#because fr fuck amazon
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There are on Audible a series (series is not exactly the correct term but whatevs) called The Great Courses and they are basically recordings of university course lectures by various different academics. Different series of lectures dealing with different topics are all available for 1 credit or €x.99 per 'course'/book. You know how audible works.
(Putting aside whether you should use audible at all if you can find these same recordings elsewhere, because audible is amazon and we all know what amazon is), I want talk about the ones narrated by Prof. Elizabeth Vandiver. The Iliad, The Odyssey, The Aeneid of Virgil and Classical Mythology.
These courses are discussions of Greek & Roman mythology (there being a lot in common or similar but with a twist, given the Roman habit of borrowing ideas from the Greeks (and lets face it, everyone else) and squashing/stretching them into a shape that suits Roman culture and ideals.
So, the first three are twelve thirty-minute lectures each, with each lecture being a discussion on an aspect(s) of the ancient poem with emphasis on how it would have been received by it's ancient greek/roman audience and explanations on why modern reactions are informed by our culture and can be wrong-headed, because we are judging certain scenes while partially or completely lacking the context that would have been almost innate to an ancient greek/roman listener.
For example, I was vaguely aware of the major beats of the iliad from cultural osmosis i.e. Achilles argues with Agamemnon, throws a strop over his concubine being taken away, refuses to fight which results in things going badly for the Greeks. Odysseus, Ajax and some other guy try to talk him into fighting again, but they can't. Things continue to go badly for the Greeks, Patroklus manages to convince Achilles to lend him Achilles' armour after which things briefly go well for the Greeks before Hector enters the field and things go extremely badly for Patroklus. Achilles subsequently goes absolutely berserk with grief and things go horribly for Hector in particular. Achilles indulges in horrible desecration of human remains until Hector's father Priam begs for the return of his son's corpse. Achilles relents. Hector gets a funeral. End of poem.
I did not truly comprehend until listening to the lectures on the iliad, why Achilles is not just 'throwing a strop'. He's not just being a sulking jerk. The explanation Prof. Vandiver gives of the ancient concept of Kleos illustrated that Agamemnon has actually not only grievously insulted Achilles, he has called into question much of the motivation for fighting in the first place.
Anyway, to move on and tldr this a bit, the same thing occurred repeatedly as I listened to the lectures on the Odyssey and the Aeneid. I learned so much I didn't previously know about ancient greek and roman cultures and their particularly important cultural concepts which cast the events in the poems/stories in much more tragic light and the actions of the characters were much more relatable given the added understanding I gained from learning the greater context. It also added humour because once you have correct context it turns out that Homer and Virgil like a joke as much as anyone else.
I am currently listening to the 'Classical Mythology' set of lectures which deals with a selection of different stories/myths rather than one long epic poem in particular like the first three.
To tldr this again: If you were even vaguely interested in Greek and Roman mythology as a kid, these lectures are fascinating. Having listened to the first three I am now trying to find translations of the actual poems to read/listen to myself.
#bc listens to stuff#classical mythology#if you can find them anywhere besides audible do#because fr fuck amazon#the human desire to learn
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im so excited for invincible s2b now that it has an official release date… and that release date is march 14th
Let me talk about why that has me worried for the future of the show
‼️also no hate to any other shows mentioned‼️
I want to start with these two images :
invincible compared to the boys and now hazbin hotel has BARELY gotten any offical advertising on this level. The boys also got ads in times square for the promotion of s3 and the spin-off gen v im pretty sure but I could be wrong.
Don’t get me wrong I am rly happy to see an animated show get promotion at that level and I think more streaming services should do the same but why is it that invincible, a show on its SECOND SEASON gets nothing? The official invincible accounts have to do most of the heavy lifting themselves with generating hype on their twt,insta and tiktok. People complain that the accounts often make “an announcement for the announcement” but they have too! They literally have no other option! It sucks to see invincible show signs of a show thats clearly being tampered with by executive fuckery that has led so many other animated shows to an early grave.
Also I NEED people to realize that invincible’s release schedule NOT THE FAULT OF THE CREW
I see people regularly being rude and borderline aggressive to crew members online (which ive seen happen in other fandoms too) but the amount of people that were bitching and whining about the hiatus saying things like “this is why we shouldn’t let animators have good working conditions” and people agreeing with those takes were INSANE. The crew have no control over when the show drops or not, that is a decision left up to executives.
Now why could this delay be happening ?
a little bit ago amazon made this announcement to its customers:
this very well lines up with what many people began to speculate online as to why invincible had such a weird release schedule for season 2. They release the first half and get people hooked on the first 4 episodes ending on a massive cliffhanger and then release the second half after ads are introduced in hopes of making more money bc ppl don’t want ads in the middle of their shows.
Even then many people (myself included) think that it would’ve ultimately been better for the sake of the shows own hype to just wait to release them in March back to back all 8 episodes. Because the midseason break just kneecapped the hype the show had built up so hard and now many people are reasonably frustrated.
Because there was no clarity on when the show would be back. Most people assumed it would be a month long break for the holidays which shows have done for a long time. And then fake leaks came out that the show would come back in early January, and then the invincible accounts were virtually silent, and people were saying the break was intentional for fans to (recover) for ep 4. It was all over the place
What should fans do going forward?
Best thing you can do is stream the show legally if you can! TALK about invincible, don’t let the hype die out. Get this shit on trending ! Boost any official posts online showing that there is still a demand for this show! If you can, buy merch! Read the comics legally ! LET AMAZON KNOW WE STILL CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW!
again no hate to the other shows here bc ive watched all of them! I just want invincible to get some of that love too because this show is so amazing and you can tell how much love the crew has put into it <3
#i would honestly be so fucking heartbroken if invincible got canceled because its genuinely one of my favorite pieces of media ever#shoutout to the invincible crew for putting so much love into this show it fr shows#it deserves so much more promotion and attention#invincible#the boys#hazbin hotel#gen v#animation#invincible show#amazon prime#long post
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Armand and Daniel having their casual sex banter and one second away from hate fucking (AGAIN!) meanwhile Louis is there but not actually there going for his 1000th existential crisis, trying to remember his past like imagine working in that apartment for them my god I know the gossip between the employees is so good
#i haven't been able to watch the new episode (fucking amazon) but from what i understood is that#daniel constantly bullying louis and armand but mostly armand but thats okay because they are into that#and louis is there but not actually there#but fr imagine being a younger vampire this couple hires you to stay st their house just doing maid stuff and you look upon this situation#i could gladly go to work every day with the biggest smile on my face#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv
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I keep having to spend money
#desperately need a new batter for my stylus (weird size)#out of lotion (I have eczema and it’s dry as fuck this winter)#and the pens I use to write everything stopped working#you will never guess how much it cost me to buy those things. because it was $65#the only place I could find my lotion is Amazon and it was a two pack#and I can’t find my batteries or pens in stores right now and I’ve been looking for three weeks#plus I had to buy toothpaste and soap and deodorant today#it’s too much 😭#I need to stop needing things to live fr
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ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ʟɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴀɢᴀᴍɪ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
Yan light who met you in highschool, the last year
Yan light who becomes your study partner, helping u and ur dumb lil brain
Yan light who starts realizing how cute you were, but never had a crush on u (he did he just never wanted to admit it)
Yan light who now has a crush on you after him trying to convince himself that you're not his type,
Yan light who now helps you with more than studying, whenever you don't have a pencil, he'll give it to you eagerly, whenever you want something from Amazon but your too broke, he'll buy it for you, whenever your too lazy to work on assignments, you call him and he'll let you copy
Yan light who is now your friend rather than study buddie
Yan light who sits with you during lunch, not bothering to hang out with his other popular friends, telling you that he prefers you
Yan light who stares at you during class, thinking of all the things you could do to him before shaking his head, and covering his blushing face
Yan light who convinces his sister that you're his gf, and that's why you keep coming over to his house.
