#because being in all three fandoms means i see those of you who are ride or die for your love

[kermit-the-hag]

decide my next pfp

i am entrusting the decision of choosing a pfp that aligns with my vibe to tumblr.

this is no laughing matter. this is serious business. vote for the one that matches my vibe and not who your fave is. (as much as i love my moots, i know there will be blorbo votes)

the results of this poll are legally and morally binding, so i will respect the final decision and make it my pfp accordingly.

after three rounds, it is time for the final vote:

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Twisted Wonderland's Grim is a Grimalkin.

Okay TWST fandom, so today I was chatting away with another friend who plays TWST explaining that it's highly likely that Crowley summoned us due to the opening you get when you first start the game and she asked why he'd do that. And I said this without thinking:

Once I said that, it hit me: GRIM IS NOT NAMED FOR GRIMM'S FAIRY TALES, HE'S A GRIMALKIN.

Let me explain! (This is a long post, you've been forewarned. There is a TLDR at the bottom if you need it.)

So I like reading fairy tale books, retellings, etc., and I learned a long time ago during my high school hyperfixation on reading faery based YA readings about Grimalkins. What are Grimalkins?

Grimalkin (Also spelled Greymalkin) is an archaic term that was often used to describe cats; particularly haggard, female cats. Grimalkin, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, likely comes from compounding the words "Grey" and "Malkin". "Malkin" is a term with several meanings including: a low-class woman, a weakling, an untidy slovenly woman. It's also used to describe cats and hares.

Grimalkins were listed in Scottish legends as a faery cat that dwelt in the highlands, but during the 16th Century witch trials, cats became associated with the devil and witchcraft. Women on trial in Scotland were frequently accused of having a familiar, a ‘demon in disguise’, which was often a Grimalkin. One example of Grimalkins being tied to witchcraft and the devil at the time is William Shakespeare's play MacBeth, which shows the Three Witches who foretell Macbeth's future as having a cat familiar named Grimalkin. They're also in Louis Le Breton's Dictionnaire Infernal, which is a book on demonology.

So how does this relate to Grim?

Grim's design is heavily influenced by common media portrayals of the Devil with a pitchfork tail and fiery pointed ears that can look like horns at times.

One reason that fire is blue like Hades, Idia, and Ortho's hair is because thanks to the Pop Culture understanding of Christianity, people heard Hades and thought to equivocate him to Satan which is why he's the bad guy in the Disney movie, Hercules, when in the original myth, Hera is the one antagonizing Heracles.

Also, most of the fandom believes this creature in the pre Prologue scene when you first start the game, is Grim.

Just saying this looks a lot like different representations of devils and demons.

Note the human hands and clawed feet on this statue of Pazuzu.

And the incorporation of animal traits blended with humans

This is some concept art for Bald Mountain in Fantasia and I can see leathery wings like a dragon/bat, one has a snakey tail, and some have those human-like hands, but clawed feet.

As stated earlier, Grimalkins are tied heavily to devils and witchcraft and TWST tends to push this at us. For Halloween, while all the Dorms have different monsters such as mummies, ghost pirates, headless horsemen, but Ramshackle's Halloween outfit is this:

Not only that, but when we wake up, this is what Crowley says to us about Grim, when he finds us in the library after Grim cornered us, trying to get our robes:

Again, the most common familiar that people accused of witchcraft were said to have was a Grimalkin. A demon cat. This also ties into why we and Grim are put in Ramshackle Dorm.

Now, as some know, Ramshackle Dorm is based on the Haunted Mansion. But the Haunted Mansion had a specific haunt that was cut before the ride came out: The One-eyed Black Cat.

Now, if you don't know this cat, it's okay. He was cut before the ride came out. To sum up, X Atencio, the Imagineer who came up with the basic story ideas and the script for the rides of Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean, had many drafts of the Haunted Mansion's story. One of these cut drafts had a distinct villain character: The One-Eyed Black Cat.

Now, people might argue the Bride/Constance Hatchaway is the villain of the Haunted Mansion, but the One-Eyed Black Cat was different. In that draft, the Ghost Host would warn guests about the One-Eyed Black Cat and the One-Eyed Black Cat was specifically trying to attack/get the guests on the ride and detested mortals, especially happy ones. Guests would've seen signs of the cat throughout the ride as if he was stalking them (Think something akin to the little glimpses of Catnap as he stalks the player throughout Poppy Playtime Chapter 3). At the end of the ride, they would've faced the cat, who's face would turn into some form of human-esque skull like head.

Now the cat made it pretty far before he was cut, because we do have surviving sound outtakes of Paul Frees, the voice of the Ghost Host, saying "Except for that unnatural and dreadful one-eyed black cat" which implies he's not one of the 999 happy haunts, but something truly evil, like a demon.

Now, One-Eyed Black Cat's not mentioned in the Haunted Mansion ride, and there's an idea that his role was passed over to the Raven, another cut antagonistic character who would haunt the rider specifically, but was less unnatural than the cat, but the more likely reason is both the raven and the cat were cut due to the ride changing from story driven to an atmospheric ride. However, nowadays, you can find the One-Eyed Black Cat on the Composer's Crypt in Walt Disney World and as a statue in Disneyland's Haunted Mansion (Funnily enough, during the Haunted Mansion Holiday, the cat statue gets a black and white pinstripe bow...).

Now, this may be reaching, but Grim chasing the player throughout the school, trying to steal their robes because he wasn't allowed to attend NRC, feels like a reference to this possibly demonic cut cat character. Also, his smirk face does make one of his eyes look smaller than the other, kind of like the image on the Composer Crypt.

Anyways, back to Grimalkins. So besides being tied to the devil and witchcraft, Grimalkins were also known as Scottish faery cats. Why does this matter? May I draw your attention to these moments from Book 6 and Book 7?

(Warning minor spoilers)

Idia discussing what Grim is.

Idia and Ortho describing powerful magic cast on Grim.

And from Book 7 Chapter 106

Soi in Book 6, Idia notes Grim is some magical mix of direbeast and animal. In a lot of faery stories, faery animals like Grimalkins, Cat Sidhe, and Kelpies look very similar to normal animals, but they are distinctly a fae, which makes them much more dangerous to mess around with. Much like how Grim is not fully an animal, he's also part direbeast which, considering what has been mentioned in game about direbeasts, sounds like a distinctly magical species that is far more dangerous that regular animals.

Grim is also noted to fluctuate between full Phantom and absolutely no blot levels, but Idia does note a complex magical spell on him that later Papa Shroud mentions is very similar to Malleus's magical realm, which is a faerie spell... (Again, there's that faerie connection). Likewise, depending on the story context, Grimalkins can either be demonic familiars to witches (more akin to TWST Phantoms) or they can be faery creatures (more like TWST Direbeasts).

I've also noticed people point out some kind of connection between Malleus and Grim. There's a blog post by ventique18 does a really good job about pointing out the similarities between the two. Here's the link: https://www.tumblr.com/ventique18/721267245925400576/three-pronged-tail-bringing-back-the-grim-is?source=share

So perhaps one of the reasons for the tie between them is Grim is at least in part based on a Grimalkin, a faery cat, and Malleus is a dragon faery. With all these little things lining up, maybe Grim got his name in part from Grimm's Fairy Tales, but I really and truly do believe Grim is some form of Grimalkin and his name is more a reference to that, but whether he is based on the demonic familiar, faery, or BOTH, we shall see.

TLDR: I'm pretty sure Grim is HEAVILY based on a Scottish fae cat creature/demonic cat that act as a witch's familar called a Grimalkin because there's a lot of references that seem to point to that.

[saltpepperbeard]

Are you still feeling hopeful? I’m trying really hard not to feel demoralized these last few days…

Hi, darling anon! I totally understand where you’re coming from. We’ve been at it for weeks (almost THREE) and things have seemingly slowed down, there’s drama both in-fandom and out, and there’s just sort of an ever-creeping feeling of disheartenment. And on top of everything, it’s JANUARY (DEROGATORY).

But you know what? Despite all of that, despite it all, I am still clinging onto hope. Call me stubborn or whatever else lol, but yes, I’m still hopeful. I think I will be until I see Djenks wave some sort of white flag, or until a lot of time passes with no forward momentum. And even with the latter, I’ll probably still have the stubborn wish to get something like a movie or whatever else in the future.

Now, I’m clinging onto hope for a few reasons. One, and this is the most important one, we really don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes right now. I think that mentality can also swing into negative territory, but I’m using it to propel me into hopeful territory. We don’t know what all is being discussed, we don’t know if anyone’s interested, and we don’t know who all is fighting and how hard.

Again, could be twisted into a “nothing is happening” type view, but when I look at David? At Taika? And how much the show means to them? How passionately they’ve spoken out about it? And how gracious David and the rest of the cast/crew has been? Idk about you, but I’d like to think they’re trying to push for a continuation as hard as they can. *Stede voice* I don’t think…any of us have let go, actually.

Not to mention that the cast and crew have not stopped posting/interacting with renewal campaign efforts. David hasn’t told us anything that would allude to failed deals, and Ruibo still posts #SaveOFMD type things. It just feels like they’re still riding alongside of us.

Secondly, and sort of along those lines, I’m holding on to the knowledge that every renewal is different. There have been some giant campaigns with zero results, but there have also been smaller campaigns with success. There have been campaigns that have only landed a few more episodes, whereas there have been others that landed more seasons, a movie, etc etc.

Each case is unique, and really has to do with what’s going on behind the scenes. Why the show was cancelled in the first place, if the platform is willing to shop it out, if other platforms find it desirable/profitable, etc etc.

And I think along those lines also, there comes a mentality that makes people even more disheartened and sad. I think there’s this thought that if we’ve slowed down, if we’re not pushing enough, we won’t get renewed. And I don’t really think that’s the case; I don’t think renewal rests squarely on our shoulders like that. Because, again, I think a lot of it really has to do with money, and with negotiations between studios. I think we’re very good for visibility and noise, and subsequently, I think any sort of effort is great effort! I think any work that has been conducted is good work.

It’s also important to think about how we’re sort of in a transition stage of the campaign right now, too. Things are significantly different than they were just a week ago. There are campaign leadership changes going on, the focus is different, and new plans of attack are being ironed out.

So, we all just need to give ourselves some grace. We’ve done so much, and things have moved so fast, and the cast and crew have felt so loved. We’ve made it into publications, made it onto physical ads, and gotten the attention of outside entities (shoutout to Astroglide WJDJW). We’ve also all come together, which is VERY wonderful considering how divided things felt towards the end of October. We’re doing wonderful all things considered, and so for that reason among a few others, I’m still hopeful.

Also, there’s this post by @pehmokoira that goes into even MORE detail of why we shouldn’t throw in the towel/lose hope.

SO. TLDR, there is a lot weighing down on “the atmosphere of this ship,” but I still encourage you to keep those fingers crossed. Help maintain the momentum however works best for you. Take a break, take a step back, and take care. But keep that stubborn little fire burning if you can 💜🏴‍☠️

[dearweirdme]

Hey Rain, so there is something I kinda noticed while watching the 3rd episode of AYS and I would like to talk about it if you don’t mind.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe all those times when Tae looked abit hurt or bothered by Jikook’s interactions it might have been because he sometimes felt left out? We know that Vminkook have all been pretty close since they were rookies and depending on who you ask, some people might pick taekook as the closest of the three while others pick jikook and others pick Vmin. The members seemed to think that Vmin were the closest of the pair for some reason. But after hearing Tae say that after he saw the schedule, he asked why he was being left out and said he wanted to go too, it made me realize that maybe that is how he felt back then. I would have believed that he was bothered by Jikook’s behaviour because he was in a relationship with Jk but if that was what really bothered him, why would he be ok with those times Jk went to hangout with Jimin alone at nights? He would obviously trust Jk if Jk was his boyfriend and wouldn’t be bothered by Jk wanting to hang out in another bandmate’s room ofcourse but doesn’t that also mean he wouldn’t be bothered by Jimin and Jk doing a little fanservice? Plus he didn’t always look bothered by their interactions and I feel like sometimes people could mistake Tae’s resting face for him being mad.

