#bc when I sent that first message I was like
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jshshj help why is the wall of text so funny— ㅠㅠ professional yapper at work (guess i’m a writer for a reason)
glad the tags made you happy though!! i loooovveee getting lengthy/excited tags or ones that point out little metaphors/foreshadowing/etc i’ve hidden in my stories, so i’m really am just trying to be that person for other people too :3c
still i didn’t think i said anything that was noteworthy enough to get shouted out jshsh
it’s funny that we kind of highlighted leona here bc that is who i’m shipping my yuu with ㅠㅠ (you both don’t know it yet and you will despise me for it but you will like each other). so yeah book 2 would be great for our yuus bc shin gets to play detective and meets a chess partner and cassandra meets her significant annoyance—
as for familial trauma, cass is a demi god from the percy jackson universe (it’s my first fandom and a disney owned franchise, don’t @ me ㅠㅠ), so in terms of ‘not speaking out against your parents or your family’s hierarchy’, she’s been handed a relatively short stick if she doesn’t want to get smitten by divine might or have her life turned into hell—
however, she is very loyal towards her (half) siblings and other half gods and, while spending time in nrc, will start associating adeuce and potential other ramshackle inhabitants with the other campers from back home, so i think her and shin would get along great!! also her experience with the godly world just made her really unfazed by all the magical nonsense in twst ㅠㅠ (of course there’s fairies heating the school and ghost living in the dorm, back in camp harpies cleaned your cabin and nymphs lived in camp. beast people? yeah, she’s seen more than enough satyrs)
okay that’s enough yuu crumbs bc if i don’t stop here i’ll start tossing entire bread loaves—
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🎄
merry christmas!! 🎁
this is the result of an inspiration striking 4 days before Christmas.
i broke my hand and back trying to finish this in time 😭😭 so it’s a bit messier than i prefer and the story flows less smoothly.
but i hope you guys will still enjoy this Christmas present! and the backstory lore bits!
i actually wanted to include all the twst boys but i would actually end up in the graves if i try to do so. thts why i only drew the ones shin would canonically have acquainted and befriended by Christmas (which is roughly before scarabia arc and right after octavinelle arc. unfortunately the bad experiences r still too fresh and there wasn’t enough time for shin to get to know the octatrio 😔)
also rook is there as a fellow science club member!
im done rambling im gonna go hibernate now.
hope anyone who sees this have a wonderful christmas and the rest of december <3
#❃ ˗ˏˋ➛ transcendence#❃ ˗ˏˋ➛ sitting by the water with yudi#i’ve sent 33 minutes voice messages before why am i surprised#like that’s a podcast#i either have no words or all of them at once lol#i’m very slow when it comes to tagging or responding so a lot of stuff is still stuck in draft purgatory#but it’s a very ‘be the force you want to see in the world’ kinda thing for me#interaction makes the fandom go round or sth like that#also i’ve just really fallen down the oc rabbit hole esp for twst#i have my own collection (that i just haven’t introduced yet) but i also love seeing moots’/other people’s#i just want all of them to hang out and cause chaos (esp all the yuus they deserve it)#it’s like being a child and sitting on the carpet playing dolls with your friends hshshh#also what a smooth transition to talking about cass; masterful gambit hsjsj#i’ve been organising some of my ocs’ documents recently bc there’s three/four i want to introduce#cass being the first of them#but i’m always pushing it back bc i feel like i need to draw them first#and let’s just say i’ve been neglecting the art branch of my skill tree ㅠㅠ#also all of cass’s grudges against the gods are channelled directly into crowley who can’t smite her for speaking out of term#which is very refreshing for her#omg i also just noticed that shin and cass have similar eye colours as well jshsh
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lmao accidentally (purposefully) started shit in one of my group chats from school. It’s not a club or anything just a big group chat called “we need friends” for ppl to socialize and shit. Well one person was randomly like “I have a husky does anyone else have a husky they want to breed with mine” liek dude wtf. A) why do you have a fucking. HUSKY. In texas B) ppl that breed dogs give me the ickies SO bad like dude they’re not just fucking commodities to buy and sell they’re ANIMALS, not only do you have a husky in a shit climate but you’re gonna make more?? For your own personal gain????
