#because I'm squire and that's what I do every single time

[thegeminisage]

wow it is star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end," which is one of the strongest quality ricochets we've had yet.

blood oath (ds9):

okay, so the summary said "three klingon legends" but what i didn't realize is that they were all REAL KLINGONS FROM THE ORIGINAL SERIES

i have to pain this picture for you, whoever is reading this. the three klingons in this episode appeared in "errand or mercy" "the trouble with tribbles" and "day of the dove." like, they really came back to reprise their roles almost 30 years later. i'm going to paste a picture but uhtw 60s blackface

now, if you're a tos viewer, you may recognize that fella in the middle as also having played the titular squire of gothos in. "squire of gothos." now, as an episode, i find "squire of gothos" to be pretty mid, but there is one specific scene that really did something for me. to me? it did something TO me. what it did to me was send me off the fucking deep end, i wish i could convey the depths of my madness with human words

(still screenshot grabbed from this infinitely more amazing gifset, give it up for @maulthots for enabling me, no literally please go through her gif tag and reblog her gifs)

anyway, before my good and wonderful friend so kindly made this gifset for me, i did maybe sit in front of my pc and replay the clip upwards of [mumble] times a day because i was very, very unwell. when i watched this scene for the very first time what happened to me in that single instant was the bone-deep realization that james t kirk (tos and aos) ate fascists on tarsus iv, probably, and he'd fucking do it again because nobody tastes better than a fascist! i wrote an entire fanfic about it, sorry for the spoilers.

what does squire of gothos and tarsus iv have to do with ds9? well first of all every star trek episode is secretly about tarsus iv so jot that down

but secondly, i've watched this clip so many times i have to hide my face when this man shows up in trouble with tribbles. now, i'm not so good with faces, but i KNOW THAT VOICE. but i know him AS the squire of gothos. i frequently forget entirely that he also plays a klingon, so i didn't recognize his name. so when i heard the squire of gothos's voice come out of a random klingon's mouth in ds9 my immediate kneejerk reaction was "no i am hearing things that can't be--" BUT IT WAS. i PAUSED the episode so i could look iy up, realized that the guy in the drunk tank was kor or "do you have a tongue you will be taught to use it" fame, and then to my eternal glee, kang shows up next

i remembered reading once that kang came back later and i was like ??? no one comes back later on tos BUT HE DID! I JUST HAD TO WAIT FOR IT!!!!! mystery finally solved...........

once i recognized them this episode was a blast. absolutely loving these 100 year old klingons getting ready for a rip roaring rampage of supercentenarian revenge. i was VERY sad that they died at the end but at least presumably they all died together (didnt see the last one go down but im just assuming he lived long enough to eat the albino's heart and then die)

(the albino is a really funny concept by the way like he's not even albino he's just a white klingon)

other notable things about this episode: firstly, quark hiding behind odo at the beginning. classic. secondly, dax actually being a good fighter ?!?!?! and finally, a true passing of the bechdel test where dax asked kira some alarming and upsetting questions about killing people and kira immediately took her aside and MADE her talk. i love. Women. and also women who murder people. i support womens wrongs.

i even love that the ONE time sisko doesn't back up one of his people it's for a good reason (doesn't want the 27yo reincarnation of his father figure to die on a klingon suicide mission)

10000/10, absolutely stellar ep, zero complaints

journey's end (tng):

oh boy.

just about the coldest bucket of fucking water...

you know, we tried to give this episode the benefit of the doubt actually. we were like "maybe this was progressive in 1994. i mean they ARE saying that moving these guys forcibly would be bad" and i mean like what would we know about what was progressive in 94? we were 5. so we checked and um i don't think anybody liked it in 1994 either

devastating that THIS has to be a wesley episode bc i wanted a better sendoff for my boy. "i had a vision and now i'm leaving starfleet" and yes they said the word vision in the most derogatory way possible. jesus christ

TRAVELER ALIEN RACEFAKING? HE PRETENDED TO BE NATIVE AMERICAN TO GIVE WESLEY THE VISION? and then he was like haha don't you know all that stuff is fake. (picard earlier in this episode "i am sooo respectful of your beliefs")

furthermore when picard was like "oh yeah this guy blames me for the crimes of my colonizer ancestor" girl at no point did he say that. idk if white people should go around accusing other white people of white guilt so i don't say this lightly but jesus christ captain picard can you tone it the fuck down buddy

i came across a gifset today of picard from season 5 (idr the episode) going "starfleet doesn't want officers who blindly follow orders sayign you're just following orders has been used to justify too many tragedies in our history" and then smash cut to this episode where he's like "well i tried but yeah i'm gonna have to move you sowwy :/" like good lord.

anyway it's a bummer these last few eps of tng have been less than great bc ik tng is capable of good episodes and i was hoping this series would go out on a high note. but it's going to end the same way it began with us waiting for something good to happen and throwing popcorn at picard

TONIGHT: ds9's "the maquis part i" and tng's "firstborn." i am Braced. for trouble.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Austen Asks But For Gaskell: 6, 8, 24, 28

6. Favorite movie adaptation

There's fewer of these, so it's easier to pick :D definitely Wives and Daughters (1999). Best screenplay Andy wrote (that I have seen), pretty much Davies-ism free? Ending and a couple other bits aside, it's faithful? And I really like the cast, for the most part?. Some of it I'd even call inspired. Justine Wadell gives Molly that balance between her tendency to cry and her father's temperament and wit. One feels like Michael Gambon was born to play Squire Hamley's type. Bill Paterson is not as handsome as the character is supposed to be, but he does nail the rest. I do like Francesca Annis, though ever since I knew the 1983 radio drama had cast Angela Pleasance, she cannot be perfect XD It's a pity that Anthony Howell is so handsome, because he did well as Roger, and while I'm usually not impressed by Keeley Hawes, I think she did Cynthia well too. But I'm obsessed with Tom Hollander as Osborne. He sells it. He plays this extremely dramatic and romantic fated young man so so well. He honestly deserves more praise than he gets.

And there's of course the fabulous hair and lovely costumes too (blu ray release when BBC)

8. Least favorite couple

This is where I'd put a joke one like Lady Glenmire and the butcher from Cranford, but while I haven't finished Mary Barton, I do get the feeling I wouldn't feel deeply about that one in the end (considering Gaskell herself thought John Barton was the main tragic hero of her story, that kind of checks out).

24. Favorite supporting character

I think lord Cumnor from Wives and Daughters is underrated. He's a riot every single time he shows up, 10/10 would love to spend time with that man. There's side characters like Lady Harriet or Nicholas Higgins that have such depth and such flavor that it feels unfair not to pick them first, but... the heart wants what the heart wants I suppose XD

28. Favorite character backstory or secret

Mr Gibson's mysterious past is a sort of small running joke through Wives and Daughters, but "poor Jeanie" is such a master stroke? Mr Gibson is funny, and he loves Molly, and he grows to love Cynthia, which isn't an easy person to love. He's a good doctor too. But all the while there's a certain uncomfortable something running at the back of his personality. His jealousy of Molly is driven by the ghost of "poor Jeanie", who clearly was a victim of his passions to some degree or other (and the fact that it is never made clear what such degree is is a truly fascinating choice), and of whom we get the uncomfortable sensation that full reparations were not made to. His choice of wife in Mrs Kirkpatrick has an undercurrent of the same brand of moral failure, even if, of course, tempered by time, age, and circumstance. It's such a small thing in the scheme of the story, but it creates a distance between the reader and the character that resembles in a way the distance between him and Molly, as much as they love and understand each other.

From this ask game.

[vulturereyy]

Lurimol time baybeee!!! How do Lurien and Hegemol deal with the beetle breeding season, where stag beetles are essentially filled with the 'I must flip others at all costs' instinct? Ik Heg is a big softie, but if Lurien uses damselfly courting methods, I wonder how Heg might show off how big beetles show they're prime stock

Lurimol time !!! Thank you.... This one got a bit away from me eheheh so I'm sorry it's a bit long.

Hegemol is the biggest softie and is also the world's most repressed idiot, a deadly combination ashtrh. He's very, very happy and truly honored that Lurien invites him to learn damselfly dances, but... hoogh. He was able to repress the urges before and just keep himself rather set away from others when it was Time To Fling, but now that he has an actual person of his desires, and a 'potential partner' he wants to show off to... that's getting a little harder.

He may start trying to invite Lurien to come watch him spar with his other knights, who are all partially confused when The Watcher shows up and just. Does as he does (watches). But when hegemol flips Ogrim, something he really doesn't do, I think it would finally click for Ogrim what's happening as the other beetle in the group ashffh. [SpongeBobgrin.png "You like Lurien, don't you Hegemol.]

I think this would culminate in Hegemol entering and inviting Lurien to a knightly tournament that's being held for the masses, something he's explicitly expressed disinterest in before ("Ah, I'm too old for those games" or "I've no need to win adoration" etc). And coupled with a poster of a beetle hunk as part of the advertising it finally FINALLY clicks for Lurien what is Happening.

And Lurien bless his heart tries to. Help? By saying "You don't need to win my affections this way, you know. I don't even have a preference for strength." Which is intended well but makes Hegemol [deflating balloon noises] internally because sorry Lurien his mind is still in flinging mode and takes that to mean he's not the strongest and may in fact be a pity pick.

Anyway Aedmond the butler comes to the rescue that night while making Lurien his tea and explain that he just accidentally turned down Hegemol's courtship advances, and that the *ritual* of it all is very important. And Lurien's single braincell devoted to social things is like OH.................. thank you Aedmond this is why I hired you above all others.

So he still goes to the tourney and Hegemol immediately perks up upon seeing him from the ring like a goddamn golden retriever of a man and starts fuckin beetle brawling with the utmost intensity. And with every fling he glances up at Lurien in his secluded box seat (with Aedmond) and Lurien makes sure to always appear leaning forward maybe with a hand on his heart or something akin to a taken aback swoon, even if he wouldn't normally.

Hegemol ends up getting into the final match against his own first squire, Gytha, who is my huge Trans Hercules Beetle and she's definitely here to get some bitches. She and Hegemol normally brawl whenever they see each other, it's their tradition, but *normally* Gytha wins. She's younger, more spry, and as his squire knows a lot of his weak points as he's the one that trained her, and she's since developed her own fighting style and methods once she was knighted. She also has the huge Hercules Beetle horns that make it easier for her to grab and fling even huge bugs like Heg. (She is also, notably, the only non-enemy bug Hegemol will ever use his full strength against, because he knows she can take it.)

Their match may even go longer than the preliminaries because when Hegemol actually cares about what losing means (it means nothing to Lurien but yknow, Fling Brain in full swing here), he doesn't just give up on the first grab from Gytha. He squeezes his hands into her horns right before she flips him and wrenches them off of him, he traps her neck between his horns in a move that she's barely able to get out of, all sorts of shit that has the crowd going wild and Lurien now *fully* invested because I don't think he's ever seen Hegemol really display his strength like this. And Aedmond sits there like :> (sipping his drink) because oops my lord has actually fallen for the beetle courtship for real. What a shame, what a shame.

Gytha and Hegemol get to the point where they're both shaking from exhaustion after such a long bout, she can't even heft him to fling if she wanted to, and she's also caught on by the fact that her old mentor keeps looking up at *something* that he, for once, has a stake in this. She goes in for a misplaced grab that she knows will be met with resistance and all but helps to throw her weight into the hurl as Hegemol uses the last of his strength to send her skidding on her back toward the edge of the ring. She'd never tell him she did that on purpose, but also in her mind it's better to have helped her old man get some than to admit she was defeated for real (which she would have been and she knows it).

Crowd goes fucking wild, Lurien finally lets out that breath he's been holding, Aedmon sips his tea and hands Lurien a fan, Hegemol is named this year's beetle brawl champion. And all is well.

He does get a few days off after that because grandpa definitely pushed himself too far but hooogh he's the happiest bug in the world.

And after that, he doesn't super get the urge to join the brawl again once Lurien and he are rather committed to each other. He does still get cycles, but the desire to "prove himself" as a mate fades significantly. He may still toss Ogrim if Lurien happens to be watching, but he's content to know he 'won' his spot at Lurien's side.

[scrollsfromarebornrealm]

Moonfire Mayham

"Why the fuck are there hatchings in the liberty leave briefing?" Philippe mock-demanded, fixing a scowl on his face.

"Hatchlings are here because they're getting to go to Moonfire for the first week." Lysette, the newest 2IC for the House Dzemel dragoons responded. She lifted a booted foot off a chair as Reinhardt moved into the cluster.

"I see babysitting duty's on the menu for the first week." He commented, dropping down onto the chair. "Sucks to be you..."

"Whatddya mean 'sucks to be you'?" Came the retort from Stella, a House Fortemps dragoon. She glared at Reinhardt--or rather she and Noelle--her inner dragon--did. Reinhardt felt Paien shimmer into reality around his neck, his other half smirking.

"I'm not going to be in this mess. Have fun running herd this week." A shit-eating grin spread across Reinhardt's face as his seatmates exploded in curses.

"Listen it's not on me that you didn't put in for your time when your captains asked for it back then."

"You fuck!" Stella snapped, kicking the back of Reinhardt's chair as the auburn-haired dragoon cackled. Noelle was hiss-spitting at Paien, who just looked very smug.

"I wonder if we can fight to claim his vacation time." Philippe wondered aloud.

"I have zero qualms throwing your ass off off the Cathedral." Reinhardt reached into his pocket for his tomestone. "And I don't want to see any of you fucks loitering by us in Costa. Go find your own food!" Of course he was expecting the unit to ignore this and show up, it was practically tradition at this point.

"We should probably--"

"Attention!!" Came a shout. Every single dragoon stopped what they were doing, bolting to their feet. All eyes fixed on the front of the room, where Brucemont had just gotten on top of a small platform. Behind him, Helgrim cleared his throat.

"At ease!" He called. As one, the dragoons sat down. At a nod from Brucemont, Helgrim continued.

"This is the safety brief for those who drew the short straw for this half of the Moonfire Faire! If your ass is scheduled for liberty for the second week, then why the fuck are you in here!? If we find out you're scheduled for second week guess what you're gonna be doing for the full fuckin fortnight?! Check your leave papers now!"

"Always a dumbass that forgets." Lysette muttered, the group nodding in agreement.

"First Lance has the floor!"

"Here we go!" Stella stage-whispered, starting to giggle. Philippe was starting to snort, Lysette was biting back laughter, and Reinhardt was covering his mouth. Titters could be heard from various other locations. On the platform, Brucemont sighed. He fully anticipated a body count on the first day. The Admiral was probably already laying bets and placing ringers.

Ah well.

"Do not add to the population!" He bellowed. "Do not subtract from the population! Do not end up in these three locations; jail, the newspapers, or the infirmary! If you end up in the first, establish dominance quickly! If you end up in the second, you will be praying to the Fury for death by the time I'm done with you! If you end up in the third, you're going to wish that you had stayed there by the time I'm done with you! Pay your fucking bar tabs! Hydrate! That is all."

----

Note: Hatchling= squire, private

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 62 Transcript: Dean's Best Friend That He Just Let Go

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello! My name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, somebody who has seen the show several times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! Okay! So for today's episode, we will be discussing Season 4, Episode 2: "Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester," written by Sera Gamble, directed by Phil Sgriccia.

C: Mm. [laughs] Phil's made some choices with the flashbacks in this episode.

G: The flashbacks are so funny because they're like-

C: They're so fucking stupid! [laughing] Like, I remember who these people are! You put them in the “Then” sequence, too!

G: I think maybe perhaps it's like, a fact- the fact that Supernatural is a- what do they call this? An episodic show? [laughs] Like, whatever. You know what I mean.

C: Yeah.

G: That's the reason why. Because not everyone watches every episode.

C: Which is why there's the “Then” sequence. But the "Then" sequence is pretty fun this time.

G: It's so fun! What song was in it?

C: It's “Lonely is the Night,” according to tunefind.com.

G: I don't think so.

C: I- did we watch-

G: I mean, maybe it's a different “Lonely is the Night.” [typing] "Lonely is the Night." I mean, like, “Lonely is the Night” is like, an Air Supply song, right? Maybe it's different.

C: It's says “Lonely is the Night,” remastered by Billy Squier, according to the-

G: Yeah. I think it's Squire.

C: Squire? Maybe.

G: Well, maybe, perhaps. It's a good song. It's super fun. We'll talk about it later. But for now, I want to talk about the title.

C: Yes.

G: Love this title. Have you read the book?

C: Yes, I've read, "Are You There God? It's me, Margaret" back when I was a little girl, as many people did with their lives. [laughing] I remember that they had exercises to increase their breast sizes to which they would chant, [overlapping] "I must, I must, I must increase my bust," and I remember that she lied about having her period. Which is such a common feature of like, young cis girl books, and I don't get why.

G: I think for me, what I remember a lot about that book was- Oh, to be to be clear, I read the book after I watched Supernatural because of Supernatural.

C: Oh my god. G: I was like, "This is such an interesting title. I wonder where it's from?" And then I realized it's a book, and I was like, "I must read the book then." But like, so I was a bit older. What I remember the most is how they treated the girl who was taller than everyone. Do you remember?

C: I don't remember that.

G: Like, there's a girl in the story who's like, taller than everyone and she's more physically mature than everyone, and like, they treated her like a piece of shit. Because, like, they treated her like, "Oh, she's dating someone older." "Oh, she's like, seducing the teacher because she's" blah blah blah. And like, I just remember, like, that was such a like- like, it zinged my brain because I was like, that person in grade school.

C: Yeah.

G: But, like, you're right, like, it's such a fascinating look into like, cis girlhood. Fascinating book.

C: Mm-hm. I read the Wiki summary for this book in preparation for this recording-

G: [laughs] Yeah.

C: And that girl- didn't she end up- It was like, they found out that she was like, deeply Catholic, and therefore felt like, extra hurt by all the rumors going around about her.

G: Yeah.

C: Is that part of what zinged your brain? [laughs]

G: I mean, is it- are you saying that it's because I'm Catholic? [laughs]

C: Yes. [laughs] Yes. I am putting you in a box, and I'm telling you to stay there.

G: Okay, so that's enough for our book review of "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."

C: That book is not at all related to this episode.

G: Not at all.

C: I don't know why Sera Gamble decided to snatch it.

G: No because like- Well, because in "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret," like, she has this like, whole thing because her parents are different religions, right?

C: Yeah.

G: And it's like, "I want to decide what religion I'm gonna have and if I believe in God" and all that shit, and it's like, here in this episode, Dean is like, "Is God there? Do I believe in a god? What's the deal?" I think that's the thing that they're aiming for.

C: Yeah, but he doesn't menstruate on screen [G laughs], so like, I don't get it.

G: Yeah. But it's a completely fascinating title by itself. Like, if you- Even if you don't know what it's referencing, it's like, a good title. “Are You There God? It's Me, Dean Winchester.”

C: Yeah.

G: It slays.

C: And all that credit should go to Judy Blume instead of ignorant people just watching Supernatural and reading the book after the fact. [G laughing]

G: I mean, it's a very American book.

C: [laughing] Yeah, I don't-

G: And I'm not American. So fuck off [C laughing], as, you know, Logan Roy would say [laughing] in episode 4 of-

C: [laughing] Rest in peace to that man!

G: [laughing] No! No! We're not allowed to say that!

C: Wait, sorry, Succession spoilers- Rest in peace to that man! [both laughing]

G: We're not allowed to say that! It's a spoiler! We're not allowed to say it.

C: Alright, alright, fine. So are you gonna ask me what I know about this episode before going in?

G: Yeah, yeah. What did you know?

C: Nice. So first, I knew that this episode would contain what I consider the horniest Deancas moment in all of history.

G: Oh my god, yeah.

C: Which is, you know, Cas shows up when Dean's sleeping, they have a very tense argument/conversation, and then, like, the camera gets the closest it's ever gotten on anyone's face in the history of Supernatural, and then Cas tells Dean that, like, he pulled him out of Hell so he can throw him back in. So I knew about that. And then I knew from our Season 3 Q&A that this is the episode where Henriksen comes back as an angry ghost, and I guess other people do, too.

-

G: Okay. So we start with the "Road so Far," and as Crystal said, it's "Lonely is the Night" by-

C: Some guy.

G: Some guy. Not Air Supply. [both] Billy Squier.

G: Yeah. I need to imagine if it was the Air Supply song, though that would be wonderful.

C: I don't know what song you're talking about, sorry.

