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woso-dreamzzz · 1 day ago

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Surgery: Christmas

Mapi Leon x Ingrid Engen x Child!Reader

Summary: Christmas with Cub

"We could get her another cat?"

"We're not getting her another cat!"

It's strangely difficult to find ideas for Christmas presents to give a little girl that's only obsessed with cats, the washing machine and baking.

Your mothers can't exactly buy you your own washing machine or an electric mixer or, god forbid, another massive cat for you to carry around and insist isn't fat, isn't a complete monster or isn't the absolutely worst enemy of your mothers.

One of those worst enemies, your incredibly fat tabby Garfield, sits on the kitchen counter attempting to bat open a box of cereal to feed his never ending hunger.

Mapi and Ingrid ignore him, knowing that sooner or later this burst of energy will leave and he will amble off to a sunspot so he can nap away the rest of the day.

"Mami!" A call comes from your bedroom. "I'm stuck again!"

Mapi scrubs a hand over her face. "Just a minute, cub! I'm coming!" She turns back to Ingrid. "Definitely a no to the cat?"

Ingrid sighs. "No more cats."

"Just trying to make it easier on us!"

"Go and help our kid put on her t-shirt. I've got this."

But Ingrid very much doesn't have this. It shouldn't be this difficult to find a Christmas present for you but you're such a content kid. You've already got toys and the tv and the washing machine and the cats.

There's not really much else you want or need.

You're no help either, of course, because when Ingrid asks, you just reply with a simple:

"Er...I can get more time in yours and Mami's bed?"

So, it was very clear that you didn't quite know what you wanted for Christmas either apart from, clearly, curling up in Mapi and Ingrid's bed with them and probably kicking Mapi in her sleep.

Ingrid spends weeks stewing over what she and Mapi could get you. They'd gotten you a few throw away things like a new yellow digger after your last one fall off the balcony and smashed into the pavement below and a cute little necklace that doubled as identification with things like your name and had Mapi and Ingrid's numbers on them in case you ever went missing in a crowded area.

In the end, it's Frido that comes to her and Mapi's rescue, throwing out an idea at random during lunch when Aitana takes you up to the buffet to find some chicken.

It's a throwaway comment but with Mapi and Ingrid struggling to work out what else they could get you, they cling to it like a lifeline. They're fairly easy presents to source, something that Ingrid is glad for because she's cutting it abnormally close to Christmas day to get everything sorted.

"Mami..."

There's a crackle on the monitor that has Mapi stirring awake.

"Maaaami."

Mapi counts to ten in her mind before rolling out of bed, kissing a still sleeping Ingrid on the cheek and making her way out to your room.

"Merry Christmas, cub," She says as she pushes open your bedroom door," I see you've got company."

All of the cats seem to have migrated to your bed overnight.

Garfield, as usual, is laying on his back after (presumably) being used as a stuff animal for most of the night. Bagheera sits by your feet, grooming herself primly while the monstrous León-León stands nearby, tail flicking from side to side as he stares.

"We had Christmas cuddles," You say happily," And now we have the gingerbread?"

"We'll have to wait. Mama is still asleep."

"Why?"

"Huh? Why is Mama still asleep? She's tired."

"But why?"

"Because she was busy making sure everything was good for today."

"But why?"

Mapi scrubs a hand over her face. "You know what, let's go eat that gingerbread. Then we'll go and get your Mama."

You wiggle happily all the way to the kitchen, where Mapi lifts you up onto the counter so you can have a breakfast of the gingerbread you and Ingrid made last night and so Mapi can stop you from running into their room before Ingrid is awake enough to function.

The cats come running in as soon as they hear the rattling of their dishes - though Garfield kind of lumbers in, far behind León-León and Bagheera but still manages to steal most of the food.

Mapi does a pretty good job of stopping you going for the presents until Ingrid finally gets up, a nice warm mug of coffee waiting for her and an overly excited child trying to shove some gingerbread into her mouth.

"Tha-Thanks, Cub," Ingrid laughs as she pushes away one of your sticky little hands from where it's trying to shove biscuit into her mouth," But I'm fine with my coffee."

"It's good," You say through your own full mouth and Ingrid laughs.

"I know because it was made by us, with lots of love." Ingrid kisses the tip of your nose. "But really you should eat it all yourself."

"Really?"

"Really-really," Ingrid insists and you giggle, kicking your feet happily as you finally settle on her lap, sprinkling gingerbread crumbs everywhere as you move.

Garfield, as he always does whenever there's food to spare, comes ambling over to eat them all up.

Usually, Ingrid would scold him but Mapi's coming over with presents and she decides that even the cats can get away with things they usually wouldn't today.

"Are you ready for presents?" Ingrid asks, bouncing her knee so you burst into a round of giggles.

"Presents!"

Mapi and Ingrid exchange triumphant looks as you tear open your presents.

Your new ID necklace is placed snugly around your neck immediately, ready for in case you get lost during the walk your mothers have planned later that day.

You take great delight in placing your new yellow digger with all of your other construction toys in the corner of the room next to your little wooden set of tools.

"Mama! Mami! It's CAT!"

It's truly a surprise how many CAT themed things the club has managed to make in such a short amount of time. It's even more surprising just how much stuff they can buy for so cheap a price with their team member discounts.

But, perhaps the most surprising of all is how much the club was willing to just straight up give to them in return for just a few pictures of you with CAT the mascot.

It's not shocking to the staff and fans alike who the biggest CAT fan is and, while you do regularly appear on Mapi and Ingrid's Instagrams, it's a rarer feat to see you featured on the team's.

But, with just three pictures of you with CAT and a very cute video of you nearly taking the mascot of their feet in an attempt to hug them, Mapi and Ingrid received a bundle of CAT merch in return.

"It is CAT," Mapi laughs," It's a t-shirt with CAT on it!"

"And a keyring! And a new mug!" Ingrid continues as you rip open your presents, getting more and more excited the more CAT things you see.

"CAT's my second best friend," You tell Mapi and Ingrid earnestly in the next hour as you all take a nice walk together through the park.

"Oh, yeah?" Mapi says," And who's your best friend?"

"You and Mama," You reply.

"Oh, cub," Ingrid coos," That's so swe-"

"And Bagheera and Garfield and León-León."

Mapi laughs. "There it is."

#woso x reader #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #ingrid engen x reader #ingrid engen #woso community #woso imagine #woso fanfics #woso

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st4rpiece · 12 hours ago

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needing space after an argument pt. 2

SFW

characters: luffy, zoro, usopp, sanji x reader summary: they earn your forgiveness CW: groveling, making up, fluff, and over 600 words each

pt. 1 | pt. 2

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Monkey D. Luffy

Luffy wasn’t himself. It was the first thing everyone noticed after you left the ship. His laughter, usually loud and contagious, was quieter, forced. Mealtimes felt emptier, and the energy on the Sunny had shifted. He tried to act like nothing was wrong, but even the crew could see the shadow of regret lingering in his eyes.

But now, here he was, standing in front of you in the quiet port town where you’d taken refuge after leaving the crew. His usual confidence was gone, replaced by a desperate determination.

“I’m sorry,” he said for what must have been the tenth time. His voice was raw, almost breaking. “I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have told you to leave. I was stupid.”

You stood with your arms crossed, your expression guarded. Seeing Luffy like this—so uncharacteristically vulnerable—caught you off guard, but the sting of his words still lingered, fresh and sharp.

“Luffy, you can’t just say whatever you want when you’re mad and expect everything to go back to normal,” you said, your voice steady but tinged with exhaustion. “You told me to leave. So I did.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he repeated, stepping closer but stopping just short of touching you. “I was mad and didn’t think. I... I need you on the ship. Not just because I want you there, but because you’re part of the crew. You’re important to us all and i shouldn’t have made you feel otherwise.”

You searched his face, his big, earnest eyes pleading with you. You could see the regret there, the weight of his mistake hanging heavy on his shoulders. For a moment, your resolve wavered, but you quickly shook your head.

“I can’t just come back because you say you’re sorry, Luffy. What happens the next time we fight? Are you going to tell me to leave again?”

“No!” he blurted out, shaking his head vehemently. “No, I swear. I’ll never say anything like that again.”

You frowned, unsure what to make of his declaration. “Luffy, words aren’t enough.”

He nodded, his straw hat shadowing his eyes for a moment before he looked up at you with renewed determination. “Then I’ll show you. Whatever it takes.”

True to his word, Luffy didn’t give up. He didn’t force you to return to the ship, but he didn’t leave the island either. Every day, he showed up—whether it was to bring you a freshly caught fish for dinner, fix something around the small inn you were staying at, or simply sit outside and wait in silence. He didn’t push, didn’t demand, but his presence was constant.

When the ship needed supplies, he was the first to volunteer, taking on tasks he’d usually leave to someone else. The crew later told you how he’d started taking more responsibility, trying to step up as a better leader.

Even when you didn’t speak to him, he never faltered. Every action, every small gesture, was his way of showing you how much he regretted his words.

One evening, you found Luffy sitting on the dock, staring out at the ocean with his straw hat resting in his lap. He looked smaller somehow, as though the weight of his regret had worn him down.

When he noticed you approaching, he stood up immediately, his expression shifting from surprise to cautious hope.

“Why do you keep doing this?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Because I was wrong,” he said without hesitation. “Because I hurt you, and I have to make it right. Even if you never come back, I’ll keep trying. I don’t care how long it takes.”

His sincerity stopped you in your tracks. He wasn’t making excuses, wasn’t brushing over your feelings like they didn’t matter. He had made changes—small ones, but noticeable—and for the first time, you truly believed he understood the gravity of what he’d done.

You sighed, letting the silence linger before speaking. “Luffy... I’ll come back.”

His eyes lit up with hope, his lips parting as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“But,” you continued, holding up a finger, “this only works if things stay different. I’m not going back just to deal with the same problems again. I need to know you’re taking this seriously.”

“I swear!” he said immediately, his voice brimming with determination. “I swear that things will be different. A good different. No more reckless fights for selfish reasons or saying things I don’t mean, I promise.”

You studied him for a long moment, the sincerity and determination in his eyes unmistakable. Finally, you allowed a small smile to tug at the corners of your lips. “Alright, Lu.”

Relief washed over his face as he heard the familiar nickname, and for the first time in weeks, you saw his grin return, bright and full of life.

"I missed you so much, baby," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion and certainty, as he wrapped his arms around you.

The comforting warmth of his embrace, felt like home—safe, secure, and exactly where you wanted to be.

Roronoa Zoro

Zoro wasn’t one to grovel. Stubborn and prideful as he was, apologies didn’t come easy for him. But as he sat alone on the Sunny’s deck, replaying his words from the fight, regret gnawed at him like a dull blade.

The memory of your face—shocked, hurt, and then resigned—kept flashing in his mind. He hadn’t just lashed out; he’d cut deep. You were trying to help, and he’d thrown it back at you, calling you controlling and annoying when you didn’t deserve it.

He groaned, pressing his palms against his face. He hated how small he felt for failing to show up to the dates you’d so carefully planned, how your suggestion—simple and kind—had poked at an insecurity he didn’t want to face. And now, because of his pride, he’d pushed you away.

For days, you’d been distant, giving him space, but that only made the guilt worse. He needed to fix this.

You were sitting on a quiet hillside overlooking the ocean when Zoro found you. The breeze tugged at your clothes, and you looked peaceful—too peaceful, considering how much turmoil you’d left him in.

“Hey,” he called softly, his voice unusually hesitant.

You glanced at him, surprised to see the normally stoic swordsman looking... sheepish. He stood awkwardly a few feet away, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

“What is it, Zoro?” you asked, your tone calm but distant.

He swallowed hard, his fingers twitching at his sides before he took a step closer. “I wanted to apologize.”

That caught your attention. Your brows lifted in mild surprise, but you said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” he said, his voice low and gruff, but steady. “You weren’t being controlling or annoying. You were just... trying to help.” He exhaled heavily as if forcing the words out of himself. “And I was an idiot.”

You blinked, his sincerity throwing you off guard. “Zoro—”

“Let me finish, please,” he interrupted, his eyes meeting yours for the first time. There was something raw in his gaze—an uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I’ve been thinking about it, and... I hate that I’m always late. I hate knowing you’re waiting for me while I’m stuck wandering around like an idiot who can’t follow a simple route. It’s embarrassing.”

Your expression softened, but you stayed quiet, letting him speak.

“When you suggested we go together, I know it wasn’t because you thought I was useless,” he continued, his voice tightening. “But that’s how it made me feel. Like I wasn’t good enough to get it right on my own. And instead of dealing with that, I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He took a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “But I don’t think you’re controlling or annoying. You’re the most patient and understanding person for putting up with me. So you deserve better and I want to be that.”

The sincerity in his voice was almost overwhelming, and for a moment, you weren’t sure how to respond. He wasn’t just saying the words—he meant them.

“I know I can’t just say sorry and expect everything to go back to normal,” he added, glancing away briefly before meeting your gaze again. “So, please baby just… give me a chance to make it right.”

Your lips parted in surprise. Zoro wasn’t the type to take the initiative when it came to things like this, but the determination in his eyes was unmistakable.

After a long pause, you let out a soft sigh, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “One last chance.”

