#bcos im so frustrated lol

[devouredher]

nah at this point im gonna straight up be removing ppl in my followers list if you clearly haven’t read my rules like this is so fucking dumb and annoying. i 👏 dont 👏 need 👏 to 👏 be 👏 shamed 👏 for 👏 writing 👏 what 👏 i 👏 write !!!! if u dont write taboo shit then gfto omgggggg

[kamaradka]

more

anyways yes the isolation from my self and my needs is a craaazy drug and its so easy to romanticize or enable even when im actually looking for support in working thru it ughh like the only way ive been able to relase the tension + control i have over my desires even partially is by bottoming which for so many reasons just isnt something i want all the time, and which i only rly ever do in 1 particular way, and i barely trust anyone to top me anyways, etc etc etc BLEGHH and i guess im grateful that i have been so trans and true to myself in that way for so long bcos otherwise i wouldnt even have this one thing lmaooo im getting so frustrated w myself as i write this LOL ok i need to go shower bye

[alienaiver]

I am rolling up my sleeves, I am ready! Bet!

I offer to you Kita, Tendou, and for a little spice ✨Tanaka Ryuunosuke✨

im rolling up my sleeves w u, HELL YEA LETS GO LETS GO!!!!

Kita, Tendou and Tanaka headcanons!

Kita Shinsuke

songs on the ipod: this boy loves classical music.. but like, especially if he can relate it to something, so y'kno.. ost's. like merry go round of life from howl's moving castle, concering hobbits from lotr!!! hmc bcos you showed him that movie and concerning hobbits bcos it was the first movie night he experienced with inarizaki (followed by several chaotic more so they could finish them all). it brings him smiles when it plays in the kitchen as he's washing the vegetables or meal prepping

a place they sometimes end up falling asleep - where they're not supposed to: his garden. like he's been at the fields all day and now he's taking a little lunch break with a cold cup of water, enjoying the sun in his face. aaaaand, nap! u have to wake him up gently, tho

the game they'd destroy everyone else at: he's AMAZING at yaahtzee and no one rly gets it,,, ofc that game is a blend of luck and skill but he always wins

the emoticon they'd use most often: :) LOL like. he likes when u and the others send him emoticons but theyre so... complicated

what they act like when they haven't had enough sleep: he's adorable.. like he walks around lazily, t-rex arms as he bumps into stuff and apologizes to the furniture etc. he gets vERY quiet and the first few times its rly concerning to experience (is he mad? why isnt he replying? whys he so quiet?) but hes just. lost lol

preferred hot beverage: green tea! one that is very sweet, much to everyone's surprise

comfort/self care when in a slump: talking w his grandma. like, they play a random cards game as he sorts thru stuff in weird, spacey metaphors that he dont rly get himself - but he feels lighter... fresher, afterwards

what they wanted to be when they grew up: kita's always enjoyed the simple life on the country so it was early he decided he'd inherit the farm but he also had a brief dream of owning a little store.. like a little local farmshop of a kind (he kinda has it on the drawing board still, maybe..... one day he'll invest in it and sell produce from the farm but in a like.. adorable farm-like way.. if u were one to create stuff? maybe sell that too.. hmm...)

favorite kind of weather: overcast! like it's windy and grey, but it's so refreshing

their singing voice: kita's alright, he doesn't do it much, but when he hums in the kitchen, it's actually a religious experience...

what they like to draw/doodle: this is actually a tough one??? like i feel like he likes to do calligraphy. like just on a tiny hobby level, but he likes playing w it!!!

Tendou Satori

songs on the ipod: 99 problems - hugo, numb little bug - em beihold (cant convince me hes not on tiktok all the damn time akjfhjdsfv), joan of arc - little mix!! his taste is very based on mood!!!

a place they sometimes end up falling asleep - where they're not supposed to: his own kitchen.. listen, hes the dude that comes home after a long day and turns on the oven to 100 degrees (celcius), lays on top of the stove and watches tiktoks...and falls asleep FJSFNS (i have a friend who does this regularly its.. concerning lmfao)

the game they'd destroy everyone else at: tekken! and the worst part is that hes not even like. TECHNICALLY good at it. hes just REALLY good at smashing the buttons fast enough to win!! so frustrating

the emoticon they'd use most often: (¬‿¬)... hes always scheming or pretending to be scheming.. just to play w u

what they act like when they haven't had enough sleep: energic.. in like the most manic way possible.. hes so fast and his mind is RUNNING.. exhausting but at some point he tires himself out completely and passes out

preferred hot beverage: hot chocolate! with whipped cream and marshmallows

comfort/self care when in a slump: drawing! or.. doodling.. making little lists and diary-like entries in his "secret" bullet journal (everyone knows abt it.. hes told everyone... showed his pretty pages on insta IOFJSDFNS)

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a dj! he once was at a child's bday party that had like. hired a dj (the dj was said kid's big bro but it looked so official and ProfessionalTM to tendous eyes that he was just. enarmored) he'd play "the sickest beats!"

