#because I don't want people to think this is me trying to recreate any real kind of tribal people

[pudding-parade]

The little starting "tribe" in the experimental "raiders" save, so far. The leader (second one from the left) has three mates and three kids now, two from the blonde one and one from the plantsim. She's gotten lucky with her "raiding" because she's gotten a plantsim and a witch (the one furthest to the left), both of which have definite advantages according to the save's rules. But, they could be stolen from her now that she has more than two, so she needs to continue to train Athletic and Martial Arts in order to "protect" them better. And if she doesn't...Well, that's how I get more "tribes" in this save. LOL

So far it's an all-female tribe except for the first-born, second from the right. Assuming that he lives long enough, he'll inherit the tribe when the leader dies. Then again, she could die the next time I play the save, so it's not like the heir has to live a long time. (The rules are pretty brutal. LOL)

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[thisisnotthenerd]

the thing that stuck out to me about this finale is the theme of new starts and redemptions

because it is a release for the gods in many ways. it is a release for the protagonists of the story we're following.

but in many ways it has turned into the reversal and softening of consequences/stakes that have dogged this campaign consistently.

a list of pulled punches/backtracks in the finale (in no particular order):

divine magic functioning exactly the same post-catatheosis. i think this contributes to bell's hells' reaction; if the magic is still there and the gods are gone, that still means it's okay, right? meanwhile people are grieving the loss of the beings that have defined their lives, especially in vasselheim. i guess this implies that the gods' energies have been tied to the world of exandria; those who attune to and hold faith in the particular creed of the deities can pull on their power as it was released into the world. or they pull purely from faith in other mortals, or smaller gods/beings. but they barely had any sympathy for those losing the object of their lives' purpose.

ashton sacrificing themself and not dying or losing any semblance of their powers. i get the sacrifice. i get the mirroring of fcg's sacrifice. i get wanting to go out with a bang. i also get bell's hells wanting him back. but what i want to know, is why exactly they had to be recreated with dunamis. why not be resurrected and have to grapple with the loss of that source of power and yet be in less pain because of it?

imogen (& the other ruidusborn) not losing power after predathos' release. yes i know why in the doylist sense. but it takes away the power of that decision if the source of the aberration in 'aberrant mind' goes away and nothing changes.

laudna being re-alived in a marriage ceremony/divine intervention. it feels like a little bit of a cop-out when her previous conversation with the matron implied work through time, but maybe that's just my interpretation. perhaps it's due to the reworking of magic and the expression of divine intervention.

bell’s hells threatening their way through vasselheim and getting zero flack for it even after they lost the leverage of predathos. i get the ��heroes of the realm’ thing. i get it. did they have to intimidate their way through as much of it as possible.

orym's pact. i get why it would have constituted a break; the way it was played off felt a little flippant. it would be one thing for it to be acknowledged as him escaping a real pact that he did get powers from. instead it's more of a comedic moment.

liliana not facing public scrutiny. maybe she did, but it really seems like she recovered and just walked away. i'm aware of what she went through as an audience member; i wish we had gotten to see what imogen vouching for her on trial would have looked like. for that matter, we don't really see a resolution of the ruby vanguard at all.

opal being partially released from the circlet. this one actually makes sense to me. not protesting this one. the spider queen can't live in the circlet all the time if she's in mortal manifestation. also, opal is fully still stuck with the crown.

vax and morrighan as champions of the matron. i do think the matron's actions fit. in this scenario, she's weighing the possibilities of her champions having to run her realm against her own experience and trying to spare them both the loneliness she herself felt. it fits. i take issue with her saying she kept him greedily, rather than what it was, which was a pact fairly made that he faithfully served, which she is adjusting in a moment of mercy at the end of the world as they know it.

the gods are back on exandria. it's been treated as a bit, with reminders of evil babies and what you could do to them. recall the last time they were there the time period was called the calamity. and also, can you imagine what the followers of either betrayer gods or prime deities would do knowing that the god who ostensibly opposed theirs was out there somewhere as a vulnerable mortal? they've started an ages-long arms race of who can find the reincarnated gods first. braius stepped away from asmodeus and was promised a lifetime of being followed for his betrayal, and yet ashton was literally followed more by the kryn dynasty.

it comes across as a lot of wish fulfillment without the legwork to get there. it's not that bell's hells haven't been through the worst and come back from it; it's that the closer we've come to a conclusion, the less it seems like bell's hells have had a stake in all of it.

even their conclusions: the primary goals have been freedom and adventuring.

vox machina's original epilogues came with grief, but also a level of responsibility to their communities (whitestone, zephrah, the faith of the everlight). they had fame from their exploits because they happened on a very grand scale.

the mighty nein's epilogues came with a resurrection, and the desire to live their lives to the fullest. as the 'heroes no one knows about', they were able to step down and live quieter lives. they pursued specific purposes, whether it's beau with the cobalt soul & caleb at the academy pursuing the assembly, fjord captaining his fleet and jester pursuing her art and faith, veth and her family and camp, kingsley as the plank king, caduceus stewarding the blooming grove, yasha tending her home, and etc.

the epilogues for bell's hells focus on them achieving individual goals of freedom to travel and adventure. sometimes they have a place where they settle, but it's generally undefined. it feels as though they're not done yet, because the finality is taken out with the stakes.

everyone lives happily ever after, and the world keeps spinning. it’s like a fluffy fix-it fic, except this is fully the canon of the world.

i’ll discuss my thoughts on the greater implications for exandria another day.

[therealvinelle]

I want to get into old movies (say 1930s to maybe 1980s) because I watched Casablanca and it was really good, so I followed it up with Sunset Boulevard (1950) which was also really good. Then a friend recommended Night of the Comet (1984) which was very different but really good too. I think the old movies which survived this long were better written then most of the stuff that comes out now.

Sooo... do you have any favorite old movies? Or just general recommendations (would also be interested in Muffin's recs if she's got any)

This is my third time typing this out for you... browser keeps reloading.

I do love older movies, you have come to the right place, @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin loves older movies too (I'm saying "older", not "old", since 1980's movies aren't old and I refuse to believe they are).

I'll give you my recs by genre, not decade.

And this list is really a list of the movies that came to mind as I sat down to type this, so please, please come back with a more specific request as 1930's-1980's really covers... most of the movies that have been made.

Action

Jaws Very famous movie, this is Henrik Ibsen's Enemy of the People but with sharks.

Terminator What do you do if you lose the war, but you have a time machine? Travel back in time to kill your enemy's mother before she can birth him. Meanwhile in the 1980's Sarah Connor is having a very bad day.

Epics, romance, biographical and historical (yes, I'm lumping these together)

Amadeus About a man who is not Mozart, and upset about the fact.

Bridge on the River Kwai One of my all-time favorite movies: man is torn between loyalty to his country, and building a great bridge (this is a misleading summary: he's not torn at all, bridge wins hands down). The ending is parodied in Tropic Thunder, if you've seen that movie.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) Sexy French aristocrats conspire to ruin each other's lives with sex.

Doctor Zhivago By my favorite director, this is a love story that really feels like Lawrence of Arabia if Lawrence was a woman and they were in Russia.

Godfather I and II Not overrated.

Lawrence of Arabia Man keeps trying to quit his job because sometimes all desert and no break from desert makes Lawrence a homicidal boy. Allenby says "Nonsenese, chap, you're doing wonderfully!" Cinematic history is made.

Horror and thrillers

The Exorcist I sometimes wonder if this movie should not have been made, because lesser movies have tried to recreate what Exorcist managed so well for decades, and all they've done is make bad movies that make me wish I was watching the Exorcist.

Nosferatu The year was 1922, no real precedent for copyright infringement had been had, and the producers of this movie which is definitely not Dracula by Bram Stocker were shocked and appalled they were... sued?? For theft of intellectual property? No!!! Coincidentally the most faithful adaptation of Dracula by Bram Stoker in existence. And free literally everywhere since it's 102 years old, you can watch this movie on its wikipedia page.

Sunset Boulevard While it's a well-known fact that a lot of silent movie actors and actresses were unable to adjust to the change when "talkies" were introduced, and they subsequently lost their careers, the window for casting one such washed up actress has long since closed. Sunset Boulevard, released in 1950, was able to do this however which makes it all the more meta and delightful.

Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? The only two people who hate each other more than the sisters this movie is about, were the actresses who played them. To the point of Joan Crawford sabotaging the movie's chances with the Oscars, because she hated Betty Davies that much (Betty Davies called her a stupid idiot for doing this).

Musicals

Fiddler on the Roof Just watch it.

My Fair Lady "The rain in Spain falls mainly on Henry Higgins because he's stupid."

Westerns

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kidd Fun romp about two charming criminals, and how good things don't always last.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly I frankly forget what the plot was for this one, I just remember having a great time watching it.

Foreign section

Det syvende innseglet (The Seventh Seal) A knight plays a game of chess with Death.

Jean de Florette + Manon des Sources French accountant moves to the countryside to farm rabbits, this does not go well for him. In the sequel, his daughter has gotten interesting.

La vita è bella (Life is Beautiful) When we watched this in Italian class I had to leave during the first half to go the school nurse, came back during the second half. Greatest whiplash of my life.

Ladri di bicicletta (Bicycle Thieves) Some poor fool looked at Italy after WWII and thought "I bet people want a depressing movie about poverty". The movie bombed, but it's very good and I recommend it.

Ran King Lear, but in Japan.

Veiviseren (Pathfinder) First ever Saami movie, based on an old legend. Strongly recommend.

