#because i am but an old grandmother trapped in a 26 year old’s body

[lewmagoo]

one thing about me is, i will call everyone babe or baby

[chicagosfinest2021]

nosy anons let's go

(I know people are supposed to anonymously send these to people but most people usually don't bother so I'm just going to answer them myself because I can :-P )

0: Height-5'3"

1: Age-Old enough to know what a pager is but young enough to never have actually used one before X-D

2: Shoe size-9

3: Do you smoke? No

4: Do you drink? Occasionally/socially

5: Do you take drugs? Just benadryl for my allergies

6: Age you get mistaken for? Early to mid 20's

7: Have tattoos? No

8: Want any tattoos? No, I like my chocolately skin the way it is :-)

9: Got any piercings? Just my ears

10: Want any piercings? I might get one or two more

11: Best friend? My sister

12: Relationship status? Happily unattached

13: Biggest turn ons? Men who have money and spend it on me

14: Biggest turn offs? Broke men who are looking for free sex and free therapy

15: Favorite movie? An Indian movie I just watched on Netflix a few months ago called "Queen". I saw so much of myself in the main character, it was amazing.

16: I’ll love you if… For men, you consistently make the effort to make me happy and make sure I'm taken care of(which includes respecting my time and my presence in your life). For women...we just have to bond and genuinely enjoy each others company, that's really it. Women earn my love much more easily.

17: Someone you miss? My grandmother, I'd probably give up a lot of good things I have going for myself right now in exchange for having my grandmother back.

18: Most traumatic experience? (*Trigger warning*) My sexual assaults, especially the second one because it was someone I'd known since I was a kid.

19: A fact about your personality? I've been introverted since childhood. I like either small intimate settings or being alone, rarely do I enjoy being in big groups.

20: What I hate most about myself? That it took me so long to come out of my social anxiety and had low self value for so long. I think that if I had conquered all of that sooner, I'd be a lot further ahead in life.

21: What I love most about myself? I'm more secure in who I am now than ever before. There's certain things that I used to tolerate that are unthinkable to me in the present, and I don't have "haters" because anyone that might be throwing negative energy my way doesn't register.

22: What I want to be when I get older? A luxurious Black woman with my own condo and living in an upscale neighborhood. I want to be saving money, making wise investments, and spoiling myself and my niece <3 I also want to have a tight group of girl friends I spend time with regularly.

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)? I have one full sister who is like my twin and we're very close, and a younger half-sister who's 8 years my junior whom I love but don't relate to too much. We have different mothers and (through no fault of hers) we grew up in very different environments: me and my oldest sister are a lot more "bougie" as a result of our suburban upbringing, but our little sister grew up in the 'hood and applies "hood logic" to a lot of things. The type of men we're attracted to, the type of music we like, the company we keep. . .it's like trying to talk to someone who speaks a foreign language.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)? I'm a daddy's girl. Even though my dad and I don't see eye to eye on everything he's the reason why I have such high expectations from men. My mom and I only recently started getting close, she and I tend to bump heads more often than me and my dad.

25: My idea of a perfect date? I show up to a 4 star Italian restaurant and my date meets me with roses and a small gift. We sit down and he's a gentleman, we eat, chat, makes jokes, and have a few drinks. After he pays the bill but before we get up to leave he passes me an envelope under the table. I take a look and see that it has $700 in cash inside of it. I accept it and thank him. Before we part ways he requests to see me again soon and I tell him I'll have to check my schedule. My Uber ride pulls up and my date opens my door for me before taking my hand and kissing it.

26: My biggest pet peeves? Men who want maximum benefits for minimal effort and the women willing to give it to them. Also trap music, just. . .in general. Oh and Black people who still insist we're "taking the sting out of the N-word" by using it casually amongst ourselves, it's just such a problematic and counterproductive mindset and I can't even pretend to entertain it.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like? I don't currently have anyone that I like but ideally they'd be well groomed, witty, intelligent, stable mentally, emotionally and financially. Someone who likes jokes but isn't vulgar, and notices the little things about me (how I make eye contact, my natural scent, the way I carry myself when I walk, sit, stand, etc). Being physically attractive is always a plus, but things that I find physically attractive in a person is very broad.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most? Rude, unkempt, body odor, someone who doesn't respect personal boundaries, ungrateful, uninteresting, someone who talks incessantly about things they don't actually know or can't comprehend.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend? I can't remember the last time I lied to a friend about anything.

