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paunchsalazar · 5 years

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hey!! bro ur my number #1 source for lupin III content so can I ask like how in the hell I go about watching all the series / movies / etc for it in order??? I’m really pumped for the live action so I wanna at least dip into all the other stuff. thanking ya kindly //tips hat

hello!!! what an honor!! oh my… ok I’m so sorry in advance… I’ve gotten a few similar asks and I started writing out a list and it was getting over 1500 words long so I had to try to chill out…so…

LUPIN III CRASH COURSE

I’m sorry that this is so long.. and consider I cut it down! but here is my intro because I know this franchise is huge and confusing!! (I’ve had multiple instances of friends being like ‘I tried to find that Lupin thing you like but I could only find the third one?’)

I kind of liken it to Scooby Doo? it stretches some 60 years and has been handled by many different writers, directors, and animators across very different eras? most important to know! the order doesn’t really matter and things aren’t really sequential (save for where the three most recent shows) so you can jump in and explore whatever seems compelling! it’s overwhelming because there is so much but also nice because there’s something for everybody! if you like fun and pure, edgy, etc. etc.

feel free to disregard everything coming… I will say my personal priority order is

- Castle of Cagliostro

- some episode of part 2

- part IV, ideally all of it! there’s filler but it’s hard to know which ones

- part I (or some episodes of it? up to you!)

- Fuma Conspiracy

- part V

- part III (it’s great too!! just not as sequential as IV and V)

- First Contact… truly indulgent but its so cute!

(below I broke down a little about each and my favorite episodes, where to find them, etc. and there’s so much more but just doing everything below is a whole lot)

TV (All the shows except for The Woman Called Fujiko Mine are on Crunchyroll!)

Part 1 (1971) - crunchyroll!

The beginnings kind of a weird feeling because the first half was directed with one vision vs. the second half being co-directed by Takahata and Miyazaki, there’s a shift in Lupin’s personality and most significantly they sought to shed his ‘sense of apathy’ and make him more of a hero? something that’s echoed later on! honestly, I don’t think the transition is as dramatic as some people find it? but it does shift across the episodes and end on a sweet note!

truly they all have something to enjoy but I made note of

episodes 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 18, 19, 23

for some reason? really really suggest watching the last episode! but get a bit of the first and second half beforehand!

Part II/Red Jacket (1977-80) - 155 episodes - on crunchyroll dubbed and subbed

there are a lot so I tried to narrow it down to a few of my favorites/ particularly noteworthy ones? I bolded my absolute favorites! I’m sure I missed a few but save for a few two-episode arcs you can jump in anywhere and it’ll be fine.

episodes 1-79 are dubbed on Crunchyroll! In my personal opinion the script makes it worth it!! there are a bunch of non-dubbed episodes anyway if you want to get a feel for both

(these episode titles are often hilarious, misleading, and/or horribly embarrassing?)

1 - ‘The Return of Lupin the Third’ - just a good starting point!

5 - ‘Will the Leaning Tower of Pisa Be Standing?’

6 - ‘Tutankhamen’s 3,000-Year-Old Curse’

7 - ‘Venetian Super Express’ - I want to say this is a cute little road trip episode? it’s been so long

9 - ‘Steal the FIle M123’ - this dub… madness. very strange Christopher Walken impression for absolutely no reason?

10 - ‘Bet on the Monaco Grand Prix’

15 - ‘Crude Reproduction, Perfect Frame’ - Lupin keeps committing strange and uncharacteristic crimes, but he has no memory of doing so!

29 - ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ - Lupin has some mysterious Levitation Technique and everyone is after it

32 - ‘Lupin the Interred’ A famed hitman is after Lupin!

34 - ‘But Your Brother Was Such A Nice Guy’ - this episode is one of the zaniest ones and that’s saying a lot… Vampires? Jesus? Really really funny moments though especially in the dub

42 - ‘Cruisin’ in Drag’ Lupin infiltrates the ship of a wealthy bachelor disguised as a woman

45 - ‘Diamonds and Minx’ kind of a mess of people stealing from each other?

46 - ‘The Island of Dr. Derange’

57 - ‘Alter-Ego Maniac’ - Inspector Zenigata goes criminal

62 - ‘Church of the Poison Mind’ - Jigen and Goemon stumble into a religious cult

69 - ‘Zenigata Getcha Into My Life’ - this title is awful but this episode is great.

78 - ‘Ice, Robot’ - an inventor has made a machine that can cry diamonds!

79 - ‘Baton Death March’

81 - ‘Fujiko, Men are a Sorry Lot!” - Fujiko gets engaged to a Prince, the rest of the gang goes after the monarchy’s Golden Bell

96 - ‘Lupin’s Gourmet World’ tbh this is a vore episode but there are some great gang moments here and a really fun third act

99 - ‘Fighting Jigen’ - first anime episode (I think like in history? but I could’ve misread) in stereo! And I believe the first to air of the TMS staff’s work, you can tell because the style shifts to a more Miyazaki/Cagliostro look and this will keep happening for the rest of the show

101 - ‘Fervent Love at Versailles’ - a crossover episode with Rose of Versailles!

103 - ‘The Wolf Looked at an Angel’ - Goemon is an angel I can say little else

104 - ‘The Most Dangerous Golden Bed’ - debut of perhaps the best opening! I love this episode?? so much?

112 - ‘Danger! Goemon’

122 - ‘An Unusual End to an Expedition for Napoleon’s Treasure’

143 - ‘The Miami Bank’

145 - ‘Wings of Death: Albatross’ - ah yes, one of the famed Miyazaki-directed episode, truly so worth it

151 - ‘To Arrest Lupin, the Mission at the Highway’ - another not exactly Miyazaki episode but a lot of the people he trained? They depart from the part 2 style(s) again but its a good bit of fun all around! Really lovely character animation

152 - ‘Jigen and the Hatless Pistol’ - Jigen loses his hat and thus his ability to shoot

155 - ‘Thieves Love the Peace/Farewell, Dear Lupin’ - the finale episode! Miyazaki-directed as well, and just beautiful

Part III (1984) - 50 episodes - crunchyroll!

I’m still very early in this one so I can’t say much yet! But it gets a bad rep? Perhaps for being more inconsistent stylistically and a bit on the zanier end! But I really like it!! these drawings are such a blast! I think each bit has its merits and this one is no exception. Plus with all their freedom animation-wise they can do a lot of fun stuff!

The Woman Called Fujiko Mine (2012) - 13 episodes - on kissanime for certain and I think animetake?

this is the most dramatic departure from the rest of the shows/films/specials. Fujiko Mine is the star of this part! It definitely has less obviously plot-important episodes but it’s one narrative from start to finish. I must note that it’s by far Lupin’s edgiest, I think it’d be safe to deem this part as R-Rated. There’s sex, violence, sexual violence, abuse, bodily mutilation, obsession… a gay character who gets a pretty tragic fate (at first I was excited by the very existence of an LGBT+ character but he really goes through the wringer and never gets a resolution.. I don’t want to spoil). This is probably Lupin at his ickiest? I do like Jigen’s personality here! And his dynamic with Fujiko, but it’s a lot more disjointed than the other parts. She meets each of them separately and towards the end, Lupin and Jigen interact more but there’s barely a time when they’re all together. That’s not meant to be a deterrent but personally, I’m a sucker for their friendship and love them as a group so it’s a bit of a bummer. Sequential plot-wise though! This one is definitely captivating, a bit disturbing, and there is a plot-twist that really got me. The villain design is really cool too!

Part IV (2015) - 26 episodes - on crunchyroll, also dubbed on Funimation

This part is narrative-based and sequential! It still has some more standalone episodes but there’s definitely an overarching story throughout! I think they’re all worth watching and might leave little important bits that’ll be confusing later on. Essentially this part takes place in Italy for the most part and starts with Lupin getting married to a multi-millionaire heiress/model/celebrity who wants to get into the thief business. This one feels like a good combination of old and new, it’s not quite as silly as the earlier parts can be, but it’s full of nostalgia while still feeling original. I really had a good time!

This dub isn’t bad but!! It comes with a different opening and soundtrack, I guess Lupin’s pretty big in Italy and perhaps there were licensing issues? I’m not sure? But it’s a bit of a bummer to be without the Yuji Ohno soundtrack. The alternate opening feels more like a collection of stills and footage found throughout the show? It’s not horrible, just different! Regardless, the Part IV Japanese OP (vs. the Italian/US one) is worth a watch!

Part V (2018, airing on Adult Swim right now, summer 2019!) - 23 episodes

I’m actually not done with this part but its good fun! more directly tied to part iv then the others are to each other. It’s more sequential as well with a few sub-arcs and since it fell on the franchise’s anniversary it has callback episodes with Lupin in various jackets in various tones. Interesting Lupin characterization here… he seems… sadder, wistful? and we get hints of Lupin lore! Lots of fanservice but… I love it! I still think they could’ve pushed it more? it feels somehow more reserved than part IV in some ways, which is already different from the 70s and 80s, but it’s got a lot of lovely moments!!

Films/TV Specials

From 1989 to 2011 they had a special every year!! So much!

Castle of Cagliostro (1979) - Available on Netflix!

perhaps the best-known piece of media in the Lupin franchise? And rightly so. This film is Hayao Miyazaki’s directing debut and a blast from start to finish! This characterization of Lupin is definitely Miyazaki’s more than Monkey Punch’s but that seems to be the strange nature of the Lupin franchise! I could really go on forever… please watch it!

The Fuma Conspiracy (1987) -

perhaps harder to find, but it’s on Kissanime! Goemon is getting married but before the ceremony is over the bride is taken by the Fuma ninja clan and the gang helps him to get her back as well as learn the story of a family heirloom? Really great stuff from everybody! Adorable Zenigata, the fluffiest and most handsome Goemon, cute Jigen, Fujiko, and Lupin interactions, a really really incredible car chase! Even with Cagliostro’s fame, this one has got some serious pizzazz

Episode 0: The First Contact (2002) - on Kissanime as well!

A journalist asks Jigen how he met Lupin III, this is probably my favorite TV special? And features one of my favorite opening scenes in the whole franchise. The instrumental!! Perhaps each member of the gang at their purest, whatever that means, really great moments between everybody and peak Lupin and Jigen meeting and somehow signing up to be life partners

#oh my god #i'm so sorry #please.. feel free to ignore this #lupin #lupin the third #lupin iii #lupin the 3rd #diggitydamnsebastianstan

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ratandphilgames · 6 years

Text

Our Lives Don’t Collide

{chapter one: out of the closet}

summary: Shit hits the fan when famous actor!Phil is caught smooching a boy in an alleyway. Only problem? He’s not out and what's worse? The boy he was smooching was a journalist who set it all up to get a quick picture and now Phil is royally screwed. The only answer Phils management can come up with is a fake relationship to try and do damage control and famous actor!Dan is the perfect candidate.

word count: 2585

rating: t

note: thanks so much to @definitelynot-danielhowell for editing this fic and all the people in the writing gc who hyped me up enough to post this! I’m going to *try* updating every Thursday but bear with me as I get the hang of this. Thanks!

{read on ao3}

{next chapter}

-----

Nothing was meant to come of the night, he was just going drinking with some old uni friends and he wasn’t going to be famous actor Philip Lester for once. He was going to be fun, free, reckless Phil Lester. What he ended up being was a dumbass.

He’d been drunk. He’d been drunk and horny and lonely. It was a mistake for him to think he’d been safe, to assume he could go back to being that kid he was in uni just because all his old friends were around. He wasn’t the same kid he was in uni, now he was famous and he had little kids looking up to him and nobody knew he was gay. He couldn’t just do what he wanted anymore. The alcohol, however, made him think otherwise.

The moment Phil let his guard down, shit really hit the fan. He was drinking and when his university friends had to leave, he decided he had to stay. The night was still young, and Phil was determined to prove he was too.

He started talking to the cute guy that had been making eyes at him from across the bar. The guy didn’t mention seeing Phil in any movies and that was enough reassurance for Phil’s tipsy mind. Still, he wasn’t a complete idiot. He suggested that if anything were to continue they should move to the alleyway and a minute later that’s where they were. Making out.

Phil didn’t noticed the black SUV parked at the end of the alleyway, he was too focused on the task at hand. It wasn’t until he saw the flash of a camera that he realized he’d royally fucked up. In a split second there were several more bright-ass lights in his face, then the boy he was with fled to the car with the cameras, and it sped off.

It didn’t take a genius to realize Phil had been set up. Immediately he sobered up and processed everything that went down. The alley boy undoubtedly worked with the man driving the car and taking the pictures. He’d used Phil to get a quick buck from a scandalous picture. That shit sold for thousands.

Before another paparazzi could show up, Phil whipped out his phone and called a car to come get him. Where there was one of the clingy bastard, there would be more and Phil was not about to wait around for them to show up.

It wasn’t uncommon for journalists to go ‘undercover’ in attempts to get more information from celebrities, but it was a whole new level of low to trick Phil like that. The more he thought about it, the more red flags he saw surrounding the guy. His dumb alcohol induced brain just chose to ignore every single one of them.

By the time his car arrived, Phil was fighting back tears and trying desperately to figure out any sort of way he could salvage the situation, but nothing was coming to mind.

He needed to talk to his management team asap. They were good in these kinds of situations, they could help make everything right again.

With tears still in his eyes, he dialed his managers number into his phone and prayed to the gods that he would pick up at this hour.

Being caught with a boy attached to your lips wasn’t exactly easy to explain when you were seen as straight to the rest of the world, no matter if you never actually said you were straight.

Fuck. He really fucked this one up.

-----

Dan woke up around 8am to the sound of a bell. Waves of confusion overcame him as he tried to find the source of the sound. He slammed his fist on the snooze button, attempting to turn off his alarm clock, but found it wasn’t on at all, as it shouldn’t be. He had absolutely no reason to be awake this early.

After an embarrassingly long time, he realized the sound was coming from his phone, hidden somewhere in his duvet. By the time he found the shiny box of magic, the noise had stopped and Dan realized that he had missed a call.

He gathered his thoughts for a moment and then checked his notifications.

One missed call: Shannon the momager

He was going to be in big trouble if he ignored Shannon. She’d been his manager since he had started his career and truth be told, she was like a second mom to him, hence the momager.

With a big, excessive sigh, (he was an actor after all, he had to dramatic) he clicked the call back button and sat up in bed. It was unlikely she was going to let him fall back asleep after this, so Dan figured he might as well get a headstart on waking up.

“Hey Shan, you called?” He yawned while speaking, so it came out far more slurred than intended.

“Yes, I did, lazybutt, I’m sending a car your way. There’s a big idea in the works and I need you to be here like, now. Like yesterday, actually. Sam’s waiting on you.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Dan wasn’t going to argue with her, despite the 8am call in, mostly because Sam was involved. Sam, his ‘agent’ only got involved if there was a movie opportunity, or some sort of contract that needed to be signed, because legally, Shannon couldn’t do that crap. That never stopped her from getting involved, though.

The last ‘Sam is involved so get your ass here fast’ call Dan had gotten was because the casting director for a new and upcoming film had loved him in his previous work and requested an audition with him personally.

That audition had resulted in Dan getting a huge supporting role in “Switch Hitter” a movie about a young baseball player juggling the fact that he likes boys… and girls. Equally as much. It was the bisexual representation Dan dreamed of, and he got to be a part of it. It had yet to be released, but there was a lot of talk of award season already, and it was set to do very well.

