#beasts clawing at straws

[asian-cine-phile]

BEASTS CLAWING AT STRAWS 지푸라기라도 잡고 싶은 짐승들 (2020) dir. kim young hoon

[nine-frames]

“If you’re alive, things will work out.”

지푸라기라도 잡고 싶은 짐승들 (Jipuragirado Jabgo Sipeun Jibseungdeul - Beasts Clawing At Straws), 2020.

Dir. & Writ. Kim Yong-hoon | DOP Kim Tae-sung

[fanaticsnail]

Possessive

Masterlist here

Word Count: 1,900+

Synopsis: Rob Lucci was obsessed with you the moment the inner beast caught your scent in Galley-La. Now all alone after trailing you for a month, he finally manages to catch you and make his desires known.

Themes: yandere!rob lucci x gn!reader, yandere, dub con, mentions of beast (leopard), half-shifted lucci, feral lucci, hunting, tracking, nudity mentioned (reader and lucci), kisses, confessions of love, biting, licking, marking, leaning into a little bit of monster-loving, sfw - no smut, I think hybrid au? Hybrid nature, mentions of 'mate'.

Edit: shifter Rob Lucci, not hybrid 🖤. Thank you anon!

Notes: Yandere Rob Lucci has been on my mind lately. He needed to get out.

Tag list: @gingernut1314 @since-im-already-here @writingmysanity @indydonuts @feral-artistry @sordidmusings @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @i-am-vita @sunflowersatori @extremely-ashtridic

His eyes snapped shut as a deep shudder coursed through his body, tingles shooting sparks of ignition down his spine and up to his head. He parted his lips and inhaled a sharp, hissed breath as his canines extended, his eyes reopening and slitted pupils expanded to eclipse his irises with a feral animosity. Your sweet scent swelled his heart, his lungs ignited as his blood began to pump at the thought of the hunt recommencing. 

It had been months of withholding you from his thoughts, pushing his urges for you down as he focussed on his missions and orders granted to him from Cipher Pol. After finally being granted a small reprieve between assignments, he allowed himself the luxury of beginning his pursuit of your trail once more. 

He left Hattori behind at his base, truly not desiring the pigeon to witness his carnal desires overcome his usual stoic and cold nature. Never truly giving into his Zoan Devil-Fruit, he usually has the beast lingering and lurking beneath the surface. In truth, he had never truly desired to give in to the animal nature, desiring to remain cool and level headed in his ruthless brutality.

Until that one time your sweet scent shot through his nose and ignited his feral need to state a claim for another being. 

Meeting you and the rest of your crew at Galley-La, he was struck by your appearance and that gentle laugh you offered the sniper, Usopp, when he recounted a tale of his youth at Syrup Village. Everything seemed to slow in motion, his heavy breathing and dilated pupils were the only sounds within the crowd as he lay struck and fixated on every movement. 

He was struck dumb by your laugh, the smile held him hostage as it softly spread up your lips and painted your cheeks with your joy. It almost made him wish to fling his plans of betrayal to the wind and sink his claws and teeth into you and hold you close. His needs tugged at his heart, his instincts and animalistic nature keening and screaming at him to give in and claim you as his. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply and committed your fragrance to memory.

The taste of your skin on the wind propelled him to drive harder, push his body further, and fully give in to his cravings for you as he felt his skin shift and split to make way for fur and claws. Rolling his shoulders back, the muscles compacted first before straining to enlarge with his beastial form. 

His legs picked up as the wind brushed past his face with quickened pace. Each stride had his blood boiling, his heart soaring at the knowledge that you were getting closer and closer with each feral leap and spring he made. Another factor he took into consideration was ensuring you were far enough from your crew to not call for help. The scent of the Straw-Hats were no longer lingering near you, and he was desperate in wanting to claim you as his all alone.

Slowing to a soft prowl, his eyes finally met with your form. Stooping low, you filled up several cantinas of river water and placed them within a wicker basket to return to your crew. He inhaled deeply to catch your sweet scent on the wind, his purred growl exiting his lips with a lengthy exhale to process it. 

Head snapping upwards, you attempt to locate the source of the guttural sound. The small twitch has Lucci���s stomach coil tightly and jaw falling slack at the sight. You were just a meek little thing. So defenseless and unprotected. 

As you return to your duties of filling up the final cantina for your crew, he watches as you take a moment to look around for any danger before stripping yourself down to your undergarments and retracting your towel from the basket beneath the water containers. His breath hitches as you strip yourself bare and slip into the reeds, all exposed for him and relaxed beneath the sun. 

Laying flat on your back and remaining buoyant and floating in the freshwater, he remained helpless and observant in knowing you had stretched far from his reach at this moment. His devil-fruit had claimed his ability to swim, but his need and desire for you only grew the moment your warm flesh lay bare before him. 

He made himself small, lowering himself to the ground and his claws dug into the ground the longer you eluded him. If you would venture closer to the bay, he could easily capture you in his clutches and tug you away from the shore. 

Lucci was a patient man, his work undercover in Galley-La for five long years was a sentiment to his persistence and perseverance. His body began to slowly rock from side to side, pacing as his muscular shoulders rolled with each crouched motion as he lay fixed on your form. Nothing could break him away from this concentration, you were the only thought occupying his mind. 

The moment your hand brushes with the side of the floral riverbank, Lucci pounces. His half-shifted body springs forward, capturing you from the water and tugging you towards the ground cover of underbush. His hand finds your lips, clapping his palm over them to stifle your muffled scream. 

The panic is written on your face as Lucci cages you beneath him, ensuring your legs remain well hidden in the shrubbery by tucking them beneath his thighs and wrapping his patchy tail around them. His dangerous, golden eyes beam down at you, his canines extended and his muzzle-like jowls pull back to reveal his pointed teeth to you. 

Fear tainted your scent, the air tasting bitter and tart mixing with your natural sweetness the longer his beastial form pinned you beneath him. He could see in your eyes, and feel the vibrations of your whimper beneath his palm, that you expected to die at this very moment. He leaned down further, hovering his open mouth over your jugular and feeling your throat gulp back and stifle your shock. 

Clamping your eyes shut, all of your thoughts are on your crew. You were foolish to assume you could ever have a moment of peace while traveling with the Straw-Hats. Thinking you could indulge in your desires for a short dip in a warm ravine, you truly had no idea that your day would end like this. 

The sworn enemy of your captain, a dangerous Zoan-Fruit user taking shape in his leopard half-shifted form and caging you beneath him. His breath felt hot on your neck, and his teeth threatened to puncture the skin and claim your life as his trophy. As you prepared yourself for your final moments alive, you furrowed your brows and reopened your shocked eyes.

A coarse tongue lolled out and grazed your throat with a slow and deliberate flicker. You gulp back your shock as another intentional stripe was made against your pulse, his teeth now nuzzling you with his snout and huffing your flesh like an addictive fragrance. Your body shook in shock as he pressed more of his body against yours, his radiant heat keeping you warm as he licked off the dewed droplets of water from your skin. 

The clawed hand began to caress your cheeks beneath his grip on your lips, his tongue and teeth continuing to grind against your pulse and taste your flesh. Your body responded to him by arching your back and betraying any thoughts of attacking him as he savored your flavor with a purred hum. You bit back a gasp as his teeth begin to mouth at the sensitive point beneath your ear, gently biting and marking you as you lay captured beneath him.

“Finally alone,” he purred against your skin, nuzzling his muzzle against your skin, “Finally within my clutches.” He licked a long stripe up to your chin and flicked his coarse tongue over it. You shudder, shivering as you unintentionally hide your body beneath the warmth of his larger frame. You round your eyes, looking up at his face as he hovers over your own. 

His eyes hold a possessive and captivating aura within them, your breath stolen from you as his human form begins to return to his features. His eyes remain slitted and blown with desire, but his body falls back to the form you are more familiar with. Slowly removing his hand from your lips, his gaze focuses on the way they part and gasp for air beneath him. Each soft inhale had a whimpered exhale, your fear still evident in your face as his bare skin warms your own beneath him. 

“If you are going to kill me, kill me, Rob Lucci,” you whisper, darting your eyes between his and hardening your resolve. His chest rumbles with a growling purr as he rests his elbows by your chest and slowly slots his arms beneath your shoulder blades. 

“Kill you?” he whispers, hovering his lips over yours and breathing in your air, “Whatever drew you to that conclusion?” He captured your lips beneath his in an open and possessive kiss, stealing a moan from you as he pressed his body flush with yours. The scrape from his cropped beard over your chin tickled against your flesh as he parted his lips and hummed into yours. 

Blinking back your shock, you apprehensively hook your arms over his shoulders and hold him against you as you return the desperate and feverish kiss with a sweetness and timidity he was not expecting. The softer you returned his kiss, the more brutal he pressed his lips and tongue into you. If you attempted to retract from his lips, he simply arched his back down into you and pressed his entire mass flush against you. 

