#be this talented and still spout all that garbage

[ohmerricat]

inescapable lana del reycist talk everywhere over the next few days im already dreading it

[the-sara-voe]

Chapter 5: The Bitter March

Masterlist

Luke coasts down the street, the dial tone blaring through the car's speakers. The tone barely skips one beep before Tusa answers.

“Scam calls not accepted”, she stated, as she tip-tapped away on her keyboard.

An arrogant grin spreads across Alvez’s face, as he asks, “I’m a scammer now”?

“Well, you didn’t answer my text about movie night. So yes, you are a scammer”.

“I’m sorry, Pen got a new kitten behind my back, and we are trying to get Roxie and Belle to get along”, he said, the grin still present in his speech.

“Oh”, Tusa said with surprise, a somber hint filling her voice. She bit her tongue to keep her thoughts at bay, saying “Well that’s alright. Is the cat cute”?

“Despite me not being a cat person, it is adorable”, Luke said, feeling her discomfort on the other end. “Hey, we can have a movie night another night okay”?

His voice is buttery to her, but his words slip past her ears. Just as quickly as he could raise her pulse, it would slow the minute he talked about Penelope. The woman didn’t have a face to her name, but she could summon the rains of the Amazon through Tusa’s eyes. 

They have never met, but Tusa has heard nothing but great things. How she is kind, witty, talented. Garcia even left a note for her. Everyone talks about Penelope Garcia like she is a legend, because she is one. 

Tusa hates being the one to fill Penelope’s shoes. It makes her skin prickle and her throat sour. She doesn’t want to, but she resents the woman. The unfortunate part is, it isn’t because of her reputation that Selemani disliked Penelope so much.

She perked up her voice, going an octave higher, before saying, “Yeah, yeah I know. I was just looking forward to it. But on the upside we avoided Sena rooting for Monty Python for the hundredth time”.

“That’s a good point”, he said before saying, “Hey while I got you, can you help me find-”

“Find the Church that belongs to those shirts? Bud who do you think I am? I already did it”.

Alvez chuckled as he listened to her. “Address is 7226 Grand Blvd, and it’s a Mormon Church. The t-shirts are for a program they have called Home Sweet Home, and proceeds help the homeless. The church makes a lot of money, and last I checked they ordered 6,000 t-shirts”.

“And they got to be storing those somewhere”.

“That’s what I thought”.

“Alright, thank you Chica I’ll talk to you later”.

“Bye”, she said, rushed, hearing him hang up. 

She sat, frozen from the conversation, before she threw her hands to the air. Her hands encompass her face, leaning back in her chair and releasing a groan. All the pressure behind her eyes had moved to her stomach. The aching in her gut festers with every thought of him. 

Slipping her palms down her cheeks to her lap, she says, “Luke Alvez, you are breaking my heart”.

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The black pavement glisten in the sun from the unforeseen water shower. Rossi's shoes kick up water drops; upchucked tequila and wasted food becoming more fragrant. The open corridor housed a soiled, kelp-colored dumpster, its neighbors being wrinkled heaps of plastic. Hidden from the opening of the alley, where the ground lay littered in cigarette butts and chewed gum, is the temporary resting place of Daniella Cortez.

"She was propped up against the dumpster", the detective remarked.

Rossi observes the corner. Although the untrained eye would be unable to tell, a small stain of rusty brown glued to the asphalt. Daniella's body had made its presence.

He crouches down, examining the stickers and graffiti that lingered on the brick and steel. The majority of them had faded around the edges and are stained from the decaying muck. "The alley seems fairly secluded in the daytime. How trafficked are the alleyways at night"? Rossi asked while the gears in his head turned.

"Everyone tends to stay away from the alleyways at night, but on Fridays and Saturdays some prostitutes sit here, waiting for guys to drive by. That's how she was found actually".

Rossi's eyes squint. There is one piece of paper, crumpled over itself, but not colored by the garbage mildew. "A prostitute found her"?

"Yeah, said she came back looking for her wallet and found the body instead. She said that the victim wasn't anyone she had seen before, but she saw the victim come out for a smoke".

"Did she see anyone that picked her up"?

"No. She said that she picked up the last guy of the night, and their alibis checked out. Daniella was alone out here".

As the detective continues to ramble, David's eyes fixate on the brick. He slips his hand into a latex glove, plucking the paper from the brick wall. His fingers swivel the folded square open, revealing a manufactured drawing. The thin, black lines branch from one another, to make a set of twig feet, wings, and a minuscule beak. But most startling, the image is clouded in a burgundy red.

"Detective, does this sticker seem familiar to you"? Rossi asked.

The detective hovered over Rossi's shoulder, looking at the image. "That's a sticker a bar nearby uses instead of stamping. Bar's called A Larkin'".

Rossi's face scrunched at the name. "Probably where she was before. Did you guys interview bar staff yet"?

"No, but it is just across the street, I'll take you over there".

Rossi thanks the detective, putting the sticker in a bag for evidence. He stares at the blood-stained lark. Gideon would have thought the lark symbolism was clever for the bar, despite the dumb name.

David halts his walking. Jason believed birds were like people, that they explain themselves through their behaviors. Jason studied their symbolism in various cultures and religions. Birds always had a significance for Gideon, so what was the significance of his letter being with a robin painting?

He pulls out his phone, dialing Tusa. "Selemani"?

Before he could hear her speak, the background rings with metal gently scraping plastic. She must be on her lunch break. Her voice thick and full, she spouts, "Present, sir. You guys get a good lead yet"?

"Not on my end, but would you do me a favor"? He asked, his words spilling like those of a child caught red-handed. "An old friend asked me to look at a case of his. I may have found a potential lead for him, but I need your expertise".

On the other end, Tusa ceases her fidgeting. David could feel her sincerity through the phone. It is something he appreciates about her. Although Penelope's presence is well missed at work, Tusa carries a similar warmth as Garcia. If someone she cared about truly needed something, she would get it for them.

Her voice takes a serious tone, "Alright sir, I'm all ears. What do you need me to do"?

"What is the symbolism of the robin"?

The rattling of the keys is followed by her saying, "Robins represent perseverance, fresh starts, good luck. Associated with spring, Robins tend to migrate during March. Any of this help"?

It was sheer luck that Rossi and Stephen discovered the letter. Stumbling upon that one book, out of all the books Gideon had, and turning to that page. Sheer luck learning about Harper. Does the robin pertain to her?

Rossi's face relaxes slightly, the corners of his mouth upturning. "Yes, that does help. Thank you, Tusa".

"You’re welcome, sir".

After hanging up, Rossi took a moment of pause. His hand found the picture of Harper before he had told it to. Staring at the baby picture, he said to it, quietly, "You're a March baby, aren't you Harper"?

[silverheartsystem]

Honestly just don't read this please it's garbage self-indulgent vent writing

You don't know why you keep doing this to yourself. Lightbulb goes to sleep and then all of a sudden all of your critical thinking skills go out the window. It's almost like you're just trying to impress her! Yeah, that's all you are. A fake. In every aspect you are just a liar. You fake being smart for attention, you fake every bit of affection just to feel loved, you even fake your own identity. Why? Why are you so pathetic? You know the truth, so stop lying to yourself. You're nothing. You'll always be nothing.

You start to cry. Every word you say to yourself only beats you further into the ground. It hurts. It hurts hearing these words. A part of you knows it is not true. That it's just one part of you spouting nonsense in an attempt to hurt you further. But it is drowned out by the sea of voices screaming every hurtful word it can at you. One person calls you a fake and suddenly every part of your identity collapses...you're supposed to be better than this.

Your crying only wakes up your sleeping girlfriend. It takes her a moment to understand the situation, but once she realizes you're crying, she's on it in an instant.

"Testy? Hey, Testy, what's wrong?"

You sniffle, trying to hold back your tears long enough to get the words out. But they don't budge. In fact, the tears only increase in intensity. You're full on sobbing now. You collapse into Lightbulb's arms. You feel so bad, you don't want to bother her. But you have no where else to go.

She holds you. Tight. She doesn't let go for a long time. She rubs your back gently as you sob into the night. Few actual words are spoken between the two of you. Mostly just cries of anguish, with the occasional "I've got you" from Lightbulb. What feels like hours, but in reality is mere minutes, go by. Your crying has died down, and you are starting to calm down yourself. But an ache still lingers in your mind, and in your stomache.

"I...I'm sorry." You manage to speak. Instantly, Lightbulb jumps to defend you.

"Oh, hun, it's okay! You don't have to be sorry." She wraps her arms around you even tighter than before. "I'm right here for ya Testy."

You hug her back, as tight as you can. Grasping for dear life. It feels like if you let go of her now you could very well fall out of the world, into the void created by your own fears and insecurities. And so you hold on as tight as you can to the brightest light in your life.

"You love me right? You love me for who I am, not for who I pretend to be?" You ask, voice wavering at every turn. You are so far down the guilt train of thought that the idea of being genuinely cared for just seems impossible.

"Huh..? What are you talking about, of course I do! Oh Testy, of course I love you. And I don't know what you are talking about 'pretending.' What I see in front of me is a beautiful, smart, talented, caring girl who always tries her best and is there for me! Testy, you're so important to me. I wouldn't trade you for anything! Not even like, a zillion crabs. I mean, think of all that value! You're worth more than a zillion crabs to me."

You couldn't help but giggle at that. Quiet and light, but still bubbly and uplifting. Lightbulb always has a way of making you feel better, even just by being...her. Just her being there is always enough to help you through the roughest times.

And...why would it be any different for you? Who you are is good enough. More than good enough, it's perfect! You are bringing hope into the world just by existing, and you aren't lying to anyone by choosing to be who you want to be. Your place in this world is valued.

"...thank you Lightbulb. I was just...so worried that who I was wasn't good enough. That, and thinking that who I was to begin with was a liar who was just trying to be something to make you happy. I was...worried you weren't seeing me. That I was just...a fake girl tricking you into loving me." You were starting to cry again; tears welling up in your eyes.

"Testy...you are always good enough for me! You've changed my life for the better in so many ways just by being there. You would never have to lie or pretend to be anything just to make me happy. Because what makes me happiest is you. And I know that the true you is just what I said earlier. A caring girl who is passionate about herself and the world around her. You bring hope wherever you go Testy. You gave me hope. I will always love you, no matter what." She gives you the warmest smile. That smile...you swear, that smile has saved you more than you could ever know.

You look at Lightbulb. You can tell she is worried, but her smile is real. She loves you. And you love her. You smile back. You still feel...messy. But that's just who you are. You aren't Test Tube without being a little bit of a mess. You reckon that you can live with that.

You pull Lightbulb in for a kiss. It's short and sweet, but healing.

"I love you too. And Bulby....

thank you."

[aquarius-chronicles]

Some Sleepy Thoughts on the Sea Prince

(by a person who read HS a long time ago, so if there are any mistakes, bear with me) - includes Pesterquest spoilers!

I believe that the biggest flaw that Eridan (as a character in a story) had in Homestuck was that he was there too briefly. He showed up riding Seahorsedad, had a few interactions, went on to murder and be murdered, and became irrelevant.

Of course, fandoms are a wonderful thing and filled in whatever was missing in the meantime, but his brief appearance meant that some things remained inconclusive. Some say he is an entitled, racist murderer, a metaphor for privilege and a running gag, while others claim he was a kid who clung to his “royal blood” as an only constant in his insecurity, as his solitude made him do desperate things which only worsened his relations with others, until Fef and Vriska ditched him and he was left completely alone and snapped. And maybe both of these interpretations are correct, and maybe neither is - a wonderful thing about HS characters is that a lot is left to your own interpretation and judgement, and that they’re rarely one-dimensional. I acknowledged both of the interpretations, but leaned towards the softer, latter one, if only because all trolls were 13-year-olds in a brutal society that endorsed murder. Still, I accepted as a given that he isn’t exactly good, that his classism is straight up awful, and that he will probably not be one of the more popular characters, at least because of his brief appearance.

Cue Pesterquest. It is obvious who the next pair of trolls will be, and I ready myself for a shitton of Feferi content (which is valid, she is precious) and a few Eridan posts here and there. I’m still happy because hey, it’s new Eridan content! But in a twist of fate, Eridan content blows up and absolutely overshadows Fef’s. I was baffled.

Now, Eridan’s route was... really loaded. It was truly something else, and if I had to comment on everything they put in there, we’d be here until tomorrow. But one thing that stuck out to me was what Sollux said - “second of all, this asswipe calls me at asscrack o’clock and either spouts some highblood superiority garbage he doesn’t even believe, or complains about his love life...”

It’s just... wow? I always thought that that part of Eridan was genuine, that he believed in what he was saying, and that it was meant to represent the entitlement of the rich who look down on others if their status isn’t as prominent, regardless of how powerful or talented they are (like Sollux is). I know that Pesterquest is dubiously canon, but I can’t help but at least consider the possibility that this single fact might be true nonetheless.

So for me, this was a game changer. This meant that Eridan is straight up desperate, not as a spoiled kid, but as someone who is absolutely overwhelmingly lonely, to the point where they would act like a total ass if that’s what it took for others to notice them. MSPAR’s remarks about how Eridan looks more uncomfortable with the phone call he initiates than Sollux only serves to further prove this point. He is socially inept and already screwed up his image, so what he does is keeps playing the “I’m awful and needy” card for others to notice him and that’s just so sad? I might be biased in my interpretation but I choose to believe that he would be less awful if he wasn’t so alone and convinced he’s a lost cause already. And if he was less awful, maybe others would have liked him better and he wouldn’t have ended up alone. I just feel bad for him.

* Note 1: I refer to Eridan with he/him pronouns because Sollux does too, so I think that those are the ones that Eridan uses. If I find out otherwise, I’ll change them.

[curiocrab]

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS

I have seen plenty of hot takes and crummy opinions about this situation and I wanna talk about it.

HOW THEY ARE NOW: WHAT IS THIS?

These are some new “hip” “hello-fellow-kids” teen superheroes by Marvel. ““Safespace”” (who i’ll call “Pink” for now) is a “big, burly, sort of stereotypical jock” as described by their official bio and can create force fields for anyone but himself. ““Snowflake”” (who i’ll call “Blue” for now) is non-binary and can create ice shuriken. From the bio, we know that their story will be them dealing with the social issues surrounding the non binary community.

This would be good IF that wasn’t the only characterization they had. Instead, Blue and Pink are described in their bio as being obnoxious social geniuses, “hyper aware of modern culture and optics”, and just for extra “rEliaBiLITy”, as quoted from their official bio, “They’re probably streaming this.” They feel like what older people think is cool with the kids, like a PSA mascot who punches drug addiction in the face and flies away with his catchphrase “Don’t do drugs, Fam!” or “Drugs are NOT LIT, ok boomer?”

Correct me if i’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure nobody would want the only major representatives of their community in an otherwise oppressive and excessively masculine field to be unlikable douche bags. Why can’t they just be normal, maybe even (heavens forbid) LIKABLE characters with real human emotions and experiences?

We don’t have much more than their bio’s to draw from but we do have a picture and you know what they say, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

THIS is OFFICIAL ART from the OFFICIAL WEBSITE!

WTH!?

Correct me if i’m wrong, but THIS looks like a weak, frail, surprisingly feminine non-binary person turning to their strong, confident, masculine partner for comfort and protection because they’re too weak to face their own problems. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the nature of safe spaces is not to patronize and baby people but to support and encourage.

This is ENTIRELY CONTRARY to the message Marvel is trying to put forth! If they’re trying to support and display the community as strong and worthy of recognition, THIS is not doing that AT ALL! What’s gonna happen is comic readers uneducated in this field will see this character, hate them because they’re unlikable, and see non-binary people as weak and in need of a masculine pillar of protection.

This is HORRIBLE representation.

I would like to propose what they COULD have done and maybe, still can be done to save these characters.

FIXING THEM: PHYSICALLY

I have seen many videos critiquing and bashing these characters and I found them to be … misguided (I won’t name names). People have expressed dissatisfaction with their powers and designs, comparing them to other marvel heroes.

This is unfair. these characters are just kids. they don’t have to have Hulk or even spider man level power. They are crime fighting teens, working the small time, not universe-devouring god-killers. I think these limited powers are cool and interesting. They necessitate creative and interesting combat and problem solving.

In action it could be like this, Blue is agile and mainly on offense, dealing tons of damage and applying pressure, hardly worrying about defense. This is because Pink runs alongside them, keeping up and fending for himself as he casts barriers for Blue when necessary based off their psychic synchronization.

Alternatively, Pink could be on the offense while Blue darts around, getting in the enemies way so that Pink could cast a barrier over Blue. It would effectively be an agile shield orbiting and protecting Pink who deals massive damage without much concern in regards to defense. Blue could keep up some pressure and add chip damage from behind the barrier with their shuriken.

Their design on the other hand, is honestly dumb

They’ve got soft, boring silhouettes that are far too similar. The skin tight clothes are classic marvel style but are super outdated and honestly the worst. The matching hair is dumb and stupid.

I have seen some alternate designs by other more talented artists. Unfortunately, some of them are horrible and betray the characters and their overall message.

It’s very well made and the artist is super talented, but it plays into the hyper sexual old Marvel comics and makes Blue ultra feminine, something i’m sure the original artist and writer where desperate not to do, instead making Blue into an amorphous lump.

I have made my own redesign that I hope is closer to the writer and artist’s vision.

I gave them stark contrast and distinguished silhouettes. I tried hard to give the two of them more personality. Hopefully, you can all agree that it’s better than the original.

That was pretty simple, but now, I’ve got to do something about their douchbagieness

FIXING THEM: CHARACTER-WISE

To begin, let’s get better names. I saw some awesome new names from SpyV on youtube in their video “Redesigning “Snowflake” and “Safespace” | Marvel’s New Warriors Blunder”. The names they used were “Hail” for “Snowflake” and “Haven” for “Safespace”.

Now for their story. I don’t want them to feel like hokey PSA mascots, spouting slogans to the youth like “Be nice” or “Don’t be homophobic”. I want them to be actual people and characters.

These two are students at highschool. (grade 11/12) Haven is a crowd pleasing jock, valued for his physical ability and his participation on the football team. Though not exceptional, his stature and teamwork skills make him an invaluable asset that everyone loves out of necessity more than anything else.

Hail is as witty, snappy, confident person who stands up for their immediate friend group and the LGBT+ community in their school. They are still subject to the social conflicts and abuse that arise due to being non-binary in the socially harsh highschool environment. Due to the constant micro-aggression, Hail has grown abrasive and unapproachable as a self defense mechanism. The only person they can be genuine with is their brother, Haven.