He nodded, relief flashing across his face, but there was also a quiet resolve in his expression. This wasn’t just a promise—it was a vow.

The next time you guys went on a date, Zoro was ready. He showed up early, finally getting the chance to wait on you. He led you to a quiet clearing overlooking the sea, a picnic already set up with food he’d personally asked Sanji to help him prepare.

The effort was clear in every little detail, from the way he chose the spot (easily accessible, no chance to get lost) to the careful decorations and crafts you mentioned liking/wanting to try. Showing that despite his stoic nature, he was listening to you during previous dates. Even now as you spoke, he would chime in at just the right moments.

It wasn’t perfect—he stumbled over a few of his words and complained when a seagull tried to swipe the food—but it was Zoro, trying in his own way. And that meant everything.

By the time the date ended, you leaned back on the blanket, gazing up at the stars, feeling closer to him than ever before. When he reached for your hand, you let him, squeezing it gently.

Zoro glanced down at your intertwined fingers, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. His gaze softened, and he took a deep breath before speaking. “I know you agreed to give me another chance, but I need to know if you’re still interested in giving me that chance.”

Your heart softened at the rare vulnerability in his voice. You turned to meet his eyes, and they were steady, full of quiet determination.

A soft smile tugged at your lips, and you leaned into him as the waves crashed gently in the distance. For a man of few words, Zoro was surprisingly good at them.

“Well,” you began, tilting your head with a teasing glint in your eye, “that depends. Are you going to keep being so dramatic about it?” You bit back a laugh as you watched the tips of his ears turn red, his expression shifting into a familiar scowl.

“Tch, not being dramatic,” he grumbled, looking away, but the redness in his ears betrayed him.

You chuckled softly and squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to you. “I was being serious about giving you that second chance,” you said warmly. His shoulders relaxed slightly, and the tension in his jaw eased.

“But,” you continued, your tone more firm, “next time aone thing like this happens, promise that you’ll communicate it properly. Okay? No more bottling things up.”

Zoro stared at you for a moment, his expression unreadable, before nodding once. “You have my word.” His voice was low but steady, carrying the weight of his promise.

“Good.” You smiled, squeezing his hand again as a soft breeze brushed past, carrying with it the sound of the waves.

God Usopp

The day had been quiet, almost too quiet, and the silence weighed heavy between you and Usopp. Since your argument, things haven’t been the same. You still spoke, but the words felt hollow, and the laughter you once shared now seemed distant and forced. He noticed it all—the way your smile never quite reached your eyes, the strain in your voice when you tried to act like nothing was wrong.

And it tore him apart.

Usopp sat on the deck after dinner, absentmindedly fiddling with a half-finished invention. His fingers moved on instinct, but his thoughts were stuck on your last conversation. He hated himself for the way he’d lashed out, for the way he’d let his insecurities push you away.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sea in shades of orange and pink, he made up his mind. He couldn’t let this fester any longer.

When you stepped onto the deck for some air, Usopp hesitated, watching you from a distance. Finally, he stood, his hands clenching at his sides as he approached you.

“Hey,” he called softly.

You turned, surprised to see him. “Oh, hey.” Your voice was casual, but your guarded expression told him you were bracing for something.

“Can we talk?” he asked, his tone uncharacteristically serious.

You nodded, following him to a quieter spot on the ship where the others couldn’t overhear. The soft sound of the waves filled the silence as Usopp struggled to find the right words.

“I’ve been... thinking,” he began, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “About what I said. About the fight.” He looked down, unable to meet your gaze. Your brows furrowed, but you stayed quiet, giving him the space to explain.

“I know you don’t see me as weak,” he continued, his voice growing tight. “But hearing you scream for him... it made me feel useless.” He exhaled sharply, his hand tightening around the railing. “And I hate feeling like that. I know I’m not like Luffy, Zoro, or Sanji. I’m not the guy who can punch through walls or take down ten enemies at once, but... I at least want to be someone you can count on. Someone you can feel protected with.”

He paused, his words faltering slightly. “But instead of talking to you about it, I projected my insecurities onto you, and made it seem like you were wrong for asking our friends for help. For that, I’m sorry.”

The vulnerability in his words hit you hard, and guilt pooled in your chest. “Baby...” you started, your voice soft. “I’m sorry, too. I never meant to make you feel that way.” You stepped closer, resting a hand on his arm. “But you are someone I can count on. Someone who’s saved my ass more times than I can count. Your strength may not look like theirs, but it’s just as important.”

He finally looked at you, his eyes wide, searching for any trace of doubt. “You... you really mean that?”

“Heck yeah, I do,” you said without hesitation. “I trust you, Usopp. I always have.”

A small, hesitant smile tugged at his lips, and he let out a shaky breath, relief flooding through him. “Thanks... I needed to hear that," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

After a moment, he straightened and rubbed the back of his head, suddenly looking sheepish. “Actually, uh, there’s something I’ve been working on. For you. I wanted to make something that could help you in a fight.”

Your brows lifted in surprise. “Really? What is it?”

Grinning now, Usopp reached into his bag and pulled out a small, compact gadget. “It’s not finished yet, but it’s kind of like a smoke bomb, but better. It creates a flash of light to blind enemies and a smoke screen to cover your escape. I thought... you know, it might come in handy.”

You took the gadget from him, turning it over in your hands. “Usopp, this is amazing.”

“Yeah, well,” he said, scratching his cheek, his grin turning bashful. “I wanted to make sure you had another thing to keep you safe. In case no one else is around.”

You smiled, warmth blooming in your chest. “Thank you, Usopp. I mean it.”

He relaxed then, the tension between you finally melting away. “I’ll finish it soon,” he promised, his confidence returning. “And who knows? Maybe I’ll come up with even more stuff for you with full bragging rights.”

"Thanks, now I can let everyone know just how my amazing boyfriend is," you laughed—genuinely this time—and Usopp’s chest swelled with pride. He knew he still had work to do, but for now, the weight of your fight had lifted, and the bond between you felt stronger than ever.

Vinesmoke Sanji

Sanji stood alone on the deck, the moonlight casting a silver glow over his slumped figure. He leaned against the railing, a cigarette burning low between his fingers, though he hadn’t taken a drag in minutes. His mind replayed every moment of your relationship—the laughter, the stolen glances, the warmth of your touch. And then, inevitably, it would circle back to the breakup.

He’d failed you. The person who mattered more to him than anyone else in the world. His actions—so thoughtless, so wrapped in habit—had made you feel second to strangers. The realization haunted him, clawing at his chest.

Sanji thought of groveling, of falling to his knees and begging you to take him back, but he knew you too well. That would only push you further away. You were someone who needed actions, not words, and he knew his words had already failed you. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to give up. You were his person, his muse, his everything. How could he possibly accept a life without you in it?

So he did the only thing he could. He began to show you through his actions.

The change was immediate. The next time the ship docked at an island, Sanji didn’t so much as glance at the women who usually flocked to him. When they batted their lashes and called out for his attention, he brushed them off politely and kept his focus on his task. His compliments, once scattered freely to strangers, were now reserved only for you. Even when you ignored him, his words never wavered—soft, sincere, and meant only for you.

In battle, Sanji was more relentless than ever. But his priority was always your safety, stepping in before danger could reach you, even if it meant taking a hit himself. When the crew sat down for meals, he made sure your favorite dishes were prepared just the way you liked them, his eyes flicking to your face to see if you’d noticed.

And when he thought you weren’t looking, he’d linger nearby, silently watching you. There was a sadness in his gaze as he admired the person he’d once had the privilege of holding close. You saw him sometimes, hovering at a distance, and though you tried to ignore it, part of you couldn’t deny the pang in your chest. You still had feelings for him—of course you did. But you couldn’t settle for someone who had once made you doubt your place in their life.

Weeks passed, and Sanji’s quiet devotion didn’t falter. Even now as he stood near the railing, waiting for you, his hands slightly trembling. He had spent all day preparing for this moment, and now the weight of his plan felt heavier than ever.

When you finally stepped out onto the deck, he straightened immediately, smoothing his suit jacket with nervous fingers. "Hey," he called softly, his voice careful, like he was afraid of scaring you off.

"Hey," you replied, your tone hesitant but curious. He’d been walking on eggshells around you for weeks, and now this—an invitation for "something special" without much detail. Against your better judgment, you’d said yes, curiosity getting the better of you.

He smiled faintly, stepping toward you. "I, uh, thought we could spend the evening together. Just... talk."

You raised a brow. "Talk?"

He nodded, motioning for you to follow him. "Come on. I’ve got something to show you."

Despite the uncertainty in your chest, you followed him across the deck, and your eyes widened when he led you to a corner of the ship bathed in soft, golden light from lanterns he had strung up. A blanket was spread out neatly on the deck, adorned with a small basket, plates of your favorite snacks, and a bottle of your favorite drink.

"Sanji..." you murmured, taken aback.

"I know it’s not much," he said quickly, scratching the back of his neck. "But I wanted to do something for you. Something simple. Something that doesn’t involve me screwing it up."

You blinked, your hesitation softening slightly at his earnestness. "You didn’t have to go through all this trouble."

"I did," he countered, his voice firm but warm. "I needed to."

He gestured for you to sit, and after a moment’s pause, you did, settling down on the blanket. Sanji sat across from you, his hands fidgeting in his lap.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the quiet hum of the ship filling the space between you. Finally, Sanji took a deep breath and looked at you, his expression more serious than you’d seen in a long time.

"My love," he began, "I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since... since we broke up. And I just... I need you to know how sorry I am."

You looked away, unsure how to respond, but he continued.

"I wasn’t the boyfriend you deserved," he admitted, his voice low. "I made you feel like you had to compete for my attention, and that’s unforgivable. You should’ve never felt like anything less than the most important person in my life. That’s on me."

His gaze was unwavering as he spoke, and you couldn’t help but feel the sincerity in his words.

"I still have feelings for you," he said, his voice trembling slightly. "I never stopped. And I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight, or even to trust me again right away. But I need you to know that I’ve changed. I’m changing. And I’ll do anything to prove it to you."

You stared at him, his words hitting you harder than you expected. Sanji was always smooth with his words, but this was different. There was no charm, no performative flair—just raw honesty.

"Sanji..." you started, your voice faltering. You swallowed hard, your hands gripping the edge of the blanket. "I... I still have feelings for you too. But..."

"But you don’t trust me," he finished for you, his tone understanding rather than hurt.

You nodded. "It’s not that I don’t want to. I just... I’m scared of getting hurt again."

He reached across the blanket, his hand stopping just short of yours. "I understand," he said softly. "And I don’t blame you. I don’t want you to rush into anything you’re not ready for. If we have to take things slow, then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll show you, not just with words but with actions, that you’re the only one in my heart."

His hand lingered near yours, and after a moment, you tentatively placed your hand over his. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver through you, and you looked up to meet his gaze.

"Okay," you said quietly. "We can try. But slow, Sanji. No rushing, no grand gestures to win me over. Just... be honest with me."

A smile broke across his face, softer and more genuine than any you’d seen in weeks. "Slow it is," he promised.

For the first time in what felt like forever, the tension between you eased. You still had a long way to go, but as you sat there, sharing a quiet meal under the lantern light, you couldn’t help but feel that maybe, just maybe, things could work out.

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One Piece Masterlist

hey…I was supposed to post this yesterday but I ended up working a double 😭.

[this is lightly edited]

anyways I saw a couple people asking about a tag list ngl i don’t know shit about that 😭😭 but hopefully this finds you !!

and for the op women/queer smau I will be posting that soon as well but I got a really cute idea from anon yesterday and I want to start on that first.

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heich0e · 1 day ago

Note

liv, please feed us more the the osamu finding out his fav nsfw audio creator standing and ordering on his shop..

osamu's not sure if his prayers have been answered or ignored when you show up at onigiri miya a second time.

in defense of whatever cosmic power is responsible for responding to prayers, he did send pretty mixed messages when he put that energy out into the universe. but when the bell at onigiri miya chimes to signal your arrival a few days (three, to be specific, not that he's been counting) after your initial appearance, osamu is equal parts delighted and horrified to see your face again.

his cock, it cannot be understated, is unequivocally thrilled.

"hi," you say, approaching the counter once it's your turn to order.

"good afternoon," osamu's shocked he manages to get out a greeting in reply to your own, his tone surprisingly even given the typhoon presently raging underneath his ribs. your lashes flutter prettily as you read the menu overhead, and osamu has to forcibly tear his eyes away from you lest he come across as a total fucking weirdo.

"could i please get, ah—" you hesitate as you consider the menu, but the way you draw out that little noise at the end of your sentence almost makes osamu keel over in front of you, his staff, every customer in the place, and whatever god sent you back to his restaurant.

he grips the front of his apron with both his fists, hoping that you can't tell how hard he's holding back a shudder from the mere sound of your voice.

"i'll have one grilled salmon and one pickled plum, please."

"i'll throw one of today's special in fer ya too, on the house."

osamu has no idea who's taken the wheel inside his brain to steer him through this conversation, because he hardly realizes he's speaking at all until his sentence is already concluded, but he's endlessly appreciative of it.

