#because i really don't want to mess up my tagging

[dwaekkicidal]

hihii ! i love the way you write hybrid skz, it’s just so fun to read & i eat it up everytime 😚🫶 !!

lowkey might be cliche LMAO but i’m obsessed w the thought of fox!innie & bunny!reader, either reader is in her heat & innie is being a little horny shit or .. reader is sick of his bullshit & ends up bouncing on his dick until they’re both whimpering messes ><

if i cant have this, whats the point in being alive. (im kidding) (im not) thank you for this anon i love you so bad

also this is gender neutral! i talk about breeding but fox!jeongin thinks if he tries hard enough, he can and will get you pregnant. no matter what. :)

alpha fox!jeongin who smells your heat days away. that in itself is enough to get him going but when he sees you start to nest, in his bed, he absolutely loses his mind

he gives you no time to say anything before he's dragging you to said nest, tossing you onto it and settling himself on top of you

he starts off just hovering above you as he plants each kiss, hickey, and bite to your neck. he's insanely impatient and will have you bent over and impaled on his cock no longer than a few minutes after having pinned you to the bed.

depending on what you're wearing he might start fucking you within a few seconds- he'll yank your top off and will simply push your underwear to the bottom of your ass and sink into you fully, no prep because he wants you to really feel all of him <3

and he's so mean when he fucks you!!! switches between either tangling a hand in your hair and shoving your face into your nest OR grabbing a tight hold at the base of your bunny ears and pulling, forcing you to arch your back for him

his cock is nestled so deep that you can feel him in your guts, your stomach eventually hurting from how hard he pounds into you and from how much he cums inside of you

and speaking of cum, don't you dare even think about wasting any of it. deep down he knows its inevitable that it will spill out, especially because he cums actual buckets every time, but also because he cums into you over and over and over again

however! that wont stop him from getting easily pissed off when he sees a drop of his cum venturing too far from your puffy hole >.<

youll be lucky if thats enough for him to pull out for a second, but more often than not it leads to him pulling you upright and flat against his chest so he can land a few slaps to your thighs while he's still deep inside of you, his hips no longer moving

says shit like; "what do you think you're doing??? ungrateful bunny. i put all this effort into fucking you silly and all i ask is that you keep my pups safe." with a tight grip on your hair holding you perfectly still so he can whisper it into your ear.... ugh..

if youre too out of it and dont answer hes gonna growl and start fucking you hard. his free hand is gonna drop to your thighs and scoop up any loose cum so he can shove those pretty fingers down your throat- "since this little hole wont accept my cum, that slutty mouth'll have to do."

when he does eventually get tired, literal hours later..., you're finally allowed a break! he lets you do your thing in the bathroom, growling to himself at the thought/knowledge that you're gonna be ridding yourself of- wasting- a lot of the cum he just allowed you

but oh! whats that? jeongin is starting to feel a little hot and under the weather by the time you come back in the room? wait... he thinks you triggered his heat? oh. well, in that case, you can go a "few" more rounds, right? :)

it doesn't take long for him to rest his back against the headboard after dragging you back to the bed. and he'll kiss your complaints away when the action causes your nest to get messed up. he doesn't let you get too upset about it, cause he loves you to death! and if forcing you to ride his cock and take it to the very hilt is enough to stop your heart from breaking, then he will happily do so

long fingers digging into your thighs and shit eating grin spread across his face, his canines poking out slightly as he stares up at you as you ride him. and when you inevitably get too tired to continue, he's gonna use those pretty muscles to lift you and drop you onto him!

and dont worry! your pretty little whimpers and cries dont discourage him :) and thats because "you need to take it, bunny. 'm not stopping until your cute little tummy is full of me." so if you've never met a stubborn person before, you are in for a real treat with this greedy ass hybrid.

he's soooo happy... this position lets him go so deep, scratching that little itch in the back of his head about how he needs to breed you- and he's sure he's doing it thoroughly enough when your nails dig into his shoulders in overstimulation.

dont mistake his own whimpers for him running out of fuel! he's not even close to being done yet, so don't expect to get away anytime soon~ you're gonna sit right there, on your rightful throne, and you're gonna accept every. last. drop. of his offerings.

he needs to mark his somehow <3

Taglist (red=can’t be tagged):

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess @kittycatkrissa

@nicora04 @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightndaydreams

[bullet-prooflove]

Hi!

45: I just really don't wanna hear it right now Can you shut up for like once in your life?

For Judd Ryder please?

Thanks!

Tagging: @kmc1989 @wnbweasley @runawayxheart @backstreetboysfan @star017

Companion piece to:

Scars (NSFW) - Judd and you spend the night together.

Lizard People - Judd worries about your job.

The Night Shift - Judd reassures you about your new role on the nightshift.

Twilight Hours - You and Judd only get the twilight hours together.

24 Hours (NSFW) - Yours and Judd's shifts finally line up.

It’s been a tough shift, one of the worst Judd has ever had and the only thing he wants to do is go home, take a shower and climb into bed. Unfortunately he can’t do that because you’re standing here in the locker room, talking at him because you were there at that last scene when he got in the face of the asshole who set his own house on fire. You were the one who stopped him from punching him out for almost killing his wife and kid.

“Look I really just don’t want to hear it right now.” He snaps as he raises to his feet from the bench he’s been sitting on. “Can you just shut up for five freaking minutes?”

The expression on your face, it’s as if he’s reached out and slapped you because Judd, he doesn’t get angry, not at you.

“OK.” You say holding your hands up and stepping back to give him space. “When you’re ready to talk about what’s really going on with you, you know where I am.”

“Reina,” He implores but you’re already walking away, slamming the door behind you and Judd he’s about to go after you but his phone’s chiming again and in that moment he’s torn because he knows whose on the other end, who’s calling him and that’s the whole reason he’s in this mess.

“Grace.” He says, picking up his phone as he pinches his brow. “Now’s not really a good time.”

Love Judd? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[multimousenette]

bkdkbk longfic recs

for @miss-multifandom-mess, who wanted fics that are:

Long & completed ☑️

Good balance of genres: angst, comedy, romance, the package deal

Accurate bakudeku (as a pair and individually)

Great dynamic 👍

Izuku is not ‘feminized’ or made uwu

I'll give title (linked to the fic) & author, word count, rating, dynamic if relevant*, content warnings, major tags and a synopsis.

I'll also put them in the following categories:

Canon compliant: this does not disagree with canon in any way (eg. character study of Kacchan during dark hero arc, anything during the 8 year time skip that has Kacchan saving up/Deku teaching)

Canon consistent: yeah that could more or less be canon (eg future pro heroes especially where deku keeps OFA)

Canon divergent: something during canon actively changes, but the world is the same (eg. becoming friends in middle school, one of them is on a different course, pro heroes but my gut says it's too far away to be really canon consistent)

Canon adjacent: feels like canon except for one Major Thing (eg. omegaverse, (non-quirk related) hanahaki but still heroes)

Alternate Universe (AU): completely different universe (eg fantasy, sci-fi, or no quirks)

*it ended up being mostly either bkdkbk (ie switching) or dkbk -- I've highlighted these red just in case, but I've included them cos people tend to use bkdk for the ship generally if they don't have a preference, and I couldn't see anything saying you were fixed bkdk on your acc

... and I'll put them below the cut cos this is already so long oh my god

In order of word count (high -> low):

I Will Find You by Purple_Insomniac (174k, T, canon consistent)

CW: Alt universe character death

Major tags: Parallel universes, angst w a happy ending.

Deku disappears in the middle of a rescue mission. Turns out, thanks to some OFA weirdness, the person who sent Izuku into an alternate universe… doesn’t know which one he’s in. Somehow, Izuku and Katsuki can speak in the OFA Vestige Realm, but it’s still a total nightmare trying to find which universe Izuku’s in — let alone bringing him home.

For it is Something That We Lost by TheGraveyardChild (160k, E, top Deku, canon divergent)

CW: past domestic abuse, past child abuse.

Major tags: Kidfic, angst with a happy ending.

Number four pro hero Dynamight returns to his hometown, but — to (number five pro hero) Deku’s surprise — he’s kind of flaky now. Turns out, this is because he has a daughter, and they’ve only just escaped his abusive ex. Slowly, Katsuki and Deku grow close again, but everything’s complicated when they start work on a child kidnapping/trafficking case — especially when Katsuki’s daughter is caught up in it.

Halfway to the Moon (But the Sun is So Bright) by Catsired (105k, T, canon divergent)

CW: Graphic depictions of abuse and self harm; depressed & suicidal Izuku; physically, financially, emotionally and verbally abusive Hisashi; bullying; mild homophobia.

Major tags: Middle School AU, Slow burn, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending.

Izuku has a lot on his plate. It’s his final year of middle school and between his training with All Might, the part time job he’s picked up to help his mum with bills, and Kacchan… being Kacchan, he’s about ready to drop. And then his dad comes home, and his mum is so happy he can’t bear to tell her that Hisashi hits him. Meanwhile, Katsuki notices there’s something up with Shitty Deku and somehow decides it’s his responsibility to fix it. And maybe, as they grow closer, he finds that doesn’t hate Deku so much anymore. Maybe he never really did.

Surprise Reunions and Childhood Rekindlings by ladyofsnails (90k, G, AU)

Major tags: Slice of life, no quirks AU, uni/college AU, mutual pining, FLUFF.

