#because Simon's so dumb and so in love. hes so scared of fucking this up lol

[the-raindeer-king]

giggling very hard at your mama riley fic. very excited to see where this goes.

Thank you!! I'd like to take this as an opportunity to say that Mama Riley loves all of you, and she's inviting all of us over for Christmas. Although idk if she has the space lol.

[codtrashsammy]

Soft Ghoap Thoughts

Don't get me wrong, i'm a feral freak for all the dark!Ghoap content, too. ...but like... lil idiot soft boys who know they love you but also know they love each other and don't know how to use Google to properly define anything between y'all Maybe you met Johnny first and you guys just clicked and then somehow Simon showed up, and now you're all just a sweet little trio And it's not even sexual for the longest time- Simon would be far too traumatized to just go for that and Johnny has his whole manwhore persona, so he wouldn't want to risk pushing you away in the slightest. So you just casually have these two big ass military duded in your apartment (a house? In this economy?) that just casually exist with you. Simon cursing while trying to fix that leaky faucet you've had since before you even moved in, while griping and barking at Johnny to hold the flashlight steady and you're just sitting on the counter watching it all in amusement. (Simon: Bloody hell, just HOLD the thing Johnny: 'm tryin' real hard, LT, real hard Simon: You're clearly fucking NOT and really they're only doing it because of your little giggles and quips as you sit over their shoulder watching, such a pretty baby for them, just bein' around them and blessing them with your presence) Johnny with his arms wrapped around you after a bad day at work and Simon just comes over and flops down nearby like a cat who wants attention but isn't willing to ask for it- so they both just hand around and kinda comfort you, but really they just wanna touch you. You, who is so confused because one minute they're griping and bantering with each other and the next you have Johnny leaving little kisses on your cheeks with a dumb grin while Simon just happily interlocks your fingers with his when you're walking back home from the bar. Simon and Johnny both who are as obsessed and in love with each other as they are you but are too scared to put a label to it in case that's what finally scares you off and they'd rather have some of you than none of you at all. Okay, more soft thoughts coming later <3 I love these war gremlins sm

[meowmeowriley]

@sergeantwoods Sorry for the long wait, but here's the mer!AU

Think I'll call it Fish Out of the Sea

Ghost x Soap, blacktip reef shark mer!Soap, human Ghost, fluff, getting together (kinda)

Ficlet after the cut 😘

"No."

John sighed, he didn't seem surprised by Shepherd's hard rejection, but he kept trying. Simon had to give props to the fishing boat Captain. "You have the best mer rehabilitation facility in the country. It'd be a shame not to use it."

"You said you had a mermaid. That's not a fucking mermaid, John."

"I said I had an injured mer." He repeated himself from their earlier conversation.

"I'm not taking that thing into my facility."

"He needs help-"

"He's hideous, and aggressive." Shepherd barked. "That thing keeps lashing out, it'll scare patrons, attack my staff, and if that *thing* touches my mermaids, tries to mate with them, I'll have it put down."

"Mers are actually matriarchal, sir." The mer expert, Kyle, finally spoke up. "I've never worked with a shark mer before, but I do know he won't mess with Kate or Rosa, because they won't want him. Since they're together."

"Kyle. For the last time, the mermaids aren't lesbians. They're just fish." Shepherd was one of those who thought of mers as lesser than humans. Obviously.

Simon was standing near the door. No one had noticed him sneak in, but when he'd overheard that the mer was a shark variant, he'd needed to see it. Now, seeing the poor thing huddled in the corner of it's transport tank, curled in on itself, he felt so bad for it. He watched, any time someone went near it it flared out it's dorsal and pectoral fins. It would gnash it's teeth and charge the glass. All signs of aggression in a shark but... as soon as it finished its display it was right back to the furthest corner from the humans. It kept peeking at them over it's own shoulder when it thought they weren't looking. He quietly crept closer.

He took in it's markings, gray on it's back, white on its belly, black tips to it's fins. Claspers on its pelvic fins. A male blacktip reef shark then. His inferior end was all shark, something Simon was very familiar with, as he took care of all of the sharks here at the aquarium, several of them blacktips. His superior end, or top half, he supposed a visitor would (incorrectly) consider it, was new and interesting to him. Though he was vaguely humanoid, his skin was all two tones white and gray, like his tail. He had a wedge shaped snout in place of a human nose, a wider mouth with jagged teeth. Slitted eyes, and a black tipped fin atop his head that reminded Simon of a mohawk. Webbed gray and white hands with black claws rubbed up and down it's own arms in a self soothing gesture. One forearm had an odd angle to it, probably the injury that landed him here.

He retreated from the tank quietly before speaking, interrupting the squabbling of the other men. "He looks like a reef shark to me." Everyone else jumped. "Blacktip reef sharks aren't aggressive. Sure they can get a little iffy during feeding, but they're more curious than anything."

"He's been charging the glass, Ghost." Simon managed to suppress his eye roll at Shepherd's nickname for him. They all called him that here. "Fuck you mean 'not aggressive', you don't know mers."

"No, but I know sharks. He's injured, and defensive. You ever think he doesn't like us because it was something shaped like us that broke his arm?" John winced, he obviously felt bad about it. Not like he could've know he'd caught the mer in his net, but it was nice to see some accountability from a fisherman for once.

"Well we can't communicate with him, so he'll stay scared and defensive." If Simon didn't love the sharks, he would've left this place a long time ago because Shepherd was an absolutely abrasive cunt.

"Kate and Rosa can. And their English is excellent." Kyle spoke up again. "We have them pass on the message of our intentions, and Ghost and I tag team his rehabilitation." Of course he uses the dumb nickname too. "It's the perfect plan! And an incredible opportunity to be one of two aquariums to actually work with a shark mer. The novelty of something so rare will bring in patrons." Kyle was really leaning into Shepherd's true interests here, bringing up money.

Shepherd was quiet for a moment and then, "If anything happens, you're both fired." He then stormed out of the room.

"Thanks, Gaz."

"Of course, Cap."

Now the three of them had to get the shark mer into an appropriate tank.

***

They had initially tried to put him in with the other mers, but he'd seen the sharks in the tank across the hall and told Kate he wanted to be with his own kind. That would make Simon's job easier, anyway. Kate had explained that they needed to put a cast on his arm, and Rosa had wrestled it onto him, since the humans couldn't get too close. They decided to name him John, after Captain Price, calling him Johnny affectionately. Gaz explained to Ghost that part of rehabbing Johnny would be gaining his trust, teach him to communicate. To release him without a way to communicate could lead to him attacking humans and being a problem down the road.

Simon had a plan: ignore him. He was a reef shark, his own curiosity would get him to open up. It took a week.

Simon would feed his sharks from a catwalk above their tank, for safety reasons, dropping their food in in the mornings before they opened their doors. No need to scare any children. For the first week, any time he passed by, Johnny would posture aggressively and gnash his teeth, before snatching up his food and swimming off. When Ghost would gear up and go in the water for his evening shows, Johnny stayed far away. At night, Gaz and his mers would move over and Ghost would mostly just observe as the girls tried to teach Johnny how to speak, and he petulantly ignored them, with a little pout on his face as he refused to even make eye contact with them. It was cute.

The first time he tried to speak was also the first time Simon saw him raise his head above the surface. He seemed frantic. "HAAAH!" He startled a bit at what was most likely the first time he ever used his lungs to breath air. "HAAAAH! AH! YAAH!" he was waving with his good arm. Stretching it out towards the platform between his tank and that of the other mers, thrashing his tail with his fins tucked in. Very distressed. Simon went to check, to see what could possibly be bothering him so much, when he found their elusive fourth mer. Simon had only seen Gary once. Gaz called him Roach, because he hid in the tiniest cracks in the reef in their enclosure, why on earth the isopod mer was on the platform, and not in the water, was beyond him, but he couldn't let the poor thing suffer. He had several of his little legs caught in a grate. Simon spent some time disentangle him. He tossed the infant sized mer into the nearest tank, which happened to be the shark tank, with Johnny. The larger mer immediately dove to catch him. He stroked Roach's antennae back like one would the hair of a small child, a soothing motion. Clearly not as much of a loner as he pretended to be. From then on the little isopod mer could be found clinging to Johnny's sides or fins with his many little periopods more often than not. After that, it seemed that Gary encouraged Johnny's more curious side. The mer's language was mostly outside of the human range of hearing, but Simon occasionally caught clicks, whistles or hums shared between the two.

