#because I said I'd have sex w/ one of our other friends there but then I'd be sad bc he'd leave before I could make him breakfast in the

[buysomecheese]

I mean I don't like putting laundry in/sorting it but I do like folding it! Don't like dusting or mopping BUT I love vacuuming! Also a big organizing fan I loveee to organize lmao

Uh good at baking mediocre at cooking I Can deal with doing My Own dishes but I do not Have Fun with it. I Want to be good at money stuff/finances but it Doesn't make sense- I am willing to help though! Driving not good at it but idm it much and I love doing errands. Will put the groceries away so fucking fast and efficiently you won't even know what to do about it. I can help with first aid and also I can for suresies learn how to clean a bathroom really well I'm already learning about toilets so I can figure out sinks and showers. Don't like walking dogs or cleaning up after pets much though

[deadghosy]

Okay so I just started reading Hazbin stuff on your blog, but they're AWESOME!! I'd like to request some Catnap!reader headcanons with the Vees if that's possible?

SURE! Thanks for the suggestion anon🦆💗

CATNAP! READER W/ THE VEES FOR A DAY

prompt: one of the Vee’s grabbed you out of now where and brought you to their tower to hang out.

You didn’t know how this flat faced person got your attention…more like grabbed your tail like a untrained child 😭

Vox grabbed your tail dragging you to the Vee’s tower as you sighed, leaving some red gas out of your mouth annoyed.

I feel like somehow you would agree to hang out with the Vee’s as long as you don’t see them in your hellish life forever.

I can imagine a picture of you and the Vee’s taking a selfie, but Velvette is on her phone, Vox is smiling at the camera, and Valentino is trying to blow a kiss at you.

Valentino was trying to cook for the other two Vee’s and you only for the kitchen to burn down as you and Velvette order take out as Vox gets the fire extinguisher. Valentino is trying not to touch the ✨pretty fire✨

I headcannon Valentino finding you attractive because if your tall frame. But also your smile as you just stand there smiling having your hands behind your back.

Imagine Valentino showing off his guns and you’re like. “Who needs guns when I can do this.” You said smiling as poppy gas slides through your teeth and knocks Valentino straight out on the ground when you smirk.

I can see the Vee’s and you going in a shopping spree and you decide to fuck with them and spend almost all their saving worth. Vox knew what you were doing so he stopped you.

I feel like the Vee’s will try to use try to get info on Alastor. But that’s mostly Vox so it would useless as you don’t anything form Alastor other than Alastor hates when you knock him out for bedtime

You literally sat there as Valentino was trying to get you to watch one of his sex tapes…you knocked him out and left the room as you grumbled.

I can imagine if it was sleepover it would chaotic as hell as Vox would be the one to fall asleep first and duct taped to the ceiling as the other snicker

For shits and giggles, Velvette will say you give off Lana Del Rey vibes as you just side eye her saying, “what tf you know about Lana Del Rey?”

You two are the best music buddies of modern genre.

Imagine a cute little headcannon where they all have secret matching bracelets and they let you have one.

Vox brought you on his channel to talk about your weird and cocky appearance. You were just on there to be clowned until you smirked letting poppy gas as the camera man fell breaking the camera.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! You dumbass cat!” “I’m dumb?” You said glancing at the man beside you as you slapped him smoothly with your tail as he had a shocked face touching his cheek.

I can see Valentino trying to get catnap! Reader to wear heels only for catnap! Reader to break them in their hands shaking their head no as they walk away again

I headcannon that the only V that catnap! Reader finds tolerable is Velvette because of her whole personality and not how she tries to bring catnap! Reader down

You definitely have that fun friend troupe with Velvette which is sweet and wholesome.

Velvette and you were hanging out on her side of the tower as she was getting you dressed in [style aesthetic]. You actually liked it as you gave her a thumbs up and grin.

I headcannon Velvette and Vox to try to make you do those dumbass TikTok dance trends with them so they could get #1 on the trending board.

I can imagine catnap! Reader ordering one of tose bug zappers to only electrocute Valentino

Velvette posted you and her doing a fashion walk as Angel was shocked seeing this on her page and shows the staff of the hotel.

The hazbin hotel gang will be like: “why tf is our resident hanging out with them?” As you are just trying to see why people even love the Vee’s.

I can headcannon that Vox forced you into a group chat with them

I can see that every time you hang out with the Vee’s, your phone gets blown up with worried text from the hazbin hotel crew. And then Vox will try to hack or get into your phone to disable your phone.

I imagine you and Vox literally shitting in each other. Like you say “why as you so short.” While he thinks of a comeback to say back to you.

I headcannon that if you and the Vee’s played uno together, you’re rigging it. Cause ain’t no one gonna win today.

At the end of the day, you left their asses as you used your red smoke on them…well idk about Vox cause that bitch has a tv head. You probably gave him a virus to circuit.

BRO WHO TF MADE THAT SMIRK FOR CATNAP?! EHH? Anyways I hope you guys liked this🦆💗

[watermelonlovershigh]

Can you write something where y/n is insecure about having a bigger vagina. maybe its during sex or when she's drunk or really however you want to write it.

Drunk Insecurities /blurb/

AN: i've had this in my inbox for a while and found the motivation to finally write it. i hope you enjoy. i know i said my next fic was gonna be a smut but when i thought about how i'd write this, i didn't see smut appropriate for my vision. hope that's okay. remember our bodies come in all different shapes and sizes and they are all beautiful. and remember to leave you feedback : ) also the words are orange rather then yellow in my authors note because tumblr must have took the yellow color away. i can't find it. 😭

This story contains: talks of what vaginas look like, insecurities, being drunk, mentions of sex, fluff

{ husband!harry - softrry - any harry era - non famous harry }

word count- 1,022

As Harry tries to bathe you in the shower after a night at the bar with some friends, you have a drunk meltdown with the thought that he thinks negatively about how your vagina looks.

You were currently drunk in the shower. Your husband Harry was in there with you, holding you upright and helping you wash off the smell of booze that lingered on your skin. You'd went out to a bar with a couple of your other married friends and now it was two in the morning and Harry's trying to help you get ready for bed. Key word, trying.

One thing to know about a drunk Y/n was that you get very emotional. You're an emotional drunk. Some people get silly when they're drunk. Some people get sleepy when they're drunk. Some people get sick when they're too drunk. But you, you'll burst into tears at every little inconvenience or negative intrusive thought.

Like right now, as Harry tries to wash over your body while also holding you upright, you burst into tears for the tenth time in a span of an hour. "Baby, you've gotta calm down f'me. Don't want you to make yourself sick from all the cryin' you're doin'. Then we'd have to shower you again."

"But, but," you begin though heaving breaths as you sob, "do you really like my beef curtains?" In your drunken state, you remembered a conversation you had in the bars bathroom with your friends Melony and Paige. Something about how Melony is insecure about having an "outie" vagina but she nicknamed it as her beef curtains. Then Paige saying she wished she had that problem because she's insecure with her innie. Oh the things girls talk about in bar bathrooms......

You kept quiet in the conversation because you didn't exactly want to share what your pussy looked like to your friends. But on the inside, you were just as insecure as Melony was. You know vaginas come in all shapes and sizes but what if your shape and size was unappealing to Harry. What if behind your back, he discussed how his wife had large beef curtains to his friends and they laughed. Your thoughts are totally irrational but your drunk brain can't help it.

Flabbergasted, Harry yells out, "WHAT!" Not in a mean way but in a shocked way. He's no idot. He knows what that can be slang for but he's not once looked at your vagina and thought, oh she has beef curtains. That sounds totally too offensive for Harry to ever think of saying to a women.

"Harry," you mutter annoyed, "my pussy!! Do you really like the way my pussy looks or have you been lying to me?" Now Harry knows your drunk, drunk. Sober you would never question his love for your pussy. Not with the way he treats it.

"My love, why are you askin me that right now? You know I love the way it looks, baby. I love the way all of you looks. All of your imperfections look." Harry responds as he takes the shower head in his right hand to rinse the suds off your body.

Crying again, you say, "Are you saying my pussy is imperfect?" Here we go again, Harry thinks. In your drunken state, you misunderstood his words and turned them into something he hadn't even meant.

Harry turns the water off and leads you out of the shower where he grabs a towel for each of you. He helps you sit on the closed toilet seat while he wraps his towel around his waist. Then begins to help dry you off. And as he dries you off, all Harry can think about is, are you really insecure about how your vagina looks? Or are you just super drunk.

Because in all the years of being with you, never once has he looked at your pussy and thought anything negative. To him it looks normal. Though he isn't blind with the fact pussies come in all shapes and forms, just like dicks do, but to him, your pussy is his normal. It's the only one he's had for nearly a decade and he almost forgot any other pussy even existed.

Coming out of his thoughts, Harry stands up from where he was kneeled down drying your legs, and coos gently, "Come on baby, lets go to the bedroom and get our clothes on so we can get in bed."

Now it's like you've completely forgot about your meltdown in the shower because you whine, "Can we sleep naked, pleaseee?" You don't always sleep naked. Most of the time you sleep in an oversized t-shirt and panties and Harry sleeps in just his briefs. But when you do sleep naked, it's usually after you've had sex and either you're too lazy to put clothes on or you want to feel close to one another after having sex.

So naturally, Harry's response is, "Fine, but no funny business. Your drunk, Y/n."

With no tears in sight anymore, you grin up at your tall husband and reply, "Hey, I know that. But, what about in the morning, hm?"

"If you're not puking in the toilet from how bad your hangover will be, I'll consider it, okay. But for now, lets go to sleep. I'm knackered." Harry helps you stand on wobbly legs from the toilet seat and helps you walk to the bedroom. Once in there, he peels back the duvet and sheets and carefully helps you crawl in the bed to get comfy.