"oh—" you do that thing again. that awful, incredible thing where your voice gets all breathy and osamu's cock throbs. "that's so nice of you, thanks so much."

with every single word you speak, osamu is more certain that he wasn't wrong the first day he saw you. there's no doubt in his mind that this is the same voice that he's been cumming to on a damn near daily basis for nearly three years. his entire face feels like it's on fire when he hands you your order, and the smile on your face practically cleaves him in two.

he's grateful you're taking your order to-go today, because you've only barely made it out through the door before osamu is squatting down behind the counter with his head in his hands.

fuck. when was the last time he felt like this? has he ever gone this unbelievably stupid over a girl?

"hey boss, we're almost out of—oh man, you good?"

osamu's employee, ryo, pokes his head out from the kitchen and is shocked to find the restauranteur doubled over behind the counter.

osamu says nothing, but waves dismissively in an attempt to reassure him. clearly whatever spirit had guided him through taking your order had abandoned him now that you're gone.

"you look like... really awful."

osamu looks up at his employee with a grim expression.

"'m good."

"you sure? your whole face is like... purple."

"ryo, get back in the fuckin' kitchen or i'm makin' ya deice the walk-in after close."

"jeez!" ryo throws his hands up in defense, quickly skittering back behind the curtain with a laugh. "i'm just looking out for your health, boss!"

osamu sighs, a resting a hand over his chest where his heart is still racing underneath.

maybe he needs it.

#liv got mail

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plumeria1 · 2 days ago

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Night routine with Jinx

I rewatched Arcane yesterday and I wondered how Jinx washes her hair ? I mean it must be hard, it's so long. So what if when Jinx come home tired Reader is here to help her to relax.

Note: English is not my language so there's may be writing faults also it's my first post so please be lenient.

Summary: After a long day in Zaun streets, Jinx come home tired luckily for her you're here for her.

Content: fluff, Jinx x gn reader

Lying on the bed you are reading a book when you hear heavy footsteps that make you raise your head.

With a smile you quickly jump out of bed and run to your girlfriend, but you stop suddenly when you see her covered in dust and smelling really bad.

Hi toots.

She looks tired and as soon as she sees you she drags her feet to you and when she is close enough she gently holds out her arms for you to hug her.

You smell.

But even if she smelled like sewers you love her too much to refuse a hug from her. As if all of a sudden all her energy left her you feel all her weight on you.

I'm tired.

She looks at you with big puppy eyes, a look that never fails to make you smile.

We're going to bed but first you need to take a bath. Where have you been to smell like that?

Long story, too tired.

She had mumbled but you understood.

You managed to make her move towards the bathtub and made her sit on the edge while you ran the water.

Once the bath was nice and hot she undressed and tied her long braids in a very big bun. She always washes her hair after her bath, it is too long and it bothers her when she washes.

While she washes you set up several pillows, a big warm blanket on the bed and the stuffed rabbit that her sister gave to her when she was a child.

20 minutes later you hear her call you softly, you go to join her and see that she has already put on her clothes for the night and that she has undone her bun.

She hasn't undone her braids, she knows you love doing it, you make her sit against the bathtub by putting a pillow behind her back and a towel behind her neck so as not to wet her clothes then you sit on the edge of the bathtub next to her.

You have always loved undoing Jinx's braids, you always take the opportunity to run your fingers through her hair, but you had to postpone that until later the priority was to wash them.

Once her hair is free and brushed to remove the knots, you put it in the bathtub, they completely covering the bottom, you take the shower head and start your work.

As soon as the water touches her hair Jinx lets out a relaxed sigh and closes her eyes. Once completely wet you grab Jinx's favorite shampoo bottle and pour a good amount into your hands and start massaging her scalp with all the gentleness you have.

Jinx feels your nails scratching her head gently and despite the heaviness of her hair she is completely relaxed to the point that she falls asleep. The massage session ends too quickly for her liking when she feels your hand lightly patting her shoulder to tell her that her hair needs to be dried.

After 15 minutes of drying and 10 minutes to redo her braids, Jinx can finally go to sleep. She lets herself fall heavily onto the warm bed and slips under the blanket before falling asleep suddenly.

When you finished putting away the shampoo and the hairbrush you join her in bed and smile when you see her deeply asleep. You smile because you like when she sleeps it's one of the too rare moments when she seems truly soothed.

You know this because one day she confided to you that she liked to take long naps because in her dreams the voices do not come to disturb her.

You join her in bed and instinctively she clings to you to enjoy your warmth, you take her in your arms and turn on the little light next to the bed because you know that although she likes to hide in the shadows she doesn't like to sleep in the dark.

You kiss her on the forehead and before falling asleep you whisper to her

Rest, I'll still be here when you wake up.

I hope you liked it if you have any advice all comments are good to take.

A Merry Christmas to all those who celebrate it and for those who don't celebrate it Happy Holidays. ☺️

*I added the part about the little light because I noticed that Jinx's hiding place is never completely in the dark (we can see that there is always a source of light like the fluorescent paint on the floor or the neon lights above her bed)

#jinx x reader #arcane x reader #jinx x you #jinx fluff

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feministfang · 3 days ago

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I am not even anti-billionaire when it comes to rich women. Women deserve to be ultra rich and live however we want; having financial freedom, real independence, enjoying luxury, not owing our time and energy to anybody, and being impossible for men to exploit us cause we don’t need them for anything. I myself am working hard to be rich enough that i don’t have to work hard anymore and so i can enjoy my life while fulfilling my desires that are far beyond my basic needs. If i ever become as rich as Taylor Swift, i'd love to have my own private jet as well and use it to travel everywhere while leaving the carbon emissions on every jealous hater’s face to make them feel suffocated so they can shut their mouths for once!

These low-life, chronically online, judgmental freaks who talk about caring about humanity or the environment only do their judgmental shit talk when they have to target or blame a woman. Meet them irl and you’ll see they are just jobless, miserable nobodies sitting behind their phones all day scrolling and pointing fingers at other women thinking they can bring them down to their level. Sigh!😮‍💨 And they fail every time. You will never find these people actually doing something nice for the world themselves because they think hating and blaming women automatically puts them in the "good people" category and gives them the validation of everyone else pretending to be a good person on the internet! They are so horrible they even defend cyberbullying rich successful women with comments like:

“but she’s a billionaire she deserves backlash”

“oh she’s so rude and obsessed with herself she deserves all the hate”

“oh but she has never donated her money to charity she’s so selfish”

The so called angry liberal activists, including some of the radfems, go in all their way to pass such stupid ridiculous comments; no wonder so many women are leaving feminism because what we want is freedom, rest and to own our lives. We are not here to carry the burden of everything y'all like to put on our shoulders. Feminism is only about our liberation from men and patriarchy so put your focus on that, whatever we do other than that is none of anyone’s damn business. Stop expecting feminists to solve every humanitarian crisis as we are not here for that! Stop asking women to cut off our expenses and make sacrifices for the sake of others. No we won’t do that! Cope and cry! And do it yourself if you care!

And to the women who often get guilt-tripped by these miserable insecure losers for wanting a rich luxurious lifestyle, ignore them all! They are not at your level for you to be wasting your energy on them. You are the only one working hard for yourself to gain these privileges, money, and freedom. You deserve to cherish it however YOU want, and not according to these low-value people who didn’t put an ounce of effort in your life but have the audacity to tell you what to do with your blessings. They all didn’t support Taylor Swift in 2016 when she was cancelled, didn’t care about how she was feeling, refused to acknowledge her existence like cowards to be on the safe side of the internet, and also participated in cyber bullying her all over the internet just for fun. Now when she’s a self-made prospering billionaire, all of a sudden she exists in everyone’s mind as a horrible person because she is not living her life the same miserable way as theirs.

Always keep in mind that they don’t even hate you, they hate themselves, they hate their lives, they hate everything about themselves so what they direct at you is just the projection of their own insecurities and they always do it in the form of gaslighting. If Taylor Swift did it while enduring the entire world hating on her, so can you! Stay evil and selfish while sipping on your fav wine in your private jet and let them cry about it because nobody is important when you’re lost in having fun, let alone their opinions. I am proud of you for choosing to upgrade your life, instead of suffering in the same shit! Cheers! 🥂

i will always be anti-billionaire, but it pisses me off when people talk about Taylor swift likes shes the literal spawn of Satan. sure, she does have a very big impact on the environment, but I see males harassing her about her carbon footprint but don't bat an eye at elon musk or any other male billionaire. if you're going to target a billionaire for their impact on the environment maybe focus on all billionaires, not just a woman lmao. don't claim to be doing this to "help bring awareness for the earth" when you literally only talk about taylor

#taylor swift #swifties #i support rich women #rich woman #rich life #billionaire #feminism #radical feminism #radblr #radical feminist community #radical feminist safe #radical feminist #women

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towriteloveontheirarms · 11 hours ago

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Longing (Aemond Targaryen x Servant!Reader)

synopsis: “You are wasting all this time away from what you could have.” He whispers against your lips. “How could I so selfishly take something that will never truly be mine. For if it where it would mean you had lost everything.” You murmur back, finally caving and resting your forehead against his.

warnings: forbidden love, love confessions, afab reader

word count: 1.5k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1 @legitalicat

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

Being a chambermaid employed by the royal family meant that you were closer to them than most low born people could say. It also meant that you were closer to them than most would ever be. You had begun your service as prince Aemond's chambermaid shortly after your four and tenth name day which was more than just a few years past now and, in that time, the initially fearful flutter in your stomach at the Targaryen prince’s presence had changed. Your palms still sweat, and your heart still missed a few beats, your muscles still tensed, and your breath still fell short. Yet the air around you feels different. Instead of suffocatingly thick, it seems charged with energy.

Still, ever aware of where you come from as opposed to his royal background, you push any of it aside and continue your service. All but too happy when you get reassigned to the princess Helaena´s chambers. Unknowing as to what brought on that change, carefully veiled by the Queen who feared her son’s infatuation with you grow, hoping it would keep the prince´s eye away from you. It wouldn´t. Nothing ever could. He had always gotten what he wanted, one way or another.

You felt the burning gaze in your neck whenever he was unoccupied by lessons, training or sleep. Every free second he is given. Though him watching you isn´t quite as hard as when he tries to talk to you.

“Have you ever known the feeling of love?” Aemond asks you in an empty hallway one night.

Gasping at his sudden, silent appearance, you stumble a step back. “A-apologies, your highness?”

“I asked if you have ever been in love.” He repeats.

Unsure if it is better to answer truthfully or not you decide for it. Just as your palms start to sweat and your stomach begins to flutter again.

“I have.” You admit with a burning face.

“How does it feel?” He implores further, taking a step towards you.

“In all truth I do not know how to answer your question.” A nervous huff escapes your lungs. “Because it is not the happy tale I assume you wish to hear.”

Aemond closes further in on you until you feel the cold stone wall of the red keep pressed against your back and his warm breath barely grazing over your face. “Tell me anyway.”

“There is nothing to tell. He is of noble birth, so I had no choice but to ignore my own feelings. Lest a confession endangered my position in the castle.” You try to push down any revealing glimmer in your eyes as he lays a finger underneath your chin to force you to look up at him.

“Have you ever considered his feelings? He might hope and wait for a confession. Your position would not be endangered if he is with you willingly, is it?” The look in the blond´s eye had seldom been witnessed to be as soft as it is in this moment.

You can barely handle the cold guilt that floods your nervous system at the prospect of it. “No, that would be an even worse fate.”

For a moment a heavy silence reigns over the atmosphere in the corridor. You are captured by his intense energy, but you know that your differences drive you too far apart to be together. Not in this life. Collecting all your strength, you free yourself of the spell.

“You will have to apologize me, your highness.” You mumble quickly before running back to your chambers.

Leaving him behind confused and displeased with his own haste having driven you away. Arriving out of breath and agitated, your stomach churns until the moment your eyes close. Yet even in your dreams the thought of Aemond won´t bring you any peace.

For the following tenday or so the two of you go back to the usual routine. You go after your duties day by day while Aemond watches. Secretly planning his next step. Careful not to drive you away any further than he already might have had. If only he knew how high the fire of passion was burning inside of you. Longing, yearning for what he was offering. Only barely contained by your insistent reminders how much there was at stake were he to pursue his feelings for you.

When he approaches you again, you are in the same corridor. Just about to prepare a bath for the princess. His steps silent as always, sending a cold shiver down your back as he calls out your name.

“You will never love anyone like that ever again. You will be like an empty vessel waiting to be filled, yet never being able to find what you are truly searching for…” He murmurs intimately.

Coming to a stand mere inches in front of you, leaning his head down to regard you with an all but reverential look from that dark, lilac eye. His hands find yours to interlock your fingers. Keeping you from running so fast again. He had thought long about how to talk to you without it, but now that he stood before you the words just broke out of him. Making your breath shudder as you take in the words. Struggling to cope with the intensity of the situation.

“I am willing to sacrifice that, if only it means to spare him from the fate he would suffer if he chose me.” You croak.

It is wrong to be so close to him, but by the seven it feels so right. He was so unapologetic and unwavering in his pursuit, and it felt good to be wanted. Even if your body couldn´t help but be on high alert. His eye searches into your own. Longing, aching for your love.

The usually brooding facial features, consumed by the agonizing need to have you. “You cannot spare him from fate. On the contrary. You are hurting him more by not embracing your love.”

