#ev x helen x jeanie

[bcolfanfic]

⁶⁾ foreheads pressed together as the kiss breaks, eyes guilty but so so full of want

for helen/ev/jeanie pls :))

i couldn't figure out a way to fully tie this in without it feeling too Establishing Exposition but this takes place when jeanie has been staying with them for a few months- and at this point her and helen were already involved again/she was sleeping in bed with her and ev consistently. just hadn't kissed the man yet :* also helen knew this was coming lmao she tells ev later that jean had asked her about being physical with him a few days prior

if you're new to this au, this is "side b" of the young veterans au where croz died by suicide, and ev and helen moved jeanie and their kids in with them in the wake of that.

---

"You mind company?"

The wood beneath his feet creaked as Blakely stepped into the dark, Jean looking up at the interruption. She scooted over some on the bench swing and unfurled her arm from the blanket she had around her shoulders to pat the empty spot next to her.

He figured she'd been out here for a bit, having half asleep heard Helen's side of the bed creaking when he was struggling to fall asleep himself.

Sitting down next to her on the bench seat he didn't say anything at first, pressing one foot into the ground to make the swing move just a little. He heard a faint, tired laugh escape from Jean at the motion, looking at her out of the corner of his eye as he sat back.

It remained the only noise besides a stray cricket chirp for a few minutes longer, Jean's voice hesitant when she did cut through the silence.

"Do you think there’s something after this- on the other side?"

Blakley let out a slow breath, one hand fidgeting in his lap, fingers curling and uncurling against his thigh.

"I try to," he said, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth before he continued. "More comforting that way. To think they’re somewhere doin’ okay."

Jean's face was unreadable in the dark, but he could see her twisting the band on her ring finger. He swallowed, looking away when it crossed his mind he'd been staring at her hands.

“You ever talk to them?”

When he looked at her out of the corner of his eye there was a small smile on her face, eyes watching him, cautiously. He could see it all over her that she was worried about him, a feeling he wasn't sure how to sit with.

"Sometimes," he admitted, rocking the swing a bit again as he talked. "Think Nash got sick of me talkin’ to him, back when Helen and I first, you know." He continued with a gesture in the direction of the house.

"At one point, I could almost hear him telling me," Blakely kept on with a dry chuckle. "‘Jesus, shut up, Blakely. Let me rest.'"

Jean let out a soft laugh so quick he almost missed it. Her hand stilled on the ring, thumb brushing against the diamond. "I think he’d be alright with it," she said. "You take good care of her, of Wyatt."

"Did you come out here to talk to Croz?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes drifting to the yard in front of them.

"I get so scared he’s out there, wherever he is, worrying away." She said, punctuated by a shaky breath. "Told him he doesn’t need to do that. But if he’s somewhere where he can see us, I guess I wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know."

Blakely nodded along.

"What’d you tell him?"

Jean sighed, leaning back against the swing, still not looking at him. "That we’re doing okay. Me, the kids. That you and Helen are making sure we’re okay."

She cut off, opening her mouth like there was something else- but hesitating and closing it.

"That it?" he asked softly, prepared for the look she gave him out of the corner of her eye.

He suddenly felt more aware of how close they were, the hesitancy that was radiating off of her making roots in his throat.

"Nothing I think really came as a surprise, if he can see us," she went on, her voice growing quieter with every word. "He knew me and Helen were- involved, before." She trailed off, her teeth catching her lip again. "Don't think he needs that much broken down for him."

Blakely's throat felt tight, guilt settling into his gut like a led weight as the thought of what about me ran across his mind with a veracity that made his head throb.

He wasn't sure he'd ever felt so selfish in his life.

"Jeanie, listen,"

"Ev,"

They both stopped, looking at each other for a beat before a nervous laugh escaped them at the same time too. It felt like a lid had been pulled off the pressure cooker the backyard had morphed into when he saw the way her eyes crinkled as she smiled, shaking her head at nothing.

Blakely figured he should say something- but she beat him to it again.

He almost startled when he blinked and felt one of Jean's hands against his skin- blood rushing to his ears as her thumb traced the curve of his cheek.

Eyes flitting over his face, he was cognizant of the abrupt stop they came to when they reached her mouth.

I really hope she gave you a heads up about this he thought to the other side, and leaned in as she kissed him.

Her hand slipped from his face to the back of his neck to tug him closer, and he reached for her instinctively, feeling his forehead bump against hers. His chest tightened and he kissed her through it until he sensed her stop, hand still on the back of his neck as she breathed heavy into his mouth.

