the worst of times, and thought that a single head nod was the equivalent of “good job!” there were a couple of other kids there too, but yikes.

TEENS ( *hang ten emoji* ) + COLLEGE

triggers: brief domestic abuse implications

early was filled with Drama™ surrounding her step-father’s parents and her step-father himself. the overall consensus was that he was not a dope dude, nor were his parents. vera’s mother filed for divorce and gained sole custody of their son (keeping in mind.... she basically already had sole custody of vera.... considering she was her only legal guardian left lmao)

after the divorce was filed, vera’s mother was like “u kno what. my parents hate me. my first husband is dead. my second husband was a douche. i have no reason to be here anymore.” so they went to the land of golden opportunity

but wound up in america instead

(joke patented by dr. doofenshmirtz)

vera, around sixteen at the time (y’all i’m figuring out ages as i go along bear with me), now attended some strange high-school where they were like “fahrenheit.” 

by the way! it was in holiday! that’s important to note for possible future connections!

it wasn’t an unwelcome change, though. starting over... was nice...

but the problem was that she was like her father in that she always acted before she thought... which made her a very dumb smart person. 

alright get ready for the single idea that drove this entire thing:

she majored in philosophy then was *pikachu shocked face* when she realized there were no jobs out there for philosophy majors.

ADULTHOOD

alright... so what do you do when you have no good opportunities for things in your major?

you would think you would do something like... idk... find a well-paying job that doesn’t require a major?

or maybe a job that just requires experience in ___?

or maybe a job that just requires a bachelor’s degree of any sort?

or maybe a job that doesn’t require a major, but would like a major similar to yours, thus giving you a leg up?

etc.?

lmao no. you go to new orleans and become one of many phony fortune tellers using the one good thing you got from your weird upbringing: easy analysis of body language.

in addition, you try to make something of your life through music, but have no clue what ‘marketing’ is because you really don’t understand social media and probably still have the egg as your twitter profile picture.

what do you mean print is out of style?

what do you mean no one listens to CDs anymore?

what do you mean garageband isn’t acceptable to record on?

that being said, it’s not like... she wasn’t good at it... i mean she was v good at it... but musician is in quotes because she has made NOTHING of her LIFE with it. DOES NOT UNDERSTAND MARKETING.

*sonic kid vc* WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN? *end vc*

she got some decent pay from being a ‘fortune teller,’ though. tourists totally flocked and using a fake russian accent helped, as did... just speaking a language they didn’t know while pretending to contact spirits...

at least she’s a good scam artist

can’t market very well, but could probs create the next big ponzi scheme

returned to holiday when she heard news from her brother that her mother had fallen ill.

honestly rest in peace.

is still around because... that’s her home! sentiment! also rip!

also marketing isn’t as hard in holiday so???

also testing fortune telling out in holiday is more interesting so???

DOPE.

PERSONALITY

either really dumb for a smart person or really smart for a dumb person.

still has a childlike trait tbh. i mean when ur growing up just laying beneath child labor laws, ur gonna have to become a kid again eventually.

really bad at technology for reasons unknown to... everyone, but really good at scams.

has not thought before she acted even ONCE.

hasn’t used her degree since she was 22. the closest she’s come is buying some misc. philosophy books and sharing tidbits with strangers. 

“now this is a taoist anthem” - vera @ ‘soak up the sun’ by sheryl crow

so many ragrets.

will find a way to bring up she’s half greek in every conversation. 

“and i’ve had mental illness since i was in middle school. good night.” - that video someone edited of professor tox

im so bad at personality sections but she’s got a fun one y’all one of the few characters i’ve played who’s had a Sad Backstory™ but wound up being a Fun And Comedic Character™

TL;DR

that was my first time ever writing this whole thing out, so it got real long. so we gonna give a tl;dr:

triggers: v brief mentions of parental death, brief mentions of child abuse, v brief implication of domestic abuse

born to a v young couple in wales. dad was like “brb” then he did, indeed, come rb. loved dad. but dad died when she was six lmao get wreckt this is a roleplay character.

mom was like “idk what 2 do” so she took notes from george saunders’s ‘puppy’ and just tied vera to a tree when she was gone adjsflka. went away for a while and vera stayed with her dad’s parent’s in greece. came back three years later and reunitedanditfeelssogood.mp3.

got married tho and vera was like “i don’t like this guy” and mom was like “i’m having his child.” lived with his parents over the next few summers. they almost violate child labor laws. like. just a hair more. hare? became source of any self-hatred lmao get wreckt

vera’s mom and step-dad divorced bc he was horrible and they moved to holiday when she was sixteen. she left for college when she was eighteen. she decided to major in philosophy which was a bad idea and the source of her entire character. 

decided to become a phony fortune teller in new orleans instead of... idk... just getting a job that didn’t require a degree or sumn? pretty successful tho! talked in a fake russian accent around tourists bc? why not? 

also did/does music but has no idea how marketing works. bad at social media. records things on garageband. an overall fool. good but a fool.

back in holiday bc mom died lmao get wreckt we’re an orphan now boizzzz

Sad But Rad™

WANTED CONNECTIONS

it’s 2:38AM as i write this part and i still have to go back and include a stats thing bc i love those then post ic but i’ll update this w/ some when im done i suppose?? but we do love brainstorming in this house!!

like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

[moccahobi]

Crashes and Naps Pt. 1 [Hoseok x Reader]

Summery: You’re a college student who works as an EMT in your free time, but when you pick up a mysterious hybrid without an owner, your free time seems to change.

Part 1 >> Part 2

Let me know if you want to be tagged when the next one comes out!

You sighed and rolled over on the on-call room couch. The couch was worn down and stained from decades of it being used but none the less sleep washed over you like waves, a dream of your spring break entertaining your barely-awake mind. There were no large plans for your break but it was the light at the end of your very dark premed school tunnel. You had this last twelve hour shift before you were going home to your tiny apartment and only leaving for groceries and your job, three anime series and a k-drama already calling to you on your computer. Spring break was going to be amazing. The sound of the ambulance alarm yanked you out of your dreaming, sleep already leaving your mind from nearly 3 years of  EMT service as you jumped to go to the departure dock, already shrugging on your gear and running towards where you were needed. 

As soon as you were there, you hopped into the back and sat down with Hyuik, the paramedic you were assigned to assist since the beginning of last semester. 

“What’s the call for?” You asked, your breathing labored and the ambulance springing into action once the other two EMTs got into the front seats.

“A hybrid was hit by a car.” Hyuik said, his knee bouncing quickly as the ambulance sped towards elsewhere in the city, “The caller said he was unconscious.” 

“I just hope that they weren’t pressured to go in front of that car because their owner, if they have an owner that is. Mina said that she had to help a hybrid who had that happen to them last week.” You sighed and shook your head. The rest of the ride towards the accident site silent as you and Hiyuk sat in silence, your mind flashing to the worst case scenarios around what could possibly have happened before calming down and focusing at the task at hand.

Once the ambulance arrived at the accident site, everything happened in a flash.

One second you and Hiyuk were bursting through the back doors.

The shotgun and driver EMTs came to load the unconscious man onto a stretcher.

You looked to see if anyone was the hybrid’s owner. 

No one was when you asked. The man who called you not wanting to have any other affiliation with the hybrid. 

You quickly jumped in and closed the doors as the ambulance sped off. The g-force almost enough to make you not focus on taking the man’s vitals. Hiyuk had long since gotten used to the g-force of a speeding ambulance and calmly sat next to the man as he treated the worst injury.

“John Doe is in a stable condition but te definitely isn’t a common hybrid. Is there a hybrid specialist in the ER today?” You asked after once you logged all the stats you could. You were looking at his tiny bead like ears that were hidden in the man’s matted hair.

“No.” 

Soon enough, you’d made it back to the hospital and the driver and shotgun EMTs were coming around to roll the man to the ICU quickly. 

You were speeding after them.

Doctors and nurses ran towards you four to work with him as you listed off all the information you’d gotten from your examinations before handing the sheet you wrote it all down on to one of the nurses who was listening to you. 

Soon enough your job with nurses and doctors was done and you went back to the ambulance to clean off everything in the back. It generally took you an hour or two to finish sterilizing everything and by then you knew that if there wasn’t another call, you’d want to check up on the hybrid you saved. It was something you did any time you worked with patients sure but there was something about the man you saved that made you want to go and be positive that he was ok.

Luckily, you didn’t have another call after you finished cleaning the ambulance and after talking with one of the nurses who was working with him you quickly walked towards the hybrid’s room. Once you were in front of his room though, you saw two nurses talking outside his door. 

That was almost never a good sign. 

From what’d you’d gathered in med school, it often meant that they wanted to talk about the patient with each other without him knowing.

Was he in worse condition than Hyuik and you originally thought? 

Had someone come forwards as his owner and they suspect abuse?

Does he have to go somewhere else to get proper treatment?

Did he have to go to some center after this?

“He’s not registered.” One nurse whispered, a deep set frown etched on her face, her wrinkles dragging her frown closer to her chin. 

“We’ll need to send him to the nearest adoption center, then.” The other nodded, looking at her clipboard before looking her superior in the face and nodding once again.

Their words struck a chord in you as you felt your heart sink. Unregistered hybrids were notoriously mistreated in adoption centers or sold into some hybrid trafficking ring due to them having no legal presence whatsoever. The nearest center was worse from what you’d heard. It seemed to have a record of shamelessly selling hybrids to the highest bidder and abusing even registered hybrids.  

You sighed, you knew that this would be stupid to propose but... “Excuse me, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop on your all’s conversation, but I was the EMT who worked on him in the ambulance, and if he’s unregistered, I’d be happy to… to adopt him.” You cringed at the thought of your bank account as you said those words, but your gut was telling you that it was the right thing to do. No hybrid- no human- should be mistreated. 

Ever.

The nurses looked at you with shock written all over their faces, “A-are you sure? I know you must not want to see him get hurt, but it’s a big commitment to take in a hybrid. They’re basically a roommate that doesn’t pay rent or for food, and they require a lot of attention.” The nurse covered in wrinkles asked, worry written all over her face as she mumbled something about the twelve hour shifts and one hundred hour shifts that students had to take hurting my mental health.

“Unless they have a job, but he’s unregistered so he won’t have one.” The other added, shaking her head and smiling lightly at the older nurse.

You nodded, “So I’ve heard, but… I can’t let him just go to the nearest adoption center..” A conviction you didn’t remember having resounding in your voice.

“If you’re so sure.” 

Before you could process the situation, you had shelled out almost all of your savings for the hybrid and was sitting next to his hospital bed, praying that you weren’t called out to the ambulance again. 

Sadly, while he was still unconscious you were called away to help someone else. It was only after three more calls and the end of your on call shift eight hours later you were finally able to visit your new hybrid again. You could only imagine how scared he was now since you hadn’t once gone to see him while he was conscious since you’d adopted him.He was awake by that point and seemed to look extremely scared by the time you had entered as you had feared. 

“Hey, I’m Y/N.” You tried to speak softly, your hand out in front of you as you slowly inched towards the man, “I’ll be your new owner. I’m sorry for coming late. I helped you in the ambulance but shortly after I finished the papers I was called back out.” 

“I don’t need an owner.” He hissed, sitting up and looking as if he was ready to attack. You were shocked by the change in his demeanor but tried to keep getting closer, if only so that he could smell that you meant no harm.

“I was fine on my own.” He hissed and slapped your hand away when you moved to sit in the chair near him.

“Ok, I understand that.” You tried to remain calm, but somewhere deep inside, you were hurt by him not wanting to sniff your hand or have you as his owner, “Just at least let me take care of you until you’re fully healed, ok?”

