#beautiful thought sarah thank u

[ohithankyou]

Buck and Tommy are in love with each other.

yeah they are 🥹🥹🥹

[aliyahwritings]

THE CONTRACTED HEART — Rafe Cameron (05)

MASTERLIST | Basketball Player & Model!Female Reader

Summary: Rafe Cameron, a basketball star, needs a marriage to fix his image, while Model!Reader needs one for citizenship. They may be the perfect solution for each other.

Warnings: smut, descriptions of violence, jealousy, usage of drugs, talks about body image/ed, angst, and lots of bickering. Reader is confident, a people-pleaser, has a traumatic past, and is a sunshine with an attitude. Rafe is a whore, possessive, cocky, and secretive about his past.

Word Count: 9.4k

Aliyah's Notes: i have two exams in five years and i still haven't slept, so if u notice any mistakes pls ignore them. i'll fix them when i have time, and yes a scene is inspired by the maddest obsession BUT ANYW AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER IS INSANE AND PLS DONT SCREAM AT ME FOR THE ENDING LIKE IM SO SORRY BUT IT HAD TO BE DONE

“Hey, you want to know something?” Sarah said, approaching you as you sat quietly at a table, lost in thought. Beside her, two girls: one had mid-length brown curls and sun-kissed blonde highlights, gave you a friendly grin, her energy light and approachable. The other had wavy, jet-black hair that framed her face, her features both sharp and effortlessly beautiful. They were stunning, you thought, in a way that felt both comforting and a little intimidating. “I never liked her. Even back when she and my brother were together, I never got along with Chiara.”

The girl with the highlighted curls nodded, sliding into the seat next to you. “Same here. There’s always been something... off about her,” she agreed, scrunching her nose in a way that made you smile. “Oh! I’m Kiara, by the way,” she added quickly. “Different spelling than Chiara, but I promise we’re nothing alike.”

The girl with the wavy black hair gave a little wave as she took the seat across from you, her smile warm and easy. “And I’m Cleo,” she introduced herself with a slight accent. “Can’t say I disagree with Sarah and Kie here. Chiara’s just... kind of a staple at these things. She’s always been around, so the guys still invite her out of habit.”

“And if they didn’t, she’d probably throw a tantrum,” Sarah added, rolling her eyes in exasperation. 

You felt a warmth creeping into your cheeks as you looked at the three of them, surprised by how welcoming they were. “Thanks, girls. I’m Y/N, by the way,” you said shyly, offering a small smile. 

“Girl, we know who you are,” Cleo came to sit on your side and nudged you softly. “But don’t worry, you’re part of the group now—Chiara who?” she joked, making you all laugh.

You cleared your throat, glancing between the three girls who were deep in conversation. The question had been sitting heavy on your mind since the moment you met Chiara. “So… Rafe and her—did they used to date?”

The girls exchanged a look, the brief silence almost uncomfortable. It was as if they were weighing their words, deciding what to say or what to hold back. Their reluctance only made you want answers more. Who was Chiara to Rafe, really?

Finally, Sarah glanced away, a frown crossing her face. “It’s… complicated.”

You couldn’t help but lean in, unable to stop the curiosity stirring in your chest. “How complicated?” you pressed. “Were they exes? Friends with benefits? Did they break up right before Rafe and I got together? Or was it just her holding on to a crush he never—”

Kiara gently placed a hand over yours, her eyes warm and understanding. “Y/N, it’s okay. You don’t have to overthink it, alright?”

You sighed, the uncertainty making your stomach twist. “I just wish I knew what they are—or were—to each other. Rafe hasn’t said a word about her. Not a thing.”

Cleo gave you a sympathetic look, and Sarah hesitated, biting her lip as though weighing whether to say more. Finally, she began, “Wait, so he really didn’t tell you about what they—”

But Sarah’s words were cut off abruptly as Rafe’s voice broke through the noise of the party. “Sweetheart, can we talk?”

The girls turned toward him, their expressions ranging from surprise to mild disgust.

Kiara shot him a skeptical look, brows raised. “Who did he just call ‘sweetheart’?”

Cleo’s eyes widened as she put her hands up in mock innocence. “Definitely not me.”

Sarah shook her head, holding back a laugh. “Don’t look at me. My brother’s never called me any nickname. So, nope, not me either.”

Their eyes turned back to you, and it clicked. Rafe’s gaze was fixed on you, his face serious, almost imploring. You fidgeted with your hands, glancing over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Chiara. She was a few steps away, engrossed in a conversation with JJ, yet her eyes were unmistakably trained on you and Rafe. Her expression was unreadable, something between irritation and curiosity, and the ambiguity of it only frustrated you more.

Rafe’s voice softened, his eyes searching yours. “Y/N, let’s go. Please?”

“I’m serious about her, Chiara,” was what Rafe replied earlier, his voice firm but before you could register the words, Chiara grabbed his arm, pulling him toward the garden without so much as a second glance in your direction, leaving you alone in the middle of the party—feeling like a complete idiot.

You weren’t sure how to feel about Rafe’s words. It was exactly what you’d hoped to hear, but his delivery had been off, and the way he left with her immediately afterward left a sour taste. You remember watching them through the windows. Their conversation looked intense. Chiara’s hands moved wildly, gesturing with a frustration that seemed matched by Rafe, who kept sighing and tossing his arms up in exasperation. Whatever they discussed, it was clearly charged.

But now, Rafe was standing in front of you, his expression unreadable as he asked to talk. About what? You didn’t know. Maybe he’d finally explain who Chiara was to him or put to rest the suspicion twisting in your gut, though you doubted he would. Instead of lingering on the countless possibilities, you took a steadying breath, nodded, and followed him outside.

The night air was cool, a stark contrast to the party’s warmth, and you found yourself standing on the porch beside him, facing the quiet street. For a moment, silence fell between you, thick and awkward, as if neither of you knew where to begin. He glanced at you and you felt a flicker of anticipation mixed with unease, wondering what he’d say—if he’d finally give you the answers you were looking for.

Rafe leaned against the porch railing, arms folded, his gaze fixed somewhere over your shoulder. “Look... Chiara just… she doesn’t handle change well,” he said, his tone flat, almost dismissive. “She’s just… used to things being a certain way. She's dramatic."

You crossed your arms, holding back the questions building up. “Right. So, she drags you outside because she’s feeling… what? Dramatic?”

He glanced at you, then quickly looked away, jaw tightening. “It’s not like that,” he said, his voice clipped. “She’s… she’s just not used to seeing me with someone else.”

You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep your tone light. “Oh, so I’m the problem?”

Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “No, it’s not you. It’s…” He paused, as if weighing how much he wanted to say. “She just thinks… I don’t know, she has her own ideas about things. She probably assumed things were the way they used to be.”

You frowned. “Used to be?” The question slipped out before you could stop it, and when Rafe didn’t answer right away, you continued. “So, you two were… what? Together?”

He shook his head. “Not exactly. Things just... overlapped for a while. It was just… a thing. A long time ago.”

Your patience was wearing thin. “And by ‘a long time ago,’ you mean… what? Last week? Last month?”

Rafe exhaled sharply, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “Shit, why does it matter? Whatever it was, it’s over, alright? I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you.”

“Maybe you do need to,” you shot back, feeling your cheeks heat. “I think I deserve to know when I’m about to walk into a situation where some girl is going to pull you away and act like I’m the one intruding.”

Rafe’s jaw tightened, and he leaned in slightly, his eyes narrowing. “She’s not just ‘some girl.’ She’s… someone I’ve known for a while. And she’s… complicated. Okay?”

“Right. ‘Complicated.’” You let the word hang in the air, dripping with sarcasm. “I’m sure it’s just so complicated that you couldn’t even bother to tell me about her before dragging me into this.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “It’s not like that. I just… I didn’t think she’d show up here. I didn’t think it would matter.”

You shook your head, folding your arms tighter around yourself. “Well, maybe it does matter, Rafe. Because from where I’m standing, it looks like she has some claim on you.”

"What?" Rafe’s eyes flashed with irritation, and he straightened up, clearly done with the conversation. “Look, she doesn’t have a fucking ‘claim’ on me. It’s nothing. Just… drop it.”

The bluntness of his words stung, and you took a steadying breath, keeping your voice as even as possible. “Fine,” you said coolly, shrugging as if you weren’t affected. “But you might want to let her know that.”

He shook his head, muttering something under his breath before his gaze met yours again. “You’re overthinking it. She’s… she’s just used to being a part of my life, and now things are different. She’ll deal with it.”

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head slightly. “Funny, because from where I was standing, it didn’t look like she was planning to just ‘deal with it.’ It looked like she was… I don’t know, trying to stake her territory or something.”

Rafe sighed, looking away again. “That’s just how she is. She’s always… been intense. Doesn’t mean anything.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, feeling a mix of frustration and something uncomfortably close to jealousy. “So, I’m just supposed to ignore it? Pretend she didn’t pull you, my boyfriend, outside to… to lecture you about me?”

“Exactly,” he replied, his tone abrupt. “It’s just noise. Don’t pay her any mind.”

The simplicity of his response only fueled your irritation. “Right. Because I should just… ignore all of this and act like nothing’s wrong.”

“Look, I didn’t ask her to make a scene,” he said, his voice sharper now. “And I didn’t think she’d come here tonight. She just… showed up, okay?”

You paused, studying his expression, which was a mixture of defensiveness and something else you couldn’t quite place. “So, what’s the story with her?” you asked, trying to keep your tone casual, though you knew it was anything but.

Rafe let out a frustrated breath. “There’s no ‘story,’ alright? She’s just… she was around for a while, that’s it. We had… an understanding.”

You raised an eyebrow, the vagueness of his answer only adding to your frustration. “An understanding,” you repeated slowly, crossing your arms tighter. “Well, it seems like she didn’t quite get the memo that whatever ‘understanding’ you had is over.”

He shifted uncomfortably, glancing toward the house as if hoping someone would interrupt. “She’ll get over it. I just didn’t expect her to… make it a whole thing.”

“Maybe she made it a whole thing because you haven’t made it clear to her that it’s… nothing,” you said, emphasizing his own words back to him.

Rafe’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Why are you making this such a big deal? It’s not like we're actually together. This—" he said, moving his fingers between you two "—is fake, in case you forgot.”

“Oh, right, because it’s so normal for the girl you used to have… whatever with to show up at a party and act like I’m the one intruding.” You shook your head, exasperated. “Forgive me for wanting to understand the situation.”

He shrugged, still not meeting your eyes. “It’s just… old history. Not worth bringing up.”

“Then maybe you should have thought of that before dragging me into this,” you shot back, your voice laced with frustration.

He finally met your gaze, his jaw set. “Dragging you into what? It’s not like I invited her here.”

You raised an eyebrow, challenging him. “Did you invite me here to watch your past blow up in front of us?”

Rafe let out a bitter laugh. “This is what I get for trying to bring you around my friends. Next time, I’ll keep it strictly professional. How’s that?”

You felt a pang of hurt, but you masked it with a tight smile. “Perfect. I’ll remember that for next time, Rafe.” You turned away, taking a few steps back toward the house, hoping he’d get the hint that you were done.

But Rafe’s hand closed gently around your wrist, stopping you. “Wait.” His voice was low, reluctant, but there was a softness there you hadn’t expected.

You turned, catching his gaze, which had softened just slightly. “What?”

He hesitated, then let go of your wrist, his fingers lingering just a moment longer. “I just… I didn’t expect her to react this way. I thought… things were clear between us.”

“Clearly, they’re not,” you replied, unable to keep the edge from your tone.

Rafe sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ll try to talk to her, alright? Make sure she understands. But can we just… leave it here?”

You watched him, seeing the frustration, the tension in his shoulders, and you knew he wasn’t about to tell you any more than he already had. So, instead of pushing it further, you forced a casual shrug. “Fine. Whatever. It’s none of my business anyway, right?”

A flicker of something passed across his face—surprise, maybe, or regret. “Right. It’s not,” he said, though his voice was quieter, as if the words didn’t sit right with him.

You nodded, biting back the urge to say anything more. “Great. Glad we’re on the same page.”

An awkward silence settled between you, the tension thick and unresolved. Rafe shifted, glancing toward the house. “We should get back. People will start talking if we’re both out here too long.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, we wouldn’t want that, would we?” The sarcasm was sharp, but you didn’t care; you were too irritated to soften it.

He shot you a look, somewhere between exasperation and apology, but said nothing as he turned to head back inside. You followed a few paces behind, feeling the weight of the conversation pressing down on you, every unanswered question lingering like a shadow.

Before reaching the door, Rafe paused, his hand resting on the doorknob as he glanced back at you. “Listen…” He hesitated, as if searching for the right words. “It’s… just a lot, okay? Give me some time. I’ll sort it out.”

You held his gaze, unsure whether to believe him, but you nodded once. “Fine. But make it clear, Rafe. I’m not here to play second fiddle to some girl from your past. My life is on the line and I don't have time to worry about this sort of thing.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but whatever he was about to say, he swallowed back. Instead, he gave a tight nod and pushed open the door, slipping back into the noise and light of the party. You followed him and plastered on a fake smile while wondering if you’d ever get the truth out of him.

For the next hour, you put on a mask, pretending everything was fine—like nothing happened. But no matter how hard you tried to push the thoughts away, they lingered, clouding every moment. What was Rafe and Chiara’s relationship? You forced yourself to focus on the laughter, the music, and the warmth of the people around you, determined to enjoy the night with Rafe’s friends. Yet every so often, your mind drifted back to Chiara and Rafe, leaving an uncomfortable knot in your stomach.

Rafe took you around the room, introducing you to his teammates: Topper Thornton, Kelce Miller, JJ Maybank, Pope Heyward, and John B Routledge. They each greeted you with a friendly smile and a welcoming vibe. You found yourself particularly drawn to Topper's lighthearted humor and Pope's quiet charm, making it a bit easier to relax. But it was the girls who truly helped lift your spirits. Their energy was infectious, and you quickly found yourself laughing and swapping stories as if you’d known them forever.

Just as you were in the middle of an animated conversation, you heard someone call out, "Miss supermodel!" You turned to see Topper staggering toward you with a mischievous grin, clearly several drinks deep. “Come drink with us! You haven’t had a single sip all night!”

You couldn’t help but smile as he swayed slightly, holding up a red cup with a challenging look. He finally came in front of you and you had to shake your head. “I’m sorry, Topper. I can’t drink tonight. I’m on contract.”

He whined and threw his head back. “Why? A little sip won’t hurt you, right? Come on, please.”

You laughed, shaking your hands as he pouted dramatically, swaying slightly. “Topper, you’re wasted! I think you’ve had enough for both of us.”

He held his heart in mock offense. “Oh, come on! Just one tiny sip!” He held out the cup, swirling it a little as if to tempt you. “Look, it’s just tequila! You can handle tequila, right?”

You hesitated, glancing down at the cup and then back at his hopeful face. “I really shouldn’t… If anyone from the agency finds out, I’m in trouble.”

“Who’s gonna know? It’s just us here, right?” He looked around, grinning mischievously. “Your secret’s safe with me. And, hey, you can’t just let me be the only one embarrassing myself tonight.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully. “Alright, one sip. But that’s it, okay?”

Topper’s eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Yes! That’s all I’m asking for.” He held out the cup, his face eager with anticipation.

You took the cup from him, feeling the weight of all the eyes on you as his friends turned to watch, clearly amused by the scene. Raising the cup to your lips, you took a big sip, the tequila burning as it went down. You scrunched your nose at the taste, earning a round of cheers from Topper and the girls.

“There we go! Wasn’t so bad, was it?” he laughed, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Awful,” you teased, wiping your lips. “But now you can’t say I didn’t drink with you.”

Topper gave you a victorious grin. “I knew you’d come through! You’re practically one of us now.”

You should’ve known.

Less than an hour later, you were stumbling across the living room, thoroughly tipsy and clinging to Kiara, who was somehow even more drunk than you. The two of you were giggling uncontrollably, reduced to hysterics over the silliest things—the pretzels shaped like animals, the crooked painting on the wall. Every little thing was hilarious, and the alcohol only seemed to amplify your laughter and loosen your inhibitions.

Lost in your little bubble, you didn’t notice Rafe watching from across the room, his gaze sharp and unblinking as he kept tabs on you. He hadn’t seen you like this before—free-spirited, a little reckless, and definitely wilder than he was used to. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he watched you shout out something along the lines of, “Everyone should just strip already!” before lifting the hem of your top, ready to make good on your words.

That was Rafe’s cue. In a flash, he crossed the room, slipping his hands over yours before you could pull your shirt over your head. His touch was firm, grounding, a stark contrast to the chaos around you. "Whoa there," he murmured, his voice laced with amusement, but his eyes were warm, almost protective.

You blinked up at Rafe, a goofy grin plastered across your face as you realized he was standing right in front of you. The room spun just a little, but his steady hands on yours felt oddly comforting.

“Rafe!” you slurred, beaming as though you hadn’t seen him in days. “Fuck! Isn’t it, like, super hot in here?”

Rafe smirked, shaking his head. “I think that’s just the tequila talking, baby,” he replied, steadying you as you swayed. His fingers stayed wrapped around yours, almost possessive, but he didn’t let go.

You pouted, glancing around at the half-dressed friends who were now laughing at your enthusiastic outburst. “Fine, but I was just trying to help everyone loosen up, you know?”

“Oh, trust me, you’ve definitely loosened up,” he chuckled, his eyes scanning you, both entertained and slightly exasperated. “Maybe… a little too much.”

You leaned in closer, your voice dropping to a playful whisper, “You know you enjoy it.”

Rafe’s gaze softened, but there was something else there, too—like he was seeing a side of you he hadn’t before. “Maybe I do,” he replied, his voice low, almost as if the words had slipped out unintentionally. He cleared his throat, his grip tightening on your hands. “But I also love it when you’re not stripping in front of half my team.”

You giggled, reaching up to playfully ruffle his hair. “Aww, big, tough Rafe is jealous I haven’t stripped to him first, is that it?”

Just then, Kiara stumbled over, clearly in search of more entertainment. “Hey! Let’s play a game, everyone!” 

Rafe sighed. “Alright, I think that’s our cue to leave,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he looked back at you.

You tugged on Rafe’s arm, leaning into him with a dramatic pout. “Nooooo… let’s play the game, and then we can go,” you insisted.

“Y/N, you’re beyond wasted,” he said, arching an eyebrow in disbelief. “I doubt you’ll even be able to play the game right.”

“I am not drunk,” you protested, crossing your arms defiantly. The words slurred just slightly, giving you away. Rafe’s skeptical look only deepened. “I’m just a little tipsy,” you amended quickly, giving him a grin. “Come on, don’t be such a buzzkill.”

He hesitated, watching you with a mixture of amusement and concern. For a moment, he seemed ready to argue, but as you flashed him your brightest, most convincing smile, he sighed, a reluctant smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Fine,” he muttered, finally giving in.

You joined everyone on the floor, settling into a circle with a bottle of vodka at the center and shot glasses placed around. The music was turned down, but the room’s energy buzzed with anticipation. You found yourself between Rafe on your left and Sarah on your right. Across from you were Pope, Cleo, John B, and Chiara, each giving you encouraging grins or a raised brow.

Kiara took charge with a gleeful smile. “Alright, you all know how Never Have I Ever works, right?” She scanned the group, receiving nods all around. “Perfect! If anyone wants to skip a question, you take a shot. Simple enough. Should I start?” She tapped her chin playfully before flashing a mischievous grin. “Never have I ever dated someone at least ten years older than me.”

A chorus of laughter and surprised murmurs rippled through the group as Rafe, Kelce, and Topper each dropped a finger. A few gasps followed, and your eyes darted to Rafe, eyebrows raised in curiosity.

"So, you’re into cougars, huh?” you whispered, unable to hide your amused smile.

He shrugged, glancing at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Not anymore,” he murmured, his gaze flicking to your lips. The slow lick he gave his own sent a spark through you, making you gulp and look away quickly. Was it the alcohol, or did he just do that on purpose?

JJ smirked, taking the lead for the next round. “Alright, let’s up the stakes. Never have I ever been in handcuffs…and I don’t mean the kind from a police station.”

The number of people lowering their fingers was surprising. Sarah, John B, Kelce, Chiara, Cleo...and even you. As soon as you put your finger down, Rafe snapped his head in your direction, his eyes wide with surprise. You avoided his gaze, a sly smirk playing on your lips as you focused elsewhere, feeling his lingering stare and the unspoken question in his eyes.

“Lots of naughty people here,” Kiara smirked, eyeing the group of us who had fingers down. Her grin was wicked as she surveyed the room, making everyone squirm just a little. “I see y’all… I see y’all! Alright, someone else ask the next question!”

Topper jumped at the chance, grinning as he dramatically raised a finger. “Never have I ever had a crush on someone in this room,” he declared, looking around with a teasing sparkle in his eyes.

You watched as some people—those who were obviously in relationships (and Chiara)—put their fingers down, laughing and giving each other cute looks. You shrugged, you didn’t relate to that question. You didn’t do anything, leaning back as others shared knowing glances. But then, Rafe nudged your shoulder, leaning down close enough for you to feel his breath against your ear.

“Come on, put a finger down,” he whispered, his voice low and warm. His hand rested on your knee, his thumb grazing in gentle circles, as if to coax you into admitting something.

You shook your head, letting out a sleepy laugh. “I don’t have a crush on anyone,” you slurred, clearly drunk. Your words came out slower, a bit softer, and you could feel Rafe chuckle beside you, probably entertained by how far gone you were.

“Did you forget we’re together?” he asked, amused. Without waiting for your response, he took your hand and put a finger down for you. His touch was gentle, yet possessive.

JJ spotted the exchange, laughter bursting out of him as he pointed at you. “Oh, damn, Rafe! She actually forgot she even likes you!”

Rafe shot him a mock glare, flipping him off with a grin. “That’s on you, fuck-heads, for handing her all those shots,” he retorted, pointing an accusatory finger around the group. “We’re gonna head out soon if she keeps this up.”

“No! Don’t go!” Cleo’s voice suddenly cut through, practically pouting. “I like her! Don’t take her away from me—us!”

Pope waved his hands, laughing as he tried to steer the game back on course. “Alright, let’s just keep this moving before the girls start crying. Here’s one—never have I ever had a threesome.”

The room went quiet, people hesitating to react. Then smirks appeared, and the accusations started flying at JJ, with Topper and a few others pointing fingers. “Come on, man! We literally saw you making out with two girls at once last month!”

You felt the conversation slipping in and out, barely paying attention to the bickering. Your head felt heavy, and with each passing second, you found yourself drifting further. Almost without realizing it, you leaned into Rafe’s shoulder, your head resting there like it had always belonged. His arm wrapped around you, hand trailing up and down your shoulder in comforting circles, and you closed your eyes, feeling strangely at peace. His warmth surrounded you, making the noise around you blur into the background. For a fleeting moment, you wondered if you could stay like this forever.

