#because I'm never going back. I just. want to test my own heart
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zombiesun · 2 years ago
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as a kid I never understood what it meant to 'harden your heart' but then I fell in and out of love enough times to understand that it's an intentional process and one that you can reverse at any time but often never do
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sunderwight · 4 months ago
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Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.
Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.
I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.
All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!
Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.
Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?
Shen Yuan: what do you mean?
Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?
Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*
Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...
Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?
Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???
Shen Yuan: don't make it weird
Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???
Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating
Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--
Shen Yuan: hey
Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--
Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!
Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--
Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking
Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!
Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--
Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince
Shen Yuan: *mumbling*
Shang Qinghua: what was that?
Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...
Shang Qinghua: oh my god
Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!
Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*
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ponderingmoonlight · 4 months ago
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Reader falling obsessively in love with kny men after getting poisoned
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Pairings: Rengoku x fem!reader; Sanemi x fem!reader; Giyu x fem!reader; bonus Genya x fem!reader
Word Count: 4k
Warnings: There's no smut going on but it's definitely a close call lol, I just thought this concept is funny so the fics itself and the whole scenarios aren't 100% serious it's getting absolutely heated in every single one though hehe, Not proofread bc I literally finished this last minute before my flight lol, I'm currently in Greece when this gets published so surprise ya girl with your support until she's back 🤍
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Rengoku Kyojuro
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“And you’re sure this is safe?”, you question while looking up at Shinobu with frightful eyes.
It should be fine. After all, Shinobu is the one who invented a medicine that is supposed to finally force your headache away. She’s a professional, so well-educated that even Kagaya-sama’s very own children get treated by her.
Even though she didn’t have the chance to test this medicine, you should be fine.
Right?
“As you know, I’ll never promise something I can’t keep, (y/n). But you’re here with me and if something goes wrong, I will find a way”, she tries to reassure you, only to spike your panic up even higher.
“Listen Shinobu, maybe I’ll try something e-“
Before you’re able to finish your sentence and stop her, you feel a needle poking through your arm oh so gently.
For a moment, you simply sit there and blink in confusion. Huh, not as bad as you thought. It really seems like your headache slowly but surely starts fainting away while the medicine burns every so slightly through your veins.
Not bad at all.
Until your heartbeat picks up so suddenly that your eyes dart wide open. Like in trance, you yank out of the chair you were sitting in, orbs darting around without a real aim while frantically searching for something.
Or rather someone.
What a quiet and peaceful day it is to roam around the beautiful butterfly estate. Rengoku actually didn’t even plan to come here. After all, he isn’t injured nor does he need something from Shinobu-san. To be honest, he’s only here because of you.
You told him yesterday that you’ll see Shinobu today in order to test medicine that is supposed to end your ongoing headaches. You were a little frightened when you thought about getting an injection, so it was never a question for Rengoku to be there for you. Hopefully, he made it on time.
“Kyojuro.”
He furrows his eyebrows and turns towards that unusual seductive voice.
When your eyes meet his, he forgets how to breathe. There you stand, your kimono opened just enough for him to catch a glimpse of your chest like never before. But what simply sweeps him off his feet are your eyes. As gorgeous and captivating as ever, but this time igniting an so unknown spark, inviting him to a silent dance.
“(y/n), are you feeling alright?”
Your hips swing from side to side as you draw closer to him and place your hand straight over his beating heart.
“I’m feeling better than ever before, Kyojuro.”
Kyojuro can’t help but blush deeply, eyes widening in surprise. A nervous smile plays on his lips while he stammers slightly, unable to hide his flustered state. Is this really you, the secret love of his life, discovering his body with your bare hands? The second your flat palms start wandering over his back, his hands start to fidget. Out of instinct, he avoids eye contact, his very own hands now keeping you in place.
“W-What’s going on. (y/n)?”, he stammers like he never did before.
“Take me, Kyojuro.”
His eyes grow even wider, usual confidence momentarily faltering like a house of cards.
“I-I…um, what?”
With a force he didn’t even know you have, you shove him against a nearby tree, your knee gliding between his legs.
“I want you since the first time I saw you. I won’t wait for another opportunity when you’re right here.”
“(y/n)…D-did you already meet Shinobu-san?”
Are you sick or injured? A quick scan of your body reveals nothing that could indicate a serious wound. No, to be precise, you reveal nothing but your soft curves, your gorgeous frame he has never seen like this before. With your kimono slightly opened and the cleavage that peaks at him oh so invitingly…He never felt your hands pressed against his chest like that before, never got a taste of how well you fit inside of his arms.
No. He shakes his head ever so slightly, forces his own mind back to reality. This isn’t the (y/n) he knows. You’d never sneak up on him like this, even if the words you just spoke are true.
Oh, please let them be true.
“All I care about is you”, you purr, face now only inches away from his.
If his back wasn’t pressed against a tree already, Kyojuro would lose his balance for sure. He was always captivated by that gorgeous colour your eyes have, never able to look away. But now, with that dark gleam inside of them, your hands wrapped around his neck. A little innocent kiss, a dream that comes true right here and now-
“(y/n), come back right now!”, a voice cries behind him so suddenly that he jumps up inside the cage of your comforting arms.
“We are here, Shinobu-san!”, he replies automatically.
Only to regret his words instantly. Just one second more and his lips would have touched yours, only a few moments more in your embrace before it all ends again. It takes him all his strength to let go of you when Shinobu arrives with an injection ready in her hand.
“I’m beyond sorry, Rengoku-san! (y/n)’s strange behaviour is all my fault. But don’t worry, I’ll bring her back in just a moment.”
Faster than he’s even able to comprehend the insect pillar’s words, she sticks a needle into your arm and releases the injection.
You blink a few times, head spinning uncontrollably as you stumble backwards. Where are you? What happened? Your head pounds so roughly against your skull that you feel like puking any given minute.
“How are you feeling, (y/n)?”, Shinobu’s comforting voice rings in your ears.
Slowly but surely, your foggy vision starts to get clear again.
“Since when are you so tall, Shinobu?”, you mumble absently.
“It’s me, (y/n). Kyojuro.”
Oh.
“Kyojuro!”, you mumble in utter surprise.
“But…what are you doing here?”
“Let’s not talk about it. I-I…I need to go now”, the flame hashira announces before turning on his heels and walking away.
You stare at his back in nothing but confusion. What is wrong with him? Is he not feeling well, maybe?
“Is it just me or does Kyojuro walk very strange today?”, you question, earning endless giggles from Shinobu next to you.
“He does indeed.”
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Sanemi Shinazugawa
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“Watch out idiot, you’re gonna get hit!”, the white-haired man barks harshly at you before dashing towards again.
It happened faster than you were ready to react. A little troll through the woods at night, a deep conversation with the wind hashira. And just a few seconds later, an upper-ranked demon appeared out of nowhere.
“Don’t let it hit you, (y/n)!”
“I’m not stupid, dumbass!”, you bite back while dodging another hit with a tendril.
What a strange-looking demon that woman is. With countless pink tendrils that act as her hair and her long tongue, she really looks different from every demon you’ve seen before.
“Still fighting for your love, you fool?”, she jeers at Sanemi before trying to hit him once again.
"I will show you what love really is! It's a consuming fire that burns away your sense of self, leaving you hollow and desperate. It's an obsession that blinds you to reality, making every thought, every breath, every heartbeat revolve around the one person who becomes your entire world. In this love, you lose your freedom, your identity, and your sanity, as you sacrifice everything to feed the insatiable hunger that never goes away-“
“Can you just stop talking shit, ugly bitch? I just wanna go home”, Sanemi interrupts her dryly
You chuckle to yourself. As if a demon would know anything about love. Their only purpose on this earth is to kill innocent humans for the fun of it.
“What the hell do you know about love, huh? All you do is destroying it”, you blurt out.
Just a moment of sloppiness, a second of turning your back to the tendrils that surround you like a prison. The second you feel it, it’s already too late.
“(y/n)!”, Sanemi cries out, feet rapidly carrying him to your side in order to slice through that fucking piece of tendril that pierced itself through your leg.
He wraps his arms around you tightly, saves you from clashing onto the ground. But the second you open your eyes again, they don’t look like they did before. No, you look obsessed.
“Hey, look at me (y/n). Come back to me”, he insists, a slight tone of panic now taking over his usual so harsh voice.
What if that bitch poisoned you? Shinobu is miles away, there’s no way in hell he’d make it on time. And even now, tendrils continue to circle both of you, waiting for an opportunity to hurt him as well.
“Just see what love does to you! You’ll have to kill her!”
“What the fuck are you talking about”, he hisses under his breath.
“(y/n)?”
“Sanemi.”
Your voice sounds dark, unpromising, coated in something he’s never heard before.
“Hey, are ya alright?”
You’re moving too fast for him to react. In the split of a second, you sit on top of him, your hands holding his in place while your lips start tracing up and down his neck.
For a moment, Sanemi forgets how to exist.
You’re sitting on top of him.
With your lips pressed against his neck.
Almost instantly, blood shoots up his face and straight into his private parts, eyes widen in…horror?
No, not because of you, not because he doesn’t enjoy to finally feel you this close. But this isn’t you. This is the poison of that fucking demon.
Just before he gets hit as well, he slices through another tendril that was ready to attack both of you.
“You can’t save her and yourself!”, the demon shouts at him in sheer amusement.
“Your love will get you killed!”
“(y/n).”
His voice is as tender as never before, hands now grabbing your arms oh so gently.
“You need to come back to me, okay? This isn’t you, this isn’t…how you feel for me.”
He hates the way his heart starts aching as soon as those words leave his mouth. There’s no way in hell someone like you would ever fall for someone like him if it wasn’t for that demon. Not when you’re so gorgeous, so breathtakingly beautiful, so smart-
“But I love you, Sanemi! And I need you!”, you cry out, lips now only inches away from meeting yours.
“You don’t love me, (y/n). How could you ever love me?”
“Let me show you.”
Just before your hand gets the chance to grab his pants, he swings you around in order to lay on top of you – completely out of breath and flustered like never before.
“You need to focus. We need to kill that bitch”, he tries to remind you while dodging another wave of attacks with his free hand.
“You’ll need to kill her!”
“Shut up!”, he barks at the demon behind him.
But that thing’s right. With you writhing like a snake underneath him and those countless merciless attacks, he can concentrate on neither.
“I’m the only one who’s able to save her-“
“I said shut up!”
“(y/n), please get yourself together”, he breathes out.
God, why do you have to look so damn tempting with your legs wrapped around his waist and eyes as flustered as he’s never seen before? Countless lonely nights, he imagined what you might look like, feel like, sound like.
But this isn’t real. That sudden outburst of love isn’t real.
“Looks like you’re busy, Shinazugawa. Maybe you should do things like that somewhere other than on the battlefield”, a painfully known voice comments behind him dryly.
“Shut up at take care of that bitch. I need to look after (y/n)”, he instructs the serpent hashira sharply before picking you up and sprinting into the woods.
“I need you. Please”, you beg between his arms, the way your hands roam around his chest simply driving him insane.
“You can’t help her!”, a faint female voice cries behind both of you.
Screw that fucking demon. He needs to get the real you back, needs to finally confess his damned feelings. Even if all of this is nothing but poison, he simply can’t live like this anymore. Not when you’re so close to him every day, not when he secretly can’t get enough of that sight in front of him right now.
“Come back to me, (y/n)”, he almost begs while letting you down.
Fuck, what is he supposed to do? What if he’s not able to help you? Even if he sends after Shinobu, you might go insane until she arrives. And what if you do something stupid, what if he isn’t able to protect you? And what if this isn’t the only thing that cursed poison does?
“Don’t you love me? I thought you like me back, I thought we have a future together, I…I can’t do this without you!”, you suddenly scream on top of your lungs while bursting out in tears.
“What? I never said that-“
“I don’t wanna live without you. I…I’ll end this!”
It happens almost too fast for him to react. In the matter of milliseconds, you grab your sword and direct it towards your throat, ready to slice it open with full-force.
“You little idiot”, he hisses through gritted teeth while forcing your blade away.
“I love you so fucking much that it hurts, you’re the only thing I’m thinking about constantly! Can’t you see that you’re driving me crazy since joining the corps!? I love you, (y/n)! I always did and I definitely always will! You’ve got me trapped, goddamn!”
And then he presses his lips against yours. Longingly, passionately, as if you’re air and he cannot breathe. Never in his life, Sanemi longed for something so small yet so big. Each and every night, his mind wandered to your lips, your laugh, just you and your fucking perfect self. He can’t stand the thought of you talking about yourself so badly. Him not loving you? Are you fucking insane?
“Sanemi.”
You breathe his name against his lips oh so sweetly.
Sweetly, with that cheeky undertone he knows so well.
“Is that you, (y/n)?”
When he opens his eyes again, he gets greeted by the gleaming kindness that radiates from your orbs just inches away from his.
“I’m sorry for…throwing myself at you like that…”, you mutter with reddened cheeks.
How embarrassing. You can’t believe you were about to touch his groin without permission. Even if you were poisoned, what the hell has gotten into you? And why do you have to remember all the things you’ve said and done? That would have been the least that cursed poison could have done…
“Don’t be, it’s fine”, Sanemi replies equally awkward.
“But…are you actually into me?”, you mumble followed by a swift gaze.
“I…I mean…-“
“He totally is”, Obanai barges into the conversation from behind.
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Giyu Tomioka
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“Didn’t you say that-ah! This was supposed to be easy?”, you press out while fighting a bunch of demons.
You really have no idea how you ended up here. Just a few seconds ago, you were having the best sleep of the week when your crow interrupted your slumber as rude as ever and literally dragged you onto the battlefield straight on his side.
His side. Giyu Tomioka, to be exact. The mysterious yet captivating water hashira you are eyeing since the first day of joining the chosen circle of pillars. What is it that ties you onto him like a chain, that forces your mind to wander towards him each and every day without any break?
“I will take care of the right side. Stay focused”, he instructs you as absent as ever, not even sending you a single look while your heart is all over the place.
It’s ridiculous and you know it all too well. A man like Giyu would never fall for someone as clumsy and unsettled at you. He will never look at you the way you look at him, not even daring to send you a single smile. Because you’re nothing but comrades, distant known. If it wasn’t for your responsibilities as pillar, he would have never even talked to you.
And you absolutely hate the way this stinging fact bugs you every single day of your life.
“You’re not focused enough, stupid girl”, a voice way too close suddenly purrs inside your ear.
There’s no time left to react. Not even Giyu Tomioka is able to reach you in time when the demon scratches your neck oh so slightly.
Only enough to spill your blood.
Only enough to make you go absolutely insane.
Your mind gets flooded by a wave of emotions, memories, thoughts. All at once. So rapidly that you feel like fainting any given minute.
“What did you do to her?”
“Nothing hurts more but the truth. Did you ever wonder about what she might feel for you, even love, maybe? I will reveal her darkest secrets, her thoughts that were never said out loud. And when she finally loses her mind completely, I will force her to kill you and afterwards herself!”
Giyu’s eyes widen at those words. You, loving him? He never even dared to think about something like this, not when you are admired by everyone around you. Why would you fall for someone as quiet and boring as him?
He swallows hard. But knowing that deep inside him is definitely different from hearing those words coming out of your mouth.
“Giyu.”
Your voice sounds cold and distant, eyes completely blank.
“(y/n), I will get you out of here, I’m sure Shinobu is able to-“
“I love you.”
You hate him.
No.
You love him?
“And I’ve loved you for so long that I lost count a long time ago. I love the way you walk, the way you inspect the world around you so carefully. I love how tender you are when it comes to children. I love your kindness, your calm voice-“
“Wait, this wasn’t supposed to go like this!”, the demon cries out.
“I love the feeling of your eyes set on me even though I know I’d never stand a chance. You are so much more than a friend to me, so precious that it hurts. And I can’t help but imagine myself lying inside your arms every night. I can’t help but stare at you whenever I catch you training. I can’t stop those butterflies from invading my stomach every time you’re around. I love you with all my heart even though I know you’d never love me back.”
HIs mind goes blank, ocean blue eyes staring at you in sheer disbelief. Suddenly everything else around you goes silent. The demon, the screams from afar. All he’s able to see is you with those tears glistening in your orbs.
Giyu’s heart skips a beat when he begins to realize.
You really mean it. Every word you just said is true.
“But I do feel the same way about you”, he finally replies while cupping your hands with his.
“I just never thought someone like you would fall for someone like me.”
“I would always choose you”, you clarify in an instant.
And then your eyes roll back into your skull, your lifeless body threatens to hit the cold ground.
-later-
“Giyu? Where’s Giyu?”, you croak out before you even open your eyes, your heart hurting so bad that you feel like puking.
What happened? All you’re able to remember is Giyu’s hands intertwined with yours before everything turned black. Or was it just a dream?
“Finally, I was so worried about you, (y/n).”
But no. At this very moment, he still holds onto your hand tightly while looking down at you with his brows furrowed.
“What happened?”
“You were poisoned by a demon and lost consciousness. I carried you to the butterfly estate”, he explains as briefly as ever.
“You…carried me?”
“Of course I did. You were unconscious, like I said.”
“Did we hold hands?”, you blurt out so suddenly that you even scare yourself.
You can feel Giyu sliding back and forth on his chair, eyes avoiding yours at any cost. Oh no, did you make him feel uncomfortable? What if he’s annoyed because of your foolish mistake? You should have never asked him-
“(y/n), do you remember the conversation we’ve had on the battlefield?”, he questions with unspoken hope glimmering inside his orbs.
“I…I don’t remember anything…”, you finally admit.
What did you talk about? Did you insult him? And what about that demon? That thing definitely wasn’t a lower ranked demon.
“You told me you love me.”
Your heart leaves your body and soul behind, glossy eyes staring at him in sheer disbelief. Fuck, did you hear that correctly? You told him you love him?
“I…I said that?”, you stutter.
“I mean…M-maybe I h-hit my head a l-little too h-“
“And I love you too.”
Oh.
This is even more ridiculous.
“You love me?”, you shriek in reply.
“I never thought about the possibility that you might actually like me back. But when that demon poisoned you, when you told me that you love me…I can’t keep this lie up any longer. I love you, (y/n).”
Gently, he wraps his comforting arms around your aching body, allows you to take in his calming scent.
“It embarrasses me that it took a demon to finally say this out loud.”
“But…would you mind telling me what I said?”, you mumble against his neck.
He lifts up your head enough for you to catch a glimpse of his breath-taking smile.
“I’d rather keep these words for myself.
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Bonus: Genya Shinazugawa
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“Where’s (y/n)!?”, Mitsuri cries out in sheer panic while darting around the estate in a haste.
“(y/n)? I’ve seen her on her way to the hot springs just a few moments ago”, Tanjiro replies in utter confusion.
“Is there somebody else, Tanjiro-kun?”, Mitsuri continues while grabbing Tanjiro’s shoulders roughly.
“Hello, Genya”, you purr.
“(y-y/n)!? What the hell are you doing here, I’m taking a bath!”, Genya cries out with his cheeks already bright red.
But instead of getting lost like he told you to, you let your towel fall to the floor.
And stand in front of him.
Completely naked.
“What are you doing!?”, he shrieks.
In the matter of seconds, he turns himself away from you, his face burning like a thousand fires. Fuck, he’s already flustered when you’re around him in your uniform. But you, butt-naked, in the same hot spring? He’ll definitely die here.
“I needed to see you. There’s actually something I wanted to tell you in a long time, Genya.”
When the water around him starts to move due to you entering the hot spring, he feels like dying out of excitement and fright. You shouldn’t be here together, not when you’re completely naked, not alone. He never prepared himself for something like this to happen, didn’t even allow his mind to wander such places. Fuck, what is he supposed to do?
Suddenly, he finds himself whirled around in your arms, your chest pressed against his.
Your very naked chest.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
“What are you doing!?”
“Come on, I saw the looks you were giving me when you thought I wasn’t watching”, you purr while drawing small circles onto his chest.
“I…no…I didn’t mean it…that way…I just think that…that you are awesome. And cute…”, Genya mumbles.
“(Y/N)!”
Another splash, another butt-naked woman that now grabs your shoulders and pulls you out of the water with impressive strength.
“I’m so sorry, Genya! I fear (y/n) mistook the love portion I made for juice!”, Mitsuri bubbles while trying to tame you down.
“CAN THE TWO OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!?”
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Tags: @chilichopsticks @hellkaiserinphoenix  @ynackerman9499 @keepghostly @beatrexworld
@froufrousnowman @hidazinie @tomiokathedepresso  @poketrainer2270 @chaoticwinnercupcake
@lees-chaotic-brain @wordskeeper @polarbvnny @sugu-love @ryva @baku2345
@komelrebi-san @kentocalls @barbuse @sunshine7queen @lavenderdrxp
@yaninnaacu @hopefulbelievertimemachine @laurencrsnt @sanemifucker
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o-sachi · 4 months ago
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My Golden Girl ‧₊˚ ⋅ One Shot (Request)
ଳ Kaiser loves his generous golden girl, but he hates it when people take advantage of her kindness
ଳ character; michael kaiser (bllk)
ଳ tags; afab reader, no y/n, FLOOF, soft mihya
[🐟]: This takes place before the Blue Lock project, so Kaiser should still be in Germany and practicing with Bastard.
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The moon can only shine at night because of the sun.
That's what your relationship is like with Kaiser.
He honestly had no idea where he'd be without you. There were days when he felt like he was slowly losing himself—drowning in the pressure to remain at the top. But as he teeters on the edge, you always come to pull him right back in.
Your sweet words at the end of his day were enough to keep him grounded. As a matter of fact, you barely needed to do much to pacify him. But knowing you—you would go over and beyond for him. Seriously. It puzzles him why someone as pure as you would mess around with someone like him.
But who was he to question you?
"Yo, your girlfriend's been here for like an hour. Have you even seen her already?" Kaiser snaps out of his daydream as the locker room door swings open. It was some guy from his team who he never really bothered to remember the name of. His gaze follows his teammate as he saunters over to his locker.
"Eh... but she's out helping the managers again." That's when his attention was truly caught. "She's what?" "Y'know... handing out bottles and stuff. You should ask her to become a manager too. She'll fit right in." Tsk.
Kaiser shakes his head and grabs the towel off of his head. He aimlessly chucks the piece of fabric to the side and gets up without another word.
His teammate watches—dumbfounded—at the lack of a response. "Hey, Kai-"
But as soon as he spoke, Kaiser was already out of the door.
He wasn't angry or annoyed that you showed up unannounced. Truthfully, he didn't know what he felt. There was a reason why he avoided bringing you or inviting you to his practices.
You were too kind for your own good and the people here aren't shy about taking advantage of you.
Kaiser was stuck between a rock and hard place. One on hand, he loved that you cared enough about him to go out of your way even help the management or even his team. He couldn't bring himself to scold anyone—especially not you. On another, he knew what they were doing to you. They pretended to be all nice and sweet when asking you favors. But don't they have any shame asking so much from you?
Just like what Mr. Forgettable Name said earlier, you were almost like a manager here. But, fuck that. You're supposed to be a guest. You're his girlfriend, so you deserve nothing but the best treatment.
Yet, here he was—watching you as you scurry around, handing water bottles to his... not teammates. What the hell were you even doing giving water to the second string players? Jesus. He wasn't even sure if they were on the second string.
The more he observed, the angrier he became. Someone better hold him back and tell him what he just witnessed wasn't what he thought because one of the players definitely handed you an empty bottle—which, of course, you threw in the trash for him.
Sure, he's probably tired from running all day and yeah, you were closer to the trash bin. But who the fuck does he think he is to ask you of something like that?
He didn't even notice that his legs moved on their own. His body wanted nothing but to walk over to you. Never mind what his heart was telling him.
"Hey."
You spun around, knowing whose voice it was that almost startled you. His bright blue eyes peered down at you and he seemed... a bit pissed.
"Sorry... I know I should've told you that I was coming today, but-" Kaiser sighs heavily, running his tattooed hand through his blonde locks. "Don't apologize. I'm not mad—I just..."
But he was—he was most definitely mad. Just not at you.
It was like the world was testing the limits of his patience today because damn was he not even able to finish his sentence without another person bothering you.
As Kaiser struggled to express himself, one of the managers taps you on your shoulder. She had on the fake smile she always wore whenever she'd ask you a favor.
"Can you go distribute the lunch for the players today? I just have some paperwork to go over. You know how it is... managers get busy~"
Before you could even respond, Kaiser steps forward—putting distance between you and the manager. "And why would she do that? Isn't that your job?"
You grabbed his arm, telling him that it's alright. In a way, his team and the people who manage it have become your friends. You appreciate them for taking care of your boyfriend while you're not there and you're grateful for their warm greetings whenever you walk past any of them.
There wasn't any issue in you helping these people... or so you thought.
The manager smiles nervously at Kaiser, but she doesn't back down. "Well... I mean... if she's willing to do it, right? What's the harm in that?"
Kaiser exhales audibly. This is why he doesn't confront this dynamic. The manager was partially right because his girlfriend was always willing to help no matter what. Now he looked like the bad guy here.
The conversation shifted to an awkward atmosphere. All three of them felt it. But she was the first to break the ice... as usual.
"Mihya, it's alright. I like helping out the team. Consider it as me helping you as well," she says, smiling warmly.
"Baby," he clicks his tongue. "Forgive me, but... how the hell does it help me when you hand out water and food to these third stringers?"
Your eyes widen. "Mihya! Tone it down; they'll hear you."
He scoffs. "So what? Let them hear it."
At this point, the manager had grown quiet, slowly distancing herself from the developing quarrel.
"I've had enough watching people like her," he says, pointing at the manager before she could escape, "take advantage of you."
"It's not your job to hand out lunch boxes to everyone nor is it your responsibility to make sure they're hydrated. Baby—you might as well wipe their sweat for them while you're at it," he adds.
As he released these pent up frustrations, he failed to notice the gradual increase in the volume of his voice. It wasn't just you and the manager hearing it—but everyone else on the field. Even those who were far away, ran over to the commotion.
Kaiser never gave up even a second for you to butt in. "Remember that time they asked you to run to the nearby convenience store to buy God-knows-what? Or that time you had to go with... with... whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is to the hospital?"
"It's Igor," a faint voice reminds him.
"Shut the fuck up!" he retorts. Kaiser sighs deeply, the realization that everyone else was listening finally dawning on him. "What I'm trying to say is that... I'm just tired of seeing you be used like that, especially since I know how pure your heart is and all that," he says, softly.
He wanted the last part to be heard only by you. After all, you were the only one that mattered to him at the moment.
You were... well... staring at him in awe. Speechless. Unmoving. Stunned.
You were clueless to how he felt. Sure, they did ask too much of you. But you didn't think Kaiser was observing you to that degree. Your heart melted at his personal show of affection right in front of everyone.
"Mihya..."
You felt stupid that you could only mutter his name despite everything he had said. But before you could do anything else, his large hand grabs on to your wrist—pulling you along with him. His strides were purposeful and his grasp was firm. You hurriedly shuffled to keep up with his pace.
After gaining some distance from the group, Kaiser halts and turns to look back at them one last time.
"If I see any of you ask a favor from her again—I'll make sure to deal with you."
A promise and a threat.
He yanks you again and continues walking away. Overwhelmed by the sudden turn of events, you try to stop him despite his strength. "Hey... slow down. Let's talk... please?"
Kaiser blatantly ignores you, only stopping once you were inside of the facility and away from prying eyes. The firm grip that once wrapped around your wrist was replaced by a gentle caress as he brought your hand to his lips.
"Sorry... I got carried away. You know I can't let them do tha-"
"It's okay. I understand. Thank you for standing up for me," you say, cutting him off.
He blinks a couple of times, surprised at how well you took it. "You're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad at my boyfriend protecting me?"
You couldn't help but giggle at him. How silly would it be for you to get angry at him right now? What he did was one of the sweetest things anyone could do for someone; not everyone is brave enough to stand up for their significant other like that.
