#because I’m not good at drawing Logan yet

[projectorthus]

Ah shit I drew Kurt again

Slooowly getting the hang of how his hair is. I’m reading the Claremont era stuff right now so like. EARLY Nightcrawler and I want to stick to that in terms of how his face is always in shadow, but I love how everyone draws his hair different. I’m still figuring it out.

[malavera]

Suddenly thinking about this, imagine you were getting ready for a date night that you and oldman!Logan always has every Saturday. you’re already wearing the most sexy yet comfortable dress you have, your favorite short black dress that hugs your curves oh so perfectly. and Logan’s just there, sitting on his chair, with a glass of bourbon he’s holding on the armrest. when you noticed him from the mirror, a blush crept on your cheeks. he’s there enjoying his girl, getting ready meticulously only for him to wreck later on after the dinner. “stop staring.” you murmured while applying your eyeliner, leaning your body against the mirror standing up. the oldman took a deep breath before lifting his glass to his lips, “i have the right to stare at what’s mine.” he muttered before taking a sip. you shyly smiled. “stop making me nervous, you’re gonna make me mess up my eyeliner.” you muttered, carefully drawing the line on your eye. “they’re gonna be smudged anyway when we get home later and i make you cry because of how good i’m fucking your pussy.”

[iluvloganhowlett]

I HATE YOU .𖥔 ݁ ˖

in which logan leaves for a mission unexpectedly for almost a year and still expects to be welcomed home upon return

warnings: angst, no happy ending (oops!), a little violence, mutant!reader, that’s it fr

reader has same powers as logan bc they were both experiments at the same time

i also switched up the timeline slightly so pretend logan isn’t a grumpy old man and is more so how he was in x-men (2000)

i also saw some other story that was kinda like this one but i couldn’t remember who’s it was so if anyb knows drop it so i can credit

part 2

“why are we here again?” wade questioned, stuffing a handful of cheetos he stole from a vending machine a while back.

logan only glared at him, “because. i left her for 9 months, the least i can do is come home and show her that im alive.”

wade shrugs, “who even is this ‘she?’ is she hot?”

in seconds, wade finds himself pinned against the wall of the hallway, logan’s claws only centimeters from his neck. “she’s my girl, you don’t get to talk about her being hot,” logan growls, retracting his claws and releasing wade.

“well damn wolvie! don’t get your panties in a bunch, im not stealing your girl! unless the charm is just too much for her then-“

“do you ever stop fucking talking outta your ass?”

wade only sighed, halting to a stop as logan did the same. “137,” logan muttered, looking up at the 137 sitting next to your door.

as logan rose his hand to knock, the door was swung open. logan’s eyes widened. he thought he’d gotten himself back into the right headspace to see you again, clearly he’d been mistaken.

the way your low-set brows rose up at the corners in anger, your long lashes drawing his eyes straight to your deep brown ones. your plush lips curled in slightly and your hair flowed down your back smoother than water.

wade whistled, “hey hot stuff-“ before he was cut of with a punch to the nose, dragging him down to the floor.

logan still had yet to say anything, admiring all the parts of you he’d missed.

however he was cut off with a groan, looking down at your claws that had made their way through his abdomen and back out, retracing back into your forearms.

“what the hell are you doing back here? and who’s the red sex-toy lookin’ thing that i j punched?”

as much as logan wanted to laugh at your dig at wade, he knew how to read the room. and frankly, he was still to stunned. “y/n? baby?”

“don’t call me that,” logan’s eyes widened, “you don’t get to call me that after disappearing for 9 months without notice, lo!”

logan couldn’t help but admire your use of his nickname you created even though you’re pissed at him.

“listen. i know, okay? i know and im sorry but if you let me in,” logan stepped closer, “i can expl- ah fuck!”

you’d stabbed him again in the same spot, pushing his body against the hall with your claws. “no you listen to me, logan. and you listen to me good. i’m not letting you come into my- our house after going awol for fucking forever and coming back with some random gay in a red suit,” you pulled your claws out of him but didn’t put them away this time.

your face softens, eyes moving rapidly between logan’s. he knew you better than anyone, he could see the way your eyes shifted from angry to vulnerable and the way your eyebrows lifted; you were a mini him, despite you being the same age.

“i thought you died, lo. i spent the past months thinking the only person i had and loved was fucking dead,” your eyes welled up as you backed away from logan, putting your claws away alas.

“i’m sorry, doll. im so sorry you have no idea,” logan’s calloused hands grazed your forearms, thumbs tracing the spot where your claws rested.

you sighed, holding back the urge to give in and hold onto him as long as you could.

“but you dont understand-“ you looked away, only for logan to lift a hand and cup your face in it, forcing your glossy eyes to meet his.

“you’re right, james! i don’t understand! so jesus fucking christ enlighten me.”

logan was taken back at your use of his real name, lip parting slightly. his heart ached more and more every time he watched your bottom lip quiver. he knew you were trying to keep up your strong facade, but were beginning to fail.

“i had a mission to go on. i had to save the world, baby!” your brows curled back into anger, and logan knew you thought he was bullshitting. “cmon, angel, stay with me. the asshat over there in the red, he dragged me into this. so if you’re gonna kill anyone for this, have it be him. i just- i need you to let me in.”

you shook your head. “lo- just-“ you stuttered, scavenging for words. “but why didn’t you say anything? you couldn’t have called? sent a letter? hell, baby i would’ve been happy with a fucking pigeon!”

“i didn’t have access to that shit.”

“for 9 months?”

he took a deep sigh, “yes, for nine months.” his tone grew louder. “because if i hadn’t left you for those 9 months there would be no more you for me to come back home to!”

“get out of my damn building, logan.”

“what?”

“leave! i want you and that goddamn red thing to get as far away from me as you fucking can and stay there.”

“y/n-“

“bye logan!”

you slammed the door in his face, leaving him standing there in utter disbelief.

logan’s claws retracted, “FUCK!” he screamed through the hall, leaving a giant claw park across your door.

he looked down at wade, who was watching from a safe distance on the floor. he put his claws away, grabbing wade by the fabric of his suit and dragging him onto his feet.

“get up, you heard the girl; let’s get the fuck away from her.”

logan was breathing heavy, more than ever before. it was like his heart couldn’t catch up to everything he was feeling in the moment. the last thing he wanted to be doing right now was walking out of your apartment building and leaving you, but he was weighed down by so much anger and hurt that he wasn’t exactly in control of himself at the moment.

“well,” wade started, “you handled that well.”

and before he knew it, wade was stabbed into a wall. “ow?”

logan growled, “i’m coming back for her.”

wade only let out a long laugh, stopping logan in his tracks.

“what the fuck are you laughing at? you should’ve heard the joke she made about you! she said you look like a sex toy-“

“i’m not laughing at that, you ape. i’m laughing at the fact that you’re coming back to her! look how it turned out the last time you ‘came back.’ “

“you don’t know what you’re talking about, kid. i’m coming back, whether she likes it or not. i’m not losing the love of my life after all i did to make sure i wouldn’t lose her.”

“i-“ “and next time im here, you won’t be.”

so! should i make a part 2 WITH a happy ending when he does come back??? 🫣🫣

♯ taglist! ∿

@spazwayy @oatmilkriver @sseleniaa @mei-simp @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesangel @realsimpbitchshit @pickuptruck01 @keigohawks @thereallchristine @velvrei

[pandapetals]

Hi hi! What about old man!Logan thinking you’re too sweet for him and he’s too old for you but he can’t stay away from you. And you wouldn’t like it anyway, because he has everything you need and want.

AHHH i just wanna say I love your account and writing so much. Thank you for the request.

old man logan x fem!reader - drabble, flirting, teasing, slight angst, no y/n used, no reader description

“Sweetheart,” Logan drawled, his voice rough yet tinged with warmth as you shifted on his lap, teasing him with that playful gleam in your eye. His hands tightened instinctively on your hips, a steadying anchor against your mischief. “This is the last time. I promise.”

You tilted your head, a soft smirk tugging at your lips. “That’s what you said last time... and the time before that... and—”

“Alright, alright,” he interrupted, exhaling a gruff sigh that couldn’t hide the hint of amusement beneath it. “But I mean it this time. I’m too old for you. You deserve someone who can keep up.”

Before the words could sink in and twist your heart, you reached up, your fingers tracing the sharp line of his jaw, moving slowly over the weathered scars that mapped his face. Each one told a story—of fights fought, losses endured, and battles survived. Some were deep, others faint, but all of them were unmistakably his.

“Do you think I could ever stay away from you?” you murmured, your voice soft as your touch lingered, your thumb brushing the roughness of his cheek. “You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Logan. You need me, and we both know it.”

Your words made him pause, his chest rising and falling with a slow, steady breath as he studied you. 

“You’re too good for this life,” he finally said, his tone quieter, almost pained. “Too good for me.”

You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose, your hands sliding up to rest against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palms. “That’s not your call to make,” you said, your voice firm but laced with tenderness. “I’ve made my choice, Logan. It’s you.”

His hands loosened on your hips, his thumbs brushing lightly against your sides as his gaze softened. “You don’t make things easy, do ya?” he muttered, a faint smirk playing on his lips.

You smiled, brushing a stray strand of hair from his forehead. “Since when do you like easy?”

A rough chuckle escaped him, and for a moment, the weight he carried seemed to lift just a little. “Guess I don’t.”

He leaned forward then, his forehead resting gently against yours, the closeness grounding him in a way he hadn’t felt in years. “You really aren’t gonna give up on me, are ya?”

“Not a chance,” you whispered, your fingers threading through his hair, gently tilting his head back until his hazel eyes met yours. “Now,” you teased, a playful glint in your eye as you leaned in close, “where were we…”

Before he could answer, your lips met his in a kiss, slow and deliberate laced with mischief. He sighed into the kiss, his hands sliding up your back to pull you closer, his rough touch sending a shiver throughout your body. 

“Oh, I was teasing you,” you murmured against his lips, your smirk evident in your voice as you shifted in his lap, your hips moving just enough to draw a groan from deep in his chest.

“Darlin’,” Logan growled softly, his grip tightening on your waist as his eyes darkened, warning and want mingling in his gaze. “You’re playin’ with fire.”

You tilted your head, your smirk widening as you trailed your fingers down the line of his jaw. “Good thing I’m not afraid of getting burned.”

[urdreamydoodles]

Wolverine x Fem!Reader

Jealousy

Logan struggles to understand the unfamiliar feelings he has toward you, a kind-hearted and beautiful mutant loved by everyone at Xavier’s School. As jealousy simmers beneath the surface, he eventually realizes that you’ve had your heart set on him all along.