Harry walks around to his side of the bed and slips his towel off before joining you in bed too. He turns the lamp off and slides over to your body so he can cuddle you. He's a big cuddler. Then before you both drift off to sleep, he whispers, "Wake me up if you need anythin', my love. Like if you feel sick or somethin'. I love you. Sleep well." Though he hopes the two glasses of water he made you drink before you got into the shower will help lesson the chances of you getting sick.

"Love you too, H." you manage to say before you're knocked out cold, loving the way his bare skin feels pressed against yours along with the alcohol in your system.

(PLEASE REBLOG BECAUSE WRITING IS NOT EASY AND IT'S FREE SO JUST DO IT)

(no more tags are allowed because i've hit my number limit. sorry : ( )

tag list: @one-sweet-gubler // @harryscherrysugar // @hsfanficsrecss // @lollypopsx // @harrycanyonmoonn // @itfeelslikemytherapisthatesme // @damnasstyles  // @mrsstylesharry // @softmullet  // @meetmyblondemuffins  // @thegirlnextdoorssister // @stanleystyles  // @haarrrys // @michellekstyles  // @skyangel57   // @the-gardener-31 // @lhharrylilpumpkin // @yousunshine-youtemptress // @clairestylessss  // @kissmyaxe14  // @goldenmelonsugar-hi // @kaitieskidmore97 // @florencepughily  // @alienorknight //@dancearoundthelivingroom  // @swiftmendeshoran

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______________

My Masterlist Masterpost

[solar-eclippse]

Abijah for the ask game? 👁️w👁️

Gladly~! Thank you for the ask! [Ask game]

1) Sexuality headcanon Pansexual and... I want to say grayromantic?

2) OTP Abijah x me~ Ahem! Who said that? I swear, there's some sort of weird echo in here...

Self-shipping aside... I have been obsessed with Abijah x Mizu since first watching BES. I always go feral over shipping narrative foils together, and these are just. IMMACULATE. Red and blue, fire and water. "Extrovert adopting an introvert" except the introvert would rather he just shut up. Two ruthless killers, one who sees their actions as a necessary evil, the other who RELISHES in it. Two outsiders in their respective home countries because of their heritage. The opportunity for Abijah to act as a mentor figure. The twisted familial vibes. The complicated power dynamic. The sex would be absolutely wild, and you can't convince me that they wouldn't mesh surprisingly well if it wasn't for the fact that they met because Mizu tried to kill him.

3) BROTP Does this guy have any friends? Probably not, so I'm gonna go with him and Heiji. I sort of ship them, too, but either way, their dynamic is SO FUN. I love the idea of a relationship that's 10+ years past date, but they know each other like the back of their hands and need each other too much to get out. I want to study them under a microscope.

4) NOTP Mmm, pass. There's not a lot of ships for Abijah, and I like all the ones I've seen so far.

5) First headcanon that pops into my head Unsurprisingly, he's pretty obsessed with food, and while he's got staff to take care of that these days, I headcanon that he's pretty great at cooking! (He will eat anything that's available, though. The exact opposite of a picky eater.)

6) Favorite line from this character "So! If you might, my dear, dear friend, my trusted partner and clear equal, my right hand and both feet on land, fondest heart, spare a cup of concern towards our purpose... and do it your fucking self."

7) One way in which I relate to this character Shut-in and low-key really mad about it >:/ (My executive dysfunction doesn't allow me to go outside nearly as often as I'd like)

8) Thing that gives me second-hand embarassment about this character That line where he compares his conquest of Edo to a partner waiting for him on the bed. Sir. Just generally how much of a freak he is. (I mean, same, but.) Every time I write him, there's a constant chant of "Why are you like this?" going on in my head.

9) Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Look. I adore him, but it doesn't matter how many pet names I call him or how much I think of his tragic backstory, he might just be the most morally reprehensible character I've ever gotten attached to, and even I can't fool myself into thinking he's anything but a problematic fave.

[shannendoherty-fans]

August 1992 - Shannen Doherty on the cover of YM (Young & Modern) magazine, by Firooz Zahedi.

Brunette bombshell Shannen Doherty – How she got it all - Part 2.

The got-it-all Girl

Shannen’s love life

What she looks for in a guy: “I’m not going to lie like a lot of people and say, ‘I look for a sense of humor and a personality first.” I look for a good-looking guy first.” (laughs)

How she makes her relationship work: “We make time for each other. Because when everything is said and done, the acting may not be there, but the relationship will.”

Why they postponed the wedding: “We were supposed to get married last March 15. You know, it goes from this small, intimate wedding to his parents’ giving me a list to my parents’ giving me a list. Two hundred of each parents’ closest friends are all of a sudden invited to your wedding. I was going bonkers.”

On her wedding dress: “I designed my own wedding dress. It’s a little too ritzy, a Beverly Hills kind of dress. I’m not too psyched about it, so I think I’m going to do it all over. I'll have them make it a more simple dress.”

Wedding of the century: “[So far] we haven’t found a place that’s big enough to hold the wedding in the style we wanted. We wanted it to be very 30s mixed with Italian charm. All Italian food’s going to be served at our wedding. My favorite is Italian food, my absolute fave.”

Shannen speaks

On Brenda: "I think everybody can relate to my character. She's not the perfect girl in that she really flubs up sometimes. She males huge mistakes, like kissing another guy when she has a boyfriend. Whatever it is, I think she's becoming a stronger character."

On her looks: "You know, my eyes are a little off center. Somebody pointed it out to me. I went, 'Really?' So I went home, and I looked in the mirror, and I said, 'Wow, they are.' And you know, to me, it's cool. It maes me different."

Her day: "Usually I have a 6:30 A.M. call So I get up at 4:30... book to work... sit in the make-up chair for an hour." She gets home between 8:30 and 9:00 P.M.

Her hair: "I wash it in the morning and I put conditioner on it, and that's about it."

Tattoos: "I have a proble with being a grandmother and having tattoos. I think they're cool. But they're a little too trendy for me now. It's, like, if I got a tattoo now, I'd be another trendy L.A. person. And that's what I don't want."

Shannen answers your questions

“When you were in high school, did you have any trouble fitting in?” —Ardis Dumalski, 15, Park Ridge, IL “I never fit in. I was unusual looking. Guys in high school didn’t like me. They were into the typical California blonds. I dressed unusual. Kids are ruthless. I got harassed all the time. You want to know the best thing about being in US magazine’s ‘Ten Most Beautiful Women’ section? All those guys who used to say I was so ugly, I can, like, throw this in their face and say, ‘Excuse me, f— you! Your opinion means s— now.’ ”’

“What's it like to become famous so quickly? How has it changed your life?” —Lyndsey Robertson, 14, Argenta, IL “One word: overwhelming. It’s overwhelming and it’s interesting at the same time.”

“How does it feel to be a sex symbol?” —Beth Lemkin, 19, Isla Vista, CA “You never think of yourself as one. To me, I'm not a sex symbol, so I can’t answer that.”

“Do you have any input on 90210’ story lines? If so, what would you like to see happen with Brenda?” —Emily Harris, 19, Hartsdale, NY “Yes. We can give them story-line ideas—sometimes they use them, sometimes they don’t. If we don’t like something in the script, they change it. I'd like to see Brenda become a stronger woman. They should get her out on her own. And have her go through different weird phases.”

“How do you feel about the writers’ having to change Brenda's sexual decisions because of advertising, viewers, parents and other outside pressures?” —Emily Harris, 19, Hartsdale, NY “Unfortunately those people who didn’t like that are not being realistic, because a lot of teenagers are having sex.”

"What do you do when the show is on hiatus?” —Andrea Wilson, 22, Cambridge, MA “I do movies, like I'm doing a movie of the week now. It’s called Obsession. I'm this 24-year-old girl who falls for a guy in his 50s. And he breaks up with me, and I go psycho.”

"A lot of people think you're really conceited. Why do you think this is?” —Ingrid Douglas, 16, Brooklyn, NY “Cause people read too much bad press. Because the only way the Enquirer can sell is to write bad stuff about you. They say nightmare stuff about me all the time. They said Luke and I hate each other. They say that I throw temper tantrums over my wardrobe. Well, if I threw temper tantrums over my wardrobe, why do I still wear such clothes on the show?”

“Do you spend time off the set with the other actors from 90210?" —Suzy Sherman, 18, Framingham, MA “I hang out with Tori, she’s a really good friend of mine. I’ve gone to a club with Jennie, I've hung out with Jason. I don’t hang out with Gab—she’s kind of on a different level from me.”

(Part 1)

[jungkookjeon0007]

Nights in Vegas | CH. 19 (JJK FF)

☆ summary: When Olivia flies to Las Vegas for her first ever BTS concert w/ her best friend, she was expecting to make lots of unforgettable memories... What she wasn't expecting was to end up with the lead singer, Jeon Jungkook, knocking on her hotel room door only to find her in nothing but a towel. What will happen when the golden maknae wants to see her again? Will it lead to heartbreak, or a promising future for them both?

☆ pairing(s): jungkook x olivia.

☆ ratings: (18+) for detailed sex scenes + harsh language.

☆ genre: smut, angst, fluff.

☆ word count: 1.58k.

☆☆☆☆☆☆

[Author's POV]

A few days had went by, and tonight was yet another concert for the boys.

Except this time the concerts were going to be back to back, which means they had another one tomorrow as well. Lacie and Olivia were fortunate enough to attend the other two concerts due to the company allowing them to tag along with the boys backstage.

They arrived at the stadium, and were escorted to a very nice and private sitting room while the members were getting ready for the concert. The private room would be where the two would watch the concert live from a big screen TV monitor.

