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#because i can Not have my own actual art on my body forever
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day 107
thinking about putting this guy on my body permanently. as a treat.
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vasquez-rocks · 5 months
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i know most ppl haven’t seen it yet but wanted to write something abt how annoyed some of the critical discourse abt I Saw the TV Glow is making me. MAJOR SPOILERS below the break, be warned!!
so idk i’ve seen so many reviews of the film positing that it’s about the dangers of obsessive fandom and overidentification with fictional characters, esp vis a vis real life self-actualization/coming out. (like, essentially every review has some of this in it, from what i’ve seen.) and, like: i don’t think that’s wrong, but i also think it’s massively underselling what schoenbrun is doing here. the metaphor of the show’s bleed-over is so smart because works in both directions at once.
like, in one direction: when maddy asks owen to come into the show by burying himself alive, you can read it as her asking him to abandon his real-life responsibilities, and the material facts of his real life body, in favor of a fantasy life where everything is already fixed. she’s inviting him to skip over the hard, messy work of transitioning and to sink even deeper into the analgesic obsessions he uses to numb his dysphoria. in this interpretation, it’s, like, the equivalent of overprioritizing “transition goals” instead of actually medically/legally/socially transitioning if that’s what you want, living forever in the ideal instead of taking difficult steps to change the material. (also, uh, if you don’t think she’s literally correct about the nature of reality, she is in fact asking him to kill himself. there’s that.)
BUT! it also works the other way. when maddy tells owen that the show is real, that their lives are just the buried dreams of dying girls in another life, she terrifies him by confronting him with something he’s always known about himself: he was supposed to be a girl. what she proposes is radical, dangerous, seemingly unhinged, and based on a childish fixation: all the things scared closeted trans people worry transition is, basically. on a more figurative level, too, the feeling she’s telling owen is real – that his real life is just a dream within a dream, that his home is not his home, that he belongs somewhere else, that he is supposed to be SOMEONE else – is something so, so, so many closeted trans people have felt before, myself so much included. when he sobs in the shower, yelling “this isn’t my home!” at his dad, i felt a sense of identification stronger than i’ve almost ever gotten from art before. when maddy finally calls him isabel, it’s the gentlest thing i can imagine.
in this read – which i do love, while thinking the other one is simultaneously true – it’s less “come sink deeper into delusion with me instead of dealing with your own life” and more “it’s going to be terrifying, but that childish dream of being a girl you once held wasn’t childish, and it can be real if you’re courageous enough.” he says he runs away from the football field because he thinks maddy’s not mentally well; it takes very little analysis of subtext to figure out he’s running away because he’s afraid of how much he wants what she’s offering. and, of course, the idea of the visible world being an illusion laid atop the world in which one is one’s truest self is a classic trope of trans cinema going all the way back to the matrix. (also: while i’m pretty death-of-the-author-pilled in most media analysis, it kinda seems like schoenbrun themself has interpreted the film in this way, as they’ve spoken at length in interviews about how, to them, transition felt like asking to be buried alive.)
all of which is to say: i think the film IS commenting on fandom, obsession, overidentification, and the ease with which queer people can sink into art as a way to dissociate from real life. but i think it makes the film so much more cynical and so much less tender to treat it as the ONLY read of the film’s relationship with the pink opaque. art, especially the sort of slow, metaphor-laden art schoenbrun makes, is best when it is complex and productively contradictory. the pink opaque is a problem, and an escape, and a fantasy, and it’s real, and one day isabel is going to wake up.
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heartcereql · 4 months
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heaven is a place on earth with you
art donaldson x fem!reader || soft moments in your fresh new home
cw: smoking, minor cursing, no use of y/n (1240 words) a/n: writing about my sweet baby art during finals bc why not
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you swore you could have stayed like this forever. tangled in silky bedsheets, soft rays of light that tingled on your face, body pressed against art's. one of those moments you wished you could pause and settle in for an eternity.
the mattress was on the floor, and cardboard boxes were scattered all around your apartment. your apartment. it felt blissful to say it. a life awaited you there, between the beige and baby blue walls that screamed for another hand of paint. it was far from the ideal, but it was perfect because it was yours. art's and your world. didn't it sound so pretty?
you looked over at him. eyes closed, lips slightly parted, his head a blond mess of curls and his skin warm despite the moring breeze that slipped inside the room through the opened balcony. art looked otherworldly. he always did, in your eyes. and you felt like the luckiest woman on earth with him, because he looked at you, because he touched you, because he loved you. because he felt for you what you felt with him.
and you two were fucking living together. the thought was enough to bloom a grin on your lips. a pure, joyful smile that made you want to jump and dance all around. pressing a feather-like kiss to his temple, you sat up, careful to untangle yourself from his arms and slinging over one of his standford t-shirts.
you reached over to your bedside table- well, the brown leather suitcase on which you had left some stuff. a provisional nightstand, let's leave it at that. you took a cigarette out of the box, holding it between your lips as you grabbed the lighter and your sketchbook and pencil.
the cool air of the early morning greeted you as you stepped out onto the balcony, goosebumps appearing all over your skin. you lit the cigarette with the pink lighter art had gifted you on your fourth date, all that time ago, when you mentioned you kept losing all your lighters. it was safe to say you'd kept this one. it had fake rhinestones forming your initial on one side. you recalled thanking art with a very excited hug and an even more excited peck.
"you made it?" you had ask him, the glint in your big eyes almost matching the glimmer of the rhinestones under the streetlamp. when art nodded, you gushed, hugging him again. "it's beautiful, art, i love it."
"i'm so glad," he smiled. you looked ethereal, all the eagerness painted on your face, cheeks rosy from the cold, babbling about how sweet you found it.
"hey, do you have any more rhinestones left?" you asked.
"yeah, yeah, here," he handed you the stickers, watching you start putting some more on the other side of the lighter. "what are you-"
but he was shut as he guessed the shape of his own initial, a very shimmering 'A'. once finished, you showed it to him proudly.
you both broke into laughter, cheeks flushed and hurting from the smiles, but it didn't matter. not when you felt so safe around him. and certainly not when he pulled you in for a kiss.
taking another drag of the cigarette, you traced your fingertips against the initials on the lighter. call it luck or fate or whatever, but none of the rhinestones had ever unstuck from where you both had originally placed them.
you sat on the beach chair that you'd placed on the balcony last night, before getting trapped between art's arms and lips, and getting lost in him. tipping the ashes off of the end of the cigarette, you opened the sketchbook. it was actually another of art's little thoughtful gifts that he loved to give you, and you loved to receive.
on the first page of it was a sweet little dedication art had written.
'for my angel girl, so you can be an artist and carry me always with you (get it? because i'm ART and you're an ARTist? so funny, i know.) love you forever baby <3'
it always made you smile when you read it, and reach over to kiss him for no apparent reason, leaving him a curious, flushed mess.
on the page you were currently at, there were some seashell doodles from your last trip to the beach. art had picked them out for you, and peered through the whole process with his head resting on your shoulder. beneath the collection of seashells was a watercolor drawing of art's beautiful, dual colored eyes, and a little sketch of a couple of figs.
looking over, your eyes settled on the pastel colored laundry your neighbors in front had hanging and swaying lightly with the dawning breeze.
your traces were fast but precise. soon, the laundry was replicated under your pencil. shirts and pants and socks and even a bra. the cigarette dangled from your lip, forgotten amidst your concentration.
you were so absorbed in drawing little daisies on the socks you didn't hear the sheets rustling as art stirred awake, or his soft footsteps as he approached you. thus, when you heard his voice, you were startled for a second.
"hey, artist."
you turned to him, eyes big. the movement was so sudden the cigarette fell to the floor.
"hey, art," you smiled, setting down the sketchbook and pencil and standing up to greet him.
his hands were on your waist in no time, pulling you in for a kiss. you nuzzled your head onto the warmth of his chest, running your hands on his back.
"morning," you looked up to him. art smiled. god, that smile. it drove you crazy, made you weak at the knees. your soft fingertips drove up to trace his smile lines, trailing down to his jaw in no time.
he tucked some strand of hair behind your ears, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "were you drawing?" art asked, spinning you around so you both faced the view, his arms around your waist.
the sky was not fully blue yet; pink and purple hues shining over the horizon.
"mhm," you hummed. "i want to colour it later, will you help me?"
"of course, baby," he mumbled, pressing kisses to your cheek.
it was something silly you two did sometimes. after pouring you both some coffee (you made it for art the way he liked, as he prepared yours as he'd learnt from several coffee dates), you'd pull out some colour pencils or sharpies and paint the little doodles you had drawn.
"hey," art whispered. "we live together."
you smiled. "yeah, we do. it's perfect."
art huffed at that. "the walls are on the verge of falling apart. and the people from the bar downstairs were noisy as fuck. and the shower-"
"shut up," you playfully hit his arm, rolling around again to face him once more. "it's you and i. sounds perfect to me."
he gifted you another smile. "you're right. it's ours. that's more than enough."
was this your own personal heaven? you found yourself thinking that often, as you got lost in his always tender eyes, or the sound of your laughters together, or the tingles he left on your skin, or the way you loved each other. as he lifted you up and carried you inside for your first breakfast at your place, you were sure of the answer. yeah, of fucking course it was.