Izuku and Katsuki haven’t seen each other in five years, but it turns out their friends are friends — and incredibly shocked (and concerned) when the first thing Katsuki and Izuku do upon meeting is start roughhousing. The two of them fall straight back into their chaotic childhood dynamic… and in love. Obviously.

After All We’ve Been Through (You get turned into a fucking rabbit) by TigerLilies64 (88k, E, switching, canon consistent).

Major tags: crack treated seriously, fluff, hurt/comfort.

Pro hero Deku gets hit by a quirk that turns him into a rabbit hybrid. To make matters worse, he shapeshifts into an actual rabbit when his heart rate gets too high. Kacchan... helps. 

Tidal Hearts by macksmilesback and SamIsNotLegend (83k, T, AU) 

Major tags: h2o just add water/early 2000s mermaid AU, high school drama, mild angst, fluff.

Izuku and Katsuki were best friends as kids, but that all changes after they nearly drown while swimming in the ocean and Inko moves her and Izuku away. Years later, they reunite, and after Katsuki saves Izuku from a nasty hazing prank, end up… growing a tail any time they get wet. Well, that’s one way to spend their senior year of high school!

The Spell in Her Name by MerryWeatherWeather (62k, E, top Katsuki, canon divergent)

CW: Past OC teacher/student relationship, past minor character death, past child abandonment.

Major tags: kidfic, domestic fluff, mutual pining, angst. 

Pro hero Katsuki returns from working in the US and due to some complications, has nowhere to live, so pitches up at Deku’s house — and is shocked to discover that Deku has a child. Turns out, she was abandoned on his doorstep as a baby, and he took her in. When her mother initiates a public custody battle, Deku will do anything to keep his daughter — and Kacchan will do anything to help.

just for your love (I’ll give you the world) by thwnderpoint (52k, E, top deku, canon consistent)

Major tags: idiots to lovers, (light) angst with a happy ending, mutual pining.

Katsuki confesses to Izuku, and Izuku doesn’t want Kacchan to suffer or feel like he has to hold back his feelings. So he tells him not to. Kacchan takes this offer and runs with it. Izuku quickly realises that while he hadn’t considered Kacchan as a romantic option, he is in fact absolutely in love with him… but Kacchan thinks Izuku deserves better than him. Izuku, of course, can’t let that stand. And now they’re engaged in some sort of psychological flirt-off, much to the dismay of everyone around them.

Photo Op by whitetail (50k, M, top deku, canon adjacent)

CW: transphobia, gender dysphoria

Note: I LOVE the characterisation of Deku, he’s an absolute disaster, but I can see that it might be love it or hate it as the author does exaggerate his social issues a lot. This Deku is explicitly, intentionally autistic and it's a close third person POV so we're very much in his head... which is kind of a mess.

Major tags: trans izuku, autistic izuku, massive simp kacchan, comedy of errors, miscommunication, light angst.

Pro hero Deku has PR crisis after PR crisis and now the whole world knows about his Dynamight thirst blog and he’s newly insecure about his bottom surgery. And for some reason, Kacchan won’t stop asking him (him!!) to join him for a photoshoot, as if Deku’s stupid ugly face won’t ruin everything again. Still, he can’t say no to Kacchan… 

In Another Life by hollyandvice (44k, M, canon consistent)

Major tags: Parallel universes, grief/mourning, angst with a happy ending.

While fighting a villain, Kacchan disappears. Turns out, the villain has a parallel universe swapping quirk, and he was aiming to swap number one hero Deku for a quirkless civilian. Except, the only world the villain could find where Deku isn’t a hero is one where Kacchan is dead — so when Katsuki took the blow, no one swapped with him, and now no one knows how to get him back. Meanwhile, Katsuki discovers a dystopian world where half his friends are dead or injured — not to mention this world’s Deku, who is all sorts of broken up over meeting an adult Kacchan. Will he be able to fix the problems with this world before he gets home? And which world will he choose to stay in?

last days of war by antisora (44k, M, AU)

Major tags: Pacific Rim AU, Sci-Fi/Dystopian, angst with a happy ending, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings.

Note: I've never watched pacific rim and had no issues with understanding what was going on. Author said there were lots of references, but you don't need existing knowledge to enjoy this.

All Izuku’s ever wanted is to save the world with his best friend… but his life doesn’t seem to be headed in that direction, especially when he doesn’t make it through the physical entrance exam for the best Jaeger pilot training school, UA. But after seeing him ace a Kaiju simulation, the world’s greatest ranger, All Might, intervenes, and Izuku is able to enrol at UA after all. Unsurprisingly, Kacchan’s there too — and their drift compatibility is through the roof. Much to Izuku’s dismay, even piloting a Jaeger together isn’t enough to regain their close friendship as children. Will almost dying (twice) be enough for them to finally be truly honest with each other?

The Time Between Our Lives by Fitzrovia (36k (56k inc. sequels), E, switching, canon divergent and AU)

Major tags: Hurt/comfort, angst w a happy ending.

Deku and Kacchan are sent back in time by a villain’s quirk and end up in an abandoned temple, quirkless. In order to escape — and return to their old lives — they must rake the gravel in the garden into a design that shows the beauty of all life. It takes a very, very long time.

Spacewalk by SamIsNotLegend (35k, M, AU)

CW: Major character death

Major tags: Sci-Fi/Horror, angst w a happy ending, grief/mourning.

Astronauts Izuku and Katsuki are set to co-lead the first manned mission to Jupiter… but a year and a half before launch, Izuku is hit by a car and dies. Katsuki has to lead the mission — their mission — alone, and sure enough, everything goes wrong. And keeps going wrong… until it starts going right. 

and a bonus totally-not-a-longfic-but-it-slaps:

Vertigo by Cyhyr (15k, T, canon adjacent)

Major tags: hanahaki, angst with a happy ending.

Pro hero Deku has hanahaki. He makes a plan to run away and just... die (when it gets too severe to keep working), but he didn’t account for Kacchan. 

[lara-cairncross]

Hi! how are you? I hope fine!

I wanted to know if you could recommend me some Mikey angst fanfics. I feel like I've read them all and at the same time I haven't, hehe.

Love your fairy AU its verry beautyful

(My english is not the best 😅)

heya! i'm glad you like the au :D

I can definitely give u some recommendations for michelangelo fanfics! can't guarantee you haven't read them already, but hopefully a few of them are novel. also gonna tag @roronoacoldbrew, @desterea, and @appleblondie0397, cuz y'all asked for some mikey recs too!

I'm not gonna include all my recs, cuz that would take ages, but I DO have a collection on Ao3 that has like, ~250 entries. and they're 90% mikey-centric, sooooo there's a lot more there! it's linked at the bottom of this post :D

i'll be your detonator -> rottmnt, 4k one-shot, oh my god this fic/series deserves so much more attention. bad future timeline, follows Mikey being THE coolest motherfucker while having several mental breakdowns and arguing with Leo and missing his brothers a lot. the writing style of this author is probably my favorite on this entire list-- like, I would read a novel written like this!!! please read it oh my GOD. and then message me to tell me you read it so I can have somebody to talk about it with I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH

atrophy -> 2012, 36k two-shot. ohhhhh boy this one is NOTHING but angst. follows Mikey reflecting on his life and his relationships with his brothers, right before a suicide attempt. second chapter is his brothers reflecting on their relationships with him as they try to save his life. if I'm being honest, the language is a little too flowery for my taste at certain points? but it's also VERY visceral and graphic, and if you're looking for angst this is literally as angsty as it gets!! like seriously check the tags on this one

1660 days ago -> rottmnt, 4k one-shot human au that isn't exactly mikey-centric?? but basically, follows Donnie's POV after he, Raph, and Leo all die in their family home and stay behind as ghosts. Mikey is a little kid who moves in and is the only one who can see them, and they all begrudgingly adore him. ITS SO CUTE AND IT NEEDS MORE ATTENTION PLEASE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

over the rainbow -> 2012 x rottmnt, by @vanillavengeance! I think a lot of people have read their other fic (which is also amazing and definitely recommended), but their most recent one is SO GOOD ALREADY and it deserves more attention. Rise!Mikey opens a portal as a tot, falls straight into the 2012 verse, and gets found by Karai-- so he ends up in the hands of the Foot Clan! SUCH good Mikey angst and the relationship between 2012 Raph and Rise Mikey is absolutely adorable, I love them so much :,) 2012 RAPH IS SUCH A BIG BROTHER AND I WILL NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT

house away from home -> 2012, AuDHD Mikey rep!! and also anxiety and self-esteem issues and dysfunctional family activities and swufhehnfenhhjrr HEY I LOVE THIS FIC but it does. hit a little close to home. REALLY WELL WRITTEN AND FANTASTIC EMOTIONAL ANGST THO! and also Woody is here :D completed, but the author has it listed as 3/4 chapters, so don't be scared off by that!

choose wisely (or at all) -> rottmnt, 8k one-shot, turtle tots!!! this one is SO CUTE omg-- basically, Mikey is his brothers' favorite playmate, but because he's so little all three of them just kinda??? make him play whatever they wanna play? LIKE ok it's hard to explain but it's literally just a fic about little kids messing around and how being the youngest sibling sucks and learning to speak up for urself and it's PERFECT. THIS IS MY COMFORT FIC. its sweet its fluffy its (slightly) angsty and i love it dearly!!!!

stalling -> 2012, 1k one-shot. VERY short but pure Mikey angst. he stays behind to fight Shredder to give his human siblings time to escape and warn the other turtles :,)

walk with open hands -> 2012, 10k two-shot by @goodlucktai. Mikey gets his hands on one of Renet's time-traveling clocks after Splinter dies, and jumps around the timeline to try and save him. takes some really cool cues from Rise!Mikey's powers! GOD I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS FIC ENOUGH. like this altered my brain chemistry the first time I read it.

