#bc they love me FOR all that stuff!! they love me BC I AM ME!!
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gaywineauntsstuff Ā· 2 days ago
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Listen I love the ā€˜dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructsā€™ trope in fics however
I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goesā€¦ okayā€¦ if thatā€™s how you feel?
Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. Heā€™s off the emergency calls and his ā€˜call for city wide emergencyā€™ has been down graded to ā€˜call for world wide emergencyā€™ heā€™s no longer on comms with oracle
He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesnā€™t send info for investigation and doesnā€™t go within 100feet of Gotham.
Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats
In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. Theyā€™re Dick and Donna a world doesnā€™t exist where they arenā€™t okay.
And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ā€˜teen titans grown up??ā€™ ā€˜Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!ā€™
Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.
And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donnaā€™s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.
And Dick says ā€˜sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hourā€™ as soon as the first sentence is out
No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)
Dick is patched into their comms and heā€™s working efficiently except heā€™s notā€¦ acting like himself.
Heā€™s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, heā€™s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.
But heā€™s talking to them the way he talks when heā€™s offering aid to teams heā€™s not a part of.
Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because heā€™s doing good work. Work thatā€™s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isnā€™t letting their personal issues affect his work.
Heā€™s speaking but not talking
And Bruce remembers thisā€¦ heā€™s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.
Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.
Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches
Bruce and Dick were strangers
And now theyā€™re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, theyā€™ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.
And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.
Once theyā€™ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that heā€™ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.
And then heā€™s gone
No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesnā€™t stay places heā€™s not welcome.
And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didnā€™t know Bruce Wayne.
And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ā€˜the day he found out Jason diedā€™
And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc heā€™s helpful like that)
So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isnā€™t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donnaā€™s apartment and well itā€™s daylight and sheā€™s in civvies sheā€™s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesnā€™t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!
And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up
Something something this is such a nice surprise something something itā€™s so good to see you.
Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever theyā€™re together for a long time they cook together.
So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.
Because he picked up the habit again since heā€™s the better cook between him and Donna.
And itā€™s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything thatā€™s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.
Itā€™s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.
He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if itā€™s an end of the world or theyā€™re near death and need immediate aid.
And thatā€™s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if youā€™re Dicks family you have to care or else. Heā€™ll love you and help you, when you need it but he wonā€™t tie his life up with yours, heā€™ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.
Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because theyā€™re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.
(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and canā€™t ask him how the fuck heā€™s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way theyā€™re teaching him no he canā€™t use the old method theyā€™re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donnaā€™s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)
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iraprince Ā· 3 days ago
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ALSO being on bluesky is reminding me i used to be on social media bc it was kind of fun. i used to be less scared of strangers and of talking to ppl. i have already rambled about this at length other times but i am thinking abt it again relative to necrotech99 and how excited i am abt it. it makes me wanna talk abt my stuff again.... (not TOO much bc i don't like unduly influencing quest suggestions/audience participation lol. like one thing i want to avoid from the tvrn era is it was really fun to answer so many behind-the-scenes questions, but i did end up eventually feeling like it created a situation where like... ppl who followed me on social media were having a rly different experience w the story, and had way more info, than ppl just following the thread, and i don't love cultivating/encouraging that kind of divide?)
anyway. thinking about that again. bc i used to talk abt tvrn all the time and promo it like crazy. and i even remember sometimes thinking to myself "damn where did i get all that energy bc lately promoing stuff/remembering to boost things online is such a drag and a chore and i hate it." and now that im on the necrotech grind im like oh yeah it was easy for me to remember to promo it bc i was.... genuinely promoing it... like i was genuinely eager to re-reblog stuff over and over and get more eyes on it bc i wanted really really badly for ppl to read and suggest!!!!! vs w work stuff a lot of times it's like. "[HEAVING A SIGH] i guess i should re-reblog stuff for Engagement and Visibility and Reach" in an abstract "maybe this will help me out jobwise? maybe someone will see my stuff and want to hire me, or find my itch and buy some games?" vs the DIRECT "i am hyping this up bc i want ppl to look at it now now NOW NOW NOW NOW :D NOW" that i feel when im rly into a quest
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serendipitous-imagines Ā· 1 day ago
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Can you do a Homicipher Mr Gap x transmasc reader smut fic? Maybe w him eating the reader out? Perhaps?
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cws/tws: female genitalia verbiage, oral, fingering, begging, edging
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omg,,, my first homicipher request!! i have been so in love with all of the characters in this game and it has been so fun playing through all of the routes! i do get easily jumpscared bc i am a coward but hey, fear and adrenaline adds to emotions I am pretty sure ;> as always~ the fun stuff is under the cut~
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Where were you again...? Oh, right, you were stuck down here, running around mindlessly, looking for an elevator that may or may not bring you back to your world... And everyone surrounding you was a creature that was almost beyond human comprehension. But... they were kind, kinder than anyone had ever really been to you, and they cared, they cared so much about you, about how you felt, about how your body ached and reacted. Sure, it could have been because they wanted to do experiments on you, maybe even take your arms, but it being cared for like this felt so nice. Honestly, it would be a waste to leave everyone down here. How would you even live life normally again after meeting everyone? A soft groan escaped your lips as you rolled over on the bed, flopping your head down into the pillow that had definitely been untouched for a while, but it was better than laying on the ground. You could not imagine how it felt for Mr. Chopped- where even was he? Where was anyone? The room suddenly felt far more cold and empty than it had before. Anxiety crept into your chest and in an attempt to comfort yourself, you pulled the white blanket up to your head, wanting to hide from the vast empty echoes of the labyrinth where you found yourself confined. ... Why did it feel like you were being watched...? Lifting the sheet up hesitantly, you tilted your head downwards, unknowingly holding your breath as you glanced down at your legs. Nothing... You set the sheet down and let out the breath you had been holding, looking around the room. You were just being paranoid because you were alone, there was nothing to worry about, you were sure Mr. Crawling would be around at any moment and you would feel better. Shaking your head, you lifted the sheets to lay back down and- "AHHHH!!!!" Your whole body jumped, a scream involuntarily coming out, legs pressing together as you made eye contact with Mr. Gap smiling up at you from under the covers. "When did you get here?!" you yelled, fingers trembling as you held the sheets up, eyes wide.
"I help..." Mr. Gap mumbled, a smile on his face, his visible eye upturned with small crinkles in the corners of them. "Is there a reason why you are smiling so hard?" you asked, a smile on your face, wondering what organ or part of your body he was going to ask to take. Mr. Gap tilted his head, not understanding your question, his smile still ever-so-prevalent. "Give?" he asked. "Me want have." Mr. Gap repeated, his voice a little more firm. You could feel his warm breath hitting the insides of your thighs, goosebumps appearing on your skin from the warmth in the cold room. "Want what?" you asked, thighs shifting to close from the embarrassment of Mr. Gap's head being so close to such intimate areas. "Want you." Strong hands wrapped themselves around the inside of your thighs, pinning them open despite your attempts to force them closed. "M-me?!" your voice squeaked in surprise as your pants were ripped clear off of your legs. Mr. Gap's face leaned forward, huffing your scent, his fingers digging deeper into the squishy flesh of your thighs. "Smell good. Smell like. Want. Want. Want." Mr. Gap repeated, massaging your thighs in his palms obsessively, his words melting into mere mumbles as his teeth caught the fabric of your underwear, ripping them off (though you were unsure if he ate them or dropped them onto the bed, they were destroyed anyways). "Mr. Gap..." a breathless mutter came from your lips as Mr. Gap's mouth wrapped around your pussy, his tongue frotting against your clit. Your hips lifted at the sensation, a small whine leaving your lips as Mr. Gap's tongue started to speed up, greedily lapping up the arousal that started to drip from your vagina. How did he even know how to do this? Your hand slid beneath the sheets, wrapping your fingers around his hair as his tongue buried itself inside of your pussy, rubbing against your insides, easily gliding around in your arousal. Mr. Gap let out a low groan, a noise you had never heard him make before as his hand slid up your thigh before hovering just below his chin. His lips wrapped themselves hungrily around your clit, sucking on the bundle of nerves as two of his fingers circled around your soaked and sensitive entrance. A moan of pure desperation and a need like none other you have felt before came from your agape mouth, tugging on Mr. Gap's long hair, which had started to become knotted between your fingers. Your gazes caught one another, and you could see and feel his smile get wider before he sunk his fingers without warning into you. Your eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, walls clenching around Mr. Gap's unforgiving fingers that slid deep inside like he was going to pull your internal organs out from you. Your hips rocked, riding his fingers as his tongue pressed against your clit, flicking up and down as he sucked. Those calloused fingers provided a much needed texture, curling inside of you and forcing your walls wider open. Hearing such beautiful mewls coming from you, and feeling your hips starting to tremble, closing in on your orgasm, Mr. Gap cruelly slid his slick-covered digits out of your pussy, rubbing your hole as you gasped and looked at him with eyes that could only be described as downright pathetic. In an action even more cruel, he pulled his mouth away from your swollen and throbbing clit. Your head lifted, your eyes wide in surprise as he rested his head on your thigh and just smiled at you, a taunting, cruel smile. "You know exactly what you are doing..." you whined out, rolling your hips towards his face. "Me funny." "No," you retorted back with a pout on your lips. Mr. Gap laughed, fingers still mindlessly rubbing your opening, which was now soaking the sheets beneath you. "Me funny. You cute." Mr. Gap looked up at your face, which was twinged pink before he pushed three of his fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out of your hole far rougher than he had before. At full force, your orgasm hit your body at full force, crying out Mr. Gap's name as your cum squirted into his mouth and he greedily swallowed it.