Bonus: TV shows

Columbo (first two seasons only) Sometimes you're the cleverest little criminal in the world :) but there's a stupid man in a stupid coat who won't stop asking you stupid questions about things he shouldn't be so obsessed about because it's making you look guilty (which you are but he's being rude!)

I, Claudius Fantastic about the imperial Roman family in the Julio-Claudian dynasty. And available for free on youtube!

The Prisoner Unnamed man tries unsuccessfully to leave a beautiful village. You can watch the episodes in any order you like, doesn't matter, he's not getting out of that village.

Bonus: 90's movies

Goodfellas Hilarious, horrible, and so entertaining. A mafia movie about horrible people who like money.

Se7en One of the only noir movies I've liked, this is something of a comfort movie for me. This and Silence of the Lambs are mandatory yearly watches for me. Watch this and you'll finally get all those "WHAT'S IN THE BOX??" jokes.

Silence of the Lambs Possibly my favorite feminist movie, to the point where I sincerely believed this was appropriately described as a chick flic. It's the film where Clarice Starling discovers the only person who'll treat her like an equal is the serial killer cannibal.

The Usual Suspects Your parents have seen this movie, and it was huge for them.

Total Recall Just a great adaptation of one of my favorite short stories.

Unforgiven THE Western movie, what you should do is watch a bunch of Clint Eastwood Westerns and then wrap it up with this one because it's a sequel to all of them.

Bonus: directors to look for

Ingmar Bergman (watch his movies and discover a lot of the films you like are just remakes of his things)

Clint Eastwood (a lot of his movies are newer, but he's so good. You should watch his things, I promise you will find one you like.)

Blake Edwards (fantastic comedic director, same sense of humor as Muffin and myself if that tells you anything)

Alfred Hitchock (he's not in fact overrated)

David Lean (god of directors)

Pier Paolo Pasolini (huge name in Italian cinema)

Steven Spielberg (also not overrated)

Billy Wilder (Sunset Boulevard, among others. Hilarious director)

Please. Give me a more specific genre.

[raqi-marr]

HDG How-To: Class-E xenodrugs in real life

A while ago, I wrote one of my first posts on this blog about the experience of trying to recreate class-H's in real life by doing LSD. This was generally very successful, and having done it several more times since then, I can confidently say that if you want to feel like you are getting the floret brainwashing experience, LSD is a very good drug to do it with.

However, I recently had an unexpected and unplanned-for experience which has given me quite a lot of insight into what being on class-E's would probably be like in real life. My first exposure to anything that could be described as similar was when I started duloxetine (an anti-anxiety SNRI medication) last year. I can't actually remember super well what life was like before that any more, but my recollection is that after going on it, I noticed myself having substantially less intrusive thoughts/being less inclined to doom spiral about stuff any time I was unoccupied for more than 10 seconds. The entire experience was more complicated than that and deserves its own post some time, but it is also kind of boring and not all that class-E pilled so let me get to the good shit now

Yesterday, I was privileged enough to get to actually try cuddling another human being for the first time in my life (I say privileged because lord knows how many of us long distance relationship mfs go years without physical touch.) As it turns out, this shit makes SNRIs look like fucking sugar pills in comparison, because by the everbloom I have never been so fucking chilled out in my life as after an hour of getting held and squeezed by my partner

I have a bunch of anxiety conditions and am generally known by all my friends as That One Bitch With No Chill, so you can imagine my shock when, in the aftermath of this, I sat down at my chair and prepared to start worrying about how many jobs I have that I need to go and finish and how I probably did a shit job cuddling with my partner, and found that my brain just didn't feel inclined to do any of that stuff at all. Not just 'uninclined', but straight up refused to do it after repeated prompting from a very confused me

The best way I could sum up the experience was like someone had reached into Raqi_Settings.txt and set "anxiety_enabled = true" to "= false". It just did not work any more. This immediately reminded me of a couple scenes I'd read in HDG where pov chars get put on class-E's and just can't do that any more, and I started wondering "okay so wtf is happening to me, why did an hour of physical contact put me on fucking plommy-tier drugs"

The answer, which I figured I would share with everyone else who might be similarly inexperienced with the Terran capacity to self-synthesize xenodrugs, is oxytocin! If you're anything like me, you probably read 'oxytocin' and go "oh yeah that's the hormone that makes you feel all lovey and dopey around people, right?" and think that's more of a class-C thing. Well: yes, but also, apparently no; as it turns out, it does more stuff than that! A friend linked me this article describing the anxiolytic effects of oxytocin:

I am not a chemist so I'll be real: I don't understand this shit beyond the abstract, but the abstract seems to be all one really needs to get the main point here; namely, that oxytocin - in addition to being a bonding hormone - also makes you less stressed. A lot less stressed, it seems like.

So in essence, it seems as if Terrans synthesize their own class-E's from prolonged intimate physical contact. This strikes me as having a lot of potential HDG-coded play uses, and so I'll briefly go over a few of them below:

You can, at least theoretically, probably force someone to get less anxious just by (it'd have to be non-stressful, presumably, or this wouldn't work) physically restraining them and then snuggling with them lots

Have someone who chronically worries about stuff, and can't be convinced to chill out? Just turn their own body against them and make it drug them into forcibly relaxing! There's a lot of potential for very hot play in having someone who is very anxious and usually refuses comfort from their friends just getting forced to snuggle for a while, and the fact that if they don't break out of it, their brain is going to make them calm down adds a very fun con-noncon aspect to it.

I noticed while experimenting that the sound of someone's breathing/heartbeat is in fact very hypnotic, and I found myself naturally synchronising my own breathing with my partner's. This is probably about as close to core cuddles as it's possible to get irl.

Since oxytocin is also a class-C, you can bully whoever you're doing this to about how you are also forcing them to love and trust you in the process!

i am a dumb bitch who doesn't know how to stop working, and the thought of being forced to chill the fuck out by both physical and chemical means is very hot

The last thing I can think to note is that the general sensory overwhelm of being in such close proximity to another person also had a very strong quieting effect on my ADHD; which in turn made falling into a trance state not only easier, but automatic without any encouragement (oh yeah also I'm autistic and ime the sensory from getting squished tight is Very Good). the takeaway here being that it would probably be very easy to hypnotise someone who was being little spoon i think

So yes! I have not yet had the chance to experiment further with this, but I may make a follow-up post when I've had more time to come up with additional ideas. In general I just really like the idea that, if you're anxious, you can just go "hi hello please hold and squish me for an hour" and your brain responds with "understandable; disengaging anxiety module for the next 16 hours". all the memes about terrans being designed for touching were true it seems

[yuurei20]

Hi there! Quick question, How does Idia feel about Leona?? to me, they have such weird dynamic. They don't like each other but they don't outright hate each other either, but sometimes it feels like they're totally fine with each other?? Is this just a respect thing??

Hello hello!! This gets into character analysis which is definitely not my strength, so I reached out to one of the most knowledgeable Idia-analyzers I’ve ever seen ( @frost__tw ) who was so kind as to collaborate with me on this response, and I am forever grateful ♡

Also: agreed! Their dynamic is particularly fascinating because they are both complete opposites and extremely similar, simultaneously:

Both are housewardens, near the same height, canonically attractive, unusually intelligent, very sarcastic, enjoy chess, are from important families, keep others at a distance, often complain about having to go out of their way to do things they are uninterested in, have brother issues and won’t put effort into things they have predetermined to be impossible, which ties directly into how they are trapped in situations they can’t do anything about due to the circumstances of their birth.

And we also have their recently introduced titles (on JP server): “Ambitious King” and “King of the Underworld.”

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly how Idia feels about Leona, possibly because he doesn’t know very much about him (which is possibly because Leona doesn’t want him to).

During Book 6 he assumes that Leona isn’t suited to a leadership role, for example, despite how people who actually spend time with Leona say otherwise.

The two overlap in Idia’s second birthday vignette, where Leona gifts him with an artisanal chess set and the two pause the interview to play together.

They seem to mutually agree not to mention who won the game, and it may have been a draw.

We see Idia categorize people and generalize them into character tropes (from anime/manga/games) throughout the game, and based upon Leona’s appearance/outward behavior, Idia may labeling him as the scary top boss of the Savanaclaw hooligans (re: their Halloween vignette together) in his mind.

But he is able to overcome his initial flight response in this birthday vignette once Leona procures the chess set (one of Idia’s personal interests).

(This is part of the reason why Idia’s stutter is such an important part of the character: he stutters when he panics, but then speaks smoothly when he becomes passionate, which the characters even comment on in the game (Ortho calls it his "go off switch" on EN, and his "heat up switch" on JP).)

(Recreation of this trait varies by scene on EN.)

Leona is difficult to read because he will insult the people he likes and respects just as readily as he does those he does not (something that we see Jamil come to understand in real time during Book 6), so trying to work out his true opinion about anything can get into conjecture.

They also do not overlap particularly often, which gives us less to work with, but his teasing of Idia in the birthday vignette is not dissimilar to his teasing of characters like Jamil and Vil. Whereas they understand Leona’s humor, however, Idia may not.

What we know for a fact is that Leona has canonically complimented Idia for being both intelligent and powerful during Spectral Soiree, and this may have been a parallel to Terror is Trending when, extremely impressed by Savanaclaw’s Halloween set, Idia asks, “Did Leona use his magic for it?”

Idia also comments on Leona’s power during his evaluations at STYX, saying, “I already knew Leona was tough and could handle whatever danger comes at him…”

I think you are correct, and it is a respect thing!

They are both aware of the other’s familial situations and strengths and, in any other circumstances, they might get along well. But their personalities are just too different, they frustrate each other in every conversation they have, and whatever positives the other person has might just not be enough to outweigh how obnoxious they find the other to be.