Aemond´s hands cup your cheeks, gently. You watch him come closer inch by inch, frozen in place. When his lips lay on yours in a tender kiss, you don't dare to close your eyes. The chances of being caught still ever present in your brain. Still your hands grip the leather of his doublet impossibly tight. The touch only lasts a moment, and his eyes remain closed as he hums afterwards.

“You are wasting all this time away from what you could have.” He whispers against your lips.

“How could I so selfishly take something that will never truly be mine. For if it where it would mean you had lost everything.” You murmur back, finally caving and resting your forehead against his.

“For as long as there is breath in my lungs, I swear to you that no matter who I am wed to my heart will be yours to hold only. I will worship every inch of you in the shadows of the castle and the dark of night.” He promises.

“But what are stolen moments and hidden alcoves if they do not save you from the danger of the affair. If you will never be able to not worry about the prying eyes and judgemental tongues of the court.” You argue back. Yet the intention of stopping the arising longing is far failed.

Your heart clenches with the wish to have the prince as freely as his future wife could.

“It will be whatever we wish. Our own little world.” He rasps and something inside of you breaks.

The strength you had shown all this time to stay away from him is eradicated by the sweet nothings.

“It sounds so simple.” You concede in a doleful tone.

“It can be. If you let it.” Aemond murmurs, one of his hands wandering into your hair. “I beg of you. Do not refuse what we could have anymore.”

“I will not.” You whisper.

The blond closes the infinitesimal gap between your lips anew. This time your eyes flutter close. Trusting him to be safe in your privacy. The hand still on your cheek, cradles your face as the other presses up ever so gently against the back of your head. Guiding you into the affectionate touch. His lips capture yours. Hungry for anything yours are willing to give and expressing every ounce of emotion that had been repressed for years. His tall frame presses against you, your arms snaking around his middle to splay your fingers over the cool leather covering his back. Your heart skips like never before. Your lips linger for a moment longer before you part. It could have been an eternity or just a blink of an eye and your eyes flutter open hesitantly. The air around the two of you buzzes, the energy the only sound in your ears beside your blood rushing with adrenaline.

“I love you.” You whisper. Scared to wake up and have it all be a dream if you speak any louder.

“I´m yours. Forever.” Aemond murmurs back.

#aemond #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen #prince aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond x you #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #hotd #house of the dragon #hotd fic #house of the dragon fic #hotd fanfic #hotd x reader #hotd x you

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ilovecatfr · 15 hours ago

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Getting Comfortable in the State of Preparation

Why Shifters Often Get Stuck Here

Have you ever caught yourself spending hours making scripts, mood boards, and playlists for your Desired Reality (DR) but rarely (or never) actually attempting to shift? You’re not alone—this is super common in the shifting community or so I noticed after one of my posts. Many shifters fall into a pattern of preparation, where the process of getting ready feels more comfortable than the act of shifting itself.

Why Shifters Get Stuck in Preparation

1. Preparation Feels Safe

Making scripts and mood boards gives you a sense of control and progress. It’s exciting and comforting because it connects you to your DR without the frustration or fear of a failed attempt.

2. Perfectionism

Feeling like you need the perfect script, playlist, or method before you shift. This turns into an endless cycle of preparation because you never feel “ready enough.”

3. Dopamine Rush

Planning triggers a dopamine release—the thrill of imagining your DR can be addictive! It gives you a taste of your DR without actually shifting, so it’s easy to keep doing it.

4. Community Validation

Sharing your playlists, scripts, or mood boards in the shifting community can feel nice. It’s a way to bond with others, but it can also make the focus shift (pun intended!) from actual shifting to just the idea of shifting.

5. Procrastination as a Defense Mechanics

Procrastination is often rooted in fear. For some shifters, it’s easier to stay in the “preparation” phase.

6. Overwhelm

With so much information out there about shifting methods and scripting, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Instead of figuring out where to start, many shifters default to preparing because it feels more manageable.

How to Break Out of the Preparation Loop

If you find yourself stuck in this cycle, here are some tips that may help you refocus on actual shifting:

1. Shift the Focus to Actual Attempts

Remember that prep work is meant to support your shifting journey, not replace it. Set clear intentions for when you'll shift and stick to them.

2. Limit Prep Time

Give yourself a specific time frame for scripting or making mood boards (e.g., one day to make your script/ 1 hour a day for week). Then spend the rest of your time focusing on shifting.

(make sure to not be overwhelmed if you set a specific time that you are not comfortable with)

3. Visualize Instead of Overplanning

Focus on feeling like you’re in your DR. You don’t need every detail scripted; your subconscious can fill in the blanks.

(for people who feel like they can't trust their subconscious: your subconscious is YOU, it knows what you want. Your subconscious is never going against you; it always working with your desires you only need to allow to give it to you)

4. Try a “Prep Detox”

Take a break from all the prep work and focus solely on shifting for a few days. You might find it easier to connect with your DR this way. You'll see how easier shifting will become when you focus your energy on actually doing it rather then on finishing your script or making a new Pinterest board (no shade)

5. Reframe the Habit

See scripting and playlists as stepping stones, not the destination. Keep reminding yourself: the real reward is your DR, not the finished script.

6. Consistency Over Perfection

You don’t need to feel perfectly prepared to shift. Trust that you yourself is enough.

Getting stuck in the preparation stage doesn’t mean you’re not capable of shifting. It’s just a habit, and like any habit, it can be shifted (pun intended again)! Remember, your DR is waiting for you—it’s time to take that leap! :)

#reality shifting #shifters #permashifting #shifting community #scripting #shifting advice #shifting motivation #shifting reality #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifting consciousness #shifting antis dni #shifting diary #shifting to hogwarts #shifting stories #subconscious #pure consciousness #shifting

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peachiejeongin · 2 days ago

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Christmas with Stray Kids! | OT8

Day 12 of the 12 Days of Staymas!

Synopsis: Scenarios on spending Christmas with Stray Kids!

Pairing: ot8!SKZ x reader

Genre: Fluff!

Warnings: None!

Notice: On the twelfth day of Staymas, PeachieJeongin got sad because this is the end of the Christmas fictions :( Nevertheless, my loves, I hope you all have enjoyed this "series" as much as I have! This may or may not be an annual writing, so stay tuned for next year ;) Without further ado, enjoy the headcannons and have a holly, jolly Christmas! XOXO, PeachieJeongin :)

Bang Chan:

・❥ Chan is the type to wake up early on Christmas morning, eager to make the day special!

・❥ You would wake up to the faint scent of coffee or hot chocolate he has already prepared, along with a cozy Christmas breakfast spread of pancakes, bacon, and perhaps a few festive treats.

・❥ Before the two of you open presents, Chan would insist on staying in pajamas all morning; preferably, he would want to wear matching pajamas in a Christmas-esque pattern.

・❥ Chan is a thoughtful gift-giver. He would choose presents that reflect how much he listens to you and how well he knows you. Expect things that feel incredibly personal, like a handmade scrapbook filled with his favorite memories of your relationship or a custom necklace engraved with something meaningful.

・❥ He would also give you something practical that makes your life easier, such as a cozy heated blanket or a technological gadget you have been eyeing.

・❥ To top it off, there would be a fun or silly gift to make you laugh, like a plushie of your favorite animal, a gag gift referencing an inside joke, or an over-the-top designed sweater.

・❥ After opening gifts, he would suggest cozying up on the couch for a little while, basking in the "Christmas energy," as he claims. Truly, it is just a rooze to get you to cuddle with him before it is time for Christmas dinner.

・❥ For Christmas dinner itself, he would go for something simple, yet meaningful. He would opt for a homemade dinner where you both cook together. You would laugh and taste test as you go, sneaking kisses between stirring pots and setting the table.

・❥ If you are celebrating with the rest of Stray Kids, Chan would take on the role of the mediator, as he always does. He would make sure everyone is happy, fed, and enjoying the day!

・❥ Overall, Chan on Christmas is warm, thoughtful, and full of love. He always makes sure the day is as magical for you as it is for him.

Lee Know:

・❥ Lee Know is not the type to wake up super early, but once he is up, he is all in for Christmas!

・❥ You would likely wake up to him snuggling closer, and you would make a cheeky comment like, "I think Santa came, Minnie." He would just snuggle closer to you, mumbling something like, "Five more minutes."

・❥ When he does eventually get up, he would play it cool, but you would catch him stealing glances at the Christmas presents, anxious to open all of his gifts.

・❥ Expect a breakfast that is more indulgent than normal; he would whip up something simple yet delicious, like French toast or waffles, with extra whipped cream or powdered sugar. He would claim he made it so sweet so you could feel the hyperactivity of the holiday.

・❥ Lee Know's gifts are carefully chosen; he would get you something you have mentioned in passing, like a piece of clothing, a skincare set, or a hobby related item, which shows you that he is always paying attention even if you believe he is not.

・❥ He would also get you something small but incredibly personal, like a framed photo of the two of you or a handwritten letter.

・❥ If you are a pet lover, his cat dad instincts would kick in. His gift may include something adorable for your pet, such as a sweater or chew toy. If you do not have a pet, he would get you a plushie that looks suspiciously like one of his cats.

・❥ If you gave him a heartfelt gift, he would act nonchalant at first, but later, you would catch him looking at the gift longingly and smiling when he thinks you are not looking.

・❥ In true Lee Know fashion, this boy would tease you all day long, especially about how excited you are for Christmas. He would make comments about you being like a child, but he would secretly light up whenever he saw you enthusiastic about the day.

・❥ Christmas dinner is important to Lee Know. If it is a family or group gathering, he would be a little reserved but still attentive, making sure you are comfortable and sneaking you brief smiles across the table.

・❥ If it is just the two of you, he would either cook a traditional meal by himself or suggest ordering something from a nice restaurant. He just wants to avoid having to clean up a huge mess in the kitchen at the end of the night.

・❥ Lee Know on Christmas is equal parts playful and tender, balancing his tease with moments that remind you of his gentle care.

Changbin:

・❥ Changbin would sleep in a little later than usual, only because he stayed up late on Christmas Eve finishing up last-minute wrapping.

・❥ He would wake up excited, bouncing out of bed and immediately shaking you awake screaming, "It's Christmas!" before dragging you to the living room like a little kid.

・❥ Presents first, breakfast second. He would watch intently as you opened your presents, grinning from ear to ear at your jolly reactions.

・❥ Changbin's gifts reflect his personality: thoughtful but funny. He would most likely get you something entirely surprising, like a pair of concert tickets or a surprise weekend getaway to a city you have been wanting to travel to.

・❥ If you are into fitness, he may gift you some cool workout gear so you can train together.

・❥ He would also spoil you with cozy items, like oversized hoodies or fluffy blankets, for whenever you feel like having a lazy day.

・❥ No matter the gift you got him, he would be genuinely touched. His reactions may be a bit over-the-top depending on the present, but if they come from you, he would love them nevertheless.

・❥ Changbin would probably suggest building a gingerbread house together, which would turn into a chaotic mess of icing fights and him eating half of the candy before it can even reach the house (see Frosting Feuds for reference ;) )

・❥ If you are having Christmas dinner with family or friends, he would be the life of the party, cracking jokes and making everyone laugh while including you in all of the fun.

・❥ If it is just the two of you, he would suggest ordering out because the day has worn him out, even though all he has done is open gifts, and he does not feel like cooking.

・❥ While waiting for the food, Changbin would delve into discussion about his favorite childhood Christmas memories, bringing a soft and nostalgic vibe to the evening.

・❥ After dinner, Changbin would insist on a movie marathon. He would pick classics, such as 'Elf' or 'Home Alone.'

・❥ He would absolutely fall asleep in your arms during the movies, mumbling to himself about how this was the best Christmas ever.

Hyunjin:

・❥ Hyunjin would wake up slowly, a way to savor the magic of Christmas morning. He would pull you close, mumbling something about how sweet it is to spend the holidays together.

・❥ He would suggest that the two of you sleep for just a little longer; after all, you have the whole day, so why rush it?

・❥ Once awake, he would take his time preparing a cozy breakfast for both of you; it would most likely be something artistic, like perfectly plated fruit or pancakes/waffles decorated with powdered sugar that he would call "snow."

・❥ He is not the type to rush into opening gifts. He would want to sit by the fireplace at first, taking in the morning's moment before unwrapping presents.

・❥ Hyunjin's gifts would be deeply sentimental and emotional. He would probably create something, such as a painting inspired by a favorite memory together or a hand-drawn card with a heartfelt letter inside.

・❥ His gifts would also be on the luxurious side. He would spoil you with a piece of jewelry or an elegant bag that he picked out specifically to suit your style.

・❥ He would absolutely want to do something creative, like designing Christmas cards for family members and friends or painting a festive scene together.

・❥ If you are not as artistic, he would guide you, holding your hand as you attempt to paint, and laughing softly when it turns out a little messier than intended.

・❥ Hyunjin would enjoy planning a more intimate dinner for just you two, complete with soft lighting, a festive playlist, and an attempt to cook something fancy.

・❥ If you are celebrating with others, he would focus intently on you, making sure you feel included in the festivities.

・❥ To end the night, Hyunjin would also insist on a cozy photoshoot, making sure the lighting is solemn yet soft before taking a mix of sweet and silly photos to comemorate the day.

