#be-kind-enough-not-to-get-angry
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Kindness is universal. Sometimes being kind allows others to see the goodness in humanity through you. Always be kinder than necessary.
Germany Kent
#quotes#Germany Kent#thepersonalwords#literature#life quotes#prose#lit#spilled ink#answer-to-a-prayer#be-kind#be-kind-enough-not-to-get-angry#be-kind-quotes#be-kind-to-all#be-kind-to-others#be-kind-to-someone#be-kind-today#be-kinder#be-the-change#be-the-change-quotes#be-the-hero-you-can-t-find#be-the-joy-of-others#be-the-light#be-the-light-in-someone-s-life#be-the-light-quote#be-the-light-quotes#be-the-lighthouse#being-kind#being-kind-and-humble#being-kind-to-your-fellow-woman#change
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Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!
Mentioning an unfamiliar name
yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..
I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.
#null rot#yandere kny#yandere demon slayer#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#hantengu#hantengu clones#sekido#karaku#urogi#aizetsu#midori306#YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THE YANDERE QUESTION MY BELOVED CULT MEMBER#uwaa and i recently checked back on their designs.. THEY HAVE LONG SLANTED EARS DUDE WHAT THE FUCKKK THATS LIKE THE CUTEST EVER#i tend to shitpost and focus on the dere than the yan but thats my mistake!! im sorry cult members.. I'll need scarousal#when calling sekdio. he pretends to ignore you but you can tell he heard you when his ear twitches#He's flabbergasted that you met someone else to begin with. who let you go out without one of them?!#hes too shocked and angry to even properly get upset!!#Karaku loves everything you have to say. less so if its positive abt someone else. still listens tho. listening carefully for details..#he doesnt mind others eyeing you. youre perfect in his eyes. who wouldnt? still.. thats not gonna fly well.#Urogi loves when you seek him out but mentioning someone else... is bc you want to feed him right? ofc! you want to benefit him!#its cause hes your favorite! yeah! youre so sweet!!! ofc he'll get rid of someone for you both!!#Aizetsu's bashful. he feels put on the spot when calling him but hes always hoping you give him affection of some kind. always ready for yo#mentioning someone else was NOT what he wanted and now hes sad.. youre making him sad.. whats so important you had to bring that up?#The thought of anyone else makes him feel so exhausted already.. wont you comfort him instead? he needs you now.. atone for your mistakes#uwaa expressions.. uwaaa aizetsu releasing some of the tension in his brows when hes feeling upset towards you uWAA#i CANT RAMBLE ENOUGH IN THE TAGS SO WAIT FOR THE POST I HAVE IN THE BACK BURNER FROM SOMEONE ELSE WHO ASKED FOR SOMETHING SIMILAR!!!!!!!
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Out of Context Stuff for a Danyal Al Ghul au i haven't posted - Pit Beast Danyal
Damian, 13: Look, Danyal, -- I am so sorry for everything that happened between us in the League, I hope you can forgive me.
Danny, 10 (allegedly): (has been secretly plotting to murder Damian this whole time, is still gonna do it obvs, but is going to make it significantly less painful now)
Danny: I-- of course, older brother. :]
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Bruce: what do you have there, Damian?
Damian:
Danny: (a hulking 10ft pit beast standing beside him, growling idly with ram horns gouging out his eyes and a second set of horns jutting into the air, spines down his back, and a long, spiked tail with an animalistic, skull-like face)
Damian, who smuggled him in (they've made amends): a smoothie, father
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Damian: this is my little brother Danyal, i murdered him when he was five. He festered in rage for the last half-a decade, took over a League mountain base in Switzerland, murdered everyone inside and then tried to murder me when I went to investigate with Drake.
Danny: hello!
Damian: we're cool now
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Damian: thoughts on resurrection
Danny, (a full ghost): i will succeed in murdering you if you try it
Damian: we'll put a pin in it then
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Danny (still instilled with League values): why don't we just murder him??
Damian, on patrol (Danny followed him): we don't murder people, Danyal
Danyal:,,,,are you sick, Dami?? Have you been possessed? Why not!?
(There is raucous laughing through the comms)
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Danny, five, pre-death: Dami! :D
Danny, dead, vengeful: Older brother (:
Danny, post-forgiveness: Dami! :]
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For some actual context: Danny is fully dead in this au, its a result of the classic DPxDC Demon Twins "death duel" trope but instead of Danny getting revived, he stays fully dead. Danny was five, Damian was seven. His ghost lingered though, and due to the proximity of the pits his ghost steadily absorbed the ambient energy it was letting off. The pits are not corrupted ectoplasm in this au, it's just liquid ecto.