These two share a psychic bond that allows a deep level of emotional sympathy between the two. Hail vents to Haven and relies on his emotional support. Haven tries his best to help but Hail’s circumstance is so different from his own that he can’t do much more than listen and accept Hail for who they are. Haven provides a safe space where Hail can be genuine, recuperate, and process their emotions during the tumultuous time that is highschool.

Hail is supported by Haven’s acceptance rather than his confidence and masculinity. Haven never white-knights for Hail and tries to solves their problems for them but, rather, provides support, acceptance, and encouragement, allowing Hail to fight their own battles.

Maybe, later on in their arc -  hear me out here - Haven discovers that he is gay and is thus ostracized by his peers at school and their roles are reversed. Hail must be a supportive and encouraging figure for Haven as his world changes around him.

In regards to their super hero team, perhaps someone in the team could act as a foil to Hail, being maybe not so subtly anti-LGBT+.(*cough*cough-screentime-cough*cough*) Maybe Haven is gay for one of the other members (B negative maybe?) and the feeling arn’t mutual and it’s kinda awkward but that’s the whole point. Sometimes, a crush is just a crush and it’s not meant to be and that’s part of growing up.

In the end, they both graduate and realize that all the drama from their school days is gone. They realize how big the world is and move forward, forging a better world.

CONCLUSION

I really hope that those comics arn’t absolute garbage and the LGBT+ community can get some decent representation. Correct me for anything weird or inaccurate I said. Please don’t obliterate the writers or the artists. Thanks for reading.

[insfiringyou]

BTS - The Pharmacy (Suga x Jeong-sun)

Contains: Fluff. Smut. Angst. Oral sex. Vaginal sex. Warnings for mentions of a negative pregnancy test/pregnancy scare

[This fic is part of our headcanon universe and comprised of events between Suga and his girlfriend, Jeong-sun, over several months, starting from a few months into their relationship and ending around 8 months in (after the events of The Play but before Suga proposes in Stranded. ) Jeong-sun’s friend Yu-Jin, who is briefly mentioned here, is the character who is paired with J-Hope in 7 Minutes in Heaven.  

For new readers read about our headcanon universe, plot and original characters here]

To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin  /   Suga  /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook & Our full masterlist can be found here

Rated content below the cut

PART ONE

While Yoongi’s visits to the pharmacy were far from frequent, they were often enough to spark some gossip from Jeong-sun’s colleagues. She worked with three women and two men. The oldest of the latter was the owner and refrained from comment. It was mainly the two youngest of the women who were the sources of much of the talk. They had noticed the young male, sometimes sporting dark hair, other times bleached blonde, in the aisles on several occasions, sometimes browsing without purchasing, other times accompanied by a random selection of products he could just as easily purchase at the chain supermarket around the corner; toothpaste, dental floss, nail clippers. The youngest of the store assistants, two years fresh out of high school, wondered on his third or fourth visit whether he had a crush on her. She served him, running his items through the till one by one, a box of tissues, a packet of pain killers and a ten pack of batteries, and asked how his day had been. He seemed pleasant enough, replying to her questions easily but, after careful consideration, she came to the conclusion that he wasn’t single. He had a ‘taken’ vibe she couldn’t quite vocalise to her colleague.

Weekdays at the pharmacy were often long and dull, with the hours dragging on in the afternoon as the daylight shone in from the large double glazed windows by the door before they closed up at seven pm. Jeong-sun had been working there for a year and a half before she met Yoongi and was good at her job. She could serve customers quickly and without fuss, nodding her head sympathetically as they hold her about their array of ailments or their nosy neighbours or their failing marriages. She kept the children entertained with a series of soft finger puppets they kept behind the counter for this purpose when their parents brought them in with whooping cough or colic, often crying and distressed. She was able to administer the flu jab without much complaint, managing to subdue even those who were usually terrified of needles. All in all, she was an asset to the store and was therefore often called in to cover for other workers when they were sick and was also trusted to lock up the store at night, counting the cash from the tills and placing it in the night safe. The only skill she hadn’t managed to master in her time at the store was how to make the day go quicker when there were few customers. 

This day started out no different to any usual Tuesday. She came in for her shift at 8:30am and clocked in to the till beside Mi-cha, her oldest female colleague who had been working at the store for over twenty years. The morning passed without much excitement. She had collected several prescriptions for customers, recommended several different types of cough medicine to parents of children who were off school with a bad cold and advised one customer, who entered the shop bleeding heavily following a work related injury with a screwdriver to visit the A&E department of the local hospital. She even telephoned him a taxi from the old-fashioned dial phone which hung from the back wall behind the counter. 

Around 2pm her stomach began to grumble. She glanced at her co-worker who was pricing up sale items behind the prescription counter, lost in her work. Sighing, Jeong-sun turned back to the aisles of products and froze. She hadn’t noticed the small bell which hung over the front door tinkle, but then again she had been in the back room for the past five minutes, shelving a new delivery of products. Yoongi caught her eye from halfway down the central aisle which mainly stocked toiletries, before turning back to the shelf. He was wearing a casual pair of jeans and a black shirt, decorated with a subtle floral pattern. His hair was dyed bleach blonde, his dark roots showing through. She craned her neck to see what he was looking at, curious, but her attention was brought away as Mi-cha asked her a question about the price of fragrance sets and the bell above the door rang to signal a new customer entering the premises. When Jeong-sun turned back to the shop floor, Yoongi was walking towards the small counter, clutching a bottle of roll-on men’s deodorant. The customer who had just entered the pharmacy, a middle-aged man clutching a doctor’s note, got in line behind her boyfriend. 

Yoongi looked a little sheepish as he handed over the deodorant and took his leather wallet from the pocket of his blue jeans. Jeong-sun tried to keep a straight face as she scanned the product with her hand-held device and failed, smirking despite her surprise at seeing him there. 

“You know these are cheaper at the supermarket around the corner right?” She kept her voice low but sneaked a quick glance at her co-worker. 

“I went to your apartment.” He said, his voice equally quiet. “But saw you weren’t there.” He shrugged. 

“I work Tuesdays.” She muttered before speaking up. “That’s 5,000 won.” 

Yoongi handed over a 5,000 note without speaking and waited for the receipt. The man behind him stood patiently and Jeong-sun cast him a glance as she opened the cash register. 

“I’m due my lunch break.” She murmured in a low voice. “Can you wait fifteen minutes?” 

He nodded and met her eyes for a moment. 

“Do you need a bag?” 

He shook his head. “No, thanks.” Pocketing the deodorant and the receipt, he walked out of the store while Jeong-sun turned to the next customer. She had told him fifteen minutes, but managed to step out the store only five minutes later, having pointed out to Mi-cha that she was supposed to have had her lunch two hours earlier, but had stayed during the delivery of new medicines. Yoongi was waiting for her in the small car park beside the store, smoking a cigarette by a green garbage can. He quickly stubbed out the butt when he heard the tinkle of the bell and threw the end into the can, exhaling the last of the smoke as she walked over to him, clutching a brown leather handbag in one hand. 

“How long do you have for lunch?” He asked. 

“An hour. Do you want to come back to mine for a coffee? I didn’t realise you were back.” She glanced at the road before crossing the street. They walked side by side along the pavement. The afternoon was quiet, with barely any traffic. 

“Yes, thank you. And we just got back this afternoon, I didn’t know you were working.” They turned the corner and walked down a narrow side street. 

“How did you know where I worked?” She nodded back towards the main road they had just come down. She couldn’t remember telling him which branch of pharmacy she worked at. 

“I didn’t. That was just the closest pharmacy to your apartment.” He smirked. “I figured I needed deodorant anyway, I was over my liquid allowance at the airport and had to throw some away.”

Jeong-sun laughed at this as they turned down another quiet street, this one lined with large, overfilled garbage cans which spilled bags of litter into the street. They passed several stray cats. “Where did you go again?”

“China. Hong Kong. Taipei. A few other places.”

“All in a week?” She stopped in front of a narrow brick building and opened up the magnetic clasp of her handbag. She pulled out her set of keys and twisted them in the lock. 

Yoongi nodded as she opened the front door and followed her into a communal hallway. “I think I’ll sleep for two days straight when I get home.”

She closed the door behind them and led the way up a narrow set of stairs, towards her first floor apartment. “How come you didn’t go straight home?” 

He shrugged as they reached the landing. “I wanted to see you first.” 

Jeong-sun coudn’t help but smile as she unlocked the door to her one bedroom apartment. Her heart fluttered as she closed the door behind them and attached the safety chain, more out of habit than anything else. Living on her own in a dubious part of Seoul had its dangers, especially for a woman in her twenties. She turned to the small kitchenette which bordered one edge of the living room and felt a wave of relief when she remembered that she had cleaned it the evening before while half-watching an episode of Stranger Things on the living room T.V, glancing at the subtitles between disinfecting the counter tops and washing all the pots in the small sink. 

“I missed you.” Yoongi said as she pulled her old coffee machine forward on the counter and began to fill the spout with ground coffee beans. He reached forward and touched her hip.

“I missed you too.” Turning towards him, she pressed her lips to his and wrapped her arms around his shoulders loosely as he turned his head to intensify the kiss. He tasted of cigarettes and airport coffee but, still, her chest grew warm as their tongues met, feeling comfort in the firm touch of his large palms against her waist which pulled her closer and the soft caresses of his plump lips. She opened her mouth against his and moaned as his hand moved up her white shirt and skimmed the curve of her breast. Her uniform, issued by the pharmacy, was tight on her bust and her body strained with relief when she felt Yoongi’s hands against her chest, undoing the top set of buttons with quick, talented fingers. 

“I have to be back in forty five minutes.” She reminded him as she pulled away from his lips. Her white bra peeked out from the V shaped gap in her shirt and Yoongi, ignoring her last remark, moved his head forwards to kiss along her fleshy bust, running his lips along the lacy trim as his fingers traced the hard outline of her nipples through the cups. She couldn’t help but moan as he moved his mouth down and pressed a kiss against the hard nubs through the padding of the fabric. 

“Yoongi...” She gasped, part in warning, part responding to the pleasure he was giving her. 

“I really missed you Jeong-sun.” He repeated in a low purr, his lips against her breasts. She gulped, unable to argue with this as he sank to his knees slowly, his lips grazing her covered stomach and navy, calf length skirt as he bent. She gazed down at him as he stroked her thigh through her formal, A-line skirt, his gaze fixed straight ahead. Moving his palms lower, he reached the hem of her skirt.

Jeong-sun let out a breathy laugh, realising what he was doing. “We don’t have enough time...” 

He ignored her, pushing  her skirt above her knees before proceeding to tuck the sides into her waist band so the fabric pooled at her hips, giving him clear access to her panties. Pouting, he hooked his fingers around the plain fabric of her briefs and slid them down her thighs. She didn’t protest but rolled her eyes as he licked his lips and pulled the black piece of clothing over her knees and calves. Despite herself, she felt wet between her thighs as she was exposed to the air. 

She sighed. “You’d better be quick.” 

He looked up and met her gaze, his hands now resting on the fleshiest parts of her thighs.

“...No pressure...” She continued. He flashed her a toothy grin and she couldn’t help but laugh in reply as he nestled his blonde head between her thighs and ran his tongue along her wet slit, pushing against her folds to circle her swollen clitoris. She moaned loudly and grasped the kitchen counter for support as he encouraged her to part her legs further apart to allow him better access. His tongue was quick against her, flicking and pleasuring her nub as his mouth sucked and kissed it, his intent to make her orgasm as quickly as possible. 

“Jesus...fuck...” She cursed as he met her gaze, his brown eyes dark beneath a row of thick eyelashes. Her mouth lulled open at the sight of him on his knees, his mouth parted and pink tongue out, massaging her in soft, lulling motions. Maintaining eye contact, he withdrew his muscle momentarily and made a point of licking his lips before moving back to her wetness, moaning against her delicate skin. The spectacle was enough to push her over the edge. Her knuckles were white against the dark counter as her entire body shuddered with violent waves of pleasure. Yoongi grasped her thighs firmly, steadying her as she came against him, his tongue never relenting until he was sure she had experienced as much gratification as she was going to feel and her legs had stopped trembling. 

Jeong-sun glanced at her silver watch, her hands still firm against the counter tops. “We still have half an hour...” She said, her voice unsteady and breathy.

Yoongi moved away from her crotch, his lips wet and his own voice throaty. “If you make the coffee I’ll make you a sandwich.” 

She laughed in reply, feeling her stomach grumble. 

PART TWO

He was true to his word and walked her back to the pharmacy twenty minutes later. The next three times he visited her at the shop, over the coming months, she had been unable to get away to speak to him properly. She came to realise, after the fourth unsuccessful visit, that he wasn’t really expecting her to. He never tried to distract her or ask her to get out of her duties. He simply wished to catch a glimpse of her between his busy schedule, even if only for a few minutes. 

Her younger colleague pointed him out to her one day, around a month after his first visit. He had been staying at her apartment for the past two nights, so his visit was a surprise. Perhaps he was bored.

“He never buys the same thing twice...” The younger woman said quietly, pointing down the side aisle. His hair was dyed black once again.

“Really?” Jeong-sun asked, trying to sound interested. 

“Really. Weird right?” The girl shook her head cryptically before turning back to a stacked pile of out of date painkillers, ready to be sent back to the distributor to be destroyed. 

Later that evening, Jeong-sun joined Yoongi in her small living room, sitting beside him on the sofa. She had spent the past half an hour talking on her mobile phone in her bedroom. As soon as she re-joined him, Yoongi sensed that something was wrong. He leaned forward and placed his palm on her covered knee. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked gently. 

She nodded, slowly. “Yeah.” With a long sigh... “Yu-jin is moving to China on Friday. She got a job at the Beijing zoo...she starts next week.” 

Yoongi thought this through for a moment. He had only spoke to Jeong-sun’s friend once, on the day they had first met, but he knew that, unlike the other girls she was acquainted with, Yu-jin was someone she implicitly trusted and they had known each other since their time at the University of Seoul. Jeong-sun had taken Philosophy and Economics, Yu-jin had studied Environmental Horticulture and Zoology. 

“Does Hoseok know?” Yoongi asked. His bandmate had not said as much, but Yoongi knew that he had been growing increasingly close to Jeong-sun’s friend since they met several months before, on the day they had played seven minutes in heaven at a house party.

“She didn’t mention.” She leaned back on the sofa and Yoongi turned to look at her, watching her expression carefully. “She seemed excited. I’m really happy for her...” 

He knew that she was, but her voice told a different story. He reached out and took her hand in his. He wasn’t used to seeing her so sad and it hurt. His chest ached.

“I know...” He said, running his thumb over her knuckles carefully. “It’s okay to feel sad too.” 

She nodded, her eyes fixed on the old, threadbare carpet. “Yeah. I know that.” She attempted to smile at him but her lower lip trembled. “I almost forgot. I got you something from work.” There was a trace of humour in her voice, mixed in with the sadness. “Check the carrier bag over there.” She pointed weakly to a plastic bag hooked over the corner of a wooden chair by the small kitchen table. He stood up and walked over to the chair, opening the bag and pulling out its contents. Despite the sombre atmosphere in the room, he couldn’t help but smile. 

“Nicotine gum.” Jeong-sun explained, trying to keep a straight face. “For your dirty habit.” Her voice cracked and she grinned. 

They spent the rest of the evening watching a television series. The episodes were easy to watch and didn’t require a lot of attention to follow the plot. Halfway through the third episode, Jeong-sun moved down the sofa and pressed the side of her head against Yoongi’s chest. They snuggled down into the cushions and he held her close. Shortly before midnight, he reached for the remote control and turned off the T.V as she shifted position on the sofa, resting her head against the soft armrest. He made love to her slowly, kissing along her cheeks as he moved against her hips and kept quiet as his lips tasted salt on her skin. 

A week later they sat side by side on a public bench outside of the pharmacy. She had seen him walk past during her lunch break and called him over. She ate a tuna mayonnaise sandwich as he sat beside her, a rectangular shape in his breast pocket a telltale sign of what he had been purchasing. 

“Did you try the gum?” She asked, taking a bite of the seeded bread and nodding towards his shirt pocket. Her voice was laced with humour.

“It’s helping, I promise.” He smiled.

She raised her eyebrows, a smirk on her face. 

“I’ve cut down a lot. This is my first packet in three days.” He briefly touched the shape in his shirt. 

“Well you know where to get more Nicorette if you need it.” She took a gulp and swallowed the piece of bread. “We do a nasal spray too...”

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as she finished her sandwich and took a sip of the bottled water that had been part of the meal deal. 

“You said you finished university four years ago.” He said, breaking the silence. 

She nodded. “Yeah. Graduated in the top ten percent of my class if you’d believe that.”

“I’d believe it. And you started working here what...two years ago?”

“Near enough. Why?”

He shook his head slowly. “I was just wondering what you did before...between.” He took her hand in his.

She shrugged. “I was unemployed for a couple of months after graduating. I went to live back at home in Gwangju for a bit, with my mom and then my brother.”

“And then what?” He was genuinely curious and watched as she took another sip of water. 

“I moved back to Seoul. I shared an apartment with Yu-jin and she helped with the bills while I looked for a job. Then I worked as a home carer for a while...for people with disabilities or the elderly. Took them in their shopping, helped them clean, bathe...just normal things.” 

She was looking at the pavement, watching the sun gleam from the shiny bits in the tarmac. The city air smelt of cut grass, cigarette smoke and exhaust fumes from the nearby main road. Yoongi leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. His lips were soft and warm. 

PART THREE

She loved him so deeply and wholly she sometimes felt her heart would break with the pressure of it all. They had been together for eight months and nothing like this had ever happened to her before. The article on her phone from a women’s magazine, quickly glimpsed at during her morning break at work, shouldn’t have caused her much alarm but it did. She felt her heart thud in her chest as she counted on both hands, muttering quietly under her breath. 

Mi-cha said nothing as she scanned the item through the till and applied the staff discount, but Jeong-sun could feel her gaze from across the counter. It was a good thing that her younger colleagues were absent from work that day. The older woman placed the box in a plastic bag and handed it to her. 

“If you’re not in tomorrow I’ll tell the boss you have a stomach bug.” Mi-cha said, not unkindly. Jeong-sun quickly thanked her, refusing to meet her eye as she quickly exited the pharmacy and headed home. 

Yoongi showed up at her apartment an hour later, unexpectedly. He had brought them both pre-packaged sushi from the convenience store. His face dropped as she opened the door and allowed him to slip past her. Her eyes were red and swollen. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, placing the small plastic plates on the kitchen counter. 

“Yeah, fine.” She glanced at the sushi. “You’d better put that in the fridge. I had a late lunch at work.”