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© heartcereql, 2024 || thank you for reading ! 𓆩 ♱ 𓆪
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euovennia · 2 years
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oh oh - and if it’s not too much trouble to ask, an addition to mom/dad friend simon, maybe another hc where reader takes a bullet for him and he’s like "why would you do that" and she’s all like "because your my friend" and he’s like "🥹" rubbing my hands together deviously
so for anyone new, this post is a continuation of this request, but it can be read as a stand alone if you so choose! i will say simon may be a bit ooc but you've already been besties forever so it's fine. thank you to the anon who requested this, i hope i did it justice. now please, enjoy <3
so by this point it's become well established that you and simon are pretty much a package deal
one can never be seen without the other trailing too far behind
unless of course one of you (usually simon) is actually trying to do their job
but even then you both have a tendency to hover
well
the hovering is usually done by simon who will take it upon himself to sit somewhere in the same room as you while you work
but you're more direct in your approach
which basically means you have no hesitation in pulling up a chair and talking his ear off
depending on his mood/what he's working on he'll either slide something your way in hopes of distracting you into silence or he'll take part in your mindless chatter
it's usually the latter much to the annoyance of price whose come to notice that simon tends to submit his mission reports just a tad later than normal when you're around
but he doesn't dare say anything because he's just happy simon finally has someone to keep him company
even if it does mean him missing a deadline here and there
now with the amount of time you two spend around one another, there was the small concern that you two may become a bit more reckless on missions together
but honestly?
that couldn't have been farther from the truth
as much as you like messing around with simon, you're very aware that your line of work requires your full attention
so, despite how hard it can be at times, you limit your jokes and general shenanigans to the bare minimum so you can get the job done
and obviously it goes without saying that he does the same by shedding the name simon riley and becoming the infamous ghost
it was a bit startling for the team to witness this change at first
they honestly thought you two were mad at each other
but after the mission was said and done, you and simon started hanging out again and it just kinda clicked
simon probably uses you as an example to soap to be honest
anyway, point is
you both know how to keep your friendship out of the way in the field, you've practically mastered the art of it
but the moment you see him get into a knife fight with an enemy soldier on a mission, you can't help but worry
and you can't help the way your worry morphs into panic as you see a tiny red dot plant itself on his body as he finally drives his knife into the neck of the rival soldier
and you certainly can't help the way your feet seemingly begin to move on their own as you sprint toward ghost and practically ram him into the ground
and you most definitely can't help the yelp of pain that drops from your lips as you feel a searing hot pain rip through your lower abdomen
so much for those bullet proof vests
simon looks up from his position on the ground, knife in hand and ready to stab it into the poor soul dumb enough to tackle him like this
but then he sees you
he sees your face, eyes wide with shock and mouth agape
his eyes trail down your body and he swears his world nearly crashes as he stares at the dark red spot currently staining your shirt
he can only fear the faint sound of yet another gun going off before you're tumbling onto the ground
he snaps out of his daze to catch you and he can't help but feel horrified upon seeing another bullet wound lodged into your thigh
he can hold in his cry of agony and heartbreak as your breathing soon becomes labored and your eyes fill with tears
he gives your struggling form a once over before sucking in a sharp breath and dragging you to a nearby hill that was littered with enough rocks and boulders to offer shelter from the incoming storm of bullets
he settles your head onto his lap as he harshly barks out words you can't even begin to understand through the comms
you can barely register the way his hand gives your face a small smack
your eyes connect as he pulls a roll of gauze from his tactical backpack, "come on, kid. don't do this to me. just a bit longer."
even with the searing hot pain that was overruling all your other senses, you can't help but smile
you grab onto his inked forearm and he stops as he looks back at you, eyes wild and frantic
"hey simon?"
"what?"
"thanks for putting up with me."
your eyes begin to flutter open, a small hiss of discomfort escaping your mouth as you cringe at the bright overhead lights
you make a move to bring a hand up in front of your eyes to shield yourself form the harsh fluorescents, but stop your movements when the lights suddenly begin to dim
confused, you begin to look around the room only to see simon standing by a wooden door with his hand on what you assumed to be a light dimmer
he stares at you through the eye holes of his balaclava, "better?"
you offer him a nod paired with a small smile and open your mouth to offer your thanks but stop when he puts the lights back up to their full brightness causing you to let out a groan
you open your mouth once more to vocalize your complaints and throw a half-hearted insult his way, but stop when you hear the heavy footfall of simon's boots making their way over to your hospital bed
he comes to a stop by your bedside as he glares down at you, a swirl of emotions darkening his already hardened gaze
after giving your eyes a few moments to adjust he speaks, "you're the stupidest person i've ever fuckin' met."
your eyes widen as your jaw goes slack, "excuse me?"
he leans down and stops just a few inches short of your face, "i said you're stupid and i'd yank you off the field myself if i could."
you can feel your heart drop at his harsh tone but decide to soldier on, "you're in a good mood today, aren't ya?"
his eyes narrow and a growl of anger and frustration escape the lips hidden by his mask, "don't give me any of that shit, you know what you did."
you sigh, "i'm in a hospital bed, simon. i don't think i could've done any–"
you don't even get to finish your sentence before he's interrupting you, "why'd you do it?"
you stare up at him, confusion and annoyance evident on your face
"simon, what are y–"
he scoffs, "the fucking bullet! you took the fucking bullet! why'd you do that? what made you think that was a bloody good idea? do you have any fucking clue what you put this team – what you put me through?"
oh
right
your expression melts into one of sheepishness as you attempt to get in a word, but stop when simon decides to continue
"i had the situation handled, i could've taken care of myself! i'm smart, i'm capable, and i have years more experience than you do so tell me, i can handle myself! i don't need you steppin' in and throwin' yourself in front of bullets! you coulda fuckin' died!"
"simon–"
he points a finger in your face as he continues on with his rant, "no, you don't get to call me that, not anymore. from here on out, you either address me as ghost or lieutenant, nothing else until you can learn how to handle yourself on the field. we need soldiers, not daredevils. do you understand?"
you exhale, "no."
before he can continue with his angry tangent you sit up with a painful grimace and grab the pillow the pillow your head once rested upon and fling it at him
he narrowly dodges it and stares at you with a mix of rage and pure disbelief with a glare that practically screamed, "what the fuck."
hit block limit again. i'm afraid this may become a habit. anyway.
taking his silence as your cue to speak, you do just that, "okay fine, you're right. i probably shouldn't have tackled you down like that and taken a bullet for you, i probably should've remembered that you're a fully capable man with more experience than me, and i probably should've remembered that the field is no place to be playing favorites. you're right, i should've kept that all in mind but–"
you let out a small sigh as you avert your eyes to the think blanket draped over your body, "when i saw that gun pointed right at you i...i couldn't bring myself to care about any of that. at that moment, all i saw was you in danger and i couldn't have that so i did what i did. you can reprimand and punish me all you want for doing it, but i don't care. i stand by my actions."
simon eyes you for a few moments longer before grabbing onto a chair nearby and settling it beside your bed
you watch as he sits down with a small sigh, his eyes never leaving yours
"why?"
your brows knit together in confusion
"why what?"
"why'd you take a bullet–no, why'd you take two bullets for me? you and everyone else on this team know i could've handled it, so why?"
you frown, "because you're my friend, simon. why else?"
once those words leave your mouth, you're greeted with his blank ghost stare
again, he's just 👁️👁️
and you feel a small wave of concern wash over you
like
this is the same man who was torturing you with the bright fluorescent lights and lecturing you to hell just a few minutes ago and now he's just staring at you
still and silent as ever
you almost ask if he's okay, but stop yourself when he brings his large hand up to the edge of your hospital bed and begins inching it closer to yours before eventually resting it over yours
it's quiet for a few moments longer before he speaks in one of the quietest voices you've ever heard from him, "you took that bullet cause i'm your friend?"
you can't help but soften your own voice as you respond, "my best friend."
upon hearing you say that, simon can just feel the small well of tears that begin building up in his eyes
and as much as he wants to fight them off, he just can't
you, already being able to sense the internal war he's got going on inside his head, simply turn your hand so you can grip onto his and give it a firm squeeze
and by god he hates you for that
because now he can't help but disconnect your hands in favor of surging forward and wrapping his arms around you
you swear you can feel the small rumble of his shoulders as he tries and fails to conceal his quiet sniffles but you decide to overlook it because oh my god simon 'ghost' riley is crying in your arms and it's all your fault
so you decide it's best to just hold onto him as tight as you possibly can
he notices this and he just melts
what did he do to deserve you?
what overpowering force of life felt that he was good enough for the sunshine that is you?
who gave him the honor of being blessed with you?
he's not sure but quite frankly, he doesn't really care
not when you're holding onto him like your life depends on it
not when you pull back from the hug, look into his eyes, and offer him the brightest smile he's ever seen
and certainly not when you grab onto his hands and speak in that sweet honey voice of yours, "i'll always take a bullet for you. i can't lose you, simon."
jesus christ you're going to make his heart burst
he sucks in a small breath and squeezes onto your hands, "i can't lose you either, kid."
you only smile, "you won't, i'm always gonna be here with you."
words that once would've annoyed him to no end now set his cold heart alight
"you fuckin' better."
your smile widens and you lean forward to capture him in yet another hug
with his arms wrapped tightly around your body and you pressed up against him, he can't help but smile
it's definitely nice to have a friend
:)
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zoropookie · 4 months
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HOW HATERS ARE BORN (HHAB)
♡ chapter thirty-eight — why couldn't it be mini-golf? (💋)
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[[ALL WRITTEN CHAPTER]]
The dinner party was quiet for the first part.
But not the kind of quiet that would have made anyone into a bad type of uncomfortable. No, it was the kind of quiet that usually hangs heavy in the air with a clear path to stop it. But that path mentioned was definitely not going to be brought up anytime soon, nor even uttered.