Which means Danny's corruption from an angry and hurt little ghost boy to an unrecognizable monster is from his own doing. It's a result of him stewing in his hurt and anger for years, it physically warped him. He's very powerful. Danny can travel between League Bases but chose a small, out-of-the-way base in the Swiss mountains to fester in and then just. Never Left.
His influence steeped into the very foundations of the building, allowing him to transform and warp the rooms and hallways for his own bidding, Meaning he could turn it into a seemingly unending labyrinth if he so wished to, and block the entrance.
Eventually, blinded (both metaphorically and physically) by his own rage, Danny grew powerful enough to appear physically in the living realm and attacked everyone in the base, slaughtering them all and leaving the base abandoned. He attacks anyone who dares enter -- whether that be other league members, or the unfortunate hiker who stumbled across the base. His conscious is steeped into every nook and cranny of the building, there is nowhere you can hide where he can't find. Nobody leaves without his explicit say so. Nobody ever does.
Him appearing as ten years old before Damian in the skits above is his own physical doing. First it was to prevent Damian from being suspicious of him. Damian initially thought Danny was revived with the pits, he was too busy with his own training afterwards to notice that Danny never showed up again, and when he did notice, he assumed it was because Danny was too ashamed of his loss to face him. He'd always forget to ask about him.
Then it becomes a personal choice to appear as ten. It's how old he would've been had he been alive.
danny forgiving Damian is kinda for an offshoot branch of the main au. Whereas the main au takes the form of a ps4 first person horror game where Damian and Tim are investigating the Base for Plot Reasons. There's no sign of the rumored "monster" living inside until the end, where Danny, who was found inside the Base and has been happily "helping" them look around, manages to persuade Damian into splitting off from Tim in order to "show him something."
This something turns out to be Danny revealing that he never really forgave Damian for that fight, and he reveals through a horrifying transformation, that he was the monster the whole time. Which the game subtly hints at throughout as Danny's strange behavior becomes harder to ignore.
First from his insistence to only refer to Damian as "older brother" (when before the duel he always called him Damian or Dami), to him right off the bat denying the existence of a monster when questioned. ("There's no monster here, older brother. It's just me.") To other various things, like his knowledge of the outside world not matching up to modern times or things going on with the league outside of the base, or what happened to the other league members.
This whole idea was inspired by the song "Scylla" from Epic the Musical, with Danyal being the voice of Scylla as well as Odysseus, while Damian stands as Eurylochus. The instrumentals after Scylla says "hello" is him turning into the pit beast, and Scylla's "drown in your sorrow and fears" part is danny, as the pit beast, snarling at Damian while he attacks him.
There's a Good Ending, a Bad Ending, and a True Ending. The Bad Ending results in Damian being killed by Danny, it happens when Damian decides not to question or suspect Danny and treats him kindly. The Bad Ending is a cutscene, where Danny kills Damian quick and painlessly.
Meanwhile the Good Ending is Damian killing Danny. This is a boss fight, and it happens when Damian treats Danny coldly and suspiciously the whole time. Danny as a result, decides to make Damian's death painful as he had planned to, which is why it's a boss fight because it only causes him to double down on his anger.
The True Ending is Damian escapes with Tim. It happens when you treat Danny warmly up until the last minute, where when Danny proposes to Damian that he wants to show him something, Damian goes to talk to Tim and finally, reluctantly agrees that something is off with Danny, and that he'll be careful going in. It starts off with the boss fight until a third through, where it then changes to a cutscene where Tim manages to get the door open and Damian escapes out. It's then a chase scene down a never-ending hallway as the building actively works to keep you trapped inside. But you eventually make it to the exit so long as you avoid all the projectiles and doors.
Remember when I mentioned that Danny only lets people leave when he wants them to? That's where the treating Danny kindly throughout the game comes into play. It causes him to second guess himself and, eventually, reawaken and strengthen the love and admiration he had for Damian prior to his murder. It's why in the Bad Ending he kills Damian quickly -- because by then, he loves him enough that he doesn't want him to suffer, but is still so consumed by his rage and need for vengeance that he kills him anyways. That quiet part is what allows Damian (and Tim) to find the exit, because some part of Danny still loves Damian enough that he wants him to live.
