#because everyone just called him ''kenny'' anyways

[wewerebornsextuplets]

parentce 👍

[amwife]

more sharky imagines plsss!!

Sharky

the tt im talking ab in this is the one where she has lipstick on her face nd the guy rubs it off nd hes got kisses all over him. also i thought i posted this ages ago 😭

---------

You giggled as you lowered your phone, watching the product of the last half hour. Sharky just huffed in annoyance while you giggled even more at that.

You were Sharky's secret girlfriend. He wanted to introduce you to his friends but was scared they'd accidentally leak your existence to the fans, possibly putting you in danger.

You kissed Sharky's cheek again, making the lipstick mark on it more prominent.

"Didn't you already film it?"

"I wanna get another shot."

Just as you were about to start filming the cute couple tiktok you had made him recreate with you, there were people banging on the door.

You jumped and looked at him who just stood up and closed his bedroom door with you in there. As soon as you heard him open the door you could hear his friends yelling in greeting until it kind of went silent. You shuffled to the door as you heard them start laughing, and pointing out the kiss marks that were littered on Sharkys face who just walked very briskly back to the bedroom with red cheeks.

You giggled as you turned and pulled out wipes from your bag and started wiping them off his face as soon as he came in, while he internally sulked about them seeing that.

"Oi have you got a gyal in there?" One of Sharky's friends opened the door.

A shorter one popped up from behind the initial friend and gasped as he looked at you, you could see the other two roaming around the apartment.

"No way. Sharky's got a gyal. Oi Niko, Kenny, come here and look at this."

Sharky just lowered his head into the crook of your neck while wrapping his arms around you. You could feel his warm cheeks on your cold skin, his hands on your waist making your own cheeks heat up too.

"Babe, introduce me to them."

He hummed in return and turned around to face the group of four men who were standing in the doorway.

"Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/n." He waved his arm to you while they all stood silently looking at you as you waved awkwardly.

"Why are you with him?" The shorter one asked, which earned him a slap on the back of his head from the one who opened the door.

"Shut up Aj. Nice to meet you Y/n, call me Chunkz." He shook your hand before introducing the others. "This is Aj, Kenny and Niko."

"Why are you guys even here-" Sharky was cut off by you smacking his arm, "sorry. What are my lovely friends doing here?"

"We should do game night."

"It's midday man."

It was silent for a moment until the one introduced as Niko spoke up.

"Aj got us kicked out of the place we were having lunch at."

"HOW WAS IT MY FAULT? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TRIPPED THE WAITER."

"THAT WAS BECAUSE YOU-"

"Oi, stop arguing you idiots," Chunkz smacked them both just above their nape, "anyways. We should get to know your gyal now that we are here."

You smiled at him before he ushered everyone into the living room, and began questioning you, while Sharky continued wiping off the kisses littered on his face.

[sunny-ssunset]

Honest south park dating headcanons🔥💯

Im writing so much bc i literally have nothing else to do so enjoy 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯

Anyways honest headcanons about how i think the main 4 would act in a relationship with you (all aged up) mostly gender neutral but there is like mentions of boobies :)

TW Mentions of s*x, dr*gs and v*mit

Stan

•Honestly you wouldnt have to put much effort in to get with him

•Mother fuckers desprate for love

•Hes actually a bit of a wreck once you date him

•Crying because he is scared you'll leave him

•You are defo a rebound

•To be fair he'd start to fall for you though

•And because of that he'd throw up all over you

•He'd break up with you if wendy said she missed him

•In his eyes theres always someone better

•And im sorry but he moves on fast

•If wendy breaks up with him again though

•Expect a drunk call at 3 am saying how much he misses you and how he fucked up and if you can get back together

•Its your choice if you get back with him though lmao

Kyle

•He is extremely awkward

•Kyle has high ass standards so when he sees someone that meets those standards he'll fall hard

•This man cannot talk to people he likes

•If he doesnt like you he is the rizziest rizzler ever

•And 0 rizz if he does lmao

•He'd start SWEATING

•He would be stumpted for words

•Then when you leave he'd blame someone else for 'fucking up his chance'

•If however you did start dating him (god knows how)

•He'll probably dump you over the smallest thing

•If you vape or smoke though its a big no no

•And like you would argue over the smallest thing

•He'd rant and rant and rant and rant about something cartman did that day

•Probably would put work or school before you

•He forgets your his s/o sometimes

•He'll treat you like a therapist

•However he is really fucking good in bed 😩😏

Cartman

•This man would always be looking out for no. 1

•Genuinely would not give a fuck about you until you show any value to him

•Kyle has a s/o? DAMN GUESS WHO ALSO HAS ONE NOW

•Always trying to prove he is better than everyone else (especially kyle)

•He listens to alpha male podcasts

•Andrew tate supporter

•To be honest despite him also being plus sized

•He wont date someone who is also plus sized

•Its because andrew tate said he can do better

•He is delusional and doesnt believe you when you say he is fat

•Its apparently just baby fat

•He would let you in on his schemes and let you tag along but would also throw you under the bus and say it was all your idea if he gets caught

•Manipulative as fuck

•Would get pissy if you said no to anything he asks you

•He'd leave you because "He can do better"

Kenny

•He fucking stinks

•Its either he'll stink of zaza or just plain stinkyness

•He like never showers even when he had the opportunity to

•He'll have a huge crush on you and you'll find out through other kids

•Cartman probably spread it around

•He'll always be staring at your boobs or ass

•Says word like "GYATT DAMN" "WHAT THE SIGMA"

•He doesnt have tiktok only youtube shorts

•Has a shitty cracked iphone 6 in rose gold with no case

•He'll be very loyal like he would never get with someone else

•However always staring at someone elses boobs or ass if not yours

•Will compare you to 'attractive celebrities'

•Hes done many many dr*gs

•Him and his mates probably made a list of all the hottest people in the school (god knows where you are on it)

•He has no rizz at all because hes extremely shy

•Probably only got with you bc of how big your gyatt was

•Hes always really h*rny

[h-harleybaby]

main four South Park with a bimbo reader (dumb blonde, etc.) like reader who fits that stereotype. You can do a gn! Reader if you want to but if you can pls do fem reader tysm!

Yeah ofc girlie!!! Fem reader is my speciality anyways 😘😘 slightly nsfw? a few mentions of tits

Cartman

• At first Cartman thought you were super annoying because no way someone can actually be that hot and so fucking dumb. He thought you were just fucking with everyone and tried practically everything to try tripping you up and ‘reveal’ that you were actually smart and trying to play mind games with everyone. He’s the one who does that not you!

• I think after the first few schemes he roped you into without you really suspecting him or anything he gave up. Well he was still interested in you, messing with you was far from boring for him. You went with his schemes and it’s like the two of you just clicked, he just couldn’t let you go!

• In a way you’ve kinda taken place of Butters in Cartman’s schemes, and Butters definitely isn’t complaining because now he doesn’t get grounded AS often. He’s still a 3rd wheel for you guys tho, like alllllll the time! You can’t get rid of him no matter how many times Cartman’s tried.

• I’m telling you, he’s totally used you as a way to get out of things like speeding tickets and to distract people while he does stuff. You’re his go to distraction and you’re just happy to be hanging out with him. On his cue, you usually flirt with whoever he needs you to, maybe twirl your hair around your finger and giggle a bit (he’s more than painfully aware of how mesmerizing your tits are when you laugh)

• In the end he might be a little jealous but he has to remind himself that he’s not dating you yet and he was quite literally the one who told you to do that… then he throws that out the window because he doesn’t think he needs to be reasoned with. Regardless, sometimes he’ll call you doll or good girl because something something positive reinforcement and it’s totally not because he enjoys the way you smile and giggle (and the way your tits shake) when he calls you that

Stan

• I’m not saying it was love as first sight but… Stan was actually kinda enamored with you the first time you even opened your mouth. Sure he internally facepalmed when you said something but nonetheless, he thought you were perfect. He’s a hopeless romantic, so of course he’ll insist it was love at first sight

• For the longest time he wasn’t sure how to approach you, let alone without being queasy, to the point he even tried getting advice from Cartman and Kenny. I mean it makes sense right? They’ve had the most girlfriends so they should know a thing or two about getting chicks! Yeah no he was dead wrong and was convinced to throw money at you while his two friends cried from laughing so hard. Honestly you didn’t even get it, and just helped him pick up the money. I swear you could hear his heart cry out of embarrassment

• It actually doesn’t take very long for the two of you to date, seeing as he was hopelessly in love and you thought he was pretty sweet. A couple dates was really all you needed to accept being his gf

• Stan doesn’t really like hanging out with you at his place, especially after Randy kept barging in on the two or you and embarrassing him. No hate to Randy, you think he’s pretty funny but Stan can’t stand Randy saying another embarrassing thing about his childhood in his moms robe. Not to mention Randy kind of has a history of accidentally killing Shelley’s bfs so maybe it’s not the best idea to be around him too much

• As I was saying, a lot of dates/hang outs are in your room, your very pink room. Practically everything in there is pink and Stan has no problem buying you more stuff that’ll match, like plushies (hello kitty, kuromi, etc), makeup, anything you want really. If it means seeing you light up in happiness, nothing is too expensive. He gets money from working on the family farm, might as well use it right?

