#because I feel like I’ll explode

[mylittledelulucorner]

January 30/01/2025 (trauma dumping, sorry)

Had the most terrible 3 weeks ever. January really gripped me by my hair and swung me around like a rag doll and this month is still not over. My mental health is to be located in the basement, I feel useless. I’ve been crying nonstop the last past days...I miss my happy laughing self… I’m disconnected, the dark circles underneath my eyes are an indication of how broken my sleeping schedule is. Been crying more than sleeping…

I really thought that you know new year, new me. The universe really said hold that thought because I’m about to fuck you up. There goes my hope…

My mind is all over the place and I actually want to cry again. But I can’t, mom pleaded to me, begged me to try to get better and forget everything. Seeing me down like this is making her cry. She is the only reason why I’m still alive. If I committed the act of taking my own life, my mom would be sad and with the amount of things she went through I think she would go insane. So that’s my only reason to be here my mom and my siblings. I need to find more reasons to live because right now I can’t even give you 2 reasons to be happy.

Not only am I suffering mentally but also physically. Yay to my fucking life, 27 years old and haven’t accomplished anything, 27 years of question marks.

Fled from war at young age, stuck at a refugee shelter for most of my childhood, felt like prison. Not capable to make friends at a younger age because how am I supposed to communicate when I spoke an other language. I feel like an imposter all the time, went to a catholic uniform school just to be bullied because I’m an immigrant, made fun of how I look… alone, isolated (but I can’t tell my mom that, she risked her life to give me a better one). Dad died when I needed him the most, Mad at God, depression, hate, feeling ugly, sadness, jealousy... when can I catch a break?

I really thought 2025 would be different. It feels like someone up there is mocking me for holding hope for a better future.

I’m tired, mentally and physically exhausted, emotionally drained.

[ropes3amthoughts]

To my homies who encouraged me to get Twitter, thank you so much. There are so many gorgeous Kabrus there and the overall Kabru content is plentiful. Also I just saw this absolutely divine jawdropping enchanting gorgeous stunning beautiful Kabru art and I am in a state of shock. Like look at this holy shit?????? Like click on the link and click on the image and zoom in on the details and stuff this is so incredible. I mean you don’t have to but this is so good and I’m losing my mind and there are so many little details you won’t see unless you zoom in so I recommend it.

For anyone looking quickly this is not my art it belongs to the Twitter user in the link and it’s so good I would recommend looking at it

https://x.com/Neruchiru_08/status/1841319033632862418

I get insane under the cut

It’s been like 4 hours and I cannot stop thinking about it. Every time I stand up I start shaking. I feel nauseous and am coughing constantly. I feel like I am choking. That image will be burned into my brain for a very long time. Why doesn’t Twitter let you reblog with really long comments I need to say a million compliments. My voice is cracking. My heart is hammering. I’m warm and sweaty. Holy shit I am fagging it up bro. It’s beautiful as an art piece because the composition and colors and stuff are absolutely amazing and it’s beautiful if you’re queer (or straight and like Kabru too) because Kabru looks so good. His shoulders are showing and something about Kabru’s shoulders showing makes me insane. Like I thought the whole “you can’t show your shoulders” dress code thing in school was a bunch of dumb bullshit but oh boy I understand now. Every time I see Kabru’s shoulders I think “I want to bite that man” and then I’m all like “WOW who just thought that” but it’s me I’m thinking that I’m going insane over him I want to bite his shoulders he makes me crazy he’s so pretty oh goodness wow oh wow oh wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww IM GOING INSANE a lot more people have seen it now but I need to show this to everyone you guys don’t understand how this makes me feel I’m going to pass away and fall over and cry you guys look pretty Kabru art guys guys it’s Kabru being gorgeous oh my fucking god guys guys I am going to be sick guys oh god guys do you see him he’s so pretty guys guys guys holy shit dude guys. I am an enjoyer of the arts. I enjoy this art. For sure. Wow. Awesome. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. I am going to lose my mind. Ough. Guys. Guys guys guys. Do you????:!: seee????? The Kabru??????? Oh my god. Compliments to the artist. Beautiful. Beautiful lovely fantastic work. Awesome. This is great. I’m losing it. I showed my discord friends and I reblogged on Twitter and stuff but I wanted to show you guys too because I am a big fan of this beautiful Kabru art. I love this insanely much. Kabru fish…I love this creature the Kabru fish. Great 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 chat I am gonna die this is too beautiful Ough beautiful Kabru

I’m being so dramatic you guys but do you understand the power this art has do you understand my feelings I love this art so much 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kabru 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Kabru fish 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 gorgeous 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[hana-bobo-finch]

spent the evening drawing a little something to commemorate my first time playing hollow knight

just entered greenpath and I LOVE the ambiance of it, i really couldn’t do it justice here

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

thinking priest!geto thoughts again :(((

you’re both a little rotten . it’s a stench that sticks to your skin and you can smell it off each other. there’s a certain kind of bond that only blooms between people who know the each other’s smile is fake, you know? and there’s a kind of trauma that lingers and rots and sticks to your bones and you can hide it with layers of clothing or heavy robes but people who have felt it themselves will always spot the signs . do you see what i’m saying. there’s something special between you when he says he loves his god and you know that he’s lying. there’s something special when you say you couldn’t care less if god thinks you’re sinful and he knows that you’re lying . because you can both smell it off each other. the sickening rot .

[bpdknives]

the hardest challenge is surviving this week when you have splatoon autism

[eebi-after-hours]

totally a nothing thought & purely me just needing to get it out somewhere (the brainrot…) , but the amount I think about that little clip where Dorothy starts losing her ever loving mind over the idea of a “dangerous and forbidden” (age gap | teacher/student) relationship is CRIMINAL. Like girl???? I know EXACTLY what you are and what you want lmfao??? cannot believe this info is canon … v dangerous info to place in my hands /j

but from Dorothy????? like when has she ever been that openly flustered … oh my god. Ummm okay. Loud & clear girl 🫡

[ryderdire]

Does anyone else get REALLY overwhelmed really fast when someone starts talking to you with your headphones on?

[adxmanial]

—

[strawberryfaced]

I NEED. TO DO. OR MAKE SOMETHING. PLEASE

[libraryfullofnonsense]

i don’t consume media… it consumes me

[biocrafthero]

I’m too gamer for this… so I went to the floor boss to wait until it kills the party

[autism-disco]

music(als) (screaming)

falsettos specifically (screaming louder)

[pebblezone]

I want her.

[stormloup]

Epic The Musical has grown on me in a way that my brain is now rotting and making me draw literal fanarts of Odysseus in class. l started rereading the Odyssey less than a week ago because of this musical and I’m almost finished reading it, and once that’s done be assured that I will be reading the Iliad.

[vampyrebellion]

JUST READ THE MOST LIFE ALTERING WILLIAM/ALECDORA FIC AND I FEEL THE NEED TO SHARE THIS EVEN THOUGH I DON’T EVER TALK ON HERE OMG

[lesbiansanemi]

Yeah there’s no coming back today I thought about it all too hard and now I want to walk into a river and never come out again