#bc the plot is ''nat has no fucking idea what's happening but is now in a completely new and terrifying existence'' which gradually

[bigb-enthusiast]

OK LET'S GO! i have no idea how long this ramble will be :D

-the au is MAINLY flower ranchers centric, focused on "grian went missing and now they have to find him". he joined a cult (the watchers) is what happened lol. theres lots of plot stuff and martyn bigb and pearl help them along with some other people but for bigb specifically!

-the nosy neighbors are very much Do Not Separate Under Any Fucking Circumstances!

-this is because BEFORE the main plot, they were best friends and ALSO joined the cult. they got fun magic while they were there (pearl can talk to animals and bigb can alter memories/make people want to do stuff they wouldnt normally) but also It Was Literally An Evil Cult.

-bigb was the one to figure it out. he was fooling around with his magic and thought too hard about his and pearls circumstances and basically went "hangon this is bad stuff we're doing here??" (The watchers were making them do bad stuff with their magic. This is Important Trauma Event #1

-he and pearl make an escape attempt and barely succeed bc the watchers tried to mind control bigb sort of and 1) make him not leave and 2) make him make pearl not leave, WITH HIS MAGIC! BY MAKING BOTH OF THEM FORGET EVERYTHING! He snaps, kills a guy or seven, Gets Him And His Bestie The Fuck Out Of There, and loses a bunch of his magical ability in the process! :D Trauma Event #2.

-unfortunately there were even more side effects than this

-he now sometimes forgets what he was doing but with full hours disappearing except for some vague memories. also he randomly lies to people about unimportant things for no reason! This Is On Accident, I Cannot Stress This Enough. also he's not even using his magic then but he keeps rolling nat 20s on charisma soooo (Trama Event(s) #3). fortunately it's only little things like what he ate for breakfast or that he saw a cool bug or what his fav ice cream flavor is. nothing big enough to have serious fallout

-(he still gets very worried about that though, but pearl is there to help him <3 neither of them have told anybody* about anything they went through also so they literally only have each other. theyre just trying to be normal people)

-*we'll get to that later :)

-I mentioned that he lost a bunch of his magical ability! Well he still has enough that he can use magic it just takes a lot more energy and effort and like he can't just wave a hand and someone forgets their entire life (he used to be that strong.) now though he can still fiddle with peoples minds but he HATES doing it bc of what the watchers made him do (im thinking they essentially tried to use him as a recruitment officer??) so in the (so far only one) incredibly rare circumstance he feels forced to actually use magic, he will become incredibly overwhelmed with guilt<3

-Now It's Time For The Fun Part.

-so we all know last life swamprot! there was a betrayal, a fuckton of guilt and sadness, and a Grudge.

-we're fastforwarding to the present, scott has obtained magic and he's close with cleo so he told her just about everything (with him and tango and jimmy at least). scott does not know about anyone else having magic yet. (Martyn also has magic from the listeners, but he's got his own stuff going on.)

-in CLEO'S past, martyn and her had... something going on. but martyn told her about his magic, so when scott told her, she already knew it was A Thing.

-BUT ACTUALLY, SHE EVEN KNEW BEFORE THEN!

-im thinking that one time after bigb had, like, a particularly bad memory/"i'm going to hurt everyone and not even know it" episode, pearl ends up a few days later in her OWN puddle of guilt bc she knows hes only suffering this bad bc she was there with him during all the watcher stuff and she gets drunk or something and goes to cleo to cry and ends up telling them E V E R Y T H I N G

-cleo, being a good friend, doesnt tell anyone anything and when pearl doesnt remember either the next day they think it best to let her forget too lest she panic. so cleo is basically the one friend that knows everyones secrets but none of the friends know about anyone else? later on everyone gets told everything but cleo was stuck with the Curse of Knowledge for a bit (side effect of being a trustworthy friend lmao)

-SO ONE DAY *cue evil laughter*

-one day, after the FRs have some adventure or whatnot, and cleo and bigb are hanging out, cleo decides that maybe it's time to help the nosy neighbors with their insane mental burdens. they try to allude to bigb that they KNOW, thinking that pearl would feel less bad about everything if B was also there to be like "hey man it's cool, i'm not mad at you" and all.

-B Fuckign Panics Again

-TIME FOR BIGB'S MAGIC ISSUES TO COME INTO PLAY AGAIN :D

-bigb, in this now-panic, makes cleo forget everything about HIM and magic. imagine "all instances of 'bigb' and 'magic' in the same thoughts or memories disappearing" type stuff. unfortunately cleo's known for long enough and still remembers pearl and martyn and scott and knows what bigb's power is and bigb just isnt thorough enough in a panic and his magic isnt strong enough to cover the gaps so when she blinks back into the present she Knows What He Did. and shes MAD

-(she knows why he did it, but she doesnt understand why he wouldnt trust her, but ESPECIALLY why even though he was SO scared of ever hurting anyone with his magic, he was willing to erase her memory without a second thought)

-This is Trauma Event #4

-now, he actually DID have a LOT of second thoughts. it took him a mental debate and a LOT of apologizing before and while he did it but he erased cleos memory of THAT in the process.

