#beau offered to go make tea with him though so thats nice

[c-kiddo]

another weirdo cad ep98 moment again . the gals + fjord trying to discuss giving veth swimming lessons and fjord mentions tying her to the ship with rope to swim (veth yelled NO!) and cad wanders past and is like Do you guys want rope i have so much rope? and when they say no thanks he's like ok bye then i'm going to go back to playing with the ship's wheel :-]

[tick-fic-nick]

Braids, Family, and Tickles

word count: 1784

Summary: No one in the mighty nein knew that Caduceus was ticklish until Jester made a little discovery. He finds out that a peaceful day can take quite the chaotic turn.

characters: (Caduceus, Jester, Beau, Fjord)

Warnings: (Tickling)

Caduceus was sitting alone on the floor in his room with the door open, in the Xorehouse. He had been meditating for an hour, when he heard someone (not so sneakily) enter his room. He opened one eye to look to see who had come in, though he was sure he already knew. He saw Jester sitting down a few feet away from him with her sketch book and regular paints.

He fully opened his eyes now and gave a small chuckle, "hello Jester." He sound happy to see her.

Jester looked up to meet his gaze with surprised

"Oh my gosh, im sorry Caduceus I didn't mean to disturb you, I just wanted to draw you but it was hard to get a good angle out there."

His posture had relaxed and he pushed his hair away from his face. "Its alright, do you need me to pose? Or should I just do what I was doing?"

She put a finger to her chin, in a show of contemplation, "Well, what if you were in a really silly pose?" She jokingly suggested " Like you could be doing a handstand or make a really funny face?"

Her suggestions made his features curl up into a smile "Well I havent done a handstand in many years. I dont think i could do one even if I tried," he brushed the hair away from his face again, "i dont know if I can make a silly face."

"Do you want to try?"

"Sure." He takes a second to think about the face he'll make before his eyes go crossed, brown furrows, face scrunched up, and he just barely sticks his tounge out. He turns to Jester "is this, uh, is this silly?"

Now the face that he makes isn't to terribly funny, but the way he executed it just makes Jester laugh, "hahaha thats a really good silly face Caduceus! But you don't have to keep that up, I can draw you how you normally are."

He had his face go back to normal, and then moved his hair out of his face again "Thats good, my mother always said that if you kept making a face that it would get stuck that way"

"Caduceus is your hair bothering you?"

He moved his hair again

"Oh, well. Its just been like this today, theres nothing I can really do about it."

"Well, why don't I help braid your hair? I used to help my Mama do her hair before her performances, I wouldn't mind helping get it out of your face for you." She already started putting her sketchbook to the side along with her paints.

"I guess I wouldn't mind, if your offering."

Jester sat up on the bed and had caduceus sit on the ground in front of her. She took his long mohawk in one hand and started to think about how she should go about doing this. She finally started to make a French braid. Weaving his hair, she could tell he was leaning into her just a little bit. Which he was.

"I always love my Mama doing this for me, do you like it?"

"Yeah, I'd say I do. It actually feels a little tickly."

"Tickly?" She laughed "like ants tickly? Or like this?" And she used her tail to lightly go over one of his ears. He twitched his ear and snorted, batting her tail away. "Caduceus! Stay still, I almost lost a hold of your braid!" She teased.

"I cant sit still if you tickle my ear" he deadpanned. Though there was a slight tinge of red to his cheeks, but Jester couldn't see it.

"Okay, okay!" She grinned, and continued her work. After a few more minutes she finished the braid and tied it off with a band she hand around her wrist. Hopping off the bed she stood in front of him, and looked at her hard work. "Oh my gosh, Caduceus, it looks great!"

"Does it really?" He stood up and looked at the mirror in his room and gave a laugh, "thats funny."

"Whats that?"

He looked down at her "I look like my sister." He chuckled again looking back into the mirror, not seeing Jester look of mischeif.

"You know caduceus." She walked closer to him "I dont think anyone even knew your were ticklish."

He froze for a second, before he turned to her and put his arm at her forehead. Impending her movement forward. "I have siblings Jester, I wouldn't do that if I were you."

Her goody smile turned into one of determination "well if you going to play that card, then im going to play my own!" She walked away from him and ran out the room and down the stairs.