We learn from Vil that the rule at NRC is “the weak obey the strong,” and the Housewardens at NRC seem to take this literally, with Idia, Leona and Vil all being constantly torn between sincere annoyance and grudging respect. The three referring to others as “spudlings,” “normies” and “herbivores” is another interesting overlap that they share.

(Despite being even more different than Leona and Idia, Leona and Vil repeatedly find common ground in allying against Idia.)

(In a parallel to this, Leona and Idia find common ground on the subject of Malleus, with Leona saying, “It’s a pain when the majority forces their opinion on you,” which is an opinion Idia seems to share.)

Thank you so much for this question, it was wonderful to dive into!

Overall, Leona and Idia seem to share a mutual undertone of “I know you’re the best at what you do, but I can’t stand you. I acknowledge that you’re intelligent, capable and talented, but please go be that somewhere else,” which ties directly into a comment from Yana’s 2023 interview:

“Since the characters in the story are villains they do not admit defeat, but they will admit, ‘Hey, you did pretty good.’ Even if they don’t like each other, they will recognize each other’s abilities.”

(And thank you again to @frost__tw for all the amazing insight! ♡)

[trashogram]

The inbox is open again!!! It's great to send asks again, but I'm most relieved that you didn't receive any troll asks ^^

So, let's kick off this new year with my re-write for;

Blitzø and Loona

Blitzø

Honestly, up until that Stolitz BS, I like Blitzø's character! He seems perfect for Hell, and although he's a murderous asshole, he has enough relatability(?) For the audience to engage with the protagonist outside of dark humor. So I don't think I would change Blitzø so much.

Well, one thing I'll change. Cut out all the dog piling he has gone through in Season 2. I mean, yeah, Blitzø needs to account for his actions and realize that he's only hurting himself in the long run. But he needs therapy and his found family coming together, not everyone in his life to call him a horrible person and not even offer him support or apologies when he needs it (I'm thinking of Fizzaroli specifically, not Stolas because I'm more than likely going to just erase the Stolitz. Yes, Fizz got hurt real bad in that fire, and he was led to believe Blitzø abandoned him. He needed that apology and the closure. But you know who else needed those two things? Blitzø, the guy who never meant to destroy everything. The guy who probably watched his mother die by that mistake, get kicked out by his father and be fed the same manipulation that Fizz was- all after he watched his own parent favor Fizzaroli because he made more money. Why does Fizz get a pass saying "I'm sorry" for never reaching out and assuming Blitzø wanted to hurt everyone?? Or even something like "If I had known..." or "It's not your fault"??? Maybe it's just me, but it's kinda bugging me that Blitzø is the one who has to apologize to everyone, but no one seems to see he needs some nurturing too.)

Oh! Knowing myself, I would have made Blitzø blind in his right eye, the one that got affected by the blast. Or at the very least, make it white to show it was affected. Can you imagine Blitzø with one red eye and one white eye, kinda like Sallie Mae's eye, and little hints to his partial blindness with him being more partial with his left side (like becoming ambidextrous or aiming a gun with his left side), or him bumping into things on his left side? Oh! Can you imagine how much cooler it'd be that with his blindness, he's able to become one of the top assasins in Hell?!

Those photos of Blitzø crossing himself out, I think I would change that. Cause like, everyone can see Blitzø's obvious self-hatred and they don't react at all to it?? Blitz would still hang pictures of his loved ones on the living room walls, but you'll notice that they all conveniently leave him out. It's all about Loona, Millie, Moxxie, even Barbie. But no Blitzø. It's a subtle detail that people in the show may miss. But if anyone goes to look through his room, you'll find photos of himself cut up, burnt, and shredded by his own hand. Some may even look like he cut himself out of some pictures in the living room.

One more thing that, knowing myself, I would have done is still keep Blitzø stalking his employees. But instead of it being him wanting to turn their OTP into an OT3, it stems more from how he was raised. Think about it, Blitzø, Barbie, Fizz, and any other kids who might have been part of the acts had the entire circus with them. Knowing myself, I would have made it that since Buckzo is such a deadbeat and only cared for Fizz, the other actors and clowns pitched in to help Tilla raise the twins. Especially as she grew sicker and sicker. So, to Blitzø, co-workers were also family. Him constantly prying into M&M's and Loona's lives is more him trying to recreate that big family he had. He'd constantly suggest they all might as well move in together. He'd refer Millie and Moxxie as Loona's aunt and uncle and proclaim himself as the uncle to their future kid ("Sir, we're not even mates!? We're just dating??" // "Not with that attitude you guys won't be!") etc. He feels like if they all aren't this huge family that work together, they'll all grow apart, and he'll be alone again. It'd still be Blitzø projecting his desire for love onto Millie and Moxxie, but in a more familial/platonic way, I guess?

But I also liked Blitzø just loving them and wanting to be part of their relationship/wanting a relationship like theirs. Poly love needs to be explored more in media imo and Blitzø definitely seems like the kind of guy to carry the polyamory flag at pride to me. So I want to keep this, but knowing myself if I was the one writing the show, I would have thought of the above route instead 😅 but I figured i should still share because why not? ^^

Loona

I saw some redesign of Loona that changed her to be 18, closer to age with Octavia and more like a kid. Honestly, I think I would have done that. Have Blitzø adopt Loona when she was 13, and by the time she can get her Hellbies shot, she's 18. It is important to show the fear and suffering kids that age out of the system are put through. But honestly, the show didn't do too good a job of that, I think. (And, this could just be me, but with all of the sexualized merch of Loona, it feels like Viv only made her 22 years old so they can have her smoke, drink and be furry bait for the show. Had this been any other creator, I wouldn't have thought this. But with Viv... yeah.) So yeah, in my re-write, Loona is younger. A legal adult (by our standards), but still a kid who is still figuring out herself and the world, if we're all being honest.

Apologies for the ranting. That'll be the last one, I promise.

Another reason for that age difference. In Hell, since she's just a hellhound and not seen as an actual child or person, anyone who takes a hellhound in can return them anytime they want while they're still minors. Loona has had owners who always returned her when she fought back. She was punished for simply standing up for herself in a society that sees her as nothing more than muscle at the most. So when Blitzø adopted her and proclaimed her as his daughter, she was skeptical. She kept her guard up around him and never called him Dad for five years, even though she wanted to in the last few years (the times she almost did though, she caught herself on time or said it so quietly Blitzø didn't catch it)

I would want to make an episode of her 18'th birthday, the final day that Blitzø can return her or kick her out to the streets, she's terrified. She's panicking in her room, switching between hugging herself and packing her valuables while she can and trying not to cry. Even though he's been nothing but caring towards her and has never given her up as his daughter before, today is the day that'll show if he really means it and or if she was right to keep him, Millie and Moxxie, at a distance. She tenses up when she hears a knock on her door before Blitzø cheerfully tells her he's got a surprise for her in the kitchen and mentally prepares herself. But when she goes outside, she's greeted with the sight of a gift on the counter next to two full plates of breakfast food, and the imp happily greeting her with "Happy birthday, Loony!" Before slowly beginning to cry as it dawns on him that she's all grown up now.

And there, Loona can really see Blitzø never saw her as an animal he can just return. She has a family with Blitzø. Her dad. That's when she can finally open up to him and let him in. And I guarantee you, they both would have cried.

... I'm not sure if I should include my OC in this. But if I can, then another reason for Blitzø adopting Loona when she was younger, it contrasts how Bella aged out of the system while Loona got to be adopted before she was. They both were still put through a lot since that was where they grew up, but Bella is just grateful that Loona made it out before she had to go through the same fate she did.

Of course, I'm definitely changing Loona's attitude and treatment towards Blitzø. Yeah, she's been through so much in the pound, but that doesn't give her the excuse to abuse others. I would have put more emphasis on Loona being more awkward and trying to stay at a distance from the others rather than her insulting or hurting them. She does verbally bite back a few times, but here it's treated as a kid who learned that as a defense mechanism against something she thought was an attack on her rather than "haha the wolf made the possum cry"

Maybe- MAYBE I'd have one time where Loona actually hurt Blitzø or the others. Like if she threw something in their general direction and it hit them unintentionally, or she shoves them away in a playful or startled manner and it was a lot stronger than she intended. But afterward, she realizes what she has done and tries to make it better, apologizing while she picks them up or cleans up the mess, hands shaking because she's convinced that she's going to get it now. Either Blitzø is going to treat her like everyone else has, or he's going to return her back to the pound. But the point is that it wouldn't be played for laughs. It's treated as something serious.

I'm unsure if I would have Loona drink and smoke. It is Hell, so I doubt underage usage is uncommon. But it can also be difficult to broach. If I did, though, Blitzø wouldn't just let it happen. That's his daughter wrecking herself before she's even fully grown. As someone who also stole his dad's booze and the other performers' smokes, he knows it's not healthy. When Loona is old enough, she can drink and smoke all she wants. But not when it'll really hurt her. It's unfamiliar to her to have someone care about her health outside of making sure she doesn't spread diseases, but that's one of the first signs that Blitzø truly cares about her.

And the little things that Loona does to show her own care would be shown more often. Even if she's still unsure to call Blitzø her father until the birthday episode, it's been five years since he took her in as his own. She wants these people to be her family, but she can't let her guard down too much yet. She'll put labels on food she knows belongs to who if they forgot to instead of just taking it for herself. She texts M&M what Blitzø is up to, so they'll be prepared when he drops in. And she'll check up on Blitzø whenever he holes himself up in the bedroom or bathroom.

