#bc when I sent that first message I was like
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haiiii i really like your writing and i was wondering if i could request a fic for the batfam and a he/they reader who has chronic pain and is going through a pretty not fun flare up and feels bad bc they haven't been able to patrol or help the others for a while, and can you make it really comforting
-🔆🦈(so i can find this later)
Hi sweetie, thank you for this request! I tried my best for it to be a gentle and comforting short oneshot.
This is my first platonic!batfamilly story, it was really fun to write. Hope you'll enjoy too!
FRIENDS ARE THE BEST PAINKILLERS (GN!reader x platonic!batfamilly)
Warnings: no proof reading, chronically ill!reader, reader!vigilante, mentions of pain, self pity and guilt, fluff and comfort
You wish the pain would go away now.
You wish your body and mind would work together, instead of fighting each other. Weren’t they supposed to play on the same team?
Speaking of a team, you were watching the news. The Batfamily was all out tonight as some villains escaped Arkham. You were worried about them. You knew they were well trained people, but anything could happen to them.
And more than anything you were feeling guilty because you couldn't help them for another emergency. You were supposed to be one of them, you were supposed to be a vigilante too, and yet you couldn’t count how many patrols you skipped by then.
You hated yourself for not being able to help. You couldn’t wait for the chronic pain to go away so you would be back on the field. You promised yourself you would work twice as hard to compensate. Yeah, you needed to prove to everyone that you were still worth it, that you were still part of the team.
You kept watching the news, your eyes glued to your phone.
You breathed a sigh of relief when the Batfamily brought everyone back to Arkham after a couple of hours.
You were proud of your people. You knew they were the best, and once again they showed it.
Without thinking about it, you opened the group chat you had with them. You hadn’t sent messages in there for days now, too ashamed to reply. You wanted them to forget about you. But at the same time you missed your friends.
“Hey guys, great job tonight! Hopefully I'll be by your side next time you'll need help” you sent while biting on your lips.
You were such a loser, you thought. They clearly didn't need your help. You were about to put your phone down when you received a notification from Dick
“That would be great! We've been missing you. And you're truly the only one who appreciate my jokes here” you smiled as you read the messages
“Where have you been?” Jason asked you as he was away with Artemis and Bizarro when your illness had resurfaced again
“Home. Chronic pain and all. Life sucks” you replied
“It's okay, don't beat yourself up and come back when you'll be ready” Bruce sent you and you had to admit you had to read over and over again his message, feeling giddy.
Batman wasn't often messaging you, especially such encouraging words. You felt warmth blossoming inside your chest.
“Thanks a lot” you could only typed away
“You hungry? We were about to go to Batburgers. We could eat over at your place if you're not too tired?” Stephanie offered and it made you smile even more.
“I'd love that” you instantly replied
You told them what you would like and then waited for them.
You slowly but surely clean up a little bit around even if it wasn't something they wouldn't have seen at their own place before. But you wanted them to feel good in your home, like you were feeling good around them.
A few instants later, you heard laughter echoing in your building corridors and you went to open the door. It was smelling fried food and it was also bringing you quite a lot of comfort. It might be a better night than you anticipated.
When you saw them, you felt so grateful to have them.
Cassandra was the first one to reach for you and she gently hugged you, careful not to hurt you. You hugged her back before greeting everyone else. They all softly hugged you or embraced your shoulders. You leaned down to peck at Barbara’s cheek as she also came. The only one missing was Bruce but you didn’t really think he would be part of the improvised party.
Tim, Jason and Damian started to gather seats around your table that was way too small for that many people, but as always, you all found a way to make room for everyone.
Soon enough you were eating fries and chuckling at Jason's annoying remarks thrown at Dick. Barbara made a sarcastic comment about Tim who huffed and turned towards you.