Kyle

• Kyle honestly didn’t think much of you until you asked him to tutor you, he just kinda thought you were dumb and not his problem. He can admit when a girl’s pretty but his logic was always that school, along with beating Cartman, was #1 in his priorities. Ha! He doesn’t even know how much that would change after he started talking to you

• After he started tutoring you, you kinda became his little project. He wanted you to pass your classes so bad! You? Not so much, you just really wanted to talk to the cute red head who broke lord knows how many pencils when talking to Cartman. You kinda thought it was hot?

• Your tutoring sessions slowly became more and more frequent to the point they were practically study dates! As much as he loves you, Kyle can’t help but facepalm at how bad you are at statistics. He might be more of a English guy but math came pretty easy to him too, he always excelled in all of his class. He swears the longer you’re around him the stupider he gets, and he doesn’t mind? Maybe it’s because he’s starting to ‘study’ with you and it’s basically just becoming him staring at your lips (or how your tits just slightly spill out of crop top)

• For a while, Ike was pretty on edge around you but he eventually warms up to you when you start handing him a little bar of chocolate and patting his head before going up to his brothers room. He warmed up to you pretty quickly, to the point he would start bursting in Kyle’s room to try getting your attention… and maybe some more chocolate. He’s not even THAT much younger than Kyle but he’s an absolute fiend for chocolate and annoying his brother

• For y’alls first actual date, Kyle tried doing something romantic like a candle lit dinner in his kitchen. He ended up burning the spaghetti so badly that it set on fire and you tried blowing out the fire with your stupidly perfectly glossed lips. Not. The. Best. Idea. It did take a while to get everything under control and after bribing Ike not to say anything, you guys ordered some food and ate with a lit candle between the two of you. One that Kyle refused to let out of his sight for more than a minute, I mean it helped make sure his thoughts didn’t… wander too much

Kenny

• Kenny thinks you’re soooo fun to hang around, you might not be the smartest but you’re a hell of a good time. You’re the bimbo to his himbo, Barbie and Ken much? In fact, your contact in his cracked ass phone is “Barbie 😘😘💕💕”, of course he has a matching “Ken 🥰🥰💕💕” one in your phone

• Is he totally looking at your tits half the time? Maybe, but he’s doing it respectfully!! I mean you’ve left him touch them.. as friends, definitely as friends. Regardless, one time you showed him how you got out of a ticket essentially with your tits and then he flashed the officer his nipple the next time and got arrested. It’s fine, you don’t mind bailing him out

• I’m convinced that Kenny was the one to show you weed and get you high for the first time. If people didn’t think you were a bimbo when they first met you, they’ll definitely think so when you’re high. You and Kenny have definitely taken some sort of edible right before class started and were high out of your minds the whole time. He was being stupidly philosophical the whole time and you were giggling the whole time despite not understanding what he was talking about

• He totally has this super old, rusty almost broken down truck he drives and you literally always leave your stuff there! His glove box is almost filled with your stuff like some of your makeup and for some reason the tiniest mini skirt he’s ever seen. He definitely won’t complain about it, it may or may not give him some very specific visuals he’s far from willing to give up

• Karen really likes you, and she loves how everything about you just screams pink! She practically begs you to teach her how to use makeup and you + Kenny end up buying some for her. She might be going through a little tomboy phase but she secretly loves pink, basically automatically making you her favorite person. Yeah, she’s not the best at hiding it. Kenny thinks it’s really sweet how you get along super well with Karen

[t0rturedangel]

Hey ummm this is my first time asking someone to write soo sorry if it's not good.

Anyways 4 main x reader how would there first kiss be like (romantic, weird,messy ykyk)

Hope you have a good day

╭ . . . first kisses ੭

• ➛ main four x reader ( separate ) ╰ notes / warnings :: just swearing, also this might be a little ooc

STAN MARSH - ✮ •

━ your first kiss would be quite awkward with STAN since the poor boy is trying not to vomit all over you.

━ he'll probably just give you a quick - yet sweet - peck on the lips then vomit.

━ while it's really sweet its also kinda sad - mostly for stan- he set up a little date for the two of you just for his first kiss with you and it all went to shit when he felt the take away he ate a few minutes ago coming back up

━ still though you found it cute that he tried and comforted him as best as you could

" awh man- I'm sorry [ name ] " Stan mumbled, running a hand through his hair clearly annoyed with himself for vomiting at such an important time in your guy's relationship. You laughed softly " Its fine, Stan, honest " giving his hand a small squeeze you leaned against his side " really ? " he asked, still ashamed with vomiting nearly all over you " course " you laughed, pressing a kiss to his cheek causing a red blush to take over your boyfriend's face. He slap his hand over his mouth - again- trying not to throw up, as he stared at you, absolutely in love and bewildered.

KYLE BROFLOVSKI - ✮ •

━ KYLE'S first kiss with you would be really romantic

━ Just like his buddy stan, kyle would make a date for your first kiss except it would be much more classy. While stan would probably order take out and watch movies with you for his date, Kyle would bring you to a restaurant ( probably in a suit as well ) and then walk you home after.

━ The kiss happened when kyle walked you back home, you thanked him and then pressed a kiss to his lips

━ Like i said, verry classy but still it was the best kiss of Kyle's life.

" Thank you for everything tonight kyle " you smiled, right after kissing him, it wasnt a short kiss nor was it awkward it was the most perfect kiss kyle's ever experienced. It felt so right to him and it must've felt right for you too. " I- uhm ... yeah dude? " he cursed at himself mentally for calling you 'dude' after such a romantic moment. Thankfully though you didnt seem offended, in fact you seemed to find it even cuter and funnier " Yeah . . . dude " you laughed, pressing another kiss, this time much quicker, to his cheek before walking home leaving a very flustered kyle behind. His legs were weak and wobblily, his face a shade of red that could easily rival his hair colour. He loved you so much, thats for sure.

KENNY MCCORMICK - ✮ •

━ your first kiss with KENNY would be sexual yet romantic, i mean come on its kenny.

━ The kiss would also happen right after you agree to be his girlfriend / boyfriend / lover or whatever. It would happen at your house, you two were hanging out after a date and kenny asked you the question when you answered yes he practically tackled you.

━ it would also lead to a make out, again how can it not?

━ now you have to pray that none of your guardians come in because, oh boy.

" Ken!- " you yelped once kenny paused his kiss for air, the blonde turned his head to the side, curious as to what you want " hm? yeah babe " your face was completely red " what if someone walks in and catches u- " Kenny cut you off with another loving kiss, his hands cupped your face " so ? now that you're mine i want everyone to know " he gave you a grin, you returning it " hahmm, fine " laughing kenny once more pressed his lips to yours, your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer, enjoying the moment with him.

ERIC CARTMAN - ✮ •

━ God, i dont even know how to describe your first kiss with ERIC

━ it was probably to show that your his lover, so a jealousy kiss- its that or a kiss after you made fun of kyle

━ he'd be so proud of you if you made fun of him he'd kiss you right Infront of everyone- something he's never done and never will do again, nothing against you its just he hates people seeing him kissing you.

━ After that, all kisses are private, it was just a one time public kiss.

" Eric ! " you gasped as his lips left yours, you didnt even know why he kissed you since he told you at the start of your relationship that all kisses and affection would be in private and yet right now he kissed you. in front of quite a lot of people. " I- im just so proud of you baby ! " he (probably fake) sniffed, smiling " what ?- wha... is this because i yelled at kyle and told him to fuck off ? " cartman nodded and pressed more kisses on your cheek, a red blush on you face. Wow, was all of this just because you made fun of kyle for like a millisecond. Not gonna lie, it was kinda nice, you just gotta now make sure to return the favor of the kiss later.

[sp-by-april]

MORE MEAN BRAT TAMING WITH KYLE STAN AND READER PLS! CAN BE MALE OR FEMALE! JUST NEED IT MEAN AND ROUGHHH

I hope this is to your liking. We have public humiliation, name calling, spitting, biting, collaring....

Kyle, Stan x F!Reader

[Read on Ao3!] [Kyle Master List] [Stan Master List]

I’m that girl everyone warns you about.

She’s wild.

She’s hot.

She’s selfish.

“She’s a little fucking brat,” Kyle said.

We were all at Clyde’s annual summer house party. Almost everyone in our graduating class was there. I was looking hot as ever, really feeling myself as I slid open the door to the deck when I heard Kyle and Stan talking. About me.

“She’s spoiled. No one’s ever stood up to her,” Stan said, “We both tried, that’s why she broke it off and ran,”

Yeah, I dated both of them. Not together, or at the same time, or anything. Neither relationship lasted long. Still.

I pranced out onto the deck and Stan almost jumped when he saw me.

I smirked, “Shit talking me, Marsh? I thought that was beneath you,”

Kyle frowned at me, “It’s not shit-talking if it’s true,”

“So when I tell you that the reasons I broke it off were because you were boring, you were too soft, and you had nothing to offer…” I grabbed the bottom of Stan’s jacket and tugged it to get a reaction out of them, “That’s not shit-talking because it’s the truth?”

Kyle smacked my hand away from him, “It doesn’t matter. You weren’t worth keeping, anyway,”

All my attention had been on Stan since I came outside and Kyle hates being ignored. I figured that would piss him off more than anything.

“Apparently, I’m still worth talking about,” I reached for Stan again but Kyle grabbed my wrist.

