#because i also just rolled a monk for a different campaign

[ragsy]

workin' on a fresh new dnd character! M.A.G. (Maggie) the warforged paladin. who is also kind of a large bug, in a way

[justablah56]

*looking back at you with my big autism eyes* You should tell me about rwd. After your sleep. Eepy time, Aether

HIHIHIHIHIU OK YAY OK . ok . im all sleeped up and I'm going to be so insane at you ok . gonna put it under a read more though because . I'm about to be so insane .

SO ! rolling with difficulty , as you can probably tell from the title , is a dnd podcast . mechanics wise , it's on like . the complete opposite side of the spectrum from dndads lmao- they're still very story driven , but they're a lot more crunchy , very following the rules as written but like finding loopholes in them because for funsies . they do little 20 minute bonuses each time the crew levels up so you know exactly what each character is getting and all their new stuff , I actually really like those . the episodes are 3-5 hours long , but each season is only like 10 episodes . and it's not split up into each season is a campaign and it gets very confusing sometimes sbnxjsnxnd like the first campaign (the one I'm autism about) is the first 5 seasons , and they only just finished season 1 od their second campaign . anyways ! most of this stuff is why idk how many dndads listeners will be willing to listen to this but that's ok 👍

NOW !!! as for what its actually about !!! (at least campaign one I'm probably not gonna talk a lot about campaign two) it's about a crew of four silly guys on a space plane ship ! it uses the planescape dnd setting , basically like all the planes of existence in dnd canon exist on different planes that can be traveled between through portals or like the plane shift spell , or , in the cast of our beloved crew , you have a spell jammer , which is a ship that can cast plane shift and you can sail between planes and it's very cool . anyways , the crew consists of kyana - a human monk , finbar - a firbolg (giant kin fae thing) druid/ranger multi-class , VR-LA (pronounced veer-la) - a mechanite/warforged (robot) wizard , and Dani - a fire genasi artificer . the four of them basically live on their ship , the Per Aspera , which is owned by Dani's "Uncle" Otto , who sends them on little jobs and stuff and he's also kind of an asshole but I like him . they also take jobs from other people sometimes and then they forget to go back to Otto who gets pissed at them about it and it's silly . anyways . usually though , the seasons focus on an adventure relevant to one of the characters with other little jobs filling their spare time .

gonna very briefly talk about kyana and finbar just so you know those two before I go on a ridiculous rant about VR LA and Dani ok . so Finbar is just a middle aged firbolg (everyone else is like 20 except VR LA who's only been awake for a year ish) , hes a part of a chef's guild and makes it his responsibility to make sure these idiots don't get themselves killed either by y'know monsters , or just being stupid and forgetting to eat . and he's like 8 feet tall . he's a big guy . Kyana is just a little guy who ran away from her (evil) monk monastery and got found by the crew just . swimming . in the astral sea . which is the void between planes that spell jammers can sail on . insane . anyways . she has no idea what's going on because she's never been anywhere and she is precious and loves the world and loves these people who are nothing like how she was raised and isn't that wonderful ? I love her . and she's like 5'0 . shes literally a little guy <3

now I'm just gonna talk about VR LA bcs he's my little guy and I am spinning him around at record speeds inside my brain <3 his whole thing is basically that his previous crew on the per aspera got Got by a crew of space pirates , and he was the only one left . but then smthin happened and he lost all his memories and couldn't keep the ship like . flying . and eventually he shut down on that ship and was woken up by Dani , who had found the ship and made fixing it up her personal pet project bcs she's a little mechanic who saw a flying wreck and said I can fix her . and she did . and then she also saw the shut down robot on the ship and said I can fix him . and she did . this is how the ship belongs to Otto instead of VR LA , bcs he's like ohhhh Dani fixed it up and she's my employee and you don't even remember anything . anyways . Dani and VR LA are literally siblings to me . icy they're so important to me . the high int low wis siblings . that post I made a bit ago about how dndads doesn't have any characters who are like . little autistic brainiac smartasses . that's these two . both of them . and that is probably most of the reason why I'm so attached to them rn . like I need you to know that I did not recently listen to this podcast . I listened to this pretty soon after catching up on dndads two ish years ago and have just been like . passively into it this whole time . and now I'm like ok no I'm into this for real now . whoopsies . time to relisten and be autistic about this . and that's what ive been doing . anyways . back to the actual show <3

so Dani !!! she was found off the streets by Otto , who owns a little dnd fantasy mechanics shop , and he taught her how to be an artificer . shes incredibly smart , both like . street smarts . and literally anything mechanical . this comes with her being the biggest smartass known to man <3 she's very blunt but also very bad at expressing anything and is the least perceptive person ever (she has a passive perception of 9) she's a bitch and I love her so much <3 she's very snappy and abrasive and aggressive but also the ship is the single most important thing to her and it's not the ship without her crew and that is all she cares about <3 she doesn't give a shit about anything except for the ship she singlehandedly put back together and the people who live in it with her , and she would do anything for them . man . I love her icy .

now I'm gonna talk more about VR LA again bcs I'm not done with him <3 he's so abxnwjncjqnxjqmdn icy I love him . he just like me fr fr . he's also very smart , but he has . zero street smarts . ask him about anything and he probably knows something about it but ask him to talk to a person and he cannot . he does not know this . he continues trying to talk to people and like . persuade people and shit but he's so bad at it . icy he's so fucking bad at it . I love him so much . anyways , the other people on the per aspera are literally the only people he has and the only thing that could come close to them in terms of importance is his old crew , and yet he still picks Kyana and Finbar and Dani over them . man . icy this is a whole thing that I am very extremely ABJDJSNCHSBXHJA about . VR LA is a guy who has no memory of his old life but he knows it happened and he knows he used to have a crew of people he cared about but he can't even remember their names . (at the start) there aren't a lot of things that vr la actually cares about . he's very passive and like I'm staying with this ship because it's all I have even if it's not even legally mine anymore , and I'm staying with Dani because she's the only person I've ever really known . icy they're so siblings to me . ohuufhfggg . however !!! the one other thing he really *wants* is to know about his old life . he wants to know who was important to him before and he wants to know if they're okay even if he doesn't know them . it makes me ill . but he has his crew , and while those people might have been important to the old VR LA , Kyana and Finbar and Dani are important to *now* VR LA . so if it happens that along the way he can find out who he was , hed do anything to find them . but he has his people , and their safety and happiness is the single most important thing to him . if he will not lose a second crew . if hed have to hurt his current crew to find his first , then he's not going to find them . man . icy I could go on about this alone for hours . but I will not . anyways . silly little robot <3 I am so completely normal about him <3

also there's another silly robot named Maxim who you meet in s1 ep7 and I think him and VR LA should kiss . I'm not going to talk a ton about them beyond that but uhhh yeah . extremely repressed adhd sorcerer robot x extremely blunt autism wizard robot <3 Maxim hermit who is extremely emotionally intelligent but is very purposefully stomping out all the emotions because this is a purely professional relationship and we are here to professionally exchange mutually beneficial information and nothing else . VR LA adventurer who has never heard of romantic interest in his year of remembering being alive and just knows that he greatly enjoys Maxims company and he will tell him so despite having only just recently reconnected with him. and their compliments to each other are purely out of professional admiration . anyways .

and there you go ! and I didn't even really spoil anything past like the first few episodes <3 as you can see I am extremely normal about this podcast and it's characters <3 I went on for a lot longer than I thought I was going to but hey that's what happens when new hyperfixation <3

[severevoiddragon]

Hi!

Do you have a funny natural 1 story from your D&d campaign? :D

(Or any other story really I just love D&d)

OMG AN OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT MY CAMPAIGN !!!!

You get TWO stories and a background story bc I love talking bout my DnD campaign

So, to begin, the cast of PCs (all level 3 atm):

Hecate, a Tiefling Monk/Druid (she/her), the party's braincell but also notorious low roller

Nivaira, a Sun Elf Bard (they/them), deadpan and sarcastic but a prolific spellcaster

Izumi Luthien, a Half Elf Rogue (he/him), the party's angsty teen boy

Important NPCs:

Bella Banducci, human Sorcerer (she/her), joined the party at the party's request (I didn't WANT her to be a DMPC but the party insisted on her coming along-), used to live in a morally dubious circus

Ammon Luthien, Elf Wizard/Sorcerer (he/she/they), Izumi's half-sibling, childhood friend of Hecate and Nivaira (but separately), in love with Eiwin

Eiwin Tamiel, Human ? (He/they), works at an artefact store, in love with Ammon (I ship them sm <3)

Kilvar (he/him), Dwarf smith, one of two people to look after the bounties of the town they are in.