The fact that you were both naked beneath the foliage cover had you feeling more anxious and concerned about being found. For Lucci, it felt as natural to him as sitting in the sun and enjoying it's warmth.

He enjoyed your touch so much so that it came to him like a breathy release of built up tension. His lips continued to mouth at you, his tongue caressing and grinding against yours as he claimed your desires and ignited his own desperation with each motion. 

Finally pulling away from your lips, his eyes grew half-lidded and blown as he looked to the saliva connecting your parted lips to his with lust written in his blown pupils. He shuddered out a low and powerful groan as he looked to where his lips, tongue and teeth marked over your neck while in his beastial form. 

“Mine,” he uttered darkly, slowly pressing his lips against your neck and holding them firmly against your skin, “Only mine.” You gulped, blinking back your shock as he continued to ravish you beneath the shrubbery. His lips felt desperate and warm, his voice now chirping and chittering as he happily lapped at your bruising and made them deeper in hue and rise higher in swollen texture. 

The beast within him was chanting a single word alongside your name with glee, enjoying how your arms continue to hold him against you softly. Purring against you, he finally vocalized the word with a possessive growl against your skin.

“My mate,” he breathed out through his nose, lips continuing to press against your pulse as you freeze up beneath him, “All Zoan-Fruit users have one, and you?” he pulled away, hovering his face over yours with his eyes darkening, “Oh you, sweet thing.” 

Nuzzling his nose against yours, he cooed and purred down at you while his eyes remained feral and possessive. Your own eyes widened as he uttered two words that would change your fate forever. The two words that had you screaming internally to flee and return to your captain, but your heart swelling and yearning to make those words true. He spoke them with such sincerity, you almost swooned at his immediacy. 

“You’re mine.” 

[multi-fandoms-posts]

Inappropriate Comments

On a cozy evening, Logan and Y/N are lounging on their couch in their shared apartment. The atmosphere is relaxed until Wade suddenly appears. No one quite knows how he always manages to get into their apartment so easily, but it seems to amuse him.

"Well, well, well, what do I see here?" Wade begins, leaning against the doorframe. "The big, bad Logan and Y/N all snuggled up. Is this cuddle hour or what?"

Logan sighs and growls softly. "Wade, get out."

Y/N suppresses a smile. She’s used to Wade’s constant teasing, but Logan, who is usually so calm and stoic, gets irritated every time.

"Oh, I get it. Logan, the usually grumpy guy, turns into a tame kitten around you, Y/N. Does he even purr sometimes?"

Logan gives Wade a dark look. "Shut up, Wade," Logan growls.

Wade just grins wider and sits down on the chair opposite them. "It’s really cute how you become so tame around Y/N. Who would have thought you had such a soft side?"

Logan narrows his eyes and clenches his fists. Y/N places a calming hand on his arm, helping him to control his rising anger.

But Wade doesn’t give up. "What’s your secret, Y/N? Do you enchant him with your cooking skills? Or is it the famous cat food?"

Y/N shakes her head as Logan’s temper continues to simmer. She knows Wade just can’t stop, but she hopes Logan doesn’t lose his composure.

"Logan, Logan," Wade continues, "you really deserve a new nickname. How about Mr. Purrs? Or maybe Purrcat?"

That’s it for Logan. He stands up abruptly and takes threatening steps towards Wade. "One more word, Wade, and you’ll regret it," Logan snarls angrily.

Wade leans back casually as if nothing happened. "Oh, the kitten’s showing its claws! Just the way I like you, Logan. I knew there was still a wild beast beneath that soft facade."

"Wade, that’s enough!" Y/N says urgently, but Wade remains unperturbed.

"Y/N, I hope you have a good vet nearby," Wade adds with a wink. "Who knows when Logan last had his rabies vaccination," Wade grins.

That’s the last straw. Logan grabs Wade by the collar and effortlessly lifts him off the ground. "One more word, and I swear you’ll only be able to eat mush for the next few weeks," Logan says angrily.

Wade laughs, even though he’s barely able to breathe. "Logan, you’re really the best. So passionate. So protective. Y/N is really lucky to have someone who fights so fiercely for her."

Y/N sighs and tugs gently on Logan’s arm. "Logan, let him go. He’s not worth it."

With a contemptuous snort, Logan lets Wade drop. Wade lands roughly on the floor, but his grin doesn’t fade.

"Alright, alright," Wade says as he gets up. "I get it. No more jokes about the kitten. But Logan, you have to admit, you really become tame around Y/N," Wade grins.

"One more word, Wade," Logan warns, "and I’ll show you just how tame I really am," Logan snarls.

Wade raises his hands in a conciliatory gesture. "I’m quiet. For now." Then he winks at Y/N. "But if you ever need a cat bed, I know some good places," Wade grins.

Logan takes a threatening step towards Wade, but Wade is faster and laughs as he disappears from the apartment.

Y/N sighs again and looks at Logan, who is still fuming. "He doesn’t mean any harm," she says soothingly.

"He’s lucky I love you," Logan mutters as he sits back down next to her.

Y/N smiles and rests her head on his shoulder. "I know. And that’s exactly why you didn’t tear him apart."

"Just this once," Logan says, pulling Y/N closer as his anger slowly fades.

[lanabuckybarnes]

HI ❤️ I LOVE your latest work on beast Ari can u pretty please make some more that’s was amazing and I only gotta taste and ready for more i’m addicted I love how u write ❤️

| Savouring Your Taste |

18+ MINORS DNI

Ari visits you, like he often does but this time he wishes for something different — a taste.

✧Pairing✧ Beast!Ari Levinson x Princess!Reader

✧Warnings✧ Dom!Ari, Mentions of Alcohol Consumption, Kinda Desperate Ari (can you blame him), Size Difference, Body Hair Kink (is it a thing? No? It is now), Petnames: [Little Queen, Angel, Pretty Girl, Good Girl],Oral (F), Hair Pulling, Fingering, Maybe a teeny bit Sacrilegious, Cum Eating, Mention of Breeding Kink, Alluding to further activities - Any more please let me know

✧Word Count✧ 1k

✧ Author Note✧ Thank you so much for your support on my Ari work, I love him so much and it fills me with so much happiness to see how much you guys love him too. Thank you for requesting this I had a lot of fun writing it — it even gave me a few ideas :))

He knocks lightly on your door with a pointed claw, the soft tap tap letting you know exactly who’s there. It fills you with excitement at just the thought of what tonight will entail. You move gracefully to the large double doors, swinging open the heavy wood.

Ari stands in all his glory, white shirt unbuttoned most of the way revealing his wide, hairy body, his thighs wrapped in dark pants. He knew what he was doing, the hair that littered his body never ceased to rile you up; during your time with him trapped in his cottage he came to find out just how much you really loved it. Now he does this every time he visits. A dark jacket brings the whole outfit together.

Ari tilts his head at your ogling, a teasing glint in his eyes, “little queen, can I come in?” He rasps, his voice tainted with deep primal need and all he’d seen was you standing there. If people were to see what the beast became infront of such a small little thing, he wouldn’t be the most feared creature of the kingdom, he’d be a laughing stock. He ducks as he steps in, mindful of the short height of your doors. They don’t make them for 7ft beasts in mind.

“You’re early” you announce, turning your attention to the wine jug and chalice.

He doesn’t respond as he shrugs his jacket off and lays it over the high back chair, his deep blue eyes studying your room as though it were his first time being there.

He watches as you turn to him, raising an intricately designed cup in his direction, his hand engulfs it and he takes a sip - the expensive kind, fit for his little Queen.

He lets his eyes fall to your tiny body, in comparison to his at least. Your nightgown rests just below the swell of your ass, the cup that looks more like a shot glass in his hand is almost too big for you. You shuffle over to the other side of the room, swaying your hips a little as you move to your final resting spot, the bottom of your large bed.

Your eyes are locked, lust radiates from your bodies changing the temperature of the room. He moves first, the chalice forgotten on your heavy drawers in favour of resting on his knees in front of you.

Ari takes his time, a large hand wrapping around your calf as his full lips taste your silky skin. It’s unusual, he was never one for taking it slow - the beast part of his brain taking over more often than not resulting in your legs spread wide and his thick length splitting you open mercilessly.

The difference between them setting off fireworks in your brain.

“Ari” you whisper breathlessly, a hand combing through his straw like locks.

“Quiet little queen” sharp canines nipped at the skin of your inner thigh, his tongue poking out to lick the wound sympathetically.

“Let me savour you.”

And savour you he did. Your father always told you never to play with your food but Ari clearly had never been taught the same lesson. Both paw-like hands gripped at your hips over your night slip, bringing you closer to the edge of the bed - your leg seeking refuge over his broad shoulder in order to not fall.

Your idea to forgo panties this evening had paid off. Ari’s nose bumped your mound, atoms above your tingling nerves, his hot breath fanned over your folds.

