#because i had a crush on a horrible person in middle school

[kooggukk]

𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 BEYOND THE JOB // JJK

daddy jungkook (literally)

; babysitting the cutest angel on earth is the perfect job. (except when her father is fucking hot and wants all of you)

+ comment if u wnna be added to the taglist

— 1/??

| next part >>

“seriously though, you have to fuckin’ quit that job already.”

Sasha, who happens to be your best friend ever since you started working at the local elementary school, just lectured you again. she was already teaching there when you arrived, you spent your lunch breaks with her and even be each other’s substitute sometimes.

surprisingly, she quit a few months after that. you stayed close though. at first, she was dying to know the drama happening among the teaching staff, but as shit kept going down which included you and the principal, all you ever hear from her is that you need to quit.

it wasn’t a huge surprise to her when you first told her your boss, aka the school’s principal, asked you out. it was weird, but everyone knew he was.. a little desperate. he had asked most of the female teachers out, some who agreed could only say bad things about the experience.

you declined his offer politely, explaining that you don’t want your personal life to mix with your job. it was awkward after that, but turns out he seems to be the dumbest person on earth. he asked you out two weeks after that, again.

still to this day, he keeps asking you out over and over and you keep rejecting him over and over again. sure, he got a lil’ crush on you, sweet, right? fuck no. he’s a pervert, doesn’t know what personal space is.

“but i need the money. i don’t know where else i could get such good salary.” you told her, for the nth time.

“be a stripper,” Sasha casually said, sipping on her diet coke while your eyes widened.

“don’t say nonsense, dafuq..” you both shared a giggle, but you definitely won’t put that job idea on the bottom of your list. maybe in the middle, or top 5. if you really can’t find a good place, then gotta be top 3.

“you could be one until you save enough money, then look for a less crazy one.”

“there’s never enough money, sasha.” you sighed, fuck inflation. when you grew up and finished studying, you realized the hardest part of being an adult was money. it’s crazy how difficult it is to make a living.

“if you don’t give in your quitting notice tomorrow, i’m gonna do it for you instead.” she narrowed her eyes at you.

“i don’t want to make a decision too quick. not until i know i can find another job.”

“quit.”

“no.”

“quit.”

“no.”

“quit.”

…

“okay.”

she squealed in her chair, gaining some attention on the two of you.

“if you dare to lie to me right now, i’m gonna make you eat your own shit.”

you kicked her under the table, sending her a glare. “behave, bitch.”

┈ ⪩⪨   ┈

“oh, __! what brings you here today?” your boss, sehun immediately stood up from his chair, ready to greet you with a hug.

panicking, you reached your hand out with a paper, catching his attention. “this is..?”

“my resignation notice, sir.”

“your what?”

he took the paper from your grip, examining it carefully. his eyebrows fell together, eyes scanning every single word.

he backed up, resting on the edge of his table. he looked at the paper again, rereading the first sentence.

‘Kindly accept this letter as my formal resignation…’

“are you sure, __?” he asked, putting the paper on his table. he crossed his arms, frustration written on his face.

you fixed your hair, giving him a firm nod. “yeah, i’ve been thinking of it for a while now.”

“i’m glad i could be a part of this amazing team, but i just feel like,” you struggled to find the words, obviously you didn’t want to tell in his face.

‘aye bruh, stop bein’ a pervert and you might stop losing your workers’

“look, teaching isn’t my thing. and i feel horrible to find that out so late.”

“well, if your passion for teaching ever comes back, you’re more than welcomed here.”

“thank you,” you smiled, because even though he’s the most annoying person you’ve ever met, your co-workers have always been kind to you.

the children also love you, and you’re extremely thankful for all the support and love you got from everyone.

during the usual lunch break, you co-workers heard the news too. they all wished you the best with a hug, some getting emotional too.

officially, this was your last week working at the school.

when you got home, sasha sent you a link to an advertisement.

‘looking for a nanny’

you laughed, dialing her contact. didn’t take her long to answer, obviously. she’s always on her damn phone, even when working.

“you can’t be serious. a nanny?” you laughed, finding the idea of you with a kid ridiculous.

“have you seen the description? girl, they pay damn well!” she said, followed by her exhaling.

“didn’t you say you’re gonna stop smoking?”

“i stopped. for three hours.”

you shook your head, putting her on speaker as you clicked the advertisement.

“170.000₩?” you blurted out loud, “a day?!” sasha hummed on the other side of the call.

“told ya’..”

“that’s.. nice. woah, yeah, nice.” you mumbled as you continued to read the requirements and some important details about the job.

“give it a try.” sasha said, but your eyes caught a sentence.

“they want someone with experience, as expected.” you let out a long sigh and fell back on your bed.

“you got the experience.”

“me? sasha, i never looked after a kid-“

“you work with kids. first and second graders. and they all fuckin’ love you.”

“that’s different.” you groaned.

“it’s not. a kid is a kid. 3 year olds are just as damn annoying as 7 year olds. prove me wrong..”

you laughed, she was right. they can be a huge pain in the ass, but they have the purest soul.

“true.”

“give it a try, __.” she said again, calling you by your name. oh she’s serious serious.

“yeah, i might call tomorrow then.”

“might? no, you will.” she corrected you and you rolled your eyes.

“sure.”

you called them the next day after considering it for half a day, being the typical embarrassment, you called at the wrong time.

the man was in a hurry, so you both just quickly agree on a time to meet in person. that happened to be the day after.

you looked at the address one more time after you got off the bus, realizing it was more of a wealthy neighborhood. you only had to walk about 5 minutes until you got there, hesitantly but you pressed the bell.

a tall, young man opened the door. his skin is smooth and fair, almost perfect. his hair dark, slightly wavy which was styled in a mullet cut, longer at the back.

his choice in clothes seemed to be rich, a white ribbed polo shirt with short sleeves, causing your eyes to drop to his sleeve tattoo in a second. he paired it with black tailored trousers.

“hey, you must be __?” he asked with uncertainty and you came back to life, smiling to him.

“yeah, i am.”

“great, come in.”

he stepped aside and you walked in, taking off your shoes and jacket.

the house was oddly barely decorated, not a single picture or painting on the walls, very few plants, which you’re sure are fake plants also. the house wasn’t really colorful, most of the furnitures are bright. like beige and cream white.

“would you like a drink? water, tea, soda? maybe coffee?” he suggested as he walked in front of you, leading you to the living room.

“no, thank you.” you politely refused, feeling a little.. off in such a nice home. not something you’re used to.

you sat down on the couch, carefully not to mess the neatly placed pillows behind. god you looked so uncomfortable and awkward.

“i’d like to introduce myself again, in person this time.” he spoke as he sat down on the armchair, next to the couch.

“i’m jeon jungkook, 27. i’m a dentist in the center of seoul. i’m the father of a sweet angel, nabi. she turns 5 in a few weeks, we could say she’s in her, erm,” he struggled to find an appropriate word.

“crazy phase?” you asked with a smile.

“yeah, something like that. she’s been loud lately, that’s all.” he chuckled, resting his arms on his knees.

you nodded and held your small bag tightly, “i’d like to introduce myself better too, then.”

“i’m __, 24 and i currently work at an elementary school. i handed in my resignation letter and this is my last week as a teacher, so i’m searching for a new job currently.”

you paused, hesitant what else to say.

“elementary school? so, you work with kids?”

“yes, first and second grade.”

after a few minutes of getting to know each other more, a little girl, most likely his daughter, walked down the stairs with her sleepy appearance.

“oh!” she stopped the moment she saw you, the tiredness leaving her eyes.

“nabi, c’mere.” jungkook held out his hand, “this is __. what do you say?” he asked her, holding her tiny hands.

“hello.” she greeted you and you smiled, her shyness is adorable.

“hi.”

“__ is here because she would like to look after you.” he said and she looked up to him so fast, you thought her neck would snap.

“daddy, are you leeving me?” she gasped and jungkook chuckled at her words, shaking his head.

“no, but when i’m at work, someone needs to be here and take care of you. how about __, does she seem nice? hm?”

the little girl shrugged, hugging her father’s arm. he sent her back to the bedroom, saying he would be there soon too.

“well, she’s a little shy at first but, i think she’s gonna open up fast.” he smiled and stood up, your eyes widening a bit and you stood up too.

“does that mean, i got the job?”

“see you next monday?” he asked and you almost started jumping, but you held back. instead, you gave him a huge smile and nodded.

“monday then.”

[hotnbloodied]

(I have a idea that you could write, how about a yandere childhood crush x F friend/admirer. They been friends for years but F reader thought that yandere childhood friend didn’t like her since he would date other people and would be a player alway telling her how other girl are so pretty, so she grow tired of this one-sides love went on a date with a other guy who like her, but while she on the date yandere childhood crush show up ruined it for her and takes her to his house where he had lay it out how he would try to make her jealous and how he never did anything with them and never kiss any one of them because he want his first kiss and his first everything with her. And she let it happen because all this time she though she was only one that felt that way about him and but she had no idea how possessive he can be)

Sure! I'll do my best, enjoy~ -˚ʚ♡ɞ˚HB˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Yan!Player!Childhood Friend X F!Reader

!Warning! This post contains yandere themes and topics that may be uncomfortable to people who are sensitive to the topic, read at your own discretion.

CW: not proof read, female reader, sloppy writing, yandere tendencies, miscommunication, misunderstanding, jealousy, shoujo-esk drama, possessive tendencies, reader being pushed around physically. (LMK if I'm missing anything.)

!!READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION!! MINORS DNI!!

“How many years has it been?” You look across the table to one of your best friends since childhood, she was the only other person aside from yourself that knows about your little crush on Luka, your other childhood friend. “Ten years… give or take,” you responded in a reserved tone, grip on your drink tightening slightly. She sighed and looked at you hopelessly, “I don’t know why you still hold on to your crush. You should just tell him and move from there, either on or forward.” The three of you had a great friendship together originally, from elementary to middle school the three of you would go to one of your houses after school and do homework then play games after. You had and still have the biggest crush on Luka, and thought for sure that someday you and him would get married when you were younger. You lost count of the amount of times you and Veronica giggled with each other about the details of the wedding back then. Then high school came around. Luka was the first of the trio to start dating. You’ll never forget the fateful day, you and Veronica were waiting for him to open the door since you all were hanging out at his house that day. He opened the door like usual and all went to his room, only, there was a girl there. He introduced her as his girlfriend and you could feel a crushing pressure in your chest. Veronica covered for you by being the one to do all the talk but sneaking occasional glances at you with worry streaking her eyes.

The rest of that hangout was very awkward for you but you did your best to put on a strong front. Luka’s girlfriend had to leave early, so at some point it was just the three of you again. But he wouldn’t stop talking about her, “she’s so pretty isn’t she, she confessed to me the other day and I was surprised that such a cute girl would confess to me.” You wanted to cry, you could feel your eyes getting hot and threatening tears so you excused yourself to the bathroom.

From that day onward you gave any and every excuse as to why you could not have regular study sessions with your friends anymore. Though, Veronica was the only one you allowed into your house to check up on you since you couldn’t even face Luka anymore. It was a week later that Veronica told you that Luka and his girlfriend broke up. You felt horrible that you felt relieved, but merely three days later you witnessed him hugging another girl. His arms around her waist as hers were around his neck, giggling with each other. You remember that that was the last of any hope you had of  him ever having mutual feelings for you fizzling out. But still, these feelings of yours persisted. With the cards you were dealt you just had to suck it up, and masking it eventually got easier. Slowly you were talking to Luka again, making jokes, laughing. Even if he was with someone else, you still really liked talking to him.

You recall those old high school memories, the longest he was in a relationship for was a month. You remember how each of his girlfriends seemed prettier than the last, plus he sure didn’t make you forget it. Now that your little group was in college, Veronica and you were the only ones that still hung out with each other regularly. Like right now at this café. “Listen,” she says, breaking you out of your daze, “I think you’re a pretty girl too, you should try  a hand at dating yourself. Not everything has to revolve around Luka right?” She said as gently as she could and she was right, now that you were in college your life and needs had to come first after all, “what were you thinking?” She smiled, “my boyfriend has this friend, actually, he’s asked about you before, I’ve met him a couple of times and he seems like a nice guy, sociable and sensible. Maybe you and I could go on a double date?”

