#bc we HAVE and we WILL cause its the same old song and dance and its a GOOD RYTHMN!!!!!

[mail-me-a-snail]

i think there is something very freeing about being in a fandom as old and as widespread as tf2 because everything has been done already and the same concepts someone wrote about 11 years ago will be played with again forever and ever in eternity, with the only uniqueness of it being how that particular person goes about it. it's like two cakes but a whole bakery of cakes

[212-apricity]

mastermind, part five

hey guys😀🔫

first of all im so sorry ik its been literally ten years since the last update but we're backk😋🙌🙌

anyways this used to be called redbone but im changing it to mastermind (the taylor song) bc i feel like it just fits more w the story but heres part five!!

its a short one for now but dw part six and seven are in the making and theyll probably be out later tonight or early tomorrow morning idk

anyways i hope you like this one please lmk and leave me some requests😋🤞

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

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“Good morning,” Harry says, smiling brightly as Hermione and I sit at the table.

“Morning,” we both reply in unison, Hermioen going to say something but is cut off when our attention darts to the old owl that all but crashes into our food on the table, sending bowls of cereal and plates of toast flying into the air.

“Ron! Get your owl in check!” I yell as Hermione magics away the spilt milk on my robes, leaving them brand new.

“Sorry, sorry. God this bird’s going to be the death of me.” Ron replies as he detaches the box in the owl's claws before shooing it away.

“What’s that?” Harry asks, pointing at the box curiously as Ron goes to open it and pulls out a long black robe with white ruffles at the collar.

“Mum’s sent me a dress!” Ron says in horror as he stares down at the old thing.

“Well, it does match your eyes. Is there a bonnet? Aha!” I shout through my laughter, pulling out a white collar with a black bow and holding it up at Ron’s neck.

“Oh shut up Y/N. You’re not funny.” Ron says dismissively as he walks over to Ginny and continues,

“Ginny here, these must be for you.”

“I’m not wearing that, it’s ghastly.” she says looking up at the dress in disgust.

Hermione lets out a fit of giggles as Harry and I smack each other, laughing at Ron, unable to control ourselves.

“What are you on about?” Ron asks confused.

“They’re not for Ginny, you idiot, they’re for you!” I shout as the Gryffindors around us join in on the laughter.

“They’re dress robes,” Hermione adds, calming down slightly.

“Dress robes, for what?” Ron responds with frustration in his voice.

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“The Yule Ball has been a Hogwarts tradition since its inception,” McGonagall’s voice booms in the large room filled with girls on one side and boys on the other. Hermione and I softly giggle as we make small quips about how uncomfortable Harry and Ron look, having to sit next to Theo and Draco.

“On Christmas Eve night, we gather in the Great Hall for a night of well-mannered frivolity,” she says as she glides around the room, eyeing Harry and Draco as they make faces at each other, causing them to stop almost immediately.

“I expect each and every one of you to put your best foot forward. And I mean this literally as the Yule Ball is, as you know, first and foremost, a dance,” she says, sending the girls into excited conversations and the boys into a sea of annoying groans.

“Silence!” she shouts over the noise, clapping her hands together over her head, “Our school has commanded the respect of the wizarding world for over 10 centuries. And I will not have you, in the course of a single evening, besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons.” she finishes, sending everyone into quiet laughter. I look up from my fixed gaze at McGonagall at Theo who snickers softly and looks at me before mouthing, “Try saying that five times fast.”

I smirk as I try whispering it as he does the same, before McGonagall walks over in front of us, breaking our gazes at each other. “Now, to dance,” she says, waving her arms around gracefully, turning to the girl's side, saying, “is to let the body breathe. Inside every girl, a secret swan slumbers…longing to burst forth and take flight.”

She turns to the boys, cutting off whatever snide remark Ron was making, “Inside every boy, a lordly lion prepared to prance. Mr Weasley.”

She walks over to Ron swiftly as he cowers slightly, looking immensely uncomfortable as she asks him to join her.

“...Yes?”

Harry looks over at Hermione and me and we smirk at Ron as McGonagall lectures him how to put his hands on her waist.

They dance for a minute before McGonagall calls everyone over and tells us to partner up, and Theo comes up to me with a hand behind his back. “Join me for this dance?” he says jokingly as he bows forward slightly and puts one hand out making me smile and reach out for his hand before I swiftly grab Harry’s from behind him and say, “Sorry maybe next time!” over my shoulder, sending him into laughter, shaking his head as Harry looks up at me quizzingly.

“Leaving him wanting more?” he smiles at me, “Yep, I learned from the best.” I joke, referencing the endless amounts of times Harry and Ginny have gotten close but have never made anything official.

He rolls his eyes and says, “Shut up.”

“Have you even asked her yet?” I ask as we sway to the music, “Not yet, I think I’ll do it tonight…if Ron doesn’t interrupt us again that is.”

“Don’t worry,” I say nodding my head over to the other side of the room where Ron and Hermione are trying to dance, “I think he’s got other things to worry about.”

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“We really need to get a move on, otherwise we’ll be the only ones without dates,” Ron whispers to Harry as we try and recreate the potion Slughorn’s just shown us.

Harry doesn’t say anything as he smiles to himself and focuses back on his potion, making me smile softly in return knowing he’s probably asked Ginny by now and she's said yes.

“What are you smiling about?” Theo asks, interrupting me from my thoughts as he adds fluxweed into our potion and looks at me confusingly. “No reason.” I smile up at him, noticing the ring I gave him on his finger.

“So,” I say, taking my seat as we wait for our potion to boil.

“So?” he replies, taking his seat next to me and resting the bottom side of his jaw in his hand with his elbow on the table, staring at me with his blue eyes.

“Yule Ball’s in a few days, have you found a date yet?”

“Mm no not yet. Why do you ask?” he smirks.

“Oh no, no reason.” I stutter, feeling embarrassed, as I try to distract myself with the brew in front of us.

“So your bruises have healed,” I say, reaching out and holding his face to the side to examine the area they used to be on top of his sharp cheekbone. “Mhm. All better now.” He smiles.

I sigh and say, “You shouldn’t have done that you know.” “Why not? I’d do it for Blaise or Pansy or even Draco, I’d do it for any of my friends, so why not you? Especially you.” he mutters the last bit silently but my ears catch it before it disappears, making blood rush to my ears and cheeks.

“A friendship between a Gryffindor and Slytherin is unheard of. Especially considering your family and my best friends, what makes you so confident in ours?”

“I don’t know. You’re…different,” he says, standing up, “You’re not like those other Gryffindors. They’re too proud.”

I laugh after him, gathering my own things as he goes to give Slughorn our finished potion, “You Slytherin lot aren’t all that humble anyways.”

“No Star, we just know our worth.” he winks back at me as he leaves and I notice something on his side of the desk. A little envelope with my name on it.

I open it to find,

“Meet me in the Astronomy Tower after curfew. Bring a jacket.”

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“You took your time,” Theo says as I walk up the stairs, holding two cups of hot chocolate for him and me.

“Shut up, I was bribing one of the elves to give me whipped cream in these this time.” I hold one of the drinks up to him to take it before he grabs both out my hands and puts them down on the floor,

“You shouldn’t have, we won’t need them.” He smiles mischievously before taking my hand and running down the large, empty corridors.

“Theo stop! Where are we going?!” I whisper yell out of surprise, grabbing his hand tighter as I run to keep up with him. “You’ll see!” He says over his shoulder, leading us out the castle and giving a few galleons to the prefect keeping watch at the door.

“Come on,” he says softly now, both of us panting from the run.

The cold wind hits me in the face and immediately sends a shiver up my spine, making me pull my jacket up slightly to cover my exposed neck.

Theo lets go of my hand and pulls his black, green and silver Slytherin scarf off and wraps the cloth around my neck, 

“Theo, will you stop being a prick and at least tell me where we’re going?”

He grabs my arm and links it in with his before saying, “We’re almost there.”

I look up at him as we walk in comfortable silence, the soft moonlight reflecting on his sharp features, his rosy cheeks and the cold vapour coming from his pink nose as he breathes and he turns to me giving me a big smile as he stops walking, turns me around and covers my eyes.

“Theo what now? You drag me out of the warm castle and make me freeze out here in the stupid snow and you didn’t even let me drink my hot chocolate and you won’t even tell me where we’re going and I’m probably going to get hypothermia at this point because of you.” I finish my rant as he turns me around, slowly removing his cold fingers from my eyes.

“Shut up and open your eyes, you drama queen.”

I can hear the smile in his voice as I open my eyes and see a big tree with a covering on top, looking like a den adorned in fairy lights and snowflake decorations. A red checkered picnic blanket resting on the ground along with my favourite pastries, hot chocolates and movies all set up on a projector facing the castle. Snowflakes all form one sentence above the movie projector screen playing Tangled, making my breath stop and a huge grin form on my lips.

Will you get tangled with me at the ball?

I turn around to find a flustered-looking Theodore with his hands in his pocket, nervously looking down at me waiting for my reaction. “You did this?” I ask with a quizzical smile on my face, still in disbelief that he went through all this effort for me.

“Yeah. Well I mean Blaise, Mattheo and Pansy helped me. Draco tried but he wasn’t any good so I got Pansy to instead. And I asked Hermione for all your favourite movies and I’ve seen you with all these pastries and hot chocolates a lot this time of year so I thought you’d like them. But I mean if you don’t that’s perfectly fine, I can scrap it all and we can pretend like this never happened and-”

“Yes.” I interrupt his rant with a smile on my face, admiring his stress over whether I’d like the gesture or not.

“And I- Sorry?” He asks breaking his rant confusingly with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Yes, I love it and I’d love to go to the ball with you Theodore.”

“Oh, I- Okay well. Okay. That’s great, that’s…Wow.” He stutters out, surprised at my response.

Theodore Nott stuttering? Nervous? When did that happen? I think to myself as he composes himself again and asks, “Shall we?” pointing to the blanket and movie playing on the projector.

I nod, smiling brightly up at him as I give him a side hug. He tenses for a moment before wrapping his arms around me and hugging back tightly.

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part five done!!

lmk what you think and send me requests<33

taglist:

@harrysnovia @timmytime17 @cherry-hoe @jetblackpayne @ash-tarte @coolestgirlhere @lilianelena39

[pumpkinsy0]

its haitian heritage month so now i HAVE to drop haitian shepard hcs every day especially the first day so bere we go🙄🙄

•ok so tanbou is the national instrument for haiti and i wholeheartedly feel like the shepards just,,,have one,,,chillin in their living room

•sometimes they fuck around w it, and by they i mean curly, just to fuck around w it he likes banging on things

•they absolutely love chiritos like omg they just have a big bin of them

•angela typically wears her headwrap at home, she wants her hair to breath but she also doesnt want it in the way, its something that followed her from her move from haiti🙏🏽🙏🏽

•literally the ONLY thing curly is ever allowed to touch while someone is cooking is the pilon (this thing used to crush up spices)

•angela gets too tired too fast trying to use it and tim is always busy trynna do somethin else, curly got that strength and rage to keep crushin those spices✊🏽✊🏽

•they literally love diri ak kalalou, mostly for the rice and sauce bc they arent PUSSIES who only eat the MEAT

•actually maybe they r pussies, angela and curly hate beans and so many haitian foods have beans in them so they take like 5 mins picking the beans out

•theyre all rum and raisin ice cream luvrs i wont apologize for this its so good man

•if there’s one thing spoiled haitian girls are always gonna be called, it’s fonfon, angela’s nickname right behind angel is fonfon (u pronouns it fah-fon, the on is said like the word on)

•keeping up this ‘them living in haiti’ hcs but listen to me,,,they’d live in one of those creole style houses in cap-haïtien or at least generally in one of those old houses in cap-haïtien bc those houses have my heart actually

•theres this thing called peinture à l’eau (in french) or peinti kò/peinti in kreyòl and its basically where u paint ur body for kanaval or rlly any celebriation, and thats what its always used for BUT sometimes ppl use it as just casual self expression and i think angela would do that and just, force curly and tim to do the same

•when sylvia comes over they just paint each other and dally comes up cause its time to go hes just like “what???happened here???” and sylvias like “dw bout it”

•sylvia loves cola lacaye and pat n to ice cream, the shepards have a few tubs of it and she just steals it like they wont fucking notice🤨🤨

•dally loves it too so he just lets her lol

•theres this game in haiti where everyone is in a circle with someone in the middle and theres this song playing, and the person in the middle has to look around for someone to dance w (presumably their crush) and sance gouyad (this dance) with them, so just hear me out,,, purly playing the game, WOAH

•angela and sylvia playing childhood haitian games>>>>

•like they WERE gossiping but holy fuck SOMETIMES they just wanna jump around and play and giggle and who r we to hate on em

[sanspuppet]

it was his look in the suits that really get me cause guys dont really dress like that anymore, it was so old school and honestly he looks so good in suits it rlly suits him (excuse le pun) and yes i agree a lot of younger idols obvi prefer younger age women / girls. sighhhh. i will just wait till im dead then i can at least be with elvis. literally the only plus side from being mildly older is getting to experience an internet free childhood the downside is everyones hooked online and we cant escape it. otherwise i could live a bit more freely without fretting about age or comparing myself to others and whatnot. also i will probs be dead by the time half these newer generation groups even get married. rip me once again

idfk anymoreee its so weird to think that some 5/6/7 years ago kpop was just gaining popularity and obvi bts and blackpink and nct were go to groups now theres hundreds of them but theyre all like 99 or 00 liners and im like yeah noooo not "stanning" them for me. ik they wouldnt particularly judge older fans bc musics for any age but even so ngl its fucking weird like why cant there be more older groups too or they just going to disband and or retire or go into the military? san in military uniform... n im dead.

i think the thing i like about ateez they do have a rebel punky look to them like they look like villains from a kdrama or general bad boys on stage its so cool, different n hot at the same time, other groups should take some notes. i think newer kpop groups going to struggle vocally anywah cause every song got to have clean performance

mamamoo are so great cause they sing so well and they have minimal dancing which is nice compared to newer girl groups where its all dance glitz and glam or they look dainty and doll like, it sometimes isnt really relatable imho. it just doesnt hold my interest in them fully cause its not my personal taste or again their age might be lack in experience if any of this makes sense? i cant get a time machine and go back to the 50s and the only other relevant music nowadays is kpop so either they should bring more variety or i will eventually forget about kpop cause its always the samey tiktok stuff

sorry my paragraphs are so long cant just sum it up in short sentences

i read all of this but i cannot formulate a reply for all the things you wrote 😭😭 what can i say except that i agree with you, the ateez vibes and energy that comes from all their lore is just on another level

(and talking about military san… 🫣 hehe you’ll see)

[olivieraa]

I've a busy few days ahead but can't start anything for another 3 so I'm wasting time by doing this for my own curiosity cause why not

so my abridged run-through with my niece continues, and I have a few opinions on the abridged series this time around

but before the opinions, I wanna figure out the timeline (not highly in depth, but partially, bc it'll still be a long post even without me going into depth).

2007-2008 - is when I believe the show started.

the channel itself was made in 2007, but ep 1 doesn't have its original date under it as it is a reupload. the reason I know is bc ep 31 says 2008, but eps 1-30 say 2009 which is obviously wrong. I do remember Konami or something kept getting LK's videos flagged.

oh and these eps during this time were uploaded weekly.

