#bc we always cringe when shit gets real

[gregmarriage]

i should probably stop trying so hard to have a best friend, and face facts; that my baby brother is already my best friend

[sunday-12-25]

love being crazy. never a dull moment

[lucky-clover-gazette]

white out is probably one of the more notable episodes of she ra bc it's just catra at her absolute worst behavior, like objectively the portal had far greater consequences but i think the cold got to her in this one bc she's such a fucking menace. "looks like you're mine now adora" "always so perfect, look at you now. you're coming back to the horde under my command" "i wonder which of your friends i'll have you annihilate first" "I'VE GOT CONTROL OVER ADORA. I'M NOT GIVING THAT UP." like when corrupted she ra throws catra at the ground like a ragdoll she deserves it, 100%, no questions asked. there isn't even a time/space anomaly making catra act up, they just put her in outpost 31 from the thing with her ex and suddenly she's the homoerotic joker.

even scorpia's briefly like "ahahah maybe i don't want to have a crush on catra after all" bc she's acting like such a freak. but also scorpia spends the entire episode trying to ask catra out, and tells adora, "you two, even when you're trying to kill each other, you can tell there's a real bond" and she is JEALOUS of that?? actually you know what this is also a catradora at their worst behavior episode too, like the way they immediately start trash talking and then ditch everyone to scrap the second they see each other is beyond unprofessional. catra's favorite number is canonically 42069 (confirmed by nate stevenson) and adora knows this by heart. if those two idiots were in the same room for five minutes while adora's on loopy mode the show would actually just end, and this episode fucking KNOWS it and refuses to give us the satisfaction. bro. scorpia telling loopy adora that catra is misunderstood and shouldn't SHE know that better than anyone else is just like. wow. ouch. rude. scorpia is actually the mvp of this episode she straight up judges adora to her FACE for abandoning catra and swears not to do the same, even though honestly she probably should, because catra fucking SUCKS in this one. scorpia reveals that "catra once used my rock-hard exoskeleton as a nail file" why?? why would you let this happen?? stop simping she's not worth it!! but scorpia is still the mvp bc at the end of the episode she just straight-up realizes that catra is out of her goddamn mind and breaks the 'controlling she ra' disk for catra's own good bc clearly something about low temps and her ex makes catra go 25% more feral than usual and it's pretty cringe. it's like when i dispose of the dead fly my cat has been antagonizing for the past twenty minutes like babygirl i don't like the person you become when you're in these conditions!! and of course OF COURSE we get literally two seconds of sober wordless communication between catra and adora that's just like ohhhh adora's gonna remember this one, you're going to be doing the dishes for the first fifteen years of your relationship once this galactic war shit wraps up and you save the universe by kissing with tongue. oh my god, what the fuck is with this show. how does this show exist. how does this episode exist. how does catra exist. they put this gay catgirl in an environment under 32 degrees farenheit for one episode and it's enough to make her say some of the most toxic, deranged dialogue in the entire series. i think soup would fix her, and also a cocktail of psychiatric medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. she sneezes like a kitten and needs a weighted blanket in the evil uber away from cringefail summit as she's mentally drafting the 'i fucked up' email to her boss. she thanks scorpia and shares the blanket with her bc she's so exhausted by her own bullshit. she ra and the princesses of power season 2 episode 5 white out is for the cold gay heartbroken bitches and it might just be one of the series' best. looks like you're mine now adora, good fucking night.

[teencopandthesourwolf]

THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN EVERY EPISODE OF TEEN WOLF EVER

part ii (part i HERE)

coach finstock philosophy being the thing that actually fixes you

a soundtrack that consists of the sort of music that makes you wish you were no longer alive, plus (ironically) the excellent song lose your soul by dead man's bones 

jeff davis forgetting character's ages and back stories and sometimes the characters themselves (fuck you forever for kira, jeff, you massive poopy head)

jeff davis forgetting the plot

jeff davis forgetting the fact that nobody likes him

tuning in for sterek and staying for sterek even when jeff davis stops giving the sterek scenes together, and staying for sterek even after one half of sterek leaves, in the hope that the half of sterek who left will one day return so you can keep on watching for sterek even though sterek is not even canon and you know inherently it never will be  

brilliantly appalling special FX

meredith having even crazier eyes than the character from the show orange is the new black who has crazy eyes and is actually named crazy eyes 

tyler hoechlin hands down having the best spine-tingling-hairs-standing-up-on-the-back-of-your-neck werewolf roar of any werewolf on any film or tv show about werewolves ever FIGHT ME

queer allegory my beloved <3

isaac inexplicably wearing a scarf all-year-round

all the characters bar derek (only bc it's hard to get it wrong with a henley and black jeans which is all he ever wears apart from the one-time crimson thumbhole shirt that was inspired drip) having honestly the worst fucking dress sense

jackson being the angriest most brilliantly hammy antagonist ever with the best facial expressions known to humankind who ends up evolving into the most adorable gayest gay to ever gay living his best life in londonia with his lovely boyfriend ethan where they are now both runway models for jean paul gaultier (who everybody knows is a french werewolf from way back when in the la bête du gévaudan era)

getting the feeling you should be doing absolutely anything else with your time instead of watching these idiots yet being completely addicted to loving this penny and dime clown show more than you love your own nearest and dearest 

VOID STILES BEING A 1000 YEAR OLD FOX DEMON THAT MAKES YOU HARD

having the constant need to shake scott vigorously because he is the funko pop! bobble head we all know and are forced to tolerate 

chris argent being such a cringe over-the-top-gun-toting-who's-your-daddy-badass that he somehow actually manages to circle back around to being rad af  

chris argent being so real and a dilf

none of the characters ever talking about the fact that scott's dad was an abusive arsehole apart from stiles because stiles is a champion amongst men who makes sure to tell scott's dad between scenes that his head looks like a cross between a crescent moon and a foot

every single character on the show knowing that there is not a hint of a shadow of a doubt that derek and stiles are doin the narsty—even the off-camera characters we never get to meet are always congregating on the reg in the grocery store or the coffee shop or the WSWA (We See Werewolves Anonymous) bi-weekly meetings and are all like "you know that furious-looking autistic dude with the spectacular monobrow whose eyes are sometimes definitely way too blue? and the noodly peewee herman MIT ADHD kid with the duct tape jeep whose dad is the sheriff of this fictional town none of us live in? they are definitely fucking omg." 