His look of astonishment was quickly replaced with a small smile. "I guess you're right, baby."
And before you know it, you were already caged in his warm embrace.
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ε( ε ˙³˙)ɜ 。° ⚬ 。 likes and reblogs are appreciated
pls do not translate/copy/reupload my work on other platforms.
o-sachi © 2024
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rising-starrr · 1 month ago
Note
hey..👹
street racer!Choso x nerdy!reader
NASTY FRAKY SLOPY MESSY DIRTY SHLOPY JUICY WET CARS SEX🤭 like so basically R is a fan of him and snuck out (she has strict parents and shes a good girl) to the street race and found herself talking to choso after the race (he won of course) and he was falling for her in many ways but he really wanted to fuck and so he took her to his car and sent homegirl to POUNDTOWN AND KEPT POUNDING. because she got that good pussy🤭 yk and he cant get enough overstimulating himself and her but she doesn’t mind. she just has to try and make it home before her parents wake up. good thing its the weekend huh🤭🤭
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Send that pussy to poundtown ! - Street Racer!Choso Kamo
warnings: street racer Choso, nerdy Reader, slightly rough sex, Choso having a lot of stamina, car sex, choking, hair pulling, Reader having strict parents, overstimulation, backshots, size kink(bro’s dick is like 11-12 inches).
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He can’t get enough of that cunt!/🌽link
Choso Kamo
As usual you were at home studying your ass off for your next quiz. Your parents were strict, so they barely allowed you to go anywhere, even if you didn't have any up-coming quizzes or tests.
You never understood why they were so strict anyways, you passed all your tests, exams, and quizzes, straight A's, top of the class, and they still don't let you get a break.
Crazy thing is you don't even live with them, they just keep in contact with your principal. But you're staying with them for spring break.
“You better be studying!” Your mother snapped as she slammed open your door, standing there with your father right behind her.
You look up from your book and nod . “Yes mother, I am.” You say as you look back down at your book.
Your mother didn’t know if you were lying or not, she was just really stupid to believe her own child.
“Good. You need to be prepared for the test after spring break.” She says, as she looks around your room. “What is with all these goddamn posters of this person ?”
That 'person' was Choso Kamo, a really famous street racer that you have a huge crush on. You didn't know when you developed a crush on him, you saw him on TV and fell in love.
You sigh as you look back down at your book, your mother was always yelling at you for the dumbest reasons possible. Meanwhile your father just stood there and allowed her to yell at you.
She huffed as she turned away from you and slammed your door. One day, that door was going to break off, and you weren't about to take the blame for it.
You stand up and open your door, putting your 'i'm studying, do not disturb' sign on your door and closing it, then locking it.
Sighing as you take out your phone, and check the time. It was 7pm, it was almost time for you to get ready for the street race.
MY BAE(BESTIE<3)
- girl ! where are you ? I'm parked around the corner
read at 7:02pm
you look around as you climb out your window and run towards your best friend’s car. You sighed as you got in and she began to drive off to the race.
When you had finally got there, the race was about to start, and you caught glance of Choso Kamo, he was getting in his car, and starting his engine up.
As soon as the flag went down for the racers to start, Choso started off with incredible speed, and safe to say he won!!
Being the shy person you are, your best friend had to drag you up to Choso, just so you would ask him for an autograph, and hug while you're at it!
You look back at your best friend as she nods, looking over to Choso. “Can.. I get your autograph please?”
You questioned, holding out the journal and pen out to him in case he says yes. He hums as he takes the book and signs it.
‘Choso K.♡’ is what your journal read. He put a cute little heart! You smile as you look back at him.
“Hm, I’ve seen you around, you wanna take a ride in my car sweets ?” Choso questioned as he took your hand in his.
You stutter over your words before shutting up and just nodding. He smirks as he leads you to his car and opens the passenger door for you.
You smile as you get inside the car, and puts the seatbelt on. He hums as he gets in on the other side and starts up the engine.
He began to drive through the neighborhood, his thumb tracing small circles on your inner thigh. He looks at you, asking if he has consent to go further.
Your crush — Choso Kamo, wanted to touch you ? Why pass up such an offer! You nod as he moves his hand up further, stopping in a random parking lot.
“Get in the back seat for me sweets.” He says, as you begin to unbuckle your seatbelt and crawl in the back, him following after you.
He asks for permission to push your skirt up, and makes sure your comfortable, he may be a very messy, and anger-issued person in the streets, but in the sheets, he's sweet and aggressive.
You nod as he pushes up your skirt and moves your panties to the side as you hum. He puts his face between your legs, taking in your scent to his nose.
All he smelled was a sweet cunt that was about to get ravished. To him, you smelled like candy, and sweets all that he loved.
He grips your hips, pulling you closer to his face. His face buried in your cunt, as he sticks his tongue to taste you.
“Shit, you taste so fucking good, sweets..” he murmurs as he comes back up and keeps one hand on your hip, the other unbuckling his belt.
He pushes down his boxers and began lazily stroking his cock. you look back, seeing how big his dick was, that shit wasn’t going to fit in you!
He positions his cock at your entrance, humming as he pushes down on your back, making you arch more.
Your face was pressed against his backseat, as he pushed himself inside of you. “Fuck — you feel so good” he murmurs as his grip on your hips tighten.
He began pounding away at that cunt of yours, making himself pussy drunk. He was pounding away as he gripped your hips harder.
His hair clinging to his forehead as he threw his head back. He just kept pounding, not letting either of you cum, he wanted to savor this moment.
Fucking the cute girl of his dreams? Complete! He just finished his bucket list, but he knows he’ll have to make another just to fuck you again.
“Cho—so! Cu—mming!” You managed to scream out, something that wasn’t just his name, or stupid moans about how good his dick was.
His grip on your hips tightened up, as he pressed his chest against your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “cum for me then.”
He murmured as you listened and finally came on his dick. He soon followed after you as you came. “Good girl”
He pulled back and took the condom off.(don’t ask me when he put it on..) He threw it in the trash can he had in his car and pulled you up.
“I should drive you home pretty. You plan to come to my next race right ?” He questioned as he got back in the front seat after cleaning you up and throwing the rag away.
You nod simply as you lay in his backseat, he hums as he looks through his mirror and drives you back home.
You thank him for the drive and walk off, to climb back into your window, it was 2 in the morning currently and your parents were still asleep.
Or should have been. They weren’t, they were having the night of their lives like you just did!
You yawn as you change and fall right onto your bed, a piece of paper flying out of your pocket. It was his number!
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I LOVED THIS REQUEST SO MUCH WHAT AND I’M SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO DO IT
456 notes · View notes
fullsunstrawberry · 11 months ago
Text
Love Beyond Labels
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synopsis: the misunderstood "rich girl," reveals her academic struggles to a loner with his own challenges. In an unexpected twist, they form a unique friendship—she gets study help, and he gains a true companion.
genre: slice of life, humor, fluff, angst, smut, freaky nerd
warnings**: bullying, swearing, self-hate, mentions of anxiety, jokes of social "suicide", dreamies are kinda mean in this..., no condom mentioned, praising, fingering, marking, lots of boobie touching cause haechan loves them okay, make-up sex, idk probably more lol
word count: 8.9k
a/n: first ever written fanfic....kinda nervous haha
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School is easy, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty. Well, that's what all your classmates thought. They didn't know how difficult school was for you. You never got what was happening in class. Anytime you got an answer wrong, no one batted an eye because who expects the rich pretty girl to get an answer right? But little did they know you would cry in the janitor's room after each time. You just hated feeling so dumb.
"Ugh, I'm not ready for today's test," Jaemin huffed, plopping down beside you.
"Wait, there's a test?" you sighed, already predicting the outcome.
Mr. Moon whispered a half-hearted "good luck" as he handed you the test, before moving on and finishing handing out everyone else’s tests. He already knew how it was going to go.
You hated how even the teachers knew you were stupid.
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After the test, you already knew you failed it. You were the last one to turn your test in, when Jaemin asked if you wanted to meet up with him, Jeno, Mark, and Chenle for lunch. You nodded telling him you had to stop at the office real quick.
Instead of walking towards the office, you sped walked to the janitor's closet, already feeling the tears threaten to escape. You knew you failed that test. Even though you acted like you didn’t know you had a test, you lied. You’ve been studying for it for a long time. Even canceling plans. But you would never admit it to anyone. You studied your ass off but still failed, that’s even more pathetic than forgetting about it.
You quickly took out the keys and opened the door quickly so no other student would see it. You thank the janitor for being so forgetful that you could easily steal one of his keys. He has a bunch of copies, one missing wouldn’t hurt. Right as you locked the door you sat in the corner, not even bothering to turn the lights on.
you were always an ugly crier, but it was okay cause you bought the most expensive waterproof makeup for these occasions. Only a quick bathroom stop is needed before meeting your friends for lunch.
As you were drying your tears you heard the door jiggle and then open. you quickly hid your face just in case it was someone you knew.
"Y/N?" a voice you didn't recognize spoke, interrupting your quiet moment in the janitor's closet.
Confused, you wiped your face and looked up at the mystery voice. You kind of recognized the thick black glasses boy in front of you. You knew he was in some of your classes but you couldn’t think of his name.
Fearing the worst you cleared your throat before asking “What do you want?”
“Uh, I don't want anything!" the boy replied, swiftly stepping into the room and closing the door. You noticed he had his lunch tray with him. "This might sound pathetic, but I like to eat my lunch here."
confused, you asked him “Why would you do that?”
“Well I don’t really have friends and I don’t want to get picked on” he explained sitting down next to you, not having much of a choice because there wasn’t that much room.
"Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll just go," you said, preparing to stand up. But before you could, he quickly called out your name, making you look down at him.
"You're not bothering me! You can stay and talk about what's going on. I know we don't talk, but I can listen to you." His hopeful eyes convinced you to sit back down. You quickly wiped away your tears before confiding in him.
“You can’t tell anyone this!“ You put your pinky finger up and put it near him. “promise?”
“I don’t have many people to tell” he let out a small laugh while putting his hands up defensively. “promise!” he took your pinky finger in his
“okay” you nodded “I failed my psychology test today”
you looked at his face and he looked confused “What?” you questioned
“Oh it's just, you always fail your tests. Everyone knows that”
As he said that you felt the tears start to come back. Of course, he wouldn’t get it. Why did you ever think he would get it?
“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m so sorry” he panicked “I shouldn’t have said that!”
you turn away, quickly wiping away your tears again. “no I get it, I’m the dumb girl”
"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Hey, want to hear something embarrassing about me? I'm only here because of a scholarship. That's why no one wants to be friends with me!" he confessed.
you start to giggle “That’s not embarrassing!”
“It made you laugh! But here is something actually embarrassing, my teacher forgot my name today. Even though I've had her for the whole year.”
Your eyes widen, feeling bad that you forgot his name.
“ahh you don’t know my name either”
you smile “If you tell me your name, I’ll forgive you��
“haechan”
“That's a nice name, haechan” You smiled at the way it rolled off your tongue. 
“thank you, I have a proposition or a proposal”
“I know what proposition means” you teased
he giggled, “I’ll help you study”
your eyes lit up, “really? What can I do for you?”
he avoided your eyes and cleared his throat “Be my friend”
your eyes softened “That’s not hard, I was going to be your friend after this conversation anyways” You pushed his shoulder.
He finally met your eyes and smiled at you. “then you don’t have to do anything, friends help friends”
As the bell faintly rang, you pulled out your phone. "Here, give me your number so we can talk."
he paused for a second before taking your phone
standing up and thanking him before you quickly left to go touch up your makeup in the bathroom. Reminding yourself you would have to tell Jaemin you were sorry for ditching him and the guys.
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You walked into your next class as the late bell rang. 
“there you are! Jaemin told me you ditched us” Mark laughed. 
“I didn't mean to ditch you guys, just got carried away.” 
“carried away, with what?” 
“I was working on my psychology essay, and I can't believe she makes us write one every week!” you huffed out, setting your bag down before sitting down. 
“Could have just said you were talking to guys instead of lying.” Mark laughed, too interested in whatever was on his phone to notice your face drop. What did your friends think of you? 
“What do you mean?” 
Mark glanced at you before laughing, “You always procrastinate, there is no way you even started it!” 
Instead of arguing you turned to face the front, pulling out your notebook. The essay is due in two days, of course, you started it. There would be no way for you to finish the four pages if you didn't. Turning towards Mark again you huffed out, “Well someone is helping me study.”
Shocked, Mark quickly faced towards you “What? What happened to y/n?” 
You scoffed, “Really? That surprising”
“I am, you never really cared for grades”
“Well I'm sick of failing every test” 
“So who's helping you out?” Mark leaned towards you “Could have just asked me”
“His name is Haechan”
Mark’s eyebrows furrowed “That one kid that eats in the bathroom?”
“He doesn't eat in the bathroom!” You defended 
“Just be careful, he’s a little weird” 
“What do you mean, you don’t even know him” You started to get upset.
“He doesn't really talk to anyone”  He could see how your face scrunched up and you were about to start an argument with him so he shrugged, not really caring “Why didn't you ask me, I'm one of the top students”
You didn't really want to explain what happened so you just blew his question off. Before he could press you for an answer, the teacher walked in. 
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Haechannie🤓🐻: When do you want to start?
Y/N☺️: I have my psychology paper due soon. Could you read it over before I turn it in?
Haechannie🤓🐻: Yeah meet me at the public library after school 
Y/N☺️: Thanks!
Haechannie🤓🐻: No problem :)
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Jaemin and Jeno are probably thinking you're going crazy when you tell them you didn't need a ride after school. But you didn't want them to drop you off at the library and question you the same way Mark did in class. So you just said you were meeting up with a girlfriend of yours who wanted to walk to the park. At the mention of a girl, they didn’t question anything. 
Now that's how you ended up looking around the library for Haechan. He wasn't on the first or second floor, so you started making your way up to the third floor. Questioning why he even would go all the way up there, no one liked the third floor. As you looked around you spotted Haechan sitting at a table in the corner. 
As he heard you coming, he looked up and smiled. “Took you long enough!”
“Who even uses the third floor of the library, all the books up here are just textbooks.” You huffed out, setting your bag down and taking out everything you needed. 
“That’s the whole point! It’s quiet up here” 
You can admit, that he has a point! Maybe you will actually start using the third floor more. As if you ever go to the public library without your friends dragging you there. Liking your room for studying a lot more because there are no judging eyes. 
“Okay, let’s get started! Let me see what you have already” Haechan smiled at you. 
You pulled out your notebook and quickly found the page you started to write on before handing it to Haechan. As you handed it to him, your fingers brushed, which made Haechan pull away quickly. 
You watched as his eyes read through everything you wrote. Anxiety started to fill you up. What if it was really bad and he thinks you're even more of an idiot than before? Ugh, he’s a nice guy, he wouldn't think like that. But you don’t really know him— Before your inner monologue continues Haechan put down your notebook. Shock showed in his eyes. 
“Wow, that was really good! The way you described Sensation and Perception was easy to understand. How do you usually fail with papers like this?”
Shocked that he actually liked your paper it took you a couple of seconds to register his question. “I usually get good grades on my papers and in-class work, but tests always seem to get to me.” 
“mmm, I understand,” Haechan hummed. “A lot of people have test anxiety, I have some tips I can give you if you want” 
Your eyes lit up as you nodded, eager to hear what he had to say. 
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“It’s getting quite late, maybe we should start wrapping this up?” Haechan yawned. 
You quickly looked at the time, not believing him that it was so late. You gasped, shocked at how quickly time passed with Haechan. “Oh, I better get going, before my mom starts to ask questions.” 
“Yeah, I have to get going too. It was nice hanging out with you.” Haechan quickly gathered up all his things before moving to leave. 
“Wait!” 
Haechan paused looking at you confused. 
“What are you doing tomorrow after class?” 
“Nothing, until I have to go in for work” Haechan sighed “I don’t want to study again tomorrow”
A little taken aback by the change in his tone, you quickly cleared things up “That’s not what I was going to ask you! I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out, like at the mall or something”
you couldn't quite read the emotion on Haechan’s face. Was he shocked? Happy? Confused? Maybe a little bit of each. 
“Oh um yeah, we can hang out.” 
“Good, I’ll text you the details” You smiled before turning away and leaving him to stand there not knowing what was going on in his head. 
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The final bell rang as you rushed out to find Haechan. Earlier promising that you both would take the bus to the mall together. 
Your eyes lit up seeing him standing at the bus stop, calling out a quick “Haechan” to get his attention. Which seemed to work as he found you in the crowd of other students. 
As you finally pushed through all the people to get to Haechan, your face dropped. He wasn't looking at you anymore. “What’s wrong?” 
“You don’t want to be caught hanging out with me, it will ruin your reputation.” He whispered 
Taken aback you laughed, which turned into a heavier laugher. Shocked and confused by your reaction, Haechan turned towards you, watching you laugh like you were crazy. “I’m not joking! Hanging out with me in public is literally social suicide”
You took a couple of deep breaths before answering him “Haechan, this isn't some teen drama! Who even cares about that” 
Haechan looked embarrassed by this and started to fiddle with his fingers. You saw the bus starting to pull up so you took hold of his hand. Stopping him from fiddling with them and making sure you didn't lose him to the crowd of people waiting for the bus. 
If you were paying more attention, you would have seen how bright his cheeks turned. Before quickly snapping out of it. 
As you got onto the bus, you noticed how full it was. Only noticed one seat in the back. quickly you pulled him towards the back and offered him the seat. 
Shaking his head, he told you to sit down. But you insisted that you were okay with standing. Looking around you noticed the other people starting to get annoyed, even hearing an older lady saying she hates teenage couples. 
Before he could protest, you pushed him down onto the seat and sat on his knee. “Are you happy now? It’s a win-win situation, we both get to sit now” You smiled. 
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The whole ride there was silent. Maybe the stunt you pulled on the bus was a little too much for him to handle. 
But you didn't let that stop you from grabbing his hand when the bus finally arrived at the mall. Excitedly telling Haechan about all your favorite stores and sales that are going on right now. 
He didn't seem to care when you kept dragging him to different clothing and makeup stores. It wasn't until you noticed how uncomfortable he was did you realized how rude you were being. 
“Oh shit sorry, where do you want to go next?”
 Taken back by this Haechan quickly tried to brush it off “No it’s okay, where do you want to go next?” Not letting him dodge the question you push him for an answer. “No, come on, let's go somewhere you like next!”
“Uh I like Gamestop” 
“Then we are off to Gamestop, I know where it is because it’s next to my favorite shoe store!” 
Haechan’s eyes lit up when he saw the new Lord of the Fallen had been released. “Cool! I’ve been waiting for this to come out” But as quickly as he picked it up he put it down. 
“You're not going to get it?” You questioned
“Oh no, it’s too much money” He turned to look at other things, leaving you the opportunity to grab and pay for the game without him knowing. 
Finding him in the back, you asked if he was finished looking around. Which earned you a nod. As you stepped out of the store, you held up the bag. “What did you get?” Haechan asked, confused. 
“It’s for you” You giggled handing him the bag. 
He hesitated before looking in the bag and gasping “Y/n, this is $80!” 
“That’s nothing! I love buying my friends things that I know they will like” You smiled, hooking your arm with his. “Now I'm hungry, let's go eat.” 
The food court wasn't your first choice, but haechan insisted. Arguing that he knew you were going to try to pay for his food if you went to some fancy restaurant. Which he is right, you would have. But you settled for paying for his Taco Bell instead. 
“Let's go near the carousel I love the view and plus not a lot of people sit over there”
Haechan nodded, letting you show the way. 
Everything was going very smooth. You wanted to do this again and again. But as you were in your own world you heard voices call out “Hyuck”. Haechan's eyes widened and looked around. 
Two boys, one tall and one short, sat down near you guys. 
“Long time no see, we missed you!” The taller one said either not knowing or not caring about your presence. 
The shorter one cleared his throat before asking Haechan “So are you going to introduce us” 
Haechan laughed nervously before looking at you, pointing to the shorter one “This is Huang Renjun” and then pointing to the taller one who seem to now noticed you were there “And this is Park Jisung” 
Before Haechan could speak you smiled “I'm F/N L/N!” 
Haechan winced at your mentioning your last name. You looked at the other guys and their faces dropped. Confused, you asked “what's wrong?” 
Haechan quickly cleared his throat and explained “It’s nothing! We used to know someone with that last name and so they're just surprised.” 
The two boys looked confused before nodding “Sorry, just bad memories” Renjun forced a smile before getting up and announcing “Oh we’re gonna be late for our movie, let’s go Jisung” 
They left before you could even get in another word. Noticing your shock, Haechan shakes his head “Those are my friends from my childhood, we haven't talked in a while because we go to different schools now.” 
Not wanting to push you just hummed.
Something felt weird but you didn't want to bring it up. Today has been one of your favorites and you didn't want to sour the mood by letting Haechan know his friends acted a bit rude. 
So the whole time you didn't bring it up, instead going back to your cheery self. After a few more stores, you both decided that was enough for today and Haechan really needed to get home so he could get enough sleep before having to go to his part-time job. 
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Soon days, weeks, and months flew by. Hanging out with Haechan really made things go by so quickly. You liked his company. So did your teachers, complimenting you on passing all your tests. One even accused you of cheating, but Haechan stepped in and confessed he had been helping you study.
Even your parents seemed to notice the change in your mood. Your mother loves getting her cheerful daughter back. The only people who seemed to hate the “new and improved y/n” were your best friends. It started with Jaemin accusing you of sleeping with Mr. Moon because he swore there’s no way you could have gotten scored higher on your test then him. Obviously, you were pissed that he could even suggest something like that.
So you ended up admitting to your not-so-secret tutoring sessions to your friends one day at lunch.
“So that's where you've been during lunch?” Chenle questioned. 
“Yes, we’ve been eating in the library together” 
“So you’ve been ditching us for that nerd this whole time!” Jeno’s voice raised, causing some of the other students in the cafeteria to look at your table. 
“Don’t call him a nerd!” 
“But he is one!” Jeno threw his hands up in the air. 
“Just because he gets good grades? Then why don’t you call Mark or Jaemin a nerd?”
“Y/N Come on, why are you defending him? He’s just some loser who eats in the bathroom when you're not at school” Chenle laughed, trying to get everyone to calm down. 
Taken back by how rude your best friends were, you looked around and made eye contact with Haechan. 
He was supposed to meet your friends today. He was really excited after you hyped all of them up. But as he was walking to your table, you could tell that he heard everything. 
You saw how his eyes were starting to water. 
“Maybe he is a nerd but he is way hotter than all of you! Bet he can actually get me to cum unlike any of you” You smirked knowing this would get on their nerves. Hitting it where it hurt, their egos. 
You heard Jaemin scuff, “Yeah right, we all know your type! You wouldn't even kiss him” 
Taking the challenge, you looked around and spotted Haechan again. But this time his face was red and his eyes were wide. You smirked, “wanna bet?” 
The tension in the cafeteria was thick after your bold statement, and all eyes seemed to be on the unfolding drama. Your best friends wore expressions of disbelief mixed with irritation. You made your way over to Haechan.
Haechan's eyes showed surprise, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You could feel the weight of the challenge in the air as you took a hold of his sweater collar, the fabric warm beneath your fingers. The cafeteria buzzed with hushed whispers and curious glances, but your focus was solely on him.
Pulling him down gently, your lips hovered near Haechan's ear, and you breathed out a teasing question. "Can I?" The words were soft, carrying a hint of playfulness.
In response, Haechan nodded fervently, his eyes wide with anticipation. "Please," he whispered back, his voice barely audible.
With a mischievous smirk, you seized the moment, closing the distance between your lips and Haechan lips. Time seemed to slow as the cafeteria fell into a stunned silence, and then erupted into a mix of gasps, whispers, and scattered applause. The unexpected turn of events had caught everyone off guard, including your best friends, who now wore expressions ranging from shock to disbelief.
Breaking the kiss, you stepped back. You saw how Haechan went to lean back in again. Quickly placing a short kiss to his lips you whispered “everyone watching us” His eyes widened and looked around the cafeteria. Making you giggle and whisper a hushed “Cute”
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After your little stunt in the cafeteria, everyone’s been asking you who that guy was and if you two are dating. You already knew poor Haechan was getting the same questions. 
Y/N😊❤️: People keep asking me if you’re a good kisser
Haechannie🤓🐻: Well am I?
Y/N😊❤️: Absolutely
Y/N😊❤️: What are you doing after school?
Haechannie🤓🐻: Working and then going home
Y/N😊❤️: When do you get off? Want to hang out with you
Haechannie🤓🐻: 9 pm, at the convenience store on the other side of town
Haechannie🤓🐻: we can hang out only if you promise to kiss me again
Y/N😊❤️: we’ll see ;)
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The convenience store was a far walk from your house so you asked your friend Yuna to drive you. But that didn’t stop your parents from scolding you for going out so late. All you had to say was that you were staying over at Yuna’s house. Yuna is your mom's best friend's daughter. She had no problem with this because last summer you had to do the same thing for her. 
There was only a few people at the convenience store. You saw Haechan slumped over at the counter scrolling through his phone. “Aren’t you supposed to be working”
Haechan jumped up from his sitting position, ready to be scolded by his manager. But when his eyes landed on you he shook his head “Ah you scared me! I still have 10 minutes until closing” 
“I wanted to get here early, I heard there is a cute cashier boy here” you smirked
You can already see Haechan’s face start to become a light shade of red. 
“Stop flirting with me, I'm working!” 
Before you could say a comeback, an older guy put down his stuff on the register. 
“She’s just trying to get free stuff” The random guy scoffed
Taken aback you scoff, tilting your head “What do you mean by that?”
“You’re too pretty for him”
You looked at Haechan and saw his head lower. 
Looking back at the guy you laugh “Nerdy guys are the freakiest” you winked
Haechan’s eyes widened, not being able to make eye contact with anyone. 
“All girls are the same” The guy harshly stated before throwing ten dollars on the counter and leaving. 
“How do you know I’m freaky?” Haechan busted out laughing. 
“I don’t but guys hate when their masculinity is threatened” You shrug.
“So what do you want to do after I close” 
“I don’t know, I told my parents I was staying over with a friend tonight. So I’m all yours”
“All mine? I like the sound of that” Haechan smirked leaning in “I live alone”
You gasp “How do you live alone?” 
“It’s a small place, I don’t have a relationship with my parents anymore” Haechan grabbed the keys to close the shop. “It’s not too far from here, only a five-minute walk” 
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Entering Haechan's apartment, the reality of his living space matched his earlier description. It kind of reminded you of a college dorm. Only a small living area with his bed and a tiny hallway that leads to his bathroom. 
As you took in the surroundings, Haechan couldn't help but laugh at your reaction. "I told you it was small," he remarked, his eyes glinting with amusement. "It's not the fanciest part of town, but it's affordable."
"It's nice!" you assured him, a genuine smile gracing your face.
Haechan, skeptical, teased, "You don't have to lie to me."
Your laughter filled the room. "I'm not lying! I was expecting much worse for a guy living alone." Your lighthearted comment elicited a chuckle from Haechan, getting rid of any lingering tension.
Looking around the compact space, you ask, "So, what do you want to do?"
"I was promised a kiss," Haechan said with a mischievous smirk.
Your laughter continued, but before you could respond, you felt his hand gently cup your face, pulling you into a kiss. This wasn't like the previous one in the cafeteria; it was more intense, and filled with passion.
As the kiss deepened, Haechan guided you backward until the back of your knees met his bed, causing you to gently fall onto it. Yet, he didn't break the kiss, instead, he adjusted his position to hover over you. Placing his knee between your legs, he elicited a soft moan from you. The sound only fueled Haechan's desire, and he broke the kiss momentarily, his gaze locking onto yours.
"You sound so beautiful," he murmured, his eyes fulled with desire. His fingers delicately traced the curve of your jawline, leaving a trail of electrifying sensations.
The air was charged with a blend of desire and anticipation as Haechan, deepening the kiss and found a comfortable position on top of you.