I think, and its not definite, that I may have started watching the show around the time when these eps came out:

2010 - is when I personally got into the show. there's a CHANCE it was 2009, but I'm going with 2010 for simplicity's sake.

my life during 2010. I was just finishing up school and was about to move to our 6th house. I'd just turned 18 as well. I remember joking about the abridged in school with some friends. in fact, I skipped school a lot and chilled in a friend or two's house while we watched it, and then referenced it a lot. when I turned 18, I went to my first nightclub that night and on the dance floor, Bad Romance by Gaga came on and instead of singing "love love love I want your love" I sang "tush tush tush right on my tush" bc I'd honestly forgotten what the real lyrics were. I was even poking my friends ass. she liked my lyrics better (she had no idea what it was from tho lol). but yes 2 days later I moved away and began my first of my four years of isolation. the abridged itself, anime in general, online friends and tumblr became the winning combo for the following 3-4 years of my life, from 2010 (when I moved away) to 2014.

so I was online a lot for those years. I lived in nowhere land. imagine your house smack dab in this with one neighbour, as an 18 year old

so yes, I was online a lot. I had time to be. I had time for anime.

still 2010 - the first time I can see a big gap are these eps from 2010 during the Noah arc (aka season 3 of both ygo and ygo abridged). 48 being ep 1 of the Noah arc

48 - Aug 2010

49 - Sep 2010

50 - Nov 2010

51 - Apr 2011

so the first couple of Noah's arc eps were monthly, like usual. like how I always knew then. and then there was a bit of a jump 4 eps into Noah's arc at ep 51. but here's the thing... LK filled up a lot of space around this time with side videos. from song parodies, to the evil council of doom, to con promo vids, to just fun extras. majority of which I forgot about until right now

I esp forgot about these, they defo need a rewatch

but I'll wait till my niece is back over cause she'll definitely love that first one.

2011 - I met LK twice at two different cons during when those above Noah arc eps would've been coming out at that new slower pace, so I know he was at peak busy that specific year and the episodes were hotly anticipated at the time. so he really was doing his best. uploading not monthly anymore but still releasing fun vids in between, AND going to cons. plus like, his own personal life and issues to deal with. so it was all still steady going.

online wise for me after I'd moved, I was frequenting youtube the most to talk to people (and fanfiction for alone time lol). but mid or late 2011, I joined tumblr the same time as those youtube friends, so we chatted on here the most and youtube got lost in the abyss. and so during 2011, during my new tumblr time, ep 52 and 53 came out. and yeah, ygo was what my online friends and I found the most common ground in and that included the abridged series. the ygo fandom was growing on tumblr because of the abridged.

so ep 53 was in July 2011 but then a big gap happened and episode 54 was FEB 2012

2012 - I met rp!Florence the exact next day, Feb 8th, so I'm thinking the release of this ep (LK's first ep in after a 7 month gap) inspired the decision behind making Flo? idk.

(so I now know, thanks to making this post, that when I was online in 2012 rping and shit, the Noah's arc was near ending. but also, it had completely stopped its monthly drop at this point, which I remember was annoying, y'know, rping with an abridged character who had to take more from canon!ygo than abridged!ygo bc there was so little to go on. the pro side of that tho, is that you'd get really excited when an ep did appear. more so than before. tumblr pm went like this

so that above ep (54, Feb 7th) up to episode 58 were all done in 2012. almost like an ep was dropped per weather season. and I remember this one so well because

I got a tonne of anon messages calling my Joey 'Susan' :')

so it went from weekly, to monthly, and then as of 2012, once every 4 months.

2013 comes along - and... the first episode of that year is in JULY, and the second and only other one in 2013 was September. again, this was during my constantly online rp time. so when they did drop, it really was like

2013 had just two eps. that's it.

aaaaand... it's kind of been that way ever since. so I was right in thinking it was 2013 when the eps slowed down and became the official beginning of the rarely out eps. the past 10 years now LK will release just one or two eps a year. no side videos either, no con promos (idk if he goes to cons but he defo doesn't promo them), he did a bunch of Marik Plays Bloodlines but then stopped that and it hasn't been updated in 7 years. and he officially moved onto talking about wrestling and reviewing YGO GX.

and so here's how I feel.

first of all, the Noah's arc was out way earlier than I thought it was. I know it was still going in 2012, but I thought it started in 2012, when in actuality, it was going for 2 years, since 2010. during the time I was in school! I was shocked learning that. I also consider Noah's arc to be the worst arc, but I didn't think that while watching it back in the day, just upon rewatch

watching the show now in my 30's and passing it onto my niece (she's prob too young for it but she does love the kid friendly jokes, also she thinks I'm like Kaiba and she's Mokuba) it has a heavy nostalgic feel to it ofc. like I said, it was around during very specific times in my life, when it needed to be basically, and during the past 10 years, it became the "oh hey, a new ep just dropped on youtube" show that you don't think about UNTIL an ep drops. you're not waiting for it. it just appears. and when it does you're like :))) and you pick up from where you left off bc its easy enough to do without looking back on past eps bc its... well its a parody. there's no solid "plot"

to "review" it in a sense.... ok. in 2012... I was just happy to have an episode bc like I said, they weren't monthly anymore. and there was always something funny about them. whether it was one joke or four jokes. however, I didn't notice it then, but the quality dropped significantly (but luckily picked up by the end of 2012 and did eventually get better)

so where the bad starts imo... if you watch this episode (the last episode RIGHT before the Noah's arc, an early 2010 ep), its full of classic moments

its highly quotable and its memorable. this could be due to LK's favouritism towards Marik so he puts his best jokes onto Marik like "use the celtic guardian aibouuu" to "a rhetorical WANKER" to "you tell 'em, honey!" and then the Stand By Me singing. its a v good, memorable ep.

ep 47, the first ep of Noah arc, follows it and it... just goes downhill. all of Noah's arc is quite bad, and the main problem I found while rewatching, was that the jokes were draaaaagged out. the penguin thing, the stairs thing, Tristan being a "funny guy", and lots more. it was annoying. and the additional voice actors weren't good either, with the exception of two of them sounding almost exactly like the dub voices, so I'll give them credit for that

now like I said, LK was at his busiest in 2011 (which would have been exclusively Noah's arc eps which are the worst eps), and it was straight after Noah's arc that he uploaded less frequently. and he was diagnosed with depression which probably affected him during this whole arc and so he basically knew, to give out the quality people wanted, he had to resort to taking more time for himself and uploading less. and for his health it was obviously the best decision, but even for his channel it was too.

so to repeat - end of 2012 saw the end of Noah's arc and I remember this ep dropping and everyone quoting it

and also this one like I already said

they still weren't LK's best but they were better. and the abridged was important to me in 2012 eps considering I had an abridged partner, so we were always happy to get new content.

this 2013 ep to me was the return of classic abridged

it was so good that my friend at the time changed her username to one of the quotes from the ep. and why was it so good? bc there was a 7 month gap between this ep and the last, and like I said, uploading less frequently ended up working wonders for LK. he had time to plan it well.

2014 - end of season 3 (noahs arc and battle city combine. just 3 eps that year

2015-2018 - season 4

2019&2020 - nothing

2021-2025 - season 5, ongoing.

so anyone that has seen the original YGO knows season 5 has two parts. the grand champion ship part that nobody likes (14 eps), and the Egyptian arc which finally gives Bakura the spotlight (26 eps).

he is currently still in that first part, and has prob 3 more eps left of it.

so yes, he uploaded nothing in all of 2019 and 2020, which I honestly would've thought during the pandemic it would be the change he'd needed to be able to upload more frequently. but nope, it was all this instead

he only returned then in 2021 and so far has released just 4 eps from 2021 to 2024.

that Joey one being only a couple of months ago.

so its for sure at a super slow once a year pace.

ngl, I am curious about his mindset, but this stems from my own ignorance, and I'm sure with a bit of research (and profile stalking) I could probably figure out why its so rare. but I don't care that much despite this post. like I can say - why doesn't he upload a slight bit faster (nobody is out here waiting for an ep a month, but at least 3 eps a year?). or I can think - does he still think fans from 15 years ago are gonna stick with him to the end? does he think his fans are that die hard?

but again, being ignorant - idk how youtube works. idk how creators get paid. idk if he gets paid for the eps. idk if he gets paid more (or only) for non eps (and so therefore abd eps are the last things he wants to do bc no pay). idk if this is his job or he has a day job. idk what his current health status is. idk if he's still doing the eps just to finish the show or bc he actually likes doing it. idk how he views the fact that majority of old fans are prob not around anymore. idk if he's actually online all the time, just not on youtube.

I don't know.

I quickly checked just there and he's still frequenting twitter

but also

what

there's drama in the abridged world????

I'm.................. so out of touch.

how active is the abridged fandom even. are they all gen z. are they all offended by the old jokes, I assume so tbh

I'm bewildered, don't care enough, but still curious

for another day I think........

BUT ANYWAYS. yeah, I just needed to waste time. this show was special to me at one point. never thought I'd be watching it with my 7 year old niece. she's addicted. she can't wait till bed time. this is her bed time story. Joey is her fave, so she was raised right. ...even if that's a different type of Joey it still applies.

I... think I'll be watching this show up until it ends. I'm not really a social media person. Im not subbed to many on youtube. but I never unsubbed LK so I see the eps drop randomly sometimes a year. and in another 10 years (I mean at this pace, probably) I'll most likely still be watching it. I'm generally smiling the whole time anyways

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

i want a crop top shirt with the words creepuh with blood dripping off it on the front sewn with red thread and on the back its two hearts dancing.

Oh Louis so tired. The way he walking up to the door. He did NOT NEED THIS LESTAT. Trouble in both homes on the same night. Lestat truly is family. Giving Louis stress as soon as he get’s home in a way only family can.

Lestat could not have been more wrong.

y’all the whole house shaking!! the fucking chandelier bopping. omg

there was a really great post about the song their singing. i wish i kept better track of these things.

They showed the fuck up for these scenes. They went for it. They supported each other. They gave it their all. Award worthy performances from both of them.

You can refer to my earlier linked post about how Lestats actions sort of mirror his families. but i’ll add an image of the tags i included bc. i managed to make a point that was good enough to stand by.

We see Lestat leaning more and more into his power advantage to suit his needs/feelings/expectations etc. etc.

He’s the pitiful broken and hurt husband neglected and hurt by his scorned wife who is actually the one who broke the rules of their agreement by the newly established in the moment rule that he can’t open relationships to his old flames bc every knows old flames don’t flame out as quickly as new flames (even tho Antoinette is a flame that flamed on for faarr too long while Louis never saw Jonah again, which he doesn’t ever acknowledge). All this while using his powers to clear a room full of people. this is not to deny him his feelings. he is feeling broken. and he is feeling hurt. But, he’s not Louis’ victim in this. Most importantly he’s acting out due to consequences of his own actions. He is the one who barreled through the fractures of their agreement causing the break.

Lestat: I don’t like sharing.

Not with books, not with businesses, not with his family, not with Jonah. and certainly not with humanity.

[Lestat tries to play beyoncé’s ring the alarm, but Louis tells alexa to skip to daddy lessons]

iwtv ep 3 rewatch thoughts

Louis: I don’t want you kill people anymore, there it is.

Lestat: A fish that doesn’t swim. A bird refusing to fly.

I’m borrowing this statement to use for Louis in this moment - I believe this is when Lestat diagnoses Louis with hysteria.

In this scene the power imbalance between them becomes defined more by patriarchal gender dynamics. Lestat dives into a more rigid paternalistic approach when dealing with what he perceives to be Louis’ irrational shame of being a vampire and going against his very nature despite what Lestat has been trying to teach him. This reading of their relationship is intentional. so much so that while he says this the focus of the camera pans out to frame a shot of Antoinette walking past and there’s a parallel shot of Louis and Lestat sitting at a table next to another couple, a man and a woman who are presumably husband and wife, where both husbands’ (Lestat and the man) gazes follow after Antoinette and Louis and the wife literally notice at the same time. This is them (as in the writers etc. etc.) being really over handed about what they’re implying about Loustat’s relationship/marriage/companionship moving forward. Louis is literally sitting on the same side the wife is sitting and Lestat the husband. Antoinette poses a very similar threat to both Louis and the wife who is a bw (only her black husband could die behind Antoinette, at worst, given the era).

For what it’s worth (not much) I don’t think Lestat is actively plotting in the sense of being aware that he is forcing a gendered hat on Louis that doesn’t fit. I think he believes that this is a role Louis is suited for, especially if he’s drawing from the trauma of his relationship with his mother and the ways Louis might remind him of her. What I mean by that is his focus is on the front he see that Louis is putting on. He thinks he’s removing the offending hat Louis is, for a reason he can’t understand (and won’t bother to), clinging to. I think he believes the final frontier of Louis’ problems is simply submitting to his vampire nature (and to him lbfr) which i talked about in the tenor scene. (He doesn’t realize he hasn’t escaped the confines of humanity, he just benefits from them more in a way that lends to his ability to live as if they don’t apply to him)

Louis’ acting like he’s not a vampire and Lestat likens this to his business “a cover, an illusion to throw off the scent of the dogs.” The section of the Azalea where they are engaging in “polite conversation,” where the word “vampire” is off limits is a front for the nefarious business of trafficking women where consumption of bodies is allowed as long as Louis can separate himself from it. Pimping hidden in the shadows of the Azalea, the way he seeks to hide his vampirism in the shadows of his humanity. Bluffing is fine in a game of poker against humans Lestat believes is beneath him—against human’s he naively believes he elevated Louis above by giving him the dark gift—but it’s no way to live as a Vampire and it’s no way to love Lestat.

This is most offensive to Lestat, and I don’t doubt concerning given the impact it will have on Louis. Lestat: “You’re going to struggle. I fear for the feline population of New Orleans.”

He’s being really snarky about this, but I believe he means it. Louis’ hunger will not be satiated by eating cats or other small animals. He will be weakened physically and mentally by it. Lestat drives this point in by saying he’s gonna render them extinct in the area, behind this reluctance to kill or feed from humans. Lestat fails to see Louis is trying to regain some semblance of control over his life where he has very little control over how so many things are playing out against his favor even with the success of the Azalea which is unstable. There’s also the situation with his family. The fact that he has to kill to survive but doesn’t want to. the fact that he believes himself already damned, but still full of shame and guilt. Then as things worsen between him and Lestat etc. etc. He needs something to control.

Lestat sees this as more than just a moral quandary just not in the way it could have lent to the understanding of Louis so much as it clearly imo pokes at Lestat’s insecurities about whether he can be loved for who he is fully. He sees himself as above humanity, fully immersed in being a vampire and proud too and Louis is rejecting that so in a way, to Lestat, he’s rejecting him and the dark gift he’s given. He thinks he’s being played the fool. (“I can pretend the fool”). Louis agreed to all these things and now he’s switching up and holding out. (marriage contract etc. etc.) Lestat overcorrects so egregiously he’s the agent to his own fear being realized—the threat of Louis leaving him.

I don’t think i’m saying anything of a revelation to say Lestat can stop himself from acting out. I don’t think it’s anything new to say he has a clear need and demand for attention. He immediately follows this up with causing a scene and performing. He hops on stage and plays the piano for and with the people of the Azalea—what Louis seems more inclined to give his time and energy to rather then enjoying being a vampire and his new life with Lestat. Plus It’s not like it doesn’t work a little. Louis’ in 2020 in Dubai with a whole new husband crediting his white ex for something i doubt he actually was the catalyst for. idk I have my doubts about his claim about the Wolverine Blues. I think Danny being openly and immediately doubtful, as far as to play it, was intentional in making us question that as well imo.

He does this again tho. In part because it sort of worked in his favor this time especially since he threw the scent of this being what he does when he feels threatened (which i believe to be the main reason he does it again) to he was helping Louis out bc the pianist was gonna leave Louis. An interesting redirection considering this is a reaction to the fear that Louis will leave him. He’s playing poker. and he sort of* won this hand. So yeah he does it again, but more manically, later on with Louis’ preference of military men (i just know he thought about that sailor at the bar and it sent him over the edge) when he sees Louis would rather let an old flame do him “some face” (🤭) and eat a dog than fuck him and feed with him. but let’s not jump ahead. let’s let ep3 seduce us as Louis has been seduced!!!

antoinette brown said she gone be here all night y’all she really claimed the eternal night from jump. you can see the moment Lestat gets the idea to torment Louis with the “rotisserie chicken” (🤭 anon you will always be famous). She passed by and he turned so quick to Louis all bright eyed like “you’re going to struggle” ☹️ knowing he gonna be the agent of that particular struggle.