each and every school lesson we see scott and stiles attending actually being a top secret pentagram level mission impossible code for whatever supernatural shit is about to go down in beacon hills that day 

outing you as the monsterfucker you really are LMFAO

(find part i HERE)

[wof-reworked]

ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her

[socksenjoyer]

ok haha life series au idea time let's go bc i need to get this off my chest. I love being cringe 💞🌸✨

SO victorian/maybe georgian era life series AU. Supernatural shit is common but shunned from everyday life. Grian is the son of a rich family who vanished in.... mysterious. circumstances. So now he has the entire gigantic house to himself. His friends -- the life series members -- are mostly supernatural entities but Grian himself seems (mostly) human. They often visit him and vice versa, everything seems nice.

He's even visited his mysterious shut-in neighbour, who is a vampire trying to hide it VERY badly. Mumbo's only companion for the last few years has been his robot, Grumbot. Mumbo struggles to communicate with anyone because he's exceedingly anxious and incredibly ominous, but Grian has decided he WILL be friends with this strange man, so they are friends. Grian introduces him to the wonderful possibility of just asking for (animal) blood, instead of stealing it like a fricking chupacabras. Grumbot goes to live at Grian's house, because at this point Mumbo is just living with Grian. It's good. Everything's good.

Then, Grian barricades himself in his room, completely covering the window and absorbing himself in some kind of work. He refuses for any lights to be turned on in his vicinity (too bright) and instructs Mumbo to post a number of letters, one to each of the life series members. Each member tells the member that they need urgently to go to Grian's house NOW. Mumbo posts these letters, along with his own postscript explaining that Grian is obviously very sick, everyone starts to make their way there.

People start to arrive (scary!!) and chaos ensues as both the area Grian wants to be kept dark and the number of people increases. Since Mumbo can see fairly well in the dark, he's the only one who can get down the hallway to communicate with Grian. A few people become suspicious, as they don't know Mumbo (only Scar really knows him and impulse and skizz have at least met him) and he could easily be lying about what Grian's saying. One person, Gem, is exceedingly suspicious. She does NOT like Mumbo's general vibe (hmmm gem i wonder why gem) (ok in all seriousness she used to be a monster hunter, particularly a vampire hunter. She doesn't tell anyone this, but her old prejudices kinda start to show through). Everyone arrives but Pearl and Lizzie because Pearl is literally countries away and Lizzie is doing secret things...

One night, Grian tells Mumbo something, and tells him strictly not to tell anyone else. Turns out Grian is not Grian! He is in fact an eldritch horror that has been inhabiting Grian's body for the past *checks notes* fifteen years! This doesn't really change anything between them, since Mumbo and most of the lifers have never known the 'real' Grian, and it also doesn't answer any of anyone's burning questions, such as:

-why are we in this house

-what's the deal with the eyes? there's so many eyes, spinning and turning, always seeming to stare in one direction, maybe at me. i see them when i close my eyes now they're so bright i cannot think i cannot breathe all i can do is stare like a deer in headlights oh god oh god

-how do i know what a deer in headlights is? And why does Ren keep calling people 'dude'?

-What's up with Grian?

We don't out people in this house, so Mumbo doesn't tell anyone.

Only a day later, when everyone's asleep (apart from Mumbo insomnia gang💯🔥💯🔥 also he craves human flesh or whatever)(by extension Gem is also awake because hmm suspicious......) humongous hands appear, unable to be destroyed or escaped, taking people out of their beds and seemingly into the floorboards. It seems Grian is controlling them, but he can't be reached and didn't seem aware of what he's doing. It's only when Scar says something very quiet into Grian's ear that they both get dragged down No Childrenstyle and the hands stop. The only people remaining are Gem and Mumbo, thoroughly shaken up by the whole experience.

The goal then becomes to get along long enough to figure out what's going on and save everyone. First thing they do is send letters to Pearl and Lizzie, letting them know what's happening and maybe to hurry. They also send letters to Cub (knows stuff about magic) and Doc (knows stuff about interdimensional shenanigans) in the hopes they can help. Cub is very busy and says he might not be able to make it for a while but everyone else gets their ass in gear to come help.

Gym & mambo become tentative friends. They start to try and decipher Grian's notes, which appear to have been written in a completely unknown language. While they do this, something begins to happen around the outside of the house. Stone statues begin to appear, in a clockwise manner, completely buried apart from their arms, which poke out of the surface. Their first thought is to dig the statues up to see the rest of them, and doing this prompts the worst headaches and hallucinations (so many eyes and blinding lights blinding me blinding me in glory) either of them have ever felt. So we will not dig them up. They work out that the hands may well belong to the other lifers, since there's space for 14 people. Unbeknownst to mumbert and germ, the hands are also appearing in order of player deaths.

At about the same time Scott's statue appears, about a week after the disappearances, Mumbo mentions that Grian revealed something about himself near the end (the eldritch horror stuff). Gem is convinced this could be important and a little pissed that Mumbo is withholding crucial information. He refuses to tell her because it's not his secret to tell, and he doesn't think it would help them anyway. This entire argument devolves into Gem drawing her sword (which is so heavily consecrated that Mumbo physically recoils at being in the same room as the bare blade) and maybe accusing Mumbo of projecting his own fear of discovery onto Grian (Worth mentioning that Mumbo hasn't told her that he's a vampire but the fact he has to step away from the sword as if it were blasting the full concentrated power of the sun was kinda the last straw in figuring it out). Mumbo also gets incredibly pissed and asks why she even has that sword because the average person isn't carrying that shit around. So Gem admits she used to hunt vampires. Everyone gets to be furious until they sit down and have a nice talk HAHA ONLY JOKING THEY STEW ABOUT THIS SILENTLY AND ARE ONLY GETTING ALONG BECAUSE THE CIRCUMSTANCES DEMAND IT!! THEY ARE SILENTLY PISSED AT EACH OTHER FOR FUCKING CHAPTERS BABY.