Yan light who now is by your side 24/7, walking you to classes, holding your backpack for you as you ramble about the girl u don't fw, walking you home, and more
Yan light whose house you go to for a study session, but you knew it was just gonna turn out to you rambling about drama as he watched you with heart eyes, hand on your thigh
Yan light who convinces you to stay over, saying "N/n, it's too dark out, just stay here yeah?"
Yan light who you ask "Light, where am I gonna sleep?"
Yan light who smiles, and says "In my bed, where else, sweetheart?" As if it was the most obvious thing in the world
Yan light who cuddles you throughout the night, arms around your waist as he whines when you try to pull away from him
Yan light who now tells you to go to the college he's going to, giving you puppy dog eyes as you refuse
"Sweetheart, come into the college I'm going to, you don't wanna be separated do you?"
"Honey, what do you mean your too dumb? Just copy off me, my love."
Yan light who makes you go to his college, smiling at you when you finally tell him "Fine, I'll go to your college."
Yan light who now barely lets you go to your own house, "Am I not good enough for you, love?" He asks with tears in his eyes like bro I just asked u if I could go home
Yan light who cooks and cleans for you, "Honey, do you want me to make you some pasta for tonight?" He saids all giggly, his sister just gags in disgust bc why is her rat brother acting like a middle school girl in love
Yan light who is literally 3 seconds away from smashing the TV in his room because your busy playing GTA rather than him, he's literally half naked, wanting you to touch him and your playing GTA tryna run from the cops?! How dare you, just watch, he'll get rid of that fucking ga-
"hey wife, can ya bring me my water?" You ask, you gave him a glance making him perk up, knowing that if u called him wife, he'll do anything for u
"Okay! ♡" What was he thinking about again?
Yan light who finally got the death note, and told you "If you fucking even look at someone else other than me, I'll kill them."
"wife, you barely even let me see my own family"
Yan light who Misa finally meets up with
"Light! I'm your classmate, and you dropped this book!" Misa said, showing the book as light makes her follow her to his room. You were inside the room, playing rock paper scissors with ryuk the homie
Oh yeah that lil bitch light showed you the death note and practically said he'll rip anyone's skull if they even bother to look in your direction, genuinely u weren't even shocked bc ur wife was just like that fr fr but anyway now ur homies with ryuk
They both walked into the room, and Misa was quick to glare at you. 'Light is my love, and I am his so why is this homewrecker all up in his bed like that!' was her train of thought, ready to launch at you before seeing Lights dark glare on here
"Don't even fucking think about it, now why are you here?"
They talked and Misa told him if he dated anyone but her, she'll kill them.
"thats...too bad, I'm already y/ns wife"
Yan light who is your wife that kills anyone who gets between you both <333
GUYS LOWKEY IMMA MAKE A YAN DEATH NOTE AND YAN JOJO BIZAREE ADVENTURE STORY ON MY WATTPAD LOLOLO
YAN TOWN, YAN MC DONALDS WORKER, YAN CELEBRITY, AND MORE COMING OUT SOONOJFBYUSDYUHjn
HOPE YALL LIKED THIS ONE I LITERALLY WAS HALF ASLEEP
#yandere x darling#yandere x reader#yanderemalexreader#yandere boyfriend#yandere male#soft yandere#yandere#tw yandere#clingy yandere#malexreader#yandere light yagami#light yagami x reader#light yagami#death note#destinys worksss<333
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birthday gyal
dom!matt x fwb!reader
warnings: unprotected sex, swearing, choking, love confession
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the only thing worse than having your 21st birthday during the spring semester, was having your 21st birthday be on a wednesday during the spring semester.
as of may 8th 2024, y/n was officially of legal drinking age and she couldn't even go get shit-faced because she had a lecture the next morning. so instead of partying with her besties, she was at home in her robe, reading 'the mastery of love', while drinking her first legal acholic beverage, twisted tea.
obviously it wasn't what she wanted to be doing, but she knew that waiting until friday to go out was her best option because she knew she would need 2 days to recover from all the debauchery she intended to partake in.
so there she was, sulking, reading, sipping. whichever one you prefer honestly.
that didn't last long though.
matt <3
happy birthday sweetheart
thanks matt
come get your gifts
HOL AWWNNN YOU GOT ME A GIFT FR??
what kind of friend would i be if i didnt get you a birthday gift?
IM FINNA GET THAT GDAY DICKKKKK
youre insane.
and this is why y/n loved matt. he gave her girlfriend treatment without forcing her to be his girlfriend.
they were basically dating. they took each other out, they only fucked each each other, the slept at the others house often.
but the title. the title of girlfriend and boyfriend is what fucked them up. it came with so much pressure. and these two fools hated pressure as much as republicans hate the BLM movement. so they did things the way they wanted.
according to y/n and matt, they were friends. who fucked on a consistent basis.
it's not weird unless you make it weird.
slipping on her black bralette, sweats, shoes and jewelry y/n made her way out of her apartment and into her car. on her way to the triplets house, she wondered what matt had in store for her.
she got her answer as soon as she opened the door to his house.
in no way, shape, or form was matt a grand gestures type of guy. but when he did do something extensive, he believed the glory was in the little things so he made it a point to remember y/n current song obsessions, forming a playlist that played lightly through the house. there was purple rose petals sprinkled in a trail from the front door to matts bedroom door.
when she opened said door, her eyes fluttered shut at the sight before her. matt stood with in front of his bed with a bottle of tequila blanco. (AND THAT DAMN DON JULIO MAKE ME A FOOL FOR YEEEWWW) behind him, on his bed was an assortment of gift bags and amazon packages.
"happy birthday y/n." matt said, walking up to her and wrapping her in a comforting hug.
y/n shed a few thug tears as she hugged him back and planted a fat smooch on his lips. "thank you so much MWAH" she planted another kiss on his lips and began to open her gifts.
jewelry with her sun, moon and rising signs. a melanie tee and a lana poster for her room
by the time y/n was done opening her gifts, she was just one giant smile. all her toofs were on display and she wasn't even embarrassed because she was utterly happy.
she pounced on matt and gave him a hug with all the strength her body could muster. she kissed all over his face and thanked him like he'd just bought her dream car rather than a few birthday gifts.
"okay okay okay! i love you too but i need air to breathe!" he said in attempt to get her to calm down.
y/n reluctantly released the boy and hopped off the bed to grab the bottle and pour the two of them a shot. they toasted to her birthday and downed the shot.
sitting back down, y/n leaned her head on the headboard and placed her feet on matts lap because he was across from her on the mattress.