Across the room, Chiara’s eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the two of you, her jaw clenching almost imperceptibly. Her stare was sharp, piercing, and a flash of something darker seemed to flicker there.

“Hey, guys! Let’s stop arguing and actually play,” Sarah called out, snapping everyone’s attention back to the game. She pointed at you and Rafe, grinning. “Those two are practically out like lights! Okay, here’s one: never have I ever had sex in a movie theater.”

Laughter erupted again as John B hesitated, clearly too shy to admit to anything. You looked up at Rafe, raising an eyebrow playfully as if to ask if he’d ever done something like that. He met your gaze, shaking his head.

When he raised his brow to ask you the same question, you mimicked his gesture, shaking your head. But then, with a mischievous glint in your eye, you leaned into him, dropping your voice to a whisper. “Bathrooms, though… I’ve done it there.” You weren’t sure why you said it—he hadn’t even asked. “I don’t know if that counts…”

Rafe’s brows shot up in surprise, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Guess you’re freakier than you look.”

You chuckled, leaning back. “What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t look like the type?”

He shook his head slowly, letting his eyes wander over you, his gaze lingering on your lips before it drifted back up to your eyes. “Not exactly,” he murmured, voice low.

“Oh?” you asked, hand drifting to rest on his thigh, watching the glint in his blue eyes intensify as he looked down at your hand. “Come on, Cameron. Tell me what I look like, then.”

His fingers traced light patterns under the hem of your shirt, brushing over the skin at your waist in a way that made your breath hitch. He leaned in close, his lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “You look like you want to be fucked roughly,” he paused, letting his words linger before he added with a smirk, “but maybe you should get some sleep instead.”

You playfully swatted his arm, pushing yourself upright with a laugh. “Screw you, Rafe.”

With a grin, he pulled you back to his side, wrapping his arms around you as you settled against him again. “Oh, come on, sweetheart,” he murmured, his voice gentle but teasing. “You know I’m just messing with you—”

Chiara Romano’s voice cut through the chatter with an edge sharper than before. “Okay, my turn now,” she said, raising her head, her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that made you feel uneasy. “Never have I ever…” she paused, letting her gaze linger on you a moment longer, her lips curling into a smirk that held none of the warmth and humor everyone else’s questions had. “... never have I ever filmed myself in the bathroom puking my guts out after eating.”

A shocked silence fell over the room. You felt the air freeze, every eye darting to Chiara in disbelief, and then back to you. The words hit like a punch to the gut, and the humiliation was instant and overwhelming. Your face flushed as the awful memories flooded back—the horrible moment that video had been leaked, exposing your bulimia to the world without mercy. You’d spent months trying to rebuild, to reclaim your own story, but now it was out in the open again, with a cruelty that left you breathless.

Your cheeks flamed with humiliation, and your chest tightened as if the air had been sucked out of the room. You felt every gaze on you, piercing, questioning, but you couldn’t bring yourself to meet anyone’s eyes. Your fingers curled around your tighs, gripping tightly, almost leaving red marks.

You closed your eyes the moment you felt tears coming up. You didn’t want to cry in front of everyone, it was embarrassing enough that they got reminded of the most embarrassing moment of your life—crying would embarrass you even more. None of them know what you went through after that video got leaked. No one knew the nights you spent in rehab centers getting mocked for the video—as if everyone there wasn’t in because of mental illnesses too. They didn’t know the amount of strength it took for you to finally get clean… only for you to relapse again this afternoon.

They didn’t fucking know!

Rafe stood up beside you, his body going tense beside you. His jaw clenched as his eyes narrowed at her. “What the fuck is wrong you?” he yelled, his voice sharp, like he was barely holding back.

She shrugged, feigning innocence, though the smirk stayed firmly on her face. “What? I thought we were all sharing our secrets here, right? After all, the video has already been leaked for everyone to see, like, years ago… didn’t think it was such a big deal.”

You felt like you were drowning, the walls closing in on you as Chiara’s words rang in your ears. Without thinking, you bolted for the door, the need to escape driving you forward. You pushed past Rafe, who instinctively reached out for you, but you couldn’t stop. You needed to get out, away from the judgment, away from the stares that felt like daggers. The cold night air hit you as you stepped outside, but it didn’t matter; all you could think about was putting as much distance between yourself and the party as possible.

The rain poured down in sheets, drenching you instantly. You stumbled through the downpour, your heart racing as you made your way toward the car, the asphalt slick and glistening under the streetlights. You couldn’t believe it had come to this, running away like some frightened child, but the humiliation burned too fiercely to stand another moment.

Behind you, you heard Rafe call out your name, his voice cutting through the sound of the rain. “Y/N! Fuck—wait!” He sounded frantic, his tone a mix of worry and urgency. You could hear him rushing after you, his footsteps splashing through puddles as he chased you down.

“Just leave me alone!” you shouted over your shoulder, the words coming out more desperate than you intended. You didn’t want to feel his pity, didn’t want him to see you like this—broken and exposed. 

“Look, I’m so sorry for what she—”

“I don’t want your fucking pity, Rafe!” you turned around to see him running toward you. His clothes clinging to his body. “Just go back there, and leave me alone for the night, alright?”

“I’m not leaving you!” he shouted back, his voice firm. You could hear the determination in his tone, and it both soothed and angered you. Why wouldn’t he just let you go?

You reached the car, fumbling with the door handle, your fingers slipping as the rain poured down, obscuring your vision. You wanted to get inside, to hide from everything—from Chiara, from your mistakes, from the shame that clung to you like a second skin.

Just as you finally got the door open, Rafe was there, blocking your way. He stood next to you, soaking wet but unbothered, his expression fierce and protective. “Y/N, please,” he urged, his voice softer now, almost pleading. “Come on�� Just… just talk to me.”

His presence was grounding, but you couldn’t shake off the overwhelming tide of emotions surging through you. “What’s there to talk about?” you asked, your voice broke. “It’s all out there for everyone to see. I couldn’t handle it back then and I… I can’t handle it now. I can’t…” you felt tears pooling at your eyes.

Rafe took a step closer, rain cascading down his face, but he didn’t reach for you. Instead, he held his hands up, palms facing you. “Don’t run away from this.”

“Watch me,” you shot back, glaring at him through tears. “You can’t fix this, Rafe, so just let me go.”

“I am not letting you go,” he insisted. “What she did was cruel—she felt miserable seeing us together. You know better than this.”

“Do I?” you echoed, feeling your own resolve wavering as you locked eyes with him. “It’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one with the history she just exposed. You’re not the one who’s been ridiculed for something that was leaked against your will!”

“Neither am I the one hiding in a corner, sulking because some jealous bitch decided to take a cheap shot,” Rafe countered, his frustration evident. “You’re stronger than this, so stop acting like you’re not. Stand up for yourself!”

“Stand up for myself?” You laughed, a hollow sound that echoed in the rain. “And how do you suggest I do that? By going back there and asking her to apologize? By acting like it doesn’t hurt?”

“Why give her the satisfaction of knowing she’s getting to you?”

“Because it’s easy!” you snapped, frustration boiling over. “It’s easier to run away and hide than it is to face the pain! Don’t you get that? I thought I was done with all of this, and now I’m just… I’m back to square one. I thought you understood me better than that.”

“Clearly, I don’t,” he said, his tone cutting. “You want to hide, and I’m not going to let you hide from yourself. I care about you, Y/N...”

You felt your heart pound in your chest, caught between anger and a flicker of something deeper. “What you care about is saving face. You want the perfect girlfriend who can handle anything. But I’m not that person, Rafe. I’m a mess. I have issues, and I’m tired of pretending I’m not.”

He stepped closer, the tension between you thick and electric. “And I’m not asking you to pretend. I’m asking you to be real. To be honest about what you’re feeling. We can face this if you’d just let me help you instead of pushing me away.”

You hesitated, the rain drumming a steady rhythm around you as you stared at him. “Maybe I don’t want your help. Maybe I don’t need anyone to fix me.”

“Then why the hell are you running away from this?” he challenged, his voice rising again. “Because it’s too hard? Because it makes you uncomfortable? Life is uncomfortable, Y/N! That’s the reality, and running away doesn’t change that.”

“I just don’t want to do this right now,” you shot back, the weariness of the night creeping in. “I didn’t sign up for a therapy session. I wanted to have fun, to forget, and now it feels like I’m being dragged back into all the crap.”

Rafe’s expression softened slightly, but his resolve remained. “And you can’t forget by ignoring it. You have to face it, and I’m not going to let you do it alone. If that means we argue, then so be it. But I’m not walking away.”

You looked away, biting your lip to keep the frustration at bay. “Maybe you should. Maybe it would be easier for both of us.”

“Easier? For who?” he challenged but you couldn’t answer him anymore.

You didn’t have the strength to fight. You sighed. “Can you get me home or not?”

He ran his hands through his buzzcut and nodded. “You’re not gonna say goodbye to everyone?” You shook your head, not wanting to get back in there and look at them staring at you. “Alright… get in the car, then.”

You climbed into the passenger seat, the cool leather sticking to your damp clothes. Rafe slipped in beside you, his jaw set, hands gripping the wheel. Neither of you said a word, the silence thick and uncomfortable, each of you lost in your own thoughts. You stared out the window, watching the raindrops race each other down the glass, trying to focus on anything other than the weight of the tension that hung between you.

Your heart was still pounding, the adrenaline from the confrontation lingering in your veins. You could feel the shame gnawing at you, the humiliation settling into a deep, aching hollow inside you. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Rafe shifting in his seat, glancing at you every so often, his mouth twitching as if he wanted to say something. But he kept quiet, his gaze fixed on the rain-soaked road ahead. His fingers tapped against the steering wheel, a small, nervous rhythm that betrayed the stillness in the car.

The silence was suffocating, heavy with words unsaid. You could feel the questions he wanted to ask, the concern he held back, but he didn’t press. Part of you appreciated it, yet another part of you wished he would just break the silence, say something to shatter this unbearable quiet.

You stole a glance at him, his brow furrowed, jaw clenched. He was clearly wrestling with something, struggling between respecting your need for space and his own instinct to reach out. But his restraint made everything feel even more surreal, like the two of you were strangers again, pretending not to know each other’s pain.

Eventually, you wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling the chill of your damp clothes seep into your skin.

When he pulled up in front of your apartment building, he kept the engine running, his hands still gripping the wheel tightly. He didn’t make any move to get out or say goodbye. He just sat there, glancing out the window before looking back at you, his lips parting slightly as if he might finally say something.

With a quiet sigh, you pushed the door open, stepping out into the drizzle that had softened into a gentle mist. The cold bit into your skin, but you barely noticed. You closed the door behind you, barely looking back, willing yourself not to dwell on the weight of his stare as you turned toward the entrance of your building—but you paused, feeling a pang of dread at the thought of stepping into your apartment alone. The quiet and emptiness that usually felt like a sanctuary now seemed suffocating. You hesitated, glancing back at the car where Rafe still sat, staring out into the rain.

Before you could second-guess yourself, you turned back and walked toward him, knocking gently on his window. He looked up, a mixture of surprise and uncertainty crossing his face as he rolled the window down. The awkwardness was palpable, hanging between you like a fragile thread.

“Do you… want to come up?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just—I just don’t feel like being alone right now.” You glanced away, feeling vulnerable, exposed. This wasn’t easy to admit, especially not to him.

Rafe blinked, clearly caught off guard. He hesitated, the tension in his posture softening as he considered your request. “Uh, yeah… sure,” he replied, though there was a touch of awkwardness in his voice, like he wasn’t sure he was the right person for this. Still, he killed the engine and got out of the car, following you toward the entrance.

Inside the building, you moved wordlessly up the stairs together, the elevator’s light out as usual. The quiet between you was no longer charged with unspoken tension but instead carried a strange, subdued calm. Each step felt heavier, and you could feel his presence just a few inches behind you, grounding you in a way that felt strangely comforting.

When you finally reached your door, you unlocked it and stepped inside, flicking on a dim light that bathed the space in a warm, muted glow. Rafe followed, taking in the familiar yet intimate details of your apartment as he shrugged off his jacket. He looked unsure, like he didn’t quite know where to stand or what to say, so he hovered near the doorway.

You offered him a small, grateful smile and gestured toward the couch. “You can sit, if you want. I’ll make some tea or something,” you mumbled, moving toward the kitchen before he could respond. The warmth of your apartment slowly started to chip away at the lingering chill from the rain outside, and you felt a hint of comfort beginning to settle in.

When you returned with two mugs, Rafe had taken a seat on the couch, his gaze still wandering around the room, perhaps more at ease now. He accepted the tea with a quiet “thanks,” and you sat beside him, the silence stretching out once more, but this time it didn’t feel as heavy. 

You can feel the heat radiating from his body, close enough that your knees almost touch, and every so often, your eyes meet and then dart away, a faint spark igniting each time.

It’s you who finally breaks the voice, your voice soft. “I’m going to change. I can… One of my friends’ left his clothes there, I can give them to you, if you want?”

Rafe looked up from his mug, his expression caught between surprise and a hesitant relief. “Yeah, that’d be… that’d be great,” he replied, glancing down at his damp clothes, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

You rose from the couch, moving to your room to dig through the small pile of clothes left behind from friends. Finding an oversized hoodie and some sweatpants, you returned and handed them to him, offering a half-smile. “They might be a little big, but better than wet clothes.”

He nodded, accepting them with a quiet “Thanks,” and stepped into the bathroom to change. The moment he was out of sight, you took a deep breath, feeling the quiet around you settle into something both calm and unfamiliar, his presence somehow easing the edges of your earlier anxiety. You wrapped your arms around yourself, still shaken by everything that had happened, but also oddly comforted by knowing you weren’t alone tonight.

When he emerged, dressed in the loose-fitting hoodie and sweats, he looked different—more relaxed, less guarded. He took a tentative step back into the living room, running a hand through his damp hair as he caught your eye, almost sheepish.

You managed a faint smile, gesturing to the couch again, and he sank down beside you. He set his mug on the table, his fingers fidgeting slightly before he leaned back, settling in.

“Well, I... I’ll just go change. Make yourself comfortable,” you said, your voice soft but inviting. Leaving Rafe in the living room, you headed to your bedroom, slipping into a comfortable black tank top and a pair of Hello Kitty pajama pants—the ones Nina, your agent, gifted you when you’d first arrived in the U.S. They were worn in with memories, each time you wore them a reminder of how far you’d come. You removed your makeup and pulled your hair into a ponytail, feeling lighter and more yourself.

When you reemerged, you noticed Rafe standing in the hallway, intently studying a small collection of photos you had on the wall. You approached him quietly, noticing that he was particularly focused on a picture of you from when you were nineteen, dressed in a deep green saree at a friend’s wedding in the States. You were surrounded by your group of friends, all of you smiling.

“You looked beautiful,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as though speaking louder might disturb something precious in the moment.

“Thank you…” you murmured, feeling a soft warmth rise in your cheeks. You glanced back at the photo, remembering how special that day was. “I really like this one. I’d just arrived here and didn’t know many people yet. Then a few friends invited me to the wedding, and I felt... confident, you know? Like I could start fresh here. And wearing a saree again just felt like home—the color, everything... It was my first time going to a wedding here.”

“And how did it feel?” he asked, genuinely curious.

You let out a small laugh, recalling the night. “It was just like back home, only better in some ways. No one really knew who I was, so I didn’t have any aunties critiquing me. Though they did make sure I had enough food to last a week,” you chuckled, a smile playing at the corner of your lips. The memory was comforting, a reminder of the warmth that had welcomed you into this new life.

“The color suits you,” he said, his eyes still lingering on the photo before meeting yours with a hint of a smile.

“You sure you’re not only saying that because it’s your favorite co—”

Before you could finish your phrase, he closed the space between you, his hands finding your face as he pulled you into a rough, heated kiss. His lips crashed against yours with a passion that caught you completely off guard, leaving you breathless, swept up in the sudden intensity of his need.

When he finally pulled back, your pulse was racing, and you stared at him, dazed. “Why… why did you kiss me?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper, still trying to catch your breath.

A slow smirk spread across his face as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “I wanted to know what you tasted like… again,” he murmured, his voice thick with a teasing confidence that made your cheeks flush.

You swallowed, still feeling the lingering heat of his lips. “And what do I taste like?”

He studied your lips for a moment, then met your gaze with a dangerous glint. “Come il mio,” he said softly in Italian, his words like a promise before his mouth captured yours again, this time slower but just as consuming.

Without breaking the kiss, he guided you back into the living room, his hands firm as they slid around your waist, drawing you close. He lowered you onto the sofa, his lips moving from your mouth to trace a path down the curve of your neck, igniting your skin with each graze of his mouth. His hand slipped to the small of your back, pressing you deeper into the cushions as he continued kissing you, his breath warm against your skin, leaving you dizzy and yearning for more.

You moaned softly when he kissed and sucked the curve just below your collarbone. His lips pressed firmly against your skin, his mouth hot and possessive. The gentle graze of his teeth sent a jolt of desire through you, leaving you breathless and wanting for more. He lingered there, sucking and kissing with a fervor that made you ache for him, making you grind against him unconsciously.

“That’s going to show, Cameron,” you tried to scold him, breathless, feeling both exposed and exhilarated as he moved lower, tracing the outline of your neck.

A wicked smile curled at the corners of his lips, his breath warm against your skin as he murmured, “Good. I want everyone to know.” The rasp of his voice, thick with desire, made your insides flutter as he leaned in closer, his mouth capturing the tender skin just below your ear. 

He pulled back slightly, his eyes dark and hungry as they roamed over you. Your flushed skin, your red and pulped lips, and your hard nipples. He was admiring the evidence of his claim. The look in his gaze made your pulse quicken, both thrilling and intoxicating, as if he were savoring the sight of you beneath him.

“Shit! You look perfect like this,” he murmured, his thumb brushing over one of the marks he’d left behind. The softness of his touch contrasted sharply with the heat pooling in your core, making you feel both cherished and utterly desired. “Like you belong to me.”

You sat up abruptly, a surge of confidence washing over you as you peeled off your top, revealing your bare breasts to the air without a hint of shame. Maybe it was the way his eyes roamed over you, filled with wonder and desire, as if you were the most beautiful sight he had ever encountered. Or perhaps it was the intoxicating buzz of alcohol still coursing through your veins, amplifying your boldness.

Either way, you didn't care.

“I’m the luckiest motherfucker on earth,” he muttered to himself, his voice low and awestruck, before sinking back onto the sofa, his lips finding your skin with fervor. His mouth was like fire against your breasts as he sucked and kissed, igniting a wild heat within you. You threaded your fingers through his closely cropped hair, tugging gently as you lost yourself in the pleasure of his touch. His tongue flicked against your nipple, sending delicious shivers coursing through your body, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you had gone so long without him.

As his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of your pants, your breath hitched with anticipation. His hand glided up your thighs, tantalizingly close to where you needed him most. “Rafe…” you breathed, your voice trembling with longing. “Please…”

“Please what?” he challenged, his tone teasing but laced with desire. “Tell me what you need, baby.”

“Just… touch me. I want you to touch me,” you moaned, your hips instinctively rolling against his hard cock-straining against the fabric of the sweatpants you gave him.

“Touch you where?”

His playful question sent a spark of frustration through you, and instead of answering verbally, you guided his hand, placing it firmly on your pussy. “Here. Touch me here. Please…”

In an instant, your pajama pants were gone, discarded like the inhibitions that had held you back. He kissed his way down your stomach, trailing hot kisses over the fabric of your panties, before moving to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. A shiver ran down your spine, and you couldn’t resist glancing down at him, but something tugged at your thoughts. You called out his name, your voice breathy.

“Yes, baby?” he replied, looking up with hunger.

“Take it off.” You pointed at his shirt, and without hesitation, he stripped it off in one smooth motion, revealing his chiseled torso. He climbed over you, his body hovering just above yours, radiating warmth and strength. You couldn’t help but reach out, exploring his body—his hair, his lips, his broad chest, and the defined muscles of his abs.

With a sudden intensity, he kissed you again, their lips melding together as if they were made for one another. But after a moment that felt too short, he pulled away and descended between your legs once more.

Just the image of him between your legs could make you come.

“God, I want to taste you,” he groaned, his fingers touching your clit through your panties. “Tell me, pretty, do you want me to taste you?”

You nodded.

“Words, baby.”

“I do,” you moaned, your nails digging into his shoulders as you wrapped your legs around him. “I want you so fucking much, gosh!”

As the heat in the room swelled, just when you thought Rafe would finally remove your underwear, he suddenly stopped. His hands ran frantically through his hair as he began to pace around your living room, his agitation palpable. Confusion washed over you, your brow furrowing in concern as you sat up.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “Rafe, please talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I can’t do it,” he said, shaking his head, the anguish in his eyes cutting through the atmosphere like a knife. “I can’t do this—”

“Do what? What are you talking about?” Panic tightened your chest as you searched his face for answers.

“Have sex with you,” he finally admitted, his gaze finally locking onto yours. “I can’t have sex with you, Y/N.”

The world around you faded, and a cold wave of vulnerability crashed over you, leaving you feeling exposed and raw. Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes as you scrambled to grab your black top from the floor, pulling it over your head, a desperate attempt to cover not just your body but the aching hurt in your heart. “Wha… why? Why can’t you? We were doing so well… I thought it was good.”

Rafe stepped closer, his expression softening but shadowed with pain. He cupped your cheeks in his warm hands, but instead of comfort, it felt worsel. His eyes shimmered with unshed tears as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, as if he were trying to transfer some of his strength to you. But then, he turned and walked toward the hallway to put on his shoes, and the ache in your chest grew.

You couldn’t let him leave like this. Panic surged through you as you sprang to your feet, rushing to the door to block his path. “Tell me why,” you insisted, your voice cracking as you wiped away the tears that had begun to fall.

“Y/N, you’re drunk…”

“So are you! You’re tipsy!” you threw your arms up in frustration. “Why does that matter? I want you. You want me—”

“Because I don’t want you to regret it,” he said, his voice breaking as if the words were tearing him apart. He sighed deeply, the weight of his decision hanging heavy between you. “I don’t want you to hate yourself when you wake up in the morning because you slept with me.”

“That’s not going to happen, Rafe. Please don’t leave. Stay here with me—we don’t have to do anything,” you pleaded, desperation dripping from your every word. 

But his mind was made up. He leaned in, brushing his lips softly against yours one last time, a sweet farewell filled with unspoken emotions. As he asked you to step aside, you felt a piece of your heart crack. You moved reluctantly, watching as he walked toward the elevator, each step echoing in your mind like a countdown to the end.

Just before the doors closed, he turned back, his expression a mixture of regret and sorrow that mirrored your own. “I am sorry, sweetheart.”

And then he was gone.