His hands, warm and assertive, traced subtle patterns along your sides, sending shivers down your spine. The small apartment seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you entangled in the intoxicating rhythm of the kiss.
As the kiss continued to deepen, Haechan's movements became more deliberate. He pressed himself against you, and the warmth of his body radiated through the layers of clothing, intensifying the sensations.
The noisy world outside seemed to disappear, leaving only the echo of shared breaths and the subtle noise of hearts beating together.
Breaking away from the kiss, Haechan's eyes held an unspoken question, seeking affirmation in the depths of your gaze. Without uttering a word, you nodded, granting permission.
Haechan's lips traced a path from your mouth, leaving a trail of lingering kisses along your jawline and down your neck. Each touch sent shivers through your body, awakening a heightened awareness of the closeness between you.
As Haechan's fingers delicately traced patterns on your skin, he whispered “God I can’t get enough of you”. 
“I need you inside of me right now” You moaned as he started to take your shirt off.
Your words seemed to ignite something in Haechan, his eyes darkening with desire. He gently removed your shirt, his touch making your skin tingle.
You felt Haechan’s warm breath against your skin as he buried his face in your breasts. The sensation of his lips approaching your skin caused you to gasp, and the sound fueled his desire. As his lips made contact with your nipple, you felt a wave of pleasure run through you.
“God, Haechan”
His lips found yours once again. The pleasure of his lips on yours left you intoxicated.The feeling of the soft sheets against your bare skin and the warmth of Haechan’s body made you feel safe, yet vulnerable. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt his lips take your nipple in his mouth yet again, and the pleasure and excitement was overwhelming. The intensity of the sensations had left you without words, and you felt yourself wanting to scream with pleasure.
“G-God”
The moan that escaped from your lips seemed to ignite something in Haechan, and he moved his mouth to your other breast, leaving a trail of hot kisses. Each one caused you to gasp with pleasure and your hands explored the his back from under his shirt. The pleasure and excitement was too much, and you needed him inside you, but he kept teasing you in different ways.
When he finally moved to kiss you again, his hands gently moved down your body to rest on your waist. He seemed to be asking if it was okay to continue, and you nodded, silent. His hands moved to take off your pants, and you felt your heart start to race. 
His touch was gentle and soft, and his lips were warm against your skin, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. You could feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you. The feeling of his skin against yours was intoxicating. As his hands kept tracing patterns across your skin. As his lips reached your thighs, you moaned with pleasure, begging for more
"Please..." you moaned, "I need you inside me."
Haechan looked up and gave you a mischievous grin, and his body tensed for a moment before he moved to undress himself. His movements left you breathless, and you stared at him as he removed his pants. The light of the room glinted off of his skin, and you felt your body start to quiver with anticipation.
His eyes seemed to penetrate you as he looked at you, as if he could see things you didn't want anyone to know about. There was a moment of silence as the two of you stared at each other, before he moved over you and hovered on top of you. The moment was perfect, the way his body molded to yours.
His lips found yours once again, and the kiss started off soft but eventually deepened. The intensity of the moment was something you had never experienced before, and your body felt on fire as his hands explored your skin. As his fingers traced patterns on your skin, you felt more and more aroused, and you moaned with pleasure as his fingers moved down across your sensitive skin to your underwear.
As you felt his fingers graze across your most sensitive parts, you gasped with pleasure, and Haechan smiled
“you’re hands please, i just need something inside of me” you begged.
Haechan smirked as he continued to tease you over your underwear. “then we have to get rid of these”
He slowly removed them before stuffing them into his nightstand.
You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as Haechan's fingers continued to tease you over your underwear. Your body throbbed with need, and you couldn't help but beg for more. The anticipation was driving you wild, and you craved the touch of his hands inside of you.
"Please, Haechan," you whimpered, your voice laced with desperation. "I need you inside me."
Haechan's smirk widened, his eyes darkening with desire. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, reveling in every moment of your vulnerability. Without a word, he slowly removed your underwear and discarded it into the nightstand.
The cool air caressed your exposed flesh, making you shudder in anticipation. Haechan positioned himself between your thighs, his gaze intense and hungry. You could feel the heat radiating off his body as he hovered over you, his breath mingling with yours.
His lips crashed onto yours once again, this time with an even fiercer hunger. The kiss was bruising, and passionate, as if he wanted to consume every ounce of your being. His hands roamed your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Every touch sent electric shocks through you, heightening your desire.
But Haechan was not one to rush. He knew the power of anticipation. His fingers danced along the curves of your thighs. You squirmed beneath his touch, unable to suppress the moans that escaped your lips.
"Patience," he murmured against your skin, his voice laced with a raw sensuality that made your heart race. "I want to savor every moment."
His words only fueled the fire within you, igniting a primal need that consumed your thoughts. You could no longer wait, your body aching and yearning for release. With desperate boldness, you reached for him and pulled him closer. Haechan's eyes gleamed with a mixture of surprise and desire as you guided his hand to where you needed him most.
Without hesitation, his fingers slipped between your slick folds, finding your throbbing core. His touch was electrifying, sending waves of ecstasy through your body. You arched your back, giving him better access as he explored every inch of you, driving you to the edge.
As his fingers moved in delicious circles, your moans filled the room, mingling with the sound of his breathless whispers in your ear. It was as if time had stopped, leaving only the two of you.
Haechan's lips found yours once again, muffling the cry that escaped from deep within you as he brushed against your most sensitive spot. Your body shook with pleasure.
Every stroke sent shockwaves coursing through your body, building the pleasure to an unbearable peak. Your hips instinctively rose to meet his ministrations, wanting to feel even closer to him. The room seemed to spin as you felt your orgasm start to wash over you.
Haechan's fingers quickened their pace, pushing you further. With a sudden burst of overwhelming pleasure, your climax finally crashed over you. Your body shuddered beneath Haechan's touch as waves of intense bliss radiated from your core. It was an explosion of ecstasy that left.
As you finally started to get all your senses back you quickly reached out to Haechan. "Let me make you feel good too"
Haechan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he chuckled nervously, avoiding your gaze. "I-I get pleasure just from giving you pleasure," he stuttered.
The corners of your lips turned up in a sly smile as you teasingly asked, "Did you cum in your pants?"
In response, Haechan groaned and buried his face on your neck. "You just sounded so beautiful, I couldn't resist," he admitted shamefully.
You couldn't help but feel a mix of desire and amusement at his confession. Pulling away from him, you leaned into captured his lips with yours. "That's incredibly hot," you muttered against his mouth before breaking into a giggle.
"Alright," you said with a mischievous glint in your eye, "let's get cleaned up...and maybe we can find a way to get out of those pants too."
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In the morning, you felt the warmth of hands around your body. With a content smile, you turned around to find Haechan already awake, looking at you. "Good morning, beautiful."
"How long have you been awake?" you inquired.
"Not too long, I didn't want to wake you up" he replied.
Leaning in to plant a morning kiss on Haechan's lips, you were halted midway. "I messed up," he confessed.
Shocked, you asked, "What do you mean?"
"I slept with my only friend," he admitted.
A chuckle escaped you. "Well, if you play your cards right, you might end up with a girlfriend instead."
He chuckled at your response, pulling you in for another kiss
As the soft morning light streamed through the curtains, the intimacy between you and Haechan deepened. The laughter from the lighthearted exchange lingered as he pressed his lips against yours.
Breaking the kiss, Haechan looked into your eyes with a mix of affection and sincerity. "I'm serious, though. I don't want this to change things between us."
You traced your fingers gently along his cheek, reassuringly. "Haechan, it doesn't change anything. We both have our pasts, and what matters is what we have now."
A grateful smile played on his lips as he held you close, appreciating the comfort of the moment. "You're amazing, you know that?"
The tenderness in his words made your heart flutter. "You're not too bad yourself," you teased, your fingers intertwining with his.
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Your mother has noticed a change in your demeanor, catching glimpses of smiles and laughter while you were on your phone. Initially, you tried to dismiss it, claiming it was just conversations with friends, but the façade crumbled when your mother overheard you on a Facetime call, and she didn't recognize the voice. Peeking into your room she also didn’t notice the face on the screen.
Now, you found yourself anxiously anticipating how your parents would react to meeting Haechan for the first time. Your mother insisted on the introduction, pointing out that you had never appeared as happy with your previous partners. Which you had to give it to her, it was true. 
While you were confident your mother would adore Haechan, your concern was with your father. He was often distant, engrossed in his role as the owner of a major technology company. His strict views on your relationships were rooted in a desire to maintain a family business, yet he doubted your ability to contribute to it.
Hoping your father would be too occupied to attend dinner wasn't far-fetched, he frequently skipped family gatherings. However, your mother's pleas for him to take a rare evening off for his "precious" daughter won him over.
When you first brought it up with Haechan he was terrified. Always saying he was too busy to meet them.
But you finally caught him. He was complaining that he hasn't seen you in some time and that he misses you. So you asked if he was free later. Implying something sexual so he would change his plans if he needed to. When he took the bait and said he would be free all weekend, you told him to get ready to meet your parents. 
As the doorbell rang, you rushed to answer it before anyone else could. "You look so handsome," you cooed, admiring Haechan in a suit that, while not perfectly fitted, he still made it look good.
Haechan, in turn, was taken aback by your appearance. Clad in a baby pink puffy spring dress with pearl accessories, you radiated elegance. The elaborate outfit was your response to your father's decision to turn a family dinner into a business-oriented event.
Warned in advance, Haechan contemplated rescheduling, but your disappointment look and tears swayed him. 
"I can't do this," he admitted.
"Yes, you can. It's okay," you reassured him, leading him toward the dining room.
As the evening unfolded, Haechan appeared more nervous than usual. Sensing his discomfort, you offered solace by whispering in his ear, "We can go to my room after we finish dinner." This seemed to ease his tension, evident in the subtle relaxation of his shoulders.
Upon entering the dining room, you wore a big smile, catching your mother's approving gaze. "Ah, this must be Haechan! I've heard great things about you," she greeted warmly.
"I've heard a lot about you too, Ms. [Last Name]," Haechan replied.
The initial interactions went smoothly. Haechan answered a few questions from your mother, and the room dissolved into various conversations. However, your father remained engrossed in discussions with his employees, seemingly oblivious to Haechan's presence.
Sensing Haechan's ongoing nervousness, you discreetly held his hand under the table. "You're doing amazing, we can sneak out soon."
As if on cue, your father redirected his attention to Haechan, acknowledging his presence. "How rude of me! I haven't even spoken to my daughter's new boyfriend," he announced. "So, what is it your parents do for a living?"
Haechan hesitated before revealing, "Well, they don't do much anymore. I work at a convenience store to pay for my apartment."
Your father raised an eyebrow. "Already working for yourself, impressive. Do you do anything else in your free time?"
Releasing the breath of air you were holding in, you smile. This was a small victory, your father rarely asked the guys you brought over questions. Not even caring for your friends. Remembering the time Jeno once threw up in your bathroom from how your father kept ignoring him. 
"My father taught me how to code when I was younger," Haechan disclosed.
"That's impressive," your father acknowledged, swirling his wine before taking a sip. "What's your surname? You look familiar."
Haechan gulped before confessing, "Lee."
A collective widening of eyes among your father's employees followed, and your father smirked. "I knew you looked familiar, Lee Donghyuck."
Confusion furrowed your eyebrows. You expected Haechan to correct your father, but instead, he flinched and looked at you.
"I'm guessing you lied to my daughter?" your father quipped. "What was the name you came up with again? Haechan."
Tears welled up in your eyes, and to salvage any remaining dignity, you stood up and hurriedly left the room.
Your mother exchanged a glance with Haechan before whispering something to him. He excused himself from the table and followed you.
You slammed the door shut, intending to cry alone. However, Haechan entered the room moments later.
"Please let me explain first," Haechan begged, attempting to pull you in an embrace, but you resisted.
"What is there to explain? Have you been lying to me this whole time?"
"No, God, no! Yes, my name is Donghyuck.. Haechan is just a nickname," he clarified. "My dad worked at your father's company, coding for years until he was fired. They wanted someone younger."
He gently held your face in his hands, "At first, I hated you. But when I saw you tearing up and running to the  janitor's closet, it made my heart hurt, so I had to follow you."
"I told you my name was Haechan because that's what I go by in school. I wouldn't have gotten the scholarship if they knew who I was related to. Your father basically runs this town! I had to!"
"I swear I was going to tell you, but then I started developing feelings for you. I couldn't risk it! This is the best thing to ever happen to me, you're the best thing to ever happen to me!"
As you stood there, emotions swirling within you, you listened to Haechan's explanation. His vulnerability and genuine regret were evident in every word.
A mixture of anger, confusion, and empathy danced on the surface of your emotions. "Haechan, why didn't you trust me enough to tell me the truth?" you asked, your voice a blend of hurt and frustration.
his eyes pleading for understanding. "I wanted to, but the fear of losing you, or jeopardizing everything we had, it paralyzed me. I never meant to lie to you. I just didn't know how to tell you."
You took a deep breath, attempting to collect your thoughts. The truth was a bitter pill to swallow, but his honesty and the vulnerability in his eyes struck a chord. "You should have trusted me, Haechan. Relationships are built on trust, not on secrets and lies."
He nodded, remorse written across his features. "I know, and I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, and I understand if you can't forgive me."
The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of everything hanging in the air. You finally spoke, "I need time to process this. It's not just about the lie but the fact that you felt you had to hide something from me. Trust is something we'll need to work on."
Haechan nodded, his eyes reflecting a mix of regret and determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, even if it takes time.”
“I love you, and I'll always be honest with you from now on," he promised, enfolding you in a tight embrace.
Your body resisted at first, still in shock of everything that just happened, but you eventually gave in, wrapping your arms around him. The familiar scent of his cologne and the warmth of his embrace made you realize how much you loved him despite the lies. 
You looked him in his eyes, studying his face before slowly letting your body finally connect your lips to his. 
Haechan’s kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it quickly grew in intensity as the passion between the two of you grew. You felt his hands on your waist as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.
Despite the initial shock and hurt, you found yourself unable to resist Haechan’s touch, his lips, the way he made you feel. You knew trust would take time to build, but right now, you couldn't resist the heat between the two of you.
Haechan’s hands moved up to your hair, tangling in the strands as he deepened the kiss even further. “Donghyuck” You moaned softly, unable to control the pleasure that coursed through you.
“I love the way you moan my name” he growled
As the kiss came to an end, you were both left breathless, panting from the intensity of the moment. You looked up into Donghyuck’s eyes, seeing the love and desire there, and you couldn't help but smile. “I love you so much” he whispered
"I love you too,"
Your eyes met his and your lips curved into a smile. "Thank you."
"For what?" he asked
"For loving me enough to tell me the truth," you responded.
“I will never hurt you again”
You stared silently, soaking in his presence, and a moment later, a small smile stretched across your lips. Donghyuck pulled you in for another heated kiss causing you to let out a small moan before pulling away slightly. 
“You promise?” voice still shaky from the kiss.
Donghyuck grinned, his hands moved to your waist. There was a brief moment of discomfort as he lifted you onto your bed, but your objection was quickly silenced once you regained your balance.
You couldn't help but giggle at the boyish grin on Donghyck’s face as he looked at you from between your legs.
“I promise” he spoke as his hands traced the edges of your panties underneath your dress, teasing you and leaving you desperate for more.
A mischievous grin spread across Donghyuck’s face as he slowly began to slide your panties down, revealing more and more of your skin. You bit your lip, enjoying the sensation as he removed the final bit of fabric.
Donghyuck’s hands quickly moved to hook your legs around his waist, and you felt his fingers move towards your wet core. He teased you for a few minutes before moving his fingers up your slit, one finger brushing against your clit.
You moaned softly, biting your lip as you tried to keep yourself from making too much noise. You couldn’t help yourself though, the sensation overwhelming you as he began to circle your clit.
The sensation was so intense you couldn’t help but squirm beneath Donghyuck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses up your clothed stomach. His fingers slowed and he looked up at you. “Shh…” he whispered, lowering his head to your chest, kissing your exposed skin as you tried to regain control of yourself.
For a few moments you could barely breathe, light kisses upon your skin driving you wild. You could feel his cock pressed against your leg, and could tell it was straining against his pants. 
“You are so gorgeous,” Donghyuck spoke softly as he moved up your body. His lips pressed against yours, his fingers teasing your clit as he moved his hand away.
Your lips were breathing heavily against his, your hips bucked as you felt him tease your clit again. You began to breathe hard, hot breaths gusting between your lips and his. "I love you” he repeated as his lips moved to your neck. He bit your neck, his lips sucking just hard enough to leave a mark.
You moaned softly as you moved your hands to his pants, fumbling with the button before pulling them and his underwear down so he could step out of them.
You felt his cock pressed against your skin, and you couldn’t help but reach out for it. You could feel his shaft pulsating against your hand as you stroked it.
Donghyuck let out a small grunt, his hips bucking into your hand as you teased the head of his cock. “goddamn” he moaned as you pulled him closer.
“I want you inside me. You could feel his shaft twitch in your hand as you said the words, your fingers tightening around the shaft as you moved to stand in front of him.
You pulled your dress over your head, tossing it to the floor as you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra. The garment fell to the ground, your breasts exposed to Donghyuck’s hungry gaze.
Donghyuck reached up, taking your breasts in his hands. He gently laid you back on the bed, his hands moving from your breasts to your hips. 
You waited with heavy breaths as he finished stripping down, your eyes eagerly scanning his chest and abdomen. Reaching for his cock again eager for him to be inside you. 
Donghyuck quickly shifted his hips, slowly sliding his cock inside you. You let out a soft moan as he slowly filled you up. He began thrusting slowly, his thrusts growing stronger and deeper.
He moaned loudly as he thrusts inside you, letting you slowly push against him. His thrusts were desperate.
As he felt his climax coming he reached down to grab your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. The connection between you intensified, your bodies moving in perfect sync. It was a dance of pleasure and desire, each movement bringing you closer to that sweet release.
As his thrusts became more urgent, his hips snapped against yours with a hunger that matched your own. The room filled with your moans and the rhythmic sound of skin slapping together. Time seemed to blur as the world around you vanished.
Your nails dug into his back, leaving red trails as he drove deeper into you. Waves of pleasure crashed over you, dragging you deeper into the abyss of ecstasy.
Donghyuck's breath grew ragged against your ear as he moved faster, chasing his climax with fervor. His grip on your hand tightened, his body trembling with anticipation.
You arched your back as you felt yourself approach climax, your hands gripping the sheets as you sought more friction. Donghyuck’s pace quickened, his cock sliding in and out of you as you felt your orgasm approach.
Your body tensed as you came closer and closer. You cried out, moaning his name as he kissed you. “Donghyuck!”
Donghyuck’s thrusts grew more and more erratic. He began to let out a series of moans as he continued to thrust. He groaned loudly, your walls tightening around his cock as he continued to thrust. You could feel his cock twitch as he came, his cum filling you up.
Donghyuck’s cock slid out of you as the two of you came down from your orgasm. You curled up against him, his arms wrapping around you as you kissed him. 
“I love you too.” you whispered, kissing his lips softly. You rested your head against his chest, and for the first time in a long time, you fell asleep without any worries.
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The morning sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. Donghyuck stirred, his eyes slowly fluttering open. He blinked sleepily and focused on the beautiful sight in front of him--your peaceful face, bathed in gentle morning light.
As he realized your arm was still snugly wrapped around him, a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. The night before had been filled with whispers, laughter, and tender kisses shared between you both. And in this quiet moment, as the world outside continued to awaken, Donghyuck felt an overwhelming sense of contentment.
Leaning in closer, he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. His touch was feather-light, melting away any lingering traces of sleep from your mind. You stirred slightly, a drowsy smile playing on your lips as you looked up at him.
"Mmm, good morning," you murmured, your voice filled with warmth and affection.
"Good morning," Donghyuck replied, his voice low and husky.
His fingers gently traced the contours of your face, his touch so tender it sent shivers down your spine. As you peered into his eyes, you could see the love that radiated from within him. It was in those moments when the world was still and quiet, that you truly understood the depth of his affections. Donghyuck was not one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but in these stolen moments, he bared his soul to you.
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taglist: @yesohhsehun @numberonekeehostan @rjreins @yutaswh0re @haechansbbg @fullsunahceah @sundamariis @sinsgaybutthatsokay @nae-vm @hcheach @snflwrhaerecs4u @jenodreamer @mystverse @lhcread @onlyoursol-ace @enchantingtreedrea @jaeimjaemin @justforme211 @jakejaehyun @nk-3554 @hyunniesvlog @bbyjayb @nodisdino @qwonii-111 @pwarkkjisung @wettestpoussy @bomi-ja
(srry if i forgot you or if it didnt tag you)
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1K notes · View notes
taurasiluvr · 5 months ago
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how you can help palestine
★ thinking about diana taurasi putting you in your place... kinda inspired by sen's strap headcanons @taurasiluv
 ⠀ ── ⠀warnings ;; nsfw under the cut, mdni. brat taming (my fav!!!), slapping, degradation, mommy kink (it's a dee smut, what do you expect?)
 ⠀ ── ⠀word count ;; 1.1k
 ⠀ ── ⠀rylin's notes ;; requests are open for those who want to send them in :p
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"didn't i tell you to cut the fucking attitude?" diana's voice rang out the kitchen, causing you to let out an irritated sigh. you paused, gripping the edge of the counter as you tried to steady your nerves.
"dee, 'm not a kid. you can't talk to me like that," you shot back, trying to keep your voice even. diana walked into the living room, her tall frame filling the doorway. she was still in her practice gear, her face glistening with sweat.
"yeah, i know you're not. you're acting a brat, and i don't like it." she replied, her tone assertive. she opened a water bottle, chugging it slowly. you took the moment to take in your girlfriend; all of her.
you rolled your eyes and turned around, going back to cutting up some fruit. "maybe i wouldn't act like a brat if you actually paid attention to me," you muttered under your breath, knowing full well she'd hear.
diana raised an eyebrow, setting the water bottle down. "what was that, baby?" she crossed her arms, watching you intently.
"nothing," you grumbled, deciding to really test her patience right now.
"no, you wanna act all big and and tough, let's hear it," diana said, stepping closer.
"i told you, nothing,"
you ignored the calls of your name as you walked toward your shared bedroom, letting the annoyance take over. diana walked in the bedroom behind you, her expression now pissed.
"don't walk away from me when we're talking," she said, her voice low and controlled, but you could feel the anger simmering beneath.
you spun around to face her, your own frustration boiling over. "what's there to talk about, dee? you're never here! i'm tired of feeling like an afterthought."
diana's eyes narrowed. "so that's what this is is about? and this is how you deal with it? by throwing a tantrum like a child?"
"well i-"
"no, i'm still talking." she repeated as your face contorted into irritation. "first of all, fix your fuckin' face. and this whole thing is because you're needy? cause you haven't had a good fuck in a while?"
you clenched your fists, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. diana's blunt words cut deep, but there was a part of you that couldn't deny the truth in them. you needed her, and the lack of attention had been gnawing at you.
"fine," she sighed as she slammed the door shut. "get on the bed, sweetheart."
you looked stunned as diana just kept glaring at you. "you wanna act all shy now, baby?"
you let out a breathe before obeying her, sitting on the bed as diana walked over toward you. she grabbed your face tightly, forcing you to look upward. her eyes bore into yours, a mix of anger and desire flickering in them at you being so submissive.
"you're not gonna pull that bratty attitude with me anymore, got it?" she said, her voice low and commanding.
you nodded, unable to find your voice. the intensity of her gaze, the way her fingers dug into your cheeks, sent a shiver down your spine. she let go of your face before landing a swift slap to your cheek, a moan coming out of your lips at the sting.
"i asked you something," she demanded, her hand finding your face again, her grip tightening slightly. "do you understand?"
"yes," you managed to whisper, your voice trembling.
"yes, what?" she prompted, leaning closer so her breath fanned across your lips.
"yes, mommy," you replied, your voice barely audible.
"good," she said, releasing your face and stepping back slightly. "now strip. wanna see you naked."
your heart pounded in your chest as you complied, your hands shaking slightly as you undressed. diana watched you intently, her eyes dark with desire. she turned around as well, rummaging through your drawer before finding her strap. she slipped it on quickly before she turned to face you once again.
once you were completely bare, you stood there, feeling vulnerable under her intense gaze. she stepped closer again, her hand trailing down your arm, sending goosebumps in its wake.
without another word, her hand gripped your head before she gestured to her strap. her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made your breath catchm as you nodded slowly, opening your mouth, you leaned forward, taking her in.
diana's other hand tangled in your hair, holding you steady as you began to move, your lips and tongue working to please her. she let out a low groan, the sound sending a thrill through you. you looked up at her, meeting her gaze, her expression a mix of dominance and desire.
"that's it, baby," she murmured, her voice rough with arousal. "just like that."
you continued, your movements becoming more confident as you found a rhythm. diana's grip on your hair tightened slightly, guiding you as you took more of her in. the taste and feel of the strap filled your senses, and you felt a rush of heat between your legs, your own arousal building.
after a few moments, diana pulled you back, her eyes dark with need. "on the bed," she commanded, her voice leaving no room for hesitation.
you obeyed, crawling onto the bed and positioning yourself on your hands and knees, your body trembling with anticipation. diana moved behind you, her hands running over your back and down to your hips, her touch somehow both possessive and gentle.
"you're going to take everything i give you," she said, her voice low and commanding. "understand?"
"yes, mommy," you replied, your voice breathless with need.
she positioned herself at your entrance, teasing you for a moment before pushing in slowly, filling you completely. you moaned, your body arching as you adjusted to the sensation. diana held your hips firmly, setting a steady pace that quickly had you gasping for breath.
she landed a couple slaps to your ass, causing a string of curses and moans to leave your mouth.
"fucking brat," she growled, her movements becoming more intense. "say it, say you're mine."
"'m yours," you managed to gasp, your body responding eagerly to her every thrust. "'m yours, dee."
the pleasure built quickly, each thrust driving you closer to the edge. diana's grip on your hips tightened, her own breathing becoming ragged as she drove you toward release.
when you finally came, it was with a cry of pure ecstasy, your body shuddering with the force of your orgasm. she pulled out gently, collapsing beside you on the bed and pulling you into her arms. you lay there together, both of you catching your breath, the intensity of the moment slowly giving way to a feeling of deep contentment.
"did i fuck all that attitude outta you now, baby?" diana managed to say as you let out a breathless laugh.
"mhm, yeah. you did," you replied.
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if you enjoyed, any interaction is greatly appreciated!
with love, rylin 𝜗𝜚
420 notes · View notes
lostfracturess · 10 days ago
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remedies and reasons | ch. 03
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pairing — professor geto x law student reader
summary — this wasn’t supposed to happen. not that miserable internship at the law firm you hated, not him becoming your doctor, and definitely not that drunken night at the bar. but he helped, and god, you needed a friend. and he did too. except it's never just friendship with him, is it? it could be perfect—messy, complicated, but perfect. if only his heart wasn’t already taken.
word count — 11.8 k
warnings — 18+ ONLY. contains explicit sexual content, age difference (10 years), doctor-patient relationship, smoking, alcohol use, mature themes, and depictions of illness. reader discretion is advised.
author's note — hey everyone! i'm back with a new chapter, and i know it's been a while. this time, we're diving back into suguru's head to explore his conflicting feelings. as always, this story is a spin-off of symptoms and causes, starting after chapter 12, but it can be read as a standalone. this chapter takes place during the events of chapter 14, where things were pretty intense, so get ready for suguru's perspective on those events, plus some extra bonding time with a certain law student.
series masterlist + playlist + ao3 + wattpad
<- prev chapter | next chapter ->
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(note: r&r reader)
What a strange fucking day.
The coffee from the hospital cafeteria tasted like burnt rubber, leaving a bitter aftertaste that matched my state perfectly. Everything felt slightly out of sorts, like the world had shifted two inches to the left while I wasn't looking, and I was the only one who noticed.
