#beating heart of the institute indeed

[klm-zoflorr]

Beginning of season 4, locked up elias but now everything's falling apart 😭 none of them can handle a life without eye daddy 👁️👁️ (except melanie........)

[guided-by-stars]

Thoughts on Mister "I killed my past self so that I could live" Isabeau vs Mage "I tried my damnedest to kill my past self but couldn't do it" Loop? this has been stuck in my head for ages and I would love to hear your thoughts on it (too scared to get off Anon oopsies)

What fascinates me about that comparison is that Isabeau is often analyzed under his struggles to act. He fears being seen as a coward, when Siffrin in act 5 calls him such, he later confirms that it was indeed an insecurity of his. It’s not exactly surprising to see why- he does struggle with inaction, whether it comes to his hesitance to put his valuable input out there (despite how it could’ve incredibly helpful, he’s so smart!), or his holding back of his confession to Siffrin. However, when it comes to Changing, it seems that he never hesitated to take action, once he realized that was what he wanted.

Could this be because of the incredible strength of his desire to be different? Was it that much stronger than any of his other desires? Or was it easier because of the institutional pushing of Change in the first place?

When it comes to Loop, it’s interesting, because there are multiple meanings of “kill [their] past self.”

Of course, there’s the direct physical attacking of Siffrin that they do in act 6 (and that battle will never stop haunting my mind), where they do indeed try their damnest to kill him (open up your rib cage, take out my heart that beats in your chest) , but when given the opportunity when they win, pinning him to the floor, they can’t. At the end of the day, Loop feels like Siffrin deserves to live, deserves to win, deserves to be helped. Their pity, their care, their love, is as equally strong as their resentment, their hatred, and their burning envy in that moment. [For more on that, see here: https://www.tumblr.com/guided-by-stars/758267393131855872/when-siffrin-first-asks-loop-why-theyre-helping ] They say, shaking on top of Siffrin, hands still on their throat, eye full with tears, “I can’t do this, not when I had to see you fight so hard…!!!”

But then, there’s also the active metaphorical killing of their past self. Choosing a new name, a new role, partly because Siffrin would certainly not have trusted them as much if they knew they were also them (ironic), but also because they didn’t feel like they deserved to be a Siffrin, like they were faking being one, that this wasn’t their world anyways, so they no longer had a place in it as themselves. Despite their best efforts, though, Siffrin figures it out. Their comedy mask wasn’t able to fully conceal the tragedy underneath. At the end of the day, that transition is a construction, an illusion.

Of course, there’s a third type of killing of the self that Loop seemingly at first succeeds at, but ultimately fails at. Their Wish. They don’t even intend to do so- all they want is to escape their torment. But they give up their body and their place as “Siffrin” in that moment. Despite that though, their past self isn’t dead, not really. At the end of their battle, Siffrin smiles gently at them and says “I’m sorry, Siffrin. And thank you, Loop.” They’re both. The Siffrinness inside of them never went away, not really. That body created by Wish Craft is theirs, they grew into it, spreading into the star as a new skin, but they are still Siffrin, really and truly.

So, if we return to the comparison, it seems fairly simple why Isa was able to kill his past self, make them disappear, kill them with his bare hands, as he says, and Loop could not.

…

When Loop tries to kill the self, the first time, it wasn’t an actual choice, it’s just Craft, the second time, it’s not a true Change, it’s a facade, a mask, and the third time, deep in their heart, they don’t actually want to go through with it. When Isabeau does, it’s a genuine true change that he had the utmost conviction for.

But is it really fair to purely contrast them? Did Loop truly fail? Aren’t they similar in their method of changing and being changed? Isabeau also says this, while under the stars:

The person he was before is still here, he grew around them to protect them…an armor becoming the real thing…he wanted to become someone he would have liked to know before…

Does this not sound like someone we know? Someone who physically grew around themselves, a new form being created to protect themselves and creating a facade to emotionally protect themselves, a facade that melted into them until it became an inextricable part of the real them, trying to be helpful and useful, someone who wanted a literal other version of themselves to like them and want to know them… [clears throat]

…Isabeau and Siffrin are more alike than many realize, and it’s not just because of their mutual love of puns and lack of wanting to make the first move. They are deeply similar, and echo each other.

[im-out-of-it]

HAPPY ALEC RANT: MAINLY SHOW ALEC (KINDA BOOK ALEC) BUT HOW HAS MY BOY NOT HAD A MILLION MENTAL BREAKDOWNS?????? CHEERS TO MY MAN ALEC FOR KEEPING HIS SHIT TOGETHER

seriously alec puts up with sooooo much shit. he’s always saving jaces worthless ass, Maryse and Robert are always on him for “family honor”, jace is always yelling at him when clary goes missing as if he can be held responsible for her, and poor soul is just so unhappy

book Alec: not going to mention the writing because it’s so atrocious and ah shit, I already did!!!! seriously, Alec gets treated badly by jace mostly all throughout the series. Alec constantly has to save his life in every book. he’s made to feel that he needs to come out. even Magnus (WHY MAGNUS) is pushing Alec to come out and coming after A TEENAGE ALEC. I feel like Alec is simply not happy basically throughout the whole TMI series. he’s made to be biphobic, acting as though Magnus can’t have a past, tries to make Magnus mortal (ALEC WOULD NEVER), and dude can’t even be his own person without thinking of jace. he’s so badly written and cc has damaged his character so much. I genuinely hope in my world, he’s more like show Alec and living his best and carefree healthy life with Magnus 🥰

show Alec: MY FAVVVVVVVVV!!!!!! his parents are on him for saving the family honor and reputation (because of fucking clary ew), then Maryse gets mad after Alec finally chooses for himself, jace is always using him and expecting Alec to drop everything and save him, clary does the same and doesn’t care about the rules just what she wants. Lydia was such a small character and I know some don’t like her but at least she was nice towards Alec.

honestly in majority of the first season, everyone is yelling or getting shitty with Alec. I’m sorry but this man is so reasonable and lenient. he has let a ton of shit fly!!!! if I was in charge of the institute, I would’ve shipped clarys annoying ass off somewhere else. sorry but not my problem 💀 and the way jace treats Alec is unforgivable. I really wanted Alec to give in and go off completely. I’m glad he stands up for himself cause boy did not have the honor to do it in the books. we know we get the “I’m not your bitch” line but let’s be honest, Alec isn’t his own person.

I’m just amazed he never went completely unhinged. Magnus, Lydia, Izzy (mostly) are probably the only people who are nice to Alec and don’t treat him badly. a little bit of Simon too!!!!! Alec seriously deserved a huge vacation after season one. I’m amazed he stuck by jaces side after all jace did. let that fucker die and stay dead, please!!! IM SERIOUSLY BEGGING AT THIS POINT LMAO

just major props to Alec for not losing his shit and being one of the best characters ever. I can see why Matt is so proud of Alec and whoever changed show Alec and made him better, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY COLD HEART SERIOUSLY THANK YOU

because what the fuck was it with jace saying “oh Alec will be here.” like Alec has made it clear that he doesn’t want to be involved with all the missions clary is trying to accomplish (bitch there are rules wtf), resulting in his family’s reputation, Izzy being almost deruned. he expects Alec to do whatever he says. and then when ms. I don’t care about the rules so I’ll run away does indeed run away, jace says Alec isn’t doing his best. might I add, is crossing the line. Alec has done so much for you, you ungrateful unworthless ass!!!!!! somebody needed to beat this child I swear

he gets to be happy with Magnus and actually shows what a healthy and fun relationship is. tries to change the relationships between downworlders and shadowhunters. MAKING HISTORY!! is probably the best leader ever in my opinion. he’s just out here thriving

also wish they would’ve kept his sassiness throughout the seasons. imagine his range and sass please. WE NEEDED IT

[celestine-witch]

I

I’m sorry WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

There’s— there’s so much, too much— to go over!

First off: The Magnus Institute

I think that The Magnus Institute, Manchester, may have had similar “keep the powers in balance” goal that the OIAR has. Mr. Kennings mentioned the need to balance optimism and despair for their “Grand Ritual.”