Since then, you haven't heard from him in two weeks.

chapter six

[capuccinodoll]

Honey love, dark eyes

♡ Chapter five ♡

Summary: At the Halloween party, you have fun and finally get Joel out of your head. Sure, at least for a few hours, as the night plays a trick on you. WC: 6.1k A/N: Hi! As the tag list has gotten so big (THANK U OMG!!!) and apparently doesn't work too well, I'm not going to use it anymore. From now on, I'll be posting updates through my updates blog! So make sure to follow and turn on notifications <3 love youuu

Saturday, 7 p.m. The evening air carried a quiet sharpness that pricked at the edges of your skin, cool enough to remind you that autumn was in full swing but not so bitter as to warrant more than your tights and boots. You stepped out, the white dress flowing lightly against your thighs, its flared sleeves brushing your arms as you moved. The dark brown corset at your waist felt like a reassuring hand, grounding you, while its lift brought a confidence that hummed softly under your skin. Your boots, stretched to your knees, a quiet defense against the chill creeping in with the fading sunlight.

The door clicked shut behind you, a sound that was at once final and fleeting. You barely had time to register the weight of the evening when the low rumble of Joel’s truck snuck into the quiet, its approach measured, deliberate. You turned, instinctively, just as he stepped out. His movements were unhurried, his gaze low, as though he hadn’t seen you—or as though he was choosing not to. 

The passenger door opened next, and Sarah emerged like a burst of energy, her grin wide and unguarded. She spotted you immediately, her excitement spilling over as she called your name and hurried toward you, her arms flung wide. You caught her easily, her warmth a stark contrast to the crisp air. 

“Where are you going?” she asked, her voice full of a curiosity that felt almost reverent. “You look beautiful.”

You smiled at her, taking in the mismatched charm of her outfit—fluffy bunny slippers peeking out beneath purple pajama pants patterned with white clouds, her coat barely concealing the dark blue long-sleeve shirt underneath. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m going to a Halloween party.”

Sarah pulled back slightly, her brow furrowing in confusion. “But Halloween was last night. It’s November.”

You laughed softly, the sound slipping past your lips like something you hadn’t meant to reveal. “It’s never too late for a party, is it?”

Before Sarah could reply, Joel’s voice cut through the moment like a taut string snapping.

“Sarah. Home.” His tone was firm, unmistakable, though his face only lingered in the doorway for a second before disappearing inside.

Sarah ignored him with the practiced ease of someone who knew how far she could stretch the tether.

“I hope you saved me something good yesterday,” she said, turning back to you, her eyes alight with the thought of treats.

You smiled, brushing a loose strand of her hair aside. “I’m sure Brenda sent some sweets with your dad.”

“Did she make those cara—”

“Sarah.” Joel’s voice rose again, sharper this time, slicing through her sentence. His figure reappeared in the doorway, framed by the warm light spilling out behind him. His gaze landed on her first, then shifted briefly to you, his frown deepening as if your presence was an unwelcome interruption.

“Home,” he said again, the word heavier this time, a command that carried no room for negotiation.

Sarah turned toward him, her annoyance barely concealed.

“In a second!” she called back, her voice tinged with exasperation. Then, with a glance at you, she rolled her eyes dramatically. You couldn’t help but grin, mirroring her expression in a conspiratorial gesture that only seemed to deepen Joel’s scowl.

“NOW,” he barked, his patience finally unraveling. His presence filled the doorway like a storm cloud, and Sarah, sighing, gave in. 

“Go,” you told her gently, resting a hand on her shoulder. Your voice was quiet, steady, though something in your chest tightened as you spoke. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

She nodded, the mischief in her smile dimmed slightly by the weight of her father’s insistence. As she retreated, her steps slow and deliberate, you stayed where you were, watching until the door closed behind her. The ache was subtle but sharp.

You shook the thought from your mind, forcing yourself to let go of the tension Joel's mood had wrapped around you. He wasn’t going to ruin this night—not this one. You tightened your grip on your small purse and started walking toward Travis’s house. Your boots clicked against the pavement with a rhythm that felt too steady for the fluttering nerves you carried.

There was a faint nervousness bubbling under your excitement, a ridiculous thing, really, given that you’d seen Travis just that morning. He’d picked you up to go shopping, laughing at your indecision as you flitted from one idea to the next, caught between wanting something outrageous and something simple. You hadn’t known what to wear for tonight. All you knew was that you wanted to feel good. Pretty, yes. Sexy, definitely. Attractive, for sure. Something about the promise of the evening—the energy it held—made you crave a night where you didn’t have to think too hard, didn’t have to manage the weight of anything heavy. Just a night of effortless fun in good company. 

Travis was exactly the kind of company you needed. Relaxed, thoughtful in that easy way, funny without trying too hard. He knew how to take care of you without making it feel like a burden. When you’d asked for his opinion on a costume, exasperated after hours of fruitless searching, he’d picked up the white dress with an almost boyish confidence. “Victorian pirate,” he’d said with a grin, as if the idea had struck him in the moment. “Or something like that.”

You’d agreed without much thought. The dress was beautiful, and you already had the perfect corset at home to pair it with. It hugged you in all the right places, cinching your waist while lifting your chest just enough to make you feel like the women in those romantic paintings you loved—the ones with soft, curved bodies draped in gauzy fabrics, their skin glowing and inviting. And tonight, you did. The tights and knee-high boots you’d added were practical for the cool night, but they didn’t detract from the overall effect. If anything, they completed it. On the other hand, the corset hugged you the way you imagined the painter’s brush might.

By the time you reached Travis’s door, you felt confident, maybe even a little giddy. You rang the doorbell, the sound breaking the quiet night, and it wasn’t long before the door swung open. Travis stood there, framed by the soft light spilling from his hallway. He looked... well, like something you wouldn’t hesitate to sink your teeth into.

The suit, perfectly tailored, a sharp black with a red tie that caught the light against the pale blue of his shirt. The clear raincoat gave him an edge, its plastic sheen catching and refracting the soft glow from the house behind him. His hair was combed back, deliberate and smooth, and the clench of his jaw softened when he smiled at you.

“What do you think?” he asked, lifting a hand to reveal a plastic axe held loosely in his grip. “I’m Patrick Bateman.”

You laughed, the sound bubbling up from somewhere easy and warm.

“Of course you’re Patrick Bateman,” you said, your smile widening as you stepped inside. Your hand brushed his abdomen lightly as you passed, a touch that felt both casual and charged.

The compliment landed, making Travis pause just long enough to tuck the axe into the pocket of his raincoat. He moved toward you, closing the space between you with an ease that always felt natural. His hand settled at your waist, the leather of your corset soft beneath his fingers.

“Stop it,” he said, his voice low and teasing as he leaned in close. “Telling me that and looking this good? Stop it, or I’ll cancel the party and keep you here all night.”

His breath skimmed the edge of your ear, his lips brushing your jawline just enough to leave your skin prickling with anticipation.

“One compliment and you’re ready to throw the whole night away?” you teased, though the slight rasp in your voice betrayed how his closeness was affecting you. You felt his breath near your ear, the briefest graze of his nose against your skin, his lips brushing your jaw. Your pulse quickened. “You’re an easy target, Dunn.”

He chuckled, the sound soft and warm. “Only for you,” he said, his gaze meeting yours. There was something unguarded in his eyes, something that made the moment feel fragile in a way that was achingly sweet. “But don’t tell anyone. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

You laughed, leaning into the playful intimacy of it all. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

His lips found yours then, the kiss gentle at first, like he was testing the waters. You leaned in instinctively, wanting more, but before you could deepen it, he pulled away. You bit back a groan of frustration as he grinned, oblivious.

“We’d better go, beautiful,” he said, brushing a hand down your arm as if to soothe you. “People are waiting.”

You sighed, shaking your head with a smile. With Travis, things were always easy—except, maybe, when you wanted just a little more.

*

2 a.m. The cab door slammed shut with more force than you intended, the sound reverberating in the quiet street. The driver turned sharply, scowling.  

“I-I’m sorry,” you muttered, your words tumbling over each other.  

Travis, a few steps ahead, laughed without looking back, his shoulders shaking slightly. His keys jingled as he fumbled to unlock the door to his townhouse. The sound dragged on endlessly, the alcohol in your veins making the small delay feel monumental. You stood beside him, shifting your weight from one aching foot to the other, the dull throb only partially numbed by the buzz in your head.  

“Almost got it,” Travis mumbled, his focus unwavering despite your impatient sighs. Finally, the lock clicked, and he pushed the door open with a triumphant grin.  

You followed him inside, the warmth of his home enveloping you like a soft blanket. Without ceremony, you dropped onto his couch, sinking into its cushions with a relieved groan. Your head lolled back, your body both exhausted and energized, the kind of tension only a night like this could create.  

The evening had been perfect—better than perfect, really. For the first time in months, you’d felt free, truly free, as though the weight of everything that had been haunting you had dissolved into the dark, wine-colored sky.  

The party had been at Renzo’s house, one of Travis’s oldest friends. The place was stunning, a sprawling Mediterranean-style villa that practically glowed against the night. Its white stone façade, crowned with red tiles, looked like it had been plucked from a postcard, while spooky Halloween details added just the right touch of whimsy. Lanterns swayed gently on the porch, casting flickering shadows across life-sized skeletons perched on wicker chairs.  

Inside, the atmosphere was even more enchanting. The main room featured a long wooden table draped in black lace, adorned with candelabras dripping wax, decorative skulls, and bouquets of dried flowers that looked both macabre and elegant. Ceramic plates with dark patterns and gold accents glinted in the candlelight, completing the eerie tableau. Guests milled about in costumes that ranged from impressive to ridiculous, every outfit telling a story.  

You’d met a handful of Travis’s friends, all nice and welcoming. And by the end of the night, Renzo handed out an award for the best costume, which went to his brother Eric for his incredible The Mask ensemble. The details were so perfect, from the prosthetic teeth to the vivid green makeup, that no one could deny it was well-deserved—except Travis, who jokingly accused him of rigging the vote.  

The drinks flowed freely, and you’d had more than enough. By past midnight, your feet ached from dancing, but you didn’t care. The music pulsed, and so did you, your body pressed close to Travis’s. His hands rested on your waist, his touch grounding and electric all at once. For the first time in weeks, your thoughts didn’t drift to the things that usually kept you awake at night. Those dark eyes that haunted you in quiet moments, the ache that twisted your chest when you remembered what you’d tried to forget—they were nowhere to be found.  

Now, on Travis’s couch, you laughed uncontrollably as he struggled to string together a coherent sentence. His head rested lightly against your shoulder, and the sound of his voice, slurred and boyish, made your stomach ache with affection.  

“Whatever, you get what i mean” he said finally, throwing his hands up in mock defeat. “God, I shouldn't have had that last drink.”

“Oh, you’re terrible,” you teased, reaching for his tie and pulling him toward you until his eyes met yours. “But I had a beautiful night. Please, let’s make it last.”  

Something shifted in his expression—softened, deepened. He straightened, cupping your face as his lips crashed into yours. The kiss was different from anything you’d shared before. It wasn’t cautious or measured, the way Travis usually was. This was eager, unrestrained, his mouth moving against yours like he’d been holding himself back for far too long.  

His hands found your legs, lifting them over his lap as he leaned into you. You fell back against the cushions, his weight pressing into you just enough to make your breath hitch. His lips left yours to trail along your neck, leaving a path of heat that made your chest rise and fall unevenly.  

Your fingers tangled in his hair, undoing the careful style he’d worn all evening. He groaned softly at the contact, his face lifting to meet yours again as he kissed you harder, his desire palpable and infectious.  

Your hands moved down to his belt, fumbling with the buckle in a blur of anticipation and urgency. The sound of the clasp coming undone was like a victory bell ringing in your ears.  

But then, suddenly, he froze.  

“Shit,” he muttered, his voice strained as he pulled away, turning his face to the side. “Shit, I’m gonna be sick.”  

You blinked, startled, as he scrambled off the couch and hurried toward the stairs.  

For a moment, you just sat there, propped up on your elbows, your breath coming in uneven bursts. The absurdity of the situation hit you like a wave, and despite yourself, you let out a laugh.

The moment you stood up, your feet wobbled beneath you, betraying the steadiness you were trying to project. The stairs seemed endless, each step doubling before your eyes as if the staircase were playing tricks on you. You gripped the banister tightly, willing yourself not to topple over. The vodka shots coursing through your veins made everything feel both distant and intensely vivid, the sensation disorienting but oddly comforting.  

When you finally reached the bathroom, the door was slightly ajar, the light spilling out in soft, pale streaks. Inside, Travis was hunched over the toilet, his body curled into itself, his face ghostly pale.  

“Oh,” you said softly, unsure what else to offer in the way of comfort. You moved closer, your hand instinctively finding the back of his neck, your fingers brushing the damp hair sticking to his skin. His vulnerability struck something tender in you.  

The sour smell hit you immediately, sharp and invasive, making your stomach churn in protest. But you swallowed hard, forcing yourself to focus on Travis, on the fragility of the moment.  

He groaned softly as his body shuddered, expelling the last traces of that ill-fated drink—the electric blue cocktail he’d downed with so much confidence earlier. You grimaced at the sight but stayed, stroking his back in slow, soothing circles until the worst had passed.  

When he leaned back against the tiled wall, his face glistening with sweat, you reached out to flush the toilet, closing the lid with a gentle finality.  

“God,” he croaked, his voice thin and hoarse. “I’ve ruined it, haven’t I?”  

You laughed lightly, kneeling in front of him, your head tilting as you studied his expression. There was a defeated sort of charm in the way he looked at you, his eyes half-lidded, his usual confidence dimmed by the night’s chaos.  

“Not at all,” you replied, your words softened by the alcohol still fogging your mind. Your hand came to rest on his knee, a quiet reassurance. “Tonight’s been perfect.”  

Travis groaned, letting his head loll back against the wall. “My reputation’s in shambles. Now my pretty neighbor thinks I’m a mess.”  

You laughed again, louder this time, your inhibitions dulled enough to find his self-pity endearing. “You think I’m pretty?”  

His eyes stayed closed, but his lips curved into a smile, lazy and unguarded. “Are you kidding? No wonder Joel Miller hates me.”  

Your laugh faltered, the name cutting through the haze of the night like a blade. You blinked slowly, leaning your head against his knee, letting out a sigh that felt too heavy for the moment.  

“Oh, man,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “Why did you have to bring him up?”  

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Travis said quickly, his hand falling clumsily to your back. “Now I’ve really screwed up, haven’t I? I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but I pre—”  

“Stop,” you cut him off, your voice quiet but firm. You lifted your head to meet his gaze, his curious eyes watching you closely now. “Are you feeling better?”  

“Much better,” he said, offering a small, sheepish smile.  

You pushed yourself to your feet, leaning against the sink for balance. He followed your movements, standing slowly and steadying himself with a hand against the wall. Without a word, you leaned your head against his arm, closing your eyes as you listened to the soft rhythm of his breathing.  

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, suspended in the quiet warmth of the moment, but eventually, Travis stirred. He touched your shoulder gently, his other hand extended to help you up.  

Downstairs, you collapsed onto the couch again, the effort of descending the stairs leaving you slightly breathless. Travis returned with a glass of water, holding it out with a knowing look.  

“Drink,” he said simply.  

You obeyed reluctantly, grimacing as you took a few sips. “I’m going to have a huge hangover tomorrow,” you muttered, setting the glass on the coffee table.  

“Me too,” Travis admitted, lying down beside you with a heavy sigh.  

You glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s only three in the morning?” you said, your voice tinged with disbelief. “God, I’m old.”  

Travis laughed, his grin lopsided and a little drunk. “I swear I thought it was, like, like five in the morning.”  

You chuckled, but the weight of the night was catching up with you. Your eyes drifted shut, and the world faded into a soft blur.  

When you forced them open again, sometime later, Travis was fast asleep beside you, his breathing slow and even. You sat up, careful not to disturb him, and gently shook his forearm.  

“Hey,” you whispered. “I’m going home.”  

He mumbled something incoherent, his eyes fluttering but refusing to open.

“L-let me walk you home,” he slurred, his head tilting to the side as sleep reclaimed him.  

You smiled at the sight of him, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

“See ya,” you whispered, the words hanging in the air as you let yourself out.

The cool night air greeted you with a sharpness that cut through the haze of alcohol still coursing through your system. It startled you, a shiver running up your spine as you wrapped your arms tighter around yourself. You were still drunk, but the world felt steadier now, your feet moving carefully across the pavement as you crossed the quiet street.

In your mind, you conjured the image of your warm bed waiting for you, the soft embrace of your pajamas, and maybe, if you could muster the energy, the luxury of a hot shower. The thought made your body ache for rest, but then you noticed the soreness in your face—a dull reminder of the unrelenting smile you’d worn since you’d said goodbye to Travis.

You were happy. Light. Effervescent, even. The kind of happiness that made you feel untouchable, like nothing could weigh you down.

That feeling lingered as you approached your house, though it faltered slightly when you passed by the Millers’ place. Your eyes were drawn, almost involuntarily, to the living room window. A soft, warm light glowed behind the half-transparent curtains, the kind that could only come from a solitary lamp left on too late. You slowed your steps, your gaze lingering as the sharp memory of Joel’s voice from earlier that evening surfaced.

Authoritative. Abrupt. Unbearable.

The way he’d called Sarah home felt unnecessary, almost punitive. Why had he insisted so forcefully? He didn’t usually mind her spending time with you, so why now? And what if things between you and Joel had soured to the point where he forbade Sarah from seeing you altogether? The thought stung, a sharp contrast to the Joel you used to know—the one who would never have done something like that. You hated that you couldn’t anticipate him anymore. And lately, it seemed like everything about him had shifted, like you were seeing a stranger instead of the man you’d once—

“Are you okay?”

The voice, low and steady, cut through your thoughts, making you jump. You looked up sharply, your heart skipping as your eyes adjusted to the dark porch. Joel was sitting there, barely visible except for the faint gleam of the streetlights reflecting in his eyes like stars as he watched you, his expression unreadable, the faintest hint of concern etched into his features.

You didn’t respond right away. Your brain was scrambling, trying to piece together an answer while simultaneously processing the sight of him. He stood then, stepping into the light just enough for you to see him more clearly—the broad set of his shoulders, the slight furrow in his brow, 

“What... what are you doing here?” you managed finally, your voice wavering slightly.

“Here?” he repeated, the corners of his mouth twitching in what could have been a smile. “I live here. What are you doing here?”

“I live next door,” you shot back, your tone almost defensive. You tilted your head, studying him more closely. “I meant out here. What are you doing outside? It’s late.”

Joel hesitated, his hand brushing the back of his neck in a way that told you he wasn’t going to give you a straight answer. And of course he wouldn't tell you that he'd spent the evening on his couch watching TV, alone, or that he’d been restless all evening.

After having dinner with Sarah, she'd retreated to her room—furious with him for cutting her time with you short—he’d spent the better part of the night sitting on his couch, half-watching some mindless TV show, his attention divided between the screen and the window. Waiting. Then, just as he was beginning to close his eyes, a sharp knock woke him up; the cab door. But of course, he didn't get to see the yellow car because when he got to the window, he only got to make out your body coming through Travis' door, cab long gone. 

When you disappeared inside Travis house, something inside him twisted. Restlessness turned into something heavier, something he couldn’t name, and the next thing he knew, he was on the porch with a beer in his hand, staring out into the night like the answer might appear if he stayed long enough.

“It’s Saturday,” he said finally, his voice calm, almost teasing. “Well, Sunday now.”

You nodded absently, but your eyes betrayed you, roaming over him without restraint. It had been a while since you’d let yourself really look at him. Lately, every glance had been fleeting, clouded with irritation or anger. But now, in the quiet glow of the streetlights, there was no denying it.

He was beautiful. Infuriatingly, achingly beautiful.

Your stomach twisted with the realization, the way it always did when you thought about him for too long. You could try to distract yourself with Travis, with his boyish charm and kind eyes, but it wasn't enough. 

Travis didn’t have those dark, fathomless eyes that seemed to hold every one of your secrets. He didn’t have that nose you loved so much or the lips you’d tasted once and could never forget. His voice wasn’t rough and silken all at once, nor did it carry the weight of every word like Joel’s did.

You hated how much you liked him, how much you wanted him. It was uncomfortable, unbearable, because there was nothing you could do about it. Joel was untouchable now, a door that had been closed and locked a month ago.

“I hate you, Joel,” you said suddenly, the words spilling out before you could stop them. They weren’t loud, but they were steady, deliberate.

His smile faded, replaced by a quiet, thoughtful expression. He nodded slightly, as if weighing your words.

“Do you?” he asked, his voice level, his eyes searching yours.

You smiled faintly, almost amused by the softness in his tone. You shifted your weight, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Do you care about it?”

“Of course I do,” he said, his voice dipping lower with honesty. “But I know it’s not true.”

"Why do you always say that?" you demanded, voice thick with frustration, your arms crossed so tightly against your chest it felt like you might bruise your own ribs. The alcohol in your bloodstream turned every word into a dare, every thought into an accusation. "'I know it's not true. I know you're lying. I know you don't mean it'. What, are you like this omniscient, all-knowing shit—blah, blah, blah?. Didn't it ever occur to you that maybe you don't know anything at all?"

Joel’s eyes softened, his expression unreadable but intent. His hands stayed buried in his pockets, steady while you felt like you were spinning out of control.

"Lately? Yeah," he said finally, his voice low. "I don’t know anything."

The simplicity of his confession, the quiet honesty of it, made you snort in disbelief. You turned your head to the side, looking anywhere but at him, biting the inside of your cheek to keep your thoughts from spilling out unchecked. When you looked back, his eyes weren’t on your face anymore. They’d dropped lower, lingering somewhere around your waist. Probably on your corset, you realized. Suddenly, the fabric felt suffocating. Not painfully tight, but enough to make you aware of every breath you took.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, tone sharp, defensive. And when he didn’t answer, you pressed harder. “What do you want, Joel?”

“Me?” he asked, his voice calm, almost indifferent.

You nodded, daring him to answer.

“I don’t know.” His lips tilted in a faint smirk. “You’re the one standing here in my doorway. Weren’t you just peeking in my window?”

Your mouth fell open. “I wasn’t peeping, dumbass,” you said, fumbling over the words, heat rushing to your face. “I was—”

"Yes, you were," he interrupted smoothly, a trace of a smirk curling at the corner of his mouth. It wasn’t smug, not really, but it wasn’t innocent either.

God, it was infuriating.

"Ugh," you groaned, the sound dragged out like it could physically push him away. Your arms dropped to your sides, and you turned your face skyward, exasperated. "Were you always this much of an asshole?"

Joel held back a laugh, his head shaking slightly as he raised his eyebrows at you, his silence infuriatingly steady.

"Okay," he said finally. "You’re drunk."

"Yeah, Einstein," you shot back, your voice sharp and your eyes wide as you threw your hands in the air in mock applause. "You’re finally right about something! Everyone, let’s hear it for Joel!"

You clapped for him, slow and exaggerated, addressing an invisible audience. Joel glanced down, shoving his hands deeper into his pockets, the ghost of a smile flickering across his face before he hid it.

That didn’t stop the memory from rising, unbidden: Clara, her hand slipping into his at the barbecue, her laugh bright and flirtatious, her eyes shining with self-satisfaction. It had turned your stomach then, and now the bitterness came rushing back in full force.