"Wow, look at this set up! I'd rather be in here any day compared to out there with all those sweaty ARMY fans screaming our ears off the whole time. What about you, Liv?"

She turned to see her best friend checking the place out with shiny eyes, "Idk, I like it back here but I loved being able to experience the 'purple ocean' and the guys performing was so much better in person. It was the most amazing experience, you have to admit."

Lacie smiled nodding her head in agreement because she knew Olivia was right, it was definitely something they could never forget.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and 7 men stepped in, shutting the door behind them.

"Hello ladies, how are you liking your private room?" Yoongi asked as he gestured around him.

"It is amazing and so relaxing! We really are excited that we get to watch the concert in here." Lacie replied.

"Yeah, we tried to have them make it as comfy as possible for you both and made sure you had plenty of snacks and drinks for the whole concert." Namjoon said, smiling sweetly.

"Well.. We truly appreciate that so much Namjoon, thank you!" Olivia said as he nodded and flashed his dimples at them.

"Yes, so just relax and enjoy the show. If you would happen to need anything, there is a button on this table to call one of the staff members to come assist with anything you'd need." Jimin stated as he walked over and pointed to said button.

The rest of the guys spoke for a few minutes, until it was time for them to get ready and go out on stage.

. . .

[Olivia's POV]

We bid the other 5 members a farewell and wished them good luck on the show, but 2 of them stayed behind to talk for just a few more minutes with us.

Jungkook walked up to me and gave me his beautiful bunny smile, "I'm so glad I get to come here to you after the concert ends instead of waiting to see you at the hotel."

I smiled as he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Me too, I'm most excited to be able to ride home with you, take a shower, and after that getting into nice warm jammies so we can binge watch American Horror Story until we fall asleep."

He smiled, "That sounds absolutely perfect and I cannot wait."

He pulled me to him by my hips as he wrapped his long arms around me for a big hug. I stood on my tip toes and attached our lips together as we completely melted into the kiss. As we pulled back he whispered onto my lips, "I love you baby."

I pulled back and ran my fingers through his hair and whispered back, "I love you too my handsome pop-star. Have a great concert."

He smiled real big and kissed me one last time right before Hobi hollered at him from the door.

"Coming Hyung! He then turned back to me, "See you after the show beautiful." He winked, turning around and exited the room.

I took a deep breath and was smiling at the moment we shared when Lacie suddenly cleared her throat. When I looked up at her, she was giving me a big smile, "What?"

"Nothing. I'm just glad the two of you made up, you're perfect for each other Liv, I truly believe that."

I blushed. "He makes me so happy, I just can't help but keep thinking about when we have to tell them goodbye... the day is getting closer and closer and i don't know if I'll be able to do it."

She came up to me, grabbing my shoulders, turning me to look at her, "Please stop worrying over this. The conversations will happen eventually... until then, enjoy your time with him."

I sighed, "How are you so calm about this? You'll be leaving Hobi as well-"

She interrupted me, "Hobi and I have already agreed to continue a long distance relationship together to make this work. You and Jungkook need to have the same conversation, so you both can be prepared when it's time for us all to head home."

"I guess you're right. I'm just nervous about what he will want to do."

She looked at me with a loving expression, "Liv honey, he will want to do whatever it takes to be with you."

I looked at her with hope filled eyes, "You think?"

"Absolutely. You're soul-mates for sure and I think you guys are the real deal."

I smiled at her, pulling her into a hug, "Thank you so much. I needed that pep talk. You're the best!"

. . .

[Author's POV]

Lacie and Olivia continued to talk for a few more minutes until they received word from a member of the staff that the concert was about to begin. They sat down with their snacks and wine to watch the performance and once it started, they could not stop ogling at how amazing the members all looked.

"Oh my gosh! Look at Yoongi!!!" Lacie stated.

"Jungkook is looking so good! Look at him in that red outfit!" Olivia said while fanning herself dramatically.

"HOBI IS EVERYTHING!" Lacie said, taking a huge drink of wine as they both continued to commentate about how the members sang, danced, and looked during each one of their performances.

. . .

Time Skip — After the Concert

Everything was phenomenal and they could not be more proud of them all and as the concert came to a close, Jungkook busted through the door and went straight to Olivia. His lips crashed onto hers as they kissed passionately, "I missed you so much, Liv."

"I missed you too and you all did so good tonight! I'm seriously so proud of you all-"

She observed him with furrowed eye brows and changed the subject, "N-not that I'm not happy to see you, I really am... But I'm curious, why are you not getting a shower and finishing up everything with the others?"

He smirked, "I wanted to come back here and get you. I want to go back to the hotel because as I recall, we had plans to get a shower, get our pajamas on, and binge watch American Horror Story... right?"

"Yes, that's right. But.. won't the guys get upset that you didn't wait on them and went with me instead?"

He chuckled, "No baby. Namjoon Hyung actually insisted the idea. He said that we weren't doing anything after this anyways and I should just get you and take you back with me... So are you ready to go?"

Olivia turned and looked at Lacie, but she was already in Hobi's arms. As if Jungkook read her mind, he turned to her, "He's doing the same. He wanted to come and get Lacie since I was coming to get you."

"Okay then, yes. Let's go, I'm sure you're ready for a shower and to lay down." He nodded as she grabbed his hand, turning to Lacie and Hobi, "We are going to head back to the hotel, text me if you need anything and be safe!"

"We will and you both do the same. Enjoy your night and great job tonight Jungkook!"

Jungkook smiled at Lacie and bowed then lightly tugged Olivia's hand, insisting that they go. The pair left the room, heading to the back exit of the stadium where no ARMYs would be so they could get in the car that's waiting to take them back.

. . .

[Jungkook's POV]

We entered the car safely with no one seeing us and started on our way to the hotel, "Come here baby, let me hold you."

She got closer to me with a smile on her face and laid her head on my shoulder as I put my arm around her.

"You smell so good." She stated with a little sigh as if she was taking in as much of my smell as possible.

I chuckled. "Why thank you. I guess I should wear this perfume more often then, huh?"

She nodded. "Yes, I love the way that it smells."

I smiled, placing a kiss on her forehead as she nestled into me for the remainder of the car ride.

My life feels so complete when she's with me, but I dread when we have to have the discussion about what we're going to do when it's time to go home....

[rexregistries]

im quitting smut & everything nsfw!!

like straight up, cold-turkey, quitting. so far, we're 20 hours in.

heres why

this is gonna get REALLLL personal, buckle in.

i know not many ppl will see this, but its nice to just get it out.

tw: online sexual grooming and me being a minor thru it all

basically, im gonna talk abt how this all started (i should REALLY be doing homework right now, but i need to get it off my chest, and i only have 1 assignment left)

please bear with me! i only recently remembered all of this, and most of it is still terribly foggy, and hopefully shall stay that way.

when i was 8, i entered into a friendship with a 26-year-old man on roblox. we met thru our mutual like for percy jackson & the olympians, and i met him on a pjo role-playing game on roblox. mind you, roblox filter about 8 years ago was almost nonexistent.

the man, sam (found this out years into my "relationship" w him, to me he was cookie [cookieflame546]), asked my age when i first met him. i knew about stranger danger, obviously i did, i was born a girl. but i gave him my age anyway. so he knew.

this relationship lasted 5 years. 8 years old to 13 years old.

it started okay! we'd roleplay together, nothing too bad! the real trouble began when one of my ocs went into a romantic relationship with one of his ocs. he asked me if i knew anything about sex (the deed, the dirty, the devils tango, he called it something else that i dont remember) and i said no. obviously i didnt, i was 8.

he offered to teach me stuff, and i said ok. i trusted him for some reason. (NO GIRL STOPPP)

and boy. BOY, did he teach me stuff.

he bought a private server JUST to have sex w me. i'd go online, roleplay a little with my other online friends (who were my age, maybe 1 or 2 years older), and then once sam got on, i'd go to the private server. it happened maybe three times a week, i think? we'd roleplay w other people normally most of the time. i got discord at 10, because he asked me to.

when it started getting really, really, actually terrible (more than it already was) was when i got into the hamilton fandom in 2020. (also, since covid was happening, i was on everyday, so we interacted a lot more)

"kal, y is hamilton important?" well, when i got into hamilton, i got into wattpad. when i got into wattpad, i got into smut. when i got into smut, i got into actual fucking porn. at the ripe age of 12 years old.

i was so proud of my newfound knowledge. i wanted to show him all i knew. the sex got worse. he'd find ways to bypass the increasingly strong filter, and so would i.

the only thing im glad for is that he never sent nsfw pics, and neither did i.

it started tapering off once i got into 8th grade. i had more homework, i couldnt be on as much. we still had those little sessions, but they were more infrequent.