The "path" being the eventual contemplation of both your and Kuni's relationship. Or..."relationship"? You had no idea. And frankly? You were too annoyed by Venti's chewing to even think about it right now.
There sat the bodies of Hu Tao, Thoma, Aether, Lumine, Heizou, Yanfei, Ayaka, Xiao, Kazuha, Venti, Kuni, and you at a very long table with what felt like it had no end in sight. Only sounds were the soft clinking of silverware against the china and the eventual murmur of someone to another. It was similar to faint ripples disturbing the surface of the pond.
Venti, seated next to you, was eating away with an unbothered look, feasting at his second dish of the hot pot with numerous amounts of meat. "Oh my god," He said with his mouth full, exaggerated smacks and crunches that seemed to echo louder than the previous ones, grating irritably on your nerves. "Brilliant. I mean, who came up with this?!"
"Been a thing for...forever, actually." Kuni's eyes dulled as he replied with the most unamused tone imaginable, swirling his chopsticks in the soup stock.
"Do you live under a rock?" Hu Tao's eyes narrowed, ever the lively one as she plopped a piece of well marinated pork in her mouth. "It's a common thing, not very new, dumbass."
"Ohhh, no. Don't go and try and make me look like the dumbass." Venti pointed. "Scara~ I know that you were too lazy to try and think of an actual dinner for us out of your busy schedule, but it really reminds me of how creative you can be anyway. I mean, a steamboat?! Your mind! Can I still call you Scara?"
"No." He replied flatly, not even looking up from his bowl.
"Where did you find this?" Venti marveled. "Genius invention, if I do say so myself. Like, watch this." And with that, he put the raw piece of beef inside of the boiling hot broth.
The beef had bubbled inside of the broth, cooking the meat almost instantly. The rich aroma was wafting throughout all of the visitor's nostrils, leaving a tempting bubble of juice that lightly coated the beef he pulled out, making your own mouth water despite your annoyance.
"You wanted to show us... you cooking meat?" Ayaka asked, her voice tinged in a genuine and curious way, wondering if there was an end confirmation to this. Unfortunately, there wasn't, and the rest of the table sighed.
"You know what guys, the art of cooking is lost on a lot of people, don't expect you to know about it. I wish that you could see how philosophical every thin slice that goes into your mouth is, but I'm not your own eyes." Venti threw his hands up in defense.
"Venti...when the pot is at a very high temperature, the meat inside of it usually tends to cook after a few seconds. That's how it works." Aether slowly told him, to which Hu Tao narrowed her eyes in a death-like stare.
"But what about the journey of that high temperature cooked meat?" Venti continued, his tone almost as philosophical as his aggravating chewing. "The laughs, the memories, the stories, preparing this meal together. That's...what makes this dinner more special than others. Our first."
"And our last." Kuni rolled his eyes, clearly unimpressed. "I didn't let you guys into my house just for him to give us a TED Talk on the importance of family time. Just eat the fucking food and save us the theatrics."
"There's no point, he's just going to keep at it." Yanfei sighed in defeat. "He knows what he did. This will never end as long as we're all alive."
"Yeh? What did I do that was that awful?" Venti raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a pout. "Because what I did do was put those two together at a dinner table right now. You're welcome, by the way." He poked the direction towards you and Kuni.
"He's got a point..." Thoma let out a small chuckle, gaze flicking to the both of you. "You're both being civil right now. Most times you'd just try to bite your tongue whenever you were around each other."
"That's so not true." You scoffed. "I'd say I was very civil. Me, at least. Can’t say the same about others."
"Yeah? Throwing me under the bus now?" Kuni shot you a withering glare. "You asked me out first, don't think I don't remember when we were about to get in the car."
"Hey, quick tip for when you're stuck in conversations you don't want to be in: being proactive helps. Being a fake flirt helps. Someone had to break the ice, and it wasn't going to be you." You shrugged.
"By flirting with me?"
"I mean, it got your attention, didn't it?" Hu Tao replied, leaning back in her chair. "You're smitten."
"I am not smitten. I have intense feelings that should be mutual." His eyebrow quirked up, a hint of amusement softening his features. No matter how defensive his tone was, he knew he couldn't believe anything he said. "You shouldn't be chastising me anyway. I already made myself clear before you got here that I hate the shady shit."
"And I made myself clearer that I didn’t want anything from you right now, no?" You retorted immediately, head shooting towards him with a glare, tone clipped and snippy. "You'd be smart not to bring it here."
Tension rose to a great extent as your words began to make everyone uncomfortable, with the exceeding silence and awkwardness that ruminated between you and Kuni. It was pretty much just the two of you that were giving off an aura like no other. Safe to say that even Venti's attempt of getting the both of them to ease up from what they eventually have to do was a failure.
You glanced at Venti after he began to start moaning despite this, and sighed inwardly. Only he of all people could manage to make eating a piece of meat sound like something else. You threw your chopsticks back on the table, it causing a metallic thud. "Alright. I think I'm done."
"I'm sorry that I'm trying to bring liveliness that you all lack right now. Why is so quiet anyway?" Venti asked, his eyes looking around at everyone's suddenly shifted demeanor.
"You shouldn't be encouraging Venti to be loud, Thoma." Lumine hesitated in her words, trying to disengage the situation. "Let's just do an exercise. We'll say something really nice about the person next to us, and if you have nothing to say, you're going to stay here and help Kuni pick apples as a summer job."
Heizou shot up immediately, slamming his hands down on the table. "I have nothing nice to say about anyone here. Fuck all of you."
"Fat fucking chance. Sit your ass back down." Kuni snarled.
Kazuha frowned, furrowed brow betraying his own confusion. "What did we do...?"
Lumine squinted at him, taken aback by his words before pressing her lips together. "You have to play the game first to decide that, jackass."
“Well, this game already isn’t very fun.” Heizou blurted, saltily sitting back down. “Easy enough for nobody to jump me here though, I’ll take all the compliments I can get.”
"I’m glad that Kazuha and Thoma are sitting next to you and not me.” Hu Tao’s eyes dulled. “I’d blow my brains out before I ever compliment a child trafficker.”
“Okay, good thing we’re not starting with you, then.” Lumine argued with the both of them. “Fuck,” She muttered under her breath, composing herself before she had to speak again. “Then, since you’re one of the last letters of the alphabet, You go first, Xiao.”
Xiao picked his head up, his sharp eyes scanning for the person next to him who just so happened to be Venti. “Oh,” He paused, the rest of the table waiting for his response as Venti excitedly bounced in his seat. “I don’t want to play.”
Venti’s shoulders dropped. “Are you kidding? C’mon, you can’t think of anything?”
“Said he doesn’t want to play, this is our group therapy dinner where consent is the Hail Mary. No compliments for you, too bad, so sad.” Hu Tao stuck her tongue out playfully.
“Your attitude right now is the main reason that one of these days you’re going to get scammed so bad by a pyramid scheme that you’re actually going to start believing the Tupperware you’re selling is valuable. It’s not. It never will be.” Venti squinted.
Hu Tao sat there for a minute, looking into the other’s eyes before scrunching her nose up. “Are you okay? That was extremely specific.”
The rest of the table was silent, until Lumine sighed quietly. “Okay…Xiao, can you at least try to come up with something so we can move on? You don’t have to do it again, this is just a one time thing.”
“I’m grateful,” Yanfei gritted her teeth inwardly. “Never thought I’d have to be genuine anytime soon. Why couldn’t it be mini golf?”
He let out a slow breath, clearly reluctant to even participate in this obviously forced exercise. The more he stalled, though, the longer it was going to take to ebb how uncomfortable it is. “Venti,” He began, voice steady but devoid of emotion. “Your music is very refined.”
Venti clutched at his own heart, making a sound like he just got punched in the gut. “I’ll take it. That’s so cute of you.”
“Yeah! This is a really good exercise for us! We haven’t gotten the time to really appreciate each other as friends.” Thoma smiled. “Go ahead, Venti! Say something nice about (Y/N)!”
“Right.” Venti turned his head to you, trying to fully grasp what he wanted to say. It left eye contact with him very unsettling. “Hm…no matter what happens to you, you’ve still proven that you deserve what you have. Keeping that energy lead you to many people wanting to be around you in result. You should be grateful for that.”
You couldn’t help but stiffen at his words, letting out a small smile tug at your mouth in return. “That really means a lot, Venti. Thank you.”
You took a minute to sink in Venti’s words before you slowly turned to the person who you dreaded giving a compliment to right now— Kuni sat there perfectly. His head rested gently on his head as he leaned against the table with his elbow.
“You…” You stammered on your words, trying to look in your mind for something, anything, you could say that wouldn’t compromise your position. But you knew that despite everything, you liked him a lot. He did prove that he was into you a long time ago, you just didn’t want to admit it. “I like…uh…”
You were unsure how to respond. And Kuni knew that too, so he took the lead. “I think you’re the only person who’s brought me joy in more than just a platonic situation. Being around you is something special to me, I’d rather it not go to waste fighting.”
Your eyebrows furrowed, wanting to look agitated, but his words were so genuine that you were put on the spot. You felt tears brimming up in your eyes in return, trying to hold your eyes open to shun them away, only resulting in them returning tenfold.
You quickly stood up from your seat, bitterness running down like waterfalls. “Excuse me.” You murmured, before rushing off to an undisclosed room.
The rest of the table was silent after that, looking around at each other awkwardly. From what was supposed to be a comfortable exercise turned into something entirely worse than expected. Especially since they all had a feeling that it would go wrong with you sitting next to him.
Kuni groaned, his head hanging and his back pressed firmly against the chair. “Fuck,” He drawled, feeling his patience wear thing. “So fucking annoying.”