Relania (she/her), Human wizard, current antagonist for the party.

Background:

The party became a party at the request of Ammon, who mailed them a letter asking them to look for an amulet of Ammon's. He is currently hidden from an "evil presence", and the party are awaiting Ammon's next instruction. The town they are in now is Mytheas, a town by the sea. It's the kind of town where everyone knows everyone, and is just generally a pretty nice place to be. In the party's first adventure, Relania tried to be a friend, but ended up revealing herself as trying to steal the amulet, so the party tied her up and went to sleep, leaving her in a different room. She escaped and ran away. She is now trying to get the amulet.

The Bear Story:

The party, while working out what to do, decided they wanted to take up a bounty (I. Don't remember why now??? My party members on Tumblr pls help). The bounty they took was a small bounty (like. 50gp I think? I don't have my notes w me) for a big bear in the forest. The party talked with Kilvar about the bounty. The terms were to kill the bear, and bring 'proof of death'.

The party got there, killed the bear no problem. The problem came when they tried to carry the bear to Kilvar. You see, they misinterpreted proof of death not as a head or a paw or something, but. The whole. Bear. So, they all rolled Strength to try and carry it. Nivaira rolled very high, and carried most of the weight of the bear all the way from the forest to Kilvar's. Izumi rolled fairly well, so carried like. The back paw. And nothing else. Hecate rolled so badly that she tried to lift a paw of the bear and struggled so much that she walked alongside, giving motivation to the others, much to Izumi and Nivaira's disappointment. They got back, and they sent Hecate in to talk w Kilvar, since she didn't help carry. She rolled badly on the charisma check, and Kilvar responded with essentially "you idiots I just wanted the head". And Hecate just asked him to come outside to take the bear. He repeated what he said to the party, meaning Nivaira and Izumi were fuming. The players are still fuming to this day.

The Wolf Story:

Another bounty !! This time, for Aarpol, a huge wolf in the forest. He had two wolves that helped him. Nivaira, as a bard, can do poison spray, however they didn't cast many spells up until I reminded them they can cast spells. Poison spray, if you don't know, casts a 15ft cone of poison, and you take damage if you fail a constitution save. They cast the spell, and then we realised that Hecate was in the firing line. This was because Hecate had jumped on Aarpol and sat on its back, to punch it in the neck. Hecate and Aarpol had to do a con save. Aarpol failed. Yay ! Hecate....

Failed. She failed. She lost a lot of hp, and iirc she went unconscious? So there was Hecate on the back of a wolf, unconscious. Izumi (iirc?) killed the wolf, and Nivaira I THINK healed Hecate so she didn't have to death save.

Bonus story:

The party are currently on a quest in an evil mushroom place, and I do sleep rolls. 1-5 is bad sleep, barely slept. Useful if there's a goblin raid on your camp, but too many bad sleeps in a row cause exhaustion (3 in a row). 6-14 is moderate sleep. Normal sleep. Woke up if there's a goblin raid, but no exhaustion. 15-20 is amazing sleep, didn't wake up at all. Useful for no exhaustion, but slept right through the raid. Izumi has failed 2 sleep rolls in a row :>

Oh and Bella may or may not be poisoned by evil mushrooms I don't remember

[worddevourer]

Currently on the Rumblecusp part of S2 Critical role, and my thoughts are as follows:

Vilya uses Gust much like her daughter does, and I think that's very cute. That said, it also irks me a little bit how Matt will just go 'yeah, she uses Gust to boost herself getting up to a higher ledge,' and, similarly, the fact that she can make a thundercloud out of soot while underwater. Not because I don't think it's cool, but because I'm pretty sure if Keyleth had wanted to do that sort of thing, it would have been 2-3 minutes of 'well, I don't know, it's not really what it's intended to do' before he either said 'I'll allow it' or decided that was out of the purview of the spell.

From a Watsonian perspective, I really like the idea that Keyleth, as a kid, saw her mother doing really cool stuff with air cantrips and has spent her life trying (with limited success) to mimic those kinds of effects. From a Doylian perspective, I've heard enough to understand that apparently people had an axe to grind with Marisha, and that colored the extent to which she was allowed to bend the rules. Meanwhile, NPCs are allowed to operate on different rules from PCs, if for no other reason than to avoid the players having to sit through tedious rolls when things go wrong for them.

All that said, I appreciate the flip where in campaign 2, it went from 'I'm sorry, that's simply not what that spell is intended to do, and I don't want to bend the rules on it,' to 'monks have a range of skills that explicitly and textually bypass many of the common challenges I throw at my party, and- goddamn it my boss physically can't run away from her, and is also stunned again.'

I don't know how the conversation would have gone, but I... genuinely don't get why Matt made them roll initiative with the ghosts in the ruins. I listen back to it, and... Jester greets them, and suddenly they're in initiative order? I don't know what he was going for, but he's as good as saying 'this is a combat encounter now' and then after the fight, has an NPC go 'damn, I was hoping to maybe recruit them.' Baffles me a bit.

I really like the ambience of Rumblecusp. The persistent 'yeah, you feel like you're being watched?' The risk of memory loss? A genuinely unlikable villain? A village that raises some interesting questions about the rights of sentient beings and the nature of existence? It's a very creepy vibe, and I'm finding it very compelling thus far.

[dawns-downpour]

I have a list of who’s the smartest in my head, and although rivulet is high on crack most of the time, they’re my third smartest scug :D

here’s the list:

Monk - The beginner slugcat, baby mode, not very smart but very compassionate and loving, cares about the environment around them and doesn’t want to hurt any of the creatures around themself. Monk learns things, but forgets them easily through the heat of the moment, but always remembers their family and everything that they learned from them.

Nightcat - Not much is known about the watcher yet, but I’m gonna list them here though they should probably be higher up. They go through several different regions (new regions), and is supposedly going through a time where rot is in their campaign which causes them to have needs to problem solve, but without knowing directly I can’t give a great rating on them.

Survivor - The starter mode, helps you learn along w/ the scug everything that the game has to offer. But in general, I think survivor is a great learner and it relatively very smart, but just can’t put the mind to the actions most of the times due to mobility and not being the strongest of the scugs.

Artificer - Explosive, and compulsed by rage. She mainly remembers her pups, and any learning that isn’t going to help her with destroying the scavengers is very much tossed into the void sea. However, when she had her pups she was open to learning and was noteably much smarter on this list then she is now. But going through metropolis is hard and the fact that the scug can do explosive backflips over walls is kinda cool, and I should have put her higher up

Gourmand - Huge range of combat, knows and remembers many crafting recipes (LOTS) and that’s why I put gourmand up here. You can roll, fall, slide, and kill enemies by having 3 damage point spear throws!! Gourmand isn’t the brightest, but knows their skills and abilities well despite them having to stop to breathe every once in a while. (Plus extra point for sluppies because they show up in gourms campaign once you unlock it and that takes some knowledge to yake

care of another breathing alive creature)

Hunter - Hunter knows where to go while having turbo cancer, delivers slag keys to LTTM without any direction from NSH, has the ability to find a cloak for Moon, has to go echo hunting to get more karma, and travels across lots of terrain while managing their cycles without getting consumed by their cancer. Also super cool scug one of my favorites :D

Spearmaster - One of the smartest scugs, has to use spears to siphon food rather then eat like the other scugs, delivers a pearl transmission to pebbles or moon and has to go through moons superstructure since its complete in their campaign. Also has to go all the way to sky islands to get the pearl to the transmission towers without throwing it off accidentally (learned from experience) BUT OVERALL they’re very smart :)

Rivulet - Rivulet goes through hell in their campaign with having to go around the rot and pebbles and grab his heart and lovingly give it to Moon and go and put it in submerged superstructure, it’s a HELL OF A campaign and is a great campaign and also rivulet stays with moon afterwards until they pass away and probably gain lots of knowledge from staying with her :) (about the ancients and ect)

Saint - I can barely explain this one.. uhhh rubicon void worm ascensions huh??? I think Saint is like above smart I have no idea I can’t even explain their campaign anymore LMAOO I put them up here because I’m pretty sure that they’ve learned lots since their campaign ends.. in a cycle as an echo???? I’m so confused but yeah space scug has big brain or maybe it’s just floof idk THABKS FOR READING SCREAMS

My headcanon is that Rivulet is the smartest scug actually

[nagalias-mindscape]

So. I haven't made any posts about the all-tiefling campaign recently.

things have been happening. god lord things have been happening.