When he first started out in the industry he faced a lot of biphobia. He’d been out since he was 14, and despite the quickly progressing world, a lot of people turned him down once they learned he identified as bisexual. It was tough, but eventually Dan ended up on Shannon’s doorstep, and she took him under her wing. She found him an agent, Sam, who worked his magic and got Dan some amazing auditions. He was only ever unapologetically himself and people loved it. He was a fast growing bicon, and quickly became a fan favorite.

As soon as the call with Shannon ended, Dan was scrambling around to find clothes and straighten his hair, something he probably wouldn’t have done on this particular day had he not gotten this wake up call. But he was going outside, which meant he needed to look perfectly presentable. There were people with cameras everywhere, meaning in even the short distance from his door to the car he would be photographed tens of times.

He was constantly aware of the scrutiny he would endure for every little thing he did when a camera was around. What he wore, how he walked, his posture, how his hair looked. Everything. It was a lot of pressure for a 22 year old mess.

By the time he was unplugging his straightener, there was a knock at the door meaning the car had arrived. He was sprinting around his room, looking for some kind of matching shoes (preferably black) and running low on time.

Dan managed to stumble to the front door of his unnecessarily large home with his phone in his hand and his shoes on his feet, which was a win in his book. Upon opening the door, he was met with the icy eyes of his bodyguard, Andreas, who seemed to dislike Dan on an impersonal level (and maybe on a personal level). The people pleaser in Dan tried to let it go, but sometimes it really stung.

“Ready?”

“Yeah… yeah.”

It was awkward, having someone walk you from your front door to a car not even 10 feet away, but there had been some incidents and having Andreas around, despite his frosty attitude, made Dan feel a bit safer.

Per usual, a few fellows were perched right behind the iron gate installed all around the property, itching to get a shot of Dan leaving his house.

Dan’s driveway was unnecessarily long, to try and discourage people (paparazzi) from driving down it so it took a solid 5 minutes before they were even on a real road. By the time they were pulling up to his agents office building, it had been a solid 30 minute drive of pure silence. Andreas wasn’t much of a talker.

By ‘here’ Dan had assumed Shannon meant her office, but the driver had taken him straight to Sam’s. Business was really going down today.

Andreas ushered Dan out of the car, thankfully few seemed to care about his existence at the moment.

After entering the building, Dan was directed into an elevator. He had a lovely bout of awkward silence as annoying little tunes played in the background. Once, when Dan had first been introduced to Andreas, he had tried making small talk in a situation similar to this He had been met with a stern glare and a ‘we aren’t friends, I work for you.’ which had been very blunt, but very true. He’d been warned by Shannon prior that he was not to make a friend out of Andreas, as that would ‘compromise his morals’ or some shit. Really, it just made him feel awful lonely most the time.

They reached Sam’s office and Dan knocked on the door rhythmically. He was always unsure if he had to knock.

“Come in!” hollered a shrill voice that was unmistakably Shannon. Andreas stepped in first, ensured the area was safe, and then exited. The little routine check always threw Dan off his rhythm, but it was essential if he was going to be left alone in a room, according to Andreas. As soon as Andreas left the room, the door was shut and he was undoubtedly standing on the other side of it, bored out of his mind.

Sam, sitting behind his big executive and fancy looking desk, motioned for Dan to sit down in the empty chair next to Shannon, who was looking at him with excited eyes. Surely only good news could come of today's meeting.

“A huge opportunity unlike any other has fallen right in our laps, Dan.” Shannon started off, clearly unable to keep her enthusiasm contained.

“Daniel-” Sam always used his elongated name when addressing him “you will be required to sign an NDA today before we will disclose any information about this business opportunity. Do you understand?”

This was not new. Non-disclosure agreements were common in this line of work, when the public is avidly trying to dig into your personal life. It’s important to make sure the information you don’t want out there, isn’t getting out. Sometimes the only way you can hold people accountable is through legal binds. He had to sign them in many instances, usually so he could read a script for a high budget film in order to audition.

“Yeah, I understand.” He answered, and before he could even blink, a piece of paper was being handed to him along with a pen.

“Your legal team looked it over this morning. Read it and then sign if you wish to continue.” Sam was being overly professional in this case and it was making Dan nervous. No matter how many of these papers he signed, he always felt like he was going to be tricked some way or another. He’s seen too many lawyer shows to be unsuspecting of loopholes thrown in. No matter how many professional lawyers looked over the piece of paper and confirmed his safety in signing, it always felt just a bit sketchy.

This document was fairly standard, and after reading through it Dan felt as though it was safe enough to sign. As soon as he had committed ink to pen and wrote out his name Shannon started talking.

“So here’s the basic rundown, there is a certain actor who is in a sticky situation, and you're the perfect person to unstickify the situation.”

Shannon was being very vague. Very unsettlingly vague.

“Just, look at this picture.” Sam said as he handed Dan his phone. Displayed on the screen was an image of 2 boys kissing. 2 very familiar looking boys.

The first being Phil Lester, academy award nominee for best actor and Dan's ‘celebrity crush’ should he be forced to give an answer.

The second boy in the photo looked very similar to Dan, in fact the only reason he knew he wasn't the one in the photo is because he was pretty fucking sure he'd remember snogging Phil motherfucking Lester, no matter how drunk he was.

After a long stare at the image, Dan remembered people were still in front of him.

“That's not me.” He said quietly, afraid they were accusing him of pulling a publicity stunt. Not that he would be upset if that were him. Phil was very handsome.

“No, we know it's not you. But the public doesn’t know that.”

Shannon was still being vague as fuck and Dan was so beyond lost.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. Is that actually Phil Lester? As in the actor? What the hell does this have to do with me?”

“So basically, he was outed by the paparazzi last night, and to minimize casualties his management team is attempting to make it look like a loving relationship, instead of a drunken hookup. Try to keep some dignity and all that. They’ve contacted us because, as the internet has pointed out, you look very similar to the boy in the photo. All you have to do is confirm it’s you and everyone will believe it.”

Sam was a lot more blunt when it came to, well, anything.

“Wait, wait, wait. You want me to pretend to be the boy in the picture? Isn’t that like, lying?”

“It’s showbiz, Dan. Lot’s of celebrities have purely ‘Hollywood’ relationships. It’ll be great positive publicity for you and it’ll help get Phil out of a hole. The man just got outed unexpectedly, his team is trying to salvage the situation. I think this will be a great step for your career.”

This was… not what Dan had been anticipating when he got the phone call at 8am.

Sam had done all the talking, and Shannon, who never shut up, was being uncharacteristically quiet.

“Shan? What do you think?” Her job was to manage him after all, Dan wanted her opinion on what he should do.

“I think this is a good idea if you think you can handle upholding a believable relationship for the length of time they demand. We can set up a meeting and discuss the details if you think you want to pursue this, otherwise we won’t waste our time. It’s all up to you, hun.”

It’s all up to him.

“Okay, then I guess we should set up a meeting. I’m not saying yes to anything yet, but I’ll hear what his team has to say.”

#dan and phil #phan #dnp #phanfiction #phandom #ima try to update #please like/ reblog if you like it!#our lives dont collide

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humansunshineao3 · 6 years

Text

Fighting the Good Fight [Ch. 10]

Alec Lightwood just wants to run his Institute in peace.

This is the story that could’ve unfolded if Jace didn’t exist.

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Magnus/Alec, Clary/Izzy

Tags: Jace doesn't exist, transgender alec lightwood, retelling of the TV show, Internalized Transphobia, Panic Attacks, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff, Lightwood Siblings Feels, Izzy and Alec are parabatai, Family Dynamics, Homophobia, top surgery, Trigger warnings in chapter notes, in depth trigger warnings

AUTHOR’S NOTE: TRIGGER WARNINGS

Invasive behaviour/pushy behaviour?: Lydia tries to get Alec to take off his shirt and binder in front of her. He says no very firmly and shuts her down.

Internalised transphobia: There's a part where world inverted!Alec talks about loving dick and strap ons. (It makes sense in context OKAY) - in this world, Alec grew up as a mundane so was a lot more indoctrinated by the idea that trans people need to do this, this and this in order to be valid. In regular show world, Alec learned about transness on the internet, so doesn't have the same kinds of hang-ups. The point is, in this one little part, Alec infers that his attraction to men hinges on whether they have a dick or like to wear strap-ons (if they're trans men). He's not attracted to women who wear strap-ons, he's just trying not to erase trans men from his sexual orientation, but he is sort of erasing trans men who don't wear packers and strap ons. God dammit, Alec.

Top surgery discussions and results: So for reasons discussed above, Alec in the world inverted had top surgery when he was around 23/24. The normal show world Alec has his top surgery consultation in this chapter, and there's discussion about methods and surgery anxiety. Nothing too graphically gory, but Alec does find it distressing. This ties into:

Depictions of disassociation: Alec zooms the fuck out of his body during his surgery consultation. I don't know that it'll make sense to people who've never disassociated, but it's the best I can depict that feeling with words. It's brief but I don't want to induce it in anyone if they didn't know it was coming.

Miscommunication with sexy times: World inverted Izzy tries to initiate sex with our Clary and Clary spends a minute freaking out about the concept of having sex with world inverted Izzy before asking Izzy to stop. Izzy does so instantly and doesn't demand an explanation.

Previous chapter

EPISODE 10: This World Inverted

“When you get to the other dimension, you will inhabit the body of your counterpart from there. Do not allow yourself to get distracted by the people who care for you in that dimension; if you forget your mission, you’ll also forget your life here, and this dimension’s Clary will cease to exist. You must stay focussed. The only thing that will remind you of this dimension is that portal shard. Once you use it, you must use the portal immediately or risk forgetting everything.” Meliorn instructed, leading her through a forest in the Seelie realm.

Clary nodded, fingering the pendant around her neck as they stepped over loose roots. Meliorn offered her no words of assurance, only facts, and it made Clary uneasy. She couldn’t imagine what his relationship with Izzy must have been like, but then, perhaps he simply didn’t like her, and that was why he was being so unfriendly. Valentine was her father, after all, and she’d basically stolen his lover right out from under him. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a reason.

She almost walked into him as he stopped, suddenly, in the middle of a small clearing. Meliorn looked around slowly, putting his hands palm to palm before twisting them together and then out, magic bursting from his hands and swirling into a vortex to create a huge portal in the middle of the clearing. They stood there for a moment, both staring at the entrance to the portal.

“Well?” Meliorn prompted her, “what in Raziel’s name are you waiting for?”

“Right, right…” Clary nodded, clenching her fists at her sides as she looked into the portal. “Thank you, Meliorn.”

“Your 24 hours have already begun, shadowhunter.” He replied, taking a seat on the grass next to the portal.

Clary nodded, checking her watch, and dashed through the portal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Alec stepped out of Magnus’ portal and into his room, he let out a long sigh, unbuttoning his shirt slowly.

“Is that why you’re not interested in becoming friendly?”

Alec spun around to see Lydia sitting on his bed, her stone cold gaze fixed on where the portal was shrinking away to nothing. “What are you doing in here?!” He demanded, hurriedly buttoning up his shirt.

“I came to see if you were alright. You did say you were injured.” Lydia reminded him. “Now you have some explaining to do. Why are you… Socialising… With a warlock?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” Alec replied stiffly, folding his arms.

“I am your fiancee!”

Alec scoffed. “I’m not going to have an affair when we’re married, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“But you’re having an affair now?” Lydia demanded, leaping to her feet.

“Does it look like I just got back from a romantic romp with a lover?” Alec snapped. He was so tired, his ribs were screaming at him, Robert’s words playing over and over in his head. All he wanted was to curl up in bed.

Lydia bristled at that, looking him up and down. “Then what were you doing with him?”

“Talking!” Alec answered, “that’s it! Okay? Now could you please leave so I can get some sleep? I’m exhausted.”

There was silence in the room for a moment, Lydia staring right at him, but Alec kept his gaze fixed on the wall behind her. She looked at him for a long, long moment, her hands knotted together behind her back in the at-ease position that Alec found himself standing in all too often.

“You know, you could talk to me about whatever it is you’re going to Magnus with. I want to help you. I want to be here for you, Alec, I want a relationship. I don’t want to marry a stranger.” She said, her voice almost soft.

Alec tried to sigh, but a hiss came out instead. “I can’t do this right now, I need to change out of my binder.”

“Let me help,” Lydia stepped forward, her hand curling around the hem of his shirt.

“What? No.”

“Alec…” Lydia stubbornly gripped the shirt tighter. “It’s okay.”

Alec raised his eyebrows. “No, it isn’t. I don’t want you to touch me.”

“Why not?” Lydia demanded, her cheeks flaming pink.

“Because I’m gay!” Alec shouted.

Lydia pressed her lips together, and let go of Alec’s shirt. She took a step back, straightening her blouse. “I need you to be relaxed.”

“Well, good job making me more tense than I already was, fuck! Just go away!”

“Isabelle’s going to be arrested in a moment, Alec. I wanted you to hear it from me.” Lydia told him, lifting her chin. “Raj has a mark from her whip on his wrist. We know she was involved in Meliorn’s escape. Don’t-” Lydia held up her pointer finger as Alec opened his mouth to speak, “say anything. I’m trying to protect you from this investigation, because I want to believe that you wouldn’t betray the Clave.”

Alec’s mouth opened and closed a few times, his ears buzzing. “What are the charges?” He asked, his own voice sounding far away.

“Treason.”

Alec made a choked noise of despair, and started running his hands through his hair. “That means a deruning.”

“I’m sorry, Alec, but the charges are just.” Lydia replied.

“Are they?” Alec snarled, his blazing green eyes locking with hers. “Is it just that my sister is being punished for falling for a downworlder and trying to rescue him from a racist, unfair, ridiculous punishment that would have almost certainly resulted in his death? Tell me, Lydia, where is the fucking justice in that?”

Lydia straightened her spine, meeting his eyes with equal ferocity. “The law is hard. But it’s the-”

“GET OUT!” Alec shouted, right in her face. “Get out of my room, get out of my fucking life, you racist, queerphobic, manipulative piece of shit. Get out! NOW!”

Lydia looked shocked, standing there with Alec towering over her like he was. Her eyes flicked down to his panting mouth, and he clenched his teeth against the urge to punch her. “Alec…”

“Either walk out yourself,” Alec stepped back, flexing his fists as he took some deep, calming breaths, “or I will pick you up and toss you out.”

She opened her mouth like she was going to say more, but wisely thought better of it, and stalked past Alec and out the door. The moment the door clicked shut, Alec flew into action, snatching up anything he could get his hands on and hurling it against the wall or floor. When there was nothing left to throw, he stood in the middle of the room, sweating and heaving for breath, and started tearing at his shirt, ripping his binder over his head and hurling that at the floor at his feet.

“FUCK!”

After grabbing a sports bra and a shirt to put on, Alec scrubbed his hands down his face and legged it out the door, catching up to Lydia right outside Izzy’s room, where Raj and a shadowhunter that Alec didn’t recognise were already standing. Ignoring the three of them, Alec pushed past and knocked on Izzy’s door.

“Come in!” She called, and Alec shoved through and shut the door behind him, pressing his back against it. “Alec, are you-?”

“They’re arresting you for treason. Climb out the window.” He told her, straining to keep the door shut against Lydia and the others. “Go!”

Izzy’s eyes went wide, but she made no move to escape. Instead, she walked up to him, and gently tugged on his arm. “Let them come, Alec.”

“They’ll derune you!”

“I know I did the right thing. The just thing.” She said quietly. “Let them come, please.”