A week later you found yourself in the park with Veronica, her boyfriend and his friend. There was a little summer event going on, there were food stands, activities and music. The friend was honestly was a very nice guy and attentive as well. At one point Veronica and her boyfriend went off for their alone time and you found him and yourself sitting on a bench enjoying the food that the two of you got from a stand. You made jokes with one another and you don’t remember having such a good time with someone new like this, a moment of solace where you weren't thinking about Luka. The moment lasted shorter than you thought though when you heard someone call out your name. You and your date turned and saw Luka briskly walking over with a beautiful girl trying to keep up behind him. “Luka?” you asked out loud. “I didn’t know you were going to be here today [y/n], who’s this?” He asked as your date stood and reached out his hand, “I’m [name], I’m [y/n’s] date.” You blushed at your date's words, you thought they were sweet. The sweet words were also short lived though when you felt someone yank at your wrist. That someone being Luka, leaving both his and your date behind.

Your soft spot for Luka made it so you didn’t try yanking your arm back immediately, but it didn’t stop you from asking questions, “Luka? What’s going on?” He didn’t answer, he led you all the way to where his car was parked and pushed you inside. He’s never been aggressive with you before so admittedly you were a bit startled. He entered the drivers side and started up the car before driving away. Your phone was blowing up and when you checked to see who it was, you saw it was Veronica. You only managed to message back that you were with Luka before he took your phone and tossed it to the back seat. “What the hell Luka?!” You yelled, but still he didn’t respond. You eventually recognized the street, it was the road to Luka’s apartment. After parking, he yet again dragged you from the car, all the way to his apartment.

Thrown on to his bed, you were going to stand up and give him a piece of your mind. Before doing so though he had caged you under him, he had your lower body pressed down so you were trapped there. “What are you–” “I thought you weren’t interested in dating,” Luka finally talked but the first words out of his mouth were rude enough to make you flustered. “Excuse me? I’m literally the same as everyone else, why wouldn’t I be interested in dating?” Your defense was up, it felt like he was trying to hurt your feelings. “All this time I brought up my relationships but you didn’t react at all,” his face was stoic with a slight hint of hurt. Boy did that offend you, “what the hell? You’re really pissing me off Luka. What is this all about?” You were extremely close to punching that stupid beautiful face of his but his response left you breathless, “I love you.” All the squirming and defiance you had was suddenly extinguished like a bucket of water on a flame. “You… love, me?” He looks at you, his gaze softened, “I’ve loved you since I was young.” Your heart raced but with infatuation came the anger as well as more flailing, “what the fuck! How could you say that when you literally started dating around ever since entering high school!” “I never did anything with any of those girls! The most we ever did was hold hands! All I’ve ever wanted was you!” “Oh fuck you! I never took you as a liar!” “It’s not! I swear, it’s not.” You stopped thrashing, partially because you wanted to hear him out but also because you were tired.

“I thought that if I kept going out with people you would get jealous and eventually confront me about it. But you never seemed to care, in fact you never even seemed interested in romance, so when I saw you with that guy, I lost it.” You knew you should be angry, but you found yourself a little bit happy, “you’re a real dummy you know that?” “Can I kiss you?” Not hearing a peep from you for a beat Luka leaned down and you two shared a tender kiss. You got startled a little when you heard Luka moan out your name and reached to restrain your arms over your head while deepening the kiss. When it breaks, he’s the first to say something, “after all those years of imagining what this would be like, you’re sweeter than any fantasy. You agree to be mine now, right? Our feelings are mutual, right? You returned my kiss so it has to be, I love you, no one will ever take you away from me,” his words might be sweet but the delivery was a bit frantic, not that you noticed. “Y-yes,” you finally replied, “I love you too.” Luka was delirious, this was finally happening after all these years. He knew you loved him like he loved you. Maybe the plan of making you jealous didn’t work but that didn’t matter now since you were in his grasp. He doesn’t need to just sneak pictures of you now, he doesn’t need to rummage through your trash anymore and he doesn’t need to break into your room to watch you sleep anymore. You’re finally, his. But old habits will die hard.

Part 2

[jadeyarts]

Separate from that other anon I for one would personally love to hear your Peri and Harbinger/Foxglove headcanons

OMG YAYYYYY. I HAVE QUITE A FEW ♥ (for my own convenience i'm referring to them by their og series names for reasons)

the events of timmy's secret wish are what first planted the seeds of genuine, fully positive feelings and fondness for poof in foop's mind and heart... maybe even a puppy love crush. he seriously thought "well, dying in poof's arms wouldn't be so bad" and hoped that wouldn't awaken something in him. it did.

in a lot of episodes they often have differently colored eyes - foop has a darker shade of purple. i think poof's noticed, and i think he even likes the look of those darker eyes.

given how foop would cry out for poof to protect or save him, i think that poof grows to be incredibly protective of foop… poof will square up for his square!!!

hes the one telling cashiers that foop asked for no pickles, imho ♥

at some point poof stopped intervening in foop's nefarious schemes so i've kind of interpreted poof as just... not caring anymore. he can't stay mad at foop for long, and he finds himself not even bothered by whatever damages he ends up causing anyways. i think he might even find his antics amusing.

after the events of certifiable super sitter, foop actually feels comfortable with admitting that poof is his best friend-

it'd take a few more years to admit it to poof's face, though, it's too embarrassing for him! he'll gush to chloe constantly, though - she knows he's in love with poof before either of them does.

foop's first boyfriend was actually their mutual friend sammy sweetsparkle in high school, while poof had kind of an on-and-off puppy love situationship with goldie... until he kind of flipped out on her about constantly getting foop's name wrong in the middle of a jealousy induced break-down. foop was actually thrilled to hear that poof let his dark side show over wanting to be with him.

sammy and foop ironically broke up on good terms because sammy's best attempt at understanding the fairy/antifairy situation is that they must be soulmates and he didn't want to stand in the way of true love. he's their second biggest supporter.

technically poof confessed first but his confession was literally just screaming IF I DONT SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU I AM LITERALLY GOING TO BLOW SOMETHING UP!!!! at foop, which was a love confession that would only appeal to foop.

chloe TRIED to plan the "perfect" first date for them but it was horribly awkward and not to their tastes. so instead their first REAL date was poof taking foop to a kelly clarkson concert where they got matching "my life would suck without you" t-shirts.

poof actually buys - WITH HUMAN MONEY, IN A HUMAN DISGUISE - every kelly clarkson album as it releases for foop.

they nearly elope several times but got caught by wanda every time. wanda doesn't really like the fact that poof is with foop but doesn't wanna turn into mama cosma about it so she comes to terms with it. she doesnt want them to just run away and get married when she doesn't think they're ready yet either, though. timmy has to be the one to appeal to foop's desire for attention to convince them to have a big wedding after they graduate. poof doesnt care whether he has a big wedding or just elopes - as long as foop is his. if foop wants a big wedding, that's what they'll have.

whenever people ask how long they've been together they tend to go silent because their first instinct is to say "about 50 years" even though they're only about 22-24, and they've only officially been a couple for about 6 or 7 years. foop's second instinct is also to say "from the very first moment i drew breath" like the dramatic weirdo he is. which isn't even accurate and they both know it.

literally so specific to my own little homebrewed post-canon that you can't even pretend it works with anw:

in my elaborate fanon after AC and AW abandoned foop in season 10, poof begs wanda to find someone who would be willing to take foop in. luckily, wanda knew just the fairies for the job.

after getting adopted foop changes his name to foxglove thimbleplight - poof changed his last name to thimbleplight when they got married so he becomes periwinkle thimbleplight. :3

they still call each other poof and foop - usually in the form of embarrassingly cheesy affectionate nicknames. we're talking "smoopy-poo" level cheesy usage here.

(actually that one still works with anw but the art i drew is clearly my own designs and not the anw designs and it's exceedingly cheesy so)

poof convinced foop to go to the fairy academy with him - initially foop was hesitant because he… wants to… but… antifairies cant become godparents, right??? poof was willing to do literally anything it would take to keep foop by his side though. he initially considers manipulating some poor unsuspecting godparent to quit on their godkid just so he can hijack the ensuing fairy idol for foop to win and take their job… it's devious, and he knows foop would have loved that he did something so malicious just for him, but in the end he just gets into a fight with jorgen and the fairy council about it. he argues that technically foop is legally a fairy now since he was adopted by fairies, so he should be allowed to become a godparent. they end up agreeing.

their relationship was kind of a controversial issue in fairyworld for a few years because of poof's high profile status - while they're not the first fairy and anti-fairy couple, they're the first recorded instance of a fairy coupled with their own counterpart in eons. the media did get bored of them eventually though.

they already wanted to get married after high school but they agreed to postpone the wedding until after they graduated from the fairy academy so they had enough free time to make it as over the top as foop wanted it to be. poof actually proposed to foop AGAIN with a diamond ring after they graduated from the fairy academy, even though they were technically already engaged - with the intent of being as over-the-top dramatic and annoying to the rest of their classmates as possible.

^ which is similar to what cosmo and wanda did as teens though details differ. cosmo is literally the only one who seems to realize this and audibly goes "WOW, DEJA VU..." when this all happens.

while wanda had to get used to poof and foop together, cosmo accepted it pretty much immediately. mostly because sometimes they reminded him of himself and wanda. (<- actually canon)

[fairyhaos]

seventeen as teachers

requested by @weird-bookworm ! it's a little to the left of what you asked but i hope it's alright anyway ><

masterlist

seungcheol

architecture professor. kind of thanks to physics!cheol anon for this idea but he really encourages hands-on learning especially for his subject, and he draws big diagrams on the board and gestures wildly with his hands as he's explaining why the models work and what do the students think of it? also he definitely gives vibes of someone who high fives the students when their models withstand his shaking tests, but also laughs and claps when they fall apart. because it's all about learning, isn't it? and he's with you to help you learn every step of the way. 

jeonghan

kindergarten teacher. cannot for the life of him handle kids older than that because then they get too tricksy and talkative for him and he gets tired too easily to deal with that. actually really good at handling the toddlers. he's also very pretty so all the kids unironically hang onto his every word, basically making him the god at keeping children in line. when he gets too tired of running around after them he just goes “kids :((( jeonghan is tired :(((“ and they immediately settle down to do something else

joshua

music teacher (1). he's a total department crush (and even school-wide crush) amongst the other teachers because he's so pretty and so kind, always and accidentally keeps making teachers fall for him bc he talks to them so nicely w that pretty smile of his. renowned for his ability to compose melodies on the piano on the spot, and always has students wanting him to help (cough compose for them) parts of their composition work. no one knows what he does outside of work, though. it's like he disappears into thin air after school finishes. 

junhui

gives me eccentric uni professor vibes. sits on his desk with his feet dangling and asks all sorts of strange and irrelevant questions to the students that are, actually, not strange and entirely relevant. has everyone walking out of his lectures feeling like a changed person because he either a) managed to get horribly off track or b) made them rethink their entire life choices. loved by all, and maybe a bit too much. poor guy definitely had an obsessed student try to follow him home before he got lost himself and so they both ended up in the middle of nowhere

hoshi

chemistry teacher. no other reason other than i think he'd look great with a pair of goggles on his forehead pushing his fringe back at funny angles whilst he grins maniacally and goes, “hey, kids, today we're gonna set things on fire!!!!”. so passionate about teaching these things to the students, and rambles on like he only has 5 minutes left on earth and he's gonna use every second to cram in as much chemistry knowledge into the students’ brains as he can in that time. it works, too. his passion inspires so many of them to take chemistry further up in the school. 

wonwoo

history teacher. all the students want him for their teacher when they take history because he's actually, like, competent and knows stuff. known for taking no shit when it comes to doing assignments on time because he sets reasonable deadlines and if you can't make them, then that's on you, not him. students love him. also super duper helpful if you have any questions and is always free at lunch to help bc he'll do anything to escape the hyperactive claws of mr. kwon and mr. wen who are always up to shenanigans

woozi

music teacher (2). mans life literally revolves around music and i can't imagine him doing anything else. department ace. conductor of both the symphony and concert orchestra, and rearranges all of the parts himself when the students find it a little too difficult. also do Not engage this man in a conversation about anything to do with music theory because he will rant for ages and any quick question turns into half of your lunch break being missed. he means well, though, and always gets ridiculous amount of thank-you presents at the end of the year. 

minghao

art teacher (1). dresses like one, too, and has been voted as ‘best dressed teacher’ for the past 3 years in a row. all the art students are kind of afraid of him because if you ask for feedback, there is a 50/50 chance that he'll rip you a new one whilst explaining what you did wrong. there's never any true cruelty to his words, though, cuz hes always actually giving genuine advice and he's always right in what he advises, so students either love him or hate him for his criticisms, though mostly it's the former. he's pretty, too, and his works are pretty, so that's a plus

mingyu

teaches business studies to the older students, purely cz i think he gives maths-adjacent vibes. he teaches a “special” subject that's not available to the younger kids and he's ridiculously handsome so he's kind of like a legendary figure in the school. even if he's a bit silly and adorable at times, he's also super good at holding intellectual debates with his students about current economic and political affairs. can be found bickering with mr. yoon bc the kindergarten teacher wants him to help with his taxes.