--actually now that I think about it. basically ANYTHING BY THIS AUTHOR IS AMAZING. so much fantastic 2012 Mikey-centric stuff!!! you do have to go back to their older works, since most of their recent fics have been about Rise Leo-- but it's worth it! a few of my other favorites by them are:

the entire give up the ghost series -> 2012 human au where Donnie dies, Mikey is the only one who can see him, and he becomes a paranormal investigator in college because of it;

problem child -> 2012 human/highschool au that's basically 100k words of the 2012 boys fucking around and being family and overcoming difficulties together and Mikey being the most annoying lovable golden-retriever ray of sunshine to ever exist;

traveling so far to get there -> 2012 one-shot where Mikey and Raph end up in a post-apocalyptic world and just kinda,,, chill? until they don't. idk how to explain it but it's really fun, I love how Mikey and Raph's dynamic is written here :D

either way, we're not alone -> rottmnt, 16k one-shot that takes place over the course of the Kraang invasion in the bad future timeline, all from Mikey's POV. another one that doesn't have NEARLY as many hits as it deserves oh my god-- I love love love fics that take a look at this timeline and how fucked up it was! and this is a rly nice mikey-centric one :)

promise -> rottmnt, 8k two-shot by @dysfunctional-doodle. Listen this author has so many amazing Mikey fics from basically every iteration, BUT. THIS ONE. THIS FIC IN PARTICULAR. IS ABSOLUTELY MY FAVORITE. follows Mikey in the good timeline as he grows his mystic powers, with the caveat that he starts seeing visions of the future. I ain't spoiling anything more than that but GOD plz read this one it makes me insane, and the second chapter??? HEARTBREAKING the angst is 10/10. I also really really love this fic by the same author, so that's another one I recommend checking out if you haven't read it before!

big siblings, big family -> 2012, 2k one-shot. this one's pretty short BUT ITS SO CUTE. Mikey gets sick with a virus that only infects mutants, so all his human siblings get to take care of him-- featuring big brother Casey and big sister April and big sister Karai, and hey. hey what if I screamed. i love this concept so much THOSE ARE HIS BIG SIBLINGS!!! AND HE'S THEIR LITTLE BROTHER!!!! this makes me so happy, not super angsty but Mikey does get REALLY sick so you can count it as hurt/comfort :D

orenjinohana -> rottmnt, currently 120k+ words by @geoblitzz and @urlocalllama!! this fic is SO fucking angsty and delicious and terrifying,,, like I would get sick to my stomach with anxiety whenever a new chapter dropped. Mikey catches the eye of a really dangerous yokai and gets kidnapped, abuse and gaslighting and angst ensue. you gotta be especially careful with the tags/trigger warnings on this one tho-- not gonna spoil too much, but things get dark. this fic isn't complete, but it's reached a very natural end to its first arc in my opinion? so you can finish it without feeling like you've read an incomplete fic :) also check the comment section on every chapter if u wanna see me going insane I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH

the better half of better things -> 2012, 4k one-shot, ITS SO FUCKING CUTE. Mikey and Leo hanging out at 3am, Leo comes out as transfem to Mikey, sibling bonding ensues. this is another author that I LOVE the writing style of, but this time it's more for their humor??? like the comedic timing in their fics is SO GOOD. this fic in particular is my favorite but they've written some really fun Rise ones too! not angsty at all but as the CEO of baja blast duo I needed to include it lmao

wanting, getting, needing -> rottmnt, 2.5k one-shot. Mikey dies saving Leo during the events of the movie, and everything kinda falls apart without him. this one's pretty short but ngl I LOVE this concept, Mikey is always depicted as the heart of the team in every iteration so it's super fun to see what happens when he's no longer there!

remember your mission -> 2012, 60k words. IT'S A FUCKING MIKEY-CENTRIC PACIFIC RIM AU. I love this fic to death. it's got ANGST it's got COMFORT it's got SIBLING BONDING it's got,,,, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. but also the sillies being silly!!! anyway the ending broke me. read this one at ur own risk but like,,, DO ACTUALLY READ IT LMAO and then. once again. yell at me that you did so I can talk to somebody about it. Mikey being able to drift with basically any of his family members??? and the four main boys all being interchangeable because they're just THAT close????? perfection

someone to protect -> 2012, 3k one-shot. Mikey's brothers get turtlenapped during a mission that goes wrong, he gets to be a badass and rescue them, and ends up getting seriously injured in the process. hurt and comfort! yay!

our hearts beat louder (than thunder) -> rottmnt, currently 5k words by @belleyells and still being updated as far as I know! Mikey gets injured during a battle and loses his memory; cue older brothers being worried sick and trying to prevent Mikey from freaking out and being scared of them. I'm so excited to see where this one is going!! it's angsty, but Mikey with memory loss is also just,,, really fun to read about in my opinion ahdhehfhrh

the night at rucker park -> rottmnt, 78k words. Shellshocked fic!!! honestly, one of the few Mikey/Miles fics where I feel like both of them are characterized really accurately? anyway its ~80k words of the two of them falling in love and fucking around and being idiots and-- in Miles' case-- slowly experiencing cellular decay! Yay for angst! I know I keep saying this but GOD I LOVE THIS FIC. IT DESERVES MORE ATTENTION. give it some love plz, it's also one of the only finished Shellshocked multi-chapter fics I could find (coming from somebody who currently has an unfinished multi-chapter Shellshocked fic shhhhhh)

be like your brothers (and never like yourself) -> 2012, 25k words. this is another author who has so many FANTASTIC mikey-centric fics from multiple iterations, but this one is definitely my favorite from them!! Mikey's self-worth is so low that he starts picking up specific traits from each of his brothers in an effort to be more "useful", which. doesn't go very well. very angsty, lots of mikey hurting (emotionally and physically), but also pretty cute at the end! hurt/comfort my beloved mwah <333 I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH something about it itches my brain

feed me poison till i drown -> 2007, 8k one-shot. Leo leaves, everything kinda falls apart, aaaaand Mikey ends up being convinced to join the Foot Clan by Karai! and the eventually his brothers find out and everything goes very terribly wrong. and i love it. the ending is also left up to interpretation, so it's a really cool read! not super angsty, but Karai's mind games leave Mikey as an unreliable narrator, and the breakdown of his relationship with his family is really well done :D plus anything with Karai and Mikey bonding makes me happy sooooooo

trust is earned (not freely given) -> 2007, 2.5k one-shot, from the same author as the previous entry I believe? mikey's brothers slowly realize that something is wrong with him-- they can't read his emotions or his actions anymore, he dodges questions, etc etc. eventually donnie realizes that they fucked up and he doesn't know how to fix it! no real resolution, just angst and dysfunctional families YAY

when you can't sleep at night -> rottmnt, 7k one-shot. follows three separate instances in Mikey's life where he had trouble falling asleep for whatever reason, went to his brothers for help, and got all the sibling love and comfort he deserves :D primarily fluffy but there's definitely some hurt/comfort in here, especially for the part that takes place after the events of the movie! this is another comfort fic for me ahdhehfhher it's just. very cute. and it reminds me SO MUCH of my little brother when he was a toddler SO IT MAKES ME FEEL SAD AND HAPPY AT THE SAME TIME RAHHHHH

so, I guess we all have issues -> 2012, 122k, human au. OH MY GOD. LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN EVERYTHING BY THIS AUTHOR IS SOME OF THE BEST SHIT YOU'LL READ IN THIS FANDOM BUT THIS FIC IN PARTICULAR WAS SOOOOO FUCKING GOOD. super fucking angsty, but also a lot of sibling bonding??? technically found family??? basically, the 2012 boys all get reincarnated as humans, but Mikey is the only one who remembers their past lives and the fact that they're siblings. he goes on this whole journey to find out where Leo and Raph and Donnie ended up (kinda? cuz in the end they all sort of come to HIM instead but yknow), and has to convince them of the fact that they were mutant ninja turtles in a past life. so that's fun! also raph is trans and leo has PTSD and donnie is struggling as a child genius AND ITS SO GOOD AND SO ANGSTY AND SO FLUFFY AND ITS COMPLETED SO THERES NO REASON WHY YOU SHOULDNT READ THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW RAHHHHHH

other fics (specifically mikey-centric) by the same author because i swear to god they're LEGENDARY TO ME:

on the flipside -> rottmnt one-shot where April and the boys get hit with some kind of species-swap spell, and April ends up as a mutant turtle while the boys end up as humans;

exhaust trails through space -> 2012 one-shot where Donnie and Mikey need a fucking vacation from Earth (don't we all), so Donnie gets a spaceship from Bishop and Pb&J duo get to fuck around the cosmos for a few weeks and ignore their problems while actually enjoying each others' company;