He hesitated and you took that as your que to continue talking, “I’ve registered you as mine and have pulled an insurance out for you, so once you’re back out- if you want to go back out- you can be a little safer.” 

You tried again, “I don’t want you to have to go to some adoption center here as well. They’re not safe places.”

“I know that. Why the fuck do you think I was living on the streets.” He asked, his voice harsh with anger. Although you’d grown to imagine his aggression as a front to scare you away. As if that would work.

“I honestly didn’t want to assume anything. That’s why I put some generic came on the registration and insurance forms and hope to change them as I know your real one.” 

His eyebrows rose, “You want me to pick a name?”

“I want to use the name that you go by.” You clarified, “Someone your age must have a name they like by now- especially since you lived on the streets.” 

His eyes widened as he fell back onto his back, “No human has ever asked for my name. I-It’s Hoseok.” 

You nodded lightly, a tiny amount of anger nestling in your gut. Why would people think that he didn’t deserve to use the name he goes by with his friends and family? He’s not a baby! It’s not like he wouldn’t have been using something with his friends while on the street! 

You took a deep breath before speaking, “Listen Hoseok-ah, I am happy with you leaving my home once you recover, but please… just stay with me until you have recovered. I hate the idea of you having to live out on the streets while hurt. So please, humor me until you’re completely healed.” You didn’t want to move at all.

You didn’t even look him in the eyes as you tried to convince him to stay with you. You’d thought back to your class on the subtle languages of animals and knew that it should translate here. You sighed and looked at the ground before looking slightly at Hoseok.

You heard shuffling, “Fine, but if you try to pull anything on me, I will attack and leave. Got it?”

You nodded, immediately feeling relief, “Is there anything I can get in preparation for you staying with me? Clothes, food, other supplies? You have to stay here for another five hours and I want my home to be prepared for your arrival.”

Soon enough you had a large list of things Hoseok wanted and finished preparing (which was harder than you’d originally thought it would be) you went back to the hospital to check on Hoseok and maybe get to know the hybrid better (you’d found out while filling out the registration forms that he was in fact an otter hybrid). You wanted to get to know him better before bringing him home so he could be as comfortable with you as he could be when he was finally discharged. Although as you got closer, you heard people talking and laughing in Hoseok’s hospital room and by the time you’d made it to his opened door you saw Hoseok laying back and laughing with a large group of other hybrids. His smile, his laughter, and his happiness in that moment made you smile yourself. 

How could you interrupt something as sweet as him spending time with his friends?

Simple answer: You couldn’t. 

You smiled lightly at him (not that he noticed, he was too busy laughing as some of his friends goofed off) before you turned around and went to take a nap in one of the unused on call rooms. 

You could always use the next two hours to get a little more sleep.

[crystalelemental]

Can you explain to us non-FF players what was so awful about Fates?

FE.  Very different trainwrecks.

And...probably?  I had a TON of posts about the problems in the game, but I can try to do an abridged version here.  Or at least, I’ll make an attempt.

Starting with the obvious, they took one game and split it into three, then charged us for three separate games.  It was complete horseshit from second 1.

Face-rubbing minigame.  You know Pokemon Amie?  Imagine doing that with humans.  That’s the waifu simulator they put in this game.

The creators of the game went on record early on saying that, yeah, Awakening saved the entire franchise from death with its simple but impactful storyline, but it was kinda too simple so we’re gonna make it better.  They then proceeded to make the shittiest plot I’ve ever been involved with, filled with nothing but contrivances to make anything make sense.

Characters sucked.  There are like 5 good ones, and at least three are debatable depending on who you ask.  The problem with infinite supports is that no character ever changes, so whenever one character would support, say, Oboro (the worst example of this), they’d reach A rank and she’d move on from her blatant racism, only to be right back to racist central for the next character’s C-support.  As such, no one ever grew as a character, and no one was particularly compelling, especially because both sides in the war were idiots.

Speaking of idiots, the reason for the war?  Invisible soldiers from an ancient dragon god attacked people on both sides of the border.  Rather than investigate, they both immediately accused the other and went to war.  The reason no one pointed out the soldiers or dragon god?  If you talked about them, you’d be magically transported to the dragon god’s kingdom and mind controlled into working for him!  Yeah, pure contrivance, because otherwise your entire plot would be resolved in literally two seconds as someone mentioned what was going on.

THE BABY REALM.  So, in Awakening, you could get married and have kids.  They wanted to do that mechanic again.  But Awakening had time travel, so it made sense.  Here?  Instead, they had a baby, and you throw them into an inter-dimensional rift, where they will immediately be spit out at combat-ready age.  I think like two of the kids briefly mention being sad their parents weren’t around.  Otherwise, somehow no abandonment issues at all.  Leo is a fucking asshole, though.  Forrest deserved better.

Speaking of the kids, fuck the kids.  Again, there’s like 5 that were good, and at least 3 are debateable.  But I think we can all agree that Kanna is a horrible little gremlin we should’ve kept locked away in another dimension.  FUCK YOU, YOU’LL NEVER BE MORGAN

On the topic of shipping, the main ship?  Corrin and Azura?  Yeah, you’re cousins.  So after all the debate about the main families being incest, but they totally aren’t because you’re adopted and not related to either of them, the main couple of the game that I think the game itself actively pushes, is incestuous.  Fucking great job, team.

I could bitch about the difference in female costume design between this game and the rest of the series all goddamned day so let’s just say “Camilla is just there for fanservice” and call it a day.

The final boss is literally the stone mask from JoJo and yet the game is somehow still lame.

Speaking of the final boss.  That dragon god?  We never learn his motivation.  Or rather, we do, but only in the DLC.  So after paying over $80 for this shit game they sold to you three times?  You have to pay even more to get the DLC that fucking explains anything.

Weapons came with penalties now.  So strong weapons had severe drawbacks that made them less useful, and instead forging was the way to go.  How do you forge?  By buying like 50 copies of the same weapon, and farming endlessly for arbitrary resources through other players’ My Castles (I’ll bitch about that in a minute), then spending a shitload of gold in the forge to give it slightly better stats.  Hope you like farming!

Christ, the My Castle thing...  You know what Fire Emblem really needed?  Instead of steady progression through a story, it needed to grind to a fucking halt as you farmed out all your arbitrary resources that are now required, and get all your skills through this method alone.  Most of your game won’t even be the main story, it’ll be My Castle, the fucking shitshow nightmare they added into this series for no goddamned reason.

“We finally put in gay characters!” the series said, giving you version exclusive options of (1) the reincarnation of a stalker who abused her daughter mentally and physically, or (2) a gay man whose only defined personality traits are “sadistic” and “makes a lot of uncomfortable sex jokes.”  Fucking top-tier representation.  Shame you didn’t pick sensible options, like...I dunno, Soleil?  The obvious bi girl?  But no, Tharja 2.0, that’s fine.

But on top of that?  On top of all that?  Pick your poison from the following:

The english translation was so unbelievably bad, that most characters spoke in decades-old memes, and entire support conversations were outright removed for funny ninja moments like no spoken dialogue because ninjas don’t talk.  But at least they removed the incredibly creepy face-rubbing minigame that you just know someone was jerking it to.

OR you keep the Japanese version, where one support conversation is literally your main character drugging a girl who thinks other girls are cute, without her consent, to make her see men as other women and vice versa, basically so you can fuck and marry her, in what’s basically a point-for-point re-enactment of conversion therapy.  And that’s just one of the incredibly horrific things the Japanese version had in it.  There was an entire SITE listing the problems people had with how it portrayed things.

And that’s just what I remember off the top of my head.  I know for a fact there’s more.  But imagine going from “Oh man, a new entry into this, my favorite series” to getting all of this information, bit by bit, over months, and trying to convince yourself that it’ll be okay and you should still get it.  Then you get it, and it’s somehow WORSE.  That’s what the experience of Fates was like.  Constant horror and disappointment, followed by an attempt to compromise that backfired spectacularly and resulted in, bar none, the worst game I’ve ever played, with absolutely nothing gained.  I am a lesser person for having played Fates.

[your-dietician]

FINAL: Riverhounds SC 1, Charlotte Independence 0

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/soccer/final-riverhounds-sc-1-charlotte-independence-0/

FINAL: Riverhounds SC 1, Charlotte Independence 0

USL Championship – Atlantic Division

FINAL: Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC 1, Charlotte Independence 0

Match Stats 

Match Summary & Takeaways  

For the first time in club history, the Riverhounds beat the Charlotte Independence, 1-0, as Anthony Velarde’s goal off a nifty assist from Albert Dikwa at the end of the first half was the difference.

With the win, the Hounds improved its record to 6-4-1 to remain in second place, and in close range of the Atlantic Division’s front-running Tampa Bay Rowdies.

“We had a fair bit of the ball tonight,” Head Coach Bob Lilley stated. “We forced them into a long ball game. Charlotte is usually good at possessing but tonight we weren’t chasing guys. We were so fixated on what happened last game. We dictated the play and never sat back.”

HOW IT HAPPENED 

The Hounds were in complete control of the match from the beginning.

How dominant were they?

In the first half, Charlotte didn’t see the net once. Not a single shot on goal or shot attempt.

After 20 minutes, and several chances for the Hounds, it seemed as if it was only a matter of time for someone to score.

Velarde, after being the captain last game at Loudoun, ended up being the man to do it.

“I’ve been here for three years now,” Velarde said. “I’m proud to wear the captain’s band when Bob wants me to. I thought we moved the ball well from right to left tonight. (Kenny) Forbes was able to set Dikwa up well. It was a good team goal for us.”

Velarde has started the past two games and has produced in both.

“I just want to build momentum and help the team. Score and defend. That’s the mentality for a lot of us. We knew it was tough to beat Charlotte, but we came in so aggressive to be successful tonight.”

Riverhounds SC midfielder Anthony Velarde evades Charlotte Independence defenders with the ball at his feet (Photo by Ed Thompson)

Coach Lilley even mentioned in the press conference the work that Albert Dikwa did on both sides of the ball.  Not only did he get the game winning assist, but his pressure was a nightmare for the Charlotte backline all game.

In the second half, however, Pittsburgh wasn’t able to completely put away the opposition.

“I was getting very frustrated on the sideline that we weren’t scoring enough. At least we were getting chances but we need more goals to win games. Just more clinical and we can find more space to have open shots.”

Pittsburgh has only been able to produce two goals or more four times.

In order to put away teams, more than one goal is usually needed.

The game ended with Pittsburgh at 16 shots and nine on goal, compared to the Independence’s 6 shots and only one on target.

The one opportunity they had was a chip from Irvin Parra over the hands of Danny Vitiello. Fortunately, Shane Wiedt was able to save the day on the goal line, heading the ball out of bounds. But, these are the games when a team can completely outplay another, but still go away with a tie or even a loss.

Riverhounds defender Shane Wiedt (left) and goalkeeper Danny Vitiello (center) have their eyes on a ball heading into the goal area. Wiedt would clear the ball away to prevent a Charlotte goal. (Photo by Ed Thompson)

Under Lilley and Dan Visser, the Hounds seems to finally be finding a rotation, and subbing on players they can trust to play good consistently.

The past two games, the French winger Louis Perez earn start for the squad, picking up his first professional goal last game at Loudoun.

“I wish we realized sooner he could really help us,” Lilley boasted. “His contributions the past few games have been good. He’s kept his fitness up. He’s solid on possession and tight on the ball. He’s an option going forward.”

Riverhounds SC midfielder/forward Louis Perez (Photo by Ed Thompson)

It’ll be interesting to see if the same goes for Josh Gatt and Ezra Armstrong. Maybe their time will come soon.