-and she doesnt have the backup memories to get that part back. so that's a tiny bit of miscommunication but it actually works well (i think)

-now once everything gets explained, for the most part everything gets cleared up, but bigb thinks cleo DOES remember him apologizing bc she remembered everything else, and cleo is mad at him because she DOESN'T, but that's mostly just a little bit of extra tension between them. everything else is fine

-(cleo martyn and nosy neighbors have the Important Informational Conversation before the FRs are made aware of any of their stuff though)

-theres still more but it's like scattered in bits and pieces that require a lot more explaining and this ask is long enough already LMAO

DO YOU LIKE WHAT I HAVE SO FAR :DDD

THIS IS WO COOL OMG WTF HRBWHICHWBCJEHCBEBGKFOJW

[alivegirlmari]

hii it's the same anon from rose's blog hopping over here because your tags on that mari post are so. yeah. it IS an inevitable car crash she is creating that which destroys her BECAUSE she's so scared it's so!!!! and YESSS there's a REASON why there are only two people she regularly like. makes fun of or snaps at and it's because everyone else will bite back in some way, because they know and she knows that she IS so close to the bottom of that totem pole. it's something she does out of social survival but it's both obvious enough to everyone where her position in the group is that it's kind of futile, and it pisses enough people off that it's probably dooming her further. thank you fellow mari warrior for your service she's so funny but if i think about her too long she makes me sad

HIIII anon hiii sorry for answering this late but please know you can ALWAYS hop into my inbox bc the mari stans need to stick together. it’s hard out here for us AND our girl 💔 this is long as hell so putting it under a readmore :-)

anyways ur last line is soo real. mari reminds me so much of jackie in the sense that they’re literally just sad teen girls!! yes ofc everyone else is too but bc neither really contribute majorly (in both the literal sense of contributing to the group the way nat-as-hunter does, and in the driving the plot sense the way lottie and tai do), their characters feel so much more grounded and real. bc without the possession and dreams and sleepwalking and relationship drama, everything's stripped away and you're just left with a scared teenage girl at the centre, desperate to survive. but mari lives when jackie doesn't bc mari does adapt!! mari moves with the status quo, and mari sides with power. and yet! she doesn't have that power herself! she's shielded by it at times, but she's not holding the shield itself, so ofc it can always be used against her. which is the whole point! nothing she does is enough to save her! mari, to me, feels like a character who barely scrapes by, if that makes sense? or like, a character who is at least never close to being on top. a real 'i submitted the assignment five mins before it was due' beat. the 'i made the cut off, made it into the next round, but ranked in last place' special. aka: she's doomed! she's a car-crash girl!

and sooo true about the futility of snapping at the only two people she can...like who is it helping/hurting, exactly? crystal & misty didn't really give a fuck because they were *secure* in themselves (see: not minding the taste of snackie, wanting to make snackie broth, generally being unapologetic), and also had each other. mari has akilah, which i don't think is enough (esp now that akilah's integrating herself into things, and has been given a reason to get home lol), and mari isn't secure! she's defensive when ben questions the cannibalism, she makes awkward jokes about it, she shot down the broth idea, she clings to whoever has power even when it seems like a sinking ship (insisting on the competition rules when there was a moose to save), she desperately needs a leader. as you said, being mean to crusty - while #valid - is like, 'oh look, i'm not your number one target, look at these two losers, i've got power and status over you two, this makes me (feel) safe'. but mari IS the loser in everyone else but crusty's stories lmao! all she's doing is just making that clearer!! it's not only futile but also like, incredibly short-sighted: what does she think would happen if crystal and misty just stopped existing? who'd be on the bottom then?

so yeah i'm v v v excited to see her maybe get even more bitchy now that crystal's gone, i think (hope) it'll shake her. she's operating on a whole different dimension of fear lmaooo, she's gonna be scared for normal reasons (someone is missing/dead) AND bc she's another notch lower on the totem pole now!! and she'll know it!! the literal only target she has left is misty, who is a) about to be useful and deliver a baby, and b) potentially at her most fragile (not emotionally, just in terms of looking suspicious & her role in the group being less secure bc of it) in the wake of crystal dying. so i wonder how that'll effect their three seconds of shared screentime dskdkfdsdfmf. i think they're really similar honestly, in terms of understanding the power of power, control, status. can a weirdgirl and a hatergirl ever be friends? not in this cabin unfortunately </3 (idk if you've seen it but misty's actress was like 'yeah if crystal hadn't befriended her she probs would've ended up snapping mari's neck' lmao)

idek if this all makes sense im running on 5hrs of sleep but feel free to message me anything about mari nolastname or anyone/anything else whenever!!! ty for sending this ask!!!!