30: What I hate the most about work/school? My current position is uninteresting, tedious and not in a field I was working in previously. Also I'm doing work that realistically should be performed by 4 or 5 people but of course they expect one person to take care of everything. It's really just a temporary gig to make money to save up for a new place, so I'm trying to suck it up because I know I won't be here long.

31: What my last text message says: My cousin said she got her 2nd covid vaccination today so I responded with "Hip Hop Hooray!" LOL

32: What words upset me the most? "I'm just looking to have fun. . ."

33: What words make me feel the best about myself? When another pretty Black girl gives me a compliment, I immediately feel invincible.

34: What I find attractive in women? High self esteem and a sense of security, not seeing other women as competition, women who are cultured and have multiple interests, and who enjoy learning new things as well as sharing her wisdom with others. I also enjoy creating bonds with women who are child-free by choice like myself.

35: What I find attractive in men? Their ability to spoil me and give me pleasure.

36: Where I would like to live? North side of Chicago maybe around Lincoln Park. Outside of the US I'd like to live in England or Ireland in the future.

37: One of my insecurities: I am a short woman with large breasts (double D's). I've been buxom since a very young age and being well endowed has made me the center of negative attention on more than a few occasions. I'm constantly battling between wanting to highlight my curves without "advertising" too much either.

38: My childhood career choice: I believe I wanted to be a writer. I'd love to be a travel blogger actually.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor: It used to be cookie dough but now it's mint chocolate chip

40: Who I wish I could be: Sade

41: Where I want to be right now: Sitting on the balcony of my luxury condo, sipping wine and watching the lights of the city while smooth jazz is playing on my record player.

42: The last thing I ate: A slice of my dad's birthday cake (red velvet)

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: I have this picture of this male model saved on my phone who looks like a "stereotypical" sugar daddy to me: tall, caucasian male, white/silver hair, piercing blue eyes, mid to late 50's, full beard and mustache, about 6 feet tall, muscular build.

44: A random fact about anything: Countries with more irreligious people/atheists/non-believers tend to also be the most peaceful and prosperous.

[hannahindie]

85 Statements!

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

I was tagged by the absolutely amazing @ultrafandomcat Thank you so much for tagging me love!

Last

1. Drink - Cherry Coke

2. Phone call - The dude from Ink in a Blink.

3. Text message - not a text technically, but @pinknerdpanda! <3

4. Song you listened to - As The Jurassic World Turns (Jurassic World Soundtrack)

5. Time you cried - Umm...sometime earlier this week. I found pictures my grandmother who just passed away took at my wedding last year.

Ever

6. Dated someone twice? - Not dated, but talked to. Dumb.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Oh, yes. Oh my, yes. And Facebook memories just keep popping up the fallout from it. -eye roll-

8. Been cheated on - ...This is weird to answer. No but yes? It’s a weird story. lol

9. Lost someone special - Yes.

10. Been depressed - Yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - Yeeaaaaa. I used to be able to say no to this, and then I got old and my body decided to remind me.

Favourite colours

12. dark purple

13. bright blue

14. dark gray

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - Yes.

16. Fallen out of love - Nope! Still very much head over heels, thank youuuuu.

17. Laughed until you cried - Yep

18. Found out someone was talking about you - I’m sure people talk about me at work a lot. -shrug- I guess that happens when you get shit done. -flex-

19. Met someone who changed you - Sure have

20. Found out who your friends are - Uhh...I don’t think so?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - Sure have! -whispers- My husband is my facebook friend.

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - I’d like to say most of them, but I had a pretty significant time frame where I made alllllllllll the online friends.

23. Do you have any pets - My kitty!

24. Do you want to change your name - I changed my last name!

25. What did you do for your last birthday - I honestly can’t remember. I’m sure I went with my parents, we had a dinner with friends, I think my husband might have taken just the two of us out.