“Smell good, like fruit.” Ari growled before he sent your body into shock with a fat lick over your pussy, his tongue gathering your slick into his mouth. He smacks his lips over dramatically at your taste, savouring its tang on his tastebuds.

“Why didn’t I taste this before little Queen?” He asks rhetorically and dives in again, from your tiny pucker over your hole before flicking your clit to finish. He savours it all, devouring your pussy. You don’t think there were any words to describe the way he treated your cunt other than devour.

You lost your ability to control your volume at his first lick despite trying your hardest, your sharp pornographic moans shaking the walls but you didn’t care, couldn’t care.

Thick fingers teased your entrance, claws retracted for your pleasure, he wasted no time in plunging deep into your hole, scissoring you open.

“Haah Ari” one look at Ari had you almost coming undone, your eyes rolled into the back of your skull to protect your sanity, your fingers tightening in his auburn locks.

“You like this? Like me licking your pussy? Taste so good, knew these little folds were hiding something from me.”

“Fuck…” you screamed his name in prayer, your gods forgotten about in favour of the one servicing you, a god kneeling between your legs and making you experience heaven, it was no wonder why his name was all you could think of.

“Little Queen is squeezing me, you gonna cum on my fingers? This little pearl is begging for my tongue.”

Ari’s lips sealed around your clit, his hot pink tongue flicking relentlessly. Your brain buzzed with release, your hips rolling up into him, riding his beard like it was your last life line.

“Please Ari” you begged, pushing him closer to your heat with the hand in your hair.

“Cum angel, let me drink up those juices, gimme more” he slurred, pulling his fingers from you and replacing them with his tongue while his thumb rubbed over your puffy clit.

With a final broken shriek your body went stiff, eyes blotting with black and white dots as wave after wave of raw pleasure raked through you. Ari didn’t stop until you were a writhing mess, your thighs clenching the side of his head shaking harshly.

Basking in the afterglow you failed to notice him move until he hovered above you, beard and lips still glistening with your release as he stared down at you wide eyed - animalistic.

His fingers fiddle with his belt, the clanks reaching your ears making you look up. He undoes the button of his fly and zip before pushing them past his thick thighs. His huge cock slaps against his hairy stomach.

“I want you to cum like that again pretty girl, think you can do that?”

Your body shook with overstimulation but your brain preened at the thought, your back arching into him.

“Yes, please Ari.”

“Good girl, gonna breed you so good.”

Wonder what happened in the cottage? :)

I DO NOT give permission to have my work copied, translated or reposted. If you see my work anywhere else except on this page I have not given consent for it to be used.

Comments, Asks, Reblogs & Likes are always appreciated. They let me know that you are enjoying what you read and give me motivation to write more

Thanks for reading~

[reredram]

Finally got some spare time to pull out an idea to life that was tumbling around my mind for 10 months

(Reposts are greatly appreciated!)

Basically I've heard Terrible Things by AXIE(wish I could attach it here but tumblr being a bitch again), and got a thought about Saint that killed Sliver on accident and actually regrets it, not being able to fix it and he gets stuck in never ending, repeating cycle, when each time InSaint tries to ascend himself in desperate attempt to end the suffering, he comes back to the moment where he stands above corpse of his creator.

InSaint attepmted to ask help from other iterators, both all of them and separate, but each time it ended up as a manhunt, where iterators spent all their last resources to kill this green beast. Nothing worked, so he grew insane hatered towards iterator kind, proceeding to ascend them all out of spite few dosen times.

As he understands that this won't help to return Sliver of Straw, he dwells down into The Void, reaching out Rubicon, but even this place is soaked with hatred towards him, as every entity is hostile to him. As he tries to use acention to protect himself, he slowly turns into monstrouos echo, and only escape is to ascend himself, returning back at where he started.

Trivia!

Voice claim and whole vibe of his is Terrible Things by AXIE, he's so Springtrap lmao

He has carnivorous teeth and claws, but his body is still not used to meat, that he sometimes forced to consume. Usually after this, when he wakes up he feels starved, since meat didn't digested right

He can use ascention powers freely on surface, but usualy abstains to do so, counting it as a curse, not a salvation. In Void though, he can use it only 5 times before he turns into an Echo

Due constant messing with the cycle, his timeline is fucked. Cycles are shorter(slightly bigger than Rivulet's), snowstorms are harsher, and due his constant killing rampage of InSaint, wildlife evolved to be extremely dangerous

His tail is broken in 2 places, and healed up being crooked. Ouch

And, as a bonus, amv-like shots of one particular moment from Terrible Things. I've planed to do it, I have it all scripted from start to end, endlessly rotating in my head while I'm listening this song on repeat, but I don't have enough concentration to do such big project.

[mousy-nona]

Headcanon that someone asks Alastor for his body count and this confused man replies with some insane number because he thinks they're talking *literal bodies* and doesn't know why everyone is so shocked

“Three.”

“Three?” Angel Dust gaped, looking like he might pass out and die for the second time from sheer shock. Charlie buried her face in her hands, but she couldn’t hide the blush that spread to the very tips of her ears. Vaggie rubbed her back. 

“It’s not that bad,” she soothed. 

“Speak for yourself, Feathers,” Angel Dust spluttered. “Haven’t you been alive, like, hundreds of years? What the hell have you been doing with your life?” 

“Helping people, obviously,” Vaggie snapped. “Maybe you should try it sometime.” 

“Hey!” So fast almost no one caught it, he cast a nervous glance at Husk. “If you’re so much better than us mere mortals, why don’t you share your body count with the class?”

Vaggie raised her chin, her eyes flashing. “Two.” 

Angel Dust choked, wobbled, and flopped dramatically back onto the couch, fanning himself like an overwrought Southern belle. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you two were running a convent here!” 

“It’s your turn to share, numbnuts,” Vaggie sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“‘Fraid I can’t count that high, doll,” he grinned. “Lost track a couple years ago. Husk, your turn!” He sounded far too casual, as if he was very eager to hear the answer and was trying to pretend to figure out what the regular amount of eager would be. 

Husk grumbled and set his glass down on the counter. “Fifty?” He shrugged. “Sixty? Somewhere around there.” 

“Finally! A decent number. See, ladies, it’s not that hard once you put your mind to it,” Angel Dust sighed. “Niffty, you go.” 

The tiny reincarnation of chaos giggled, practically vibrating as she licked the tip of the knife in her hand. “Bugs?”

“No, Niff. Your body count.”

She scratched her head, looking adorably confused. “Silly spider! Bad boys can be bugs too.” 

“What–? Actually, you know what, nevermind. It was my fault for asking you in the first place. Okay, who’s left…” He brightened when he spotted Lucifer lounging by the fireplace. “Aha! The Big Daddy himself has gotta have some interesting answers.”

Lucifer chuckled, his chest swelling with pride. “Well, I might have slowed down in my old age, but before Lilith and I started our little family I was quite a killer with the ladies.” He thought for a bit, tapping his chin as he counted. Carry the one, times three… He finally gave up. “Maybe two hundred?” 

“A-ha! Is that it?” Alastor grinned. “And you call yourself the king of hell?”

Everyone gaped. Alastor had almost thrown someone out of the top floor window for accidentally brushing up against his hand. He’d once burned a coat after Lucifer had grabbed it. He only willingly touched others to A) show dominance or B) play mind games (this option he reserved almost exclusively for Lucifer).

In short, he was the absolute last person anyone had expected to participate in this game. 

Angel Dust looked like someone had just told him Christmas had come early. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t the strawberry pimp himself! Don’t keep us in suspense. What’s your body count?” 

Alastor thought for a second. “Four thousand and five-six.” 

Six jaws simultaneously dropped to the ground. Lucifer felt the insane urge to fly into his circus dimension and scream until his lungs gave out. A strange green beast clawed at his stomach, and he pressed his hand against it, trying to tame it before he did something truly stupid. 

“Four…thousand?” Angel Dust stuttered. “But…you’ve only been alive for a hundred years?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been busy, I suppose.” 

That was the last straw. Lucifer stormed out of the room. He didn’t think he’d be able to control himself if he stayed. So Alastor’s fine with just anyone? What the Hell am I then, chopped liver? He stopped in the main hall, taking deep breaths in through his nose, then out through his mouth, just like Charlie had taught them during her “How to: Anger Management” seminar. 

“What’s all the fuss about?”

A familiar static ripped through the air. Lucifer scowled. 

“I don’t really want to talk to you right now.” 

“How interesting! I don’t want to talk to you ever, but unfortunately it’s out of both of our hands.” Alastor pretended to inspect his nails. Lucifer knew he was pretending, because he couldn’t see them through his gloves. “Charlie threw me out and told me not to return until I’d checked in on you.” 

Charlie did? Lucifer shivered, pointedly trying not to think about what that meant, and what she might know about his Super Secret, Definitely Not Pathetic crush. “Great. You’ve checked in on me. You can go now.” 