Alec shook his head. “I won’t let them take you away. I won’t.”

“Alec,” Izzy smiled, resting her hand on his shoulder. “You can’t protect me from everything, big brother.”

Lydia’s shadowhunter goon managed to dislodge Alec then, and he went stumbling across the room, allowing Lydia and the others to enter the room. Izzy stood up straight and defiant, her eyes fixed on Lydia. Alec recovered his balance and shoved Izzy behind his back, positioning himself between his sister and the people who’d take her away from him.

“It’s okay, big brother.” Izzy insisted, stepping out from behind him. She put her hands on her hips, and shrugged one shoulder. “Arrest me. I don’t care. I’m so beyond done with the Clave, at this point. Do what you like.”

“Izzy,” Alec warned her, “you can’t come back from a deruning.”

Isabelle lifted her chin. “I did what was right. I would die to do the right thing if necessary.”

“Those are some very grandiose ideals you hold there, Miss Lightwood,” Lydia responded, “it’s a shame you’re on the wrong side. Blackthorn, take her.”

“I wish you and the other Clave officials would admit you want Valentine to gain power.” Izzy spat, “all I’ve done, I’ve done to fight against him and his ideology. If the Clave has such an issue with my actions… Makes you think, doesn’t it?”

Alec wrung his hands together behind them, wanting so badly to just throw Izzy over his shoulder and run. She had no idea what she was playing with; Alec had read enough reports of people suffering through the Clave’s punishments to know that Izzy was severely underestimating the consequences of her words.

“Take her away, Blackthorn.” Lydia ordered, not bothering to hide the disgust in her face as Izzy was dragged down towards the elevators. Alec grabbed her arm as she turned to leave, pure hatred blazing in his eyes.

“Just so you know, offically, the engagement’s off.” He informed her coldly, before letting her go and stalking out the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Clary felt solid ground beneath her feet again, she realised she was standing in a sunny kitchen. With a quick glance around, she realised that she didn’t recognise it, and her hand flew to her sternum to check that the portal shard had made it through with her. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as her fingers came into contact with the cool stone.

“Morning, sweet pea. Busy day ahead?”

Clary swirled around at the sound of the man’s voice, and her eyes widened when she saw Valentine walking towards her, snatching up a kitchen knife and brandishing it at him. “Where’s my mother?!” She demanded, mind racing.

For a moment, Valentine looked utterly confused, but then his face morphed into a warm smile. “Oh, are you practising for cosplay? That’s cute, sweetie. You’re gonna knock their socks off.” He started setting up the plates on the table, wiping his palms on his trousers. “You should show your mom.”

“Mom?” Clary repeated, her breath catching in her throat as Jocelyn came through the door holding a basket of laundry. “Mom!” She ran towards her, the kitchen knife clattering to the table, and enveloped Jocelyn in a tight hug.

“Whoa!” Jocelyn laughed, raising her eyebrows as she made eye contact with her husband. “You’ve only been gone a couple of days, honey, are you really that homesick? Are you sure the dorms are working out?”

Dorms?

Clary squeezed her eyes shut, his mind racing. When she opened them again, she remembered Meliorn’s words. The shadowhunters no longer existed in this dimension, which meant that neither Valentine nor her mother had ever been shadowhunters. They were just happy, normal people. She smiled at her Mom, shrugging a little.

“Right. Sorry. Just… I’m happy to see you.”

Jocelyn squeezed her hand. “We’re always here if you need us, honey.”

Clary swallowed hard, her eyes darting to Valentine every few moments. It was bizarre to see; this man that had the entire shadow world running scared, was in a kitchen in Brooklyn making french toast. She sat down at the table next to her Mom, and took a moment to centre herself back in her own dimension. Here, she didn’t have Luke as a father, and though this Valentine seemed nice enough, she wouldn’t trade Luke for anything. And in her dimension, she had Izzy waiting for her. She had to stay focussed.

“Izzy called, by the way. She and Alec are going over some last minute details at Simon’s, if you wanna go and see your girlfriend.” Valentine wiggled his eyebrows cheekily at her.

“Val, come on, they’ve been dating for months, when are you going to get bored of teasing her?” Jocelyn groaned.

“I’m just happy for them! Izzy is so smart and so sweet, she’s the best assistant I’ve ever had! And I’m thrilled that Clary has such a lovely partner. Gives me the warm and fuzzies.” Valentine beamed, squeezing Clary’s hand. “You know, if you guys ever broke up, I don’t know which one of you I’d side with.”

Jocelyn playfully smacked him in the arm.

“What? I love Izzy!”

Clary had spent this entire exchange reeling. She not only knew Izzy in this dimension, she was dating her? It forced her to wonder if fate was real, after all. “Thanks, I’ll go and meet up with them after breakfast.” She wondered if Alec and Magnus were together in this dimension, too.

“Oh my God, Clary, you have to check out this commercial, it’s so cheesy, you’ll love it.” Valentine turned the volume up on the TV, and pointed to it.

On the screen was Hodge, the weapons master from the institute, and Clary’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do until Magnus Bane helped me to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.”

Magnus was a… life coach?

“Hi, I’m Magnus Bane, and-” Clary choked on her orange juice.

Magnus looked like a banker. He wore square glasses and a well-cut, plain suit. He didn’t have a hint of make-up on, and his hair was limp against his forehead. Clary couldn’t believe her eyes. In this dimension, Magnus was a psychic?

Clary pushed away from the table, and shook her head. “Actually, you know, I’m not really hungry. I’m gonna go find Izzy.”

Ignoring the way Jocelyn and Valentine were calling after her, Clary rushed out of the house, pulling the phone in her pocket out to check Google maps. She already had a message from Izzy, and she took a deep breath before opening it.

-We moved to the vegan pizza van in the park. It’s at Cherry Hill, come find us xx

That vegan pizza van also existed in her dimensional, so Clary made her way there with little trouble, keeping her mind focussed on Luke and Simon, the werewolf and the vampire who were waiting for her back home. As she neared the van, she noticed Alec first; he was dressed in a salmon pink polo shirt and he was sitting with his arm slung around Simon’s shoulder, talking to him with a fond expression on his face. Izzy was sitting opposite them, with her back to Clary. She had her hair done up in a ponytail, and she was wearing a red t-shirt. Clary tapped her on the back as she approached, since Simon and Alec were caught up in their conversation about suggestive emojis and hadn’t noticed her.

“You made i! You have to try this pizza, babe, it’s amazing.” Izzy beamed, pulling Clary down onto the bench next to her.

“I’m just saying that personally I’m more aroused by the peach emoji,” Simon insisted, giving Clary a nod in greeting as she took a bite of the pizza Izzy had shoved under her nose.

“That’s because you don’t like dicks or strap ons. If you were more phallically inclined, I swear to you that you’d literally salivate at the sight of the eggplant emoji. I would know.” Alec argued.

“Alec, please, stop talking about how much you love phalluses over lunch. We’re supposed to be talking about the party.” Izzy whined, putting her head in her hands.

“This is a scientific conversation!” Alec smirked, giving Clary a wink. “How’s your Dad? Stressed? Chilled? We’ve got everything sorted for tonight. It’s all gonna go off without a hitch, I guarantee it.”

“Uhhhh yeah, he seems fine.” Clary shrugged. “He actually seems really excited.”

“As he should be. Parties thrown by yours truly are infamous for a reason.” Alec pointed out, picking up his iced coffee to take a sip. “Oh shit, I almost forgot! I haven’t shown you my nipple piercings, have I?”

Simon snorted. “He’s been flashing people all day.”

“I paid a lot of money for this chest, excuse me for being proud of it,” Alec sniffed, lifting up his shirt to reveal his flat chest. He had twin pink scars where Clary assumed his breasts had once sat, though they looked like they’d been there for a few years, at least. His nipples were slightly oval shaped, and they both had glinting silver bars through them. “Aren’t they cute?!”

“I still think it’s a bad idea to get scar tissue pierced.” Izzy pursed her lips, “what if you get an infection?”

“I’m like, obsessively cleaning them, Iz, it’ll be fine. You remember how good I was at looking after my scars.”

Izzy hummed, shrugging a little as she nodded. “You’re right.”

“So you decided to get top surgery, huh?” Clary mused without thinking, and all three of them gave her a strange look.

“Uh… Yeah, like… Two and a half years ago?” Simon answered, “remember, we all went with him down to Florida to look after him. He was a total diva.”

Alec grunted, and kicked Simon playfully. “Yeah, Clary, are you feeling alright? You look freaked.”

Clary waved their concern off, biting off a huge chunk of the vegan pizza so she wouldn’t have to answer them verbally. Alec and Simon shrugged and went right back to discussing the fact that Simon would probably sleep with a dude if said dude was very hot, but Izzy’s attention remained on Clary, her dark gaze assessing.

“Help me carry the coffees?” Izzy asked, though she didn’t give her girlfriend a chance to respond, tugging her towards the catering van. “Seriously, are you alright? Are you freaking out because of… You know… The thing?”

“Yes?” Clary answered hesitantly, her breath catching in her throat as Izzy’s face fell. “No, I mean no!”

Izzy squinted at her. “Well, which is it?”

“That… Depends. Are you freaked out about it?”

“Uh, no… I’m the one who said it.”

“Right,” Clary nodded, putting her hands on Izzy’s hips. “Remind me how it went again…”

Izzy’s expression softened, and she put her arms around Clary’s neck. “I love you, Clary Fray.”

Part of Clary was a little unsettled, mostly because she and Izzy had shared precisely two kisses and she’d never been in love before. How was she supposed to know if it was real? The bigger part, however, the artistic soul that had grown up on imagination inhabited with fairytales and happy endings, was breathless with joy, and she pressed her forehead into Izzy’s.

“I love you too, Iz.”

“Really?” Izzy grinned, an endearing little squeak in her voice.

Clary laughed, and hugged her tightly. “Yes. Really.”

“Say it again,” Izzy demanded into her hair.

“I love you.”

Izzy hummed, pulling back just enough to kiss her, cupping her face like it was made of porcelain. Clary sighed and clutched at Izzy’s elbows, her mind drifting away. She thought of nothing but the party that night, the assignment she had to write in the next few days, whether Simon was ever going to just come out as pansexual already. When she and Izzy’s mouths parted, she let out a happy sigh, their cheeks resting together.

The loud ringing of a bike bell from a passing cyclist snapped Clary out of her momentary lapse, and she pulled away from Izzy quickly. “I have to go,” she said quickly, not waiting for Izzy to respond before hurrying away.

Izzy must have been shocked, because she didn’t call after her, and Alec and Simon must have been too involved in their conversation to notice she’d gone. Pulling out her phone, Clary googled Magnus Bane’s office location and started jogging towards the subway before she could get distracted again. Luckily, Magnus lived in the same place in this dimension as he did in hers, so it didn’t take her long to find her way to the loft apartment in Brooklyn.

When Magnus opened the door to her, Clary was once again struck by how different this Magnus was to the one she’d gotten to know in the last couple of weeks. He still had the same quick wit and sass, as shown by the unamused little eyebrow quirk he gave her as she explained that she didn’t have an appointment, but he was dressed like an accountant, and carried himself without any of his usual flair. By some miracle, Magnus had an open slot for a tarot card reading, and he showed her inside. The loft was practically unrecognisable; instead of sleek dark furniture, everything looked vaguely moth-eaten and… Beige.

“Let me tell you the mysteries of the future, Miss Fray,” Magnus said, his eyes wide with intrigue.

“Actually, Magnus, I’m here because I know you’re a warlock. I’m…” Clary pressed her lips together for a moment, before deciding to just come out with it. “I’m from another dimension and I need your help to find an interdimensional portal to get back to my world.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her. “It’s not April Fools’ Day. Did Ragnor put you up to this?”

“No, Magnus, look…” Clary grabbed a journal and pen from next to him and scribbled a few runes. “Look, I’m a shadowhunter. No-one would know these runes except a shadowhunter, and they haven’t been around for decades.”

“Centuries, actually.” Magnus corrected her, steepling his fingers. “Even if I did believe you, there’s nothing I can do, I’m afraid. My magic has been dormant for years.”

Clary frowned. “You don’t use magic anymore?”

“Well, what use do I have for it?” Magnus snorted, getting up from the table. “Mundane technology makes it basically moot.”

“Magnus, if I don’t get back to my dimension, millions of people are going to die. There’s an evil man, he wants to wipe out the downworlders. I need to use that portal to stop him.” Clary explained, following Magnus as he walked around the room picking up after himself.

“As I said, my magic isn’t working. I’d love to help you, my dear, but I’m afraid I’m useless to you.”

Clary huffed. “Come on, Magnus, you’re the most powerful warlock I know. It’s all in there somewhere. Just give it a shot, try and… Try and move that teacup.” She encouraged, pointing at a half-empty teacup.

Magnus sighed, and held out his hand. The effort he was putting in was obvious; his eye was twitching a little and his fingers trembled. A couple of blue flashes sparked at his fingertips, but the cup didn’t move. After a couple of seconds of strain, he stopped, dropping his hand back to his side. “See?”

“Well, usually… Usually, you do more of a…” Clary waved her hands, wiggling her fingers like she’d seen Magnus do before. “More of a flourish, you know.”

“I do not look like that,” Magnus sniffed, “not in any universe.”

Clary put her hands on her hips. “Just try.”

After a long-suffering look, Magnus waved his arms around a little more, but the teacup stayed stubbornly still. The two of them groaned, and Magnus pushed his hair back from his eyes.

“What I need is a spark, a burst of energy, to get my magic pumping again. I need to touch some kind of magical artefact.”

“Like a portal shard?” Clary asked.

Magnus nodded, pointing at her thoughtfully. “Yes, exactly like that. Is…?” He tilted his head to the side as Clary tugged the necklace from her clavicle and held it up to him. “Is that a portal shard?”

“An interdimensional portal shard,” Clary told him, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Excellent. May I?” He checked, reached forward once Clary had nodded. The moment his fingers brushed the surface of the portal shard, Magnus jolted, brief glimpses of magic sparking across his skin. “That’ll do it!”

Clary grinned. “So where’s the portal?”

Holding up a hand for her to wait, Magnus closed his eyes for a moment, his fingers still touching the shard. “Hmmm… That’s not going to be easy.”

“Why?” Clary demanded, “where is it?”

Magnus let the portal shard drop back to Clary’s chest. “The basement of the New York institute.”

“Oh, piece of cake,” Clary snorted, waving away his concern. “There’s a party there tonight. I’ll get you on the guest list, and you can reopen the portal and send me home.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Clary promised. “Oh, also… Are you seeing anyone?”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at her. “I have six cats and I’m a 400 year old psychic. What do you think?”

Clary smiled, folding her arms. “Then dress nice, because I have someone I’d like to introduce you to tonight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I figured out what you’re doing, Lydia.” Alec insisted, storming into the ops centre. “You’re holding Izzy hostage because you think Clary Fray has the cup.”

Lydia didn’t look at him, her eyes trained sternly on the screen in front of her. The shadowhunters working near where they were standing scattered; they’d been here longer than Lydia, and knew better than to come between the Lightwood siblings. For a moment, Alec just stared at the side of Lydia’s face, shoulders heaving, ready for a fight. Lydia realised that he wasn’t going away until she responded, so she sighed and turned to face him.

“The Clave wants the cup above all else. If Isabelle has a hand in returning the cup to the Clave, then her crimes will be forgiven.” She answered, “I was going to put this to her in the morning once she’d had the chance to calm down.”

