#because anytime I try to start I get overwhelmed by this dread feeling that this is time I am wasting not actively making money

[theambivalentagender]

Fellow mentally ill people out there, how do I get my mind to let go of a constant anxious thought that won't leave me for days on end when none of the typically suggested things work?

[kurtie4life96]

when the party's over.

E.M. x F Reader drabble

Summary: That night in the Upside Down changed everything between you and Eddie.

CW: MDNI 18+, extreme angst, (soft) smut, mentions of drinking, smoking, arguing, injuries, dialogue taken from season 4

Loosely based on the song by Billie Eilish.

"Oh my god, Eddie!"

"Pretty bad, huh?" He sputtered, his hair matted with blood and dirt as you held the back of his head.

"No, no you're fine, we just gotta get you to a hospital, okay?" Your voice cracked as panic gripped every muscle in your body.

"Okay."

You tried to lift him up, tried to get his bloodied body off the cold ground, but he'd grunted in pain, dead weight, too heavy to carry, so you tore your shirt, frantically trying to stop the bleeding from his neck, but it was no use.

There was a moment of silence between you two, the only noise in the background from demobats and other unholy creatures in their habitat of the Upside Down.

An ominous, dreadful feeling settled itself in your stomach as you looked at his brutalized body in horror- pieces of him bitten off all over his legs, arms, sides, and neck as he lied in a pool of his own blood, motionless.

Reality only settled in more when his glossed over eyes turned to look at you, and he smiled- a type of smile that without words, told you he wasn't going to make it.

"I think it's my year now," Eddie's voice shook as he choked out more blood, a smile still on his face, "I think it's finally my year."

"Eddie, no, please..." you quietly sobbed, pleading with him, holding him as close as you could without hurting him further, hot tears rolling down your cold cheeks.

"I love you." He confessed, his body beginning to shudder uncontrollably beneath yours.

"I love you too, Eddie," you assured your dearest friend through sobs, "I'll always love you."

It'd been 5 months since Eddie Munson died in your arms.

It'd also been 5 months since Eleven found the two of you, and restarted his heart, saving his life.

Eddie had healed from his injuries, went on to graduate, and, of course, flipped Principal Higgins off.

He'd also told you, over time, that he meant what he said when he'd told you he loved you.

You told him you meant it too. Yet, you also told him that you couldn't be together.

It was too risky, too dangerous to start something romantic with a friend, when there was a possibility you could lose him again, or he could lose you. The fight with Vecna wasn't over.

The two of you had argued about it numerous times, and as much as you wanted to be with him, be something more than friends, you were just too damn scared.

Eddie eventually said he understood, after months of trying to convince you otherwise, because you wouldn't let up. But this also caused a rift between you two.

Anytime you were around each other, there would be this strong tension in the air, this push and pull, and by refusing to do anything about it, you'd eventually distanced yourselves from each other.

You thought that you would go numb, that your feelings for Eddie would eventually subside, but it was sure taking an awfully long time.

And you missed him more than anything. But his presence was too overwhelming for you. The event that took place was too traumatic for you to even converse with him.

Trauma is just funny like that.

And now here you were, 5 months later, at someone's house party that you didn't even know the name of.

Music boomed throughout the fairly large house, a giant crowd of belligerent teenagers and young adults scattered throughout it.

Everyone was dancing obnoxiously, shouting, doing shots and shotgunning beers. Well, everyone except for you and Robin.

The two of you stood in the corner of the living room people watching, sipping on a red solo cup of a mixed drink like the usual wallflowers you were, snickering and making fun of everyone.

You were dressed similarly- tank top, flannel, and high waisted shorts, a perfect outfit for a warm August evening.

"Check out Tammy Thompson's moves," you giggled, leaning against Robin's shoulder.

"Oh my god."

She put a hand up to her face and hung her head low with secondhand embarassment, before the two of you bursted into laughter, stomachs hurting and pushing each other back and forth, before Robin's laughter stopped abruptly.

"What, what happened?" You chuckled, still smiling at her.

"Look," she whispered, a sense of urgency in her voice.

You glanced over to where she stared, to find Eddie Munson on the other side of the room, gazing at you with soft eyes, a kind grin on his face, seemingly amused with your good mood.

Your smile slowly faded and your heart dropped, going silent, and his did too, his gaze hardening before he looked away quickly, averting his eyes back to the group of teenagers he'd previously been speaking with.

"Shit," you murmured under your breath, staring into your cup and fiddling with the straw.

"I wish you guys would just talk, or fuck, or something," Robin emphasized, taking a sip of her drink.

"Yeah, right," you scoffed playfully, raising your eyebrows, refusing to look back up at him, "shoulda known he'd be at a party, selling weed or whatever it is he's doing now."

"Go talk to him," she suggested, shoving her shoulder against yours, "this is stupid. You love each other."

"I can't, Robin, I just can't," you reasoned with her, though your heart ached, "everytime I see him, I just... see him die all over again... plus, I've been drinking, probably not a good idea."

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, please. You've had one drink. Neither of you are leaving Hawkins anytime soon. You can either stare at each other like creeps forever, or you can just clear the air."

She motioned her head for you to look at him, and you sighed, slowly averting your eyes back to Eddie to find him observing you once again.

His throat bobbed, studying your body language cautiously as you continued to stare back, taking note of his furrowed eyebrows, pursed lips, and long dark curls.

Damn it.

"Fine," you groaned, keeping eye contact with him, "but it's not gonna change anything."

You began to trek through the sea of the intoxicated crowd towards the backyard, knowing well that Eddie would get the hint and follow after you.

"Yay!" Robin exclaimed, "Love you! Be good! Hey, Tammy!"

You opened the sliding glass door and walked outside, not bothering to close it behind you as you knew Eddie would be out momentarily.

You stood on the back deck, arms crossed as you peered off into the night sky. Your stomach was doing backflips in anticipation- no- nervousness as you awaited his presence, counting the seconds as they went by.

11 seconds and you heard a couple of heavy footsteps behind you, the door gently slide shut, and a couple more steps walking towards you.

With a sharp inhale and exhale, you turned around, arms still crossed and took in the heartbreaking sight before you.

Eddie Munson.

He stared at you, hands in his pockets, a melancholy, yet empathetic look in his eyes, and you looked down to your feet, shuffling them back and forth, unsure of what to say.

Another moment passed before he asked, "Cigarette?"

Another moment passed before you answered in a flat voice, "Sure."

He handed you one, putting another between his lips, lighting the tip of his before using the same flame to light yours as you leaned forward into it, taking a long drag and giving him a small nod of appreciation.

"So," he exhaled, "what're we doing out here?"

"Robin." You blew out smoke, flicking your cigarette constantly in an anxious manner.

Eddie nodded, "Figures."

"Mhm," You nodded back, focusing on anything but him, until you felt that same tension, that same push and pull feeling crawling back towards you.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing," he flicked his cigarette, his lips curling into a smile, "just that I figured you wouldn't talk to me unless someone told you to."

You frowned, looking to your feet again and your chest tightened, "That's not true."

"Yeah, it is," he chuckled sarcastically, "I mean, you avoid me at all fucking costs-"

"Stop it," you demanded, now scowling at him, "you act like I hate you-"

"No, it's fine," he interrupted, a shit eating grin on his face as he leaned back nonchalantly, "everyone hates me. I hate me, too. It's alright."

"Eddie," you looked at him with disbelief, "that is absolutely not true, I-"

"You what?" He took a step forward to you now, peering down at you, "you, what? Love me?"

You stared into him, faces now inches apart, feeling provoked, "You know I do."

"Yeah, right," he laughed, throwing his arms up in the air, voice getting louder, "that's why you just love to be around me, you know it's not my fault what happened-"

"Eddie," you warned quietly, "let me speak."

"Oh, so now, now all the sudden you've got so much to say? Are you fucking kidding me? Jesus christ, pick a way to be-"

"Let. Me. Talk!" You raised your voice, instantly feeling bad for it, but stood your ground anyway.

He let out a small laugh of disbelief, staring into your eyes, before he leaned back again, taking another puff of his cigarette, motioning for you to continue.

"Let me talk, please, okay?" You sighed.

He nodded impatiently, only making you angrier.

"Eddie, I love you. And I'm so fucking scared to lose you," tears prodded at your eyes now, "I know what happened wasn't your fault. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's my fault. And I feel it, and I relive the experience everytime I look at you. I've learned what it's like to lose you, and I am fucking terrified that I will again. I could lie, I could say I like it like this-"

You choked back a sob, earning a concerned look from Eddie's face, "Wait, hold on, it's not your fault either, don't say that-"

"Stop interrupting me!" You cried, tears rolling hot over your cheeks now, "I can't be with you the way you want me to, the way I want to, because I don't want to be in love with you, plan some kind of future with you, only to lose you again, or for you to lose me. So please, stop doing this to me!"

"I love you!" He shouted as he lunged towards you, his face turning red, curled up in pain as he attempted to hold yours, "I love you so much that it fucking hurts, and I can't do this, I'll never be able to look at you, and not love you-"

You took a step back, swatting Eddie's hands away, "Please, let me let you go. I can't do this. I can't keep telling you the same thing- I'm fuckin outta here-"

You shoved your way past him, opening the back door and storming aimlessly through the crowd.

"Hey!" Robin yelled at you, "where are you going?"

"I've got a ride," you lied, not bothering to make eye contact as you head out the front door, starting your journey home on foot.

You sobbed as you walked down the streets, not even knowing if you were headed the right direction, mascara staining your face as you stumbled and stopped every few steps to catch your breath, the emotional pain becoming physical as you leaned over to gasp, an even deeper sob from the last leaving your chest each time.

"Nothing's better sometimes," you tried to reassure yourself that you were doing the right thing as you trekked down the dark streets of Hawkins.

Normally you would feel scared, worried that you were walking home alone in the middle of the night, knowing what monstrosities could be around you and even underneath you, but not this time. This time, that was the last thing on your mind. And the first thing on your mind was Eddie.

Eddie. Oh, how you loved that boy so god damn much, it ached every bone in your body. All you wanted to do was be with him, more than anything, but it was just too risky. Too risky to be with him, only for him to lose you, or for you to lose him again.

You wondered if you even were making the right decision, that if that stupid saying, 'it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all' was really true. But it was surely too late now. That argument, that fight felt like the last one. The one you couldn't come back from.

You'd only walked about 10 minutes before you heard a vehicle slowly pull up next to you, making you stop in your tracks.

You tried to compose yourself, catch your breath, your heart threatening to jump out of your chest before you turned towards it, knowing damn well what and who it was.

You slowly looked over to see Eddie, sitting in his van, his engine running and his window rolled down.

Time slowed down for you now, the world outside, the night pausing, coming to a halt around you while you stared at him, your makeup now a sorry mess on your face, as he said the simple words you didn't even know you so desperately needed, his voice stern, but his face soft and kind.

"Get in."

Your crying stopped, and you continued to gaze at him for a moment, trying to grasp the situation in front of you, before you easily agreed, not saying a word to him as you walked to the passenger side door, opened it, got in and sat down, putting your seat belt on as you hiccuped.

"Cigarette?" Eddie asked you, not looking at you, his eyes only on the road, though he hadn't started driving yet.

You nodded, your hands on your lap, only keeping your gaze directly on the lit up gravel in front of you.

Eddie put a cigarette between his lips, lighting it and then passing it to you before he lit his own, shifting his van into gear and speeding off.

Neither of you spoke as he drove through the red lights of Hawkins in a rush to get home, the radio not even turned on as you sat in blissful silence, a mutual, comforting understanding between the two of you that no more words needed to be spoken, it just simply wasn't necessary.

You had long finished your cigarette by the time he turned into the trailer park, shutting off his headlights as he pulled in front of his home, parking his van and turning it off, pulling the keys out as you clicked off your seat belt, and the two of you sat in silence a moment longer.

Eddie glanced at you for a beat, his gaze unfocused and dark before opening his door and getting out, walking over to the passenger side and opening it for you, reaching a helping hand towards you to help you get out.

You followed him up the steps of his trailer as he fumbled with his keys, then unlocking the front door and stepping inside, grabbing your arm and yanking you inside the dark of his home before you could walk in yourself, slamming the door.

Everything happened fast, as you expected.

Eddie pushed you against the front door as quickly as you pulled him into you, his soft lips finding yours easily, kissing you as hard as he could, his hands cradling the side of your face as you raked your hands through his hair and pulled him into you, humming with relief into each other's mouths.

The kiss broke, only for the both of you to sigh a blissed out swear as you surged forward again, each rough kiss feeling like a 'what if', 'why not', 'fuck it', 'this should have happened sooner'.

His hands snaked up your waist, shirt lifted, calloused hands wide and hot across your ribs. You pushed up into him more when Eddie slipped his tongue along your bottom lip, deepening the kiss, softly moaning into it as you licked into each other's mouths feverishly, desperately, and there was an ache in your heart that felt like he still wasn't close enough.

You tugged on his hair, earning a groan from him, your name leaving his lips with a drawn out whisper.

The action made your body relax into his and your knees fell apart for him, inviting him to put his leg between them, the friction of his pants against your clothed heat making you gasp softly as Eddie slid off his infamous jacket in a hurry, hastily pressing his lips against yours again as he pulled off your flannel, needy hands now smoothing up and down bare arms.

His hands roamed down to your ass as you embraced desperately, lifting you up and pressing you against the wall harder, making you yelp, as he kissed down your neck, sucking a light bruise there, another one on your collarbone when you let out the prettiest sigh he'd ever heard.

Eddie needed more, his voice rasping swears as he carried you to his bedroom, your arms wrapped around his shoulders, kissing against his neck, and he pressed you into the messy sheets of his bed, his lips still soft and probing, sighing in solace as if to say, 'finally'.

But then he pulled back, sitting before you, his lips swollen from yours as he gazed at you, and you reached your arms out to him, a sudden stinging of tears in your eyes, quietly whining for more.

"It's okay, I got you babe, don't worry," Eddie reassured you softly, peeling his shirt off of himself, then pulling you up by your arms to pull your tank top off and unhook your bra in a hurry, throwing the garments to the side and he leaned into you again, kissing the tears off of your face before they could come running down.

He sucked on your bottom lip hungrily, and you whined, reaching between you to grab at his belt, a pretty whimper leaving your lips as you tugged at it wantonly, making him hiss.

You were begging, pleading with him, 'more, please, more,' in a small voice that drove Eddie absolutely mad, his hard length straining against his torn jeans, all for you.

He cursed to himself in a hushed voice, biting his lip and sighing heavily, and he gave in, taking his belt off and tugging his pants down his legs frantically, leaning back with a sigh of relief as his rather large length was free.

"C'mere," you insisted, reaching for him, wanting to touch him, wanting to smooth your hands along the scars in his sides that you never got a chance to care for, but Eddie shushed you, placing a kiss to the side of your knee to comfort you as he saw you were overwhelmed.

"Just want you," his voice low and husky as he fumbled with the button of your shorts before he paused, his eyes heavy and half lidded, "that okay?"

"Please. Want you too," you whined, arching your lower abdomen into his hand, motioning for him to hurry.

Eddie unbuttoned them in a frenzy, pulling your zipper down and sliding your shorts and panties down your legs, tossing them aside.

He had to lean back and take a moment, his eyes hungry and dark, his lips slightly agape as he took in the full sight of you, and cursed to himself at how pretty you looked.

He gazed at you and then your heat, groaning and praising you for how wet you were when he slid two fingers along your folds, his thumb grazing over your clit, trying to contain himself from absolutely ruining you.

You keened at his touch, grinding into his hand and he bit his lip at your reaction, spreading your knees farther apart for more access as he dipped a finger inside of you easily.

You gasped at the action, and Eddie quickly dipped in a second finger, curling and thrusting them in and out of you languid, gazing in wonder, getting impossibly harder by the second.

"Eddie," you rasped, "I need you. I love you."

He pulled his fingers out and crowded into you then, his hand sprawled messy but gentle along your throat and jaw, kissing and licking into your mouth deeply, moaning into each other as he lined himself up with your entrance.

You brought your knees up to your sides, caging him in, and he pressed a hand into the pillow next to you, hovering over you as you rested a hand against his scarred chest as he pushed into you.

You both let out a gasp of each other's names and expletives as your slick made it easy for him to push all the way into you, bottoming out, and Eddie gave you a moment to get used to the feeling, the pad of his thumb gently stroking your cheek, and curled his hand under your knee, lifting it up over his shoulder before he pulled out slowly, and pushed into you again.

He set a slow but sensual, deep pace and as much as you wanted more, it felt amazing, the both of you panting softly, cheeks flushed and skin slick with sweat, clutching the sheets of his bedding as he pushed in and out you, his lips kissing lazily against your own as you pushed against his thrusts, hitting the spot you so desperately needed.

Eddie picked up the pace, and with the stuttering of his hips, you knew that he was already getting close, understandably so, as you were too, a result from the want- the need from each other you needed for so long, and you couldn't wait anymore, not when he stretched out your walls so perfectly, when he felt so deep, so amazing.

When your walls squeezed against him, his hips snapped and Eddie cursed, his jaw slack as the both of you moaned in ecstacy.

"Jesus christ," his voice was hoarse between thrusts, "you can't do that, I'm not gonna last long."

"Me neither," you mumbled as he continued to massage your inner walls, the curls of his hair tickling your face.

You nearly cried out when he gripped your hip tightly, sure to leave a bruise, and he couldn't help himself anymore, not when you looked so pretty, not when you felt so good.

Eddie bit back a moan, sinking his teeth into your knee as he spilled himself inside you, his hips stuttering as you followed closely behind, your walls gripping him and pulsing as your orgasm took ahold of you, your lower tummy blooming deliciously as he rocked into you through each other's highs.

His hips finally stilled, and his body went limp into yours, the both of you panting against each other, his head in the crook of your neck, pressing sloppy, loving kisses along the side of your face, smoothing stray hair strands away from your forehead.

He pulled out of you and you whimpered, but Eddie was quick to catch your lips, swallowing the sound and he kissed you passionately, before tumbling next to you, pulling your slick body into his, limbs entangled, trying to get impossibly close.

"I love you," he whispered against your lips, eyes closed, "and you're never gonna lose me. Okay?"

Tears prodded your eyes, and you nodded eagerly, smoothing your hands up and down his scarred sides, not knowing if it was true, but you smiled anyways.