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FANDOMS ~ MASTERLIST ~ COMMISSIONS ~ REQUESTS
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madangel19 Ā· 2 days ago
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if you're still doing writing requests
anything fluffy about the fire ghouls maybe šŸ™šŸ¼ especially alpha or dew?
my day just got progressively worse haha so I need a pick me up
thank you so much šŸ’— have a lovely day/night wherever you are
- cupid ghoul but asking from anon bcs I'm NOT putting main on blast here haha >:) šŸ’—
I'm having a rough day as well after dealing with my car stuff. Hopefully some fluffy Dewdrop content will make it all better @cupid-ghoul :' )
Copia rushed through the halls, looking into any nearby room. He had been looking all over for Dewdrop, but he couldnā€™t find the sometimes elusive fire ghoul.
It had begun to snow outside and he wanted to check in on Dewdrop to see how he was doing, but he wasnā€™t in the ghoul den when he checked. The rest of the pack was outside enjoying the snow, but Dewdrop often did not go out when it was cold. The poor thing did not enjoy the cold that much.
ā€œWhere could that ghoul be?ā€ Copia murmured, crossing his arms as he thought of all the places Dewdrop could be. He had checked multiple sitting rooms where a fireplace was roaring but he wasnā€™t in those rooms. Most siblings asked for his help with getting a fire going so Copia just had to check all of those rooms. He would find Dewdrop sooner or later.Ā 
After checking several more rooms, Copia was about to give up before he noticed two siblings rushing out of a room, whispering amongst themselves.
ā€œDidnā€™t know he could do that. How does that not hurt?ā€ One questioned.
ā€œI donā€™t know. Good thing he took his clothes off. The smell would be awful,ā€ another said.Ā 
That was a hopeful sign.Ā 
Copia put on a smile when the siblings noticed him. They gasped and straightened themselves up, looking frightened for a moment before calming down.
ā€œGood morning, Papa. What brings you here?ā€ The first sibling asked.
ā€œAh, buongiorno. Good morning. Have you two seen Dewdrop anywhere?ā€ Copia replied.
ā€œHeā€™s in that room. Go take a look,ā€ the second sibling said, gesturing to the open door.Ā 
Copia could already see the glow of a fire from within. His search was quickly coming to an end.
ā€œGrazie. Thank you so much, my dears. Go get yourselves some hot chocolate or something nice and warm for helping me. Tell the siblings in the kitchen that Papa sent you,ā€ Copia chimed, chuckling when he saw the delight on both of their faces.Ā 
ā€œThank you, Papa!ā€ They exclaimed before rushing away together.Ā 
Copia nodded in approval before turning his attention back to the room. He stepped in and immediately saw the roaring fire in the giant fireplace. The room felt like an inferno, but Copia was unphased. If a fire was this big, it meant only one thing.Ā 
Copia stepped closer and spotted Dewdrop lying in the fireplace, completely at peace and napping away amongst the burning logs. He held a log to his chest, purring away while nuzzling it. His clothes were strewn about the room, safely away from the fire.
Copia had heard tales of fire ghouls just napping in an open fireplace and it was quite a sight to see. Most times, he found Dewdrop laying before the fire and he never flinched when an ember flew out and hit his skin.Ā Sometimes he was a bit too close to the fire for Copia's liking.
Dewdrop yawned loudly, inhaling embers and exhaling smoke as he opened his eyes, looking up at Copia tiredly.Ā 
ā€œMm, morninā€™, Papa,ā€ he murmured, his voice barely heard over the fire.Ā 
ā€œGood morning. Are you comfortable in there, Dewdrop?ā€ Copia asked, smiling as he sat in a nearby armchair.
The ghoul nodded, curling up like a cat in the flames. He looked so cozy in there.
ā€œCan you add some more logs, Papa? Itā€™s fuckinā€™ cold out there,ā€ Dewdrop said, his tail lazily thumping the floor.Ā 
ā€œOf course, ghoul. Are you making yourself nice and toasty for the others?ā€ Copia chuckled while gathering some logs and tossing them into the flames, making them bigger.Ā 
ā€œSure am. You want first dibs on cuddles?ā€ Dewdrop asked, making space in the fireplace for him.
ā€œAh, maybe later. You get your warm rest and Iā€™ll see you later.ā€
Dewdrop didnā€™t say anything else as he got comfortable with the new logs that hissed and sizzled around him. He was completely at peace in the fire and Copia was certain the rest of the pack would be all over him once they were done playing in the snow. Copia looked forward to joining that nice warm pile.
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lolashifts Ā· 13 hours ago
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SHIFTING ISN'T SPECIAL
please bare with me on this one bc it might be a bit longer than i expected (and excuse my very bad title-naming skills šŸ˜­)
in this essay i will try to put down in words exactly what i realised today as i started my first day into reprogramming my mind, something that iā€™m doing while following reya singhā€™s method. what is that?
shifting IS easy.
yes, i know everybody says it, but itā€™s the truth and iā€™m not telling you this as someone who shifts regularly to her drs, because i donā€™t (yet!). however, it did just click in my mind why people always say it and mean it. and i feel incredibly stupid for not understanding it waaay earlier than just now, 4 years into my journey.
now, let me walk you through the thought process behind this.
in reyaā€™s 4-day method for reprogramming your mind, she instructs to write a list of your beliefs and non-beliefs. this may sound really silly and kinda useless at first - believe me, i woke up this morning thinking ā€œwhat exactly am i supposed to do after that?ā€ - but thereā€™s a valid reason for it, which is to help you delete from your mind the idea that shifting is like a superpower thatā€™s simply not for everyone and very hard to reach, when that is not the case at all!
in my own beliefs list, iā€™ve written ā€œi am capable of shiftingā€ right in between ā€œi can speak englishā€, ā€œi can write and readā€ and ā€œi can eat --ā€ (and some other things like ā€œi canā€™t eat glutenā€, bc i have celiac disease, ā€œi can dreamā€, we all do! and ā€œi can lucid dreamā€). you see where iā€™m going with this? iā€™m putting shifting in the same category as things we all normally do, that we sometimes donā€™t even think about doing since theyā€™re such a natural activity. to this list i could add ā€œi can breatheā€, because we do it automatically, without even realising unless we focus on it. the same can be said for drinking or eating really, if youā€™re angry or thirsty you just go and get whatever pleases you the most and not dwell on it.
in the non-beliefs list, iā€™ve written obvious things like santa and the easter bunny (which isnā€™t common here in italy tbf but yeah) and sentences like ā€œi canā€™t swimā€, ā€œi canā€™t drawā€, ā€œi canā€™t eat strawberriesā€ and in between them also ā€œi donā€™t fear shiftingā€. here, the point is that all these listed beliefs are stuff i know for a fact to be false: i can swim perfectly, i am an artist and i love strawberries + iā€™m not allergic to them or anything. by placing shifting there, i'm stating that just like i KNOW i can swim or whatever, i also KNOW i'm not scared of shifting.
youā€™re literally gaslighting your subconscious mind into believing what is real for a fact and what isnā€™t.
after writing down this list, which can be done on paper just like on your preferred device, i reread everything twice explaining to myself why i chose these things and why they are beliefs or not. thatā€™s how i realised that shifting is easy. when people talk about it ā€œclickingā€ they werenā€™t lying!
shifting isnā€™t special, this is what the list thing tries to prove you. itā€™s not special because, just like breathing and eating and reading, we do it subconsciously everyday. take your own first language: you speak it naturally without having to doubt it, and if you know a second language well enough like i know english for instance (my mother-tongue is italian) then you can even start talking to yourself and think in that language without having to search up translations.
whatā€™s the difference with shifting then?