Basically, instead of writing Loona as a one-dimensional moody teenager-but-not-really, I want to give her actual growth. Show how she's changes from the scarred pup in the pound and her self-destructive habits... Just like her father. Blitzø and Loona would mirror each other in certain ways despite how differently they grew up. Once his mother died, Blitzø had nobody. And when he saw Loona in the pound that day, with the same hopeless and scared look in her eyes that she tried to hide behind a defensive snarl, he saw himself. And he couldn't let her slip through the cracks.

Also, I'm considering giving her and Blitzø a sense of survivors guilt. She didn't seem to get along with many of the other hounds, but whether she did or not, she knows all too well how awful that place is. And how the hell could Blitzø not have survivors guilt after that fire?? Maybe one day, he could have talked to Loona and found out how she felt, and assured her how she shouldn't blame herself. It's not her fault that she got somewhere safe, and it's not her fault how the pound treats the hellhoubds inside. And maybe, as he's telling her all these things, he has a moment to himself when he realizes that that should apply to him as well.

This is all I've got so far, but I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting some things I wanted to add 😅 I'll just add it to the notes if I think of it. I hope you like these!

Next up is Barbie and Fizz, so stay tuned! I got big plans for them.

EEEEEEEEEE!!! I’m so happy to see more rewrites for HB from you! 💕 Your ideas are 🧑‍🍳 💋 top notch 😄

For Blitzø — I agree with you! I liked him initially bc he does fit as a protagonist in Hell. He should be an asshole, but with enough relate-ability or charm that the audience can hold onto throughout the series to remain invested. And I love the idea of Blitzø sustaining an injury beyond the scars, especially with you pitching ideas on how Blitzø adapts to partial blindness!

I am definitely in favor of taking out the dogpiling. It’s so painful to sit through, and I feel like it would be for any character whether they “deserve” it or not. It’s just not enjoyable to watch. I also like the idea of the Blitzø and Fizzarolli relationship getting a better rewrite where both characters are able to receive comfort and closure. I think it would take a full season at least to address how this rift happened and to come to a somewhat satisfying conclusion. I like the possibility of exploring Fizzarolli seeing Blitzø’s behavior in a new light — potentially Fizz realizing how Buckzo manipulated both him and his son, and how Blitzø and Barbie endured an insane level of abuse by the man while Fizz had no idea.

With M&M, I really love the idea of Blitzø’s stalking being more of him just wanting to be close to them in a familial way. It’s very sweet, although I’m also not averse to the idea of Moxxie/Millie/Blitzo (I in fact preferred that idea in S1 😄).

NOW LOONA

Your rework of her character makes me cry 😭 in a good way! But ahhh, she’s more than tolerable the way you write her. I actually feel so much sympathy for this poor pup, and understand her lashing out (but not in an intentionally malicious way that includes physical violence, at least not without recompense or consequence). And you show respect for her as a character, rather than as furry bait — which I agree is what Loona is in the show proper 😒

I don’t think I have anything to add because her rewrite is perfect (and I do adore the idea with your OC so much 🥰).

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Compromising Positions: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Summary: An unsub is targeting and killing married couples, and you and Spencer go undercover in hopes of drawing out the unsub. Not only does it not work, but it opens a can of worms you don't think Spencer is ready to open.

Season Six Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

You walk back into the apartment and take a seat across from Maryann. You don't want to confront her right out so you decide to ease her into the conversation and target your inner Spencer.

"So, I read this pretty fascinating theory recently. It said that humans weren't designed to be monogamous and that in our hunter-gatherer phase, women took several mates. The idea was that if the men in the tribe didn't know who the father was, they'd all be more invested in the child. Interesting, right?"

"I guess," she shrugs.

"While I would never judge you or the way you live your life, I do think the only reason you got into it was to make James happy. Just like how you only got pregnant after his surgery to make him happy, only, I don't think that it's working."

"That's not true. James is overjoyed to be a father."

"Look, I'm only going to say this because I know it's true. You can deny it all you want but I know you know the truth. I know James is hurting you. Maybe not physically but he is hurting you. I also know you love him and you want to make him happy because how can the man you love be such a monster, right?"

"No, you're wrong," she says, her voice cracking at the end.

"You got pregnant after his surgery because you thought that would make him happy. For a while, it worked. Then, I'm assuming when you started showing, he got angry because he knew this child was not his. It's someone else's which only reminds him that he can't provide for his family. For an alpha male, that must be soul-crushing. I think that your pregnancy drove your husband to try to recreate those parties so he could feel in control again. Only, instead of swinging, he's killing people."

"Why won't you people listen to me? He's not capable of doing that!"

"How about killing the man who got you pregnant? Do you think he's capable of that?"

"No, because you'd be lying. This is his baby."

You take out the files of the unsolved murders that the detective brought over and lay them out in front of her.

"These files are recent unsolved murders, men who have been killed since you conceived. Now, if I'm right about your husband, I think that the father of your child is somewhere in here." You open the first one and lay it open in front of her so she can see the victim's picture and crime scene. "Bob Atkins? Is it him?"

"I can't believe this," she scoffs.

You open another one and show her. "James Boyd?"

"You don't give up, do you? You just can't accept the fact that my husband and I love each other." You open another folder and present it to her. She keeps talking. "Yes, we have an unconventional marriage, but that's not a crime. We have a strong relationship." you open another one and lay it in front of her. "James respects me. He would never do anything--"

She stops talking when she sees the one you just laid down. She lets out a strangled cry and you know you have your man. She finally believes you which means you can move on to the real questioning. You take the files away from her so she doesn't have to look at them and give her five minutes to compose herself. She picks up the landline phone and calls her husband but it goes straight to voicemail.

"It went straight to voice mail. He must have turned it off."

"Maryann, we need you to tell us what you and your husband used to do before you got married. What were your habits?"

"Do you mean like where we went on dates?"

"No, your sexual habits. Think about it. You don't just jump into swinging. Most people have games building up to it. What were they?"

"He'd sometimes pretend to pick me up. We'd meet at a bar. I'd arrive and he wouldn't be there. He was in the back watching me."

"What were the names of the bars you went to?" you ask and take out your notepad.

"Just one. Dunley's. It's at the town mall."

You nod and write the name down. "How did the game end?"

"He'd make me dress provocatively. He wanted guys to hit on me, and then when I'd show some interest, James would step in and seduce me back to him."

She's been through enough trauma for one night so you leave local police with her while your team heads to Dunley's. You don't want to go storming in because then he might shoot a bunch of people so you have to play this safe. Derek walks in without his FBI vest to see if he's in there and returns moments later.

"He's in the middle of the bar. There's no way to take him down without risking collateral damage. If we go in there, he'll start shooting up the place."

"He'll do that anyway. This guy's looking for a spark," Emily says.

"Hotch, let me go in there. I'll be your distraction. He's gone back to his old patterns. He wants to play the game he played with his wife."

"Debra Wilson played that game and it got her killed, Y/N," Derek says.

"Hotch, do you trust me?"

"Yes." You begin stripping yourself of anything that would suggest you're in the FBI including your weapons. "Keep his focus off the crowd long enough for us to take him down."

"I can do you one better. I can bring him out here. Just wait for us to leave."

"You're confident enough to separate himself from the crowd?"

"Yes but knowing you, you'd stand by and enter the bar anyway. Just wait for my signal. If I touch my nose, then you know to come in."

"Okay."

Once you look presentable, you head inside the club. You fluff your hair up, pull your shirt down to expose more of your breasts, and pinch your cheeks to give yourself a rosy look without using makeup. You pass by a couple who are making out at a booth, and the woman's purse is lying on the seat next to her. You hate doing this but it's for the greater good. You swipe the purse without her knowing and walk over to the bar where James is. He has his hand inside his jacket pocket ready to pull out his gun when you step right next to him.

"James!" You grin and put the purse on the bar. "I thought that was you." He looks surprised someone knows him here. "How's Maryann?" He still doesn't say anything. "Oh, you don't remember me? We met at a party."

"We did?"

"Yeah. I walked in with Brian one night. He'd been part of the scene more than me, and I got a little curious if I'm honest. You were with Maryann and I immediately took a liking to you. You sent Maryann over to Brian just to get the ball rolling when I walked up to you. They got into it, we got into it, and we all did. Brian didn't stop talking about that for weeks," you laugh.

"Look, I'm sorry. I really don't remember you," he stutters.

"It's okay. I'm Y/N. Maybe that will refresh your memory." It doesn't. "So, do you still hit the scene?"

"No, I don't."

"Yeah, me either. I came here tonight hoping to find a real man. Lucky for me, I found you," you smile sexily.

You pull your hair to the side and expose your neck, and his eyes drift down your neck and over your breasts before returning to your eyes.

"You sure we've met?"

"It's hard to forget a face like yours."

"So, where's Brian?"

"He's not around anymore."

"Yeah. Well, that happens... Lose your boyfriend. The scene will definitely do that."

He's testing you. He said the word boyfriend. Alpha males look to other alpha males, and they are always married. He's waiting for you to sip up, but you don't.

"No, not boyfriend. Husband. Come on, boyfriend?" you scoff. "You know this. We look for someone stable and secure. You know, someone who poses a real threat. It's how the fantasy works."

James smirks, having fallen for your act. He removes his hand from his jacket and presents his elbow for you to take.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

"Of course."

You hook your hand in the crook of his elbow and walk to the exit where you know your team is waiting. It doesn't take James more than five seconds to realize what is going on, and he turns to you angrily. He whips out his gun to shoot you but is shot by Derek instead. No one had any time to remove the weapon from him.

"Are you okay?" Hotch asks.

"Yeah, he didn't touch me."