I’m thinking of that Live from 2019 where he said that Jk was with Jimin and wasn’t letting Jimin go to him and he gave a very weird look to the camera. Also thinking of that other Live from 2015 when he said he was supposed to do a Live with Jikook but they were hanging out together and even that one time where he dragged Jungkook to another car because he wanted to ride with Jimin. I dunno but it does seem like there were times when he felt a little left out by them and that made him kinda sad. There are so many different theories surrounding that NJ Live from 2019 too but if we were to take things at face value, it seems like Tae wanted to hangout with Jk for abit but Jk kept asking him to leave and even that Vlive from 2017 when Tae went to Jk’s room while Jk was doing a Live with Jimin and Jk seemed kinda upset that Tae had come in and asked “why is everyone coming?”. There’s quite a few moments that give me the impression that maybe Tae just felt left out and that is why he sometimes looked a little sad. What do you think?

Hi anon!

So.. imo opinion, Tae was never bothered by Jk and Jm's friendship. He knows them better than anyone else. He would know exactly what the nature of Jm and Jk's relationship is, and he would definitely know that Jk wasn't secretly pining for Jm or that Jm would want to steal Jk from him. I think, what bothered Tae most of all is seeing the way fandom react to Jkk. He has more than enough experience seeing fandom talk about both his relationship with Jk and Jkk's relationship that he is probably able to know which behaviors will get a fandom reaction. I do think he struggled with that and I even think he might've gotten mad at Jk/Jm at times becouse of those things. It's the way our feelings work, it's not always rational. Tae would rationally know that Jm and Jk are friends and do certain thigns because they are friends, and other things as fanservice. That doesn't mean he would have always felt okay though. I mean, that's the harshness of it all isn't it.. not being able to be completely real.

I don't think Tae felt actually left out, I think he has his own strong bond with Jm and Jk and I think when it's the three of them actually Jm has at times been thirdwheeling. In my opinion you can't really take a few axamples where you feel something seemingly seems off and generalize these to something that always occurs. Things are so very often situational. I think that's the thing Jkkrs so often get wrong. They enlarge certain things to the extreme. Jm talks about Jk going to his room a few times.. and to them that means Jk always hangs out at Jm's room. That's not the case though. Certain situations allow for certain behavior. Someone having a bad mood, or feeling sick, or having just read something nasty online can already alter the way someone would normally behave.

Tae also does fanservice with other members. BTS membrs have most likely been actually trained in doing fanservice, so he would know how to see these things and our ideas about how something looks are probably far off from theirs. Same goes for Jk visiting Jm in his room. Tae knows Jk's sleeping habits and his friendship with Jm better than we do. From the way they talk about it, its actually very clear that nothing but hanging out together went on. For Tae, Jk and Jm are brotherly, so why would that bother him? Why would he limit them in hanging out? Do we expect JK to put limits to Tae hanging out with Wooga as well? People in good relationships don't have a problem with their partner hanging out with their best friend, it's truly as simple as that imo.

I think for Tae it's very important to be able to show how important Jk is to him. He is proud, he loves him, he loves their relationship. So to not be able to do that.. and to see other people make up insane theories and having imaginations about your partner and your best friend being intimate must be excrutingly hard at times. I mean.. imagine being Tae and having to read all the wild stuff Jkkrs are writing now. Holy shit... imagine being Jm and JK and reading all of the insane stuff they are saying right now!

So, no... don't agree.

[sunwarmed-ash]

Roy/Jamie fic idea: just Roy being secretly obsessed with Jamie’s nipples ever since he flashed them at Roy at the gala in S1. One day in S3 or beyond, Jamie’s being a little shit and Roy finally snaps, taking Jamie to bed and declaring that he’s gonna undo Jamie just by doing all manner of things to those nipples. Jamie couldn’t be happier.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! i love all the royjamie prompts I got, so I combined all three into one response!

Prompts:

Coach kink-Jamie calls Roy coach at practice to rial him up, a sequel to 4 AM

Jamie gets his nipples pierced. Roy goes insane

Nipple obsession/nipple worship

Hope you enjoy it!! I certainly had fun writing it!!

Insatiable Tartt

Ships: Roy x Jamie Fandom: Ted Lasso Rating: Explicit Tags: Nipple piercing, nipple worship, public sex kinda, bottom Jamie, Roy/Jamie's ever developing relationship, The Infamous Boot Room, hand jobs, fic under the cut and on ao3, Jamie has a praise kink, and a coach kink, PWP

‘Coach this,’ ‘Coach that,’ ‘Yes Coach,’ ‘please coach’

Coach. Coach. Coach.

In the almost 20 years Roy has been in sports he has never given the word a sexy, second thought. But then Jamie fucking Tartt, his previous business and romantic archrival-turned friends-with-benefits had to go and sob the damn title while he was posted up on Roy’s cock. Begged him, his coach, to make him cum, again and again. And now, after one night together, it’s had an almost instant, pavlovian response with his dick. 

Goddamn you Jamie Fucking Tartt.

-A month later-

They've only hooked up two other times since the first time. The next time was in Amsterdam, after the little shit spent the entire evening teaching him how to ride a bike to honor his grandads memory and then took him to see a windmill because Roy had never seen one before, and then  to add cherries to an already perfect night, Jamie leaned over and kissed him, taking his breath away with a simple press of lips that he hasn't felt since Keeley. 

Jamie didn't kiss him for long, he actually misinterpreted Roy’s freezing as denial and started to retreat almost instantly. Roy was quick to remedy that. His hand was catching the back of Jamie’s head and pulling his lips right back down against Roy’s own, where they belonged. 

Jamie and he then hauled ass back to the hostel the team was staying at and Roy fucked Jamie into the mattress. At least until Roy’s knee started acting up. But then Jamie took over, riding Roy hard into the bed for another good half hour.  

-

The third time was after Roy’s ‘misguided though comical’ attempt at ‘teammate awareness’ with the whole dick tying thing. It wasn't all bad. Jamie had admitted that it actually turned him on. After he blamed Roy for the new pain kink he developed around his dick because of it. 

That night, Roy had spent an hour tying Jamie up with the remaining red rope, binding his legs and arms away from his front so Roy had unlimited access to his body. He even tied up his cock, like a nice little present for Roy to admire and praise. Before slapping it hard with his hand while Jamie sobbed and pled for more. 

“Like that, do you slut?”

“Yes Coach…” Jamie pants without a fuss. 

-

After that last time, Roy thought he had finally gotten a one-up on the man. But evidently, he had underestimated the little shit, again. Because when Roy walked into the locker room after practice and the team was getting changed, his eyes caught a shining glint off something and someone he did not expect. 

And he wasn't the only one who noticed. 

“Oi boyo, when’d you get those?” Colin asked Jamie, referring to the matching piercing bars through the man’s nipples that were currently making Roy’s mouth fucking water. 

Jamie smirked and tossed his shirt over his shoulder instead of putting it on, letting Colin get a nice long look. 

“Long time ago mate,” Jamie shrugged. “16? 17 maybe?” Roy hates that that fact means he could have had those bars in his mouth already but Jamie specially chose not to disclose having them until today. 

“Only wear em when I’m tryin’ get lucky, ya know.” 

Roy looks at Jamie just in time to realize he was pointing that intention directly at him and his burning arousal and fear of public displays of affections has him shouting a familiar threat in the full locker room. 

“TARTT, BOOT ROOM! NOW!”

-

“I didn’t even do nothing wrong this time!” Jamie whines the second the boot room door closes and Roy’s mouth is on his to silence the bitchy noise. 

“Take off your shirt,” He says when he breaks apart and Jamie smiles, all the way up to his ears.

“Oh, oh, yeah, okay,” and then his shirt’s off and Roy’s hands replace it, running over every inch of skin he can reach before settling on what he really wanted to see. The silver and blue barbells through each of Jamie’s dusky brown nipples. 

“It's a good thing these aren't new,” Roy says, and before Jamie can ask why, Roy’s mouth is latching over one, biting into the pec hard before soothing the bite with a suck and several pointed licks around Jamie’s nipple. 

Jamie’s painful shout morphed into a pleased whine with the attention to the piercing with his tongue and Roy was happy this was making Jamie as crazy as its making Roy. He's admittadbily been obsessed with Jamie’s nipples since that little tart decided he was too good for a shirt at the charity auction. 

“Roy, please,” Jamie whines, breaking Roy out of his thoughts and back to the current moment. 

“No,” Roy growls against Jamie’s skin, and it makes Jamie’s cock twitch against their bodies. “Address me right if you want something,” 

“Coach,” Jamie whimpers, quickly entering the matter phase of melted goo in Roy’s specially crafted hands.

“There's a good boy,” Roy praises, and Jamie melts even farther with a pitiful whine. “Shouldn’t surprise me you have these pierced. Actually a little cross you didn't tell me sooner.”

Jamie’s eyes open and bore into Roy’s. There’s too much there to attempt to process it all.  

“Wanted to surprise you.”

“Suprise me? Why?”

Jamie flushed pink, now avoiding his eyes. 

“Don't know... Thought maybe you'd like them. Do you?”

Roy raised his eyebrow before grabbing Jamie's hand and holding it against his own cock. 

“Does this answer your question?”

Jamie hums and his eyes flutter and he nods. 

“Fuck me?”

Roy shakes his head. 

“Can’t here Sweetheart, as much as I want to. But I can keep this up, probably make you come apart without even touching your cock. Would you like that?”

Jamie’s whines don’t contain actual words. He just nods and reaches out for Roy, pulling him close so Roy can bite and lick across his chest any way he wants to.  

Roy does. He loves the way the metal feels against his tongue, how much it makes Jamie gasp and squirm when he just barely scrapes his teeth across the hardened flesh. Loves how loud he cries when Roy bites him so hard it’ll leave marks tomorrow. 

Jamie’s cries get pitchier when he sucks around Jamie’s nipple, licking the piercing balls on either side with his tongue, Jamie's hips thrust forward, bumping against Roy’s thigh and pulling another moan from the younger player's lips. 

“Coach, please,” Jamie begs and Roy moves up from the hickied and bruised chest to Jamie’s lips, biting roughly into his lower lip. 

Jamie whines and Roy chuckles, soothing his cries with another deep kiss.

“What do you want Jamie?”

“Make me cum, please, I’m close.”

“That all?”

“No,” Jamie huffed. 

Roy’s playful tug on Jamie’s piercing with his teeth had the younger man humping against Roy’s thigh now. 

“What else then?”

“Want you to fuck me, at home. You can tie me up again if you want.”

“You really liked that huh?”

“Your fault, you put the image in me head.”

“Something tells me you have the capacity to think devious thoughts up all on your own,” Roy laughed before slipping his hand down the front of Jamie’s track pants and gripping his hard cock tight. 

Jamie’s retort died on his tongue and his hand shot out for Roy, pulling his head forward and mouth back onto his chest. 

“Fuck, touch me, please,” Jamie pants and Roy goes to work. Jamie wasn’t kidding, he was getting close. Most of Roy’s hand was now slick with Jamie’s precum. 

The younger seemed to really like when he bit hickies into his chest Roy continued his pointed assault, squeezing the head of Jamie’s cock the next time his pumping hand reached it. 

“Fuck-” Jamie cries and it’s all over. His thighs tremble below Roy’s hand as his orgasm pulses through him. Roy’s hand gets slicker but he doesn't stop pumping. Not until Jamie’s pretty bite swollen lips beg him to. 

Roy pulls his hand out of Jamie’s pants and uses his clean hand to pull the man forward, kissing him back down after an intense, public, orgasm. 

Jamie hums under the kiss, slumping onto Roy’s chest and giving him all of Jamie’s body weight to support while he came back down to Earth. 

“Are you still hard?” Jamie asks after a couple of minutes, and Roy chuckles at the ridiculous question. 

“Course I am.”

“Still wanna tie me up? We can go, like right now. If you wanna.”

Roy chuckled before kissing Jamie again. 

“Insatiable tart.”