the difference is that shifting hasnā€™t been taught to us in the same way as a language has been, all throughout school. the same thing goes for reading and writing: we read and write naturally because weā€™ve been taught how to when we were young and itā€™s now engraved in our brains, just like with learning our first language, which is something we normally do thanks to our teachers, our families and the people around us, of course. this doesnā€™t happen with shifting in most cases, as we all know, which means itā€™s normal for it to take a bit to grasp as a concept and existing thing/activity. itā€™s natural, most of us human beings just donā€™t know about it, nor that weā€™re capable of doing it.
this is why i said itā€™s not special: just like breathing, everybody can do it (and so do you)!
going back to the non-beliefs list; i should also add that as a society we usually are taught what to believe in from a young age, and specifically what is believed to be a fantasy, a dream, or something real. as grown-ups, though, we have the right to believe in whatever we want, like shifting. as a realistic person, i understand that some people may have a hard time believing something as great as shifting could be true, because it genuinely doesnā€™t sound like it! so yes, this is also a factor that can and does make it harder for someone to trust their guts and expect to wake up somewhere thatā€™s only fictional here.
shifting clicks for everybody at different times, but i hope this post will help some of you here understand it better and know that what more experienced shifters say always has a meaning, you just need the time to properly reflect on it to get it!
when it clicked for me a few hours ago i felt a huge rush of adrenaline and happiness bc yes, i can actually shift. iā€™m just overcomplicating it for no reason and so many of you are doing the same!
itā€™s okay though, weā€™ll all get there <3
(psa: if you saw any grammar mistakes or anything NO YOU DIDN'T and also please don't mind if this rant doesn't sound logical, i tried my best to explain myself like i wanted to šŸ„²)
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quintessenceofdust88 Ā· 1 day ago
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ugh I'm frustrated bc my brain is thinking lots of thoughts about Lou's interview and Oliver's interview and tonight's ep and what it could all mean for Bucktommy on canon going forward, but
ugh
Idk if it's ADHD or anxiety over the EP (I hate that I still have those after 8.06 btw) or just cause I'm fucking tired from a veeeery tiring work day
But my thoughts are not coherent enough for me to put them into words, so forgive me if it sounds jumbled or weird, but
All I can coherently put into words is that I love Lou for how much care he puts into Tommy's storyline and backstory, and as an actress I gotta say only the most professional ones give it this much thought
But I don't think the interview will mean anything towards canon, either good or bad (for what it's worth I don't think he was bad-mouthing the show when he said he wasn't satisfied with the ending. Like, ofc he wasn't, from Tommy's POV it was very unsatisfying and he was directly asked)
And I can see why everyone's pissed at Tim, so am I, but not only over his treatment of Lou; rather his careless treatment of the show as a whole, because this 'only telling people stuff the day before/the day of' is not new and is not Lou-exclusive. So yeah, idk, I can't tell if this made me put on my clown makeup or take it off
Sorry I told you guys it was jumbled
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ichistrash Ā· 3 days ago
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wip of mermaid mafuyu and starboy tsukasa lol
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I rly hate posting full body wips like this bc i cant get anatomy right if I don't draw all the slight muscles and crease of the skin and shit, and it makes them look NAKED but i swearrrr I'm just doing it to not make the anatomy look like shit. I've got too much perv accusations thrown when I show off my full body wips of stuff lol Anyway, this feels almost blasphemous to their characters? Though i love Mafuyu and Tsukasa, I don't rly know em like that, you know? I'm not committed to pjsk like I am w Shining/Love Nikki (never no.6 above superficial appearance changing aus, i am not worthy) so whenever I make up aus of characters/ships that are based off of their stories/personality/situation, I feel like a horrible, deplorable fraud. Mainly cause I cannot STAND it when ppl misinterpret/misunderstand the characters I love and their stories, or when they write shit half-hardheartedly, not even looking into wikis or doing simple deep dives. So the thought of doing it to others actually terrify me to my core LMAO. But i rly had a strong view of this au in my head, and i just drew it out. and i really like it! Idk, it looks a lot more boring than what i see in my head, but I'm just bad at perspective and foreshortening, plus, they got not no flowy clothes to dramatize the scene, nor actual scene composition, so yuh lol. Anyway, this will probably remain a wip for the foreseeable future, as i am DEEPLY disturbed by the thought of creating this fully only to realize later on that 'oh my god, this dynamic is ALL WRONG'. its a cute drawing tho!
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thestarseclectic Ā· 2 days ago
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oh man i hope you dont mind if i like... yap about this too. im no artist but there's some tropes i really fucking love & this lives rent free in my head. gonna focus on soul since this is my kin blog & u covered my favorite heart & mind art tropes!
i LOVE when people use star themes & motifs for soul, its the unstated yet universally agreed concept & its so fucking great. art that has him with horns is so great especially when its 3 horns that look like a trident it makes me ascend !! i am the #1 for designs where he's fully dark on one half of his body. dont think i've seen this (plz if anyone knows where i can find any of this point me in the right direction) but art playing with an earth/land motif would be so cool cause... atlas yk ! also like stuff where it looks like he's wearing some kind of marionette/theater mask. thats so good. incorporating purple & blue for h&m is such a great detail. huge shout out to @ lovelyshiz bc their soul design is the most amazing thing on this earth for me & i love how he adds a halo that can literally choke him in response to being stressed & whatnot. & ofc any soul art w his trident is fabulous too. I LOVE SOUL ART. i think abt this all the time. thanks for coming to my ted talk i love the artists in this fandom you all give me so much life
HIHIHI!!!! iā€™ve been seeing that youā€™re accepting asks now and itā€™s been such a joy to read them and know this entity (you :]šŸ‘‹) of daily awesome art better. as a bystander who follows you. your work is so neat and i will never hush up about itā€¼ļøā€¼ļø
as for my askā€¦.hmmmmmā€¦..whatā€™s your favorite likeā€¦aspect of either an element you included in ur personal hms designs, or one youā€™ve seen in othersā€™? it can be themes, color palettes, psychology, demeanor, metaphorsā€”anything! examples include celestial theming, how a character thinks/a struggle theyā€™re dealing with, or parts of their design that mean something literally or metaphorically. objective observations??
iā€™m really inspired by how creative the cj fandom is. no design is superior over another ofc, as how people interpret the characters reflect what they like and see the fellas as. interpretation is an art form! wow. writing that makes me realize that chonnyā€™s fandom came from him interpreting music into his own thing (and ergo hms narrative), and then the fans interpret that narrative into their own thing. the loop never ends šŸ˜”šŸ’€/silly
FIRST AND FOREMOST, THANK YOU ^_^ !!! i agree also, the fandom never fails to inspire me, everyone in it is so crazy talented and makes me even MORE insane about the stupid guys from my songs,,
NOW favourite aspects,, there are a lot of things i love seeing on different hmsw designs but one thing i will always be insane for is when people make them look distinctly inhuman,, i will forever preach about robot/android mind or creature animal heart or whatever the fuck soul is (empty vessel?) because whatever they are they're NOT humans!!! not entirely!! and i love when people write this into their behaviour too! making mind stiff and speak more robotically while heart is always fidgeting and jittery and he has claws and these massive uncontrollable wings.. auaygauaghj
another thing is when people include aspects/colors from the others into their designs,,,.... for example heart with red accents or mind with purple accents and so on..,, or better yet when people include orange in their designs AUGH. it's so good
CELESTIAL THEMING IS ALWAYS BANGER of course heart and mind as the moon and sun is absolutely perfect, but i also like when people throw other planets into the mix?? and i love soul as the stars, it fits him well, but i'm personally subscribed to the headcanon of soul as the sky,, which holds the sun and moon,,,,
something i do personally is to always break up their faces, if that makes sense? with heart's blindfold, mind's screen and soul's shadow/clouds ...,, the face is something that makes your brain recognize what you're seeing as a fellow human, but as previously stated, i love when there's something Wrong with them, so maybe their faces being broken up makes them look much less human...,, hehehe
there are countless things that i love to see on these character designs and if i wanted to rattle them all off we'd be here forever. but i'm just saying, i haven't seen a single design that i haven't liked!!!!! i'm talking a lot about visual details here because once i get started on their psychology i never shut up and i don't want this post to be too long HJAHAHHA but yeah!! cheers!
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bobmckenzie Ā· 8 months ago
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women selfshippers who aren't stereotypically feminine, whether in physical features or personality or anything, your f/o loves you just the way you are šŸ’š you are their ideal woman ! :)
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fumifooms Ā· 6 months ago
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Falin who cares too much and too little - analysis
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Been stewing on Falin thoughts for a while, I know I have an interpetation on her that differs from many but Iā€™m jumping into the fray. I think thereā€™s a lot to be said about what we do see of Falin. This shorter Falin analysis I made is heavily encouraged prior reading. This analysis mainly explores her complex relationship with caring and so itā€™s sort of structured in two halves, with Faligon at the crux of it all.