The True Ending ends with a cutscene of Damian and Tim tumbling out into the snow/grass outside of the base. Damian looks up back to the entrance to see Danny standing there. But rather than a ten year old boy, there's a little five year old Danyal Al Ghul instead. He stares at Damian emotionlessly, blood seeping from his chest, staining his clothes, and little, bloody sword in his hands and tearstains on his cheeks, before he turns away and disappears back into the building.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danyal al ghul au#danny phantom#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#pit beast danny#danyal al ghul#dpxdc au#damian and danny forgiveness route is kinda like a post-true ending idea where damian decides to return to the base and find a way to help#danny.#and also because nobody in that fucking family processes grief in any kind of sane way he is also plotting a way to resurrect his dead#brother with the lazarus pits. he just needs to find where he was buried. and also hopefully get danny's permission. he's gonna do it anywa#but it'll be nicer if danny agrees to it beforehand. that way danny isn't angry with him when he eventually revives him#also if tim dies at any point during the game you have to restart to your last save point. there's not many opportunities for him to becaus#danny is honestly not that interested in him but its still there. some details for the game: danny's pit beast model has the highest#resolution out of everything there. meanwhile his human model has the lowest. he also lacks a shadow and his voice carries a strange echo#that's subtle enough to sound like an accidental audio mistake. his voice gets more warped as the good ending progresses and becomes more#human during both the true and bad ending. it indicates his forgiveness and growing care for damian. while in the good ending he gradually#grows more pissed.#danny has shit eyesight as a result of his eyes being gouged out for years. but since he's literally one with the building he doesn't#need any help walking through it. he can travel it with his eyes closed. if he's anywhere else though he needs to be holding onto something#he also has one eye covered in bandages in his ten year old form because he can't get that eye to heal and look human.
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#monster hunter au#monster hunter au fanart#cockroachdoodles#Listen.... I can see how he acts like a puppy around him....#The only one he might not be scared to freely act around and will to ask for affection#at the same time being a bit scared that he might leave him?...#Kind of.... he just snatched him so fast to get him away from danger#He already ready to protect him#Being grateful for what he did from him in the past#He surely could die back then!#OH HOW I love that he can't speak....#And the fact that Ratchet doesn't know that it is that same beast....#I mean of course he might have saved another beast and it would have been grateful to him but be angry enough at his kind to just run away#from him leaving him behind. He is just his saviour âand I saved him by not eating himâ#But Deadlock just basically was saved twice. Trying to pay him off#And being all puppy and clumsy....#Growing up yet almost not changing ehehehe...#Wondering if there will be Wing....
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Barty is provocative as fuck and James is easy to rile up. Usually, it just leads to James storming off with Barty laughing. One time, James was having his own problems, and Barty came by and started a fight. James said the most offensive personal thing ever that got Barty so mad, he got personal too. Then they both are just yelling at each other, and everyone is kind of scared to pull them apart. Eventually James just tells him to fuck off and Barty does, for the first time, storm off.
They were seen making out later that night
#Idk guys#i just love them being angry#barty brings the worse out of james#like dont tell me all of the kindness james feels doesnt go down the drain when barty starts yapping#he shit talks barty a lot#but weirdly enough he will only be vulnerable with barty#his inner rage and pure raw unfoltered emotions only come out when barty is pulling him#and barty who lovws entertainment likes to say some stuff that james do not like#he does it anyway cause he doesnt care#he hates when people get too personal#he also hates acknowledging his problems#so when james points it out he hates it to a burning passion#but he needs james to point it out cause he will never listen to amyone else who will#but it also gets him angry and psychotic#theyre just gay#james potter#barty crouch jr#james fleamont potter#barty crouch junior#sunkiller#darksun#james x barty#iliyas yaps#iliyas hcs
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I'm genuinely devastated about DBD being canceled. but more than that, I'm ANGRY.
what's the plan, Netflix? you're mad that new people aren't signing up because you're so ubiquitous that everyone on earth who wants an account already has one, so instead of focusing on retaining your current viewers, you piss them off? snap up cool projects so other networks can't have them and then cancel them after a single season? how is this a good business model in the short OR long term?
I will not be giving them my money or my eyeballs anymore. and maybe they will use that as evidence that they shouldn't make any more queer shows. maybe they will use that as an excuse to cancel them. but if a good show with thousands of dedicated fans doesn't merit a second season, I don't trust them with future projects.