He complied silently, placing the trays on the top shelf of her almost-empty fridge, beside a tub of margarine and a sealed bag of red grapes. Jeong-sun returned to the small living area and sat down on the small sofa, waiting for Yoongi to join her. He slipped his arm around her back easily as he nestled against her and pressed his lips to her head. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

She nodded and he cuddled her as they spoke about her day at work and his upcoming performance on an American television show. After a while, he excused himself to use the bathroom and slipped into the small hallway which attached the living room to the single bedroom. The bathroom was halfway down the hall, by a closet. He closed the door behind him but didn’t bother with the lock. As he stood by the porcelain sink, washing his hands, he found his gaze dropping to the small garbage can by the toilet. Something on top had caught his eye and he bent down, examining it closer. His heart suddenly began to race in his chest as he recognised what it was and knew why it had caught his attention. He picked up the long, slim object carefully, as though it might break and frowned as he tried to make sense of the pink lines on the front of the plastic. He had seen pregnancy tests enough times on television to understand for certain that was what he was holding, but what the pink lines meant, he was no wiser. He bent back down and looked through the garbage can, trying to keep calm as he sifted through cardboard toilet paper tubes and empty shampoo bottles, searching for a set of instructions which would explain what he was seeing. 

Finding nothing, he straightened up and turned to the mirrored cupboard above the sink. He opened the door and found what he was looking for immediately. The test had been part of a pack of two and Jeong-sun had clearly not used the second test. The cardboard box rattled with the spare as he picked it up and read the back, his vision blurring a little and his hands shaking with nerves. He read the instructions and double checked them, making sure he had understood. 

There was a quiet knock at the bathroom door and Yoongi froze. He realised that he must have been gone for a while and, if Jeong-sun had taken the test shortly before he arrived this evening as he now suspected by the red rings around her tired looking eyes, she must have realised what he had found. 

The door opened slowly and Jeong-sun entered the small room, her eyes flickering from Yoongi’s pale face to the plastic object in his hand. He clutched the box with the other. She registered the sight for a moment, accepting that she had been found out, before she gazed at the open cupboard above the sink. 

“I see you found where I keep the Gaviscon.” She said drily, walking past him slowly and closing the mirrored door shut. Yoongi watched her and placed the test carefully on the edge of the sink before turning to her.

“You took a test?” His voice was calm, questioning. 

She nodded. “I missed a period.”

“It’s negative?” He already knew the answer but needed her confirmation. Hearing it coming from her would make the situation feel more real. His heart rate was still increased, his stomach feeling a little fluttery with nerves. 

She nodded her head again. “False alarm.” He could tell that she was relieved but her voice trembled a little nonetheless. “I’m sure I’ll come on in a day or two.” 

There was a moment of silence as Yoongi tried to take this all in. Eventually, he sighed. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.” She reached out her hand across the space and took his in hers. “Are you?” 

He nodded. She could feel his pulse underneath the pads of her fingers; vibrating through the veins in his bony hand. “Yes.” His voice was low. “It was just a bit of a shock.” 

She let out a small, breathy laugh. “Tell me about it.” She smiled but there was no humour in her voice. “It’s a good thing I work in a pharmacy. Staff discount...” Suddenly, she let out a sob and moved her hand to her mouth. Her eyes filled with tears as she cried, clutching her face with her palm. Yoongi dropped the cardboard box in the sink and closed the distance between them, pulling her into him with both hands and pressing his lips to her forehead. 

“Do you want me to get the snip?” He quipped, placing his chin on top of her head as he pulled her closer. She laughed against his chest, her tears staining his t-shirt, dampening his skin as her body shook against him. 

“No.” She sighed, her voice vibrating against his collar bone. He held her still for a few moments, allowing her to cry out her tears. He knew she was crying with relief, which should have made it easier to hear, but he felt his heart sink with each sob. She had been scared out of her wits only an hour or so ago, and he wished he could have been there with her when she had taken the test. 

“Shall I make tea?” He asked after a while, his lips pressed against her black hair. 

She laughed, pulling away slightly to look up at him. Her eyes were wet and red. “You hate tea,” 

“It’s not for me.”

She nodded with a small smile and allowed him to lead them both back into the living room. She drank her tea and laughed as Yoongi took a sip of his own cup with a grimace. A fresh set of tears fell from her eyes and he pulled her against his side, settling down against the cushions. They fell asleep some time later, their arms wrapped tightly around one another. He woke an hour later and gently nudged her. 

“Let’s go to bed.” He whispered as she opened her sore eyes and sat up. “You’ll get all stiff if you stay here.” He led her through the hallway by the hand and they settled down to sleep, him spooning her closely to his body as she began to snore gently. 

***

Thank you so much for reading. Please leave a like if you enjoyed and consider subscribing/following us.  To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook

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[forlornmelody]

OC Interview Meme

Thanks for the tag, @alyssalenko

Last time, Artemis Shepard sat down to answer these questions. I think this time we’ll switch things up and have my Asari OC, Dreya T’Vasi sit in the hot seat.

The rules: Answer the following questions as your OC of choice.

1. What’s your name?

Dreya T’Vasi.

2. Do you know why you are called that?

My father said it sounded like slow moving river.

3. Are you single or taken?

Taken.

4. Have any abilities or powers?

You mean my biotics? They’re nothing special around here but I suppose they’re exotic to non Asari.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue.

Is that a human thing?

6. What’s your eye color?

Violet

7. How about your hair color?

I don’t really have hair? My crests have gold tattoos, though.

8. Have any family members?

I have one mother and one father. Yes. They are both Asari. And if you start spouting garbage about Asari purebloods, I swear by Athame’s tits, I will....

9. Oh? How about any pets?

I have a school of Thessian sunfish, and a...well, the name doesn’t translate well but I have a bird called an eliodia. They are sacred to Athame. Also extremely noisy and notorious thieves.

10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.

The very important dinners and charity functions my parents drag me to. Boooring.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

I like painting, drawing, dancing, swimming, and being outside. Anything that involves doing.

12. Have you hurt anyone in any way before?

Not intentionally, well okay. But she had it coming. And we were 35.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?

Goddess, no.

14. What kind of animal are you?

I’ve been called a squid by the human children of diplomats, but if I’m like any animal--it’s the delfinae. They’re...hard to describe. But they fly? Er, float. Biotically. But their main home is in the water.

15. Name your worst habits?

Well. I’m pretty disorganized. I just don’t see the point, when there are so

many

things I’d rather be doing than tidying up, you know?

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?

Naria L’ioni. She an activist matriarch 300 years ago. Sold everything she owned and lived in front of the embassy on Asteria (which was pretty much a farm house in an agrarian colony, but that’s besides the point) to bring awareness to the Morning War on Rannoch. Basically a badass.

17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?

Gender isn’t as big of a deal where I’m from, so to be honest sexual orientation labels kind of baffle me. I don’t think I really have a preference? At least not physically. If you’re a an asshole or an idiot we’re probably not compatible.

18. Do you go to school?

I’m in advanced biotic training. I love it. My parents want me out of the house and out dancing or commandoing but, meh. I just love biotics for the sake of biotics, you know?

19. Ever want to marry and have any kids one day?

Maybe? I kind of feel like I have other things on my mind right now.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?

I’ve caught a few people staring at me in class so. 🤷‍♀️

21. What are you most afraid of?

Living a life devoid of meaning.

22. What do you usually wear?

Trousers and blouses, jumpsuits, draping, free flowing garments that aren’t dresses or robes.

23. What one food tempts you?

The word doesn’t quite translate, but it’s very similar to Greek giouvetsi. Except all the ingredients are different..but the taste and texture are very much the same?

24. Am I annoying you?

You are asking a lot of questions. Why so curious?

25. Well, it’s still not over!

At least tell me I get to draw you later.

26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?

High. My parents are rather influential. But I long for a classless society.

27. How many friends do you have?

I have several acquaintances, but not too many friends. It’s difficult to know if people like me for me or if they want to get within my mother and father’s circle.

28. What are your thoughts on pie?

Pie? What is pie?

29. Favourite drink?

Honey mead.

30. What’s your favorite place?

I love the forests and mountains on Nevos. Perfect escape from my parents’ business meetings.

31. Are you interested in anyone?

Most definitely.

32. That was a stupid question…

Mmhm.

33. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

Ocean!

34. What’s your type?

Capable, talented people. People who don’t give up.

35. Any fetishes?

*cough* Would it be unfair to say....alternative uses of biotics.

36. Camping indoors or outdoors?

Why would anyone camp indoors??

Tagging: @illusivesoul, and @bronzeagelove​. If you want to. <3

[artificialqueens]

cirque d'amour - chapter ten (trixya) - cal

A/N - i actually posted this to ao3 ages ago and forgot to submit here - sorry!

i realised i never named latrice’s club - here it is; the oscars. named after a gay bar in my city and appropriate ‘cause latrice is a musical man.

i thought y'all deserved a bit of floofy goodness after all the drama…rest assured, there is more to come of both.

“So you and Willam definitely aren’t a thing anymore?”

Trixie was sat atop Courtney’s marble kitchen counter in her silky nightgown, her legs swinging absentmindedly at she picked at her cereal. She shook her head miserably.

“You need to eat.” Courtney remarked, eyeballing her bowl.

“Why do all of you act like my friggin’ mother?” Trixie croaked, rubbing her eye with a balled fist. “First Willam, now you…”

“You need mothering, Mattel,” Courtney deadpanned, her eyebrows arched. “Try telling me you don’t.”

Trixie mimicked Courtney’s words childishly; Courtney responded by throwing a balled-up sock in her direction, which narrowly skimmed Trixie’s ear.

“Well, you’ve been moping all week. It’s high time you get out of this apartment.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Well, you never will be if you wallow.”

“I’m not wallowing.”

Courtney shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she said, flashing her brightest smile. “Then you’ll miss the Cirque’s party that Alaska is throwing tonight…”

Trixie glared at Courtney, her stubbornness refusing to release her from its deadly grip. “’Guess I will.”

Trixie crawled back into bed when Courtney had left the apartment. She hadn’t drawn the curtains for so long that she had almost forgotten what her room looked like in the light of day.

She had been moping; she knew that was the truth. It had been a week since the fateful conversation with Willam and she was feeling broken in ways she never thought was possible. She was being eaten alive by a primary emotion; guilt. She didn’t deserve to go to the Cirque’s party. She didn’t deserve to have any sort of enjoyment. So her plan was to remain in bed until the inevitability of death by misery.

The guilt spilled out into her other thoughts; she was also feeling irate and saddened by the fact she had not heard anything from Katya. She hadn’t told her about what had happened with Willam – she figured that was a conversation they ought to have in person – but she had sent a couple of texts that she had simply ignored.

Trixie sighed, clicking open a playlist on her Spotify that she had in reserve for situations such as these – not that she was being dramatic. Trixie Mattel was never dramatic.

*

Trixie woke hours later with a fright – something had jolted her bed, and she bolted upright, afraid of an earthquake.

“Wha-ha-happen?” she stammered, her half-asleep eyes darting wildly around the room until they landed on a broadly grinning Courtney who was crouched on her bed.

Trixie’s brow furrowed as the thralls of sleep released her and reality dawned. “You cunt, you scared me.”

Courtney was bouncing lightly against the mattress, causing her beautiful blonde curls to dance. Trixie couldn’t help but crack a slight smile at that.

“Jesus, I’m surprised your face didn’t break,” Courtney grinned, playfully cuffing Trixie’s jaw with her fist. “Come on – you’re getting up. We’re going out.”

Trixie groaned, rolling her eyes to the back of her head and throwing herself back down onto her bed. “Courtney, why? Why can’t you just leave me to die in peace?”

***

Alaska – or Justin, as he was out of drag – eyeballed the map of the United States that was splayed across the tiny table in Latrice’s empty bar. His over-plumped lips were smacking every few seconds as he carefully placed a pin at each destination.

Katya was sat opposite him with Violet, compiling a playlist for their final L.A show; their determination to make it the best show yet never dampened for a moment.

“What’s that, like, dramatic violin piece?” Violet hummed, forever vague and somewhat unhelpful, Katya couldn’t help but think. “It would be dope as hell for Milk’s performance.”

“Oh, okay, sure,” Katya barked a laugh, pretending to type “dramatic violin piece” into Spotify. “I totally know which one you mean.”

Violet pushed Katya’s shoulder playfully. “Shut up. You’ll know the one. From the British version of 'Got Talent’.”

“I can’t believe you watch that garbage,” Katya scoffed in response.

“Simon does things to me,” Violet giggled with an exaggerated shudder. “It was those women with the electric violins.”

“Oh, bitch,” Katya beamed, scribbling the name (Palladio) on a piece of lined paper that was so disorganised that it could only ever make sense to her. “You’re so right.”

“Aren’t I always?” Violet batted her eyelashes at her.

Roy was hovering nearby – he was giving an air of disinterested boredom, but Katya knew better. He was just as excited as the rest of them about the impending tour.

“Was the witch box really necessary, miss thing?”

Katya grinned broadly at her friend. “Ab-sol-ute-ly.”

Latrice, in his wild excitement for the closing show, had allowed a portion of their budget to be blown on some party-style amenities for the night. Each of the Cirque had been granted permission to pick something to buy, and Katya couldn’t resist the eerie rubber man trapped in a box who “read your fortune”, or rather, spouted out random tarot cards.

Katya cast a loving eye over it now, sat in the middle of the empty room. The box was painted purple with gold lettering and patterns emblazoned all over, and the man himself looked like a British villain from a Bond movie; complete with a top-hat.

Roy gestured for Katya to join him, away from Violet’s prying eyes. Katya skipped towards him with over-enthused joy - she really was happy today, being here, in her home, surrounded by her family.

“I wanted to give you a heads up,” Roy hissed, his head dipped close to Katya’s. “Courtney text me and she’s bringing Trixie tonight.”

Katya’s heart skipped a beat. Trixie. Trixie was coming. Trixie, whom she had been avoiding. Trixie, who only last week she had realised she was desperately in love with. “Um.”

“Have you still not spoken to her?”

Katya suddenly felt hot all over - her hands were beginning to clam up, despite the coolness of the building. “Um.”

“You’re so freakin' dumb.”

Katya’s chest almost broke from the sigh that escaped her lips. “I know. I just…didn’t know what to do, Roy. I’m super dumb. I - just. I don’t know.”

Roy’s eyes softened at the edges ever so slightly - something so discreet, that only those who truly knew Roy could ever notice such a thing. “Miss thing, please will you communicate with the girl tonight? Take it from an old bitch who knows: lay out your stupid heart and get a final answer. We’re all sick of the drama.”

Katya gave Roy a shaky smile, knowing that this was his unique way of giving advice and supporting her. She reached out to grasp his hand in her own. “You got it, Bee.”

Roy shook the contact away with disgust. “Don’t touch me.”

*

The Oscars looked beautiful by the time the decorating was done.

There were lights strung across every wall, creating a hazy white beam across the empty dance-floor. There was a giant banner strewed across the largest wall, painted messily with rainbows, fire, and other circus figures – and the giant, bold words “TOUTES NOS FÉLICITATIONS CIRQUE!”

Violet was admiring her handiwork, the tell-tale signs of paint still flecking her impossibly long nails. “I’m an artist.”

Katya followed her gaze with a chuckle of agreement. They weren’t long from beginning their celebrations, and Katya couldn’t help but be somewhat strategic about her choice of outfit – she was wearing a black sequin body suit with dark tights, and large, shiny black boots. Her hair was a wild tangle of blonde waves and she spent longer than was necessary perfecting her smoky eyes. If this was the day she was to make or break whatever her relationship was with Trixie, she at least wanted to look good doing it.

Violet glared at her with a side-eye. “Who are you trying to impress?”

Katya merely shrugged, her smile betraying nothing.

Alaska entered the building in a puff of what could only be described as whore’s bath – her scent was hugely intoxicating and Katya forget for a single moment that she was a man in a wig.

She had a strange bird’s nest-style wig resting on her head, and her dress looked like it might have been made out of garbage bags. From what Katya had seen of Justin, she believed that it could truly be made of garbage bags, despite the thousands of dollars in his bank account. His face was sculpted into feminine perfection and despite herself, Katya stared.

“Full drag for a private party?” Violet scoffed, her eyes huge in her petite little face. “That’s a bit extra. Don’t let Roy see.”

Alaska shuffled with bent wrists towards the pair of them, and she laughed softly as she noted the dropping of Katya’s jaw. “Sorry, I’m not into the puss.”

“Dang,” Katya swung her fist, amused at herself.

“’Lasky!” Latrice bellowed from the empty bar, lining up a bottle of everything he could get his huge paws on. “You look fabulous.”

Alaska wiggled her shoulders at him with a raised upper lip. “Oh, stop.”

“The rest of the crew should be here any minute,” Latrice announced, carefully balancing a tower of plastic cups on the side of the bar. “Vi, can you set up the music?”

Violet nodded, her eyebrows still raised at Alaska as she glided off towards the stage.

“So, you’re a lesbian,” Alaska grinned, grasping Katya’s bicep and giving it a teasing squeeze. Katya was somewhat surprised at the interaction they were having – out of drag, Justin was all business.

“It’s that obvious?” she asked with a laugh.

The front door of the club swung open quite suddenly, interrupting the banter between Katya and Alaska. Katya’s eyes were instantly drawn to the striking pair whose heals clacked against the wooden floor as they came closer.

Trixie and Courtney were really quite a beautiful duo – Courtney was in a dazzling pink dress that clung to her body perfectly, her hair twisted up and sitting on top of her head. Trixie wore a floral dress of interlacing purple, white, and gold flowers. The front of her hair was pulled back behind her head; the rest was flowing down the sides of her face, slightly kinked at the ends. She had a crown of huge white flowers sitting on the crest of her head, and a ring through the middle of her septum. Since when did she get that done?

Katya felt her breath catch - Trixie was otherworldly.

Katya’s gaze was faraway and she was sure that everyone in the vicinity could hear the rapid thumping of her heart.

Alaska chuckled beside her, missing nothing. “It’s that obvious.”

*

It didn’t take long for the party to begin once all the guests had arrived – it was mostly the Cirque and their extended family, but there were also some friends of Latrice’s, and even a couple of loyal Cirque fans who had supported them from the humble beginning.

The air was light and full of good feeling. Milk and Courtney were a tangle of limbs, as they so often were now, sinking into a single bean-bag, each with a glass of champagne and their heads thrown back in fits of laughter. Latrice was acting as a bar-host, cheerfully filling every waiting glass. Kennedy and Roy were milling around the little group of fans, their grins broad against their lips; and Violet was attempting to teach a tipsy friend of Latrice how to suspend themselves on an aerial hoop.

Katya had been spending time with Jay and Raja – her Cirque tour planning had overcome her life this last week, and she felt a twinge of guilt at how angry she’d been with the pair of them the night Trixie had indulged in their cocaine.