Around the time Impulse's hands show up, Lizzie arrives. She is absolutely fucking going through it. She confirms that the hands of Joel are his because she recognises his ring. After the 'sorry your husband got buried and turned into a statue' talk she begins to help shed light on the language Grian has been writing in (it's standard galactic but with the added fun little twist that it is not encoding something in english but a whole new language only spoken by.....watchers!!! muahaha).

Bdubs' hands show up. Everyone is tense and upset and sleep deprived, and they've hit a wall. Lizzie can tell some shit has gone on between Morbius and Gort and suggests they maybe...talk to each other about it? They're both about to admit that they don't want to stay mad at each other but WAIT all of a sudden hold on. There's hands outside. That's Scar and Grian's hands and they're POETICALLY TANGLED TOGETHER, NO CHILDRENSTYLE? They both rush outside because that means everyone's here, so what now? Mumbo puts his hand on top of theirs and before Gem can warn him he is grabbed and pulled into the ground. Panicked, Gem goes to find Lizzie who is also nowhere to be seen, and in a dramatic final girl moment she fucking figures it all out OH MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE AND THEN GEM ALSO IS TAKEN BY THE HANDS ANNNNND SCENE

Doc arrives at the house finding it completely empty, apart from Grumbot, who powered off a while ago because there was nobody left in the house. Doc powers Grumbot on to find answers, which is where we get a recount of the events from (Grumbot's been here.... the whole time!).

So yeah. I might end up writing this or comic-ing it or whatever. If anyone wants to use my idea w/credit please go ahead i would actually pledge my soul to you if you did that. Just you guys wait until you hear about the sleepover demon summoning au.

[peterparkersnose]

Christmas Vibes

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

word count: 1.3k

warnings: nostalgia, age gap, horrible attempt to capture joel’s accent (fuck), just christmas fluff :)

a/n this kicks off my joel stories in preperation for tlou show on hbo max starting jan 15! enjoy and have a happy holidays. please tell me you understand the vibe aspect (triangle, purple, thursday, the number 4, blueberry pie) bc if not i am just really undiagnosed. 

summary Joel tries to make Christmas special for Y/N once again

masterlist

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read time: 4 mins 59 seconds

“It’s snowing,” you sighed, looking at your reflection in your window. The street lamp lights outside were plagued with the falling snow.

“Never liked winter,” Joel shuttered, taking off his jeans. You heard his belt clank as it hit the hamper. “Really? Not even Christmas?” you asked, playing with a strand of your hair with your gaze still locked outside.

“Sarah always loved it. I liked seeing her happy so I tolerated it.” Joel sighed. You could see the reflection of his flannel pajama pants in the window. You were touched that he mentioned Sarah. He rarely did. Even if you slept in the same room with that eerie photo of the two of them together staring at you, you never dared pushing the subject.

“What did she like?” you asked, testing the waters. “Hmm,” Joel thought. “When she was real young she loved Santa. Her grandpa would come around every year dressed up as ‘em. I’ll never forget her face every year when he would come.”

You nodded, not sure what to say. “I miss Christmas.” you sighed, sitting down next to Joel in the bed. “How many did you get? Before…”

“12.” you sighed. “My mom would always go out and cut us down a tree. I sometimes think about the smell of a real tree. It’s much different when the tree is in the woods versus your living room. I miss it. Every time it gets cold like this, my memories come back and it makes me hate this damned broken world even more.” you sighed, laying down on your back and staring at the ceiling.

“We always had fake trees,” Joel commented, flicking off the lamp. He was unsure on how to respond to you, so he tried to take your mind off the bitterness of the memories.

“You give fake tree vibes.” you told Joel, reaching for his hand in the sheets. “How can one give fake tree vibes?” “You just do.” “Explain?” he asked, grabbing your hand tightly ���There’s no explanation. Just like how Maria gives off former yoga teacher vibes,”

He stopped and thought for a moment. “Well I’ll be damned, she really do.” “Told ya.” “Go to sleep,” he sighed. “She most definitely had a pixie cut when the world wasn’t shit,” you added.

“Where does your mind come up with these things?” Joel chuckled. “Ellie and I had a very intense conversation about it on patrol a few days ago. Just like how Tommy gives off cinnamon raisin bread vibes.”

“Stop that,” Joel insisted, shuffling in bed. “It’s too accurate. Freakin’ me out.”

“Maybe she has a dragonfly tattoo too. Somewhere special where only Tommy knows. Very yoga teacher-ish.”

“Go to bed Y/N.” Joel huffed, slamming his eyes shut.

Joel didn’t even know why he was doing this. He didn’t even like Christmas when the world was still normal.

But he liked you sure of a hell lot more than he hated Christmas.

His back ached as he dragged the tree through the gates of Jackson. He had picked out the greenest tree he could find and cut it down. The horse would have been useless with a close to 120 pound tree (he estimated).

“Need some help?” Tommy chuckled, arms crossed amused watching his brother lug in a tree. “S’pose I could,” he hissed at him, dragging the stem of the tree against the dirt ground. “All this for a woman?” Tommy asked, lifting the muddy end of the tree. “Your tellin’ me you wouldn’t do this for Maria?” “Maria wouldn’t want it,” “Well if she did?”

Tommy paused for a second to think. “Hell no,”

The tree barely fit in the door to your house. Joel cringed at all the needles he was going to have to pick up after this.

“Got her in?” Tommy asked, entering the house with the end of the tree still in his grips.

Tommy saw the makeshift tree holder and set the tree in the metal hole. Joel propped it up, holding the tree up for Tommy to bolt the tree to the metal plate.

The two of them now out of breathe took a step back to see the enormous tree.

“I think you may have underestimated the size of your house, big brother.” Tommy said, patting Joel on the back.

Joel’s eyes were glued to the top of the tree pressed against the ceiling and jutting outward.