"Do you think what you’re doing is right, Joel?" you asked, your tone sharper than before, slicing through the fragile quiet between you.

His brows knit together, confused, and he tilted his head slightly as if to ask what you meant.

"Do you think you’re accomplishing anything by sleeping with the women in this neighborhood?" you continued, your words rushing out faster now. "I mean, first you sleep with me—oh, the worst mistake of your life—then you sleep with Clara. And what about Sienna? What does she think of all this? You’re a selfish, irresponsible man, Joel Miller, so irresponsible." The words kept spilling, your voice trembling now, laced with both anger and something softer, something that felt like pain. "And as if that wasn’t enough, you’ve ruined us. Completely. And I hate you for that, Joel. I hate you because you’re not the man I thought you were. And i love you so much I—"

Your gaze dropped to the ground, unable to meet his eyes. The tears welled up before you could stop them, blurring the edges of your vision and leaving your cheeks hot.

You hated how raw it all felt. How exposed. And worse, how the alcohol that had loosened your tongue was no longer numbing enough to shield you from the reality of what you’d just said.

Before you could stop him, Joel’s hands came to rest gently on your arms. The warmth of his touch made your stomach flip, and it took everything in you to pull away.

“No,” you said firmly, shaking him off and turning on your heel. But you barely managed two steps before your foot caught awkwardly in front of the other, sending you stumbling.

You yelped as your palm scraped against the ground, but Joel caught your other arm before you could fully collapse. The heat of embarrassment rushed to your face as you stood quickly, brushing off your dress and refusing to look at him.

You marched toward your door with renewed determination, ignoring the sting in your palm and the sound of his voice calling after you.

“Wait,” he said, his tone softer now, almost pleading. 

But you didn’t stop. Your trembling fingers fumbled with the key, eyes fixed on the lock as if opening the door quickly enough could make him—and everything you’d just said—disappear.

The key slid into the lock on your first try, a stroke of luck you hadn’t expected. You stumbled inside, not bothering to close the door behind you. Maybe it was unconscious, or maybe some buried, foolish part of you wanted him to follow. Whatever the reason, Joel did, shutting the door softly as he stepped in, his footsteps trailing after your clumsy, rushed ascent up the stairs. His hand found your lower back more than once, steadying you whenever your feet betrayed you and your balance faltered.

When you reached your room, his presence pressed down on you, heavy and inescapable. Your chest felt tight, emotions boiling over with an intensity you couldn’t contain. The exhaustion—of everything—clawed at your insides, raw and relentless.

“Fuck you, Joel,” you spat, spinning to face him, your palms colliding with his chest in a sharp slap. The sound echoed between you, loud and angry. You hit him again, this time harder, though he barely moved, only stepping back an inch. “Fuck you. Fuck you. You’re a complete asshole, and I hate you. I hate you so much.” Your fists clenched, pounding against him now, the blows strong but harmless.

Joel didn’t resist. He let your fists land where they would, but then his hands rose, gentle and deliberate, catching your wrists mid-punch. The pressure of his fingers around your forearms was firm but not threatening, as if he was trying to guide the violence out of you without a word.

His stillness broke you more than anything could, and the weight of his quiet left you reeling, unsure of what to say next. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why was he standing there, letting you fall apart?

“Say something!” you cried, your voice cracking, desperate and raw.

But he didn’t. His silence stretched between you, maddening and unbearable.

Your vision blurred as tears spilled over, hot and heavy, the release leaving you shaking. Your sobs filled the room, a sound so guttural it startled even you.

“Why did you have to do this to me?” you demanded, your fists still pressed against his chest, though they no longer moved. Your voice broke entirely now, trembling as you added, “Why do you keep hurting me, Joel, why are you acting like this? What did I do to deserve this from you?”

Joel’s breath hitched, his shoulders sinking as if under the weight of your words. His eyes, glassy and red, shone in the dim light. “I-I’m sorry, I'm sorry” he whispered, his voice rough and uneven. “I’m so sorry. Please… please forgive me. I love you, baby, I love you, I've al—”

“No, you don’t.” You shook your head, your voice trembling as his hands left your wrists and wrapped around you instead, pulling you closer. “You don’t.”

But you didn’t push him away. His arms were warm, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself fall into them. The pain dulled, just slightly, under his touch. You hated him for it. You hated yourself more for letting it happen.

“Yes, I do,” Joel said, his voice thick with emotion.

You wanted to look up, to see his face, to know if the tears in his voice matched the ones burning in your eyes. But you couldn’t bring yourself to. Instead, you buried your face in his chest, inhaling the scent of him, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your cheek.

Gently, he scooped you up and carried you to the bed. He set you down softly, his hands brushing against your arms as he pulled away. You sank back into the pillows, your gaze distant, your sobs quieting into sniffles.

Joel knelt at the edge of the bed, his hands moving to unlace your boots. He didn’t look at you, his focus entirely on the task, but his face betrayed him. His eyes were rimmed red, his cheeks damp, his expression taut with pain.

Once the boots were gone, you lay back fully, staring blankly at the ceiling as the room swayed gently around you. Your head throbbed, and your chest ached, but the tears had slowed, leaving behind only exhaustion.

The mattress shifted behind you as Joel settled in beside you. He kept his distance, but you could feel the heat of him near you, the tension in the air, a palpable thing you didn’t know how to navigate. You could still hear his breathing, steady but strained.

When his fingers brushed your waist, you stiffened.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice breaking softly. “Let me take that off. It can’t be comfortable, right?”

"No," you answered, and as the corset loosened, you felt a wave of relief rush through you, a softness you hadn’t even realized you needed.

Joel moved the corset off your body in one smooth motion, dropping it carelessly to the floor. Then, he returned to his position, inches away, and for a few minutes, there was nothing but silence between you again.

You closed your eyes, the weight of the night pressing against you, the exhaustion dragging you into a dreamless sleep. But just before you drifted off, you heard your own voice, quiet and pleading.

“Please go home, Joel,” you whispered. “I want to be alone."

He didn’t argue, although you could hear him doubting. Then, you felt him shift behind you, his hand brushing your arm briefly in a gesture that felt almost like goodbye.

“Goodnight,” he murmured, his voice so low it was nearly inaudible.

The door clicked shut behind him, and you exhaled deeply, letting the tears come again, though they felt emptier now, less urgent.

Next door, Joel stepped into his house, the quiet suffocating him as he sank into the couch. The air felt too thick, the walls too close. He pressed his hands to his face, trying to keep himself from falling apart, but it was no use. The despair was overwhelming, a mix of regret, shame, and a self-loathing so profound it left him hollow. And he couldn't help thinking that maybe, it was too late after all. No action or word from him could undo the pain he had seen in your eyes that night.

In the quiet of his own mind, he hated himself more than you ever could. 

-

@nobodyssfool @gigistorm @maryfanson @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @cosmic006533-blog @doblasftcisco @maiyart @concrete-jungleeee @playboygirlsnextdoor00 @powellssaturn @kyloispunk @paleidiot @aceaubrianna @liciafonseca @kaolusha @beeboopski @rosebuds-and-moonlight @the-universe-is-complicated @formulafun @chewie-bars @glizzymcguirex @pedroswife69 @ivoryandflame @dixonswingz @sarahhxx03 @mellymbee @dailyobsession @msmorningstaarr @mystickittytaco @xxreginaxx @marellabyr @spacegirl-3 @alrihhty @heheheilovepedro @svrgs-blog @94namkooksworld @puddles221b @cowboymcflurry @medusaandposeidonshead @stylesispunk @sweatpeakarolinaa @puddles221b @deansimpalagirl @jasminedragoon @lover-of-books-and-tea @whimsiwitchy @cuteanimalmama @theherothesavior @ivoryandflame

[ariesangelxo]

mornings - part two

MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI

cw: more angst, still no comfort (i promise it’s coming in the next part), heartbreak, one mention of panic attacks, prescription benzo use, recreational coke use, drinking, arguing, mention of a gun and a gunshot at the end, not proofread lol

an: thank u all SO SO much for all of the love on part one !!! i am blown away and in awe. there also will be a part three for sure <3

part three

the past twenty-six days had not been kind to you. your mornings were spent rotting away in bed until your mom would force you to get up, her expression of concern always made you feel even worse. your days weren’t much better, you forced yourself to detach from your heart and numb your emotions. it was the only way you knew how to keep going. you put on a mask during the day with your parents, giving them occasional smiles and laughs that weren’t the kind that warmed their hearts. they knew you weren’t okay, but they also knew they couldn’t force you to talk about it or you’d shut down completely. your nights consisted of taking a benzodiazepine in order to fall asleep, you couldn’t sleep without them. you tried, it only led to intense panic attacks and hysterical sobs that made your mother’s heart break in front of you.

this morning had been a bit different. you were awakened when you felt a weight in your bed, and in the haze of waking up you initially thought it was rafe. you shot up the moment you remembered everything, eyes widening and heart racing, but you looked over to see sarah in your bed. "oh my god, sarah you scared the hell out of me!" you exclaimed, holding a hand over your chest.

she let out a giggle, "i'm sorry, your mom let me in. i miss you," her tone was gentle. you had become very close with sarah during your relationship with rafe. being over at the cameron's house so often led to a beautiful friendship forming between the two of you. she was like a sister to you, something you cherished deeply as you didn't grow up with a sister.

you felt a pang of guilt in your chest at her words. you knew she missed you, she'd messaged you every single day since your break up without fail, even if you didn't always text back. you had seen her a couple times, but when she asked about what happened, you told her you weren't ready to talk about it. sarah was incredibly understanding, knowing how much you loved her brother and not wanting to push you too far.

"i miss you too, sar. i'm sorry i've been such a shit friend lately." you responded to her. you gave her a small smile, curling up next to her as she sat against your headboard.

"it's okay, i know you're not doing great with everything going on right now," she trailed off with a sad smile, "but, you're going out with me tonight!" she became animated as she spoke.

you didn't have it in your heart to deny her, not when she looked at you like you were the most important person in her world. "you know i can't say no to you. where are we going?" you asked curiously.

"there's going to be a huge party at the boneyard, and you're coming with me. no ifs, ands, or buts." she giggled out, "i need to get you out of your room, you're rotting away in here, babe."

"god, you sound just like my mother," you teased back. "i'll go though, i miss you more than you know. i even miss the pogues a bit." you both laughed, referencing her newer relationship with john b.

you couldn't prevent your curiosity from getting the better of you, "how- how has he been?"

sarah bit her lip, debating internally how much to tell you. "he's been... not great. i don't see him much when i'm home, he's usually in his room with the door shut. he's been a lot more moody too, snapping at literally everyone in the house. it probably didn't help that i told him he's an idiot and he fucked up the best thing to ever happen to him."

you couldn't suppress the laugh that slipped through your lips or the slight satisfaction you felt knowing that you weren't the only one struggling. "i love you sar. thank you." you leaned over, giving her a hug.

"i love you too. now get your ass up and shower. we're getting you a new outfit for the party."

you spent the next few hours strolling through the streets of figure eight with sarah. your arms held multiple shopping bags, filled with clothes she insisted you needed for tonight. you were incredibly grateful that she had forced you out of bed, you actually felt human for the first time since everything happened.

you found yourself in a small cafe, giggling as sarah told you a story from one of her drunken adventures with the pogues.

“you know… you should talk to jj tonight. i know he thinks you’re hot.” sarah gave you a mischievous smile as she wiggled her brows.

“funny,” you rolled your eyes playfully at her, “but it’s way too soon for me to get into anything with anybody right now.”

“i didn’t mean start dating him, i just think you would have fun together.”

“i just- i don’t know, sar. i’ve been such a wreck these past few weeks… can i tell you what happened?” you looked up from your fingers to meet her eyes, now widened with shock.

“yeah, of course you can. but don’t feel like you have to if you don’t want to.”

you were grateful for her support, going into your explanation of how the last couple months of your relationship, rafe’s behavior changed drastically. sarah hung on to your every word, needing to know exactly what led to the end of your relationship.

“and so i walked into the country club to surprise him. i spent the whole morning getting ready, did my makeup how he likes, even wore a new sundress that i know he would have loved. but i walked in and…” you looked up as your vision began to blur, “he was talking with some bitch i’ve never seen before bartending. she had short brunette hair, but he fucking smirked at her the way he only does- did for me. and- and then, she basically fucking held his hand while she fucked him with her eyes, and he let it happen!”

you spit the words out like they were poison on your tongue, not noticing your voice beginning to raise with frustration. sarah’s jaw was nearly on the floor.

“what the- what the fuck?” she racked her brain, trying to remember if she’d seen anyone matching your description recently, but nothing came to her.

“god, shit. i’m so sorry, babe. i don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him.” she attempted to console you as you dabbed your eyes with a napkin.

you shrugged your shoulders, “what’s done is done. i just want to forget about everything for a while.”

she nodded, “then let’s go get ready. we can pregame at yours and ride with john b and them.”

after a few shots, a couple hours spent transforming yourself to not look like you spent the last three weeks trying to cope with your break up, and a lot of laughter, you and sarah were ready to go.

you wore a cropped loosely crocheted white sweater over your pink bikini and a white miniskirt that hugged your hips , the strings from your bottom peaking out from the top of it. you were finally feeling good about yourself again, and you’d be damned if you let anyone ruin it.

the ride to the boneyard only lifted your spirits more. it was impossible not to laugh around the pogues, especially when jj did whatever he could to hear your giggle.

you arrived just as the party was beginning to pick up. relief flooded your veins when you didn’t see rafe anywhere. you knew it was a possibility he’d be here, but it was going to be significantly easier to have a decent night without his presence lingering around.

you filled up a red solo cup at the keg, downing the cheap alcohol before refilling it.

“slow down there, or you might not make it too long.” jj approached you, giving you a flirty smile.

you gave him a laugh in response, “i’ll be fine, jay. i just want to be able to let loose tonight.”

“stick by me then, don’t want any of these pervs creeping on you.” the thinly veiled concern in his voice made you smile. you know he’s flirting, but it’s clear he wants to keep you safe knowing it’s your first night out in so long.

you spent the next hour surrounded by the pogues, and true to his word, jj looked out for you. he did so well that you failed to notice who had shown up to the party, the one and only rafe cameron.

rafe, on the other hand, saw you immediately upon arriving. it was impossible for him not to when your presence demanded his attention. he was not happy to see who you were hanging around with. his ongoing beef with the pogues was well known by everybody on the island. he didn’t come to party though, he had other business to attend to as barry gave him a side eye, “fuck are you doing, country club? you can fight for your girl later, we’ve got shit to do.”

your drink had somehow disappeared. your furrowed your brows as you looked down, giggling to yourself as you told your friends you were going to get another one. you were at the perfect level of drunk, not to the point of blacking out or vomiting, but to where you couldn’t quite walk in a straight line and everything was funny to you.

you stumbled up to the keg, starting to fill up your cup when you felt someone watching you. the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you instantly knew who it was. it was as though there was a chip in you that alerted you to when he was nearby. you took a deep breath as you turned your head slightly, seeing rafe sat next to a man you didn’t know as he handed a small plastic bag filled with overpriced coke to a touron. rafe’s eyes didn’t leave you as he signaled him to leave.

you could hear your heartbeat in your ears, the hand holding onto your cup now trembling and the lump in your throat building. rafe stood, starting to approach you as you froze. your brain was screaming at you to run but your body refused to move an inch.

“what the fuck do you want, cameron?” your words were spat out with venom. your tone clearly surprised you both as he looked shocked momentarily. you were typically one to stand your ground, but never ever was your attitude aimed towards him.

“what do you mean ‘what the fuck do i want’? you fucking up and left out of nowhere and haven’t spoken to me in almost a month.” his voice was filled with anger, his nose flaring as he clenched his jaw.

you let out a humorless laugh, “out of nowhere? you can’t be serious, rafe. you treated me like shit the last few months of our relationship.” you didn’t yet mention seeing his interaction with the bartender at the country club, not knowing if topper and kelce had told him about seeing you when you left that fateful day.

“what? be-because i couldn’t be with you twenty-four fucking seven? like i- i wasn’t out working my ass off to afford nice shit for you?”

“‘working your ass off’ will you stop fucking lying to me? i fucking saw you at the country club,” his facial expression showed confusion, bringing his brows together to try and understand what you were talking about, “you let that bitch touch you, you looked at her how you used to look at me. i spent hours getting ready, i showed up, wanting to surprise my boyfriend for lunch, and what do i see? my boyfriend letting some bartender hang off of him while he flirts with her?”

your voice had raised as you got more and more angry. you were now shouting at him as other partygoers failed to hide their stares and murmuring. nobody ever talked to the kook prince the way you currently were, unless they wanted their face bashed in.

rafe grabbed your arm harshly, pulling you down the beach and away from others. you stumbled behind him, knowing you weren’t physically or mentally strong enough to push him away.

when you looked up at him, you suddenly noticed his blown-out pupils. you felt your heart sink. “you’re using again.” you stated flatly.

he scoffed, rolling his eyes at you. “don’t act like you fucking care.” he spat out at you.

“jesus fucking christ- rafe, when did you start again?”

“don’t worry about it. when did you come to the country club?” his tone was demanding, sparking further irritation in you.

“the day i left. i- i let a lot of shit slide for too long, because… because i wanted to be a good girlfriend and support you when i thought you were just stressed out from work. and, in return, i get to watch my boyfriend make me look like a fucking idiot.”

rafe was silent for a minute, his lips pursed as he clearly was trying to remember what he was doing before he came home to an angry ward and an empty room. then realization hit him, he knew exactly what you were talking about. he brought his palm up to his face, groaning.

when he was about to speak, he was cut off. “is cameron bothering you?” jj’s familiar voice called out. you looked past rafe’s large figure to see all of the pogues standing beside him, looking ready for a fight if it came to it.

rafe gave a humorless chuckle, “stay the fuck out of it, pogue.” he clearly wouldn’t go down without a fight either.

your heart stopped for a moment and your body filled with ice cold terror as jj pulled out a gun that was hidden behind his back in his waistband. it was clear you weren’t the only one not expecting it as the rest of them looked at jj with concern, john b telling him to put it away. “yeah? let’s fucking go, rafe. been itching for a fight for too long.”

everything became blurred. the mixture of shouting, seeing figures suddenly moving towards each other, and the unmistakeable sound of a gunshot, and then everything went black.

[redhead1180]

I see you

Pairing - JJ x fem!reader

Summary - After Y/N, JJ's best friend, has an embarrassing encounter with another guy, JJ finally decides to step up and claim what he wants.

Warnings MDNI - Cursing, embarrassing situation in front of people, oral (m & f receiving), degradation (r degrades self), self-esteem issues, unprotected sex (p in v, wrap before you tap it), creampie, praising

Words - 4.0k

A/N - I don't usually write fluffy smut, but here we are, and I hope you like it. I usually don't describe readers, I want reader to put themselves in the story, but this one is a bit personal. It's kinda autobiographical in it is similar to how my boyfriend and I got together. I NEED to thank @jjxkiaraxpopexcleoxjohnbxsarah for the beautiful moodboard she made for my story. I love u girl ���! Did not get beta read, wanted to get this out since I have had it almost done for a month.

I couldn't stop the tears that fell down my face, as I drove to my home away from home, the Chateau. I probably shouldn't be driving, but had to get away from the embarrassment at school. God I was such an idiot for thinking that Brandon might like me. For the past month, he had been sweet, a little flirty, getting to know me, but all he really wanted was to get in with Kie. He wanted her, not me. Kie didn't like him already and when she found this out was probably gonna punch him, which did make me smile. Kie was my best friend and always had my back.

I finally pull up to John B's house and take a deep breath. This place always seemed to calm me or maybe it was my friends. My family of misfits I started collecting at the ripe age of 5. It started with JJ, I met him on the playground and thought he looked like a lost puppy with his big blue eyes, unruly blonde (almost white) hair, dirt on his face, and torn clothes. I remember asking if he wanted a friend and he said sure and we became inseparable. Then in 3rd grade I collected John B, another lost puppy, then Pope, Kie, and last Sarah. Well honestly John B collected her, but she was family now.

Wiping the tears off my cheeks, I get out of the car and head in the house. I wasn’t sure if anyone was home, so I grabbed a beer and went out to the back porch. And there laying on the couch, on his stomach, fast asleep was the original lost puppy, JJ himself. His dad was out of jail and he hadn't been to school the last few days, which was never a good thing. Again, a calm washed over me, stilling my mind, and momentarily squashing the rage.

Walking over to the couch, I run my fingers through JJ's hair and whisper a "scoot" in his ear. He grunts but raises his head enough for me to slip under him and sit, before putting it back down in your lap. You guys sit there a bit in silence, me sipping the beer looking out at the marsh while JJ slept. Eventually he begins to stir and rolls over to look up at you.

"What's got you drinking in the middle of the day, princess?" he asks his voice all husky and sleepy.

"Bad day" I grumble, taking another long swig.

He grabs the end of some of my hair, swinging it around. "Ok, tell Papa J your troubles, let's see if I can fix them." he teases.

"I don't think you can fix this one J, not anything to fix really" I mumble as I look down at him tears forming in my eyes again.

"Woah, hey, hey, what's with the waterworks" he asks, concern in his voice, as he sits up and pulls me in a hug.

I shrug "Just another miserable day in my love life, if you can call it that" I sniffle.

JJ stiffens a little, although I don't pay it much mind. He pulls back to look at me and asks "Um, what happened"

"Well," I sigh "Turns out Brandon didn't want to go out with me, he just wanted to use me to get to Kie" I turn to take another swig of beer. "He decides today in study hall, he would ask about if I could give him Kie's digits. When I asked why, he said so he could ask her out. I must have looked confused, cause he laughs and says, Oh you didn't think I was into you did you?" I down another sip of beer "I said Well yeah, he laughs, literally laughs in my face JJ. I was so humiliated I just got up and walked out. He hollers back at me, so is that a no?" I down the rest of the beer.

I finally look at JJ and he is red in the face and has a murderous look in his eyes, "I'mma kill him" he growls.

"I might let you" I tearfully chuckle "I mean what is wrong with me? I know I'm not as pretty as Kie and Sarah. My hair is this ugly red and I'm covered in freckles, I hate it. But fuck. I know I'm not as brash as Kie or bubbly as Sarah, but I like to have fun. I know I seem bookish, but that is cause I really want out of this town. I just don't see why guys can't see me." I throw my head back on the couch out of breath.

*I see you" JJ almost whispers.

I snap my head up and look at him. "What?" I ask quietly.

JJ stands up and goes to the porch screen and stares out for a minute, I'm about to ask him again, when he looks down, does a little nod. I hear him mumble "fuck it" and turns back to me.