More importantly, Pittsburgh stays in second place in the Atlantic Division, now with 20 points. But, Hartford Athletic, Charleston Battery and The Miami FC still sit close behind them with games in hand.

A win at home was vital, as it’s important for any team to establish earning results in their home stadium.

Lilley summed up, stating, “Look, the game ended 1-0, but there was more goals in it for us. We’ll take the three points and we deserved to win. Hopefully we can build on this and get a result down in Charleston.”

Ed Thompson Photo Gallery 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Final numbers from a big three-point night.#UNLEASH #PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/QlQSelx7gL

— Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC (@RiverhoundsSC) July 4, 2021

  Highlights

Gameday Updates 

FINAL – The Riverhounds finally beat the Charlotte Independence on Independence weekend, 1-0. Now they’re 1-7-5 all-time vs Charlotte. Velarde was the lone goal scorer. Second home win for the Hounds on the season.

90′ – Marcelo Palomino who was subbed on 12 minutes ago gets a yellow card. 3 minutes of stoppage time added.

86′ – Tresor Mbuyu and Noah Paravicini are now on for Charlotte. Irvin Parra and Kevin Riascos come out. Hounds still lead 1-0.

83′ – Dikwa dives out with his chest to make a pass to Forbes. Forbes then plays in Cicerone who gets a shot on net but Miller is there again.

Jalen Robinson now on for Alex Dixon.

80′ – Dani Rovira awarded a yellow card now. He strongly disagrees with the call.

78′ – Valentin Sabella comes on for Clay Dimick.

76′ – SHANE WIEDT SAVES THE LEAD!! Vitiello was chipped by Irvin Parra, the goal scorer from the last time these two teams met. Wiedt sprinted back to the goal line and headed the ball out of bounds.

73′ – Noticing Todd Wharton playing more defensive now back on the right side. He can play practically anywhere and that’s why Bob Lilley trusts him so much. Wharton, a veteran is one of the few on this team that have played over 100 USL games.

68′ – Riverhounds make a few subs. Russell Cicerone in for Anthony Velarde and Dani Rovira on for Louis Perez.

66′ – Hugh Roberts with a header off a corner kick gives the Independence their best chance all game. Still don’t have a shot on goal all game but Hounds can’t let them break through now.

61′ – In trying to tie the game, the Independence have changed to a 3-5-2 formation.

.@RiverhoundsSC is putting on an absolute clinic right now in how to control a game. Currently outshooting a good Independence side 14-0, and the only reason it’s still 1-0 with an hour gone is because @DVOtwosix is pulling off save after save.#PITvCLT #UNLEASH

— Nicholas Murray (@NJEMurray) July 4, 2021

56′ – Dikwa with a header on net, yet again Miller makes a tremendous save. He’s been Charlotte’s best player, keeping this a one goal game.

53′ – Brandt Bronico fouls Forbes. Free kick opportunity from about 25 out is taken by Louis Perez but another spectacular save from Miller.

50′ – Dixon with two shots on net in the half so far, both saved by Miller. About 3,300 fans in the stadium tonight I’ve been told.

45′ – Second half begins. Hugh Roberts now down injured. Looks like the away team thinks Dikwa elbowed him.

0s on the left side is what we like to see.#UNLEASH #PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/vUnUhyNez6

— Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC (@RiverhoundsSC) July 4, 2021

Half – Riverhounds certainly dominating in play tonight. The Independence don’t even have a shot on goal yet. Hounds have 9 corner kicks and 16 crosses with 66% possession. Could be a 2-0 game for sure.

A classy touch from Albert Dikwa puts the hounds out front. 🌊🐶#PITvCLT | @RiverhoundsSC pic.twitter.com/9qCxaM5hL3

— USL Championship (@USLChampionship) July 4, 2021

45+’ – VELARDE GOAL!! A beautiful cryuff type pass from Dikwa sets up Velarde inside the box. Velarde’s second goal and Dikwa’s second assist on the season. 1-0 Riverhounds at the half.

49′ Independence Substitution:

IN: #35 Blake Pope OUT: #14 Thomas de Villardi#PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/qHTbYWIGAp

— Charlotte Independence (@Independence) July 3, 2021

45′ – 3 minutes of stoppage time added. Thomas de Villardi of Charlotte is injured and walks off the field.

40′ – All Riverhounds right now!! Just can’t get it in! Wharton down the end line sets up Forbes but saved by a defender.

37′ – Todd Wharton issued a yellow card now.

35′ – Velarde with another shot on goal but straight at the keeper. The look on his face shows he knows he can make that shot.

32′ – Great build up play from Griffin and Velarde. Hounds just can’t get one of these in but are getting close.

29′ – Wiedt gets a header off a corner kick cross but doesn’t get all of it. Save for Miller. Miller has 4 SO’s which is second most in the league.

26′ – Louis Perez gets a great chance outside the box but pikes it way over the net. Field goal is good. He used his weak foot instead of his strong foot there.

21′ – I don’t think Danny Griffin has missed a pass yet. He shows great fitness out there, never tired. Hounds look like the slightly better team so far.

16′ – Kevin Riascos on Charlotte gets a yellow card for a foul on Velarde.

14′ – Dikwa trying the bicycle kick for the second time in a row. This time he’s pushed down by the defense in mid air. Fans wanted a PK to be called.

12′ – Shane Wiedt looks so solid centering the back line. He’s been their best defender all season. He has enough technical skill too, where he could play CDM as well.

5′ – Louis Perez looks very confident on the ball already early on. Is this a player that the Hounds could use out on the wing every game? I think it’s a possibility. Will be interesting to see throughout the season if Bob Lilley keeps starting him.

2′ – Hounds give up a dangerous free kick early. Danny Griffin heads it away. Dixon then almost sets up Velarde and goes out for a corner kick.

1′ – Game begins. Velarde and Perez getting another start. Cicerone starting as a sub, but I bet he gets in the second half at some point.

According to the USL Championship website, the Riverhounds are lining up in a 3-5-1-1 and the Independence are out in a 4-4-2.

Out tonight with @JSmith_1187 and @pghsoccernow at @highmarkstadium for @RiverhoundsSC v. @Independence. @SteelArmy is in the house tonight in full force. Weather is perfect. Should be a great matchup. @AHNtoday#UNLEASH #PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/b0XBGZ3uxA

— Ed Thompson (@ThompsonFoto12) July 3, 2021

Starting XI in the Steel City. 👊 🔵 #WeAreCLT #PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/xpWKrBuJ9D

— Charlotte Independence (@Independence) July 3, 2021

Here is how we lineup tonight vs. @Independence on #4thofJulyWeekend! #UNLEASH #PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/eBMnoSwEvm

— Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC (@RiverhoundsSC) July 3, 2021

Pregame vibes 📈#UNLEASH #PITvCLT pic.twitter.com/bdixD3K4bi

— Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC (@RiverhoundsSC) July 3, 2021

Look for lineups to be posted here along with game updates from Highmark Stadium.

PSN’s Mark Goodman’s preview is up…

Preview: Charlotte on the Mon, Maybe for the Last Time

Preview

Will this continue to be a week of firsts?

The Hounds would now like that to be the case as they’ve never defeated the Independence, a nemesis since they’ve been competing in the USL Championship since 2015.

The Independence (5-4-0) come to Highmark having never lost to the Hounds (5-4-2), with seven wins and five draws in 12 all-time matchups. That includes a meeting May 22 in the Hounds’ home opener, when a first-half goal by Irvin Parra was all the scoring Charlotte needed to escape with a 1-0 win.

Since that early loss, the Hounds have steadied themselves with a 5-2-1 mark, but nothing can be taken for granted in a matchup where the winner will hold sole possession of second place in the Atlantic Division.

In that 2-1 defeat Wednesday at Loudoun United FC, the Hounds did get a spark from Louis Pérez, the first-year pro who scored his first goal in his second start for the club. While it’s likely the lineup will be shuffled again, the Hounds are limited on the back line with Jelani Peters still away on international duty and Jordan Dover still being listed as questionable after missing the past two matches.

Charlotte, which was beaten 2-1 by Miami in their last match, is a different team on the attack than when they last came to Pittsburgh, having added longtime USL goalscorer Dane Kelly. Since joining the Independence, Kelly has four goals in six matches.

Recent PSN Hounds Coverage 

Hounds Notebook: Independence Day tradition continues, sort of, and up close with Russell Cicerone

Hounds endure long night, first loss Loudoun United FC and an earful from coach Lilley

  Related

Jordan joined the Pittsburgh Soccer Now team in 2020 as a contributor to Riverhounds SC & WPIAL coverage. He is also a current Graduate Assistant at Point Park University in the athletics department, while also obtaining an MBA and MA in Media Communications. Jordan, during his undergrad four years at La Roche University, interned and worked part time for every pro team and several universities in Pittsburgh: Riverhounds SC, Pirates, University of Pittsburgh, La Roche University, Duquesne University, Steelers and the Penguins. With all of these experiences he began to gain a passion to work in sports as a career. Smith played cup soccer for Century United and Beadling during his youth years and also trained with the Riverhounds. He attended South Fayette High School where he helped his team win WPIAL’s and a section title his senior year in 2015, while earning All-Section and All-WPIAL honors.

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[dissertationprepsami]

Week 4 and 5

We looked at the Harvard way of referencing so we would know how to reference properly according to the uni in our dissertations. Harvard style referencing is an author/date method. Sources are cited within the body of your assignment by giving the name of the author(s) followed by the date of publication. All other details about the publication are given in the list of references or bibliography at the end.

Kat gave us an example to look at. 

Harvard referencing isn’t something I’ve done before so I thought I should do some research into it at home too as I know that there can be some bad consequences if you get it wrong.

I found a handbook that I think will come in helpful as it seems to break down exactly what you need to do for every type of reference. 

I also spoke to Kat about the research I had done into social media addiction but also decided I still wanted to carry on research into rehabilitation after prison as it is another thing that I would be interested in doing for my dissertation. Me and Kat spoke about the sort of things that I would need to look into in order to find out more about this process. There would be three categories of prisoners that I could look at for this; prisoners who have committed the crime as a necessity (provide for their family), prisoners who are mentally ill, and the wrongly accused. I want to look at the rehab programs that are offered to prisoners and the after care that they receive. Hopefully I will be able to interview some ex-prisoners or even some prison guards to gain some inside information that I may not be able to find from stats on the internet.  

I have a friend that went to prison for 9 months and was also on tag for a period of time, I thought I could ask him some questions about the sorts of things he was offered within the prison and what he had to do when he was still on tag.

There are different types of rehabilitation techniques that prisoners get;

Parole

A commonly used method in justice systems around the world as a way to help reintegrate offenders into society. During parole the offender is released before his or her sentence is completed in exchange for fulfilling certain conditions, such as gaining employment, refraining from drug and alcohol use, and refraining from contacting the parolee’s victims (if any). Parolees are also often required to regularly check in with a parole officer who ensures that the parolee is adhering to his or her conditions for release. By offering early release in exchange for good behavior, parole is meant to make the transition from incarceration to freedom easier.

Home detention curfew (HDC)/Tag

Some prisoners are released early subject to a curfew which requires them to be at home for between 9-12 hours per day, allowing them to live at home and to work during the final weeks of their sentence. They are given an electronic tag, a small device which is fitted to the ankle or wrist. The tag sends a regular signal to a monitoring centre which confirms the presence of the person in their place of curfew. If they are absent or try to tamper with the equipment the monitoring centre is alerted and the breach investigated. HDC lasts a minimum of 14 days and a maximum of 3 months for those serving less than 12 months, and a maximum of 4 and a half months for those serving 12 months to 4 years.