Medli died for good, i think. It was a glorious almost TPK explosion of necrotic damage that had built up over the course of her not being able to stay dead for good. It's only fun in hindsight, though. I was a little aghast when it happened out of nowhere.

Everyone had to roll three different checks (even me) that we all failed, so no explanation on why she died out of nowhere. She's now being controlled by the DM- as in a spectral corpse since her body is gone-, but I was pulled aside and informed of some things that make me hopeful.

In the meantime, I was given leeway to play a couple NPCs and enemies just so i'm not being excluded from the group because I died. I'm having fun with it. That said:

I apologize to anyone in any of the three groups for that particular campaign that may have dealt with a certain Aarakocra Monk / Cleric who just could not be hit. I was told before the session to be 'as brutal as you can be. Knock them out as quickly as you can. Just make sure to use Spare the Dying when you do. This character has reason to not kill them'.

Self-casting Shield of Faith on myself to bring my AC to an 20 was just too good to pass up. I may have legit forgot about the combat-specific disadvantage i imposed on you all with my use of thaumaturgy before hand to intimidate you all that first time.

The other two were because the DM loved it. I still can't believe only one person managed to beat my intimidation roll of 13 (rolls were 18, 13 and 14), which was enhanced by a wonderful +0 (they needed to roll either an arcana check or an insight check that passed my 13).

Aarakocra had 75 health and whopping (boosted) 20 AC when everyone (minus one) had disadvantage on hitting me. Also had channel divinity to restore 25 health, Wholeness of Body (restore 21 health), 7 ki points, the ability to do slashing and bludgeoning damage with a single action, and the tried and true open hand technique where I just knock everyone prone without rest. Don't worry about the spells- they're all either healing, or party buffing. Or concentration, which would have dropped my AC down to 18 if I had used... which I probably should have, now that I'm thinking about it.

The one 'combat' spell I had, didn't feel fair to use. Spiritual Weapon.

I'm sorry the fight took two-three sessions. That was not my intention. Group two managed to subdue the bird (which is, subsequently, the group with the party member who rolled an arcana of nat 20 and thus didn't have to roll to hit me with disadvantage). Groups one and three are now separated and in cells.

I, uh, am glad all of you had fun, though. Small spoiler I was allowed to post: To all three groups, enjoy your new traveling companion. She's going to be your guide to the outside world- If you manage to get there.

Also was allowed to post the following, so on the off chance you actually are part of said D&D campaign, enjoy the stat page / spells I could have used under the readmore.

EDIT: only realized this afterwards, but there's a spell missing on this list that I forgot to snap a pic of. Here it is:

The critical Shield of Faith.

[kaerran]

i sure have had a lot of dnd posts (especially about the movie) come across my dash and man my experiences are nothing like the typical

my Actual DnD campaigns (as opposed to any other system) were:

1) a... probably 2nd ed campaign with a very established party (like they were on their second high levelled characters and their first ones were gods or something) and they let me play a half-dragon (NOT dragonborn, which i’m not sure existed yet?? wiki says they only were created in 2006 in a 3.5 supplement and i’m sure this campaign happened before 2006) because i’d be so behind anyway, and i remember nothing else besides having a great deal of fun. i didn’t get to keep that sheet and i’m still sad

2) a 1st ed campaign run by my dad, which featured me (a cleric/ranger), my mom (newly buddhist and therefore playing a mostly pacifist [refused to kill people, refused to ambush anyone] monk), my sister (thief), and 3 friends (i honestly don’t remember what my sister’s friend played but my friend played a wizard and his friend played a paladin), which featured such things as: I was the only one who rolled decent enough stats to play and therefore I was the only one without an 18 (because after that debacle dad gave everyone a premade set to distribute), we also all had psionics (dad kept claiming he rolled them legitimately and only one person DIDN’T get them but later admitted that in actuality i was the only one who DID roll ‘em) which over-supplemented our actual characters (i could heal and speak to animals psionically, so i literally never healed with my cleric spells, the thief and monk both could go invisible but mom refused to use it to actually sneak attack), and he was giving us all REALLY DIFFERENT exp via passed notes (he was giving me nearly double exp partially because i was actually rping lawful good and also to ensure that i wasn’t falling behind, and he was massively penalizing the paladin for playing the world’s worst paladin)

3) a 4th ed campaign where i was playing a warforged... something...... and i spent the entire time just so uncertain of what was going on i learned nothing. it’s a bit of a shame because mayan robotstatue was kinda fun (ok not really mayan, but i took the name from my then-recent mesoamerican classes for funsies)

4) i am brand newly in a 5th ed campaign where i’m playing a dragonborn thief, which sure is a funny pairing but i saw dragonborn and went “soooo can i?” and tat said sure! have fun! my parents are playing a human ranger/sorcerer and a half-elf bard (and both of them are struggling with spell and cantrip choices), and then there’s also a dwarf warrior and i THOUGHT nadia was playing a gnome wizard but she is actually playing a tiefling druid? this is fine. we may or may not have another person joining we’ll see. his character is not in the google docs folder yet. we’ve had one session and it’s gone okay, but i’m having to Adjust from my other group’s mostly narrative style to actual dnd’s actually-pay-attention-to-the-dm style (and actual initiative! it’s so weird i’m used to our made-up-on-the-spot-because-the-system-forgot-to-specify-how-to-determine-initiative card draws)

the point is: uhhhh i don’t actually know what spells exist (which is a thing i’ve seen several times re: the movie, that you can identify the spells and i’m like lol no i can’t) or how most groups play or even how most games flow

[broken-footstool]

could you write a tale about m! Kylar forcing the m! PC into a lewd D&D campaign and jacking them off under the table? I just imagine kylar makes the Pc run into tentacle monsters every seven seconds

I'm gonna be real, this one kinda got away from me a bit

Kylar chewed the already mutilated eraser of his pencil, fumbling with a set of dice in his other hand. It was Friday, a time of the week that he looked forward to often. Not because it meant that the weekend had finally arrived, but because it was the one day Kylar got to spend without being alone. By some random stroke of luck, he had managed to find a friend named Ivan. And by even more luck, this friend wanted to spend time with him outside of classes. Ivan had bonded with Kylar over their love of tabletop games, specifically Dungeons and Dragons. As they got closer, Ivan suggested a one player campaign which led to the two meeting at Kylar’s house every Friday afternoon. 

Now that time had come once again. Everything had been set up and prepared prior, and yet nerves still had a hold on Kylar. They were good nerves, but nerves none the less. Today, he had planned something a bit different for the campaign and was unsure how it would work out. Ivan was a nice boy and made Kylar feel…good inside. It only seemed fair to return the feelings. 

Ivan sat across the table from Kylar, half of a sausage roll hanging from his lips. The visual sent a strange flutter through Kylar’s chest and he had to adjust his gaze to keep cool.

“Ready to start?” Ivan asked around a mouthful of bread and meat. 

Kylar only nodded behind his screen, flipping open his notebook that contained the story so far. He briefly explained the situation of a dark, empty cavern. There was a small amount of light coming from the end, but it was impossible to tell how far away it was. The ceiling was damp and there were puddles of some sort of liquid all over the floor. It sounded a bit clique, but it worked well for a single player adventure. 

“Can you roll for dexterity?” Kylar asked, flicking his D6.

With a confident grin, Ivan tossed his D20 on the table. His heart sank almost immediately to his ass as the die showed a bright yellow “2.” His luck always seemed to falter in battle scenarios, as if the gods themselves wanted him to die. Nearly biting the eraser tip off, Kylar’s face became covered in a nervous sweat. 

“A grell descends upon you and restricts your limbs with its tentacles.” Kylar’s voice was trembling with excitement. “You’re completely at its mercy.”

Rolling his D20 between his fingers, Ivan tried to think of a solution. His character couldn’t speak Grell, so persuasion was off the table. They also weren’t magic based, being that they were a monk skilled in hand to hand combat, so projectile spells also wouldn’t work. The best choice he had was to attempt an escape.

“Can I roll for dexterity again?”

“You’d need a 15 or higher,” Kylar responded, sounding a bit disappointed. 

Ivan took a deep breath and clutched his D20 hard. There was a slim chance that he would escape this encounter, but it was his only hope. From how suspicious Kylar was acting, he assumed that there were more than of these creatures lurking in the shadows, ready to attack. He took his chance and tossed the die, watching it noisily clatter on the table. The last bit of hope in his heart died out like a flame as his roll fell just short of 15. Even his dexterity modifier couldn’t save him. Kylar perked up at Ivan’s failure from behind his dungeon master screen, struggling to contain himself.