“You’re gonna let her talk to me like that under your roof?” He asked you and you tried not to smile at that
“Yeah, no. Barbara, please stop. Can't you attack someone of your size for once?” you said to which Jason and Stephanie loudly laughed as Damian grinned
“Hey, Y/N” Tim huffed, faking offense “I thought you were on my side”
“Oh no, I'm always on the side of the strongest” you shrugged “And Babs can too easily kick my ass or fry my phone, so yeah sticking by her side” you replied
“Smart move” Barbara hummed in approval
You continued to chat around, realising that for once the pain was bearable. Maybe it was because you were surrounded by people who loved you and made you happy. Cassandra put a hand on yours so your attention would be on her.
“You good?” She signed to you and you shrugged
“Right now yes, but this was truly a bad flare up and I don’t see the end of it” you admitted
“I'm sorry about that. We should have come over sooner” she said and you shook your head
“You guys are busy, it's okay” you smiled
“L/N have you eaten enough lately? You seem like you haven't got all your much needed nutritions" Damian's voice interrupted your discussion with Cassandra.
You arched an eyebrow at that, surprised the grumpy boy seemed to care about you.
“Oh well, it's true I haven't been the best with food lately” you sheepishly admitted and Stephanie gently stroked your arm to comfort you. “But it's okay” you quickly added as everyone’s attention was now on you, and it was making you feel a little bit shy.
“Of course it is not. A warrior needs food to properly function. I will ask Alfred to cook for you and to send you the meals” Damian said and you had to admit you were half embarrassed, half exploding with joy to be under everyone's care.
“You don't have to bother him for me” you tried to refuse but Damian tutted you
“Nonsense”
“Good idea, Dami!” Dick nodded “it's true you need food and we'll deliver it to you so we'll be sure you'll eat it all” he added
“I take the first delivery” Jason said and instantly everyone started to argue over it.
You leaned onto your seat and smiled to yourself.
Life wasn’t that bad after all.
--
Taglist for all my work <3
@blublock404
@wind-canoe
@silverklaus
@couldeatthatgirlforlunch
@tatsuri-zomushiki
@navs-bhat
@randomnamedmira
@winterhi09
@murkyponds
@qardasngan
#🔆🦈#batfamily x reader#batfamily x you#batfamily x y/n#batfamily x gn!reader#batfamily oneshot#platonic!batfamily#bruce wayne x reader#batfam x reader#cassandra cain x reader#duke thomas x reader#dick grayson x reader#damian wayne x reader#barbara gordon x reader#jason todd x reader#stephanie brown x reader#tim drake x reader
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Anyway asshole sneezed yesterday while I was driving and I nearly wrecked my car lmao
#snz kink#and he did it more than once too like excuse you#might as well have whipped his dick out smh#i didn't actually almost wreck tho I'm just being dramatic lmao#thank god he didn't bring up the fact that it's a kink again tho bc i might’ve fr wrecked ahdkalsk#but i was like 'don't do that I'm driving 😒' and he sarcastically apologized#to his credit he did try to stifle when he did it again but that was worse bc i felt bad lmao#'well don't do *that*' and then he snorted and rolled his eyes and was like 'there's no winning with you'#god he's so great to converse with even when we're playfully bickering lmao fuck#still crazy to me that I've never been into a cishet man before in my life and always thought I'd end up with a woman#just for the first person I've ever dated to be not only a cishet man#but also my fucking coworker after i said i would never date a coworker#hate this for me but also 🥰#also now I'm extra feeling some type of way about the fact that he sent me those voice messages while he was sick#like damn maybe that did do something to me ahdkkala#maybe I should listen to them again just to see 👀#nah I'm not actually gonna do that lmao I'd feel weird if i did#anyway rip to y'all who followed me for snz lmao this is basically just a simp blog these days#oh well it's my blog lmao#partner posting
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man i love trying making plans with a friend and 1) they forget or 2) they answer my request to shift the plans slightly after the time we made plans for /s
#context: we start school at 1 pm tomorrow (which is super rare) and so originally we'd planned for me to come over to their house and do a#sleep over except that the thought of doing a sleepover the day before school freaks my neurospicy brain out too much#so I sent them a message last night like “i'm really sorry but i'm not comfortable with doing a sleepover but yk i still want to come over!#they answered: “loool” “oki tbf i forgot 😭🙏"#“and yea idk I didn't do my homework yet.. im thinking maybe we can just call during the day and do stuff?”#“you can come over also”#“but i will be crusty and ill wake up at like 12 😭”#they sent that at like midnight and it's 5 pm and they still haven't answered my reply or even seen it and i really like them but I would#love a way of contacting them where I don't get ghosted for an entire day especially when they were the one who wanted to do something#together in the first place and now they're just off the internet and it's 5pm and i know they're practically nocturnal but they know i hav#parental controls and can't really call after like 6-7pm and AAARGH WHY DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM THEY DRIVE ME NUTS SOMETIMES#rant#personal rant#no tags leave me alone#<i know there *are* tags lol but that's become my “personal post” tag lmao#also using this account bc they have my main although i don't think they're super active on here