G: It's the one that goes like, "Lonely is the night when I'm not with you / Lonely is the night / There's no light shining through / Til you're in my heart, til you're here by my side"-

C: Sorry, no, I don't-

G: It's so good. It's a karaoke song. It's wonderful.

C: Mm.

G: But the "Road So Far" is super good this episode.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah, like, they- because I don't even know that the theme of the episode is going to be like, the witnesses. So I thought they were just doing the whole bit of like, "We can't save everyone" and then them not being able to save everyone, just for fun, just for the kicks. [C laughs] Like, I didn't connect the dots that like, "Oh, this is that episode." And also the part where like, Sam, goes like, "You're not going to go to Hell, Dean," and it cut to Lilith opening the door, and it's like, [both] "Sic 'em, boy." It's so good! It's so fun! And then Dean goes to Hell, and then he gets rised up, and then Cas is there. And honestly, seeing Cas in a "Road So Far" is so so so so fun.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: It's like, he's there. He's a part of the show.

C: He sure is. I feel like this "Road So Far" sequence does a really good job at like, setting up just the general arc of the episode, because, like, Dean shows up at the end of, like, the list of like, you're introduced to a character, and then they die. Like, Dean shows up like, in the exact same way. You're introduced to a character with Sam's line about him not going to Hell, and then he dies. So like, here he is in just this long list of people that they weren't able to save. But then he gets risen up. And now we have to think about that. It is fun.

G: Yeah. It's so fun. But now, well, the teaser. You know, there's a lady, she's on the couch sleeping, and we can see that the lights and everything are flickering.

C: Yeah, the book on her chest is "The Secret Teachings of All Ages," which is like, a lore like, a mythology book. So like, we already get a hint that she is a hunter before she wakes up.

G: Whoa! That's a nice catch.

C: Yeah.

G: And it's all flickering, and then she wakes up, and she like, goes to this corner of the room where she opens up a cupboard, and it's all weapons. And the phone is ringing, and there's like, a voice- what do you call this? A voice-

C: A voice mail message?

G: Voice mail! Yeah. A voice message that's like, from Bobby, who's saying like-

C: This is a voice mail. Make your voice a mail.

G: Yeah! Yeah. And Bobby is saying like, "Call me back. I've got something big." So, you know. We know she's a hunter from everything that has happened. And then suddenly, like, a guy shows up. He's a ghost. And, like, the lady tries to shoot at the ghost and all that shit. Tries to salt the doorway. Which, now, every time they salt a doorway, I just think about what you said about ghosts respecting the architecture. [laughs] Like, they literally respect the architecture.

C: I don't remember what I said about that.

G: You said like, "They could pass through the walls, but they don't. Because they respect the architecture."

C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is true.

Also, like, the way that she does the salt. Like, she picks up a pillow that was on her couch that, like, she was sleeping on, and it's full of salt, and she just pours it out all over the ground. And I think that it's so fun that, like, this is like, her home, and she clearly like, is a hunter but lives in this home. And that she hides her salt and hides her weapons means that, like, she probably has a lot of interaction with the civilian world, so like, I don't know. She's very interesting to me. Like, all new hunters are very interesting to me, and it's sad that she dies immediately.

G: So, Olivia- that's her name, by the way. Her name's Olivia, which we learn from her voice message answering machine message. And she goes like, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." At this guy. And then another, like, person grabs her, and then she like, starts screaming. RIP.

C: Yeah. After seeing how much talking the other ghosts did at like, Sam and Dean and Bobby, like, I understand that cold opens need to be short, but like, wow, they really did Olivia dirty here.

G: Yeah.

-

C: So we get to Bobby's house, and Sam and Dean are having an argument about Cas. And also, Grey, you told me that Dean's hair looks like shit in Season 4, but it didn't that much in "Laz Rising." It does in this episode. He looks terrible in this scene.

G: Whoo! I win. [both laugh]

C: So Sam's on like, the "Yes, this was an angel side," and Dean is on the "All I know is I was not groped by an angel" side. Fascinating way to put it. And I don't- this whole argument, I enjoy it after "Houses of the Holy." It's a good argument. So, you know, blah blah blah, Dean thinks that if angels were real, a hunter would have seen one, blah blah blah. And Bobby eventually tells them to like, shut up and come over here.

The, okay, why is- Okay. So I guess we sort of learned why Dean is so anti it being an angel, but also like, at the end of "Houses of the Holy," he was like, "That bar going through that guy's chest just like that makes me think that there is a divine force out there," right? He forgot. [G laughs] He did have 40 years in between.

G: I also forgot about the "Houses of the Holy" end scene, so, you know.

C: Okay. Alright.

So also, another thought I had during this scene: I feel like part of why Sam's so insistent that it's an angel is because- Okay, we know Sam prays every day, from "Houses of the Holy." He probably prayed every day for like, an angel to bring Dean back. Like, probably part of him wonders if this is like, the answers to his specific prayers.

G: Oh, that's sweet.

C: Yeah. Oh, also, Sam's wearing like, a fun shirt in the scene. It's like, some faded denim wash, like, JC Penney ass shirt. Big fan.

Okay, right. When Sam says that they have a theory, Dean tells him to give him one "with a little less fairy dust on it." Literally clocked Cas as gay within 5 minutes and is also calling Sam a homo.

G: Sastiel.

C: Sastiel. [laughs] So Bobby says that his lore says that angels can take a human soul out of Hell and literally nothing else has that power, and Sam looks pretty psyched about this. He says that this is good news, because “For once, this isn't just another round of demon crap. Maybe you were saved by one of the good guys.” Aw. Well, that's sad.

G: You know, there's a part when it pans to Bobby's book, like, the image is that of an angel rescuing, you know, a soul from Hell, and they have- the angel has their hand over the person's shoulder. And then Dean, like, looks at this, and then puts hand on the shoulder.

C: Oh, yeah.

G: And I was like, "That's cool shit." That's cool shit!

C: That is cool shit. Still so mad the makeup team wouldn't spend an extra 2 hours per episode putting that on Jensen Ackles's arm for every single episode of Supernatural for the rest of eternity, but oh well.

Sam starts saying that this is less and less about faith and more about proof. And then Dean reveals that the reason that he's so like, adamant about this not being an angel is because, [dramatically] "Because... why me?"

G: And then the sad piano-

C: [overlapping] And then the dinkiest sad piano music starts playing [G screams], and I had to pause the episode to laugh and laugh and laugh.

G: It's so funny! It's so funny. It's so funny. Like, it's the most dramatic music ever. [C laughs] "Why me?" Duh-dun, duh-dun. Like, [laughing] what the fuck?

C: And it cuts to like, Sam and Bobby reaction shots, too. They're like, "Oh, wow! We're learning so much, Dean's being so vulnerable-" like, shut the fuck up.

G: Literally.

C: Yeah. He says if there's a God out there like, he doesn't see why he would care about him specifically. He says that he saved some people, so that maybe makes up for the "stealing and the ditching chicks." [laughing] It doesn't.

G: The stealing is fine. Who gives a shit.

C: Yeah, stealing's fine. And then he says that he's just some guy.

G: He's just a regular guy! Regular guy.

C: He's just a regular guy. He's just an innocent man. So Sam says, you know, blah blah blah, “You must be important to God.” Dean says that that creeps him out, and Sam does like, this sigh thing on that. And like, do you think Sam's jealous of Dean?

G: I have thought about this.

C: He just- he wants to be God’s special little guy, doesn't he? Like, a little bit.

G: I think Sam wants to be holy in some way. Like, I think- I think it's reasonable to think that he's thinking like, “Why does Dean get to be God's special little guy, and I'm like, literally demonic?” But like, I don't think that's something in this episode. Like, I don't think that subtext is in this episode. I think that's more towards, you know, the rest of the season. And the show!

C: Yeah. Yeah. That is true. If Sam was asked to be an angel vessel in like, an earlier season, he would hop on that shit so fast, though. Like, I know that in my heart.

G: I don't think so. I think he'll be wary of it, but I guess what you're saying.

C: "Houses of the Holy," like he saw that the supposed angel caused like, three people to go to jail or a psychiatric ward for the rest of their lives, and when he saw like, revelation or whatever, he was immediately like, “Oh my god! Yes, baby, I will kill that rapist!” you know? [laughs] Like, he seemed very willing to do God's will as soon as he believed that it was God's will.

Okay, Dean finally acquiesces and ask Bobby to give him the angel readings, and Bobby like, slaps a big old pile of books on the table. And then Dean decides that he's gonna try to be funny. Jensen Ackles decides that he's gonna try to be funny [G laughs] by saying to Sam, "You're gonna get me some pie." And then, like, slapping the book pile a bit-

G: No, no! He grabbed a book. It's just that the topmost book is the thinnest book of all time. [C laughs] Like, it's a fucking pamphlet.

C: I see, okay.

G: And he's like, "I'm gonna read this, and I deserve some cake for it."

C: Yeah. The thing about this episode is that-

G: Did I say cake? I meant pie.

C: The thing about this episode is they try to make jokes, and I don't find a single one of them funny. Like, it's not a bad episode, but every attempt at humor falls incredibly flat for me.

G: It's completely fascinating to me that, like, they're really hammering home the pie thing this episode.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Why? And also, in relation to that, I don't even know where I heard this, but like, maybe it's one of those like, YouTube shorts, which is my TikTok, as I like to say, where like, it's a podcast, and they're talking in the podcast, and it's like, a clip of the podcast episode, you know? And there's one where they're talking about how cake vs pie. With cake, it's very easy to have bad cake. Like, if you just go to a diner and buy and get some cake, it's probably gonna be shitty, but when you get good cake, it's really really fucking good. But good cake is expensive, good cake takes some time to bake, good cake takes a lot of like, effort, blah blah blah. But like, with pie, whatever tier of price point or like, effort, or whatever you're making pie with, it's always going to be good.

C: McDonald's pies do slap.

G: Yeah. But like, the maximum goodness of a pie is lower than that of cake's. And I thought about Dean while listening to that. And I was like, "Well, I guess it makes sense he prefers pie over cake, because, like, if you go to a diner and you get a pie versus a cake, chances are you get a better pie."

So Sam goes forth into the world to buy some pie, and like, it's a whole thing. Like, he's on the phone, and he's like, "Yeah, Dean, I'll get the chips. [C laughs] When did I ever forget the pie?" And then, like, he turns around to look at the diner, and Ruby is there. And his face like, goes like, all serious. And he goes, "I gotta go." And then he walks over to Ruby!

C: She looks great.

G: So Ruby starts asking- Do you think Ruby looks great? I mean, she looks great, obviously.

C: Yeah, she always looks great.

G: Genevieve Padalecki is a very wonderful woman. Like, looks-wise. [C laughs] I love how I had to clarify that. [laughs] Looks-wise! That's horrible.

C: Yeah. She's wearing like, a black t-shirt with like, rhinestones on it. Like, very 2000s. And she has a black jacket with it. And, I don't know. She's such an alive girl. Good for her.

G: Mm-hm. I think I just really don't like her acting.

C: It is a little bit rusty in this scene as well, I think. Like, when she's trying to like, portray strong emotion like, she tries too hard, I think.

G: When, do you think, will she unrust?

C: I don't know. I think we'll just get used to it. {G laughs]

G: This is just the new Ruby.

C: Yeah.

G: So she asks if it really was an angel, and Sam’s like, “Oh, you heard?” And Ruby says, “Who hasn't?” Which I thought was so fascinating, like, how did everyone hear? Like, was Cas going to that bar such a big commotion?

C: Huh. Well, he did burn out the eyes of those demons in the diner. So it's possible that other demons found the bodies and was like, "I recognize this as like, angelic interference."

G: An angel? Yeah, I suppose so. And then Ruby immediately goes, "Okay, bye, Sam!"

C: [laughing] God, she's so fucking real.

G: And Sam's like, "What the fuck? What's going on?" And then she, you know, explains that she's a demon, they're angels, and angels are like, ferocious creatures, and that they smite first and they ask questions later. They're not gonna care if she's being helpful. They're not gonna care if she's one of the good guys. And she says she's never met one, but she doesn't intend to, because they scare the holy hell out of her, so. And she says, “Watch yourself, Sam.” And Sam said something that I was like, “Aww.” He says, “I'm not scared of angels.”

C: Yeah, sorry, babe.

G: I love that. I love that.

C: Yeah, I like this whole exchange very much, because Ruby's saying like, “You are collaborating with me, and you are drinking demon blood, and you had demon blood in you as a baby, like, their 'smite first, ask questions later' thing might apply to you." And Sam just like, doesn't even comprehend that that could be the case, you know? Like, he's like, “I'm like, pious, and I'm being a good guy. Like, I'm not scared of angels. What? We're the same? No, we're not.” But like, not even like, that self-aware. And it's fun. I like to see it.

G: Yeah.

-

C: So Sam comes back to Bobby's place. They're like, in the scrapyard, and Bobby comes over and says that they're gonna start driving directly to his friend Olivia's house because she knows about angel lore and stuff. So he's been trying to contact her, but she hasn't gotten back to him for three days. Sam knows Olivia Lowry to be a hunter. I guess, I don't know. He probably heard about her from Ellen or something. Where is Ellen, by the way?

G: I don't know. She's chilling. She doesn't have a bar.

C: Or a house.

G: Yeah. I mean, are they gonna show up in Season 4? Who knows?

C: I don't know. I don't think they do.

G: Who even knows?

C: Where have they been for three seasons or whatever? Yeah. Right. So also, like, to note, Sam is in the Impala, and he's the one who's like, driving it back. But then Dean comes over and tells Sam to scoot so that he can get into the driver's seat. So, you know, I guess another tick mark in the “Who is driving the Impala shows the power and balance between the brothers” thing. And yeah. Sam has forgotten the pie. It's very, very sad. So they show up to Olivia's, and they go inside, and she's dead on the floor. Incredibly gory. Like, so fun gory.

G: Yeah. Bobby immediately walks out. [laughs]

C: Yeah. And Bobby just takes one look and immediately walks out. And we find out later that it's just because he was like, calling other hunters in the area. But like, I like it better as just like, an emotional response to his friend being dead and very gross on the ground. Like, the seconds during which I thought that he just left because he was overwhelmed was like the most human I'd ever seen Bobby so far. But no, he was just being another plot utility guy.

So yeah. Sam and Dean see that there was a salt line, see that the EMF reader is like, burned out, meaning that, like, whatever ghosts were here were like, extra extra powerful. And then Bobby comes back in and says that “Oh, like, what I did during the five seconds I was outside was call a bunch of hunters nearby and found that none of them were answering their phones. So something is up.” Sad! That nobody replied to Bobby's call.

G: Yeah. And they do a whole sequence of like, phone ringing for like, another hunter. And then it's like, while the phone rings, it goes to his body, and it's torn apart. It's pretty gory. Gory stuff.

C: It's an incredibly ugly scene editing-wise-

G: Yeah. Cuts.

C: - because they just do a bunch of like, flashes of parts of his house like they're on a fucking BBC Sherlock episode, [G laughs] and then to be like, "Clues. Look! There's blood on the floor. I wonder what that means?" And then we see his body. It's quite fun. Like, it looks like his entire ribcage has been like, pried open to expose, like, his intestines and shit, you know?

-

G: Yeah. Sam and Dean are talking to Bobby on the phone again, and they're like, "Yeah, we visited someone, and, you know, they're torn to shreds." And then, like, Bobby says, “I checked on Carl Bates and R.C. Adams."

C: "They redecorated. In red.”

G: In red.

C: It's bad.

G: And it's like, stop! It's so bad.

C: It's not funny. It's boring. You said a boring thing, Bobby.

G: Yeah. And then, you know, they're like, trying to brainstorm what's happening. Bobby's like, "Just go to my house until we find out what's happening because like, this is obviously attacking hunters." And then we go to Dean sleeping on the passenger seat, and Sam is like, driving, which I thought was so fun. Sam, like, goes out to get some gas and goes to the restroom. Okay, fascinating thing. Did you know that like, in the Philippines, we call the restrooms “comfort rooms”?

C: Oh. Huh.

G: Which, like, I don't know. I brought it up once to someone, and they were like, "What a weird thing to say!" Like, they didn't know that I was talking about the restroom. Because I was saying like, "Oh, I'm going to the CR. The CR." They're like, "What the fuck is the CR," and I was like, "Comfort room!" [both laughing] And they're like, "What the fuck is a comfort room?" I thought that was so funny.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. I think we should integrate that to the vocabulary of every English-speaking country.

C: Let's- sure, let's do it.

G: It's a fun thing to say.

As Sam like, goes to wash his hands or something, we see that his breath becomes, you know, foggy. Which is a whole thing this episode. Like, every single time a ghost shows up, they do it. Like, there's just a foggy breath thing going on. And then he sees Henriksen.

C: Henriksen!

G: From the reflection of the mirror. And, like, my first thought was, "It's fascinating that they send Henriksen to Sam." 'Cause I didn't know how the rest of the episode will pan out, and like, spoiler! Henriksen ends up being like, Dean's final foe. And then Meg, who shows up with Dean first, becomes Sam's final foe. Which is what you would expect, you know. But I think it's fascinating that they start off with it reversed. So we get both's reaction to the information, and, you know, it's super fun!

C: It is.

G: And then Sam at first think that Henriksen survived, which he didn't. He starts flickering, and it's like, obvious that didn't. And Henriksen is mad. He's mad at Sam for leaving like, people in the police station to die. "In your place" is what he calls it. And he's like, "You did this to me. It was your fault." And they start fighting. Like, Henriksen starts attacking Sam, and he's super powerful. Sam sees like, a little brand on Henriksen's hand, and then, like, they're being thrown around, they're being thrown around.

C: Yeah. I thought that the reason this confrontation took place in the gas station bathroom was so that they could recreate the Henriksen toilet face shot but with Sam being drowned in the toilet-

G: I know! I know!

C: But he did not. Sam did not get drowned in any toilet, and that's a shame.

G: When when they hit some in the head with the sink, like, my first thought was, "They should have done it in the toilet or in the urinal. That would be more fun."

C: Yeah. [both laugh]

G: Yeah, that's my only hot take. Anyway, Dean shows up, shoots, and it's a whole thing. The ghost disappears.

C: Oh, wait we didn't mention, when Henriksen showed up, we get a bunch of stupidass flashbacks of him.

G: Oh, yeah! The flashbacks. We didn't mention it because it's stupid as fuck.

C: They're black and white, and they're fucking dumb. They're terrible. And it undermines every time a ghost shows up. It undermines, like, the shock and like, interest of their presence so much by having those stupid ass flashbacks.

G: Yeah.

C: The worst one when Meg tells Dean like, "Hey, remember, when you threw me off a building?" and then [laughing] it flashes back-

G: [laughing] - to her fucking falling out of the window.

C: - to her being thrown out of the window! Like, in case people don't understand what the words "threw off a building" mean? Like, in case people are visual learners? [both laugh] Like, Jesus.

G: Yeah.

-

G: We go to Bobby's house, and he's just hanging out when, like, laughing noises start happening. Is that right? But, like, you know, he hears some noises, and he starts walking. And he sees that there are two little girls, like, behind him. And it's a whole thing. It's like, you know, usual horror. Like, two little twin girls, and they're wearing twin dresses.

C: Yeah. Sam Sam and Dean are back in the Impala ‘cause Dean shot Henriksen, etc., etc. Sam has like, a little cut over his eye, and he looks real cute with it. And Dean's been trying to call Bobby, but he's not picking up. Sam does not have a concussion, which is fun. And Dean says to Sam “Henriksen?” which is fascinating, because when he meets Henriksen again, he only calls him Victor.

G: That's fascinating.

C: So... they had sex. I don't know when in that episode they had the time, but they did.

Sam says that Henriksen wanted revenge because “we got him killed.” And Dean goes like, “Sam,” and Sam goes, “Well, we did, Dean." Which, you know, as you said, Sam only blames himself for things that he hasn't done and does not blame himself enough for things that he has. [laughs] So Dean's like, "Shut up, stop with all the self-loathing. Let's just keep on truckin'." And then we cut to the Impala driving later, and like, Sam and Dean were talking- like, it was night. And now it is day.

G: Yeah. Now it's day.

C: [laughs] How far away were they from Bobby's house?

G: Maybe it was midnight. Maybe it was like, 4AM and now it's 6AM.

C: Okay, fine. I'll take it.

Right. They go in. They're looking for Bobby. There's an iron poker that was dropped on the ground. Dean-

G: Also, I want to say when Dean like, tries to shout Bobby's name, he does it in a soft voice. Like, he's like trying to whisper, but he's trying to shout out at the same time, and he goes, "Bobbay!" [both laugh] And I love it. It's literally Bobbay.