#im so fucking angry#i just needed to rant#theres no way netflix will see this lr give a shit#but i had to get it out#im so tired. im tired of only mattering as a consumer#but EVEN THAT isnt enough because im not the right kind. or there arent a million of me.#i adore the fandom and hope we will all continue to love this show together#and im going to be a positive presence in the fandom overall#i just needed to get this out#dead boy detectives
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knowing I will be misgendered for the rest of my life and essentially being forced to begrudgingly accept that reality does not make it any easier or less exhausting or wearing on my soul every time it happens
#i am so happy with my gender and what i have done to get where i am but my god#as it happens i try to just shrug it off but its a weight that accumulates and how much longer before i breakdown or get angry and cold#i am kind of just real tired being surrounded by cis people all fay every day#and surrounded by people who are performative allies#and paying ungodly amounts of money to an institution where only a small percentage of faculty actually try/care#is life not exhausting enough to then be invalidated at every corner? whatever#the speaking clown
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i made interps of 2p liech and 2p swiss so many years ago but never posted em... not sure where the files are now. >__< but i finally am working on the new ones lol. i know that 2p swiss and 2p liech arent as popular, but theyre one of the few i have an Actual history planned out for.
tldr: the worlds ultimate paranoid germaphobe and his creepy little sister, who is armed with lysol wipes and also a Gun
#(in tears) and they were adopted siblings...#hetalia#2p hetalia#2p liechtenstein#2p switzerland#not an ask#switzerland: liech PLEASE dont kill anyone. ur going to get blood everywhere... [pause] ALSO ITS WRONG#liech: T_T okey..#i took the implications of swiss isolation + the home of the red cross and went nuts..#oh? medical themes? AND isolation? youre kidding me. i can do so much with him.#and as for liech... in a world like 2p where cruelty isnt just inevitable; its EXPECTED#for her to be saved... to have nothing to give to be worth nothing at all... and to be saved...#i think. switz's kindness hits a lil harder in this world#so shes like his scrappy little angry hate-filled guard dog chihuhua thing.#she is filled with hate yes.. but also love. <3#idea: switz has pity for humans but not like. good pity. he is sad that humans die so much so he does charity and red cross and peace work#but he has no respect for humans whatsoever... and not even nations to an extent tbh... those who mimic humans at least#ie those who are prone to human traits... childishness and indulgence and violence and ego and whatnot...#ok enough talking
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genuinely though, i think the fact that there's a good chance some of the most visible blogs in the fandom will insult you and your perspective if you disagree with them, indirectly but with more than enough context that anyone who's seen what you said would know its about you, has probably been disastrous for the state of CR meta on here
#i was so discouraged and confused the first couple times it happened to me! if i hadn't been as confident in my writing/analysis#and didn't find it kind of funny how angry some ppl were getting at posts i thought were very innocuous#i probably wouldn't have kept trying long enough to find like minded people in the fandom who appreciated what i had to say#and who say really interesting things in return! which is what makes it worth it when the fandom gets demoralizing now#crposting#cr discourse
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like on the one hand language matters and i too sometimes find slang trends annoying and/or concerning and on the other hand sometimes women do actually make jokes and talk shit on the internet with their friends and it is not actually that deep and commentary on phenomena gets to a weird point where iâm like i donât know how âthese idiot losers on the internet using a two to four word phrase they will have moved on from in a year are basically the primary cause of patriarchal oppressionâ is the feminist take. like sometimes i start to think the plot has been lost.
#girl dinner sort of radicalized me on this#but i recently saw (canât remember where) a really impassioned and genuinely angry and upset deep reading of âiâm just a girlâ#which more than anything made me think of the anti taylor swift redditors who think itâs super weird when swifties call her mother#bc theyâre online but in that particular reddit way where theyâre still offline enough to like. think swifties invented this#and that it came from their troubling psychosexual obsession with taylor swift#and is uniquely revealing of the swiftie mentality#instead of⊠well i donât have to explain it to you.#like are there people as accused in wherever i saw this trying to use âiâm just a girlâ to dodge accountability or refuse to grow or w/e?#yeah probably. people with bad personalities do all kinds of things!#i donât really believe in the hypothetical adult woman who would be learning and growing if only she had not encountered#people on the internet saying âiâm just a girlâ who gave her permission to thus infantilize herself#i think thatâs making up a guy to get mad at. girl to get mad at. whatever.#and like itâs complicated and if for example you said girl math to me i would become the joker instantlyâŠ.#butâŠ. idk. sometimes it feels weird! sometimes the vibes are off!#also i should be sleeping but i have had the HICCUPS#although working myself up about this seems to have distracted me while they calmed down
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oh so alisaieâs exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock
#say one thing wrong to me and you will have a wonderful few days with the rock#if angry silly girls have 100 fans etc if they have 0 fans i have died#sorry i saw a YouTube meme i vehemently disliked on principle and got mad at the only child behavior-#kipspeak#she is just short tempered and uses anger to mask other more âshamefulâ emotions!!! alphy did the same thing with just deciding not#to express them. which is still not good and I think why he breaks and ends up teary so often now#this shortness does not translate to actually being mean to people. she only uses being mean as a shield for herself and being snarky#Is just fun for her. itâs fun for Me. you have to inconsequentually tease people or theyâll never learn to laugh at themselves#the twins and thancred đ«” do this thing where they have big emotions but they donât want anyone to SEE they have big weird emotions#so alphy pretends he doesnât have them under a veneer of dignity and alisaie pretends the emotions are Something Else. thancred is#just so emotionally constipated he has trouble expressing anything. heâs got enough baggage for a flatbed#anyways. alisaie is such a compassionate and kind girl and she learned how to make snarky jokes and went ham. and she hates appearing sad o#weak or vulnerable so she blocks it off with an unapproachable emotion so no one pities her and they maybe get on with the plot#it is in fact also great at getting ppl to move away from the sad or embarrassing topic. even if the tradeoff is being more offputting#she would never (grabs youtube meme) she would never seriously bully her brother. this is sibling ribbing only. Cain instinct#just leave her be she is learning how to snark humor and she loves it she loves being sharp. alphy has wit he just keeps it close#my brother didnât learn how to tell or receive a joke until he was 14 he took everything so seriously. he can do it now though and heâs#HILARIOUS. Donât tell him I said that. my man knows exactly where the funny points are even if he hasnât learned when to stop yet#too many tags. Whatever. jokey snark alisaie who sometimes compliments is happy alisaie grouchy snappy angry alisaie is way too stressed#very easy way to tell between the two. even alphy can tell between the two I believe! He tends to rib back in protest if theyâre having fun#and try to stop her if theyâre not having fun. case in point âwhat is that supposed to mean?!â vs âalisaie ryne was only trying to help.â#I know theyâre twins but thatâs such an intensely older sibling thing to do that it reels me#LONG TAGS AND THREE EDITS TO ADD ON SHORT I resent this stereotype taken too far into ooc behavior. it happened with nya#It will happen again and as a postscript let me regale you with Things U Can Notice About Character Motivation and Actionsâ#Iâm not done let me s#she and raha are friends now I decree. âhaha you like meâ SPUTTERING PROTEST FROM BOTH
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you ever just. become overwhelmed by a sudden out-of-nowhere wave of tenderness and affection and longing for reconnection directed towards someone to whom you no longer speak for Very Good Reasons
#âout of nowhereâ she says like she hasnât been doing a lot of reading/thinking recently about various tragic messy breakups#and the later regrets of the parties involved#anyway. tell me not to text her#itâs been over two years since the last time we talked⊠absolutely no reason to break that streak now. lord give me strength#she was really fucking mean to me! like objectively intentionally unwarrantedly cruel! it ruined an entire year of my life#and fundamentally changed me as a person on a deep level! thereâs a lot of things i used to like about myself that i donât think iâm ever#going to get back#and yet every once in a while we have to do the whole âmaybe i could make things rightâ song and dance đ#the thing is most of the time iâm not even really angry with her anymore like enough time has passed since all the shit went down that#really i just sort of look at her behavior and feel sad. both because of the impact on me but also because of the âthatâs really how you#felt you needed to act towards someone who cared about you? you couldnât have just expressed your feelings in an honest and productive way#instead of just lashing out in the cruelest possible way and ruining the entire relationship beyond hope of repair?â#and i feel bad and sorry that it went that way and honestly i kind of pity her and hope sheâs gotten some of her shit worked out#so iâm not like. actively pissed off at her anymore. but also i canât think about her without thinking about the worst year of my life so đ#i donât actually feel that trying to reopen that door would be very healthy for me at least#we did try a Reconciliation of sorts a couple of months after the initial falling-out and while it was kind of helpful for me in that she#like. apologized lmao. and affirmed that i wasnât crazy and she did in fact On Purpose say the most hurtful things she possibly could have#said to me given the information she had at her disposal. and that i really had not done anything to her that could warrant that. etc.#it also left a sour enough taste in my mouth that i just donât see a future where the two of us spending time together is enjoyable for me#and yet⊠the regret will always live inside me i think. maybe if i were a stronger personâŠ#caseyposting
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i know this has been said 473773474833 times by the kavetham/haikaveh shippers and probably even nonshippers, but i'll say it again. I finally finished the genshin summer event and did the little after quest in sumeru and.....every time kaveh is sneaking around trying not to be noticed coming out of alhaithams house it's just such a gay vibe. he's basically screaming "I can't be caught being gay in a homophobic society!" even if that's not what the game writers are *actually* saying. that's just how it comes off and they can't make it come off any other way. with hoyo's gay history, it makes me wonder if it's on purpose and all a cover-up to have a technically different reason for it so they can get away with it lmao but we will never know.