He started turning it, “Get out of here before I do something you’ll regret,”

He was actually kind of hurting me! I couldn’t believe it. It pissed me off. I grabbed his hand and tried to pull it off mine.

As I struggled, I used my most venomous tone, “Make me,”

He grabbed me with his other hand and wrenched me off of him.

Kyle held both of my wrists now, “I’m going to make you wish you’d never said that,”

He twisted so hard I yelped and my knees almost buckled.

He turned to Stan, “What do you think?”

“I’m in,” Stan grinned like an idiot and leaned over me, “You should be happy. Tonight is gonna be all about you,”

I tried to yank my wrists back but Kyle held firm, “Should we take her upstairs?”

“No,” Stan unzipped his jacket and tossed it on the chair beside him, “We should do it right here. So everyone can see,”

Stan curled his hand around my neck, his thumb landing right under my chin.

“She’s nothing. She’s just a spit cup,” He put his mouth to my ear, “We’ll prove it,”

I rolled my eyes and tipped my head away from him, “Good show. Almost believable. Can I go now, or are you guys going to bore me to death?”

Stan kept my neck in his hand, pulled me a step back, then pushed down until I was sitting on this long lounge chair against the back of the house.

I blinked as I looked out over the deck. There were groups of people in the backyard. Some of them were staring. We weren’t exactly being quiet. Stan was right, everyone could see. I wouldn’t back down, though. I just knew I could win this game.

Kyle finally let go of my wrists, “Feigning boredom. Talking back. None of your tricks are going to work tonight,”

I turned my head away from him as I rubbed each of my sore wrists.

Kyle sat down next to me and put his hand on my knee, “Ignoring me isn’t gonna work either,”

Stan’s thumb started to caress my throat as he leaned over me. His free hand dropped on my other knee. He and Kyle pulled them apart, flashing my lacy white panties to the audience below. The deck was now a stage. I’m pretty sure I saw Kenny texting someone about what was happening.

Kyle’s hand slid up my thigh and started pulling the thin fabric.

I ignored Kyle as Stan’s hand left my knee and dove into his back pocket, “Stan–“

Kyle pushed his fingers inside me forcefully and I gasped. I had to pull it together if I wanted to win.

I tried to continue ignoring Kyle, “Stan, I already know I’m the best you've ever had. I’m sure you probably still jack off to my nudes and everything but –“

“Shut the fuck up and open your mouth,” Kyle snapped. He was done being disregarded.

I finally looked over to him, and his hand pulled out of me. He was wet down to his knuckles with my slick and as he rubbed his fingertips against my lips I heard a distinct shutter sound. Stan was taking pictures on his phone. While I was momentarily distracted, Kyle pushed his fingers in my mouth and forced me to suck them clean.

Stan filmed the whole thing.

Kyle’s hand pulled out my mouth, quickly dropped down between my legs and he pushed his fingers back inside. He immediately started massaging my plush little g-spot.

He put his mouth to my ear and his hot breath melted over my skin in the cool night air, “I’m gonna keep you coming until you can’t take it,”

My thighs locked around his hand and my hips started grinding on him.

I tried my best to ignore him. I didn’t want to succumb so early but, fuck, he knew exactly where to touch me. When we were together I trained him well when it came to making me come. Now he was using it against me.

I couldn’t stop the wave. The pleasure I didn’t want washed over my body and I moaned shamelessly. The heart of me, the part of my body Kyle had once called his favorite place in the world, held his fingers like a vice as I came.

While I came down from the excellent endorphins, Kyle grinned as I released his hand.

He stood up and glanced over at Stan, “If you’re just gonna film…”

He started to unbutton and unzip his pants while Stan dropped onto the chair next to me.

His hand finally fell from my neck and slid straight down to my breasts. He filmed is hand fondling them through the thin material of my strapless dress. Then he filmed his hand dropping between my legs.

Stan’s fingers pushed inside me and my breath hitched as Kyle stroked himself in front of me.

I’d never tell him this in a million years, but Kyle had a great cock. It didn’t just feel good because he was so thick, it looked good. When we were together I would blow him all the time, just because I loved how he tasted and the way he felt on my tongue. If he thought he was punishing me by putting that thing in my mouth, he was in for a surprise.

He rubbed the tip over my lips, leaving them wet with precum and I finally opened my mouth. I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft and stoked him as my tongue ran small circles under the head. It was something I knew he loved. The first time we hooked up, I pulled this move and he came so fast that I was a little disappointed.

His breath quickened and mine went with him as Stan’s fingers curled to hit my sweet spot.

But Kyle wasn’t going to let me control any part of how this went.

He pushed himself to the back of my throat, “I want you to think about all the fucked up, filthy shit we could do to you tonight,”

Stan increased the pressure he was using inside of me as his other hand switched between filming what was happening to my pussy and my lips wrapped around Kyle’s dick.

“Think about how we’re going to do a lot more than just stuffing you full with our cocks,” Kyle groaned as he started to fuck my face.

He grabbed a handful of my hair and my eyes rolled back as I held onto Kyle’s thighs and used them to brace myself.

I was honestly a little glad Kyle took over, because the way Stan was touching me, I couldn’t concentrate. If Stan has one strength it’s those fucking hands. The way he holds, squeezes, massages... All of it was on another level with this guy.

I fought hard to control my moans, Kyle was determined to make it even harder.

“I was controlling myself before but you should know,” He pulled my hair and his other hand dropped to roughly fondly my breast, “From the moment I first saw you, I wanted to fuck you until you couldn’t take it,”

Stan nipped at my other ear, “I think a few of the guys out there feel the same way. Some of them are about to start jacking off to you already,”

“She’s probably loving that,” Kyle turned his attention back to me and thrust hard against my throat, “Don’t worry, we’ll show them how worthless you really are,”

Kyle’s other hand slid over my cheek and he now had full control of my head, “Everyone’s watching,”

My hand ran up from Kyle’s thigh, over his stomach, and then up to his chest. It didn’t seem to phase him in the least. I tried to ignore the hushed voices around us and just focus on what they were doing to my body. Kyle wouldn’t let me.

“They’re here to see you get what’s coming to you,” He pulled on my hair and I winced, “You’ve earned this,”

Stan had won. My muscles tensed up, my nails dug into Kyle’s chest and I moaned deep onto his cock. I couldn’t believe they were making me come already but Stan’s movements in conjunction with Kyle’s words took me past the limit.

The wave of pleasure that crashed over me was fucking embarrassing. I put up a fight, we’d barely started and my pussy was already gripping Stan’s fingers like I needed them to live.

The vibrations from my shameful moans must have pushed Kyle to the edge because he groaned low and his cock started pumping salty, wet ribbons into my mouth. He never stopped thrusting, fucking his cum deep into my throat. I swallowed as much as I could, but I still felt some dripping down my chin. It didn’t help that Stan’s fingers were still fucking me and there was a goddamn iPhone shoved in my face.

Stan pulled his hand from me finally, but his wet fingers grabbed hold of my neck again. He looked at me like he was trying to figure something out. He gave my neck a small squeeze and let me go as he stood.

I looked up at Kyle, holding his cock in the warmth of my mouth, and when I caught his gaze the corner of his mouth curled up. His eyes were heavy lidded and as much as I could tell he was having fun playing with me, his serious, cool demeanor worried me a little.

Okay, it worried me a lot.

He pulled my hair a little as he kept his hold on me, “Don’t move,”

I should’ve been paying attention to Stan instead.

Stan turned to the growing crowd, “Who’s got a belt?”

I heard the sounds of people murmuring, talking, and speaking in other hushed tones. It really sounded like everyone who’d been in the house came around from the front to gawk at what they were doing to me. Then I heard multiple belts unbuckling. I glanced to the sides of me and looked like people crowded mostly at the sides of the deck to get a good look at Kyle’s dick in my mouth.

I found out later that Tolkien and Clyde both unbuckled, pulled the belts from their loops, and raised them in the air.

Stan looked between both of them and made a decision, “Tolkien,”

Tolkien smirked and pushed past a few people to get to the deck. Stan reached down over the deck and he handed him a dark leather belt.

Kyle withdrew from me and dropped his hand from my face, but his fist kept a strong hold on my hair.

Stan approached with the belt and I got a good look at it. It was long, but not very tall and looked pretty expensive.

He wrapped the belt around my neck and pushed the metal latch through the leather until it closed through the new makeshift hole.

I was collared.

Kyle smirked, “I’d say we cut off the excess but it could make a good leash,”

Kyle pulled my hair tight, "Open your mouth,"

I shook my head and Kyle grabbed my face with his other hand. He pushed his fingers into the tender flesh of my cheeks, harder and harder until I relented and my mouth opened.

He tilted my face up to him, leaned over me, and dropped a big glob of spit right into my mouth.

I swallowed and he finally let go of me completely.

Stan grabbed the front of my strapless dress and both of my hands clung to his wrist to stop him, but Kyle pounced onto my hands again ripping me off of him. It wasn’t fair, Kyle’s hands were so much bigger than mine and it seemed like he was always watching me.

Stan pulled the front of my dress down, exposing my bare breasts. He started fondling them and I noticed he was biting his lip.

He then pulled at the belt around my neck, “Take my dick out,”

“Fuck you,” I was defiant. Seriously, fuck this guy.