"I love you too."

[xxmethlordxx]

Hello! I read that your request are open and I wanted to give it a try! If my promp isn't of your interest just ignore!

Can I request a fluff/comfort LaiosXReader (Any gender is fine) Fanfic/Headcannon/Oneshot/Anything

Of Laios comforting the reader during a fireworks show because they're scared of the loud noises?

Thanks you so much!

(Edit I was trying so hard to check spelling mistakes that I didn’t type anything else but lmk what you guys think and give me feedback please :3)

Booming sensation

laios x gender natural reader

Warning: none

When you aren’t working and being in the dungeon, you like being outside the dungeon to get fresh air and do other things. At the end of July would start the summer festivals your village would have. You dreaded it. You liked the summer sun, the treats they would have outside, everyone laughing and dancing to the music that filled the ears with happy children and adults. But you never joined in the activities they held, knowing after a while, they would start to set off fireworks. The loud sounds, flashing lights, were just too overwhelming for you and anytime you were invited out you sadly refused, not telling them of your fear out of embarrassment. This year was no different. The smell of food, the sound of music and villagers laughing, the atmosphere was perfect, but you knew you couldn’t go out, so you didn’t do anything to get ready. You planned on lying down until you heard a knock at the door. You opened the door to see your lover laios. You’ve been together for about a couple of months and he’s been a dream. He has his quirks, but sitting through hours of monster info dumping was worth it to get all the love and affection you could ask for. Smiling when seeing your boyfriend, you greeted him with a hug. “Laios, what are you doing here” you smiled up at him. “Well, I was wondering what you were doing today.” you looked at him for a minute before responding. “W-well I was just going to stay home and probably go to bed early”. You felt bad, but you knew what he was going to ask. “Oh well, I was wondering if you wanted to see the fireworks that were about to go off” Laios smiled at you but soon frowned. “But if you're going to bed early I can ask someone else” looking at laios frown broke your heart, and it felt like looking at a sad puppy, so you sighed “I guess I could try and come out for a bit….” Laios practically lit up and smiled at you grabbing your hands and blushing. “R-REALLY- I mean you don’t have too if you're tired” laios looked down again trying to find your eyes. Maybe it might be different with laios. Maybe if you focus on him the entire time, the fireworks won’t affect you so much. “Yeah, I’m fine, plus it could be like a little date,” you say, blushing. Laios also blushes at your words but smiles and says he will wait for you by the lake. Laios walks off and you sigh, getting dressed.

Now, walking out, your nerves start to get to you. What if they went off randomly right now, you didn’t see laios, so you would be screwed. But finally seeing the tall man looking out towards the lake, he turned to see you. “(Y/N) OVER HERE”. Laios waves at you, and you jog at him and smile. “You look really nice..” said Laios said “thank you, you look quite handsome too~” you said giggling, making laios blush. He soon turned towards the lake. “They should be starting sometime soon” he smiled, still looking out. You gripped the ends of your shirt nervously waiting to hear the big booms and kapows. “Laios when do they go-“ BOOM, suddenly a loud boom happens, and you automatically get down to cover your ears and scrunch your face. This isn’t fine. I don’t feel fine. You feel tears coming into your eyes and your chest feels tight. You soon feel a hand on your back and laios right next to you, obviously worried. “Are you okay? What happened (y/n)?” Laios paused when he saw your tears, and soon you felt two arms carrying you, still covering your ears and shielding your face. Before you knew it, you were back at your house, the fireworks still going off loud booms one after the other. They would go quiet before another went off. Laios went to your bedroom and put you under the covers and lay next to you holding your shaking body. “Shhh it’s okay I’m here…” laios hushed, slowly caressing your back. “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t like fireworks”. Laios looked down knowing you wouldn’t look up at him.

Silence was all that he heard from you. “You didn’t have to come with me. I could have stayed here with you and held you like this. You finally looked up with red eyes. “You looked so sad when I said no at first and…I didn’t want you to be mad at me” these words broke laios, he would never want you to be somewhere you were uncomfortable or put you in any situation like that. “(Y/n) I would have never gone out if I knew, I’m sorry I didn’t know” he lifted your chin with his hand to look at you with sorry eyes. “I didn’t tell you that wasn’t your fault”. Again, silence between the two of you felt so long, but it felt better having laios hold you like that with the fireworks going off. “Laios…can you stay the night and hold me like this…”. Laios looked down and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll stay as long as you need”. He hugged you tightly, and you nuzzled into his chest slowly. The sound of fireworks soon faded out, and you could only hear your breathing and Laios' heartbeat.

[haoboutyou]

taking it slow | xu minghao

angst | 1.1k words | warnings: y/n gets a panic attack

an: and if i told you this was based off a dream i had a whole year ago?

These past few months had been an absolute mess for you. Missed deadlines, cracked phone, broken bag straps; you thought the world had already thrown its all at you. Clearly, you didn’t take into account your soulmate throwing himself at you too.

Ever since the day you bumped into Minghao at the train station– ever since the moment the offending red string materialised on your pinkies– it was like he was following you everywhere. The cafe? He was in line behind you. The grocery store? Minghao’s in the baking aisle, checking out a new brand of flour. In every encounter, he would try to approach you. The florist you work at? He was buying flowers for his mom (your heart melted a little at this- he was buying them just because). And in every encounter, you would try to run away.

Which was why you’re frustrated as to how he’s managed to corner you here: in an art gallery, in the middle of an exhibition. You were caged against the wall by Minghao as you were walking, hidden right behind a pair of potted plants.

(You find out later that he worked there. And that it was his exhibition that you were walking through. Of course, he works at the art gallery, you think.)

“Y/n, look at me.” Minghao’s hands grasped you by your shoulders. Head tilted, he tried to make eye contact, but your lowered head wasn’t doing much for him. He sighed. “Y/n, stop running away. You know you’ll have to face me sooner or later. Come on.”

You couldn’t. Looking at him meant you were accepting the fate that was destined for both of you. Soulmates?! The very thought of the universe forcing two strangers together for the rest of their lives made you feel queasy. Your commitment issues or lack thereof were quaking in their boots.

“Y/n,” his voice was softer this time. Gently, Minghao’s fingers cupped your chin in the warm embrace of his hand, his thumb caressing the soft curve beneath. With a tender touch, he lifted your chin, guiding your gaze upward. Your eyes met, yours already brimming with tears threatening to roll down anytime. It was a gesture so intimate and reassuring, as if he held not just your chin but also a delicate moment suspended in time.

He sighed as his thumb delicately swiped across your cheek. His touch, so warm and comforting that you had to fight the urge to lean into his palm. “Y/n,” he started once more.

“You’re important to me. I need you to know that.”

“You don’t even know me, Xu Minghao.”

“I know you like vanilla lattes. I know you prefer cats over dogs, and how you like lily of the valleys because they’re your birth flower.” The deadpan look on your face despite the dried streaks of tears elicited a small laugh from him. “I’ll take all the time in the world to get to know you. Please, Y/n. Can’t you see the red string on our hands?”

As if doused by cold water, you tore yourself away from his touch. Your eyes drifted down to where Minghao was referring to. Yes, that stupid red string was still connected to your hands. It had never disappeared, ever since you had first met Minghao all those months ago.

Of course, everyone has a soulmate; it wasn’t rare for people to meet their destined partner at all. However, that didn’t mean that all relationships the red string had helped to bind were happy ones. You’ve seen your fair share of people perpetually had their trust in their red strings of fate torn apart and broken. You didn’t want to put your all in a ‘destined’ relationship only for it to fall apart and ruin your life, just like all of theirs.

Anxiety gripped you like a relentless tide, each wave threatening to pull you under. Your breaths quickened, shallow and erratic, and your chest tightened with an overwhelming sense of dread. The world around you blurred as a suffocating sense of panic took hold.

“Hey, hey…” you didn’t notice when Minghao approached you again, but this time you let yourself melt in the comfort of his arms. His protective grip around you tightened as you felt yourself let go, slumping into his chest as sobs shook through your whole body. He continued holding you firmly, palms rubbing slow circles on your back as he whispered words of comfort in your ears.

Your fists clenched up against his chest, tears staining his carefully pressed shirt. Not that it mattered to him- comforting you was his top priority now. Minghao, ever loving, patted your hair, gentle whispers of “I’m right here,” and “it’s going to be okay,” every once in a while. It took you a while, but eventually, your sobs subsided into little hiccups and pants. Minghao looks down at you, using his sleeves to wipe away any more tears on your face. He couldn’t help himself; he chuckled a little upon seeing your pout. Even during a mental breakdown, you’re still the most precious thing in his eyes.

“S-sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Your hands betrayed your inner turmoil, fingers restlessly intertwining and then pulling away as if unable to find solace in each other's company. Minghao took it upon himself to separate them by intertwining his slender fingers with yours. “It’s okay. You’re fine. I’m right here.”

His thumb traced gentle circles on the back of your hand, a silent language of comfort and connection. Each gentle brush carried a whisper of comfort that was beyond words. The world outside vanished in that little instant, and the simple, tender gesture spoke volumes about the unspoken bond you clearly shared.

Minghao cleared his throat, catching your attention once again. “I’m aware… that you don’t like the whole idea of soulmates. I’m still interested in you, and I’d love to get to know you more. As friends! We don’t have to date if you don’t want to.

“I’m glad the red string brought you to me. I don’t think I’ll be able to live with myself if I let you go.” He chuckled, a pained expression despite the loving smile on his face. “What I’m trying to say is: I’ll take responsibility for everything. Please, Y/n. Trust me. Give me a chance. Don’t just push me away like this.”

Your silence was deafening to him. Still, Minghao waited patiently for you, rubbing slow circles on the back of your hands. You couldn’t phantom how someone could have so much love for a person they barely knew, yet Xu Minghao exceeded your expectations over and over again. You sighed, finally giving in to his puppy-dog eyes.

“Okay,” you breathed. “Friends first.”

He heaved a sigh of relief, heart already swelling with affection for you. He nodded.

“Friends first.”

[akalikai]

TMAGP EP 19 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Hold on, alchemy?? I vaguely remember someone saying that they read Secrets of Alchemy and one of the main scholars was Prince Khalid or something? And now Sam learned some Alchemy while looking into the Magnus Institute???

So the Protocol is like...A thing??? Something that can be enacted, like a law, almost? And it was around back in 1684. Not important but...Older than any of our oldest statements in TMA, I think. Which is interesting, I wonder how Chester even got the information. Or FR3-D1, I suppose.

So is the Protocol some sort of...Dastardly alchemy? Like...Frankenstein-esque "creating life" or even bringing people back to life? Because I do think those are the kinds things that were called "Blasphemous" in the 1600s-1700s.

"It was only through the Protocol that we were spared from that Dred emission" Okay, so is Dread a thing we have to keep in mind? I remember for the filing system in the OIAR, one of them is "D" right? It seems like this Protocol is enacted when Things Go Wrong, so is the OIAR basically the people who can enact the Protocol?

"An element of such overwhelming radiance that to look upon it directly was to dazzle the eyes and throw the mind into confusion" I know it's probably not this but it reminds me a bit of both The Spiral but also the sun that Manuela Dominguez made.

I know the name Wilhem from somewhere. He was Gerry's ancestor in TMA ep 23, right? Wilhelm Von Closen?

A small tree??? Wait holy shit this little tree sounds beautiful. Is that concerning to say? IT HAS A FRUIT???? DO NOT EAT IT MF WHAT

Okay so the Latin is translated to, "But you must not eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, for on whatever day you eat from it will be the day you die" DUDE DID THIS GUY MAKE A TREE FROM THE GARDEN OF EDEN??? IS THIS FRUIT THE FRUIT OF TEMPTATION??? HELLO???

Holy shit. Holy shit did he turn a DOG into a tree AND give it the ability to Know things?? (I don't want to say he made it an Eye avatar because I don't think avatars work the same here)

Okay but why does sound kind of...Beautiful? Like those arts of giant deer creatures in the forest that seem to be made up of just as much of the forest as they are made up of real blood and meat.

He has a cure for it??? Jesus I mean...I don't know what to say I just...Is that dog okay?? I just feel really bad for the dog.

Okay so the Protocol can destroy things that are supernatural, unworldly, etc. And it can be contained or limited to a certain area, depending on the people who enact it.

Also hilariously. It's a Robert writing to a Robert lol.

OUGHHH HE'S ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS YES SAME THE PUTERS ARE LISTENING TO YOU HEHEHEH

"I'm deliberately being given cases that point to The Magnus Institute" I wonder if FR3-D1 wants Sam to keep looking into the institute but Chester (If he is Jon) is trying to keep him away. But he's losing the fight. Additionally, is FR3-D1 possibly the Protocol? Or perhaps, somehow, FR3-D1 has that...Whatever Isaac made...In it and it makes FR3-D1 all knowing?

Alice you can't keep shutting him down like this. You're going to lose him. I kind of understand why Sam is lashing out because I know what it feels like to have someone you really trust tell you that you're crazy when you KNOW you're not.

Obviously, he should have lashed out at Gwen the way he did last episode but Jesus Christ, he just needs someone to listen. Celia is there, but she has her whole thing going on, and I think Sam knows that subconsciously.

So he turns to Alice but she just keeps shutting him down. And I'm pretty she's only being dismissive because she knows something and she wants to keep him safe but she will lose him if she doesn't hear him out.

Okay to be fair. Gwen did ask for this job lol. She could quit anytime she wants it just that my girl is stubborn as fuck.

Oh boy. Yeah Gwen is about to get traumatized AGAIN.

COLIN???? WHO'S HE???? FR3-D1???? COLIN COME BACK HERE WHO IS HE-

Alice is starting to remind me of s1 Jon in the sense that it seems more absurd that she thinks nothing is going on instead of just accepting that things are 50 shades of fucked up.

Edit: I HAD TO READ THE TRANSCRIPT EARLIER SO I ONLY GOT TO LISTENING NOW AND SOMEHOW I MISSED THE MERCURY AND SULFUR FROM COLIN??? HELLO HAS HE FIGURED SOMETHING OUT?? and he's mentioning balance like hello Robert Smirke is that you????

Additionally, I will mention that Cinnabar (a tranquilizer) has both mercury and sulfure in it (Thanks AP Chemistry, I never ended up pursuing you as a degree lol)

[definitelynotafurinasimp]

Hiya! Hope you’re doin well!

Can we get Eula with an s/o who absolutely refuses to do anything but spoil her? No matter what she is doing, they are by her side with a gift or a hug or just plain doing her job for her

Eula with a reader that spoils her all the time

characters: Eula x gn!reader

warnings: none, just fluff

a/n: Eula is cute, Eula is life.

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Eula

Eula was far from having any money problems, with the knights paying her pretty well and her funds she managed to build up over the years there was no need for her to worry about starving anytime soon.

So seeing you insist on paying for every meal or buying her gifts whenever possible didn’t exactly sit right with her, was it because the thought of you thinking she needed someone to pay for her slightly stinged her ego or simply because she didn’t want you to spend any more money on her, especially since you always somehow managed to weasel your way out of sharing the bill or being compensated no matter how hard she tried.

What it took to refuse you was determination and focus, skills that she had acquired tenfold during her work for the knights in dragonspine, but while she ought to have succeeded by now, you never failed to completely overwhelm her, causing the former aristocrat to simply give up instead of risking making a fool out of herself by trying to say anything.

“Oh! Eula!”, the aforementioned woman halted her steps the moment the sound of a familiar voice calling out to her rang in her ear, quickly turning around only to see you running towards her as fast as you could, causing her to start worrying something bad might have happened. But just as she started to worry, you threw your arms around her neck and hugged her with the enthusiasm of someone just winning a prestigious tournament.

“Is something the matter?”, Eula asked, feeling herself tensing up at the sudden public affection. One side of her wanted to push you away before reprimanding you about acting with her in such a way in public, only for it to be drowned out by the part of her brain scrambling to find the right words to say without completely losing her composure.

“You won’t believe what I managed to buy!”, you excitedly told her, only to pull out a small box before even leaving her a chance at guessing, opening it to reveal a ring.

You went on to ramble happily, Eula could see your mouth moving, your arms moving along your words and you nearly jumping in excitement, but none of your words were processed by her, the former aristocrat instead deep in thought, not sure if this was just another one of your gifts or something more, one side of her feeling nothing but excitement and happiness at the thought of it, the other something more akin to dread. It took you sliding the ring onto one of her fingers for her to finally snap back to reality, opening her mouth before she even had the chance to think about what to say.

“W-wait, won’t even wait for my answe-”, Eula stopped herself the moment she heard her voice crack, even slightly, her face growing even redder as embarrassment mixed with all of her other reactions, only for her to continue trying to get an answer out in time “I- wai- yes!”

What followed was silence, and as she finally reopened her eyes, having shut them tight just a few moments before, she was met with a slightly confused expression from you, causing her to get irritated as well.

“Answer?”, you asked, not being able to grasp what she meant, only for your face to light up a few seconds later, “No no, don’t worry, you don’t have to compensate me. I wouldn’t buy you such things if I didn’t have enough money to spare”, you frantically stated, causing Eula to finally realize her mistake, her face burning up in embarrassment as soon as she did, only for her to look down and fidget with the ring, murmuring a few words all too familiar to you while trying to think of what else to do.

“I will have vengeance.”

[merlot-and-chardonnay]

Another HotD Related Take: Or, the Passive Rule of Viserys I

I just realized something when I was going through one of my Lark chapters as well as my take on the Blacks and Greens discourse. It's not actually related to the story itself but more something related to one of the HotD characters.

In case you haven't guessed by reading the title:

I thought about Viserys and my observation of him both as a king and father, how he chose to take passive stances over active ones. And after re-reading my last take I thought about why this was the case. Now it could be chalked up to maybe the man never really had any ambition to rule as king, but I was thinking there might be more to this.

So bear with me as I discuss my take.

Also I want to make clear this is NOT me in any way trying to defend Viserys or his actions (or lack thereof), this is just me trying to make sense of why he is the way he is. Also, this is all my opinion, so please feel free to agree or disagree me as you wish.

Before we get into Viserys the King, we first need to look into who he was before the starting events of House of the Dragon:

Viserys Targaryen was the first born son of Prince Baelon and Princess Alyssa. Baelon was the second born son of King Jaehaerys and Queen Alyssane. Since Baelon was the second son, i.e. the one who was not expected to inherit the throne (before the death of his older brother that is), it is almost certain Viserys was not expected to be part of the line of succession anytime soon.