dokyeom

art teacher (2). smiles brighter than the sun at all hours of the day, and when the senior students are drowning in coursework and artist research deadlines, he's like the one and only guiding light that helps them get through it because of how endlessly optimistic he is. half the seniors take art solely because of him, actually. also a firm believer that all art is good art and there's no such thing as a “non-artist”. scolds minghao after work when he feels like the other teacher was being too harsh to the students

seungkwan

part of the senior leadership team. takes his position veryyy seriously, strides briskly around the school with a jingle of w set of keys he managed to procure from…somewhere. is always on top of uniform inspections which is always annoying for the kids, but he's also melodramatic and smiley so they love him anyway. the students are always try to recruit him for teacher quizzes and events bc he makes everything way more fun. 

vernon

classics teacher. this might seem odd but hear me out!!! dude loves ancient history and Will do deep dives on old artefacts and cultures that interest him, and i think that passion can definitely be transferred to him teaching kids about latin, ancient greek, old civilizations. known for sharing nothing about his personal life but also being able to talk for ages about something that happened over 1000 years ago. the students all find him super cool and also super endearing. 

chan

the guy who's hired externally from some sports club to act as the teacher to students during after school clubs. teaches martial arts, mainly, but he supervised an impromptu dance club one semester and the students loved it so much that they managed to bring the dance club onto the permanent schedule. everyone loves him. his sports club is 10000% sure that half the children who come to them were recruited through chan's lovely personality alone. 

request guidelines

reactions tags: @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @yonabutnotyuna @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt @kikohao @astrozuya @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @starshuas @all-american-fangirl @f1uffyjun @sea-moon-star @nonononranghaee @isabellah29 @mcu-incorrect @hrts4hanniehae @melodicrabbit

[shrimptacodaniels]

something something loser trio headcanons because i can’t stop thinking about them 

—PART ONE—

RUTH FLEMING: 

got called “phlegmy fleming” in elementary school because she has horrible seasonal allergies. the nickname stuck until middle school. she transferred during eighth grade. 

200% a cat person. she loves cats and wanted one when she moved out. both of her parents are extremely allergic. 

her favorite color was red. after her death and the events of npmd, it makes peter sick to look at anything red not just because of blood. 

the least squeamish person to walk the face of the earth (which can be corroborated by her behavior in npmd). she loved dragging pete and richie to haunted houses in the autumn. 

she and pete met in tap class when they were 6 years old. upon learning pete’s name, ruth gasped and asked “like spider-man?!” they’ve been friends ever since. 

ruth loved to give pete a hard time. a lot of the innuendos she made were at his expense (read: to freak him out). when he’d get too into his head, a dirty joke was, in her opinion, the best way to snap him out of it. 

big on social media stalking. she knew so much about so many people. shared all of what she knew (good, bad, and ugly) with richie and pete. 

definitely was a girl scout growing up. hated it. had a massive crush on one of the older girls and freaked out over it. 

has taken the am i gay test 34 times (just to be sure). 

came out to richie first after a trial run of “practice kissing” each other. they both cried. he came out to her the same day (messy bisexual icons). 

they teased each other equally and often about the other’s taste in men and women. 

when they both came out to pete (at the same time), he flipped, asking if “anyone in this damn town stuck to one gender?” (bc ted swings all ways, be so fr). after steph comes out to him as bi, he remembers the remark and tears up a bit. 

loved to lust over ted as a bit. pete hated it. 

coffee > tea. argued about this with richie almost daily. 

she loved wine mom romance novels an embarrassing amount. 

was in the library’s dnd club for 3 years to “improve her acting skills.” loved to play incredible horny bards

would have loved short n’ sweet. slim pickings??? taste??? JUNO????

planned the trio’s halloween costume every year. they always coordinated.

loved the muppets movies growing up

her favorite musical was spring awakening. 

her dream role was sally bowles in cabaret. 

DEFINITELY would have named her cat(s) after characters from cats (the musical) 

loved her friends more than anything in the world. but especially loved to antagonize them :) 

(I’m ill about her. Like seriously.)

[modanisgf]

5. LOVE 119 (WRITTEN)

a/n— this feels like smth out of a disney show sorry guys.. 😭 not proofread im so tired

yunjin had felt nervous a lot in her life. like when she was in choir in middle school and had to sing in front of the entire school, and especially when she saw your smile for the first time.

it wasn’t even her that you were smiling at but it made her melt inside, she was too busy staring at you that she wasn’t even paying attention to her friends giggling at her.

yunjin was only taken out of her trance when kai hit her arm making her glare at him.

“stop staring at y/n the others are already inside.” kai had said opening the door for the both of them.

the group had decided to eat before they went ice skating which was suggested by sunghoon originally, much to yunjin’s demise. she was horrible at ice skating but that was a problem for later.

the dinner had went smoothly, y/n and yunjin were beginning to get comfortable around each other and the group got a long pretty well.

yunjin felt all her worries disappear as she was talking to you now at the rink, while you guys put your skates on.

“have you ever skated before?” y/n asks yunjin making the latter grimace.

“um, yeah! i’m pretty good at it.” yunjin boasts, lying through her teeth.

unfortunately yunjin was as horrible of a liar as she was at ice skating and that comment was definitely coming back to bite her in the ass later.

y/n could tell the girl wasn’t being truthful but wanted to tease her so she went with it.

“really? you should do a little competition with sunghoon he’s really good also. he used to be a figure skater.” y/n says yunjins heart dropping.

the information wasn’t new to her, various girls at their school fawned over sunghoon for his background on the ice. but y/n saying it to her face just made it all worse, especially when yunjin saw that smile of hers brightening everything in a fifty mile radius.

y/n was going to be the death of huh yunjin, and maybe she wouldn’t be if yunjin wasn’t so deadset on impressing her but when was yunjin not doing something stupid for a girl?

she couldn’t pass up this opportunity to impress her crush of many years and when y/n and yunjin parted, that’s where yunjin found herself talking to a very confused sunghoon.

“you want to challenge me to a competition to impress y/n?” he says furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. why did yunjin go to such extreme rates to impress you?

“sunghoon this is very important to me, i need you to go easy on me..” yunjin says making him shrug.

“okay. and what do i get?” sunghoon asks, yunjin could already feel her wallet hurting when she held out her hand to sunghoon to shake.

“i’ll get you some more soccer equipment, deal?” yunjin says to which sunghoon shakes her hand.

“deal.”

the group spent a bit of time on skating around the ice, and yunjin was doing her best to avoid y/n. she was hiding behind kai, jiwon and rei who were starting to get annoyed.

“what are you doing?” jiwon asks looking at yunjin who was crouching on the ice beside kai.

“i’m hiding from y/n.” yunjin says.

“you’re hiding from the girl you’ve wanted to talk to since forever?” kai says.

“okay you have to hear me out.” yunjin begins making her two friends groan.

yunjin rolls her eyes, “it’s not even that bad you guys are just dramatic.”

“yunjin the last time you said hear me out it was after you threw a ball at some girls head because she was shit talking y/n.” jiwon says, making rei perk up.

“wait yunjin, how long have you liked y/n?” rei asks, the girl remembered that happening during freshman year. y/n wanted to find who the person was but she never ended up finding them.

yunjin shrugs, “it wasn’t that big of a crush until now—“

“since middle school.” kai cuts her off, making yunjin hit him.

“that was before she even had her little fanclub, you’re an og.” rei teases, yunjin pouting.

“anyways, back to what yunjin did.” jiwon says.

“well, i might’ve told y/n that i’m pretty good at ice skating..” yunjin says.

“and—“

“there’s more?” kai deadpans.

“she wants me to do a competition with sunghoon.” yunjin finishes.

“so basically what you’re saying is you’re fully willing to embarrass yourself in front of all these people just for y/n.” jiwon says disappointedly.

“i’m all for it.” kai says, “just make sure to tell me when so i can record it.”

“i hope you fall flat on your ass kai.” yunjin says glaring at him.

“i mean you can’t possibly be that bad?” rei shrugs trying to lighten the mood.

“to be fair, i made a deal with sunghoon earlier to go easy on me.” yunjin says making her friends laugh.

“what are you giving him?” kai asks.

“new soccer equipment?” yunjin says confused.

“so you’re gonna be broke and a loser?”

“you guys are so supportive.”

of all times that yunjin had been nervous before this was by far the worst, the only one who had comforted her was rei who she barely knew.

yunjin’s friends were too busy preparing to record the most embarrassing moment of her life. yunjin’s mood brightened when she saw you walk up to her.

“goodluck yunjin.” you say giving her a smile.

all of a sudden yunjin didn’t feel that nervous anymore.

“thank you.” yunjin says giving you a smile back. she wanted to kiss you so bad in that moment.

in short, while the organizer of the competition explained the directions yunjin was hyping herself up. if she was positive it would be better, right?

yeah that didn’t work at all.

a couple rounds in yunjin found herself flat on her back on the ice, her head was stinging with pain but she definitely heard the laughter of kai and beomgyu.

before sitting up she saw you rush over in panic, “yunjin you are so stupid..” you mumble making her frown.

as she sits up you hold her face checking for any bruises, yunjin’s face turning red. you excused it thinking she was just cold, considering she had just been laying on ice.

you helped her up and made eye contact with her, “promise me you won’t be stupid again?” you say.

“i promise.. maybe?” she responds.

y/n giggles at this, she was happy yunjin came into her life.

“c’mon we’re leaving now, yeonjuns letting us all stay over.” y/n says grabbing yunjin’s hand.

yunjin couldn’t help but smile, she was also glad that y/n was in her life.

she had never been happier.

TAGS 🏷️ (OPEN): @haerinsloverr @jayjj7 @kaypanaq @pandafuriosa60 @flolio @flxexur @1luvkarina @intothewinter @nnewjeansstuff @zuhaazana @luchiet @twicesserafim @newhairnewjeans @everydayiloveyves @kimminjswife @manooffline @linnnsworld @nimxie

masterlist | prev | next

[potchi-fics]

Torpe

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

/tor.pe/

have you ever read something where person A likes person B but they just can't seem to confess? as it turns out, person B likes them back? their story either turns good or bad.. NOTE: torpe means when someone can't make a move on their crush. try to listening to the pinoy song "Romcom" by Rob Deniel

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

you hear bada grunt, the chair letting out a small squeak, "my date went horrible."

"again?" you snort. "how? i mean, that's been you're fifth date and you were only with her for like 45 minutes."

"i don't know, alright? we don't seem to click. like, at all." she complains.

a smile overtakes your face, finding her childish behaviour cute. you've always had a crush on her, ever since you two were in high school-- you don't know what happened, you've never had the courage to confess. now here you are, pining on your best friend of years.

her voice snaps you out of bubble, "it's so calming to see you make your own coffee."

"and why is that?" you throw her a quick look.

she just gives you a shrug, refusing to give you an answer.

"you're so annoying, you know that? i give you a question and you can't even give me a proper reply." you give her your middle finger, "what if i punch you right here, right now?"

her boisterous laugh pisses you off even more because you know you can't be mad at her for long. you two finishes your breakfast and head to your university.

"see you later at lunch, loser." she ruffles your hair.

you two part ways. aiki and noze comes up in your sight, and you know what they're gonna say to you.

"why don't you just confess?" aiki tries to ruffle your hair but you avoid her. "wow, are we not best friends?"

you've known them for years, too, just not as long as bada.

noze stops the two of you from fighting like children, "she has favouritism, aiks. and you two stop that, we're gonna be late."

hours pass by and it's finally lunch time. the moment you step out of the room, you see bada standing there-- your sundo. her eyes light up like the stars when her gaze fell on you.

"hey," you look up at her, "been waiting long?"

she grabs your stuff, "nah, just got here like three minutes ago. let's go, i found a new coffee shop."

"if only i drink coffee, i would have palpitations because of the crazy amounts we go to a cafe." you jest.

bada's dance club, team bebe, watches the two of you walk away.

lusher starts, "why doesn't she just..."

"date y/n." the rest of the team finished.

aiki and noze, who were walking by, heard them and exclaimed in defeat.

"right?! good lord, they're both torpes." noze kidds out.

the red haired woman can only sigh, "they're a living romcom."

back to the two of you, you are currently hitting bada as you laugh at something she said.