*i say sort of bc Louis is impressed by the scene he created when he starts playing, and it probably smoothed things over that night, but he doesn’t budge on his disordered eating bc that’s not how it works Lestat!!!! (“did i forget to mention i’m terrible at this game” or something to that effect)

[reidsnose]

love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

-

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

-

-

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

[bundyshoes]

Passing it on 👀 What are your top ten favorite songs for Bileven and why? 🥰

OOOF GURLLLLL this is really hard lolol

Umm okay i have a lot but if i HAD to narrow it down to 10 it’d be:

STUCKINMYBRAIN by Chase Atlantic

I made my first bileven vid to this song, the lyrics just fully encapsulated what billy went through plus it showcases how similar el and billy are:

“Not long 'til she figures out and moves

Sad song, sad story with a history of abuse, oh, yeah

She gets sentimental like her mum does

I get sentimental when I'm on drugs

We get sentimental 'bout the same stuff”

“Find out if you love me

While I find out how to move

'Cause I'm stuck in my brain again”

“Yeah, not long 'til the blues hit

Not long 'til she figures out I'm useless

Say I'm sorry that I sound like my dad, how sad

But I'm trying to make myself a better person”

Graveyard by Halsey

I just think of El coming to him in the Void and following him into his memories and seeing who he really is, all the way into the core of himself where the worst trauma happened/where he ‘died’ essentially — following him into the graveyard

Running up that Hill by Meg Myers

I had this one and the Placebo version on my playlist for them wayyy before s4 came out bc i KNEW 😂😂 but meg’s version is just so 🤌🤌 SO GOOD

Hungry Eyes by Eric Carmen

Dirty Dancing is pretty much one big ass bileven au — u cannot TELL ME baby doesnt remind u of el (even the dad of hopper lolol) and johnny is literally billy lol, the old ladies taking advantage and mullet and everything 😩😩 but also this line takes me back to the first moment they meet in real life, at heathers, and their eyes meet and CLASH and then they be lookin at each other a loooot after that

Lost Boy by The Midnight

This song is s3 from billys pov. Nuff said

Youth by Daughter

This has me thinking of el’s thoughts post s3/starcourt and thinking/remembering billy

“But I’m forever missing him.”

Moonrider by Wrabel and Jai Wolf

I made a video to it and YOU KNOWWWWW and its just. The lyrics thooo and that 80s vibess

Is it a Sin? by Al Hazan

THE HEATHERS HOUSE SCENE HAD THIS PLAYING WHEN EL MEETS BILLY IN REAL LIFE AND THE IMPLICATIONS OF IT AND EVERYTHING ELSE MAKE ME WANNA SCREAMMMM

Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift

Literally s3 😭😭😭 honestly anything about summer romance reminds me of them but this one in particular :”)))

The Day I Lost You by Stilz

This played over speakers at HHN 29, when they had s2/3 ST for one of the houses and it just SOUNDS like something straight out of the show and it just takes me to starcourt basically 🙃🙃😭😭😭

I literally have so many tho, i have a playlist well over 1k lmaoooo and i WAS gonna post a link here but tumblr wont let me lol

Thank you for the ask!! 💖💖💖

[nothinghcppens]

small talk- pietro maximoff

part 2

part 1 here

masterlist

pair: pietro maximoff x female!reader

summary: after being apart of the team of super soldiers that hydra experimented on, y/n was one of the successful experiments and had been released to the world. the winter soldier and the siren had become the most prolific assassin duo in the world. but what happens when they get taken in by the avengers? what happens when she meets a particularly fast superhero with an attitude?

warnings: swearing, mentions of trauma, alcohol, kissing but like only that, minor sexual jokes

a/n: hi !! i just wanted to say thank you so much for all the love and support of part 1 of small talk and bad liar omg <3 i also wanted to add a taglist to future fics so let me know if you want added it! make sure to specify if you want to be added to the marvel or the harry potter one bc i have a harry potter fic in the works rn! also i’m gonna write a part three that’s just cute bc i want to keep writing this character heheh

“wake up!” splash.

the feeling of cold water hitting your face shocked you awake and you sat up with a gasp. trails of blue flashed from beside your bed and out the door, the clang of a bucket hitting the floor. “pietro maximoff. i am going to kill your speedy ass!” you shouted, jumping out of bed. not even caring that you were only in a t-shirt and shorts, you chased after him, following the blue light.

the trails stopped eventually, and so did you. you glanced around, listening for any sign of him. you crept over to one of the couches and grabbed a pillow as a weapon. “where are you?” you called, i’m a sing-song voice.

you walked around the room, “come on, don’t hide from me now.” the faint sound of his breathing was heard along with the dripping water from your hair and t-shirt. you followed the sound of his shallow breaths to the island in the kitchen. you dropped the pillow, climbed up on the island and crawled across it before swung your head over the edge, in front of his. “hey there.

he gasped, “shit.” you flipped your hair back up and sat back on your knees. pietro stood up and turned to face you before bursting into fits of laughter.

“i don’t know what’s funny.” you mumbled, glaring up at him.

“yes you do, you look ridiculous.” he huffed between laughs.

“i won’t look ridiculous when i’m putting a bullet through your head.” you spat.

“calm down, love. it’s only a bit of fun.” he said.

“i was sleeping piet!” you protested. you moved your legs so that they were dangling off the edge.

“okay, i’m sorry. i’m sorry!”

“you better be. i’ll get you back though.”

he stepped forward and leaned his hands on the island, on either side of you. “will you, yeah?”

his head was an inch away from yours, you could feel his breath against your face. you saw his eyes drift from your eyes to your lips and back up again. he leaned in slightly and your breathing quickened. “what’re you doing?” you whispered.

“what do you think i’m doing?” he replied in the same hushed tone.

“something you should’ve done a long time ago.” you leaned in towards him, lips almost touching.

“good morning!” cap announced, walking into the kitchen, looking at his phone. you two broke apart quickly, pietro speeding and grabbing you a glass of orange juice and ten occupying himself by looking at something in the cupboard.

“hey cap.” you croaked, voice uneasy from the nerves coursing through your body. “morning steve.” pietro greeted, closing the cupboard and standing next to you on the counter. steve didn’t look up from his phone and didn’t notice your wet hair and clothes

“how’s our newest recruit?” he asked as he grabbed a mug from one of the shelves.

“steve, i’ve been here for like 6 months!” you complained.

he put the mug in the coffee machine and pressed a few buttons, “and? you’re still the newest.”

“might be the newest but i could still take you down old man.”

“don’t get too cocky kid, i think pietro’s rubbing off on you.”

“ew i’d rather go back to being tortured than be like him.” you joked.

“how dare you! you know you love being around me.”

you made fake gagging noise and steve let out a laugh. he finally turned around and looked at you two for the first time this morning.

“oh- uh y/n? what happened, why are you soaked?” he asked, averting his eyes from you. your eyes widened in realisation that you were wearing little-to-nothing in front of your captain and your t-shirt was clinging to your body.

“pietro is a dick is what happened.” you said, pushing yourself off the table. “if you’ll excuse me, i’ll go make myself decent.”

“you look decent all the time, love!” pietro called after you as you began to leave the kitchen. you swivelled round and flipped him off with both hands before leaving the room.

———

“do you remember when-“ you let out a giggle and pointed at bucky, “when we had to kill those french agents and you-“ another laugh, “you fell over a wall! god i mean because my brain was mush i couldn’t laugh but looking back on it that shit was hilarious!”

you and the team were recalling old missions gone wrong, with the assistance of alcohol obviously, and you were telling a story about you and bucky- much to his dismay.

“i didn’t fall.” he protested, taking a swig from the bottom of beer in his hand.

“so what happened then? did the sidewalk just crumble?” you questioned, laughing loudly. the rest of the team sat observing the interaction, large smiles across all their face. pietro sat to your left with his arm around your shoulder, a drink in his other hand.

“okay. maybe i did fall.” bucky mumbled causing a roar of laughter from everyone. “but, remember how we were running through a forest in, where was it again?-“

“bulgaria.” you said, already knowing where this was going.

“bulgaria! yes. and it was raining so it was super muddy and you got suck in the mud!” he laughed.

“you left me there! i had to drag myself out.” you complained.

“well we had a mission to complete! you would’ve done the same.”

you rolled your eyes, “you’re right. i would have.” you felt pietro laugh from beside you and you smiled at him. “time for a refill.” you announced, pushing yourself up off the sofa. you wandered to the kitchen and took the bottle of wine on the table and poured some into your glass. due to the alcohol already in your system you spilled a little on the counter, “shit.” you muttered.

“need some help there?” pietro asked.

“i can pour wine myself thank you very much.” you retorted.

“i think the table disagrees.” he chuckled.

“shut up.” you groaned. pietro sped from the door to grab a towel and stopped behind you. he reached over your shoulder and wiped the spilled wine up. his breath was hot against your neck. you turned around, wine glass in hand, and looked up into his eyes. his hands remained on either side of you.

“this is the second time we’ve ended up here.” he mumbled.

“good observation, captain obvious.” you teased. pietro rolled his eyes and huffed out a laugh.

pietro took his right hand and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, staring into your eyes. he kept his hand on the side of your head and leant in slightly for the second time in the past week. your breathing deepened and your heart was thumping against your chest. you tilted your head up towards his head and your lips were almost touching, just as they were a few days ago

“y/n! can you get me a whiskey before you come back?!” tony called from the other room.

pietro groaned in frustration and pulled away from you, tilting his head up. “i’m going to kill those avengers.”

“good luck with that speedy.” you said, tapping his chest lightly.

he stepped away from you, letting you leave his embrace to get tony a drink. after pouring him a glass of whiskey and grabbing your glass of wine, you and pietro entered the room filled with your team. his hand was placed in the small of your back, guiding you back to the sofa.

you handed tony his drink and he smiled at you, “thanks kid.”

pietro sat on the couch and you flopped down beside him, his arm resuming its place of around your shoulder. you swung your legs up and across pietro’s legs, earning a few looks from nat and clint. they looked at each other and raised their eyebrows with a smirk.

steve and bucky were telling a story of a party they went to in the 40s and how bucky had to drag him to dance with these girls they met. you took a sip of your drink and noticed pietro’s eyes glancing at your lips, “want a sip?” you asked, smirking because you knew that’s not what he was looking at.

he pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek and sighed, “watch it, y/l/n.”

“oooooooh we’re on last name terms now?” you teased, smiling.

“yeah if you keep pissing me off we will be.”

“don’t be so easy to piss off.” you replied.

he leaned over and whispered in your ear, “cant help it. i’m frustrated.”

you pushed out your bottom lip in an overdramatic pout, “boohoo.”

tony then shot forward in his seat and clapped his hands together, “tomorrow you two,” he said, pointing at you and bucky, “are gonna have a little fashion show, i’ve been working on some suits for you guys and i need your input.”

“wait really?” you asked.

“yup. i’m not having you two going on missions in your hydra gear.” he explained.

“shit, thanks tony.” bucky replied.

“where’s my suit?” pietro questioned.

“you’ll get on eventually. your girlfriend is just a little more improtant.”

“i was here first.” he protested.

“girlfriend?” you asked at the same time.

“wait your turn, turbo.” tony said.

pietro scoffed and everyone laughed at the interaction.

nat stretched her arms behind her head and yawned, “alright losers, i’m going to bed.”

“yeah, me too.” clint added.

eventually everyone had made their way upstairs and all that was left was you, tony and pietro.

“okay. what’s going on here?” tony asked, wagging his finger between you guys. pietro’s hand was now resting on your leg which was still across his.

“nothing.” you said.

“uh huh? yeah that bullshit doesn’t work on me kiddo.”

“piet, sure nothing has happened.” you glanced at him and a look of annoyance crossed his face.

“yeah stark. nothings happened.” he replied through gritted teeth.

“well if anything does happen, stay safe.” he winked at you two, “and if you hurt her, speedy, she’ll probably hurt you back worse.”

you laughed, “hell yeah i will.”

“oh i know you will.”

“goodnight .” tony said as he stood up from his chair and left the room.

you swung your legs off pietro and stood up, “well goodnight piet.” a smirk grew across your face as you began to walk away.

“nope.” he stated, grabbing your wrist and turning you back around. he pulled you onto his lap so you were straddling him, legs on either side of him. he placed his hand on the back of your neck and pulled your head towards his before crashing your lips onto his.

the kiss was heated, after being denied it twice before. your hands moved from his shoulders to the back of his neck and his moved to your waist. his fingers dug into your hips causing you to moan slightly, he took this opportunity to intertwine his tongue with yours.

eventually you broke apart, both gasping for air. you placed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

“you don’t understand how long i’ve wanted to do that.” he muttered.

“worth it?” you asked, teasing him.

“nope.” he joked.

you leaned back and glared at him, “you bitch.” you leaned in and kissed him again, running your fingers through his hair and pulling it slightly. he groaned against your lips and you smiled through the kiss, enjoying the effect you had on him.

pulling away for the second time, you both had content smiles on your faces. you leaned your head on his shoulder and closed your eyes, “you’re comfortable.”

he let out a hearty laugh, “thank you?”

“it’s a compliment, i could sit here forever.”

suddenly you were no long sitting on top of him, you were being picked up and whisked through the building. your hair blew around until you stopped and were in your room. “what just happened?”

“i’m tired and the couch didn’t seem good to sleep on.” he explained.

“woah, woah, woah. who said you’re sleeping in my room?”

“i did.” he stated. using his powers he stripped himself down to his underwear and jumped on your bed, under the covers.

“i regret kissing you. you’re a pain in the ass.” you complained.

“and you called me a bitch?!” he exclaimed.

you rolled your eyes and grabbed your pyjamas that were at the foot of your bed and walked to your bathroom.

“where are you going?” he asked.

“getting changed, i don’t want you watching.”

you closed the door to block out his protests and quickly got ready for bed.

“hurry up.” pietro called.

“stop complaining or i’m going to sleep on the couch.” you replied, opening the door and leaning against the doorframe. pietro was sat with his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes raked over your body and a small smirk grew on his face. “eyes up here pretty boy.”

he laughed and pulled back the cover before patting the spot next to him, signalling for you to join him. you shuffled over and slid into the bed. pietro wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close.

“so much for the whole tough super soldier act, you’re a softie at heart, aren’t you love?” he muttered in your ear.

“anymore of that and i’ll suffocate you in your sleep with this pillow.” you replied, closing your eyes and relaxed into his embrace.

“no you won’t. you’re too soft.” he teased.

“pietro. i’m warning you.” you yawned, “i don’t care how good looking you are i will kill you.”

“good looking huh?”

“fuck off and go to sleep.” you spat.

“sweet dreams, y/n.” he said with a small laugh.

“yep they won’t be about you.” you murmured, before dozing off to sleep.

———

“i knew it!” nat squealed. you squeezed your eyes close and then opened them, blinking rapidly. pietro lay behind you with his arm draped over your waist. he groaned against your neck and looked over his shoulder at the team standing at the door.

“piet what’s going on?” you grumbled, too tired to sit up and look for yourself.

“so when did this happen?” cap asked.

you finally turned over and sat up, seeing everyone stood in your room. “what the fuck? get out my room you creeps!” you shouted, grabbing the pillow behind your head and throwing it towards them.

“oh come on kid, when did it happen?” he repeated.

“none of your business steve.”

“we’re not leaving until we find out.” clint added.

“you’re awfully quiet little brother, nothing to add?” wanda said.

“i cant believe this.” you muttered, lying back down.

“last night, happy? but all we did was kiss okay, nothing else.” you explained.

“yet.” pietro stated. you elbowed him in the stomach and he winced at the impact.

“so are you two together now?” nat asked.

