#because he wants her to be happy (more than maybe anything he wants her to be happy) and he couldn't make her as happy as pike
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Arcane Characters Make Food for You
Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Maddie, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Sevika, Viktor, Jayce, Mel x Fem!Reader
Tags: fluff, established relationship, domestic fluff, kissing, making food, teasing
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: I already wrote this on my old blog but now is a good time to re-write it.
Jinx knows how to cook pretty well, surprisingly enough. Or maybe not so surprisingly given how she's always the one making things and experimenting. However that also means she might make some really weird meals.
It's something you'll have to deal with if you're with her and might have to develop a strong stomach. She already has it because she grew up in Zaun and ate a lot of different things. For you she wouldn't recommend some of them yet and she will try her best to make something that you'll like. And she won't get too offended if you don't eat her cooking right away.
"I made ya some breakfast, ta-da! It's a little sticky but don't worry, eat your fill and I'll clean up the mess later. Don't look at it like that, it might not look pretty but I promise ya it's so good. I could eat this every day. I hope I'll get to eat it together it with ya every day, sugar."
Vi doesn't know how to cook because she never had the opportunity to learn. The first few dishes are bad, like really bad, almost burn the toast and eggs type of bad but Vi she isn't the kind of person to give up. She'll keep trying until she gets it right.
There have been times where she did burn things and she won't let you eat it since it's not right. She wants you to have the best of the best, even if she didn't. Might get a little distracted when you're in the kitchen with her so she prefers to cook by herself even if you're there with her. Regardless of how many times she gets it wrong she at least wants to learn to cook your favorite.
"Yes, this is burned toast but this time it's not my fault, it's yours. Well you're the one who walked in here looking all cute and distracted me. One kiss is all it takes if it's from you, sweet stuff. Sit down and let me do this right and if you do you'll get something sweeter than this."
Caitlyn knows how to cook really well. She did grow up with people doing the cooking for her however she was curious and wanted to learn how to do it on her own. She's a very hand-on learner, now she can use some of her skills to make you happy.
She gets up really early anyways so she might as well make breakfast for the both of you. The first time she brings you breakfast in bed she thinks your reaction is cute, the way you stare at her, eyes wide and drooling over the food. For her it's not odd to have breakfast in bed. And if you stick with her you'll get used to her pampering you. Be sure to tell her how the food tastes.
"Good morning, darling, I brought you something. See, I didn't just brag about my cooking skills, this is me showing you I can cook. Showing off? Suppose I am a little bit, it's not my fault you didn't really think I would bring you breakfast in bed."
Maddie can cook some dishes but she can cook them well. Her skills aren't anything impressive but they don't need to be because she can get take out too. But she is more than happy to share what ever she makes with you.
She falls back on take out more often than she would like to admit. However not when she invites you over to her place, then she will put her best foot forward. A lot of that is because she wants to impress you hard, but it also gets her to work on her skills either way she wins. She keeps looking at you very intently while you take that first bite. Thankfully she doesn't seem to do a bad job if your smile is anything to go by.
"I'm not weird for watching you eat, it's called being smitten, gorgeous. Anything you do is interesting to me, you know that by now. This isn't empty flattery. I already got you to eat my cooking, I don't need to butter you up at this point."
Ekko isn't the best cook out there, he will be completely honest with you. While he does know the basic things you can't really expect anything fancy. If anything he focuses more on the dish being filling than tasty.
The thing about him cooking for the two of you is that he can only do it on his free time, which isn't a lot. Therefore he wants to make it a bonding activity. A cute date of sorts, mostly in the late evening when the rest of work is done. Sometimes he will try to surprise you but its hard when his living space isn't that big and everyone knows everything in the Firelights. The gesture counts.
"There wasn't much time so it's pretty simple, but at least it's your favorite, Firefly. No, I actually finished the new project, I had extra time to kill. Please, don't thank me! It seemed only right for me to make you something after you cheered me up this morning."
Vander knows how to cook really, really well. He kids to raise, and he was on his own for a very long time, he had to become a good cook. Plus he makes awesome drinks, being a good cook was a bonus skill for him.
He's always the first one to wake up and start the day in the Last Drop and he always makes breakfast for everyone. Not just breakfast but every meal, his kids need to eat a lot, there's always a little left over for later. Even if he feels a little sleepy himself he at least wants to put something on the table. It's the dad instincts in him. And husband instincts, hopefully.
"Don't ya even think about sneaking up on me right now, darlin'. I've got a pan full of sizzling hot oil in my hand, I don't want it all over us. Hugs are fine, I always love ya being close to me, but keep your hands to yourself. We both know ya get handsy in the morning."
Silco didn't know how to cook before he adopted Jinx, since then he's had to learn. It wasn't easy but now he does know a lot and he can impress the woman he's dating. Now when you stay over you can expect good for for your date, and good food when you wake up.
When the dating gets more serious he lets you help him cook, but until then he pretty much does it on his own. Jinx will go nowhere near the kitchen alone, not after that one explosion. He does have a list of recipes that he makes the most. And a few that he made up. Sometimes ingredients are hard to come by so he needs to improvise.
"Pass me the flour would you, love? This time I will follow the recipe, yes, the last time there was a bit too much sugar in there. I know you liked it but it's not the healthiest thing now is it? Fine, call me a worried dad, I know you think it's attractive."
Sevika isn't able too cook that well, she never was, she always liked others cooking for her though. However when you tease her about it she takes it as a challenge. And you know damn well that she doesn't back down from a challenge.
Curses a lot when she messes up, though you can bet that she's not gonna let food be the thing that beats her. When you walk into the kitchen it's a mess which will take a while to clean up. But at least she managed to make the dish this time and it's quite good. For her hard work you give her a very passionate kiss and that just makes her wanna work harder. That's the best reward she can ask for.
"One kiss for at that work, doll? I think I earned myself a little more than that, maybe you on the table instead of all this food. Yeah, I know it's gonna get cold, you're right. Can't let all this hard work go to waste, but when we're done we have to work all that food off."
Viktor doesn't have as much time to cook as he could if he worked a bit less. Not that his skills are award worthy but he can make a few things, at least in his opinion. Give his cooking a chance.
When he was a student in the academy he had to learn how to make quick meals and that is where most of his strength is. Just very simple dishes but he knows how to make them well. There are times when he himself forgets to eat so he makes sure he gets a good meal when he can. If you're part of that that's even better. Having you eat his cooking makes cooking more fun.
"If you think cooking this is so easy then you make it will you, beautiful? Ah so now you like it, I see how it is. I'm just kidding, I love making food for you when I can. But if you want to make it yourself please let me do a taste test first. I promise to be brutally honest, just like you are with me."
Jayce has absolutely no skills in the kitchen unless you need him to fix or build things in there. He knows this too and will admit it right away. Trust him he is much better in science than in cooking food.
That being said he will join you in the kitchen when you cook. He takes an interest in it because the way you cook makes his mouth water. When he learns about what your favorite food is he wants to lean how to cook it. However he does this in secret because he wants to surprise you. Sure enough he's able to get the biggest smile out of you when he presents you with your favorite meal.
"I learned it secretly, all for you, babe. Well I am quite good with my hands and I enjoy working, that was just another excuse to learn. Of course I don't have an ulterior motive for it! But if I did... and if it was kissing... would you kiss me for doing a good job?"
Mel is actually an amazing cook and knows a ton of recipes. Including your favorites of course. Do you really think she'd invite you over and offer you nothing to eat?
It's been a long time since she had to cook for anyone but herself but she's not bad at it at all. She has high standards when it comes to good food specifically because she holds herself to high standards. It doesn't matter how simple or complicated the meal is. When she invites you over and offers to make you food you better believe you're eating good that night. Not strictly food either.
"Beloved, slow down a little, the food isn't going anywhere and neither am I. We have all night. Every time I make food I do so because I want to enjoy a good meal, and you should too. And please be careful, I don't want you to choke, on the food that is."
#arcane x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#maddie x reader#ekko x reader#vander x reader#silco x reader#sevika x reder#viktor x reader#jayce x reader#mel x reader#arcane imagine#arcane headcanon#arcane fluff#arcane x you#league of legends x reader#league of legends imagine#league of legends headcanons#league of legends fluff#league of legends x you#arcane x female reader#league of legends x female reader#x female reader#arcane#league of legends
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I Said Back Off
Franco Colapinto x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader, Franco Colapinto x Lando Norris
Angst
Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!
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The world only saw Lando Norris, the quick-witted Formula 1 driver. They didn’t know about the side of him I knew—warm, caring, fiercely protective. Our relationship had been a secret for almost a year, something we wanted to keep safe from the prying eyes of the public and the pressures of the racing world. But I never expected someone to test the strength of our hidden romance as Franco Colapinto did.
The paddock was buzzing after Williams announced that Franco would be replacing Logan Sargeant. Franco had a boyish charm, that easygoing confidence that made him instantly likable. I was happy to see him get his shot in Formula 1, and I had no reason to think he’d be anything other than friendly. But from day one, he turned his attention to me in a way that was impossible to ignore. At first, I brushed it off as him trying to make an impression, especially as he didn’t know about Lando and me. But as his flirtation intensified, it became harder to ignore—and harder for Lando to tolerate.
One afternoon, I was in the paddock waiting for Lando to finish a debrief when Franco walked over, wearing his Williams team shirt and a lazy, almost arrogant grin.
“Y/N,” he greeted, giving me a once-over that felt more invasive than flattering. “You look stunning today. I bet you bring good luck to whoever you’re with.”
I laughed politely, shifting uncomfortably. “Thank you, Franco.”
He leaned in, lowering his voice. “I mean it. I’ve noticed you around, and let’s just say… I’m determined to make sure I see a lot more of you. Maybe a date after the race?”
I tried to play it off with a polite smile, but it felt slimy. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
He laughed, not at all deterred. “Why not? I’ve got plenty to offer, Y/N.”
The unsettling feeling in my stomach grew as Franco took a step closer, his eyes raking over me. I had a sinking feeling he wasn’t used to hearing the word “no.”
I was relieved when Lando finally emerged from his meeting. He took one look at Franco standing so close to me, and his whole expression changed. His jaw clenched, eyes darkening, and he strode over, positioning himself protectively between Franco and me.
“Is there a problem here?” Lando asked, voice tense.
Franco’s smile only widened as he shrugged. “No problem at all, mate. Just getting to know Y/N a bit better. Can’t blame a guy for being interested in a beautiful girl.”
Lando’s hand tightened around my waist, his jaw ticking with restrained anger. “Maybe you should focus on your driving, Franco. Y/N’s not interested.”
Franco gave him a dismissive look, his smirk unwavering. “That’s funny, Norris. Just because you say she’s not interested doesn’t mean it’s true. I think she deserves to make her own choice.”
I could practically feel the fury radiating off Lando as he squared up to Franco, not bothering to hide his protectiveness anymore. “Back off, Colapinto. I’m only going to say this once.”
Franco laughed, clearly amused. “Touchy, aren’t we? I didn’t know she was already spoken for. But tell me, Norris… are you sure you’re giving her everything she needs? Because I’m willing to bet I could do better.”
Lando’s fists balled at his sides, and it took every ounce of restraint I had to pull him away before things got physical. “Lando, it’s not worth it. Let’s go,” I said softly, trying to defuse the tension.
Reluctantly, he let me guide him away, though I could feel his entire body still wound tight with anger. Once we were alone in his driver’s room, he paced back and forth, struggling to calm down.
“Who does he think he is, talking to you like that?” Lando muttered, his voice sharp with frustration. “He’s just a rookie. No one even knows his name, and he thinks he can just… just take you from me?”
I moved closer, placing a calming hand on his shoulder. “Lando, he doesn’t know about us. That’s why he’s acting this way. Just ignore him. He’ll get over it.”
But Lando shook his head, his expression hard. “I don’t care. I don’t care if he knows or not. I don’t want him near you.”
-------------------------------------
Race day arrived, and Lando seemed more tense than usual. Even as he prepared to get into the car, his eyes kept flicking over to me, as if making sure I was out of Franco’s reach. I tried to stay out of sight to avoid more confrontation, but Franco didn’t make it easy. Just before the race started, he found me in the garage, that same smirk on his face as he strode over.
“You know, I’m still serious about that date, Y/N,” he said smoothly, grabbing my hand before I could pull it away. He brought it to his lips, holding my gaze in a way that felt more like a challenge than a gesture of admiration. “Imagine the life we could have together. You don’t have to settle for second place.”
“Franco,” I said firmly, pulling my hand back. “I’m not interested.”
But he only chuckled. “That’s not the vibe I’m getting.”
Before I could respond, Lando caught sight of the scene from across the garage. His eyes blazed with fury as he marched over, grabbing Franco by the shoulder and yanking him back.
“I warned you, Franco,” Lando growled, his voice low and dangerous. “Stay. Away. From. Her.”
Franco just laughed, clearly reveling in Lando’s anger. “Calm down, Norris. You’re making a scene. What, scared of a little competition?”
“Competition?” Lando’s voice dropped even lower, almost a whisper. “I’ll show you competition.”
With that, he turned on his heel, stalking off toward his car without another word. I knew he was furious, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t the end of it.
The race was brutal. Lando drove with a relentless aggression I hadn’t seen before, overtaking at every opportunity, refusing to yield an inch of space. When he finally closed in to lap Franco, I held my breath, watching as he drew dangerously close, almost forcing Franco off the track. Then, in a split second, Franco’s car veered off-course, spinning out and crashing into the barriers. The gasps around me were drowned out by the sound of metal grinding against concrete.
The cameras caught every second of it, but I knew immediately: it hadn’t been an accident. Lando had pushed him, and Franco’s car was totaled. Word quickly spread that Franco had injured his wrist, an injury that would keep him off the track for weeks.
When I finally found Lando after the race, I couldn’t hold back any longer. “Lando, tell me you didn’t do that on purpose.”