"no shit?" bada gives you a cocky grin. "okay, ms. womanizer."

you see her open her mouth but a random woman suddenly came to your table.

"bada? fancy seeing you again."

you're guessing this is the woman whom she took out on a date earlier. you excuse yourself to go the washroom, bada was hoping to stop you but the woman was basically hogging her to herself.

you go to the washroom, fixing yourself and gathering your thoughts. but the woman from earlier suddenly came in.

"hi, y/n."

"hello..? you know my name?" confusion etched on your face.

she giggles, "who wouldn't? bada talks about you all the time-- yes, even on her blind dates. no wonder they don't go too well. piece of advice, make a move on her." ending the sentence with a wink.

you stand there dumbfounded for a few seconds before exiting and saying thank you on your way out. you're stuck in a dazed, that information confusing the shit out of you.

"what's wrong? you look like you've seen a ghost." bada feels your forehead.

you stare up at her, "'m not sick."

she returns your gaze.

at this moment-- this very moment, bada feels a gush of air enters her lungs. being like this, so close to you; she realises one thing: you are everything to her.

"do you.." her thumb rubs your cheekbone, making you lean to her touch. "wanna go on a date with me?"

✮⋆˙♡₊˚ 🦢・₊✧🦭✧˖°

let's take a quick break from steamy scenes hehe

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

childhood friends to lovers headcanons

poly kyle broflovski & kenny mccormick

— ♡

— you aren’t really sure how you managed to do it

— one minute kenny and kyle are your brothers, and the next you want to kiss them

— what’s even worse is it’s not just one, it’s both

— you’ve been best friends since you were pretty much born

— your parents had all been best friends since high school so that made all of you friends

— hell, you’d taken baths with them until you were nine

— and then one day, kenny touched your back in a way that left butterflies in your stomach

— and kyle absentmindedly put his hand on your thigh while he was telling a story

— you were absolutely sure you were fucked

— now you were stuttering and blushing around them

— but they definitely caught on and had a conversation amongst each other about it

— “who do you think they’re into?” “i think it’s me, personally. i’m the hotter one out of the two of us.” “you’re just saying that because i have a stupid crush on you.” “who says it’s one sided?”

— now they’re boyfriends and you want to dig yourself into a hole and never enter society again

— you cried about it for a long time

— but eventually you started hanging out with them again

— it was torture

— you third wheeled the entire time

— so you cried about it for a while again

— until they both text your group chat begging you to come to kyle’s

— so you come in sweatpants

— they pretty much tackle you the second you walk in

— and you hate yourself for the butterflies you get

— kyle suggests a sit down conversation between the three of you

— goes a little something like this:

“we know you like one of us. who is it?” kyle asks, legs crossed at the ankles and hands clasped in his lap. you freeze like a deer in headlights, heart stopping. kenny flashes a grin that makes your heart race, then deflate when you realize he’s not yours to be excited about.

“i have no clue what you’re talking about,” you stutter, grimacing at the squeaky voice your words come out in. kenny rolls his eyes, throwing an arm over your shoulders and kyle’s.

“c’mon sweetheart. don’t play coy,” he drawls, once again shooting you a charming smile he’d usually only use on kyle. “we know you’re crushing. just tell us who.”

“not a chance,” you squeaked, a blush on your face. your stomach was doing cartwheels.

“we can do this all day, baby. just tell us,” kyle hummed, craning his neck to look at you around kenny. you hesitated for a moment, nausea building, heart hammering, hands shaking.

“fine,” you whispered. kenny’s hand rubbed your farthest shoulder, rocking your body a bit with the gesture. you swallowed the lump in your throat. “both of you.”

kenny groaned, head falling back, and kyle sunk.

“we both lost the bet,” kenny sighed.

“but that’s besides the point,” kyle interjected, making pointed eye contact with you, then kenny, then you again. you were squirming in your seat, feeling the strong urge to cry, wringing your hands in your lap.

“this is true, kyle. i’ve always fancied the idea of a throuple,” kenny hummed. your heart jumped into your throat.

“i suppose a third isn’t a horrible idea. especially when they’re as cute as our y/n here.”

“yes, yes, i agree. how do you feel about joining our relationship, sweet, sweet y/n?”

you blushed harder, stomach full of swarming butterflies, heart in your throat, palms sweating. you couldn’t speak through the anxious lump in your throat, so you just offered a nod that left both of them with a pleased expression.

— now you’re a throuple

— it was a bit confusing at first

— especially figuring out the cuddle situation

— it ended with you in the middle and the boys holding hands on top of your stomach

— kyle’s bed is the only one big enough for the three of you to fit comfortably

— dates were also confusing at first

— none of you are good at making decisions, so kyle had to pick the location for the first few

— eventually dates became movies and takeout on kyle’s mom’s couch

— she’s the most okay with your relationship surprisingly

— gerald’s just proud of his son for getting not one, but two bitches with that big ass brain of his

— kenny’s parents are too drunk and methed out to really care

— your parents don’t really approve of it but they don’t have much of a choice since you’re an adult

— you and kyle mostly study and read together

— you and kenny game and create absolute chaos in supermarkets together

— kenny and kyle balance each other out, and you’re like the best addition

— kyle’s very calm and logical but with a temper, kenny’s chaotic and impulsive but great at calming people down, you’re the greatest caregiver and the most empathic

— it’s like the most successful trio ever

— kyle always drives, you always get passenger, and kenny always gets backseat with aux privileges

— you cook, kyle cleans, kenny organizes

— all your issues are talked about in the moment and fixed right then where they start thanks to kyle

— ultimately just the biggest relationship goals

[rosypenguins]

🩵Hailey Headcanons🩷

(Honestly, out of all the Music Club members, Hailey’s probably the one I’m the least attached to, but I absolutely adore her dynamics with other characters, so… this’ll mostly about her relationships with others lol.)

🩵Used to be a HUGE tattle-tale when she was young. (Would always threaten to tell on Zander for everything.) (Zander reminds her of this a lot and she cringes every time.)

🩷Loves women’s country music, and will blast it in her room just to annoy Zander.

🩵Hailey has REALLY BAD split ends, and Zander’s always getting on her case about it, telling her to just cut it off. She refuses.

🩷Her and Zander used to fight over everything when they were young. They were horrible at sharing.

🩵Sometimes when Hailey gets anxious she’ll typically grab Zander’s sleeve. (Which activates Protect Brother Mode.)

🩷Often asks for Zander’s help planning outfits for special occasions.

🩵Sends Zander a lot of her Pinterest finds.

🩷Vents to Zander about almost everything.

🩵*sips tea* “I know what you are…”

🩷The absolute no. 1 Lander shipper. (Anyone who claims to support them more can fight her.)

🩵If she wants Zander to do something for her, she’ll usually get Luke to ask him. (Because Zander almost never says no to Luke.)

🩷Used to give Luke little hints about Zander’s wants and interests, just to help him pick out gifts and whatnot.

🩵Despite knowing Luke for years, she still doesn’t know much about his own personal problems.

🩷Hasn’t gone one club session without having to yell: “MILLY!!!” at least once. (Either because of something stupid she did, or something out-of-pocket she said.)

🩵Her and Milly are bi and I do not take criticism. They definitely spent a night or two gossiping about actresses they find cute.

🩷Probably the worst with technology, and usually has to get either Zander or Sean’s help. (There was definitely a time where her computer wasn’t working, and Zander fixed it simply by turning off and on again.) (She felt like an idiot for weeks afterwards.)

🩵Sean has given Hailey a couple lessons on how to edit music, yet she still struggles with understanding how everything works.

🩷Finds Jake to be super cute. (And always has, even before he joined the club.) (And the fact he was cute only made her hate him more.)

🩵Hailey has given Jake a few guitar lessons. Her hand grazed his once during one of them and she still isn’t fully over it.

🩷Post competition, Hailey played Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ on her guitar, and could only imagine Jake while she played it. She still doesn’t really know why. (HMMMM I WONDER-)

🩵She thinks back to the time Jake pinned her against the wall randomly and screams internally.

🩷Still thinks about her and Lia’s old friendship sometimes.

🩵Lia probably had a crush on her back in Middle School, but Hailey was too dense to realize. (Hailia has me in a chokehold-)

🩷Both her and Lia love strawberry ice cream, and would often go out to a little ice cream parlor and split a cone or something.

[ginsengkitten]

༺ Beautiful Dangerous ༻

༺☆༻

Chapter Eleven

Written in Plain Sight

A/N:

Tysm for your patience with this one. May is a difficult month for me for personal reasons. I’m still writing and I’m so excited for you guys see where this heads. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Dear Slash,

Im sorry I didn't write you sooner. Things have been a little crazy since I got home. Well, not home actually. My parents have turned me in to this special all girls Christian school that specializes in "troubled young women". Apparently they can legally do that even though I've just turned 18! I never agreed to it, they just left me here. In the middle of nowhere- with these weird nuns. They haven't told me how often mail is sent out so I'm not sure how often I'll write, but I promise I will.

I'm sorry how I left things. I didn't know they were coming to take me home. I tried to say goodbye but they gave me no chance. Please forgive me. This summer was the best time of my whole life. Because I met you.

I know letters are a little prehistoric these days, but I've no access to a phone here. Again, I promise to write often. I'll call you as soon as I'm out.

Love, Foxey.

-

Dear Slash,

I'm not sure if you are receiving my letters. If you are and just don't want to speak to me, I understand that. I know mail can take a while... anyways. I figured writing to you helps me pass the time here. This place is awful. It's been 2 weeks of hell. I was forced to detox from everything. It's been so hard. I hardly sleep at night. But when I do, I am so happy because I dream of you. I also daydream a lot. It helps me get through the day. The days are long and boring. There's not really a curriculum here. Even though they call it a school. The nuns are mean. They took away all my clothing and I have to wear a white dress everyday and every night. It's cold and uncomfortable. Each day consists of the same thing. They wake you up at 6 am every fucking morning. It's barely light out. Then you have to clean your room. If you can only eat breakfast if you pass morning room inspection. I've failed 5 times so far...

Anyways. Sorry. I don't mean to complain to you. I don't have anything exciting to write about. I hope you have having very exciting experiences in LA still. Please write me when you can... I want to know how you are!

Love, Foxey

-

Slash,

Today was horrible. Just horrible. I'm sorry to write you only my miseries, but it feels like that's all I have left lately. Turns out, if you don't comply with every single whim and precision- even making the wrong face, or the tone of your voice, the nuns will be violent with you. They carry rulers, books and at times, even their bare hands- are weapons. I can't exactly remember what I did first to step out of line, all I remember was sister Agatha (she's a total bitch) slapping me so hard across the face, the stinging lasted for hours. I cried a little but only in private. I don't think I want to let them see me cry. I don't want them to know they have that power!

I still wait for your reply. I hope you are well.

Love, Foxey.

-

Hi There,

It's been a while. Sorry for that. I don't have much different to say to you. Or much at all. I think I get your message from your silence. If it all meant nothing to you after all, then so be it. I think maybe I belong here anyways. It's best for everyone. I want to let you know it really hurts me to accept that you are done with me. With us. Just like that. But I respect your decision- even if it's shitty. Maybe that's all rockstars are is shitty. So there. You're shitty and I wish we never met. I hope you're happy.

Best of luck with everything. I love you.

Y/N.

-

And just like that. It was over. The silence from Slash over the past two months was only an added pain to the hell you already endured. For your own sanity, hope was crushing you and you had to give it up. Your parents had called once, but the nuns ensured you weren’t telling them the truth of what it was like there. As quickly as it all unraveled, you sank into your new reality. Pushing out thoughts of escape as the former attempts were futile and had only ended in harsher and harsher punishment .

It was colder now into early November. Other girls had come and gone periodically, none staying long enough for it to be worth harboring any sort of relationship. You spent your days in the day room, a dim, sulky living room type space in the center of the building. Empty tables with broken chess pieces and puzzles with missing pieces scattered. You took throne to an old green chair by the large window.

One person you had managed to form any sort of connection with was the oldest nun in the practice, Sister Graham. She seemed worn down and tired of it all, due to her age, and lack of violence and stern, she’d been demoted down to a secretarial duty. She’d find reasons to come and talk to you when she could. Small but meaningful conversations. The two of you formed a secret bond of hatred for this place. A mutual understanding that this was all that was left for both of you. She’d share bits of her life before she became a nun. She had been sent away at the age of 16 after running away from an arranged marriage to a man 20 years her senior at the time. You felt sad for her, sorry for her, confused as to why she remained here. You told her about your past, how you ended up there. You even opened up to her about Slash and the magical summer you had. She seemed to appreciate the glimmer that became of you when you spoke of it all. Like she understood what it meant to feel young and in love. What it felt like to feel misunderstood and suffocated by the normalcy of the world. She made you feel special amidst it all. And then, one day, she was gone. You waited all week for her to show.

