#because I do come across as jaded a LOT

[luveline]

hii jade are u going to write something about hotchner!reader and spencer any soon?

—You panic when Spencer’s late for a date. He makes it up to you as best as he can. fem, 2.6k

cw implied past child abuse

You weren’t young when you were adopted, so you were instilled very quickly with the need to be grateful. How lucky you were to be given a second chance at a family. How you owed it to your new family to be the perfect daughter and sister to a father who didn’t like you and two brothers your senior. 

Family for you is complicated. It always has been. You didn’t get the unconditional love you’d hoped for in all of them, but you have one older brother who loves you as though you and him are two branches of the same tree, and maybe that’s enough for anyone. 

“Yes!” Aaron cheers, jumping up from the bench. 

You spin around with a grin that’s half shy, half ecstatic. “I did it!” 

Jack runs up to your legs. “You got a strike!” 

You pretend to give him a karate chop. “Boosh! Double strike.” You grin as Aaron sizes up the pins down the long ally. “Think your dad can get one before we run out of turns?” 

“No!” Jack laughs. 

You laugh at his easy answer. His father, determined now in the face of your disbelief, picks up a number twelve ball and stands at the arrows to take his last turn. You brace your hands on Jack’s shoulders and wait for the line to be put down again. 

You’re pretty sure he’s throwing his turns to let Jack win. You’d not done the same until you realised the yawning gap in the scores, and maybe you’d feel embarrassed for not noticing if Aaron ever made you feel bad for anything, but he doesn’t. 

Your phone rings as he pulls back his arm. You ignore it. “Good luck, dad!” Jack says under your hands. 

It’s that good luck that gives Aaron his strike. You cheer with Jack as the ball glides straight into the first pin and veers on a spin toward the third, creating a wave of noise and action as the pins go flying back toward the baseboard. 

Aaron turns around with a huge smile. “Jack!” 

“You did it!” Jack cheers back. “Not first, but you did!” 

You grab your phone from your pocket. “Couldn’t let me have it, could you?” you ask. 

“What do you mean?” Aaron picks Jack up from the floor to hold against his chest, pointing at the screen with love. “Look at that, buddy, you won! Can you see that? You got the most points!” Aaron kisses his cheek, high on happiness. “Wow!” 

You have two missed calls from Spencer. To Aaron’s begrudgement, you and Spencer are actually going steady. The first attraction didn’t fizzle, the dates turned to dating turned to exclusivity; Spencer Reid is your boyfriend, and he’s supposed to be taking you out to dinner in ten minutes. 

“Everything okay?” Aaron asks, creeping closer to you, Jack still in his arms. 

“It’s fine, he’s just running late.” You notice his small frown. “His mom’s doctor wanted to talk to him, that’s all.” 

“How late is he thinking?” 

The plan was you’d go bowling with your family and then meet Spencer outside to eat at the Chinese restaurant just across the parking lot, but it’s not seeming so sure now. 

“He said half an hour. I’m pretty hungry,” you say, “he’s gotta speak to a psychiatrist about something. I can’t eat though, right? That’s rude.” 

“That’s not rude, honey. You can’t help being hungry as much as he can’t help being late.” As you’d noticed his, he notices your small frown. “You can’t go hungry,” he says with a shrug, “so you’re gonna have to come and eat something, but Spencer can join us when he’s done.” 

“Right, because you’ll love that.” 

“I’ve been on more dates with him than you have.” 

You take Jack as he opens his arms toward you. “I forget. I always think of you as his boss, and not his teammate.” 

Aaron grabs Jack’s backpack off of the bench, and your empty cups off of the table to throw away. “I am his boss. Okay, Jack, what do you want for dinner? What sounds good?” 

You, Aaron and Jack leave the bowling alley and end up in the Italian restaurant opposite of your originally proposed restaurant. You carry Jack on your hip and text Spencer with your open hand, content to let Aaron guide you through what little foot traffic there is to your table. Aaron sits on one side of the booth with Jack, and you slide into the other side. 

Spencer’s texts are getting more and more convoluted. He says he’s sorry, and then he says he has to call someone else, and then he needs to talk to his mom. You nibble your fingernail. 

“You okay?” 

You nod slowly. “Yeah, uh… Yes, everything’s fine.” 

“Is Spencer okay?” 

“I think he might cancel.” 

Aaron flattens his menu. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I think his mom is having a bad day…” 

“What else are you worried about?” 

Jack saves you for a moment, “Dad, can I have juice?” 

“Yes, sweetheart, I’ll get you juice. Apple juice?” 

Jack presses his cheek to Aaron’s arm, earning himself a hug. 

“Are you tired?” Aaron whispers. 

“No.” 

“Okay. Hey, there’s a table over there with some colouring pages and crayons, do you see that? Do you want to do some colouring?” 

“Can I go get some?” Jack asks. 

“Yes. Don’t bump into anybody, okay?” 

The table isn’t far enough to worry, but Aaron splits his attention between Jack and you fairly evenly, just a tad more worry following his son. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Aaron asks. 

“You don’t think Spencer would lie, do you?” you ask. 

“Lie about his mother? I doubt it very much.” 

You trust Aaron, and you trust Spencer too, but Aaron has earned that trust over years and years where Spencer has been gifted it. He hasn’t done anything to break it, but he hasn’t proved he should have it yet either. And really, truly, it isn’t actually about what you believe of Spencer. 

You feel a bit nauseous, but your brother is the best person in the world, so you tell him why without preamble, “I’m worried that he’s going to get sick of me.” 

“Why would he do that?” Aaron asks. 

You scratch at the menu beneath your hand rather than meet his eyes. Because you’re awful. That’s what your father instilled in you, and it’s what you’ve come to learn. Eventually, the people who love you get tired of you. Everyone except Aaron, and isn't that proof of something? He’s the only man good enough to pretend you’re someone worth caring about. 

If he could hear your thoughts he’d probably cry. It’s why you’ve struggle to tell him. 

You rub your thumb into the side of your index finger, feeling the texture of your skin. “I think people just do.” 

Jack returns quickly, with paper and a huge fist full of crayons, though there are four colours altogether. “Well,” Aaron says, helping Jack back into his seat, crayons rolling released from a small fist every which way, “I don't. And Jack doesn’t, Haley doesn’t. I see no reason why Spencer would feel that way.” 

“What don’t I do?” Jack asks, frowning at his dad. 

“You don’t think Aunt Y/N’s bad at bowling, do you?” 

“You’re great at bowling!” Jack's eyes go wide. “I’m gonna make us a photo, to remember. We got strikes!” 

You let your face fall into your hand as Aaron strokes hair up the side of Jack’s head. It’s a soothing thing to see, you know the soft touch of his hand well, having been petted and patted through a hundred different bad moments. 

Spencer probably isn’t lying about why he’s late, but he could be. You wouldn’t blame him. 

“She’s very good at bowling,” Aaron says, hugging Jack to his side. “And so many other things, that’s why we love her. Should we make a list?” 

He used to love doing that, too. 

Your father wasn’t a nice or kind man. Aaron doesn’t know how it escalated, only knows what happened to him, and how he’d come to see you and you’d burst into tears the second he asked how you were. 

If Aaron knew how bad it was at the time he would’ve forced you to leave, but you never told the whole truth. He assumed it to be a mixture of everything —school was awful, dad was worse, and you were more isolated than most. 

Make me a list, he’d say. 

The first time you didn’t get it. You were a teenager sitting on his couch, his wife in the kitchen, a weight on your chest. What for? 

A list of the stuff that’s bothering you. 

Do you need a list? you’d asked. He had a knack for knowing more than you could say. 

I think we should make one. 

You realise now it was a strategy to calm you down. If you could quantify the things that were depressing you, you could begin to understand it, and hopefully dismantle some of the bigger problems. It didn’t always work, but it didn’t matter. It made you feel better just to have you and Aaron on the same couch with a notebook and a number two pencil. Don’t see my brother enough, he’d written with a sad face. 

Brother, you’d thought with a secret joy. He’s your brother. 

Jack and Aaron make a list they won’t show you. You order drinks and then dinner, waiting for a phone call or a text back you don’t receive. It’s disheartening, and when your pasta arrives, you can barely eat. 

“Honey,” Aaron says, “why don’t you go call him? You can see if he’s alright.” 

You poke at a shell with a tightly gripped fork. “What if he doesn’t want me to call him? It sounds serious.” 

“Maybe that’s why you should call him. I think he’d appreciate it.” He looks like he wants to reach for you, but ultimately, he doesn’t. “Take a minute for yourself, if nothing else. Everything’s okay, I promise.” 

“Sorry.” 

“For what?” Jack asks. 

You smile regretfully. “I’m just feeling confused today, babe. What about you? Are you confused about where your mouth is?” you tease lightly. 

Aaron gasps a laugh and reaches over to wipe Jack down with a napkin as you slip from the booth. You take your phone, worrying that Aaron’s eyes are on your back as you pass by the host booth and back out onto the street. The breeze kisses your clammy skin. 

Why do you assume that no one really likes you? It’s difficult to comprehend. Your thumb hovers over Spencer’s contact photo, debating, and debating. Should you call him? He might be preoccupied, upset even, and what if you make it worse? But if you don’t call him, you can’t reassure yourself that you’re not in trouble. 

He answers on the third trill. 

“Hello?” you ask. 

“Hey!” There’s a sound like something heavy has been put down. “Hey, I’m so sorry!” 

“Don’t be sorry!” you say immediately. “It’s okay. Are you okay?” 

Spencer’s voice is a little high and fast, but beside that, he has a nice tenor. When he’s calm and feeling up to it, alone at night with nothing else to do, he’ll read to you from one of his infinite books, his syllables catching and tripping over air as you rub your nose into his arm. 

“I’m fine! There was a mixup with some medication at the sanitarium and they realised my mom’s dose of one of her antipsychotics has been charted higher than she was really taking, so she’s been having a hard time, it’s a total mess but I think we have it figured out now. How was bowling?” 

“Spencer, are you sure it’s okay?” 

“It’s fine.” He laughs softly, not a hint of condescension or derision for you, but an emotion you can’t name. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to take so long.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“I mean, it’s fine if it��s not okay. I know you can’t help yourself sometimes, but you don’t have to tell me it’s fine if it’s not fine.” 

“Uh–” You cough around it. “No, it really is. You can’t help it. Family is important, right?” 

“It’s so important. Listen, where are you right now?” 

“I’m just standing outside of the Pasta Factory by the bowling alley. I tried to have dinner ‘cos I’m starving, but… I think I lost my appetite.” 

“What? Are you okay?” 

“I’m having one of those days, I guess?”

“What kind of day?” 

His voice is bouncing strangely, as though he’s talking near you. You pause, turning on your heel to look down the few stairs into the parking lot asphalt. 

Spencer’s walking up them, a bouquet of roses in his hands. 

“Hi,” you say, the phone still pressed to your ear. 

Spencer puts his away. “Hi. 

His hug is full, all-encompassing and warm as he wraps his arms around you, the bouquet a cacophony of crinkling against your shoulder. He smells like aftershave, his Tom Ford one with the woody tinge that has you pressing your nose into the top of his shoulder to just breathe. Your phone digs into his spine. He doesn’t say anything about it. 

“Hey,” he says softly, giving you a similar swaying, back and forth. “I’m sorry I’m late, I had to call them, but it wasn’t fair on you.” 

“Spencer,” you say, holding him tightly. “You’re my boyfriend.” 

“Don’t sound so unsure.” 

“No, but. We can be flexible, right?” 

“Of course we can, but I’m still sorry.” He peels back to smile at you, his eyes gently squinted. “So what’s wrong? What’s making it one of those days?” 

You can’t explain it to him. He likely doesn’t need you to. 

You’re expecting him to pull away —you’re in a public place and affection isn’t his usual expertise— but he doubles down. New boyfriend or not, this hug feels like it’s from somebody who’s loved you for years and years. 

“What’s making it a bad day?” he asks quietly. 

“I don’t know…” You rub your nose self indulgently against his shoulder. 

“Are you sure you have no appetite? Maybe that’s what it is? Stuff tends to feel bigger or more upsetting when we’re hungry because low blood sugar prompts your body to release more hormones that affect your cortisol level, and cortisol plays a big part in how your mind interprets your emotions.” Spencer pulls away, his hand sliding up your shoulder to hold you in place. He grins. “So I think you should still let me take you to dinner. Especially if you didn’t eat much.” 

Why would Spencer lie to you? you think, relieved. He wouldn’t. And the idea that he’s going to get sick of you, that’s rooted in bad lessons from a poor situation. It’s not a reflection on you. 

“We will,” you decide, “I just have to get my stuff. I left my bag, and Jack’s writing me a list.” 

“What list?” 

“A list of stuff I’m good at.” 

He doesn’t waver. “Really? Can I add stuff too?” You turn your nose up in an unsubtle prompting, satisfied when Spencer gives you a quick, smiling kiss. “Sorry,” he says, though his apology is distracted by a fond undertone, “I missed you.” 

You receive a few more gentle kisses for all your worries, and you begin to feel better. Spencer presses the roses into your hand and encourages you into the restaurant with his hand spread behind your back. 

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Catch My Breath

The first kiss.

Set in Christmas Eve 2022, after the events of Call of Duty Modern Warfare II.

Pairing : Simon “Ghost” Riley x Charlotte “Jade” Le Jardin (OC), Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x Eleanor "Ladybug" Graham (OC) Characters : Simon "Ghost" Riley, Charlotte "Jade" Le Jardin (OC), Captain John Price, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Eleanor "Ladybug" Graham (OC), Alejandro Vargas Word Count : ~ 9600 Warning : Fluff with a slight bit of angst, a touch of hurt/comfort, and good ol’ cursings.

Bulky McT 🧼 : ‘Dont forget to come to cpt prices house today.’

You : ‘Of course not. I’m still at the orphanage for christmas gifts exchange. As soon as I'm done I'll be there :)’

Bulky McT 🧼 : ‘Good’

Bulky McT 🧼 : ‘Gaz is making some bangin biscuits and scones’

Jade smiled at her phone as she chatted with Soap. Her mouth already watering from imagining the taste of Gaz’s cooking on her tongue. According to Soap’s and Ladybug’s testimony, his chocolate biscuits were second to none.

You : ‘Wouldn't miss it even if I die.’

Bulky McT 🧼 : ‘Alright. See ya.’

She bit her lip. There's one more question she wanted to ask though. She contemplated asking Soap this or not. 

Her thumbs moved across the screen slowly. 

You : ‘Is Ghost coming?’

When Soap had invited her to the dinner five days prior, all Jade could think about was whether or not Ghost would be joining. Their one week together in Las Almas made her feel… something. Something really, really good. Something she hadn’t felt in what felt like an eternity. He earned a friend in Alejandro, Rudy, Soap, and Ghost, especially, whom she’d thought of as a real piece of work back in Verdansk. Oh, how foolish she was. 

He was the best part about Las Almas. 

Dammit. What was she thinking?!

By the end of Chicago, after they eliminated Hassan, Ghost and Jade had traded phone numbers. Jade had his numbers and named it “💀💢 Beanpole 💀💢”, after the nickname she gave to him before they knew each other’s name. They haven’t texted at all. Ghost wasn’t the kind to text first, that much was clear to everyone who knew him. And neither was Jade. In fact, she didn’t know what to text him first. A “hi”? A… 

What else? 

What do people text each other when they’re trying to get to know each other? She had no goddamn clue. Well, she knew what to text when she wanted to get intel from an unassuming target, but she didn’t want intel from Ghost. 

She just wanted to know if he was okay, if he was fine, if the gash on his shoulder was healing well. Because of course, in her 29 years of life, a serious romance wasn’t a luxury that she could afford in her line of work in MI6. She took that lesson from her parents who literally had to ‘die’ first in order to even start. The point is, none of them texted first. They’re just another series of numbers in their contact list. 

An animation of dots showed up, indicating that Soap was typing. 

He’d typed for a few seconds before the animation stopped for a moment, and then started typing again. He must be changing his response. 

Bulky McT 🧼 : ‘If there's food he should be there.’

Oh? ‘... should be there’. That meant Ghost was not with Soap at the moment, and he didn’t know whether or not Ghost would be coming along. A week in Las Almas was enough for Jade to know that Ghost had grown closer to Soap as a friend-brother figure. The fact that Soap might not know his whereabouts was not a surprise, though. He’s the Ghost after all. 

But she couldn’t help but think, where was he? 

What did Soap type?

“Chacha! Can you help me a bit here? We're about to start the event!” 

Jade looked up from her phone, her ginger hair falling on her shoulders as she tucked her phone back in her pocket, swiftly walking over to one of her co-workers, Esther, an elderly soft-looking lady who volunteered for the orphanage - her former orphanage. This place held a lot of bittersweet memories, and it made her who she was. 

Her legs brought her to one of the high ladders leaning onto one of the walls of the dining hall. She took many mistletoes from the decoration boxes and swiftly climbed the ladder, hanging the vegetation one by one with ease. 

“Do we need this many mistletoes?” Jade asked while her hands worked. “At this point we’re gonna kiss someone by accident.”

“Of course not, what are you talkin’ about?!” Esther’s loud laugh almost broke Jade’s ears. “It’s Christmas, Chacha. The church had an overflow of mistletoes from the donations. If there's a day where we can add as many mistletoes as we can, it’s now. Let's call the kids over.” 

“Alright. Let's start this shall we?” 

—

The sound of Jade’s boots rang throughout the pavement as she hurried over to Price’s house. She travelled by public transportation from Surrey as she didn't have a car with her (plus she’s not much for driving safely - fake driving licence and… all that). She looked down at her watch to see 7 PM as the cold night finally settled. Each of her breaths turned to clouds in the air, shivering as she didn't have her outer jacket with her right now. She’s never one to be unprepared, but after one of the kids got too excited about getting a Lego toy and spilt a whole glass of apple juice onto her jacket, Jade had to fight through the cold with her trusty turtleneck and only one layer of thin knitted jacket as an outer, clutching the soaked coat close to her chest.

Finally, after what felt like an hour of walking, Jade reached the front of Price's house, immediately knocking on the wooden door three times. She looked up at the massive three-story building made out of bricks, that had a good space in the front yard. The building looked old like a family heirloom, but she could tell that it was pretty much taken care of. There’s a pair of trees that had shed all their leaves for the winter and had a decent amount of vegetation on either side of the doors.  

Jade looked back at the front yard. There were three cars parked in front, and she assumed that one of them belonged to Price, the other two should belong to either Gaz’s, Soap’s, or Ghost’s. 

The wooden door opened. She expected Price as the owner of the house to welcome her, instead, it was Eleanor, Gaz’s very own Ladybug who immediately screeched on top of her head. “JAAAADEEE!!! You’ve finally arrived!” The medic bursted out of the door hugging her figure so tight Jade might’ve folded. A beautiful burgundy sweater around a tan shirt wrapped her figure perfectly, and of course, with her wavy dirty blonde hair tied on the back with the ribbon Gaz gave her, worn out as it could be.

“Hey Lady! I miss you so much!!” The ginger greeted warmly all the while trying her best to stay balanced on her feet or else she’d fall five steps down to the ground on her back. As Lady pulled away, she gave room for Jade to step inside the warm house, taking a glance at Jade’s look. 

“Whoa. You only wear two layers? You’re shivering!” 

“Yeah. Apple juice all over my jacket, but don’t mind it.” She chuckled as she took off her jacket and coat to hang them on a standing coat hanger on the side of the door, “Have the others arrived?”

“You’re the last one. I came early with Kyle to bake the cookies and help Price with the food. Soap came second bringing sacks of snacks and drinks, and Ghost had just arrived before you, about 45 minutes ago.”

That caught Jade’s attention, her heart beat a little faster just at the mention of his name. “Just? Isn’t the Captain’s invitation at 5 PM?” 

 “Yeah. It looked like he was coming back from somewhere though.” 

Somewhere?

Lady’s eyes half blinked, looking at her teasingly. “...Am I sensing something here?”

“What? No. No. It's just that he’s um… usually an on-time kind of man.” Jade tried her best to act indifferent, looking away from her to observe the doorway decorations.

“Oh really? I see, I see.” Ladybug nodded, “Because I might have heard some stuff from Kyle~” 

Jade’s eyes opened wide at the statement, her mind already racing at the thought of what Gaz had said to his girlfriend. “What did he sa–”

 “There’s me trusty Ginger!”

A voice which she could identify from a mile away as Soap’s, called to her. Donning the green military-issued sweater above his uniform, which he rolled to the elbow, he walked in both women’s directions with a chocolate biscuit in hand. 

“Well hello there, Ocean Eyes.” Jade softly hugged Soap’s ever-bulky body while he patted her back several times. “How's your arm? Healing well?” She remembered how Soap got shot by Graves in Las Almas and how both of them, along with Ghost, had to survive the Shadow’s manhunt in the city. Even in Chicago he had to force through it. 

“You’re one to talk. How's your side?” Soap pointed at her left side while munching through his biscuit.

“You got hit?! Where?!” Ladybug, who’d been in Urzikstan to help Farah and Alex for nearly a year after Barkov’s demise, hadn't been updated much about Las Almas. Looked like Gaz left that tiny little detail. 

“She did get hit.” 

“No! No no. I didn't get hit per se. We were… breaking into the Las Almas prison to free Alejandro and the Vaqueros - a little bullet missed my hip, but it did leave a teeny tiny graze.” Jade made a little gesture with her thumb and index fingers.

“It wasn't.” Soap retorted, which made Ladybug look even more concerned. “You almost fell from the prison walls during our escape and LT had to catch you and carry yo–”

“ANYWAY.” Jade tried to dismiss the conversation away from Ladybug’s growing unease. “It was quite literally us four against a thousand. So we had our own hits. It was a month ago, right? I literally walked my way here! See? Now. Where's the man of the house?”

“Thought you want to camp in that doorway.” Price's gravelly voice called from the living room, his head peaking out from one of the walls. “Come in and close that damned door will ya? The forecast said it’s going to rain snow unless you muppets want to shovel the snow.” 

With Jade closing the door, they all walked together towards the interior of the house, where the warmth from the fireplace radiated throughout the room cozily. And holy shit. The word ‘family heirloom’ could perfectly describe the house. Some of the furniture looked like it was carved specifically for the house, soft carpets covered some parts of the wooden floor, and portraits of whom she assumed as the former Prices hung on the walls. The exterior of the house didn’t do the property justice at all. Soap had said that this was the Captain’s own house which he’d left mostly abandoned since he resided in Herefordshire. She wouldn’t lie, if Price turned out to be a secret old money she wouldn’t be surprised. 

Jade’s eyes found Gaz at the kitchen island wearing the same exact outfit as Soap and Price, but with an apron around his waist while he pulled out another batch of chocolate cookies from the oven. Gaz noticed her presence when Ladybug approached him and pointed her way. “Oh, Jade! Come here and eat the salmon. You’re not allergic to fish aren’t you?” This sight of Gaz was pretty surprising for her. He seemed more cheerful and open around Ladybug, contrasting to his serious demeanour in the field. It was refreshing, to say the least.

Jade put down her bag on one of the sofas where Price sat on the edge of it, shuffling a deck of cards in his hands skilfully. “Nope, no allergies. Have all of you eaten yet? Sorry I’m late.” 

“We have, and apparently my Ladybug over here is a vacuum cleaner of food.” Gaz was replied with an elbow to the rib by his partner. 

Taking her own plate of baked salmon, Jade watched from just enough distance as Price, Gaz, Soap, and Ladybug played a game of poker on the desk. The atmosphere was tense from the rivalry but hearty at the same time, their laughs filled the room as Price caught Soap hiding a card on his sleeves, which resulted in a 50 push-up penalty for the Scot. Apart from the chaos, Jade couldn’t help but find herself trying to find that one particular big man. 

The memories of sharing sleepless nights together on the rooftops of Fuerzas Especiales base rushed down her mind. Those moments made up the few moments of peace that they could muster up from the chaos of Las Almas. Just the both of them, the night sky, two cups of tea, and the lights from the city of souls. All those times they spent together completely with his mask on. Only when he decided to take off his mask in front of the 141 and Vaqueros did she ever see his face. 