[hellomynameisghostface]

This post is just to get some things off my chest. I want to start off by saying I'm the kind of person who actually wants and hopes every Ghostface killer gets some kills. I know some people will pass it off as me being an Amber fan and being blinded by it but before Amber, Jill was my number one favorite Ghostface (now second) and I can fully admit she did not kill a damn person until she was unmasked. I really watch and pay attention when coming to these conclusions. It's not me just being an Amber fanboy. I love Richie and wish he did some kills but I personally don't believe he did and that's what this post will be about, explaining my theories and opinions. Before going through the attacks and kills I want to do a little explanation. People jump to the conclusion that Amber likes to "staby stab" while Richie likes to go for the throats but I personally believe Amber doesn't have any one way of killing. I think Amber’s smarter than the fandom makes her out to be and knows she has to go for the surprise quick kills when she knows she has a strong victim. It doesn’t always work out for her though which is why she resorts to stabbing repeatedly. She adjusts her style to the victim/situation, which I'll explain further through each attack/kill. First up is the attack on Tara. I think most of the fandom can come to an agreement that this was Amber, although I have seen some people argue it was Richie. The explanation is pretty simple though, when Richie claims he was in Modesto Sam doesn't dispute it and with how overprotective she is of Tara she definitely would of called out if he was out of her sight long enough to do the attack. Therefore, this was Amber. This is also the first time Amber seemingly goes for Tara's throat as well, something some people claim is Richie's style, but Tara stops the knife.

Next up is Vince's kill who most of the fandom believes is Richie because of the throat stab. For this to be Richie he would’ve had to sneak away from Sam and Tara, count on them not waking up and without being spotted by the hospital staff and guards to kill Vince whereas Amber and the gang got kicked out of the bar and it was late, we have no context after that so they could've split to go home which would be when Amber stuck over to kill Vince. She knew Vince was stronger than her and he was armed with a knife so she was smart enough to go for a surprise quick kill. Intermission on the attacks/kills to defend Amber from those of you who call her stupid and obvious for using her own phone to make the calls. During the attack on Sam in the hospital we know Amber was being questioned at the sheriff's station so how could she have made the call? This means Richie called from "Amber's phone" but in the next scene we see Amber hand her phone to Judy. When would Richie have had time to give back Amber's phone? This would mean they actually cloned her phone, incase there was anyway for the police finding out it wasn't actually cloned or even just for the sake of Richie having the option to use it which I think is actually a smart move. Again, I think most of the fandom can collectively agree that Amber killed Judy but I want to go over the attack because it comes into play with my theory that Amber does throat kills. Like Tara's attack, it seems Amber goes for Judy's throat but she also stops the knife. To overpower Judy she has to use both her hands (which will come up again in this post.)

While people think Richie killed Wes, things don't add up for me. Why open the door? If Amber was already outside and Richie was inside, Amber would just head to the hospital and Richie would not need to lure Wes to the front door he could've just fucked with him in the kitchen. Furthermore, after killing Wes, Richie would have to find a ride back to the hotel while picking up a pizza all before Sam called him. Wes' attack is also very similar to Judy and Dewey (which I'll get to.) All three almost get a knife to the throat before it's stopped and Amber had to use both of her hands.

Side note: this might not be much evidence but I thought it was worth noting but Wes’ kill seemed VERY personal. The way this Ghostface held the knife in his throat while staring into his eyes as he coughed up blood. We already know Wes and Amber were beefing over Tara so it makes perfect sense she’d want to kill him. Next up is the deputy who had his throat slit when Tara's attacked in the hospital. It doesn't make sense for Richie to do this because he would've had to first get to the hospital, dress up in his Ghostface costume incase someone walked in on him or the kill on the deputy was unsuccessful then get undressed. Amber was already there and in her Ghostface costume and as I mentioned before, Amber's smart enough to go for a kill style that's a quick kill when it comes to stronger/armed victims. I believe while she was killing the deputy, Richie shut the lights off because we hear him open the door and walk up to Tara, insinuating he just showed up. Since it's confirmed Dewey's attack was done by Amber (despite the morons that believe there was a secret mastermind) because Richie was present, we can look at how she attacks and handles her knife. This is the fourth instant that Ghostface aims for the throat, fails and has to use both hands.

Going against the theory that Amber likes to stab, stab, stab that some people believe and further supporting my theory that she likes to change it up and doesn't have one style, she only stabs Dewey with two knifes and pulls them up. She went for that quick and fatal kill because Dewey put up a good fight and she knew she couldn't fuck around anymore and had to get the job done.

We know Amber attacks Chad but since she uses her "stab like crazy" tactic, it doesn't help my point that she has other kill styles. So moving on... This last scene I want to talk about is actually Richie but I feel like people are going to bring it up so lets talk about it. When Mindy is attacked, we know this is Richie because shortly after, Amber comes in with Tara where she claims to have been with Tara the whole time with Tara not disputing it and there isn't any way she could have gotten out of her costume that fast without Tara seeing her anyway. Also; Jack Quaid, the actor for Richie, was under the costume in real life for this scene. So why am I bringing the scene up? Well it kind of conflicts with my theory since Richie also seems to use the same tactic in this scene that Amber's used on Tara, Judy, Dewey (and Wes which is is one of the kills that is up for debate in the fandom.) The tactic in which she goes for the throat and is stopped so has to use two hands. The only differences in this attack is we can't really tell if he's aiming for the throat whereas in the other attacks (and gifs of them I included) the throat seems to be the target and the second difference being all the other attacks, the Ghostface holds the knife on the right and pushes down with their left hand while Richie, during the Mindy attack, holds the knife from his left side. I don't know if it's that deep but you know...I thought it was something to mention.

In conclusion, killing styles don't mean much to me. There's only so many ways to handle a knife and it's not that hard to change it up. Especially if you're a murderous psychopath, you're probably going to want to be creative but since a lot of people in the fandom like to base it on kill style, I'm trying to debunk that. Killing styles aside, I just don't think Richie could have made these kills, looking at where he's placed throughout the movie. Well, that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading my thoughts. Let me know if you agree or if you disagree and let me know where I went wrong and how you think Richie could of slipped in for these attacks/kills. I'm open to other opinions as long as they're respectful.

[circlemidnight]

I just saw the synopsis for 7x10 jabitha investigating a mystery and barchie and veggie double date :(( i'm losing hope

Well we knew they would dip into old couples again? Possibly even with a weird Tabitha² love triangle with Jughead. Like Choni is the only sure thing right now. Also Tabitha is a great character and a much better protagonist than Jughead, so I'm excited for her to move the story along. Maybe we can pick up the pace on this murder plot finally and rescue Ethel too. And, I will just leave you with this:

When we kind of reset to the 1950s and we made that decision to go back to the OG comics, it was like that sort of informed what our storytelling would be and our storytelling really would be much more about dating, relationships, going steady, holding hands, and things like that, as opposed to the crazy Riverdale “oh my god, we’re in the shower” and all of that crazy stuff. It was a more innocent relationship type but we did kind of want to go back and think, before anyone is hot and heavy and ride or die — I don’t think anyone’s mentioned the word endgame yet in the 1950s because mercifully, it didn’t exist. One of the fun things about the 1950s is being able to see various pairings and various characters go on a date and casually date and not so casually date, and I can safely say that if you’ve only seen episode three, there is a lot more story between Archie and Betty and Veronica, specifically those three, and other characters that haven’t historically been matched with Veronica or Betty. So, there’s a lot more teen high jinks and romance to play before we lock into any endgames. [...] Lastly, you finally gave me what I’ve been asking you about forever: Jughead and Veronica having scenes together! I was living for them in episode three. What was the push for that? Was it because fans kept mentioning that they wanted to see them or were they just thrown together naturally since they didn’t get much time before? I think it’s a little bit of both. I mean, when we kind of did this soft reset, we sort of were like, “Okay, who haven’t we seen together?” We always love our typical sort of references and we started thinking of like, oh — and we love saying this in the Riverdale writers’ room and on the show, things like, “Oh my gosh, Jughead and Veronica are like the Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe of Riverdale High, the tortured writer and then the beautiful starlet.” And in the past, the little Veronica and Jughead content that we’ve had has always played great. We’ve just never gotten a chance to dig into that. So I can tell you that we are leaning into that and that that bubbles up in various times throughout the season, in a really fun way. It’s a fun pairing, those characters definitely have a spark.

(x)

and I will say that if things don't turn out the way you hope, there's a lot of talented people in this fandom that will create better endings for them. 💜

[theserpentsadvocate]

Flipping The Script (Jade/Eli)

I promised @feeisamarshmallow that I would work on my depressing longer project all weekend and then I wrote this instead. It's my first fic for this fandom so I do take concrit, but, like, accompany it with hot chocolate or something.

Summary: Jade gets her mother's car fixed. She meets a guy.

*

All Jade wanted was to get her mother’s car and drop it off with enough time to get to the library before it closed, and since the library was open late on Thursdays and she’d stopped to pick it up at 4 PM, it hadn’t seemed that difficult. But somehow it was starting to seem impossible that she would make it, because she’d spent the last seven hundred years staring blankly at the high-school-age garage employee while he badly flirted with her by implying she was a car thief, and that meant the library was definitely closed.

“I mean, not that I really think so,” he said, laughing at his own joke. “But you could sure get away with it! Nobody would suspect you.”

She forced a pained smile, cursing herself internally. Her coworkers said she was just the sweetest, because she was too nice to ever say the kinds of things they did about annoying guys or bitchy guests. Really, it only meant she got just as pissed off on the inside, but she’d had ladylike manners drilled into her so deeply that she always ended up standing there and letting it happen. Three years in customer service didn’t help either, any more than the fact that she was used to dealing with this kind of thing from the other side of the counter.

One day, she thought a little hysterically, she was going to become some kind of crazed murderer, stabbing every guy who came onto her while screeching “That’s not polite!” And on that day, she might actually get her mom’s car.

“If you could just check?” she asked for what had to be the fourth time. “I know she spoke to someone about it.”

“Sorry,” he said, not checking. “There’s nothing under Jade.” A smirk. “But I–”

She cut him off before he could say but I could be and make her actually throw up. “Did you try ‘Gutierrez’, because–”

“Listen, we got these policies for a reason,” he went on. “I know it’s a pain.” The condescension was almost worse than the lechery. “Maybe you call your mom and let her know she’s got to come in herself, but hey, if you need a ride somewhere, I could take you. I’m off soon.”

Oh, God. “I really need to pick it up today.” She leaned on the firmness in the way that always surprised guests who thought being pretty and polite meant she had no backbone at all. “I know she cleared it with someone, so could you get your boss, please?”

“Fred’s not in on Thursdays,” he said blithely, and Jade could have screamed.

“Then could you call him? Or just get a supervisor, maybe?” She forced another smile so he wouldn’t think she was trying to get him in trouble. “If they authorize it then you’ll be in the clear, right?”

“He doesn’t like to be bothered at home.” The man eyed her up and down in a way she would have objected to even if he wasn’t barely legal. Jade took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself to go around the whole carousel again, but –

“Mike, what the hell are you doing?”

One of the other employees was frowning at them from the side door, annoyance plain on his face. “I need you on that Camry; Luis is busy with the bikes and we already told the owner he can pick it up tomorrow.”

“I’m helping a customer!” Mike insisted, seeming to actually believe it.

“For almost an hour? Is it a flying car?” Her saviour came a little closer, and Jade could see he wasn’t as old as she’d initially thought, maybe her age – one of those young guys who shaved their heads, rather than a thirty-something with unfortunate follicular genetics.

“She wants to pick up the car, but it’s not hers. I’m trying to explain it, but, you know…”

Only her utter disbelief prevented Jade from saying something really terrible that she would have regretted later. Was he really suggesting that she was stupid?

Mike winked at her. “I bet she doesn’t get a lot of people saying no to her, and I mean, can you blame them?”

His coworker – his boss? – stared at him in a way that blessedly reminded her that sanity existed. “Are you kidding me?”

“What?” Mike indicated Jade’s entire body with a wave of his hand, as if she was Exhibit A, and she felt her face burning in spite of herself. How was she the one embarrassed right now?

“You know we can’t give out the cars to just anyone,” he went on, and then turned back to Jade, seemingly oblivious to the other man’s incredulous displeasure. “But since I gotta get back to work, maybe I can trade it for your number, beautiful?”

“I don’t think so,” Jade told him stiffly, but it went unnoticed, since his coworker chose that moment to exclaim, “Are you fucking serious?”

It wasn’t very professional, but she decided to forgive him, especially when he followed it up with, “You can’t fucking talk to the customers like that!”