“Your character squirms and twists, back can’t break free.” Squeezing his thighs together, Kylar’s teeth finally broke through the top of his eraser and snapped it in two. 

Stretching his leg out under the table, Kylar timidly pressed his foot against Ivan’s crotch. Ivan didn’t seem to notice, far too wrapped up in planning his next moves, and Kylar took this as a sign to keep going. He worked his foot up and down, his movements rough and uncoordinated. A dark red blush crept up Ivan’s face, but he still didn’t say anything about what was happening.

“I’m gonna keep doing this until I’m free,” he panted after a moment, leaning over the table a bit more than earlier. “It’s my only hope.”

A nod was all Kylar could muster and he tossed his D20 from behind his screen. Ivan followed suit, meekly spinning his die on the table. 7. Great. A somehow worse roll than before.

“The grell works a tentacle past your lips and down your throat.” Kylar increased his movement speed, applying a bit more pressure as he worked. “It’s rough and thick, nearly choking you.”

Something was growing within Ivan. It was desperation. An undying need for release. Release from what? From his horrible luck with rolls. From this damned floating brain with its tentacle down his throat. 

“One more time.” Ivan’s voice was now trembling as he bit back a moan.

Kylar went to speak up, but found it more amusing to watch Ivan try over and over again. The way Ivan’s eyes would sparkle with hope and determination before darkening with defeat. It did something to his heart, and he couldn’t find it within himself to deny Ivan a chance. Nodding his head, Kylar tilted his foot so that his ankle was caressing Ivan’s testicles. Ivan jumped at the sensation as he threw his die, nearly tossing it off of the table.

16. Finally, Ivan was getting somewhere. The determination inside was growing more and more, and he felt a tingle of hope. 

“You manage to free one of your arms.” Kylar moved his ankle side to side as he spoke. “What’s your next move?”

Straightening his posture, Ivan thought for a moment. Now would be the perfect time to strike, or at least try to. But would that work? His character only had one hand free and was slowly being suffocated. Anxiety burned in Ivan’s stomach. For some odd reason, his thoughts seemed clouded and heavy. Was it the anticipation? The urgency to make a move? Gripping the sides of the table, Ivan gasped as an orgasam rocked his body. A sizable wet patch formed on the front of his pants, soaking through the fabric and partially through Kylar’s sock. Ivan fell back against his chair, out of breath and sweaty. The rush of a long awaited victory must have gotten to him, sending him straight over the edge. He ignored Kylar’s presence all together as he recollected himself, enjoying the afterglow. Once it began to fade, however, Ivan became aware of the very obvious issue he had.

“Can I use your bathroom?” Ivan finally asked, standing with his hands in front of his crotch. He barely waited for an answer, awkwardly shuffling out of Kylar’s room and into the dark corridor.

Once Ivan was gone, Kylar slipped the sock from his foot and placed it in his pocket, saving it for later.

[fadebolt]

This is an amazing question, one that I've been thinking about quite a lot. The game does give a couple hints, when it comes to this matter. Though nothing is outright confirmed, leading to a situation where there isn't a right or wrong answer (unlike with the story of the two iterators we meet, where we do know exactly what has happened with them).

A lot of people like to point at Gourmand's crafting mechanics, when it comes to points about their campaign not being real. And I have to agree - the game prides itself on being incredibly immersive, yet it has also given Gourmand some abilities that don't make a lot of sense in-universe (namely, the damage to creatures through falling/sliding/rolling, the ability to craft strange things like Fire Eggs or Singularity Bombs, and the ability to both craft and cough up living being). This has never bothered me, considering that one of my other favorite games has buildings catching on fire when they get whacked by swords and axes. So I just accepted that games often don't make sense, and often don't tend to be realistic, which has been true even before the video game medium has existed (case in point - the Queen being the most powerful fighter in Chess).

However, Rain World is a bit different from most games, as there was a genuine attempt from the devs to make everything as believable as possible. There are a few parts of the base game that don't really make sense when you think about them, but they're concessions the devs had to make, to ensure that the experience of playing the game will actually be good. They're decisions the devs were forced to make. This does not apply to Gourmand. Downpour's devs were not forced into giving the Slugcat these crazy unrealistic abilities that don't make any sense, yet they added them anyway, knowing that good immersion is something the audience is expecting from the game.

Because of this, I'm really not feeling the third option - as it implies that the devs didn't think Gourmand's campaign through, which I would heavily doubt, considering the incredible quality of the DLC. There's no way the devs would be careless/incompetent enough to leave such large and obvious plotholes within one of their campaigns. Looks to the Moon's response to Fire Eggs is a pretty strong indication. She says "Ah, well, if it tells a good story then I won't question it too much~" for a reason, and I'm very much getting the impression that the devs knew exactly what they were doing.

The first two, on the other hand, are options that both could potentially be true. But if I'd have to pick one, I would definitely go with the second option, as the first would require a new explanation to the Outer Expanse karma gate being open for Survivor and Monk, while the Slugcats would also need the appropriate knowledge about Hunter, their condition, and the Rot. The second option simply doesn't require these extra add-ons to make sense. The one last factor to consider are the OE karma gates being opened only if the player actually finishes on Gourmand run on the savefile. This means the canonicity of it is a bit up for debate. My personal interpretation is that it's a player choice type of thing (sort of like LttM's Cloak), where Gourmand doesn't actually go out on their expedition, until the player starts up and finishes their campaign.

It might be a tad far fetched, but I did put a lot of thought into this, and the details do line up. You could say my ideas lean more towards the 'something else', but they are very much centered around the concept of the story being true, but exaggerated. Apologies for going a bit too long here. Rain World theorycrafting is quite fun, and I enjoy rambling about these sorts of things. I love Gourmand, and I wanted to take the opportunity to explain some of my thoughts on them, and their campaign.

[sabresanddungeons]

Beginner’s DND

So, you’ve heard about Dungeons and Dragons. You’ve seen the first episode or all of the episodes of Critical Role then The Adventure Zone then Not Another DND Podcast then ect. then ect. Maybe you played back in high school with second edition or 3.5 and are wanting to check out 5e. There’s also the possibility you’ve been abducted by your friends to join a session with them since you feigned interest 3 hours ago and can’t back out now. Whatever your reason for coming to the table, we welcome you.

But, now, it’s time to get to the meat of the issue: what do I do? You’ve gone to the store to purchase the Player’s Handbook. There’s a character sheet in your hand, but once you opened that book, it’s a bombardment of information and a feeling of impending doom.

First off, take a deep breath. We’ve all been there. We’ve all been the newest player at the table before. Don’t worry. When I made my first character, I cried. I was so overwhelmed and stressed out by the race options, classes, spells, backgrounds, roll tables, pictures, equipment, dice, hit points, starting trinkets, names that I just broke down and scared my friends. They helped me get through it, and I’ll help you.

The first step is to close the book and think about some of the fantasy concepts you already know. What is there? You may think of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, World of Warcraft, Witcher, The Dragon Prince, Journey to the West, Game of Thrones, so what characters are in there? Humans are the most prevalent, but commonly, there are elves, dwarves, hobbits, and orcs. They come in different flavors too: sword wielders, magic casters, healers, musicians, sneak thieves, bowman, and ninjas. Okay, you have a base knowledge of what’s going on.

Keep your book closed, but of those options that I wrote down, what calls to you? Aragon from Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter from Hogwarts, Ezran from The Dragon Prince, Areo Hotah from Game of Thrones, or Jaskier from The Witcher? You should have some ideas flowing at this point and know what you want to pursue, so open that book.

The races in DND have different skills and bonuses to stats. Of the races, there are Halflings, Gnomes, Dwarves, Elves, Half-Elves, Tieflings, Humans, Half-Orcs, and Dragonborn. Of those names, two stand out, Tiefling and Dragonborn. Tieflings are devil touched, whether in their bloodline or through some choice/accident. Dragonborn are dragon humanoids with breath weapons such as fire or acid. Of all the races, each has a unique attributes and bonuses that improve your statistics.

Classes have varying rolls in the party dynamic with strengths and weaknesses. These classes are Barbarian, Bard, Cleric, Druid, Fighter, Monk, Paladin, Ranger, Rogue, Sorcerer, Warlock, and Wizard. Most of these classes are self-explanatory, but the two I want to touch on are Sorcerer and Warlock. Sorcerers, unlike other magic users, are born with innate spellcasting ability. Warlocks make a pact with typically an evil or old god to gain magic power. What should you play though?

For your first DND campaign, I recommend playing a martial class like Barbarian, Fighter, Monk, or Rogue. Although Wizards and Druids sound super awesome, picking spells can be an arduous and nerve-wracking task that may add to the stress level, but if that’s what you want to be, go for it! You’re the one playing the game, remember?

