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dramaticallytotal · 1 day ago

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I'm Just An Assistant Headcanons: Part One

Idea Post

• Chef finds it amusing while Chris doesn't, that the crew and interns listen to Noah more than they do, Chris. Noah has to ask for something once, and they immediately set out to do it, but when Chris asks, he has to ask multiple times, or it comes out wrong.

An intern made a mistake once when Noah asked for something....once. No one made a mistake again in the face of his anger. It was understandable given that the mistake could have gotten a lot of people hurt and destroyed a lot of weeks' worth of work.

He is understanding if someone is confused as long as they ask questions to clarify, but if they don't and they go on to make an avoidable mistake that person will get a very intimidating lecture and if they still make mistakes they are fired. He doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior, given they work on one of the most dangerous shows on reality television.

Plus, most of those who consistently make mistakes end up being spies sent by the network to make the show the way they want. Which is something Noah will not stand for.

The network/producers go about this way because they are way too intimidated by Noah to call or set up a meeting with him.

• No Noah and Cody cuddling in season one, so Sierra isn't antagonistic of him. She finds him fascinating due to the times he's been on screen and the number of fans it caused. It is oddly high, which Sierra hypothesized was because of SCVAMC Syndrome. (Side-Character-Viewed-As-Main-Character Syndrome) People see someone who is or essentially is a side character, and because they don't know much about them, they are intrigued and the little they find out becomes something special. It happens all the time in video games and anime. The more mystery or missing information, the more alluring.

That's essentially what Noah was, and she finds him interesting. She kept trying to find out more about him so she could really keep her status of being the top total drama blogger.

• Because of this, Noah tried to avoid her as much as possible.

• Almost immediately when the new season started, Heather and Duncan tried to intimidate or threaten Noah for information on the season, which he, of course, ignored or outright laughed at. They tried this all the time. At the beginning of the competition, a couple episodes after, the merge, and then more towards the finale if either made it that far. Duncan even accused Noah of helping Beth in season two, which he promptly shut down.

Noah was a lot of things, but he was not a cheater. He liked his job. Why would he jeopardize it by helping someone cheat? Yeah not likely.

If he was going to help anyone cheat, it would be Owen, Izzy, or Eva. But again, he would never do that.

• He's the reason Alejandro got cast as he picked him out from hundreds of applicants for the new season. Not Dirt Bags, though that is what Alejandro believed he was auditioning for. If Dirt Bags had been the real season, he most likely would have picked José but since it was a smoke screen for the real season, Noah chose Alejandro because he thought he would be the best fit. He didn't pick Sierra though.

Apparently, Blaineley had called in a hefty favor to put her assistant/informant on the show with the producers. Noah and Chris had said no, but the network offered Noah a pay raise, and they gave Chris more freedom with the season and the next two ones that were in the planning stages. They couldn't refuse the offer.

Technically, Noah could have, but he didn't want to. Not until he met Sierra. It wasn't until then that he was thinking he should have refused.

• Alejandro first saw Noah during the break between the Pyramid Over/Underline challenge and The Amazing Camel Race challenge since the crew and interns were setting up for the next challenge. They were directed to go to the white tent and get away from the heat. Alejandro was surprised at this because all he had heard about Chris and the show was the awful conditions.

But they were provided a tent that had little fans attached to some poles that helped a little bit from the heat. They were given chairs to sit on, though they were organized by team, so Alejandro was going to take the opportunity to get to know his team. It was as Owen, the utter oaf, was spewing some story of accidentally entering and winning a hotdog eating contest that Alejandro was snapped out of his less than polite thoughts by a water bottle being shoved in his face.

"What the-?"

"Here. You guys need to hydrate. We can't have any of you keeling over because of dehydration or heat stroke." A somewhat nasally voice said in perfect monotone. It was when he finally took the water that he saw the person who the voice belonged to, and Alejandro found his heart skipped a beat at the sight.

The boy looked around their age with tan skin that was peppered with many moles and beauty marks (angel kisses his Nana called them). He had dark, oh so dark hooded brown eyes that were perpetually lidded that had bags that somehow did not diminish his beauty. He had a small wrinkle on his forehead that Alejandro found and fought the urge to run his fingers across so he could see it relaxed. Then he eyes traveled down to his lips, his pouty lips that were...oh shit...moving because he was still talking to Alejandro.

"Dude, you okay? Do you feel dizzy or anything? I can have medical in here stat." The angel said.

"Ah, no! No. No. I'm good. Just a little tired, I confess." Alejandro lied, you know, like a liar.