(BUT, in his place, came another friend. his name is alex. hes a year older than me, and we roleplayed almost exclusively sexually together. outside of roleplay, we would also message sexually on discord. some of got disturbing when i look back on it [he said he would find my address, climb into my window, and fuck me. bro i am 12 years old]

me and alex fell out of contact for a long time [something something i used to be really homophobic and our entire friendgroup, excluding him and i, was queer]. we say hi hello when hes online on discord, but we dont talk anymore)

slowly, me and sam went back into a regular friendship. we didn't talk for months, other than the occasional hi, hello, hru, im good. i stopped roleplaying, he didnt.

and then my brain decided "yooooo wait this was kinda bad.......im gonna make them forget it >:]"

and i did! i forgot about it. and then in freshmen year, at a winter camp for school, it all came rushing back. i cried about it to one of my closest friends (they moved, but we still talk. if ur seeing this joey [ur prob not], the second im 18 we r gonna see each other istg!!!!), and they told me to block him. i did.

i havent spoken to him since.

and then my brain did another little silly and said "im gonna make them forget it again!! >:]"

and guess what! i forgot about it again.

until i sat by myself, just having finished a brutal smut fic, crying, because, man, why the fuck was i like this? why cant i stop reading and watching and looking at this horrible shit? because it was ruining me! it really was! (it still is, but we're working on it)

andddddddd it came rushing back again.

finally, an answer! thats why im like this!

my most formative years were filled with sex! thats why im obsessed with it!

i know im partly to blame. i enabled myself by actively looking for nsfw. but im trying to fix that.

thank u for ur time :]

[freckliedan]

I never knew your lore!! What was it like dating in a triad if it's sth you're comfortable talking about. Especially with someone you obviously loved a lot. What were your feelings for the other person? How did you even manage to communicate enough to be able to do that? Was it complicated at all? Was it fun/hot? Sorry if it's a lot but I've had someone proposition this to me and I just was so confused I didn't know better and said no. Now I regret it bc I feel so attracted to these people and would honestly love that (but more in a friends with benefits kinda way)! But I'm not in love with either so that made it easier for me to consider it at least? If I were, idk how I would handle it bc I'm quite insecure/easily jealous person

it's not lore i've talked the most about! but i've been increasingly open about poly stuff on here and i love the people in my life very much so i'm happy to talk about it! under the cut tho, bc this will get long.

when i was dating in a triad w/ my ex, they were actually the newest addition to the relationship—the third person is art, my now husband! and we all have different genders now than we did at the time we all three dated.

in a lot of ways it was very cool and wonderful being in a triad!!! like. they to this day are two of my favorite people in this world. it ruled loving them and being loved by them and it still does though the forms have changed.

me & art were best friends for a couple years before we started dating in 2014, & when our relationship changed to dating it was very much a case of "we're best friends and want to be in each other's lives forever, we just also want to kiss & probably have sex someday about it & to belong to each other".

(probably someday on the sex due to. we were 18 and had both never kissed anyone before. we took it slow).

ex has been one of both of our other best friends since that same point in time, & we dated him from 2017-2018. it was a very similar start to our dating relationship w ex—we already were best friends and wanted to hang out forever, we were just adding more to the relationship we already shared.

and we all had a great dynamic when all 3 of us were spending time together, but also each had individually strong relationships? me and art hung out just the two of us, but so did me and ex & ex and art. adding a new dimension to it all was the easy part?

we spent a lot of time that summer walking dogs and camping and fooling around and laughing together and getting stoned.

& yes it was very fun and hot. i shan't elaborate. but there was a point in time where i'd EASILY had more threesomes than anyone else i knew.

it was sometimes complicated and hard but not because it was hard to have that much love in our lives? i am the opposite of a jealous person and had mostly worked thru the insecurity i felt in the first few years of me and art's relationship/did not see his relationship w our ex as something that could replace what he and i have bc we're all very different people so was not insecure abt it.

it was just. a difficult time in all three of our lives individually? none of us were in a good place with mental health, & largely due to factors outside of our control. i'm not going to get into art & ex's sprcific struggles, but i was being medically neglected, freshly had gone no contact with my mom, & was just out of a toxic/abusive living situation.

(& my ex roommates were also COWORKERS of me and art. yes they treated me like shit at work bc art was full time in classes and only in like once a week. and then ex started working with us too.

one of the ex roommates had also been friends with us since high school and was our ex's ex. i had known the other ex roommate since i was 7 or 8 and she was the assistant manager. they were homophobic to me the whole time i lived with them and started dating after i moved out)

(yes the drama went fucking crazy but i have literally always maintained the moral high ground).

ANYWAYS. i think i was in the best place mental health wise of all three of us at the time. insanely enough. with that incomplete list of hell going on in my life.

but i was the only one of the three of us who had strong social support outside of our group of three, & i was the one who realized that our individual struggles were making it hard to communicate at times & that it was hurting all of us.

so i was the one who realized that if all 3 of us wanted to stay in each other's lives, we needed to break up with ex.

which sucked! a lot! it really hurt ex, but being newer in the relationship than our established dynamic was also hurting him.

he and i both walked away from the breakup feeling like it was uniquely our fault because we wanted too much. it has been amazingly healing to have maintained our connection & been able to process our breakup like. with each other. bc we both went into future polyamory w approximately the same baggage LMAO.

we moved in with each other a little less than a year after our breakup & lived together for almost 4 years! and we'd been living out of each other's pockets for the two before that—art & ex lived w their families like a five minute walk apart and i spent most of my time living out of my subaru btween the two of their homes.

so like. i don't regret it. i will spend the rest if my life loving both my husband and our ex so much it goes beyond words, no matter what form our relationships take. we would probably still be together if our relationship had started under literally any better of surrounding circumstances.

after our breakup i spent some time as a lesbian and that overlapped with ex's gender veering into man so attraction stopped there? though who knows what the future holds.

idk! i would rather my husband adopt a dog with ex and be the cool step parent that never actually takes on a parental role for the dog. i wish we were neighbors/lived near each other rather than states apart bc in a dream world ex and i would have keys to each other's homes and would just get to hang out doing our own thing in one another's room at least 3 days a week.

there's no one size fits all for poly relationships & there's definitely Other friends i want to/do blur the lines btween romantic and platonic with at this point in time.

no other triads currently happening in my life though and idk if it will happen again?

no sorries! & i'm nor sure how helpful this ramble will have been but i appreciate the chance to talk about my experiences bc it's not something that comes up a lot but it means a lot to me and has been such a significant part of my life.

if the proposition was on the table before for you, and it's something you do know you'd be down for & that you're prepared to communicate a lot about, is it for sure off the table now? if it's something that might still be possible for you and it's something you can talk about w the people in question then have that conversation!

worst case scenario, it's an awkward conversation where yall realize you have different expectations and wants out of a triad and that that means it's not something that's going to happen.

best case scenario, you get to have some fun and sexy new experiences?

i'd say it's worth it to try! & if jealousy and insecurity are a concern for you, they might be for the other two in some way, too. i think talking about whether it might come up for you guys and how to proceed if it does as an up front thing would peobably be a smart idea?

for real though! if it's something you want amd that the other two people were down for in the past, i hope it can be an option again in the now too. good luck anon and thank you for listening to me run my mouth.

[yuncheoligans]

~Beautiful Stranger~

Chapter 4.5: A Gym Date and a Project

Pairing: Yunho x Reader. (The guys are involved at some point too but not romantically.) NonIdol! AU

Description: A lonely perpetually single grad student working at a museum is approached by a handsome man, he looks expensive. Maybe this is your chance to get swept off your feet. Maybe he wants something else.

Warnings: I don't censor myself so I don't censor the characters, so Language warning.

taglist: @legohwas, @hwaightme, @starillusion13

w/c: ~1339

~Masterlist~

~Series Masterlist~

a/n: Here's part 2 of chapter 4!!!! Again thank you for the time and support, I'd say a month has passed between the two parts, not a huge deal but you know, enough for some artistic choices.

--------------

“You look gorgeous today y/n” Wooyoung chirpped from beside me. “Hello Woo.” “What no, handsome as ever Wooyoung, Thank you for introducing me to the light of my life? I’m totally in love with your best friend Yunho?” “You look great Wooyoung, should have no troubles getting Jem to go home with you after drinks.” “That’s no what I said….how long are you going to stare at this blank canvas?” “It’s not…entirely blank.” I sighed. “It’s painted white.” “Still having trouble on your final? Maybe you need a little-” he thrusts his hips slightly at me. “Inspiration.” “Ew stop. No-” “All our favorite painters have used sex and their partners as great inspiration for their pieces some even in the museums you stare at all day.” “It was one time.” He gasped. “You’ve been dating for 4 months and only slept together once?! I’m calling Yunho immediately.” Twice…don’t let him know that. “Wooyoung it’s not that serious. I’m the one saying no.” “Why? Was he bad?” “No, he was….fantastic….but I…I don’t know that stuff makes me I don’t know it’s not that I don’t want to but I don’t want him to think that’s all I want…it’s hard for me to explain, I’ve also been busy with work with the new exihibit coming in and we’re having to get everything ready and, I don’t know I just…I’m a bad partner aren’t I?” “Is this all because of your ex? You know-” “He’s no like that I know.” I sighed. “I was going to say you’re more to him than you know. You should see your name in his phone. It’s surrounded by hearts and I think there’s a nickname in there something like ‘Love Shot’” he chuckled. “You play one EXO song around a guy while you’re getting ready and suddenly you’re saved in his phone as Love Shot.” “And what’s yours for him?” “…….Bear Hug…. “Is it actually?!” “Shhh! It was for like a week. I change it because I don’t know, we don’t call each other anything besides like…babe….and I thought Bear Hug was cute, I didn’t know about the Love Shot thing stop…he did not.” “He did, he said he’s going to change it soon but he likes it.” “I’m going to kill myself.” My phone started ringing….of course with the sound on. “Is that-?!” “SHHH! Hi you…” I blushed. “Hi, is that Wooyoung in the back?” “Yeah he’s bothering me over my final project.” “The blank canvas?” “It’s painted white…..” “I’m going to the gym….want to come?” “Yes.” I hastily said, anything to get out of this situation, no matter what it was. “Great I’ll pick you up-” “From my place, I need to change.” I stopped him from saying school, I didn’t need Wooyoung and him to start talking. “See you soon.” “Yeah, I’m leaving now.” I hung up. “Bear Hug.” Wooyoung smirked. “Shutup.” I left.