“This is–” Stan started.

“Fuck. You,” I reiterated.

Stan yanked hard on the makeshift leash around my neck, “You’re not fucking allowed to talk anymore,”

Stan made sure his phone was right in my face to capture every minute of this. I don’t know what he was about to say but I smacked his phone out of his hand and it fell into his lap. How’s that for not talking? Still got my message across.

He pulled on the belt until my ear was to his mouth, “This is exactly why we’re gonna break you tonight in front of everybody,”

He took his hand off the leash and slid his phone back into his pocket. Then he grabbed my wrist and dropped my hand on his lap.

Stan’s hard-on was practically fighting with his zipper. I unbuttoned, then unzipped him to pull down his pants and boxers. His cock sprang up immediately.

He wrapped the belt around his hand, tugged upwards a little, and I understood immediately. I pulled my knees up onto the chair and then he guided my face down to his dick.

I took him in my mouth and didn’t realize Kyle was behind me until he pulled my panties down. His fingers rubbed along my slit, pushed deep inside, pulled out, and slid to my clit. He started rubbing me in small circles and it reminded me of how I liked to use my tongue on him.

I tried not to moan as my head slowly bobbed on Stan’s dick. While making Stan come fast from added movement and vibrations would be fun, I didn’t want to give Kyle the satisfaction.

Kyle smacked my ass, hard. I still had a red mark there the next day. I should’ve known Kyle would immediately take advantage of me being ass up, face down.

“Is that the best you can do?” Kyle leaned over me as he rubbed his cock along my slit, “I thought she’d make a better fucktoy,”

Stan groaned and grabbed a fistful of my hair, “I wanted to keep going until she begged us to stop. She probably won’t even make a good fleshlight,”

“Let’s find out,” Kyle groaned as he squeezed inside of me.

I couldn’t stop myself from moaning onto Stan’s dick. My mouth started going faster too, it couldn’t be helped.

Kyle wasn’t gentle. He started pounding into my delicate, previously favored pussy like it was nothing to him. I was surprised. Kyle had fucked me before. It wasn’t anything like this. It felt insanely good.

Like 'I almost put my hand on my clit,' good. God, I wanted to come again. I had to wait because Stan pulled my leash and my hair.

His hips jumped and his dick slammed into the back of my throat. I gagged a little and I could feel Kyle throb at the sight of me struggling.

Stan groaned loudly and held my head down as he spilled his seed in my mouth, “Swallow. Every drop,”

I tried my best to do as instructed while Kyle continued to slam into me. I tried so hard to pretend that getting fucked by Kyle’s thick cock didn’t feel good, but even with him fucking me so carelessly, he was hitting my sweet spot so deliciously I was drooling right on Stan.

I wouldn’t be surprised if all the extra lubrication in conjunction with my uncontrollable moaning is what made him come so fast.

Once I’d swallowed everything Stan had to offer, he let go of the belt and my hair. I finally lifted my head off of him.

Kyle grabbed the leash and yanked me upwards until I was standing on my knees and my back was pressed against him.

“Her body feels good,” Kyle rubbed my breast, squeezed it hard then slid his hand down my body and landed on my clit, “It’s no wonder she’s such a slutty little brat,”

I was going to protest but he was rubbing me again and I wanted to come again more than anything. I would’ve sold my soul for an orgasm that instant and Kyle was throwing me headfirst into one.

“Let’s see if she’s still good enough to fill up,” He growled in my ear.

I shook my head, “You can’t come in me –“

He pulled on my collar, “I can do whatever I want,”

I whimpered as he pulled on my neck and the bliss I longed for was so close.

Kyle knew it, “Will you be a good girl and come for everyone?”

I started moaning louder, and I heard someone below us yell, “She’s coming again!”

Kyle was fucking me so intensely that I had almost forgotten there was an audience.

It didn’t matter. What mattered was all the warmth between my legs and the feeling in my core that was quickly spreading out to the rest of my body. It was so intense, I almost screamed. As I came, the delicate pocket between my legs Kyle was so intent on roughing up tightened around him until his cock was in a stranglehold.

His breath quickened even more and his hands slid back to my breasts, “Fuck,”

His hands palmed, and squeezed my breasts hard as his hips bucked up into me violently. His mouth dropped onto my shoulder and he fucking bit the fuck out of me as his cock pumped me full of hot, wet spurts.

Once he’d fully finished, Kyle pulled out of me and pushed me down. I landed right on Stan, my ass still in the air.

Kyle’s thumb traced my slit and pulled me open slightly, inspecting the damage and sticky mess he left inside of me.

He smirked, “You should try her pussy. I think she makes a great fleshlight,”

Stan grinned and pulled on the belt until I was straddling him, “I can tell. That bite’s gnarly,”

“I wanted to mark her,” Kyle shrugged as he stroked himself.

Stan watched me eagerly as I slid my slit over the head of his dick, “Let’s see if you’re worth anything after all,”

He pushed down on my hips and I whined as I sank down on him.

I held onto his shoulders as I started rocking my hips. He was impatient. His hands guided my hips harder, faster, harder.

I did one of my favorite moves, rolling my hips, and I listened to him groan so deep I thought he might drool.

“Shit, you actually feel fucking good,” He groaned.

I arched my back as I rode him and watched his face contort in pleasure. I was intent on regaining control. Unfortunately, Stan’s hand dipped between us and started massaging my clit. I was already sensitive and overstimulated from having three orgasms, I couldn’t concentrate.

The fact that I was riding him just the way I liked and it was Stan’s perfect fucking hand touching me had pushed me over the edge.

My head lolled back as I felt the pleasure overtake me.

Stan yanked the leash again, “Keep your eyes on me,”

I whimpered like a dumb bitch and obeyed. The way I was coming I would’ve done anything he asked of me.

He held the belt tightly and watched my face as I came. My eyes rolled back, my mouth dropped open, and a loud shuddering moan poured out of me.

I wasn’t alone. Stan was just as loud as my silky walls fastened up around him and gripped him possessively.

I gasped for air after my body had betrayed me.

Kyle grabbed the belt and pulled me towards him, as Stan panted and gathered himself.

I stood on my knees and Kyle’s hands both went straight for my breasts. He squeezed them and then his thumbs swept my nipples. He pinched and pulled them and I saw his cock twitch as he listened to me whimper and whine.

I barely noticed Stan on his knees behind me until he pushed my shoulders forward and rubbed his hand up from my dripping slit to my ass, spreading around the wet, sticky mix of slick and cum.

Kyle glanced over at him, “Do you think she’s ready?”

Stan pushed the tip of his dick against my ass, “I think we can make it work, yeah,”

I tried to turn back to him, I was going to beg him to be gentle but Kyle grabbed the belt again and kept me in place.

I gasped and squirmed as Stan pushed into me.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled my back up against him. Then his arm dropped to lift my leg, giving Kyle full access to my core.

Kyle slid the head of his cock along my slit and quickly shoved his entire manhood inside my anticipating pussy.

I trembled and whimpered. It was all I could do. I couldn’t even move. I’d never done anal before, let alone had two guys with good dicks jammed in me at the same time.

Kyle slid his palm under my chin and grabbed my face, “What happened to the bratty little girl who was fighting so hard?”

I didn’t know what to say. I could feel Stan’s hips start to move in long deep strokes. I was so frustrated that I tried to fight back tears but they welled up in my eyes anyway.

Kyle’s lips slid into a smile and he kissed me. He pushed his tongue in my mouth and he started shifting into me.

Kyle only got more feral as he went on. God, the way his cock firmly thrust into me, the way his tongue moved against mine, where was that when we were dating? Was he really holding back like he said?

Stan’s hand slid from my shoulder to my breast. He alternated between roughly caressing, squeezing and palming me.

All I could do was lean against Stan and accept the sensations they were giving in abundance. My head lolled back onto Stan’s shoulder, but it didn’t stop Kyle. He leaned over me, still holding onto my face, and kept his mouth on mine as he drove his cock into me.

God, I’ll never forget the feeling of his tongue over mine, and his fingers pushing into my soft cheeks, and his body pressed against mine. He was pushing me against Stan without any daylight between the three of us, as his hips thrust into me. Stan shamelessly fondled me as he fucked me. He pushed a loud, shaking moan in my ear, finally admitting how much he enjoyed me.

I came first. I was so overwhelmed I didn’t even try to stop it or hold it off. My whole body trembled and I moaned embarrassingly loud. I thought they might’ve heard me on the next block. My back arched and Stan gasped in my ear. Kyle’s breath quickened as he felt it. Every muscle in my body seized and I couldn’t move.

Stan’s hips jerked abruptly into me and he made the most needy, pathetic noise as his dick spit his hot, wet seed deep inside of me.

He squeezed my breast and his forehead dropped onto my shoulder. I could feel his hot breath panting on my skin.

Kyle took a little longer, but he got there. He groaned and growled in my mouth and his hips bucked up into me violently. He held himself in as deep as he could and his mouth hungrily moved on mine as his cock pulsed intensely and pumped me full of sticky pearlescent spurts.

We panted in each other’s mouths for awhile and I heard murmuring from the crowd. The crowd. Fuck. I still couldn’t think about it.