“well we haven’t had the chance to speak about it because you guys ruined our morning!” you exclaimed.

“what’s going on?” bucky asked, rubbing his eyes. he peered in over everyone and laughed, “nevermind.”

it seemed that pietro had had enough too so he sped out of bed and pushed everyone outside the room, closed the door and locked it. “much better.” he said.

you heard the murmurs of everyone outside, “use a condom!” clint shouted. footsteps retreated from your door as everyone left to go about their day.

“i’m moving out i can’t live here anymore.” you groaned.

“it’s not that bad, you’ve got me.” he said, crawling back onto the bed and lying on top of you. you wrapped your arms around his head and played with his hair.

“so are we like together now?” you asked, mocking natasha’s previously asked question.

“would you like that?” he asked.

“god no.” you joked, “obviously dumbass.”

he lifted his head up and leaned in to kiss you.

“nope. you’ve not brushed your teeth.”

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[sylvie-writes]

Bad: The Unfortunate Ending

Inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

A/n: this is my first attempt at angst so here we go... 

Disclaimer: not part of my fall writing, this is just a lil something bc I needed to write, it makes me happier after days as today. 

Warnings: Cheating, mild profanity, shitty angst & writing. Ransom being an asshole (rip all the soft Ransom stories I’ve written)

Series Masterlist

Never in a thousand years would you have seen yourself sitting in Boston’s most expensive and high end restaurant, a steak simmering at 500 degrees laying out in front of you, and the Ransom Drysdale sweetly smiling at you.

“Wait, before you start eating, I have something to ask you, love.” 

Was he gonna break up with you?

Ransom reached over his plate to reach your hand gently bringing it to his lips while maintaining eye contact with your shocked expression, soon calming.

Oh whew.

The man then set down your hand, and folded up the napkin in his lap before rounding the table, getting down on one knee. Your eyes were already welling up with tears, making it impossible to see all the people staring at you and Ransom.

“(y/n) (l/n)...

… … ...

Will you marry me?” 

After his adoring speech, the four little words came out and the man on his knee was staring up at you like you were a goddess. Overwhelmed, you happily spewed out the words of acknowledgement while Ransom slipped the lavish diamond onto your ring finger, kissing the now ringed finger before scooping you up from your chair, the two of you in a deep kiss amidst the cheers.

A few months later the two of you got married, and everything was a dream. You had a lovely house, and a husband who was practically your closest friend. The two of you spent all your time together, told every joke, talked all the time. Believe or not but Mr. Fancy Pants had preferred that you got married sooner rather than having an extravagant wedding ceremony. 

So that's what you did. One lovely Monday morning, you and Ransom drove to the courthouse, in the beamer, as if it were just any other day. 

You thought then and there, that this was it. Life was finally playing in your favor...

 All the little gifts you gave

I call it over compensating

Feeling just like a princess

Every answer was always yes

You had me living in a dream

 “Oh Ransom!” You played with the little puppy down at your feet, a red ribbon adoring it’s small, yet fluffy neck.The little thing jumped into your arms, causing you to lift off the floor, walking closer to Ransom. 

“Why did you get me a puppy, Hugh?” 

He just cheekily smiled and shrugged, walking by to kiss your cheek. “No reason!” 

You just laughed it off before going outside to play fetch with the energetic fur baby. 

Ransom always treated you for no reason, at times you really hated him for it, but not once would he ever let up.

About four months into your marriage, Harlan had invited you and Ransom to some writer’s charity gala, a black and white party, meaning Ransom was gonna rent a tux and you’d find an overly priced yet attractive dress. 

So, one Saturday afternoon, you and Ransom went to the mall, getting fitted for your clothes. You weren’t about the name brands like Ransom was, but today, Ransom now had full advantage to shower you in expensive clothing having already picked his tux yesterday. His sneaky little plan to go dress shopping with you.

“What about this one?” Your husband held up a black slip dress designed by Prada. Curiously you walked up to him, checking the tag to see its $1,000 price. In all honesty, from the looks of the dress, you had assumed Ransom picked up a simple dress. Sure, it was pretty but you weren’t about to pay that much just for the name. For what it is worth, you could sew and tailor the damn thing yourself. 

“That’s ridiculous, Ransom. I’m not about to pay that much.” 

You went to go walk off before you felt Ransom’s hot breath in your ear.

“Who said you were paying?”

Turning around, you playfully pushed him in the chest to which he laughed and peppered kisses all over your face.

“Ransom! Stop, you’re making a scene!”

He pulled away for a minute, your giggles ceasing.

“Let me treat you and I will stop.”

Quickly, the man resumed his attack, your pleas soon becoming words of compliance.

“Fine!”

His signature smirk danced across his lips, while his free arm snaked around your waist ushering you to the tailor’s stand. 

 What's forever long to you

Did you say that to her too

Making sure that I'd never know

Callin her while the shower goes

 It was a little after midnight and Ransom wasn’t home yet, today he had been out with some friends, not inviting you. Your only company for the day was your precious little puppy, who was curled up against your stomach. The endless worry had kept you up all night as you mindlessly stroked the puppy’s back, trying to calm your own nerves.

Eventually, an hour later, the hallway light shone under the door, Ransom coming in. He was met with your worried look and came to rush over to your side.

“You scared me to death, Ransom. Two hours ago, you were supposed to be back!” 

“I know. I know. I’m so sorry baby. Now, get some sleep, I love you. Forever, my love.”

Ransom gently pulled the blanket over you, kissing you goodnight, then heading off to shower.

Turning on the shower, Ransom pulled the phone out of his pocket, scrolling to the bottom of his contacts and dialing, Blair❤️. 

“Hey baby, today was amazing Ranny!”

A deep chuckle left Ransom’s throat, the woman on the phone giggling.

“I know, angel. You are the best, love ya forever, Sweetheart.” 

Blair continued to gush over the phone, recalling the earlier events of the day at her house where Ransom had spent the whole day. (leaving that sentence to the eye of the beholder.)

Shower, and you, long forgotten, Ransom spent the rest of the night talking to the woman, leaving the bedroom to go downstairs, assuming you were already asleep.

Ironically, that night, you dreamt of all the times you and Ransom would stay up just talking and laughing...

Then crawl back in bed, it's a shame

I probably should've known better

I probably should've known better

 It was 4 am, and Blair had fallen asleep on the phone, leaving Ransom to bid her goodbye and get some shut eye himself. 

It was like sleeping next to a stranger, the warmth of the bed now gone. Coldness, replacing the loving embrace.

About two months ago, your work gave its employees a week off for the holidays. It was once in a blue moon that you got to see your family, so you seized this opportunity. You wished your husband could have come, but Ransom had to stay behind to help Harlan with an upcoming novel. In truth, Ransom never saw himself reverting back to his bad ways, but who knows what entices people to change.

One night, Ransom went out for a drink, a young lady, about twenty-seven years old, came up to the sulking man. He was drowning his sorrows in a couple of beers, wishing he were there with you. Oh how he missed you!

“Hey stranger.”

The sultry voice hit too close to home for Ransom, a voice he knew all too well.

And let’s just say a few drinks later, he came to remember his old fling as Blair.

 I wish that you would've treated me bad

The truth is you couldn't have loved me better

Now I'm left feeling twice as sad

I wish you would've treated me bad bad bad

It felt like you were living a hallmark movie, and never would you have thought any different.

Your feet were propped on the Ransom’s lap as the two of you laid down Uno cards on the coffee table. 

“Ransom?”

“Yes, darling?”

You set the Uno cards in your lap, adjusting on the couch so that you’d be straddling Ransom. The man brightly smiling at you, enveloping you with his muscular arms. In complete bliss, you leaned forward and kissed him, a slow and intimate kiss. Time completely stopped as you were just in your own little world. 

He treated you so well, you’d never be prepared for the heartbreak that’d ensue. 

 I wasn't catching on to you

Blinded by your lips so smooth

Excusing all of your gotta goes

Leaving me to be all alone

 “Do you really have to go, Ransom?” 

Your arms were wrapped around the man’s neck, pleading for him to stay. A small frown made a way onto his lips before he leaned in to kiss you deeply, pulling away from your lips while you were still trying to catch up. 

“I gotta go.”

With that, he rushed out. A business meeting was it? Or was it Harlan? You couldn’t remember. For the past two months, you’ve been accepting all of his excuses, soon all of them blending, yet in the end you were always left standing in the house, alone with your dog.

It's okay, you told yourself. Sure he forgot your birthday last month. It’s fine.

As long as he didn't forget your wedding anniversary next month, everything would be fine…

Right?

 Then you took my heart just the same

I probably should've known better

I probably should've known better

 No it wasn’t fine. He forgot your anniversary. He forgot you. In the mornings, he’d no longer stay with you, instead finding an excuse to rush out, no kisses, not even hugs, Rarely did the two of you talk and soon, it became your new normal.

You should’ve known better.

 Every word you said you was sweet but you was lying

Everything you covered making up just to keep to me from crying

Another late night, Ransom had gone to help his mother at some dinner party for her business, or so he said. He left early this morning, claiming he was gonna help set up and that he’d be home by 8. Yet, here you are, watching the 11 o’clock news, waiting for your husband’s arrival since he had left you with radio silence all day.

Suddenly, the door flew open, a sloppily dressed Ransom, stumbling in, clearly piss-ass drunk.

“Oh you're awake!”

You walked over to help him sit on the couch, just as you were about to turn off the lamp beside the couch, you noticed a tint of red lipstick on Ransom’s lips. You hadn’t worn any lipstick today, right?

Tenderly, you traced your thumb over his lips, as his eyes gazed into yours.

“Ransom, what’s on your lips?”

In a poor attempt, Ransom went to grab your hand, missing and instead grabbing your shoulder, leaning in to kiss you, instead getting your ear. 

“It’s nothing, (y/n).” 

His head was laying on your shoulder, as he was about to fall asleep, his energy suddenly gone.

“Really? It seems like something, you have a woman’s lipstick on your lips for god sake!”

Ransom then perked up and hugged you tightly, whispering reassuring words to you. Drunkenly, his words mashed together, causing you to barely understand his “comforting” speech. 

“I love you so much, sweetheart, I’d never do that to you.”

Sweetheart, a name once reserved for you, now unknowingly shared with another woman.

Believing his lies, because why not? He had never given you a reason not to trust him, not yet anyway.

 I wish that you would've treated me bad

The truth is you couldn't have loved me better

Now I'm left feeling twice as sad

I wish you would've treated me bad bad bad

 That very next week, Ransom had to leave once again, this time a boys’ trip to the club. You thought nothing of it, now used to his absence, keeping to yourself with the dog and some friends.

Later that afternoon, you were enjoying a sandwich and lemonade out on the front porch when a Maseratti pulled into the driveway, a familiar man stepping out.

“(y/n)! Is Ransom home?”

The man pulled you into an embrace, leaving you confused at his presence.

“Why are you here Oliver? Ransom said he was out with you and James.”

Oliver just shrugged his shoulders, he too jumping to the same conclusion. At this point you were just seeing red, storming into the house, Oliver following. You practically were stomping holes into the hallway for your footsteps were as heavy as your heart. Maybe all along you had been suspicious deep inside, maybe you just never wanted to believe it.

Then finding Ransom’s phone in his nightstand, you came back into the doorway to meet Oliver. If your suspicions were true, you’d like to at least embarrass the dumbass in front of his friend. They all knew he was a playboy at heart, but after you, every one had assumed he’d matured somewhat. 

Clearly, they were all wrong.

Your husband was the biggest idiot in the world, making his password your anniversary date, for he was so forgetful. You found this hilarious, because he forgot your first wedding anniversary, god you were so naive. 

Was this wrong? Sleuthing through his phone?

Sure. But it could never equal up to what you were about to find. 

Opening text messages, 50 unread, all from you, your messages definitely ignored as a woman named Blair was at the top of his messages. 

You gagged at the heart by her name, one that used to be by yours. Scrolling through the texts, you found yourself growing angrier by the minute, finally, you just lost it. With great vehemence, you slammed the phone against the floor, making it shatter everywhere, Oliver and your dog, slightly jumping.

It was then that it hit you.

You crashed to the floor, crying hysterically, as the world came crashing down with you. Oliver, crouching down on the floor, trying to calm your sobs.

Tonight you were gonna confront that backstabbing, no good, cheating son of a bitch.

 Tell me the truth

Was it worth it was I worth it for you

'Cause we were perfect we working til you

Forgot to tell me you been seeing someone else for six years

It was 9 pm and you hadn’t expected Ransom’s arrival for another hour or two, so you spent the time packing your bags and drinking some coffee, preparing yourself to tear the man a new one. 

This time, there wasn’t a slammed door signaling Ransom’s presence, rather soft footsteps and his low voice, like the old days.

Ha, the one time he gets home early. Ehh you were ready anyway

“Hey babe! Oooh can I have some?”

Before you could answer, Ransom took your mug and a few swigs of coffee, handing it back to you, placing a kiss on your head. In utter surprise, you looked up at the man who just smiled down at you.

“You look I haven’t kissed you in weeks, my love.”

And with that he pecked your lips quickly, walking to the counter, you still trying to process what had just happened. 

It was true. He hadn’t kissed you in weeks.

No, you weren’t gonna let him win this time.

“It’s because you haven’t.”

Confusion swirled around on Ransom’s face, allowing you to continue.

“You haven’t kissed me in weeks. But you have kissed Blair, I'm sure.” 

The coffee mug in his hand dropped onto his foot, shattering, leaving you smirking at the small victory.

Heartbreak can make one go insane. Afterall, you are losing the one person you loved most, losing yourself along with them. 

“For months I have put up with your bullshit…” 

A good ten minutes passed of you yelling at Ransom, the man unexpectedly letting you finish.

“You’re a cheating, son of a bitch.”

Angrily, you ripped off the wedding ring, now noticing Ransom wasn’t even wearing his, for god knows how long too. Once upon a time, he’d proudly wear it all the time.

“(y/n) wait--”

Ransom grabbed your arm before you slapped him, the man slightly stunned.

“No. I’m tired of your excuses, I’m tired of letting you win. You and Brittany, should have an amazing life together, that is if you can even commit to her like you told me.”

A whisper of defeat left his mouth.

“It’s Blair…”

“The hell with it! You broke my heart Ransom! I knew it was too fucking good to be true. DAMN IT, I LOVED YOU.”

Hysterically laughing, you looked like a mad woman, lowering your voice just a bit.

“You know what makes this hurt 2x worse? I thought you had actually loved me too, because it seemed like it.”

You broke into tears, your heart in a thousand pieces, rushing away to grab your bags, Ransom not even trying to fight, knowing you're too strong this time. He let the best thing that ever happened to him slip away. 

Ages ago you could remember the lovely times with the man you once would die for, yet...

Your love was just an illusion. 

 I wish that you would've treated me bad

The truth is you couldn't have loved me better

Now I'm left feeling twice as sad

I wish you would've treated me bad bad bad

I wish that you would've treated me bad

Truth is you couldn't have loved me better

Now I'm left feeling twice as sad

I wish you would've treated me bad bad bad

a/n: maybe i should stay away from angst bc this sucked.

Updated a/n: this is gonna be a series! If you’d like to be on the taglist lemme know!!

[kafka-ish]

sleep-over | b.d.

it’s been years since bill denbrough’s been to an actual sleepover. but when someone invites him over for the night, he can’t seem to pass up the opportunity to join them.

word count: 3,313

warnings/included: fluff, fem!reader

request: (from anonymous) “hiii could i please request a bill denbrough fic? you can decide what it’s about but just lots of fluff and something really cute”

a/n: repost bc my tumblr tags didn’t work on the last one and i didn’t realize until now,, also based off of this song 

-

“Do you...do you want to come over?” y/n asked. Those were the first words to spill from her mouth when she dialed Bill’s phone at twelve-o-one a.m. She didn’t have to look out her window to know it was late because of the darkness that engulfed her room, but she also knew she had Bill wrapped around her finger and he’d do anything for her if she asked. 

