#because THEY believe that the only thing that makes you a good person

[summertimesadnessirl]

No.

It's just...

There is only a tiny chance anyone will ever care that this happened and do something about it.

It can only happen if I literally die from it and then someone goes through my phone and stuff on social media to see what happened and believes it.

It was more likely before my old tumblr got deleted.

Because I had more documentation on there.

Of specific incidents as they happened like the time there was that guy outside in the middle of the night by my garbage cans when I went out to take it out smoking and saying creepy things.

But if I don't die there is absolutely no chance at all that anyone will get charged with a crime for what they did to me.

It will just be something I have to clean up.

It will require me to lie to a bunch of people and claim that it was for the best because it taught me an important lesson and led me to new opportunities, also.

I hate that shit. That's the most degrading thing about being poor. You have to tell everyone how romantic it is and how it's making you a better person. You have to beg rich people not to punish you for being unlucky.

See how grateful I am for being fucked over look I will be such a good employee I swear.

I got sexually assaulted, lied to, set up, and someone spent 4 years stalking and retraumatizing me and ruining a business I took 10 years to build and that I got lucky enough to have my dream job in and get out of debt and like... 8 tenths of the way to my dream life and they're making fun of me and telling me it's my fault. They made a fake pop star to make fun of me who is getting rich for stealing my style and my image and my life and claiming it's somehow "karma" even though I didn't steal anyone's shit. The closest I came was doing porn commentary?

And the most likely outcome when I die will be that no one cares, the police think I somehow have undiagnosed schizophrenia or had a psychotic episode, but at least I won't have to tell everyone how it's for the best and it made me a stronger better person while I beg them for another shitty low paying abusive job.

At least I can have that.

The only way to get that is to die. The only way to have any dignity or hope is to die. My only hope is that someone understands what happened and fixes it. Like on a systemic level. I know justice barely exists in the world we live in. But maybe somewhere out there, there is someone who would care enough to solve my murder.

But I tried reporting it and I tried telling people and they just tell me how crazy I am and how I should just quit and go back to being miserable and let them steal my life and get away with it.

If they want my life, the price is they have to murder me fair and square. There can be only one Eva Rinaldi.

[forcaleb]

a dose of love and laughter — caleb

warnings — fluff, sick!reader, caleb taking care of you, angst (like really small part)

notes — a 360 from my previous fic im crying LMFAO \\ tags: @aomiiine

caleb loves doting on you.

no matter how many times you tell him you’re a grown woman who can take care of herself, caleb always finds a way to step in and handle things for you.

“caleb, i promise i can take care of myself while you’re at work,” you say, letting out a small cough. his hoodie keeps you warm against the cool breeze of the air conditioner. you came down with a cold last night, and caleb has been insistent on taking the day off just to look after you. “i don’t want you missing work because of me.”

“but princess…” caleb sighs. “i’m worried you’ll get worse if i’m not here. what will you do if your fever spikes, hm?” he gently brushes your hair back, his touch soft. “let me stay, okay? let me take care of you, just like i always did when we were kids.”

you can’t argue with that. having someone look after you, especially caleb, is comforting. he’s always been good at taking care of you when you’re sick.

his pleading gaze makes you give in. “okay, fine. but if any of your underlings blame me for their colonel being absent, i’m kicking your ass.”

“don’t worry, princess,” caleb chuckles. in one swift motion, he lifts you into a bridal carry, making you squeal in surprise. he sets you down gently on the couch and tucks a warm blanket around you. “you stay here, okay? i’ll go make some porridge.”

you nod and settle into the couch, your favorite tv show playing softly in the background. as much as you hate to admit it, having caleb take care of you brings back warm memories from your childhood. and his porridge is as delicious as you remember.

as you’re about to doze off, you hear caleb’s footsteps approaching. you squint, catching a glimpse of him.

“sleepy already, pipsqueak?” he says softly, setting a bowl of porridge on the table. “want to eat now?”

“only if you feed me,” you declare. caleb laughs, and you hide your smile under the blanket, trying to keep a stern look.

“okay, okay,” caleb agrees, amused. “what would you do without me?” he helps you sit up gently, leaning you against the cushions. taking a spoonful of porridge, he holds it up for you. you open your mouth and savor the warm flavor. “good?”

“mhm,” you hum, swallowing before giving him a smile. “it’s really good. just like i remember.”

“you remember?” caleb asks, sounding surprised.

“yeah, of course i do!” you exclaim, almost choking on the porridge in your excitement. caleb quickly hands you a cup of water. after taking a sip, you continue, “i tried recreating it when you were gone, but i could never get it right.”

caleb’s expression softens, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “really?” he glances down at the porridge, avoiding your gaze. “maybe i should make a recipe book for you. that way, you can make all of caleb’s specialties anytime.”

“hey,” you say gently, placing your hand under his chin to lift his face. “what’s wrong? why do you look so sad?”

he leans into your touch. “just… thinking about you being sick all alone, with no one to take care of you.”

you giggle softly. “why are you upset over that? you know i’m good at taking care of myself.”

“yeah?” caleb asks, a teasing glint in his eyes. “so, you don’t want me to feed you right now?”

“wha-” you quickly grab his hand, stopping him from leaving. “of course i want you to feed me! i’m sick, caleb! i can’t believe you’re joking with a sick person right now,” you say, feigning indignation to lighten the mood.

it works. caleb’s laughter is so genuine that it nearly brings tears to your eyes. you’ve missed his laugh, his smile — everything about him. even though it’s been weeks since you reunited, you still haven’t gotten over how much you missed him.

“you’re contradicting yourself, pipsqueak,” caleb teases. “so, can you take care of yourself or not?”

“hmm,” you pause, pretending to think. “i can take care of myself. but when you’re here, i’d rather have you take care of me.”

caleb blinks, then bursts into laughter again. “why are you laughing? i’m serious!” you protest.

“i know, i know,” he says, wiping a stray tear of laughter from his eye. he gently pats your head. “i’ll take care of you. i promise.”

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Tips: An Unforgettable Villain

A villain is the antagonist of your story whose motivations and actions oppose the protagonist and drive the plot of your story.

A villain is the opposite of a hero. In contrast to the hero, a villain is usually compelled by a desire to commit acts of cruelty and immorality.

Bestselling author Dan Brown advocates for writing your villain first—even before your hero—because it is the villain who will make the hero heroic.

Tips for Writing a Great Villain in Your Novel

Choose a real-life model. Find a real person to model your villain after. It could be someone you know, a person from history, or a famous serial killer. Try writing a brief character sketch in which you list their positive and negative attributes, their physical appearance, and their state of mind. Once you’ve done some brainstorming, be sure to differentiate your fictional character from your real-life model (you don’t want to get sued!). You can do this by changing identifiable elements like name, age, and specific actions or events.

Put yourself in their shoes. When it’s time for your villain to act, put yourself in their place. Think about challenges or hardships that might tempt people to act out or behave badly. How do you react to bad things? Tap into those emotions and try to apply them to your villain.

Consider their motivation. Just like with your main character, determining your antagonist’s motivation can help you unlock other aspects of their character, such as their goals and their personality.

Introduce a villain with a bang. A strong introduction to your villain sends your reader a clear message that this character is malicious. In Charles Dickens’ David Copperfield features an unforgettable introduction to antagonist Uriah Heep, whose seeming politeness is overshadowed by a face so shocking and ugly that it is described as “cadaverous.” His introduction immediately establishes the character as a villain.

Characteristics of a Good Villain

Every great hero needs a great villain. Villains are the antagonistic force of your story that challenges your hero and drives the action. Most great villains share a common set of characteristics.

Strong connection to the hero. The best villains are inextricably connected to the hero, and aid in the hero’s character development through their inherent opposition to them.

Clear morality. Every villain needs to have his own morality. If a villain spends part your story killing people, you need to give him or her believable reasons for doing so. Make the reader understand exactly what desperation or belief has driven him to it. For instance, in Ray Bradbury’s dystopian novel Fahrenheit 451, primary antagonist Captain Beatty’s mission is to find and destroy books because he believes that books cause people to reject the stability and tranquility of a life of conformity. He has a strong moral point of view, and the reader believes that he believes he is doing the right thing by trying to burn books. After all, every villain believes they are the hero of their own story.

A worthy opponent. A great villain should be a strong and worthy adversary to your hero. They shouldn’t be weak and easily beaten, nor should they be so powerful that they can only be defeated by random chance. In Sherlock Holmes, his arch-nemesis Moriarty is a criminal mastermind who is every bit as smart as Sherlock. Having a villain who is in many ways equal in skill and intelligence to your hero will raise the stakes of their encounters, as it creates a credible threat that your hero might be bested.

Compelling backstory. Any good villain should have an interesting and credible backstory. In addition to creating a deep and more three-dimensional villain, a memorable backstory allows ourselves to identify and even sympathize with the villain. For example, the Gollum character in The Lord of The Rings trilogy used to be a normal hobbit until he was corrupted by the power of the One Ring. In addition to deepening the character by showing us the full breadth of his journey from virtuousness to wickedness, Gollum’s backstory forces us to consider how we are sometimes tempted by bad or unethical forces in our own lives.

Villains should be fun. Let’s face it: evil villains are fun. In Thomas Harris’ Silence of the Lambs, readers hold their breath whenever Hannibal Lecter appears on the page. Whether it’s their black-hearted sense of humor or their odious worldview, our favorite villains possess qualities that we love to hate.

Source ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs ⚜ Villains

[fandoms-x-reader]

Code 10-65 (MC M.I.A.)

Requested Anonymously

Summary: The brothers get into a fight / heated exchange with MC, and MC ends up going missing / getting injured. The Seven Demon Brothers x Reader Word Count: 9,648 TW: Mentions of blood / kidnapping

Lucifer was someone who always had an appearance to uphold in front of the other denizens of the Devildom.

His status was something that you admired about him. Lucifer did a good job of helping Diavolo run things in the Devildom and you couldn’t imagine a demon who was more perfectly suited for the job.

But, you had to admit that the facade he put up in front of others could be annoying at times.

You knew that it was part of his sin - he always had to put his best foot forward and present himself in the most perfect way possible.

But, you wished others got to see the real side of Lucifer. The side of him that he mainly reserved for your eyes alone.

You didn’t mind that Lucifer only dropped his guard around you, but it would be nice to be able to have some intimate moments in public without Lucifer worrying about the opinions of others.

And this infatuation that was caused by his pride was also the very thing that caused the two of you to get into an argument.

You were at RAD in the middle of the class that Lucifer was teaching when he mentioned a cave nearby in the Devildom that had some of the most unique magical items in the entire realm.

You were just trying to be proactive in the class so you expressed your interest in wanting to see the cave for yourself.

But, your excited smile faltered when you heard a few of your classmates snicker at your statement before telling you that you wouldn’t stand a chance at surviving because you were just a weak human.

You were offended by their words. After all, you might be a human, but you were far from weak. You managed to get the seven demon brothers to agree to pacts with you and your magic was far more powerful than those students could even imagine.

You could see the glare in Lucifer’s eyes towards the students and you were grateful that he was there. At least you knew one person had your back.

Seeing you mistreated was something that Lucifer would never tolerate, so the glare that he was sending them, while much more dangerous looking, was a mere warning to tell them to stop talking.

The students seemed to notice the way that Lucifer was looking at them so they quickly stopped laughing, but then one of the students turned the cards against Lucifer.

They asked for his honest opinion on if he thought that you - a human - could make it through the cave.

And now Lucifer was in a tough spot, because he wanted to defend you with his life, but the cave was not something that should be taken lightly.

He truly believed that a human wouldn’t survive the cave and if he said that he believed you could - then his credibility would be tainted and his pride couldn’t have that.

You waited patiently for Lucifer to defend you and you couldn’t help but feel a small pang of betrayal as Lucifer agreed with the students.

All he had to do was tell them that he believed in you - that you could do it if you put your mind to it. Why couldn’t he do that?

The students once again snickered and Lucifer avoided making eye contact with you for the rest of the class, knowing that he was going to pay for that mistake later.

You left the class as soon as the bell rang and Lucifer didn’t blame you. He knew that you were mad at him and that you wouldn’t want him escorting you back to the House of Lamentation today.

But, you weren’t going back to the House of Lamentation yet.

Ever since you got to the Devildom, people have been doubting your abilities. They had been treating you like a child who couldn’t do anything on their own and you were tired of it.

For once, you just wanted to prove them wrong - to prove to them that you were as strong and brave as you believed yourself to be.

So, you went to the cave on your own. Lucifer had shown everyone where it was on the map so you knew exactly how to get there.

And if things got bad, you would just summon one of the demon brothers. Just not Lucifer. You could only imagine the proud smirk he would wear if you had to call on him for help and admit he was right.

The cave itself was pretty simple to get through and there were wonderful treasures surrounding you. Cursed items and grimoires that you would have never dreamed of existing. 

All you had to do was grab one and bring it back with you and then everyone would know you were able to conquer the cave with no trouble.

You decided to choose the least conspicuous item, something small that didn’t radiate too much magic.

But something unique enough that people would be impressed with your feat.