Backgrounds. Ah, the backgrounds. These will add some flavor to your character, bolster their proficiencies, put some gold in their pocket, and say where they came from and maybe why they’re adventuring. It’s good to be motivated! Those background options are Acolyte, Charlatan, Criminal, Entertainer, Folk Hero, Guild Artisan, Hermit, Noble, Outlander, Sage, Sailor, Soldier, and Urchin. I wanted to point out Charlatan, Criminal, Outlander, and Sage to you because they may be the least known or confusing. Charlatans are street performers trying to take money from the people while Criminals are going out to burgle. Outlanders were raised in the wilderness, and Sages are well-read and nerdy. Choose something that fits in with the character that you’ve created or don’t! That’s the beauty of DND.

We’ve returned to the end which is the beginning. Confusing? I know. There’s much more that can be discussed, but I will leave you with these parting words. For as imposing as the game seems, it is a game, and games are meant to be fun. If you don’t understand what’s going on, ask your fellow players and dungeon master. If you need to take a break, ask, and if you need to grab more chips, don’t. You can just grab those because snacks and DND are plentiful. So, have fun and make some memories.

[ace-beef]

The Gang Plays Dungeons and Dragons

so my silly little brain loves to just take a group of characters and go “what if they played DnD together?” and that is exactly what I’ve done here with the characters from Always Sunny. Might turn this into a fic but idk yet 

Charlie  - was the one who suggested playing it because he happened to discover it one day and as the funky lil creative he is, he's prepared a homebrew campaign that is absolutely nuts and doesn't always make sense - as he can barely read he hasn't exactly got the best grasp on the rules. He might go and find some videos to explain it better to him but he also does have a shit attention span so he probably gets a little bit bored - basically he found out about a game for adults where you can acceptably play make believe like a kid and really liked the idea of it - a somewhat fair DM but gets frustrated when the others inevitably deviate from the plot a lot, like I feel like he also threatens to kill people's characters if they continue to completely ruin stuff - really works hard on doing different character voices and describing different characters and places, even down to having props, costume parts, maps etc - draws everyone’s characters 

Mac  - starts out complaining that he "doesn't want to play some shitty nerd game" but then gets shown the barbarian class and all the weapons his character could use and then he gets fully into it - briefly thinks about being a monk instead but gets very put off when reading about Ki and just doesn't understand it at all - builds a Dragonborn or Half Orc barbarian beefcake, his highest stats are strength and dexterity, and he has weapons that use a d10 or a d12 for damage - he never really gets into the roleplay aspect and gets kinda bored when there hasn't been any combat for a while which means that he often starts combat himself, like they're all yelling at him not to and he just attacks anyway and rolls his dice and then Charlie just yells like "OKAY FINE ROLL INITIATIVE" - constantly tries to do cool stunts (you know he’s physically demonstrating them too the best he can) and gets very mad when his dice roll low, and so he probably flips the table at least once every session - doesn't ask to roll for intimidation (or any other skill but he uses intimidation way more than the others) he just does it anyway and announces it - Mac: I rolled a 12 so I intimidate the guard with my big muscles and he cowers before me Charlie: nO dude that’s not how it works, I decide whether he’s intimidated by you aaand *rolls dice* he’s not  Mac: WHAT??? That’s bullshit Charlie you KNOW how big my character’s muscles are! *proceeds to flex irl* 

Dennis  - also "doesn't want to play some shitty nerd game" and takes more convincing than Mac, but eventually what sways him over is the fact that his character can seduce as many people as he wants, and he probably sees some raunchy artwork of a tiefling woman and decides that he'll play - Aasimar Bard that has a very high charisma stat and is quite possibly the horniest bard you have ever seen, although he's not seducing dragons and monsters because he "has standards" - uses 'vicious mockery' constantly and comes up with the most incredible insults, and often threatens to use it on his party members  - never gives inspiration dice to the others (except maybe to Mac on occasion) - probably a bit of a rules lawyer but only when it benefits him or ruins someone else - surprises himself a little bit and the others when he ends up getting very into the roleplay part of the game, oftentimes completely forgetting that he's just effectively flirting with Charlie in a wig - therefore gets Very into character and ends up becoming weirdly attached to and protective of his character so gets genuinely upset when his character is near death “heal ME! I’m clearly the best member of the party!” - very detailed and descriptive roleplay, sometimes too descriptive 

Dee  - also also "doesn't want to play some shitty nerd game" but particularly when Mac and Dennis get roped into it she doesn't want to get left out and joins anyway, plus she very quickly realises that it's a perfect opportunity to demonstrate her acting skills - therefore very much enjoys the roleplay aspect and often gets very intense which the others (except Dennis) aren't quite sure what to do with since they're just goofing around for the most part - would argue with Dennis about being a bard but eventually she gets bullied into settles on being a Tiefling Sorcerer because it "seems pretty cool" - the others joke about how she should be playing an Aarakocra though, "oh wow Dee look! They based an entire race on you!" - argues with Charlie A Lot about various different things that she supposedly can and can't do (tbf they all do but she is The Worst) - has an incredibly long and fleshed out backstory written down for her character and she keeps asking Charlie when he’s going to bring it up and use it in the plot of the campaign  - not so interested in combat since she can never quite get her head around the magic system but she does laugh at and berate the others about not being able to solve 'simple' puzzles

Frank  - has absolutely no idea what DnD is or what he's doing but he's playing just for Charlie and because Charlie was so enthusiastic about it - when making a character he probably asks stuff like "so which class has the most sex appeal?" / "Which one of these will get me to bang the most fantasy broads?", which inevitably means he gets involved in the ‘Who Gets To Be The Bard’ argument with Dennis and Dee but backs out very quickly because honestly, he's not That invested - I would say he gets 'lumped with the healer role' because of this but you just KNOW that the gang has absolutely no idea how to build a good, co-operative party and therefore has the most chaotic and messy party you've ever seen - ends up being a High Elf (so he can be "tall and sexy") Rogue so he can be crafty and steal a bunch of money from people, which also includes his fellow players and they get very mad about it - Mac: hey you can't steal from me! I attack him with my greataxe *rolls dice* Charlie: no Mac he rolled a 15 whereas you rolled a 2 your character didn't notice him steal from you Mac: but I just watched him say he stole from me! Charlie: YOU did but your character DIDN'T! Dennis: Mac buddy he's right you just didn't roll well enough! Frank: *cackling* I just stole all of your money! DEAL WITH IT! Mac: *standing up* WELL I ROLLED WELL ENOUGH TO HIT HIM! I GOT A 19! Charlie: *overlapping* YOU DON’T HIT SHIT! Dennis: *overlapping* METAGAMING! THAT'S METAGAMING YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

[eponymous-rose]

A Critical Role Campaign 2 Mechanics Primer

Got a request from a new Critical Role viewer for some clarification re: rules and characters, and dang, yes, there’s so much stuff to deal with as a new viewer at the moment. So here’s an attempt at clarifying some stuff!

How does D&D work?

Fundamentally, one person (the DM) sets the scene and the players riff off that scene by acting out what their characters would do in response. Whenever a player’s actions would lead to an uncertain result, the DM can call for them to roll a die and try to hit a predetermined target number to see if they succeed. The players’ individual characters have abilities that boost certain categories of rolls and penalize others; a very strong character is more likely than a scrawny one to be able to open a jammed door, but they could still have an unlucky roll. It’s the DM’s job to incorporate the sometimes-absurd results of those die rolls into a coherent story.

Combat is the most “gamey” D&D gets, where everyone has a turn set aside to act (with an order determined by the “initiative” roll that starts combat). This is where character classes come in handy: magic-users cast spells, fighters jump in with their weapons of choice, and so forth. Each character has a set of hit points, and once those reach zero, the character is unconscious and possibly dying. But combat ain’t just hack-and-slash: there can be conversation, strategy, manipulation, collaboration, and all sorts of weird subtleties going on. Fundamentally, players’ actions are limited only by their imaginations.

It can be super weird getting into a D&D show even if you have played a bit because everyone plays the game a bit differently. Critical Role’s gameplay leans hard into roleplaying and character beats (there are episodes with basically no dice rolls) but also leans hard enough into the rules that a random bad or good roll can completely derail the story; rolls aren’t fudged or handwaved for the sake of a predetermined narrative, which means nobody playing (including the DM) knows how things are going to end up. This makes for a viewing experience that is a cross between dramedy improv and live sports; the cast plays out long scenes of conversation, but their characters could also permanently die at any time, adding to the high stakes. It’s also totally unedited, which accounts for the absurdly long runtime. 