It didn't quite click to him that she was getting reinforcements, so he picked up her sketchbook and paints of a nearby shelf.

                                         ______________________

It was a little bit later, after dinner. Most of them were sitting in their living room except for Caleb and Veth who were working on a spell, and Yasha, who went to her balcony to listen to a nearby storm.

The rest were having a nice conversation and enjoying each others presence, Caduceus had put a pot tea on to start cooking and got up to get it when it was ready. When he got back he put the tea on the center table to cool off, and took his spot on the floor.

They were talking nonsense about a schrodingers skeleton, or something of the such, whatever it was, it was amusing.

Though the conversation was stopped when Caduceus snorted, and his arms came to protect his ear and neck. The culript of this reaction sitting next to him with a bright smile on her face.

Fjord looked up with amusement at him "Caduceus are you alright?"

He stammered, his face flushed "oh well, I--" he was cut off by Jester

"Oh, hes fine Fjord. He's just a little ticklish."

"Caduceus, your ticklish?" Beau looked up towards the tall firbolg, who has a wobbly nervous smile.

Jester answered for him again sitting a bit closer to him "his ears are, but I dont know about the rest of him." She reached out her hands but she got stopped again by his arm to her forehead.

He put up his other hand to the other two "yes I am ticklish, but if you tickle me I will get every single one of you back for it."

Fjord look towards to Beau, with a mischievous grin "Beau, did you hear that? I think he just threatened us? How rude"

"Yeah, its almost like he's asking for us to teach him some manners" she looks back towards Fjord playfully punching her fists into her palms.

"Oooohh Caduceus, your in so much trouble!" Jester wiggles her fingers towards him without getting any closer because of his arm. His flush spread to his ears and neck, he quickly turned away from her and looked at the others.

Though he panicked when he only saw fjord right in front of him. He tried to turn around to look behind him but he was pulled down onto the floor by Beau, who had stuck up behind him.

He looked up at the three who stood over him, which seemed to spark many memories of his childhood tickle fights with his siblings. Beau climbed up and sat right on his waist, making sure he can't move. Jester hopped over to his head and sat next to it, playing with the cloth near his shoulders and neck. Fjord sat near his knees and legs.

Beau looked down at him, mostly deadpanning, but he could sense some satisfaction when she said "its nothing personal, man. Think of it more like uh.. an initiation!"

Jester spoke up and leaned over his head, her face upside down from his angle "yeah, totally. Cause you always sit out our tickle fights caduceus."

Fjord peaked around from beau "its almost a right of passage." But caduceus could quiet see any of them. His hands rest on top of his rosy face.

He groaned, "please just get it over with, you guys are horri---EEe"

His request was cut off from a squeak that erupted from his mouth with died down into soft almost quiet giggles. His body shook and he squirmed at the tickly feeling getting poked and proded around his torso.

Jester followed Beau's lead and playfully jumped her fingers around his neck and ears. His giggling got audible with her contribution and the hands that were covering his face twitched and flung to her hands trying to catch them.

"Hehehehehe wahahahait! Dohohohont! Ahahaha hehelp"

Fjord voice popped up through the laughter "help? I think I can assist you, Caduceus."

"Nohoho!"

"Oh nonsense I'm happy to help. Do tell me though, is this a good spot?" His hands spidered around Caduceus' knees, even though there was he was wearing his normal baggy pants, it didn't seem to matter. His volume increased quite a bit. So did his squirming. His legs shook and wiggled, trying to get away from the tickling. "~I think it is~"

"Nohohohoho! Not thahahahat kihihihind of hehehehehelp!"

"How about this then" jesters voice said right before he felt one of his arms getting restrained by Jester. She then started to slowly poke and scratch down his restrained arm teasing the sensitive area. "Is this helping?"

He shook his head no and started whining clawing at her hand with his other arm, but no use "Not thehehehere Jehehehester"

"Why? Is it tooooo ticklish?" She attacked on the last word wiggling her fingers down into his hollowed pit.

His laughter started to boom, and go up an octave. Beau suddenly found it more difficult to stay straddled on her firbolg friend. And jester almost lost her hold on his arm.

"HAHAHA, STAHAHAP STAHAHAP. NOHOHOHO! UHUHUNCLE! UHUHUN HAHA"

Both fjord and beau stopped tickling and just watched jester slow down and unrestrained his arm. His laughter just stayed at giggling.