Somehow I made it back in record time, I put on the best pair of black workout leggings I had grabbed a water bottle and put my hair up, start cute…look terrible after. Right? I got his text that he was outside before anyone could question where I was going or why I looked like I was going to workout. Right as Liz started asking I was out the door. Great timing. “Hi” I breathed out getting in his car. “Hi.” he smiled and leaned over the center to peck my lips. “Missed you.” “You saw me for dinner like 4 days ago.” “And? Your pictures don’t talk back to me like you do.” “Oh so you like me being a brat.” “Oh absolutely.” he smiled. “Noted.” Now I don’t know how many of you have seen an incredibly attractive man who happens to be your boyfriend who may or may not be a sculpture work out before…but let me tell you I don’t think I had a single safe for work thought. “You’re staring again Tiny.” he smirked as he wiped his face. “Mmmhmm.” I nodded and then processed. “Oh sorry.” I blushed. “No need, glad I can bring you along, especially if you stare at me like that.” he winked. “Dinner?” “Oh sure.” I smiled. “Nothing-” “Nothing fancy, don’t worry….sometimes rich people like Pizza and Fried Chicken too.” he smiled. We got cleaned up and he placed an order for pick up so we could eat at his place. He, being the gentleman he is, went in to get the food and then drove to his. “Oh a nice townhouse I see.” I smiled. “I don’t need anything huge, but if I can comfortably afford a little more space than necessary why not, plus means I have room if something happens.” he winked at me again. “And just what is that supposed to mean?” I chuckled at him. “Means if we’re still in love in 6 months I might be coming home to you every night.” he scooped me into him and kissed me before unlocking the door ushering me in.

After dinner he went to go clean up and find a change of clothes for me, in case I wanted to get out of these sweaty clothes. I think it’s just an excuse to make me stay longer. “See one you like?” he smiles coming up to me. “I mean you have quite the collection.” I scoffed looking at the wall of art he had. “I mean theres…Picasso, Degas…these are amazing.” “I actually just liaison for my uncle, they’re copies anyways, he sells them as such don’t worry. But he likes having photos of them looking nice so we hang up the first one to display, you know?” “Wow, they’re amazing copies.” “And this one is for when Wooyoung is finished with the Gaugain, I asked him to paint one for me…” he pointed to an empty frame on the wall. “I wanted to remember the first day we met, all over a vase of flowers.” he smiled and squeezed my side. “So you sell copies and??” “And?” “I mean come on, you’re rich and have stayed that way…are you sure you’re not a Mafia member?” I smiled. “Oh, there’s my secret, I work for the Mafia and plan heists to steal art, there is no rich uncle.” he laughed when I started laughing. “Well too bad I guess I have a type then.” “What do you mean?” he looked at me. “My ex was in a motorcycle gang? If you could call it that honestly. He mostly just rode around as loud as possible to piss people off.” I shrugged. “Sounds great.” “Yeah…until he pissed off an actual gang and they broke into my house…they just smashed some stuff but it was all mine.” “Here?” he looked at me concerned and turned me towards him. “No no before grad school, I’ve been single for a very long time.” “I’m sorry, you can call me if you ever feel in danger, I’ll be there.” he cupped my cheek. “Well not danger but maybe with my final? I’m really stuck on what to do.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“Maybe you’re just not thinking big enough, maybe make the canvas bigger, stretch out, why are you limiting yourself?” “Huh?” “Make it bigger take up the whole floor, wall, room, don’t conform to the space, force yourself in, make the room make room for you. Baby you can make it as big as you want.” he smiled. “Let yourself be in the space, make others notice you first. Be you.” “Make it bigger?” “As big as you want…make it you….make it your story.” I pulled him down and kissed him. It was then that I got the idea. Make it my story.

Maybe Wooyoung was right, maybe I needed a little “inspiration.”

“You’re going to help me.” I smiled at him. “We’re going to rent out the studio space overnight and I want you to help me paint it.” “Paint what?” he said breathlessly. “Our story.”

Prev

[karrenseely]

Wait... I'm what?!

Sexuality is confusing as all get out to a trans kid. When I was a teenage girl and everyone insisted I was a teenage boy, I was extremely confused about my sexuality. Partly this is because I believed the gaslighting telling me I was a boy w/ shameful perverted thoughts. But also because part of me knew I was a girl. I was attracted to girls at the time, I think. However, this brings up the other issue, not having experienced attraction before, I couldn't tell if I was interested in other girls because I wanted a relationship or if I just really wished I was them. A quintessential trans issue.

I didn't have much interest in boys, though I did have fantasies about one of my friends, and even dreamed I was in a relationship with him. It was very confusing, I wasn't sure at first if it meant I was gay or straight if I was into a boy, and all these girls.

Later as I understood more thoroughly I was a girl, I realized, if I was going to have a relationship with a girl then it meant I would be a lesbian. This was also used to shame me, as something bad or perverted by my first therapist, adding to the confusion and self hatred. I really didn't know what was going on.

Now add to this, that I was asexual, I didn't even know that was a thing at the time. So all my fantasies? None of them involved sex, at all. I would think someone was pretty, or handsome. I had crushes on male movie stars at the time, Patrick Swayze, and Tom Cruise come to mind (I thought of them as safe, as I was never going to meet them). But again no sexual fantasies. My friends, who were all male (because I was terrified if I had female friends people would figure out my horrible secret of being a girl) would talk about sex a lot. I mean a lot. As would others at school. I never understood why. But having already been pretending to be a boy for years, I would respond with sexual innuendos and desires when I was queried about it and who I'd like to have a relationship with.

And because sex wasn't important to me, I only thought about it seriously in relation to me now and then. And after continuing to find it confusing, would decide I can try to figure that out better after transition. So I would just put it off. However, because I needed to continue to pretend to be a boy, at some point it was expected that I would have a girlfriend, so either a girl asked me or asked her, I don't remember which, probably the former, and I started dating her.

Ironically, this was part of the best year of my k-12 school life. With dating her, I had a group of friends I could hang out with, and I did actually have some fun that year, despite all the internal pain/dysphoria. One of the girls in the group though, could tell I didn't love my girlfriend that way, I suspect so did my girlfriend. And that person asked me if I loved her. I said no. To this day, I wish I'd said no, not in the way you mean. Because I cared about my girlfriend, but not romantically or sexually. And all through this I hated being in a relationship. I didn't specifically hate her, as noted above I cared for her. No I hated it, because I felt like I was the worst kind of liar. I was a girl, and everyone saw me as a boy. I was terrified of being discovered, but at the same time I hated the lying. It tore me up.

Transphobes never get it. They think we're lying after we transition, but to those of us who are trans, it feels like we're constantly lying before we come out, much less transition, as we try to pretend to be what everyone wants us to be. A lot of the transphobes arguments are like that. I think it's because they see us as our assigned birth sex, rather than the gender we've always been. But I digress.

So yes, I remained thoroughly confused about my sexuality. After I started living full time as myself, I explored dating, first with a boy. He was amazing, and very sweet. I met him on the bus. He asked me out and I said yes. We went on a few dates. But I never felt anything for him, and so it fizzled. I never kissed him, and he never asked or insisted. Like I said, he was very sweet. Whomever he ended up with is a very lucky girl. But given I had no feelings for him, and struggled with the idea of kissing him. I came to the conclusion I wasn't straight. And if I wasn't straight, then that meant I was a lesbian. And I came to terms with it and it became part of my identity.

However, I still didn't understand everyone's obsession with sex. The whole thing was a mystery. Through this time in college, I would develop crushes on my friends, as I got to know them. Which was painful, because only one seemed interested back, thankfully in a platonic way. I had trouble developing romantic feelings for anyone that I wasn't already friends with. This added to my distress around romance/sex because all my friends were dating left and right and having relationships with people they didn't know before and obviously had feelings for them. And I didn't work that way, and it sucked. I never did figure out how to navigate that side of things. Though at least now, I'm aware of it and why. I don't feel quite like the freak I did before I understood this part of me a little better.

Ironically, long before I understood what asexuality was, I realized I was not going to be able to satisfy my future partner's sexual needs, and if I loved them then they would need those needs met. And thus explored polyamory. I had trouble with the concept, until one day I realized that love is not pie, there isn't a limit for myself or my partners. Also how we love each individual feels different from every other individual. As such, we aren't replacing anyone by loving more than one person. This and realizing it is about trust and communication brought me into polyamory with a feeling of being comfortable with it.

Several times I found myself in very close friendships, and they were good, but I was convinced that these friends didn't love me, because they didn't want to have sex or a physical relationship with me. Not that I wanted to have sex, but as I understood it, romantic relationships had to have sex/physical relationship. And so I yearned, even though these relationships were pretty much what I needed. I'd never heard of asexuality, much less had it modeled for me.

In fact the first truly unconditionally loving relationship that was modeled for me and I was able to understand the message (others had been modeled for me, but I couldn't hear the message) was in my 30's in med school, by a friend who was in a wonderful loving relationship with the man she loved, and who loved her just as deeply.

That was the first hint to me, that thinking relationships were only real if they involved physical/sexual contact was wrong. But I still didn't quite understand what I was seeing. Their relationship was forced to be long distance by world circumstances for most of that year. But their love for each other was obvious, as was the fact that they wanted each other to be happy. But in watching them, I knew that was the kind of love I wanted to have.

Eventually, I did hear the term asexuality, but didn't really look into it. And for some odd inexplicable reason, didn't think it applied to me. It wasn't until I saw Laci Green's video on asexuality awareness, that it finally clicked. I was in my early 40's by then. And it clicked hard. Suddenly I understood that all those super close friendships I'd had in the past were actually relationships, and why it always felt like a break up when they ended. Because it was. I felt very sad, that I didn't understand these were my partner relationships at the time.

Despite that, I still get confused about my relationship now. Because I still have a hard time talking about it. Only in the past year have I started to explore the gradations of asexuality, and trying to understand where I fit on the spectrum and how that applies to my past and current relationships. And I've learned a few things.