26. What time did you wake up today - 8 a.m.

27. What were you doing at midnight last night - Watching Grey’s Anatomy because I hate myself.

28. What is something you cant wait for - APRIL. I get to see my water bear and my twin and the boys and and and everyooooooooone!

30. What are you listening to right now - People talking about....something. I don’t know. Not paying much attention.

31. Have you ever talked to a person named tom - One of my first close college friends is named Tom.

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves - Wanting to go home and being trapped here. lol

33. Most visited website - Tumblr, Facebook, BeFunky.

34. Hair colour - dark strawberry blonde I guess. Someone said brown once, but I don’t think that’s accurate.

35. Long or short hair - I miss my long hair.

36. Do you have a crush on someone - Yes. -whispers- It’s my husband. Don’t tell him.

37. What do you like about yourself - I’m pretty hilarious.

38. Want any piercings? - I toyed with the idea of getting my nose pierced.

39. Blood type - I have no idea. I live life on the edge.

40. Nicknames - Han, Hanners

41. Relationship status - Marrrrrrriiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeed

42. Zodiac - Pisces

43. Pronouns - She/her.

44. Favourite TV shows - Supernatural, Walking Dead, Criminal Minds, Psych, The Office, Game of Thrones, Sherlock, Grey’s Anatomy (just recently. it’s my guilty pleasure)

45. Tattoos - One, on my foot. It says Amor motis est.

46. Right or left handed - Right.

47. Ever had surgery - Yup

48. Piercings - Yep: I had three on the bottom, but now I have two on the bottom, and the first hole is gauged, I have a regular cartilage piercing in one ear, and an industrial in the other.

49. Sports - I did roller derby for awhile. I am not an athletic person.

50. Vacation - New Zealand, Ireland, pretty much most places, okay, ,thanks.

51. Trainers - My favorite pair are black converse that are super glittery.

More general

52. Eating - I haven’t had lunch...but I had a McGriddle for breakfast.

53. Drinking - Still sipping on cherry coke.

54. I’m about to watch - Nothing. Because I’m trapped.

55. Waiting for - the contractors to be done with my house so I can move in!

56. Want - to go home, and see my parents, and also mooooooove.

57. Get married - I am! It’s pretty great. I thoroughly enjoy it.

58. Career - If I could make money from writing and cross stitching, and be able to survive...that. OR Moving into the ID department. Or an occupational therapist.

Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses - I like both very much.

60. Lips or eyes - Eyes.

61. Shorter or taller - Taller, because I’m already pretty short.

62. Older or younger - Doesn’t really matter...my husband is only like a month older than me. lol

63. Nice arms or stomach - Mmm...arms.

64. Hookup or relationship - Relationship, yo.

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - I can be both.

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - Uhhh...I don’t think so? hahah

67. Drank hard liquor - Oh, yes.

68. Lost glasses - Yes

69. Turned someone down - Yes

70. Sex on first date - Nope

71. Broken someones heart - Yeaaaa....but not on purpose.

72. Had your heart broken - Yep. Facebook thought it would be cool to remind me.

73. Been arrested - Nope

74. Cried when someone died - Yes.

75. Fallen for a friend - Yeaaaaaa.

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - Sometimes.

77. Miracles - Sure do.

78. Love at first sight - I knew when I saw my husband walk across the street to meet me for our first date. Hadn’t even spoken to him in person yet.

79. Santa clause - Why wouldn’t I?

80. Kiss on a first date - That depends.

81. Angels - Yup

Other

82. Best friend’s name - This makes me feel like I am going to make someone sad. They know. lol

83. Eye colour - Blue/Grey with a yellow ring around the pupil.

84. Favourite movie - Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, alllll the Marvel Movies. There’s too many.

85. Favourite actor - Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Simon Pegg, Chris Evans, Sebastian Stan, Chris Pratt, Benedict Cumberbatch, Martin Freeman, Zac Efron, Matthew Gray Gubler...there’s so many.

[kdkathryn]

before sunrise and psychology

attempting to fit some of jesse and celine’s conversations from before sunrise into arthur aron’s question set for accelerating intimacy between 2 strangers. (remember how someone tried this out in real life, and wrote about it in the new york times?). i’ve put in some quotes that don’t don’t directly answer the prompts, but i think they hit at the heart of them anyway. before sunset version to follow eventually, hopefully.