The worst thing Maryann will have to go through is the loss of her husband but at least he's not out hurting people anymore. You're safe and sound back in your bed to which you decided to go to bed early. Spencer and Derek are going to hang out for a few hours so he's waiting for his friend to come over.

"Hey, I called the restaurant and they have an opening they can fit us in. They're pretty busy."

Spencer opens the bedroom door to make sure you're sleeping, which you are. He can hear your soft snores coming from the bed. He closes the door as quietly as he can before walking over to Derek.

"I need your help."

"With what?"

"Picking out a ring because I want to ask Y/N to marry me."

Derek is ecstatic that he's taking this step to further your relationship with you, but Frank isn't. In fact, Frank is pissed. His first thought is to go over there and slit Spencer's throat for having the idea. Then, a lightbulb goes off in Frank's mind, and he leans back in his chair with a wicked grin on his face.

How amazing would it be for you to bask in the happiness that is Spencer Reid only for it to be taken from you at a moment's notice? It's going to take a lot of work on Frank's part but there is only one person you belong with and that's him, and he's going to make sure you never get the chance to marry Spencer.

"We all wear masks and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin." - André Berthiaume

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[iminyourwallsbabe]

Thinking about Viktor's life story, it's really crazy.

Like I was listening to St. Chroma the other day and that song is about making a life out of nothing starting at the very bottom and making out of there yourself. But what I like about it and why I don't think it's corny like a lot of other songs like that, is that it's so fucking stubborn. Yk? It's like FUCK YOU, I can do this and I dare you to try and hold me back cuz it's not fucking happening.

You know who that sounds a lot like?

Like let's just think about this. He's a boy from the undercity, his parents are probably dead, he has a disability he probably had to deal with and make accommodations for by himself. Given what happens to most people from Zaun and how they live, the odds say he was cooked from the start. He could've been dead or in jail by then. The second someone instilled the idea in him that he could be more than that though, he took it and ran with it. He was like, alright, if I have it in me to go after anything, I'm gonna be a scientist.

So from that point on, he put in the work. Probably twice as much work as someone from Piltover would have to do if Jayce's recreation of his life was any indication. He was probably doing all of this hungry, in pain, and with a million other ailments. I think for him though, instead of doubting whether or not he could he wondered how long it would take. Would be doing this for decades? How much of his life would he spend trying to make it there? Would he live to see it all amount to something? That's why when Jayce presents his ideas and he gets ahold of his notes, Viktor immediately gets in on this. It could be a world altering discovery, it could be bullshit, he doesn't have the time to pass up the opportunity. If he wants to be anything more than an assistant, he has to be bold. He has to have the audacity.

That's really what it is at the end of the day, that's what got him where he wanted to be. The fucking audacity. I mean think about it, this guy from the undercity that people probably don't trust already is about to go behind the council's back to do some potentially life threatening experiments with the guy who blew up a building and almost killed several children. Who does he think he is?

This is why he tells Jayce "When you want to change the world, don't ask for permission", because the truth of the matter is, and this applies to real life as well, the people sitting in the chairs in the council are not going to let you manifest any dreams that don't fit their world view. You can keep fighting them about it until your face turns blue, but more than likely, they're not budging. If you're really about it, you just have to do it.

This mentality bleeds into everything he ever does. There's so many times in just the first few episodes where he's asked "are you sure about this?" and he straight up just says "lol no this could probably kill us but fuck it, we ball". He doesn't wait for anybody, not society, not safety, nothing. He's the definition of a man of progress, it's his entire life. But it's not just the world he wants to make better, it's a personal thing as well.

Every step of the way, he wants to become something greater. He started out as a regular undercity boy, then he became a student, then he worked his way up to becoming the assistant to the dean of the academy, who it may serve you to remember is the head of the council. Then, he became a real scientist, just like he wanted. That wasn't enough though, it wasn't enough to just *do* science, he had to do something with it. Keep pushing it until it could do the most good it could do. Then, he got sick. Or his sickness caught up to him at least. His time was limited. It only made him more focused on progress. How much can I do with what little time I have left? Can I extend that time? Can this magic or this shimmer make me the healthiest version of myself that there can be?

That's why it was so devastating for him to lose Sky. She was the first person to directly be harmed by the thing he created, at least the first person he saw. She lost her life in his pursuit for greatness. Say what you want about how obsessed he is with the idea of evolution and growth, but you can't say he was ready to give up the people he wanted to save in order for it to happen. At least, not yet. That's when he thought it was the end of the road, that he'd gone too far. He had to stop here. His solution to that was gonna be doing a backflip off a building, but you get the idea.

That's really why the second season isn't super surprising in retrospect. I mean we can blame the hexcore for some of it, I think it took some of his humanity but a lot of those ideas were his own. And I think he meant what he said when he said his path and Jayce's path diverged when he was brought back to life. He was supposed to die, the hexcore was supposed to be gone, this pursuit was supposed to be over. He felt like Jayce just didn't know when to stop and it was interfering with the well being of humanity. And I think he took that and his own failures to heart, prompting him to find a way to try and take that out of the equation.

Anyway r.i.p Viktor you would've loved Chromakopia

[alexanderwales]

I binge-watched Cross on Amazon, the new Alex Cross show. I watched the first episode on a whim, then stuck around because ... I don't know, I guess I was trying to figure out what it was trying to say about crime and the police. And after eight episodes, I think it just totally fails to hit any sort of mark.

The big problem, for me, is that it's trying to weave in a lot of discussion of the relationship between law enforcement and race while showing some of the worst elements of "copaganda". Police searching a home without a warrant, police tampering with evidence, police not playing by the book and having that be what allows them to catch the killer, implying that restraint and due process is a shackle on police that makes them ineffective ...

And this is a show that's trying to tackle these questions, to weave them into the show organically. After watching the show I read an interview with the showrunner, and ... he was trying to say something! But the story is being told in a world where there are billionaire serial killers, it focuses on their depravity, it punishes restraint, and I think in the end, really just wants to be a fantasy of getting "the bad guys".

There's a plotline where Cross beats the shit out of a guy he thought had either killed his wife or knew who did, and it turns out the guy is innocent, and the way they talk about it, it's like they think that this would be okay if he were guilty, or if he had priors, or if there was some kind of reason. And you're just never going to get to good policing if you're still in the mindset that we should only refrain from beating the shit out of the innocent.

Also, the main bad guy is nicknamed "The Fanboy" and his MO is to kidnap people, make them look like famous serial killers, then document their resemblance, recreate some famous scene using real life props, then kill whoever he's abducted. I found this interesting, but it felt like a lead-in to or parable about the obsession with true crime, or the ways we deal with media representation. It just never really came, and felt like the punchline was missing. Like, surely "I take innocent people and pretend that they're killers for my own sadistic pleasure" should have tied into the conversations on race and law enforcement, right? I mean, he's literally picking his victims because they bear some resemblance to famous serial killers.

But the killer explains his philosophy, that serial killers are like gods because they spit in the face of the idea of fairness, and any narrative cohesion seems like it gets shot in the foot. He's doing this because he wants to join the pantheon of killers, to be as famous as they were, and I don't know, there's probably a reading that ties them together better, but in the end it seems more like a "wouldn't it be fucked up" kind of serial killer, and any thematic resonance I was seeing partway through has mostly evaporated.

I am moderately interested in hearing a defense of this show, or a reading of this show that makes sense of its themes, but right now it feels like it was just confused about its message and how it was slotting things together.

[k9emote]

look i’m gonna be serious with yall for a second in the most respectful way i can think of. a good 80% of the stuff you mentioned in your “explanation” has NOTHING to do with the actual accusations ☹️ what does synesthesia have to do with tracing and what does ritual abuse have to do with ANYTHING THEY MENTIONED?? i genuinely dont think it is possible to internalize peoples drawings THAT closely with synesthesia. hell it might not be possible at all! you can internalize and put images of IN PERSON memories in your head yes..but DRAWINGS? makes 0 sense to me.

they didnt even mention the collor pallete blue and white, but seeing your emojis its more of a white and a cool grey instead of a blue. so where tf did blue come from

OH AND I FORGOT TO MENTION THE RITUAL ABUSE MENTION?? you just dont pull that out of your ass to try and prove a point. “I don’t deserve forgiveness” then a paragraph later you’re still defending yourself. this shit has been the most hypocritical and absurd thing ive seen in a WHILE

number names are NOT your biggest enemy dude 😭😭😭 you’ve got plenty of other problems if any of the shit you’ve mentioned is actually true

also..mental illness is NOT an excuse to hurt people. “ohh im disordered and unable to get help!!! ofc i accidentally hurt people!!” if you know you’re hurting people its not a damn accident. from one cluster b to another im actually floored.

“parasocial” DOES NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK ??

“leave my name out of your mouth in public spaces” YOURE MOUTHING THEM ON A PUBLIC SPACE TOO??? HYPOCRITICAL???

and now there’s the few things i do understand..

being uncomfortable with irls is ok

saying endos aren’t valid is true (coming from a diagnosed did system)

and thats all i remember. its getting late

I'm answering the points that they brought up. That's how a conversation works and I didn't want to ignore anything to avoid further criticism

synesthesia is a condition where senses connect abnormally. So you smell colours, hear numbers etc. We have a lot of synesthesia connections with touch and art. We are able to recreate a photo perfectly without tracing it because we can physically feel the lines in our hands. This, unfortunately, makes it really easy for us to copy things, even unknowingly. The physical memory will play out in our hands and we will (thinking we're just on a roll) accidentally make something an artist has already made. You don't have to believe me if you don't want to, but I'm not going to lie and admit "I traced!! 100%" when I didn't. Just because you don't understand or experience something doesn't mean you get to say it isn't real. It has been a genuine frustrating struggle. I never said it meant I'm not at fault or that it's okay because it's accidental, that's why I apologized. But it isn't fair to compare a symptom I struggle with to a deliberate act of art theft.

they mentioned number names . on the post.

number names are very often correlated to that type of abuse. it's a form of programming, and that type of abuse is how we experienced it. That form is how a lot experience it. I assumed that was implied

I don't think this is a super important point but it's like a white and dull cyan and cyan is a form of blue so. idk many come at me thinking I target anyone who uses that color pallet and that just isn't true. that's why I brought it up.