C: It's literally Bobbay. So Dean says, “I'm gonna look inside. Sam, you go search the junkyard.” And Bobby is in the junkyard. He's like, trapped in a car, and, like, the twins are like, covering his mouth, but Sam cannot find him. And Dean, upstairs, hears a sound, and somebody appears behind him, and that somebody is a Meg Masters, the human vessel for the demon Meg, and she looks different than Meg did in that she has like, longer brown hair instead of cropped blonde hair, and like, she's wearing a different outfit than Meg usually is. But she still has Meg's voice, which is a very good voice. Thank you for having that voice.

So, you know, she appears and greets him, and then we get some ugly ass flashbacks to Meg. And then Meg Master says, “This is what I looked like, before that demon cut off my hair and dressed me like a slut.” [screams]

G: And then they do flashbacks of Meg, and she's literally wearing like, a full-on jacket, full-on-

C: Yeah, a jacket, like, a high-collared shirt. Like, a higher collar than like, human Meg is wearing. [laughs]

G: Yeah, wearing jeans-

C: [laughing] What does it mean to dress her like a slut? What are you saying?

Right. Okay. So, and this is the first time that- Okay, I really enjoy Meg and hair throughout Supernatural, because we know that in Season 8 after Meg is captured by Crowley, her hair has been dyed blonde, and, like, she says that like, Crowley did it to her, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Which is like, fucking wild. But I feel like, that- I think a lot of what is happening here is just like, the Meg actresses having different hairstyles for different, like, roles, but like, them, choosing to incorporate that into the plot so that it becomes a motif throughout her story.

G: Yeah.

C: And I do find, like, the voluntary, you know, bleaching, like, turn-around while being captured by Crowley very interesting for her as a character. And I also feel like this is like, sort of the first we've heard of a demon really doing a lot to modify the appearance of their vessel, because a lot of times it's like, "This is a meat suit and I just use it to get around." Like, they don't change their outfits or anything. But like, Meg, like, she customized, you know?

G: Yeah.

C: And I like it. I like it a lot. And also something else that this makes me think of is the headcanon that Meg 2.0 is not the original demon, but is like, Meg Masters the human after she died and went to Hell, like, becoming a demon.

G: Aw.

C: Which I like, because like, that, maybe explains why the new Meg’s vessel has like, long dark hair, and like, she doesn't want to bleach it or anything because it seemed like that was her preferred look before Season 7. So yeah. I missed her. Good to see her again.

G: Yeah.

C: And Dean goes, "Oh my god, Meg?" And she says, “Hi!” And then, there's like, a cut to ads.

-

G: And, you know, Dean realizes that this is not demon Meg. This is Meg Masters, as in the girl that was possessed by the demon. And Meg is angry. She's saying that like, “I was a college girl. And then one night, I just got jumped by the demon, and I was a prisoner for the whole time." And she was saying that she was awake the whole time and she watched the demon murder people. And then Dean says, like, “I'm sorry.” And this is how Dean reacts to everyone. [C laughs] Like, he just goes like, “I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

C: Sowwy.

G: And like, at some point like, we see it like, be a trick in a way. Because he's like, saying, “I'm sorry. I should have saved you” while trying to reach out for a weapon. But like, in general, this is the vibe with Dean. Like, “Sorry, my bad!” [laughs] He literally says "my bad." [C laughs] And then Meg is like, “Oh, yeah, you're so sorry you had me thrown off a building?"

C: Stupid ass flashback.

G: And she says that, yeah, she said that she was waiting and praying that somebody would help her. But, you know, Dean, who was supposed to help people, didn't help her.

C: Yeah.

G: She's mad Dean keeps saying sorry, and it's a whole thing. And like, yeah. It's like, just her kicking Dean around and shit.

C: Mm-hm. She's so right.

G: And in the car, the two girls are like, holding the Bobby down-

C: Hold on. The last thing that Dean says before it cuts to Bobby is "We did the best we could." Fuck off. [laughs] No, you didn't.

G: I mean, they didn't know. They were unaware.

C: It's true, they didn't know.

G: But like, they should have known. They should have known.

C: Yeah, it weird- in "Phantom Traveler"-

G: Yeah, exactly.

C: They exorcised a demon from the co-pilot, and he was alive after that, and he was a person before and after that. Like, they should have known. There's no reason that they wouldn't have known.

G: Yeah. They just didn't think about it that much, which is what Meg is talking about. "You just didn't think about it."

C: Yeah, hunters just try to focus on killing the demon and consider the vessel a lost cause most of the time already. Which is highly unforch.

G: Yeah. And then back in the outside world, Bobby is being held down by like, two girls. They're like, they have their hands on his mouth, in a like, “Stay silent, Bobby,” that way. And then they're saying like, “Are you scared, Bobby? Because we were scared when the monsters came for us, and you were right there, and you passed by our door, and you didn't do anything. You could have saved us, but you didn't do anything,” [C laughs] and it's a whole thing. And we start cutting back and forth from Meg to Bobby. With Meg's side, it's like she's saying that she had a little sister who loved her so much. And then, when they found Meg's dead body in the morgue, the sister killed herself.

C: Yeah. And Meg, you know, appeals to Dean's mirror instincts a lot with that when she says like, “You know how little siblings are, right? How they'll do anything for you.” And I like, this a lot because I also think about how like, when Meg was a demon, like, she tried to trigger Sam’s mirror instincts in “Scarecrow” by being like, “Oh, like, my family like, wanted to hold me back, but like, I needed to like, get out and be independent and stuff.” And I don't know. The way that human Meg fits into her human family structure also makes me think about how like, right now, she is like, an older sister so she's being a Dean mirror, but like, back then, like, she was Azazel's daughter, and, like, her demon brother sort of seemed like her older brother in a way, so like, how Meg's family position determines which brother she decides to like, try to like, relate to or whatever? Anyway.

G: Yeah, but this is not Meg. That's a different Meg.

C: Yeah. That is a different Meg. But I feel like they are considering both of them in the way they write either of them, I would assume.

G: She's saying that like, the reason why her sister is dead now is because of Dean, and it's a whole thing. And then back in the car, like, Sam just starts opening up random ass cars. I respect that. I respect that.

C: Yeah, same.

G: He's like, "Bobby, are you here? Bobby, are you here?" And he's prying open trunks and everything until he sees like, a reflection up in like, an elevated car? I don't even know what the positioning is here.

C: Oh, I thought what he noticed was that the car mirror was frozen over for that car only.

G: Oh! I didn't know that. I thought he saw Bobby from the mirror.

C: That's probably also part of it.

G: He opens the door, and then, like, it's a whole thing. Like, Sam falls down, and then we see a shot of Bobby, like, overlooking Sam. And I thought that was like, so goofy for some reason. I don't even remember why. I was like, "That's goofy."

C: Indeed.

G: Yeah. And then Dean takes a gun out and holds it over Meg. And Meg says, like, “Silly. You can't like, damage me with a gun.” And then Dean goes like, “I'm not shooting you,” and then he shoots upward to this iron, like, fucking chandelier, and it falls over Meg. And as he falls backwards, he goes, he says, [dramatically] “Iron." [laughs] That's so stupid!

C: The damage that Sam and Dean have wrought to Bobby's house over the years is incalculable.

G: Incalculable. But also just the fact that he was like, "It's iron," like, no one. To no one. Nobody's there. It's just him. "Iron." He's so stupid.

C: He is quite stupid.

-

C: So we cut to a little bit later. Everyone's safe, and Dean mentions seeing the brand, and Sam is able to recreate it from memory-

G: He's so smart.

C: - and Bobby says, “Okay, let's go somewhere safe.” Yeah, he's so smart.

G: This guy has photographic memory or whatever that's called. Photogenic memory? [laughs] I don't think so.

C: No, it's photographic, I think.

So Bobby takes them to the basement, and then he takes them to the famous panic room! Which I know of as the place where they hold Sam for all his demon blood detoxes. Whoever came up with the ceiling fan, like, moving a lot, and like, light coming through so like, there's like, a shadow that's ever-shifting, and like, the sound that's there the whole time, like, deserves a raise. Like, whoever on the set design department did that. Because it is such a good feature of this space.

G: Yeah, and like, it's fun, like, right now, because it's like, the boys are super impressed by this, and they're like, "Wow! This is so cool, Bobby! I can't believe you hid this from us, Bobby." And it's fun. And I just, like, you know, once you watch the rest of the show, you kind of remember this room specifically for housing Sam later.

C: Yeah.

G: And so like, it's fascinating that this is how it begins with like, Sam and Dean super super impressed, and then it like, becomes a room where Sam is imprisoned. Like, it's fun.

C: Yeah, I agree. And it's like, circular, and apparently it's built like, entirely of iron and coated in salt, so like, it is safe from ghosts and demons. Right. And it is pretty cool, but Sam and Dean call it like, the coolest thing ever like, 20 times, in the next like, 5 minutes, and by the end of it, I was sick of this room.

G: Yeah.

C: There's like, some stupid bit where, like, Dean notices that there's like, a poster of a woman in a swimsuit like, on the wall. Does Bobby not know about the Internet?

G: I don't think this is like, a pornographic thing. Like, you can just have a picture of a lady in a swimsuit.

C: The way Dean reacts to it, though. And also, swimsuit magazines, like, back in the day, that was the closest that a lot of people got to porn or whatever.

G: Yeah, I don't think Bobby- I mean, do you do you guys have in the US, like, those beer calendars? Where it's like a lady in a bikini?

C: Probably? Probably.

G: Yeah.

C: But this was just an image from a magazine. [G laughs]

G: I mean, yeah, I suppose. You know what's fascinating is that we have those calendars- We don't put them up. But like, we have a relative who works at the beer company. [laughs] And like, it's so funny to say "the beer company" as if there's only one-

C: There is only one.

G: - but like in the Philippines, there's like, one big one, and like, he works there. So we always have at like, Christmas gatherings, it's like, "Oh, the calendars for the next year are out!" and he's like, distributing them to everyone, and it's a whole thing. I just think it's so funny.

C: That is pretty funny.

G: And it's like, "Oh, who's the model this year?" And it's like, "Oh, it's her! Hm, hm," and it's a whole thing [laughs], I think it's so fucking funny.

C: [laughs] Good for the model this year.

So later, Sam and Dean are like, making like, either iron bullets or salt bullets for beating the ghosts. And Dean says- well, Dean, just rediscovers the Problem of Evil or whatever again.

G: Yeah. Didn't he discover this earlier in the show?

C: In "Sin City"?

G: Yeah.

C: I think so. And probably also in "Houses of the Holy." [G laughs] God.

G: Yeah.

C: It's so annoying when people do this. Like, everyone's already gone through the "Why do bad things happen to good people?" debate. Like, Dean thinks he's being soo smart for this. Like, shut up.

G: Well, we all have to start somewhere.

C: [laughs] I guess so. Alright. So he says that he can't believe in God because if everything's random chance, then it's okay for like, random, horrible things to happen to good people. But if he does exist, then why isn't he stepping in when everyone is getting torn to shreds? So yeah. I mean, this is the free will show. We'll find out the answer.

G: Yeah, at some point like, Sam just looks over at Bobby, in a like, "Bobby, can you answer this?" type of way. [both laugh] He's like, "Bobby, you can go talk to him. I don't wanna." And, Bobby just goes, "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole." [laughs] I thought actually that was that one was pretty funny.

C: Okay. I am glad you found it funny. I feel like, it fell pretty flat for me. I just don't think that-

G: No, what I found amusing was Sam being like, "Um... Bobby?" [both laugh]

C: Yeah. That part was funny.

G: Like, not Bobby's comment. But Sam being like, "Well, I mean, Bobby's here. Maybe he can answer." So real.

C: Right. "What does the lore say about the Problem of Evil, Bobby?" [G laughs]

G: Yeah.

-

C: So Bobby finds out that the brand on the ghosts the Mark of the Witness. So, apparently, if someone dies of supernatural causes, they can be forced to come back as ghosts by someone. And when they wake up they're in agony. “Like rabid dogs,” he says, so their actions are not their own fault. And they don't know who exactly rose these ghosts up. And apparently, this event is called the Rising of the Witnesses. That is part of an ancient prophecy from “Revelations” in the Bible. He makes like, some like, joke about the Bible, where, like, Dean asks, “What book is that from?” And Bobby is like, “Well, the widely distributed version’s just for tourists, you know," like, okay, haha, whatever. And apparently, this is a sign of the Apocalypse.

G: You know what I was thinking this scene? I was thinking, “Goddamn. Bobby is so good at research!” [both laugh] Like, what the fuck? Could never be me.

C: He doesn't even PDFs. He can't even Ctrl+F. Like, he has to flip through books with his hands.

G: He can't even Ctrl+F, he can't even look shit up in Google Scholar.

C: He doesn't even have those little rubber thingies that you put at the end of your fingers to make it easier to turn pages.

G: Yeah, he has to lick his finger! [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Ew

C: Ew.

G: So they keep on talking about what, you know, the Apocalypse is. And well, Sam’s like, “Okay, so what do we do now?” And Dean goes, “Let's go in a road trip, baby! Like, I don't fucking- Grand Canyon, Star Trek Experience. Bunny Ranch!” And I thought that was funny.

C: Well, do you know what the Bunny Ranch is? 

G: No. No. Is that a bad thing?

C: Well, it's not- It's one of the few legal brothels in the US that is located in Nevada.

G: Oh!

C: It's like, very expensive, I think. But apparently, the owner, who, I think, was alive at the time this episode aired is like a- was. He's dead. - Was a fucking creep who like, raped his workers a lot. So yeah. But that was not known yet. I feel like that came out around 2015.

G: Got it. Yeah.

C: But yeah, no, it'd be so fun if Dean just wanted to go to like, a petting zoo with bunnies, [G laughs] but I don't think that's what he's saying.

G: Yeah. Bobby, like, you know, refocuses their discussion from like, the Apocalypse back to "What the fuck are we going to do with these witnesses?" And he says there's a spell, but they need to get out of the panic room. So they go to the library, where there's a fireplace where they control the- I don't know, spell after. And then, as they go out, we see Ronald. [C laughing] As in like, they're walking out of the panic room and up the stairs, Ronald’s just sitting there. And Dean is like, happy to see him!

C: If you don't remember who that is, that was Dean’s best friend who he just let go [laughs] in "Nightshifter."

G: Yeah! I can't believe Ronald come back! I can't believe our best friend is here!

C: Yeah. Yeah. And I think he literally was Dean’s best friend who he just let go.

G: No, but like, do you see the way Dean, like, fucking lights up?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, he's like, "Oh, Ronald!" Like, he literally was so happy to see him. That's literally his best friend. [C laughs] And then, you know, Bobby shoots Ronald while he's saying like, “I was dead because of you! You're supposed to help me!” And like, Bobby shoots, and Deans like, “[gasps] My best friend, and I just let him go yet again.” [C laughs]

C: We know from like, the lore that these ghosts are like- they do contain the original consciousness of the people in them.

G: Yeah!

C: So why do they all talk exactly the same? Why did Ron and Meg have the exact same line about how “I died because of you, and you were supposed to help me”?

G: Well, maybe like, that's the mark talking, you know. It's the brand talking or whatever.

C: Interesting. So like, you think that there is sort of like, a script that Lilith fed them that goes with their consciousness now?

G: Yeah. I suppose so.

C: Okay. Alright. I'll take it.

G: It adds to the creep factor because, like, I don't know. They're all the same, I think the only unique one was the kids, actually.

C: The kids were so boring, though.

G: Yeah, they're boring because we don't know them. But like, it's like, unique in a way, you know what I mean? Because it's like, they're not like, kicking, screaming. They're like, "We're gonna do the thing that you do when you're kids where you cover your mouth and your nose until you pass out," or whatever. Do kids actually do that?

C: I don't know.

G: I used to do that to myself, like, "I'm gonna see how long I can not breathe," and you just cover your mouth and your nose.

C: Yeah, I think I've done that, but I was always a weakling, and I never succeeded at getting past like, 20 seconds, so.

G: Yeah. And then they go to the library, and they start setting up. So like, Bobby sent Sam to get something, and then Dean to get something as well. The girls, like, the twins show up at Bobby, and they talk to Bobby, and then Bobby shoots. Like, Meg shows up-

C: To Sam, who's upstairs.

G: At Sam. She says that, like, “I suffered for months, being possessed by a demon. And now you're just doing the same thing- you're just like, hanging out with Ruby. How many girls has she fucking burned through for kicks like me? And then you're not sending her back to Hell. You're a monster!” And then Sam shoots.

C: Yeah. Two things about this. Like, first, I'm surprised that since she apparently can like, read his mind and know everything, I'm surprised she doesn't bring up that he also got possessed by Meg. Or that he doesn't bring it up.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, they're one of the two people around who have had that experience. Second, we learn later from "I Know What You Did Last Summer" that Ruby is currently very ethically possessing her body.

G: Yeah!

C: And that Sam was the one who urged her into that.

G: They specifically do that to make sure that, like-

C: They can fuck.

G: - when they eventually have sex, like, it's like, not fucking weird and bad, you know?

C: Yeah.

G: I respect that. I respect that.

C: I respect that. [G laughs]

C: What?

G: I mean, they do that to Cas as well. [laughs]

C: Oh, right. They kill Jimmy Novak off, so that in 5.03, Dean can make sure Cas doesn't die a virgin.

G: Yeah.

-

G: Henriksen shows up at Dean, and Dean goes, "Victor!" and Henriksen goes, "Dean!"

C: It's insane, the- okay, like, Deanvictor is so fucking real.

G: Dean starts saying, like, “I know it's my fault” and blah blah blah. “The minute I heard about the explosion, I thought, ‘I should have known. I should have protected you.’” And like, he tries to reach out for his gun, but like, it gets flung out of the way. And then Henriksen says and reveals that they didn't actually just die like, from the white light. They were fucking tortured for 45 minutes. And then, like, Lilith skinned Nancy, and then made everybody watch, and Henriksen was the last one to get flayed, I suppose.

C: Yeah. We saw the white light, though. This is a retcon.

G: Maybe it's like, white light is like, to get them to another place where she can do her bidding or whatever.

C: Okay, sure.

G: And like, maybe it's like, soul, though. Like, maybe like, the souls, are the ones that were tortured. Like, that's also a possibility. Because they- their bodies exploded. Like, when it exploded, they were able to recognize the bodies as like, Henriksen was here, and Nancy was here-

C: I don't think they were able to recognize the bodies 'cause they said that Sam and Dean also died.

G: Oh, 'cause they said that Sam and Dean are there. Yeah, I suppose. Anyway, Henriksen says that like, “Why is it that I had to suffer and I had to die, and then you were raised from Hell? Like, it's unfair. Why do you deserve another chance, Dean?” And then Sam comes in, shoots Henriksen. And then they go back to the library. It's a whole thing. Bobby's chanting, and then like, wind is happening everywhere.

C: This is the last line Henriksen says, right?  We promised in the Q&A that we would actually talk about him this episode, right?

G: But I have no idea what to say. I don't want to force like, a conversation.

C: I mean, yeah, I feel like the main things to say about Henriksen is just that, like, he was set up as like, a potential future hunter and ally, but they only did it to make his death more tragic, which is annoying.

G: I don't even think they made his death tragic.

C: That's true. They didn't make his death tragic. It was just like, sudden flash, whatever whatever.

G: And like, even now that, like, he got tortured like, the whole point is still like, about Dean, you know, and all that shit.

C: Yeah.

G: And like, "Why is it that Dean gets to have another chance?" Like, that's the main question.

C: Yeah. That is true.

G: Yeah. So they're back at the library, wind is everywhere, Bobby's chanting. The salt line is being un-salt-lined. It's a fight scene, basically, where all the ghosts are trying to attack, and they're losing salt bullets. And, like, Dean picks up a fire poker and starts slashing at these people. Sam gets cornered to a wall by a desk, [C laughs] and like, he goes, "Dean, protect Bobby!" And Dean literally does such a bad job. Like, bang-up job there, Dean. Like, because, like, a ghost literally tries to get Bobby's heart at some point

C: Oh, yeah, Meg-

G: Which we forgot to mention-

C: Oh, yeah. The way Henriksen tries to kill Dean is that he like, reaches through his chest to try to stop his heart, and he's only stopped by Sam shooting him with salt. And for Bobby's case, Meg, I think, like, tries to grab his spinal cord through his back, which I think is very neat. But then, yeah, doesn't happen.