I'd put on mismatched socks this morning, didn't notice until I was already at work. Stepped in a puddle that somehow soaked through my supposedly waterproof shoes. Small things, really. Inconsequential. But they piled up like evidence that I wasn't quite myself lately.
And on top of that, my mind kept drifting back to the sports bar, to easy laughter and surprisingly good conversation. To someone who actually managed to make me forget about work for a few hours. It was... nice. Different. Unsettling. Probably why I let things get carried away. 
What the hell had gotten into me?
I wasn't the type to hook up in bar bathrooms. I didn't do reckless. I was the responsible one, always cleaning up other people's messes — usually Satoru's. 
Yet here I was, distracted and unfocused because of a law student who somehow got under my skin without me even realizing it. Frustrating. That's what it was.
I stared at the ruined samples in front of me, the third batch I'd had to throw out this morning. A stupid beginner's mistake — mixing the reagents in the wrong order like some first-year med student. The solution had turned an ugly shade of red instead of the pale blue it was supposed to be, completely useless now.
I slammed the test tube rack down harder than necessary, making the glass containers rattle. A few drops of the failed experiment splashed onto my lab coat. Perfect. Just perfect.
I glanced at Satoru across the lab bench. He'd been staring at the same equation for twenty minutes now, his leg bouncing that infuriating rhythm that made me want to stab him with my pen. The same nervous energy that had been radiating off him all morning. Neither of us was really focused on work it seemed.
"You going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to guess?" I finally asked, perhaps partly to distract myself from my own thoughts.
He blinked, as if just remembering I was there. "Nothing's wrong."
"Really? Because you've been glaring at that formula for like an hour."
"Maybe I just enjoy looking at my own handwriting. It's pretty, isn't it? Unlike yours."
"At least the nurses can read my prescriptions without three callbacks."
"That was one time." He spun in his chair to face me. "And the pharmacy figured it out eventually."
I need a cigarette.
No, I need several cigarettes.
I was about to retort when a soft knock echoed through the lab. We both turned toward the door, and suddenly all my annoyance vanished. It was her.
Standing there in the doorway, clutching a folder to her chest, looking almost nervous. Her eyes darted between Satoru and me, and I could see the moment she registered the awkwardness of the situation.
She was wearing a crisp blazer, her hair pulled back neatly — every inch the professional law intern. Maybe it was the confused sleep deprivation talking, but I swore I caught a hint of pink creeping across her cheeks when our eyes briefly met before she looked away.
"Oh," she said. "I didn't expect to find you both here."
Satoru straightened up, his demeanor shifting instantly to doctor mode. "Everything okay? Is it your medication?"
"No, no," she quickly assured him. "Actually, I'm here about the... um, the legal consultation from the other day?" She held up the folder. "Mr. Higurama asked me to get both your signatures on these forms."
"More paperwork?" Satoru groaned theatrically. "They really love their forms at that firm, don't they? I bet they have forms for their forms."
She laughed — not the bold, uninhibited laugh from the bar, but something smaller, more contained. Professional. It was strange seeing her like this, all sharp edges and formal wear, when just days ago we'd been trading stories over beer and darts.
"Well," she said, stepping fully into the lab, "we do love forms, yes." Her eyes landed on the mess of failed experiments on our benches, the chaos of scribbles on the whiteboard. I just now realized how utterly chaotic the whole lab was. "Bad time?"
"No," I said, maybe too quickly. "Just a rough morning in the lab."
"Rough morning?" Satoru raised an eyebrow. "This is the first time I've seen him mess up this experiment since university. Usually he's annoyingly perfect."
I shot him a look that promised murder. Or at least severe bodily harm.
She glanced between us, a hint of unease, her fingers tightening on the folder as she took a small step back. "Should I come back later? When there's less...chaos?"
"No, it's fine," I said, reaching for the folder. Our fingers brushed as she handed it over, and I found myself wondering if she was still thinking about that night too. Probably not. She was just here doing her job.
I opened the folder, scanning the documents inside. More forms about professional conduct and boundaries. The irony wasn't lost on me.
"These need both our signatures?" I asked.
She nodded. "Mr. Higurama was very specific about that."
I grabbed a pen and signed where indicated, then passed the folder to Satoru. As he signed, I caught her stifling a yawn.
"Long night?" I asked.
"Just law student things," she replied with a tired smile. "Coffee and case studies until 3 AM."
"Sounds familiar," I said, thinking of my own sleepless night, though for very different reasons. "Though I prefer my all-nighters with better coffee than whatever they serve at that firm."
"Our coffee is not that bad actually—"
Before she could finish, Satoru thrust the folder at her. "Here," he said. "All signed and ready to go back to the fun police." He glanced at his phone, then suddenly stood up. "Speaking of which, I need to go. Got a... thing."
A thing? I raised an eyebrow at him, but he was already halfway to the door. "Don't mess up any more experiments, Suguru," he called over his shoulder, and then he was gone, leaving us alone in the now quiet space.
She stood there, folder clutched to her chest, looking unsure. "Is Dr. Gojo okay? He seems a bit on edge."
"Not more than usual, I guess."
"So that failed experiment over there?" She gestured past me with her finger.
I glanced at my failed experiment, which had now turned an alarming shade of green that definitely wasn't in any textbook I'd ever read. Either I'd just discovered a new chemical compound, or I was about to violate several safety protocols. Possibly both.
"Observant. They teach you that in law school?"
"No, that's just natural talent," she said, some of that bar night ease creeping back into her voice. "Though I have to say, watching things change color isn't usually part of my job description."
"Consider it a bonus lesson in chemistry." Before I could overthink it, I heard myself asking, "Have you had lunch yet?"
She hesitated, shifting the folder in her arms. "I should probably get these back to Mr. Higurama—" Just then, the folder slipped from her grasp, papers scattering across the lab floor. "Oh god," she muttered, immediately dropping to her knees to gather them.
In her haste to collect the papers, she bumped into the lab bench. The rack of test tubes rattled precariously. I lunged forward, managing to catch the rack just as it started to tip, but not before one of the tubes spilled its contents onto the counter.
"I'm so sorry!" She scrambled to her feet, papers clutched messily to her chest, her cheeks now bright red. "I swear I wasn't trying to sabotage your experiments. Though they were already ruined anyway—not that that makes it better! I just meant—"
I watched her frantically trying to collect the papers, a small smile tugging at my lips despite the chaos. "I'll pay," I offered, cutting off her rambling. "Besides, we should probably get going, that failed experiment's probably going to turn purple next and who knows what happens then."
She paused mid-reach for another paper, looking up at me with wide eyes. "Are you threatening me with your failed experiment to get me to have lunch with you?"
"Is it working?"
She glanced at the door where Satoru had disappeared, then back at me, fidgeting with the crumpled papers in her arms. "You know what? Yeah. If you really want to—I mean, after I almost destroyed your lab—"
"Well, you're certainly making my morning more interesting."
She tried to smooth out the crumpled papers, only managing to wrinkle them more. "Oh, I mean—Is that a good thing? Because I can't tell if you're complimenting me or—"
"Come on, Attorney, let's get you away from any breakable objects," I said, already shrugging off my lab coat and heading for the door. "I know a good place and trust me after that, you'll never defend that law firm sludge again."
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(note: r&r reader)
The café was tucked away in a narrow alley, the kind of place you'd walk right past unless you knew what you were looking for. Inside, the air was thick with the scent of freshly ground coffee beans and something sweet baking in the back.
She looked around, taking in the worn leather chairs and mismatched mugs, the walls lined with old medical textbooks and vintage anatomy charts. "So this is where all the doctors hide out?"
"Best kept secret in the hospital district," I said, leading her to a small table by the window. "Though I'm pretty sure I'm violating some sacred code by bringing a lawyer here."
The owner, an elderly man who'd been serving coffee to sleep-deprived medical staff for longer than I'd been alive, brought over two cups without us having to order. The coffee was served in glass cups, the dark liquid nearly black, with a perfect crema on top.
"What is this?" she asked, leaning forward to inspect the cup.
"Just trust me."
She raised an eyebrow. "The last time a doctor told me to 'just trust them,' I ended up with a prescription that made me sleep for sixteen hours straight."
"Satoru's work, I assume?"
"Maybe."
I watched as she lifted the cup, inhaling. Her eyes widened slightly. "Oh."
"Try it," I said, finding myself oddly invested in her reaction.
She took a careful sip, and I couldn't help but smile as her expression changed — surprise, then joy, then something close to awe.
"Holy shit," she whispered, staring at the cup like it held the secrets of the universe.
"Better than the law firm sludge?"
"Okay, fine, you win." She took another sip, closing her eyes. "What is this?"
"Family secret, apparently. The owner won't tell anyone, not even me." I picked up my own cup. "Though I have my theories."
"Care to share?"
"Doctor-patient confidentiality."
She kicked me lightly under the table. "I'm not your patient."
"No," I agreed, the words carrying more weight than I'd intended. "You're not."
She looked away, suddenly very interested in the anatomy chart on the wall, a slight flush creeping up her neck. I caught myself enjoying her reaction more than I probably should.
"You know," I said, breaking the silence, "you still haven't shown me your paintings."
Her eyes snapped back to mine. "What?"
"At the bar, you promised to show me your work someday." I took another sip of coffee. "Unless that was just the alcohol talking."
"I did not promise anything," she protested, but her fingers fidgeted with the handle of her cup. "And I don't really show my work to people."
I leaned back in my chair, studying her. "Not even to doctors who hold your hand during MRI scans?"
"Especially not to doctors who do such unethical things, Dr. Geto." But there was a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
"I seem to recall you saying my hands were very good or something."
Her cheeks flushed pink, and she fumbled with her coffee cup, nearly sending it sloshing over the rim. "I did not say that."
"No? Must have been another patient then."
"Can we please pretend I never said anything about your hands?" She shifted in her seat, clearly flustered. "Or anything else that happened that day?"
"Show me your paintings and I might consider selective amnesia."
"Are you actually blackmailing me with my own embarrassing moments?" She leaned forward slightly. "I should sue you for violation of doctor-patient confidentiality."
"Please don't. I have enough lawyers breathing down my neck as it is."
"Oh, I know." Her lips twitched into a smile. "Your case files take up an entire cabinet at the firm."
"Now who's the unethical one?" I couldn't help but smile. "Pretty sure those files are supposed to be confidential."
"See the positive." The corner of her mouth quirked up, and she propped her chin on her hand. Her sleeve slid down slightly. "I can help you. Though my rates are quite steep—one painting viewing equals one legal consultation."
"Brutal negotiation tactics. They're teaching you well at that firm."
She bit her lip, fighting back a grin. The gesture was distracting in a way I didn't want to examine too closely. Then, she wrapped her hands around her cup, leaning forward slightly. "Speaking of teaching, how's that research project going?"
I groaned, running a hand through my hair. "Can we not? I'd rather hear about your law stuff."
"Oh god no," she groaned in return, slumping back in her chair. "Let's not talk about that either."
"That bad, huh?"
"You have no idea. Just endless stacks of papers and Chad being... well, Chad."
"Chad?" I raised an eyebrow.
"This awful intern who thinks he owns the place because his dad's some stupid partner. Like, today he tried to take credit for my research on the Yamamoto case, which, by the way, I spent three nights working on. And then he had the nerve to correct my citations in front of everyone, except he was wrong. He was completely wrong, and everyone knew it, but nobody said anything because, you know, his dad and everything—" 
She stopped abruptly, her eyes widening as if just realizing she'd been rambling again. Her hands fluttered nervously around her coffee cup. "Sorry, I'm talking too much, aren't I?"
"No," I said, surprising myself with how much I meant it. "I like hearing you talk."
Her eyes met mine, startled. "You do?"
"Yeah. It's... refreshing, I mean hearing about anything that's not related to someone's blood and lab work." I traced the rim of my cup with my finger. "Is this Chad giving you trouble? Because I could always stop by the firm, maybe have a word with him."
She let out a startled laugh, then immediately looked embarrassed by how loud it was. A few other people glanced our way, making her shrink slightly in her seat.
"What, are you offering to intimidate him for me?"
"I can be quite intimidating when I want to be."
"That's a weird thing to say about oneself."
"You say way more weird things." I glanced at my watch and couldn't help but sigh. "Speaking of intimidating, I've got a class of overconfident med students waiting."
"Oh." She looked up. "Right, of course."
I should leave it at that. Get up, go back to work, stop whatever this is before it gets complicated. I have enough on my plate with the research, with Satoru acting weird, with everything else. The last thing I need is to get involved with—
My hand brushed against the crumpled paper in my coat pocket. That flyer some art student had thrust into my hands this morning at the campus entrance, just like they did to everyone else rushing past. 
"Actually, there's this art exhibition next weekend at the city gallery."
What the hell am I doing?
She blinked at me, her coffee cup frozen halfway to her mouth. "Are you... are you asking me to go to an art exhibition?"
This is stupid. I don't even like art exhibitions. They're crowded and pretentious, and I have better things to do with my weekend. Like work. Or sleep. Or literally anything else. I'm really not quite myself lately.
"I mean, if you want to. I don't understand much about art, but—" I rubbed the back of my neck. "If you show me what to look for, I'm sure I'll like it."
That sounded so lame. Why am I even doing this?
"You mean that?" she asked. "Because you don't have to pretend to be interested in art just because I—"
"I want to," I cut her off. "Besides, maybe you can explain to me why people pay millions for paintings of soup cans."
She laughed, that genuine, unguarded sound from the bar, and I was glad I hadn't thrown the flyer away. "Those are Warhol, and they're actually a commentary on mass production and consumer culture in—" She stopped herself, cheeks flushing. "And I'm doing it again."
"Saturday at 6?" I asked.
"Yeah," she said softly. "Saturday at 6 sounds good."
As I stood to leave, the absurdity of the situation hit me. Here I was, voluntarily signing up for an afternoon of art appreciation. What was wrong with me? 
The closest thing to art in my apartment is that anatomy poster Satoru got me as a joke last Christmas. If he ever found out about this, I'd never hear the end of it. But somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care.
It wasn't until I was back in my office at the university, staring at a stack of research papers, that I realized something strange — I hadn't smoked since morning. My usual lunchtime cigarette break had come and gone without me even noticing. 
My pack sat untouched in my coat pocket. I pulled it out now, turning it over in my hands, and somehow I found myself oddly looking forward to learning about soup cans.
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(note: s&c reader)
The lecture went fine. It always did.
Talk about neurons, synapses, action potentials. Watch sleepy med students pretend to take notes while secretly checking their phones. Answer the same questions I'd answered a hundred times before. Rinse and repeat.
Now, hours later, I was back in the lab. The chaos from this morning had been methodically cleaned away. New solutions mixed, properly this time. Everything in its place, color-coded and labeled with my precise handwriting.
The lab was quiet at this hour. Just the soft hum of equipment and the occasional footsteps in the hallway outside. It was peaceful, in its own way. Or maybe just lonely.
I checked my watch — 5:47 PM. I should probably head home, but then what? Watch some mindless TV show? Read another research paper? Order takeout that would sit in my fridge until it went bad? God, when did my life become this predictable?
The solution in front of me turned the correct shade of blue this time. Finally. I made a note in my lab book, but my mind wandered. About Satoru's strange behavior. About her. About how she looked at Satoru like he hung the moon and stars just for her.
I pushed away from the bench so forcefully my chair squeaked against the floor. My hands were already reaching for my cigarettes before I made it to the window. The night air was cool against my face as I lit up, inhaling deeply.
This was exactly what I didn't need to think about. Not now. Not ever. Focus on the research. On the failed experiments. On anything else but the ache that threatened to consume me whenever I let my mind wander in her direction.
The cigarette burned down too quickly. I lit another one immediately. What kind of person fell for their best friend's girlfriend? What kind of friend was I to even—
No. Stop that train of thought right there.
The smoke curled up into the night sky, hoping it would carry with it all the things I couldn't let myself feel. All the words I couldn't say. All the moments I'd had to watch them together, pretending my heart wasn't being torn to shreds. I'm pathetic.
I exhaled another cloud of smoke into the night air. Maybe that was why I asked about the art exhibition. God knew I could use the distraction. From the research, from Satoru, from her.
And she — there was something in her eyes. That familiar look of someone drowning in circumstances they couldn't control. She needed a break too, probably more than she admitted. Maybe this Chad was partly responsible. Speaking of Chad—
I tapped my cigarette against the windowsill. It wouldn't be hard to figure out his real name. Law firms kept records of their interns, and with his father being a partner. One quick search in the hospital database and I could probably find something interesting in his medical history. Everyone had secrets. Maybe something embarrassing. Something that would make him think twice about—
What the hell am I thinking? I stubbed out my cigarette, leaving a black smear. Great. Now I'm contemplating abusing my position to dig up dirt on some spoiled law intern. Real professional, Suguru. Really living up to that ethical conduct seminar.
Though the thought of his smug face when he tried to take credit for her work—
No. Absolutely not. I'm better than that.
I lit another cigarette, trying to ignore how satisfying the idea was. I leaned back in my chair, staring at the ceiling. Saturday at 6.
At least that was something to look forward to. Something normal. Well, as normal as anything could be when you were a neurosurgeon voluntarily going to an art exhibition with a law student who was also your patient, technically. What did people even wear to art exhibitions?
My pen tapped against the lab book as my phone buzzed.
[2:34 PM] s&c reader: Need any help in the lab today? I can come in if you want.
[2:35 PM] Me: Just boring prep work left. Take the day off.
Three dots appeared, then disappeared. Then appeared again.
[2:37 PM] s&c reader: You sure? I can help with the prep too.
[2:37 PM] Me: Rest. Doctor's orders.
[2:40 PM] s&c reader: I hate when you say that.
I found myself smiling at my phone, picturing her frustrated face as she typed that. She was probably pouting right now, hunched over her textbooks in the library, annoyed that I'd pulled rank. That stubborn set of her jaw when she tried not to admit defeat. Just like him.
The smile faded as quickly as it had come. I immediately set my phone down and took a deep breath. I should be thinking about the research. About tumor markers and treatment protocols. Not about my student who was probably still in the library despite my orders to rest.
No. Not about her at all.
I glanced at my phone again, fighting the urge to text her back. Focus, I told myself. Work. Don't do anything stupid. God, this day really couldn't get any more fucking frustrating. 
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(note: s&c reader)
The lab was quiet.
I'd been at this for hours, my eyes straining in the bright light of the laminar flow hood, my back aching from hunching over the bench. The familiar chemical smell of ethanol lingered in my nostrils from the endless rounds of sterilizing equipment. 
I straightened up, rolling my shoulders in a futile attempt to ease the knots. A glance at the clock told me it was late, far later than I'd intended to stay. 
The steady hum of the cell incubator behind me had become white noise hours ago, punctuated only by the occasional click of the temperature regulator. I was exhausted, ready to call it a night. But I couldn't leave, not yet.
There was still work to be done, still samples to process. The micropipette tips rattled in their box as I reached for another one, the sound sharp in the empty lab. My stomach rumbled in response. 
I sighed, tugging the elastic from my hair and running my fingers through the dark strands before twisting them back into a loose knot. A few pieces escaped, falling around my face as I looked over to the window, staring out at the darkening sky. 
The sun had already dipped below the horizon, the last streaks of orange fading into deep purple. The campus was quiet, most of the other staff and students long gone for the day.
My stomach growled again, reminding me that I hadn't eaten since lunch as I returned to work. I weighed my options—power through these last samples and face my empty fridge at home, or brave the vending machine downstairs for stale coffee and a questionable sandwich—
Then I heard the door open behind me. I didn't turn, couldn't turn, my hands still buried in the fragile work, the pipette cool in my gloved fingers. But then I heard her voice, and my heart stopped.
"Suguru?"
God, how I wanted to turn to her, to drink in the sight of her. But I couldn't, not yet.
"Hey," I replied, my gaze still fixed on the vials before me. "Didn't expect you here today. Sorry, the fun part's already over." I completed the transfer, then turned to face her, a easy smile on my lips. But the smile died as soon as I saw her face.
I didn't respond immediately, too startled by her appearance. Even in the dim light, it was impossible to miss.
She looked small, fragile in a way I had never seen before. Her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks pale. She had been crying, that much was clear. She hugged herself tightly, as if she was trying to physically hold the pieces of herself together. 
Seeing her like that, so broken, tore at something deep inside me, something I hated, something fierce and aching.
"What happened?" 
The question was inevitable. But I already knew. There was only one thing, one person, that could make my pretty girl cry.
Her eyes were fixed on the floor, but I could see the tears welling up, threatening to spill over. "Can we work on something?" she finally asked, her voice small. "Please."
I hesitated, torn between the need to comfort her and the knowledge that it wasn't my place. "Do you want to talk about it?" I offered, even though I knew the answer before she even shook her head.
"No," she choked out. "I can't. I need—I need to focus on something else. Anything else. Or I think I'll fall apart."
I understood that feeling all too well. The need to lose yourself in work, to bury yourself in the familiar of the lab until the rest of the world faded away. But I hated that she felt it too, hated that he had driven her to this point. Hated him, with a fury that burned white-hot in my veins.
And the worst part was that I knew there was more, more that he was hiding from her. More lies, more secrets, more ways he was hurting her without her even knowing. And it made me want to scream, to rage, to tear him apart with my bare hands for daring to hurt her like this.
But I couldn't. All I could do was be here for her, in whatever way she needed me. 
"Please, Suguru." Her voice was pleading, desperate. "Can we just work?"
I hesitated for a moment longer, my gaze lingering on her face, taking in the vulnerability etched there. The urge to pull her into my arms, to hold her until the pain faded away, was almost overwhelming. But I knew I couldn't cross that line, not now, not like this.
Finally, I nodded and peeled off my gloves, setting them aside. I reached for her, gently undoing the tight knot of her crossed arms. Her hands were like ice in mine, trembling and fragile. I took one hand in both of mine, wishing I could take away her pain.
"What do you want to work on?" I asked softly, my thumb tracing soothing circles on the back of her hand.
"The nanoparticles," she said, her voice a little steadier. "We still need to narrow down the potential materials and targeting ligands, right?"
"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile. "Anything you want."
Anything for you. 
The words echoed in my mind, a bitter reminder of the truth I could never speak aloud. I loved her, had loved her for longer than I cared to admit, but she was with Satoru. And no matter how much it hurt to see her like this, to know that he was the one who had caused her pain, I couldn't let my own feelings get in the way.
So I pushed them down, buried them deep, and focused on the work. On being the friend she needed, the partner she could rely on. Even if it meant ignoring the part of me that screamed for something more. Even if it meant watching her break, again and again, and being powerless to stop it.
We worked in silence for a while, the familiar routine of the lab providing distraction. For her. For me. She focused intently on the task at hand, her brow furrowed as she carefully prepared the samples. Like everything she did, with unwavering precicion.
I watched her out of the corner of my eye, my heart aching at the tension in her shoulders, the tightness around her eyes. 
Time seemed to slip away as we lost ourselves in the work, the outside world fading away. I caught myself stealing glances at her, watching how her hair fell forward when she leaned over the samples. Every little gesture a knife to my heart. 
These moments were the hardest — seeing her so close, yet having to maintain this careful distance. Watching her push herself to exhaustion, knowing I couldn't hold her, couldn't comfort her the way I desperately wanted to.
I averted my gaze and glanced at the clock, just now realizing how late it had gotten.
"Hey," I said softly, breaking the silence. "It's nearly midnight. We should probably call it a day."
She looked up, blinking as if coming out of a trance. "Oh, no I have to finsish this first." She looked over to me and my stern gaze must have silenced her objections.
I hesitated for a moment, then reached out and touched her arm gently, ignoring the way my skin burned at the contact. "Come on. I want to show you something."
She followed reluctantly as I led her to the far corner of the lab, where our old microscope sat — the one we rarely used anymore since getting the newer models. I pulled out a worn slide from the cabinet.
"Remember this?" I asked, setting up the microscope. "From your first week here?"
She leaned in to look, and I had to force myself to step back. "Oh god, my first attempt at cell staining. It's horrible."
"Actually," I said, adjusting the focus, "look at this part here." I pointed to a small cluster of cells. "See how you managed to isolate that specific population? Most students take months to get that kind of precision. You did it on your first try."
She was quiet for a moment, studying the slide. A look I adored so much. And for a moment, the pain and hurt seemed to fade away. 
"You've got instincts that can't be taught," I continued. "That's why you're going to crack this nanoparticle puzzle too."
"You really think so?"
"I know so." I pulled out another slide. "Here, look at your work from last month. See how far you've come?"
She studied it for a moment, then shook her head. "It's still not perfect, the staining could be cleaner, the resolution better. I should be doing better by now."
"You're being too hard on yourself." Always chasing perfection, just like him. "You can't expect to master everything in a few months. Even Satoru took years to—" I caught myself, watching her shoulders tense at his name. Wrong thing to say. "What I mean is, you're already exceeding everyone's expectations. Except maybe your own."
She fell quiet, turning back to the microscope. I watched as she adjusted the focus. Finally, she straightened up from the microscope, turning to face me, and there it was — that spark in her eyes I'd grown to love, the one that made my heart stutter every time.
"We should try adjusting the polymer composition," she said suddenly. "Maybe if we modified the surface charge—"
I smiled, relief flooding through me at seeing that spark return. "Whatever you want to try. I'm right here with you. But tomorrow, okay? After a bit of sleep."
"Thank you," she said softly, leaning back in her chair and stretching her arms above her head. A small yawn escaped her. "Sorry for taking up so much of your time. You must have been here for hours."
"No, not at all," I lied, watching as she rolled her shoulders to work out the stiffness. In truth, I'd been at the lab since dawn, but she didn't need to know that.
I swallowed hard, my heart suddenly racing. "You know I'm always here for you. No matter what."
We remained silent for a moment, the weight of everything unsaid crowded in my throat — how much I cared, how seeing her hurt made me want to tear the world apart, how every smile she gave me was torture.
"Come on," I said finally, breaking the spell before I could do something stupid. "Let's get out of here. I think we both need some sleep."
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(note: s&c reader)
Cold autumn air burned in my lungs as I pushed myself harder, feet pounding against the leaf-strewn path. A thick blanket of mist hung low between the trees on my usual morning run, though nothing about this morning felt usual.
I hadn't slept. How could I?
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her face. The way she looked so small, so broken. The tears she tried to hide. The trembling in her hands as we worked. The memory of those words made me stumble, my running shoes skidding on wet leaves, made my chest tight with something painful.
I picked up my pace, as if I could somehow outrun the guilt of my own thoughts. Because every time I saw her like this, a treacherous part of me whispered, I would never make you cry. I would never give you reason to doubt yourself. I would cherish every brilliant, imperfect moment.
Damn it.
I'm a terrible friend. To both of them.
The park was almost empty at this hour — just a few other early risers and their dogs. A jogger passed, giving me a brief nod. It was my routine, something that usually helped clear my head, but not today. Not when I couldn't stop thinking about how she looked last night, working herself to escape whatever he'd done this time.
What kind of man watches the woman he loves hurt like this and does nothing? Someone so passionate, so full of life, slowly dimming because he can't get his shit together—
Stop it. Stop thinking about her like that.
I stopped abruptly, hands on my knees, breathing hard. A cloud of vapor formed with each exhale, disappearing into the cold morning air. My t-shirt was soaked with sweat despite the chill.
This isn't my business. I've told myself this a hundred times. Their relationship, their problems — none of it concerns me. I'm just her professor. Her research partner. Just his friend. But friends don't let friends destroy the people they claim to love.
And I can't keep pretending I don't see what's happening. Can't keep watching her slowly break apart while he—
Before I knew what I was doing, I was heading back to my car. To hell with my day off. To hell with staying out of it. I've watched this play out for too long, kept my mouth shut for too long. Sorry, Satoru. But we need to talk.
I stormed through the university hallways, my footsteps thundering off the walls, still in my damp training clothes that clung uncomfortably to my skin. The lab door was ahead, and through the window I could see him.