"do i get a birthday lap dance now?" y/n asked, cackling at the look on matts face.
after letting out a few dry laughs, matt answered her question. "no, but i do have one more gift for you." he pulled her closer to him by her ankles, causing her head to hit the pillows.
y/n's pant magically disappear along with her panties.
matt moves one to beside her head and leans down to trap her mouth with his. as she leans forward, the tip of his cock pushes against he entrance.
with his other hand, he circles the front of her neck. "i'll never hurt you, y/n." he kisses her cheek. "but i'll choke you a little. if that's what you want."
y/n's eyes widen and her lips part. matt feels her not before she does. and then he squeezes, knowing exactly where to press. y/n's eyes flutter shut.
her body shifts under him. her hips try to lift to take him inside him. but he doesn't let her. he just squeezes a little harder. her eyes open and her hands reach up to grab at his arm, not to push him away but to cling to him.
she looks up at him with those beautiful eyes and her body twitches. once.
matts leaking all over her slit. so fucking ready to bust. but he needs her with him. he needs her to feel as feral as he does.
but when her fingers dig into his arm and she twitches a second time, he releases his hold on her neck and slams his entire length inside her.
y/n's orgasm is instant. an implosion. her arms wrap around matt, clutching him.
and he's lost. he's surrounded by her heat, and he's fucking lost in it. he ruts her into the mattress, slamming his hips into hers as she whines and whimpers beneath him. feeling her pussy grip to keep him inside her each time he moves. feeling her breath on his neck with each thrust forward.
to him, she's everything.
he pulls free from her body, grabbing her by her hips. he flips her into her stomach.
he doesn't give her time to catch her breath. he rips her bralette, yanks her hips up, and shoves into her from behind.
her orgasm is still trembling through her body, but it's not enough.
reaching forward, he grips the front of her neck again and pulls her until she's upright on he knees before him.
her tits bounce every time his hips slam against her ass and its the best fucking thing he's ever seen.
he tightens his hold on her neck again, a little tighter than last time. because this time, he's closer.
he's so much closer to filling her with his seed, and he needs her to milk it out of him.
he places his mouth at her ear and slides his other hand down to belly to her slick clit.
"i'n gonna cum inside you, y/n. i'm gonna cum so deep inside you it'll be dripping out of you for fucking days." he rubs his fingers in circles around her bundle of nerves. "but i need you to cum first. so grab those titties for me. show me that you love it."
y/n doesn't even hesitate. her hands fly up to her chest and her fingers pinch and pull at her nipples.
her pussy starts to clench around matt, who tries to control his movements.
in. out. in. out.
but then her eyes start to roll back and he presses harder against her clit. and she cums.
he releases her throat and the sound of her ragged inhale is the last push he needs before his balls squeeze and he's unloading inside her.
he groans her name as he fills her with his release. "i love you. so fucking much. i fucking love you."
for the final pulse of his cock, he shoves himself as deep as he can get, the thrust tipping them forward.
he rolls off her and they lie there, silent. the only sounds heard, were the sounds of their heavy breathing.
he said he loves her. he knows he did. she knows he did.
did he mean it? or was that a post nut confession that he didn't mean to say?
but y/n came to the conclusion that whether he meant it or not, she loved him. and she wasn't scared to say it.
so she reaches over to where matt was laying with his hand behind his head and grabbed his face so he was looking at her.
"i love you."
and just like that, matt's world stopped.
he grabbed her hand and held it in his. "be my girlfriend." he spoke out. "i wanna tell everyone that breathes in my direction that y/n y/l/n is my girlfriend. i want everyone to know i'm yours. because i am. yours. so be mine."
she let out a laugh and leaned over, kissing his jaw. "matt. i was yours the first time we kissed."
niyah speaks this is for lilly bae.
remember that if no one loves you, mommy loves you (and by mommy i mean me)
taglist: @mattslolita @muwapsturniolo @mattssluttygf @zniyadgaf
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#sturniolos#Spotify
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Mama’s boy!
Series/tv: series! 1/?
Characters and paring(s): Homelander x fem!supe!Caretaker!
Word(s):1.0k!!
A/n: yall it’s finally here, please don’t shun me. I forgot I had this fucking series fr— like I am so series. And then I saw that the NEW SEASON OF THR BOYS IS COMING THE 13th!!!!! HELL YEAHHHHH!! this series will follow the original series. FIND THE IDEA HERE!
(C): I DO NOT OWN ‘THE BOYS’ AMAZON ORIGINAL SERIES/TV!!
———
———
“So.. I’d- what? Be a mother to this little sonuvabitch?” I mocked, leaning back in my chair a little. My coffee cup rested between my cold fingertips on this cold autumn day. The steam filling my nostrils, comforting but didnt make up for the fucked situation i was put in.
We had decided on a meeting in a public place per my request and somehow it had gotten approved. This was surprising yet relieving if you knew anything about Vought International.
“Yes, you’d be a caretaker technically; And whatever else that comes with the job but I suppose a ‘mother’ as you put it, would be a more professional and accurate term in this situation.” He replied. “We just want to ensure our prodigies' safety and having him grow in a lab isn't the most beneficial considering he’s already ripped four or more of his female caregivers in half.” Sipping his coffee nonchalantly.
Stan Edgar.
Always a pain in the ass and who also just happened to be the CEO of said, ‘Vought international’.
Though I always knew him as just Stan and dare I even say he was an old friend of mine from Vought’s ‘Payback’ days when I worked as the second in command to Grace Mallory as we had to partake in being the case managers for the CIA.
Babysitting drugged up supes was never in the job description but as grace always told me; one joy of being a part of the CIA was learning on the job and learning we did.
That is where I first met Stan and if it wasn't for him I would have torn the head of the one and only ‘Soldier boy’ for eyeing my up and down as if I was a piece of cake for him to cut a piece of.
I coughed on some of the coffee I held in my mouth with wide eyes. I swallowed and wiped my mouth, “Pardon? Ripped? In half?” Stan nodded, his face even with even a hint of amusement.
“Are you fucking crazy? And i'm supposed to babysit this little shi-��
Stand cut me off, sensing my panic as he reached his hand on and stopped my bickering as if I was overreacting completely. “Oh please, fret not my friend. We have a plan for that.”
I cocked my eyebrow, “What kind of.. Plan?” I asked.
“I'm so glad you asked,” he smiled, taking a sip of his mocha. “Of course, there will be extra cautionary procedures considering we want you to be long term. And a whole new contract to bridge off our original but sadly, it is required if you’d like to live long enough to receive your check.”
I stayed quiet and listened intently, my fingers suddenly no linger felt frozen.
I felt warm, sick almost as a million feelings and thoughts stirred within me with all the possible circumstances.
“We plan to put you through a series of tests, experiment without the experiment part because we know what we're going yet it will still be the first.” His eyes felt cold on me, like he was brewing up something despicable.
“You’re going to be one strong supernanny– isn't that exciting?” And now I know why.
My body drew back subconsciously even. I stared at him through wilted eyelashes at his proposal. I sat my coffee down, the condensation made my palms sweaty in the autumn chill. Looking anywhere and everywhere but him.
Stan sensed my hesitance, eyes going down to my coffee and then to the show of my wiping my palms on my pants. Nervousness creeping up into my mind, he spoke.