After a while, she spied Trixie leaning against the bar; alone. Katya had shared a few heated glances with her, and even the beginnings of a smile on Trixie’s lips, but she hadn’t yet had the opportunity to speak to her alone.

“I’ll be back,” she hissed in Raja’s direction, who smirked knowingly and nodded.

Katya could feel her pulse quicken as she swept towards Trixie, whose elbows were leaning against the bar with her body dipped forward; damn, her ass looked good. Katya shook the thought from her head, squinting her eyes so that her vision was blurred.

“Hey,” she said, mirroring Trixie’s stance. Trixie glanced up with barely veiled bewilderment.

My god, she looked beautiful. The flower crown made her seem precious and fae - much like how Katya had first perceived her, in the hot crowd that fateful night - and her make up was softer than it usually was. Katya couldn’t help but gaze at her mouth as it parted with surprise.

“Oh, you’re talking to me now?” Trixie quipped, though her eyes were smiling.

“I guess so,” Katya shrugged, noticing the cup clenched in her hand. “Drinking?”

Trixie shook her head. “Not tonight.”

“Really?”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised,” Trixie scoffed, taking a delicate sip of her non-alcohol.

Katya wheezed, throwing her hands up dramatically. Trixie glared at her for a moment, before her eyes widened at something beyond what Katya could see.

“Is that —” she pushed herself off the bar. “A ball pool?”

Katya grinned as she turned to follow Trixie’s gaze. “Yep - that’s Jay’s contribution to the party.”

“Oh, bitch,” Trixie bounced from foot to foot, her excitement child-like. She grasped Katya’s hand in her’s and dragged her towards the corner of the club.

The ball pool was exactly that - a blow-up box, filled with hundreds of brightly coloured plastic balls. Fairy lights were hanging above it, casting a mythical glow on the untouched sea of colour. Katya hovered by the side of it, expecting Trixie to dive in; but she felt a sudden shove against her back and she went tumbling into the pit face-first.

“Bitch!” Katya choked, batting the balls away from her face. Trixie launched herself into the pit beside her, squealing with delight.

“That’s for ignoring me,” she said breathlessly, her eyes bright and dancing with mischievous glee.

Katya responded by throwing a red ball at Trixie’s arm - which missed its target and bounced back into the pit.

Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Are you that old that you can’t even aim a ball anymore?”

“Bitch,” Katya exclaimed a second time, tugging Trixie’s arm to bring her down into the sea of baubles. Trixie screamed, laughter creasing her eyes.

Katya threw a leg over the rise of Trixie’s hips and straddled her, her hands pinning Trixie’s own above her head. “Am I old, Tracy?”

Trixie’s laughter was merely a shuddering breath now; tears of amusement cutting tracks into her make up. “Oh my god.”

Katya could feel the shudders of her laughter beneath her legs, and she smiled triumphantly as she released Trixie’s wrists from her grip.

Trixie’s laughter eventually subsided, and Katya rolled off her, to lie beside her against the satisfying clacking noise the balls made when they bumped together.

“So…”

Trixie was leaning on her side now, the palm of her hand cupping her chin.

“Are you gonna tell me why you were avoiding me?”

Katya’s muscles seized for a moment. “Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“Honestly,” Katya breathed, fiddling with the balls collected at her feet. “I was upset by you leaving to go and see Willam.”

“I broke up with Willam.”

Katya’s eyes widened - she was not expecting that. “Y-you…”

“Right?”

Katya’s head began to spin with endless questions. “Come outside,” she urged, hooking her arm through Trixie’s and guiding her out of the ball pit, and away from the din of the party.

They exited through the side door by the bar; the night was young, and the sky was still light with the promise of the impending sunset. Katya parked Trixie at one of the outdoor tables, flicking a cigarette from the stash in her bra with impressive quickness. She remained standing and sparked up her lighter, fiddling with it for a moment before the fire ignited.

“I feel like I need a cigarette for this conversation,” Katya mumbled, her lips distorted by the filter.

“Bitch,” Trixie folded her arms, her eyebrows raised. “Even I need a cigarette for this conversation.”

Katya laughed nervously, taking a deep drag of poison into her lungs. The relief was almost instant as she let the coils of smoke exit her lips in a distorted cloud. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Trixie fidgeted on the bench, shuffling herself around like an impatient child. “I mean, uh. I told her that…she…that she deserved better. You know?”

Katya nodded, her eyes greeting Trixie’s for a moment - knowing there was more to it than that.

“She …asked me about you.”

Katya forgot about her cigarette - it was lingering between her middle and index fingers as her arms lay at her sides, and the embers were dangerously close to her skin. Her gaze was soft as she looked upon Trixie’s face, noting the way her nerves were painfully obvious in the way she held herself.

“I…” Trixie exhaled a breath, staring into Katya’s eyes. “I have feelings for you.”

Kaya’s mouth gaped; a flush of dizziness threatening to bring her to her knees. Her pulse was racing impossibly fast and she prayed for a moment to the universe to slow it down. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Trixie replied, and Katya realised that her eyes were glistening with unshod tears.

“Hey,” Katya whispered, offering Trixie her hand. Trixie took it into her own gratefully, rising from the bench with a soft cry.

Katya enveloped Trixie into her warmest embrace, feeling her body shake with gentle sobs. Katya’s body was alight with love; feeling Trixie’s pressing against her own, but she quelled her own impossibly huge feelings to take care of Trixie’s in the moment.

“Trix, it’s okay. You can’t help feelings - they just are.”

Katya could feel Trixie nod against her. “I - I know. I just - I feel so guilty. On you, on Willam. On everyone.”

“That’s because you’re a good person,” Katya stated, moving out of the hug to look into Trixie’s eyes. “And I’m sure you know that - that I have feelings, too.”

Trixie gazed back at Katya with the beginnings of a watery smile playing on her lips.

“But - there’s no pressure for anything to happen,” Katya insisted, her hands on Trixie’s wrists. She gave them a light squeeze. “You’re my friend, first. Take all the time you need.”

“Katya,” Trixie whispered, her eyes softened and her lips parted just ever-so-slightly. Katya smiled, wiping the lingering tears from beneath Trixie’s eyes. She hovered her touch over Trixie’s nose for a moment. “When did this happen?”

“Oh, it’s not real,” Trixie laughed softly, poking at the ring through her septum. “I’m trying something new. Isn’t that what kids do nowadays when they go through a break up?”

Katya chuckled. “It’s cute - you should get it done.”

I am the great Zuccini, and I will reveal the card of your future!

Recognition dawned on Katya as she heard the bellowing voice, and her eyes grew wide with glee. “Oh, Trix, you gotta do this!”

“What the fuck was that?” Trixie gasped, her tone returning to some sense of normality and allowing Katya to lead her by the hand back into the soft din of the club. “And isn’t Zuccini a friggin' vegetable?”

Katya laughed heartily, dragging the beautiful Trixie towards the colourful box that was propped against the wall by the door. She beamed at her, gesturing for Trixie to approach the mystical man in the box.

“Katya,” Trixie scoffed, her gaze critical as it swept the great Zuccini. “Why?”

“Do it.”

“Okay, jeez.”

Trixie fed the machine a couple of quarters, and watched with barely disguised scepticism as the box lit up before her. Katya watched her face as the dancing lights cast shadows on the rise of her cheeks and the dimple of her chin - she was truly beautiful. And she liked her. Katya’s mind was still churning with disbelief and wonder.

The box shuddered and choked - Katya wondered for a moment if it was going to give up and die - but then, the box shot out a single card from the slot.

It landed face down against the dusty floorboards, and Trixie bent to pick it up.

“The lovers.”

She gazed at Katya with a raised eyebrow, the roses of her cheeks turning red.

Katya felt a burn under her skin as she blushed right back.

[fantasyelffanfic]

Star Wars: Thief in the Darkness - Chapter 7 - Kylo Ren/OC Fanfic

Chapter 7

-o-o-o-

"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways" - Buddha

-o-o-o-

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. Maybe hours, maybe days, but to me it felt like years. The attack on the Starkiller by the resistance had been a success. During the collapse of the base General Hux had arrived with his troopers to my cell. They'd dragged me from my sanctuary and transferred me to another ship; one belonging to the Supreme Leader Snoke. I'd gone without a struggle, knowing that I had only two options. Go with them or stay on an exploding planet to die – it wasn't a tough decision to make. Since the news of Rey and the others escaping, I found myself struggling to find hope. I was completely at the First Order's mercy. I had to find a way to get out of this mess, alone. Worry and loneliness seemed to be my only companions lately. I had no idea what was going to happen or what I was going to do. It took as much comfort as I could in knowing that Rey had managed to evade recapture.

I tried to see the positive side of things. Now, I could focus on myself, there was no one else to think about or consider. I had to stay strong and I had to be resilient, but it was getting hard. I felt tired, drained from the lack of sleep. I was hungry, barely eating enough to sustain my body's needs. Each hour that I stayed here the more restless I became. Lack of freedom was driving me mad. I wanted to feel the wind against my skin. I wanted to see land or sky, instead of the endless plain walls around me. Hell, even Jakku would have been preferable to this...

The sound of the doors sliding open broke me from my thoughts and I rolled my eyes. I didn't need to look up to know who my visitor was. I was starting to become accustomed to the sound of his boots thudding as he walked around.

I sighed wearily and remained sat crossed legged within the center of my cell.

Here we go again...

Emptiness filled the area, heavy and oppressive. I refused to acknowledge his presence. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"Why so silent?" General Hux's voice grated across my senses, like fingernails across a chalkboard.

My jaw tightened, but I didn't open my eyes. My expression never changed and I remained in a peaceful meditative state. " I have nothing to say to you," I responded, with a calmness that surprised even me.

"Oh, but I have plenty to say to you." He drew closer, the fabric of his uniform swaying, filling the room with noise. "Why do you still persist in clinging to your futile hopes?"

I knew what was coming. I waited, trying to bite back the verbal ass-kicking hovering at the edge of my tongue for him.

"Join us."

There it was. The same old rubbish, the same old bullshit that he spouted whenever he came to see me. Each time he asked me the same thing, and each time I told him where he could shove it. He never listened. He kept coming back, trying to push his way into the fortress of my resolve.

As much as it was annoying, I couldn't help but chuckle at him. What an idiot.

"Talent and skill such as yours should not be wasted. I'm sure that we could-"

"No thanks." I snapped sharply, cutting him off mid-sentence.

I heard rather than saw the barrier being lowered. Its heavy power dimmed and then drained away, allowing him entrance into my sanctuary. He neared, prowling around me slowly.

He tsked gently like one would to a naughty child. "Come. What are you fighting for exactly?" His voice drifted around me, surrounded me with its mockery. "Your so-called friends have left you. After all your energy and attempts to help them, they simply up and left, without a single glance back to you."

My fist tightened against the fabric over my knees. My eyelashes flickered, but I forced them to remain shut. "They'll come back," I stated, even though my voice wavered.

He laughed, a cold and derisive noise that made my chest tighten with turmoil. "Are you sure? After all, how much could you mean to them? They could have easily come to save you, but they didn't. They only cared about the scavenger... They have abandoned you."

His words hurt. The truth beat at me, knocking the wind from my lungs in one single blow. I swallowed back the lump in my throat. He was close, far too close to my feelings of betrayal and loneliness.

"I'm glad they got away," I answered, allowing a smile to cross my face, even though I did feel its joy. "They're safe."

"Safe?" Hux sneered, pausing in front of me. I could feel his prying stare upon my face, ever watchful. "No one is safe from the First Order. My goodness, how naive you are."

I opened my eyes slowly and lifted my face up to him. He stood over me in a position of authority, towering over my seated form upon the floor. He wanted to play power games, but I refused to rise to the occasion. I glared at him in an almost bored fashion.

" You don't give up, do you? Preach all you want," I replied blandly. "You can't touch them now, they are far out of your reach. Rey, Finn, Han So-"

"Han Solo is dead."

What...

I froze at that and my eyes widened. No. Hux was lying, he had to be. My mouth moved struggling to find the words.

"You're lying," I whispered, my voice faltering.

"Am I?" My tormentor lowered to a crouch in front of me. His pale and almost sickly features twisted in victory as he smirked at me. " We dealt with him appropriately and disposed of him like the scrap of garbage that he is. He met his maker at the end of Kylo Ren's lightsaber..."

My chin began to tremble and I lowered my face away from him. My eyes burned with tears. No, I would not show weakness to him. My shoulders tightened and my knuckles grew white under the strain of my fisted hands. Despite my best efforts, the tears began to fall. I recalled Han Solo's kindness. His outgoing personality and easy going nature. Though I'd only know him a short time, I remembered how he'd been willing to help us. That lopsided smile of his had always made me feel like everything was going to be ok.

And now he was gone...

" You see," Hux drawled, his face moving closer to mine. His breath drifted against my hair and long, slender fingers found my chin, lifting my face up to him. "This is what happens when you defy the order. We do not offer clemency or second chances."

I shook my head, at a complete loss for words. I simply sat there, silently wishing that murder wasn't a crime, because at that moment in time I was seriously considering it.

I yanked myself away from him, feeling defiled and dirtied by his touch. His expression darkened at my reaction.

"Although, I am surprised by Kylo Ren. I did not think he had it in him to do it," he continued with malice, "...after all Han Solo was his father."

Too much. It was too much for me to process. A fog descended, shrouding me in a lethargic soup of distress. My blood rushed, filling my ears with noise. I stared unblinkingly, not really seeing the man before me. So many thoughts and emotions were drowning me. Han Solo was dead, murdered by Kylo Ren... who was his son!

" What a sad ending to his pathetic existence," General Hux persisted without missing a beat, almost as though disappointed. "He truly was weak."

I blinked. A tear rolled down my cheek, lonely and as solitary as I was feeling in that moment.

"You're a monster," I breathed.

Hux lifted a pale brow. "Things would be much simpler if you accepted the truth." He held out a hand, beckoning to me gently. He had all the lure and enticement of a snake slithering towards its prey. Seemingly innocent, but preparing for the strike.

"Join us." His voice turned light, almost warm with affection. "Be sensible now and consider this carefully. Death will come to those who oppose us, it is inevitable." He leaned closer, whispering. "I'll even let you in on a little secret. Your precious Rey is not all that she seems to be. She is one of them, one of the wielders of the force. She has much potential and power within her. I am willing to spare her my cruelty. For you..." His fingers caressed my chin. His cold eyes delved into me and I saw nothing within them. "...If you would only serve and obey me in return. Is that so much to ask?"

"You are seriously deluded," I answered with disbelief. How could one man be so arrogant? So hateful and vicious.

"I beg your pardon?" He questioned, clearly displeased.

It wasn't the answer he was wanting, but it was the one he was going to get.

I looked at him, hard and steady. "I won't help you and I will never become like you. I would sooner die."

I saw the lid of one of his eyes flinch, a sign of his barely controlled irritation. "I do not think you-"

"You are a snake." I cut him off swiftly. I wasn't done with him yet. In fact, I was only just warming up. " Look at you, standing there in your neatly pressed uniform. You're nothing more than a toy controlled and manipulated by other people. A pathetic dog howling to the tune of your master's commands." I leaned closer, hovering a few inches from his face. "My answer is no. It will always be no, no matter what you do to me. So you, your order and Snoke can all go and kiss my ass."

His nostrils flared, his face flushing a darker shade. I wasn't sure which had wounded him the most, my insults or rejection. He lifted himself up to stand over me. "Pathetic dog am I?" He shot his head around to the nearby guards and motioned for them to come forward. "Grab her."

The troopers approached from either side, each one grabbing my arms, pulling me upright. I didn't fight them, there was no point. I didn't stand a chance against all of them. I stood there with pride, refusing to back down from Hux's intimidating glower.

"You will regret this," he promised darkly, stepping closer until our chests almost touched. " I will break you in every way possible. And then, I will bring the resistance to its knees and you can watch as I decimate your friends."

I said nothing. I had nothing left to say to him. He knew my wishes and he knew my answer to his demands.

"Bring her."

My feet tripped as they dragged out of my cell. Their harsh fingers on my flesh would no doubt leave a bruise. My spine stiffened with unease. I had no idea where we were going or why, but I had a feeling it was going to be bad. With General Hux leading our little group, we made our way through the endless corridors before stopping at a large set of doors.

Hux punched in the code on the keypad and the entrance opened. I had no time to take in my new surroundings. They hoisted me to the middle of the huge room and pushed me into a kneeling position upon the hard floor. They snapped something heavy around my arms and with a quick startled glance saw metal shackles encasing my wrists. A matching collar soon followed around my neck, tight and constricting. I then noticed the array of connected chains and wires that ran from my now bound form to a set of machines nearby.

Fear rolled through me and I looked with wide eyes to General Hux, who stood nearby watching me closely.

Hux smirked. "Do you know what this is?" He asked.

I shook my head. I had an idea, but I wasn't going to voice it. The machines nearby vibrated and hummed dangerously from beside me.

"This is my playground. It is where I bring criminal, traitor and rebel alike to face their crimes." He prowled around to the nearest unit and ran a hand across its surface with affection, like one would a loyal pet. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this, but you have left me with no other choice."

He pressed something and the machines around me began to surge into life. Blazing light shone down upon me, blinding me. A strange current sparked and found its way down the chains and across my skin – a silent warning of what was to come.

I began to struggle, pulling wildly at my restraints, breathing heavy with the terror that was now flowing like poison through my veins.

Hux hesitated, waiting. The silent question clear in his icy eyes as he lifted a brow up at me.

Are you sure you don't want to change your mind?

"Never," I rasped, bracing myself for the inevitable.

"You will learn to be obedient... I guarantee it."

A button clicked and a switch was flicked. I barely had time to think or to breathe as crackling heat soared down the chains, flying with alarming speed straight towards me. I could not back away or escape as a pain unlike anything I had ever felt before engulfed my body. There was no gradual progression into, it hit me with full force like a tidal wave. I fell and began to thrash across the floor in agony. My mind grew unstable, I couldn't think, couldn't see logic. Unable to contain it anymore, I threw my head back and screamed. I couldn't bear it. My vision began to fade.

With little else to do, I fell to the floor in a heap, just as the darkness descended.

[crollalanzaa]

tagged by @janespendlove  - thank you. This looks fun. 

RULES: Chose any three  fandoms (in any order) and answer the questions and tag ten people you want  to get to know better.

My three chosen fandoms:

1) Haikyuu 2) Yuri on Ice 3) ... uhm ... lets go for Shokugeki no Soma

The first character you  loved:

Suga ... still love him

Yuri Plisetski

Shun ... possibly or Takumi

The character you never  expected to love so much:

Oikawa. I loathed him and used to throw things when he appeared in the manga. Just LOVE him now

Victor. I thought he was manipulative and would break Yuuri’s heart. (Victor is my fav now)

Isshiki - he was so preposterous, wearing only an apron or a hat. Just a ridiculous person even if he was fun and kind. But ... when he bothers, he’s just incredible and he has some of the best lines ever.