She’s good with faces. That’s an absolute requirement for her job. That image of his face was ingrained in her brain. How the black paints surrounded his surprisingly soft eyes, how the sun reflected his whiskey brown eyes and light eyelashes, the scars on his cheeks from wearing the mask, and his strong jaw. 

Jade only wished she could enjoy the actual sight of it once more. 

The former MI6 turned her head a number of times, making up blueprints of Price’s residency inside her mind. This house didn’t have a rooftop, and from the looks of it, all the bedrooms are located on the upper floors. Ghost likes looking out at the scenery, so he might’ve gone upstairs, broke into one of the many bedrooms and looked out on of the balconies as he sipped on a cup of tea. Considering how Ghost was, he’d break into his captain’s house without anyone knowing about it just fine. 

All the while the others were playing, Jade finished her plate of grilled salmon and found her way towards the kitchen sink to wash the dishes. She came the latest, the least she could do was helping cleaning the kitchen area. That task came to a halt when her phone vibrated. She was confused at first, but when her eyes read ‘Col. Vargas 🤠’ on the screen, Jade immediately accepted the video call. 

“Hola, Coronel! Como estas?”

“Hola, Compa! Muy bien, muy bien.” Alejandro's gravelly voice greeted her excitedly as his video showed on Jade’s screen. She could tell that the sun was still up in Mexico judging by the light on his face. He looks like he’s standing just outside his family’s house. Quite rare to see the colonel in other attire than his military ones, but as Jade saw his blue shirt tucked inside his blue jeans, she couldn’t help the snicker that came out of her mouth. She remembered that Alejandro had revealed to her privately that he had two beautiful daughters who lived in Mexico City with their maternal grandparents. “I’m in Mexico City with my family to celebrate Christmas. We’re about to head to church for the Christmas Eve sermon.” Alejandro continued in Spanish, but something caught his eye. “Wait, Jade. Where are you? Is that Soap?”

Jade lifted the phone above her head to help him see the place clearly, “Yes, that’s Soap, Captain Price, Gaz, and that’s Eleanor, Gaz’s girlfriend.” She said in his language. Her fingers pointed at each soldier as they slammed their cards on the table, chaos ensuing in the middle of them. “This is Captain Price's house in London. He invited us all for dinner, and now that it’s done, they’re playing poker, aggressively.”

Now it’s Alejandro’s turn to laugh. “I’m assuming they’re on their second bottle of whatever alcohol they’re consuming.”

“Yep. Looks like Captain Price is richer than he lets on. He has 4 bottles of wine from the 1800s! Can you believe it?!” 

Jade and Alejandro continued their video call, sitting in her former position on the sofa. Despite Soap’s slight dislike that they were conversing in Spanish as he couldn’t understand what they were talking about, Jade kept on going. Jade learned that Rudy stayed in Las Almas to rebuild and restore the city after the Shadows wreaked havoc, encouraging Alejandro to leave the city and unite with his family. 

“So. Onto the most important topic…” Alejandro’s voice sounded deeper and his eyebrows lifted. Jade had learned after a thrilling week working together that those were a sign that he was onto something cheeky. “Where’s the Ghost?” 

Again, Jade’s heart beat faster at the mention of his name, and her stomach grew warmer. Damn it. “Um, I don’t know where he is. He is here somewhere in Price’s house, but… I haven’t seen him yet.”

“He’s there? Have you tried the rooftops?”

“This house doesn’t have a rooftop. It does have a lot of rooms with balconies, though. But I didn’t see any open window from the outside.” Her head started to look side to side, “ I don’t know if this house has a back or side entrance, he might be somewh– Alejandro!!” Jade stopped when she realized that Alejandro was laughing his belly off. 

“You’re looking for him too, don’t you?” The colonel guffawed. “Aaah, You should’ve seen your face when you were explaining where he is to me.”

“That’s–” 

“Look. I wished you luck with him back in Las Almas. It’s only natural that I asked for ‘updates’!”

“Keep fighting the good fight, hermano.”  “To the bitter end, my brother.” Soap handshook the Mexican colonel and sergeant as they were about to leave Las Almas. He then turned around and tapped Ghost’s shoulders twice, heading towards the rear end of the aircraft to unite with Price and Gaz. The lieutenant though, stood still on the tarmac a few steps behind Jade.  “Good luck amigos y amiga.” Jade hugged Rudy warmly, tapping her back a few times before holding out her hand to handshake Alejandro. Instead of a handshake, Jade saw a wide grin on Alejandro’s face and opened his arms wide, indicating that he was waiting for a hug as well. “Come here, Hermana!” Jade chuckled, expecting that a handshake wouldn’t be enough for the Mexican. She obliged by stepping forward and warped her arms around Alejandro’s figure.  What Jade didn’t see though, was how Ghost’s body tensed slightly behind her. Alejandro sneakily observed the man’s movement, looking visibly uncomfortable. No matter how skilled Ghost was at appearing as still as he could, Alejandro could see that this skill of his just disappeared when he was in Jade’s presence. Before Alejandro let go, he lowered his voice and spoke to Jade’s ear. “Que te vaya bien con el fantasma.” ‘Good luck with the Ghost.’ Jade blushed profusely when she translated that sentence in her mind, stepping away from the hug to punch his shoulder lightly “ey!!” She looked over to his side, finding that Rodolfo was also grinning ear to ear.  “I mean it, Jade.” Alejandro spoke in Spanish, tilting his head as a sign that he was serious. Jade’s head nodded in surrender a few times. As much as they wanted to converse more, her job wasn’t over yet. Her legs started to walk backwards, “Gracias, Alejandro, Rudy. Cuidate.”   Alejandro observed as she turned around, finding Ghost’s waiting figure right in front of her. She then tapped his chest plate once, jogging her way towards Price, Gaz, and Soap on the aircraft. That sight made the colonel scoff, glancing at Rudy, who looked as amused as he was. Just as Ghost was about to turn around as well to join his teammates, Alejandro called to his name. “Ghost!”  The lieutenant turned around.  “No te pierdas carnal!” “A huevo!”

“The both of you have forced me and Rudy to watch a telenovela the entire time! Please tell me that you’ve at least done something together after Chicago.”

“We traded numbers…” She said nervously.

“And then? Did he text first?”

Jade grimaced, expecting that Alejandro wouldn’t react well to her next response. “We… haven’t texted at all.”

“NO MAMEEESSS!!” Ale facepalmed on the video call like he just watched the Mexican national football team fail to score a goal in a World Cup match. “Ghost… I swear… you need to do better.” 

Jade stood up and walked over to the kitchen aisle yet again and put her phone on a leaning position on the wall, hoping that Alejandro’s shout of despair didn’t reach the other soldiers. “Well– what if he doesn’t want to continue this… whatever’s going on between us?” she grabbed a white mug and a cocoa mix, putting in 3 spoons of the choco powder inside. “You’ve seen how he is. I don’t want to hope too much.” Jade confessed to the colonel, pouring hot water on the mug and stirring the contents with a spoon until the sweet aroma hit her nose.

“Oh you don’t know that yet, right?” Ale replied, “Do you want to have a relationship with him?”

A relationship with Ghost? 

That sounded crazy to say, but if she's being honest with herself, yes. Yes, she did. 

“Yeah…” She started to walk towards the hallway on the side of the kitchen with the warm mug. The walkway looked narrow and led to the rear side of the house. She guessed that if this conversation was prolonged, they were going to need a place where Soap wasn’t shouting his lungs off. Her green eyes looked to the end of the room, where a wooden door similar to the front door was present in front of her. A back door perhaps?

“Okay. Now one of you needs to start. Ghost clearly isn’t starting because he’s a stupid, bad man. But maybe you can convince him that you’re worth his time.”

Worth his time? “How?” 

“Start by finding him.”

The former MI6 walked towards the back door and glanced over the glass parts where the outer side of the house was visible. Just then, she registered a man with a large frame, sitting on the stairs of the back porch. He wore the same attire as the rest of the SAS members - their military uniform covered with a military-issued sweater, and layered further with a familiar black jacket that she’d seen before in Chicago. The man had a mask over his head, but she could see that it was currently lifted up as he took a sip of what she assumed was bourbon. 

That’s definitely Ghost.

“Jade? What happened?” Alejandro asked curiously as she stopped speaking earlier.

“I found him.” She muttered.

Alejandro’s lips curved, slowly forming a smile. 

“The floor is yours, Jade.”

—

*5 hours earlier*

Johnny : 'LT. You’re coming, right?'

Ghost looked down at his phone, staring at the message that Johnny had sent him, not planning to text anything back. 

He hated Christmas. No, he didn’t hate decors, the bright lights, the red, green, and white that coloured the streets and buildings around him. No, he’s not petty like that. He’s indifferent to it. 

What he hated was how the month of December always reminded him of the darkest part of his life. 

He lowered his phone and tucked it inside his pocket, going back to the sight of his family’s gravestones right in front of him. His mother, brother, sister-in-law, and nephew. 

Ghost remembered the blood; the foul stench hitting his nose as he stood frozen, witnessing the lifeless bodies of his family – all surrounded by the colourful lights of red, green, and blue from the Christmas tree that they were decorating. If only he realized sooner that his enemies wouldn’t settle with torturing him. If only he wasn’t so naive and thought that his battles were done as soon as he was home. How wrong he was. 

How fucking wrong he was. 

Ghost’s tears had dried out a long time ago. Every Christmas Eve he always visited their graves. He’d cry for the first three years, but now he’d settle with staring at the stones, not a word coming out of his mouth. Just him, alone with that memory.

His phone vibrated again. Johnny’s still messaging him about the dinner at Price’s house. Ghost closed his eyes in annoyance and sighed, taking his phone and turning it on to find a few messages.

Johnny : ‘Captain said not to disturb you during Christmas week’

Johnny : ‘Idk what you’re doing now’

Johnny : ‘but I hope you’re enjoying yourself’

Ghost moved his thumb on the keyboard screen, wanting to text Johnny that he was not coming and to stop messaging him. 

Johnny : ‘Also’

Johnny : ‘Jade’s coming’

His thumb paused right above the send key. 

Fuck. 

Why did his heart beat faster suddenly? What was this warmth in his stomach? His memories of his family’s death disappeared, and suddenly all the moments with Jade came down rushing through his mind. 

The moment when they met – where they shot at each other in Verdansk, leaving a permanent mark on his left ear – The sleepless nights in Las Almas, the meaningless conversations, their moments in battle together. How beautiful she was when she kept her calm during pressing and stressful situations, the grace in her movements…

Fuck. 

Fucking hell.

Ghost had read Price’s invitation two weeks before in their group chat. He already made up his mind from the beginning that he wasn’t coming. He never really enjoyed parties or any form of gathering at all. That’s how he’d been living for three decades of his life. Why did that one mention of her name from Johnny instantly change his resolve just like that? 

He didn’t reply to Johnny at all, only leaving the two blue check marks indicating that he’d read Johnny’s messages. 

And that… was how Ghost ended up sitting on Price’s back porch. The crescent moon was high in the sky. Little bits of snow started to fall down alongside the windy weather. For the first time of the day, he had his skull-painted balaclava up to his nose in order to take a sip from his glass of bourbon. 

When he had arrived at Price’s front yard with his sedan, Ghost saw the amused surprise in Price, Gaz, and Lady’s faces, but he also took a glimpse of Johnny’s smirk on his lips. The sergeant now knew the way to his heart, and it infuriated him. God damn him.

The sun was already long gone by that time, and he could see that the others were already in the midst of eating their dinner. 

He’d sneakily taken a glance around Price’s luxurious house.

No Jade yet. 

Ghost had conversed for a while with Price, took his own plate of baked salmon, poured himself a glass of bourbon, and excused himself to the back door. For an hour and a half, he sat right there, slowly sipping on his alcohol. Just as he thought that she wasn’t coming and that Johnny had lied to him, the wooden door behind his back opened.

He turned around and found the woman herself.

Jade. 

Her ginger hair was braided like usual, but stopped on the back of her head, letting the long hair run freely down her back and shoulders. The deep red turtleneck which usually looked out of place in warm weather such as Las Almas currently fitted perfectly on her figure. A green pair of wide pants hung from her hip, letting the fabric run freely downwards instead of wrapping around her legs like the jeans he’s used to seeing her wearing during their mission together.

Ghost caught her green eyes, reflected by the moonlight, and he could easily tell that she wore some sort of makeup. What the name was he couldn’t bother to remember, but she looked… beautiful.

His heart was already beating pretty fast from the alcohol, but now it’s going even faster, and don’t even start about the butterflies that were flying rampant inside his stomach right now. 

She only stared at him, her breaths turning to cloud along with the vapour from the cocoa mug she was holding. For a few seconds, they stayed like that, until Jade finally started.

“Why aren't you inside? It's cold.”

Can you miss someone’s voice? Apparently you can, judging by the unexplainable sense of relief that washed over him after he heard her voice. The last time he heard her voice was back in Chicago, a month ago. He then turned around again, facing Price's plain backyard to try hiding any signs from his exposed mouth that she might read. The former MI6 had this scary skill to read every body language of any person. Sure, he had a mask up to his nose, but he wouldn’t take any chances.

“I don't like parties.” He replied.

“It's cold.” 

“Better than whatever's going inside. And I have my friend right here to keep me warm.” He slightly lifted the bourbon glass, shaking it slightly to make the content swirl.

Jade hummed. She observed his glass and noticed the alcohol. For all their nights in Las Almas, Ghost always drank tea, never alcohol. Of course, they were in active duty, so drinking liquor could cost them so much, but he'd said himself that he pretty rarely drinks, since Ghost had confessed that he liked being in control of what he did. She wondered why he was drinking, but she let it go. Instead, Jade stepped two stairs down, and sat beside Ghost’s left, drinking her own cup of hot chocolate.

“Why are you here?” Now it's Ghost’s turn to start. 

She wondered how to answer that. If she's being honest, the answer would be ‘to be with you’, but she deleted that response in her mind.

“I… don't really like parties.”

“…You don't look the type.”

She raised an eyebrow. “What’s ‘my’ type?”

Ghost took another sip from the glass, “Likes being around people. Gets your energy from a communal space.”

The former MI6 scoffed. “Fooled you right there. Maybe it’s just me, but being around people automatically sets me in observation mode. Don’t get me wrong, I like people. It’s just tiring.”

“Hm.”

Another few seconds of silence, before she continued. “What about you? Why are you here?”

“Gets noisy inside, especially if Johnny's starting to lose his grip on reality.” Ghost immediately answered, almost like he expected Jade to ask him that. “He’s a screamer.”

“Hey how's your graze wound? It's healing well right?

Jade suddenly asked, which surprised Ghost. He glanced at Jade, finding the woman herself looking straight into his brown eyes. He should admit, her face so close to his caught him off-guard, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding, creating a cloud in the air. Ghost then took a sip from his glass again before answering. “Yeah. I changed the dressing every once in a while. It's just a scab now. “ To be honest, he kind of forgot about the wound on his right shoulder. It was disgustingly painful during their time in Las Almas and Chicago considering how he must carry the chestplate and his gears on that shoulder. The memory of Jade tending to that wound of his at the safehouse came rushing down his brain.

“Okay, that's a relief then. Just make sure you don't scratch it or it'll open again.”

“I know the drill, Midget, I’m not a kid. This isn't my first rodeo. What about you?”

“Wh-what about me?”

“Your hip.”

The former MI6 sucked both of her lips between her teeth. “It’s fine.”

“Fine how?”

Jade now looked at Ghost’s brown eyes, intensely gazing at her own. He wasn’t taking ‘It’s fine’ as an answer. He was always an intense person. She suddenly remembered the feeling of being safe in his hands when he carried her towards the van, arms under her shoulder and knees when she couldn’t bear the pain in her hip any longer. 

How Ghost had slept the whole night, in a sitting position on a chair beside her bed in the safehouse with his mask on, staying right by her side.

“Oi. Midget. I’m asking you.”

That snapped her out of her thoughts. “Huh? Yeah! It’s a bit itchy at times, but I can manage. It’s healing well.”

That answer seemed to finally satisfy him. “Hm.”

Jade went back to her hot chocolate, but Ghost didn’t leave her. He could see her shivering a little bit in the cold. The tip of her nose and ears had turned rosy.

“You cold?”

“Hm? No! No, not at all. Why?"

“You're shivering. And where's your jacket? A single layer of sweater won't help with this fucking weather.”

“Well– About that. I was at the orphanage for Christmas gift trading earlier before coming here. One of the kids got… too excited and spilt apple juice all over my jacket, so I had to take it off.” She admitted. 

“What, you're gonna freeze yourself to death here? It's 1 degree out.”

“I don't want to be insiiiide.” Jade whined, almost childish. A sight Ghost would never admit he found cute.

“Your survival instincts are out of the damn window. I thought you were a seasoned MI6 black agent.” Somehow he found more ways to ridicule her.

The ginger scowled, pouting her lips before standing up “…Whatever, I'm going inside”

“Fuckin’ hell– stay. Stay here. Sit back down.” Ghost’s swift hand grabbed her forearm a bit too harshly, prompting her to balance her hand as a drop of her hot chocolate spilt out to the white snow below. 

“Why? You want me to freeze to death?” Regardless, she sat back down, closer to his body now.

“You're the only company I've got that isn't annoying. So stay here.” Ghost unexpectedly moved his arms to take off his black jacket, revealing his green sweater underneath, and much to Jade’s surprise, his arms loomed over her and rested the dark clothing around her shoulders. Her bewilderment failed to hide itself when his hand patted her shoulder a couple of times to set it in place. “There. Better?”

Wow. It’s… warm. And most importantly, It’s his warmth. 

One of her hands left the warm mug, softly tracing her fingers along the hem of the jacket to tuck it closer to her chest. “...Better.”

Shit. Ghost didn’t know the sight of Jade beneath his jacket would create more butterflies to fly like bees inside his stomach. In an attempt to suppress it, he sighed, leaning back and closed his eyes to take a deep breath. 

…before he opened his eyes, finding a mistletoe hanging right above them, placed neatly. And purposefully. It’s like a damned grenade trap. “…Fuckin’ hell…”

“STOP SWEARING!!” Jade exclaimed, annoyed at his shortage of vocabulary. “You've said those words twice in the same mi– What are you looking at…?” Jade looked at Ghost, who was leaning back while his head hung backwards on his neck. 

She looked up as well, finding the mistletoe that made him swear. “…oh, blimey.” There was not a single Christmas decoration on the back side of the house but this one. Price was a person who had a high attention to detail, but Christmas decoration was not one of them. Heck, he barely decorated the house at all. That thing was hung far too strategically.

Both Ghost and Jade were thinking of the same thing.

Soap. 

Ghost sighed, “Just ignore it.” 

“But it's bad luck though.” Jade thoughtlessly said.

“You don't really believe that, do you.”

“Well I don't! It's hanging vegetation. Still, I'm saying it could be true.” Her hands gestured at the mistletoe above her.

“What, you want a kiss?”

The woman gasped, almost offendedly. “HUH? KISS YOU??”

“Who else is underneath this fucking mistletoe?” 

She joked, trying desperately to hide her panic at the thought of kissing him. “A ghost.”

“Fucking funny. Also what's with you? It's just one kiss.”

Jade stopped speaking. Her eyes widened as she pursed her lips. “Um…. I just don't…”

Confusion fell down Ghost’s half-masked expression, quickly reading her reaction, until he got to the conclusion. “...Don't fucking tell me you haven't had your first kiss yet.” 

When he saw how Jade couldn’t respond anymore, Ghost pinched his forehead.“Bloody hell... Then why did you say you want it?!”

“I NEVER SAID I WANT IT??? I just said that the bad luck thingy could be true!”

“Well fuck us for five hundred years then!” 

“DAMMIT– OKAY!! KISS ME!”

Those words perplexed him, not realizing that he was practically glaring at her that his eyes might come out of its socket. The ever-present black paint around his eyes didn’t help to ease the tension either. Jade herself didn’t know which thunder slapped her that she said those words. She wasn’t the kind of person to just spout things without thinking of the consequences first. 

Ghost observed Jade’s face, trying to read her expression, to see whether or not she was joking or serious. Because in the deepest part of his heart, he’d hoped that she was joking. But even deeper, he hoped that she wasn’t. “…you don't mean that.”

Jade wondered if her mouth had disconnected from her brain. What she was saying came out literally the opposite of what her instincts were. “You heard me. You can kiss me. Just a peck though.” What was she thinking? This was NOT what she wanted to say. Or was it? “How many women have you kissed?” Aaand now she’s prying onto his past? Great job, Jade. 

He used to be young, that’s for sure. Despite his father and brother mocking him and his mother for it, he used to go to school and met a few women during his learning days. Only two of them, though, and that was all before he got into military. He didn’t know what commitment was back in the day, and his ‘girlfriends’ didn’t know that either. “...a few.” 

“Were they experienced?”

“Probably so.” 

Okay, so he had some experience. That somehow made her feel easy. “Well… I have zero experience on the act. So… be gentle, okay?”

“…Fine.“ Ghost breathed as he put down his almost-empty glass on the stone staircase behind him, finding Jade doing the same. 

The coldness of the wind prickled her skin, making her realize that this was not a dream. He’s about to kiss her, and it’s from a mistletoe. Out of nowhere, she remembered the overflow of mistletoe that the orphanage received earlier. Could that be a sign? Either way, she snapped back to her current state, where Ghost was visibly looking at her lips, and that sight made her heart drum twice the speed. At this point, she might explode. “Okay. So… what do I do? Do I tilt my head a little, or do I open my lips just a little bit? Should I lean in to kiss you too?  Or like–”

“Just. Stay. Still.” Ghost shut her up before she could blabber more.

“Okay okay okay”. 

Jade watched Ghost secure his mask up to his nose, revealing his mouth. When she glanced at his lips, Jade could see a tinge of red on his cheek, but she could dismiss that as a reaction to the cold or from the alcohol he was drinking. When he leaned in slowly, Jade could see him so close, the closest he's ever been to her. His eyelashes were longer than she's ever realised, fluttering against his skin, the little healed scars on his face–

Jade sucked her lips into her teeth, "WAIT WAIT WAIT." Making the man flinch and pull away in confusion.

 "What?! Do you wanna do this or not?!" Ghost exclaimed.

"I do, I do! It's my first time! Just–”

“I said all you need to do is stay. Still.”

“I've never done this before, literally! I'm 29 and I've never kissed someone!”

Ghost fell silent as Jade hid her face on her palm.

“…I have never fallen for anyone before.” She confessed. “I wanted my first kiss to be with the one and only, and now… “ Her hands wildly gestured to the mistletoe above them, “someone happened to put a mistletoe right above us.”

Jade was a lot of things. A formidable fighter, a dependable ally, a brave operator who’d jump from a cliff with you, a spawn of the devil herself when she does her thing. However, at that moment, Ghost didn’t see any of those at all. All she saw was a vulnerable woman, curled up in a ball because she couldn’t fathom the concept of a single kiss.  

After a few moments of him letting her collect her thoughts, Ghost muttered, “…Jade, if you're not ready, then we can just pretend that it doesn't exist. You don't have to.”

“You know what?” She tapped both of her knees with a considerable force, like she just made up her mind about something. “I gotta start somewhere right? Besides, when I finally kiss my man, I need to work on my kissing game.”

Ghost couldn’t help the scoff out his mouth. And… ‘her man’, huh? That could be a dream. “'Kissing game'?”

“Yes! Gotta…know what it feels like, at least?”

Ghost observed her expressions yet again. The woman in front of her was looking at him like she’s about to surrender her life to his hands. What, was he about to shoot an apple above her head? To him this was just a kiss after all.

Or was it?

Jade wasn’t his girlfriends during his younger days. She’s an extraordinary woman like no other. 

“…Okay. Look. We're gonna do this slowly. I will do all the work while you can just stay there. Does that work with you?” Ghost started, looking at Jade in the eyes.

She put on the bravest face she could muster up and proceeded with a nod.

“Say it.” The deep timbre of his voice sent shivers down her spine, because of course, it wasn’t enough for him. 

“Okay, Ghost.”