He looked at me, eyes still blazing with the same anger I’d seen earlier. “He was asking for it, Y/N. I warned him. He wouldn’t leave you alone, and then he had the nerve to say he could treat you better? I wasn’t going to stand for that.”
I stared at him, torn between anger and an unsettling sense of pride. “But Lando… you could’ve seriously hurt him.”
He pulled me close, his expression softening just slightly. “I’d do anything to protect you, Y/N. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else thinking they have a claim on you. I won’t let anyone take you from me.”
My heart softened, even though I knew he’d crossed a line. “Lando, you can’t just—”
But before I could finish, he kissed me, right there in the open, in front of cameras and crew. Our secret was no longer hidden; he was making it known to everyone, Franco included, that I was his.
As the days passed, Lando’s apology came in small gestures—a handwritten note slipped into my bag, flowers on my doorstep, a quiet apology over dinner. He promised me he’d try to control his temper, and slowly, I forgave him. Because, in the end, there was no denying that he’d done it out of love, fierce and unyielding, a love I couldn’t resist.
@luckyladycreator2 @itsmiamalfoy @jeffs77 @ilivbullyingjeongin @forevercaffeinated-lee @daemyratwst @gulphulp @callsignwidow @f1wintermoon13 @teenwolf01 @victoriassecret101 @hiireadstuff @formulaal @kazza72584 @zabwlky1999 @dark-night-sky-99 @rougekiki @xoscar03 @jess-wither @bountychanti @dhanihamidi @tellybearryyyy @a-panseuxalmess @love-simon @tallrock35 @iiaik0ii @Milkyymelanine @ilovsyou3000morgan @styl1shl1v @eddieharrington @hellowgoodbye
#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula 1#formula one#lando norris#lando x reader#lando imagine#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4#ln4 x reader#mclaren#mclaren racing#ln4 angst#lando x you#lando norris imagine#lando norris angst#lando norris fanfic#lando x y/n#lando angst#franco colapinto#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto fanfic#f1 2024#williams f1
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Bad Beer and Naked Rodents
Thank you @xmidhel for beta reading!
also on AO3
“You know,” Sal drawls, twisting the cap off another beer and handing it over, “for someone with an above average IQ, you’re dense as fuck.”
Tommy glares but accepts the bottle without protest. It’s his third. He takes a long sip and shudders. Bud Light. Why did Sal have to be such a fucking stereotype? But he was too tired to complain. He was too tired to do much of anything right now.
“He’s not wrong,” Lucy said to his left and Tommy directed his glare towards her instead. Like Sal, she wasn’t impressed.
“What? You know it’s true. There you are, genuinely happy for the first time in…” she pauses to think, “for the first time since I met you, actually.”
“Ever” Tommy supplies miserably, sinking further into the couch cushions. Something pokes into his right kidney and he reaches underneath himself, pulling out a small doll with messy blue hair, a pink ruffled dress and a … horn?
“Unicorn Barbie,” Sal exclaims and snags the doll from his hand. “Thanks man, you just saved this household a lot of sweat and tears. Look, babe, he found her!”
“Uncle Tommy to the rescue,” Gina says dryly, without even looking up from her laptop where she’s furiously typing some email that’s probably important and Tommy feels a pang of guilt at intruding on her peace and quiet unannounced at 9pm on a week day, Lucy in tow. He’s unable to dwell on it, however, because Lucy pipes up again.
“Let’s circle back here for a moment, your life was going great, you were happy, your hair was even starting to look good-“
“Hey!”
“Don’t interrupt me, Thomas. My point is, you got scared of commitment for three seconds and tell Evan Buckley, Evan Buckley, to go off to frolic on Grindr? I’m sorry, but do you know how stupid that is? Do you have any idea what happens to guys like Evan Buckley on Grindr?”
“Say his name like that one more time and I swear to God.” It comes out with far more venom than intended and he cringes internally. Why does he have to be such a bitch? It’s a credit to their love for him that none of his friends even bat an eye.
They’re not gentle either, and Tommy’s kind of glad about it. He doesn’t deserve gentle. Not now, maybe not ever again.
“What happens to guys like him on Grindr,” Sal asks curiously and then frowns. “And what do you know about Grindr?”
“My cousin wanted to try it out but he’s super paranoid about technology stealing his data, man’s still got a Nokia. So we set up his profile on my phone. He decided it wasn’t for him 10 minutes in but I kept the app and sometimes I go window shopping when downtime gets too long.”
“Why am I not surprised in the slightest,” Tommy mutters into his beer. Lucy is undeterred.
“Anyway, Gabe’s no hag either and similarly baby-faced as Buck so every time I open the app they’re on him in minutes. Seriously, it’s like The Walking Dead and some of the messages I get are borderline illegal. And don’t get me started on the dick pics. They’re not even nice-looking dicks most of the time.”
“Is there such a thing as a nice-looking dick? I’ve always found they all look a little like mole-rats.”
Sal, who’s been fiddling with Unicorn Barbie’s hair in a futile attempt to get out some of the knots pauses and makes a pitiful little sound staring wide-eyed at his wife who’s still neither looking up from her screen, nor is she pausing her aggressive typing, and Tommy’s both impressed and a little scared of that level of multi-tasking.
“Don’t worry, bud, Gi loves your dick. You’ve got three little monsters to prove it.”
Sal shoots Lucy a look so dirty Tommy almost laughs.
“I love the man attached to it. It’s still a mole-rat, though.” A beat of silence, then Gina looks up from her laptop for the first time in two hours, finding her husband’s eyes across the coffee table. “I love mole-rats.”
Lucy snorts, but Sal looks so pleased even Tommy has to smile.
“Still, though,” Lucy picks up the previous topic again, “are we sure it’s a good idea to throw Buck into a world of mole-rats and creepy old dudes wanting him to call them ‘daddy’?”
Tommy decidedly does not look in Sal’s direction. He loves Lucy and Gina but this is a topic one only discusses with one’s very best of friends.
“A world of disappointment, more like. Buck’s had Tommy now, anything else will just be a let-down.” The dirty grin spreading on Sal’s face tells Tommy he’s about to be in trouble. And he’s right.
“We didn’t call my boy here Nine-Inch-Nail in high school for nothin’.”
“Okay, first of all, that is such a lie,” the grin goes impossibly wider, “and second, I am not 9 inches, okay?”
Three sets of eyes wander down to his crotch and if it wasn’t these exact three people, Tommy would be so uncomfortable right now. As it is, he simply huffs and shoves a throw pillow into his lap, crossing his arms like a petulant toddler.
“I’m 8.6.”
Silence.
Then all three of them burst out laughing. He tries to hold on to his petulance, but he only lasts about ten seconds before the corners of his mouth begin to twitch and he finds himself joining in against all odds.
“As I was saying,” Sal hiccups after they’ve all calmed down again, “Buck doesn’t need any other mens’ mole-rats. He only needs Tommy’s giant mole-rat.”
Tommy groans.
“God, I hate you.”
Half past midnight Gina pulls the plug and throws them out. Sal tries to offer him the guest room, but he declines. As much as he loves his best friend’s daughters, he doubts he’ll can be Fun Uncle Tommy in the morning and he hates disappointing them.
As they wait for their Uber to pull up, Tommy feels strong fingers wrap around his wrist and a moment later he’s pulled into a tight hug.
“Don’t fuck up your life like that, Tom, not again. You were finally so happy. And I like you happy. ” Sal’s voice is quiet next to his ear, but there’s a softness to it that is usually reserved for his daughters. Tommy feels his throat close up and he buries his face into Sal’s shoulder.
“I just don’t know how not to, Sallie,” he admits and hates how forlorn it sounds.
How forlorn he feels.
“You trust him. I know it’s the most terrifying thing to do, believe me I do. But you gotta.”
Sal pulls back to catch his eyes, but keeps hold of Tommy’s shoulders.
“This man is the best thing that’s ever happened to you, Tom, and if you give up on what you have now, you will regret it for the rest of your life. But in order to keep it, you need to let him in and you need to trust him to know what he wants. It’s not your place to decide that for him.
And I know you want to let him set the pace, but you can only do that as long as you’re able to keep up. This relationship is about the both of you and if things are moving too fast, you have to tell him that. It’s not fair to either of you if you don’t.
And Tommy, you have to talk to him about your shit.”
Tommy opens his mouth to protest but Sal shuts him up with a shake of his head.
“No buts. Buck isn’t stupid. Do you really think he hasn’t clocked by now that you have trauma? I’m not saying you gotta tell him all of it at once. But you need to start somewhere.”
Sal pulls him back in roughly and presses a kiss to his temple.
“I’ve seen the way that boy looks at you. He wants to take care of your heart so badly. Let him. Let him love you. All of you.
And if it all goes to shit anyway, you know that I’ll be right here. I always will be.”
Tommy bursts into tears.
It’s 3am when he finally finds himself knocking at the same door he closed behind himself for what he thought would be the last time less than ten hours ago.
It’s telling that it takes Evan just under half a minute to open it. It’s more telling that his eyes are red-rimmed, and he’s still wearing the same clothes.
Evan’s terrible at hiding his emotions, doesn’t even try to most of the time. It’s one of the many things Tommy loves about him.
Right now, he seems to experience all of them at the same time.
Hope, when he opens the door. Relief, when his eyes fall on Tommy in the hallway.
Hurt, anger, fear, concern, fondness, and finally back to hope.
He’s silent. Waiting.
Tommy takes a breath.
“Hey.”
“Hi.”
They look at each other, the insecurity and fear hanging between them like a cloud of vapor, so thick Tommy can almost taste it.
But there’s something else, too. Smaller, more fragile, and yet persistent like a moth chasing the light.
It’s the same thing Tommy’s seen in Evan’s eyes earlier.
Hope.
For a time, neither of them moves, as if they’re scared, that if they do it’ll spook and leave them alone in the dark again.
A minute passes. Two.
Somewhere in the building a baby begins to cry.
Evan steps aside.
#911 abc#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#bucktommy fic#bucktommy fanfic#sal deluca#lucy donato#gina deluca#this is actually terrifying i haven't posted anything i've written in like a decade#totally did not accidentally put the title in wrong at first
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RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 08. LOSING DOGS
a/n: i can't really explain why i took so long with this chapter. possibly because of how much i don't want this series to end and we're so close. but also it's just been hard to find the inspo as of late. but thanks to a movie day with @soulores where we yearned and screamed and laughed over this man, and well me rewatching the deadpool movies 1 & 2 for wade inspo i managed to finish this. it's been a ride delving into their angst and i hope you enjoy! we're one more chapter away from the ending and from this man's happy ending.
summary: time spent apart gives logan a chance to grieve - to mourn the family he lost. it gives you the opportunity to come to terms with what loving the wolverine means. the consequences that come with the choice of betting on someone like him. after all, he's not a violent dog...he just tends to bite harder than necessary.
word count: 7k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: not explicit, angst, grief, dual pov chapter sorta, wade wilson breaking the fourth wall, wade wilson therapist, laura kinney is here to stay everyone, crying, pain, emotional turmoil, ptsd, time.
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You don't sleep anymore.
This wasn't due to a lack of exhaustion—you were always tired—you simply couldn't bear to withstand the dreams longer than necessary. They filled your head with their brutality. Ripped apart your psyche in such a short time frame, only to leave you split open and bleeding for the buzzards and vultures to pick at. You were surprised Wade never commented on how you resembled a walking corpse day after day.
Walking amongst the living as your soul was claimed by the dead.
Nightmares quickly became your waking reality. A piece of what Logan left behind burrowed in your chest, settling further than you could ever reach. But that remained the horrid truth. You didn't want to get rid of it—you couldn't fathom the thought for longer than a few seconds. The remedies given by Wade, Laura, Ness, were all flimsy bandaids that you stripped off when they weren't looking—hoping that the darkness within would eventually consume you whole.
What existed in your mind—in the very depths of your heart—were all you had left of the man who disappeared without a trace.
Staring at the ceiling was easier. Tracing the cracks in the plaster, the worn in marks of people who lived here long before you ever would. You pretended that he lay beside you—his body inches away from reaching for you. In search of a slice of contentment to counteract the yawning grave that threatened to bury him alive. You could play along in this delusion, create a world of your own as your vision blurred.
Maybe if you wished hard enough...it would come true.
Eventually the need for sleep won, dropping shovel after shovel of dirt. Intent on burying you six feet under in a spot that was never meant for you. Memories played on a loop, a reminder of what could never be—a fate that had been mistakenly written in the stars— and you accepted it with a solemn heart that sang a long forgotten song.
One you never should have learned.
A creak echoed in the living room, your door left ajar in case you had to run. But the cadence of her footsteps had grown familiar to your weary ears. The drag of boots across hardwood, a shuffle here and there in her attempt to stay quiet. She hardly left your apartment anymore. Taking a spot on your couch like a guard dog you never asked to keep—a protector who took on the role her father was meant to fill.
Laura often fell asleep on the leather piece of furniture never meant to be utilized as a bed. You peeked your head out once to check if she needed anything, only to find her laying with her body faced closest to the door—a cracked picture frame of a much older version of your Logan placed on the table beside her. Her brows were furrowed, face pinched in fear, and for the first time you understood her relationship to the Wolverine.
She shared much more than his DNA.
She was plagued by his nightmares as well.
Your heart cracked a bit further at the knowledge that she might never have another night of peace in her life. Forever taunted by a past that should have been happy.
Sighing, you turned onto your side, staring at the neon glow of your alarm clock—a polaroid of Logan propped against the lamp. Wade took it months before you got the chance to meet the man who would drastically shift the course of your life. Two days ago you found it on your pillow—a chocolate bar beside it. Wade's attempt at making you smile.
Even if all it managed to do was make you cry.
Broken wet sobs that left your body wracked with shivers, your heart numb to each emotion that might have existed before he walked away. You'd gone over their explanations in your head numerous times. Mulled over each word and soft whisper of why. Yet nothing registered but the emptiness—the hollow ache that spilled over with grief.