“You don't have to do this,” he began, this time his hands reached out and enclosed mine in his warm ones. His brown eyes searching in mine, “But listen to me as i say this..” my face looked up and found his again at his sudden tone of.. Warmness?
“I would never put you in a situation where I could predict long term harm to you.” i didn't say anything at first once his words set in, i laughed at that, finding my voice finally. “Ah, but short term harm you can predict.” I noted and went to pull my hands away but his grip tightened.
“Well I never said it was going to feel like laying on a bearskin rug, Compound V will tear you apart limb from limb and then rebuild your blood cells all over again. You will become indestructible in every way possible. You will be made. To. be. Able. to. Do. this. Job, i will promise you that above everything”
“Ah, so like Bella from Twilight when she first became a vampire.” I laughed. Stan looked at me with a puzzled expression, “Pardon?”
“Nothing old timer. I wouldn't expect you to know anything of the sort.” I gave his knee a gentle slap. To my relife he dropped it and gave me a nervous laugh, “But, anyways.” He stood and pulled out his wallet to pay for our meals.
“You have by the end of the week, Just call the front desk and let them know your decision. They’ll be expecting to hear from you.” and before i could respond,
He was gone like that.
The carpark returned his vehicle and opened the door for him, Stan was gone as quick as he appeared.
I turned back to my coffee and stared into the milky abyss watching as the cream met the coffee in a caffeinated tango.
I wish coffee was on my mind at the moment. To have something so simple to think about would have been a relief in this moment but I wasn't so fortunate.
I stood up.
And all over again, the cool autumn air made me feel colder than ever.
——
A/n: WHAT ARE WE FEELING!? ooooOOooo what if Billy BUTCHER WAS INCLUDED—
#funny story#funny content#yandere#x reader#funny shit#yandere homelander#homelander imagines#homelander x reader#homelander#the boys#the boy imagines#the boys imagine#the boys x reader#vought
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Mercury in da HoUSe (s) mercury and why you think your smart - you only think your smart, you don't even know if you are because you can't think any other way. I dont care if people tell you your smart, they don't even know if they are smart because they have the same dilemma as you....... but if you think your dumb your probs right.... okay enough chit chat we gotta do some astrollogy >> Mercury in the first - These guys talk the talk, hella good at talking, talk too much, but at least they know how to talk. but it gives everyone in the rooom a headache. also there voices go a million directions... they like to put on voices. actually i hate your voice. its too earpiercing its like your looking at there voice even if you look away. how are you able to make me look at yo voice, its meant to be auditory but i can fucking see it STFUUUU Mercury in the second - I like money but not as much as this guy. this guy will think of every scam, every business every investment possible just to prove his worth (typically with money) as kids they are hustlers with money, everyone knows they gonna make coin, but typically as they get older, money don't mean shit to them and they start investing into something substantial and if they dont grow outta this mindset, they become shells of themselves like bill gates or the amazon guy. mercury in the third - okay these guys are actually smart, but its almost hard to tell. because there intelljgence isn't attached to anything beside intelligence itself. so its hard to notice, but they are very smart people. quick learners but i notice not quick thinkers, or at least they don't voice it much. which i guess makes them smart because they ploying liek dat mercury in the fourth - subtle intelligence, almost manipulative intelligence, they are the types to make you make a point jsut so they can point out the flaws in your point rather than make a argument themselves.... then make an argument once yours has been smashed to pieces. assholes honestly... but i rate it its just smart tactics but make em talk first and they speechless lmao mercury in the fifth - funny yes your funny, yes i see what you did there, oh yes this next joke is also funny because it ties in with your last joke.. did i mention your funnY? oh im not that funny, well im sorry i can't do it like you becayse yourr liek for real funny. okay can someone else speak now, this guys voice wasn't annoying but now it is. fr comedians but every comedian over do it, and so do they mercury in the sixth - annoying intelligence, always pointing out the flaws in whatever the fuck you just said. like dude im trying my best to think, to then speak it, and to respect you as a person. and your lookjing for flaws, in my speech? oh you can't help it? well i can't help but not wanna talk to you. annoyingly nitpicky with what i say you say she say, why so serious? oh your too smart? thats what every dumbass has ever said to me stfu. mercury in the seventh - always on your back, but can you get off my back, im still working on my argument i dont need you to suck me off about it jeezes. id rather you criticize me honestly. oh now your critical of me. well why can't you just think for yourself. oh you don't know how to. you only don't know how to because you just wanna learn more and more and more and more and more. and now you dont know how to think for yourself. congrats you played yoself mercury in the eighth - so mysterious wow so profound, i never saw it that way. no you just were thinking of something cool to say this whole time and you jsut thought of it. your only quiet so you dont look like a fool. insecure bitch ass. oh but now you just wanna insult me yeah thats because i called you out. honestly these guys are just looking for a deep chat, and its only deep because they were digging for so long.
mercury in the ninth - these guys know way too much bullshit. like they read a lot and just spit random facts and its hard to talk to them without feeling patronized. like yeah we get it, you read a lot. most peole don't because we like to be a human, not live in a book. go outside its nice. oh thats where you get your information > outside, books, the world is your dictionary - god you really are annoying. oh you knew that already. fuck off man.
mercury in the tenth - shrewd; always thinking and saying the best possible thing to say for each scenario, and its typically just sayings they read in hustler books, or what they dad said once. yeah your street smart, but no one else advertises it as much as you, which means you don't understand the streets as well as you think. yep thats right re-strategise; they just wanna own the streets i swear. and no one tries as hard as them. and thats saying something mercury in the eleventh - stop protesting you mong, you really think convincing us the realities of the world, will change the world? oh itll start the butterfly effect, okay true go on, tell us how eating veggies gonna stop the meat industry. oh you were just saying this crap for bants. yep that was annoying. oh now you wanna talk about how attitudes has shaped the world, dude why you always trying to integrate everysingle philsophy of the world into one conversation. you do realise its all bullshit? but everyone likes em because they invite everyone in on the conversation... hey someone gota do it Mercury in the twelfth - these guys are the worst i swear, cant be more manipulative than these lot, they will act innocent, but come at you aggressivly, and itll just confuse ya. youll think they just dumb and naive but they klnow damn well what da hell they doing. play yo game with someone else... oh you don't like to play with them because they fall for your shit, yep so you only like people who set you straight ehhhh you should just come at me straight or ill set you straight. oh you just struggle with convos well it shows.