(un)reality -> 2012 two-shot where Mikey gets captured by the Kraang during his stint in Dimension X and basically gets brainwashed to the point where he tries to kill his brothers when they finally come for him;

play the fool, pity the fool -> 2012 two-shot with MEGA depressed Mikey, this one in particular is really well written-- his downward spiral into depression, his suicide attempt, and his eventual recovery are all written beautifully and realistically and MMM it's so fucking good;

if i could have it back -> 2012 one-shot human au/apocalypse/zombie au, where Mikey and Donnie get separated from the rest of their family and have to survive long enough to find them again;

these days -> 2012 multichapter, unfinished BUT basically Mikey and Donnie get fed up with the way Leo and Raph are acting after Splinter's death (this fic definitely bashes them a little but it's still a good read), and decide to leave the lair and build their own home away from their dysfunctional family;

division difference -> 2012 multichapter, also sadly unfinished BUT it's about Donnie and Mikey getting separated from Splinter and their brothers as tots and growing up feral-- super intriguing concept, and very well written :DD

the broken and the helper -> rottmnt, 9k words. Mikey playing therapist for literally his whole family except himself and completely burning out. and then his brothers figure that out and talk to him and its all very fluffy and sweet in the end and sometimes that's what i need. not super angsty, but definitely hurt/comfort!

angelo -> rottmnt, 4k one-shot. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MIKEY GETTING THE NICKNAME "ANGELO" FROM LEO BC LEO SEES HIM AS A GUARDIAN ANGEL. baja blast duo fics you have such a special place in my heart (I need more of them) AND THIS ONE IS JUST SO CUTE IM SORRY. a little bit of angst bc of,,,, movie events? but still very cute :)

consuming darkness -> 2012, 68k words. Mikey messes up on a mission and it ends up getting Donnie seriously injured. he gets blamed by his brothers, internalizes it, gets serious with his training and basically becomes this like??? cold-blooded murderer on a revenge mission??? LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN I am. SUCH a lover stories where a character loses/sacrifices everything about their personality to become what they think everyone wants them to be. THIS IS THAT STORY. and then when Raph and Leo realize what's happened to Mikey and have no idea how to "fix" him??? THATS THE GOOD SHIT OH MY GOD. love this fic inject it straight into my veins. on fanfiction.net instead of ao3 (and sadly unfinished), but it's really good for Mikey angst :3

new tricks -> 2012, 3k one-shot, another one from fanfic.net! this one isn't angsty at all, just Mikey and Splinter hanging and bonding together :D I love it though, it's such a cute little fic and very comforting to read ahdhehfhehfhr

no one is alone -> rottmnt, 23k words currently! follows Mikey dealing with everyone's emotional shit after the events of the movie,,,, except his own obviously lmao so he turns to self-harm as a way to relieve stress and anxiety, eventually gets found out, anddddd his brothers help him through recovery :) it's currently unfinished but still being updated as far as I know, and if you want angst, there you go!

temporal differential -> 2012, 7k one-shot. follows Mikey getting stuck in Dimension X for a lot longer than he lets on, and losing hope of his brothers finding him. this one's part of a mini series that kinda revolves around Mikey's time there? and the aftermath? there's a ton of fics that follow this concept but this one isn't tagged very well and doesn't have a lot of hits, so there's a chance you haven't read it if you're looking for new Mikey angst fics to read! plus mikey gets to be smart :333

breakfast for sensei -> 2012, 6.5k one-shot. WHILE WE'RE ON THE TOPIC OF DIMENSION X. this one's about the aftermath!!! AND it has Mikey and Splinter bonding at 3am so I love it so so so dearly. Mikey struggles a lot with nightmares and insomnia after he gets stuck in Dimension X, and eventually opens up to Splinter about his time there and how LONG he was alone and gets some much-needed advice and love. good angst, good comfort, Splinter being a good dad, love love love this one. plus you get a free breakfast recipe! yay!

we'll burn them down -> 2012, 9k one-shot. OKAY LAST ONE ABOUT DIMENSION X I PROMISE. sunset duo focus-- Raph is the first one to figure out that something is off with Mikey, and he's gotta decide how to deal with it! Mikey gets to be a scary badass after surviving alone for so long, Raph gets to be a worried older brother, and Donnie,,,, gets to be there too i guess lmao like i said it's very much a sunset duo fic. enjoy the angst! the hurt/comfort! it's lovely!

empty canvas -> rottmnt, 43k words. I honestly don't remember a lot about this one, BUT Mikey basically takes Leo's place in the prison dimension after opening the portal to get him out?? very very angsty, lots of hurt Mikey! sadly it's unfinished (and it doesn't seem like it'll be updated anytime soon), but what's there definitely qualifies as Mikey angst if that's what you're looking for :) and ofc lots of worried older brothers, which I adore.

--and then ofc, I have a bunch of my own Mikey-centric fics here! I've really only written for Rise so far, but I'm dedicated to mikey angst o7

and like I said, I also have a whole collection on ao3 dedicated just to my favorite TMNT fics! there's genuinely SO MANY MORE I could recommend, but I tried to stick to ones that are older/don't have as many hits?? Kinda?

The rest of my recs would be in this collection! Most are Mikey-centric, but there's a few in there for the other boys too:

for my rottmnt hyperfix | Archive of Our Own

I should warn you though-- I didn't have my collection moderated originally, so people could add their own fics to the collection if they wanted! but then some weirdo Tc*ster ended up adding their shit to it, and I'm pretty sure there's at LEAST one tc*st fic in there somewhere. I've locked it down since then and don't allow outside contributions anymore, but you might wanna filter those tags out :( I contacted ao3 about removing those fics but I never heard anything back. just a warning!!

anyway. hopefully this is helpful for the, like, five people who ALSO feel like they've read every single Mikey fic in existence lmao

[bantambookeater]

Righto, you said you wanted fic recs, here's a bucket-load:

Edwin having chronic pain and/or migraines from Hell Short, sweet payneland: Rotted Bones. Slightly longer payneland: Too hurt and too love. Cystal gets roped into diagnosis, seizures (a fave): Overloaded. Freaky Friday incident, another fave: Can't Jump the Track, We're Cars on a Cable Okay, so these ones are due to Esther more than Hell: to the bone dulcet tones of broken bones (Super-duper heavy angst)(thirteen reasons why inspired) There was at least one more but I cannot find it :( . It had Charles being mad that Edwin didn't tell him for two months. I really loved that one and it's the one I actually thought of when I saw this request.

Crystal finding out more about Hell Both of these are very, very good. no descriptions though, for [spoilers] reasons: lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate In Your Head (Out of Your Mind) (incomplete, but still so good)

Jenny bonding with Edwin (bonus idea: Edwin feels like he can talk about Hell more with Jenny because he sees her as more of an adult - he has trouble talking to Charles and Crystal about it because he wants to protect them) Haven't read/found anything for the bonus, these are both about being queer, but: advice Jenny Green: Butcher, Hot Mess, Reluctant Queer Elder (incomplete but perfect)

Edwin overusing his magic (bonus idea: him having less/weaker magic after Esther's machine)

Cat King and Niko have Manga book club

Fae Edwin or half-fae Edwin …I have half-Endless Edwin? The Lost Boys Detective Agency (ongoing, amazing, a fave) My Boy Builds Coffins

Dragon Edwin or dragon Charles Dragon Edwin! A Treatise on Reproductive Behaviors of Drakonieas-Volcanus (or: how to get knocked up by your dragon husband) (ongoing, much miscommunication, from the title, is going to earn that explicit tag)

The door to Hell at St. Hilarion's was never closed and (for some reason) Sa'al or another demon comes back through it so the boys have to go back.

Edwin found his body hidden in St. Hils and brought it (hidden) to the office in 1990. He makes protection amulets from his bones and gives one to Charles, Crystal, Niko, and Jenny. Cue the horror when they find out, but Charles realizes Edwin gave/trusts them each with a part of himself. Right. So. I don't have anything that's a 100% match, but... For only the first half of this (Edwin found his body hidden in St. Hils and brought it (hidden) to the office in 1990.): A Symbol and a Token And for the vibes of the second half (Edwin making protective amulets out of himself, making everyone else sad): Show Me My Silver Lining And for "Edwin using his dead body"-ness: hands and arms and legs and et cetera, The Many Uses of a Corpse (an absolute fave. Very fucked up though. Marked explicit, but that's the Hell-ness, not sex)

Charles' mom is leaving/just left his dad and ends up working for Jenny's new butcher shop. Edwin invents an enchantment to let the living see ghosts and puts it on a necklace, which ends up with Charles' mom putting it on and seeing Charles. She hangs out at the office/Crystal's/Jenny's/Niko's (same building) apartments and helps make sure the living members of DBD are taken care of

Anyway. Hope that at least some of those are close enough to what you wanted to read!

Fic Ideas I Want to Read

Edwin having chronic pain and/or migraines from Hell

Crystal finding out more about Hell

Jenny bonding with Edwin (bonus idea: Edwin feels like he can talk about Hell more with Jenny because he sees her as more of an adult - he has trouble talking to Charles and Crystal about it because he wants to protect them)

Edwin overusing his magic (bonus idea: him having less/weaker magic after Esther's machine)

Cat King and Niko have Manga book club

Fae Edwin or half-fae Edwin

Dragon Edwin or dragon Charles

The door to Hell at St. Hilarion's was never closed and (for some reason) Sa'al or another demon comes back through it so the boys have to go back.