You smiled softly at the item before putting it in your bag. Time to leave.

Suddenly the entire cave shook and you nervously looked around as a creature started appearing in front of you.

Lucifer never told you anything about the guardian of the cave - a creature that only appears if someone tries to steal the magical artifacts.

You didn’t even have time to think of a move before the creature attacked you, sending you into its eternal prison for your crime.

Lucifer got back to the House of Lamentation relatively late compared to when he usually arrived.

He wanted to give you ample time to cool down so that the two of you could have a proper conversation.

When he entered the building, Asmo was the first one Lucifer encountered.

“Lucifer! Is Y/N with you? I want to go shopping with them,” Asmo said with a smile and those words caused Lucifer to pause.

“They aren’t here?” Lucifer asked his younger brother. Asmo shook his head no before replying, “We all got here a while ago - we thought they were with you.”

Lucifer’s eyes were wide but everything about his demeanor remained calm on the outside.

On the inside, he was panicking as the realization of where you went dawned on him.

Lucifer was gone in a flash without even telling Asmo where he was going. He was silently cursing himself as he made his way to the cave, hoping that he would find you there and that you would be okay.

When he got there he searched every inch of the cave and when he didn’t find you his heart began to race.

For once, the calm and cool Avatar of Pride was beginning to panic at the thought of losing the love of his life.

He noticed some of the artifacts moved from their original position and that’s when he realized what must have happened.

He immediately summoned the guardian of the cave and demanded it release you. It was as simple as that.

After all, everyone is scared of making Lucifer angry - that was one thing his status in the Devildom was good for.

You were pulled out of the eternal prison and placed on the ground in front of Lucifer. You were asleep because of the magic and Lucifer’s heart broke at the sight of you.

He carefully picked you up and carried you back to the House of Lamentation where he laid you in his bed and took care of you until you woke up.

As he watched you sleep, he couldn’t help but blame himself. If he had just defended you like he knew he should have, then you would have never gone off on your own.

When you finally started to stir awake, Lucifer gently stroked your cheek with a loving yet pained smile. He hated seeing you like this.

“You’re awake,” he stated, relief washing over his features. You nodded your head as you began to recount the previous events and you felt deeply embarrassed. You couldn’t believe you had been so reckless.

You locked eyes with Lucifer expecting him to say I-told-you-so or to have a proud look in his eyes, but all you found was worry.

Lucifer couldn't care less about being right about the cave. All that mattered was that he had gotten you back safely.

“I’m sorry,” you tried to say, but he shook his head no in response. “I should have defended you against those students. I let my pride and reputation cloud my judgment and I nearly lost you because of it. I’m sorry,” he replied, his red eyes shining with more sincerity than you had ever seen them hold.

You carefully sat up and Lucifer helped you, making sure you were okay. When you were finally sitting upright, you pulled Lucifer into a hug and he gladly reciprocated it.

“Thank you for saving me,” you told him, barely above a whisper and his worries were washed away with your words, replaced with love and admiration as he pulled you closer.

From this moment forward, Lucifer would make sure that his pride never got in the way of your relationship and he would make sure that everyone at RAD knew that you were his and they were not allowed to mess with you.

Mammon wasn’t even sure why the two of you were fighting.

He had come home from an extremely late night at the casino in pretty bad shape.

He bet a bunch of money that he didn’t have, thinking he would win so it wouldn’t matter. But, then he lost.

And they expected him to pay up. But, he didn’t have any money so they took to roughing him up instead.

You had stayed up the entire night waiting for him, worried out of your mind. You were just praying that he would come home.

And when you saw the state he was in, you couldn’t help but scold him as you tended to his wounds. It was all coming from a place of love, and he knew it.

But, he was so used to having to defend himself against Lucifer.

He didn’t even realize he was being defensive until after the fight.

A simple argument that was meant to express your concern for Mammon turned into a heated exchange of words between the two of you and Mammon went too far.

He knew he went too far as soon as the words left his lips and he saw the look of hurt on your face.

But, he didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t know how to take it back and he didn’t know what the right words to say were as he watched you storm out of his room.

He sat in his room in silence for an hour, thinking that you just needed some time to cool off. He figured you probably went to your room just to get some space from him.

The hour he spent by himself, he was going crazy.

Every inch of his body craved for him to go to your bedroom door and apologize.

He just wanted to hold you in his arms and tell you how sorry he was; but, his fear of you slamming the door in his face is what made him wait.

When he finally mustered up the courage to apologize, he knocked on the door quietly a few times but there was no answer.

He let out a sigh as he thought you wouldn’t even open the door. But, Mammon was stubborn and when you refused to open the door after a few more knocks, he invited himself in.

He let out a small gasp as he took in your bedroom. The lights were off, the bed was still made, and not a single item was out of place.

You weren’t there - you hadn’t been there all night. And now Mammon was panicking, because if you weren’t there then he had no idea where you went.

He rushed throughout the house asking if any of his brothers had seen you, even going so far as to wake some of them up.

Satan and Asmo were the most mad about that but when he explained that he couldn’t find you, they were all on board with searching for you.

After the fight, you decided you needed some air. You knew that you shouldn’t have scolded Mammon like Lucifer would have, but you couldn’t help it.

You were so worried and when he came home injured, it sent you over the edge. You loved Mammon so much and you were worried about what would happen if he wasn’t able to escape from someone he owed money to.

You were just trying to express that concern, but you knew that he wouldn’t take you badgering him as soon as he got home well.

You had only meant to step out for a moment to collect your thoughts. You were only going to take a quick walk around the block.

But, you weren’t expecting the demons that were lying in wait for a chance when one of the demon brothers wasn't with you.

It had taken three days for the demon brothers to get any kind of lead for you and Mammon hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep the entire time.

He just kept thinking about how he would promise he would never go to the casino again. Hell, he would promise anything you wanted if you were alright and they could find you.

When his brothers told him of the possible location, he was there before they could finish talking.

He had never felt so grateful to be the fastest in his life as he approached the location.

His heart stopped beating when he saw you on the ground there. He held his breath as he hoped that you were alive with everything he had.

When he approached you, he saw that you were injured but alive.

He let out a huge breath of relief as he gently scooped you into his arms and the way you weakly said his name broke his heart.

“I’m gonna get ya’ out of here,” he promised as he felt you fall asleep. 

He quickly took you back to the House of Lamentation where everyone quickly tended to your wounds.

They left him alone as he waited for you to wake up and as you lay on the bed in front of him, he just kept whispering, “I’m sorry.”

When you finally did wake up, you saw Mammon sitting next to you, holding your hands. He had deep circles under his eyes and his eyes looked bloodshot.

“Hey,” you said quietly and Mammon let out a small laugh in disbelief.

“Hi,” he replied, as he placed a couple of kisses on the knuckles of your hand that he was holding.

You noticed the tears that rushed down his cheeks as the relief of you being awake set in and you wanted nothing more to comfort him.

You gently pulled him into the bed with you and he looked down in shame as you carefully wiped his tears.

“I’m okay,” you reassured him causing him to finally look into your eyes.

“Ya’ almost weren’t,” he replied and you let out a small sigh. You couldn’t argue with him there.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and you shook your head no. “We both said things that night,” you replied.

“But I shouldn’t have been at that casino anyway,” he stated and there was a moment of silence before he added, “I promise I won’t ever go again if you promise not to leave me.”

You let out a small chuckle at his words before telling him, “I promise I won’t leave you, Mammon. And you can still go to the casino. Just, maybe when you have more money and not all night.”

He nodded his head, agreeing, as he pulled you into his arms and rested his head on top of yours.

He wished he had done this that night instead of fighting with you. But he was glad that he got the chance to do it again.

Because you meant everything to him and having you in his arms was everything he ever needed.

It was amazing how riled up Levi could get when it came to a game or anime that Levi adored.

His brothers knew how to push the Avatar of Envy’s buttons and Mammon was especially the worst when it came to messing with Levi. 

Whenever Mammon was bored, Levi was usually the one who Mammon targeted for some entertainment.

And unfortunately, the second-born had decided to drag you into his scheme this time.

You weren’t even sure what was really happening at first. All you knew was that Mammon had approached you, wearing a devilish smile, and asked you to go to Levi’s room with him.

One thing led to another and before you knew it, Mammon was bragging about your gaming skills and he was telling Levi that he could never beat you in a game because you were just that much better than him.

You could see the fire burning behind Levi’s eyes at every word Mammon spoke, and before you knew it, he was fuming.

The two of them started exchanging heated words towards each other and you could see Levi’s sin starting to come into play.

Mammon had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he did everything he could to push his brother over the edge just to see what would happen. Troublemaker.

The next thing you knew, Levi was setting up a game and challenging you to a match against him.

You weren’t sure how it got to this point, but you were too far in thanks to your first demon that you couldn’t back out.

And Levi’s sin clouded his judgment when he chose the game for the two of you to play.

He wanted to prove to the two of you that it took more skills than pushing buttons on a controller to be the best at video games like Mammon claimed you were.

So, he chose to play the new game that he had just ordered from Akuzon - a real life survivor horror game.

Before you could protest his decision, the game had started up and three of you were transported to a world beyond the reality you knew.

You knew nothing about the game and you were starting to panic a bit now as you realized Mammon had gotten you in way over your head this time.

But neither of them seemed to notice your discomfort, still snarling at each other and arguing.

And now you were starting to get annoyed because if this was anything like Levi’s other games, there was a possibility that you could actually die in this world.

And you were going in blind, with no expectations of what was after you or how to beat it.

And as these thoughts piled up more and more, you got more and more frustrated at the sound of the two demon brothers arguing.

You finally snapped at them after another moment to try and get them to realize the gravity of the situation you were now in.

But, blinded by his jealousy and anger, Levi began arguing with you this time and with your current frustrations, you couldn’t help but fight back.

Levi had a sharp tongue as his words bit into you unnecessarily. You weren’t even the one who started this fight in the first place. You were just a bystander.

But before you could respond to his insults - and before he could apologize for them - all of the lights went out around the three of you and anger was replaced by fear.

You could hear something moving around you, but you couldn’t quite make out what it was.

You let out a muffled scream as you felt something grab you from behind, covering your mouth with one hand and using its other arm to drag you away.

You could hear the two demon brothers calling out for you, but you knew it was too late.

 The lights came back on as soon as you were taken away and now Levi and Mammon were looking at each other with wide eyes that were full of panic as they processed what just happened.

“We have to find them,” Levi stated. “Don’t ya' think I know that,” Mammon replied.

“We’ll have to split up or we won’t get to them in time,” Levi responded.

Mammon hated the idea but agreed. Your safety was on the line and he was going to do whatever he could to help you get out of this situation.

They went their separate ways and Levi’s heart was pounding with anxiety. He was confident in his skills in these kinds of games - that’s why he bought them.

But, he never had such a big risk factored into the game. He was a demon who could most likely handle anything the game would throw at him.

But, you were just a human. He wasn’t sure how long you could last in this game and your safety banked entirely on his skills at completing the game quickly.

He wanted to focus solely on getting you back, but his self-deprecating thoughts always had a way of clouding his mind as he began blaming himself for putting you in this situation in the first place.

He knew how dangerous this game was, but he didn’t think before starting it up.

He should have taken a moment - he should have kept you safe instead of trying to prove a point.

The idea of losing you because of one judgment error that was influenced by his sin was enough to make tears start to sting in his eyes. He couldn’t lose you. Not now - not ever.

He quickly snapped himself out of those thoughts. Focus on the mission at hand.

There would be plenty of time to be down on himself later - once you were safe.

Levi raced through the entire game, taking on every challenge with unbelievable skill. If he wasn’t so worried he’d be excited about getting the fastest clear record.

He finally reached the dungeon area and took out the final boss with almost no effort. The Grand Admiral of Hell could be scary when he wanted to be. 

He finally found you in one of the rooms, passed out.

Levi felt a wave of relief wash over him when he laid eyes on you, but his guilt only worsened when he saw the blood coating your arms and legs.

Luckily, they were minor injuries and you would be okay. But you got hurt because of him and it was something he could never forgive himself for.

The three of you were transported back to the Devildom, and as the scenery around him changed back to his room, Levi noticed Lucifer standing there, looking angry beyond belief.

Lucifer ordered Satan to tend to your wounds while he gave Mammon and Levi a very long lecture.

And there it was again - that familiar spark of jealousy at Satan being the one who got to tend to your wounds.

But look at the mess his sin had just gotten you all into. He didn’t have the right to be jealous when it was his jealousy that got you hurt.

Satan tended to your wounds pretty quickly, glad to see that things weren’t worse.

You had bandages on your arms and legs, but overall, you could move and the wounds weren’t that deep.

Levi showed up at your door a little while later and when you opened it, he refused to look at you out of the shame he was feeling.

You couldn’t help but feel sympathetic towards him. His sin was just as hard to control as the other brothers and Mammon had pushed him but you were sure he was only blaming himself for what happened.

You invited Levi in and he immediately started apologizing profusely.

You couldn’t get a word in, so to stop his rambling, you gently took his hand in yours and he finally met your eyes as his body started short-circuiting at the contact.