Alastor cocked his head, peering at him curiously. “I must say, I’m rather surprised by your reaction to my confession. Is it really so surprising? I’ve never made a secret of my favorite pastimes.” 

Lucifer gaped. “This is literally the first time I’ve heard you talk about this.”

Alastor frowned. Lucifer frowned. They both frowned at each other. 

“Have you gone senile? I ate a man in front of you yesterday,” Alastor asked, looking at Lucifer as if he’d lost his mind. 

“What does eating a man have anything to do with it?” Lucifer asked, the same expression mirrored on his face. “You just said your body count was –” 

Realization hit him like a freight train. Alastor had been born during the turn of the century. He’d struggled with modern day slang before, like vibes and cap and bet – and body count, it seemed. 

“Are you…are you talking about how many people you’ve killed?” Lucifer gasped, barely managing to get the words out in between laughs. 

“Yes?” Alastor wrinkled his nose. “Why is that so funny?” 

Lucifer thought his sides might tear from how hard he was laughing. “Nothing,” he wheezed. “Nothing at all.” 

Then he immediately started scheming ways to get Alastor's actual body count.

[lunarspiral1127]

*sigh* I was gonna wait till later, but screw it. I gotta talk about the ending of X-Men 97 episode 9 and what it could lead too. *SPOILERS*

So, I'm mad. Because, in the end, Magneto tore the adamantium out of Wolverine's skeleton. And, yes, this did happen in the comics (X-Men vol. 2 #25 "Fatal Attractions").

Now, I hated that they had to do that to him cause I like Wolverine. But, next week's episode might lead into some other things that happened in the comics too. I dunno which ones, but I'll tell you what they are.

Xavier gets so angry at what Magneto did to Wolverine that he mindwipes him, putting Magneto in a catatonic state. Like, it could be the last straw in the show, and Xavier does this.

This leads to the origin and the first appearance of Onslaught, an entity created with both Xavier and Magneto's consciousness. He's a combination of both their dark and negative thoughts and feelings (Xavier's was suppressed for years). Now, Onslaught would be a "holy crap, we're screwed" moment if he did show up or hint of him in the finale.

Wolverine survives, but his healing factor gets burned out, but he gains his bone claws. He might leave the X-Men like Storm did when she lost her powers. However, he does go feral and becomes more of a beast due to his mutation. If this does happen in the show, I wonder how he'll regain his healing factor and his humanity if the show gets a second season.

Wolverine, in the comics, does get his adamantium back into his skeleton, but the one to do that was Apocalypse, and that was just to brainwash him and turn him into the Horsemen of Death. I don't think that's gonna happen cause the show has been leaving so many hints of Gambit being the one who'll become that Horseman.

And, that's all that I can think of that could happen in the finale that are from the comics. Again, I'm not sure which will happen next week, but it'll be a doozy.

[echantedtoon]

Mermaid Douma x Reader Oneshot

You would have luck attracting the clingiest of creatures.

This is a sorta connecting story to Ocean Deep but with two different Y/ns. A gift for @warringwarrioridiot on Tumblr. It's not gonna be very long but it's here for whomever wants to read it. If you need a refresh for what Douma looks like in the mer au he's a Fairy Wrasse mer and the link to the fish is below.

https://images.app.goo.gl/Mg9woLteiSKnU8MQ7)

taglist: @six-eyed-samurai @lavenderdrxp @jjamsbangtan @camilo-uwu @hopefulworld1

@shadyd3ar @amypop122 @azuredragonstrike

@mimisweetz @chaoticoperatorduckhairdo @staarflowerr

Remember if you want to be added to the tag list lemme know.

"You're here again?"

"Naturally, Darling.~" 

"Don't call me that."

The distant sounds of water sloshing around the body circulated the air and a coo Lik a dove would give their beloved.  The sun shown down brightly today too. The birds were chirping and a few cute critters were scuttling around your small space until the presence of the large predator drove them all away in fear of being eaten alive. A nuisance really despite the muscle and power that he exuded like a bolt of lightning ready to strike any moment. But he teetered between such things as a harmless calm puddle and the for mentioned lightning. 

You paid the creature behind you not an ounce of attention or fear despite the animals running for their lives. The strong straw at your hands busy being tangled within your grip as nimble hands weaved a wicker basket. Rose petals tickled your head briefly as you continued to work but did now only pause as claws weaved through locks of your hair. Only then did f/c eyes turn to finally look at the cold eyes.

Like fragmented stained glass they were. Pretty but glossy with nothing barely in there despite their beauty. Claws that could kill, and probably have killed, combing over the delicate locks in their hold. Petting you and slowly trailing down your face until the dangerous hand cupped your face 

"There. So beautiful.~"

"You've been a pain ever since I untangled you from the net you were in."

Another coo as the ocean dwelling creature leaned closer from the edge of the stream he now occupied. "So mean. I'd prefer to call it taking care of the woman I'm fond over.~ My sweet little plaything.~"

You should've just left him to detangle himself all those years ago but you being young and naive didn't heed the warnings of being associated with creatures no human should tangle with. Your eyes glossed over as a distant memory replayed in your head. The fateful day all those years ago that trouble started following you.

"...Who...W-Who ARE you?!"

"...Douma!"

"Are you going to eat me?"

"Maaaaybe. Maybe not. Are you going to stand there and stare at me?"

You felt your body feel cold and frozen just standing there staring at the ..beast?. creature? Before you. He stared at you with such glazed over colorful eyes. A beautiful cascading head of platinum blonde fell from his head as if the starlight colored it, and a just as beautiful colorful fish tail adored his lower half. You had just been wondering around by the stream and laid down for a nap after fishing unsuccessfully for a few hours now. Then you were woken up by the sounds of something big struggling along the riverbank to your left just struggling behind a thick bush leaning over the river. You assumed it was a beached fish or perhaps a deer that had gotten it's antlers stuck in the branches, however when you pulled the bush away you were shocked by what you saw. So shocked that you sorta..just went on numb autopilot staring at the boy your age struggling to untangle himself.

"I-....WHAT are you?! A-Are you a siren?!"

It was the boy's turn to pout tilting his head. "That's a harmful stereotype to assume I am one of the more barbaric types. Sirens and merfolk are two completely different beings. I wished you humans would stop mislabeling us."

Your eyes widened. "Y-Y-You're a merman?!"

"I'm glad you caught on. Now please stop staring. You'll draw attention to me and I don't need that right now."

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times before shaking your head and blinking. "H-How did you get here in the first place?!"

"I was being hunted by one of those..." he hummed tapping a blue tipped claw to his chin. "What do you call them? Monster hunters?" He waved a hand smiling. "Anyways- They're blaming me for a kraken's killings although I'm sure they don't care." He watched as you stared at him a little longer before a hand touched his tail all of a sudden making him look down towards you. "Well now- If you found me so irresistible you could've just asked me.~"

You didn't answer other than giving an annoyed look. Instead tugging at the knots on the tail (that actually felt surprisingly smooth but wet) but found that the thick knots were too tight to be broken and you didn't have a knife on you. The ropes were also tangled up in the lower hanging branches of the bush. That must've been how he got stuck. Unfortunately it looked too terribly tangled up to get out without cutting it either. You'd be unable to cut him out....But.. Maybe he could slip out? He watched as you shifted to his tail and grabbed the ropes around it.

"What are do-Oh!"

He yelped as you bluntly pulled his tail up by the ropes lifting half his body off the went muddy bank and pulled up. The ropes were tight on him. And he was pretty heavy! You grunted pulling at them eventually jumping up and down a bit and trying to hook your fingers under the ropes to try and get a better grip on the ropes- Until something gave. With a wet splat sound, his tail wetly slipped through the ropes and he landed on the muddy ground with a thud leaving you holding ropes in your hands. Douma hissed in lingering soreness that throbbed from his tail and groaned laying there.

You blinked at the ropes before tossing them aside and leaning over him. "Are you ok?"

"Incredibly sore but I'll live." His eyes turned back up to you, turning in such an inhuman fashion it made you jump that large smile still on his face. "But...you helped me?"

"I mean-...You were stuck. Was I not supposed to? If you wanted to get out yourself then sorry. I guess. I mean I'd want someone to help me if I was trapped somewhere. Wouldn't you?"

"I suppose so." He pushed himself to sit up on his elbows raising a brow and looking you over. "It's just rare a human would help someone like me willingly and not try to get something in return." He made a point to reach out towards the bottom of your dress but you took a large step back.

You shrugged and looked at him. "I mean you did need help. I'm not sure what else I would do with you."

He continued to stare at you up and down before just silently flipping onto his stomach and you watched as he dragged himself across the short bank and into the water of the stream with a few water shuffling sounds. Blinking you continued to watch as his head reemerged a moment later and he looked at you.