No matter how often you patched it back up, he still managed to break his way back in. The reminder of his absence only served to split you down the middle—rendering you incapable of anything but pain.
"I miss him too."
Your body jolted at the soft sound of her voice practically filled to the brim with melancholy. She stood in your doorway, hands limp at her side, and for the first time you saw her as who she really was. A child who lost her father not once, but twice. Wordlessly you dragged the blankets back from his side of the bed, rolling to face her as she clambered onto the mattress still clad in jeans and a t-shirt.
You offered your own pajamas a week ago in the hopes of making her more comfortable. Only for her to reveal she slept in her clothes even at the mansion.
Just in case.
"What was he like? Your father." The topic of the older Logan rarely came up for you, his memory somehow entwined with the man you fell in love with. But Laura knew him best. She'd seen him at his worst, only to watch him become the father he was always meant to be. "You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."
She sighed, shifting around as if to shed the layer of vulnerability that scratched at her. "Angry."
You smiled. "Always?"
"No," she breathed. This breached onto territory she wasn't used to, memories she never liked to look back on, but for some unknown reason...it made you smile. So she persisted in spite of the discomfort that gnawed at her stomach. "He took care of Charles for a long time before he found me. Or well before I found him. But he had a lot to be angry about."
"I imagine." And you could.
Humans were their own enemy at times, destroying all that was good in the world. After witnessing what Fortuna went through—where her path lay—you understood how people would rather villainize what they didn't understand. Logan faced it each day, the difference of being someone who slipped by unnoticed yet could never truly reveal himself.
A man that carried the grief of all he lost and persisted despite the pain.
"He would have liked you," Laura mumbled, her eyes growing heavy with sleep's desperate call.
"I don't think–"
"You're like Charles." Her eyes slipped shut, body sagging into the mattress, while you were stunned into silence. "That's why."
She fell silent before the words managed to sink deep into your mind—puncturing a spot of love that existed in spite of all this agony. A place that Logan claimed all to himself. Yet as you lay there, tracing the lines of his daughter's face with your eyes, you felt her memory merge with his. Creating a small corner of your world for her to reside in—a home in your heart.
Tucking the blanket around her shoulder, you met sleep's call with a pleased sigh. It gripped you tight, closing its arms around your steady beating heart. Unbeknownst to you as the clock struck two in the morning, a shard of your broken heart wedged itself back into place. Healing over with a jagged scar sewn together by the girl who longed for permanency in a world that offered her the bitter end of a short stick.
The girl who asked for her father and got a mother instead.
Burnt pancake batter filled your senses, burning the insides of your nostrils as you were roused from sleep to the sharp off key singing of Wade in your kitchen. The spot beside you was empty, the sheets cold, and with a ragged sigh you sat up. Rubbing the sleep from your bleary eyes. What slowly became your favorite part of the mornings—waking up beside a man who did everything he could to keep you between warm sheets—suddenly shifted into a horrid dream.
You were alone. Again.
The familiar prick of tears stung your eyes faster than you would have liked. Although that might have been the pancakes.
In sluggish movements, you dragged a flannel over your t-shirt to combat the frozen chill beginning to settle in the New York air. Fall was right around the corner, leaving you with a list of things to do before the apartment was back in working order. The window still sat unfixed—plastic taped over the gaping hole per Wade's instructions—and the radiator gave out after Fortuna's whip went through it.
"Just call me angel of the morning," Wade crooned, flipping another charred piece of bread onto a stack that began to lean four pancakes ago.
Laura watched it warily, her fingers gripped around a can of shitty soda you picked up for her two days ago. Coffee was offered as an alternative to her sugary habits; she offered to steal in case you were low on funds. You figured it was easier to appease than argue.
"Do you even know how to cook?" she muttered, taking another gulp.
"Such a ray of sunshine. It's like Logan is still here with us." Wade poured another glob of chunky batter onto your now ruined cast iron pan. "Tell me does that come from your genetics or is it a fancy power they gave you?"
She snorted, her claws coming free to stab at the pile and drag a pancake to her plate. "Genetics."
"I figured." He slid the syrup her way, the bowl in his other hand nearly tipping the batter onto the floor. "Use a fork, you alley cat. Housewives do not get paid enough to cook a fantastic meal and serve it too."
"You're not getting paid," Laura mumbled through a mouthful of food.
"Exactly." His head glanced towards the stove, eyes narrowed in mock irritation. "We should talk about that huh Feige."
A pancake slipped off the stack, hitting the counter with a heavy thud and you began to wonder if the bread was in fact what he said it was. Ever since you woke up in the mansion, Wade had been your chef morning noon and night. Each meal entirely came with
Laura squinted at the smoke rapidly rising to the ceiling. "Maybe you should cook them for shorter periods of time."
"Don't question my methods, I'm a pancake champion Oliver." Her face scrunched, disgust flooding across her narrowed gaze. "Oliver and Company? Orange alley cat led and taught by the smooth dog Dodger?" She shook her head. "Greatest take on Oliver Twist to exist?"
"Never heard of it."
He dropped the bowl, jabbing a finger in her face quick enough to startle you where you hid by the doorway. "I hope you're ready to have your life changed Howlett Junior by the voice of Billy Joel taking away all our worries. Right sweet angel?"
Your attempt to meld yourself into the wall proved unsuccessful when Laura turned to smile at you, trepidation rising to the surface in her eyes. They watched you with an air of indecision. After Logan left you became a ticking time bomb—each second passing quicker than either of them expected—and one day when it was least expected...you'd explode.
Every emotion you tried to push down would shove its way to the front, rendering them unavoidable. That's what terrified you the most. It scared them too—you could see it hidden beneath looks of false joy and hopeful glances. They wanted you to heal, to survive this grueling time of solitude.
You simply didn't know if you had it in you to appease their worries.
Peeling away from the doorframe, you moved closer with soft unsure movements. So unlike the person from before who got over the unrelenting fear of being seen, of one day being known. He read you like a book, flipped the pages with enthusiasm and love, and you thought what resided in your own heart was enough to keep him reading. You believed he might put pen to paper and script what lay in the path of your lives spent together.
But he stopped reading weeks ago, shutting the half empty story to save you from the grief that devoured him from the inside out.
He let you remain unfinished. Perhaps that's how you were always meant to be.
"Tell me somewhere in that sexy mind of yours there's a version of Oliver and Company, cause I can't be surrounded by uncultured fiends," Wade rambled, tossing two pancakes onto a clean chipped plate he slid your way.
"I know of it," you replied. The meek echo of your voice sent a wave of shock through your system—so different, so unrecognizable.
You wanted to be known again, to exist in the confines of someone's mind. Wade and Laura offered up theirs on a silver platter—promising not to tarnish the fracture spirit housed in your weary body.
The burnt flavor of bread nearly made you gag, but Wade's smile forced you to swallow with a half hearted grin. "Isn't it a cartoon?"
Wade huffed. "And we’re comic book characters. What else is new?" Chewing happily on his own plate, he drowned his breakfast in a heaping wave of syrup that dripped onto your flour covered counter. "The offer to watch it today is on the table."
You swallowed thickly, nose wrinkled at the bitter flavor that stuck to the back of your throat. "Actually I'm gonna go into work today."
They froze. Unease stirring to life in the small kitchen as they regarded you with the hesitation you'd grown sick of facing. You couldn't be a recluse for the rest of your life, spending days watching movies on your couch with Wade—sharing quiet dinners with Laura at the table that housed a vase full of decaying flowers. Things wouldn't come to a halt because a man exited your life—they couldn't.
Logan left to heal.
It was time you did the same.
"I don't have much sick leave left," you began, the argument ready to leap off the tip of your tongue. "And my shift ends at six, which gives me enough time to pick up some actual dinner."
"Wolverine 2.0 goes with you," Wade replied—the stern lilt of his voice jarring you for a moment.
"Wade–"
"She goes."
There remained no room left to place your well thought out points in, no space for you to budge on his only demand. You supposed this was better than having both of them show up out of the blue. Your boss hardly let you get away with Logan showing up once or twice; two heroes would send them over the edge, eventually leading to your job being terminated.
You sighed, pushing the food around your plate for a second. "I guess she can learn something. Since she's supposed to be in school."
"You know I'm right here," she interjected, shoving the empty dish towards Wade.
"Hush. The adults are talking." He threw a wink your way, eyes glinting with a mischief that dimmed the day Logan left. The sight filled your lungs with air, hope settling at the base of your empty heart. "I'll pack the lunches."
Warmth filled the empty crevices of your body—sparking life into a part of you that had been vacant for weeks. "You don't have to."
"Shush. I've got to take care of my little breadwinner." He pinched your cheek hard enough to send pain flaring down your neck. "Besides I need to live up to my role as wifey or Ness will stop calling me that in bed."
Laura groaned, her eyes shutting to the sight of Wade's brash smile. "Gross."
"Ew," you replied, unable to hide the grin that cracked across your dried lips. "I didn't need to know that."
"Au contraire. If I had to hear you and Logan go at it for hours at a time. Kudos by the way it sounded like he gave phenomenal dick. You get to listen to me yap about my sex life."
Laura sped past you, vanishing into the bathroom and slamming the door shut with her boot. You couldn't blame her reaction. Hearing about her father's life drudged up pain that still existed in the back of her mind. Grief that she'd have to work through. Yet if she was anything like Logan, you'd have to face your own broken trauma in order for her to finally face hers.
"Yap?" you inquired, desperate to move on from the topic of him.
"Yeah. It's what all my fellow Gen Z’ers are saying."
With brows furrowed, you bit back the swell of laughter that bubbled up your throat. "Wade you're older than me by–"
His hand clapped over your mouth, muffling the remainder of your sentence. "Shhhh." A quick glance was thrown to the side. "Last I checked this is the Logan show. Not the Wade show. Well...not yet anyways."
"Hey Wade," you mumbled beneath a scarred palm that gripped your cheeks together. "Thank you."
For the first time all week...Wade gave you a smile that finally reached his eyes. Irises plagued with the same flicker of sadness that weighed heavy in your heart. The feeling of loss within a found family—of things changing faster than you could process. In an instant you were back to square one, struggling to keep your head above water.
Only this time you weren't swimming these dark waters alone. This time Wade and Laura clung to you, dragging what remained to a shore of a different color. A life yet to be explored.
"Anytime angel," he whispered with a kiss to your temple—drawing you close enough to feel his heart beneath the thin t-shirt. An organ that beat for one more person, that carved out space for his small inkling of hope.
For the family made up of two mutants, a blind woman, a sugar bear, the love of his life, and you.
The clatter of keychains echoed past the empty rows of shelves, bouncing off high ceilings decorated with yellowed lights. You caught sight of a small X-Men insignia stitched onto the side of the faded gray backpack. The stitches were frayed, the initials of L. K. H. placed right above it in sloppy angled sharpie, but the sight explained enough. Her entire life was stored within these aged pockets, in a pack held closed by a broken zipper and some faith.
"I like the Deadpool one." You watched her gloved hands toy with it for a moment, eyes glancing down the rows of darkened shelves every few moments.
Even here in the midst of silence and history, she remained on guard.
You wanted to promise a sliver of peace beyond all that she went through—a place where nothing happened except the shuffle of books and moving of boxes. Only to realize that you'd never be able to tell her something so untrue.
She'd never be entirely safe again. That made you want to rip at the world until your hands went bloody and raw. Until there remained a guarantee that she'd be able to sleep at night, that when her father came home things would be different.
"Peter made it." She picked at the black polish on her nails—the bottle swiped off your vanity a week ago in the hopes you wouldn't go looking for it. "Said a member of X-Force should have the marker."
"Didn't...they all die?"
"Yeah. So it's more of a warning I guess?" She grinned, wide and bright and so carefree it tugged sharply at your heart.
You placed another stack on the cart, fiddling with the order. If you kept yourself busy you could stop thinking about him. You could shove each memory and shared moment of bliss to the back of your mind. This was your chance to find a small semblance of normalcy after so much damage, a change in the rapidly shifting path of your life. You used to enjoy shelving pieces of history—find contentment in the familiar pattern of routine.
Now his eyes haunted your mind. His touch was a ghost along the back of your neck. His smile was reflected to you in the face of his daughter—the crinkles around her eyes an exact copy of his.
You were doomed to repeat history, destined to break as Fortuna did with a shattered heart and the hope that one day he might come home and find you. He'd open the apartment door set in place by his calloused hands and find you right where he left you—waiting as time stopped and dust gathered and your heart called for a man lost in time.
"I've got to shelve these," you said, voice thick with unshed tears you swallowed down. "But feel free to pick a book okay?"
She nodded, dragging a small journal out of her pack—a chewed up pen with it. "Wade gave me your lunch."
"I'll come find you in an hour?"
"I'm not going anywhere." The words were said more for your benefit than hers—a way to appease the constant flicker of unease in your mind. Perhaps this is what she lived with her whole life. The pain of yearning for someone to come back to her, to stay.
You'd be that person.
You would stay.
Smiling one last time, you pushed the cart into a row sparse with books—the light clicking on above your head as your footsteps echoed off the wooden floor. Your boss texted you quick instructions before she took the upstairs shift, the piles left behind for you to sort through. It seemed that classes were back in session, each book taken out regarding some form of historical information on New York.
Your eyes caught the titles while you worked. Sliding books into their proper spot and discarding the paper slotted in as a placeholder. It became a mindless task. A job of familiarity that your muscles immediately recognized—your arms moving of their own volition. Giving free reign to your mind that turned over information at a rapid rate.
What happens now? What would life turn into?
Now that you were back in a place that held so much of your soul you found that fitting back into the mold felt wrong. You were a human who got caught up in the affairs of mutants. It had happened before to others like you, it would certainly happen again. Yet you weren't sure you could handle the pain of being tossed into the ring with no means of protection again.
Your heart barely survived the first time.
To do it again would mean signing your name along death's dotted line. Only this time the pact would be sealed with your own blood.