Falin cares too little :
A lot of people assign Falin a people pleasing mindset and Iā€¦ Donā€™t agree. We never see her care at all about people in her town or at the academy not liking her.
We do see her worrying about what people think of herā€¦ ONCE. And Laios comforted her, told her they didnā€™t matter and she should be proud of herself. She latched onto that hard. Thatā€™s why this scene was so important to be included during the dragon fight, relationship-defining; itā€™s always been them against the world. She grew to not care what others thought, to only focus on her close loved ones. No one else matters.
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Laiosā€™ words were her world. Her older brother who taught her how to feel comfortable with herself, who told her, youā€™re great, others are the ones in the wrong to not see that, Iā€™ll always be with you, always be there for you. Older brother who always made great plans, who always knew more, who was better at wrestling to name the dogs, who she has always idolized. Laios who always spoke of traveling the world, to which she always said she wanted to follow. And she would, sheā€™d follow him even if it meant leaving the academy and all she knew behind, sheā€™d follow him to the ends of the world, and thatā€™s what she did.
She didnā€™t care about showing to her classes or keeping up such appearances, she doesnā€™t even think of toning down her jumping into bushes when Marcille recoils, etc. She acts like an obedient pawn often, to her parentā€™s directives and then following Laios around no matter what he decides to do, but I donā€™t think the motivation is people pleasing, rather itā€™s being with & caring for her loved ones, and her go-with-the-flow attitude enhances the impression. Not that itā€™s as simple as that, mind you, but letā€™s talk about this for now.
Falin is perceived as selfless because we, the audience, have our perspectives revolving around the main people in her life (Laios, Marcille). Theyā€™re the ones sheā€™s devoted to and people who care about her back a lot too, but to people like her classmates or the towspeople she probably must have seemed like someone who didnā€™t care about the people around her or her surroundings a lot, who just went on alone and did her own thing.
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What matters to Falin? From what place does her kindness come from? Is a part of her keeping up appearances? And I think thatā€™s the point, the horror of Faligon as well, that we canā€™t tell just how in control Falin the person is as the chimera (because we are shown that sheā€™s in there, we just donā€™t know at what degree), that we donā€™t know her enough to be able to tell when sheā€™s at her most genuine, her most raw. That even if you do settle on none of her being present as Faligon, we have to at least consider it, consider that she may be able to do something like this and have a part in it, brutal and uncaring. That even the lenses we see her through, the people who love her, may be unreliable.
And this is whatā€™s very interesting about her too, she truly is so idealized by people around her as a saint. Sheā€™s so good and kind and caring to everyone etc etc etc. Laios, Toshiro and Marcille all see her as the paragon of goodness in the world. More cynical characters like Namari and Chilchuck have more layered opinions on her, the latter finding her somewhat unnerving because he canā€™t read her well. But then with that one flashback scene we see thatā€¦ Her priorities are intensely focused on Laios and Marcille, she doesnā€™t care all that deeply about anyone other than them (+ maybe her parents). The rest of the party is in the same danger here but only Laios and Marcille who sheā€™s speaking to get the special ,ention, and if they donā€™t cross her mind then of course sheā€™d be ready to sacrifice strangers through a risky teleportation. That doesnā€™t make her not kind or caring!! Just that greater good isnā€™t exactly her priority. Any means is alright if the end result is her loved ones safe, it usually takes the form of healing and caring, but we see sheā€™s ready to fight and make dangerous calls too. To me thereā€™s this aspect to her that she isnā€™t as pure and magnanimous as everyone thinks she is, both in-world and interestingly enough meta wise as well, and thereā€™s something interesting to that.
People pleasing implies a need to be liked, needs for the motivation to be that. A yes-man, etc. But if we analyze Falin, her general kind, smiling demeanor is more a matter of passivity I yhonk. Conflict avoidance is easier, so sheā€™s friendly and hopefully thingsā€™ll be smooth sailing. Itā€™s easy to be kind to classmates even if they act wary and rude if you donā€™t care about what they think either way. Of course she prefers good things happening to people over bad things, she is genuinely kind, but I think people tend to assign her a very grand altruistic way of life when to her the motivation is pretty self-centered. She doesnā€™t do what she does because she lovesĀ them, but becauseĀ sheĀ loves them.
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One situation thatā€™s interesting to dig into for her way of thinking, and what Iā€™m trying to get at, is Shuroā€™s proposal to her. Iā€™ve seen people saying she hesitated because she didnā€™t feel comfortable saying no even though she wanted to, "I canā€™t say no, I donā€™t want to hurt him", something that sounds sensible and familiar, but itā€™s actually canon in the Adventurerā€™s Bible that the reverse was the case, that she didnā€™t feel comfortable saying yes. Because the offer was tempting, but itā€™d have been a loveless agreement on her end. And it makes sense sheā€™d want to say yes too, like we see with the Toudens, marriage is very much a political strategical economical thing in their village, thereā€™s even a bit on it on Laiosā€™ Adventurerā€™s Bible profile about dowries, and both siblings were engaged very early. They lived poorly for a long time, itā€™s an enticing idea to marry rich, to have not only yours but your brotherā€™s needs met forevermore easily, which at one point in their careers was their main worry and goal. Why shouldnā€™t she accept a life of leisure and wealth handed to her by a lovely friend?
So her hesitance was "yeah thatā€™s convenient for me, but where itā€™s everything to him and heartfelt Iā€™m able to be detached because I donā€™t care about it that muchā€¦ Can I do that? Iā€™m not reciprocating, not saying yes in the way that matters. Can I do that to him?" Very caring even though itā€™s not what youā€™d expect, isnā€™t it?
And central to my analysis, where Iā€™m going with this is, I feel like thatā€™s the thing with her character, that she doesnā€™t feel as strongly as she "should" sometimes, or feels a different way than she "should", or at least that she feels that way and others say she does. She didnā€™t mind suddenly leaving the academy, leaving Marcille behind and not seeing her for 4 years. She acted like it was no big deal that she sacrificed herself after getting resurrected after the red dragon fight. And in both those cases it upset the people around her greatly that she didnā€™t seem to get why it was such a big deal, didnā€™t seem to care about how theyā€™d experienced her choices.
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So itā€™s a tendencyā€¦ And itā€™s not that she doesnā€™t care, itā€™s just that the way she measures whatā€™s good for the ones she loves isnā€™t the same as what they themselves think it is (like Laios and Marcille not wanting to be apart from her). Itā€™s an overt but quiet kind of care, itā€™s doing things like following them around and making sure they bathe and have a meal, even if that means she has to be dragged into misery too.
So yes she probably would know "not caring enough/the right way" is one of her perceived flaws, and that informs how she tries to handle her response to Shuroā€™s proposal. Her not wanting to accept like her first gut instinct, is because sheā€™s thinking about reciprocity, about if itā€™d be right to go into this knowing that they have different priorities and she might not be able to keep up with the type and amount of emotions he wants/expects from her. And thatā€™s a big part of her character isnā€™t it, having expectations pushed onto her. Her trying her best, but in her own way that may seem odd or even unfeeling. Not unlike when she exorcised the ghost as a kid too, unblinking and matter-of-factly, and not seeming to understand why people stared the way they did.
Even though she answered his proposal only post-canon, sheā€™d been pondering it for a while even pre-canon and the Adventurerā€™s Bible explanation was released midstory, so Iā€™m hesitant to assign her much growth about her hesitation and what I went on above, since she still didnā€™t react "right" with Laios after the red dragon fight (even if she apparently doesnā€™t remember sacrificing herself) and put herself in that situation in the first place. She hasnā€™t finished her arc on that flaw of hers is what Iā€™m saying, she for sure still has it, but I certainly think her thoughts on Shuroā€™s proposal shows awareness, both of herself and social.
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And awareness is a big analysis key word with Falin, especially here it can be hard not to conflate not caring with not knowing. How socially aware is she? Itā€™s rather layered, because canonically she wasnā€™t aware of her ostracization in her hometown at all, and weā€™re not sure if she knew Shuro was interested in her before he proposed, but she generally seems more socially aware than Laios. She tags along on his caravan job to make sure he isnā€™t being mistreated (though doesnā€™t ask he get a salary), she catches social faux-pas more easily like in the genderbend magic mirror omake with Shuro, and interestingly enough sheā€™s very good at empathizing with her parents and understanding their perspective. We see when sheā€™s worried about Marcille coming that she does know about propriety and how appearances shape impressions. Being a chiefā€™s daughter must at least have taught her a thing or two on that front.
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She never stands up for herself, but when it comes to defending others she worries, strategizes and explains.