“Good. Close your eyes, Jade. Just calm down. Trust me.

As she closed her eyes, she breathed the cold winter air deeply before letting them out. Now that her vision was no more, her other senses had heightened. The sharp cold air stabbing her skin, the smell of hot cocoa on her hands, the faint scent of something that could only come from Ghost's jacket wrapped around her shoulders. 

For a good amount of time, she didn't feel anything other than her surroundings. Jade was expecting something on her lips. Anything from the man that was sitting right in front of her, but none came. She was about to open her eyes and call his name, until something touched her chin, lightly lifting her head to face upwards. And just then, Jade finally felt a soft, tender kiss on her forehead. His lips stayed there only for a second before they parted with her skin, yet it felt like she longed for it for more than eternity. No one has ever laid their lips on her skin before. No one. 

What she was expecting was something on her lips, not her forehead, so when Jade was about to open her eyelids, again, he stopped her by putting his fingers on her left cheek, tenderly sliding them from her rosy cheek to the back of her ear, taking the stray strands of her red hair with them. The hands that killed, that murdered many so more could live, were gingerly touching her face with an unexpected amount of softness. She didn’t know his hands were capable of doing such delicate movements, and neither did he. 

Before she could register what was happening, she felt him getting close again, and for the second time, her expectation betrayed her when Ghost kissed her cheek, just right under her eye. The kiss lasted longer than the one on her forehead, yet Jade couldn’t find any reason to complain. If anything, she wanted his lips to stay on her cheek longer than that. To feel him closer, to feel him more. 

Ghost’s fingers moved on backwards from behind her ear, going through the wilds of her undone hair and finding its place on the back of her head. Heart racing, Jade was expecting another kiss that was not in the designated place. However, when his deep, raspy voice softly said to her, “I’m going to kiss you now.”, she found herself giddy with her eyes closed. Part of her wanted to open her eyes and see what was going on right in front of her, but the other part stood strong against it, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

So when she felt him closing in, Jade gave all control over to him. She relaxed herself, letting Ghost gently pull her head closer to his, to at last, close the distance between their lips.

 It was the softest, slowest kiss possible, filled with unsureness on her part, yet with a sense of certainty and confidence from him, and because of that, Jade let him do his part, leading the kiss to the point that it was enjoyable and… lovely. 

The kiss lasted for only a mere 5 seconds at most, but it felt like hours. Ghost reluctantly pulled back and saw that Jade had already opened her green eyes. Her face was painted with shyness and shock, a pleasant one, as she saw that Ghost had removed his mask entirely, his face right in front of hers, his brown hair still a bit dishevelled from removing his balaclava.

Jade was a heavily trained warrior and an exceptionally skilled individual who stayed calm in times of distress and emergency on the battlefield, a force to be reckoned with, and could be an absolute menace when she wanted to be. Now, seeing the same woman like this – dazed, wide-eyed, a blushing mess, and taken aback by a simple kiss – The sight made him smile softly. 

If only she'd known how long he'd wanted to do that to her.

Palm still resting on the side of her neck, he asked her, “How was that for a first time?”

Jade looked like a robot losing its ability to function. There were no words in her brain to respond to his question. Scratch that. It looked like she didn’t even register what his question was. 

Seeing her so flabbergasted made him let out a deep chuckle. “Midget. I’m talking to you.”

That bastardized nickname snapped her out of her thoughts, making her blink rapidly, seemingly trying to sort her jumbled brain. Jade looked at the man who just claimed her first kiss right in his dark, brown eyes. 

He’s still right in front of her, face looking at her delightfully with a sweet smile, not like the usual dark, ready-to-kill gaze. It’s almost like looking at a different person entirely. 

“Uh… Umm–” Jade couldn’t form words.

Another chuckle, “You okay?”

"...this is a weird request, but" A pause, "Can you… do that again?"

Never in a thousand lifetimes, he would ever expect that answer from her. "...You want me to kiss you again?"

"Yeah. Can you do that?" She spoke with a low voice. "Please?"

His eyes opened wide at her request. Confused, but amazed at the same time. Did that request mean she liked it? Her expressions said that she did, though. Or did she just want to make sure? Nevertheless, Ghost decided to oblige and leaned in again to kiss her. 

Jade closed her eyes again and felt his lips against hers for the second time that night. His kiss was as soft and as tender as the first time. This one, though, she decided to take in the feeling of his rough lips, the way he tilted his head to fit hers, the way his large hand lightly pulled her in and softly kissed her. All the sensations she felt from his actions became ecstasy.

Her hands lifted their way up to find Ghost's cheeks. Jade could swear she heard a small gasp from the man. Fingers gliding along the side of his face, she could feel his stubbles grazing her skin. It was such a surreal sensation, to think that this is the face of the man who got branded as a ghost, a myth, who wears the mask to hide who he is. Right now, she's having her palm on the skin of his face, and he allowed her to. 

No one had touched the skin on his face in years. No one ever managed to get their hands on his face save for enemies who sought to kill him and punched his mask before meeting their demise with his knife. The only form of touch he remembered was of his father, who was all but loving.

With the tip of her thumb, Jade traced the scars on his face. Her warm hands instantly built a gentle fire on his skin. The feeling of such a tender touch was almost like meeting a stranger to him. But if it's a stranger, why did he find himself missing it so much? Why did he yearn for it so? Her touch ignited a warmth that he never knew he needed. 

At that time, the woman he was kissing felt more like home than anything and anyone ever did. He felt like he could just melt right there and then. Here Ghost thought that he was the one kissing her, but now it was like she was the one casting some sort of magic spell on him. 

Soon, their hands moved, Jade’s hands left his cheeks and found his wrist who was holding the back of her head. He almost forgot the feeling of someone’s hand on his own, but before he knew it, he felt her other hand grasping his sweater, right above his heart, crumpling the cloth. As they went on, he couldn’t just stay still anymore. Ghost’s other hand also found its way to her back, lightly pressing on her. He wanted her closer, he needed her close.

Ghost snapped himself out of his thoughts and pulled back, catching Jade off guard. 

The both of them looked into each other's eyes as they caught their breaths, not noticing that they'd been kissing for the last minute. Faces extremely red from racing hearts and rushing blood, clouds of cold air escaping their mouth from the cold, for a moment they thought they knew this was just because of a single mistletoe, yet deep down, they knew this was something more. 

Not hearing anything from one another, Ghost took his hand back from her neck and waist as Jade parted her hands from him to her lips with her hands. 

The man spoke first, "You need more?"

"Yes– I mean– No! That was enough." Words stumbled their way out of her mouth. "Uh… So… that happened. I just had my first kiss."

Ghost couldn't help the smile, "I just stole your first kiss."

"No. You didn't steal it." She denied, "If anything, I'm glad you are my first kiss."

Hearing those words, Ghost could feel his heart racing again, the world suddenly felt warmer. 

"I'm sorry you have to kiss me, though. You've always hated me." Jade continued with a laugh.

"Who says I hate you?" 

That made her look at him, and what she saw was the most gentle face she'd ever seen him. Again, she didn't know he was capable of that expression. "If I hated you, I wouldn't ask you to stay, wouldn't I?" 

That's a true statement. "You're right. So we're past the "stay away from me" phase now?" 

"Our first meeting was in Verdansk. Situation was out of control and we were off to a bad start." He explained, "And we just kissed. We're way past that now."

Smiling, Jade pursed her lips before saying, "So… are we still friends?" 

"Friends?" He glanced at her.

"Yep."

"Friends then." Confirmed Ghost. 

"Who just kissed each other."

"Because someone hung a fucking mistletoe on the back porch." He retorted while gesturing to the decoration above them. 

The woman laughed out loud before looking at the man, who was also having a chuckle of his own. 

That's the first time she heard him – saw him – this happy. Had he always been this… handsome? She'd only looked at his face once before, which was when he revealed himself to the team in the Los Vaqueros safehouse in Las Almas, and then, never again.

But if this was what Jade could see beneath the mask – his happy face, the crows feet on the corners of his eyes, the corners of his lips turning upwards, and the fact that she just learned that he had shallow dimples when smiling – then she wished the mask could just disappear. Forever.

Because after this… he would  put on that mask again. 

This might be the last time she saw him without the mask.

When would she see him without it again?

Out of nowhere, some unexplainable force of will inside her made Jade lean in and left a peck on Ghost's cheek. 

The SAS lieutenant instantly looked at the woman, flabbergasted. 

Jade herself gasped loudly, covering her face in disbelief of her own action. She couldn't see it, but in his eyes, her face was as red as her hair.

Why did she do that? What made her do that?!

They swore it was the most deafening silence in their lives. Both of them stayed like that for a good 10 seconds, seemingly trying to make sense of what the fuck just happened.

"Oh my God… OH MY GOD. I’M SORRY. I’M SORRY!” Jade uttered in absolute panic.

Ghost stayed still in silence, his eyes wide open glaring at hers. 

Oh shit. Shit shit shit. He’s mad. HE’S MAD. 

“It– It's freezing! I'm going inside!" Jade scrambled to stand up, taking the cocoa mug with her and went to the doorway, before remembering that she still had Ghost's jacket on her shoulder. 

"Ja- Lottie! Wait–" He was about to stand up to follow her, but his words got cut by his jacket flying straight to his face. When he removed the clothing, she'd already disappeared into the merry party inside. 

Touching the part where Jade kissed him, Ghost slowly stared back at the falling snow in front of the porch. He hadn't worn his jacket yet, and somehow he didn't feel cold at all.

It's so hot. 

It's too hot. 

He buried his face in his palms, before running them through his brown hair. She didn't have to do that, didn't she? There was a mistletoe, they kissed because of it, and that was it, right? 

Then what was that peck for? There wasn't any obligation involved that required her to kiss him again. 

Ghost could feel his heart pumping blood faster than it ever did, faster than when he was on the battlefield, faster than when he ran laps every day. Butterflies were rushing deep inside his stomach, flying all around his insides like it just wanted to break out of his body.

He didn't know why, but if the kiss and her touch were a gentle fire that built slowly, that little peck felt like he just got struck by a damn thunder. 

Violently.

And yet, he was so happy about that little peck - weirdly more so than the kiss - Too fucking happy. 

Ghost grasped the sweater right above his heart before muttering to himself, 

"Fuckin’ hell…" 

Jade didn't melt his cold heart. 

She set it on fire. 

—

Price couldn’t believe the situation he was in.

His sergeants, Kyle and Soap, along with Ladybug, leaning on the back door of his house, looking at Ghost and Jade kissing at his back porch. Fucking spectacular.

“See, Gaz?! I told you–”

“SHUT UP Mate they’re gonna hear your loud arse.” Gaz nudged the drunken Scot’s rib to silence him. 

Nevertheless, the plan worked. Gaz and Ladybug was the provider of the decorations since Price didn’t have any Christmas Decorations in this house in London. When Soap arrived with a mischievous look on his face and told the couple about “Operation Red Skull”, they were automatically IN on it. 

And who would’ve fucking guessed? They made his house a home ground for matchmaking, and they succeeded. They weren’t his best subordinates for nothing after all.

Suddenly, Price heard a loud gasp from the three in front of him. His captain persona suddenly kicked in and stepped forward, shoving both of his sergeants to see the situation clearly.

There they saw Jade and Ghost, looking at each other, with Jade’s face looking like she was absolutely shocked. 

“Oh my God… did she just sneak another kiss to him?!” Ladybug exclaimed with a whispering voice.

“FUCK! I didn’t have a clear visual.” Gaz followed.

“I think it was just a peck to his cheek??” Soap added.

“Everyone fall back!” Price commanded, and just like muscle memory, they all scrambled back to the living room, taking their respective deck of poker cards and sat around the messy table to pretend like they were still playing.

Soon after, Jade herself opened the back door with a face that none of them had ever seen before – a combination of shock and embarrassment.

“Jade? You okay?” Lady twisted her body to see Jade.

The former MI6 nodded uncontrollably like a shaking head doll. “Huh? Yeah. Yeah yeah, I’m okay.”

Gaz and Soap were covering their mouths with their deck of cards, unable to hide their smiles. It looked like they were about to break into a massive laughter any second now.

What broke it was Captain Price, who suddenly asked Jade,

“Really? What’s that black spot on your nose, then?”

---

YEEEHHEHEEHEHHHEHE. Sorry for the long wait! Thank you for reading! Hope y'all enjoyed it! (❁´◡`❁)

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated <3

[stevebabey]

Eddie has a test.

It took some time to formulate, a few too many times with guys careless with his heart, who leave behind more heartache than happiness littered in their memory. It’s fucking hard to tell.

More than once, there’s been a dude who promises between kisses i’m not going anywhere and takes more than his fill during a night which Eddie desperately hopes is passion and not some misguided lust. Only to wake a familiar empty side of the bed, them gone — skipping town, back in the arms of their parent-approved girlfriend, or back to spitting his name out with the word freak.

It’s what the test is for.

It’s specific, purposeful, all intending to weed out the straight boys who liked to dip their toes in the pool of queerness and leave Eddie to any consequences of the heart. Eddie doesn’t want to turn cruel, to be too jaded after feeling used too many times. It’s what the test is for. Protect the heart, see what interest is genuine.

Right now, he’s putting the test on Jared. New in town and in Eddie’s life, he’d captured the metalhead’s gaze from the glint of his pierced ear and light eyes that lingered. Kissed a little mean, and with too much teeth, but Eddie chalked it up to excitement. Jared seemed good. Nodded and smiled when Eddie found himself wrapped up in yet another DnD spiel. Said he found it endearing.

The test is simple.

A bid, a nudge, for attention. Never anything big or too exciting— that always got him specifically warped smirks designed to lead him along. Just something minuscule, like will you come take a look at my notes? or can i play you that riff once more? to see if it gave.

The pattern runs deep in Eddie’s dating history; same ol’ jerks who couldn’t bother to come and look at his new DnD sketches are always the ones who are only leasing a new sexuality for a month. It’s like setting a minefield and seeing who stumbles on a landmine, the bids getting ignored is as early as a warning sign he’ll ever get.

He tries the test on Jared.

It’s a Thursday night and Jared’s round at the trailer, lounging on Eddie’s sheets and still a little flushed from the night’s earlier activities. Usually it’s a good sign when the guys stick around after sex, not flying out the door once they’ve got what they want. By now, Eddie has drifted away from his bed, skittish thoughts already off and away with new campaign ideas.

He’s scrawling in a character design, some new boss, half troll, half hellhound, that requires a lot of finicky details worked out. The page is covered in scribbles, nothing in any semblance of lines and a crude first sketch is in the middle. It’s not quite the vision he had in mind but it took him an hour, so he’s hardly going to erase it. Besides, it looks pretty fucking metal to him.

“Hey,” Eddie calls out, a bit soft. No pet-names used— most of the time boys didn’t like them and wrinkled their nose. Those that didn’t mind, never returned them. “Can I show you the sketch I’ve been working on?”

He pauses, then launches into an explanation without waiting for a response, “It’s for the new campaign I’ve been planning, one of the bosses, and honestly, those little shrimps have no idea what’s coming for them.”

Jared, still slouched on the bed, peeks up a bit at the noise. He hadn’t really been doing much, just leafing through some of the junk beside Eddie’s bed. If Eddie let himself hold any hope, he would say it’s because he wants to know more about Eddie.

“Huh?” Jared asks, genuine enough that Eddie thinks maybe he didn’t hear him.

“A DnD boss?” Eddie says, eyebrows raising. He barrels on, thinking about how Dustin had helped propose the new boss, with a grin spreading across Eddie’s face. “Dustin, the little twerp, challenged me to pick a random combination of creatures and mash em’ together- see what crazy abilities come from it.”

“Who’s Dustin?” Jared asks, failing to sound like he cares. His eyes have wandered elsewhere, head falling back on the pillow and Eddie’s initial question about the sketch is long, long gone.

Oof. And that’s like 3 failed bids at one time because Eddie talks about Dustin all the time. Jared clearly isn’t interested in Eddie Munson, just what he can offer. Eddie’s heart grows a little colder.

“Look, I think I’m gonna get going, yeah?” Jared says, maybe sensing Eddie’s mood change as he begins to sit up and tug his shirt back over his bare skin. His sticks his feet in his shoes, laces them up. Eddie nods, tucks his notebook behind him and walks him out, plastering on a smile the whole time.

After ambling down the stairs to the trailer, Jared turns back, after searching the surrounding area for leering eyes, and he reaches out and gives Eddie’s hand a squeeze. Just a split second, before it flies back to his side.

Eddie would like to believe that he’s at least worthy of a goodbye kiss. Even if some wicked part of his brain says he’s not, that boys like Eddie Munson don’t get sweet goodbye kisses. Don’t get good relationships, just mindless flings.

The thought makes hurt flares in his gut, Eddie so desperately trying to protect his hope, and so before Jared can say anything, some pitiful goodbye, Eddie leans out the doorway and says, “Don’t call me.” then slams the trailer door.

It follows him around for the next week, his own personal storm-cloud to keep his head grey even when it’s sunny out. He mopes to Robin about it during her shift, probably the only other person he can talk to about it.

“So, you tested him? What does that even mean? Is there a gay test you know about that you haven’t told me about? That would be so uncool, man.”

She’s talking as she types, half paying attention to the computer. Steve is out in between the shelves, putting out a new batch of films— Eddie knows because he’d instinctively sought him out when he came in. Harrington was a pretty boy, sue him for wanting to enjoy the view.

Didn’t help he was also decidedly declared not-a-douchebag by Eddie during the whole upside down spiel and had the duality of biting off that bat’s head and somehow being the world’s biggest sweetheart for his friends. Friends that now included Eddie.

 What can you say? Going through that much together, including killing a death wizard and getting dragged out of an alternate dimension certainly forms some strong bonds. Plus, Steve was hot.

(Eddie denies the crush on the basis that would. never. happen.)

At the reminder of Vecna, Eddie winces and supposes he should be lucky he gets any sort of attention after that whole scandal. But it doesn’t stop him from draping himself across the front counter, laying pathetically with a pout on his lips. He shakes his head fervently at her question.

“Not a gay test, Robin.” He stresses. “It’s the Eddie-Munson-is-this-boy-gonna-stick-around-test.”

He rolls up onto his elbows and props his head into his waiting palms. “Gotta make sure I’m not being treated like some common whore.”

It’s meant to be a joke, a usual joking lilt to his voice, but the end of the sentences comes out a bit too bitter to land that way.

Robin’s sympathetic expression makes Eddie’s chest twinge in a way he doesn’t like. He waves her off. Slumps back down a bit before deciding he’s done enough wallowing in the public eye.

Robin doesn’t say anything as he pulls out his usual notebook, pages weathered and filled. Eddie usually hangs around the store on days without plans, flits between Robin and Steve, and scribbles in his notebook. She bites her lip, gaze moving between the book and the resigned expression on Eddie’s face as he turns to the latest page— the strange hellhound troll mashed up boss.

“Okay, I’ll bite—what’s the test involve?” She asks, pausing in her typing for a moment. Her hands don’t stop moving, still stressing the fabric of her pants twitchily. Eddie perks his head up, clutching his pencil a bit tighter and rolls right into it.

“It’s not even really a test, technically, but doesn’t matter- that’s just what I call it - it’s like a bid?”

Robin raises her brows and they disappear under her fringe. “A bid?”

“Yeah! A bid!” He waves his arms around as he speaks, gesticulating a bit wildly. “It’s like— like asking them to come look at something stupid and small, just to see if they’ll give your interests time of the day, yanno?”

He punches a finger down into his sketchbook. “A guy who can’t even be bothered to look at a sketch I worked on for an hour? Douchebag.”

Eddie’s tone turns a bit sing-song as he continues, like it’ll somehow distract from the bleakness of them. “Ergo, not sticking around.”

Robin’s hands finally stop their messing, becoming completely still against her legs. She finally swivels her body to face Eddie, a furrow between her brows. Her lips are quirked up, just a bit, like she knows something Eddie doesn’t. He feels his apprehension grow as he slumps his chin back into his hands.

“You mean, like how Steve is with you?”

Eddie stands a bit straighter at that, some flushed combination of disbelief mixing with delight flooded his body.

“What?” It comes out a bit more squeaky than intended. Eddie clears his throat, waves his hands, anything to stop that smirk from spreading across Robin’s face — he can feel his cheeks glow a bit warmer at the mere idea. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Robin smiles a bit and nods over to where Steve is. “Try it, test him.”

Eddie follows her nod, casting his eyes across the store to find Steve. He finds him situated in the romance section, a pile of cardboard box stacked beside him, the top box open and ready to be unpacked.

But Steve’s clearly been distracted by the first film in the box — he’s sunk deep into his mom-stance with one hip popped, one hand on his hip, the other holding the film as he reads the back cover of it very intently.

Eddie watches for just a moment, watches Steve squint and pull the case just a bit closer, wrinkle his nose adorably, snort a little laugh at whatever he’s reading — and dammit, this is just a fast track to insanity if Eddie watches him any longer.

“Steve,” he calls, too hesitant and too quiet. Steve’s head doesn’t move, he just flips the cover back over, marveling at the front. Eddie tries again. “Harrington!”

Steve’s head pops up, eyes skirting about to see who’s calling him. He doesn’t move when he sees it’s Eddie calling, just raises his brows. “Yeah?”

Eddie swallows, tries not to think of Robin paying close attention to both him and Steve. He grips his notebook a bit tighter even though he’s not entirely convinced Robin’s right. Steve Harrington doesn’t like DnD — not even for Dustin who has self-proclaimed himself Steve’s ‘adorable little brother that he never had’. Steve is hardly going to care if it’s Eddie asking.

“Do you wanna take a look at this sketch I’m working on?” He asks, as casual as he can.

Steve’s features give away just a hint of surprise, a blink as he comprehends what’s been said. Eddie holds his breath, ready to turn to Robin and say ‘I told you so!’ and to pretend that he’s not secretly hoping Steve will say yes.

“Sure,” Steve says, slotting the film back into the cardboard box and beginning to meander between the shelves towards the front desk. Eddie doesn’t even get time to be surprised because Steve’s suddenly there, in front of him, all expectant.

Eddie opens his mouth, thinks the better of it, and snaps it back closed. Instead, he thrusts the notebook to the side along the countertop, opened to the page of the sketch and doesn’t say anything. In the background, Robin snorts lightly. Eddie shoots her a glare.

If Eddie could look at Steve, he’d see the lightly amused expression on his face, but Eddie only focuses on the book. Really focuses. God, if he looks at Steve he’ll probably get some stupid mooned expression on his face that would totally give away his tiny stupid not-a-crush.

In his peripheral, he can see Steve sidle a little closer and lean over to peer at the page. And while he looks over it intently, Eddie let’s his eyes drift up, taking in the side of his face.

Curses his stupid handsome face. Then curses it some more when Steve lights up in recognition, turning to Eddie, excited to have a sliver of an idea what Eddie’s showing him. Normally, it’s all mumbo-jumbo to Steve. Not that he hasn’t tried to keep up but those kids are ahead of the curve and Steve wasn’t about to embarrass himself asking them to slow down their explanations.

“Woah, is this that one that Dustin was talking about?” Eddie thinks there might be a bit of genuine excitement leaking into Steve’s words.

“The weird like, mashed up, uh, what’s the word? Hyp- hypb—“

“Hybrid,” Eddie supplies, voice cool. His heart is not feeling so cool. Jesus Christ, Steve wasn’t supposed to pass Eddie’s test— he wasn’t even supposed to be tested. In order for that happen, they’d have to even be fooling around and Eddie blames his building blush on that mere suggestion.

“Yeah!” Steve raps his knuckles against the countertop and takes a second look at the drawing, closer this time. He looks back up at Eddie, so he knows he’s completely sincere when he says, “This is really cool, man.”

“Okay.” Eddie breathes, sounding a bit stupid. He remembers himself, remembers Robin watching him essentially bluescreen at the praise from Steve and wrenches his awed smile into a familiar smug type of grin. 

“Of course it is, Steve-o,” He quickly amends, reaching back and tugging the notebook back. It’s closes with a quick snap, like Eddie’s afraid Steve will take another look. “She’s not finished yet, of course.”