"Never the less, thank you for your assistance. I would appreciate it if you don't tell anyone about our meeting. It's an inconvenience as it was just to escape the last time."

You huffed. "I don't think anyone would believe me even if I did tell them. I don't even believe this! I'm going to wake up from my nap and this'll all be a dream."

He chuckled. "Perhaps so...But still one good deed deserves another. What's your name?"

"My name is Y/n, Mr. Dream Merman. But I assure you that I don't need anything in return even from a dream."

He smiled wider. "Perhaps not." He then tilted his head. "...Are you married or engaged? Or do you already have a lover?"

"No. I mean you'd already know that being a figment of my imagination."

"Then I shall return to marry you once we're older. I'll be back to claim you then. Let this be my marriage vow to you."

"Ok. Mr Dream Mer-"...You blinked. "Wait. What-"

With a PLUNK sound, the head disappeared and you were left there stunned and staring slack jawed at the water. Whatever really happened just...gone. you continued to stare until you did the only thing that you could do in this situation. Go back to your nap, and sleep away the rest of this weird dream.

You had thought it had been nothing but a weird dream a silly teenage girl had. Until years later you were living on your own, with your own adorable cottage by the same stream and you were tending to the garden like you always did until a slippery wet creature decided to crawl up the banks-

"Y/N. I'M READY FOR YOU TO TAKE ME NOW?!"

You continued to stare at nothing lost in thought until two powerful arms wrapped around your and gently pulled your body into Douma's. His forehead dipping down to press against yours. F/c eyes deadpanned glanced at your shoulder.

"... You're getting my dress wet."

"Hmph! You Always have to spoil the moment."

"Will you let go of me if I did compliment you?"

"NOPE!~"

"Then suffer."

[thegoldenavenger]

Mmmmm, thinking about Luo Binghe flying high on his sword when a magnificent bird veers close to him, flaring its wings and catching the buffet of wind around lbh and riding alongside him

The bird looks at him with steely, piercing eyes and delicately reaches its talons out to grip zheng yang's hilt. It settles carefully onto the sword, ruffling its feathers as it balances. Idly, it toys with the hem of lbh's robe, at the tie on his boot.

Lbh is heading to Qing Jing Peak, of course and this bird rides with him the whole way. Approaching the bamboo forest, the bird catches flight again, quickly looping around lbh before folding its wings and diving.

Not to be outclassed, lbh also tucks himself in and dives. Unerring, the bird and lbh are heading for the same figure.

LBH finally has to pull out of the dive, jumping off Zheng Yang and sweeping it back into its sheath in an elegant movement while the bird, like an arrow, drops almost directly onto Shen Qingqiu, who is waiting.

At the last moment the bird pulls up, it's talons reaching out and it's wings breaking its speed. It perches on sqq's arm, almost a third to half the size of sqq himself.

"Oh you brought home Binghe! How good!" Sqq scratches the bird's feathers around its face, and the bird floofs and twists its head appreciatively. It delicately nips at sqq's fingers and sqq let's out a little "Oh! Right!" And procures a little meat snack for it.

Lbh, totally not jealous of a bird, announces himself and sqq smiles at him, very gleeful.

"Shizun...?"

"Binghe, welcome back! You may not have noticed, but your Liu-Shishu had a little qi deviation and turned into a bird!"

The bird makes a trilling noise after it—he—snapped up the snack, and goes back to nibbling at sqq's hand, pulling softly at his sleeve. Lbh makes a face.

"How long is he going to be like that?" Lbh asks, edging into sqq's space, not so subtly planning how best to oust bird-lqg from sqq's arm.

"Mu Qingfang said that he would likely have to clear the resentment that caused the qi deviation, before his energy can rebalance and return to normal."

"And... he can do that?" Lbh looks VERY doubtfully at lqg, who is busy trying to fit his head back into sqq's palm, begging for more scritches.

"Ah, well. Probably?" Sqq says, "He has times where he seems more lucid. Yang Yixuan is, uh, dedicated, but I don't trust Bai Zhan to have the delicacy required to take care of Liu-Shidi while he's this indisposed..."

"They might still try to fight him..." Lbh agrees.

"Exactly! He's still so intimidating!" Sqq says this while cooing, dragging his hand down the bird's chest. Bird-lqg obligingly raises a talon, showing off wicked finger-length curving claws to Sqq's obvious delight.

Lbh starts, in reflex, as sqq holds his hand out and bird-lqg curves his talons around it, but bird-lqg is exceedingly delicate, exerting a control that normal birds wouldn't possess.

"And he can't stay on the beast mountain?" Lbh asks

"Well, they have so many other responsibilities..." sqq says, almost pouting at lbh.

Lbh thinks that is entirely unfair. He is the one who should be crying in this situation, seeing as his husband has, once again, done backflips in order to arrange lqg into their care.

"You just want to study him." Lbh accuses, finally burrowing his way into sqq's shoulder, leaning on it enough that it unbalanced bird-lqg. Lbh keeps an eye out, but as expected, bird-lqg launches off of sqq with a few powerful flaps of his wings instead of risking harming sqq to readjusting his perch.

"I could turn into a better animal for you to study." Lbh says, petulant, into sqq's hair.

"Ahhh, it will only be for awhile you sticky husband." Sqq says, but dutifully pets lbh's hair.

Lbh shuffles them back into the bamboo house, intending on visiting the kitchens then heading to bed, but he's stopped by the mess of straw and woodchips spread along the floor. A large, wickedly gnarled branch leans haphazardly across the home, almost wall to wall.

"Shizun......" lbh says in despair. "Shizun, he is not staying in the house, is he?"

As if in punctuation, a beautiful feather floats down lazily in front of lbh's face.

[kamiiri]

Everyone in Strangetown knew of the Night Beast. The massive hellhound had been terrorizing the city for years, but it wasn’t until recently that the sightings were becoming more frequent. Some believed it to be a silly myth conjured up by conspiracy theorists and gullible gossipers, but those who’d seen it knew that the spreading panic was more than justified.

The creature was described as having straw-colored hair, razor-sharp claws, a face as ugly as sin, and an unmatched fury. It was spotted in residential areas, jumping out at people who just wanted to collect the daily newspaper. It was spotted dashing around downtown, chasing the local unsavory charlatan. But mostly, it was spotted in Deadtree, right around the Nighthowl Saloon.

[rocknroll7575]

Glass Girl...

Cinder stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Her breath came in ragged gasps as she staggered towards the mirror. Anger roiled within her, a tempest that threatened to consume her entirely. Her hands gripped the porcelain sink, and she felt the heat seeping into it, making the surface almost unbearable to touch.

Her glowing orange eyes blazed as she glared at her reflection. The image of two girls intruded upon her thoughts—Nikos and Belladonna. They had encroached upon her territory, sinking their claws into Jaune and pulling him away from her. Her grip tightened, and the sink began to radiate heat, a physical manifestation of her growing fury.

"Don't you see? He doesn't need you."

Cinder's head snapped up at the sound of the voice. Instead of her own reflection, she saw The Madam staring back at her. Shock coursed through her, and she nearly stumbled back, but the initial horror quickly morphed into seething rage.

"YOU!" she spat, her voice dripping with venom.

"He doesn't want you, Cinder. Why would he?" The Madam sneered, her voice dripping with contempt. "A pathetic little girl like you can't compare to those two. You're nothing but a silly, clumsy fool who can't even hold onto the man she loves, let alone keep her own mind intact."

"Shut up, you damn whore!" Cinder screamed, her voice cracking under the weight of her fury. "You know nothing!"

"I know more than you think," The Madam replied coolly. "I've seen how that boy looks at Nikos. He admires her, Cinder. He has that spark in his eye—the same spark he used to have for you all those years ago. But now? That spark is gone. He no longer admires you. He loathes you. He's disgusted by you."

"S-SHUT U-UP!" Cinder's voice wavered, betraying her crumbling composure.

"And don't even get me started on that Faunus girl," The Madam continued, a sinister smirk playing on her lips. "Did you see how he looked at her? He's smitten, Cinder. He loves her. I wonder what they do behind closed doors, hm?"

"Don't you dare say another word!" Cinder's eyes blazed with rage, her entire body trembling.

"Perhaps a little kissing? Maybe some exploration? Perhaps she undressed for him?" The Madam taunted, her words cutting deep into Cinder's already fragile heart.

"I-I said to sh-shut it!" Cinder cried, her voice breaking as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Oh my, perhaps she bends over for him? Gives him everything he desires that your scared and worthless body can't?" The Madam sneered. "I can see it now—the two of them naked and sweaty, doing it like beasts while laughing at you!"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Cinder screamed, gripping the sides of the mirror so hard her knuckles turned white.

The Madam laughed, a cruel, mocking sound. "Aw! What's the matter, dear? Scared?" she taunted. "Just imagine it! The happy life he could have with her! Imagine the joyful smile on his face that he gives her! Imagine how he laughs with her happily. Can you see it, Cinder dear? The happy lives they could have—all without you?"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Cinder cried loudly as the tears spilled down her cheeks. "Jaune wouldn't do that with that bitch! He wouldn't leave me! He LOVES me!"