That is until Prince Aemon's, and then Baelon's deaths which led to a crisis of succession and resulted in the Council of 101 deciding who was to sit the Iron Throne next after Jaehaerys. Which in this case ended up being Viserys, i.e. the eldest MALE descendent.

Now I can't pretend to imagine what Viserys was feeling the moment it was made official that he would sit the throne next, but if I was in his shoes, I'd be...well honestly pretty overwhelmed as the title of heir would come with its own pressures and responsibilities. Also, this was somewhat fairly sudden, and I'm not so sure if Viserys was given the proper tools to prepare to rule (which could in part explain why he didn't give Rhaenyra the tools to prepare to rule when he named her heir).

Again, being the child of the second son, he was probably never expecting to rule at all.

Thinking about it more now, I do have to wonder if Viserys had ever objected to this behind closed doors, to being king. I don't know if he had ever thought to renounce the title of heir, or if he thought to abdicate once he became king.

(worth noting in the Fire and Blood novel, Daemon was prepared to secure Viserys' place as heir by 'allegedly' gathering an army should the nobles object).

Maybe the notion never occurred to him.

Also another thing to remember about Viserys before his time as king was that he was the last Targaryen to claim the dragon Balerion, who we know as the largest dragon at that time, and whose first known rider was Aegon the Conqueror. I think people sometimes forget about this fact about Viserys, and I can understand why, but that is actually a pretty impressive accomplishment, not something to sneeze at (granted Balerion was old and probably in the process of dying after that stunt he pulled dragging poor princess Aerea with him back to his old home in Valyria, but still impressive nonetheless).

It's worth noting Viserys never claimed another dragon after Balerion, and there was probably a good reason for that.

I think in some way, being the Black Dread's rider gave Viserys a different perspective concerning the Targaryens and their relationship to the dragons as well as power.

In Episode 1, after the bulk of the events that passed, we are given a scene where Viserys talks with Rhaenyra before Balerion's giant skull. He tells Rhaenyra that the idea that the Targaryens can control the dragons is nothing more than an illusion. I theorize the reason he says this is because of his experience as a dragon rider. Having had a chance to ride the largest dragon in the world, it made Viserys realize these creatures can never truly be tamed, no matter how strong they may bond with them.

But, and again this is more a theory on my part, I wonder if this also made Viserys come to realize the power the Targaryens had. Sure, they could not actually tame the dragons, but they can form bonds with them, which gives the family a certain level of power in this world, one that probably never should have been given to them in the first place, even if said power is what allowed the Targaryens to conquer and rule the Seven Kingdoms.

And I think this scares Viserys on a subconscious level.

Much so that he fears the power he has as king, which could be part of the reason why he chose to make passive stances over active ones, why he often gave into pressure by the small council, especially by his trusted Hand...

And maybe why he often sidelined his brother during the early years of his reign.

As we have seen both in show and book, Daemon is an unpredictable and chaotic force to be reckoned with. Much like that of a dragon. He is someone who loves his family, but also craves power.

Now that I think about it, I wonder if Daemon was part of the reason Viserys never considered to abdicate. Since the man had no sons of his own at this point in time, Daemon was seen as his Heir Apparent. No matter how much he loved him, I don't think Viserys believed his brother would've been a good or stable ruler.

It certainly didn't help when Otto Hightower voiced his opinion that Daemon would end up becoming a second Maegor if he was ever to sit the Iron Throne.

Daemon acts like a dragon, and he has no regard for the power he holds over others, and I think this scares Viserys to a certain extent, which is part of why he sends Daemon away and disinherits him (I know that's not the actual reason, but it was probably subconscious; the snide remark Daemon made about Viserys' and Aemma's son being 'Heir for a Day' was probably the push Viserys needed to do something about his brother's power hungry ambition).

I think what I'm trying to say is that maybe Viserys holds a subconscious fear of the Targaryen's power, both real power and their illusion of power, which is why he chooses to take overly passive stances both in his rule and in his parenting.

I also think Viserys fears his own power both as a dragon rider and as a king, and he goes to great lengths to keep it in check. Claiming a dragon does seem to bring out a different side to whomever can accomplish this; the bigger the dragon, the bigger the change.

Note the confidence in Laena Velaryon when she claimed Vhagar, and the arrogance from Aemond when he made that same accomplishment. Maegor claimed Balerion after his father Aegon passed and...well we know what he was like as king. And of course Daemon has Caraxes, and those two are so closely bonded it's almost telepathic.

The man knows he has power as king, and there have been times when he exercised that power when he felt it was needed.

One example includes when he summoned Daemon to the throne room after making his 'Heir for a Day' speech. Viserys sat the throne with the crown on his head and the sword in his hands, making it clear that his brother was speaking to the king, and if Daemon didn't address him as such Viserys would order HIS kingsgaurd to cut out his tongue.

He also order Daemon to return to the Vale to his then wife. BY order of the KING to be exact.

Also, another Daemon related incident when Viserys summoned the man to the throne room AGAIN (despite Daemon's very hungover state, LOL) in Episode 4. Going on a brief tangent I feel like I'm seeing a pattern of Viserys exercising his power as king when his family, ESPECIALLY his brother go and do stupid shit. I'm sorry, I find this so funny.

Anyway, Viserys made his ire towards Daemon clear when he confronted the guy over worrying allegations about Daemon's tryst with Rhaenyra in the pleasure house, claiming Daemon 'defiled' her. He made said ire even more clear when Daemon didn't deny the accusations and Viserys flat pulls out his dagger, holding it against Daemon's throat, acting like he might actually use it. He is not being a pushover at this moment, and he banished Daemon afterwards AGAIN.

Other examples involved Rhaenyra like in the same episode when he scolded Rhaenyra for her reckless actions and ended her courtship phase, ordering her to wed Laenor Velaryon, exercising his power both as king and as father in this situation.

Also concerning Rhaenyra, Viserys would exercise his kingly power on more than one occasion when attempting to quell the rumors of the origins of her sons' births, i.e. that Jace, Luke, and Joffery are the bastard sons of Harwin Strong instead of the true born sons of Rhaenyra and Laenor. Regardless of how true those rumors were, Viserys would go to great lengths to defend Rhaenyra and her children, be it scolding Alicent to stop pursuing this matter in private, or flat out declaring to a room full of nobles and his family that anyone who dared to question the boys' lineage would have their tongues removed.

Please note in Episode 8, when Viserys, who at this point was basically at death's door, used what strength he had left to sit the throne for the Driftmark petition, and how he was prepared to cut out Vaemond Velaryon's own tongue when he shouted in the throne room that the boys were bastards and Rhaenyra is a whore:

So Viserys isn't afraid to exercise his power as king over his own family, nor is he afraid to invoke said power to protect his family either.

But from the same vein, he seems a little more hesitant to invoke that power when it comes to other matters, such as when the small council started pressuring him to take a new wife after the death of Aemma Arryn, even though he had named a new heir, and it had been less than a year since that horrible tragedy. And when he did give into the pressure, he was essentially provided two options to either wed Laena or Alicent. He chose Alicent, even though the girl didn't have a say in the matter.

There wasn't a third option?

He also doesn't seem willing to invoke his status as king when Daemon returned to King's Landing after being sent away. Guy just struts in like nothing happened, and Viserys just lets him. Not even a slap on the wrist like he usually does.

(not that I'm actually complaining, I mean, not with that face, lol)

Sorry, fanservice over, back to the thread:

I think Viserys also feels the burden to keep the realm together and not fall apart, but he also wants to keep his family together as well. Trying to have his cake and eat it too, it seems.

He's trying to please everyone, but that is not possible. And his lack of action and decision making will ultimately lead to the downfall of his family and dynasty.

So, to summarize, I think Viserys is the way he is as king because he didn't want, nor did he ever expect to ever have become king, and I think also because he fears the power he has a king and a Targaryen.

Additionally, there is likely considerable pressure to keep the realm stable, or at very most keeping it from falling into chaos. And of course, there is extra pressure on Viserys that he later passes onto Rhaenyra concerning the Conqueror's Dream (refer back towards the end of Episode 1).

So many factors to consider, but ultimately it doesn't excuse Viserys' OVERLY passiveness. I already made my disdain for this passiveness clear in my last take, as had Viserys taken a more proactive stance, he could've properly taught Rhaenyra to rule as Queen, as well as...you know...

NOT CREATING SUCH A POLARIZING DIVIDE WITHIN HIS FAMILY THAT IT LED TO A CIVIL WAR THAT ULTIMATELY LED TO THE EXTINCTION OF THE DRAGONS AND THE EVENTUAL DECLINE AND DOWNFALL OF THE TARGARYEN DYNASTY.

And of course, I will not excuse Viserys playing favorites with his oldest daughter compared to his children with Alicent, to whom he was basically an absentee parent. Even if you do shamelessly have one favorite child, it's still a shitty thing for any parent to ignore the rest. (looking at you Papa Odin from the MCU...and Firelord Ozai from AtLA)

If Viserys had actually taken a more active role in raising the rest of his children, especially Aegon, the divide wouldn't have been so wide if it had been created at all.

(Of course it probably wouldn't have happened at all if Viserys never married Alicent but I digress).

In an alternate universe, Rhaenys would've been the one to sit the Iron Throne (from the Queen who Never Was to the Queen who Became), and Viserys would've been content to live out his days out in the countryside continuously working on his model of Old Valyria and spending time with his wife and daughter.

Anyway that's my piece. I probably didn't make a lot of sense, which to be fair, I was stuggling a bit to put this take of mine into words, but if it did make sense in some way, I would love to hear what y'all have to say.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for dropping a friendship?

This ask will be long so apologies in advance. I’m currently twenty years old and in my third year of college although this happened last year when I was nineteen. I had met a friend named Fawn through a now ex friend’s boyfriend and after a few months, I decided to introduce him to my friend group because he’s trans and all of my friend group is LGBT in some manner. Fawn had originally been super friendly and supportive whenever we’d talk until a few months in when he ended up running away from home. I absolutely understand why he did it and completely support him to this day because of how his parents were/are. The entire friend group would try to help him with various things such as getting ID for a job or giving him rides that totaled 3 hours round trip just so he could hang out in person with us because he was obviously dealing with really bad depression. I made sure to put in as much effort as I could for helping him with whatever I could but after months, I was genuinely overwhelmed and drained talking to him. He would talk over other people venting in our discord server and it would be genuinely extremely triggering messages that wouldn’t get censored or warnings. Anytime he would try to talk to me, it was about his suicidal thoughts and I’d mention I can’t handle that right now because I also have awful mental health so he wouldn’t text me again until a month or so went by. I started dreading getting a text from him because it was always a vent about him and I later found out he would do the same with half of our friend group while the other half had completely normal conversations with no mention of his vent at all. Months into this, he tried texting me during an anime convention where I was with some of our friends and I ignored it before finally asking one of our friends (who I know is a really sweet person), “hey does Fawn do this with you? Because I’m starting to get really tired of being his friend.” To which they responded something about how he doesn’t and also that I really need to have better boundaries because he shouldn’t be doing that which I was like “huh! Yeah you’re right.” After that conversation and other previous ones with different friends, I finally texted him back a long message explaining why I didn’t feel comfortable being his friend anymore and our relationship was rather one sided. He ended up sending four screenshots worth of messages back that I partly read and decided to stop because I was getting upset in the moment after he said that I “of all people” should understand his trauma because I was kicked out of my parents house at 16 and had to move across the country to live with my older sister which personally I don’t feel is the same as leaving at 19 but I didn’t argue with him. I showed the messages to some friends to ask if I had said anything wrong because I’m autistic and genuinely struggle with tone sometimes especially when typing. Our friends all agreed with me but I still wonder if I should have been more understanding of him because of what he was dealing with at the time.

What are these acronyms?

[solosol]

i crave rest and stillness quiet a lot, but then i quickly grow bored and feel stale. i need some stimulation but not too much because i will be overwhelmed and retreat into solitude again. 

i am starting to fall back in love with life, but this awareness of my ‘inability’ to live life is a kicker sometimes. im fighting the feeling of being a bum or lazy. even though laziness is kind of a myth, more so that i constantly feel like theres more to be done, and anytime i spend indoors alone, doing nothing but watching netflix or scrolling, or sleeping off anxiety, i feel like i am wasting my life, wasting my time.

im trying to steer clear of social media, mainly instagram, it makes me feel so irrelevant, and thats definitely a personal insecurity, but instagram is where things seems to be happening, for work as well it seems the place to showcase my creative endeavors. i hope that this new year brings fresh energy and new and fun things. not to distract me from that seemingly insatiable hunger i have, but to remove it completely.

i need to be occupied. and sometimes i think does that mean that  i need to sit in silence with myself more? perhaps. but i also feel like ive momentarily forgotten how to enjoy a day. ive never known what i am supposed to be doing. and tasks like being in uni actually give me more dread than a sense of purpose. 

perhaps thats it, im just navigating rediscovering a sense of purpose. it happens every few months. usually because i crash, soemtimes because i stop and revaluate my situation and my goals. but more often than not its the former.

maybe this is just what it means to be human, or one of the things. struggle of some kind seems to be integral to existance. i am excited for the future dont get me wrong. im excited for freedom and the sun. 

im trying to get to the root of this that im feeling. i truly think its working through endings and starting new beginnings. i am yet to get into some sort of groove. but its on its way and probably coming faster than i want to believe. i just need to keep trusting. thats all i really have. hope, trust and myself. 

[maehemthemisfit]

Did someone say KMG!Mikey hc's? Cause I got a few:

He uses the cup that you drink coffee/tea/any drink in when you're not around, no matter how funky or stupid it is. He'll gladly carry it around to meetings since it comforts him to have something of yours with him while you're away

You introduced him to a lot more different foods, that resulting in him having more than 1 or 2 comfort foods.

Randomly gets emotional behind closed doors when you do the littlest things, he's just so great-full to still have someone after everything that has happened to him is kinda overwhelming :(

LITTLE TOUCHES OUT IN PUBLIC OML like his hand on your lower back guiding you, holding your hand under a table, letting you play with his hands ect.

Death grip on you at night. If you're someone that gets up in the middle of the night, you'll just have to start wearing diapers /j

Both of you share jewelry. Sometimes you'll see him wearing a ring that was originally yours, or he might see you wearing a necklace or bracelet that was originally his.

He loves to read to you until you fall asleep after a long day. Tbh he loves anytime he gets to spend time with you.

Please constantly reassure him that you will always love and take care of him when he asks. He doesn't think he deserves someone as good as you so he try's to get better for you :(

I love soft broken Kanto Mikey. Every bit of this is just 😔👌🏾

but on a real note

KMG!Mikey who comes home from a really tiring day, and nearly breaks down from everything crashing down on him again, like violent waves ready to take him underneath with no hope of coming back up.

He hasn't seen you all day which mostly contributed to his sour mood. The darkness was already creeping in, suffocating him until he was surrounded by it and nothing else.

He couldn't sleep like this.

KMG!Mikey who drives to your place in the middle of a storm, ungodly hour and all just because he needs to see you, hear your heartbeat, feel your small breaths of life to ease his racing mind. He didn't want to feel empty. Even with exhaustion weighing him down, he couldn't go to sleep without seeing you once.

KMG!Mikey who has a spare key that he always keeps close to him, sometimes holding onto it whenever he's feeling stressed and you're not in his sight.

KMG!Mikey who enters your apartment, drenched in rain, and shoulders slouched, not expecting you to be asleep on the couch, towel off to the side of you and two cups of tea on the table, cold but still filled.

The thought of you staying up and waiting for him almost brings him down to his knees, wondering what he did right to have an angel like you in his life. And if anything were to happen to you...

"M-Mikey..?"

KMG!Mikey who nearly jumps at the sound of your sleepy voice and his mind goes blank upon seeing your soft smile. That suffocating feeling gone without a trace and his burdens seemingly nonexistent in this moment with you.

The way you wrap your arms around him, a whisper leaving your lips of how you missed him, eyes closed and uncaring of the water that latched onto you. And like the clingy kitten he was on the inside, that little boy who had everything and nothing, crumbled in your embrace, face buried in the depths of your neck- as if he was lost treasure waiting to be found. No matter how many times he was lost, he hoped you would always be there to find him again and uncover him from his dreadful solitude.

The grip he had around you threatened to squeeze to air out of your lungs, but you knew he had no ill intentions. He would never hurt you. He never did.

Delicate fingers ran through his golden locks, and he purred from your touch, bringing you even closer than you thought possible, lips trembling though you couldn't see. His harbored breaths told you everything you needed to know as you soothed him, rubbing soft circles on his back in hopes of calming him.

Nothing but the two of you existed in this moment as all the bubbling anger and sadness evaporated, now replaced by you and only you. His savior, his love, and safe haven all in one.

The world would see ashes the day something harms you... but for now, he'll snuggle in your warm embrace he'd often compared to wings, shielded from all the violence and misfortunes of the world that dared to consume him whole. For he was no longer the invincible Mikey, or the monster people painted him to be.

He was Sano Manjiro, vulnerable and soft in your arms. And most importantly, he was yours to love.

He'll try his best. If not for himself, then he'll give everything and more if it meant you were happy and safe in his arms.

[erodasfishtacos]

how about when they first noticed ezra was a nervous and anxious baby ?

Seperation

prompt: the moment when h and yn decide that Ezra needs to see a therapist.

warnings: angst

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enjoy 😊

—

It’s late at night, like 3 in the morning, and Harry was down in Atlanta for three games with the Braves.

Easton and Cash had long adjusted to their father being away for short spurts of time - doesn’t mean they don’t miss him but they know he’ll come back to them.

Ezra was another story.

YN felt dread anytime he went away for a game because her youngest got so anxious and had trouble sleeping.

He was usually okay during the day (Harry was gone for practice and obligations during most mornings and afternoons).

It was at night time.

She really didn’t want to call and bother her husband because he had just played a game that went into three innings of overtime and had gotten a gnarly bruise on his thigh from a ball hitting him as he batted.

When they’d FaceTimed after the game, about eight, he had been so exhausted in his hotel room that his eyes were nearly closing as he spoke to her.

Now at three, three in the morning, Ezra still hasn’t went to bed because of how fussy and tearful he was - babbling about his father.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy,” He was whining into his mother’s neck, his hot tears rolling down his cheeks and onto her skin.