Eddie had to bite his tongue to keep it from either taking an insanely egotistical route to pretend Steve’s praise hadn’t had a profound effect on him, or even worse, start trying to suddenly be humble — oh this ol’ thing? it’s nothing really, just threw it together quickly— Eddie nearly melts against the counter in relief when the bell on the front door saves him.

A customer enters the store, instantly taking Steve’s attention and he bounds off to help them, an easy smile on his face.

Eddie waits until Steve and the customer wandered off into the aisles to release his breath. He doesn’t look at Robin, just turns and presses his forehead down against the countertop. Then raises it just a bit, and thunks it back down, a couple of times for good measure.

“Okay, okay—“ Robin’s gone a bit wide eyed and she waves her hands at Eddie’s pathetic form, his head still bonking against the counter. “Stop doing that. Jesus, Eddie, are the dramatics always necessary?”

His motions stop at Robin’s words and Eddie’s whips his head up. He narrows his eyes at her, and as if to prove his point, exaggeratedly jabs a finger at her.

“Hey! Never deny my right to be a drama queen. It is my god given right as an American citizen—”

“He passed.” Robin says, cutting off what was about to be a very long rant about god knows what. Eddie just didn’t want her to say what she was about to. “Your test. He passed, didn’t he?“

That. He didn’t want her to say that.

“He’s being a good friend! A very good nice friend!” Eddie counters, only sounding a little bit whiny which takes half the conviction out of his words. He slams his hands down against the wood. “That test is for— it’s not for him! It’s for—”

An annoyed noise comes out of Eddie’s throat and he aims for one more thunk of his head against the counter before tugging it back up and meeting Robin’s smug expression. She’s too smug. Her whole face is smug smug smug and Eddie scowls. He points a deliberate finger at her again.

“Different context, alright? That—” He waves an arm behind him, in the direction of Steve carelessly. “—doesn’t count. Nope. Not- that’s not how the test works.”

Robin sighs, as if she realises how fruitless it is to keep chucking this argument between the two of them. Her hands finally resume their typing and Eddie lets his head drop again, this time resting it against the wood a tad more gentle. He slumps, blowing a pointless raspberry as he tries to evacuate every thought that’s entertaining Steve as more. Or Steve wanting more of Eddie.

“Look,” Robin says suddenly, halting her typing once more. Eddie rolls his head so he can see her but doesn’t bother to lift it. She’s sideways in his vision, but still barreling on in that Robin way. “One last thing and then I swear, I’ll leave it.”

Eddie raises his brows. Says nothing.

“Have you considered,” She pauses, and appears to be trying to pick her words carefully. “whether anyone else is putting their bids on you?”

Eddie wrinkles his nose, knowing exactly what she’s hinting at. Subtlety has never been Robin’s strong suit. It’s even more obvious when her eyes dart across the store — Eddie seriously doubts she’s talking about the random customer that had just entered.

“Just think about it?” She pleads, and Eddie feels his annoyance at how easily he can feel his heart roll over. “See if you notice any bids from... anyone! Anyone at all.”

Eddie picks his head up, chances a glance towards Steve and admits, there’s no harm in trying. Even though, Steve had surprised him today Eddie can find a dozen reasons to chalk that up to. A dozen reasons that don’t include mutual feelings.

Eddie mulls it over, because because what are the chances really? Steve putting bids out to him? To specifically Eddie? The chances are slim to none.

So the answer he gives is, “Sure.”

He’ll get to tell Robin later she can stuff it and wipe her smug expression off with the most righteous i told you so on the planet. There was no way she was right about this, right?

Part two. Part three.

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You - svt smau

The birth of your son three years ago was what caused your breakup with Wonwoo, your longtime (and at that point, long distance) partner. Now, you're getting concerned that Orion is starting to look a lot like his dad, but that's not your only problem. Wonwoo is back… and he's living across the hall.

Genres: smau, romance, drama, comedy, angst, single parent au

Pairing: jeon wonwoo x afab they/she reader x mystery member(s)

Warnings: coarse language, conversations about sex, mentions of pregnancy, mama/mom/mother is used to refer to reader's parental status sometimes, infidelity, light alcoholism, miscommunication as a plot device, some of the teenies are not so nice at times, slut shaming, angst, everything is unrealistically dramatic because this is basically a kdrama in text/twitter form. warnings may be updated as they come, but I will label chapters properly if it's anything major

Note: unfortunately, I did have to make the mc for this series have female reproductive organs because, well... that's the plot. I couldn't find a good way around it :( if anyone reading this is discouraged, please know that pretty much every other fic I've ever posted is gender neutral. So, if you think you might've liked this smau, please check out my masterlist! hopefully there will be something you like there :) ALSO! if anyone makes fun of Orion's name just know that it's the name of a precious baby cousin of mine and if you bully smau Orion you are bullying irl Orion!! do not touch him!!!

(new!) Updates will post when I have the time and motivation

The taglist is full! Leave a comment under the post linked here if you're not on the main taglist to be notified when Oh Baby, You is completed.

Profiles I: Orion's Prettyboy(gn) Posse

Profiles II: Wonwoo's Famous Friend and the Other Guys

Profiles III: Gyu and the Rise of Capitalism

1. Everybody Loves Vernon

2. Tens Among Tens

3. Grown Ass Men

4. I Hate This FUcking Family

5. The Ones Keeping Secrets

6. A LITTLE Curious

7. You Go Girl Get His Ass

8. The Calm

9. The Storm

10. It's Been a While

11. Fucked Up Coincidences

12. Not... a BAD Guy

13. Still So Affected

14. Just My Type

15. Nothing to Hide

16. Fists Up

17. Act Natural

18. Girl, They Blocked You

19. Plot Relevance

20. Actually it is a Date

21. It's All Pretty Confusing

22. Scripted

23. All it Takes is a Smile

24. Yoon Jeonghan is Watching

25. Completely Surrounded

26. No Such Thing

27. What Does That Mean

28. A Name I've Heard Recently

29. Can't Risk It

30. Errand Day

31. One Day at a Time

32. Confrontation

33. Not Looking to be a Parent Any Time Soon

34. What if I

35. For This Little Guy

36. Get Blocked

37. I'll Take Care of You

38. Messed Up, Stupid, and Jaded

39. You Fucked Up

40. That's For You to Figure Out

41. Need to Try Something

42. Recovery Mission?

43. Your Everything

44. You're Cute When You're Like This

45. Not Sponsored

46. This is Nothing

47. Promise? Promise

48. Hhrk

49. A Busy Afternoon

50. Cherry

51. Don't Freak Out

chapters loading...

52. Bad Guys

53. Everything is Fine

OBY Ask the Characters Game

[yanderefarm]

yandere angel who’s sooo sweet and devoted ? like a cupid or something

yandere angel

cw;; blood, violence, yandere tendencies, abusive relationships, religion, corruption

you: sweet and devoted!!

me: he's so devoted to you he wants to make you bleed. got it.

no but really i hope his weird sweetness comes across. i was having a hard time writing this one. i knew i wanted to do something with the idea of a cupid becoming literally sick with love and the idea of a human just inherently corrupting an angel. i almost wrote y/n as a lot more of a bastard while the angel was just broken by mistreatment but i decided against that bc it might make some people uncomfortable.

ultimately i decided that he's a bit of a bastard and y/n is jaded. i like writing different types of sickness for different yanderes. i think a yandere who wants to monopolize you so badly that he'd be excited if he was the only thing you ever looked at with anger or fear is fun. he wants to take care of you and make you happy of course! he loves you so much. but if you're going to be bad and make him hurt you then he'll enjoy watching you in pain. i also like to imagine sometimes y/n gets back at him by hurting him too. he wouldn't mind if you were sadistic as long as you only showed him that side of yourself.

i don't really have any plans to elaborate on him more than this unless people end up liking him and wanting more of him.

he starts off as a good normal angel, he's a cupid it's his job to help people find love. after a night with you he becomes corrupted and bound to you. he lives with you, cooks your meals, makes your bed, just generally takes care of you. but he's sick. if too many people love you he'll have to kill them so it's best for you if you don't spend time with anyone but him. you're so afraid of what he'll do you can only go to work and home.

there's a story in myth that speaks of what happens when you lust after angels, an unforgivable sin to lust after and corrupt that which represents god. the punishment for humans is their undoing, a mythical unraveling at the seems until there is nothing of you left. but what of the angel? some say that corrupted angels have their wings ripped from their back and they're thrown down into hell. 

you wish that was the case. 

the angel that follows behind you is not currently spending eternity in a pit of fire and you are not currently being ripped apart cosmically. in fact it wouldn't be odd to assume that you two had suffered no punishment for defiling god's holiest creation. you couldn't be entirely sure that the angel had actually been punished but you certainly had been. you can feel deep inside of you something happened to your soul that night, something was taken away from you. according to the angel his punishment was his obsession with you but you couldn't necessarily see how it was a punishment when he seemed so happy. honestly you didn't even trust him that he wasn't always this obsessed creep. 

what kind of normal angel thinks that it's a good idea to flirt with a human at a bar to "get your self esteem up"? either he was just that stupid or he'd always been this broken. even if he was just that stupid he had to know what would happen to him if he went back to your house with you. you hadn't known shit. you thought that you were just getting a casual hook up after your last relationship ended in you feeling undesirable and unlovable. you weren't trying to lust after any angel! and now you were stuck with him forever. 

you think you might hate him. no one else can see him because he's in his angelic form and all day he's either pushing your friends away from you or he's overwhelming you with all his "love". you watch as he's putting sewing needles in your coworkers lunch. he claims that this coworker has feelings for you. you both know that the only one eating the needles will be you. maybe that's why he puts more in there. you think he might hate you too. 

in a few hours you're standing outside your office building coughing up blood and little pieces of metal. "could.... you ......sto-stop?" 

his hand gently rubs your back as you cough. "I'll stop when he's dead." 

"im no-not... gh-gonna let you... bastard..." your body is trembling. 

"mm~ then i guess I won't stop." he's getting some sick enjoyment out of this you're sure. 

you can feel your vision getting darker and your head falls against him. you feel his arms craddle you so tenderly and you honestly miss coughing up needles. 

it's always like that. neither of you die no matter what either of you do. you're trapped together until the end of time. maybe this is what they meant by unraveling you, your mind will wither away until there's nothing left of you. sometimes you let yourself believe he means it when he says he loves you. sometimes you think you might love him too. 

[dotster001]

Those are the Eyes...

Summary: Jack Howl x gn! Reader. Jack discovers a new magic that will finally free you from those who wish to use you. (It's not that serious. He's just being Jack)

CW: Crowley is an ass, but what else is new, silly fic, nothing serious

This fic was sponsored, for the Fics for Gaza Project! Find out how you can sponsor a fic here.

Jack was sick of you getting pulled into terrible situations by your other friends. When the two of you had started dating, he had hoped he would have a little more sway when it came to your decisions of whether to listen to an ADeuce idea or not, but he had had no such luck so far. 

And it wasn't just them. You were too kind to everyone in this school often at the expense of your own well being.

"Y/N! We haaaave to add more money to the tuna budget."

You looked exasperated. "Grim, I've already told you, we've put all the money we can into the tuna budget."

Grim pouted and crossed his arms. "Do we really need to fix the stairwell this month? I think it's fine the way it is."

It wasn't. Honestly, Ramshackle should have been condemned in the shape it was in.

"Yes, Grim, we really do," you sighed.

Grim suddenly held a paw to his forehead. "Oh! The Great Grim feels faint!" He fell backwards and whimpered. "I'm starving because of my cruel Hench human. I may die right here."

"You're not starving Grim, your tuna budget is fine," Jack finally cut in. But when he looked over at you, he could see that you were going to cave.

And then it happened. It came from deep down inside of him, like a second unique magic. His pupils expanded, his eyebrows rose ever so slightly, and his bottom lip stuck out in a little pout.

Suddenly, the look on your face changed. You looked at him with concern.

"Aw, c'mon Jack, don't give me those puppy dog eyes!"

But his face held his expression, and now his tail was drooping for good measure. "It would just tear me up inside if you weren't able to live in a safe environment, Y/N."

That did it for you. You placed your hands on his cheeks and hastily exclaimed, "If it means that much to you, I won't change the tuna budget." You hugged him and nuzzled into his chest whispering a "sorry". Which was fine, because it meant you didn't see his tail wagging up a storm.

He had thought maybe it was a fluke. But after running a few experiments, he realized you were weak for what you called his "puppy dog eyes". No longer could Ace get you to paint the roses for him. No longer could Ruggie get you to give him some of your lunch for nothing. No longer could Grim guilt you into buying more tuna than you needed. Finally, the two of you didn't have to play parents to everyone and you could spend time together.

But with great power comes great responsibility.

He was sitting in Azul's office, sizing him up across the desk.

"What did you want from me?" He asked finally.

Azul gestured dramatically. "There's a rumor going around that you can make a certain prefect do whatever you want."

He snapped his fingers and Jade pulled out a contract.

"I am prepared to offer you…."

But before he could even finish the offer, Jack was leaving the room.

It wasn't a one off thing.

"Ay, Jack!" Ruggie sidled up next to him on the way to class. "You think you can do me a solid? See, I have a lot of chores to do for Leona, and I was hoping you could ask Y/N to…"

And Jack was gone again.

The headmage had summoned Jack to his office. He placed a plate of delicious food in front of him, and was staring at him with a serene smile on his face.

Jack did not trust that one bit.

The headmage leaned back in his chair, simply watching Jack. Jack stared back, not touching his plate.

“Mr. Howl, I was hoping you could help me with a situation. I, and the entirety of the student body, will be eternally grateful.”

Jack said nothing, continuing to stare. Normally, he would assist the headmage in any way, his sense of honor always looking for a way to help the school. But, with the recent attempts to use his new ability for selfish ends, he was extremely suspicious.

“I have called the prefect in for a meeting. You see, it's the time of year where the dark mirror provides us a list of names for potential incoming students. I need a secretary, who will write down the list of names, compile the addresses, send out the acceptance letters, etc. etc. You understand, surely.”

Crowley leaned in conspiratorially, a sly grin on his face.

“You will help me convince them to take on this task, for the sake of our esteemed university, won't you?”

Jack stood angrily, slamming his hands on the table as he leaned into Crowley's face.

“This power I have been given is strong. And if I waste it on things that are to the detriment of my partner, then I do not deserve to even be with them.”

Crowley's smirk turned down right sinister.

“A shame, truly. Too bad. Because they are already here.”

A knock rang from the door, and Jack's head whipped over in time to see you walk in. Your eyes lit up when you saw him, and Jack had to fight off the embarrassment of not having anywhere to hide his wagging tail.

“Perfect, welcome! Have a seat!” Crowley said, and Jack felt a guilty sense of pride as the light left your eyes upon hearing his voice.

You walked to the empty seat next to where Jack was standing, taking it. You raised a brow expectantly.

“What do you want, headmage?” You asked tiredly.

And Jack knew he couldn't simply be a witness. If he couldn't protect you from one crow, then what was his new magic ability for?

“I need you to be my full time secretary until the end of the school year-”

“Am I getting paid?” You asked, bluntly.

“No, but-”

“Then no.”

At that moment, Jack realized he was not the only one with a secondary unique magic that was capable of manipulating you. Crowley's expression shifted into one of a cruel, terrifying, debt collector.

“Night Raven College is an esteemed university, one that is exclusive to only the best mages. And yet we have provided you with a home, and an invaluable education. All for free. The least repayment you can give is selflessly serving our university.”

He watched as you deflated. The truth was, you'd become invaluable to NRC. There was no reason Crowley would logically kick you out, especially for a job he had done alone for years before you had popped into this world. He was bluffing.

But the move was working. You were opening your mouth to accept the job, when Jack knelt before you, placing his hands on your leg to get your attention. Then he activated his power.

Your mouth instantly closed, your expression shifting to one of distracted adoration at his “puppy dog eyes”. 

“The budget we would need to hire a secretary will, unfortunately, have to come out of the renovation budget for Ramshackle.”

Your face immediately flicked back up to Crowley. Jack had underestimated how strong Crowley's powers were. The crow had had years to grow his abilities, while Jack had only had a few months.

Jack pawed at your leg, forcing his ears to droop as he intensified his “magic”.  Your look of dejection melted, your lips parting in a silent “aw”. 

“We may even have to get rid of an extra student. Providing for two of you is an unnecessary expense, to the board.”

You whipped back to Crowley, but Jack knew that was his last card. But if he smiled smugly now, he would lose. So he dug deep within himself, pulling at an inner supply of strength.

His pupils expanded even further, glitter and hearts filled the air, and he watched your face split into a dopey grin, your hand moving on it's own to scratch behind his ears.

“Sorry headmage, I don't think I can,” you said, your voice sounding loopy and lovesick.

The headmage scowled, but Jack held firm, the sparkles and hearts floating in the air twirling for good measure.

“Fine. You win this round Howl. But, next time, I'll be prepared for you! Mark my words!” Crowley shouted.

Luckily, you were too caught in Jack's spell to even hear his words, as he escorted you from the room.

You were halfway to the mirror chamber to return to Ramshackle, when you turned to him, cupping his cheeks, and exclaiming,

“Sevens! You just look so cute!” Then you kissed the tip of his nose.

His embarrassment caused him to drop the puppy eyes spell. He looked away, rubbing his neck for something to distract himself. When he looked up, you were blinking in confusion.

“Where am I? I thought I was in Crowley's office. How did I get out here?”

Now he was more embarrassed. He'd gone too hard, too quickly, with his magic.

He was about to apologize, when you smiled at him sweetly.

“Wait, it was my perfect, handsome wolf who protected me, right?”

Oh.

Oh no.

He wasn't the only one with magic to make someone lovesick.

....

Tag list- @eccedentesiast-sapphic @leoll @strawberrystepmom

Lemme know if you want to be added to my regular tag list. I lost my original list, so this is just the one I could find.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

I reread your tanjiro reader post and always wondered what would happen if it’s a Muichiro reader?

How would the Vise and dorm leader react if reader was known as a Young prodigy in Swordsmanship and is very rich?

Since Reader is has amnesia, she would always forget that she’s in another world but was always reminded by her loyal crow

Both the Dorm leaders and Vice Dorm leaders are a bit much

🖤🖤🖤

Muichiro Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

You’re doe-eyed, airheaded, painfully blunt, and a true sword prodigy. Always forgetting and wistfully floating by in life only really reacting to your memory’s deepest secrets. The only thing that keeps you grounded is the loyal crow that gives your missions. While you are as determined as you could be to return to your world the boys of Twisted Wonderland feel the exact opposite. You don’t have much of a will which makes it easier to instill their own: 

Trey Clover

“(Y/n)?!”

“...”

“(Y/n)?!”

“Hmm?”

“How long have you been like that?! All the blood’s going to rush to your head!”

His obsession festers from his worry

Taking that big brother role and watching out for your wandering self

But then he realizes its more when you in a rare moment of clarity speak your truth

Lighting the fire inside him 

And he can’t help but want to protect you

Even when he watches you slice at an entirely insane speeds 

He still feels the need to safeguard you

Even if it means keeping you in the dark about everything

Rook Hunt

“Mon amour brumeux! Please show me the prowess of your sword!”

“...”

“Oui, your beauty is shining even when you dream!”

You’re so lovely for him 

Not reacting to his open photography 

You don’t even protest when he swabs the insides of your cheeks

He’s brought to shivers at the thought of your immense power with a docile personality

In fact he’s never seen someone so skillfully dodge and reflect arrows without being angry

You’re just so perfect for him 

He’s determined to have you 

And he wonders will you fight when he takes you or just let him

Ruggie Bucci

“You’re so gullible! You’ve got to fight me if I take your food! Come on showing me your game face!” 

“You want me…to fight you?”

Shink

“Whoa whoa (Y/n) hold on!” 

He thinks your airy attitude is a breath of fresh air

But he realizes how easy it is to string you along

And he feels no one is better to do that then him 

Well guess he’s getting a lot more practice with ‘laugh with me’

Specifically in accidental injuries

Lilia Vanrouge

“Whoa (Y/n) you’re so skilled! Would you be willing to maybe spar with me?”

“No, I’m looking at the clouds.”

“Awww come on baby! Pleeeeaaasseee?”

He loves pestering you 

Because you don’t really react so it ends up bothering him instead

Ultimately he finds himself obsessed with knowing your inner workings

And when you say something insightful he feels his heart speed up and his cheeks flush with a feeling he hasn’t felt in ages

Won’t you give this dying fae his final wish and stay with him forever

Or maybe he’ll come with you–the greatest mystery he’s ever come across

Jamil Viper

“I sometimes think I could hypnotize you to do what I want…but you’re so flighty I doubt it would even work.”

“...Your hair looks like Kabumaru…”

“What?”

He thinks you’re the cutest 

Even when you expertly wield a sword

He wonders how knowledgeable you can be if he eliminated your chances to go home

If you stayed they’d be the perfect duo 

He’ll be your brains if your his muscle

Heck you can even leave the killing to him

Jade Leech

“Ah, I see you’re busy staring at the Monstro Lounge’s tank.”

“...”

“You seem to like fish.”

“...No, no I don't think I do.”

“Hmmm, how would you like to be one?”

Floyd’s nickname of JellyFish is accurate to him 

Especially when you show off your sword skills 

An almost mindless creature that has a sting

But he thinks you’re allure is like a mushroom

Possibly deadly but wonderfully gorgeous

Perfect for a terrarium tank of your own

[bluesidez]

HEY POOKS. Could you write a DBF!Miguel x dancer!reader. He just loves to watch her dance in competitions and recitals and helps her practice her routine by counting out 8’s for her <333

( maybe he can give reader a reward for doing so well but idk 🤭 )

[Rehearsal]

lab tester: Anonymous Participant (Hi @snails-doodles22) 🩻

summary: Miguel keeps you grounded as you prepare for a dance competition. 

content warning: age gap (abeg she’s 21+), secret relationship, fluff, like two suggestive?? lowkey explicit scenes so MINORS BEWARE, a few thoughts of frustration/failure but nothing serious just the thoughts of an artist

word count: 1.9k, halfway proofread

a/n: Hi hi!! This one was really a challenge for me!! and Idk if I’ll write DBF again ngl Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it! I leaned more on the age gap aspect of the relationship and pulled from how I felt when practicing for my own recitals/competitions 🤠! (I get extremely snappy and mean lol)

A Grand Adage (as best as I, not a professional ballerina but I practiced for 3 years, can explain) is a slower dance move where you stretch your leg to the front, side, and back without losing your balance. You also have to switch legs…I think. It looks like it takes a LOT of core strength, especially without a partner.

I don’t think I mention it in the story, but I’m imagining this Miguel to have salt and pepper hair, but like, in its early stages. So only a few strands of gray. 

“Damn it.”

The music started to sound more and more jaded as you failed another Grand Adage after powering through the more fast-paced part of your routine. 

You don’t know why you had the bright idea to add the most pain-inducing ballet moves to your contemporary piece, but you were starting to hate yourself for it. It was supposed to represent a crash and burn of rushing perfection which was ironic because you were feeling those emotions tenfold.

“You’re not going to get it if you keep trying to force it like that.” You heard Miguel from across the room and the music finally stopped. “It’s a pause between those last two counts. You know this, chiquita.”

You huffed out a chuckle as you got up, “Knowing and doing are two different things. I know what’s coming, which is why I keep anticipating it and messing it up.”

“The studio is all yours for a few more hours,” Miguel sighed. “Take a breath and try it again.”

“That’s so easy for you to say. You’re not the one busting your ass,” you mumbled as you got back into your starting position. 

Miguel crossed his arms, head leaning on the wall above the barre, “You want to say that again?”

You dropped your arms and stared at him, face blank. 

After a minute or so of you going silent, he unfolded his arms and beckoned you towards him. 

You dragged your feet to get to him, hands hugging yourself. 

“I know you want this to be perfect, but snapping at me isn’t going to help that.” His hands made their way to the back of your thighs, rubbing up and down the tightened muscles. 

“I’m sorry, I just-” you rubbed your eyes with your palms. “The competition is so soon and I keep fucking the routine up.”