You prodded at nuns all morning as to where she was, “did she die?” “Did she retire?” “Is she sick?” You skipped around. Each question was met with harsh and rude snaps of silence and threatening looks. The confusion and hurt flatlined you again. Back to nothingness. You shifted in bed, staring at the ceiling, images of Slash, summer, everything, bleeding through your mind like a movie. The anger of his silence, the hurt, the betrayal, all of it stung within you so badly. Allowing it to get to you, you angrily chuck your pillow to the other side of the room with a frustrated sob. Feathers bust out of the pillow, completely ruining it. You came to your senses quickly with regret and knelt over the pillow to pick up the discarded feathers. You hadn’t changed your pillow case this week, and now you’ve broken the pillow altogether. Great. It was sure you’d get punished for this in the morning. Your hand brushes against a piece of paper as you sift through the feathers. That’s odd- where did this come from? You pick it up and it appears to be a small folded note. You take a precautious look at your door before unfolding it.

“R. 308

Nov. 21. 8pm to west wing parking lot.”

What the hell? You don’t recall writing this down. This was clearly stuffed in your pillow case. When? Why? What does it mean? Did someone put this here? Your heart beat with confusion, apprehensive to feel any sort of excitement at fear of being disappointed again. It was late, and there was seldom to do with this new information except to sleep on it. So you did.

Surely enough, as you had predicted, the nuns took notice of your destroyed pillow and sentenced you to janitorial duties for the entire day. You scrubbed away at the hallway at the end of the wing. Dragging your bucket of dirty water like a gross companion. You grumbled to yourself as you mopped. Suddenly a sister enters the hallway from out of a room and almost slips on the fresh wet floor. She gives a stabbing glare.

“Well hurry it up and get it finished so you’re not such a hazard girl.” She snarks as she walks away. You want to bark back but you know better. The room she had left was left cracked. You stared at the door with curiosity before noticing the room number plaque before you .

“Room 308”.

Wait a minute. R308? Like the note? You take yet another precautious glance behind you to the empty hall to ensure no one would see you now sneak yourself into the room.

Surely there’s something of importance in here? It appeared to be some sort of administrative office. Piles of papers decorated the entire room. You strolled around carefully eying everything. This is a mail room, this is all mail? This is all patient mail, no? It is. How interesting? Why’s there so much in here? Your eyes scan and roll over a large stack prominently sticking out of a box on the desk. You recognize the stationary and realize it to be some of your own letters to slash. What the hell? You start shuffling through the box in a greater panic and confusion. These were all supposed to be sent out, sent to Slash! Were none of them ever mailed?! Your heart dropped to your stomach and your chest tightened.

You wanted to stay longer, to further examine and investigate this, but the reality was clear. No letters written had been sent to anyone. They lied. You hurriedly skimmed through the pile to see if any had come in from Slash but you only saw the ones you wrote. All of them opened too. They’ve just been reading them and keeping them….

Before you could sulk, you quietly exited the room to ensure no one saw you sneaking in there. Clearly you were not supposed to know this. Rage, Hurt, Confusion, coiled inside you once more. All this time? Out of all the emotions rushing through you at that moment, the scariest one was now hope. Hope again filtered into you. Maybe Slash had never ignored you. Maybe he just didn’t know where to write!

After returning to your room that evening, you re read the obscure note once more.

“Nov 21”

That’s tomorrow. Nov 21st is tomorrow. Someone wants me to go to the west parking lot at 8pm tomorrow. But who? And why?

[the-au-collector]

Random Things I forgot to add in my braindump for my Radio AU:

Twilight is Time and Malon’s nephew. I think I’m going to make his relation through Uli, so that makes Uli and Malon sisters in this AU

Legend used to go to college in Mabe City, but moved away after his Koholint Trauma happened. He still has friends there, like Ralph, Din, and Nayru, but he rarely visits

Sun races cars. Not professionally or for sport, no. She’ll just drive at 80mph down some old country road for the hell of it. Sky and Groose often join her

Sky, Sun, and Groose all came from Sky City. That said, they somehow never met until college. They find this very funny and will call each other “strangers”

Legend and Fable’s biological father is Raven, but he was very inconsistent with his job and eventually left them with Alfon, his adopted brother (and I am realizing I need a family tree for this AU😵‍💫).

Time is an orphan. He was never adopted growing up, but he was closest to the Kokiri family. They had a daughter named Saria who he still calls his older sister. She’s an ecologist now

Time secretly spoils Wolfie

Twilight will take Wolfie for “walks” (aka, he will sneak Wolfie into his and Wild’s house despite there being a strict no dogs policy. Revali has tried getting them in trouble before but hasn’t succeeded yet)

Wolfie is the favorite whenever Wild hosts a party

Time has somehow become emotionally attached to these radio kids. He was not supposed to get emotionally attached

Sky and Sun hope to get married sometime after graduation, preferably sooner than later

First is everyone’s favorite when he’s around. That said, he’s still the oldest and most responsible when having fun.

Crimson swears

Ravio has tried reaching Sheerow to talk

Legend doesn’t drive (anymore)

Warriors has the gaudiest car, according to Legend. Legend’s right

Styla and Legend are like BFFs. They also met when Legend did Fashion Design. Styla often makes costumes for the school plays as well

Shadow hung out with a bad crowd in high school. He’s doing better now.

Where are the colors you ask? Four’s genderfluid so he uses them to indicate his gender. Vio = she/her. Green = he/him. Red = they/them. Blue= any, they don’t care.

Vaati is Shadow’s biological father, who married Four’s mom when Shadow and Four were 12. Four’s mom died when they were 14, then Vaati went into prison when they were 15 (they really are unrelated incidents). They began living with Grandpa Smith after that.

Yuga is Ravio and Hilda’s dad. He’s really strict and not a good person. He wants them both to go into business. Ravio is playing his hand until he can be totally independent. Hilda is a high school senior and wants to major in fine art. Yuga hates this. He especially hates that Ravio is completely supportive of Hilda… and also that Ravio never comes around anymore.

Hilda’s started being invited to Legend’s uncle’s house for holidays. She can’t come to all of them because of Yuga but she does come to Thanksgiving now

Alfon refuses to let anyone be alone over the holidays. He will force Legend and Ravio to bring their friends over if they have no one in the area or anywhere to go

Flora and Fauna grew up under a lot of pressure from their dad. Fauna feels it more since she’s older, but Flora definitely feels it too. They’re both perfectionists

Impa and Purah are Paya’s cousins in this AU. Paya’s very shy so they try to get her to go out more. Paya has a huge crush on Wild and is teased endlessly for it

Flora has this huge crush on this one guy in her anthropology class. His name is Tauro

Age and Wild didn’t get along for a long time after the house fire. Wild got his burns and amnesia from protecting Age but obviously doesn’t remember this. As a kid, Age thought Wild was purposefully forgetting everything. Wild honestly feels horrible for forgetting and is trying to get his memory back, but he hasn’t had much luck

Age and Wild are both named Link. It’s a family thing. They go by their middle names. Wilder is Wild’s official middle name. Age’s official middle name is August.

On the other hand, both Flora and Fauna’s middle names are Zelda. Flora’s full name is Florence Zelda Hyrule. Fauna’s name is just Fauna.

^ this is the same for Dawn and Aurora too

Hyrule, Dawn, and Aurora come from a very small town named Mido. Hyrule would play “Knights of Hyrule” with Dawn in the farm fields all around them. It’s where he gets his nickname from

Hyrule’s friends in high school were Bot, Error, and Bagu

[waitimcomingtoo]

hoax ~ p.p

chapter six: deja vu

series masterlist

The next morning, you felt like you were walking on air as you walked onto campus. Hearing Peter promise to love you as long as you wanted him to made you feel whole inside. You knew you didn’t need any man to complete you, but you also knew how special it was to be loved. Your life was feeling more and more like one of those romantic movies you loved and part of you couldn’t help but wonder if things were too good to be true.

“Someone looks happy.” Kate commented when you sat down at the library table.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said with a coy smile.

“Oh my God.” Gwen gasped. “You saw his face, didn’t you? You found out who he is?”

“He wanted to show me. But I said no.” You admitted.

“Excuse me? You said no?” MJ raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t want to disrupt our perfect night. If I saw his face, I’d just be left wondering why he didn’t show me sooner. And then I’d be focusing on that instead of the fact that I’m in the middle of a fairy tale romance with a guy I’ve been crushing on since MJ was still “straight”. Right, MJ?”

“I’m sorry, but when was MJ straight?” Gwen laughed and looked at her.

“Freshman year of high school.” MJ admitted. “I hadn’t figured it all out yet. And we had a very androgynous French teacher that looked good in his jeans.”

“Oh yeah! Mr. Andrews.” You gasped when you remembered. “He was so cute. I don’t even blame you. We all had a crush on him.”

“And now you’re in love with a man in tights. Isn’t it crazy how things work out?” MJ said sarcastically.

“I know you’re teasing me, but you’re actually right. It is crazy how things works out. I can’t believe I’m in love. I honestly never thought that would happen for me.”

“Aw. Why not?” Gwen frowned and rubbed your arm.

“It just didn’t seem in the cards for me that someone would fall in love with me and stay in love me once they really got to know me. No one ever really had crushes on me growing up. That kinda fucks with your head and makes you feel undesirable. So the fact that I’m in a loving relationship with someone I can trust and be myself around without fear of scaring him off is amazing to me. I guess it’s just still hard to believe sometimes.”

“Aw.” Kate gushed. “I’m happy for you, girl. I’m happy you’re in love. And that it’s with a nice, trustworthy man.”

“Those are rare.” MJ agreed. “Even though I’m still pretty firm on my stance that no man is to be trusted. Not even one’s that can shoot webs.”

“I wonder if he can shoot webs out of his butt.” Gwen thought out loud.

“He can’t.” You sighed. “Believe me, I asked. He said he makes his own web fluid so they can only come out of his wrists. No butt webs.”

“I guess that’s kinda a good. I was honestly really worried that he could shoot webs out of his penis. Because what if they grabbed onto your guts and yanked them out of you? Imagine how horrible that would be.”

“That can’t happen.” You laughed. “Oh shit. Wait, can it?”

“You better make sure he can’t shoot webs out of that thing because I do not want your guts all over our dorm room floor. It’s carpet.” MJ reminded you.

Ned and Peter came and joined the table, having no idea what conversation they were walking into. Peter looked at you and felt his heart ache in his chest. After everything you promised each other last night, he wanted nothing more than to kiss you hello and hold you in his arms. He’d never trusted a person more than you and he hated that he had now had to sit across from you and pretend that was some other guy.

“What are you guys talking about?” Ned asked when he noticed the table had gotten quiet.

“The trials and tribulations of Y/n getting her back blown out by Spiderman.” MJ said simply. Peter started choking on his water while you gave MJ a look.

“Great. Now you’ve killed Peter.” You sighed and clapped Peter on the back to help him out. He gave you a weak thumbs up as he wiped away the water that had come out of his nose.

“What kind of trials and tribulations?” Ned asked Peter.

“Wait, why did you look at Peter when you said that?” Gwen wondered and you nodded in agreement.

“Because Peter…” Ned trailed off when he saw Peter motioning for him to stop. Ned sighed and gestured to Peter.

“Why don’t you tell them why I looked at you, Peter?” Ned said pointedly. Peter gulped and looked between you and Ned as he scrambled for something to say. Everyone turned to look at Peter in confusion while Peter blushed all the way to his ears.

“Because I have feelings for you.” He blurted. “And Ned knows so he didn’t want me to hear this conversation.”

“You do?” You asked him.

“Woah. Plot twist. That every single one of us saw coming.” MJ said sarcastically.

“I mean, I guess I kinda had a feeling.” You admitted. “That’s really sweet though, Peter. I’m sorry you’ve had to hear me talk about my boyfriend so much. I wouldn’t have been saying all that stuff if I knew how you felt.”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about me.” Peter forced a laugh and waved his hand in dismissal.

“Really, dude? That’s what you’re going with?” Ned said in disappointment.

“Ned. Please. There are things you don’t understand.” Peter whispered to him.

“I think I understand plenty. I gotta go.” Ned sighed and left the table. Peter felt his heart sink as he watched his best friend walk away. Keeping this lie up might end up costing him the two most important people in his life.

“Well that was odd.” MJ noted.

“What’s his damage?” You asked Peter.