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saw a starfish on the beach today & was absolutely ENAMOURED - literally 3 of us were just squatting over this tide pool watching him move
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#stream#omg i just remembered i was the last 1 to change / shower & i had just walked back from the cold ass shower thing to rinse off the salt &#punya came over & he was like ‘brother …’ & i was like what ? & he went 😏🫴#& i asked what do u want me to give u ?? ‘a cigarette u motherfucker’ ‘u know what i would love 1 TOO bitch but GUESS who smoked them ALL b#it WASNT ME !!!’ 😭😭😭😭 AKSJAKSKAKSKKSKSKAKSLSKSL#& NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE A VAPE BC OF THE FREAK BRIT THAT JUST WALKED OFF W IT#i’m still not upset abt it i’m more so just bewildered ? just shocked ? like i didn’t even care to try to get it back i was just like ok ?#i’m still shocked by it bc it’s just so#COMICAL ? LIKE ??? 😭😭😭😭 did neither of us speak english like 2 entirely different messages weren’t sent#LIKE ITS NOT A DISPOSABLE THIS IS A RECHARGABLE REFILLABLE VAPE#it was just 20£ & getting 2 disposables are also 20£ from the off license & i used literally like 80 ? 100ml ? in it ? so saved money#regardless but i did buy a pack of pods but 1 of the 3 that i used didn’t end up working & that was the third on it excluding the original#battery & those are 10£/pack so 30£ overall for what would equivalently be like idk probably around 10 of those 5k off license vapes which#would yea be 120quid so including the price of the vials themselves it’s 3-for-10£ used 5#so that’s 50£ bs 120£ even w the cost of a new device say + 30 that’s still only 3/4 of the price of what it would be using dispos which ar#cheaper than cigarettes REGARLESS#even the 30/120 that’s still u know literally a quarter of the cost it’s just a bigger upfront cost but it’s significantly cheaper long ter#STILL SAVING MONEY …. i say as if addiction isn’t inherently a waste of money but u see to that argument i budget it like food bc that’s ho#addiction works it’s just going to continue & ur going to include it in the budget as if it’s a PHYSICAL NECESSITY TO LIVE#to be fair sometimes it is lol like bro i couldn’t stop drinking w/o being in a hospital bc alcohol withdrawls can literally kill u#like my blood pressure was over 180 at 1 point when i was detoxing in hospital 😭😭😭😭😭#SCREAM#anyway#forget that#happy new year 2024.5 😍😍😍#my new year starts now fuck u the first half was just warm up#could i stop smoking if i wanted to ? yes ! will i ? absolutely fucking not !#IM ALLOWED THIS AS A TREAT#THAT I INHALE LIKE OXYGEN: CONSTANTLY
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tried sending a cute animal to my friends and tumblr sent a different post in its place. fuck me 😭😭😭😭
#i literally pressed send on a completely different post then after it sent it jumped down to the post it ACTUALLY sent#mortifying 😭😭😭😭😭#bunny rambles#now im scared ive sent ppl random posts w/o knowing when ive tried sending cute things instead )': ahhhhh#and the post ofc was posting on transmisogyny so like. a very different vibe than A CUTE LITTLE HYENA SMILING 😭#it was only 4 ppl it did this with and i Immediately checked bc usually my messages error out first instead of sending but. thatss way more#upsetting shckshhslfjsksbdhskdh
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Help me I have problems
#seasonal depression especially but hear me out#it has been. two. days#QB has been out of town for two days.#i missed him on night 1. i hate it#i don’t like feeling dependent but everything I did felt boring in the scope of#’i wish i was talking to qb rn’#the fucked up thing is that both yesterday and today we have talked#via text#but that was while the sun was still up or up-ish.#the sun went down and I went crazy#as usual#suddenly everything is boring and my thoughts are too loud#and all I can focus on are all the ways I may have fucked up or been too passionate or annoying#too much of something or not enough of something else#finally I sent#‘at the risk of sounding weird; socially inept; or clingy. things are a lot more boring when you’re not around#WHY DO I HAVE TO ADD A DISCLAIMER TO SEND MESSAGES TO PEOPLE#so after thinking for like 10 minutes I deleted the first part and left the intention- not the warning.#bc a thought corssed my mind asking if I would find it weird if QB or some other friend said that to me#and no i would love it. 10/10 compliment.#and if he were to say ‘same’ i’d be thrilled tbh#so what kind of message am I sending (pun unintended) if I call that statement weird clingy or socially inept?#it’s unhelpful for me#sometimes harmful#and I don’t want to make my friends more anxious than they already are.