“And you’ve also done it perfectly countless other times. You’ve got this! I know you do. I’ve seen how much work you’ve put into dancing and that’s not going to change.”

“But Miguel-”

“But nothing. I’ve seen how you become a new person on the stage. You demand the attention of your audience in a way that your peers can’t. You’re captivating and alluring so I’m not going to sit here and let you think otherwise.”

You look at him with a face that says “I know you’re right, but I don’t want you to be,” and just fall onto his lap, wallowing in his arms while you breathe in his cologne. 

He nuzzled you on the head, hands patting at your ass, hands warm and firm through your tights, “Now can you try again for me?”

“Can I have a kiss?” you say, lips rivaling a rubber duckie. 

He chuckles at you but obliges, heart too soft when it comes to you. 

You get up with new ambition, taking a deep breath as you stride back to the middle of the room. 

“I’m going to count out loud for you this time, is that ok?”

“Yeah,” you reply, arms molding into a sharp form. 

When the music starts this time, you hone in on Miguel’s voice, taking leaps and turns with his timbre. Your heart thumps all the same, but your brain isn’t as loud. 

As the Grand Adage comes again, Miguel’s voice stays calm, never wavering. You tighten your core and lift your leg high, hands framed beautifully and foot pointed sharp as you hold your arms above your head. As you bring your leg back down to begin to turn, your heart almost stops when your body remains stable and strong. You can’t believe it but try to keep the piece's emotion steady. 

You switch legs without trouble, eyes catching Miguel watching your form in the mirror. His face is serious but you can’t hear that in his voice, making you feel fuzzy. You keep up the pace, repeating the same move but gearing up to do an Illusion.

Like a flash, you bring your leg down and bend your body, foot spinning swiftly to perform the trick. Your heartbeat is roaring in your ears as you move through the rest of the routine, mind too excited from your success to completely portray the ending emotions of dance. 

Once you finish, you’re quick to get out of your position, face lit up as you turn to Miguel. When you run to him, you’re screaming with glee. He only stumbles a bit when you jump in his arms, body wrapped around him like a koala. 

“Miguel! Did’ya see it? Oh my god, I can’t believe it,” you laughed as he spun you around.

“I told you you could do it, amor. You just needed to get out of your head.”

“Ok ok, three more times and I think I’ll be ready to leave.”

“Well let’s get busy, chiquita. We’ve got work to do.”

You run through the routine again and again, becoming more confident each time. After every successful routine, Miguel’s praises get more and more loving. First a deep hug, then a few pecks to the lips, then a makeout session that has you squirming for more. 

“Is your dad picking you up today?” he said, lips on your neck.

You turn your nose up at the mention of him, “No, I took the bus.”

“Could have asked me to drop you off.”

“You were at work, Miggy. Didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re never a bother,” he stopped to move his forehead to yours. “You can come over tonight. You need to relax after all of this hard work.”

“And what do I tell my dad when he asks where I am?” your eyes pan from his eyes to his lips, fingers reaching up to go through his hair. 

“Tell him you’re at a girlfriend’s house.”

You twist your mouth to the side, pretending to think.

“How are you planning to relax me?”

“A hot bath.”

You snickered, knowing better than to believe that was all he was planning to do, but taking his word for it. 

Hours later when you were laid on your back, hands gripping the sheets below you and Miguel holding your legs up as he stroked deep inside, your suspicions were confirmed. Your skin was soft from the bath and your muscles were like jelly after he spent an hour massaging every tight muscle out of you. The room was full of him, his smell surrounding you, and the noises of him attending to your every need. With every cry of his name, he brought you closer to the horizon. 

On the day of your competition, you didn’t even look at Miguel before you went on, nerves too bad. If he gave you a pep talk, internally, you would be appreciative, but externally, you might tell him to leave you the fuck alone. 

Knowing how you get, he supported you in the best way he could by sending you messages and a light breakfast in the morning. 

“Break a leg, chiquita”

“Not literally of course”

“I’ll be waiting for you once it’s over”

“With a surprise :)”

It was enough to fill you with anticipation, ready to give it all on the floor.

Once your number was called, you went to the center and got into position. The crowd was dark enough to feel like it was just you in the room, but your heart knew otherwise with how fast it was beating. 

When the music starts, it’s like Miguel’s voice is a soundtrack playing through your memory. You can’t see him, but you can feel him in the crowd cheering you on. Your feet move across the floor, body tightening and relaxing when needed. Your face wears a frustrated expression, portraying the sentiment of everything falling out of control. Your leaps and turns come one after another moving your form across the stage. 

The Grand Adage comes to you like lightning, you don’t even notice you’re doing it until it happens. The muscle memory takes over and you transition to the Illusion like it's nothing. Your mind wanders as you go through to the end of the routine, finishing strongly with your pose on the floor.

The cheers of the audience are what bring you back to reality. A feeling of relief washes over you as you stand and bow, smiling brightly. 

Standing with the other dancers from your category, you don’t expect the judges to call your name for first place, so when they all turn to look at you, you feel like you might have walked out in your underwear by accident. 

It isn’t until you’re handed a bouquet of flowers and a trophy that it dawns on you that your hard work has paid off. The check was no measly amount of money either. 

Looking out to the crowd, you can see Miguel standing up with his hands cupped over his mouth as he yells. Your family is standing next to him cheering as well. You wave at them, jumping up and down in excitement. Only you can see the wink Miguel gives you. 

When you meet them out in the lobby, you have to stop yourself from keeping your attention on Miguel. 

“You did amazing, honey,” your dad says, squeezing the life out of you. “That flip thing? I don’t know how you did it, but wow!”

“It’s called an Illusion,” Miguel shakes his head. “Keep up.”

“What are you, her coach or something?”

“C’mon you guys,” your mom fusses. “Don’t start bickering in the building. At least wait until we get dinner.”

“‘M gonna ride with Miguel,” you say to them. 

Knowing how much you like his car, your parents think nothing of it and walk out to their own car. 

Once they’re out the door, he turns and gives you a deep kiss, “You did such a good job. I’m so proud of you.”

“I just remembered what you said. Kept it in the back of my mind while I performed.”

He smiled and wrapped his hands around your waist, “Yeah?”

You nod and bring his lips to yours again. 

“Where’s my surprise?”

“Always so impatient.”

“You wouldn’t like me any other way.”

“Tienes rázon,” Miguel chuckled. 

Miguel brings a sparkly gift bag to your attention, placing it in your hands. You reach into the bag, tissue paper falling to the floor. You pull out an envelope and a long velvet box. 

You open the box, eyes glittering when you see the necklace inside. 

“Miguel, this is adorable!” 

“Here,” he takes the necklace out of the box. “Let me help you put it on.”

You turn and focus your attention on the envelope, fingers sliding under the sealed flap. 

Your breath halts when you pull the tickets out.

“To Paris?”

You turn to him once your necklace is latched together, eyes teary from happiness.

“You’ve been doing so amazing, I wanted to treat you to an amazing trip.”

“How much did this cost?”

“Nothing that you should worry your head about.”

You crowd his space, kissing his face all over, “Thank you so much, Miguel.”

“Of course. Anything for my girl.”

“I don’t want to go out to dinner now,” you sigh dramatically.

“Yeah? You know we can’t bail, though.”

“Not even if I give my thanks to you in the car?”

Miguel bit the inside of his cheek, watching you grin at him. He’s really way too soft when it comes to you. 

“Vamos.”

As always, like, reblog, and COMMENT. Let me know how you guys feel! 🩵

[silkenedstars]

Just a Tiny Bit Jealous

In which her jealousy ends up with you cuddling her (and her snake).

₊✦Honkai: Star Rail | Jade x Fem!Reader | Really minor spoilers for Penacony! ✦₊

Additional Notes: A one-shot written as a good luck charm for my friend pulling Jade! (She better come home, I didn't farm 61 pulls on my friend's account for nothing.) Up next is a Sunday one-shot! I hope,,

Jade was paying more attention to you than what you were used to lately. That, and you were sure that she was pulling several strings to make sure that you were around her no matter what you did.

Had to continue working during lunch because there was a lot of paperwork to deal with and now you're really hungry? Not to worry, Jade made a reservation to a high end restaurant and she's going to bring you along with her to make sure you don't starve for the rest of the day.

Had to work tirelessly and came this close to catching a certain stellaron hunter — who may or may not have flirted with you — only for her to get away last minute? Well that's too bad, you're not allowed to go after them anymore— look, you got promoted to be Jade's secretary! Isn't that better?

Had to return to Penacony after everything went down because you had an unfinished business, which may or may not be meeting up with a certain memokeeper for a business deal between the Garden of Recollection and the IPC? But you're needed back at Pier Point way more, surely your "business" back at Penacony can wait?

Had to stay at a hotel for a mission but there weren't enough rooms for everyone, leaving you the odd one out? Oh well, not to worry, you can just stay in Jade's room.

And that lead you to now: Lying on a plush mattress with Jade at the other end of the bed. A sly smile laid across her lips, like she knew that you knew exactly what she was doing. Though, you doubted that she'd confess to it if you were to ask her about it.

The cool scales of her snake dragged against your skin as it slowly slithered on top of your body; leaving Jade's side for the comfort of your arms instead. Had you not been familiar with the silly little creature thanks to being close to Jade, then this moment probably would've adopted it as your own.

You let out a sigh, feeling soothed by the cold scales, before gently petting the top of the snake's head; cooing at the way it stuck it's tongue out at you in response. What a cutie.

"My? What's this?" came Jade's gentle yet teasing voice, "You're lying in bed with me, but you're showing more affection to my little friend. I'm jealous."

Oh.

Oh no.

Were you in trouble?

She scooted closer to you, her hands tenderly finding their ways onto your waist before pulling you flush against her chest. She nuzzled her face into your neck, taking in your scent before propping herself up on one elbow to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.

"I should teach you some manners," she spoke softly, her breath fanning your skin, "Don't think I don't know about you fooling around with that stellaron hunter and memokeeper."

You definitely were in trouble.

You looked away briefly, petting her snake more as you thought of a reply. "…Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?" Jade repeated, the smile on her pretty pink lips widening as she leaned down to whisper in your ear, "I very much am, darling."

Her snake slithered away as she hovered over you, her hands taking in your wrists before sliding up your arms then down your torso before they settled on your waist once more. Her nails dug in, lightly, before she shifted your positions so that she was lying on the bed with you on top, your head nestled on top of her chest.

"I wasn't fooling around with them though," you defended yourself weakly.

"I know sweetheart," she replied, delicately caressing your cheek with her hand, "you'd never cheat on me."

"Right? So you don't—"

"Which is why you're forbidden from future missions regarding the stellaron hunters, as well as interactions concerning the Garden of Recollection."

"Huh??"

"Hush, darling," she cooed, bringing your face back up to hers to kiss your cheek, "We have a lot of work to do tomorrow, so it's best for us both to go sleep now."

"Wait, no, what do you mean I'm forbidden from—"

She pecked your lips.

"Goodnight, my dearest."

[justcallmecj]

Seeing Your Dragon Form: Vice's+Ruggie and Floyd

Trey

Trey was a lot more chill about this than you were expecting him to be.

He agreed to come with you with no problem, and when you came out of the mist and he saw you, he looked like this was all normal.

He quickly approached you and stretched his arms towards you. You brought yourself closer to the ground to make it easier for him to reach your head.

Gently, Trey pet your head. Running his hands across you snout and up to your horns.

He always made sure to keep eye contact with you if you were looking at him. Your e/c eyes and his golden colored eyes locked together.

He constantly made small talk with you, asking simple yes or no questions or simply telling you about something random.

Unbeknownst to you, on the inside, Trey was freaking out!

You reminded him a puppy! (Quite a deal larger than an actual puppy, but his view is still valid.)

He's used to keeping some form of a rational, adult face all the time. You, Riddle and Chenya are really the only ones who have seen the childish side that he has.

Because of this, he didn't want to just full on fawn and freak out on you. He also didn't want to risk overwhelming you.

He opted to waiting for you to be human again, where you could speak, to ask any questions he had.

Later that day, when you had turned back into your fae form, he asked. Surprisingly, he had a lot of questions.

"I'm proud of you, Y/N. I'll let you do what you want for right now, but when we get back to the dorm, prepare for questions, alright?"

Ruggie

He was very skeptical when you asked if he wanted to see your dragon form.

He immediately thought that you wanted something out of this (like to eat him).

With plenty of skepticism, he followed you out to your spot in the woods and waited patiently for you to come out of the mist.

Seeing you had him stunned for a solid 2 minutes.

Now, you and Ruggie have been friends for a long time now, and he knows that it's you, but he had a rough childhood.

You were about 4x his size, serrated claws, razor sharp teeth and covered in spikes. Everything about you screamed DANGEROUS.

It was like staring down everything that he taught himself to stay away from.

Then you did something he wasn't expecting.

You sat quietly and gently tilted your head to the side. Your e/c eyes gazed into his with a look he feels is familiar to him.

Then he remembered. Once, when one of his younger brothers had gotten into a fight, he came home looking roughed up and dangerous. But the moment Ruggie came to patch him up and they met eyes, his brother gave him a look that extremely contrasted that roughed up state he was in. His brother was soft and on the verge of crying.

Looking at you, it was the same thing. Ruggie got the same feeling he did back then. You looked scary and dangerous, but he knew that you were still the same softy that he sees everyday.

Finally, he got over his initial feelings and strutted towards you. He ended up right under your head, forcing you to look down at a weird angle to see him. You adjusted yourself and brought your head to his level.

Just as Ruggie had done with his brother, he patted you on the head. It instilled a feeling of contentment in you and your eyes slowly fluttered shut. Soon, a gently hum ran through your throat and hit Ruggie with the vibrations since he was still patting you.

"Wow, that worked a lot better than I thought it would. Y'know, all this nice treatment from me will cost ya, Y/N~"

Jade

You had his curiosity extremely peaked.

He must admit, upon meeting you and learning you were a fae, he thought about what you may look like as a dragon whenever he was with you.

He never said anything, out of courtesy and politeness. But now that you were offering him the chance, he took it with no hesitation and never held his tongue about anything.

You had asked him during on of the very few times Floyd wasn't with him, meaning at was just you two. (You still can't tell if that made things better or worse)

Jade was unaffected by the mist, and the extra amount of cold you radiated.

The first thing he did? Go to your tail. Him being an eel, he has one himself. For some reason, he wanted to find out how different yours was from his. He's never been able to get good looks at the tails of the beastmen at school, so you were his best example.

He poked and prodded at the spike that ran down it. Not that you minded, there was no feeling there and if they were to break, they'd grow back quickly. There was only feeling in your spikes when in fae form.

Soon, he had gathered all the information he needed for the time being. He then sat by your snout, which had been on the ground as you had laid down.

He held a pleasant conversation with you. You couldn't respond, but he didn't care. He spoke of things that really didn't need you input but still kept you entertained, which was his goal.

At times, he unconsciously start petting and stroking you. Running a hand across your hand(?) and claw, soft head pats, gentle rubs behind your ears, things like that. You decided to take a nap due the peaceful sounds of the woods and Jade's calming voice.

"You never cease to stretch my thoughts of you. When I think I have you figured out, you surprise me." He can only hope you can't hear him right now.

Floyd

Unlike with the others, it wasn't you who suggested him seeing your dragon form, it was Floyd.

He had been insistently pestering you about it for weeks now. Both Azul and Jade have tried to get him off your back but he just pops back up and asks again.

Eventually, you gave in.

Upon the disappearance of the mist, he was already on top of you.

Without notice, he poked at your sides, claws and wings. You barely even had enough time to figure out what he was doing before he moved on to investigate somewhere else. He stayed away from your tail though.

You even allowed him to climb onto your back for a while. He didn't stay long though, he found the scales to be too uncomfortable to stay there much longer.

Eventually, he opted to spend some time near your head, so he could spend the rest of the time with you.

For a while, he was surprisingly chill with you, but then mood swings decided to pay a visit.

He got frustrated that you couldn't talk back, or more so at the fact he couldn't understand you. He just really wanted to know what you were saying to him.

You thought of just not saying anything to not further escalate things, but then realized he be even more upset if he felt you were ignoring him.

You've been friends with Floyd for a long time now, and you've gotten pretty good at handling his mood swings. The moment you felt he was getting too frustrated, you took action.

You brought your tail towards him and pushed him over. He fixed himself and caught sight of your face. You may be a dragon right now, but he could tell that you were smiling at him and laughing in your head. He saw what game you were trying to play easily.

You two playfully wrestled with each other for a long time. He would climb around and you'd gently knock him over. Things like that.

"Umitsubame-kun! I knew it be a good idea to do this. We could've been having this much fun sooner if you had just listened to me when I first asked~"

Jamil

Jamil was a lot calmer than his Scarabian counterpart.

He will admit though, he's been curious about what you may look like. Just like Kalim, he doesn't have much experience with dragons, real or fake.

The mist was freezing to him, though, considering where he grew up, that's no surprise.

He didn't quite know how to respond.

You looked awesome! But he didn't know what to do from there. You two just kinda stared at each other for a while, neither moving.

Then you took the lead.

You walked up to him (it only took you like three steps) and raised your hand(?) into the air.

He flinched, thinking you were gonna crush him, but then froze when he felt himself rise into the air.

When he opened his eyes he saw that you had picked him up and held him in your palm.

Luckily he's spent enough time on the flying carpet to not be afraid of heights.

You brought him close to your snout and in a moment of no better ideas, he gently placed a hand on the tip of your nose.

Your scales were freezing cold, and while he expected the air you exhaled to be warm, it was just as cold as your scales, if not colder.

Now he was a lot more comfortable with the situation, meaning he started doing more.

He asked questions, then realized that you couldn't speak. He then decided to change his method and asked yes or no questions. They started as one about your dragon form, then the conversation drifted off into other subjects. School. Food. Dorm life. Other students at school.

He asked if changing forms was tiring to you, in which you gave him a side ways nod. 'Sorta' is what you were telling him.

"How about when we're done here, we go back to Scarabia and I'll make you something to eat and get your energy back up? Take is as a 'thank you' for this experience."

Rook

Actually, this isn't his first time seeing your dragon form.

Since the first day he saw you, you've captured his attention, and triggered his hunting habits.

One day when you were taking a break from NRC life, you snuck away and spent some time as a dragon. Unbeknownst to you, he had been watching you the whole time.

But then you actually asked him if he wanted to see. He told you 'yes' with a strange and knowing excitement.

He was on top of you even before the mist cleared since his sight was enough for him.

This is the first time he's been this close to a creature so much bigger than him.

Throughout the entire experience he was showering you in compliment after compliment. Words of encouragement filled with passion, charisma and said quite fervently.

You wholeheartedly believed that even if he wanted to, Rook would not have been able to take his hands off you. His hands touched where ever they could, your spikes, wings, horns, snout, claws, tail, you name it.

You understood though. You've always known how curious Rook is. How, while it seemed strange and creepy to others, his habits and mannerisms never really bothered you.

Out of no where, he confessed to following you all that time ago.

He could see as emotions flicked across your draconic face for a few seconds. Confusion. Realization. Upset. Thoughtfulness. Then it stilled into one. Amusement.

Your chest rose and fell fast. You were laughing. Rook couldn't help but laugh himself, lowkey glad you weren't upset with him.

"Oh dear Dragon de Glace, your beauty is truly magnifique! I hope you and I will continue to have many moments like these in the future!"

Lilia

He happily took you on you offer.

He's known the Draconia family for years, so you having a dragon form is nothing new to him. Heck, he was there the first time Malleus used his.

Out of everyone, who saw you as intimidating or astounding, he saw you as cute.

Lilia will admit with no remorse, he has a soft spot for dragons. With his experience in helping to raise Malleus, he can't help it.

When you opened your eyes after transforming, you were met with Lilia's large, red, slit-pupil eyes in you face, upside down.

He flipped out and rested his arms in your snout, using them to support his chin.

He then struck up a conversation. He could understand every word you said to him. (Learned with Malleus.)

It was an extremely lovely conversation. But, you did get embarrassed when he would speak to you as if you were a child.

You'll have to excuse him. It's an old and sometimes an unconscious habit he picked up due to Malleus and mostly Silver.

For some reason, he really likes booping your nose. Mid conversation he'll just boop you for no apparent reason. He then proceeds to giggle to himself at your reactions.

Eventually, you got a bit tired. Your body relaxed while listening to Lilia and your eyes fluttered close.

Seeing that you had drifted off to sleep, Lilia got closer and gently moved your head into his lap. It was ridiculous with how much bigger your head was compared to him, but cute non the less.

He gently stoked your snout, making sure you stayed asleep. As you snored away, he remembered when he would do this with Malleus and even Silver when they were babies. It made him smile, a smile you unfortunately couldn't see.

"Just stay asleep Little One. I'll be here when you wake up, and we can continue to have some fun."

[mvrkieboo]

Lord, just saw that ask on what if YN is bitter. And ykw? WHAT IF THEN THERES A LOT OF REGRETS LIKE COME ONNNNNN 😫 I really wanna good ending but damnnnnnnnn that scenario on YN being bitter? UGH LURVE THE ANGSTY 🥲🥲🥲❤️❤️❤️

pt. 2 of this ask right here

You've been missing your classes. For 6 days, exactly.

For the first three days, Prof. Suh nagged Xiaojun endlessly for an explanation for your absence, but at one point, all of your lecturers stopped bothering him about it. Xiaojun began to wonder if the lecturers could finally tell that he was simply not your friend anymore—until Prof. Suh suddenly held him back again today. As always, Yangyang and Aeri tagged along.

The lecturer pulled out a fruit basket, patting on it as he gave the three college students—for some reason—a sympathetic look, it even came across as apologetic too. Was the fruit basket an apology for something?

"Listen, I wanted to visit Y/N today, but some bullshit last minute meeting got scheduled—so can you guys pass this on to her for me? Tell her I'm sorry for the messages I sent too—I didn't know at the time. Thanks, guys."

The three looked among themselves, weirded out. Why would Prof. Suh buy you a fruit basket? When Aeri opened her mouth to ask for further explanation, that's when the professor's phone rang—and he took the call immediately.

When he saw that three students were still hanging around his desk stupidly, he pointed at the fruit basket then to the lecture hall's doors—telling them to get out.

Yangyang took the fruit basket and walked out the hall, wondering why the fuck would Prof. Suh bring a fruit basket for you?

There was a folded card stuck to the basket, and they were too curious to leave it alone. Flipping the note to read the contents, it was Prof. Suh's writing, but they realised that this fruit basket was on the behalf of all of the lecturers of the faculty.

May we see you again on brighter days, Y/N.

– On behalf of all the staff of NCU's Business & Management Faculty

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ever since celebrating Jaehyun signing on to SM Entertainment as a singer together, Mark's friend group and your—well, your old friend group hung out a lot at the place where they held the party, which was at Soyeon's café in Sinchon. Geonwoo's mom liked having them come over too, so they often had a fun time together at the café.

"What's with the fancy fruit basket?" Mark got to beat Haechan to it, since everybody was curious about the fruit basket Yangyang was carrying.

"Well, we're actually hoping that you would know, Mark—has Jaehyun mentioned anything about Y/N recently? Did something happen to her?" Xiaojun smiled hesitantly at Mark, and Yangyang places

Mark leaned away from the table, confused as to why Xiaojun would ask that, especially since your name would sometimes be a taboo topic to approach. Yangyang pointed at the card and Mark opened it to read it, now eyebrows all furrowed.

"May we see you again on brighter days? That sounds pretty serious." Haechan read the writing out loud from over Mark's shoulder.

"Listen, this fruit basket is gonna go bad if we don't immediately send it to her, and the staff's money would go to waste that way. How about this—you pass on Y/N's new address to me, I'll drop it off, and then this whole thing can be settled instantly." Yangyang spoke with a jaded tone, leaning back into his seat.

"I don't know her exact address, but I do know what apartment she moved into." Mark offered, and Yangyang nodded gladly.

"Oh, Mark, that would in fact be better. I could just drop it off at the front desk and tell the person to pass it on to her."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

In the end, Mark offered to accompany Yangyang for the drop off, mainly because everyone could see Yangyang was ticked off that he had to do this, and if he ran into you, Mark being there was to mediate the situation.