He took a couple steps over and dragged Mike out from behind the counter by one arm while the younger man protested the injustice of being denied whatever opportunity he’d somehow thought he had. Jade was polite enough to pretend to look elsewhere, as much as she desperately wanted to gawk, but even with several feet between them for the illusion of privacy she could hear the resultant conversation.

“What the hell, man, you’re not my boss!”

“Yes, I am, you dumbass. That’s why it says supervisor on my uniform! You think I’ve been chasing your ass all day for the hell of it?”

“Look, just because you’re always sucking up to Fred–”

“Fred’s not here, genius, that’s why he made me a supervisor, so he could take a fucking day off! Do think you just have no boss on Thursdays?”

“Man, you’re gonna screw things up for me here, will you quit it? I don’t have to listen to some loser who never finished high school.”

Jade risked a sideways look at them, and she saw Mr. Supervisor take the kind of deep breath that was an alternative to punching someone.

“I finished high school,” he snapped. “In fact, I’m about to teach you something. Listen up. Number one, you never had a chance with that girl because you are a dumbfuck who couldn’t even get into an automotive course and is about to get fired from the only shop in town that does on-the-job training because he doesn’t do his goddamn work and hits on the customers, and she is someone who wears pantsuits to work. Number two, you wouldn’t have had a chance with a girl like that anyway because she’s…” He inclined his head in a much classier version of Mike’s wave, which Jade probably should have been offended by, but wasn’t, “and you...” He snorted. “Number three, if you lived in some fucked up universe where she was somehow into you, you still don’t ask for her phone number, because you’re on the clock and it’s un-fucking-professional. Stand still and don’t say anything while I try to fix your mess, and you better watch closely because this is how you speak to every goddamn customer until Fred comes in on Saturday and fires your worthless ass.”

He took a breath, forcing his shoulders back and clearly trying to put the Customer Face back on – Jade had done that particular shoulder-roll enough times that her back straightened in sympathy even as she looked away for real to give him a moment of privacy. This man was her new favourite person and she had no intention of making him pay for Mike’s crimes, but he didn’t know that, so she could at least make things easy for him.

“Excuse me,” he said with a straight face, replacing his coworker behind the counter. “Unfortunately we had a miscommunication. Let me see what I can do for you, ma’am.”

The painstaking professionalism felt incongruous coming from someone who had dropped at least five F-bombs in the last two minutes, and all the more so when they both knew he was blatantly lying, but it was also pretty delightful after slogging through all of Mike’s nonsense, enough so that she even forgave him calling her ma’am. It was about making a point, anyway.

“Thank you,” Jade said graciously. “My mother brought her car in on Monday, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to pick it up, so she arranged for me to get it for her. She told me she spoke with the owner, and it shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Absolutely,” Mike’s boss returned, almost brightly. It felt a little like having a conversation with an exaggerated version of people who did her job at places like the Grand, who spent all day honing their obsequiousness on rich people, except that the concierge was a Latino guy with neck tattoos and slightly wrinkled coveralls that said – she squinted for a moment – Eli. “If I can just get your mother’s name, I can access our file and see if there’s a note attached.”

Points to him for saying access the file when there appeared to be one oversized notebook planner and a lot of loose paper on the desk, and no computer at all.

“Certainly!” Jade said, matching his tone with the same enthusiasm she’d use on a particularly stubborn guest. She thought she saw him hide a smile. “It’s Rita Gutierrez, and the car is a Fiat Cinquecento.”

“One moment, please.” He flipped open the notebook, paging through with enough purpose that it had to be organized in some coherent way; Mike had only shuffled the loose pages around. “Gutierrez, came in on Monday. Oh, yes!” He said the last part with such overacted eagerness that she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. “There’s a note right here.” It was a sticky note; Jade knew this because he peeled it off the page and held it up so that his coworker, still sulking where Eli(jah?) had left him, could see. “From the owner. ‘To be picked up by daughter Jade Gutierrez’ – do you have identification, Miss Gutierrez?”

“I do.” She’d had her driver’s licence ready since she entered the building and finally handing it over was a relief. “Do you need anything else?”

“This should cover it,” he said, actually looking at the ID and at her face. Then the ultra-professional façade slid back down. “I have the breakdown for you here –” He removed one of the papers Mike had been sliding around and handed it to her. “Your mother paid our estimate when she dropped off the vehicle, so there’s only a small amount outstanding. It’s in good shape for being ten years old.”

“She has it serviced regularly,” Jade said with affected gravity, skimming over the details. Forty-eight dollars and sixty cents over what her mom had already paid, mostly for also changing the serpentine belt as well as the alternator, which was a relief. Her mom always spun out about car repairs, and she’d had Jade half convinced they’d be demanding a few more hundred dollars.

“I can take care of the balance right now,” she told him. Her mom would probably insist on paying her back, but it was worth it either way. The first forty-five minutes might have been torture, but the catharsis of seeing someone actually yell at the creep, paired with some appealingly collaborative back-and-forth with, honestly, a pretty attractive guy – she’s noticing right now that he has very nice eyelashes, which is almost as appealing as the tattoos – has been satisfying enough that it might have actually raised the tone of her evening. She’s definitely calling Trish and hashing the whole thing over later, and she’s actually looking forward to it.

Mike sighed and huffed as Eli(as?) ran her card, thanked her with elaborate courtesy, and asked if there was anything else he could do for her.

“No, thank you so much,” Jade said, taking the keys from him – and then, halfway to the door and wanting to do something to show just how much she appreciated all this, wanting a little bit to piss Mike off, and definitely wanting for once to be the kind of person who did that kind of thing, instead of thinking wistfully about it later, she doubled back, heading him off before he could re-engage with his less-than-abashed coworker. “Actually, excuse me – I’m sorry, I know this is inappropriate, but since I’m not really the customer, and since the transaction’s been concluded – I was wondering if I could get your number?”

Mike produced an outraged squawk that made them both avoid eye contact for a moment, trying not to ruin the moment by laughing. Then Eli(ott?) cleared his throat. “You know, I think that would be okay, just this once,” he told her, grinning, and if she wasn’t sure a moment ago how much of this was about proving a point, well, that was definitely coming in a distant second now.

She waited for him to write something on the flipside of one of the business cards on the rack, took it with a smile, and strode out before her nervousness could catch up with her. She didn’t look at it until she was safe in her mother’s Fiat.

Eli Navarro, 555-3407. No frills, no flirty message underneath, and it seemed like his name was just Eli.

She liked it.

[barbiegirldream]

Hey Sally!

I left the fandom almost a year ago, but I still check in here and there. I was curious, how do you handle the stress of being in fandoms? Doesn’t it get overwhelming with the amount of drama and antis? I get overwhelmed with everything even when checking in for a few minutes every few months, there is always something going on and it’s never positive. I had been in the fandom since February 2020 and it was still the case back then. Even prior to hitting Dream hitting 2 Million, but it’s so much worse now. The fandom is smaller and instead of people trying to ride Dreams wave of success, it’s the same exact people except now they’re trying to ride the wave of his “downfall”. It’s disheartening to see people change, and I wish it were for genuine reasons. The genuine reasons exist, many people could dislike him for them but that is not the case at all. I say that because this reaction and hatred towards him is never expressed to others who have done similar things, and worse. I always wondered why Dream face revealed instead of leaving the internet and living on a farm far far away 😭 That’s a joke, but actually something I would have done if I were him (which I’m not)

I don’t really get stressed about it. I mean let’s be serious No One has been preying on Dream’s success since 2020 and they realized he was going to surpass all of them. They’re jealous little creatures who think it they could just get that hit tweet or that viral video Dream will fade from existence. It doesn’t matter he’s already swept them all. He walked into YouTube in 2019 and got his Diamond play button his world records his world wide notoriety. What took others a decade he did in three years.

Dream is Happy despite their very best efforts and he’s always going to beat them for that fact alone

As for me I am like the sims who get joy from those around them being unhappy

[missingrache]

10 fandoms 10 blorbos, very belatedly responding to a tag from lovely @windsweptinred:

1. Bioshock: Mark Meltzer

This man is the subject of my very first post on tumblr, he must be included here, I adore this sad fuck.

2. Homestuck: Diamonds Droog

A toss up between him and Slick. I was and am a Homestuck Intermission girlie and this must be acknowledged.

3. Dragon Age: Justice

I have many many Dragon Age faves and DAO and also Awakening is so so important to me, but Jorstin here is the fellow I have the most distinct and personal opinions about and is, aside from OCs like my Brosca Warden, Avi, the only one I have a strong rp/fic voice for. He’s such a weird and cool dude!

4. DC Comics/Animated Universe: Martian Manhunter/ J’onn J’onzz

My BOY. I love him most in the VERY specific comic pictured above (1988 miniseries that establishes the Martian gods as being flaming horrorterrors, as we see in Sandman w/L’zoril Dream, it’s GOOD SHIT)—but also in general. Criminally under rated and under represented. A sad fuck, a shape shifting horror, a stranger in a strange land, a bereaved parent, Doing His Goddamn Best. AND sometimes a noir detective send up.

Anyway, speaking of comics.

5. Sandman: Dream of the Endless

I am thrilled to be here in the year of our lord 2024 enthusing about and making friends over this scrunkly wet cat that I first encountered and dearly loved in high school. (I am more than halfway through my 30’s now, so it has been A WHILE). I’m counting Sandman and DC as separate affairs, sorry not sorry.

6. Our Flag Means Death: Izzy Hands

Loved him even before S2, fascinated, I want to put him in a jar and shake him but also keep him safe forever. I am a little soured on the show after s2, but I have dressed up as Izzy and would gladly do so again so he belongs here.

7. Supergiant Hades: Achilles

This SPECIFIC version of Achilles, who has died and continued growing through his pain and regrets and who is a surrogate parent to my BOI Zagreus, is. Fascinating. To me. I was so angry at first to find myself liking him as much as I did! It’s masterful how much characterization Supergiant implies with relatively little. He’s coming after Izzy on the list bc I came to them both in similar ways, looking at myself falling in love and going oh my god HIM? Seriously? And being like yup that war criminal there is my son now!!! (And now of course I’m fond of him all across the mythological/classical board, oh my god Hadesgame what have you done.)

8. Star Wars: Alexsandr Kallus

The only space nazi redemption arc I will accept. (Although I am watching Andor with friends right now and three double agent gingers across the begins to suggest a pattern which is very entertaining to me.)

Anyway A+ arc, love this bastard man, love his giant cat husband, single-handedly keeping me invested in Star Wars, hope his gay happy ending never gets messed with.

9. Les Miserables: Inspector Javert

Another character that I went oh my god REALLY??? That Guy??? About. But he’s so /funny/ in the Brick and Stars is lovely enough that I learned how to play barre chords on my guitar Just For That and look. Look. He is a bastard but he is MY bastard and I will read every redeemed!Javert fic that crosses my path forever the end. (Also a side note: Kallus was originally sold to me by @lokivangelist as “space Javert”)

10. The Witcher: Dandelion/Jaskier (all versions, but repping Hexer below because that’s my favorite!!!)

Throwing a curveball for the last slot! I’ve got a sad dad/monochrome aesthetic/loyal right hand/shapeshifting nonhuman/rigid worldview kinda pattern happening above, and my boi here slip slides away from almost all of those. Except for the loyalty. This man is an absolute ride or die for Geralt and I love that about him. He is also an obnoxious fuckboi but I love that too, especially in a story as heavy as the Witcher frequently can be. (My runner up for this fandom was gonna be book!Lambert, who is similarly narratively savvy and good at puncturing the heaviness of a scene without being straight up comic relief.)

There they are! Ten blorbos, I climbed that whole mountain and now I’m heading to bed. (Will tag folks tomorrow perhaps? But also feel free to invite yourself in and do this and say I tagged you if you like, because I am curious what my mutuals and etc . might choose!)

[kaitlynpcallmebeepme]

You'll Never Be Alone

You'll Never Be Alone

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Idea: Based off of a lot of what @spencer-reids-adventures writes (which is really good btw) where reader and spencer have come up with a system where if either one of them has a hard case they force eachother to sleepover which ends the night with always talking about what's on their mind.