favorite kind of weather: cold. like. BITING cold, he likes being all wrapped up and walking in it!

their singing voice: he actually sings pretty well but no one knows. he only hums teasing tunes and never really sings in front of anyone

what they like to draw/doodle: ANYTHING and everything! like he has themes in his bujo where he also challenges himself a little - he do like to draw and design cakes

Tanaka Ryounosuke

songs on the ipod: applause - lady gaga, juicy - doja cat and anything beyoncé jfhsjkf. hes a very pop-loving dude.. and if its COOL WOMEN? even better.. some lonely island and that one bromance song from youtube is there as well

a place they sometimes end up falling asleep - where they're not supposed to: this is so embarassing but like. cafés... IHDSJKFDSKC. like he goes there to work or study or whatever to rly motivate him to actually DO IT but then he just. naps on his laptop lmfao

the game they'd destroy everyone else at: counter strike! listen i know very little abt it.. but i feel like he's spent dubious amount of time playing it FSJKFNSE

the emoticon they'd use most often: (⌐■_■) ... it doesnt fit, half the time. but he just think its so fuvkgn cool!!! like "hey babe (⌐■_■) whats for dinner tonight? anything i should buy on the way home? (⌐■_■)" KLEFJSIEFNSRK "hey mom, we're doing fine (⌐■_■)" im choking

what they act like when they haven't had enough sleep: hes so wired.. so sensitive.. he gets in his own head, a lot. have to be reassured a lot, validated.. kissed and loved <3

preferred hot beverage: no one tell noya this... but cafe lattés.. like as he got older he shed a lot of all that fragile and toxic masculinity and so on and hes super aware but like. he and noya had a (somewhat intense) running joke abt cafe lattés in high school and while theyre both moved past that, hes so embarassed abt the fact that he tried one and LOVED it.. like., my dude it is alright <3

comfort/self care when in a slump: cuddles! praise!!!! like he calls u or noya to get praised and reminded how fuckgn awesome he is <3

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a yakuza. listen he once saw a yakuza movie (something like tokyo drifter) and thought that was the coolest shit EVER

favorite kind of weather: summer evenings, like its warm still but its so perfect to sit outside in!!!

their singing voice: listen, if tanaka EVER got singing lessons, he'd sound amazing. but he's never even bothered trying to sing for real, so no one (including himself) knows how much of a gift his voice is <3 he tried rapping once, but he's not fast enough, so he decided music wasn't his path........

what they like to draw/doodle: im so sorry this is so immature but .. dicks.... LKDJKFNV he did it so much in hs that it's sadly become his go-to doodle IOFJESKFS like he doesn't even think abt it anymore thats just what happens if he's on the phone with a pen in hand!!! he always tries to erase the evidence as soon as he realizes IOFJSEF

___

ONCE AGAIN THANKS SO MUCH <3333333 these r so fun oh my goddddd,,, i hope i did them justice!!!

[masked-puppetmaster]

hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

[sukirichi]

ahhhh sukiii i love love love the recent chapter!! as the story slowly unfolds, we can see that both y/n and suna have that connection that cannot be severed that easily. which really made mari jealous but her breaking up with suna before going abroad still has another tale to reveal. especially she knew that lover boy was gonna propose to her. makes me think that’s one of the reasons why she’s brave enough to get back to suna, as she may think that he’s one-hundred percent sure to spend life with her despite her doubts that suna still has lingering feelings of love to y/n. but oh boy, if she only knew 💔

and to our lover boy, sure he and y/n are that it couple that almost everyone ravages about, but this may be my overthinking mind but what if suna, of the present time, only loves y/n because he keeps reminiscing the old times and is hanging on to the 'what if we never broke up?’🧐 that’s why he’s ready to settle with mari because she somehow fills the void y/n left to somewhat satisfaction. is that also why he called y/n to 'see' him because for the second time, an important person disposed him out of their life in which he has no say in it, and this time around, he needed answers from the unsettled question. to assess what went wrong. with that, i rest my case, your honor 😞

but i can’t really blame y/n for putting up boundaries when it comes to romantic relationships. i mean, relationships are scary lol her backstory on her familial issues did do numbers on her. ooh and i can see the familiarity how y/n and her mom handled when another woman is involved in their relationship, her mom telling her dad to go back to his first family to fix what they ruined, and y/n being upset that when suna said that he’ll be fine if he never met mari in the condition that they have never broken up in the first place. it’s not really the reputation or boundaries they’ve put up per se, but the thought that innocent people will be hurt for them to be happy is what makes them reluctant to ever entertain the love that someone will happily give to them.

we haven’t seen any interactions with nagisa and y/n that much from that disastrous night. aside from that, mr. kita though!!👀 i’m excited to see more of them and the roles they will play in the future chapters. meanwhile, i’ll just happily anticipate how the story develops😊

i really love the story suki!! aaaafhksd thank you for allowing us to have a glimpse what that beautiful mind of yours has. don’t forget to take care of yourself either! luv u~😚💕💕