They both withdrew from me and I collapsed on the lounge chair. My whole body was weak and everything between my thighs was unbearably wet, sticky and tingling with pins and needles from the over stimulation. I was so exhausted and used up that I couldn’t speak if I wanted to.

Stan looked me over but I couldn’t read his expression, “What should we do with her now?”

Kyle turned to the crowd staring at us in the backyard, “Who else wants a turn?”

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

can you do south park sleepy hcs ? like how they sleep at night or if they take naps lol (core four and maybe craig's gang as well?)

thank you : )

—❢—

×A/N×

Omg I absolutely love this idea!! 💕

And I had a great with writing this as well-

-w-

So thanks Anon! ✨💕

×❢ About my work ❢×

basically just cuddles, sleeps and naps with them :3, awful joke, fluff fluff FLUFF, they all aged up, the reader is in a relationship with them, some Creek, they are adorable, kisses, cuddles, short, cute petnames, probably some spelling mistakes as well •v•", any gender can read this i think, oh wait- Tolkien calls the reader princess once- but that's all I promise

Fandom: South Park

Character(s): Eric Cartman, Kenny McCormick, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Clyde Donovan, Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, Tolkien Black, Jimmy Valmer and Sparky :3

Ship(s): some Creek + the characters/reader

—❢—

𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐲 𝐒𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 :𝟑

𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈: Coffee Breath by Sofia Mills

“You've got those big blue eyes

Drive me crazy

Make me fantasize 'bout you baby

And you smell so sweet

Like fresh-picked daisies

Call me Dahmer 'cuz your hearts so tasty”

★ Eric Cartman ★

• first you would think that he is lazy again

• but no

• he is now really sleepy

• he is a jerk with everyone as always

• but sometimes he simply doesn't respond back to guilty comments

• he is quiet for the whole day

• and he likes to be left alone

• "Eric?" you spoke softly. "Are you okay?"

"Leave me alone, Y/N."

• he isn't that active

• you thougt he was sick

• but there was nothing what could tell he would be sick• so you calmed down a little bit

• "Y/N..." he lies down next to you. "I'm so tired..."You smile at him softly as you start to cuddle with him.

• when you guys nappin

• he likes to watch the TV while he rest his head in your laps and you playing with his hair

★ Stan Marsh ★

• when you two are nappig

• you usally resting on his chest

• you hear every beat of his heart

• it's so relaxing

• he moves closer to you

• and gives little kiss on your hair

• the whole room is quiet

• you can just hear the music from his phone, his heartbeat and Sparky's snuffle

• sometimes you reach down to pat Sparky

• Stan usally locks his door• first, because of his sister

• second, because of his parents

• yes, Mrs. Marsh is very sweet with you

• but no one will disturb yours and Stan's nap! >:3

★ Kenny McCormick ★

• you guys usally napping outside

• because he says the grass is cozier than his bed •—•

• and anyway

• you guys do a bit different things in his bed ;)

• the position:

• he rests on your chest, the legs spread while he is between them (don't worry, there will just fluffy things- :3)

• or when it's hot outside (but definitely not hotter than him!)

• he takes down his jacket (what is rare)

• and you guys rest on it, next to each other while you holding hands

• sometimes he leans closer and gives kisses on your neck while you are giggling

• what he loves, because your voice is like music to him

• "Babe?" you ask while you are giggling. "What are you doing?" "Me? Oh, nothing." he asnwers with a sly smile on his face as he gives more kisses.

• you two just simply resting a bit

• or quietly talking about some random things

★ Kyle Broflovski ★

• he will be definetly awake

• while you are resting next to him

• like he would protecting you from something

• he is just like Stan

• locks his door

• nobody will disturb you two while UnU

• he is the most emotional of his friends

• he gently holds your hips with his hands

• while he listens your heartbeat

• and sees how beautiful you are while your eyes are closed

• you look like an angel to him

• he gets sleepy as well

• he snuggles closer to you

• closes his eyes

• and slowly falls asleep with you

★ Craig Tucker ★

[Creek version]

• Tweek has ADHD

• so he falls asleep more difficultly

• as napping or just taking a little break• they're cuddling

• Craig's head resting in Tweek's laps or on his shoulder

• while Tweek gets more flustrated everytime

• when Tweek gets a little bit sleepy

• Craig makes for him coffee

• CUDDLES CUDDLES CUDDLES!

• they are really close to each other

• sharing one warm blanket

• while Craig's sometimes gives some kisses on Tweek's cheek or forehead

• Tweek can't sleep that easily, so everytime when he wokes up

• Craig looks at him

• and the first question is:

• "Dear? Are you okay?" he asks softly. Tweek nods as he lies down again while he snuggles closer to Craig.

• he is so attentive about his boyfriend 💕💕

[Non Creek version]

• as napping

• while you sitting on the couch

• he just lies down and rests his head on your laps while he is surfing the net on his phone

• you smile, knowing what you should do

• you gently start to play with his hair

• but when YOU get sleepy

• I can imagine that he carries you to the bedroom

• he makes your bed for you

• he covers you with the blanket

• and before he leaves he gives you a kiss on your forehead

★ Clyde Donovan ★

• he will definitely ask

• "Y/N?" he looks at you with a confused look. "Are you tired?"

• you look like you are almost dead

• and he is asking that are you tired-

• btw he is so sweet with you tho

• he will make you some coffee, chocolate, tea or anything you want

• grab a warm blanket

• sits down next to you and covers you and himself with it

• you snuggles closer to him

• and you guys watching some netflix until you fall asleep

★ Jimmy Valmer ★

• he knows that you are already tired

• but he will definitely mess with you with his jokes

• especially the awful ones

• "What do you call a fish with no eyes?" he asks as he smiles at you evily. Your suffering definitely makes him feel better.

"I don't know." you said these 3 words again for about the fifth time.

"A fsh."

You slams your head into the table.

• you sigh tiredly as you puts your head down on the table

• he finally leaves you alone with his jokes• he can't carry you

• but he will definitely helps you with that he makes your bed

• after you lied down

• he will give you a kiss on your nose

• or on your forehead

★ Tolkien Black ★

• he is the most gentliest

• "Aww, baby... You did a lot of work today, and I'm proud of you, but try to rest now, alright, princess?"

• he will care you into the bedroom

• before you asleep

• you two will definitely cuddle

• he will give you kisses while you are resting next to him

• he won't leave you while you fell asleep

• he will be there with you all the time

[alottodix]

if South Park was British (lmao) what would the main fours’ favourite insults be. I can so vividly imagine Kyle calling someone a pillock or a knobhead its so funny. I think Cartman

OHHHHH ANON HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

Okay, so. First, Stan Marsh. He’d definitely be more fond of the blunt ones, the ones that are so simple they’re reflexive for most of the nation – tosser, prick, twat, all of those fun ones. HOWEVER, I also see him having an awesome time with “bloody hell” to portray how fucking fed up he is, like when he does the pinch bridge of nose + look down + very defeated “Jesus Christ” combo in the show. I ALSO IMAGINE HIM BEING SUPER FOND OF HOW BLUNT STUFF LIKE “sod off” IS TO TELL PEOPLE TO LIVE HIM ALONE OR EVEN JUST TO REACT TO DUMB SHIT LIKE THE LITTLE CYNIC HE IS

Now, onto Kyle. Every single time I see the Jersey episode, I mentally have to compare the reality TV show element to shit like Geordie Shore, so if it was a show based in the UK I can only imagine him being Geordie – proper Ant and Dec style. Americans, if you haven’t already, go listen to the accent and tell me it doesn’t have Kyle vibes – it just does. SO, WITH THIS IN MIND, I can totally imagine him whipping out gobshite as an insult, or what a load of bollocks in response to Cartman being an asshole, fun clipped shit like that. There was also a moment of time where I sat down and started plotting a Hogwarts AU, in which I realised I’d have to make these guys vaguely British, and I had such a strong mental image of Kyle jokingly calling Stan a daft git so I feel like he’d love the ones like that – and I agree with anon I think he’d have a lot of fun with knobhead

I feel Kenny would enjoy basically all of them, but for the sake of this dude being muffled as fuck I think he’d get a real kick out of the backwards peace sign – like whenever possible. Also “get stuffed”, for vibes. LISTEN I FEEL I SHOULD BE MORE SCIENTIFIC IN MY METHODS BUT LEAVE ME ALONE LMAO WE GO OFF VIBES HERE

Now, when I think of a British Cartman, I can only imagine a younger Del Boy from ‘Only Fools & Horses’. This is both a blessing and a curse. It’s the shared entrepreneurial spirit and lack of dignity I think. Also the fur coats. And con-artist swagger. And also how well Del Boy takes the piss out of Rodney – if you were to replace Rodney with Butters or Kenny in their search for wealth; this is such a niche reference but somebody reading this is gonna be so fucking happy with it. Because of this, I can only imagine him with the strongest cockney accent known to man, and so, a list of ones I feel he would use:

“Berk”

“Muppet”

“You jammy prick”

“Bleedin’ hell”

“You daft cow”

“Shut your cakehole”

“He’s a right tosser”

“You bleeding mug”

“Wazzock”

Also unrelated but with this guy being the gayest homophobe around, he’d totally be one of those guys to call everyone “babes” (the mental image is making me cackle, he fucking would don’t lie)

ANYWAY LMAO FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS, THANK YOU ANON – THIS WAS INCREDIBLY FUN TO DO, I APOLOGISE FHDKFN