#lee text#genshins#i can acknowledge how gay they are without liking thr ship#flashback to several kavetham/haikaveh (whatevwr their ship name is) shippers on here attacking me over not liking the ship#trying to âeducateâ me on why theyre sk gay and why i should ship it#look i didnt say they arent gay af. and these shippers dismissed my feelings completely#i think it was after that one event with the competition thing that kaveh won? idk but just they way they interacted#the way alhaitham talked to kaveh and the way kaveh responded TRIGGERED A TRAUMA RESPONSE IN ME#which made me dislike the ship and their dynamic! i didnt CARE if he was well meaning. the way he talked to kaveh#triggered a fight or flight response in me because it sounded similar to how ive been talked to and kaveh getting upset was similar to#how ive reacted to the same words. you can also argue my family cares about me like alhaitham does kaveh and its how he helps#but it doesnt mean its the kind of help we need and it doenst traumatize us lmao#so i dont get why people were so angry at me for getting triggered by this ship and disliking it for that reason#while i can still admit that they are gay af and seem to get a long a bit better after that and i can tolerate them now#since its been a while and i dont remember it enough to have a trauma response when seeing them anymore lmao#but its just annoying that shippers can be so toxic đ they care more about their fictional men ship than me. a real person. weird#not tagging the ship so i dont get more angry shippers in my notes....but they found me last time with no tags so hi. dont yell at me again!#but maybe no one will care since im putting my âanti ship propagandaâ in the tags this time and not the main post lmao#just dont read my tags so you dont get mad at me for being uncomfortable by this ship dynamic. but if youre reading this...its too late#leave me alone they arent real and i am so im more important right đ
#let me shame the shippers that dismissed my real feelings because they think their ship is more important than a real person lmao#you cant tell me im wrong when a trauma response isnt a choice and happens against your will đ#BE ASHAMED YOU NERDS#I WILL BITE YOUR KNEECAPS#sorry i just had to vent lmao
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begging twitter to stop showing me tweets of people with no reading comprehension misrepresenting things I said but since i was going to make this more in-depth post Anyway .
when i say imogen is better read as a metaphor for generational trauma than she is a metaphor for queerness or chronic pain, iâm not talking about legitimate traits she has as a character. obviously she is queer. obviously she experiences some form of chronic pain (though i would argue her magic better suits chronic illness not pain because she states that itâs Not always painful, but it does always influence how she lives her life).
when i talk about how well sheâs understood as a metaphor, iâm talking about when iâm looking at her as a part of a story, as an arc that i am witnessing rather than in the more typical fandom way of this is a fictional person who interacts with exandria as real people do. and that is a fun way to interact with characters, i enjoy it a lot! but when i say imogen (to me, as i for some reason have to clarify on my own blog which implies that these are my own opinions and not absolute fact that needs to be accepted by people on the internet with different experience and opinions than me) is best read as a metaphor for generational trauma, it isnât a dismissal of her queerness or her illness, itâs just me thinking looking at her from that angle is more compelling.
imogen has been one of my favourite characters and least favourite characters in campaign 3 because i tend to analyse her through a lens of generational trauma and she ends up looking extremely familiar to me as someone with a family that carries theirâs heavily which is as comforting as it is frustrating.
for me the main thing that looking at imogen through a queer lens of literary analysis fails to account for is harm. on the one hand - the harm that imogen experiences, not because of how people treat her for who she is, but that exists simply as a factor of her being ruidusborn. on the other hand a the harm that imogen causes. not to say that she is some malicious villain waiting for her chance to harm others, but that there are things about being ruidusborn that very much do incline her towards violence in a way that she might not otherwise be - i think about the conversation after she went nuclear and chet brought up people being scared of her connecting that to her father keeping distance. the only harm that queerness provides comes from society, and that isnât the case in exandria. even metaphorically, the thing that society fears in ruidusborn people (while it has certainly been exacerbated by centuries of superstition and practices like we saw in zephrah) is a tangible threat. imogenâs magic when not controlled can wipe out a city block, but queerness poses no threat.
thatâs why iâm not compelled by imogenâs backstory as a queer metaphor. not because iâm some imodna anti (i very emphatically am not but this fandom kinda makes me wish i was sometimes) or because i think exandriaâs lack of homophobia/transphobia means that characters canât be viewed through a queer lens or that critical role doesnât contain some of the most compelling queer metaphor iâve encountered. imogen just isnât one of those characters, not because she isnât queer, or because i think her story shouldnât resonate with queer people, just because i find the generational trauma angle more consistent.