🍳

MY EGG ANON OMG HI YOU’RE BACK PLS I REMEMBER U ALL THE WAY FROM RECKLESS ERA AND YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN SO SWEET OMG HI ASJAKAHAJK

you’re reading broken records too oh my you’re gonna make me sob fr. suna and yn do have a connection that’s special and exclusive only between the two of them !! i think more than the chemistry, they will always have a silent understanding where they’re attuned to one another hehehe. yeah, you see, mari is an annoying character but homegirl knows what’s up. she could detect from miles away that yn wasn’t “just a friend” LMAOOO. ‘she may think that he’s one-hundred percent sure to spend life with her despite her doubts that suna still has lingering feelings of love to y/n. but oh boy, if she only knew’ – BABE this made me laugh ashjaka yeah mari is embarrassing ngl ahsjkala

hmm that theory about suna holding onto the past along with the possibility he only thinks he’s in love because he never really got proper closure. it’s sorta similar to zeigarnik effect bcos there were things suna wanted to do for yn, such as his proposal etc, but he never got to do it. also MMHHHH yes that theory where he’s ready to settle down with mari bcos yn left with him a void that needs to be filled SHAKAASHAK yeah yeah I mean…I’m all down for these ideas tbh. BUT, I can confidently say, that you def got that last part right. the reason why suna called YN in the first chapter when he got dumped by mari was because he was frustrated the same thing happened again. suna was actually more frustrated that both of them didn’t give them a chance to say what he wanted to more than he was ‘hurt’ over the breakup, since it’s already clear suna would’ve been fine if he never met mari as long as he had YN

I love how you got these all little details and pieced them together omg I love u sm

also yeah totally, the boundaries in relationships are necessary !! and again you got it all right like omg you really saw the pieces of the puzzle and formed them coherently together IM CRYING bcos I really did put effort in weaving them together and I’m so happy you understood it <33 it was foreshadowed in the scenes where yn and suna are in the swings when she got mad suna was saying bad stuff about mari because it triggered her trauma of her mom as the ‘mistress.’ like, suna and mari are definitely the couple, so when suna said he’d have been happier with yn while being ready to propose to mari, she definitely hated it. to her, it’s like suna is placing her in the same pedestal as her dad did to her mom. she knows how much it ruined everybody so she never ever wants to be involved in a couple’s relationship.

‘the thought that innocent people will be hurt for them to be happy is what makes them reluctant to ever entertain the love that someone will happily give to them.’ – THIS OMG. YES. 100% YES. that’s why yn is always harsh to herself, because she knows she’s hurt people and she doesn’t want to do that ever again. to her, it doesn’t matter that she may not be happy, as long as she’s not the cause of someone’s demise.

ALSO YES MR KITA URGHH IM IN LOVE WITH HIM EHEHEHE. thank you for taking the time to send this my sweetheart, it really means a lot to me and I’m smiling so hard in my seat rn because I feel like…the messages I’ve been sharing on broken records have been heard and understood. and I’m always so so appreciative of everyone’s support for this so yeah IM SOFT, thank YOU and thank you to everyone else aaaah. please take care of yourself too bb I love you !!

[galaxytale]

not over my ex yet but like at the same time like lol? fuck him. i still love his dumb ass but he rly did treat me like shit while acting like i was the real problem every time i got fed up with being treated like shit, tried to hold him to task for it, failed bcos he refuses to accept that he can be in the wrong abt shit, got frustrated and hurt bcos hed flip the blame back on me, and lashed out.

like. still love his sorry ass cuz hes my fuckin bro and i dont leave homies behind but i am gonna distance myself and live my life further away from him and his new bestieeee uwuwu ((lol what happened to me being ur bestie before we were dating bud?)) ((btw said bestie is toxic as fuck actually as ive come to discover bcos i uhhhh communicate with people and like. talk to ppl regularly instead of just like once in a blue moon)) till he stops being headass and comes to a few of his own senses abt shit and grows the hell up a bit. ((mf you got a few years on me you should know better by now than to be acting like you were/are))

also have a feelin hes gonna end up in a similar circumstance as they pulled w/ me bcos me and his ~new bestie~ pulled that same shit on someone else. so ive gotta stick around to catch his ass when he falls cuz hes gonna fall hard and it aint gonna be pretty. i told his ass i wouldnt leave him and i meant it even if he said that right back to me but tossed me away like rotten dogshit the second things got rough.

like. love this rat bastard but fuck him. seriously. he put me through an immense amount of bullshit and serious damaged my self confidence, ability to trust, my ability to trust my own reality and perceptions, and a lot of other shit. mf even made me doubt my own morals and moral integrity (which as a perfectionist, hypermoral autistic with a lot of guilt issues and a trauma based drive to fix everything i do wrong and never fuck up in a Major Way.... thats fucking kinda earthshattering) and for a while almost had me convinced that i did something i know i never would do because its /literally against one of my most stalwart core moral values/

but im not going to just leave his ass. because even though hes acting like a fucking headass idiot right now i believe in his ability to do and be better. and he may have left me when i needed it most but god. i know hes got a major storm coming in his future and i will be there for him. this storm is probably going to end up being the thing that knocks him off his high horse cuz he wouldnt listen to me before when i was telling him nicely that he needed to get down.