Anyway I could not help msyelf and I commented something mild like “lol no offense but how can you own a husky in texas…?” And boy oh boy did I open a can of worms lol. The original guy was dense as shit and could not effectively come up with an argument agaisnr me and the like three other ppl telling him what was wrong with that. First he said “well I have tons of neighbors with huskies” ok lol that still doesn’t make it right. I then explained it like, “they have SIBERIA in their name do you rly think TEXAS is anything like fucking SIBERIA.” And this mf, I kid you not, responded “ok well if I get a French bulldog do I have to live in France?” Like wow dude. Astounding comprehension and critical thinking. Totally did not miss the point at all.
Finally he realized he wasn’t gonna win and got hella defensive, and he tried explaining to us “well when it gets hot out I don’t let them outside, they’re always inside.” Yes, he said “always inside.” Always. Like good on you for not letting them die of heat stroke but cooping them up inside constantly also sounds quite inhumane too. These dogs are bred to pull sleds, run like hell, all in extremely cold weather. You have provided none of those conditions. I finally just had to buckle down and tell him like dude, I’m sure you think your dogs are happy and to some degree im sure they are, but when picking a breed you absolutely HAVE to consider that dog breeds are a thing bc dogs were BRED to fulfill very specific niches. If you don’t replicate those conditions, your dog will definitely not be living its best life. It’s way more important to find a dog that matches your lifestyle than one you just think is cute/is a purebred. Oh and what do you wanna bet that this guy bought them instead of adopting…
So yeah basically with the like 3-4 us telling him that he finally dipped and stopped arguing his impossible case. Sorry dude but you’re not gonna say that shit in front of me and expect me not to call it out. My neighbors had huskies too dipshit, and I wanted to bash their heads in too for getting dogs so ill fitted for our climate.
TLDR huskies do not belong in texas, dogs are not just fucking ornamental accessories that you can force to live whatever lifestyle you have, and always adopt instead of buying
#shit pissed me the fuck off#I tried to mind my business I rly did#but a HUSKY#in TEXAS#you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me dude#personal#deep#I’m honestly just glad I had ppl backing me up#bc when I sent that first message I was like#welp time to get hated on by everyone lol#but luckily most sided with me only like one person was dumb enough to defend that guy#and they dipped pretty fast too lol
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Anyway asshole sneezed yesterday while I was driving and I nearly wrecked my car lmao
#snz kink#and he did it more than once too like excuse you#might as well have whipped his dick out smh#i didn't actually almost wreck tho I'm just being dramatic lmao#thank god he didn't bring up the fact that it's a kink again tho bc i might’ve fr wrecked ahdkalsk#but i was like 'don't do that I'm driving 😒' and he sarcastically apologized#to his credit he did try to stifle when he did it again but that was worse bc i felt bad lmao#'well don't do *that*' and then he snorted and rolled his eyes and was like 'there's no winning with you'#god he's so great to converse with even when we're playfully bickering lmao fuck#still crazy to me that I've never been into a cishet man before in my life and always thought I'd end up with a woman#just for the first person I've ever dated to be not only a cishet man#but also my fucking coworker after i said i would never date a coworker#hate this for me but also 🥰#also now I'm extra feeling some type of way about the fact that he sent me those voice messages while he was sick#like damn maybe that did do something to me ahdkkala#maybe I should listen to them again just to see 👀#nah I'm not actually gonna do that lmao I'd feel weird if i did#anyway rip to y'all who followed me for snz lmao this is basically just a simp blog these days#oh well it's my blog lmao#partner posting
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man i love trying making plans with a friend and 1) they forget or 2) they answer my request to shift the plans slightly after the time we made plans for /s