“Go after them.” Thoma said amongst the quiet, a warm smile on his face. He knew that even though he wanted to go himself, there was someone who was planning to be with you for a very long time. “You’re good. We’ll all be here when you come back.”
Kuni hesitated, to which Kazuha smiled and nodded. “You said you had Mario Kart, right? We can just play that if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, fuck yeah!” Hu Tao was one of the first people to stand up, shooing Kuni off with her manicured hand. “Go. Bye! We’re going trashing on your expensive equipment for three hours.”
No matter how much he wanted to kick everyone out, he was given a small reminder as to how they’re the main reason why you haven’t given up on him. Unfortunately. So he didn’t say anything, leaving towards his bedroom, the same room he heard you lightly sobbing in.
The room both of you found yourselves in were dimly lit and a complete contrast from the kitchen. It was quiet, but the quiet here was different and heavy and thick— almost suffocating him. You sank down into a plush armchair sat in the corner of his room, sitting in silence with yourself until now.
You didn’t bother looking up to see who it was, you knew who it was. Kuni’s footsteps were light and soft enough to tell you that, he took the seat opposite you, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. You were forced to look at him.
He looked beautiful from up close, his features naturally pairing together with the rest of his face. His jawline a perfect structure, his eyes soft enough for you to stare into his violet pools. His hair light and feathery, strands of it sticking in small clusters.
“Tell me what’s going on.” He sat back, mustering up a mix of concern and patience on his face. “I already told you I’m not going to fight with you anymore.”
You wiped your eyes candidly, the back of your hand leaving residue of your tears. A hiccup broke your speech, “That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Your wetted eyelashes brushed against your cheeks as your eyes squeezed shut. “You’re too patient now.”
“Didn’t learn it in a night.” He absorbed your words like they were all that he was able to get in that moment. “I mean, I still have no idea why you came around even this quick. You don’t have a reason to stay by my side as much as I do for you.”
“Oh, of course. Because it’s always different for you. You’re still trying, just like you did when you hated me, it’s confusing. You’re so…fucking confusing.” You looked up again, meeting his eyes with defeat. He was going to be in your life whether it was a friend or a lover, and with the more days that pass with him in it, you start to feel yourself teeter back and forth. “You’re not going to give up, are you?” Your voice was weak.
His eyes never left your face, tentatively taking your hand in his. “I had to get used to the idea of potentially never seeing or talking to you again when I left.” He paused, sincerity striking his face, more of an intense look than usual. “I never want to go through that again so long as I owe it to you. It’s cowardice, and I’d rather face you myself.”
“When will you not owe it to me?” Your heart was hurting, beating faster than it could ever. “I never wanted you to be indebted to me, you did that because you felt guilty, so just squash it already.”
At every second he stayed quiet, the brighter it dawned on you his intentions. He wanted to be by your side as long as possible. “Then it’s all done,” You stared at the hand holding yours, his warmth and steady hands with his skin slightly bulging with his veins, a black ring on his middle finger. “No more games. No more pretenses,” He said calmly. “I want you. More than I wanted anything.”
“Yeah.” You said slowly, a sense of cautious hope blooming in your chest. “I think I kind of do too.”
Swallowing hard, you tried to gather your own sense of resolve here. But all that you were able to even think about was how close he was to you…and the fact that you wanted to suck his face off.
The silence this time was a comforting one, understanding of each other that was unspoken for. He leaned in close to your face, the heat of his breath slowly lingering on your skin, making you ache in a passion you’ve never felt before even when Childe was trying to pursue you.
“Can I?” He whispered.
The breath you had was swept away by his tantalizing voice, nodding slowly at his request. It wasn’t like the last time where the anger and frustration was taken out on the love they pressed into the kiss. No, this one felt a lot better than you ever would have imagined.
The kiss that followed with your words was fluffy at first, the meeting of lips that quickly grew deeper as the months and months of progress they put into their entire history together was no longer at its standstill anymore. His hands snaked across your body, also with an aching desire nestled in his chest.
He tasted amazing on your lips, and you pressed yourself against him in a swift movement, swapping seats gradually. You were dazed, if your eyes could have hearts in them, they would have already.
You didn’t recoil, or protest, or fight him every step of the way anymore. Your tongues danced together in a passionate tango, its foreign-like actions to you making your eyes bleary with love. You were melting into him, no matter how much you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction.
It looks like you have a lot more to explain to your fans than expected.
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previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next
YOU ARE on your way to being one of the hottest streamer in your nation at the moment, racking a monthly average of 10 million viewers, but something specific bothers you about it. you know that a lot of people hate you, but there's this one account. one account that's been following you since the early days of your career. they leave a flood of rude comments in your stream, your moderators banned each account they made, but they keep making more. you are at the end of your tether. but you are yet to find out that this persistent cockroach is none other than your friend's friend (and the only other streamer that's bigger than you), scaramouche.
taglist ♡ @thystarsshine @veekoko @gumickajolli @simonisferal @kamiboo
@justpeachyteastea @feiherp @pinkismyfavcolor @aether-darling @kunisnaomi
@keiiqq @mine-lu @featuredtofu @danhenglovebot @k4zushi
@kyon-cherri @b4tm4nn @iiinaurate @quacking-simp @auroratumbles
@kookiibun @ulquiorraswife @amvpk01 @simplysm1le @h3xi2g0n3
@alatusorrow @scaranthropy @mellowberrie @magica-ren @vernith
@kabukipookie @bananasquash @suqarlaced @dellalyra @lightyagamifan
@yourfavoritefreakyhan @heartsforseo @yomishen @pwushizz @swivy123
@strxwberryfetish @ibyobi @ashfrommars4 @chemiru @ainnofinway
@agaygothicmushroom @levianamor @dragontammerz @wth121 @lylovw
@morgyyyyyyy @lovemari @suniika @littlesliceofcheese @yumejo89
@liuaneee @franaby @tiddieshakeshownu @mimi3lover @kavineyah
@kittywagun (bold users means i'm having trouble tagging you)
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wiltkingart · 7 months
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as another fruity tguy i really REALLY love the way u draw men so so much i see your work and i feel warm from head to toe cause you make trans men so beautiful. i can feel in every work that you love transmascs and being a tmasc and it comes thru in every paintstroke to me.
sorry to hijack with a big paragraph but last anon rly spoke to me and i wanted to share my experience if its ok
to last anon-- my journey is perhaps different from others but for me when i started T i also felt like it was the most important, life or death thing, but after spending time on T i found that even if the results werent as Manly as i was hoping for originally, i suddenly found myself in love with the simple fact that i had changed and my body had changed in a way that was on MY terms, even if it wasnt """perfectly passing"". since then ive found that not having T or having to lower my dosage was no longer painful or frightening.. im not sure how else to explain it other than At First, it felt like the testosterone was trying to fight Against the woman that Was my body, to sort of Transform it completely into this Man, but one day i just suddenly realized "oh. im not fighting anymore. and im actually pretty happy" and even tho i wasnt Perfectly masc by a long shot there was suddenly.. peace. i fell in love with my patchy body hair and my funny voice and my weird dick and then to my own suprise i found myself falling in love with the things i used to hate and wanted to get rid of. i suddenly loved my boobs (i wanted top surgery for YEARS before t) i loved my eyelashes, i loved the way my body looked in womens clothes, and i still loved being a man. im still a man and happier with that than ive ever been, but im more feminine now than i really ever have been! and its because suddenly being a man and having this mans body was something that belonged to ME, not to anyone else. this happiness and this body were on MY terms!!! so anon, i hope that you can try hormones and you get to explore the changes that bring you joy and that you find even more joy in the things you never expected before. but if you dont get hrt? youre still one of us always. i hope you will still find the love in your heart for yourself and the man you are regardless. peace and love and trangenderism ❤️
just want to add on that i relate heavily to your part about "falling in love with the things i used to hate and wanted to get rid of" because my chest was one of my biggest source of grief pre-T and could not imagine a life for myself without top surgery, and even injured myself from binding too much. but something about being on hrt and finally seeing and experiencing myself with more masc features (and living my life as a guy, in my own way) gradually flipped a switch in my brain and i started to love my boobs. and then when i stopped T i was worried and scared i would lose that love, but now i actually love them more than ever (if my art wasnt indication enough hehe). there's so many ways to be trans, and be a man, and i'm so grateful i gave myself the patience and space to explore that, and that i can continue to explore and experience joy with it. peace and love and transgenderism forever 💙
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pastadoughie · 7 months
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incase 1 of you needs 2 hear this :
a)
ai art is shitty and explotative, and while i dont think that neural networks are bad as a concept, they can be done ethically, but at this point every single large company that has ai shit is doing it in an extremely shitty way. art that is posted on the internet isnt yours to steal and make profit off of. you do not get to take the art of unconsenting random internet users, throw it into a shredder, and sell 7.99 a month subscription packadges for people to be able to eat some of the dust it spits out.
while i previously was more lax on people on reposting my art so long as they credited me, i ask that you not fucking repost my art, under any circumstance if you are on a platform that is scraping art, or on a site that is not properly set up to deal with scraping. the only acception to this is commisions where you have explicitly asked me.
this includes tumblr.
b)
reposting without credit is always bad, even if you dont know who to credit. you should under no circumstance be posting artwork that isnt your own without giving people a way to see the artist, and you need to link it in a way that is ACTUALLY USEFUL, give multiple links to multiple platforms, do not use 3rd party link shorteners, include mirrors and archive captures, provide a plain text spelling of usernames for every platform you link to, ask for explicit permission of the artist, opt out of any ai generation tools. or if you are on a platform that does not allow for this do not post it at all, and you have to have all of this very clearly visable and easily readable
if that is too much effort for you then you shouldnt be posting it. with literally zero exceptions.