Simon had left a bucket with soap close to the edge once, the two mers were clearly curious about it, but he didn't think anything would come of it. Which is why it was such a surprise when Johnny stuck a webbed hand in and scooped some out, popping it immediately into his mouth. Simon knew it wasn't enough to harm him, which is why he couldn't help but laugh at the poor creatures misfortune as it sputtered and writhed, making bubbles. While laughing he let his guard down, and was surprised when something struck him, knocking him off the catwalk and into the tank. He opened his eyes and looked around, seeing only Roach, floating downward, listing side to side, tiny head in his tiny hands. He surfaced to see Johnny. "Did you just throw him at me?!" Johnny sunk down so only his eyes and cranial fin were above the water. The little shit. "Not cool, Soap!" He forced his palm out towards the mer, sending a spray of water its way. That seemed to really break down the mer's walls.

Johnny started approaching while Simon would try and clean the tank. At first, darting away if Simon caught sight of him. Eventually however, he would get closer and simply observe. He'd watch Simon work at cleaning the glass or vacuuming the sand at the bottom. It was fun to see shark behavior and mer behavior collide. If Simon sat something down, Johnny would pick it up, and without a doubt if he could get it in his hands, it would end up in his mouth.

There was a small crowd, a child's birthday party had been held over by Gaz's mer tank, the girls were always a hit with the kids, and the little show they put on with Gaz was actually pretty funny. They'd harass him as he pretended to try and do his chores. Slapstick comedy was good for all ages.

Simon had his own show with his sharks, but it wasn't for a few more hours. He was actually just trying to clean. Apparently his cleaning sponge had caught Johnny's attention, as the mer had swam up and was watching him intently. He kept inching forward, eventually crowding Simon against the glass while reaching for his sponge. "Oi!" He said into his respirator, not that anyone could hear him. He shoved Johnny away and kept trying to cleaning, but the persistent bastard just kept coming back. He could vaguely see the crowd observing them through the glass. They were probably laughing. When he'd had enough, he got an idea. He turned when Johnny got close again and placed one hand on his dorsal fin and the other on the underside of his snout. He began to rub at the sensitive underside of the mer's snout, and just like his sharks, the mer entered a state of tonic immobility. He repositioned Johnny, nose down tail to the surface, Johnny's arms hung limply down past his head. Simon quickly withdrew his hands and watched as the mer continued to float for a bit, before blinking vigorously. He shook his head before righting himself, and slapped his tail into Simon's chest as he practically fled to his little cave at the other end of the tank. When he surfaced later, Gaz informed him that the kids were raving about how cool the 'shark guys' were.

Simon had to admit that Johnny was growing on him. He looked forward to seeing him each day. Johnny began trying to get Simon to swim with him. He'd grab Simon's arms and try to pull him into the water when he was on land, or he'd push Simon away from the glass and his cleaning supplies, towards the open water. Sometimes Simon would indulge him, and the two of them would make laps around the tank.

Simon realized, when Johnny began posturing towards the sharks and getting territorial about him towards them, that Johnny was attempting to court him. Worse, he couldn't bring himself to try and put an end to the behavior either. Johnny was getting touchy, he'd run his hands along Simon's sides or chest, in much the same way Simon would to per his sharks, but it felt different. He would push Simon until he floated horizontally in the water, then drape himself across the man.

Simon knew he was getting himself into some deep shit, but he couldn't help the small voice in the back of his head that urged him to reach out, to cradle the mer's rubbery cheeks in his hands. He wanted to kiss him. He was fucked.

***

I hope you liked it! Ngl, I really liked this one. If you don't mind, I might expand on this and make it a multi-chapter fic over on AO3? I wanna explore more of society's reaction to mers, specifically interspersed relationships and where this could go. Let me know what you think, and thanks for the idea!

[grlpartdoll]

thinking About famous!reader & bodyguard!simon who kind of hates (loves) you hopelessly and, well, maybe you take advantage of it a little bit....

afad!reader, mdni with any of my work pls.

part 2

"simon!"

His obscenely large frame barrels through the door — you think you see wood splinter on the impact of him — his gun cocked and ready to fire.

"Simon!" You shreek again this time because you're terrified of guns, and he knows it.

When he's done a full sweep of the room with his gaze, and notices there's nothing to really worry about — in his standards — he turns his eyes towards you.

"What th'hell s'the matter wit'you, lamb?"

You tiptoe to the edge of the bed, and point a reluctant finger towards the foot of your bed. "Look.. Monnie, there's a spider.." your voice shakes as you explain, making a tiny whine when you see the spider move further out from under the bed.

"For fucks sake.." you don't see him move as his boot stomps on-top of the poor insect, and you make it a point to not watch as he picks it up and throws it out of the opened window.

"Come on." He extends his hand towards you when he's done, and you grimace at it in disgust — acutely aware that the dead spider had been between those fingers a moment ago. "Off." He orders.

You grumble at his angry eyes, the rest hidden beneath the mask, though you're not foolish enough to think the rest of his face isn't /also/ angry, and slowly tiptoe off of your bed.

When he's got you where he wants you, he grasps at your jaw with his clean hand, shaking your head back and forth once or twice.

"Y'not a dumb girl, are you, Bambi?"

You pout at him. "Was scared.."

"There is no reason f'you to be screamin' fo' me like that over a bloody spider. Do not scare me like that again, y'hear me?"

"This s'your job!" You mumble at him, trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he squishes your face harder, forcing your lips to part in a small o.

"My job is t'make sure you don't get a bullet through y'brain, Bambi. Not killin' spiders f'you."

You huff, rendered quiet. "Fine.. G'nna ask Johny next time."

He lets you go, glancing at the door at the reminder of his coworker, as though both of you being so close was unusual. It — truthfully — was not. Many of your fans had fans account for Simon, calling him "your Ghost" and shipped the both of you. There were plenty of photos of you two being a bit too close for it to be casual, and after the video of Simon tackling one of your old stalkers went viral, there was no one that could tell them you two weren't meant to be.

It was all foolish, though. Simon would never... He would never let you interfere with his job. He wasn't the kind of man to get interested in women, even less the girl he was working for.

"Fo'get Johny," he grumbles at you. "He'd laugh him'self sore at ya."

"Better than yr'grumpy butt.."

He clears his throat. Readjusts his belt and grunts quietly. "Finish gettin' ready. We're leaving in five."

"Mmh," you make.

"Words, lamb."

You shoot him a sharp look over your shoulder. "Yes, sir."

He cocks his brow, but doesn't say anything else as he walks off, closing the door behind him.

And maybe. Just maybe. He has to adjust himself in his pants a little bit after that little quip.

[eastbubble]

Was wondering if maybe we could get something with ghost x reader who’s outrageously terrified of thunderstorms and calls him sniffling and holding back tears asking if he can come over and then screaming as a very loud bang of thunder booms ? If not that’s okay! I love your work anyway🩷🫵

hello anon, i’m not sure if you wanted me to write this in a smutty way or just a fluffy one but i tried my best >_< i changed the story up a tad if that’s okay. thanks for the request ! <3 and sorry for disappearing ! school and sports r taking up my time. ><

you never really thought that a relationship had any benefits besides having someone to come home to, but when your relationship with simon began you had to realize that this whole idea in your head was completely wrong. he wasn’t just a person to come home to.

maybe because you two still didn’t live together. so you technically couldn’t come home to him.. but you almost lived at his place by now. he was for sure so tired of you calling him in the middle of the night, asking him to come over because of something so silly, something so stupid. spiders in the corner, ants infesting the house, no wifi, bad tv signal, or the worst (in your case); a thunderstorm.

you were listening to the sounds your phone made as you called simon with shaky hands, your finger on the red circle as you were sure he won’t pick up this time. you’ve annoyed him like this so many times before, there was no way he would be willing to help you after all of these — or so you thought. you kept a tissue to soak your tears up with close to your eyes, your vision already blurry from the crying you had done earlier.

“baby? what’s up?” his voice was tired and grumpy, it sounded like he just woke up, but you knew that couldn’t be because he never really slept before 4 am. he never did. “everything okay over there?” slight concern. the only thing you could make out of his words was some worry and that’s it. thank God that he didn’t sound like he was mad.

“si. ‘m scared.”

“huh? what is it? ‘s someone there?” he spoke through the phone. “talk to me, baby.” his voice was a little gentler once he heard your silence on the other end of the line.

you sighed almost silently, making sure he didn’t hear the sniffle that you just let out. you felt like a dumb little kid for crying over something like this, but when you heard the faint sound of a thunder bang you immediately knew that you had to speak up. you actually had someone that was worried for you, waiting for you to say something. “just this.. fucking rain and the whole, um.. the whole thing that comes with it.”