Satoru was sitting in his chair, staring blankly at the whiteboard where incoherent scribbles were scattered, just like yesterday.
In two strides, I crossed the room and grabbed the back of his chair, spinning it around to face me. He looked awful — pale, unshaven, his hair a mess. The sharp scent of coffee couldn't mask something else on his breath. His eyes were bloodshot. I didn't care.
"What the hell did you say to her?" I snapped.
Satoru didn't even seem surprised by my presence. "Wow, that's a pretty broad question, don't you think?"
"Cut the bullshit, Satoru. You know exactly what I'm talking about."
He glanced up then, one eyebrow arched, that infuriatingly casual look I'd seen a thousand times before. "Damn, Suguru. Who pissed in your cornflakes this morning?"
Something snapped inside me. Before I could think better of it, I was there, hands gripping the arms of his chair, caging him in. Close enough to see the muscle working in his jaw. "I'm gonna ask you this one time and one time only. What happened between you two?"
"Wow, you're really close." He glanced pointedly at the narrow space between us, but I caught the way his fingers tightened on the armrest. "We had a disagreement, that's all," he added, his tone dismissive.
"A disagreement?" The laugh that escaped me was harsh. I pushed away from his chair, turning so I wouldn't have to look at him. My hand scraped roughly across my face, trying my best not to take a hit on him. "She was in tears, Satoru. She could barely get the words out."
He didn't answer. Just straightened up, brushed imaginary dirt from his lab coat. Then he was on his feet, moving past me to the whiteboard as if I wasn't even there. As if we weren't having this conversation.
He picked up a marker, adding to the chaos of scribbles already there — equations that went nowhere, diagrams that made no sense.
"God, would you just—" I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "You can't just ignore this, Satoru."
His knuckles went white around the marker. For a second, I thought he might actually turn around and hit me.
"How long are you gonna keep doing this to her?" I pressed. "Until she breaks completely?"
"You think I'm not aware of that," he muttered, still facing the board.
"Then fucking stop. If you can't treat her right, just let her go."
That got him. He spun around, eyes hard. "Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"
I blinked, taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Satoru laughed, but there was no humor in it. "Come on, Suguru. Don't act like you haven't been waiting for this. Waiting for your chance."
"That's not—" The words stuck in my throat. "This isn't about me."
"No?" He took a step closer. "Then what is it about? Why do you care so much?"
"Because she deserves better than this. And you know it."
"Better? You mean like you?" His lips curled into something cruel. "Too bad she's not yours to care about, huh? Even though you think you'd be so much better for her than me." He tilted his head, eyes cold. "Funny, isn't it? She doesn't want you, even knowing how bad I am for her. What does that say about you?"
The words hit like a physical blow, each word a serrated edge twisting in my gut. It took everything in me not to grab him by the throat. "You're being a dick."
"And you're being a lying piece of shit. When were you gonna tell me?" His voice dropped dangerously low. "About how you feel about her?"
"This isn't about me," I repeated through gritted teeth. "This is about what you're doing to her."
"You don't know anything about us."
I stepped closer, close enough to see the shadows under his eyes. "What happens when she finds out the truth, huh? When you're passed out in some hospital bed? That how you want her to learn about it?"
Something flickered in his eyes — pain, maybe guilt — but it was gone in an instant.
"Stay out of it," he said, his voice cold. "Just... stay out of it."
He turned back to the board. I watched him, this man I'd known my whole life, suddenly feeling like a stranger.
"What happened to you?" I asked quietly.
He didn't turn around. "Yeah," he said, his voice heavy. "Guess we'd all like to know, wouldn't we?"
I watched him scribble new, illogical equations on the whiteboard, this stranger wearing my best friend's face, and for a moment I saw echoes of who we used to be.
Late nights in the university library, surrounded by towers of medical textbooks. Satoru falling asleep on his notes, drooling on diagrams of the nervous system while I threw paper balls at his head to wake him up. The way we'd quiz each other until sunrise, high on caffeine and the shared dream of becoming surgeons.
Our residency years, which were nothing but brutal and endless. Sleeping in on-call rooms, stealing each other's coffee, covering for each other when we were dead on our feet. Learning to navigate the maze of hospital politics together. 
The rush of our first successful surgeries, the crushing weight of our first losses.
Even when things got bad, when the pressure started getting to him, when the pills became more than just a way to stay focused during exam season, he never shut me out completely. He'd show up at my door at 3 AM, shaking and sweating, and I'd let him in without a word. We'd sit in silence until the sun came up, until he could breathe again.
I was there through all of it. The interventions, the relapses, the promises to get clean. The nights when he'd call me, voice slurred, talking about how he didn't know how to go on. I'd talk him down, drive across town to pick him up from whatever hole he'd crawled into. 
We were brothers in everything but blood.
But now—
Now he stood there, shoulders rigid, adding meaningless equations to an already chaotic board. The gap between us felt wider than the few feet of lab floor. When did that happen? When did we stop being able to tell each other everything?
Was it when she came into our lives? When he fell in love with her? When I—
No. It was before that. The distance had been growing for a while, so gradually I hardly noticed. Like watching someone drift away on an outgoing tide, too slow to notice until they're already too far to reach.
The marker squeaked against the whiteboard. The sound grated on my nerves, like everything about him did these days. His secrets, his dismissive attitude, the way he kept everyone at arm's length while slowly self-destructing.
"Do you remember," I found myself saying, "that night in our second year of residency? When that kid crashed on my table?"
His hand stilled on the board.
"I was a mess afterward. Convinced I'd missed something, that it was my fault. You came to my place and we sat on the floor until morning, going over every detail of the surgery until I finally believed that I couldn't have saved him."
He didn't turn around, but I saw his shoulders tense.
"What happened to us, Satoru?"
The marker dropped from his hand, clattering against the metal tray. The sound echoed in the quiet lab.
"I don't know" he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper, "I'm tired of it all."
We stood there, two people who had once finished each other's sentences, now unable to find the right words. Silence stretched, thick and suffocating, filled with twenty years of shared history that suddenly felt meaningless.
I wanted to grab him, shake him, make him see what he was doing to himself. To her. To us. But I stayed where I was, the distance between us feeling more insuperable by the second. 
This strange, hollow feeling in my chest — was this what growing apart felt like? This gradual realization that the person standing before me, had become someone I didn't recognize?
But the details were still there—the slight crook in his nose from that basketball accident in high school with him, laughing it off even as blood dripped onto his jersey—the white line across his knuckles from that fight behind the gym, my own fists aching as I pulled him away—the small scar above his eyebrow from when we tried to climb that tree in sixth grade, both of us sworn to secrecy, telling our parents we fell off our bikes. 
Every mark told a story I could recite in my sleep, yet somehow, they all added up to someone I didn't know anymore. Like looking at a familiar photograph that had been subtly altered — all the pieces were there, but the picture was wrong.
My best friend, my brother, the person who knew me better than anyone — when did he become such a stranger? When did our comfortable silences turn into this suffocating void? 
The thought sat like lead in my stomach, bitter and cold, as I realized that sometimes knowing every scar on someone's skin doesn't mean you know what's beneath it anymore.
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(note: s&c and r&r reader)
Days blurred together in a haze of surgeries and lectures. 
I went through the motions, my hands steady as ever in the operating room, my voice clear during presentations. To anyone watching, I was the picture of professional composure. But inside? I don't know.
I thought I was doing a decent job of holding it together until one of my students approached me after a practically grueling morning lecture. The young man clutched a stack of papers, a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead.
"Dr. Geto, about my thesis proposal—"
I cut him off with a wave of my hand, not even looking up from gathering my materials. "Email me to request thesis mentorship. I'll review your proposal and get back to you."
"Oh... you're, ehm, already my thesis advisor. We had an appointment scheduled for today."
I froze, finally looking at the student—really looking at him. Recognition dawned slowly, followed by a wave of shame. Takada Jun, one of my most promising students. We'd met twice a month since the semester began. Damn it.
"You're right," I said. "Sorry, can we reschedule?"
I was better than this. More professional than this. But lately, everything felt like it was slipping through my fingers.
The research lab was closed for the week—a "cooling off period," Yaga had called it. I knew what it really meant. We were all too volatile, too raw from recent events to work together effectively. So I went home early, something I never did.
My apartment felt emptier than usual, the silence pressing in from all sides. I tried reading, but the words swam before my eyes. I attempted to eat, but everything tasted like ash. Even my usual evening cigarette was bitter and harsh in my lungs.
My thoughts kept drifting to Satoru, wondering what he was doing, not if he was using, only what cocktail of pills he'd chosen this time. The math was easy enough—one to stay awake, two to fall asleep, three to numb the edges, repeat as needed. I'd seen it too many times before.
I crushed out my cigarette, watching the ember die. I reached for another only to find an empty pack. Figured. I should go buy more, knew I'd need them if I let myself think about her, about them. But I didn't want to leave the apartment, couldn't put on real clothes.
My only glimpse of light was the art exhibition on Saturday. The thought of it made something in my chest loosen, just slightly. I pulled out my phone, staring at our last exchange of messages before typing out a new one.
[6:45 PM] Me: Should I pick you up for the exhibition?
Her response came quickly.
[6:47 PM] Attorney: Let's meet there. I might be running late from a study group.
[6:47 PM] Me: Sounds good.
I hesitated, then added.
[6:48 PM] Me: Looking forward to it.
[6:49 PM] Attorney: Me too :)
A small smile tugged at my lips. For a brief, ridiculous moment, I wondered if I should bring flowers. The thought made me pause, my hand reaching automatically for my cigarettes before remembering the empty pack. What the hell was I doing?
This was wrong on so many levels.  She was my patient. Well, technically Satoru's patient. And young—god, she was so young. And I was... what? A mess of a man carrying a torch for someone I could never have, trying to fill that void with someone else? I was not sure.
My mind kept drifting back to that night at the bar. The way she felt pressed against me in that dimly lit bathroom, her skin warm under my touch. The soft sounds she made when I slipped my fingers inside her—God, I shouldn't be thinking about this.
This was getting pathetic. Still. Saturday couldn't come fast enough.
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(note: r&r reader)
I was late. Damn it, I was so late.
The emergency surgery had gone longer than expected—a complex arteriovenous malformation that refused to behave. By the time I closed, my hands were cramping and my neck was stiff from hours of hunching over the microscope. But the patient would live, and that's what mattered.
Still, as I rushed through the hospital parking lot, yanking off my scrub cap and shoving it in my pocket, I couldn't help but check my watch again. Two hours late. Shit. I'd texted her updates throughout, but still. Two hours.
The art exhibition was being held in some converted warehouse space downtown. Even from outside, I could see the warm light spilling onto the street through the large windows, hear the soft sound of voices and clinking glasses. I paused at the entrance, trying to catch my breath and compose myself.
That's when I spotted it—a small splash of red on my shirt sleeve, barely visible but unmistakably blood. Perfect. Because showing up late wasn't bad enough, I had to show up looking like I'd just walked off a crime scene.
I quickly shrugged my jacket back on, tugging the sleeves down to cover the stain. It would have to do.
She was standing alone near a large abstract painting, wine glass in hand, studying the canvas. Even in a room full of people, she seemed somehow apart from it all. The sight of her there all by herself felt like fingers wrapping around my heart.
"I am so, so sorry," I said as I approached, placing my hand on her lower back.
She turned, and the smile that lit up her face made my stomach flip. How could she look at me like that when I'd kept her waiting for two hours?
"Hey, you made it!" She didn't sound angry at all. If anything, she seemed genuinely happy to see me. It only made the guilt weigh heavier in my chest.
"I'm really sorry," I repeated, because apparently that's all I could say. "The surgery took longer than expected. There were complications and—"
"Did you save them?"
I blinked, caught off guard by the directness of her question. "Yes."
"Then stop apologizing." She took a sip of her wine, her eyes twinkling. "Besides, fashionably late is totally in right now."
"Two hours isn't fashionably late, it's just rude."
"It's your job," she said simply. "Saving lives tends to take priority over art exhibitions."
I watched her for a second longer, unsure how to react. "Have you been here alone this whole time?"
"Yeah, but it's fine," she said, waving off my concern. "I've actually had time to explore everything properly. Plus, the wine is decent."
Guilt twisted in my stomach. I pictured her wandering these halls alone, checking her phone for my updates, making awkward small talk with strangers. For two hours.
"I really am—"
"If you apologize one more time, I swear I’ll spill this wine on your jacket. And you know me—I don’t need much of an excuse to be clumsy." Before I could respond, her eyes narrowed, focusing on something near my collar. "Is that?"
I followed her gaze to where my jacket had shifted, revealing the telltale red stain. Damn it. I quickly tried to adjust my jacket, but she caught my arm, stopping me.
"Sorry," I muttered. "I'm a mess. I should have gone home to change first, but I didn't want to be any later than I already was."
"Hey," she said, leaning in conspiratorially, "if anyone asks, we'll just tell them it's paint. I mean, we are at an art exhibition. Who's going to look too closely?"
Despite myself, I laughed. "You'd make a terrible witness in court, you know that?"
"Good thing I'm going to be a lawyer then, not a witness." She grinned. "Come on, I want to show you my favorite pieces. And maybe we can find you a painting with enough red in it to stand near. You know, for cover."
I let her lead me through the gallery, and I found myself placing my hand on the small of her back. It was an unconscious gesture, one I immediately second-guessed, but she leaned into the touch slightly. So I let my hand stay where it was.
"You're not still feeling guilty about being late, are you?" she asked suddenly, glancing up at me.
"Maybe a little."
She rolled her eyes. "Well, stop it. Although—" She pretended to think for a moment. "You could make it up to me by buying me another glass of wine."
"Done," I said immediately. "Although maybe I shouldn't be encouraging drinking."
"Oh, now you're being a doctor again?"
"Force of habit."
She laughed, the sound warm and genuine, wrapping around me like summer rain. Dangerous, how easily I could get used to that sound. She led me further through the gallery, linking her arm through mine, chattering away about everything and nothing. 
It was fascinating how much she knew—not just about the art itself, but about the whole scene. She'd point to a painting and launch into stories about the artist's infamous feuds with gallery owners, or how someone's entire series was inspired by a bad breakup with another artist three rooms over. 
She knew every bit of gossip, every drama. Which curator was sleeping with which artist, which pieces were painted during mental breakdowns, which collections were secretly commentary on messy divorces. She made the plain white walls of the gallery come alive with her stories.
"Oh, and that guy over there?" She nodded discretely towards a man in an expensive-looking suit. "He's actually—"
I caught myself staring at her again, watching the way her eyes lit up as she spoke, the subtle changes in her expression as she moved from one story to the next. The way she'd lower her voice when sharing particularly bits of details, leaning closer to me like we were sharing secrets.
It was strange. I never knew that art was so... fun. Her excitement was contagious, and I found myself being pulled into her world without resistance.
"You're not even looking at the painting anymore," she accused, catching me staring at her instead of the canvas she was discussing.
"Sorry," I said, trying to focus on the painting she'd been discussing. "You were saying something about the use of negative space?"
She launched back into her explanation, describing techniques and influences I barely understood. But there was something captivating about her, the way she could find something fascinating in every piece, even the ones she claimed to hate.
I couldn't help myself. I had to ask.
"Why law?"
She blinked, caught off guard by the sudden change in topic. "What?"
"You're clearly passionate about art. You know all these techniques, all this history. Why aren't you studying art instead of law?"
Her smile faltered slightly. "We've had this conversation before, remember? Stability, good career, making my parents proud—"
"But that's what your parents want. What do you want?"
She was quiet for a moment, her fingers playing with the stem of her wine glass. When she finally spoke, her voice was soft, almost resigned. "It's not that simple."
"It could be."
She looked up at me then, something flashing in her eyes that might have been anger. "Says the successful neurosurgeon who followed his passion."
"That's different—"
"Is it?" She took a sip of wine and pulled her arm away from mine, the loss of contact unexpectedly cruel. "You chose medicine because you loved it, right? Because you couldn't imagine doing anything else?"
I thought about Satoru, about following his lead into neurosurgery, about all the complicated reasons behind my choices. "It's... not that simple either."
"Exactly." She gave me a knowing look. "Life rarely is."
We stood there in silence for a moment, both lost in thought. Around us, the gallery filled with the white noise of clinking glasses and polite laughter.
"I'm sorry," I began. "I shouldn't have said that."
She shook her head, loose strands of hair catching the light. "No, it's... you're not wrong to ask. It's just complicated." She paused, staring into her wine glass. My parents worked so hard to put me through school. Dad worked double shifts at the factory, Mom cleaned houses on weekends. They saved every penny they could."
"They were so proud when I got into law school," she continued, her voice softer now. "You should have seen their faces. Dad actually cried—I'd never seen him cry before. They threw this little party in our apartment, invited all the neighbors. Mom made this huge spread of food even though I know they couldn't really afford it."
She smiled at the memory, but there was something bittersweet in it. "They see law school as this—this ticket to a better life, you know? This chance for their daughter to have everything they couldn't give themselves. How could I tell them I'd rather spend my days covered in paint?"
"They sound like good parents."
"The best," she agreed. "That's why it's so hard. Every time I think about changing paths, I remember how much they've sacrificed. The hours they worked, the things they went without. Dad's still picking up extra shifts to help with my expenses, even though I tell him not to."
She turned to look at a nearby painting, but I could tell she wasn't really seeing it. "Sometimes I calculate how much they've invested in my education, down to the last yen. It feels like a responsibility, you know." A pause. "So I'm—acting. Playing dress-up in these fancy suits, pretending to care about corporate law and international trade agreements. But it's okay."
Her story settled like lead in my stomach. Here I was, someone who'd never had to watch his parents sacrifice anything, presuming to give advice about following dreams. And suddenly, I felt almost ashamed of my own privilege. 
I grew up never wanting for anything. My parents had well-paying jobs and valued education above all else. Private tutors, college prep courses, academic summer programs—they spared no expense in paving my path to success.
When I decided to go into medicine, my biggest concern had been whether I was doing it for myself or just following Satoru's lead. Not whether I could afford it. Not whether it would drain my family's savings.
I'd never had to work during university. Never had to count pennies for textbooks. Never had to weigh the cost of pursuing my dreams against my family's needs. The academic world had been my playground, every door already half-open. I feel so dump.
Sure, medical school had been demanding. The long hours of study, the grueling residency, the constant pressure to excel—but I'd never had to wonder if I could afford to chase my passion. Never had to choose between my dreams and my family's financial stability.
I lived in a nice apartment, drove a decent car, could afford my vices without a second thought. And here she was, brilliant and passionate, having to bury her dreams because she couldn't bear to waste her parents' years of hard work.
Looking at her now, in this gallery surrounded by art she understood so deeply, I could see the weight of those unrealized dreams in the way she held herself. In how her eyes lingered on each painting a bit too long, like she was trying to capture a piece of what could have been.
"I hope you get to paint someday," I said finally, the words feeling inadequate. "The way you want to. Not just alone in your apartment, but really paint. Show your work. Be the artist you clearly are inside."
She looked up at me, surprise flickering across her face. Then her gaze dropped to her wine glass, her fingers tightening around the stem. A strand of hair fell forward, and she pushed it back with unsure fingers.
"I mean it," I continued, resisting the urge to brush that stubborn strand of hair back myself. "Besides, who says you can't have both? Practice law until you're stable enough to pursue art. Or find a way to combine them—art law is a thing, isn't it?"
"You're awfully supportive, for someone who barely knows me," she said quietly, the words half-muffled by her wine glass.
"Is that such a bad thing?"
She shook her head, blinking rapidly. "No, I just... I'm not used to people understanding. Everyone else just talks about being practical, about growing up and facing reality. Like art is somehow childish."
The last words came out bitter, and without thinking, I reached out to touch her chin, tilting her face up to meet my gaze. Her skin was warm under my fingers, and I could feel her pulse flutter at the contact.
"Art isn't childish," I said firmly. "Neither is wanting to pursue something that you're passionate about. That's actually pretty brave."
Something shifted in her expression then, a softness I hadn't seen before. We stood there for a moment, her eyes locked with mine. That's when I finally realized I was still cupping her chin, my thumb absently brushing against her skin. I quickly dropped my hand.
"I really want to see them." The words slipped out before I could stop them. "Your paintings, I mean." 
It felt too intimate, too presumptuous. Like I was asking to see more than just her art, but something deeper, more personal. But she just smiled, a real smile this time, reaching up to tuck that persistent strand of hair behind her ear.
"Okay," she said. "If you promise not to judge too harshly."
"I already know they're great," I said softly, surprising myself with how much I meant it. "I don't know much about art, but I know they're great because you painted them." Then my phone buzzed in my pocket. My heart nearly stopped when I saw the caller ID.
I took an instinctive step back from her. "I'm sorry, I need to take this," I said, already bringing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"
There was silence on the other end, just soft breathing that I knew too well. Then, "Suguru?"
Something in her voice made my chest tighten. She sounded—lost. Different from her usual self. Gone was that fierce confidence, that spark that made her so much like Satoru. Instead, she sounded small, fragile.
"Hey," I said softly. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I just—" A pause. "I don't even know why I'm calling."
Someone laughed loudly behind me. She must have heard it through the phone because she hesitated. "Sorry, are you out somewheret? I don't want to—"
"No, no," I said quickly, probably too quickly. "It's fine. Really. Talk to me. What's going on?"
I was painfully aware of the her standing nearby, pretending to study a painting while obviously trying not to listen. I caught her eye briefly, gesturing that I needed a moment. She nodded, with an understanding in her eyes that somehow made it worse.
I quickly made my way to the entrance where the coats hung, seeking somewhere quieter. She was quiet for so long I thought she might have hung up. Then, in a small voice that didn't sound like her at all, "Is he okay?"
I didn't need to ask who she meant.
"He's okay," I said, even though I wasn't really convincing either of us. "You know Satoru. He's managing."
A soft laugh, maybe a sob. "That could mean anything with him."
"No, really. He's okay," I lied. "I'm keeping an eye on him."
A pause then, "I'm being stupid, aren't I?"
"No," I said. "You're not being stupid. You're in love." The words hurt to say, but they were true. "That's never stupid."
Another shaky breath. "I shouldn't have called. You're out, and I'm here just—"
"Hey, do you need me?" I cut in. "I can bring you something. Coffee? Food? Those terrible convenience store onigiri you pretend not to like?"
That got a real laugh, albeit a watery one. "No, I'm... I'm actually at Maki's. She dragged me out. Said I needed to stop rotting in my apartment."
"Good. That's... that's good." I ran a hand through my hair, not quite believing her. I knew her too well by now, knew she was probably curled up alone in her apartment, just as I knew she knew I was lying about Satoru being okay. Strange, how we'd both gotten so comfortable with these little deceptions. "But the offer stands. Anytime."
"Thank you, Suguru." Her voice was softer now.
"Yeah," was all I could manage. I closed my eyes, pressing the phone harder against my ear as if I could somehow keep her there longer.  Each second of silence felt like another chance to say something, anything, to make this right. But what could I say? That I was sorry? That I missed her? That I thought about her every damn day?
"I should let you get back," she said. "To wherever you are. Sorry for—"
"Don't apologize. Not to me. Never to me."
I took a deep breath, briefly pulling the phone away from my ear because I couldn't trust my voice not to say what I desperately wanted to. Don't go. Stay on the line. Let me fix this. But I had no right to ask that of her. Not anymore. Maybe never did.
After we hung up, I stood there in the gallery's entrance, frozen. Around me, couples laughed and gathered their coats, heading out into the night. The door kept opening and closing, letting in bursts of cold air inside, reminding me I needed to move, needed to go back.
When I finally made my way back to her, she was studying the same stormy seascape from earlier. She didn't turn around immediately, giving me a moment to compose myself. Maybe it was some sort of kindness on her part.
She didn't ask about the call. Didn't question my sudden disappearance or the tension I knew was in every fiber of my being. Instead, she just glanced at me with a small smile that somehow made everything both better and worse, and said, "I think we've seen everything. Should we head out?"
The relief nearly knocked me sideways. "You sure? There's still the upper floor—"
"Please," she said. "I've been here for hours. I could probably give tours at this point."
I watched her gather her things, struck by how carefully she was moving around the weight of what had just happened. Like she understood something about me that I hadn't expected her to grasp. 
"You're awfully understanding, you know that?"
She looked up at me. "Something we have in common, it seems."
We walked to the exit in silence. I helped her into her coat, her fingers brushing mine as she adjusted her collar. Outside, the night air was sharp with the bite of early autumn. She pulled her coat tighter around herself.
"I can call you a taxi," I offered.
"Actually," she said, "I think I'll walk." She looked up at the sky, where a few stubborn stars managed to shine through Tokyo's light pollution. "It's not far, and it's a nice night."
"Not a chance," I said, already pulling out my phone. "It's late."
"I'm a big girl, you know. I can handle myself."
"I'm sure you can," I replied, already dialing the taxi company. "But humor your doctor, will you?"
She rolled her eyes but didn't protest further. While we waited for the taxi, she stood close enough that I could smell her perfume, something light and floral, while I tried to ignore the guilt for leaving the exhibition early, guilt for being late, guilt for enjoying myself despite everything else.
"Thank you," I said suddenly. "For tonight."
"No problem, doc," she said with a warm smile. "Next time, maybe we can finish looking at the art."
"Next time," I echoed, like a promise I wasn't sure I should be making. The taxi pulled up, its yellow light cutting through the darkness. I opened the door for her. 
She turned before getting in, looking back over her shoulder. "Oh, and Suguru?" The use of my first name sent an unexpected shiver down my spine. "Don't overthink everything tonight, okay?"
I watched the taxi disappear into the flow of traffic, its red taillights blending with all the other lights of the city. Only then did I pull out my cigarettes, lighting one with slightly shaking hands. The night felt colder without her presence.
I took a long drag, watching the smoke disappear into the night air, then started walking in the opposite direction, no real destination in mind, just a vague hope that if I walked long enough, the conflicting feelings churning inside me might fade away. 
The city lights blurred around me, and somewhere in the distance, I could hear the last trains of the night rumbling through their stations.
Next time, she'd said. 
God help me, but I was already looking forward to it.
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<- prev chapter | next chapter ->
author's note — hello again! i hope you enjoyed this chapter from suguru's pov. i'm sorry for the lack of updates lately, university life and low motivation can be a real challenge. but i'd love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave a comment or send in a message. i love to read them <3
& i hope his pov didn’t break your heart too much, especially with his and satoru’s spiraling friendship. also, this chapter ties back to ch 14 of symptoms and causes, for those who are following along.
pls consider subscribing to the story on ao3 or turning on notifications for my blog for furute updates (i've given up on taglists, to be honest).
and as always, thanks for reading, and i wish you all the best, whether you're reading this in the middle of the day or late at night :))
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© lostfracturess. do not repost, translate, or modify my work.
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nenoname · 1 month ago
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Journal 3’s references to Stan
(…does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford’s TBoB letters sure as hell don’t count as J3 but I’m including them here anyway)
Lost Journal Pages
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"STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH"
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“My stomach sank a bit when I realized… it was my birthday. This day has felt… odd, since S and I… parted ways.”
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"I was adjusting my TV antennae for weather reports (looking for ideal conditions for F's first portal test) and spat out my coffee when I saw THIS! My brother hawking scams under the name "Panley Stines." I had half a mind to call that number, just to pretend to be the police and maybe scare S straight for once! There is something so galling about seeing your OWN FACE committing crimes on your own TV! When my Muse saw me break my stress ball, I decided it was finally time to vent about Stanley."
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""How about that; you've got an inferior clone! Why didn't you just eat him in the womb? Think of how powerful you'd be!"
"You can't just eat your twin, Bill."
You'd be surprised what you can eat! I say sure, call him if you want him to start mooching off you again! ME, I went no contact with my home dimension and I don't regret it. All they did was hold me back and sabotage my talents! Can you imagine?"