"I suck at this shit, but here goes. I see you" he says "No you're not as pretty Kie or Sarah, you're prettier. They don't hold a candle to you, nobody does on this godforsaken island" He starts to pace a little, wringing his hands, as if figuring out what to say "Your hair isn't an ugly red, it's the colors of the sunset. The reds, golds, and oranges that people take tons of pictures of cause it is so fucking beautiful, that's what I see everyday when I look at you. Your freckles? They make your skin glow in the summer, like your some kind of fucking goddess." He chuckles, "In the winter they fade to more a pink and make you look like you’re blushing all the time."

"JJ-"

"No, shut up" he demands "I just sat there and listened to you fucking degrade yourself, so you're gonna sit there and fucking listen to me now." He takes a deep breath and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Ok"

"Ok" he nods " As far not being brash or bubbly like Kie and Sarah, no you're not. You're feisty, temperamental, loyal, and can throw a punch better than most guys. I mean at 10 years old you threw a damn beer bottle at my dad and told him to fucking leave me alone. You have more guts than all of us put together. And yes, you are a blast to hang out with, I mean you can drink most guys under the table." He starts pacing again "Fuck I don't if we would all be friends if it wasn't for you. And I would wager your smarter than Pope, but won't say anything cause it's his thing. And do not ever fault yourself for wanting off this island"

I look at him with my mouth open, tears forming, but not cause I'm sad, but because I never knew anyone saw me like that.

"Do you know how hard it is to see you date other guys and help put the pieces back together for you, when I know, I KNOW, that I would never treat you like that." He says pleadingly "I have waited so long to be that next guy, and yeah it's my fault for not speaking up, but I am now." He comes and kneels in front of me and cups my face. "I want to show you how special you are and tell every guy to eat shit cause she's mine." He laughs.

I can only stare at him for the moment, my mind reeling from his confession. JJ is not one for sharing, even to me his best friend for 13 years. My emotions were all over the place. I felt tears well up on my lashline as realization slammed into me. I always loved JJ, he was my ride or die, but it hit me that I had been in love with him for awhile. I just didn't know it.

I must have taken too long, cause I saw JJ's face fall, he sniffed and looked down. He started to remove his hands from my face. I came back to reality and grabbed his hands. His head snapped back up and I smiled at him.

"JJ" I choked out over the lump on my throat "I didn't know, but I-" I took a deep breath "I want you to be that guy. I want to be yours."

JJ's eyes grew wide and he chuckled "Yea?"

I leaned forward and slammed my lips on his, I could tell he was shocked at first but it didn't last long. He wrapped one hand around the back of my neck and the other wrapped around my waist pulling me on his lap. I moaned as he slid his tongue over my bottom lip, asking me to open up. When I did, he slipped his in and our tongues danced for dominance. He slid his hand up through my hair, cupping my head and deepening the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, melting into it, his other hand grabbing the fat of ass and squeezing.

Air was becoming a need as my lungs begin to burn. I was feeling slightly dizzy, not sure if was the kiss or needing air. I pull back enough to gasp, JJ chasing my mouth and kissing me again. My panties were soaked and a needy throbbing had settled into my core. I rolled my hips over JJ's dick; he leaned his head back and groaned loudly.

"Y/N if you want to stop, tell me now. I won't be able to if we keep this up" JJ murmured against my lips.

"I don't want to stop" I rasp out looking him in the eyes. "I want you to claim me, I want to be yours."

"Fuck" he growled "Wrap your legs around me" he demands.

I do as asked and he stands up with me in his arms. I can feel his ab muscles flexing and his thigh muscles harden, making me swoon a little. He smirks at me as he carries me to the spare, which is basically his room. He lays me on the bed and lays on me with his arms holding him up so he doesn't smash me.

"God I never imagined this would actually happen" he says as gently pushes my hair out of my face. "I have dreamed about it, hell, I've jerked off to your pictures more than I want to admit." He chuckles, his cheeks turning pink. "I never thought you would want me and I didn't want to screw up our friendship"

"It's real J, it's happening"

I reach to kiss him and he meets me, claiming my mouth in toe curling kiss. His hands play with the hem of my shirt and he looks at me for permission.

"Yea" I whisper.

"Arms up baby" he instructs as he tugs my shirt off and throws it behind him.

He kisses along my jawline down my neck. When he gets to a spot on my neck right above my shoulder, pleasure shoots through me and I buck my hips up at him. I feel more than see him smirk and hear a whispered "There you are".

He bites and kisses the spot, leaving his mark, as I feel a fire start in my stomach and I am whining and squirming under him.

"More J" I whine out, "I need more."

He continues his assault down my chest, kissing the areas of my breast he can reach around my bra. I feel his hand slide under me and he unhooks my bra with one flick. I giggle.

"Pretty slick move there"

He grins, "I've might've had some practice" he teases as he rips it of me and it flies through the air. He looks and stares at my breasts for a minute mouth slightly open.

"God your beautiful" he groans as he latches his mouth onto one nipple and his hand kneads and pinches the other one.

I arch my back up to him, moaning from the heat building between my thighs. "J" I whine.

He trails kisses down my stomach to the waistband of my shorts. He looks up at me again, his fingers on the button.

"You still good baby" he asks, his pupils blown.

"Mhmm" I hum out, getting antsy wanting his mouth on me.

JJ unbuttons my shorts and pulls them off. He trails kisses up along my inner thighs until he gets to my soaked panties.

"God your so fucking wet, babygirl. This all for me?" He teasingly asks.

*Mhmm baby, only for you" I rasp out.

JJ kisses my covered cunt before hooking his fingers in the waistband of my panties and pulling them off. His hands caress my legs as they move back up to my hips. He leaves kisses along my legs until his mouth is back in front of my soaked pussy. He gently blows on it causing me to buck my hips and gasp.

"JJ" I gasp out, grabbing a fistful of sheets on each side of me. "Please" I beg.

He wraps his arms under and back over my thighs, pulling me closer to him.

"Please what, baby?" JJ coos at me. He is so close to my cunt; I can feel his hot breath against my lower lips. The mixture of his hot breath and the coolness from my wetness, gives me goosebumps and makes me shudder. The nickname causes me to clench around nothing and I hear JJ chuckle. With a feather light touch, he slowly rubs his finger over my lower lips.

"Please J I need you to eat me" I beg, rolling my hips to try get closer to his mouth.

He licks a strip from my hole to my clit and I loudly moan out. He moves my legs over his shoulders as he licks my ever-swelling nub. I realize he is licking two Js, certifiably claiming my pussy. I giggle and feel him smile when he realizes I figured out what he was doing.

His tongue moves down to my hole and I groan as he pushes his tongue in me. I grab his hair pulling it, the heat in my stomach growing with each thrust.

"Look at me baby" JJ commands.

I look down at him, staring into his eyes, almost completely black now. I watch him as he fucks me with his tongue. My core begins to tingle and I feel my orgasm close. I grind in his mouth, searching for my release. He moves back up to my clit, sucking and licking. He gently thrust one finger in me, I throw my head back and let out a breathy cry. He adds another finger, pumping both fingers in and out. I groan out, one hand pulling his hair and the other grabs the headboard.

"J I'm gonna cum* I gasp out breathlessly.

"C'mon baby, cum on my face" JJ moans, "God your so fucking sweet"

He curls his fingers hitting that sweet spot and bites my clit. I cry out as the band snaps in my stomach, causing me to clench around his fingers and juices to flow on to his face. He groans and I can hear him slurping up all my release like he had not drank in days. He rides me through it, finally getting up and laying down on me. His mouth and chin covered in my slick and he is grinning like a Cheshire cat. He snuggles in between my thighs.

"That was so fucking hot" JJ grins as he leans down to kiss me, letting me taste myself in his mouth. The kiss quickly heats up and I can feel how hard he is thru his shorts.

"You have too many clothes on." I pout, tugging his shirt. He reaches behind him grabbing the shirt and pulling over his head. I start unbuttoning his shorts and pushing them down his legs.

"A little eager ain't we princess" he chuckles as he gets up and takes his shorts and boxers off. His rock hard cock slapping his stomach and standing salute.

My eyes go a little wide. JJ wasn't extremely girthy, although it was big, but he was long the end curving slightly. He has the prettiest pink tip that was getting darker by the minute.

"Like what ya see baby?" He smirked.

"Fuck me" I gasped out in a whisper.

"Oh, I plan to princess” JJ smirks as he crawls up the bed. “I plan to fuck you until my name is the only one you scream” he kisses up my leg “until I have ruined you to anyone else” he kisses my clit “until I have kissed every inch of you” he kisses my breast, nibbling the nipple “until I’ve shown you how much I love you” he kisses me passionately, making me moan and thrust my hips up into him, and causing my toes curl. For fucks sakes, this boy knew how to kiss.

“JJ, please” I moan, “I need you inside me.”

“Shit babygirl” JJ groaned, “you can’t say that shit. I will blow my load, and I’m not ready to yet”

While he’s distracted, I flip us over and began kissing down his neck and onto his chest. I continue to leave open mouth kisses down his chest, over his stomach, nibbling along his happy trail.

“Fuck, Y/N/N” JJ moaned, “I thought you wanted me inside you”

“Got distracted” I mumble as I kitten lick the precum off his perfectly pink tip. JJ groans and his hands fly to my head, grabbing my hair. He pulls me up off him and back to his lips by my hair.

“As much as I want to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours,” he rasps against my lips, “the first time I cum with you will be inside you. Now you have a choice, ride me or lay down and spread’em” he growled.

I literally shudder from the amount of juices that gush out of me. He smirks at me, knowing he has me ready to explode, the little shit.

“Ride you,” I whisper as he pulls me up on his lap and I position myself to hover over him. I reach down and hold him, lining him up, I push the tip causing him to hiss. I look straight at him as I push myself down slowly, feeling every inch of his cock stretching me. Both of us are trying not to close our eyes in pleasure, not wanting to miss this moment. Finally, I feel his hairs against my clit, and I close my eyes and dig my nails into his chest. I moan from the feeling of being so full and I hear him groan “fuck baby”. I clench around him, causing him to moan and squeeze my hips. I pull up until just the tip is in me and slam back down, he throws his head back and hisses “fucking hell”. I slowly began to speed up my bouncing, another release quickly building up in my core. Placing my hands on JJ’s chest, I change the angle of my bouncing and feel JJ grab my hips and squeeze.

“Oh fuck, babygirl” he moaned, head thrown back into the pillow. I closed my eyes and felt him kiss my cervix. While I wasn’t looking, he wrapped his arms around my back and flipped us. I let out a yelp of surprise.

“What the hell, J” I fussed looking up at him. He gently slapped my thigh, causing me to clench around him and moan.

“Yea, we’ll explore that later” he smirked, “I wasn’t gonna last there, this pussy feels like heaven.” He breathed against my mouth, as he started to thrust into me. I moaned into his mouth as he claimed my lips, causing a fresh wave of juices to cover him. I wrapped my arms around his back, digging my nails in and, I know, leaving marks. He groaned sliding one hand to my hip and the other to grabbing my hair.

“Fuck Y/N, why didn’t we do this sooner?” JJ rasped out.

“I don’t know” I groaned.

“Har- harder, ple- please, baby” I stuttered out, the pet name making JJ groan. He put both hands behind my thighs and pushed them into my chest. I cried out from the new sensation, JJ slamming into me harder. I could feel the band in my stomach tighten as he thrust harder and deeper. I couldn’t form words, my brain mush, letting little “uh- uhs” every time he hit my G-spot. I scratched hard down JJ’s back, making him hiss, as my walls fluttered around his cock.

“You close babygirl?” he whispered in my ear.

I just nodded, words failing me. He reached around and used his thumb to rub my clit with little circles.

“Let go, mama” JJ moaned.

That was all it took and the band snapped. I cried out, arching my back, as my vision went blurry around the edges and all I saw was white. My legs shook from the intensity and my ears rang, drowning out JJ.

“That’s my good -fuck- girl -oh fuck” I barely heard JJ right before he slammed into me holding it. I could feel hot ropes of cum shoot into me as I heard JJ moan “fuckfuckfuck” in my ear.

JJ slowly began pushing in and out, riding our highs out, whispering in my ear “Fuck, you’re mine, you’re mine, baby” over and over.

“Yes” I gasped over and over until it was no more than a whisper.

JJ stopped and collapsed on me, still inside me, our sweaty, sticky bodies suctioning together. Both of us panting, trying to catch our breath. I ran my fingers through his hair, kissing his forehead.

“I kinda can’t believe we just did that” I giggle into his hair. He raised his head up, smiling, looking at me.

“Yea, me either. It was pretty amazing” he says leaning in for a kiss.

I smile into the kiss and giggle “Yeah it was.”

We hear the doors of the Twinkie, open and close, and soon hear Kie yelling my name. JJ pulled a blanket over us, but didn’t get off.

“In here” he yells and gives me a shit eating grin. I gave a him a confused look.

Kie walks in and jumps and screams, slamming the door closed. Then opens it again to get a better look, then slams it again.

“REALLY JJ” Kie yells, but you can hear the laughter in her voice. “I heard what Brandon did and was concerned for Y/N, but seems like you cheered her up.”

“Yup got it covered” JJ hollered back.

“By the way, I punched him for you” Kie hollered back. “Thanks” I yelled laughing.

“What the hell is going on?” you hear John B ask, simultaneously hearing Kie “No, don’t open!”

Next thing you see is John B with the door open, you burying your head and groaning into JJ’s chest, Pope behind him, eyes all bugged out. Sarah trying to peek between Kie and John B’s arms.

“Oh, hoh” John B grinned, while Sarah squealed and giggled.

“Guys, can we have a little privacy” JJ smirked looking at you.

“Yup, just glad it all worked out” John B smiles while closing the door.

I looked up at JJ, smiling “Yeah it sure did” as JJ leaned in for a kiss.

Tagging some moots: @haven247 @princessmaybank @rafescurtainbangz @rafesthroatbaby @pankowkisses @pankowperfection @babygorewhore @drewstarkeyslut @drudyslut @kraekat29 @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @starfxkr

[sixosix]

Eee happy early birthday🎉🎊❤ As a fellow Xiao xiao lover I must request him. For his prompt, Xiao, sappy fluff and journal. 💕💕💕 -Sarah

a/n wc 1.1k! hi thank u so much! :D and ty for requesting xiao… the moml(main of my life)

5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST

During your travels with him, Xiao frequently observed you gathering every flower in sight. It didn’t strike him as odd; other mortals liked doing strange, mundane activities he could never understand the point of. Whenever he sees you crouching and plucking a Silk Flower, he moves forward and knows you’ll catch up to him eventually. It was none of his business—he didn’t want you to stop if he pointed it out.

But today, it was raining hard. Branches swayed, leaves were ripped off their stems, and the wind whipped around dangerously. One misstep could lead to slipping and a nasty bruise.

He rushed you inside the nearest cave. You pair were stuck there for however-long, at least until the rain would stop. Thunderstorms didn’t bother him, but they would make you cold, and he was pained at the thought of you shivering uncomfortably. You and Xiao sat by the far corner of the cave, furthest from the entrance and the drops of freezing water. Could he try taking you with him if he materialized into Wangshu Inn? He didn’t want to risk it—it was too far, and he hadn’t tried taking anyone with him at such a distance before.

He felt his protective instincts flared when you shuddered against his side. Xiao’s chin brushed against the top of your head. “Y/N,” he said.

“I’m okay, Xiao. I promise!” You sneezed, then frowned at the gray sky. A leaf retaliated and flew into the cave, slapping you on the nose. Your face scrunched up as you peeled it off. “Ahh, I should’ve listened to you when you said it would rain!”

Xiao sighed. “It was my mistake to agree.”

“We’re both going to take responsibility, then.”

Xiao couldn’t ever say no anyway.

You pouted. Your lip was a little colored from the way you were biting it to hold in the shivering. “The day is almost ending, yet we’re stuck here! This is so unlucky…!”

“Did you want to collect your flowers?” he asked. The cave had some sprouting on its surface—Violetgrass rich in its lilac color—but it was too unsafe to try at the moment.

“My flowers?”

“You collect them when we travel.”

Your eyes brightened as you caught up. “Oh! Ah, yes, I do collect them sometimes!”

Xiao shifted, prepared to move. 

Your hand latched onto his wrist, lightning quick. He would’ve reacted badly if it had been anyone else—but it’s you. “Don’t leave me, though!” you exclaim, wide-eyed. “Just stay here, okay?”

“Ah…” Xiao, stunned and unsure of what to do with his hands, settled back to your side. “Okay.”

The rain stopped, but Xiao’s quick-as-a-woodpecker heartbeat didn’t.

“Are you experimenting with herbs?” Xiao asked.

You were startled from where you’d been walking ahead. You and Xiao fell asleep in the cave—mostly you, because Xiao was wide awake, gold eyes visible in the pitch-black darkness—and woke up to birds chirping and the beautiful sunset of Liyue spread over the grass smoothly. From when you’d woken up until Xiao gathered enough courage to ask, you haven’t spoken, most likely feeling the remnants of awkwardness from last night’s strangely intimate moment.

You blinked. “Ah…?”

“The flowers.”

“Oh!” You waved your hands rapidly. “No, nothing as good as that. I’m filling up a journal.”

“A journal,” Xiao repeated, unable to determine the relationship between a journal and the flowers.

“Mhm.” You bounded to the nearest tree and laid your bag on the protruding roots. “Come here, let me show you.”

It was bound by a loose string, bursting at the seams. Xiao carefully flipped through the thick pages, curiously taking in the dried flowers pressed against them. Some had no flowers but a strangely colored leaf or a detached feather.

But each entry had something in common—

Xiao took me to Qingyun Peak—it was breathtakingly beautiful. Everything was colored orange during the sunset. We soared up with the current and flew all the way to Juyeun Karst! You had taped Mint on the corner.

Xiao and I went to Mt. Lingmeng, and wow! It had these stone carvings spread throughout; I came across one and touched it when it shot me straight up the air! I felt so light; it was incredible. Xiao’s face when I disappeared from his view was funny, haha. He caught me when I landed. Two flowers, one on each side of the page, all dried up but still there.

—His name was in each one.

Xiao got severely injured when we ran into Fatui. I feel terrible. But he takes such good care of me. Nothing was attached to that page but dried blood on the parchment. Xiao remembered that day—you closed off and hid somewhere, guilty. You must have been writing.

“Your presence is never a burden. Never for me.” Xiao really says a lot of things. Does he even know what comes out of his mouth sometimes? There were just wet stains on the space after.

Xiao still couldn’t quite understand, but with the way you looked so hopeful gazing up at him… he thought he could at least understand that this journal was important to you. 

You didn’t have an entry from yesterday, which made sense: you barely got to do anything at all. Xiao decided he would make it up to you.

“Stay here and eat,” Xiao said and didn’t wait for an answer.

He returned a few minutes later, eyes narrowed and hands cupped by his chest.

Emboldened by his idea, Xiao eagerly awaited you to notice what was nestled in his palms—an offering. How strange—an Adeptus presenting a gift to a mortal, yet nothing else has ever felt as right.

You blinked curiously, mouth agape. And then laughed.

Xiao wilted. “Did I misunderstand?”

You scooped up the crystalfly and beamed at him, rivaling the beauty of the moonlight behind you. Xiao had to squint. “No, Xiao!” you said, delighted. “No, no. This is just—this is so sweet!”

Xiao clicked his tongue. “Is it really unlike me?”

“No, I’m sorry,” you laughed, moving closer until your noses brushed. Xiao sucked in a breath, looking anywhere else but the pure delight on your face, feeling a little too warm. “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s a little funny, though. I was expecting flowers, too, but I guess you wouldn’t be conventional about this, either.”

“You like it,” Xiao said, though it was fumbling for assurance.

“Of course I do, Xiao! It’s from you, after all.”

He nodded, pleased. Xiao felt like he could slice Teyvat in half. 

His mind wandered to ways of enriching your collection. A chip of a hilichurl’s mask? Or a delicate slice of wood for every newfound tree? Perhaps blades of grass Xiao would gather as you rolled around on it? With every journey, your journal grew thick, yet Xiao remained the focal point of your entries—nothing else seemed as fitting.

[chaotic-mystery]

ꨄ Pairing: bfd!joel miller x f!reader

ꨄ Summary: Sarah’s home from college and you visit her…and her dad. What happens when you find his lewd magazine collection that resembles you a little too much?

ꨄ Content Warnings: SMUT! 18+ only- MDNI. Unprotected p in v, age gap (not specific but it’s there ya know) daddy!kink, pet names (bunny, baby doll, good girl, etc.) masturbating, Joel cums on your face, cum eating, dirty fucking talk, Joel talks you through it, slight choking if you squint, kinda perv Joel, descriptions of lewd mags.

ꨄ Word Count: 3.9K | I love u

When Sarah visited from college, you were constantly at the Miller’s house for her time being there. She went off to school and you stayed behind in lil Texas but that never changed your friendship as she was constantly calling you and sending you texts about her roommates and soccer team. From time to time she’d ask you how her dad was, he would sometimes forget to answer his phone before he passed out on the couch from working himself to death. You would bring him food whenever you cooked too much and he’d always have this rule about not giving you an empty container back, so after the food was gone, Joel would make it his mission to cook or bake the next day and put some in your container before returning it.

With a container full of brownies and the driveway looking complete again with both of their cars parked, you walked inside and kicked off your shoes, rounding the corner to the living room to find Sarah.

“Saraaah? Where ya at?” You called out in a singsong tone and peeked everywhere for her in the kitchen, even Joel's den. That’s when you noticed him sitting at his desk, his broad shoulders tugging his shirt tightly over his back. Joel turns around and takes off his glasses, looking at you with a smile on his face.

“Hey darlin’! Whatcha got in there?” His finger points to the brownies and the heat in your cheeks rises, knowing your brownies were his favorite.

“Uhhhh brownies for you and Sarah. For the record, I somehow didn’t make enough to share with her friends so I wouldn’t suggest leaving them out in the kitchen if you want to enjoy them.” You grin and walk towards him as he adjusts in his seat and leans back, hands folded behind his head while he watches you open the lid. You reach in and grab a treat for him, handing it off gently, careful not to make a mess. Joel took a bite, closing his eyes in bliss.

“I love when you put the Reese's cup right in the middle and it’s warm. God damn these are amazin’ sweetheart. Thank you.” His beautiful brown eyes meet yours once more and he smiles, shoving the last bite in his mouth.

“Sarah’s out back with ‘er friends if you wanna run off, sure you don’t wanna be here all night with a geezer like me. Think I’ll be in here until I fall asleep.” He chuckles and puts his glasses back on before spinning his chair around and shuffling his papers around.

You couldn’t help but linger for just a second, taking notice of the way his hair curled more towards the nape of his neck, the way he grunts a little when he’s writing down work stuff, the pictures of Sarah scattered across his desk in picture frames.

Being aware not to overstay your welcome in his presence, you cleared your throat and smiled even though he wasn’t looking and for a small second your hand brushed against his elbow as you turned to leave.

When you exited the den, you could feel your heart beating in your ears and your breath still short in your lungs. You were ashamed at how attracted to your best friend's dad you were but there was nothing for you to stop the feeling. You tried dating other men, you tried not coming over as much, but nothing worked. You constantly thought about Joel when it was late at night and your hand was in your panties, trying to give yourself some relief.