itâs similar with the chronic illness angle, which i will refer to as illness but youâre welcome to emphasise pain, we all have different vocabularies for the experiences we face. but just to give context iâm running off lauraâs comparison of imogenâs powers to her own sensory issues and anxiety which while often Lead to pain, fall more into chronic illness in imogenâs context to me. and i do think thereâs substantial comparison for imogenâs story as a metaphor for chronic illness, but i think that was much more true earlier in the campaign than it is looking at her from the current context. her beginning motivation being her search for knowledge about her powers really resonated with me as similar to someone experiencing symptoms of chronic illness but who could neither figure out how to treat them or what they were caused by.
but then imogen got more information, specifically about her mother, and her priority became not understanding her powers but understanding her current state as a person - how had she become the person she is, inclusive of her powers but very much emphasising her lack of a mother who became more and more present in the unweaving web of ruidusborn lore. thatâs when i was less compelled by the chronic illness reading and more compelled by viewing her as a metaphor for generational trauma. had that not been enough on its own, imogenâs visit to relvin and her recent thoughts on her mother would be enough to convince me.
the part that makes me hesitant about this post is that generational trauma is so intensely linked to the contexts under which it is created and perpetuated. so i canât really point to specific scenes as evidence of specific things that prove generational trauma is the most compelling and i donât really want to unload that much of my own experience to clarify my thoughts on a character. but vaguely, i will say that imogenâs relationship with her parents is obviously the clearest source for my reading her as a metaphor for generational trauma. the fact that relvin, the only person in her family without the thing that draws societyâs ire, is also the person that she has the most willing anger at is also indicative of this to me. in general, imogenâs rage that so easily transitions into sadness and vice versa comes out a lot in conversations about parents. most recently, i think about ashtonâs lovely speech about found family and his distrust about parents and how as they were speaking, laura seemed to be playing imogen as sadly in thought versus months ago when fearnes parents showed up with striking similarities to liliana and imogenâs words of wisdom were letâs hurt them all.
and like. to me that angersadnessvengeancegrief is particularly evocative of the feelings that arise when you are in a family with generational trauma, especially when you are aware of it. because imogen can and has followed the logical steps that have led her and her family to where they are. early on when recounting her relationship with her dad she seemed wistful but understanding of the distance between them. in nearly every encountered with a parental figure imogen seems to be some level of distrusting for the most part, but sheâs still holding out hope that her mother will see the good side. and further, thereâs the complication of how dire her losing her powers seems to be, and how inextricable her powers are from every aspect of her life. sheâs also southern and from a blue collar family. this means nothing except it also means a whole lot.
this is messy and not well organised but if you want a good essay youâre gonna have to pay me money for it but tldr: i say things i believe on my This Is My Opinion Blog and i donât think i need to explain my thoughts to strangers on the internet but this was already half written in my drafts and if people are gonna shit on my opinions please at least do it in good faith and shit on my actual opinions not the ones youâve decided i have.
#itâs just the. your mother leaves and you know nothing you donât even know that she Chose to leave you just know sheâs gone#and your father is there in every way he can be which isnât Enough#and then. you do the same thing your mom did and you find the answers she found but. youâre finding a way out of it . not Completely .#and not Perfectly. but enough that youâre angry that the world wasnât kind enough to her to give her a way out#and youâre angry that she probably wouldnât have taken a way out if she found it#and youâre just. getting hurt by her over and over and youâre putting your life and friends at risk over and over in the thin Hope#that this time when she hears you out sheâll actually Hear you#also . just in general. i do not worship the ground of the mn campaign for anyone to accuse me of thinking cr characters canât be queercoded#iâm stronger than you . i see the queerness of fjorester which only people with real reading comprehension understand .#anyway this is all light hearted if i was actually like . Mad this would be like. one sentence long#imogen temult#cr3#critical role#the temults#cr meta#listen man. imogen is personal to me i hate her i love her i want to hit her i want to hug her i canât look at her i wanna study her#my posts
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First of all, a delightful name for a quest. Love it.
