#because i always go back
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I'm in one of those weird creative ruts where I have an idea, and some threads of what could happen, but I have no idea how to start it
#i could take a thread and write a scene that takes place anywhere in the plot#but i normally do bits like that as a bit of stretching excercise#to warm up or take a break from the main body#rarely if ever do they actually contribute to anything#in this case kick starting it#im a start to finish beginning to end fly by my pants writer#i get an idea start walking with it and eventually head into a full on sprint#twenty to thirty chapters later i slow down to a crawl and collapse#and i pick it back up later#because i always go back#even if it takes literal years#for a good few months that story is half of what i am#but anyway#i can't quite find the way to the starting gate for this#one#i see it#but the path is all foggy#I also see a few barbed wire fields and a couple of mazes and a pond on the track from where I'm standing#i digress#im grasping at air right now
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"Death's child"
twitter | bluesky | insta | 🔞 patre*n
#.... sorry#agathario#agatha all along#rio vidal#agatha harkness#nicholas scratch#i was overcome with the concept of Nicky always sensing Rio#as a metaphor for Death looming over him both out of love and quite literally... you choose#But mainly it was the concept of Rio not showing herself to Nicky ever#and not being able to touch him at all#not because it's a certainty that he'd pass#but because she didn't know if he would or not. couldn't risk any contact#not knowing if it would be a self fulfilling prophecy or not#idk if i'm making sense but EITHER WAY#there are a few ways to interpret this comic#in the first draft Agatha was smiling fondly#in this one it's bitter sweet. her saying ''he loves you so'' is also for herself#despite everything#they both love Rio#and on that note! i'm going back to bed. i'm sick as hell#BYE#maryneart
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if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing
#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate.#you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you#think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth.#then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty#house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive#this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died.#and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first#place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever#given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and#you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's#everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you#have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love#more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me.#real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you.#and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love.#lit#the hunger games#everlark#otp: real or not real?#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#text#tais toi lys#thgpost#*
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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Burning Rotten Bridges
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mianmian#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#JGY is nothing but outwardly calm and carrying on his duties as the chair for the meeting#but in that small pause after Nie Mingjue commemorates Mianmian for leaving...you can feel the tension.#Because Nie Mingjue comes from a place of privilege. He's always been in a position where his legitimacy and political standing-#-were never challenged. He didn't have to fight for respect. He was born into this world respected.#For people like Mianmian and JGY who clawed their way up from the bottom...this is a huge deal.#Truth be told I have a lot of things to say about what it means and feels to be in a position where leaving is messy.#There are times where the situation is bad but to leave means that those years of your life will have been for nothing.#That all the other suffering incurred will be fruitless. So you just *keep going*. Because it *has* to be worth it.#Because going back to what you were before is even more terrifying than the hell you are boiling in.#My concrete example for this is post-grad academia.#Because that cohort will have spent over a decade pursuing a goal and leaving means...well...it means throwing away those years.#It means losing (likely nearly all) your connections. It means going into debt you'll never pay off.#It means putting up with some pretty heinous abuse from your supervisor because what are you suppose to do? Leave?#Leaving is for those with the privilege to have options.#And even if you do have options...#Ultimately we would rather love the pain we know than risk the unknown. Hoping it's worth it one day.#With that mindset established; never say JGY should have just left like Mianmian. He couldn't. This was what he dedicated his life to.#He never had the option. Even if it seemed like he did - no he did not. He never conceived this ending ever happening for himself.
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SNOW BOTS ARE BACK BABE, IF IT WILL BE LIKE THAT EVERY YEAR I MIGHT DIE ONE DAY OF HAPPINESS WHEEEZE (I mean, drawing them like that is so much faster, plus colors, plus snow, plus they all are alive, COME ON IT'S A DREAM) Go smooch @keferon and everyone who makes "everyone is happy" content wheeeeeze
#snow bots au#transformers#maccadam#OF COURSE I GOT MY BOIS BACK#They have a car they ride separately and they like to show the car off#Perceptor#Brainstorm#Hook#Scavenger#and others from their “family” but they are not seen or it is my hand begging me to stop it hasn't recovered fully yet bruh#I bet Minimus and Megatron are already inside sipping tea and watching them going inside the building#I already wonder if since it is the second year like this#Maybe Optimus also somehow found this place to relax after many years and just sees them all#And Megatron#I want them to recover here too ngghhh#I also was thinking of scavengers and Grimlock but ahah I have a feeling they hang out in a bit different places where less people#ALSO EHEGHEGEHEEH it's so cool to think of every group arriving together or separately in different days#I have a feeling that Tailgate Cyclonus and Whirl will arrive pretty late. Alway forgetting something and coming back because of it until#they just “OH just leave it be let's go already”#Group of docs arriving almost as the first ones#Okay I better run I didn't even have breakfast just jumped on it the moment saw it coming back
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its always “we should beat up and kill rapists and abusers!” but the moment someone actually does you all turn on them
#gypsy rose blanchard#amber heard#menendez brothers#lyle menendez#erik menendez#because i am SICK and TIRED of it#its always “why didn’t they fight back?” until they do#you will never understand what it’s like to be a victim of abuse until you are one#so don’t speak on it#and even when they do everything “right”#when they go to police and leave them and keep their distance#they are still victimised and end up dead. just look at nicole brown#anyways fuck johnny depp fuck deedee blanchard and fuck the menendez parents
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This is what happened after 3.1 isn't it?