so motherfucker. if you aint gonna fuckin listen to me, go get your ass hurt. ill wait. and ill be here ready to help patch ur dumb ass back up. because i fuckin love you you stupid asshole. and im pissed because youre disappointing me with your fucking behavior.

until then im going to put my fucking energy into healing from what you did to me, and keep an eye on your dumb ass from a distance. and ill come back happier and better than before. and ill be better than you. im going to make myself into a better and more stable person than you. honestly, i already fucking was one. you were the biggest source of my instability and you only exacerbated all of my insecurities i shared with you while claiming you knew how best to deal with things.

im going to be better. not for you. im going to prove myself a better person than i was before and im going prove myself a better person than you. because im fucking disappointed in you for making me think that out of the two of us, somehow i was the worse one.

you may know the words “im sorry.” you may know what an apology is. but you have never used them. you have never tried to improve or change your behavior. you dont get to claim that i somehow “undid” all your work. you never did the work anyway. and id know, because ive known you for 6 years. the only reason youve ‘gotten worse’ is because you found a way to stop feeling like you need to hold yourself accountable.

i may say im sorry too much. but at least i fucking know to use the word. and im trying my best to make sure that i dont stop at only saying it.

[fandomshatepeopleofcolor]

SheRa wary anon. Im an LGBTQ asian I def think this blog has been a voice of reason but some of the anons feel to me like they want it cancelled completely but like I said maybe its just their frustration and im just feeling sensitive bcos im so used to diff sides invalidating parts of my identities so ive been wary of all sides all the time 1/3

To clarify I dont think venting (I think this is the better term?) is wrong I do it a lot but if its a piece of fiction created by minorities it feels like somehow theres grp1) this show is completely unproblematic grp2) fuck this show can we talk about how awful it is! And no in btwn where the criticism to help future rep be better should be 2/3

To me venting is diff from criticism. its airing out our feelings in a way thats more for cathartic effect. Criticism is more for wanting something to be better. Sometimes they can overlap. Anyway im just hoping this is just venting and im just being too wary. There are def times one needs to go off. I feel that need a lot recently in today's climate. Anyway the show could def do better and for any of Noelle's future projects she should hire more qwoc (everyone should) 3/3

There can be a difference between criticism and venting and like you said they can also overlap. Thing is anon the show is over. It can no longer improve on itself. I will say, however, that throughout the years this show has aired I’ve seen these criticisms pop up on my dash. All by fans. All by minorities of different backgrounds

So of course all of this is going to feel like pure venting to you. There is nothing more to improve on now. And some of these asks are probably just people venting, just not all. But since this show is done, what can you criticize that will improve a finished product? All of these criticisms have been said during the making of the show and people just either ignored it or disregarded it. Sure it could work as criticisms for future projects. And honestly if the creators didn’t pick up on all of this criticism by now, they weren’t really paying attention I guess

I think the asks here that were just pure venting did bring up genuine criticisms though. They expressed their distaste for white savior tropes. They’ve expressed how they didn’t appreciate how characters of color were treated. They’ve expressed how they are frustrated with Mara getting whitewashed.

This show brought forth a lot of representation, but to some it wasn’t enough or delivered properly. Unless these anons outright say “I wish this show was cancelled”(which lol, its over what even?) I cant assume they hate the show and want it to burn into ashes and fade out of everyone’s memories

That’s probably one of the more upsetting type of assumptions fans get. “If you say something bad about this medium at all then you are 100% against it”. Usually as a way to shut us down. Already had a few anons assume we are just “complaining” and badmouthing the show.

Anon I don’t think ill of you or the show. The show runners just made some questionable decisions and people want to address it here

~mod n

[hajiiwa]

tagged by @aizawashoutah, @shitabukenjirou, and @foxyena !! thank u guys so much~

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

hajime = haji, iwaizumi = iwa, haji + iwa = hajiiwa~ i love my mans but not many people understand my username 

(the rest will go under the cut!)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

huh, well

FMK technically has the most hits and kudos (something i am a little disgruntled about, seeing as it was not a fic i worked very hard on), only fools has the most comments, kaminari is a schemer has the most bookmarks, and of fountains and flowers has the most subscriptions so idk what to tell you. i wish ofaf had more recognition bcos i’ve worked hard on it rip

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s kuroo!! and i just chose it bc i Love him and it was an icon i made that i sorta liked so

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

yes and i love them all!! seeing names that consistently pop up in my kudos/comments section really warms my heart <33 i’ve made good friends that way tbh

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

uhh there are many that i like to go back and read, mainly by my fav authors that i’m subscribed to

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

bookmarked: 53 subscribed: honestly, i... don’t really subscribe to works? i’m subscribed to 8 authors tho

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

oooh, probably... medieval aus or domestic magic aus? and slice of life

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 80 (rip, i didn’t know if u meant user subs or work subs so i combined and it’s still a tiny number) Bookmarked: 203

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

umm... i don’t think so? 