[kenlvry]

omg can I ask the first time the boys meet the reader they were beat up by the reader for insulting something (e.g their cat or something) or they made a crude joke? Basically almost like Annie Leonhart and stuff xjsjdjjs

beating up the boys

an; helloooo, anyways i was skimming through my requests and found this, love the concept and cute pic, i screenshotted it hihi, hope you like this! everyone is aged up, 17-18 in craigs you didnt beat him up but yeaaa just read

kenny mccormick

when he first met you , kyle brought you over to stans house where you all hung out. the other two didn't seem bothered by your presence and he asked who you were , kyle introduced you saying you knew tips on the game they were about to play, kenny thought you were attractive and complemented you "damn you got fine ass" kenny blurted that out smirking, the other three knew how you were and you didn't like the perverted comment he made, you straight up slapped him, bro he was shook. no girl ever reacted that way, they always blushed, he was determined that next time you'd blush at him. so he spent weeks flirting with you and by now he realize he got a fat crush on you and just know the flirtings are way more intense.

stan marsh

kenny brought the others to your house because you had a pool and asked if he and the other can play in it, you agreed having known kenny a while now and wanting to meet his other friends. they all came over and greeted you, you were homeschooled so you didn't have that many friends. while they were admiring your house your sphynx cat came over and meowed demanding you feed him, cartman had a cat of his own so he didn't care and kyle wasn't the type to judge a cat, stan however was disgusted, man he made the most foul faces "ew what is that its so ugly why doesn't it have fur?!!" you stopped your tracks and stared at him, kenny knew how defensive you were abt your cat "omg stan say sorry" before stan could reply a hit was blown to his face, you punched him. "get the fuck out and don't even think about swimming in my pool bitch" stan ran away and wanted to say sorry but everytime he saw you at the parks you flipped him off, he tried everything. by the time he bought you flowers just to make you forgive him, he knew he was inlove. the next time he saw you he was all nervous and looked like he was about to puke.

kyle brofloski

the four of them were out at the mall looking for things to do when you bumped into them, he remembered you because last week you came over to stans house to hang out, kyle was supposed to be there but he got sick. the other three greeted you knowing you for a while now after the meet up, kyle introduced himself to you and apologized for not showing up. he then ask what you four were playing at stans house "oh dude you shouldve come over we all played wrestling and y/n kicked ass" kyle laughed, "damn your all weak af, shes a girl her punches mustve been weak" in a desperate attempt to get closer to you he blurted out the most overused misogynistic joke ever "oh shit i didn't mea-" he felt his cheek sting and realized you had punched him "weak? dont make me laugh" you walked off, the next day he tried everything to get your attention and say sorry, you ignored him and he was in tears bro, he would 'unintentionally' bump into you, would try to help you with homework everything bro. in class while he was staring at you thinking about tactics and he realized how pretty you were. he started blushing like crazy, you now realize how kyle doesn't come and beg you to forgive him rather he stares at you from afar and whenever you made eyecontact he'd look away all smiley

eric cartman

bro is foul, when he first met you he made the most misogynistic joke ever like he cracked so many jokes without even looking at your death face. you just stared at him while he was calling you the other words for female. he realized it was silent and looked over at kyle stan and kenny who was dead silent and nervously looking at the floor "why aren't you laughing?? you know i make good jokes" and then before he could make another sexist joke you kicked him in his nuts, and punched him "fuck you asshole lets see you try making kids 6 years from now" you walk away and stopped "if anyone even wants you that is" you continued, bro the other three broke out laughing you were foul for that 😭😭. cartman wasn't happy, everytime he saw you at school he'd glare and make sexist jokes that were loud so you can here but everytime you stared back he'd stop. he tried everything to get your attention, even at lunch all he talks about is you "shut the fuck up fatass, at this point you might as well make her your girlfriend" cartman was offended but the more he thought about it the more right kyle was. damn, he is lovestruck, no girl has ever did that to him. so now he tries being closer to you, you were friends and you didnt want to be close friends but cartman was desperate, hmmm you wonder why...?

craig tucker

like always he flips everyone off so it was no different when he first met you, you greeted him so nicely but you just get a middle finger "dude what the hell is wrong with you, fucking jerk go stick your middle finger somewhere else" craig was a little shocked you actually fought back, usually people just get offended and stayed silent. "I'll stick it up your moms ass" he said proudly, he thought he was funny for that but you looked sad and your eyes were glassy you ran away wiping your tears discreetly "dude what the hell her mom died 5 days ago, thats the whole reason she came here" kyle said, everyone knew because they greeted you when you first moved in. craig felt so bad, when he saw you in class he tried talking to you but you flipped him off, he took it as a note you were not in the mood of talking, during lunch he tried talking to you again but you flipped him off again!! now he knew what other people felt fr, its been a week now and you don't know how many times you've flipped Craig off now, people started calling you Craig's long lost twin. craig was going crazy over you, he would look at you during class, find time to talk to you and even planning to go to your house just so he can apologize. "craig, stop staring at y/n, just go confess already" Craig got sent back to reality by cartman, and he was right maybe he should go confess. he knew what he felt for you wasn't just because he wanted to say sorry but because he liked you. this Friday he'll both apologize and confess, bro already bought the flowers and everything , you better be ready to be titled as craigs girlfriend

[allnaturalapplejuice]

New South Park season will most likely be dropping during election season and this is what I think is gonna happen except I know that none of this actually will happen so really this is what I would do if I was in charge of writing the season.

Obviously this season is gonna have a major focus on the election and will likely be serialized; however, seeing how poorly that went for South Park the last time they were airing regular episodes during an election year in 2016 they have to completely shift gears in order to make this work.

Obviously there's gonna be a plotline following

Mr Garrison and some of the other adults but guess what:

1. That's exactly what they did in 2016 that caused them to have one of their worst rated seasons.

2. I personally don't care about the adults so they are not included in this pitch

So what I think should happen is that the election is paralleled and told via a student body election. Sure, let Mr Garrison and the adults have their real election, but keep it super light and unserious. Something like "About Last Night." (12.12), which is the best election episode and in my opinion, one of their best episodes which it manages to be without focusing on the kids too much or even Randy or any of the main adults.

Anyways, the overarching plot follows Cartman and Wendy's battle for student body president with Cartman of course parodying Trump and Wendy parodying Kamala because everytime I see stuff about Trump talking about Kamala specifically him claiming that she's too afraid to debate him-it reminds me of “The Breast Cancer Show Ever" (12.09) and Cartman and Wendy's fight in that.

Butters would 100% be RFK Jr. and lowkey have his own thing going on where he slowly goes nuts.

Kyle is, as he always is, very vocally anti-Cartman and he is the one to start calling out Cartman as being "weird" which makes

Carman soooo upset and paralleling the real world, Wendy sees this and picks Kyle to be her running mate.

Ok so we've got:

• Cartman as Donald Trump

• Wendy as Kamala Harris

• Butters as RFK Jr.

• Kyle as Tim Walz

Now you’re gonna have to hear me out on this one…

Stan as JD Vance

HEAR ME OUT. Stan gets jealous because he thought Wendy might pick him to be her running mate and feels like his best friend is stealing his gf and his gf is stealing his best friend and there is underlying subtext there but it’s never actually acknowledged. Anyways, in a “Follow That Egg” (09.10)-esque plotline, we see what we should have seen in Snow Day and Stan betrays Kyle and Wendy to side with Cartman. But also because he acted rash and only did it out of revenge, he’s totally in over his head and is an idiot onstage saying nonsense and Cartman slowly regrets his decision, in tandem with the real JD Vance. This way, all of the main 6 characters play important student body election roles except Kenny but when have the writers literally ever given a shit about Kenny?

Kenny shows up a few times as a background character or maybe somehow gets involved with the real US election or is just fully dead for another season.

So who wins?

Because it’s South Park and they can do this, whoever actually wins the election is who wins the student body election, so if it’s the republicans Stan and Cartman win and if it’s the Democrats, Kyle and Wendy wins.

But in the end the true adult election plotline and the student body president election are intertwined and Mr Garrison does some sort of “I learned something today”-esque speech about his boyfriend, and no matter what, Stan goes and apologizes to Kyle and Wendy and regardless of who wins, everyone declares that Cartman is weird.

[tiniedemon]

— ♡

with an insecure s/o headcanons

main 3 + butters

— ♡

stan

— doesn’t really understand why you’d be insecure but does his best to comfort you anyways

— all about body worship and hyping you up

— always commenting super sappy stuff on your posts

— “my s/o is quite literally the most perfect person on planet earth & i will die on this hill”

— will gladly lend you his clothes if they’re big on you & you wanna hide your body

— loves loves loves kissing all over all your “flaws” & telling you how much he loves them

— always gets super upset when you talk down on yourself

— “baby no you’re so amazing! why would say that about yourself?”

— feels like you’re dissing him too when you hate on yourself

kyle

— is genuinely so confused

— he’s a logical guy, thinks with facts

— if he doesn’t see something genuinely gross he doesn’t understand where there would be a problem

— gives you the dumbest look ever when you tell him the first time

— “but why though? you’re perfect the way you are.”