If any of that isn’t for you, there are a lot of great D&D podcasts out there (often labeled “actual play”) that run the gamut from silly with minimal rules to mechanically involved but edited down. It’s a cool time to get into D&D!

Okay, so how exactly do these characters do their thing?

One of the more confusing aspects for new viewers of the second campaign of Critical Role is that they’re using a fair amount of content that’s not in the baseline ruleset - some character races and classes are coming from expansion content, and some are from Matt Mercer (the DM’s) homebrew. Here’s a quick summary of what each character has going on at the start of the campaign, moving from left to right in the first episode’s seating arrangement.

Fjord (played by Travis Willingham)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Travis is the big guy who looks like he could throw a football real far. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has a Texas twang.

Fjord is a half-orc warlock. A half-orc typically has green skin and tusks but otherwise looks fairly close to a garden-variety human. Warlocks are magic-users who gained their abilities from a bargain with a mysterious (generally somewhat malevolent) being of great power. Mechanically, they rely a lot on what are called cantrips (spells that can be cast an unlimited number of times a day) since the number of more powerful spells at their disposal is very limited. However, unlike most other casters that have to get a full night’s sleep to regain their stronger spells, warlocks just have to rest for an hour or so and they’re good to go. More specifically, Fjord is a hexblade warlock. Hexblades are warlocks who have a particularly strong bond with their weapon of choice and can summon it from nothing.

Beauregard (played by Marisha Ray)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Marisha is the woman who often perches on her chair like she’s about to take flight. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is a bit gruff with a sarcastic drawl.

Beau is a human monk. Both humans in this campaign use a variant version of human that allows them to pick a feat at the start of the campaign: Beau has some extra expertise in investigative and athletic abilities. Monks are preternaturally powerful martial artists; what some classes do with magic, they do with unarmed combat. Mechanically, they rely on an ability called ki points, which are a stockpile of points that can be used for extra-powerful abilities such as being able to hit extra times on an attack or being able to stun an enemy. More specifically, Beau is a Way of the Cobalt Soul monk, which is a homebrew from Matt and means she’s essentially a warrior-monk-librarian whose key abilities center around rooting out useful information.

Caleb (played by Liam O’Brien)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Liam is the guy who perpetually looks like he’s about to launch into a Shakespearean monologue. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is soft with a German accent.

Caleb is a human wizard. His variant human feat gives him an eidetic memory and the ability to always know what time it is. Wizards are magic-users who got to where they are with careful study; Caleb has to keep track of his spells by transcribing them into a spellbook. He also has a familiar in the form of the cat Frumpkin, although Frumpkin can also change forms. Mechanically, wizards can pick up spells from a lot of different sources to learn them, but again, the cost in time and materials of transcribing them into a spellbook can be substantial. More specifically, Caleb is a transmutation wizard, which means his wizardry focuses around the act of transforming one thing into another.

Nott (played by Sam Riegel)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Sam is the guy with an alarmingly big smile and a comically oversized flask. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice is high-pitched with varying levels of Cockney accent.

Nott is a goblin rogue. Goblins are small and quick, and may or may not be well-received depending on the location. Rogues are sneaky individuals who do best when striking from the shadows or scouting ahead to investigate potential traps and unlock doors. Mechanically, they get a huge bonus in combat if they attack when unseen or when an opponent is distracted by an ally. They’re also very good at avoiding attacks and at hiding from view. More specifically, Nott is an arcane trickster rogue, which means she also dabbles in magic related to illusions and enchantment.

Jester (played by Laura Bailey)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Laura is the one who may or may not be instigating every round of giggles at accidental innuendo. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is bubbly with an Eastern European accent.

Jester is a tiefling cleric. Tieflings essentially look like brightly-colored humans (Jester has blue skin) with horns and a tail; they’re the result of infernal ancestry and also may or may not be well-received. Clerics are magic-users who derive their power from the blessing of a deity or other extremely powerful entity. Jester’s divine patron is the Traveler, a mysterious trickster with an affinity for phallic graffiti. Mechanically, clerics have a massive stable of spells from which they can choose a subset every morning; their abilities range from healing wounds to causing devastating harm. More specifically, Jester is a trickery domain cleric, which means her spells have a strong focus on illusions and pranks.

Mollymauk (played by Taliesin Jaffe)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Taliesin is the one who looks like he may be some sort of ancient fey creature who’s come to our realm to play D&D. If you’re listening to the podcast, his character voice has an Irish accent of varying intensity.

Molly is a tiefling blood hunter with purple skin. Blood hunters are a custom class Matt created that can use their own blood (in a process called hemocraft) to augment their combat abilities. Mechanically, blood hunters are high-risk high-reward; they can perform devastatingly brutal attacks, but often only at the cost of shedding some of their own blood to do so. More specifically, Molly is an Order of the Ghostslayer blood hunter, which means he’s got an affinity for things relating to the moment of death.

Yasha (played by Ashley Johnson)

If you’re watching the show in video form, Ashley is the one who isn’t around for a little bit (she was splitting her time with a TV show on the opposite coast) and then SHE’S BACK AND I’M STILL SO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. If you’re listening to the podcast, her character voice is soft with a faint Scandinavian accent.

Yasha is an aasimar barbarian. Aasimar are the semi-divine counterpart to tieflings, although Yasha is a fallen aasimar with a fairly different aesthetic. Barbarians use their rage to enhance their already fierce battle prowess. Mechanically, barbarians in a rage take less damage and deal more damage, and also embrace a high-risk high-reward playstyle as tanks in the middle of the fray. More specifically, Yasha is a Path of the Zealot barbarian, which means her battle rages are fueled by the influence of a divine being.

Interested in watching from the start of campaign 2? The show has a YouTube channel with each episode posted in its entirety, and all episodes are also available in podcast form (they did jump channels partway through, but you can usually find a playlist that has them all). If you want to delve into campaign 1, I highly recommend it, but be aware that they’re still figuring out tech stuff and you’re also jumping in partway through the game they started years earlier at home. Campaign 2 starts 20 years after campaign 1 on a different continent of the same world, and is intended to be an appropriate jumping-on point for new viewers.

Interested in catching up faster so you can watch live with friends? Search Critical Recap for a series of recap videos on YouTube, which then becomes a series of written summaries on the CritRole website after episode 88. There are also great summaries on the Wiki, and many people have put together catch-up guides for new viewers. 

There’s A LOT of content out there. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for skimming the early stuff if you want to get in on the new episodes sooner. <3

Episodes air at 7 PM Pacific every Thursday on Critical Role’s Twitch and YouTube channels; the VOD goes up for free on YouTube the Monday after. In the last few months, the cast has been distanced at the studio (all on separate cameras) and episodes have been pre-recorded several weeks in advance; normally, the show is streamed live and everyone is around the same table.

Hope that helps! If you have any questions, let me know. This is a fun show to get into, and a great all-consuming massive body of entertainment if you have the time for it.

[soundlogic2236]

So, I run a campaign and the NPCs follow 'different rules' than the PCs. But they are the same physics.

Specifically, I model it as different 'packages' of abilities that people are taking.

Vanilla as written, someone can hold the breath for a number of rounds equal to twice their constitution score, reduced by certain activities.

In my handling, the typical civilian can hold their breath for a number of rounds usually from half their constitution score to twice their constitution score, and a big part of this is that they are implicitly doing 'actions' that reduce that.

An adventurer, or other people with relevant training, get twice their constitution score approximately always, and reduce the space of activities that cut down on the time to almost only 'productive' activities.

The PCs are the sort of people who can do things like by pure force of their own soul un-dislocate their own shoulder. In universe, this is the same sort of process that everyone uses to be able to move at all.

The PCs activity patterns have had downsides. While their access to magical healing prevents them from many of the ailments that the average peasant may suffer, they have exotic problems caused by massive magic channeling, or having their souls almost yanked out in combat, and all that sort of crazy shenanigans.

But also, they aren't as good as an equal level civilian librarian at being a librarian. They traded in some of the skills such would develop for things like "the ability to keep fighting until zero hitpoints without freaking out or collapsing, and then even at zero HP carefully move to only finally pass out when they have chosen to strain themself further".

In fact, for a side adventure the players made PCs with 'NPC' builds! I haven't stated out a lot of the implicit NPC build stuff in as much detail as I have for the stuff the PCs use, but I also haven't stated out exotic monk abilities nearly as much.

It doesn't have to be 'narrative rules' vs 'IC rules'. The rules already create divides that shouldn't strictly exist IC. Not just between PC and NPC, but between ranged and melee weapons.