“the thunderstorm, you mean?” his feeling of relief was louder than the wind outside. it was like some kind of weight had been pushed off his shoulders. “don’t tell me it’s that again or-“

“it is. i’m sorry to disturb you.. especially at this hour, but..” you sighed softly again, feeling slightly threatened by his last sentence. you knew you had no reason to be worried or scared but the way he worded what he wanted to say sometimes sounded like he was mad at you (you were so wrong!). “could you please come over. please.” it didn’t sound like a question, just a request.

he audibly sighed. oh, he was annoyed!

“i’ll be there in 10. i suppose you’re in bed so.. stay under the blankets, okay?” what a rhetorical question. you wouldn’t survive climbing out of bed when it sounds like the world in ending outside. you couldn’t even roll the blinds down to make the thunders less visible, there was absolutely no way you would step foot outside your bed at a time like this.

and just like he promised, ten minutes later he was already entering your home with his own keys, making his way towards your bedroom as he immediately lay on top of you like a weighted blanket that was alive. he wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you close to his chest while you still lay under him, completely motionless as he was practically squeezing every last breath out of you. “si..!”

“i’m here, ‘s okay luv..” he mumbled, his voice raspy as he finally let you go. he rolled onto his back and gently scooped you up into his arms, making you fight back a bit and you two ended up in such a position where you were just laying flat on top of him. he chuckled lightly as he felt like he already succeeded — it seemed like you immediately forgot about the thunderstorm outside as soon as he arrived and grabbed you.

the rest of the night was basically the same thing on repeat. soft little movements, your bodies moving in unison everytime either you or him made the silent suggestion to shift positions. he always kept his large palms close to your ears in case a loud thunder were to interrupt the long cuddle-session. the whole thing was just about holding each other close through the whole night and not letting go.

soft little murmurs of how sleepy you are were the only things to be heard now, alongside the loud sounds of the icy rain hitting your window. well, summerime weather is weird.

[dawnofh]

Hello I hope you day is going well. I don’t know if you do requests but you write 141 so well and I was hoping if you could write a gn reader just going up to the pals and just tagging them and saying tag your it and running away. Please👀.

I don’t really do requests but I loved the idea, thanks. Have an amazing day🫶

Tagging 141 then running away [Headcannon]

Price

“Tag, Captain!! You’re it!!”

As you run away, Price just stares at you, with both disappointment and concern.

His thoughts are, It’s that damn phone again.

Will never entertain your childish behaviour because this is modern warfare not a playground.

However if you tag him and take his bucket hat then he’s suddenly Usain Bolt.

He finna hunt you down.

“You fuckin Muppet, have you lost your bloody mind?!”

Expect to be hit or injured in some way. You’ll be hurt emotionally and physically.

He’s the, ‘I’ll give you something to cry about’ type of parent.

If for some reason he is a parental figure to you, he still won’t entertain your childish behaviour. “Stop it, get some help.”

No matter what he doesn’t give two shits about your dumb game and will simply shake his head trying to figure out when and how he went wrong with you.

Might just pull out a gun or knife on you one of these days, “Tag me again and you’re losing all 5 fingers today.” Please don’t tag him.

Ghost

There is a time and place for everything. I repeat, there is a time and place for everything.

“Tag!! You’re it!!” Simon wouldn’t even react, he would simply watch you run then move on with life.

If Ghost took things personally then Rodolfo would’ve flown through the windscreen for making that mask joke.

Simon would get you back at the worst time, “Lieutenant I’m scared to jump.” You looked down at the cliff, wondering if the water would be able to break your fall. He’d give you that Ghost stare then put a hand on your shoulder and go, “Tag. You’re it.” Before pushing you off.

On a normal basis, just like Price he wouldn’t entertain you nor give you the time of day.

“Lieutenant do you even know what tag is?” You question if this man had a childhood or even had friends. Although he wouldn’t take lightly to the question and just stare to shut you up.

His anger doesn’t show in person so he’ll take it out on you during training, make you run around the base just because he can, “C’mon Soldier, pick up the pace!! I thought you liked running?!!”

Realistically speaking, you actually wouldn’t want to be chased by a 6’4 British man in a skull mask. That’s pure nightmare fuel and would likely give you PTSD for the rest of your life.

Soap

Competitive asf.

“Tag!! You’re it!!” as soon as you run away slowly as a joke you realise Soap actually got up to chase you, “STOP!! I DON’T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE, SERGEANT!!!!!”

Don’t start something you can’t finish.

Soap is hella competitive and takes the game very seriously, there is no place on this base you could possibly run and hide.

Immobilises you to get a win.

‘It’s just a prank, bro.’ energy

“Let’s spice the game up by tagging each other with grenades.” “Sergeant what the fuck-“ “Okay fine…knives.” “Sergeant please-“

Is likely to start initiating the game to which Price disapproves of and shuts it down immediately.

Might even take the game a step further by doing it one time during a mission to which Ghost slaps you both at the back of your heads.

Never does it again but would offer to play hide and seek or the floor is lava at the base, so long as neither of you are caught.

Switches up real quick when Price or Ghost are around, “Y/N. How old are you?”

John was most likely that one kid in school who took tag too seriously therefore tag is now banned at the base.

Gaz

“Tag you’re—“ “IT!!!”

Gaz was that fast kid in school. He’s the one kid no one was able to tag and is an ankle breaker.

Will climb over tables and cars just to tag you back.

Probably is the type to trip you when you’re walking, so be warned when playing tag, this man will two feet you just to get a victory.

You two annoy the shit out of Price. He becomes a human shield when you two insist on running around him just so the other can avoid getting tagged.

You and Gaz will probably go around tagging the entire base and somehow get everyone involved. All fun and games until someone tags Price or Ghost.

Tag with Gaz becomes the extreme hide and seek. He’d quite literally sit in a tree and wait for you to walk pass so he can jump down and tag you. Unlike Soap, he genuinely does take the game as a joke but wants to win.

You two might even be able to convince Price to make tag a training exercise. With some terms and conditions however.

During missions you’d sneakily still play. Except tag in ghillie suits is not ideal and there’s a small chance of tagging the enemy.

Tag but make it sniping, “Tag, dude with the hat is down.” “Tag, guy with the balaclava is down.” “Tag, macho looking man is down.”

“Shut the actual fuck up, Muppets.”

Just like that. Tag is banned again.

[prettytranzboy]

Is okay if i could request a Ghost x male reader? Like reader is Ghost's cute and small househusband and ghost gets back home tired and stress and reader noticed this- you can choose what happens next!

You can also choose what kinks it'll be! Byee!<33

This was not edited at all so I'm sorry for mistakes and error :( but enjoy Anon!!

————————————————————

You and Simon met while you were out shopping and it was like love at first sight. Normally Simon would be brush it cause he didn't time for love but he could get you out of his mind. So once he saw you again, he made his move. After the he proposed to you, you've been dating for 4 years, engaged for 1 and marriage for 10.

You loved him deeply but you knew he would be gone for long periods of time due to his job and he'll usually tell you when he'll be home but untill then you were use to being alone.

You liked the peace in quite when ghost was gone, it was peaceful and you had so much free time throughout the weeks. Each room was clean from top to bottom and you even picked up a few hobbies like gardening and learning how to fight, for the main part you were just a lively person!

You were making dinner with a cute little dark blue apron which match your outfit. You were making Simon's favorite food, Noodles but Vietnamese style. You set the dinner table because you knew he'll be home, you didn't realize that he was home you were startled by arm around your waist and a kiss on the back of your neck. You realized it was Simon,

"Ah!- Simon you scared me!"

He spined you around and kissed your neck more.

"It's daddy to you baby boy…"

"Sim- D-daddy…you can't- your dinner….~"

He cutes you of by bending you over the dinner table and pulling down your pants, and there your wearing….A fucking jock strap.

"Hehehe… You were wait for me, huh? This will make it easier for the both of us, Fuck! I'm to stress to think right now, I need to fuck you~!"

You heard a him take of his pants and then hit the floor, before you spoke you felt a pulsing coke hot dogging your ass, Simon's pulsing cock hot dogging your ass.

"Get ready cause I'm about to fuck up this… ass!"

He shoved his cock inside, so deep its probably in your stomach. Simon starts to thrust into you roughly with his hand is squeezing your hips tightly, this man doesn't know how to soften up.

"Gah! S-s-sloow doown!"

He didn't listen and kept on going, he was going so rough that the table was moving and the soup was long forgotten. You tried to grab on to something to keep you steady but you were slowly going dumb on his cock but before you knew it he grab your wrist and fucked you deeper than before.

You came right then and there yet he kept going.

"No! Noooo… I just-Ah! FuuUuUuck!"

Tear were streaming down your face, you couldn't speak in full sentences anymore, you were overestimated and fuck out. All of a sudden he stopped, you were confused before picking up by your knees. Now your back was against him as he spread your legs to expose your hole, it didn't take him a second before fuck you again.