The character you relate to  the most:

Hmm, several. Little bit of Yachi, a lot of Suga in his overthinking phase, and that feeling of being outshone (sobs), Hinata and Noya’s loudness. Saeko for her fierce loyalty.

Oh ... wow, they’re all so driven and talented, I’m not sure I relate to any of them. Maybe Minako or Mari.

Ha - answered this the other day. I think the person I’m most like is Yuuki Yoshino. Small, loud, enthusiastic and loves game. I relate a lot to Nene as well, her backstory with Isshiki and watching someone come in and do everything so effortlessly better than her is so relatable. 

The character you’d slap:

Teru/shima, maybe (still not keen on him after the stunt with Kiyoko). I’d cuff Atsumu round the back of the head when he spouts garbage.

JJ - he’s an idiot, although he redeemed himself totally at the end, so maybe I’d slap Micky instead for being a possessive brother. 

I loathe Azami intensely. I’d slap the Elite 10 who voted with him to knock some sense into them, particularly Tsukasa because boy, you are beautiful but WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!

Three favorite characters:

Suga, Daichi and ... this is tough. Bokuto or Iwa-chan, or Oikawa, or a Miya twin or two, Suna. TENDOU!   I might go for Tendou as third place ... not sure. Gahhh, this is so hard

Victor, Yuuri, Yuri

Kurokiba, Isshiki, Souma (and shout out to hot dad, Jouichirou and Gin ,,, because ...)

A character you did not  like a first but do now:

Lots of them. Oikawa, Tsukki, Tendou. I loathed Tendou but at the end of the Shira match he was fantastic, and I decided he was amazing. 

JJ. He was a knob. He’s still egotistical, but ... he’s 19 and dedicated and has a lovely girlfriend, Isabella. 

Erina Nakiri - she was so mean! But the story is about her character growth and I’m loving that. 

Three otps:

Oh, not sure I have them for all three.

DaiSuga, IwaOi and ... uhm, EnnoAkaa or KeiSae (but also v fond of Kyouhaba)

Victuuri, and that’s sort of it. I like some OtaYuri but wouldn’t call it an OTP

Hard because I don’t really have any yet, but Alice/Kurokiba is something I’m interested in. Possibly Isshiki/Tsukasa or Isshiki/Nene. And maybe some Yuuki/Ryouko - supportive chefs, bfs, and gfs. 

idk who to tag so .... @bisexuallaurellance @wildkitte @medeadea @museicaliteacup @delicadenza @amalasdraws @pinkteabagarhut @mysecretfanmoments (ask mrsecretfanmoments for advice)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

The Emoji Movie review

[NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS AN OVEREXAGGERATION. PLEASE DO NOT WORRY OR TAKE HOW I SAY THINGS 100% SERIOUSLY. THIS MOVIE HAS NOT ACTUALLY MADE ME SUICIDAL.] 

This is it. The Emoji Movie. A film I and the rest of the world have been dreading. Today I have finally seen this film, and… it has drained me of all will to live. This is it; I can’t live in this world any longer after having seen this movie. This has to be my last review, because I can no longer live in a world where this movie exists.

 Is it because it’s so abysmally bad as all the reviews said? Is it truly the worst animated film ever made, an utterly soulless cash grab of a movie? What could drive me to my death like this?

 The fact that… I just… even after seeing it, I just can’t muster up the absolutely vitriolic hatred everyone else seems to have for it. It’s not even bad. It’s not even good. It’s just… meh. This movie is meh. And after getting so hyped up to see the worst animated film ever, this is… disappointing. Heart-breakingly, soul-crushingly disappointing.

So, what is the story here? Well, Ralph is a villain who feels out of pl- uh, sorry, Emmet is a LEGO man who wants to conform but ju- oh, um, pardon. Joy is an emotion who… okay, you get the idea. This film is nothing but a bald-faced, shameless ripoff of the plots of a dozen better films. The “Be yourself” message, the hero who wants to conform but learns to love being expressive, the journey to find oneself… it has been done to death, and done a billion times better. This movie is just every animated cliché ever. Fuck, the whole trailer revealed the entire plot and story arc in two minutes.

God… the worst thing, aside from the plot, is the main characters… But they aren’t even bad enough. They’re all so unbearably generic and trite. Gene is your average hero questioning his identity. He’s Ralph, he’s Emmet, he’s basically every goddamn animated protagonist for years and years, only with most of his personality excised and replaced with all the beats but none of the character. For an emoji with so many expressions beyond the one he’s supposed to have, he’s not very expressive. And even with all that, he’s just so inoffensively bland it’s hard to hate him. Hi-5 is an obnoxious comedy sidekick who contributes very little to the story and serves as a hindrance more often than not. But… he’s still got a few good jokes in him, and while he’s absolutely obnoxious and selfish, he’s still not as awful as he could be. Jailbreak is a ripoff of all the blue-haired action girls you can imagine, shamelessly cribbing Sombra, Chloe Price, Wyldstyle, and more, just subtracting anything that makes those characters interesting… and even then, she’s still not totally void of good moments. These three characters are who we spend time with so much, and they aren’t more than depressingly bland, generic archetypes. It hurts. Why couldn’t they just be absolutely, unlikably awful? Like, they all suck, but they just don’t suck enough!

And goddamn, is this plot filled with horrible, awful stupidity! We have Jailbreak spouting off terrible, hamfisted feminist messages by stating men take credit for things women say all the time, we have the human characters acting like words are uncool and emojis are the only worthwhile form of communication, we have the conceit that phones have firewalls and that internet trolls can just simply be deleted forever with the click of a button… oh, if only. There’s just so much that is unbelievably stupid and pathetic and poorly done, the whole story feels like nothing but a first draft that somehow got greenlit with no corrections done. And that’s not getting in to all of the blatant product placement, such as the cringeworthy portrayal of Dropbox as some sort of heavenly safehaven, Twitter ending up being a savior, outdated meme videos playing on YouTube, and the extended Candy Crush scene.

But I wouldn’t feel like dying if there wasn’t those few things of value, those things that keep me from letting loose pure unbridled hatred as so many others have, and saving myself. For instance, the animation… God, this film is an absolute treat for the eyes. The backgrounds, the visuals, the human characters, there is just so much visual stimulation in this film. It’s plain fun to look at, and it’s such a shame that so much talent and effort was used to make… this. It honestly hurts worse knowing that this gorgeous film is a subpar animated comedy.

Oh, but even more depressing is that the film has some genuinely good characters. The villain, Smiler, is so absolutely blatantly villainous due to how passive-agressively nice she constantly has to be she ends up being far more likable and entertaining than the so-called heroes. It helps too that she lives in what can only be described as a cosmic horror story, a Baby’s First Lovecraft if you will: she lives in a universe controlled by a fickle teenage boy whose first reaction to even the slightest malfunction is DELETE EVERYTHING. She has every right to be as concerned to the point of madness, as even the slightest fuckup would result in the utter annihilation of her entire universe; it’s to the point where she, despite the fact that in any other movie she would have crossed a million lines, comes across as one of the most reasonable characters in the film.

Then we have Poop, the character voiced by Patrick Stewart, and a shining example of how this film wastes brilliance. Poop has maybe ten lines in the movie and a few visual jokes, but everything he says tends to be rather funny, and he even manages to squeeze in a Star Trek joke. Why didn’t he get to go on the journey instead of Hi-5? If we’re going to listen to a bunch of jokes, even shit jokes, for 80 or so minutes, at least it’s Patrick Stewart telling them.

Next are Gene’s parents, Mary and Mel. These two are, without a doubt, the funniest characters in the entire movie, due to being in a constant state of “meh.” They react to even the most intense and stressful situations with just the most hilarious indifference, and even more baffling, they get a truly beautiful and emotional scene late in the film (!!!). Yes, you read that right: there is actually a beautiful and emotional scene in this movie. This only further compounds my sadness; why was the movie not about these two? They’re the best characters! Why is the spotlight on their boring son, instead of on these two hilariously indifferent emojis who can actually pull off a genuinely tender moment?

Finally, we have Akiko Glitter, a joyous, bouncy dancer who appears in the Just Dance app. She’s sweet, she’s fun, she’s cute, she plays Wham! She’s such a kind and bouncy character! …And at the end of her only scene she is coldly and brutally murdered by Smiler’s robots as her game is being deleted from the phone. Her death is bizarrely shocking and depressing for this film, and even worse… we see what happens to her after being deleted. She is trapped in the garbage, continuously dancing in agony as it is all she knows how to do, her eyes dead as she goes through the motions of a job that no longer exists. And despite her  kindness to Gene and friends, Gene opts to leave her to die in the trash, not even bothering to save her when he comes to save Hi-5. And yes: she dies down there. This wonderful, fun-loving lady is left to die in a hellhole filled with garbage, trolls, and spam. Fucking Christ. If I was not depressed before, I am now.

So to sum things up, this movie has four redeeming features: evil brought on by existential dread, shit, unadulterated indifference, and the horrific death of beauty and joy. That sounds eerily like every review has painted this film, and yet… and yet… It really isn’t close to being that bad. Chicken Little was way worse. Doogal was way worse. There are so many movies that are absolutely, horrendously, abysmally awful, so many films unfathomably worse than this movie, that the hatred feels overblown to the point of being hollow. And I wanted so badly to hate this movie! I wanted to join in with the crowds, and cast this down as the worst animated film ever! But, I just can’t in good conscience do that, because it truly isn’t. The hatred for this movie is just a knee-jerk reaction to the soulless cash grab feel it has. And it is that, but it’s just not bad enough even with that glaringly obvious fact permeating it. I can’t even tell you if it’s so bad it’s good… it just kind of… exists. It has highs, it has lows, and I just can’t really sum up how I feel about it accurately…

Well… I guess I can… This movie is “meh.” I cannot bring myself to feel strongly about it one way or the other. And that’s why I can’t bear to live anymore; this movie let me down in the worst possible way. It just wasn’t bad enough to warrant my vitriol, or good enough to warrant my praise. This movie promised to give me at least one extreme, and I silently prayed for the other against all odds… and it delivered nothing. It delivered a depressingly middling experience.

So farewell. This is it. The big finish. There’s only one way I can truly end my life after seeing this, and that is by calling upon the one true awful emoji film…

I did it for the lulz.

I did it for the lulz.

I did it for the lulz.

[triumphorce]

Canali cloth attire, laid nonchalantly over fire, from topics uninspired to disgruntling pressures under fire, targetin spires, charrin sleeves and leavin nothing but naked wholehearted beings and tarnished iron trim,

Finest barbed wire imprisonment, causin marred alliances, as blood rushes from self and rusts the pine links and pinned leaves of holly twine wreathing appeasement in drama, makin tied seam strength synonymous to tenacious, blocking and blanking aiding regimes agelessly fought for, proud of sorrow, lamenting praising or barrowing triumph,

Enough with all the staged in attention addicted Lady Gaga verbal-apparel, needless needle embroiderin shared ploys of disappointment, but this ain’t Roleplayers anonymous and if it was you staged it rather obvious, in which case, yeaa, I think we got it,

shit changed, you couldn’t foster, lest maintain and thus you lost “it”, only caught up in acts of homicide and robbery, so bring the coffin please, from Dubai to a community threw to die in poverty,

Only spewing faux wit, So now I faux pas truth, dismissin laundered talent, in a drought cause you deserted yourself, So now it’s comin back to haunt you, in all of these fluent water spouted lakes, flow faux naïf-unbound, quenchin haters inner child, Dasani crisp, Danali limits I exemplify in lyrics, announced atop of cliffs, offerin poetic gifts to ones not honest to his or her own, spread my mission and bring it home,

Forever getting nearer…

In completing literary pyramids of intricately-equaling mirrored wit, clearer than disappear and gentle wind, so why do I still progress through temperance, when seeking creative ledges and you can't? risen over fallen tears and then some, tearing hair out and donating it, hearing nothin to turn my cheek, only bit inside of it, fearsome hearings anxiously veered me to mutiny within my mental premises,

Breached only by a will to hold on for the truth of dawn’s sight, my muse has already prophesized,

So all the whining and sighs are not from loss in site, just from loss of sight to finding pride, ultimately locked by their own conceit, slowly teeming in self affixed, self-defeating exemption of ever proceeding again, ignorantly limitin their consistency and causes them to make excuses as proof of cloaked Excellency, good enough to leave them hopeless in others’ motives while only promotin de-motifs,

So don’t stick around if you enemy to entropy of Nyxheim’s present loathe-state to future shone intimacy, loss of lust whilst shifting reigns in palindrome planes of outer realms, nothing gained to balance attention deficient objection-ist, only denoting initials sewn in collages

Of over-flaunted acknowledgments, either in past-due accomplishments, preceding reasons for “dis-membership”, or indicative diction of whose grievance was largest in adoptin Nyx, ehhhh, really more like auctioned it,

And left those who were followin nothin but college-long lists of problems and Martyr trails of wrongly “discarded” characters, that newcomers are forcibly strayed to wallow in,

Cause you felt betrayed, orphaned with no conception of tolerance or perseverance, so you bring Apollo carriages, carrying Carrie despair within, isolating Carian with over-weary, heavy cargo of caricaturing problems, harnessing false pretenses of sharply edged double-sided warfare relieving care of duty,

Started bombing in the name of over arching tales for plotted dreams in fallin air, waiting to be harvest bare,

But faith, as sun’s rays, fades to darkest made disguises, on a stage portraying lively, their pain, light seldom playing a part in, not sayin what’s displayed is fake, but obstinately placing blame in comments that only lack grace, negates the modesty, replaced with garnished garbage feeds, it’s okay to leave, but not absolve your fallen dreams through thoughts displayed, always talkin bout Arcadia when it’s obvious that that ain’t the problem here,

subliminally imprintin dreams, that only break ‘way the ones who inherit post-Bush offices, self acclaimed authors in the art of roleplayin but lose throttle when change of what has brought them here brings loathe to redeem past events, no desire in furthering grasps, or going beyond to creatin a masterpiece,

Needing to get away from all of this, might drop another thousand bars again, so maybe it’s best for the one’s stuck in the dust of production’s joggin pace, place their resignation, doin nothin but hatin and disengagin,

Been restraining range in all of these poems’ exposure and chosen topics’ engagement, Been thinkin a cadence of change in scenery is needed, so I needle topics, stringing phonics, innovatively harpin new is the god in us,

More importantly, expressing more openly my focus on what’s goin on in ominously woven carcasses unbeknownst to their artistic reach in ever paused heart beats, in that moment, leavin no hope for today, tomorrow’s already over,

If none elope, then what other possible motion is left, guess I need to spell it out cause most of all I’ve seen is over-merited

Oblivious talkin, no shown weight difference in comparison of something cherished behind, just pound for pound hypocrisy

Encased in deceitfully thoughtful speeches boxed in reminiscences, obnoxiously demeaning what the beginning offered,

Speaking of how awesome it once was, forgot love, well what’s not love is the op-tion to allow what you claim gave you a faucet to fall flacid,

Turnin diamond ring carat facets to fragmenting all of us, and not even from any leave of absence, but more because of a leave in passion and that is self-practiced,

In the face of comparin the past and present, one in the same path of two,

So of course what’s already been contracted looks more attractive when you haven’t attempted latter effort, or laddered endeavors, lapped or even attempted to catch ghost from past time trials, just  just the action of lacking spirit,

never heard of movin backwards to get to past hurt and since truth is truth, what’s done is done,

Like what’s hope is hope, thus, when true and influenced, is so, still only renewed once the whole of affiliates facilitate to group as one again

until then i will promote hope in, and gratitude forever owed

Fin.

[ryanthedirector-blog]

To Prioritize Needy News

1.  Purple Hibiscus 2.  Counterfeit 3.  Trust everyone 4.  Delusional ( Like you haven't) 5.  Product 6.  Jordan 7.  None of your business 8.  Double standards 9.  Commercialized, failed experiments 10.  Ten steps 11.  Paranoia, is love stronger than death? 12.  Swim with the fishes ( God said) 13.  Savage patch kids

Purple Hibiscus

What do you like about me? I like your eyes, your smile, they warm my heart late at night when we make unrequited love in the pillow sheets What do you like about me? I like your humor, charm, and the way you talk to people every time you communicate it's like I'm watching a superhero Psychedelic mushrooms have taken over us, it's overtime and it's nice out so it's best you leave Ever since I dipped in purple I've been feeling a little ill, ever since you've left my life I've been leaving a little trail of my tears and I hope no one notices Before the sunset I'll take what's left of me and drag myself to the nearest bar, I got no care but I've walked a million miles before What's a girl like, I wouldn't know I've just met a bunch of bitches. My bad, too bad, all the good ones have flown away from me, I've color coordinated my thoughts with chocolate dip I'm sorry Madre I've inspired a bitch to fuck sideways I'm sorry Padre that's not what you would've taught me, I know The rumors aren't real, you look cute but you keep leaving me in the blue, that's why I have to cut you out I hate to go zero but it's a lockdown. Itself on top of ourselves that's one to many light to go out Purple ruined me that's why it's demotivated me in my own shop, Finance Fuck hatred I'm high for beauty that's why I'm making art for people who can't stand the sight of me, a member of some weird society where they can't keep there goddamn mouths shut The flowers are blooming in the sky, trust me I would know I've been there, I've done that, it's a pretty sight when you're trying to take a vacation away from the monsters that creep up to fuck with you These walls cramp me up that's why I'm scared, I tried to call for help but I don't expect anyone to answer it's best they get moving cause they don't want me, clearly I can see that At my worst I called for a friend, and I got more than a friend, I got everything I've ever needed and he was here all along that was God Formed a relationship with the man that's our business, he gave me everything I needed that's why I killed myself off in Finance until the album came out, it's genius I drank Lemonade and ate some chicken that's all I've ever wanted, someone with pure skin to pass me an opportunity I love you for that, I love you for giving me the chance to hold your hand to guide me through some teen process that only Brittney Cherry could handle Brittney Cherry good luck in college, and Gianna too. I've always thought you were the last two with class in class Goodbye ladies I know you'll have a holy future, my friend told me that you would and I trust his guidance Even when the paint dries I hope my friends will still be there for me. Love is love and loving can be difficult when one's sand sinks to the bottom of the seashore I swear to god I can't change, but love me just the same and I'll love you right back More Pina Coolata's for the girl she might need some, shielding others for my conscience that's what I'll teach my daughter If Finance is the devil, then I have to be the angel cause everyone is the opposite My only opponent is the homophobes who want to be mean to the heart of America, go fuck yourselves I am what I need to be to strive of excellence, and everything I do is excellent that's why I have to try to eliminate the forefront of the wall that's making me suffer lightly with a spatula of butter Dipping in purple may look nice, but it has its cliches even the Bible I was handed said so. Something doesn't seem right but I tried it anyways, and I had to murder Ryan Lapierre because of it. Goddamn these condos and conversations that I can't be a part of cause all these worshippers of the bad things shun me Shut the fuck up I can hear you I'm right here standing behind your back. I never thought you would spurt those words but you did it anyways. That's why I'm angered, frustrated, and a little bit confused Confusing how the friends you used to have, go behind you and say some shit when you did nothing wrong. Backlash for no reason baby that's a holiday. Sober gone wrong, now I gotta go back I'm a Christian now, better not crash If I had to rewrite the pages I'd erase most of the characters, America calls them the villains, I just call them garbage that belong in a disposal Laura won't you marry me, in this black Bugatti Too early I thought so homie This hibiscus is making me laugh in circles, on repeat, and even cry sometimes in my sheets that I used to make love in with my ex girlfriend prison convict soon to be Soonest flight to hell would help, holy shit these people can't spell, I can't stand these bitches. Take a hike and never come back that's the motto for the better hit it If I'm so good in purple then kiss me minutes into sun If there's real out there show me something before it has to rain If I'm the right fit, why are you trying to leave me and Vin Can there be light, I think I've found some, it's with God and his soul Fuck Eddy and his team Don't be scared I just kill you Knowing upon knowing updates of everything going on, I'm feeling like an online textbook full of knowledge. Thank my friend God that he made me a democrat cause fuck these conservatives thinking that black people are the problem of America. Every time a remark pops up my face turns blue and I punch a wall Megyn Kelly let's fuck Isabella don't duck Dip in purple I must Dip in purple I did Turn the lid upside down Soon to be spouse on the way Spent a dollar on some jewelry That's why my sister doing that And I'm about to kill the enemies Here we go don't blink cause you'll miss something 3 2 1 Die