G: Like, Bobby accidentally lets go off the bowl, and then, like, it's a slow-motion thing where he tells Dean, "The fireplace!" and Dean like, gets the bowl and throws it to the fireplace, and the fire burns blue, baby! And then the ghosts disappear.

C: Yep.

-

C: So-

G: Oh my god, you're taking the scene!

C: I guess I am taking The Scene. So we cut to later that night, and Sam's asleep on the couch and a little T-shirt, and he looks so cute. And Dean's asleep. But then he wakes up, and... guess who's in the kitchen, guys? Guys, guys. Who's in the kitchen? It's fucking Cas! It's fucking Cas.

G: It's Castiel!

C: Ahhh! He's literally there!

G: It's so-

C: He's wearing his trenchcoat, his hair is messy, he looks amazing. Yeah?

G: They do it so well. Like, the vibes of Season 4 Cas is so immaculate.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, especially in this scene, I don't even know how to describe it. It's almost- it's electric. It's like, when Dean was walking towards him, and it's like, so quiet and like, Dean is whispering and Cas is just speaking in his normal voice, like, I don't know. It's like, oh my god! It's so good!

C: His presence is just like, so like, captivating, and I don't- What did they put in the water? God, it's so good. It's so good.

G: Literally.

C: Yeah, Dean makes sure that Sam's asleep before he goes to talk to Cas, which, like, why? [G laughs] Whatever. Who cares. At least we get this scene out of it. So Cas lets Dean know, "Excellent job with the witnesses." He says that he was “uh, made aware” of what happened. Agh, I love what he talks vaguely and in his dry little voice with his little face. He's soo good. Dean does like, a sarcastic like, "Thanks a lot for like, helping like, save us" blah blah blah like, his general like, "Why, isn't God interfering?"

G: Yeah, he says, “You know, I almost got my [both] heart ripped out of my chest!” And I was like- I like that line delivery. Like, I like it.

C: Mm. And Cas basically just rolls his eyes and goes, “But you didn’t.”

G: “But you didn’t.”

C: Ahhhhh! I want him sooo bad. You know, Dean's like, “I thought angels were supposed to be nice and stuff.” And Cas says his iconic line of “Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier.” Yeah you are, baby! And, you know, Dean is not satisfied with this, because Cas did not perform his soldierly duties, but Cas says that he is not here to perch on his shoulder and that “We had larger concerns.” And ah. No, okay. The way he goes he goes like, "I'm not here to... perch. On your shoulder."

G: "Perch. On your shoulder." Yeah.

C: Like, I love where he chooses to like, pause in his sentences. Like, he's very good at drawing out the tension, and like, making it seem like he's being very deliberate with all his word choice-

G: Yeah!

C: And also like, barely- it's like, every word he manages to say, it's like, he's just- he's deigning to give Dean like, a sentence. You know what I mean? Like, he seems like, just mildly annoyed the whole time, and I love that vibe.

You know, Dean's mad that, you know, "There were people getting torn to shreds down here.” And he also asks, “Where the hell is God, if he even exists?” And you know, Cas says immediately, “There's a God,” but like, we know that he is doubting somewhere inside of his mind, or that he will be doubting, and that is fun.

Cas says like, his whole “The Lord works-” and Dean says, “If you say mysterious ways, so help me, I will kick your ass," and then we get a fun second after he says that where like, his eyes flicker a bit and he looks a little nervous, where he goes like-

G: Yeah!

C: - "Oh shit, I just told an angel I was gonna kick his ass even though the last time we saw him, literally no human weapon could work on him, and he was exploding the entire sky." And Cas does like, this thing where he like, makes an annoyed- I don't know how to describe it, but he like, lifts both of his hands as like an, [annoyed] "Okay."

G: He's amused. He's amused.

C: He's amused.

G: He's like, "Look at this little guy. Look at this guy. Threatening me, making- like, telling me to fuck off and die." Like, it's fun. He's a hater for real. Dean's a hater, and Cas is enjoying the haterisms.

C: Yeah, truly, truly. And he asks about, you know, the Sign of the Apocalypse stuff. We get like, a fun shot where, like, after Cas does his hands thing, he's sort of looking off to the side, and he sort of turns his neck back around to talk to Dean, but like, something about the way he swings his neck in that scene, [laughing] I'm just obsessed with it.

He, you know, confirms that the Apocalypse is happening and that there are 66 seals that, once they're broken, will start the Apocalypse. And apparently, Lilith did the spell, and she killed 20 other hunters. Fuck yeah, baby! He also says that Lilith has a certain sense of humor, which is fun. Because we also know that Uriel’s the funniest angel in the garrison. Like, I want to know what like, the idea of humor is in angels’ brains. Cas finally reveals that what happens after you break all the seals is that Lucifer walks free. And Dean does not believe in Lucifer, and I choose to believe that it's because of that one time in Season 3 when he said “Speak of the devil” when Ruby showed up, and Ruby said, “I don't believe in the devil.” [G laughs]

G: I love when she lies.

C: I know. What he says is that he thought Lucifer "was just a story they told in demon Sunday school." And, like, you know, a demon if like, they're being genuine, saying like, “Oh, I don't believe in the devil,” like, does give that exact impression.

G: Yeah, like, it's like, atheist vibes. Yeah.

C: [laughs] Yeah. But Cas says, “You know, three days ago you thought there was no such thing as me.” And he reveals that this is the first time angels have walked among humans in 2000 years.

G: Untrue.

C: Which, I guess Lily Sunder doesn't count 'cause they don't actually interact with humans besides taking them as vessels.

G: Ah, that's true, that's true, that's true.

C: Well, I guess Lily Sunder is a human. Is she a human? Akobel’s the angel and she's a human, and they shack up? Is that right?

G: Lily Sunder is a human person.

C: Okay. Then yeah, I guess he is just lying.

G: Yeah, they retconned that.

C: They retconned that.

G: And I love that. Thank god they did.

C: Yeah. I'm glad.

G: That episode’s so fucking good.

C: Dean’s really mad about how, you know, the witness seal got broken, even though they were able to send them back, and how the angels have done a bad job at preventing Lucifer from rising again. Cas says that they tried, and he also mentions that 6 of his brothers died in the field this week, which is the first time we hear about other angels, right?

G: Yes that's true. But also, I want to point out that, this scene, like, starting from the "There are other battles. Other seals."

C: Oh, the zoom?

G: Dean- like, the choreography of this scene is such that Dean goes from looking at Cas from like, in front of Cas to going at Cas's side and leaning against like, a kitchen calendar, or wherever they are. And then Cas moves to move in front of him. So the camera angles in this scene are very close to their faces-

C: Yes. So close.

G: - and it's like, super tense. It's super tense. And it's so good! Like, it's so good! [laughs giddily] It's so good.

C: Yeah, they are like, breathing each other's air. They are- it is intense. And I really don't think Supernatural ever gets more close up on a face than it does in this scene.

G: Yeah.

C: We see  Cas's beautiful, beautiful eyes. He's the only person in the world who doesn't have to wear brown contacts. [both laugh] I will allow him to have blue eyes.

And he says, “You think the armies of heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. [both] You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.” [both] And then he disappears! Oh, god, he's so hot.

G: And like, there's also a moment there where he like, leans in further, and Dean turns his face away before he says, “You should show me some respect.” And it's like, so threatening. Like, they do such a good job of making Cas actually like, this cosmic being that's like, he's not out to get Dean. He's not bad. But he’s still terrifying.

C: Yeah. If he happens to kill Dean, like, because he's being annoying or an inconvenience, then so be it.

G: Yeah, like, he's not like Lilith, where he's taunting Dean, and he's just like, “I'm just gonna stand here. And also, if you're annoying, guess you'll have to die. [C laughs] Guess you'll have to go to back to the 40 years of torture.” And it's like, it's true- it's like, I don't know, because, like, at this point in this story, it's not like- We know that's not true. Seeing it here now, it's like, "Ooh."

C: Ooh.

G: And like, we see that Dean is obviously shaken, because, like, Cas disappears, and he like, looks around like, in a way that's like, almost head-shaky. And then he jolts awake.

C: Yeah.

G: And he's like, it's the same face he's making at the counter that he's making as he jolts awake, and it's so good

C: It is. It's very good.

G: It's fascinating how they do like, an entire episode that was so boring- [C laughs] Like, not boring, but like, the case, wasn't like, good. As we mentioned, like, Henriksen comes back, Meg the vessel comes back, Ronald the best friend comes back, and it's a whole thing. But, like, as you said, all their features were so generic where like, they didn't feel like real people, or like, they didn't feel like the people that they were. And they didn't feel genuine in their anger. So like, it doesn't really impact you as strongly. And then, at the end of this episode, you just have this scene tagged at the end, and it's fucking amazing. And I'm not even saying this in like, I don't know, like, Destiel goggles or Castiel goggles. But like- Maybe I am. Maybe I am. I can never remove them. [laughs] But like, it's just- It's excellently shot. It's like, I don't why, but like, having Cas around in Season 4 at the very least really just elevates it so much.

C: Yeah.

G: I feel like it's a similar effect to when Ruby comes in and then goes like, "I'm the girl who just saved your ass." It's like the same feeling, but like, obviously, it's a different vibe, you know? But like, the feeling of like, "What is that?" That's the feeling that you have for Cas right now. Like, "What is going on with this guy?" 'Cause like, technically right now, he's not a character yet. He's just a vessel for plot, you know? But like, even then, he's brimming with personality, he's brimming with character. And like, not to give Misha Collins credit, [C laughing] but I think it's his fault. [laughs] Like, I think it's because of him. He did a good job of portraying Cas. Just like how I think if, like, we got to Ruby 2.0 to play Ruby 1, it wouldn't be the same. Like, I wouldn't be as attached to Ruby. 'Cause like, Ruby 1, Katie Cassidy- that's her name, right? Like, she does- she did such a good job of portraying like, Ruby, that even when she was like, being a vessel for the plot only, and she wasn't like, a fully fleshed-out character yet, we still thought she was like, amazing. And that's kind of what's happening to Cas right now.

C: Mm. I will not give Misha Collins anything. The spirit of Castiel, who's a real guy-

G: [laughs] Possessed him.

C: - who exists possessed him.

G: Yeah.

-

G: So Dean wakes up, right? And Sam like, walks over him. Well, first of all, fascinating that they don't have rooms in Bobby's house.

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: Like, I think it's implied that they did at some point.

C: Right, they stayed there after John's death. Like, did they just sleep in the living room the whole time?

G: Yeah, it's fascinating. Like, to be clear, like, Sam is sleeping on the couch and Dean is sleeping [both] on the floor. In front of like, the divider of the kitchen and the living room. And I respect that.

But like, basically, Sam is walking over to him, and you see the cut of Sam's jeans, and it's like, a bootleg cut. I love that.

C: Yeah. Good for him.

G: He's so Y2K. [C laughs]

C: Also, like, more Sam things. After he sits down, you know, he's pulling his flannel on, and then he, like, smooths out his bangs in like, one quick gesture that I thought was soo cute.

G: And Dean says like, “So you got no problems believing in gods and angels?” to Sam. And Sam's like, "No." Dean says, "So I guess that means you believe in the devil, huh?" And Sam is like, "Why are you asking me this, Dean?" And it's just Dean, like, close up. Not close up, but like, it's on Dean's face.

C: Yeah, and it's zooming in.

G: And that's what ends-

C: Weak ending. You should have just ended it in on Cas.

G: No, but I liked him waking up.

C: That's true.

G: Like, it adds to the feeling of like, "Is it even real?" Like, "Is it even real? Is it like-" what's the term? You know, like, the confusion of the situation, it adds to that. So I love that.

C: Yeah. That's true. The ambiguity.

G: Yeah, that's the term. The ambiguity of the situation.

C: True.

-

G: So, what do we think about this episode?

C: I liked Meg- Meg Masters the human- coming back, I feel like, because I liked Meg, and I also care about demon-vessel relationships a lot.

G: Yeah.

C: I am glad to see Henriksen again, but I think he, Ron, and the twins just really did not have that much going on in their dialogues. Like, I feel like, if they talked more specifically about the things they lost, like, I'd care more. But it's just generic, like, "I died, and it sucked." Like, okay.

G: I think with Meg, I like- 'cause like, I don't know. Like, I think there's this assumption that if you're- or maybe it's my assumption- that like, if you're a vessel for a demon, and then, like, the demon unpossessed you, you're like, a good person. Like, you know what I mean?

C: Yeah.

G: Like, the demon is like, worse than you. So like, I think, a part of me, especially because of how we saw Meg the vessel die, she was still trying to be helpful, she was like, nice to Sam and Dean. And maybe that's what she is like, when she's not a "rabid dog," as Bobby you put it. But seeing her be like, angry, and be like, pissed off at Sam and Dean is like, fun because like, a part of you thinks like, "Oh, she's not Meg anymore. So she's gonna be nice," and then she isn't. Like, I like that.

C: Yeah, I do like that.  Cas section was good.

G: Cas section was fucking excellent.

C: Yeah, I mean, I feel like I generally did like this episode, but I feel like a lot of what they tried fell flat for me. It's just that they tried so many things that enough things worked for me that I was still interested.

G: Mm-hm. Okay, what's our Best Line/Worst Line? At the top of my head, I have a best line and a worst line.

C: Alright.

G: My best line is, "I am not here to... perch on your shoulder."

C: God, he's so hot.

G: Because it makes me think of Cas like a little bird. [laughing] And he's perching on his shoulder. It's cute.

C: Yeah. Yeah. Build a little birdhouse in your soul.

G: Also, like, the whole implication- like, you know, thinking about it moving forward, like, "I'm not here to perch on your shoulder," but like, Cas literally does become like, the angel on their shoulder.

C: Yeah, he'll just wait here, then.

G: Yeah. Yeah! God! [C laughs] You just reminded me of that fucking episode. I know people hate 10.05, but have we considered that, like, I'll just wait here, then / that's what I'll do?

C: Yeah.

G: Have we considered that John and Mary, husband and wife, as that one Tumblr post said?

C: Bringing home a brand new life. Yeah.

G: Yeah. His name is Sammy, and I'm [both] big brother Dean.

C: A perfect family, or so it seemed.

G: So it seems. Ah! So good.

C: Ah, god. Best line? I feel like for equality, I feel like I should pick a Meg line, but I can't- I can't find one. I just liked the general vibe of what she was saying.

I think, okay, I'm gonna go with- Dean goes like, "Well, we thought," and she goes, "No, you didn't think." And she says, like, “I was trapped in there, screaming at you, 'Just help me, please.' You're supposed to help people, Dean. Why didn't you help me?” Because, okay, that stuff gets old once more characters reiterate it throughout the episode, but I feel like at that moment, it was quite impactful. And hopefully, it shapes the way Supernatural talks about vessels in the future, and it shapes like, what Sam does with vessels throughout Season 4, but I have no hopes

G: For me, my worst line is [dramatically] "Iron." [both laugh] It's so stupid!

C: Yeah, it's pretty dumb. I guess mine is "This is what I looks like before that demon cut off my hair and dressed me like a slut." But just the "dressed me like a slut" part. The "cut off my hair" part, I'm quite interested in. But like, just, "dressed me like a slut," being juxtaposed with like, the flashbacks of Meg like, having no inch of skin showing [laughs] is just incredibly stupid.

-

G: Okay, we have our spreadsheet.

C: Yes.

C: I mean, there were tastes of misogyny, but like, very small ones, I'd say, compared to usual Supernatural.

G: Yeah, I don't think it warrants a point.

C: Yeah, and I don't- Well, we said that for the last appearance of every character, we would evaluate their storyline, so this is the last appearance of Henriksen, kind of.

G: But it's not even Henriksen. That's not even him.

C: Okay, so let's just skip that also.

G: Yeah.

C: Okay. And I don't remember any homophobia. So I guess we've got zeros across the board.

G: Oh my god, Sera Gamble! She won today.

C: She did win today.

G: I mean, the episode was boring, so like, not that much, but-

C: It wasn't that bad.

G: It's not bad! I mean, last episode was masterful, so, I mean.

C: That's true.

G: Okay, IMDb. What's your guess? I would say an 8.4.

C: Okay. I feel like it's gonna be a bit higher than that. I'm gonna guess a- because people are still riding the high of 4.01, and they still think that Cas is interesting, and they might enjoy seeing these characters come back. So I'm gonna go an 8.7, actually.

G: Okay. Let's see. It's an 8.5.

C: Oh, nice, you win.

G: "Editing weakens an otherwise great episode."

C: Yeah, the editing sucks.

G: "There is something that bugs me so much. This is an otherwise fine episode of an entertaining program." Is it? "I simply cannot forgive media representations of events whose primary basis is Biblical mythos,  [C laughs] misnaming a book in their primary source material."

C: Oh, was it not-

G: "The name of the book is The Revelation of Jesus Christ to John the Apostle."

C: People fucking call it Revelations!

G: [laughing] "The only acceptable truncation is The Revelation. I immediately lose respect for writers of Bible-themed fiction who don't get this simple fact straight."

C: God, that's so funny. Someone ended their review with, "And Sam, you always forget the pie. And why do you get to sleep on the couch and Dean on the floor? The man just got out of Hell. [G laughs] He needs some rest. :("

G: So real. [C laughs]

G: "Misha Collins is so great as Castiel [C sighs], that even on the third viewing, this episode's greatest scene remains the single one he appears in. That should be telling enough."

C: That's literally just Cas. I don't know who this other guy you're naming is. [both laugh]

G: "It's so heartbreaking that Dean thinks he doesn't deserve saving! The backstory is far more interesting than the main ghost story, although it's a neat little horror piece." That's true.

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, I think that’s it for this episode of buh-buh-buh-buh-Busty Asian-

C: [laughing] Why? Why did you do that? [both laughing] Go ahead.

G: [laughing] Next week, we will be discussing-

C: Is this your thing about how you want to be a DJ? [G laughing]

G: [laughing] Next week we will be discussing- what is it? Season 4, Episode 3- oh my god!

C: Oh! Fuck yeah.

G: "In the Beginning." Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts. C: Follow us on social media! We are on twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. And thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod. Also, check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com. G: Yeah. You can leave us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at our email, bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com.  See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

What Dreams are Worth

"Ellis, I see your heart. I know your pain is great, in that you've been turned away left and right by your people," Lord Harrow said. "Everywhere you've gone, you've been met with cruel and unjust denial. You seek any way to be closer to knights, in hopes that you may know just a fraction of our glory because your mortal birth dictates, as a bastard, you're not permitted to become a noble, and therefore you cannot become a knight yourself. Your own father tells me you're nothing but a leech. But I don't believe him for a moment. I don't trust a single word that leaves his lips."

Ellis sighed, lowering his head as he clutched his heart. "I just wish I could have the future I want. It's not fair that my parents' faults became my punishment… I--have I done something wrong?"

"Never," Harrow replied. "You've been nothing but good to me, and I am grateful for that. I'm grateful for you."

"What difference does it make? I'm damned either way, kindness or not. The future is bleak, and I have to live in the shadows of everyone else for the rest of my life… There's no escape…"

Harrow shook his head. "That isn't true.” Looking at his squire sincerely a moment, the Vampire smiled. “Tell me. If you could become a knight, what would you do?"

Ellis took a deep breath, thinking a long while before he broke his silence. "I'd try to make a difference in this life. I'd do whatever it takes to help everyone else that needs it whenever possible, and give them the hope they need, striking down all injustice for their sake with my every swing. And maybe… maybe this world would then see my worth… Maybe I'd be known as more than just a bastard child…"

The Vampire smiled. "Well… you've already done that last part. It's only right I help you with the first."

Harrow pulled his squire back, pinning him against himself. Bearing his fangs, he turned his head, and pushed Ellis's aside, revealing the Human's neck.

Ellis gasped. "Milord! What are y--"

Harrow quickly pierced his squire's throat, holding him still as he drank away, and gifted his own essence in return.

Unable to do anything beyond tremble, Ellis felt himself paralyzed by the bite, forced to succumb to his knight and master entirely.

But after just a few moments more, Harrow removed his fangs, grinning.

"Your mortal birth may dictate what you're capable of among Humankind, but every Vampire was once Human. And all of us are, therefore, are capable of achieving nobility all the same," said Harrow. "But you have been gifted your new blood by myself, the Knight-Lord of Iloria, and by rite you are now a young lord all the same. And now I must simply teach you what I know. All that I have learned over many centuries, so that you, too, can become a knight."