And this sort of understanding is part of why I think sheā€™d notice the expectations pushed onto her like I was saying earlier, notice how she makes people feel when sheā€™s careless. But if she changes anything about herself in response to noticing is for her to choose, and generally I think itā€™s a sort of inbetween of yes and no: that she becomes more complacent but also more reserved, complying but by hiding more of herself passively. Sheā€™s not sure wether to accept or reject Shuroā€™s proposal, doesnā€™t want to lead him on? Sheā€™ll just be taking a while to silently consider it, try to keep things as they are for the time being. The third, less conflicting option. She doesnā€™t feel heard by Marcille who keeps infantilizing her? Just bear with it. Retract yourself emotionally. Settle for it.
We see that when she was young she had a tendency to not read a room, and I think thatā€™s here too. She doesnā€™t get why her nonchalance upset others but that doesnā€™t change that she doesnā€™t want them upset or hurt, so she tries, albeit in maybe a roundabout way. She always had a hard time deeply connecting with people, often keeping herself some amount of emotionally distant: erasing herself from the equation, from the two-way trade that relationships are and making it a onesided thing instead, where all their needs and emotions are directed towards her but she only lets out a bit of her own show. She takes everything upon her and deals with it and tries not to give others this same burden, though not on a conscious level, itā€™s just that sheā€™s learned growing up that she doesnā€™t have much agency.
Like I went into with my analysis linked at the beginning, I think Falin is used to just taking what she can get and not asking for more, when it comes to social bonds. Sheā€™ll take spending time with her mother no matter what it is they do, sheā€™ll follow Laios to the graveyards and stick by him even when heā€™s pushing her away (because he doesnā€™t want her borrowing his book or "No copying!" or such). Her father was always distant, cold and uncommunicative, her mother was considered sick from anxiety and the exorcism attempts were the main way they spent time together, at dinner tables there were only her and Laios. The dogs picked on her too even if she loved themā€” And so did the townspeople, maybe that being normal to her at home is why she didnā€™t notice the ostracization she suffered.
Sheā€™s always been the last to be asked about decisions or what she wants, never asked to play with at recess, neither her father or Laios asked before sending her to the academy or leaving the village. At home, in the hierarchy she was considered to be below the dogs by the dogs themselves, as someone they can disrespect. Dogs learn from example and behavior, so this means Falin must have been pushed around a lot, and that the family didnā€™t try hard to rectify the dogsā€™ misconception, likely worsened by Laios regularly wrestling with her as a competition.
So for example when Falin showed Marcille food, it was her way to implicitly ask to have lunch with her without voicing that question, without daring to take up space. Someoneā€™s presence isnā€™t something you ask for, itā€™s something thatā€™s bestowed upon you, you can follow them around but you canā€™t ask them to stay or to come with.
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Sheā€™s used to her needs and wants not being listened to, so sheā€™s learned to have less wants. Caring less about herself, caring less about other people beyond her safe zone, was a defense mechanism in part. She has a sense of learned helplessness too, like how when Marcille came to take her away from Laios, even though she didnā€™t want to leave with Marcille it felt so determined and unshakable to her that whatever Marcille decided Falin would have to comply with.
And still, itā€™s the "marrying you would be awfully convenient if it wasnā€™t that Iā€™d feel guilty for not loving you back, the way you wanted me to when you proposed to me" and the "I donā€™t regret leaving the academy and leaving you behind without goodbyes but Iā€™m sorry that youā€™re so much more upset about it than me". Itā€™s the guilt of not loving people back the way they want to be, with the same intensity or fervor.
Itā€™s the autism itā€™s the aroace of it all, itā€™s the emotional stunting and confusion but the pit in your stomach telling you you did something wrong again. The no object permanence even for people you love even for 4 years, itā€™s the feeling like youā€™re somehow at fault for someone having fallen for you and not knowing what to do with any of it. Iā€™m not joking btw it isnā€™t uncommon for autistic people to not see their close friends for a long while, not having missed them all that much and for that to be really hurtful for the other if they notice/ask about it. "Hiii bestie! Oh umm youā€™re uh more emotional about this than I expected, hopefully you wonā€™t feel alienated by me not feeling as intensely about itā€¦"
Soā€¦ Yeah. I think she thinks of things and relationships in a different way than most people, and beyond "good things happening to people is good" I donā€™t think she actually cares about people all that much. Iā€™d argue that Laios shows more desire to connect with others and make relationships. And just like with Laios and his own issues with humans, that doesnā€™t mean her kindness is a lie or ungenuine or worthless! It just means that like, well itā€™s pretty straightforward really, sheā€™s not all that social and doesnā€™t see casual bonds as meaning all that much and whatnot. She does want to see people happy, but itā€™s not as much likeā€¦ A conviction or goal. Sheā€™s too laser focused on a select few people. "Itā€™s not that theyā€™re bad people, they just arenā€™t interested in humans."
And sometimes it feels like people get defensive about Falin in a meta way too, like if you ever so much as imply Marcille isnā€™t her whole world or that she isnā€™t the kindest soul out there then youā€™re saying she doesnā€™t care at all or sheā€™s evil. And thatā€™s actualy exactly the sort of vibe I wanted to get through with my analysis above here actually haha, that she does care and she is kind but itā€™s not in a way thatā€™s quantified or understood in a way that makes people feel comfortable. In a way, that makes people feel insecure because they donā€™t have the same logic as her, donā€™t show love the same. And I think this is another stellar depiction of autism, of parts of it that feels unpalatable to many, if Iā€™m making sense. The fandom idealizes her as well, which isnā€™t uncommon or surprising for the character embodying the trope of the perfect beloved to rescue.
And disclaimer, as I said in the tags I feel like the details of Falin are pretty vibe based when it comes to analysis, thereā€™s absolutely a valid angle where she does super care about everyone always, feel free to disagree with me on the overarching angle of my analysis. Thereā€™s enough supporting evidence to tip the balance either way I think, and the reason Iā€™ve chosen this angle is I feel itā€™s more compelling for the themes in Dunmeshi of idealization and being different, of desires vs wants, and because I think it neatly ties up Falinā€™s character arc as Iā€™ll go over throughout the next sectionā€¦
So.
Not feeling as much as she should. Andā€¦ā€¦. Is this not Faligon pushed to the max?
You canā€™t tie down a dragon. As the chimera, she gets to just not care about everyone else and be on her merry way.
Part of it I think is finding comfort and freedom in the mindlessness, in not having the burden of feelings and connections and a consciousness (despite still ending up seeking those in a stranger, Thistle). Like when sheā€™s dead in the purgatory as well, she gets to justā€¦ Hang around and do whatever. Similarly to when she played in the forest instead of going to class in her academy days. Thatā€™s what freedom and peace of mind looks like to her. Why she decides to roam post-canon, if only now with the goal to find herself instead, with her mind in tow and somewhere to go back home to.
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Thereā€™s excellent analytic framing out there about how of course, Dungeon Meshi has a big theme of grief and letting go, andā€¦ Falin was always a symbol narratively, idealized by characters and often underconsidered by them despite their love. It was Falinā€™s choice to sacrifice herself for Laios, she thought it was worth it, knowing that it would be her end. Her resurrection and the process of it intertwining her soul with a dragonā€™s wasnā€™t done with her consent, and the subsequent opening it gave her to become a chimera puppet. Sheā€™s stripped of her agency consistently, and soā€¦ Itā€™s very noteworthy that the final choice, of wether to go back to life or to stay dead, in that purgatory scene, was up to her. And she chooses life, but I do think about her in those fields and how at home she seemed there. Peaceful, by herself in a vast calm expanse she could explore, free.
Personally, I think freedom is Falinā€™s own subconscious selfish desire. And though to us becoming the chimera is obviously a shackle, I think it felt like freedom to her somewhat, too.
And if you think Iā€™m going wildly off the rails here I want to talk about Laiosā€™ wish of becoming a monster. And to be clear before getting into it, being mentally a monster is absolutely a big part of the appeal for Laios, itā€™s something thatā€™s consistently referred to, something especially pointed out in the werewolf monster tidbit with Lycion. Right panel is from that, but left panel is from the extra with Izutsumi where Lycion talks about suppressing souls in a beastkin body, the human or the beast soul.
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Finding comfort and freedom in being mindless, less sentient, less aware? While being unaware in her hometown might have saved Falin a lot of heartache although perhaps stunted her emotional growth, itā€™s always been Laiosā€™ curse.