"That's right bitch cry moan more while you go dumb!"

"Is this your favorite cock baby boy?"

"Yeshhh!!~"

He started to pull out slowly were just the tip was the only thing in, even this is tip he stretched you to your limit. Simon shoved his cock back inside, he didn't this a couple of times before cuming deep inside of you. You though you were done, oh honey this was just the beginning….~

[vic-draws-sometimes]

Sad wet cat

In which Soap takes care of his bf

Ghost hasn't slept in days. They're stuck on base, waiting for the signal to just go on a fucking important mission. They have at least one more week of waiting, and Ghost is actually going feral. He can't sleep, lest he thinks about the ongoing mission and everything that can go wrong, or worst, past missions gone wrong.

And everyone knows it, because he can't stand still. He barely eats his food, yells at anyone dumb enough to talk to him, and he keeps training. Exhausting himself on the bench, then on the treadmill, and when his muscles are trembling he goes to the shooting range and shoots until it's nighttime.

Obviously, Soap is one of the people that first noticed. He tries to spend time with Ghost, ease his mind, but nothing works. Alcohol just makes it worst. He's too worked up to get a boner to have sex. Sleeping is out of the question. He can't focus on a movie. So he just goes about his day and checks up on him once in a while, making sure he eats every day.

One day Soap doesn't see him for breakfast, not unusual, but still concerning. Maybe he finally went to sleep and just didn't wake up? But his room is empty. His office too, and Soap can actually see how much of a mess it is.

So he goes to the gym and sees him running. He decides to let him be. Except he doesn't see him at lunch either, and when he goes to the gym, he sees him on the same machine running like his life depends on it. That can't be good, but maybe he took a break while Johnny was out?

It's only when he comes back in the evening and Ghost is still there, running, that Soap decide enough is enough.

''Ghost'' Soap walks up to him, no answer. Ghost barely acknowledge his presence.

''Ghost!'' Once again, he's ignored.

''Simon!'' the man finally flinches and when he sees Johnny finally stops the machine.

''Don't call me that.'' his voice his rough, out of breathe. But he's still breathing quietly, which is eerie.

''It's your name.'' at that, Ghost shakes his head.

''Simon has been dead for years.'' Johnny can't help but roll his eyes. That bit again... He understands that Ghost is disassociating, but he sounds straight out of a movie.

''You look quite alive to me.'' he says, deadpan and folding his arms. Unsurprisingly, Ghost snaps at him.

''Don't play dumb with me!'' he steps off the machine and Soap steps back, ready for a tackle. But Ghost's legs tremble under his weight. He seems genuinely surprised by that.

''Oh, you're a little weak in the knees? '' Johnny says with a fake baby voice. This only flames Ghost's anger. He tries to grab Soap but he steps out of his range easily.

''You're a bit sloppy too. '' It's almost pitiful to see Ghost, usually so feared, try to attack Soap while he's just standing there. Good thing it's late enough that no one is here. It goes on for a bit until Ghost is angered enough to actually attack him.

''There it is! Time for me to act like I'm actually scared!'' it earns him a disgruntled yell as he starts running, more like jogging to the exit.

They run through the base in a simili game of tag. In which Ghost is out to kill and Johnny is leading him to his own room, where he has the privilege of a personal shower.

''I know what you're doing Johnny and it's not gonna work'' Soap is opening the door to the small bathroom and while he's smiling, he's actually starting to get scared. They're in a small space and he can't really escape anymore.

Out of breathe, but still angry, Ghost corners him on the counter. He grabs his jaw without any kindness and lifts him up, or rather tries to. His arms a weak.

''You are out of line. I could get you discharged for this.'' Johnny is grabbing his arms and feels just how drenched they are from sweating so much.

''You love me too much for this'' he says, cheekily, then pushes Ghost into the shower. It was surprisingly easy. Before Ghost can get up he grabs the shower head and quickly sprays ice cold water on his lieutenant.

It earns him a scream, Ghost putting his arms up to try and shield himself. But Johnny easily shoves them out of the way and spays his head.

Finally, he hears a loud gasp.

''That's it, breathe through it.'' he says gently, still getting his CO nicely covered in cold water. He can finally hear his breathe, taking in all the oxygen he's been depriving himself of. Johnny turns off the shower and for a minute they sit in silence. Ghost doesn't seem to be calming down.

Soap decides then to take off Ghost's shirt, who weakly tries to fight it off. He's trying to tell him something between gasped breathes, but Johnny can't figure it out. When he's in his underwears, mask off, Johnny sprays him in water again. He could feel how hot his skin still was. So he makes sure to spray water in every crease, and pays special attention to his head. He himself is all wet, but he doesn't care.

After a minute he turns it off again, and Simon is finally back to reality. His breathing is back to normal and he seems to finally register his exhaustion.

''I'm sorry...'' Johnny feels a bit guilty when Simon apologizes to him, sitting on the floor of his miniscule shower, drenched to the bone.

''It's okay, you're here now. Let's get you dry. '' he helps him up and dries him with an old towel. He has to help him walk to his bed. He took off his clothes to sleep with him, but Simon stopped him.

''What is it, m'eudail?'' he holds his cheek and Simon leans against it.

''I don't want skin... Please... I don't want to feel my body. '' Oh poor kitten. Or that's what he would've said if he didn't have a death wish. Instead he just agreed and took out clothes for Simon and himself. He got into bed and only once they were all settled Simon tried to fight it.

''I don't want to sleep'' he said weakly, but Johnny held him firmly in his arms. He talks to him in a low voice, a hand in his hair, and against his wishes Simon fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

When he woke up, Johnny was still with him and he felt like absolute shit. His whole body hurt and he was pretty sure he couldn't move. But his mind was calmer than before, and for this day he let his Johnny pamper him. They went walking, watched a movie and spent time with their team.

[the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

Alright folks, I've taken up reading tma again (sorry for the delay, had a bunch of stuff to sort out before) and finally arrived at mag 60! Since I now have a faithful audience of one (1) person that I must disappoint, may I present:

The Magnus Archives but I'm halfway through season 2 (and the confusion somehow got worse)

The episodes are named "MAG[...]" and that's apparently because of "Magnus".

I know, that's pretty obvious. I'm dumb, ok?

There's Michael, he's tall, distorted and HANDsome and I love him.

He kidnaps people and talks about philosophy. What an icon. I'm gay

That (the kidnappings, not me being gay) really annoys the main character. I think he should take another cup of coffee and let Art be.

Speaking of our favourite jalapeno, he entered his paranoid era!

Babygirl is archiving all over the Magnus and spying on his colleagues. What a slay.

Scary Switcheroo Sasha is Not Happy At All about it.

Well, to be honest, nobody is. Except Martin. An absolute gem.

"I am not a who, I'm a what" WERE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME WITH THAT SENTENCE? IT'S SO PHILOSOPHICAL I'M PUTTING THAT ON MY METAPHORICAL YEARBOOK AND EMBROIDERING IT ON EVERY TABLECLOTH I CAN FIND

GERARD KEAY IS BACK HE'S ON HOLIDAY I LOVE HIM.

Simon Fairchild is everywhere who is that man is he dead is he God's servant did he write Ex Altiora?

Same for the Lukas did a guy named Lukas decide to make a plethora of children, give them all his name and raise them in the true ways of evil so that they can keep his legacy alive? Are these all clones determined to make our overpopulated planet experience loneliness?

These two names scare me more than my neighbour, which is impressive. My neighbour is very dreadful.

I can't even see an alliance between the both in my worst nightmares it would be so awful like- oh wait they did it. Nevermind.

Fairchild/ Lukas ship when?

OKAY THIS IS DERIVATING CHANGING TOPIC...UH... MICHAEL. I LOVE MICHAEL. I THINK HIS HALLWAY LOOKS FANCY.

Oh yeah funny thought since both Michael and the door are part of something bigger, does it mean that Helen became part of it too? Will we get Cool Technicolor Helen ?

I Do Not Understand the link between all of these. Is it a plot made by Jürgen Leitner to confuse me?

When does Elias Bouchard reveal his cover and accept his identity of secret weedsmoking hypervillain ?

Agnes the orphanage girl is sus, amirite?

So, yeah, season two started, even more spiders, ceaseless watching, meat, rot, insects, my unending love for Basira (my queen), and the boneturner guy who got a new job where he, well, turns bones. Fascinating!

It's behind you.

So? Anything to tell me that might be useful to know? Am I having any paranormal experience? Any tickets for the next Grifter's bone concert you're willing to share? Who the fuck is the clown grandpa and why does his memory seem to linger on the podcast like duct tape scars on thin paper?