“Luh-like a ss-sleepover?” Bill’s shoulder was pressing his phone to his ear as he paced back and forth in his room. He looked out his window to see nothing. Just a dark abyss that beckoned for him, the same way y/n did from over the phone. 

“Yeah. Like a sleepover.” y/n thought back to the multiple sleepovers she and he had before when they were younger. 

When dusk ate the day and it got too late, Bill would stay the night at the y/l/n’s house. Her mother would have y/n’s brother keep an eye on the two of them because god knows what would happen if the two were left alone (even at an early age). 

“Loser has to fit five marshmallows in their mouth,” y/n declared as she was setting up Candyland. She already had dibs on the purple gingerbread man so Bill supposed he’d just have to play as yellow. 

“Oh-oh-okay.” A wide smile formed on a young Bill Denbrough’s mouth and his chest moved in sync with the guffaws he was trying to contain. “B-b-but I don’t think your...your mouth is that big.” 

y/n’s grin matched his and Bill had gotten cocky that night because he had found y/n’s gingerbread man crossing the rainbow finish line before his and he could only hold three of the Jumbo Jet-Puffs in his mouth. 

“I’ll b-be ri-right over.” Bill had unintentionally slammed the receiver back on the dial pad. He had never been so fast to pack up in his entire life, but he also didn’t take much; just a fresh pair of boxers, a change of basketball shorts, a t-shirt similar to the one he was wearing, and his toothbrush. It had been forever ago since he and a friend like Stan or Mike spent the night at each other’s houses. It had been a lifetime ago since he spent the night at y/n’s house. 

He walked—no—ran out the door, almost forgetting his shoes in the process (which he slipped on without socks). His duffle bag was light on his arm and threatened to slip off more than once if Bill hadn’t been careful. He made it to y/n’s house in record’s time, but he also lived four blocks away. 

Bill waited outside of y/n’s door. His fingers fought with each other and he noticed that the green porch light was still on. 

“What are you doing?” y/n called down from above. She could freely yell into the earth’s crisp air because the neighborhood was asleep, and she didn’t have to worry about her brother who was sleeping in one of the dorms Duke University provided. 

“I didn’t know if I should knock or not,” Bill answered honestly. He knew y/n was rolling her eyes at his response whether he could see her face clearly or not. He could hear her loud footsteps—rushed and enthusiastic—from inside the house as she trampled down the stairs to let him in.

“Hi!” She looked up at him wide-eyed and bushy-tailed because Bill stood tall and lean while y/n was like a dainty sprig—fragile and still waiting for spring to bloom—at least compared to him.

A smile couldn’t help but draw itself on Bill’s face when she greeted him. She was dressed in a white tank top and cotton sleep shorts and it was in that moment when Bill realized how much she’d grown. How much they’d all grown.

“Are you ready?” y/n eyed him curiously because it’d been seconds since she said anything and Bill had yet to reply. 

“Ye-yeah,” Bill said. He stepped in. “Where?” Gulp. “Where should I puh-puh-put this?” He held up the seemingly empty duffle and y/n took it from him only to toss it aside next to the potted plant that greeted guests as they walked in. 

“We can come back for it later. Now come on.” She was dragging him back outside. “I need an adventure!” She locked the door behind them with her golden house key she had turned into a necklace by feeding a length of black lace through the middle hole. She wore that thing everywhere she went. 

“Ad-adventure?” One of Bill’s untrimmed eyebrows raised and y/n nodded as soon as the word left his mouth. “I th-th-hought this was a s-sl-sleepover.” 

y/n giggled. Her small hand only covered a third of his as she grabbed it and led him from her front lawn and across the street. “Who actually sleeps at a sleepover?” 

That was true. As he recalled, the last time he ‘slept over’ at Richie Tozier’s house, neither of them had actually closed their eyes. 

Bill hadn’t noticed he was now in front and y/n stood a few paces behind him until he felt the warmth of her hand leave his. She was taking the time to light the cigarette she had balanced between her bottom and top lip. Bill chuckled softly at the sight behind him. She was a sight for sore eyes. 

He stepped back to meet her figure whose nimble fingers were concentrating on flicking the purple BIC at hand. 

“Nuh-need help?” Bill took the lighter from her and it came to life with one swift move of his thumb. 

“Yo-you know s-s-s-smoking is... Once you start, you cuh-can’t s-s-s-top.” Bill said this as if her were a father, telling his child about the dangers of drug usage. But he still lit the stick that was poking from y/n’s pouting lips. 

She took a drag from the cigarette. It was long and she coughed afterward because she hated the taste. Bill could tell she wasn’t an experienced smoker and that this had probably been her second pack. “I’m already addicted,” she said. The cigarette muffled her words. But it wasn’t the nicotine she was addicted to. She was addicted to fitting in.

Bill shook his head which he’d inadvertently thrown back while he was consumed in laughter. “You guh-guh-got an-hother one?” He asked and y/n reached in the elastic of her waistband to grab a pack of Mavericks (a gift from Bev). The box was full except for one and she had also stashed a twenty-dollar bill in the gaping space between the tobacco sticks.

“I didn’t take you for a smoker,” y/n said while tossing him a smoke.

“Fuh-first time for eh-everything.” Bill shrugged and lit the end like a natural. It wasn’t his first time, he just said that to make y/n feel better. 

The two walked in comfortable silence. y/n was still trailing behind, but only to admire Bill’s frame under the white moonlight—not to enjoy her barely smoked cigarette because maybe she wanted pink lungs until she was old and wrinkled and had to have be waited on hand and foot at the nursing home.

It took them ten minutes to arrive at a worn-down gas station and it would’ve taken them five if y/n wasn’t lollygagging or if Bill didn’t stop to point at the stars every three seconds.

“Lo-ook at that one!” He’d say with the innocence of a child. His sneakers would make a scraping sound against the abandoned road when he came to a halt and y/n would bump into his shoulder because she never looked where she was going.

“It kind of looks like the mole on the back of your-“ Bill nudged her, causing her to wobble and drop the Maverick. It was one with nature now. Good riddance.

Bill put out his own half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray that sat on top of the garbage can next to the glass doors of the QwikTrip.

It was bright inside. Too bright. The empty gas station felt completely different from when they were slumming it in the outside and dancing to the sound of crickets chirping.

But y/n didn’t notice. She was too busy in her own world, mixing together a cherry and coke flavored slushie to make cherry coke. She watched in childlike wonder at the contents inside the slushie machine that whirled ‘round and ‘round so the ice could mix thoroughly with the syrup (a slushie with an imperfect ice-to-syrup ratio was not a slushie; it was just flavored ice). She didn’t notice the guy working the cash register who was obviously checking her out.

But Bill did.

An odd feeling struck at his heart which was now beating faster as he watched the greasy boy about their age eye his childhood friend.

“H-have you ever dr-dr-“ Bill paused. “Had alcohol?” Bill wondered aloud. y/n had just finished preparing Bill’s slushie for him—plain banana—so her attention could now focus on just him. Internally, Bill was banging his head against the wall for asking such a stupid question. But that’s what y/n made him in recent developments: stupid.

Every teenager drinks he thought to himself. But y/n wasn’t like every teenager. 

“No.” y/n shook her head and Bill found his eyes roaming to the liquor case in the back of the store. 

They both knew what each other meant and Bill just about dashed to the fridge the same way he dashed out his door when y/n called him that night. 

y/n was waiting for him at the paying counter. She took small sips at her cherry coke slushie but luckily Bill didn’t take too long. He came back, holding a clear bottle of liquid that y/n didn’t know the name of. He set the glass on the counter and reached in his pocket only for his heart to fall twelve meters into its grave because he left his wallet at home.

“Don’t worry about it,” y/n reassured. Her hand settled on his momentarily. “I’ll get it. Just wait outside.”

So he did. But waiting outside nearly killed him.

“These please.” y/n gave the stranger her biggest smile, teeth and all, as she pushed the bottle of gin and two slushie cups across the counter for him to scan.

“Was that your boyfriend?” The cashier asked. His face could be mistaken for a pepperoni pizza and his blonde hair was uncombed. The graveyard shift really does some things to people.

“No...” y/n blushed and the stranger thought it was because she found him attractive. It was actually the idea that other people thought of Bill and her as a couple that caused y/n’s cheeks to tint. y/n looked up at the boy through her long lashes and it should be counted as a crime to not know the effect you have on the people around you.

A sly smile reached all the way to the boy’s eyes. “You know what? It’s on me.” He printed out her receipt. There were just three items marked as $0.00. The only numbers that added up to something were the ones on the bottom which he said was his phone number. “Call me.” He winked.

Bill felt like he was being stabbed all from watching the two flirt and before another invisible knife could make another incision in his already delicate heart, y/n was out the door. Two diabetes-filled cups occupied both hands while a plastic bag hung from her arm.

“Hi!” She said this in the same way she greeted him.

Bill covered his mouth when he coughed before sputtering out a hi.

She sat down on the curb outside of the gas station, her legs crossed like a pretzel. She sat both cups down, taking a sip from both straws. Her tropical-flavored chapstick tainted his red straw and Bill would taste pineapple mixed with banana later when he took a sip.

y/n’s mouth tingled at the taste of banana slushie. Who the hell gets a banana slushie? She supposed she’d never get used to the taste, but it was worth a try.

Bill took a seat on the rough pavement next to her. He knew his ass would hurt once he got up, especially if they would sit like this for a while, but he didn’t care.

“D-d-do you want… muh-muh-maybe wuh-want to g-g-go somewhere no… nobody will see?” Bill asked tentatively.

y/n smiled with the plastic still between her teeth. It was a more pleasant feeling than rolled-up tobacco. “Who would even see us here?”

Bill laughed but he thought back to how the cashier was eyeing her while she fixed her slushie. It wasn’t the same way he’d look at her. It was slimy and gross. But that was behind them now as he slipped an arm around her and held her close.

His shirt was old and worn, but it felt soft and homey against the skin of her cheek. She nuzzled close into his chest, feeling his ribcage and smelling the Old Spice that lingered from when he applied it earlier in the afternoon.

She hadn’t been this close since their last sleepover.

They were thirteen and y/n had originally invited him over to watch High Society on the new television set her parents bought and finally got around to setting up in the den. She promised she wouldn’t get jealous if he stared at Grace Kelly because he’d tell her the same about Gregory Peck. But Bill didn’t get the chance to stare because the ribbon was detached from the VHS, ruining their whole plans.

Bill wouldn’t have stared anyway—not when there was someone worth staring at who sat on the couch next to him.

“I’m so sorry.” It must’ve been the tenth time she apologized but Bill only waved his hand like how he wished he could wave the rest of her worries away. “I didn’t know it was all screwy... It’s been years since I’ve actually put the damn thing in.”

“Don-don’t-t worry ab-b-bout it,” Bill said. He glanced up at the clock on the mantle. It was getting late and the beginning of a sunset could now be seen from outside the living room window.

“You should be getting home.” y/n was looking at the clock with him. Bill shook his head.

“Ih-it’s ff-fine.” He shoved a handful of popcorn that y/n popped herself in his mouth. “Do-do you h-h-have an eh-eh-extra toothbrush? O-o-or I cuh-cuh-could leave early.”

y/n knew what he was referring to and a smile graced her already angelic lips. She was getting excited just at the thought of having a companion by her side during the witching hour. y/n jumped to her feet and skipped over to Bill on her bare feet. “What will you sleep in?... I could offer you my nightgown!” She laughed at the image in her head which projected a picture of a scrawny Bill Denbrough wearing one of y/n’s frilly nightdresses even she didn’t wear anymore.

“I cuh-cuh-can ju-just sleep in th-th-this.” He shrugged and y/n could only think that boys were strange.

By the time both of them had brushed their teeth, Bill was already tuckered out. Maybe it was from watching y/n mess with the VHS player for so long. Or maybe it was from running over to y/n’s house when she had excitedly announced her parents set up a new television set and she wanted him to be the first one over to experience it and his legs were still tired from carrying him.

“Do you want to watch a different movie? I’d hate to invite you over just to not do anything.” y/n picked at her fingernails, too afraid to meet Bill’s eye because she was scared he hated her.

Bill could never hate her.

“Nah.” Bill spread out on her double bed that she had made prior. He sunk into the plush covers and felt himself doze off until y/n hit him with a pillow.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She was hovering over him, scared that she’d fall and break her neck if she lost balance.

“Sl-sleeping.” Bill closed his eyes once more. “I’m kuh-kuh-kinda t-t-tired.”

“Move over.” y/n wasn’t tired, but she’d do whatever Bill wanted. She laid down next to him and there couldn’t possibly be enough room on the bed for both of them—at least with the way Bill was spread out.

She snuggled close to him, able to smell the toothpaste he used and the natural smell of vanilla that clung to his skin.

But right now, Bill didn’t want the night to end as they sat three years older and in an empty parking lot. If BIll had one wish, he’d wish this night would last forever. Just him and her and the space surrounding them.

y/n’s eyelids felt heavy and her legs felt gelatin-like. She fell into a dreamlike trance while Bill’s arm acted as a blanket around her, but she didn’t want the night to end like this.

“Ar-are you t-t-tired?” Bill asked. y/n could feel his arm remove itself from her and she visibly shivered.

“No,” she lied but he knew better than that.

“I’ll wuh-wuh-walk you h-home.”

Their trek back to y/n’s house was slower than it was when they left it. y/n didn’t mind. She basked in the presence of Bill’s calming aura and Bill felt the same. Both of them, however, were too afraid to tell each other that.

y/n could barely keep herself stood upright on her own. Bill had to stabilize her with his left hand. His right hand was gently figuring out a way to remove the key necklace that hung from her neck.

“That tickles!” y/n giggled loudly when the icy tips of his fingers brushed her sensitive skin.

“Shh,” Bill whisper shouted. “Th-there are puh-puh-people sleeping.” He looked at the time on his digital watch. Not for long, anyway.

“Shh,” y/n echoed back to him. 

The front door creaked open. Bill cringed and hoped it wouldn’t wake her parents, but y/n told him it shouldn’t matter because they were heavy sleepers. He trusted her.

When both of them stepped in, y/n was the one to shut the door just like she had when they left. Afterward, they tip-toed up the stairs. Bill clutched his duffle bag and y/n still had the plastic one which contained the alcohol.

“Fuck...” y/n giggled at the curse word that left her lips. “Marry, or kill.”

“What’re m-my options?” Bill slurred. He was too scared to look up at her, so he looked at the dark ceiling. He was sprawled out on her bed—taking up most of the room—like he did when they were thirteen.

“Me, Beverly, and...” y/n sighed. She forgot the name of the girl who sat in front of her in math class. “Henrietta Simons.”

“Huh-who’s Henrietta?” Bill asked, but he already knew his answer.

“Someone you should kill.” y/n shrugged and stared at the ceiling with him, trying to find out what was so interesting about it.

“Kuh-kill Henrietta,” Bill said, and a proud smile found its way on y/n’s lips. “Fuck-ck Bev, an-” He didn’t really have to finish after that.

“You wouldn’t have sex with me?” y/n asked. She was only teasing but Bill knew she wouldn't have said that if she was sober.

“It-it’s not luh-luh-like th-that.” Bill took a deep breath and he didn’t know if this was the night he wanted to be saying all of this but that’s what everything felt like it was leading up to. “I guh-guess I ju-just want t-to marry you.” Bill closed his eyes at the drunken words that thought would be okay to leave his mouth.

“I wanna marry you too,” y/n said through a series of hiccups and a fit of laughter.

They both knew what was coming next. And even though neither of them didn’t want the night to end, it had to.