Counterfeit

Holy balls all you motherfuckers get a look at this, I just robbed a store and the police are out to get me. Do you have the audacity to fuck with a God like me, I don't think so, after all I'm a grinder with the characteristics of a figure skater, skating a figure eight without two eyeballs, but one eye looking at his momma analyzing her facial expressions, to the judge the situation of her divorce with the alcoholic father Catch me if you can I'm a bandit on the loose, if you blink once all you bitches gonna miss me make the biggest move of my life. Wait until May 8th that's when I'll really go crazy. Counterfeit banquet hanging on a mouse. Mousetraps across the border, they're coming after me but I'm dodging bullets like the Matrix Keegan Shea can't come close to what I got, and that's a fact all the morally right people know that. I'll take a cherry blossom before the game and fuck my life by making these fucking operations that's a crime in its own self. Sophia Avril I'm sorry for Operation cherry blossom, that's when I was on the vodka Made a pretzel video I'd rather be playing the pretzel game with Alyvia Say your last goodbye before I'm cuffed up winking at my girlfriend Flavor your menu before I have to do this for my momma, my sister, and my fans I got an army that's ready to demolish the lobby, and the swamp full of dirty fucking douche bags who thrive off ignorance, ignoring the fact that there's women around. How can one be a Russell Sanborn when all he does is get rejected on a daily basis, basically what I'm trying to say is he doesn't give up, but based off of the new haircut it looks like he has A lovely day outside to bump into someone on purpose and pinpoint a pressure joint on a girl yelling my name in a moaning motion, that's what the fuck I live for at this point. Research your details before you make a dry remark about what I do, what I do is what I need to do that's why all the bitches call me baby All the Avril's like my style, businesses like the pills I give them even if they get drowsy during the meetings. Shut the fuck up this mediation ain't a joke, I was at a rough spot stop making up stories. I'm not the bad guy, but you a bad girl, Crystal Bowersox fuck something up so we can hit the water spout Counterfeiting a counterfeit that's my charge, don't bartend it cause I'll be back bare nude calling my baby baby, and my lady my girlfriend Jake Ford, can't you go to Singapore, get some better ear piercings they really make me wanna hurl. The reconciliation of a process that's meant for one not all, makes me wanna go to get a car to catch some snakes and kill them off Don't you understand that the cops are after me, it's a common thing cause I'm scamming those bitches off. Shit I'm an official bad boy, is that what God made me, or did he make me to hate people like you. I'll counterfeit what I see especially if I see some uncalled for touching going on between the two of you. Operation Bigfoot I'm so sorry for nothing I don't regret it, note to self don't date a blonde. I'll date a brunette so she can give me that cool sex. Sexual tension between me and the girl and it's getting to firm so that's why the white cops are after me Counterfeit it Counterfeit it Counterfeit it Comeback to life, that's what my future wife is telling me her name is Mercedes I'm just kidding don't shoot me, stop taking everything so seriously you're being so naive go swim a lap and drown to death. Batshit crazy in the bathroom they can't find me here, hereby stating that my eyes are locked in on you and I'm about to snap into a billion pieces cause all the things you say make me wanna grab you by the eyes, and use them for dinner and the jungle Jungle feathered heads making friends with dicks, suck my dick I won't be humble about it, it makes me sick. Makeup all over the couch, the mascara rubbed off, after the offensive drinking that took part at Worcester Technical High School. Skin the bottle, spin the bottle, tell a tall tale about you have no talent, that Alyvia Hagearty won't you be my friend, there shouldn't be in end because I love you so much, I'll pay millions to buy you another tye dye shirt just to see you sneeze on it Counterfeiting a caper the real caper is all these relationships that just form into dead fish at a butcher shop Who's Grayson, Grayson I love you man let me buy you a drink and I'll take a shot after every dirty look you give me in the cafeteria. After then I would die from alcohol poisoning. Power to Pasquale cause she's counterfeiting Erick's heart, like Gigi did to mine. I got God on my side, but even if I didn't I would get a fucking massage and think about all the numbers that Vinny and I lost just to step forward in an operation. If this was the Office and I was Michael Scott, Pam Beesley is right next to me flip flopping like a Budapest making pancake plays on a magazine wall slurping Kool Aid on Wall Street that's why she's a motherfucking wolf, don't vote for Trump. Bitch they're after me, no one can save me on this one this is one where you might just shove a onesie up an ass, and a blue pill in my mouth. Zoom zoom zoom I'm a zombie biting the necks off my enemies. I offered to help but Paul you're making it worse. Paul, Keegan, Roose, Eddy, even the repetitive chubby Edison. These are the men that are in the dungeon. I came to feed but I can't feed all these people humor when they find humor in Hitler Swastikas and racist remarks. Fuck we're counterfeited Counterfeit my feet for money It's a myth don't play with my heart Little silly goose you fucked with the wrong guy I may not be important to you But I can ruin a life in two seconds

Trust everyone

Why does hell have to doubt me, don't they know it Man oh man do they have to know it Damnation can't be real I know, I know, I know May I have a minute with you, I'll make it quick cause I gotta give all my sins to the bank cause it's donation season All the times I've made mistakes I've met my doom it tastes like fucking ivory Socially I'm a butterfly ready to bloom and roll big for the homies, the ones that spend dollars on pop rings If emotional barriers hold people back can emotions be economically stable to be sensitive on a bank account, does it matter? Momma said to your lifestyle the way you want, just don't smoke weed in your future apartment, or anywhere for that matter Anything for the woman that raised me. She, sissy, and Vinny are the only ones I can trust, but somehow I end up making the mistake of trusting everyone Each time someone takes a shot at my heart I'm depressed and imagine me drinking again, I hate it but my biggest problem is getting sucked by the magnet that people hold up onto my body Trust everyone that's a flaw even if it sounds like paradise it's the worst possible encounter to experience. Exiling a match full of women at the party in my twenties in my class there's a real beauty. I'll stroke her like a jellyfish and snuggle her like the twelfth commandment that I switched up as a law that you can tell a secret without getting shot, and wear a hoodie without the bad man fucking you up You are complicated but some how your complexity rouses me. Even when everyone has left you dazzle me, don't take too many shots at the party you're my blonde mermaid. Meet a man who gonna give you something like your father did. I put to much faith in my economics and my freedom of ownership Don't you dare give a talk to a bitch when I didn't give permission Don't go out to tell you friends just so you can Smoke in Fresno later with a freshman Trusting everyone that even talks to me, better write a note that later on we'll become the best of enemies. Fuck all this shit in the parking lot, I'll just past the resort and jam some Advil in my system and call it a night. Putting everything into someone just to get intolerance, you know why I killed myself in Finance it's cause I got my heart broken again it's no mystery History repeats itself when people get released from their disc to determinate dangerous demonstrations like a dictionary with different colors that's different from the ones they came in with I hope once I grow up to become a botanist, they write my name down in pen and rubber stamp it cause I'll roll out knowing I fucked up to trust these four fucks who ain't funny no more Edison I'll cancel your storyline, it's giving me problems, it's getting repetitive the repetition isn't even humorous it's cancerous. Brain damage on the way your shtick is the definition of a short circuit Jazz is my favorite line of art, but they finesse me and I can't get out. Emilee Algieri I promise I'm the one to trust. When the gig is over, maybe we'll connect in a way that others can't. Idiocy is a running theme, so within myself I must start the conversation I guess that isn't too much for someone with iron balls of steel. Excuse me Emilee but I see you walking by, and you look awfully nice, maybe we can walk around just to watch the stars and eat some rice. Beauty is upon you I can see it from a mile away, it's like I'm looking at Cleopatra but you are so alive. Pick up lines are for pussies that's just me being modest. Trusting people who trusted demons who can't be trusted throughout time isn't the best thing, but the bad thing is I do it more than I start an engine sobbing. My queen is queer she's a beauty god, a disco devil almost like D'anglo. Baby when I grow older and my walls have been fixed by whoever wants to fix them, we'll go golden that'll be on my younger tongue 24/7 It's hard sitting next to the same old people, getting no credit for trying to spice the whole thing up, they're sour Sour skittles try to make a move with me and maybe we'll be in the same bed sleeping together. McCluskey remember me, if you don't that's cool too, you'll be getting to know me in the summer. Whichever pill you take that's fine by me but you're alliance could be in shambles Better off dead the fat man said, with scissors I can trim your face off and watch you die in the Sahara Gianna Sasso taking names I'm liking what I see. Alana Trotto that can't be my motto I'm learning not to trust her or her feelings Trust everyone no more I promise, I'm a better man, I'm the best man at the wedding, I'm little God I got a metal that says so. Hope is alive I see it clearly, I can feel the finish line even if I put to much of my stock in people that wanna use me. I'm pissed off my heart still can't pick up the damn pieces All I want is a buddy who doesn't want to fucking kill me Vinny Sasso, Lucas, Eh Koh Loh let's gamble some shit on the poker table Phonies across the area, people can't be so dumb it's called life Don't get so dramatic Jessica that's melodrama at its finest The melody I play is love someone in the first three seconds When it takes them three months to open up I'm not about that shit anymore Trust everyone that's for pussies I'll give you all a lesson about life God unchained me to my father I miss him so much I used to go to therapy Even when someone says they're with you that's bad rhetoric remember they're lying Juvenile twats in court that's what it comes to, or a break up text saying I'm a tool I've heard all the things I've needed to hear Abner Cruz you're a crusader But my ass need to a day breaker to break Jordan and Ryan up Can't you see you can't trust me and we've established that especially Emma Thuot But hey I can't trust all these so called allies either cause they'll snipe me using Nothing but there stone cold eyes that never liked the sight of me Who can I trust, I used to trust everyone until now I trust no one and nothing not even my own mind. She called me sugar daddy, and sent me nudes dude what the fuck that's disgusting, but give me them digits you know because of my depression

Delusional ( Like you haven't)

I think it's about that time to come back alive and make a comeback for the homies I love you God, I love my friends and to myself I'm the king pin of this bitch Take your passports out. 30 day Europe trip awaits us pack your bags we're going now Bitch I'm gonna be the King of London fuck it Ireland all the ladies are gonna love me Cause I chug like there's no tomorrow and side effects are false advertising Board the plane, the day is waiting, first class for me and Vinny coach for the ladies I'll be drinking champagne with a cherry on the top, on the rocks, flirting with the flight attendant cause I'm a pimp about to proudly produce some chemistry I may be delusional and a little bit crazy but I sure do now how do dance so take the blindfold off and fuck a foxtrot and share a tango with the king It's like you haven't seen someone who has a personality before, I promise you mama the personality is down under he's a fucking animal, and a fan of the nudity he breaks walls to be with all these pretty ladies it's delusion Now we're here in Europe I'm about to take my fine ass into the party that's delusion, but if kind of sounds delicious. Death do us part until one passes out wasted underwater in a hot tub, like you haven't done that on a daily basis. I take my three friends Livy, Julie, Vinny into this party seeing freckled friends from all across the country smoking illegal shit with no one to stop them. I see one pretty lady with long red hair and I take her hand to go upstairs in the lobby where it's empty and the light switch doesn't work that's how you know this will work Julia's with three fat Yonkers that our light years way ahead of themselves they are teaching her how to handle stress cause they've been through it all. Giving her advice about what's wrong and right, remember combining spam captions isn't something just to block him Alyvia is dancing with three delusional women they are French I can tell by the birthmarks on their necks. One of them is Lea, one of them is Adele, and the other is Amy. Amy and Adele are making out this is fire oh my God. Like you haven't seen love before that's a lasting impression on an impact tattoo that Vinny's getting on his forearm, pull the fire alarm we got a bad motherfucker at this party I'll tell you what's delusional all this delivery that has to deliberate into a fallen deal because of tax emotions and evasion. Bad motherfuckers find it easy to kick the can when she's making out with Brittney Cherry. I call up the homie Christian invite him to this party too, if this party gets a little foolish then he'll ask for nudes that's some bad taboo, he gets nervous really quickly, so let's invite Gianni so she can flirt with him for free Delusion in Europe that's what's going on, fucking pretty women in my long form 2. Seconds of fun, but hours of silence besides the occasional surprise that my lady wants to share. I take my friends to this nice party in Europe, but once the shit hits the fan that's when we shift back to normal Morality is key when you kill someone on a high streak, I'm a steamer I've steamed many times banging tables like I'm on this tank. I think she's delusional that's why she's singing in my shower, I think she's delusional cause these jockey douche bags are taking control of her mind. I knew she didn't have a brain but she got issues, I want to help her but at the same time I wanna see her crash and burn. I can see the rain when you cry, when I cry it thunders that's just a Tuesday that's why my God knows Tossing and turning the next move that's delusion, that's paranoia paralyzingly paralyzing the pop sound that beat boxes in my head like twenty thousand lions roaring. If we're at this party and we're heavy drinking like we're in heaven, then how about we wear our tuxedos we look fresh in them regardless of our color. Sometimes I fantasize about us shaking hands at a Shibuya festival, that's how much I'm delusional, like I haven't popped a pill since the year my gramma died. All the bitches that give nerds like Sachin anxiety ask me where does your delusion come from, and I say it comes from Thing one and thing two and throw Patricia in there too. My days are twenty four hours and I consume my insecurities onto ounce trays but don't forget Trayvon I'll never forget I love you man Superb squab on the table which fucking pansy gonna grab a knife and cut into the blood. Humus, humor, hummers, I'll give you my life if you can fix my delusion. Abortion cuffing into clinic law that's why I hate Clint Brooks I'll block that bitch faster than I scream at my television saying Hillary won, wishing one last farewell to my friends before my favorite comes and I forget about them go fuck them. Funding with feuds that I like to take part of, it makes my noggin go into a frenzy and my light switch colors on the second. I am delusional, I will stay up to very hours to make myself happy getting high on marijuana pretending my stuffed teddy bear is a woman that I can get down with sandy hook jokes aren't funny you anti feminist orangutan, just because I said something you said doesn't mean you have to say what I said was invalid cause the things I say you treat my adjectives like an adjacent back rub abusing my proprieties and priories cause what you say isn't what I say cause I say shit that you say differently than what she says cause he says what I say contracting to the fucking crap she says to appeal to what he says to see what she says saying what he said to say what she said ending what he said and I'm the he, fuck you bitches I hate your hips, go suck my dick

Product

Contributing money to the foundation of my financial career, with all the money spent I'll take Karate lessons with leftovers, every time Ebony opens her mouth I go through internal therapeutic sessions The reputation I've built for this empire is unquestionable so don't undermine me cause I'm riding on top of the planet with the girlfriend that I'm hiding and no one knows about If I'm some kind of product how come I don't have a price on me, they can't take my pride away, this fake shit on the car that you sold before the par that you stroked that's partnership, I'm anonymous another fake day with fake friends doing random shit that children shouldn't watch This concept a product has semi tan complexion with bipolar colors that's personally disturbing, don't have fun without me I know you can't anyways cause whatever I am labeled as is good enough for someone with a stroke of beauty I don't create the blood, but the pills are being crated now, nowhere can you find them cause they're hidden in a sacred place that you're not allowed in I've been through a whole lot in these sixteen years of breathing air, both mentally and physically with the press of a button I could just explode into millions of pieces, a millimeter of what I do is to impress, I just dress to win over the trend that's why I gotta diamond watch that's too big for my scrawny arm Scratch the cassette that may be the right thing to do, mistakes are a virtue but when you get called names that's when you want to fuck a bitch up Washington when can you surrender, at what point to you get attention for being criminals I am minimally sure that's they're miming me, and watching me, they treat me like a product when I'm just a human being Temptation is a nightmare on an anniversary celebrating a couple who fights all night and day, and wants counseling. Think about what's best for you, even when I'm on the street I help a homeless man out cause I believe in him Powder blue skies that's what I have to compromise pretentious people for, product that isn't me cause I'm pretty clean Rave to the fear, that's light they think I'm something that I'm not, forgot what they said I don't give a fuck just don't identify me as such You and me tonight let's make it happen, don't worry I'm not a wound up doll, if anything I'm a Jack in the box cause I'm so imaginative. Imagine a world where guessing games was the main goal for Gucci sandals and sunshine for a silver friendship. The glory days is when we didn't fight and I wasn't labeled as a product, looking at future houses and a fucking bicycle that we can ride all the way to Shibuya If we just got along alone in a house with not a soul there, then maybe we can laugh like when I used to post YouTube videos for you My knees are numb from all of the pain that didn't feel real until now, if I see you on my feed I'll break down into tears cause I miss your pretty smile There was a sparkle and now the only sparkle I see is in the sky, beating me up for a pair of sunglasses and socks A hooker and a eight ball in my lucid dream, but maybe the dream was with you I forgot how to imagine a motherfucker man without frolicking in the sand, Oh my god I am a product aren't I Underserving acclimate for the worst of the day that's why we give out accolades. I tried my thing with Alyssa Accord but she blocked me the next day. Friendzoned like a fuck that's five fingers chopped up, and ten lines crossed out in my hand An elegant garnish could've saved the time I spent grieving I'm a nocturnal animal Nocturne like a love bicycle that's a bypassing byproduct for bystanders forming claymation cause they can't get a piece of picture pussy themselves Now I'm forced to practice like a product that's foreign to some producers of self communication and dehumanization it dehydrates me to death to think about those people in decades to come Just to rewind to the remembrance of Eleni that Greek chick that I used to have a crush on, oh my Ryan Lapierre your lady picking is similar to a homophone with disaster tendencies to disable a teleporting line with telekinetic tendencies to financially fuck someone with money in their pockets, that may not be my morals but that's the way that I draw feel free to vomit in my coloring book, after all if I'm just some company than you can't compact a product that hasn't even hit puberty yet, that's just puppetry In Tunis lied cause I'm institutionalized for my bare knowledge that I display on a day to day basis. Going larger is a vibe that's why my vibration is a lie, just look at my relationships which tend to rather die Being labeled with a sticker like I'm the United Kingdom, I'm supposed to be the king of you how dare you switch sides and ride with douche bags with dildos Illegally this is taking me to a place of mind to start a stab show with a butter knife, and ketchup for dramatics. Honey don't forget your perfume that Chanel works for me and others even though I'm more of a rendezvous guy, God hodgepodges my 2017 by giving me another set of testicles, at my own testimony I hope Asiah shows up she's the only one that doesn't tissue the shovel when the struggle is on high alert in the prison that we call a job Loved as fuck but damaged as such don't do what you need to know that's my job. My confidence oiled onto a stretcher crippled like a wounded soldier luckily I saved it, cause what I gotta do to get revenge for the homies that sadly had to die is sabotage to enemy and use power to my advantage Bitch they say I'm such a product, but I'm a productive prodigy. It's proficient to profile a motherfucker with the chemical balance to backtrack a bassoon like O.J Simpson. If I'm being compared to the Matrix than how can all of this be real, instead of myself being the problem, maybe it's the skinny dipping skull bitches that caress the drama first and I'm okay with the that, because if I go out looking good, that's good enough for me, cause I got what I needed and the need has salvaged me into optimized strategy