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Celine: I think I'm afraid of death 24 hours a day. I swear. I mean, that's why I'm in a train right now. I could have flown to Paris, but I'm too scared...When I'm in a plane, I can see it. I can see the explosion. I can see me falling through the clouds, and I'm so scared of those few seconds of consciousness before you're gonna die.

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? Celine: But you know what, if your parents never really fully contradict you about anything, and like are basically nice, and supportive, it makes it even harder to officially complain. You know, even when they're wrong, it's this, it's this passive-aggressive shit, you know what I mean, it's...I hate it, I really hate it.

Jesse: Well, you know, despite all that kind of bullshit that comes along with it, I remember childhood as this, you know, this magical time.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. Celine: You know, my parents never really spoke about the possibility of my falling in love, or getting married, or having children. Even as a little girl, they wanted me to think of a future career, as an interior designer or a lawyer or something. I’d say to my dad, “I want to be a writer,” and he’d say, “journalist.” I’d say I wanted to have a refuge for stray cats, and he’d say, “veterinarian.” I’d say I wanted to be an actress, and he’d say, “TV newscaster.” It was this constant conversion of my fanciful ambition into these practical, money-making ventures.

Jesse: I always had a pretty good bullshit detector when I was a kid. I always knew when they were lying to me, you know. By the time I was in high school, I was dead set on listening to what everybody thought I should be doing with my life, and just kind of doing just the opposite.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory? Jesse: My great-grandmother had just died, and my whole family had just visited them in Florida. I was about 3, 3 and a half years old. Anyway, I was in the backyard, playing, and my sister had just taught me how to take the garden hose, and do it in such a way that you could spray it into the sun, and you could make a rainbow. And so I was doing that, and through the mist I could see my grandmother. And she was just standing there, smiling at me. And then I held it there, for a long time, and I looked at her. And then finally, I let go of the nozzle, you know, and then I dropped the hose, and she disappeared. And so I went back inside, and I tell my parents, you know. And they sit me down give me big rap on how when people die you never see them again, and how I'd imagined it. But I knew what I'd seen. And I was just glad that I saw that.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why? Celine: Everything is so finite. Jesse: But don’t you think that’s what makes our time and specific moments so important?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? Celine: I think I can really fall in love when I know everything about someone. The way he’s going to part his hair, which shirt he’s going to wear that day, knowing the exact story he’d tell in a given situation.

Jesse: Love is a complex issue...I mean, yes, I had told somebody that I love them before, and I had meant it. Was it totally a totally unselfish, giving love? Was it a beautiful thing? Not really, you know.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. imaginary telephone conversation:

Céline: He has beautiful blue eyes, nice big lips, greasy hair, I love it. He's kind of tall, and a little clumsy. I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away. He kind of kisses like an adolescent, its so cute. Yeah, we kissed. It was so adorable. As the night went on, I began to like him more and more.

Jesse: You know how they say we're all each others' demons and angels? Well, she was literally a Botticelli angel. Just telling me that everything was gonna be okay...She was sitting next to this very weird couple who started fighting so she had to move. She sat right across the aisle from me. So we started to talk, and she didn't like me much at first. She's super smart, very passionate, um... and beautiful. And I was so unsure of myself. I thought everything I said sounded so stupid.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s? Celine: I really can't complain about anything. You know, [my parents] love me more than anything in the world, and I have been raised with all the freedom they had fought for. And yet for me now, it's another type of fight. We still have to deal with the same old shit, but we can't really know who, or you know, what the enemy is.

Jesse: Everybody’s parents fucked them up. Rich kids’ parents gave them too much. Poor kids’, not enough. You know, too much attention, not enough attention. They either left them or they stuck around and taught them the wrong things. I mean, my parents are just these two people who didn't like each other very much, who decided to get married and have a kid, and the try their best to be nice to me.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Jesse: I remember my mother once. She told me, right in front of my father, they were having this big fight, that he didn't really want to have me, you know, that he was really pissed off when he found out that she was pregnant with me, you know, that I was this big mistake. And I think that really shaped the way I think. I always saw the world as this place where I really wasn't meant to be.