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

finishing current projects before taking on new ones, avoiding burnout, the usual

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

well i’ll go based on haikyuu since those works take up the majority-- iwaoi is set firmly in first place based on number of works followed by bokuroo, both of which are fairly popular so i’d say that i lean more toward the bigger ships but i also have works for kurooiwa, iwaaka, tengoshi, etc

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

22! that number fluctuates a ton because i’m very impulsive and if a fic doesn’t receive the recognition i feel it deserves/i no longer like it/etc i take it down

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

that i have yet to publish? too many.

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i normally keep them in my head, unless i think they’ll turn into something bigger and then i’ll jot them down!

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yeeet~ @frenchibi have plans to tho. i have tried to co-author in the past but it mever worked out

16. How did you discover AO3?

when i graduated from using wattpad,, fun fact, there is so much smut on there that i legitimately thought ao3 was just used to write porn. i was both horrified and confused

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lol

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

no...? this question assumes that i would be Popular (honestly do fanfic writers even have “fandom names” for their readers?? im)

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

not really, no. i stated writing fanfics when i was really young on my own, unprompted, and i’ve met other authors through that medium that have helped me?

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

interact with other writers! i know it seems daunting, but leave comments, go to spaces where you will find other writers, participate in events-- there are few feelings more satisfying than seeing familiar names pop up, either in your notifications or in a group you’re in. most of the time, they’re all very kind and you won’t regret letting them into your life!

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i plot out almost always, though this sort of bites me in the ass. it bores me when i’m writing to already “know” what’s going to happen and that’s why i lose steam. it’s weird

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

sort of. i write a lot of angst and i’ve gotten quite a few “fuck you author” comments-- most of the time they’re paired with “for making me feel these feelings” or “for writing something so sad” or some shit but i don’t appreciate that bc, like, fuck you too? i’m sorry that you felt the need to cuss me out?? i tag pretty liberally and if you felt that you couldn’t handle the topic i was writing about then you shouldn’t have clicked

unless it’s, like-- a friend or regular going “fffuCK YOU AHHH” which HAS happened and makes me snicker lmao

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

huh. i’m trying to become more proficient in the Big Three (smut, angst, and fluff) and thus far i’ve got one of three down p good. but specific scenes i have trouble writing would have to be scenes in which i have zero experience and pretty much have to improvise-- it helps me grow as a writer, ig, but it’s just frustrating

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

the rest of the writers’ inktober prompts

a fic wars piece with @frenchibi

a post breakup iwaoi

of fountains and flowers final chapter

a handful of voltron fics, 4 of them sheith

alien!iwaizumi

maaaany half-abandoned drafts

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YES AND IT IS TERRIBLE SOMEONE STOP ME

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

nah. motivation is fickle and i don’t want to make writing a chore. writer’s inktober was hard enough (it’s december and i am still not done :,)

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

considering i started on wattpad, yes lmao. i’d like to think that i have since i’ve been on ao3 but hahjajhjkh

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i reeeeally liked writing a bit of magic is key and three’s a crowd because they were both humorous domestic magic aus~ but i’ve liked most things i’ve written tbh. also, obviously, of fountains and flowers.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

that i’ve posted? i honestly don’t know. maybe you can be so stupid sometimes because i was just starting to write iwaoi and i now hate the way i portrayed them, not to mention that this dumb little fic has more kudos than my recent stuff and i just *clenches fist* don’t think it deserves that

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

not sure. maybe i’ll have ofaf finished by then hahah,, but really i don’t know. writing is a tool but fanfic writing is just a hobby

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

i’m pretty good at writing emotionally charged situations. also dialogue, i find banter or long back-and-forth conversations fairly easy

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

transitions, justification of characters’ actions. the hardest thing writing-related would be fighting through envy and feelings of inadequacy but i experience the former plenty anyway rip

33. Why do you write?

i write because i enjoy it-- i love creating my own worlds, interacting with other writers, living vicariously through my characters

well, that was fun! i’ll tag @frenchibi, @astersandstuffs, @minyardxva, @josai

[earthling555]

i really like this girl and i feel so mugged off bcos she started being all flirty n lovely n everything but suddenly it just stopped and im here just feeling everything for her when she's not bothered by me at all

dude i feel this i’m going through the exact same thing ughhhh what’s been getting me through is listening to a lot of “fuck you” songs, ranting to my friends abt how frustrating she’s being, & reminding myself i’m hot shit & that it’s not my fault she can’t see that lol (remember ur literally incredible and if she wants to waste her time playing games then fuck her you deserve better!!) – best of luck to you my friend, lemme know how things go 🌹