Edwin found his body hidden in St. Hils and brought it (hidden) to the office in 1990. He makes protection amulets from his bones and gives one to Charles, Crystal, Niko, and Jenny. Cue the horror when they find out, but Charles realizes Edwin gave/trusts them each with a part of himself.

Charles' mom is leaving/just left his dad and ends up working for Jenny's new butcher shop. Edwin invents an enchantment to let the living see ghosts and puts it on a necklace, which ends up with Charles' mom putting it on and seeing Charles. She hangs out at the office/Crystal's/Jenny's/Niko's (same building) apartments and helps make sure the living members of DBD are taken care of

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

out of my league | pedri gonzalez [part ii]

🎓 synopsis: Somehow, you managed to make friends in college – well, more like they reached out to you, and now you’re not alone anymore. As your new friendships pull you out of your shell, Pedri seems to be doing the same, but you’re finding it harder than ever to take the next step and let him in. tags: self-doubt, friends-to-maybe-lovers, emotional vulnerability, overthinking. (written in 2nd person but no mention of yn) | (around 3.6k words)

you can read the first part here.

part 1

"No offense, but when was the last time you took a shower?" Alexia asks, wrinkling her nose a little as she drops her bag onto the library table. You’ve been holed up here for hours, losing track of time, losing track of everything, really. To be fair, you did shower this morning, but looking at your reflection in your laptop screen, you realize you must look like a total disaster. It’s not just the exhaustion that’s etched into your face – it’s the way your hair is doing that weird frizzy thing, and how the stress has drained all the color from your cheeks. You want to sob.

There’s also this thing tonight, when you’re supposed to meet Pedri. A date. Well, not a date – a meeting, you remind yourself, because dates are for people who know what they’re doing. You’ve barely been fulfilling your role as his friend lately, let alone anything more. The thought of facing him in your current state sends a rush of panic through you. But this project... it’s taken over every last corner of your brain, squeezing out even the smallest semblance of self-care.

“You don’t get it, Lexi,” you say, rubbing a hand over your tired eyes, “This project is eating me alive. I can’t think about anything else.”

You feel the tears coming before you can stop them, all the pent-up emotion spilling over as the words catch in your throat. “And I have a meeting with Pedri tonight and I look awful.” Your voice breaks, and now you're full-on crying, fat tears streaming down your face. Alexia laughs, but it’s gentle, as she wipes at your tears with the sleeve of her sweater, the fabric smudging across your cheeks.

“A meeting? Is that what you two are calling it now?” she teases.

“Please don't make fun of me right now,” you hiccup, “I’m seriously having a breakdown.”

“You’re not having a breakdown, okay? You’re just tired, probably hungry, and, yeah, you look like a mess, that’s all!” Alexia says, giving you a warm, reassuring smile.

"Do you think I should cancel with him?" you ask between sobs.

"I don't know, baby. What do you want?"

You think about it, really think. All you want right now is a long, hot bath, a warm plate of food, and to binge some mindless Netflix series. The idea of pretending to be put-together tonight feels like more than you can handle.

“Yeah, I think I need some time off tonight,” you say slowly. You look at Alexia, suddenly struck by how composed she looks. Even though you’re in the same class, dealing with the same workload, she always seems to keep her cool. Meanwhile, you’re pretty sure the rest of your study group is scattered across campus in various states of meltdown, just like you. “How come you don’t look like shit, huh?”

“I think it’s because I just don’t care,” she says with a shrug. “It’s just college, you know? I’m not going to let this kill me.”

“You’re crazy,” you mutter, pointing your pen at her face. “But thank you… I guess, for telling me I need a break.”

“Anytime,” she says, beaming at you. “I got you!”

You take a shaky breath and start cleaning your nose with a tissue, already feeling better.

part 2

You stumble into your dorm room, dropping your bag on the floor and collapsing face-first onto your bed. After a few moments, you roll over, sighing as you pull out your phone. You know you have to cancel tonight, but the thought of disappointing Pedri makes your chest feel heavy.

You type out a quick message before you can second-guess yourself:

You: 

I know we were supposed to meet tonight, but I’m honestly so drained. 

Hey... 

You hit send and toss your phone aside, staring at the ceiling, feeling guilty and relieved all at once. You almost jump when your phone buzzes a second later.

I think I just need to stay in and rest.

Pedri: 

I get it, don’t worry about it!

You hesitate before replying.

Are you okay?

You: 

Yeah, just really overwhelmed. 

There’s a long pause before his response comes through, and you wonder if he’s upset. But when you pick up your phone, you see his message:

It’s been a week, you know?

Pedri:

Can I do anything to help? Bring you food or something? 

His offer feels genuine and, weirdly, like a weight lifting off your shoulders. You think about it for a second and realize that, despite everything, you don’t want to be completely alone tonight.

I don’t have to stay if you don’t want, just wanna make sure you’re alright.

You: 

Takeout sounds nice. 

I was thinking about just eating junk food and watching movies. 

Nothing fancy.

Pedri: 

I can pick up your favorite and come over? 

Promise I won’t be trouble. 

I’ll just hang out and keep you company if you want. 

Or I can go after dropping off the food. 

There’s something so comforting in his willingness to let you set the tone. You don’t feel pressured, just… cared for. 

Whatever you need.

You: 

Okay. 

Pedri: 

That sounds good. 

Deal. 

I’ll be there in 30. 

Thanks, Pedri. Really.

You: 

You’ve got some time before Pedri gets here, and you decide to make the most of it. It’s Friday night, your roommate’s out, and for once, you have the room to yourself. You push yourself off the bed and head to the bathroom, there’s no time for a full transformation, but you want to feel a little more put-together.

Back in your room, you search for your comfiest pajamas, cute enough that you don’t feel completely bedraggled. You slip them on, pairing them with some fuzzy socks. 

You survey the room; it’s not a complete mess, but it’s far from inviting. Your bed, unmade and a little dull, catches your eye. You grab your favorite blanket and spread it over the bed. The cozy texture instantly brightens the space. Next, you light the lavender-scented candle your mom sent you last semester. 

The laptop goes on the end of the bed, positioned so that two people can comfortably watch a movie together. You prop up a couple of pillows, creating a small nest that you hope will make you feel more at ease when Pedri gets here. You settle on the bed, drawing the blanket over your lap as you scroll mindlessly through your streaming service’s list of comfort movies.

A few minutes later you hear a soft knock on your door and you’re already halfway to the door before you even realize you’ve moved. You pause for a second, taking one last steadying breath, before you open it.

Pedri is standing there, a takeout bag in one hand and a warm smile on his face. He's dressed down, just a hoodie and sweats, and something about the way he looks makes the weight in your chest ease a little. "Hi," he says softly, eyes scanning your face with curiosity.

"Hi," you reply, a little embarrassed by how relieved you are to see him. You step back, letting him in, and he walks past you into the room, setting the takeout down on your desk.

"I brought Thai," he says, holding up the bag with a small grin. "Figured you could use something comforting. I got that spicy noodle dish you like, and a few other things in case you’re not up for it."

You smile, genuinely this time, the warmth spreading through you as you shut the door behind him. “Thanks. That sounds perfect.”

Pedri looks around the room, noticing the little effort you put into making it feel cozy, and his smile softens. "You did all this for me?" he teases gently, nodding toward the candles and the freshly arranged bed.

You roll your eyes, but you can’t help the small laugh that escapes. "I did it for me, actually. But... I guess you can enjoy it too."

He kicks off his sneakers and sinks onto the bed, pulling out the takeout containers while you sit beside him, feeling the tension in your shoulders start to ease. He’s careful not to invade your space, giving you a little room to breathe, even though you can tell he’s itching to comfort you more.

"So," he says, settling back against the pillows, "what’s the movie for tonight? I’m good with whatever. Just don’t make me cry, okay?"

It’s silly, you know – you two have spent hours talking about your favorite movies, music, and everything in between. Still, there's a part of you that worries about whether he’ll like what you like, whether you’re cool enough in his eyes. Letting him see more of who you are makes you feel oddly exposed. “Actually... my comfort movie is The Terminator, but we can watch something else if you want,” you mumble, trying to sound casual.

Pedri’s eyebrows lift, genuinely surprised. “Terminator? I’ve never seen it.”

Your jaw drops. “What?? Have you been living under a rock?” you exclaim, forgetting your nervousness in the heat of the moment. He laughs, his eyes lighting up, clearly enjoying your reaction.

"Nope, just never got around to it, I guess. I mean, I know it's a classic, but... never seen it," he says, still grinning at your shock.

“Well, we have to watch it now,” you say, more certain than you’ve been all night. "It’s not negotiable."

“Alright, alright,” he agrees easily, shifting to get more comfortable against the pillows. “I trust your judgment.”

There’s a moment, just before you press play, where you’re hyper-aware of how close he is. It’s strange because you’ve never been alone together like this in your room – just the two of you, no distractions, no other friends around to keep things light. You’re both taking things slow, or maybe you’re not taking them anywhere at all. You’ve never really talked about what this is. You just hang out. Sometimes you kiss, sometimes you don’t, but you never ask what it means. Right now, you don’t have a clue where you stand with him or if this is going somewhere.

You press play. Pedri leans back, focused on the screen, and you steal a glance at him, trying to gauge his reaction. But he’s not making fun of you; he’s not rolling his eyes or pretending to be interested. He’s just... watching. And somehow, that feels like a win.