And Dr. Welling’s “dome” in London would be too skewed toward fear to be useful. That, already, is so different from the Institute we know. And this is an internal memo between the higher-ups, there’s no reason to sugarcoat the mission here.

Second: Alice & Colin

So like, Colin’s been trying to sabotage the system, right? We can all agree?

Also: good to see that Lena is genuinely worried about Gwen. Speaking of…

Third: GWENDOLYN MY BABY (and Team Avatar)

OK OH FUCK INK5OUL CAN FUCK WITH ANY TATTOO GODDAMN

Alright it looks like [ERROR] is indeed an Archivist, or something like it. It Compelled a statement from Gwen just by being near. goddamn!

Side note: Gwen is not beating the Jon-parallel allegations. A traumatic childhood experience with the supernatural? And “swarms of writhing bonewhite maggots”?

Also: the fact that Ink5oul and [ERROR] just casually know each other is funny to me. Esp since Ink5oul’s reaction to it showing up is less “what the fuck” and more “oh not this asshole.”

It’s super interesting that they seem to be fighting over prey, though. Maybe Ink5oul will have a change of heart and join the OIAR with [ERROR] taking over their hunting grounds.

Side note: I hope Gwen’s unfinished tattoo disappears. Only thing worse than a whole tattoo from Ink5oul is a shitty, half-finished tattoo.

Or who knows, maybe they somewhat managed to finish, and Gwen can just summon scorpions now. Idk that’d be cool.

[daphnefisherofficial]

bugna: TAKIPSILIM | destiny's twilight

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Pairing: MCU Moon Knight System (Marc/Jake/Steven) x Avatar Fem!Reader

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CHAPTER ELEVEN - WHEN THE SPARKS FLY.

The morning sun cast a warm, golden glow as you arrived at the British Museum. The vast marble halls were shrouded in shadows, and the soft hum of your footsteps echoed through the quiet corridors. The museum was still asleep, its grand halls devoid of the usual bustling crowds. It was a serenity that you cherished, a rare moment of solitude amidst the treasures of the past.

You went about your usual duties as the curator for Egyptian art, culture and history. The most recent exhibit you’ve curated was just a week away from its grand unveiling, and you were determined to ensure that every detail was perfect. It had been months of meticulous research, curation, and preparation, and now the finishing touches remained.

With a clipboard in hand, you stood before the massive wooden doors that led to the exhibit. You glanced down at your notes, a few final checkmarks and questions to answer before the exhibit could be considered complete.

You moved gracefully among the ancient artifacts and relics, your fingers gently brushing against the aged stones and intricate hieroglyphics that told stories of a civilization lost in the sands of time. As you began your rounds, you started examining each artifact, scrutinizing the placards, and ensuring the lighting was just right. You continued adjusting the display cases and noting any minor issues. However, something about the exhibit still nagged at the corners of your mind, a lingering doubt that you couldn't quite shake.

While contemplating what on Earth you could’ve missed, you’ve started making your way towards the heart of the exhibit where the grandeur of the Ennead was on full display. The lifelike statues and intricate artifacts seemed to come alive in the soft illumination. It was here that you found a familiar looking British chap standing in quiet contemplation before a colossal statue of Ra, the sun god. 

Each passing day at the British Museum was a dream come true for Steven Grant. As the morning sun filtered through the museum's massive windows, he wandered through the gallery room that housed the Ennead exhibit that you’ve curated, absorbing the knowledge that surrounded him. Being a tour guide at this prestigious institution was a privilege he cherished.

And there was one person who had made it all possible— you. 

Steven couldn't help but feel a profound sense of gratitude towards you. Your passion for ancient Egypt had not only enriched his life but had also given him a purpose. He had spent countless hours studying your exhibits, absorbing your wisdom, and striving to emulate your dedication to preserving the past.

That particular morning, Steven had decided to arrive at the museum earlier than usual. He wanted to practice his tour guiding skills at the Ennead exhibit, where your curated treasures awaited their grand reveal. The prospect of guiding museum visitors through the exhibit both excited and terrified him, and he needed to rehearse his words and gestures until they flowed naturally.

"Steven," a familiar voice called out to him softly, prompting Steven to turn in your direction. 

“Oh, morning, love”, he greeted you with his familiar warm wave, his expression a mixture of surprise and delight. "I didn't expect to see you here so early."

"I wanted to make sure everything was perfect before the big day next week”, you smiled warmly as a strange, fluttering sensation enveloped your heart at his term of endearment. “But it seems you beat me to it."

“I wanted that day to be perfect as well”, Steven nodded, his eyes now shifting back on Ra’s statue before him. "I mean, it would technically be my first day as an official tour guide, innit?"

“Yes, indeed”, you spoke softly, joining him before the statue of Ra as you contemplated his words, a warm smile spreading across your face. "But your shift isn’t due to start until nine o’clock today, why come here two hours early?"

"I wanted to get some practice in before the exhibit opens next week”, Steven nodded again before clearing his throat, feeling a bit self-conscious as his gaze never left the statue. “I hope I'm not intruding or anything."

"Not at all! In fact, I could use your input”, you shook your head, your enthusiasm infectious. “Would you mind taking a good look at the exhibit and telling me what you think?"

"I'm not sure I have much to offer compared to your vast knowledge." Steven’s voice was a bit hesitant, feeling uncertain about his expertise compared to yours. He was taken aback by your request, as he was just a tour guide and you were already a curator.

“I’m sure we both know that’s not true”, you countered playfully, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You already passed the guided tour evaluation with flying colors, Steven, so I never doubted your knowledge for a second. Besides, I've always believed that the best creations are born from collaboration and diverse perspectives."

“Are you absolutely sure, Mira?” Steven slightly tilted his head, his initial hesitation beginning to melt away at your genuine interest in his opinion. “I wouldn’t want to impose–”

“I’m absolutely sure, Steven”, you said, guiding him with both your arms as you both approached the nearest artifact. “Let’s start here”

He leaned closer as the two of you began to examine the artifacts and read the descriptions together. As he started to share his professional opinion, his words flowed with a depth of understanding and an enthusiasm that matched your own. You listened intently, realizing that you had indeed made the right choice in hiring him as a tour guide.

Hours passed in this way as the two of you engrossed in discussion, discussing the finer details as you occasionally consulted your notes. Steven’s knowledge of ancient Egypt was extensive, and he pointed out subtle nuances that could enhance the exhibit further. You jotted down a few of his exhibit suggestions, impressed by his insights and grateful for his input.

As the morning sun rose higher in the sky, bathing the gallery in a warm, golden light, you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of satisfaction. The Ennead exhibit was already a masterpiece, but with Steven's contributions, it was set to become a transformative experience for anyone who walked its hallowed halls. 

It was finally the day of the exhibit unveiling at the British Museum, a momentous occasion that had been months in the making. The gallery room was abuzz with activity as staff and volunteers scurried about, putting the final touches on the exhibit that would soon be unveiled to the public. 

You stood at the threshold of the bustling staff room, your heart brimming with a mix of excitement and anticipation as you watched the tour guides gathered inside with you for a final briefing before they would introduce your exhibit to the eager museum guests at the entrance. Adjusting their clothing and reviewing their notes one final time, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and camaraderie. They were a diverse group, each with their unique strengths and quirks, but all united by their passion for sharing knowledge. You knew that they would do a fantastic job, just as you had done when you first started out in the museum industry.

Standing in the staff room, you addressed the group with warmth and encouragement.

"Ladies and gentlemen," you began, your voice projecting with confidence, "I want to thank all of you for your dedication in making this momentous day a success for all of us. You've worked tirelessly to prepare for this exhibit unveiling, and I have no doubt that each one of you will do an outstanding job."

"Make this day a memorable moment for our guests”, you gave each tour guide a reassuring smile and continued. “I have complete faith in you all. Good luck!"

As the tour guides began to file out of the staff room, you couldn't help but notice Steven Grant in the corner, nervously fiddling with his necktie. His brows were furrowed in concentration as his fingers clumsily attempted to straighten it, but the silk fabric seemed to have a mind of its own. It twisted and turned, refusing to cooperate as he only succeeded in messing it up and making it worse. 