#astro community#mercury aspects#house placements#astrology observations#astrology notes#astrology blog#astrology#astrology houses#mercury astrology
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messages to remember over this holiday period • pick-a-card
merry christmas y’all 🎄💗
• pile one •
you might be either forced to be around people (presumably family or just close people) who have done you wrong. spirit is asking you to trust that they’ll receive their karma - because what comes around goes around fr. these mfs have karma that’s on its way like an amazon prime package, okay? it’s coming. quickly. spirit is suggesting that you try to blind yourself to their pain. especially if they’re talking mad shit to you with their snide ass remarks or nitpicking over this christmas? trust that you have nothing to fear. try to blind yourself to the pain and the fear that these people want you so badly to feel. it might be difficult but it’s in your best interest this christmas because people could really be trying you at that fucking dinner table. being nonchalant and acting oblivious to their remarks is part of their karma.
significant numbers: 26, 13, 25
astrological signs/placements: jupiter/sagittarius, saturn/capricorn, scorpio/pluto, leo/sun
patreon
website
• pile two •
this might be a specific message for someone, but there’s someone who feels trapped in a relationship/marriage that you’re going to be around this christmas. this person needs your natural energy, so try to give them some of that. a lot of care. this could even be your mother. through your conversations with this person, they’ll find something enlightening that brings them one step closer to taking back their control from someone who’s keeping them tethered to them. the seed will be planted.
for others of you, i’m seeing that spirit is saying that your family may need you right now. even if you don’t spend the entirety of the christmas period with them, make sure that you’re making time for them. don’t keep yourself just tethered to your partner around this time. this partner may be somewhat controlling. don’t allow them to isolate you from people within your family. i’m seeing specifically for some of you that this is a younger sibling or multiple siblings around you that would like to see you.
over this holiday, you’re going to be releasing yourself from some type of control that someone or something has over you.
significant numbers: 44, 21, 27
astrological signs/placements: pluto in 12th house, taurus in a water house/water planets in taurus, libra/7th house placements (perhaps pluto in 7th or scorpio in 7th house) - check your astrological transits for your birth chart. that could give you extra messages.
patreon
website
• pile three •
there may be some clear signs about someone or some people around you that you’ve been picking up on for a while now. this christmas period is bringing you a lot of confirmation on what you’ve been noticing about them in the past. perhaps particularly about someone who has a very cold and unsympathetic energy. perhaps someone who’s constantly angry too. watch out for this person picking arguments as a way to try to ruin people’s holiday with their bs.
there’s also a message to not feel guilty or bad about feeling however tf you feel about these people. or about the holidays in general. whether this is wanting to be left alone or holding someone accountable for something. it could be anything tbh.
there may be a transmutation of your anger throughout this holiday period. i’m not sure into what exactly but whatever it is, it’s going to be used to direct yourself onto the right path within something. there may be triggers coming up but you can turn these things into motivation.
significant numbers: 4, 22, 34
astrological signs/placements: heavy scorpio placements, aries/mars, pisces/12th house placements, pluto in 12th house
patreon
website
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Heh.. I was wondering if.. and you don't know me.. *I say, tucking my long black hair behind my ear* but... If you could.. could you make nina and clockwork headcanons that'd be greatly appreciated..heh..
A/n: HELP TGIS ASK IS SO OLD BUT I'M TRYING TO CLEAN OUT MY INBOX UNTIL I START DOING THE NEW STUFF😭😭😭 I KNOW ITS YOU REESE SMH
Nina + Clockwork Headcanons *ೃ༄
CLOCKWORK*ೃ༄
Her bangs and hair in general are very uneven and choppy. She randomly will cut her hair when she gets in episodes ( projecting tbh 💀)
Shes kinda tall, at least 5,8
Shes a little muscular in the arms
Shes unsure what what her sexuality is but she knows she likes girls
HAS A CRUSH ON NINA❗❗❗
Shes fr kicking her feet and giggling when she sees nina
And its a complete drastic turn from her usual cold persona
I have a feeling her personality is like Lisa Rowe from girl interrupted
Her and Toby did date at some point, around when he first became a proxy. They broke up because they realized they only saw eachother as friends, and it just wasn't working out. Idk they're friendly exes but not friends. If you place them in a room with each other, its gonna get awkward quick.
She has some acne on her shoulders, chest, and her chin
Shes has alot of band aids on her from just cuts and bruises from random missions
She wears flannels, tank tops, dirty worn converse, combat boots, worn and ripped jeans, and occasionally a band tee or something.
Has a couple pericings, one on the right side of her nose, and a septum. She got Nina to do it for her with some shitty amazon piercing kits. It's most likely infected.💀
NINA THE KILLER *ೃ༄
LITERALLY THE SCENE QUEEN OF THE CREEPYPASTAS❗❗
Shes average height, 5,4
Shes very upbeat and honestly exhausting to be around.
She has a loud natural voice and most of the creeps think shes annoying for it.
She's bisexual
She says she doesn't have a crush, but the way she looks at Clockwork says otherwise...🤭
Shes friends with Jane, Clockwork, Toby, and Dina, but she acts friendly with everyone
She has struggled with intense depression for most of her life. Her obsession with Jeff gave her a purpose in her eyes.
Shes not really obsessed with Jeff anymore. Around 17-21 she grew out of it. When she met Jeff for the first time, she acted like a crazy fangirl. Jeff eventually became her friend, and he pretty much used her because she'd do anything for him. He would practically treat her like a servant or something, for example: making her go to the local gas station to get him something. After her weird Jeff obsession, she stopped talking to his ass and finally is getting a little better.
Everytime one of the creeps has a party at their "house" (literally a abandoned warehouse or a abandoned house) shes always the one picking the music, and trying to convince people to come.
She will NEVER forget your birthday, she has everyones birthday wrote down somewhere. She will try to subtlety(not at all😓..) get you to tell her about things you like so she knows what to get you early on.
Shes a stereotypical hello kitty girl like she has blankets, to a fucking toaster with that mf on it😭
She also has a piercing. She has snakebites, dimples, and a nose bridge one. once again, its probably infected💀
#creepypasta#creepy pasta#crp#creepypasta hcs#creepypasta headcanons#clockwork x nina the killer#clockwork#nina the killer x clockwork#nina the killer#nina hopkins#natalie ouellette#jeff the killer#ticci toby#slender man#creepypasta x you#creepypasta x reader#jane the killer
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I’m gonna say it. I like Alejandro but DESPISE Heather. BUT!!! I have my reasons.
First off, Alejandro was the REAL mastermind of TDWT because in both seasons Heather was in she relied exclusively on alliances and then drop them when they weren’t needed anymore. The only way she was even able to survive TDWT was because of the amount of poorly disguised plot armor team Amazon had, countless fake-out eliminations just to boot half of the team in like four episodes and 2/3 of the finalists were from, you guessed it! Team Amazon. Meanwhile, Team Victory lost over half of their team in the span of 4 episodes and Team CIRRH (Chris Is Really Really Hot) got robbed of some characters who DESERVED their spot in the finals over Cody and Heather by a MILE.
Second, HEATHER IS LITERALLY RACIST??????? It wasn’t a “queen moment” it was straight up racism and I hate people using it as edit intros. Not much to say here.
Third, Heather literally mistreated everyone she ever interacted with on the show and then tried to play the victim in Action when literally nobody wanted to deal with her bullshit she got labeled as one who “didn’t deserve all of that 🥺” Bitch WHAT????? DIDNT DESERVE GETTING IGNORED BY PEOPLE WHO WERE TREATED LIKE SHIT BY HER???? Be so fr.
Sure, Alejandro manipulated people but Heather straight up RUINED a relationship (Gwen and Trent), you could argue that Alejandro also ruined Geoff and Bridgette’s relationship too, or Lindsay and Tyler’s relationship, but both were fixed almost IMMEDIATELY, Gwen and Trent had their relationship fall to bits, and that also dragged Duncan and Courtney’s relationship along, causing the MOST unnecessary drama within the fandom, and then people ship Heather and Courtney because “She was the only one there for Courtney when she needed it!!! 🥺” Bitch she was the ROOT CAUSE of the breakup be fucking for real.