— he’s super sweet once he realizes you genuinely don’t like these things about yourself

— then he’s showing you pictures of sculptures of the greek gods

— specifically aphrodite

— “i don’t know why you’d hate yourself when this is the beauty standard for a literal goddess.”

— also lets you wear his clothes because it’s a confidence boost

— and because you look so damn good in them

— consistently telling you how beautiful you are

— doesn’t really know how to help when you’re crying about it but he’ll try his hardest

— also big into body worship bc you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on

kenny

— also doesn’t understand

— he wouldn’t call you pretty if he thought you were ugly so why do you think you’re ugly?

— constantly groping you and showing love to the spots you’re insecure about

— actually cries when you tell him everything you hate about yourself

— “i just don’t understand. you’re so perfect” *sobbing profusely*

— his sweet nothings consist of telling you everything he loves about you

— practically throws himself at you every chance he gets

— wants you to feel desirable and loved every second of every day

— “baby you’re making me weak in the knees right now” “i’m literally just breathing” “exactly you’re so pretty when you breathe 🥹”

— listens to everything you say even tho it hurts him that you feel this way

— doesn’t really know how to give advice but gladly offers a shoulder to cry on and uplifts you every chance he gets

butters

— by far the sweetest

— but also the most savage

— “bitch with an ass like that you better feel perfect”

— “wait but don’t cry i think you’re perfect just like this”

— frantically googles how to make his s/o feel better about themselves

— follows the wikihow article to a t and is surprised when it doesn’t work

— gifts you love letters about how perfect you are

— leaves post it reminders on your mirror to be a little nicer to yourself

— “you cut so much slack for everyone else, why not for yourself?”

— surprisingly gives the most advice of them all

— “pick one thing about yourself to work on loving for this week and i’ll help you”

— he’s so panicked when you’re crying that he just ends up bawling too

— but he still hugs you so that’s a plus

— every time you tell him something you don’t dislike about yourself he gives you his perspective

— his life goal is to make you love yourself as much as he does

[4awny]

Sp Driving Headcanons that literally nobody asked for

Stan:-

first one to get his licence obvs

usually a calm and defensive driver

gets a scratch on his car and says aw man my dad's gonna kill me

even when he's 30

drives drunk probably

car is a mess. shit everywhere

overall? man can drive. 8/10

Kenny:-

doesn't have licence. couldn't afford that shit

drives anyway

and it's his brother's piece of shit car

can't park for shit, usually just hopes for the best

has a bunch of naughty bumper stickers for sure

can fix his own car

something always broken

huge dent on the side. "jeez man, how did that get there?"

knowing full well it was a hit and run

felt bad so left a note on the dude's car: hit your car but I'm broke and dont have a licence. my bad sorry. hope you get it fixed

somehow never gets pulled over

overall, dude shouldn't even be on the road. 1/10

Kyle:-

suspect to road rage. man's got issues

hates traffic with a white hot passion

no one is allowed to eat in his car... ever.

cartman is the only one that ignores this rule and is constantly hiding wrappers in random places to annoy him

it annoys him

has run a red light on more than a few occasions

got caught speeding. argued his way out of it. thanks dad

overall, a decent driver but mf needs to chill. 7/10

Cartman:-

hates slow drivers

will happily park in disabled spots

and will say "not every disability is visible!"

and then actually gets offended when someone calls him out for doing it

usually kyle

the type of asshole to say "someone better have died for this" when driving past a collision that got him stuck on the highway for 2 hours

tailgates people for fun

hates being tailgated

gets cut off. follows them for 20 mins just to call them a useless cunt

1 ticket away from losing his licence

overall? 4/10. enuff said

Butters:-

taps the wheel along to songs

sings a lot

sometimes oblivious to road signs

because he's usually looking at the scenery around him

drives 10mph under the speed limit

just to be safe

always offers to drive the guys

the guys: 😒😒😒😒

overall, 6/10. score would be higher if the singing stopped

Craig:-

finds driving a chore

but also likes having his own transport so he can bail anytime he wants

like that one time clyde surprised him with a huge birthday party. but that's another story

parks at the back of the parking lot

then regrets it when it rains

never gets to play his own music, because whoever's in the front is in charge of the bluetooth. it's always clyde

mf always giving lifts to people

for free too

always questions himself why he does it

overall, dude deserves a medal for putting up with so much shit. 10/10

Clyde:-

never drives. simple as that

thank fuck for craig and drive thrus, huh

overall, the leech gets a solid 0/10 and that's being generous

Tweek:-

6 failed attempts before he eventually passed

thought he was cursed

turns out he cant drive for shit

only drives to places he's familiar with

so basically a 3 mile radius from his house

drives in silence. man cannot concentrate

tells people to shut up if they are talking to him when he's driving

like I said, man cannot concentrate

overall? I mean, at least he tries. 5/10 for effort

Tolkien:-

listens to the same radio station

pretty observant. can see the accident before it even happens

the most sensible driver out of everyone

somehow never gets asked to drive tho

takes advantage of that

always offers to pay for gas

is the only one that does

overall, a great driver. 9/10. wd buddy

[vctrvn-ls]

I love you too? |Kenny|

summary: you and Kenny get into a heated argument after which you try and take the first step to make peace

warnings: angst, language

wordcount: 1.35k

"What the fuck is this?!" You heard Kenny call out from the living room.

"What!?" You shouted back, not thinking much of it, continuing to cut the watermelon for the fruit salad you were making. A series of footsteps quickly revealed Kenny who was glued to his phone with furrowed eyebrows.

"What?" You take a piece of watermelon and put it in your mouth "What is it?" You chew.

Kenny walks up to you shoving his phone up close to your face. You squint trying to see the image in front of you. It was you from yesterdays shoot, kissing Filly on the cheek as he smiled into the camera. Your eyes widened as you looked up at Kenny "And?"

"You- Look- Ah fuck," he goes back to his phone for a second before showing it again "Look at the caption."

You saw it was Twitter. Already not a good sign. And as you predicted, your mouth fell open as you finished reading the sentence:

"Damn. That's what happens when Kenny's not on the one shoot."

You look back up at Kenny and raise an eyebrow "What the hell are you doing listening to dumbass Twitter-people?" You go back to cutting the fruits, seeing as this wasn't a thing to worry about.

"This isn't the only one. That's firstly. Secondly there's rumors now that we're broken up and thirdly what the hell are you doing going around kissing other guys when you have a boyfriend?"

You were in so much shock that you had to put down your knife and lean on the counter, processing what the fuck had just been said to you.

"Fuck. You." You simply state. "That's to begin with. Also what the fuck Kenny!? It wasn't guys it was one and it's fucking Filly, now please for Christ sake tell me you're pranking me right now because you are not going to stand here and pretend like you're bothered by this." You look at him, trying to read him and his emotions, although it was quite clear that he was in fact mad.

"Yeah well they don't know that it's just Filly. And just because it's Filly, gives you no right to get all up in his face."

"Kenny you need to take a break." You chuckle dryly turning back to the cutting board.

"No the hell I don't," he pushes your shoulder, turning you around to face him.

"It's a few comments Kenny, for fucks sake just leave it alone!"

"Oh yeah? You know what else started as 'a few comments'? Hm? Our secret relationship."

You roll your eyes "We were going to reveal it anyways right?"

"I don't care."

"Ok? What am I supposed to do?"

"Definitely don't do THAT!" He held up his phone with the photo.

You cover your face with the palms of your hands and groan, still stunned that this was actually happening "Kenny its fucking Filly! You look so dumb right now I wish you knew!"

"I KNOW I LOOK DUMB! I LOOK DUMBER NOW!" He lashed out, voice booming through the whole house "It's all anyone fucking talks about. Oh Kenny's stupid. No one likes Kenny. Why is Kenny even here? Let's make an article about how everyone in the Squad hates Kenny." He mocked the comments from the internet. "Now fucking this? I just- I'm gonna- Ah fuck." He turns around and just leaves. This guy leaves! You hear him stomp up the stairs and slam your bedroom door, leaving you speechless.

You blink a few times still digesting the very emotional information that was thrown at you and decide to take a seat in the living room. You wanted to be mad, you really did, but there was just this one thing that really caught your attention. It was how focused he was on the internet's opinion, which with the jobs both of you had was a little alarming.

After a little more thinking you came to a conclusion that insecurity was what drove this whole thing in the first place. Understandable, you didn't blame him, but it was sad because how can such a special and amazing person be insecure?

It sounded absurd!

Especially with his talent, friends and status.

You felt bad for Kenny, and you could totally relate to his lack of confidence because everyone feels unsteady from time to time and with enough love and words it could easily be beaten.

As much as you wanted to go up to him and provide the comfort he so definitely needed, you couldn't stop feeling hurt by some of his words. You sigh throwing your head back against the couch.

"Fuck." You whisper, feeling the two halves of you battling inside.

You hated fighting.

It was so stressful and unnecessary, and that's exactly why you decided that you needed to go talk to Kenny. You finished cutting all the fruits, laid some out on a bowl, got a spoon and headed upstairs to Kenny.

As you got closer to the bedroom door you felt your stomach twisting into a knot. What if he tells you to fuck off? What if he doesn't want to see you at all after this? What if you break up and then you'd have toshowuponshootsanditwoukdbesoawkward!