#context: we start school at 1 pm tomorrow (which is super rare) and so originally we'd planned for me to come over to their house and do a#sleep over except that the thought of doing a sleepover the day before school freaks my neurospicy brain out too much#so I sent them a message last night like “i'm really sorry but i'm not comfortable with doing a sleepover but yk i still want to come over!#they answered: “loool” “oki tbf i forgot 😭🙏"#“and yea idk I didn't do my homework yet.. im thinking maybe we can just call during the day and do stuff?”#“you can come over also”#“but i will be crusty and ill wake up at like 12 😭”#they sent that at like midnight and it's 5 pm and they still haven't answered my reply or even seen it and i really like them but I would#love a way of contacting them where I don't get ghosted for an entire day especially when they were the one who wanted to do something#together in the first place and now they're just off the internet and it's 5pm and i know they're practically nocturnal but they know i hav#parental controls and can't really call after like 6-7pm and AAARGH WHY DO I HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM THEY DRIVE ME NUTS SOMETIMES#rant#personal rant#no tags leave me alone#<i know there *are* tags lol but that's become my “personal post” tag lmao#also using this account bc they have my main although i don't think they're super active on here
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saw a starfish on the beach today & was absolutely ENAMOURED - literally 3 of us were just squatting over this tide pool watching him move
#stream#omg i just remembered i was the last 1 to change / shower & i had just walked back from the cold ass shower thing to rinse off the salt &#punya came over & he was like ‘brother …’ & i was like what ? & he went 😏🫴#& i asked what do u want me to give u ?? ‘a cigarette u motherfucker’ ‘u know what i would love 1 TOO bitch but GUESS who smoked them ALL b#it WASNT ME !!!’ 😭😭😭😭 AKSJAKSKAKSKKSKSKAKSLSKSL#& NOW I DONT EVEN HAVE A VAPE BC OF THE FREAK BRIT THAT JUST WALKED OFF W IT#i’m still not upset abt it i’m more so just bewildered ? just shocked ? like i didn’t even care to try to get it back i was just like ok ?#i’m still shocked by it bc it’s just so#COMICAL ? LIKE ??? 😭😭😭😭 did neither of us speak english like 2 entirely different messages weren’t sent#LIKE ITS NOT A DISPOSABLE THIS IS A RECHARGABLE REFILLABLE VAPE#it was just 20£ & getting 2 disposables are also 20£ from the off license & i used literally like 80 ? 100ml ? in it ? so saved money#regardless but i did buy a pack of pods but 1 of the 3 that i used didn’t end up working & that was the third on it excluding the original#battery & those are 10£/pack so 30£ overall for what would equivalently be like idk probably around 10 of those 5k off license vapes which#would yea be 120quid so including the price of the vials themselves it’s 3-for-10£ used 5#so that’s 50£ bs 120£ even w the cost of a new device say + 30 that’s still only 3/4 of the price of what it would be using dispos which ar#cheaper than cigarettes REGARLESS#even the 30/120 that’s still u know literally a quarter of the cost it’s just a bigger upfront cost but it’s significantly cheaper long ter#STILL SAVING MONEY …. i say as if addiction isn’t inherently a waste of money but u see to that argument i budget it like food bc that’s ho#addiction works it’s just going to continue & ur going to include it in the budget as if it’s a PHYSICAL NECESSITY TO LIVE#to be fair sometimes it is lol like bro i couldn’t stop drinking w/o being in a hospital bc alcohol withdrawls can literally kill u#like my blood pressure was over 180 at 1 point when i was detoxing in hospital 😭😭😭😭😭#SCREAM#anyway#forget that#happy new year 2024.5 😍😍😍#my new year starts now fuck u the first half was just warm up#could i stop smoking if i wanted to ? yes ! will i ? absolutely fucking not !#IM ALLOWED THIS AS A TREAT#THAT I INHALE LIKE OXYGEN: CONSTANTLY
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Help me I have problems
#seasonal depression especially but hear me out#it has been. two. days#QB has been out of town for two days.#i missed him on night 1. i hate it#i don’t like feeling dependent but everything I did felt boring in the scope of#’i wish i was talking to qb rn’#the fucked up thing is that both yesterday and today we have talked#via text#but that was while the sun was still up or up-ish.#the sun went down and I went crazy#as usual#suddenly everything is boring and my thoughts are too loud#and all I can focus on are all the ways I may have fucked up or been too passionate or annoying#too much of something or not enough of something else#finally I sent#‘at the risk of sounding weird; socially inept; or clingy. things are a lot more boring when you’re not around#WHY DO I HAVE TO ADD A DISCLAIMER TO SEND MESSAGES TO PEOPLE#so after thinking for like 10 minutes I deleted the first part and left the intention- not the warning.#bc a thought corssed my mind asking if I would find it weird if QB or some other friend said that to me#and no i would love it. 10/10 compliment.#and if he were to say ‘same’ i’d be thrilled tbh#so what kind of message am I sending (pun unintended) if I call that statement weird clingy or socially inept?#it’s unhelpful for me#sometimes harmful#and I don’t want to make my friends more anxious than they already are.
