#be my redemption
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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Role reversal AU
#pov: the most devious up-and-coming gangster checks into you and your wife’s redemption hotel#Charlie being alastor’s role model would be so funny#and he would be such a little punk as he tries to use the her resources and power to build his own and become an overlord#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel fanart#charlie morningstar#vaggie#alastor#my doods#role reversal AU
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guy from cowboy game
#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#rdr2 arthur#fanart#rdr2fanart#rues first red dead redemption fanart#i love cowboys#cowboy game hashtag lover#i'm addicted i haven't been able to put it down it's ruining my life#i really liked how this turned out#also my first csp drawing so be nice!!!
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STOP THIRSTING FOR HIM IN MY REBLOGS!!!!!! he's like my daughter its grossing me outtttttttt
#art#artist#cowboy#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption two#rdr2 fanart#fanart#my art#digital art#cowboy art#horse#horses#horse art#arthur morgan#arthur morgan fanart#rdr2 community#rdr2 art#rdr2 arthur
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VEROSIKA MAYDAY, Succubus Pop Star | 2x09 - Apology Tour
"Blitz, there is a crowd full of people here who cared so much they throw an entire fucking party about hating you every year! Do you know how much you have to care to do something as stupid as that?"
#helluva boss#helluva boss spoilers#verosika mayday#verosika#helluva verosika#apology tour#SHE CARED THAT MUCH ABOUT HIM#SHE *LOVED* HIM OH GOD#I MEAN IT WAS OBVIOUS WITH THE TATTOO BUT HEARING HER VOICE BREAK AS SHE SAID IT#AUGHHH#character spotlight#my gifs#helluva boss edit#helluva edit#FINALLY US VEROSIKA SIMPS ARE GETTING FED AFTER YEARS ON CRUMBS. *CRUMBS*!!!!!!!!!!!#Certified Redemption ☑︎
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most underrated gang member, imo
#art tag#art#my art#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#rdr2 community#red dead redemption 2#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption community#rdr2 tilly#tilly jackson
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arthur morgan tiddies and tummy thats all im gonna say
#my art#arthur morgan#rdr2 arthur#arthur morgan rdr2#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#man i have so many feelings about him#thinking a lot of thoughts#like that happy trail im currently staring at#no im not i gotta go guys bye
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So embarrassing but I’m having a zukka moment rn
Also Azula + Sokka bffs bcs if she got the therapy she deserves I’m telling u their brains together wud be unbeatable
(Ugh I keep flipping Sokka’s scars forgive me)
#fanart#art#illustration#zuko#zukka#sokka#atla#avatar the last airbender#azula#read this gorgeous fucking FIC AND AZULA’S REDEMPTION?? ATEEEEE SOKKA AND AZULA’S FRIENDSHIP??? ATEEEE#IT IS BURNED INTO MY BRAIN#IF I DIDNT HAVE FINALS ID BE PUMPING OUT ART LIKE NO TMRW#THAT FIC CAN TAKE MY SOULL#AND IT WAS ZUKKA SO LIKE FUCKKKK YEAH#sokka & azula
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🐞
#Chloe requires a redemption arc pls and thanks#I’m gonna pretend hawkmoth had an actual personality and a good character arc#shrugs#miraculous fanworks#miraculous ladybug#miraculous#ladybug and chat noir#chat noir#chloe bourgeois#mlb#alya cesaire#adrien agreste#marinette dupen chang#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#Queen bee#Rena rouge#my art
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save a horse ride a cowgirl
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#i love you arthur morgan aaaaa#this game destroyed my life ^_^#i want to make little prints of this ...#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#my art
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you can run but you cant escape
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oh arthur...
#:( sigh#oh... arthur.......#tw blood#cw blood#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#arthur morgan#my art#personal#digital art#fanart#rdr2 fanart#dutch van der linde#rdr2 arthur#rdr2 dutch#rdr#red dead redemption#digital illustration#artists on tumblr
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as both a good omens and red dead enthusiast i feel robbed
#neil gaiman i am in your walls#Begging for western aziracrow next season PLEEEEAAAASEEEE#good omens#good omens 2#do i tag this as rdr.#sure why not#red dead redemption 2#aziraphale#crowley#ineffable spouses#aziracrow#my art#digital art#fanart
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#mlp#my little pony#mlp:fim#luna#princess luna#nightmare moon#mod treat#this is based on one of the madeline/badeline arts in celeste :] i think they are a lot alike#i would have loved to see a nmm 'redemption' in a similar vein#like luna acknowledging she needs nmm and shes an important part of her AGH.
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#charles: mindin his business#arthur: hoooly shit. wow#my art#update! —>#image description in alt#charthur#charles smith#arthur morgan#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#rdr2 fanart#im still tryina figure out how to draw em#so this is a bit of a wip#but one that i likely wont finish. knowing me#still. figured i might as well post the gay cowboys#made this blog bc the hyperfix was Not relenting. have to get it out of my system
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