"More than you know. But you do ever wonder if maybe... maybe things could have been different?""
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"Our heat budget was so tight that Mom forced S and me to wear one sweater at the same time. (She called it the "Abominable Snow-Stan." Our cat lived in fear of it year-round.)"
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“DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I’ve quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes.”
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"But then he crossed a line. Helplessly I watched Cipher in my own body limp up to a pay phone and dial... STANLEY'S phone number from the infomercial?! No. He wouldn't.
"Hey brother, it's Sixer. I'm going to take a swim in the frozen lake tomorrow, and I might not ever come back, so if you don't hear from me, I just want you to know that it's because I never loved you. BUH-BYEEEEE."
My heart was in my throat until I heard the dial tone... The pay phone was out of order. The message hadn't gotten through. Cipher turned back to address me.
"TSK, TSK, TSK. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME MAKE YOU DO! TOMORROW'S TAPE IS GONNA BE MUCH WORSE.""
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(Bro secret code) "miss you"
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“The snow has begun to fall again and there’s very little time. There’s only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey…”
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"S is an overgrown child with none of my rigorous mental training. Who knows what could happen if Cipher stepped inside Stanley's mind for even one minute...
What if Stanley somehow manages to destroy the portal just like he destroyed my perpetual motion machine? I suppose that machine did work in its own way... It kept me perpetually angry for thirty years."
(Bro secret code) "HAVE I BEEN TOO HARSH ALL ALONG?"
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"What if he tries to rope me into his latest get-rich-quick scheme? His latest commercial was for "Stan Sauce: The Miracle Sauce that's too cool for the FDA!"
What if... he mocks me? What if he sees that I abandoned our family to become a recluse on the brink of madness? Could I risk admitting that I was... wrong?
PROS: I have no one else. Well, that settles it. It's time to come face-to-face with a face I haven't seen in 10 years. My own face. Which... is my brother's face. God, I miss sleep."
Ford’s Letters
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"In the weeks since Weirdmageddon, I conducted numerous tests on Stanley's mind (his terrible jokes are still intact) and inspected the state for dimensional leakage (we also took turns kicking the statue, and Stanley took a few cracks with a crowbar). I burned every Cipher-shaped item I had ever collected, and even threw away all my one-dollar bills, just to be safe (Stanley, of course, found and pocketed them).
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“I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!”
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“They didn’t see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!”“
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"Bill may tell you that happiness requires conquering galaxies and living forever, but I've seen enough of the universe to tell you that he's wrong. I've found my happiness. And it looks like this:"
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"If you're reading this... then I am dead. Kidding! Sorry, Stanley thought that would be funny. Ha-ha! We're currently out shopping for harpoons to prepare for our trip to the arctic."
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"Stan, if you end breaking into my lab at some point later today- Bravo! Still as good a locksmith as in 8th grade. Beers are under the desk."
(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford’s opinions on Stan instead, where he’s openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more… melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different
Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S” or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher). I think he only ever messes up the general naming scheme a single time when he wrote Fiddleford instead of F
…not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)
Other sections: Pre-Portal, Post-Portal, Post-Weirdmageddon
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drabblesandsnippets · 1 month ago
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The Prize
Hot Bucky Summer 2024 - Week 11
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Plus-size female character (unnamed)
Prompt: “You look good like this.”| [Kneeling | Tied Down | Ruined] @buckybarnesevents
Summary: (9.7k) Bucky and his girlfriend try out their new sex swing, purchased after The Bet. This is a standalone fic and is mostly just pure smut, y’all.
A/N: This is my first fic after my hiatus, and it kind of got away from me 😂 Huge shoutout and thanks to @thinking1bee - without her support and encouraging comments, I'm not sure I would have finished this! Any and all mistakes are my own.
Warnings: 18+ Only. Fluff. Established relationship. Pet names (doll, sweetheart, baby). Brief mention of insecurities. Enthusiastic consent. Praise. Dirty talk. Slight verbal degradation. Masturbation (m). Multiple orgasms (both). Oral (both receiving). Rimming (f). Sex toys (including anal). Cum as lube. Fingering (almost fisting?). Squirting. (Unprotected) PiV. Aftercare.
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“Tell me again,” Bucky says, cradling his girlfriend’s face, searching for any hint of hesitation or reluctance. They’re standing in their bedroom, stripped down to their underwear, the soft glow of the lamp providing more than enough light for them to see each other, her bright eyes staring up at him.
The thought of being so vulnerable and exposed definitely gave her pause at first, but Bucky’s been building anticipation, counting down the days since she ‘lost’ the bet, whispering all the dirty things he’s going to do to her. 
By the time the sex swing arrived a couple of days ago, her excitement matched his, especially after a quick test of it yesterday, with her clothes on - all of which he promptly ripped off as soon as he helped her down, taking her hard and fast at the edge of the bed.
“I want this,” she tells him with an excited nod of her head, her slightly trembling hands resting against his chest, drawing comfort from the strong beat of his heart. Despite her lingering nerves from years of insecurities, her voice is steady, repeating the same promises she’s been making - she’s not doing this just because he wants her to, and she knows, without a doubt, she can stop at any moment and he won’t be disappointed.
That’s the most important part of all of this to Bucky - her enthusiastic consent. Without it, he wouldn’t have the courage to even attempt this. She’s going to be completely at his mercy, and even though he’s always been able to easily overpower her, this is different. This isn’t holding her down with his weight or grabbing her hair to keep her in place.
She’s going to be in a position that she won’t be able to get out of, one he could easily leave her in or take advantage of if he so chose. He’ll never understand how she’s able to put this much trust in him, but he’ll never take it for granted. All Bucky wants to do is take care of her, bring her all the pleasure she can handle, watch her become a beautiful mess for him.
With the patience and tenderness only she evokes, he removes the last of her clothing, kissing every bit of newly exposed skin, bypassing her most intimate parts. By the time he’s guiding her to the swing, she’s relaxed in his embrace, eager to follow his lead.
Bucky’s never failed to make her feel like the hottest woman in existence, and this is no exception. Allowing him to help her into the swing, she lays back, her upper body fully supported as he tenderly secures her limbs. For now, her arms rest by her head, her hands through the loops as he positions her knees back, the leather straps around her ankles keeping her spread for him.
One look at her and he’s letting out a soft curse, his hungry eyes roaming every inch of her on display, not giving her insecurities a chance to resurface. “You look so good like this, doll.” Better than anything he imagined. And before they go any further, he needs her to remember it for the rest of the night.
Quickly shredding his underwear, Bucky’s cock springs free, hard and glistening with precum from just the sight of her naked and waiting for him. Never taking his eyes off of her, he swipes a generous amount of spit from his mouth and wraps his hand around his shaft, giving himself a few slow, firm strokes to get himself slick.
Mesmerized, her skin grows warm as she watches Bucky pleasure himself, the initial thought that he was already going to fuck her soon replaced by the realization of what’s happening. Proving, once again, how much he wants her, how much she turns him on just by simply existing.
Already breathing heavily, arousal coursing through her veins, she grips the padded chains by her hands and whispers his name, the need for him to touch her evident in her voice. With a slow shake of his head, Bucky gives her that smile that’s been making her weak in the knees since the day she met him.
“Just wanna look at you first,” he tells her, the movement of his hand never ceasing, “I think you forget how much I enjoy just watching you.” 
Stepping closer, finding his rightful place between her thighs, Bucky starts stroking his cock faster, barely inches from her inviting pussy, resisting the urge to bury himself inside of her. Between shuddering gasps, he keeps talking, praising her, highlighting all the things he loves about her body, his gaze settling on each spot as she squirms helplessly.
She has half a mind to try to pull her hands free to reach out for him, desperate for more, Bucky’s actions driving her wild. She’s just as eager to see where this is going though, unable to look away as the telltale signs of his impending orgasm start to play out across his features. The tension building in his shoulders, the furrowing of his brow, the delicious noises leaving his parted lips. 
“So damn hot, baby,” he growls, drawing another unabashed whimper from her, her own breathy moans increasing right along with his. “I’m not even thinking about all the things I’m gonna do to you and you already have me so fucking close.”
“Oh god,” she breathes, her walls clenching around nothing, her thighs trembling with need. She’s so wet for him, each pass of his hand along his thick cock fueling the lust trying to consume her. 
Bucky’s pleasure has always turned her on, but this is a whole new level, the sight of him working himself towards an orgasm all because of her naked body has her on the edge of begging for his touch. He doesn’t give her a chance though, his rough voice suddenly demanding more.
“Who do you belong to?”
“You,” she exhales sharply, barely letting him finish the question, lifting up from the headrest to get a better look, letting her gaze travel from his flushed face down to his hand moving faster, his strokes focusing on his engorged head, the tip leaking a steady flow of precum.
“Tell me. Tell me you’re mine,” he orders, desperate to hear the words from the woman he loves more than he ever thought he was capable of. She’s more than he could ever deserve, and watching her be so vulnerable for him has him aching to be reminded how much she loves him.
“I’m yours,” she promises, nodding her head, tearing her eyes away from his cock to meet his gaze once again, his intense stare sending a strong surge of pleasure straight to her clit. 
A moment that started off just about her has gratefully shifted to a mutual need of assurance and the words spill out of her without any more prompting, “I love you, I love you so much.”
That’s all Bucky needs before he’s letting go with a gasp of her name, followed by a string of curses as hot spurts of his release paint her inner thigh, his vibranium hand gripping the sturdy chain connected to her ankle. It has her panting, the physical sensations caused by the pleasure overwhelming him leaving her dizzy with need, her hands tugging harder at the straps in hopes of grounding herself.
The instant his lungs fill with much needed oxygen, he utters words of love and admiration for her, using every bit of restraint to keep from touching her for now. He plans to give her everything she can handle tonight, but there’s no rush as he comes down, wanting to take his time to explore every delectable inch of her.
With everything they could possibly need laid out at the foot of the bed, Bucky reaches for the damp washcloth and brings it to her skin, cleaning her up with slow, smooth movements, making a mental note to do this again when he can take a picture of her covered with his seed, the promising image causing his cock to twitch. 
Once she’s free of his mark, he tosses the washcloth and finally takes pity on her, his hands following the earlier path his eyes had taken, caressing parts of her that he’ll never get enough of. Her kissable lips. Her neck, the perfect size to wrap his hand around. Her strong arms. Her beautiful tits and pebbled nipples. Her soft belly, the way it moves under his touch. Her thick, sensitive thighs that were made to squeeze him.
By the time he’s dragging the back of his fingers closer to her pussy, she’s trembling, writhing and whimpering, her breaths quick and uneven. Her responses are addicting, driving him to continue teasing her, his fingertips ghosting over her mound before moving back up, bypassing all her ticklish spots until he’s back to her breasts, cupping them in his large hands.
“Yes, please,” she moans, the slight arch of her back giving him better leverage to pinch her nipples, his fingers playfully tugging them, making her body sway in the swing. 
“Oh, look at that,” he murmurs, his voice barely reaching her ears as he repeats the action, the movement of her body bringing her closer to his, letting her feel his growing erection. “We’re gonna have so much fun tonight, sweetheart.”
She’s quick to nod in agreement, not giving him any reason to slow down or stop, waiting with baited breath as goosebumps cover her skin. He’s barely touched her and she’s on edge, her body wound tight, longing for him to do everything he’s been promising for weeks now. 
As if reading her mind - or just knowing her as well as he does - one last pull of her nipples and he’s leaning over, crashing his lips on hers, his tongue quickly seeking entrance to deepen the kiss. It sets her off, her hands gripping her binds harder, trying to grind herself against him as she welcomes his mouth on hers.
Bucky doesn’t stop her, moving his hands to the chains to steady himself, allowing her to bring herself pleasure with his body, his hard cock trapped against her ass. Trailing kisses down her neck, biting all the sensitive spots along the way, he makes his way to her heaving chest, capturing her nipple in his mouth, scraping the erect bud with his teeth.
Her needy whines only encourage him to continue with his pace, giving both nipples equal attention, his own hips thrusting gently in time with hers. The need to worship every inch of her has Bucky leaving her breasts as soon as she’s shuddering underneath him, pleading for more, and he works his mouth lower, over her stomach, peppering kisses along her soft rolls and pretty stretch marks.
She’s barely able to focus, her breathing out of control, Bucky reducing her to a whimpering mess, overwhelmed by the loss of his body heat against her pussy. He doesn’t make her wait long, taking the time to angle her into a lower position, giving her a wicked smile the entire time, hinting at what’s to come.
And then she’s shaking with anticipation, watching him kneel between her thighs, his head at the optimal height to return his lips to her body, kissing her inner thighs, nibbling a path towards her pussy. 
Expecting Bucky to keep teasing her, the sudden swipe of his tongue along her slick slit has her gasping out his name, wantonly begging him not to stop. She can already feel the pressure building, all of his earlier attention pushing her close to the edge, and now the slow lapping of his tongue tasting every inch of her is enough to have her thighs tensing all over again.
His senses are flooded by her, inhaling the heady scent of her arousal, burying his face between her thighs to fuck her with his tongue, devouring every last bit of her he can while his hands grip her thighs to grind her against his mouth. She’s his favorite meal, enjoying every second he gets to spend right here, his nose pressed against her clit as she chases her pleasure.
Her first orgasm hits her like a force, leaving her breathless, each surge causing her hips to buck against him, the firm hold of her thighs coupled with the binds around her limbs intensifying everything. Bucky gives her no time to relax, spreading her open with his fingers to close his mouth over her clit, moaning at the pulse of the aftershocks still overtaking her.
It’s almost too much, but he’s an expert at her body, knowing exactly how to build her up without pushing her too fast, the pad of his finger teasing her entrance. She’s quick to tell him yes, his muffled growl of approval vibrating against her, letting her welcoming pussy envelope his finger, filling her in one smooth motion.
If Bucky wasn’t so intent on making her come again, he’d praise her, tell her how good she feels, how hard he is from the taste of her. There will be plenty of time for that later, for now he increases the pressure, swirling his tongue over her swollen clit as he crooks his finger inside of her, eager to get her there as quickly as possible.
It doesn’t take long, a few strokes of his thick finger and she’s gone, crying out his name, her hands pulling hard at the straps. He helps her ride out the waves, prolonging her pleasure until it starts to shift into pain, then carefully brings her back down to reality, murmuring soft words of praise he’s not even sure she’s processing yet.
She’s not, but she’s grateful for them, letting out a light groan when Bucky readjusts her again, giving her a chance to stretch her legs, her ankles remaining bound. All the insecurities she thought would still be plaguing her are long gone, allowing Bucky to do with her as he pleases, trusting him to take care of her.
He’s never disappointed her, not when it comes to this, and she gives him a lazy smile as he places a bottle of water in front of her, guiding the straw to her mouth to let her drink as much as she needs. Once he’s satisfied she’s ready to keep going, he readjusts her until she’s laying flat, her arms pulled down to her sides. 
She already knows what’s coming, turning her head to look at him as he walks around her, his hard cock making her salivate. There’s nothing she wants more than to bring him as much pleasure as he’s brought her, eagerly opening her mouth, her tongue shamelessly sticking out to greet him.
Bucky’s so proud of her, and wastes no time in telling her, one hand on the back of her head to hold her still, “You’re doing so good, baby.” The moment their eyes meet, his hips jut forward, smearing a drop of precum along the flat of her tongue, an obvious ripple of pleasure rushing over her at the taste of him. 
It’s nearly enough to have him losing control, but he takes a steadying breath and instructs her, “Stay just like that for me, let me feel you.”
She doesn’t need to be told twice, relaxing her jaw as he finds a shallow rhythm, pushing into her mouth, dragging the head of his cock over her tongue. Fighting the urge to touch him, her binds not providing much leverage anyway, all she can do is lay here for him, letting Bucky use her body, his vibranium hand lifted to hold onto the chain.
The first time he fucked her mouth, she was in complete control, hovering over him, one hand wrapped around his cock so he couldn’t go too deep. He came so fast, and afterwards, she was so turned on, he made her ride his face until she collapsed from exhaustion. Since then, she’s gone out of her way to prove how much she loves sucking his cock, each time encouraging him to take over, set the pace, take his pleasure from her.
It turns her on as much as everything else about him, and even though she wants all the attention to be on him right now, she doesn’t mind when his hand returns to her body, his long fingers wrapping around her throat before sliding lower, scratching his blunt nails between her breasts. 
She’s so focused on the feel of his thick cock stretching her mouth, Bucky taking his time to work up to a faster pace, that she doesn’t even realize there’s a toy in his hand, the looped handle of the vibrator resting on his thumb. The only warning that comes is the faint click and soft buzzing, his hips pausing as the vibrations come into contact with her nipple.
Her loud moans only increase when he starts moving again, fucking her mouth deeper, forcing her to breathe out of her nose as her lips close around him. Careful not to take it too far, he splits his attention between her face and her body, slipping the vibrator down to tease between her thighs, the momentary tensing lasting for barely a second until she’s relaxing for him. 
“Good girl,” he breathes, taking hold of the back of her head with his metal hand to steady her in order to bring them both as much pleasure as he can, pressing the toy harder against her clit. “Taking my cock so well, like you were made for me, ya know that?”
His words have the desired effect and she whines around his cock, wanting him closer, desperate for him to go faster, each thrust of his hips making her entire body tingle. There’s nothing like this feeling, being completely at his mercy, helpless to do anything but take what he’s giving her, the vulnerability of it all sending her further towards the peak.
Taking the hint, Bucky speeds up, groaning at the tight heat of her throat surrounding him, the sound of her gagging triggering his primal side. The side she empowers him to explore in the safety of their relationship. 
“That’s it,” he grunts, his palm holding the toy against her, rubbing her clit in a familiar rhythm, his fingertips dipping between her folds to tease her entrance. “You love choking on my cock, don’t ya, sweetheart?” 
Her answer is another exquisite gag around his sensitive head and he pulls back long enough to let her take a deep breath, then he’s resuming the pace, telling her, “Gonna keep fucking this perfect mouth until you come for me again.”
It’s going to happen, the familiar tingle building, the strong vibrations pulsing through her sensitive clit making her see stars. She’s enjoying herself too much to just let go yet, welcoming several more thrusts of his cock, the few tears spilling down her cheeks mixing with her saliva as he fucks her throat.
Bucky knows what she’s doing, and as much as he loves when she communicates what she wants, he’s more than happy to help her remember she’s not in control tonight. With an impatient growl, he tightens his grip on her head, and pushes himself deeper, forcing her throat to tense around his cock. “Ya gotta come baby, or I'm not gonna stop.”
The tension spreads to the rest of her body, leaving no doubt that this is exactly what she wants, the roughness of his actions pushing her into another earth-shattering orgasm. He pulls out at the last second, almost coming himself, a string of saliva connecting them for a brief moment as she cries out from the onslaught of pleasure overloading her senses. 
Bucky's quick to comfort her, crouching down to talk her through it, his hands stroking across her belly, the toy tossed aside. “I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. You did so good for me. I love you so much.”
She can’t speak; she’s barely able to string a coherent thought together, her body trembling and her heart racing, pleasure still coursing through her. Bucky's presence, as always, soothes her, allows her to come down at her own pace without thinking about what’s coming next. 
Her only priority is to bask in the experience he's providing her, his constant touch keeping her present, reminding her there's no rush. He finds pleasure in taking care of her, in whatever form that takes.
When the aftershocks fade, and she starts to come back to him, only then does he move, taking the time to clean her up, wiping away all evidence of her enthusiastic blowjob, Bucky murmuring more words of praise and appreciation. 
Another sip of much-needed water and she finds her barings, her words slowly returning to her so she can voice her own gratitude. He might have trouble believing it, but he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to her and she’ll take every opportunity to remind him. 
Bucky’s soft smile conveys more than he’s capable of vocalizing, and it’s more than enough for her, his silence never bothering her. Smiling adoringly up at him, she watches him walk around her suspended body, his fingers trailing over her skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, reigniting the flames of her arousal. 
Despite all the pleasure he’s already brought her, her body craves more, desperate to feel him, to have him quell the ache building inside of her, in the way only he can. An exhale of his name, followed by a soft, breathless whisper of ‘please’ and he’s touching more of her, his unhurried actions speaking before he does, causing her to shift and let out a needy whine.
“Shh,” Bucky soothes, kissing his way up her body until he’s leaning over her, his metal hand gripping one of the chains to steady himself, his lips seeking out hers. She barely lets him kiss her, her tongue teasing over his before she’s turning her head to repeat herself, her warm breath ghosting over his ear, reinforcing how much she needs him to fuck her.
He almost throws caution to the wind, sliding his hand down to grip her hip and pull her pliant body against his, her hot, slick sex inviting him to bury himself inside of her. It’s all he wants, to lose himself in her, to give her everything she could possibly ask for. It just isn’t an option right now.
Encouraging her to grind against him, he nuzzles her cheek, breathing heavily as he murmurs, “I know, baby, I know.” It pains him to make her wait, her yearning pleas nearly breaking him, his own body fighting for control, his cock throbbing against her ass, leaking precum. 
Somehow finding the resolve to resist her, Bucky maintains contact, guiding her movements against him, his ears trained on her uneven breathes as he tells her, “I’m gonna fuck you, sweetheart, I promise, but I need you to give me a minute, okay?”
Interrupting her before she can start to argue, he pulls back to meet her gaze, giving her an affectionate smile, trying to ease her worry. “You’re doing so good for me,” he assures her, twinges of a playful grin creeping up when she lets out an exasperated sigh, her brow furrowing with uncertainty. 
“You are, doll,” he says, dipping his head to kiss her neck, relishing the sounds he brings out of her with a simple touch. “In fact, you were so good you almost made me come down your throat.”
Her body reacts to his words, her hips lifting to seek more friction, shamelessly grinding herself against his pelvis, her hands tugging hard at her binds. “Oh god,” she breathes, “Bucky, please.” She's so turned on, her wetness seeping down between her ass cheeks, her tense thighs shaking with anticipation, unable to focus on anything except how empty she feels.
The next words out of his mouth do nothing to alleviate the burning desire threatening to make her lose her mind, Bucky growling, “Your mouth felt so good, baby, you were so fucking perfect.” Almost on the verge of tears, her hips buck, his next confession only adding to her desperation, “So, as much as I wanna be buried inside you, if I were to start fucking you right now, it’d be over a lot quicker than I’d like to admit.”
Giving her no chance to object, his metal hand cradles her head, pulling her into a passionate kiss, his tongue demanding entrance. She’s quick to comply, understanding flowing between them, Bucky’s fear of disappointing her evident, causing her to finally relent, trusting him to take care of her.
There might not be anything else that can truly scratch this particular itch, but that doesn’t mean they can’t have fun trying, Bucky wasting no time in making a short trip to the bed to grab a toy. On his way back, he brings the ottoman, grinning at her as he takes a seat right between her spread thighs, his shoulders level with her body, giving him access to every single inch of her.
A flush spreads across her skin, her body angled enough to let her watch Bucky settle in for the show, the curved vibrator already turned on and teasing along the back of her thigh. He’s giving her time to withdraw her consent, as if that’s even an option for her right now, her entire body on edge, waiting for him to take pity on her.
If it were any other time, this might be too much, her insecurities whispering in the back of her mind, attempting to ruin the moment. It wouldn’t be the first time, and Bucky would gladly help her through it, never shying away from telling her how hot she is, how he can never get enough of her.
It’s not necessary this time, no matter how vulnerable and on display she feels, Bucky’s metal hand stroking along her belly, causing her to sway towards him. Whatever he’s planning, she’ll accept without hesitation, wanting nothing more than to be completely at his mercy.
It doesn’t take long, Bucky ducking his head to follow the trail of the vibrations, nipping and licking a path to her dripping pussy, leaving her panting for more. And the moment she’s nodding her head, whispering, “yes, please, oh god,” in a rush of a heavy exhale, he’s sliding the tip of the toy through her wetness, rewarding her.
“Good girl,” he praises, his words muffled against a particularly sensitive spot of her thigh, her appreciative whine only growing when he presses against her soaked entrance, telling him everything he needs to know. And now that Bucky’s here, the toy meeting no resistance, he can’t resist surging forward, refusing to tease her anymore, filling her as his teeth sink into the flesh of her trembling thigh.
The exquisite pleasure has her crying out, her knuckles turning white from her strained grip on the padded chains, Bucky’s vibranium hand firmly pressed against her stomach to keep her in place as he starts to fuck her with hard, deep strokes. 
Her bound ankles give her no leverage, increasing the helpless feeling, and she falls headfirst into it, each thrust eliciting another noise of pleasure, every breathy utterance growing more incoherent. Her entire focus is narrowed down to him and the indescribable pleasure he’s bringing her, Bucky perfecting the speed and rhythm to have the pressure building almost too quickly.
No part of her feels compelled to fight it, her head thrown back, eyes shut tight, her heart pounding in her ears as she welcomes everything he gives her. Bucky proving once again he can read her body like an open book, each subtle gasp or slight tension guiding him to keep the toy hitting that spot deep inside of her that makes her lose her breath.
“That’s it,” he grunts, his feet finding purchase against the carpet as he grabs hold of her soft stomach, swinging her body in time with his thrusts, her wetness coating his hand, the beautiful sight causing his cock to pulse. “Fuck. Love watching you like this. Want you to come again for me, can you do that, baby?”
The question triggers another mind-numbing orgasm, her muscles growing taut and her mouth opens in a silent scream, Bucky’s eyes trained on the incredible image, watching her lose control. All because of him. The hands that were once used as a weapon are now used to bring nothing but pleasure to the most important person in his life.
It’s nearly enough to have him coming right along with her, the emotion threatening to lock up his voice, forcing him to power through, needing her to hear his familiar stream of praise and love. He’ll never leave her wanting, not during such a time of need, Bucky’s only priority to keep her in that headspace she craves so much.
Where nothing exists but the two of them and the euphoria coursing through her, her mind forgetting everything else. All the normal worries and anxieties are long gone. Replaced by a tingly buzz, a high that she’s only ever chased with him. 
Bucky’s far from done with her, his own need to feel her wrapped around him pushed to the side, instead focusing on grinding the toy deep inside of her, addicted to the way she reacts. Her body is still pulsing with aftershocks, her shuddering breaths signaling how far her limits are being pushed, her wrists tugging at her binds, and other than her soft, gasping whimpers, she makes no objections.
She’s not too far gone that she wouldn’t tell him to stop if she needed to, Bucky taking that as his signal to keep going, turning the vibrations up and angling the toy to rub hard along her front wall. It brings out the expected reaction, her eyes rolling back and her toes curling, her legs shaking uncontrollably.
“You’re so perfect, doll, ya know that?” Not waiting for an answer, he slides his left hand down between her thighs to apply pressure to her clit, a wave of pleasure washing over him to match the one causing her body to buck. “I swear you were made for me,” he continues, groaning when she starts to squirt for him. “I’ll never get enough of you. Not in a million fucking years.”
She loses track of everything except the overwhelming pressure building, Bucky’s vibranium palm pressed against her clit almost too much, the tension in her lower stomach on the verge of causing cramps. Bucky’s barely moving the toy, but each hard grind against her g-spot is making her squirt, another orgasm soon to come barreling down on her.
It feels too soon, her body practically still recovering from the last one, and it’s not long before she’s whispering his name, her head lolling on the headrest, her hair sticking to her sweaty forehead. No change in pace comes, Bucky softly shushing her, telling her, “It’s okay, baby, you’re doing so good for me. Wanna watch you come one more time, can you do that for me?”
Incapable of nodding her head, she whines his name, followed by the soft whisper of ‘yes’, the word barely audible. There’s no doubt Bucky hears her, his head dipping to kiss the back of her thigh, muttering more praise and affirmations in response, encouraging her to let go, to let him witness her fall apart one more time.