I am not interested in sex, which I already knew, but I do want and need some contact, mostly this involves casual touching in a nonsexual way and hugs. Cuddling or a chaste kiss at most. And that's generally all that my fantasies consist of. However, I have also started exploring my body, working past the shame of my religious upbringing, and found I do like to masturbate. Though I don't have a strong need for it. But it does feel nice, and it's cool, if really late, that I've discovered that and that it's ok for an asexual person to like it, even though I'm not interested in sex with anyone.

It's been a long hard slow journey in figuring this out. I suspect it was made harder by my puritan/baptist upbringing and the associated shame and self hatred around sex. in the last few months, I've begun to wonder if part of my aversion to men, is that I'm scared of them. I don't really know why. But yes, there is a part of me that is scared of men. And so, trying to figure things out continues for me. And hopefully, I'll figure this aspect out and how it applies to my sexuality in time as well, hopefully it won't be decades from now.

So yes, when your assigned sex and gender don't match there is going to be a lot of confusion, if you're one of the much less talked about or even acknowledged sexualities, then it's going to be even more confusing. It's hard to know what you are if you don't know such a thing is possible. This was true for being trans, I thought I was alone and their were no words for what I was, until I learned about transgender people. And the same holds true for sexuality. Life is weird and confusing, and it's made harder when we don't, as a society, talk about all the ways it presents in a positive and affirming way.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

mr s i have a tmi question: since u hve experiences with casual sex, i was wondering how one... eases another person into it? as an awkward ace person ive certainly had opportunities to get into it but ive just refused bc im not rly into it, yknow? so my actual question is if u had any advice on how to initiate w ppl u know irl without sounding too forward? (i guess? u can tell i have no idea how any of this works lol lack of attraction is difficult to navigate)

That's a good question. I don't think it's TMI, lol. It's more just a relationship question to me, haha. Either way, I'm down to talk about it!

First story time, just for shits and giggles:

It depends on who you're having casual sex with, obviously. Some people I've heard of having hard, specific rules and some people have a similar experience to me where it was just... super casual. If there was anything up, we would just talk. We were friends. It's fun. It feels good. It's all chill, y'know?

I've had had a friends with benefits type relationships with two people--both women.

The first time it happened, we had been forming a friendship for a little bit, but we weren't super close or anything. Once, she straight up asked me if I was a virgin (which, in general, yuck, I dislike that terminology so much but whatever) when we were hanging out alone. That dissolved into conversation about sex in general. We came to the conclusion that we were both sex positive and both enjoyed sex. She told me that she had missed sex since she'd broken up with her boyfriend a while ago and hadn't gone out and hooked up with people after or anything. She didn't want to go out and just hook up. Fair enough.

I, half as a joke, half, just, why not said that we could have sex if she ever felt like it. We were friends, and I didn't want to date her, but we got along well so far, plus she was pretty. Why not?

She laughed at first, then asked me if I was serious at all. I told her, yeah, sure, if she wanted to. And... things kind of went from there.

We still talk sometimes, but she moved away, and while I have a lot of friends that are long distance so I'm fine texting and calling. It's not her speed. I have no hard feelings about it. If I'm ever where she is or she's here, I'm sure we'll get together to hang out.

And screwing around with her wasn't an all the time, like, weekly thing. We never met up specifically to fuck around, we would just hang out and then end up fucking occasionally.

(She was a fucking bomb kisser and I have to say she wore very pigmented makeup that would sometimes run and I- I can not tell you how much of A Thing I have for ruining pretty girl's makeup (or anyone's makeup for that matter 😏). It just looks so good messed up. Especially lipstick or eyeshadow/mascara. Jesus.)

The second time it happened, I met this woman in class, so we weren't friends prior. Friendly. But I didn't know her too well. We had talked in class, just chatting, and she emailed me for help on a few assignments because we were put into a cohort for peer-review stuff. Her voice was, just, gorgeous. And she was really smart. She wants to be a teacher. I could probably listen to her to talk for hours. Maybe if we'd gotten to know each other better, we could've dated or something, but we didn't. She graduated at the end of the term and moved onto her new, post-college life. I totally get it.

Anyway, she would compliment me here and there--she liked my hair, my eyes, the rings I wear, and some other stuff. She was really pretty herself, so I'd just reciprocate. Not exactly flirting but also not not flirting, haha.

I asked her if she had a partner, between asking about her life, generally, after we'd finished our work for peer review stuff once. She said she didn't and she asked if she could kiss me. I told her that sounded good. So we kissed, and then we actually went back to working, lmao. No funny business.

We kissed more the next time we met up outside of class. Literally, just taking a break from studying.

And, I don't know... dating never came up? It was one of those situations where we were alone and were kissing and more or less doing some heavy petting. Then it seemed just like it'd be a good time to keep going and I do like eating pussy, so I offered, she said yes. She actually complimented me on my skills the same way she had complimented me before and I laughed because... who wouldn't? She was sweet.

Then, the next time we got together, she asked if I'd do it again. She exchanged phone numbers and fucked around a few more times. Not too many times, though.

Funnily enough, I think my favorite thing that happened between us was when we were in class, and I licked my lips because... yeah. Sometimes you do. And she jabbed her fingers into my side to make me stop 💀💀 I choked, trying not to laugh too hard in front of everyone (and we did go to her car after class 👀).

(Also, I just have to confess that she was so, so good. She would stay still if I told her to, even when I went down on her. She also would stay basically silent if I told her to make not sounds, no matter what I did to her 👀 It was fucking incredible.)

Second, advice:

Again, it depends on the person. Some people want the straightforward version where there is an agreement, a conversation, and some people probably are more just about letting things flow naturally.

If you feel like you want a direct conversation, it might be better to just have that direct conversation so you can find someone who wants the same thing, so there would be the least amount of confusion possible. If you're content to let it flow... I don't know. That's harder. You can wait for conversations that shift in the direction of sex or push conversations that way.

I mean, maybe don't go, "hey, have you heard of this thing called causal sex? We should do that!" But you also could. Whatever you feel like.

If someone doesn't want to or refuses, that's them. They're allowed to say no. Try not to feel too defeated or rejected. There's a million reasons someone might not want to. It doesn't need to be a result of something with you. Y'know? (Not that I think you'll have a problem with that, knowing you've turned down causal sex yourself.)

If I were you, though, I think I might go for the direct conversation. Being on the ace spectrum makes sexuality different from allosexual people, obviously, and if you're going to fuck around with allosexual people it may come in handy to lay out, hey, this is what's going on with me, these are the feelings I have.

The people I've casually fucked have all known that I have a weird thing with sex where there needs to be some type of kink or power dynamic or something more than just strictly "vanilla sex" for me to be interested because... I don't know, that's just how I work 🤷🏻‍♂️ That and I'm not immediately in for being gotten off during sex. Sure, it's nice, but I'd much rather be getting the other person off. It's just more fun. And having said those things out loud to those women, it was much more fun because of that.

In conclusion... did I help? Or did I just tell you stories about the people I've fucked? I don't know. Hopefully, I helped. Or, hopefully, I at least gave you something to think about.

P.S. Everyone is awkward, you'll be okay, sweetheart!

[preciouslandmermaid]

like look at my past relationships

first serious boyfriend was incredibly disrespectful to me/our relationship, would regularly sext/text inappropriate things to his ex-girlfriend while we were dating/living together, one time he lied about having a job (because he had gotten fired + didn't want to tell me) and literally still LEFT FOR "WORK" EVERY MORNING FOR LIKE TWO WEEKS??? until his dad eventually called him out/noticed something was strange, often spent all his money on drugs/left me to cover the rent, shamed + belittled me for my lack of sexual experience (insane)

then the next one strung me along for months (but also like girl get up. i should've left him like we were not emotionally compatible lmao), and then he just...could not....commit to moving the relationship "forward" (ex: we had been dating for 2ish years, i wanted to live together, he kept making excuses as to why we couldn't live together yet.) i always sort of felt like our relationship was stuck in some sort of juvenile phase.

then i was in a poly triad with the non-committal boyfriend and his hook-up/friend from college. i realized relationship patterns were a bit too toxic for me, said i needed a break from the intense/romantic/sexual stuff, and the other girl told my boyfriend to break-up with me. (we did not have veto powers in this poly triad. so it was lowkey INSANE of her to even do this + take away his agency). my boyfriend broke up with me + then realized the icky-ness of the situation + begged for us to get back together and live together.

poly triad was dissolved. i could not stomach being friends with my ex-girlfriend right away (because i was still upset by the whole her telling my bf to break up with me and him listening lmao). my boyfriend says he wants to be friends with our ex. i say ok 'cause like...it's ur life bro.

boyfriend breaks up with me to be with her. AGAIN. ?!??!!

roughly 4 to 5 years later (? don't quote me on that), i meet someone who does CLASSIC love-bombing, which obviously felt great after spending 3 years with someone who literally could not commit to me/our relationship growth. oh and he dumped a bunch of his childhood trauma on me on the first date (red flag). he starts acting really controlling, gets upset that i'm talking to other men in social situations, gets upset that i'm talking to my friends, tries to manipulate me into having sex w/ him (this does not work), flips out/screams at me during our breakup, then comes back like weeks later thinking we are 'getting back together cuz he has been working on himself'. (chat, he was not working on himself. he was just hoping i'd change my mind).

like do ya'll see what i've worked with ?? like hello??

like i'm actually in a relationship that is progressing at a normal rate. like, we met each other in september-ish, and then we didn't even start referring to one another as partner/bf/gf or whatever until mid-november. like that's over a whole month. BUT it didn't feel like i was being strung along or anything, like, if anything I was the more trepidations/nervous one because i didn't want to put labels on anything "too soon."