"Does he?" The Madam asked, her voice dripping with disdain. "Or is he just waiting to throw you aside and run off with one of those girls?"

That was the final straw. With a scream of pure rage, Cinder yanked the mirror off the wall and hurled it to the ground. The glass shattered, but it wasn’t enough. She fell to her knees and began bashing the broken pieces with her fists, her screams echoing off the tiled walls.

"He loves me! Only me!" she cried, tears streaming down her face. "He's mine! Mine! Mine! Understand? HE'S MINE! NOT NIKOS'S! NOT BELLADONNA'S! MIIINEEE!!!" Her voice reached a fever pitch as she pounded the shards into smaller fragments, blood mingling with her tears.

Exhausted and gasping for breath, she finally stopped and looked down at the shattered remains of the mirror. The Madam was gone. In her place was Cinder's own reflection, fragmented and broken.

Cinder's anger gave way to a deep, aching sadness. Her body shook with sobs as she clutched her bleeding hands. "He loves me! He loves me! He loves me!" she whimpered. "He can't be anyone else's! I need him! I want him! He's all mine!"

But the sadness quickly reignited into fury. She glared at her fractured reflection, her eyes blazing like a wildfire. "He's mine... and I'll make him remember it!" she seethed through clenched teeth.

Determined, Cinder stood up, ignoring the pain in her hands. She left the bathroom, her mind set on finding Jaune. She would make him understand that he belonged to her, and no one else.

She would make him remember, whether he wanted to or not. Her resolve hardened, and with each step she took, her determination grew stronger. She would reclaim what was hers, by any means necessary.

"He'll remember," she whispered to herself, her voice a cold promise. "He'll remember who he belongs to..."

Cinder's mind raced with memories of their time together, every moment they had shared, every look and touch that had once bound them so tightly. She would not let those other girls take him away from her. Jaune was hers, and she would make him see that again.

"He'll remember," she repeated, her fists clenching as she pushed through the pain. "I'll make him remember,"

With each step, Cinder's heart pounded with a mix of rage and desperation.

She would make Jaune remember, and she would do whatever it took to ensure that he was hers, now and forever...

[monstersdownthepath]

Herald of Norgorber: The Stabbing Beast

CR 15

Neutral Evil Huge Outsider

Inner Sea Gods, pg. 300 (image from Adventure Path: Agents of Edgewatch: Assault on Hunting Lodge Seven, pg. 85)

In a list containing some impressively unimpressive names, it's still no contest: the most unfortunately-named Herald in the pantheon has to be the poor Stabbing Beast (which I will refer to as variations of "Stabs" from now on), Herald of the greediest and most ambitious of all the gods: Norgorber, god of secrets, poison, murder, greed [sound of a scroll unfurling] blackmail, assassins, theft, darkness, alchemy, anonymity, spiders, propaganda--oh whoops forget I said that last one, that hasn't happened yet. Ol' Norby has a major problem with gifting ridiculous names out to his minions, with his other divine servants bearing such titles as Yellowtooth, Secret Shade, and Venomfist, but unfortunately Stabby here draws the shortest straw, as it only does stabbing some of the time and barely qualifies as a beast!

I'm being rough on it, but in truth it's because Stabby has all the personality of a wind-up toy created to perform a single function, ignoring anything irrelevant to its mission to the point it simply bowls over any creature that doesn't get out of its way while it's walking. Any creature that sufficiently annoys it is simply dispatched without a second thought or moment's concern, and any time Stabby has interacted with another living creature through any medium other than violence, it's been to inspire that creature to violence. Whenever Stabby creeps across the world, it's most certainly to either kill someone or destroy something that Norgorber (or one of his powerful followers) wants destroyed, and even its price when called into the universe by mortal worshipers is "kill this specific person for me," presumably as a test.

When it appears, someone will die. As a Herald, it's about as direct and to the point as one could expect from a creature with such a title. But is it any more interesting in combat than any of the other giant scorpions? Let's find out...

Like most scorpions, Stabbington can strike quickly and without warning, often felling its prey before they even realize what's going on. Its Sudden Strike allows it to take a full round of actions during the surprise round rather than just a single standard action, meaning if it appears in the middle of the party via its 3/day Greater Teleport or after sneaking in with its 3/day Invisibility, someone is likely already halfway gone. Stabbington has the usual tricks for a scorpion: a pair of deadly claws (2d6+13) and a lethal stinger (2d6+11) loaded with a Strength-damaging poison to take the bite out of anyone attempting to fight back, or simply to take out the casters who dumped Str.

Each of its natural attacks inflicts a worrying 2d6 bleed damage, adding some additional strain to anyone trying to heal in combat, and worse than that: its claws Grab whatever they hit and Constrict it for an extra 2d6+12 damage every round the grapple isn't broken. Also, do you remember that poison? Because instead of delivering it via a sting, Stabby can use Poison Stream to make a ranged touch attack against a target within 180ft, exposing the victim to its poison while also blinding them for 1d4+1 rounds if they fail the save against it. It can do this either as a ranged attack on its own or by replacing the stinger attack it makes during a Full-Attack, letting it shoot distant targets while it continues to rip apart whoever it has in melee.

And speaking of, it wouldn't be a melee monster if it didn't have some extra ways to keep people from fleeing, would it? It's not any of the usual suspects, either (i.e. Step Up), but one we haven't seen before: the Scorpion Style feat! It can make a single attack as a standard action which forces a DC 20 Fortitude save, and anyone who fails is essentially pinned in place for 2 full rounds, unable to move more than 5ft as the beast tears into them. Even if they could, Combat Reflexes might make them reconsider.

Being the servant of the God Of Underhanded Tactics, Stabbo has some protection against underhanded tactics itself; it's got All-Around Vision and a permanent See Invisibility, +4 to saves versus mind-affecting effects (its base saves are +17/+17/+14!), it is immune to poison, and has Resistance to almost every element; 30 to Acid, 10 to Cold, Fire, and Electricity. Capping it all off is the laughably-easy-to-bypass DR 10/Good and Magic, and the much less easily-bypassed 26 Spell Resistance, making this a bug that's still quite tough to squash! It's got Deflect Arrows as a bonus feat to swat aside the first ranged attack made against it each round to further frustrate enemies trying to keep their distance (enemies which are likely contending with its blinding poison). Also, you can't really gum it down with summons or extra bodies; its Murderers Reward grants it 2d6 temporary HP each time it brings a victim to 0 HP, or 3d6 if its attack kills the target, and this ability has no cooldown or per-day restriction, only the minor downside that the temp HP doesn't stack with itself and cannot grant Stabbo more HP than the victim's max HP stat (so it cannot, say, sting flies out of the air to suddenly regenerate a handful of HP).

We haven't even really covered its spells yet, have we? Most of them aren't going to be immediately useful to it (with one--Keen Edge--being outright worthless to the Herald itself), but with a bit of creative thinking from the DM, it can go from an overt mass-murderer to a stealthy assassin as easily as Norgorber swaps from Father Skinsaw to the Reaper of Reputation. Of course, this mostly relies on the other half of Stabitha's statblock, the half where it's a Medium-sized humanoid.

Yes, this horror isn't always a horror! Stabathan can freely shift from a Huge scorpion to a Medium assassin and back as needed, its fierce twin claws replaced by a pair of +1 Keen Short Swords it can make upwards to five attacks with each round for 1d6+4 damage. It lacks both the reach and the sheer crushing power of its scorpion claws in this form and its sting attack (which it retains) is reduced to 1d6+4 damage, but in return it swords have a 17-20 critical hit rate and almost three times as many attacks, making its humanoid form better at sustained damage than burst damage, especially since it still inflicts bleed with ALL of its attacks... and of course, utilizing its variety of carried poisons to coat its blades.

The primary use for its humanoid form, however, is stealth. A 16-foot-long scorpion isn't exactly subtle, but Stabbity's human form can easily utilize its +32 Stealth modifier to go wherever it needs to, and more easily use its various espionage-focused spell-likes to its advantage. An at-will Charm Person and 3/day Suggestion isn't especially useful to the scorpion, but infinitely useful to the human to get it into wherever it needs to go. Its at-will Poison is less effective than its claws and its own venom, but useful for giving a target a casual pat on the back and watching them collapse dead on the floor 30 seconds later. Similarly, an at-will Absorbing Touch isn't especially useful for the scorpion but allows the human shape to sneak weapons into places they aren't allowed, steal valuables, hide important documents, or any number of other useful tricks. Between False Alibi and Modify Memory at 3/day each, Stabbity can shape the minds of any witnesses to its crimes, either erasing them entirely or making the victims think they did it.