“As soon as you do, I‘m gonna fuck you sweetheart,” he promises, a grin spreading across his features when she resumes her grip on the chains, seeing the desperation clearly fueling her actions. His consistent movements never cease, using the toy to drive her higher, providing her with exactly what he knows will push her over the edge. “That’s right, baby. All ya gotta do is come for me, show me how much you want my cock buried inside this perfect pussy.” 
A few more controlled thrusts and she has no choice but to give in, her back arching as the intense orgasm takes control, sparks of electric pleasure radiating from her core. Bucky works her through it, quickly standing up, kicking the ottoman out of the way in order to reach higher up her body, holding onto her forearm while he slowly fucks through each wave with the toy, stopping only once he’s sure she’s had enough.
It takes her longer to recover this time, Bucky taking the time to work out any kinks in her muscles, letting her stretch her limbs within the confines of her binds. He’s going to keep his word, planning to fuck her until she’s completely satiated. But, first he has to ensure he hasn’t pushed her too hard, using the opportunity to wipe away the sweat glistening on her skin and give them both more water.
As grateful as she is for the pause, she’s more than eager to keep going, ready to hold him to his promise. There’s no need for more begging - a momentary interlude so Bucky can readjust her position and then he’s exactly where he belongs, his hard cock perfectly aligned with her swollen pussy. 
The determined look on his face speaks volumes, coaxing her further into submission, her limbs relaxed, her breathing slow and even. There’s no rushing him, Bucky’s hands caressing her everywhere, languid movements across her skin, fingertips ghosting over her nipples, palms stroking down her torso.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs, his gaze settling on hers, an ardent smile lighting up his face. “I’m so grateful to call you mine.”
Words fail her, warmth spreading across her skin, his praise stirring up a smile of her own, conveying how much she loves and appreciates him. Nothing will ever compare to the connection they share, the incredible, undeniable physical chemistry that flows between them. 
They’re compatible in all the ways that matter, understanding each other on a level neither ever thought they’d have the privilege of experiencing. It allows them both to be present, her submissive nature enticing Bucky to fully embrace the power of being in complete control of the woman he’s going to spend the rest of his life with.
Hooking her right leg over his vibranium arm, he takes hold of his thick shaft with his free hand and guides the tip of his cock to her slit, teasing her with slow movements, gathering her wetness as he listens to her breath hitch. She’s unable to stop the subconscious shifting of her hips, or the trembling of her thighs, but her arms remain slack, her trusting gaze causing his own heart to flutter.
His mind stays clear, intent on making this an unforgettable first time in their new swing, and as he slips just the head of his cock into her welcoming pussy, he lets out a heavy breath, asking her, “Are you gonna be a good girl for me?” A lazy nod of her head and he’s following up with, “Yeah? Gonna let me fuck this pussy however I want, baby?”
Managing to verbalize her consent, she whispers a soft, “please” and offers another nod, her eyes fluttering as his cock starts to fill her, Bucky fucking her with just the first inch. When she makes no other attempt to move, her supported body relaxed, he’s reached his limit, finally giving in to the intense need to have her wrapped around him.
Without warning, he hooks her other leg over his right arm and slams home, burying himself balls-deep in one swift movement, the tight, wet heat of her pussy nearly sending him spiraling out of control. Her reaction does little to help him maintain that control, her head thrown back, her strangled cry shooting pleasure straight up his spine, and for a brief moment, all he can do is grip the top of her thighs, grinding hard against her.
“Fuck,” he exhales, quickly shaking his head to gather his composure. “You feel so good, doll, wanna stay inside you forever.” He’ll definitely come if he does and slowly retreats, pulling his hips back until just the head of his cock rests within her, her walls pulsing in an attempt to lure him back.
Bucky sets an agonizingly slow pace, pausing long enough to allow her to relax, then thrusting forward, filling her, the intoxicating noises spilling out of her spurring him on. Her breathless whines, her needy whimpers, her shuddering pleas as she starts to beg him to fuck her faster each time he bottoms out. It’s too addicting to ignore, pushing him to draw more sounds out of her.
Her crying chants of “please” get louder each time he withdraws, Bucky torturously dragging his cock along her slick walls, teasing her with possibilities, only to keep the same pace, giving her no reprieve. Behind the tingling promise of pleasure, the building frustration starts to grow to unbearable heights, her brow furrowing, her fingers tightening their hold on her binds, tears pricking her eyes. 
On the next thrust, his loud groan of pleasure reaching her ears, her endless begging turns to crying, the shake of her head telling him she’s reached her limit before she can even get the words out. “I can’t… Bucky… please, I can’t.”
“Shh,” he whispers, providing comfort with his touch, caressing the back of her thighs, encouraging her to ease her legs back. “I know, baby, you’re doing so good, just relax for me.” 
The temptation to challenge him dies on her tongue and she flops her head back, begrudgingly giving in to his request, grateful to at least still have him buried deep inside of her. Not wanting to give him a reason to change his plans, she patiently watches him reach forward to readjust the chains once again, her skin flushing as he supplies a steady stream of praise.
The new position has her upper body slightly elevated, and soon he’s guiding her feet, placing them flat against his chest, offering her leverage for what feels like the first time all night. She knows better than to start moving, and the delighted grin suddenly gracing his face tells her she’s choosing the right option. 
“Oh, good girl,” he growls, his hips twitching, pulling more moans out of both of them. “I’m so fucking proud of you, baby. Now, do me a favor and push against me.” 
She obeys immediately, following his instructions until just the head of his cock rests inside of her, pausing without needing to be told, eagerly awaiting his next command. There’s no relaxing at this point, her unfurled legs tense with anticipation, her hands wrapped around the chains, her feet trembling against Bucky’s solid chest.
“That’s it,” he nods, gripping her ankles right below her binds, holding her tight against him, “fuck, you’re perfect.” A quiet second to appreciate the breathtaking vision laid out before him, steeling himself for what’s to come, and then he’s ordering her to drop, his resolve almost crumbling when she complies without hesitation, impaling herself on his cock.
The wide-eyed, hopeful look on her face does wonders for his ego, as does her familiar cry of pleasure filling his ears, Bucky’s body already aching to take over, fuck her until she’s screaming for him. He wants this more though, to watch her pleasure herself, to prove how much she wants him before he takes back control.
A short pause, unable to resist teasing her for just a moment longer, and then he’s nodding his head, giving her permission, planting his feet for stability as she starts to move, pushing against his chest. This time, she leaves almost half of his length inside of her before she’s dropping again, using the momentum of her swinging body to fuck herself.
“Oh shit, look at you,” Bucky grunts, his gaze torn between her gorgeous curves and his cock disappearing over and over, evidence of her arousal coating his shaft. “My desperate, needy girl. Taking my cock so well. Feels so fucking good, baby.”
His words spur her on, the powerful exhilaration coursing through her driving her to pick up speed, intent on bringing them both as much pleasure as possible. Incoherent words escape between heavy grunts, her body swaying in time with her thrusts, her eyes locked on Bucky’s intense, lust-filled stare. 
The vulnerability she feels from Bucky watching every single inch of her - her jiggling thighs and tummy, her bouncing tits, her straining arms - would usually be enough to have her wanting to hide parts of herself, but tonight it triggers something else inside of her. A strange bout of confidence that has her moaning his name, professing her love for him as she works her body to its limit.
Bucky’s own moan blends with hers, his fingers digging into her ankles as he lets out a breathless grunt of her name. “Fuck, I love you, so fucking much.” The obvious tension in her legs grows and soon he’s letting out another heavy breath to ask her, “Tell me what you need, baby, you need me to fuck you now? Show you just how much I love you?”
All he needs is a nod of her head and he’s taking over, grabbing her legs as her pussy flutters, her velvety walls encouraging his thrusts. Watching her intently, Bucky mirrors the rhythm she had just set, holding her calves against his shoulders in order to force her body to meet his pistoning hips, each stroke of his cock making her toes curl.
He can already feel his own orgasm building, his normal stamina being tested from sharing this new, profound experience with her, the sight of her completely at his mercy being seared into his brain. New fuel for his masturbatory fantasies for years to come.
Determined to feel her come first, Bucky keeps talking to her, telling her how hot she is, how much he loves fucking her, how incredible she feels wrapped around him. Reminding her that she’s his and he’s never letting her go. “Gonna get to keep fucking this pussy forever, sweetheart. Whenever I fucking want, won’t I?”
Her response comes out as a harsh whine, her agreement evident in the way she cries out his name, her body growing taut, his cock hitting that spot deep inside of her that’s sure to send her flying. All it takes is a few more powerful thrusts, Bucky telling her to let go, and she’s soaring, coming harder than she has all night, her pussy nearly pushing him out from the intense waves.
It proves too much for him, his hips faltering in his attempt to fuck her through it, Bucky managing to bury himself as deep as he can, trying to prolong her pleasure with short thrusts as she milks him dry. This wasn’t at all how he planned tonight to end, already craving to feel her come around him again, her trembling body inviting him to wrap her legs around his waist.
She welcomes the sudden weight of him, their mouths crashing together in a heated kiss, her bound limbs meeting resistance in her effort to cling to him, her brain practically mush, her body still pulsing with aftershocks. She’s not even aware she’s still moving against him, confusion settling in when his softening cock begins to slip out of her, the loss of their physical connection causing her to whimper against his lips.
Another hungry kiss and then he’s reassuring her, his voice rough with desire, “Oh, I’m not done with you yet, baby.” He doesn’t leave her empty for long, his hand sliding between their bodies to fill her with two fingers, her pussy slick with their combined fluids. “Oh fuck, you feel so good,” he grunts, leaning up to watch her, her back arching from the sudden pressure along her front wall.
He leaves her speechless again, her eyes rolling back, her hands trembling around the chains, his expert touch making it impossible to focus. Not that she needs to, Bucky talking her through it, his free hand sliding over her shuddering body, the smooth metal soon wrapping around her throat as he starts to fuck her harder.
“Love feeling you like this, doll,” he tells her, his heavy breaths matching hers, “your pussy full of my cum, and still desperate for more.” All she can do is nod her head, her words trapped in her throat, incoherent whines escaping with each thrust of his fingers. “Can’t get enough of me, can you, baby? Taking everything I give you like the good girl you are.”
Watching her closely, Bucky slowly adds his index finger, his three thick digits filling and stretching her, his leaking cum allowing him deep inside. She’s so tight, her walls clenching, her breaths turning to pants, but there’s no hint of reluctance, her gasps and whimpers telling him all he needs to know. 
With his vibranium hand wrapped around her throat, his thumb pressed against her pulse point, he maintains a steady pace, witnessing all the telltale signs of how close he already has her to coming again. It’s exactly what he wants, to make her lose control, over and over again, until she can’t handle anymore. 
Arousal already has his cock twitching again, her beautiful noises and unfiltered reactions triggering his need for more. To feel as much of her as he can. The slowing of his fingers has her eyes fluttering open, her mouth parting, her obvious discontent fading when she finds him smiling down at her. 
His intentions become clear the moment his pinkie joins the rest of his slick fingers, the sudden tension rolling through her body giving him pause. But then she’s nodding her head, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as she relaxes and Bucky starts slowly, sliding his fingers in centimeters at time, letting her adjust to the increasing fullness.
“That’s it,” he encourages her, “doing so good for me. Just breathe and let me in, baby.”
He’s in awe of her, how readily she gives herself to him, trusting him to take care of her, to never steer her wrong. It’s a responsibility he wasn’t sure he’d ever be comfortable taking on, and now he can’t ever imagine not having this with her. Owning every single part of her heart, mind, and body.
Her greedy pussy swallows his fingers up to his knuckles, Bucky refraining from pushing her limits any further, his slow, hard thrusts causing her to squirt and cry out his name. His hand tightens around her throat, holding her down against the swing and he growls her name in response, asking her, “Gonna come for me again, aren’t you, sweetheart? With my fingers fucking my cum back inside of you. Such a good fucking girl.”
She nearly passes out this time, her vision going white, her blood pounding in her ears, her breath caught in her lungs as her limbs go taut, pulling hard at her binds. She vaguely hears Bucky talking to her, no doubt praising her, telling her how much he loves, but she’s too far gone, her world spinning for several glorious seconds. 
His firm touches bring her back to reality, the contrast of his metal hand on her soft, flushed skin eliciting a moan of pleasure, her noises only getting louder when he leaves her empty. There’s a soft whine from the loss of him, but it’s quickly replaced by one of excitement as she watches him wrap his cum-slick hand around his hard cock.
Even as he starts to stroke himself, he’s checking in with her, asking if she needs a break, gladly offering her the world. All she wants is him, her eyes drawn to his hand, the sight of him pleasuring himself again sending tingles spreading across her skin. 
Once he’s sure she’s okay to keep going, he’s readjusting the chains with his left hand, lowering her upper body to level position and pushing her legs back so she’s spread wide. The entire time, he never stops touching himself and it drives her crazy with lust, wanting him back inside of her, her pussy pulsing with anticipation.
Bucky has other ideas though, giving her a playful wink before he’s crouching down to taste her, his tongue licking up their cum coating her swollen flesh, the same combination of fluids he’s using to to jerk himself off. It sends a shock of pleasure straight to his cock, the vibrations of his moan from the unique flavor making her twitch, almost overstimulated.
He takes pity on her, dragging the tip of his tongue through her folds, licking her from her sensitive clit, all the way down to her ass, his ears perking at her soft, breathy moans. He repeats the action, the flat of his tongue tasting every delicious inch of her, drawing more encouraging noises, the subtle signs telling him exactly what she’s craving.
Taking his time, Bucky’s attention hovers around her clit before dipping lower, placing open mouth kisses along each side of her spread pussy, then each supple cheek, working his way towards her puckered hole. One slow swirl of his tongue and she’s whispering his name, telling him yes, the simple word causing him to grip the base of his cock, pleasure shooting straight up his spine.
He probes her tight passage with the tip of his tongue, his metal fingers pressing against the top of her mound, holding her place, listening to her appreciative sounds getting louder. Her skin is already slick with her wetness, but Bucky adds more saliva, the increased lubrication allowing him to push deeper, his tongue spearing her ass with slow, teasing thrusts.
Using the swing to his advantage, his fingers dig into her flesh to pull her towards his mouth, essentially causing her to ride his tongue, his palm applying pressure to her clit. With the sounds she’s making, he briefly wonders if he can make her come like this, but then she’s arching her back, her legs tensing in an attempt to pull him deeper, her soft whimpering of ‘please’ changing his plans.
A break is warranted, Bucky taking just a minute to gather the necessary items, pausing once again to brush her hair out of her face and get her more comfortable. Returning to his rightful place between her thighs, he waits patiently for her to meet his gaze, her eager look enough to have him bringing the flared toy, already slick with copious amounts of lube, to rest between her ass cheeks.
Even though her need is written all over her face, Bucky requires more, telling her, “I need your words, sweetheart. Tell me you want this.” At first, all she can offer is a nod of her head, her voice seeming to fail her, her hips twitching, grinding against the tip of the toy. 
He’s patient, sliding his left hand along her torso, fingers ghosting over her nipples, drawing heavier breaths out of her. Enticing her with a teasing probe, she finally exhales harshly, whispering, “Yes, please, fuck my ass.”
A smile spreads across his face and the praise of, “good girl” fills her ears as he presses the toy deeper, his careful movements only seeming to add to her desperation, her body craving more. Bucky doesn’t make her ask this time, his gaze meeting hers as he starts to fuck her slowly, sliding deeper with twisting motions, ensuring the lube provides smooth movements. 
When his hand returns to her clit, she can already feel the familiar pressure building, each thrust driving her higher, her pussy pulsing, clenching around nothing, triggering the need to have him inside of her again. She doesn’t immediately vocalize it, her mind and body overwhelmed, her head pressing hard against the headrest, trying to maintain some semblance of composure.
Bucky refuses to allow it though, recognizing the look on her face, forcing her to talk, asking her what she wants. It feels almost impossible to speak, the rhythm of the toy and his consistent touch against her clit sending sparks of pleasure throughout her entire body, and yet, through the haze of it all, she wants to please him. 
Forcing the words out between shuddering breaths, she begs him to fuck her, Bucky’s response of, “I am fucking you, baby,” ripping a loud, desperate whine out of her.
“Please,” she manages, her thighs shaking, her nerves on edge, his feigned ignorance increasing her frustration.
A swipe of his thumb over her clit and then he’s dipping lower, circling her soaked entrance, her walls trying to draw him in. He resists the urge, instead sliding the toy deep inside her ass as he asks, “Is that what my dirty girl needs? To have both holes filled?” A pleading yes, and Bucky can’t resist continuing, “Yeah, baby? You need my cock in your tight pussy while this toy fucks your ass?”
The tears pricking her eyes break his resolve and he nods, his reverent touch moving back up her body, his fingers splayed across her chest as he steps forward, the head of his cock seeking out her entrance. Both hands grip her breasts and he presses forward, slipping deep inside her waiting pussy, his balls grinding the base of the toy resting in her ass.
Everything else falls away, Bucky’s focus lasered in on her, all his senses consumed by the ecstasy she brings, the feeling she evokes unlike anything he’s ever experienced. He’ll never get enough of her and as he starts to piston his hips, his hands cupping her large tits, pulling her body onto his cock, his only thought is to make her come again.
It doesn’t take long, Bucky angling his thrusts to grind hard against her gspot, his balls slapping against her ass, pressing the toy deep with each movement. Despite his own building pleasure, his words of praise come easy, his rough voice ordering her to come for him, his own desperation to feel her lose control pushing her over the edge, her bucking hips almost pushing him out.
A quick grab of her thighs and he’s forcing his cock to stay inside her spasming pussy, fucking her through the intense waves, his thrusts slowing, but never stopping. Bucky doesn’t give her a chance to come down from the onslaught of pleasure, keeping one arm around her quivering thigh, his other hand moves back to her clit, applying pressure as he tells her to give him one more.
She wants to - she wants to give him everything he asks for - but she’s reaching her limit, her body growing sore, sure to have her feeling the aftereffects of their session well into tomorrow. Her mouth opens to voice her uncertainty, the words, “I can’t” tumbling out even as Bucky starts to move faster, his heavy pants and grunts of pleasure making her squirt again.
He’s quick to disagree with her assessment, telling her, “Yes, you can. You’re gonna come all over my cock one more time, sweetheart, and then you know where I’m gonna come?”
There’s nothing else left for her to give, unable to focus long on anything other than the euphoria she’s chasing despite how tired she is. Bucky’s happy to keep talking to her even when she’s unable to respond, his words guiding her to where he needs her.
“As soon you come, I’m gonna tilt your head back and I’m gonna fuck your mouth, baby.” It’s nearly enough to make her lose control, her loud cry almost drowning out his next words, “Mmhmm, gonna fuck your mouth until I come down your throat.”
They’re both teetering on the edge of their final orgasms, Bucky’s voice rough with arousal, her fluttering walls inviting him to let go, to fill her once more with his seed. He holds back, his thrusts never ceasing, fucking her hard and fast, each movement grinding the toy deep in her ass, the exquisite noises she’s making telling him he’s on the right path.
“You love that idea, don’t ya, baby? Love taking my cock any way I give it to you, my beautiful, needy slut, just can’t get enough.”
A strangled cry and she comes for him, her tense limbs nearly breaking her binds, her back bowing, a loud scream of pleasure that pushes Bucky past his own limits. With a roar, he comes with her, the intensity blinding him, both hands now gripping her waist, forcing her onto his cock as he fucks them through it, trying to prolong everything for just a few moments longer.
Her tears of elation trigger his own, his lashes wet as he falls against her, the swing supporting his added weight, Bucky’s mouth seeking out hers. Making quick work of her binds, he’s soon guiding her limbs around his body, holding her tight against him, his cock still buried deep inside of her, her aftershocks soon causing him to slip out.
The loss is felt, but it’s easily overlooked, Bucky using the opportunity to tenderly remove the flared toy from her trembling body, soothing her with soft words and peppered kisses along her jaw. He’s rendered her speechless again, soft utterances of ‘oh my god’ and ‘holy shit’ escaping between her panting breaths. 
He’s only slightly better off, eternally grateful for his enhanced abilities helping him recover quicker, allowing him to tend to her. He’ll stay exactly where he is, for however long she needs, murmuring sweet nothings and soft praises, thanking her for being his. For loving him, as flawed as he is.
Eventually they make it to the bathroom, Bucky effortlessly carrying her, assisting her with cleaning up, the relaxing spray of the shower bringing her fully back to him. They remain locked in an embrace, his arms refusing to let her go the entire time, holding her weakened body against his during their brief shower.
There’s more to do, messes to clean up, things to put away, but for now, all that matters is the satiated woman pressed against him. A newly familiar sense of peace envelops Bucky, the warmth of genuine happiness settling over him, giving him a slight reprieve from the lingering ghosts of his past. 
He’ll never be able to fully convey how much she truly means to him, but he’ll sure as hell spend the rest of his life trying.
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The Bet 
Hot Bucky Summer Masterlist
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cherry-holmes · 6 months ago
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REGRET
Part 1
(Javier Peña x F!Reader)
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Credits of the gif on the image.
MAIN MASTERLIST
Summary: Finding out you’re pregnant create a split between you and Javier. He soon will discover that one can regret they own words.
Pairing: Javier Peña x Female Reader
Word count: +3k
Warnings: Writer prefer to not give details to prevent spoilers. Read under your own responsibility.
A/N: Hello👋🏻 This is a little something that came to my mind when a saw this gifs last week🧍🏻‍♀️ Let me know in comments if you like it👀
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Javier and you have been dating for a year and a half now. It started as something casual. You were just neighbors, then you used to talk about the weather when you crossed paths in the building. Then, he invited you for a drink, and you ended up in his bed.
He told you he was a DEA agent, and you talked about your community service as an English teacher in Bogotá.
Javier was funny and charming. He always treated you like a princess and fucked you like a slut. He was attentive, but he worked a lot. You never seriously talked about what exactly you were, but you spent much more time at his place than yours. He hadn't given you a key, precisely, but he told you he had a copy on top of his door so you could enter when you arrive and he was still at work. He picked you up from the school, and you cut his hair when needed.
Life had been busy, and you never really stopped to ask him if your relationship had a label. The truth is, neither of you had actually stopped and asked each other what would come next when he caught Escobar and/or you finished your community service.
You never thought about it, until that damn morning.
"Fuck."
It can't be happening. Two lines on a pregnancy test were the last thing you needed. You looked at it for a long, long time, trying to process what was going on. You wanted a blood test to confirm, but there's a reason why you already took a pee test. Morning sickness and a delay in your period activated the alarms. You hadn't told Javier anything yet, but it was only a matter of time now.
That afternoon you went to the laboratory, and by noon you received a phone call confirming the results. You were, indeed, very pregnant. After you hung up the phone, you cried a lot. How were you going to tell Javi? What would you do with your job? What were you going to tell your parents? Did you really want to have it... him/her?
You felt the urgency to make a decision in that very moment. Javier was going to ask you when you told him, and you knew he hated the "I don't know."
It took you one, two, three hours, and you had an answer. You knew it was the right one because you thought it would take you a lot longer to decide. But when your heart landed in the same place over and over so quickly, you simply knew it.
Javier came home late at night, but earlier than usual. He looked tired and pissed, and he let his weight fall on the kitchen chair to devour what you had made for dinner. You looked at him the entire time, and the nervousness in your chest made it impossible to eat anything. You wanted to tell him. You couldn't contain the news any longer.
"Javi," you began. He didn't look at you for more than a second before his sleepy eyes fell on his plate again. "I have something to tell you. It's very important."
"What is it, babe?" he asked, his voice slurred.
"I..." You fought the lump in your throat, encouraging yourself to tell him. "I'm pregnant."
Until that moment, you didn't know what you expected. You didn't imagine him crying with emotion and jumping around the apartment, screaming to the four winds that he was going to be a dad. But you didn't imagine what his real reaction would be, either.
Javier didn't even look at you. He dropped his fork, leaned back in his chair, and passed his hands over his face. It wasn't a surprised, emotional reaction. He was pissed. He was cursing the situation.
You didn't say anything as you felt your heart and soul sink into your stomach. Disappointment washed over you as you saw his reaction. You tried to think of something else to say, but you went blank.
"We can't," he finally said, really looking at you for the first time that night.
"What do you mean we can't?" your voice was only a whisper.
He looked at you like you were crazy. "You're not seriously thinking about having it."
Your mouth went dry, but tears welled up in your eyes. "Well... I do."
Javier's face hardened. "It's not safe, not with what I do, not with Escobar still out there."
"We can figure this out together," you said, your voice quivering. "I-I know this country is dangerous and this is probably not the right time, but is already happening and I..."
"Are you sure you're...?" he began. It hurt you the fact that he couldn't even say it.
You stood up and reached for your purse. He saw you as you placed both the pee and the blood test in front of him.
"Puta madre." Javier stood up, pacing the kitchen. "Did you take the pills?" he demanded.
You nodded. "I do. But they're not a hundred percent effective."
He ran his fingers through his hair in an almost desperate gesture. "I can't do this. Parenting is not on my plans, and you know it."
"I didn't want this to happen either, Javier, and I'm sorry," you said, trying not to cry. "But you need to people to make a baby. So, we have to figure this out together."
"Don't complicate things more," he added. He made his way to the living room, pacing like a caged animal. "Think about the consequences. I can't risk my focus on this job for this."
Tears streamed down your face. "So, what? You want me to get rid of it?"
"I think it's the best option for both of us."
After a long, cold moment of silence, you shook your head, stepping back. "I can't believe you."
He sighed heavily, looking away. "You don't understand... it's too dangerous."
"I don't care," you cried. "I'm gonna have this baby. With or without you."
He sighed. He saw the determination on you. Now he needed to make a decision, since you're not going to change yours.
"Ok," he said finally. "It will happen, but you need to go back to the States."
"No," you sentenced. Javier couldn't believe your stubbornness. "I'm not going to leave, either. I can't leave the school. Those kids need my help."
He was doing his best to not completely lost his patience and say something (more) that he could – and will – regret.
"I can't concentrate on my job and take care of a pregnant woman," he sentenced, adding your name at the end in a way you had never heard before.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. "Well, then don't worry about me. I can handle this on my own."
Javier stared at you, his eyes dark with frustration. He thought of his parents. They didn't raise a man who shirks responsibility, one who doesn't own the consequences of his actions.
For a long moment, the only sound was the ticking of the clock on the kitchen wall. Finally, Javier sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping in defeat.
"No," he said. "If that's what you want, fine. You'll have my financial support, but that's all. As soon as you finish your community service, you'll go back home. I'll send you money, that's it."
"I don't want anything from you, Javier. Not if you're not going to do it with real love," you whispered, heartbroken.
Javier's jaw tightened, but he didn't argue. He turned away, staring at the wall, his hands clenched into fists.
He looked down, unable to meet your gaze. "I never saw myself as a dad. I don't think I ever will," he admitted. "That's all I can offer. I'm sorry it's not what you expected. I'm sorry I can't be the man you need."
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Days turned into weeks, and your relationship with Javier seemed to be stuck in a constant struggle of awkward interactions and avoiding each other. He started working even later, and sometimes he didn't even spend the night at the apartment. He came back the next morning smelling like whiskey and cigarettes. When he did sleep at home, he took the couch while you slept on his bed. When you woke up in the morning, he wasn't there.
Both of you finally reached an agreement. You recognized that you needed his help, and he was aware that he had to be responsible for the situation. You moved in with Javier so you wouldn't have to waste money paying rent. Moreover, you would return to the US when you were seven months pregnant. He would conclude his duty in Colombia however long it took. Neither of you wanted to talk about what would happen then.
Your belly was now thirteen weeks along. Soon, Javier found his place filled with baby stuff. Every day he discovered something new you had bought: tiny clothes, maternity clothing, maternity books. His bathroom smelled like the body cream you used to apply on your belly, and there was a list of pregnancy-friendly foods hung on the refrigerator. He could tell you were putting your heart into preparing for the baby, and at times he felt guilty for not being able to find his own paternal instinct.