Beau got up off caduceus, and stood up looking down at the giggling, out of breath firbolg on the floor "hey man, you good?" She asked

His giggles had mostly subsided and one of his hands still covered his face. He looked at each of them. His wobbly smile turned into an amused smirk. "You all, are in such trouble"

Everyone gave amused somewhat concerned looks at each other while caduceus got up and walked towards the tea pot that he'd set down earlier. He picked it up with one hand and looked back to the three, slightly out of breath.

"Hey look, the teas ready"

[chipsanddespair]

Clinton Naik

Argh, Im so angry today.

I dont know where this anger came from, but Ive just been cranky all day. I woke up and I just felt bored, and angry because of it, and so complacent and dissatisfied. My whole life, those who are in my life, my body, my bank account, where I stay…just, e v e r y t h i n g made/makes me unhappy. I want it to be better than it is right now. I just wanted some fun activity to wake up and do this Saturday. I wanted a partner to get up with me and motivate me. I wanted a house to myself to wake up and dawdle around in whilst I still woke up. I dont want a dog but I cant let him go. I do everything I can to make sure he is well taken care of still, but at the expense of my own happiness. He is a handful. He is too active and eats anything for any reason. Hes a bulldog but looks like a pitbull, so people judge him by his breed and I can tell they look at us like we are a part of a gang or something and it really pisses me off. It hadnt even reached midday yet and the downward spiral was beginning. I dont have that much money in the bank thanks to my obsessive need to pay back things and not be in debt. Even though Ive set it aside, as in most of what I earned this payday, I still feel snowed under and I will have to use my credit card and thus in turn, pay that back in the future. Earlier I was shown a bit of attitude from Beau about sending him some money to pay back for the times hed paid on my behalf. I thought I sent enough, I cant be sure because I didnt keep track of all the times and what that added up to in the end. Just know this, I have spent well enough on behalf of him too and havent seen compensation for that - it just set me right off to notice this ungrateful trait. I gave what I had left to him. He is the one that quit his job to pursue his passions and cannot control his impulsive preference for fresh cooked food (i.e. take out). This is a personal rant that probably wont make sense. Im not writing it to make sense to anyone. Im just letting whatever needs to come out, come out. Im still pissed off. I dont feel like this relationship works anymore. I dont want to take care of anyone else except myself, maybe I should re home the dog for my well-being. I try my best with him but its just getting too much. It does not help that we live in a small place unsuitable for dogs and we make do with the space we have but its just, no backyard equals poop stops out on the roadside. Anyone reading this would probably judge me, people tend to do that, and I totally get it. I kind of walk the same line as well sometimes. But argh, I just need to complain, pettiness and all. Because Im feeling better as I do it. I had a long phone call today with my Dad. I hadnt spoken to him in ages and it was nice to catch up. I got mad though, he has a knack for not listening. Or you say something and hell say something different as if he wasnt listening. Or hell retell a story hes told a thousand times. I need to be easier on the people who retell me stuff, I just have a big ego and that ego doesnt want to be seen as stupid. Im still mad, but better. I just want to get out of here, I want to drive a thousand miles in one direction and not have to worry about anyone else or any responsibilities. I caught my reflection in the mirror, I exhaled and relaxed my stomach and it spilled out. I look like Im pregnant and my back hurts because of all this weight. Does anyone ever get caught in that pit of despair where they just cant talk. I dont want to cry for help because Im angry at every single person I think Id meet, but I most definitely need some kind of help, or something, I dont know. Conflict is the worst. I need to hold on to hope, and cut this rage in half. Sit down with it for a bit and let it tell me what it needs to. Im not mad at anyone, I truly am not. Im disappointed, maybe, that people cant read my mind, or they arent empaths so they cant understand what I feel and give me what I need. So in turn, I need myself. This is just a slump. A rough patch on the windy road to happiness. They say happiness is a choice, and okay, I choose to be happy now. I have identified my anger, I have identified my dissatisfaction with my current relationship. I have identified that what I am doing now makes me feel somewhat better. I go back and forth still, angry and okay, angry and okay. An annoying song always played on the radio echoes in my head and it only serves to irk me. Is it wrong of me to want the hurricane to come down here and devastate. If it were only me, I would be all for it. No one else would have to get hurt. Im weird like that. I feel like I have such a mundane life that anything like fire drills, floods, tremors, anything that will rip me out of everyday life, those things will liberate me and I will have something else to live for. My basic needs will be more important than my need to go to work and pay bills and expenses. That I will have to survive and experience the thrill of survival rather than crawl through this oppressive corporate world. When I had a freak out like this, mid-January some time, or February. I remember just collapsing in on myself. I couldnt speak, I couldnt feel anything good. I lay down, I wasnt even sleepy, I cried and cried and every emotion was just desolate and I couldnt get up or eat. Beau was there however he could be, but its never quite what I think I need? I appreciate what he does, in all his limited knowledge, but theres something thats missing, compared to someone who has had years in this world and lived an involved and rich life, does that make sense? I need someone, who knows what its like to suffer and have come to terms with their torment, not someone who has known anxiety all his life and not fully reflected upon it. Its not his fault though. Nothing that happens to me is anyones fault, I must remember that. I choose who is in my life, and because of how I have chosen to go about things, I have no one close to me anymore. They are overseas, and available by message but I cant bear to be askedHow are you? How are things? Because I have so little going on right now and I am just not in a mentally healthy space to hear about all the great things others are doing. Does that make me horrible? If it does, Im quite used to being horrible.