You bit back a smile at his reaction and told him sincerely, “I’m okay, Levi. Look - just a couple of bandages.”

Levi had never felt so grateful that you didn’t hate him for what happened and you led him over to your bed, not letting his hand go.

You wanted to distract Levi from the thoughts that always threatened to cripple him, so you asked him to watch anime with you. It was the least he could do, right?

Mostly, you just wanted to spend time with him and Levi couldn’t have been more excited.

You noticed him glancing at you throughout the night and you did your best not to lock eyes with him, knowing that if you caught him staring he might flee the scene.

But, he couldn’t stop admiring you and your resilience. He made a promise to himself that night to never let you be put in danger again; and, if you were in danger, he would be the one to save you again - the only one.

The Avatar of Wrath was one known for having outbursts at the smallest things

So, it should have been no surprise when he lost control in front of you.

You had made a simple mistake in which one of his books had gotten damaged and despite you apologizing profusely, he still lost his cool.

And you weren’t sure how to react, because while you had seen Satan take out his rage on others, he had never taken it out on you - not like this.

Part of you was in shock, and the other part was defensive because it really was a simple mistake.

But, Satan was in a blind rage and before he could stop himself, he had said some really hurtful things and had even broken some things in his room.

You were hurt, angry, and a bit scared of Satan so you fled the scene, needing some time to yourself.

You left the House of Lamentation, not wanting to see any of the other brothers either. You just needed a moment to calm down.

You decided to go for a walk and just took off in a random direction. You didn’t care where you were going.

All you cared about was getting away from the House of Lamentation for a while.

You should have paid more attention at RAD when they were going over the terrain of the Devildom because, after about thirty minutes of walking, you realized you were lost.

You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t even notice the scenery had changed from the normal lights to you being completely surrounded by trees.

You let out a small shaky breath as the realization that you were in a bad situation suddenly dawned on you.

You surveyed the area around you, trying to find anything that might look familiar to you, but you were completely lost.

You could hear the Devildom creatures skittering through the forest only adding to the eerie atmosphere and making your heart beat faster.

You turned around and quickened your pace. You never made a turn, so if you just went back the way you came from then you should return to the House of Lamentation.

You walked for an hour in that direction and then you paused. You had only walked thirty minutes away from the House of Lamentation, so by now, you should have been back there.

But, still, the only thing that surrounded you were trees. You felt panic starting to settle in as you realized that you were completely lost and you desperately looked around as you tried to decide which direction to walk in.

Back at the House of Lamentation, Satan had finally started to calm down and with every ounce of rage that left his system, it was replaced with guilt.

You were the only person he never wanted his sin to affect, but he lost control.

The book was one he enjoyed reading, but he could get another copy. Besides, no book would mean as much to him as you did.

Satan immediately began searching the House of Lamentation for you but only found Beel in the kitchen instead.

“Satan, what are you doing here?” Beel asked and he was a little taken aback by his question. He lived there? Was that a sufficient answer?

Seeing his slight confusion, Beel clarified his question by saying, “I thought you were with Y/N.”

“I’m trying to find them,” Satan replied and now it was Beel’s turn to be slightly confused.

“They’re not here,” Beel replied and Satan’s heart skipped a beat.

“Where are they?” Satan asked, doing his best to stay calm but his voice was beginning to shake.

“I saw them leave. I thought they were meeting up with you,” Beel replied, a bit confused as to what exactly was going on.

Satan didn’t waste any more time as he quickly exited the House of Lamentation and now it was his turn to panic as all the worst possible case scenarios began playing through his mind.

Satan thought very analytically. He could find you. He would find you. He just needed to take a breath and think.

It had been several hours now since you left the House of Lamentation and you had given up hope of finding your way out of the woods any time soon.

You hadn’t dressed for a long trip through the Devildom woods and you were freezing now. You had multiple scrapes across your body from tripping and falling due to your exhaustion and lack of visibility with how dark the Devildom was.

You slumped against a tree and fell down to the ground, taking a few breaths to try and regain your energy as your eyelids started growing heavier and heavier.

You knew that you shouldn’t fall asleep there, but you couldn’t stop it and before you knew it, you were completely passed out.

Satan searched everywhere. He refused to give up until he found you. All he could do was hope that you were okay when he did find you.

It took time, but eventually, he came across you sitting on the ground, slumped against a tree and not moving. 

Satan’s blood ran cold as he saw your form. From where he was standing he couldn’t see if you were breathing so he immediately rushed over to you, gently taking your head in his hands as he called your name.

His voice immediately woke you up and you slowly opened your eyes meeting striking green ones.

Satan let out a deep breath of relief when he saw you open your eyes and he carefully scooped you up in your arms.

Your head rested against his chest and he told you, “Get some rest. I’ll get you home safely.”

You were immediately comforted by his words, whatever fear you had of his rage dispersed by the way he lovingly held you and made you feel safe.

When you got back to the House of Lamentation, Satan set you on his bed and started tending to the scrapes you had obtained. 

There was a bit of a tense silence between the two of you, neither one of you knowing what to say to each other.

“I promise, I will do everything in my power to never let my rage get out of hand towards you again,” Satan stated after another moment, keeping his eyes fixed on your injuries.

You could see the look of sadness in his eyes and you knew he must have been kicking himself for this whole situation.

“I’m sorry for damaging your book,” you replied, wanting to apologize as well but Satan shook his head.

“All that matters is that you're safe,” he replied as he finished with the first aid kit, setting it aside and sitting next to you on the bed.

He immediately pulled you into his arms, and kept you there, relishing in the warmth you provided. He could have lost you tonight and he didn’t know what he would ever do without you.

You hugged him back before reassuring him, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Asmo wasn’t one who typically argued with you. He loved you so much and only wanted you to love him back.

So he did anything and everything he could to make you happy.

And the biggest thing that made you happy was getting to spend time with Asmo.

While he was more than happy to oblige, dedicating his time to you also meant taking it away from the things that he used to do regularly to help keep his popularity status up.

Of course, Asmo had his group of loyal fans who would support him to the ends of the Devildom without requiring him to post on FabSnap or Devilgram regularly.

But, he’d be lying if he didn’t say that his popularity had certainly taken a hit lately.

You understood that having his fans was important for Asmo. He wanted to be loved by everyone and he could get really down in the dumps about himself if he wasn’t.

You tried to be supportive and not complain about the lack of time you had been getting with Asmo.

But now you were sitting alone in a restaurant, waiting for Asmo to show up, feeling embarrassed as you texted him.

This was the third date in a row that Asmo promised he would meet you, only for you to show up and have to wait for him. 

He would either be extremely late or not show up at all and his excuse was always something to do with his livestream going on for longer than he thought it would or that he was taking extra time to make sure his look was perfect for pictures.

You knew that these kinds of things were just part of Asmo’s charm but you had been sitting at the restaurant for two hours now and you were beyond frustrated. 

You decided to give up on the date idea and texted Asmo as much before deciding to take a walk around the Devildom.

You were fuming as you walked around the Devildom and you only got more irritated when Asmo texted you to innocently ask why you had canceled the date.

Asmo’s obliviousness as to why you were upset somehow made you even more made because you knew that Asmo wasn’t doing anything to intentionally make you mad.

You were stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you missed your time with Asmo and you wanted to express your need for him.

On the other hand, you didn’t want to come off as unsupportive or ask him to take time away from something he loved.

Your mind was racing with these thoughts, clouding your awareness and distracting you from your surroundings.

You continued to walk, almost mindlessly, as you attempted to sort through your internal dilemma. 

After a while, you decided to take a breath and reset - being stuck in an endless loop wasn’t going to help you solve anything.

You leaned against a nearby wall and took a look around yourself, trying to figure out where you ended up walking.

But the more you looked, the more you realized you didn’t find anything that looked familiar to you at all.

Your mind began to race again, but this time the thoughts were purely about all the things that could go wrong while you were by yourself in an unfamiliar part of the Devildom.

As you tried to figure out how to get out of there, you heard a group of demons approaching and your heart skipped a beat as you prepared for the worst.

Meanwhile, Asmo was searching everywhere for you.

You had opened his message and you never replied to it - and that was something you never did.

He gave you a few minutes to respond, hoping that you were just really mad and typing out a long message.

But, when it didn’t come, he promptly ended his livestream and went out to find you himself.

He searched around the restaurant and asked anyone he saw if they had seen you and eventually, he was pointed in a direction.

He tried his best to keep a clear mind but it was a difficult task as more and more possibilities of things that could have happened to you continuously popped into his mind.

The demons had approached you just as you believed they would. Not everyone believed in Diavolo’s exchange program like most of the students at RAD.

One of them had attacked you and you dodged it just in time, gaining a deep wound on your arm but protecting yourself from any fatal blows.

You thought that they were going to attack again when Asmo suddenly appeared out of nowhere, looking more angry than you had ever seen him.

You could see his lips moving so you knew he was talking, but you couldn’t hear what he was saying.

Whatever it was, you watched as fear crept into the faces of every single one of the demons before they eventually all scurried away.

You let out a breath of relief at their disappearance and Asmo turned to face you.

The anger immediately dissipated from his eyes, replaced with worry as he frantically looked at your arm.

It was only a gash on your arm, but Asmo would have everyone believe you were about to die.

He helped you get to the House of Lamentation where he was even more of a drama queen.

He started crying for help as soon as the door was open and when you were met with his brothers, Asmo’s face would be covered in tears as he begged his brothers to help you.

It was really overdramatic, but at least you knew that he cared.

Asmo held your hand and gently stroked your hair as your arm was tended to. He wanted to be there to comfort you, but you could tell he was uncomfortable by the way he winced whenever he caught a glimpse of your wound.

Once it was completely bandaged up, Asmo took you to his room and laid with you on his bed. He brought you as close to him as he could, making sure your injured arm was resting on top of him so that it didn’t get bumped around.

You were even deeper in your internal dilemma now. If Asmo hadn’t shown up when he did, you might not have made it. He saved you - so did you have a right to be mad about everything that happened before that situation?

Asmo could practically hear your mind racing. He knew that something was bothering you and he hated it.

“Are you mad at me?” Asmo asked. It was the only thing he could think of that would be causing you to think so hard. You let out a small sigh as you tried to find the right way to word things.

“No, Asmo. I’m not mad. I just - I miss you,” you replied and he could hear that your words carried a heavier weight than usual.

He stayed quiet for a moment, hoping you would continue on your own, but when you didn’t say anything else, he begged you to talk to him.

You knew that now was the best chance you were going to get to explain how you felt and you told him everything that had been bothering you.

Asmo was taken aback by your words. He had no idea that you were feeling like this and it bothered him more than you could ever know to find out he was the reason you were feeling like this.

Nothing was more important to him than you. You were the only one who brought love and light into his life and whether he had a million fans or none, it wouldn’t matter as long as he had you.

Asmo told you all of that but you also wanted to stress the fact that you didn’t want him to stop what he loved. That would be just as bad.

The two of you lay in bed for a while as you both brainstormed, both of you at an impasse and not knowing where to take things from there so that you would both be satisfied.

That’s when Asmo came up with the brilliant idea to have you livestream with him. It would mean you and him get to spend more time together without removing that part of his life.

Plus, the more popular you were among the denizens of the Devildom, the less likely anyone could try and hurt you again. 

Asmo thought it was the perfect solution, as long as it was something you were interested in doing. 

He wanted to give you some time to think about it, so he asked if the two of you could talk about it tomorrow.

That night, he had come too close to possibly losing you and the only thing he wanted to do was hold you close so he could remind himself that you were there with him.

That was the only thing that mattered.

While Beel’s stature could easily make anyone believe he was a fighter, everyone close to him knew that he was just a giant teddy bear.

He didn’t like fighting and he despised it even more so when it came to you.

Beel looked at you like you were the sun that his whole world revolved around. And because you meant so much to him, Beel never wanted to see you upset.

He did everything he could to make you happy.

So, for you and Beel to fight, it had to be over something pretty big - at the very least, over something that meant a lot to him.

And besides you and his family, the thing that meant the most to him was food. And he had been craving a specific item from a bakery that was a bit far from the House of Lamentation.

Beel had gotten the item in surplus because he rarely had the opportunity to go to the bakery.

He had even been so good about not eating all of it in one sitting so that he would have some extra for later.

But, when he returned to the kitchen for the rest of his food he instead discovered you - eating his special snack.

And now Beel was in an intense internal dilemma as his sin fought to reach the surface and cause him to snap at you.

He knew that you didn’t mean to eat his things on purpose. You had barely gotten the chance to discover all the food the Devildom had to offer so you would have no idea what snack you were eating or that it was hard to get it.

You saw Beel there in the kitchen watching you eat, a struggled look on his face as he tried to hold back his anger. He didn’t want to take it out on you.

You wondered why he could be angry and then you looked down at the evidence in your hand and you realized what you must have done.

“Was this yours?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer. He took a moment to respond, but his reaction gave you the answer you needed.

When he finally did speak, you could tell he was holding back as he explained where those snacks came from and how he doesn’t get a chance to have them often.