She squeezed her eyes shut and back open as the moment passed and he could see the guilt washing over her in real time.

"Jeanie," He started, swiping a tongue over his bottom lip- voice sounding foreign in his own ears.

A soft creak sounded from the porch door before she could respond, and they both jolted apart like they'd been shocked.

Which all things considered, was silly.

Helen was standing there with her own blanket around her shoulders, and he got the sense she'd been there for longer than she was letting on. She leaned casually against the doorframe, her gaze flicking between them both with a quiet amusement that he wasn’t sure how to interpret.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked gently, punctuated by a soft laugh.

Blakely opened and closed his mouth wordlessly as his face burned, Jean scratching the back of her neck, giving a so-so motion with her other hand.

"You two," Helen said with an affectionate head shake, wrapping her blanket tighter around her. "Too late to do this out here, come back to bed."

Letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding; he felt like he needed to rally some to push himself off the bench even so.

Jean was already to Helen by the time he managed to get up, the two of them backlit by the kitchen light he figured she must've turned on when she came downstairs. When Jean leaned into her side Helen pulled her closer, hand cupping the back of her head to press a kiss to her hair.

He walked slow, cracking his knuckles with a glance back at the sky covering the yard.

They could talk tomorrow.

[bcolfanfic]

could we hear more about side b poly ev/helen/jean

ohohoh you sure can!!!

el dorado is side a and the lil helen jamie scene i posted is referencing some stuff happening when helen was staying with her after nash died and croz cheated. but ah. side b.

- croz ): god. my heart. sweet boy. you shoulda called someone. your girl and your beautiful kids needed you ):

- after the funeral ev and helen more or less move jeanie and the kids into their house

- it’s supposed to be temporary, they just don’t want her to be her alone. her family and croz’s folks are both unsupportive. their kids get along and *they* love her so. it’ll be good. temporarily. (:

- except they play real fast and loose with temporary and 6 months go by and she’s still there and sleeping in their bed more frequently and nothing *happens* but her being in there safe with them just makes sense.

- side b helen and jeanie have the same history they do in side a so i think shit happens between them first. and it’s not something anyone really blinks much about. they’re best friends. it was comforting when it was helen with the dead husband. ev certainly doesn’t care.

- but ev. ev ev ev. ev, who has more or less been parenting the crosby kids the last almost year. ev, who holds little baby simon and prays that he remembers his dad’s face. ev who sits up with jj and rebecca when they can’t sleep and tells them stories about croz and sleeps on the floor when april is scared of the dark.

- ev who hasn’t ever been hesitant to kiss jeanie on the head when she’s having a bad day with everything and tell her she’s a good mom. tell her that croz would be so proud of her and that /he’s/ proud of her.

- of course she falls in love with him. who wouldn’t.

- but realizing that obviously scares the shit out of her and there’s a whole lot of projection bickering for a minute.

- snaps at him for disciplining rebecca telling him she’s not /his/ child and that maybe he’s getting his role here confused. but he kinda snaps back and is like if the kids are under my roof, i’m gonna do what croz would when they’re acting out. you’re welcome to leave if you don’t like it!

- he’s projecting from a place of Feeling things too <\3

- jeanie snaps back all ohhh so you’re kicking me out, i’m so sorry for interrupting your PERFECT little life with your wife. you two can get back to what you were doing then and i’ll go.

- starts getting choked up which breaks ev’s heart because he’s like ): i don’t want you to leave if you don’t want to leave. but you’ve been at my throat lately and you gotta be honest about where this is coming from. if you live here, we communicate like adults.

- and she gets spooked and bolts upstairs <\3

- helen coming back from the store just in time to hear the bedroom door slam: 😁😄😀😧 ?????

- is immediately ev what did you do and he’s like ???!? throws his hands up all hell if i know! (you do know ev lmao you also need to communicate)

this is getting long but i can continue in another post if ppl are interested !

[bcolfanfic]

PLEASE CONTINUE THE SIDE B POLY HCS IM BEGGING !! i’m obsessed with them your honour, they’re all the lomls

gonna pick up literally right where we left off. they’re the lomls too <3

- obvious helen goes right upstairs to check on her. breaks her heart when she realizes that a) the room she took off into was the master bedroom and b) the poor girl is hysterical.

- jeanie has been bottling up all these new feelings for so long and that fight with ev just made it allllll boil over.

- misses croz so much it makes her physically ache. would do anything anything anything for him to be alive and to have their old life back. still wakes up screaming imagining him alone and scared in the fucking woods when he did what he did.