Good luck answering these, you have an hour.

With love (and infinite hate for Jürgen Leitner),

Vik.

[ohbo-ohno]

https://www.tumblr.com/ohbo-ohno/728955236158423040/omgomgomgomggggg-u-mentioned-reader-locked-in-a

Okay I just saw this ask and omg.

The tug of war killed me. Now all I can image though is the boys sneaking a squeaker into the belly of the bear some how so when the reader is really scared and squeezing tight it squeaks?! And the boy immediately turning and saying “aw does puppy want to play?” And reader being so confused but also then starting to associate the squeak with the bear so they get happy when they hear it. The boys teasing the reader because they are just like a real puppy excited about a squeaker, but the reader can’t help it because they have been Pavlov-ed.

Also hear me out them getting reader and bear matching collars? so bear gets leashed in the nest to?!

Also Also the simon and johnny bears in the bad cage?! my heart! so mean but also i wonder how long it would take before the reader ends up using them for comfort in the bad place. (I hope the simon bear is like a halloween skeleton bear… )

Love seeing your responses and writing as always!💕

-🎃

yeah that's seriously one of my favorites, i loved the asks and i loved writing for them.

yeah i was possessed with that tug of war thing. it popped into my head and i felt like God Himself had spoken to me. no one should be at all surprised if it pops up somewhere else in my stuff, just longer and better written

SQUEAKY TOY! SQUEAKY TOY! SQUEAKY TOY! it's only right you have on of your own, when johnny has been biting you to make you squeak since the first time he got his hands on you.

the pavlov of it all omggggggg. them making sure to make you squeak it nice and loud so you associate the sound with your good comfy stuffy, buy also you think chew->squeak->good because they pet you and praise you so nicely. gotta teach the dumb little puppy how to play with her toys :/ it's in the fic i just recommended (here) but i also love the idea of a vibrator attached to a chew toy, so your brain associates chewing with sexual pleasure. a very quick way to get you nice and conditioned

and with the collar - all day yes. what you wear, your stuffy wears (pretty easy since you're mostly naked, but i also present you the image of ghost agonizing over a sewing machine and desperately trying to make a mini version of your cute new outfit). you two are always matching. you wear a collar that matches the stuffy's perfectly, because of course you do! you two have to match!

simon and johnny bears in the bad cage 😔😔😔 they're there to keep you company!!! you get so scared in there all alone, and now you're not! a perfect solution! really, you should thank them.

and of course you start to see them as a comfort. they feel just like your other stuffy when held tight to your chest, it doesn't take long at all for you to start squeezing them close for any speck of comfort when all you can hear are the screams echoing off cement walls. ghost fucking loves watching you snuggle the little stuffed him for comfort. such a clear sign to him that you're giving into him more and more :') anyways yeah johnny bear and simon bear are the only nice things you get in the bad cage

(ghost and soap picked stuffies for each other - ghost is a skeleton bear and johnny is a very doofy looking bear)

[harghoes]

Every time we say goodbye, I say hello again.

pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x reader

warnings: allusions to sex, shouldn’t be explicit but just in case. angst, toxic Ghost

not my gif

No one told you that looking through rose colored glasses makes red flags just flags. What they did tell you, was to stay away from Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley. They all told you he was bad news, he was bad luck, and he was the devil incarnate to enemies. Curiosity got the better of you, of course, and you wormed your way into his heart. From the first moment you spoke to him, you knew that you were in trouble. Ghost isn’t a man of many words, he is reserved around those he knows little about. He grew comfortable around you because you were constantly paired together. Over time he had come to actually enjoy your company. A brief comment here, a casual remark there. It was slow coming, but it was him and you savored every interaction, no matter how small.

Your friendship didn’t evolve into anything until emotions were pouring out of you. The first time he ever saw you cry, he simply turned around and walked out the door. Simon was never one to comfort others, and that wasn’t about to change for you. He kept you an arms length away, never intending to console you, until the day you requested he help you.

“Please, Ghost, make me forget. I don’t want to feel anything.” You see his fingers flex, holding back from grabbing you. Staring into his eyes, you mumble out, “Fuck me dumb.”

He tells you his first name during your first time together. He doesn’t want to be ‘Ghost’ while aiding you, he wants to be Simon. Simon Riley, who wants love so bad with no clue how to maintain it. Yet, that was never in the cards for either of you. Simon wants to be loved, but he doesn’t know how to return it. He doesn’t realize that a lot of his ‘admirable’ traits to the military are warnings to any romantic interest. That was one of the most important happenings of your relationship. It started everything, whether that be a good or bad thing. Ever since, he has seen you cry a thousand times. Happy, sad, all sorts of tears. And you have yet to see a change in his stare.

You were very hesitant to call what you had a relationship. Sure, he would come home to you after each mission, throw you in every position known to man, and then stay with you or take you to breakfast the next morning. He never said he wanted anything more, and you were too scared to bring it up. You knew that you couldn’t come between his first love - his work - but you hoped that one of these days he would realize you were just as important.

Simon Riley is a toxic individual. That’s why everyone told you not to get involved with him. You didn’t know he was bad for you until he started to make promises he wouldn’t keep. He promised he would take you on a real date when he got back from his mission. When he showed up on your doorstep, you were more than excited to go on a date with him. But, he just shoved you inside and kissed you breathless. You weren’t going to bring it up, not when he was here with you. Not when he was making you feel this good.

Coming down from the multiple orgasms, Simon pulled out of you, and you rest on his chest. His mask is back on, his chest rising and falling with his slowing breaths, and his hand is rubbing up and down your arm. You lean up to place a kiss where his neck and shoulder meet and notice him staring at the ceiling. It crosses your mind that he isn’t here with you mentally, but you push that thought away swiftly. He stayed for a while, basking in the love you were showing him, until he decided it was time to leave.

Your eyebrows furrow, this isn’t like him. He will usually stay all night, where’s he going? You sit up, holding the sheets to your chest to question him.

“Got a hot date?” You joke. He turns stiff, but you ignore it. Reaching for him, you ask, “When are you taking me on that date you promised?”

Simon turns to face you before responding with a simple, “I never promised that.” Confusion, fear, and heartache all hit you.

Letting out a quick breath, you sit up straighter. Staring at him, throwing on his shirt, you speak up. “Simon, you promised that before you left on the mission. Don’t you remember?”

He’s still facing away from you. Finally, turning to face you, he says, “What are you talking about?”

Baffled, your mouth opening and closing, he starts to head for the door. His name is yelped from your mouth, voice an octave higher, as you ask him to wait. He stops at the door, turns towards you again, and claims, “I never promised you anything.”

That was just the first time you truly noticed his detachment. It became a constant occurrence for him to leave almost immediately after you two finished. You couldn’t tell him, but you felt like you were dying when he left for what felt like the thousandth time. The pieces were slowly falling together; you knew why he was leaving, you just didn’t want to face it.

The latest time he went to leave, you tried everything in your power to make him stay. To stop the door from closing. Nothing worked, and the door was still shut behind him. At that point, you were exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. This man had started to drain you of your life because he couldn’t learn how to communicate. He would tell you one thing on a certain day, and then the complete opposite on a different day. There was an instance where he talked about the future with you as pillowtalk, and then the next time you brought up the future he spoke about, he immediately shut down the idea. Simon never indulged any secrets to you, not even basic ones. Given his job, that would be fine, but you thought that your relationship had grown to something more than what it was. You thought he might even love you. Boy, were you wrong.

Now, here he is, at your door again, asking to be let in. He just wants a quick goodbye before he leaves for the base again. You’ve finally had enough. Letting him in, you’re ready to give him a piece of your mind.

He goes to kiss you, grabbing your face forcefully, before smashing his lips on yours. Almost succumbing to the blissful kiss, you remember your mission and shove him away. He looks at you confused, but you don’t give an explanation for the shove.

“Why are you here?” You ask sternly.

He lets out a dry laugh at that before responding, “Why am I always here?”

His reply only adds to the growing irritation. Biting the inside of your lip, you think about your next words.

“I can’t do this anymore, Simon. I’m tired,” giving him a second to acknowledge your words, you start again, “You can’t make up your mind! Half the time, you don’t even know what you want from me.”

His posture turns defensive. Great, just what you wanted. A fight with the 6'4” SAS member. His back straightens before he’s retorting, “I know what I want. I want you spread out under me when I need it, and I want your comfort. It’s that easy.”

Tears fill your eyes as he says that. You wish that were the truth, the latter, but the former is all he truly wants and you know it. You glance away before staring straight into his eyes.