[cryptometaphor]

Or like, we're discussing inceldom and how it relates to socialism because all this Kamala talk really is just code for incels when they say weird.

ACP Admin: Incels are inherently reactionary. Like. I'm not saying there isn't truth to what they say. I'm a man, I know it sucks. But like...

Me: So you'll cater to racists, Anti-Semitism, even xenophobia, but not incels. Why is that? What's the difference between saying Jews suck vs women suck?

ACP Admin: Well for one, women don't own the banks. Secondly, there's a difference supporting nationalism for self-determination vs just blatant hatred because you're mad about your unfair circumstances.

Sarah: I hate women too. I do think it's our neoliberal upbringing that's made them so atrocious, but misandry is a real thing. Honestly I think the only good woman has to have circumstances that circumvent their misandry nature. Like being born with disability or autism.

Me: I am fine with planned eugenics. Reverse eugenics. Uglos, downs syndrome, Hellen Keller motherfuckers... All get to reproduce. Normies no.

Sarah: lol!

Me: Some exceptions like Liz. She's brain damaged but doesn't get to reproduce anyway.

Sarah: Ruthless

ACP Admin: Most women don't even want to reproduce that's the problem the west is having.

Me: Yeah until they're 30. Than it's WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD MEN GONE?!

Sarah: Imma be like 60 by the time I reproduce at this rate.

Me: Ohhhh it'll build character for our little hellspawn. He'll cut through the cobwebs of your canal fighting off velociraptors and shit. He'll be a warrior. With like ten different kinds of autism.

Sarah: My vagina has cobwebs and velociraptors? lol

Me: Well not right NOW I'm still putting it in there regardless

Sarah: You better

ACP Admin: I'd rather not think about your vagina or for that matter either of you having sex. I hate both of you lol

Me: Under communism, there won't be onlyfans. Only haters. Where like, the kulaks are tied to a chair clockwork orange style forced to watch me and Sarah have intercourse and they don't have sex. You know, cause they're too busy being tied to the cuck chair.

Incel friend I invited: Horrifying lol

ACP Admin: Porn as a punishment isn't the W you think it is Jim.

Sarah: This is true. There's already humiliation porn.

Me: Fuck. I really can't comprehend the mind of a gooner.

Sarah: I like that though.

Me: I like you. Sarah: I like you.

Incel: This was about who the fuck is gonna like ME

Me: We will get you a wife.

Incel: You say that...

Me: I mean... Sarah: At least under socialism you'd get free shit.

Incel: "You're dying alone, here's a free t-shirt."

Sarah: Esnackly.

ACP Admin: God, don't say ensackly like Jim does lol

Me: Under the labor theory of value, women would have to flirt with YOU

Incel: How?

Me: If they don't, they would owe you reimbursement for the effort of skibidi-rizzing. Why do you think I tell everyone to pay me crypto? It's unrealized earnings.

Sarah: Couldn't the same be said for women if they have to endure being flirted with by a sub8?

Incel: YEAH wait, I'm agreeing with a woman...fuck

Me: Ok but maybe that's the trick. See, they Spiderman point at each other of "you owe me for bothering to look in your general direction" "well you owe me for giving me the ick" and they both slap their phones punching numbers of how much crypto the other knows them, and in all of the dialectics... They make out. Make love.

Sarah: Just... Just gonna use dialectics like the word Smurf ok lol

Incel: Not everyone thinks like you do Jim

Me: THEY SHOULD

ACP Admin: Jim encapsulates Steiner egoism.

Me: I mean at the very least you gotta admit I'm bringing incels into the stratosphere of legitimate dialogue. Not just "there's plenty of fish in the sea" more like from the river to the sea.

Incel: Inshallah

ACP Admin: What if some incel wanted Sarah?

Sarah: Yeah hon lol

Me: I own you, fuck them.

Incel: OWNERSHIP?! UNDER COMMUNISM?!

ACP Admin: Tbf, communism says you can't own private property, not private things. Like, if someone came and stole my GameCube, that's still theft.

Sarah: I'm a thing. Me: My thing. The greatest thing ever.

Sarah: You're my thing too. Me: I love you.

Sarah: I love you more.

Incel: This still doesn't make me any promises. Like this is fun and all but...

Me: Well dude, like Sarah said. You'd at least get free shit and a better life and the struggle wouldn't be so hard. Like, a lot of what makes loneliness so unbearable is the facade you gotta put on meanwhile. You think I'm bitter towards my exes because I can't find anybody? No. I'm bitter because without saying the words, they say it in their actions "dance nigger. Dance for the camera of life where you work, feel the pressures of a self loathing, self deprecating society, every moment of every day makes you wanna do acts of terrorism, and something so simple as another human being loving you isn't guaranteed." Like, different circumstances wouldn't make me so bitter. Like, do I sound bitter right now?

Sarah: I mean you do sound kinda bitter lol

Incel: For real.

Me: I'm a mean guy what can I say lol. But the fact remains. I got my friends here, I got a girlfriend...

Sarah: I better be more than just a girlfriend

Me: Oh... Yes ms commissar lol

Sarah: MRS commissar... (We're both laughing)

ACP Admin: (groans in disgust)

Me: What I'm trying to say man is if we as a civilization threw GameCubes, and booze, and opportunities your way. Well, the red pill would be correct. They're always saying oh just lift bro, have hobbies bro, we need a controlled economy that'll provide you those things. Not pretend you. You're not gonna get banned from your call of duty servers, you're going to have a good job, you're going to have therapy you can get for free, you're going to have...

Sarah: I agree with all of this but uhh... YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN ANY OF THAT JIM lol

Incel: This is true. You've made it plainly clear you want the least amount of people to have.

Me: I just don't think at the end of the day you'd accept it even if it was offered to you. Like maybe not you personally. But like look at Liz. It was right in the palm of her hands. Dropped the ball, walked away, didn't look back. People wanna be miserable? I'll give them something to be miserable about. I love democracy.

Sarah: She scratched a liberal, and a fascist bled.

Me: Esnackly.

Incel: Well I wouldn't drop the ball

Me: THAN YOU'LL BE FINE

Incel: I'M NOT FINE this is literally just Joel Osteen preaching with more autism.

Sarah: Oh God don't say that...

Me: You think I'm like Joel Osteen?

ACP Admin: Oh you did it now lol

Sarah: God damn it Axel! Now Jim is gonna suck your dick!

ACP Admin: Guess he won't be an incel anymore

Incel: I don't wanna get fucked by a guy lol

Me: I'm not gonna suck his dick lol

Sarah: Better not. That mouth belong to me.

ACP Admin: Jim we've discussed this before. Will you admit you're at least open to the idea of homosexuality?

Axel: Why is everyone trying to get Jim to fuck me?

Me: I know right?

ACP Admin: I'M SAYING whenever Jim's heterosexuality is put into question, he never actually proves he wouldn't do gay shit. He just kind of deflects.

Me: It's called I'm comfortable in my sexuality and don't feel the need to prove anything.

ACP Admin: Ok than just say it. "No, I wouldn't fuck Axel."

Me: Well I mean if I were gay, Axel is a handsome man.

Axel: GOD DAMN IT

Sarah: Axel, take back what you said about the Osteen thing or imma kick you lol

Axel: The fuck did I do?!

Me: I'm not gonna fuck Axel babe lol

Sarah: You'd be kissing on me and whisper with your lips "later..." Winking at him from behind. You're that guy lol

Axel: Ahhhhhhh

Me: Nah. I'm happy with what I have. I know you'd never leave me.

ACP Admin: Ok see, again, I reiterate... You never say "No, I wouldn't do that", you say "I wouldn't do that because..."

Me: It's the autism

ACP Admin: No it's not. You're just a slut lol

Sarah: You are kind of a slut hon lol

Me: I'm your slut doh. Sarah: Oh I know lol

Axel: I feel violated. Me: Oh you'll be fine.

[kn0ckkn0ckneo]

forward motion. no friction to slow me down & no gravity to pull me down. i have a headache, my eyes feel heavy, perhaps from all the crying i did today, but i feel like i've been put in the washing machine on rinse mode all day.

by this point in my life i've understood that most things don't make sense & they aren't meant to. they're just meant to be. i know i'm not the only one experiencing this transmuting energy. today especially, November 8th, i feel that something has shifted on a mass level. scorpio season, an eclipse coming up soon & today... the 8th. the number 8 is a transformative state of being. it is ruled by pluto who also rules scorpio; sex, death, rebirth & taxes, amongst other things.

my whole life from a certain time back up until now, i've met very interesting & powerful people. by powerful i mean in all ways, both magical & material wise. what i'd like to understand about this is why? what is the reason for this? it is truly beyond me why i attract people w/such power & that they always listen to me. they always come to me for advice, always ask for my help in decision making & they become very attached to me. they are always much older than i am, yet when they stand before me they take off their masks of authority & responsibility & become vulnerable. they look like lost lambs looking for their shepard.

it's quite strange how i am experiencing loss all around me, but not directly towards me. one of my close friend's cat has cancer & will be put down tomorrow. today i said goodbye to my only close friend in cabo because she's moving back to our old city. my landlord who has become quite fond of me is going through a divorce & spiritual awakening. this man, despite all of the horrible things he says he has done, who he has been & what he believed in, did not scare me. he has a lot of power in the town i live in & somehow for some reason i was brought here. he owns two wolves. two real, wild wolves.

there is one thing that frightens me a bit & that is the drastic changes these people of power start making in their lives when they meet me. i'm going to share something that most would take as lunacy; i've always wanted to start a cult. i've always wanted to live in a small community in the middle of nowhere. to be surrounded by people with similar spiritual beliefs. surrounded by people who are against capitalism & want to create a new world. people who understand the meaning of love & the power it has. i am beginning to realize how much i want to find my soul tribe, my soul family as opposed to connecting w/a life partner. very strange changes are happening inside of me, but i also feel more real, more me everyday. i can see everything. sex no longer appeals to me. i find no pleasure in dressing seductively, on the contrary; i almost feel repulsed by it. i've been manifesting my breasts to shrink in size & for this i've been fasting. i don't want to be perceived as a sexual object. i want to be perceived for the love i have inside. in actuality, i don't quite care what i am perceived as, but i do know i don't want to be sexualized. i am a being. a being of love.