- baby simon was little but not so little that he wasn’t so horribly confused when daddy was just gone. poor little love. for a while he sobbed himself sick when ev held him because yeah he was tall with facial hair but. he wasn’t daddy. wasn’t the tall guy with facial hair that was just holding him a week ago, where’d he go??? when’s he coming back???

- but going back isn’t possible. croz as dead as dead and she’s been living with ev and helen and all their kids and helen loves her to death that was never a question. but now when she looks at ev she sees something different that makes her feel ill with guilt. and even feeling ill about it doesn’t make it go away <\3

- helen gets her at least calmed down out of hysterical panic attack mode. sitting so close to her she’s almost in her lap wiping her face with a tissue herself being so gentle begging her to talk to her.

- “really wish i could read your mind but i’ll be honest, i can’t. which means you gotta tell me what’s going on, hm?”

- jeanie is still just so quiet and sniffly and i mean very fucking fair because where do you even start.

- finally says something to the effect of “helen i can’t be here, it’s not- it’s not fair to you ev is okay with us but i can’t steal your husband. don’t think being in this house is doing anything but making everyone confused,”

- helen knows what she means but kinda plays dumb for a second and is like. do you mean the kids or do you mean you? still all gentle soft voice tucking her hair behind her ear.

- helen and ev have had a few very small conversations about everything but. ev has been cagey about it bc he doesn’t really know what to do with all this either. good thing they both have helen <3

- jeanie just kinda looks at her all sad and says she doesn’t know.

- “doesn’t have to be confusing if we don’t make it confusing” vs “hel you’re being ridiculous, ‘s not- it’s not right we can’t- it’s bad enough that you and me- it wouldn’t work the way you’re thinking it would.”

- but ughaaaa. helen just looks at her with those big eyes that made nash, ev and jeanie love her so much. no one has the heart to say no to that face.

- don’t know if we don’t try, we can try at least can’t we? doesn’t mean we have to keep trying if it’s not working,

- jeanie and ev table talking about everything the two/three of them until the next day but. jeanie ends up in bed with them at night anyways. let’s helen really kiss her in front of ev (ev never wanted to freak her out before so outside of just like casual smooch here and there during the day he stayed out of what her and helen did alone) for the first time. let’s helen make her feel good and let’s ev stroke her hair and kiss her forehead telling her she looks so pretty like this and well. that’s how the ‘trying’ of it all’ starts.

[bcolfanfic]

side b of young vets au/the ev x helen x jeanie story still consumes me if you dont mind me asking about it i'm interested in how all that changes the dynamics between the kids.

i think you said in an older post that the blakely kids and the crosby kids in side b essentially grow up like siblings and i kinda assume that isnt always an easy smooth thing?

i loveee side b too it’s so horribly sad but. i think it’s an interesting predictiment to put everyone in and i like writing it. in my last writing fandom before this one i spent like almost 2 years with my friends developing this insanely deeply developed poly/throuple ship au where the throuple had kids so this is a dynamic ive thought about *a lot*.

but yeah it is. complicated. it’s easier when the kids are all little because they don’t really see it as something out of the ordinary save for croz being gone. makes mostly perfect sense in their little heads that croz/daddy died so now they live with ev and helen because they’re their family too (: and the adults don’t need to really explain past that.

then it gets more complicated as they get older and their friends at school have questions that they don’t know how to answer and their relationships with each other feel more loaded.

especially with wyatt and the crosby kids because his dad is dead too. wyatt feels like they Understand him and they feel like wyatt Understands them. which can sometimes make sawyer and gracie and the other blakely kids feel a little isolated in the bigger dynamic of things because it feels like wyatt and the crosby kids have their own secret club/language that they aren’t privy to. which leads to them not always getting along the best when they’re tweens/teens and don’t know how to handle those emotions in the most rational way.

but it smooths out with time. they all love each other and share a special understanding. even the ones without a dad dad- because that aside they all grew up in an incredibly unique home situation that no one “gets” but them.