Ellis's paralysis subsided by this point. Nonetheless, he remained silent, looking at his master. "Why?" he broke the placidity with. "Why would you give this to me?"

"Because I've watched you, hurting and lonely since you arrived here in Iloria, and after I met your father and he named you as he did to me directly, I knew I couldn't let him win. For your sake." Harrow smiled, holding Ellis close to himself gently now. "You've got a life to live, and nothing should prevent you from achieving your dreams. I am a Knight-Lord, and you gave whatever you could to serve me for the last few months. It's only right I return this favor, and set you free of the burdens which hold you back--from the binds that keep you away from a dream that lies within reach. So spread your wings, my son. Bear your fangs to your foes, and fight for the good you wish to see in the world. I'll help you. I'll be there. Every beat of your wings, every lashing of your claws, and every bite. I will show you the way, and you will make your glory known."

----------------------------------------------

I'm having so much fun making these!! Seriously, I'm overjoyed to be bringing my characters to life at long last. My OCs are getting me through the toughest time of my fucking life, and so is art. But OC art???? Bro it's giving me reason to live.

[cr0ftisprocrastinating]

Hello, me again being just perfectly normal as per usual.

I just finished listening to your INCREDIBLE playlist for HDG, and it's... did I already say incredible? It is very incredible. Wildly eclectic in all the best possible ways. I was SO PLEASED to see Babylon Zoo and Kula Shaker in particular! (no Tattva though?? how dare you it was the first guitar solo I ever learned) Anyway it brought back many many memories, so please find them all enclosed lol

I'm on holiday and have LOTS of time to kill, so I have constructed a sectioned, annotated list ❤️

The Best Song

Reef - Place your hands

I think this might be the best song ever made in the 90s? It's lived in my head forever. APPARENTLY the lyrics are "place your hands on my hope" but I have been singing "on my hole" for so fucking long and I will not change now. Those are the real lyrics as far as I’m concerned. Anyway it’s so joyful!

Songs that people don't remember until they hear them

Suede - Beautiful Ones - The chorus definitely rings through Hermione’s head whenever a Slytherin walks into the room lmao

Supergrass - Alright - I feel like I heard this song every single day for a decade

Stone Roses - She Bangs the Drums - Their most pop song and holy shit its good

Ocean Colour Scene - Riverboat song - Not only amazing, but also the intro riff was the soundtrack to TFI Friday with that bastard Chris Evans (the other one)

Corner Shop - Brimful of Asha - Oh god this song hahah. Another one that was played so much it just became the general background noise of life

The Seahorses - Love is the law - I dunno if anyone even remembers John Squire had another band after the Stone Roses, but he did and this track was the only song of theirs I ever heard but it was enough that I remember them

Catatonia - Mulder and Scully - Is there anything more 90s than the X-Files?

The Divine Comedy - Something For the Weekend - Inextricably linked with the above in my head for reasons I can't remember. Maybe just because they're both spooky??

The Mavericks - Dance the Night Away - The happiest break up song ever made?

Juggernauts of the era

I mean these need no explanation so I mostly haven't bothered, but Bittersweet Symphony was literally the sound of an entire generation (and the music video? Just walking down a shitty street, disconnected from everyone around him, singing about hopelessness while dressed all in black, barging uncaringly past people??? IT MEEEE lol). Also a reminder that Things Can Only Get Better was the Labour Party song when everyone thought Tony Blair would save us from the conservatives 🙄

Verve - Bittersweet Symphony

Oasis - Cigarettes & Alcohol

Blur - Girls and Boys

Pulp - Common People - 🎵 Rent a flat above a shop, cut your hair and get a job 🎵

Prince - 1999

DReam - Things Can Only Get Better

Songs I don't think necessarily fit your playlist vibe but I remember fondly anyway

Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees - One of my faves, it’s so fucking depressing lol. “She lives with a broken man, a cracked polystyrene man” 🥹

Ace of Base - All That She Wants - My dad loved Ace of Base for some reason? Which was weird because he mostly just listened to Pavarotti

4 Non Blondes - What's up - Still find myself regularly singing Heeeeeeeeayyy yeaaaah yeaaah yeahhh constantly 

The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode - E’s are good, gettit??? It’s such a blatant, smirking middle-finger to The Establishment that you’ve got to kinda love it, even if it’s fucking irritating to actually listen to hahah

Shaggy - Oh Carolina

Wet Wet Wet - Goodnight Girl - I did NOT listen to Wet Wet Wet. But my mum did, and this song was in heavy rotation, so I still know all the lyrics

And as this is an ask, I've prepared an actual question! Do you listen to music while you're writing? I can't, I get too distracted by the lyrics and I lose the ability to write words!

OK that's it I'm done have fun! <3 xx

Stars…your name is fitting because you are what?? HEAVENLY.

I will be adding all of these to the playlist tomorrow. Even if they don’t ‘fit the vibe’. The vibe of the playlist is - there is no vibe! It’s like what if Hermione and Theo bought every single weird mashup CD to occupy them in their little copy room, and therefore ANY and ALL bangers are welcomed hehe.

Re: writing to music - it depends on my mood! When I am struggling to get words down I definitely think it helps to focus me in the right ‘tone’. For NETG I used that miserable playlist a LOT lmao. Sometimes I get overexcited though and have to ‘dance around my room’ - a thing I have done my entire life and is not dancing at all, rather me hurtling from one end of my room to another, grinning madly as the made up people in my head do things I want them to.

I always try and convince myself I can listen to music while I study. This is always a lie. One day I’ll grow out of it, but not today

[chriskeithley]

Don't wanna die, don't wanna fry, don't wanna lie, don't wanna cry, don't wanna buy

Don't wanna grow, don't wanna hope, don't wanna rope, don't wanna slope, don't wanna slide

Don't wanna flee, don't wanna fly, don't wanna fight, don't wanna tribe, don't wanna bribe

Don't wanna joke, don't wanna smoke, don't wanna choke, don't wanna cloak

Listen with your eyes

Read between the lines

Lies, lies, lies

Liar liar, pants on fire

Kill the king! Seduce the squire!

They'll tap your feet! They tap the wires

They'll clap your hands if they're for hire

Creepy monsters, sleepy men

Please just go the fuck to bed

Fast before you're fucking dead

Reason with the dreams you dread

Creepy monster, sleeping man

Weaker than the weakest lamb

Tough enough to bluff and scam

Weep with me now if you can

Because I'm leaking like a broken sink

That someone else tells what to think

And someone else tells what to wear

And someone else says when to care

And someone else says who to call

And someone else says whose at fault

Then someone else turned into me

And I turned into every thought I think

I live in them and they live in me

We've been thinking all this time for free

But I've been counting someone elses' sheep

And I've been watching every single week

And I've been paging doctors night and day

And I've been watching every move they make

I wonder who it is that watches me

And how do they know what to see

And when will we be face to face

And how will we all like the taste?

So listen with your eyes

What I really

What I really

What I really wanna know

I really wanna know

What I really

What I really

What I really wanna know

Really do

Wanna know

Really do, really do, really do, really do

Wanna know!

I would like to kno-kn-kn-know-kn-kn-know-kn-kn-know-kn

wanna know, wanna know, wanna know?

I would like to know

I would like to know

Thank you!

No

Thank you!

No, thanks to you!

[bucketofdrugs]

The breathless sound in her voice drew that animal from within, the monster that he was wanting to hear her sound like that so many more times. He wanted to make her more than breathless, hear every little sound he could drag passed those lips, find out just how loud his loudmouthed vault dweller could be.

The interruption helped quell some of the beast's desire, if nothing else, keeping him from completely devouring her while still laid up in what was essentially a hospital bed. He didn't want to hurt her. He'd done enough harm in the past, nearly drowning her for a scientist's head and selling her for parts among them. He didn't want to do anything to make her feel worse now.

He didn't need to see the squire to know what sort of look they had given him. Her attempt at protectiveness only started well after she'd reawoken. He'd seen the disgust when the bird landed, when they tried to take her from him, and every time they braved the tent thereafter. He knew what the Brotherhood of Steel thought of him, of what he was, and that any cough would be enough for them to come put him down. Maximus was, apparently, an exception, and the only reason he was allowed to stay in the first place.

Because of Lucy. Because the other option was letting them go, with how ferocious he had been when she fell.

Something about her sweet tone sounded wrong and until she actually swore, he couldn't quite put his finger on why. It explained so much when she did, and he couldn't help the soft chuckle that fell from his chest when he heard it. "There's my girl," he practically hummed with excitement, buzzing over her simply saying a single, tame swear word. He used harsher language, especially toward the Brotherhood, but for Lucy, that was practically cold.

There's a long pause before he drew back to look at her, his tongue drawing over his bottom lip slowly. "While I don't think that I was fully aware 'til you planted one on me, I'm also pretty sure you could've hopped on for a ride after that first delightful sexual conversation and I wouldn't have complained one bit. And honestly, sweetheart, with the threat of radiation, fuckin' a ghoul is a little daring."

He leaned back in to nip at her lip. "Tying a man up and havin' your way with him isn't exactly a 'normal' sexual desire, either. Not that you'll find me complaining about it. Anythin' else you wanna try, you just eat your kinky little heart out."

She could never tell him the effect his voice had to her alone, or he would use it for evil - she could already imagine the way he'd get her to forget everything she was saying simply by speaking in her hear in that tone.

"I meant before," she whispered, left breathless by the way he had moved his leg in a position that made her want to get a lot closer. And she couldn't also tell him that her wounds would hurt too much if she did, because he had been so concerned before that she had the bad feeling he'd stop right there and then. He always prided himself to be selfish, and she wanted to trust he'd be, but no, maybe not to that point. Even if she wanted him to.

The interruption left her needing a second to reel her feelings in, but she kept a hand on the back of his head and patted it comfortingly when he rested against her shoulder. She saw, though, the look on the knight or squire or whoever it was, and knew he had to be one of those. The ones who could not see ghouls as people. A surge of protectiveness came, but she kept her tone cheerful as to not alert Cooper of anything, "No, wait a second, excuse me, could you please let Maximus know I'm awake and safe? And that I'm... discussing some very important, very private things with the Ghoul, but we can see each other later? Please and thank you."

She couldn't have sounded or smiled sweeter, while still comfortably keeping her arm around Cooper's neck, but as soon as he was out, the expression froze on her face and faded into one of coldness. People didn't get it. Maximus had. They had spoken of it, and his worry came from the Ghoul's whole persona, which she could accept, not from his radiation level. But other people? "What a dick." She chose when to swear very carefully, which was why Cooper had been the target the first time, completely deserved, but 'butthead' couldn't cover that guy, with the look of judgment and disgusted that had flashed on his face when she had let Cooper rest his forehead on her shoulder.

"Anyway! I was just saying, had I known you'd be interested we could have done this for months. I thought you were kidding. Because I'm... Vaultie and not... dark and... I don't know what the word for that is, but I'm not particularly daring and crazy when it comes to sexual preferences. What do they call doing 'extreme' things out here?"

[sinningsquire]

Chapters: 30/31 Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren Characters: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Dopheld Mitaka, Pryde (Star Wars), Bazine Netal, Clan Techie (Dredd) - freeform, Armitage Hux, Zay Versio, Maize Raynshi Additional Tags: Fix-It, TRoS Spoilers, Very Temporary Character Death, They're both canonically dead before the SW tech steps in, Enemies to reluctant friends to eventual lovers, Unresolved and unacknowledged sexual tension, A parade of Star Wars minor characters and locations, Jealousy, Feelings Realisation, Developing Relationship, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Miscommunication, One hell of Hux's backstory, Post-Star Wars: Battlefront II, Canon-Typical Violence, Force Collector (junior SW novel), First Time, it's literally both of theirs first time, Corruption to the Dark Side Summary:

Hux was past caring who wins. He just didn't want to lose.

[frankcastleonlyfans]

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐄𝐔𝐃

pairing: dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader au

summary: alyssa argues with y/n. daemon argues with alyssa. it seems we are all fighting here. based on this ask by @green-lxght <3

warnings: really angst, family fight, a lot of sexism bc this is a medieval set, alyssa is a brat (because daemon is a brat), y/n is a good mom she doesn't deserve this, alyssa is 14 in this one.

author's note: my darling @chaosfae-writes gave me the idea that y/n should pull off an alicent and says something like "you are no daughter of mine", but i did the opposite 🥴 hope this still hurts lmao. this is divided in 3 parts otherwise it would be huge, i'm so sorry .

reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. support your content creators 💓 please leave a comment if you like my work, and enjoy your reading.

dad!daemon x mom!reader au masterlist

gif by @fireandbloodsource

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ୨♡୧ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·

You and Alyssa had a complicated relationship. You don't talk to each other to have a proper conversation like a parent and a child should always do.

You blamed yourself. Alyssa was a young lady now, she had her own thoughts and judgments, and had passed the age of bonding with her parents.

Daemon was the lucky one. An inseparable bond they shared, while you only had your boys.

You promised not to get it wrong with Viserra, and that she would see you in the same way Alyssa sees your husband.

Even though you thought it was too late to repair the damage, you would still invite Alyssa to evenings of tea and embroidery with you. It became your thing since your last pregnancy.

And she hated it. The princess was terrible with the needle, and you always seemed to be amused with the amount of times she could poke her finger with it.

And you couldn't deny that you did find funny how someone could be so clueless with a needle that big.

"You're doing it wrong, darling." You chuckled as she huffled, setting her disastrous embroidery on the table.

She looked at you, furious. How dare you be having fun at her failure!?

"I have always been doing it wrong! I can't do it at all! I shouldn't be sitting here, embroidering and drinking tea, like a little wife who has nothing better to do! My place is in the field, training, fighting, with a sword in my hand!"

You frowned, nervously chuckling this time. What has gotten into her?

"You are not sitting here like a little wife. You are sitting here like a lady, because that's what you are. That's what you were raised to be."

"I am blood of the Queen conqueror, Visenya Targaryen. I am a dragonrider, a warrior! I am a dragon, and I will not be told what to do anymore! Father supports me, and I will make uncle Viserys give me a place at the Kingsguard."

You couldn't believe your own ears. The audacity your daughter had was completely blindsided by the fact that your husband supported that idea, and had never mentioned it to you.

To be part of the Kingsguard. To be a knight, to never marry, to have no family. Your only duty is to have honor, and fight for your King. You have desired for that once, before Daemon, before all of this. You would not see your daughter follow that path.

"Face it, Alyssa, you're a woman! A girl, actually. You are a lady, you have duties to the family, to have heirs!"

"You are being hypocritical. You were a swordswoman once, before marriage. I rather serve as a Knight, and ride to battle in glory!"

"You’re right. I married, I had children, I had you. The child bed is our battlefield. I don't care what kind of silly dreams you have, nor that Daemon has been feeding it, but I will not have my daughter saying these kinds of absurd things!" You said sternly, trying not to lose composure.

"You are no mother of mine!" Alyssa yelled, before leaving the table to the company of her maid.

And that's how that feud ended up in the ears of the staff. The maid told a milk maid, who told prince Rhaegon's squire, that mentioned it with prince Daemon's cupbearer.

And the Rogue Prince heard every single part of the conversation.

part 2 !!

[viatagrinner]

Silvio Ricci. Chapter 20

The gazebo.

Rio confesses his feelings for MC, but accepts that she does not love him.

Rio: As you can see, right now he sees you as a "thing," so I wouldn't trust him with you.

Rio: But if only he really cared about you...

Rio: ... If only there was a moment when I could really think, "Oh, I've lost."

But if the heroine is happy, so is he.

The girl thinks about what she would do in his place. And these thoughts bring tears to her eyes.

The feeling of guilt does not disappear. But she is relieved.

_________________________________________

The Benitoite Embassy.

The prince sits, idly watching his father.

Silvio's incompetence is troubling the king. The next ruler of Rhodolite has not yet been chosen...

Silvio pretends not to know what he is talking about. But after all, one of Gilbert's tasks is not to allow Silvio to shirk his duties.

The King of Benitoite: Yes. This young man will report every act of treachery on your part.

Silvio: I'm not hiding anything.

_________________________________________

Silvio: I've talked to Gilbert several times, and this thing just hangs out in front of you like a tidbit.

Silvio: You go for the bait, and there's a hungry beast waiting for you. You're not going to go and be eaten by a hungry beast, are you?

The King of Benitoite: You don't understand anything. Even if the beast doesn't take the bait now, eventually it will make its move.

The King of Benitoite: You know as well as I do that Obsidian's military might is far greater than we can imagine.

The King of Benitoite: This monster has single-handedly advanced military technology by more than a century!

The King of Benitoite: You know what the scariest thing about this country is?

Silvio: Where "anyone can become a soldier"?

Silvio: It doesn't matter if the more powerful the weapon, the less skilled the user.

In general, Obsidian has more population, and therefore more troops. Technology is advanced, but Benitoite has a better economy.

If the king unites with the empire, the Rhodolite kingdom will disappear.

The King of B.: You know this, and yet you refuse to do your duties?

Silvio: Ha, you're weakening, geezer.

Silvio: You're trying to gain Obsidian favor and sell the country on the best possible terms, aren't you?

Silvio: If you're a defeated country, you have no choice but to do what they want.

An alliance with the empire threatens to break with Jade and Rhodolite.

And other countries will turn into enemies.

The King tells Silvio that there is no cause for concern, for the "young Obsidian" can unite the entire continent.

The King of B. tells him that more and more countries are surrendering to the power of Obsidian, we need to work together, then Benitoite will endure. It is better to let "everything be painted black".

Silvio shocked by his father's words....

Silvio: I think Valerio would disagree with you, old man.

The King of B.: Politics has nothing to do with personal feelings.

The King of Benitoite: But as a gesture of goodwill, I will at least protect the young lady in my own country.

_________________________________________

The king notices that something is wrong with his eldest son.

He sneers.

The King of Benitoite: The seed of the broken union was sown by myself. Soon it will sprout.

The King of Benitoite: You must cherish it to the end. The next time you make a mistake, you will know it.

Silvio:....

The King's plans:

Rio and MC go with him to Benitoite. And if the eldest son refuses to obey the king's "absolute" order, he will be forbidden to return home.

The King of Benitoite: ...If you are the son of this obnoxious woman, at least be useful.

The king is gone, Carlo, Silvio's squire, supports him.

_________________________________________

Carlo is angry at the king because Silvio has done so much for his country. The poor guy is even shaking with anger.

Silvio understood that sooner or later it would be like this, they "don't have time" to "kick thе geezer's ass".

Silvio:...... She's going to hate me, isn't she?

Carlo can't calm down:

1. The king is so good to his beloved son, but Silvio has to do the dirty work.

2. No one really cares about Rio more than Silvio.

Silvio threw a pillow at him and Carlo fell, making a sound.

Silvio: One more word and research costs will be cut.

Silvio: Playtime is over.

They walked out of the embassy.

Chapter 19

Silvio's Masterlist

[howyouloveyourdragon]

tldr; kira i'm obsessed and i love you

It was a huge deal because now she was old enough to wed. Or to be more precise, sold off. This was unbeknownst to her at the time of arrival, of course.

vizzy istg ill gut you

She followed him when she was young because she simply was curious about the youngest Hightower boy.

stop that's so cute

He was agile, precise and swung his sword with a purpose.

much like his co---

but he looked good,

What he did not enjoy was the prying eyes of a bastard who thought her presence was going unnoticed.

THIS BITCH

He hoped his existence plagued her and her brothers minds every single day of their lives just like theirs plagued his own.

pffft emo phase aemond >>>>>

Jacaerys, the oversized puppy dog

MY MAN YESSSS

Aemond looked unbothered, too caught up in his own delusions of grandeur to notice her.

AJAKKS YOU CALLED HIM DELUSIONAL IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY PFFFTTT

He wasn’t as rotted as she thought, Viserys was lacking an arm, but his face remained intact.

i had a sneaky little giggle

The Hightowers never liked Gaella or her brothers, nor did they like them. 

bby dw i got your back i'm a whore how much _____ will fix this war

Nothing of substance, simply Viserys

tbf you could've stopped the sentence there sksksk

Gaella’s eyes traveled between her mother and the queen, who were currently trying their best not to gaze at each other. Though, Alicent was failing desperately at this game. 

these bitches are in love and horrible at it

It was unbearably awkward but not as bad as the eye contact, she was holding with Aemond.