Alec put his hands on his hips. “You want the cup? Fine. I know where it is.” He told her, a wave of satisfaction passing down his spine at the way Lydia’s mouth popped open, shock in the wideness of her eyes.

“You have been hiding the cup this whole time?! I should have you arrested.”

“Do you want the cup or not, Lydia?” Alec asked coolly, lifting his chin.

Lydia’s eyes narrowed. “Hand it over, Mr Lightwood.”

“Not until you guarantee the safety of me, Izzy and Clary.”

“I guarantee the safety of you and your little band of traitors,” Lydia snarled, without a moment of hesitation. “Now give me the cup!”

Alec turned on his heel, fishing his stele out of his pocket as he walked over to the cabinet hidden in the floor. With a flick of his stele, he opened it, standing to cross his arms as it lifted out of the ground. The smugness he felt was almost overwhelming as he watched Lydia’s face bloom into… Confusion? He glanced down into the cabinet, his breath dying in his throat as he realised that the tarot card hiding the cup was gone, along with Clary’s portal shard necklace.

She’d taken it with her to the other dimension.

“Well?” Lydia pressed, “where is it?!”

Alec’s mouth opened and shut a few times, his brain struggling to reconcile the fact that Izzy and Clary had lied to him about this, or at least concealed the truth. “I-I… I think Clary took it.”

“And where is she?” Lydia gritted out.

Alec didn’t answer her, making a beeline for Izzy’s room. His little sister had some explaining to do. Lydia watched him go for a moment, irritable at the sight of him, before turning to a shadowhunter who was there to hand her a report.

Upon seeing Izzy sitting alone in her glass cell, Alec paused. The last thing she needed right now was for Alec to go off ranting and raving at her, but… She lifted her head to flick her hair out of her face and spotted him hovering across the room, standing up. The hope in her face made guilt twist hotly in Alec’s stomach, and he walked quickly to the door. Redglass was on guard duty, and Alec didn’t have to argue why he should be let in, the young recruit just unlocked the door and allowed him entry.

Izzy hugged him the moment the door swung shut behind Alec, burying her face in his shoulder. “Any news?”

“Yeah, Iz. Lydia was going to offer you a plea bargain; your freedom for the cup. So imagine my surprise when I figured out it was gone.” Alec pulled back to look her in the eye. “Please tell me you gave it to Magnus to hide. Please.”

“Clary needs it, Alec. She has a plan, you know it’ll work. She’ll stop Valentine and when she does, the Clave will fall over themselves to drop the charges. We’ll be fine.” Izzy soothed, rubbing his arm.

“How could you make that call without asking me?!” Alec hissed, stepping out of her reach. “I thought the three of us were in this together, why would you shut me out?”

Izzy gestured at the walls around them. “Hello? I wanted to protect you from ending up like this?”

“That wasn’t your decision to make.”

“Says you, Mr ‘I’m going to throw my life away for my sister’s sake without bothering to ask’. Where was your team spirit when you decided to sacrifice yourself for me? Maybe I just wanted to repay you, did you think of that?!” Izzy asked.

Alec swallowed hard. “This is different. My decision to get surgery and marry a woman only affects me. The mortal cup could be lost forever in another goddamn dimension, Izzy. This affects everybody.”

“I have faith in Clary.”

Alec ran his hands through his hair. “I want to have faith in her, Iz, I do, but we’re talking about her going up against Valentine by herself. That is a huge risk. If he gets a hold of that tarot card, we’re done for.”

Izzy nodded, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s all or nothing, Alec, I know. But you know as well as I do that Lydia and the Clave have no intention of stopping Valentine until he starts killing high ranking shadowhunters.”

“You’re right. The Clave don’t give a shit, but the mortal cup…”

“Alec, whatever either of us did in the past can’t be changed. There’s no point standing here going back and forth. Clary has the cup and neither of us can reach her. I’m going to go on trial and hopefully, if I have a good advocate, it’ll be drawn out long enough for Clary to get back with Valentine and the cup. If not…”

“You’ll be deruned,” Alec reminded her.

Izzy nodded, sighing. “I’m willing to risk that.”

Alec looked at the blank white wall behind Izzy, his lips pursed. “Alright,” he relented, scratching his forehead. “Alright. Who’s going to be your advocate?”

“I want Magnus to do it.” Izzy insisted.

“But downworlders can’t get involved in Clave business…”

Izzy shrugged. “There’s no harm in asking, is there?”

Alec narrowed his eyes at her. “You just want me to go and see him so I’ll change my mind about Lydia. Who, by the way, I dumped.”

“You dumped her?!” Izzy looked happier than she had in a week, and she clutched at Alec’s arms, staring up at him with pride. “Really?”

“Uh, of course I did, are you kidding me? She’s trying to have you deruned. I’m not about to marry anyone who messes with my dumbass kid sister.”

Izzy hugged him again, squeezing him so tightly he thought his eyes might pop out of his head. “So you cancelled the surgery too, right?”

“No…” Alec admitted, pressing his face into her hair. “I’ve got the consultation in about an hour. I managed to convince Mom and Dad to let me go alone, thank God. The last thing I need is their over enthusiasm. It’ll just be me and Cat and the surgeon, talking about my options.”

“Are you sure that this is what you want? 100%?” Izzy asked, pushing him back half a step to meet his eyes.

Alec swallowed hard, running his hand through his hair. “I’m not sure what my feelings are about it. I hope this appointment is going to make me feel a little less… Terrified.”

Izzy frowned sympathetically at him. “I’d give anything to be coming with you for support.”

“Anything except the mortal cup, apparently,” Alec grumbled, smirking as Izzy shoved him.

As Alec made his way to the hospital, he tried to think about absolutely anything except the conversation he was about to have. Cat had gotten his number from Magnus, and the two of them had texted a little that morning, but her insistences that everything was going to be his decision didn’t make him feel any better. He had an overwhelming fear that he had no idea what the fuck he was doing in any part of his life. And for something like this? Major surgery? Alec felt like he should be sure, and he just…

Wasn’t.

Cat said it was normal to feel nervous, and that he shouldn’t pay attention to people who insisted that they were always 100% sure about surgery, because everyone experienced at least a little anxiety about it. Alec thought she was probably right, but he was also skeptical that any of those people felt the overwhelming terror of being put under anaesthetic that he did. Luckily, Cat was waiting for him near the doors, looking uncharacteristically perturbed.

“Hey, Alec. How are you feeling?” She asked, squeezing his shoulder.

“Uhhh…”

Cat smiled reassuringly. “Overwhelmed?”

“As overwhelmed as anyone’s ever been, yeah.” Alec agreed, shoving his hands in his pockets as they started walking through the hospital. “I didn’t expect any of this to happen so quickly.”

“That’s understandable.” Cat nodded. “I just want to apologise for being so… I really had no idea you were a shadowhunter. If I did I wouldn’t have made you feel so pressured to strike out on your own, I know how hard that is for your kind.”

Alec waved it away, shrugging. “Not your fault, Cat. I didn’t think for a second that you were a warlock, it never occured to me. Honestly I didn’t think downworlders had mundane jobs.”

“Most don’t,” Cat snorted, her eyes on the patients passing them, nodding and smiling at the ones she knew. “I guess I’m just a masochist, huh?”

“Must be,” Alec hummed, “though I’m guessing it must be nice to spend time with people who aren’t constantly on alert that the world is going to end.”

Cat chuckled. “Actually a surprising number of mundanes convince themselves the world is going to end every other week.”

“Oh yeah, that gross guy’s President now, right?”

“Alec, do you even know his name?” Cat teased, glancing over at him.

Alec shrugged, smirking a bit. “All I know is he looks like an angry cheeto.”

“How on Earth did I ever think you were a mundane?” Cat laughed, elbowing Alec in the ribs. “Alright, kid, here we are. So before we go in, I’m just going to let you know what’s about to happen, since I have a feeling you’ve done basically no prep for this, right?”

“I’ve only known about it for 16 hours… And it’s been a busy 16 hours…” Alec admitted.

“No problem. So when we go in, the surgeon will introduce himself. His sister was turned into a werewolf so he knows that the supernatural exists, but he doesn’t know specifics. I just told him that you had non-human blood, so he’s leaving the transfusions to me. Everything else is going to be basically the same. So he’ll ask you to take off your shirt and binder and he’ll take a look at your chest, take a couple of pictures for reference, and then he’ll be able to tell you which method is best. Then he’ll ask if you have any questions.”

“What if I don’t know what questions I should ask?” Alec asked, adjusting his shirt.

Cat patted his shoulder. “I’ve got you covered. I watched a couple of videos of these consultations last night so I’ll just ask him the things that they asked in the videos, okay?”

Alec melted a little, looking at her with pure gratitude. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey,” Cat said, pointing in his face, “your very existence fucks the Clave’s mind so much, kid, I love you for it. You’re a good boy, and I’m gonna do everything I can for you, alright?”

“Alright,” Alec smiled, wringing his hands together. “Alright, let’s do it.”

In the consultation room, the man who Alec assumed was the surgeon was already sat down at the desk, looking at the computer screen in front of him. At the sound of them entering the room, he turned, and Alec almost blushed. He wasn’t a doddery old man with thinning hair, like Alec had expected, but a fit Latino with kind eyes in his mid thirties. He rose and held out his hand to Alec, a friendly smile on his face.

“Hi, you must be Alec. I’m Doctor Camarena, it’s nice to meet you.” He said, and God, his voice was dreamy, too.

Alec swallowed hard, and nodded. “Hi.”

Cat patted him on the back, realising she probably should have warned Alec in advance that his surgeon was rather nice to look at. “Do you want me to leave the room while you show the doctor what he’s working with?”

“No!” Alec blurted out grabbing her arm. “No, no… You’re good.”

Doctor Camarena chuckled, turning to pick up a camera from the desk. “Alright, Alec, I’m guessing that Catarina’s already told you that I need to take a look at your chest?”

Alec nodded, and started unbuttoning his shirt with shaking fingers. God, why didn’t he ask for a female surgeon? He hoped that his face didn’t look as hot as it felt as he put his shirt down on the sofa behind him, swallowing hard as he started to peel his binder up and over his head. He kept his eyes down, tangling his hands together behind his back as Doctor Camarena clicked the digital camera on, the whirring sound of it powering up making Alec suck his lower lip into his mouth. This was not how he figured his first nude pictures would go.

“Great. Am I alright to take some pictures for reference?” He checked.

“Yes, do what you need to.” Alec replied, squeezing his eyes shut.

Doctor Camarena hummed thoughtfully as he snapped the pictures. “Alec, you’re going to have really good results. You have excellent muscle structure underneath the breast tissue, so healing will be a piece of cake for you. You work out a lot?”

“Uhhhh, yeah, kinda. I keep active.” Alec explained, glancing over his shoulder at Cat, who gave him a thumbs up.

“That’s excellent news.” Camarena smiled, picking up Alec’s binder to give it back to him. “Right, all done. Now I just need to ask you some questions. Take a seat.”

Alec was wriggling into his binder, wheezing a little as his chest was crushed. He turned away from the doctor and Cat to rearrange his breasts, making sure they were placed properly before grabbing his shirt to put it back on. “Right, cool… Shoot.”

“So first of all, I am going to have to do the double incision method. Your Mom mentioned that keyhole would be preferable, but there’s just too much breast tissue for that.” Doctor Camarena explained, picking up a pen to twirl between his fingers.

“Fair enough,” Alec shrugged. He’d assumed that was going to be the case. “I’m just… The thought of having two big cuts…”

“I understand that it’s not a pleasant thought, but I do literally five hundred of these procedures a year, so the odds of complications are very slim. I have a less than 1% revision rate. And with muscles like yours? I can promise that you’re going to have a very uniform flat contour of the chest, well placed nipples. It’ll look a million times better than any other chest procedure someone could do.” He insisted, “and that’s not just me tooting my own horn. I would heavily recommend double incision. Of course, you’re free to go to somewhere like Mexico, where they’ll do keyhole, but they won’t be able to guarantee the same results.”

Alec nodded, wringing his hands together. “I get it. I know that the results will be good, but I’m… I’m feeling anxious about the surgery itself. The thought of being put under and cut up is, uh… As you said, unpleasant. Is there anything I can do to stop feeling like this?”

“I wish there was some kind of magic wand I could wave to keep you from feeling anxious, Alec, but unfortunately, I am a mere mortal.” Doctor Camarena chuckled, leaning forward so his elbows were on his knees. “But I can’t stress enough. You’re young, fit, and from what your file says, pretty damn healthy. You’re going to be fine.”

“Right, right.” Alec sighed, scratching the back of his head. “Right.”

“I would recommend watching some vlogs on YouTube of some of the guys I’ve worked on in the past, let me write you a list.” He held up a finger for a moment, turning to grab his notebook. “These men and enbies all had the same procedure as you, and they documented their recovery. Maybe it’ll help to see what you’ll be going through in the weeks after surgery?”

Alec looked at Cat out of the corner of his eye and mouthed ‘youtube?’, and she pressed her hand to her mouth to hide her smile. “Yeah, thanks, Doctor Camarena. I’ll check them out.”

“I hope that eases your nerves a little. Remember, you can call all of this off at any time; you’re paying afterwards anyway.” Camarena assured him. “So, let’s get through these questions. Some of them are silly, but I have to ask them, alright? Alright. So first, have you been seeing a therapist or medical professional who recommends you get chest surgery?”

“Uh, yeah… Cat’s my nurse but my family doctor also recommended it in my treatment plan a few years ago…” Alec answered.

Camarena nodded, jotting it down. “Do you identify as male?”

“Yeah, uh… Obviously.” Alec shrugged, the question making him a little insecure.

“Sometimes I get non binary people coming for surgery too,” he reminded Alec, not looking up from his notes, “so I have to ask.”

Alec made a little ‘ah’ sound, jamming his hands between his knees. “Right, right.”

“Who’s going to be looking after you after your surgery?”

“Oh, um…” He’d counted on Izzy being there, but now that she was on trial… “Uhh… My Mom, I guess?”

Cat cut in. “Alec’s seeing one of my friends, who’ll be happy to help out if Alec’s Mom needs to go to work or whatever.”

“I am?! He will?!” Alec asked, a little alarmed. Cat just snorted at him. “He will,” he nodded, looking back at the doctor.

“That’s great news; the support of family and friends is absolutely integral to your recovery,” Camarena smiled, “and I’m glad to hear you have a supportive boyfriend, as well.”

Alec’s face was definitely red, now. “I wouldn’t call him that…”

“It’s all very new,” Cat agreed, patting Alec’s knee. “But he’ll have all the support he needs, I know that much.”

Camarena pursed his lips as he checked the computer screen for details about Alec’s medical history, the scratch of his pen on the paper the only sound in the room. Alec squirmed, tamping down on the panic building in his stomach. He hadn’t thought about who was going to be there after the surgery. His parents had been sent back to Idris, and Izzy was either going to be locked up or deruned by then, unless Clary made it back with the cup, by some miracle.

“Alright, so do you have any questions, Alec?” The doctor asked, turning in his chair to face him again, and Alec swallowed hard, feeling clammy.

“I have a list passed on from his parents, if I could just take some notes about your answers…” Cat volunteered, tugging a small flip-pad out of her top pocket.

It felt like Alec’s soul had left his body as Cat and Doctor Camarena talked about scars and revisions and costs; he could have sworn he was floating in the air above the hospital, his eyes staring unseeingly into space. He could barely hear anything, just the rumble of voices, and his body tingled all over.