#hsr#phaidei#phaidei nation I humbly offer thee a low quality meme to cope with the doomed yaoi that was going on#phainon#honkai star rail#fellas is it gay for your red coded rival to your blue coded rival to clasp his hands over your own after you stabbed him#due to thinking he was the objective of your revenge quest#pull your sword deeper in and by consequence add to your proximity while smiling and fondly say “Found you.”?#Was it casual when you had an insanely charged and homoerotic scene in the hot baths that had you face down on the ground at his feet?#no but seriously these two have me in a chokehold#what do you MEAN you told him your precise weak spot just in case you became you turned against his cause#and his presumed future EMIYA Archer coded shadow self immediately went precisely for it?#and you KNOW you'll die with a wound in that weak spot in your back and you told him about it anyway#and you tell people to keep an eye on him after you go to meet your fate and then ask him to watch over your people#and he says he'll work hard to learn your language#AND FINALLY#“If there's a chance in the next life you should come visit my library.” WHAT IF I PERISHED ON THE SPOT?!#that's their “See you in the next world.”; their “Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck.”;#their “I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.”; “You were a wonderful experience. You were everything.” etc etc#they make me ill (positive)#also I find it so funny that as a KevinSu shipper in HI3rd I went into Star Rail expecting for the dynamic to be more coded with Anaxa#only for Phaidei to hit literally all of my points and favorite tropes in a ship and by consequence my head with a steel chair lol#really hope we see Mydei again soon because literally the first thing Phainon does after he's gone is talk about him all the time#he is a professional yearner and I respect him for it (especially since I too miss Mydei as if he's Odysseus going off to war and sea#for 20 years and I'm Penelope waiting at the shores of Ithaca)#also sorry for the low quality screenshot I was literally too invested in the quest to try and take better ones#gotta love how Hoyoverse is always giving the Kaslanas some of the best romances in their games and ESPECIALLY so if they're queer#myphai
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Do you have any final theories/desires for Book 7 Part 12?
(slamming fists on table) I DEMAND MORE CHE'NYA
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 12 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 12 spoilers#to be fair i am always in a state of lowkey wanting more che'nya#let him crash cater's pizza party!!!!#i wanna see cater skateboard up that big ol' tower to slam some za with a neon purple cat#truly this is the most radical dream yet#golly. i do try not to speculate too much but the 3-part split has me VERY intrigued#like yeah it most likely is just because hearts has a lot of boys#so it's probably cater and one of adeuce -> trey and the other adeuce -> riddle#but i am curious what's gonna happen after riddle's dream. because we'll have the party all together#and we gotta segue back into malleus somehow...#man i was wondering if the subchaptering of the subchapters was a one-off or if it was gonna be a consistent thing from here on#i guess we're gonna be getting smaller but more frequent drops from now on?#i am into that (keep up the hype!) but i'm surprised that it'll be happening just...around other events#main story has become unstuck in time and is just floating around the schedule now#we're gonna be locked in battle with cater's subconscious while deuce is over there in a parallel timeline trying on crop tops#makes me wonder what's going on in that production schedule...#lemme see those gantt charts twst
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Happy new year !