“Ezzie, baby. We have to calm down. Mama’s here and daddy is okay, he’s just working,” She murmured to him for the hundredth time that night.

YN was sat in the den with him because she didn’t want him waking up his brothers or his little sister who just begun to sleep through the night for the most part.

At one point, she did stir for a night feeding, and as YN sat on her bed - Briar latched sleepily, Ezra was nestled tightly into her other side.

When it hit three-thirty, she began to feel herself get frustrated because she couldn’t fix the situation - no matter what she did.

She knew once tears began rolling down her own cheeks that she had to call Harry.

It was never that she was worried he would be mad that she called, she just felt guilty because he had worked so hard already that day.

YN reaches for her phone, taking a deep inhale before pressing his contact for facetime.

It rings three times before it’s picked up, completely dark in his room, and he rasps out drowsily, “Wha’s going on, mama? Y’alright? The babies alright?”

“I-I can’t get him to settle,” YN takes a deep breath, the sleep deprivation making her want to just break down and sob.

“Daddy? Daddy, daddy, daddy,” Ezra just chants, eyes wide on the screen, searching for his father to just appear but all he sees is darkness.

That causes him to just start bawling his eyes out when he can’t will his father onto the phone like he wants.

“Whoa, Ezzie. Sweet boy, c’mon. Y’gotta breathe s’daddy can understand you,” Harry coos, stirring to turn on the light and illuminate his pillow-creased face.

“Daddy!” His voice is shrill, high-pitched and it makes YN’s ears ring.

“Ezra Duke,” Harry says a little more firmly, “Daddy can’t understand you when you scream, okay?”

The little boy sniffles and tries to catch his breath, leaning into where YN is rubbing soothing circles into his back.

“Miss you,” His son whimpers sadly, bringing his voice down a notch, “Come home, please.”

“I am flying’ home tomorrow, bab. Daddy will be home around noon but you have to be good for mama,” He says, voice still smooth and calm.

“Now!” Ezra screams in a way he usually never does and then continues, “Now! Now daddy! Now!”

Both parents are taking aback, Harry with wide eyes and parted lips as he watching his son through his phone and YN just squeezes her eyes shut, exhaling out of her mouth.

“Mama, breathe,” Harry directs towards her, can tell how overwhelmed she is getting from all the chaos of his screaming.

“Daddy, daddy,” Ezra blubbers, green eyes angry and anxious at the same time, “Please, home!”

YN hears noise from behind her, to see her eight year old padding into the room with his unruly curls poking every which way.

“Mama, is Ezzie okay?” Easton wonders, knuckling his eyes sleepily and then Cash follows right behind him in his dinosaur pajamas.

“Fuck, he woke up the boys,” YN informs Harry tearfully, “I just…I don’t know what to do. I can’t do anything to make him feel better.”

The older boys peek into the screen to smile at their dad and Harry gives them a tense smile, “Hi boys, I know Ez is being loud but can y’two be good f’your mama and go back to bed?”

They agree, giving their upset brother a kiss and then their mom before talking quietly to each other as they walk up the stairs.

“Daddy? Home, please! Hold me!” Ezra wails, clinging to his mother’s neck tightly enough to hurt as he tantrums.

“This is the worst it’s ever been, he’s normally stopped before I’ve had to call you,” YN groans, rocking him swiftly against her for lack of a better idea.

“Wait…” Harry sits up, scrubbing a hand over his puffy face, “Has this been happening’ every time m’away?”

“It just started two to three months ago but he’s always been able to be calmed down within an hour or so,” YN replies, shushing Ezra as he babbles over and over again daddy, daddy, daddy.

Harry’s jaw tightens and his frown settles into a deep crease, “Well why a’ve you not told me that m’baby has been cryin’ for me when I’m gone? Do y’not think that’s important?”

YN recognizes his irritation and is running on less than five hours of sleep over two days and may he’s it back with an even sharper tone.

“We can’t change that you’re gone. I’m trying to handle it, Harry.”

“Y’not doin’ a bloody good job at it!” Harry bites back in frustration, heart pounding in desperation as he hears his son cry for him.

“Daddy, daddy, come on.”

Then YN looks at him with watering, hurt eyes, “I’m doing my best. You’re not here, I can’t make you appear. I’m trying to calm him down without having to wake you up.”

And Harry shouldn’t but he’s angry and misses his babies - all of them but especially the one who needs him the most right now.

“Y’dont think I deserve to know tha’ Ezra’s been acting like this?” Harry snaps before adding, “In this situation, y’best isn’t good enough because he’s still crying and y’still haven’t been able to settle him.”

And wow, those words hit her like a ton of bricks. It was instilling all the insecurities that she had bubbling in her chest.

In this situation, y’best isn’t good enough because he’s still crying and y’still haven’t been able to settle him.

Harry automatically knows that he spoke before he thought and he let his stressed out mind say untrue hurtful things.

He part his lips about to speak before YN cuts him off.

“If you can do it so much better than me, fucking good you. Then come home and fix this because I give up,” YN laughs without humor, finger finding the red button to hang out and disconnecting.

Harry tried calling back over and over and over but YN just hangs her head, sniffling, as she watches her tired, anxious little son finally drift off to sleep.

At some point, her phone stops ringing when he’s given up and it doesn’t ring again until for another thirty minutes.

She knew he was going to keep calling until she picked up - had been that way since they first started dating.

By now, Ezra was asleep in his room and YN was sat against their headboard - having tossed the tear soaked shirt she had on off and was feeding Briar once more.

The millionth facetime request comes through and finally she swipes to answer, he’s furious right as they connect, “D’you have any idea how worried I am? Y’cant ju-“

He stops himself when he sees his baby girl pop her head from her mother’s breast with puffy lips and look at the screen, “Dadadadada.”

“Oh, hi lil’ mama,” Harry changes his tone completely, face softening - “Did I interrupt y’eatin’? S’mama being so nice and feeding you?”

Briar just smiles with a gapped baby tooth smile, a dimple pushing into her left cheek as she does so.

“Guess I’m good for one thing, right? A fucking milk-maker,” YN scoffs at her husband’s opposite tone as she guides Briar gently back down to finish her meal.

Harry frowns, “Y’know tha’s not anything near the truth and tha’ I think you’re the best mama to our babies. M’just upset.”

“You told me my best wasn’t good enough, I can’t believe you would say something like tha’ to me,” YN begins to sniffle again.

“Sweetheart, m’sorry. I ju-“

“What did you call for, Harry? It’s nearly four-thirty in the morning and I haven’t slept for nearly two days now. I want to feed her and go to sleep,” YN’s voice is disconnected and exhausted.

“To talk, I didn’t say how I was feeling correctly-“

“When you come home tomorrow you can fix everything and I’ll let you because I’m not doing a good enough job,” His wife cuts him off again.

Harry starts to feel a ball of worry form in his throat as he hears how unemotional and distance his wife sounds with him.

He had totally said the wrong things as his wife was just trying to do her best at balancing four babies while he was away.

“Please, let me apologize-���

“I would like to go to sleep. Please don’t call back,” YN responds before ending the phone call and leaving the screen dark.

They rarely ever fought. Especially like this.

He’s man enough to admit that he cries after he tries calling back (even though she said not to) and it went straight to voicemail.

-

He tries facetiming in the morning, at around nine right before if flight takes off - surprised when it actually was picked up.

Harry only sees YN for a brief moment before she’s propping up the camera on the kitchen table so that Easton and Cash are in view eating pancakes and Briar is in her high chair with blueberries staining her chubby cheeks.

Ezra must still be in bed.

“Hi bubbies,” Harry greets with a smile as they’re curls shake as they look up with excited smiles.

“Daddy! You comin’ home?” Cash squeaks excitedly through a mouthful of food.

“Hi dad!” Easton chimes in, waving.

Briar is only half-interested, more taken by the fact that if she squishes the berries between her fingers they turn mushy, babbles out a, “Daddadaa.”

“I’ll be home in like three hours, ‘kay” Harry informs them - his heart aches to be there right now with theme

“Ezzie cried all night,” Cash let’s his father know.

“Mama cried too,” Easton whispers, like it’s a secret that he doesn’t want her to hear, “I think she is really sad.”

Harry squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, “I know. Ezzie was sad last night. Can I talk to mama?”

Easton looks to his mother off camera as she must say something to him to repeat to Harry, “Mama said that she is busy and she’ll see you when you get home.”

He clenches his fist off camera, trying to smile but he knows it’s terse as he says, “Alright, I love you all. See y’when I get home.”

-

Meanwhile, YN gets all the children settled after breakfast.

Easton, Cash, and Ezra in the backyard - the two older ones digging holes for bugs and the younger playing in the sandbox.

Briar was snoozing in the cradle of YN’s elbow as she sat on a chaise - watching the kids.

She hits the number she was looking for, waiting for it to ring, and then she hears, “Hillside Pediatrics, this is Jess.”

The office knew the family well because Harry is Harry Styles and they have four children who visit there.

YN inquires about therapeutic options for him, resources, and if they had any recommendations for where to take him.

Like the super mom she is, she manages to set up an intake appointment that evening (which was a miracle on its own), call Anne and ask to watch the other children, and then take a deep breathe.

Harry steps through the back door, dressed in his usual Yankees hoodie, Nike shorts, and trainers looking tanner than before.

“Hi bubbies!” He greets, basking in when all of his children look up and squeal excitedly at the sight of their father.

Easton and Cash are the fastest, racing to cling to each legs and nuzzle into his thigh with a tight hug.

Ezra is slower, by the time he’s arrived to his father - there was no room for him to shuffle in and he automatically lets out an earth-shattering wail.

Just like before.

“Daddy! Hold me! Daddy, hold me please!” His youngest son begs desperately, stretching up his arms, and letting hot tears stream down his cheeks.

Harry tuts, reaching for him and popping him on his hip but Ezra has other ideas - scrambling until his nose is pressed into the curve of Harry’s neck with his arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Ezzie, c’mon now,” Harry titters softly, reaching down to give both of his other boys a kiss on the head before they dart back off to play.

“Daddy, miss you,” Ezra blubbers sadly, Harry wincing when his son yanks a bit in his longer curls by the nape of his neck.

“Y’okay, daddy’s got you. Relax, breathe bubba,” His father reassured him, swaying softly back and forth until he’s just sniffing.

“We have an appointment with a children’s play therapist for him later at five,” YN tells him, shushing Briar who’s squeaking from the noise.

Harry takes a deep inhale, “Okay, that sounds like a good idea. Can we talk now since y’been ignoring my calls?”

YN bristles at the attitude in his tone, “Excuse me if I’d rather not be critiqued on my skills as a mother when I am sleep-deprived and stressed out.”

He clenches his jaw, speaking lowly with firmness, “Y’bein’ absurd! I didn’t critique to you, y’blowing things out of proportion! Y’the one who didn’t tell me this was going on!”

“It didn’t get that bad until last night! I could handle it - he would just be upset for a little before bed but he’d never got that anxious before,” She justifies, returning the glare he’s giving her.

“Didn’t think y’could mentioned it to me? I have a right to know, he’s m’baby too. I could have fix this yet you were letting him suffer,” Harry bites out but know as soon as it’s out of his mouth that he wishes he could swallow the words back down.

You were letting him suffer.

YN doesn’t even argue back, just starts bawling because of how hurtful those words were and how could he even say that?

“Mama, fuck- I didn’t, I’m just-“

His wife gets up without a word, using Briar’s blanket to wipe at her wet cheeks, and vanishing through the sliding back doors.

Ezra was snoozing peacefully on him and he couldn’t leave the boys outside alone so he resorts to sitting down on one of the outdoor couches and curse internally.

He couldn’t believe he was being so cruel. He just felt so….betrayed that she hadn’t told him what had been going on and he felt like he was letting down Ezra.

It was a nasty feeling of guilt in the pit of his stomach because he was away so much from his family and it was stressful for everyone.

He wanted to cry at the idea of his son crying for him every night.

-

Harry starts to get anxious when YN isolates herself in their bedroom with Briar for the next upcoming hours.

He knocks softly, opening the door to YN turned on her side away from him, under the covers, with Briar asleep in her bassinet asleep.

“Mama? Y’awake?” Harry murmurs cautiously with a sandwich and chips since she’d disappeared and hadn’t been down once, water in the other hand.

“Are the boys okay?” YN asks quietly, not bothering to turn over to face him.

“Yes, babies are fine. They’re watchin’ Toy Story right now, eatin’ lunch,” Harry replies, eyes falling in his beautiful little daughter.

“If the boys are fine then I don’t want you in here,” YN tells him with an angry tone but low enough that it won’t disturb Briar.

Harry nearly whimpers.

“Baby, please. We need to talk-“

“If the boys are fine, I want you to leave me alone.”

Harry hesitates by the door, feeling helpless as he slips the plate onto the dresser in case she is hungry but he doubts she’ll touch it.

“Alright, I’ll leave y’be. Call me if y’need anythin’ or help with Briar,” He offers, trying to buy time in the room.

She laughs sarcastically, “Yeah, I’ll make sure you’re notified because I can’t do a good enough job myself.”

Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair, trying to conjure up the perfect words to fix this situation but it’s interrupted.

“Daddy? Daddy? Where? Hold me!” Ezra screeches as Easton stands outside the door with him, holding his hand.

“Dad, he won’t stop,” The oldest complains with annoyance as Ezra scurries to his father and up into his arms.

“Daddy daddy,” He chants into his father’s skin with relief.

“Thank y’East, Ezzie’s been sad lately. Huh?” Harry replies, thumbing at Easton’s cheek.

The oldest shrugs, “Not always. Mama cheers him up all the time with kisses and hugs.”

Harry gazes back to the lump under the blankets and feels himself getting choked up. He really really regretted his words.

He didn’t regret being upset with her. He regrets the cheap shots he took at his wife who’s just trying to be a full time mom to his babies.

“Mama?” Ezra squeaks at the word, realizing he hasn’t seen her recently and then he’s back to tantruming, “Mama, mama, mama. Where’s mama?”

“M’right here, Ez,” YN murmurs, flipping to her other side so that her youngest could see her. His face lights up and he scurries to the bed, scampering up until his mom is tucking him under the blankets with her.

Harry’s heart aches when Ezra whimpers quietly and burrows into her warm chest with happiness that he found his mother.

“Y’got him?” Harry asks, hand raking through Easton’s curls as he leans into his father’s side.

“Can we go play now, dad?” Easton asks impatiently, tugging his father out of the room and down the staircase.

-

Anne shows up and the two older ones are so excited, bouncing up and down as they tug her into the backyard to show her the holes they dug with Briar popped on her hip - gnawing on her shirt collar.

YN brings Ezra down the stairs, curls tamed with a bit styling mousse and a little adias x disney outfit that was the cutest thing ever. ***

Harry reaches out to take Ezra off YN but he whines and shakes his head, clinging to his mother like it was life or death.

“No daddy! Mama!” Ezra pouts angrily, glaring at his father with protectiveness.

He puts his hands up, “Okay, okay. Y’can stay with y’mama.”

-

The car ride is silent, Harry doesn’t know what to say and YN isn’t giving him anything to work with. He feels like he’ll just say the wrong thing again.

When they pull up to the building and Harry puts it in park, he’s startled when his wife just starts bawling into her hands.

Harry freezes for a second with wide eyes before rumbling, “Mama, sweetheart. Please don’t cry, it breaks m’heart, darlin’.”

“I’m…I’m no-not a good mom,” YN cries, “I wanted to tell you but I was scared. I don’t want you to think I can’t handle raising our babies.”

Harry pries her hands away from her face, cupping her cheeks and firmly staring, full conviction in his voice, “If I didn’t think y’could handle four babies then I wouldn’t have put them in you. I wouldn’t talk about putting more in you.”

YN’s eyes are watering, letting Harry swipe the tears away with his thumbs as she inhales deeply, “I am so so sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t want you to worry when you’re away.”

Harry leans forward, kissing her harshly before whispering against her lips, “I don’t give a fuck about baseball in comparison to you and the kids. I’d give it up this second if y’asked. I want to worry because you’re the love of m’life and I’m y’husband - I’m here to support you and support our family.”

He continues, “I am a bit frustrated with you. I want you to tell me everything I miss when I’m gone even if it stresses me out or upsets me. Okay? But I shouldn’t have said hurtful things. You’re the best mama on this planet and y’treat our babies the best.”

YN nods, willing herself to stop crying as their appointment starts in ten minutes as she takes steady breathes.

“I forgive you. I’m sorry I let my pride get in the way. I just…I feel like you do everything for us and the least I could do is manage the kids,” She sighs with self-deprecation.

“Mama, just because one of our bubs needs therapy doesn’t mean you’re not doing a perfect job. We’ve always know Ezzie was an anxious baby. This is going to be good for him and for us, right?” He encourages, nosing at her cheek before she offers up her lips once more for a short kiss.

“I love you,” YN tells him, running a thumb of a light dusting of stubble on his jawline.

“Love y’more than anything,” He replies instantly.

-

Ezra is nervous as they step into the calming, peaceful office where there are neatly organized buckets of toys and shelves of books.

Patricia was a middle-aged woman with a kind smile who welcomed them in, she observed how Ezra had himself wrapped around his dad with hesitant green eyes peeking at her.

As they sit down, Patricia says softly, “This must be Ezra?”

They all wait for a moment before the toddler turns around to look at the woman and says timidly, “m’Ezzie.”

“Hi Ezzie,” The therapist greets and he gives her a cautious smile before nuzzling back into his father’s neck.

The discuss what has been going on. How Ezra has always been very nervous, anxious, cautious in a way that none of his other siblings are.

How he struggles when one of his parents is away from him, how he can get upset if he can’t find one of his siblings, or how much he worries about things most kids his age don’t worry about.

Patricia does an excellent job in calming down the parents, assuring them that it was nothing out of the norm, and that therapy would be beneficial for him.

She states that they’ll work a lot of feelings - being able to describe and recognize them. That will be one of the most important things.

Also working on his ability to calm down and cope with stressful situations, recommending once a week which of course his parents agreed to.

By the end of the intake, Ezra had ventured to take one of the baby dolls from a bin and bring it back to his father.

“Look daddy, s’a baby,” He lisps proudly, holding it up to show him.

“Good job, bubs,” Harry laughs, leaning to kiss his forehead - watching him toddle off to find more dolls to play with.