[adhdhelpforme]

things -zoning in and out and getting beginning and ends and in-betweens of conversations but never the full thing, but feeling awful for asking again bcos it seems like im not listening ALL THE TIME -opening a door ‘why did i come in here’ goes back to where i was before ‘oh thats what i needed to do in there’ goes back to the door ’..wait. why am i in here again?’ goes back. ’…’ ‘oH!’ -the same as above with everything i do like opening an app to search for something and forgetting what it was or opening whatsapp to send someone a message and forget who and what i was going to send or opening a book and wondering why i had the book in the first place -specifically being taught about something seconds before being asked a question about said thing, realising i havent taken any of it in and look stupid bcos its simple or i like dont pay attention or dont care or whatever -reading a book and realising for the past few minutes i havent taken any of it in and have no idea what on earth is going on who is this cassandra character -starting a task and realise ive been staring into oblivion for the past 5 minutes. then telling myself ‘cmon!! start!!’ and just sorta zoning out again for ages, and after an hour im still there distracted by whatever it is that my brain finds so interesting for me not to focus on this simple task that i need to do -being in class and wanting to at least try and focus on what i need to do but there are so many distractions that i can barely think straight, background noise of a classroom being one thing but people on my table talking excessively about nonsense is really frustrating bcos i cant block them out bcos i get so distracted by them -hyperfocusing in my dance class so much that during my dances i forget to breathe lol -not being able to sleep at a reasonable time ever bcos my brain is constantly thinking about everything all the time -interrupting people and saying stupid things that i dont think about bcos of impulsivity and regretting it for the next 7 years -being in a conversation and coming up with something you really REALLY want to talk about but the other person is still talking and you cant interrupt again that would make you look bad again so you hold the thing you want to talk about in your head but bcos you know youll forget what you want to say unless you focus on it you put all your effort into remembering the thing you wanted to say and not hearing a word of what the person talking is saying so /once again/ looking like you were just ignoring them/not listening -wanting to run around and jump and speed away everywhere and yell -MISSPLACING EVERYTHING. GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS MISSING. -i jus thought of a point but i cant remember it bcos i remembered another one dammit -getting bursts of energy at WEIRD times like midnight -fidget fidget plays piano on desk bounces leg stop fidgeting be more subtle runs hands constantly through hair stop fidgeting puts all energy into not fidgeting -NAPS -rejection. sensitive. dysphoria. -^^ ultimate pain!!! lasts for months sometimes!!! its like its rooted deep within you and feels unbearable!!! and i get it in shorter (not several month long) episodes when people do small things that make me feel rejected -not sure how to talk about my emotions or feelings or anything with a lot of people. when i do im very vague bcos i don’t know how to talk about it. makes me kind of uncomfortable in a way?? but also i just dont know how to like coherently -kinda like the above point but with like physical illness i just dont know how to describe anything im feeling its like, i know im ill, i just dont know how?? -‘you did well, but you could have done better’ an all too familiar phrase -cant follow basic instructions. never have been able to -ive asked people questions and because of my innatention is so ridiculous i dont ‘hear’ them answer and so i spend a good 5 minutes trying so hard to remember whether i actually asked the question or not or whether i just zoned completely. i then end up asking the question again, but sayinf 'did i already ask this’ to which they reply 'yeah i just answered you’ and im like ffs why am i like this -forgetting peoples names and feeling like a terrible person for not knowing whilst everyone else knows their name and finding a way to get their attention without saying their name bcos you dont wanna hurt their feelings -more stuff i cant remember that ill probably add

[survivormoheli]

Episode Twelve - “Phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things” - Tara

Tara

i'm genuinely rly sad about richie leaving. i wish i put in more effort to talk to him n b friends w him bcos he has such a fun character. what stopped me was i knew he thought i was a leaker and i just thought he wouldn't of wanted to b friends w me but i should've tried to make him want 2 b friends w me anyway lol i'm sorry richie u deserve better

Blake

HOLY MOTHER OF GARBAGE WE PULLED THAT OFF! LYNN AND TARA SAVED MY ASS TONGIHT! GIVING ERIC FAKE PROMISES FOR THE FUTURE! OMG IM SOO HAPPY WOW I HONESTLY THOUGHT MY BUTT WAS GOIN HOME OMG! WOWOWO ERIC WANTED ME OUT. goodluck phoenix and tim AND ERIC >:0 FINAL THREE ME LYNN AND TARA

Blake

o and i was scared earlier bc eric was talkin to lynn about gettin me voted out but lynn finessed the shit out of him! and then i was scared shitless bc raffy omg he does not enjoy me at all lmao! inhope me and him can make up after this game!