☠️

“We are having a celebration to give you the chance to look at suitors. Much like what I did for your mother.”  Her face dropped into a frown, “suitors?” Gaella choked out a laugh,

You are blessed to be able to have a choice.”

well it doesn't sound like a choice if you're forcing her to make it, does it

She was more like a feral cat used to catch mice.

in other words; she's gone thea mode

“He would be proud I still had both eyes.” 

pfffffttt

“Spoiled brat.” His words seeped out his lips like venom. “Insolent cunt.” Her words spewed out of her mouth like dragon fire. 

awww they're flirting

“Would it truly be that terrible to share common interests with a princess?” Aemond let his lip curve into a smirk. He leaned down so his face hovered above hers, “Only if it is you, Strong.”  Gaela stood on her tip toes, so their noses were almost touching. “I don’t believe you, one-eye.”

ajskdkjdjf

Aemond watched her smirk lightly and immediately regretted his kindness. She leapt up and placed a quick kiss to his cheek and took off into the other direction.

“what exactly are you doing?” She smiled up at him, her brown eyes twinkling in excitement. “I’m the squire for a mystery knight.” 

i've got a good feeling about this

“A mystery knight? Or a secret lover like your mother?”

THIS BITCH

She turned around and put a finger to his mouth, shushing him. He swatted her hand away with an annoyed expression. “Please. Please, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.” Her hands were placed gently on his chest and her eyes were as wide as a does again. He would admit it was nice to hear her beg. “Aemond… Are you listening?” 

AWWWWW I WANNA SQUISH HER MY SMART BABY

 “I’d just rather not see a girl die such a violent death.” He stepped back, secretly mourning the loss of her hands.

your war crimes disagree with you

“It’s not normal to be as tall as you are stupid.”

this

“And you have a chest like one!”

YOU BITCH

“Where is your sister?” Rhaenyra leaned into Jacaerys ear and whispered. “She wished to watch from underneath the booth. You know how entranced she is by knighthood.”

“This is almost therapeutic.” Jacaerys said to his mother with a wide grin. Rhaenyra hushed him and pointed back at the field. She thought it was rather humorous but had to keep a straight face. 

i love this man so much

“You’re impressed, aren't you? I can’t for the life of me figure out who that is.” Rhaenyra spoke completely unknowing of what she was seeing.

The stands were silent in surprise, but one small voice could be heard from Jacaerys. His proud eyes were drawn to the mystery knight and confirmed what he already suspected - the mystery knight was his sister; Gaella was competing for her own favor. All eyes turned to him, and he sunk down into his chair. Hopefully, no one had heard him. 

WOOOOOOOOO

The tourney had taken a violent turn once the Blackwood knight knocked the Tully off his horse. Tully pushed himself off the ground and a battle of real steel began. The hate the families had for each other ran deep even in festivities. Blackwood dropped his sword and lunged at the man and began beating him senseless. They both rolled around the ground trying to mount the other and claim victory. 

i love all this imagery people tend to skip action scenes in stuff like this but honestly some of my favourites

Daemon noticed Otto grasp his chair a little harder and chuckled under his breath. The final round was beginning and he decided to place a bet. “Jacaerys… ten gold dragons on the Baratheon.” Jace turned his head to stare at Daemon and for a moment wished to correct who he should be cheering for. He decided to keep it a secret a little longer, “The mystery knight will win… they have to.” Daemon raised an eyebrow at his step son and turned his gaze back to the arena. 

MY SWEET BOY IS SUCH A GOOD BROTHER AHHHH

He could tell that the fight was escalating to something more dire, and he leapt from his seat and ran down onto the sands of the arena. He couldn’t say what possessed him to go and try to rescue her, it was against his nature. His body moved far faster than his mind could think it through.  Jacaerys watched in horror, his jaw hanging agape. Daemon pulled his eyes away from the brutality and watched one-eye rush downstairs. Jace’s adrenaline began to take as he got up from his seat. He was her big brother, and he would rescue her. 

AHHHHHHHHHH i love this so much

Just as it seemed that the Baratheon had the advantage and victory was nearly in sight, the Mystery Knight pulled off a cunning move, headbutting the knight back and then using their legs to kick him to the ground. The mystery knight rose to their feet and held their sword to the Baratheon’ throat. The crowd erupted into cheers once more. The knight stumbled back on their feet and raised their hands in the air signaling victory. 

she's such a slay

Aemond was unfazed by her aggressiveness. “What are you, the queen of reeds?

he he said he did the thing

“I just watched you beat a man twice your size, you are far from a lady.” 

“You won’t be able to hide the bruises. How do you intend to get yourself out of this?” He stalked closely behind her. “I proved I was no damsel or would easily submit to a man, whatever comes after is worth it.” Gaella turned and stood closer to him daring him to say something more. “You won’t have to worry about a husband after that display.” Gaella laughed quietly. “Is that what you like? A damsel?” He went to speak but she fell back into his chest dramatically and raised a hand to her head. “Oh Aemond, please save me. There’s a terrible spider. Please, I think I might faint.” 

pfffttt i love her

“Your words are like poison, but your kiss tastes of honey. Now get off before I rip your clothes off.”

slay

Aemond traced his tongue along the path her fingers had taken. Her legs gripped around his waist tighter and the aching feeling between her legs became more uncomfortable. "Aemond," she breathed. "Open your eyes." When she did, he kissed along her jawline until he reached her earlobe. Her entire body tensed, and she dug her nails into his back.

this is so intimate oml

He whispered, "Are you sure? You won’t be able to get another husband.”

bae what makes you think she gives a flying fuck about that

“Good girl,” he whispered into her ear.

yall need to stop using these words against me it makes me the worst kind of person and you know that

She was begging him to cum in her.

O_o

Unbeknownst to them a pair of eyes were watching from a distance.

uhoh

Queen of Reeds

Synopsis: Gaella was not happy to come back for the reason she did and was even less happy when the first person to greet her was an uncle with one eye. It didn't stop there, he seemed to show up at every corner. An enemy to despise, that's what Gaella was taught to see him. However, it is said that hatred is the closest thing to love.

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon (strong) OC warnings: enemies to lovers if you squint, descriptions of violence, name calling and insults, OC is childish, NSFW (smut), Aemond pretending he isn't a simp. word count: 8,000+ note: repost for the lovely @morasakura2023 I added some bits in and also if this does well, I'll make a part two.

It was the first time Gaella had been back to King’s landing since she was a child. It was by request of the king, her grandsire, to celebrate her upcoming name day. It was a huge deal because now she was old enough to wed. Or to be more precise, sold off. This was unbeknownst to her at the time of arrival, of course.  

Gaella had an issue with returning home. Her issue being a rather tall blonde with only one eye. In childhood she lurked and watched his every move and now, ten years later, she’s carefully maneuvering her way through the crowds watching him duel with Ser Criston. 

She followed him when she was young because she simply was curious about the youngest Hightower boy. Gaella overheard rumors of a betrothal so it made sense to try and find out more about him.

Now the reasons were far different. Aemond was, whether they liked it or not, the black's current biggest threat. Not only did he ride Vhagar but from what she was observing he was a rather skilled swordsman. No better than her, she trained herself to be the best. He was agile, precise and swung his sword with a purpose.

Her eyes roamed over his form. It was hard to admit, and she almost gagged at the thought, but he looked good, starkly different from the boy she knew. It seemed she wasn’t the only one to notice this. The few women of the court standing outside were practically swooning. It was gross in her humble opinion, to fawn over men, especially Aemond ‘one-eye’ Targaryen. 

Aemond thoroughly enjoyed when the crowd watched him and the mixed emotions that would form in the pit of their stomachs. The combination of admiration and fear drove him to excel in his daily lessons with Criston. Obviously, his constant need to prove himself did not falter over time though he tried to deny it. 

What he did not enjoy was the prying eyes of a bastard who thought her presence was going unnoticed. She stalked about the onlookers the same way she did at the funeral and the same way she did all the years she lived at the keep. Her fascination with him was creepy but expected considering how he had grown. The brat was probably envious of him and frightened at what he’s become.  

Good, that’s exactly what he wanted from them. He hoped his existence plagued her and her brothers minds every single day of their lives just like theirs plagued his own. It drove him to show off, to prove he was better than them all. 

He swiftly dodged Criston’s swing and aimed the tip of his blade at his opponent’s neck. The small crowd erupted into applause fueling his already enlarged ego. A subtle smirk carved its way onto his face. He peered over in the direction he assumed she was standing. His mouth opened, prepared to taunt her.

She had vanished. He let out an annoyed huff of air and took his position again. Aemond would have to wait to quarrel with her until later. 

-

Lucerys and Gaella were dragging their feet to the family supper. “Do you ever notice how uncle stares like he wishes to devour us whole?” Gaella spoke under her breath. “No. I avoid looking.” She let out a deep breath laced with apprehension. “I have this strange foreboding that this will not end well.” 

They stopped at the large double doors and stared at the cedar trim. Luke’s anxiety slowly seeped into her own skin. Their feet began to unconsciously move backwards. Until two large hands grabbed them both by the shoulders, nearly making them both fall forward. “Come on guys! We’re about to see our dear family again.” 

Jacaerys, the oversized puppy dog appeared from behind with a smile as vast as the sea. It annoyed her how well trained he was to keep face. It was good at pretending to like people and be nice. “Gael… Smile.” She turned to look at him and faked a grin.

The easy part of taking the first steps inside was over. Finding a seat that wasn’t directly across from her uncle was harder. It seemed they had forsaken her to be the one trapped in his view for the entire night. Aemond looked unbothered, too caught up in his own delusions of grandeur to notice her.

The king was well enough to attend supper though he had to be carried in by guards. He wasn’t as rotted as she thought, Viserys was lacking an arm, but his face remained intact. This did well to inspire everyone not to grab a knife and attempt to become a kinslayer. It didn’t change the fact the feast was riddled with tension. The Hightowers never liked Gaella or her brothers, nor did they like them. 

A short speech was given before they were permitted to eat. Nothing of substance, simply Viserys wishing them all good will and pleading with them to get along. The moment it ended; a nerve-wracking silence took over the room. Gaella’s eyes traveled between her mother and the queen, who were currently trying their best not to gaze at each other. Though, Alicent was failing desperately at this game. 

The only real sounds were coming from Aegon slurping his wine like a pig. The echoes of silverware clattering on plates and Helaena mumbling to herself. It was unbearably awkward but not as bad as the eye contact, she was holding with Aemond. He didn’t falter, not even to eat the food on his plate. When he drank his wine, his eye looked over the glass into her own. 

It was as if he was trying to intimidate her in the middle of a dinner party. “Uncle.” Gaella uttered with a slight nod of her head. It was her best attempt at breaking his unbearable gape. “Niece.” Aemond didn't nod, only kept staring unamused by the view. 

“Are you excited, sweet girl?” Viserys smiled softly at her. Gaella furrowed her eyes in confusion but still tried to smile back. “I’m afraid I don’t know what for.” Rhaenyra patted her father’s hands. She hadn’t told her yet, but it was clear she would not enjoy it by the breath her mother exhaled. “We are having a celebration to give you the chance to look at suitors. Much like what I did for your mother.” 

Her face dropped into a frown, “suitors?” Gaella choked out a laugh, “why would I look for that?” Rhaenyra glanced around the table and took in account who was there. She didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the extended family, It was none of their business in the first place. Solidarity was important to show in the face of potential enemies. 

“Yes, the king did do something similar for me which is how I met your father, Laenor.” Aegon rolled his eyes and sank into his cups. Aemond withheld a chuckle aching to escape his throat at the mere mention of Laenor. Gaella knew what they were thinking before he said it. ‘Strong bastards’ 

 “I have no interest in a husband but thank you grandsire. That’s very kind of you,” she spoke flatly. “It is past time you explore your options, love. You are blessed to be able to have a choice.” Gaella’s gaze momentarily traveled to poor Helaena and her wastrel of a husband. Rhaenyra tried to smile through her words and speak with her eyes: not here, we can do this later. Her glances fell on blind, childish eyes. 

Her sympathy quickly dissipated, she didn’t want to be Helaena or Alicent or Aemma or her own mother. “You wish to sell me like some broodmare!” Gaella’s voice echoed across the table. Anger issues, a trait she inherited from her biological father. A trait Jacaerys also shared but hid behind a masterfully crafted facade. The room stilled, as they all stared at her in awe. Except Aemond, who was biting the inside of his cheeks trying not to grin. 

“You can’t spend the rest of your years alone. I only wish for you to be happy-” It mattered not, she preferred solitude anyway. Gaella scoffed, “And you think sending me to some Lord will make me happy?” Rhaenyra firmly placed her hands down atop the table, “It is your duty.” Gaella pushed her chair out, nearly spilling wine all over poor Lucerys who flinched at the sudden movements. “Why is that? Why can’t I be a knight and die in battle.” 

“That is enough, Gaella.” Rhaenyra spoke in a stern voice. “I am not a whore to breed some man heirs!” Her mother slammed her firsts on the table, and Aegon choked on his drink. Lucerys sank low in his chair and Jacaerys avoided eye contact. “Go to your room… now!” Gaella stumbled back; her eyes threatened to well with tears. She quickly turned on her heels and stormed off.

____________________________________

Aemond watched from a corner of the yard as Gaella furiously swung her sword at the straw dummy and cursed below her breath. It was past time for a normal lady to be in bed. Then again, as she showcased tonight at supper Gaella was no lady. She was more like a feral cat used to catch mice.

It irked him to no end how easily she casted aside duty and so blatantly disrespected her elders with no punishment. He was glad to see one of the bastards finally lose something, but the show was beginning to become pathetic. Her movements were sloppy, and the dummy was all but beaten to rubbish. 

“You would be a shit knight.” She flinched at the voice, and her eyes widened at the sight of him. For just one moment she looked to be an innocent girl, a doe caught in a hunter's trap. Aemond’s shoulders released the tension for a moment, she was still a brat but maybe there was still hope for her. 

“That would still be a better one than you could ever be.” Gaella’s eyebrows furrowed and the grip on her blade tightened. He was reminded, once again, no bastard was innocent. His blood began to boil beneath his skin like a dragon’s. The tension in his body swiftly returned. 

 Aemond strode towards her, but she did not falter. She raised her chin to meet his gaze as they stood mere inches apart. “Hmm what would your father say about your skills, Lady Strong? I heard he was quite the knight in his time.” Gaella stepped closer, unfazed by the vicious insults. “He would be proud I still had both eyes.” 

Gaella was tossing and turning in bed trying to drown out the sounds of a dragon outside when Jacaerys rushed in. “Wake up! Wake up! Someone stole Vhagar.” She pushed her brother’s face away and sat up slowly. “It’s too late, wait until tomorrow.” He anxiously moved in place, “Come on! What if they’re not here by tomorrow.” She let out a tired sigh, “if they stole Vhagar surely they’ll be here to gloat when the sun rises.” 

Jace groaned, “fine! I’ll handle it myself.” She smiled to herself, “good luck with that!” Gaella sank back down into her pillow and listened to the quiet noises of Driftmark. If only she knew what would happen, she might have gotten out of bed. 

 “I could change that, Strong.” Aemond leaned over her, and his breath heated her skin. Her thoughts drifted from the threat of violence and to his form. The light from the moon perfectly outlined his figure, he could be considered handsome… Until you realized he was a snake. She stood higher on her toes, so their faces nearly connected. A pathetic display of dominance from the both of them. “I’d like to see you try.” 

Gaella and Aemond's eyes were riddled with hate as they glared at each other. Neither noticed that they both had gripped their weapons tighter preparing for the other to strike. Their breaths beat heavy against each other’s skin, and the air grew cold around them. “Spoiled brat.” His words seeped out his lips like venom. “Insolent cunt.” Her words spewed out of her mouth like dragon fire. 

The world around them faded away. It was a waiting game to see who broke first, who would elicit the other to unsheathe their weapons. Gaella and Aemond were frozen in place as their chests nearly pressed against each other as their breaths quickened with anticipation. They could feel the tension in the air, the hate between them still strong like an unshakeable force while an unfamiliar sensation seemed to ripple through their bodies. There was a feeling of immediacy and yet neither would make a move. Though the hate between them remained, a small trace of something else was growing inside them, something that was unknown to them before. 

“Gaella! It’s time to go to bed.” Jacaerys yelled from atop the stairwell. She pulled back and her fury melted away, the trance she was in dissolved immediately. “Coming!” Gaella didn't even turn back to the prince; she simply took off towards her brother. Now it was Aemond who stormed off, cursing underneath his breath like a child who couldn’t get their way. The bastards always found a way to get under his skin and ruin his peace, she proved to be no different.

____________________________________

The day before the tournament Gaella decided to spend her energy reading. It was a peaceful past time she had come to love in recent years. She wouldn’t admit it out loud, but it felt nice to be smarter than everyone because of what she read. The contents she was reading now were especially important for tomorrow.

Aemond was in a rather shit mood. Alicent had turned into a worried mess he had to take care of, Aegon disappeared into Fleabottom and he had to go and drag him back and Criston wouldn’t get off his back because he wanted him to train for a tournament, he refused to participate in. All Aemond wanted was to find a little peace.

The library was his favorite place of solitude. It was a time where he could dive into his studies with no interruptions from bastards or wastrels or disheveled adults. As he walked inside his face dropped into one of displeasure upon seeing her sitting in the library. Aemond’s jaw clenched, and he prayed to the seven for a little more patience. Could he not have a moment to himself? 

Gaella glanced up at the source of the interruption. Her annoyance quickly grew at the sight of the displeased expression on the face of the one-eyed prince. Gaella decided she wasn’t going to give him the time of day and shoved the book closer into her face. 

Aemond scoffed and stepped closer, quarreling with her was the closest thing he had to peace today. He was mildly curious about what book she was reading. He always believed she was too dull or lazy to read. In his mind the most she could manage was a fantasy book for children. As he moved closer It became painfully clear she wasn’t reading and was instead waiting for him to do something. 

He elected to ignore her and search for his own book. The silence in the room was overwhelming as he glanced through the books. Gods, she annoyed him to no end. You would think she would leave once I was here, he thought to himself. Aemond wasn’t really looking, merely pretending until she got the hint to leave. 

Gaella peered out from behind her book and saw him standing staring at the shelf. Was he even looking for anything or talking to himself? She slammed her book shut and moved next to him to be rid of her own book. Occasionally she glanced up at him wondering what he was staring at. 

Aemond tightened his jaw once he felt her move next to him. He could feel her eyes burning into his skin from below him. It was too much; her presence was bothering him too much. 

“I didn’t expect you to know how to read.” Gaella rolled her eyes, “Are you stalking me or is it a coincidence you keep stumbling upon my private time?” Aemond moved so he was standing behind her. He plucked a book off a shelf too high for her to reach and brought it down to his chest. “Is it a coincidence you are always in the places I frequent?” 

His breath tantalizingly caressed her neck, making her body flush as if thousands of butterflies flitted around inside her chest. His presence felt like a cocoon of warmth against her back, comforting yet strangely intimidating, it filled her with a longing for something more she couldn't quite understand. “Maybe we have more in common than we’d care to admit.” 

She turned so her back was against the bookshelf and her gaze rose to his own. He stared at her expressionless, “hmm I doubt that.” She chuckled, “Would it truly be that terrible to share common interests with a princess?” Aemond let his lip curve into a smirk. He leaned down so his face hovered above hers, “Only if it is you, Strong.” 

Gaela stood on her tip toes, so their noses were almost touching. “I don’t believe you, one-eye.” Aemond moved forward with force, so her body was firmly pressed against the shelf, and he blocked her in. Their chests pressed against each other as their breathing hastened. Aemond slid his hand up, so it was lightly pressed against her throat. He felt the small gulp move down her throat and a heat rose within him. “You should be careful who you insult.”  

There was not an ounce of fear in her body. Instead, it was replaced by a new, all-encompassing fire that she could not name. She slipped her hands from out behind her and onto his chest. “I didn't mean to affront you, My Prince.” She put a sarcastic emphasis on the word prince. He glared into her eyes and noticed her pupils invading her irises and the light flush beneath her skin. The way her lips parted ever so slightly and the rhythm of which she breathed.

His lower region began to ache, and he let go of her. He stepped back and let his hands fall to his sides. “You don’t hold such power over me, Princess.” Gaella fell back flat on her feet and her face once again grew annoyed. “I need to go.” Gaella went to step away, but Aemond shoved her back a bit.

 He had almost forgotten why he was standing over her in the first place. “If you can truly read, you’ll enjoy this one.” She firmly grabbed the book from his hands and glanced over the cover. A small smirk grew on her face. 