Céline: I think [I’m close with my grandmother] because I always... I always have this strange feeling that I am this very old woman laying down about to die. You know, that my life is just her memories, or something.

Set III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ...”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ...” Celine: So often in my life, I have been with people or shared beautiful moments like traveling or staying up all night and watching the sunrise. And I knew those were special moments, but something was always wrong. I wish I’d been with someone else. I knew that what I was feeling, exactly what was so important to me, they didn’t understand. But I’m happy to be with you.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know. Celine: I told him the story about the woman that kills her ex-boyfriend, and stuff. He must be scared to death. He must be thinking I'm this manipulative, mean woman. I just hope he doesn't feel that way about me, because you know me, I'm the most harmless person. The only person I could really hurt is myself.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met. see #22

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life. Jesse, on his recent breakup: I didn’t want to see anybody I knew. I just wanted to be a ghost. Completely anonymous.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself? not crying, but #29

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already. Celine (telephone conversation): We were in the lounge car, and he began to talk about him as a little boy, seeing his great-grandmother’s ghost. I think that’s when I feel for him. Just the idea of this little boy with all those beautiful dreams. He trapped me.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? Céline: I... I kind of didn't really like this reaction back at the palm reader. You were like this rooster prick...You were like a little boy whining because all the attention wasn't focused on him.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? Jesse: If somebody gave me the choice right now of to never see you again or to marry you, I would marry you. And maybe that’s a lot of romantic bullshit, but people have gotten married for a lot less.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why? Celine: I used to think that if none of your family or friends knew you were dead, it was like not really being dead. People can invent the best and the worst for you.

[she discusses the death of her grandmother in Before Sunset]

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

[cipherr]

my mom’s relationship with my grandmother pretty much just fell apart today and she’s probably not going to speak to any of us again, all because she’s been helping out with babysitting my 7 year old, extremely difficult sister, and she can’t stand my stepdad, and she’s had enough, and blew up at mom

she accused my mom of taking my stepdad’s side--

my emotionally abusive and toxic stepfather--

who mom has been trying to formulate a plan to safely get him out of our lives without having it blow up into a huge potentially violent thing that’s just going to screw up my little sister more than it already has

and boy is she messed up

so now my mom, who still works more than 40 hours a week, is left with no choice but to dump my little sister on me so i’m stuck with all the babysitting duties when she’s at work

because my stepdad can’t be trusted with his own daughter

i don’t like kids, okay? i am not fit to be a parent. i can’t be a parent. what my sister needs is a parent, and i can’t do right by her. not to the extent that she needs. because that kid needs some help. i’m not equipped to handle this. i do not want this. i have to do it because my mom has no other choice. i feel so trapped. i want to get out of here, i need to move out, but i need a job to do that and i am not mentally stable or even physically strong enough to handle that. i can’t even handle being here.

my anxiety is bad again and the depression i haven’t seen since freshman year of college is coming back too. everything’s a mess and falling apart. i have not eaten since saturday night. i have dance tonight and i don’t know how i’m going to make it. 

AS IF ALL THIS WASN’T FUCKING ENOUGH.

my mom just wrecked her brand new, two month old, $50,000 van this morning. the insurance guy was just here and the damage is so much worse than we thought. it’s barely not-totaled. 

her mental state is so bad and she’s so unstable that i’m seriously worried something’s going to happen to her too. mom and i aren’t close and we haven’t been close for a decade and a half, but obviously i do worry. the whole reason she had this accident this morning was because she was too distracted thinking about everything going to shit with her mother that she wasn’t paying attention to the road. it’s unsafe. 

her leg got banged up and it bled and it’s really swollen and i’m already concerned about how the blood clots in her legs because she stands for 13 hours a day, multiple days a week for her job, and when she comes home her ankles are swollen like tree trunks. i told her i really think she should go get it checked out just to be safe but it’s the last thing on her mind right now and i don’t think she will.