If you attach a string to an arrow in a bow and arrow and tie it to yourself, it is still a ranged weapon. But one can in principle draw a sequence of individually small changes that eventually starts with a bow and arrow and ends with a longsword, and attacking with those uses different rules!

How do we reconcile this?

My answer is: A lot of those intermediate weapons are going to be awful and using them would be dumb. IC, there is actually a smooth gradient. It involves adding a lot of penalties to your attack roll, then removing a lot of penalties from your attack roll, until you wind up somewhere else. I have not stated it out in detail because it will not come up on screen to the point of needing much detail.

What are the rules for being a civilian sustenance farmer? What perks do you get as you level up? Probably some. Also haven't stated out in detail.

And what are the exact rules for being not an adventurer with a tendency to craft magic items, but a magic item crafter that is quite unqualified to be an adventurer? Also unspecified, because none of my PCs are that, and I don't wind up needing to have an intricate system for figuring out exactly how badly it goes if one of said crafters winds up in lots of the situations where I do need to figure out what happens to the PCs. They faint. Or die. Or are screaming in pain. Or stay back and try to use an item they crafted.

Why would I need to figure out their feat tree in detail?

reading the crafting rules in pathfinder 2e and like. yeah i realise the system is not meant to model a functioning economy with supply and demand, but since the thing it does seem meant to do is 'make sure crafting isn't more than marginally useful or it'll break the game' i resent it a little

to craft an item you have a cost of materials of half its price, which you pay up front. then you can spend what remains of the price to finish immediately, or spend time bringing the cost down. for every day you spend working on the item, the cost goes down by an amount that depends on your crafting skill. If you work on it long enough, you can reduce the cost of making the item to the minimum of half the price (i.e. you don't spend anything on it except those raw materials in the first step). assuming you can sell it for the full price (which a PC can't, but let's imagine in this hypothetical you're an NPC merchant, who are the people selling items for their full price to the PCs), your profit is entirely in the step where you reduce the cost, and the amount you reduce it is a fixed amount per day. this means the amount of money you make per day as a professional craftsperson is mostly determined by your crafting skill. does which items you spend your time crafting go into it at all? yes! badly!

crafting also involves a crafting check, with a difficulty depending on item level and whether it has special requirements. if you fail the check, you waste some time. if you critically fail at it, you also waste some materials. if you succeed it's as described above, and if you critically succeed you reduce the cost more per day than otherwise. therefore, you want to spend your time crafting items where you get successes and critical successes, not failures and critical failures. which is to say, lower-level items. the higher-level the item, the less money you make on average after crafting and selling it. let's not even go into if the item had a rare crafting requirement.

therefore, nobody should ever bother to make high-level items for resale and they should not exist on the market.

[thegalleonsnest]

DUNGEONS & GRUMPUSES

You bet I just drew the Bugsnax crew playing D&D! This was something I sketched out a few weeks ago but finally got around to it! Haven’t done a large piece like this in awhile, especially with so many characters! I tried drawing each Grumpus with different pieces of cosplay that tell you how committed they are to the game. These are just random little headcanons for how I think about them playing D&D.

I’ve got a whole list written out for each Grump’s class they picked and why, so keep reading if you wanna know who’s who!

Starting from the front left to the back, you got:

Filbo; Sorcerer: He’s trying his best while working with a slightly below averaged charisma modifier. He doesn’t play often, so he’s gets confused about what he can do and how to properly build characters, but he’s learning.

Wambus; Paladin: He pretty new to it, so decided to go with the simplest one that was all about being good. Mainly followed Floofty & Snorpy’s instructions on how to make a good starting character. Triffany; Wizard: She’s just as new to playing as Wambus, but hopped on board super hard after learning that you could be a necromancer. Loves getting into character. Gramble; Druid: After raising his barn full of Snax, felt natural to play as a class close to nature itself. He had friends who were into playing D&D, but rarely participated and just watched. Mainly acting as support rather than being front and center. Wiggle; Bard: It’s pretty self explanatory lol. She spends more time playing music & setting the tone during sessions, but surprisingly, she’s super into role playing. Cromdo; Warlock: When something stinks of opportunity, why not take advantage of it? Even if it means making deals with various demons/gods/whatever is willing to make a blood pact with him for some easy riches? Used to play back when he was way younger, but life became a bigger factor.

Beffica; Rogue: Gotta get that perf dirt without getting caught, you know? Might take advantage of the party, who knows? Barely had any interest in playing, but why not use this opportunity to learn some things about your local residence?

Shelda; Monk: She’s more of a pacifist, spreading the word of Mother Naturae, and still spouting metaphors and riddles. She has no idea how to play, but she’s surprisingly effective at confusing any NPC for whatever reason. Eggabell; Cleric: Resident doctor is your resident healer of the party. And managing a party of 12 in a campaign is stressful as heck. Might crack under pressure deciding who to heal. She’s always liked fantasy stuff, so of course she still had some props for cosplay should could use. Elizabert; Barbarian: Adventurous and reckless by nature, so it was an obvious choice for her. Usually the one to start attacking without asking too many questions. Used to play a lot of D&D back in high school, so she can get pretty into it. Barrowed some of Eggabell’s old cosplay material for a sweet ’tume (If you get that reference, you’re a legend) Snorpy; Artificer: Veteran D&D player; grew up playing with Floofty. You gotta have your engineer on the team to think outside the box (and correct you on the rules constantly and make sure your dice rolls are correct). He likes dressing up for the part to really get into it. It’s the few times he is actually calm and having fun. Chandlo; Fighter: Plays with Snorpy from time to time. As long as you have the highest constitution & strength modifier, you can take the hits and throw them back at them pretty hard. His Wisdom is pretty high for a Fighter as well. Teams up hard with Liz & Wambus to protect the group

Floofty; The DM: Veteran as well, and yes, they would totally be the one to run a D&D campaign as way to run “hypothetical” experiments/test that would otherwise be rejected if performed in real life. I would also think just because of their personality, they would rarely ever be a player because of the number of disagreements that would come up during normal play with other people, unless it’s with a good group that knows each other.

[doberbutts]

aydenburd

Oooo who's your Pathfinder character? (if u want) >:D

We just started a campaign last session so this is a new character to me and I haven’t fleshed him out pretty much at all yet. He’s a dwarven monk with a kobold friend who likes to punch shit and achieve spiritual awakening by getting high. His name is Flytt as given to us by our DM, supposed to be pronounced “Flit” but I think [Flytt] would think it’s hilarious to mislead people and tell them his name is “Flight” because he is roughly 4 feet tall and built like a brick and not like something that can fly. His athletics and aerobatics are off the charts and today he one-two punched two different enemies to death on my first attempt with double crit rolls.

Previously I’ve played tiefling monks and rogues but I’m actually kinda liking the dwarf build, also I think it’s hilarious that my miniature is always roughly ass-height compared to all the rest of the non-small-humanoid models (like regular-sized people) and so the image is usually that I’m punching them directly in the tailbone or spine.

[dmsden]

A History Lesson - Looking back at D&D’s history

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Well, this is the 5th Monday in March, and that means I get to write about anything I want! It’s also my birth month, which means it’s my anniversary of getting into D&D (42 years!), and that has me feeling nostalgic. Coupled with a discussion I had recently with some friends, I thought it would be fun to look back at the various editions of D&D and give you all a bit of history. I’m not going to get into Gygax vs Arneson or any of that. I’m only talking about the published game itself, not its creators or its storied origins.

The original D&D (or OD&D as it’s sometimes called) came in a small box. It had three booklets inside - Men & Magic, Monsters & Treasure, and The Underworld & Wilderness Adventures - along with reference sheets and dice. Each was softcover and roughly the same dimensions as a DVD/BluRay case. The game was pretty rudimentary - for one thing, it assumed you already had a copy of Chainmail, D&D’s direct wargame predecessor. It also recommended you have a game called Outdoor Survival for purposes of traveling through the wilderness. It had only three classes - fighting man, magic-user, and cleric - and nothing about playing other races. It did have the insane charts that 1st edition would ultimately known for, and it was possible to play a pretty fun game of D&D with it, as its popularity would come to show.

The game expanded through similar chapbooks - Greyhawk, Blackmoor, Eldritch Wizardry, Gods Demigods & Heroes, Swords & Spells. With the exception of the last one, each brought new facets to the game - new classes like Thief and Monk, new spells, new threats. It was clear the game was going to need an overhaul, and it got one.