‘A book of swords; the art of combat and strategy.’ 

Aemond watched her smirk lightly and immediately regretted his kindness. She leapt up and placed a quick kiss to his cheek and took off into the other direction. Immediately he felt his face flush with heat and his feet glue themselves to the ground. The sensation in his core burnt brighter. 

Aemond's stomach churned as he was left wondering why, despite the fact that they had never seen eye to eye. He felt flustered, bewildered, and discombobulated all at once. He thought he had been clear that he didn’t like her, but here she had gone and did that. His mouth hung open as he stumbled for the right words to say. 

“Thank you, Aemond.” She yelled as she rushed out. He hadn’t heard her call him his name before either. What game was she playing?

____________________________________

There was a grand tournament being held in her honor. Her family sat atop the booth and watched the competitions being set up below. There were three events of tournaments like these ones. The first would be a test of archery, whomever hit the center the greatest number of times won the bout. Next it was mock battle otherwise known as foot jousting. Knights in teams of two would battle against each other until the remaining team stood as victors. Lastly it was the jousting tournament itself. Knights on horseback would ride against each other and try to knock the other off their horse. Whoever won would be given high praise and the opportunity to crown a princess as the queen of love and beauty. 

“What in the seven hells are you doing?” Gaella, startled by the voice, tripped over the stack of armor below her and into the dirt. “Are you stalking me now?” Aemond scoffed, “This where the men’s tents are. If anything, you were stalking me.” She sat up and reached her arm out. “Aren’t you going to help me up?” 

He impatiently gripped her hand and ripped her off the ground. Aemond glanced around and immediately saw the stack of armor, the sword and the bow lying beneath her. His eyebrows screwed together in confusion, “what exactly are you doing?” She smiled up at him, her brown eyes twinkling in excitement. “I’m the squire for a mystery knight.” 

A green feeling began boiling in his chest. “A mystery knight? Or a secret lover like your mother?” Her mouth formed a crooked smirk, “Is that concern for my virtue? Or is that jealousy I hear?” His face dropped into its normal unamused facade, “curiosity.” Gaella hummed in response and began picking up the armor she laid on the floor. “It’s just odd a girl would squire and for a mystery knight.” 

Aemond paused in his steps and his eyes moved between her and the armor. It was small, too big for her but too small for a man. The weapons? Just the right width for her hands to grasp. The books, the training dummy, the attitude… He chuckled, “Are you competing then?” 

She turned around and put a finger to his mouth, shushing him. He swatted her hand away with an annoyed expression. “Please. Please, you have to swear you won’t tell anyone.” Her hands were placed gently on his chest and her eyes were as wide as a does again. He would admit it was nice to hear her beg. “Aemond… Are you listening?” 

His name rolled off her tongue like honey and seeped into his head. This was stupid, she was stupid. “If you don’t want to die, aim for the feet… the bigger they are, the harder they fall.” Gaella's smile was so bright it rivaled the sun. “You’re my ally now?” 

 “I’d just rather not see a girl die such a violent death.” He stepped back, secretly mourning the loss of her hands. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.” She waved him off and turned back to start getting ready. “You’re the most irritating person I’ve ever met.” She smiled to herself, “as you are to me.” 

He huffed out a breath and turned on his heels. “It’s not normal for women to fight.” She scoffed, “It’s not normal to be as tall as you are stupid.” He turned back around, “must you always argue?” Gaella stood up and placed her helm on her head. “You are like a child!” 

“And you have a chest like one!” There was complete silence before she dramatically wrapped her arms around herself. “My modesty! How often do you look?” Gaella wriggled her eyebrows in his direction. He couldn’t handle being in her presence anymore.

The sound of her childish giggles would haunt him in his sleep. Aemond began to stride off into the direction of the royal boxes, but something forced him to stop. The seven were cruel to him for making him this way. He shouldn’t be nice to a bastard but before he could stop, the words escaped him.  

“Gaella…” The sound of her name from his lips echoed in her ears. He’d never called her anything besides insults before. There was a pause, should he even bother finishing?  “Be safe.” And he continued his silent March back to his family. 

____________________________________

“Where is your sister?” Rhaenyra leaned into Jacaerys ear and whispered. “She wished to watch from underneath the booth. You know how entranced she is by knighthood.” His mother leaned back into her chair and let out a sigh. It was pointless to try and command her to come up here, she was lucky her winter child showed up in the first place. 

Jacaerys nervously played with his fingers as the knights were taking their places in front of the targets. It was all the knights from the main houses and a select few mystery knights. One in particular caught his eye, they wore a helm even though it was not needed for archery. 

It was no surprise the Lannister came in last place. The final mystery knight stepped up to the plate and drew back the string. 

Woosh

It was the first time a knight struck a bullseye  on their first pull the entire day. 

Woosh

They successfully struck another bullseye which knocked off the Stark’s arrow. 

Woosh

It was impossible what he was witnessing. The knight hadn’t missed a single target. He leaned out of his chair slightly to get a better glimpse. 

Woosh 

The arrow cut through the middle of another arrow landing the final bullseye. The crowd erupted into cheers and the mystery knight simply scurried away. The way they ran looked all too familiar. His armor also looked to be forged like ones on Dragonstone… interesting. 

____________________________________

The mystery knight was paired with a Blackwood knight. Both of them were shorter and their armor fit loosely against their bodies. It was a tragedy how easily they would be cast down by the bigger men. Jacaerys sat back in his chair and observed. 

The first bout was against the Hightower and Lannister knight against the victory of the archery match and his partner. The command was yelled, and they began circling their opponents with wooden sticks. Jacaerys turned around to smile at Baela and by the time he turned back they had won once again. Ser Hightower laid flat on his arse with the mystery knight standing above him.

“This is almost therapeutic.” Jacaerys said to his mother with a wide grin. Rhaenyra hushed him and pointed back at the field. She thought it was rather humorous but had to keep a straight face. 

The crowds cheered and jeered the grappling teams going blow for blow in the center of the joust yard. Cregan Stark was the first to draw his sword and charged the mystery knight with a mighty roar, trying to take advantage of the surprise element. The mystery knight nimbly evaded the charge, using their agility and speed to get from one side of the joust yard to the other. The Stark knight struck out again, timing his strikes well but missing each time as the mystery knight danced around their reach. The second bout saw the Tully and Blackwood knights knocking each other back, both of them swinging with ferocity but neither able to find an advantage against the other. 

The third bout saw Cregan Stark gaining the upper hand against the mystery knight. The Stark knight's impressive strength coupled with his tall size and long arms allowed him to land blows that the mystery knight just couldn't seem to counter in time. It looked like Cregan was about to defeat them, but the mystery knight rolled onto the ground and kicked his feet out from under him. The stark went down, and the mystery knight pointed their wooden stick at his throat. 

The commotion caught Tully’s attention long enough for Ser Blackwood to kick him in his chest and send him toppling into the dirt. 

Jacaerys recognized the way the knight moved as if he had seen it a hundred times. His nails dug into the edges of his seat and his breath caught in his throat. “You’re impressed, aren't you? I can’t for the life of me figure out who that is.” Rhaenyra spoke completely unknowing of what she was seeing. “Yes… I can’t figure it out either.” She noticed her son's eyes were glued to the field. It was nice he was showing so much interest in something as foolish as a tournament.

The mystery knight helped the Stark knight off the ground. He firmly grasped and patted his back as a show of respect and solidarity, before whispering something in his ear. Cregan formally bowed his head in recognition, with a proud smile on his face. 

The stands were silent in surprise, but one small voice could be heard from Jacaerys. His proud eyes were drawn to the mystery knight and confirmed what he already suspected - the mystery knight was his sister; Gaella was competing for her own favor. All eyes turned to him, and he sunk down into his chair. Hopefully, no one had heard him. 

Aemond leaned up in his chair and his face looked to be washed over in mild concern. 

Helaena realized he noticed what she already knew. Gaella was competing in the men’s games against everyone’s wishes. She had a dream about this day the other night, but no one understood her during supper. Then again, they never understood her anyway. At least this dream came true, and a bit of confidence returned to her body. 

____________________________________

The horses were lined up awaiting the command to charge. The Lannister knight grasped his lance, and the Tully knight lowered his helm. The horses let out loud grunts and stomped their hooves into the ground sending dust into the air. 

“Charge!”

The two knights took off aiming their laces at each other. The Tully knight landed a blow directly into his chest and threw him from his horse. The sound of his body crashing into the ground echoed throughout the arena. Jacaerys grimaced at the sound waiting for the mystery knight's turn. 

The tourney had taken a violent turn once the Blackwood knight knocked the Tully off his horse. Tully pushed himself off the ground and a battle of real steel began. The hate the families had for each other ran deep even in festivities. Blackwood dropped his sword and lunged at the man and began beating him senseless. They both rolled around the ground trying to mount the other and claim victory. 

Whilst they were throwing curses at each other and being dragged away by their squires the mystery knight was gearing up their horse and preparing to take on Gwayne Hightower. Daemon rolled his eyes at the announcement of the two competitors. “What a stupid fucking helm.” He muttered under his breath and Rhaenyra held back a smirk. 

Ser Gwayne Hightower was in full regalia, wearing a suit of armor and a green cape. Gwayne’s helm did look stupid, it was in the shape of a lantern. His horse wasn’t stupid, it was a fierce and powerful white charger, and his lance was held firmly in his grip. 

At the opposite end of the arena was the mysterious knight, also dressed in armor and a cape, but with no visible heraldry. Their horse was bigger and heavier than Gwayne's, and they held their lance in a menacing grip. 

On the signal from the marshal, both horses galloped forward, faster and faster until the two knights clashed in the center of the arena. Both lances splintered on impact, but the power of their attack was too much for Gwayne. The force knocked him off his horse and onto the cold hard ground. 

Daemon noticed Otto grasp his chair a little harder and chuckled under his breath. The final round was beginning and he decided to place a bet. “Jacaerys… ten gold dragons on the Baratheon.” Jace turned his head to stare at Daemon and for a moment wished to correct who he should be cheering for. He decided to keep it a secret a little longer, “The mystery knight will win… they have to.” Daemon raised an eyebrow at his step son and turned his gaze back to the arena. 

The match began with both men jumping onto the jousting line. The combatants charged their horses towards each other, wind blowing in their faces. As they drew closer, the knight's lances glimmering with the sunlight, their horses' hooves launching clumps of dirt into the air. When they met, both knights delivered a powerful and determined swing of their respective weapons. 

The Baratheon Knight was the first to take a clear shot, striking the mystery knight on the chest and sending them nearly toppling from their horse. But, the mystery knight, being smaller and nimbler than their larger opponents, managed to quickly react and swing their lance from an unpredictable angle, catching the stark knight off-guard and nearly sending them tumbling from the saddle. 

Aemond tapped his fingers against the wood and a slight stress filled his head. She was far too small to be out here. They were going to harm her and bring shame to their house. Yes, he was only embarrassed for her, not at all worried about her well-being, he told himself. 

Helaena smiled softly, “She’ll be fine.” That pulled Aemond’s attention away and he turned to her. “Why would I care if a nameless knight is fine?” She nearly rolled her eyes at his words. “Whatever you say, brother.” 

The remaining two continued their battle, the difference in size and speed becoming increasingly clear. The Baratheon repped his lance under his arm and commanded his horse to charge. The pace the two riders set was faster than before. Their lances struck each other in the chest sending them both to the ground. 

“Sword!”

The Baratheon shouted from the opposite side of the field. The mystery knight rushed over to their corner to grab one as well. Once the mystery knight turned around the Baratheon was already on them. He violently swung his sword in their direction and gave them no room to breathe. 

The Baratheon had the knight completely in his control. In one swift and powerful movement, he forced the knight onto the ground and kicked him hard in the chest plate. The sound of metal clanking sent reverberations throughout the arena. The crowd collectively gasped at the force, but then erupted in cheers for the knight. 

Aemond’s thoughts began to race for reasons unknown. He shouldn’t care, she was getting what she deserved for what had happened to him. Except, she wasn’t even there that night or any night before then.

Meanwhile, the Baratheon knight relentlessly punched the knight in the face. His blows landed with a sickening thud, and he soon had the knight in a state of submission. The knight had no chance to fight back and could only endure the punishment. 

Aemond’s breath hitched in his throat. It wasn’t right for a man to lay hands on a woman like that, he should have them removed. However, the fool below is pretending to not be a man. His jaw clenched together as nervous bits of sweat began to form on his forehead. 

He could tell that the fight was escalating to something more dire, and he leapt from his seat and ran down onto the sands of the arena. He couldn’t say what possessed him to go and try to rescue her, it was against his nature. His body moved far faster than his mind could think it through. 

Jacaerys watched in horror, his jaw hanging agape. Daemon pulled his eyes away from the brutality and watched one-eye rush downstairs. Jace’s adrenaline began to take as he got up from his seat. He was her big brother, and he would rescue her. 

Just as it seemed that the Baratheon had the advantage and victory was nearly in sight, the Mystery Knight pulled off a cunning move, headbutting the knight back and then using their legs to kick him to the ground. The mystery knight rose to their feet and held their sword to the Baratheon’ throat. The crowd erupted into cheers once more. The knight stumbled back on their feet and raised their hands in the air signaling victory. 

 That's when the knight’s helm slipped off to reveal the face of Gaella. A collective gasp rose up from the crowd. The royal family on the balcony couldn’t see her face, only the long hair that cascaded down her back. Gaella took off in the direction of her horse, completely fleeing the scene. 

Daemon knew who it was. Apparently so did a cunt with one eye. 

____________________________________

She made her way to escape from the keep and to her own private area she discovered as a child. Gaella grimaced as she slid off her horse. She apprehensively peeled off her blood-stained armor, the metal clanking against the wooden tree. She stumbled her way to the water’s edge which was heavily surrounded by reeds. 

Gaella dipped her hands into the calm lake and sighed, relieved to be away from the confinements of King’s Landing. The sun shone warmly above her, and the willow trees swayed gracefully in the breeze, providing shelter from the long city. Looking around, the area was filled with bursting greenery, trees, forests, and shrubbery. It was a beautiful, hidden lake, far from the worries of the kingdom. 

The gentle lapping of the water and the faint chirping of birds lulled her into a blissful tranquility. The pain in her body gradually subsided as she waded into the refreshing lake. She muttered her gratitude as the warmth of the water soothed her every aching muscle. 

To Gaella it felt ironic, how this haven of peace was surrounded by such a shit city. “You’ll freeze to death in there,” Aemond’s voice echoed in her ears and embarrassment coursed through her veins. She dipped herself deeper into the water and turned back. “Get the fuck away!” 

Aemond was unfazed by her aggressiveness. “What are you, the queen of reeds? Get out before you die of hypothermia.” Gaella sunk deeper into the water and covered her bare chest with her arms. “I’m indecent! Have you no respect for a lady’s honor?” Aemond glanced around and noticed the bloody clothes spread out underneath the tree. A part of him wished to turn around but the other part yearned for a glimpse. “I just watched you beat a man twice your size, you are far from a lady.” 

Her peace had been destroyed so quickly. She cursed beneath her breath. “I’ll come out if you hand me my undergarments.” Aemond thought about it for a second. It would be exciting to see what laid beneath the metal armor, but he was not like Aegon. He picked up her disgusting underclothes and tossed them at her. “Go on, I have enough decency to look away.” 

Gaella begrudgingly moved out of the water and dragged her clothes towards her. She quickly slipped on her cotton shirt and peered up at Aemond. It was taking everything inside of him not to turn around. He inhaled a deep breath every time he heard her move. “Are you going to claim this is a mere coincidence again?” Her voice was right beside his ear, and he quickly whipped around. He was too deep inside his own head to notice her approach. “Don't flatter yourself, I was following a nameless knight.” 

She chuckled to herself, “Did the nameless knight impress you that much?” Aemond scanned her face for the bruises that decorated her eye and cheek. Gaella’s lips were swollen and a slight cut glowed red. “It impressed some, but I believe tourneys are no true show of skill.” Her face fell and she moved over to collect her things. He always knew how to irk her entire being.

“You won’t be able to hide the bruises. How do you intend to get yourself out of this?” He stalked closely behind her. “I proved I was no damsel or would easily submit to a man, whatever comes after is worth it.” Gaella turned and stood closer to him daring him to say something more. “You won’t have to worry about a husband after that display.” Gaella laughed quietly. “Is that what you like? A damsel?” He went to speak but she fell back into his chest dramatically and raised a hand to her head. “Oh Aemond, please save me. There’s a terrible spider. Please, I think I might faint.” 

Aemond instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist. He stared down at her unamused theatrics. His lips curved into a small smirk without him meaning them to. “Will you quit it?” Gaella let her legs go limp and crashed into him, sending them to the ground. “Oh Aemond why, why have you forsaken such a delicate damsel such as me.” Aemond couldn't contain the amusement growing on his face. Gods, she was the most obnoxious woman he had met. “You are more of a child than Aegon.” 

Gaella gasped in fake shock, and she pushed herself up with one arm. Her face laid directly in front of his and he had yet to remove his hands from her hips. “Are you always so dry or is it reserved for me?” He glanced away from her and turned back with a cheeky grin. “Only for delicate damsels such as yourself.” 

“My disappointment is truly immeasurable.” She pouted in fake disappointment. His lips curled even further, "I knew I could count on you to be the most bothersome woman I ever met." Gaella raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Ah yes, that must be why you have followed and allowed me on your lap.” 

"Is there a point to this?" Aemond asked. He shook his head. "There is not," Gaella said, “unless… you want there to be.” Aemond rolled his eyes but smiled. "You are the worst kind of person." She looked up at him with her eyebrows raised. "What does that mean?" He laughed. "It means you're a horrible tease."

"I am a wonderful tease,” she spoke softly. Gaella leaned closer to him, so their noses were almost touching. The unknown desire in her chest began to consume her again. This time she let it happen. She reached up and placed her hands on his shoulders. The skin of his neck was warm. She leaned closer and he felt her warm breath on his lips. Aemond's heart stopped, and his head swirled. "Gaella," he whispered. "Yes?" she murmured against his lips. "We can't do this." His tone sounded hoarse and unsure. "Why not?" she asked, though she already knew the answer. "Because you don't like me, and I do not like you..."

"I think that is a lie. You want me just as much as I want you.” Her words pierced his chest. The burning sensation in his core began. His hunger for her was only becoming all the more unbearable.  Aemond's blood boiled, he pulled her close to him and crashed his lips into her. Their lips danced around each other, never parting for air. "Aemond," she moaned against his mouth. Her hands reached up and grabbed his hair. He tore his lips from hers and pressed his forehead against hers. The need to taste her body was getting out of control. “You’re cruel, uncle.” 

“Your words are like poison, but your kiss tastes of honey. Now get off before I rip your clothes off.” He pushed her back, but Gaella gripped the collar of his shirt and tried to pull him back in. "Please," she begged. Aemond was lost to the pleasure coursing through his veins. His grip on her tightened with a bruising force. His breath grew heavy. Her lips were so soft and pliant, and he could feel her breathing become erratic. "Shh." He trailed his fingers along the side of her neck and forced her to look at him. "What?" She was beyond confused by his sudden change. "Close your eyes." He kissed her gently on the lips.

She complied instantly and he unbuttoned her shirt to expose the soft flesh of her neck. He trailed kisses down her neck causing her to grip onto his shirt harder. He reached the hollow of her throat and her whole body trembled.  Aemond traced his tongue along the path her fingers had taken. Her legs gripped around his waist tighter and the aching feeling between her legs became more uncomfortable. "Aemond," she breathed. "Open your eyes." When she did, he kissed along her jawline until he reached her earlobe. Her entire body tensed, and she dug her nails into his back. Gaella couldn’t handle the ache between her legs and tried to relieve the tension. She grinded against his buldge trying to ease her tension. He took advantage of her desperate need. He kissed her ear and then moved his hand to cup her breast. 

His cock was throbbing at this point. Aemond move his lips to hers to muffle the moans coming from her throat. It was impossible to not control himself any longer. The yearning for her had become completely unbearable. He slid his hand down to her stomach and pinched the bottom of her pants. He roughly unbuttoned them. He immediately dove his hand into trousers. His hands traced her soaking wet folds and she whimpered into his mouth. “I need you,” she whispered in between kisses. "I know," he growled. "Take them off." Gaella didn't hesitate. She released her hold on him and ripped her pants down.  Aemond stuttered whilst trying to unbuckle his pants. He managed to get the damned belt off and was finally able to let his cock out.