“Maybes he’s in love with Peter so Peter confessing his love for Y/n was too much for him to bear.” Kate shrugged.

“Or maybe he’s in love with Spiderman and was he was devastated to hear that Y/n stole both his men.” MJ added.

“Stop it guys. This is serious. Do you think I should ask my boyfriend if it’s possible that he could accidentally pull my guts out with his penis webs?” You genuinely asked your friends. Peter burst out laughing when he heard this in a way no one at the table was expecting.

“Woah, Peter. I’ve never heard you laugh like that.” You smiled at him in surprise.

“Sorry. It just caught me off guard.” Peter said sheepishly.

“Hm.” You faked a smile as your mind began to wander. Peters laugh sounded so familiar that it gave you a sense of deja vu. Even the way he threw his head back when he laughed was familiar to you, despite the fact you’d never heard Peter laugh like that before. He noticed you staring at him curiously and gulped. When you looked into Peters eyes, something you didn’t normally do, you felt something stir inside you.

“You have really nice eyes, Peter. I never noticed that.” You said to him with a look on your face that Peter couldn’t quite read.

“Wild thing to say to a friend who just confessed their feelings for you.” MJ mumbled.

“Oh, uh, thanks. They’re just brown.” He shrugged and stopped making eye contact with you.

“They’re a real nice shade of brown, though. Very pretty.” You continued as you titled your head to the side. You felt like you had seen those eyes before, and not just from being in the same friend group as Peter.

“Um, what’s happening?” MJ laughed uncomfortably. “Are you trying to get Peter to join you and Spidey in a throuple?”

“No. I just never noticed his eyes, okay?” You shrugged and stopped staring at Peter. Peter relaxed when you stopped interrogating him, but you weren’t done yet.

“So are you dating anyone, Peter?” You asked him, making him freeze.

“Yes, actually. I have a girlfriend.” He answered honestly. He needed to get through this conversation with as many honest answers as possible if he wanted to keep you as a girlfriend.

“Wait, really? Since when?” Kate asked.

“A few months ago.” Peter replied, still being honest.

“And you never said anything?”

“You never asked.” Peter shrugged.

“He’s right.” Gwen realized. “Sorry, Pete. She’s a lucky lady.”

“Not really. I’m not that great.” Peter sighed, still telling the truth. He was keeping things from you, and that made him less than a good person.

“Aw. Don’t say that.” You pouted. “I’m sure she’s very lucky to have you.”

“Thanks. That means a lot.” He said sincerely.

“No problem. And I mean that. Don’t doubt yourself and get all insecure. That’s never good in a relationship. You’re cute, smart, funny, and very surprising at times. Don’t start doubting what you have to offer. Because you’re a great guy.”

“Wait, you really think all those things about me?” Peter asked in surprise. He knew you felt all those things and then-some about Spiderman, but he didn’t think you ever even noticed him as Peter.

“Of course I do.” You said simply. Peter smiled and nodded his head, feeling more confident in telling you the truth now.

“Thanks. I didn’t realize you thought I was cute.” Peter said as he stared at your from across the table.

“Is cute all you got out of that? I said a lot of other things too.” You said with a coy smile.

“I know. But that one stood out.” He mumbled shyly and looked down at his lap.

“Woah. Sparks are flying. Throuple is growing imminent.” MJ snorted and you kicked her under the table.

“You’re totally cute.” You insisted. “I happen to love brown eyed boys. And the whole curly hair thing mixed with your soft preppy style is so in right now. I’m actually not surprised at all that you have a secret girlfriend.”

“Oh great.” MJ groaned. “Y/n fell in love and now she’s giving out compliments like she’s Mother freaking Theresa.”

“Me next. I want compliments.” Gwen sat up and clapped her hands. Peter tuned out the praises you showered Gwen with and sat deep in thought. Hearing you say you found him attractive meant there really was no excuse this time. Tonight, you were seeing his face no matter what.

After study hall, you waited outside Gwen’s locker while she put her books away so that you could walk to your next class together.

“Tonight’s definitely the night. I’m gonna find out who he is.” You decided.

“What if he says he’s still not ready?” Gwen asked as she shut her locker.

“He doesn’t have a choice anymore. I deserve to know. And if he still can’t trust me after all this time, he’s gonna have to find a new girlfriend.” You decided. Gwen smiled and wrapped an arm around you.

“Good for you, girlie. We can practice how you’re gonna ask him instead of listening in class.”

“You get me.” You chuckled and followed her into your next class.

That night, you had every intention of asked Peter and he had every intention of telling you. But both your plans were sidetracked when Peter had to postpone coming over to deal with an armed robbery at a bank. The robbers ended up being three times Peters size and wearing something Peter had never encountered before, brass knuckles. He got beaten up pretty badly but still managed to swing over to your parents place where you agreed to meet. He was too weak to use his hands so he knocked on your window with his forehead. You excitedly threw the window open but your smile immediately dropped when you saw the state Peter was in. He stumbled through your window and slumped into your chair.

“Oh my God. What happened to you?” You asked as you went to get your first aid kit. He pulled his mask up over his nose to gasp for air before hanging his head and starting to drift off.

“Me? You should see the other guy?” He smiled weakly and started nodding off again.

“Oh God. Don’t smile. Your really cute smile is full of blood.” You laughed and started to clean up the blood around his nose and mouth. His head was flopping around like a dead fish and you knew you didn’t have long before he passed out from the pain.

“You think I’m cute?” He teased you as you pressed the button on his suit to take it off.

“I do. Even with this busted lip.” You humored him as you cleaned the wounds on his chest and arms.

“It doesn’t even hurt that badly.” He slurred and lazily waved his hand before wincing from the pain of the hydrogen peroxide you were using.

“Sorry, baby. I meant to warn you. It’s gonna sting.” You apologized and kissed his knuckles.

“Oh God. Your knuckles look awful. Did you at least win the fight?” You asked and started to clean his bloody knuckles.

“Psh. Always.”

“The police had to pull them off of you before they could kill you, didn’t they?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m not even entirely sure I’m not dead right now.” He answered honestly.

“You’re not.” You chuckled. “You’re with me. I’m gonna take care of you, okay? Don’t you worry.”

“You’re so good to me. I love you so much, Y/n.” Peter said as he head slumped backwards.

“I love you too…” You said and trailed off when you realized you didn’t know his name and therefore couldn’t use it to tell him you loved him.

“It’s Peter. Peter Parker. From school.” He slurred, but you didn’t make out a word of it.

“What? I can’t understand you. I need to rinse your mouth out.” You said and poured some water into his mouth to rinse out the blood. After Peter spit, you could understand him better.

“I should’ve just told you right away. Ned was right.” He said apologetically as he cupped your face.

“Told me what? Did you say Ned? Like my friend?”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you. I just wanted you to like me.” Peter started to cry as his head slumped back onto his shoulder.

“Like you? What are you talking about? I love you.”

“I know. But I’m scared you won’t anymore after…” Peter trailed off as he finally lost consciousness from the pain.

“After what?” You asked desperately. You tried to shake him away but he was out cold. Your disappointment returned as you realized you’d missed your window to ask him about his identity. As you stared at him, you felt tempted to just rip the rest of his mask off and finally see the rest of his face. It would be so easy to just reach over and pull it off, then all your questions would be answered. He’d never even have to know. You reached out and and touched the wend of his mask, about to pull it off when you stopped yourself. You withdrew your hands and sighed. It wasn’t right to do it when he wasn’t awake. Especially not after everything you said about it needing its own special moment. So instead, you held back some tears and fixed up his wounds before carefully moving him into your bed. You crawled in bed beside him and held him until you fell asleep.

When Peter woke up the next morning, his suit was on your bedroom floor but his mask was still on. He sighed in relief and felt around the bed for you, but you were gone. In your place was a little note with your handwriting.

“Had to go to class. Sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up! Call me when you’re awake. Love you <3” You had written. You didn’t know that Peter had the same class, which he slept through by now. He noticed you had redressed his wounds and left him a cup of water with some ibuprofen beside it before you had left. He smiled at the gesture, then felt his guilt return. He was supposed to tell you everything last night but instead became your patient. He downed the water, threw his suit back on, and swung home so he could make it to his next class. He didn’t see you until study hall that day, and rushed to sit down when he saw you in the library. He put his hand on your shoulder and felt you relax under it before putting your hand on top of his. You looked up smiling but your face dropped when you realized it was Peter touching you. Peter then realized that he shouldn’t be touching you because you had no idea he was your boyfriend and yanked his hand away.

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” He quickly lied and sat beside you.

“It’s okay. I thought the same thing.” You laughed awkwardly. His touch had felt just like your boyfriends, but that felt weird to say. Peter suddenly felt eyes on him and looked up to see that you were staring at him like he had ten heads. Peter felt a panic grow in his chest and turned to you.

“Is everything okay?”

“What happened to your lip?” You asked him, making his blood run cold. He touched his busted lip, the one he had completely forgotten about, and forced a smile.

“Oh, nothing.” He said and turned away from you. You couldn’t stop staring at the cut on his lip. It was shaped like a “c” and on the bottom left of his mouth, the same place your boyfriends was last night. Peters busted lip looked much more healed then the one you had cleaned last night, but it was still bizarre to you that you were seeing your second busted lip in the past 24 hours.

“That’s a pretty bad nothing.” You said as you continued to access Peter. He was in long sleeves, despite the hot weather, and had another cut just above his eyebrow.

“I tripped and bit my lip.” He lied. “Hey, do you have the notes from class this morning? I wasn’t there.”

“Yeah, sure.” You handed him your notes without breaking eye contact. You had a feeling he was trying to change the subject, making you want to stay on topic all that much more. When he took your notes from you, you saw that his knuckles were completely busted.

“You busted your knuckles too?” You gasped and looked into his eyes.

“It was a bad fall.” He said quickly and hid his hands as soon as possible.

“Hm.” You hummed and nodded your head, but you didn’t believe a word. The rest of your friends soon joined you but you did not contribute much to the conversation. You were too busy thinking about the magnet on Spider-Man’s fridge for your college and how he never mentioned that he or someone he knew went there. Or how his parents died the same way Peters did, and at the same age. Or how he never texted you back during school hours. Or how he took you on specific dates that you dreamed of going on but never told him about. Or how looking into his eyes for the first time didn’t feel like it was the first time.

You looked over at Peter and watched his curly brown hair fall into his eyes as he laughed at something Ned was saying. You knew that laugh. It all started it feel like too much to be a coincidence. You got up from table and left without saying a word. Everyone was confused and debated who should go after you, but Peter convinced them to give you space. He had seen the look on your face when you saw his busted knuckles and he knew you were off somewhere, connecting dots. He tried not to panic and anxiously waited for study hall to end so he could change into his suit and walk you home. He’d tell you right away, before you had a chance to figure it out.

As he was throwing his books into his locker after study hall had ended, Peter’s phone rang and he picked it up.

“Hello?” He asked as he shut his locker and went to bolt out of school to see you.

“So it’s true?” Your heartbroken voice sounded in Peters ears. But your voice wasn’t just coming through his phone.

It was coming from behind him.

Peter slowly turned around and saw you standing there with your phone pressed to your ear. Tears were streaming down your face but you never broke eye contact. Peter hung up the phone and reached for you, but you pulled away.

“How could you?” You whispered.

“Wait, please. I can explain.”

🖤🕸️🖤

Tag List 🏷️

@miwagila @gidgett11037 @hoetel-manager @deffnotnia @uncle-eggy

@freakofmusic25 @loveleesthings @katerinaval @tom-hollands-wifey

@helen-on-earth @amberpanda99

[fadelbison]

Well something kind of funny just happened but I think it actually proves my point even more so here goes: I was trying to construct an argument about how the discourse around Thai branded pairs being 'real' or 'fake' is so short sighted and insular because what fans are trying to ask is "do you love and fuck each other within this rigid heteronormative lens" but what they ask is more along the lines of "are your feelings for each other real" and when people answer with a resounding 'YES!' it suddenly turns into lying when the answer to the implicit question turns out to be no.

But the truth is that the relationships between human beings are very complex and things can be intense, real and even be passionate without it falling under romance. I think this is especially true within queer friendships where being a little bit in love with your friends is at this point a widely accepted phenomenon. Anyone here whose job feels less like a job and more like a Trial By Fire knows that the bonds between you and your coworker are very, very real. And one of those jobs is acting - period. In the context of branded pairs that partnership suddenly amps up in intensity until you truly are having a very unique experience with only ONE other person in the entire world. This was of course all leading up to Krist and Singto, about how Krist really, genuinely likes Singto SO much, about that one (recent??) interview that I can no longer find where Singto said that he had to reassure KRIST that he wasn't leaving because of him - about how it's not always clear to the people experiencing the relationship itself what is truly happening between them. And part of that argument was going to include a small anecdote about a friendship breakup I had with a friend I used to do theatre with in middle-high school.