the car i’ve been using is a mess, and we were going to get rid of it and buy my grandma’s car off her and use that instead. but since everything with her fell apart i guess that’s not happening. so now mom and i have to share this 26 year old Subaru that, in the terms of our car guy friend, “lights up like a Christmas tree” every other time you get in because there’s so much going wrong with it. 

we have to share this vehicle for possibly up to three months, because of all the complications with the only decent reputable auto body shops in town being booked so far down the line that they don’t even have parking spaces for all the damaged cars they have to work on, plus the fact that mom’s van is a 2018 with a brand new body style and the only way to get parts for it--and she’s going to need a lot, pretty much the right side of the vehicle needs replaced--is through the factory. plus the insurance company will have all sorts of problems trying to file information on a vehicle that is so new it’s not even fully in their systems yet.

i can’t?? do this????? and i’m just a fucking passenger along for the ride, most of everything that’s been going wrong is riding on my mom’s head and she’s got so much more to deal with than i do, so much more on her plate, and i’m just fucking sitting here with no job and it feels like my life is falling apart

so i won’t even get into my personal self esteem and guilt issues lmfao

i swear

to god

there must be a curse upon my family

how could it all be so bad

why do bad things just happen one after another so relentlessly, every single time 

when it rains, it fucking pours, and it pours so much and for so long it’s a wonder there’s any water left elsewhere on this earth

[jeichanhaka]

If Any Would Avenge: 26

Chapter 26: Fiends and Fools

Outside Storybrooke:

Watching covertly across the parking lot as Henry left the diner and headed towards his motorcycle, Isaac held his breath, lying low enough in his car that the nineteen year old failed to notice him. Not that it was difficult, night having fallen over the area not that long ago, covering most of the area in darkness. He continued watching, not taking his eyes off of Henry until the teenager started his motorbike and drove off. And even then he only glanced away for a moment, just long enough to start his own vehicle.

When he shifted his gaze back, he sucked in a breath, startled by a large black bird zipping in front of his windshield. Every muscle in his body tensed, his eyes wide with some mix of anxiety and dread. It took a few moments for him to settle his heart, the fowl flying off oblivious to his concern.

"It was just a black bird, nothing to worry about." Isaac muttered, grabbing the steering wheel and gazing towards where Henry had driven. Beside him on the passenger seat laid a journal embossed with a gilded skull-bug design on its cover.

"Is that so?" A voice chided him, chilling him and nearly causing him to jump out of the car. It chuckled at Isaac's fear. "Tsk. That won't do. You know I'm not really here, so jumping out of your car like the devil was chasing you would only make you seem crazy."

"...Nemesis." Isaac breathed in slowly, steadying his nerves enough to drive. "What do you want?"

"Nothing. I'm just here to inform you my plan is going along swimmingly. Aside from a minor future aberration." The youth gloated, an ethereal phantom version of himself reclining on the back seat of Isaac's car. "But I'm sure I can persuade her to not interfere."

"Good for you." Isaac muttered sarcastically, keeping his eyes on the road - though only partly for safety; But instead mostly to avoid glancing at the phantom lying on his back seat.

"Do you really think getting Henry to write me back into the story will stop me? That giving me a new story will give me a change of heart?" Nemesis inquired, bemused by how the ex-Author avoided glancing at him and tried to block him out. But, though Isaac could avoid looking at Nemesis, he couldn't stop listening. Even if he didn't need his hands to drive, plugging his ears wouldn't help in the slightest. Not when the voice was in your head. "You should know it won't. You created me."

"...I know." Isaac muttered, bristling; his hands clenched the steering wheel tighter. His attention focused on the road before him, though it was becoming harder to pay attention to his driving. Especially when the youth's voice grew louder, the phantom sitting up and resting its head closer to Isaac. At least it appeared that way.

"Then why bother?" The youth asked, tilting his head, the curious design of the leather journal glowing in response to his curiosity. "After all, when I succeed, you will also. Your happy ending will return same as my beginning. I'd have thought you'd leap at the chance to have it all back. Everything. That was the wish in your heart, the spark that lit my way out from the void. The same spark which revealed this book to you." He gestured towards the journal.