Second of all, this honestly should've been a short quest where you collect clues and have some banter, which would culminate in this conversation. I think as such this conversation is perfectly fine. (Well, at least with my limited knowledge of the topic as a cis woman.) However, just going there and having this talk, without more context and a little more build up, feels... a little abrupt, and (maybe I'm dense but) I was confused about how Taash arrived at the conclusion that the Antaam was blighting dragons. (Then again, when playing a new game, I can get distracted, so I might have missed something before.) They identify the Antaam by finding the ropes, which makes sense to me, but the rest seems less clear. I do appreciate what they're trying to do with Taash and the kind of story they're trying to tell, probably knowing full well how that's going to go, considering the state of the internet these days. I think that's great, and I really enjoy Taash as a character. But I said in my "review" before that Taash could use more questing, and I wanted to show what I meant. This is one of those moments when I thought, "This should've been a short quest instead of just a dialogue cutscene." Then again, I like dialogue cutscenes, so I can't complain too much, but I do think that if there were some more clues and banter leading up to this conversation, it would help us better understand the situation with the blighted dragons, because that tells us something about the methods of the main villains which connects it to the main plot, and also Taash as a character that is working through something very difficult which is undoubtedly a process worth showing.
#Dragon Age#Dragon Age: The Veilguard#DATV#Veilguard#Taash#DATV spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#honestly I can barely imagine what it's like to be figuring this all out in real life with access to the internet#let alone in a universe where you have maybe some books and a word of mouth - thankfully we have Neve's connections#but I've got to say that the stuff Taash is going through is surprisingly relatable... except for them it's an identity thing#and for me it is... was... internalized misogyny I guess... and norms and stereotypes#'nobody likes to be a woman'#'she said I act more like a man than a woman. why does it feel right?'#like I know this feeling and I'm a cis woman#funnily enough I was told I'm 'worse than a man' just a couple of days ago because I was angry haha#like this whole thing made me think about what being a woman even means to me and fuck if I know#like I'm not questioning my genderâ I'm fine in that department#but when I had my Rook say 'I do like being a woman' I thought 'do I?' don't think I've ever felt so strongly about it as to say I like it#but it's like... fine I guess#it definitely sometimes feels like I'm a woman in a different way than... well... most women I know#not in a 'not like the other girls' kind of way I mean. more like a bull in a china shop way in comparison#like I don't feel 'feminine' shaped enough or 'feminine' flavoured enough or whatever#like I want to be pretty and look good in a dress and I envy some women's 'feminine' beauty but at the same time... couldn't be me#I mean it's all bullshit isn't it? it shouldn't matter#but like I get it#I get where that is coming from
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Had a moment today that exemplifies how my family thinks but like, in a way thatâs just very sad and makes me glad I donât think that way.
Showed a relative the amazing painting that friend did for me, and her first response was âyouâd be able to sell that for some good money!!!â
Like. No????
For months Iâve discussed this creative trade with this friend, weâve talked about what the other wants, weâve gotten excited about it and traded progress pics as we work on it for each other, gotten stoked over making plans to get to the post office and seeing the other finally get it, and itâs just been a very wholesome and very fun project. It took six weeks for us to complete these projects, and now I have something on display in my room that makes me very happy, thatâs objectively beautiful, and that I know a friend put a lot of effort into making for me and was THRILLED when I adored it.
And my familyâs immediate line of thinking is âmake a few quid from it lolâ.
I canât imagine the headspace it must take to go through life like that.
#I mean same relative said something similar when I met Nikki Sixx#very long story short he was my idol growing up his music got me through a lot#got to meet him on MCâs âfinal tourâ in 2015#I was 18 I was so nervous but so thrilled#he was so insanely kind to my teenage self#listened intently when I explained how his music got me through a lot#and how I was setting out to become a writer even tho my fam disapproved#he encouraged me he gave me the pick he used to play that entire gig#he liked our pic together on IG and encouraged me and was INSANELY lovely on FB when I later posted a pic of my tattoo of his autograph#(and if u kno him u kno he gets prickly on social media to folk who deserve it so like)#just went completely above and beyond to encourage me and be so so SO kind#I excitedly tell this same relative about it all#Iâm on cloud 9 bc my idol encouraged me to chase my dreams#this same relative got angry at me because I didnât ask him for tickets to their final ever show in LA#like#this man just proved the saying of never meet your heroes entirely wrong#he repeatedly went out of his way to be kind to me#when all he really had to do was smile and pose for a photo and sign my shit#and she wanted me to then ask him to fly me out to a sold out gig for free#like he would have told me to fuck off and it wouldâve ruined the entire thing#bc itâs just such a glaring display of ungratefulness and Iâd never be weird enough to ask anyway#and she was LIVID with me insisting âyou donât get it you donât ask!!!!!â#and this was ten years ago and this exchange today just showed me nothing has changed#like how can you just cheapen the value of things like this to make a few quid or to go to a free concert#I couldnât live that way#and she consistently alienated people from her and can never work out why#itâs honestly just very sad
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