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Yes, society runs on the kindness of seemingly uncompensated labor. But I promise, if you stick around and stick with it- you will be compensated with the most fulfilling and meaningful life. With the richness of empathic regeneration. It will go beyond thank you. Beyond hugs and friendship and even love. Being kind to each other is the whole point. The sum of the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts.
Voluntary kindness is EVERYTHING. Today I shared kisses (the chocolate kind) with a few ladies at school.... then a very kind lady with pink hair gave me an ice cream sandwich (she didn't charge me anything :'3 which was a surprise)... and then ANOTHER kind lady came into THAT kind lady's shop just to gift her sweet grapes that she mentioned she grew out of her backyard!!! Then guess what???
The cycle continues!!!!! And we're all so grateful and smiling. We're all so much happier than we would've been just buying these things because we had to for ourselves. Everything tastes better when they're coming from someone who thinks of you and cares. I love people.
I'm hopeful for dream weavers making this happen. College students voluntarily sharing pages of textbooks and lab manuals. Kids voluntarily sharing their toys. Strangers sharing benches and holding doors open for each other. It's all in the spirit of KINDNESS. I'm so proud of the camaraderie I've seen within society and to be a part of it. I'm proud of whoever is reading this for all the nice things they've done on earth too. It might seem unnoticed or uncompensated for now but hold onto this vision. It's a positive feedback loop. It's symbiosis. It's mutual aid. It's humanity! I'm so grateful to play a part.
#i mean this in the most non overexploitative and sincere way#people are good#thank you to the kind person who sent me $ 'for treats' today :')#i thought it would be bad to share what good i received but... it ended up working out exponentially well#i hope that kind person somehow received their kindness back#if they haven't yet then i know they will#<3 i gotta message ppl back ikik btw!!!!!!!!!!!#gotta finish important stuff first and hopefully by the time I'm done... well... i may need to sleep by then#but this post is what's most important and i hope all the ppl waiting for a reply read this#when i tell ppl ty for talking to me or messaging me i mean it so much#it is so incredibly kind to send a friendly message and it feels good to receive#moreso on difficult days when i wake up uncertain that kindness is rly the point of it all#it is#i know this#(don't ask how)#i'm holding onto that vision#tightly and desperately#like it's my final hope bc it truly is#so grateful to play a part WITH YOU ALL!!!!! WITH YOU!!!!!#we're in this together
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s. s ave me, meoto…
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..
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I have a Mighty Need for your First Time for Everything continuation.
You and me both, Poni! (there would be a crying laughing emoji here if I was on mobile)
I made like barely any headway yesterday on part 3, but I'm still trying to juggle not sleeping well with work + school, so unfortunately fun things like writing and hopefully soon drawing are taking a backseat for the time being.
Kind of.
I'm still making time for it, but I also can't afford to like... dedicate as much time as I'd want to solely to writing fun stuff. The inspiration is there beneath all the extra shit, it's just hard to say 'Alright here's my hour or two of writing time!' when I'm exhausted and frankly too brain-dead to think and write cohesively.