・❥ As you doze off beside him, he would sketch a scene of the Christmas tree quietly, inspired by the perfection of the day. He would give you the work in the morning when he was done, claiming it to be a late present.

・❥ Christmas with Hyunjin would be full of beauty, warmth, and sentimentality, making you feel as if you are living in a fairy tale.

Han:

・❥ Han would wake up early, practically vibrating with excitement. He would hesitate to wake you up, though, instead amusing himself by scrolling through his phone or singing carols under his breath.

・❥ Eventually, his impatience would win, and he would gently poke your cheek, whispering, "It's Christmas!" until you groggily join him on the enthusiasm.

・❥ He would race to the Christmas tree like a little kid, eagerly pulling you along, and insist on opening presents right away, barely able to contain his curiosity about what you got him.

・❥ You would literally have to remind this boy that he has to eat breakfast first...

・❥ Speaking of, breakfast would be haphazard but fun, like snowman-shaped pancakes.

・❥ His reactions would be over the top, with loud gasps, dramatic "thank yous," and a goofy grin plastered on his face.

・❥ Han's gifts would be quirky but reflective. He would most likely compose a song, comprised of lyrics about your relationship and including funny memories in some of the backup vocals.

・❥ He would also throw in something silly, like a novelty mug with a cheesy joke. It would come with a heartfelt explanation like, "This reminds me of when you..."

・❥ Han would surprise you throughout the day with little "pranks" throughout the day, like putting a large, ridiculous bow on his head and declaring himself your "best Christmas present."

・❥ If you are celebrating with friends or family, Han would bring the energy, making jokes and overall being Han! He would also brag about your cooking skills, even if you were not the one who made the meal.

・❥ If it is just the two of you, he would suggest ordering out because, "It's Christmas! We shouldn't have to cook!" You would end up feasting on your favorite comfort foods while sitting on the couch in your pajamas.

・❥ Han would absolutely initiate a mini concert in the living room, pulling out a guitar, or using anything he could find as a microphone, and performing hilarious dramatic reenactments of Christmas classics.

・❥ Han's Christmas would be full of energy but just as sentimental.

Felix:

・❥ Felix would wake up early, but would not rush you. Instead, he would take a moment to admire how peaceful you look while sleeping, grateful that he gets to awaken next to you on Christmas.

・❥ When you finally stir, he would great you with a soft, "Merry Christmas, my love," and a warm hug, burying his face in your neck for a few extra seconds of coziness.

・❥ You would wake up to the smell of freshly baked breakfast treats, such as cinnamon rolls, since Felix would have started his day in the kitchen to make a perfect, festive breakfast.

・❥ Before opening presents, he would insist on savoring breakfast together by the tree, wrapping you both up in a large, fluffy blanket while you eat and sip hot chocolate.

・❥ Felix's gifts would be nothing short of heartfelt. He may knit you a scarf or bake you a tin of cookies decorated with your favorite colors or movie characters.

・❥ He would also spoil you with something expensive, yet practical, like a high-quality sweater or a charm-bracelet.

・❥ As a playful touch, he would add in something nostalgic, such as a plushie or game you loved as a child, just to see your face light up with joy.

・❥ Felix would be incredibly thoughtful if you are celebrating Christmas in a group, making sure everyone feels comfortable and full from the food.

・❥ If it is just you two, he would go all out in the kitchen, preparing a fancy, yet comforting meal. He would plate it like a chef on a cooking show, grinning proudly as he sets the table in front of you.

・❥ At some point, Felix would set up his gaming devices for a "cozy gaming session." He would pretend to go easy only to get hilariously competitive halfway through a round of Mario Kart.

・❥ He would absolutely sneak up behind you at random moments to softly kiss you, cheekily commenting how he "though he saw mistletoe."

・❥ Before bed, Felix would get sentimental, holding your hands in his and thanking you for making the holiday so special. He may even tear up slightly as he tells you how much he cherishes you.

Seungmin:

・❥ Seungmin would wake up at a reasonable hour, greeting you with a sleepy but soft, "Merry Christmas," and immediately teasing you for being more excited than him.

・❥ He would prefer to start the day with breakfast before presents, even if it is something simple such as toast and coffee. He would probably prepare it himself and plate it carefully.

・❥ Seungmin would be methodical with presents, opening one at a time and paying close attention to your reactions as you open his gifts.

・❥ His gifts would be endearing mixed with applicable. He would get you something you have been needing or casually mentioned wanting months ago, showing how he remembers the smallest of details about you.

・❥ He would have a singular gift referencing an inside joke just to make you chuckle, as well.

・❥ He would have a subtle, proud smile if you love what he got you, but he would still find a way to cheekily make fun, saying "Of course you like it. I have taste."

・❥ If you suggest singing Christmas songs together, he would roll his eyes but eventually cave. His voice would be so beautiful and warm that you would stop singing just to listen, making him blush as he asks why you are staring at him.

・❥ Seungmin would keep dinner simple but cozy. If it is just the two of you dining, he would prefer a homemade meal, perhaps working together to cook. He would also sneak tastes of whatever you are making and pretend to judge your technique.

・❥ If you are with friends or family, he would be polite and a little reserved, but would sneak glances your way, smiling softly whenever your eyes meet.

・❥ He would insist on a proper dessert as well, such as pie, cake, or cookies, teasing you if you felt too full to eat sweets.

・❥ Seungmin would want to spend the evening quietly. He would suggest reading a book together, playing a board game, or watching a holiday movie.

・❥ Honestly, most of the day would be spent besides the Christmas tree or fireplace; Seungmin loves the soft glow of either reflecting in your eyes as you ramble about whatever that day.

・❥ Before bed, he would pull you into a warm hug, resting his chin on your head and whispering, "Thanks for making today so perfect. Just don't snore too loud tonight."

Jeongin:

・❥ Jeongin would wake up early, excited but attempting to act calm about Christmas morning. He would lean over to check if you are awake, and casually ask, "So are we doing presents or what?"

・❥ He would practically drag you out of bed and over to the tree, insisting you both wear Santa hats or something festive for the "full Christmas experience."

・❥ Honestly, this boy would forget all about breakfast.

・❥ His gifts are a mix of heartwarming and goofy. He would get you something meaningful, like a keepsake that ties into a favorite memory. For example, if one of your first dates was a concert, he would get you a laminated version of the concert ticket.

・❥ He would also include something trendy or fashionable, like a cozy sweater or a new pair of sneakers that he thinks would look amazing on you. Bonus points if it matches his own style so you can coordinate outfits.

・❥ There would be the playful side to his gifts as well, like a quirky gadget or something silly he knows will make you cackle.

・❥ At some point in the day, he would pull out his phone to record a short vlog of the day's highlights, grinning as he says, "I want to remember this Christmas forever."

・❥ He would absolutely sneak a surprise gift under the tree that he would not let you open until the very end of the day. It would be a small present, but just as meaningful, like a handwritten note or a necklace that symbolizes your time together.

・❥ He would also spend part of the day FaceTiming or texting his family to keep up with them on the holiday! He would even pass the phone your way so they can say hello to you.

・❥ If you are with friends or family, Jeongin would charm everyone with his bright and easygoing nature. He would probably sneak his way into grabbing extra helpings of certain dishes due to his kind, innocent personality.

・❥ If it was an independent sort of Christmas, Jeongin would want to make the meal fun and stress free. Whether it is ordering takeout or making a simple comfort food, he would prioritize time together over a fancy tradition.

・❥ Before bed, Jeongin would snuggle up to you by the fireplace, wrapping an arm around you and declaring that this was the best Christmas of his twenty-three years.

---

Taglist:@velvetmoonlght, @amararosesblog (If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!)

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sebastienlelivre · 2 days ago

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if we make it through december (we'll be fine)

bucktommy | fix-it | 3k words | rated G (ao3 link in the source)

Buck was exhausted, 48 hours covering Christmas Eve and Christmas Day because everyone deserved to have time to spend with their families, and sure, the Buckley-Han-Wilson Christmas Extravaganza had probably been the best party ever, the person Buck had wanted, had planned on spending Christmas with had decided Buck wasn't worth it. But now he was left with four days off after a rough shift and unused, sad-looking Christmas decorations dotting the loft. He dumped his duffle bag at the door and tugged one strand of garland down that he didn't even have the energy to bundle up to be packed away as he dropped it on the island.

Buck pressed his hands against the edges of the island, head bowed, letting the exhaustion seep into him. He could fall asleep standing up, he was that tired, but a knock on the door made him lift his head. His eyes were narrowed in confusion when he went to answer it, Hen and Chim and Bobby were on shift, Eddie was, as far as Buck knew, settling in quite happily in El Paso. There was no one else....

"Oh," he breathed as he looked through the peephole and took an involuntary step back at the sight of Tommy on the other side of the door.

Buck hesitated, just for a moment, before he reached out and opened the door just as Tommy seemed to be stepping away, his expression sad, scared, and just as tired as Buck felt.

"Ev-...Buck," Tommy said, turning, his hands gripping a small, brightly wrapped present.

Buck blinked, frowning, and he greeted in return, "Thomas." Tommy's eyes narrowed at that before shaking his head slightly.

"I. Um. I was working yesterday, but...," Tommy said as he pressed the present in his hands closer to Buck. He exhaled, his shoulders deflating a bit more. He seemed smaller to Buck, his shoulders curved in like it was intentional, and Buck looked down at the present. He shook his head, looking back up at Tommy. "I bought it before...before," and there was a hesitation there, like Tommy couldn't bring himself to actually say what happened.

"Before you blew up our relationship?" Buck supplied, his eyebrows lifting slightly like he was actually helping.

"Yeah, yes," Tommy said, rubbing the back of his neck as he practically breathed the words. He pushed the present at Buck again, but Buck didn't take it. Instead he reached out, his hand grabbing Tommy's wrist and tugging him forward almost through the doorway. Tommy was off balance, and he stumbled, but his hand came up to grip Buck's other arm to steady himself. Once Buck was sure he wasn't going to fall, he pulled Tommy the rest of the way into the apartment, shutting the door behind them both. He took the present from Tommy's hand and set it on the island next to the discarded garland. "Bu-...."

"I'm going to bed," Buck said, cutting off that stupid name from Tommy's mouth, the sound of it still made his skin crawl, and he moved toward the stairs up to his bedroom. "Sleep on the couch, I've got an inflatable mattress in the closet if that would be more comfortable."

"Buck," Tommy protested.

He turned to face him, shaking his head. "When you stop calling me that I'll listen to what you have to say," he explained, "But I've been awake for two days straight, and, I think, you have too?" Buck looked at Tommy until he nodded slightly in agreement. "You are going to be here when I wake up, and we are going to talk."

Tommy exhaled, looking around for a moment before he shook his head. "We'd both be more comfortable if I leave. I'll...I'll come back and we can talk all you want."

"No," Buck said, his voice firm, as moved away from the stairs and toward the coat closet. He pulled out the pillow and the blanket from where they had shoved them after Billy Boils, and he pushed them into Tommy's arms. "If you leave," Buck took a breath that shook before he continued, lifting his chin and trying to steady himself, "Then that's it." He met Tommy's eyes evenly. "If you leave, then don't come back, I won't answer the door." He nodded slightly before turning and trudging up the stairs.

Buck focused on stripping down, on grabbing his own sleeping clothes, and trying not to listen for movement downstairs. He pulled the blankets on his bed back and slid inside, curling on his side with his back to the stairs.

He fell asleep, comforted by the fact that he hadn't heard the door.

The loft was completely silent when Buck woke up. He checked his phone and saw it was just before noon. Barely six hours of sleep, and it wasn't nearly enough. He held his breath, listening closely, and very, very faintly, he heard movement in the lower level. Buck let out that breath, laughing a little, mostly out of relief. He had worried...worried that his ultimatum had been too much, that once again Tommy had decided that he wasn't worth the trouble. He rolled out of bed, heading to the bathroom to pee and wash up before grabbing a hoodie to stave off the cold of the loft. He made his way to the stairs, and sat down half way down as he watched Tommy moving silently through the kitchen.

He was dressed in just his undershirt and his underwear, having stripped off his henley and jeans to sleep, and Buck watched him move around the loft as he felt a happy warmth settle in his belly. He had missed this, missed waking up to this, and the fact that it wasn't his hit him suddenly, his heart clenching and tears stinging at his eyes. He shook his head and pushed himself to his feet moving down to sit at the island.

"You don't have to cook," Buck said finally as he watched Tommy stir the pot.

Buck watched Tommy take a deep breath, not turning around as he said, "What else was I supposed to do? I thought about taking down the decorations, but that's...."

"Not your place," Buck finished, and Tommy turned slightly before nodding just a little. "Probably couldn't do it quietly anyway." Tommy shook his head as he turned and poured Buck a cup of coffee, and he watched in silence as Tommy prepared the coffee exactly how Buck liked it, and the domesticity of that made his heart hurt even more. He placed the cup of coffee in front of Buck just as Buck got to his feet and went back upstairs without a word. Tommy called out his name as a question, the name that set Buck's teeth on edge, but Buck ignored him as he dug around in his dresser for the gift he had bought just after Halloween when he thought things were great, when he thought things were going so well, and he carried it downstairs.