c)
biological sex is not real and people can do whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies, even if you deem it as "self harm". under no circumstance should you take away peoples bodily autonomy, someone could literally be sawing their arms off for funsie wunsies and i would still say they need to have freedom and privacy, and it is ultimatly THEIR call what they do with themselves.
gender is similarly also not fucking real, people can dress however they want, fuck whoever they want, and use whatever words to describe themself with that they want. and if you think that boys wearing dresses or some shit is somehow harming you then you are ligitimately fucking pathetic. if i fucking ran a political campain saying everybody wearing a scarf was a pedo and a rapist and we need to ban scarfs forever would you fucking vote for me? are you that scared of people being able to? do what they want? jesus.
d)
genocide is bad. regardless of who does it.
regardless of the scale of cruelty, there is nothing that a group of people from a certain state, ethnicity, religeon, ect, can do that justifies murdering civilians. there is never a justification for genocide.
implying, under any circumstance, that someone is somehow evil for their background, appearance, religous beliefs, country of origin, sexuality, gender, ect. is shitty or worthy of violence because of that is, and i cannot stress this enough, fucking disgusting. nazi shit. even.
e)
i do not support zionism. i do not support antisemitism. i do not support racism.
also the iof is actively commiting a genocide. you should donate to a relief fund for people currently suffering from this, as well as call your house and senate members. as have i.
f)
people often times claim that people they dislike, largely minorities, are pedos or rapists or something of the sort. this is something that has been happening for, and i cannot stress this enough. all of fucking history. people were fucking saying these exact points, verbatim, to argue in favor of SLAVERY okay? if you are spouting the exact same shit as fucking nazis and colonizers and slave traders, then consider, you are a horrible fucking person.
you have to be EXTRODENARILY SKEPTICAL when accusing a minority of a serious crime, and spreading information about it. because if a bigot can just say "oh theyre a pedo" and you believe them at FACE VALUE then guess what? you are just as much of a bigot as they are. minorities are people, and people do terrible things, but just like you should be doing with EVERYBODY, you should be actually looking into things before you accuse someone of being a shit person, and often times, you are not knowlagable enough about someone to make those kinds of claims anyway.
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fitgirlfemdom · 10 months
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✧∘* ✧・゚welcome to my page!✧∘* ✧・゚
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this is my current nsfw/18+ tumblr for my horny rants and rambles. enjoy your stay!
who are you?
i'm fitgirl, and i'm a 20-year-old female metalhead with a fucked-up side i share here. i've been a long-time lurker of kink content on here, and i finally decided to take the plunge and make my own page. i mainly make written works or post my abs cause apparently people like those
i consider myself to be homoromantic bisexual. i relate heavily to men and would have sex with them but i'd never marry one :P i'm attracted to men, women, enbies, trans women, trans men, and everything in between. i do not have a genital preference
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can i send you pics of my body / give you money / request services outside of conversation?
all degradation and fetish/feeder DMs require a one-time $10 cashapp fee to $fgffund or i won't respond
this isn't because i feel like i'm better than you or something. i literally cannot financially afford spending hours DMing people eloquent paragraphs when i could be working my 9-5. maybe you can change that?
main kinks:
-degradation / praise -bimbofication / domestication -dumbification / iq loss -slobbification / incelification (is that a thing?) -weight gain -breeding / pregnancy -cucking -humiliation (mainly public hehe) -femdom -mind break / mind control -hucows my beloved
basically anything where someone loses control or gets worse. i'm a dom and lowkey a stone butch so i like when the above is done to others, not myself
kinks i'm picky about:
-cnc (needs to be combined with something else or i find it boring) -extreme pain/guro (only specific areas of the body and this blog is not for that side of me) -crossdressing (bikinis, bras, panties are hot--anything more and i don't care for it sexually) -piss + vomit (in very specific fucked-up situations, maybe)
hard no's:
-shit, bodily functions, etc. (if it's in a fic i'll still read it, but if it's the main focus or in graphic detail it turns meoff) -inflation (does not include rapid weight gain. i mean like the fuckin balloon shit on deviantArt) -vore (okay i just don't understand this one i'm sorry) -anal (i watched 1 Man 1 Jar when i was 14 and got immediately turned off forever)
non-kink stuff / interests (if u care):
-metal (Pantera, NIN, Slipknot, Children of Bodom, Sybreed, Fear Factory, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Gojira, Tool, Opeth, Wintersun, etc.) -industrial (KMFDM, aktivehate, Overseer, the Prodigy) -berserk [manga + 1997] and other medieval fantasy (TES series, DnD, Baldur's Gate) -digital art
i hope you enjoy reading my posts, and if you don't, i hope you have a good day! <3
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DISCLAIMER: NONE OF MY POSTS ARE POLITICAL! IF YOU BELIEVE ANY OF MY POSTS ARE ADVOCATING FOR A SPECIFIC POLITICAL CAUSE, YOU ARE INCORRECT! DO NOT DM ME ABOUT MY POLITICAL VIEWS! THIS BLOG IS FOR PORN AND NSFW! MY POSTS ARE NOT: PRO-MISANDRY | PRO-MISOGYNY | TRANSPHOBIC | FATPHOBIC | HOMOPHOBIC | PRO-RAPE CULTURE | PRO-LIFE | PRO-CHOICE MY POSTS ARE: FANTASY! I DO NOT ACTUALLY BELIEVE MEN ARE SUPERIOR TO WOMEN/WOMEN ARE SUPERIOR TO MEN! IT JUST GETS ME HORNY!!!1!1
thank u! <3
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isawken · 2 years
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disco elysium and transmasculinity:
i don't want to be this kind of animal anymore
there is no such thing as an inherently masculine trait, only those which we have culturally prescribed to be masculine. muscular, tall, strong, stoic. self-destructive. repressive. angry. unhinged. violent. addictive.
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Disco Elysium markets itself with the tagline “what kind of cop are you?”. to put it bluntly: you get to choose what man you want to be. the actual gameplay mechanic is the game keeps track of your dialogue choices and, among other RPG things, neatly divvies them up into 4 main Cop Categories: Sorry Cop, Apocalypse Cop, Superstar Cop, Boring Cop. after some time establishing your identity you can branch off into 3 other copotypes: honor cop, art cop, and hobocop. These are all exactly what you think they would be.
a supremacist stands tall, immovable, shirtless, tattooed, in the way of one of your objectives, and if you let him he will tell you all the ways your body betrays your degeneracy. all the indulgences you make, with drugs and alcohol and sex, are allegedly clear as day written across your reddened swollen face. you are not a man. you are pathetic. a pair of women reassure his divine masculinity even when he admits his impotence. there’s no denying it: that’s one man of a man right there.
your former detective partner is an eternally scowling pockmark faced asshole. he approaches every interaction with you with a nice solid baseline of aggression. if you choose to put your points into something called “espirit de corps”, you get small vignettes of his previous actions. in one of them, it’s joked that you two are near-marital in your relationship. in some of them, he worries about you. muttering under his breath, mostly to himself, not unkindly. but he certainly never shows that to you face to face. 
two old men play pétanque outside every day by the sea. they have done this for years. they have known each other since they were kids. one is a fascist, the other a democratic socialst. if you’re nosy, you can go to the watchman’s post and find a picture of him, his socialist buddy, and a young woman whose attentions they supposedly both vied for. if you decide to become a fascist, the game gives you something more. your abilities Pain Threshold, Composure, Endurance, Volition, Conceptualization, and Inland Empire take turns showing you tiny slices of a truth viciously stamped beneath the heel of his brilliant boot. a love for his dear hated socialist. and when he dies, that socialist tells you the same. but they never told each other. never even came close. because how could you?
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harry dubois wakes up face down ass up covered in piss and vomit and full of foggy confusion after drinking himself into amnesia. he's tall, he's got giant arms, a proud beer gut, and he's self-destructed himself into literal oblivion. this pitiful bastard doesn't even remember his own name. the first person he encounters outside of the hotel room in which he fucked himself up beyond his limbic system’s reach tells him at some point during his bingeful weekend she heard him scream, "i dont want to be this kind of animal anymore". you don’t know why you said this. but after a while you have some pretty good guesses.
i could talk forever about the unique circumstances of growing up as a girl in modern western society. but i have nothing interesting to say that hasn't already been said much more eloquently. learning to hate my body, learning to be afraid, learning that you need to want to be consumed. the eternal unpacking of all the issues a patriarchal society burdens you with. it never ends. but i've at least reached a point where i've done my base legwork. i know the oppression i've fought. it is nameable. i have labeled each and every patriarchal burden like a so many papers in a filing cabinet. few are going in the shredder, but at least they're known. next to that filing cabinet, i have a big pile of loose papers slowly sliding off a desk with the word "masculinity" in neon lights flickering above them. i want to dive into those papers. but the thought of it fills me with such apprehension. i've always wanted masculinity. i've purposefully adopted affectations to make myself more stereotypically masculine. most are hilariously shallow, and not exactly innovative. i smoked camels for 8 years. i drink my coffee black. i picked up a nice little alcohol habit. i've shoved down more feelings than i would ever willingly admit in the hopes to appear unbothered. I’ve told myself to “man the fuck up” my fair share of times. none of it got rid of my hips or my tits or my anxiety or my painfully high pitched voice. i’ve quit smoking. i sometimes think i should start again for many reasons, but one is in the hope that my voice will drop. just one octave. at least. it’s silly, i know. believe me. i know.