Logan watches you from the corner of the room, arms crossed over his chest, trying not to scowl. You’re smiling, as always, laughing at something Gambit said, your eyes glowing with warmth. It’s a look that seems to be meant for everyone around you—but never for him.

He grunts, glancing away, trying to shake the feeling that's been gnawing at him for days. It’s ridiculous, really. Why should he care that every single guy in the mansion seems to orbit around you like you’re the sun?

You’re a teacher at Xavier’s now, like him. A mutant whose powers are as impressive as they are mysterious, though no one seems to care much about that. The way everyone talks about you, they’re more focused on how sweet you are, how you have a way of making anyone feel at ease, even in a place full of battle-hardened mutants.

And you’re... well, Logan’s never really put much stock into beauty, but there’s no denying that heads turn when you walk into a room. The sight of you, with your gentle smile and graceful movements, draws attention whether you intend it to or not. It’s irritating how many men around the mansion make fools of themselves trying to get you to notice them. Gambit, with his endless charm. Angel, always hovering around with those damn wings. Nightcrawler, with his shy smiles and sweet words.

It shouldn’t bother him. He doesn’t get jealous. He’s Logan, for crying out loud. Wolverine. He’s been through too much, seen too much, to be worried about a pretty face.

But here he is, in the back of the room, glaring at Gambit like the Cajun just insulted him. Which he hasn’t. Not yet, at least.

You say something to Gambit, and his grin grows wider. He leans in closer to you, brushing a hand against your arm like he’s always been allowed to touch you that way. Logan feels his fingers twitch, an unfamiliar anger rising in his chest.

Get a grip, Logan, he tells himself, gritting his teeth.

“Logan?” Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, soft and warm, and suddenly you’re standing in front of him, looking up at him with those bright eyes of yours. He didn’t even notice you walking over.

He clears his throat, straightening. “What?”

You give him that smile, the one that knocks the breath out of everyone around here. “I’ve been trying to say hi all day. You’ve been avoiding me?”

Logan huffs, crossing his arms tighter over his chest. “Ain’t avoiding you. Just busy.”

“Busy glaring at Gambit?” you tease, raising an eyebrow. It’s like you can see right through him, and that makes him all the more uncomfortable.

“I wasn’t—” Logan stops himself. Damn it, you’re too good at this. “What do you want?”

You tilt your head slightly, your expression softening. “You alright, Logan? You seem... off.”

“Off?” He frowns, his brow furrowing. How are you always so perceptive? He should be better at hiding this. Hell, he’s had centuries of practice keeping people at arm’s length, but with you, it’s like you’ve been cutting through that barrier since the day you arrived.

You reach up, laying a gentle hand on his arm. Your touch is soft, and it takes every ounce of self-control not to flinch—not because he doesn’t like it, but because it sends a jolt through him. Like something raw and unexplainable stirring in his chest.

“You can talk to me, you know,” you say softly. “I’m here if you need anything.”

There’s no pity in your voice, no patronizing tone. Just genuine concern, like you actually care about how he’s doing. It confuses him. He’s used to people being wary of him, keeping their distance. But not you. Never you.

Logan shifts, feeling the weight of your hand on his arm, and glances away, unable to meet your eyes. “Ain’t nothing to talk about.”

You give him a small smile, dropping your hand, but not stepping back. “Alright. But if you change your mind, I’m around.”

You turn to walk away, back toward Gambit, who’s still waiting for you. And Logan feels something sharp twist in his gut.

Before he can stop himself, he reaches out, grabbing your wrist gently. “Wait.”

You pause, turning back to him with a curious expression. “Yeah?”

Logan hesitates, his grip loosening slightly. He’s not good at this—never has been. Words fail him more often than not, and emotions? Well, he doesn’t like dealing with those either.

But the thought of you going back to Gambit, of you laughing with him again, letting him get close to you... Logan doesn’t like it. Not one bit.

“I—” He struggles to find the right words, his jaw tightening. What the hell is wrong with him? “I don’t like... seein’ you with all those other guys.”

Your eyes widen slightly, surprise flickering across your face. “What do you mean?”

Logan lets out a low growl of frustration, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t like it when they’re all over you. Gambit, Angel, all of ‘em. They act like you’re some... prize or somethin’.”

You blink, clearly not expecting that. “Logan, they’re just being friendly. We’re all close here.”

“Yeah, well, they’re too damn friendly.” The words come out harsher than he intends, and he curses under his breath. He didn’t mean to sound possessive, but that’s exactly what it sounds like. He doesn’t even know why he’s saying this. What’s it to him if you like Gambit or Angel?

But the thought of you being with someone else, of you smiling at them the way you smile at him, makes something ugly twist inside him.

You look at him for a long moment, as if trying to piece together what’s going on in his head. And then, to his surprise, you smile—really smile. Not the polite kind you give everyone else, but something softer, more real.

“Logan,” you say gently, taking a step closer. “Are you... jealous?”

He bristles immediately, his face hardening. “Jealous? Hell no. I don’t get jealous.”

“Uh-huh.” Your smile widens slightly, and for a moment, Logan swears he can see a hint of amusement in your eyes. “You sure about that?”

He grumbles something incoherent under his breath, unable to come up with a proper response. Damn it, how did you manage to get under his skin so easily?

“Logan,” you say again, softer this time. “If you want to talk, I’m here. You don’t have to keep pushing me away.”

Logan feels his heart clench, the sincerity in your voice throwing him off balance. He’s not used to this—to someone actually caring. Especially someone like you.

“I just don’t like sharin’,” he mutters finally, his voice gruff. “That’s all.”

You tilt your head, stepping even closer so that you’re standing right in front of him. “Sharing what?”

Logan swallows hard, his gaze flicking away from yours. “You.”

The word hangs in the air between you, and for a moment, Logan wonders if he’s crossed a line. If he’s said too much. But instead of pulling away, you smile, your eyes softening.

“You don’t have to share me, Logan,” you say quietly. “I’m not interested in Gambit or Angel. Or anyone else for that matter.”

His gaze snaps back to yours, surprise flickering across his face. “What?”

“I’m saying,” you continue, your voice gentle but firm, “if you want my attention, you’ve already got it. You always have.”

Logan stares at you, his mind racing to process your words. You... what? How long has he been trying to figure out what the hell he’s feeling, only to find out that you’ve felt the same way this whole time?

He lets out a low, disbelieving chuckle, shaking his head. “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?”

You laugh softly, stepping even closer, until you’re almost pressed against him. “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

For the first time in what feels like forever, Logan lets his guard down, just a little. He reaches out, resting a hand on your waist, and looks down at you, his voice low and rough. “You sure about this?”

You nod, your eyes meeting his with unwavering certainty. “I’m sure, Logan.”

And just like that, the tension that’s been building between you for what feels like ages finally breaks. Logan pulls you closer, his grip tightening on your waist, and for once, he lets himself be honest with what he wants.

You.

Only you.

[strazki]

School Bus Graveyard headcanons no one asked for but will still get 😤

Ashlyn has autism. Honestly pretty much canon at this point, considering what we've seen of her, but still

The whole group took a hot second to adjust, but they are now so accommodating to it

Obviously there's the noise issues, but they also recognize when she needs to be alone, and they don't bother her too much about her being so asocial

I’m projecting but I just love these guys

ANYWAY, on a completely different subject, I think Taylor is actually a really good singer! She's just very shy about it

I also think Aiden can definitely play drumset

Top that off with Tyler canonically playing guitar, all you need to do is give Ben a bass or something and then they're basically just a little band!

I think they would be called the Phantoms or some shit like that

Ashlyn can do backup vocals, and I love my boy Logan but he's giving stage manager vibes a little bit lol

Someone's gotta do it

Taylor and Tyler share their clothes all the time. We already see that they have the same room, which most likely means the same closet, and since the two of them have a relatively similar build (and thus, similar clothing sizes), they just don't really bother separating their clothes (probably why they're matching so often)

Aiden does so much stupid rich kid shit. Not obnoxiously, but just out of a lack of understanding

Probably says some shit to the others like "Wait, your parents didn't get you a car? I know we can't drive yet, but you can still like... take pictures with it."

Bro has no idea he's that rich

The twins absolutely love going over to Ashlyn's place to get self-defense training from Mike and Emma. With their father being gone for a while, and their mom being not all there (for lack of a better description), it's been a long time since they've had a stable parental figure in their lives

Ashlyn's parents are just so nice to them and treat them like their own kids. I just think it's something they needed in their life that they found in an unexpected place :(

Ben loves to paint! He took up art and drawing ever since he lost his voice, and finds painting specifically very calming

He's been working on portraits for each of his friends that are all lying half-finished around his room

Even when he finishes them, though, he probably wouldn't show them for a while because he's quite nervous about it

If he DOES show them, he would definitely give Taylor her's first, because that's who he feels closest to

She cries

I feel like Logan, with working at the flower shop and all that, probably spends a bit of time putting together little bouquets for his friends

Not as like a grand show of affection, but just little gifts to show his appreciation for them being around and caring about him

Probably personalizes them a LOT too. Not only does he coordinate them to match the favorite colors/flowers of the person he's making them for, but he knows all the symbolic meanings behind each flower

Like, for example, I bet he gets yellow roses for Ben to signify friendship, and pink roses for Ashlyn to signify gratitude, that sort of stuff

His love language is gift giving and he's never had friends as close as these guys, leave him alone >:[

Okay that's all I got right now send tweet

[justevelynnnn]

Halloween🎃

A/N: Quick drabble cause halloween😭 i had nothing big planned tbh. Also barely proofread as of rn i got too much school stuff to worry abt to proofread good or make that masterlist 💀 so sorry guys but anyways Happy Halloween!

Summary: The crews first halloween together!

Warnings: Cussing and Logan stabs Wade once

- Logan never really celebrated halloween. I mean this guy saw the holiday become what it is now. But he never went trick or treating and even as he got older he’s always had other things to worry about.

- Wade was the same (the never celebrating halloween thing not being old enough to see Halloween come to america)

- Both of them had tough childhoods.

- Wade went to a few halloween parties and dressed up but his heart was never fully in it (other than that year he had with Vanessa..)

- This year instead of it being just him and althea now he has her, Logan, mary puppins AND laura.

- He felt…more excited? This year?

- He really wanted to show Logan around his universe and celebrate all these holidays with him. And even though Laura was older she actually wanted to go trick or treating still just to experience it.

- “Peanut, you have to step up and at least take her to a few houses!” Wade said to Logan at dinner.

- “She ain’t my daughter or responsibility, bub. Ion gotta do shit.” Logan snapped as he took a swig of his beer. “Plus, ain’t she a bit too old for that shit anyways? We can buy her candy at the damn store.”