It was unwrapped, still in the white box it had been packed in when he bought it, and he set it down on the island next to the present Tommy had bought. Buck shrugged slightly when Tommy turned and looked down at it in confusion, "You weren't the only one who shops early."

"Evan," Tommy said, the word coming out in a breath.

"So you do remember," Buck replied, and Tommy exhaled at him, shaking his head and turning back to the food. Buck stayed silent, watching the movement of Tommy's muscles as he worked, and finally he broke the silence with, "You didn't give me a chance."

"Buck."

"Thomas." Tommy took a deep breath, turning the stove off as he turned around, leaning back against the counter. "You left, and you didn't give me a chance to respond. I mean, I-I should have followed you. I should have argued. Right then I should have...I should have done something."

"I. I don't know that it would have mattered," Tommy said. His hands were pressed hard against the counter, the knuckles turning white, and Buck wondered if he was having the same difficulty staying away, but that was a pipe dream almost certainly.

"Because you hate me now," Buck said, and he tried to make it seem like a joke, like it was self-deprecating, like it wasn't serious, but that was the truth of the weight that had settled on Buck since Tommy had left. Buck had done something, and now Tommy wanted nothing to do with him.

"I don't hate you, Buck." See? He couldn't even say Buck's name right.

"Thomas," Buck interrupted, and Tommy exhaled at him.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"It's your name, isn't it? Since we're not using nicknames anymore."

Tommy took a deep breath, looking up at Buck and then looking away, shaking his head. "'Buck' is your nickname."

"Yes," Buck said, pointing his finger at Tommy for emphasis. "And you're not supposed to call me that."

"Evan," and once again Tommy breathed his name, and yes, it sounded like Buck was annoying him, but it also sounded fond, and for a moment, Buck just let that warmth, that fondness, settle into him.

"There you go," Buck said, stepping around the island to lean back against it, not quite right in front of Tommy but close.

They stood there in silence for a long moment, and Buck didn't mean to, but his breathing matched Tommy's for several seconds before Tommy finally took a breath to speak. "Your apartment isn't big enough for two, Evan." Buck looked around in confusion, shaking his head, but Tommy held up a hand to cut off any protests. "My place isn't any better, you have an entire life here, I have an entire life there, it wouldn't fit."

"We could have talked it out! We could have discussed what we need two of, what we don't, we could have talked about getting a different place, we could have talked," Buck argued, taking a step forward before forcing himself back to press his back against the island. "But you didn't give me the chance."

"I couldn't." Tommy's smile was sad when he lifted his head to look at Buck.

"I always do this. I-I'm too much, I do too much, I go too fast, except...." Buck took a deep, but shaky breath, before he continued, "I don't actually, I've never been this all in." He moved closer to Tommy and didn't back away this time. "But you...I love you so much that I want everything."

"Evan," Tommy said, but Buck shook his head.

"I want to live with you, I want to get married to you, a-and have kids," Buck waved his hand, laughing as he shook his head, "Adopt kids, but I want a family with you. And I've never...." Buck smiled, breathlessly as he trailed off, "I've never wanted that with anyone. Until you. Not even Abby, just you."

"That's the problem, Evan."

"It's not a problem, Tommy, it's really not."

Tommy rubbed a hand over his face. "It will be." He nodded slightly before he looked down. They fell silent again, Tommy's words hanging between them. "You thanked me for gay marriage, Evan." Tommy shook his head again, looking up at Buck. "I asked Abby to marry me the year that was legalized, I was still too terrified to be myself, and you...." Tommy swallowed deeply, and he offered a very small smile that didn't entirely reach his eyes, "And that moment, you stopped looking at me like I was your boyfriend. You thanked me for legalizing our ability to get married, and you were looking at me like I-I was some kind of gay Yoda."

Buck blinked at him. "I don't know what that means." Tommy looked at him in confusion, and Buck snorted. "Star Wars, right? I fell asleep during the first one so Chim didn't bother with the rest," he explained with a shrug, and then he waved the words away with a hand. "That wasn't...." He looked up at Tommy, and he actually took a step forward and didn't immediately step back. "I was trying to point out that maybe it was too fast, but I wasn't....I was trying to make sure you didn't feel pressured."

"You never pressured me, Evan," Tommy said, finally taking his hands off the counter and stepping forward as well. "But I could see everything very clearly. We would settle in together, and that would be the catch. You would be settling. You would eventually want something else, someone better, and that would break me." Buck opened his mouth to protest. "It would, Evan. I was already in love with you, and the longer it went, the deeper I would fall, and...." Tommy trailed off with a laugh that sounded bitter. "I'm barely making it now."

"You love me too?" That wasn't the important part, and Buck knew that, and the breath Tommy took in response was the only answer he needed. "Do you know what I want? What I really want?" Tommy creased his forehead in confusion, but he nodded in encouragement for Buck to continue. "I want people to stop making decisions for me." He stepped closer to Tommy. "You decide I don't know what I want, Eddie and Hen, even Bobby, they all decide I can't text you, and my own sister says I just need to meet someone special to get my mind off you, but I've already met someone special, someone I want." He looked at Tommy, tilting his head slightly. "It's not settling, not for me."

"Evan."

"I've dated a lot of women, Tommy, and yeah, you're my first boyfriend, but I don't need to date anyone else to know what I feel, what I need, what I want. And that's you, and yeah, maybe in two years or ten, we break up, but I could die on our next call, or your helicopter could crash, or the entire state falls into the ocean and we never get to say goodbye," Buck offered a small smile when he said that, "But I meant what I said. It's better to be together than to ever be apart." Tommy took a step toward Buck again, and Buck moved to meet him, reaching out to take his wrist. "There's always going to be a chance for heartbreak, Tommy, I can't promise otherwise, but it's worth it isn't it? This?" He gestured between the two of them. "Us, we're worth it, yeah?"

Tommy turned his wrist, sliding his hand through Buck's grip until he was clutching his fingers gently. "Evan, there's still....I'm not a good person."

Buck shook his head. "I know how it was before, how you were before with Gerrard, you've become a better person." He used Tommy's hold on his hand to pull Tommy closer to him, close enough he could feel the body heat of him. "We've all got work to do on ourselves."

Tommy turned his head slightly so that his nose nuzzled against Buck's temple. "Are you suggesting couples therapy, Evan?" Buck couldn't really tell if he was joking or not, but he shrugged anyway.

"Maybe," Buck said, lifting his head to nuzzle against Tommy's chin. "Maybe we need to start over." Tommy pulled back to blink at him, and Buck smirked a little. "Hi, I'm Evan Buckley, I've only recently figured out I'm bisexual, and you're really hot," he said, laughter in his voice, and Tommy rolled his eyes, shaking his head slightly. "I still owe you a beer."

That got a laugh out of Tommy finally. "We're not going to Miceli's again."

"I've got pretty good Lakers tickets though, if you're interested, it's on New Year's Eve, so you may already have plans," Buck offered, angling his mouth up to press a kiss to Tommy's jaw.

Tommy took a breath, turning to study Buck for a moment. "No, there's no plans," and Buck smiled at that. "That can't be our first date, though, that's too big."

"You're already cooking for me," Buck offered, and he laughed when Tommy gave him a look. "Dinner, then, tonight. Not Miceli's, there's a new sushi place that opened not far from the station, I've been wanting to try it."

Tommy chewed on his lower lip for a moment before nodding. "Okay. We'll start over." He tugged on Buck's head, moving him just a few inches closer. "We'll go slower this time. We'll actually talk about everything we should have talked about before. We'll even go to therapy, or I will and you can come too if the doctor calls for it?" Tommy lifted his eyebrows in a question, and Buck nodded. "Okay, then," and that got him a bright, happy smile, and Tommy's breath caught at the sight.

"I love you. I should have said that before I asked you to move in, I know, and I'm going to say it as often as I can. I'm saying it now before we go on our first date again so you know that I am in this," Buck said, stepping as close to Tommy as he could, his body pressed against Tommy's. "I will not run, and this time...this time I will chase you if you run."

Tommy looked at him then, just breathing as he reached up and traced a finger over Buck's birthmark and down his cheek, before he nodded. "I will hold you to that," he said as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Buck's, sealing the conversation with a kiss. Buck pressed closer, letting out his breath against Tommy's mouth as he did. He moved back from Tommy then, keeping hold of his hand as he pulled him toward the stairs. "Evan," Tommy protested.

"We both need more sleep," Buck replied. Tommy tried to stay still, but Buck was determined and he tugged Tommy close again. "Just sleep, we'll both keep our clothes on, I swear it."

Tommy huffed a laugh and allowed himself to be pulled forward.

#911 #bucktommy #911 fic #bucktommy fic #my fic!

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tcrocky14 · 2 days ago

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ONESHOT: MERRILY ALONG—tennis! star x Paige

((Okay I’ve been writing on Wattpad and never thought to put my work on tumblr so here we go! Plz be gentle I’m still new at this but I love manifesting life with P))

———————————————————————————-

After the 2024 WTA Finals(which you won) you were excited for a real break. Grant you it's less than a month, and most of that will be spent doing sponsorship work and photo shoots, but you still couldn't wait.

After winning the Finals, you hopped on a plane to Miami still wearing your photo shoot dress from winner's photos. You were so excited to be sleeping on your own bed and to see your family. Life could slow down at least a little before you were back on Tour.

You were given two weeks to truly rest and exercise like a normal person before training would start back. You planned to visit Paige, but her season at UCONN was really just beginning. The timing couldn't have been worse but you knew she felt most comfortable on the court, just like you.

Since college basketball was firing up, her name was beginning to really skyrocket in the press. And her partnerships were increasing too. With you as the highest paid athlete in women's sports and P as the highest paid CWBB player, you were unstoppable!

Her shoe with Nike just dropped and you genuinely cried the day every player for UCONN wore them at their game! You wish you could wear them for a day for support but New Balance is your shoe home. It's so surreal that P has a shoe while in college but you believe she's always meant to break records and set trends. You're just happy the world mainly agrees with you on that.

On December 21st, UCONN & USC play each other, at arguably the biggest game of the year. You knew you wanted to be there because everyone's eyes would be on Paige and JuJu, which could get stressful. Maybe having you there as moral support would make it a bit better . She's born for the world stage, but that doesn't mean you don't worry about her mental health.

You promised your team that you'd be back in Miami right after Christmas. They wanted you to play United Cup, especially since you didn't plan on defending the ASB Classic title , but you were prioritizing your relationship....for once.

This is Paige's (likely) last year in college and you want to be there for her. There's so many moments you both have to miss because of your athletic careers, and it's easy to feel disconnected when you're constantly in different time zones. Once she's in the WNBA, it'll hopefully be more flexible and you'll spend more time together.

But for now, you weren't going to miss big moments for a WTA250 or United Cup. Your team wasn't the happiest about your plans, and tried convincing you to change your mind. But it was already set: you'd fly to Storrs, CT that day and watch Paige. Then you'd both fly out to Minnesota to see her family for Christmas. Her next game is the 27th so you'll fly back to Miami while she goes back to school. Even a few days together has you anxious to remind her exactly why being long distance is worth it.

You haven't told her, but you've picked out the perfect presents for her dad, stepmom, and Drew. You've also found something for your perfect gf. Drew has a game of his own the very day after her game, so you guys will be jet-lagged but supporting him. You've met Paige's family a few times now but you still feel jittery before arriving. You don't know why because they're the nicest people, yet you always want to show you're a great girlfriend with good energy.

——————-

You were still in Miami trying to pick out what you could wear to the game Saturday. It was Thursday night so you needed to start packing, especially since you wanted to pack light. Living life basically out of a suitcase made packing during the offseason a disgusting experience. The less you had to travel the better, yet it seemed you were never home for more than a few days. The life of a "celebrity" was taxing and companies knew offseason was a better time for your brand dealings. You wished you could do photo shoots from home but you try to remember how many people would KILL to be in your position.

For the game, you're thinking of a look you saw Bella Hadid wear a few years back. A green NorthFace jacket with black barrel jeans and black loafers. You'll definitely be wearing your glasses to the game for an even more comfortable experience. Then, for traveling to Minnesota and for Drew's game you'll wear an oversized grey New Balance sweatshirt with sweatpants and a camo hat. Cute-comfy— your favorite!

You began folding the clothes not so neatly when your sister came in. She's back home from Tulane for the holidays and you're really going to miss her the few days you're gone. Having a younger sister is one of the best things in life and you miss when she's away for college. Although you guys text and call each other almost everyday it's different when she's in person.

"Whatcha doing??," Anna asked, using her best Isabella voice from Phineas and Ferb. "Packing for my trip and failing to fold my clothes neatly," you said. You're definitely going to need a steamer when you travel because your clothes are going to be wrinkled from this lazy folding.

"I wish I could come with you!" Anna said. And honestly, if it was just to watch the game, you'd for sure bring your sister along. But Christmas at the Bueckers' house is for their family only and you're just getting used to joining.

Most of the time, Paige visits your family because she loves the Miami weather and enjoys the area. It's difficult in Minnesota when it's cold more often than not and her family has normal jobs .

The Heller family feels like it orbits your tennis career, something you wish wasn't true but definitely is. Tennis is so demanding, even compared to other sports, and your family has sacrificed a lot for you to continue being a top player. Basketball is difficult and can be expensive, but college helps ease the journey a lot. While Paige is at UCONN her family still maintains a normal life. While for you, the matches and your traveling schedule can affect everything.