You couldn't help but chuckle softly, your empathy for his dilemma washing over you. It was a small but telling sign of his anxiety, and it reminded you of your own moments of nervousness in the past. It was a familiar gesture, one that you had performed countless times in your early days at the British Museum working with your late husband, Darius Carter. 

You made your way towards Steven, approaching closer as you picked up a nearby water bottle from your own canteen.

"Are you okay, Steven?”, you asked, concern lacing your voice. “You seem a bit flustered.”

"I-I'm fine, love, really”, Steven looked up with a start as you approached, his brown eyes wide with apprehension. “Just a bit nervous, that's all."

You extended the drink in your hand towards him, offering a small but meaningful gesture of support. “Would you like a bottle of water?"

He accepted the water with gratitude, his hands trembling slightly. "Thank you," he mumbled, his voice wavering as he opened the cap and drank a few gulps. You couldn't help but notice how jittery he was, and you decided to further offer a helping hand. 

"Let me fix your necktie for you”, you gently spoke with a warm smile, seeing through his distress.

“Mira, it’s okay”, Steven stammered out a polite refusal. “I couldn’t possibly trouble you with this, you’ve got better things to do”

“Steven, it's okay to be nervous. It happens even to the best of us”, you raised both eyebrows and gave him a knowing look. "Here, let me help you with that." You reached out and began to rearrange and straighten his necktie, your fingers deftly working to fix the mess he had made.

Steven blushed slightly, finally relenting to your kind gesture and allowing you to step closer. "Thank you," he said sincerely, his voice filled with gratitude as his eyes met yours once more.

“Don’t worry about it”, you reassured him before continuing your work of straightening the fabric, and he couldn't help but feel a strange sense of comfort wash over him.

“I’m really sorry about this”, Steven apologized profusely. “I’m obviously on edge about today, and I need to bloody relax”

"Believe it or not, I’ve been in your shoes before”, you smiled warmly at him, your eyes filled with understanding as you couldn't help but share a piece of your own history. “It's nerve-wracking, I know. But trust me, you're going to do great out there”

His nerves seemed to dissipate with each word you spoke, replaced by a growing sense of confidence while you continued adjusting his tie.

"I remember what my late husband used to say," your voice was soft with nostalgia as Steven listened intently, his gaze locked onto yours. "He told me that the nerves I’m having back then are just a sign that I care, that I’m passionate about what I’m doing. And that same passion is what I see in you, Steven"

Steven's eyes softened as he absorbed your words, glistening with gratitude. He could feel the sincerity in your voice, and it gave him a sense of comfort and courage. With the necktie finally in place, you took a step back, smiling at him. "There, much better."

"Thank you, Mira," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “I think I’m ready to go”

“That’s the spirit. Also, there’s one more thing if you don’t mind”, you said happily, your voice gentle as you slowly open your arms wide before Steven as an invitation. “May I?”

Steven hesitated for a moment, his nerves still present but gradually dissipating. He nodded, and you stepped into his embrace, wrapping your arms around him. His warmth and the scent of his cologne enveloped you, and for a moment, you both stood there in silent support.

He pulled you closer as his arms wrapped around you, and you could feel the tension slowly leaving his body. You whispered words of encouragement in his ear, showering him with compliments. 

"You're an incredible person, Steven”, you told him. “I've never doubted your skills and expertise for a second. Be proud of how far you've come."

Steven's heart soared at your kind words, and his nerves dissipated like mist under the sun, replaced with an insurmountable amount of courage and determination flooding his veins. He knew then and there that he could face the crowd with his newfound confidence.

Finally, you leaned back slightly, softly disentangling your arms from around his torso. But to your mild surprise, Steven wasn't quite ready to let go. He tightened his embrace, keeping you in his arms as his hands were placed firmly on the small of your back, closing the distance between you both. His latest actions prompted your palms to land on his upper chest, your fingers slightly curled at his shoulders to steady yourself.

Your soft laughter filled the room, thinking his nerves were acting up again. "Need another hug to lift your spirits?" you asked, ever the supportive mentor as Steven allowed himself a breathless chuckle at your words.

He looked into your eyes with an intensity that made your heart race. "Actually," he said softly, his voice low and husky, "I'd like to do something else, if you’ll allow me."

You nodded, intrigued by his request. "Of course, Steven. What is it?"

Allowing him to do as he pleased, he slowly leaned in closer before softly resting his forehead against yours. His eyes then closed, and you could feel his warm breath against your skin at the close proximity. It was an unexpected gesture, and a charged silence hung between you as the world around you faded away, leaving just the two of you suspended in that intimate space. 

In that moment, you were acutely aware of the electricity in the air, the undeniable connection between you and Steven. Time seemed to stand still as you both lingered in that tantalizing space between desire and restraint.

And then, as the tension reached its peak, you asked him softly, "Does this help?"

His eyes slowly opened, not uttering a single word as his heated gaze held yours. You found yourself getting lost in the depths of his brown eyes as you felt your noses softly bumping together. You could feel the heat of his breath mingling with yours, almost hearing your own heart beating in sync with his own.

“Yes”, Steven whispered, your faces barely an inch apart as his gaze dropped to your lips, the tension between you both now palpable. The urge to kiss you is becoming a strong thought engulfing Steven’s mind at that moment, your palms moving towards the back of his neck to ground yourself.

The anticipation crackled between you as the sparks flew, and the world seemed to hold its breath, waiting for your next move.

END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN.

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commissioned artwork from @lindsaynid_arts (check out her amazing works on IG and commission/support her if you can)

[penguin--person]

10. If your character is an antagonist or something of the like, do they self-justify their actions? If so, how? (kozlova)

28. What emotion is the most unfamiliar to your character and how do they deal with it? (alik and/or nastya)

31.What genre of music does/would your character love? (kozlov)

like with the one you sent me the character after the questions are just suggestions !! answer about whoever if you want >:D

aa thankies!!!! 💥💥💥

10. id say that kozlova, while not with malicious intentions and not a villain, is an antagonist indeed !! to certain characters... points at ája points at nastya. she does care for them!!! in one au she even saves ája. but like, she still does unethical experiments on them. her care for nastya doesnt stop her from vivisecting her on the daily. though alík would never blame her for how shes treated, saying kozlovas just doing her job, its still like... still messed up !!

as for how she justifies her actions... i dont think she lies to herself that shes doing a Good Thing. deciding which mutants should be terminated when their budget is cut isnt fun for her. but i think shes got a "somebody has to do it. if i dont do it, somebody else will" mindset.. as well as the regular "for science!" approach at the Zh. I. Alferov National Institute of Anomalous Research hehe

so shes just !! idk. its a necessary evil. i dont get to talk about this side of kozlova much hehe... shes not happy about it, she doesnt revel in it !! but like. she Is right that if she doesnt do it, somebody else will. might as well be somebody that doesnt delight in hurting people, that will hurt the subjects in the gentlest way avalible.

28. for alík, in her pafl canon, id say, regrettably, like.. and for nastya too i think but in her every canon. i think.. just feeling safe? alíks like this in the alnst au too but in her human au shes jsut some guy shes happy. its not easy but shes happy.

she cannot be safe at the facility, nor if she escapes, nor if she never gets there in the first place !! nastya... god id have to do a 10 thousand word essay on why she never feels safe anywhere. blame her parents blame the school system. i think.. smth interesting about her and dasha is like.. even with dasha being a bit meanies at times and not letting nastya smoke her cigs .. she doesnt report nastya, yea?? and like. thats all that nastyas asking for, ever. i dont think they could be healthy like i think itd be funny if nastya still stabs dasha at some point. but like. not being reported is the bare minimum for nastya. she coiuld feel a bit safe after some time maybe:) and i think thatd scare her ❤️they call her the Vane - Heart's Claws, the Weevildoing - Deviant, they call her the Normal Girl.

i think alík, while also scared if she started to feel safe, i think she'd cling to it, unlike nastya. nastya goes into fight mode and then flight mode (first comes fawn mode) if she gets scared like that. but alík !! like. i think.. im gonna use sanya as an example. i thinkkkk. shed cling to sanya as much as she could without being weird. in a Dont Leave Me way but also in a Hii Im Scared way ??? idkkk !!! alík clings to the feeling of safety while nastya punches it with her mega fists. is that anything boss

31. oh i found osme music!!! isome time ago!!! i think he'd like depeche mode :) i think hed like mcr too tbh i just dont think he'd know them. if dasha or roma or zhenya introduced it to him i think hed like it... also just like instrumentals...

i like to think that, like a dumbass, he listens to music in the zone with some kolya-ass headphones... kozlov!!! kozlov theres an anomaly behind you watch out!!!!! NOOO FUCK!!! hes listening to lofi hiphop beats to relax/study to he cant hear us fuckkk!!!!