-

That night, after all the kids go to bed, and YN is finishing her final feeding with Briar in her nursery before putting in her crib.

Harry runs a nice, steaming bath with lavender bubbles and a candle burning with the lights dimmed low.

When she finds him, he slowly undresses her with warm kisses and praises of how good of a wife and mother she is.

They lay in there together, YN between his legs with her head rested on his chest, as his hands massage at her tummy and hips lovingly.

And yeah, everything is okay after that.

They get up the next day and everything is back to normal except now Ezra goes to therapy once a week with his parents.

(Ezra ends up working with Patricia until he’s in about sixth grade.)

[saintmurd0ck]

held together by fate | matt murdock x f!reader | part three 

series masterlist

main masterlist

Summary: You find out Matt's secret.

Warnings: Very minor sexual references, blood/injuries/gore, mention of weapons (gun, knife)

A/N: I am honestly so overwhelmed at how many people are enjoying this because me too 😭 I am also excited to finally have this safe space to share my writing!! This is a LONG one (approx 3k words) but I promise with all my heart it is worth it. Part 4 isn't coming for a bit so please hang in there!

Please continue to like, comment and reblog if this resonates with you because it truly helps me to keep going ❤️

Matt’s sweet voice rang through my head. 'I’ll see you very soon.'

So much had happened in the week that passed since I heard those words. Moving to New York, meeting Matt... indulging in him. Chills ran down my spine as I replayed the memory.

I stood in my kitchen, placing a hand on our shared wall. I hadn’t seen him since he kissed me goodnight, but it didn’t bother me; well, not at first, because the last thing I wanted to do was scare him off, but it wasn’t until Foggy came by that I began to feel worried.

“Thanks for letting me in,” Foggy sighed, sitting himself down on my couch.

“Anytime Fog, is everything okay?” I asked, grabbing him a glass of water.

“You haven’t seen Matt at all, have you?” Foggy thanked me for the water, rubbing his temples feverishly.

Dread filled my stomach as I remembered what I’d been seeing on the news. A new threat lurked in our neighbourhood: one they called the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. It was said that he left bodies in his wake, killing mercilessly and swiftly. I frowned. I wasn’t sure that I trusted the media’s portrayal of this vigilante — as Foggy so aptly described — after hearing how they desecrated Harlem’s so-called Bulletproof Man, but the numerous explosions that took out the Russian mob? That didn’t bode well with me. 

“Matt hasn’t been at work?” I asked Foggy, pursing my lips.

“I haven’t seen him since Josie’s…” he trailed off, a grim look settling on his face. 

I nodded. “I haven’t seen him since…” I bit my lip, lowering my voice. “After… that. As well. I have not seen—“ I fidgeted with my hands.

I should’ve known better than to try to lie to a lawyer. Foggy knew exactly what I was implying. 

A loud thud sounded in Matt’s apartment, instantly causing Foggy and I to jump out of our seats. He looked up at me, eyes wide. Foggy didn’t need to use his words to tell me what he was thinking.

We ran out to Matt’s front door, rapping until our knuckles turned pink. “Matt, it’s us, are you there? called Foggy, shifting his weight between his feet.

Another crash and the sound of broken glass.

Foggy swore. “We’re coming in.” He pulled out a set of keys, identical to Matt’s, and swiftly unlocked the door.

Inside, Matt lay in a crumpled heap, his body bloodied and bruised. Foggy paced up and down the living room. “Oh my God, oh my God. Matt’s dead. Oh my God.” 

I shot him a glare. “Foggy, I need you to calm down. Call 911. I’ll deal with Matt.”

A soft groan escaped Matt’s lips. “No ambulance. Please.”

“Shh, Matt. You need help,” I murmured, trying to roll him over. I mouthed at Foggy. Call them now. 

“No 911,” Matt whispered, groaning in pain. 

I felt a sudden burst of anger bubble up through me. “Give me one good reason why, Matt! You’re half-dead and you need serious—“

“Please...” his voice faltered.

My chest tightened at his plea. Against my better judgement, I listened to him. I don’t think he’d ask for this if it weren’t important.

“Okay,” I started, compartmentalising my feelings. I was going to save him, so it was time to get my shit together. “Fog, clean up the glass please,” I pointed to the mess near Matt’s dining table. “Find me a first aid kit and come back here right away.” I felt bad for ordering him around, but every second was crucial.

As Foggy scrambled around the apartment, I got to work. Matt was naked save for a pair of black boxer briefs. In any normal instance I’d stare a little longer, but that was not important. Right now, helping him was the priority. 

I cringed at the sight of his injuries — large, deep wounds on his chest, oozing cuts on his head and face, and what I was sure to be a few broken ribs. Superficial lacerations littered his torso, but given the state he was in, they were the least of my worries.

Using the limited supplies Foggy had gathered, I managed to suture and clean the wounds. Matt gritted his teeth as the needle found his skin, choking back a sob as I completed the first stitch. 

“You’re doing so well, Matty,” I whispered, wiping the sweat that gathered on his forehead. I looked up. “You doing okay, Foggy?”

Foggy nodded profusely, but a closed fist held to his mouth and the retching that followed after lead me to believe he wasn’t. I let Matt know I’d be right back.

I walked to Foggy, seeing that his skin was pale and clammy. I grasped his shoulders with my hands. “He’s alright, you can breathe. He’ll need some rest but, I know my stuff. He’ll be okay.” Foggy flashed an apologetic smile at me, letting me guide him to Matt. 

I knelt down. “Matt, we’re gonna get you into bed, okay?” A quiet grunt followed.

After the struggle that was heaving Matt from the floor to his bed — all five feet and ten inches of him — I was finally able to relax, letting out a sigh of relief. As Matt downed water and painkillers, coaxed in by Foggy, I let my eyes wander. His bedroom was minimally decorated, but what stood out the most was a large, wooden dresser. One of the doors seemed to be propped open, by what looked like a tattered suitcase, but Matt pulled me back down beside him as I got up to push the suitcase in. “Let me—“ I started, attempting to get up again. Matt shook his head, patting beside him. 

His voice was hoarse when he spoke. “I’m sorry guys…”

Foggy touched his shoulder gingerly. “What happened man?”

Matt flinched in response, causing me to grab his hand. I squeezed it, as if to tell him, ‘I hate seeing you hurt’. He squeezed back in response. ‘I know.’

“I… fell down some stairs,” Matt said, every muscle in his jaw tensing.

“Bullshit,” Foggy and I said without hesitation.

Foggy buried his face in his hands. “Jesus Christ, Matt. What the hell happened to you?” A look of hurt flashed across Matt’s face. He tried sitting up straighter, but he winced in pain. “You cannot keep showing up to work, or,” Foggy waved his hands around, “not showing up, with cuts and bruises. You can’t keep using the same excuse. No-one believes you keep ‘falling down the stairs!’”

I looked at Foggy, my stare telling him to take it easy, but Foggy continued. “If you’re not going to be honest, then don’t expect me to understand.” Picking up his suit jacket, Foggy stormed out.

My eyebrows knitted themselves together. This has happened before?

“S’okay, I’ll check in on him later,” I murmured, running circles on Matt’s hand with my thumb.

He tilted his chin up at me, the faintest hint of a defeated smile on his face. I kissed his knuckles, noticing that they too were bruised and bloody. “What happened, Matt?”

He gritted his teeth, again his face showing the trace of a secret he so wanted to share. “I can’t—“

My heart ached in disappointment. “I trust you completely, and I hope you’d be able to do the same,” I shared, trying to conceal the pain in my voice.

“No… no—I—I trust you completely, I just—“ he stuttered.

I grabbed Matt’s phone, on his bedside table, and programmed my number in. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.” I kissed his forehead. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll be right there.”

Matt’s eyes were closed, chin tilted in my direction. For a moment he looked like he was going to say something, but his gentle snores told me it was for another time.

Anxiety gnawed at me as I shut his door and returned to my apartment. I realised I didn’t have Foggy’s number, so I made a note to stop by Nelson and Murdock to let him know what happened. 

In the three years of med school I completed, I saw injuries of every single kind. I patched up hundreds of people, never failing once to set my emotions to the side. Why was it so hard now?

I thought about what I’d just experienced, digging deeper. There is no way this could’ve happened falling down the stairs. Well, maybe if you didn’t know how to walk, but I’ve seen Matt and his cane. He gets around fine. I stared at my front door harder, hoping it would trigger some sort of epiphany. A fall explains a lot of things, but not the knuckles… it’s like he got into a fight. I paused, thinking back to our night in the law office. The scars... on his body.. I huffed, attempting to quiet my mind. 

I shifted my gaze to my left, as if to look directly through my wall at Matt. What won’t you tell me?

I knew we had only just met, but it felt like somehow, we were beyond that. I felt stupid. Maybe getting involved with him wasn’t a good idea. I quickly shut myself down. No, that’s selfish. People have walls up for a reason. What matters is you were there for him. 

Overwhelmed, I stalked to my bedroom. What matters is you were there for him, I reminded myself. The tears came quicker than I expected.

In his haze, Matt listened to my muffled cries, his own heart sinking.

—

I only checked in with Matt once in the few days since Foggy and I found him, almost on death's door. He was looking better, which slightly relieved the tension in my shoulders, but still, at the back of my mind, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he couldn’t tell me. It felt wrong to be worked up over this. It could honestly be nothing. I exhaled. What matters is you were there for him, I thought, repeating the sentence like a mantra. Foggy needed more time before he could face Matt again, but from the look on his face, I knew he was grateful for the update. His remorseful laugh echoed in my head. ‘I’m glad you’re patient enough to deal with his shit.’ 

A sudden rumble of thunder brought me back to earth. It was late, and I was experiencing New York rain for the first time. Fat droplets of water fell from the sky, hitting the pavement in droves like waves of ecstatic applause. The rain created puddles that reflected the city lights beautifully, but they soon became nightmarish as cars rolled through without hesitation, drenching all those in the vicinity. My flimsy black umbrella did little to keep me dry, but since I was only a few streets away from home, I decided to try my luck and sprint to shelter.

I passed Nelson and Murdock on the way, the back of my neck burning as I thought about Matt. He’s fine, I reassured myself, fixing my gaze ahead. A flash of lightning caught my eye, watching as it danced amongst the clouds, drawing me back to a moment in my childhood. A book I loved growing up took place in New York City; the protagonist thrusted into conflict as the result of a lightning storm. I craned my neck upwards as the dazzling white bolts streaked the sky, silently hoping I could see the lightning concentrate around the top of the Empire State Building. I chided myself for even trying. Mount Olympus doesn’t exist. Well, maybe not in this universe.

I stopped dead in my tracks as the sound of a woman’s scream and two gunshots rang out. Holy shit. I willed myself not to panic, adrenaline kicking in and making my arms tingle. Remembering that I spotted a small alley just before the law office, I ran to it, hoping that I avoided whatever was going on around the corner. A grimy door at the end of the alley, its white paint cracked from the effects of time, read FOGWELL’S GYM. My hand reached for the doorknob. Locked. I tried it again, but the doorknob wouldn’t budge. I cursed. Don’t panic. 

Looking around and seeing no other option, I raised my elbow to the glass, praying for strength and courage. I drove it through, watching the glass shatter. I hissed as the glass penetrated my skin, pulling out the singular shard that lodged itself in. Blood trickled down my elbow, but I ignored it, unlocking the door from the inside and hurriedly running in. The smell of musk, old leather and copper filled my nostrils. Fogwell’s appeared to be an old boxing gym that had definitely seen better days. My footsteps were silent as I roved over the floor, moving amongst the weathered punching bags. A dim yellow light filtered through a large wall-to-wall window at the front of the gym. On the other side, on a wall that hadn’t seen daylight in a long time, hung a tattered poster. My heart skipped a beat. CREEL VS MURDOCK, it read. I squinted at the poster, moving closer. Battlin’ Jack Murdock. I ran my fingers over the name, anguishing for the Murdock I knew.

Another gunshot sounded, this one closer. I set my handbag down on the ground, pressing my back to the wall, as I inched closer to the door I broke through. Turning my head ever so slightly, I peeked out of the hole I made. I gasped silently as I watched the armed assailant, his back to me, shaking as he held his gun in front of his face. 

It was more who was in front of him that I gasped at; the windchill and pure fear making me want to recoil into the shadows. It was a man, clad in all black, a mask over his eyes, and his fists outstretched to his sides. The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. With shaky hands covering my mouth to stifle even the smallest sound, I retreated backwards. I misjudged how close I’d set down my handbag as my heel caught on the straps, causing me to fall. My hands braced the impact, sending shockwaves down my arms. I cried out as the gash on my elbow opened up further. 

The armed assailant followed the noise, barging into the gym. I raised my hands up, trembling as the barrel of his gun pointed in perfect alignment with my head. He alternated his aim between me and the Devil, who now stood in the doorway of Fogwell’s Gym. The man in black looked at me, his chest tightening. I watched as he clenched his fists, about to take a step towards me, when his head whipped to his left. He leaned back as a bullet flew past his face. I fought the urge to scream as a second gunman burst through the door, launching himself at the man in black. Executing a seamless combination of punches, kicks and blocks, the Devil made quick, easy work of taking him down, but not before the first gunman attacked, a knife glittering in his hand. Despite dodging his lunging advances, the Devil fell victim to the knife. Fabric and flesh tore as the attacker dragged the blade up the Devil’s side. Baring his teeth, the man in black fought through the pain, shortly bringing the attackers down on the hard floor, leaving them incapacitated and bloody.

I staggered back, hands meeting the back wall of the gym. I clasped my hands together, saying a silent prayer of thanks in between shallow breaths. Thank you, God. 

It was ironic, because the Devil saved my life.

Panting, the man in black gripped the ropes of the boxing ring as he fell back. He was hurt. With an eye kept on the unconscious bodies on the floor, for in case they woke, I ran to him. “Thank you,” I breathed, steadying my hands. “Show me the cut.”

The man groaned, unable to sit up. I used one hand to compress his injury — to stop the bleeding — and the other to check his pulse. As I counted the beats in my head, I felt my own heart stop. I recognised his face. I lifted my hands temporarily, turning the man’s head. Sure enough, I noticed a large cut on his cheek; the same one I had cleaned for Matt several days earlier.

“Huh?” Tears welled in my eyes, and I swallowed. “Matt?” I mumbled, shocked to my core.

The man struggled to slip his mask off. I looked down at Matt’s face, his hair plastered to his forehead, fresh bruises on his face. “Hey,” he breathed, grabbing my hand. 

Wordlessly, I removed my sweater and placed it on his side, compressing the wound with my hands. Matt grimaced at the pressure. Thoughts raced in my head. I had so many questions. I felt my heart rate climbing higher as my stomach sank to the ground. Matt caressed my face. “S’okay,” he said, gasping my name.

“Are you okay, Matt?” I felt myself stumbling over my words. “You haven’t fully recovered yet.”

He groaned, putting an arm around me as he sat up. “I wanted to tell you… I just—“

“I’m here now,” I said, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Does Foggy know?”

“No… but I need to—“ He winced.

Matt tilted his head towards mine, speaking as if he could read my thoughts. “I’m blind. I’ve been blind since I was nine. It’s— it’s complicated,” he started. “I can sense stuff that most people can’t.”

I stuttered as he continued. “I knew you weren’t from here when we met because I could smell Brisbane on you. New York smells like garbage but you were salt, rain and…” he hesitated, looking up at me. “Beer.”

“Not what I would’ve described Brisbane as, but okay,” I muttered.

Matt looked at me. “I heard your heartbeat outside of Josie’s that night. How it sped up when you saw me. The green tea body wash you use in the shower is almost expired. I hear three simultaneous train lines beneath us. There’s the E train,” he paused, pointing down.

I felt… exposed. “Can you hear my heartbeat now?” I asked, pulling away from Matt.

“Yes. It’s going like this.” He took my hand in his, thumping the rhythm of my heart with his finger. “I can’t see you exactly but I can… sense you. Your tattoos feel like striations… underneath them I can feel the pigment, just sitting there under your skin.” 

He ran his hand over the small tattoo on my bicep. 

“I can hear neon too,” he blurted.

“What does it sound like?” I asked, genuinely curious.

“Like the sound of air filling a balloon, but pulsing. Over and over again.”

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief. We chuckled together, but the calm quickly shifted as I looked at his mask. 

“Why do you do this, Matt?” 

He fell silent for a few moments. “The city needs me.”

“In a mask?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Matt’s tone hardened.

"The explosions, everything we've been seeing on the news... that was you?"

"No. I tried to stop them..." Matt faltered. "I don't kill. I'm not a killer."

"So you...," I frowned, trying to get a sense of what role the Devil of Hell's Kitchen played. "...You beat up bad guys?"

Matt managed a half-smile. "I guess you could say that."

I nodded my head. “Okay. Okay. Um..." I took a deep breath. "I— I don’t understand, not yet, but I wasn’t lying about what I said to you our first night together. As you would know,” I gestured to my heart. 

I stopped for a second, remembering Matt couldn’t see, but… maybe he could? I moved on, trying not to overthink. “I will always be here for you.”

Matt’s voice quietened. “It’s entirely possible that I love you.”

I felt my ears heat up. “You don’t mean that, Murdock.”

Fire burned in my chest as Matt took my hands, placing them over his heart. “What does that tell you?”

I batted his hands away, looking down to hide my smile.

“What are you gonna do about those guys?” I asked, uncomfortable at the thought of remaining here much longer.

“Give me your phone. I needa make a call.” 

Dialling 911, Matt’s voice turned gravelly. “I need to report a crime. Fogwell’s Gym. Aggravated assault and attempted murder.”

He hung up, took my hand, and reached for the door. The words burned in my brain as I took one last look over my shoulder.

The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is Matthew Murdock. 

We left without a trace.

—

As I listened to the rain falling outside, while Matt’s 90s Top 40 mix played softly in the background, I felt uneasy. 

“What’s bothering you?” Matt asked, gripping me tighter under his sheets.

“How can you te— ahh, never mind,” I sighed, pushing my hair behind my shoulder. “I don’t know what I feel.”

“It’s been a long day,” Matt whispered, tracing circles on my back.

I turned to face him, the moonlight illuminating the cuts on his face. I cupped his jaw. “I moved here for a reason. To find my reason. My purpose. I didn’t know what that was before but maybe… maybe now I know.”