A tilted stack of books slid onto their sides, grabbing hold of your attention quicker than expected. You slammed a hand against them with the hopes of saving yourself from extra work. Only for the one in your other hand to slip, hitting the cart with a thud and shoving it a foot away. Your mind went into overdrive—the noise of metal clanging against the tall shelves reverting into the all too familiar crack of a whip.
You gasped, leaping back as if the pile burned right down to your bone—the books toppling to the ground in rapid succession. A domino effect that would leave you crouching for a good twenty minutes to put everything back in its rightful spot.
"No," you exclaimed, your voice unwavering amidst the anxiety that filled your stomach.
Something ripped at the base of your spine, crackling through your body like a livewire. It pulled at every nerve, every tendon and muscle, until you were positive this was more than an overwhelming amount of stress. Your vision went black, a glare of light flashing behind closed eyelids, as the world went still and time rolled to a deathly halt.
Blue washed off your stiff form in rolling waves, curling around your stretched arms and down to the fingers that nearly curled around a book held in midair. A rush of cold air flooded your lungs, expanding them in your chest with a strength you'd never experienced before. As if the missing piece within your DNA finally settled into place—a spot always meant to hold something else.
A power that flared to life with a burning wave of heat.
It welcomed you like a long lost friend. Burrowed into the broken parts of your chest with a promise to put you back together. Time trickled by as your heart started up again—beating slowly against your ribs. Surging past each part of you that intertwined with this newfound link.
You sucked in another breath, eyes fluttering open with a flash of cerulean to see Laura struggling along the bookcase. Her face screwed up in pain, claws buried in the wooden shelves to drag herself forward. She moved an inch at a time, her cry unable to fill the vacant air as she struggled to rip you from the power that fractured your mind.
Such an inconceivable topic: time. Centuries prickled across your skin, millenniums made a home along each bone that grinded to a stop, decades offered you a life that might have ended at the age of eighty.
Infinity. Immortality. An end that rivaled Death.
Oh...what bliss.
"Yes," you relented. An answer to the question that would never be said aloud.
Another pulse of energy flowed off your shoulders, spilling across empty shelves—rattling the boxes that began to topple to the floor. If you weren't careful you'd bring destruction to a building that became your second home. But the consciousness you relied on was suddenly nowhere to be found.
"Stop!" Laura's voice struck you across the face, punching into your chest with enough blistering pain to wake up your mind to what was happening within you.
Slamming your hands against the shelves that stood on either side of you, the light of blue sputtered out, dying quick enough for you to get a hold of your body. Time fell back into place, the books you nearly dropped crashed to the floor with a loud clatter of thuds, and you collapsed. Your knees hit the floor harshly, pain coursing up your legs. Yet you could barely keep your eyes open.
"Laura," you wheezed, body sagging against the shelf.
She collapsed beside you, gathering your hands into a vice-like hold. "What happened? What the fuck was that?"
"Fortuna..."
"Is she alive? Is she here?" Her head raised, eyes scanning the vacant area for signs of your variant self.
"She–" Your vision swirled with spots of black, your head fuzzy with the prick of power that wanted to consume you. "I–"
"We gotta get you home," she muttered, shifting her strength to lift you to your feet—body braced heavily on her as she walked. "I'm calling a cab. Stay with me okay? Just stay awake."
The distant ring of her phone echoed in the background as she dragged you with her, a familiar muffled voice coming through the small speaker. Wade. You wanted to speak to him. Ask him what just happened. But only one person would hold the answers—only one person would make you feel alive again. You sucked in a shaky breath, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. The image of him—his smile, his love—filling your broken mind.
"I'm taking her home," Laura muttered into the line.
Her voice became a buzz in your ears. Sharp and unrelenting and inescapable. Your vision went dark, mind succumbing to the painful twisting of your gut—the need to be anywhere else overtaking every other thought. Laura called your name, shook your shoulders, but the world faded away before you could reach out and grasp it; your body sinking beneath the depths, drowning in the soothing waves of time.
“How did you sleep?”
“No nightmares.”
“Are you lying to me Howlett?”
“I’m not lying,” he confessed. “I didn’t really dream of anythin’ this time around.”
Your own laughter pricked at your ears. “Don’t tell me. It was because of me.”
“I think it might be bub.” His touch ghosted across your skin—breath a wash of hot air against your skin. “Guess you’re my cure. Been lookin’ for awhile.”
"Logan," you murmured, eyes fluttering open.
His smile lit up the darkness in your chest—eyes crinkled and lips parted in a sigh of love. "Yeah bub?"
"Y-You're here..."
A hand curled around the back of your neck, drawing you in close enough to make the steady beat of your heart flutter. "Where else would I be honey? I woke up with ya."
"But you've been gone." Your brows furrowed, the haze in your thoughts blocking anything other than him. "I was with Laura–"
He stilled. "Laura?"
"She was helping me," you mumbled, attempting to force your eyes to stay open. "At the library."
"You're just dreamin'," he chuckled.
"But I'm not–"
Lips that haunted you in your sleep brushed across the bridge of your nose—his fingers scratching at the base of your scalp with a hum. "You haven't met her yet honey. How could you be with her at the library?"
You wrenched your eyes open, clutching at the covers that lay over your bodies in an iron grip. "Fortuna–"
Logan's body went still, his head rearing back to stare at you in abject horror. "How do you know her name?" he rasped. "I never told you..."
"What are you talking about?" The buzzing filled each sense, each part of your already numb body. "Wait. No. I need more time," you begged, tears rushing to the surface.
His face blurred, your name a distant call on the tip of his tongue as the waves crashed over your body. Dragging you back to a shore meant for you. Darkness swallowed you whole in an instant. Until you could barely catch your breath—the speed of time rushing to a quick stop. Within the hold of darkness, the drifting peace of nothingness, you heard it.
The vibrant sapphire call of a woman you believed to be the enemy.
“Do better than me."
"Love him the way I couldn't.
You gasped, thrashing against the vice hold that wrenched you apart. The voice whispered soothingly in your ear, a warm compression against a heart that longed for more than this unfathomable excruciating ache.
She drew you to your feet, hands clasped around your wrists, and helped you stagger to the ocean's edge. She faced you with a mirrored smile that faded weeks ago—her eyes bright and flickering with peace.
"Do what I couldn't." Thumbs pressed into the base of your wrist. "Protect them. All of them."
A thick sob ripped from your chest—eyes blurry with tears that refused to stop. "How? I-I shouldn't be this."
"It was always meant to be you. Not me."
"W-What?"
"When Death asks for your hand. Take it. She will lead you home." The scathing brightness of sunlight burned your closed eyelids, pushing you towards something familiar. A place you knew would protect you. "Until then. Show them that time was never the enemy. We're simply their companion."
"Fortuna!" you cried, the form of her slowly dissipating back into the realm of darkness not yet meant for you. "I can't do this! I'm not supposed to be this!"
"Tell him I'm sorry."
Hands grasped at your shoulders. The cold press of metal against the bare skin of your arms jolted you awake—lungs expanding with air that felt like home. The floral scent of your laundry soap filled your nose, the warmth of your bed dragged along your body, and the brush of hair on your neck drew you back to the present. Your eyes fluttered open, chest heaving for any amount of air you could draw in.
"Laura?"
She sighed, dropping the hold she had on your shoulders. "You did it again."
"Did it again?"
"Looks like someone got jealous of all these special powers around her," Wade teased from the doorway of your room—a glass of water in his hand.
"What?" you croaked, suddenly aware of how raw your throat was.
He huffed, settling on the side of your bed. "You've got a bad case of the McFlys. Traveling to and fro in the timeline. Don't think the big guy upstairs will like that very much."
"God?"
"Victor."
You choked. "Who?"
"Or maybe it's Loki," he huffed. "I get that show's timeline confused. Anyways up you go. Drink this. Nurse Wade's orders."
With reluctance you downed the glass of water, Laura's watchful gaze burning into your from the chair. They moved with hesitation brimming to the surface of their eyes—a glaze of uncertainty prominent in each shift of their bodies. They were scared. Whether it was due to what you were turning into or what you could become. You couldn't be certain at this time, but the fear still lingered in the air.
Thick and bitter and so unlike the two mutants who'd become your family in the past few weeks.
"What's happening to me?" you whispered, Wade's hand reaching for yours with a placating grin.
"I've got one guess and it's dredging up memories of that fucker Francis, but dormant mutant gene." The panic in your eyes had him reaching for your other hand. "Hey look at me angel okay? I know how to handle this."
You shook your head, that unsettling twist in your gut rising to the surface. "I'm not...No. That's not possible. I would have..." You hiccuped, oxygen becoming harder to reach for as his words began to settle along your skin. "I would have known," you whispered.
"I didn't." He drew you close enough for his nose to brush your forehead. "That little surprise landed in my lap like a bad case of chlamydia. It's rare, but it happens."
"Why me?" you uttered, unable to process anything other than Laura's sharp gaze."
He sighed. "We don't get to pick and choose. Something must have triggered it."
Fortuna's hold on your jaw, the rocks scattered along the dirt digging into your back. It all came back to you. Her final words bleeding with an act of sacrifice—a promise to gift you with the curse she was unable to handle. Do better than her. Protect them better than her. Wield the ebbing and flowing of time better than her.
She awoke a part of you that had yet to come to life. A dormant section of your DNA that might have forever gone unnoticed if her powers hadn't unlocked it. She gave you everything, dropped the burden on your shoulders, because she knew something you didn't at the time.
You had people—a family, a lover—to keep you stable.
You had the one thing she couldn't save.
"It was always meant to be you. Not me."
Laura sat up, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. "It's time."
Wade glanced over his shoulder. "We don't know where he is Oliver."
She sneered, digging out the small phone from her vest pocket. "I do. I gave him the keys."
"Call who?" you rasped, barely able to process that you were back home somehow.
Until her eyes met yours and drew you back to the surface with a name that burned right through your heart. "Logan."
The sharp thwack of an axe against wood filled the still air. Mist clung to the area, settling over his shoulders with a wet layer of frigid condensation. He felt it weigh in his hair, sink into his flannel, and send a wave of cold familiarity through his body. A place he never thought could exist in a different universe somehow stood the test of time. The Logan that came before was somehow more like his variant self than expected.
He sighed, wiping the sweat from his forehead—the split open skin of his palms healing over before he could get a glimpse of them. The axe remained lodged into a mangled tree stump. Slivers and pieces of all that he chopped scattered in the clearing. He'd have to pick them up eventually, but he chose to stick with the same motion.
A piece of muscle memory he'd grown used to.
The sun began its descent beneath the thicket of trees, nightfall coming once more to a home occupied by a single person. Merely him and the stack of unread books left behind by a man who shared his taste. He yanked the flannel off his body, tossing it to the chair on his small porch, setting another log into place with a breath.
"Fuck," he muttered, cracking his neck slightly.
A mug of cold coffee sat discarded on the small table he constructed two weeks ago. A means to an end. A way to keep his racing mind busy from the pain that echoed like a bad dream in his head. He'd forgone the whiskey bottles stored in the liquor cabinet, opting for the bitter tang of the wine you preferred with your dinner.
The image of your smile kept him awake most nights. The sound of your laughter playing on a loop like a scratched record he clung to. This was his salvation. Your memory, your joy. It kept him going on days where the horrors threatened to drag him beneath the surface of the Earth.
He dug his grave long before he met you. Whether or not he crawled into it relied on one simple fact.
Though he dragged you through hell—became the cause of so much suffering within your life—you still loved him. You were waiting for him to come home.
"Desperado," he hummed, yanking the axe out of the splintered wood. "Why don't you come to your senses."
Discarding the tool to the side, he gathered what wood might be needed for a small fire. It wouldn't have any effect on whether he stayed warm or not, but it would put him at ease after such a grueling task. Tomorrow he'd go back to work at the yard—his measly paycheck enough to keep him fed with meals cooked in solitude.
He tossed them beside his fireplace, wiping the dirt and mud from his hands with the damp flannel. Life shifted the second Laura handed him the keys to this house on the edge of nowhere. Back to a routine he once knew so well. To a life that once offered him the facade of peace. He might have deluded himself into thinking it would happen again—that he'd get the chance to breathe again.
But your memory clung to his soul. You refused to release him from the spell of your love.
Fortuna's memory remained at the back of his mind like a long lost friend—someone who once offered him a future filled to the brim with hope. And then there was you. His honey. His lover till death. You were the reason he kept himself breathing, the reason his heart continued to thrum in his chest.
You were his savior, guiding him through the grief with a warm smile and a kiss of life.
The shrill ring of his phone broke the haze of memories he found himself in. Dropping into the chair beside his bed, he unlaced his boots—yanking the device out of the drawer on his dresser. He rarely needed it anymore. The contact he had with the rest of the world now whittled down to the people he worked with and the cashier at the small market.
With a sigh, he flipped it open in the hopes it was Wade calling to finally bug him about returning. It wouldn't be unusual. Weeks went by sluggishly, dripping like honey from the jar as he attempted to fix the broken parts of his heart.
Leaving without saying goodbye is what hurt the most. His silent kiss pressed to your cold forehead, his lingering gaze that did what he could to burn your features into his mind. He wanted you with him. Here in this small home. He wanted to hear your laughter fill up the empty spaces, the warmth of your love shining in the air with a palpable physicality that stole his breath away.
Logan ached for you.
But you didn't deserve a man riddled with demons. Certainly not the version of himself that left you behind.
Laura's name flashing across the screen set that familiar unease back in his stomach. The terror that something happened again—something brought you pain when he wasn't there to protect you—filled the crevices of his heart. And with a shaky breath, he answered.
"Laura."
She interrupted him before empty pleasantries could rise to the surface. "You need to come home."
He swallowed thickly. "What happened?"
"I can't explain over the phone, but it's bad. She's not gonna cope without you here."
"What the fuck do you mean cope?" he bit out, his eyes flashing to the small framed image of you that sat proudly on his nightstand. "Is she hurt?"
"No."