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when harry drags his sorry ass out of that hotel room, he isn't free of his past. he has shadows in his mind reminding him of the things he's forgotten. shadows that still influence his views of masculinity. there is no way to truly escape the bitter leaden paint stuck to the inside of your mind so violently applied by our beloved patriarchal society. there is a hilarious dialogue option where, if you so choose, you can proclaim that you would never let anyone androgynous touch your hair. because the “others” (unnamed) would laugh at you. here we have a man who cant remember his own name, but he is certain that he absolutely cannot under any circumstances have a non-manly haircut for fear of mockery and rejection by his peers. how many coats of that leadened paint must have adhered to his poor, poor limbic system that even when he’s forgotten the concept of money, he still knows about the boundaries of masculinity.
 as harry tries to be a good person (or a fascist or a doom prophet or a disco superstar) he cannot really shake the pieces of himself that make him him. and he meets another bastion of masculinity, kim kitsuragi immeasurably measured, willful, and kind (for a cop), he helps you rediscover the world around you as you try to rewrite your tabula rasa'd self. he is firm, but nice. he lets you make your choices and mistakes. and he only stops supporting you when you start fucking up like, literally everything, and indulging in racism. naturally, there is a lot of fanart of them kissing, and yearning. both are beacons of masculinity, different sides of the same coin. where harry is physically imposing, kim is slight. where kim is calm cool and collected, harry will break down crying after a brief conversation with his necktie. but both are undeniably masculine. i mean, they’re cops after all. what more masculine profession is there?
as kind as kim is to you in your lowest possible state, it can be easy to overlook the ways in which he is not kind. when you tell him you think you really, seriously, need to go to the hospital, seriously kim i can't even remember my name i think i could have brain damage, kim responds with the equivalent of "walk it off" by encouraging you to start working on the case and see if that makes you feel better instead. it is in this light that you recognize which affectations of his are conscious posturing. his fitted jacket and trousers, matching the uniforms worn by air brigades in a past war. his careful collection of tools he keeps in his beloved kineema. his vast knowledge and care for the car itself. looked at in a certain different light- you know the one- you could see these traits being the result of a very careful construction. he found pieces of overt masculinity and decided to subsume them as a defense. a bolstering, a reinforcement of chosen masculinity.
there are so many different flavors of masculinity that the game offers you to experience and explore yourself. you decide whether to value them. you can follow in mister phenology’s footsteps and try to build yourself into a supremacist ideal. maybe that will make you happy. you can also chase after a barely-coded homosexual man, who makes you stutter in most available dialogue options. even if that may make you happy, you don’t get to pursue it. you can think for 20 hours about the "homosexual underground", but you can't join it yourself. you can however join fascism. interesting how harry is more susceptible to fascism than homosexuality. interesting to prod and poke at his masculine limits.
“what kind of cop are you” is a loaded question. harry is rebuilding himself from the ground up as a man. and how funny is it to learn that is inextricable from his profession.
what do you find inextricable from your gender? what of those traits make you happy? what of those traits make you want to throw your fucking shoe through a god damn window and punch the bathroom mirror and scream and scream and scream and scream?
i want to emerge from a hotel room, at my lowest point, and have the power to rebuild myself from scratch. i want a cool man who i maybe want to kiss guide me with a gentle yet firm hand. i want to have large arms, and a proud beer gut, and a stupid beard, and i want to destroy a hotel room and drink myself into a beautifully tragic state. i want to have non-political body hair. i want to get stared at for my gaudy tie and green snakeskin shoes instead of my tits. i want become a different kind of animal.
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not-goldy · 3 months
Note
I was listening Taemin's Guilty and am I the only one who hears a subtle hint of "Lie" in it? Its a damn shame we haven't gotten another song like Lie by Jimin. He would absolutely own a track like that cause I could actually hear him singing Taemin's Guilty. And he would have ate that song & choreo up. Wwe already seen what Jimin could with that cause we saw that temptress at work during that Guilty challenge that he did with Taemin. That is what I have been wanting so badly from him during his solo work. Give me sultry Jimin & some kick as choreo that only he can pull off and we will watch others struggle to try to recreate. Give me Guilty, Give me WHO ft JK 2.0. Give me Under The Influence. Give me Earned It. Give me I'm A Slave For You. Please I beg Jimin.
Eh?? Subtle hint???????
The said hint
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Its the concept of the song, the tempo, mentioning Lie directly etc
He's been compared so much with Jimin in the past because they had similar sounds and style and I honestly thought Jimin would be making music in that genre forever but I'm glad he went the other route of evolving his own unique style too.
Lie and Guilty are two of the greatest Kpop hits and I recall when Guilty came out fans were making mashups of the two songs and all it was epic.
Two amazing talented singers and musicians.
I actually like Taemin's music. Guilty reminds me in part of his Advice with his signature hook and all but I do see the similarities with Lie also.
You see, you have to be patient with Jimin. He needs to make music that feeds his soul and that comes from his soul first. His best hits are songs he'd searched deep inside him for. He has his own idea of what he wants his discography to look like, he has his own musical journey he is on. He's an artist and an entrepreneur and he gotta test what makes money what don't what needs money and what don't.
You want lie, well he's done Lie and he's moved on to other things too. Perhaps he's not in the same mind frame he was in when he came up with Lie and Promise.
Remember how Tae kept making melancholic songs and I told yall my boo single and depressed and then he started with the happy songs and said welp dude went and got himself a girlfriend.
Jimin is happy 😊
He is is a good place he wants to spread that joy and love. He wants to celebrate that love let him. He's not gonna conjure fake deep wounds and sing about the trauma he doesn't have anymore. Taemin is out here singing about using people, breaking hearts to a good rhythm and we love it. Not all art comes from a dark place. What he is doing is art too and I'm tired of people expressing dissatisfaction with it.
He said he's finally free and he means it yall are just some tortured souls walking earth. And not to psycho analyze yall but you were drawn to the wounds he had and now that it's all healed you can't relate. Don't you think it's why we victimize him the most? Poor boy who got bullied by his younger team mate, half his own Fandom hates, his company hates him, Billboard hates him, every body hates him- and yet he isn't crying about it in songs, he isn't leaving the said man or his company and we are confused as to why.
Whywhy.... tell em that it's human nature. Why why
This is where I start singing Michael Jackson on yall
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Not everything he puts out there will resonate and that's fine. It's still good music. Its just coming from a different place now.
Not everything gotta be so intense yall need to learn to be happy
Sultry Jimin will come in due season. It's summer time baby enjoy the sunshine- pan intended
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[ID: White bubble text on a black background that reads, "Please describe your art! I am too disabled to keep up with you all!". Next to this is an original Flatland character, Hauntlight, an Irregular line who has many bends, and whose back end branches out into a narrow fork. It has a white glow on its outside, and its insides are filled with simple blobs of different shades of purple and pink to show its internal organs. End ID.]
The goal for this blog was feasable when it was only a few people posting, but now with the sudden surge of new fans posting undescribed art every single day, I literally have no hope of keeping up unless other people start describing their own art, or at least adding descriptions to other people's.
If someone adds an image description to your art, copy and paste it into the original post. It should be in the same format as the one on this post: Plain regular text with no italics, color, or bold. Describe what is in the image. Pretend your friend's internet isn't working and the image won't load for them.
A plain text image description is more accessible than ALT text alone, because tumblr is glichy as all crap, and even if the ALT text is working fine today, it might not be tomorrow, or a few months from now. For several months they literally had the ALT text be white text on a neon purple background. Do not trust tumblr's staff to keep their accessability features actually accessible. They break this site all the time. Plain text in the body of the post itself, like all of this whole post is, is less likely to be broken by glitches and changes to the site.
Image descriptions are for blind and low vision people the way subtitles are for the deaf and hard of hearing, as well as people with brain damage who can see fine, but still struggle to process images.
Learning to describe your art will make you a better writer and artist. It will allow disabled people to appreciate your art. It will make this fandom, and any other fandoms you make art for, more welcoming for disabled people, and will make the internet overall more accessible.
Please start adding plain text image descriptions to your art. There are hundreds of tutorials on tumblr alone you can find, and many blogs dedicated solely to creating image descriptions that you can follow to see more examples.
Image descriptions should go directly below the image they are describing, above any other commentary. Do not put them at the very bottom of the post if the image is the first thing in the post.
Also, do not put anything you wouldn't be okay with losing forever under a read-more. If you ever delete the original post, change your username, or have your blog terminated, everything under a read-more will be deleted forever, because the link breaks.
This is why image descriptions should not go under read-mores unless the images they're describing are also under it.
Please add image descriptions to your art before you post it. I could slowly work my way through the fandom's posts when it was only a few people, but this is just becoming unmanageable and I don't want to have to give up from being completley overwhelmed.
Make image descriptions for your own art. Make them for other's art. At the very very least, when someone makes one for your art, add it to the original post. Please. Irregulars are in this fandom too.
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eightstarr · 1 year
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hi zoe! after your last ellie post... i can't stop wondering about how your ellie and abby were like when they were in highschool. i fully believe ellie got side bangs bc she wanted to look like chloe price. (she looked like justin bieber)
anyways i love you (not in a gay way ofc.)