On the contrary, you were caught in a fragile rhythm. He continued his dangerous work, and you dedicated yourself to your work at school.
Nights were still lonely, but at least you had your baby. You talked and sang to them. You applied anti-stretch mark creams to your belly, and read everything about babies and labor. You were excited to meet your baby boy or girl, but sadly, at the same time, you felt heartbroken because you loved Javier, and you wished he was more present during the process. However, you had to accept that it wasn't mutual. He didn't love you; he never truly did and probably never would. He just liked to fuck. You should have known it before. Maybe you did, but you were so in love with him that you thought you could change him. Either way, it was too late now.
Javier gave you more money than you needed to cover everything you needed. He never said no when you told him you needed medicine, to pay for a doctor's appointment, or special food that didn't provoke nausea.
But he never went to those appointments with you. He never asked how they went, either. He never showed any interest in the progress of your pregnancy. It was as if he had completely detached himself from the situation, leaving you to navigate the journey alone.
Or at least, that was how you saw it. The truth was, Javier was having a difficult time processing the fact that he would be a father. He had never seen himself getting married, let alone having children.
Furthermore, there was something terrifying about having a baby in Colombia during the war he was fighting. He had witnessed men fall, leaving widows and orphans behind.
He realized that he was more scared of leaving you and his child alone in this chaotic and unfair world if something happened to him. Or worse, he feared that you have to pay for his sins and mistakes. He couldn't bear the thought of that, and he often had nightmares about losing you both.
He didn't know how to express his feelings for you. He couldn't let himself relax and just settle into the nest with you.
One of those nights, when he decided to come home earlier after work, he found you sleeping in bed. You had an open book beside you on a page about what to expect during the second trimester. You had fallen asleep in an awkward position, so he had to gently wake you up to help you move into a more comfortable one. You mumbled in your sleep, calling his name softly and sweetly. Javier felt warmth in his chest, a need to cuddle with you, touch your belly for the first time, and hold you and the baby close.
But he just couldn't do it. He didn't know why, but he couldn't. He limited himself to tucking you in with a warm blanket and opening the window for fresh air, as you liked it. He went to the kitchen, filled a glass with water, and put it on your nightstand because he knew you got thirsty in the middle of the night.
Javier observed you for a moment, peacefully sleeping, carrying his baby. He missed your soft lips and your fingers in his hair. He missed making you laugh and talking to you about each other's days. And now, he longed to make things right and try to win your heart back.
Tomorrow, he said. Turning down the lights, he went to his place on the couch.
But tomorrow was too late.
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He left early in the morning to attend an emergency meeting at the Embassy. Steve spend all morning complaining about Messina and the tie-and-suit motherfuckers, but Javier's thoughts were on you.
He was lost on his own thoughts, trying to find the right words to tell you. He was still scared, but he was determined to try. To make it work.
He was on his desk, a report on his hands but he wasn't reading it, when his landline rang.
"Peña," he picked up.
"Is this Javier?" a woman's voice asked urgently.
"Who's this?"
"This is María from the school," she said. He immediately knew something was wrong. He barely remembered María, you had presented each other last year on your birthday.
"There's been an emergency," she continued explaining, anguish filling her voice. "She's been taken to the hospital."
Javier's heart dropped. "Is she okay?"
"She collapsed in class. They think it might be related to her pregnancy. You need to get to the hospital as soon as you can."
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Javier didn't waste a second. He grabbed his jacket and bolted out of the Embassy, ignoring Steve's confused shouts. The drive to the hospital was a blur, his mind racing with fear.
What happened? You were fine last night... Didn't you? He felt a pang of guilt. What if you didn't felt well but you didn't say anything because you thought he would be mad? Fuck... He should be more available for you. You should trust him.
When he finally arrived at the hospital, he rushed to the reception desk, asking for your name. The nurse nodded and directed him to the emergency room. His heart pounded as he approached the doors, dread settling in his stomach.
He found you lying on a hospital bed, pale and hooked up to monitors. The doctor was speaking to a nurse nearby. Javier's throat tightened as he stepped closer.
The doctor noticed him and approached. "Are you related?"
"Yes, how is she?" Javier asked, his voice shaky.
The doctor sighed. "I'm sorry to inform you, but she lost the baby. There was nothing we could do. It was a miscarriage."
Javier felt like the ground had been ripped out from under him. He looked at your unconscious form, tears welling up in his eyes. "Can I see her?"
"Of course, but she's sleeping right now," the doctor said gently. "She's stable now, but you had to sedate her. This has been very traumatic for her."
Javier nodded and moved to your bedside. He took your hand in his, feeling the weight of his own failures crashing down on him. He had failed to protect you, to be there when you needed him the most.
Hours passed as he sat by your side, holding your hand and watching you sleep. When you finally stirred and opened your eyes, he was there. His eyes were teary, reddened from his contained emotions.
"Hey," he whispered, placing a strand of hair behind your ear. "I'm here," he said, squeezing your hand. "I'm so sorry. I should have been there. I should have done more."
You closed your eyes, tears slipping down your cheeks. "I lost my baby." Your voice was barely a whisper, little sobs escaping your lips. You were still in a haze of sedatives and mourning.
Javier nodded, his heart breaking at the pain in your voice. "I know. I'm so, so sorry."
"No, you don't," you said, hurt and anger painting your weak voice. "You didn't want my baby."
"I was scared," he confessed, his voice cracking. "I didn't know how to handle any of this. But I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to lose our baby."
You shook your head, tears streaming like rivers down your cheeks. The gaze you gave him was filled with anger and resentment, piercing through his chest.
"Fuck you," you cried.
Javier flinched as if you had struck him. He looked away, unable to bear the intensity of your anger and sorrow.
"I'm sorry," he whispered again, his voice barely audible.
"You never be there for us, so don't come and say you're sorry," your words melted into an unstoppable crying. You felt like if your heart would literally broke into a million pieces. Grief and exhaustion weighing heavily on you, you felt an overwhelming sense of emptiness.
"I know I can't make this right. I know I failed you. But please, let me be here for you now," he pleaded, but there was nothing he could say to soothe your unbearable pain.
"You're a piece of shit, Javier," you spat, your voice trembling with anger and grief. "I don't want to see you ever again."
You turned away from him, your tears flowing freely.
He lingered for a moment, hoping for some sign of forgiveness, but when none came, he slowly left the room, closing the door behind him.
He stood in the hallway, leaning against the wall, feeling the crushing weight of his failures. He had lost not only his child but also the trust and love of the woman who meant more to him than he had ever admitted.
Part 2
295 notes · View notes
cherriesformatt · 9 months ago
Text
sharing the news || matt sturniolo part 2
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matt x fem!reader
summary: after a while you decided its time to share the news of your new chapter in life with Chris and Nick
warnings: pregnancy
word count: 1,5k
a/n: thank you for over 100 notes under part 1! I decided to continued the story. I hope you will like it!
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It's been a month since me and Matt found out that I'm pregnant. It’s been hell of a ride so far. We somehow managed to talked Chris and Nick out of my little episode and told them I just got my period and was really upset, tired and need Matt to go to the store for me. I spent entire next two days in Matt’s room trying to figure out our situation. I was also constantly sick and anxious. After than I just tried to be as normal as I could so no one would be suspicious.
At first it was like I didn’t know what I should do. But then I found myself thinking about the baby with my hand on my stomach and I knew I wanted to keep it. I also did hear Matt talking to my belly in the middle of night which made me cry so hard in the bathroom because of how cute that was.
Today was my first ultrasound appointment to confirm the situation and check if everything is alright.
“You know… I was thinking that if everything is good I would like to tell Chris and Nick and then we can decide how and when we want to tell the rest of the family” Matt looked at me when we stopped on the red light.
Keeping this a secret form his brothers was really hard for him because they always talked about everything with each other. Which was scary for me at first. Their whole relationship and building my own with Matt but also becoming part of theirs. Now I just admire the bond between them.
“Yes I was thinking the same” I smiled at him and put my hand on his thigh. I was nervous about only one thing.
“What I was thinking… Is that I will literally jump if your fucking triplets genes worked too hard and there is more than one of those” I said what was on my mind recently.
“Oh my goodness… I didn’t think about this” He put his hand over his mouth.
He was clearly scared now.
“We giving one to Chris in that case” I said seriously.
“Please , we are never leaving our kids with Chris, ever” he said.
I only laughed at that and patted his leg.
“It’s gonna be all good Matt, let’s manifest it’s only one for now” I said.
“Baby… I know this month wasn’t ideal for you and we both tried to cope with the fact that we’re going to have a baby but also only us knowing for now is really special” He looked at me for a second and his eyes went back to the road.
That was also exactly how I felt and I leaned forward to him and kissed his cheek.
“I love you Matty… I know this is all hard but you’re right” I said.
“I love you too sweet girl… okay we’re here, let’s do this” He parked the car and took a deep breath.
Our appointment went smoothly. They did my blood test which confirmed that I’m pregnant. They also did bunch of other tests to see if I’m all good and healthy. Thankfully I was. The last step was the ultrasound.
“Alright parents…” The doctor said and I gasped at the cold of the liquid that she put all over my lower belly.
She called us “parents”, that took me by surprise and I felt so weird.
“Ready?” She looked at me and smiled and I only nodded and closed my hand on one of Matt’s hands.
She started the thing and looked at the monitor. We couldn’t see it just yet.
“Okay… I found it… everything looks great. The baby is healthy. Looks like you’re about 6/7 weeks pregnant” She said.
“Only one?” Matt asked and wiggled on the chair.
“Oh my Lord, Matt… He is a triplet and we were kind of scared that you know… there’s gonna be more than one” I laughed and looked back at the doctor.
“Yes there’s only one” She laughed as well and turned the screen so we could see it too.
I felt like my heart skipped a beat when I saw a little thing moving on the screen. Like a dot. But I knew it’s our baby.
“Oh my…” I said and she pushed some kid of button and sound of a really fast heartbeat started to play from the machine.
“Is that?..” Matt gasped as well.
“That’s your baby’s heart beating… it’s really fast that’s normal and that’s actually really good. The baby is really healthy, you guys… congratulations” She said with a big smile.
But both of us were speech less. I caught Matt swiping tears from his cheek with a corner of my eye. That moment was something you can’t explain. You need to experience that yourself to know how much love I felt in this moment.
When we were back in the car I put all of my stuff in the back seat, closed the doors and turned around to go to my doors but I was met by arms of my boyfriend.
“Oh Matt…” I said hugging him back.
He hid his head in the crock of my neck and I run my fingers through his hair. I felt tears on my skin and I couldn’t help as my eyes started to water as well.
“We’re going to be okay. We can do this Matt. Together” I said but my voice broke I couldn’t exactly feel what’s happening.
“I know… y/n I’m just so happy that’s it’s overwhelming” He said pulling back to rest his temple against mine.
“I feel exactly the same way” I whispered looking him in the eyes.
He kissed me and pulled me even closer to his body. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else.
On our way back we stopped by target and some other places to get Nick’s and Chris’s favorite snacks, drinks and some funny, cheesy stuff that had “cool uncle” on it.
At home I put all of it in two boxes and also added a picture from the ultrasound to each.
This situation was so unreal for me and Matt. They were actually filming in the kitchen now. I really wanted to have their reaction on camera, so we told them that Matt wanted to do some kind of unboxing with their eyes blindfolded and they would have to guess what’s in the boxes.
When he texted me they are ready I took the boxes and come to the kitchen and put them in front of them and stood behind the camera.
“Okay you may open them” Matt said.
They started to pull stuff out.
“That’s bullshit it’s clearly Pepsi and popcorn” Chris said.
“Yes and that’s my own lip balm” Nick said annoyed.
“Okay how about this?” Matt took an ultrasound pictures and put into their hands.
“Piece of paper?” Chris said.
“No” Matt said and looked at me.
“Picture?” Nick said and showed it to the camera.
“Yes, it’s a picture” He nodded and smiled to the camera.
“Picture of us?” Chris asked and opened his can of Pepsi.
“No… but picture of someone that is in a room with us” Matt said.
“Oh my gosh you fucking freaking me out right now, what the fuck, are you a medium or what” Nick said an put the picture on the table.
“Okay… maybe just take your blindfolds off and Chris… you might want to wait with that fist sip” I said looking at them.
“I didn’t know you were here…” Nick said and started to undo the bandanna on his head.
I bit on my nails as I watched them taking those off. Then they looked at the boxes and I felt like I stopped breathing for a second.
“What the actual fuck? Is this some kind of prank?” Chris asked as his eyes widened.
“Oh my gosh are you kidding me?” Nick looked at me and stood up.
“Chris you owe me 1000 dollars… I knew it!” He hugged me tightly and I put my arms around him.
“Did you two bet on me being pregnant? What the hell?” I laughed.
My stress went away because how could I be stressed around them.
“I actually forgot that we did” Chris said and gave Matt a big hug.
“You guys… I don’t know what to say” Nick said pulling away from me.
“Well…. To be honest we don’t know either” I said and Matt only laughed.
“Yes… this feels really like a dream more than real life” Matt said looking at his brothers.
“Wait… are we first to know?” Chris asked.
“Of course you are… who else?” Matt looked at him and Nick went closer to them and they three shared a hug and than looked at me.
“Come here mama” Chris wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“Never, ever call me that again” I said seriously while coming into the hug.
They laugh and we stand like that for a minute or two.
“Okay I love you all but all three of you smell like three different colognes and I might throw up” I said stepping back.
This baby will be the luckiest baby in the whole world having them as a family.
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prettymeredith · 3 months ago
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Fantasy of the Day: Ticklish Couger
"Excuse me hun, but just because you're dressed like you're still 25 doesn't mean you can handle it. Think you can handle a young man's hands?"
I was afraid to admit it out loud, but truthfully part of me wished I couldn't.
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The way he spoke to me was just so cocky. But I was already overcomes with jitters and excitment about this moment, I couldn't bring myself to argue with him.
"What? Don't like the mask? Nothing personal but I can't have you recognizing me outside from here. What are my friends going to think when some hag comes up to me and says Hi?"
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It's embaressing to admit how easily it was to make me laugh for him. I held a big smile and cackled loudly as he didn’t show a hint of mercy yet. My heart rate spiking once he took a particular interest in taking off my heels and testing how ticklish my feet were.
"Is the divorce finalized yet?" He teases, making my cheeks flush as he ties my toes together. "Hubby mustn't a been a foot guy I take it. If only he'd known how secy and fun they were in a pair of nylons. His loss."
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I hadn't much time to react to the slander of my own private affairs. Soon I was throwing my head back and laughing as he cupped his arm around my ankles and raked his hands over the soles of my poor feet.
"Haha!! HAHA-Oh God!! T'hahaha-HAHAha!"
"When was the last time you've been touched hmm? You're aching for this attention, its so pittiful, especially for a woman your age."
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His attacks remained fierce and consistent. "You'll have enough when I've told you you've had enough." My face grew as scarlet as my blouse, with both exhaustion and flustered arousal. It grew even hotter as I came to discover the effects of what a hairbrush can do to a pair of ticklish feet.
"I told you that you wouldn't be able to handle it. You're lucky, I have younger and prettier things to play with. I can reccomend a couple of guys who'll be more your pace. Then, I'll want you to lose my phone number, and promise never to call me again, got that? I'm not some boy toy you ticklish fucking Cougar!"
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not-magdi · 11 months ago
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"Us, Forever"
Summary: Pablo can't believe how lucky he got with you, he really can't believe it 
Word Count: 1.1k
A/N
I managed to get Corona! The one time I would have had time to write something I got Corona and a Fever that cooked my brain. But, now my test is negative again and my brain is producing ideas like crazy! 
Hope you like this one though,
Love you guys Magdi <3
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You didn't know what to think when you saw his pain-filled expression on TV. You sat there, completely frozen, worry the only thing on your mind.   
When you heard his sobs over the phone as he told you how bad it was, your heart shattered into a million pieces. That day made you realise that from that moment on, you had to be the strong one in this relationship. 
It made you realise that he needed you to be the one he could lean on, the one Pablo could let his guard down, somebody that could be strong for him too. So he didn't have to be all the time. 
You made it to your mission to do everything in your power to help him in any way possible. You rebuilt your living room into a bedroom, so he didn't have to go up any stairs. You held him day and night when the pain got too strong, and the only thing he could do was cry. 
"Baby, I'm here ... I'm here for you. Let it all out I got you."
His grip on your hoddie was so hard that his knuckles turned white. You wrapped your arms around him like you wanted to protect him from everything terrible that this world threw at him. 
Pablo felt safe in your arms. Your sent calmed him down. The warmth of your body engulfed him in a comforting manner. 
He buried his face deeper into your neck as he felt his breath starting to slow down again. 
"T-Thank you, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."
You grabbed his head to make him look at you. You assured him, "Hey, it's completely ok to feel like shit sometimes. What you are going through is nothing easy. Sometimes you just have to let it all out." 
Kissing his head, you stand up to grab something to eat for the two of you. Seeing that it was already 6 in the morning, you decided to start the day, knowing you two wouldn't fall asleep anymore. 
Pablo kept lying on the couch. The pain in his knee was now only a dull ache. He sat up a bit to be able to see you rummaging through his kitchen drawers, trying to find something to eat.
An unconscious smile makes its way onto his face. He can't get his head around how you are willing to do all of this for him. Like he really doesn't know what he would do without you. You'd do everything for him, he doesn't even have to ask for it. 
But it scared him that you wanted to help him so much. It frightened him that one day, you could wake up and realise how much work it was to be in a relationship with him. And that you would leave him because of that.
Realistically, something like that would never happen, but he was a chronicle overthinker, so let him be. 
When you came back from the kitchen with two plates in your hand, you sensed something was bothering him, but you wanted him to tell you on his own. 
You two ate your breakfast in silence, it was a weird kind of silence. You felt that Pablo wanted to tell you something the whole time, but nothing came. He just sat there and played around with his food. 
"You not hungry?" 
Looking like a child who got caught doing something stupid, he shakes his head and lowers his gaze again, not able to hold eye contact with you for so long. 
Thinking he wouldn't say anything at all. You were about to say something when you heard him say. "How do you do it?" 
Confused, you look at him. "What do you mean?" 
"I mean, like ... like how do you keep up with me?" 
Your confusion didn't get any better. You looked up from your plate and saw Pablo already staring at you, a curious yet slightly sad expression on his face. 
Pablo noticed your confused expression and continued to talk. 
" I mean, how can you keep up with literally having to be my server? You are cancelling your plans to stay home with me and do everything to keep me comfortable. You put my life before yours. Why do you do that? I-I don't understand. "
You loved him deeply and didn't see your efforts as a burden. It was natural for you to do what you could to help him. You couldn't enjoy yourself while he was suffering because it felt wrong to you.
Your silence made Pablo panic a bit, maybe he made you realise that you didn't want to live like that. What if you were actually sick of him needing care 24/7 now? 
Your voice interrupted his inner monologue, " I have no clue, to be honest. It's just - the second I heard you were injured, I felt like I had to take care of you, to help you somehow." 
You took a second to think of your following words. "When I heard you crying on the phone that day, I just felt the need to protect you, to take care of you. I know that you are a capable individual who can handle things on your own, but I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. When you care about someone deeply, it's natural to want to do everything in your power to ensure their well-being. So, even though I trust your abilities, I just want to remind you that I'm here for you if you ever need help or support. Your happiness and safety mean everything to me, and I'll always do my best to make sure you're feeling okay."
Hearing Pablo sniff made you stop your rambling and look at him. 
"Dios mio, these medications make me emotional." 
Pablo let out a wet chuckle as he wiped his tearing eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. 
You smiled at the boy before you and leaned down to place a kiss on his red nose. "I don't care, I love you one tear more or less isn't gonna change that."
"I love you too, so so much." 
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villifix · 8 months ago
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it seemed a lot of people liked the brother-in-law merle headcanons and a couple of people like the idea of uncle merle, so... let's talk about how you and daryl make merle an uncle :)
─•~❉᯽❉~•──•~❉᯽❉~•──•~❉᯽❉~•─
• you get pregnant not long after the group settles in alexandria
• merle keeps his distance from you while you're pregnant
• your hormones are all over the place, you go from laughing to crying at the drop of a dime, and any time he opens his mouth around you, he's always saying the wrong thing
• daryl has to play mediator so that you don't kill him, even though sometimes daryl considers doing it himself
• like when merle mentioned how big you were getting during your second trimester... *sigh*
• you cried
• daryl snapped
• it was... not a good day
• so he stays away for the most part, asking daryl when he wants to know how you're doing. he occasionally brings you some snacks that he must have stolen from the pantry, but you're always too hungry to care about how he got them
• first time merle actually calls you his sister out loud is after you've given birth and he holds his niece for the first time
• "atta girl, baby sister. you did real good."
• he is BEAMIIIINNGGG
• his eyes are just a little wet because the air is dry, that's all...
• he had wanted a nephew so bad, but the second he sees her, his heart grows three times it's size
• he was convinced that dixons could only make boys, but here he is holding a little dixon girl, daryl's babygirl, and she's the most precious thing he's ever seen
• constant jokes about needing a paternity test
• "i'm just saying, that nose is lookin' more like mine than yours, maybe your girl slipped into the wrong bed one night-" "shut the hell up, merle"
• merle always gives you a little wink to show he's just being an ass and not actually accusing you of such a thing
• which daryl knows. it doesn't annoy him any less, though
• never allowed to babysit EVERRRR. if your daughter isn't with aunt carol or aunt maggie, then she's at the grimes house. merle always has choice words about it
• okay, well... he babysits a couple times. and your daughter was returned back each time covered in dirt. one time merle carries her up to the door with wet pant legs pulled up to her knees and bits of leaves still strewn in her hair
• "oh... you had a fun time with uncle merle, huh?" "damn right she did, mamas. taught 'er how to catch frogs. babydoll, tell yer mama what a frog says!" "bib-bit!" "she's learnin'."
• saying the name merle is too complicated for your daughter's limited articulation, so she just calls him 'unca' while she's learning to talk.
• when your daughter DOES start to articulate...
• "son of a bitch!" "bitch!" "ha! that was good! wait- nah, nah, don't say that- aw, shit..." "shit!" "no!"
• he refuses to own up to it
• "merle! why's my daughter cursin' like a fuckin' sailor?" "well, darleena, sounds to me like she's gettin' it from you!"
• he's the favorite uncle (after aaron - your daughter adores aaron)
• rick's lowkey offended by it and tries to subtly bribe your daughter into saying she likes him more
• "uncle dick!"
• ...
• "... are you kiddin' me?" "don't know where she learned that from. must be a good judge'a character."
little bonus that doesn't have to do with uncle merle: it's really up to you, but i like to think that you and daryl would have agreed to name your daughter beth 🥺 you would have suggested the name, knowing that part of daryl never really healed after her death, and he would freeze. forgets how to breathe for a second as the memories wash over him. and then he would blink really fast as he feels his eyes start to water and he'd give you that soft little nod he does when he's trying not to cry. PLEASE- 😭
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fullsunstrawberry · 1 year ago
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PREVIEW
Love Beyond Labels
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synopsis: the misunderstood "rich girl," reveals her academic struggles to a loner with his own challenges. In an unexpected twist, they form a unique friendship—she gets study help, and he gains a true companion.
genre: slice of life, humor, fluff, angst, smut
warnings**: swearing, bullying, joke of “social suicide”, smut (more to be added)
word count: estimated 10k (preview 1k)
release date: December 10th
a/n: thank you guys so much for 2k followers AHHHH so i decided to post my first ever written fanfic…this took forever to write btw lol
taglist open! (18+)
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School is easy, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty. Well, that's what all your classmates thought. They didn't know how difficult school was for you. You never got what was happening in class. Anytime you got an answer wrong, no one batted an eye because who expects the rich pretty girl to get an answer right? But little did they know you would cry in the janitor's room after each time. You just hated feeling so dumb.
"Ugh, I'm not ready for today's test," Jaemin huffed, plopping down beside you.
"Wait, there's a test?" you sighed, already predicting the outcome.
Mr. Moon whispered a half-hearted "good luck" as he handed you the test, before moving on and finishing handing out everyone else’s tests. He already knew how it was going to go. You hated how even the teachers knew you were stupid.
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After the test, you already knew you failed it. You were the last one to turn your test in, when Jaemin asked if you wanted to meet up with him, Jeno, Mark, and Chenle for lunch. You nodded telling him you had to stop at the office real quick.
Instead of walking towards the office, you sped walked to the janitor's closet, already feeling the tears threaten to escape. You knew you failed that test. Even though you acted like you didn’t know you had a test, you lied. You’ve been studying for it for a long time. Even canceling plans. But you would never admit it to anyone. You studied your ass off but still failed, that’s even more pathetic than forgetting about it.
You quickly took out the keys and opened the door quickly so no other student would see it. You thank the janitor for being so forgetful that you could easily steal one of his keys. He has a bunch of copies, one missing wouldn’t hurt. Right as you locked the door you sat in the corner, not even bothering to turn the lights on.
you were always an ugly crier, but it was okay cause you bought the most expensive waterproof makeup for these occasions. Only a quick bathroom stop is needed before meeting your friends for lunch.
As you were drying your tears you heard the door jiggle and then open. you quickly hid your face just in case it was someone you knew.
"Y/N?" a voice you didn't recognize spoke, interrupting your quiet moment in the janitor's closet.
Confused, you wiped your face and looked up at the mystery voice. You kind of recognized the thick black glasses boy in front of you. You knew he was in some of your classes but you couldn’t think of his name.
Fearing the worst you cleared your throat before asking “What do you want?”
“Uh, I don't want anything!" the boy replied, swiftly stepping into the room and closing the door. You noticed he had his lunch tray with him. "This might sound pathetic, but I like to eat my lunch here."
confused, you asked him “Why would you do that?”
“Well I don’t really have friends and I don't want to get picked on” he explained sitting down next to you, not having much of a choice because there wasn’t that much room.
"Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll just go," you said, preparing to stand up. But before you could, he quickly called out your name, making you look down at him.
"You're not bothering me! You can stay and talk about what's going on. I know we don't talk, but I can listen to you." His hopeful eyes convinced you to sit back down. You quickly wiped away your tears before confiding in him.
“You can’t tell anyone this!“ You put your pinky finger up and put it near him. “promise?
“I don’t have many people to tell” he let out a small laugh while putting his hands up defensively. “promise!” he took your pinky finger in his
“okay” you nodded “I failed my psychology test today”
you looked at his face and he looked confused “What?” you questioned
“Oh it's just, you always fail your tests. Everyone knows that”
As he said that you felt the tears start to come back. Of course, he wouldn’t get it. Why did you ever think he would get it?
“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m so sorry” he panicked “I shouldn’t have said that!”
you turn away, quickly wiping away your tears again. “no I get it, I’m the dumb girl”
"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Hey, want to hear something embarrassing about me? I'm only here because of a scholarship. That's why no one wants to be friends with me!" he confessed.
you start to giggle “That’s not embarrassing!”
“It made you laugh! But here is something actually embarrassing, my teacher forgot my name today. Even though I've had her for the whole year.”
Your eyes widen, feeling bad that you forgot his name.
“ahh you don’t know my name either”
you smile “If you tell me your name, I’ll forgive you”
“haechan”
“That's a nice name, haechan” You smiled at the way it rolled off your tongue.
“thank you, I have a proposition or a proposal”
“I know what proposition means” you teased
he giggled, “I’ll help you study”
your eyes lit up, “really? What can I do for you?”
he avoided your eyes and cleared his throat “Be my friend”
your eyes softened “That’s not hard, I was going to be your friend after this conversation anyways” You pushed his shoulder.
He finally met your eyes and smiled at you. “then you don’t have to do anything, friends help friends”
As the bell faintly rang, you pulled out your phone. "Here, give me your number so we can talk."
he paused for a second before taking your phone
standing up and thanking him before you quickly left to go touch up your makeup in the bathroom. Reminding yourself you would have to tell Jaemin you were sorry for ditching him and the guys.
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