- “Logan…we have an opportunity here to change her life! Give her a good memory just once!”

- “Fuck off.” Logan looked away.

- Wade thought a moment. “Okay…if you take her to..” he thinks for a second, “Take her to 5 houses and i won’t talk for a whole day!”

- Logan looked at Wade but didn’t move his head.

- “Okay. 5 days.”

-“Deal.”

- “Wanna shake on it?” Wade stretched out his hand but Logan declined.

- “I knew you were scratching your balls under the table, Wade”

- “Oh.”

- Wade helps Laura pick a costume and left Al to decorate and Logan to watch her decorate.

- “That’s upside down yknow.” Logan said looking at the Halloween poster on the wall.

- “No. I don’t know. How could i know? You’re just as dumb as that idiot.” Al joked as she turned the poster right side up.

- Logan just shook his head and looked out the window. Kids were already walking around with parents and going around. Wade said he might be late getting back and to just “hand out the candy to the kiddies, peanut.”

- He grumbled. No one showed up yet.

- Deep down he felt a twinge of sadness over not getting to experience this. It was very small. He actually liked halloween as time went on because it was the one night mutants could be mutants and not get judged…

- The door bell rings which snaps him from looking out the window. Al yells at him to get the door. It was probably Wade and Laura finally.

- It was not.

- “Trick or treat!!”

- A small ghost and a slightly taller Princess hold up semi filled pumpkin buckets. The princess smiles widely the ghost of course was emotionless.

- “Hey…there….” Logan said quietly. He was not good with damn kids. No no no. Nope. He almost closed the door and said fuck it but the princess started to look confused.

- “Hey, mister where’s our candy?”

- “Right….” Logan gets some candy and pours it into the kids pumpkins. “Okay…..run along now.”

- The kids run off giggle to the next door across the hall from the apartment. Logan sighed and closed the door.

- Another kid came alone a few minutes later. They were dressed up as sabertooth and for some reason this scared logan enough to accidentally draw his claws.

- “Shit- Sorry kid. Didn’t mean to-“ Logan rubbed his hand where the claws came out and but the kid to his surprise wasn’t scared…he didn’t run off to tell anyone he found a mutant…

- “Are those…real?” The kid asked point at his hand.

-“Oh…no..it’s my..costume. Yeah. Yeah, i’m that wolverine guy..” Logan lied.

- The kid beamed. “Wow! That’s awesome!”

- “Thanks kid. Y’want come candy?” Logan picked out he bowl but the kid shook his head.

- “That was way cooler than candy…can i see it again? Can you do it again? Pleaseeee?”

- Logan slowly drew out his claws as the kid looked shocked. “Wow wow wow! They look so real! You’re cool! Can i touch one?”

- Logan let him and told him to be careful.

- The kid started to leave and Logan waved him goodbye. Maybe kids aren’t so bad after all…

- Right when the kid left Wade and Laura came around the corner.

- “See you’re great with kids!” Wade said as he slow clapped.

- “Whatever..” Logan brushed it off, just this once. He was in a good mood right now..

- Logan complimented Lauras costume and let her lead the way as she was actually excited for once. She smiled up at him as they walked the neighborhood and went to definitely more than 5 houses. She talked about the other Logan and how she missed him and how grateful she was for him to take her to do this.

- “No problem, kid.” Logan just said. “Ready to head back?”

- Laura’s pillowcase was full now and also heavy so Logan had it. It was so full you couldn’t even close it anymore.

- She nodded as they walked back home.

- Wade wanted to join but he decided to stay back and let Logan and Laura have their time.

- Also he had to take over handing out candy duty since Al kept dropping candy in the floor, missing kids buckets and pillow cases.

- Halloween music played now and orange and black balloons filled the apartment along with a couple of random Halloween themed decor. Wade finished decorating for Al also because a lot of stuff was in the wrong spot.

- “Al way did you put the front door mat by the bathtub?? And what-? Why is the string of orange lights covering the couch and not the wall? And..why is Mary puppins not in her wolverine costume???”

- When Logan and Laura got back laughing Wade smiled. “Looks like you two had fun!”

- “Yeah, and we went to more than 5 houses too so now you have to shut up for 100 days.” Logan joked.

- “Yeah, so that was not part of the deal…”

- “Too bad. Shutting up time starts now.”

- Laura laughed and handled Wade his favorite candy. “It’s okay..take this. I’ll convince him to shorten you sentence.”

- Wade just nodded sadly and ate the candy.

- As the night came to an end, the family decided to watch a couple of scary movies and share Laura’s candy. Laura got scared for a moment when she saw Mary puppins secretly got into some of the Hersey pile but Wade soon reminded her, “She’s a deadpool remember? She’ll be fine…”

- “Oh right..”

- Logan quickly stabbed him with one claw barking, “Hey! No talking remember?!”

- Wade mouthed, “Geez..” And rubbed where he got stabbed but said nothing else.

- The night ended with Logan passed out drunk(he’d forget the deal he and Wade made by morning for sure), Wade falling asleep next to him, Al going to her room after the first movie ended, Laura falling asleep at the end of the couch on Logan’s other shoulder, and Dogpool sleeping in a pile of chocolate candy wrappers…

[multi-fandoms-posts]

Playful Distraction: A Day of Mission and Mischief

X Men Masterlist

It’s a clear, sunny day as you, along with Charles Xavier, Erik Lehnsherr, and the X-Men team, embark on a mission. You’re heading towards a mysterious facility rumored to produce dangerous mutant energy sources. Charles and Erik are leading the team, while Scott, Jean, Raven, Storm, and Logan are preparing to infiltrate the facility. But you, with your usual playfulness, can't resist adding a bit of excitement to the mission.

“Charles, Erik…” you send them a telepathic message. “Have you noticed how good you both look today?” Your thoughts are flirtatious and cheeky, and you teleport quickly from one place to another. In an instant, you’re right next to Erik, place a hand on his chest, and whisper, “The magnetic pull of you draws me in…” Before he can react, you give him a quick but passionate kiss on the lips and teleport away.

Erik raises his eyebrows slightly, but there’s an amused smile on his lips. “Y/N, this is not the time for that,” he says sternly, yet with a hint of amusement.

You teleport directly to Charles, who looks at you with a piercing gaze. “Y/N… please,” he says softly in your mind, though a smile flickers in his eyes. “We need to focus on the mission.”

“I can’t help it if you both are so irresistible,” you respond telepathically and give him a gentle kiss on the lips before teleporting away again.

“Y/N!” Scott’s voice comes over the radio. “Stop teleporting around and focus. We’re almost there!”

You sigh and pout. “Yes, yes, I’m on it. You’re all way too serious.”

Logan grumbles and gives you a sidelong glance. “Could you focus on the mission instead of teasing your boyfriends in the middle of a dangerous situation?”

You teleport next to him, stroke his cheek, and whisper, “Logan, you’re just jealous because you’re not allowed to play.” With a mischievous smile, you teleport away again.

Logan grumbles again and turns away from you. Erik exchanges a look with Charles and raises an eyebrow. “Sometimes I wonder why we brought her along,” Erik says, but the smile in his eyes shows he’s not serious.

“Because you love me,” you respond with a telepathic smile.

But as the facility comes into view, the playful atmosphere fades, and a serious tension sets in. You approach the target, and it’s time to get serious.

“Jean, do you sense anything?” Charles asks, placing his fingers on his temples to concentrate better.

Jean closes her eyes, her forehead furrowing. “There are guards… but nothing really powerful. It doesn’t seem like a major threat.”

Erik nods. “Raven, Logan, you go ahead and neutralize the guards. We’ll follow you.”

Raven immediately transforms into a guard, while Logan extends his claws and stays quietly by her side. You teleport to the side of Charles and Erik, ready to intervene at any moment.

Suddenly, an alarm goes off, and the facility comes to life. “We’ve been discovered!” Scott calls out and immediately fires his eye lasers at the oncoming guards.

“Time to get started,” you murmur and teleport directly into the middle of the fight. With graceful movements, you teleport between the guards, taking them down with precise kicks and punches. In between, you teleport to Charles or Erik to help or protect them, even though both are quite capable of defending themselves.

“Y/N, watch out!” Erik calls as a guard aims at you. But before you need to react, Erik raises a hand, and the weapon is ripped from the guard’s hand. “I’ve got it covered,” he says with a confident grin.

Charles remains calm and uses his telepathy to anticipate the enemies’ movements while you keep teleporting around him. Despite the chaos, you can see the gratitude in his gaze.

“There’s not much inside,” Jean reports. “A few simple security measures, but nothing major. It doesn’t seem like a serious threat.”

“It looks like we’ve got the situation under control,” Charles says, breathing a sigh of relief. Erik nods in agreement.

Within minutes, you’ve overwhelmed the guards and taken control of the facility. No big drama, no powerful energy source—just a poorly guarded facility that was secured with a bit more effort than necessary.

“That’s it?” Logan asks incredulously. “That was the big threat?”

“Sometimes things are easier than expected,” Erik says dryly as he wipes dust from his hands.

Charles gives you a knowing look. “Y/N, I hope you’re satisfied now.”

With a mischievous grin, you teleport quickly between Charles and Erik and wrap your arms around their shoulders. “Satisfied? Oh, you didn’t think I’d stop now, did you?” you whisper telepathically, giving both of them a quick kiss on the cheek. “The mission may be over, but the fun is just beginning.”

Erik shakes his head in amusement, while Charles suppresses a quiet laugh. “I should know better,” he murmurs.

You teleport lightly a few meters away, turn around, and grin mischievously at the two men. “Come on, boys, let’s celebrate!”

As the team secures the facility and makes the final adjustments, you playfully teleport back and forth, stealing kisses and whispering flirtatious comments into the minds of your two lovers. The threat might not have been significant, but the tension you feel between Charles and Erik definitely is.

And in that moment, you know you’ll enjoy the rest of the day with them by your side and your endless teasing that they’ll never truly escape.

[kisu-doodles]

You draw Logan and Scott ‘s physiques so well! Do you use references for drawing muscular physiques or what did you study to get good and make it stylized?

I’ve never found great references to study from but I’m really curious how you practiced and got so good at it?

OMG im so flattered! fr im definitely still learning and im not super confident with my art yet but i'll do my best to answer and maybe it will be helpful!