[hypnolurker]

The Lost Time Traveler

Editor's note: this story contains scenes of non-consensual or reluctant sex.

*****

When Maria stepped through the temporal rift she had no idea where it would take her or even if she would survive. She was a very inquisitive researcher and the only one in her department with no family tying her down and brave enough to actually go through this thing. They had already performed tests to determine that it was stable and theoretically she should be able to travel through the rift unharmed and end up in a different time period. There was no real way of knowing if it was true however until she courageously took the first steps through the rift.

Armed with a notebook and a camera to record her surroundings she headed through. It was nerve wracking, taking that first step forward into the unknown. She felt she should make a speech, one small step for man or some such spiel. However she found herself far too nervous and anyway only a couple of her coworkers from the research institute were there as the general public had been kept from the rift for safety concerns. She moved ahead, plunging into the rift and seeing nothing but pitch black void as her whole body started to get sucked further into the terrifying portal. Her heart raced so fast and she couldn't breath as her vision blurred for a second and all her senses were dimmed as reality around her warped and swirled like a freakish dream.

Then she was through. Almost instantly she was simply standing in a field that stretched as far as the eye could see. The sun beat down on her back as she stared blankly trying to compute what she had just experienced. Her mouth was agape and she simply shivered in excitement and relief. She actually made it!

What's that smoke? Oh god!

She threw the camera to the side as it seeped gray wispy smoke and crackled. The rift must have interfered with the electronics somehow. This was important to take note of, not to mention highly frustrating as there would be no video record of her groundbreaking first trip through time. She jotted down her observations in the notebook.

"Successfully passed through temporal rift. No injuries to report. Camera has been rendered unusable, presumably by interference from rift. I am in a field which appears to be part of some farmland, there is a small building in the distance which may be a farmstead or barn. I will approach and attempt to ascertain whether I have indeed achieved a temporal shift and, if so, determine the current year." She noted before marching off towards the building.

She knew that she had a limited time to investigate the area before she had to go back to the rift, which would only stay open for a certain amount of time before collapsing. Based on models her team had made using data from several similar rifts, they predicted that this one would remain stable for approximately one hour after she passed through. As a safety precaution, she had been instructed to return as soon as possible, and no later than 30 minutes after entry. While this information hung in the back of her mind, Maria had just arrived and intended to make the most of her time here. She began to explore and slowly approached the building.

When she reached what looked to be a not too shabby barn area she noted the architecture. This wasn't modern. When was it built? She wasn't a history buff and thinking about it, that was somewhat of an oversight in the planning of this expedition. Still it seemed judging by the cleanness of the air and the lack of any recognizable cities or landmarks in her vision that she had indeed traveled a significant amount backwards through time.

She wandered into the barn and looked through the stables. Inside there were horses braying and shifting their hooves and they quickly drew her attention as she took a moment to admire them. What a beautiful horse this one was, chestnut brown with a long dark mane and-

Shit! A creak from behind startled her but it was too late for her to react. In an instant, large arms reached out from behind and snatched her up. They wrapped tightly around her and crushed her chest as she struggled and screamed. A man's voice was yelling behind her but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Perhaps she was just unable to concentrate as she desperately fought for freedom. It was useless though. Maria was a petite and frail scientist and this man seemed brutish lay strong as he squeezed the air out of her lungs with his beastly, hairy, muscle bound arms.

Eventually she gave in and let her body relax in submission. She couldn't escape him and she realized that. Her notebook had dropped to the ground and she stared at it as the man dragged her to another part of the barn where he picked up an old, filthy looked brown sack and roughly yanked it over her head. He tied her arms with rope behind her back to a post and she heard his footsteps as he left the barn.

What the hell? She was sobbing in darkness as she tried to figure out what had happened. Who was that man? The farmer? Why did he just assault her and put a bag over her head? She pulled against her bindings but they were tight rather tightly and effectively and all she managed to do was work up a sweat as she wriggled around on the floor of the barn.

Then it struck her. She had to get out soon. The rift could close in less than an hour and if she didn't get back she would be trapped in this time zone. Permanently. Her thrashing grew more urgent and needy but it still failed to budge the thick rope around her wrists.

After some amount of time her heart sank as the man returned. She heard a distinct clunking as something metal dragged behind him. Then she found out what it was as she felt him grabbing her neck and clasping a massive, heavy iron collar around it and locking it up tightly. She felt the chain hanging from it sway as he shackled her to the barn.

"Please! Please stop! I have to get back to my time. You must have seen the rift in your field. It's important! You have to release me!" She begged, muffled somewhat by the sack which blocked her vision.

When the man replied she didn't know what to say. His dialect was so strange she could barely make out what he was saying but it was English. She must have gone further back than she realized if English sounded like that though. Through her hood she quietly shivered and listened as he rambled. Something about her trespassing. He thought she was...foreign maybe. Putting her in her place? She whimpered and continued to listen and poorly translate his confusing version of the language. He intended to keep her chained here and...oh god he was going to torture her. Then...sell her? That couldn't be legal even if she was in the past!

She continued to plead and beg but the farmer kicked her and told her to be quiet. He just assumed she was some kind of foreigner speaking another language and didn't attempt to understand or communicate with her. Instead her began cutting away at her clothes with a shape blade. Maria felt its cold edge grazing her skin as he carelessly tore away her clothing. He remarked something about them being inappropriate for a woman and her being better suited to sitting naked in the hey.

Maria could only sulk and whine as she felt the reality of her situation. The shackles were solid. She couldn't even see and there was just no way she could escape. No one would come through the rift after her and it would probably close soon. Then she would be trapped her in the past with this disgusting farmer to rape and abuse her. Then sold into sexual slavery, likely shipped off to some place around the world and then forced to live in filthy with no communication with her home country or chance to start a new life.

The farmer grunted and a confused Maria wasn't sure what was going on until she felt something hot and meaty rubbing up against her chest. She pulled away but that didn't stop the warm stream of piss flowing into her chest and cascading down her body as this disgusting farmer urinated on her like she was some kind of human toilet!

That was just the start though. He wasted no time in shoving her to the floor and forcibly spreading her legs. He held her down as she wriggled and begged, rubbing the tip of his throbbing cock against her opening for a while before sliding straight in with a grunt. She felt a glob of spit hit her crotch as he yelled something about her being defiled and a whore. About her natural place being a pathetic slut who serves men.

It would have just been offensive slurs that seemed insignificant compared to the way he was raping her vulnerable slit. Except that she couldn't help wondering if she was actually in a time when women were just slaves to men. Maybe he was right. Maybe in this period she would be seen as no more than a dumb, inferior piece of meat to be fucked and mocked. Even if she could escape she may never be treated like a person again.

There was something so disturbing about that as she felt him thrusting into her. He fucked her for hours, pumping cum into her pussy and ass as she laid there and accepted it. Her head was covered and she was reduced to a squirming set of holes as the farmer emptied himself into her. Slapping and beating her breasts until they were sore and bruised. Squeezing her throat until she choked to make her hips bounce on his cock. Using her as a pathetic doll to fuck and abuse.

The rift was closed. That old life in the future just a memory now as she began to adjust to her new life. It was degrading and filthy and dehumanizing but as she resigned to becoming a fucktoy for this farmer and whoever would buy her afterwards she felt like she could...learn to enjoy it. She could learn to like being pounded and coated in jizz. She could learn to like being pissed on and mocked and treated like an inferior cunt. She could...learn her place.