-penis cat anon
omg i had so much fun thinking about this!! i love you too but in a gay way because i'm gay. i'm sorry to have to tell you like this in front of all these people 😮‍💨
and no actually i think ellie wanted to look like justin bieber :) i can see her being a fan ngl. she looks like she has the weirdest gender envy and justin bieber would've been like her dream body to be in when she was 14
as for her as a student i think i've mentioned this before but i think ellie loveddd history so much! i can also see her being really good at math but not even realizing it. art class was okay but she likes to do art at her own pace and IF she feels like it so i think she would've hated assignments. like don't tell her what to do!! she's only picking up a pencil if she wants to!!! otherwise she's putting no effort in, so sorry about it
socially i think she was the kid that gets adopted by the nice pretty girls because she's funny!! they love her <3 i can see her not really having very close friends until she's older though! i feel like she was more closed off than she would like to admit for a really long time, but she's way better now. it's a work in progress!
abby as a student is like fascinating to me. i could think about it for hours. i think the obvious thing is that she was really incredibly, amazingly, annoyingly good at everything. but she's so cool!! how can you hate her? she has one best friend and speaks to literally no one else but if you drop your pen she'll pick it up for you, you know? that's abby
but she's so mysterious like i can't even tell you what her favorite subject was!! and i don't think she knows either like she's just naturally a good student and by the time she's high school age, she just views all of it as simply the steps that lead to the next thing (she's had a life plan since she was 7) (it's written in pink crayon) (her dad has it framed). but that doesn't mean that she hated school! she has lots of fun with her friend and grows a really lovely connection to sports and makes sooo many significant bonds with her teachers. she thinks about them sometimes and writes them really nice emails that could make grown men cry
and yeah there were like 85 people that had a serious crush on her but if you went to high school with her and bring it up she'll be like "???? what do you mean??" she's silly <3 i can talk about her forever and i think it shows, my bad :)
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voidarchivefiles · 1 year
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Ancient void practices
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I went through some success stories and tagged the ones that entered the void through yoga nidra and lucid dreaming cos these two ancient practices have always fascinated me since they're deeply centred around our state of consciousness and are also known portals to out of body experiences/shifting/the void. Read them if you need some motivation! Also see my recent post on lucid dreaming if you're interested in entering the void through that.
Anyway, if you have doubts about the void, I think a great anchor is leaning into practices that have roots dating back to ancient times and researching them and of course, reading more widely than just Tumblr. When you do this, you'll know that this state isn't something that was invented by Tumblr and has existed since.. forever because well, it's pure consciousness lol. And the void/turiya/samadhi has been known way before Neville's time. From my research, it's the main goal of yoga practitioners as well but they pursue it for the purpose of enlightenment and peace as opposed to manifesting desires.
The rest of this post is a dump of interesting excerpts from my research on yoga, samadhi and turiya and its links to manifesting, reality shifting and the void state. You can also do your own research although there's no need to overdo it :)
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This extract seems to be talking about reality shifting/manifesting/instant creation. I am curious on where we could learn more about yogis doing this!
Trapped in Your Own World Many yogis have created their own worlds and been trapped in realities like this. I am going into an area which is a twilight zone, but there are many yogis who have created their own world around themselves. A yogi goes into a cave and actually creates his own universe and lives there. This is not a joke. He creates everything that he wants – his own kind of planets, his own kind of earth, his own kind of everything – and lives there very happily. A universe is contained inside the cave. You can create a whole universe in an atom’s space because “here and there” and “this much and that much” are a creation of the mind. There are many yogis like this, but they are no closer to realization than you. He lives in a different world, that is all. He is probably more caught up than you, because he is also the creator. He has learned the art of creation. This does not become an ultimate release. This just becomes a different kind of action, a different way of doing things. An artist draws a new world on a canvas. A yogi actually creates it. The artist’s creation is two-dimensional, whereas the yogi’s is three-dimensional. This is more deceptive. An artist can get so involved in the world he is creating that he starts believing it is true, and it is true for him. A poet believes that whatever he writes is the truth. Similarly, a painter deeply involved in what he is doing believes what he is painting is the truth. When two-dimensional things are like this, if you create three-dimensional things around yourself, you are definitely going to be more caught up with them. Source
To be honest, I have no idea what the difference is between samadhi and turiya in yoga terms. I tried looking into it but it's still not clear to me. If you research into both terms, they come up with very similar definitions.
Yoga nidra and the void (turiya)
By means of Yoga Nidra, skilled practitioners seek to access Turiya, not just when in meditation or absorbed samadhi states, but in all variations of consciousness- encompassing waking, dreaming and deep sleep. They seek lucidity in all states. Yoga Nidra is a powerful practice that guides us beyond mind and in fact turns mind upon itself where its obscuring nature is dissolved to reveal the inner Light that is perennially Bright, with eyes closed or open. Source
What is turiya?
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Source: Radiant Rest: Yoga Nidra for Deep Relaxation and Awakened Clarity by Tracee Stanley
Turiya is not a state apart from the grosser states but pervades all levels of reality as superconsciousness. Ramana Maharshi interprets turiya as the natural state that permeates the other states, the only whole reality. The Mandukya Upanishad discusses turiya as pure consciousness, which is indescribable, incomprehensible, and unthinkable by the mind, but ultimately realized as the one true self. Source
The four states of consciousness are jagrat, svapna, shushupti and turiya. Jagrat is waking consciousness, svapna is the dream consciousness, shushupti is the deep sleep consciousness and turiya is higher consciousness which is beyond all previous states. Entering the state of turiya requires inner silence. It can be achieved when the mind is free of mental blocks and bondages with time and space. The goal of yoga and meditation is to achieve turiya, where oneness is felt with the universe. Source
There are three states only, the waking, dream and sleep. Turiya is not a fourth one; it is what underlies these three. But people do not readily understand it. Therefore it is said that this is the fourth state and the only Reality. In fact it is not apart from anything, for it forms the substratum of all happenings; it is the only Truth; it is your very Being. The three states appear as fleeting phenomena on it and then sink into it alone. Therefore they are unreal. Source
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tagged by @imogenkol and @thesingularityseries thank you both <3
Got a few things i'm working on right now, I am all over the place with my WIPs lately. But first some art:
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On vacation this week and with the little in preschool I can delve into some major line art with this piece because I have the time and the patience. (saved the weapons for very last because I hate the intricacy of them and the body armour took enough time) Thinking this one will likely stay grey scale rather than color.
And some writing, a little snippet from the end of chapter 1 of "Penumbra" aka the Ladyhawke AU:
Dusk begins to settle, the sun fading through the shivering oak leaves that rustle in the wind. Striations of coral and tangerine blend like watercolours in the sky, dripping into one another as the trees darken into silhouette in the foreground. The last calls of the birds are a witness to the coming night and Price’s hackles begin to rise. He’s on edge, a common occurrence the closer the moon comes to rising. He needs a place to settle, to rest, travel can wait once more for the harsh light of the sun.
“We’ll make camp,” he says offhandedly, over his shoulder to his newest companion, the first one who can actually answer back in years. 
Pulling on the reins he slows Nikolai’s gallop to a saunter as they look for a clearing, and through a thicket of trees, an old serfdom farm comes into view. In the falling darkness it’s hard to tell whether the farm is in a worthwhile state or whether it's worn to nothing but rotted wood, there’s little else around for shelter and the prickle of his nerves down his spine and his clenching knuckles tell Price there’s no point in looking further, time won’t wait any longer for him. The closer they get it's easy to see that the roofs of every structure have caved inwards from the deluge of rain received in the winter, shingles crumbling, walls splintered and bowing under the pressure of standing stable without any upkeep. They’ll make do for one night, carrying on in the morning. Tying Nikolai to the nearest sturdy oak tree, Price unloads the pan and pot for cooking, ordering Garrick to go collect the firewood. 
Alone at camp, he unloads the final saddle bag, pulling the tiny lamb from inside it and cradling it in his strong arms. A calloused finger caresses the underside of the animal’s chin as large eyes stare up at him. Heart squeezing in his chest, his brow furrows as he looks down at the little being in his arms, so totally reliant on him. He wishes he was deserving of the trust she gives him – he knows he’s not. 
Carrying his most prized possession over to the barn, Price places the woolly creature down on the cloak he has draped on the hay for her. A large hand that covers nearly the entire head of the lamb strokes softly, his thumb drifting upwards along the snout against the soft wool between dark mirror-like eyes. “Rest well, my girl,” he whispers in a husk. His armour sits tight on him as muscles begin to expand and shift with the coming night, as the first stars begin to twinkle his chest swells and his back wants to hunch. He hates this in-between stage, where he can feel himself slipping away, losing himself to an instinct that isn’t even his own – everything that makes the man falls by the wayside as the silver light of moonglow threatens to overwhelm the dying sun. Stripping himself of his last vestiges of clothing, folding them neatly, handling them with the pride and respect they deserved, he packs them away. Left bare, the chill of the night settling into the scars on his skin and the patches of hair that start to sprout from him, he looks over at the little lamb resting curled up. He sighs, knowing the time will come where once more he’ll have only a fleeting moment with her. A sight for sore eyes that lasts for a fraction of a second before they are once more separated. It never gets any easier, a constant burden that follows him – Always together, forever apart. 
The sun finally dips down, darkness blanketing the world and crickets begin to chirp as the quiet of night takes the helm, and before him as he reaches out his hand, watching it transform into a massive paw with black sickled claws, stands the woman he’s been aching for every day for the last five years. Unable to touch her, his heart pounds in his chest and he could nearly weep at the sight of her beauty. It’s his fault they’re trapped like this, he’s done this to her, and he could scream at the curse that hangs over their head like the executioner’s axe. She’s his whole reason for living and this is what they’ve been reduced to: a yearning that can never be ended, a lifetime of heartbreak, a loss worse than death.