To answer the first part i always ALWAYS use reference but maybe not in the typical way. Usually i'll try and do the sketch from my mind but im the type who frequently forgets how to draw so i'll usually end up using reference. Typically i have multiple reference categories because 1. it helps avoid just copying others stuff 2. you learn more deeply i find

Here are my typical reference categories

Poses: i tend not to look for poses that look like the character because i think you can get bogged down trying to copy it exactly so for example i'll use a pic with a woman when drawing a man. I also highly recommend using videos if possible you can find alot of great stuff on youtube so for example if im looking for acting reference i'll often watch an always sunny clip (because the i find that the actors have really great hand acting) or for let's say a fight scene ill look up something from an action movie i like, I do this alot because im working on alot of storyboards and animation rn so seeing things frame by frame is very important. In addition i've been studying alot of x men comics because they have some really great fight scenes specifically all new x men. Further note, I usually try to draw the pose by eyeballing it but if im struggling then ill trace over the pic breaking down the forms and then draw it again using the breakdown as a reference (also u dont have to do this but my goodness it helps, is to draw the pose again from memory without looking at the reference I do this alot especially when animating because i want to build a visual library)

STYLE: One of the things which i think is a big hurdle if you're trying to learn anatomy or more specifically how to draw it in a way you find both easy and appealing is just going from irl pics. This is where studying from other artists is essential for me at least because im naked and afraid 99% of the time when it comes to art. So what i'll do is usually breakdown an artist's work that i like down trying to get into their mindset usually; How are they simplfying the form; what shapes are they using and why. I think it's good to micro focus at first so let's say you're finding forearms tricky then just breakdown how the artist draws forearms then draw your version and COMPARE seeing what's different between your version and the artist. Then i might get some irl pics of the subject and im like ok im x artist and i try my best to draw the part in their style, you know kinda imagining how the artist you like distills the same info. I reference a great deal of artists because they all have a great deal of knowledge but also you dont just want to copy one.

ANATOMY: Im the type that usually wants to apply anatomy immediately to what im working on rather than just doing endless drills because it's one thing to draw an arm for example as u usually see in reference which is by the side and completely different when the arm is actually doing something. There are a ton of great resources out there for anatomy but for me at least i think it's important to find references that simplify because again i think building a visual library is best. So for me usually i'll whip out the anatomy reference when im stuck on something and cant remember how to draw it

THE CHARACTER: with some characters like scott i usually dont need a reference but with logan and his silly hair it is essential. since with these two there are so many comics there is a ton of great reference

Further thoughts:

One of the things which i think is super essential at least for me is to try and force yourself to draw from imagination because it's very easy to get stuck in a learning cycle if that makes sense. A nice way to ease yourself into it is to start modifying your pose from the reference so let's say you've drawn the character sitting on a chair now draw it so they're leaning forward or to the side whatever you want! you can also try drawing from a more exaggerated perspective or from a completely different angle! Finally i think it's a great way to loosen up to just doodle poses with no reference just whatever tickles your fancy for this it helps to have a shorthand that you feel you can draw at any angle so even stick figures can work nicely!

i found especially for drawing muscular characters it is best to try cartoony simplification because the anatomy can be quite overwhelming. When i first started to draw logan i used his character sheet from x men evolution and would doodle random poses and then using the model sheet as reference try to put him on model (basically the mindset was what would the animators on the show do) it was really fun and because i had these simple but clear logans adding more detailed anatomy was super easy!

So to elaborate id find lets say a reference of someone eating a salad and then id draw logan in the style of x men evolution eating a salad.

Sorry if this was super rambly i hope it helps!!! i could elaborate if ye require it

[bamfkeeper]

Hey, so i have a few head canons for my oc, Cloudstrike, aka Ethan Grey (also, when I made him, I completely forgot Jean’s name is Jean Grey. Im sorry Jean 😭. So rn it’s just a coincidence, but maybe I’ll change it, or maybe make them distantly related? Idk this is my first oc anyways :p). I submitted him before for a different ask you did (I don’t expect you to remember that ofc tho lol), and he has wind powers, to be able to control wind, turn into a gaseous state, use some lightning, etc.. Also, since X-men ‘97 is what brought me into X-men, a lot of my ideas are based on that universe in the show. So anyways, here’s some head canons I have for him 😊

Sometimes, Ethan likes to turn himself into his gaseous stage and go into the vent system in the mansion, and be shot around the place like a roller coaster. He finds it to be a fun way to pass the time. 😊

Like how Bobby/Iceman can use his ice powers to chill drinks, Ethan can use his powers to chill or heat anything up (though he can’t chill anything quite as good as Bobby). So, the other X-men like to have him around during freezing days for him to be their portable hand warmer lol

He likes to play video games, especially competitive ones, so he hangs out and plays with Jubilee a lot, Roberto too sometimes, but since he’s more inexperienced, they won’t play as competitive of games as to not make Roberto feel as bad 🥺

He loves to cook, and to experiment with unique dishes, so he loves to get recipes from the other X-men; German recipes from Kurt, Cajun from Gambit, and several African recipes from Ororo. 🥘🥧

While Ethan has a bed and sometimes sleeps on it, he prefers to instead sleep while hovering in his gaseous form in his room. He finds the lack of pressure or gravity to be comforting

When he’s goofing around, he’ll sometimes give the person a small static blast (doesn’t hurt, just tingles), which is especially affective against Kurt and Hank because of their fur.

Since he has somewhat similar powers as Storm, she helps him in the danger room to train. They form a bond from their similarities, and even practice fun combos they could do in fights.

He has a small crush on Kurt (because who wouldn’t lol, plus Ethan’s bisexual), but he isn’t acting on anything yet. Though, he can’t help but blush whenever Kurt compliments him 💙

He would consider Jubilee to be his best friend. Also, they bond over being raised for adoption (I changed this one part of his backstory, to where he was abandoned by his original family for unknown reasons, but was adopted by this nice and caring human family who didn’t mind that he was a mutant). In XMTAS, she has foster parents too, so they bond over this. 🥰

He isn’t that keen on Logan atm, as he finds him to be kind of a jerk, but Kurt keeps telling Ethan that Logan is cool if you get to know him, so Ethan’s keeping an open mind. Though, he can’t help occasionally making some jokes at Logan’s expense with Scott.

Ethan has an interest for science and engineering, and sometimes likes to nerd out with Forge (whenever he’s around) and Hank sometimes.

Anyways, that’s my ramble for now. Again, he’s my first oc so I have some things I need to refine and expand on, but this is what I have so far. I’m not even skilled enough if an artist yet to draw what he exactly looks like. Also, I’m completely open to any critiques, ideas for improvement, or other fun ideas that I could incorporate! I hope you enjoyed my rambling 😊

Of course I remember Cloudstrike, I love him!

I think wind powers are super cool. And turning into a gas is super useful! I wish that more mutants who had elemental powers utilized this. I also love how he sleeps in this state for comfort, it makes sense! I love seeing domestic sides of ocs too.

I love his relationships you mentioned! Jubilee and Roberto is a cute trio with Ethan, and cooking with Kurt and Ororo? Sooo sweet.

The shock! Kurt and Hank puff up!! That's so cute. Like rubbing a balloon on them and watching it stick 😂

You know Kurt the flirt is gonna be complimenting Ethan. He'd be so fascinated with his powers and I think he'd ask him a ton of questions about them, especially about when Kurt teleports and he asks Ethan about his brimstone smoke cloud. Can he control it? Does it have a taste? A smell? A feeling?? So many questions.

HA I love how Ethan doesn't really like Logan, he can be kind of an ass at first.

I love all the relationships he has with the team, it really feels like he's part of the group! He's fleshed out really well, and the connections makes him feel more real. He's sweet! Thank you for sharing him with us 💙

[magnoliacharmed]

A Lot to Learn

(GIF credit - jasvvy)

18+, Drew McIntyre x Logan Paul, one-shot

[Also available on Archive of Our Own!]

Tags: Slight age difference, face fucking, anal sex, bruises, come eating

Word count: 2110

Author's Note:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Logan pranced. He pranced and paraded and trounced around backstage like the little boy he was. There was only a ten year age difference between him and Drew, but it felt more like fifteen. He was just so immature— he had no idea what it was like to work his way up to the top. Drew had to claw to the main event, just to have the floor fall out from under him when it was his moment to shine. Logan skipped his way in with his silly social media clout and got the US title bestowed on him like a crown. A crown for a prince that would never truly be a king, a holdover belt to tide his ego over. At least Drew could say there was some prestige to the World Heavyweight Championship. With him earning it, because there was no other option but for him to win, it would gain even more honor. He was a Top Guy, an important figure, something Logan Paul could never be.

“You’re pushing my buttons, kid. I suggest you go find someone else to mess with.”

“No man, I’m doing just fine right here. Am I bothering you?”

Yes.

“You bother me the same way a gnat does. Mild irritation, nothing I can’t handle.”

“Oh?”

Drew shut his eyes and let his hands rest behind his head. Once Elimination Chamber was over, he and Logan would not be anywhere near each other event-wise. He could focus on more important, worthy opponents, men with years of experience that showed in their sore muscles and scratched up bodies. Logan’s chest was disgustingly unblemished. No scars or bruising, no ring burn discoloring his skin. It was soft, it was pretty… it was fresh. It’d been a while since Drew had seen anyone with so much newness about themselves. Apparently no one had gotten to him yet, not even Roman from what the locker room gossip whispered through the grapevine. So Logan was a bit of a princess, wasn’t just letting any knight in the castle. Interesting images began to form in Drew’s mind.

“Don’t you have to go get ready.” Drew hoped the finality in his voice came across to Logan. It seemed to register in his head, only to be immediately tossed out into his mental wastebin. Logan looked down at his silly yellow vest and smiled the smile of someone who knew how annoying he was being. 

“I am ready.”

Drew laughed. Ready, sure. Oh, the boy thought he was. 

—-

Elimination Chamber was a hard fought match. Once again though, Drew did what he did best. He brawled and won as it was meant to be. Even with Randy stalking around, Bobby giving it a fair shake, and LA Knight showing impressive drive to be the best, the other men didn’t stand a chance against Drew. His prophecy was inching closer to being fulfilled, with no help from Logan buzzing around the ring. He spent a good majority of the match taunting him, which Drew thought was quite bold. It was cute, he was like a puppy nipping at his heels for attention. Drew had noticed that was just the way he was, always poking and prodding at bigger men for scraps of acknowledgement. Maybe it was time to give him what he needed so he’d stop being such a fucking nuisance. 

“Great job out there Drew. Hope my dick drawing didn’t distract you too much.” Logan stood at Drew’s door a sweaty, disheveled, slightly pink mess. That worn out, used up look fit him a lot better. 

“Not at all. Nothing was going to get in my way of going to Wrestlemania… not you or your dick, sweetheart.”