He was visibly upset, even though he was trying to hide it, and you felt terrible. You wouldn’t have eaten it if you had known how it was Beel’s, especially if it was a rare snack.

You tried to apologize to Beel but he was being a bit short with you. You couldn’t blame him though. You just wanted to find a way to make it right.

Beel ended up walking away from the situation so that he didn’t end up saying something that he didn’t mean and would regret later.

When he went to cool down, you felt even worse. Beel was never angry at you, so you knew that you messed up big time to bring him to this level.

Luckily for you, during the discussion, Beel had told you the name of the snack, the bakery it came from, and where it was in the Devildom.

You had all the information you needed to buy him more and you figured the least you could do was replenish what you ate.

So, you left immediately to the place where he talked about it.

However, what Beel didn’t mention while talking to you was that the reason he didn’t get the snack very often was because the area of the Devildom the bakery was located in was a very dangerous place. 

It had been a while after you left when Beel was finally feeling a bit better.

He felt bad about being short with you and with the way he left in the middle of the conversation.

But, if you were anyone else, he would have already been on a food rampage and that was the last thing he wanted to happen so he thought walking away would be the best solution.

As soon as he was feeling better, he went to find you. He first looked in the kitchen where he last saw you.

You were nowhere to be found, but on the table where you were sitting, there was a note that you had left for Beel explaining where you had gone.

Beel felt his heart sink to his stomach as he read your words. There was no way you would go there without someone accompanying you, right?

Beel couldn’t afford to wait to find out the answer to that question.

While he was rushing to come to your aide, you found yourself in a bad situation with some demons.

You managed to find the bakery Beel mentioned and they still had some of those treats. You grabbed as much as you could afford - and carried - and you were making your way back to the House of Lamentation when a group of demons approached you and drove you into a nearby ally.

Beel showed up at the bakery a few minutes after you had left and immediately asked if they had seen you there. When they confirmed that you had bought some treats and already left, Beel was slightly panicked. If you weren’t there, where could you be?

He immediately began searching around the area, but he didn’t see you anywhere.

He heard a small scream close by and immediately rushed in the direction only to find you sitting on the ground, holding your leg.

Beel immediately rushed over to you and you were so thankful to see him. The other demons had already left, taking your belongings with them.

You were bleeding from a small wound near your ankle, but you were grateful that it wasn’t worse.

Beel was more than angry to see his girl injured but was also relieved that you hadn’t been more badly hurt.

“What were you thinking?” he asked softly, a question of worry not anger.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to make up for the food I ate by buying you more,” you replied and your eyes widened as you realized the demons had taken the snacks as well as your wallet so now you couldn’t even replenish Beel’s stock.

Beel seemed to understand what happened by the look you were expressing and he couldn’t help but fall in love with you a little more.

You were so kind and caring. You were someone who deserved the world and someone he believed he didn’t deserve.

Beel managed to treat your small wound before offering to take you to the bakery. This time the two of you could share some of those snacks.

He had money on him and didn’t mind paying for some more. Besides, you were both already down in that area, you might as well make the most of it.

The outing turned into a pretty good date that made Beel realize he never wanted to be without you by his side. And he would never let there be an opportunity where you could be taken from him again.

 Beel was very sweet to you for the rest of the day, still feeling like the events of the day were his fault because he couldn’t control himself.

He more than made up for his small outburst and he wasn’t even the slightest bit angry about his food being eaten anymore.

Though, when you got back to the House of Lamentation, Beel made sure to tell Lucifer everything that had happened.

The demons who hurt you may have gotten away temporarily but when they messed with you, they missed with all seven of the demon brothers, and there wouldn’t be a place they could go where Lucifer wouldn’t find them and punish them.

It was no secret that Belphie tended to start fights. He could act bratty when he wanted to, and if you weren’t in the mood for his antics, it was easy to get upset at him.

And don’t think that he would back down if that happened. He would stand his ground until whoever was mad at him was forced to walk away; and, he would wear a smug smile as they did, knowing he had won.

But, Belphie never expected you to be on the opposite end of this kind of fight with him.

And it was over something that was so small but escalated too quickly.

You had come home from a very busy day at RAD and immediately went to the attic where Belphie was taking a nap.

You had recently been assigned to take charge in a RAD event that was coming up and to say that you were stressed would be an understatement.

You were overwhelmed and on the brink of a mental breakdown and you went to Belphie for comfort, hoping he could help you find a solution to your problems, or at the very least, calm you down.

But Belphie had just woken up to you being upset and truth be told, he still felt half-asleep.

He wanted to listen to you but every inch of his body was craving to go back to bed and it resulted in Belphie falling asleep midway through your rambling.

You shook him awake once more, desperate for his comfort and that’s when he pulled you down into the bed as well.

“Just take a nap, Y/N, it will help you feel better,” he told you and you let out a sigh as you felt like Belphie wasn’t listening to a word you were saying.

“I don’t have time to take a nap, Belphie. Weren’t you listening?” you asked him, turning to look at him only to be met with the sight of his eyes closed once more.

You let out a scoff as you moved from the bed, standing up and gathering your things to leave. Unbelievable.

“Sometimes, it feels like you don’t care at all,” you stated. You were exhausted and frustrated and the words left your lips before you could comprehend the weight of them.

And Belphie took offense to them. But instead of trying to convince you that he did care - an action that would have made you feel guilty for saying those words - Belphie got defensive.

He snapped back with his own snarky remark which led to the two of you arguing back and forth, exchanging heated words.

And when Belphie was in a battle of insults, he always won. Because he wasn’t afraid to go past the line that most people drew.

He immediately regretted it when the words came out and he saw the hurt in your eyes.

He tried to backpedal, but he was stuck and when you walked away he realized the feeling he got from this argument was far from the feeling of satisfaction he got when he bested one of his brothers.

You had decided to go back to RAD to work on the project you were assigned to try and take your mind off your fight with Belphie.

You could admit that you were out of line with the things you were saying, but so was Belphie. You felt awful about how things went, but you were afraid if you went back to Belphie too early, he would still be mad and the two of you would end up in another argument.

You didn’t mean to stay out for as long as you had. You were so wrapped up in your work that you didn’t even pay attention to the time.

And before you knew it, you had fallen asleep at RAD.

Belphie hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep since your fight. He felt guilty about his part in the fight; but mostly, he was anxious because he knew you left and you hadn’t come back yet.

He didn’t get any text messages or phone calls from you and none of his brothers had seen you and he was panicking.

He nervously paced in the attic as he wondered if he was the reason you were injured, once again.

He would never forgive himself if he found you hurt - or worse.

When his anxiety hit its peak, Belphie decided to go look for you himself.

His demon form had slipped out as panic clouded his mind and he raced around the Devildom, looking for you.

This was far more effort than he had ever put into anything but he could care less about that. You were the only thing on his mind.

His eyes were crazed as he looked everywhere he could think of, but you weren’t anywhere. 

Finally, the last location he looked at was RAD and he felt his body flood with relief as he saw you passed out at one of the desks - perfectly fine. 

Belphie let out a deep breath as he slowly returned to normal, taking in every inch of your body to assure himself that you were okay.

RAD. This should have been the first place he looked and if he really had been paying attention to you earlier - he would have thought about that.

Belphie cursed himself as he contemplated waking you. Would you even leave with him if he asked you to?

He approached the desks and saw what you were working on - there were still so many things you had to figure out for the event and he hated that instead of helping you, he pushed you away.

He looked over the documents and saw something he could help with. He quickly jotted his notes down on the paper and then another item caught his eye.

Without realizing what he was doing, Belphie continued to take notes about things that might help you with the event.

You woke up a few hours later and let out a groan, feeling how stiff your back and neck were from sleeping on the desk.

You let out a small gasp as you saw Belphie sitting next to you, passed out on a desk of his own. Did he come here just to sleep?

You went to gather your papers up to go back to the House of Lamentation. But, as you did, you saw there were notes all over them.

Your eyes widened as you read each paper. That was Belphie’s handwriting. He had solved every single one of your problems that was overwhelming you.

Your heart warmed as you felt even worse about the fight now. You loved Belphie and he loved you and you never should have accused him of not caring. 

The work he put in for you told you everything you needed to know and you finished putting away your stuff before gently shaking Belphie awake.

He opened one eye and you gave him a small smile. “Let’s go home,” you told him softly and he let out a small sigh before standing up.

You didn’t get a chance to say anything before Belphie pulled you into his arms, his head lazily resting in the crook of your neck as he held you close.

“I do care,” he mumbled against your skin and you couldn’t help but hug him back.

“I know,” you replied with sincerity and Belphie was satisfied with your answer.

But, he was still a brat and when the two of you got back to the House of Lamentation, Belphie stated that you had to go lay down with him because you owed him for doing all of your work for you.

You wanted to glare at him for even trying to go that route, but he didn’t give you a chance, taking you to the attic and bringing you down onto the bed with him.

Belphie immediately pulled you close, a small smirk resting on his face as that feeling of satisfaction that he loved finally came to him.

All things considered, your work was done now and you could use some sleep in an actual bed so you didn’t mind laying down with Belphie.

And he just wanted to feel your warmth right there next to him - where you belonged. He never wanted to feel it missing from his side again.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

It is *not* from the Bible. It is related to a specific interpretation of the Bible, and a relatively modern one, called Penal Substitutionary Atonement. You may recognize this theological theory from the churches you grew up in; it originated with Martin Luther, but was popularized by Calvinists. Info/rant under the cut.

From Wikipedia: “Penal substitution, also called penal substitutionary atonement and especially in older writings forensic theory,[1][2] is a theory of the atonement within Protestant Christian theology, which declares that Christ, voluntarily submitting to God the Father's plan, was punished (penalized) in the place of (substitution) sinners, thus satisfying the demands of justice and propitiation, so God can justly forgive sins making us at one with God (atonement). It began with the German Reformation leader Martin Luther and continued to develop within the Calvinist tradition[1][2][3][4][5] as a specific understanding of substitutionary atonement. The penal model teaches that the substitutionary nature of Jesus' death is understood in the sense of a substitutionary fulfilment of legal demands for the offenses of sins.”

Notably, this is *not* the only possible interpretation of the Bible, and was very likely *not* the interpretation early Christians had. If you’d like to see what other Christians think of PSE, the Wikipedia page has a criticisms section.

Additionally, Christians who hold to PSE also often think of God as having perpetual anger and disgust towards humanity because of our sinful nature (as mentioned by OP above). However, there are several theological responses to this, and quite simple (if reductive) ones: If God is the example of perfect love (since God is Love), would he not love his creation? Did he not call us very good? Is it loving to regard someone with perpetual anger and disgust, and to wish they were dead or immolated?

Notably, Calvinists do have responses to these arguments; I’ve heard smth along the lines of “God is also Justice and our immolation would be the only just response to our inherent sinfulness; his love is the only thing holding him back”. I’m sure someone who currently believes in PSE would have a clearer response than what I remember secondhand. But again, this view of God and humanity’s relationship is *not universal*. Catholics, for example, believe that salvation is a perpetual choice; belief is demonstrated not simply in words, but in your works. Someone who believes in Christ should love their neighbor and perform works of mercy (feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, caring for the sick, etc). As John said, “faith without works is dead”. The Catholic tradition of the Harrowing of Hell also contradicts PSE; if those humans before Christ had already been sinful and destined for Hell, having angered God, then why did Jesus restore them to Heaven upon his death? One could argue that PSE applied retroactively, but that also leads to further questions on the nature of God and his mercy; if Jesus is God, and Jesus died for humanity and freed the souls in Hell, why does Jesus act so much more merciful than God? This could go on forever, with scripture and biblical tradition and church doctors from several points of view.

My point is, life doesn’t have to be this way. Christianity doesn’t *have* to be a religion of terror and fear of eternal punishment, constant self-monitoring of every slight fault, and self-hatred for your sinful nature. The interpretation of humanity as “worse than the scum of the earth, it took killing a [sic] god to make you salvageable” is *new* and *not universal*. Personally, I think PSE and related Calvinist concepts of humanity’s sinful nature fosters abuse and self-hatred, and turns what should be a joyous celebration of faith into an exercise of misery.

Absolutely let’s critique PSE and how widespread it is in American Evangelical Christianity. Absolutely let’s critique Christianity as a whole. Not criticizing u OP; just clarifying.

TL;DR: yeah it is fucked up. It also doesn’t have to be like that, and isn’t the only way Christians can understand their relationship to God. What if we stopped.

Look, we joke a lot, but really, "you were born evil, wretched, worse than the scum of the earth, and it took killing a god to make you salvageable, so now you'd better be grateful to that god and thank him 10,000 times a day for it and fill your thoughts with him 24/7 and abide by the letter of his every word, lest you suffer unimaginable torture for all of eternity" is a truly horrendous thing to believe about yourself and other people

[pomefioredove]

can i order a sugar cookie, #18, with frosting and dry fruit please 💕💕 love your work

coughs weakly

order #18, sugar with frosting, dry fruit

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ intent to bite

summary: a miscommunication leads to sharing a small bed with lilia tropes: only one bed, first kiss characters: lilia additional info: romantic, gender neutral reader, reader is yuu, who is an adult, a lil suggestive

"Told you this was a bad idea," Grim mumbles.