“What do you mean?” Matt’s voice was gentle.

“I think I was led here to find you, Matthew Murdock,” I smiled, pressing my lips to his.

Matt’s laughter calmed any uneasiness I felt in that moment. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, coyly.

“Don’t get cocky, Murdock. I could kick your ass if I wanted to.” I pushed his chest, and he grimaced a little. “Oh, I’m sorry—“

Matt broke my sentence off with a kiss. “You’re definitely right with that one.”

—

As sleep settled us in the early hours of that morning, I turned my head towards Matt, watching as his chest rose and fell. He must be so tired all the time. 

I closed my eyes, beaming at the thought of a new life here. With him. My heart swelled.

I whispered in his ear, unaware he was still awake. “I think I love you too, Murdock.”

For a second after hearing that, Matt thought about how his city needed him as the man in the mask… the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. 

He was burdened with this purpose.

But, for the first time in a long time, Matt went to sleep that night, not thinking about the people he’d saved or the people he had yet to put behind bars, but thinking about a second chance at life. 

With me.

[sallyf4ce]

wolves

chapter II

-> sally face x f!reader

-> enemies? to lovers

-> previous | next

cw: drugs, cigarettes, abuse, panic attack

*does not follow original plot of sally face*

summary: larry knocks (y/n) off her feet, literally. later, him and sal come to apologize, bearing a gift of homemade lasagna. sal and (y/n) bond over their similar bodies. his eyes look familiar.

The sound of your skateboard and the wind brushing past your ears practically deafened you, which allowed you to think in peace. Maybe you’d survive in Nockfell.

Maybe it wasnt as bad as you made it. You’d grow close to the old apartment, push through school, leave your mother as quickly as possible, and start fresh somewhere across the world. The only thing that you wouldn’t get close to is the forest surrounding Addison. It loomed over you, day and night, dewy pines poking out at you like a warning sign. Maybe mom moved here just so she could torture you with the forest. Remind you of what happened.

Loud footsteps joined the wheels of your skateboard. You looked back, and on your trail were those two kids from the apartment. The tall one’s face was almost right in yours. You let out a small yelp as your skateboard hit a rock and sent you tumbling to the ground, completely destroying your knees in the process.

“Shit!” larry yelled out in surprise as he dodged the skateboard that went right between his legs.

You quickly reached out to your head, trying to calm the searing pain pulsing through it. What the fuck just happened?

“What the fuck?” you groan. The blue haired boy, sal, grabbed your skateboard and came up close to you. pulling down his sleeves, he quickly grabbed your knees and covered them, soaking up the gushing blood.

“Larry!” sal turned around to face him. You winced as the fabric of his sweater clung to your knees. Your hands grabbed his to pull them off but you froze. They were soft and cold, almost like snow. How would it feel to hold them longer? Would you warm them up? or would they freeze you?

What the fuck?

You snapped out of your trance and moved them off your knees. You scowl at larry and pick your skateboard back up.

“Nice job, asshat.”

His face flushes at the insult and he moves back. Sally stands up and offers you his hand, but you dont need his help (obviously a lie, your entire body was aching like a scale 8 earthquake). You shove yourself up and wipe your burning palms on your jeans. With your feet back on the skateboard (it took a few tries to get up because your knees kept buckling), you flip them off and begin skating back to addison. You just wanted a nice fucking stroll alone, why were these fucks literally everywhere you went?

It’s around 12:45 now. You came home, took a bath, bandaged up your knees and took some tylenol. Mom was already in her bedroom and there were some leftover beer bottles on the coffee table, so she probably wouldnt wake up anytime soon. you quickly trashed the bottles and decided for a quick nap on the couch, since your room was… occupied. your pyjamas, for now anyway, consisted of an oversized grey ac/dc shirt and some soft-ass spandex shorts.

“finally, a fucking break from this shit.” a content sigh escaped your lips as you threw yourself onto the cold couch.

a few knocks sounded at your door.

“(y/n)? it’s uh, it’s sal. and larry.”

“fuck.”

THEY’RE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE WHAT THE FUCKKKK AGGHHH WHY CANT THEY LEAVE YOU ALONE THEY ALREADY BUSTED YOUR KNEES LIKE WHAT

“coming.” you mumbled angrily even though they couldn’t hear you.

the blinding fluorescent lights of the hallway hit you as you opened the door. along with them came the smell of freshly baked lasagna. your eyes widened for a second, before looking up at sal. he stared at you, taking in your appearance. your hair was ruffled, eyes blinking sleepily as they adjusted to the light. your shirt had ridden up and showed a bit of your stomach. he blushed as you pulled it down and glared at him, a slight tinge of red on your own cheeks.

“larry.” he nudged his friend. the brunette walked up in front of sal, holding a pan of lasagna.

“listen man, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to fuck up your knees n shit. jus’ got excited cause of your sanity falls shirt. can we, uh, can we come in?”

Slam.

larry quickly jumped back in surprise.

“i guess that means no.”

you yelled out a quick ‘wait!’ as you cleaned up your apartment and hid your mom’s weed and other things. god, for a grown woman, she didn’t know how to clean for shit.

opening the door back up, you waved them inside.

“god, you smoke a lot.” larry coughed a bit at the smell of your apartment, which earned him a shove.

“sorry! god, sal, so mean.” he mumbled.

“s’ my mom. i only smoke outside. uh, take a seat on the couch, i’ll warm up the lasagna.” you pulled it out of larry’s hands as they both took a seat on your makeshift bed.

sal shifted. “you sleep here?” he asked, confused. maybe your room was being used as storage.

“for now. there’s some weird ghost shit going on in my room. some fucking preppy ghost woman keeps squealing when i come in.”

ghosts? you believed in ghosts? maybe they’d be able to take you on their expeditions! sal perked up at the thought of you becoming friends.

“you believe in ghosts?”

“well, i saw one, so what else could it fucking be?” you chuckled as you shoveled the now warmed up lasagna onto three plates. sal noticed and his eyes widened.

“oh, no, i- i don’t want any-” he waves his hands.

“you’re having it, i don’t care.”

larry laughs as you shove it into their hands.

“feisty, aren’t ya?” he stabs some and shoves it into his mouth. you sigh and lean back into the couch.

“you guys go to the school here, right?”

larry nods. “yeah, there’s only one school in nockfell.”

“eww, larry face, don’t chew with food in your mouth.” sally laughs. in the corner of his eyes, he thinks he can see you smile.

“yeah, we go to nockfell high. i’m assuming you’re going there too.”

“mhm. starting monday. hurry up and eat, i’m not warming it up again.” you grumble. sal doesn’t move. “god, okay, i’ll look away. i have to go clean this thing anyway.” you wave your prosthetic’s fingers.

“oh, yeah, you also have a prosthetic!” his face shifts into a child-like curiosity. it’s a face that you’ve seen before, and it makes you giggle a bit every time. you place your hand on his lap. sal does a double take and his mask raises a bit.

“you wanna touch it, don’t you. go ahead.”

“damn, sal, you get all the ladies. leave some for me.” larry chimes in, hand on his forehead in mock sadness. he chuckles.

“you gonna touch it or what?”

“uh, yeah.” sal slowly lowers his hands onto it. he traces your fingers, flexing them every once in a while. he flips your palm and looks at the graffiti ‘s’ you drew on it.

“when was this?” he looks back up at you.

“grade 10, two years ago. got bored in class and accidentally took out my sharpie instead of a dry-erase marker. god, my mom was mad.” you chuckle at the memory. she didnt let you back in the house for two days. you had to camp out in the shed, where you stored your extra food so she wouldn’t steal it.

sal hummed. “what about this one?” it was a big ‘SF’. was it for his name? of course not, she didn’t know you back then, moron. still, it warmed him up a bit.

“not for you, that’s for sure.”

“damnnn, savage!” larry put his plate down. “mind if i get more?”

“larry, we brought it for (y/n).” sal scolded.

“nah, i don’t mind. knock yourself out.” you nodded, continuing your conversation with sal.

larry trotted towards the kitchen.

larry’s point of view:

sal and (y/n) seemed to be getting along quite well. good for him, really. we might be able to coax (y/n) into our friend group. i didn’t like her at first, but i think she’s just a little stand-offish. anyway, back to the lasagna. man, i wish mom would make it more often. she only makes it for guests. where is it? oh, there. (y/n)’s going to nockfell high, right? probably should tell her about travis.

your point of view:

sal was still tracing your arm, running his pale fingers over where the prosthetic connected to your skin. the doctors could have chopped your arm off completely, up to your elbow, but you wanted to salvage as much as you could, so it stops mid-forearm.

“do you take it off often?” sal hummed. it felt a little intimate, tracing your prosthetic. it was like soothing a part of your body that was already gone. what? what was he thinking?

“mmm, i take it off every night. if i leave it on, i could get rashes ‘n shit. rashes aren’t fun. ‘m assuming you take yours off every night too.” he nods.

“i don’t like taking it off during the day. phantom limb shit, you know? it hurts a lot.” you grumble.

“got the lasagna. since you’re going to nockfell, ‘should probably tell you about travis.” larry sits down. “he’s your typical stick-up-the-ass bully. doesn’t really like sally face ‘n our crew.”

“yeah. just ignore him and you should be fine.”

“we‘ll protect you.” larry swings an arm over your shoulder.

huh? you can protect yourself. does he think you can’t? is it because of your prosthetic?

“i can do it myself, you dimwit.” you push his arm off your shoulder.

“time for you to leave.”

“woah, dude, calm down-” larry’s eyes widen in panic. he didn’t mean to offend you.

“i’m sorry!”

“i’m not hurt, just need my sleep. it’s 1:30. go on now.”

sal sets down his cold, uneaten lasagna and larry takes a quick bite out of his.

“see ya!” he mumbled, words muffled by food. you click your teeth as he walks out of your apartment and towards the elevator.

“(y/n).”

you spin around to face sal. his hand lingers on your counter.

“your knees. how are they?”

you look at his eyes through his mask. they’re light blue. like the lake that you so dreaded. like the sky that morning. like your dad’s shirt. he blinks.

“uh, f-fine. they’re fine. they should heal in a few days. time for you to go.” you grab his shoulders and shove him through the door.

“see you tomorrow?” he stumbles.

“yeah.” the door shuts with a slam and you’re filled with an overwhelming sense of dread.

oh god, not this again. your vision blurs as you try to grasp onto your breath. you can hear the blood rushing in your ears. your heart thuds like it’s going to break through your rib cage. it feels like someone is strangling you, coaxing the last breath of air from your lungs. your nails scratch at your throat desperately, your salty tears only making the marks burn more. at least the cold metal of your prosthetic cools you down a bit.

shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. you can’t wake anyone. you bite down on your lip to suppress the strangled cries leaving your mouth. god, not the lake, please. not the forest. not the huge, dirty, rabid wolf-looking creature behind your father. not his cries. please, just make it shut up. SHUT UP.

you wake up the next morning to your alarm ringing.

taglist: @purelydarling @ghostfacefricker6969 @deadpoetsandhoney

[petri808]

OHMYGODDD JUST SAW YOUR LATEST POST I LOVE IT ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING IS JUST CHEF'S KISS. I WOULD LOVE TO SEE 42, 49 and 13 FOR NALU PLEASEEE CAN'T WAIT TO READ ITT

😳 Ya’ll really love angst huh? Lol okay, sure let’s see what I can come up with. 😊 “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!” + “I’m pregnant” + “Im too sober for this”

Lucy’s knees weakened and sent her crumbling to the bathroom floor. Why was this happening to her?! She’d just finished college and was about to start her paid internship with a local newspaper. ‘What am I gonna do?’ Lucy gripped to the stick in her hand as the tears trickled down her face. This could derail her future before it even started— all because of one slip-up. How was she going to tell Natsu… Not knowing who else to talk to, Lucy turned to her best friend Levy McGarden. She texted the woman and drove over to her friends apartment in dread.

“Oh, Lu…” Levy hugged her friend tightly before pulling her into the small apartment. She sat Lucy down on the couch, then made them both some tea. “How you feeling?” Levy asked as she handed the cup over.

“How do you think I’m feeling?!” Lucy groaned. “I feel like I’m in a nightmare.”

“Are you sure the results are correct? You know those home pregnancy tests can be wrong.”

“I don’t know, I mean I followed the instructions and it didn’t give an error sign.” Lucy pulled the stick from her pocket. “See?” She showed it to her friend. “Two lines.”

“Oh— yeah, looks like it,” Levy agreed.

Lucy pocketed the test once again and hung her head. Both hands cradled the warm cup, just holding it without a desire to drink from it. “Just thinking about this is making me sick. Maybe I can just pretend it’s not true.”

“Lu, that’s ridiculous. I’m pretty sure the growing bump on your stomach will make that difficult.”

“Ugh! I know!” Lucy shrieked. “Lie to me or something… Levy, I-I don’t think I can deal with this!”

“Well, you have to. And how am I supposed to lie about this?!”

“I don’t know, tell me this is a dream. Just a bad dream that I’m gonna wake up from. The test was wrong, something! Maybe it’s just a fiction story I’m working on cause I just don’t wanna think about it right now.”

“I’m sorry, but you can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did! Lucy you have to face reality.”

“What am I gonna do Levy? I can’t be having a baby!”

“Well first things first, you need to tell Natsu— I’m assuming it’s Natsu.”

“Of course, it’s Natsu! I haven’t slept with anyone else.”

“Well you need to tell him. He deserves to know.”

“I know…”

“Natsu’s a stand up guy, I know he’s going to do the right thing.”

Lucy sighed, “that’s not what I worry about. I mean having kids is something that’s crossed my mind… just not anytime soon. We’re not even married yet. Ugh! I’m such an idiot.”

“Sometimes these things happen.” Levy placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Can’t go back to the past, so now all you can do is figure out the now. Do you have any idea when it happened?”

“My guess is my graduation party, cause that was the last time we had sex. I barely even remember it cause I was so drunk,” Lucy whimpered, then started to sob. “We’re usually careful but… yeah, it had to be that.”

“Come here,” Levy pulled her friend into a hug. “You’re gonna be okay. Whatever happens, you’re gonna be okay.”

The women spent a couple more hours chatting, flipping between random topics, but often coming back to this one. Lucy struggled to even wrap her mind around the reality that this is real. That she was going to have a child, when she was barely an adult herself and all the factors involved only compounded her dilemma. Her new job isn’t going to afford a child. Natsu had a decent job, but even combined it would be a struggle. They’d have to find a place together, a two bedroom house or apartment. What about the medical expenses, and the baby supplies— babies are expensive! Where was the money going to come from?

When Lucy noticed the time and realized Natsu would be coming home from work within the hour, she thanked her friend for the support and bid her goodbye. Even though she had calmed down a little, she wasn’t ready, didn’t know what or how she was going to break the news to him. So, after arriving home, Lucy tried to distract herself by cooking dinner. It didn’t really work, but at least a meal was made. Her life until now had been going well in that she had a boyfriend who treated her right, supported her while she finished her degree, even pushed her to follow her dreams of writing. And now that her degree was finished, Lucy was on her way after landing the paid internship. If she passed the internship, they would offer her a permanent position at the newspaper.

But now all of that felt like it was slipping through her fingers. All her hard work for nothing because juggling a small child and going to work… Maternity leave is not paid, so they’ll have to rely on just one income for a time, then daycare is quite expensive. Sure, there are programs that she could apply for to help or family, but that’s not the point— the point is, they are sorely not ready to become parents.

“I’m home!” Natsu called out as he entered the apartment. “Something smells good!”

“Welcome home, Natsu.” Lucy called out from the kitchen. “It’s almost done.”

Natsu detected a change in his girlfriend’s tone. Usually when he gets home, she’s in a happier mood— but not today. He threw his keys onto the kitchen island and walked up, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Everything okay?”

Whatever words she’d planned to say were thrown out the window as tears pooled instantly in Lucy’s eyes. “Natsu, it’s…”the words stumbled out, “um… I-I’m pregnant.”

“P-Preg…nant?!” Natsu took a step back in shock, his trembling hand moving to cover his mouth. “Oh, wow— I’m too sober for this,” he mumbled.

“Pregnant,” she repeated as the sobs broke free. “And alcohol is what got us into this mess!” Lucy snapped and sobbed louder.

“Oh, h-hey now, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Natsu pulled her into his arms. “Don’t cry baby, please don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry.”

“Natsu, I’m pregnant, did you hear me?! Pregnant! I can’t be pregnant!”

“Shh… I hear you,” he gently coaxed Lucy to the couch and had her sit down, then sat beside her, cradling her close. “True, it’s not the best time… but we can make it work.”

“You don’t understand, I’m not ready, Natsu. I don’t think I could handle it…” all the reasons refreshing in her mind. “I have no experience with with kids. What if we screw up? It’s just…” Lucy sighed. “I think… I’m too overwhelmed right now.”

“Okay, well— they make those things now, the, um, end pregnancy stuff.”

“I don’t know…”

“Lucy, I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“You say that now, but later you’ll probably resent me for… kil— doing that,” she mumbled.

“I don’t know that so neither can you. All I do know is that yes it might hurt— but you’re the important thing right now, and if you say you’re not ready, then I have to accept it. Kids are never easy, I doubt all the preparation in the world can really make a difference. But Lucy,” he took her hand and held it to his chest. “As long as I’ve known you, whatever you choose to do you’re great at it.”

“Really?” She looked up with hope filling her eyes for the first time all day.

Natsu smiled. “And who better to start a family with?” He cupped her cheeks and kissed her. “Then a smart, sassy, beautiful woman like you.”

Lucy’s eyes flooded with tears. “You really think we can make it work?”

He nodded. “As long as it’s something we really want, then yeah.”

After a momentary pause, Lucy let out a long stabilizing exhale. “Okay. I’ll call my doctor and make an appointment tomorrow to check.”

“Really? Y-You sure? Because I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to coax you into this.”

“No, I-I’m pretty— sure. Things sometimes happen for a reason, right? Maybe it’s meant to be.”

Natsu pulled her in for another longer kiss. “Guess I better hurry up and marry you then,” he chuckled.

She snorted a laugh. “I guess so mister!”

He pulled her close again, hugging her to his chest. “I love you so much baby.”

“Mmm, I love you too.”

“My own baby momma,” he teased.

Lucy slapped his chest with a giggling shriek. “Don’t you dare call me that!”