It felt like he’d only blinked twice when Cat gently touched his hand, and he jumped out of his skin, snapping back to the room. “Alec, we’re done.” She told him, and he coughed, nodding.

“Alright then, Alec, your surgery is scheduled a week from today. Any problems or worries, call my secretary and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible, alright?” Doctor Camarena held out his hand, and Alec shook it vigorously, making eye contact for a moment before looking away again.

“Yeah, got it. Thanks.” He mumbled, blinking a few times to try and centre himself back in his body.

“See you, Doc,” Cat waved as she led Alec from the room, putting her arm around his shoulders the moment they got back out into the corridor. “Alec, are you alright? Do you need a moment?”

Alec let out a long breath, scratching his forehead. “Izzy’s in trouble and it just sort of hit me that I’m going to lose her,” he admitted, letting Cat pull him along. “I don’t know what to do. All this is happening at the same time, I-”

“It’s going to be alright, sweetie, just breathe.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Clary got back to her Mom and Dad’s house, Izzy was already there, having a cup of tea with Valentine in the kitchen. “Hey! You ran off earlier!”

“Oh, uh… Yeah, sorry, had some inspiration, had to draw.” Clary smiled apologetically, rubbing Izzy’s back as she hugged her.

“Izzy was just telling me that Alec’s got everything absolutely perfect. I’m excited to see everyone’s hard work pay off.” Valentine clapped his hands, and stood from the table. “Right, I have to go and start getting ready. I’ll see you both at the Institute.”

“See you later, Mr Morgenstern!” Izzy shot back over her shoulder, her eyes still on Clary. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Clary smiled, nodding. “Of course. Just a little nervous for the party. Did you bring your clothes?”

“Yeah, they’re already hanging up in your room. But um…” Izzy glanced meaningfully at Valentine’s closed bedroom door. “We have some time before we have to get ready.”

“Uhhh… Yeah, probably, I don’t know what time it is,” Clary admitted, though she made no move to stop Izzy from pulling her towards her own bedroom.

Izzy giggled, wrapping her arms around Clary’s neck and kissing her soundly. “Who cares? We haven’t been alone in days.”

Clary hummed, her mind racing. How was she going to explain to Izzy that she didn’t want to have sex with her because they’d barely touched in her dimension and she didn’t want to have sex for the first time with a girl who technically was her girlfriend but who didn’t really feel like her? Izzy turned to close the bedroom door, before peeling her shirt up over her head.

“Alec will kill us if we’re late,” Clary pointed out weakly, her eyes drawn to Izzy’s black lacy bra. Oh God, Clary realised, nerdy Izzy had planned all of this out.

“I’m a little offended that you’re thinking of my brother at a time like this, Clary Fray,” Izzy purred, pushing Clary back towards the bed.

Clary gulped. “Actually, um… I don’t really feel like it right now, Iz.”

“Oh.” Izzy let go of her waist, putting her hands behind her back sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“No, no, it’s me. I just feel a little stressed, it’s… You know.” Clary explained, waving her hands around like that could explain her nonsense.

Izzy smiled, and leaned in to kiss Clary on the nose. “You don’t have to explain.”

Clary sighed in relief. “Thanks. Let’s get ready, hmm?”

“Yeah, I was going to ask actually, could I borrow your nude stilettos?” Izzy asked, turning to pick up her dress.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time Clary and Izzy got to the party, there were already quite a few people milling around, and Alec was barking orders, holding a teacup between his ringed fingers. He smiled at the sight of them, and downed whatever was in the cup before handing it off to a waiter and hurrying over to them. “What do you think?”

The decor made the halls of the institute unrecognisable, and Clary struggled to remember where exactly the elevators were. The walls and ceilings were draped with pink and yellow gossamer, and there were dozens of oval looking glasses set up, all with different distorting effects to make the people who looked into them perceive themselves as all kinds of weird and wonderful shapes. Valentine himself was in the middle of the party with his arm around Jocelyn’s waist, wearing a huge blue top hat.

“Your Dad’s Mad Hatter costume came out great!” Izzy enthused, and Alec tutted, muttering under his breath about his genius going unrecognised yet again. Clary laughed, watching as Alec stalked away to check on something or other. “Hey, come and dance with me.”

Maybe it was the way Izzy was looking at her, without a care in the world, or maybe it was the warm, innocent, supportive atmosphere of the party, but Clary drifted again, her mind clearing of anxieties about the realm she was from. Her focus zeroed into Izzy’s body close to hers, their foreheads touching, their hands twined together at their sides.

Magnus Bane adjusted his bowtie nervously as he walked up to the bouncer at the door to the party, feeling a little twitchy with the feeling of his magic rushing through his veins once more. It had been decades since he’d felt it, and he’d forgotten how invigorating it was. “Uhh, my name should be on the guest list. Magnus Bane.”

With a click of his tongue, the bouncer slipped his finger down the list, looking for his name. “Sorry, buddy, no Magnus Bane here.”

“Maybe I’m just Clary Fray’s plus one?” Magnus tried, and again the bouncer’s finger slid down the page.

“Nope, she doesn’t have one.”

Magnus bit his lower lip. “Listen, she promised that she’d get me in, she’s right there, you can ask her-”

“I’ll vouch for this one,” insisted a man that Magnus had never seen before. He was a couple of inches taller than Magnus, with a slight wave to his slicked back dark hair and the pinkest lips Magnus had ever seen on a man.

“Uhhh… Thanks,” Magnus smiled, stepping around the bouncer.

“I’m sure that I’d remember you if we’d met before. Alec Lightwood.” He smiled, handing Magnus a teacup with pink liquid inside it.

“Magnus Bane,” he replied, sipping the sickly sweet cocktail Alec handed him.

Alec tilted his head to the side coyly. “So how do you know the happy couple?”

“Oh, I don’t. I’m a friend of Clary’s.”

“Is that so? I’m Izzy’s brother. I’m surprised she’s never tried to set us up, she introduces me to all her friends from art school.” Alec shrugged, looking Magnus up and down as he drank from his own teacup.

Magnus laughed nervously, glancing over at Clary and realising that she’d forgotten that she didn’t belong in this dimension. “Well, yes, anyway, better be going. See you around, Alec.” He hurried over to where Clary was dancing with a cute brunette. As he went, he vaguely caught Alec muttered something about a challenge, but that could be dealt with later.

“Clary,” Magnus hissed, taking her by the elbow as he reached the dancefloor, “we don’t have much time.”

“Let go of me!” Clary snapped, eyes going wide as a stranger grabbed her out of nowhere. He just held onto her tighter, looking directly into her eyes. She vaguely recognised him, and her eyes narrowed as she tried to place him.

“Hey, get off her!” Izzy demanded, shoving weakly at the stranger’s shoulder.

“Clary, it’s me, Magnus. Remember your mission. Remember this?” He pressed, lifting the portal shard necklace up into her line of sight.

All of a sudden it came rushing back, and rather than pushing Magnus away, she gripped him securely. “We have to do this now, I don’t know how much longer I can keep a hold of myself.”

“What are you talking about?” Izzy asked, looking between the two of them with confusion.

“Sorry, Iz, I just didn’t recognise him in the suit. This is my psychic, Magnus. We have to go and do an emergency palm reading, be right back!” Clary explained hurriedly, already pulling Magnus towards the elevators that would take them down into the basement.

“I don’t think she bought that,” Magnus warned her, and Clary sighed.

“That’s a problem for the other me to handle.” She said, running her hand through her hair as the elevator doors closed.

Magnus nodded, wringing his hands together. “I’m going to tell them that you were allergic to some incense in my loft, and it made you act erratically and forget the last 24 hours.”

“That’s genius, Magnus, thank you,” Clary smiled, tugging off the portal shard necklace and handing it to Magnus as the doors opened onto the basement. “Alright, can you find it?”

“Over here,” Magnus beckoned her, following the vibrations of dormant magic pulsing through the room. “Ah!”

There was a crack in the wall, in the middle of which was a chip just the right size and shape for the portal shard to fit into. Magnus placed the gem into the wall and magic erupted from the crack, Magnus catching and manipulating it just in time to create a purple interdimensional portal. Clary looked at him with a question in her eyes, and he nodded.

“Clary, what the hell is that thing?” Izzy gasped from behind her, her glasses reflecting the purple light from the portal.

“You have to go, Clary, I’ll deal with the fallout. Go!” Magnus pressed, and Clary gave Izzy one last glance before pushing through the portal and tumbling out on the other side.

She had the same clothes and weapons on her that she’d had when she entered Meliorn’s portal, and she drew her seraph blade as she ducked to take in her surroundings. Magnus’ portal had opened out into what seemed to be an abandoned factory that had been turned into a laboratory. There was a huge table pushed up against some old, rusted machinery which held lots of different kinds of chemistry apparatus, and Clary had heard Izzy talk about forensics enough to know that the green liquid dripping through the tubes closest to her was Seelie blood.

There was plenty of equipment scattered around, tables and cages and cabinets, but there were no people. Clary activated her enhanced hearing rune and listened, closing her eyes. There were no voices in the factory, but she could hear a faint pained whimpering. With fears of finding her mother injured, Clary ran towards the source of the noise, seraph blade poised and ready just in case someone tried to surprise her.

The noise had been coming from a narrow cabinet, the door fastened with a padlock. Clary opened it using her stele and yanked the door open, her eyes widening at what she saw.

Dot, her skin smeared with blood and grime, blinked unseeingly against the daylight that flooded into her prison. She held up her shaking hands defensively, as if expecting to be beaten. Clary fell to her knees next to her, and reached out a tentative hand, tears of relief prickling her eyes. Magnus had seemed so sure that Dot had passed, and here she was, bruised and beaten, but alive.

“Dot, it’s me. It’s Clary. I’m here to rescue you.”

#transgender alec lightwood #shadowhunters fanfic #shadowhunters fanfiction #fighting the good fight #ftgf verse #content #writing

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sumigakure · 8 years

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Photogenic

Fanfiction, A03, Original Post

Rating: T, maybe teen plus? Is that a thing? Words: 2700 Summary: Halloween party prompt fill. In which Gai dresses as Kakahi and gets all the girls while Genma sulks (but not for too long). Genma/Kakashi pairing implied Pairing: Genma/Kakashi Warning: Mild language, Genma warning, implied adult situations Author’s Note: This is a prompt fill for Sumigakure’s Halloween Event on tumblr. Prompt 10: Halloween Party. It’s not what I planned at all but Genma and Sukea stole the show, so sorry not sorry?

“You can not go as a ninja,” Genma grumbled. “The whole point of Halloween is to be someone different.”

“I’m not just going as any ninja,” Gai said dramatically, spinning in a circle to present his former teammate with a characteristic thumbs up. “I’m a copy of the Copy Ninja.”

For once, Gai had forgone his green jumpsuit in favor of the standard issue jonin blues and green flak vest. The leg weights or leg warmers, Genma was never quite sure which, were missing as well. A matching blue headband slanted over Gai’s left eye while his face hid behind a half mask. Somehow, the jonin had managed to frost his dark hair to silver, and copious amounts of hairspray held it upright. In poor lighting, and with enough alcohol, he might possibly pass for Kakashi. At least, until he opened his mouth.

While Genma had opted for a more tradition costume, he’d gone overboard as usual. Anko had showed him a contouring trick that paled his skin, made his cheekbones more prominent, and drew attention to his hazel eyes. While, make-up wasn’t normally his thing, Genma decided Halloween could be an exception. Both iconic bandana and senbon were missing, which almost never happened, and Genma’s brown hair had been slicked back from his face.

The tokujo toyed with the buttons of his shirt, undoing two, then redoing the lowest. The white fabric hugged his muscles, and the open collar provided a peek at the black choker around his throat. His black pants were tight enough that Genma practically had to shimmy into them, and he wasn’t entirely sure that he could get them back off. But if the night went the way he was planning, that wouldn’t be his problem anyway.

“Kakashi is going to flip when he sees you,” Genma said as he pulled on a deep crimson vest, then a high collared cape. He’d selected one that was short enough to show off his most valuable asset. There would be no point in tight pants if he hid behind a cape. Pearly fangs peeked through Genma’s wine colored lips, and he clicked them together, grinning. These were almost as good as senbon.

Gai paused in the middle of one-legged squats when Genma’s words finally sank home. “You think my eternal rival will challenge me to a contest of flips? We haven’t done that one yet.”

Genma shook his head, not bothering to explain the idiom to the other man. “We’re already late, let’s just go.”

Music reached Genma’s ears long before he found the place the Halloween Party was supposed to be held. Since it had taken him longer to get ready than he’d planned, the room was already full of people. A civilian in an ANBU costume greeted Genma and Gai as soon as they stepped through the door. Genma could tell by the muscle tone of her bared arms that she wasn’t shinobi, but the tightness of her shirt more than made up for that. Perhaps the most surprising thing about her, however, was that she flirted with Gai, rather than Genma. Her hand rested on his arm, and she trilled with laughter over something that Genma was ninety-five percent sure wasn’t funny.

Oh Kami, she really believes it’s Kakashi, Genma realized with a start. He wasn’t about to try and explain the woman’s mistake.

A cursory glance around the room revealed several familiar faces. The hulking mass of werewolf leaning against the wall next to a petite mummy had to be Asuma and Kurenai. Their bodies were far too close for friendship, no matter what they claimed. Anko stood by the drinks, skin green with makeup and red with fake wounds to make her look like a ghoul. At least, Genma thought they were fake; shinobi lead difficult lives, the scars might have been her own. Her outfit, some kind of wrappings that looked like cobwebs, managed to be more revealing than her normal attire.

Extracting Gai from the “ANBU” temporarily, Genma dragged him deeper into the room. As he navigated through the sea of disguised yet recognizable faces, he found himself looking for Kakashi. It wasn’t that Genma had spent extra time getting ready because he thought Kakashi might be here. It definitely wasn’t that Genma wanting the man to see him in something other than his uniform. He just wanted to see the Copy Nin’s face-well his eye-when he saw Gai’s costume. That was all.

Anko grinned at Genma as she handed him a red plastic cup of some sugar laced concoction that was supposed to pass for punch. Her eyes swept over the vampire from head to toe. “You’re almost pretty enough to taste my blood instead of the other way around.”

“Almost,” Genma returned with a chuckle. Though he was rougher than average in the bedroom, he had never understood the woman’s fascination with blood.

Gai huffed in annoyance as he looked at the cup in his hand. “How does my eternal rival manage to drink things?”

“Carefully,” Genma responded absently. His attention was focused on two pretty women who were watching he and Gai from across the room. One was dressed in a skintight, black bodysuit with cat ears nestled in her raven hair, and the other wore a nurse’s outfit like nothing he’d ever seen on a medical nin. If they instituted that uniform, Genma would have allowed himself be injured far more often. “Do you have a preference of the two?” He nodded his chin toward the women while sipping his drink.

Gai’s visible eye moved to the women, then he seemed to realize what Genma was asking. “It’s unfair to pick a favorite. Surely each flower has its own uniqueness.”

To halt the laughter threatening to spill out, Genma drained his cup. Gai certainly didn’t mean flowers in the sense Genma was thinking, but maybe after tonight, he would. The tokujo refilled his cup before leading his friend over to the women. When their eyes drifted past him to Gai, Genma felt a sinking feeling in his gut. Not again.

“You’re the Copy Ninja aren’t you?” Cat giggled as Nurse moved closer to Gai, touching his chest. Gai mumbled some kind of response that sounded vaguely Kakashi-like and the girls laughed again.