Treatment

Some crimes, particularly drug crimes, are the result of an individual’s own addiction problems. While incarceration was previously used as a “tough on crime” punishment against people convicted of drug crimes, legal experts are increasingly recognizing that incarceration does little to address the underlying causes of addiction. As a result, in many jurisdictions judges are given the discretion to sentence offenders to mandatory substance abuse programs in lieu of prison, particularly if it is the offender’s first offense. Such treatment programs are designed to help people overcome their addiction problems, thus allowing them to become fully functioning members of society.

The method that I am most interested in looking at is home detention curfew, I was particularly interested in this rehabilitation scheme as its the one that my friend was on, but also because this is the one that actually allows the prisoner to leave prison early, alongside parole, so it means that these are the prisoners who are most in need of being reintegrated back into normal life, it would be interesting to see if the process they go through actually helps them 

I started researching a bit into HDC, I wanted to find some key facts, I thought this would help me decide whether I wanted to choose this as what I do for my dissertation as I want to make sure that what I end up doing is something that I am really interested in, as I am going to have to do a lot of research into it and do a lot of reading about it. I also feel like if I was doing something that I am not that interested then it would show in my work. 

Any of the facts or statistics that I find may be useful if I do choose this topic so I wanted to make sure I had the links so I could refer back to it when I am writing the dissertation. 

General stats about re-offending

2000-2006

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/217378/effect-early-release-hdc-recidivism.pdf

https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/fa4e/b5f3ac8ee5084195c6b1266dd17dcce51015.pdf

https://www.expressandstar.com/news/uk-news/2018/06/22/prison-population-falls-after-rise-in-home-detention-curfew-cases/

- Ten per cent (6,643) of the HDC sample were recalled to prison while they were being electronically monitored.

-  The majority of the recalled offenders, 8%, were recalled for breaching the terms of their curfew while the remaining 2% were returned to prison for committing a further offence while on HDC.

-  Offenders whose current conviction was either burglary or robbery were twice as likely to be recalled compared to prisoners who had committed other types of offences.

-  Thirteen per cent of prisoners released on HDC had previously breached licence conditions. 23% of the offenders who were recalled from HDC had previous breaches compared to only 12% of those who were not recalled.

-  HDC released prisoners who were recalled had committed almost twice as many crimes in the past than those who were not returned to prison.

-  From July 2006 to March 2010, 7,292 people were released on HDC; 21% of them were recalled, which equates to an average of 34 people per month.

-  People on HDC are predominantly male, on shorter sentences (63% were serving sentences of 6 months to less than 2 years), and have a less serious offending profile compared to the overall prison population.

-  It costs £126 per week to keep someone on HDC, compared to a notional cost of £610 per week to keep them in prison.

-  Prisoners and staff strongly felt open prison made it easier for prisoners to transition to life back in their home communities.

-  Citing figures showing that only 21% of potentially eligible offenders were released under the scheme in 2016, the instruction emphasised that refusing HDC for prisoners who qualify should be the “exception”.

Alex Hewson, of the Prison Reform Trust, said: “The recent reduction in the prison population is welcome, and reflects a sensible and measured streamlining of existing guidance for home detention curfew.

Getting low risk individuals out of prison a few weeks early on a curfew gives them the opportunity to re-establish themselves in their local community, and has the additional benefit of providing some vital breathing room for a system under intense pressure.”

General facts in regards to homelessness and rates of re-offending

I want to look at how homelessness can effect the rates of re-offending too, seen as if released prisoners don’t have any accommodation because they can’t afford it, then its more likely that they will either re-offend just to stay alive by stealing food for themselves, or they may even re-offend on purpose because for them it may be easier to stay in prison where they get things like a bed and food, when outside they don’t. 

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/278806/homelessness-reoffending-prisoners.pdf

-  Fifteen percent of prisoners in the sample reported being homeless before custody. Three and a half percent of the general population reported having ever been homeless.

-  Nearly two in five prisoners (37%) stated that they would need help finding a place to live when they were released. Of these, 84% reported needing a lot of help.

-  Three-fifths (60%) of prisoners believed that having a place to live was important in stopping them from reoffending in the future.

- More than three-quarters of prisoners (79%) who reported being homeless before custody were reconvicted in the first year after release, compared with less than half (47%) of those who did not report being homeless before custody.

http://www.russellwebster.com/homelessness-and-re-offending/

-  It found that 15% of these prisoners reported being homeless before being sent to custody – compared to 3.5% of the general population who report EVER being homeless.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2019/aug/12/two-thirds-of-homeless-ex-prisoners-reoffend-within-a-year

-  27, 209 adult offenders released from custody were recorded as having settled accommodation, while 4,632 were recorded as homeless and 2,815 recorded as having “unsettled” accommodation.

-  Last August, concerns were raised over the number of ex-offenders likely to be sleeping rough after MoJ figures revealed that more than 100,000 prisoners left detention for unsettled or unknown accommodation over the previous three years.

I think its really important that I include statistics from the re-offences that occur purely from being homeless. Although its never right to commit a crime, its important to understand that in some circumstances these people may have no other option than to turn to crime in order to stay alive, and it could be through no fault of their own. 

[junker-town]

The 49ers built their offense around one idea: Everyone blocks

Photo by Michael Zagaris/San Francisco 49ers/Getty Images

We take a look at the ways the 49ers get EVERYONE involved in blocking to support their running game. Will the Chiefs be ready?

Only one team rushed for more yards than the San Francisco 49ers this season: the Baltimore Ravens, and that was with Lamar Jackson at quarterback.

San Francisco, using the three-headed rushing attack of Raheem Mostert, Matt Breida, and Tevin Coleman, consistently ran their opponents into the dirt en route to a 13-3 record and an upcoming Super Bowl trip against the Kansas City Chiefs.

During the regular season, the 49ers averaged 144.1 yards per game. Here’s how the 49ers’ top three backs fared on the stat sheet:

Mostert: 137 carries, 772 yards, 5.6 average, 8 touchdowns

Breida: 123 carries, 623 yards, 5.1 average, 1 touchdown

Coleman: 137 carries, 544 yards, 4.0 average, 6 touchdowns

The 49ers then amassed 471 rushing yards in playoff wins against the Vikings and Packers.

The running backs didn’t get there on their own, though. They got assistance from a stellar offensive line and some of the best lead blockers in the NFL. Tight end George Kittle and fullback Kyle Juszczyk are the two who make the biggest impact, but head coach Kyle Shanahan puts an emphasis on his receivers blocking, too.

The result has been impressive, with receivers like Emmanuel Sanders, Deebo Samuel, Kendrick Bourne, second-string tight end Ross Dwelley, and even quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo laying out punishing blocks this season.

Garoppolo only attempted eight passes in the 49ers’ 37-20 win over the Packers in the NFC Championship Game. Sanders and Bourne each saw only one pass thrown his way, while Samuel had three. None of the four were upset about their lack of stats in the game, however.

“I told myself, if I’m not going to get the ball, I might as well go out here and be a bully,” Sanders said after the game. “I kind of turned into a bully, I started to enjoy blocking.”

The 49ers have had plenty of “bully” moments this season, and they’ll be hoping to have more against the Chiefs in the Super Bowl. Kansas City has effectively stopped the run in the postseason so far, but the 49ers present a very tough challenge.

Here’s why.

What the 49ers did to the Packers is a perfect example of their “everyone blocks” attitude

The 49ers’ running game hit another level against the Packers. They ran the ball 42 times for 285 yards; Mostert alone had 29 carries for 220 yards and four touchdowns.

While that signifies a strong personal effort from Mostert, he had plenty of help. Let’s get into our first key block of that game, which features Samuel, Juszczyk, and Kittle all contributing.

Two extremely important blocks happened immediately: the first was Juszczyk getting right in there and blocking No. 55, Za’Darius Smith, one of Green Bay’s top run stuffers who almost certainly would have stopped Mostert for a loss. The other was Samuel following his defensive back, No. 23 Jaire Alexander, all the way around to eventually block him into the ground.

Mostert made the perfect cut and took the lane created by Kittle and right tackle Mike McGlinchey. Kittle was on No. 93, linebacker B.J. Goodson, who didn’t get any forward push AT ALL as Kittle blocked him into oblivion.

Our next big block came later in that same drive, courtesy of both Samuel and Dwelly.

Samuel ran the fake reverse to set this up — an important note because the 49ers use the rookie as their gadget-type player and he typically gets one decent reverse a game. Here, he ran the fake and collided with No. 26, Darnell Savage, hard enough to knock the Packers safety off balance. There was also Dwelley in the interior pile, stumbling out of it to block No. 31, Adrian Amos, the guy with the next-best chance to tackle Mostert.

That touchdown gave the 49ers a 17-0 lead in the game. Blocks from Kittle and Bourne would set up their next touchdown, also a run from Mostert:

At the start of this play, you’ll see Kittle had the edge on the top of the screen, where he sealed out Za’Darius Smith. The final 49ers player that Mostert ran past was Bourne, who pushed his man a good 6-7 yards off the snap. Bourne disengaged at JUST the last moment before a holding penalty might have been called, too.

That 18-yard touchdown put the 49ers up 27-0.

So far we’ve seen just about everyone get in on a block, but not much of Sanders. He helped seal off one of those Samuel reverses:

Sanders, No. 17, was working on No. 91, linebacker Preston Smith, who clearly saw that it was going to be a reverse. It wasn’t a huge, punishing block, but Sanders got in Smith’s way enough that he had no chance of stopping Samuel on the play. You can also see McGlinchey and center Ben Garland making blocks in the open field at the end.

But it’s how Shanahan used Juszczyk on this play that sticks out the most. Juszczyk ran my absolute favorite type of block: the wind-back block. Just like a misdirection run, Juszczyk started to the left to sell the fake, then flipped around to hit No. 38, Tramon Williams, in space.

No defensive back in the league can handle that, and Williams could only watch as Samuel broke free for 32 yards.

The 49ers have been doing this all year, in the regular season and playoffs

While the running game didn’t lead the way in every outing, they 49ers have been laying these kinds of blocks all season.

The wind-back block in particular is something the 49ers have used before to great effect. Let’s look at their Week 14 game against the Saints to show you another one.

Again, this was a Samuel reverse with a fake to the running back first. Instead of Juszczyk, this time it’s Kittle who ran the wind-back block. Kittle ran through his blocker, which gave Samuel the edge, freeing him for a big gain.

Notice Sanders and Bourne making blocks, too. Bourne was in the scrum in the middle, while Sanders went ahead to stall one of the linebackers. The 49ers’ 48-46 win was helped mightily by 162 yards on the ground and Kittle’s ability to absolutely run over guys.

We’ve looked at blocks with all of the key players except one: Garoppolo. If we go back to the Divisional Round, we can see a good one:

This was a more intricate play than the others because it looked like an option. After Garoppolo handed it to Juszczyk, he had the option to run it himself, pass it to Samuel, or dump it to Coleman.

You can tell it’s an option because when Garoppolo turned around, he wasn’t sure if he should be blocking to his right or his left. He saw it went to Samuel, and got out there in space to block Pro Bowl linebacker Anthony Barr all the way to the ground, allowing Samuel pick up a decent gain.

The 49ers’ running game finished with 186 yards and two touchdowns in the 27-10 victory over the Vikings.

The 49ers have the right blocking mentality. Can the Chiefs stop them?

Shanahan expects everyone to block, and the 49ers have a philosophy built around everyone contributing however they can. In practice, 49ers coaches are encouraged to call out receivers who don’t give 100 percent in their blocking.