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Yes, society runs on the kindness of seemingly uncompensated labor. But I promise, if you stick around and stick with it- you will be compensated with the most fulfilling and meaningful life. With the richness of empathic regeneration. It will go beyond thank you. Beyond hugs and friendship and even love. Being kind to each other is the whole point. The sum of the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts.
Voluntary kindness is EVERYTHING. Today I shared kisses (the chocolate kind) with a few ladies at school.... then a very kind lady with pink hair gave me an ice cream sandwich (she didn't charge me anything :'3 which was a surprise)... and then ANOTHER kind lady came into THAT kind lady's shop just to gift her sweet grapes that she mentioned she grew out of her backyard!!! Then guess what???
The cycle continues!!!!! And we're all so grateful and smiling. We're all so much happier than we would've been just buying these things because we had to for ourselves. Everything tastes better when they're coming from someone who thinks of you and cares. I love people.
I'm hopeful for dream weavers making this happen. College students voluntarily sharing pages of textbooks and lab manuals. Kids voluntarily sharing their toys. Strangers sharing benches and holding doors open for each other. It's all in the spirit of KINDNESS. I'm so proud of the camaraderie I've seen within society and to be a part of it. I'm proud of whoever is reading this for all the nice things they've done on earth too. It might seem unnoticed or uncompensated for now but hold onto this vision. It's a positive feedback loop. It's symbiosis. It's mutual aid. It's humanity! I'm so grateful to play a part.
#i mean this in the most non overexploitative and sincere way#people are good#thank you to the kind person who sent me $ 'for treats' today :')#i thought it would be bad to share what good i received but... it ended up working out exponentially well#i hope that kind person somehow received their kindness back#if they haven't yet then i know they will#<3 i gotta message ppl back ikik btw!!!!!!!!!!!#gotta finish important stuff first and hopefully by the time I'm done... well... i may need to sleep by then#but this post is what's most important and i hope all the ppl waiting for a reply read this#when i tell ppl ty for talking to me or messaging me i mean it so much#it is so incredibly kind to send a friendly message and it feels good to receive#moreso on difficult days when i wake up uncertain that kindness is rly the point of it all#it is#i know this#(don't ask how)#i'm holding onto that vision#tightly and desperately#like it's my final hope bc it truly is#so grateful to play a part WITH YOU ALL!!!!! WITH YOU!!!!!#we're in this together
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s. s ave me, meoto…
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..
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I have a Mighty Need for your First Time for Everything continuation.
You and me both, Poni! (there would be a crying laughing emoji here if I was on mobile)
I made like barely any headway yesterday on part 3, but I'm still trying to juggle not sleeping well with work + school, so unfortunately fun things like writing and hopefully soon drawing are taking a backseat for the time being.
Kind of.
I'm still making time for it, but I also can't afford to like... dedicate as much time as I'd want to solely to writing fun stuff. The inspiration is there beneath all the extra shit, it's just hard to say 'Alright here's my hour or two of writing time!' when I'm exhausted and frankly too brain-dead to think and write cohesively.
Plus, I've been chronically online for a long, long time and I'm kinda trying to shift that this year because being online for too long (especially in a community like this) isn't healthy for me personally. I just tend to get sucked in and spend hours doing absolutely nothing productive or even relaxing or fun. It's purely doomscrolling.