Your mind was overthinking the future and leaving you standing right outside the door with a bowl of fruit in your hands feeling like the last idiot on the planet. It really took all of your courage to bring your knuckles up to the door and knock. Even though there was no response, you slowly opened the door and peeped in, seeing Kenny on the bed. You sighed noticing his frowned eyebrows as he scrolled through his phone.

"Kenny," you slowly sat down on the other side of the bed, not taking your eyes off of him. He didn't even look at you.

You fought your intrusive thoughts that were saying to just throw the bowl of fruit at his face and call him a dickhead.

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't think that things would spiral into something like that."

"Of course you didn't." He mumbled.

"Oh fuck you!" You exclaimed "Maybe you wouldn't be so fucking bothered if you grew a pair!"

His expression turned from angry to shocked real quick.

"What were you born fucking yesterday? It's the internet! I've seen shit way more fucked up than tweets from tenyearolds and I'm sure you have too, so stop acting like no one loves you because everyone does. Especially me and for you to even question my loyalty is so hurtful not only to me but also to you."

Kenny was at a loss for words. On one side you just insulted him, but on the other you just said you loved him and there's wasn't anything he could say. He stared at you with wide eyes as you tried to catch your breathe from all the talking.

"Uuuhhh...." He turned off his phone and put it in his pocket, turning to you and crossing his legs "I love you too?"

There was a small pause before the two of you broke out into a series of giggles, suddenly everything was ridiculously absurd and pointless. Without words both of you agreed that this fight wasn't worth the energy.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to like- I was-" Kenny groaned in annoyance as he struggled to explain "I just felt like-"

"Insecure?" You guessed.

"Yeah...That." He scratched the back of his head feeling a little uneasy at such a strong word.

"I get it." You sigh "Peace?" You hold up the bowl of fruit with a grin.

Kenny chuckles and nods "Peace." He takes the bowl.

"And it's fair of you to get jealous of me kissing Filly."

"Jealous?" Kenny chewed with a raised eyebrow "I wasn't jealous."

"Uhuh, yeah." You smirk at him.

"Wha- Nah. I was mad," he tries to hide his smile. You roll your eyes and scooch over next to him, bringing his head down and placing your lips onto his.

"Mmm, pineapple." You noded jokingly, pretending to chew.

"Stop," he giggles nudging you.

[everythingwasnormalhere]

tbh i see the south park kids as having the weirdest (friend group) family tree just because sm of my friend groups have one and its fun ok

it all started with clyde jokingly going "my dads! 🥺" at craig and tweek

they were "o-o tf" but soon jimmy went like

"if they're the dads i wanna be the cool uncle"

token obviously tagged along

"if you're the cool uncle what would i be?"

"obviously the rich aunt"

they made a lot of family lore that day

part of it being that jimmy and timmy were the uncle and his friend who aren't together but have a weirdly vaguely homoerotic relationship (def not inspired by jimbo and ned)

since this clyde calls craig and tweek "dad" randomly

(mainly craig because he knows it annoys him so bad)

anyway cryde were hanging out at craig's one day and clyde did that

and tricia heard so she understandably asked tf was that about-

so clyde told her the whole family tree lore XD

tricia like ":o I WANNA BE LA TÍA CHISMOSA"

craig translates and clyde's all "omg slayy"

after this tricia eventually hangs out with TaTI and tells them about this whole thing

karen's excited XD she's the lesbian aunt :3

eventually tricia and karen adopt ike and firkle

they agree they're twins, and firkle proclaims himself as "the family's dissapointment" 😭

firkle convinces the other goths to join too

they're those guys who nobody's sure where in the family they are but they show up to every family gathering so everyone assumes they are somewhere

on the other side craig told kenny about the whole thing (because they talk about everything)

kenny decided he'd be craig's sibling + that one uncle who's in jail more often than not

then kenny to keep the family tree going pulls a clyde and straight-up asks kyle and stan

"hey guys wanna adopt me?"

they're so weirded out,, more taking into account they aren't even dating,,,

but kenny manages to convince them

cartman is decided by stan kenny and butters to be kyle's sibling

cartman and kyle are So against that

butters and kenny adopt dougie btw :3

at some point the girls find out about the tree too

the guys suspect it was clyde but tbh? who knows

there's lots of lore on their side too

stan was wendy's first marriage and they had red

but it was a shitty loveless marriage so wendy divorced him and married bebe

(just because they're the co-leaders of the cheer team ok)

in that marriage they had heidi and nichole :)

at some point it's clear everyone's somehow part of that dumb craig's gang supposedly internal joke 😭

since nobody agreed on anything though, it's a fucking mess,,,

clyde is the one in charge of drawing it to make things clear for everyone (because he's who started that madness)

so you just see all the kids in class all around clyde who's writing on a sheet of paper in the verge of a breakdown 😭

[caillousweave]

welcome to pointing out things in South Park: The Fractured But Whole's character sheets that everyone missed for some reason, despite being hilarious and also making sense

Kyle's weakness is "mom", because he is very scared of his mom

also "kite theologist" isn't a religion but I'll give him points for creativity and staying on topic, also theology is the study of religion, so it makes sense at least (unlike some others)

Craig's power source is love, but his weakness is communication. I feel like that's gonna cause some problems (oh wait, it did)

also "way of the fist" fits him and his character, but it's also not a religion

.

I love scott

but

insulin

is not a religion

Kenny's weakness being "poverty" is actually amazing

also while "fatalism" isn't a religion (it's an ideology), I believe it fits him really well and his arc. Fatalism is the belief that basically "it is what it is", the thought that we have no free will, and things just happen

I think it fits well since during the Coon vs. Coon and Friends arc, I believe it shows Kenny sort of.. accepting his immortality. Also most of Kenny's deaths have been completely coincidental so it makes sense that he feels like he has no control over his life.

anyways I really love Kenny

the only thing that can stop Professor Chaos

is getting grounded

also entropy isn't a religion, but because it literally just means "chaos", I'll let it slide

Cartman.

you can't just not have a weakness.

I'll let the religion slide cuz it's funny

ok so I've mentioned Toolshed's religion before, but I pose you this.

his power source is "220V", which is a measurement for electricity, like outlets. so this makes me wonder, does he like, charge? like an iPhone? when he goes to bed, does he have to get plugged into the wall before he goes to sleep? is the 24V battery he carries on his back sometimes just a portable charger for him?

I know he's an altered human but I think it's funny to think that he just charges like a iphone

originally while researching these I didn't know what "SkyMaul Catalog" was, but then I searched it up

it was amazing, thank you Tupperware

also assembly isn't a religion what are you a lego set

his sexuality and gender is "yes please" and that is the most Jimmy thing to do

also speed isn't a religion either what are you sonic the hedgehog

shoutout to Call Girl, Wonder Tweek, and Mosquito they didn't have anything interesting enough for me to comment on (unlike everyone else they actually understand what a religion is)

[the-knight-of-the-stars]

Okey, I finished Rise of Red.

—First, what a strange movie, truly. It wasn't like, terrible, but...

—Did it feel cut out to anyone else? Like incomplete? Or like they cut a lot of scenes? Some dialogues are strange and the movie expects us to feel things when everything happens so fast there is really no time for it. (And this is without even mentioning the ending)

—You can tell the director was trying to give this movie an entirely different look, and I dig it, honestly. I think this movie was very experimental and in the visuals at least, I have no complaints. The scenarios were more like what I wanted to see in a fantasy land like that, coloful, fun, a bit more creative.

—I miss Kenny Ortega's talent in musicals.

—Okey, the songs, I don't think they were bad, but because the movie is already so short sometimes it feels like a never ending music video instead of a movie.

—I def liked the songs from the second half of the movie better, they felt more in line with the kind of music secuences everyone loves about Descendants.

—Oh, the fist one in Wonderland I liked too, it had energy.

—I would kill for a scene of Chad with the rest of his family.

—I love how in Descendants, you can just intantly tell if someone is an extra or a character with name.

—Mad Hatter??? I liked to see him, he seemed like a potencially interesting character.

—The entire plot needs you to turn your brain off so it makes sense, and after over-analyzing this movies for years I can't do that 😅

—Obviously the the timeline we all though with the Disney Movies is destroyed.

—I loved seeing Merlin, he was kind of fun.

—Honestly they could have just made a movie about Merlin Academy with no conection to Descendants and it could have been more interesting. The movie didn't even seemed interested enough in the two main characters anyway.

—The message is strange too, the way they handdle moral dilemas is so strange. I don't have the energy right now to get into detail, but yeah, there is some strange things there.

—Like, we save Bridget not for Bridget but for Red, and still the possibility of finding redemption for Ulyanna's group is never brough up, even when they have kids who will get abused and neglected in the future too. Why? Because Bridget was "good" from the beggining? Because she didn't beloged with villains, but Ulyanna and the other's did?

—Also, why are they called VKs? I thought the term meant it was because they were the kids from the villains, not because they were kid villains.

—The ending was so?? This movie felt like it had no stakes despite Cinderella getting killed halfway through. (That scene with Charming was really dark, btw)

—The entire movie felt like it was building onto something, like some plotwist, some climax, and there was no payoff. We didn't even see the Dance they kept mentioning like it was going to be an important scene.

—I am not letting go the implication that even if the Queen of Heart's wasn't evil, Wonderland still refused to be a part of Auradon and Red still wasn't invited to Auradon Prep.