“You’re so pretty you don’t even need a costume, do you?” Nurse asked and Genma almost threw up in his mouth.

After ten minutes, he realized that neither woman knew he existed and excused himself to get another drink.

“Aw, are you feeling left out?” Anko purred, moving closer to Genma’s side. “Look at Gai though,” she nodded to where a third woman had joined his harem.

Genma snorted. “How can they really believe he’s Kakashi?” He finished another glass of the fruity, fizzy nonsense Anko was serving.

After sipping her own drink, the woman shrugged. “Because Kakashi isn’t here, and I doubt he would bother with dressing up if he were.”

Anko rolled her eyes, and pointed out some of the better costumes. A painfully pretty “Madara” stood beside a geisha, chatting easily. Near one of the walls, an unfamiliar boy was dressed entirely in brown with his long hair dyed green. Flowers and branches had been worked through it. The best thing Genma could figure was that he was supposed to be a tree. A shock of silver-white hair caught Genma’s attention, and temporarily stopped his heart, but it was only someone pretending to Tobirama, red marks and all.

“Who’s that?” Genma nodded toward a stranger in jeans, a long grey jacket, and a blue scarf wrapped around his neck.

Anko shrugged. “Some kind of photographer, I think. He said something about capturing memories for future generation when he came to get a drink.”

The pair watched the man move around the room, easily snapping pictures of couples and individuals. A few men and women paused and struck up a conversation with him, but he gracefully slid away from mos. Even the damn photographer, who hadn’t bothered with a costume, was getting more attention than Genma.

“I want some consideration too. Dammit, I worked hard on this makeup,” Genma sulked. Anko flashed an amused smiled, but wisely didn’t say anything.

The later it got, the rowdier the party became. Kakashi-Gai had half a dozen women around him and the cute photographer was talking with Tree Boy, and it looked an awful lot like flirting to Genma. They stood nearly as close as Asuma and Kurenai has been earlier. Speaking of that, the werewolf and mummy were slumped together in a corner of the room, making out in clear view of everyone. So much for secrets, Genma thought. In fact, several couples were doing the same thing around the room. That seemed a bad idea, but Genma couldn’t remember why and was too busy pouting to bother with it anyway. The man who always had a lover on his arm didn’t even have a prospective, and Kakashi still hadn’t shown up.

For some reason, probably jealousy, Genma’s hazel eyes kept being drawn back to the photographer. He’d moved away from Tree Boy and was leaning against the wall by himself now. Surprisingly, nobody moved in to exploit his time, though he’d hardly been alone all evening.

“Why don’t you just go talk to him. If you stare any harder-” Anko’s face scrunched up as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say, then she giggled.

Genma’s mouth fell open, and he nearly lost his fangs in shock. Anko was capable of a wide range of sounds, from menacing laughter to the edge of insanity chuckle, but giggles weren’t in her arsenal. “What’s gotten into you?” He was terrified of the answer.

Anko stumbled two steps toward the table and refilled her glass. “I may have spiked the punch, just a little bit.”

“How much is a little bit?” Genma glanced at the massive cauldron sized bowl they’d been filling their glasses from.

Anko giggled again, and Genma felt his stomach drop. “A bottle, or two. Maybe three. No more than four.”

That would explain the behavior happening around the room from the frantic making out and the number of couples stumbling out together. The Madara and Tobirama he’d seen earlier were dancing in way that looked more suited to the bedroom than the dance floor. Genma’s eyes widened as far as they would go when he found his former teammate. Gai and Cat girl were making out against a wall and there was far too much enthusiastic hand movements happening. Genma felt his stomach heave, but maybe that was the effects of the alcohol, he’d certainly drank too much.

Since he’d had enough of being alone with Anko and her poisonous drinks, Genma wandered off after throwing his cup away. The photographer stood alone still, surveying the scene around him with a calm demeanor. He probably hadn’t drank as much as everyone else since he was working. As he walked toward the man, Genma put on his most endearing smile. “Do I know you?” That was terrible as far as pickup lines went, but Genma couldn’t bring himself to care.

“Maybe, maybe not.” Amusement filled the man’s unfamiliar voice. In a rush of overconfidence that was typical of Genma, he pressed closer to the photographer. Close enough for the faint scent of cologne to make his head spin, and to feel the tight muscles in the man’s forearm. “My name’s Sukea, by the way. Can I help you?”

“Do you want to go home with me?” Somehow, the normally smooth lines that were life to Genma fled, and he said the first thing that popped into his mind.

The man laughed, and his dark eyes appraised Genma’s body. While it was slightly uncomfortable, Genma wasn’t intimidated. He hadn’t been cursed with false modesty; he knew he looked good in his costume. “You’re quite forward with someone you’ve just met. You haven’t even offered me a drink yet.”

“Anko spiked the punch,” Genma confided a couple octaves louder than he meant to.

Sukea laughed. “I know, but I think I might need a drink before I let you take me home.”

Genma frowned. Sukea was pretty enough to be tempting, and it didn’t look like Kakashi was going to show up. Why not, whispered the voice that got him in trouble far more often than it helped him. Genma didn’t want all of his hard work on the costume and makeup to be for nothing, after all.

As they turned back toward the table and the drinks, Genma felt a hand ghost across his back then slide lower. Sukea leaned closer to whisper by his ear. “Do you have a pretty boyfriend I need to be worried about? Or girlfriend?”

“Would you be dissuaded if I said yes?” Genma turned back to the man and clicked his fangs together. They weren’t as good as his senbon, but they were fun in a different way. Heat entered the man’s gaze as he followed the movement with dark eyes.

“No,” Sukea chuckled, and it almost sounded familiar. Before Genma could figure out why, the man snaked an arm around his waist and pulled Genma close, pressing their lips together.

Breathlessly, Genma returned the kiss and leaned into Sukea. The hard muscles of the man’s chest met Genma’s, and he groaned in surprise. Another vague thought formed in the back of his mind, something about the fact that this man must work out harder than most shinobi, but Sukea’s skilled fingers caressing Genma’s back chased the thought away.

“I thought you needed a drink,” Genma breathed as they broke apart, his voice trembling slightly. He had been completely unprepared for the kiss, or for the electricity it sparked through his entire body.

“You kiss better than I thought you would,” Sukea growled softly, desire obvious in his voice as he trapped Genma from moving too far away.

Genma chuckled. “Wait until I get you home and show you what else I can do.”

Tugging his hand, Genma led the man from the room. Kakashi doesn’t know what he missed out on, Genma thought as he and Sukea stumbled into his apartment a few minutes later.

The next morning, Genma woke to an empty bed and a pounding headache. Groaning, he tried to recall the previous night, but it came in disconnected snippets. He’d definitely brought Sukea back to his apartment. He vaguely recalled that his fangs had left the man whimpering for more. The pants had been as difficult to get off as Genma feared, but Sukea solved that problem with a kunai. Genma could still see the tatters of black fabric on the floor by the bed, along with the buttons where the man had been impatient to get Genma’s shirt off.

There had been a moment, when they were wrapped around each other that Sukea whispered Genma’s name and he felt a flicker of something inside his chest. There had been multiple times during the night that Genma thought he was figuring something out, but Sukea was a distraction of the best kind and the alcohol made it too difficult for him to remember. Instead, Genma tugged the blankets back around him and fell back to sleep.

It wouldn’t be for another couple of years that Genma saw Sukea again. He, along with Kakashi’s genin, were in trouble for trying to break into the records room. Standing guard outside the Hokage’s office, he saw the man and felt the way that Sukea’s eyes lingered on him.

The hazy memories fit themselves back together like perfect puzzle pieces. The laughter could have only been Kakashi’s, the desperate caress as he whispered Genma’s name now sounded familiar. How it had taken him this long to put two and two together, Genma had no idea. Dark eyes met his, and “Sukea” smiled. Against all odds, Genma blushed and held his silence.

When Genma went back to his apartment later that evening, there was a envelop shoved under the door. A single picture of Genma nestled inside. He was lying in bed, brown hair falling over his eyes, with the sheets tangled around his legs. Though he was obviously undressed beneath the blankets, the photo only exposed his back and arms. It had been captured with just enough light to soften Genma’s features even more than the makeup had. Holding the photograph loosely, the man couldn’t help but laugh. Apparently Kakashi was as good at photography as he was in bed.

#Sumigakure Halloween Event 2016 #submission #dimigex #sumigakure #Sumigakure Halloween Event 2016: Prompt 10 #rank: b #rated: t

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virginiamurrayblog · 6 years

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Teenage Boys Are Slaying the Makeup Game—and I’m Salty

Photo illustration: Ka Lee and Joel Louzado

Whenever I walked into a drugstore as a teenager, I would always feel the hairs on my neck raise as I passed the forbidden land: The Makeup Aisle. All the different brands and products were *so* overwhelming, and also totally intriguing. But as a young, Indo-Canadian man who wasn’t publicly out yet, I didn’t feel like I could partake in its mysteries. Until I moved out for school, that is. By then, I felt less restricted by judgemental high school peers and watchful family members, so I decided that my getting-cute routine could consist of more than just moisturizer. I told my girlfriends that I wanted to buy a concealer, news that prompted immediate screams of excitement. We drove to the nearest drugstore, and they each made their case for which brand I should buy. (None of their picks had options dark enough for me to use, but that’s another issue.) I chose one that seemed close enough to my skin tone and left before anyone else I knew spotted me. I felt quite insecure and anxious that day, but little did I know that crusty little concealer would open up a whole world of self-exploration.

Three years after that fateful Shoppers adventure, men are taking up a larger place in the world of makeup. Social media is full of young male gurus, like James Charles or Manny Gutierrez, who feel confident enough to express themselves using foundation—and so much more. But while seeing them genuinely makes me happy, when I scroll past 10-year-old instabaddies and 15-year-old beauty bloggers, I’m also faced with this overwhelming feeling of jealousy. It’s more than just being envious of someone who has achieved success at a young age—it’s that I can’t help but wish I had that much confidence (and support) when I was that age.

Instagram was just establishing itself when I was in grade nine, so I didn’t have influencers like Charles or Gutierrez to look up to. Until I was about 17, I didn’t even realize that makeup could be for men. In my naive little head, makeup on men was for Halloween and goth punks only. The first time I saw a man wear eyeshadow and lipstick casually was when I stumbled across a YouTuber by the name of Miles Jai. What intrigued me most about Miles was that, at the time, he presented femininely but still identified as male. Though he has since come out as non-binary, his videos were eye-opening for me; for the first time, I realized I could express myself in more traditionally feminine ways, yet still define my own gender.

youtube

Even though my parents know about my makeup and sexuality, I still can’t wear lipstick in front of them without feeling embarrassed

It took time before I felt ready to rock makeup as openly as Miles Jai. Being a teenager is tough, but being a teenager who’s also gay and Indian came with another set of challenges. Homosexuality is still illegal in India, which has a large impact on the way that Indian people, even in the diaspora, view men. Not only is homophobia rampant and common, but older straight men project their toxic masculinity onto their descendants. Just having my relatives chirp me for choosing arts over sports was enough to scare me away from makeup and anything deemed even relatively “girly.”

That’s partially why, when I see white boys who are makeup artists, I see a lot of other things in addition to their outstanding talent.

It is a monumental privilege to be able to do something that’s unacceptable in your culture without having to worry about your safety and mental health. The fear of an auntie or uncle seeing me in lipstick was enough to stifle my creativity for years. I’m not saying that this fear doesn’t exist for other cultures as well—wearing makeup as a man is scary no matter who you are. But issues of gender expression and sexuality are just not the same for a white person as they are for a person of colour.

And even when I did start buying makeup and experimenting with different looks, I still worried about what my family would think—especially when I moved back home after first year to save some coin. After a year of wearing makeup openly, it became something I did exclusively at night, when everyone was asleep. Taking pictures of my makeup and later posting them on Instagram (where most of my family was blocked, thank you) was the one thing that kept me from feeling less frustrated and alone.

follow @joellouzado for more! – Genderisasocialconstruct Dowhatyouwant!!! #MondayMotivation – DETAILS EYES @hudabeauty Mauve Obsessions palette @colourpopcosmetics Golden State of Mind Palette @stilacanada Magnificent Metals liquid glitter shadow in Kitten Karma @nyxcosmetics_canada Epic Ink liner – FACE @fentybeauty ProFiltr foundation in 380 @colourpopcosmetics No Filter concealer in Dark 40 @narsissist Liquid Blush in Torrid – LIPS like five different things that i don’t remember lol yikes

A post shared by joel (@joellouzado) on Aug 20, 2018 at 3:30pm PDT

Knowing how important Instagram was to me, it’s easy to see how much harder it was for feminine men before the rise of social media. Timothy Chan, a 33-year-old PR professional in Toronto, told me that he wore foundation to cover acne scars as a teen, but it wasn’t until he went to university in 2003 that he truly started to explore makeup. That’s when he tried out eye makeup as a form of self-expression, to mixed reactions. “My friends and peers were supportive and appreciated the artistry, but it was not always well-received by others,” he says. “It was common for people to stare and even verbally harass me.”

I’ve definitely had my own experiences with harassment because of my makeup. Recently, I was on the subway alone after a dinner with friends. When I got onto a mostly-empty subway car rocking a subtle smoky eye, a man sitting a few seats over made some extremely non-flirty eye contact with me. I’m used to stares by now, and usually staring back will make them look away quickly (a superpower I hold close to my heart). However, when I looked back at the man, he didn’t look away. Immediately, I looked down—I didn’t feel like this was someone I wanted to challenge. Sure enough, seconds later, I heard, “What are you looking at, faggot?” The five or six minutes it took to get to my stop felt like an eternity. I was just grateful that he didn’t get off the subway with me.

Wearing makeup as a man feels like an open invitation for people to judge my sexuality

Clearly, as far as we’ve come, many straight men are still not comfortable with other men expressing themselves in traditionally feminine ways. Although I came out to my family and close friends by the time I was 16, I wasn’t publicly out until I was in my last year of high school. So, wearing makeup before that would have amounted to raising a question that I wasn’t even comfortable answering for myself. Maybe my jealousy stems from not being able to be true to myself at that early an age? I robbed myself of any opportunity of trying anything in makeup, because I was scared that I would be seen as gay before I was ready for the world to know.

I decided to speak to a real-life Teenager who could give me some insight on what it’s like to grow up with makeup. Kevin Kodra, who recently graduated from a Toronto high school, went viral this year when he posted a pic of his perfectly beat mug in his grad photo. Kodra started playing with makeup before he even got to high school, and by the age of 16 had perfected his skill. “I remember watching [drag queens like] Willam and Courtney Act, and I was mesmerized,” he says. This isn’t surprising, as drag artistry has always had a large influence on makeup practices.

“I couldn’t even get my A’s straight” In honour of my 18th birthday, here’s my senior photo . Really though, 17 was a wild year. I made memories that I’ll never forget. Thank you to everyone who was by my side every single day. From friends to family and even you guys, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Let’s grab 18 by the balls and make it my bitch ps. Can y’all stop with the James Charles comparisons, we’re literally two different people. It’s not fair to either of us.

A post shared by Kevin Kodra (@kevikodra) on Apr 30, 2018 at 4:48pm PDT

Kodra’s introduction to makeup and social media happened at a much earlier age than mine, or Chan’s. The difference shows in the way that people respond to his makeup. He claims that he has never felt unsafe in Toronto. “Of course I feel the stares behind my back, but the second I turn around, they put their head down,” he said. “I’m extremely thankful to live in a city that’s predominantly accepting.”