[aeaeaexxzd]

Housemate vent post, I need to talk shit about them.

First theres the obvious, our rooms are next to one another, we share a wall, I can hear them having sex all the time, it was funny haha silly awkward at first but now it's just annoying, especially when I'm trying to go to sleep and when I'm waking up. It's not like I can ask them to schedule their banging for when I'm not around, it is why I end up staying at friends places very late, in the hopes that they take the opportunity of my absence to be as loud as they want. Thank god for my noise cancelling headphones, except I can't sleep with them on my head.

They're always fucking coughing ??????????????? This winter has felt sooooooo unbelievably long. I too had the sniffles at some point but like it's march and we live in the south. Seriously what is up with their immune systems, maybe see a doctor ? I guess that vegan oatmilk diet paired with the excessive vitamin tablets I always see lying around isn't enough to keep them healthy...full shade to vegans everywhere btw. It's also funny because they're always the ones to open the windows when it's cold outside and I'm always the one turning the heating on. We literally don't pay rent we are squatting so it's beyondddddd me why they don't take advantage of that. Once I even heard them say 'gosh it's hotter in the apartment than it is outside' like that's a weird thing ???? Like it was winter a few weeks ago. I'd sure hope it's fucking warmer in the place we live than the outside. Go fucking camping or something if you crave contact with the cold air so badly. So yeah anyways, they're constantly having coughing fits while also always leaving the windows open. And no it's never been covid, and no i've never caught what they have.

One of them always, alwaaayyyysss comments on the smell of weed whenever I smoke or I'm smoking with friends in the living room. They've said several times that they stopped smoking so I don't offer anymore. And I always ask "does it bother you, we can go somewhere else" and they always reply no. And I keep the window open just a bit when we do smoke, so I don't get it, not to mention I don't cut with tabacco. They stopped smoking but occasionally incorporate weed in their recipes so I don't really understand their take on the substance. but "WO W IT SURE SMELLS LIKE WEED IN HERE." every time. every time. Please.

They have two cats that I get along with more than them. I feel like I know more about cat behavior than them. I think they also know this and resent me for it in a weird way because it's like their children. They keep their door closed shut at night so the kitties come in my room. I'm the one who opens the building door for them to go outside, early in the morning (I don't live in "america" where cats are "dangerous for the ecosystem" or whatever nonsense, both these cats would have killed each other if they weren't able to run around outside in the garden everyday, and they stay inside at night). I've clearly bonded with the creatures and they know this, so much so that in the beginning they'd joke I was their new owner. they joke about it anymore.

Probably the worst thing for me was when I left for two weeks to go on holidays. It coincided with a weekend they were going to spend away, so no one would be at the apartment. They took the opportunity that I was going to be away for a while, to shit on me in the group chat. I'm a very clean person. I always do my dishes and I'm always cleaning something or another in the apartment. They know this. It didn't stop them from sending passive agressive texts about the dishes not being done once, after they got back from their trip. They got really mad for no fucking reason, about the apartment being messy and the cats being outside when they got back. Instead of communicating like adults, they sent some very petty messages. Instead of playing into their pissing contest, I simply apologized and explained I had left to the airport in a hurry on the morning I left and hadn't had the time to clean. The whole thing made me extremely uneasy, and we still haven't talked about it, but ever since I got back I've just been doing the dishes way more, including their dishes. They know how sensitive I am, which is why I felt so horrible when they sent such agressive messages. I could never confront them about this though. Our interactions are just very limited now, probably for the better.

Also, it used to be just me and my one roommate. Who then got a girlfriend, who started hanging out a lot at ours, then sleeping over constantly, until my roommate asked me, very non-officially, if she could move in with us. I said yes, but saying no wouldn't have changed much, considering she practically already had. At first it was alright, but now that there's been all this tension, I feel like an extra thing that they'd rather be rid of. It's unpleasant, so I try to make myself as small as possible. Which sometimes still doesn't feel like enough.

There's also the whole thing with our 'landlords'... this is my first time being in this kind of situation, and since we all live here together I wish we'd communicate more and sort things out in case shit hits the fan, which we don't really... I don't want to get into detail because it's so god awfully complicated and legally I don't think I should share much info. But anyways, I needed to get these things off my chest. Overall it's fine and I'll deal with it. I mean who gives a shit about coughing and loud sex.

[meangan-thee-lesbian]

Firstly, the one post I respectfully request people not to @ me about and here y'all are attin

But secondly, y'all seemed to have hopped on this post with the intent of tryna to start arguments which ain't there, and I'm fairly accustomed to that irt gold star lesbian discourse, but it also bores the shit outta me, so y'all both getting blocked after this bc I literally do not care enough to entertain this pointless reaching.

This post was about the near universal experience of repulsion to men most gold star lesbians share, that non-gold star lesbians do not. I don't care what non-gold star lesbians want to describe their experience as, y'all can call it uncomfortable, you can call it repulsion, idgaf, but if you managed to 'push yourself through' sex w men, then it ain't on the same level as most gold star lesbians' experience. From my POV, where I'd sooner get a bullet to the head than fuck a man, y'all who did in fact fuck a man do look indifferent from where I'm standing. Disagree with it, idc, non-gold star opinions on it are irrelevant to me.

I also really hate the assumption non-gold stars been labouring under that any lesbian who has only ever been with women just ended up in such a circumstance through a lucky confluence of 'self-awareness' or 'having boundaries' or 'going to an all girls school' or whatever other situational quirk completely seperated from our sexuality. I hate to break it to y'all but most gold star lesbians were not birthed straight out the vagina with hairy pits, a loud mouth and lesbian stamped on their forehead. If you actually listened to gold star lesbians for one lil second, you'd find %99 of us put it down to our visceral repulsion to men, which sees most of us rather throw ourselves into the homophobic hellfire of our circumstances than ever give dick a go. Many women do in fact lose their friends, their family, their jobs, their autonomy and sometimes even their lives before trying men. You having to have some drinkies to go through with it is not the same experience. And it's super annoying to have non-gold stars always dismissing our experience and tryna tell us who we are.

Next, straight women do not 'all have bad sex and relationships devoid of romance with men', bisexual women do not 'mostly date women' and 'women who sleep with men when they're horny or bored' are definitely not indifferent to men and are definitely not lesbians. Those are just some facts. You can harp on all day about how abusive and terrible all heterosexual relationships are, but at the end of the day the reason why more bisexual women in fact end up with men is because pursuing men is still easier and safer than pursuing women. I don't even know how all these topics got inserted in here tho, it's so irrelevant lmao y'all tried to go on a tangent about how you don't understand what the word indifferent means and ended up in a whole other discourse.

Finally, I have no beef with the first reblog, actually that was my main point, how even in adulthood, years after the fact of coming out (or being outed), gold star lesbians are still treated as pariahs by the majority of lesbians who view trying men and having kids as the only measure of maturity, and remain resolutely oblivious to the specific experience of gold star lesbians (as this thread demonstrates tbh).

Anyway, like I said, this needless nitpicking of anything related to gold star lesbians annoys the shit outta me. Y'all know what I meant and chose to come in here being obtuse anyway. Get your own post, this one's mine.

I’m just riffing here, so don’t @ me, but I’ve been thinking about different lesbian experiences (and specifically about how my experience as a gold star lesbian is often side-lined and demonized) and it’s sort of just occurred to me that probably most lesbians are merely disinterested in men, rather than sharing the same visceral repulsion for males as I do. And I guess because safe spaces for lesbian discussion are few and far between I’ve just never seen this distinction really talked about. 

Like, the overarching definition of a lesbian is a female exclusively attracted to other females. It doesn’t really matter what way you feel about men, besides being unattracted to them ofc. So theoretically I can understand how a lesbian who is merely disinterested in men could have had a boyfriend, or even a husband and kids, because she thought bad sex and no romance was just a woman’s lot in life. I can understand that, and if that’s your situation so be it, but I can’t relate to it.

For me, the idea of just ‘trying men’ is like the idea of just ‘trying a goat’. No amount of bullying or ostracism or even beating the shit outta me is going to convince me to fuck a goat. Or a man lmao Because I’m biologically hard-wired on the deepest level to find that shit extremely repellent. That doesn’t make me more or less of a lesbian, because being a lesbian is simply about exclusive attraction to women, but it also doesn’t mean I deserve to be made a pariah out of it.

I never see lesbians talking about the specific experience of being repulsed by males. And it is a specific experience. You can’t just hide behind a boyfriend in high school. You can’t just pretend to yourself that you’re a normal heterosexual girl. Maybe you don’t even know you’re a lesbian yet, but you’re quickly gonna find out you’re a weirdo when all your friends are talking about how hot men are and you’re just there like ‘lol tf??’ Then you get past high school (hopefully) and you gotta contend with every other lesbian having kids and baby daddies and treating you like you’re immature bc you ain’t never tried men and ain’t raised no children. There’s just this constant awareness that, even among lesbians, you’re ‘different’. And I just never see that perspective in the media or talked about or anything. Unless it’s to say how lesbians like me are evil and need to shut up or whatever.

But anyway, that’s just my anecdotal tale. Take it or leave it.