"Mm. Well, you did carry two girls over a pyramid. It would make sense that you're tired. Rest as much as you can before the next challenge."

"S-Si. I will. Thank you for the water amigo." He stuttered!? Since when did he stutter???

He watched as the angel walked away and continued handing out waters. He watched until the boy was in the far corner of the tent talking to some of the interns. That was when Alejandro decided he must know who his angel was! He absolutely did not want to interact with his team more, so he sought someone he thought would know the answer while not making him feel like his head would explode when they spoke. He settled on Courtney, and when he finally found out his angel's name, he knew he was a goner.

Noah~! How perfect!

• Alejandro flirts with Noah whenever he can, which is surprisingly a lot, but Noah doesn't believe he is being genuine until Noah made a self-deprecating joke about it and Alejandro snapped. He didn't mean to crowd into Noah's space, but he couldn't help him. He desperately wanted him to understand. His flirting on the show was in his contract because that was the kind of character the network wanted, and though Alejandro had no problem with casual flirting, it was getting to him because he only wanted to flirt with Noah.

He begged him to believe him, and when Noah found out that, yes, the flirting was in his contract, he started to open up a little to the flirting though he was still a little wary. Alejandro counted it as a win and promised that once the competition was over, he would still be very interested in Noah.

• Teams!!!

Team Victory: Leshawna, Bridgette, DJ, Harold, Ezekiel, Lindsay, Sadie

Team Amazon: Heather, Gwen, Courtney, Eva, Sierra, Katie, Beth

Team Chris: Alejandro, Owen, Izzy, Tyler, Trent, Justin, Duncan

• Ezekiel still has a contract with Chris to go feral, and Duncan still quits, which puts Team Amazon at a numbers advantage.

• If Noah isn't directly responsible for Harold's elimination, Alejandro or Izzy are the next options. And both are, in fact, responsible in this au! Izzy because there can only be one ginger! Jk, she does it because she overheard the guy lecturing her NoNo about how he could allow Chris and the show to be so culturally insensitive and that he was part of the problem. How dare he!?

Knowing her NoNo, he probably did the best he could! I mean, it definitely could have been worse than Chris dressing up like Rick O'Connell from The Mummy. Though she knew that was not what Harold was referring to, she just thought he ought to be grateful because she was fairly certain if Noah wasn't there, Chris would have worn a tacky Pharoah costume from Spirit Halloween.

Alejandro teams up with her once he catches on to what she's doing, and it's only because he heard Noah venting to some crew members, and he absolutely does not want his angel unnecessarily stressed. Harold is a cause of said stress, so he must go! (He truly is a professional simper)

• Yes! Chris's outfit is different! There will be a lot more differences in this au because Noah is working on the show instead of competing.

• There will also be more challenges! Some I made up and some inspired by RR! Since this is supposed to be a world tour, there will be two challenges conducted wherever they visit. One will be at a famous landmark and the other just somewhere well known or wherever they got permission to rent/film at.

• Courtney and Noah don't really like each other, so they have a small rivalry going on. Noah finds it entertaining while Courtney does not. He's the one who makes sure they can't be sued again. Courtney got lucky with her first and last lawsuit, but after that, Noah made sure to dot every 'i' and cross every 't' when it came to the rest of season two and the newest season.

Every time Courtney complained about something or threatened to sue for some imperceived injustice, Noah got to throw the book at her, so to say. His eidetic memory really came in handy there as he can recall and recite word for word her contract (plus everyone else's).

• Courtney and Alejandro do become friends, but Courtney is rethinking that decision when she realizes Alejandro has the biggest crush on Noah.

• Alejandro: "He wore his glasses today! Doesn't he look positively dashing!"

Courtney: "If I had a newspaper, I would smack you with it."

• Alejandro still doesn't like Owen, but he is willing to tolerate him because of all the Noah lore he drops!

Also, because his amor would be mad at him if he did anything to the buffoon.

• Noah presents a lot of the challenges with Chef, which means he has to dress up.

• Noah is actually pretty sure he's cursed because he always seems to get hurt in increasingly bizarre ways. Like the time one of the stupid apples for the New York challenge fell on him when he oversaw a small team while they were setting up for said challenge.

Or when he was bringing Chris another hot chocolate in the Yukon, and he got crushed by Trent. (Instead of Noah being launched off the chunk of ice by Owen, it was Trent.)

Before that, he had tried giving Bridgette her issued jacket when she shoved him away, yelling that she had a boyfriend. That felt like an overreaction, but he had no time to think on that because he stumbled back and slipped into a large pile of snow.