Anyway that’s enough yapping nobody is probably gonna read all of this
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Songs that make me the most emotional
-Kaleidoscope by Chappell Roan, hands down the best song to cry to rn
-Never Love An Anchor by the Crane Wives oh my god…me fr…
-She Used to Be Mine from Waitress <333 relatable as fuck actually
-What’s Wrong With Me from Mean Girls the musical, another great one to sob to
-Black Friday (guess where that’s from!) cause….me again
-Just For Once from NPMD, Ruth my love, I get it I truly do
-Memory from CATS because I made people cry by singing it and now it makes me cry
-It’s Not A Game/It’s Just A Ride from Ride the Cyclone <333
-Lifeboat from Heathers and I don’t even LIKE Heathers
-Jemilla’s Lament from Firebringer because yeah, I get it. Relateableeeeee <3
-Santa Fe from Newsies because well. It’s similar to Black Friday, about feeling trapped. If Letter From The Refuge were on Amazon Music, I would have it on the playlist too
-fucking. What Was I Made For from Barbie. Kill me now 😭
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Baby im back 😘 did u miss me! i want to vicariously live my supermodel dreams through a tall reader so lesgooooo
Geto: i could see geto being a short girl fucker So when he seems big amazon reader with her long ass legs hes like 🤔 theres a first time for everything!! Maybe she a lil shy so he gets her in the bedroom And the FREAK come out, im talking she spitting in his mouth and throwing it back on him, twerkin her shii like crazy- he's a changed man!! Can u see the vision, him leaned back manspreading while reader sucks the soul outta his dick, his hair mad ratty and sweaty and he flushed af. For some reason he give me heavy model!reader vibes idk i js feel like he'd wanna pretty lil thing like her on his arm
Gojo: office au, ok tbh i feel like gojo sees a woman in heels who is taller than him and he dont know how to act 💀 can def see him teasing her and making fun of her because he tryin to hide his crush and this mf accidentally say the wrong thing and piss her off like no she a grown ass woman she aint takin that shit. He's so loser and pathetic plsss i can just imagine him scrambling to make it up to her and then body worship sex after 😍 maybe even in the office ….
Choso: well if he aint find his mommy 🙄 fr can see him stopping his tall gf just to pull down her tank top so he can suck her tits when she just doing chores or some shit (SAME I WANT)
Nanami. ALRRR HEAR ME OUT, He's such a charming gentleman, maybe theyre chatting at the bar and got a good thing going but oop they stand to leave and reader is taller than and it awakens pervert!nanami. He tryin to be a gentleman bc u know, he respects her but he cant help himself. Maybe they go to dinner and shes all dressed up so he tryin to hold back but plot twist, she match his freak and gives him head under the table so he take her to the bathroom and he fuck her so hard after that 🤩
Sukuna, okkkkk for bitch boy kuna Hmmm im thinking, now hear me out, a modern au like in college and everyone knows kuna as the cold tough guy and he fuckin loyal like a dog so like everyone knows he got a gf but they never seen her. Cue one night he brings her along and she's a knockout like deadass model type shit and oh boy here comes loverboy!kuna like its day and night the way he treats her v everyone else like he's huggin and kissin her up and in their own lil world.
Toji: he see a tall girl and immediately check the booty out 😤 i feel it in my soul. Probably got her doing standing 69 where he holdin her upside down bc she tall so she the perfect height to suck him off while he eat her out. Manhandling vibessss man tryin to be the best fuck of her life 🤪
-🤭 anon
TALL READERS GET UR FOOD OMG
i’m gonna imagine i’m like 5’9 😽
i can def see suguru into taller women omg . he has yummy tasteeeee. FREAKY READER AGENDA >>>> wait … u just put smth in my head ???? throwing it back ???? ON SUGRUUUU?? he’d be so nasty gawwwddfd. (takes notes) sitting in his mouth is crazy 🙂↕️🙂↕️ my type. oooo he’d totally go for model readers i see it so bad. suguru manspread always does smth to me
YEPPPP satoru loves a women w long legs n heels ☝🏽☝🏽. it makes sense bc he’s tall asf also. ur so right he’d be so annoying teasing his tall s/o but when she teases back he’d get all pouty like ???? OFFICE MAKE UP SEX YUM YUM
choso 🥹🥹🥹. i feel like tall women would intimidate him a bit but he can be dom if he wants to !!!
NANAMISOELPHPDGOHKJ. pervert nanami agenda 🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️. loooooves a tall girl. loved to wrap his arms around her n everything. i bet he likes to kiss all down her thighs / legs.
SUKUNA AND TOJI R SO REAL. sukuna’s big as shit so i’d be kinda scared 🤰. toji i’m crying. honestly ya he’d stare at the ass first. i bet toji loves tall women too, esp if they’re a little curvy 😞 STANDING 69 IS INSANE ????? real he’s a freak bitch so i get it. toji would def fuck his tall gf while standing doesn’t care how tall u are. will manhandle u all day 😞😞😞😞
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Man I love how easy it is for me to boycott companies that are supporting the genocide in Gaza (other than Amazon, but.. uh, I'm very conflicted on that and I don't even know if I have to boycott them) because I never buy junk food- at least in American stores
And I hate coffee
And i cook my own food!!
I am very lucky to have the resources to do all of this ofc ofc I know but also like can you not fucking handle having a cup of coffee from Starbucks for a few weeks like damn.
Boycotting is literally not that hard
You just have to NOT buy things that's literally the easiest thing ever PLUS you save money while doing it like bro overpriced fast food and coffee literally just make your own it's so easy
Also can you not handle watching a show... You can fr just pirate it... Its so easy nowadays too like bro just look up a fucking pirate site and look up your show and 8/10 times it's there like it's so easy-
#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free palestine#boycott israel#boycott starbucks#boycott disney#boycott mcdonalds#boycott#stop israel#fuck israel#israel is a terrorist state#palestine#free gaza#stop genocide
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list of stuff i did tuesday 6PM - thursday 11:59PM, aka stuff i was not liveblogging because i was not on tumblr
last 5 episodes of MAWS S2. I had a thought that i could just take notes instead of liveblogging and i wrote down that i figured out Brainiac is a portmanteau of brain and maniac, and did not write down anything else. The timeloop is really good, short+sweet+to the point, and very unique
first 7 episodes of Vox Machina the cartoon, S3. Usually fight scenes are the most boring in live-action stuff. Here the fight scenes might be my favorite because it's beautifully animated and gives me a break from all of the plot happening at once. I think the episodes are 23 minutes/have a 30 minute structure but the writing and story really really needs 46 minutes/1 hr structure that dramas generally have. OK i just looked it up and Invincible, another adult cartoon on amazon, has 45-55 minute episodes. None of the writing or anything needs to change too much to lengthen Vox Machina, just add in a million establishing shots or something, give me time to breath between the plot points
The Truman Show. I don't think I've ever seen it all the way thru in one sitting. It's on Hoopla. Really holds up, don't have too much to say
I played Cookie Clicker and watched a handful of speedrun videos. what the fuck is that game. Anyway, the vids kept giving me more cookie clicker video recommendations, that's part of why I thought it would be safe to watch Falsettos. I was avoiding my youtube homepage becuase I didn't want to see news get recommended but youtube in general seemed safe
all of The Thief. It's very good and I did pick up more stuff that I would have missed if I hadn't read RotT beforehand. I finished it thursday and I'm on QoA now
Falsettos. It's very good. I didn't have the sidebar visible so I shouldn't have seen recommended vids and the ones that pop up at the end of the video should have been about rwrb, cookie clicker, or more stuff about falsettos but it was fucking seth meyers. i youtubed too close to the sun fr
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I Am On A Journey to Watch AS MANY Films with Crispin Hellion Glover in Them As Possible
I will do my best to watch the films/shows and give a high-level view of my thoughts on each.