“Oh,” he grinned, “I’m totally getting t-shirts made.”

[bakugou-tm]

Master Knows Best (18+)

Bakugou x Maid Cafe Reader

plot: You’ve gone almost a full year working at a maid cafe with none of your friends finding out, which is exactly how you liked it; but thanks to a certain friend your beloved hot headed boyfriend found out your secret and planned on teasing you the whole time. In a stubborn attempt to get back at him, you realized exactly what would happen if you disobeyed your master

warnings: suggestive NSFW, swearing, a shit ton of teasing

wc: 5200+

mood song: worst behavior

a/n: I was supposed to post this on valentine’s day but it’s better late than never right? I perhaps may make a part two depending on how this does but I’m also a s s at NSFW so we’ll see. For now just enjoy (especially my fellow brats out there)

You liked things to be simple. You were a simple girl, with a simple life.

Sure you had your secrets, but thanks to your overall simplicity, nobody even bothered to uncover them.

That’s just the way you liked it too. Each different part of your life was separated as they should, for if they intertwined your life would becoming a living nightmare.

You never dreamed that living nightmare would become a reality. Who knew all it would take to crumble the reputation you built up for so long...

was a simple text.

Sweat trickled down the ash blond’s toned arms, his ragged breath becoming more steady as he slumped down against the wall while his friend took a few rounds at the punching bag.

The sound of his phone buzzing beside him didn’t drag him out of his exhausted mindset quite yet, but when his crimson eyes glanced across the words on the screen he felt everything come to a halt.

electric dunce: remember that day time job (l/n) said she had during the weekends? i think i found it bro..

electric dunce: 1 attachment

Bakugou’s red haired training buddy noticed the change in spirit with his blond friend, noticing how his heavy breathing suddenly stopped.

Wiping his gloved hand across his forehead, Kirishima glanced down to his friend only to see Bakugou’s eyebrows knit in a deep focus.

“You uh... You okay bro?” Kirishima questioned with a raised brow, trying to control his own ragged breaths after he attacked the swaying back before him.

Before he could question his friend once more, Bakugou let out a breathy chuckle, one filled with mischief and even excitement if Kirishima listened well enough.

“Training is cut short today shitty hair.”

-

“Come onnnn (L/n), how could you tell us you have a job then not tell us what it is?” The pink haired girl whined as she slid her upper half onto your lap and sighed dramatically.

Giggling slightly your eyes flicked to Kaminari across from you as his lips doubled over into a pout, “The whole point of having a job is so your friends can come crash it!”

“And to make some money dumbo.” You sneered, flicking his forehead gently while glancing down to Mina’s attempt at puppy dog eyes, “Besides, I didn’t want to tell you guys. You forced me to tell you where I went after school or you said you would doxx me.”

Your friends let out a sigh of defeat as Kirishima glanced to your boyfriend beside you, “C’mon Baku-bro not even you know where she works?”

Smirking slightly you placed a gentle palm on your boyfriends cheek and winked to him tauntingly,

“Not even Katsuki~”

Bakugou simply clicked his tongue and smacked your hand away, “I don’t know because I don’t fucking care.”

Oh but he did care. It ate away at him everyday that you refused to reveal where you worked. You claimed it would be “embarrassing” for him to see you working and wearing a uniform but he failed to understand why it would be. He brutally antagonized you all the time and you never bat an eye, why would he care if he saw you wearing a ‘Mini-Mart’ uniform?

You simply hummed at your boyfriend’s denial and leaned against his side.

“Say whatever you need to make you feel better love,” You purred, grinning at his scowl before you looked to your group of friends,

“Because you will never find out where I work, ever.”

-

Bakugou felt like he was in a state of euphoria as he stood before the quaint wooden doors, decorated with all sorts of pastel ribbons and paint.

It was almost as if he was entering the doors of heaven, the ultimate satisfaction of knowing he was about to beat you and your stupid threat.

And better yet, of all the places to find out you worked, it was here?

Oh he was going to enjoy this, even beyond getting revenge.

“Never find out my ass.” Bakugou sneered with a smirk, letting the soft breeze flow through his spiky locks as he tugged open the door into the unknown.

Meanwhile you were attempting to gracefully, yet quickly, get your uniform back on since your break ended in about thirty seconds. You hated how good you had gotten at putting on this stupid uniform, soon enough it would be second nature to you.

Working at a Maid Cafe wasn’t exactly where you planned to end up. When you stumbled onto the small podium in kindergarten to announce your future career, you surely didn’t say “I want to be a server at a Maid Cafe!”

And yet here you were pulling up the thigh high socks to your frilly, bow covered maid dress.

Admittedly when you were searching for jobs, you were surprised to find no luck. Any job that paid well required university years, and any left over job wouldn’t pay enough for your time to walk there.

It wasn’t until your aunt came to you in your troubles and recommended the job of your nightmares.

“My sweetheart why don’t you just work at my niece’s Maid Cafe? You’ll get to work with very sweet young girls about your age, and they pay very well since they have a very diverse clientele!”

Immediately you threw away the idea before you could even process it, the thought of having to serve gross old men and pretend to be excited while doing it didn’t sound appealing, let alone possible.

With that said, that didn’t mean your aunt was going to give up just yet. Without telling you she scheduled an interview for you, telling you if you didn’t show up it would make your family look bad.

Feeling the inevitable guilt throughout the day, you submitted into your aunt’s wishes and at least showed up to the interview.

Who knew? Maybe they would just let you be a janitor or something.

Sure enough they wanted you as a maid, but before you could even deny they offered double what any job had offered you, even the high paying ones.

“We know the job isn’t ideal, which is why we pay so much. A young girl like you would be just perfect here!”

Push came to shove, and somehow you ended up working at the cafe for a year and a half now.

You couldn’t lie, dressing up all cute and getting to hang out with a bunch of sweet girls was pretty fun. It beats mopping an empty grocery store with creepy co-workers.

With that said, the dread of having to deal with pervy customers and the existential fear of one of your friends walking through the door almost outweighed the pros of the job.

Luckily you had been able to escape doom for this long, so what are the odds that would change anytime soon?

-

The sound of the bell charming brought you back to your senses, quickly tying the silk bow behind your back you stumbled out into the break room to see your boss awaiting.

“Phew I thought you almost ditched us (L/n).” Your boss said with a wink.

Rolling your eyes you began walking backwards towards the swinging doors that led to the dining room.

“Have I ever failed you Miss Manager?” You purred with a grin.

Satisfied with her laugh you danced through the double doors, putting on your cute act once again. Only two hours left and you could go home and pig out on what was left in your pantry.

If that’s truly all it took, you didn’t mind turning on your “anime girl” side for a few hours.

Smiling at all the guests you made sure to check on everyone’s table before making your way towards the greeting podium. The doorbell went off so that meant some sort of customer was waiting to be sat.

Giving one last wink to a customer you whipped your head towards the front doors and gave a small bow before looking up.

“Welcome back to Maid Cafe master, would you like me to show you to your se..AHHHH!”

The moment your eyes met the sturdy figure before you, all senses jumped out the window as you screeched and jumped backwards defensively.

How.. How could this happen? This couldn’t be happening. All your intricate planning and anxious working to make sure no one you knew would ever catch you on the job.

And out of all the people in the world... it had to be Katsuki Bakugou.

Your ever so taunting boyfriend.

Sure enough Bakugou had a shit eating grin on his face, his eyes glowing with excitement for probably more reasons than you could count.

“Well well well, don’t you look familiar.”

At this point words weren’t even an option in your mind, you couldn’t tell if the cold spike of fear shooting up your spine was worse or the overwhelming heat that flared along your face.

Your little outburst didn’t go unnoticed by the guests and maids, all eyes moved to the two of you as you stumbled over your own words.

“Y..You- I.. but I.. and you! I can’t...”

“(L/n) is something the matter?”

The sound of your boss’ sweet voice from behind you caused you to shriek again as you now jumped to face her.

Feeling your face grow even warmer you avoided eye-contact with her, trying to use what was left of your slowly deflating brain to come up with an excuse to fix this entire mess.

“Yeah princess, is something the matter?”

Between the chilling tone and the pet name you physically shuddered, your head slowly peaking back to the problem at hand.

Bakugou couldn’t help but notice your reaction, sneering cockily as he looked down on you with pride.

“Zip it Bakugou-” 

“Ah ah..” Bakugou started before you could even finish your threat, “I believe you are supposed to refer to me as master.”

If your brain wasn’t broken before, it sure was now. Your internal mix of equally enjoying this and hating this had officially clashed and broken any sense at this point. All you could feel beyond anger at this point was complete and utter embarrassment.

“(L/n) you’re not having any trouble greeting our guest, are you?” Your boss questioned sternly.

You’ve honestly never heard her get so serious with you, given this was far from her angry side, but you hated disappointing your superiors.

Glancing around you still noticed some eyes on you along with your suspicious boss’. At this point there was no escaping the situation, and like hell were you going to give this bastard the satisfaction of your embarrassment.

“N..No ma’am, no trouble at all!” You said back in your sweet work voice, offering the best smile you could muster before twitching back to your smug boyfriend.

“Let me uh... let me show you to your table...” You stuttered out, grabbing a single menu before looking up at your expectant boyfriend’s expression. You knew exactly what the little shit was waiting for, and if you didn’t say it your boss would surely drag you to the back.

“Master.”

Bakugou sighed in dramatic satisfaction, clasping his hands together sarcastically and bending down to your level, “Fucking splendid.”

Gritting your teeth you glared into his crimson orbs before spinning on your heel, plastering the cute smile on your face so your boss could get off your back.

Once she seemed to notice you returned to your old state, she let out a gentle sigh and walked away to serve her tables.

At the very least you felt a bit less tense knowing she wasn’t following you like a hawk, but she was far from the problem at hand.

Quickly b-lining towards a table in the corner, you slammed the menu down and pulled out the chair, offering the most sarcastically pleasant smile you could.

Bakugou gladly took his seat, making sure to drag his hand along the small of your back on the way down. He throughly enjoyed each time you shivered from his touch, or even words.

First you decided to take his order, making sure all eyes were officially off the two of you. Once you decided the coast was clear, you quickly grabbed the collar of his tank top, as you bent down to be eye level with him.

“How did you find out about my job Katsuki.”

Bakugou grunted in surprise, catching himself quickly before he smirked back to your fuming expression. Oh how adorable you were when you were mad.

Your thick eyebrows would knit together in a deep focus and your plush lips would pinch into a perfect pout that drove him crazy.

As the blond smugly glanced over your features, his eyes flicked up only to notice other eyes were facing the two of you once again, only this time they only seemed to be on you. On your backside.

The way you were bending down seemed to perfectly expose your backside to the world, and your dumbass was too oblivious with him to even realize it.

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou placed a firm palm on the edge of your spine before shoving you down to your knees so the back of your dress would cover your backside once again.

The action caused a small yelp to escape your lips, you assumed he had done it to embarrass you which made you that much more mad.

“Answer. My. Question.”

Once the ash blond was satisfied with your state and he glared at any that dared to still look at you, he glanced back down to your fiery orbs with an unimpressed look.

Rolling his eyes he slapped your hand away causing you to huff before he shoved the photo Kaminari sent to him.

Glancing over the photo you eyes widened to see a photo of you through the window of the Maid Cafe assisting a customer.

Your cheeks began to glow red again as you worriedly looked up to Bakugou, “You guys actually doxxed me?!”

Bakugou raised a brow and snatched his phone back with a sigh.

“I didn’t, I can’t speak for that stupid dunce but I’ll deal with his reasoning later,” He explained before his dreadful smirk returned as he cupped the edge of your chin, “Back to the elephant in the room, how come you hid such a delicious fucking secret from your master.” 

As much as you would’ve loved this behind closed doors, to be openly embarrassed in public made your head feel like it was going to explode.

“S..Stop acting all smug you idiot!” You snapped, smacking his hand from your chin and standing up straight, “I hid this from you so you wouldn’t act like an egotistical dick.”

At this Bakugou barked out a laugh, the booming sound causing you to jump a bit as he slouched back in his chair, folding his arms with that smug grin.

“I think we’ve already come to the conclusion that my fucking ego is backed up, or have you forgotten doll?”

His piercing red eyes narrowed to your own, the sight making you blush as you jerked your head to the side and huffed.

“Can you order already idiot? I’ve got plenty of other orders to take.”

Bakugou simply smirked and picked up the menu, glancing down the options before shoving it in your arms.

“I’ll get two of the shitty rice bears,” He explained, grinning when he saw you look up with a raised brow, “I’ve got a hungry maid coming home soon waiting to please her master.”

Your confused expression turned into a flushed angry one as you snatched the menu from him and turned on your heel. You didn’t even remember what he asked for but at this point you didn’t care. You just wanted to hide from the customers so you could collect what dignity you had left.

The moment you brushed by the double doors you let out a sigh of relief as you rested your head against the back wall. Maybe if you closed your eyes and pinched yourself hard enough you would wake up from this horrible nightmare?

You could only imagine the things Bakugou was thinking. Does he think you’re some ditzy pushover maid girl now? Is he texting your friends telling them that you work here? Honestly Kaminari has probably already done that.

It was so nice having the upper hand on him for once, but now that he took every last bit of dignity and laughed in your face, you were doomed.

“Rough shift huh?”

Raising your brows you peaked an eye open to see one of your coworkers with a concerned expression. Standing up straight you fixed a piece of your hair and nodded.

“Yeah I guess you could say that..”

“How come you were acting so weird with that customer (L/n)-chan?” Your manager called from behind, carrying a bunch of plates as she walked beside your coworker, “Is it because he’s crazy hot?”

Folding your arms you let out a huff as you pouted your lips out,

“Try boyfriend.”

Both girls gasped in shock, your boss nearly dropping the plates in her hand as they looked two you in disbelief.

“Wow sorry for calling him hot, I never knew you had a boyfriend (L/n)! And a hunk at that~”

Letting out a slight chuckle, both your eyes fell on your coworker when she spoke up.

“You know this same thing happened to me with my boyfriend,” She spoke while tapping her finger against her cheek in thought, “I didn’t want him finding out about my job because I knew he would make fun of me, then one day he showed up and sure enough started making fun of me.”

Frowning you let out a sigh as you rubbed the side of your face exasperatedly, “My dumb boyfriend is doing that too! What did you end up doing with yours?”

Your coworker grinned as she shrugged.

“I simply fought fire with fire. Since he was making fun of me, I made him eat his words and watch me serve the other customers. He ended up getting so jealous he left!”

The advice she had given you finally brought warmth back to your numb body, you felt a grin rise to your face as you quickly wrapped your arms around your coworker.

“You are a lifesaver woman! I owe you so much for that advice.”

Your coworker simply laughed and hugged you back, happy to see you back in your normal cheerful state.

“Yeah have some fun but don’t ruin the experience for our other guests!” Your boss called out before walking out the door with the plates.

“I should probably get out there too, let me know if you need any help (L/n)-chan.” Your coworker said with a mischievous grin before dancing out the double doors.

Your mind was rushing with ideas, how could you of not thought of this before? Your explosive boyfriend could get jealous from a rock on the street, this would be the perfect pay back for you!

If he was going to come into your workplace and wreak havoc, you would do the same for his inflated ego.

Fixing up your dress you grabbed the two plates and narrowed your eyes towards the dining room.

“Bring it on Bakugou Katsuki.”

-

Oh did Bakugou feel pleased with himself.

Normally he hated skipping out on a workout, but this was worth it.

He couldn’t let the image of your adorable flushed expression and tense body escape his mind. Let alone that maid costume on you was divine on your plush skin.

The fact that you refused to wear a maid costume in the bedroom made it that much better, no wonder you were trying to hide this job from him.

The way the black silk hugged every curve, just tight enough to where your skin was overflowing from the material. And those thighs squeezing out of those adorable thigh highs drove him wild.

If he hadn’t made the best discovery of his life today, he would almost be mad you were strutting around in such a costume for anyone other than himself.

Deciding to wait another day to deal with that, Bakugou simply enjoyed the scenery and awaited for his girlfriend.

Just like clockwork he saw your form dance out of the backroom a bit too peppy. The thought of you “collecting” yourself in the back only made him sneer with a sadistic grin, he would simply break you all over again when you served him the food.

Just as you sauntered over to his table, the ash blond looked you up and down with a smirk, opening his mouth to say something truly condescending until your body turn away from him and towards another table.

“Here’s your panda shaped muffin and honeydew boba masters!” You spoke to the two customers at the table in front of him, “Is there anything else I can get for you my handsome masters?”

Bakugou felt his heart drop at the sound of you calling another living organism your master. Were you doing this on purpose? Is this usually how you talked to the shitty customers here?

His answer was confirmed when a small squeak escaped your lips and you bent down towards the table, your chest surely giving the two guests a show given their cherry lit cheeks as your thumb grazed across one of the customer’s cheeks.

“Silly master, you have some icing on your cheek.” You said with the most divine giggle he had ever heard. Gritting his teeth his entire world froze when you stuck the finger in your mouth and licked the white cream off clean, “No worries, I got it for you~”

The man before you looked like he was going to bust on the spot, his friend watching with his jaw dropped and eyes filled with jealousy.

Smiling sweetly you gave them one last bow, “Let me know if you need anything else masters!”

Just before you danced away from their table you glanced to Bakugou, giving him a small smirk as you looked him up and down with unimpressed eyes before sauntering away, leaving your explosive boyfriend on the verge of a breakdown.

You truly had a death wish. It was the only explanation for your actions. For almost a full hour you kept that act up, leaving the many guests within the cafe speechless and ogling over you. You knew exactly how jealous Bakugou could get, and you knew he hated admitting it.

Of course Bakugou also knew what a little tease you were. He didn’t miss the delight in your glistening eyes each time you taunted him, waiting for the repercussions of his wrath. But this...

This crossed the line of his sanity.

The ash blond tried to wait til your shift was over, he really did. As furious as he was with you, he wasn’t irresponsible enough to make you lose your job. But the moment your finger tips danced along the shoulder of a guest, any bit of restraint the male had left in his body had snapped like a twig.

The sound of him storming up from his table caused the immediate guests around him to look up, his silverware clanking against the pink trimmed plate as he made a direct line towards you.

Unfortunately for you, the scene your boyfriend caused went over your head as you continued to jot down the order from the customers before you. Focusing on your blossom shaped ordering pad you didn’t notice the horrified expressions on the customers before you as the saw an angry Bakugou storming up behind you.