He sucked in a breath, relief washing over his shoulders. "Is she okay?"
Laura hesitated. "She's...broken." The word struck him with a visceral anger—an emotion that nearly caught him off guard. "She needs you here Dad. Wade and I can only do so much and if I knew she was dormant I could have helped sooner."
Dormant.
He stiffened, fingers tightening around the phone hard enough for it to crack. "What do you mean by dormant?"
Laura sucked in a breath. "She's..." A beat of silence filled his chest with a fear he never knew could exist in this universe. "She's like us, Dad. She's like her."
Like her.
The world shifted on its axis as he sat there listening to Laura's shaky attempts to explain what occurred. How you needed him this time around. His heart rammed an unsteady beat in the confines of his chest. An echo that rang with a crippling hollow promise of loneliness. Only this time it didn't scream for him—it raged for the person he loved.
The person he left behind.
"Send her here," he said. And before his mind could comprehend the words spilling past his lips, he made a vow he failed to keep—a promise he'd fulfill until his final breath. "I'll keep her safe."
note: this is incredibly late than what i originally planned, but life has been chaotic. and to everyone in the us who are struggling, i hope you take care of yourself this week. we got this and i love you.
#logan howlett x f!reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett#my writing
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It’s always Price getting the under desk support but what about ME
Cw: f.receiving oral, hidden sex, public sex, price being needy, husband!price
Something something about John married to an office worker who whenever he's home always pops by on her lunch break with something. Coffee, sweets, something from that sandwich place you love down the street. But you keep on getting in shit because he’s not supposed to be in your office because of “confidential files” or whatnot.
John already has limited time with you and he isn’t meeting you in the lobby, no.
So he just sneaks back into your office. Looking gruff yet confident enough that most just think he’s a maintenance worker. Shushing you when he comes into your office and shuts the door.
“Just missed ya bird,” he hums, mouth already slotting over yours, tasting like tobacco and the coffee he brought you both. Yours obnoxiously flavoured with enough things to get him tongue-tied when he was ordering it.
He’s all over you for the first week or so that he’s back. Waking you up with his mouth on your tits, half-hard cock rutting against your thigh. Groping you appreciatively while you do some supper or laundry, murmuring bout how much he loves you.
This is no exception.
He’s worming his tongue into your mouth, hands pawing at your ass through that pretty skirt jesus he really should just find a way to hire you on base as his little secretary so he can have you whenever he wants-
The knock on your door has you choking on his saliva, eyes wide as you think of where to hide a 6-foot big ass man in your cramped office.
‘You busy?’ has you shoving him haphazardly under your desk. Calling back out and letting your new, young coworker come into your office. She’s always talking and coming to you for every little thing which normally you don’t mind but you know she wouldn’t keep quiet about seeing your husband back here.
John’s big body bent in ways he really doesn’t appreciate until you clamour back into your chair and slide back in front of your computer. Legs spread to accommodate the man under your desk. And of course, your skirt is giving him the perfect view up to your clothed pussy.
Burying his face between your legs, skirt pushing up from his head and when you try to clamp down he’s still trying to move forward. A man on a mission, beard scratching along your thighs too noisily and making you finally relent.
Fat tongue tonguing along your folds through your underwear. Spit soaking the fabric as he tries to tonguefuck you through it. Trying to taste you through it.
And you just have to sit there and keep quiet, listening to your coworker yammer on and on about what you can’t quite tell but shes is happy with you just responding with nods and placating ‘oh yeah’s n ‘definitely’ that eventually tapper out because John is working just right and his nose is pressed right into your clit and if you just sit back a little you’re sure he’ll be able to just get right where you need him-
“Oh did your husband come by?”
You just about bolt out of your skin when she mentions him, eyes snapping to the coffees he’d left on the desk.
“Umm yeah, got me a little something for lunch…”
“You’re on your lunch and you let me keep talking? Jeez, I'm so sorry, you should’ve told me to shut ages ago.” She jokes and you can feel John grin.
By the time the door shuts, you’re already kicking away from the desk to look at this man and all his audacity.
Chin shining with his spit and your wetness, kneeling under your desk like a dog yet looking more than content to be under there. Has you wondering if this was your penance for all those times you warmed his cock in your mouth during all those endless meetings and video calls.
“Come ‘ere, you only got 10 minutes left.”
Johns already dragging you back, hands bunching up your skirt. Already deciding you’re going to come at least once before he’s gone. Maybe more if he can convince you to let him stay past your break.
You don’t even have to do anything! Just sit there nice and pretty and tapping away on your computer and let the old dog entertain himself.
#make him grind against your leg while he’s at it#WHO SAID THAT?!#141#cod mw2#john price#captain price#price x reader#price cod
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Imagine you are in your lowest point ever in life, you live alone in a nice house, but you're extremely lonely and sad. One day, a cat appears in your backyard. He's clearly malnourished and hurt, and he's unconscious when you find him. You can see that he actually has a collar with a nametag, but no phone number. You know he has a family, a home somewhere, but you can't really take him there and you also kinda think you can take better care of him. You actually pour all your ability to love onto this little fur ball, and you do save his life, so who cares if sometimes he cries while looking out the window? You know he's safe inside, you are doing everything in your power to make him happy and safe because you love him, he gave your life meaning. You buy him the best food and toys and a comfy bed, everything. About a year goes by and then, out of the blue, someone comes to your house and tells you that you have to let the cat go because he wasn't yours to begin with, he misses his family and has to get back home. What's more, they tell you that you can't take him there, that he has to face all those dangers that first brought him to you in the first place all by himself. You cry, you are angry and frustrated, you don't understand why this little baby doesn't want to stay with you when all you ever did was love him. But you let him leave. And now everyone hates you because you kept him from his home, and yes, maybe it was a mistake, and maybe it was wrong, but it didn't feel wrong at the time, you had the power to give him a great life, so why would you think he would choose the risk?
This is about Calypso in Epic: The Musical btw. She was definitely wrong for keeping Ody in the island, but she is a fucking goddess, in her logic it was within her power so why wouldn't it be within her rights? Again, she's definitely in the wrong, but Odysseus himself has done worse in the name of love and yet he's just a mere victim? That's not fair. Calypso is as complex a character as he is, she is very lovable and naive, and deeply wishes for Ody to love her and be thankful that she saved him and gave him everything he could ever want or need. She could make him immortal, she would do anything for him. She believes him wanting to go home to his wife is just a human whim that will go away once he sees everything she's willing to give him. And seven years is nothing when you're immortal, so she can wait it out patiently.
Also, Ody knows how pure of heart Calypso really is. He knows she hasn't done anything worse than the lengths he would go for Penelope, and it's been seven fucking years. Of course he loves her, not romantically, but he does love her. For the last seven years of his life she has been his everyday, she's been comforting and sweet and offered him love and luxuries. He loves her and he still sees her as an antagonist and that hurts them both. Leaving definitely wasn't easy for him either, but he had one goal in mind. One.
Also if someone comments anything about Calypso SAing Odysseus, NO SHE FUCKING DIDN'T. Even if the song didn't make it to the final version, Apetite shows us that she never actually forced him!
Anyways if you actually made it this far, I hope you have an amazing day, and remember: if you hate a morally grey character when is a woman of color but love it when is a white dude maybe the problem is not in the morality of the character. Ok, love you! Thanks for reading, byeeee
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𝗂𝗆𝖺𝗀𝗂𝗇𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝖿 141 + 𝗏𝖺𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗋𝗈𝗌 𝖺𝗌 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝖼𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝗋𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗌 ; 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝖾𝖾 ── .✦
── .✦ 𝗀𝖺𝗓; "𝖺 𝗋𝗂𝖼𝗁 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗌 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗉𝗈𝗈𝗋 𝗆𝗂𝖽𝖽𝗅𝖾 𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗌𝗌 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇."
it was a quiet evening, the streetlights casting their soft glow on the corner chippy where the two of you always met. you hummed a happy tune as you walked up to your usual table, the heavy scent of fried chicken wafting in the air as you passed kyle his own healthy portion of food.
“i told you, you didn’t have to pay,” kyle said, his tone more exasperated than stern.
“and i told you i like taking care of you,” you teased, your lips quirking into a playful smile as you nudged the box toward him. “besides, don’t act like you don’t enjoy it. you’ve never once said no to free chicken and chips.”
kyle rolled his eyes, but the faint smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. “it’s food. who says no to food?” he countered, reaching for a chip but avoiding your gaze.
“oh, sure,” you said, raising an eyebrow. “because it has nothing to do with the company or the fact you keep tagging along to my weird outings, like that experimental art exhibition last month.”
he groaned, though the flush rising on his cheeks gave him away. “you dragged me to that. i was just bein’ polite.”
you leaned forward, grinning. “polite? darling, you wanted to stay longer and even asked about the ‘existential crisis phase’ of the artist.”
his laugh was soft, and his shoulders relaxed as he shook his head. “maybe I just wanted to make sure you didn’t get lost in all that pretentious nonsense.”
you grinned, nudging him lightly. “face it, you like my taste in food and art.”
his expression softened, the banter fading into a moment of quiet warmth. “maybe i just like you,” he said, the words almost too quiet to catch.
your teasing smile faltered slightly, your heart giving a small, unexpected jolt. “good,” you replied softly, pushing the box of food even closer to him. “now eat before it gets cold.”
he sighed, shaking his head, but you caught the slight tug at the corner of his mouth, the smile he always tried to hide when you fussed over him.
as the two of you dug into your food, the conversation drifted to lighter topics—school memories, funny neighborhood stories—but it wasn’t long before the air shifted. kyle grew quieter, his usual animated demeanor dimming as he pushed his chips around the paper.
“everything alright?” you asked gently, leaning forward.
he hesitated, glancing at you, then back at his food. “it’s just… mum’s got these debts, y’know? they’ve been piling up for a while now, and…” he trailed off, his jaw tightening as he tried to swallow the frustration bubbling under the surface. “i can’t just leave her with all that. i’ve been thinkin’ about enlisting soon, but i don’t know if i can go until she’s sorted.”
your chest ached at the weight in his voice. he was always like this—shouldering burdens without complaint, looking out for everyone else before himself.
“have you talked to her about it?” you asked softly.
he nodded. “she says she’ll manage, but i can see it’s weighing on her. i don’t want to leave her struggling.”
you set your food down, your expression growing serious as you leaned closer. “kyle, you shouldn’t have to carry this all on your own. you’re trying to build a future for yourself—she’d want that for you too.”
he chuckled, wrinkling his nose, though there was no humor in it. “a future? come on, love. not everyone’s got what you’ve got.”
the words stung—not because he meant them to—but because you knew he was right. your family’s wealth was a chasm between you, one you’d always tried to bridge. but this wasn’t about money to you; it was about him.
“if there’s anything i can do to help, please tell me,” you said softly, your tone careful yet earnest.
kyle froze, his fork halting mid-air before clattering onto his plate. he looked up at you, disbelief flickering in his dark eyes, quickly replaced by something sharper—anger.
“help?” he repeated, his voice rising as he set his jaw. “what exactly are you offering, huh? to swoop in and pay off my mum’s debts like it’s pocket change to you?”
you blinked, startled by the sharpness in his tone. “kyle, I didn’t mean—”
he pushed his chair back with a scrape, standing abruptly and towering over the small table. “don’t pretend like you don’t mean it,” he snapped, his voice dripping with frustration. “you’re always treatin’ me, always payin’ for everything, and now you’re what? gonna save the day and solve all my problems with your bloody money?”
“that’s not fair,” you said, voice trembling as you sunk a little deeper into your seat.
“fair?” he barked out a humorless laugh, his hands gripping the edge of the table. “what’s fair about any of this? you sit there, livin’ this perfect life, actin’ all kind and generous like you don’t see the rest of us strugglin’. i don’t need your pity, alright?”
“it’s not pity!” you protested, your voice rising for the first time. “it’s me caring about you. about your mum. you told me you didn’t know how to handle it, so i thought—”
“well, don’t think!” he cut you off, his words laced with frustration. “i don’t need you to fix this for me. i need to prove i can handle it myself. i need—” he stopped, running a hand through his hair and exhaling sharply, his chest rising and falling with the force of his emotions. “i need to do this on my own,” he muttered, his voice quieter but no less tense.
you stared at him, your heart pounding in your chest, caught between understanding his pain and feeling the sting of his words. “kyle,” you said softly, trying one last time to reach him, “you’re not alone in this. please don't push me away.”
but he wouldn’t meet your gaze. instead, he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and turned toward the door, his movements quick and jerky. “just… don’t,” he said, his voice strained. “i can’t—” he shook his head, unable to finish the thought, before storming out of the shop without another word.
the door slammed shut, the sound echoing through the small shop and startling the worker at the register. at a nearby table, two teenagers exchanged wide-eyed looks before pretending to focus on their phones, clearly caught eavesdropping on the heated moment.
you sighed heavily, your gaze falling to the half-eaten plates of chicken and chips, now cold and unappetizing. the warmth and easy familiarity of earlier felt like a distant memory, replaced by the bitter sting of kyle’s anger and the helplessness coursing through you.
somewhere out there, kyle was wrestling with his pride, his fear, and his feelings for you, but tonight, the weight of it all had created a wall you couldn’t break through. for now, all you could do was hope he’d let you in before it was too late.
. . .
kyle stood in the small, cozy living room of his mother’s flat, the news still fresh on his tongue. “i’ve done it,” he announced, his voice steady but tight with unspoken emotion. “i’ve enlisted.”
his mother glanced up from the kitchen table, her glasses perched low on her nose as she worked on a crossword puzzle. at his words, she set down her pen, her eyes softening with pride. “i’m proud of you, my love,” she said warmly, though a flicker of something unreadable passed over her face—concern, perhaps, or the quiet weight of a mother’s worry.
on the nearby couch, his sister sat upside down, legs draped over the backrest while a glossy magazine rested in her hands. she arched an eyebrow at him, barely looking up from her reading. “really goin’ through with it, huh?” she remarked, her tone teasing but edged with curiosity.
kyle nodded, his chest swelling with a mix of pride and trepidation. “yeah. training starts in a couple of weeks.”
his sister gave a noncommittal hum, flipping a page but glancing at him sideways. “guess we’ll see if you can handle it.”
their mother shot her a look, though her expression softened quickly as she turned back to kyle. “you’ll do great,” she added. “i know you will.”
then, she hesitated for a moment. her warm smile shifted slightly, replaced by a more thoughtful expression. “actually, there’s something i need to tell you,” she said, her tone careful.