Actively, through his choices, he seeks to grow closer to people, to form deeper bonds, to understand and be undertood, butā€¦ On a deep seated level, what he desires is to leave humanity and civilization behind. He has an irrational hatred for humans, born from the trauma of ostracization, being different, being beaten up and rejected consistently through his life. Running away from problems is easier. He wants to be free from being a social animal from a social species who has deemed him the black sheep, he thinks itā€™d be simpler to just leave it all behind, people and his own humanity. At its core, to Laios becoming a monster is a power fantasy, a coping daydream of "if only I could be strong enough to never be hurt again, the power to destroy anything I want, the power to go somewhere better, if only it was possible for me to never feel hurt again. If only I could be someone, something, that can never be hurt". "If thereā€™s someone you donā€™t like, you can gobble ā€˜em up in one bite. If you could fly, youā€™d be able to leave this village right now." Itā€™s a childhood fantasy, from a deep sense of being misplaced and a desire to be able to stand fearless, thinly covering up resentment that Laios represses.
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But youā€™ll notice, when the Winged Lion is enticing him in the last page, even now with his lifelong wish of becoming a monster on a silver plate, he still cares about his friends. He still has that sense of responsibility to his friends, doesnā€™t want to leave knowing theyā€™ll be in danger and alone. The offer that his friends may be left unharmed is already good, but Laios also visibly flinches when the Winged Lion offers to specifically care after Marcille and rid her of her biggest fear. Laiosā€™ care runs that deep. Not unlike with the succubus, he resists temptation until he gets reassured that everyone will be okay. But see, what he desires isnā€™t to stand alongside Marcille until her last days, it isnā€™t to stay and see how well his friends will live, itā€™s to go. Itā€™s to leave. Itā€™s to fly away, a monster both in body and mind. He wants to be free from caring here, wants to not have to worry about his friends, wants to just go do his own thing, but for that he needs to feel safe in the belief that said friends will be safe even without him being there to see it, because despite everything else he cares, he does. Itā€™s again that dichotomy about caring and wishing you didnā€™t, or not caring and wishing you did.
In the end, itā€™s Falin who achieves that wish. Both by becoming a chimera during canon, and by going traveling post-canon. In the latter, being both free of human relationships as something chaining you while still being uplifted by them, by the knowledge that there are people out there you love and that love you. Itā€™s a theme that can also be connected with Marcille, because she gets anxious over people she loves getting out of her sight, worrying theyā€™ll get themselves killed, that time is passing while theyā€™re away from her. But before she can get to the point where she can both have her freedom and being uplifted by her social bonds, regaining both her individuality and her connections, she has to get a taste of just one at a time. Before they can find balance in her life, she has to see what itā€™s like to have what sheā€™s never had on its own. Unapologetic freedom, and power.
No one can blame you for not caring enough or caring right if youā€™re a fricking dragon!!!! You make the rules when youā€™re a beast and you can justā€¦ Fly away. From anywhere, from anything. And if a dog bites you you can just crush it. Instead of being pushed around by the dogs because youā€™re at the bottom of the hierarchy, youā€™re now at the top, the one with the power to be heard and do what you want without consequences.
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I think sheā€™s on autopilot. I think sheā€™s on autopilot a lot of the time, even before being a chimera, and itā€™s partly why her will is so weak compared to regular dragons. (Again, read my shorter analysis.) Itā€™s familiar to slip back into the role of following someone around unquestioningly. And thatā€™s what is weaponized when sheā€™s a chimera, that instinct sheā€™s been nursing all her life to unconditionally support, defend and follow someone. Only now, that someone doesnā€™t matter in itself, only the symbol of it. She doesnā€™t mind, either way is fine. Her will is weak after all, because sheā€™s trained it to take as little place as it could.
Falin cares too much
She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life.
So youā€™re probably seeing the duality Iā€™m talking about here, Falin is very self-sacrificial but for specific people in ways that they often donā€™t recognize or appreciate. She cares but selectively, both in people, putting all her eggs in the same baskets, and in the ways she cares after them. She doesnā€™t care a lot, but when she does she cares a lot. Falin doesn't have a lot of earthly attachments, but when she does, they're her world.
In canon her arc, especially post-canon, is to grow beyond Marcille and Laios. Her caring for her close loved ones held her back from looking after her own self-fulfillment needs. And this is what I mean when I say she cares too much; she could gain from caring more about the world besides Laios and Marcille, both lands wise and people wise. She cares too little, but her arc centers her flaw around caring too much instead. Her pitfalls that Kui highlight over the course of the story, while of course her selflessness is appreciated for how she saved Laios and everyone, on a personal level is shown to be self-effacing and damaging. Sheā€™s undermined by Marcille, without the courage to voice her thoughts and wants, she would dedicate her whole life to Laios. And I mean, itā€™s text, in the response to Shuroā€™s proposal extra no less. And sheā€™s so laser focused on her most loved people that sheā€™s fine with being callous and risking othersā€™ lives, even.
Post-canon, she needs to leave to find herself, away from them.
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Herself. What if she wants to just be with herself for a while.
And this is me reaching but I feel like, not unlike Izutsumi who learns to feel this sense of never being alone, always having someone on your side what with having two souls, the dragon in her would make her consider herself more. She finds it easier to care after other people after all, and in the purgatory fields sequence she takes care to bring the bit of dragon left with herā€¦ Not unlike with Izutsumi, having two souls forces you to think about your identity and figure yourself out. Besides being this sort of duo now, where if she wants to care after herself she can channel it to that other side of her tooā€¦ In meta dragons are symbols of greed, and I think the bit of dragon would push her to want more and listen more to her desires, primal and self-serving as they might be. The dragon soul which warped her human body with feathers and draconic features, her image of perfection marred, her weirdness externalized in a way thatā€™s not palatable. But she doesnā€™t care, about if her appearance is palatable for most people, she hasnā€™t for a while now, and thatā€™s great.
Notes & nuance
Iā€™m struggling with the structure of this post, making my points organized, concise and strong at once. Itā€™s difficult to make any statement without going "things are generally like this, but thereā€™s this time that this contradicting thing happened too" or "itā€™s ambiguous enough that you should just follow my interpretation for the time of this analysis" haha, so this is the pit where I put all the stuff that wouldnā€™t fit well in other places but are interesting for Falinā€™s character. This section is pretty separate from the main thesis of the post, itā€™s just more Falin observations. The post has reached the 30 pics limit so I canā€™t just pull it up whenever itā€™s relevant but I really encourage scrolling up to read the stuff I highlighted in her Adventurerā€™s Bible profile if you havenā€™t already.
I think with the shy-looking loner type autistic kid archetype, and knowing she didnā€™t seem to mind others ostracizing her, itā€™s easy to lose sight of how she was by no means an unemotional child. In all the bits we see of her as a kid sheā€™s bursting with energy and emotions. Canon confirms Laios leaving the village did affect her and make her lonely and she cried a lot, too. She may not be social in the traditional sense, but she was clingy with her brother, and she also never was all that shy about who she was, wearing her heart on her sleeve.And okay. Okay okay okay. Speaking of appearances. About what I said of her not caring about what people think of her, even seeming defiant with the caravan leaderā€¦ Thereā€™s one istanxe of her caring actually, and itā€™s about how her face blushes easily. I remembered it as being because Laiosā€™ said it and as I rambled Laiosā€™ words are her world, but actually itā€™s ambiguous. Itā€™s only Marcille imagining up this scenario where Laios says Falin looks weird because of it, thereā€™s no evidence Laios said or thought that at any point. And on the other handā€¦
Her Adventurerā€™s Bible says: "5, Lovely Skin. She isn't particularly careful with it, but Falin's skin is fair and beautiful. Possibly as a result, her cheeks seem to flush easily. Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." The phrasing makes me think the complex she has over her blushing might have developed because of Marcille more than Laios. "Marcille's always saying she's cute, and she secretly has a sizable complex about it." It could be related to how Marcille gets swept away and infantilizes her, calling her cute wanting her to wear cute feminine outfits etc. Again this feels like it relates to Falinā€™s struggle to be seen for who she is and what she wants to be seen as, her struggle to be recognized, having ideals and perspectives pushed onto her. Here Falin is insecure over her blushing implicitly because she doesnā€™t like being called cute over it, but thatā€™s not how she wants people to see her. She doesnā€™t want Marcille to always see her as her 10 years old adorable friend. Like if your friend said you had puppy energy, it can be flattering, but it can also make you insecure.
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Hereā€™s a link to what I mentioned about her being uncomfortable wearing feminine outfits. It does seem to be more about comfort than the aesthetic perse, to me. Interestingly the shirt & shorts donā€™t seem like they show much more skin than her beach outfit, so maybe itā€™s more about the shirt and shorts being tight-fitting. Like the skirts and heels they feel stifling. Again a bit with themes of freedom and not wanting an aesthetic pushed onto her. So yes just to reiterate, I think this is more about self-affirmation and how her identity and self-image gets shown to others, rather than wishing to hide parts of her body like her blushing etc for people pleasing reasons. Makeup was a way for her to appear how she wants to and feel more confident. It was a way to take control over her own image. She didnā€™t keep doing it, the narrator stating the process to be ā€˜troublesomeā€™. Ultimately she still prioritizes her comfort, and it was a lot of recurring efforts to go through.