Plus, I've been chronically online for a long, long time and I'm kinda trying to shift that this year because being online for too long (especially in a community like this) isn't healthy for me personally. I just tend to get sucked in and spend hours doing absolutely nothing productive or even relaxing or fun. It's purely doomscrolling.
Anyway, TL;DR: Part 3 is in the works but I have no definite date, nor will I have one until I can settle a lot of stuff outside of this space. It's super nice to know that someone's looking forward to it though! :3
#greyrambles;#greyanswers;#tbh if it weren't for this fic and the small community of chill people i like on here i'd... probably delete this blog#it's kinda hard to like feel i belong anywhere online these days when it comes to bigger groups of people#like jack/septiceye posted a video today talking about how being on the internet feels SO anxiety inducing now-a-days#and it struck a chord with me bc that's how i feel when i log onto here#who unfollowed me who blocked me who sent me a shitty message and tbh?#i don't need that in my life#it's why i deleted MOST of my other social medias in the first place#some people weren't meant to be so overloaded with information and contact and shit#it just drains me#BUT#There are parts i would miss deeply like getting to connect with people who also like stuff i enjoy too!#and the fire prompts/takes#so it's like i'm /here/ but my time is limited for my own health#which should and is always going to take priority over any content i may make :3
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technology is trying to gaslight me tonight i swear to fuck
#first patreon had this weird glitch that's still happening#where a post i made wouldn't show up on my page but it showed up for others and also everywhere EXCEPT my main page#it was in the drafts and the manage recent posts section and the collections but NOT the main home page *for m e*#and me alone it seemed#tried to fix it and only made things Worse somehow#then. my pc decided to set the clock back by three hours? at seemingly random???#tumblr isn't letting me like posts and any messages sent or received on here disappear or don't show up at all on my end#while typing this up it wouldn't autosave and then it wouldn't post#and at least for tumblr it usually only does that when i've been force logged out without it actually kicking me off until i refresh#so i refreshed the page to see if it would force me to log in again#but??? i was still logged in so i was like okay i'll just log out and log in again maybe that'll help#nope!! still acting funky!!#third time typing this post up bc of it!!
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i cleaned my inbox out the other day (like 2k messages 💀) but. i think it broke my inbox. i can see messages on my notifs page but it won't let me get to them in my inbox. so. not sure... how to fix that......
#when i was cleaning it out i had to refresh it a few times bc it wasnt properly loading everything#and i had to keep combing back thru to catch all the messages bc it was skipping over them the first time#and now i dont know. what's happening#and yes i never delete messages i feel bad...... i still saved a whole bunch too except i screenshotted them into a folder#lmfao. mental eelness...#or i guess maybe someone sent me messages and then immediately blocked me in which case this is embarrassing for me#but it even shows them in like. the number. i had exactly 75 after i finished wiping them and now it says i have 78#but i cant see the 3 new ones. only the notifs on my notes page & even clicking thru to them from there doesn't show them
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i’m sooooooooo stressed about a message i just sent but i am glad i sent it bc if i hadn’t i would’ve spent the rest of however long thinking about sending it and i don’t like that at all but also my heart is literally pounding in my chest what if he hates me and doesn’t want to be friends anymore…………………