“what is it?” he asked, his brow furrowing.
“the debts… they’ve been taken care of.” his mother revealed cautiously, her hands folded in front of her.
kyle blinked, confusion turning to disbelief. “what are you talking about? how?”
his sister shifted awkwardly and sat up, glancing between them before slipping your name. “she paid them,” she admitted.
“she—” kyle’s voice sharpened, his jaw tightening. “she? you’re telling me she went behind my back after i told her not to?!”
his mother’s face hardened, her tone firm as she cut him off. “she didn’t go behind anyone’s back. she came to me, kyle. talked it through like an adult.”
“she didn’t need to—”
“and neither did you!” she shot back, her voice rising. “she didn’t pay it all off and leave us beholden, kyle. we made an agreement. a repayment plan. something i can manage, with no handouts. she insisted on it.”
kyle’s anger faltered, confusion flashing in his eyes. “a repayment plan?”
his mother nodded, her voice softening but still resolute. “she took what you said to heart, kyle. she knew you didn’t want charity. this isn’t about that. it’s about lifting the weight off my shoulders so you wouldn’t go off into the world carrying it.”
kyle took a shaky step back, his mind racing. “she still had no right—”
“don’t you dare say that,” she interrupted, her voice cracking with emotion. “she had every right to care about us. and i agreed to it. i wanted to, because she offered me a way out that didn’t make me feel small.”
kyle’s chest tightened, the anger and frustration warring with the truth of her words. his mother, his proud and strong mother, didn’t look diminished. if anything, she looked relieved—lighter than she had in years.
“i just…” kyle swallowed hard, his hands clenching at his sides. “it’s not how i wanted this to go. i was supposed to take care of it. take care of you.”
“and you are,” she said softly. “you’ve been doing it for years, kyle. more than you should’ve at your age. she just… she gave us a way to breathe. for all of us. and if you’d stop being so stubborn, you’d see that she did it because she cares about you.”
his sister chimed in, her voice teasing but warm. “she’s always cared, you know. you’re just blind.”
kyle scrubbed a hand over his face, his heart pounding. it stung, knowing you’d taken on this burden despite his protests, but it wasn’t charity. it was a gesture—a compromise. one that showed you’d actually listened to his frustrations.
“i need to talk to her,” he muttered, his voice low but determined.
his mother smiled faintly, nodding her head. “that’d be a good start, love. maybe try thanking her this time.”
. . .
in the end, he didn’t get the chance to apologize directly.
you had left for a month-long cruise with your parents shortly after his outburst, and by the time you returned, he had already shipped out for military training. still, the two of you managed to talk it over in your own way. there were no grand gestures or face-to-face conversations, just quiet words exchanged through texts and the occasional call.
for a few years, your connection endured through these messages—fleeting moments stolen between his deployments and your relentless schedule. kyle’s military career kept him constantly on the move, often shrouded in discretion, while your ascent to inheriting your parents’ corporate empire kept you tethered to boardrooms and international flights. every time you made plans to meet, they fell through, derailed by his operational secrecy or your last-minute travel obligations. still, the bond between you remained steady, each exchange a small anchor to the friendship neither of you wanted to lose.
it was his sister however, who finally pushed him to close the gap.
“you’re home for a month,” she said pointedly, older and used to his antics. “you’ve got no excuses this time.”
kyle groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. “it’s not that simple, alright? she’s got her own life now. busy as hell—she probably doesn’t even have time to—”
“stop,” she interrupted with a sharp look. “she’s been asking about you, kyle. she still cares. you’re the one holding back.”
his sister’s words struck a nerve, but they were the push he needed. the next day, armed with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a box of chicken and chips, he found himself standing outside your upscale apartment building, heart hammering in his chest. the doorman, a wiry older man kyle remembered from his teenage years, gave him a knowing grin.
“been a while,” he said, nodding toward the building. “still carrying things around for her, eh?”
kyle chuckled, though his nerves prickled at the edges. “some things don’t change, mr. vance.”
the doorman smirked. “you're in luck, she should be here any time now. she’s always got a busy schedule.”
kyle was about to respond when the purr of an engine drew his attention. a sleek, unmistakably expensive car rolled up to the curb, its polished surface reflecting the golden hues of the sun. his grip on the bouquet tightened as he saw you step out, radiant in a stunning dress that seemed to catch the light just right.
but what froze him in place wasn’t just how beautiful you looked—it was the man who hurried around to your side, offering his hand as you stepped down.
the stranger, dressed sharply and clearly brimming with confidence, lingered too long in kyle’s eyes, his gaze on you warm and familiar. kyle’s stomach twisted uncomfortably, his earlier rehearsed words evaporating into a mix of uncertainty and irritation.
but it all melted away the moment you spotted him right back.
“kyle!”
your delighted squeal pierced the moment, your face lighting up as if the rest of the world had vanished. you pushed past the stunned man and darted toward him with a speed that startled him, especially on those heels.
the flowers and box of chicken and chips slipped from his hands, forgotten in an instant as he opened his arms just in time to catch you, your momentum lifting your feet off the ground as he spun you in a full, effortless twirl.
his laugh rumbled in his chest as he held you close, the world tilting for a moment as your arms wrapped tightly around his neck. “bloody hell, love,” he murmured, his grin so wide it hurt. “you trying to knock me off my feet?”
“you were too slow!” you teased, pulling back just enough to meet his gaze. your eyes shone with the kind of happiness he’d dreamed about for years, and he couldn’t help the way his hands tightened around your waist, grounding himself in the feel of you in his arms.
the doorman, standing nearby, shooed the sharp-dressed man who had stepped out of the car with you, his tone firm but polite. “sir, if you’d kindly step aside. looks like they’ve got some catching up to do.”
the man opened his mouth to protest, clearly annoyed, but the mr. vance's sharp gaze left no room for argument. With a huff, the man retreated to his car, leaving kyle and you to your long-awaited reunion.
kyle’s eyes never left yours as he gently set you back on your feet, though his hands lingered on your waist. “you look… incredible,” he said, his voice low and slightly awestruck.
you flushed under his gaze, your hands still resting on his shoulders. “you’re one to talk, sergeant,” you replied with a playful smile, your fingers brushing against the edge of his collar. “look at you—beard, broad shoulders, all grown up.”
his ears burned at your teasing, but he chuckled, shaking his head. “i’ve been through a lot since i saw you last, but none of that compares to this.”
“to what?”
“this,” he said simply, his voice softening. “you. here. with me.”
your laughter bubbled up again, and you leaned forward, pressing a warm kiss to his cheek. “i missed you too.”
for him, the years of distance, the unanswered questions, and the lingering “what-ifs” all melted away in that moment. you were here, in his arms, where he’d wanted you to be for so long. and nothing—no doorman, no stranger, no time—could take that from him.
before he could fully process it, you were tugging him towards the building, your words spilling out in an excited rush.
“you’re not going anywhere until you hear about this new art exhibition! you’ll love it—i know it’s exactly your thing. oh, and that restaurant you sent me on insta? i’ll get us some reservation, turns out i know the owner! he goes to my pilates class! and! i know a guy who can get those sneakers you mentioned. you’re going to look amazing in them!”
kyle could do nothing but smile—a big, silly, completely unguarded smile—as he followed you, the flowers and box of chicken now safely in your grasp. you clearly cared very little that they’d been dropped moments ago.
at that moment, nothing else mattered besides the warmth of your presence and the light in your voice. for the first time in years, everything felt exactly as it should.
banner credit
#cod#cod fanfic#cod fanfiction#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x you#gaz x reader#gaz x you
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Bit of a fic idea (not necessarily a request). But what about a friends to lovers with Aaron Hotchner? Like they've been friends since childhood, she's a few years younger though. She was in the drama club with Hayley and is the reason the 2 met and she was the best woman at the wedding. But she's had a crush on Aaron for the longest time,t though always dismissed it as she valued the friendship more. She's Jack's godmother and is there for Aaron whenever he needs. She is a Sargent in the Marines, so gets the long hours Aaron does. She was deployed when she got the news about Hayley being killed by Foyet and rushed back as soon as possible. She didn't take another mission for a while after to be there for Aaron. Further down the line she considers maybe telling him her feelings but he starts dating Beth so she doesn't. Eventually she starts dating a guy in the army and Aaron is jealous though is in denial about why. It is only after Beth and him break up and he hears that readers bf might propose that he fully snaps out of his denial and confesses his feelings
That's such a good idea!!!! 💕 I don't know if I'll write the full thing one day but here's 1/2 and essay worth of thoughts I have about the concept!!
I imagine it would be even more heartbreaking and kind of a slow burn if you and Hotch knew each other before the drama club meeting with Haley. Like maybe you lived on the same street as kids and played together every day. And without realizing it back then, you were always meant to be together, because you just completed each other.
You would be a little jealous about Hotch starting to date Haley and eventually marrying her, as you had thought it would be the two of you one day. But since you value the friendship so much, you don’t mention it to him, just wanting him to be happy in the end.
The wedding especially hurt to be part of for you, but you pull through, keeping a smile on your lips as you attend, give your toast, and do everything you can to help. Hotch is so thankful for your support during the wedding.
You’re ecstatic when you learn about baby Hotchner, and when Jack comes into the world, you’re the first person he calls, seeing you as more like family than his blood relatives. And it might be the best day of your life (at the time) when Haley mentions they’ve been talking about godparents and then asks if you want to be Jack’s godmother.
When you start realizing that you’ll never be truly happy as long as you’re around Hotch almost every day, you decide to join the Marines, throwing yourself into the work and quickly moving up the ranks. And when Haley dies, you’re, of course, sad for Hotch, but somehow you feel kind of desensitized to death and don’t know what to say. Still, you drop everything and rush back to Quantico to be there for him—not so much emotionally, but at least to help him around the house and such.
Life eventually finds its rhythm again, and even though neither of you ever speaks about that time, you can feel something shift in him. But then Beth enters the picture. You see how his face softens when he talks about her, how he starts looking ahead instead of behind, and you can’t bring yourself to disturb that happiness. You tell yourself this is what you want—that his happiness matters more than yours.
You didn’t expect to meet someone else, but that’s how life works. You didn’t think much of it at first, but there’s a comfort in his company. Aaron notices. He doesn’t say anything, of course, but you feel the shift in the way his gaze lingers when you mention your boyfriend.
And when he hears rumors of an upcoming proposal, he can’t ignore it any longer. He shows up at your door one night. For a moment, you think he’s come with good news, but he only stands there, jaw clenched, his fists tight. “I don’t want you to marry him,” he says, and then, “I—God, I should have said this a long time ago. You’re more than just my friend. You’ve always been more,” he admits.
And then you kiss, and it’s really passionate.
#💌 - you've got mail#anon <3#hoe4hotchner answers#aaron hotchner#criminal minds#aaron hotchner x reader#hotch#hotch thoughts#criminal minds x reader#hotch x you#hotchner
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So I promised a postmortem and it’s finally time! Here’s the TL:DR. I loved it. I can already tell I’ll probably have more played hours in this game than Inquisition, and I fucking loved Inquisition! Good, bad, and ugly beneath the cut and there will be heavy spoilers for the entire game, so read at your own risk. (This is also long, because I have a lot to say!)
THE GOOD
Rook. Once I let go of my preconceived notion of how Rook was (mid-40s and serious but kind) and accepted Rook for the young, sarcastic character they are, I fell in love. Edda is going to be an A possibly even S tier OC for me
The dwarves. We were fed so well, y’all. So much lore and dialogue choices. There was even a Grey Warden dwarf specific dialogue choice. I love the confirmation of what we all suspected with the Titans. I just wish that a dwarf Rook had the opportunity to confront Solas. He apparently apologizes to Harding. But what about a dwarf Rook?
Exploration. I’m an idiot when it comes to figuring out in-game puzzles and such. I’ve read some complaints that everything was far too easy, but for one of the first times I remember, I could do a vast majority of puzzles and finding treasures without consulting a game guide. And I was actually proud when I figured things out. When I play Edda again, I’m going to 100% the world and I cannot wait
The Companions. Bonus points for Emmrich Volkarin. I ended up loving all of them. Even the ones I was very ‘meh’ on before playing the game. Like Bellara. She was on my list to romance second to last. And she has moved up to third, after Emmrich and Davrin.