And on the topic of appearancesā€¦ A friend once asked me: "Does she really hide herself or not? I keep thinking about "falin is herself first and foremost" (in her Adventurerā€™s Bible profile) itā€™s just so. Hmmmmmmmm... I just keep seeing people say she hides her real self from people when I feel like the issue is more about her charitable traits straying too far into becoming flaws but people around her dont realize that..."
Imo the thing is, I donā€™t think she hides her identity, but I do think she suppresses her individuality for othersā€™ sakes if that makes sense. In the way that only post-canon does she allows herself to go see what the world is like, but thatā€™s not personality wise itā€™s needs and wants wise. And I do feel like thatā€™s the closest interpretation of canon, she says it herself she doesnā€™t know what she wants because everything sheā€™s done was always about Laios or Marcille, but she doesnā€™t change her demeanor or personality for others. But she *will*, like, not ask for things she wants directly, like sharing lunches with Marcille at the academy, she suppresses her wants, doesnā€™t ask things from people and doesnā€™t hope for more, hope for better. I donā€™t think we ever see her actively repress her personality, except like what, being more laidback than enthusiastic but I do feel like unlike Laios with her itā€™s less ā€˜appearing stoic to fit in moreā€™ and more ā€˜yeah iā€™ll just chill until Iā€™m needed or something activates my enthusiasmā€™. To which said friend quoted: "to feel like you belong you need to be useful. when you canā€™t be useful the next best thing is being convenient."
And speaking of passivityā€¦ I want to speculate about Shuroā€™s proposal some more. Shuro and her got along well though we donā€™t know how much, or how often they hung out, she even saved him from a nightmare. Why did she take so long answering Shuroā€™s proposal? Was it an effort to preserve or was she really just that conflicted? Procrastination probably yes, but what is the core motivation of itl Considering she ended up saying no to travel the world instead, I donā€™t think it was as simple as ā€˜she wanted to say yes for convenienceā€™. Logically itā€™s what would have been best, but itā€™s not what she wanted for herself, but it was and still is hard for her to even know what she wants. Probably, since like she states it was a great offer and she doesnā€™t think sheā€™ll get proposed to again, itā€™s that self-effacing tendency that yes itā€™d be convenient and logical, and that makes her want to say yes even if her spirit isnā€™t in it, because if itā€™s convenient then thatā€™s more important than her feelings on the matter. Man alsoā€¦ Obviously Marcille is very vocal about how she shouldnā€™t get with Shuro, but imagine how Falinā€™s whole perspective on marriage must have felt when her only friend ever is a Romantic with a capital R who gushes about idealized romances and grand gestures and True Love and doing things with fully pure feelings all the time.
AND speaking of passivity!!! How much Falin is "there" as the chimera, just how much sheā€™s master of her actions, is left ambiguous and intentionally so imo, but sheā€™s for sure there & influencing the dragonā€™s action to some degree. Having a dragonā€™s foot on her in purgatory that keeps her from moving for sure visualizes how it must have been like, but thereā€™s Falin calling out to her brother Laios, thereā€™s the kind attentions towards Thistle that are so Falin-like, and most explicitly thereā€™s the Adventurerā€™s Bible stating "Even after becoming a chimera, she has a soul that's as kind as ever", which I honestly dislike, a fantranslation puts it as "Even as the chimera, her caring nature remains" and either way to me it feels like confirmation that itā€™s her giving those berries to Thistle. Now, wether or not she has the mental capacity of a chicken or something closer to human Falin, no clue, there has to at least be some kind of mind bond between monsters and the dungeon lord, compelling or forcing them to go along with orders, or calling her to him in distress like with the fight on the first floor. But yes, itā€™s interesting to wonder what it is that a Falin, with her kind soul but without her human mind, would willingly do. On her profile, sheā€™s described as Thistleā€™s guardian and servant. The power dynamic between the two are very interesting, I already went into how it might have felt like freedom to her while being fake so Iā€™ll reign myself in and just mention it again. Sheā€™s still at the heel of someone, only now itā€™s someone who doesnā€™t care about her back. Going from being cared for so strongly that itā€™s suffocating and they would defy death and the world for you, to being devoted to someone who has not one feeling about you besides your utility as a paw . She has all this care to give and to focus onto others and he has none to send back to her and I think thatā€™s part of it. In a way, being left with only her own feelings and a void, without expectations or feelings or ideals pushed onto her, it might have been soothing in itself, and eye opening. But yes the way I think of it, her care for Thistle isnā€™t unlike the care she gives the ghosts.
Interestingly, the care she extends for the ghosts is sending their soul to a peaceful death, freeing them, of life and any earthly attachment. Take that as you will with the themes of freedom and burden of life and mind, immortality and becoming a warped version of who you were, and such and such.
But going back on the topic of connections and bonds for a bit, I think academy days Falin & Marcille is super interesting bc weā€™ve never really see Falin form a connection besides with Marcille and even that is kept pretty ambiguous. When was the point that Falin started seeing Marcille as a friend and seeking her out? When was the "Iā€™ll lay down my life for you" point? Iā€™m so fascinated by how she wanted to share lunches with Marcille but never truly asked, only made little "hey want this? I found it isnā€™t it cool?" gestures of showing things to herā€¦ Itā€™s the only way she knows to ask, or maybe itā€™s the only way she feels comfortable to. In all the scenes of young Falin and Marcille Falin seems comfortable in her friendship with Marcille, but at the same timeā€¦ I think we see Falin at her most insecure around Marcille, because she really does care about Marcille and what she thinks of her so much, and while Marcille is a bit of an unstoppable force tornado style (affectionate) Falin is something of a doormat. Iā€™d usually say showing her berries was her earnest way to connect and be like "Hey bestie look at this! :]" , but thereā€™s a real possibility that she was self-conscious and holding herself back.
Friendship and Marcille! Involving Laios into this too but, again with the autism thing of not showing you care in ways that others understand, Marcille being very overtly affectionate and clingy was so so soo importantā€¦ Marcille keeping on hanging out with Falin and caring after her, and being undeterred/unbothered by Falin not always seeming like she cares all that much back in the conventional way, as in Falin acts nonchalant and a bit like she didnā€™t mind wether she was there with her or not during her outings to the cave dungeon. Caring and being clingy and so affectionate despite that in such a classic Marcille way is soo needed, because so often people will get discouraged by say, their friend not keeping in contact regularly/well, seeming disaffected or as happy-go-lucky as ever even if you havenā€™t seen each other in a while or when theyā€™re alone, and yes thereā€™s potential for a strong friendship there but someone like Falin wonā€™t be committed enough to reciprocating attention the same wayā€¦ I hope Iā€™m making sense but yes this angle in particular strongly correlates to autism. And the way Marcille always initiates physical affection, both Toudens being awkward about initiating touch because they donā€™t know if thatā€™s allowed, if theyā€™re going about the social interaction the right way, if theyā€™re allowed to ask that out of someoneā€¦
Another fun observation to make is about the 4 years Falin and Marcille spent apart. Marcille despite being of a long-lived race treated these 4 years of separation with more gravity than Falin did. Falin brushed it off very dismissively to say the least. But then you remember that the amount of time Falin and Laios didnā€™t see each other after he left the village was 8 years. Double the years, double the time. And that reminder makes Falinā€™s actions so starkingly understandable. Of course she wouldnā€™t see 4 years of separation as a long time if 8 years of separation with her beloved brother is her point of comparison. Of course sheā€™d see it as worth it to leave Marcille for 4 years if it meant ending those 8 years instead, especially if she was worried about him (the reason why she followed him into his caravan job).
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A friend always says that while Falin is the center of Marcilleā€™s world, Laiosā€™ is at the center of Falinā€™s, and I tend to agree.
Itā€™s fun to think of how her career dreams had always been shaped by Laios, even when they were kids. Of course thereā€™s how traveling the world began as a dream they talked about and shared, but thereā€™s how he reassures her by listing cool jobs she could do like traveling exorcist, etc. And then of course, she gave up on her magic academy and career path to follow him and do odd jobs, etc etc.