"Why am I stuck with Sebek, anyway?! I should be with my hench-human!"

You hold a finger to your lips. So much for hoping Grim would mind his manners on this trip.

"We've been over this," Silver says, carrying a six or seven bags inside the house. "Malleus will take the first guest room, Lilia and the Prefect will take the second, because it has two beds. Sebek and I are sleeping in the lounge, where there's a dog bed for you."

"I'm no dog!"

"That's not-" Silver sighs, looking to you for help. You have nothing.

Then, there's breath on your neck and a voice in your ear. "Oh, don't look so glum. It'll be a fine bonding experience for you boys!"

You jolt, and Lilia giggles into your ear, the airy, cheerful sound almost as teasing as the prank.

Grim sighs. "I bet Sebek snores like a lawn mower..."

"And you don't?" you mutter, much to Lilia's delight.

"Khee hee. Personally, I'm tickled by this! The Zigvolt family is as welcoming as ever. Oh, Malleus, do you need help with that?"

The smaller fae leaves to hold the door open for Malleus, while Grim repeats "tickled??" in a grumble. Silver sighs again.

"It's been a long journey. We'll all feel better once we've slept,"

"This can't be right,"

You stand in the narrow doorway, overnight bag in hand. The guest room is dark, but you can still feel how small it is. There's no way two people can fit in here.

Lilia peers over your shoulder. "What's- ah. I see,"

Your eyes adjust to the darkness. There's only one. There's only one bed.

"Now, this is unfortunate. Our rooms must have been mixed up. And Malleus has already retired, poor thing..."

You look at him. "What are we going to do?"

"Do? Why, sleep, of course,"

"Where?"

Lilia smiles and pats your head, as if you were an adorable kitty cat rather than a very tired and disgruntled adult after a full day of travel.

"In bed, my dear. Unless you were planning on taking the bath,"

He slips under your arm and into the room, tossing his bag on the floor with no regard or interest for the clothes and trinkets that spill from it.

You follow, putting your own things away as he makes himself comfortable on the bed. "Well?"

"...You can't honestly act as if this is normal,"

Lilia giggles. "What are you so afraid of? I'm not going to eat you,"

You listen, if only a little, sitting at the edge of the bed, as far from him as possible. Why is this making you so nervous?

"I'm just not used to it. That's all,"

Shit excuse. He can tell, too, if that smirk of his is any indication.

"Ah, I see. You think, hope, perhaps? that I'm going to make a move on you, as the kids say,"

Your eyes widen and you stumble over yourself, trying to come up with a rebuttal, an excuse, a lie, anything at all.

His smirk sharpens. Literally- his fangs dig into his lower lip, and he sticks his tongue out at you.

"If you're going to be this tense all night, you won't get any sleep. I'll tell you what-" he says, sitting up. "I will graciously allow you one kiss to sate your curiosity. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Now that's just unfair. "That's- what makes you think I would-!"

You stumble some more, and he drinks in the sight of you, flustered and nervous and oh-so close to him.

Lilia lets you argue with yourself until you're spent.

"...Fine,"

He claps. "Very well. Come here, Prefect,"

You sigh, but cross the bed, anyway, feeling the soft, handmade quilt underhand. You can't believe you're going to do this in Sebek's house, of all places...

Curse this fae.

You sit before him, far more vulnerable than you would have liked.

"Very good. But you could come a little closer, don't you think?"

Again, you listen. You sit on his lap, straddling his thighs, much to his delight.

"Better," he mumbles, perhaps more to himself than to you, because then his hand is holding the back of your head and his mouth is on yours.

Lilia doesn't give you much, and you know that's his intention. The kiss is much too chaste for him, and much too slow for you, but passion and pace were never a part of the deal.

You let it go.

And with some reluctance, you part from him, warm and jittery. That wasn't enough, and he knows it.

"You look like you have something you want to ask," Lilia says, his fingers brushing over your neck, feeling the beating of your heart in your pulse.

"...No," you lie.

He smirks again, baring his fangs as if warning you of his intent to bite.

"Khee hee. Don't worry, desire is nothing to be ashamed of. And we all have our little secrets... I, for example, may have asked Malleus to switch rooms with us."

Despite what Silver had said, you can't imagine sleeping now.

[obito-in-disguise]

Reader's cursed technique is slowly killing them won the poll. So without further ado, I present to you:

| The price of power |

Featuring: Ryomen Sukuna, Suguru Geto, Fushiguro Toji, Nanami Kento, Satoru Gojo, and Kamo Choso.

Ryomen Sukuna

At first, you try your best to hide it from Sukuna. You already know how he despises your life as a sorcerer, the very thing he loathes above all else.

You can’t even fathom the storm that will erupt when he discovers it’s not just your choice but your death sentence.

But alas, you’re only human. Bound to slip up.

You return from a mission one day, pale as a ghost, barely able to keep your feet moving. A sickening weight presses against your chest, your limbs sluggish. The world spins violently. Before you know it, you collapse to your knees, hacking up blood, your body betraying you.

Sukuna watches from the corner of the room, arms folded over his broad chest, a glint of barely constrained fury in his crimson eyes. He doesn't move to help. Of course, he wouldn’t. This was your punishment for being foolish enough to put your life on the line.

The room falls into tense silence until his voice cuts through it.

"You are never to use that technique again."

Your head snaps up, heart racing. "How…?"

He scoffs, stepping closer. "Did you seriously think I wouldn’t notice? I can see your life force depleting with every breath you take." His eyes darken with contempt. "I stayed out of it, thinking maybe, just maybe, you had an ounce of common sense. But it’s clear I was wrong."

"You don't understand, Ryo-"

"Be quiet." His voice booms like a thunderclap, sharp enough to make you flinch. He exhales harshly, forcing himself to regain control. "I've let you play the hero long enough. Running around as a jujutsu sorcerer? That ends today."

A part of him almost felt guilty, knowing that the only reason you clung so fiercely to your role as a sorcerer, fighting at the cost of your life, was because you were trying to atone for something that wasn't even your sin. It was his.

You futilely hoped your heroic actions would be enough to balance the weight of his transgressions, somehow blot out his sins. For every sin he committed, you'd supplant with twice as much good deeds.

And that infuriated him more than anything else.

"You can't just ask me to do that!" Your voice cracks with desperation. This was your life. Your identity.

"I can, and I will." His words are final. He grips your arm, helping you up, but you shove him away with trembling hands.

"You don't own me!"

He freezes for a moment, then tilts his head slightly, an impassive look washing over his face. "Very well, then. You’ve left me with no choice."

His voice drops into something more sinister. "Return to that place, and I’ll personally inform them that their highly esteemed sorcerer has been frolicking with the King of Curses."

Your blood runs cold. You know who you’re dealing with. You know the lengths Sukuna will go to get what he wants. His cruelty knows no bounds.

"You wouldn’t," you whisper, shaking your head in denial.

He leans closer, eyes gleaming with sadistic amusement. "Try me."

Tears sting your eyes, but Sukuna remains unmoved. He pulls you into his arms despite your resistance, petting your hair with a gentleness that makes you want to tear yourself away from him and collapse all over again.

"This is for your own good" he mutters, voice almost tender.

Your life as a sorcerer is officially over.

As much as you want to hate him, resent him for his cruelty and selfishness, you can’t ignore the part of you that feels the faintest twinge of relief.

Twisted as it is, this is Sukuna's way of keeping you alive. His own brand of protection, drenched in menace and obsession.

When you look up at him, he tilts his head in response, his expression unreadable. And you know, no matter how warped it may be, this is love, as monstrous as the man who holds you.

Suguru Geto

Suguru believes this is some sort of divine punishment from the universe. Every night, haunted by dreams of past sorcerers lost to the system, he’s convinced that everyone he loves is destined to suffer at the hands of jujutsu society.

And so, with a heavy heart and a resolve forged in despair, he decides to strike back.

To do something about this God-awful system that drains every ounce of worth from its people until nothing remains.

One cold, rain-soaked night, when the world seemed as broken as his own heart, he acted. You were at your weakest, a moment when doubt and exhaustion blurred your senses. Before you could protest, he grabbed you and vanished into the storm.

Soon after, he emerges as a whirlwind of rebellion. The Night Parade of a Hundred Demons marks his war against jujutsu society, declaring that every act of violence, every sacrifice, was done in your name.

"Suguru, what the hell are you doing?" you yell, fists pounding against his chest when you realize what he's done "You made me a defect! I'm branded a traitor now!"

He grabs you, his eyes wild, glazed over with something akin to madness. "I did it to save you" he insists, his voice unwavering. "Don't you see? If you stay with them, they'll keep sending you on missions until you’re dead!"

The air seems to still as your mind races back to memories of simpler days, quiet moments shared in the soft glow of a setting sun, laughter echoing in corridors that once felt like home. You recall a time when every scar told a story of bravery rather than betrayal.

"That wasn’t your choice to make! I love being a sorcerer-" you begin, but your words are swallowed by the storm of your emotions.

"Why should your love for these people spell the end of your life!" he yells out, gripping your shoulders as though trying to shake sense into you, eyes pleading with you.

For a long, agonizing moment, your anger falters under the weight of his vulnerability. You watch him shake with emotion, watch the man you love unravelling before your eyes.

With everything Suguru had been through, you were surprised he didn't crack sooner. Haibara's death, Riko's murder, falling behind Satoru, you'd wondered how he seemed to stomach it all, but it was clear as day to you now. Suguru was not well.

He cups your face, his touch both tender and resolute. "Hate me if you want, but at least you'll be alive" a reassurance meant more for himself than for you.

For the next few months, he keeps you as a prisoner of love. Isolated and weakened, your mind becomes fertile ground for his manipulative truths.

He presents the scars left by the system, scars not only etched into your body but twisted deep into his soul. The memory of every lost friend and every bitter injustice converges in his words, painting the jujutsu world as the real enemy.

Slowly, insidiously, his beliefs begin to seep into your consciousness. The line between your thoughts and his conditioning blurs until you find yourself wondering:

'maybe the world wouldn't be such a bad place without those damned monkeys'

Fushiguro Toji

"Are you scared?" Toji’s voice is low, steady, but there's a dangerous edge to it. He tosses his gun up and down in his hand as he waits for you to respond.

Your throat tightens. What's the point in lying now? You already have one foot in the grave. "Yes."

The rage that flickers across his face is immediate and terrifying, but he immediately reels himself in.

They made you scared.

"Those bastards" he says, pushing himself off the wall. "They did this to you."

You grab his arm before he can move. "Being a sorcerer is where my heart is. It's not their fault."

His jaw tightens, teeth grinding audibly. "The hell it isn’t." He yanks his arm free with a force that nearly topples you. "You're not dying for these people."

"And I'm not quitting!" you snap back, desperate "If I'm going to die anyway, isn't it better I die doing what I love? for the people I love?"

Something flickers in his eyes, something raw and guttural. His expression falters, not in anger, but in something far more devastating; heartbreak, pity.

Watching you plead to sacrifice yourself for people who never gave a damn was unbearable.

Without a word, Toji turns on his heel and disappears into the night.

You don’t know how long you wait. Each second stretches like an eternity, gnawing at your nerves. And when Toji finally returns, the world as you know it has already shattered. The jujutsu headquarters is left in ruins, higher ups dead.

His shirt is torn, skin slick with blood, some his, most not. The stench of iron clings to him, thick and nauseating.

Your heart races. "Toji...What did you do?" you demand, voice trembling.

Toji wipes blood from the corner of his mouth, gaze cold and unrepentant as he begins to take off his bloodied clothes. "I handled it."

"You, you killed them? how could you! they were good people" The words falter on your tongue, disbelief mingling with horror.

He steps closer, towering over you, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you. "You're not well, listen to yourself! They were killing you slow!"

He pauses, his grip loosening, and his expression darkens. "You think I care what they were? Sorcerers, civilians, it’s all the same bullshit. They use people, grind 'em down, and toss 'em out when they're empty. I’ve seen it over and over, and you’re just the latest offering on their altar of self-righteousness."

His voice grows quieter, more resolute, tinged with a harsh philosophy born of survival. "The strong eat the weak. That’s the truth of this world. You can dress it up with loyalty and love, but at the end of the day, it’s kill or be killed."

Toji tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. "You wanna die a noble sorcerer? Fine. But I’m not gonna stand by and watch it happen."

The sheer weight of his actions crashes over you, several people were dead because of you. You can't stop yourself when you whisper "You're a monster"

His lips curl into a sadistic smile. "If keeping you alive makes me a monster, I’ll wear the title proudly doll."

Nanami Kento

Nanami is a man who lives by control. The jujutsu world is chaotic, but he navigates it with precision and discipline. Until the day they return your body.

The mission was supposed to be simple. But when your cursed energy surged one last time, your body gave out. The autopsy is clear; years of strain from your technique had broken you down from the inside out.

Nanami listens in silence, face blank. He barely hears the words, an incessant ringing pounding in his ears. His eyes are glued to your face.