That's why this Christmas is so special. You have a few days to hang out casually before the holiday and really soak it what being a Bueckers is like. You'd never tell anyone right now, but you're hoping this is practice for the rest of your life. Although it's only been a year, you picture growing with Paige and starting a family of your own. You look at people like Stewie and can't help but hope to have a little family of your own someday. Being in good cahoots with her family right now is important and luckily, it's been great so far

—————————

Friday passes quickly, thank God, because you leave for CT Saturday morning. The plane ride is a bit bumpy but it's the cold that stings the most. As soon as you step off the plane you're hit with the bite of a Connecticut winter. It felt weird boarding the plane in multiple layers but you're so happy you didn't dress Miami-Style for this trip.

Since it's the day of the game, Paige has practice most of the day. That means her good friend Kayla volunteers to pick you up, and you're very excited. As a fellow Black girl, you and Kayla get along too good. Each conversation leads to cackling and you even have a few inside jokes together. As much as KK and Ice are your girls, Kayla's super cool people. AND she's not on the team, so she can help with times like this!

You wait for your luggage and a teenager comes up asking for a picture. She seems shell-shocked from meeting you, something you never get used to. You're almost positive the picture will be on "Frances Heller" and "Paige Bueckers" fan accounts in the next hour. People will surely speculate but this is a big game, and who can blame you for wanting to see it in person?

You spot Kayla, or rather hear her music, right when you step outside the airport gate. She gets out to help with your luggage but you've only brought two carry-ons: your Glossier duffle and a New Balance black backpack. Like you said: packing light was key for this trip.

You guys catch up on all things life before pulling into the apartment complex Kayla and the girls live in. You go to text Paige you've made it but you see she's already texted that she's in practice, but can't wait to see you.

"She was obsessing over your location on the Find app," Kayla says. "She literally was refreshing it every second before they had practice even though SHE KNEW you were on the plane and undetectable."

Just hearing Paige's name makes your heart beat faster. It's corny, you know it is, but imagine being so in love with someone and NEVER getting to see them. You can literally count on your hands how often you and Paige see each other throughout the year and that's with big compromises in both schedules.

You go up to Kayla's apartment and patiently (very impatiently) wait for bball practice to be over. Since it's game day, there's one short-ish practice during the day and then real practice before game time. You mimic Paige and begin refreshing all the apps you guys communicate through: text, Snapchat, Find, anything to see whether she's out.

Eventually, her DND status on text goes away and Kayla has to watch you become an absolute fool as you wait for your girlfriend. Paige gets back and knocks on Kayla's door which you open with every cell in your body.

"FRANNY!" "SWEET P!" You two collide into one another with the same energy. The hug says: "I miss you, I love you, how are you?, all at once. It's like every event and moment that's been missed since the last time you've seen another culminated into a tight hug that lasts forever.

"I miss you so so so much Paige," you say, trying not to cry. You're not necessarily sad, just overwhelmed and relieved . You can feel in her hug that she must feel the same, and any insecurities from a long-distance relationship go away like a puff of smoke.

You go back to their apartment while Paige makes a quick snack. Once she's finished eating. She lets you know she misses you in another way. Thank goodness you can't detect blushing on your skin tone because you feel like you're about to burst into flames.

It's been SO LONG since you've been intimate with anything besides a silicone toy and you miss Paige's body. After her shower at the facilities, her hair is still wet and slightly curly. It's one of your favorite looks on her and doesn't help your desire to absolutely devour her.

She tries to casually insinuate your unexpected trip to the car but everyone knows what's going on. You'd rather have sweet moments in her bed, but it'd be unfair to her teammates/roommates. And you can't kick everyone out of the apartment either, totally not cool. So instead you head out to Paige's Grand Cherokee at an excited pace and allow her to drive you to the back of the parking lot.

It's still romantic with the snow falling and your tight space to work with. She turns on the warmers in the SUV and asks you to head to the backseats. Her playlist designed for these *moments* begins playing softly and you savor every minute in the backseat of her car....

———————-

Once you guys finished (no pun intended) you head (maybe a bit puny) back upstairs. You try taming your hair and fixing your swollen lips as best you can. But let's face it, the women in this apartment are going to absolutely clown you both.

"Oh y'all back? It's been almost an hour! Where'd you say y'all was going again??" Kk, per usual, is the first person to say something. Everyone else smirks to one another and Jana even films to put on her private SC later.

"We was busy." That's all Paige says as she blushes, smirks, and daps up Ice and KK. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as she exemplifies pure fukboy energy. You so badly want to hate it but it's kinda hot...which she definitely knows because she continues smirking in your direction. You sit next to her and try to redirect the conversation to ANYTHING else but it takes a minute.

They're superstitious about talking about the game so it's talk about your stuff instead. You tell them your plans with Paige for the next few days and how preseason warmups are coming along. Before you know it, everyone's getting up because it's time for pregame. You give Paige a million kisses as she gets ready to leave and then wait around until it's time to get dressed and leave.

—————-

You're not sure Paige would love your mode of transportation to the game but what else could you decide? Uber's are booked the entire way and the school shuttles are only for actual students. If you didn't have to show a school ID you would've hopped on or hoped a driver was being super nice but few have even passed. So instead, you're walking to the XL arena.

It's really not that far, so you don't mind the walk. Except for the fact that it's FREEZING. You can feel the inevitable sickness building in your body as you continue walking but that's what you do for love. You'd laugh at how ridiculous you feel, if you could feel your face.

Finally you get to the game and it's beyond packed. You knew it was a big game and sold out but it's bonkers trying to get inside. Even with a special pass you have to wait to get inside, letting the frost continue to harass you.

Once you make it inside you see a few girls get out their phones to video your entrance. It's weird, because you feel slightly conceded about it. But you also feel violated. And you never feel quite important enough to be taped walking into a gym. Yet here you are, and there's the phones capturing every moment.

You're not sitting courtside since that's reserved for paying members. Instead, you're a few rows up. Nothing crazy, but not on the ground. You realize how awkward you feel without somebody tagging along and wish you maybe would've brought your sister. Or even your twin Jack. But what would they do while you loved up on Paige all day?

So instead you got on your phone and waited for the starting lineup presentation. You filmed the whole thing and couldn't even hear the announcer say Paige's name because of the screams. It made you feel so special being Paige's girl when plenty of college girls, and adult women, fought for her attention. From shirts and fathead signs to homemade posters, it was obvious she grabbed people's attention.

From the moment the game began, UCONN had a difficult time. You didn't know why, but something just wasn't clicking that clearly worked better for USC. You really like JuJu Watkins and had a hard time rooting exclusively for UCONN, but your girl comes first.

After fighting tooth and nail they finally started coming back. With 8 seconds left, the game was only being won by two points . You knew how badly Paige wanted to win, with the country watching....if not the world. But sometimes, it's not just about who wants it. Being a super-senior meant Paige had some great highs and some lower-lows. This, would in fact, become a low.

—————

It was obvious how frustrated P was with herself. She was SO hard on herself, as most athletes are. But as the oldest on the team, she really felt like she was letting everyone down. You could see it in her demeanor and how she spoke to press. You only hoped she'd be able to see all the positives from the game and release herself from the pressure of it all. It's much easier than it looks though, you know from experience.

After speaking to Fox sports and Holly Rowe, Paige was making her way over to you. A literal LINE OF PEOPLE had formed while she was being interviewed who wanted to take pictures and get her autograph. You knew she wouldn't leave till everyone was satisfied, something you admired about her. Each person felt important in her eyes and she made sure to let them know. How lucky you were to be with someone so humble and kind to anyone.

She told the crowd to wait one sec as she walked over to your section. Now you really knew people would film this and talk about it for a while. But honestly , who cares. You were shocked she even saw you in the section because of how intense the game had been.

The security guard removed the tape so Paige could slip by and give you a big hug. You whispered in her ear that she was so amazing and you hoped she'd known how bright she shines on the court. She nodded but didn't seem affected by your words which kind of stung. You knew at least be a few hours had to pass before she was truly cheery again, right now was just a performance of her fans.

She asked you to wait around until they were leaving the arena and to join them on the team bus. You felt like this was a big overstep and didn't want to piss Geno off, especially after the loss. You made her promise it was fine and already approved before you agreed to join them on the bus.

The rest of the night was a blur until suddenly, you were laying on Paige's purple sheets with her head on your chest. You continued to stroke her head and tried falling asleep because your flight tomorrow was super early.

———————————-

At the airport, a few fans asked for pics with you and Paige. It was so funny how fans of Paige began "stanning" you like an extra piece to the Paige puzzle. At 5 in the AM you only could pray you didn't look awful in the fan photos since you knew that'd be on social media later. After taking pics you sat at the terminal and then boarded the plane. It really wasn't a bad experience, even with a connecting flight.

Paige's dad picked y'all up and you could tell she missed Minnesota. With the photoshoots and games and everything else she visited home less and less. When her dad got out of the car she turned into Baby P again, rushing to her dad's arms. It was so sweet and made you feel fuzzy that she collapsed in his hug. Maybe she was feeling better now!

Mr. Bueckers brought you into the hug and the three of you laughed as people watched. He was arguably the coolest guy in Minnesota besides Gov. Waltz. You guys left the airport and picked up Culver's on the way to Drew's game. Even with an early flight you guys were making it right on time.

Drew's game was so well and they won! Even better, Drew won MVP and got a comically large MVP chain to wear. You guys gassed him up hard and he blushed the entire time. It was cute seeing Paige loving on Drew like a child of her own. ...you really needed to stop thinking about Mommy P and focus lol.

——————-

Once Christmas rolled around, you'd gotten comfortable at the Bueckers house. The past few days had been so chill yet never boring. And you didn't feel like you were walking on eggshells around the family.

You wore an Oxford shirt with a sweater vest over it tucked into a plaid mini skirt with black tights. You looked adorable, like a Christmas present.

Y'all went to church and then headed home to unwrap presents. Drew wanted to open presents before Mass but it was way too early for that.

You got Paige's parents a gift they'd told her about a while back, a bar cart and a Baristia machine to make cocktails. Drew got a new game for his PS5 and promised to play with you whenever you were in town.

For Paige, you got her a custom stack of cards with paintings of you guys on it. She always loved sentimental gifts more than expensive ones and she really liked this! You also gave her a Tiffany necklace similar to yours with F+P engraved inside. She put it on and never took it off, even to sleep.

————

After a full day of festivities and meeting a few Bueckers you'd never met, it was time to go to bed. It was hard to fall asleep because tomorrow, you'd be on your way back to Miami and she'd be going back to UCONN. These few days were so good, you wish you could bottle them up for when you miss her most.

Right before you start falling asleep she tells you she has one more gift for you. She reaches in her bag and pulls out the most adorable stuffed bunny in a Christmas outfit. She gives you the bunny and tells you to press on her paw. When you do, Paige's voice starts to speak.

"Anytime you miss me, just press the paw, and I'll be right there!" She gives you the cutest little smile while she waits to see if you like her extra gift. "ALSO, I sprayed her clothes with some of my perfume, so hopefully she'll smell like me for a while too."

You try not to cry your eyes out at the audacity of your girlfriend to be so sweet. You never would've thought of such a unique and kind gift.

"Thank you so much Paige, I love it!" You see her relax a bit at her successful gift. "I can't believe you're real sometimes, you're too good to me!"

You don't meant to sound insecure or anything, but she shuts anything like that down. "I'm so happy we're together Franny, I'd go to the moon for you."

"Maybe even the North Pole?" You joke, since it's Christmas.

"I go to college in the middle of nowhere Connecticut Frances, that's basically the North Pole."

You two laugh and then settle into a comfortable sleeping pattern. You know tomorrow you'll have to say goodbye at least for 2-3 months. But right now, you can't think of a life without Paige Bueckers in it.

——-❤️‍🔥END❤️‍🔥——-

🎄Happy Holidays!

#paige bueckers #paigebueckersfluff #bueckers #paige bueckers x y/n #paige bueckers x reader #tennis

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unknownperson246 · 2 days ago

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a/n: Izzy with a girlfriend that has big boobs (like E cup bc I be struggling to survive out here with these things) and he kind of has a thing for them. One night he takes her out with him and the band to a bar and he slowly notices that his bandmates keep staring at her boobs, and eventually (I'mma say Axl does this bc he seems like the type) Axl makes an extremely perverted joke regarding her boobs and it irritates Izzy so much he drags reader home and rails her so hard her legs are shaking the next morning. Also can you write in that he leave hickeys on her yiddies maybe..? TY have an amazing day/night 😊

Dragged:

words: 690

warnings: *smut* *rough sex* *slight praise kink* *drinking (small drinks)*

✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ:*

You were embarrassed everywhere you went. It wasn’t embarrassment, it was just your shyness. You had a really big chest and a more than pleasant rack. You were always stared at by men wherever you went. Many women envied you not only because you were with a man that almost every woman wanted but because you had good looks. One night Izzy took you with him to a bar the band usually went to every Friday night.

“Hey babe, what do you want to drink?” He asked.

“Whatever you want to” You smiled slightly.