Emmrich Volkarin. Yes, he gets his own special mention. I love him so much that I created a second Rook to romance him. That way I have one Emmrich that is not a lich (Edda’s choices) and one Emmrich that is a lich (Sonnet’s choice). I love his compassion, his kindness, his reverence of the dead. I adore his romance and how clear it is that Rook has bewitched him, body and soul. The fact that they lean into the age gap and it becomes entwined with his own fears of death. He has my favorite personal quest. I loved the music, the atmosphere. How it pertains to his own journey, facing his mortality (plus Johanna Hezenkoss can get it). Plus it has the banger line of ‘Show them what a real necromancer can do!’ I even can’t wait not to romance him and see what the friendship is like and encourage him to hook up with Strife
The backgrounds. Granted, I’ve only played through the game 1.5 times, but there have been so many background mentions. Especially for the Grey Wardens. Mourn Watch has some great ones too. I mean, there was Grey Warden romance banter during a fight. In a side quest! I can’t wait to discover more
The character creator. I love how inclusive it is, especially when you compare it to previous Dragon Age games. The hair is beautiful (but where is my braid crown! my kingdom for a braid crown!) and I have overweight OCs, which make me very happy. Varric's shaving mirror is also amazing, and because I want EA to know that people are using these options, Sonnet is a trans woman who will save Thedas
THE BAD
Weird tonal switches. Emmrich and Harding are going to Ferelden so she can show him around but the South is being razed by darkspawn. Harding’s mom sends her back with pie and gives great hugs. How in the world are they getting to Ferelden? Rook was amazed to see the Inquisitor in the North so why would the members of the Veilguard be able to go to the South? Some of the codex entries are so dark and yet everyone is happy in the Lighthouse
Give Rook a problem, please! I kept waiting for Rook’s LI to go up to her and ask if there’s anything distracting her. If there’s any problem they could solve together. But that never came and Rook is apparently the only person on the team that can’t be distracted by their own problems. How amazing would it have been if Rook had some sort of personal quest. Maybe based on lineage. Or background. Something that shows that she matters as much to her companions and they mean to her
The Act One Choice. Still mad about it. Are you telling me that two extra people would have saved Minrathous? That a city full of the most powerful mages in the known world couldn’t take down a fucking dragon? It didn’t feel earned and it did annoy me a great deal
Let. Rook. Mourn. While I appreciate that Rook was able to mourn Varric and Davrin (in my playthrough) privately, the fact that it immediately jumps to a sex scene sort of bothered me. Especially Emmrich’s taking them to the Necropolis so they can bang in a coffin. This was not the time to leave the Lighthouse, Emmrich! The rest of the team got to mourn Davrin and worry about Neve together. I wish Rook could have been a part of that too.
Let’s talk Varric’s death. I didn’t see it coming. I actually ranted to a friend before I knew what happened that they should have killed him in the prologue if this was how they were going to use him. Oops. I hate how callous the truth about his death makes Rook look. I hate that Harding and Neve didn’t even really seem to mourn. Hate how the Inquisitor or Dorian or Isabela don’t mention him at all. I hate how obvious his death is in my second playthrough. I will have to fix this all in fanfic
THE UGLY
Assuming there is another DA game, where do we go from here? I really dislike the concept of the Executors in the secret ending. One thing I’m optimistic about is that by basically wiping the south off the map, we might be able to have more games there. Because everything will have been reset, so to speak. How does the South deal with the mages when they’ve all been fighting darkspawn for their lives? Put them back into Circles? I think not
I’m also not sure about what choices would move forward into a new DA game. Not talking companion choices, but choices that actually affect the world. No matter what we do, the Blight is over and the Veil is safe. If BioWare couldn’t be bothered to have the Well of Sorrows choice matter, I can’t imagine they’ll care how Solas was bound to the Veil, whether it be by choice, trickery, or force. Minrathous or Treviso is the only other non-companion choice I can think of that might possibly matter
But honestly, it doesn’t matter, because who knows if we’ll ever get another Dragon Age game? I know I would love one, but I have this sinking feeling there won’t be (please let me be wrong!)
So there you have it. I really love this game, good, bad, and ugly. And I found so much more to love than to dislike. I have a feeling I will be yelling about this game (and Emmrich!) for a long, long time
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Ophelia's Son: Abigail
Summary: Abigail Adams turns up at the Harrington house to try and get Steve to help her schemes. Nobody agrees with her.
Following on from these Ophelia's Son Smoking and What Will Grow
Mostly inspired by the Feud in the Addams Family episode for those who know the 60's series.
/\
Since meeting the Addams’s and especially since he first had the flower crown take root, Steve had come to expect a few new reactions when customers entered Family Video. None of those helped when Nancy came storming in, not even reacting to him as she seized the phone, “Hello, Welcome to Family – Hey! Nancy, you can’t just use the phone.” He switched to complaining mid greeting.
As he impatiently watched, she dialled a number that looked like it was noted in his handwriting and held a finger up to emphasise she wanted him to wait while she called rather than complain about it immediately.
“Hello Mr Addams, I’m Nancy, a friend of Steve’s.” She greeted cheerfully and he snorted at the formality. He was sure the first reply would be something about calling him Gomez but resolved to carry on listening to why-ever his uncle had been called.
“Yes, he’s well… Yes, I’ll tell him, but I am calling for a reason sir… Yes sir, an Abigail Adams turned up at his house this morning. I was dropping something off and… Okay… I’ll do what I can… I’ll let Steve know to expect her. Thank you.” Nancy stared at the phone for a moment, a little surprised the call had finished so quickly though Steve wasn’t. While Morticia took her time to speak and think through her words, Gomez often spoke quickly and acted impulsively.
He cleared his throat after a moment of her staring though, still annoyed that Nancy had come all the way to Family Video to make a call she clearly could have done at his house. All the party knew where his spare key was kept after all.
“Sorry.” She apologised a little sheepishly, “That Abigail woman wasn’t leaving so I didn’t want to unlock the door after I’d locked it. I think she’s still parked outside your house, set on waiting until you’re home.”
“Okay, that explains why you called from here, but not why you’d brought the number with you or why you wanted to call them before telling me this.” Steve stated, unimpressed with her actions still. “Also who should I be expecting other than Abigail?”
Nancy glanced back at the phone. “Mama? Granmama? I think for you it’d be the latter, apparently she wants to fight Abigail over something, or they all dislike her, maybe. And I wanted to call them because Abigail mentioned how you or she should be head of the Addams family rather than Gomez. I didn’t mention that to him, did I?”
“Nope, but if she’s tried taking over before that might explain them disliking her.” He offered. “Maybe you could head to the library to see if anything about her has reached Hawkins newspapers.”
Nancy smiled, nodding and clearly happy to have something to research over the encounter that must have been more than stated given how unsettled she still seemed.
/\
He knew Abigail was someone disliked by his Aunt and Uncle and knew that she was probably still outside his house, but Steve was not expecting to have “Mr Harrington!” called out as soon as he got out of his car, nor the dark haired lady in a dress suit and kitten heels hurrying over to him while he straightened up.
“Steve, if I may. I so wanted to meet you. I’m your relative, Abigail Adams. Richard suggested I visit and I’m sure you’re just as charming as your father is.” The words were genially said but immediately soured him on her. Anyone his father liked was someone to be wary of, but also likely to be mentioned and bring anger if he scorned her.
Steve decided to worry over his fathers reaction later and headed towards the house, “Congratulations Abigail, you’ve met me.” He sarcastically called. “Leave now and you can keep that impression. Stay and I’ll have a fair few families helping you leave soon enough.”
“What?” She asked, shocked but so far keeping pace and intent on inviting herself in.
Steve smiled coldly, unlocking and stepping through the door fully enough to block her entry as he turned around. “Delighted. Goodbye.” He slammed the door, biting back an annoyed groan as locked it and heard knocking immediately start up.
He wondered what would happen in an hour when everyone started arriving for Hellfire since she was likely to still be there it seemed.
/\
“Hey, Harrington?” Gareth popped his head into the kitchen uncertainly.
Steve smiled warmly, carrying on setting out the snacks for the evening, “Yup, what’s up?”
“A couple ladies just invited themselves in and seem like they’re having the most polite fight ever.” Gareth glanced back over his shoulder as Eddie’s voice could be heard cheerfully greeting Granmama.
For a moment Steve frowned, “Was one of them the woman in a dress suit who’s been sat in her car all evening?”
“Yes. I know you said we shouldn’t let her in, but-”
“Don’t worry about it,” He interrupted the apology he could hear coming. “Perhaps if I let her say whatever it is she wants I’ll get her to actually leave.”
For all he hadn’t expected that to actually work, Abigail did leave to find a hotel after making her case for the head of the Addams family to him, often raising her voice as Granmama corrected, challenged or just interrupted her. He was sure that wasn’t the end of it though, especially when Nancy mentioned while picking Mike and Will up that this would be the fourth attempt Abigail had made to take control of the Addams fortune.
/\
Robin had come over to hang out and Dustin had refused to go home, even with Eddie giving everyone lifts. Both of them claimed they wanted to meet an actual Addams, not a Frump like Steve and his mother and had been getting along with Granmama for most of it.
Steve had been telling them about his first encounter with Abigail which had led to Robin and him joking over Starcourt and the Russian code, laughing between themselves since Dustin rarely found it funny given what happened next.
“Ah, young love.” Granmama smiled at the sight of the pair.
Dustin nodded, grinning broadly, “I know right! I keep telling them-”
“We’re not dating.” Steve and Robin cut off his insistence that that should date, matching glares on their faces as they stopped giggling together.
Granmama looked indignant at the words. “Only you reacted happily to her Russian. It’s only reasonable.”
“We went through stuff together around Russians. It’s not a romance language.” Steve explained, brow furrowed and shaking his head at how little sense she made.
“I’ll whip up some love dust. That’ll sort you.” Granmama nodded.
“No!” Both snapped, Steve adding on, “In fact you’re banned from the kitchen while you’re here. I’ll do the cooking as normal, thank you.”
Granmama nodded, “Well that’s just good manners, but I’ll still get some. It’ll do you good if the Russian reaction says anything. Just like the French one.”
Robin and Steve shared a look. “We’re not going to ask right now, and we’re never going to date. No need for any dust love or otherwise to fail at that.” Robin spoke for them this time. “It’s Platonic with a capital P.”
“And they’ll always say that.” Nancy agreed, knocking on the door frame. “That Abigail is a piece of work from everything I’ve read. Actually, before we all met Ophelia, that’s how I’d imagined her.”
“Can’t blame you there but it’s my father who acts like her.” Steve shrugged. “I think Will offered to have El try spying to figure out a way to get her to back off too.”
Nancy smiled, letting out a heavy breath. “Good. I really don’t like what I found.”
“I said Fester should’ve come with me. He might not be one for travel but he will shoot her in the back quick as you like. Might even hit her.” Granmama cheerfully suggested. “I’ve got my axe but that’s messy and I know Ophelia will plant daisies in our garden if I upset this house.”
“Hm, I could do that, but let’s see what secrets we can get to silence her first.” Nancy nodded, as if the suggestion was reasonable when they weren’t facing the Upside Down.
Steve held his hands up, looking commandingly between the two, “No. We do not condone murder outside of Hawkins events here. What would the kids start doing if we did?”
“Torture?” Granmama offered, as if that was a better suggestion.
He huffed, “Yes, they probably would start doing that too. So we won’t. See what you and El find out. Then blackmail her gone.”
/\
Apparently nothing more needed doing for Abigail to leave. She did stop by before going, asking Steve to call off the cousins or ghosts.
He played innocent and wondered if there were invisible Addams cousins or if El had decided to go further than just spying and instead moved things around to make Abigail think she was getting haunted. Either way she seemed to have given up on taking over the Addams family once more and that hopefully meant she’d leave him alone too.
“Morticia and Gomez will be visiting with the kids when school holidays start, but they’ll be happy to hear about you before then.” Granmama brightly said as a car pulled up outside. “And I’ll make sure they have love dust with them then.”
“You really don’t have to.” Steve gave a false smile. “I’ve got a partner already.”
He really hoped that meeting more of the Addams family wouldn’t get more pressures on him to date Robin, even if he was curious why reacting to a language being spoken would equate to love.
#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#platonic stobin#1960s addams family#grandmama addams#Abigail Adams
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Oh this is nice!!! I know that early 2000s LOTR fandom was extremely hard to deal with so more power to you for this one.
Honestly, I found the fandom a great place to be in those days. There weren't a lot of people writing Celeborn or even the Sindar in general, (other than Haldir and Legolas.) But the section of the fandom that I hung out in, I found delightful. Lots of really good writers, and a playful atmosphere in which we were all being inspired by each others' work and writing our own, and chatting about it with each other. I was lucky, maybe, but I have only pleasant memories.
I do remember what I thought was a thriving Elrond/Celebrian fandom in those days (although anything not-Legolas and not-Feanorian was obviously much smaller than those powerhouses.) I think it's great. Celebrian deserves a bit of development. If we want strong female characters in the Tolkien fandom we should maybe write more of them than just Galadriel, and surely Galadriel's daughter must have been special in her own right.
i think it's interesting that even in that one Celeborn is a Teler, and therefore always associated with the folk that got damaged by the Kinslaying
It *is* interesting :) I think Galadriel nails her colours to the mast as regards her support for the Sons of Feanor with that decision. And would have stood to potentially alienate herself from her whole people if not for Thingol embracing the Finarfinions and (cautiously) being okay with the people of Fingolfin. It's hard to go against your whole family for love - which is an interesting aspect of their story I don't see explored enough.
(Admittedly I haven't been in the fandom for 20 years, so it may have been done to death by now, but... somehow I doubt it.)
Also I like the version in which Celeborn is a Sindar, which also makes the marriage a mixed marriage in terms where Galadriel married a dark elf. There's a lot to be said about elvish racism in the way the Amanyar treat the elves of Middle-earth, and how that makes things tricky not only for Galadriel with her relatives but also for Celeborn with his.
I think that's sad that people ignore this and say that Celeborn never understood the real Galadriel (opinion that came from the show for some reason) or that he's just an useless betacuck with no personality because that's the only way a woman would have indipendence in her marriage, amirite? Because else a Real Man™️ would rather tame her, right ?
Ugh. This is still going on? Of course it is. Because we are more sexist than Tolkien, and we can't imagine a m/f marriage without subordination of one of the parties.
For some reason it seems to be impossible for people to understand that you can have a marriage where both people have their say - and are thus functionally equal - where one of them has more power than the other.
And yet that's easy - the one with power just refuses to exert it over the other person. They respect their spouse's autonomy because they are a good person.
Also it's possible their spouse has qualities other than power that make it only sensible to consider their opinion.
because they are your beloved and you want them to be happy
because they may have more knowledge of specific things than you and you trust their judgment
because they may have character traits you don't have and you need - ie caution, or wisdom. (See where Galadriel calls her husband 'Celeborn the Wise'. She obviously thinks he generally has good takes on stuff.)
etc
I can't believe I'm still having to argue for the equality and independence of spouses in this day and age.