Halfway through the movie, you’re both more relaxed. Pedri’s arm is draped casually over the back of the bed, and you’re leaning just a bit closer to him. The takeout is mostly gone, the containers pushed to the side, and he’s actually into the movie – asking you little questions about the plot and why it’s your favorite. 

He gives you a soft kiss on the temple, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He doesn’t even look at you when he does it; it's absent-minded, like he’s barely aware of it. But you feel it intensely. Your heart kicks up, and suddenly, the movie’s just background noise – your mind is spinning. You feel the space between you both close in, shrinking to nothing.

You’re not a virgin, but you might as well be. Your experience was limited – just a couple of times with your first and last boyfriend, back in high school. 

With Pedri, things have always felt... safe. But that simple, soft peck on your temple makes you acutely aware that you just invited a boy into your room, alone, on a Friday night. 

Is that why he’s been hanging around for so long? 

You hear Melanie’s voice in your head, mocking you, saying he’d get bored in a month and go crawling back to her. Before you even realize what you’re doing, you shift away from him, putting space between you two. Your heart pounds as you look at him, waiting for a reaction, and he turns to you, eyes widening with instant understanding. He knows. Just by the way you’ve moved, he knows exactly what’s going through your mind.

“Oh –” Pedri’s face goes pale, his voice panicked. “I didn’t mean... I wasn’t thinking, I swear!” He sounds as terrified as you feel.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he rushes to say, his words stumbling over each other. “I’m sorry, I –” He stops, takes a breath, and tries again, his tone softer, more careful. “I really didn’t mean anything by it. I wasn’t trying to –”

“It’s fine,” you cut him off, your voice shaky. But it's not fine, not really. You're suddenly too aware of your bare legs under the blanket, of the dim lighting, of how you’ve made your room just a little bit cozier, a little more inviting than usual.

Pedri watches you closely, his expression open, almost pleading. “I’m not here for that, okay? I mean it. I just wanted to hang out, like we always do. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

His eyes are sincere, his voice steady now, and you realize he’s waiting for you to make the call, to decide what happens next. He’s not pressuring you, not pushing. He’s giving you a lifeline, a way back to whatever this was before you started overthinking.

“Okay,” you say, nodding. 

“Do you want me to go?” he asks quietly, and you hate how sad he sounds.

“Yes,” you say, your voice breaking a little. “I’m so sorry. It’s not you, it’s…” You trail off. It’s you. You’re the one who felt your body light up when his lips brushed your temple, the one whose thoughts went straight to sex. Your face burns, a blush spreading hot and fast, making you feel like you’re stumbling back into the awkwardness of puberty. A simple peck, and suddenly you’re overwhelmed, spiraling.

Pedri, who’s always been so good at reading you, catches it all. His eyes widen even more, and you almost laugh at how surprised he looks. But this isn't funny to you. You don’t want him to see you like this, so, so... well, horny. “It’s me, okay? And I...” You struggle to find the right words, your heart racing. “Can you just... can you leave?”

His eyes stay fixed on you, lost somewhere between fascination and panic. You can see it – how he's immersed in the way your face is flushed, in the way you're struggling to catch your breath. He's seeing you in a way he never has before, and part of him likes it – likes that you want him this much, likes that he has this effect on you. But the other half of him is scared, almost as much as you are.

“Um... yes,” he says. He’s nodding, almost on autopilot, his eyes never leaving your face. It’s like he’s drinking in every detail, storing this moment away – the vulnerability in your expression, the way your eyes struggle to meet his. You see the flicker of conflict in his eyes, and it’s not just because he doesn’t want to leave. It’s because seeing you like this makes him want to give you everything, to do whatever you want, forever.

But he knows what you’re asking, and he’s not going to push.

“Yeah, I’ll leave,” he repeats, his words slow and careful like he’s reassuring himself as much as he’s reassuring you. 

He stands there for a second longer, just looking at you, his thoughts a mess of confusion and desire. There’s a moment you think he’s going to stay – going to ignore what you asked and sit back down beside you.

But he doesn’t. He turns, slowly, his eyes lingering on you until the very last moment, afraid to look away. He takes a breath, nodding to himself like he’s coming to a decision, and then he opens the door.

“Okay,” he says one last time, and there’s a small, bittersweet smile tugging at his lips. “Goodnight.” His voice is so gentle, and the sound of it almost makes you want to cry.

He steps out, closing the door behind him with a soft click, and you’re left alone. You just sit there, staring at the door.

part 3

Ana is telling you and Alexia about her latest rendezvous, this boy from computer science who rocked her world Friday night. It's Monday, and you're just staring at a wall as she talks, wanting to disappear. She’s being quite graphic, and when she notices your reaction, she stops mid-sentence and gives you a weird look.

“You're being weird,” she points out. “Wait. Am I being weird? Is it weird for me to say things like that?”

You shake your head, shifting your gaze to the ceiling instead, feeling the familiar creep of anxiety settling in.

“No. No. I'm weird, you were right the first time.”

“We all know that everyone at this table is weird,” Alexia chimes in. You're at the café you like so much – the one where you first met Pedri. You brought your friends here once, and now it’s become the go-to hangout spot for your group, which is nice... but you kind of miss coming here alone. It used to be your sad, quiet space, where you could brood without anyone pointing it out. Now, you have to deal with their curious stares and concerned comments.

“But now you're both being weirder than usual,” Alexia says, turning back to Ana. “Seriously, Ana, you had sex with Carlos? The guy with the Twitter account for his birds? And you...” She points at you. “What's up with you?”

“Nothing,” you mutter, waving a hand vaguely. “I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh,” Alexia says, clearly not buying it, and Ana just raises her eyebrows like she’s waiting for the real answer to come out. They’re both staring at you now, and you wish the floor would open up and swallow you whole.

“Seriously, I’m just... tired,” you say, but the way Alexia’s lips twist into a knowing smile tells you that she’s already seen right through you.

“Tired,” she repeats, in that sarcastic tone that makes you feel about three inches tall.

“You’re always tired,” Ana adds. “But this is a new level of tired. Like, existential crisis tired.” She’s still sipping her iced coffee as if she’s discussing the weather, which makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time.

You take a deep breath, trying to pull yourself together, but all you can think about is Pedri’s face when he left your room – the way he looked at you like he was trying to memorize every inch of your expression. It’s been looping in your mind ever since, making it hard to focus on anything else.

“I don’t know,” you admit finally, “I just... had a weird weekend.”

Ana narrows her eyes, leaning in conspiratorially. “Weird how?” she asks. “Like my Friday night weird or... your kind of weird?”

Your face flushes at the mention of her Friday night, but you just shake your head again. “No, not like that,” you say, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “Just... complicated.”

There’s a long, loaded silence before Alexia’s face softens, like she’s pieced something together in her head. “Oh,” she says quietly. “Is this about him?”

You don’t say anything, but your silence must give you away because Ana’s face lights up in recognition. “Oh my God,” she says, practically bouncing in her seat. “Did something happen with Pedri?”

“No!” you say, maybe a little too quickly, but they’re already grinning like they know all your secrets.

“Something definitely happened,” Alexia says, giving you a playful nudge. “Spill. Now.”

You sigh, realizing you’re not getting out of this, and you tell them – about the movie, about how everything had felt fine until it suddenly wasn’t, about how Pedri had left with that sad, confused look on his face. You don’t tell them how much it’s been bothering you, though. How you keep replaying the way he said “Goodnight” in your head like it means more than it should.

Ana and Alexia listen in silence, for once not interrupting with their usual commentary, and when you’re done, there’s a heavy pause.

“So...” Ana says slowly, “you freaked out because he kissed you? That’s it?”

You wince, feeling the words hit a little too close to home. “Yeah,” you say quietly. “I freaked out.”

“Well, what did you expect?” Alexia asks, not unkindly. “He likes you, you like him, and you invited him over. What did you think was going to happen?”

“I don’t know!” you say, feeling defensive. “I just – he’s Pedri. And I’m... me. It’s complicated, okay?”

“Everything’s complicated with you,” Ana says, rolling her eyes but smiling at the same time. “You know what I think? I think you need to stop overthinking and just go for it. If you want him, go get him. If you don’t, then stop torturing yourself about it.”

“It’s not that simple,” you say, but even as you do, you can feel a tiny part of you wanting to believe that maybe it could be.

“Well, it should be,” Alexia says, giving you a knowing look. “I’m just saying – life’s too short to sit around being sad in a café about a guy who clearly cares about you.”

You open your mouth to argue, but the words get stuck in your throat. Maybe they’re right. Maybe you’ve been making this all harder than it needs to be. But that doesn’t make it any less terrifying.

“Just... think about it,” Ana says, giving your arm a gentle squeeze. “And don’t do that thing where you talk yourself out of being happy, okay?”

[vvivacious101]

Rewatching RWRB ALREADY?!

I rewatched the film. And, I can say this for a fact that I liked it a whole lot more the second time around and I already liked it the first time around but watching it for the second time made me appreciate it a whole lot more!

This has never happened in my life, I have never rewatched a movie in a single day! So, RWRB is making my personal history as well.

I remember the director mentioning the fact that Nick or Taylor are in every scene of this movie and they really are! They really carried this film.

Under the cut are all my thoughts that I had while rewatching this movie for the second time. There are spoilers galore. So, you have been warned!

Also, if you make a drinking game out of every time I use the word 'good' you will be dead by the time you reach the end!

With all that out of the way, let's get into it!