[nikaidou-stan]

Song Headcanons

ok fuckers, here’s the valentine’s day event!! God, i’m so excited, this isn’t exactly what i usually post so i hope these will turn out well! In short I picked three songs and the respective verses which I think would describe your relationship with them. I tried to pick songs with no specified pronouns but i forgot how heterosexual the music industry was, so i hope it will work out anyways. Enjoy! (also I didn’t add Hina and Takahashi bc even though they’re 16 in my mind they’re basically children i’m sorry)

WARNINGS: idk angsty songs??? there may be too much sleeping at last, damn

REI KIRIYAMA

- Line Without A Hook (by Ricky Montgomery)

“Oh, all my emotions Feel like explosions when you are around And I've found a way to kill the sounds, oh Oh, baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you I need you here to stay”

- This Side Of Paradise (by Coyote Theory)

“Ask me why my heart's inside my throat I've never been in love, I've been alone Feel like I've been living life asleep Love so strong it makes me feel so weak“

- You Are Enough (by Sleeping At Last)

“You're enough, you're enough, you're enough, you are enough These little words, somehow they're changing us. You're enough, you're enough, you are enough So we let our shadows fall away like dust“

HARUNOBU NIKAIDOU

- Latch (by Disclosure feat. Sam Smith)

“I'm so encaptured, got me wrapped up in your touch Feel so enamored, hold me tight within your clutch How do you do it, you got me losing every breath What did you give me to make my heart beat out my chest?”

- San Francisco (by The Mowgli’s)

“I've been in love with love and the idea of, Something binding us together, You know that love is strong enough, And I've seen time tell tales about that, Systematic drug, yeah that heart that beats as one, It's collectively, unconsciously composed”

- Saturn (by Sleeping At Last)

“With shortness of breath I'll try to explain the infinite And how rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist”

KAI SHIMADA

- Stand By Me (by Ben E. King)

“When the night has come And the land is dark And the moon is the only light we'll see No I won't be afraid Oh, I won't be afraid Just as long as you stand, stand by me”

- Can’t Help Falling In Love (by Elvis Presley)

“Like a river flows Surely to the sea Darling, so it goes Some things are meant to be Take my hand Take my whole life too For I can't help falling in love with you”

- I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing (by Aerosmith)

“Lying close to you, feeling your heart beating And I'm wondering what you're dreaming Wondering if it's me you're seeing Then I kiss your eyes And thank God we're together And I just want to stay with you in this moment forever Forever and ever”

TOUJI SOUYA

- Dawning of Spring (by Anson Seabra)

“I got lost while the sunlight was painting us gold I got lost hoping that we would never get old I got lost when you walked with my hand in your hand I got lost when you asked me if I'd like to dance I got lost in the whispering sound of the breeze I got lost in a daydream of silence and peace I got lost in the moment, the space in between I got lost, I got lost in the dawning of spring“

- Hearing (by Sleeping At Last)

“Love is an echo”

- Sun (by Sleeping At Last)

“The dust of dust We are the apple of God’s eye We are infinite as the universe we hold inside Let there be light, let there be light, let me be alright With golden string Our universe was brought to life That we may fall in love Every time we open up our eyes”

MORIO SHIGETA

- Say You Won’t Let Go (by James Arthur)

“I'm so in love with you And I hope you know Darling, your love is more than worth its weight in gold We've come so far, my dear Look how we've grown And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old Just say you won't let go”

- Take Your Time (by Sam Hunt)

“I don't wanna steal your freedom I don't wanna change your mind I don't have to make you love me I just want to take your time”

- Jupiter (by Sleeping At Last)

“Make my messes matter Make this chaos count Let every little fracture in me Shatter out loud”

AKARI KAWAMOTO

- Growing Old On Bleecker Street (by AJR)

“We may be lost And gone forever The rain will wash our memory But when we cry We cry together Like it was meant to be”

- She (by dodie)

“She smells like lemongrass and sleep She tastes like apple juice and peach You would find her in a Polaroid picture And she means everything to me”

- Iris (by Goo Goo Dolls)

“And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now“

KYOUKA KOUDA

- Up To No Good (by The Hoosiers)

“Oh, you think he's looking lovingly at you But it's nowhere near the truth His mind is up to no good Oh, just because you're in the same bed He's with someone else in his head, not a second thought about you”

- Toxic (by Britney Spears)

“With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride You're toxic, I'm slippin' under With a taste of a poison paradise I'm addicted to you Don't you know that you're toxic? And I love what you do Don't you know that you're toxic?“

- Rumors (by Neffex)

“She's got some nice long hair And you know that she's a bad chick All the boys stare Can't help it it's a habit Clothes that she wears Short skirt and a jacket I just wanna get her all alone On a mattress I just wanna have it I just gotta have it”

[sunflowerseraph]

HEEHEE! hits u back with the character game uhh thor or bucky :33

!!! I'll do... BOTH >:D ! It'll be long tho so I'm putting em under cuts :}

Here's the ask game btw!

Thor!

How I feel about this character: OH he's such a bi disaster. But he's trying his best. Textbook himbo. Crushed under the weight of his father's expectations of him alot of the time. Probably struggles with self worth nowadays too,with the battles and family he's lost! Also he's very much like those memes abt dudes/dads where they'll mention some horrible childhood trauma and then have some funny song playing in their head like nothin even happened.! I feel like he cares very deeply for the friendships he's made and the found family he's gained with the warriors three [rip] and the avengers! Overall? Kind himbo who respects women and forgets how smart he is sometimes.

All the people I ship romantically with this character: honestly this is such a hard question cause im sure if u presented me with like,good reasons for most people then I'd be on board. But so far one of my Main ships for Thor rn is Bruce and Thor <3 GammaHammer makes me happy :} I've seen thor n valkyrie stuff too which is like aight they're all bi4bi t4t prolly,but honestly a polycule or some shit w Bruce Val and thor would be Inch resting :} I'm not sure tho! Oh and Jane Foster I Guess but she's not rlly up there.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: OH absolutely thor and loki ! Brothers 🤍 I rewatch the thor movies the other day and seeing them fight together and hang out as kids made me so 🥺❗ yknow? I also think Thor n Darcy are a fun pair! Thor and the warriors three make me :} as well bc they're all buddies! That's his little family yknow!! Or. Was.

My unpopular opinion about this character: listen i know I just called him a himbo but he's smarter than people give him credit for I think. But also he's pretty cocky at times with his fighting ability and I feel like that's his greatest downfall. He tends to sorta think he can do everything on his own,and he doesn't rely on others until he really needs to and it ends up w him or his companions hurt :(

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: ough I wish we could've gotten more time to see him experiencing earth stuff! In other like shows n such (like one of the animated series) its funny to see him interacting with mortals and I feel like we don't get that enough. Like sure we got the "another!" Scene and if you watched the YouTube mocumentary he obviously doesn't understand money or jobs. But it's still funny and I'd like to see him go "I don't understand what that means :D" like an optimistic puppy yknow :]

Uhmm yeh that's for thor! OK Bucky time 🤍

Bucky-

How I feel about this character: I feel like. They should do more w him in the mcu! But that's just bc im a kinnie ig but it makes me sad that he's just viewed as Steve's Sidekick when he's got a personality and works so well as Sam's partner in TFAWTS! I like the representation he can bring to the table though,regarding disability (I mean even though. He's an enhanced person but yknow.) And mental health! He also shows that your past doesn't need to define you and you CAN be free and work past old mistakes.! I feel like he's a little out of touch sometimes bc of the time shifts and mental stuff goin on,but I'm not saying it's a bad thing,its just compelling to meeee

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I USED to ship stevebucky I won't lie,but I much rather prefer SamBucky bc its just better LMAO Sam is much cooler than Steve in many regards and to me Sam is a better influence on Buckys life ig? Like. Idk how to explain it well enough but their banter is better and they compliment eachother rather than one of them taking the reigns all the time. I just like the level playing field where it still feels like Bucky can be a Sidekick but his partner at the same time rather than Just Bucky Barnes. Idk if that makes sense but !

My non-romantic OTP for this character: honestly I'm not sure? I feel like if they could both get over association's with like...almost killing eachother Bucky and Nat could be friends :] both were molded to be Weapons and have to deal with their traumas and mental health. Obviously I also wish Steve would've stuck around bc I hate that he like.LEFT his best friend and new family,but whatever.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I think bucky is sort of a dork actually. Alot of people make him very stoic and Winter Soldiery but that's. Not all he is! He's a complex person who's been used and weaponized and its annoying whenever people try to say he's a stoic person or whatever. Like no bro ur thinking abt the winter soldier. Ofc the winter solider was/is part of him and that doesn't just shut off but I think it's bs to boil him down to Killing Machine Assasinator Ooo Scary! When he was also a soldier during. Fucking Ww2! He was also like shown to be a bit of a dorky guy who liked to dance and be with chick's n shit lmao,like he mustve been a charmer. And even after,like during tfatws he's shown to still have bits of that personality. He messes around with Sam's nephews and offers help without prompting and just overall wants to live a more peaceful life while still managing to be social and humorous. ("How old are you anyways?" "106.") Anyways I think what I'm saying is ppl tend to forget to split him and tws.!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: this is sort of similar to the Thor thing but discovering new age shit! Like I wanna see him be bad at tech or be confused by new slang. Also wanna see him like, get annoyed at how the tech is where he's at vs. The wakandan tech. That shit probably blew his socks off and then he had to go hang w Americans and went :(?? How do i use a flip phone. The beads were so convenient in Wakanda HFNEBDB. I also wish we could've actually seen how bucky Healed in Wakanda?? Like however he was helped yknow? I'm sure they (mcu) can't like do much besides say he was Magically Cured Of Mental Illness so I guess I'm glad they left it up to whatever but. Still 😔

Anyways uhm yeah! Sorry this is so long sjdjf it prolly doesn't make much sense but 👍❤

[donkey-hyuck]

Bus Ride Away

^^ song based off of Bryce Xavier

A/N- the lyrics are italicized, whether they are dialogue or included into the story separately. And in no way is this story based on the title (sorry) just based off of the lyrics and meaning. A lot of cursing! Lots of time skips

Word count- 6.9k

Genre- angst/ some fluff/ post breakup! Au/ college! Au (almost half of the story)

Characters/pairing- jung jaehyun X Fem! Reader (not really bc they don’t get back together, sorry if that’s not what you wanted but it’s my story lol😝)/ Johnny Seo/ mentions Mark and Taeyong/ original characters (Byeol, Hina)/ extras that aren’t prominent to the story.

Introducing- after three long years of loving him, your love died out. Jung Jaehyun had been your high school sweetheart and you wouldn’t have it any other way. From junior year in high school to your freshman year in university, you gave each other your all. After ending it on good terms, you moved on easily. While your ex lover had less luck with falling out of love with you. Years had passed by and Jung Jaehyun still had so much love for you, and when you received an email from “an old friend” you definitely weren’t expecting it to be him.

The lyrics of the song that are mentioned are NOT in order of how the song goes.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Falling in love with Jung Jaehyun at sixteen was all you could ever ask for. He was the star athlete during all seasons, he had high marks when it came to academics, he was a part of the dance club, and he sang so well when auditioning for plays that the school held, getting the lead role almost instantly.

Falling in love with you at sixteen was all Jaehyun could ever ask for. You were a part of the tutoring service at school, captain of the girls volleyball team, head of the theatrics, a part of the student council, and was the lead singer during choir.

The two of you were the idol couple. Of course people were jealous of one or the other. Hell, students from across town admired the two of you. As a couple, you and Jaehyun had been a part of so much during school and extracurricular activities, helping students, teachers, and the community. There was just so much cheer whenever you two were around. And you remained as a couple through senior year graduation, making people think the two of you would last forever, for sure.

But somewhere during the first semester of your freshman year in university, your love for Jung Jaehyun had slowly dialed down. Too caught up in your music- theory and composition major and communications major, you had realized you didn’t have enough time for Jaehyun. The two majors you were enrolled in were quite opposite therefore, meaning that you didn’t have enough time to share with Jaehyun. It was upsetting because you loved the man so much, but you wanted to have a good job, and you wanted him to excel at life. Being in a relationship was something you had never seen in your life, always thinking it was a bit of a burden. So when Jung Jaehyun had asked you out, it took some time to respond and reciprocate his feelings. And when you agreed to go out with Jaehyun, he treated you like a small chinese porcelain doll. You meant everything to him.

“Can you meet me at the lake near campus? I need to tell you something.” It was so nerve wracking as your fingers moved across the keyboard on the screen. Contemplating on sending it, you acquired that it was bound to happen at some point. And now was that time. Walking toward the small lake you and Jaehyun would meet when you needed to relieve your stress, shivers had crawled down your spine and through your whole body.

“Hey, what did you want to talk about?” Asked Jaehyun from the little arched bridge. Nervousness filled you up again, you were not expecting him to be there first. You had wanted to reach the lake first in hopes you could practice, for the nth time, what you were going to say.

“Jaehyun…” you exhaled the breath you held in. “I didn’t know how to say this and I practiced saying this for a while. Just know that this is for the best and I love you so much.... But, I think we should call it off. University is getting to my head and I don’t want to cause any pain to you when seeing me stressed out about my life. I want the best for you and that’s not with me anymore. I’m incredibly sorry and I love you more than words can explain. You showed me what the statement high school sweethearts meant. I’m so appreciative of having someone like you in my life. You taught me how to live, you taught me how to be brave, you taught me how to love. But we have to move on now, our lives will only get more complicated from here. And from the bottom of my heart, I’ll always love you endlessly.” It was quiet for some time before Jaehyun looked up and smiled a bittersweet smile, with tears rimming his almond eyes you were sure you were going to miss. “I don’t want to, but I agree. This is for the best of us and I know that’s all you want for me. It’s sad, I definitely wasn’t expecting this when you asked to meet. But I know your feelings are genuine and I don’t want to keep you from achieving your dream. I’ll love you endlessly and when you release music, I’ll be your number one fan.” Tears dripped down his face as you both chuckled. Lifting your hand and wiping the tears you’d barely seen after three years, tears filled your eyes too. “Don’t cry, or else you’ll make me cry,” you whined and he laughed, resting his hand on yours that lied on his cheek. “I’ll love you until the end of time.” He closed his eyes, “I think you should go now, it’s getting pretty late. And I know you have work to do. We‘ll stay as friends, yeah?” Nodding. “Of course we will.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Four years. It had been four years since your breakup with Jung Jaehyun. It was funny, remembering to stay friends, but that never happened. While looking forward to seeing your new, old, friend it seemed that he didn’t want to be linked with you, which was weird since he was the one to suggest it. But you couldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see you again, you broke the guys heart. Moving on from Jung Jaehyun was easier than you had initially thought, considering he was your first true love, you’d taken the breakup better than you believed you would, and didn’t think much past that.

It was the night of your graduation. Your friends had begged you to attend the party since you’re no longer going to be in school, unless you wanted an associates or master’s degree. “Come on Y/N! You’ve been so cooped up in your apartment all these years. We’ve graduated and now we can get our lives situated,” said Byeol. “Ooh, okay! Fine… But I’m not drinking. And if anything happens I’m getting my ass out of that frat house.” Hina and Byeol screeched in joy. “Thank you! We love you so much.”

Arriving at Yuta’s apartment complex, Hina and Byeol practically dragged you to the roof, where the party was happening. Opening the door, people who attended your university greeted your popular and outgoing friends. “Y/N! I’m glad you could make it! Finally you’re out of your apartment for some fun!” Said Yuta— a Japanese transferee— with the iconic red plastic cup in his hand. Looking around you noticed Jaehyun, he was standing less than ten feet away and was chatting with Johnny Seo— tallest member of the basketball team and fellow communications peer. Surprisingly, when looking at your ex-lover, you had felt nothing but happiness for him. You were happy he moved on. And while at the event, guys had instantly approached you, aghast to see you leave your apartment at night, to attend a frat party.