Requested: No

A/N: I’m making the background of the reader being a pediatric nurse before she joined the FBI/BAU because I want to be a NICU nurse (and it also gave me a reason to have made it a hard case especially for the reader).  I switch a lot between who’s thoughts I’m speaking.  **I love you if you get this Stray Kids reference.**  Let me known if you want to be tagged when I write for a certain fandom. I finished this on a night shift (why is that the only time I ever have motivation to write), and I'm studying hard to take my NCLEX in a few months (the test you have to pass to become a nurse).  I'll be sure to pick up my writing after that. 

Let me know if you want to be on my tag list when I write or if you only want it to be for certain fandoms. 

Requests: Nope, but requests are Open. Fandoms I write for in pinned post.

Warnings: Some season spoilers (just the themes, mainly in Spencer’s), infant death and kidnapping mentioned, child pornographer mentioned, hard cases, mental stress, mention of Spencer’s past drug use, Derek misinterpreting a situation, please tell me if I missed any.

Word Count: 2,122, wow one of my longest yet

We all trudged our way back into the bureau after one of the worst cases we had in a while.  Cases involving kids were always hard and ones we put all our effort into, but this one involved infant kidnapping.  That hit me at a deeper level than everyone else because I used to be a NICU nurse before I decided I wanted to join the BAU.  Also, infants don’t deserve anything bad to happen to them.  They literally are not strong enough to do anything to anyone.  

I dumped my to-go bag on my desk, louder than I intended.  I felt everyone’s eyes on me after that.  “Sorry.” I mumbled.  

Hotch and Derek were the ones to discover the bodies of the five missing infants and three more that were unidentifiable and decomposing in the basement of a manic bipolar who, apparently, had a miscarriage.  That was my only saving grace in this case.  Neither Spencer nor I had to see the bodies.  I’m glad Spencer didn’t have to see them as well because I knew that he couldn’t forget that image no matter how hard he tried.    

Spencer started packing up the paperwork from his desk adjacent to yours. "My place or yours?" 

You knew he didn't mean it in a sexual way. You also knew there wasn't an answer option of 'I want to be alone right now.' Those were the rules you and Spencer set for yourselves.  

It was after he came to you because a case affected him so much that he had the temptation to start using dilaudid again.  He just needed some distraction then because he couldn’t go back down that slippery slope.  Never again.   You both made a pact that night that if there was a case that shook you to your core that you would not spend the night alone, no matter how you felt.  Many bad things can happen when you’re alone with your thoughts after hard cases in a job like this.  

“Mine.  I got better food and you know it.”  That made Spencer smile knowing that even through a hard case you still kept your sarcasm up.  He also knew that it would break as soon as you were behind closed doors.  You needed to be somewhere where it was safe to be vulnerable.  

“Mine has my library though, and I know how much you like it there.”  

“Fine, but you’re reading me Harry Potter to sleep and getting take-out.”  At the end of the night, you didn’t care where you slept.  You had some clothes at his apartment anyway.  

You drove the both of you back because the subway was closed (it was the middle of the night, so obviously).  The car ride was silent as you both were trying to figure out what to say or if any words needed to be said.  It wasn’t awkward silence**, but comfortable silence.  Once you parked, you and Spencer made it up to his apartment.  

Spencer’s apartment usually gives you the warm homey feeling, but it just made you feel safe.  Safe enough to break down.  You stood no more than a few feet in the doorway and rivers of tears started coming out of your eyes.  Your mind saying words of blame. ‘THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE IF YOU HAD DONE MORE!’ ‘YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE IN THERE!’ ‘YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED THEM!’ Your mind making your body numb and you couldn’t do anything but drop to your knees in Spencer’s front room.  Your eyes flowed rivers of tears down your face as all your walls broke.  

The arms of Spencer around your shoulders broke your intrusive thoughts.  He slowly lifted you up and guided you to lay on the couch with your head in his neck.  He allowed you to cry and be vulnerable and he gave your forehead kisses as silent words of reassurance.  Spencer has been through more than enough in his life, yet he still chooses to show kindness to others. “I can’t get them out of my head.  I didn’t even see them and I can’t get what their tiny bodies would look like out of my head.”  It would be worse if you had an eidetic memory, but you didn’t say that.  You were just feeling so defeated and helpless at the moment.

He let you fall asleep on his shoulder with him rubbing your back.  You woke up being under covers in his bedroom with Spencer nowhere in sight.  You still felt the sting of your eyes from crying so much last night.  You walked into his living room to find breakfast, clearly ordered, set up in his living room.  “I waited until you got up before I got your phone set up for Harry Potter.” His hair sticking up in many different directions from having obviously slept on the couch.  

“Please tell me you didn’t sleep on the couch in your own home.”  That would have made you feel worse if you kicked Spencer out of his own bed.  

“No, I slept next to you in case you woke up from nightmares.  I also got you breakfast from that Mom and Pop place you liked that does white chocolate chips in pancakes.  Also, Hotch gave us both the day off to recover.”  You looked at him as if he was your world, because to be honest, he was.  There’s no one else who would treat you this way.  Spencer was truly one of a kind.  His cute curly hair stuck out every way while he wore a Washington D.C. sweatshirt.  Probably one of the only ones he owns and that he was probably forced to buy in a downpour you suspected.  

You sat on the couch next to your breakfast, raised your arms, and made grabby hands toward Spencer offering, more needing, him to sit with you.  Spencer makes his way over to you looking the most comfy he has looked in days.  You both sit on the couch and enjoy your breakfast while watching Chamber of Secrets.  It was what you both needed to recover.  Good food and good company.  

The time when you got to pay it forward to Spencer was after a case in Vegas.  You had mixed feelings about cases in Vegas.  You hated the hot weather and it was a city of dreams, failures, mobsters, and addiction.  It was also where Spencer was from and you knew he liked visiting his Mom, but you hated how many bad memories of his childhood the city brought up for him.  

The case you were working was women who had their skulls cracked and left in the desert with carvings in their abdomen.  Not your typical case, but working it wasn’t too difficult.  The team ended up narrowing it down to a 30 yr old man who lived in Nevada his whole life.  When we arrested him, in the act of dropping another body stupidly enough, Spencer didn’t move a muscle.  He just slowly lowered his gun as Derek did the muscle work of arresting him.  

Spencer was silent on the way back to the hotel and no one dared push him.  He would open up on his own time.  Once everyone exited the SUV, you took over the drivers wheel and searched for the nearest grocery store.  You got jelly filled chocolate frosted donuts, Spencer’s favorite, and indian takeout.  

You trudged up to his hotel room and fully expected Spencer to not open his door when you knocked.  And you were right. You were met with silence and a still door.  You sat down on the gross hotel floor and leaned your back against the door.  “Just let me keep you company Spencer.”  You knocked your head against the door, planning to sleep out there until he opened it up.  Apparently you didn’t have to wait too long before you stumbled backwards because you didn’t hear the door knob.  

When he opened the door, Spencer just looked defeated.  All you could do was raise yourself up and wrap him in your arms.  You slowly guided him to the bed with the food as he held onto you like his life depended on it.  

“I knew him.”

“What?”

“I knew him.  He used to bully me when I was taking high school classes at age 11.  I couldn’t do anything about it then because no one would believe me and my Mom was having bad episodes then, so no one would believe her.”  He just hiccupped and sobbed into your shoulder letting it all out, and you kept rubbing his back. “Seeing him again just opened up old scars.”  

You couldn’t pretend to know what pain he was going through, but you knew you weren't going anywhere.  You just rubbed his back and laid him down to try to lull him to sleep by running your fingers through his hair and whispering words of reassurance. You assured him that you would be there to scare away any nightmares and keep the demons away.  

You fell asleep like that until morning, until there was a knock on the hotel door.  You tried to slowly untangle yourself from Spencer’s arm grip and answer his hotel door, and of course who is it, Mr. Chocolate Thunder himself (you guessed that or Hotch). 

“What do you want Derek?”

“This is Spencer’s room.”  You looked at him dumbfounded and you’re pretty sure you had bed head.  

“Yeah … and?” Those were the only words that it took for Derek to show those pearly whites in a smirk. 

“Ok, I’ll let you get back to taking care of him.” 

“I was, but not in the way you’re implying.” You whisper-shouted defensively.  “We all know this case was tough on him.  I didn’t want to leave him alone overnight.”  That kinda brought Derek’s mind out of the gutter, because although he teases Spencer to no end, he does look at him like a little brother.  He just smiled and nodded. 

“If you don’t answer your phones, I’ll stop by when I get news about when the plane’s leaving.”  He left it at that before leaving you be.  

You couldn’t sleep much after your encounter even though you were back in Spencer’s arms, so you slept on the plane ride back.  Spencer on the other hand, had gotten the best sleep he had after a hard case in a while.  He was busy playing cards and giving facts to Derek about the history of playing cards.  

“The most common theory of why there are 52 cards in the standard deck is that they correspond with the number of weeks in a year, given the fact that there are 365 individual symbols in a deck of cards, and that the 13 cards match the 13 lunar cycles, and that the 12 court cards match the 12 months of the year.” Spencer explained with his normal air finger movements to match.

“You seem more peppy after a case than usual Reid.”   

“Well this case didn’t affect me as much for some reason. I didn't need as much time to recover from a hard case.”  Derek already knew the reason.  Everyone knew the reason.  That’s what made it hard having a family of profilers.  No secrets can be kept for long.    

“She likes you, you know. And it could turn into something more if you asked her out pretty boy.”  Spencer always knew the risk of trying to make something more between friends, the pros and cons of possibly losing that friend always laid heavily in his mind.  Was it worth the risk?  After seeing first hand how you treated him last night when he was at his lowest (well, not his lowest, but one of his low points), it may just be something more.  The topic was left at that as they finished up their card game and the plane landed back in DC.  

Because of the jet lag, Spencer wasn’t tired and he gauged that the nap you took on the plane ride was effective.  This may be his golden opportunity before he overthought and talked himself out of it.  He waltzed his way around to stand next to you at your desk while you packed up your case paperwork to do at home.  

"Hey, do you maybe… I don't know. Want to get some food then go to that drive in theater outside of town? Together? As a thank you for staying with me last night."  He had no idea if what he was saying was working or cringy. He'd never done this before.  However, you shyly smiled at his shuddering mess.

"Yes Spencer. I would love to go on a date with you." 

Well it apparently worked. 

Summary rest of it: I might do two cases, this first one of the reader being stressed and the 2nd one of spencer being stressed.  Everyone trudges into the bureau really exhausted and spencer says something that the reader needs to come to his place.  They go to his place which we know has a wall of books but some other nerdy things and is very warmly for the reader.  Once she sits on the couch she cries into her hands.  Spencer comes to her side and hugs her while she cries into his shirt thinking it’s her fault the infants died (the UNSUB could be doing it because their kid died due to prematurity/miscarriage and the kids he stole died due to physical abuse because he obviously wasn’t taking care of them).  Spencer stays with her and comforts her with words saying even though it’s upsetting that they died, it’s not her fault and they’re not going to be suffering anymore.  She can’t get them out of her head but she does mention that it’s probably worse for spencer because of his eidetic memory.  

Spencer’s case could be in vegas and the unsub could be a kid who bullied him a lot and the case is just bringing up memories and tearing open old wounds.  Spencer trudges through the case insisting everyone he’s fine.  They end up staying the night after the case ends and decide to leave in the morning.  Reader ends up leaving to go to the corner store to grab tons of snacks and bangs her head on his hotel room door to knock.  She doesn’t even ask if he needs someone to talk to because she knows he’ll say no but he does need someone.  No matter if he wants to talk or not, she wraps him up in a blanket, feeds him good food, and maybe he does start talking.  Morgan could try to get in the room once spencer’s asleep and the reader has to untangle herself from spencer’s arms to open the door and tell him off.  Even though Morgan does tease them a little bit, he does say if he’s okay now, he’ll check up with spencer in the morning.  When he does check in with spencer (either at the bureau or on the plane), spencer says he’s doing better than he usually would after a hard case like this and he’s not sure why, but morgan knows why obviously.  It could end with morgan giving spencer a nudge saying he should ask her out, spencer could rephrase it and actually ask her if she wants to have a movie night just the two of them as a thank you for staying with him when he needed it.  