As you walked outside to the fire pit where Sarah and her friends were, you tried to blow off your thoughts about her dad and try to be in the moment with her, attempting to be present.

Sarah gets up and engulfs you in a hug, shaking you from side to side.

-

A few hours passed by filled with jokes and old stories being shared, some of which were Sarahs from the last few months at school. The bright moon was high in the starry sky, your mind still wandering to Joel every now and then just dying to know what he was thinking about. He was still in his den, you assumed scribbling notes about work. You really wanted to be in there with him on his lap, playing with his hair while he’s trying to focus on his task at hand but he can’t because your skirt is just a tad too short for his liking.

“Sarah I uh, I think I’m gonna go lay down upstairs for awhile, the smoke is giving me a headache.” You try sounding as convincing as possible and she nods, telling you that her bed is open to you if you want it. Slowly you go inside and steal a glance at Joel to make sure he’s still in his chair. The idea came to you a little while ago when you saw him through the window of his room tugging on his hoodie. How it’d feel to lay in his bed and pretend he was next to you, to smell like him and think about his hands and mouth all over you.

It took you no time to slip into his room quietly, taking light footsteps as the den was directly underneath his bedroom. His room smelled good, like laundry detergent and a little bit of cologne, the glass bottles of scents sitting on his dresser by the oscillating fan. This was definitely his favorite spot to be in, his books scattered everywhere with bookmarks in them, a pair of reading glasses from H-E-B in almost every corner. There was a small night light plugged in that glowed blue, just enough for you to see where you were going to dive straight in his bed. The soft cotton sheets felt like the ones from hotels, they stay cold no matter what and they make it that much harder to get out of.

As you sit down on his side of the bed, you observe everything on the nightstand. His wallet, loose change, some gum and old receipts from gas stations he’s been meaning to toss. Fixated on the drawer handle, you give it a tug and find who he really is inside as the contents come flying to the front. All of his pocket knives tucked away neatly with some car magazines stacked on top of each other. You begin to dig through the pile, it suddenly going from cars to girls spread apart over the tops of them right on the cover. Jackpot.

Your fingers grab the stack and toss the boring ones back inside the drawer, your other hand flipping through the other ones. Many of the pages were dog-eared, noticing rather quickly the model on them looked almost identical to you. Surely it could’ve been just a coincidence he’s got them bookmarked and they just so happen to look like you…right?

You couldn’t focus on anything but this, opening another one and flipping to every page that was dog-eared. Every. Single. Page. Looked like you.

Your excitement was flooding your panties making it hard for you to not want to touch yourself in his bed. You laid back and took the magazine with you, placing it right next to your arm as your hand inched down your skirt into your white undergarment. Your freehand covers your mouth as a whimper tries to slip out. God did you need him. You needed Joel so badly, your pussy was clenching around nothing but the pure thought of his hand touching you instead of your own.

Never in a million years did you think Joel looked at you in that way. He never once gave you the impression he wanted you, maybe he did and you just never noticed.

Your eyes closed as your fingertips circled tightly around your clit, knees bent while you squirm with pleasure wrapped up in his sheets. Joel’s fingers would feel so much better inside you while he kisses your neck, just sending you over the top and making you cum so hard you see stars.

Just as your hips started to lean into your own touch and you were finding that smooth rhythm, the door handle jiggles slightly and your whole body freezes up, fingers immediately leaving your slit. There was no time to put away what you took out, let alone get out of his bed. Before you could react more, there he was standing in the doorway, the hallway light making out his silhouette of his body.

“W-what…the hell are you doin’ in here?!” He shouts and shuts the door quickly, drawing the curtains before he turns on a lamp.

“Mr.Miller I’m so sorry I- I laid down to take a nap and I found these, I just wanted to see them I’m-” The words stuttered out of you as you sit up, smoothing your skirt down on your thighs, hoping and praying he doesn’t see your panties still pulled to the side underneath.

“You shouldn’t be lookin’ at that stuff, especially in my bed. That’s not for innocent girls like you, sweetheart.” Joel starts to gather them together, his knees on the floor on the opposite side of the bed, flailing the lude magazines around in the air when he looks up at you and sighing deeply.

“Jus..get out of my bed please. I can’t, this is so wrong. You’re my daughter's best friend, I couldn’t do that to ya-” Joel leans into his hands with his elbows leaning on the mattress, not wanting to say more than he has to. Of course he wanted you, but it was so wrong. He knew it was wrong to lay in bed at night and stare at your instagram and jack off to your face, moaning your name as he shot his load into a tissue before clearing his search history and tossing the napkin into the trash. He knew it was wrong to even buy all those magazines the moment he thought about putting them back in case someone ever found out why those specific pages were saved.

“Mr.Miller..” You whisper and get on your hands and knees to make your way in front of his face, your skirt falling above your hips. “I’m not a little girl anymore ya know. No one will have to know, I know how to keep secrets. Do you know how to keep secrets?” You grab his hand and gently pull it away from his face for him to look at you, his eyes squinting at the smirk playing against your lips.

“Not a little girl, huh? Well, I know that considering you were touching yourself in my bed, baby doll.”

“I-I don’t know wh-” The heat in your cheeks made it harder for you to articulate your words and Joel chuckled dryly, getting up and soon enough he was towering over you as you laid there on your stomach. A firm spank on your ass makes you yelp in pain and he groans at the sight of you, your tits bouncing everywhere. Joel grabs your face gently and runs his thumb over your bottom lip and makes his way inside, your tongue circling around his skin slowly.

“Goddamnit you make it so hard not to want you, baby. You wanna be a big girl and fuck a man like me huh? You ready for all that y’think?” Even though he was asking, it didn’t feel like he was asking. Joel didn’t give a shit about your answer as he knew the truth, he just wanted to see how eager you were to respond. A soft whimper came before your words, “Yes please, Mr.Miller. I need you so bad, I think about you all the time and it’s clear the feeling is mutual, considering all the bookmarked pages.” You rolled over on your back, nibbling on his thumb still as he towered over you, eyes scanning you over very closely.

“Sit up for me baby, let me sit down.”

You get up and wait eagerly for him to sit against the pillows, his hoodie coming off before he gets comfortable. “C’mere, sit in daddy’s lap.” His hand runs along his inner thigh as he watches your every move, your eyes couldn’t help but look at his growing bulge in his jeans. As you lean your back against his bare chest, his warmth radiating against you while his hands make their way up your shirt to your hardened nipples and pinches them gently. Soft kisses on your neck right below your ear start to make you squirm with your legs clamping shut, your skirt tugging in every direction to keep yourself from pleasing yourself.

“Ahhh, let’s see this one, let’s see.” He says as he grabs a magazine off the bed and flips to the first bookmarked page, a girl dressed in country attire with her breasts exposed from the flannel and her ass cheeks hanging out of what looked like jean panties but they were just super short shorts.

“You wanna know what I was thinkin’ about when I seen this one baby doll?” His mouth brushing against your earlobe as he kissed and nipped at the skin before continuing.

“I was thinkin’ about you dressin’ up like that for halloween and begging me to take off those tight little jean shorts and take you right there against my truck before takin’ your cute ass back to your house. Bet you’d love to flash me when no one’s lookin’ huh?” Joel chuckles and continues to flip pages, meanwhile your pussy was getting wetter and wetter by the second with every photo your eyes looked over.

Next one he stopped on, he made sure to open the pages wide so you could see the entire photo. She was wearing a sports jersey with little braided pigtails and spread legs over the coffee table, cupping her pussy, panties pulled to the side.

“Mmmmm, this one is my favorite,” He starts and pulls you into him tighter, “see this one, I always think about how cute you look when you’re in your jersey for football sunday, oh how I would love to spread you over my coffee table and eat your pussy right there in front of all my friends.”

You couldn’t handle it anymore, the pulsing in your pussy was eating away at you, clenching once again around nothing. Crossing your legs seemed to help, but not worth a shit.

You moan and lean your head against his collar bone, Joel’s lips automatically attacking yours. His tongue licked into your mouth, looking for yours to play with.

“Touch yourself baby, show me how you think about me when you play with that little pussy, go on baby, make me proud.”

Your hand wasted no time before meeting your clit once more only now was it coated in more slick than originally. “T-tell me more, Mr.Miller. Show me another one.” You beg and he happily flips to a new page, a POV shot of the photographer inside a car with a girl pressing her soapy wet tits against the window.

“You can wash my car like that baby, I won’t say no. Jus’ make sure you’re ready for my cock in your mouth after you do that.” moans and whimpers one after another leave your mouth as he flips through countless magazines while he bites and sucks on your neck. Joel’s tongue licks the spot he just bit, telling you you’re such a good girl for him the way you play with yourself, teasing a couple of fingers at your entrance while he shows you how much of a perv he really is.

“You want daddy to fuck you now, show you what you’ve been imagining for years? I can make you feel so good baby but you have to be quiet okay?” Joel’s hands go separate ways, one on your mouth and one replacing your hand in your panties, his thick fingers curling into your entrance coated in your sweet slick.

“Yesss daddy yes, touch me right there yes- ahh-! Shove your fingers deep inside me please, oh my god.” You growl with gritted teeth and lean into his touch, your hips raising with every thrust inside you he makes.

You could feel the white hot fire starting in your stomach, your orgasm just in reach. Joel must’ve known too because just when you grabbed his wrist and basically rubbed against it, he pushed you on your back and got on top of you, your legs folded against his chest after he ripped off your panties. Your skirt’s pushed up around your waist and Joel groans at the glimpse of your glossy cunt.

He yanked down his pants and kicked them off along with his boxers, kneeling in front of you once more, hard cock in hand. “This is so fuckin’ wrong, bunny. So wrong..” he mumbled as the tip of his cock nudged roughly against your clit.

“Daddy-oh fuck- put it inside me, please, wanna feel you ruin me, break me Mr.Miller.”

Joel groans and breathes in sharply as he tries to cram his thick cock inside your tight entrance. “God you’re so tight, princess. Don’t squirm too much, okay?” A devilish grin meets your eyes and he pushes himself deeper inside you, grabbing onto your leg and putting it on his shoulder.

“Should I get you a new anklet baby doll, one that has my name on it, so you never forget who you belong to?” He mutters against your skin before biting the inside of your ankle right under the jewelry.

You arch your back off the bed as he begins to thrust into you with every inch of him splitting you open.

“I’ll wear it proudly for you baby, no one will know how much of a slut I am for my best friend’s dad.” You cry out and Joel leans down, placing his lips to yours sloppy and getting spit all over your mouth. He drinks in your moans, fucking into you faster and harder with his balls slapping against your arousal covered pussy so good it makes a small clicking sound.

He was drilling into you, keeping your leg bent against your chest while he twisted and pinched your nipple with his free hand.

“Like that don’t ya princess? You’ve got such beautiful tits it’s hard not to wanna pull one out and suck on ‘em every time ya come over.” He grumbled, popping a nipple into his mouth, licking and biting at the hard little bud to make you cry out and tug on his soft curls.

Your body was practically throwing itself onto him, hungry for him to rot your brain and think of nothing but his dick for the next several days while you try to mimic how good you feel right now, chasing that blissful feeling like your entire body is on vibrate.

Joel cups your face with one hand, fingertips digging into your cheek to make you look at him while he pants heavily and you dip your chin down, lips parted for his thumb to find its way back to rest on your tongue.

“Fuck, Joel d-don’t stop- oh fuck!” His palm roughly covers your mouth and squeezes while you cry out louder, trying to close your legs to keep the orgasm at bay. “Shhhh easy sweet girl, easy. I know it feels good but you can’t get us caught, ‘kay?” He slows his rhythm down but it’s still just as rough, making your brows furrow and your eyes pleading for him to keep going.

You didn’t give a single fuck if you got caught. The neighbors could hear you scream his name for all you cared and you’d be proud of that. Proud to let everyone know you got fucked by your best friends dad and he was good.

“Gonna keep that pretty mouth shut for daddy or am I gonna have to fill it so you can’t scream?” He purred against your ear, only making your voice muffle louder against his palm.

The white hot pressure was coming for you again in the pit of your stomach, eyes rolling so far back in your skull you’re seeing stars.

“Cum for me baby, cmon. Show me how you used to cum all alone in your room thinkin’ about a old man like me filling you so full of my cock you’d rub yourself raw because it felt so good.” Joel reached down between your two lower abdomens that were pressed together and started to rub your clit with his thumb, his fingers resting just above your bundle of nerves. His body was on top of yours, weighing you to the mattress so you couldn’t run from what was about to happen as his hips kept your legs from meeting together.

“Daddy, oh fuck- yes please don’t st-top, keep it j-ust like that- yes yes yes yes-”

The shrieking moans you were letting out had Joel grinning proudly at what he was doing to you, how fucked out he had you.

The circling on your clit sent you over the edge and soon enough your pussy was squeezing around him, barely croaking out his name and your body jolted with every wave of pleasure washing over you.

Joel laughed menacingly and pulled his cock out of you, the cold air brushing against your slick covered cunt.

He straddled your chest and started to jerk off right above your face, the tip leaking cum, dripping down your chin. Joels grunts get deeper and deeper the faster he moves his fist over the swollen tip of his cock, his stomach caving with every breath.

Hot ropes of cum splatter on your face and neck, some going in your mouth as Joel’s head tips back while he paints your face. The curls that are stuck to his forehead with sweat make you giggle, his whole entire chest glistening faintly with sweat.

“Fuuuuuuckk baby- Jesus Christtt” he growls as he finishes himself off, milking his cock empty of cum. His thumb sloppily wipes up the liquid from your cheeks and puts it on your tongue, making you swallow every last drop. “That’s my fuckin good girl, yesss” he mutters against your puffy swollen lips, licking at your tongue.

You already wanted him to make you cum again but there was no time, you heard everyone cleaning up outside as chairs were being scooted across the patio and cans were tossed in the trash. Joel got off your chest and tugged on his pajama pants from the dresser, grinning at you.

“Be good and come find me after everyone falls asleep, I’m not done with your cute ass just yet.” His hand slips around your waist and pulls you in for a chest kiss while you pull down your skirt. The back door opened downstairs and there was no chance in hell you’d find your panties, leaving you comando as you ran across the hall and into your sleeping back with the covers over everything except your head. Your smile was from ear to ear, and fuck were you absolutely going to find him later.

A few days later he brought over his famous pancakes for breakfast in the same container your brownies were in.

[weird-bookworm]

LET'S SPREAD SOME LOVE!!!!!

talk about your favourite mutuals and why you like them

😄

oh god this is gonna be one hell of an answer

@fairyhaos because shes the sweetest comfiest most adorably chaotic lil ball of energy + she gives the best advice like hello??? what are you??? oh god my heart goes a little off track everytime we talk i just love you so much

@wheeboo okay shes part 2 of the they-make-me-feel-the-safest trio along w yena and axe like please i stumbled across the sweetest sassiest boo stan ever ALSO UR GORGEOUS???

@blue-jisungs axeaxeaxeaxeaxe so chaotically lovely and so boomer and so fun and yoid think shes savage but no shes just soft and as harmful as a pinecone (why do u remind me of tht one joon meme of him just. sitting there. peeling potatoes. in tiny.)

@slytherinshua we kinda talked less for a while bc life happened and then caught up (kinda lol) and im so glad to see shes still as crazy and lovable as ever (im waiting for tht ppt) like talk abt impressive. impressive is her whole personality. sometimes in, uh, less than conventional ways...hehe

@eternalgyu HANNIE WHERE TF R U I MISS UUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭🫶🏻 like yk what i imagine when i think of hannie? causing mischief. LIKE IDEK WHY OKAY i just feel like we'd be running around giggling like idiots js pulling random pranks on people and js the thought makes me smile

@yllouhannie ylli is like love. ylli is gentle and kind and sweet. shes understanding and passionate and really quite cute. oh my love you make me wanna jump off a cliff because how can someone like you exist 😭 (no srsly what is this witchcraft ilysm mwah)

@woozvc nora is like home. which is saying a lot lmao i sound dramatic but like yk when u just talk to someone and it feels just right even tho ur not rly doing much? shes older but she lets go and i can just feel how absolutely beautiful this person is *melts off a cliff*

@welcometomyoasis shu oh shu i have no words so pardon if this is a little small but. ik i say this a lot but i rly do mean it. i love you. so much. yr msgs and reblogs and asks always make a smile and they make me giddy and suddenly nothing is wrong with the world 🥺

@haecien bro is my ultimate gay bestie like what else do you need in life other than cien. what. nothing is the answer. life is complete when u hv cien and his shenanigans lolol like i dare you try to Not like him. i m p o s s i b l e.

@glosskirt AYYYYY MY ARMY SOULMATE we connected over min yoongi. we still rant over min yoongi. we shall die talking about min yoongi. like there is nothing better than having someone to fangirl with over my favs gloss you filled a hole in my life <3

@mesanthropi weiwei!!!! my little bundle of sugar spice and everything nice!! (+ chaos and a passion about the randomest shit ever how do u live why am i not this exciting) how is it always fun to talk to you and why do ur msgs excite me so much

@aaniag chaos. thats it. chaos. this woman brought with her about half a dozen more desi moots for me like how do i hug you how do i appreciate you enough i ugghhhh 😩

@thepoopdokyeomtouched im still waiting for my flirting yk? lol on a serious note, u and ur crazy streak r probably the most entertaining thing on here, and i fucking love it. i love ur chaos and the fact tht u choose to share it w me, thank you 🫶🏻

@arafilez bro rly dropped outta thin air like a fucking ghost and made my life abt a 100x more exciting where were you my entire life ara. where. why didnt the atz rants and the writing and the random asks show up sooner. why.

@nonononranghaee HAFS MY LIL CUTIE PATOOTIE WHY DO I ALWAYS WANNA SQUISH U NOMNOM U CRUSH U KSKSJEHEH u give me so much cuteness aggression oh my god...

@kkooongie sarah sarah sarah sarah sarah i live for ur writing and im always looking forward to our little chats abt books and random stuff (...when r u updating btw 😅)

@maeleelee @mxnsxngie @imagine-a-life-like-this i don't tell you guys enough how much i love and appreciate each one of you. i dont tell u enough how grateful i am whenever i think abt u bc god ik how hard it is to take in a random person in ur circle, to adjust w a kid, to make said kid feel safe and included and loved. so thank you. for all that you do for me and for loving lil ol' me <3

@cadenonlinelive where u at damn i hvnt seen u in ages

@rubywonu @idubiluv GUYS STOP HIBERNATING ITS NOT WINTER ANYMORE I MISS U

[cupidsblonde]

jj always knew he had a thing for milfs even if they where only a few years older than him.

inspiration: @princessbrunette

the moment jj had laid eyes on you he knew he had to have you. so he had brought it up to his friends one night at the chateau.

“you guys know who this is?” jj asks as he shows an instagram to the group off his phone “uhh jj” pope starts “what” “you know shes like 20 right?” jj’s jaw dropped, but then he perks up again “so whatttt its like a 2-3 year age gap who cares”everyone started laughing.

“bro” jj says slumping in his chair and says after he thought about it again. “jj ur 17 just wait a few months and you’ll be legal” John B says shrugging. Kiera smacks his arm “ow what the hell kie” “you shouldn’t be encouraging this” Pope sighs and lays down on the coach “can we figure out jj’s milf problems in the morning or something?” everyone looks at jj and he’s knocked the fuck out

In the morning, jj wakes up last. he wakes up to pope talking about who he’s dropping groceries off to this morning. jj’s ears perk up when he hears your name. “your dropping off groceries too her and didnt tell me?” “im so coming” popes face drops

“no your so not” John B, Kiera, and Sarah all look at each other and Sarah says “theres no stopping him now Pope, hes going” Sarah says and the three of them laugh

jj slaps popes shoulder and turns him around with his arm slung around his shoulder “thanks buddy” jj does a hop and a skip out the chateau and pope following him out the door

when they get to heywards jj spots something he would be able to spot anywhere, you and your 4 year old that looks just like you. jj keeps walking “jj.. jj what are you doing?!” pope whisper yells at jj but cant stop him as he’s already speaking to you.

“hello ma’am” jj says as he makes his way toward you as he picks up your bags for you. Heyward makes a face but leaves it as you swipe your card and take it back quickly and u pick up your child and catch up with thing VERY hot man who you knew to be as jj maybank.

“hey! jj right?” you ask jj stops in his tracks “you know who i am?” he asks “of course i know you silly! we went to the same school for like our whole lives until, well you know” gesturing down at the 4 year old on your hip. “oh yeah sucks you had to drop out, i wish though” he says

“wasnt really my plan but i wouldnt trade her for the world” you say, when you look up you see your small house just off the beach on the cut. “well this is my stop, thanks for bringing my groceries back i really appreciate it.” jj smiles, “you do know they offer to being the bags to you right?” “yeah i know, i got tripped off my someone that youd be there though” you say smiling.

you walk up onto your porch and notice how jj stops. “well? are you coming?” you ask turning around to smile at him and wave him on into your small house.

“guys!” jj yells coming into the chateau slamming the door open and shut excitedly. “i got a date!” pope laughs “you? with her? your joking right?” “yeah jj, does she know your going to turn 18 in two months and you arent 18?” kiera asks

“ill just have to wait then” jj says “you’ve got to tell her.” “ i will i will, the date is tomorrow night ill tell her then.”

your house wasn’t far from the chateau so, jj walked. on his way he made a stop fir some flowers. when he got there he took a deep breath outside of her door and knocked. on the inside he heard little feet tapping towards the door quickly he saw the knob turning but never all the way but at some point it does all the way and he spots a little girl, your little girl. she looks just like you.

when your girl opens the door jj takes one of the bigger flowers out of the bunch and gives her one. she takes it with her clammy hands and says “thank you!!” in her cute high pitched voice and runs off the show her mom.

you walk over to where they are and invite him inside and he gives you the flowers “they are beautiful thank you” you say walking to the kitchen to get a vase to put them in. “hey just so we dont go anywhere you dont want to, im not 18 just yet” he pauses to take a breath and u look at him nodding.

“im turning 18 in like 2 months and i just wanted you to know.” “thats okay, i just turned 20. its not legal just yet and we can wait.” “really?” jj asks “yeah of course” “well if we can, can we continue this date?”

at the end of the night, you guys just kissed goodnight as, he wasn’t legal yet. but when he did turn 18, you guys made it offical and did more than just kiss goodnight.