Anyway, TL;DR: Part 3 is in the works but I have no definite date, nor will I have one until I can settle a lot of stuff outside of this space. It's super nice to know that someone's looking forward to it though! :3
#greyrambles;#greyanswers;#tbh if it weren't for this fic and the small community of chill people i like on here i'd... probably delete this blog#it's kinda hard to like feel i belong anywhere online these days when it comes to bigger groups of people#like jack/septiceye posted a video today talking about how being on the internet feels SO anxiety inducing now-a-days#and it struck a chord with me bc that's how i feel when i log onto here#who unfollowed me who blocked me who sent me a shitty message and tbh?#i don't need that in my life#it's why i deleted MOST of my other social medias in the first place#some people weren't meant to be so overloaded with information and contact and shit#it just drains me#BUT#There are parts i would miss deeply like getting to connect with people who also like stuff i enjoy too!#and the fire prompts/takes#so it's like i'm /here/ but my time is limited for my own health#which should and is always going to take priority over any content i may make :3
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technology is trying to gaslight me tonight i swear to fuck
#first patreon had this weird glitch that's still happening#where a post i made wouldn't show up on my page but it showed up for others and also everywhere EXCEPT my main page#it was in the drafts and the manage recent posts section and the collections but NOT the main home page *for m e*#and me alone it seemed#tried to fix it and only made things Worse somehow#then. my pc decided to set the clock back by three hours? at seemingly random???#tumblr isn't letting me like posts and any messages sent or received on here disappear or don't show up at all on my end#while typing this up it wouldn't autosave and then it wouldn't post#and at least for tumblr it usually only does that when i've been force logged out without it actually kicking me off until i refresh#so i refreshed the page to see if it would force me to log in again#but??? i was still logged in so i was like okay i'll just log out and log in again maybe that'll help#nope!! still acting funky!!#third time typing this post up bc of it!!
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i cleaned my inbox out the other day (like 2k messages 💀) but. i think it broke my inbox. i can see messages on my notifs page but it won't let me get to them in my inbox. so. not sure... how to fix that......
#when i was cleaning it out i had to refresh it a few times bc it wasnt properly loading everything#and i had to keep combing back thru to catch all the messages bc it was skipping over them the first time#and now i dont know. what's happening#and yes i never delete messages i feel bad...... i still saved a whole bunch too except i screenshotted them into a folder#lmfao. mental eelness...#or i guess maybe someone sent me messages and then immediately blocked me in which case this is embarrassing for me#but it even shows them in like. the number. i had exactly 75 after i finished wiping them and now it says i have 78#but i cant see the 3 new ones. only the notifs on my notes page & even clicking thru to them from there doesn't show them
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i’m sooooooooo stressed about a message i just sent but i am glad i sent it bc if i hadn’t i would’ve spent the rest of however long thinking about sending it and i don’t like that at all but also my heart is literally pounding in my chest what if he hates me and doesn’t want to be friends anymore…………………
#I DONT LIKE BREACHING THE COWORKER VS FRIEND BOUNDARY BECAUSE MY BOUNDARIES ARE SO THIN BUT I AM ALWAYS TERRIFIED OF PUSHING SOMEONE ELSE#TOO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT ALSO THIS GUY AND I SPENT SO LONG BITCHING TOGETHER SATURDAY NIGHT AT A PARTY AND HE SMOKED MANY OF MY CIGARETTES#SO HOW MUCH CAN HE REALLY HATE ME#I AM SO FULL OF ADRENALINE RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO SCARY IVE GOT MY PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB BECAUSE I DONT WANT TO KNOW WHEN HE REPLIES#HORRIFYING. TERRIFYING. I WISH I HAD SENT A MESSAGE TO HIM BACK IN FUCKING JULY THE FIRST TIME I WANTED TO SEND A MESSAGE TO HIM.#HORRIBLE HORRIBLE STUFF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#IF I FUCK THIS UP THEN I DO ACTUALLY FUCK THINGS UP QUITE SEVERELY BC HE IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE I MOST ENJOY HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH JUST#IN GENERAL. BUT ALSO. I KNOW HE LIKES HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH ME AS WELL SO IT SHOULDNT FUCK IT UP TOO MUCH#BUT WHAT IF IT DOESSSSSSSSDD#AND THEN I HAVE TO SEE HIM. AT WORK. ON THURSDAY.#THIS COULD GO SO WRONG BUT IT ALSO MIGHT BE THE START OF A LOVELY ABILITY TO TEXT CASUALLY#WHICH IS WHAT IM AIMING FOR BUT JESUS CHRIST AM I SCARED RIGHT NOW#HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO SCARED