I genuinely don't know what you're talking about here but it was most likely in response to a point. I can be aware that people are allowed to dislike me, but there is a difference between people who dislike and people saying things they've heard from people who already hate me because of completely unrelated reasons, spreading it online and further causing harassment for me. None of you actually research what you're claiming, you take the word of people who dislike me and run for it.

Do you understand how scary and hurtful it is to see how many people hate you for reasons that have been completely twisted to the point where you don't understand what they're calling out? It makes you want to defend yourself. I have seen countless shit I have bitten my tongue and ignored but I'm reaching my end and quitting tumblr soon for my own mental health. That is why I'm now responding to things. Even if they have a small blog, if they're talking about me and saying things they have no actual information on, I have the right to defend myself. I would love to privately ask for things to be taken down but in the past I either get blocked or my shit gets taken out of context and spread further. I have never once pushed for my crowd to harass. If you are a k9 follower and you're reaching out and verbally harming people because they dislike me, fuck off. That isn't okay. I don't want that encouraged in this community.

I'm not going to sit here and trauma dump about my childhood, but I will let you know that until about age 10 I had little to no interaction with people. That's all the information I'll be giving. So no, I don't understand it until someone tells me. Communication is important. I have changed and grown a shit ton the past couple of years and I have gotten really good at communicating with people. People have called out my behavior as "apathetic, uncaring and self absorbed" When those are literal key symptoms of NPD & ASPD. The disorders I have zero help for. I have done my absolute best to manage these symptoms. But if you can provide me a screenshot of me ever in the past 6 months I've been most active, genuinely attacking someone for NO reason, then I'd love to see it. The amount you guys play up my monster role is outstanding. I am mature at the beginning of every issue I try to address, but I am a human person, and I have lashed out sometimes. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry to the people I've hurt. I can't do anything else but apologize and get better at it; which I have.

There are many people in this community and on this app obsessively posting things about hating me, and I will not respond or address them because I will not feed into what they are doing. I will not publicly react to them because I am not going to engage in that disturbing behavior.

^^^

There's a difference between saying someone is a, b and c horrible thing with no evidence and me responding and debunking shit. Is it badmouthing to?? defend myself??? or stand up for my boundaries???? I honest to god don't get your point here.

But uhh yeah. What you see as a small blog just talking about me is what I see as something that is going to kick up threats and hatred in just about every platform I have. So that's why I'm about to fuck off this app.

Please reach out publicly if there's anything I missed or you're confused on. I will handle it maturely and gently :] Thank you for messaging me !! I don't intend any of this to come off as angry at you, I am angry at the situation.

[bedoballoons]

Genshin Men react to Their Thirsty fanart?😊

Ooooooo oh my gosh I love this!!! I hope you liked the characters I picked! If you'd like to see others just let me know! <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ✿─

{༻~Reacting to their thirsty fanarts~༺}

A/n: Slightly suggestive! A lot of characters this time because I went alittle crazy! (None of the artwork in this is mine! If you look in the reblogs the artists names are there! All credit goes to them and thank you again to that person who sourced them for me!)

(Includes: Diluc, Lyney, Albedo, Wanderer, Kazuha, Childe and Neuvillette!)

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𑁍༄Diluc:

Diluc would clear his throat, inspecting the picture while his cheeks became tinted with a light pink colour, his hand running through his firey red hair as he tried to think of what to say, settling with a safer answer. "Well...this is certainly a very amazing piece of artwork. It does however seem a bit...suggestive...flattering yes, but not very true to life. I've personally never held my claymore in that way or sat in that particular.. position. Still, I thank you respectfully for taking your time to draw me...even if it might have given others a bit to much...inspiration."

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney would take one look at the picture, a smirk playing on his lips as his violet eyes clouded over with mischief and flattery, possibly even a tad bit of lust, "Seems I've caught the attention of some incredible artists, their work is truly magnifique! Hmm..., because they've drawn me so beautifully and one of the main things a magician is supposed to do is please his watchers, I'll do a little comparison between the art and myself...so you can all see it for real~" He'd tip his hat before starting to recreate the pose, arching his back slightly and winking in your direction, his finger up against his mouth as he shushed you, his other hand holding the ace of hearts just right so you could see it. Seems he enjoys the attention the fanarts give him, even to the point of hoping everyone will creat more~

𑁍༄Albedo:

(...is he wearing bottoms in this picture? Cause like I'm not gonna lie...I'm not really sure...)

"Goodness..." Albedo would stare at the artwork of himself for a moment, trying to collect his words as even his pale skin turned cherry red. His voice would be shaky because of his flustered state and he'd mess up words whenever he glanced at the picture, but eventually he'd manage to say this,"I don't really know where t-to begin, I mean the art itself is impeccable, v-very stylised...and ehem...the artist clearly...k-knows their anatomy. I-...thank you for drawing me." He'd look away, his heart racing in his chest and his mind plagued with new thoughts like...would he actually look good in that situation...would people want to see it...should he...try it?

𑁍༄Wanderer:

Wanderer would look at the picture, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth hanging open for a second, "W-what the hell is this?!? Why am I w-wet in it??? Perverts!" He'd clench his hands into fists, putting on quite the show as he tossed the drawing behind him and stomped away like he's just been highly offended...even though deep down, he found it slightly...appealing. To think someone actually had the nerve to draw him so scandalously...perhaps he'd have to find the artists who had done so, just to show them how wrong of a choice they'd made~

𑁍༄Kazuha:

"Oh my..." Kazuha would say, a blush spreading across his face and his calm personality faltering for just a second, before he quickly recomposed himself, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he chose the best words to say, "The art is very beautiful, I must say they've flattered me alot though...I don't truthfully look like that...not nearly as handsome. As for the marks...on the n-neck, I don't currently have any..." He'd probably mean that last sentence as a means to say he wasn't currently in a relationship, but to anyone who had heard it...they took it as a invitation to give him some~

𑁍༄Childe:

Childe would smile happily, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed and his chest slightly puffed up with pride, "Comrades please, you all make me blush, the art is wonderful and in no small part because I'm in it...,but I assure you the real thing is better. I win, even in regards to myself.." He'd wink at you, leaving you captivated by his charm even though what he had said sounded silly.

𑁍༄Neuvillette:

Neuvillette would look at the art for awhile, his purple hued eyes widening as he scanned it into his memory and rested his chin in his hand, his long white hair drapping over his shoulders as he wondered if someone had caught him changing, since how could they make something so accurate otherwise... "Apologies, but where did you get this again? The drawing itself is indeed very beautiful and well crafted, I believe the artist who made this should be very proud...I'm just curious how they know what I look like shirtless...and who else might know as well."

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ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚I hope you enjoyed*⁠.⁠✧

(Open!) Taglist: @kiokiee

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Leona Kingscholar - Bloom Birthday Vignette

"Happy Birthday"

[Savanaclaw Dorm – Birthday Party Venue]

Leona: Sigh, these interviews are a pain… Crazy how they can keep doing this year after year without gettin' bored of it.

Leona: So then, I wonder who's my presenter this year…

???: Ay, I made it. Excuse me!

Cater: Heya, Leona-kun. Happy Birthday!

Leona: Tch, and in walks in one of the loud ones.

Cater: EH, DID YOU JUST CLICK YOUR TONGUE!? C'mon, it's your birthday, you gotta try to have a bit of fun ♪

Cater: Today, I'm planning on asking you every little thing to learn everything about you, Leona-kun, so be prepared～

Leona: Well, aren't you real chipper. Alright, I'm fully expecting you to make this the best birthday ever, then.

Cater: U-Uh, you might be putting a little too much pressure on me there? But okay, let me just restart, and… Let's dive into the first question!

Cater: “If you could use flight magic to go anywhere, where would you like to go?”

Cater: And, it doesn't look like you have to worry about the amount of magic you'd have to use.

Leona: So, anywhere I want, huh… Then, I want to go to a full-service hotel and spend my time lounging about.

Cater: Ooh, so you want to just enjoy a resort to the max. That sounds great, and I bet you'd be able to take a ton of awesome pics ♪

Leona: Yeah, I'm not planning on going to any of the noisy places you're probably thinking of.

Leona: Since I'm going to be using flight magic to get there anyway, I'd rather find a remote place that normal people wouldn't really be able to get to.

Cater: But if it's a remote location… Then You can't really enjoy any sightseeing or recreational activities.

Leona: I told you, I wanted to just lounge about. If I were to run around like that, it completely defeats the purpose.

Cater: So, basically…. You're wanting to "do nothing," right?

Leona: Yeah, that's the best way to live in luxury, don't you think?

Leona: Food is prepared when I'm hungry, and the bath is ready for whenever I feel like taking one.

Leona: And there, in that quiet and comfortable environment, I can sleep peacefully without being bothered by anyone else

Cater: Not being bothered and in a quiet place, huh. Yeah, I guess that's not a bad way to go about it.

Leona: Right? As Dorm Leader and as Captain of the Magift team, there's a ton of things I have to constantly worry about, you know.