Well. This post is no longer focused on KristSingto so let's just get into the anecdote:

When I was in the 8th grade I started an unusual friendship with an 11th grader (Z) because we used to do theatre together. Many things made it unusual - we were of the opposite gender, a 4 year age gap at that age is HUGE, but also that he was a very reticent dude that almost never hung out with ANY juniors let alone female ones. But we became friends because:

1) We were scene partners, in fact, I was playing Zs secretary so every single one of my scenes was with him, I was almost never backstage without him because my entire role was following him around and saving him from the evil machinations of his adviser. We were backstage alone a lot because our entry and exit cues hugely overlap

2) I was nursing a horrible, terrible crush on a different 8th grader (B) also in the production and somehow this scary, reticent older dude was a HUGE gossip.

3) Z told me several years later that him befriending me during the production was part of a terrible matchmaking plot that the 11th graders had hatched to get me and B together because apparently our yearning for each other was difficult to witness. B had his own 11th grade buddy (the evil advisor in fact lol) coaching him. Spoiler: It didn't work b/c 11th grade boys make for TERRIBLE matchmakers.

But Z and I bonded in a way that was eye catching, part of that was because we were killing it on stage. We had amazing chemistry and we were kids so no one was coaching us to have chemistry. We just did because we trusted each other.

I cannot stress this enough that we were a comedy duo, our scenes were not even remotely romantic in nature. He was the King and I was his Jester but still people were buzzing from just watching our practices. I had unknown random girls come up to me to ask about my relationship with Z (people are always nosy about connection lol). Not only did the 11th graders FAIL but their very plot was one of the big reasons why B and I never got together because B would go on to believe for YEARS after that I was in love with Z 😭

Anyway, Z and I stayed great friends for long, long after that production and well into our adulthoods. A lot of our early years was me being sad over my unrequited love for B but I had more interests lol. We were basically ride or die and even had a marriage pact. We planned our honeymoon, we talked about what our married life would be like. We were completely platonic friends. We stayed good friends long distance for several years when I moved away for school. The friendship ended because I found out he was lying to his GF (now wife!!) about when he'd come to see me/hang out with me. And that was so disrespectful to both me and the girlfriend that I told him that we'll only hang out again if he introduced me to his GF. The reason why this never happened could have been because of a lack of opportunity since I live in a different country but we did completely stop talking after this.

Anyone who's actually managed to read all that is probably like girl your relationship was not COMPLETELY platonic. And like...yeah I'm realizing that now. Getting some clarity on a friendship breakup from 8 years ago that had caused me a lot of pain only because I started writing about it because KristSingto decided to simulate nasty fucking on stage.

Anyway, life is weird and KristSingto are about as real or fake as any other human relationship 🤷🏽‍♀️

[getinthefuckingcarkitten]

THE MESSIEST YURI POLYCULE EXPLAINED. Somewhat. Some notes abt them below readmore.

Kylar has really thick and beautiful hair, but she doesn't take care of it. Usually she wouldn't care and use it as a shield from outsiders, but Ronnie said once (1 time) that she'd like to see Kylar's face more so now she wears it up all the time. Once she had a crush on Foxglove, it ended horribly for her.

Robin has some small influence from Anthy in her design because if Ronnie is the prince, she's supposed to be the princess. This goes as well as expected (not at all). Her and Kylar have an unspoken brewing rivalry going on that could go off anytime, but she just can't bring herself to hate Sydney since Sydney is very nice and polite, just like Robin. Ougghhh the spell has turned against the spellcaster

Whitney broke her nose in a fight and pretends she doesn't care but is super insecure about it. She's still hung up on Foxglove even though they broke up long ago, which isn't helped in the slightest by the fact that Foxy often goes out to drink with her after a bad date with Avery, even if Whitney kinda knows she's being used she keeps telling herself that she's the one using Foxy.

Sydney came out with such peak old yuri design i am actually kinda proud... Anyway, she's the most unaware one in this mess. Or... Is she? Wants to rekindle her friendship with Kylar, but Kylar keeps pushing her away. So nice that she's such good friends with Kylar's girlfriend and they can hang out together, then :) (This may or may not blow up in her face because Ronnie can't and won't keep it in her pants)

Ronnie wants to fix everybody in the polycule but is also constantly doing worse than everybody god bless. She's in love with Robin but is dating Kylar out of pity but kinda liked Kylar but also kinda likes Sydney and Whitney is like her next target on the pet project list ever since she got too vulnerable after Ronnie stopped her from accidentally selling herself to the underground brothel like an idiot. She dislikes Foxglove for bullying Kylar and had a shit "breakup" with Avery that ended in them throwing hands in a pub (Avery lost LOL). If Sydney ever manages to drag her to a temple she'll pray on their downfall (as if she needs to).

I feel like i've talked enough about Foxglove and Avery... My meowmeows... Avery doesn't know or care about any of the other school LIs besides Robin. She doesn't exactly hate Robin but after getting beat by her in the middle of a fight with Ronnie she just hopes Robin looks both way before crossing the street.

Foxglove is sort of friends with Robin, but they're not very close. Robin has always been nice to her which she can appreciate since she came to the orphanage in a pretty bad state, but they both have bigger stuff to worry about. I might make their relationship more relevant to my personal plot or not idk it depends...

[emb-bbg445]

The game

Black!fem y/n

Summary: you and miles go to a game with some of your friends and you come across an ex guy bsf who had secretly had a crush on you.

Warning:some fluff, lil make out,cussing, a bit of the n word

—————————————————————————

The black Toyota then stops at the front entrance of the school. "Bye mom, thanks for dropping me off." You said as you then stepped out the car gently with you're phone in your other hand. "No prolem. Stay safe, and call me if you need anything." She said. You then close the door and start walking up to the gate, looking for your close friend, Miles. You two had been hanging out for quite some time, y'all would flirt from time to time, and you sorta started to catch feelings. But you didn't want to ruin yalls friendship.

You then pay for your football ticket and cross through the gate and see Miles waiting for you. Your eyes light up and you then walk up to him. And give him a hug. "Hey Miles."You said wrapping you arms around him. "Cmon, you gotta mean some of my friends. They'll really like you!" You said with excitement. You then take his hand and start rushing towards the bleachers to where a bunch of other people were. Him slightly tripping on how fast you were rushing. "Hold up Ma, slow down." He said forming a smile. 

You then look around for your group. "Y/N!" A voice shouts on the opposite direction of you. You then turn your head to see your best friend and your other friends waiting for you. You then smile and rush over to her and hug her as you two squeal from being reunited. Mile's watched in the distance. He smiled at how happy you were. He then slowly walked over and stood beside you. "Oh I'd like you guys to meet someone. This is my friend, Miles." You say stepping aside for him.

He then waves at then slightly and you all head over to the bleachers and start talking. Y'all catch up on some of your stories of how Highschool was going. After all some of these friends you hadn't seen since middle school, so you were really happy to reunite and catch up.

You all spend the next 2 hours sharing stories about some people in the past and how things are going with them as the night starts to settle in. "Oh yea y/n, remember Dominic?"ybsf/n asks. You then roll your eyes in realization and remembrance of him. "I heard he tried joining the football team, and he couldn't even deadlift 60lbs!"  And and your best friend laughed at the random boy she brought up. Miles eyes widen at your guys sudden conversation. "Who the fuck is Dominic?" Miles asked curiously.

"Oh it was just this guy I used to be friends with. I used to have a crush on him, but that nigga then started acting weird as shit." You said rolling your eyes. "What do you mean weird as shit?" Miles asked once more. "He was always staring at me, he got me something on Valentine's Day, but then again he would always treat me a certain way, and he was such a fucking bitch. He was such a hypocrite, he was extremely selfish, and he was just overall a bad person." You continued.

"I just disliked him because not only did he act like he liked me-which he most likely did- but he would also say he didn't, and then go off and start caring about the people I had crushes on!" You yelled angrily. Just the thought of that boy made you so pissed off. "Wouldn't he also make fun of you for having Dark skin??" One of your friends asked. "OH YEA! That nigga was so fucking racist! Like how are you that disloyal to your people??" 

Miles then stared at you listening to you rant about this extremely horrible friend you had in the past. "Oh Hermosa, he shouldn't have treated you like that. Your skin is perfect just how it is." Miles said concerned. You then smile at his comment. "Thanks Miles." Suddenly, a voice then shouted out your name. "YO Y/N!" 

You then turned your head to see the one and only. Dominic. Him and his friend group were down at the bottom standing watching you, some of them giggling on the side. 

You then suck your teeth and walk down to him and his friend group backs up. "The hell you want Dominic?" You asked, annoyed at his sudden appearance. 

"Damn you just gon come after to me like that? Not no Hi or Hello??"

"Just get to the point please." You roll your eyes. 

He then looks you up and down and smiles. You then scrunch your nose disgusted at his sudden gesture. "You look great tonight" he says flirtatiously. "What are you tryna say?" You ask as your eyes widen. He sighs. 

"Look the truth is..I've liked you for so long. And I can't take it any longer. I wish I said somethin' sooner, but I honestly thought you were the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on." His friends then start Ooooing in the back getting hyped at him. You then sigh and take a deep breath. 

"Look man imma keep it a buck but... I don't like you like that. First off you're extremely immature, your very toxic, you don't give a shit about your appearance, or hygiene. Uhh not to mention you couldn't even describe you're own personality like nigga you literally didn't fucking have one. You don't care about your grades whatsoever ever- you basically don't give a shit about yourself whatsoever, and you damn sure didn't give one about mine when we were friends from the way you treated me. So what makes me think you're gonna treat me better in a relationship?" 

The way his friends faces dropped in shock from your reasoning was outrageous. "Woww okay you dirty fuckin monkey bitch! You just not finna get wit me??!" He yells. He then backs down when you then feel a sudden hand on your waist.

"Do we have a problem nigga?"

It was Miles. He  then stared at your ex guy best friend with dead, narrow eyes. The then looks down in defeat. "N-no.. no we don't" he says walking away back to his friend group.Miles then noticed your face still full of emotion. "Cmon, let's leave." He says still holding onto your waist. You guys then walk out and walk around the school building, and he just hears you rant non stop about the whole situation and how much of a horrible person your ex guy best friend still was. "Y/n stop." Miles kept repeating, but you couldn't stop rambling about the guy. 

"Ma please, stop." He says now assertively and taking you by the shoulders turning you to face him. "Oh...I-I'm sorry Miles, I didn't mean to-"Stop apologizing as well." 

"Oh..okay, what's wrong?" You ask surprised. Your heart starts to slowly accelerate as you two were now face to face. You could feel his breath near your neck. "Because the second I heard and saw that man, and the way he treated you, I wanted to punch him so hard he gets a dislocated and broken nose, throw you over my shoulder, and take you home."

Your heart quickens in pace. "What?" You say faintly. "I'm saying I want to be more than friends Princesa." You two then stare at each other, him at this point pinning you against the dry brick walls. He then moves his hands to your waist and pushes you against him pressing his lips onto yours. You then slowly melt into the kiss returning it. You then wrap your arms around his neck as he then roams his hands around your body as if it's something new to explore. 

He then goes lower to your hips and down to your thighs lifting you up. Feeling the fabric of your cargos. You then wrap your legs around his waist as he slightly grips your legs to not let you go. He then pulls away to look at you again. "I like you too." You say to reply to his comment earlier. He then starts kissing you around your jawline and down your neck. Tickling your neck slightly as you then hold your hands on his head. He then goes back to your lips and continues to kiss you. 

All of a sudden, somebody yells your full government name. You and Miles stop kissing and turn to see your friend group catching you two in the act. "Called it!" Your best friend yelled. Miles then lets you down gently. "Sorry. I forgot to tell y'all I left" you say in embarrassment. "Girl it's nothin. But the game just ended Fr, so erybody kinda leavin. Yall wanna go get sum to eat wit us?" She asked. 

You then turned to Miles and gave him a look. He approved and took your hand. You and your friends now walking to the car to head off as you text your mom on where you were soon to be.