One look at the apartment complex and they realised how much of a downgrade it is from your old place. Granted, anything else could be considered a downgrade compared to the luxury condo you used to live in, but your current apartment looked almost run down and shady.

Mark couldn't help but still feel a little bit bitter and envious that you were willing to move into this kind of place if it meant you could live with Junyoung. Did you really love him this much to endure living in a place like this? Mark was a broke college student too, but even he wouldn't settle to live in an apartment like this.

But, in your defense, it only looked run down because the apartment was old, dated, and looked like maintenance is done once a year only. It still had a lobby with a front desk at least, manned by a relatively old dude who looked well into his 60's.

"Excuse me, but could you please pass this on to one of your tenants? We don't know her exact unit, but it might be under the name Jeong Y/N or Lee Junyoung." Mark talked amicably, not wanting to piss off anyone in this apartment.

The older man behind the desk moved to take out a thick binded file on the shelves behind him. It was a long 3 minutes until the man finally got to the page he needed. He raised his eyebrows, looked at Mark and Yangyang, then looked at the page again.

"Kid, the unit you mentioned was a crime scene. The cleaners just arrived to wash away the blood and the mess. The tenant—Lee Junyoung—is already dead. A week ago, he stabbed his girlfriend before killing himself—but I heard the girl survived and is currently recuperating at Taeho Memorial Hospital. It's better if you brought this basket there instead."

Mark and Yangyang went blank and dead silent at the information, felt like the whole world froze for a moment, both of their bodies frozen still—then they took off without thanking the old man, bringing along the fruit basket with them into Yangyang's McLaren. On the way to the apartment's parking lot to reach Yangyang's car, Mark was already dialing Jaehyun's number.

Jaehyun was in the studio, nodding along to a beat he was really liking when his phone rang, flashing Mark's picture on his screen. Mark knew he'd be busy, and Mark always liked to text instead of calling anyway. Suddenly feeling dread and a weird sense of urgency take over him, he quickly excused himself out of the studio to take the call.

"Jae, did you know?" Mark sounded like he had the wind knocked out of him, and Jaehyun frowned at the sudden question.

"Know what?"

"Stop fucking around! If you knew, why wouldn't tell me about it? I mean—you know I still care for her and that I'm still not over her yet, so why the fu—"

"Mark! Bro, calm down. What are you talking about? You're speaking in riddles, man—I don't understand what you're trying to say." Jaehyun walked to the windows, looking down on the city as he heard Mark take deep breaths before speaking again.

That was when Mark realised Jaehyun didn't know. He messed with his hair as Yangyang began to drive the car a lot faster than what he was comfortable with. Did the dude even know the directions to Taeho Memorial Hospital?

"It's Y/N, Jae. Junyoung's dead, he killed himself—but before that, he attacked Y/N and—and she got stabbed. She's currently recovering at Taeho Memorial Hospital. Fuck, this is why her lecturer wanted us to give her a goddamn fruit basket."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You wheeled yourself out of Dr. Kim Sejeong's office. She was a wonderful therapist, and you could tell there was progress in your mental health after you agreed to take up therapy to heal yourself—but it didn't change the fact you had felt pushed to do this the first time you entered her office.

You came to a halt when you saw two men rose from the waiting seats outside Dr. Kim's office. You felt your face going stiff, when you realized Kyungsoo and Taeyong had been waiting for you.

These were the two sneaky assholes who roped Junmyeon into their plan in convincing you to get therapy. You still remembered how hard you cried on Junmyeon's shoulder five days ago.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So you found his body." You spoke out, sounding soulless.

Junmyeon nodded beside his old partner, Kyungsoo. Taeyong was busy getting coffee at West Wing's café. A kid ran past in front of your wheelchair, giggling as it chased a butterfly with her mother just right behind her. The hospital's garden was spacious, but there were still some tricky pebbles she should look out for.

"Yep. Yoonsu hadn't been lying—Junyoung was found at the abandoned plant nursery. They were just about to renovate it when we came with a search warrant—ah, the school's director was so annoying, kept bitching about how he didn't want it to leak to the media. People like them are the reason why I decided to become a cop." Junmyeon sighed deeply, loosening his necktie at the memory.

Kyungsoo smirked at the older man, making a snide comment on how the commissioner shouldn't be so crass in front of a civilian. Junmyeon slapped him at the back of the head—it wasn't like he wanted the position, but it was thrusted upon him. Turning it down would anger a lot of people, and that included his own grandfather who had given a lot of gifts to the old commissioner for Junmyeon to be selected as his successor.

You stayed stone faced as the two bickered, and when they realised you were staying quiet, Jumyeon looked at you then shared a look with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had told him over the phone you might possibly be suffering from a...kind of depression of some sorts after everything Yoonsu made you go through.

You needed someone to push you into the path of proper recovery.

Both men saw Taeyong walking out of the West Wing with a bag in hand, so Junmyeon nodded at Kyungsoo as he fished the inner pockets of his blazer, and Kyungsoo not so discreetly walked away, signalling Taeyong to turn on his heel too.

Junmyeon reached for your hand, forcing your closed fist to open and placed something on your palm. When you pulled your hand away, you saw it was Junyoung's nametag pin. You felt your heart skip a beat as you looked at it, buried memories unearthing themselves inside your mind.

"...you know, I couldn't stand Junyoung the first time I met him. He was more crass than me, arrogant, prideful—and most of all, he was so goddamn selfish. I hated that guy, if I have to be honest with you, Y/N." Junmyeon hunched over, placing his elbows on his knees.

He stared right ahead, watching an older brother carrying his younger brother on his back, probably boasting about how strong he was to be able to carry his little brother. Junmyeon let out a pained smile at the sight.

"But after he met you, that selfishness started to chip away. He was still arrogant and foul-mouthed—and if he was alive, I've no doubt he would still be that way—but he couldn't afford to be so selfish anymore when it came to you."

You felt your eyes water as you closed your fingers around the nametag, then you felt Junmyeon's hands cover yours, as if he was also trying to keep that nametag safe from the world like you were.

"Kyungsoo told me. About all the things you said Yoonsu said to you before he killed himself, how your own friend dismissed you when you asked to speak with your brother one last time—Y/N, you have to know that all those things he said to you will never be true, you're not selfish. You deserve to live a life beyond Yoonsu, Y/N. You deserve to live a life beyond Junyoung too. He didn't die because of you, he died because of Yoonsu's selfishness—not yours." Junmyeon spoke softly, watching you cry without making a sound.

"I know you resent your friends for leaving you, and I know you also feel like blaming yourself for it because you were the one that pushed them away first, but you can't keep wallowing in your pain all by yourself, Y/N. If they had hurt you so badly, they should apologise to you—but how could they realise what they did wrong and apologize if you're not letting them know?" Junmyeon started to wipe away your tears, even as you started to shake your head.

"But I can't seem to let it go. I don't know if I could forgive them even if they apologize to me. I don't think I'm strong enough to do it." You sobbed out, feeling so ashamed of yourself.

Junmyeon tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear before he placed a hand on the back of your head. This was the same head that his late step cousin loved so much, the same head that Junyoung sacrificed his selfishness for.

"Then get help. Get therapy, receive some counseling. Me and Kyungsoo are scared that if you continue to be like this, you might..." He trailed off, and he didn't have to finish it for you to understand what he was trying to say.

"Please? For Junyoung, at least? He loved you so much, kid. He deserves to see you live a life beyond all this pain, all this suffering...and you owe it to yourself too. Living in misery would just let Yoonsu win in the end. Don't let that asshole win, Y/N."

He saw how your shoulders slumped. You relented, and you started to nod. His hand on the back of your head stretched around your shoulders, letting you cry on his. Finally, Junmyeon felt like his debt with Junyoung was now paid tenfold. At last he got to find where Junyoung was after all these years, and the girl Junyoung loved so much was finally saved from Yoonsu's hold on her.

At last.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Detectives, if my memory serves me well, you belong to Gangnam's Police Force, not Seoul's." You grumbled, not having the strength to fight off Taeyong who was pushing your wheelchair for you.

"And that makes it illegal for us to visit you?" Kyungsoo scoffed from beside you, making you roll his eyes.

You began to tap your foot on the footpad. Kyungsoo caught it, and smirked when he realised he was annoying you. Great, he thought, it's payback for all the times you greatly annoyed him three years ago. It's even more fun when you can't find it in you to whip out snarky comebacks to use against him

"How was therapy? Can me and Taeyong finally go inform your family now? Or are you gonna stall our work for another week?" Kyungsoo side eyed you, and you whipped your head to look at him.

Taeyong cracked a smile, finding it both humorous and heartwarming to see you both bickering. You had been so despondent during the first days, it had him and Kyungsoo relieved to see you having a personality again, even if you were constantly grumpy every time they came and visited you.

"I told you already, Detective Do, I'll tell you when I'm ready. Stop trying to push me to—"

"Y/N?" The familiar voice had you silent in a heartbeat.

Kyungsoo and Taeyong stopped in their tracks, and you included since you were getting wheeled by Taeyong. All three of you stayed frozen at the doorway, seeing so many people in your private room that weren't your doctor and her usual entourage of medical students and nurses (Junmyeon pulled some strings to get you a private room once you were transferred out of the ICU ward. Sometimes you forget Junmyeon also came from a rich family like Yangyang and Chenle).

Inside your room were your remaining family members (Yuno, your father), your foster family (Geonwoo, Woojin, Soyeon), Mark, and your classmates (Xiao, Yangs, Aeri). They felt their breaths stop when they saw you sitting limply on your wheelchair, deep purple bruises all over your face.

You dug your nails into your lap and began to stand up from your wheelchair, alarming Kyungsoo and Taeyong who knew that you were supposed to change your stitches today. Everyone else in the room began to go after you too, seeing how the two men with you were panicking to see you walking by yourself.

You felt like Kyungsoo and Taeyong had betrayed you. You had immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was the detectives that called them over, even when they knew you weren't ready to face them again.

"Kid—" Kyungsoo yelled out, placing a hand on your shoulder when you were already out in the hallway, but you pulled your shoulder away from him so violently it had him going pale, worried that you might tear open your stitches.

And when Taeyong glanced down to the spot where you had been stabbed, he staggered when he saw blood seeping through the shirt the hospital had given you to wear.

"Y/N, stop!" Kyungsoo yelled out again, rushing over to stand in front of you.

The commotion caused everyone in the hallway to stop and witness the scene. Some nurses began to crowd you however, as some of them were already familiar with you and your injury, not wanting you to run and escape when your stitches were obviously ripping. Taeyong held your shoulders from behind while Kyungsoo closed in, forcing you into a bear hug to limit your movements.

You raised your arms and started to pound on his chest, tears streaming down your face at the pain of your stitches ripping open and at the betrayal you felt. The bear hug forced you to your knees, with Kyungsoo whispering something into your ears to calm you down.

"It wasn't us, kid. We didn't inform them. We don't know how they got here, okay? We wouldn't betray you like that. We didn't call them over, Y/N." He spoke softly, and quickly swept you up to carry you in his arms and into your room to lie you down on your bed.

As soon as he lied you down, your doctor came in with her team, immediately pushing everyone out of the room and closing the door in front of them.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Who are you people? How do you know my sister?" Yuno asked stiffly, obviously still frazzled from the commotion you caused earlier.

Taeyong and Kyungsoo stared at the people before them. Just right as Kyungsoo was about to tell them who they were, a voice down the hallway rang through, gathering everyone's attention.

"Detectives!" Dr. Kim, your therapist, appeared.

She staggered back a little when she saw national darling and viral sensation Jeong Jaehyun in front of her. Sejeong tilted her head at him then looked at the detectives for a proper explanation. She just heard that you made a commotion earlier and tore open your stitches.

"I'm sorry, but who are these people?" Sejeong asked sincerely, seeing that all of them were waiting in front of your door.

"Dr. Kim, meet Jeong Y/N's friends and family." Taeyong spoke tiredly, pinching at his temple.

Sejeong balked.

"No! Y/N wasn't ready to see them again, detectives, so how could you! Didn't you promise that you'd only reach them out and inform them once they're ready?" She nearly shrieked, now upset on your behalf.

Kyungsoo and Taeyong looked at your friends and family—well, former friends and family. Both detectives understood that they shouldn't let personal bias cloud their judgement on people (it's literally their job to be that way), but they couldn't help it when all they could see at the moment was Y/N's sole source of pain, now that Yoonsu's dead.

"That's the problem—we didn't inform them. We were wheeling Y/N back to her room so we could spend some time with her and see how she's doing, but when we got to her room, they were already there inside it. It's why she freaked out and tore open her stitches." Taeyong explained thoroughly, looking straight into Yuno's eyes.

"You didn't answer our question earlier, asshole—who the fuck are you, and how do you know Y/N?" Yangyang spoke out this time, stepping out of the group and coming face to face with both of the detectives.

"Okay, time out! Detectives, please take these people to the canteen downstairs to give them the rundown of it. You can't keep crowding the hallway like this, and it's also within Y/N's best interest that you don't overwhelm her once the doctor's done with fixing up her stitches." Sejeong did a karate chop in the air between your friends and family and the detectives.

"Why should we follow your orders?" Mark asked genuinely, and Sejeong sighed at him as she showed them her badges.

"I'm a psychologist working for this hospital, and I also happen to be Y/N's therapist. Please, I beg of you for the sake of my patient, go to the canteen with the detectives. I can't breach patient confidentiality, but these detectives are obligated by the law to explain to Y/N's family on what happened to her."

A/N : might post a pt. 3, but i also might not 🫨

[heartshapedgreen]

really hate how 'avoid therapy speak' writing advice is to write your characters not able to convey their emotions period, instead of y'know... making them convey them less clinically (which is what i think 'therapy speak' is supposed to mean?) and more in line with your character's view of life.

like if your character is someone who is very self-aware, or someone who ruminates a lot (hello ocd), they're gonna have A Lot to say when asked about their feelings. maybe it's unreliable. maybe it's diverting from the real issue. maybe they're lying. even untruthful/'wrong' answers can reveal so much about a cynical mindset or that they hate their self or that they've been gaslit so much their entire conclusion is wrong, and it's a "oh..." moment for everybody.

i even have a character who actually would say 'umm... not good, i guess? i have no idea' to being asked 'so how does this make you feel?' but that's cause. they literally have alexithymia. or, i guess if that could be an appropriate reaction for a character who is overly guarded & has trust issues. i also wonder if displeasure at 'therapy speak' has to do with the fact most of us probably don't have many people who ask us about our feelings, and conversations like these feel sappy and uncomfortable and like fanciful imaginings of unrestrained trust that won't be betrayed, because often IRL trust like this goes betrayed. most 'therapy speak' advice comes across as really jaded, and i'm saying this as someone who has trust issues lol. also, considering that alexithymia is actually very common, i wonder if that plays a role in how weird these conversation seem to readers who have it. (i'm actually curious about this.)

[overrboarrd]

sanctuary [3]: kick off

firefighter!roman reigns x azure clarke [oc]

warnings: brief mention of spousal loss, light drinking, lots of football

word count: 5.5k

a/n: hello my beautiful peoplee <3 sorry this update kept getting pushed back, i've been annoyingly busy these past couple weeks. this chapter is a chill one, but i really hope y'all like it! the next update may be delayed a couple days cause my birthday is next weekend and i'll be outsideee 🤪 but yeah, i appreciate y'all always! thanks for reading <3

Azure stood at the kitchen counter, pulling a few dishes from the small box she had finally decided to unpack. It wasn’t much—just some mugs and plates—but it felt like progress. The morning sunlight streamed in through the window, casting a warm glow over the bare kitchen. She leaned against the counter, staring at the mess of cardboard and packing paper, absentmindedly turning over a mug in her hand.

She pulled out a few plates, stacking them on the counter, then paused when her phone rang. With a soft smile, she picked up the phone and answered, cradling it between her ear and shoulder. “Hey, Jade.”

“Hey girl! You settled in yet or still living out of boxes?” Jade teased, her voice bringing a bit of comfort to Azure’s morning.

“Definitely still in the 'living out of boxes' phase,” Azure laughed lightly. “I’m unpacking the kitchen right now, but it’s dragging.”

“Ugh, I hate unpacking,” Jade groaned. “But you doing okay? I’m sorry I didn't call sooner, my father in law’s birthday was this past weekend, and you know how Reggie is when it comes to going to his parents’ house.” 

A soft smile spread across Azure’s face, “It’s okay sis.” Her teeth captured her bottom lip in contemplation. “I’ve actually met a few people,” Azure admitted, trying to sound casual, but she knew Jade would pick up on any hesitation in her voice.

“Oh? Do tell.”

“Just some neighbors. They helped me move some boxes.”

“That’s good!”

 “Yeah, they’re... really nice. Two guys, twins, Jimmy and Jey. Invited me to a cookout later on today.” 

“Wait, twins? And they already invited you to a cookout?” Jade teased, a playful edge to her tone. “That sounds promising.”

“It’s not like that,” Azure laughed. “They’re really nice but definitely married. And then… there’s their cousin,” she hesitated. “Roman.”

“Okay…” Jade’s voice trailed. Azure swore she could hear a hint of a smile as Jade continued. “Tell me more about this Roman guy.”

“We talked a little. He welcomed me to the neighborhood, but I think I might’ve rambled. I was telling him about my day at work, how Dr. Rollins pulled me aside because I was running late.”

Jade hummed thoughtfully. “And?”

“And, well… I don’t know. Roman just seemed kind of tense when I mentioned Dr. Rollins. I might’ve made things awkward.”

“Girl, you did not make it awkward. You were just trying to spark up a conversation, right? You haven’t talked to new people in a while… it’s going to feel a little weird. But that doesn’t mean it was bad.” Jade’s voice softened, offering the kind of encouragement Azure needed. “Maybe he’s just one of those quiet shy guys, you know?”

“Maybe,” Azure said, biting her lip. “It’s just—I don’t know. It felt like I was rambling, and he didn’t say much.”

“Azure, stop,” Jade said firmly. “You’re doing great. You’re starting to meet people, and that’s good. Just because it wasn’t a perfect conversation doesn’t mean you blew it.”

Azure sighed, knowing Jade was right but still feeling that small nagging doubt. “Yeah, I guess.”

“And what’s this about the cookout?” Jade’s tone shifted, playful again. “Are you going?”

“I don’t know if I should. Jey and Jimmy invited me, but I feel like it might be too soon, like I don’t really know anyone well enough to go.”

“That’s exactly why you should go! You’re invited, Azure, and it’s a cookout. You’ll meet more people, and it’ll give you a chance to see Roman again. Maybe even smooth out any awkwardness from yesterday. Come on, you gotta go.”

Azure leaned against the counter, cracking a few of her knuckles. “I don’t know…”

“No ma’am. No excuses. You’re going. Next time you see the twins, tell them you’re coming,” Jade insisted.

After a long pause, Azure sighed with a small smile. “If I see them, I’ll let them know I might be there.”

“I guess that’s better than nothing. You’ll have a good time, I promise.” Azure heard Jade exhale a deep breath before she continued. “Azure...” Jade’s voice softened, “I know it’s scary. You’ve been through so much, and it makes sense that you’d want to protect yourself. But you can’t close yourself off forever. You deserve happiness, too. And maybe that happiness is waiting for you in this new place, with these new people.”

Azure’s eyes stung with tears. She hadn’t realized how much she needed to hear that. “It’s just... hard. Every time I think I’m ready to start over, it feels like…” A lump starts to form in her throat. “Like I’ll forget about him.”

“You’re not going to forget about Derrick,” Jade said firmly. “You’re honoring him by finding a way to live again.”

Azure swallowed, her emotions swirling. “Thank you for that sis.”

“Of course girl,” Jade said, her voice lightening. “And remember, I’m always here if you need to talk, okay?”

“Thanks, Jade. I really appreciate it.”

After they hung up, Azure looked at the small kitchen box she hadn’t quite finished unpacking. Jade was right; she needed to put herself out there, even if it felt strange and unfamiliar. Jade’s words echoed in her mind, but the fear remained. She had come here to start over, but every step toward something new felt like she was leaving pieces of herself behind. She wanted to blend into the newness of this place, to feel the laughter, the warmth, the life around her. But what if it hurt too much? 

What if joy felt like a betrayal? 

Could she really open herself up again?

The thought of Roman tugged at her, though she quickly brushed it aside. 

Azure strolled out to the front porch. With a sigh, she pocketed her phone and made her way to the car; the gentle warmth of the Pensacola morning wrapping around her like a light blanket. The street was quiet, a slight breeze rustling the trees overhead as she unlocked the car and leaned in to retrieve a bag of things she had left the day before.

As she pulled the bag out, she heard the familiar rumble of a car engine from across the street. Glancing up, she noticed Jimmy pulling into the driveway at Roman’s house. He hopped out first, his usual energetic self, followed by a woman she recognized but had never formally met. Jimmy’s wife, she assumed, was stunning, her dark hair framing her face perfectly as she moved with an easy confidence.

Jimmy noticed Azure first. He waved enthusiastically before leaning over to say something to his wife, who looked in Azure’s direction and smiled. 

“Aye, Azure!” Jimmy called out, his voice warm and friendly as always.

Azure froze, caught in his enthusiasm. She smiled politely and gave a small wave. “Hey, Jimmy.”

Without missing a beat, Jimmy nudged the woman, and the two of them started walking across the street toward her. “Thought we’d come say wassup before we head inside,” he flashed her a grin.

“Hey, I’m Naomi. We haven’t officially met, but I’ve seen you around.” Naomi smiled brightly, her energy as vibrant as her husband’s. Azure nodded, feeling a bit of the tension ease as she introduced herself. “Yeah, I’ve seen you, too. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Naomi’s eyes sparkled, and she gave a quick glance toward Roman’s house. “We’re getting ready for the cookout at Jey’s, and Jimmy mentioned you might be coming?”

Azure shifted her weight slightly, unsure how to respond. “Yeah...I was thinking about it.”

Jimmy chuckled, nudging Naomi with his elbow. “What’d I tell you? She’s still on the fence.”

Naomi swatted his arm, turning her attention back to Azure. “You should come. It’s gonna be fun—nothing too big or formal. And Jey always makes sure everyone feels welcome.”

Azure bit her lip, feeling a mix of nervousness and uncertainty. “I appreciate the invite. I guess I just feel... out of place since I don’t really know anyone yet.”

“You won’t be out of place at all.” Jimmy chimed in again, his tone playful but sincere. “We all family. Besides, if you ever need someone to talk to, you got us.”

Naomi seemed to sense her internal debate. “Hey, no pressure. If you decide to come, we’d be happy to see you. If not, there’s always the next one.”

Azure glanced down at the bag in her hands, weighing her options. She didn’t want to keep feeling like she was isolating herself, not after Jade had basically given her an entire pep talk over the phone.Yes, it was just a cookout, just an afternoon with her neighbors. But it was more than that. It was a choice, a small crack in the armor she’d built around herself, a chance to remember how to belong again. Finally, she took a breath and looked back up at Naomi and Jimmy. “You know what, I’ll come. I could use some fun.”

“Great!” Naomi’s face lit up. “You won’t regret it, I promise.”

“Yeah, we’ll have a good time,” Jimmy added with a wink. “Glad you’re coming.”

Azure felt a weight lift off her shoulders. It wasn’t much, but agreeing to the cookout felt like a step forward. “Thanks y’all, I’m looking forward to it.”

“Here, give me your number.” Naomi said, pulling out her phone. “That way, if you need anything or want to come over early, you can text me.”

Azure quickly rattled off her number, feeling more at ease while Naomi typed it in and smiled.

“Alright, we’ll let you get back to it,” Jimmy said, giving her a quick wave before heading back to Roman’s with Naomi.

“See you later!” Naomi called over her shoulder with a friendly smile.

Azure watched them go, feeling lighter as she stood by her car, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Roman stood in the doorway of Audrey’s room, watching her small figure nestled under the covers. The soft rise and fall of her breathing filled the quiet space. A faint smile tugged at his lips as he leaned against the doorframe, taking in the sight of his daughter. She always slept so peacefully, a contrast to the whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities that often swirled around them.