“I’ve cried in front of you a thousand times because you love your job more than me. I’ve died a thousand times because you’ve left me longing for you!” You’re so worked up, your hands are flying animatedly. You point a finger at him before starting again, “Simon, for the love of God, we go around and around each other. We get angry or hurt, we jump back in my bed, and I do all this for you because that’s what you do when you love somebody!”

His taken aback look tells you he didn’t know that. After all the many nights together, he hadn’t pieced together that your care for him was because of love. He’s wasted it. There’s no more love to give him, now. He’s drained it all from your heart.

Tears flowing down your cheeks, you tell him, “All of your red flags, I looked past them! I never pushed and prodded, I let things go.” Gesturing forcefully, you repeat, “Because that’s what you do when you love somebody. You try to make things work.”

The silence is deafening. The blood rushing in your ears is loud enough that you can barely hear your ragged breathing. Stepping back towards the front door, you open it before muttering, “I think it’s best if you go.”

He hesitates for the longest time, before trying to reach out to you. He starts to murmur your name, but when you jerk away from his hand he stops. Restating your words from before, he’s standing on your front porch as you slam the door behind him.

You should’ve seen this coming. Everyone told you Simon Riley was bad news. What they didn’t know was that he was a bad omen, too.

[bcolfanfic]

PLEASE CONTINUE THE SIDE B POLY HCS IM BEGGING !! i’m obsessed with them your honour, they’re all the lomls

gonna pick up literally right where we left off. they’re the lomls too <3

- obvious helen goes right upstairs to check on her. breaks her heart when she realizes that a) the room she took off into was the master bedroom and b) the poor girl is hysterical.

- jeanie has been bottling up all these new feelings for so long and that fight with ev just made it allllll boil over.

- misses croz so much it makes her physically ache. would do anything anything anything for him to be alive and to have their old life back. still wakes up screaming imagining him alone and scared in the fucking woods when he did what he did.

- baby simon was little but not so little that he wasn’t so horribly confused when daddy was just gone. poor little love. for a while he sobbed himself sick when ev held him because yeah he was tall with facial hair but. he wasn’t daddy. wasn’t the tall guy with facial hair that was just holding him a week ago, where’d he go??? when’s he coming back???

- but going back isn’t possible. croz as dead as dead and she’s been living with ev and helen and all their kids and helen loves her to death that was never a question. but now when she looks at ev she sees something different that makes her feel ill with guilt. and even feeling ill about it doesn’t make it go away <\3

- helen gets her at least calmed down out of hysterical panic attack mode. sitting so close to her she’s almost in her lap wiping her face with a tissue herself being so gentle begging her to talk to her.

- “really wish i could read your mind but i’ll be honest, i can’t. which means you gotta tell me what’s going on, hm?”

- jeanie is still just so quiet and sniffly and i mean very fucking fair because where do you even start.

- finally says something to the effect of “helen i can’t be here, it’s not- it’s not fair to you ev is okay with us but i can’t steal your husband. don’t think being in this house is doing anything but making everyone confused,”

- helen knows what she means but kinda plays dumb for a second and is like. do you mean the kids or do you mean you? still all gentle soft voice tucking her hair behind her ear.

- helen and ev have had a few very small conversations about everything but. ev has been cagey about it bc he doesn’t really know what to do with all this either. good thing they both have helen <3

- jeanie just kinda looks at her all sad and says she doesn’t know.

- “doesn’t have to be confusing if we don’t make it confusing” vs “hel you’re being ridiculous, ‘s not- it’s not right we can’t- it’s bad enough that you and me- it wouldn’t work the way you’re thinking it would.”

- but ughaaaa. helen just looks at her with those big eyes that made nash, ev and jeanie love her so much. no one has the heart to say no to that face.

- don’t know if we don’t try, we can try at least can’t we? doesn’t mean we have to keep trying if it’s not working,

- jeanie and ev table talking about everything the two/three of them until the next day but. jeanie ends up in bed with them at night anyways. let’s helen really kiss her in front of ev (ev never wanted to freak her out before so outside of just like casual smooch here and there during the day he stayed out of what her and helen did alone) for the first time. let’s helen make her feel good and let’s ev stroke her hair and kiss her forehead telling her she looks so pretty like this and well. that’s how the ‘trying’ of it all’ starts.

[nrdmssgs]

Child Game

Riot belongs to @gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot Zhar is my girl from A heart full of pity

Masterlist (with more Riot stuff) This is an AU, I guess, because Riot actually didn't have DnD amongst her other hobbies in original story. This happens in the future, long after Darker matters and ongoing series about Riot.

A.N. This is a one shot about great friends. Good friends comfort you. Great friends help you deal with some demons. Thank you for letting me be ugly and angry and sad and disappointed and still being out there. Warning: this is the most inaccurate description of DnD, because I never played it.

"C`mon, didn't you have fun back in Tul- ehm, Tulski ob-" Riot stumbled once again, trying to pronounce the name of the place where Olga was born and raised.

"It's just Tula, love. The city of sweets and guns*. And of course we had many different games. Like 'Zarnitza' or 'the sheet lightning', where 20-40 kids in 2 teams practically imitate an infiltration operation and fight for a flag. But without guns, and with a little less blood spilled." As Zhar walks, she unfastens and takes off her helmet. A shock of hair immediately falls on her face, and she doesn’t have time to see Christine’s face. However, she is quite sure, she scared or grossed her friend out.

But she has yet much to learn about Riot. Because in a few seconds, Olga hears her enthusiastic voice.

"My fucking god, how lucky you are. The most fun thing, I got to do with my friends was playing DnD! Not that I'm complaining, it was fun and everything..." Christine goes silent, noticing, how drastically Olgas face changed after her last words.

"You've been playing DnD?" Zhar asks with a tone of someone, who has just overheard, Riot was eating lobsters on a daily basis back in her teenage years.

Although at first Christine doesn't understand her friend's excitement about that - she very soon learns, Zhar always dreamed of trying to play DnD, but never had a chance.

"I mean, with Nikolai, every day turns into a little campaign with a teammate, who always rolls persuasion to 20, even when you don't need that. But I kinda sometimes wish, there was a dragon to slay..." Zhar murmurs, almost just to herself, as they both reach the base barracks and head into a store department, to hand over their weapons.

It never actually escapes Christine. This enigma coming from another world, raised on unkind children games, is actually dreaming of sharing some quiet cozy moments. That fascinates Riot, so she proceeds with a proposal.

"How about a game?"

Olga freezes for a moment, smiles to her thoughts, and continues getting out of her gear.

"Love, I've grown too old for that. Seen so much drama, I don't believe, a round of DnD could awaken anything in me now." Zhar hopes to sweep the topic under the carpet. But once Christine got an idea - she doesn't let it go so easily.

"Drama, you say? Be careful what you wish for, Lieutenant, you may receive it." When Riot wanted it - she could say anything in a plain tone, that given none of her intentions or emotions. But right now her voice is full of playful menace and mischief.

***

Zhar didn't believe, it was possible in the first place. Yet here they sat with Riot, Soap, Gaz and even Ghost around the desk. Two and a half hours of a game session, that started with so many laughs, Olga teared up multiple times. At first Ghost was hesitant to join, but when Kyle said 'wait guys, I think, I have a plan, dumb af, but it's gonna be hilarious' and Johnny and Olga grinned in approval for the third time in a row, Simon lost his last remains of patience.

"I know, I missed the opportunity to start together with them, but may I please save these three miserable fiddleheads?" He towers over Riot as she silently passes a character list, she filled specifically for Ghost, knowing for sure, he will join sooner or later. And so the party is formed.

Two and a half hours of laughs, surprises, fictional brawls, heroism and recklessness.

The first one, they lose in the final fight, is Johnny's character. As a Dungeon Master, Christine sees, the guy had it coming as he was too concentrated on keeping his familiar safe and forgot about the team. But she does not advertise her observations, keeping them until the end of the game so as not to spoil the moment.

Then it's Kyle's character turn. And he meets the same fate. Riot tries to not describe death of his character too colorful, but she still notices, how Zhar clutches a pen in her hands until her knuckles turn white.

Well, someone wanted drama.

"Simon, turn and run, now! Out of all of us only you did something actually useful for the party. Let's save at least your character! I can hold that thing for some time." Olga points to the stapler, that Christine used to portray the final boss.

"With a holy prayer, that doesn't do shit or with one of many bottles of rum, you stashed?" Ghost smirks.

Zhar tries many things, to save her last party member in game: from persuasion to intimidation and brute force. But Simon looks Christine in the eyes and says three words quietly.

Bring. It. On.

As Riot helps them picture the last minutes of Ghosts character, Olga hides face behind her character sheet. One doesn't need many details to imagine someone's death, when they have military background.