In this era, she wasn't a scientist or an adventurer or an equal member of society. She was a worthless cunt and it was really sinking in now. It didn't take long after that for the farmer to break her in. Teach her about what a woman was for. Fucking. Cleaning. Drinking cum and moaning like the horny idiots they are. She knew it was true. That was what she was for now. She was just his property. It actually made her excited now. Made her squirm and drip. Being his pathetic cum-dump. Something had snapped in her head and she found it easier to just embrace it. Take pleasure in being jizzed in and spat on and treated like a stupid little cunt.

In the future she was remembered as a pioneering scientist and explorer. A role model and brave woman. In this time she was a whining piece of meat for the amusement of men.

[late-to-the-magnus-archives]

Corruption snippet: WIP crossover fic for the Magnus Archives and Malevolent

This right here is the scene I've been working toward all week.

Gertrude Robinson is not the only cameo in this one.

Oh, oh, oh. What have I done?

--------------

Are you ready, Tim?

John is eager.

“Hold on. I can’t see, and I don’t want to fucking trip.” Tim carries his backpack a little distance away, leaning it beside the manky old armchair. Then he returns to the circle.

He sighs. Maybe for the last time. 

Maybe it’ll all be over.

He'd like to rest, if he's honest.

Maybe Danny's got a new hobby in the Dark World.

Tim wipes his eyes. “I'm ready,” he says, and he means it.

Step inside the rope.

Tim wonders if there’s anyone he should say goodbye to.

He decides that since no names come to mind right away, the answer is probably no.

He starts to step across.

The gunshot is so sudden, so startling, that instead, he falls over sideways, knocking over the bottle of rubbing alcohol, startled into pounding heart and gasping.

What the fuck! Tim, it’s that woman!

“What woman?” he says, scrambling backwards.

“Sorry for interrupting,” says a voice he heard earlier today.

It’s that old lady. The one from the Institute who’d been about to do something to them before Bouchard intervened.

“What the fuck, she followed us?” Tim blurts.

“I did indeed,” says the woman. “Calm down, now. This is happening no matter what, I think you know, but it doesn’t have to be painful.”

Tim feels like he’s been hit by a baseball bat, right in the head. “What? What’s happening? What are you talking about?”

Fuck. She’s got a gun trained on us, and her hand is steady. Fuck. We’re too far away to get to her.

“I haven’t seen a ritual quite like this before,” says the woman. “I’m surprised you’re trying it all on your own. They usually need more people.”

“What?” says Tim, who no longer feels like he was hit by a train, but rather by a different genre of literature entirely. “What the hell are you talking about? What do you want?”

“What do you serve?” she says.

A beat.

“Huh?” says Tim.

“I can see that thing in your head. I simply don’t recognize it. Let’s have no nonsense, now. What do you serve?”

She… she’s fully armed. The gun’s not all she has. I can see two knives, another gun, and the pockets of her jacket carry slim books that… oh. Power is wafting off them. Tim, this is bad.

“Okay,” says Tim, still on the ground, raising his hands in surrender. “Okay, I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding, here. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

She sighs.

She’s raising the gun!

“Wait, look, I’m not serving anything!” Tim shouts.

“What. Is in. Your head.” 

“I don’t know!” 

She sighs again. “You probably know my reputation. One way we do this will be painless and quick. The other will not. I do hate that second way, but if you force my hand, that's on you. So, one last time: what is in your head?”

And Tim is suddenly furious.

So many things have tried to kill or eat him in the last day that it’s abruptly become absurd.

The fact that the Cthulhu in his head is the merciful option compared to this random woman is enough to make him a little insane.

“You can go fuck yourself,” he says.

Tim!

“Your reputation?” Tim continues. “What the hell? I don’t know your reputation! I don’t have a clue who you are! What, does Bouchard have a pet serial killer, for some reason? Go to hell!”

Tim, calm down, we can’t do anything if you -

She is completely unmoved. “Tell me, when I kill you, will it die?” she says.

“How the fuck should I know? He’s been there for, like, twelve hours!”

“You poor thing.” She almost sounds compassionate. Almost. “It’s taken your sight, not only your reason. I wonder if there’s any of you left in there at all? Well, no matter. Move away from the circle, please.”

Tim…

Tim moves, puffing angrily, helpless and enraged.

If he had a bomb right now, he’d blow it.

If he had an axe, he’d throw it.

It’s the most he’s felt anything since Danny died, and he’s drowning.

He can hear her inspecting the items he put down. “What was this going to do, exactly?” says the woman. “Not that it matters, but all knowledge is good knowledge, as it were.”

She sounds like a grandmother.

She sounds like a schoolteacher.

Tim is losing his mind. “Fuck you, I don’t the hell know,” he says.

“And you were doing it anyway?” she says, and there is such contempt in her voice, such utter, disrespectful dismissal, like he’s a child, like he has no reason to feel the way he does or be depressed or want the hurt to end.

How dare she judge him?

How dare anyone?

She doesn’t know what he’s been through.

She doesn't know what he’s lost.

She’s writing her own narrative all over his life like some kind of terrible graffiti artist.

“Fuck you,” he says.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” she says, clearly amused with herself.

Tim’s hand touches the armchair, and he stills. He’d accidentally scuttled right up against it.

That means his backpack is in reach.

He can hear her messing with the salt, the water, and the bowl, the very center of the setup.

That means she’s not looking his way.

As quietly as he can, Tim reaches around and takes out the book.

Tim! Don’t!

But Tim, right in this moment, is too angry to listen.

His world fell apart, he discovered magic, he lost his sight, he’s possessed, and elderly Lara Croft has decided to stop him from making a choice he actually wanted to make?

(And that would need unpacking later, if there was a later, but right now, there is only rage.)

She must have looked up. “Drop it!”

She sees the book.

He knows, somehow, that she is afraid of the book - maybe not as much as Bouchard, but she is.

Tim!

John is afraid of it, too.

John wouldn’t tell him what the spell was for. 

You know what? Tim’s mad about that, too.

That, in the end, is why.

#

It’s the third time he’s opened this book.

The first gave him John.

The second called gray-skinned monsters to his parents’ house.

The third…

Summons a living storm.

Unable to see, he cannot grasp what is happening. Something like wind but not, something like heat but not, something like biting cold and pressing weight and thickened air all buffet him, and Tim is sliding across the weed-strewn ground until he slams against the corrugated wall.

Fuck! John is shouting. Fuck! Go right! Get behind the damn table! Tip it over and we’ll have some shelter, you fucking idiot!

As if John could possibly make him feel bad right now.

Tim scrambles where told, pushing against what really feels like extra gravity, and finds the table - just one of those cheap folding deals, probably nothing that will matter, but what does he have to lose? He tips it over and throws himself behind.

The woman is shouting - not spells, nothing like that, but certainly not in pain, either.

In fact, it sounds like she’s moving.

And shooting.

And doing… something that sounds a lot like a flame thrower, at least if the movies are correct.

Elderly Lara Croft, he thinks again, and really wishes she could see.

The whatever-it-is he set free is making horrible noises, painful bass sounds that carry no words but so much meaning his head hurts trying to understand, and Tim cries out, covers his ears, and discovers they are bleeding.

John is shouting something. Tim can’t make it out.

The woman is still alive, and somehow, still shooting. How many bullets does she have? It can’t be legal, to have bullets like that, and the fact that legal amounts of bullets even enters his head in a moment like this makes him laugh like a loon.

Damn it, Tim! he’s able to hear, and all sound suddenly stops.

In the abrupt, bad silence comes a voice.

“Oh, oh, oh, there you are! It’s been so very long.” 

And whoever said that, whatever chipper, weirdly hyperactive voice said that, its owner must be a monster, because what comes next are the sounds of tearing meat.

[saganandkatelynindc]

Day 2 - Packed to the gills with PERFECT!

July 16, 2023

What a day we have had! If I were ranking today on a 10 point scale, I would give it a 25!! Groceries were delivered in the time slot given (shocking!) and everything else fell into place, as planned - a much better day than yesterday.

Today was Sagan's oral report on James Smithson and we all learned so much. It was a firm A+++++

If you want to see the entire report it is here:

After a round of appreciative applause, we began preparations for our "lunch on the run" with sandwiches from Panera ( our next door neighbor.) Then we headed by Metro to Planet Word. Temps were in the low 70s with an intermittent spitting of rain but although we had our umbrellas, we didn't need them.