His arms were crossed with one hand rubbing his brow. “She’s gonna hate it,” he muttered. “I think it’s rather cute. Quirky if you ask me. She likes that shit, don’t she?” Tommy re assured his brother.

“Should I cut it?” Joel asked. “Nah. You went out and did the dirty work. If she doesn’t appreciate it, she doesn’t deserve it. I always got a lighter if you need it.” he suggested.

Joel swept the needles up from the ground in preparation of your return. You had spent the day distracted by Ellie. The kids were having a winter festival down in the square and you two were volunteering.

Joel most definitely owed Ellie one after this.

He found the red and green blankets from storage and placed them on the couch. Holiday decorations were rare to find (minus halloween) and he was trying his best.

He was in the middle of fluffing the pillows when he heard the old door creek open.

A sudden gasp came from you as your hand clasped over your mouth. “What is this?” you asked, a smile widening on your face.

“I know it ain’t perfect, I didn’t measure right but it’s…”

“Joel, it’s perfect.” you insisted, wrapping your hands around the man who was cowering in embarrassment. “It’s too tall, the tree ain’t right.”

“Shh,” you shushed him, wrapping an arm around his rib cage. “I love it,” you muffled into his chest.

“Oh!” you said, suddenly realizing what you had done that day.

You and Ellie had made strings of snowflakes all day with the kids.

The white paper cut outs strung perfectly around the tree.

“Careful there,” Joel said, balancing you as you stood on your tippy toes to reach the top. “Ready?” he asked.

“Ready for-”

Joel hoisted you up by your waist erupting a squeal from you. “Joel!” you laughed, squirming in his reach.

“String…‘em,” he demanded with his raspy voice, struggling holding you in his grip. As you strung the paper around the branches, needles dropped down. Specifically on Joel.

“What are you doing?” you asked after hearing the noise of Joel spitting. “Them damn needles- in my face.” he grunted, finally letting you down.

A tiny laugh came from you as you faced him once again. “What’s so funny?” he asked. You carefully plucked the stray needles out of his bushy eyebrows, making sure they didn’t fall in his eyes. “All better now,” you smiled, kissing him on the cheek.

“I’m surprised your not covered in sap,” you commented, sitting down on your comfy couch in Joel’s arms. You handed him his cup of coffee. “Showered ‘for you got home,”

“What if I wanted you covered in sap?” you asked, staring up at the tree. “What?” Joel asked, confused. “So I could have washed it off of ya.”

Joel sucked his teeth. “It’s a damn shame,” he sighed, taking a sip of his coffee.

“And you brought this in all by yourself?” you asked, grabbing Joel’s bicep. “Mhm,” he lied, taking Tommy’s credit. “My strong man,” you said, folding closer into his body.

“Thank you, Joel.” you sighed, remembering the previous night. “It’s just like old times.” “Well, I’m glad you like it,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

“It gives off Christmas vibes,” Joel said, very proud of himself. “Yes Joel, sure. It gives Christmas vibes.” You chuckled, enamored at his attempt to understand your humor.

“Just like how Ellie gives off the vibe that she can only wear red socks on a Friday.”

“Stop that shit already,”

“And how when the world wasn’t like this, Tommy probably had shit credit.”

“He did,” Joel laughed. “Stop it now, your still freaking me out.”

“You brought it up!”

“Yeah, because it was funny when I did it.”

“Yes Joel. Hilarious.”

-

tag list: @dani5216 @uwiuwi @alohastyles-x @samanthacookieone @maddieinnit0 @alexxavicry

[nereidprinc3ss]

so um, you’ve probably have been asked this many times but how do you start writing fanfic without cringing at yourself? i already feel silly for reading it. i noticed you have gained recognition outside of tumblr which i believe to be an achievement but i can’t allow myself to go through that.

i work in the finance sector at a big american firm, i can’t have my coworkers knowing i’m writing fanfic. i already get teased for watching disney animated films (which it’s not that bad) how do you deal with this? ik you’re still at college and ofc, this doesn’t mean you’re stupid but i bet you know what i mean? do you have some advice on this?

⚠️me not shutting the fuck up and getting way too personal below the cut

honestly at first i DID cringe at myself. i cringed so much that after posting my first fic in like november i dont think i posted again til january because i was writing and would just get so humiliated despite being alone and no one knowing who i was or what i was doing LOL but honestly the way i got over that was just to do it more because i truly love writing and why would i let feeling “cringe” stop me from doing something i love and that makes me happy? that would be so heartbreaking, life is hard enough, we deserve to do things we love and are passionate about without judging ourselves so harshly

as for not letting other people know well yeah i just don’t tell my friends or anyone ik in real life that i write fanfic lol, they know i love to write and they know im obsessed with spencer reid but that’s as much as i’ve told them! i know it’s a thing that maybe most people would consider “weird” but as someone who has a crushing fear of intimacy this is kinda my outlet lmfao. and it made me feel really insecure and weird at first but then i realized like… i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful, i have a lot of good qualities and the fact that i write fanfic doesn’t actually detract from any of them. it also helped for me to accept the reason why i write fanfic which is (and we’re abt to get real personal) i’m deeply afraid of intimacy of any kind and always have been so writing fiction abt the stuff i’m too scared to do isn’t a bad thing. there are a lot of people who wouldn’t understand it but they don’t have the same experiences as me and i don’t need them to understand it because i know that they never could. like they don’t understand what it’s like to so terrified of being known by another person that you obsess over the hottest guy in your school district for six months bc you want the validation of him liking you back and you do everything in your power to make him like you and then when he actually does reciprocate you immediately start icing him out to the point where he says hi at a party and you ignore him to his face cause you’re so afraid of men😂😂😂😂😂 they don’t get those vibes!!!

anyway basically you just have to remember that you’re doing it for you and it actually doesn’t mean something is WRONG with you if you enjoy writing and the safety and control that fiction offers you. it just means you’re one of billions of people living an entirely unique experience, just like anyone else, and honestly i think it makes you interesting. having hobbies and passions is rlly sexy and cool, regardless of what they are, and you deserve to do stuff you like doing. if anyone else is giving you shit abt it it’s probably because they genuinely don’t understand what it’s like to have interests and that makes me feel bad for them lol