• The contestants watched as Chris worried and fretted over Noah and made him drink his original hot chocolate because he didn't want his emotionally adopted son to be cold! Think of his anemia!!! Noah was taken back to the plane to warm up before he was allowed back and decided to take Chris a replacement hot chocolate....his well intentions ended up with him being crushed under Trent and had Chef fretting over him in place of Chris.

He was grounded to the plane for the rest of the challenge.

Stupid father figures! He had work to do!!!

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fight-for-what-you-love · 3 months ago

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♪Wheel of Fortune - Kay Starr

Aahhhh. I love weddings. Don’t you? I think it’s a wonderful expression of one’s love for another, and it’s always nice to see celebrated! Crashing weddings can be fun to watch too, thankfully. Thanks, Sierra! (And sorry you lost your husband!)

Notes on the episode under the cut!

* Cody’s silently praying to whatever God may be out there that Noah’s the one that comes back.

* Chris announces Noah’s return as he rises from the stage on a three-tier platform. Sierra’s “WHAT” is drowned out by Cody’s “YES!!!”.

* (Noah's song is an entirely new arrangement that spoofs Kay Starr’s “Wheel Of Fortune”. It would entail Noah leading [obviously], singing about how awful it is that Lady Luck brought him back to compete on this awful show. It would end with Noah and Cody collectively thanking Lady Luck for letting them see each other again.)

* Noah asks if he has to go back to team Chris, and Chris responds that the teams are merging. Everyone welcomes this development except Sierra.

* Once he rejoins the cast proper, Sierra starts picking a fight with him. “Whatever… At least I got to spend more time with Cody.” Noah’s petty. “…At least Cody likes spending time with me.”

* They keep going. “At least I got to sleep with Cody!” “At least I slept with him first!” “At least my parents won’t hate me because I kissed a boy!!” “At least my parents care about me in the first place!!”

* Chris interrupts them: “Okay, okay! As entertaining as this spat is…” Cut to Cody, Tyler and Heather holding back Noah, and Courtney, Alejandro and Duncan holding back Sierra. Cody holds Noah’s mouth shut and Courtney holds Sierra’s shut. “…I’ve got a show to run. Let’s move on, shall we?”

* Sierra’s the first one to spin the roulette machine and she gets Tyler. She’s not happy. Tyler’s met with no one as Sierra yells at Chris to let her spin again. He insists she gets what she gets, and she’s not allowed to re-roll.

* Noah goes after Sierra, and rolls Cody. He pops out and finds himself in front of Noah. He jumps up and hugs him tight as he says it’s “The BEST DAY EVER!!” Sierra seethes in the background.

* Courtney rolls Alejandro and Heather is left with Duncan. Alejandro's disappointed but he won't say that out loud. Courtney on the other hand is SO happy to not be with Duncan.

* (As it turns out, Courtney and Alejandro are more compatible than they thought. Duncan and Heather, on the other hand, are not. Sad.)

* Noah and Cody breeeeeeze through the dress portion of the challenge. Cody’s laying down on his podium kicking around his legs, yelling directions at Noah with the stupidest look on his face. Noah makes it to the dress first and looks it up and down. Cody yells out “I THOUGHT THAT DRESS SUITED YOU WELL!!” Noah weakly yells back “Thank you Cody!” He’s not thrilled about wearing the dress, but he does appreciate Cody leading him to the one he’d be the most comfortable in.

* Noco’s the first ones to walk the tightrope. Cody looks down at the falls nervously, and Noah suggests carrying him instead. Cody stops him, insisting he can do it, and picks Noah up. Noah leans into him, getting comfortable. “If you insist, macho man.”

* Sierra and Tyler go after them and Sierra’s visibly upset. Tyler tries to mellow her out, suggesting that Cody and Noah are happy with each other and maybe she should let them be. Sierra stares at them as they talk about flower arrangements in their hypothetical wedding. She decides that no, she’s not quite ready to let them be, so she starts bouncing to make Tyler wobble and shake the line. It works and both couples fall.

* Cody manages to grab Noah in one arm and the line in another, though he’s struggling. Noah asks him if he can pull them back up (though he knows he can’t.) Cody tries anyway, and strains to the point of veins popping out of his neck. Noah tells him to stop.

* Alejandro and Courtney walk by and Alejandro “accidentally” kicks Cody’s hand off the line. Noco falls, screaming on the way down (“No!” in reality, “Asshole!” If I was allowed to curse.) Courtney is somewhat impressed by his ruthlessness. They win this challenge. Duncan and Heather were just bickering the whole time don’t worry about them.

~*[Events of the comic]*~

* Duncan gets voted out for being a prick and a bastard. Courtney is ok with this.

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