He took another sip of coffee from his mug, savoring the warmth. His mind drifted back to his conversation with Azure the night before. She’d been so open, talking about her day at work and how Seth had checked in on her. Her words replayed in his mind: “He pulled me into his office just to make sure I was adjusting okay.”

A familiar tension crept into his chest, his grip tightening around the mug. Rollins. Even just hearing his name brought up old resentments, ones he hadn’t realized were still buried so close to the surface. But this wasn’t Azure’s fault; she didn’t know the history, and she definitely didn’t need to bear the weight of it.

The sound of soft footsteps broke his thoughts, and Roman looked down just as Audrey appeared at the doorway, rubbing her eyes.

“Mornin’, angel,” he murmured, setting his mug down on the side table. He scooped her into his arms, her tiny body warm and heavy with sleep, her head nestled against his shoulder.

“Morning, daddy,” she mumbled, still half-asleep.

He ran a gentle hand over her back. “Did you sleep okay?”

She nodded, her cheek pressed against his shirt. “I dreamed about Uncle Jey’s dog. He was chasing Kitty around the house.” A little giggle escaped her, and the sound brought a lightness to his chest he didn’t realize he’d needed.

“Oh yeah?” Roman chuckled, hugging her tighter. “You think Kitty’s ready for the cookout today?”

Audrey perked up, her eyes brightening as she pulled back to look at him. “Are we going to Uncle Jey’s?”

“Mhm. Uncle Jim and Auntie Naomi are comin’ over soon to grab some stuff for the party. You’ll get to see everyone.”

Audrey wriggled out of his arms, a new energy lighting her face as she ran back into her room, ready to find the perfect outfit for the big day.

A smile still lingered on his lips as he made his way downstairs, only to hear a knock at the back door. He set down his coffee as Jimmy strolled in, his familiar grin lighting up the kitchen, Naomi right behind him.

“Morning big uce!” Jimmy called, already heading toward the fridge. 

“Morning, Roman,” Naomi added warmly, giving him a quick hug before playfully swatting Jimmy’s hand away from the orange juice.

Jimmy leaned on the island, his grin unfazed. “Thought we’d swing by early, help you grab the cooler and some extra chairs for later.”

Roman nodded toward the garage door. “Should have everything in there, but let me know if you need an extra set of hands.”

“I’ll handle it,” Jimmy said, sauntering toward the garage.

Naomi took a seat on one of the barstools, resting her elbows on the counter as she looked at him with a curious smile. “You ready for today?”

“After all this work I’ve been doin’, I definitely need a break.” he admitted, but his thoughts wandered back to Azure, and the tug of their conversation lingered in his chest.

Naomi’s eyes sparkled knowingly. “Oh, by the way, Azure’s coming to the cookout.”

Roman looked up, surprised. “She is?”

Naomi’s grin grew wider, clearly enjoying his reaction. “Yep. She was hesitant, but I convinced her. Got her number and everything.”

He exhaled, trying to act indifferent, but his gaze softened. He hadn’t meant to come across as distant last night; he was just... caught off guard. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable.

Naomi must’ve noticed his thoughtful silence because she placed a comforting hand on his arm. “Want me to help Audrey get ready?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” Roman said, the slight edge in his voice fading away. “She’ll be excited to see you.”

As Naomi left, Jimmy returned with the cooler and a few chairs. He noticed Roman’s thoughtful expression and raised an eyebrow. “I was gone for two seconds, uce. What got you lookin’ like that?”

Roman shook his head. “Talked to Azure last night. She mentioned Seth.”

“Rollins?” Jimmy’s face shifted, his casual demeanor replaced with a more serious look.

“Yeah,” Roman murmured, the bitterness creeping back. “Can’t believe he’s still tryna charm his way around. She doesn’t know, though. She doesn’t know what went down with him… with the chief.”

Jimmy rubbed his chin, his gaze sharp. “You still holdin’ onto that?”

Roman didn’t answer immediately, instead staring at the floor. His muscles tightened with a memory he wished he could bury deeper. "It’s hard not to hold onto it," he said quietly. "You know what almost happened. That mess with the chief… my career was on the line. All because of him."

“Yeah, I remember.” Jimmy grimaced, the weight of the past hanging in the air. “But come on, that was years ago. You made it through. Hell, you got promoted after all that.”

“I know, but it wasn’t easy.”  Roman shook his head. “I had to work twice as hard to get back in their good graces. The way Rollins played it, he could’ve ruined me. I can’t  just forget that.”

Jimmy crossed his arms, leaning back against the counter. “Look, I get it. Seth fucked you over, no doubt. But that’s his problem now, uce. You moved on, and you been solid ever since. He don’t get to mess with your head every time his name comes up.”

Roman met his cousin’s gaze, his grip on the mug loosening. “It’s just… hearin’ her talk about him like that— like he’s some kind of good guy? I can’t stand it.

Jimmy grinned, a playful glint in his eyes. “You’re protective of her already, huh?”

“Not like that.” Roman’s voice was defensive, though he felt a flicker of something he couldn’t name. “She’s new. Tryna be neighborly, s’all.”

“Sure, uce.” Jimmy clapped a hand on his shoulder, bringing Roman back to the moment. “Just remember, today’s about family. Rollins can’t mess with that.”

A soft sigh fell from Roman’s lips, finally feeling a bit of the tension drain away. He nodded, letting Jimmy’s words settle over him.

As Jimmy took the cooler outside, Roman took a long breath, listening to the house come alive around him—the sound of Audrey’s voice drifting down the stairs, Naomi’s laughter mixing with it, and the faint hum of the van outside. Today was supposed to be about family, about finding peace in their little corner of the world.

But as the day unfolded, he couldn’t shake the feeling that seeing Azure again would bring more than he was prepared for.

The late afternoon sun bathed Jey’s backyard in a warm, golden light as the cookout got underway. Azure felt the humid warmth settle on her skin as the smoky, savory aroma of grilled ribs and burgers filled her senses. The laughter and familiar scent made the yard feel like a haven she hadn’t realized she needed. Picnic tables were scattered around, some with folding chairs and coolers brimming with drinks nearby. The end-of-summer air mixed with the distant sounds of football from the TV inside, made for the perfect backdrop to the Saturday afternoon. Kids ran across the grass, their voices blending into the hum of the adults chatting around them.

Azure arrived a little after two o'clock, gripping the strap of the small bag that hung over her shoulder. Her steps were careful as she approached the yard.  Her eyes scanned the familiar faces of Jimmy and Jey, who were already loud and welcoming, laughing as they teased each other near the grill. Watching Jimmy and Jey bicker lightheartedly made her smile, but a small pang of loneliness crept in, a reminder of the family gatherings she missed back home.

 Roman, she noticed, was there too. He leaned against the wooden fence a bit further back, but still near his cousins with a beer in his hand. As soon as Roman caught sight of her, he offered a small, friendly smile. It was a polite acknowledgment—nothing more, nothing less—but enough to make her stomach flip. She smiled back, feeling his eyes linger on her for a moment longer than needed, but he didn’t approach.  She quickly moved to Naomi, who was arranging plates and utensils on the table. 

“Hey, girl!” Naomi greeted her warmly, her bright smile infectious. “You made it! Jey was starting to think we’d have to send Jimmy over to drag you out the house.”

Azure laughed, feeling some of the tension melt away. “Ixnay the wellness check y’all, I‘m here in the flesh.”

“There you go!” Jey happily chimed in from the grill, flipping a row of burgers with exaggerated precision. “Stick around—it's gon’ be a great time.”

Jimmy sidled up beside the women, grinning ear to ear. “And don’t forget the game! It’s the best part of the cookout. You watch football?”

“Here he goes.” Naomi shook her head smiling while she finished setting up.

Azure smiled sheepishly. “I might be a little into it. I usually watch a lot of the games with my dad.”

“Aye, that's what we like to hear!” Jey exclaimed, transferring some of the food off of the grill and into an aluminum pan. “We take football very seriously ‘round here.”

Naomi rolled her eyes, though the fondness in her voice was undeniable. “That’s one way to put it. These two are like little kids whenever football's on.”

As they continued to talk, Azure felt a little more at ease. She enjoyed the lighthearted banter between the twins and Naomi, appreciating how they welcomed her. Naomi, especially, seemed attuned to Azure’s hesitance and kept things easygoing.

Roman, who had been watching them from a few feet away, finally stepped forward, offering a drink. “Hey, Azure,” he said quietly, though his voice carried easily over the noise. “Glad you could make it.”

Azure looked up, meeting his gaze. “I almost didn’t.” She admitted, accepting the drink with a gentle smile. “Y’know, your family is very persuasive. But this,” she gestured to the yard, “It’s nice.”

“They are.” He gave a firm nod in agreement, though his tone remained soft. “And I get that. Sometimes, meetings’ new people feels… complicated.” His words carried a weight she understood, a vulnerability that was subtle but genuine.

“Yeah,” Azure replied, pausing as she gathered her thoughts. “Especially when the past tends to follow you wherever you go.

Roman’s eyebrows rose just a bit. “Yeah, exactly.” There was a moment of silence between them, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Instead, it felt like an unspoken understanding, a quiet space where words weren’t needed.

“So, yesterday-”

“Man what kind of play was THAT?!” The sound of Jimmy shouting at the TV drifted over from the back door of the house, interrupting Roman.

 Azure chuckled nervously, nodding in the direction of the commotion.

“They weren’t playing when they said they took football pretty seriously, huh?”

Roman let out a small laugh, glancing toward the house. “Oh yeah, it’s basically a family requirement. You’re either all-in or on the sidelines, and there’s no in-between. But-” 

“I think I’m gonna head inside, the game sounds like it’s getting pretty good.” Azure gently tapped her fingers against the glass bottle of her beer, cutting Roman off.

“Right,” he replied, her heart racing slightly as she stepped away from him, grateful for the excuse to avoid the conversation. I’ll see you in there?” 

“Yeah, definitely,” Roman cleared his throat, watching her with an intensity that made her pulse quicken.

•────────────────•

Inside the house, the game was in full swing, and Azure eventually found herself in the living room, drawn to the TV. She smiled as she watched the players race down the field, her heart speeding up with the game’s intensity. 

A little girl soon wandered over to her, eyes wide with curiosity as she plopped down beside Azure on the couch. "Are you watching the game too?" The girl asked, her voice small but full of interest.

Azure looked up, recognizing her immediately. Roman’s daughter. "I sure am.” Azure grinned. “Do you like football?"

Audrey nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Jey always watch. Daddy watches sometimes too."

She hadn’t even noticed the little girl mimicking her movements, sitting cross-legged on the couch and watching the game with the same focused expression. It was hard not to smile at the sight.

"I bet your uncles get really into it, huh? They’re over there shouting louder than the TV." Azure smiled, her eyes flicking towards the open back door where the twins were already deep in a loud debate over a recent play. 

Audrey giggled, her eyes lighting up. “They do! Uncle Jimmy says the refs are ‘blind as bats,’ but I don’t know what that means. And Uncle Jey is always yelling.” Azure laughed as Audrey went on about her time with her uncles, with a mix of childlike intensity and joy.

Azure noticed Roman from the corner of her eye, catching his gaze for a brief second before looking away. Her heart raced, the conversation from the previous evening still lingered between them, but the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass herself even more.

“Aye, uce! You just gonna stand there and look moody all afternoon, or you gonna go inside with everybody?” Jey yelled across the yard.

“See.” Audrey added, causing Azure to to suppress a laugh.

Roman chuckled, shaking his head as he made his way over to the group. As he settled onto the arm of the couch next to Audrey, he glanced at Azure, the playful spark in her eyes meeting his own. 

“Think you’re stealin’ our cheerleader here.”

Azure raised an eyebrow. “Maybe she just knows a good team when she sees one.” She glanced down at Audrey, who giggled and nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Roman said with mock offense. “Guess I’m just the backup then?”

“Looks like it,” Azure shot back, a glimmer of humor in her eyes. She relaxed against the couch, her hands resting on her lap as she kept a slight distance.

“Careful, Roman. You might lose your spot for good if she keeps this up,” Jimmy teased, settling in his own seat as he glanced at the game on the TV.

“I don’t know, uce.” Roman rested his arm on the back of the couch. “I think I can handle the competition.”

•────────────────•

Throughout the afternoon, Azure caught him watching her more often than she expected. Their eyes would meet and there he’d be—his gaze lingering on her, studying her. It’s just curiosity. She told herself. Just the same polite interest people held when meeting someone new, yet there was an intensity to it she couldn’t ignore.

As the sun began to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the yard, the cookout started to wind down, with people moving inside to clean up or grab their last plates of food. Azure decided to stay behind in the kitchen to help clean up some of the dishes. She saw Roman out in the yard, gathering up plates and empty cans, her eyes following him as he stepped through the sliding glass door and joined her at the counter. The sound of clinking dishes filled the silence between them for a few moments before Roman spoke.

"Thanks for helpin’ out," he said, his voice low but sincere.

 "No problem. It’s the least I could do." Azure looked up, setting a plate back down in the sink.

“You mentioned Seth Rollins yesterday," he started, his jaw tightening slightly at the name.

“I didn’t mean to bring up anything uncomfortable...”

“It’s fine,” Roman paused, drumming his fingertips on the marble counter before continuing. “Let’s just say we had some...disagreements in the past.”

Azure’s gaze softened as she watched him, noting the tension that crept into his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much,” she said gently, sensing the weight behind his words.

“It’s not that,” He stared down at the plate in his hand, his voice measured. “I just don’t want you gettin’ blindsided by him if he decides to get involved in anything…beyond work.”

She furrowed her brows, curiosity blending with concern. “Involved how?”

Roman lowered his voice before leaning against the counter, facing her. “Seth’s got a habit of getting close to people, making them trust him, and then…things go south fast if he doesn’t get his way.” His gaze flickered to hers, a shadow passing through his eyes before he glanced down.

“Sounds…complicated,” Azure chose her words with caution. She could sense this was something he didn’t open up about easily.

He shrugged, though a glimpse of hurt still lingered in his eyes. “Just be careful. I’m pretty sure you can handle yourself, but he’s… persuasive. And I wouldn’t want you caught up in his web.”

She nodded slowly.

Their eyes met, and for a moment, the room felt smaller, the noise from outside fading into the background. Roman’s gaze softened as he looked at her, a hint of something unreadable in his expression. “Just… watch out for yourself, alright?”

Azure’s voice softened in response. “I will.”

The intensity in Roman’s his expression faded to something warmer. “I have to admit,” he said, crossing his arms casually, “I didn’t expect you to be such a football fan. You might even give Jimmy and Jey a run for their money.”

Azure laughed, a sound that seemed to light up her whole face. “I don’t know about that. Those two are intense,” she replied, glancing toward the yard where the twins were laughing loudly and nudging each other as they sat at one of the tables, sipping their beers. “I just grew up around it, so it sort of stuck.��

“Oh yeah?” Roman raised an eyebrow, looking intrigued. “Your family must be football people then?”

“That’s definitely an understatement,” Azure nodded. “Every Sunday was a huge thing growing up. My dad’s a big fan of it, and I’d just sit there with him, getting into the game and the whole atmosphere.” Her eyes softened a little, lost in thought. “I guess it just… reminds me of home.”

Roman watched her carefully, noting the brief flicker of nostalgia in her eyes. “Well, you came across the right people,” he said, gesturing to the yard. “Between the twins and Audrey, they’re all in serious need of someone who actually knows what’s happening on the field. I swear Audrey’s been pickin’ up their bad habits.”

Azure chuckled, shaking her head. “She’s already got a bit of Jey’s attitude in her cheer, I can tell.”

He glanced back at the living room where Audrey was napping. "So you’ve converted my little girl to your team, huh?" he teased, still leaning casually against the counter.

Azure raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips. “I can’t help it if Audrey has good taste. Besides, she was all in after a few plays.”

“I noticed.”  A bit of pride evident in his smile. “But I can't help but feel a little jealous that you stole her away from me today."

Azure placed a hand on her chest, playfully taking offense. “I would never! Maybe you should join us and see what it’s like to be on the winning side for once.”

Roman raised his hands in defense, playing along. “Oh, it’s like that, huh? Careful, you might just end up recruitin’ me to your team.”

Azure’s smirk softened, her eyes holding his for a second longer than she’d intended. She liked this playful side of him, a glimpse into something that felt less guarded. “Not sure you’re up for the challenge,” she shot back.

Roman chuckled, his usually stoic demeanor breaking with the smallest of smiles. “Tell you what,” he said, reaching into his pocket for his phone, “maybe next game day, you can give me some pointers. Since you’re so sure I’d lose.”

Her eyes widened slightly, the offer surprising her. She paused, then nodded, taking her phone out too. “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said, her fingers hovering over her screen. “And if Audrey sticks to my team, you’ll know why.”

Handing his phone to her, Roman watched as she keyed in her number, a spark of warmth flickering between them. When she handed it back, he gave her a small nod, glancing down at the new contact saved on his screen. “Guess I’ll just have to work twice as hard to win her back,” he said, his voice low, but his smile hinted at a more personal admission.

 Azure gave him a playful side-eye, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

•────────────────•

Dear Brother I know I said I’d write to you sooner, but I keep finding it hard to put everything into words.  I feel a lot  worse than I let on, and it dredged up so much I’d been burying. I couldn’t take it anymore—the control, the way everything's been twisted to make me feel guilty. I thought putting distance would help clear my mind, but the past just won’t stay in the past. I hate feeling like this, and knowing that there’s nothing I can do to change it. Oh, and about that person I met a while back…it’s been…really good, actually. It’s comforting and freeing in ways I hadn’t imagined. And I didn’t realize how much I needed that until now. I think this might be something real, and that thought scares me but also excites me. You two would be the best of friends, I know it. I just wish you could be down here with me. I love you, always.

[crystalrabbit246912]

Twisted Soulmate AU

Imagine if the main cast (all 22 named characters plus Yuu not counting Grim) had a familial or platonic Soulbond relationship, where they can write on their bodies to communicate. It's a little harder for Riddle, whose mother disapproves of Soulmates, the Octatrio, who are underwater, and Jamil, whose parents want him to work all the time, but they make do.

Now imagine if they also share pain through the bond. Experiencing the pain of 22 other people constantly sounds difficult...

The incident that lead to Leona's scar along with past events that all of them have felt means that they all have rather good pain tolerance, some better than others, like Ace is whiny about the pain, but they can all make it through the pain.

Rest under the cut.

But the person who transfers the most physical pain through the bond is Yuu, who doesn't have the best home life and is bullied at school. Unlike Azul's bullies however, (I headcanon that Azul's bullies never physically hurt him, because blood in the water is just asking for predators to come for him, and the bullies don't want him dead) they aren't afraid to use physical force.

All of this means that the only people who aren't against Yuu are their Soulmates. At this point, they haven't told each other their names, they just have nicknames because some of them are pretty famous and don't want it out that they're soulmates with such a large group.

While the group is struggling to find good times for all of them, because they live all over the world, which means different time zones, they're fine because they have each other, right?

Even if Riddle was being locked up by his mother in his own house, and they had to do a lot of convincing to prove to him that doing so was wrong, he would be fine because they were there for him, right?

Even if Leona was being told constantly that he'll never amount to anything compared to his elder brother to the point where he doesn't want to try anymore, he would be fine because they were there for him, right?

Even if Azul was being bullied constantly, having his emotions toyed with for the entertainment of others so that they could laugh at the tears they pulled from the octomer, he would be fine because they were there for him, right?

Even if Jamil's parents forced more work onto him constantly and made him consistently place lower than Kalim on everything, he would be fine because they were there for him, right?

Even if Vil was scared that everyone would only ever see him as a villain and that he couldn't get a happy ending like the heroes in plays and movies did, he would be fine because they were there for him, right?

Even if Idia mentioned that it was just him and Ortho on their lonely, isolated island away from everyone else, he would be fine because they were there for him, right?

Even if Malleus was feared by everyone around him for his immense magical power, for fear that he would lash out and hurt them for offending him, he would be fine because they were here for them, right?

Even if Yuu was getting beat up worse and worse by the day and couldn't get to them because they were stuck in another world, they would be fine because they were here for them, right?

But they couldn't be there all the time. They had to place their writing carefully, so that Riddle's mother wouldn't notice, so that Jamil's parents wouldn't think that he was slacking off, so that Vil, Leona, and Malleus wouldn't be seen with writing on them.

But they could make it through the struggles, even if they were all apart. A few of them had met in person before, Trey and Riddle, Vil and Jack, Jade, Floyd, and Azul, Ace and Deuce, Kalim, Leona, and Jamil... but other than that, they were all scattered across the world.

But they could push through, make it to each other, research ways to bring Yuu to them... they would find a way to make it work, find a way to be together, no matter their status.

And then, they finally met. Cater, Trey, Leona, Vil, Rook, Idia, Malleus, and Lilia all met at NRC for the first time. And while they may not be what they expected to be, they were all together and that was enough, even if it wasn't all of them.

The next year, Riddle, Ruggie, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Jamil, Kalim, and Silver joined them. Now in person, they were closer than ever. Now, they could talk without having to find a good place and time where they could write on their chest and stomach without odd looks.

The last year at NRC, everyone except Yuu was there. And while they tried to enjoy it, the gaping absence of the calm magicless teen was greatly felt by everyone, no matter how they tried to deny it.

But then the Headmaster came bursting in, along with a small, gender-ambiguous teen who they all felt a draw to.

That night, they all slipped out and met at the Ramshackle Dorm.

That night, they were finally together.

[intothegenshinworld]

Fate’s Destiny ~ Chapter 10 || New goals

You somehow, not being able to explain it, had fallen into the Genshin world you know oh-so-well. You were no new player and had explored most of the nooks and crannies of the world. When you first had woken up in Windrise you wondered; it might be a dream, after all, you were behind your screen usually, and now- here? It made no sense, and the world was keen on keeping it that way.

Warnings: Spoilers for main story.

Word count: 3.5k+

Auteurs note: My health is worsening. This chapter has been prewritten and queued in advance because of it. I hope you can enjoy it

↺ PREVIOUS CHAPTER || ↻ NEXT CHAPTER || MASTERLIST

Almost half an hour ago, Ningguang had walked into the room to inform you of Lumine and Paimon’s whereabouts. Thankfully, they hadn’t been in trouble and were still in Liyue harbor, searching for a way to find either a member of the Qixing, Rex Lapis, or you, until they were approached by one of Ningguang’s closest confidantes.

It was also Ningguang who informed you that you were currently in the infamous Jade Chamber, which floated at a nearly impossibly high altitude in the sky. Despite their vow to keep your identity a secret,  you chose to stay hidden from the workers and remained inside. This meant that you hadn’t witnessed the vast distance with your own eyes. However, the safety of the walls surrounding you gave little comfort after Ningguang revealed your location. 

Neither Zhongli's reassurance nor hers would make you feel more at ease during your stay above the clouds.

While awaiting Lumine and Paimon's arrival in the Jade Chamber, Zhongli kept his promise by having you sit down and focus on the stories depicted on the silk tapestries.

Battles and friendships from long ago do not return your memories, but you now know why Zhongli and Xiao validate you so. In the stories, it sounds like you were close friends before you lost your memories. It must be saddening for them to realise that these moments no longer remain with you. 

Ningguang interrupts the comfortable silence once more, “Creator, Rex Lapis.”

When you look up at her, you see your beloved friends by her side. Without a second to waste, you jump out of your chair. You practically stumble forward as you race across the room. 

“Y/n.” Lumine wraps her arms around you once you’re close enough, followed by Paimon wrapping her smaller ones over hers. In this short time, you had become close with both of them. If fate would be kind to you, it’d keep the three of you connected till the end of time.

After a short moment, you remove your hands from Lumine’s back and flash her an apologetic look, saying, “I’m sorry.” You glance away with a feeling of guilt. “I wanted to come back for you but a lot happened. And by the time I could do something, Lady Ningguang had already sent someone to get you up here.”

Lumine’s lips curve upwards, “There’s nothing to forgive, so don’t apologise. Xiao ended up helping us a great deal.”