Planet Word is a GREAT museum celebrating... wait for it... WORDS: the history of language, the joy of reading and the power of writing. The exhibits are very well done and highly engaging - even the elevator is fun.

Yes - this IS the elevator!!!

The word wall is informative, interactive and brilliantly done.

After a short time exploring the general exhibits we headed into Lexicon Lane. Lexicon Lane is a combination escape room and puzzle hunt, designed to resemble an old village with the choice of 26 unique puzzle “cases” for visitors to solve. We picked our "case" and had 1.5 hours to solve the clues and save the world from disaster.

It was a blast to watch these minds in action.

Clues were everywhere, hidden in plain sight.

Needless to say, the world is in great hands!! They did indeed save the world but it took most of our time.

(True confession - LaVerne and I tried a different box last year and our time expired and we did NOT save the world nor get to ring the bell.)

I have worried and fretted and made a plan to try an beat the 90+ degree heat during our trip, but I failed to make a plan for visiting a place where the air conditioning was set to winter! I asked to have the temperature changed - and the "host" who was wearing a heavy sweatshirt, relayed my request but nothing changed. We were uncomfortably cold - but they solved it anyway. BRRRRRRRR.

We did NOT see even 1/2 of al this place had to offer, partly because once we entered an exhibit no one wanted to leave. The reading table was an amazing experience. Pick a book, open it and suddenly your book was surrounded by "extras." It was brilliant - but who wanted to leave this place?

This room, lined with books and a mirrored ceiling giving the illusion that book cases continued to the sky, also housed magic mirrors. Open the drawer, read the line and the mirror revealed the scene from the line you just read.

I LOVED that many of these books the kids had read AND way too many of these amazing booked have been banned - somewhere - but not in some back woods fascist country - but right here in the USA. The banned books were identified as such. This blatant stupidity irritates me to no end. How can we better understand you and the life you live that is different from my life if we can't walk a mile in your shoes? Sigh... I'm so proud of these kids who recognize exactly that!

We could have spent a couple more hours there - but we had a schedule to maintain so we headed out for a picnic in Franklin Park. Again we had light sprinkles but we found a table with an umbrella in this beautiful urban park and ate our lunch while we discussed Planet Word. The kids were just glowing from the experience and my heart was full.

After lunch we Uber-ed to Georgetown and the Washington Harbor to have a short cruise on the Potomac River. We really enjoyed our driver as he talked about all the things he notices that give him info that we may not even notice. For example in the city, if there are street lights, the speed limit is 25 mph: No street lights, 35 mph. He had lots of information and was very entertaining. He, a 20 year cabdriver from NYC, was proud to tell us that his kids had come to DC to attend college and after graduation had opted to stay . 10 years ago he and had wife had moved here too

The rain was gone and we enjoyed the cruise in sunshine and gentle breezes. It was great to see so many of the places we will be visiting from a different perspective. Below is Katelyn and the Kennedy Center where we will stand on the balcony overlooking the Potomac River, Thursday night.

The Kennedy Center is right next door to Watergate - FYI - so we were able to talk about that too and how the law SHOULD apply to everyone, even the rich, famous and powerful. EVERYONE!!

The photo below is THE water gate that gave the building its name - FYI. A water gate is a man-made waterway that prevents flooding an/or regulates the depth of another man-made water way, in this case the C&O canal. The Chesapeake & Ohio  Canal stretches 184.5 miles from Georgetown to Cumberland, MD. 

The heat inched up and the sun grew hotter and we opted for a break after the cruise so we Uber-ed back to our condo. Next up was a trip to the Smithsonian American Arts Museum and dinner in China Town. We all enjoyed our little rest and with the museum being open until 7:00 PM we had plenty of time. We did some prep for tomorrow and the kids wrote a postcard about their adventures. At 4:45 we headed out again by Metro.

The kids could get ANYWHERE in the city by Metro. We are giving them the destination and then they plot the course. We popped up right beside our destination and headed to the Presidential Gallery. We had a grand time, talking about what we knew about this guy and that guy. Which guy we wouldn't recognized and some of the great things different guys had accomplished. You see I'm using the word "GUY" because everyone of the US Presidents has been/still is male. I certainly HOPE that Katelyn and Sagan will live to see a female in that role. I hope I can too - but tick, tick, tick for me.

We had to wait patiently to get this pic - while there was NO line for pictures of the guy behind Obama.

Katelyn was quick to stand beside one of her heroines too. (Mine too - FYI)

I was very proud of our kids as they pointed out protraits of Marian Anderson, John Lewis, the Tuskegee Airmen and many other African Americans who have made the country great.

We closed the place down and then headed to China Town where the kids got a look at the seamy side of life. In China Town we walked by MANY groups of people using drugs. Marijuana, crack and I'm not sure what else - but they were all stoned, dirty and simply propped up against a wall. It wasn't a great scene, but it gave me a good opportunity to talk about it. Katelyn was appalled by the fact that there were two policemen standing just a few feet away - but they were. Anyway educational opportunities abound and while this was not listed as an objective for this trip - here it was.

We continued on to this little hole-in-the wall place and had some of the best food ever!! Well - Daphne didn't really love her food - but 3 out 4 thought it was fabulous food.

On the way home we had a hilarious thing happen when while heading to the Metro - Sagan said, "Why are the back of my pants wet?" Then we saw the water pouring out of his bag - POURING! We stopped and he opened his bag, took out the almost empty water bottle and handed me his umbrella that was FULL of water. It holds a LOT of water!!! Then he poured his bag out - which caused all of us to start laughing and laughing and laughing. He is pouring the water out of his bag - I'm standing with a dripping umbrella and we are falling apart. We just couldn't stop laughing which has its own issues. Anyway - we gave the kids the key to the room and when we got to the street - they raced ahead. We were all still laughing like hyenas.

After we got settled, with the wettest umbrella in the world set up to dry and the bag turned inside, we settled in to watch Part 1 of Apollo 13. It is a great movie but very worrisome...

Will they survive? We will find out on Monday..

Stay tuned...

[deceptivemorals]

💭 + Honour

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 — send 💭 + a topic to receive a headcanon about said topic. || accepting

this headcanon is going to be a long one and i fear also a confusing one.

'honor' in combination with elijah is a double-edged sword. it's also strongly connected to elijah's desire to be better / a better version of himself.

the heart of the matter is that 'honorable' is a trait elijah likes to see in others and also wishes to be himself. it’s an ideal he strives for. he knows he isn't a 'honorable' person anymore (he was as human) but he often likes to pretend he is.

human!elijah was indeed and truly an honorable person with morals. he put others before himself, he even rather took beatings himself than watch mikael abuse niklaus.

but turning into a vampire changed things. vampirism forced elijah to do things he disdained and which disturbed him. things that made him feel ashamed of himself. it made him kill people and enjoy drinking their blood (it also made him kill the woman he loved). it also enhanced traits he had better under control as a human (temper). later, while they were running from mikael, elijah did what he had to do to ensure their survival.

becoming a vampire traumatized elijah more than he is aware of and more than he ever wants to admit. it's not even entirely about himself, it's also about seeing what vampirism did to his siblings: to his sweet sister rebekah who enjoys hurting people; to his brother niklaus who used to have a sensitive side and now indulges in wars and torture; to his little brother kol who doesn't have himself under control and rips apart whole villages.

there's a diary entry of elijah in 1359 in which he writes down that he noticed that his siblings are losing their humanity and he vowed that it was his duty as their eldest brother to ensure that they stay on the right path which made him even more devoted to try and be 'better'.

he purposefully seeks to uphold the image of the being he most aspires to be; a well kept, honorable, moral man who is devoted to his family but also tries to be better than what vampirism usually stands for.

he founded the strix as an institution that was supposed to help making the world (and vampires) better: "i wanted to assemble minds curious about the world and eager to improve it, along with the time and circumstance to do so. my desire was to create an elite brotherhood devoted to a new, better civilization." - to 3x04

his idea of the initial purpose of the strix failed for several reasons and i think it also is parallel to why elijah himself too fails. because he chooses to run away and hide. because he doesn't face his problems. because he hides behind the pretense of being 'honorable' and therefore okay. this 'title' of the 'noble and honorable elijah' has become little more than a facade for him to hide behind. something that makes his deeds seem and feel less bad.