Jordan Warner

I'm getting tempted by these jockey fucks, smelly fucks with body odor they don't use old spice, my old grandpa who I hate because he's old smells better than these buffalos. I don't care though I'm in love, I'm in love with these assholes cause that's my drift, my end game is to break a heart cause I got nothing better to do, and I'm straight up clueless Motherfucker what you doing asking me out on 9/11, bitch who do you think I am, I'm Jordan Warner not your whore from pre school, I use boys to get attention cause I'm petty and pretentious. I won't love you, I'll only pretend cause I like Chris Sweeney that's my babe. I'm not just some wannabe Wannasee trash chick from the valley, I'm a freshman with some spice that I got from the garden alley. In my garage I have my cleats I'll spike a motherfucker who wants to call me Cherry Blossom They say I belong in a mental asylum no I don't I'm just American. Shabalaga we're best friends but best friends don't fuck that's why I gotta fuck with Sweeney. All we do is just argue like we're smoking shit, what am I supposed to do just sit and kiss you. Every time we lock lips I projectile vomit all over my grandma cause she's old Fuck old people they look so gross, fuck everyone besides the ten boyfriends I have they all cool besides Ryan Shliapa. You look like a llama you act like a lady cause you're so fucking sensitive I have everything a lady wants I'm hot, I got the body, and I don't rot like a lamb getting catabolized for food experimentation. Don't you dare to try to fuck with me Shliapa you are never going to see what's down under, even though you've tried I've declined that's a no go bitch Bitch I stare at Ryan Lapierre because he looks at me like I'm some kind of psycho witch. Who's this Ryan Lapierre he's a real fucking douche he can go and suck my dick. Sweeney won't you beat his meet Okay that's enough agent red I've caught on don't think I haven't seen you. My mental capacity is strong and if I have to break out my habit of strategy I will. Instagram eight at night I'll text my motherfucking brother Ryan saying watch the fuck out, you're getting cheated on like a snake on the human scar. Bitch what the fuck is going on, every time I see you you're on another guy's lap. Being caressed by football players without a brain cell, when he's not looking you go tongue to tongue with Dylyn. Am I just seeing things, or do I see a motherfucking phony. I will wipe up the blood on the floor, shit is on the wall, and these walls create a monster. If you wanna end this shit show how bout you break up with him, his breath is being wasted by a red goldfish loving nightmare. Jordan Warner I admit you got the looks, but the only thing that's on the inside is black and we all know that. Three alter egos in this fucking song. Jordan Warner, Ryan Lappy, and here comes Dennis Jordan Warner won't you love me, I just want to feel you all the time. I miss the times that we used to cry over The notebook that was the shit in 2004. Once you and Ryan end your thing maybe we can fully comprehend and complete a figure fuck in a final mental showdown with a moth I got a thing for red heads, Alexis was before, and you are the present. You might be the president of passive aggressive nobodies but let's agree to love one another without going to the next person to fuck their slimy ass. Don't assault a bond that we painted on the first day of dating, Jordan Warner I know you're daring, but you're dating me and it should be for good, don't be a fool and send nudes to people that you're not supposed to. I want the password, to see your history with certain people, I got my knowledge from a blonde who got her knowledge from a thot. You might not be aware but I know much about you, just wait until the summer once we're talking you're probably going to fall in love with me too. After all you have thing for Ryan's. If you want to date Mr. Anxiety than how come you're not dating Erick. He's the clingy time that can give you free sex all the time. All my friends say that red head is something else, that something else is you fucking nobodies for lunch money Warner I warned you to backtrack those broken thoughts because I see so much potential, but when push comes to shove we'll all be throwing a pity party towards your name. Ready for the summer I know you are Mrs. Warner. I'll help you sort your shit out so you can be a loner. You can have me I'm single and I like Pringles, oh wait I'm sorry I'm taken to Alyvia I'm kidding that didn't work out. I got my eyes on you at your lunch table. Vinny and I are pulling some true detective shit we catch things that even your fuckboy can't catch. They call me the king because I can find the cracks in a relationship. And I've found the crack it's you Jordan Warner. Plumbing isn't your job, I want you to be in finance so you can tickle my inner mechanics to have the motivation to punch someone out that's playing cards with the devil. I love you Jordan Warner but stop cheating and stay loyal cause to wrong to play origami with five people at once. The points I'm trying to make are valid so just follow along with me someone who thinks you're a model in a construction class with a couple smelly fucks who can't spell for their goddamn lives. The language I speak is fluent fact that's why you gotta stop squatting on your two things at once yoga mat and take a lap to realize the rat that you've become. Jordan Warner you should be an organ donor so you can donate something for once in your life just stop sitting there and watching. Unless you make a change, you must be stopped by me and my members. How are you gonna tell your kids that Chris Sweeney is their daddy because mommy made bad life decisions. I've only had one special honey and her name was Isabella and once I realized she was the fuckin devil I had to let her go. But if you want what you please I ask you Jordan Warner to go ahead, but remember to feed dinner you must be remembered as God's creation, and I can count my fingers to ten but if the clock turns to twelve clockwise and you haven't changed, tech will turn to hell, and hell will be upon you Goodbye Shaps, hello Lappy Goodbye Sweeney, hello Ryan Goodbye dye, hello natural I'm the gucci bitch don't mess with me or my handbag, I'm a little tipsy but I'll tiptoe to get some more whiskey. And fuck him before my daddy come home to see me ripped

None of your business

Damn personal space means nothing to people no more, I'm not one to call someone out like a picky person but pick up your garbage when maiden mothers try to motorboat your lips without lipstick and a flick of shine Cannonball in the crystal clear water, clearly the wagers aren't so private when Captain Obvious crushes on some angel from Amsterdam that's you Sophia None of your business what my work is, what matters is that my mental health is cleansed before the big game with these sick motherfucking children who act like I'm some mass murderer murdering the force God why did you leave me with some anomalies I can't unbox, it's unbreakable because unblocking me is clearly something that they don't tend to think about Even whenever I'm minding my business, there always seems to be someone bitching about how I'm something that they don't want to be, I say fuck them and continue to make alliances with people that care about my feelings, and love me Attention ladies I'm not scared of your threats, they make me laugh cause it's pathetic how one can stoop so low to never talk to me again. How about you get your emotions checked out so you don't make a mistake and make out with waysides riding the dicks off other junkies Our whole friendship is a subliminal message, this is supposed to be a community I suppose we don't all have to support each other but when one is sipping the juice of the devil than I have to duck None of your business what I'm doing on my Periscope. People punctuate without any preconditions on their plate and quite frankly I'm sick of it. Disappointed in glitter that Amanda Gocklin isn't mine, but minerals can't adapt without a leader and these dry rocks pathetically ham in terrible insults to make me start something so they can victimize my decisions. Oh God they're demons, kill them with a stroke of your arrow, and sacrifice the heroes in sight for the villains that don't shed light None of your goddamn business who the fuck I talk to, let me do my thing. Stop acting like my mother when you can't even raise your attitude to be mature enough for a group chat. Changes I need changes to be a man that has rational cumquat potencies. Drink a magic potion, so that you faint when your ass deflates in defense to the bullshit. The cabinet is full of cabinetry that's not what I sign up for I sign up for the memories, the good times with people that experiment with exotic flavors. Instead I'm only seeing the cast of an extra excoriated exorcist go fuck them all with my themes and my animals Watch your mouth, I consider myself to be a charade of Christ because of my fatherly hula hooping to the people that need a brother. Circling around the dining room just to touch a beauty and her crown, drowning my sorrow with the duchess to clutch my used to be crush with a white Ferrari and a diamond ring with flawless diameter. The streets are filled of contemporary women who push me aside even when I'm productions fresh strawberries, goddamn watch your goddaughter her and the car are about to collide, fuck that it's none of your business what kind of color I dip in cause I'm out chasing the seventh severance package that owed me a dollar for lollipops Tried to fuck Lindsey now I'm biking to try and find myself love again, it's none of your business that I'm nonexistent dying my hair for the extended warranty of a bad boy Julia Pasquale watch it don't make threats when you can't dish the heat, I'll dance in the night to ice pick the homie to my right who's up my ass about God knows what, I just tell her to dig in thinking I'm driving insane on the far line of immaculate bulldozing. I won't pick apart your shit, if you dip into the good side and stop fucking around with my heart, none of your business to tell me the to do list when mist is in the skyline, and soloist is the next step in my nest Hotel up there, excellent excerpt you taught me to butterfly, to swim good from theories looming I NASCAR has a special piece of my heart, none of your business how these colors interact in my interstate At the strip club with all these people on my lap, but all I think is how I get back at the assholes, do I slash their neck with red, or kill them with the blue If your business was my own, then I would take ownership of heatstroke me and Heather would die The feather flew down from the sky, I'm about to say some shit that will go over your head, and the only business that this pertains is mine and a select few Tell me the fewest crescents to go over the moon without coming back as a wolf, clawing cans backstage I wish I had my camera to document this Stapleton. Love is like a box of chocolates, but I swear to god the shallow people purr like Luther studying damnation, I am shaking but fuck you if you think you're so proud of yourself, you are wrong because your eyes are red from all the crying that the fathers brought Hey I've been looking for a good one for my whole life, when I reside and resign from Earth I hope I've already found the second piece of the Lapierre show None of your damn business can you please leave bitch, Karma sutra that's aura. Angling the way sliding out there water bottles, I will fucking kill you, and fuck your before the moon comes back, and the background gets reversed by my backhand strutting in the bathroom. Newscasters America is a duck, and my classmates suck, but my business can be defined by the way I come about. If one hundred fifty wasn't enough then I'll go to a bridge concert to concede my cool to sell you out

Double standards

My homie got beat to death cause he dated another man. He came out of his shell to date him, he felt so brave, I was a proud brother the little homie identified himself as what he was I love that kid. We go to Shannon's party for a few cocktails and I witness my homie mingling with another man so I go over, cause I gotta see the rundown of what's going on. A couple hours later my homie is making out with the man, I'm stunned in glory proud that my shy friend can adapt into a tank that's some real talk. Perfume hits the air as the scent of pine scenes trees in springs, there's no tornado outdoors cause this is a party full of outsiders, this is their time, it's timeless love, way to go homie you got yourself a boyfriend. Don't let nobody tell you nothing. A few days later I call my boy up he's still with the man that he fucked at the party, he finally felt like he was loved, his parents gave him no attention, getting spanked by dad 24/7 he didn't live that good life. So he rolled some blunts with the man as they locked eyes and started kissing nightly. I walk on by to the house I smell marijuana it's a little bit crazy, but they're madly in love and I'm happy for my friend as he was knocking on heaven's door days ago. I invite the two of them to my place for a couples banquet for some shrimp and pasta, they say fuck it yes let's go tonight. So they put their matching tuxedos on and their colored bow ties with Chanel, and pack a couple wine bottles cause they know me well. The wind is harrowing, above looks sad, but that's just the casual rain. I invite the homie Donald I've known him since pre education, and he's a people person he can bond with the best of them, he's so great. So I get the crackers ready and the champagne popping, this is what you call a fucking party. Donald arrives with his golden necklace, his goddamn grills, and his girlfriend Selena. She speaks fluent French and that's how I like my hookers sister he knows what my heart craves. Selena's knee snapped on her way to the bathroom, before the party started and she started crying like a wounded gazelle, Donald goes to help her when I hear the doorbell ring. It's Jarome and Jared my two friends, my great amigos. Matching tuxedos, with a man bun eighties style looking like studs. So all the guests have arrived and I'm about to introduce one to the other cause I'm such an important host. Donald gets up off the ground with his French princess and gives a dirty look when he sees Jarome and Jared holding hands. Jarome is all in he reaches out his hand and Donald slaps it looking angry, we were scared I never saw him this upset before. Donald starts yelling saying what the fuck are these faggots doing they should go to hell. I punch Donald in the face saying get the fuck out of my house you inconsiderate illiterate don't use that word that's offensive, where are your fucking morals. Donald doesn't care he takes me to the ground, grabs Jarome by the neck and takes his belt out while I'm unconscious. Frenchie and Jared are trying to hold him back but Donald is so buff that they're no match. Punches are being flown, and tears are being shed. Jarome's face is purple as a grape, as he falls to the floor, and he's pronounced dead. It's 2017 what the fuck are you all doing, let people be happy and live their life the way they want to. I don't care if you're gay that's fine by me, it's not a choice if someone tells you that say shut the fuck up you don't know nothing about LGBTQ. All you conservatives, and bible pushers wake the hell up we're in a new generation. Where relationships can be formed by people with the same sex. If God could change the Bible he'd let gay people be, I know God is up there shaking his head at the Texans. If me and you have to fight the system then we should do it. The system don't give a fuck about orientation, minorities, or transgenders they just talk about deporting, and discriminating against all of them every day. I'm a straight man in High School and I got more common sense than you baboons. The only gross thing I see is a republican going on about gun control like an insane dumbass. This world was made by immigrants, be thankful for your local Muslim who you're probably not paying a dime. It's 2017 we should all get along, and accept one other's lifestyle. Donald Trump ain't doing shit so how about we control the country in our way, where everyone gets paid the same, and equal rights are the name of the game. Trayvon Martin got shot for wearing a hoodie, Oscar Grant got shot by the police for simply being black. You know how much suicide is going on cause you bullies encourage hatred across the nation. If I have to be the preacher that has to unite the country than I will in 2040. I will be there for you, even if everyone has left, and you don't have a home let me be in your heart as I will care about you. To all the gay people out there that feel like they can't fit in I'm here for you, I'll help you out I promise you. We may not have a leader who gives one damn about you, but we can raise the rainbow flag and wave it high cause you shouldn't feel shame in who you are. You are loved by many, and these communities inspire me every day, the light will come to you, and you should never feel shut out

Commercialized, failed experiments

Did you experimentation work the way you wanted, do you commercialize your options just to fit in, inside do you have the heart to fertilize the scent of a rose? These walls can talk they come to life at night, I took a shot in the dark to try to fix the broken machinery but a man can't stand uncompressed memories, that will put me in memorial service. How about we get some Vodka just to ease the insanity of the inside of our insurance. You help the homeless out, while I slap my homies in the stomach. It's a golden shower filled with desperation and droplets of teardrops that would make a grown man cry. Operation Bigfoot was an experiment, and it expired rather quickly. I may be no Bradley but I got better abs just ask Isabella. Sunshine in heaven that creates diffusion between my different quotations that's subliminal for some reason, easy there you were being used, you were born to be a user. Useless to think of some clever username just to make you reek of depression. If there was white behind me and if I had to speech a couple lines I would put on this act that's not part of the contract that I signed as little baby. Controversy is my middle name put that on my Mimosa and my peppermints. The sound of one's engine energizes me to experiment on people with thyroid problems, and kidney failure. The daily routine is to act funny to save a life, I do that for a lifetime don't you think there's something behind the lottery, if you do you won the million dollars. Baking heartbreak like that Crystal shit cause she knows what I have been through, commercialized attention whore, just to gore a fitness package full of illegal pills. Red or blue I'll let you choose, just so when you pick wrong I'll be the one to leave the casket open. Molly aren't you jolly laughing with me at the attractive blondie, that's going on a vegan diet, failed experiment she gave up to eat that Chicken liver in two minutes time I saw that. Five hours a day for nothing, treating it like I'm working a job to fight the fury of our future nation enemies. The day before the election that's when I called up my army to fuck the fun to ruin shit that would never be. With Pasquale we then killed something that didn't need a stab. Might as well unlock the injection code to inject, cause I was fired from what I loved, we sat there silent thinking is it over for us. Now the bitch that freed my self doubt about getting out there wants a job at Burger King flipping fake patties just to get some money for the restraining order against her boy toy Dan. The story was her breath smelled like Mocha Latte Chocolata at Coachella, cause she was drunk on caffeine that wasn't me, she chose the red. If life is an experiment than all these failed experiments are created by exodus experts who flush the blood down the toilet on a monthly basis. I don't smoke that weed no more, it's better if I try to be independent cause I was identified as a motherfucker before. To take my anger out I might have to sell out my closest allies even though they did nothing wrong, commercializing my life story as a soon to be teen mom cause my gateway is straight into my own territory, shoving intelligence out the window to interest my mental issues so I can see the things that I'm not supposed to see. Eyes glimmering maybe it's just the fertilizer that I sprayed onto my new red Bugatti, on the carpet I rolled with my homies like a dog, but I'm prepared to brawl about some random shit to get people to hate me, even if I'm not getting paid, it's better to stand up for what you believe in cause I'm in a temple of love. I'll say I'm more friendly, but it's okay my judgement is clearly flawed. It's my turn to talk, I promised that I would try to help, but how can I help a broken branch when she's clearly impossible to work with, the impression you set within my ecosystem is a high intolerant crybaby you need a fucking binky cause quite frankly I'm sick of your official shit. Fuck we experimented way too hard and now together we must witness what we created, when is summertime so I can drink and dance just to text a stranger to phone fuck at twelve AM. If America was watching anyone with some common knowledge that doesn't work in congress, would sort out the heroes and the villains quite simply. Accusation every day, all I wanna do is flush someone out with a flashlight and duck tape, Loving cringe it's turning into a permanent disease for me, maybe I'll just paint my whole body with tattoos saying lick me cause that's what I get off at. If someone could see the real something they'd turn into a raven and fly south forever, this thing is going downhill that's why I'm bringing out the pills, cause every time I talk what I get is attitude, fuck attractive people. Guidance Councilors and countless guilty people in our circle, peer pressuring pear heads to headshot the many mistakes they make on their headset equipment, the IQ of Finance is equivalent to a Chipmunk, but at least Chipmunks can keep their mouth shut. Even when I'm trying to help a fellow upset man out, I get pathetic friends from the girl before her sweet 16th birthday, let me do my work or else I'll go on your account and disable it. Don't think I'm soft the only thing that's soft is the way Jahmiah talks to us, God bless her. Commercializing this television program with unsettling behavior, but fuck with me and I'll turn you into a commercial that no one watches. A part of me wishes I was in Convo cause I've come to the conclusion that making this collusion constructed destruction in my mental health. A failed experiment is an effort you make to try something that is unlimitedly armed with the love from the up above, but when your experiment inherits the injection of rage in your blood, maybe you should excuse yourself and stop trying to make it work, when the makeup has run dry.