Paimon nods her head vigorously. “Paimon admits Paimon was scared when Xiao suddenly showed up and told us we were followed. Paimon thought we were going to have to fight another dragon or something, but it ended up being a simple misunderstanding.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Dragon?”

A chair scrapes against the wooden floor. When you look over your shoulder towards the source, you see Zhongli has risen to his full height. His expression is calm and unrevealing of his emotions, as usual. It’s a look that radiates power—yet is devoid of intimidation and threat. 

He takes a step forward. “It is a pleasure to see you again, traveller.”

Lumine nods her head in acknowledgment, but it’s Paimon who responds. “Paimon is really happy too. Maybe after all this walking around, y/n is finally able to return their memories.” She turns to you with an encouraging smile and puts her thumbs up. 

“We… talked quite a lot already,” You point at the silk tapestries hanging from the ceiling. “I haven’t been able to recall anything yet, but I understand my position better after a little history lesson.”

Paimon awes at the pieces of art you pointed out. She floats further into the room without much care of intrusion. “Is that you?” 

You walk up to Paimon with Lumine following from behind. The little pixie had stopped in front of a silk tapestry that depicts Zhongli and some stone frog-dragon-thing that you’ve come to know as ‘Azdaha’. On the tapestry, you hold out your hand to ‘Azdaha’, a golden glow falling onto the skull of the beast and depicting you as a saviour of sorts. Zhongli, or Rex Lapis, or Morax—the names are a lot—is illustrated to stand behind you with his arms crossed. The tapestries aren’t detailed enough to show expressions, but the resemblance is certain. 

Similar to Paimon, Lumine looks at it with interest and curiosity. Her awe is less evident as her eyes glide over the picture, always carefully hiding her emotions. She seems a bit more hesitant for some reason, slowly taking in any detail and new information.

And while you and your companions stand in front of the tapestry, Zhongli seems to have made his way over as well because he stands next to you when he starts to explain the history behind the art, 

“Mortals have always had a fascination with the Creator. This specific tapestry demonstrates a power we used to call; ‘light energy’. It’s unlike any other elemental energy—something only the Creator is capable of.”

You look at the picture with yearning. Could this truly be you? Did you belong in such a timeline once upon a time? 

All of the stories Zhongli had told you were magnificent, almost in a dramatic soap series kind of way. It makes it hard to wrap your head around everything. It’s surreal to have history depict you as such a powerful being, especially when you’re unable to deny nor confirm the facts yourself. 

You catch Paimon staring at you. A nervous laugh escapes your lips. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m also unable to believe that’s me.”

Zhongli follows your laugh with a warm chuckle. “All in due time. For now, let’s take a seat. I would be delighted to answer any inquiries you may have.”

Uncertainty builds up in your stomach as you move in one of the four chairs surrounding the square table which is boldly placed in the middle of the room.  Because of its square shape, it has four equal sides, and thus no head. A design choice for a meeting table, a place where all participants would be equal, you suspect. 

Lumine’s eyes are already fixed on you when you turn to her. She gives you a small nod as she settles in the chair on your left while Paimon takes the one on your right. Zhongli takes the only seat left and comfortably settles across from you.

Once everyone is settled, you clear your mind. The small gnosis groans as if protesting, and you clutch it tightly in the hope of suffocating the reverberating rumbles it releases.

Then, you start, “Up until now, I've worked hard to regain my memories with the gnosis, but without success.” It trembles in your hand. “It isn’t enough. And while I’m eternally grateful for your help and willingness to tell me all of these memories that I should remember, I know I’m running out of time.”

The room falls silent as you finish your story, “—every moment I waste trying to figure out how to unlock my memories with a gnosis that wasn’t meant for me, is another moment where my memories slip from me. I need to know why you thought the gnosis would help me, and why it isn’t.”

Zhongli brings the teacup from the table to his mouth. It’s a calculated action, as if he’s trying to extend this moment, which brings a newfound anxiety for the answer he’s withholding. 

Once he lowers the teacup onto the table, he answers. “The gnoses were gifted by Celestia, but created from you. In its rawest form, the gnoses should be part of your lifeforce—your aura.”

The gnosis in your hands vibrates weakly when you look at it. Aside from the occasional surge of elemental power it seems to release, you haven’t felt a personal connection to the object ever since receiving it.

Why could that be?

“If I may be so bold,” Zhongli folds his hands over each other. “Your memories should have returned by now. The energy should have recognised its Creator. It is a similar concept to the ley lines, if that helps your understanding.”

Lumine frowns. “But…?”

“But if your memories are yet to return, perhaps the problem lies elsewhere.” 

You think about Zhongli’s words. Previously, you had assumed all of your problems to disappear if you were to remember everything. But what if there was another problem? Could you have missed the bigger picture that caused your fading memories? 

While you were more than displeased at this revelation, his statement seemed highly likely. 

“You believe this because of my aura? Since only a few seem to recognise it?” You look from Zhongli, to Lumine and Paimon, over to Xiao—who remains standing upright behind his Archon. 

Zhongli hesitates. “This is a possibility we should consider, yes.”

Xiao clears his throat. “Creator. Perhaps this could be because mortals aren’t able to comprehend weaker amounts of your energy. The traveller is an outlander, maybe they’re more sensitive to it as we are.”

“No.” You reject his idea. “I’ve met ordinary people who have been able to recognise my aura. Even if it was one, it’s unlikely to be an anomaly.”

Paimon puts her hands on her head. “Wait. Paimon is confused. Doesn’t this make the problem much bigger?” 

You look over to the little pixie who is visibly distressed with the new information. The corners of your lips lift despite the gloomy situation. She cares about you—as do the others in this room. 

Your conversation with Kaeya from the day before flashes through your mind.

“Why don’t you ask Rex Lapis himself? After all, he is the best person to seek answers from. As much as I love Mondstadt, I fear our Archon is as free as its people, so I can’t advise you to come back with me onto a journey to find the lost Barbatos.”

Kaeya's eyes had been fixated on the gnosis moments prior. You had wondered why he seemed so uninterested in it. After all, getting to know that gnoses exist and seeing one right in front of him should stir some feelings in him. Regardless of those being positive or negative.  

Perhaps in the grand scheme of things, it no longer seemed as potent as before.

In the past weeks you’ve been trying to unlock your memories through the geo gnosis without prevailing. Then, you spent a few hours listening to—what should be—your memories, without ever recalling them. 

If the geo Archon can’t help you, maybe you should seek an audience with another one.

While it seems like a good next step in your mission to recover your memories, you realise how hard this information will be for Zhongli. He’d been more than willing to spend the next century reciting all of his memories in the hopes of your own returning. Unfortunately, you need more than stories to fix this problem.

“What about the other Archons?” You ask carefully.

Zhongli furrows his eyebrows for a split second. Then he purses his lips, carefully thinking about his next words. “You wish to send a message to the Tsaritsa?”

You blink. Had he assumed you wanted to reach out to the cryo Archon after your prior interaction with La Signora? While you hadn’t been too opposed to it, Lumine and Paimon had warned you about the Fatui. 

Could you trust the cryo Archon?

“I was thinking about someone closer. A neighbouring nation, if preferable. Do you think Sumeru could help us?”

Paimon gasps. Before she can speak, Lumine interjects. “We have met the anemo Archon in the past. We could return to Mondstadt. It’s closer than Sumeru and we’re already acquainted, making it easier to find him.”

With your trusty cloak and the traveller as your aid, you will be able to explore the city without an uproar. In the worst scenario, not only Lumine would have your back, but Kaeya and Albedo too. Surely people would be more trusting of you with them by your side. 

But… 

Why would you cause an uproar?

Paimon continues, “If anyone recognises you, we can simply explain the situation to Acting Head Master Jean. After all, we saved Mondstadt with her. She’ll likely trust us if we tell her what’s been going on.” 

Right. The aura problem. 

What is wrong with you? How could you forget something you were just talking about?

You nod to yourself. “I suppose we now know our next move.”

Slowly, your eyes move up and shift over your companions in the room. Xiao and Lumine keep their emotions hidden behind a mask of neutrality, while Paimon wears hers visible with pride. Zhongli though…

The geo Archon remains silent for a moment longer. Then he speaks in a low voice. “What more can he offer compared to me? Barbatos isn’t—.” His tone shifts, but he quickly regains himself. He looks you directly in the eyes. “I know I would be able to offer more guidance. Liyue might not offer a vast abundance of knowledge on ley lines, but we have more than enough Adepti ready to aid you. Ones with centuries of experience, and centuries of memories with you.”

You look over to Lumine for her advice. 

“In such a short time frame actions are better than stories. If you aren’t able to remember your past life now, who says you will after hearing more? If you feel like you’re running out of time, more Archons on your side might be better.” Lumine turns from you to Zhongli. “And while Liyue seems like a good place to stay, won’t it take a while before the Adepti can find out what is wrong with the Creator’s aura?”

Zhongli eyes her down like a god would to a defiant follower. Greed and envy fill his eyes, and the gnosis seems to groan in response. “And what do you think Barbatos has to offer over me?”

“A new perspective.” Lumine holds her ground. After a moment longer, she turns her head to you, ignoring the Archon in her presence. “In Mondstadt we will meet new possibilities. Maybe the Abyss order is involved like they were with Dvalin. If so, we will find more answers there.” 

Paimon seems to agree with that possibility as she nods her head furiously in response. Xiao keeps his views to himself. The only tell he shows are his pursed lips and the words he keeps locked behind.

Mondstadt, or Liyue. 

Or you’ll be putting your faith into an Archon with nearly no influence over his own lands, or you can test your time by waiting and hoping the Adepti will find an answer. 

Both options sound like too much of a gamble, and yet—

“Can’t we do both?” You look up at your companions. “I mean, there’s no need for me to stay here and wait. I can go to Mondstadt while the Adepti try to help me from a distance.”

No more counterarguments are presented. It is the perfect middle ground for a less-than-perfect situation.

“Okay,” Zhongli answers in a flat tone. He forces a small silence into the room as he formulates a plan in his mind. Then he speaks again, “The Adepti will be gathered, and we will aid you.”

His doubt hides behind under his stiff and business formed composure, yet you’re able to recognise his true feelings without much effort. 

He does not approve of your decision. 

On the other hand, both Paimon and Lumine seem visibly relieved at your choice of heading to Mondstadt. Lumine has a visible smile on her face and her eyes are filled with newfound hope. 

She leans closer to you, making her hair fall in her face when she tilts her head playfully. “Let’s go to Mondstadt.” She gives you her brightest smile. “Together.”Her joy is enough to overshadow Zhongli’s doubt, and so your own eyes start to shimmer with hope—Forgetting the consequences of your choices altogether.

You’re quick at gathering your possessions once you return to the inn. The few belongings you own are all gathered in your hands. You realise you own very little to your name. The book gifted to you by Lumine and Paimon, pyjamas and underwear that had been bought on your travels, and a toothbrush. Everything else you used on a daily basis, was shared with Lumine. 

In an attempt to fill the silence in the room, you ask a question that has been stuck in your mind for a while now, 

“Lumine, Paimon?” Both halt their movements in favour of awaiting what comes next. “I never got to ask this in the Jade Chamber, but what happened after Xiao teleported me away?” 

Paimon is immediately captivated by your question. Her eyes widen as if she’s recalling the events. “Yeah! Remember Childe? He suddenly got really mad at Lumine for no reason!” 

Her tone is a bit too excited for her words to be alarming to you. You await her explanation.

“He started to pick a fight with the traveller, and because she already had her sword out, he immediately attacked. It caused a big commotion in the harbor and Childe only ran away once the Millelith intervened.”

Lumine adds to Paimon’s story while she continues to pack her stuff. “He had been keeping a close eye on me ever since I entered Liyue. No doubt, every meeting with me had been in his favour. But in all honesty, I think the Fatui has been keeping close tabs on me ever since Mondstadt. It didn’t feel like a personal thing.”

You hum. “I’m glad you weren’t hurt.” 

“Pfft? Hurt?” Paimon snickers. “If anyone was hurt, it was Childe.”

Lumine disagrees, “If we weren’t in public, I’m not sure what would’ve happened. As a Harbinger, he has a reputation to uphold. Childe never used his full powers during the fight.”

Lumine continues. “But enough about that.” She puts her hands on her hips and turns to you. “You also mentioned meeting a Harbinger on our way back. I’m curious how your confrontation went.” 

You avert your eyes. “I’d compare it to a forced diplomatic conversation instead of a confrontation—but yes.” 

You cross your arms. It takes no effort to remember your conversation with La Signora. The deal between the geo Archon and the cryo Archon was truly peculiar. If you had chosen to stay in Liyue, you might’ve been able to figure out what this deal was about. 

“There isn’t much to note, except that she was the mediator between the cryo and geo archon for a contract. I’m unsure of whether she felt my aura or not because she saw my face.” You hum, recalling the way she addressed you. “She did not seem to like me but she had no bad intentions either.”

Paimon perks up, “Paimon is just glad Rex Lapis was there to clear up any possible confusion about your identity. If it was Childe he might’ve tried to fight you as well.”

“Mhm,” You nod your head as you look over at the pixie. “And with La Signora returning to the cryo Archon, she might be able to help me. Who knows? Maybe that’s exactly what I needed.” 

Lumine shakes her head, “Not possible.” 

Paimon seems to agree with her. She crosses her arms and huffs once. “Paimon doesn’t trust the Fatui. They only ever fight!”

“Oh?”

“That woman took the gnosis from Venti–” She screeches, “And turned Paimon into an ice cube.” 

Lumine carefully adds, “The Fatui seem to be after the gnoses. What guarantee do you have of the Tsaritsa accepting you in your current form when she won’t try to respect her other Archons?”

You frown. Your lack of information on the cryo Archon and the Fatui was making the situation difficult. Could you be making the wrong choices? And if you were, how could you trust your previous judgement of leaving Liyue?

”Do you truly believe that the Fatui has bad intentions even if Zhongli, the geo Archon, had willingly signed a contract with La Signora?”

”Oh.” Paimon rubs her head. ”Paimon forgot about that.”

”Surely he’d have the right reasons to do this, no?”

Lumine pats her travel bag a few times, making sure it’s secure before she slings it over her shoulder. ”While I understand your confusion and need for answers, I’m not sure if we’ll ever get the truth of that question. Despite Rex Lapis’ willingness to share anything with you, he didn’t seem thrilled to explain certain things in detail. At least, not with us in the room.”

She gestures to Paimon with her head. The pixie seems to visibly deflate. ”Paimon also felt like that.”

”For now,–” Lumine puts a hand on your shoulder in a comforting way, ”–let’s head to Mondstadt. It’s still early, and I’ve got a feeling it’s best to depart as soon as possible.”

You nod and place your belongings in the bag Lumine had prepared for you. ”I’m ready.”

”Paimon is too!” The pixie throws her hand in the air and races outside. ”C’mon! Paimon really wants to stop by some food stalls on the way.” 

Lumine sighs and heads out of the door, trying to stop the small companion from leaving without you. 

Your hand clamps around the gnosis. It is silent for the first time since you received it. No energy, no faint humming, no vibrations. 

…

Nothing.

You pull your cloak over your head and take the first step towards Mondstadt.

If you liked this chapter and think I deserve a comment, please leave one behind! I appreciate it a lot and it'll make me more motivated to write in the future ♡

© intothegenshinworld. Do not copy, repost, translate or take heavy inspiration from my content. Thanks for reading.

[luveline]

hi Jade! I had a Miguel request but I apologize that it’s rather vague. Could you do Miguel comforting/dealing w how to comfort r when she’s genuinely afraid of something? I figure he’d be a little lost until he snaps into how much he cares! <3 love u

hope this is okay, thank u for requesting!! ♥

cw drug mention

Miguel watches you from the corner of his eye, uneasy. Arms stretched out in front of you to avoid walking into walls in the dim lighting, you follow the beam of his flashlight through the dark laboratory you'd wanted to investigate one precarious step at a time. The air smells of water-logged wood, rotting and stagnant. 

You're not his protege, but Miguel decided to take you under his wing (his claw? his web?) because you have good ideas, and he needs all the help he can get if he's going to save everyone, everywhere. He's also fucking tired and he's agitated with you for bringing him to some derelict building in a dimension that doesn't have spiders, let alone Spider People. 

"Why did you need this thing?" he asks. 

"Already told you." 

"Tell me again." 

If Miguel thinks he's a man of little words, you talk even less. "Spider adjacent creatures create a chemical similar to what you're injecting now, but less volatile." 

He doesn't remember you telling him that before. He doesn't stutter, the only evidence of his surprise a waver of the light beam. 

"And you'll, what? Synthesise for me?" he asks. 

"It could be gentler. Maybe give you a sense of normalcy."

Normalcy. He hasn't felt normal in a long time. 

He snaps into the quiet, "This is a waste of time, I don't need something gentler, what I need is to be back at the lab fixing your communicator." 

"It'll be like methadone," you say, stepping over a puddle of water with no apparent source. It must be seeping upward. 

He's lucky he didn't just get 'methadone' and nothing else thrown at him. Miguel fixes the flashlight up the oncoming stairs as you start to ascend, lightly chastened. Methadone is a drug intended to assist in heroin dependency. It has its own cons, but in lots of cases, it can help the user stop using the original drug. He assumes you're suggesting that whatever drug he synthesises from the 'spider adjacent creature' will help him wean off of the injections (unlikely), or maybe repair some damaged DNA (complicated but not favourable right now).

"It'll be safer," you say, walking into the room toward an upturned lab bench. "You can make something with it. I know you can." 

"I have to do it?" he asks, stopped in the doorway. 

"You're the geneticist. It's really quiet." 

The lack of changing cadence to your voice doesn't catch up with him until you're turning back toward him, your nervous expression lit by the torch. One second you're looking at him for reassurance, and the next you're falling through the floor, wood splintering up in a wave as the boards crack.

You scream. As loud of a sound as Miguel has ever heard from you, your arms slam forward to catch onto the edge of the hole your feet created. Miguel doesn't immediately move, aware that his weight over the weakened floor will damage the integrity further, but you beg him, shrill, "Miguel," you say, your voice strangled, "help me!"  

Your arms scrabble for purchase, you're pleading through sobs, "I don't want to fall–" 

He snaps his torch to his shoulder and flips forward. He grabs your arms, rolling across the shattered flooring to the opposite end of the room, releasing you as the weight of your bodies lands. You oof and roll out of his arms. 

He's quick to get on his feet. Miguel hardly felt it. You flinch away from him and hold out your arms, a sleuce of maroon blood spilling down your side from under your arm. "Don't! Miguel, don't concentrate our weight!" 

"You're crying," he says. 

"Stop moving!" you yell. 

"Alright!" he yells back, moving back toward a load-bearing pillar. "Calm down, estúpida! I'm not going to let you fall." 

"You can't come over here, the floor's gonna break again." 

"It won't break." 

"It's going to break!" 

You breathe harshly, staring at the hole you'd made. He understands why you were scared. The fall was sudden, and if you'd managed to slide through the hole you would have snapped your legs, perhaps your spine. Super healing doesn't negate pain. 

"Lyla?" he asks. 

She appears from his watch, in pyjamas with her hair held back by a white bunny-eared headband. "I was taking my fake nap. What do you want?" 

"I want a filter that accounts for a building's structural integrity," he says. 

"That's impossible without blueprints and– Hey, woah, what happened to Y/N?" she asks, keying in on your frantic panting. 

"Tell me how to get from here to there without breaking through the floor," he says, snaps, incensed by your panicked breathing. 

Lyla thankfully doesn't argue, nor does she make him beg. His heart pounds at the sight of you where you're shaking, certain you're a moment from falling again, your hands clamped uselessly to an outlet fixture on the wall. 

A blue path lights up Miguel's UI. It directs him with blinking arrows on how to reach you. Miguel follows along, and, wanting to carry you or at the very least wipe your wet cheeks, he lifts you onto your feet and walks you back to the door, directing you over stress points, hand held taut in his. The floor groans and sags dangerously underfoot, but it doesn't collapse again. 

You should've been wearing your suit, he thinks. You're an idiot. You came out here wanting to find something for him when you should've been directing your efforts to the cause of the strike force and the whole Society, but you wasted time, and now you're injured. You should've been wearing your fucking web shooters–

You try uselessly to bury your hands in his suit, your face dropped to his chest. You sob quietly, your shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry," you say, borderline hysterical. 

Miguel brings his hand to your shoulder awkwardly. You might have made a mistake, but you're kind. You're more than a brilliant mind, you're a person, with fear and want intertwined. You clearly hadn't liked the dark but you'd braved it for him knowing the chemical here in the labs could improve his quality of life. He shouldn't think about you so meanly. You couldn't have known about the floor. 

"What are you sorry for?" he asks with a sigh. 

His awkwardness comes across as reluctance. You stiffen under his hand. 

"I thought I was gonna fall," you say weakly, sniffling against his chest. 

Miguel starts to rub a slow shape into your back. It feels wrong to hear and see you cry, his quiet cariño, who haunts his laboratory offering little in the way of words but always a smile if you have it to give. "It's okay," he says, ducking his head to talk into your hair. He remembers how to do this. "Don't cry. I would've caught you." 

Miguel would've followed you down and wrapped you up to take the brunt of it without thinking, he knows that.

Your arms wrap around his sides. "When you didn't come get me I thought you were gonna let me fall," you confess, with a wet laugh as if to say, How silly am I?

Insanely silly. 

Miguel pats your back in a steadying thump, thump, thump. "Are you kidding? You think something like that would happen on my watch?" 

You shudder and give a little cough. He's surprised you didn't throw up, you'd wound yourself that tightly. Miguel pushes you away to make sure you aren't about to yak on him, and to check your face over for injury. He moves down to your neck, your bloodied side. 

"We need to go home," he says, holding your arm up away from the wound in as tender a grasp as he's capable of. 

"I didn't find the adendiam."

"Forget about it," he says. "We're going home. You're hurt." 

Miguel would pull you through the portal kicking and screaming if he had to, but luckily, you don't make a fuss. 

—

It's admittedly a blow to your ego to have cried in Miguel's arms. You don't know what to say or how to look at him now, miserable as he wipes down your skin with an iodine solution. His touch lingers: his hand on your shoulder, his reassuring hug less than an hour before like a cobweb on your skin. 

He passes you a change of clothes, a simple white shirt for moments like this. There's no need or want for a hospital gown. 

You pull it on, wincing at the soreness despite your quick healing and the nanotechnology that stitched your mean cut. You've deep bruises everywhere, especially under your arms where you caught yourself. 

You haven't managed to stop shaking, curled forward with a disposable bedpan in your hands. The smell of iodine makes you nauseous. 

Miguel audibly huffs. You can't face his disappointed glare. 

"Sorry, Miguel," you say. "I… wanted to do something to help you." 

"That was your first mistake. I don't need help." 

You wince and go rigid, clinging to your bedpan for dear life and cursing yourself for being an idiot as he'd lamented, when a weight shifts on the examination table. A blue bedecked thigh spread out next to your own. 

"Second mistake, thinking I'd leave you to fall. Third, thinking you owe me an apology." 

"Any more?" you ask weakly. 

Your waist grows hot under the touch of a hand. Miguel wraps his arm around you gently. "No. Nothing else." 

Miguel pulls you in for a half hug.

You lean in to his side. He's solid beside you, and he starts to talk. He tells you about Rapture, the first time, and the mistakes he made after it. How scared he was in few words but an honest admission, his arm never moving from where it curls around you, holding you close. "We all have things that scare us," he says. "But you can't let them stop you from moving forward."

"How do you stop the fear?" you ask. 

"No, you can't. You need to keep going. I wasn't going to let you fall, and I won't, but you need to be able to pull yourself up. I can't… lose you to fear." 

You look up at the side of his face. He's looking down at the floor, not bashful or nervous but determined. His brow is set, and when he turns his gaze to you, it doesn't soften. 

"I can't lose you," he says. "I won't." 

You stare as he wraps you in a hug, your wide eyes looking over his shoulder in shock, your hands moving weakly behind his back to reciprocate. He drops his face into your neck. 

After a moment, you close your eyes and lean in.