[quintupleaaaaabattery]

I’m mad at the live action HTTYD. I know it’s simple don’t watch it. That’s probably what y’all gonna say. But this is for many reasons

1. CGI - I don’t see them not butchering this. It’s like you are starting from scratch making dragons try to look realistic and yet diverse. Like there are so many different types of dragons, ranging from terrifying to cute (or in Toothless’s case both). Also the RED DEATH that’s gotta be major scary so it looking really bad CGI takes away the scare factor. It has a very high probability of taking away from the film if the CGI is bad, and also lessens the impact of how we see the dragons.

2. Now onto the casting. (Just making a note, in no way am I doubting the acting talent of those cast, I know that they will kill it.)

First off I couldn’t give a fuck, about Nico Parker playing Astrid.

Oh that takes away blonde Scandinavian representation, it’s historically inaccurate. The whole plot is Vikings riding dragons. It’s not supposed to be historically accurate it is a fantasy world.

Also what Scandinavian representation. The vikings characters either have Scottish accents, whilst all the young dragon riders have American accents. Yes I know Vikings were in America, but they still wouldn’t have an American accent or speaking English. Scandinavian characters does not equal Scottish. They are two different cultures.

The Vikings are also not represented right in the first place, ie it’s a loose representation. They didn’t have the horns on the Helmets, the names are wrong. Astrid’s last name would be Hofferdottir (daughter of Hoffer), for example and Hiccups would be Stoickson (Son of Stoick). There is a paternal naming system with a clear divide on the gender binary (I hope that makes sense, I’m no expert when it comes to Viking naming and I don’t know how to explain it with the correct terms.

Additionally they even present the God’s wrong. If you are actively apart of the fandom re. watched all the content in the franchise not just the movies (no I’m not counting nine realms or rescue riders rest assured), season 1 episode 8, Portrait of Hiccup as a Buff Man, of ROB, mentions Freya as the goddess of fire. In Norse mythology she’s not the goddess of fire, that’s Logi (well he’s the god, and no I don’t mean Loki, I had to do I quick google search as my mythology knowledge is somewhat limited to the Riordan books). Freya is the goddess of love and beauty, and that kind of stuff.

I also have to add if this were era appropriate, and culturally accurate Astrid and Ruffnut and Heather, they wouldn’t be part of the action. Don’t get me wrong Viking women were some feminist queens who lived in a society that was more progressive. They were allowed to divorce their husbands, for mistreating them may it be that they were abusing them. However they still were not expected to fight, their lives and chores were still housebound. If this franchise cared about the ‘culture’ or the ‘historical accuracy’ we would not see these three queens grace our screens being badass and menaces to their adversaries in battle.

Instead it gives POC representation. (And no I am not a POC myself, I’m White so I can’t speak for the experiences of a POC woman because I don’t face the same type discrimination, feel free to add your input if you are POC.) Astrid being a love interest, and a character who is seen as others as a symbol of beauty. So it’s not Eurocentric beauty (blonde hair, blue eyes), but that makes it more impactful. Astrid is this three dimensional warrior goddess who is determined and strong and her being blonde never drove the plot or her character’s actions. Her biggest insecurity is that people view her as less tough because she is pretty not because she is blonde.

Quote, “Just because she's beautiful, people think she's not tough. But you should never underestimate me.”

It doesn’t matter she’s not blonde because she is still beautiful. This allows POC girls to be better represented (I do know that she is still light skinned).

I do think she is a bit too old for the role. Like she’s 18, you haven’t started filming and she just looks older, I mean 21 she doesn’t look 15. So I’m a bit iffy on that, but otherwise let’s get to why I am really boycotting this movie.

I don’t see anyone complaining about the casting of Hiccup, it’s all Astrid. Yet the casting of Mason Thames as Hiccup is problematic.

The main reason as to why I wasn’t looking forward to a live-action adaptation was that I knew that they would butcher it to be an ableist mess. Why isn’t anyone talking about how this movie is taking away disabled - amputee representation. Hiccup, a amputee, is being played by a abled bodied actor.

Now I’m disabled. I’m not physically disabled like Hiccup, so my experiences, limitations and how I am discriminated against are different as I am Autistic (also have ADHD to be mentioned). Let’s be honest though that boy definitely is AuDHD, but that’s not the point. So hopefully you can see why I am upset. (Feel free to add your input if you are physically disabled/an amputee)

By doing this they are taking away one of the only protagonist who is an amputee- and don’t say what about Luke Skywalker - because his disability was magically replaced with a lifelike copy, as if he never lost a hand in the first place, which is problematic in its own right.

Hiccup Haddock clearly is an amputee and is permanently affected by it, their is no cure, but this doesn’t make him any less of a person and whilst he does have limitations, he can still live out a happy fulfilling life. This is a defining aspect of his character and is essential to the plot and moving the story forward.

Now I know your counter argument, but Hiccup only lost his leg at the end of the movie. I know they can CGI it off for that little bit of time and find a way to show a prosthetic leg, but it is still takes away representation. You’re claiming you want these characters to be portrayed accurately but you don’t care if disabled representation is being taken away.

It isn’t authentic representation when a person who doesn’t live as an amputee to play an amputee. They don’t share those experiences. Thus this casting is ableism at it’s finest.

I know Hiccup is a abled bodied for most of the film so that’s why you think it would be more practical for an abled bodied actor, but when they make the sequel what are they gonna do for that? Hiccup is disabled for the rest of the franchise, so it’s counterintuitive in away. They might as well have casted an amputee actor from the beginning.

You might argue that how would they do that as Hiccup loosing is foot is less impactful if he is an amputee from the beginning of the film but have you considered that they just put a boot over it/ cover with clothing. I’m not to sure with the mechanisms but I’m sure they could have figured something out.

And if you are going to argue that it would harder to do and film action/practical scenes, whilst it might be harder (I’m not denying that and might being the key word) but friendly reminder about a certain character who is an amputee from the MCU being Echo (whose currently in line of getting her own series).

I’m honestly wondering why they are doing this in live action in the first point, and I am disappointed in not only the casting but the reactions to the casting, mostly how people aren’t even acknowledging the ableism of the casting and focusing on slamming the casting that was more inclusive and forward thinking. But no, clearly people are to focused on race, (being that all characters in the Viking times have to be white, the least oppressed group and the most represented, which I do include myself as I am aware of the privileges I get because of it) instead of focusing on the erasure of amputee representation.

So that’s it sorry for the long rant/post.

[fogsblue]

horizon tag game

tagged by the amazing @cicadaknight thanks you 💖

1. ride or die ship: Aloy and Kotallo (surprising approximately no one) I'm just here for mutual respect and friendship that has clear potential and teasing for something else

2. most annoying ship: any and all when people are being rude?

3. second favorite ship: uh... too many? poly ships are a fave, with Aloy/Kotallo/other person they both have good dynamics with? but seriously, Aloy has chemistry with so many people?

4. favorite platonic relationship: ALOY AND THE GANG!! Aloy has friends, family and she deserves to have all of them.

5. Underrated ship: Aloy/Kotallo/Zo (look it's lived in my head forever, I don't know if I'll ever write it because I'm also in denial about canon, but just... yes)

6. overrated ship: definitely the Odyssey (yeah, I'm stealing that!)

7. one thing i would change in canon: Varl's death, I will never be over that because what the actual fuck. but aside from that, burning shores bugs me because Aloy finally has friends and family and still does that alone? (yes I know they did it to put Seyka front and centre, but like all of HFW is Aloy building the connections for them to 100% ignored for burning shores...)

8. something canon did right: Letting Aloy grow as a person, to have connections. Kotallo's story, Fashav's role as the bait and switch (I knew Kotallo was important and still got caught by Fashav). Zo's whole side quest tbh.

9. a thing i’m proud of creating for the fandom: definitely Kotaloy Celebration Week and now working on @focusontheheart. proud of some of my fics too...

10. a character who is perfect to me: besides Aloy? but I think Kotallo was so well done, Alva is absolutely amazing, I think Nil is fantastic and I love Petra so much!

11. character i relate to most and why: oh no, they're all way too cool for me... though yeah, Beta sometimes.

12. character(s) i hate most and why: Lansra, Resh for their treatment of Aloy, most of the Nora, but those two are the fucking *worst*. Tekotteh, because ugh, gross. Helis for obvious reasons, and fucking Tilda, mostly for the shit she put Beta through.

13. something i’ve learned from the fandom: this might sound really dumb, but there is joy to be had in encouraging others without thought of them reciprocating, in just seeing them find joy in the making and sharing 💙

14. three tags i seek out on ao3: I mean... Aloy/Kotallo, mutual pining is definitely up there, friends to lovers too. and fluff, I'm weak.

15. a song i associate strongly with my otp/favorite character: I don't really have any, music doesn't always click for me, though this one gives me some major Aloy/Kotallo vibes

tagging, if you want, @nyxianthe @poppypopp @blessedwithgloriousbutt @astralpaint @quiche-draws @hannahmationstudios aaand @mythicaitt

[t3kandson]

Three Makes Me

Word count; 4,027

Fandom; A.C.E., The Boyz, DKB

Pairing; Reader X Lee Donghun, Reader X Kim Sunwoo, Reader X Yang Heechan

Characters; Lee Donghun, Kim Sunwoo, Yang Heechan, Kang Yuchan. Mentions Park Junhee, Kim Sehyoon, Kim Byeongkwan, Choi Chanhee, Bae Jacob & Lee Sangyeon.

Warning; Angst, Jealousy, Polyamory, Choking, Oral (receiving) & Rough sex.

Notes; Chapter 6/10 Earlier Chapters found here.

Series written for @lidongsa.

Taglist; @ilovechanhee

There was no way on hell you was letting Donghun speak to you like that. How did he think he could throw this revelation at you and walk away. Junhee and Cae’s comforting words not reaching you as you started feeling bitter about this shitty outcome.

What was you suppose to do with it? You would be lying if dating Donghun hadn’t crossed your mind. He complimented you, been your rock, held your tears, kicked your ass when you needed it. But as often as you had thought of it, you was too far in deep with two other men. If you couldn’t choose between them there was no way you could choose a third.

You twisted ignoring the calls of your name behind you, storming out the apartment in pursuit of the asshole who had just thrown you into a complicated confusing dilemma.

You soon found him head slumped into his palm over his car, Chan comforting him. “I fucked it Chan,” he cried, tears flowing to the roof of the car. “No your confused Donghun she will understand, she’s the most understanding woman I know,” Chan complimented. “I basically called her a whore,” Donghun said raising his head to face his younger. “Did you really mean it?” Chan asked looking anxious for his reply. “No you know I didn’t, I’m just so hurt that since they came into her life I’ve been forgotten. Like I don’t count, like I don’t matter,” he said slamming his head back to the cold metal. “Tell her that,” Chan said rubbing his back. “She won’t listen, not now, she’s better off without me in her life,” Donghun said letting the tears fall heavier.

“How fucking dare you throw this shit on me and think you have the right to run off,” you scold startling them both. Silence hit the air as awkwardness attacks you all. “Maybe you should take this some where a little more private, I think you both need to talk,” Chan said smiling at Donghun as he walked past you. “Apologise to Junhee for me,” you said out to the dark night, “I will,” he throws out making his way back for the warmth of the party you was sure you just ruined.

Donghun opened the door to his car for you to slip in which you did silently. The car ride being more awkward then the pathway outside Junhee’s home.

You opened the door to your apartment, Donghun following like a silent shadow. “Drink?” You asked in attempt to dethaw the icy tension. “No I’m ok thanks,” Donghun said sitting on the sofa as you watched him, seeing him in a new light. Those eyes that was your comfort was the same eyes that right now was burning right into your core. Your memories of the sweet cuddles, you had been very intimate for just a friendship. His jealousy in Sunwoo which was fresh from the start should have been a sign. You orgasming to the sound of his voice hit your thoughts as you bit your lips trying to analyse it all.

“How long?” You asked him as he looked at you confused. “How long have you been in love with me?” You asked as he looked to his hands.

The view of the large palms that held you tightly with great comfort made you want them around your throat. You shook your head, how had one revelation have your mind going crazy thinking of him in this way.

“I always have,” he whispered looking ashamed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You shot out as you sat down. “Because I never wanted to lose you as a friend,” he said as his fingers laced into each other. “But you told me tonight,” you said confused as he sucked his lips in. “Junhee did actually,” he reminded you. “But they was true words that you obviously confessed to him instead of me,” you said tilting your head.