But the pain relieves itself, because in the blink of an eye he is no longer a man.
tagging: @carlosoliveiraa @strangefable @cassietrn @finding-comfort-in-rain
@cloudofbutterflies92 @theelderhazelnut @josephseedismyfather @la-grosse-patate @g0dspeeed
@simplegenius042 @voidika @kyberinfinitygems @direwombat @statichvm @clicheantagonist
@tommyarashikage @aceghosts @inafieldofdaisies @raresvtm @justasmolbard
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devil-doll13 · 1 year
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Some House of Wax/Sinclair Brothers Headcanons I’ve had in my head that I’ve already shared w the server but… The rest of the world deserves to know.
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Related to gif, Vincent is the ‘medical expert’ of the house solely because he’s the one who knows the human body/first aid the best. I mean, in the movie we see him stitching up those wounds on what’s-his-face pretty neatly, right? This is also part of the reason why he automatically reaches for Bo during this scene.
Given his birth date was sniffed out by fans before me (1970) and this man looks like he’s a cosplayer sometimes, I truly believe Bo idolised Elvis Presley as a kid, and maybe a bit as an adult as well. He still enjoys listening to rock n’ roll from that era when he’s in a good mood. When he’s in a bad mood, or doing his business™️ in his sex dungeon/basement, that’s when the Marilyn Manson comes on.
All of them have had an alt phase of some sort. For Vincent it was goth, for Bo it was rivethead/industrial rock and for Lester it was grunge.
Les is also down bad fucking horrendous for alt people in general. Yes, he has magazines stuffed down his sofa, yes, they used to be Bo’s.
Bo is allergic to nuts. He also gets really nasty hay fever. I also think possibly him having sensory issues/picky eater could’ve led to meltdowns as we see in the opening. And really, it’s the 1970s/80s do you expect his parents to understand or sympathise?
In contrast, Lester has the constitution of a Greek god somehow and has probably eaten some absolutely vile shit as a kid.
I know most people interpret Vince as sweet and shy but… While I do think he’s more measured and withdrawn compared to Bo, I also think being the ‘favourite’ in terms of being Trudy’s little art prodigy contributed to a sort of spoilt brattiness esp as a kid. (Exhibit A: The ‘Bo Sux’ fridge art in the opening) As an adult, there’s still a sense of entitlement to him. What I’m saying is that he’s an insufferable art nerd lol. He definitely isn’t toothless and his arguments with Bo aren’t necessarily one-sided, he’s just capable of ignoring him when he wants to; he’s used to his twin, after all. While I do think he’s capable of being soft, don’t forget this man killed a woman in cold blood and recorded it. I also think he can get snippy enough during arguments to combat Bo’s generally sharp tongue.
Speaking of which, everyone in the (surviving) family knows ASL. It’s necessary when communicating with Vincent.
Again with how prolific a killer Vincent is, I suspect he may be the one who does the most murder out of all of them. Bo is the handsome ‘face’ of Ambrose, and Vincent is right under the seedy underbelly with a knife, ready to spill guts (and then sew it up again once he’s got them in the workshop). Lester is similar to Bo in that he mostly just guides people toward the town, but I do think he gets his own notions sometimes.
From a more x reader perspective, Bo strikes me as a man who’s most charming when he’s not trying to be. Of course he can put on an act for victims/tourists, but those are just empty words, y’know? Also, has a kinda cheesy side.
I know everyone has Jonesy as Lester’s dog but… I think she’s really Vincent’s. In the movie, she’s always seen with Vin or in the house of wax itself, it’s only when he dies that she goes to Lester. I actually think Les is a cat person (tell me he wouldn’t actually encourage their hunting habits for his own personal collection…) while Vin is a dog person. Also, hot take I think Bo loves snakes and reptiles.
Given that the House of Wax and Ambrose itself is a big ol’ art project, and we’ve seen the state of the church (permanently in the middle of dead ass crusty Trudy’s funeral) I think there may be a sort of difficulty letting go of their past in the brothers, maybe some hoarding as well (I mean we haven’t even seen some of the other houses in Ambrose but this is just speculation). We get the sense that Ambrose is a place where time stands still, forever, until its conservationists finally die. Idk I’m talking out my ass here
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becauseimanicequeen · 3 months
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Gustav Klimt's The Kiss in My Stand-In
I received an ask a couple of days ago about what Gustav Klimt's The Kiss painting might mean in My Stand-In (which is something I've been thinking about ever since I briefly reacted to it all those episodes ago) and decided to answer that question in a separate post. So, here I am.
I will first describe the painting (since it isn't that visible in the images I have from My Stand-In) and then dive into the stories behind the possible sources of inspiration for the painting before I get to the significance it might have to the series.
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The painting depicts a man and a woman who are tightly embracing each other. The man has one hand around the back of her head while the other is on her cheek. She has one arm around his neck and the other hand resting on the one that's cradling her face. Her eyes are closed and the man is kissing her on the cheek. They're kneeling on a bed of colorful flowers (well, at least we can see that the woman is kneeling).
The man has an ivy wreath on his head while the woman has flowers in her hair and around her neck. They're both wearing yellow/gold garments. The man's garment is decorated with rectangular shapes in black, white, and silver. The woman's garment is decorated with circular floral patterns, curvy lines, and some small squares and rectangles. The patterns on the woman's garment include red, green, and blue hues. The woman also has golden ivy hanging from her ankles.
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Now that I've gone through that, let's look at the possible meaning of The Kiss.
I've never heard of this before, but just like Anon wrote in the ask that made me write this post, The Kiss seems to have been connected to Orpheus and Eurydice (at least according to Wikipedia, but take that with a grain of salt because there are no official sources to support this) and showing the moment right before he loses his love.
To summarize the story of Orpheus and Eurydice: They were married, Eurydice died due to a snakebite, and Orpheus went into the underworld to get her back. Orpheus was told to not look back at Eurydice as they walked out of the underworld. He couldn't hear her footsteps behind him, looked back (either out of his own longing or thinking he'd been fooled by the gods, I've heard of both versions), and she was sent back to the underworld forever. This led Orpheus to swear off women until the end of his life (which includes a couple of different endings, one of them being that he's ripped to pieces, lol).
I don't know if art historians have actually made this connection, but (in my opinion) it could make sense. Orpheus couldn't hear Eurydice's footsteps because it was her soul/spirit that walked behind him. She wouldn't get her body back until she came out into the light. And in the painting, the woman actually looks like she's translucent (just like it says on Wikipedia). But also, the meadow she's kneeling on ends abruptly behind her feet, which could indicate a way to the underworld, and the golden ivy around her ankles might be keeping her "chained" there.
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I'll get into what this might mean in My Stand-In in a moment because I have another connection to write about first. And that's the story of Apollo and Daphne, which an art historian/author argued is the case.
To summarize the story of Apollo and Daphne: Daphne was more interested in hunting and exploring forests than getting married and having kids (which her father initially wanted for her). So, when Apollo fell in love with her and started pursuing her, she fled. She eventually reached the water where her father resided and cried out to him to destroy her beauty. That's when she turned into a laurel. Even as a tree, Apollo vowed to honor her forever.
If The Kiss was inspired by this story, it would be a depiction of the moment Apollo kissed Daphne, right before she turns into a tree. However, there are no official sources to support whether this story was Klimt's inspiration or not.
But let's say that both versions are valid. How does that relate to My Stand-In?
Both myths are about transformation in some way. Orpheus and Eurydice's myth is about death and rebirth (although it doesn't get as far as an actual rebirth), while Apollo and Daphne's story is about a metamorphosis.
If we look at Orpheus and Eurydice's story in particular, the big strokes are similar to Ming and Joe's. They were in a situationship/relationship, Joe died, and Ming has been searching for Joe ever since.
If we look at Apollo and Daphne's story, certain things are similar to Joe and Ming's. First of all, there is the transformation where Daphne turns into a laurel and Joe transmigrates to another body.
Second, considering what we've seen in the trailer for the series, I'm sure Ming will chase Joe as much as he possibly can now that he's (almost) sure Joe 2.0 is "his" Joe, which feels similar to Apollo chasing after Daphne. I also feel like Joe will continue to refuse Ming for as long as he possibly can, which is similar to Daphne running from Apollo and rejecting his advancements.
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With that said, including The Kiss in Joe's home decor was a great choice (besides fitting with his color scheme).
But, what might The Kiss mean going forward? Let me speculate for a moment.
Considering the myths and how Eurydice didn't come back to life while Daphne didn't change back to a human being (even if she had wanted to), I feel like that's telling of Joe's fate in My Stand-In. I don't think he will get back into his former body because there is no turning back. Just like with Eurydice and Daphne.
I would be really surprised if the series chooses to transmigrate Joe back into his own body because I don't see this story having a "fairytale" ending. That's not the vibe I'm getting. A happy ending (which is possible) is another thing entirely, btw.
Instead, I feel like we will get Ming chasing Joe (like Apollo chased Daphne), just like I mentioned above, and Ming trying to honor Joe as much as he can (like Orpheus swore off women after losing Eurydice or Apollo vowed to honor the laurel tree).
This also falls in line with the idea I've personally had about this series for a few weeks now; that one of its major themes is about second chances. Joe got a second chance at life, Ming is getting his second chance with Joe and to not fuck it up this time, Joe is getting a second chance at having a family (Joe 2.0's mom), etc.
But, I could be wrong about all my speculations. And I'm excited to find out how wrong I am, lol.
Anyway...
The Kiss is said to weave together themes of love and the cycle of life and death. That seems very fitting for the series. And, as an artist, I love that art is so prominent in (particularly) Joe's home.
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