Blake

Lynn: My love. My sunshine. My better half. I will see you soon <3 You better win this effing game! Show everyone you are a threat. I love you and we were together from the beginning now finish this without me! Tara: OOOO Tara they have done me dirty! Fight in my memory! CONQUER THIS LAND <3 Fight like I know you can! I am going to miss you too though! This game better end soon lol Eric: OOOOOOO ERIC if im going home you must’ve flipped…. RIP. GREAT MOVE THOUGH I respect your gameplay from turning yourself into a threat instead of continuing to be a goat! Richie: I still think you’re a threat! I wish you the best of luck (you are going to need it bc look at all the amazing players left)! Pull some big moves make me love you! Give me more than humor I wanna see you kill and stab ahha! Phoenix: Where are you? Big move maybe? You planning to ride Richie to the end? Tim: Well played you got two big threats out simultaneously from flipping! Taking something from my book I see? LOL (I’m not being sarcastic btw) Everyone: OK ANYONE OF YOU CAN WIN THIS GAME! PULL SOME BIG MOVES, BLINDSIDE SOME PEOPLE, AND DON’T LET THIS GAME’S SNAKINESS DIE OUT! EVERYONE PLAY TILL THE VERY END TO WIN! THINK ABOUT WHO YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN AGASINT. MAKE SOME HUGE MOVES! IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO DO!

(what i wud of said if i went home tonight at the F7 tribal)

Eric K

That was a stressful lead up to tribal. Richie was really trying to convince me to flip but it just didn't feel right. Why would il allign myself with people I've barely talked to and just trust that I'm not on the bottom? Of course I realize that Blake is a huge threat and needs to go before f3 or he will be the winner. I had a good chat with Tara and Lynn separately and we all agree that he needs to go. Hopefully it'll happen in two tribals from now since he has an advantage/immunity that can only be used at next tribal.

Tim

So Raffy and JG voted for me? They really think I was playing some middle when in reality I was just being social and going into survival mode. Like Raffy I didn't even vote for you to go home so fuck off and JG you went home because of the blind round and you dont even have any proof that I voted for you so bye!

Blake

Hi yes Goodmorning. I woke up from my peacefull slumber and was INTERROGATED! TIM i guess was like ima ask who Blake wants  int the F3 and i was shook bc none o my allies were awake or off doing something to help me formulate a response... AND WELLL PEOPLES BLAKE IS NOT THE BEST AT JUST NOT RESPONDING OR GIVING A GOOD RESPONSE! TIM asked if i was takin tara and lynn to F3 or Tara and Eric (really cnfused bc i thought i was obvi i was takin lynn not matter what?) SO ME BEING THE GENIUS THAT I AM AND NOT REFUSING T RESPOND SAID "  Well i want to win so I wanan go with ppl who I think I can win against" in all honesty im scared if i said someting with names eric might freak or some shiz! bc i am taking tara and lynn. i know i could of lied and said im takin lynn and eric but that just sounds rude. you know taking? lol. oooo WELL NOW TIMMY IS PLEADING HIS CASE WITH ME. I REALY LIKE TIM TBH. PHOENIX IS THE ONLY PERSON HERE WHOO DOES NOT TALK TO ME OR TRY TO AT ALL ITS REALLY RUDE. BUT OMG THIS IS THE LORDS DAY AND IM FEELING ATTACKED

Blake

The lords day is Timmy's day today

Blake

I just had i thought. I think the winner of this game will either be more or whoever takes me out. (TIM) STAY AWAY. maybe it wont even be me and i think to highly of myself XD

Tim

The longevity of my game relies on these immunity results. If I win, I fight on to another round. If I lose then... well looks like I can't afford to lose.

Blake

OBVIOUSLY MY ASS HOLE IS GOING NEXT ! SOOOOOOOO WOW I HATE EVERYTHING AND NOT KNOWING WHAT THIS ADV WAS

Lynn

OHMYGODSHAHSBSB i feel like this vote is gonna go to rocks and that is gonna be rocks between 3 people and odds are not in my favor ajsjdn i have awful luck ohhhhh my god okay well honestly going out by rocks isn’t the worst way to go 

Blake

OMFG ok im like 99% sure that i am safe! bc i think tara and lynn will vote for tim! all we hav to do is get phoenix to flip! omg this is stressfull i hate i hate! WHY AM I BEING TARGTED ALL THE TIM OMG AHHHH! ERIC IM COMING AFTER UR ASSHOLE U BETTER WATCH OUT BUD U BETTER KEEP WIINNING OR U R GOING HOME!

Tara

omg so just got back from hanging out w phoenix n had a bunch of fun! we watched love simon and i had to try not to cry like 5 times, happy tears tho. also ijust remembered like a couple rounds ago i said that i would get phoenix to buy me ice cream and he offered but i said no!! and now i realised it ruined my whole thing n yikes! i guess the offer counts? and he also bought me m'n'ms which i am eating now n they r delicious. also phoenix i just want u to know u that  i don't think of u just as an object to buy me things HAHHAHA fbdksf i REALLY ENJOYED HANGING OUT WITH YOU!!! and i hope we do it again sometime soon!!!!! sorry for forgetting u're lactose intolerant like twice. but ya phoenix was super fun. hopefully this is the start of a new alliance!! i think this round i'm going to vote tim bcos i feel like it'll make f5 a lot more cruisier and less stressful for me than having to rely on lynn not flipping on me or anyone else not flipping on me. hopefully eric can win immunity again so we can vote out blake. it was rly weird talking about game with someone face to face? and like planning about it and stuff. idk thank u phoenix for the fun day out!! also I MADE F5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe i did that!!!!!!!!!!!!! woooh!!!