There is only one flaw in Stabamillion's disguise: Its humanoid form is a muscular, armored, masculine entity. This, alongside many of its other weaknesses, is easily rectified by a very powerful at-will: Alchemical Allocation. This spell alone changes the beast's abilities quite drastically, allowing it to essentially use any potion it obtains an infinite number of times. It has no built-in healing, but that doesn't matter if it can just drink a Potion of Cure Moderate Wounds over and over. It can only take one alternate shape, but a Potion of Disguise Self may as well be a Hat of Disguise. It has no climb speed for... some reason, but a Potion of Climbing easily rectifies this. And let's not get into what an endlessly-usable Potion of Haste can do...

Sometimes, it's the smallest things that make the biggest difference! Be it a single spell, a single line of text, or a single stab in the ribs with a poisoned knife. And then another. And then four more, just to be sure.

You can read more about it here.

[since64bce]

Trumper HC: AOT CHARACTERS AS TRUMP SUPPORTERS

I'm not in Amurica or nothin so idek the guy. All I'm sayin is I think he's a funny man so lets go baby yeehaw

CHARACTERS??: CONNIE AND SASHA, MIKASA, ERWIN, REINER, BERTHOLDT, HISTORIA, PIXIS, FLOCH Warnings: Racism, Sexism, ageism, STEREOTYPING, homophobia, transphobia, swearing, soft porn, guns, terrorism, mentions of violence and molesting. (istg im nitpicking here) A/N: pls don't report me.

CONNIE + SASHA 🥹💃🕺 (Cowboy conspirators)

-I have to group them together Im sorry

-"We juhst tew keids werkin togeyther on ower dayddies raynch in teyxas"🤓🤠

-Sashas fam are a few hardened Trump veterans (it's in the braus bloodline) can you imagine her father NOT being a republican smth

-Connies fam is the same.

-Both of their dads are those weird uncles u only see @ thanksgiving once a year. NOT WEIRD IN A PEDO WAY. They the ones who talk abt the flouride makin the rats n frogs gay an whatnot. its a whole thing.

-BAsically con man🧍‍♂️ and sack nut🧍‍♀️ spend their days chewing on straw and standing outside abortion clinics. 👫

-They're probably like 12 or somthing idk

-But yes they really like trump. Hail trump✋. Worship trump🙏. Trump trump trump. Donald J trump💋. Love trump🫶. want trump👀. lick trump🫵. kiss trump🫵. Trump 4 life💪. Trump all day baby🫦. Trump👨🏽‍🦲.

-Honestly they wanna see trump more than trump wanna see them.

-Actually trump don't want to see them.

-He'd get molested, turn around and there'd be two skanky ass lookin children standing behind him how horrific.💀💀💀

-These children aren't normal

-God bless murica ✊✊ yeehaw

Mikasa es tu casa (Chilled out chad)

-Mikasa is one of them chill ones that just mind their own buisness

-Unproblematic chad😌

-She sets an example for the rest of society and shes ripped so lets all take a leaf out of mikasas book shall we

-This aint aot fr this is america 🦅🦅🇺🇸🇺🇸 so she lived happily ever after with her mama and papa ok. no weird human traffickers or nothing🖕🖕. Her parents would've been quite traditional and conservative

-I think she'd believe in the nuclear family and gender roles and what not but her beliefs would be very mild

-You can't get her fuckin forearms from making sandwiches all day babes ❤️‍🔥💪

-but yeah shes a sweetheart ilhsm💋

-And lets just say her being a trumpee is like Gods way of containing this woman

-she wouldn't have missed fr🔫

-And God forbid if she did miss cuz otherwise she'd have gone up there and done it with her bare hands baby

-casual Trump enjoyer

Erwin👱‍♂️ (Facebook warrior)

-He's one a them grandaddy Trumps💪👴. There from the very beginning.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

-You really think old people are bad at using technology?? WRONG.

-Levi helped him set up a facebook account 💋

-And It's the only fuckin thing he knows how to use on his computer. And he plays around on with his face this🤏 close to the screen, like gurl u don't need to do that 🧍‍♂️💀💀

-just use ur monacle or whatever🤷‍♀️

-But yeah whenever he comes upon gay 🌈🌈people posts on facebook my man has a heart attack. He clutches his chest falls outta his chair as he tries to get his breathing in control. 🤯😵

-Erwin will come across a post of two girls kissing an fickin collapse istg

-And then he'll get his talons out and start producing some juicy ass hate comments👹. He can't control himself, he's like a wild beast🥴😮‍💨, its like his arthiritis stricken claws have a gravitational pull towards that keyboard

-And he doesn't understand the whole algorithm thing either

There he squats with all these gay daddies on his facebook, hate spamming ALL of them AND HE STILL DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY FACEBOOK KEEPS SHOWING HIM THESE POSTS🤬🤬😡🫣🤷‍♀️

-He suffering multiple heart attacks a day people get this man off facebook🙌

-And then Levi will come over and see that Erwin has been writing hate comments under pictures of mens bulges on his computer🧍‍♂️

-Who gave this guy the tech knowledge to b able to cyber bully but not to close his damn tabs sheesh

-He's also become a top poster on one of the Trump groups that he follows ✊✊

-Also he uses the N word a lot 🧍‍♂️

Mr big tits (Bible, BBQ and an AK47)

-Oh my dear lovely big breasted Reiner Braun🍒🍒

-tells everyone abt how his papi went to 'nam and died when in reality his papi waz just a bich and left early🤫

-Not enough valour for him ig

-Even tho homeboy aint in the army 🫡 anymore he still stocks up more ammo than his local police department. 🫶🫰

-Hes just a🔅 cutesy little😻 hoarder with a cuetsy little collection of firearms too. 🤤🥰💖🩷🩵💙

-he will also wear cammo vests to the supermarket just to buy himself some spinach. He's a cammo boy. It's all he wears. 😮‍💨

-Aside from his gun collection and cammo obession, Reiner also loves a bit of BBQ here and there.

-believes the Founding Fathers’ original intent included God, guns, and smoked brisket.💪💪🦅🦅

-And country music of course.

-He's just a casual guy nothing too extreme😎🤠

-He owns a pair of american flag speedos tho, is confused as to why people need so many pronouns and passively aggressively competes in lawn care comps with his neighbor

-Somebody make this guy a father pls🥵😳🫃

Bechtolsheim :))))🦒🦒(Wall enthusiast)

-Oh my berty boy whom i love love love😤💕

-Let us b true with ourselves guys mr daddy long legs🕷️here has all our hearts and souls encaptured in his nice ol sweaty palms. I can tell ya now he's a man of the lord. He's down on those knees for j-dawg night'n day bro 🙏. He daps up the homeboy holy spirit on his way to bible study wit Reiner. ✝️✝️🫰

-Boy sure knows how to resist those temptations. Satan who? Sorry, B-dawg doesn't know him

-Everyone just thinks he's a nice guy 🧍🏽... which he is obv 🙄

-(In the daytime🌞, he's bertholdt, just a normal gurl💅🫦, living a normal life😸😝... but theres ✨something✨👁️👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 about him🧌🥸😱 that, no one ⁉️knows yet⁉️.... 🤨🧐cause he has secrets🤭🥵🥵👹👹👹......)

-he used to b part of a terrorist group.

-☠️

-BUT HES IS(IS) A NICE GUY HE WAS JUS A LIL BIT CONFUSED BACK THEN an thats okay baby everyone gets a bit confused sometimes.

-AND this was before he met God mkay.

-But yeah, now bertholdt has a burning descrimination against muslims.

-Its the trauma man.

-His stereotyping and racism is like a festering cancer, he fights it everyday like a champ 💃💃✊

-And what does this have to do with being a trumpee you might ask?🧐

-Immigration.

-He wants em' all deported

-SOMETIMES Berts inner darkness wins out. He wants to forget his past, he wants to throw it right outta his window!... and out of his country....🦅🦅🇺🇸🤠🍟🍔

-This boy has seen some stuff🙇🏻🥺. And he's slowly getting better with his muslophobia. He tries. The lawd is his chemo, slowly trying to vanquish this dark dark part of himself 👿🦹, bit by bit.

-Never underestimate the power of the lord. Amen.😗

(All u christians go hard tho fr, mad respect. And all u muslims out there we buddies, go snatch that Quran and be a boss kachow)

Historian Reiss (Progress? Don't you mean bull-kaka?)

-SOMEBODY CALL THE TRAD WIFES UP IN HERE👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♂️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️👰‍♀️

-Girly says that the 1950s were PEAK even tho the closest thing to diversity back then was whether or not u liked jazz 🎶🎶😎

-Oh yeah she sure misses them polio days 🤤😻

-But in all seriousness she probs wears those big pantaloon undies😱🥶 like gurl u aint going parachuting thru the clouds just wear normal ones

-She's always googling how to make her child rearing hips bigger🤰🤰

-Not a single pair of pants in HER wardrobe. Not that she'd be able to wear them with her double storage solution underpants. Dresses and skirts ONLY.