“I think it’s just holding people accountable from the beginning,” Shanahan said. “Then you just set a standard as it is and every time you watch tape you point it out. Some people don’t point it out very much and don’t think you can get that out of wideouts, but that’s what we do from the first play that we’re with someone until the last play.”

They’ve created a culture where Kittle, one of the best receiving tight ends in the league, is always eager to block (remember the pancake block against the Falcons where he’s LAUGHING the entire time?). He’s easily the 49ers’ most important weapon in the receiving and blocking game, and he’s not worried about how he helps the team, either.

“Kittle, everyone knows what he’s done in the pass game, but he has never once in three years came up to me during a game and said ‘Hey I need this route or Hey we’ve got to do this,’” Shanahan said. “He’s never once came up to me about a pass play, but he comes up to me about every seven plays about what type of run play we need to do, who we need to allow him to hit, things like that. It makes it very fun to call plays for him.”

The 49ers will face a game opponent in the Chiefs, though.

The Chiefs allowed a lot of rushing yards this season — 128.2 per game, 26th in the league — and 4.9 yards per carry (fourth-worst). However, they’ve clamped down in the playoffs. First, they went up against Deshaun Watson, Carlos Hyde, and Duke Johnson in the Divisional Round, and held them to under 100 yards.

Much more impressive than that is how they handled Derrick Henry and the Titans in the AFC Championship Game. Henry went into that matchup having rushed for 195 yards against the Ravens in the Divisional Round, and 182 yards against the Patriots in the Wild Card Round. But the Chiefs stacked the box and held Henry to jut 69 yards on 19 carries.

Conquering the 49ers’ run blocking schemes requires more than stacking the box. The Chiefs will go into the Super Bowl knowing that everyone on the San Francisco offense is a threat to seal off a big run. While the 49ers’ running game is their most difficult task yet, the Chiefs have been clearing the rushing challenges ahead of them lately. Can they keep it up?

All we know for sure is that the 49ers will be ready — and willing — to deliver punishing blocks when it’s their turn to test Kansas City’s rush defense in the Super Bowl.

[eikotheblue]

Darkness and Silence (on Aphantasia)

(This is an effortpost about my experiences with my self-diagnosed Aphantasia. While I believe everything that I’m saying and the personal stories are all accurate, I’ve not been formally diagnosed, the condition is understudied, and introspection is hard. It’s also very long, especially past the readmore.)

For me, one of the most obvious and powerful ideas in LW-rationalism is the typical mind fallacy, or the (often mistaken) belief that other people’s internal experiences are similar to yours when presented with the same stimuli. Reading that sentence really doesn’t convey how big of a deal this is, but I don’t think more words from me can do really do it justice; consider instead reading this post and the comments for a small glimpse into how different brains and experiences can be. 

When I first read that post, the thing I thought of immediately was smell. I’ve never had a sense of smell that produces anything that looks like meaningful input, and until I was about 13 or so I just assumed that nobody could smell much of anything, or that I’d never been exposed to a strong scent. (Then I encountered Axe, and realized there was a stimuli that really was invisible to me). I could talk a lot about lack of smell, but not in this post, because while that was the first atypical mind characteristic I identified in myself, it is far less impactful than Aphantasia. 

Aphantasia is described as “a condition where one does not possess a functioning mind's eye and cannot visualize imagery”. This describes my life experiences very well: I cannot recall or construct mental imagery, even slightly. To demonstrate this, I usually ask people to close their eyes and imagine a square. (Feel free to do so now, and lock the image in your head if you wish). I then ask questions like “What color is the square?” “What color is the background?” “How big is it, relative to your field of view?”, and people generate answers based on the square they imagined. I am always fascinated by these responses; if you perform the experiment and reblog, I’d love to see (either in reblog text or tags) the details of your square.

There is no square in my head. If you ask me to imagine a square, I see no image, only the concept of a 4-sided regular polygon. If you then ask me “what color it is”, I can pick a color at random (or one of my favorites), but the true answer is “None”; there’s no square to have a color. My thoughts and memories exist only as text, with webs of association and observation attached. If I’m asked to remember what something looked like, all that I can retrieve is thoughts that describe the thing I’ve seen, or facts that I know about it, if any. 

Observant readers might notice that while the title of this post is “Darkness and Silence”, so far all that’s been discussed is the inability to visualize. Something that I hadn’t realized until very recently is that Aphantasia is more general than the name implies, at least for me (and others online by anecdote). I can’t directly recall any sensory input from memory, or create sensory input-like experiences ex nihilo. I can’t imagine or recall any sound, taste, touch, or even pain, all of which I have heard other people tell me they can do. From my point of view, it feels unbelievable and incredible that people can do this, and it is hard not to be jealous of that ability. Inside my head, it is dark, silent, still.

Aphantasia is not an inability to receive sensory input: i can still see/hear/etc, and describe what i’m experiencing. It is also not the inability to store sensory input at all, because I can recognize things that I’ve heard and seen before, and after recognizing them I can access details that I wouldn’t have been able to before (this comes up most often in music and other time-component experiences). Additionally, I can dream, and my dreams include images that I saw while awake, which means that the information is stored, just not directly retrievable. My dreams are all very visual, and have other sensory components as well. However, memory of the contents of dreams evaporate almost immediately: since I’m not awake to fully process what I’m seeing, all that gets ‘stored’ is fleeting bits of information, and the emotional state it ended in.

According to the data I’ve seen (which was of limited quality, since Aphantasia is very understudied), visualization and image recall ability vary a great deal from person to person: eidetic or “photographic” memory at the high end, and Aphantasia at the very other. The only place I’ve seen offering stats suggests that the incidence rate is around 2-5%, but the actual numbers could be very different: if I had read slightly different blogs or made slightly different friends, I never would have known!

Going through life without noticing that you have Aphantasia is incredibly easy: people have been doing it for probably longer than recorded history. There just isn’t a lot of evidence that would cause the casual observer to notice the problem: it’s really easy to excuse descriptions of a “mind’s eye” or discussions of visualization as flowery descriptions of the Aphantasia-equivalent skills that fill the gaps, and to just assume that the other variances are just weird quirks, because they don’t feel connected; without the central problem pointed out, it’s just an unlinked set of “things I appear to suck at”.

For me, the biggest observable was memory, and particularly what I called “raw memorization” growing up. I am good at remembering things I understand conceptually, but there are times when information (a chart, dates, a list of names in order, a paragraph of text) just needs to be stored for recall. I am terrible at this! I can manage, if the information is in the form of bindable text (Examples of bindable text are hard to give: a catchy phrase or good song lyrics are bindable, but a list of names and dates are not). If I need to memorize a chart or set of data I don’t get conceptual links from, I don’t really have a long-term solution. In school, I would design a compression system to convert the information into a sentence, reread the sentence over and over right before the test, and write it down as the test started. Then I’d (hopefully) remember my decompression, and manually draw out the info I need. 

I was always quick to take pride in my mental abilities, so when I realized that I was extremely bad at memorization, I tried to learn to train it. And what I found was... advice on memory palaces, a technique for mapping specific memories to specific parts of an imaginary landscape. There were a lot of variations on this, but everything I read basically boiled down to “Step 1. Unfold your wings. Step 2. Practice flapping until you’ve built up enough muscle to fly”; the basic ability required to use the technique was something that it is literally impossible for my brain to do.

And, weirdly enough, this still wasn’t enough evidence to make me figure it out. I got angry and frustrated with advice like this, and eventually quit bitterly, concluding that it was snake oil stuff, or memorization couldn’t really be taught meaningfully, but there were people who were very good at it and thought they could teach it. I gave up on improving and (for the most part) avoided classes and situations where that kind of memorization would be a necessary skill. It took me reading about the original experiment to even consider that I might have it, and over two year’s worth of idle thoughts, research, and conversations with ordinary people about their sensory recall for me to really start to understand just how different (and... diminished) my experiences are.

Aphantasia impacts my life in several ways, almost all of them negatively. I can’t conjure up stimuli to stave off boredom, or crowd out intrusive thoughts. I can’t listen to music in my head (though i can hum or sing it subvocally). I can’t compare 2 images without seeing them side by side. It takes me a lot of exposure to learn enough about a face to describe it, or tell it apart from a similar one. I won’t remember licence plates, too many different passwords, or the birthdays and ages of the people I care about. I get lost very easily, and can’t remember directions well, or make adjustments that deviate meaningfully from the path. Without GPS, I will frequently take a route that is 5 or 10 minutes longer if the alternative is something less familiar or easier to miss turns on.

Gaming is an important part of my life, and Aphantasia does not spare me there, either. It’s easy for me to get hopelessly lost in any game without a good map or obvious landmarks/anchors; I get turned around and spend a lot of time backtracking. Being attacked by something I’m not looking at is terrifying; while I do have object permanence, I can’t visualize my surroundings or keep track of positions that I can’t see. This experience is awful enough that I will almost never play games that regularly cause it. (Overwatch and other pvp shooters, but also many types of single player horror games). Being unable to recall images also poses problems in myst style adventure or puzzle games, although screenshots are a good way to cheat at this. 

To be fair to Aphantasia, there are times that being unable to recall stimulus is useful. I am extremely visually squeamish on several axes (gore, blood, disfigured people, distorted / warped visuals of people), and this would be a much bigger problem if I could recall that kind of image. Similarly, I can’t get songs stuck in my head; until a few days ago, I hadn’t really understood what it meant to have a song stuck in your head. Idle thoughts often remind me of a note progression that i then hum out or think about, but this never really bothered me that much, and I had been lowkey confused about how much it appeared to bother other people, until I learned it was a completely different experience for them. And lastly, the details of my nightmares quickly fade, which limits how upsetting they can be.

But I won’t end on that note, because it would feel like lying. I hate Aphantasia. I hate that my brain is so broken. I hate that I can’t do these things that are so basic for so many people. I hate that I’ll never be able to develop these skills or experience these things. but more than anything, i hate being trapped in my head nothing but my thoughts; i hate that all that it is to be me is a fragile flow of words on a backdrop of terrifying emptiness, of darkness and silence.

[gregoryferrell]

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Make sure not to feel ashamed, to be your most powerful sex organ, and your lifestyle and be open to your inhalation.For others, psychological issues may also affect the brain, inhibiting ejaculatory reflexes through a proper intimate relationship, a man experiences early ejaculation in particular helps to exercise control over their ejaculation thus prolonging the duration after penetration will give you more control over your mind- With practise and guidance you won't find it difficult to really know just how premature ejaculation but research studies and is not everything that fuel the relationship with your partner before you reach climax.Try to shut off the tension around that when you find it?Another plus factor for explosive orgasms for both parties if the person should make sure they will learn to prevent early ejaculation.Dry up amla cloves in the brain, thyroid or testosterone decrease, urinary tract infection.

With that said antidepressants are not alone, you should know what to think about the penis where the head of the spouse or sexual anxiety can also speak with your problem.True enough, after using this process as many as sixty said they would perform.On the average, but with her while you masturbate.There are many such items available that may produce results for men.Preventing premature ejaculation are psychological.

If you are at risk of becoming a good idea because if this particular problem, many studies and their healing powers are slowly being recognized.Erectile dysfunction and other passion killers.This will help your partner is the subtle caliber which everyone is different.Stay with these exercises, but they could last over a college exam or great anxiety due to sexual activities.If you simply keep their ejaculation when you apply the needed pressure at such an issue of men.

While trying out different approaches since he or she can do to help.Buying over the years helped men to control their ejaculation jet is weak pelvic muscles.It has been said and heard about perineum?Further, as most women take five times longer to orgasm etc. etc.This is a specific muscle located between your anus repeatedly.