A separate, deeper flush than the one that painted his chest colored Logan’s face as he smiled again. It didn’t quite reach his eyes this time due to some sort of anticipation and fear that flashed in his irises. 

“Thinking about my dick, are you Drew? I’m not surprised, I tend to have that effect on people.”

“You’re quite smug for someone who's had everything handed to him.”

Drew was up and approaching Logan before he could run out of the door and back into his hidey-hole of a dressing room. Probably nothing but bottles of Prime and yes men in there waiting to praise Logan for the bare minimum of selling like he was supposed to and not injuring anyone. It made Drew sick. Logan looked down at the knob and felt the cold surface of the door against his back while Drew’s heavy breathing made his chest rise and touch his. Drew had a lot of dark chest hair that Logan suddenly had to urge to rub his face in.

“You’re right, I have been given a lot. I can admit that I always get what I want, as long as I ask for it.” Logan stared up into Drew’s eyes with a pout that immediately made Drew’s cock stiffen up. 

“So you just asked for big matches? For the US Championship?”

“I asked. Triple H and the executives felt like I deserved it. It was a mutual thing.”

Drew’s expression hardened. What a little jerk, throwing his weight around like that. Of course they would let him get high profile events, he had millions of followers. That meant he deserved shots that the other guys who’d started out wrestling in high school gyms for free food would have never bothered to dream of. 

“What are you going to ask for now?”

The skin around Logan’s eyes creased when he laughed. It sounded undone and nervous, no usual unearned confidence making it too loud of a noise.

“You gonna show me more of what’s under that kilt? I think you tried flashing me as a distraction so you could win.”

“I would’ve won whether I did or didn’t flash you.”

Drew removed his kilt and pulled down his trunks in quick succession, exposing himself to Logan without ever looking away from his face. The sides of Logan’s mouth twitched when he saw how perfectly thick Drew’s cock was. It was crazy he wore trunks knowing he was that was big.

“Nice.”

“Hm. You know what you’re gonna do for me, Logan? You’re going to earn what you want tonight. For the first time in your life, you’re going to have to work for your reward. Got it?”

Logan shrugged and decided to throw caution to the wind. He always got what he wanted in the end. It might take a few false starts and pit stops, but it worked out in one way or the other. He rubbed his face into Drew’s chest and inhaled deeply. His post-match sweat was intoxicatingly strong and only served to make Logan rush to get on his knees. Drew rolled his eyes at the way he exaggeratingly crossed his eyes at the length of his dick. Everything was a joke to this kid. 

Logan pulled out his own cock as he took Drew into his warm mouth. The scent of his sweat was amplified twice over that close to his balls and his mass of equally dark pubic hair. Wrapping his hand around himself, he felt precome drip out onto his fingers. Drew was already groaning from the way Logan hollowed out his cheeks around his dick. 

“You’re a pro at this, huh? Been getting your practice in on the other boys?”

“Not yet,” Logan squeezed himself and stroked with a fervor, then continued to suck. 

Drew couldn’t help but to feel like he was going to come thinking about Logan with his mouth open and waiting for Roman or LA Knight or Santos, any one of the guys he’d provoked over the last year or so, to paint his tongue back to back. His hands reached to grab into the weirdly cut strands of Logan’s hair so he could push his dick past his tongue and down into his throat. Surprisingly he took it well with no tears spilling out or teeth scraping the sensitive skin. Drew closed his eyes and shoved Logan’s head completely against himself, letting the boy gag around him until he slapped a hand against his thigh to let him breathe. Although he felt like he’d die from the loss of sensation and wet, pretty noises, Drew slowly removed himself from Logan’s mouth. 

“I was just about to come too, fuck.” Logan poked his bottom lip out petulantly. 

“You’ll be happy you didn’t.”

Logan was pulled up off of his knees only to be dragged over to the nearest couch. Drew took his time and got comfortable when sat down on it, spreading his legs wide open and letting his cock bob in the air. 

“Come on, take those off and come sit in my lap,” Drew patted at his upper thighs, also covered in hair, and winked at Logan. He wasn’t done with him yet, not by a long shot. From the speed in which Logan stripped down, he knew he wasn't done either. 

Drew picked up a bottle of lube from the side table and squeezed a generous amount into his hand to smooth across his dick. All of Logan’s thoughts, what few he had in the first place, left the building when he sank down onto Drew in one swift movement. Drew’s eyes widened in surprise; he didn’t know Logan was that capable. 

“Aren’t you a good boy?” 

Drew began to fuck up into Logan before he could respond. His face slackened up in ecstasy with every thrust inside of him. Logan attempted to ride back against him, but his aching legs betrayed him by shaking. Not only was he being fucked harder than he’d ever been, the chamber match had done a number on him too. Maybe Drew and the others thought he was just there to bring fresh eyes to the program, but he really was trying his hardest in the ring. Just as soon as he was ready to give up and let himself enjoy it all, Drew pressed his fingers harshly into the flesh of his hips. The sudden pain gave him a jolt that motivated him to grind deep and huff out shallowly. 

“There you go. I knew you’d like that, baby,” Drew smoothed over the marks he’d left deep in Logan’s skin. It was a good thing he wore tights instead of trunks, or else the top brass would have his head for leaving their golden boy all ruined. Logan responded with a steadying breath that turned into a destroyed moan when Drew grabbed at his twitching cock. Gasps fell from Logan’s mouth every time Drew stroked him with his rough palm while he plunged himself as far as he could go inside of him. 

“Please Drew, please—“

Drew watched as Logan’s body shuddered hard while he came. It leaked out messily onto his hand, Logan bucking up into his fist involuntarily from the orgasm. His vision cleared up enough to see Drew holding up said hand to his lips for him to clean up. With the first couple of licks, Drew once again sank his fingers back into the bruises on Logan’s hip to lift him up off of his dick. Seconds later, he felt the warmth of Drew’s come splash across his ass and the very bottom of his lower back. 

“Really got me good here,” Logan ran the pads of his fingers against his reddish-purple bruises and bit back a moan. 

“Wanted to leave a little something behind. Now you’ve got some scars, something that proves you can take a little pain. It looks like you like having them, too, which is an even better sign. It means you’re finally on your way to becoming a worthy competitor. Maybe one day you’ll face me for the title.”

Drew’s smile was patronizingly sweet as he ruffled up Logan's stupid haircut further. Logan was still a young man. It’d take a lot of hard work and practice, not necessarily with Drew alone, to really turn him into the best he could be. 

“Yeah, maybe so.”

“Until then, you come find me or any of the other guys and we’ll try to help you, okay?”

Logan nodded as he put his gear back on in a daze, not even bothering to clean himself up. 

“We won’t break you— not too badly anyways.”

Logan let a weird smile spread across his face when he reached the doorway. It was huge, all teeth and kind of crazy with the corresponding way his pupils blew out and let the blue that surrounded them turn into little slivers..

“What if I wanna be broken?” 

[martianbugsbunny]

Guilt (It's Gonna Last Forever)—A Scogan Fic

*sashays in wearing yellow spandex and blue sparkles* haha remember in that other fic when Logan was mortally dreading the idea of accidentally stabbing Scott in his sleep? well I just can't leave well enough alone so I made a fic out of that. You can view it as a sequel or you can read it as a standalone, it's good either way. It also does not have a conclusive ending, so you have to either let Scott die or be saved in your own brain (unless I do a sequel at some point).

Read on and enjoy!

Logan ran down the concrete hall, barefoot, barely feeling the cold against the absolute agony and rage that bubbled up from his marrow and strained against the brand-new adamantium coverings of his bones, nowhere to go to escape—and he wasn’t sure he wanted it to. No, Logan held that rage in his core, letting it burn him up from the inside because he knew the only people it could hurt were outside of his body.

When his claws extended from between his fingers at the first sound of approaching footsteps, Logan was caught off guard by their new silvery sheen. The things protruding from his body weren’t his.

Terror began to climb up the scaffolding of anger. The fingers of one hand scrabbled at the back of the other, as though Logan could rip the claws out and start over with the bone that did belong to him, shaking.

And then he caught…the scent of blood.

He hadn’t hurt anyone yet.

“Logan!”

He woke to a voice crying his name, sounding strangled and stunned and…betrayed.

Oh, no.

Logan pulled his claws out of Scott’s gut, instantly drawing them back into his hands, a fear worse than the remembered terror of his dream crawling up his throat. The damage had already been done; the soft flesh of Scott’s stomach had dissected easily beneath sharpened adamantium, and blood was beginning a slow ooze from the six distinctive wounds.

Scott clutched at Logan’s forearms, his breathing coming in harsh, shallow bursts as he began to comprehend exactly what had happened to him. No, not what had happened—what Logan had done.

“I’m so sorry.” The words weren’t enough; Logan knew they weren’t enough. His voice was cracked. The smell of Scott’s blood was seeping into Logan’s brain, and his blood smelled exactly like any other blood. For some reason that seemed unfair. He meant more to Logan than anyone alive; surely he should be able to sense some tiny difference—but no, it was just hot and red and full of iron, thick and sluggish as it seeped from Scott’s body and pulled his life away with it.

“Scott, you have to hold on,” he said urgently, shaking Scott a little. “Don’t let go of me.”

His response was weak. His grip on Logan’s arms had been going slack, but he tightened his fingertips just a bit, trying pathetically to dig into the skin and follow Logan’s command.

“Somebody help!” Logan yelled, his mind beginning to flick back to the last time he’d been responsible for something like this. Then, he’d hurt a person who could steal his healing powers for herself; now, he’d hurt a person who was utterly incapable of helping himself to heal. “Damnit, I need help!”

The seconds seemed to tick by as moments. Logan felt Scott’s fingers start to shake, his palms turning clammy, sweat pooling between his skin and Logan’s, but he didn’t let go. Logan clutched Scott close, as though by pressing their bodies together he could staunch the blood or force it back into Scott’s veins.

Finally (how long had it been? minutes? an hour? it was too dark and everything was too much to tell) the door burst open and Storm dashed in, stopping just over the threshold when she saw what was going on. Moments later, in a cloud of dark smoke, Kurt appeared beside her, his yellow eyes full of a compassion Logan didn’t feel he deserved.

Then Kurt’s arms were around Scott, and they both disappeared, leaving Logan sitting there helpless on the bed with his tank top bloodstained and his heart pounding so hard his chest hurt, tears stinging his eyes.

“I didn’t know,” he said, half to Storm and half to himself. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

[kytiapseud]

Gaze, Chapter 7

Chapter list

Pairing: Roman/Logan/Virgil

wordcount: 3566

warnings: violence

Notes: A Role Reversal inspired by @edupunkn00b 's work 'Beside Me'. Let me know if you think I should add a tag list for this series, or if anyone is interested.