It was the most peaceful he had ever seen you. You looked like you were simply sleeping, finally free of the burdens of being a sorcerer.

He abruptly walks away without a word, unable to bear the gruesome details of your departure any longer. Gojo tries to stop him, but Nanami doesn’t even glance back.

He doesn't cry. He doesn't yell.

Grief claws at his chest, desperate to break free, but he just can’t process it. Instead, he stares blankly at the letter Gojo had managed to press into his hand. He reads it over and over, willing a miracle, willing all of this to be some twisted joke.

'Kento,

I know you'd hate this letter, but I needed to tell you that I was happy. Being with you made all the pain worth it. Every single second of it.

I’m sorry. I didn’t want to leave you like this. You have every right to hate me, I understand.

But I just wanted you to know that being with you were some of the best moments of my life, you made it all worth it.

You reminded me that there’s beauty in a world filled with curses.

I love you Kento, please take care of yourself.'

He slides down to the floor, hands gripping his hair. He wants to resent you, to hate you for leaving him so selfishly, but he can't. All his hatred and resentment are reserved for the system that chewed you up and spit you out.

Nanami Kento wasn't the type to die on missions. He was the type to survive no matter what.

But when he stands before Mahito that day in Shibuya, he finally understands. He sees what made you put your life on the line, the hope for the younger generation, the fleeting chance to make a difference.

So he closes his eyes and welcomes his demise, smiling as memories of you fill his mind for the last time. You were everything to him, and you always would be, even in death.

Gojo Satoru

You'd become something of Gojo's emotional support person. It took him years to open up to you, but when he finally did, he opened the floodgates.

So you felt terrible, terrible that you were wronging him by not telling him the true cost of your cursed technique, the very price of your life.

Each innocent, unaware smile he sent your way was like a dagger to your heart. Yet you were too afraid to tell him, so you tested the waters instead.

"Hey, Satoru… what would you do if something were to happen to me?" you ask gently, unable to make eye contact as you lie on his bed, your fingers absentmindedly toying with the sheets.

"What?" he replies, his tone light, but only for a moment.

"Like if my cursed technique was killing me…" you cringe as the words tumble out unchecked, so much for testing the waters.

In that instant, Satoru's stomach sinks. The moment you reveal what your technique is doing to your body, it's as if the very ground beneath him shatters.

He laughs at first, a hollow, forced sound as he desperately tries to maintain levity. "You're joking, right? that's ridiculous. We'll fix it. I'll fix it."

But when you shake your head gently, his heart plummets.

"I tried everything, Satoru…" you murmur, the admission hanging heavy in the air.

And that’s when you see a side of Satoru Gojo you’ve never seen before. His entire being stiffens with resolve as he rises from the bed, his playful personality shifting to something cold.

"Then you'll just have to never use that technique again" he declares.

You get up as well, hoping he was joking. "Satoru, that's not realistic" you argue, trying to meet his intense gaze. "What kind of sorcerer would I be without my technique?"

"Then I guess you don't have to worry about being a sorcerer anymore"

"That's ridiculous! I dedicated my whole life to this!" you exclaim, shock and desperation mingling in your voice.

Satoru simply smiles, a sickeningly sweet smile that quickly turns menacing as his tone hardens. "There's no point in fighting, Y/n. I have the higher-ups in my palm. If you don't quit, I'll do it for you."

You stare at him in shock. Did he just threaten you? A part of you wants to lash out, but you stop yourself.

Behind his threats, you see a man desperate to save someone he loves. A man tired of being the strongest, of being unable to save the people he cares about.

He swallows, gazing at you with a pained expression, his demeanour desperate. "My mind is made up, Y/n, you’re not dying. Not now, not ever."

Kamo Choso

When Choso loved, he loved fiercely.

His dedication and loyalty to the ones he loved knew no bounds, and you were no exception.

As you lay there, slipping away in his arms, he could feel his world crumbling. "No." he says, voice trembling "You're not leaving me."

"Choso…" you whisper, reaching for him weakly. "I'm sorry."

But he can't. He refuses to accept it. His love for you, his grief, warps into something monstrous. The raw emotion burns through him, uncontrolled. Without even realizing it, he curses you as your last breath escapes.

When you awaken, everything is different. Your body is no longer your own. It's ethereal, consumed by cursed energy that has become embedded in the very fabric of your being. You’re not human anymore. You’ve become a curse.

You both stare at each other in stunned silence, horror painting both of your faces. The weight of what he’s done, the horror of what you’ve become, sinks in.

"I... I didn’t mean to-" Choso’s voice cracks, guilt flooding his words.

Before he can finish his sentence, you burst into uncontrollable tears. You’ve become the very thing you’ve fought against your whole life. The very thing that has caused so much pain to others.

And when your friends and colleagues see you, they’ll be horrified by what you’ve become.

"I just wanted to keep you with me" he chokes out in panic, not knowing what to do. His fingers shaking as he grips you tighter. "I didn’t know-"

Without thinking, he pulls you into a hug, half-expecting you to shove him away, knowing that he’s the one responsible for this. He did this to you. But you don’t pull away.

Choso is all you have now. The only one who sees you as you still are, not as the monster the world will now see you as.

As Choso holds you, he can't stop the sick feeling of satisfaction that blooms up in his chest. He'd never let you know but he was relieved.

He knew your time together was always going to be limited, you were human and he was a curse.

Not anymore.

Now you were going to be with him.

Forever and ever.

Well that was creepy.

Tiny taglist: @catlover19282

Feel free to check out my other Jujutsu Kaisen fics and more stories!

[mameillieureennemie]

idk if you've watched friends before, but there is this adorable clip that just feels so vi and a high maintenance reader. i just know that vi likes to tease and joke abt how "high maintenance" her girl is, but i also know that she secretly loves it. i just finished blowing out my hair and i can feel in my bones that she would watch the whole process and let you blow dry her hair too, or she would learn how to curl your hair so she can do the back for you ykwim?

especially if it was mechanic!vi, i just know that she would try to cover nail salon costs and then use that as an "excuse" to pick the colour or design you get

i'm so in love with this, lovely, you have no idea. i've also never watched friends but i watched the clip and my heart sort of just...melted.

high maintenance!reader and mechanic!vi hits a little different, too. vi's quite low maintenance; she looks after herself well but doesn't take a lot of time doing so. mainly because she's working with cars all day, she doesn't see the point in putting in all that effort. it's all going to get messy anyway, so why bother?

but you? you are something else, entirely.

with your ten-step skincare routine, the one that makes you twenty minutes to complete. all sorts of lotions and serums, all so delicately applied to your skin to make it soft and shimmery. the first time vi watches you, she's stunned; mouth agape and gaze invested as you reach for bottle after bottle. she sees how it amuses you, your plush lips curved in a smile as you dab cream onto her cheeks like a paint on a palette.

"what's that do?" vi will ask quietly when she's really curious but unwanting to disturb. you lock eyes with her through the mirror, your widening smile cutely bunching your cheeks.

"hydrates your skin," you explain, turning around so you're face to face. she's still watching you, still curious, and doesn't resist when you tenderly apply some of the cream to her cheeks and forehead. you reach out with both hands to smooth it into her skin, rubbing in gentle circles as your thumbs crest over her cheek bones.

vi's eyes are already closed, fully relaxed by your touch. she's leaning into you, heavily enough that your back's digging a bit painfully into the sink's counter. but you don't care; you hardly recognise the pain as you continue to tenderly massage her face, working down the slope of her neck.

"that feel good?" you aim for teasing, but miss it entirely, landing heavily on fond.

vi can only murmur, albeit sleepy, as she leans into you more.

from that point, she's never failed to join you for your nighttime skin routine.

but it's not only that.

it's how you take care of your hair, styling it to perfection before you go out. how you keep the best products suited for you on hand.

vi's so dedicated to you that, before you moved in together, she bought all of your must-have products to keep at her place so you're never without them.

she's so keen to take care of you that she'd spend half, if not all, of her paycheck to ensure that you're never without what you need.

does she tease you about how high maintenance you are? definitely.

"who in the world needs five different hair oils?" she asks, always playful and never judging. and as if she wasn't the one who bought them for you without you even asking.

"why so many serums?" she'll tease, despite being the one who ordered them for you because she saw you were running low.

she's just so obsessed with you, and knowing your self-care steps is another way for her to feel closer to you. if she can know how to blow-dry your hair, she'd be over the moon. if she can know how to treat it, she'd be the happiest person on earth.

taking care of you is the absolute best thing for her. especially when you do it back just as hard and just as loving and obsessed.

also circling back to mechanic!vi paying for your nail appointments—that is so very true.

i like to believe that vi makes a good living doing what she does because she's good at it. she's a very well-sought after mechanic who was taught by the best, vander. so she isn't lacking in jobs, not in the slightest.

but it's funny—and so adorable—to think that when she gets paid, she's immediately thinking about how to spoil you. instantly books you with your favourite nail artist, sends you a message confirming it, and grins ear to ear when you send her a voice note of you excitedly thanking her.

you're her princess, she wants to look after you!

oof.

this got away from me.

it's just that vi's such a "my wife" gal and i love her so much.

[elijasz]

I know a lot of people wont be with me on this but give me a moment of your time anyway. This whole trend of mindless consumption is related to the huge amount of media and input we have access to nowadays. I believe that we should limit what we consume and only consume things we have found through social interactions, word of mouth or because we looked it up. There is SO MUCH media out there. More than we could ever consume in many lifetimes. We have to limit this. Not by creating less! My gods please don't create less! But by consuming only things that people have created for the sake of creation. If you create for the sake of money, like Disney does, you'll lose your depth. Mass produced culture is worthless and temporarily relevant. It dies eventually.

We HAVE TO take more time to create amazing things. Wait 10 years for the next movie, or book etc. A month is not enough to write a good book or make a good movie. Half a year isn't enough to create an amazing animated film. Please start taking your time to create and consume again. And consume with awareness. Meaning consume things that took time and effort to create and aren't made by some huge company because they want to sell you the next mass produced piece of culture.

So finally, I have a quest for you: Go to an art gallery or museum or even a library. Gather information on a topic or artist that/who fascinated you when you encountered it/them. And then tell someone about it. Ask them to join you on another trip to a gallery or museum. Hook them into something that is worthwhile. (I don't mean just old art etc. There are art galleries with small, young artists aswell) Get off the internet and see culture in person. Even just go through a walk in the city, listen to street musicians, look at street art and graffiti. Because in person, culture has a limit. Both in time and location. You need to put effort into consuming it. And because you put in effort, its worth more to you.

I’m not even an anti-internet person like I love the internet, I just get so frustrated with the passive way people have become accustomed to using it now. not actively seeking things out or engaging with communities, just turning their brain off & letting the algorithm feed them whatever it wants. & I can’t help but feel like that’s partially to blame for the current state of things (anti-“woke” backlash is easier to digest if you turn your brain off when online)

[beneathsilverstars]

what does the party think of loop being a different siffrin. like why theyre here. likee do they think loop is a siffrin who.. succeeded? a siffrin who died?

[context: Dagger Ending AU]

Ooh yes. Here's everyone's theories from the first week or two, and what Loop had to say about them!

They've all discussed their theories together (though with some details omitted when Bonnie's there), and they have varying opinions on each other's, but they mostly stick to arguing their own if just because they have a clandestine bet going on. Maybe a little gauche, but sometimes you need to lighten the mood by acting the same way you do for sillier topics.

Bonnie's theory: Siffrin asked the stars for a friend.

Bonnie's story is inspired by some fairytales they were told when they were younger. Those fairytales were inspired by stories from the forgotten island, so Bonnie's version here actually brings it closer to the originals again! Though of course, with a Vaugardian twist.

Bonnie says: Siffrin was worried about being left alone, so since he really likes the stars for some reason, he asked the stars to be his friend forever. So one of the stars came down to be with him! But obviously a dot of light wouldn't make a very good friend, so they had to Change to be a person — and a dot of light that isn't a person yet wouldn't know how to Change right yet, so they just cheated and copied Siffrin. But it's impossible to Change to be exactly like another person, you can only ever be a new version of yourself, so that's why Loop isn't the exact same as Siffrin.

Bonnie: I know you don't want to explain to us why there's two of you, and why you're not a— you're... more different than people can normally be, but if I tell you my thee-ry, will you at least just say if I'm right? Loop: Hm... Probably not. Loop: But you should tell me anyway! [Bonnie explains their theory.] Loop: Aw! That's a very cute story~ [Loop's smile becomes more forced.] Loop: That is all I am, aren't I? A star friend for pooor little Siffrin, so he doesn't have to be all alone? Bonnie: I knew it!!! Bonnie: Do you miss being a normal star, up in the sky? [Loop takes a deep breath.] Loop: I miss a lot of things. But I asked to be here. Bonnie: Oh! Did you ask for a friend, too? It would make sense for the stars to pick you to send, if you were lonely too. Loop: ... I did! You're very good at this. Bonnie: Of course I am!!! Loop: You know, you should tell your story to stardust. I think they'll like it better than I do. [Bonnie runs off to tell Siffrin about it, and then to tell the other adults that Loop said they were totally right.]