[nunap]

I was a 1d Stan and if you don't know Liam Payne died the 16th of October after a period of intense of online harassment. He was called lame and cringe and was mocked intensely for everything he did for years. FuNnY memes were made when he was at his lowest bc it's not that deep right?famous people dont deserve mercy. We don't know how or why he died but that same day Chan said :"stays thank you for existing" at the Australia concert and I thought how much cyberbullying he went through as well. For existing. Kpop stans and stays always get to comfortable with him. You never know what your "jokes" can do to a person. Be kind and be aware that you're talking to/about a real person and a stranger. Also if you don't fucking like him or a group and only have negative shit to say u can go and spend ur free time in another way. Everyone's happy, see?it's so easy

[teadrop-12]

I really love the headcanons they're honestly so spot-on and very fun to read through if its not too much can I have hcs from you of my girl Dos🙏🙏🙏

YYESSS MY BELOVEDDD OMG omg u already know a lot of hcs n u made me have a lot more so ty 4 that omg

right off the bat. does not get along with kids. either that. or she is the cool mom to them. but her experience with every kid in the show says otherwise

her real name is MAYBE Dahlia.

bi. 100% bi, with a preference for women

terrible at math but good at everything else

when i said shes bi i mean like. kinda stereotypical bi. with like the leather jackets and also falling head over heels with a woman at first sight but it takes her months to actually start to like a guy

like. i adore acaiberry right.

and rizdos

but u know how dos went and infiltrated MATA and Bakar tried to flirt with her n like she was uninterested. what if like she ran into the most ethereal woman ever (geetha,,maybe i dunno,,,,just a suggestion,,,)

and that just causes her to almost fail the entire mission because of ONE OLD ASS LESBIAN

well geetha isnt that much older than her bc shes like,,,the same age as rizwan?? apparently?? but this isnt about her

owns a motorcycle. much cooler than rizwan's, like its got purple lightning on it and stuff.

if i was to compare her to a toh character shes like eda and lilith combined. like she takes wildly unnecessary risks but also completely stoic and unwavering at some.

but really she also reminds me of elle from tlou2

has a lot of jewelery, just rarely wears it

i said before she is not good with kids but her skills at makeup and being fucking awesome are what get her by. like she can get any kid to like makeup and motorcycles in three hours

really close with trez, again, thanks to you bella i have this headcanon. but like hes like her brother, maybe they grew up together?

she brags about being in a band but really she was only in it for a month (girlfailure)

never really caring unless its someone she knows like family, like MAYBE Trez, Rizwan is an exception

either she doesn't like music or she listens to heavy metal, but like with her partner she'd have their own music taste in her playlists and stuff

whoo time for some cringe dark heartwrenching headcanons!!

when she was in the numeros she was unknowingly cloned because before rizwan she was the strongest of the numeros. but that backfired bc it turned out to be a child.

and im not saying who that is because bella you know this headcanon all too well and no one else can know until i've fleshed out everything but a hint is she was homeless until MATA

like the clone ran away when she thought she'd be terminated and thats why she was homeless.

genuinely cries a lot when she thinks of losing people she loves. like she'd go in private and cry her eyes out and come back like nothing happened

when she dated jenny she had a plan in the back of her head to run away with her and off the grid from the numeros.

we all know that can't happen now

shes been through so much shit as a kid and always thought she was so mature and that she should have been able to handle it so if she ever has her own like single or adopted or with someone i dunno, she would cry because she realized she was that small and innocent once and she didn't deserve that

i hate it here

i might be projecting

i dont even have this many headcanons for my spiky haired daughter

i might be projecting on this one a little but i also got this hc from a comic by catboymoments

anyways!! i think thats all for now but if i think of any more i'll add them ilysm bella also feel free to ask anything else!!

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Hii PastorCraigEnjoyer you always give the best style recommendations, can you please recommend style stick of truth fics? <3

AAAAAA I am not even gonna lie this list is gonna be SO long bc not only am I a style enthusiast, I’m also A STICK OF TRUTH FANATIC!!!

A Ballad Of True Hearts by luckypoppies (yes I’ve reced this one before it slaps ok) LISTEN THE ANGST IS SO PAINFUL AND SO SLAY and the CRUMB of love we get is gorgeous

The king and the kite by brookeginko DUDE OK this is unfinished but one of the best sot/tfbw crossovers out there

Highest Honour by 24parts so this may not be an au technically but it’s the boys playin sot and ITS SO DAMN CUTE the “are we still playing” “I don’t know” AAAAAAAAA such a cute and quick read I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read this

Helping The Enemy by yeahbisalive420 y’all know how I love stan whump, esp stick of truth, and this is one of the first I read in that category, it SLAYS DUDE ITS SO GOOD the gangs all there, it’s fun, it’s sweet, omg

Your name written upon mine by sooduhnim WHEN I SAY THIS IS GORGEOUS!!! Soulmate au, incredible plot, style getting married (the wedding is beautiful ok), conspiracy and outside enemies trying to fuck shit up, kickass ending, pls read this one frfr

A kinights duty by brookeginko this is another really sweet oneshot (we know I love those) ohhhh my god it’s so wholesome Stan bbg I love knight Stan with everything in me!!!