Izzy didn’t reply. Izzy knew you got nervous quite a bit and easily too. Maybe it was because there were so many people around at a bar on Friday night. You looked towards Steven and Slash. You caught them looking at your chest but you didn’t mind. You were so used to being stared at by perverted men. You just didn’t have the energy anymore to tell them to back off.

Izzy heard you mumble something about Slash and Steven but decided to ignore it. Izzy did not yet realize that everyone in his band was staring at you. The first time Izzy saw Duff look at your chest he ignored it because he thought Duff could’ve been staring at something else next to you. This time he caught all of the members looking at your chest at the same time.

Once they realized Izzy noticed they looked away immediately pretending they were doing something else. Axl started to speak. Axl said a perverted joke about your chest.

This was Izzy’s final straw. He did not like what Axl said about you. He got really mad. He got irritated. Before he even said anything he grabbed your arm and walked away from the group. He started to drag you to the car.

“Izzy, what’s gotten into you?” You ask softly and not annoyed so you don’t piss Izzy off more.

Izzy didn’t respond to your question.

“You know whatever happened wasn’t my fault right?” You told Izzy.

“Axl is just a perverted man,” You said to Izzy.

“Yeah, I know!” Izzy mumbled under his breath.

Izzy didn’t say anything for the rest of the car ride. As soon as you got inside the house he dragged you upstairs. You saw a bulge from underneath just by him being rough with you.

“Get upstairs and get ready to be fucked so good,” Izzy said.

You were left speechless and just did what he asked. You went upstairs preparing yourself for what Izzy was about to do to you. You dressed up in some lingerie and started to brush your teeth and your hair. Izzy came up to you and didn’t say anything; he just started to kiss your neck.

You kept touching his hard member to have more of an effect on him. You took his shirt off and he kept playing with both of your full and round tits. He started to kiss them super hard and you could feel yourself getting wet.

You thought you would have an orgasm off of him kissing your tits alone. He removed your shirt and bra. He removed your panties and you were embarrassingly wet.

“Fuck Izzy so good” You moaned.

With your words of confirmation, he just kept going and kept going.

You played with his hair. You felt disappointed when he took his hands off your tits. He started to unbuckle his pants.

“So wet for me darling.” Izzy sighed.

Izzy stuck his cock up inside of you. As he was thrusting up inside of you he played with your chest again. You noticed four hickeys on your tits.

“Izzy so good,” you moaned.

You held onto his shoulders while he did most of the work. You heard grunts and moans coming out of his mouth.

“Rail me so good baby” you moaned.

“Such a good girl,” Izzy said, playing with your hair as he thrust in.

Once you both were finally done he railed you so good you couldn’t walk for a week. Once you woke up the next morning you could feel your legs shaking.

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tomisautistic · 5 hours ago

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autistic catatonia is not the same as autistic inertia, though autistic inertia shows some catatonic symptoms. autistic inertia tends to have a higher implication of executive dysfunction and a very episodic presentation of catatonic symptoms.

autistic (chronic) catatonia is different. it often includes a progressive loss of skills, such as speech, tolerance to unpleasant sensory stimuli, motor abilities, etc. and is difficult to treat due to the fact acute catatonia is more studied and autistic catatonia is neglected in the research field.

here's an example of autistic inertia:

- i struggle initiating a task, so i may freeze in place temporarily when i try doing it. i can generally go back to my regular pace of life after i have either done the task or rested.

here's an example of episodic autistic catatonia:

- i can freeze in place for hours for no reason, and my flexibility is reduced. i can barely walk, let alone talk. this happens every once in a while or more frequently if i am extremely exhausted. (note that this can be a warning sign of chronic autistic catatonia development. if you experience this, please talk about autistic catatonia to a professional, such as a therapist or social worker).

here's an example of chronic autistic catatonia:

- i seem to be progressively losing more and more skills. speaking is difficult, moving from the place i am lying on is difficult, walking to the bathroom takes all my energy so i may need a caregiver to help me with my hygiene. i may even need to be physically brought to the bathroom in the worst days. i used to tolerate many foods. now even my former favorite meal is difficult to eat. i am solely able to eat a specific burger. i can barely tolerate the music i liked anymore, and if i need to go outside, i cannot filter out the sound with anything but a video of a 80 bpm metronome. i only go outside for appointments, and cannot do anything after that. i'm often brought by car by my social worker to said appointments.

(not-so-fun fact: i was so used to eating that specific meal with the fries that i was considering making a guide on how to select your individual fries based off your sensory preferences. i, of course, never did it because i was too exhausted to write that extensively).

i experienced all three in my life. right now i only struggle with autistic inertia. my neuropsychologist, who fortunately knew a lot about all three, decided to help me get out of my chronic state of catatonia and researched and informed my treatment team.

but yeah, autistic catatonia is nothing to laugh about. it is extremely painful and scary.

anyway. tired explain autistic catatonia. refuse to now. it not same as executive dysfunction n it not just “hard time moving” which lots people seem be use in both (wrong) definition. n flock to “this so me core” in tags collect diagnosis base on one tumblr post. that or be told it made up disorder n be personally attacked for believe it. when in reality it.. while probably not extremely rare but also not extremely common of disorder, serious disorder.

old explanation post seem be get notes again. that do whatever but too bitter n tired n Symptom to make new better post.

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ernmark · 2 days ago

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When I was in college, a friend of mine got a job at one of the campus help centers where they're supposed to help students who are struggling get their feet under them.

Based on his training there, he insisted that he wanted to have a similar session with me in order to Fix me.

(This speaks volumes about the help the other students were getting, I think.)

See, the entirety of his assistance was sitting with me and creating a nice, tidy little schedule for my life in fifteen-minute increments, with tidy little spots for daily workouts and weekly meal prep. And he kept getting frustrated with me for not being able to put my activities for the day in any order, or assign them specific periods of time, or being willing to commit to following this militant schedule to the letter.

He wouldn't hear the fact that I'm a writer-- I have no control over when the words come. Sometimes I'll be doing something Very Important and I'll have to put it on hold because if I don't write this line of dialogue down Right This Second it's going to make it impossible for me to focus at all. Sometimes I'll be staring at a blank word document for two hours and get a sentence and a half done. Sometimes it'll be three in the morning and I'll have been writing for five hours straight but I won't be able to sleep until I get it written.

He wouldn't hear the fact that I have debilitating depression, and sometimes it takes hours to gather enough energy just to get dressed.

He wouldn't hear the fact that I don't actually know how long something like cooking is going to take, because every recipe calls for completely different cook and prep time, and I can't predict what's going to be utterly unappetizing until I look in the fridge for that meal.

There was no accommodation for the fact that I have a sleep disorder, which between the depression and the rest, makes it damn well impossible to predict when I'll be able to start sleeping, or when I'd need to wake up in order to be rested.

And that's what it comes down to-- there was absolutely no leniency or accommodation for anything outside of that ultra-disciplined, hyper-regimented approach. There was no allowance made for neurodivergence or disability of any kind. Despite knowing me for years at that point, he couldn't understand why I just didn't Try Harder. Clearly I'd succeed if I just did it his way.

A few things that did actually help me, for the record:

When there's something that I Know is going to occupy the entirety of my brain until I do it, I just freakin' stop whatever else I'm doing and do it. In my case, that's usually writing down whatever bit is in my head, but also it can be getting out of bed to make sure I turned the stove off, or making sure I locked the door, or paying my credit card bills in the middle of the night, or whatever.

A lot of my executive dysfunction is exacerbated by sugar/protein levels, so I keep a supply of protein shakes on-hand. It doesn't necessarily fix my depressive episodes, but it gets me out of those loops where I can't do X until I do Y until I eat and I have to eat first because if I don't eat now then I won't be hungry for dinner and then blah blah blah.

On that note: I can't control when/how I sleep, but I can control how many meals I eat during a day and roughly when they happen. Eating regularly helps to make the rest of my natural rhythms a little more predictable.

I have a short list of foods that my household can reliably eat and try to keep the ingredients for that stocked.

I do actually do a little bit of scheduling-- I set aside a few-hour-block on two days of my week to work out. Not because I Must do it, but so that I'm not preoccupied with the constant background radiation of "I should be working out more". If it's not Monday or Friday, it's not going to happen.

Forgiving myself for not being at peak productivity levels at all times. My boss will get what I have it in me to give them, and not more. My writing might not be at its best all the time, but it's a hell of a lot better than a blank page. Pushing myself past my limits to adhere to an impossible standard only exacerbates all those other problems.

#also ending my association with a friend who refused to take no for an answer and refused to listen to some pretty fundamental realities

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thrashkink-coven · 11 hours ago

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Happy Venus day!!! ✴️

Very often I get the question from atheists and sceptics that’s like “what if Lucifer isn’t real? What if he’s just a voice in your head and you’re going crazy? Don’t you ever get nervous that he’s not really there?”

and to be honest it is a fair question, even though it’s usually asked with poor intentions.

My answer to that question would be no, I don’t worry about it, but I’ve definitely thought about it. I think anyone who works with any deities should think about it. Being vigilant and aware of our mental health is one of the most important things to consider as a practitioner. And as someone with close family members who have schizophrenia, I’ve taken the time to do extensive research about hallucinations and dissociative identity disorders. I grew up in a neglectful household and could very well have some mental condition I don’t know about. Considering these things doesn’t scare me, I don’t have any negative stigma towards those with mental health conditions like psychosis. If I truly had DID or something of the sort, I wouldn’t feel betrayed or foolish. I would just know that my brain works somewhat differently and that’s okay. I hate this attitude of “hey are you sure you’re not crazy?” because even if I did have some sort of disorder, I still wouldn’t be crazy. People with disorders are not crazy.

I don’t have hallucinations regularly, but I have experienced them before, so I at least know what warning signs to look out for in my own psychology. For the most part, fantastical experiences or conversations don’t happen in the mundane. I have to put a lot of focus and effort into channeling to have these deities. Lucifer is always with me, but I can’t always see him. If I send him away, he leaves.

In a situation where I discovered that Lucifer really was some kind of dissociative identity or hallucination, it wouldn’t be some life ruining revelation to me. In fact I don’t think it would change all that much. Lucifer’s presence has always been a positive one. He’s never given me paranoid thoughts or encouraged harmful behaviours. If he really was just a voice in my head, we’ll damn, he’s the nicest and wisest voice ever. If it’s really all just me, wow. I’m fucking amazing. How I managed to provide myself with this much guidance and advice is crazy.

and I think that’s the bottom line. Lucifer doesn’t cause me any harm, working with and worshiping him doesn’t bring any negativity into my life, and I he actively encourages me to be healthy and happy. So even if he wasn’t real, I’d still feel comfortable worshiping him. I’d probably still carry on much the same, because he’s only been good to me.

Lucifer is just as much a part of me as any of my spirit guides are. The Lucifer I interact with is a direct reflection of my psychology, my own understandings inform how he appears to me. To converse with him is also to converse with myself.

My work with one of my very first spiritual guides, Archangel Jophiel, was cantered a lot around dissecting and dismembering my scepticism. He really did make me feel crazy, and he forced me to confront my fear of being delusional. If I’m constantly paranoid that none of this is real, every single time I experience something fantastical in my deliberate searching and witchcraft, I would always run away and call myself crazy. At some point I had to accept what I was experiencing and make decisions based on that acceptance.

I just saw something really fucking crazy from Lucifer, I can either spend the rest of my life constantly trying to prove he’s real or fake, or I can just take the experience, decide and keep what’s valuable and leave the rest to speculation.

I say that I’m theistic because my experiences have lead me to believe that these energies really are alive. I do believe that Lucifer exists in reality as an energy and entity, I do believe he’s a real deity and that I’m reaching out to someone other than myself when I work with him. But I don’t know any of this, I just believe so. And I don’t need to know (and I couldn’t know because it’s not provable) because it doesn’t change my everyday reality either way. Living for Lucifer is a philosophy and state of mind. Whether or not the Morning Star hears me, I’ll still praise him, because I just think he’s that awesome. I’ve been lucky enough to get a response, but I cannot prove that to anyone else, and I don’t really care to.

But in ether scenario, I still win. Either I am actually working with him and he loves me and treats me well, or I’ve somehow mastered self deification and have the best case of psychosis ever. Either I’m going on astral journeys with my Gods or I have incredible, like truly phenomenal visualization skills. Either I have a wonderful God constantly looking out for me, or I’m just constantly extremely lucky. Either I have a beautiful altar that my Gods enjoy and appreciate, or I have a beautiful collection of trinkets and treasure that makes me happy every time I play with them. Either way, I’m happier and healthier now than I’ve ever been before.

I appreciate atheistic Luciferians and Satanists because they are proof that the underlying principles and practice still works even if they don’t recognize an actual Lucifer in their gnosis.

Tldr, if you think I’m crazy that’s totally okay. I probably am a little bit crazy. The important part is that I’m not hurting myself or others, not glorifying harmful behaviour or neglecting my mental health. Whether or not Lucifer is real doesn’t matter when I know I’m real.

#luciferian witch #luciferism #luciferian #lucifer #lucifer devotee #theistic luciferianism #lucifer deity #lord lucifer #satanism #theistic satanism #pagan #paganism #demonolatry #witchcraft #deity work #deity worship #eosphoros #occultism #magick

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