"So, that's it? I guess, next turn of the monster would be to end my cleric? I think, I'm supposed to pray then for the sake of roleplay." Zhar pats Ghosts shoulder apologetically.

Christine doesn't interrupt, letting Zhar come up with some kind of speech imitating a prayer. Only when Gaz stands from his place and hugs Olga from behind, helping her to calm down and collect herself, Riot makes a remark, that they are not yet done.

"The creature hears your prayer and freezes. It hates every word, you drop, yet it can't ignore you. You see, many hundreds of years ago, this creature was sworn to protect one of the temples dedicated to the deity you just prayed to. However, a terrible war razed that temple to the ground. Since then, the creature has made a new oath: it will give a precious artifact, gifted to it by the creator, to the first cleric it meets."

Christine takes an apple out of the bag, she brought with her, and places it on the desk before Zhar.

"This artifact, 'the fruit of eternity' was made to bring one soul to new life. Among its many known and even more yet undiscovered traits one may interest you especially, my godly friend..."

"Wait, you don't..." Olga starts suspecting something, but Christine goes on.

"When fed to a recently fallen being, it can bring them back to life. However, the fruit of infinity cannot be divided into parts. You either eat it completely or don’t touch it at all. This is, of course, unless you decide to refuse the gift and accept death from the claws of the creature bending over you."

A tense silence hangs in the room. The others look at Zhar, and she keeps her eyes fixed on the apple.

“But I... I can’t choose just one, knowing that the others won’t come back.” She smiles, yet her voice is barely audible.

Gaz feels, It's not about not being able to play like that again - they were already told, they can always come up with new characters. It's more about Lieutenant nature kicking in: protect your people at all costs, or die trying. And Olga can play an alcoholic cleric for forever, but at the end of the day - Lt is her very core.

"C`mon, its obvious: give it to Ghosts knight and you two will maybe manage to escape. Great game, good old Lts are free to-"

"Are you fucking kidding me? I`m not going back there, you better give it to Soap or his... how is it called, again?" Simon cuts Kyle out, but speaks friendly and sounds relaxed.

Apparently, Soap too has his thoughts on this topic, which he hastens to share. And now three men are arguing loudly, not paying attention to the girls.

"Many undiscovered traits, you say? And what exactly happens, when someone, who is yet alive, eats it?" It seems like a few years by Nikolai's side, taught Zhar to bargain at every opportunity.

Christine hooks her fingers at the top edge of the mask and lowers it, flashing a predatory smile for a moment. "New life. New benefits. New skills. New... perspective on the whole world."

Olga looks up at the men, still arguing. "They are so skilled, so clever, you know? Even in this game they actually did something, they fought, while my character just... drank excessively and cast a pair of blessings. And they all have hearts of gold. I don't think, I'll ever be able to become as good as them."

Christine just watches her, enjoying every second of guys coming to some arrangements and Olga clearly formulating some plan.

"Well, if my cleric can never become as good as them..." Zhar takes an Apple and brings it to her lips. "She`ll become so much worse."

[hamartia-grander]

what if markus went back to look for simons body among the wreckage of other destroyed androids, found him, and gave him a new heart.

and it worked. simon lived again.

Are you in my Google docs??? Do you read my WIPS when I'm not looking???? bc I'm literally writing a fic like this KDHDJSH

It honestly could work. I mean they're not like humans where if they don't have blood pumping after a certain amount of time their brains die. They can be reactivated at any time, so who's to say this isn't possible?

And since you accidentally guessed so closely to my fic, I'll give you a brief outline, as a treat: (summarised directly from my draft)

So in my fic, once the initial battle of the revolution is won, Markus retrieves Simon's body and has a brand new heart made for him. Markus keeps Simon's old heart instead of getting a newer one for himself because 1. Simon sacrificed himself so Markus could live, and 2. Markus is in love and sentimental as fuck. But a little while later, the revolution is still going on because no freedom fight is won in a day, and the heart Simon gave Markus starts to malfunction due to its age, but he doesn't tell anyone because he doesn't want to give up Simon's heart. But Simon figures it out - he notices when Markus unexpectedly slows down or zones out, when his breathing is heavier than usual as his systems work overtime to cool him. Simon sees how Markus’s strength fades at times, and Markus tries to hide it, but Simon knows him too well. He tells Markus to get rid of the heart, get a new one, a better and stronger one that won’t die on him. Markus evades, he promises he’ll get a new heart but never specifies when. He knows he should, and he knows holding onto a faulty biocomponent on mere sentiment is illogical, but so are most emotions. So he keeps procrastinating, not taking it as seriously as he should. Then one day, the heart fails him at the worst moment, and he dies on a battlefield before Simon can get to him.

Of course, he lives, because I don’t do angst without a happy ending. But Simon is furious, and scared. And it takes a while to find a new heart for Markus; everyone’s too busy with the war effort to make enough thirium regulators, and so many deviants need hearts and other various biocomponents. But Simon doesn’t give up; he’s determined, and a bit desperate, and he finally just goes straight to Kamski, and begs him to make Markus a new heart, promises anything. He’s surprised to discover that Kamski genuinely wants to help, with no strings attached and no trade off necessary. Simon doesn’t entirely trust him, but Chloe seems to, and at least he knows Markus was Kamski’s one-of-a-kind creation, so maybe that’s why he wants to help. Whatever the reason, Simon accepts his help, and Kamski builds Markus a brand new heart.

When Markus wakes up, Simon scolds him for being stupid, but they’re both just relieved it worked and Markus is okay. Simon is like “why the fuck would you do that” and Markus admits he wanted to keep Simon’s heart for as long as he could. Simon can’t stay mad at him for that, because he knows he would’ve done the same thing. Markus admits he’s sad to be without Simon’s heart again, and gets the idea that they should switch, so they can have each other’s hearts. Simon argues against it, because Markus’s new heart is so advanced and efficient even compared to Simon’s newer heart, and that wouldn’t be fair. But Markus is insistent, and promises that next time his heart begins to fail (if it does) he’ll get a new one, and then he and Simon can switch again. That way they’ll always have each other’s hearts, metaphorically and literally. Simon knows it’s dumb, but it’s okay, because he is a morosexual and Markus is the deviants’ number one himbo.

[mermaidsirennikita]

What historical romance novels give you beachy/summer vibes?

Gooood question!

Of course, there's Secrets of a Summer Night by Lisa Kleypas. Conveniently the gateway to the Wallflowers series. I need to reread this one, but it's honestly quite good, if overshadowed by the next couple books in the series. There's the girl gang formation, the "rich self-made rough man/snotty poor girl" pairing, the Indecent Proposal of it all, the subtle foot fetish Simon Hunt absolutely has (what are you doing with those boots, Simon; what are you doing; why are you touching her feet). I also remember really liking the little honeymoon trip they take? It's good if you haven't read it yet (and if you can secure a paperback of the original copy before Lisa edited it... do that, the edits are so dumb, this book does not have any serious dubcon). Also, I feel like the scene where the girls play rounders in their underwear in the woods is SOOOO summery, especially when Westcliff shows up and falls completely in hate love with Lillian IMMEDIATELY.

Joanna Shupe's Fifth Avenue Rebels begins with The Heiress Hunt, which takes place largely at a house party in Newport. It's basically a Gilded Age beach trip, with friends, hookups, secrets, tennis. The next book, The Lady Gets Lucky, begins with an overlapping timeline at the house party, then moves back to NYC. The Bride Goes Rogue takes place almost entirely in NYC with a brief interlude in the Catskills, I think? But I'd still read it next because this series is best if read in order (though every book is technically a standalone) and it's EXCELLENT. Then the last book, The Duke Gets Even, goes alllll the way back to the house party and reveals things, and the leads literally meet while he's doing laps in the ocean and she's skinny dipping. There's a huge water motif in that one. A wetness motif, if you will.

I'm not 100% sure why, but I'm really feeling this vibe for Scoundrel of My Heart by Lorraine Heath, an excellent book--I belieeeve the leads fuck on the beach.

Dearest Rogue by Elizabeth Hoyt takes place over the course of a road trip, essentially, when someone attempts to kidnap the heroine (who is blind, as a side note) and the hero, her bodyguard, has to spirit her away. Road trips often give me summer vibes, but they also do go to the sea at one point, and, yes, fuck on the beach.

The Hawk by Monica McCarty is a medieval you should check out--it's less "beach" versus the sea (though I believe there is at least one scene on a beach) and admittedly this shit takes place in Scotland and Ireland so like, what is summer, but the ocean stuff is so intense and it's so fun. The hero is like, a pirate but also a Scottish lord. At one point they fuck on a raft in the middle of a storm because she's scared and how else can she calm down???