“I would have lost you Suchan and you would be looking at me with disappointment like you are now,” he said tears falling at the corner of his eye.

You moved to sit closer to him resting your hand on his thigh for him to glance your way. You smiled at him letting his features relax, “I’m not disappointed because you have feelings for me. I’m disappointed that you had to call me such horrible things because you couldn’t tell me,” you said as he closed his eyes remembering his words.

“I don’t think your a whore, I’m a bitter old man,” Donghun said biting his lips.

“Do you think I haven’t had these thoughts too?” You said earning his interest to peak.

“Do you think I haven’t been aroused when you’ve held me? Confused even that there was moments I wanted more?” You added as his eyes lifted. “You have?” He asked trying to hold his excitement at your words. “But Donghun Your too late, what can I do with this information now,” you said honestly. “I love Sunwoo,” you added to the pain of witnessing his. “And Heechan?” He asked making your brain process tighten as you thought briefly for your emotions of the very guy who made you feel loved in every way possible. “I love him too but it’s in a different way,” you smiled, “Sunwoo and Heechan are two different kind of people,” you added. “And me?” He asked almost pleadingly. “I love you too Donghun, your my best friend, my rock my everything, again a different love,” you smiled. “So you do love me then?” He asked like a lost child almost. “Yes but I can’t give you what you want, my life is far too complicated now,” you replied. “Because you would never choose me over them?” He asked, his eyes almost impatient for your response. “It’s not that I won’t choose, it’s that I won’t give them up,” you admitted as silence fell on you both.

“Donghun,” you choked as he stood up tears falling from his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said tearfully as he went to walk towards the door. “Donghun don’t leave,” you begged, tears falling from your own. “It was too late for me to tell you how I felt, it’s now too late I’ve lost you,” Donghun said briefly at the door opening it to leave. “What are you saying?” You cried rushing to him.

He turned to face you with his feet in the hallway, “tell me how we can come back from this?” he asked, his eyes closed not even wanting to view you. Your brain becoming numb as your words couldn’t process anything anymore. Sighing he closed the door leaving you to fall to the floor in a pool of tears.

“Right sweetheart snap out of it,” Heechan said rolling off you as Sunwoo came in the bed room with his wash cloth to clean you from their fill of you. “What,” you blinked confused at Heechans words. “What ever that’s fucking with your head either spill it or ditch it,” he said pulling you into him closer. “He’s right baby you’ve been weird the last couple of days. If it’s what Chanhee said ignore him, he knows nothing about us, about this,” Sunwoo said slinking his arms around your waist spooning you. “It’s not Chanhee,” you said as Heechan looked at you with concern in his eyes. “Jacob or Sangyeon then?” Sunwoo asked. “No none of them, different set of friends,” you said biting your lips.

Sunwoo turned you on to your back snatching you from Heechan’s arms as he sat up. “It’s those older guys you hang around with isn’t it, it was that guys party you went to the other day?” Sunwoo enquired. You nodded not feeling you could say anymore words. “What they don’t like what we’re doing?” Heechan asked. “Suchan there just the older generation, this just doesn’t seem normal to them, but it is,” he added leaning in to press kisses against your temple.

“My best friend told me he is in love with me,” you confessed. Sunwoo growled as he kept upright as Heechan’s eyes widened confused. “Donghun?” Sunwoo whispered in almost fear. “What did you say?” Heechan asked also looking worried for where the conversation was going. “That I wouldn’t give you both up for him,” you admitted as Sunwoo signed with relief. Heechan remained in deep thought before looking at you with concern. “Do you have feelings for him then?” He asked as silence filled the air. “If I said I never thought of him in a sexual way then sorry I can’t lie,” you said biting your lip as Sunwoo hugged his thighs closer to him. “So your attracted to him then?” Heechan continued to Quiz. You nodded into the silence as Sunwoo and Heechan looked at each other bewildered with this information.

“Look can we drop it now because it won’t ever happen and now Donghun doesn’t even want to be my friend,” you said closing your eyes before they witnessed the tears that was threatening to fall. When you opened them they both had laid back down hugging into you as you felt secure between them both.

The week had dragged with Donghun not being mentioned by Sunwoo or Heechan. Donghun still hadn’t contacted you or even responded to your messages. Leaving them unread was a bitter painful feeling to endure that had unsettled you since. Your phone bleeped and with little excitement read the message just sent by one of your boyfriends.

Heechan @2.52pm; Dinner tonight on me, be ready for 7pm ❤️

You placed your phone upside down you really wasn’t in the mood for a date night. However, you knew that it wasn’t Heechan’s fault about your mood, you could at the very least make an effort for him.

You answered the door with Heechans favourite dress and make up and was in horror when you saw Donghun standing there. Flowers in his hand and a takeaway had your mind process stolen from you.

“You going to let me in?” Donghun asked pulling you out the brainless home he had thrown you in. You stood back from the door letting him pass through. “Donghun, this isn’t a good time I’ve got,” “I’m today’s date not Heechan,” he cut you off as your mind swirled in confusion. “Heechan came to me yesterday with Sunwoo,” he explained looking for a vase. “We had a conversation and came to a conclusion,” he added fishing the Crystal glass out for the flowers. “About what?” You asked confused, as he went to the draw for the scissors. “About us,” he replied his eyes capturing yours. “Let’s have dinner first and then I can tell you what we agreed,” he smiled as he arrange the flowers that he had stem cut. “Don’t just stand there looking pretty go get some dishes,” he smirked playfully that your heart leapt out in desire to hug your best friend once more.

You set the table as Donghun fished out the Chinese, talking about Byeongkwan and Sehyoon’s crazy drinking contest days prior. He made you feel as if the last week hadn’t happened like you had got your best friend back. But this time those thoughts of holding him more tighter then normal, to feel his body against you, everything that you shouldn’t think of a friend hit you. It was as if his very confession despite not being an option had your imagination floating.

“Earth to Suchan,” he chuckled as he sat down smirking your way. “You look cute when you blush,” he teased with a wink that made your core on fire. “Sorry,” you said shyly as you placed some of the food on your plate. “If I knew telling you i wanted you would have you lose the ability to talk, I would have done it sooner to save the headaches your chatter gives me,” he said playfully. You scowled at him flipping him off earning a deeper laugh as he shook his head amused. “Oh look theirs my princess, she’s back home,” he teased popping some food in his mouth. Though he had often called you princess, the way he said it this time left goosebumps on your skin.

Your silence scared him a little as he continued to talk about what the guys had been getting up to. When you had finished the last mouthful of the feast he had Brought you he looked anxiously at you.

“Suppose we need this talk,” he said pushing his own plate aside as he leaned on the table. “Heechan and Sunwoo came to me yesterday, they told me you’ve not been right since, well you know since when,” he added before sipping his beer. “Anyway we all had a deep discussion, and we all want the same thing, we feel the same things for you,” he said softly. “And what’s that?” You asked intrigued where the conversation was going.

“We’re in love with you, we want you,” he said his eyes widening with desire behind them. “But as I said I won’t choose you over them,” you said feeling sadness in your words being repeated. “What if I told you you didn’t have to,” Donghun said tilting his head as your brows furrowed into the conversation.

“What if I told you if we came to the conclusion as long as you wanted it…. to share you,” he said almost a whisper with little confidence. “So you would have three boyfriends,” he confirmed so you couldn’t get confused. “You’d share me,” you said struggling to claw at his words. “Yes,” he confirm simply as he tensed waiting for your reply. “Why?” You asked as your mind went almost numb. “Because I’ve stepped too far to go back to friendship and I love you too much to lose you,” he confessed. “Donghun you are jealous as hell it wouldn’t work,” you said refusing to accept his happy ever after conclusion. “Your my heart Suchan as long as you love me back and never toss it away then I would bare the burden of sharing you with others,” he said getting off his chair to make his way towards you. “The pain of being without you is far more a burden then a little bit of jealousy,” he smiled cupping your face. “You hate them,” you said still struggling to come to terms with his proposal. “I hated them because I thought they was using you, because I didn’t know them, my judgement was wrong,” he confessed.

“They love you Suchan, they want what’s best for you over there own desires. Heechan’s a really good guy,” he said smiling. “And Sunwoo?” you asked tilting your head knowing the times they had met they barely shared eye contact. “I think he hides behind an image, the reality is more humane then who he likes to pretend he is,” he said continuing to smile at you. “What have they said about this?” You asked head still full of questions. “It was Heechan’s idea, Sunwoo seemed happy to go along with it too,” he replied.

Your memory swiping over Heechan’s set up of the nights date. He really had been ok with this set up Donghun had thrown out. “Look I’m going to go for a walk get some more beers, think it over, chat with Sunwoo and Heechan for confirmation if you have to. If you want this, message me we’re make a toast to our new set up,” he pleaded as he walked to pick his coat up. “But if I don’t hear from you I will go home and take comfort in the beer,” he lightly jokes.

With that you are left with your thoughts and confusions in your apartment. You pick your phone up setting up a new group chat.

You @9.21pm; Ok why? What’s going on? You seriously ok with what you are all proposing?

Heechan @9.25pm; You had the talk then?

You @9.27pm; No shit Sherlock.

Sunwoo @9.30pm; We had to do something, you was miserable.

Heechan @9.31pm; You didn’t push him away again did you? And for the record I am more then happy for an extra person to be added. It’s always fun watching you weak by our cocks 😉.

Sunwoo @9,34pm; You just had to go there didn’t you 🙈. Also I’m fine with it as long as it doesn’t change us.

You @9.37pm; Even if it means less time as I have to spend time with him too you know.

Heechan @9.40pm; As long as I get to watch sometimes I’m fine 😉.

Sunwoo @9.42pm; I’m fine with it Suchan. Only you could get excited about a new playmate in the bedroom department. I worry about you Heechan. 🙄.

Heechan @9.45pm; You love it my chocolate poodle 😉.

Sunwoo @9.46pm; Shut up.

Heechan @9.50pm; So we are agreed you are to call Donghun back and add an extra person to our happy little family? 👏👏

Sunwoo @9.52pm; We are not a happy family. We fuck, family’s don’t fuck! Yes I agree call Donghun back.

Heechan @9.55pm; Stop being a downer! I’m adding Donghun in.

Yang Heechan added Lee Donghun to ‘What the hell guys?’ group chat.

Yang Heechan changed, ‘What the hell guys?’ Group chat to ‘welcome to the family hyung,’

Sunwoo @9,59pm; 🙄🙄🙄

Heechan @10.02pm; Ignore him Hyung he’s just jealous he didn’t have a welcome to the family ceremony. Please tell me our crazy girl called you back.

You @10.05pm; Crazy girl right here you know!!!!!!!!!

Heechan @10.10pm; Good good now go get your man. Donghun don’t forget the condoms we don’t want a who’s the daddy situation right now do we 😉😂

You @10.15pm; OMG Heechan.

Sunwoo @10.16pm what is wrong with you man. Your going to scare the poor man away. Plus we all know she’s on the pill!

Donghun @10.20pm; If you met my friends you would see I’m use to it 😂. Thanks for the warm welcome, though still awaiting an official one from the lady herself.

You @10.25pm; Lady 🤔 that’s a new saying from you 🤣. I was about to message you personally but it seems we are now all open. So that toast sounds good.

You couldn’t bare to read the cringy messages any more and placed your phone down.

In that moment you felt crazy, three boyfriends was going to be out of this world. But you was worried that the third person would force the cracks to start appearing. Deep down you knew it was worth the rush to explore this new confusing situation. Heechan sounded more excited then you. Sunwoo seemed ok, you was sure a third person would calm his concern of an attachment. Donghun seemed to be happy to hold you in any way you could package it up for him. Even though you was worried that the jealousy would be too intense for him.

When the door went you opened it to Donghun’s beaming smile of happiness content. He wasted no time smashing his lips to yours growling in the process. Pushing you to the wall as he devoured you, his hands searched in a deep hungry frenzy as if he had been let out to freedom as a caged animal. His lips ravished you with refusal to stop for you to breathe in air. Grips almost rough around your wrist as it pinned you against the wall. Oxygen depleting, you pushed his shoulders backwards to let the air rush in to your lungs.