“I’ll get those orders right up for you masters~” You exclaimed with a cute wink as you began to walk off until a firm hand wrapped around your wrist in a vice grip.

Bakugou could have loosened his bit a grip he realized when you let out a small yelp but he had already committed and like hell was he going to let you flirt with another damn customer right before his very eyes.

Your sweet words, gentle touches, suggestive actions... they weren’t meant for him and him only.

Immiedetly you recognized your boyfriend’s sharp hold and tried to tug your hand away so not to make a scene, but the ash blond simple spun your wrist around and pinned it to your back, giving him full control of wherever you walk.

With a squeak he shoved you forward, causing you to stumble over your own feet as he quickly pushed you towards the backroom.

You briefly met gaze with your boss as he shoved you by, your eyes pleading for help as they were filled with regret. Your boss opened her mouth, not sure what to even do.

“E..Excuse me sir? You can’t touch the-”

Before she could even finish her sentence Bakugou flashed a sharp glare to the woman, his crimson orbs thin from lack of patience and absolute fury.

Your boss was smart enough to know your boyfriend was truly about to go feral, for her life and your own she decided it was best to turn away and pretend she saw nothing.

You let out a small pout when you saw her attempt to serve the shocked guests, leaving you to be shoved into the backroom by a surely pent up Bakugou.

Once you reached the back you saw your coworker, the one that had given you such brilliant advice before, shoving a pastry in her mouth as she was on her break. Her eyes first fell on the dark lidded ones of your boyfriend before falling on your pleading fearful eyes.

Her mouth opened, unsure of what to say before closing.

“I’m uh.. gonna take my break outside.” She muttered softly, politely pushing the chair in and offering the best smile she could before she quickly shuffled out the back doors.

Once the room was clear Bakugou let go of your wrist, giving you a chance to stretch your arm back in it’s proper position before the sound of the back door slamming to a close caused you to shriek in surprise.

Bakugou couldn’t help but smirk as you jumped, as angry as he was he loved seeing you so on edge thanks to him. Returning to a serious expression he watched as you turned around, attempting to put on a serious face of your own.

“Bakugou you know I still have thirty minutes left of my shift-”

Trying to speak was hard enough as is with the thick tension in the room, but when the ash blond slammed his hands on either side of you against the wooden break table you let out a shriek and quickly sat back against the ledge attempting to gain some more space between you two.

The action made him chuckle dryly as he looked you up and down.

“You’re still going to act like a fucking brat huh? After the show you just put on?” Bakugou spoke lowly, his eyes drinking in the sight of your costume only swirling more pent up feelings within him, “Someone’s feeling spunky today?”

You bit at the corner of your lip, swallowing what left of saliva was in your dry mouth as you tried terribly to avoid eye contact.

“Hiding such a naughty job from me, and then when I catch you red handed this is the treatment I get?” Bakugou hisses with clenched fists, “You should’ve been at my fucking heel all day for keeping such a delicious lie from me and yet you taunt me like you’re the one in charge?”

His harsh words made heat rise to your cheeks as you looked down at your frilly dress, trying to find anything to look at besides his face. Surely you knew that wasn’t going to pass with him.

“Look at me when I fucking speak to you brat.” Bakugou growled, his eyes narrowing when he saw your lips pinch together stubbornly.

Letting out an annoyed sigh he grabbed your wrist roughly before shoving you back against the thin wall and grabbing your jaw harshly shoving it against the wall with a hard knock, forcing your eyes to meet.

The sight of your cheeks being squished together by his large palms and your wide glassy eyes forced to look into his own, he couldn’t hide his smug smirk as he felt you lightly tremor beneath him.

“Much better doll.” Bakugou cooed, voice laced with sarcasm as you both knew the next chain of events were about to get quite violent.

“Now, I was planning on patiently waiting for you to get off so we could take this conversation in private...” Bakugou spoke, eyes narrowing down to yours as he let out a sinister laugh, “Hell I even bought you a treat, I’m such a generous fucking boyfriend aren’t I?”

Your breathing was ragged as you stared up into his crimson eyes, your brain was so fogged by the situation that you hadn’t even realized what he asked until his grip on your jaw tightened.

“I asked you a fucking question.”

Blinking back to reality you nodded deserpatly, not daring to look away from his gaze as you let out a slight whimper that shot directly to his pants.

“Good.” Bakugou said with a dark smile before continuing on, “But now I cannot go along with that generous plan because you can’t go two seconds without acting like a fucking slut.”

The filthy words spewing from his lips caused your face to grow warm, the entire situation already had your silk underwear drenched, but his words alone caused you to brush your plump thighs together desperately.

Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by the ash blond as he roughly shoved a knee between your legs causing a whine to escape your lips when he refused to put any friction on your aching core.

“Even now you can’t help but act like a brainless bitch in heat.” Bakugou sneered with a grin, his hand on your jaw lowering to now grip on your neck gently so not to cut off any air.

“Because you’ve disobeyed me multiple times today, I’m going to have to set you straight right here in public so you know who truly has the power here.”

Your mouth opened to rebuttal as your eyes widened at his idea, but his hand only gripped tighter around your throat causing the words shove back down your throat.

“And then,” Bakugou hissed, “If you perform like a good little maid, I may give you what you want when we get home. Maybe.”

You let out a shaky breath as he narrowed his eyes down to you, trying to read what you were feeling right now.

“Now you’re going to be my good little slutty maid and serve me until I’m satisfied, you fucking got that?”

As Bakugou’s grip on your neck loosened, your posture relaxed a bit as you nodded to his question, only for the grip to return as he growled down to you.

“Try again.”

Biting your lip your thighs attempted to squeeze against his knee for any sort of friction at all as any conscious thought was clouded with ashamed lust for the man before you.

“Y..Yes master.”

[omnivoroussmut]

Calm

Summary: Sometimes, Deckard gets overwhelmed and needs a simple task to focus on

Tags: cockwarming, dom/sub, bondage, ring gag, collars, sub space, hand job, praise kink, aftercare

Rating: 18+

It took all of Deckard’s strength not to scream and throw something as he paced up and down Luke’s living room. A current of anxious energy was running through him as his eyes glanced around at everything in the house. From the kitchen, the hallway to the bedrooms, and every item in the living room. His mind was screaming at him that something was wrong.

           But he knew there wasn’t anything wrong. Nothing.

           He had searched up and down, through every nook and cranny, but had found nothing out of the ordinary. He swore there had to be hidden weapons, traps, cameras, anything that was trying to harm his family. There had to be.

           Or maybe he had forgotten to clean something. That was possible as well. Maybe all of his anxiety was because he wasn’t fulfilling his duties. Almost skidding to a stop, Deckard turned on his heel sharply and marched into the kitchen. He had already vacuumed the living room, organized his closet and Luke’s twice, so there had to be something he hadn’t done in this room.

           Throwing open the cabinets, Deckard hissed in frustration as he saw the unorganized mess of the tupperware. How could he have missed this?

           So focused on his task, he didn’t notice the way he slammed the containers onto the counter and causing quite the commotion. Instead, he tried control the shaking in his hands as he tried to speed up the process. He needed to get this done, or else.

           Or else what, he wasn’t sure, but he knew he had to be doing something or there would be consequences.

           Jaw clenched harshly, Deckard didn’t notice how hard he was grinding his teeth until a heavy hand grabbed the back of his neck and made him gasp.

           He went absolutely still as the large hand tightened on his neck. The hand sent several sensations through him: warmth that spread through him and relaxed his muscles marginally, excitement at what was going to come next, and finally, trepidation at how Luke was going to handle the situation. After all, this was their chosen signal of starting a scene.

           “What are you doing, princess?” Luke asked lowly, voice not given off any emotion other than patience. Deckard shivered at that voice and the nickname, knowing who was now in a position of power.

           “I’m trying to clean.” He mumbled, hands frozen over several containers.

           “Sounds like you’re trying to cause trouble, more like.”

           “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

           “Hmm.” Luke hummed and dug his fingers into Deckard’s skin. The smaller man couldn’t hold back a whimper. He felt like a misbehaving kitten being picked up by its scruff. “Why are you cleaning? You did that earlier. I told you to go relax.”

           Deckard held back a shiver. While they hadn’t been playing at the moment when Luke had told him that, it still felt as if he had disobeyed an order from Luke. He hated disobeying, not only because Luke got creative with his punishments, but he hated feeling as if he had let his partner down. He needed to be good for him at all costs.

           “I couldn’t.” Deckard said weakly, desperately wishing Luke would let him turn around and explain properly.

           “Why not?”

           “I-” Deckard didn’t know how to describe the feeling of anxiety sitting right below his skin and screaming at him to do something. The hand on the back of his neck loosened slightly as Luke messaged his skin.

           “What?” He asked softly. “Use your words, princess.”

           “I- I needed to do something.” Deckard stuttered. “Anything to keep me occupied.”

           He silently begged Luke wouldn’t ask anything further. He wasn’t sure he could explain it better because he knew he would come unraveled if he did. And Deckard did not want to deal with that. Not today. Not anytime soon.

           After several long moments that felt like eternity to Deckard, Luke finally spoke up.

           “If you can’t find a quiet way to occupy yourself, then I’ll find something for you.”

           With that, Luke’s hand disappeared and Deckard breathed in deeply, gulping down air as if he just ran a marathon. It was a wonder his legs hadn’t given out.

           “Grab a cushion and come to my office.” Luke told him, already walking away. Watching him go, a spike of arousal rose through Deckard. If they were playing in Luke’s office, then he meant to go full dominant and would do something deliciously controlling to put Deckard in his place.

           Deckard felt himself growing hard as he grabbed a cushion from the couch and nearly raced towards Luke’s office.

           Pausing in the doorway, Deckard waited for permission to enter. Luke was already standing by his desk with a leather collar in his hands. Just seeing the collar had Deckard fully hard as he entered.

           Silently, Luke met his eyes before stepping forward to clasp the collar around his throat. Barring his neck, Deckard let out a small whine as the cool leather slipped around his heated skin and he could feel his shoulders drop. Already he could feel his anxiety falling away and leaving him calmer.

           Smiling slightly, Deckard glanced over to the other leather items on Luke’s desk and wasn’t surprised to see the cuffs they normally used. But he was curious to see the ring gag that sat next to them.

           “Open.”

           Obediently, Deckard met Luke’s eyes again and dropped his mouth open. The gag’s cold metal slipped into his mouth and forced his jaw open even wider. As Luke fastened the buckle behind his head, Deckard knew he would be feeling the pleasant ache in his jaw from having it open for a long time.

           “Come over here.” Luke ordered as he took the cushion from Deckard and placed it under his desk. Luckily, it was large enough for the smaller man to kneel under it comfortably, and Deckard always had to wonder if Luke had it special made just for this purpose. “Kneel.”

           Dropping to his knees immediately, Deckard felt a flash of confusion as he faced towards the desk. But, he didn’t have to wonder for long as he felt smooth leather encase each of his wrists. Before he could test the limits of the cuffs, more restraints wrapped around his ankles and forced Deckard to sit up straighter.

           Pulling gently, Deckard’s eyes widened.

           The cuffs around his wrists were hooked to the ones around his ankles, leaving him hogtied. An image of him fully hogtied with thick ropes flashed through his mind and a moan escaped him.

           “Stop that.” Luke snapped. “We’re doing this so you don’t make any noise.”

           Deckard nodded but knew he would keep making noise, especially since he wasn’t gagged properly.

           “Now slowly turn around.” Luke commanded and helped guide Deckard into the position he wanted him in.

           It took a minute of adjusting, but finally, Deckard was kneeling under Luke’s desk with his wrists tied to his ankles. He could feel drool already dripping down his chin as the gag forced his mouth open. Looking up, Deckard waited patiently for Luke’s next instructions.

           However, Luke simply looked at him passively as he sat down in his chair and unzipped himself. Even seeing Luke flaccid made Deckard’s mouth water: the man was huge, even when he wasn’t hard. Excited, Deckard extended his head forward, trying to invite Luke to put his cock in his mouth.

           “Here’s how this is going to go, princess.” Luke said firmly, his eyes hard and warning Deckard not to misbehave. “You’re going to stay there with my dick in your mouth. But if you try to make me hard, I’m going to punish you. Simply stay and be a good cockwarmer.”

           Deckard blinked.

           Luke could probably see the silent question in his eyes as he explained further.

           “You wanted something to do, princess. But, I’m busy and can’t play with you right now, so you can sit here and put your mouth to use.” Luke narrowed his eyes. “And if you do anything other than hold me in your mouth, I’m going to tie you to a chair and force you to watch the latest American football game. And you’ll have to tell me the score every half hour.”

           Deckard shivered with dread. That was by far the worst punishment Luke could threaten him with. He found sports absolutely dull and Luke knew it perfectly well. Since Deckard could withstand any kind of physical punishment, Luke had gotten creative and would force him to do things he hated. Like watching sports and having to pay attention.

           So far, Deckard had only gone through that punishment twice and he never planned on experiencing it a third time.

           Instead, he nodded as Luke demanded if he understood the terms of the scene.

           “Good.” Luke nodded. “If you need a break or anything else, just pull off and nudge me.”

           Nodding again, Deckard tilted his head to accept Luke’s cock.

           It felt almost strange to feel Luke soft and much smaller. But even being flaccid, he was an impressive size as he slipped in fully and brushed the back of Deckard’s throat. Luke kept going until he was all the way in and Deckard’s nose was shoved into his naval, pubic hair tickling him and Luke’s balls resting on his chin.

           Imagining what kind of sight he made, Deckard’s hips thrusted forward and he couldn’t help but swallow around the cock in his mouth.

           “Deck.” Luke growled warningly.

           Stilling, Deckard glanced up and shrunk back slightly at the disapproving look Luke was sending him over his tablet. Nodding as much as he could with his mouth so full, Deckard tried to focus on his task.

           It was frustrating having Luke in his mouth but not allowed to do anything. Deckard enjoyed sucking cock, feeling full and having control over his partner’s pleasure. But now, Luke had taken that control away from Deckard once again.

           Sitting there, Deckard tried to look around, find anything else to focus on, but Luke had already thought ahead of him. With his position, Deckard could only see the sides of the desk in his peripheral and Luke’s body in front of him.

           Luke truly gave him one task to focus on without any other distractions.

           Deckard wasn’t sure if he would enjoy this or not. But, as he was still hard as a rock at knowing Luke put him in this position and it was only up to him when they were done, Deckard knew he would ultimately enjoy this.

           Trying to relax his jaw and ignore the drool still dripping down his chin, Deckard felt himself slipping into a sense of calm.

           Here, kneeling under Luke’s desk, Deckard knew he was safe. The outside world couldn’t see him or get to him. He knew the other man would protect him from anything when he was so vulnerable. Closing his eyes, Deckard’s world narrowed down on the feeling of warm leather on his skin and the heavy cock that sat on his tongue.

           Breathing in deeply, Deckard’s body relaxed as Luke’s musk filled his senses. The only thing that mattered in that moment was obeying Luke and following his command of sitting still. Slowly, every anxious thought that had been plaguing him the last few hours fell away from him and left his mind blank.

           Deckard had no idea how long he stayed like that, face firmly shoved into Luke’s crotch and simply keeping his cock in his mouth. Like this, everything was simple. He only needed to do what Luke told him because he knew what was best for Deckard. Luke knew how to take care of him and keep him safe.

           The only thing he could hear was the gentle tapping of Luke’s fingers on his tablet. Focusing on the sound, Deckard could feel himself slipping into the warm, comfortable state. It almost felt as if he was meditating, but much more welcoming because he knew none of his worries enter his mind when he was like this.

           So focused on the sensations Luke was giving to him, Deckard gasped sharply when fingers softly stroked the back of his neck, gently playing with the thick collar.

           Slowly, Deckard could feel himself coming back to himself. His jaw ached harshly from how long it had been forced open and his shoulders were twinging at having his arms tied behind his back. He tried looking up, but from his angle, he couldn’t see Luke’s face without pulling back and he hadn’t gotten permission yet.

           “You’ve done so well, princess.” Luke whispered, affection strong in his voice.

           A soft keen escaped Deckard’s throat at the praise and his already painfully hard cock twitched.

           “Come here.”

           A large hand cupped underneath Deckard’s chin as Luke slowly pulled his cock out of his mouth. A long string of saliva followed his cock before Luke wiped himself of the excess amount coating him. He didn’t bother cleaning Deckard’s face.

           Deckard stared longingly as Luke tucked himself back into his pants. He didn’t even get to give him a blowjob?

           Instead, Luke reached around to release the restraints keeping his wrists and ankles together. The ankle cuffs were taken off, but the handcuffs stayed on as Luke gently pulled Deckard out from under the desk. His legs refused to work, but Luke didn’t seem worried as he easily hauled Deckard onto his lap.

           Panting softly, Deckard moaned as his cock rubbed against his own pants and tears of frustration pricked at the corners of his eyes. He needed to cum so badly.

           “Shh, it’s ok, princess. You did so good for me today, I knew you could.” Luke murmured in his ear. He reached down and easily slipped his hand into Deckard’s pants and grasped his cock.

           “Nnngh!” Deckard whimpered and threw his head back. He was far too sensitive as Luke leisurely pumped him.

           “You stayed like that for a whole hour. I’m so proud of you, baby.”

           An hour? It hadn’t felt that long to Deckard.

           Luke sped up his pace, leaving Deckard a moaning mess as he weakly struggled in Luke’s lap, not knowing if he wanted to get away or closer to the overwhelming pleasure Luke was giving him.

           “Cum for me, princess. You’ve earned this.”

           Luke twisted his hand sharply and Deckard was sent over the edge. Tears of pleasure ran down his face as his back bowed and he screamed. Waves of pleasure crashed into him over and over as Luke kept pumping him dry. Soon, it became too much and Deckard’s sight grew black around the edges before the pleasure started to stop coming so rapidly. Slowly, he came down from his high and could feel the gentle rubbing up and down his thighs.

           “There we go, princess.” Luke chuckled.

           Moaning, Deckard dropped his head on Luke’s shoulder. He was exhausted.

           “Let’s get you cleaned up. Hopefully you won’t be so keyed up after a nap.”

           Deckard could feel himself being lifted into Luke’s arms, but couldn’t care less where they were going. As long as Luke was there, he would be happy.