Isaac shivered, closing his eyes as he struggled to ignore Nemesis. The truth in the youth's words stung him, piercing his heart more painful than he'd ever thought possible. A horn bleating drew his attention back to the road, and he just managed to swerve in time to avoid crashing into an incoming car. He swore under his breath, tense from the close call and from the youth laughing at him. "...I'm not going to help you. Not anymore."

"Why not? You were thrilled at the prospect of helping me just a year ago when I needed aid in delaying my parent's leaving Storybrooke." The youth drawled, his eyes shifting towards the pendant. "You had no qualms about binding yourself to that book, or sacrificing your little feathered friend in order to give me form. So why develop a conscience now?"

Isaac scowled. "You killed a child! That's why! Your plan...you never once mentioned it required killing Gideon. Not to mention Belle's unborn child."

"Technically, Captain Kidd killed Gideon. And he was only too happy to oblige, considering he could blame it on Killian." Nemesis grinned, before vanishing and reappearing in the front passenger seat. "As for what Fortunato did...I simply gave him the order to collect the blood price Maurice owed. Through whatever method he wanted. He could have simply killed Maurice. Or sped up my dear mother's pregnancy before killing her and her father, sparing the wee babe. But..." He shrugged, his eyes cold and a smug smile plastered to his face.

"You...twisted...evil..." Isaac growled, pulling over to the shoulder of the road. There was no way he'd be able to listen to the youth and continue to drive safely. "You know what that fiend is like. You knew or suspected he would kill the unborn child. You knew. He wants to end the Montresor's line, and he thinks Belle's..."

Nemesis shrugged. "...You could always have tried stopping him. He was canvassing Storybrooke for weeks, if not months before attacking. And that emblem there," He gestured towards the skull-bug design imprinted on the journal cover. "It would've negated any protection spell on the town, allowing you in. You could've found him...shown him that journal, had him read the truth in its pages. Hell, you could've warned Maurice, or Belle. Or Rumplestiltskin. Or anyone." He paused, allowing his words to sink into Isaac's thoughts. "You didn't though. Why was that, I wonder?"

"I..." Isaac covered his face with his hands, a feeling he'd seldom had nibbling away at him. Regret. "...I don't know."

"Yes, you do." The youth laughed and shook his head. "You wanted to get it back. Your happy ending. The one my nephew took from you when he erased your book. That is what you wanted. What you still want. You forget, even erased, I am my father's son - I know what motivates people. And you...despite the cost, want me to succeed. It's the only way you'll get your happy ending back. Be a famous author. Wealthy. Beloved." Nemesis leered at Isaac, his phantom voice gnawing deeper and echoing through the ex-Author's soul itself. "Now, be a good dear, and help me get my page back. Fortunato let that fool George take it."

"I'm not even in Storybrooke. Why don't you command Fortunato to get it back if he lost it?"

"Because he's…getting his comeuppance at the moment."

Isaac's eyes widened and his throat went dry. "You're saying the Dark One has him? But if that's the case, then he'll know that I…."

"Oh, don't worry. It's not my father who has Fortunato. But rather my mother."

"Your...But Belle doesn't have magic and she's good, she won't stand a chance against Fortunato." Isaac shook his head, bewildered by the calmness of the youth. "She'll be killed."

"No. She won't. Fortunato made a mistake. One he can't escape the consequences of." The youth reclined in the seat, a small, satisfied smile on his face.

The cavern beneath the library was wide, filled with rock and shadows, and a stale stench of dust and age. Standing in the middle of the cavern, Belle gazed around, taking in the dark and dreary and cold environment. No one had been down here in awhile, nor would anyone consider coming down anytime soon. There would be no point. That's what made it the perfect prison for the monster Fortunato. All she needed was to create his cell.

"You can't…." Fortunato growled, glaring at Belle and struggling against the magic binds limiting his movement. His crimson eyes gleamed in frustration at the strength of the magic Belle had used - it was stronger than he'd expected.

Other than glancing at the vampiric assassin, Belle ignored Fortunato, instead focusing her gaze on the cavern wall. Searching for the darkest, most obscured corner, one that no one would notice or hear any screams coming from it. Her heart thumped when she noticed the perfect spot, and without a word she raised her hand and blasted open a crevice just large enough to fit a person. Watching the rock crumble, forming a perfect rectangular recess in the cavern wall, Belle chewed her lip, hesitance in her eyes for the first time since stepping foot in the cavern.