#I DONT LIKE BREACHING THE COWORKER VS FRIEND BOUNDARY BECAUSE MY BOUNDARIES ARE SO THIN BUT I AM ALWAYS TERRIFIED OF PUSHING SOMEONE ELSE#TOO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO THIS GUY AND I SPENT SO LONG BITCHING TOGETHER SATURDAY NIGHT AT A PARTY AND HE SMOKED MANY OF MY CIGARETTES#SO HOW MUCH CAN HE REALLY HATE ME#I AM SO FULL OF ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO SCARY IVE GOT MY PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHEN HE REPLIES#HORRIFYING. TERRIFYING. I WISH I HAD SENT A MESSAGE TO HIM BACK IN FUCKING JULY THE FIRST TIME I WANTED TO SEND A MESSAGE TO HIM.#HORRIBLE HORRIBLE STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#IF I FUCK THIS UP THEN I DO ACTUALLY FUCK THINGS UP QUITE SEVERELY BC HE IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE I MOST ENJOY HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH JUST#IN GENERAL. BUT ALSO. I KNOW HE LIKES HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH ME AS WELL SO IT SHOULDNT FUCK IT UP TOO MUCH#BUT WHAT IF IT DOESSSSSSSSDD#AND THEN I HAVE TO SEE HIM. AT WORK. ON THURSDAY.#THIS COULD GO SO WRONG BUT IT ALSO MIGHT BE THE START OF A LOVELY ABILITY TO TEXT CASUALLY#WHICH IS WHAT IM AIMING FOR BUT JESUS CHRIST AM I SCARED RIGHT NOW#HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO SCARED
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What if your coworker is on snzblr? 👀
Don't say that 😭😭 I'll have to pass away if he is lmaoooo
#kinda snz i guess#god could you fucking imagine#that he'd be able to track the exact moment that i started going 👀 @ him#mortifying#anyway i still don't know how he knows#like I'm just hoping he's heard about it in passing or is just assuming it's a thing#why is this my life 😭#NO BC HE SENT THOSE VOICE MESSAGES WHEN HE WAS SICK#DOES HE FUCKING KNOW#fucking sweating rn ahskakks#like there's no way bc he's never seen me on here#i only open tumblr in the first place if I'm alone#and i have nothing else that's otherwise incriminating#so i think I'm in the clear but wtf lmao
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thought too hard in the shower about Things That Make Reality Wobbly and guess what the effect of that is!!!!!!!!
hey if anyone wants to confirm the reality of basically any fucked up thing that happened to me between 14 and 25 then BE MY GUEST
#red said#i keep coming back to and picking the same scab#which is that something happened at a party when i was 18 and i kind of know what it was?#although i lack some context clues like time or surroundings bc i was either incredibly drunk or i had been drugged#but it's like the ONLY TIME there is the potential of like. first hand witnesses who i could still reach out to#but i don't WANT to because that's a fucked up thing to drop on someone out of the blue when you haven't talked to them in years#but so every time i get a bit wobbly and ptsdy i start PICKING at it again i start thinking I SHOULD MESSAGE PILF#I SHOULD MESSAGE SAM. I SHOULD SEE WHAT THEY REMEMBER HAPPENING.#and then i don't. partly because maybe they don't remember anything???? and then I'd really worry i made it up#and the problem is that now i have thought about sending those messages so often that i keep thinking i actually have sent them#although looking through my message history it doesn't look like i ever did
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!
Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.
#turns out that I was not drawing from an unlimited spoon supply when I spent spoons so fast#and instead was overdrawing#because at 5:59 I thought ‘oh you know I’m a bit tired I should lay down’#and then spent almost six hours in Nap Hell as I laid down too tired to get up and take my sleep meds#but also not really sleeping consistently. like dozing except I didn’t want to.#woke up ~11:50 and apparently sent some very misspelled messages to my friends#took sleep meds. and then passed out until morning.#so… I’ve learned something here. such as ‘even if you feel fine. you know you’re spending too many spoons. slow down.’#I’m gonna try to go to bed early tonight too#and just. rest. bc I know Thursday is going to be a lot for me bc of my ASL class.#just gotta get these labs done first#the exhaustion is partially also my fault bc instead of going to bed after getting home from the airport#I did in fact go straight to DND and played until midnight because DND is Monday nights now.#but in my defense. I had napped on the plane. so I didn’t feel v tired.#but yeah I shouldn’t have done that bc that meant I was operating on a Significant Sleep Deficit yesterday and still had a lot of tasks#that absolutely could not wait. I needed food bc I didn’t have any in the house and needed laundry bc all my wearable clothes were dirty.#and I’d been in class since 9:30AM and went straight to the store from my last class and then straight to laundry after putting away grifos#and STILL FORGOT TO GET GAS#it’s fine I’ll get some today after chemistry or smth on the way home
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