Though I agree that Toronto is accepting, I’m not sure that I have the same positive belief about the community. I understand that everyone’s experience is different and neither Kodra nor I represent a universal reality. But, I don’t think his story should necessarily be taken as a sign that all gay people and feminine men in Toronto are safe. The number of hate crimes against gay people in Canada has actually increased over the past few years, after all. It may just be that teens like Kodra are now growing up with more access to information about the LGBTQ community, and an overall greater understanding to breaking gender roles. Seeing people in media owning who they are can truly make a difference in the way that they see themselves.

I need to focus this negative energy into more positive change

Even now, when my parents know (and are proud of) my makeup, I still feel a sense of embarrassment when I have to tell them I can’t come down for dinner because I’m in the middle of doing a glitter cut crease. It is a learned behaviour that comes from years of hiding who I was. But I’ve come a long way since buying that first concealer. I’ve expanded both my makeup collection and repertoire (I learned that I love the artistry involved in makeup, and I’m like, not bad at it TBH), and over time I’ve found met more men who wear makeup, both online and in person. Of course, I know that compared to the men who came before me, I’ve had an easier time. I’m sure that older people look at me the same way that I look at teenagers like Kodra, wishing that they started living their lives openly as early as I did. While Chan and Kodra went through their journey to acceptance in makeup at different times, their stories aren’t that different, and aren’t that different from mine either.

I am grateful for older generations of men who wore makeup before me. They must have felt very alone, not having role models the way that I do, and it’s only because of them that more and more people are accepting me. And I’m also grateful for younger generations of men who are wearing makeup now. They demonstrate that you can never be too young to follow your passions, and exemplify a level of confidence that we should all aim to own.

please show him this picture and/or my insta page. it wouldve changed my life as a child to have seen another brown boy expressing himself. this story made me super happy pic.twitter.com/Z04vFfKTFA

— joel (@joellouzado) June 20, 2018

Ultimately, I’ve realized that this feeling of jealousy is counterproductive to why I started exploring makeup in the first place. It turns out that my saltiness is not with these teenage white boys themselves. It’s with the media that positions them as heroes, failing to realize that they are *still* only talking about white men. I think we have a long way to go before all men of colour feel as free to express themselves as I do. And who knows, maybe down the road, even straight men can feel confident to pop on some makeup. I take pride in the fact that just by applying mascara, I’m making a political statement. It would make me so happy if little brown boys in the future could feel nothing but pride when they’re putting on mascara, too.

Just Kids? How Today’s Teenagers Became Our Role Models This Edmonton Teen Let FLARE Snoop Through Her Phone For a Week What Tumblr Taught Me About My Gender Identity “People Say You Are a Certain Way Because That’s What You Were like When You Were Five”

The post Teenage Boys Are Slaying the Makeup Game—and I’m Salty appeared first on Flare.

Teenage Boys Are Slaying the Makeup Game—and I’m Salty published first on https://wholesalescarvescity.tumblr.com/

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theworstbob · 7 years

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the thing journal, 3.26.2017

review-like bitlets of the 7+ new things i took in last week.

this week: the bombpops, lupe fiasco, 10 cloverfield lane, andrew mcmahon, halocene, the age of spin, the menzingers, beauty & the beast (2017). if you’re spoiler-averse, maybe don’t check out what i have to say about 10 Cloverfield Lane?

1) Fear of Missing Out, by The Bombpops: This album feels like home. I stumbled across this band because I was trying to find pop/punk acts with female involvement/influence, because hey maybe if I'm going to be writing extensively about the genre I should know more than three punk acts with girls in them? And I heard some song they made in 2012 or so and was impressed enough, and then I learned they had an album drop THIS YEAR! And I came away really impressed, especially by the title track. A lot of this album is love songs and break-up songs that are meant to get precisely at my nostalgic sweet spot AND I AIN'T MIND THAT ONE GOT DAMN BIT but "F.O.M.O." is an astoundingly mature song. I might be misinterpreting things, but it sounds like the band's thinking about where they're at in their music career, and how long they can continue keeping up the party before they realize they've seen/done everything and have to pack it in, it's this really cool blend of energy and introspection, and it gets me at this point in my life where I'm kind of in the same place except I've never made anything as dope as this album, but like I get that line, "I work at 9 AM, but I'm still throwing up." Never, um, Never quite been there myself, but I get what it's like to go to your normal job after throwing yourself into the thing that doesn’t give you health insurance. Even beyond that, there's a lot that I absolutely fucking love about this album, and I'm glad to have found it.

2) DROGAS Light, by Lupe Fiasco: From what I'd heard, I was prepared for this to be Certainly An Album, but I'm here to tell you: it's not that up its ass! It's still there, but only as far as your standard Lupe Fiasco album. It's not Tetsuo & Youth, but I'm not gonna be angry at an album for not being a masterpiece, y'know? I don't think it's inaccessible or overly self-indulgent, but y'know what, seeing that I had to type “not inaccessible or overly self-indulgent,” I'm willing to admit I'm something of a Lupe stan, and I could see how this album cover could appear for the non-believers as a glowing neon sign that says FOR SUPER-FANS ONLY, so I'ma hold off on recommending it. Hell, I'm not sure how often I'm gonna come back to this one. It's fine! Don't take my word for it, though. I'm an unreliable source.

3) 10 Cloverfield Lane, dir. Dan Trachtenberg: That first scene after the title card is so fucking good. The set design for Mary Elizabeth Winstead's room is on point, there's this stain on the ceiling that is never explained, the way there's like two different walls, it really feels like a hovel (and that makes the reveal of the rest of the shelter so much more interesting, how the parts of the room John Goodman designed for himself are so involved and furnished and filled with love, and then MEW's room is clearly just the pit where he keeps girls), but the way it's shot in that scene is insane. They make it feel like the largest room in the world when MEW's trying to reach for her clothes and phone, and then the space tightens up COMPLETELY the second we hear John Goodman's footsteps. The suspense in that scene is palpable, and the film more or less maintains it through the entire film. (More or less. Boy, that scene where they're playing Taboo is ham-fisted! "Hu-durr, what word is woman? I know it's been established I'm pretty much a pedophile, but I also don't know the word 'woman!'") And even though the movie largely takes place in the bunker, every scene in the bunker manages to feel like it takes place somewhere different. I'm not even getting into how this is an entire movie about three people in one location in a wide-release, brand-name sci-fi film, where the stakes are almost the smallest possible: leave the house, stay alive. Even if I didn't like it, I would still defend this film, because more like it need to exist.

4) Zombies on Broadway, by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness: Boy, there sure is a lot happening in every single second of this record! I'm sure this arena pop would play well in, y'know, an arena, but it doesn't make for the calmest listening experience. It's really hard to find the heart of these songs, to find something to which I can connect, because there's so much overgrowth through which I need to cut. Weird Chainsmokers-y electronic influence here, overdramatic Coldplay flourishes there, vocals always always at 100, it's all So Much. I know there's a lot of heart here, this is a name I have trusted since I was a kid, but this album is so disorienting, I can’t even tell where to begin looking for that heart.

5) Can You Hear Us Now? by Halocene: oh sure yeah probably a lot of merit in evaluating a six-year-old pop/punk album On the plus side, because 2011 is one of those years where I was still committed to buying music instead of paying a flat monthly fee to have everything all the time forever but also was incredibly poor, this currently ranks as one of my Top 10 albums of 2011! Congratulations! I could see 2011 Bob touting the virtues of this album, though, there's a lot of charm, a lot of potential, enough cool things happening I'd be stoked to hear a full album of Halocene originals in 2017. But yeah I'm only here to say, hey, this is one of the albums I listened to this week, but I'm not gonna go all in on a debut album from 2011 because why, like yay active listening never stop thinking and all that, but what good would putting opinions on this into the world do anyone. What good have any of our opinions done, if we're being perfectly frank. Can You Hear Us Now? is the early front-runner for the title of "Most Innocuous Thing to Send Bob! Into an Existential Tailspin" for 2017.

6) The Age of Spin, by Dave Chappelle: BOY AM I OUTTA MY DEPTH WITH THIS ONE Like I thought it was kind of unfocused, but that's to be expected, it'd been years since Chappelle had to structure an hour of stand-up. I think Chappelle knows that, at this point, the mythology surrounding him is what people want him to talk about, and he's at his best here when he follows that arrow. When he's not talking about his own celebrity, the special falls flat; bits offering social commentary don’t hit, because they're the opinions everyone expects a 40+-year-old comic who was, literally, out of touch for several years to have, and they feel perfunctory, like Chappelle knows he doesn't have anything worthwhile to say about transsexuals, but he has to say it because people expect him to comment on the state of the world in 2017. But the bits about him -- bombing so hard in Detroit it goes viral, meeting OJ Simpson, his relationship with Kevin Hart ("That was a surprise to me. He charges $125 a ticket? I only charge $80!"), reconciling what Bill Cosby means to him with who Bill Cosby is, they're so good, well worth wading through clumsy throwaway jokes. It's not Chappelle at his best, but it's Chappelle.

7) After the Party, by The Menzingers: Punk is sort of becoming the millennial country, listen I know that's a bad sentence but you see it's a sentence I thought and I need on the record all the terrible things I think so that you may paint an accurate and complete picture of who I am and I’m making myself own it, punk is the millennial country! There's a lot of dope country artists, but even the good ones are still making music about being farmers and drinking whiskey. Punk music is in this groove where there's so many bands talking about issues people might actually be going through. This album references having useless college degrees, working at a job that doesn't guarantee hours, still sitting in basements getting high in your 30s, meeting up with an old friend who got their life together and remembering a youth spent sneaking out of church, seeing the foreclosure sign outside your childhood home, it's as country as anything can be while being so about city life. It's an album about what the new working class goes through. The band is thinking The Hold Steady and Springsteen, and of course they are, but albums like this are what can help bridge the gap between the Real America crowd and those goddamned millennials.

8) Beauty & the Beast (2017), dir. Bill Condon: So like my problem with these movies is, and this is prolly just me and I'm cool with that, I get that they're wondrous experiences, but I can never stop thinking about an actor sitting in the middle of a wide expanse of green, reacting to nothing. It's one of the reasons why I stopped watching Game of Thrones despite knowing some of it is filled on location, and it's what removed me from this film, watching the "Be Our Guest" sequence and thinking "she's looking at a marker" every time they cut to Emma Watson laughing. I'm never going to understand why these films try to split CGI and live-action down the middle, but a lot of people evidently dig it, so clearly the problem is with BIG FANCY BOB, WHO LISTENS TO FILM PODCASTS AND THINKS HE CAN HAVE OPINIONS. BAD OPINION BOY, THAT'S WHAT BOB STANDS FOR. Also, for all the talk of how gay this movie was, this movie wasn't nearly gay enough. It could have been, like, three times as gay, and it still wouldn't have been gay enough, that's how straight this movie was. ("What amount of gay would've been right?") I don't know, I would have had to have been involved with the editing process, this is sort of a "say when" situation.

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mightbedamian · 8 years

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#TMIishTuesday #43 - 16 Things I learned in 2016