Jealousy was the word to express what Jung Jaehyun was feeling. Seeing the attention towards you, Jaehyun was surprised to see you there. But overall, he was jealous. It wasn't your intention, gosh you hated to make people feel jealous, he knew you felt that way, but people were just dismayed to see you at a party. “Hey, Jae? What’s wrong?”

When you’re with your friends you try to pretend that you moved on but you can’t.

After your breakup, Jaehyun went straight to Johnny’s apartment and spit out everything that had happened. He was upset and sad at first, but claimed to say he was doing fine without you. After a while, Jaehyun did a pretty good job in telling Johnny he was over you. Either that or Johnny Seo was just too damn gullible.

Looking back to you, he saw you were the same person you were four years ago. It was insane that he still had so many feelings for you after all these years. He just didn’t have the guts to approach you. He was a coward after asking to be friends and flat out ignoring you; how selfish of him. He knew you didn’t want him hurting and dwelling on his feelings. If only you knew how much Jung Jaehyun missed you, but you would— probably— never know.

Approaching you, the cup in Jaehyun’s hand had been slightly quivering as his legs had a mind of its own. “Jae, long time no see.” he smiled, “Yeah…” , “So, how have you been these years? We haven’t seen each other in a while.” Seeing you smiling and not hurt almost healed Jaehyun’s single heart, only to have it crushed again once he realized you were no longer together, you hadn’t been together since 2013. “I’ve been okay. Academics are a pain in the ass but I get help from my friends here and there. What about you? How’ve you been?” , “I’ve been doing the same. You know, same old, same old. Picked up painting again, so I’ve been painting in my apartment to get rid of my stress.” Jaehyun remembered when he bought you a canvas and paint brushes, somehow forgetting the paint. But he loved to see you paint, the creativity from your mind flowing to the white canvas. Fuck, he missed it all.

“Y/N! I have someone I want you to meet!” Shouted yuta from the other side of the roof. “Sorry, duty calls,” you laughed, “Uh, it was good seeing you safe and happy. Maybe we can hang out, you know, as friends one day, only if you’d like.” , “I would like that, yes. And it was great seeing you too Y/N.” He always loved the sound of your laugh, it brought him so much joy. He always tried to make you laugh, but now he was only making things feel awkward because he was a douche that continuously ignored you.

The night was only eleven but Hina and Byeol were sensibly intoxicated by all the alcohol. “You got them Y/N?”, “Yeah, bye guys.” Throwing them in the car, you walked to the driver's seat and started to drive to your apartment which was, thankfully, not far from Yuta’s apartment. “Hey, Y/N…. you know… Hina and I…. Hina and I…. We were talking to the jackass that ignored you….. and you know what he said…? The idiot said he misses you, and still loves you!.... what a joke,” their words were slurred but you hit the brakes anyway. “What? Why would he say that?” The girls were unable to answer since they were just knocked out cold. “He still loves me?”

You would have been lying if you said you were still in love with Jung Jaehyun. You loved him, just not in the way you used to. You just loved him as a friend now, and only wished for the best, without you. Your feelings were easily sidetracked because of school and didn’t think much about your feelings towards him. Though, it was clear to you now that Jung Jaehyun had never got rid of his love for you; his romantic feelings.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

After Jaehyun talked to his first love, his feelings had been exploding out of his chest. He was overjoyed to see you doing fine, picking up old hobbies the two of you shared. Painting. Maybe he should pick up painting too, just to try to connect to you once more. But he knew it would only make his feelings get stronger, if that was even possible.

Oh it’s sad to love someone so much who you know doesn’t care enough.

Jaehyun knew you still cared about him. You could never not care about him. However, he knew you cared for him like a close friend, maybe not even close. Even so, it made him think that there could be a chance. There could be a possibility for the two of you to get back together again.

“You idiot! You lied to me after all these years?! How could you lie to me like that?” Yelled Johnny when Jaehyun confessed his true feelings about you. “I thought I was going to get over her, but I just can’t! We gave each other our all and loved each other infinitely, but we broke it off. It was mutual, but I tried to convince myself that I would feel the same as her. Shocker! I didn’t, and holy shit do I love her so much. But I’m a prissy loser that can’t and won’t do anything to confuse her, hurt her, upset her, or disappoint her. Believe me, I tried, I really did. But everything I did never worked out and I’m stuck with a one sided love.” Grumbled Jaehyun, downing the rest of the spiked liquid and harshly placing the cup onto the table. “You are….” started Johnny. “This is all on you…. It’s your decision what to do with everything going on. I’ll be here for moral support and advice to give but everything you end up doing is all decided by you.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Reader

Hina and Byeol woke up late the following morning. “Eat up while it’s still hot! Some drunk remedies for you alcoholics,” you joked, placing the bowl of soup in front of your friends. “Ugh I had the most horrible dream. I dreamt that we talked to that jerk-face Jaehyun and he revealed that he still loved you. It made my head hurt so bad, oh my gosh.” You dropped the other bowl of soup to the floor, shattering glass and boiling hot broth spilled on your feet; your face, expressionless, almost. “Woah! What’s gotten into you?!” Shouted Byeol. “Hina…. that wasn’t a dream. Last night, when I was driving home, you said Jaehyun missed me and he still loves me.” It was dead silent, the girls stopped wiping the floor. “What…? You broke up four years ago. How does he still have feelings after four damn years?” Emphasized Hina, standing up to throw away the paper towel and broken pieces of glass. “Never mind that! Do you feel the same way Y/N? Do you still love Jung Jaehyun?” Cleaning your soup stained feet, you walked to one of the stools. “.... I don’t, that’s why I’m so surprised. I thought he and I were at the same stage of being over each other. But I guess we’re not and he still has so much love for me…. When I don’t feel the same….” It was quite the predicament.

“Well, are you going to confront him?” , “..... I can’t. I already broke his heart once. I don’t love him like that anymore, no, but I still have emotions, and I’m a considerate human being. I can’t break his heart twice within a span of four years. I hoped that day was enough,” looking up to your friends who had confused looks on their faces. “I’ll just wait it out I suppose, we talked for a little last night and he seemed fine. But if he comes to me then I’ll let him down, again. If he doesn’t, it’s better for me not to see him sad, especially since his sadness is because of me.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

“I can’t wait to meet you, girls!!! I have so much to tell you!!” The girls squealed over video chat while you were eating a small snack before bed. After a couple months of applying to different jobs, you had gotten accepted to work as a producer under SM Entertainment, it was truly rousing.

Hina and Byeol always wanted to keep in contact with you, they were your best friends, after all. And soon separating due to jobs, your small friend group was finally in Seoul at the same time. “I do too! The boutique is coming along so much better than last month's apparels!” Hina had pursued her career in the business and fashion game while Byeol was hired as a popular photographer for W Magazine.

“You will NOT believe who I had scheduled a shoot with the other day. Y/N you will lose your absolute shit when we see each other. I’ll tell you girls then, but for now I have to go shower and sleep. Tomorrow’s shoot is such a big deal for the magazine label. Bye! I love you both.” Subsequent to what Byeol had gossiped, curiosity spread in both you and Hina’s mind. “I wonder who she saw. And why she‘s acting like that.” Questioned Hina, scratching her head making you laugh. “Me too. I guess we’ll find out when we see each other on Wednesday. But I have to bathe Danbi. Can’t wait to see you! Love you Hina!” , “Okay, good luck with that. Love you too!” Closing your laptop, you shouted for Danbi, your year- and- a- half old nureongi dog. Whilst running the bath you couldn’t help but to wonder who Byeol previously worked with for her to tell you and freak out. “Who the hell could it be?”

The day of your meet, Wednesday. Waking up at around nine in the morning, you checked your emails that needed to be answered. Scrolling down, one email had caught your eye. From: An old friend, To: Y/N, Subject: ….Hi there :) “You’re absolutely kidding me.”

The restaurant Hina reserved, prior, was packed with people sitting in booths and waiting in line. “What the hell did you drag us into?” , “Relax, I had reservations set for us already.” The— quite attractive— waiter had brought you three to your table and did waiter things. “Okay, so…. my recent photo shoot was with…. Jung fucking Jaehyun, and Johnny Seo.” Hina, dramatically, choked while drinking her water. “Well, let me tell you… the same person emailed me at three in the morning, today.” Now both Byeol and Hina choked on their water. “You’re fucking with us!” , “I’m being dead serious. Look at my emails.”

“To the most lovely person, it’s Jaehyun. I know it’s been years upon years and I’m a prick that can’t stick to my words; but it’s been a while and I just wanted to reach out if we can actually hang out. As friends. I totally get why you wouldn’t want to catch up with me, and I totally understand if you don’t even respond. But I’d appreciate it if we could eventually meet up, even with our busy schedules. - Jung Jaehyun,” read Byeol with a traumatized look on her face and Hina with an even more traumatic expression on her‘s. “Look behind Y/N. Right now.” She was seated at the nearest end of the booth and she had seen the person that can’t get rid of his feelings, walk into the occupied restaurant.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

He’d been contemplating on writing a letter, texting you— if you still had the same number— or emailing you. “I’ll just email her,” he decided. Shakily opening his laptop in the midnight air, Jaehyun pressed the keys to your email address.

And it hurts, I wanna text so bad but you don’t want your best friend mad. ‘Cause they told you to walk away, but it’s hard and you’re feeling weak.

When Jaehyun called Johnny prior, he was upset but couldn’t control his best friend's romantic life. “Look, I don’t have a say in this but you shouldn’t text her by her number. You’d be crazy if you did that. Just email her I guess, but it’s been three years since you last saw her and it’s been seven whole years since you’ve been together. Jaehyun, I get that you love her but isn’t this a little crazy? And by a little I mean a lot crazy? What about her can’t you not forget? She’s clearly over you by now.” Jaehyun didn’t know either. He couldn’t answer Johnny’s questions because he didn’t have an answer. It was just difficult to think and talk about. And, of course, Jaehyun tried to get rid of his feelings for you. Going on blind dates, having one night stands, drinking his feelings away, but nothing helped, nothing cured him.

Jaehyun had been scouted as a model while working at some beat down cafe. It'd been about a year since his college graduation and he was pursuing his dream of being an architect. A not very known architect, at the time, but an architect nonetheless.

April 22, 2020 had been the schedule for his shoot with Johnny for W Magazine. While fitting into their Leonardo DiCaprio style clothes, they waited for the photographer they were to work with that day. Byeol had walked into the room, talking to a couple of the staff and when she turned to see her models, her face had dropped. The men had soon realized that their photographer was your best friend. Immediately going up to Byeol, Jaehyun had tried to talk to her about you. “It’s not for me to tell you how she is. Now get ready, I want this photo shoot done, pronto.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Looking to the table he had sat at, a girl was placed across him. “Wait! That’s Park Chaeyoung, she’s one of my models for this month's launch. What are they doing together?” , “What a two faced dickdead.” Scoffed Byeol, turning back to you and looking you in the eyes. “That wrench practically begged me to tell him how you’re doing and now he’s on a date with some model!? Quite the unbelievable person Jung Jaehyun is.”

Eating whatever you ordered, the girls just talked about how they were doing and scheduling your next get-together. Until Jaehyun walked by your table to get to the restroom. “Oh! I can talk to Chaeyoung now. I’ll inform you about what she says.”

Gliding across the room, Hina sat across Chaeyoung, catching her attention and smiling brightly. “Hi Hina! What brings you here? Did you just come here to talk about your launch? If so, I’m quite busy-” , “No, no. I’m here with my friends and we wanted to know why you’re here with, uh, Jung Jaehyun.” Her eyes virtually lit up at the mention of his name. “Oh, blind date. Our mutual friends set us up. He’s quite the guy! Super respectful, kind, and not to mention, incredibly good looking.”

Jaehyun had seen your face walking back from the restroom, and he paused in his steps, looking at the food-smiling you. He then looked back at Chaeyoung. The whole purpose of this blind date was to get over you, not see you. So, ignoring you, Jaehyun strided past, in small hopes you would notice that he was there; no luck. While looking ahead, he perceived his blind date to be talking to Hina, another one of your best friends. “Sorry, your date is back. But we’ll talk during the try-on. I’ll see you then, Chaeyoung.” , “Of course!” Hina glared at Jaehyun and purposefully bumped shoulders as she walked back to your table.

“They’re on a blind date. She seemed super interested in him. But I don’t know about the other story.” Byeol looked at the pair from her seat, making you laugh. “Guys it’s okay. It’s been seven years. I’m happy he’s finally going on dates. I appreciate it that you guys care, but I honestly don’t. Jaehyun is his own person and I am my own person. And we are separated, we have been separated for over six years now.”

Chatting away, your best friends couldn’t help but to look back at the table, only to see Jaehyun constantly glancing his way to yours. “Why do you guys keep looking back at their table?” You laughed at their faces but they just ignored your words and continued to stare down the blockhead that continually lied to you. “Maybe we should just go now… I think they’re a little uncomfortable. Plus, we don’t want them to ruin our plans for today, yeah?” They nodded and asked for a check. Walking out of the busy restaurant, Chaeyoung bid a goodbye to Hina and Jaehyun turned around only to see your back walking towards the exit.

If we ruled time and space and the Milky Way, would you reach me? Yeah, I know you wouldn’t reach me, but I hope that you think of me.

You had always thought of Jaehyun. After all, seven years had gone by so quickly and you had always wondered if he still had feelings or if he was still hurt. Whatever the reason was you were sincerely happy that he was moving on. And you were glad to see him more well-mannered and gentlemanly than he already was.

Jaehyun was glad to see you’d matured so well over the years he’d never seen you, but that made him miss you more everyday. Johnny had persistently been setting Jaehyun up on blind dates to get rid of his fondness for you, though to no avail and Johnny fails every time.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

It had been around four in the evening when Jaehyun went back to his shared apartment with Johnny. “Damnit Johnny I saw Y/N at that stupid restaurant. My affection for her is only getting stronger and I don’t know how to relieve them. This is taking such a big toll on me but it’s been seven fucking years. My heart aches for her so much and I don’t have a clue why!” He let out once more and Johnny just sighed, sitting on the couch next to his best friend. “Then just open up to her about it. She works under SM, yeah? Just ask around for her, you're doing a shoot with Wendy, right? Well, Y/N’s a producer for multiple artists under SM, just ask Wendy then.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

It was the upcoming day and you were getting ready to work with Red Velvet and Super Junior. Opening the door and walking towards one of the receptionists, you had signed in and walked straight to one of the recording studios and greeted whoever tendered a good morning. “Morning Y/N!” Greeted Taeyong and Mark, a duo under SM but also a part of Super M, SM’s newest debut boy group. You’d worked together in the past, only on a couple of songs but they were really good friends with you. “Morning boys! You guys are quite hyper at this time in the morning. I’m almost done with my coffee and you guys have more energy than I do!” You played and pointed to the dark circles under your eyes, which you tried to conceal with makeup. They laughed and gave you a short hug. “What’s your schedule today, Y/N?” , “Just some stuff for Red Velvet and Suju. We don’t record until Sunday, though. What about you boys?”

“We have our choreo that we have to finish and then some try-on stuff for our promotions and music video.” , “I’m sad that we can’t work together this time. But good luck with that! I’ll be definitely checking out the album when it comes out! Bye Mark, bye Taeyong!”

You unlocked your office— which was basically just a recording studio— and went straight to the cafe on the ground floor since your manager had asked to grab him a cup of coffee.

“Hey. Weren’t expecting you down here.” The voice was so distinct. “I work here…?” It sounded like you were irritated but you really weren’t, just confused because you had thought he knew you worked under SM. “Oh- I know, it’s just, I uh….” He scratched his neck in embarrassment. “I just didn’t know what to say when I approached you. Plus you always used to have coffee at home.” You were surprised he remembered something as small as that. “I just came down here to get some breakfast and the coffee is for my partner. We’re working with Suju soon. Then we’re working with Red Velvet.” , “So am I! Well, just with Wendy, we have an SM Station coming up. Today’s just the shoot for it.”