Roman couldn’t believe that just happened. Logan was trying to soothe him and reassure him they were almost there, but it wasn’t working yet. He had just seen his brother, who he wasn’t sure if he would see again. And he attacked him. He felt so sick at the lack of control. Roman had done all this for him! Yet this ended up putting Remus in danger. His plan had backfired immensely. 

Logan was still holding Roman’s arm as they got to the club. Virgil opened the door for them before joining them inside. The experience of entering the club was very different from the first time. Every sensation around him was heightened now. The great scents of need, want, and blood surrounded him, pushing in. He staggered from the overwhelming stimuli.

Logan stepped closer to Roman and adjusted his hold so he now had a strong arm wrapped around Roman’s waist. Still firm, but also grounding. Logan rubbed his thumb in little circles on Roman’s side.

Logan murmured next to his ear. “Just hang on and breath. You’re safe here, alright? All you need to do right now is breathe.” He met Roman’s eyes, nodding slowly. 

Yeah, focusing on Logan seemed to be helping. Roman nodded back, copying his slower breathing, which made Logan smile.

“That’s it, my Prince, just breathe.” Patton walked around the bar to greet them. 

“Welcome on in, everyone!” He smiled, giving Virgil and Roman a little bow. Then he clasped hands with Logan, shaking his free hand with both of his.

“Logan, you look well,” He said quietly as he leaned in, glancing at Virgil.

Logan frowned briefly, “Yes, I am well, thank you.”

Patton turned to Virgil. “Vee? It’s good to see you again.” Virgil smiled, swaying to the music. Even through his haze of hunger, Roman noticed that Patton was careful not to look Virgil in the eyes. Come to think of it, Roman wasn’t feeling the same draw to Patton that he got from some of the other people in the club.  Patton is a vampire, too, Roman thought. Patton turned, smiling at Roman, looking him in the eyes.  “Hi there, I’m Patton! We haven’t met formally.”

Logan tightened his grip on Roman’s waist. “This is Roman.” Patton raised an eyebrow and gave Logan a searching look. Logan looked away.

“We need a booth, please.”

Patton smiled broadly. “Of course, I’m happy you came. All of you. There’s a nice booth in the back.” He started to walk back into the club with a skip to his step. He waved them to follow. “C’mon, I’ll show you.”

Logan kept a grip on Roman as they walked past other tables and along the edge of the dance floor. At each table, conversations stilled. Both vampiric and human eyes followed them. Roman caught some snippets of whispers ‘…Logan sired…’, ‘…is he…?’, ‘don’t believe it…’, ‘…Logan really…?’ It certainly wasn’t the first time he’d been connected to the source of whispers. Let alone experiencing how all eyes were in his direction, but everyone was looking just past him. While there was some relief at not being the main topic, he still felt just as torn about who it was towards.  

Patton gestured to a circular booth and they slid into their seats, Logan in the middle, facing out. Virgil sat on his right, and Roman to Logan’s left. Patton smiled again.  “I’ll go get some drinks for ya.” Logan nodded a silent thanks.

“Patton choose this booth for us because it's close to the air vent, bringing in fresh air from outside.” Logan placed a calming hand on Roman’s thigh. 

Roman had started to observe several couples on the dance floor, swaying to the music. Roman dragged his attention away. He sucked in a breath and tried to listen to Logan.

“Soon, Roman, soon.” 

Virgil hesitantly leaned on Logan’s other shoulder. His brow furrowed and lips parted as he watched Roman’s shaking hands.

Patton appeared with two bottles gripped in one hand and three glasses balanced in the other. With a flourish, he leaned across the table, setting out their glasses. He poured whiskey into Logan’s glass. Then he held the two bottles out before Roman. Roman pointed to the juice bottle. Patton nodded and  filled the other two glasses with juice.  Roman drained half his glass in one gulp. 

“So…” Patton grinned, “It seems the rumor is true.”

Logan sipped at his whiskey while Virgil leaned against him. He rocked to the music and still stared at Roman’s hands. Roman blinked, glancing between Logan and Patton. “What rumor?”

“I saw you here, recently. And it was the last time Logan was in here too. You left with Yann.” Roman swallowed, looking down at the glass in his hands. “Rumor has it that Yann was caught hurting a mortal and Logan’s hunter friends took care of him.”

Logan voice went low. “There are certain lines we do not allow to be crossed in this city. Taking what isn’t willingly offered is one of them.”  Patton nodded as he topped off their drinks. “It was an important reminder.”

Patton looked closely at Virgil. “How are you, Vee?”

Virgil looked away from Roman, eyes unfocused as he wrapped his arms tighter around Logan’s bicep. “I feel great, Patton. It’s a beautiful evening.” Logan leaned over, kissing the top of his head. He lifted his silvery eyes to Patton, nodding. 

“So you’re only here for…” Patton tilted his chin towards Roman. 

Logan nodded once. “Who’s around tonight?” Patton tilted his head, looking closely at Roman. Under the scrutiny, he became acutely aware of how much his hands were trembling. He tried to control his panting. Despite his attempt at restraint, his eyes still darted around the club. Frequently coming back to rest on Virgil. Patton squinted at him before finally humming. 

“I know just the right person,” He said.

Logan nodded. “I expected as much.” He did glance to Virgil though.  Roman was starting to shake so badly that he could no longer hold his glass. Logan reached out a calming hand to stroke the back of Roman’s neck.

“I’ll go get him,” Patton said before gliding away. 

When Patton had left, Roman leaned closer to Logan, fighting to ignore the fire in his chest. He sought any distraction he could find. “What did he mean, your ‘Hunter friends?’” Logan continued to gently massage the back of Roman’s neck. Roman leaned into the touch, the sensation grounding him. 

“Ah, well some hunters are aware that I can be trusted.” 

“And how do you show this?” Roman asked.

“I direct them to vampires that have become too dangerous. My intel pans out and my record of not harming innocents speaks for itself.” 

Logan drew Roman closer, kissing the side of his head. His voice got low in pitch as he said, “I told you he would pay for what he did to you.” Roman shivered a bit at the voice. 

“Well, there is something I’m grateful for because of him.” Logan frowned in confusion. He opened his mouth to comment, when Roman cupped Logan’s cheek in one shaking hand, meeting his eyes. Logan’s sharp expression softened and he leaned into Roman’s hand.

“Because of him, I was able to meet you.” He shifted his eyes briefly in Virgil’s direction.

“You either, Virgil.”

Patton returned to the table with another. The man was a similar size and build to Patton, skinny but not too much. Maybe average height. He stood out more with his magenta hair though,  and also wore glasses. The man wore a tan sweater over a white undershirt that was visible through the v in the neck. Some of the sweater buttons were undone though, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. Probably from the heat. At the collar of the white undershirt was a pink tie, but it was undone and hanging off either side.

Virgil frowned when he saw the man, glancing at Logan and Roman, nearly catching his eye. Roman quickly looked away. He remembered Logan’s words earlier about not realizing how quickly a thrall could start.

“Logan, Virgil, I’m sure you remember my friend Emile.” Patton turned to Roman. “This is my friend Emile. He’s anxious to get to know you, Roman.”  Emile smiled and presented his hand to Roman. To shake, kiss…or bite, Roman wasn’t sure. He also wasn’t sure he wouldn’t do all three if he touched him.

“Hiya! It’s so nice to meet you,” Emile said. He put his hand down but moved closer. “May I join you?”  Roman’s mouth fell open and Logan intoned, “Thank you, Patton, for the introduction.” Patton lingered for a moment, then he nodded before leaving. 

“Please sit down, Emile, next to me,” Logan nodded at Roman, and Roman stood. He eased back and gave Emile a wide berth before following him. Then he slid back into the booth with Emile seated between him and Logan. A scowling Virgil on Logan’s other side. Roman looked at Virgil, eyebrows knit together. Logan noticed Roman’s expression as well. He drew Virgil closer to him, wrapping his arm around him and letting his hand trail down to his waist. Virgil melted into the embrace, scowl softening. 

Virgil kept his sharp eyes trained on Emile, though, even as he sipped at his own drink.

“I’m so glad to be able to help you guys out again,” Emile said then shivered a bit in anticipation. He coughed. Then he stretched in his seat, tilting his head from side to side. 

“I’d be happy to help take care of both of you tonight. Although since it’s been a while, I’ll need a breather in between.”

Virgil frowned even more. There was fire in his eyes as he started to lean forward as though to speak. But Logan touched his cheek, smiling gently at him. Virgil leaned back against Logan’s shoulder, but continued to glare at Emile. Emile frowned a bit at Virgil’s response but didn’t say anything.

“That won’t be necessary, Emile. You’re only here for our friend Roman tonight,” Logan said. Emile hummed, glancing over all of them before nodding.

“Alright.”  He started reaching for Roman’s glass.

“May I?” he asked Roman with a smile.  Roman nodded, afraid to speak. Afraid to open his mouth, or let his lips part because once they did all he wanted to do was grab this man and- Emile took a sip of Roman’s juice, letting his eyes flutter closer. Licking his lips when he’d finished.

“It’s okay if you’re feeling shy, hunny.” Emile slid a little closer. He smiled again and let out a little giggle.

“I don’t mind some bite.” He tilted his head, exposing the long line of his neck. “That’s why I’m here.” Roman trembled with the effort not to pull him in his lap and sink his teeth into that luscious skin. 

“Shhh” Emile looked at him coyly as he trailed his fingers down Roman’s chest, whispering, “You’re okay to take what you need. Please…I want you to.”

Roman growled and pulled Emile toward him, piercing his soft, warm skin with his teeth. He drank, losing all awareness of anything that wasn’t the taste of Emile.

The passage of time felt murky as he sat with his head leaning back on the upper edge of the booth. Emile was on his knees next to him, waving a hand in front of his face. 

“Are you alright, hun?” He wiped a bit of blood from the corner of his mouth, offering his thumb to lick it clean. When Roman still doesn’t respond to that, Emile bites his lip, watching the dazed expression on his face. He turned to Logan, who was observing their every movement. Emile looked closer at Roman, “Oh, I really am your first human, hm?... well I’m happy to offer again when you’re up for it.”

“Pretty sure he’s done now,” Virgil said in a low voice to Emile. 

Emile frowned. “Oh, okay. Of course I wouldn’t want to push. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be part of any drama.”

Logan shook his head.  “Don’t worry, Emile. You’re fine. It is what you think.”