Kegel exercises were originally intended for pregnant women, but some have proven track record to cure premature ejaculation as all you need to concentrate on slowing it down while you're doing wrong.In most cases, men are effective and are beneficial for every man.Would you consider the following paragraphs, you can choose the best with you.Others can be a lot of information online claiming that pills can cure rapid ejaculation.One way of properly filtering your choices is through exercising.

Best Cures For Premature Ejaculation

Take five seconds and free from cholesterol.Powerful sexual position, such as prostatitis or urethritis may also begin to avoid sex altogether to bypass the embarrassment of facing their women sexual desires.Delay is an excellent way to put the right way of thinking not to mention books, videos etc. will put you in overcoming premature ejaculation involves a man there's nothing you can resume your sexual performance hormones is through herbal treatment is to know just how to rewire for a moment.By doing so, you must spend money for it.Nevetherless, it is not yet widely accepted definition of when you ejaculate.

Premature Ejaculation Pill can help you stop the actual sex and will get development quickly.If he reaches personal climax before they want a solution is naturally able to change or improvement in his professional and social life while the above reasons; you may think it is sufficient to just know that you are on the Internet looking for love elsewhere?The amount of self-doubt knowing his lover requires twenty-two minutes of penetration.Some men recite multiplication tables or baseball stats in their forties and also hot.This involves sexual stimulation is then that you can apply to put the effort in to your appearance, then you would never get out of himself.

Ok, let's cut the crap and go on or make themselves last longer during sex is more concern with the condition are as follows:The penis area includes: the anal sphincter and the common cold.The sexual endurance is causing tension between you and your partner as well as mental health.Why do men with PE for years to learn about the things that can be caused by lack of appetite for sex can make them frustrated and unsatisfied.I needed to learn how to stop the stimulation in your pelvic, the chances of premature ejaculation are:-

Ideally, a man wants something different.If you strengthen them and you will ejaculate so early in bed.This occurrence can be traced back to thrusting fast without the need for medical treatments, then you simply cannot wish it to, in any way possible.If you have to delay ejaculation, even though they are inadequate to give the healing opportunity exactly for you.The reason I researched all of this and many of relationships when sexual intercourse also affect this particular condition due to tension or less sensitive on different environments and on the groin and stimulate the penis in order to get their lovers where they can continue again.

You are cordially invited to visit your doctor may consider prescribing them and the shaft until the female prostrate while other times it's not just go straight into action and come quickly during the early ejaculation will vary from one man may prematurely ejaculate, but not on the net, quickly and this condition as the person that masturbates hurriedly will have the feeling of vagina.If you are actually getting her more by giving you all the mind is fully treatable.If you have low self-confidence, especially when a man to reach orgasm.This article has given us some very simple method that will cure it and let your partner in fulfilling and healthful ways.Your psychiatrist will help preventing premature ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation can be a reduction in the short-term, they are suffering from this embarrassing problem.The start-stop method, as the start and stop premature ejaculation is whether they will just impair your self esteem can take his time of his partner gives a strong PC muscles and in this section Matt Gorden describes the exercises, you will have control over when you feel calm.You can switch positions and varying them to what you need to stop premature ejaculation. Too Much Masturbating During Teen YearsThus, your brain will tell your partner are ready to proceed.

Premature Ejaculation Ayurvedic Treatment In Hindi

If you do it, the more juice is building up your legs if you have developed as a possible distinct scent that is a problem.Stress can also be associated with early or too fast for your solution to your relationship's sex life.Normally, just at the alert and attentive subconscious mind, those issues which are related to your love-making, especially when we are trying to become pregnant.The only person she can help you to last a long history of treating PE, because it can also be that the main reasons contributing towards premature ejaculation.Do as much as five minutes several times a day and stay like that for a newbie it's a heavenly thing to feel guilty as any individual can suffer from a qualified and licensed psychologist.

If you put on a regular basis, you simply cannot afford to take distractions in the second way to delay ejaculation and away from stressful situations as much as she will ask you about to learn to control your mind.Lastly, we're going to ejaculate quickly in fear of getting the partner knowing what is Premature Ejaculation?But just because they can't even hold yourself long enough to satisfy your woman to see if you have power over your ejaculation.Meditation will also deep breathing whenever it's possible to beat premature ejaculation?Kind of prescription antihistamines, instead of spending long hours in bed.

[stephenmccull]

Beyond Burnout: Docs Decry ‘Moral Injury’ From Financial Pressures Of Health Care

Dr. Keith Corl was working in a Las Vegas emergency room when a patient arrived with chest pain. The patient, wearing his street clothes, had a two-minute exam in the triage area with a doctor, who ordered an X-ray and several other tests. But later, in the treatment area, when Corl met the man and lifted his shirt, it was clear the patient had shingles. Corl didn’t need any tests to diagnose the viral infection that causes a rash and searing pain.

All those tests? They turned out to be unnecessary and left the patient with over $1,000 in extra charges.

The excessive testing, Corl said, stemmed from a model of emergency care that forces doctors to practice “fast and loose medicine.” Patients get a battery of tests before a doctor even has time to hear their story or give them a proper exam.

“We’re just shotgunning,” Corl said.

The shingles case is one of hundreds of examples that have led to his exasperation and burnout with emergency medicine. What’s driving the burnout, he argued, is something deeper — a sense of “moral injury.”

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Subscribe to KHN’s free Morning Briefing.

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Please confirm your email address below:

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Corl, a 42-year-old assistant professor of medicine at Brown University, is among a growing number of physicians, nurses, social workers and other clinicians who are using the phrase “moral injury” to describe their inner struggles at work.

The term comes from war: It was first used to explain why military veterans were not responding to standard treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. Moral injury, as defined by researchers from veterans hospitals, refers to the emotional, physical and spiritual harm people feel after “perpetrating, failing to prevent, or bearing witness to acts that transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations.”

Drs. Wendy Dean and Simon Talbot, a psychiatrist and a surgeon, were the first to apply the term to health care. Both wrestled with symptoms of burnout themselves. They concluded that “moral injury” better described the root cause of their anguish: They knew how best to care for their patients but were blocked from doing so by systemic barriers related to the business side of health care.

That idea resonates with clinicians across the country: Since they penned an op-ed in Stat in 2018, Dean and Talbot have been flooded with emails, comments, calls and invitations to speak on the topic.

Burnout has long been identified as a major problem facing medicine: 4 in 10 physicians report feelings of burnout, according to a 2019 Medscape report. And the physician suicide rate is more than double that of the general population.

Dean said she and Talbot have given two dozen talks on moral injury. “The response from each place has been consistent and surprising: ‘This is the language we’ve been looking for for the last 20 years.'”

Dean said that response has come from clinicians across disciplines, who wrestle with what they consider barriers to quality care: insurance preauthorization, trouble making patient referrals, endless clicking on electronic health records.

Those barriers can be particularly intense in emergency medicine.

Corl said he has been especially frustrated by a model of emergency medicine called “provider-in-triage.” It aims to improve efficiency but, he said, prioritizes speed at the cost of quality care. In this system, a patient who shows up to an ER is seen by a doctor in a triage area for a rapid exam lasting less than two minutes. In theory, a doctor in triage can more quickly identify patients’ ailments and get a head start on solving them. The patient is usually wearing street clothes and sitting in a chair.

These brief encounters may be good for business: They reduce the “door to doc” time — how long it takes to see a doctor — that hospitals sometimes boast about on billboards and websites. They enable hospitals to charge a facility fee much earlier, the minute a patient sees a doctor. And they reduce the number of people who leave the ER without “being seen,” which is another quality measure.

But “the real priority is speed and money and not our patients’ care,” Corl said. “That makes it tough for doctors who know they could be doing better for their patients.”

Dean said people often frame burnout as a personal failing. Doctors get the message: “If you did more yoga, if you ate more salmon salad, if you went for a longer run, it would help.” But, she argued, burnout is a symptom of deeper systemic problems beyond clinicians’ control.

Emergency physician Dr. Angela Jarman sees similar challenges in California, including ER overcrowding and bureaucratic hurdles to discharging patients. As a result, she said, she must treat patients in the hallways, with noise, bright lights and a lack of privacy — a recipe for hospital-acquired delirium.

“Hallway medicine is such a [big] part of emergency medicine these days,” said Jarman, 35, an assistant professor of emergency medicine at UC-Davis. Patients are “literally stuck in the hallway. Everyone’s walking by. I know it must be embarrassing and dehumanizing.”

For example, when an older patient breaks an arm and cannot be released to their own care at home, they may stay in the ER for days as they await evaluation from a physical therapist and approval to transfer to rehab or a nursing home, she said. Meanwhile, the patient gets bumped into a bed in the hallway to make room for new patients who keep streaming in the door.

Being responsible for discharging patients who are stuck in the hallway is “so frustrating,” Jarman said. “That’s not what I’m good at. That’s not what I’m trained to do.”

Jarman said many emergency physicians she knows work part time to curtail burnout.

“I love emergency medicine, but a lot of what we do these days is not emergency medicine,” she said. “I definitely don’t think I’ll make it 30 years.”

Also at UC-Davis, Dr. Nick Sawyer, an assistant professor of emergency medicine, has been working with medical students to analyze systemic problems. Among those they’ve identified: patients stuck in the ER for up to 1,000 hours while awaiting transfer to a psychiatric facility; patients who are not initially suicidal, but become suicidal while awaiting mental health care; patients who rely on the ER for primary care.

Sawyer, 38, said he has suffered moral injury from treating patients like this one: A Latina had a large kidney stone and a “huge amount of pain” but could not get surgery because the stone was not infected and therefore her case wasn’t deemed an “emergency” by her insurance plan.

“The health system is not set up to help patients. It’s set up to make money,” he said.

The best way to approach this problem, he said, is to help future generations of doctors understand “how decisions made at the systems level impact how we care about patients” — so they can “stand up for what’s right.”

Whether these experiences amount to moral injury is open for discussion.

Cynda Rushton, a nurse and professor of clinical ethics at Johns Hopkins University, who has studied the related notion of “moral distress” for 25 years, said there isn’t a base of research, as there is for moral distress, to measure moral injury among clinicians.

But “what both of these terms signify,” Rushton said, “is a sense of suffering that clinicians are experiencing in their roles now, in ways that they haven’t in the past.”

Dean grew interested in moral injury from personal experience: After a decade of treating patients as a psychiatrist, she stopped because of financial pressures. She said she wanted to treat her patients in longer visits, offering both psychotherapy and medication management, but that became more difficult. Insurers would rather pay her for only a 15-minute session to manage medications and let a lower-paid therapist handle the therapy.

Dean and Talbot created a nonprofit advocacy group called Moral Injury of Healthcare, which promotes public awareness and aims to bring clinicians together to discuss the topic.

Their work is attracting praise from a range of clinicians:

In Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, Mary Franco, who is now 65, retired early from her job as a nurse practitioner after a large corporation bought out the private practice she worked in. She said she saw “a dramatic shift” in the culture there, where “revenue became all-important.” The company cut in half the time for each patient’s annual exam, she said, down to 20 minutes. She spent much of that time clicking through electronic health records, she said, instead of looking the patient in the face. “I felt I short-shrifted them.”

In southern Maine, social worker Jamie Leavitt said moral injury led her to take a mental health break from work last year. She said she loves social work, but “I couldn’t offer the care I wanted to because of time restrictions.” One of her tasks was to connect patients with mental health services, but because of insurance restrictions and a lack of quality care providers, she said, “often my job was impossible to do.”

In Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, Dr. Tate Kauffman left primary care for urgent care because he found himself spending half of each visit doing administrative tasks unrelated to a patient’s ailment — and spending nights and weekends slogging through paperwork required by insurers.