“Y/N, your order!” , “Sorry. I didn’t expect to see you here, especially so early, since you’re not a morning person. But text me some time, yeah? I still have the same number so we can communicate whenever you’d like.” This made Jaehyun beyond exhilarated. Maybe there was hope after all; you remembered how he hated mornings and you offered him to text you. And he was stoked to finally see progress, though it was mostly his fault of the zero progress, anyways.

“Of course! I guess we’ll be seeing each other a little more for a while then.” , “Yeah. But I really gotta go. See you whenever Jae.” He was happy to finally be having a less awkward conversation with you. His emotions were exploding out of his heart but he was able to contain them. He was happy that you were calling him Jae again, no one ever really called him that besides Johnny. And at this moment, Jung Jaehyun was content with your interaction. This time, Jaehyun promised himself to buff up and get over everything because, as of now, you two were friends— or at least he’d hoped you were. Luck was on his side and now he didn’t have to ask Wendy about you. He barely even knew the girl.

While in the middle of their shoot, you had intruded to ask some staff how much longer it would take. “Maybe, thirty more minutes? This is the last outfit for the shoot then she’s all yours,” explained one of the makeup artists. “Can I sit here then? Just to wait, and only for ten minutes. I need to set up a little bit soon.” , “Of course you can!” So, scrolling through your phone and occasionally looking up Wendy and Jaehyun had a short five minute break. “Wendy!” , “Y/N!” She waved, getting her lipstick and hair retouched. “I’m about to go to my studio. I’ll see you and the girls then!”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you in about twenty. Bye Y/N!” Sauntering toward the exit, Jaehyun bid you a goodbye as well. “Bye, I hope we meet again soon!” You beckoned. There were no words to describe how Jaehyun was feeling. He had no idea where the sudden burst of confidence came from, but it came then and he was fortunate enough to experience it now. Better now than never, he thought.

The ensuing day, Jaehyun had texted you to eat and catch up over some brunch. “Only if you’re not busy. Which is totally fine if you are. We can reschedule!” You chuckled at the text, he was still the same shy and awkward high school boy from years ago. “I’m down. We can meet at the front of the building at 11:30. I have a meeting to attend first.” , “Great!”

Driving to the label, your routine had been the same as the days before and took the elevator up to the meeting room. Once the boring, yet, necessary meeting was over, you placed your binder of papers on the desk and walked back to the entrance of SM. You smiled when approaching Jaehyun. Tapping on his shoulder, he turned around and returned your smile. “Ready? I’m taking us to The Hideout. I don’t know if you remember but I really liked eating there.” Your smile only grew wider, and your eyes were squinted shut in happiness. “I do remember! We used to always get banana bread and french toast. Gosh, I missed that place! I haven’t been there since 2013.” , “You and me both,” he said on the quieter side, anticipating your ears weren’t able to catch what he had said. You did, but you wanted to convince yourself that this was all in good fun and you two were friends now. It was impossible that after the years that had passed, he still had some sort of romantic feelings for you. But oh boy, were you wrong. He just didn’t want to admit it to you, at least, not yet.

The car ride was exactly the opposite of what you’d thought it was going to be, thankfully. Jaehyun brought so many topics into the conversation during the ride and while you were eating. “We should definitely order the banana bread and french toast! It’s been a while since I had some good brunch food!”

And all of a sudden, after being in the café for a short while, the discussion had gotten more serious, “Look, Y/N. I know I was an ass in the past but I finally had the guts to ask to go out and not bail on you. And I’m incredibly sorry for always ignoring you and not sticking to my words. I’m a jerk that you shouldn't have forgiven but I’m so damn grateful you put up with me for almost a whole decade. Gosh, I’m such a fake person, but I’m here to make up for it. And I’m glad we’re here together, as friends.” Every word that exited Jaehyun’s lips were genuine and sincere. He was happy to finally reconnect with the one he used to call his love. Yet at the same time, he was sorrowful he wasn’t able to reconnect earlier, he was sorrowful that you and he were no longer together. But there was nothing he could do, it was your decision and you both talked it out.

“You’re completely fine! I mean, I get why you didn’t want to talk to me. I broke your heart and you weren’t ready for it. It’s my fault I suppose, I was the one to unexpectedly tell you what was going on. But I’m happy as well. I’m happy you’re doing fine, and I’m happy we’re here as friends. And I’m happy you went on that date with Chaeyoung, you really needed it, I could tell… Oh! Speaking of Chaeyoung I wanted to ask how you two were doing. If the both of you were no longer going out on blind dates.” Your eyes had lit up at the thought of him being in another relationship. “We’re not, unfortunately. She did divulge in her thoughts about me, I just didn’t feel the same, I guess. She was undoubtedly nice but something just didn’t click between the both of us.” The light in your eyes had now dropped down. “That sucks. I’m sorry for asking then.” , “Oh, no! You’re great, I don’t really like blind dates anyway.”

The next half hour had passed by quickly and your manager had called you to meet at the studio for another, abrupt, meeting. “Well let’s go, I don’t want you to be late for that!” Jaehyun was still as kindhearted and delightful as you remembered. It was one of the things you loved and admired about him.

“Maybe we can meet again some time..?” , “We sure can! Honestly, we can just meet at the café on the first floor while you’re working with Wendy. But if you have any other plans, definitely text me! Well, I’ll be off now. I hope you enjoy the rest of the day in SM. Bye Jae.” Turning toward the elevator, Jaehyun admired your figure, then Wendy taps his back, jolting his reflexes. “Woah. Jung Jaehyun, are you interested in L/N, Y/N.” He sighed, a shy and sly smile appeared on his dimpled face. “I am. And I have been for seven whole years. Well, almost seven.” , “Wait, what? What do you mean?”

“I mean that I’ve loved Y/N for that long.... We separated seven years ago and I’m still so damn in love with her. Our anniversary is on June fourth. I want to take her out then and reveal my care for her.” Wendy sighed, patting Jaehyun on his back. “Good luck with that but she doesn’t seem to feel the same way.” The dimples on his face disappeared, “I know… when she and I broke up, she seemed completely fine and I was suffering. And I was a douchebag because I ignored her for years. Now’s the time to recover the time I had missed.” , “Are you going to tell her?” She looked at the taller man who was still staring at the elevator you took to your office. “Eventually….. June fourth, I will. I have to let go of my feelings for her and I think telling her that I still love her will help. That or Johnny just sucks at giving advice.” She sighed, a little disappointed, in a way. “Well, good luck with that. But just don’t think about it now. June fourth is still a couple months away. Just spend more time together and confess to her then. Now, let’s go, they’re going to get mad that we’re late.”

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Meeting with Jaehyun over the past two months was very pleasurable. You did miss his old self, you missed hanging out with Jung Jaehyun more than anything. He was such good company once he opened up, it was also one of the things you loved about him.

“Oh my gosh did you remember when Mrs. Yoon caught us making out? Her face was honestly priceless. Man, I hated her being.” He laughed. Of course you remembered, how could you not? “Yeah, she never bothered us the rest of the semester!” Reminiscing you past, the two of you joked around. You fooled around so much that you caught strangers stares.

“Well, I had fun tonight Y/N. I’ll invite you to dinner again soon. But dress up, I think I’m going to reserve a fancy restaurant.” It was quite weird, but it was Jung Jaehyun. And he was a sucker for sentimental moments. “Okay. Thanks for today. I had fun, like always. I’ll see you then. And thanks for the ride, I totally could have drove there myself.” , “I wouldn’t let you do that though.” Standing on your toes, you hugged the man that used to own your heart. “Thank you, Jae.” He hugged back. “Don’t thank me. But I’ll see you soon, yeah?” You nodded and waved as he walked to his car.

While showering your face had dropped, thinking about Jaehyun. You’d hoped he didn’t get any ideas about you having feelings for him. “No, he can’t be into me, after seven years he still can't have the same feelings. That’s impossible.”

June 4, 2020. You vividly remembered the date of your anniversary with Jaehyun. And it was fishy he had texted you, the morning of, about going to Rich Table, a renewed fancy restaurant downtown. “What is this boy up to this time?” You’d thought while reading the text he’d sent you.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Jung Jaehyun

Jaehyun looked in the mirror. Fixing his tie and gelling his hair down, he retold himself, “Just admit that you still love her but you didn’t want things to feel unwieldy. You got this Jung Jaehyun. She’s over you and you have to move on.”

And it breaks me inside, ‘cause I know that it’s been over now.

There were no words in the entirety of the universe to explain how he felt, and how guilty he was since he still loved you. Jaehyun knew you remembered your anniversary, and he felt so distressed about you remembering. He knew you must’ve thought something was wrong.

But you make excuses still, so there’s a reason not to kill every feeling you have for them.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾

Eight P.M., Thursday June fourth. Like he promised, Jaehyun was at your door by eight sharp. The car ride, this time, had so much unknown tension. And while placing yourselves at the table, there was still absolute silence. It was quiet when you ordered and it continued to stay quiet as you ate, the both of you avoiding eye contact with each other.

“Y/N.... I know what you’re thinking. But I just wanted to take you out today to confess that I am still so in love with you.” You were silent, and looking straight at the table. “I’m sorry I was such a coward after not admitting it to you after years had gone by. But I wanted to find the perfect time to tell you, and I figured today was the right time. I already knew that you knew I had something planned. And I’m sure this wasn’t what you were expecting. I apologize a million times for being such a wuss and not saying anything at all. I thought that trying to meet with you would make every emotion that you taught me, go away. You’re probably mad as I say all this, but I don’t blame you. But those feelings have drifted away slowly…. You know, here and there. So, I wanted to tell you this as friends….. that if…. if you were only a bus ride away, would you see me?” It was hushed for a long moment, until you looked up at him with tears in your eyes. “Of course I would. We’re okay now. Why would you even ask that? And I couldn’t never stay mad at you. I’m not that kind of person, Jaehyun. Just know that we broke up and you were fine with it, and please know that I still have so much love for you in my heart.” He dryly laughed. “But not the same way I do. I missed us a lot, I missed you a fuck-ton. But most importantly, I wanted to say that I miss when you needed me.”

[la-paritalienne]

hellooooo 🍭 how are you?? Just letting you know your fans are waiting for your usual song by song review for Chemtrails 😇 if you want to do one!!!! Xx

😍😭 omgggg this is long overdue :((( i’ve been neglecting my tumblr for a series of reasons – some of which regrettable – and i can’t believe this slipped my mind! please let me know if you see it and thank you for asking. i’m always amazed that someone cares. without further ado!

white dress: i looooove this as an opening track, the breathy voice is perfect and the song sets the tone for the whole album, both vocally and lyrically. the chorus is super catchy and got stuck in my head from the first listen (which was before the album came out hehe), i adore the look how i do this, look how i got this part. downatthemaninmusicbusinessconferece kinda makes me laugh but at the same time it’s iconic and different. also, i wish i could keep this for myself but i feel compelled to say that the way she sings down in orlANdo reminds me of sweet brown’s i got bronCHithis fgkgkkg so yeah funny AND iconic sums it up.

fave lyrics: ‘cause it made me feel, made me feel like a god / kinda makes me feel like maybe i was better off

8,5/10

chemtrails over the country club: this was by far my fave single, although i wasn’t obsessed w it at first as i got after listening to it within the album. from the first line, it just makes your stomach twist in that bittersweet way. i love the laid back production, the lyrics are poignant and gorgeous (there’s nothing wrong contemplating god, i’m not unhinged or unhappy i’m just wild) and i adore how mundane stuff meets poetic imagery, plus the astrology references... not to mention how brave it is to wanna share those placements (jk, no hate). the different vocals, the falsetto, the layering... it’s just so good. also this might be an unpopular opinion but i think the title is genius and i absolutely support this as a title track.

fave lyrics: you’re in the wind, i’m in the water / nobody’s son, nobody’s daughter

9/10

tulsa jesus freak: this was my fave from the first seconds, it’s stunning, bittersweet, i loooove the production (the little autotune over hurry up gives me chills). i can’t even comment properly because i love everything about it.

fave lyrics: like a little piece of heaven, no more candle in the wind

10/10

let me love you like a woman: i think the opening promises more than what the song delivers, especially the chorus is maybe a bit underwhelming? but tbh after a few listens it grew on me too, i love the high notes and the lyrics are sweet. the first line remains my fave part tho, the way she delivers it... also the verses in general, simple and honest and kind of bratty (i guess i could manage if you stay / its just if you do, i can’t see myself having any fun, so), i can’t not love it.

fave lyrics: talk to me in songs and poems / don’t make me be bittersweet

8+/10

wild at heart: this one gives me old lana vibes, like somewhere between ultraviolence and honeymoon, especially the verse – i’m just obsessed w it. the chorus sounds a lot like some other songs of hers, maybe a little too much for me to enjoy it completely (esp mariner’s apartment complex, her vocal runs sound exactly the same??). anywayyy it’s just a very beautiful song. at first i wasn’t particularly bewildered by this album, like i recognised quality but that was it, but after a few listens i have to say it’s impressive how consistently good the songs are.

fave lyrics: i love you lots like polka dots / you’re killing me more

8-/10

dark but just a game: the hidden gem of the album, competes w tulsa jesus freak for the n.1 spot in my heart, actually maybe it holds it rn, i’m just stunned by it. it almost sounds like lizzy grant’s repertoire, but with lana’s maturity and nonchalance. simply a gorgeous reflection on fame. both musically and lirically i just find it impeccable.

fave lyrics: life is sweet or whatever baby

10/10

not all who wander are lost: ok this might be my least fave (spoiler: with the cover), it’s pretty and the lyrics are good, maybe slightly basic? and it just doesn’t stick w me, it kinda sounds like a poem slightly sung? the background music is maybe too feeble and there’s no memorable melody, if it makes sense. however, the look at me, look at you part elevates it quite a bit. (i mean, it’s no ‘how you like that’, but i liked it)

fave lyrics: the thing about men like you is you got a lot to say / but will you stay?

7-/10

yosemite: another not-fave, maybe this and the previous ones kinda feel like fillers to me, like for my taste, i like them and would never skip them if listening to the whole album, but they wouldn’t make a separate playlist. however, the chorus of this is kind of catchy, although the metrics in we did it for the right reasons kind of bug me, idk why! i also find the song a bit too long and monotone! yes to the candle in the wind reference (again!) tho.

fave lyrics: isn’t it cool how nothing here changes at all?

7/10

breaking up slowly: up there w tjf and dark but just a game. why the fuck isn’t nikki lane credited???? she is insane, when she opens she sounds like stevie nicks and her armonies w lana are perfect. the lyrics are simply heartbreaking and the country feel of it all is unexpected and fresh within the album. love love love

fave lyrics: we might be breakin’ up after this song

10/10

dance ‘till we die: spoiler alert, this song kind of bored me until the rock break??? iconic????? it’s still not my fave bc the verses are a bit too slow and unremarkable to me, but That Part just levels everything up.

fave lyrics: but sometimes, this ranch feels like my only friend / and life doesn’t always work out like we planned / we keep it movin’, babe

7,5/10

for free: i love both weyes and zella, although i find the mix of them + lana a bit confusing, like individually i can tell them all apart, but none of them brings the rawness and contrast w lana that other features of hers did (nikki, stevie!!!). also im sorry joni but i really don’t like this song?? maybe the original is amazing and im an ignorant for not knowing it and it was them who made it so boring and lamentous? idk. anyway. it’s a cover so idk if the vote is more for the song or for the production and adaptation or what but yeah. strong lyrics of course, but this is my opinion on this version of it

fave lyrics: and i’ll play if you’ve got the money / or if you’re a friend to me / but the one-man band by thе quick lunch stand / he’s been playin’ real good for free

6-/10

sooo overall i really loved it and some of the songs i particularly liked are among her best ever to me, though that’s like 100 songs by now so, quite a big list. what did you think? again, thank you for caring and sorry for the delay ❤️❤️❤️❤️