Eric K

I am so happy that I won two immunity challenges at once!! I chose the advantage hoping that this would be a good chance to take out Blake. Since I talked to Tara and Lynn about eventually cutting Blake out, I think this would be a good opportunity. I just hope he does not have some sort of advantage to screw this up...

Tim

So I lost the challenge and I'm not dissapointed in myself, Im just unhappy that I couldn't win the challenge when I most needed to. And now I'm in jeopardy.

Tim

So Eric pretty much nominated me and Blake up for elimination which sucks harddd. I guess I have new hope in the game. It sucks that he didn't just do Blake and Phoenix but I guess he considers us his biggest competition to win. 

Tim

So Ive been heavily campaigning to Tara and Eric but who knows how this will turn out. Hopefully Eric just lets me go to rocks.

Eric K

I am very frustrated that Tara is not willing to go for Blake. The things she's saying are making me think that she would rather keep Blake long term and is potentially just using me... Even with me voting Blake, the numbers wouldn't be there and I would be outing myself early on. I guess I just have to keep on winning immunity challenges and hope I am not being played.

Tara

omggg so the most awkward thign happened i tried to call tim bcos i felt rly bad that we hadn't talked all season and i genuinely rly like him n i just wanted to chat but he turned it into a plea session, idk why i didn't expect that, n then i just like waited it out until he stopped fkdfs and then he started talking 2 me about his day so yay but then he was like ok i'll go grab some food and i was like ok seeya tim sorry about everyhting n he was like so you are voting me? and i was like yaa i'm sorry and then it just got rly awkward and silent and he was just looking at his computer screen like looking like he was about to cry and it wasl ike FIFTEEN WHOLE SECONDS of like silence and oh my god. i am an awful person. i love u tim. i'm glad i voted him out bcos i don't rly trust eric all that much but it forces him to work w me now so he can vote out blake n lynn n then  i can hopefully take phoenix to f2 or convince eric to take me to f2. yayayyyay can u believe i'm here and i have a PLAN go me

[wongshuhui]

Thriller rants

URHGHGHGH!! 

just read the synopsis of the woman in the window and im just so frustrated. don’t get me wrong, im not judging a book by its cover (lol how ironic tho) but just the summary of this book is enough to make me not wanna read it.

if i had a choice to only read from a selective few authors in my life, they would hands down be jk rowling, dan brown and murakami. yes, all the big names. and yes, they’re all SO GOOD. dan brown has a few hits and misses and how many times can i reread harry potter right?? i can’t possibly be reading murakami 24/7 lol i don’t wanna die by jabbing myself in the eye when i can’t deal with the pounding in my head from his deep and (forever!!) unexplainable thoughts. so i turn to thrillers. i hate cheesy romance novels not my thing.

back to the true topic at hand, all the lame thriller writers are just blatantly copying off each others’ story lines without feeling abashed?? the woman in the window = the girl on the train?

it appears thriller books all consists of a pathetic and inadequate female drunkard that witnesses a murder but with either 1) no recollection, due to fuzzy memories (bcos they’ve been busy pumping back those jugs of alcohol duh) or 2) too afraid to voice out 

hello??? where are all my strong and passionate and determined women at???? 

then again, it’s probably really difficult to write something that keeps you on your toes if the protagonist isn’t such a failure in life bcos it keeps!! things!! interesting!!

*drum roll* 

*eye roll*

Xx

[sukirichi]

UHMMMM DID SAY BROKEN RECORDS IS ENDING IN CH10 ?????? d-d-does that mean its gonna have a sad ending becoz ((eng is my 2nd language) what if mari rlly is pregnant with sunas baby .. suna will def have to marry her and forget us, its so complicated but u can tell its not easy for suna aswell. 😬😬😬

theres also alot of goimg on, like the thing about y/ns mom ahhsgs, i feel so bad for kita LOL but thx thx, i just wanna throw mari off the balcony & nagisaaaa kdsjhss i think why shes being like this is because of her pent-up rage n confusion from when she was a kid .. lol kskxjjs i think i rem reading one of ur asks that nagisa is gonna team-up with mari😭😭😭 im looking forward to the new chap!! pls take a rest and hope ur healthy!!

- i think some here are worded wrong xd srry

yep, one more chapter and the series is done !! hmm as for the sad ending, i can’t say anything about that yet bcos i don’t want to spoil. and yeah suna is struggling just as much here, he’s going back and forth to unhealthy relationships. also yes, nagisa has a lot pent up frustration and issues that she never got to deal with properly, so that hatred embodies her and she lashes out on her poor sister 😭 and thank you so much for this anon, i hope you enjoy track 009 !! or not. it’s not really a fluffy chapter 💔 please take care of yourself too, anon !! <33