[podfeels]

Podfeels Adapt8ion Notes: Episode 4

hello, dare again! just as a reminder for how these posts work, stagelights will be covering the notes as a whole, and if i ever have to pitch in it will be with purple text like this! with that said, lets get back into it!

this episode was sort of the first one we ever did, as the original demo for the project way back when (i think it was like 3 years ago now? how time flies) (yeah... its so crazy to look back on) was this episode. we did however make a few new adaptational changes, as well as re-recorded everything, as basically all of us have grown as actors since then. so before we get into the episode proper, we have an adaptational addition already!

at the beginning of each episode, we hear jess (as Narration and then june) saying the quote from the description of godfeels on ao3

these fuckers.

but since june has come out, we can’t just use the godfeels 2.1 one, and the godfeels 2.2 doesn’t necessarily fit. so we (actually i got sarah to do it!) wrote our own specifically for this episode. “My name is June Eg8ert, and now I know I’m human… but will my friends see it the same way?”

ok time for the actual episode

some fairly minor changes. i’m pretty sure the ellipses were meant to be there to help with direction for the actors but we kept them in in the scriptlog because i think they help add to the vibe of roses skepticism

this change was added to help sort of bring this in line with the epilogues. giving off the vibes she’s experiencing the symptoms she talks about in there. this part of the story takes place several months before the epilogues would have happened, so obviously it’s not as severe but its still present. 

line cut for pacing. id say less PACING and more just... sometimes narration things like this, her snapping her head, can be more cleanly conveyed in audio by just having it be incorporated into the performance. the narration described terse body language, so we nix that and deliver a terse performance!

more cut narration. at this point its kind of just routine lol

not necessarily a change but a very fun thing where junes voice and vriskas voice are layered for this line. this was actually also done with the call during the previous episode but i forgot to mention it.

more narration cuts. honestly though i have listened to this episode more than i’ve read the original version so i honestly didn’t even parse the “honestly rose” bit as a change until literally just now lmao. it flows so well that i genuinely thought it was there in the original

self explanatory. im running out of things to say.

the narration is replaced by door slam and party horn sound effects. champagne was specifically mentioned in the notes in the original google doc to be pronounced “sham-pag-in” which is probably a reference to a thing i dont get. YOU HAVENT WATCHED FUTURAMA!?!?!?

lotta cut narration. u kno the deal by now

another not-a-change but a line that gains a completely new context when combined with the actor swap. she quite literally does sound different. i think thats fun. according to sarah, that line was written back in the day with direct plans on it being in reference to her her, having played both john and june, taking a different performance when playing june. its just also taken on an even more stark meaning with having them be different actors, which i think is goddamn beautiful

just more instances of turning narration into stage directions and sound and emoticons into words and vocalizations

_____

so thats it covered! thank you to stagelights for doing the breakdowns for these episodes! check back tomorrow for episode 5's breakdown!

[anincompletelist]

hi sarah could u pls Rec me cute kid fics?

HI FRIEND :D

so sorry mental health has been in the gutter lately so it's taken me a hot second to fill this one but HERE! have some fluffy kid fics that I enjoyed :') <333

(also, I'm assuming that you mean fics in which there are kids and not fics in which they ARE kids, please let me know if you're looking for something different!)

+

Biology 101 for Babies (T+, 2k) by @clottedcreamfudge

“There's a boy,” Arthur says seriously, still holding a bright red crayon tightly in his fist. “At nurs... nurs'ry. He's new an' he's brown.” Henry, still twisting round to give Arthur his attention, blinks a couple of times, then very carefully takes his hands out of the washing up bowl and pulls off his gloves. “I see. What's his name?” “Michael.” “Alright. And why is it unusual that he is, as you say, brown?” Arthur frowns. “Nobody else is brown.” Henry realises with dawning horror and amusement that he is about to have one of the weirdest conversations of his entire life. “Arthur, my little love – you're brown.”

Queer little ducks hold a special place in my heart. (T+, 4k) by anarchyat4am (thanks@wordsofhoneydew for the rec!)

Henry... is more than a bit useless around hot guys. So when he finds the lost kid of the gorgeous dad who frequents his bookstore, he pulls himself together until they reunite, only to then be devastated by the revelation that the man thinks Henry hates him. And, well... courage always rises, and all that.

Confidential Memorandum (T+, 17k) by sherryvalli

"Hello, Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's office. How may I help you?" "Hello, can I speak to Mr. Fox-Mount-krishen, please?" Alex blinked. After two weeks of hearing nothing but the voices of snooty men and frazzled secretaries calling in, the person on the other line now sounded decidedly neither snooty nor male nor in any way adult. It was a little girl. "Mr. Fox-Mountchristen's unfortunately in a meeting right now,” Alex began slowly, “but I could take a message?" "Oh." The girl paused. "You're not Mr. Hunter." [Alex starts a new job as Henry's new assistant. Henry's daughter keeps calling the office and leaving him messages.]

+

[shelter/foster/adoption etc. fics]

Family Line(s) (T+, 26k) by notcanoncompliant

Henry and Alex had been thinking about fostering for years now, they were just waiting for the right kid to (aparently literally) fall into their life.

When You Smile, You Knock Me Out, I Fall Apart (And I Thought I Was So Smart) (G, 3k) by @interestinglittlerelationship

Alex is facing away from him, head bent over a pan of something that smells absolutely amazing. There’s an apron tied loosely around his waist. He looks so painfully domestic that Henry almost passes out. He would make such a good father. or Henry and Alex stumble upon a new dream and build a family together.

+

[and I know you said cute and probably meant fluffy, but I can't help adding my personal fave kid fic, but PLEASE DO PAY ATTENTION TO TAGS as most of the fluff is within other angst!]

a flicker, a spark (e, 83k) by acastle

“She truly is your daughter, Alex,” Henry sighs, defeated. “Fuck off, sweetheart,” he laughs, a soundbite of the sun. Henry forces himself not to physically react, the term of endearment sweet and menacingly familiar coming from Alex’s lips. It’s been years. “You know they’re useful.” “Ah yes, eyelashes, truly a formidable instrument in managing international relations.” Alex grins, and Henry is too late to catch the slightest downward lilt on the corner of his mouth, “Worked on you once, didn’t it?” Oh, did that ache. (Much had happened since the time Henry had told Alex to leave. Alex had passed the bar, gotten married, had the most beautiful daughter. And Henry, well. He stayed right where he was.)

and the accompanying piece:

sea of endless hope (e, 85k)

Henry watches Alex, the man he adores and loves so ardently, and the moment is palpable, delicate, and yet too large for even the sky to contain. He watches Alex, and in that moment, he wants to be his husband, the ache and urge of it almost unbearable. “Daddy!” Nena takes Henry’s hands, and he looks down at her, the angel who had saved him, and he smiles at her, quiet with emotion, letting her lead him into place. He would follow her, follow Alex, anywhere. (Henry, Alex, and their daughter, and the first years of coming home, forever.)

+

[and one of my own for good measure ha! again, please check tags!]

Something Borrowed, Something Blue (e, 116k)

When June gets engaged, Alex, her brother, and Henry, her best friend, are asked to be the official Guys Of Honor. There’s a month to plan the whole thing, which would be near impossible anyway, only made worse by the fact that being around each other the last several years has only ever led to petty fights and useless competition. Unfortunately, as the two most important men in her life - aside from her fiancé - they don’t really have much of a choice. Alex has a lot of feelings about this. As it turns out, Henry does too.

+

I don't read a ton of kid fics, but I'm definitely open to other recs as well! hope this hits the spot for you friend! :D

xx

[tojisun]

hi honey!! okay I'm gonna ask a bunch for the soft asks thing bc I'm nosey but obvs you pick and choose to answer what you wanna!

dimples, honey, sapphos and roses

mwah love you byebye

omg no bc im so giddy to see u asking a bunch!! i’ll answer all rahhhh

dimples - most attractive features of a person’s face?

hhhh id say it’s fr their eyes and eyebrows. must be the masked kink atp (balaclava, the ghost mask, bikers helmets, etc etc) but that combo really does it for me :’< which is odd bc i have a problem with making eye contact (explains a lot oh god; almost like bc i cant make eye contact, its become a source of attraction for me??? WHAT) but yea <3

honey - favourite term of endearment?

sweetheart!! it used to be darling but sweetheart, for me, is just so achingly soft and tender

sapphos - favourite poet?

uhh i dont have any ‘classic’ poets at the top of my head right now but id say fave poet is sarah kay. she’s more into doing slam poetry, as far as i know, but god her works are beautiful. my absolute favourite work of hers is ‘dreaming boy’ but also ‘private parts’

an excerpt from ‘dreaming boy’:

“When I finally asked you if you might want to date boys, I held my breath while you thought about it for a long, quiet moment.

‘I haven’t met one I’d like to date yet,’ you said. ‘And right now, I’m pretty in love with you, if that’s okay.’

And just like that, I did not crave language I always thought I needed.”

roses - what flower do you find most beautiful?

mini carnations!

GAH i rambled but thank u vi for this <33 MWAH I LOVE YOU LOTS

[vmures]

No Skip Albums: Tag Game ✨️

Thank you @oldefashioned for the tag! 💜 Music is one of my favorite things.

Rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums.

These are listed in no particular order. Pretty much just as I think of them.

Beyoncé - Cowboy Carter

This is a phenomenal album all the way through and I've been listening to it a whole lot. I love the various music traditions that get interwoven throughout. It's truly a genre defying album while also being very much a country album. It also reminds me of my own Louisianan roots.

2. Taylor Swift - Midnights

Taylor's got a lot of great albums and compelling songs but this one really drew me in and I can just listen to it on repeat for hours.

3. Tracy Chapman - Collection

It was super hard to pic a single album by Tracy Chapman cause many of hers fit this tag game for me. But collection is one I absolutely love. So many great songs. Tracy is one of my favorite artists. Her voice is so beautiful and powerful and her lyrics so thoughtful and potent. It's music that just speaks to my soul.

4. Natalie Merchant - Tigerlily

I probably drove my high school roommates (I went to boarding school for two years) nuts with this one. And all these years later it remains one of my favorite albums. There is something so soothing about it for me.

5. Sarah McLachlan - Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

Another one from my high school years. It's hard to believe this one is celebrating it's 30th anniversary this year. Where on earth did the time go? This one has so many heartfelt songs that I still love to sing along with.

6. Various Artists - The Crow Original Movie Soundtrack

Love the comic, the movie, and this soundtrack. My favorite song on it is still Jane Siberry's It Can't Rain All the Time, but all the songs are fantastic.

8. Fleetwood Mac - Greatest Hits

Another one from my teen years. Lol. I listened to this one so many times I nearly wore my cassette out. 🤣 It ended up being my soundtrack for the entire Last Herald Mage trilogy and to this day when I hear some of the songs I think of those books. Still a fantastic album and still one I really love.

9. Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams

This is another artist I had a hard time picking a single album for. 🤣 Ultimately this one won because it is one of my favorite of his albums. If you can't tell, I have a fondness for well written lyrics and singer-songwriters.

10. Yoko Kano and the Seatbelts - Cowboy Bebop Remixes: Music for Freelance

The entire soundtrack for Cowboy Bebop is amazing, but I have a particular fondness for these remixes. I still love putting this one on and jamming out to it and I enjoy the little segments of Radio Free Mars we get as well.

So there we have it, ten albums I adore and will happily listen to on repeat with no songs skipped.

If you are interested in playing along, please consider yourself tagged! I love learning more about what others enjoy!

Til next time. See you, space cowboy.

[erzivy]

I really love your posts!! So here’s another headcanon prompt for you: what would the counselors’ backgrounds/childhoods be like?

The game doesn’t really give us backstory information for the characters so I would like to see someone else’s thoughts!

thank u so much!! <3

kaitlyn

- only daughter of 5 kids, 2 older and 3 younger brothers - her mother is a Chinese immigrant and her father is Korean, raised in the US kaitlyn was often overlooked as a child because her mother only wanted boys- she became close with her father and he's the reason she's so handy. her brothers are sporty and scholarly but she was mediocre in both but excelled in mechanics

jacob

- youngest of 3 biological brothers, 1 older stepbrother - his parents are divorced and he was never close with his bio mom as a kid jacob's father struggled financially being a single dad to 3 boys, but when he was 12, his father started dating a very kind woman who, along with her son mike, integrated seamlessly into their family

nick

- has one older sister, non-biological - he's half white Australian and half Māori, but he was adopted by Italian parents who were also born and raised in Australia nick was raised extremely catholic. he's extremely close to his sister- she's the biological daughter of his adoptive parents- and she's always been someone he can rely on. they moved out together about a year pre-game and they're helping each other process leaving the catholic church

abi

- oldest of three sisters - her parents are still together "for the girls" but it's honestly making things worse abi was raised by crunchy granola parents- that is to say, she was raised organic and free-range. the only thing that remains from this is that she's a vegetarian. her mother nearly fainted when she came home with a tattoo because "the ink could get into her blood and poison her with carcinogens"

emma

- only child - lovey-dovey dads who cherry picked a surrogate mother so they could have the perfect beautiful daughter emma was a spoiled child, this shouldn't come as a surprise- but there's a reason she was so spoiled. she was an extremely talented child, doing a lot of theater activities from around the time she was 6, and her dads have always been her biggest cheerleaders (and drama enthusiasts). her dads met while one was in school in France- mr. mountebank is a French immigrant!

ryan

- oldest of two, sarah is 6 years younger than him - considers his grandparents his mom and dad ryan's father died in an accident when he was 10 and his mother only stops by occasionally to butter him and sarah up on birthdays, so he's only truly felt parental love from his grandparents. they've always encouraged him in everything he does, even if they don't understand. sarah is having a difficult time with her teenage years considering the familial breaks but ryan does his best to make sure she always knows he's there

dylan

-only child - sperm donor baby it's always been just dylan and his mom! they're extremely close and do nearly everything together. she was there with him when he got his first tattoo and when he came out as gay to her she was incredibly supportive. his cat (an important family member) was just a kitten when dylan found him crying in a bush while walking to school. dylan proceeded to ditch school to take care of the kitty and now he's named after a well loved physics concept and in a happy family

laura

- oldest sister to a pair of boy-girl twins 5 years younger than her - happy southern parents laura was raised on a farm in south carolina where her family fostered rescue dogs, and it's where she developed a passion for animals. her mother is a businesswoman and her father is a charming, progressive southern man

max

- somewhere on the younger half of 8 siblings. he's 1 of 9 - fundamental southern baptist parents max's childhood was... interesting. he was mostly raised by his older sisters and was very easily overlooked due to his age and meekness. he moved out of his family home at 18 when his parents tried really hard to marry him off to a girl from another large family and he wasn't having it. he met laura while volunteering at a local animal shelter as he was trying to find his purpose

oof. this is quite a post

@hedwig123 - i got your ask, but didn't answer it because i thought it tied in nicely with this one! i hope you don't mind :)

[riansdiary]

My BRIDGERTON S3 E1 Reaction/Annotation 🎉

My dearest gentle readers,

It is finally time to start off my new series of posts for my written reaction to Bridgerton Season 3! We are doing the first episode on this one! I wanna thank all the amazing members of the ton who have liked my post about this letting me know that you'd like to see this. I will include screenshots if it is extremely necessary! This is not the first time I'm watching, this is my second but I'll still share thoughts I had from my first watch! My favorite characters are Eloise and Benedict! Yes, my favorite Bridgerton siblings! Penelope would be the third probably! I also have a special place in my heart for Lady Danbury and Kate! I love them. Philippa is also super adorable to me especially when she said her iconic line. Now, Varley! The bugs!

That is all, shall we start? Warning: There will be spoilers.

---------------------------------------------------

I love that they do this every year! It's like someone was giving birth inside the room but it's just really one of the sisters getting their makeup done and putting on their beautiful gowns!

This is my face when Kathony appeared: 🥹

Would you look at her dress? It is just so beautifully done! I love Kate's looks even more this season and I'm so happy that Anthony is being himself and is so cute with her! How is it that they didn't know that it was Frannie playing the pianoforte downstairs? Even Kate knew. Now, do you know what I'm really curious about? How did our girl escape from that room? Everyone is literally outside of that room. How did she get to the drawing room from there? Nevermind, I think she said that she woke up early.

I love Hannah Dodd! I actually recognized her as soon as I saw her. I thought that she looked familiar at first and then it clicked to me that she was in Enola Holmes 2! One of my favorite movies! She was the missing girl. Her character was Cicely or Sarah Chapman. She was amazing there so I knew she would do Francesca justice!

Aw, Pen staring at Eloise as they walked out of Aubrey Hall was heartbreaking to me. Not my favorite besties in the show not getting along anymore! They both made a mistake and I really hoped that they could resolve it.

Here's my honest opinion on Colin's F-boy era: I know his glow up was great and every girl is out to get him but he didn't need to be such a RAKE about it! I want our sweet romantic boy back!

Let's look at our boy's glow up though! I am very proud of him. Look at our boy! If only he used that to be more honorable and acted like a prince more instead of turning into a rake. Come on, where's our sweet Colin from S1 and S2? I just really miss him not trying to fit in and just being his sweet self.

Nice Colin! I love his hair better now. We love the curls! He did look cute before but I gasped and my jaw dropped when I saw him first in this specific scene! I was like: Wow! He looks so good! Penelope will fall even more for him.

I love that he calls Eloise "El" it's so cute! I myself have a nickname for her but let's be honest, Colin's nickname for her is way better. It's "Lou" or "Loulou" cause she's Eloise. There's that "Lou" sound when you say her name even if the u is not there but you know what, Colin's is way cuter. I'm gonna call her "El" instead.

Ah, the intro always hits. It just calms me down when I hear the opening theme!

I love Anthony's line when the brothers were in the carriage! "Who are you? What have you done with our brother?" My second favorite Anthony line after "Lilies, Forget-me-not, Lilacs!" 😆

Gregory was so adorable when he was imitating Colin! "Mm. I should like some... proportion." That was so funny for me. I loved Anthony and Benedict's reaction to that! Love how they both leaned to the left when they smiled at Gregory! One of my favorite Bridgerton brothers moments for sure!

The mom and the daughter speaking to each other with sign language! I loved that they added that!

Let me say one thing about Mama Featherington. What I like about her is that she always does her best to take care of her daughters. Maybe not in emotional ways but rather in the financial way. Love that about her. The thing that I disliked about her is how she treats Penelope. She teaches Pen to dumb herself down so men can tell her things. While that is a good strategy, it is not entirely true. I think Lord Debling would have wanted Pen to just be herself and talk intellectually with her. I didn't like the way she treats Pen at all. She underestimates her own daughter. Dare I say, she doesn't even know her daughter.

Oh Portia, you are so so clueless. That is literally Pen to a T except she has more money.

Cressida, Cressida, Cressida. I hate it every time she comes to bully Penelope or ruin her dress like she does almost every time. I do love her gigantic sleeves 🤣

I never wanted Mama Bridgerton to move so thank God Kate doesn't want her to move either! Also, look at her entire outfit and hair! Slayed! So gorgeous!

One of my favorite moments appears after that which is the moment Lady Danbury called them Lady Bridgerton and they both answered! I found that so heartwarming to be honest.

Great, every debutante is in love with Colin. He is the charm machine this season. Just be yourself sweetie!

When Cressida's mom said: "Or does common thievery run in the family?"

I would've immediately said: "Does bullying run in yours?" 😎

Portia is the one who has been dressing or at least choosing Penelope's gowns and you don't know how relieved I was when Pen said that she doesn't want to see a single citrus color on her new dress. She's finally using Whistledown money for her own good. Yes girl!

I love how Anthony is letting Gregory play with the bow and arrow but not where their mother can see it! Benedict and Hyacinth coming along with them was so cute!

Colin's timing when his mother wondered if they will ever be on time was fantastic! And the fact that it's a watch gift too! 💡

I cannot say enough about how much I love Francesca's gowns! They're so pretty and the hair! I wanna do that with my hair too! It just gives me Belle from the Beauty and the Beast vibes! So elegant! Emma Watson, my role model of all time was a great Belle but I think Hannah Dodd also looks like Belle especially with the hairstyle they gave her which is almost exactly the same hairstyle that Belle often has!

Eloise reading Emma! Okay, personally I haven't read but as my favorite YouTuber Darling Desi loves Emma, I know for a fact that it is an amazing book! Please watch her if you wanna relax or if you are a book lover too! She has a lot of aesthetic and lovely seasonal, cottagecore and other types of videos!

Colin questioning Eloise about why she's befriending Cressida. Our boy is at least there for Penelope when it comes to El and when it counts! She said that no one showed her kindness but Penelope does.

I cried. It was so hard and heart-wrenching to watch Eloise and Penelope's first scene together at the modiste. It's the first scene where Penelope finally approached her. Not my favorite best friends!

This necklace on Nicola was so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off it!

Okay, I know there are people who are siding with both. There are some who said a lot of bad things about my Eloise. That it's her fault and that she's a horrible friend but let's get into the bottom of this. I want to share my point and this is it. What's a character without a flaw? Someone who's too perfect, could be boring and seemingly less human. Penelope and Eloise both made mistakes and it's true.

Penelope could have told her earlier that she's Lady Whistledown. Eloise is her best friend and I feel like she would be fine with it. She didn't really hate Whistledown and I'm sure she would have been ecstatic if Pen confessed to her earlier. Yes, Penelope only wrote about Eloise to save her but she still dragged her family to filth. I know she had no other way to protect her but it still did something to their reputation. It was revealed in part two that it was true, that Eloise was a little jealous of Penelope's success and her being Lady Whistledown. That kind of added fuel to the fire. Pen did write about Colin and Eloise both as Lady Whistledown and that did a lot of damage to their reputation as a family. People tend to forget that Eloise couldn't continue to be friends with Theo because Pen wrote about it. They were so cute and she was starting to feel something for him. Both of them.

I am kind of hoping that we get a different kind of love for Eloise if it's possible for her to be with Theo instead of Crane. It would be quite interesting to see someone from nobility fall in love with a normal person. I would love to see that and that would be so much more dramatic and romantic. Rich girl, poor boy trope anyone? Yeah, I did adore Theo a lot, he's so cute with her!!! ❤️

Eloise wasn't always mean to her during their feud. When Cressida ripped Pen's dress, she looked so apologetic and almost teary-eyed. What I wanted to say is that they both hurt each other and I hope this will make them grow.

The Mondrich couple are one of my favorite side stories. They might not be nobility or royal before but damn, they dress so well! Just look at them! I love that pink gown 😍 and it matches with his outfit!

I love Newton so much! One of our puppies is part corgi so she kind of looks like Newton! So cute!

Me when Penelope said "I should like to try something a little different tonight.": 😱🫢👍

Yes queen, enough of the citrus colors (not that they're bad cause I saw the Featherington fam in S2 wearing gold and I was like 😍) that your mamma always dresses you in! Penelope hair and gown glow up! Ahhh! Her entrance scene with the new look is one of my favorite moments! Everyone was astounded by her beauty and we all know it especially you Colin! A lady with red hair in green dresses is just a match made in heaven! It just works! Nicola or Penelope's smile when she walks down the stairs and notices that everyone is looking at her was so beautiful!

Cressida Cowper and her iconic always gigantic sleeves!

Oh Colin "down bad" Bridgerton stopping to stare at Pen! I think he doesn't know he had feelings for her or is it because of the fact that he is roleplaying as his brothers? I heard somewhere that Colin is trying to put on a mask, be a rake and act like his brothers because he's trying so hard to fit in. He just always has seen Pen as a friend and doesn't recognize how he feels about her.