I will continue to do this until I watch all of the films I have on my list (the list will be added to this post as well as updated throughout).
I am playing catch-up compared to my other social media accounts but, to be honest, Tumblr is perfect for this kind of thing.
So... Buckle up because this is going to be a LONG ride. (:
First, I’d like to personally thank Crispin Glover for all the fantastic performances and artworks he’s created over the years. His approach to acting is beautifully unique, and every single one of his performances are memorable. Though I haven’t had the pleasure of viewing his own films, I’ve at least seen some of his artwork through the books he publishes. Now that I’ve found myself down a rabbit hole of sorts, not just watching these movies but also listening to all kinds of interviews and such, I am a huge admirer of the way he approaches what he does and creates.
TL;DR: I’ve found boundless inspiration and joy from observing both his craft and his art. So, for that and for a lot more I’m struggling to put into words because they are genuinely such big emotions, thank you!
Ok, let’s get into it.
Although this is not the original list from when I started the journey (this project began in early December 2022--today is January 1, 2023), here is the list I am using to track, plus where to watch the films. Note that some of these are me rewatching them--like Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter and Alice in Wonderland--but I will note those as I go.
Crispin Glover's Filmography Watchlist
Note: this is not his full filmography (and does not include his personal films--though I aspire to see those as soon as I can) however it is a list of the films I aim to watch and potentially own.
Watched (in order of coverage):
Friday the 13th The Final Chapter (DVD - owned)
Back to the Future (Peacock)
Bartleby (DVD - owned)
Wizard of Gore (Tubi)
Willard (DVD - owned)
Twister [1989] (Amazon Prime)
We Have Always Lived in the Castle (DVD - owned)
Lucky Day (Amazon Prime)
Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (Netflix)
Drop Dead Sexy (Tubi)
The Donner Party (Tubi)
Like Mike (Tubi)
Aimy in a Cage (Tubi)
River’s Edge (DVD - owned)
Crime and Punishment (Tubi)
Charlie's Angels (DVD - owned)
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (DVD - owned)
Rubin & Ed (DVD - owned)
Simon Says (DVD - owned)
Hot Tub Time Machine (HBO Max)
Freaky Deaky (Tubi)
The People vs. Larry Flynt (Hulu)
Mr. Nice (Tubi)
At Close Range (HBO Max)
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (HBO Max)
Epic Movie (Hulu)
Wild at Heart (DVD - owned)
Alice in Wonderland (Disney+)
Watching:
American Gods (DVD - owned)
To watch:
Little Noises (DVD - owned)
Teachers (DVD)
The Doors (DVD)
Fast Sofa (YouTube/DVD)
Beowulf (Pluto)
The Incident at Loch Ness (Amazon Prime)
Smiley Face Killers (Amazon Prime)
The Bag Man (Amazon Prime)
Hotel Room - Episode: "Blackout" (YouTube)
The Orkly Kid (?)
Where the Heart Is (?)
Why am I doing this? Because I want to!
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To kick things off, and in the order in which I cover this journey on other social media platforms, a rewatch of one of my favorite slasher flicks was in order. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)!
If you remember this movie at all, which you should because it is the 2nd best film in the franchise, you may recall the awkward kid who kept talking about being horny, obsessed over his friend calling him a "dead fuck," and danced real wacky in that one scene. Ya know, Jimmy “Jimbo” Mortimer. Yes! That one! That was Crispin Glover alright.
Though the role is small, his performance in this is just exactly what I’ve come to expect from most, if not all, of Crispin’s performances: oh so memorable.
I love this performance a lot. Even before I was aware of Crispin Glover, I was enamored with just how strange the character was and how that differed from a lot of the other performances in the Friday the 13th franchise.
A bit of a fun fact: Crispin has talked about that dance he does and mentions that the song that was played on set during filming was not what ended up being used in the final product of that scene. Apparently, the song used for filming was AC/DC’s “Back in Black.” Cool folks on the internet have attempt to show that off so check this shit out:
youtube
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As part of a double feature with Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, I watched Back to the Future (1985) for the first time. Yes, the first time. I know how shameful for a 28-year-old such as myself.
I genuinely felt that the best descriptor for the film was "cute". It was cute! It’s one of those movies that I felt like I had really already seen due to how references to it have permeated our culture.
I can understand why the film is a classic. The way Crispin plays George McFly makes him an incredibly endearing character. I loved the “George-isms” that Crispin created, that carry over from old George to young George. It’s excellent work.
I think Back to the Future is talked about too much, in all honesty, and especially with the whole lawsuit and incredibly harmful shit that happened to Crispin with Back to the Future II, a movie which I straight up refuse to see.
But yeah, all that aside, Back to the Future was cute and a fun time.
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Shout out to the free streaming service Tubi, which has been incredible kind to me and provided SO many of the films on my list.
One of those films is Bartleby (2001). Bartleby is a surrealist, sit-com-style office comedy film adaptation of Herman Melville's short story "Bartleby, the Scrivener". Crispin plays Bartleby, and genuinely ends up having few lines except for, of course, “I would prefer not to” or some iteration of that.
This film ended up being Supremely My Shit in terms of what I look for in a comedy.
I LOVED this movie, so much so that I now own it on DVD and plan to show it to everyone. I cannot recommend it enough.
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Next up, Wizard of Gore (2007). A splatter/noir horror film. This is a remake of the 1970 film of the same name.
I will say that this film, overall, wasn’t that great. It has some highlights though! For instance, Crispin hams it up as a wacko magician who has an outrageously huge codpiece. And, oh hey! Brad Dourif and Jeffrey Combs are in it!
As I’ve sat with this one, it’s one where I can say the performance that Crispin gives is the real draw here. He’s absolutely perfect for something so strange and unusual as this.
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Now, I should back up and take some time to talk about Willard (2003). I have a lot of thoughts, as well as some fun facts.
This remake of a 1971 film of the same name, which in turn was based off of the Stephen Gilbert novel Ratman’s Notebooks, is a standout so far for the films I've seen Crispin Glover in. I knew going into viewing it that it was well regarded in his filmography. I can understand why! It's incredible.
It is a horror movie but not in the way that is typical. To me, the horror lies in the treatment of Willard, particularly in the workplace. And then, of course, later the horror continues but more in the form of self-inflicted acclimation of choices made by Willard (if only he were nicer to Ben! Oh, things would’ve been different). I do believe reading the rats as a force of nature as an element of horror is pretty accurate.