How We Began by PastorCraigEnjoyer (also the other small works in the Of Forests And Finding Love series) OKAY YES ITS CRINGE TO RECOMMEND YOUR OWN STUFF but y’all I started writing fanfic SPECIFICALLY because I had a very particular set of tags I wanted to see and that was stick of truth fluff and hurt/comfort. And I loved writing these ones. 3 are oneshots if you’re not down for 20k words lmfao. (I have multiple unrelated sot style oneshots too)

The King’s Forest by iksolforb I JUST LOVE ONESHOTS and elf Kyle being bold and flirty dude oneshots are my lifeblood especially stick of truth and this Kyle is SO fun

Entries From The Past by ViviBaby69420 GUYS OH MY ABSOLUTE FUCK THIS ONE IS BEAUTIFUL IN SO MANY WAYS!!! The prose, the discriptions. AND it’s written in journal format from our elf king’s pov which feels SO personal and special dude seriously and the characterizations are beautiful STAN MY BBY plus the dialogue and the rapport between the guys absolutely slaps ALSO!!!! Guys check out their art (btw the story is illustrated holy shit I can’t emphasize the beauty enough) you can find it at @mellowybaby FOR REAL JUST PHENOMENAL AND I AM NOT KIDDING!!!

sleep tight by startwithsnail this is so rad a certain elf prince… meeting a certain warewolf… absolutely delightful oneshot fr guys

Y’all I’m totally blanking I KNOW I have more to recommend but I CANT THINK OF THEM RIGJT NOW maybe later but ANYWAY that’s your Fanfiction Librarian List for now!

[euniexenoblade]

trans girl here who recently deleted my blog bc of transmisogynist harrassment for speaking out on trans girl deaths. my criticism of tme/tma is far different than most ppl’s. all the MRAS can eat shit, cis ppl can eat shit. dont get this twisted bc i am very much not on tme’s side on this. what i have to say comes from a transfeminist perspective. i have read whipping girl, i have been out for 9 years.

i fundamentally dislike it bc i considered this abbreviation shit to be a CENSORED and DECLAWED way of saying transmisogyny.

most tme ppl cant even say the word transmisogyny, and only started to VERY RECENTLY bc they heard these abbreviations and decided that if they redefine the word to be completely fucking meaningless “affects everyone” then ONLY then are they willing to say transmisogyny. and now fucking all of them are going on this “everyone’s affected by transmisogyny” shit.

i fully blame tme/tma terminiology for this, for creating extremely vague terminology to describe a very real AND SPECIFIC axis of oppression that affects trans women every day. trans women are targeted specifically by laws and fascists, and our so called allies are now redefining our language to be meaningless.

i understand the original intent but ultimately. this shit has fucking ruined the word transmisogyny, probably forever. and i am pissed off about it. you may not agree, but i do consider the abbreviations to be in itself trans woman erasure, and in itself TRANSMISOGYNISTIC. i am not a TMA. i am a trans woman. i face transmisogyny.

but now that transmisogyny means “everyone” i cant even find a use for the word to talk about my oppression. so im stuck with “anti-trans woman” or “trannyphobia” idk im working on a replacement. bc we have hit that point of the discourse, where transmisogyny has been stolen from us. and i am fucking livid about it.

You and I have a very opposite view of this and I once again have to say you're giving tma/tme more meaning than they have, they are just meant to use when discussing transmisogyny. The acronyms do not make "transmisogyny for everyone" or whatever and it can't "ruin" the term transmisogyny. Like, I'm sorry but the term transmisogyny never had "claws" or "fangs," if anything it's always been seen as a cringe term by larger society. I just don't see your perspective at all.

[shittyelfwriter]

ALRIGHTY here we are at weeks three and four for the santa clauses series! I did not rewatch a second time because genuinely, these melted my brain. anyway, lets get into it below the cut!

So apparently according to the tsc tag, episode 3 that I missed last week is a sort of filler episode? OH BROTHER REALLY

Normally I would not complain bc I miss old format, 20-23 episode series but because I know this Isn't That? DREAD. how are you going to plot well and good in 7-8eps if some are filler? that is just SO condensed, my guy

Counterpoint to people who were sad about it but: I thought the teen romance was annoying and I'm GLAD they ended it even JUST for a bit (it will come back to haunt again, trust. It’s a disney series ffs.) Whoever is writing this needs to ask a teen about how they talk nowadays. This is not it.

I also think we're driving the whole "Buddy is terrible at everything" punchline WAY past its breaking point. Which I would argue was last season entirely, but. At the very latest, last episode with how heavy on cringe it was. Yes, EVEN for kids/teens.

Again, they are not antagonizing Magnus Antas enough for me to hate him. waaaaay too funny to be a villain. I can't take him seriously and DON'T want to

The way that Noel keeps sideyeing the Betty cutout as if to say "do you see this shit?" during his brunch with the Clauses SENT me tbh. That's bernelle coded and I love it

I do not know why Disney gets OFF on the Clauses being absolutely inept parents but I wish they would stop

SHOUTOUT JUDY OMG JUDY'S ACTRESS THAT’S JUDY JUDY IS HERE YOU GUYS (SCREAMINGGGG)

LOVING the exterior shots of the workshop and Elfsburg. As someone who has POURED over all available screenshots from the movies of those I am LIVING for new angles (even though I do NOT think bernelle would live that close to the Workshop, but it doesn't seem like Betty and Noel can POOF like Bman and Elle can (and do))

I don't know why there are TWO instances of a "misspoken turn of phrase" in this episode but neither were funny and TWO OF THEM was REALLY bad

CHUBBY BUNNY DID NOT EXIST THAT LONG AGO. NOT IN MAGNUS ANTAS' TIME. THAT WAS AN INTERNET FAD LESS THAN TEN YEARS AGO. WHAT ARE WE DOING DUDE. WHAT ARE THESE WRITERS ON (it's not good, I don't want some)

Crossing guard callback? For what? (okay, shrug I GUESS dot meme)

Why does this specific franchise always have to make EB SO WEIRD. WHY. Nothing about this is funny it's just off-putting. Just like the previous EB flirting with Carol's MARRIED MOM in tsc3

This Carol and La Befana scene was actually very good. LOVE it when they actually just let the characters be HONEST with each other. Women supporting women core. Even if Carol's reason for being mad at her was really shallow and obviously stems form Carol's lack of identity as Mrs. Claus because they just cannot wrap that plot point from last season up.