The Duke in Question by Amalie Howard is such a fun ROMP of a book!!! And it begins largely on what is basically a cruise ship, which is why I recommend it. The heroine is like, an intrepid spy, and the hero is a spy too AND her brother's close friend, and they begin this game of cat and mouse. He takes her virginity while she's bent over and braced against a tree because he doesn't realize she's a virgin and she wants it SOOOO bad? And later he finds a handkerchief she used to clean up with her VIRGIN'S BLOOD and is like "OH MY GOD???? I DID THAT????" And then they go back on the ship and fuck some more. So fun.

A Daring Pursuit by Kate Bateman gives me summer vibes. Not 100% sure why, but they do a lot of sexy stuff like.... outdoors. At one point they fuck doggy style in the woods after a near bear attack. It's lots of fun, and so is A Wicked Game, the next book in the series, which may give you a similar vibe.

Tessa Dare's Spindle Cove series gives me serious summer vibes. It's basically set in this little vacation town by the water. The first book in the series has a "near sex while swimming" moment as well. When a Scot Ties the Knot also gives me summer vibes, but that may be because the English heroine going to Scotland gives vacation and because she's trying to sketch her pet lobsters as they fuck through the whole book, so I'm thinking.... water?

Ravished by Amanda Quick is a classic wherein the hero and heroine get stuck in a cave while water is rising (there's treasure involved, it's a lot) and he's like "well, I'm gonna have to marry you since we're spending the night in this cave, so we might as well fuck now". Fucks her right there in the beach cave.

A Rogue's Rules for Seduction by Eva Leigh is super summery to me! Hero left heroine at the altar a year before so they're angsty exes. Their friends and family basically trick them both into coming to this party on an island, and they're stuck there and have to talk it out. There's a hot moment on the beach. Not on the beach, he does in fact eat her ass. They're switches. It's great!

The Rakess by Scarlett Peckham begins with the heroine (a famous rakess) taking a sort of sabbatical to write her memoirs, and it's kinda giving eat pray love except she's just in this one small town (beachy?) area, and also she's way too messy to just have a normal eat pray love time. The heroine meets the hero, this widower single father, and sets out to seduce him. It's good and kinda subversive.

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris and An Island Princes Starts a Scandal by Adriana Herrera give girls' trip to me--the heroines are from what is now the Dominican Republic and have traveled to Paris. The first book has the rum heiress heroine entering into a marriage of convenience with a hot Scottish whiskey guy and getting fingered on the Eiffel Tower, while the second book is a sapphic romance with the the younger heroine getting entangled in this vampy older woman who wants her land and will do A N Y T H I N G to get it. Both are super good and super hot.

Something Fabulous and Something Spectacular by Alexis Hall give me summery vibes for some reason. It could be because they're just so fucking funny and zany, but this shit can't possibly happen during the winter...? The first book is a m/m roadtrip romance wherein this cold duke has to enlist his fiancee's twin brother to help him find said fiancee after she flees following his proposal. It's so funny, so entertaining, so good. The second book is a nb/nb romance with a genderfluid lead whose former lover enlists her help in getting the attention of a famous, sexy castrato soprano the former lover is into... But the soprano is more into our lead than her lover.

The Palace of Rogues series by Julie Anne Long is one series that just gives me summer vibes? The series takes place at a boarding house, so each book is about different guests (well, technically the first two books are about the owners of the boarding house, but still). It gives vacation-y romcom to me. The next book coming out, How to Tame a Wild Rogue (drops 7/25) has a pirate-y hero and a big thunderstorm keeping everyone stuck inside, which feels especially summery.

What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long also feels very summery to me, as a house party book. My favorite JAL. The hero is pushing 40 and decides to ruin this twenty year old virgin as revenge for her brother cucking him. She immediately catches on, but is using him to try to make this other guy jealous. It's so good. There's dry humping on a bench!!!

The Wrong Marquess by Vivienne Lorret has, again, a lot of stuff happening with people packed together in a house (as well as a very good sex scene that's water/waterfall-adjacent). I think there's a scene at a zoo, too? It's light and fun with just enough looooonging. The hero is the older brother of the heroine's new best friend, and he initially dislikes and is super rude to the heroine, which she believes herself in love with her childhood best friend (who's a duke). The moment when the hero realizes he's fucking obsessed with this girl... The yearning is INTENSE.

Never Seduce a Duke by Vivienne Lorret (same series actually, doesn't follow directly after but is about the above hero's sister) is a crazy fucking book that I love so much. It's very summery to me because the heroine is giving this last hurrah before she's officially a spinster and done with the season thing, and she's traveling Europe with these two spinster aunt types. She meets the hero, he thinks she's stolen an ancient cookbook from him (yes) he follows her through Europe, the flirting is intense, and....... well. Actions. Have. Consequences. It's SO good.

A Rogue by Any Other Name by Sarah MacLean gives me summer vibes, too; it's a roadtrip romance, it's wacky, it's sexy, the hero is an absolute rake and eats the heroine out in a moving carriage...

[allycat75]

Aren't you tired, Boston Dumb Fuck? I know we are!

As someone who is on record as not liking to be manipulated, aren't you tired as a perpetrator of it? Of all the lies and machinations? Let's just take a little look at the last few months, shall we. This is a bit long, but you have been busy and getting no where. In fact, further than no where (cue Paul Simon's "Slip Sliding Away"). And I recognize this may not be under your control, but you signed on the dotted line so you hold ultimate accountability. If you don't like what is happening in your name, you are a grown ass man with agency, regardless of what that contract says. There is always a way.

First, bravo for pretending to be married to a racist, antisemetic, fatshaming Lolita. Something I never thought someone who really loved love or was a good upstanding citizen with integrity would ever do, but you never cease to surprise me.

Then, creating the illusion of two ceremonies- the "East Coast" one (was it your house in MA, Cape Cod, somewhere in New York, your cursed place in Vermont?) with a random smattering of work friends who were in the area for other commitments (and had projects to promote but couldn't because of the strike) and your clout chasers who needed to boost their followers, all on your niece's birthday, I think (way to be a super user uncle- was all the prep for her party good cover for you? I am sure she appreciated your care and attention). Then the "Portugal" ceremony ("let's go Portugal") which only seemed to prove some of your family and friends got a free trip to Portugal at some point this summer.

But what we didn't get were sighting of you and the little wifey, not even puttering around town making preperations, or getting coffee at a local cafe. Were no phones working in either location? They couldn't give a shit about her, that I get, but I am sure a few people would have recognized you, even in your current sorry state, and at least done that thing where you pretend to take a picture of something else and catch you in the background (see "funeral dinner" below), and posted it in real time.

Seeming to be everywhere and nowhere, strategically planting anachronistic and ambiguously located photos on "random" people's SM. Or the blurry, Ghost Hunter-quality photos of people that could be fake, you and/or Fish Mouth or the image of your soul slowly leaking out of your body.

Like the one where you look healthy one day (and your bride looks exactly like she did in one of your lame-ass scare videos from years ago when you see her in the reflection in your glasses), then magically, two days later, you look like absolute shit. As if you are having a Mitch McConnell-like seizure!

But my favorite has to be the funeral dinner with Scarlet, Colin, Stanley and Fish Mouth, that was taken months ago (you looked much less sickly then). Interesting how the poster, for some reason, made her account public then made it private again once the damage was done. Colin looks like he just loves you and how you are using his wife so this talentless twit can get ahead. Awesome how you put one of your best friends in this awkward position!

The only seemingly legitimate sighting we got was on the plane where you didn't even sit together. Even stranger because you rarely fly commercial these days- I wonder why this time was different? We find her non-posing, feigning interest in something the stranger next to her is saying while someone in the aisle obviously takes her picture. Girl's not famous in any country- no way some rando traveler is just going to recognize her and stop the flow of passengers to take a photo. Then there was the ghost bag Fish Mouth was pulling. My theory is we thwarted a bad photoshop of you holding her hand, BDF, because you still don't want to touch her. Ah, true love!

(Side note- you do know you are paying for all this set-up and clean-up, by the way. Megan isn't doing a bad job out of the goodness of her heart).

Forget that this "marriage" and globe hoping could get you and the wifey into a heap of trouble with immigration, but you are a famous, rich, white man and she is an arrogant, entitle brat who seems to be able to pitch a tantrum until she gets what she wants so I am sure you will be fine. No need for introspection on how your decisions have consquenses. Sounds like bliss to me!

PS- don't give your crack (like the drug, not the compliment) team any ideas. One of the reasons I did this rundown was to show how absurd this all is. There is no amount of "proof" that could make your lies true at this point, so save the billable hours for your next crisis. We've seen the show and all its sequels and we are not buying tickets because it sucked from the very start. Don't insult our intelligence!