POSITIVE. Got to remain positive. Things that are getting me down is: EVERYTHING. BUT, what can I do to fix it?

I am okay for funds. I need to buy me food for the week but I can try and make that a total cost of $50. In that case, I will only have to repay the credit card $100 and that is doable for when the time comes. I will have to pay for gas soon, $60, $160. That is okay. Im taking Beaus rainy day fund for a ticket he racked up using my car and I will also use that for board and pay it back slowly because Im still mad he even dared call my contributionlittle given our circumstances. I will check out the gym tomorrow, have a look around, and when I have the funds, I shall join asap and proceed to go to group fitness classes after work. By the looks of it, the best classes start from Wednesday through to Sunday. Four days of seven is okay! Monday and Tuesday can be swims or dog walks. I need to get my Fitbit charged so I can monitor my calories burned. That being said, before even going food shopping, I need me a caloric diet plan and I will stick to that like no other. Its funny, my biggest personal growths are always from moments between Beau and I that further separate us. I dont know if thats actually good or not but personally I feel motivated to get myself sorted the more he makes me regret wanting to be associated together. That does actually sound really toxic, well see how we are by the years end. I should do a weight loss progress report after this. I need my weight and measurements, do some calculations for calories and then think about what I like eating and fit that into my caloric diet. What I learnt when I was having fun with this last year was that even though 1700 calories is pretty hard to stay at or under, if you go and burn a few 100 at the gym, youre all sorted! You can eat more, you dont feel like youre starving and you get to ride the wave of endorphins because of the exercise - win win!

I feel like theres something missing.

I could tidy the room a bit. I need to buy more tights - they are usually $6 a pair. I think I could get three. $178.

Oh my gosh. I owe a friend a banner designed on photoshop, and because I take a long time to do things, especially creative things since Im not bursting with ideas, that is low key stressing me out because I dont want to let him down. Oh wow, maybe thats why I have such salty feelings :o

I have to set aside some time to do that tomorrow.

On an consistency achievement note, I have been diligently salt water soaking my piercing that was giving me trouble and it looks like its settling down :)

I already feel better. You know what would make it even better, a nice hot shower. Oh yes, I feel way better. Oh hey, and why not stop there, Im going to make me a perfectly tempered hot cup of tea and tune in to a Netflix movie before I say goodnight to my subscription. I feel like rewarding my eyes and brain with the talents of Heath Ledger and his amazing portrayal of the Joker.

So, tonight:

caloric diet to be made

weight and measurements to be taken

tidy room a bit

shower

watch The Dark Knight after cup of tea is made

Tomorrow:

design banner for friend

scope out gym (maybe sign up if they offer something beneficial for me in my circumstance)

check out this yoga/pilates place near house

laundry! clothes, sheets and blankets

give $200 board to landlord

Next three days:

pay off $150 ticket

cancel Netflix

pay car rego $13

Letting out the bad unfiltered helps to clear way for the good. And planning how to get the good gets your mind thinking of how to be productive.

Thank you, blog <3