-Also they must all be FLOOR length to hide those temptatious ankles🥵🥵😩

-Our modest queen🫡

-She aint trust no supermarket ultra processed shit food either she gets her eggs straight from her own chickens ass🦆 and she grows her own veggies n stuff. Good for her 🤙💪💪

-Although she did once collapse ffrom an iron deficiency cuz she couldn't find her own meat source poor girl

-she hit her head and was unconious for lik 3 days

-Her neighbors saw her undies before they saw her🪂🪂🪂

PIXIS (Mommy, can we put grandpa back into the retirement home now?)

-Bros worse than the braus and springer daddies👹👹👹👹

-He could not only write an entire 500-chapter-50k-words-per-chapter-ten-part book series abt gay frogs🫦, fake moon landings🙀, reptilian politicians🐸, 5G towers, Big pharma, chem trails🥵😷 ect ect ect but he could fact check the entire thing with blurry memes off facebook sent to him by his cousin randy

-He's a fuckin conspricay chad, unstoppable, admirable, irrestistable, alcoholic, crazy, cute🥺, chic, chadilicious bald man👨🏽‍🦲👨🏽‍🦲

-His children shipped him off to a home as soon as he turned 60 and his knee vaguely started hurting

-Hes too powerful

-Pixis does gets invited to special occasions tho cuz his family feel slightly bad

-He be an anti-science, pro magic, potter grade, wizard baby🧙‍♂️. Of course the government control the weather, of course climate change isn't real. 🤷‍♀️

-And he tell everryyyboodddyyy @ the dinner table baby👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

-There are actually 8 wonders of this world. His offspring. How the. frick did they turn out so normal?🤨

-Anyways he managed to manipulate his son in law once and accidently caused a divorce

-Now he only gets invited to christmas

-And somehow he sneaks flasks of whatever into his nursing home illegally seals them out to all his nursing home pals.

-He's got an army of at least 15 of them that he's planning a coup with.🥳😏

-He also owns a MAGAs hat and suffers from mild heartburn because he only eats steak

Floch (LIBERATE THE MEN, WOMEN ARE THOTS)

-Another country boy but hes a skinny country boy who doesn't own a diesel guzzling man truck or get high blood pressure from eating steak 24/7.

-He lives wit his mama and eats the pasta salad she makes him for sunday lunch. 🧑‍🌾

-But yes he's still a freaky lil fanatic👹🧑‍🌾

-Imagine he lives in a world without pimp-dawg Eren Tate-ger. Whose Floch supposed to follow??? huh??? Donald thats who. Donald trump💪🦵.

-And andrew tate of course👨🏽‍🦲

-He's one of them red pillers who can sniff out a womans virginity from a mile away

-"Wats ur body count???"

-and hes very patriotic too:

-TRUMP IS JESUS 2.0, MY MAN THONG HAS AN EAGLE ON IT,CKAWW CAWW CAWWWW SAY YOU CAN SEE BY THE DAWN EARLY LIGHT WHAT SO PROUDLY WE HAILED AND THE TWILIGHTS LAST GLEAMING🦅🦅🏈🏈🇺🇸🇺🇸???!!!!???? DADDY TRUMPS TAN IS NOT FAKE GUYS WTFFF😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🖕🖕🖕

-He's like a freaky little jehovah's witness guys

-he's so alpha dont you think?🐺🐺🐺

A/N: Sorry I think i fell off a bit at the end but I couldn't b bothered. Also yes ik the bertoldth one was a little wild but dont report me babes thank u very much. later losers.

[impactdial]

(found this old zosopp fic wip and decided to clean it up a bit and post it here! zosoppers come get your snack lol. sorry for the tired tiger metaphors)

Zoro was well aware of the self imposed curse he’d laid upon himself. After Kuina’s passing, he had thrown himself into endless training to fulfill his promise and as a result, he rarely bothered with other people. Naturally, when his reputation had grown as a bounty hunter, most people avoided him anyway; thus Zoro was used to keeping a certain distance between himself and those around him. Becoming a Straw Hat challenged that distance, especially with a captain like Luffy. 

But Zoro was accustomed to destruction. Had known it intimately for years when his grief had weighed heavier and he swung it in tandem with Wado clenched between his jaws tight enough to ache. A rampaging creature provoked by the sight and heavy smell of blood, his blades akin to claws used to mangle flesh and spread fear. His crewmates had worn down the worst of him, whittling him into a shape they could hold without worry of his edges cutting them. 

Perhaps it was Zoro’s fault for not discouraging it, but Usopp eventually drew closer over time, like he was hellbent on it. Given the sniper's affinity for physical touch, much like their captain, maybe it was just unavoidable on Usopp's part. Taming the tiger, so to speak, making him as much a pet as a protector.

But a tamed beast was not the same as a domesticated one.

Hesitant touches soon became clingy and seeking for attention or comfort; Usopp's lean frame pressing into Zoro's side became second nature. Card games with distracted conversation became typical (though truthfully they were mostly one sided--Zoro much preferred to listen and Usopp never seemed to mind).

Usopp dared to place his hand in the tiger’s jaws. And Zoro, for all his foolishness, allowed it.

It wasn’t until the incident at Water 7 when the jaws finally snapped closed and Usopp was left with a deep, spilling wound for his trouble. Guilt lodged itself firmly in Zoro’s chest even long after their sniper returned to them, and he was sick with it when Usopp attempted to mend the hurt between them. That alone bothered Zoro, that Usopp even thought he had to mend anything, and he was furious to learn that Usopp thought he even needed to prove himself worthy again, even though Luffy had said otherwise. (It later dawned on him it wasn’t strictly Luffy’s approval Usopp wanted, and something inside him had ached terribly.)

Then, suddenly, it was Zoro who was afraid. Fearful of wringing Usopp’s recovering heart dry with more caustic words, ruining him beyond repair. 

And yet, despite everything, Usopp kept clinging, kept putting his hands between the same metaphorical tiger's teeth that had already cut into him so deeply. His content expression and warm touch contradicted the tremble of his body when Zoro unintentionally squeezed him a bit too tight in his arms.

Usopp might have been foolhardy for attempting to domesticate the petulant beast that was Zoro’s heart, but Zoro knew he was just as (if not more) guilty for failing to shut it down. It was too late; the tiger had grown accustomed to being regarded as a lazy house cat, but the hunger was still that of a tiger.

[yanluvr]

my yandere dog hybrid oc, max

info below

age: 22

gender: male

height: 6’2” ft

pronouns: he/him

species: border collie/wolf hybrid

likes: walks, cuddles, play fighting, bacon, YOU

dislikes: not having your attention, baths, being away from you in long periods of time, going back to the warehouse.

backstory: max was raised in a old warehouse that hosted illegal dog hybrid fights. he never knew who his parents were, the only parental figure max had was an older pit bull hybrid named tex who was also the strongest hybrid there. tex took in max out of pity and raised him as his own. tex tried his best to hide max from the big bad boss who owned the warehouse, but he knew that it was only a matter of time before the boss found out. so tex used his status to find out ways to escape the warehouse, but he found only one.

by the time max was sixteen, tex noticed that he wasn’t a normal hybrid. max’s claws were sharp and continued to grow even if he cut them, his height was above what a teenager his age should be (5’8” ft), his bite force and true form were stronger than even tex’s form. that was when he knew that max was a dog/wolf mixed hybrid, and that was the final straw that made tex pack whatever valuables he had and try to escape the warehouse.

but unfortunately for the two hybrids, they were caught by the guards and tex was shot down for trying to attack them, and max was knocked out with a tranquilizer and brought back to his cell. max was crushed by tex’s death, and swore that once he was strong enough to take care of himself, he would kill the big boss and escape this hell. since tex was gone; max was soon put in the rings to fight for his life, like tex was trying so hard to prevent.

five years have passed since tex’s death, and because of the endless matches max was forced to go through, he quickly rose up to the strongest. he thus begun his escape. breaking out his his cage, killing guards left and right, releasing his fellow prisoners, and finally killing the big boss with ease. when max stepped foot out of the warehouse, he felt like a changed beast. he was finally free. if only tex could see him now.

max disguised himself with a worn out hoodie he found in a trash can, and quickly searched for something to eat. he found a fast food restaurant that wasn’t really packed and went behind the building to see if there was any decent foods in the dumpster, and that was when you appeared. you were just doing your job by taking out the garbage, so you would’ve never expected to see a bulking hybrid digging through the trash.

but instead of screaming at max to leave, you just stared at him the same way tex did when he found him. you gently smiled at max, and asked for his name. you were so kind to him, so gentle, and so generous. you took him home with you, gave him a bath he oh so desperately needed, and guided him to sit next to you in the couch. max has been in love with you ever since, and he made another promise to himself to protect you no matter what it took and that he would make you his mate forever.