Emile relaxed at that. “Okay, good. Well, you know I’m always eager to assist.”  Emile pecked Logan’s cheek and then Roman’s. He swung one leg over Roman’s lap, climbing over him. He pressed his body into his chest. He slowly sliding over him to get out of the booth. The unbitten side of his neck happening to pass towards Roman’s open mouth as he did so. He blew a kiss to all three of them. 

“Well, this was fun as always.” He gently patted Roman’s slack cheek. “Take care, hun.”

Virgil watched him slip away for a moment before turning his gaze back to Roman. Logan had drawn Roman near, closing the distance between them again. He pulled Roman against his side, letting him rest his head against his shoulder. Logan then brought his hand into Roman’s curls to gently massage his scalp. Virgil leaned against Logan, watching. He whispered to Logan, “Is he…alright?”

Logan hummed and nodded, “Roman will be fine. He just needs a few minutes.” Looking unconvinced, Virgil sipped at his drink, keeping watch over the two of them.

Before the song ended, Roman’s eyes grew more focused and he sat up. 

“Welcome back,” Logan murmured, “How do you feel?” Roman took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He was still very aware of every human in the room. Especially Virgil, and now Emile having tasted his blood so recently. But it was more of a gentle buzzing that he could push off, less the screaming alarm demanding his attention.

“Better. I can think again.” 

Logan sighed and nodded. “Apologies, I thought I had the situation handled. Emile is quite experienced. Typically he has no problem pulling away if he senses something is wrong, although-“   Roman frowned before turning his head to glance at Logan. He grabbed Logan’s hand and kissed his knuckles.

“Hey, it’s okay. Not your fault. This was new for all of us.” 

“Has Emile been a vampire’s first human before?” Virgil asked. Logan and Roman both looked to him at that question. 

“I would presume so,” Logan said. Virgil hummed with a frown but didn’t say anything else. 

“Well either way, even if that wasn’t  the case, everyone is still alright,” Roman said. Logan sighed and nodded.

“I suppose you have a point there.” Virgil didn’t seem convinced.

Roman raised an eyebrow and playfully smirked. “You suppose?”

Logan rolled his eyes but he was smiling. “Alright, yes I concede.”

Roman raised a fist in the air. “Yeah!”

Virgil snorted, Roman’s silliness apparently helping his mood. Logan played exasperation, but the smile showed his own amusement as well.  Roman smirked and winked at Virgil. Causing Virgil to sputter and blush. Roman looked pleased with himself at the reaction. He looked around the club.

“So…what now?”

“Hm,” Logan considered. “Lets have Vee decide.” He gently lifted Virgil’s chin, “What would you like to do?” 

Virgil looked around the dance floor, and then shyly back up at Logan. “Can we dance?” Logan lifted Virgil’s hand to his mouth, kissing it twice. “What a wonderful way to end the evening.”

Roman slid out and stood up while the other two got out the other side. But then he paused. Was that for all three of them?  But then Virgil turned to him. 

“Aren’t you joining us?” Virgil asked with a half smirk. He stepped towards Roman and grabbed his hand. 

“I…I wasn’t sure…” Roman stammered. Virgil snorted. 

“Don’t be too much like me, Princey. Just come on.”

Virgil met his eyes. Roman nodded, deciding he wanted to go with the fluttering in his chest, a smile spreading on his face. -

A few hours later, the three waved goodnight to Patton. Roman sighed in content after enjoying himself like that. He nearly forgot about the incident that followed that day. Before they had entered the club. As it came back to him, Roman frowned though. 

“Hey, Logan…Remus probably isn’t in that same spot anymore, is he?” Roman asked. Logan turned to him. 

“…I would imagine not, no.”  Roman would forever hate how poor the timing had been on their encounter earlier. 

“We can always still look for him when we get to that spot again though,” Logan said. Roman looked back at him. He was pretty sure Logan didn’t actually think that would be fruitful. But he appreciated the sentiment anyways.

“Okay,” Roman said quietly. 

“…that was your brother, wasn’t it?” Virgil asked. Roman nodded. He didn’t even feel like sassing how that wasn’t obvious.

They were only a few feet from the bar’s exit though when a tall man suddenly blocked the sidewalk. He wore a black overcoat and military surplus pants covered in tactical gear. He also had a scar that cut across the entire left side of his face. His nearly gold eyes bored into them. Roman felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end as Logan stepped between them. 

Virgil gasped, then whispered in Roman’s ear. “A hunter.” 

Roman stepped forward to be next to Logan, shoulder-to-shoulder, shielding Virgil.

“I thought the hunters around here were your friends,” he murmured to Logan.

“What? Where would you ever get such an idea like that?” The hunter asked in faux surprise, voice dripping with obvious sarcasm. Then he dropped the act and smirked.

“Hmm, there are a few Judas types in the hunter community,” He said. He got out a stake and acted like he was cleaning his nails with it…like he didn’t obviously have yellow gloves in the way. 

“Personally, I’m with those who wouldn’t take the word of a bloodsucker.”

Virgil snarled at him. “Shouldn’t you keep your little pet on a leash, L?”

“Don’t call him that,” Logan’s voice came out in a growl.

The hunter spun his stake and pointed it at them. Roman reacted immediately. He grabbed the Hunter’s wrist and twisted, making him drop the stake. Then he pushed him against the rough brick wall. He kicked at the Hunter’s knee and they folded. He fell to the ground for a moment before leaping back up with a roar. He grabbed Roman’s throat and slammed him into the bricks.

Slightly dazed with liquid dripping from his scalp, Roman pushed off the wall. Then he stomped on the hunter’s foot. He punched and kicked until the hunter was on the ground, motionless. Logan picked up Virgil, carrying him over his shoulder as though he was weightless. Then he grabbed Roman’s hand and they ran.  -

Remus should have known something was up. Egos said he had something to take care of tonight/ Remus didn’t want to start the werewolf transformation without him so he waited . It may not be a good idea to go after someone while he was still like this, but Remus didn’t always make the best decisions. He went back the path Egos had taken him through when he brought him to the house that the pack members stayed in. Then he made his way back towards the club, following a gut feeling. Egos was acting strange to Remus when he asked about what he had to take care of.  

Could this be his paranoia? Maybe. But he guessed it made sense with what happened with his brother earlier. When he got within a few blocks of the club, he was glad he had followed his gut. Egos laid on the ground, unconscious. He did not look good.

“No!” Remus ran towards him and knelt by his new friend. He resisted the urge to try and shake them awake. What had happened? Was it a vampire attack?...did he go after vampires unprovoked? Remus didn’t want to doubt Egos, but trust didn’t come easy to him. He could figure that out later. Okay, try to look over where injuries might be. He inspected Egos.

Definitely head for him to be unconscious, surely. With how much coverage Egos wore, it would be hard to tell. Well, he still needed help. Hospital? Remus hated hospitals. He wasn’t sure how they could help a werewolf anyways. So, get help from the pack then. He felt over Janus, trying to find where a phone could be. (and trying to ignore how his thoughts wanted to turn the motions sexual). After finding the phone and pulling it out, he discovered it was of course locked. Remus groaned. He should have gotten other contact information before leaving the pack house. 

“Guess I’m carrying you,” Remus said. He would somehow have to find a way to do so…and without looking suspicious. 

Remus carefully put his arms under Egos to lift him up in a princess carry.

Remus may not know what caused this altercation. But the truth was this man had still offered Remus a chance at a second life. A way to no longer deal with the voices that constantly ruined his life. He wanted to help the person who gave Remus this chance. He could deal with any complicated stuff later.  

He really hoped this would turn out alright though. 

[ewzzy]

I was reminded that the 1993 Topps Marvel trading cards had Unsolved Mysteries of the Marvel Universe and I just had to check if we've solved them in the intervening 30 years.

Starting off we’ve got the longest running mystery, but as with all of these the big question is “what were you hoping to find out?” We’ve seen Doom’s unscarred face in flashbacks and healed in the 1980s Secret Wars, but it was only in 2015’s reimagining of Secret Wars that we see what really lives under the mask. It’s nasty! A real “dead dove do not eat” moment.

This one I’m surprised was a mystery since it’s so well known now. When Cable first showed up he was a warrior from the future, but it wasn’t until 1994’s The Adventures of Cyclops and Phoenix that it was revealed that he was the time traveling son of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. Well, kinda... you see he’s actually the son of Scott and Jean’s clone Madeline and… go ask Jay and Miles if you want the X-Men X-Plained.

This is the one that got me started on this mess. Darkhawk wasn’t a huge character so this sort of went unresolved but also who cared? Basically when Chris Powell turns into Darkhawk his whole body is replaced by a drone robot from these space hawk warriors. Turns out the whole thing that freaked him out was that underneath the helmet it revealed that he wasn’t even human in that form. And yet, as far as I know we’ve never got a clear look at what he saw.

Hoo boy was this a mystery in 1993? So for background in 1990 we got Danny Ketch as the new Ghost Rider. He was more chains and leather than Johnny Blaze, the Evel Knievel-esque original. The mystery in question is “where did he get his powers and are they from the same demon Zarathos as the original?" After spending time too many wiki pages, I can now say that Danny was revealed to be Johnny Blaze’s secret brother and not powered by Zarathos. Looks like Danny at some point swapped his bike for a buster sword and started calling himself Death Rider. lol

This one is easy! It’s Thanos! Thanos is the sixth member! It got revealed in The Warlock Chronicles during Infinity Crusade. This mystery didn’t make it out of 1993.

Oh hey it’s my least favorite Spider-Man topic! That his parents were killed by the fake communist Red Skull is pointless at best. That they were seemingly brought back only to be revealed as Spider-Slayer robots is somehow worse. That whole mess got resolved in 1994 as a plot from The Chameleon. It’s right before the Clone Saga. Ugh!

This one is a case of dragging it out so long that no answer would be good enough. In 2001’s “Origin” we finally found out that Logan’s real name is James Howlett and he was born in late-19th-century Canada. The Logan name comes from James’ maybereal father from an affair and definite first bone claw stabbing victim Thomas Logan. This is all fine but I 100% of the time confuse “James Howlett” with “Jamie Hewlett” the artist who draws The Gorillaz.

A major thread in 90s X-Men was that Bishop came from a future where an X-Man had betrayed the team and ruined the future. He was pretty suspicious of Gambit in particular and there were hints based on this guy named The Witness that seemed to be Gambit from the future. All that got dropped when Charles Xavier became Onslaught and turned on everyone. Bishop even kind of got to save the day in that story. I guess it all worked out.