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What if your coworker is on snzblr? 👀
Don't say that 😭😭 I'll have to pass away if he is lmaoooo
#kinda snz i guess#god could you fucking imagine#that he'd be able to track the exact moment that i started going 👀 @ him#mortifying#anyway i still don't know how he knows#like I'm just hoping he's heard about it in passing or is just assuming it's a thing#why is this my life 😭#NO BC HE SENT THOSE VOICE MESSAGES WHEN HE WAS SICK#DOES HE FUCKING KNOW#fucking sweating rn ahskakks#like there's no way bc he's never seen me on here#i only open tumblr in the first place if I'm alone#and i have nothing else that's otherwise incriminating#so i think I'm in the clear but wtf lmao
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thought too hard in the shower about Things That Make Reality Wobbly and guess what the effect of that is!!!!!!!!
hey if anyone wants to confirm the reality of basically any fucked up thing that happened to me between 14 and 25 then BE MY GUEST
#red said#i keep coming back to and picking the same scab#which is that something happened at a party when i was 18 and i kind of know what it was?#although i lack some context clues like time or surroundings bc i was either incredibly drunk or i had been drugged#but it's like the ONLY TIME there is the potential of like. first hand witnesses who i could still reach out to#but i don't WANT to because that's a fucked up thing to drop on someone out of the blue when you haven't talked to them in years#but so every time i get a bit wobbly and ptsdy i start PICKING at it again i start thinking I SHOULD MESSAGE PILF#I SHOULD MESSAGE SAM. I SHOULD SEE WHAT THEY REMEMBER HAPPENING.#and then i don't. partly because maybe they don't remember anything???? and then I'd really worry i made it up#and the problem is that now i have thought about sending those messages so often that i keep thinking i actually have sent them#although looking through my message history it doesn't look like i ever did
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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Me, yesterday, 5:30 PM: wow I’m honestly doing so great at my adult tasks; I’ve gotten some homework done, I went grocery shopping, my laundry is almost dry. I spent so many spoons and I barely feel tired! Maybe I’m finally fully recovering from burnout!
Me, yesterday, 6:00 PM: oh.
#turns out that I was not drawing from an unlimited spoon supply when I spent spoons so fast#and instead was overdrawing#because at 5:59 I thought ‘oh you know I’m a bit tired I should lay down’#and then spent almost six hours in Nap Hell as I laid down too tired to get up and take my sleep meds#but also not really sleeping consistently. like dozing except I didn’t want to.#woke up ~11:50 and apparently sent some very misspelled messages to my friends#took sleep meds. and then passed out until morning.#so… I’ve learned something here. such as ‘even if you feel fine. you know you’re spending too many spoons. slow down.’#I’m gonna try to go to bed early tonight too#and just. rest. bc I know Thursday is going to be a lot for me bc of my ASL class.#just gotta get these labs done first#the exhaustion is partially also my fault bc instead of going to bed after getting home from the airport#I did in fact go straight to DND and played until midnight because DND is Monday nights now.#but in my defense. I had napped on the plane. so I didn’t feel v tired.#but yeah I shouldn’t have done that bc that meant I was operating on a Significant Sleep Deficit yesterday and still had a lot of tasks#that absolutely could not wait. I needed food bc I didn’t have any in the house and needed laundry bc all my wearable clothes were dirty.#and I’d been in class since 9:30AM and went straight to the store from my last class and then straight to laundry after putting away grifos#and STILL FORGOT TO GET GAS#it’s fine I’ll get some today after chemistry or smth on the way home
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