Leona: Basically, that just means that I also need some time off to rest my mind and body once in a while.

Cater: Ahaha. I bet I know a few people who'd be cross hearing you say that… But hey, I guess I get how you feel, Leona-kun.

Cater: Alllright, now that I got to hear a lot about that, I'll move on to the next question ♪

[Savanaclaw Dorm – Birthday Party Venue]

Cater: 'Kay, second question!

Cater: "What is your best class?"

Cater: Now here's a super interesting question!

Leona: Huh? How.

Cater: Yeah, because you're real smart. So I def wanna know what class you like best～

Leona: So, you think I'm smart, huh. I guess I'll go ahead and take that as a compliment.

Cater: Well, obviously it's a compliment! I have a hard time getting most of my classes, so I'm a bit jelly. Is there some trick to it?

Leona: I've had private tutors ever since I was a child. Obviously, the curriculum also contained classes that wouldn't be found in this school, too.

Cater: Uh… which means?

Leona: All the stuff that they teach here at this school, I learned way before enrolling.

Leona: Basically, everything I know isn't from just sitting behind a desk and studying like crazy, like your little Dorm Leader.

Cater: I see～ So you're saying that the stuff we learn in class are basically second nature to you, huh.

Cater: Okay, then, let me change the wording up a little bit… What's your favorite class?

Leona: My favorite class, hm… If I had to choose one, that'd be Ancient Incantations. That one is at least not as boring as the other classes.

Cater: Woah, Ancient Incantations, huh～ That's the one where you try to decipher old languages that aren't even used anymore, right?

Cater: And there's still a ton of languages that haven't been deciphered yet, either, right?

Leona: Yeah. And many of those languages were made to conceal magic spells in the first place. So they were already created to be complex.

Leona: That's why even subject matter experts also have a hard time combing through them.

Leona: Even just trying to read the individual letters is a chore. And even if you can figure those out, there's no point unless you can actually understand the words and sentences.

Leona: It has to be carefully analyzed by comparing the new content to old words that have already been translated, or rules that have already been pre-established.

Cater: I already have trouble with just what's in our textbooks, so I can't even imagine trying to figure out even more difficult things like those languages…

Cater: What can someone do to get better at ancient incantations?

Leona: It's just that I already was interested in that type of thing. I guess the thing that dragged me into it was this inscription I found in the Sunset Savanna.

Leona: There was this very long engraving in some old language…

Leona: The first time I looked at it, I had no idea what it was supposed to say, but then I started to translate it in my spare time, and…

Cater: AND? WH-WHAT DID IT SAY? SOME KIND OF ROYAL SECRET THAT NO ONE KNOWS!?

Leona: It was just the country's history. On top of that, basically it was stuff already in the textbooks.

Cater: Ehhh, you got my hopes up, and that was it? That was kinda anticlimactic.

Leona: Yeah, it's basically a boring story once you get into it… But it wasn't too terrible learning how to decipher it.

[Savanaclaw Dorm – Birthday Party Venue]

Cater: Last question! Here we go.

Cater: “What would you like to do in the coming year?”

Leona: Not to repeat a year, that's all.

Cater: Wh…! EH, THAT'S IT!?

Leona: Isn't that important enough?

Cater: I mean, yeah, but～! You gotta have something else you wanna do too.

Cater: Like, surpassing 1,000 followers on Magicam, or winning a Magift tournament…

Leona: Okay, then that.

Cater: Eh, what do you mean by "that"?

Leona: The whole, "winning a Magift tournament" thing.

Leona: I want to draw out the magical shift team's full potential and win at the national championships― That's closer to the answer you were looking for, right?

Cater: Now you're making me feel like I forced you to say that～ …Well, I guess that's better than not getting an answer.

Cater: Okay, then, I got a question for you, since you're captain of the team! Do you ever coach the younger students?

Leona: Yeah, of course. For example…

Leona: There's some guys who'll slack off during games because they don't have enough stamina and they want to conserve energy.

Leona: It'll be detrimental to have people not give their all during important games. So, to help build stamina, during passing practice…

Leona: I would send the disc flying long so they'd have to run from one end of the pitch to the other.

Cater: Woah, that's so tough! If you're that hard on them, won't you have students drop out…?

Leona: That's also part of it.

Cater: Eh, what do you mean?

Leona: We don't need anyone who takes off and runs like a coward just because their pride and confidence is torn down.

Leona: They should get angry when defeated and vow to do anything to get revenge―

Leona: The Magift club doesn't need anyone who lacks that kind of determination.

Leona: Only the guys who are fully prepared to overcome anything can get a starting spot on the team.

Cater: W-Wow… You're really sounding like a team captain, Leona-kun!

Cater: But I guess it's a little surprising to hear that you take care of your teammates like that. Maybe you're actually a softie inside?

Leona: Hah? No way.

Leona: I'm just doing the bare minimum as the leader of the pack.

Leona: I'd rather be spared being held back by someone who's just completely useless.

Cater: Interview completed～! Next is… Ta-da! Here we are, take this broom and go fly on the Birthday Road.

Leona: Sheesh, that's a fancy lookin' broom.

Cater: Yeah, it's pretty showy, but it's also pretty dignified, so I think it's perfect for you, Leona-kun ♪

Cater: Okay so, go and show them all how it's done. I'll make sure to take pictures of you flying out there!

Leona: I'm only saying this one, but don't do anything I haven't asked you to… I got no intention of being on display for you.

Leona: Aah, finally, it's quiet. I guess I'll go out and enjoy a leisurely stroll in the sky all by myself, then.

Requested by @dorito9708.

[breezybeej]

We all have opinions about lost media and media preservation. It's easy to focus on things that are just no longer available or only available as a heavily damaged VHS or whatever but there's something uniquely sad that I've been encountering every year as I try to recreate the experience:

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles for the GameCube. About 10 years ago, my friend and I cobbled together the GameCube and two Game boy SPs and the connectors so we could play the original game the way it was originally intended. It was, easily, the best experience I've had with a game on the Nintendo GameCube despite how fucking annoying the set-up was. dealing with recharging batteries and all that stuff. getting modern TVs to accept it.

The only way people can experience the best game on the GameCube is to do it this way. The game is rough in single player and the thematic story elements do not hit as hard single player. It is fundamentally a game about spending time with your friends in real life and the characters in the game.

The game was remastered and released on switch and mobile devices (surely that's not a bad sign!) And it was completely gutted. You cannot play the game with other people. sure, when you enter a dungeon you can pull other players in but the dungeons are only Where the action of the game happens. none of the story does. You and your friends cannot invest in each other's world because you aren't traveling the world together. You just play the game parts together, you don't experience the story together.

for an idea of what I mean, think of your favorite book and then think of any adaptation of that book. No matter how good of an adaptation it is, it loses some of the raw impact of its original medium. oftentimes, there is no good adaptation. You end up with a hollow shell of a homunculus of that story.

The problem is that it is so difficult to try and emulate this game. If we truly want to preserve the experience of final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles, we will need basically a bespoke emulation system that allows people to connect over the internet and play the game live together all the way through, not just the dungeons.

Right now. you can get the game, gameboys (you want SPs for the backlight? Those are expensive), gamecube to gameboy connectors, gameboy adapter block for the gamecube, a gamecube all for about $300-700. That's JUST to play crystal chronicles as the game was originally designed: with friends, for the entire gameplay experience.

I know I keep really harping on it but there's no way I can convey how hollow of an experience the remaster is in comparison to the original game. This is like the hill I will die on when it comes to media preservation. It's almost enough for me to want to go into computer science and coding so I can create a crystal Chronicles program that works over the internet and recreates the OG.

[letteredlettered]

Just going to address a few of the types of comments I see about AI on tumblr dot com.

I've seen people say that it's useless, because real human emotion is what the world needs now.

I've seen people dismiss it as a fad, cheering for it to crash and burn like bitcoin or NFTs.

And I've seen people passionately discuss how a) AI is using the intellectual property and creative work of human people to learn, without crediting that property, work, or the creators that enable that AI to exist, b) with that knowledge, AI can recreate or replicate the work of human artists, writers, and other content creators, thereby rendering artists/writers/creators without the means by which to earn a living. Many of these passionate (important, true) arguments end with some kind of conclusion like, "This is why AI is evil and no one should ever support it's use."

Let's just talk about the last one first. Importantly, I don't want to minimize or reduce the problems that artists, designers, writers, musicians, etc all face due to AI. It's not just artists. Anyone who creates content and puts it on the internet can have it stolen without credit by AI. AI can take an article written by a journalist, change the words slightly, and generate a fake name and fake photo so that the journalist who wrote the article makes no money while the company with the AI rakes it in. It's a huge problem that is destroying livelihoods as well as avenues of creation, expression, and information-sharing that will only get worse.

But to conclude that AI is therefore evil is kind of like saying social media creates toxic environments and therefore the entire internet is evil. Social media sucks, but I use the internet for keeping in touch with friends and banking and taxes and learning about the world and fandom and watching TV and learning about problems at work as quickly as possible and donating to charities. I mean, like, the internet does kind of suck; enshittification is real, but I think we all understand that the internet can be a useful tool.

Similarly, AI is being used to save lives. It solved the protein-folding problem, which not only saves lives but can help humanity in tons of other ways. It can identify certain signs of cancer more quickly than any human could. And before you say "well it's fine if we're only using it for science," you should know that the identifying cancer thing got discovered because some bakery wanted AI to identify pastries for pricing reasons. AI can process the billions of data that are necessary to consider to mitigate and prevent further climate change; it can help us come up with ideas for how to do so. In a bizarre example, AI can recognize which wood comes from which tree to help authorities discover illegal lumber trafficking which depletes endangered trees and protected forests. AI can help predict and prepare for the next pandemic. AI can explore space. AI can spot fake news.