I consider this overhaul to yield the real “1st Edition”, as so much of the game didn’t exist in those original games. The game split into a “Basic” game, just called Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

The basic game was a boxed set that included a rulebook, a full adventure module, and dice...or, well, it was supposed to contain dice. The game was so popular and new in those days that demand for dice outstripped production. My copy of D&D came with a coupon for dice when they became available and a sheet of “chits” - laminated numbers meant to be put into cups (we used Dixie Cups with the name of the die written on it), shaken, and a random number pulled out without looking. It was meant to introduce new players to the game, so it was a trimmed down version. Races were human, elf, dwarf, and halfling, and classes were fighter, cleric, magic-user, and thief. The box only included rules for going up to 3rd level, with the intention that players would then graduate into AD&D. This is where I joined, with the old blue cover box set and In Search of the Unknown, before Keep on the Borderlands even existed.

AD&D was the game in its full glory. Along with the races I mention above, we got half-elves, half-orcs, and gnomes. The four basic classes also had sub-classes, like paladin and ranger for the fighter, druid for the cleric, illusionist for the wizard, and assassin for the thief. There were rules for multi-classing, as well as “Dual-classing”, a sort of multi-class variation for humans only, which, when done in the correct combination, could yield the infamous bard...which didn’t actually yield any bard abilities until around level 13 or so.

This edition had 5 different saving throws for things like “Death Magic”, “Petrification & Polymorph”, “Spells”, and so on. It had the infamous Armor Class system that started at 10 and went down, so that having a -3 AC was very good!  It also had specific attack matricies for each class; you would literally look on a table to determine the number you needed to roll on a D20 based on your class, your level, and your opponent’s armor class. It was fun, but it was very complicated.

It also had some, frankly, shitty rules. There was gender disparity in terms of attributes, which my group totally ignored. Because the game designers wanted humans to be a competitive the game, and because non-humans had so many abilities and could multiclass, non-humans were severely limited in the levels they could achieve in most classes. In fact, some classes, such as monk and paladin, were restricted only to humans.

As the years went on, things got a bit muddled. It probably didn’t help that the rules in Basic D&D and AD&D didn’t perfectly line up. In D&D, the worst armor class was a 9. In AD&D, the worst armor class was a 10. All of this led to an overhaul, but not one considered a separate edition. AD&D mostly got new covers and new books, like the Wilderness Survival Guide and Dungeon Survival Guide, Monster Manual 2, and the Manual of the Planes. It got a number of new settings, too. In addition to the default Greyhawk setting, we got the Forgotten Realms setting for the first time, details of which had been appearing in Dragon Magazine for years, thanks to the prolific Ed Greenwood. We also, eventually, got the whole Dragonlance saga, which yielded the setting of Krynn.

In this new version, Basic D&D broke off into its own game system to some degree. Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling started being treated like classes rather than races, with specific abilities at different levels. Higher level characters could be created using progressive boxes - Expert, Companion, Master, and Immortal, each with its own boxed set and supported by Mystara, a completely different setting that got its own updates over the years. It was odd, because D&D essentially was competing for players with AD&D, and I remember arguments with friends over which version was better (I was firmly in the AD&D camp.)

In 1989, when I was in college, they finally brought forth 2nd edition D&D. This streamlined things a little. Armor Class still went down, but now attack rolls boiled into a single number called To Hit Armor Class 0, or THAC0. It made the whole process of figuring out what you needed to roll a bit less cumbersome, but it was still a bit awkward. The classes got a lot of overhaul, including making Bard its own core class. But what I remember best about 2nd edition was the boom in settings. This was the age of settings, and many beloved ones got started, including Dark Sun, Planescape, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer.

It was also the age of the “Complete Handbooks”. They brought out splatbooks about every class and race in the game, as well as books expanding several concepts for the DM, such as the Arms & Equipment Guide, the Castle Guide, and the Complete Book of Villains. There were also splatbooks about running D&D in historic periods, such as Ancient Rome, among the ancient Celts, or during the time of the Musketeers. The game got new covers for the rule books again, and a bunch of books about options started coming out. It was a boom time for books, but many people complained there was too much.

Without going too deep, TSR ended up in severe financial troubles. They declared bankruptcy, and there was real fear of the game going away. And then Wizards of the Coast (WotC) stepped in. They helped TSR get back onto its feet, and they helped produce some modules specifically engineered to help DM’s bring an end to their campaign...possibly even their whole campaign world...because something big was coming.

That something big was, of course, 3rd edition D&D. The game got majorly streamlined, and many sacred cows ended up as hamburger. AC finally started going up instead of down. Everything was refined to the “D20″ system we’ve been playing ever since. Races could be any class. There were no level or stat limits for anyone. After years of the game being forced into tight little boxes, it really felt like we could breathe. I had stopped playing D&D, but 3rd edition brought me back into the fold. I often say that 3E was made for the players who’d felt constricted and wanted more flexibility.

The trouble with 3E, and its successor 3.5, is that it was still a dense and difficult game for newcomers to get into. It’s been acknowledged that D&D essentially created many of the systems we see and know in other games - experience points, leveling up, hit points, etc. But trying to break into the experience for the first time was difficult. The look of 3E was gorgeous, but I understood that it must seem awfully daunting to someone who’d never played.

4E and its follow-up, Essentials, was an attempt to course correct that. They tried to make this edition incredibly friendly to new DMs, and, frankly, they succeeded. By creating player classes and monsters and magic-items that were all very plug and play, they did a great job of creating a game that someone who had never DMed before could dive into with no experience or mentor and start a game pretty easily. Encounter design was given a lot of ease, and there were promises of a robust online tool system that would help out with many of the more tedious aspects of playing.

There was also a lot of shake up in terms of choices. Suddenly, new classes and races were proliferating like crazy. We got the dragonborn, the tiefling, and the eladrin right in the core book, but we said good-bye to the gnome and half-orc at first. Suddenly the warlock was the new class everyone wanted to try. We got paragon paths and epic destinies that would really shape a character as time went on. The game went very tactical, as well, which some of us loved. The concept of rituals came into the game. Later books like the Player’s Handbook 2 and 3 gave us back gnomes and half-orcs, and also gave us minotaurs, wilden, shardminds, and githzerai. We got new psionic classes, brand new class concepts like the Runeknight and the Seeker...

But there was a tremendous backlash. People felt that, in making the game so very plug and play, they’d taken a ton of choice away from the players. Without the tools (which were never that robust, frankly), it was almost impossible to navigate the massive panoply of options. And, worse, it was harder and harder to develop encounters without those tools. People complained that the game had gone more tactical in order to sell miniatures and battlemats. Given that I have never played the game without miniatures and battlemats (since I started in the days when D&D was still half-wargame), I found this odd, but I also understand my style of play isn’t everyone’s.

The one argument I will never understand is that it didn’t “feel” like D&D, or it was somehow ONLY a tactical game and not a role-playing game any more. Again, given that the original game didn’t even call itself a role-playing game, this felt odd. Personally, I roleplay no matter what game I’m playing. If I’m playing Monopoly, I’m roleplaying, doing voices, and pretending to be something I’m not. I honestly enjoyed 4E, and I know a lot of folks who did, too. A lot of it may simply come down to style of play. But I also enjoyed all the games that came before, including Pathfinder. To paraphrase the YouTube content creator The Dungeon Bastard, “Does your game have dungeons? Does it have dragons? Great. I wanna play.”

As a sidenote, in the months leading up to 4E’s release, a lot of internet videos were released by WotC emphasizing the nature of change and talking about differences in the rules. They also released some preview books showing the direction they were heading. WotC must have anticipated that people were going to find this edition very different indeed. They also cleverly brought in some very funny folks - Scott Kurtz from PVPOnline and Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik from Penny Arcade - and got them to play D&D for podcasting purposes. Looking back, this must’ve brought in a lot of listeners who might never have played D&D and given them a reason to try it out.

After its release, WotC clearly noted that missteps had been made, as this edition of the game was losing them players. They began work on what they referred to as D&D Next, and, this time, they did massive amounts of playtesting, some of which I participated in.

I don’t feel like I have to describe 5E to any of you, Dear Readers, as you could go to virtually any store and pick it up. I am a big fan of 5E’s simplicity and elegance, and I suspect this is the edition of D&D we’re going to have for some time to come, especially given its popularity. Given the effect of podcasts like Critical Role (and I might save an article on Critical Role’s importance to D&D until my next Freestyle article), D&D is likely more popular now than it’s ever been, with a much wider and more diverse audience than ever before.

I know I’m painting with broad strokes here, but I hope this was, at least, entertaining, and maybe you learned something, Gentle Readers. Until we next meet, may all your 20s be natural.