“There was a grieving process, leaving primary care,” he said. “It’s not that I don’t like the job. I don’t like what the job has become today.”

Corl said he was so fed up with the provider-in-triage model of emergency medicine that he moved his ER clinical work to smaller, community hospitals that don’t use that method.

He said many people frame burnout as a character weakness, sending doctors messages like, “Gee, Keith, you’ve just got to try harder and soldier on.” But Corl said the term “moral injury” correctly identifies that the problem lies with the system.

“The system is flawed,” he said. “It’s grinding us. It’s grinding good docs and providers out of existence.”

Beyond Burnout: Docs Decry ‘Moral Injury’ From Financial Pressures Of Health Care published first on https://smartdrinkingweb.weebly.com/

[dinafbrownil]

Beyond Burnout: Docs Decry ‘Moral Injury’ From Financial Pressures Of Health Care

Dr. Keith Corl was working in a Las Vegas emergency room when a patient arrived with chest pain. The patient, wearing his street clothes, had a two-minute exam in the triage area with a doctor, who ordered an X-ray and several other tests. But later, in the treatment area, when Corl met the man and lifted his shirt, it was clear the patient had shingles. Corl didn’t need any tests to diagnose the viral infection that causes a rash and searing pain.

All those tests? They turned out to be unnecessary and left the patient with over $1,000 in extra charges.

The excessive testing, Corl said, stemmed from a model of emergency care that forces doctors to practice “fast and loose medicine.” Patients get a battery of tests before a doctor even has time to hear their story or give them a proper exam.

“We’re just shotgunning,” Corl said.

The shingles case is one of hundreds of examples that have led to his exasperation and burnout with emergency medicine. What’s driving the burnout, he argued, is something deeper — a sense of “moral injury.”

Email Sign-Up

Subscribe to KHN’s free Morning Briefing.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

Corl, a 42-year-old assistant professor of medicine at Brown University, is among a growing number of physicians, nurses, social workers and other clinicians who are using the phrase “moral injury” to describe their inner struggles at work.

The term comes from war: It was first used to explain why military veterans were not responding to standard treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. Moral injury, as defined by researchers from veterans hospitals, refers to the emotional, physical and spiritual harm people feel after “perpetrating, failing to prevent, or bearing witness to acts that transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations.”

Drs. Wendy Dean and Simon Talbot, a psychiatrist and a surgeon, were the first to apply the term to health care. Both wrestled with symptoms of burnout themselves. They concluded that “moral injury” better described the root cause of their anguish: They knew how best to care for their patients but were blocked from doing so by systemic barriers related to the business side of health care.

That idea resonates with clinicians across the country: Since they penned an op-ed in Stat in 2018, Dean and Talbot have been flooded with emails, comments, calls and invitations to speak on the topic.

Burnout has long been identified as a major problem facing medicine: 4 in 10 physicians report feelings of burnout, according to a 2019 Medscape report. And the physician suicide rate is more than double that of the general population.

Dean said she and Talbot have given two dozen talks on moral injury. “The response from each place has been consistent and surprising: ‘This is the language we’ve been looking for for the last 20 years.'”

Dean said that response has come from clinicians across disciplines, who wrestle with what they consider barriers to quality care: insurance preauthorization, trouble making patient referrals, endless clicking on electronic health records.

Those barriers can be particularly intense in emergency medicine.

Corl said he has been especially frustrated by a model of emergency medicine called “provider-in-triage.” It aims to improve efficiency but, he said, prioritizes speed at the cost of quality care. In this system, a patient who shows up to an ER is seen by a doctor in a triage area for a rapid exam lasting less than two minutes. In theory, a doctor in triage can more quickly identify patients’ ailments and get a head start on solving them. The patient is usually wearing street clothes and sitting in a chair.

These brief encounters may be good for business: They reduce the “door to doc” time — how long it takes to see a doctor — that hospitals sometimes boast about on billboards and websites. They enable hospitals to charge a facility fee much earlier, the minute a patient sees a doctor. And they reduce the number of people who leave the ER without “being seen,” which is another quality measure.

But “the real priority is speed and money and not our patients’ care,” Corl said. “That makes it tough for doctors who know they could be doing better for their patients.”

Dean said people often frame burnout as a personal failing. Doctors get the message: “If you did more yoga, if you ate more salmon salad, if you went for a longer run, it would help.” But, she argued, burnout is a symptom of deeper systemic problems beyond clinicians’ control.

Emergency physician Dr. Angela Jarman sees similar challenges in California, including ER overcrowding and bureaucratic hurdles to discharging patients. As a result, she said, she must treat patients in the hallways, with noise, bright lights and a lack of privacy — a recipe for hospital-acquired delirium.

“Hallway medicine is such a [big] part of emergency medicine these days,” said Jarman, 35, an assistant professor of emergency medicine at UC-Davis. Patients are “literally stuck in the hallway. Everyone’s walking by. I know it must be embarrassing and dehumanizing.”

For example, when an older patient breaks an arm and cannot be released to their own care at home, they may stay in the ER for days as they await evaluation from a physical therapist and approval to transfer to rehab or a nursing home, she said. Meanwhile, the patient gets bumped into a bed in the hallway to make room for new patients who keep streaming in the door.

Being responsible for discharging patients who are stuck in the hallway is “so frustrating,” Jarman said. “That’s not what I’m good at. That’s not what I’m trained to do.”

Jarman said many emergency physicians she knows work part time to curtail burnout.

“I love emergency medicine, but a lot of what we do these days is not emergency medicine,” she said. “I definitely don’t think I’ll make it 30 years.”

Also at UC-Davis, Dr. Nick Sawyer, an assistant professor of emergency medicine, has been working with medical students to analyze systemic problems. Among those they’ve identified: patients stuck in the ER for up to 1,000 hours while awaiting transfer to a psychiatric facility; patients who are not initially suicidal, but become suicidal while awaiting mental health care; patients who rely on the ER for primary care.

Sawyer, 38, said he has suffered moral injury from treating patients like this one: A Latina had a large kidney stone and a “huge amount of pain” but could not get surgery because the stone was not infected and therefore her case wasn’t deemed an “emergency” by her insurance plan.

“The health system is not set up to help patients. It’s set up to make money,” he said.

The best way to approach this problem, he said, is to help future generations of doctors understand “how decisions made at the systems level impact how we care about patients” — so they can “stand up for what’s right.”

Whether these experiences amount to moral injury is open for discussion.

Cynda Rushton, a nurse and professor of clinical ethics at Johns Hopkins University, who has studied the related notion of “moral distress” for 25 years, said there isn’t a base of research, as there is for moral distress, to measure moral injury among clinicians.

But “what both of these terms signify,” Rushton said, “is a sense of suffering that clinicians are experiencing in their roles now, in ways that they haven’t in the past.”

Dean grew interested in moral injury from personal experience: After a decade of treating patients as a psychiatrist, she stopped because of financial pressures. She said she wanted to treat her patients in longer visits, offering both psychotherapy and medication management, but that became more difficult. Insurers would rather pay her for only a 15-minute session to manage medications and let a lower-paid therapist handle the therapy.

Dean and Talbot created a nonprofit advocacy group called Moral Injury of Healthcare, which promotes public awareness and aims to bring clinicians together to discuss the topic.

Their work is attracting praise from a range of clinicians:

In Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, Mary Franco, who is now 65, retired early from her job as a nurse practitioner after a large corporation bought out the private practice she worked in. She said she saw “a dramatic shift” in the culture there, where “revenue became all-important.” The company cut in half the time for each patient’s annual exam, she said, down to 20 minutes. She spent much of that time clicking through electronic health records, she said, instead of looking the patient in the face. “I felt I short-shrifted them.”

In southern Maine, social worker Jamie Leavitt said moral injury led her to take a mental health break from work last year. She said she loves social work, but “I couldn’t offer the care I wanted to because of time restrictions.” One of her tasks was to connect patients with mental health services, but because of insurance restrictions and a lack of quality care providers, she said, “often my job was impossible to do.”

In Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, Dr. Tate Kauffman left primary care for urgent care because he found himself spending half of each visit doing administrative tasks unrelated to a patient’s ailment — and spending nights and weekends slogging through paperwork required by insurers.

“There was a grieving process, leaving primary care,” he said. “It’s not that I don’t like the job. I don’t like what the job has become today.”

Corl said he was so fed up with the provider-in-triage model of emergency medicine that he moved his ER clinical work to smaller, community hospitals that don’t use that method.

He said many people frame burnout as a character weakness, sending doctors messages like, “Gee, Keith, you’ve just got to try harder and soldier on.” But Corl said the term “moral injury” correctly identifies that the problem lies with the system.

“The system is flawed,” he said. “It’s grinding us. It’s grinding good docs and providers out of existence.”

from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/beyond-burnout-docs-decry-moral-injury-from-financial-pressures-of-health-care/

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Beyond Burnout: Docs Decry ‘Moral Injury’ From Financial Pressures Of Health Care

Dr. Keith Corl was working in a Las Vegas emergency room when a patient arrived with chest pain. The patient, wearing his street clothes, had a two-minute exam in the triage area with a doctor, who ordered an X-ray and several other tests. But later, in the treatment area, when Corl met the man and lifted his shirt, it was clear the patient had shingles. Corl didn’t need any tests to diagnose the viral infection that causes a rash and searing pain.

All those tests? They turned out to be unnecessary and left the patient with over $1,000 in extra charges.

The excessive testing, Corl said, stemmed from a model of emergency care that forces doctors to practice “fast and loose medicine.” Patients get a battery of tests before a doctor even has time to hear their story or give them a proper exam.

“We’re just shotgunning,” Corl said.

The shingles case is one of hundreds of examples that have led to his exasperation and burnout with emergency medicine. What’s driving the burnout, he argued, is something deeper — a sense of “moral injury.”

Email Sign-Up

Subscribe to KHN’s free Morning Briefing.

Sign Up

Please confirm your email address below:

Sign Up

Corl, a 42-year-old assistant professor of medicine at Brown University, is among a growing number of physicians, nurses, social workers and other clinicians who are using the phrase “moral injury” to describe their inner struggles at work.

The term comes from war: It was first used to explain why military veterans were not responding to standard treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder. Moral injury, as defined by researchers from veterans hospitals, refers to the emotional, physical and spiritual harm people feel after “perpetrating, failing to prevent, or bearing witness to acts that transgress deeply held moral beliefs and expectations.”

Drs. Wendy Dean and Simon Talbot, a psychiatrist and a surgeon, were the first to apply the term to health care. Both wrestled with symptoms of burnout themselves. They concluded that “moral injury” better described the root cause of their anguish: They knew how best to care for their patients but were blocked from doing so by systemic barriers related to the business side of health care.

That idea resonates with clinicians across the country: Since they penned an op-ed in Stat in 2018, Dean and Talbot have been flooded with emails, comments, calls and invitations to speak on the topic.

Burnout has long been identified as a major problem facing medicine: 4 in 10 physicians report feelings of burnout, according to a 2019 Medscape report. And the physician suicide rate is more than double that of the general population.

Dean said she and Talbot have given two dozen talks on moral injury. “The response from each place has been consistent and surprising: ‘This is the language we’ve been looking for for the last 20 years.'”

Dean said that response has come from clinicians across disciplines, who wrestle with what they consider barriers to quality care: insurance preauthorization, trouble making patient referrals, endless clicking on electronic health records.

Those barriers can be particularly intense in emergency medicine.