Vilify certain uses of AI as is just and necessary, but vilifying all of AI just means that fewer people understand what AI can actually do, which means fewer people working to ensure this tool actually works for us rather than against us.

Second, let's just talk about AI as a fad. This idea frankly boggles me. AI is not bitcoin. AI is the internet. It's the computer. It's electricity. It's the compass. It's not just going to change the world, it already has, and it's not going anywhere.

AI is your spam filter. AI is your auto-correct. AI is why you see the ads you do. AI is why you get emails about deals for trips when you've been thinking about making a trip. AI is in your GPS, planning your route. AI is your search engine. I'm not trying to sell these things as positives right now; I'm selling them as realities. AI is not going away because it is already here, you who said you hoped it was like bitcoin are already using it, it's not going away.

AI is going to drive your cars. It's going to design ads specifically targeted to you as an individual. AI is going to be your children's friend and it's going to buy your groceries, and I'm just not sure there's much you can do about that at this point.

But last I want to talk about what the world needs now, because it does need humanity. It needs humanity to understand that the enemy is not AI; the entities that threaten our humanity are not AI entities. The entities that threaten our humanity are the corporations that are currently building AI with corporate interests in mind, with commercial interests in mind.

It might sound like I'm splitting hairs here. Maybe the folks who are so against AI on tumblr dot com are against AI because corporations are developing AI and what they mean when they say that AI is evil is that the current outlook on AI is just not that great because it is not being regulated and studied by enough governments, many of the general populace are either ignoring it or condemning it, and those who are most focused on its development have capitalist agendas that mean AI is going to be a lot worse before it gets better. But somehow, I'm getting the idea that the view on AI is not that nuanced--and it needs to be.

The humanity we need now, imo, is curiosity and ingenuity and passion, and we need that curiosity and ingenuity and passion directed at AI. If we get curious, if we inform ourselves, if we know what it is and what it can be and how to use it, then we can start to make demands of our governments for regulations. We can start to make demands of companies for how this should be used. We can start to incorporate AI into our lives in a way that gives us more time and space for art and creation and writing, not less. If we, as a species, were careful about this, we could use AI to make our world better, not just for humans but for every living thing and so many of the unliving things. We just have to pay attention.

Meanwhile, James Bridle's pointed out in Ways of Being: Animals, Plants, Machines: The Search for a Planetary Intelligence, "We tend to imagine AI as embodied in something like a robot or a computer, but it can really be instantiated as anything. Imagine a system with clearly defined goals, sensors and effectors for reading and interacting with the world, the ability to recognize pleasure and pain as attractors and things to avoid, the resources to carry out its will, and the legal and social standing to see that its needs are catered for, even respected. That's a description of an AI--it's also a description of a modern corporation. For this 'corporate AI,' pleasure is growth and profitability, and pain is lawsuits and drops in shareholder value. Corporate speech is protected, corporate personhood recognized, and corporate desires are given freedom [. . .] Crucially, [corporations] lack empathy, or loyalty, and they are hard--although not impossible--to kill."

Then he quotes Charles Stross, who wrote, "We are now living in a global state that has been structured for the benefit of non-human entities with non-human goals."

We could be treating technology itself not as something humans, in our dominance and supremacy, impose onto our world, but rather as a natural intelligence evolving alongside us. In so doing the focus would not be on creating machines that seek only profit and extraction, but rather make the world a better place. To do that we should be forming relationships with this technology and at the same time, rediscovering our relationships with the world around us. And just like anything the steps to get there are first curiosity, then education, then legislation.

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s6 ep4: Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy

This episode was supposed to be funny, but all the humor depends on finding middle-aged straight dudebro attitudes hilarious, which I don't. I'm not a huge fan of the Doctor to begin with, and stuff like this doesn't help.

This episode retreads a lot of the same ground as the Next Generation episode 'Hollow Pursuits', except with less fun and charm. In that episode, it was a character we didn't really know, Barclay, recreating our familar characters on the holodeck as an intentional way to make his new co-workers less intimidating. He didn't know them all well in real life, and most of them were his superior officers, so it was basically some guy in a new job trying to cope with a scary new boss. It turned the audience's view of the regular characters on it's head with an outsider's perspective, and as a joke, it was punching up because this guy had no power over them. Meanwhile, the Doctor does know the senior staff of Voyager very well, and (supposedly) considers them friends, as well as having a good deal of power over them as their only doctor on the ship. So his fantasies about them, rather than being funny, just come off as gross. I would absolutely be hurt if I found out someone who was supposedly my friend thought of me the way the Doctor thinks of the Voyager crew, especially the women. Wanting to be smarter and braver and better than everyone is childish, but at least somewhat understandable, but wanting all of your female friends to be romantic/sexual rivals fighting over you and constantly trying to seduce you in the middle of staff meetings is just icky.

That the Doctor can work alongside all these people for all these years and still see all the women in his life as sex objects is unbelievably offensive dudebro bs. He's not even a real person, he's a freaking computer program, and yet he's still got all this misogyny? Do the dudebros in that writer's room really think of women that way? Do they think that's normal? I guess so!

It's especially egregious with B'Elanna, since he's so rude to her all the time, and he's only ever nice to her when he needs her to fix his program. Otherwise, he's condescending and sometimes downright racist to her, and clearly doesn't like her very much for whatever reason, yet he wants her to be madly in love with him? He wants her to just forget about the actual relationship she's in and fawn over him? Eww! He has no respect for her as a person at all, and that sucks. In fact, this whole episode's plot was precipitated by him once again not respecting her authority, since she told him not to mess around with his program without consulting her in a previous episode where he did just that, and ended up assaulting her and almost killing a guy. Yet here he is, disobeying her again, despite his promise not too, and nobody gives him as much as a slap on the wrist. Janeway absolutely should have backed B'Elanna up and reprimanded him for disobeying her orders again, since she's functionally his doctor, in addition to being chief engineer.

The captain finding the Doctor's puerile adolescent boy fantasies funny isn't very believeable either. I honestly can't imagine Picard or Sisko being put in a position like that and finding it cute. Aside from the fact that she's the captain, and literally the boss of everyone, I know I'd be hurt if I found out someone I'd been friends with for years really just wanted me to be a brainless bimbo panting after him. The little tag on the end of the one scene where he has a line about wanting to be the hero all the time so he can help the people he loves rings hollow, quite honestly. It's meant to be there to excuse his obnoxious behavior, but he doesn't have to put other people down to make himself more important, and he certainly doesn't have to objectify all the women in his life either. It doesn't seem like he loves or cares about any of them very much the way he's constantly insulting everyone, and obviously doesn't respect the authority of any of the women on that ship at all. His crush on Seven is actually the least gross of them all, since he's at least reasonably courteous toward her most of the time, but he's still paternalistic and condescending, and there was absolutely no need for a scene of him painting her in the nude to illustrate how much he objectifies her, since we already know that. (And gratuitous female nudity isn't progressive. This is Star Trek, it's supposed to do better.)

Even the song the Doctor sings in this ep is full of sexism- I forget what opera it's from, but the lyrics translate to something along the lines of "women are fickle and have foolish thoughts in their heads". At first I thought, ugh, do they not know what the lyrics to this song mean? Why would they give him that to sing, of all things? But as the episode progressed, the sexism became a major theme, so I guess maybe it was intentional. Big yikes! The only things that were actually funny in this ep were when the Doctor imagined the computer sassing him and telling him to get going and save the ship, and Tom's 'WTF??' reaction face at seeing the Doctor's gross little fantasies. (Tom truly represents us all in this one.)

The real problem here is that the writer of this episode thinks that men treating women this way is normal, but it's not, he's just sexist. And so is the Doctor. So I found it very hard to have any kind of sympathy or root for him during this episode. Moreover, I think the whole premise that the Doctor is somehow being treated worse than any other crew member is ridiculous man-baby whining. They all have a job to do, and since they're alone in the Delta Quadrant, those jobs are even more crucial. Nobody on that ship would be allowed to abandon their Starfleet jobs to go do opera or whatever whenever they want, no matter if they're a hologram or flesh and blood. Nobody on that ship is getting a promotion either, and Harry Kim saved their asses more times than the Doctor did. The Doctor whining about not being assigned to go on an away mission is more privileged man-baby nonsense- nobody gets to go on every away mission just because they want to. And regular Starfleet officers aren't allowed to whine about it or be snotty to the rest of the crew over it and get away with it, they suck it up like professional adults- except for the Doctor, because he's a special boy, so he gets to be rude and snippy without getting a reprimand from anyone. (And B'Elanna was actually trying to be nice to him about it, yet he was still rude to her.) I guess the Doctor really is closer to being a real white man than he thinks, since he's got the whole sense of entitlement to special treatment down cold.

I just can't find any sympathy in my heart for rude, whiny middle aged white men, whether they're holographic or otherwise. The Doctor's disrespect is not only not funny, but once again, put Voyager in actual danger. Just because he was able to avert it in the end, it doesn't mean that the initial bad behavior was okay. I'm pretty sick of the way the Doctor's constant rudeness and disrespect of everyone around him is presented as acceptable or even cute, and he never gets any meaningful consequences for any of it.

Tl;dr: An episode that failed at being funny because it bought into sexist assumptions that all men think of the women in their lives as sex objects, and that men are oppressed when they don't get special treatment. There was so much gross dudebro stuff here that I found it impossible to sympathize or care about the Doctor at all in this ep.