on the other hand, however, elijah still does strongly believe in trust, honesty, and loyalty. he appreciates those people who have those traits and virtues because they reflect what he actually wants to be & what he often is prevented from being.

interestingly enough, the only trait elijah could uphold is keeping his word when he gives it. being 'a man of his word' is the only thing that is still under his control, something no one else can take from him. a trait he could 'safe' from his previous life. it's the only 'honorable' thing that he has (almost) unconditional access to. it's why he is so pedantic when it comes to promises or giving his word.

his ability to keep his word is also the reason why others may consider him 'honorable' (along with the fact that he's the most reasonable of his siblings). being 'honorable' is a title, a description others put on him even without having met him before. it's a description, an expectation of others that help elijah and come in handy for elijah to hide behind his facade:

"davina: you're the one they call honorable. elijah: yes, that's what they call me. and yet, i followed my brother here to new orleans to engage in a war. so, i ask you-- does that sound honorable to you?" - to 1x05

this title of being 'honorable' is associated with elijah because he (usually) only shows others the well-kept facade. as mentioned above, he wants to be 'better'. he isn't like the rest of his siblings who kill for fun and enjoy it. he (tries to) keep his word.

but in the end, the only thing that stops him from finally achieving the ideal of 'honor' is elijah himself. because he constantly lies to himself and justifies the reasons why he does certain vile things. it's a realization elijah already had before (although 'the originals' sometimes like to act like certain things hadn't happened already in 'the vampire diaries'):

"my talk of virtue. when it suits my needs, i kill, maim, and torment. even today, i terrorized an innocent. i used your hatred of her to get what i wanted. wielded you like i would a sword. mother made us vampires. she didn't make us monsters, we did that to ourselves." - tvd 3x15

so there's again the blame and shame elijah carries. that esther only created the conditions for monsters but in the end, it was their own actions that led to things that are everything else than honorable. something which again leads to more shame and more guilt which again causes elijah to hide even more behind his facade.

"this façade, this illusion that i have created over the course of my life-- the noble stag. it is nothing more than a deception. to myself. to everyone." - to 2x11

i believe elijah can only reach his own redemption (aka becoming the honorable man he wishes to be // becoming the man he once was) if he finally finds a way to forgive himself and stops pretending that he is okay. because he isn't.

[13-frinfransstudios]

SCHOOL'S OUT, I'M BACK TO WRITING (i think)

HELLO!

That might be too...hyper??? I'm sorry

Anyway, hi! I'm back! And it feels good to be back!

Things have been happening in my life, most of them are just college shits. I had a hard time juggling writing and school so I have to leave my writing organization after just 4 months fo joining (which sucks) and I spend most of this year just..stressing out.

Trying to study hard despite feeling so bummed and down--I never liked my course to begin with--and feeling pressured because my mother wants me to do better PLUS stressing out with research because I did MOST of the parts, my members barely helping--long story, i could rant.

But now it's our semester break, and throughout this whole break, I vow to continue my writing journey. The last time I've written something I'm proud of is our narative report for our On-The-Job Training--I deeply apologize for making the language "flowery". I'll give an example:

"Honestly, I did not feel this institution like any psych wards that I visited before. In fact, the structure of the place looks more of a house and the ambiance is calm. With the place surrounded by plants and an enough space between the institution and the gate for the sun to shine over the place, it indeed feels like you are home."

It's supposed to be an academic paper, which I turned to a novel T.T

So, I happily open my laptop that has been deeply associated with the traumatic research paper for the past year. But now I can confidently push that past me and finally connect it back to writing, missing the (agressive) beat of my keyboard as I type away the thoughts of my characters, or building back a world I haven't finished constructing. I feel jitters in my heart, smile creeping up my lips. But as I open this account of mine, I thought..What now?

I scroll through numerous papers on my google docs, or looking at my Wattpas account. At the moment, I got...nothing. Suddenly the spark that glows for the moment I've been waiting for disappeared when it dsuddenly happend. So now I'm clueless, as I'm writing this. Well, I hope that the writing spark will start to return as I write this...

[argroup6]

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At the Raipur Institute of Medical SciencesThe educational program is designed to be student-centric, centering on hands-on preparation and real-world applications. This approach makes a difference to students to way better get it and retain the medical concepts they learn within the classroom. Furthermore, the foundation routinely organises workshops, classes, and visitor addresses from famous medical experts, giving students invaluable insights into the medical field.

Another critical benefit of pursuing an MBBS in Chhattisgarh at Edges is the clinical introduction students get. The organisation has affiliations with a few beat clinics in the locale, permitting students to pick up viable involvement in a genuine healthcare setting. This exposure is vital for creating the aptitudes and certainty required to end up a competent and compassionate specialist.

Besides, the Raipur Institute of Medical Sciences places a solid accentuation on research and advancement. Students are empowered to take an interest in inquire about ventures, which not as it were improves their learning involvement but also contributes to the progression of medical science. This centre of research makes a difference for students to remain overhauled with the most recent improvements in the medical field.

Edges moreover offers a steady and sustaining environment for its students. The staff and staff are continuously accessible to help students with their scholarly and individual needs. The organisation gives various support administrations, counting counselling, mentorship programs, and career direction, guaranteeing that students have the assets they have to succeed.

Living in Chhattisgarh while pursuing your MBBS can moreover be a fulfilling encounter. The state is known for its wealthy culture, wonderful scenes, and inviting individuals. As a student at Edges, you'll have the opportunity to explore this dynamic locale, making your instructive travel indeed more enriching.

In expansion to academic excellence, the Raipur Institute of Medical Sciences empowers students to take an interest in extracurricular exercises. The founded has different clubs and social orders where students can pursue their interface in sports, expressions, and community benefit. These exercises do not offer assistance in the general improvement of students but moreover give a much-needed adjustment to their rigorous academic schedules.

The admissions process for the MBBS program at Raipur Organized Medical Sciences Is direct and straightforward. Prospective students are required to meet particular qualification criteria and pass the entrance examination. The organisation moreover offers grants and financial help to meriting students, making it available to a broader run of applicants.

Conclusion

In conclusion, if you're considering pursuing an MBBS in Chhattisgarh, the Raipur Institute of Medical Sciences is a top choice. With its fabulous workforce, cutting edge offices, comprehensive educational programs, and supportive environment, RIMS provides everything you would like to succeed in your medical career. Begin your journey towards becoming a skilled and compassionate specialist by choosing Edges for your MBBS education.

[jamestahhanchef]

James Tahhan - Learn New Culinary Trends and James Professional Products

James Tahhan - Indeed each one of us knows the importance of cooking as a life skill. We love to order our favourite meal and yet we know that nothing beats a home-cooked meal! If you have never cooked anything in kitchen inspiration from Chef James Tahhan will improve your cooking skills and deliciously improve quality of your life.

The modern culinary world is exploding with celebrity chefs elevating food culture that could not have been imagined a few years ago. For Chef James food credibility apparently translated into a general stamp of approval as charismatic personality having found fame and fortune through cooking.

Demand for great food is at an all-time high with seemingly insatiable foodies. Moreover these food lovers also want to have kitchen knowledge and cooking abilities thus Chef James Tahhan ensures to think outside box when it comes to cook you a tasty meal.

James Tahhan is an inspiring chef with lots of qualities including creativity, perseverance, attention to detail, passion, community building, and leadership. He is hard-working and passionate individual driven by a desire to create amazing dining experiences for his guests. He has made a significant impact on the culinary world. chef James is constantly experimenting with new ingredients, flavours, spices and cooking techniques to create unique and delicious dishes. With the "Honest Farm Kitchen" line collection of premium quality cooking essentials designed and curated by Chef James himself he shares variety of spices with food connoisseurs. From savoury spices to delectable broths, Honest Farm Kitchen" line collection brings the expertise of a professional chef right to your kitchen.