Pen was so nervous when she was talking to the men who approached her and yet she's so confident and charming as Whistledown. I guess we can say they never talked to her as much before so this is the first time. I hate that they left her early because they don't want Whistledown to write about them with Pen ugh! They don't wanna be written that they're with her but remember they were the ones who loved her look and approached her? Oh my God, fight me! 😠

Eloise staring at Penelope: 👀

Me: "I'm sure you're proud of her. Maybe secretly but just go talk to her!" 😆

The Penelope and Francesca moment was so wholesome and I loved that they had each other.

Every time Cressida Cowper ruins Penelope's gowns I'm like: 😤😡🤬

The guy who said this to Colin: "Miss Featherington, why concern yourself with her?" I don't like him. I don't like any of Colin's new friends, they are insufferable! How rude! Why concern himself with her? Well are you dumb? They're friends hello?

"I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington" was the worst thing that came out of Colin's mouth. Lies, lies and more lies!

Portia is so smart when it comes to saving her girls! I love that about her!

They were so smart about how they covered Claudia Jessie's injury! I did enjoy the Eloise and Cressida's promenade scene where she's scolding her about what she did to Penelope's dress! Eloise still does care about Pen. We're seeing a bit of Cressida's good side there. Loved that. I think she thinks Pen is a threat even though she doesn't wanna say it. She has been bullying her for a long time and trying to ruin her chances with men. She feels threatened by her. She could easily snatch the attention of the men without doing that to Pen. She wouldn't do that if she thinks that Pen doesn't have a chance.

Love that Kate convinces Anthony to let Violet stay! The Bridgerton drawing room is literally my favorite room or place in the show. The blue is just so calming and the place is so cozy.

Colin apologizing to Pen was sweet but she got friendzoned yet again! Oh Colin. Pen's wearing green again! It's so perfect with her red hair I tell you! He's finally appreciating Pen. Thank God.

The Mondrich family are now members of the ton? Yes! They deserve it!

Me when Eloise is reading the new Whistledown issue about Colin: "No no no no no, I feel a storm coming on! A storm of drama. She's not going to like that. Neither will he. Yikes, Pen."

Colin: What are you reading?

Eloise: Nothing.

Colin: 🙂‍↔️🤨

Eloise: 😐

This was so funny to watch even though the situation was, you know, dire. I loved that they could talk just with their eyes and face expressions! Something that reminds me of me and my own siblings!

Penelope calling out Colin's act! Yes!

Colin: I will never forgive her

Me: They're setting it up, oh no. Here we go. He's not gonna like it when he finds out it's her

He literally said "I will make sure it is her life that is ruined." Oh my God! Pen, what now!

---------------------------------------------------

And that is it, everyone! I hope you enjoyed my first one! My reaction to the first episode of Bridgerton! This was fun to do! If you noticed that I'm suddenly talking in Bridgerton style, it's because it's easy for me to pick up accents and ways of speaking! I had so much fun with this! See you on the next one! 💋

[nidamae-approvedhpfanfics]

Fanfic .com favorites as of March 2024

The list is long mostly Harry Potter but a few Labyrinth.

ALPHABETICAL B-C

Back to the Beginning by burnable Harry Potter u:07-02-2020 - Harry finds himself thrust into his four-year old body, after Voldemort killed him in the forest in what would have been his seventh year. Knowing what he did, he decided to fix some things he never had a chance to before. He'd not go into the magical world untrained this time. OP Harry. Science, magic and discovery. Harem.

Back in the Game by Demoph-the-Black Harry Potter u:11-27-2022 - Harry has planned for years, only for Dumbledore to put a wrench in the works. "You have to die... so long and thanks for all the fish." But his plan will move on even without him. Except... Death has something else in mind. My 1st fic, crosspost from AO3, crack!

Back to the Past by Glorioux Harry Potter u:04-11-2021 - Can Apocalypse be averted? The magical world is a place of horror. Hermione goes back to the moment where all went wrong. Will anyone believe her. Dumbledore made amistake, Grindenwald escaped, and The Magical word is ending; can she stop it? First she must kill the pretender, glamoured to seem like Sirius.

Backward Without Purpose by birdwoman95 Harry Potter u:06-28-2016 - A re-do story full of cliches and cussing. I dislike the Weasley family in general and Ron in specific, so you may want to pass if he's your hero. Adult, Auror Harry is thrown back to his 10 year old body. What does he do? Kick @ and take names, of course. Rating is for the recounting of crimes by a Very Bad Man.

Basilisk-born by Ebenbild Harry Potter u:03-26-2021 - What if the Dementor attack in 5th year had ended with Harry losing? What if someone had stepped in to save him? And what if Harry ended up in the past with a chance to be more than he ever was before? A story about a forcibly time travelled Harry and its consequences... Manipulative Dumbledore, 'Slytherin!Harry', Time Travel!

Basilisk Go Boom! by BeepKeeper Harry Potter u:03-25-2018 - Here's a short story set during Harry's third year. Who gives a fourteen-year-old a powerful artefact to bend time. Did anyone monitor her use? Did anyone warn her of the consequences of misuse? Also something different with Basilisk! Dumbledore Ron & Sirius bashing (no pairings)

Bastard Prince by RhiannanT Harry Potter u:12-11-2016 - Book two in the Outcast's Alley series. Having accepted his place in the Court, Tobias must learn how to fulfill it, as well as handle new revelations about his parentage.

Bathtime by Ruya Firtina Labyrinth u:06-20-2012 - Sarah gets completely dunked in the Bog of Eternal Stench, and there is only one way to get rid of the stink. Okay, I lied before, but now it is really Complete!

Beautiful Things Can Come From The Dark by yesterdayschild4 Harry Potter u:11-28-2009 - He finds her, broken and bleeding, and it will change everything. A rape aftermath story told from Draco Malfoy's POV. DHr

Beauty and the Beast by Lightning09 Harry Potter u:11-12-2016 - Kind. Scared. Smart. Loving. Not words you would use to describe Draco Malfoy. But the war had it's toll on everyone. But Draco Malfoy? During their 8th year of school, Hermione discovers the side of Draco she never would have thought possible. Love and War. Beauty and the Beast. Two opposites who find themselves in one another. DRAMIONE *Sequel out NOW!*

Becoming Neville by Jedi Rita Harry Potter u:06-07-2006 - COMPLETE Neville's Gran breaks her hip just after his fifth year at Hogwarts, and he must spend the summer with Harry and Remus. They discover a hidden message in the candy wrappers his mother has been giving him, and begin to uncover the mystery.

Before the Dawn by snarkyroxy Harry Potter u:07-12-2006 - In her seventh year, a latenight discovery changes Hermione Granger's view on a great many things. Severus Snape is just one of them. Complete.

Beginning of a New Life by rlpj4 Harry Potter u:07-27-2010 - AU. After the events of fourth year, Harry does not return to Privet Drive. He, with the help of Gringotts, decides to travel and learn as much as he can to help him in the fight against Voldemort. Super!Harry, Time-Travel!Harry

Behind Blue Eyes by elmembrila Harry Potter u:11-14-2019 - It's the summer after the Department of Mysteries and Harry Potter's about to do something drastic, something nobody expects, and he may not be alone. Following the lives of Harry and the Order as they battle against each other.

Behind the Mask by tookkia Harry Potter u:08-09-2017 - It begins when he asks her to dance; charming, dashing, Hermione is enchanted; pity it's not who she expects. Tensions continue to rise, though, when a new poison threatens the magical world, more fatal than childish grudges. An impossible pair, surreally perfect.

Beltane Child by White Angel of Auralon Harry Potter u:09-01-2013 - Harry needs some time to let his guard down in the war. So he goes to a celebration just before he, Ron and Hermione plan to get Hufflepuff's Cup from Bellatrix Lestrange's vault. Who could have guessed what the consequences would be?

Beneath Your Window by Crookshanks.x Harry Potter u:06-06-2008 - Hermione finds her life in turmoil and decides that the best move is to run from it all. To her surprise, she's not the only one running from life. DHr fic, Complete.

Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by Perhentian.en Harry Potter u:04-21-2022 - Hermione had grown quite used to help Harry each time her friend managed to end up in some impossible situation, and this even if the war with Voldemort had been over for a long time. But when Harry, faced with the destruction of the magical world, decides to throw his friends back in time, Hermione is appalled. And what about this reckless plan of his to somehow use Voldemort?

Beyond the Sacred by Lomonaaeren Harry Potter u:12-02-2022 - Members of the "Sacred Twenty-Eight": "Don't you wish you were sacred like me?" Harry: "Not really, no." COMPLETE.

Birdshot by BeepKeeper Harry Potter u:04-01-2022 - Harry's exceptional summer between third and fourth years at Hogwarts begins with revising the goblin wars and figuring out how to get help from trusted adults. He spends time in the sunshine and thinks about his runic arrays and cartouche. The summer gets intense before return to Hogwarts where professors have stupid restrictions once again. BASH DUMBLEDORE BASH Magical Britain

Black Family Business by Nargled Harry Potter u:05-11-2016 - The war and the trials are over. Draco is finally going to become the Heir to the Black Family. And there's nothing that bloody Potter can do about it. Chapter two added, updated.

Blind My Eyes, Sew Them Shut by Greenaleydis Harry Potter u:11-17-2017 - After a close brush with the Death Eaters, Hermione awakens blinded and on the run with a familiar snarky Slytherin. In hiding, Hermione and Draco must find a way to survive - and somehow thwart a plot that could alter their very world. Dramione, post-DH, COMPLETE.

Blood of My Blood by Lomonaaeren Harry Potter u:11-19-2022 - HPTN, AU. Theo knows that someone in Hogwarts is using blood magic, the kind that scrapes at his senses. But without knowing more information, he can't seek them out or stop them. Purely by chance, he finds Harry Potter with blood soaking through bandages on the back of his hand, and discovers the power of taking a risk. Twoshot. COMPLETE.

Blood of an Enemy by Foamy the Squirrel Harry Potter u:08-12-2004 - Hermione kills Voldemort at the end of Sixth year. Over the summer she is turned into a Vampyre. When she returns to school, friendless and alone, she finds out how cruel life really is. -COMPLETED-

Bolt Fashion by White Angel of Auralon Harry Potter u:12-27-2015 - Harry Potter knows that money can give you power and influence. He has learned that from a young age on, seeing how his relatives get away with many things. And others having way much more than you do can be a problem. Thus he starts his path to cause a small revolution in its own right. No matter if Dumbledore doesn't like it. Two-shot.

Bond by MrBenzedrine Harry Potter u:05-24-2017 - What happens at "Bond" stays at "Bond" -Hermione is taken out for drinks at club "Bond", an establishment that can offer you anything from some alcohol and dancing to SO much more. When she, quite literally, falls into Draco Malfoy's lap, will she open up her mind and explore sexual desires she never knew she had? Kink. COMPLETE **FIRST PLACE: BEST SMUT 2017 Dramione Awards**

Bonds of Blood by LiteraryLuminary Harry Potter u:05-04-2005 - Today marks the end of her debt to Lily, paid in blood. On Harry's 17th birthday, Petunia bids farewell to her nephew. She anticipates freedom the instant he is placed in his guardian's care, but is given poetic justice in its stead.

Bone of the Father by BeepKeeper Harry Potter u:04-11-2023 - The ritual in the Graveyard to resurrect Lord Voldemort reveals a problem for Tom Riddle, Jr. Something is missing when he steps out of the cauldron, something he couldn't get from Tom Riddle, Sr's bone. (Bashing Riddle, Dumbledore, professors, Houses at Hogwarts, and Ministry for Magic)

Break the Pattern: Tri-Wizard by Squirrel of Shadow Harry Potter u:03-27-2015 - As Tri-Wizard tournament approaches, Harry Potter prepares himself. He is unwilling to dance to the whims of manipulative old men, and he's laid the groundwork for what he has to do. This year's Quiddich has already been cancelled, and with the shadow of the Tournament threatening him with peril, Harry's got a plan to slip the old manipulative bastard's leash. Crack-ish! Bash!Draco

Breath of the Nundu by corvusdraconis Harry Potter u:10-09-2016 - [HG/SS] AU/Crackfic: One morning, Severus Snape wakes up with a furry visitor snuggled under the quilt with him. As he pulls back the quilt, two glowing eyes lock with his, and everything is turned on its ear. As the rest of his visitor crawls out from under the covers, he realises he has a problem. There is a Nundu cub in his bed, and for some reason, she's bound to him.

Broken by inadaze22 Harry Potter u:07-15-2009 - He felt something close to pity for the woman in front of him. And while that disturbed Draco to no end, what really disgusted him most of all was the harrowing fact that someone or something had broken Hermione Granger's spirit beyond recognition. Revised 2019. Update your Epubs.

Broken Bonds by broomstick flyer Harry Potter u:01-28-2015 - Harry is not happy about the adult responce to the Dementor attack in Little whinging. His letter to the order at Grimmauld place has some unforseen consequences some of which turn out quite good for both Harry and Hermione.

Broken Feathers by naarna Harry Potter u:08-26-2020 - It's been eight years since Draco last spoke with Hermione, and now she has disappeared. Will he put everything into finding her? WIP. Dramione. Creature!Hermione. EWE. (COMPLETED)

Building a Life by redhead414 Harry Potter u:04-23-2012 - A 12 Part Epilogue to "It's All Uncharted."

Bundle of Joy by LadyTuesday Harry Potter u:06-03-2013 - Seeking: An intelligent, capable wizard amenable to assisting a bright, independent, magically-formidable single witch in the conception of a child. Insemination only: no sexual congress; non-negotiable. Further contact will be established following receipt of preliminary letter of interest. Address all inquiries by owl to Joy Bundle c/o Hogsmeade Owl Post.

Burning Boils by SilverAngel99 Harry Potter u:09-28-2005 - COMPLETED! It is the end of the 7th Hermione is overcome by a strange illness that can be cured by a potion. Unfortunately, Madam Pomfrey is ill as well, and Snape is called up to take care of the young Gryffindor. What happens when she needs his undivide

Calculation by fringeperson Harry Potter u:12-08-2011 - Young Harry liked numbers, he liked using numbers and working out the value of things. When he found out that he was a wizard and had a big pile of gold... well, he had something new to calculate. oneshot, complete, don't own.

Can You Manage? by bruhdawg Harry Potter u:07-30-2021 - "'Are you sure you can manage it, Granger'" - Hermione has, once again, gotten caught for being out after hours. Dumbledore and McGonagall agree that the best punishment for her... is to work for the slytherin quidditch team. How will she survive? - dramione *sexual content and slight sexual assault/harassment* *All characters and majority of settings belong to J.K Rowling*

Cards of Truth by cleotheo Harry Potter u:06-27-2018 - When Snape catches Harry and Ron with a card game designed by the Weasley twins, he decides that the seventh years should play as it's nearing the end of the year and all their work has been done. However, the game reveals a few secrets, and more are revealed when the game continues in the head dorms. Fun and light-hearted one-shot.

Cat got your tongue? by VaingloriousHound Harry Potter u:09-16-2020 - Harry successfully manages his animagus transformation. And that's about all he's able to manage. Daphne's insistent attention seems entirely unmanageable for him and his poor heart. Slight AU.

Cats in the Cradle by hermionewiz27 Harry Potter u:12-16-2014 - When Minerva McGonagall heard she had to visit all of the muggle-born students in her house, she expected a tedious beginning to her holiday. When she ended up bringing a student home with her, it gave her the piece of her family she had been missing.

Champions of the Founders by StormyFireDragon Harry Potter u:04-09-2013 - What happens when the founders have enough? Why they come back and help turn the wizarding world upside down. See how people's lives will be changed and see what happens when you upset their heirs. HP/LL DM/SB

Chances Are by keeperoliver Harry Potter u:12-19-2015 - A five year old Harry is taken from an abusive Vernon and Petunia Dursley because of an accident. This accident changes Harry and these changes may decide the fate of the wizarding world. Ron Bashing. All Characters and settings are the creation of J.K. Rowilng

Change Comes to the Changeless by Lomonaaeren Harry Potter u:11-25-2022 - Fawkes thought about leaving the wizarding world altogether after the death of Albus Dumbledore. But there is another that needs his care and has attracted his fascination. Fawkes does not intend to let Harry Potter walk to his death. COMPLETE.

Changed Past by White Angel of Auralon Harry Potter u:07-26-2015 - Auror Harry Potter was hunting a criminal that caused lots of death. Just what he didn't expect was ending in the past, thanks to said criminal's actions. He was never one to sit by while injustice happened, so sitting still until he found a way home wasn't really going to happen. No matter what Hermione had told him about time-travel. One-Shot

Chaos by JustBored21 Harry Potter u:11-24-2019 - Harry gets thrown back in time and ends up in his ten year old body. This time, he's going to do everything different, this time he will have a proper relationship with the love of his life who happens to be a Siren and this time he's not playing Dumbledore's games.Dumbledore, Hermione, select Weasley bashing. Harry x original character. Crazy, overpowered and insane Harry

Chaos of the Potter Family by ReynaAtTheEnd Harry Potter u:08-08-2016 - 6th year AU. Dumbledore messed with Harry's family even more than anyone suspected. Ginny discovers that she was born Guinevere Potter. Harry discovers that, in a twisted system, the power of having multiple houses to his name is undeniable. He sets out to turn this twisted system against itself; and maybe restore the nobility of the former kings. Harry/Luna/harem, dark

Charm School by night.drive Harry Potter u:06-28-2016 - COMPLETE. Ginny Weasley finds herself trying to navigate the strange and confusing traditions of pure-blood society in Narcissa Malfoy's Charm School, where she encounters catty girls, a meticulous teacher, and worst of all, Draco Malfoy. Will she come out on top or be defeated? EPILOGUE POSTED.

Charmed to You by CJRed Harry Potter u:08-18-2016 - Hermione comes up with a charm that allows 'bonded soul' matches, something that has been unheard of for generations. What will Hermione do when her own magic matches her with Draco Malfoy? Unique pairings. This Hermione is a scarred war hero in a political job. She is not going to act like a brash teen and starts out in shock and reserved. Not for all readers.

Checklists by Gin's Comettail Harry Potter u:04-30-2009 - A G/D/B study in absurdity. Harry's left Ginny at Hogwarts, but does that mean any devastatingly sexy pair of boys can swoop in and steal her heart, Blaise wonders? To which Draco says - Wait, WHAT?

Child of Prophecy by VashonBeader Harry Potter u:08-24-2020 - Harry Potter is brought to Gringotts. Adventure ensues. Loving Weasleys, a bit of Dumbledore bashing, but not the focus. Harry/Hermione. This is a roller-coaster ride, so buckle up and have fun!

Choices by erm31323 Harry Potter u:11-14-2022 - Hermione takes a holiday before the second anniversary of Ron's death, hoping to decide if she is ready to move on with her life. Adrian is spending the last month before he must fulfill his familial responsibilities travelling on the continent. When the two run into one another, neither expect the outcome. Not Epilogue compliant

Christmas at Hogwarts by cleotheo Harry Potter u:12-22-2014 - A ferocious storm forces Dumbledore to shut Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays. However, in their haste to leave the Professors end up leaving a small handful of students behind. How will three Gryffindors and three Slytherins cope with spending Christmas at Hogwarts? Fun, festive story.

Chronos Historia by In Dreams Harry Potter u:04-08-2018 - Hermione and Draco stumble upon a mysterious portal and find themselves hurtled back through time a thousand years. Forced to team up to find a way home, they quickly realize that much of the history they believed to be fact, wasn't true after all. A founders era, time travel Dramione. Winner of Most Creative Plot in the Granger Enchanted Awards 2018.

Claimed By A Slytherin by Andy'sGirl4485 Harry Potter u:08-25-2011 - Hermione Granger had lost her bloody mind. At least, that's what the current circumstances would lead one to believe. AU HG/DM Hermione loses a bet and has to wear the claim tag of a certain Slytherin. Comedy, Romance, Fluff, Lemons and Happy Ending!

Closest When We're Very Far Away by GaeilgeRua Harry Potter u:03-03-2017 - Seven years after Hermione rode the dragon out of Gringotts with Harry and Ron, the Ministry has approved her petition to send someone to find it. That someone is Charlie Weasley.

Confused Beauty by DisneyKd4 Harry Potter u:04-04-2014 - She couldn't bring her parents memories back. She had to become a new person and befriend the Grangers as Briar Rose. As life is starting to fall into place again, one birthday changes everything -again. Who exactly are her parents? Why is Draco Malfoy back in her life? And how many more lies are there going to be?:/Pureblood Hermione -plot line loosely connected to Sleeping Beauty

Consequentially Yours by Nyruserra Harry Potter u:07-24-2009 - The war is over, and the recovering Wizarding Community adopts a new Marriage Law to cope with the sudden rise of bloodsicknesses. Poor Oliver, he's about to find out that the consequences of doing the right thing can get very out of hand! Not HBP Com.

Contrats? I Don't Need No Stinking Contracts by Alpha-The-Omega Harry Potter u:12-08-2010 - Harry learns of betrayal and shenanigans in dealing with most of the Order. WHat does he do? ONESHOT

Cornering Mediwitch Granger by Twilight to Midnight Harry Potter u:09-27-2007 - Five years after Hogwarts, Hermione is a mediwitch oblivious to the world of romance but Draco Malfoy is about to change that. If she won't admit she loves him then Draco will just have to force it out of her in the only way a slytherin sex god knows how.

Correcting Mistakes by potterlad81 Harry Potter u:09-12-2018 - At the end of his rope, Harry makes a desperate bid to reclaim his life... all of it. A brief time travel fic.

Correspondence by emikae Harry Potter u:02-22-2005 - Harry isn't getting his letters, so he take things into his own hands, and owls Voldemort to see if he is intercepting them. A surprising thing happens... Complete!

Coven of The Rose by CRose Harry Potter u:09-06-2009 - Harry's escaped from Azkaban and wants Revenge! Now this isn't your normal everyday kind of revenge, Harry is a second generation Marauder with a bone to pick with just about everyone that thinks they can just discard him like a worn out shoe

Craving Curves by WeasleyForMe Harry Potter u:02-08-2012 - Fred is surprised to find how much Hermione has grown up since her days as the Gryffindor bookworm. He's even more surprised by how much he wants her. Hermione/Fred rated M

Creative Landscaping by Acacia Vix Harry Potter u:01-14-2021 - Harry decides to let off some steam. This gives him ideas for handling the Triwizard Tournament. T rating may be overdoing it.

Crookshanks the Matchmaker by midwestern sorceress Harry Potter u:06-10-2013 - All Crookshanks wants is for his mistress Hermione Granger to be happy. But he knows she won't find the happiness she needs with the readheaded male. So, one evening, he chooses to take matters into his own hands. Or paws. H/Hr.

Cwéne by artemisgirl Harry Potter u:11-02-2016 - Hermione watches the inky sky, alone, and wishes upon a star. She wishes for an equal, someone to stand at her side as she takes a stand against the world. And when the Fates deliver him to her, the world will never be the same again.