THE LETTERS DEPARTMENT. It looks dope but HATE the explanation for it. Half assed as hell. WARNING! Rant incoming: like from what I know a LOT of postal services have little lore stories about how they get the letters to Santa. WHY COULDNT WE JUST SAY THERE ARE AGREEMENTS BETWEEN SANTA AND OTHER ADULT PEOPLE WHO KEEP THE SPIRIT ALIVE FOR OTHERS AS WELL? Why is this series so obsessed with making everything only powered by magic and never by others (yes, humans) who want to keep the spirit alive as well? It feels like magic is being used as an "explain it all away" crutch narratively. Even in season 1, the "solution" to mass consumerism wasn't for people to be kind to each other and do little things to keep the magical parts of Christmas alive, it was to show the world that magic was real. Season 2 so far, the answer to everything is also just magic. I'm hoping that maybe the B plot with Kris will touch on this. Because as it stands right now, it feels like the writers are talking out of both sides of their mouth. Commercial Christmas is bad, but Kris is a loser for having a Santa theme park. Like?? Homogenization of Christmas is the Big Bad at large, but also up at the Pole they are trying to find ways to do the same thing to be "current". CHRISTMAS IS MULTIFACTED. It is both secular and religious! That is OKAY, I don't even think "woke" people are arguing about that. Sheesh.

Can't believe I'm micro rambling IN my ramble post. New achievement unlocked omg

The way Magnus Antas picks up on modern slang so quickly practically puts Scott to shame. Good for him

AGAIN, the misturn of phrase jokes. DEAD. Not funny. STOP

If they are going to make Sandra so op that she can just Wanda Maximoff chaos magic "I just say something when I'm mad and it happens, anything I want with no negative impact on me" I will not find that swag. That is in fact Mary Sue territory, lads

Sandra's little outburst @ La Befana was giving magical nepo baby for a moment there. Oof. "Too bad I'm just naturally more skilled than you even though I'm new and you've been a witch forever" girl SHUT. UP. You are like a little baby. Also that is so mad disrespectful like no WONDER La Befana is wanting you to slow tf down. You fly off the handle WAY to easily and we ALL know you lose control when you do! Okay loose cannon! Werk!

Riley. Girl. "we never see each other" you were just up at the Pole?? Like. OFTEN?? This is so stupid of a breakup but they are teenagers so go off kids, be dysfunctional or what have you. Rah rah, as Jack would say

Episode four now, lord help us. God has cursed me for my (loving this one Christmas movie series) hubris and my work (watching it's hellish series spin off) is never finished

"Reversing a transformation is never a guarantee" what is this La Befana? the Sims? Sounds like transformation ray odds. Magic is not THAT unpredictable, even by in-universe logic

CURTIS-ITIS!??? CURTIS FUCKING EXPLODED??

ARE YOU SO FUCKING FR RN. SO BERNARD IS MARRIED TO A SENIOR CITIZEN AND CURTIS. FUCKIN VAPORIZED?? FROM STRESS? WHAT'S NEXT? Lemme guess, Judy joined the circus. Quintin is a crypto investor or works for Tesla. WHAT ARE WE D O I N G

Not Scott moving the scissors like he's afraid Buddy will shank him or others?? SIR

SANDMAN AHHHHHHHHHH HELLO SIR /POS :D

So they just con him? As though that's a long term solutio-- OH MY GOD NOT SCOTT USING SANDMAN'S SAND ON SANDMAN HIMSELF?? that's ILLEGALE?? According to tsc3 lore: "We legendaries can't use magic on each other?" I am so bewildered by the level of retcon occurring before my very eyes at BREAKNECK speed

Sandra doesn't need magic she needs THERAPY for her ANGER ISSUES bruh. Damn. She doesn't need a rage room (in someone's house too I might add? okayyyy) she needs to learn to process like a normal human being wtf

Scott being able to look like his normal self whenever he wants and they just didn't tell him? For like. 25 years? Like its clear that by the series standards, the elves think he's a total moron. But it pendulums hard and fast between "haha funny joke" and "damn they really think he ain't shit, huh"

Edie being a fashion diva is such a serve she's grown on me this season ngl

"I had to teach him how to do all the Legendaries jobs" Scott I know you're waffling, absolutely FUMBLING but what the FUCKKKKK is that excuse??? What's Cal going to do? Be EVERY Legendary? TERRIBLE AWFUL HATE IT UNINSPIRED. Not to mention, SOME OF THE OTHER LEGENDARIES MIGHT NOT TAKE THAT NEWS WELL. Some might even feel THREATENED

"The man I die for in my sleep every night" UM? Noel? You okay there bud? Holy heck

THE PURPLE JACKET IS SWAG AND SCOTT IS A HATER. HE CANNOT SEE THE VISION

Do you guys think according to this new lore Edie made Jack's suit? because me thinks PERHAPS

Magnus Antas is kind of popping off, damn. Like I think if the gnomes hadn’t given him MAJOR delusions of grandeur and an ego trip, he could have stayed totally a vibe. But stop giving the Santas snow powers and reconning Jack holy SHIT dude. First Scott now him? HATE IT

The way they made Scott and Cal look when "invisible" is Not a Good Look heck. Its like a bad picsart filter

These Scott visions. I get why, its through the Santa magic, right? But dang its corny

So Scott knows Magnus Antas is back now. Okay. They got away from him. Lost visual on Olga, have a bad feeling she somehow sneaked into the sleigh. Weird cliffhanger but EVERY episode has been like that so far

Final thoughts: I feel like they're definitely trying to make this season take itself less seriously, but I feel like the trade off is that the writers are taking too many liberties for diversions from source material and are therefore, losing the plot entirely and retconning movie lore at will and convenience. Tl;dr, it's messy. Concepts are fun until things just become so irreverent they fall apart or lean into entirely unfunny territory. Which is just a hallmark of T*m All*n brand humor, tee em, but you know.

It feels like this series is doing everything and nothing. It wants woke points, but immediately doubles back and makes fun of those same things. It wants us to feel empathy for these characters, and immediately makes them insufferable. I am so confused as to what the takeaway is supposed to be. It all feels so poorly executed--the series retcons itself constantly, not to mention the movies. I want it to be fun, and to take it at surface value, but if you know literally anything about the movies, that becomes a challenge to do. I'm just so confused dude.

I will be shocked if this gets a third season. Truly.