Isabeau's theory: Loop is a sadness made out of Siffrin's self-hatred and loneliness.

There's stories about people finding "their" sadness that mirrors them exactly, including both fiction that uses it as a metaphor for inner battles, and folktales that claim to be true. Isabeau used to not believe the folktales at all, because they vary so wildly, and surely one single person's emotions couldn't be strong enough to make a sadness as sapient as some of the stories claim — no sadnesses are that clever, not even the big powerful ones that are made out of so many people's emotions that they aren't even vaguely human-shaped.

But, now, well... If it is possible, it's hard to find any negative emotions stronger than the reasons someone tried to kill themself. And it's undeniable that Loop seems to be closer to a sadness in physiology than they are to any living creature.

Plus, there could very well be some other factor that pushed Loop into full personhood! Some of the stories include the sadness feeding on its originator until the person wastes away and the sadness takes their place, which is far-fetched, but so is this whole situation. Or, animating a statue kind of involves putting a bit of yourself into it — your craft energy, your intentions — so perhaps Siffrin had put a lot of themself into Loop, in a way that isn't possible with something nonliving. It would explain the craft exhaustion, too, if Siffrin had fueled Loop's becoming in some way or another.

Isabeau: Bonnie said you said they were right. That you're a star sent to be Sif's friend. Loop: I'm sure they did. Isabeau: ... But it's not true, right? [Loop looks away.] Loop: ... I didn't actually tell them it was. I didn't lie to them. Just... parts of it. Isabeau: Parts of it were true? Isabeau: Which parts? Loop: ... What do you think? Isabeau: Well, it would depend on exactly how they worded it, wouldn't it? They keep changing their mind on the details. Loop: What do you think, then? Isabeau: About… Loop: Me. Isabeau: Right. [Isabeau makes a face.] Isabeau: I... don't know that it would do any good to tell you. Loop: Wow, that bad, huh? Now I have to hear it. Isabeau: Just, promise you won't take it the wrong way? [Loop squints at him.] Loop: I'll take it whatever way I want. Isabeau: Alright, fair enough. Alright. But, whether or not my theory is true, that doesn't change how I think about you, okay? You're a person, and you're our friend, and I'm glad you're here with us. Loop: Just get on with it, Fighter. Isabeau: Yeah, yeah, alright. Isabeau: It’s... I think you might be a sadness? [Loop gasps dramatically.] Loop: Ooooh, how could you~? Isabeau: There would definitely have to be more to it. You are a person, and you're stable, Sif's moods don't affect you any more than they do the rest of us. But... you're not human. You don't need to sleep, you can't eat, you're just... not made out of living stuff? But you're not artificial either, you're not an inanimate thing that's been crafted to move. You're alive! And there's only one sort of... being... that I know of, that's alive but not living. And, well... Sif...... Loop: ... They were so very, very sad. Isabeau: Yeah. Loop: Well! It does make sense! Loop: Of course you'd go for the depressing, realistic answer! Loop: You're entirely wrong, of course, but... Loop: I... [Loop looks down at their hands.] [They move their hands up, to grip their arms.] Isabeau: Sorry. I knew you wouldn't like it. I swear it really, really doesn't matter, okay? However you... got here... you're here now, and you're you, and we're glad of it. Loop: ... Isabeau: I'll go see if Bonbon needs any help with dinner.

Mirabelle's theory: Siffrin killed himself, and he both got brought back to life and lived on as a ghost.

To be exact, he successfully(-ish?) committed suicide when he said he was going to go take a nap in the meadow. She thinks it's an earlier attempt rather than the one Odile saw because: Siffrin had originally told Isabeau he wanted to talk again with someone he'd spoken to the day before — which could only have happened earlier in the day, because Siffrin was never left alone later — and while that could be a lie it also explains how Siffrin knew that Loop was at the favor tree at all; Odile mentioned how confident and unflinching he was about it, which could be explained by having done it before; and everyone agrees that the recent changes in Siffrin started, though more subtly, after the nap in particular.

Siffrin not dying from his late afternoon attempt isn't necessarily as much of a factor — Vaugardian ghost lore includes stories of people being haunted by earlier versions of themselves that they’d Changed away from, so there’s precedence for living people having ghosts. Of course this means there are other major Changes besides death (or deciding to die) that can create a ghost, but the other ways Siffrin has changed don't seem quite dramatic enough in the right way to have been the catalyst. In fact, it’s strange than Loop seems to be the more Changed of the two! But perhaps pre-Dormont Siffrin actually was more like Loop and just hid it better, or perhaps Siffrin used to be more like Loop at an earlier point in their life, and had somewhat Changed but not enough to be happy with themself. Either way, any of Loop's traits that post-Dormont Siffrin doesn't seem to share much at all would be parts of themself that pre-Dormont Siffrin "killed".

Mirabelle: Loop... You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but... Are you a ghost? Loop: You know, stardust guessed the same thing! And I told them... Well, I don't remember anymore. Something about the Favor Tree being my grave? Loop: Anyway, you could sort of say that! Except, how could I be his ghost when he didn't actually die? You made sure of that. Mirabelle: Well... I thought maybe... Mirabelle: Maybe Siffrin did kill themself? Before that? And you're the parts of Siffrin that they killed, but you stayed because... because you still had things to get done, or Siffrin still needed you, or… or something like that...? Loop: HA! Loop: Yeah, something like that!!! [Loop laughs hysterically for a bit, then suddenly stops.] Loop: ... Go away, Housemaiden. [Mirabelle leaves to fetch Siffrin.] [While she's gone, Loop leaves the camp.] [Siffrin finds them and brings them back several hours later.]

Odile's theory: Siffrin wished for a companion.

The final loop through the house didn't include either of the forgotten language books on wish craft, but it did include discussion of the impossibility of time craft, and the diary where a lonely person wished for a copy of themself. Odile initially dismissed the diary as creative fiction, but it was still fresh on her mind when she met Loop later that day!

During the next couple days in Dormont, she asked Euphrasie about how she crafted Mirabelle's blessing, because she loves cutting-edge craft. The conversation turned to the King's impossible time craft, and Euphrasie said she thinks he probably used wish craft. She explained that she doesn't know much because it's hard to find anything more than brief mentions of it, but she's confident it's real. She's pretty sure you need to do very particular things in order to use it, though — not any old wish will do — and she doesn't know what those things are. But it's probably the only way the King could have gotten the power to stop time, and there's a chance that the people of Vaugarde’s wishes for salvation contributed to his defeat (but she's not sure because who knows if anyone actually wished the right away).

Now, knowing that wish craft could be real… it’s strange to think that Siffrin might know about something basically unheard of. But they did know about the orrery in the house, and caring about stars is basically unheard of, too! And… Loop says they’re a star… and the King has stars on his armor….. And it’s risky to use one guess as evidence for another, but that could be three instances where the shape or knowledge of stars appeared alongside the use or knowledge of wish craft. And Siffrin spoke to Loop at the Favor Tree, and supposedly that’s where they spoke the day before too, and a Favor Tree is a place where you ask for something you want.

Siffrin’s craft exhaustion could be a point for or against; on one hand, making a copy of yourself must be powerful craft, but on the other hand, wish craft was what allowed the King to perform craft so strenuous that it should’ve instantly killed him. Plus, Siffrin’s exhaustion didn’t hit till at least a full day after they went to the Favor Tree alone the first time. So Odile doesn’t know enough to call that factor either way.

And why would Siffrin try to kill themself shortly after their wish came true? Was it just not everything they hoped it would be? Siffrin and Loop fight a lot, but they obviously care for each other a lot, too… But maybe even getting something they really wanted could make a depressed person feel worse, if it doesn't help as much as they hoped it would, and they decide that means they’re hopeless.

Odile decided on this theory by day three. There are other mysteries that aren’t as neatly explained by it, like the ease with which Siffrin navigated the house, but perhaps they’d made a second wish? Or perhaps that was the influence of the Vaugardian wishes that Euphrasie talked about? And over the following weeks, Siffrin’s behavior has only gotten stranger, in worrying, unexplainable ways. Odile is finding many different pieces to an unknown number of puzzles… but she’s fairly certain she’s got a good start on the Loop corner.

Loop: Well, Researcher? Everyone else has told me their theories on what and how and why I am. What's yours? Odile: I was wondering when you’d ask. My best theory is that Siffrin made a wish — for a friend who wouldn’t leave him, or someone who understood what he felt, or something along those lines — and your existence was the answer. Loop: … Loop: Same story as the Kid, huh? Odile: You did say that they got parts of it right. Loop: It just seems a bit unrealistic for you, Researcher~ Stardust wished for a friend and one just fell out of the sky? Odile: Your entire existence is unrealistic, Loop. But if a craft has the power to freeze an entire country in time, surely it also has the power to create life. Or split it, perhaps. Loop: … But the king used time craft. What does that have to do with wish craft? Odile: The Head Housemaiden of Dormont believes wish craft is what gave him the power to stop time. Loop. W- How does she know about wish craft?? Odile: How do you, Loop? Loop: The— It’s— [Odile waits patiently.] Loop: The book! The, the diary, in that room, with the— the thing for the stars. It talked about wish craft. Odile: Ah, of course. The diary of a person who felt lonely and misunderstood, so they used wish craft to make a copy of themself. The diary you’ve never seen, because you… branched off, let’s say, the day before we fought through the House. Loop: Stardust told me about it! Odile: Of course. You know, they remember a surprising amount about the House? It's been several weeks, and you'd think between the traumatic injury the day before and the fevers afterwards, even the average person would consider it all a bit of a blur. But they still remember details that the others have forgotten, about conversations it seemed they were barely paying attention to. Even one or two things that I don't remember at all. [Loop breathes shallowly.] Loop: W— What are you implying? Odile: Nothing in particular. However shaky the wish craft theory seems, I'm even less sure about everything else. Loop: Well, you should be! Because there is nothing else! [Odile sighs.] Odile: I'm sorry, I know you don't want us knowing about these things. You and Siffrin both. But he's... not doing well. [Loop looks away.] Odile: And frankly, I don't think you are, either. But we can't help if we don't know what the problem is! It's your choice not to tell us, but I'm not going to stop trying to figure it out. Loop: It doesn't matter! The other things. He has you now, all four of you. You're helping. They'll be okay. Odile: What about you, Loop? Loop: ... I'm helping too. I'm trying. I'm here to help them. Odile: Loop... [Odile is about to say something, but stops. She takes a deep breath before continuing.] Odile: It would help a great deal if you and he could be more open with us. Loop: ... Odile: Can I take this as confirmation of my theory, at least? Loop: ... Not quite. Odile: But I'm close. [Loop doesn't claim otherwise.]

[dellamortethelesser]

please talk about illario some more and the way he charms his marks in ways lucanis never could

i am only the peoples' servant...

one thing i find interesting in the wigmaker job (TWJ) is how... subconsciously appreciative Lucanis is of his cousin's talents? while his perception of Illario is certainly fond and familial, there is this consistent undertone of fondness that's always being levied toward him by Lucanis. I won't get too much into it because I am finally working on those essays and may post them up later, but Lucanis is very clearly calling the shots in TWJ and keeping Illario out of the loop in a way that is fit to breed resentment, but it's never about Illario's talents. He acknowledges consistently that Illario is good at what he does, that it works, "amazed at what one man's smile could accomplish".

and that's just it! Illario is innately better at reading people, matching their energy, meeting them where they are. he knows what could get a knight-commander to fluster enough that he sneaks her keys right off her person--and he's never met the woman before. he's good at improvisation, when he's told that there will be need to improvise (much of TWJ is Lucanis putting Illario on the back foot, but he keeps rolling with it and pulling it off even if he's frustrated). Lucanis is just not able to do that--at least, not in a way that's disingenuous.

I don't want to make this about Lucanis but it's hard to not discuss them both; Lucanis is very good at getting to the heart of people; we're shown that consistently in TWJ when he interacts with his contacts and the slaves that they respond to him because of the respect that he grants them as individuals--which isn't a bad thing! it's just... well, they're not revolutionaries, as Illario puts it. Lucanis makes a bad assassin because of that bleeding heart.

Illario doesn't have that; there's walls up, facades, and that's what makes it so easy for him to put on whatever face he needs to charm, seduce, romance, and distract whomever he faces to get what he wants. It's an impressive and valuable skill to be able to do that; Illario understands people in a way Lucanis can't, and vice versa. Illario is also more aware of politics and shifting sociopolitical dynamics in a way that endangers himself and Lucanis that Lucanis... blatantly ignores.

lol i know this was an ask about Illario's seduction skills--he has them, definitely. Lucanis could never dream to match them. Illario throws lines that most people would consider trite but does it so earnestly and skillfully that you can't help but believe him. He tips drinks and offers a new one, brushes a lock of hair back and compliments on the color of their eyes or their taste in jewelry. but I would be remiss to not point out the inherent... dishonesty in his actions compared to Lucanis. Just to give everyone something to think about.

[shoups32]

The mischaracterization of Mel Medarda by both the fandom and the show has to be one of the worst things about arcane.