“What?” Donghun asked looking concerned, “you know to live we need oxygen right?” you smirked.

“Breathing is so over rated,” he said mischievously before his lips return to deplete you more. “I need to fuck you,” he said between kisses. “I need to make love to you and I will, but I need you so badly right now I am going to combust otherwise,” he said panting while searching your eyes for permission. “Then take me anyway you need to,” you say biting your lips. “Your going to regret saying that,” he chuckles with a wink. “Test me,” you mock as he slides his tongue down the inside of his cheek in almost despair. “Oh I will princess, trust me I will,” he growls.

His fingers finding their way to your pants, he yanks at the material tearing them. “You didn’t like them did you princess? I will buy some new ones,” he promised with his eyes dark with more then lust. He drops himself to his knees as he looks up to you, Desire lurking in his dark brown eyes. Teeth raking up your thighs letting his canines pinch into the skin, he gently bites on your upper inner thigh. Stifling a chuckle he hoists you up by your ass to rest your thighs over his shoulder. While your own presses in the wall, your hands grip his hair as his mouth latches onto your core.

“Shit,” you cry as he suckles harshly around your clit. Eating you as if your his last meal he ravishes you licking up every juice dripping from your core. Tongue slipping up to rub against your walls has your moans start to slip. His deep suction is driving you crazy as you rock yourself around his awaiting mouth letting his nose occasionally bump around your folds. Your high building as his grip around your ass cheek tightens as he drags your heat along his torturous tongue. His growls vibrating up your core is what finally pushes you over the edge, your orgasm around his tongue lets him taste every drop of your high.

Using the wall and his strong upper arms, he hoists you as he stands holding you against the wall. With one hand, he lets his fingers play with his belt and buttons of his jeans, letting them alongside his pants drop to the floor. Returning his hands to help lower you so your legs are around his waist instead, he thrusts against you, his hardened member connecting with your throbbing heat.

Lips crashing with yours as he draws the movement out to enjoy every second of your tongues and lips meeting. Hands positioning himself he guides you down his shaft, cry’s leaving your throat spills as he splits your heat too. You can tell from your struggling core that his girth is quite chunky. He lets the slide continue with a slower pace to help you accommodate him, letting his kisses wash down your cry’s.

Once he knows your ready he has no mercy on you, making the tears fall once more. Harsh thrust against you being more intense due to the wall not letting you freedom to move. The pain doesn’t last long as it’s accompanied with the tingling wave of pleasure. Your walls clenched around his member as deep moans escaped his lips, “I so need to cum in you, I want to fill you up,” he growls as his lips clamp around your neck.

Marking you up with a necklace between his thrusts, his hands rest above them. “I want to choke the prettiness out you princess,” he threatens and his desire fires a heat in the Pit of your stomach. “Do it,” you cry wanting him to own you in every way possible.

His hands grip around your throat gently at first till he knows your enjoying it just as much as he is. The grip tightens as he feels your walls cling to his meaty member fucking you hard and crazy. Thighs trembling you know your high nears and the sounds of your moans spurs his own chase on. The grip tightening around your throat and the hip he is hoisting you up with. A growl leaves his throat and it’s enough to undo you as you crash into the oblivion that he has thrown you in. White stars clouding your vision as you cry through your comedown. It spurs him into his very own as he fills you with streams of his hot seedy cum, condom long forgot.

Panting over his shoulder his lips crash back to yours, peace and contentment on his face as he loses himself to you. His member twitching inside you letting you know you won’t be sleeping the rest of the night.

Previous Chapter. Next chapter

Full Masterlist

A.C.E.'s Masterlist

[shamelessrabbithole]

Serious question, Bunny, how do you think Cameron sees/perceives his fans? I think for him there are two groups: people from the Shameless fandom (and who are also into Gallavich, maybe even Mosher) and people who follow him from Star Wars.

I get vibes that he might just... not like them very much (unless maybe he gets a kid fan or a very pretty fan). He does his job and he does it well at cons but yeah, that's it. And he doesn't owe to fans for more than the service they purchase (which is a picture, a brief talk, etc), of course. It saddens me that the Shameless experience for him ended up being not so good because I know his character and Mickey means a lot for a lot of fans but I don't think he likes it a lot. I checked some comments from fans at cons asking him to sign his favorite Gallavich quote on a fanart or something and he said nothing came to mind and to please remind him or something. And again, I get that but idk. If fans know his own script by memory, how come he doesn't remember like one or two phrases from the role he played for years?

It specially saddens me because I loved him as Ian Gallagher so so much, and I'm sure that character is just buried in the past and he'd rather not being asked about it. Worst thing is that Ian Gallagher happens to look a lot like him (Jerome Valeska for instance doesn't, neither does his role in The Giver or his other movies). So I see him in pictures and I kind of see Ian, and I think of Ian being 31 like him and so on.

There's really a minimal chance I'd be able to see him in a con unless he comes to my country but even then, I don't think I'd go to see him. I would feel afraid that he'd think I'm either an annoying fangirl who can't get over a series or, well, Idk how he feels about his SW fans, but some people in general aren't very kind to geeky kind of fans. I know I'm probably just proyecting and I'm sure other actors who played LGTB roles might feel the same, specially if they were "shipped" but yeah I can't help feeling like that. It truly feels for me like paying for him to pretend to like me as a fan for two or three minutes. I'm still kind of sad about today news so that's why I'm thinking all this stuff, I believe.

I posted about this subject a little while ago. I wrote that Cam sees people as those with and without a SAG card. It was probably very mean of me, but I guess I was in a mood that day. But, essentially, I feel he is willing to give his time in a real, meaningful way to meeting people in his own industry. Whether they are an actor or a filmmaker or a game developer or an artist, as long as they have some connection to his own line of work, or tangentially to his inner circle, being a model or a deejay or an influencer, then they're worth the effort.

Everyone else falls under the heading of fan or "other," like a service person who cleans his hotel room or gives him a ride in their Uber. I think he's perfectly nice to service people; I don't get the sense he's unkind or a diva. Fans, however, have become a sea of faces for him, because how could they not at this point? He meets thousands every few months and there's no way he can parse them out and decipher among them.

I'm sure he's especially nice to children and maybe a pretty girl will pique his attention too, although, I think he's rather even-keeled at these things and doesn't show much favoritism in that way. I also don't know if he expressly feels more connected to Jedi fans versus Gotham or Shameless fans, but the Shameless fandom is the root of the toxicity he's experienced, so it's possible he can sense an unhinged Shameless fan from a mile a way and is more likely to move them along and out of his autograph line the quickest.

I also understand how you feel about wanting to meet him, but only under the circumstances where he'd see you as a person and not a dollar sign. Or that it wouldn't be so strictly limited and timed for efficiency, so that you feel like a cog in an assembly line. It's something I definitely struggle with too and I feel this unique pain often. And exquisitely. 🫂

[theghostpinesmusic]

I've been pretty obsessively watching Goose livestreams and archived concert videos since late 2019, but never really share much online about my enthusiasm for the band. Unless you know me in person or have listened to my currently-on-hiatus KTEC radio show in the past, you likely have no sense of how fully this band has completely taken over the Phish-shaped space in my brain over the last four years. And...maybe that's a good thing for you?

Part of the reason I don't post much about the band specifically (or the music I listen to in general) is that most people I know don't get the overwhelming level of joy out of live music that I do. Which is, obviously, fine. Different strokes for different folks and all that. The other part is that even those who like live music don't often go in for jam band music. There tends not to be a lot of actual crossover in the potential Venn diagram of people who freak out over getting to be in the stadium for one night of a Taylor Swift tour and people who freak out because this third version of "Arcadia" the band has played on this tour is *definitely* the best jam from the six shows they've attended over the last seven nights.

I mean, there's not *no* overlap, but...let's just say jam band fandom is kind of its own thing. It's sort of like being a baseball fan, but somehow nerdier. And your team never actually loses.

Anyway, long story short: I just happened upon this YouTube channel that posts webcast excerpts from Goose shows, which means I can write about and share some of my favorite recent performances without constantly dropping three hour long full-show videos that nobody is going to realistically watch into my feed.

Of course, it's possible that nobody is realistically going to watch a twenty-four minute video either, but shh...

I'm just finishing up catching up on the band's recent European tour, so I'm starting with this video, of "Madhuvan" from the opening show of the tour, which took place in Paris.

"Madhuvan" has long been one of my favorite Goose songs, partially because it's both a fun and interesting song musically and partially because I like the lyrics a lot as they speak to (as many of the band's songs do in some form) the transitory nature of life and the value of focusing on the present moment instead of on wealth, fame, popularity, or other similar things. If you're interested, the lyrics are here.

The "formal," composed part of the song in this video runs up through 6:50 and feels a bit more raw and rock-and-roll than usual. Either it's just my imagination, or it's the fact that the band was touring in smaller venues than usual throughout Europe and were all playing with at least somewhat stripped-down gear. Maybe it's both?! It's probably both.

Either way, after Rick's initial, brief guitar solo, we're off into the improvisatory part. Lately, it's felt to me like the band is deconstructing each version of "Madhuvan" that they play, trying to get more and more minimalist at the beginning of the jam and seeing what they can build up and into from (nearly) nothing. This version's no different in that regard.

The first little bit is what I often noncanonically think of as a space jam: there's no real melody or beat to follow, and everyone is just sort of chaotically throwing noises around to see what happens. This sort of thing can get kind of boring to me if it goes on for minutes at a time (The Grateful Dead's "Drums/Space" sequences have a mixed reputation for this reason), but here it's just brief bit of casting about and it's fun to be along for the ride. Then, around 8:30, a catchy riff that Peter is somehow playing both on his keyboard and guitar at the same time emerges and everyone else falls in musically around it.

This riff and Trevor's basslines lead the band along through a few minutes of this really unique musical space that, during my watch of the entire show a few weeks ago I thought of as "Evil Salsa." Like most jam bands, the "up front" melody instruments (guitars and keys) tend to overshadow the rhythm instruments in the mix during most of Goose's jams, and I'm a big fan of this section of this "Madhuvan" specifically because the percussion and bass are way more upfront than usual. I'm pretty much always going to enjoy hearing Trevor drive things.

The jam starts to metamorphose a bit around 13:00, as Rick starts chording a little more aggressively and Peter joins in shortly after. We're in a little bit more standard blues territory here, but the percussion stays in backbeat mode for a minute, producing some neat tension.

At about 14:00, the transition into the next stage of the jam is complete, and now we're in much more bread-and-butter territory for Goose: a major-key blissful gallop with Rick's guitar taking the lead. This is great, but it just kinda rolls along in the same vein for a bit, so I'll skip over picking through every detail...

It's at about 18:45 when Rick interrupts the gallop the band has going by holding on to a particularly grungy chord for a bit. The rest of the band immediately adjusts to reform the music around this move (this is the stuff I absolutely love hearing bands like this one do), and then shortly after we're off on another upbeat section of the jam that nonetheless has a bit of a noisier and messier inflection than the previous few minutes.

This bit roils along for a few minutes before Rick breaks the tension at 21:15 right after throwing a look at Trevor to warn him a key change is coming. This change resolves the tension of the previous jam space, making you feel suddenly relieved and happy even if you know literally nothing about music theory. If you're an absolute dork like me, you'll notice at this point that they're back in the key that "Madhuvan" starts in, which usually means it's about time to wrap things up.

There's a little more fun breakdown/tension action happening at 22:00, but we're otherwise locked in to the rush toward the song's composed conclusion at this point, so everyone's having a good time. The last minute or so is the song's typical ending.

I've really been enjoying watching the videos from the band's Europe tour, and this version of "Madhuvan" was probably the top highlight of the first night for me. For me, it's a song that a) is fun and well-written from a songwriter's standpoint as well as b) one that the band almost always seems to take as an opportunity to improvise outside of the kind of playing I usually hear from them. There's a lot of that in the first few minutes of the jam here, and then a lot more of that in the version of "Red Bird" that follows. I guess my only complaint about this video is that it's not the full Madhuvan > Red Bird combo from the Paris show :)

I'll be back before too long with some words (fewer than this time, most likely!) on the version of "Hot Tea" from the band's next night in Germany! Thanks for reading.