"When the revolution happens it will be because of this wedding." Henry's first line in the movie is so underrated!

Cake-gate is AMAZING! I love the fact that Henry pushes Alex down while getting up! Poor guy deserves a little revenge. I had never heard the song ‘Bad Reputation’ before but I'm in love with it!!

Everyone who said Zahra is the BEST thing in this movie is right. I can't get over her railing Alex with a pillow.

“What if I set myself on fire?” Alex is the king of comebacks! “We'd ship the ashes to Heathrow.” But no one is getting one over Zahra.

Taylor as Alex is so good! I can't get over how perfect he is!! Also, I love how Henry is just upstaging Alex in the damage control portion of this movie. Like, Henry's revenge arc is not over yet!!

I feel bad for Alex, every time he tries to one-up someone he just ends up backing himself into the corner.

Okay, the CLOSET SCENE AKA ONE OF THE ONLY SCENES THAT I REMEMBER FROM THE BOOK IS EPIC!!!

The beginning of it with them flailing around is peak physical comedy and then Henry just casually admits to smelling Alex... it's too much and it's only starting.

I just love how Taylor fidgets in this scene, he is like trying to find space for himself so badly but when he turns to confront Henry that moment is so good!

“I need to get out of here.” Ugh, I feel for Henry.

Okay the threat neutralized bit is comedy gold. I hope it becomes a viral meme!

We need to talk about Oscar. There is something very weird about Alex's parents. I feel like the writers of the film were very conflicted about their relationship and instead of having them be together or be divorced, they just left them in limbo. We never see Ellen and Oscar interact in the film. In the one scene, they do appear together, Alex is in the middle and it feels weirdly symbolic like he is literally the thing keeping them together.

We need to talk about this coffee shop scene. We all hate Miguel. But seeing Taylor as Alex in this scene is everything. He comes across as so charismatic and gorgeous. Just look at him!

We have got to talk about how many strong female role models Alex has in his life – his mom, Amy, Zahra even, Nora.

Zahra literally puts on a lot of hats in Alex’s life. She is like his big sister, substitute mom and friend and she does all this while looking supremely put out with Alex. This one’s a multitasker.

This is what I actually want to do in parties!

Henry is so awkward, I love how squeaky he sounds when he first meets Alex at the New Year Eve's party, poor boy is so awkward. And, then when he gets left alone he just completely shuts down. Henry, I love you!

I love how Alex just pulls Henry onto the dance floor.

Henry isn’t even dancing he is just getting progressively more drunk and flustered.

Henry looks so devastated in this scene. I literally feel for him. But, I can’t get over the fact that the song playing in the background is 'Magic' originally sung by Selena Gomez for Wizards of Waverly Place the movie. I loved hearing it here even though they are using a remix in this instance.

Their first kiss is so GOOD! I have seen it umpteenth number of times thanks to the trailer but it hits me in the feels every time. Also, I love how panicked Henry is and how shocked Alex is after the kiss.

“More like the first 50 rows of a Gaga concert kinda gay” is absolutely sending me. Also, accurate AF.

Not Alex being completely distracted by the sight of Henry!

Amy and Alex's moments are so GOOD! I really love the casting for Amy!!

IMHO all of Amy and Alex’s scenes should become viral memes, they are all so good!!

This entire RED ROOM sequence is so epic with Alex trying to decide how he should be standing when Henry comes in, to the ending when Amy barges in and Henry starts looking at the books so intently and whatever the hell Alex is trying to do. Oh god!

Like Stonehenge!!! (IYKYK)

Poor maypoles. I really love this scene. There is a reason we got a teaser for it, their chemistry in this one is off the charts!!!

This kiss is my absolute favourite no wait isn't the bicep kiss my favourite but this one is up there. It's so good. The way he pushes Alex and kisses his smile and then stares at him. Ugh so so so good! This teaser might have come close to the trailer in how many times I watched it and you may remember that the trailer came way earlier.

Oh god, Henry is so goddamn happy and SMUG as he says, "Yeah, agreed". He literally goes through every emotion under the Sun in this movie.

Wait a minute! WAIT A MINUTE! I didn't realise this the first time around but as Henry stands in the doorway he seems to be taking a mental picture of Alex and HOTDAMN. Fodder for the spank bank apparently.

The cafe scene is so good. The banter, the eye contact, the flirting, the blushing!!!

"And I thought Alexander Gabriel Claremont-Diaz was a mouthful." "He is."

Oh God! So good!!

"Only momentarily", that scene is so angsty. When Henry flinches it is its own goddamn scene!

I really like the "I'm so not playing this cool right now" moment. His apprehension is so delicious. I'm sorry Alex but it is and when he just puts his head down on Henry's shoulder in defeat. So good!

Let's talk about the sex scene! It is better than I remembered. I really like the kiss they share after Henry tells him that most people are wrong about him. And the thing with the hands. Listen I read a post about it being an old Hollywood thing but man if this is an old Hollywood trick it was masterfully employed. I just loved their hands and how Alex's hand is going down to meet his (imitating penetration) and then how Henry's hand opens up (imitating release) followed by the withdrawal of Alex's hand. This is genius why did people stop doing this! Also, Nick's expressions in the penetration scene are so goddamn... WOW. I don't know how to describe them but holy shit that is some explicit stuff. But what I think I love the most regarding this scene is how intimate it feels like the camera almost feels like an intrusion on a very very private moment because the scene itself seems to depict an intimacy between these two characters that is beyond just sex.

Also, RIGID. IYKYK!

I have got to give it to Taylor he really held his own in this scene with Uma Thurman. Like WOW!

Okay, wait there is another scene with Alex and his parents which I completely blanked out but it still leaves me with the same sentiment regarding the state of his parent's marriage.

Say it with me! Happy Henry is my serotonin!

Zahra really lays into Alex and Henry. "Little Lord Fuckleroy!" WTH! Henry's expression at the end of it all is so good!

This scene between Alex and Ellen is so heartwarming. I think it might be their best scene together. I love how there is this implication that things aren't right as Ellen picks up the phone but then it's undercut by the fact that she is only ordering pizza. I love how Alex's uncertainty over his mother reacting negatively is undercut by her acceptance.

The moment on the lake is probably my favourite part of this movie because it highlights the fundamental difference in Alex and Henry's positions.

Henry's situation isn't time-dependent or a for-now problem it is a forever thing and Nick's expressions in this scene are heartbreaking. But, despite where it ends up going I really love their interactions as the scene starts. Alex and Henry are so happy and touchy-feely. I just love the intimacy of this moment even though it leads to heartbreak.

Also, Henry jumping into the lake to escape a love confession is a whole-ass mood.

So someone pointed out that the transition from Henry's bedroom to the V&A is a bit iffy and it is. It totally is. I also don't know if I get what point Henry is trying to make with the whole trading one prison for another thing but the ending still makes the whole rift come together. I really want to know how this is handled in the book because I need clarification on the minutiae of this scene and how it came to be.

We have seen Henry and Alex in the same bed atleast three times now and this third time is the best. I love how Alex is holding Henry's wrist and how Henry smiles his little smile.

Henry is really conflicted at this tarmac, isn't he? And, things are just going to get worse.

I really like Alex's speech and how it's intercut with scenes of Henry literally trying to make himself smaller followed by scenes between Alex and Heney that we haven't seen so far. I especially like the last scene in the woods. Did I mention happy Henry is my serotonin?!

I really love Zahra's expressions in this scene. Zahra and Alex have some of the best scenes. These two really play very well off of one another.

The scene when Alex calls Henry baby. I remember reading someone say that they wanted this thing to be a whole ass thing and it was. It was a thing. I love how they utilised this endearment to further this moment.

This piano scene is so beautiful. These two really love each other.

I really like how Alex picks up Henry's nervous habit of fiddling with his ring.

So, we are here on election night and I just love the scene in the hallway with Alex and Henry and that hug. It's so damn cute and wholesome.

I really like the ending of the movie. It's kind of a nice allusion to Henry and Alex having a home together.

I really also love the end credits with the actors' names because in the end you have Nick and Taylor and you can see them playing with their pinkies. This scene is actually in the movie it's only that when it appears in the movie you are distracted by everything happening with the King. But, it is positively the cutest thing ever.

Also, the end credit scene. "Do you think anyone noticed?" You betcha Alex we did!!