Gaella’s eyes widened at his size. She didn’t have much time to react before he pulled her back down. His cock grinded against her slick dripping slit. She clenched her thighs tightly together to prevent him from slipping inside. Aemond groaned as he grasped her hips and made her grind against him. Her throat released small whimpers as she wrapped her arms around him.  He whispered, "Are you sure? You won’t be able to get another husband.” His fingers dug into the flesh of her ass cheeks, and he pressed her into the ground. "Have I not proven I don’t want another husband," Gaella cried out. Aemond lifted himself back up and pinned her wrists above her head. His cock was inches away from entering her. Her legs locked around his waist again. He lowered himself slowly, “it hurts the first time.”

"Aemond!  Fuck me already," she moaned.

“Spoiled brat.” He growled and plunged into her. Her head fell back, and her eyes rolled back. The pain of being stretched caused her to moan out loudly. She dug her nails into his back. "Fuck!" Aemond groaned. She was so tight. He moved faster in order to escape the discomfort. Gaella dug her nails deeper into his back. She felt him swell and his thrusts became harder. Her pussy clenched around him, and her clit ached to be touched. 

Aemond nuzzled his face into her neck and moved his finger to circle around her clit. He rubbed slow circles around her sensitive bud as he fucked her.  “Fuck, Aemond!” Tears welled in her eyes as her body filled with a new sensation. The feeling of pleasure was all encompassing and caused her to scream out. He sped up and moved faster. His hips slammed into her thighs as his cock hit her cervix. He began leaving marks down her neck where his lips kissed, and his teeth nibbled at her skin. Gaella’s back arched at all of the simulation. She was becoming a dumb mess underneath him. 

"I- I think I’m going to," she moaned as her body clenched around him. Gaella didn’t know what it was, but it was quickly overwhelming her. Aemond watched her face contort in pleasure. His hands moved from her wrists to her waist. He began pumping into her harder and faster. Her squeals and moans grew louder and more frantic. “Fuck- fuck - fuck,” she whimpered as her pussy fully clenched around his cock. Her entire body was filled with an intense ecstasy. Her muscles convulsed around his shaft and her cry echoed throughout the forest.

“Good girl,” he whispered into her ear. Gaella screamed out as her orgasm crashed over her. She collapsed beneath him. Her legs twitched around him and she squirmed underneath him. Aemond was quickly approaching his finish and he tried to pull out of her, "I'm close.” Her eyes held a wild gleam and her lips upturned. Her legs clamped around his waist, and she began grinding her hips into him again. She was begging him to cum in her. "Please, Aemond, cum in me."

He lost all of his self-control hours ago. The desire was too much to bear.  "Fuck!" he yelled as he pumped his cock into her. Her inner walls squeezed and massaged his pulsing shaft. Gaella's nails dug into his back as her hips bucked into him. His balls tightened and he felt his release rushing towards his cock.

"Shit!" Aemond's voice was ragged and strained. He groaned as he came undone, filling her womb with thick hot seed. Her pussy milked him as he emptied the last of his seed into her. 

Aemond dropped on top of her as her chest heaved. Gaella understood now why men always sought women to fuck after battle. It was as if she had won twice in a single day.  

They both lay under the trees, panting. Aemond was still buried deep inside of her. They stared into each other's eyes, neither one of them wanting to break the moment.

He rolled off of her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “We should head back soon before someone sends a search party.”

"I don’t want to leave." She pushed herself up and stood on shaky legs. She patted down the front of her dress and ran her fingers through her hair. Aemond sat up and grabbed her wrist. “You can’t return like this; your mother will have your head.” Gaella groaned in annoyance as she remembered her mother. “I don’t have any other choice.” 

“Not necessarily, just follow me.” He smirked up at her and she begrudgingly nodded her head in agreement. “Must you always be so defiant?” Gaella intertwined her fingers with his and hummed to herself with a cocky smile plastered on her face. 

Unbeknownst to them a pair of eyes were watching from a distance.

[fanfic-corner]

Johnlock

it's spooky season. i've been writing fanfic on ao3 for over a year now. i think i'm finally going to confess exactly what pairing my first ever fic was for: good ol' Johnlock. that fic of mine is long since dead, but here are some other ones that i love <33

The Important Bit by Solshine // @thehumantrampoline AO3. (9,984 words).

Tags: Asexual Sherlock, Platonic Relationship, Amarriage, Same-Sex Marriage, Bromance, Domestic.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Just where exactly is the line between “to love” and “to be in love”? What difference is required between “flatmate” and “husband”? (Besides the rings, obviously.) No, the important bit is that they have each other. Thirty years, give or take, in an atypical marriage. Basically a long bit of platonic domestic fluff.

Notes: Oh, this is absolutely one of my favourite Johnlock fics now. Absolutely adorable (because I love domestic Johnlock okay), I nearly cried, and now I want all the art of Sherlock with a fancy old cane!

Alone On the Water by Mad_Lori // @madlori AO3. (7,725 words).

Tags: Angst, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Euthanasia, Deathfic, Love Confessions, Grief.

My Rating: 5 stars.

Description: Sherlock Holmes never expected to live a long life, but he never imagined that it would end like this.

Notes: Oh god, every single time I read this I cry. Especially the last line! This was the first fic I ever read on AO3, too.

On Dates, Drugs, and Destiny by squire on AO3. (20,055 words).

Tags: Romance, Arranged Marriage, Crack, Humor, Fluff, Angst, Misunderstandings, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Jealousy, Friends to Lovers, Drugs.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: When Sherlock Holmes and John Watson first meet in the lab at Bart's, it isn't actually for the first time. But why does only one of them know this - and should the other one keep the secret, or will revealing the truth ruin their friendship forever? A story of John being not Sherlock's date, of Sherlock being around way too much drugs, and a Destiny that always has to have the last word.

Notes: Some of the angsty bits were a little anticlimactic, but I did enjoy reading it a lot.

the art of getting by (isn’t really so artsy at all) by stupidmuse_hatesme on AO3. (6,521 words).

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual Character, Asexual Sherlock, Romance, First Time, First Date, Slash.

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: “He’s treating things like they’re normal! Things are not normal.” Sherlock drags his hands from his mussed up hair and covers his face. “You aren’t helping much,” he mumbles into his palms. “I hope you know that.” The skull only grins from his perch and says not a word. “Really, you’re supposed to do more than just–sit there.”

Notes: John is so unbelievably sweet in this, but Sherlock was bit OOC.

And Together We Fell by forensicartists on Wattpad. (34 parts).

My Rating: 4 stars.

Description: Meet Sherlock Holmes- a 15 year old sociopath; arrogant, tactless, rejected, but enjoys a life of solitude and deducing. Meet John Watson- a 15 year old footballer; quiet, popular, caring, but endures a life of isolation and oppression. A transfer from a state school, John pushes open the door of Room 22 to find the most crucial part of his life he never knew existed; a teenage boy with the mind of a philosopher, who just so happens to be able to precisely analyse every detail of John's life, whilst being able to piss everyone else off at the exact same time.

Notes: Weird twist at the end but I really enjoyed it! This is totally on this list for the nostalgia because it was probably the first Johnlock (and for that matter, actual fanfic!) that I ever read! 

anyway, i hope you enjoy them! there are a hundred other fics i could add, so thank you to all the amazing fanfic authors again. this list has been in my drafts for a very long time, so i'm glad i get to finally send it out into the world <3

[crystalelemental]

May I ask why you don't like Jeralt? I don't have any particular feelings for him either way but I'm just curious.

Dude, I am always ready to shit on Jeralt.

Imagine you’re Byleth, right?  What has your entire life been like?  Conflict.  Going back and forth between conflicts in a mercenary life since birth.  You’re kept hidden away from everyone outside of the mercenary band, and never had friends of your own.  Hell, you’ve had so little contact with the outside world that, somehow, you don’t know the fucking Church of Seiros.  Never even heard of it.  How is that possible?  How kept away from the light of day do you have to be to not know the major organized religion of every single location you’ve ever been to?

But I digress.  Eventually, we have the events that kick off the story of Three Houses.  They’re taken in by this incredibly nice lady, have older peers in the profession that treat them well and help them out, have friends their own age who respect and look up to them, have a job that, while partially about fighting, is not exclusively about fighting, and lets you travel the world.  And after a month of this, if you tell your dear old dad you like it here, what’s his response?  “Oh, I thought for sure you’d hate being surrounded by noble brats.”

My biggest issue with Jeralt is that he is a terrible fucking parent.  Like, Rudolf-tier shit parent.  Jeralt, despite being the only point of contact he’s allowed for his child for 21 goddamn years, knows nothing about you.  He has no idea that you’d be happy to have friends, or exist in a place where you’re not fighting all the time.  Though I shouldn’t be surprised, the piece of shit can’t even remember your mom’s name, or anything about her except “Durr, she liked flowers and smiling.”  And to cap it all off, while you can argue that he had good reason to take Byleth away from the monastery after finding out there was no heartbeat and having Sitri die in childbirth, he never actually brings this up with Byleth, despite having ample opportunity to do so.  There are multiple instances where Byleth starts to catch on to something, and he just never fesses up, even having the gall to lament “There’s never any time :(” before getting stabbed to death.

Also, this is REALLY petty, and a recent realization, but think about what gives you affection points with Jeralt.  It’s Byleth emoting.  When you give the response that implies more emotion, Jeralt’s happier.  Why?  Oh, because your heart wasn’t beating.  A big thing was that Byleth seemed without emotion, and the still heart was part of that.  Which means Jeralt’s most happy when it’s clear you have emotions.  Which is obvious to literally everyone else who just met you.  Twenty-one years, motherfucker!  That’s how long you had with your child and you’re STILL not sure if they have emotions?  You’re still worried there’s just something inherently wrong with them?  Come the fuck on, dude.

But then you learn about him as a person, though Alois and Leonie.  And it turns out, he’s also a fucking deadbeat.  He’s a heavy drinker who has massive debts across most towns in the continent, and who destroys shit when he gets drunk.  Hell, one story talks about how he almost killed Alois, and Leonie comments on how Jeralt never lost his fighting sense even when drunk, so it’s not like he would’ve actually missed a shot.  Jeralt’s an active fucking menace!  And on the topic of Alois, he took this kid in because he looked like the squire that died before him.  Alois holds nothing but respect for Jeralt, and seriously looks up to him, and Jeralt is dismissive as hell toward him all the time for no goddamn reason.  He doesn’t even give Alois the time of day.  But he’ll talk to Leonie all the time, I guess.  Won’t really even talk to his own child, but sure, that’s fine.

There is not a single instance, in the entire game, or Jeralt being a good person.  Ever.  He’s a dick to Alois, and doesn’t seem to really interact with Leonie so much as she hovers around him all the time.  In fact he doesn’t seem to have any close, positive relationships he reciprocates at all.  He’s so bad at parenting that he doesn’t know shit about his own child, this despite being their only point of contact to the world for 21 years.  He kept them so hidden away that, despite being mercenaries traveling the continent, Byleth doesn’t know any location they’ve been to or even the most basic of pervasive culture in the world.  Jeralt is a garbage parent, but just like good old Rudolf, despite being a literal sack of dogshit for a human being, the games want to pretend like they’re some hidden saint with good intentions.  They didn’t have any.  Even his most basic action of trying to protect his kid by sending them away from someone they believed hurt them is completely undermined by every single other action they’ve ever taken, up to and including the outright mistreatment of the child in his care.  Fuck Jeralt, Kronya was right to stab him, and we should’ve recruited her in that forest as our new best friend.

For a more composed answer to this that touches on the same stuff, here’s the last thing I wrote about him and Byleth in general.  I honestly like how that one came out better.

[ton-e]

Helheim is a land of peace.

The layers of agonized wails and woeful imploring she prepared her ears for was lost in the breeze of the melancholic melody of nature. Naked humming voices flowed serenely amidst the gradient of indigo blue leaves, dry and wrinkly, singing the ballads of lost souls attached to skinny tree branches, rinsed of color at the roots, blending smoothly with the pale greenery surrounding the wide meadow that grew to be her most favored solace.

Flowers, prey to decaying, small in stature but mighty in resistance, veiled the piece of soil that parted the center of the dark Kingdom in two, catching vines in the heart core of the spot her beloved boy once clawed his way to freedom, from a grave that came too early for a boy too gentle, too youthful, too much of a man before his time.

Her ghost Prince, her youngest; Stolen and crowned the King of Death, with a rain of tears on his cheeks and a cloak of swords in his back.

'Crowned, ' she spits, imagining it rippling through the dead earth and fell right onto Borr's bald head. Time failed to sweeten her bitterness as she thought, yes, this is how their history beautified the terrible incident. Time didn't heal her pain, neither did it gentled the sharpness of her teeth.

They had deceived him, betrayed him, punished him, stole his life away, and called it a reward.

After that dreadful day, She spent more nights weeping to slumber, eyes buried in the cushions of Hel's frigid chambers, burning brighter, hotter, than the hard oak feeding red-orange flames in the fireplace of her bedroom.

The phantom ice caressing the silver of her skin was more comfort than suffering, painless mercy she sunk into little by little every day until the light of day became unfamiliar. The cold here shares that quality, she ponders, a soft touch of unburnt ice to keep you from perishing.

Its a lot like her son, she thinks.

Yet, Bestla doesn't feel its presence permanently. A long, stone shaded cloak fell upon her shoulders, showering her back in a misty warmth provided by the thick velvet of the garment. Her eyes observe a silhouette shadowing the pale sun, the single leak of blight light hanging above the smoke sky.

"I was hoping to find you here, " Estrid wears a smile radiant enough to pale all gold in the 9 realms. "Peaceful up here, is it not? Hel liked hiding here, as a boy. Said the breeze was nice."

Bestla, for a moment, allows her eye to inspect the other woman for the first time. Her shoulders are round and solid, strong as a soldier, complemented by the stunning danger of a shieldmaiden. Bestla tracks night-dark locks brushing over creamy skin, long and curly. She's as much warrior as she is woman, it's as if she only now observes.

Her arms are an impressive addition, boxy as much as lean, holding closely on her shield and sword. A sword that, doubtlessly, claimed a long string of lives. She's not as fearful as it would be wiser to be. Estrid has been nothing but pleasant, as much as one could be when encountering their circumstance, her presence never frightening her as much as it saddened her.

"For someone carrying such heavy armor, you move with great stealth, Lady Sigurdsson, " If the other woman peaked at the too feather-soft timber of her voice, she had enough cheek to act differently. " I suppose you'd want an explanation as to why I'm avoiding my son?"

" Forgive me, your Grace, but Lord Hellison was never included in the conversation, " Bestla thought she spotted a bloom of red dusting her cheeks as she grinned gently, taking a spot none to tight to the former Queen, but close enough to leave some space had the smaller woman want to fill it. "I thought you would, after..."

"...It's unwise to polish hard truths. They cut harder that way, " The Queen's words were dressed in both honesty and advice, chapters of her life unfolding beneath her eyes as if to pledge truth to the statement. Estrid studied each word with expert attention.

Bestla raises, arms guarding her middle, eyes cast over the sea of flowers beneath her shoes.

"I'm grateful, for the kindness you showed him. I remain in your debt, in fact, though it escapes me how I can repay you here. "

"We don't believe in paying kindness, in the North. Goodness isn't traded in gold, " a quiet chuckle is swept by the breeze slashing through the grand mountains. Estrid inhales deeply and opens her arms when she lets her body fall upon the grass. "If it was, don't you think more people would practice it?"

The southerner's lips lift in a one-sided smile of her own, private and discreet. Debtless favors certainly sounded sweet to the ear.

" Aesir aren't precisely renewed for our gentle hearts, so I suppose not. I still mourn the stress you must have endured, however. Children are far from being a jolly affair. And the tales we hear as children don't exactly portray Titans as loving parents."

A stratum of blank seriousness shaped Estrid's features, graveness resting heavily on sharp boned cheeks and warm brown eyes. " I fell in love a day after meeting him, " Bestla swallowed hard at the admission. " I knew him for less than a sundown, but I knew he was mine. I was dead, alone and helpless and afraid, and he was too much like me to be a fateless coincidence. Words aren't enough to express it. He was just...Meant to fall, and I to catch him. "

The leafs sang to fill the edged hush musking around them. Estrid pimped the other's empty breathing as anger, for she heaved a sigh long enough to match the twin lack of words on both their parts, and excused her nerve. " Apologies. I don't dare name myself a mother, nor do I starve for anyone's approval, least of all yours. I only wished to say you raised a good son. A son lucky to have a mother like you, for as long as he did."

"...You helped him," Bestla started, chest light and comfortable, not cutting blades piercing her skin as she expected. "Kept food in his mouth, put clothes on his back. You loved him truthfully and protected him fiercely. You're not any less his mother than I."

"...It must be a sour thin all the same, for someone so beloved to greet you as a stranger. For that, I can't help but feel sorry still."

" That's a sentiment we can share. He... Hel, my child, my youngest son. Born at the edge of two worlds that never loved him. They aren't my own, not my blood, not him neither Odin, my kind hearted prince, my little lion boy. And yet, I was not their mother for the simple reason they didnt come from me. Everyone told me so.

They weren't my own, yet I held them at my chest, kissed their skinned knees and elbows, wiped their tears, and chased sickness with handpicked herbs and wet rags because I trusted nobody to do so. No language is enough to describe the love a mother has for their children.

No tongue is enough to put my love in words."

"...Even for Balder?"

Bestla laughs, an odde of heartache and sorrow. " Even him. Love gives no choices, last of all to parents. I still remember the day of his birth. A terrible storm broke the skies that evening, set fire to five houses, left a month's worth of reparations behind. He struggled, I've been told. He kicked and wailed and fought all the way.

I haven't had the chance to even hold him in my arms and he was so eager to run from me. My eyes never saw something more perfect than his tiny ears, his adorable little hands, and feet, his honey hair. He looked so much like me I hardly believed it.

But I felt no different with his brothers. There was a sickness in my mouth, when they were babes and I was forced to be departed from them. I couldn't bear to see them in another's arms, a wet nurse, or a squire, when asked to trust anyone else with them, I was faithless.

When Hel was born, he couldn't be convinced to let me go. He was so quiet, I thought perhaps this world claimed him already. His mother drew her last breath on that bed and I was the one he clung to, the one he hooked his fingers into. One of the King's guards present, he tried to prey him away, do you want to know what I did? I unsheathed a dagger from my thigh, slashed his throat, and watched him die." The confession was a river she scalded into freely.

"Would I insult your intelligence by asking if you're familiar with Sandr?" Bestla asked once Estrid wordlessly raised on her feet. She felt enough security to push her body forward. " Titans held mighty battles there."

A smirk pinched the taller woman's lips. " We were rowdy children, I'll confess. But yes, I know the location. You rebuild beautifully, " dark eyes shaped the bronze scorpio pendant suspended in the middle of Bestla's long neck. " Your family picked a Scorpio as their sigil. They made a fine legacy."

" Oh, it was. The finest. Beautiful, skillful, and yet, terribly lonely. I had 10 siblings. 5 brothers and sisters, however, I confess I felt more like an accessory than a member of a clan. We were strangers to each other. Foreigners with the same name, with our only common factor being our house.

Our country was gorgeous but very poor, you see. We trusted nobody, and in return, our distrust was repaid with hostility. Eventually, when our skin touched bone and we ran out of livestock, we opened the gates to trade. Naturally, we were invaded, our lands stolen, our necks had shackles only we could see.

And I held the key for everyone.

I want you to picture the most powerful man in the world, asking me to marry him," a bitter laughs cracks in her throat, and the wind whips away the water from her eyes. " He had a crown on his head and 50 thousand banner men behind him, with more gold than he could ever need or deserve and 100,000 spikes for our heads alone. What else could I have said?"

Her legs shift, stepping closer to Estrid, eyes as flat as her tone. " What I did, I did because I had to. To defend my people. To defend my family. To defend my blood. Every sacrifice, every drop of blood I've spilled, I did it so the people I love could live the peace I never did."

She advances, every step that's forward to her is one back for Estrid, eyes concentrated intensely on one another with enough fire to make Fire Giants sweat.

"All the sins that I have done. Or had done at my orders? The truths my children don't know, the truths a narrow number of people lived to keep the secret. The kind vicious enough to make fine warriors as yourself lose sleep, if they came to know them.

Perhaps this is my justice. A punishment for survival in a world where living is no bed of roses. But I won't stop helping my children, heart beating or otherwise.

There's a storm coming, My Lady. And I have every intention of ensuring everyone walks dry."