When using Honest Farm spices, you simply need to sprinkle or rub these exquisite blends onto your dishes to elevate their flavour profiles. Each blend is crafted to complement a variety of cuisines and dishes, giving you the power to infuse culinary magic into your home-cooked meals.

One of the many popular professional products offered by Chef James Tahhan is "Esencias by Chef James”. It is a set of two candles, available individually as well. These candles are the result of Chef James's ingenuity, crafted specifically for after-cooking moments. The aromas - Baked Pear with Spices and Orange with Firewood - can evoke memories of delightful pastry scents, adding a sweet and inviting ambiance to your space.

Chef James, a culinary enthusiast whose journey began when he discovered his passion during his teenage years. Despite starting his studies in chemistry, he followed his heart's calling and pursued a culinary career. With the famous words, "Mamá, papá: quiero ser Chef," he enrolled at Le Cordon Bleu College Miami, a prestigious international culinary institute.

For more infor about James Tahhan Controversy  pls visit us:-  https://www.pinterest.com/jamestahhans/  

[suhail323432]

Digital Marketing Course in Delhi best Institute

Why Your Future Self Will Thank You for Taking a Green Box Digital Marketing Course in Delhi

Delhi, the beating heart of India, is throbbing with the murmur of digital disturbance. Businesses are taking off online, and the request for talented digital marketers is skyrocketing. But here’s the address:

are you prepared to be at the cutting edge of this advanced transformation?

If you’re indeed remotely inquisitive about building a flourishing career in the ever-evolving world of online marketing, at that point taking a Green Box Digital Marketing course in Delhi might fair be the game-changer you’ve been searching for. Here’s why

Unlock Your In-Demand Digital Superpowers

SEO & PPC mastery: Learn the magic of ranking to begin with on Google and creating focused on advertisements that snatch eyeballs and change over into faithful clients.

Social media divination: Ended up a social media wizard, conjuring locks in substance, building dynamic communities, and driving activity like never some time recently.

Content creation alchemy: Change words and visuals into gold. Ace the craftsmanship of narrating, SEO-friendly writing, and captivating copywriting.

And so much more: From mail promoting to analytics, portable marketing to automation, Green Box equips you with the full digital marketing arms stockpile.

Learn from the Industry’s Jedi Masters

Our instructors aren’t fair academicians; they’re battle-hardened advanced warriors with a long time of real-world involvement beneath their belts. They share their war stories, noteworthy bits of knowledge, and viable tips, ensuring you learn from the most excellent within the business.

Experience the Green Box Advantage

Hands-on training: Disregard rote memorization! We accept in learning by doing through case ponders, re-enactments, and real-world ventures that set your aptitudes and take off you prepared to hit the ground running.

Personalized consideration: We’re not fans of one-size-fits-all. Our little class sizes and committed educates ensure person consideration and a learning involvement custom fitted to your objectives and qualities.

Career accelerator: We do not fair educate you the aptitudes; we assist you dispatch your career. Our arrangement group gives continue and portfolio direction, meet planning tips, and interfaces you with beat companies within the industry.

Delhi, the beating heart of India, pulsates with the rhythm of opportunity. And in this digital age, the most exhilarating beat belongs to the world of digital marketing. But navigating this dynamic wilderness can be overwhelming, particularly for yearning marketers. Fear not, brave globe-trotters! Green Box Established is your cleaver, hacking through the disarray and clearing the way to a thriving digital marketing career in Delhi.

Sharpen Your Skills

Before diving into the wilderness, guarantee your apparatuses are razor-sharp. Green Box Founded offers a comprehensive weapons store of industry-relevant Digital marketing courses. Master the art of SEO, weave captivating social media campaigns, split the code of paid advertising, and open the insider facts of data-driven analytics. Our expert workforce, seasoned veterans of the digital war zone, will direct you each step of the way.

Experience is King

Theoretical knowledge is just the compass; practical experience is your map. Green Box Institute ensures you’re not just learning, but doing. Jump into hands-on ventures, tackle real-world case considers, and construct a portfolio that grandstands your advanced ability.

Network Like a Pro

The Delhi digital jungle is teeming with connections. Green Box Institute helps you forge them.Our vibrant community connects you with fellow adventurers, industry professionals, and successful alumni. Network, learn, grow, and build a support system that will propel you forward.

Land Your Dream Job

Course Name Institute Features Website

Green Box Institute 6 months https://www.greenboxdigitalinstitute.com/

Simplilearn 3 months https://www.simplilearn.com/digital-marketing

SEO Architect Digital Vidya 4 months www.digitalvidya.com/

NIIT https://www.niit.com/india/digital-marketing

IIDE 4 months https://iide.co/

DMI Delhi 2 months https://dsim.in/

VME Digital 2 months https://echovme.in/

AIMA New Delhi 3 months https://www.aima.in/

YMCA Delhi 2 months https://www.newdelhiymca.in/imsit/programme/diploma-in-public-relation-advertising-marketing

For More Information:-

Phone: 088600 84584

Address: 2nd floor, 64, Block, 17, Block 2, Subhash Nagar, New Delhi, Delhi, 110027

Email: info@greenboxdigitalinstitute.com

Official Website: https://www.greenboxdigitalinstitute.com/

[mjmm455]

Website Designing Jobs in Delhi

Are you ready to dive into the vibrant world of website designing jobs in Delhi? If you have a passion for creativity and a knack for technology, you're in for an exciting journey. In this quick guide, we'll take you on a captivating tour of the opportunities, skills, and tips to excel in this dynamic field.

**Why Delhi for Website Designing Jobs?**

Delhi, the heart of India, isn't just about historical monuments and mouth-watering street food. It's also a thriving hub for the IT industry, making it an ideal place for website designers. With a plethora of startups, businesses, and digital agencies, the demand for skilled web designers is on the rise.

**The Skills You Need**

1. **HTML and CSS Mastery:** These are the building blocks of web design. You'll need to understand these languages inside out.

2. **Responsive Design:** In the mobile age, knowing how to create websites that look stunning on all devices is a must.

3. **User Experience (UX) Design:** Make websites easy to navigate and visually appealing to users.

4. **Graphic Design Skills:** Knowledge of tools like Photoshop and Illustrator is a big plus.

5. **Coding Languages:** Learning JavaScript, jQuery, and other scripting languages can give you an edge.

6. **Content Management Systems (CMS):** Familiarize yourself with platforms like WordPress and Drupal.

**Where to Find Website Designing Jobs in Delhi**

1. **Online Job Portals:** Websites like Naukri, LinkedIn, and Indeed are treasure troves of job listings.

2. **Freelancing Platforms:** Join platforms like Upwork and Freelancer to find remote or project-based work.

3. **Networking:** Attend industry events, join design meetups, and build a strong professional network.

4. **Company Websites:** Visit the career sections of companies you admire, as they often post job openings there.

5. **Internships:** Consider starting with internships to gain experience and build your portfolio.

**Crafting an Impressive Portfolio**

Your portfolio is your ticket to landing exciting website designing jobs ,Include a variety of projects that shows your skills and agility. Remember, quality beats quantity. Each project should tell a story of your growth as a designer.

**Nailing the Interview**

When you score an interview, make sure you're well-prepared. Research the company, practice your answers, and be ready to showcase your portfolio. Confidence and passion can go a long way in impressing potential employers.

**The Perks of a Website Designing Career**

1. **Creative Freedom:** Express your artistic talents through your work.

2. **Lucrative Salaries:** Experienced designers in Delhi can earn handsome salaries.

3. **Flexibility:** Many web designers enjoy flexible work hours and remote opportunities.

4. **Continuous Learning:** Stay updated with the latest design trends and technologies.

5. **Career Growth:** With experience, you can move up the ladder to become a lead designer or even start your own agency.

**Conclusion**

Website designing jobs in Delhi offer an exciting blend of creativity and technology. As the digital world continues to expand, the demand for skilled web designers remains strong. By honing your skills, building a stellar portfolio, and networking in the industry, you can embark on a fulfilling and rewarding career in website design. So, what are you waiting for?Join our institute DIGITAL SHIKSHARTHI.

[baglove]

(via cat lovers Mask by mohammed elhachimi)

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