Ten steps

Ten steps to glory, that's a thousand trophies to the house of Tori's Bow down to the bobber with some money for some common ladies Me I'm pulling a Lazarus, saving up gasoline for the trip to China Use to be a quad but I'm feeling a strong trio, with homie and the queen Don't hate me, hate how the game is played it's checkered seven Several thousand people have havens about amnesia but I'm ten steps to living I'll down a million mountainside mints at your show, and sugar high myself to entertain I'll take a rain check on the shower, I must continue to fuck with Jamie Raising expectations, them motherfuckers creeping on to attack me But I've stacked some spaces between the wall to talk about our song It's wrong to miscommunicate that's why we can't go on that date Rate you out of one hundred girl you're a sold eleven, cavities from caviar And desperate for attention so I go on Skout to find a skinny later with some paper I ran out of tears when I was ten years old, nowadays you can find me hungover I'm the best of my generation, making bets on what colored underwear you're wearing in the bedroom, coming up from the soil in the renaissance to fool a face off for no more than two cents a fucker. All these fun fucks fucking my formation, that's my favorite heartstrings to play when you're heartsick from these heartbreaking unbound academic caterpillar sketches. Ten steps before I dunk myself onto the winning throne, where I'll throw a bone to the babies cause they seem to be getting incurable rabies, accumulate a calculation where the bitch never wins, and wishes come to function to find my buried treasure in a punching match that I won. Seven inch inactive, how the ladies gonna see that I must report it to the firefighters so they can fact check it with the bloody casket. Used to go twenty steps backwards when I saw boomerang bullets in my class that I created. Now I take ten steps forward cause I found God, and he's here to help me to try to kill a messenger who's acting like a puppy dog just to fit in, cause we stole his people away, so to stay cool he spreads some fake shit cause he a mother fucking snitch. Now I got the yams, I got Richard Simmons handspring and I'll fit it in my ten stripped polyester suit, that all the ladies say is a sweet ride for a goddamn pimp for a lifetime One step is I the God in the sky being the best in our skyline life and I got the skills for all that paperwork, rolling paper right cause I'm a people person fitting in to extra terrestrial extract sessions for a fellow privileged butler getting closer to the butter Two step is she, the issue, the extinct example of a diva elephant, she might be out of her element but she needs tissues to breathe, cause after all the time she complained she'll be dead in the sewer Three step is he the son, the misogynistic father that bothers the living hell out of everyone he meets, fuck him to a tee cause all he does is play God with his significant other who's republican as the others in the suburbs Four step is Bella won't you rub your Nutella into my you know what, cause you know us, it's out control intercourse that feels outdated but the doors are locked, so give me more before we snore until twelve P.M and the cops are knocking on our door Five step is Gianna the Rihanna of the seniors, God bless you you're the only one that I don't hate, a privilege to make some enterprising entertainment for you, my biggest fan no doubt about that I wish you the best of luck at Worcester State, may my friend bless you with a good life, so tight. Six step is Rocky, membership to asking girls out on Shrek dates, the only ogre giving oral any time soon is you and Kendra Rose when I hook you doves up in the summer morning of July Seven step is the betrayal, it's best to not suffer my institution with a forty eight caret caregiver who masters the art of deception. It's best by default to move on with my life, but the definition of myself is someone who sticks around even when I smell the scent of disgusting nastiness, ditching but I'll pitch my case or evermore I'll shut YOUR whole shit down Eight step is either which way, is it best to rest in paradise with parasites all over you while you're looking at Tom Ford Tuxedos, or is the better option to bet on a super operation to bowl all over competition in a call to rial dimensions? Sleep talking without a gate I'll video tape the whole thing to send to my therapist, she'll like the popping noise Nine step is encountering hipsters with trigonometry, trading poker chips, and power moves if you're so popular than make a loving gesture to a girl with some fantastic log in code, decorate a door for more makers of minutes so your Matrix idea can levitate into a diaristic ball and chain potential client teen that gives no damn about anything besides his Justin Beiber water bed Ten step is the animal. If we have to fetch with synonyms, and homophones to make a home satisfied than toss around the idea as God as the Zookeeper, and me is the lion. I am trained to be a beast, don't expect a day without some chaos. Simmer was the middle name of the hotline of the shaken anti christ chickens that will fuck their pants with a mittened teddy bear Rare bikinis at the magazine shop which sells magic offside vinyls for middle class entrepreneurs like Ryan Lapierre. Ditch an entourage, to go into a Montoya restaurateur monologging with seven people who externally and eternally encourage you to set a dream to fuck Kate Upton. Uptown girl don't go and cry, I'm straight fire but I'm more of the guy that takes the flames out. For fun I'll make another one die and urinate on the sidewalk jaywalking Beatles style with some real heroes. May not like my personality but that was my intern job, May 8th come and the job has just begun. Ten steps watch me loosen screws, the screen is mine, in screaming time

Paranoia, is love stronger than death?

She liked my Sherlock, I went to far and locked the page with paranoia Karnataka paranoid shit going on, she called me schizophrenic cause I was losing my marbles faster than when that entree came at the end of my last supper An average bitch learns how to do this crazy shit throughout pre teen, but the presumption was to love with ease. I loved her more than anything that's why we did a tango to Viva La Vida vividly and had some physically satisfying sex in the shower Stupidest question I was asked was where I got my paranoia from, bitch it's cause you fucked with my emotional gate, now the gateway is jittery and it won't cool down The lens on paper says to strike a starting point with a racetrack and a racer that is this so called legend, I learned to be Mr. Make believe just to forever forget a past that hurricanes my heart with a passion Mariah Carey Karaoke at the Irish bar, no incidents involved cause inside your shell is that coffee scented marker from the Valley. You looking at me with these dirty eyes and the edges that make me get all nervous, won't you stop it. I wonder numerically were you just here to design me, and at the end tear me apart with all your mighty. If I gotta go make an alliance, then call up people who have at least two brain cells. All these games are making me paranoid, a one night stand turning into a three month love fest in the matter of a minute. Bitch what do you want me to do, I won't be your Jake Ford stereotype I can open a fucking door. It ain't easy creating one thousand deaths to spare a thousand pyramids. Teaching me to myself not some mistake that can't feed a deed without being syntactically puppy dogged. Dark thoughts across my brain, it's complicated but nothing can stop the feeling of being lost, lady bought me a Ferrari, gotta stop before lose Jordan Warner is a prototype, stereotypical relationships that's not my thing I'd rather wait until my mail comes in. Dirty dancing alone is fine for now, just wait until a woman gonna love you. I miss the touch, and the feeling of someone that cares about you. Oh why, oh why do you gotta fuck it up, go through hell and back because of your dilemma, did you think that this was gonna happen I've gone too crazy, now I'm heading towards nowhere at this show that we call staged poultry. If I gotta be solo I'll rock that style on the download, if there's a no show before my father's anniversary then I'll talk to God and drink Martinis to I drown with some homies that will stick with me. Fuck you, I'm not an operationist, I'm just an impressionist wearing Nikes. Rather be impressive than be dating some kind of misguided culture bat. All these things go right to the heart, that's why every fasting is so sensitive. Every sentence is some unethical white shit, shut the fuck up my fist is fully charged. I am capable of choosing what deal I want to take part in, it doesn't feel paranoia but the creek cracks when life gives you love lemons and your face feels unfelt for the first time since you were a firstborn. Three dimensional model I was in love with you, you were in line with the wet dreams that happened on the weekly, weekends are a little rough but the only credit that's being giving is the art of bicycling across an acoustic version. There's two versions, but the side that is going to be revealing itself on a permanent permit is the side that lets others capitalize the catalog color that they are choosing to friend because of their ancestry. Paranoid about what people are gonna think, but if I take her to my kingdom then maybe we can make some small talk. There's no sense of acting sensitive when every session is about some medical marijuana and therapy on Every Thursday. Death is coming later on, but is love stronger I think it is cause it ain't any better. Twenty different procedures just to find a mistress to divorce in thirteen years. I don't wanna be in court, I wanna have a daughter. I don't want to fight with four different women I want one that understands that I'm not perfect. Perfection is reality but if we can bedroom talk for two hours making the best sex I guess I'm okay with that. Rhythm in the beginning is quite easy, but when the sparkle drowns itself in the Atlantic that's when a rough patch settles and it's not pretty. Fantasizing about Las Vegas, and months of wedding planning, I could write an essay about a perfect woman. Anytime we wanna be Cleopatra, then let's keystone the ignition and find a pretty picture so we can solve it piece by piece, if this is love than this is strong, I need to love I'll let it ride. High priced tattoos all over her freckled neck, I like that a put a golden necklace with your name on it, that makes you so attractive. Just don't use me because my butterflies are punching my stomach because I'm scared of what might happen, if our love runs out and the money goes to salvage. Holy shit what's your name, I better flirt like Ryan Lapierre cause this lady mighty fine. She's an archeologist that's into film, this is the girl I want to make my wife. So now we're going at it in the bedroom saying good morning when it's still dark outside, outsiders who don't got no Oscar, if we have a fancy dinner I'll show you what's down under. No Vodka needed, no needles in use because we love each other, if this is what it feels like I'll put a ring on her middle at the age of 22, to spend my life with her even if I'm near broke after college At some point we have to sacrifice our soul to the light, doesn't matter what age when your time is up, you can't fight it cause it's no option. It's okay for your eyes to well up, and upload sadness into something so vial, but don't be scared it's okay to believe, because when you reach out never look back, and believe in yourself.

Swim with the fishes ( God said)

Renegade I hate the tribesmen I wanna real estate that gives us pension, can I have your permission to get a license and drive late at night cause I got nothing to do? Broken hearted by my Holy Grail, hold the liquor we have to see what is in store. If I die tonight then temple come my allowance is sunk, it will suck when it's raining heavily across the crescent, even the ones against me could leave some memories God said for me to Swim with the fishes cause I got fucked by someone's murder weapon, I didn't think I'd die with someone out to get me, something's in the water it's commonly found as granite I'd defy gravity if I defended my moral rights. God is right he did that, he's done it, I think if I do the things that he'd accomplished, then I'd make my future happen. If I didn't somehow make it work, my will is pointless when no one's praying for the homie giving out free lottery tickets. Living the good life with the magnitude within an appropriate manhunt, what's the matter with these people no thesis longer than eighteen kilos, I'm a rider good riddance my good friend. The blood is on the cross, and crossroads are cracking that's the communion I created. The colony is clockwork by the time we leave the circus, my circumference will be empty. Talk to God every day, confession every Friday we do our own thing, partnership that's defying odd-work. If hell was on Earth then wouldn't everyone breathe the same, if Heaven was here would our love stay the same as our plan. Please pass the grape wine, and a blue pill to bottle in and drink it when I'm lonely. The planet's full of Uranium and sky, let's give pills just so storylines can end. Steroid junked by a jury full of starships, weed metamorphosing in the air that's just the army of blondes, deadliest death done to silencers and broken headlights that's threatening to someone who hasn't throughly thought it through. Swim with the Fishes God said, I expect a pretty painting to be painted by an artist of I and the colors in one hundred years from now. It's professional to offer up some assistance when the advice your being given is armature level arbitrage. The obituary is in the paper now I gotta get down on my knees and start praying. God said there is different silver linings, so I took a source material to step my game up and instead of shooting the idea down I brought my own way into the inside. Chosen Chocking on by with a villainous violinist who strums her own swan song, when she gets rejected by a fellow abuser. Some choose the route of the right, and I gotta fight to go to the left, where all my lobbies are. Deathly sentence by overturn law enforcement, and beautiful mermaids. Lifeline love that's what we loved talking about in a radically tab inoffensive jungle. Not high on scenting, high on passion, when I start swimming in the pond that's when I'll allow you to create different wavelengths. Eavesdropping in a shack, that's where I'll be laid to rest, scene one and action that'd another paycheck for the girlfriend. It ain't party time when your relationship ain't perfect, the chick goes to tennis tournaments but if I have to strategize I can cancel my complaint card and complete in my motherland. Land mother don't day the wind when all you want is the sun, I promise to order balanced weather, from land and sea I will feel the need to raise the sand. Down in lovers lane I'll be the lion. I'd take my love by the hand, she might be invisible but it's what I got above. Going natural instead of the campy suit, I'm going out with my hands held high, my heart pounding even after the murder, next is the search party for my father. Nothing would make me more thrilled than to hug him one more time, never got the chance to tell him I love you. I can feel the lust it's like a magnet, building a better future for my conscience making connections. I'm willing to put the lonely days behind us, to lay you down from keeping you from feeling sad and breathless. Don't pray for the worst, freezing from kinetic killings that's happening to our renegades. Renew before I, cause I'm worrying the haunt has come. Comeback coming I am Lazarus, can't even tell the difference Idris and Matthew please come and find me, I'll play you by the fiddle and invertebrate an investment sticking stocks seeming inefficient from all the money that you're collecting, when all she wants to do is kick the bucket and run from troubling Ricardo the bartender from the ground under, cause all my barriers are cracked and the walls are alcoholic. Some scholar told me to push, and I'm pushing even though eventually I'd rather pull. A handout to some certain university called Harvard, I'll buy you a necklace before you head out the door. Swim with the fishes God said, when you do swim with the fishes remember to do the butterfly they'd satisfy there beliefs to see another butterfly. That sounds orange, but I'll keel snorting red to keep on moving on, embracing loses but when the win comes I will create. Paris and fashion in foursomes can fuck forgiveness but I will never forget. Hiding under the turtleneck if it's my turn to go, I'm going to die swinging from the fences. Within seconds of a time the round of applause gets smaller and smaller. Welcome to the splash zone don't you think this immaculate. Racketing you to go dial your friends in your rocket. Overdose commercials coming to a Dodge car near you, chargers fuck the swimming, same shirt but feeling shirtless to cover my eyes in the shower, don't hurt yourself it's not your turn to die, fierce fish fight eyes open wide, when will you cut your shit, and choose to come back. Don't fade my baton I wasn't finished with my screenplay. Key to my heart feeling the form that's some polished excellence. Experience delusion within five names I care for. I don't wanna die, I don't wanna swim with the fishes, God I love you do this favor. During the storm I never lost who I was

Savage patch kids

Everyone in June to September lived in my internal reality. The realization that I'm fucking up what the fuck is this? No future for the two of us, living separate lives without each other at this point I've gotten over it. Ice skating rinks are totally overrated, drama and a bunch of bullshit I'll pay God a couple hundred bucks to get me out of here. Lying about who knows what on a daily basis, attention span directed towards inaccuracies and misinformation. She was innocent, she had the right to say good riddance and goodbye to me. Never got the chance to express myself, I was rocking in mid June, and I fucked it up I should've took it slower, savage patch kids for life was the deal, didn't even last a year isn't that shame. I regret in sorrow every day thinking about what I did wrong to cause the dysfunction. No Ice Cream meet, or blueberry drinks can save the drunken days chatting about our personal secrets, safety was a key, but I realized I was in love and I took it too far by doing phony shit, texting clingy messages making mistakes on an hourly basis. Not only one I loss but I lost the sister too, months of healing I'm all healed I just need a minute to clear some shit up. Put the thing to sleep on the fifteenth, I beg and pleaded but there was nothing I could do, adapted too lately, realizing all the bloody shit I created at the end of the friendship. All I wanted to do was to help, and all I did was create more of a train wreck. We were tangoing with love in the beginning, but towards the end it was theoretically destroyed. I lied my way to the end, and the ending wasn't so pretty. Apology to her, I'm aware of these flaws. Issues in the summertime I got them all dealt with. The boat was too big, but my heart was to fixated on something that would never happen. Can't even look at sour patch kids the same way again, or listen to renegades without skipping the radio station. Real talk I used to be your number one homie, and now I'm the number one loner with no one but a bitch baby, and a crack audit who uses slang to fit in. Don't forget the good times we shared, I know I won't, even the thirty viewers on the channel won't, I hope I took care of you when you were in peril that's all I care about, because your perfection was the only thing I wanted. One wish it would be to take it all back, and pretend we didn't know each other just to start all over, because this shit went all unorthodox, I may not be a soccer player but I can rock it with my personality, I know I sucked at Town of Salem but all I cared about was you. Paranoid about losing the savage patch kid, that I couldn't focus on the finer things in life. That's what happens when you fall in love and can't get out of a delusion trap. You demolished two bitches I was a proud brother, they were accusing you of shit and I tried to stand right by you. I threw away everything to be the other half of the patch, but all I came across as was a pathological liar ruining everything one day at time. Everything was going so well, you are the best person that I've ever met, I am the nightmare that concluded communism to cross a nation that we didn't sign up for. Stop, I loved you with the passion and laces. No other lady had the ability to make me cry with sincerity like you. Song after song, text after text, but fuck it's over Ryan, you are a great person and you deserve the best in the world. You'll be okay I promise and I'll be here every step of the way no matter what happens you and me will be bro and sis until the end. You're my best friend and you're always gonna be. You're a great person therefore you will get something great in return someday soon. Sleep well Ryan, I love you.