I should go into the violence of Faligon more tbh, because I think thereā€™s an interesting parallel to how she has no problem wacking things with a mace, wether a ghost when she was a kid or a walking mushroom as an adult. Something that often surprises fans when they remember, I donā€™t really want to get into the whole " Falin hates violence and hates seeing people in pain to an intense degree. ā€˜If you die do it somewhere where I canā€™t seeā€™ styleā€™ interpretation, it has some weight but on the whole I donā€™t vibe with the theory she has a particular aversion to violence, she seems to be fine resorting to it as much as any other adventurer as long as it isnā€™t needlessly against ghosts. And Falinā€™s sudden mace hits are fun to me too because itā€™s not her becoming a berserker when the need arises as much as her becoming active because something she cares about is threatened, and that brings her out of her passivity from 99% of the rest of the time. Thistle included. Falin always could be violent, she just dislikes senseless carnage. The Shuro party vs chimera fight is a bit ambiguous on it, because you can argue she only attached after being provoked, presumably offscreen as well while the ninjas went off to fight the harpies. Falin becomes the most active when she needs to protect someone, she has no qualms doing whateverā€™s needed for that, wether it be leaving the academy & Marcille without notice no matter the consequences or what her parents think, or teleporting the party, etc.
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Iā€™m working on a post specifically pointing out all the differences between Falin and Laios, but yes I think both of them selfishly desire freedom in different yet similar ways. Falinā€™s dark secret is "Ethics and risks are optional if it means I can protect those I love" like the teleportation, and Laiosā€™ is "Ethics and risks are optional if I can be free of all this bullshit" aka humanity aka his wish with the winged lion.
Conclusion
Flighted birds have hollow bones. With freedom and wings there comes risks and sacrifices.
Tldr: Falin doesnā€™t care all that much, sheā€™s very go with the flow. For example if someone hates her she doesnā€™t really care because thatā€™d require her caring about what they think of her in the first place, and she only cares about her loved ones. She smiles, but itā€™s more a state of being rather than out of active goodness: sheā€™s canonically very genuinely kind, but itā€™s more out of a general want for pleasantness than active care itself. Sheā€™s passive, and softspoken because thatā€™s just how she seems, but she has no problem hopping into bushes or getting heated if something calls to her enthusiasm or calls for action and a hit of the olā€™ mace. Her loved ones needing tending or protective is what makes her go from passive to active. That familiar autopilot mode of making someone the center of her world and following their every move is what made her so easy to be controlled as the chimera, even ferociously defending him with her life. Faligon is most interesting to me with the theme of freedom. Sheā€™s shackled to Thistle and out of her mind, but thereā€™s also a sense of empowerment and freedom from expectations and society. She spends all her time caring for Laios and Marcille alternating that none of her care and emotional energy is left for others, including herself. So she had to get relieved of all of that for a bit, becoming the chimera so she could reset and recenter and remember that she, too, indeed, is there and an important part of her own life. Thereā€™s a way of caring after others that can be selfish, not unlike Marcille being overly coddling and not listening to Falin. In Falinā€™s case, I think it was so selfless that it ended up looping back around to erasing her sense of self. In losing sight of herself, that devotion becoming neither quite selfish or selfless but a fact of life and a state of nature, muddled by its lack of direction.
Sheā€™s sooo used to never being able to ask things out of others, you get the crumbs of affection and approval that others offer to you unprompted and thatā€™s it donā€™t hope for more donā€™t ask for more. (Also reflected in how she follows her loved ones around without complain or personal opinions and how sheā€™s not willing to rock the boat and affirm herself in her relationships like with Marcille during canon)
Falin cares so much, so much and so laser focused on her few loved ones that it blinds her and she loses sight of everything else, she ends up neglecting herself and the rest of the world. As Kui puts it, Falin is herself first and foremost. She just had to remember the importance of that.
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I see her as an enneagram 9, which can be surprisingly accurate and fun to research through the lense of Falin. Excerpt below from this book, but like my god, good way to put it
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Thatā€™s it, ty for reading. Even if itā€™s a bit of a mess, hopefully youā€™ll have gained a thing or two from it. Falin is a character hard to pin down, but it is very gratifying when you find the way that the puzzle pieces fit together right for your own understanding of the story. Fantranslation of the shuro proposal comic by @/thatsmimi here.
Hereā€™s my spotify playlist for her if youā€™d like
Sometimes love is about letting go, a lesson a lot of the cast needed to learn. Self-loveā€™s important too, and just like with diets we need a healthy balance.
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#I find it hard to express myself right on the topic of Falin. Both because the issue is pretty vibe based and because we donā€™t#get that many moments with her. So thereā€™s ambiguous scenes up to interpretation addressing a layered topic and like. Save me. Save me#As always falling down the rabbithole of starting an analysis about a specific facet and then needing to explain everything else around it#Iā€™m doomed. Iā€™m getting lost in the sauce.#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#analysis#character analysis#meta#autistic reading#aroace reading as well. Sort of. Itā€™s mentioned#The aroace autistic guilt of not caring back in the way/with the intensity youā€™re expected to#As always this is just my interpretation blablabla#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#She loves like a dog aka unconditionally and happy with eating scraps of affection and attention off the floor#Laios touden#heā€™s here too bc they are an unit#If youā€™re not capitalizing on the uncanny vibe autistic effect for Falinā€™s character u are missing an opportunity imo#Fairyā€™s child is written all over her. Her cryptic-ness is the point so why am I surprised sheā€™s hard to fully pin down#Even with the graveyard scene it was Falin following Laiosā€¦ Sob. Laios could feel responsible her powers were found out#Iā€™d like to rework this at some point if i get better at structuring. Iā€™m not satisfied by the level of clarity#Will 90% for sure edit stuff in if i find more to say.#Fumi rambles#Crazy style#I give a TLDR at the end if youā€™d prefer. It doesnā€™t have the like evidence/explanations alongside but it makes the main points i think
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artilite Ā· 7 months ago
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have a lion dance for these trying times ā™„ā™„
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journey-to-the-attic Ā· 6 months ago
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uh oh
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to-illustrate-the-stars Ā· 22 days ago
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happy birthday to the cat lover ever of all time... my worstie matoba seiji šŸˆā€ā¬›šŸˆ
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cryscendo Ā· 5 months ago
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the ABCs of KEH: F IS FORā€¦ FASHION
Every moment in your life is an opportunity for fashion. (insp)
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emry-stars-art Ā· 1 year ago
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Thatā€™s it, first person to draw aftg mers or royals for me gets a cuddle/kiss chibi request they want done next thing
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cashmere-caveman Ā· 14 days ago
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forever obsessed w the fact that in bh lore vampires do actually die and stay dead for a short bit and then come back wrong. something that sadly never really gets elaborated on but that i find deeply fascinating bc it is implied that they remember the afterlife! which is such a cool and insane nugget of lore to give ur vampires like hello. also the implication that it scared the shit out of them, or at least out of mitchell..... can we talk about it!
mitchell eating his stupid fucking noodle box as hes waiting w the newly turned vamp to make sure he doesnt wake up alone and scared even though lauren mocks him for it!
mitchell making sure to remind george to NOT look at what's beyond the threshold when they are preparing to say goodbye to annie when her door shows up!
that little moment when annie decides to tell owen the secrets of the dead to drive him insane and george asks what that was all about and mitchell shakes his head so annie goes ahaha lol i was just improvising even though both her and mitchell know better!!!! thats their best friend who they will protect from the horrors of death as long as (in)humanly possible! they love you alive boy ā™”
#me trying to make any post abt a single member of the og trio: ok btw did u notice that all 3 of them loved each other so so much#being human#being human uk#john mitchell#i wish the fact that mitchell remembered Death was used beyond s1 bc it is one of my favourite creative decisions wrt supernatural lore tbh#its not really super prominent and they do keep his fear of death in the later seasons but that specific angle was sooo delicious#especially if u take into account the whole Guilt sitiation george has got going on that hes the only 'alive' member of the household#and as such the only one w a chance to Do Something More w his life and get out of there (he cannot. and hes never getting away from them.)#and how hes torn between wanting A Life bc he still has a chance however flimsy and The House (but it was never going to be human was it?)#and how as much as both annie and mitchell want him to stay bc they belong together (and it is heavily implied that a wolf/vamp/ghost trio#is actually the only truly stable environment for all three categories which is what has kempp and co so freaked out)#they also want him to seize life bc even though they cant he still can and he Should!!! and thats such a great element of tension imo#that sadly gets lost in s4 &5 a bit bc toms relationship to the mortal world is entirely different since he was never a normie so to speak#but yeah. i would make a webweave abt this except i lost all of my fucking episodes Plus my poetry collection when my pc died so#u get this 3 am ramble and if uve read this far u will also get the reminder to fucking make backups of ur stuff!!! do it for me pls!!!#the wise one learns from his mistakes but the genius learns from others mistakes or wtv ...... please learn from my mistakes lol#cavetext
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