In the show we see her get mischaracterized and completely ruined mostly when it comes to Viktor and mostly in season 2. This is mostly because of Amanda’s very clear dislike of her (she has said on twitter that she finds Mel boring and did basically use her to further the plot of Viktor.) but I also think a part of it is just the inconsistencies of her character. A good example of this is that we see in season 1 through a flashback that Mel is a very thoughtful character that doesn’t agree with the laws of Noxus nor their reign over Ionia. Inside the show this gets completely ignored when we see her judging Viktor due to him being from Zaun (though I don’t think that is what that scene was implying that seems to be what most do think). With what we know about her she wouldn’t be judgmental of people from Zaun. Now this isn’t to say she would have fixed all the issues and stood up for Zaun from the beginning because she still does care about her power. This is just one of the many inconsistencies in her character in arcane.

Another issue (that is far more important in my opinion) with how she is written that I believe contributes to my post is that she is written into the “disposable black girlfriend trope” not only by the fandom but by the show itself. We see this most in season two when any moment between Jayce and Mel gets Viktor in it. It is very clear Jayce cares for both of them dearly but we also see her get overshadowed by Viktor multiple times. One example is the fire scene. Jayce sees Mel first then it goes to Viktor, that could be a good show on how he cares about them both but it is shown more in a way that makes it seem as though Jayce overshadows Mel with Viktor. Of course this point is only proven more in context of the fact that Jayce rarely ever spoke to Mel in season 2 and didn’t either bring up Viktor or basically called her a shitty person. While I get a lot of people’s defense for this is that in canon Jayce was stressed when you put it all together that defense doesn’t work out much.

My final point is to why and how I think she was so butchered in the show (mostly season 2). One reason is the writers clear dislike to her. Amanda herself has admitted to finding her boring and using her for Viktor on Twitter. In season 1 I think what was protecting Mel from how bad she was portrayed in season 2 was the fact that it had a huge team of writers. Season 2 has been confirmed to only have about 3 writers so not many people to actually give the characters the love they deserve. I think season 2 being rushed is also a huge issue but that is a whole other topic.

If you don’t agree with this that is fine I just have gotten tired of the fandom mistreating her. I do hope someone reads this though and realizes how bad her character is treated.

[thealogie]

Feeling pretty helpless living in America rn. It just feels like the govt is sitting around perplexed and useless while a literal coup is taking place. What should we be doing??? How can an average person with no political power help at all? I only ask you because you seem to have a good head on your shoulders.

Stop reading the news and start volunteering with a local org. Two things are happening right now (1) this administration is trying to move as loudly as possible and make itself look big, powerful, unprecedented etc. to scare and tire anyone watching into submission and (2) the media (partly because it need the views, partly because it's filled with people who genuinely see it as their duty to do this) are making every single move seem like the most unprecedented thing ever. If you are a person without political power, just forget about any of this.

There are people with political power who (for better or worse...and i gotta say it's usually for worse) are deeply invested in making sure American institutions hold up and they will be the ones trying to stop governmental structures from changing. But the best thing you can do is turn away from that. The best way to gain political power is to take care of your corner of the world. Find something you believe in locally and devote some time to it each week - you will see the world is not ending and that small actions make a difference.

[laswells-ashtray]

Soooo because I can't write this properly, so I'm entrusting you with this.

Nik hurt Price comfort.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

Nikolai knows he isn't a young man anymore.

He hears men in their twenties make internet references that go over his head, they all sound like gibberish but apparently, they're humorous to surrounding 20-something year old men.

There are specks of grey starting to appear when he lets his stubble grow out and one stubborn steel strand behind his left ear that he can't seem to hide when he tucks his hair back.

But the excruciating sharp pain that spreads throughout his knee more often than not when he gets out of bed in the morning is a slap in the face to the man he once was.

Realistically he'd always known that the work he does would catch up with him but something about taking that extra minute in the morning just so that he can move without his right knee going out from under him is humiliating.

It isn't just his age, old injuries have a way of making themselves known but it would seem that the older he gets, the longer the list of pains that ail him.

Nikolai is a grown man, he can admit that it awakens an insecurity inside of him that he thought buried. Is he still good enough for John? He had proven himself many years ago but he no longer has the same vitality and agility that he had so often taken for granted.

John is a man in his prime. When did he pass his?

There are many things that a man can ponder whilst waiting to regain the full use of his right knee and yet Nikolai always seems to fall back into that swirling pool of shame and self-doubt. He has yet to find a way out of the water without letting himself drown, choking back into awareness.

One hand rests on the edge of his nightstand, holding him steady as he keeps his weight on his left leg. It's a practised routine by now.

Curling his toes into the carpeted floor beneath him acts as a source of amusement, it is one of few actions that can offer him a distraction as he waits out the aching.

John's string of curses as he batters his pinky off of the doorway is as close to a greeting as he'll receive, he believes that the phrase Sergeant MacTavish would use to describe his partner's ordeal is Fucked It.

The captain somehow manages to overcome his anguish as he approaches Nikolai, stopping in front of him and offering his knee a look of contempt as if the joint had assaulted him personally.

When will it become an inconvenience to him? A flaw that he just can't see past.

"Still playing up?"

He offers John a reluctant nod, there's no use in denying the obvious.

"Why not sit down? It's clearly worse than usual and you're only doing yourself more harm standing, give it a bit of time as you sit down then try to walk around again later."

John's suggestion is deliberately gentle and by the look on his face, Nikolai knows that he's expecting a fight. Maybe he expects the pilot to blow up at him like he has before on one of his worst days, a memory that causes guilt to hack away at what little parts he has that remain undamaged.

Instead, he lowers himself onto the edge of their bed and pretends to miss John's obvious relief.

The other man is quick to park himself beside Nikolai only to fall back until he's sprawled on top of the duvet, fingers hooked on the edge of the mattress as he stares up at their ceiling.

"Back's fucked today. Was thinking of staying in for a bit but if neither of us are up to it then we could go for a lazy day. Bed and Bond, best way to go."

He glances down at his partner, catching the faint grimace on his face as he tries to shift his weight off of the lower left side of his back.

"Okay."

For both of their sakes, he can succumb to his desire for laziness in the name of pain relief.

"C'mere, lie down with me. Can get a catnap in if I've got a good-looking man in my bed and he'll let me use him as a pillow."

The sincerity in John's tone is almost sickening, as is the warm look as he lifts his head just to admire Nikolai. There's an undeniable honesty about the devotion that the other man dedicates to him, his very existence even in its worst state is something that John cherishes. It almost makes him feel bad for doubting them both.

So, he nudges John's shoulder and waits for the other man to settle back onto the side of the bed that he had abandoned only an hour ago before he makes the move to lie down. The pain in his knee is no longer torturous, throbbing lessened to a mere irritation.

The pilot feigns exasperation almost as well as the captain often hides it. "Flattery will gain you nothing."

In lieu of responding, John just plants his face on one of his tits and nuzzles into his chest hair.

[cartwheellou]

[the voice of an arospec whose relationship to romantic attraction has undergone changes over time] So ive spent a LOT of time thinking about this. And I believe Ive come to some sort of answer! For myself, at least. Certainly not for everyone.

Attraction speaks in large part to what you want to do with that person. If I want to be someones friend, i could consider that a platonic attraction. I want to spend time with them, hear about their life, make them happy, etc etc normal friend things. And its not the same for all your friends, you might want some things out of a relationship with one friend that you dont want from another friend. Maybe expectations of spending more time together, being more emotionally vulnerable, etc. And its good when you and your friends expectations for your relationship line up. If you have a friend that wants things from you that you dont want with them, that stinks!

Romantic attraction is pretty similar. You also probably want to do friend things with your romantic partner. But there are other things that you might want with that person. More time together, more vulnerable, maybe even more physically intimate, sexual or otherwise. It can be whatever, as long as you agree on it with your partner(s).

But to me, someone who has struggled with what a romantic relationship is for a long time—how do i know if i want something if i dont know what it is? Do i just like the idea of it?—there is one difference that is a constant. My desire to build a life around this person. Or a desire to spend a lot of time figuring out if its a good idea. You want this person to become someone where if you go, ‘hey i really want to move across the country and i want you to come with me,’ theyll go ‘yes, i want to stay with you.’ Ive had plenty of variety among other expectations like spending time and physical intimacy (im also ace), but that desire has always been there.

But at the end of the day, its all self-definable. Someone could also have all of the above expectations and consider their relationship queerplatonic, or even friendship (in that case thats a cool friend). Really i think the expectations of the relationship are more important than whatever label is slapped on.

And as a side note: I think this is what can be very frustrating to aro people in terms of their friendships. They want to have relationship feature A with their friends, but their allo friends only like having feature A with their romantic partners, because if they have feature A, they also want B and C to be present in the relationship as well. And yeah, it is really frustrating. I think it would be cool if it was more common to communicate expectations as friends. Everyone always says to communicate these things with romantic partners because with higher expectations, it can get more complicated. But friendships have a lot of the same features!

[guy who is aromantic voice] sexual attraction just makes more sense than romantic attraction. like ok, you want to fuck someone. this is quantifiable. it is quite easy to grasp what "i want to fuck someone" looks like, even if you have no idea what it feels like. romantic attraction, though? this is a nebulous construct which seems to largely be "glorified friendship with sex" in the popular imagination. what even is the difference between friendship and romance? the line between friendship and sexual attraction, though both can coexist, is that when there's sexual attraction present, you want to fuck someone. the line between friendship and romantic attraction, so far as i can perceive it within a heteronormative, amatonormative framework, is that it is... friendship where you want to fuck someone. what?

[ballroomblitzzzz]

So I've been doing a lot of thinking recently, about wicked, because of course it's about wicked.

Specifically Glinda and her relationship to sorcery. (Hold tight this one's gonna be a whole ass essay) I find it interesting that the film really tries to make it clear that she has, not just little power, but none at all.

Because in the book she does have magic! Like there's this great scene where her, Nessa and Elphaba are talking about sorcery and she explodes a sandwich in their faces to prove a point.

This isn't relevant at all I just really like the scene. Point is, book Glinda's magic ain't too shabby. And in the musical (unfortunately I've only seen it once so apologies if I've read this wrong) I kinda saw it as she did have magic, but just didn't really get good at it before act 2. But in the film it's clear she doesn't have any. Like in NOMTW she pushes a pedal to make the bubble instead of using her wand, similar to how the wizard uses mechanics to fake sorcery. So why is it different? I hear you ask.

Well my curious child, I'll come to that in a minute (promise) right NOW I wanna talk about why Glinda wants magic in the first place.

And this is something that's had me stumped for a while, I mean it's not like she needs it. She can easily get whatever she wants from social manipulation, and yet it's still her heart's desire to become a sorceress.

And it's SUCH a big part of her character that couldn't just go around not being able to answer that question now could I?? And guys I think I figured it out.

So she's always been jealous of Elphaba, right? Right. And the thing about Elphaba that she envies, is that she's powerful without having to rely on other people. Glinda doesn't have that. She gets to the top because people like her. She said it herself, 'its not about aptitude it's the way you're viewed'. She knows the way to truly succeed is to make sure that you're liked. And she's very good at that, so she doesn't need sorcery, and YET she wants it. And to me this proves that Glinda hates the reason that she's liked. She wants people to love her for what she can do, not for the shallow persona she presents. She wants to have a power all to herself. She doesn't want to need people. She wants to be the kind of person who hops on a broom and overthrows the government at the drop of a hat (pun intended) but that's not who she is.

Of course she doesn't go with Elphaba. Elphaba can be strong on her own but without the public on her side Glinda is powerless.

And just think it's soooo fucking interesting how Elphaba and Glinda's different kinds of power can be seen as just another metaphor for their sense of self. Because Elphaba has had to trust herself, to have a strong enough identity to know that she's better than what people say. But Glinda's entire identity and self worth are tied to what people think of her, she's only as good as people say.

So of course she doesn't go with her.

But here's where she changes (for good hehe). And of course, it's down to Elphaba. Because Elphaba has always believed that Glinda is powerful outside of other people. And, back to sorcery now because yes that is what I started talking about, it's Elphaba who invites her to sorcery class, it's Elphaba who asks Glinda to come and meet the wizard with her, it's Elphaba who asks her to come with her in defying gravity and (SPOILERS FOR PART TWO!!) its Elphaba who gives her the Grimerie. Because Elphaba has always believed Glinda was strong even when she wasn't.

Glinda always wanted to be a sorceress but it was only Elphaba who had faith that she could do it. And this is what makes Elphaba giving her the Grimerie so symbolic and so, so fucking sad. Because Elphaba's showing her that she's better she thinks, she just going like 'hey, you got this'. And srhstjdyfkvhlvukflyyc. And so the way Glinda's viewed doesn't change at all, but the way she sees herself does, and so don't mind me while I go cry in a corner.

And you know maybe all this was obvious to literally everybody who watched the film and I've just mansplained lesbianism to everyone but I just really needed to write this down because I've been going insane about the power dynamics and I can't shut up about it.

But dude these characters are all so complex I just wanna peel them all like onions, but oh boy does it make my eyes water.