The less said about Peter Jackson the better. To be fair, I loved the first film, but it was him having the elves of Lorien come to Helm's Deep that got me into fandom in the first place. I was like 'no. That's not how that happened. Do you think they didn't have stuff to do at home?' And then I wrote Battle of the Golden Wood to try to produce something that was a bit closer to canon.
If I wasn't so old and tired I would be tempted to write the story of the Fall of Eregion and the Forging of the Rings for the same reason. But omg I am so tired.
Objectively the funniest argument i've seen for the reason why Celeborn isn't in the show is that he's so boring that not even the showrunners know what to do with him and that he would be an useless baggage for Galadriel's story…
Well, they should do their job and think of something. I could do it. I could do it in a heartbeat. It's easy. How dare these people think that Galadriel's husband is going to be boring? What a travesty!
For what you say of the lore… you're right but i think that the Unfinished Tales rights are off so they cannot use them.
Oh yes, I keep forgetting about the copyright stuff, and their insane decision to write a story they don't have the rights to use the canon sources for.
They should have done something they *did* have the rights for, instead of just making up something that almost has to be wrong in order to be permitted at all. I'm sure there are an infinite number of stories that could be told around the events of LotR and The Hobbit.
What about that Haradhrim soldier that Sam wondered about, for example? I would genuinely love to see more about Far Harad and learn what lies Sauron told them to make them trek across Mordor on their war elephants to attack a city they'd probably never heard of.
You could add a female MC, a couple of blue wizards and some ex-Numenorian Corsairs and I'm sure you could mix up something fascinating that no one in Tolkien fandom could complain about at all.
(We still would complain, but it would be fun complaining and not whatever cannibalistic thing this is.)
Simon Tolkien should at least suck it up and if he was ok with Amazon's fic, to open the possibility for fans to publish LOTR retellings.
LOL! That would be great. I'm ready :)
Hoo, boy. I am definitely going to unfollow the Celeborn tag again, since it's full of Haladriel shippers arguing that Celeborn stans are harassing them.
I'm not getting into whether that's true. I have no interest in Rings of Power, and as far as I am concerned, Halbrand does not exist in Tolkien's world. I can't be somewhere where people mix Amazon's fanfiction with actual lore.
Also ship wars are not for me. I was a massive Celeborn defender during the release of the movies, and I wrote several novels worth of fanfic then. I think I'm spent.
Still, as a Celeborn fan I thought the Celeborn tag would be a great place to go to find stuff about Celeborn. How could I have been so foolish!
My poor lad! Not even his own tag is about him. Which is exactly what I should have expected, now I come to think about it.
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[dialogue template link]
#trying out a new thing#ffxiv screenshots#ajisaijar#pastjar#gposers#ffxiv gpose#im not happy with the dialogue; not 100% sure why but i just wanted to try this out#i want to explore ajisai's relationships in her decuria; especially with her decurion and her medicus veteranus#right now i'm thinking ajisai got assigned to a decuria much sooner than normal because healers are always needed and she has an aptitude#for it. officially she would've been a field medic so she would be 'jen' and she certainly would've taken an cognomen to make herself as#imperial as possible#ANYWAY#marcus pyr calidus is a piece of shit; he manipulated her into a corner where she couldn't understand conflicting messages#of praise and abuse; i'm still working out the details of what he does but for sure he was handsome and charming and maybe Ajisai was lowke#in love with him and would've done anything he asked ; and he totally took advantage of that#wanna know why ajisai has problems with authority? marcus pyr calidus bby#he's a big reason why ajisai tried to ditch haurchefant post one night stand and why she has a wall between herself and aymeric#is it love or is it the indoctrinated desire to please her betters/worship authority ?? is aymeric nice or is he working an angle#to make her more beholden to Ishgard? does she like him or is she just falling into line like a good little soldier?#who knoooowwwss?#i'm 100% just writing this shit in here so i can copy it down in the lil Ajisai binder I am apparently making because I'm obsessed
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Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
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ngl i think i kind of was a genius for being like 'yeah this character is a scary killyou cannibal scary killer who scary kills you' and then realizing that the way my worldbuilding works out is that there's a nonzero chance that if you leave literally any body parts over they can just come back, depending on what they believe in their heart of hearts can kill them. Of course she'd start eating her kills. She probably tried normal stuff first and then realized it didn't work and she had to try harder if she wanted to actually keep them dead.
#red rambles#im working on a character who i made up years and years ago and wasnt even happy with then because he didnt seem to have enough like#interior thoughts he was just like a guy who killed people when he was stressed and his life was constantly stressful and then he killed on#person too many and they were like 'this is fucking untenable and he has to die' and then they killed him#which is soooooooooo absolutely nothing honestly. Like it works as a barebones summary but i want to stress there was actually straight up#nothing else there. the entire rest of his whole whatnot was just being entangled with Haven who is a different character who at the time#ALSO felt unsatisfyingly lacking in interiority but at lesat he had really complex motivations and action flowcharts. that werent just 'i#get grumpy and i just go kill some random person with no regard for what the consequences will be and then i am so mean and i kill you'#now theres a lot more happening. i really didnt. like.#okay so i had a Backstory worked out but it was vague because i didnt know what the fuck he WANTEDDDDDDD right like. i had no motivations a#literally all except 'oohhh i kill people ooohhh i like killing people ooohhh im erratic i kill people' and the background i HAD was like.#Upper class scion of some rich family whose family honest to god just did not like him very much and also [gestures vaguely] i guess he#maybe kicked dogs or something and then he ??nebulous timeline meets haven and then kills his sister or kills his sister and very quickly#thereafter meets haven but i usually lean toward the former because haven LOVES convincing people to kill their whole families its like#cathartic for him because he would love to kill his entire family but physically cannot do it. but like kind of the implications of this#as far as i was concerned given this is set in the mid 1800s was like. ehhh he's getting away with this because he's rich white and male an#it pays to turn a blind eye to his indiscretions or w/e. a genderswap means that she'd be subject to a lot more scrutiny on basis of like#misogyny. LOL. and i already had the preexisting 'hates half sibling' (i genderswapped the sister into a brother because why not) and 'hate#parents' and 'parents strongly dislike her' and 'unsettling' and it worked nicely to start giving me actual fucking. Literally anything to#work with there. because it means that by going off with Haven she walks out of one situation where she has like 0 agency into another one#and like to be clear i respect anyone who is sitting around in haven's general vicinity for snapping and just starting to kill people. me t#but this works. SOOOOOOOOOO much better for real#im still working the kinks out but like also this means that she wins. she wins like multiple times actually. she comes closer to killing#haven than anyone since he learned what fucking species he was and causes him more trouble in the interest of getting the FUCK out of there#than anyone else has and then she fucking gets what she was going for against literally every effort haven could've made over ~five decades#get owned loser.#every time i draw her i cant help it i write some shit like PLEASE JUST GET DIVORCED on it even though i wrote the fucking narrative i know#it will never fucking happen and thats why she does all this shit instead#in another world she'd be like the wildly capable owner of Raytheon 2 or some other shit like that. like she'd never be a nice or good#person but she wouldn't be dead. god she could be in charge of a country or some shit. Alas. Please get divorced.
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Okay I don't do this normally but out of curiosity, I looked at that guys' posts and yeah they're going around sealioning anyone who likes Dimitri being all like "how can you say Dimitri/AM is your favorite when you didn't play all the routes". Buddy it's called having preferences, subjectivity and opinion. I'm sure if we twist their behavior around back at them, they'll be like stop bothering us for liking Edel cause double standards is their bread and butter.
Yeah, I had taken a brief scroll through their blog the first time I saw them argue with Random about Claude because I had a pretty strong feeling that they were just another stan running around around against Rhea and Dimitri fans because I knew that person didn't follow Random when they started pulling the bad faith Claude takes.
I scrolled through a few posts before I was like yeah I'm not even gonna bother looking further because I could see all they were doing was arguing with people whose names I recognized, and the only people who ever do that are the stans. They also have absolutely nothing else but discourse on their blog.
It's crazy to me too, because I've seen those same Dimitri fans try to talk about anything else FE related and yet they still get pulled back into discourse. Like, I'm at the point where I believe everyone in that immediate group is just actively being stalked by the stans (and I recall one of them mentioning they are being stalked by them, but my guess is if one of them is, all of them are).
Also, the stans tend to pull the "you didn't play xyz route" when I'm quite certain most if not all of the Dimitri fans on Tumblr have at the very bare minimum watched the full route on YouTube of anything they didn't play. All these people have the information they need to know where they stand opinion-wise, and like you said, it's just... having an opinion. The stans have their opinions, we don't agree with them, and we don't engage with them unless they engage with us first.
Something I've noticed about the group of Dimitri fans that gets stans going after them is that it's always the stans who start it. They always respond to asks sent to those people. In other words they go onto those people's blogs, look at their posts/their replies to their anons, and start arguing at them over literally anything they say in thsoe ask responses.
Every single time I see a post reach my dashboard from any of those people (you might know the Faerghus/Dimitri group I'm talking about), it's always a stan going after them when they were just answering one of their own anons and posting something on their own blog. I'm sure there are people who think they engage in discourse too much, but they don't even start it. They get harassed and can't just blog in peace.
Unfortunately those same stans have been targeting Random as of late (and I've noticed it's more and more different ones so they're probably going after someone as soon as they notice their buddies are doing so) so it's not that surprising that they've taken notice of me since she and I interact regularly. They basically go through the chain of who interacts with who and try to start shit.
Oh nonnie honey, you better believe if even a single Dimitri fan did to them what they do to us, they'd be all over that and whining about it and posting callouts and shit.
I just want to be able to post whatever my feelings are about Dimitri without worrying that people will try to tear it down because "it's not about Edel-chan and it portrays Dimitri in a good light".
I've blocked every Edelstan I've come across but more of them keep popping up, so... I guess the blocking never ends. My block list is basically just Edelstans and bots at this point with few exceptions.
Funny how the stans don't block Dimitri fans who hate Edelgard to avoid seeing them (it's because they don't actually want to, because they want to argue), even though we're all over here trying to block them, but some of them block evade to keep going. Literally like Dimitri fans have tried to block them and move on, but they persistently find ways to keep harassing. And like I said, they go down the line, so eventually they'll just find every active Dimitri lover who posts about him and whine at them.
#DCB Ask#it's fucking wild to me how many times the same people have tried to block and move on and avoid these people#and how many times they've tried to talk about anything else or whatever they want in their own space#but the stans keep coming back and bothering them#there are even people whose favorite isn't Dimitri but they've ended up hating Edelgard because of the stans#and are wary of discourse bc of them. and like... their favorites aren't part of the general discourse much if at all#but they still hate Edelgard bc they just don't like HER but her stans made them despise the sight of her#it's tiring stressful and pathetic tbh. maybe I'll just like. write an analysis about a character I love#from another game so I can write about something fun and that I love and try to help#convince people in a happy positive way that he's GooD. bc like if you want someone to like your faves#the best way to change their mind is to have fun and talk in detail without discourse about them#if you're talking about them in a good way and explaining the depths of the character#and people can tell you're passionate about the character then they're way more likely to walk in open minded#than if you come at them insulting them and bitching at them for who they DO like or for not liking your fave#when ppl get interested in Dimitri and want to hear from me why I like him and stuff#I tell them all the great things about him that I love and gush about him. I don't start going#AND EDELGARD -INSERT EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT HER- AND THAT'S WHY I LOVE DIMITRI#and I don't include why I hate Edelgard when ppl ask why I love Dimitri. I tell them why I love Dimitri and am happy to talk abt it#I LOVE getting ppl to enjoy my faves and sometimes it works! and that's bc they enjoy the vibe they get#when I'm talking abt my faves. they like seeing the passion and interest and positivity#I do this with my faves in another franchise all the time with an entire group of side characters who are sides but#also very plot important and it always makes people see them in a different light and appreciate them more
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got this weird thing always where im always wondering if im a gay man or a bi dude-kinda or a bi girl-a-little-bit or a gay man-also-woman-a-bit, and its like. whenever im like "OKAYY I DONT CAREEEEE MAYBE I DO LIKE GIRLS" .... IMMEDIATELY my thoughts about liking women are gone like. when im trying to appease that. and then im like "hmm maybe i DONT like girls??" the thoughts about liking girls comes back
#and GENUINELY... COSMICALLY... if i really want to date a woman i would love to just allow this for myself. and am trying to#and whenever i try to its like ''yeah nevermind man it wasnt even anything''#so when i do go ''oh okay i guess it was nothing'' the desire to like women comes back#and maybe its a case of ''putting it off the table makes me want it more'' .. but its like.. when i say ''ok im bi'' its gone.#its like hey. come back. what happened i said i liked it. gone. until i accept that its gone. and then its back. chameleon type shit#permanently grass-is-greener type of living... please..#ALSO.... this happens with ''being a little bit of a girl'' because then im like ''ok cool man im a girl now. yup''#but when i put this into action i HATE IT and VEHEMENTLY need to go back immediately#and then when i go back im like ''but what if i WASNT just a guy..... hmmm...''#and its like that bit from courage the cowardly dog where baby muriel wants her mac and cheese 500 different ways#and is never happy when you give it to her#when i MOST think about ''being a girl who is bi'' is when i feel THE MOST like a gay man#& when i think about and put into practice ''being a gay man'' i CANNOT enjoy it due to the ''what ifs''#its like i have to do a schrodinger's sexuality on myself#genuinely really dont mind what my sexuality and gender is as long as im happy and YET.... its like chasing my own tail with myself#its funny because what i do know is that i love masculine terms i love being he/him'd i love being called a man i love my body on t#but... ''what to call this other than blanketly 'transmasc'.. if anything'' and ''who do i wanna fuck about it'' are like going in circles#and NOT to say people need anything more specific than just being transmasc or just saying ''im gay'' or being blanketly queer or anything#and maybe i need to take a page from that if its giving me grief. but ... *gestures vaguely*
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