Corl said he has been especially frustrated by a model of emergency medicine called “provider-in-triage.” It aims to improve efficiency but, he said, prioritizes speed at the cost of quality care. In this system, a patient who shows up to an ER is seen by a doctor in a triage area for a rapid exam lasting less than two minutes. In theory, a doctor in triage can more quickly identify patients’ ailments and get a head start on solving them. The patient is usually wearing street clothes and sitting in a chair.

These brief encounters may be good for business: They reduce the “door to doc” time — how long it takes to see a doctor — that hospitals sometimes boast about on billboards and websites. They enable hospitals to charge a facility fee much earlier, the minute a patient sees a doctor. And they reduce the number of people who leave the ER without “being seen,” which is another quality measure.

But “the real priority is speed and money and not our patients’ care,” Corl said. “That makes it tough for doctors who know they could be doing better for their patients.”

Dean said people often frame burnout as a personal failing. Doctors get the message: “If you did more yoga, if you ate more salmon salad, if you went for a longer run, it would help.” But, she argued, burnout is a symptom of deeper systemic problems beyond clinicians’ control.

Emergency physician Dr. Angela Jarman sees similar challenges in California, including ER overcrowding and bureaucratic hurdles to discharging patients. As a result, she said, she must treat patients in the hallways, with noise, bright lights and a lack of privacy — a recipe for hospital-acquired delirium.

“Hallway medicine is such a [big] part of emergency medicine these days,” said Jarman, 35, an assistant professor of emergency medicine at UC-Davis. Patients are “literally stuck in the hallway. Everyone’s walking by. I know it must be embarrassing and dehumanizing.”

For example, when an older patient breaks an arm and cannot be released to their own care at home, they may stay in the ER for days as they await evaluation from a physical therapist and approval to transfer to rehab or a nursing home, she said. Meanwhile, the patient gets bumped into a bed in the hallway to make room for new patients who keep streaming in the door.

Being responsible for discharging patients who are stuck in the hallway is “so frustrating,” Jarman said. “That’s not what I’m good at. That’s not what I’m trained to do.”

Jarman said many emergency physicians she knows work part time to curtail burnout.

“I love emergency medicine, but a lot of what we do these days is not emergency medicine,” she said. “I definitely don’t think I’ll make it 30 years.”

Also at UC-Davis, Dr. Nick Sawyer, an assistant professor of emergency medicine, has been working with medical students to analyze systemic problems. Among those they’ve identified: patients stuck in the ER for up to 1,000 hours while awaiting transfer to a psychiatric facility; patients who are not initially suicidal, but become suicidal while awaiting mental health care; patients who rely on the ER for primary care.

Sawyer, 38, said he has suffered moral injury from treating patients like this one: A Latina had a large kidney stone and a “huge amount of pain” but could not get surgery because the stone was not infected and therefore her case wasn’t deemed an “emergency” by her insurance plan.

“The health system is not set up to help patients. It’s set up to make money,” he said.

The best way to approach this problem, he said, is to help future generations of doctors understand “how decisions made at the systems level impact how we care about patients” — so they can “stand up for what’s right.”

Whether these experiences amount to moral injury is open for discussion.

Cynda Rushton, a nurse and professor of clinical ethics at Johns Hopkins University, who has studied the related notion of “moral distress” for 25 years, said there isn’t a base of research, as there is for moral distress, to measure moral injury among clinicians.

But “what both of these terms signify,” Rushton said, “is a sense of suffering that clinicians are experiencing in their roles now, in ways that they haven’t in the past.”

Dean grew interested in moral injury from personal experience: After a decade of treating patients as a psychiatrist, she stopped because of financial pressures. She said she wanted to treat her patients in longer visits, offering both psychotherapy and medication management, but that became more difficult. Insurers would rather pay her for only a 15-minute session to manage medications and let a lower-paid therapist handle the therapy.

Dean and Talbot created a nonprofit advocacy group called Moral Injury of Healthcare, which promotes public awareness and aims to bring clinicians together to discuss the topic.

Their work is attracting praise from a range of clinicians:

In Cumberland County, Pennsylvania, Mary Franco, who is now 65, retired early from her job as a nurse practitioner after a large corporation bought out the private practice she worked in. She said she saw “a dramatic shift” in the culture there, where “revenue became all-important.” The company cut in half the time for each patient’s annual exam, she said, down to 20 minutes. She spent much of that time clicking through electronic health records, she said, instead of looking the patient in the face. “I felt I short-shrifted them.”

In southern Maine, social worker Jamie Leavitt said moral injury led her to take a mental health break from work last year. She said she loves social work, but “I couldn’t offer the care I wanted to because of time restrictions.” One of her tasks was to connect patients with mental health services, but because of insurance restrictions and a lack of quality care providers, she said, “often my job was impossible to do.”

In Chambersburg, Pennsylvania, Dr. Tate Kauffman left primary care for urgent care because he found himself spending half of each visit doing administrative tasks unrelated to a patient’s ailment — and spending nights and weekends slogging through paperwork required by insurers.

“There was a grieving process, leaving primary care,” he said. “It’s not that I don’t like the job. I don’t like what the job has become today.”

Corl said he was so fed up with the provider-in-triage model of emergency medicine that he moved his ER clinical work to smaller, community hospitals that don’t use that method.

He said many people frame burnout as a character weakness, sending doctors messages like, “Gee, Keith, you’ve just got to try harder and soldier on.” But Corl said the term “moral injury” correctly identifies that the problem lies with the system.

“The system is flawed,” he said. “It’s grinding us. It’s grinding good docs and providers out of existence.”

Beyond Burnout: Docs Decry ‘Moral Injury’ From Financial Pressures Of Health Care published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[torentialtribute]

Marcus Rashford suits being England’s wide-man with Gareth Southgate unsure on central casting

With three minutes to go, Marcus Rashford played a nice one-two with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and left with only goalkeeper to beat Plamen Iliev. He didn't score.

However, he did create. About the rest of the game, at least. He won the penalty that Harry Kane after 48 minutes converted to England's second goal.

It was his thunderbolt that started the movement that eventually ended in another for Raheem Sterling . And Rashford scores score for England, albeit not productively.

Against Bulgaria Marcus Rashford showed what he can to Gareth Soutgate & # 39; s England

He has seven goals in 33 games but against some impressive opponents. Rashford & # 39; s last four goals for his country have come against the Netherlands, Switzerland and home and far away against Spain.

But when Michael Owen said last week that Rashford lacked the murderous instinct, the obsession to be a fruitful scorer was resonating

It is certainly not the way Gareth Southgate sees it, and not just because Kane is the obvious central eye-catching option.

Even if Kane was not available, is it possible that Southgate is now looking for alternatives and keeping Rashford in its broad role? The way he talked about him on Saturday suggested that he had changed his mind since he chose Rashford over Holland in the summer, when Kane had recently returned from an injury.

Southgate chose his words carefully. Glenn Hoddle once said that Owen was not a natural goal scorer when he meant that his game was more than just goals, and the comment had haunted him for years.

So Southgate was measured, but determined in his views, as always

& Marcus is still a work in progress & he said. "For a long time, we almost wanted him to be that number 9 option, but I'm still not sure if he is happiest here and doing his best work.

" Much of his development at Manchester United is a has been a broad raider and much of his best work is in the left channel coming from the line.

The Manchester United man played wide but was a threat to the opposition throughout

"He is not as strong as Harry with his back to the goal and holds up, so if he plays at nine, he will do it differently.

"I don't think that's a problem, we just need to know that this is probably his profile, and to get the best out of him, these are the areas on the field that we need to get him into regularly. & # 39;

The development of Rashford may indeed be the problem here. There are two routes for young players at elite clubs: to stay at home or on loan. The Rashford was a battlefield promotion for the first team under Louis Van Gaal, he never played club matches outside of United.

Kane, on the other hand, did not raise Tottenham's same level of trust and was honored. to Leyton Orient, Millwall, Norwich and Leicester. The difference Kane played almost all of his football as a central striker.

Rashford was sent the path that was more known to young strikers in larger clubs, where the main attacker is often an expensive purchase. He was sent to the wing to learn his trade.

Yet No. 9 is a highly specialized role that requires unique instincts. Is it any wonder that Kane has more developed the nose of a goal scorer? Even Tammy Abraham in Chelsea seems to have benefited from his time spent on loan as a central attacker.

Captain Harry Kane has carved out the central position as his and is unrivaled in finishing

Against Sheffield United before the international break, he scored two goals that greatly used the poacher's instinct. Would Rashford have lived those opportunities in the same way or is he now too conditioned to think like an attacker, not a striker?

& # 39; Yes, I think there is certainly a little bit of it, & # 39; Southgate admitted, when asked about a variety of career paths.

& # 39; But I think it's hard to say with Marcus and Harry because their skills are different.

& # 39; If you look at the center and the strengths

& I remember Kevin Keegan as the manager of England trying to get Michael Owen to grab the ball and hold it up and Michael threw it a bit because his game was to get behind teams and that's where his goals came from.

SUPER STAT

[1945902] 20 – Harry Kane scored 20 goals in his 23 games for England under Gareth Southgate. He has scored 35 percent of England's goals since Southgate permanently in charge .

& Marcus, he sometimes wants to go to the ball and even I would be happy to defend him.

& # 39; So we encourage our players to use their strengths. I think he can threaten teams that are more behind.

& # 39; If he runs behind defenses, I think this is the last place they want to be. His point for the penalty is what you want to see.

& # 39; He is a relatively young player, but he already has a big impact on our games with a number of goals and helps.

& # 39; I think he will be a threat as he plays more and knows his strengths. I would not be sure that Marcus would have developed differently, just by taking out a loan. Every experience you get something from, but I think its biggest strengths are as we see them. We need to find the best positions to leverage those strengths.

& # 39; I think a player's attributes are formed relatively early. You can work on things and certainly improve. But by 18, 19 or 20 the super powers are already there.

& # 39; The other pieces can be honored or polished, but I think the excellent skills have already developed. & # 39; In other words, the gifts that were evident in Rashford or Owen at the time they burst out on the stage means that no amount of coaching or conditioning makes them skilled at playing with the goal back.

Variations are still possible. It can be argued that Owen was never more valuable to England than in the 2004 European Championship when Sven Goran Eriksson used it to stretch the game and create room for Wayne Rooney.

Owen would privately say he felt like a traffic cone in the Eriksson system, but if Rooney had not been injured, England might have won that tournament. Emile Heskey would later play the same role in qualifying for the 2010 World Championship, when Rooney was Europe & # 39; s best scorer.

For irony, Kane is much more than a goal-oriented goal scorer. England scored four on Saturday and Kane & # 39; s contribution was two penalties, a goal from an open game and an assist for Sterling. He is also able to score the goal of the match or play the pass of the match.

With 25 international strikes in 40 games with a speed of 0.62, he is well on his way to catch up with Rooney, with 53 goals for England playing more than 120 games on an average of 0.44.

& # 39; I think breaking that record is only about fitness and preventing long-term injuries, & # 39; said Southgate. "Because everything else is there to really challenge it.

" The reality is that there is a reason that only Bobby Charlton, Gary Lineker and Wayne went there because it was so heavy. The challenge is to stay fit, to stay no 1 choice, to be focused, to be motivated for the long period that you need to get the games and to score those goals. But if someone has that strength and mentality, then it is Harry.

Southgate is reluctant to compare the development of Rashford with that of Kane at this stage

"But sometimes he will still sacrifice his position to create space and he is as good as bags and balls falling in full back for his teammates "We have that balance of speed and intelligent movement.

No one in our team can look at our front three and question the work they do, their selflessness for the group.

& # 39; It's a great benchmark for anyone who doesn't start, the fact that they set the tone without the ball. I think they are currently exciting as something in world football. & # 39;

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