Though the part that make this film an instant comfort movie for me/a film that immediately went on my "get to know me movies list" is Crispin's performance and the framing of Willard's abuse in the workplace. I have some pretty bad workplace-related trauma from sustained abuse by past and previous employers. I have to admit to feeling some level of catharsis in relating to the Willard character, as well as viewing him as a kind of hero despite serious pitfalls and gruesome mistakes throughout, including a variety of self-inflicted repression of emotion and being (also I'd say the character is neurodivergent-coded, and thats highly relatable to me). I also think that [spoilers] when he kills his boss with a horde of rats--not for himself, entirely, but for Socrates--I felt that in my core like, yes, it's so much harder to stand up for yourself, even if you can't take more abuse, but it's easier when you have something rally behind or protect or avenge, in this situation. Am I thinking too hard about the contents of a 2003 horror movie? Probably.
Anyway. The rats are awesome in this film too, as is the performance of R. Lee Ermey. I wish New Line Cinemas let the film be rated R. I feel like more gore and Ermey riffing off strings of cursing would've been nice. Apparently, there was an R-rated version but it is lost now. I've been able to view some of the deleted scenes and I can see where an R-rated version could have been.
A great aspect of promotional materials for Willard was that Crispin Glover recorded a cover of Michael Jackson's "Ben" (yes, it's about the rat). It's my understanding the original song was recorded for the 1973 sequel to Willard, also titled Ben. Anyway, the music video for Glover's take on "Ben" was also directed by him. It's an absolute treat. Check it out:
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While I have you here, I'd like to let you know that the opening credits of Willard feature imagery from Glover's own published book -- Rat Catching. Rat Catching, published in 1988, is a heavily illustrated piece of visual and textural art built from the 1896 book Studies in the Art of Rat Catching.
Crispin has published other works similar to Rat Catching: Oak Mot (1989), Concrete Inspection (1990), What it is, and How it is Done (1992), and Round My House (2016). In each he rearranges text, blacks out certain standing passages (a la blackout poetry), and adds his own prose and occasionally images into the margins and elsewhere, thus creating an entirely new story. Plus, as is my understanding, a visual feast for the eyes.
GUESS WHAT THE COOLEST PART ABOUT THESE BOOKS ARE?! You can get em directly from the guy himself! Literally. You can chuck $30-ish + shipping at him directly (metaphorically, of course) and you'll get a book.
I fully intend to get my hands on at least a few of them... or all of them, ya know, casually. If you also think these books sound rad as fuck, here's the website: crispinglover.com. Do it. Go get an awesome book created by an awesome artist. It's cool to do.
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On my TV back a few weeks ago was Twister (1989).
From what I had previously read about the film, it billed as a comedy but in actuality it is more drama. It is an adaptation of the the novel Oh by Mary Robison.
The film features music by Hans Zimmer, a cameo by William S. Burroughs, and, of course, a late 80s Crispin Glover doing his weird lil thing that I love oh so much. It was... bizarre!!
I can’t really say if it is good or bad--it just is. I can’t even say if the ending is good or bad, it simply is what it is. Having sat with it for a while, I can appreciate Twister for eliciting emotion. I was pretty fed up with some of the character and confused at their motivations but at least it got me thinking about what was happening and asking the question “what are they doing and why?” That’s important in its own right.
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Let me just say, I was VERY excited to watch We Have Always Lived in the Castle (2018). I am a huge fan of the original novel, which I read when I was much younger. I remember starting to watch this film when it came to Netflix in 2019 but failing to finish it due to life events (I think we were moving), but I can say now that I have finished watching it!
I am happy to report that We Have Always Lived in the Castle is a fairly faithful adaptation of the novel, give or take, and was really enjoyable to see. I feel like it is a hard novel to adapt since Merricat is an unreliable narrator and it is all told from her perspective, but I think this film does a solid job illustrating that.
I'm generally very pleased with the framing of the characters in the adaptation and the performances are great. I don't think anyone else could do Charles except for Sebastian Stan. He's so good at playing a total dick.
On that note, I don't think anyone else could've played Julian Blackwood like Crispin Glover. Comparing to the novel, I had no idea how to really imagine Julian in a lot of instances but seeing this character performed in this way makes SO much more sense to me. Incredible work.
I could probably go on, but I highly recommend checking it out for yourself, especially if you're a fan of the novel!
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Ohhh Lucky Day (2019)! It was AWESOME. Though, I didn’t keep enough detailed thoughts about it so I apologize for a short and sweet overview of some highlights.
I swear to god this film must've flown under the radar when it came out because I hadn't heard of it until recently (but I distinctly remember seeing showtimes for it back when it came out).
It was a damn good time. Crispin plays a contract killer of sorts who has the most over-the-top French accent (despite not being French at all) and every scene he's in is golden. His serious demeanor for some of the more ridiculous scenes just works and brought a big stupid grin to my face.
I’ve seen this film twice now it’s just a masterfully done action/comedy/drama--and yes, it really does blend the genres so well.
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Before I take a break from letting this live in my drafts, I want to talk about a big one for me: Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities, Episode 5: “Pickman's Model”. The one that started this journey. And I know, I'm so utterly late to the party! I live in my own lil horror-themed film bubble most of the time until I find some performances I enjoy and really gnaw on, for lack of a better word. So this kicked it off entirely.
The whole show is a standout for me. I enjoyed every single episode and every story. I think the most technically scary was “Lot 36″ and the most relatable to me in the way it is framed is “The Outside”. Upon my first watch of the show, I just knew I'd be head over heels for the “Pickman’s Model” retelling. It's my favorite Lovecraft story, and I just love that integration of tangible art and eldritch horror. It's just the best.
I feel that the adaptation is very strong, and a great depiction of a more modern Lovecraft despite the setting and time period. I loved all the lil reference drops to other works in the Cthulhu Mythos throughout as well -- such a nice touch.
I felt the relationship that Thurber and Pickman have is so utterly bizarre and my own explanation for why there is a draw there is that "the darkness" itself as described and felt by both character acts as an allegory for queerness. I might be um biased, being a queer person and all, but that's just me. I think it's also valid to interpret the whole relationship as like human curiosity--like hell yeah I'd also be fascinated by this guy's art, if not also a bit frightened! So the draw is simply explained that way... if you so choose. Lots of ways to go on that end of things, and that's rad.
There is such a a genuine level of depth and understanding of character in the way Crispin plays Pickman. I swear there's not even that much depth in the original Lovecraft story! It's just all on this adaptation, the director, and his performance. It's outstanding, and he really steals the show (and my heart) in this one particularly.
A lot of folks, and I mean A LOT, didn't seem to appreciate the the truly old-timey Bostonian accent. I see ya’ll out there. C'mon, he worked with THE Erik Singer for that accent to sounds as true-to-time-period as possible -- at least respect it but I find it fascinating how that, being as normal for that setting as it is, given an extra level of strangeness to Pickman as a character (namely because nobody else is doing that, give or take. There are some Massachusetts accents here and there from other characters but there's not really the same level of commitment).
Also, I thought the way they did Pickman's sketchbook up as a multi-media and textural kinda piece in and of itself was a nice touch -- felt like that was purposely laid out specifically with Crispin in mind to play off the works he creates. Not quite, of course, but I think that's neat and how I’m choosing to read into it.
#Crispin Glover Filmography Watching Journey#crispin glover#crispin hellion glover#friday the 13th final chapter#back to the future#bartleby 2001#wizard of gore 2007#willard 2003#twister 1989#we have always lived in the castle#lucky day 2019#Cabinet of Curiosities#pickmans model
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