[destinywillowleaf]

one of a kind living in a world gone plastic

baby you're so classic

@most-tragic-character-tournament

(all my thoughts in the tags)

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

[smile-files]

i thought it would be nice to share two projects i made in art class this semester!

title: angel of change

this one's a fun collage/sculpture about the positive and negative changes one can go through when starting college! featuring a nervous little peg person on the road, a surge of waves, and a biblically accurate pet rock angel smoking a cigarette

title: wing surfaces of morpho didius

and this is a sculpture of a morpho butterfly! with its ventral wing surfaces (the visible side of the wings) painted realistically, and with its dorsal wing surfaces (the hidden side of the wings) covered with messily-colored butterfly coloring book pages. the idea here is that my fascination with butterflies, despite being very scientific now, is still one imbued with naïveté, playfulness, and childlike wonder :)

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

also, like, some perspective to soothe my own brain: season four happened in the craziest two weeks of everybody’s life. not much even really happened that was that significant, for all the big emotions. they called a presidential election that probably won’t go the way they called it. the deal went through like logan wanted it to, which is really no big; the kids just got so swept up in the idea of stopping it because trying to tank the deal was a way to try to keep their father with them, a way to try to keep themselves the same people they were -- or wanted to be -- in their father’s eyes. everything they did was pretty futile.

and, like, roman and gerri had some bad fights within a tense two weeks. but the whole thing with succession is that there are always those moments where you’re like “oh my god. i can’t see how these characters can possibly come back from this. their relationship is OVER.” and then in the next episode, they’re interacting like normal again. because that’s the toxic family bubble! that’s the rollercoaster! that’s the mess! that’s the norm for these people and it always has been!

so i feel like realistically, season four was less “roman and gerri are over forever” and more “roman and gerri had a bad fortnight where they were both grieving and exhausted and emotionally insane and he fired her twice and she threatened to sue him and release his dickpics to the world but also they miss each other and look at each other tenderly from afar and roman and gerri will probably just keep being roman and gerri when the dust settles.” i don’t think big dramatic relationship endings are really a thing on this show, even when they maybe should be. (coughtomshivcough) one thing that i liked about the finale was the suggestion that it was specifically the end of the “who’s going to be the next ceo?” story, not the end of the roys* and the other characters, and they’ll all probably just kind of carry on being themselves and doing what they do. and for me, that in part means roman and gerri continuing to cross paths and do their weird little thing.

*except maybe kendall idk man D:

[another-clive-blog]

Alright, next poll !! =)

Precising :

By staged, I mean that it was somewhat planned and/or fake

Cons :

We know that Bostro is loyal to Dimitri and not Clive. The shooting was also not very controlled and almost hurt/killed people many times. + I don't know if it's the same in English but in French Bostro says to "Catch them" before they start shooting soooo misunderstanding??? Doesn't make sense tbh

Pros : On the other hand, there were Clive's minions among Bostro's men. Clive was also the one to choose the casino where we coincidentally met the mafia. We can also suppose that this event may better sell the idea of a "dangerous Future London" to Luke and Layton.

[tommybubblesbuck]

a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"

i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now

[shiraishi--kanade]

hi feel free not to answer this but you're one of the only chronically ill people i know and i probably need to get my blood drawn because i am having Many Issues but i am. super afraid of needles. so basically the question is are needles that draw blood like,, really big? do they hurt a lot? sorry this is probably a dumb question im just terrified auhfguhgahhf

No worries! And in my experience, no not really! My blood draws never really hurt; it's about the same feeling like if your leg falls asleep pins and needles sensations, but only for a split second when the needle comes in and out. If done correctly, you won't feel anything during the actual process, maybe just a bit dizzy & numb. It may sting for a while after the draw (mine still does) but it's really really minor, you probably won't even notice it much. It may also bruise; it's pretty normal too.

The size of the needle varies, though, so here's a word of advice: search out for a more modern, accomodating hospital/lab, and a nurse who works with pediatrics patients, if you can (regardless of your actual age, they are just chiller about anxious people in general imo). Fear of needles is super common and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about (I actually do well with blood draws but I'm Not Good with IVs and injections, the latter ones moreso than the former), so there is a solid chance they can accommodate you by using a smaller needle or/and local anesthetic (thought I think the last one is... Rarer. My dentist did it, but that man is a force of his own. I don't know how many of his practises are like... Normal).

Getting a good nurse that puts you at ease is so, so important. I cannot overstate it. I don't mean to make this sound bad but I can't lie either, if they mess up, can't find your vein, or just generally suck & rush you & make you feel stupid for asking for accomodations, get up and Leave. Because messed up draws do hurt (not too much, though! I'd say it's comparable to like... Accidentally biting your tongue kinda hurt). I only had one bad experience and I never went to that nurse again.

In general though: the needle probably isn't as big as you think it'd be, it's smaller than the injection ones usually, and you can ask for a smaller one; it doesn't hurt! Actually when I first got my blood drawn from my vein at 10 or so, I was like, wait, that's it? Because of a stupid policy my hospital usually only took blood from the fingertips for kids (don't ask. I don't get it either), and oh god, that hurt Much More than the "adult" one. I was so relieved after being scared out of my mind three minutes earlier. You don't have as much sensation in that area as you for in your fingertips, so if you ever had a papercut and want to compare: papercut hurts more & for longer than the blood draw does.

Good luck to you!! I hope you figure whatever's going on haha. Remember to drink water before the draw to make everyone's lives easier if it comes down to it!

[sophieswundergarten]

I can't stop thinking about that Wing AU and Sticky plucking his feathers...

(Weird, angsty ramblings that might require some knowledge of bird anatomy to fully understand to follow)

(Basically, when birds grow feathers they start as "blood feathers" which are basically just little sacks of blood and growing cells. After this, they are "pin feathers", and the blood is all inside where it belongs, leaving the feather all rolled up and covered in this papery stuff that rubs off and leaves a fully grown feather. Also, Primaries are the big "pointer finger" feathers at the tip of the wings, Secondaries are the medium sized ones from the "wrist" joint to the "elbow", where they get smaller and are referred to as Tertiaries. That should be it :>)

Because, in real life, it's quite common in pet psittacines (Parrots: so, macaws, cockatoos, budgies, lovebirds, etc.) especially when they are stressed. And it can get out of control really fast and take a long time to train the bird out of even though it's very obviously hurting it.

And I just keep thinking about how young he was when he started being on TV. And for a while the fluffy little baby feathers were cute but an entertainment industry seeking engagement instead of connection demanded he grow up too fast.

And so the make-up/wardrobe department for any competition he was on started pulling some of the downy feathers. There weren't that many left at this point regardless, but they assured him it would make him seem more mature and appeal to a wider audience. And it would be fine, it wouldn't really hurt him, especially since he was growing in big feathers anyway.

So it went. With Sticky being so self-conscious and anxious anyway, he probably kept his wings tucked in tight behind him no matter what people thought about them.

He had never put that much consideration into how he looked, but now he can't stop thinking about it. He doesn't know why it's so important, but apparently it matters to people. He doesn't want it to matter. He doesn't want to be seen or recognised. He just wants to be left alone.

He starts fidgeting with the pin feathers that will one day unfurl into adult primaries, and even though he knows it's counter-intuitive because removing the casings will only free the feathers sooner, he can't help it. A few times he goes too far and starts picking at blood feathers, and even though the red coats his finger tips more often than he'd like, he still can't stop his hands from scratching and pulling and yanking as he grows more and more agitated.

And then he ran away

He ran and he couldn't keep his hands off his wings for more than a few minutes. Tugging and raking his fingers through the feathers in a futile attempt to calm down. The first couple of times, it's an accident.

The first couple of times he's so caught up in soundless panic and all he can hear is his own breathing, it's only later that he notices a small cluster of secondaries, close to his body and almost never seen with how rigidly he holds himself, are missing. Small pieces of the night sky littering the alleyway ground where he'd been hiding.

His wings are so dark in colour, not to mention unkempt after a few weeks hiding and running and flitting from place to place trying to find safety, that the other kids don't even notice anything wrong.

It isn't until a few days later, when they're all in the backyard attempting to practice their Morse Code, and Kate does something that startles him that they really see what kind of a state his wings are in.

Most birds, when scared or on edge, will carefully spread their wings. Maybe not a lot, but they are preparing to fly away or make themselves look bigger in hopes to scare off the threat. (I imagine Milligan having great big owl wings that he puffs up to try and guard the children when the Recruiters come after them in the maze)

But Sticky just draws them in closer to his body. When he is scared, which Constance would note is often, he holds his wings so tightly to his back that they seem half their size. This would be considered odd and in some ways handicapping himself or keeping him from being able to react properly.

But this time, as Kate wobbles unstably out of her cartwheel and lets out a shriek of laughter, landing on the ground right next to him, Sticky jumps. He starts off the bench he had been sitting on, hunching his shoulders and reflexively spreading his wings.

And instead of the fully extended mix of fully grown flight feathers and occasionally wayward piece of down the other kids have, Sticky's wings are a mess. They have a skeletal quality, with just enough plumage that when they are folded in it's hardly noticeable, but when they are extended it's clear there are significant gaps. The remaining feathers have the dull, stunted quality of someone who has been under an incredible amount of stress without nearly enough nutrients to fuel them, and indeed Sticky looks rather like a feral cat in that moment: Spooked and curling in on himself as if expecting a fight.

He quickly realises his overreaction, and then processes that the girls are staring at his wings (Reynie's eye did dart up, but quickly returned to looking at Sticky's face), so he jerks them back into a resting position. Though there's nothing particularly restful about how stiff his posture is, back ramrod straight and muscles so tight he's beginning to shake.

However, this is something that the others know he doesn't want to share yet. And he doesn't need to. Not until he's ready.

So, Kate grabs the flashlight from where it had fallen to the ground, a sheepish grin on her face as she apologises for scaring him.

Reynie suggests they all go inside, take a break and get something to eat before they begin again.

Constance glares at Sticky suspiciously, but right as she opens her mouth she seems to think better of her questions and simply shrugs.

And Sticky is grateful for his friends, grateful that he has these people who love him enough to trust him with his secrets, even though they don't know each other very well yet. So he follows them inside, and if Kate dumps a little bit more food on his plate, and Constance doesn't try to swipe his juice glass this time, and if that night (for the first time) Reynie shyly asks if the two of them could take turns preening each others' wings, when it's just the two of them alone in the room, Sticky thinks he might be able to trust them too.