Also, I miss Betty too, Noel. Wish this whole season was about HER shenanigans, instead.

So. See you all next week then?

[markantonys]

you're watching my lady jane?! i LOVE that show so much, i started it bc i was bored and ended up bingeing the whole thing in about two days (and now i want to do a rewatch lol). it's fantastic 😊

yes!!! i finished it the other day! i could've easily done it all in a day or two but i kept making myself wait to savor it longer haha from the scattered promo/ads i saw beforehand, i thought it might fall more on the cringey side for me and not jive with my sense of humor, but i couldn't have been more wrong! i don't remember the last show where i literally Laughed Out Loud as often as i did with this one - i love how self-aware it is of its own absurdity and how it fully leans into the cringe and ridiculousness, that's exactly what makes it hilarious instead of cringey. it's unhinged in the best way!

also the main romance was genuinely SO good which i was not expecting! arranged-marriage-to-real-love is one of my favorite tropes, and they knocked it out of the park. the actors had excellent chemistry and both did a great job balancing comedy and drama.

and the side characters are all fantastic across the board. frances is THE supreme milf of all time if you ask me, i'm always a huge sucker for the Manipulative Matriarch archetype and she is just fantastic. and she gets a boytoy to boot! just after rand/selene in WOT s2 made me go "goddammit, we need more older woman/younger man romances around here." excellent! and rob brydon who plays lord dudley is the host of "would i lie to you?" which i have loved for several years, so i absolutely lost my shit when he showed up in this scripted show playing a character djdkfjg and he was hilarious in the role! mary made me genuinely angry, which is the sign of a good villain lmao and my sweet edward and elizabeth! and susannah! my only criticism of the show is i wanted 200% more susannah. (susannah/jane/guildford polycule, you heard it here first. jane has 2 hands!)

actually, i have 1 other criticism, and it is during the Dudley Boys Prison Break Attempt when guildford is like "the guards are right behind us, i'll stay behind to fight them so you two can escape" and then he and his dad have a heart-to-heart for like 2 minutes before the guards actually get there, during which time they all could've escaped together lmao but we had to get the drama of guildford not being rescued until the literal last possible second, so i can forgive this!

anyway, things wrapped up pretty satisfactorily so i would be okay if it didn't get a second season, but they did end it like they wanted another season since they drew our attention to several loose ends, and so i'm crossing my fingers!!

[isa-ghost]

Thinking abt how like an entire decade before QSMP, Latin Americans and their culture were already so present in my life and I never really properly thought abt that, or how much I genuinely love and enjoy it.

It fills me with so much nostalgia and I love seeing and hearing about certain Latam things that I already know because I'm already familiar with them from the past.

My closest childhood friends were a massive Puerto Rican family, their mom treated my sister and I like her own. We were taken with on outings, given clothes and meals, spent nearly every day all day hanging out with them either at their place or around my neighborhood.

I was the oldest of the group and would sometimes help look after or play with the toddler of the family, who absolutely fucking adored me. I remember just naturally picking up on (or perhaps autistically echoing) some of their Spanish slang, like "chancla" or "sala," and their mom absolutely thrilled to hear this White preteen just casually using it (and saying it correctly!) I told the toddler to find her chanclas and their mom overheard me and lit up like a Christmas tree about it.

I never bat an eye at how they lived, even if things were dirty or broken or whatever. To my 11+ year old ass, they were just poor like my family. The economy sucks, there are more important things to prioritize besides cleaning and sometimes you just can't afford to fix stuff that's broken. Shrug, it happens. That, and I already had a vague clue at that point that struggling poc families were often given even less help than struggling White families. I just wasn't online enough at that point to hear stories from poc about just how bad the disparities are. But still, even at that age, with barely any clue about the real extent of it, I still never thought about how they lived like a xenophobic asshole would. I just kinda accepted That's How It Be Sometimes and rolled with it. I remember even helping them clean the house sometimes. My sister and I were basically honorary family, so why not?

As I got more self-aware, I'd find it so funny that since I spent so much time with them, I'd catch myself (this time definitely autistically) code switching and talking like them until I went home and eventually went back to speaking like,, idk, an average White Midwesterner I guess?? Sometimes I even catch it happening present day when I hang out for a long time with my irl Mexican friends.

One of my mom's best friends online (who we got to meet in person) was also Latina, and she taught us other misc Spanish words and funny stories about them. To this day my mom, sister & I will yell "AFUERA!" at each other and start giggling. It's especially sweet, because that friend ended up passing away, so now it's kind of said in memory of her. She and one of my mom's other Latina friends taught me baby's first Latin Folklore, which hilariously was La Llorona; it freaked my sister out.

In hindsight, I really deeply appreciate getting to experience and learn about it all firsthand before seeing stuff online. I've realized now that it's given me just a pinch more of an advantage spotting harmful stereotypes and microaggressions (damn, it's almost like if you take the time to learn, you won't be such a shithead /s). Not to mention I knew to ignore any garbage said by racists I encountered irl. I'm not the best at wording things sometimes, so I generally let actual Latin people call out bs like that (that and White Saviorism is cringe), but I always try to be good about boosting what they say and backing them up.

And coming into QSMP last year with all that knowledge through experience (and seeing some posts on here from Latino people abt dif things), it made things so much more fun. I'd hear things I was familiar with and get so excited, which sometimes felt so dumb and silly bc I'm sure from a Latino's POV I was just some random ass gringa getting hyped over the most mundane shit.

But it still made QSMP more fun, and I loved getting to learn even more Latin culture through it, because I've long since fallen out of touch with the family I was friends with, and even so, what I was learning from them was specifically Puerto Rican, Latin USAmerican based. There are so many other places in Latin America I never got to learn about until QSMP. Like holy shit, Brazil is so fucking cool and I want to go there some day so bad.

It's been so fucking cool to learn things from other parts of Latin America, especially from people that actually live in the countries, not just USAmerican Latinos.

Idk, I just found myself reflecting on everything for a moment and I'm realizing just how much I appreciate what I've gotten to learn and experience. Latin Americans and their culture are so fucking cool.