"You…." Fortunato bristled seeing the recess, and bared his fangs, struggling more vehemently to escape his magically binds. Centuries old memories flashed back to him, of when Montresor had trapped him in his family crypt. All for some petty reason the man never cared to divulge. "I swear, if you put me in that...I'm going to make you pay. To hurt. To suffer worse…."

"Worse?" Belle rounded on Fortunato, the monster's words sinking into her ears broke through her hesitance. "Suffer worse?! I just lost my children. There is nothing that is worse than that! Nothing you can do could ever be worse than you've already done to me. To my family." She hissed and with a flourish with her hand, pushed the vampiric assassin into the recess. Another swish of her hand, and two sets of manacles appeared around Fortunato's wrists and ankles, shackling him to the wall. "You better get comfortable. You're going to rot in here until you shrivel into a husk as empty and dark as your heart."

"Well…." Fortunato leered at Belle, a smirk on his lips but one without any amusement or mirth or snideness. Just cold anger. "I once commented that your father reminded me of Montresor, but you standing here, remind me of that bastard a whole lot more. I can't see any resemblance to Isobelle Fortuné in you now."

"Isobelle? That was my…."

"Your great, great, great...whatever, grandmother. Yeah." Fortunato stretched his head forward as far as he could, glowering at Belle with glowing scarlet eyes. "I knew her. She freed me from Montresor's crypt. So ironic that her descendant would put me back in a similar prison."

"...she should've kept you entombed."

"Perhaps. But then your story would've been vastly different had she - the first Beauty - not saved the Beast."

"...what?" Belle stared at the shackled assassin, shaking her head in disbelief. "You...you can't be equating my ancestor freeing you with me and Rumplestiltskin."

"Not equating. No. It was more a...precursor." Fortunato replied, his angry countenance fading the longer his interment was delayed. "I don't exactly originate from a realm with happy endings or true love. Or even random acts of kindness. The stories there were more...dark. Cruel. Old-school, grim tales. Not your Enchanted Forest trite, good-always-triumphs shtick." He paused a moment, before resuming upon seeing the look on Belle's face. "I'm not mentioning it to excuse my actions. Just to illustrate that the ability to care for or love someone isn't natural to me. But I cared for Isobelle - she freed me. And no matter how much I wanted my revenge against Montresor's line, I couldn't kill her. I've had the opportunity a few times. But I couldn't." A pause and he leaned his head closer to Belle, his voice much lower. "And I don't know what her feelings were exactly, but she did take the name Fortuné."

"I...I don't…why are you even mentioning this? Why…?" Belle muttered, staring at her prisoner and trying to get her brain to fathom his words and the reasons for them.

"To show that my heart may be twisted but it's not as shriveled as you assume or…." Fortunato sneered and pulled at the chains holding his arms, snapping the left chain and freeing that arm. "...to lessen your anger and with it your magic." He growled and reached for Belle's neck, only to be pushed back against the wall, the beauty's reflexes quicker than his. Before he could do more than growl unintelligibly, Belle sealed the opening with rocks; her magic melding them together into a single slab of stone. As she sealed the seams between the slab and the rest of the wall, Fortunato shouted. "You will suffer worse! I cursed the blade I stabbed you with. YOU WILL NEVER BEAR ANOTHER CHILD!"

"What…." Belle blanched as the rock sealed itself up seamlessly, the monster's words cutting through her and piercing her heart anew. Her chest and gut tightened, denial stuck in her throat. "No...you lie. You…tell me that's a lie. Fortunato! Tell me that's a lie! TELL ME!"

She shouted at the wall, her voice quickly straining from repeated yelling. Her fists growing red with blood and bruising as she slammed them against the wall, trying to get some answer. The magic she'd had moments ago gone, drained away the moment the rock was sealed.

"Tell Me!" She cried again, her voice hoarse and throat sore. But all that greeted her was a brief sprout of laughter and then silence. Suffocating silence.