[avpdpossum]

Hi. After following a hyperfixation rabbit hole (thank you, ADHD and Autism) I have been wondering if I have AvPD. I've been obsessively researching it for a while now, and it would make a lot of sense for the struggles i've been facing that just aren't really explained by my other diagnoses but also aren't really *normal* per se, but I'm scared I'm wrong or just looking for something else to be "wrong" (i put wrong in quotes bc i dont think any disability/mental illness is actually something wrong, but that's how a lot of the people around me perceive it) with me so I feel like my suffering is more valid. My thoughts and hang ups are this:

I feel like my avoidance isn't severe enough to qualify (also me: hasn't made a follow-up appointment with either my neurologist or psychiatrist bc the idea of making the phone call "wrong" is crushing; changes the time I eat lunch so I don't have to either ask to sit with the people I know would let me sit with them bc they consider me or a friend or have them see me sitting alone even tho I literally like them and want them to be my friends; still haven't applied for my college housing accoms that I literally need bc I'm too scared i'll get turned down; feels crushing embarrassment even existing in the same space as my roommate; has a grand total of 1 friend)

It could just be my social anxiety/autism/agoraphobia. I feel like none of these really explain how deeply I feel rejection (my best friend was too busy to eat dinner with me like we usually do bc finals season and I nearly threw up bc of how much it hurt, and I ended up in tears for almost an hour) or just how crushingly embarrassing I find being perceived by others/existing to be (I literally can't make phone calls unless I'm locked in my dorm without my roommate there because I feel like people will judge me for doing a normal human activity like answering my mom's phone call; can't brush my teeth in the morning bc what if people see and only do it at night when most of the dorm hall is asleep), the constant reassurance I need from people (I'm constantly asking my best friend (only friend really) if I'm annoying them/too much work/going to get left by them/actually welcome to hang out with them).

I also wonder if my self-esteem is too high since I know low self-esteem is a key part of AvPD? I don't feel like I'm inferior academically/intelligence wise, hell I'm kind of arrogant in that respect, but also feel like I'm not good enough/interesting enough/pretty enough/funny enough for someone to want to be around me and have struggled with suicidal ideation because of it. I sometimes (by that I mean almost weekly) have meltdowns where I end up just wallowing in my own self-hatred for hours and ignoring people's texts/my homework bc I feel like i'm not good enough to have friends/long term partners.

I'm also not particularly quiet when I *am* in social situations. I tend to blurt out whatever's on my mind, even though I immediately regret it 99.9999% of the time, and my ADHD impulsivity results in me interrupting people a lot even tho it makes me feel like a horrible person. I always feel like I've overshared to everyone (tho my best friend, the only person I can be around all the time and not have a meltdown, says I actually under-share and should open up more to people).

I don't have any childhood trauma that could have caused it, at least I don't think? Like. My parents are amazing, they've always been there for me emotionally and physically. I was kind of bullied in pre-school through elementary school (people would take stuff from my bag and throw it and make me "fetch like a dog," I was really short so they'd hold stuff out of my reach) and never really had friends in middle school, just these three girls who let me hang out with them when I was around but would ignore my texts a lot, not invite me places they were going, etc, and after I moved away just before high school i didn't really bother to try making friends bc even tho i was lonely it just didn't seem like it was worth it bc they wouldn't like me anyway and I was just gonna go to college soon and they'd leave me then but none of that's really traumatizing?

I don't know. I feel like it really fits but also like if it were actually a big enough problem to qualify as a personality disorder my therapist would have caught it by now? And I'm scared to bring it up bc if she thinks i'm wrong i'll probably never want to talk to her again bc i'd be so embarrassed. Sorry, this was really long. If you actually read all of this, I guess I just want to ask if you think it's even possible I could have it.

i'll give you the short answer first: yes, it's absolutely possible that you could have it. i can't tell you if you do or not, but i can tell you that all of the doubts you mentioned are things i've personally struggled with while figuring my avpd out.

i'll put a much more in-depth answer addressing each of your concerns under the cut:

I'm scared I'm wrong

here's the thing: being wrong doesn't hurt anyone. people will act like researching your own potential diagnoses and coming to the wrong conclusion is the end of the world, but the reality is, there's very little actual harm that could come from a self-misdiagnosis.

with a clinical diagnosis, if the doctor is wrong, that could end with consequences like taking the wrong medication or doing therapies that do more harm than good to you. but just doing your own research and coming to your own conclusion? the worst that happens is you use the wrong word for a while and then eventually realize it doesn't fit as well as you thought it did, or you ask a doctor about it and they decide it's not a good fit and (if they're a good doctor) help guide you toward a more accurate explanation of what you're experiencing. either way, there's no harm done!

or just looking for something else to be "wrong" with me so I feel like my suffering is more valid

here's the thing: whether avpd is the answer or not, you're suffering. and if you're suffering and you want to better understand why that's happening, you're allowed to do that! your suffering is valid whether there's a name attached to it or not, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to want a name for it. it's only natural to want to understand why you feel the way you do and find people like you.

and if you're worried about a "psychology student syndrome" kind of thing – that you might just be projecting symptoms onto yourself that you don't really experience – the best thing you can do for that is to take some time to really look at yourself and your life and see if you see those things taking place. don't worry about if they're "as bad" as other people's; if you see examples of those things in your life and you're suffering because of them, that's all it takes to know you're genuinely experiencing it.

I feel like my avoidance isn't severe enough to qualify

it seems like you already know this on some level, but yeah, all of the things you listed after this sentence absolutely sound like some pretty significant avoidance to me. again, i can't tell you if it's avpd or not, but those do sound like the kinds of things i would count toward my own self-diagnosis if it were me.

there's no hard line of how severe your avoidance has to be, or any real way to objectively measure severity in the first place. if those things are getting in the way of you living your life and/or causing you to suffer emotionally, that means they're bad enough to be taken into consideration.

the secret is, almost no one feels like what they're experiencing is bad enough. i've had times in my life where my avoidance literally almost killed me, and i still wonder if it's "bad enough". don't let that imposter syndrome feeling stop you from better understanding your brain and getting the support you need.

It could just be my social anxiety/autism/agoraphobia. I feel like none of these really explain how deeply I feel rejection or just how crushingly embarrassing I find being perceived by others/existing to be, the constant reassurance I need from people.

this feeling was actually exactly what started me on the path that led to me realizing i had avpd. i knew that i was autistic and socially anxious, and i thought for a long time that those explained what i was experiencing, but the more i interacted with people around me who were also socially anxious autistics, the more i realized i was dealing with something none of them seemed to understand.

and all of the things you described – intense emotional dysregulation caused by rejection and embarrassment and needing constant reassurance to function in social situations – are classic avpd things. so i would say, if your gut tells you those things aren't being explained well enough by the words you already have to describe yourself, avpd is definitely worth considering.

I don't feel like I'm inferior academically/intelligence wise, hell I'm kind of arrogant in that respect, but also feel like I'm not good enough/interesting enough/pretty enough/funny enough for someone to want to be around me and have struggled with suicidal ideation because of it. I sometimes (by that I mean almost weekly) have meltdowns where I end up just wallowing in my own self-hatred for hours and ignoring people's texts/my homework bc I feel like i'm not good enough to have friends/long term partners.

hey, you're talking to the guy who's not just avoidant but also a narcissist. avpd can absolutely coexist with being highly confident (or even overconfident) in certain parts of yourself.

it also sounds like that confidence is an exception to the rule. feeling like you're "not X enough" for other people to the point of having self-isolation spirals or suicidal ideation because of it are really common forms of low self-esteem in avpd. if you ever here an avoidant refer to having an "avpd spiral" or "shame spiral", the experience they're talking about is a lot like what you described.

I'm also not particularly quiet when I *am* in social situations. I tend to blurt out whatever's on my mind, even though I immediately regret it 99.9999% of the time, and my ADHD impulsivity results in me interrupting people a lot even tho it makes me feel like a horrible person. I always feel like I've overshared to everyone

the stereotype of avpd is a super shy and quiet person, and some of us definitely are like that (myself included), but not all avoidants are. there are some who mask their avoidance by coming off as incredibly social and talking to people a lot, and others who (like you described) talk a lot even if they don't want to because of other aspects of their neurotype.

i think those feelings of regret and shame that you feel in response to what you're saying are really the important thing here. those internal experiences are much more fundamental to what avpd is than how they present externally, so the fact that you're experiencing them means i definitely wouldn't count avpd out just because you're not as quiet as some of us are.

I don't have any childhood trauma that could have caused it, at least I don't think? Like. My parents are amazing, they've always been there for me emotionally and physically. I was kind of bullied in pre-school through elementary school and never really had friends in middle school, just these three girls who let me hang out with them when I was around but would ignore my texts a lot, not invite me places they were going, etc

first of all, a history of trauma isn't actually required to have avpd. it's often assumed that personality disorders are also trauma disorders because they are often associated with trauma, but there's nothing suggesting that's always the case.

there's also research that has shown some people are born predisposed to avpd. it tends to cluster in families along with social anxiety, suggesting there's some sort of heritable aspect, and some research suggests avpd might start in childhood with a person having a nervous system that's naturally hypersensitive to certain triggers.

it's also important to remember that the kinds of trauma that can lead to something like avpd aren't always things we would look at as obvious trauma. for example, one paper i found said that a possible form of trauma that could lead to avpd is having an overprotective parent – the parent projects their fears onto the child and, despite just trying to keep them safe out of genuine love and care, ends up teaching their child that the world is dangerous. we might not look at that kind of parenting and automatically see it as traumatizing, and it's hard to fault that parent for trying to keep their child safe, bu the result for the child is the same. especially if we are born with more sensitive nervous systems than the average person, things that seem totally mundane could have a significant impact on how our brains develop.

all of that to say, it is possible that the experiences you described –being bullied in school and excluded by your friends – had enough of an impact to cause the struggles you're experiencing now, even if they don't feel like trauma. it's also possible that they're unrelated, because avpd (if that is what you're experiencing) can develop even in the absence of trauma.

I feel like it really fits but also like if it were actually a big enough problem to qualify as a personality disorder my therapist would have caught it by now?

you'd be surprised what therapists don't catch, especially if there's a much more common and less "scary" label (like social anxiety) that can, on the surface, explain away what you're experiencing. i've been seeing my therapist for 8 or 9 years now and she's very aware of my avoidant tendencies, including how much they get in the way of my life, but she still never brought up avpd with me. whether it’s because they just don’t hear about avpd enough to think of it, because they avoid diagnosing personality in general, because they don’t know “do with” avpd and would rather assume it’s something they do know how to handle, or because they think avpd is just another word for severe social anxiety, a lot of therapists will see all the signs of avpd in a patient but never actually bring up avpd as a possibility.

at the end of the day, you know better than anyone how much of a problem these struggles are for you. if you think this really could be the explanation, don't worry about what she did or didn't catch. therapists aren't infallible; they're human, and they can miss things.

I'm scared to bring it up bc if she thinks i'm wrong i'll probably never want to talk to her again bc i'd be so embarrassed

i 100% get that fear. i actually had that happen to me with my therapist – i brought up a few theories of mine to her, she shot them all down, and i ended up stopping our sessions and eventually going to a different therapist for a while because i felt like i couldn't trust her anymore. ultimately, i went back to her (mostly because the second therapist was an incredibly condescending asshole and my parents didn’t know of any other options), but i honestly still haven't brought avpd up to her to this day because of that.

so i can't blame you at all, and it's okay if you feel like you need to work up to bringing this up with her. try doing some more research and getting more confident in your theory so you feel like you can explain it well to her, and maybe even put together a collection of the evidence you have for it – examples of how you feel like you exhibit the symptoms, things like that – so you have something to hand to her instead of having to explain it on the spot. once you've looked into it more on your own, you can reevaluate how confident you feel in the theory and decide if it's time to talk to her.

in the meantime, you could try testing the waters to see how she might respond to you bringing up a theory. there are some therapists who are super against patients doing their own research and having their own ideas about what's going on, so it’s good to know if your therapist is one of those people ahead of time instead of finding out the hard way.

i would also recommend telling her that exact fear if/when you do bring this up to her. that sentiment of "one somewhat negative interaction is all it takes for my embarrassment to be so bad that i can never talk to you again" is a really common thing with avpd, and is one of the reasons a lot of avoidants struggle with therapy. so being honest about that fear can both help her understand that she needs to be cautious in her approach if she does disagree with you and could actually make her more likely to agree.

I guess I just want to ask if you think it's even possible I could have it.

so yeah, like i said at the beginning of this, i think it's very possible that you could have avpd. i can't tell you for sure, but pretty much everything you've described here sounds very familiar to me as an avoidant person, so at the very least i think it's definitely worth looking into further and seeing if it continues to feel accurate as you learn more.

i hope this helps! and whether you end up concluding that you're avoidant or that there's something else going on, i hope you're able to find the understanding and support that you need.