No more "first off"s anymore! It's 2017. It's Tuesday. It's #TMIishTuesday. Go! Hey there mighty people of the internet! And welcome to issue #43 of #TMIishTuesday - my weekly Tumblr post about what goes through my mind and what you guys want to know more about. It can be something very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless - but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well. Last week I went quite cliché by posting my new year's resolutions as my last post of 2016. Addition to my 5 resolutions from last week: 6. Use after-shave every day. I haven't for a while. For which reason?? Also: So far I haven't failed any resolution. I mean… It wasn't too hard, but still. Kind of proud. :D Okay, and guess what follows on a cliché post!? Another cliché post! First post of 2017. What better time to reflect on 2016? Yeey, I'm so creative! :P But you know me. If you are expecting a break-down of political events, you might need to look somewhere else. I'm sure the BBC, NBC, or ARD have made enough "year in review" broadcasts to fill an entire year. No, THIS is a reflection of some of the events that - I figured out in 2016, - I learned I in 2016, - I achieved in 2016, - have moved me in 2016, or - simply have made my 2016. Ready? Let's see, if we can make it to 16 things. 1. It's okay to be gay! At the start of 2016 I came out to basically anybody, who knows. The only exception being my best friend. That was in December 2015 already. But in 2016 I told another very close friend (who might also be reading this. Hi there!), my parents, and the parents of my two best friends. Every single one of them has been absolutely supporting. Thanks to all of you guys! <3 2. Bosses can be assholes! Don't get me wrong: I've had three jobs last year and only one boss was an asshole. But this dude. Wow! I applied for a job to do in the period between Christmas and my new study that started in August. Among others, I applied at a call centre. Not the most satisfying job, but decent enough. It was all about getting working experience anyways. But this dude ordered me 4, 5, 6 times to do 1-2 hours of calls under his supervision saying that I was very close to getting the job all the time. All of that lasted from mid January to mid February. Then he said we should schedule yet another meeting and that he would email me a date for the following week. I was already really fed up with him and the entire place. And he didn't message me. When I emailed him half-way through the following week, he replied that they had no more interest in me. That was such a kick in the face! I basically worked my ass off for them and was then fired. I had no contract or anything, but still. I feel like they betrayed me for 150-200 euros there. So that was an experience… 3. Having help in looking for a job is crucial! I applied loads for the apprenticeship that I started last August. 40, 50 letters for sure. By mid-January a friend of my parents, who had heard I was looking for one, approached me: Hey, so, I heard that this rehabilitation clinic is looking for an apprentice still. I'm cool with their Vice CEO. You could tell them I sent you and just try your luck. At the end of February I had an interview there - and after doing a one-week internship I received a call saying I could start there in summer. WOOHOO! 4. Being a cashier can be awesome! After I had been "fired" (if you want so), I felt let down, discouraged. But I wanted to work really badly. Sitting at home doing nothing really felt bad. So I applied as a cashier at the supermarket closest to my parents' (where I had moved back in). And I got the job. Worked 4-6 hours a day, 6 days a week. Having basically no weekend (when you work late shifts on Saturday and early shifts on Monday) really sucks, but it pays just like any other job you can do without a study. Not having to pay any rent, I made quite some money. And it was really fun as well! It's a massive supermarket and there are lots of returning customers - also from the surrounding area. Not just the city itself. It's quite a cool store tbh :P And my colleagues were really cool as well. On New Year's Eve I went there for the first time since leaving for a different city. Just walking through those sliding doors I felt "at home". Such cool people! I kind of miss that place. In a way... 5. Tumblr is cool! These past days I realised how Tumblr played a big role in my coming out process. I never really was aware of its influence. But in Summer (or so) 2015, half a year before coming out, I created this account and followed some blogs posting cute guys. That was the first hint, I guess? In 2016 I continued scrolling through these posts and got waaay more into it. Not only did I start writing texts that I posted on Tumblr, but the amount of time I spent scrolling and browsing just increased a lot. And I like it. Oh, and I posted my coming out story to have it written down somewhere where I can read it any time I want to - and yet hidden from friends. Great decision! I wouldn't remember it as well, if I hadn't put it there. And look what has developed from this all! I write a ton of stuff about stuff that matters to me. Every week. And I did 21 posts of #mightyadvent as well. I love it! Thanks for reading my ramblings, guys! 6. Coming out videos are great and the world is not binary! This is something that is probably also valid even more for December 2015, but: I freaking LOVE coming out videos. Recently I've been way too busy and haven't watched one in probably a month or so. But until May or June I probably watched EVERY coming out video that was uploaded to YouTube. Just to get a feeling of how my coming out had gone. And because I wanted to hear other people's stories. There is a huge mixture of reactions out there. People getting disinherited or getting hit. People with indifferent parents. People who got very loving responses telling them they supported them the way they are. I was lucky enough here. While I knew that there is more than just - male/female for gender and - hetero/gay for sexual orientations, I never really knew what else there was. Like, what exactly is there beyond the binary? Then I started watching all those coming out videos. And I stumbled across people identifying as all kinds of genders and sexual orientations. Even if some were trolls (remember the guy who came out as playing Minecraft? F*ing bastard! Sorry, I shouldn't call people this, but he deserves it), I saw LOADS of real, sometimes very inspiring videos, and stories that just make you go "awwww". Anyway, I'm drifting off again. What I wanted to say here is: I learned that there are more than two genders and more than two sexual orientations. I knew that transsexuality existed, but never had an idea what people felt like going through it. And I now know a lot about asexuality or pansexuality as well. 7. Twitter is queer, too! In the summer I somehow stumbled across VollzeitJonas's Twitter. He must have replied to some YouTuber's tweet or so. Anyway, I followed his account and thereby truly boosted my experience. By him posting some stuff and retweeting lots and lots on LGBTQ+ issues, I began to discover the topics as well. I found queer.de, a wonderful German news website that focuses on news on LGBTQ+ issues. And I found dbna.de, a site for gay youth. Dating website, community, forum, tips - it's all on there. From Jonas's Twitter account it basically just evolved over time. I interacted with him and others, who follow him and by now I follow some more cool peeps. I like that! 8. Living on your own rocks! Yeah… I moved twice this year. From the students' house in the Netherlands I had lived in for the past 4.5 years to my parents' house (in February) and then to the place I live now. And I'm really living on my own for the first time. It took some money to get all the stuff needed to fill an entire apartment. And I basically spent all the money I had earned over the 4.5 months before as a cashier. But: It was worth it. I really like my interior. It also took some time to get used to all the stuff you have to do when living on your own entirely - with no flat mates. Not owning a dish washer, cleaning everything on your own, cooking on your own… You name it. But it certainly offers some advantages as well. 9. Work can be a positive thing, too! When I started the apprenticeship in August I was quite scared. How would I be able to cope with working 40 hours a week and having to study for school at the same time. It was quite hard to get used to, to be honest. But I figured out I don't have to study tooooo much for school. My study pays off. At times I feel like the most difficult thing is constantly translating from English to German cause I studied in English. Work itself is quite interesting. Different tasks and while it gets a little boring at times, most of the times there's more to be done. And they try to assign me different tasks so I don't get too bored. That's cool. Also I have - like at the supermarket - very lovely and caring colleagues. One tiny downside: There's only one guy my age there. And I think he has a girlfriend. :/ And for the "boring" stuff there's a positive news too: I'll get to see a different department in two weeks, so a little more variety to come. I enjoy working full time cause I can see what I am doing this for already. That's cool! However I should have taken a few days off work before Christmas. I did like 95 % of my Christmas shopping the afternoon before. Oops. 10. A car can save lives! Or well… Let's say it can improve the quality of life. I got a car a month after I started the apprenticeship. It's 15 years old. But you know… as long as it keeps going… Plus it's my first car. Oh and by going by car I save about 4 hours a week on travelling time. And some money as well. Sounds weird, but makes sense once you realise that a month ticket for the train is more expensive than day tickets for me cause I only work three days a week. The other two are school which is located in the city I live. And the car also proved very useful for visiting a friend in the Netherlands. He doesn't live in the place I studied at anymore, but moved further west to Apeldoorn, meaning it was a two-hour drive for his birthday. By train it would have been 3 hours - which I probably then wouldn't have done. And it was about the same price to go. Trains are f*ing expensive! 11. Travelling is the world to me! I didn't go on a long holiday in 2016, but did several weekend trips. In May I went to visit a friend in Denmark with the mates from my Dutch table tennis club. Had the greatest time there! Three days of talks, catch-ups, table tennis, a cool city (Århus), amazing weather - to say I enjoyed my time there would be a big understatement! Side note: That is now the most Northern spot I've been to. I told you about my trip to Apeldoorn already where we had a great time as well. Even if it was only about 15 hours. And I pretty much just got back from the last highlight of 2016: I visited a very good friend in Belgium. First time I went to Belgium. Or well… I crossed it on the way to Orléans as a third-grader. That doesn't count, does it? Anyway, Belgium was really fun! Being with my two best friends is always perfect. And exploring a city I have wanted to visit for a long time, makes it even better: We went to Brussels for an entire day and explored the city of Leuven for the other day. Really cool - both cities! Want to go again! Have no trips planned for this year, but could imagine visiting my Danish friend again - and who knows what else. 12. Online dating is hard! I don't know whether I mentioned this on here and I certainly didn't "offline". But I'm sure there's a tweet about this. In October or so I got inspired by VollzeitJonas and others and created an account on that gay online dating platform. After some browsing I got a message from a guy, who was looking to meet people. And I replied politely and thought I'd give it a try. But that's just as exams started at school and I had several other "big projects" in this thing called "real life" and I felt I wasn't quite ready to invest that much energy at the time. That's why it kinda just ended after one message. Sad story. But totally not his fault. I think I should give this whole online dating thing a go again. See my new year's resolutions, btw. [/shameless self-promo] 13. I can still feel the Pulse! This is probably the most grief I've felt this year. I woke up some Sunday in June to the news of Orlando. It was early morning over there when a "man" (should we call him "man", if he's that cruel?) entered Pulse club. One of the more popular gay clubs in the city. And now probably all LGBTQ+ around the world know the club. For a very sad reason: That man didn't just enter the club. He fired into the crowd trying to assassinate as many as possible. 49 didn't make it out alive, 53 more were wounded. Most of the people at the party were of Hispanic background cause the club was holding a Latin night. That much for the motive of the perpetrator and the description of what happened. Learning about the events in the morning on Twitter just twisted my stomach. It was the first major LGBTQ+ hate crime I heard of after discovering my own sexuality. I follow several LGBTQ+ folks on Twitter, so the message spread to me rather quickly. I realised how much of a deal this was when I saw so that basically any LGBTQ+ I follow on Twitter posted about it. Sheer madness. I had just become more proactive and had just fully accepted myself as gay - and then THAT happened. Writing about this still makes my fists clench. R.I.P. to all 49. 14. Terror is here! December - the time of the year most people here in Germany get excited for Christmas. And we have those cute little Christmas markets. You can get glühwein there and fries and lots of (let's face it: pretty useless) self-made stuff. The booths are lit up with chains of light and everyone is just letting go of the stress that tends to tension the atmosphere around that time of the year. A very famous Christmas market is the one in front of Berlin's Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church which itself is one of the must-see places as a tourist. And then there was the man who would kill 11 and injure 55 more when he drove a truck into that very Christmas market on 19 December. I - again - read about it first on Twitter. At first I thought it was just an accident and didn't really bother too much, skipping the messages in my timeline and scrolling on. But after an hour or so I thought it was about time to check what really was going on in Berlin. It was only then when I realised how bad things really were. We had our first successful terrorist attack in Germany. R.I.P. to the victims! 15. Prejudice sucks! Remember New Year's Eve 2015? Lots of people were sexually assaulted right next to the famous Dom cathedral in Cologne. Potentially by men "of North African appearance" (that's what Police said). And there was an outcry in the entire country for how ruthless "all the immigrants" were. What they forgot - like so many times before and after the incident - is that a group of 5-50 people is not "all immigrants". But that's a different story I could rant over for an entire #TMIishTuesday post. What also was part of the outcry was how not-present Police were during that night. How was it possible that so many ladies were assaulted in public and Police didn't notice? No one really knew the answer. Lesson of these events: More police will be present at big public events. The results? Well… New Year's Eve 2016. Cologne again. More police is present. The square in front of the Dom is closed. And we still get news. News that make me wanna puke again. Why? Apparently police checked kinda any non-white person thoroughly, while not checking white people (or not checking them that much). That's prejudice. If not racism. And no debate about this: Police being accused of being racist is an absolute no-go! And that should make them think. For heaven's sake, why can't we just have a great time on New Year's Eve? 16. Chocolate cereal likes to play hard to get! I want to end this on a lighter note, so: In 2016 I discovered that my beloved chocolate cereal really is hard to get hold of. The best deal is certainly at the Aldi (thanks for not sponsoring this post, Aldi!). Problem here: People know that. And in each batch there are like 12 (?) boxes of different types of cereals, but only one box is chocolate cereal. And guess who went to the Aldi a good few times just to get cereal and ended up NOT getting it because there were like 5 batches of cereal in the shelves, but all chocolate cereal was gone? Yepp. This guy. Sad times! 17. Thank you! Finally I'd like to say thank you to all the lovely people who made this year as great as it has been: - My friends from my hometown: Stephan, Lukas, Ago, Dennis, Katja, Linus, Desiree, Tomas - My "Dutch" friends, who are not all Dutch: Marc, Linda, Laura, Christina, Martijn, Rik, Danny, Mette, Cédric, Annelies, Abhishta, Wouter, Menno, Celestine, and the rest of my table tennis club - My friends from the new town: Jenny, Florentin, Juliet, Linda, Marina, Katharina, Lina, Dana, and the rest of my class - My parents and family - and so many I probably have missed on this list. Also thanks to loads YouTubers: - Those that showed me that queer is cool: Ash Hardell, Ricky Dillon, Connor Franta, Calum McSwiggan, ItsColeslaw, Troye Sivan, Hannah Hart, Chandler 'N Wilson, Sam Collins, Courtney-Jai - Special shoutout to those who I witnessed coming out this year: Ricky Dillon and ItsColeslaw - Those whose vlogs up my day: Marzbar, Ben, Oskar, Felix von der Laden, Ben Brown, George Benson, izzi, FunForLouis - The German Minecraft gamers out there: skate702, CubePlayTV, Herr Bergmann (plus teams #unfazbar, #Destilay and #Vibe for their great #VARO4 videos) - The rest, who just don't fit a category, but make THE BEST content: Julien Bam, Applewar, Mikey Murphy Finally thanks to the lovely Twitter folks: - VollzeitJonas, XLucamiraX, _FlexiHD_, achojo, Hennddrik, jsnjgr Wow! This has become such a long post! I feel like it's the longest I ever posted! :O That was totally not the intention. And it turned out a little more seriously than I initially planned. But that's fine. That's just a representation of my life. That's been my 2016! Hope you liked it. I certainly did! What did you achieve in 2016? I wanna know. Let me know by placing a comment, tweeting me, dming me, or what else you can think of - you know the means to get to me. As always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any questions in the meantime, just ask away. Whatever you’re curious about - I don’t bite. :) Also: Poll to determine next week’s topic will be up on Twitter on Sunday afternoon. Until then: Stay mighty! Oh, and here’s some self-promo: - Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/155176055527/tmiishtuesday-42-new-years-resolutions - More #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi - Poll to decide next week's topic and more very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian - Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com

#tmi #me #mightbevlog

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virginiamurrayblog · 6 years

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Teenage Boys Are Slaying The Makeup Game—And I’m Salty

Photo illustration: Ka Lee and Joel Louzado

Whenever I walked into a drugstore as a teenager, I would always feel the hairs on my neck raise as I passed the forbidden land: The Makeup Aisle. All the different brands and products were *so* overwhelming, and also totally intriguing. But as a young, Indo-Canadian man who wasn’t publicly out yet, I didn’t feel like I could partake in its mysteries. Until I moved out for school, that is. By then, I felt less restricted by judgemental high school peers and watchful family members, so I decided that my getting-cute routine could consist of more than just moisturizer. I told my girlfriends that I wanted to buy a concealer, news that prompted immediate screams of excitement. We drove to the nearest drugstore, and they each made their case for which brand I should buy. (None of their picks had options dark enough for me to use, but that’s another issue). I chose one that seemed close enough to my skin tone and left before anyone else I knew spotted me. I felt quite insecure and anxious that day, but little did I know that crusty little concealer would open up a whole world of self-exploration.

Three years after that fateful Shoppers adventure, men are taking up a larger place in the world of makeup. Social media is full of young male gurus, like James Charles or Manny Gutierrez, who feel confident enough to express themselves using makeup. But while seeing them genuinely makes me happy, when I scroll past 10-year-old instabaddies and 15-year-old beauty bloggers, I’m also faced with this overwhelming feeling of jealousy. It’s more than just being envious of someone who has achieved success at a young age—it’s that I can’t help but wish I had that much confidence (and support) when I was that age.

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Even though my parents know about my makeup and sexuality, I still can’t wear lipstick in front of them without feeling embarrassed

It took time before I felt ready to rock makeup as openly as Miles Jai. Being a teenager is tough, but being a teenager who’s also gay and Indian came with another set of challenges. Homosexuality is still illegal in India, which has a large impact on the way that Indian people, even in the diaspora, view men. Not only is homophobia rampant and common, but older straight men project their toxic masculinity onto their descendants. Just having my relatives chirp me for choosing arts over sports was enough to scare me from makeup and anything deemed even relatively “girly.”

That’s partially why, when I see white boys who are makeup artists, I see a lot of other things in addition to their outstanding talent.

And even when I did start buying makeup and experimenting with different looks, I still worried about what my family would think—especially when I moved back home after first year to save some coin. After a year of wearing makeup openly, it became something done exclusively at night, when everyone was asleep. Taking pictures of my makeup and later posting them on Instagram (where most of my family was blocked, thank you) was the one thing that kept me from feeling less frustrated and alone.

A post shared by joel (@joellouzado) on Aug 20, 2018 at 3:30pm PDT

Wearing makeup as a man feels like an open invitation for people to judge my sexuality

Clearly, as far as we’ve come, many straight men are still not comfortable with other men expressing themselves in traditionally feminine ways. Although I came out to my family and close friends by the time I was 15 or 16, I wasn’t publicly out until I was in my last year of high school. So, wearing makeup before that would have amounted to raising a question that I wasn’t even comfortable answering for myself. Maybe my jealousy stems from not being able to be true to myself at that early an age? I robbed myself of any opportunity of trying anything in makeup, because I was scared that I would be seen as gay before I was ready for the world to know.

A post shared by Kevin Kodra (@kevikodra) on Apr 30, 2018 at 4:48pm PDT

I need to focus this negative energy into more positive change

please show him this picture and/or my insta page. it wouldve changed my life as a child to have seen another brown boy expressing himself. this story made me super happy pic.twitter.com/Z04vFfKTFA

— joel (@joellouzado) June 20, 2018

Ultimately, I’ve realized that this feeling of jealousy is counterproductive to why I started exploring makeup in the first place. It turns out that my saltiness is not with these teenage white boys themselves. It’s with the media that positions them as heroes, failing to realize that they are *still* only talking about white men. I think we still have a long way to go before all men of colour feel as free to express themselves as I do. And who knows, maybe down the road, even straight men can feel confident to pop on some makeup. I take pride in the fact that just by putting on some mascara, I’m making a political statement. It would make me so happy if little brown boys in the future could feel nothing but pride when they’re putting on mascara, too.

The post Teenage Boys Are Slaying The Makeup Game—And I’m Salty appeared first on Flare.

Teenage Boys Are Slaying The Makeup Game—And I’m Salty published first on https://wholesalescarvescity.tumblr.com/

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