[bcolfanfic]

thinking about young vets side b ev/helen/jean

[bcolfanfic]

16. If one member of your otp committed a serious crime, how would the other react? Would they forgive? Help cover it up? Go to the police? - for ev/helen/jeanie, please :))

there is a side defghiklmnop thing where helen shoots fuckface lmao. in which ev was obv like yayyy!! aside from the traumatic circumstances being that he broke into the house when ev wasn't there

but side b ev/helen/jeanie wise i think theyre all so attached to each other and #connected in a way thats like. a little freaky. which to say they'd def hide bodies for each other <3

[bcolfanfic]

ev taking croz AND nash’s girls after they passed 😭

who amongst us does that not handle their grief related trauma by falling in love with their dead friends wives and feeling a moral obligation to take care of their families!!!!!

in all seriousness this is not lost on him lmao. side b jamie is a real dick about it a couple times before benny tells him he needs to quit it 🤥. even curt, though he’s nicer than jamie about it, is briefly like ??? are you losing your mind ???

ev is very cognizant of how it looks but. he does love both of them so sincerely. just wants them to be okay. and if they want to figure out how to make this work then they’re gonna make it work, fuck the noise.

it also “helps” that helen and jeanie are so attached to each other and it’s not like they’re strangers being shoved together by ev losing his mind. they love each other so deeply and have since they first became friends. + some stuff ~happened~ between them beforehand when helen was staying with her for a bit after nash died and croz cheated. so they have history going a ways back that has a hand in all this too.

[bcolfanfic]

i need young vets au halloween hcs, whether it’s josie’s first halloween with the bucks, rosie, aiden and naomi or even side b with the whole ev/helen/jeanie crew with all the kids

side b-ing it bc ive been thinkin about them ugh. cw for brief mention of suicide.

in my mind croz died over the summer so halloween is, after the kids going back to school, probably one of the first Big things they’re doing without their dad for the first time. so there’s lots big feelings around that from everyone ev and helen included because seeing the kids hurting makes them hurt. jj struggled a lot with going back to school and isn’t doin’ too good around this time but. ev is able to get him at least a little bit excited for halloween so that’s a baby step in the right direction. he spends a smidge more money than he’d normally prefer to spend on something the kid is gonna wear once because it makes him smile and that’s *something*.

because croz’s death was violent jeanie gets a little squicked out by halloween as a whole. doesn’t wanna take it from her kids who are innocent enough to not know how daddy died but. the blood and bodies and skeleton stuff makes her sick so she tries to keep her head down and ignore it for the most part. good thing she has ev and helen who love her and are happy to step in with the kids so she can take that space from it.

for actual halloween night ev takes the herd of kids to go around rosie’s neighborhood with him and aiden and naomi. and helen hangs back at the house with jeanie- who is having a pretty rough day. but it makes her heart feel better when the kids come back and they’re all happy hopped up on sugar and yapping about how much fun they had. makes her just a little more okay that they’re okay.

on a lighter note i think they get one of those ridiculously cute baby costumes for baby simon- like a lil baby lion or something. he’s way too little to understand halloween but he looks precious and the other kids appreciate that his cute factor gets them more candy lmao. put baby brother to work!!!

[bcolfanfic]

i find the dynamic between jeanie and ev so interesting in side b, were they close before she moved in with them or was it a slow gradual process as she became apart of his and helen’s life

i think i’ve said before that there’s parts of the croz fic i want to go back and rewrite to line up with where i ended up taking some of these headcanons. one of those parts being that the crosbys in my mind live in new york at that point, not iowa. where ev/helen also moved from west virginia not long before they had sawyer. so helen and jeanie and ev and croz saw a looottt of each other since they lived close by.

helen and jeanie didn’t ever truly revisit what happened between them during the war** while croz was still around. but it wasn’t a secret either and no one particularly gave it a lot of thought. ev had a lot of respect for jeanie. thought she was a good mom, a good wife to croz and a really good friend to helen. would tell her she looked pretty when the girls were going out together or when they were going on double dates. and she’d tell him he looked nice too but not anything past that. jeanie had a lot of respect for him too, especially bc she was close with helen before she got with him. he makes her best friend happy and that means everythinggg to her. sometimes when the four of them were tipsy she’d knock his shoulder, grab the back of his arm and affectionately bug him. but helen would do the same thing with croz and that was just normal for their dynamic.

ev always had a soft spot for her for all the above reasons ^ and then when she’s moved in with them when all their lives have been turned upside the soft spot just. grows. a lot. he feels like having any hesitancy to comfort her when she’s having a moment and helen is busy would just be wrong. which makes a lot of those little lines blur quickly. he watches her breathing when it’s one of the nights (before the Big line is crossed) that she crashes out in bed with them and just. feels like he owes it to his friend to make sure she’s okay and taken care of. in a way those feelings are even more intense than they were w/ helen when they first got together. bc he knew nash yeah. but croz was his best friend.

ev a) has a big heart and b) is a mama’s boy that has so much respect/admiration for the women in his life that it knocks him out. both of those parts of him combined with everything going on make him developing feelings for her somewhat inevitable.