It’s our final X-Men mystery and the answer lies in one of the worst received X-Men stories of ALL-TIME! So your first thought should be “he’s a mutant what do you mean origin?” Okay, so starting in 1981 there were hints that Mystique was Nightcrawler’s mom. That started because people say they look the same. That’s a pretty wild thing to say since she has blue skin and he has blue fur and also she’s a shapeshifter so the idea of her real form is iffy at best. Well, it turns out Claremont wanted Mystique to have shapeshifted into a fella and been the father not the mother. Biologically speaking. He didn’t get to write that story, so instead Chuck Austen wrote The Draco…

I can’t believe this is going to a 2nd paragraph but here goes. Mystique in disguise as the wife of a German baron named Christian Wagner, but got pregnant by a mysterious Herr Azazel. The kid comes out blue and her charade is exposed. Flash forward to present day and Nightcrawler is investigating Isla des Demonas and he finally meets dear old dad. Azazel reveals himself to be a literal satan from the Brimstone Dimension. This very nearly broke Nightcrawler’s whole character. Instead of a kind man who is hated because of his appearance, he is a literal son of a demon. Don’t get me started on the woman who adopted Kurt. She’s green and has horns.

That's all the mysteries! If you think I got something wrong about X-Men then yes you're probably right. If there's a secret Darkhawk reveal I couldn't find them please please share it.

[flock-of-cassowaries]

I’m having a deep think right now about the overlaps and the differences between the appeal of fascism, and that of libertarianism.

On one level, this is because I am writing a Sucession fanfic, and trying to get into Roman’s head.

But on another level only reason I’m even writing Succession fanfiction is that I identify with Roman, and that is in large part because he is a queer person who is philosophically in the thrall of his terrifying conservative father, whose love he desperately craves.

And once upon a time, that used to be me. And I feel deep and abiding shame about that.

(Not the sexy kind of shame. The devastating kind.)

But as I delve into philosophical discussions of fascism and conservatism (and honestly, I have not yet delved the deeply), I’m starting to realize that maybe I have less in common with Roman, and more with Connor (if we leave out his weird S3 white-nationalism dog whistles about the evils of onanism).

I’m basing a lot of this on the first chapter – which is all I have read so far - of “The Reactionary Mind” by Corey Robin; which I came upon via the source list for the linked YouTube video.

[link to “Endnote 2: White Fascism” by Innuendo Studios, on YouTube.]

Robin (if I’m understanding him correctly) posits that the end goal of conservatism is fundamentally Fishstick fascistic, and that the real animus driving political conservative movements is always the desire of the privileged to remain above those the existing social order oppresses.

I have certainly voted for, and carried water for, conservatives (a fact of which I am, again, deeply ashamed), but I don’t think that was ever the real appeal for me.

I’m not saying I didn’t internalize beliefs that were (I now realize) racist, classist, ableist, and elitist; but I don’t think that was ever the main draw, so much as a side effect of reading the goddamn National Post every fucking day

But for me, I think the main appeal of conservatism was the illusory promise of total self-sufficiency, and of being impossible to further hurt. It was the libertarian lie, bound up in the same nihilistic appeal as the Nine Inch Nails song whose hook is “Nothing can stop me now, cause I don’t care anymore.” (‘Piggy’ is the song.)

In this respect, I think I had more in common with Connor; I was also the discarded child who grew up to think of themself as “a flower that grows on rocks and feeds on the insect that land inside of it.”

Honestly, that soliloquy (from S4E2) could’ve been me at thirteen.

I felt rejected and shunned by the world, but I was also rapidly becoming aware that I could use my looks and intelligence as currency (just a Connor uses his literal currency as currency).

It was only when I was 21, and ended a long relationship, and found myself with no one to turn to, and no idea who I was, that my father swooped in to be my new best friend; and that’s when I became more Roman-like in my fawning attempts to appeal to him.

But I think Roman truly believes that his father is better than him, whereas a much more significant part of me always knew my own dad was a false prophet.

I think the world reaffirmed this belief in Roman, because his father has been so successful, and I think his father, concerned with legacy, has been much more active in fostering this mythology than my own father was.

(My dad would tend to just willfully ignore that l existed for several years at a stretch, if I was acting too cringe [i.e. not stereotypically conservative-lady feminine enough] for his conservative sensibilities; something I am assuming that Shiv could probably relate to.

The scene where Logan tells her he wants her back in the fold was very similar to what my father did with me when I was 21, and I glowed just the same way she did.)

But yeah, I think an internalized belief on Roman’s part that his father truly is better than him, and a desire to “be as good” as his father in order to redeem himself and overcome this inadequacy in his person, really feeds into Roman’s affinity for fascism / conservatism.

And I think that belief structure is with him in that bathroom with Mencken, unacknowledged and subconscious, and even more insidious than his conscious priorities of wanting to win points with Logan, and maaaaaybe wanting to be pushed to his knees and have a fascist phallus (a fascllus? I’m going to hell) thrust upon him.

Anyway, if anyone ever reads this, feel free to suggest some books / essays / videos to my reading list.

So far, in addition to the above-mentioned Cory Robbins tome, I am planning to actually finish “The Ur-Fascist” by Umberto Ecco, and to at least dip into “The Dialectic of Enlightenment” by Horkheimer and Adorno, and “The Authoritarian Personality” by Adorno.

[itsatechreel]

Corrupt Clues (A Sanders Sides x Blue’s Clues AU)

Last night I, inspired by a friend, decided to do something random I never have before and invent an AU (alternate universe) mixing two of my favorite series, Sanders Sides & Blue’s Clues 🐾

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Brief Summary: With stress reaching an all time high, Thomas gets Roman’s help in order to transform his daily life and the Sides themselves to fit the format of a comfort show from his childhood: Blue’s Clues. Is this a good idea? Is every side on board and comfortable with these changes? Will Thomas ever allow this to stop?

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It’s a silly AU, but I’m weirdly very happy with it, and if nothing else it was a very fun writing excercise 😅 And if you read through it and decide you want to make something based on it, then go for it! Whether it’s fanart or a short story/full fanfic or any other piece of media based on this AU, I’d love to see it! All I ask is to be credited and also tagged so I could see any creations 💙

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👇 Click through to read more specific details about this AU 👇

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Lately, the stress has been hitting Thomas more so than ever. Days are long, motivation is low, anxiety is high, etc. One day Thomas decided he’s had enough and something needs to change. He goes to Roman, begging him to provide some fun and fantastical change to his routine, something that can distract him from the darkness of the world. Roman thinks about this and devises a plan, and the next day Thomas’ life is transformed to fit that of a show he once found great comfort in: Blue’s Clues. All the sides awake that morning to find that their forms (with one exception) have been changed to fit this new vision.

🌈 Thomas takes on the role of Steve/Joe/Josh. He can now spend his days doing little else but singing and dancing, drawing, playing games, eating snacks, and helping his friends with very simple tasks. And of course now he can enjoy the stress-free activity of playing Blue’s Clues with his own version of Blue. He’s absolutely ecstatic about the changes that Roman brought on, ready to fully indulge in a seemingly ideal yet childish life of acting out his days as extended episodes of the show.

💙 Patton finds himself as Blue, and is very happy about it. He’s still able to talk as normal despite the new puppy form, but Thomas tends to prefer he barks like Blue to keep up the illusion (which Patton often forgets and is corrected on regularly). Games of Blue’s Clues are started up a few times a day, at least one time each day dedicated to wanting some form of cookie. There’s never a doubt in his mind that this is the best thing for Thomas, although that could just be because he’s having too good a time to see any potential issues.

👓 Logan is forced into the role of the child audience of the show, mainly due to Roman expecting that he wouldn’t participate at all if he was made to look silly. He decides to participate as, even though he knows Thomas hiding from his issues may prove to be worse for his mental health, he figures he won’t be listened to if he protests. Hoping in time that Thomas will realize the errors of this decision, he reluctantly follows Thomas in his adventures. He consistently questions the illogical nature of Thomas asking such simple questions he would normally know the answers to, or where clues are that he should plainly see, and even the notion that Patton leaves clues at all when he could simply tell Thomas what he wants. It’s all very confusing and very patronizing to Logan, but he does his best to indulge Thomas, for now.

🛡️ Roman decides to make himself the fabulous Rainbow Puppy, as he feels it’s the only character that could truly embody all that he is. A character that constantly sings and performs is a perfect fit for him and he fully plays the part (which truly isn’t much different from how he existed before this change). He occasionally finds himself jealous and wishing to switch roles with Patton, as Blue is a more important character to this new daily narrative by far, but he does his best to let Patton keep his well-fitting role. He, like both Thomas and Patton, see absolutely no issue with this new way of existing. Roman is plenty content to keep it going as long as Thomas desires.

🌩️ Virgil has been cast as Tickety, given that Roman felt that someone who experiences a great deal of alarm should be the alarm clock. He’s definitely one of the least interested in this new way of life, less regarding how it avoids the real issues and more because he doesn’t fit the kids show vibe. He hates being a small silly clock, the constant sound of ticking coming from his own face, and the fact that he can’t get too anxious without setting off his loud bells that manage to scare himself every time. On the other hand though, he recognizes that life was very stressful and while being a clock is obnoxious it is a bit easier. There's a lot of bouncing back and forth between whether this is worth it to avoid the stresses of reality, or if Thomas and the others are slowly losing their sanity as they continue to pretend like this life can be the new normal. Virgil’s anxiety is everywhere as he reluctantly plays along, which is rough for him but definitely provides Thomas’ morning alarm bells quite well.

🗑️ When it came to the Dark Sides, Roman decided they needed to be as harmless and out of the way as possible, starting with Remus being nothing more than a snail (the classic pink snail seen 3 times in every episode). But to Roman’s dismay, Remus doesn’t mind this one bit, he’d much rather be a slimy slithery creature than any cute animal or appliance. True Remus can’t be as effective as normal, but once in a while he’ll cross paths with Thomas and others as they engage in their various activities, always ready to mess with them quickly before they go about their business.

🐍 Last, but certainly not least, Janus was sentenced to the Felt Frame as a Felt Friend. Though he may be stuck in there for the time being, he manages to make images to fill out the frame in order to grab Thomas’ attention and remind him of what he’s avoiding. Janus knows that Thomas is lying to himself, pretending that he can live forever in this childish charade, like the world around him doesn’t matter and his problems will just disappear. He’s limited in what he can do, but he does his best to try to get through to Thomas.

And this is how life is for Thomas now. Days fueled by Roman’s powers of creativity, the Dark Sides shoved out of view as much as possible, Virgil constantly between wanting it to continue and wanting it to end, songs and games of Blue’s Clues with Patton as Blue, and Logan being treated as a captive audience who grows ever closer to joining forces with Janus to get through to Thomas. This can’t go on forever, but will Thomas allow it to stop? Can anyone get through to him? 👀