I was @cinis0 and @lunaopus's gifter in the Adjunation server gift exchange ! You two asked for some Wild content, so I delivered :D
(This is supposed to be in a "webtoon" format, so the experience will be better if you don't click on the images, I just couldn't make it one picture it was too heavy—)
#linked universe#lu wild#lu chain#lu legend#lu hyrule#lu time#lu twilight#(gonna tag only the boys who talk but EVERYONE IS HERE YAY)#I spend very long on this comic and am very proud of it. I hope you'll enjoy !!#adjunation new year's gift exchange 2024#my art#edit because I keEP FORGETTING LEGEND'S PINK HAIR why do this always happen it's one of my favorite design detail of him !!#So you understand I legally had to go back and fix it
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no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh
#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanart#ahsoka tano#captain rex#anyway i bring you this a) because i'm going back to my tcw roots of late and b) because i miss them terribly#as you can see because i can't handle reality i put her in the novel design#cause wdym they split up after order 66 haha what no that didn't happen you're crazy#read it however you want idc ^^)b any interpretation of their dynamic is the best one i think#yea anyway in this amount of time i've gotten a lot better at anatomy and i don't really care about social media anymore#but i have like nowhere to put my art now so *shrug*#star wars the clone wars#artists on tumblr#i've wanted to do one of those post-type drawings and i am .-+ too lazy +-. to color it sooo#signature got cropped sigh. whatever#if you see a mistake no you don't. you know the drill#also i finally watched bad batch season 3 around christmastime and hewiutgeh.#singlehandedly took the show from a 4 to a 10 for me so thx dave filoni we love u as always >>>#lowk kinda missed it here *gazes fondly at the bot spam and screaming and cursing in my feed*#btw i have never used instagram in my life so if this is formatted wrong it's your fault. bye#someone tell me whether or not i should tag this as rxsk because i am very much debating#does tumblr even like them anymore ?? i know ao3 does they're still going crazy over there (>1k works God bless)#“bro's first post back and she's yapping her head off” cmon you know me by now anyway can we talk about season 7 ahsoka#i find no fault in her. she is perfect. she is the greatest version of any star wars character ever at all#no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told her about fives. no i will not be thinking about whether or not anyone told echo#ok that's enough bye i'll wait for this to get four notes at most and three of them being comments screaming at me#one more thing uhh suspend your disbelief since anakin liked the post. rots didn't happen and everything is fine !!#my art
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so the good place is widely lauded on this site for its takes on morality and capitalism, which i totally agree with
but i think it should get more recognition for the line "all humans are aware of death. so we're all a little bit sad all the time. that's just the deal. we don't get offered any better ones. and if you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. i've been there, and everybody's been there. so don't fight it. in the words of a very wise bed bath and beyond employee i once knew - go ahead and cry all you want. but you're gonna have to pay for that toilet plunger."
#i dunno i've been thinking about grief lately#and i think the nature of humanity is everyone's grieving something#it might not always be as straightforward as the death of a loved one - sometimes it is#but sometimes you're grieving a life you never got to live#the person you used to be#hell an old toy you just realised you lost years ago and are never going to get back#we're all just a little bit sad all the time#and i think looking at the world like that makes it a lot more friendly place#because everyone is someone who needs a bit of comfort - or just someone to say hey its okay to be sad and angry and confused#and when you're finally ready to let whatever you're grieving go the world will be a happier place#and you'll find a new thing to grieve because there's always something to be a little bit sad about#but the world keeps getting better for every one you get through and every friend who helps you through it#and sometimes you just need to throw a dumb joke in there at the end#that's what it means to be human#the good place#tgp
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To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately
#disability#currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it#people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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i need to watch more false, she's so cool
#art#doodle#mcyt#hermitcraft#falsesymmetry#i'm always going back and forth on whether or not i want to give her bird legs#the argument for people legs btw is that i get to give her big chunky boots#there is no argument needed for bird legs because bird legs simply rock
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the fact that irving canonically survives through the end of asunder to be at wynne's funeral is so fucking funny to me. nothing but love and respect for MY unstoppable cockroach morally grey machiavellian mage dad!!! he's survived in his position through multiple attempted rites of annulment and blood mage plots popping up left right and center around him. the chantry keeps trying to stamp him out but his dodge game is simply out of this world, divine. civil wars, political machinations and minefields, chantry atrocities, this wily old motherfucker is dodging and weaving his way through it all, not-quite-no-hits-taken-running-it-but-honestly-close-enough-under-the-circumstances style. if solas does succeed in tearing down the veil I would fully believe that one of the like three people still alive at the end of it all would be a very weary 90 year old first enchanter irving going 'oh this shit again huh'. the maker has cursed him for his hubris and his paperwork is never finished (affectionate, it's fine he canonically loves paperwork)
#we should have had the option to leave him in the fade instead of hawke or a warden#he would've just annoyedly shuffled his way back out of there a week later#dragon age#dragon age origins#first enchanter irving#he must be SO annoying to the chantry because it's heavily implied he's made his playground#out of tirelessly finding technicalities and loopholes to exploit that they can't *quite* call him on without domino effects going off#I think first enchanter in the circle system at origins times is a position that invariably and inevitably leaves you morally compromised#but I feel he really does his best within the rules he's given to play with and personally i love him a bit for that. and also#for being an unkillable lil shit. insufferable. inconquerable in his 'I'm about to be such an annoyance to you' impish spirit.#the I'm going to suffer but guess what. so are you of it all. traumatize the chantry back#I just imagine sophia sending letters home right before the vote for independence like '...dad I am hearing some INSANE rumours out here#what the actual fuck is going on back home???'#and he's like 'nothing that you need to worry about sweetie just keep living your best life and have fun killing darkspawn <3'#(there's something that makes me feel So much about how consistently his stance is like... 'you'll always be welcome here#but the circle doesn't *need* you; go be a warden and live your life'. he managed to fineagle freedom for you somehow and won't let you#turn and glance back. not even once. I feel somehow both so abandoned and so incredibly loved it's wild)#oc: sophia amell
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