**like in side a- helen went to stay with her when nash died and not long after that is when all the shit with croz cheating happened. there was something said in passing by jeanie about how maybe being with a woman would be easier and…it led to some experimenting while jeanie wasn’t sure if she was going to ask for a divorce or not. when she decided she was going to stay with him it ended completely amicably. and like i said it’s not something they revisit till post-croz passing when emotions are running so high again.

[bcolfanfic]

"baby simon was little but not so little that he wasn’t so horribly confused when daddy was just gone. poor little love. for a while he sobbed himself sick when ev held him because yeah he was tall with facial hair but. he wasn’t daddy. wasn’t the tall guy with facial hair that was just holding him a week ago, where’d he go??? when’s he coming back???"

oh my god this is so heartbreaking ): poor little love is right. and it breaks my heart for croz as well because he must have been hurting so deeply to leave his family like that. would love to hear more about the crosby kids in this side b and the parenting side of things with jeanie being with ev and helen.

putting my answer to this below a read more line since i ended up talking about croz/his suicide in the first paragraph. nothing graphic, just heavy emotional talk.

side b croz makes my heart ache. he was hurting so much, and the little part of him that could still be rational at the end did feel horrible about leaving his family. it's a terribly unfortunate truth that these decisions *aren't* rational. he did try so so hard to keep his shit together and stay for jeanie and the kids. there wasn't a second that he didn't love them more than anything. not one </3

poor sweet kids. the stuff with baby simon is so heartbreaking because he knows croz is /gone/ but he's still too little to even understand "daddy died" so he's just. confused. april is old enough to know he died but too little to understand that it's truly permanent. which is frustrating to rebecca and jj because they *do* understand more fully that he isn't coming back. and it's hard for them that they can't make april understand that. always a lot of yelling and crying between the three of them when sweet little april asks one of the grown-ups if he's coming back today </3

blakely kid wise it's just wyatt and sawyer for a while. wyatt is around jj's age and knows that before ev he had a dad that isn't alive anymore. very earnestly tries to make jj feel better by talking about that and it doesn't really land when they're little kids but the understanding does bond them more when they're older. sawyer lovess jeanie. was already such a mama's boy with helen and now there's two of them?!?! always makes jeanie smile on the hard days how much that sweet little guy adores her. sawyer is the perfect combination of the best of ev and helen, and it shows.

when ev and helen do eventually have their third kiddo that's a girl rebecca is nottt happy. gets real upset telling everyone she doesn't understand why they need a girl when they have her and april. sweet baby. she loves ev and helen so much and loves their little family life as unconventional as it is. takes some time for her to get it in that sweet little head that her nor april is being replaced by the new baby girl.

it's not the easiest situation in the world to navigate as they truly start a life together that isn't just surviving in the aftermath of croz passing. a whole lot of people don't get it and even ev's folks that are the most supportive parents on earth are a bit ??? when he finally has to fill them in. the other guys are as understanding as they can be about it and supportive even if they don't fully get it either. "growth" for jamie is keeping his stupid wise crack about ev ~collecting widows~ to himself and benny. he misses croz terribly and knows ev is a good guy. and when the shock wears off with ev's folks they're as loving and kind towards jeanie and the crosby kiddos as they rightfully deserve. jeanie is a sweetheart, it's impossible for any parental unit with hearts to not wanna love and watch out for her.

they all love each other. that counts for something <3

[bcolfanfic]

bored and spent like an hour and a half on this lmao that’s my girl though <3

[bcolfanfic]

I'm very intrigued with the whole Ev X Helen relationship you're putting together. The description of her abusive relationship between (I'm guessing) Nash and Ev is eye-opening -- looking forward to future installments about Ev and Helen.

yes nash predates fuckface! it’s talked about in her background HCs that are somewhere in my ev x helen tag but they grew up together in that little west va town and were high school sweethearts. got married very very young, had wyatt and wyatt was just shy of a year old when nash was killed overseas. i still have to nail down the war timeline w/ everything. but there’s still a pretty big chunk of time between that, and the war being over/ev getting sent to west va/helen getting involved with fuckface when wyatt is a toddler.

i’m working on a longer post about her life right after nash died, but tldr she took wyatt and went and stayed with jeanie & the crosby kiddos for a while immediately after. her best friend in the whole wide world <3 met her bc they were in a unit spouses fb group and started talking bc they both had little babies.