[albatris]

hello! somewhat new follower here, I love what ive seen of atdao and rental car but also I'm,, not fully sure what they're about? oops? if you have a summary post for them (or want to summarize them shortly [or not shortly haha] here) I'd love to see it!

hello!! welcome somewhat new follower to the Whatever This Is!! I love u and I hope you're having a good day!! I am very sleepy

but yes!! yeah, I can do this

so uhhh "I like these vibes but I have no idea what this WIP is about" is a pretty standard reaction to this blog hahahaha. my general approach to writeblr has been "I'm just going to start yelling about my WIPs with no context and people are welcome to jump on board for the ride if they like!!". that being said - I have a few posts that might be up your alley! but some of them are! rambly! lengthy! being concise is not my strong suit

I will give you a basic rundown of each plot (still will probably be a lot though) under the cut, but first I'll toss you a few links to some specific info that will talk about it all in more detail :3

here's the original comic sans powerpoint intro for ATDAO, though it's very old and certain details have changed now.... here's my go-to explaining-the-ATDAO-plot ramble post..... and here are some funky little character intro slides to give you a quick rundown of the MCs!

here's my powerpoint for rental car! much shorter and neater than the ATDAO one, and a pretty decent rundown of the plot! I recommend this as the place to start!! my explanation of rental car under the cut will be very sleepy and clumsy. (though I did make the powerpoint before I started writing, so some of the details particularly for Yvonne and Alex are different now.) but ye, you can find lots of more specific posts about worldbuilding elements and characters in the general rental car tag (it is also currently much shorter and neater than the general ATDAO tag hahaha)

both projects also have a playlist too, n I love to share those whenever I have the chance lmao

now, I will tell you of the plots, in an attempt to summarise that will likely still get very out of hand, if you care to read c:

so first up is All the Doors are Open! my longest-standing WIP! I'm bad at picking genres blah blah young adult fantasy/sci-fi/adventure blah blah. aims to land right in the dead centre of the overlap of "serious story about serious things" and "nonsense silliness and a bonkers plot that knows it's bonkers and leans into it hard" :P

vibes? found family, power of kindness and connection, goodness of humanity, learning self love, lots of cheesiness, happy endings all round! plus, ‘cause it’s an important point to me For Reasons, a psychotic protagonist whose psychosis isn’t demonised or used for some cheap plot twist like “haha the whole thing was a delusion all along none of it was real surprise!” or “turns out it was never psychosis and it was just magic powers!” - neither is it ignored or “just something that happens to be there”. it’s an integral part of his character and plotline alongside the very real magical bullshit he’s involved in, and it affects both how he relates to the world and how he approaches the story’s central mystery. it’s not a story About Mental Illness, but it is a story about mental illness

ANYWAY

ATDAO takes place in South Australia but a weird parallel dimension equivalent of, in a universe where the fabric of reality is unraveling! cracks in reality called Ports are cropping up with more and more frequency, causing all kinds of strange inexplicable phenomena. everyone is pretty sure the end is nigh, but the end sure is taking its sweet time, so in the meantime there's not much folks can do but try to continue about their regular lives as best they can against this bizarre apocalyptic backdrop. like, sure, some guy's feet got eaten by the footpath this morning and your toaster may be possessed, but you have, like, normal people problems. you have rent. you have homework. you're just hoping that weird humming sinkhole in the backyard won't reach your shed because you do NOT have time for that right now

the plot primarily follows Tris and Noa, fellow high school students at Northbrook and best friends four years and counting! I've gone back and forth so many times on whether their plotlines will be separate books or the same one and I still don't know!

Tris's plotline centres around him being the sole witness to a freak car accident that somehow causes his older brother Jacob to blip out of reality entirely. it's pretty weird, even by apocalypse standards. the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities are convinced if things happened the way Tris thinks they happened, then Jacob is deeefinitely dead and there's nothing they can do. the cops are convinced things did NOT happen the way Tris believes they did 'cause Tris is schizophrenic and Jacob was (apparently) already involved in some shady nonsense that would more than account for a disappearance under mysterious circumstances - as in, they think Jacob's disappearance is just regular people crimes and Tris is just stressed out and scrambling for any other explanation. however, due to a series of subsequent odd events, Tris knows for a goddamn fact that Jacob is still alive somewhere out there, scared and in danger. Tris takes it upon himself to find out the truth about the accident and find a way to bring Jacob home safely, whatever it takes. cue bizarre interdimensional mystery quest into a fucked-up pocket dimension that can be described as "being lost down the back of the universe's sofa"! much easier said than done, when most of the time Tris is too anxious to leave the house let alone leave his entire reality

Noa's plotline kicks off with her bluffing her way into a job at the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities (aka the folks who appropriately handle and de-escalate dangerous Port-related situations) 'cause she's broke and desperate. a relatively routine mission goes awry and Noa has a run in with some otherworldly energies that leave her Kind Of Different - she starts hearing strange voices, seeing ghosts and into other universes, n affecting the reality around her in increasingly unpredictable ways. she suspects she herself might be becoming something Port-adjacent, which is. not great! in the midst of her spiral of paranoia and desperation to hiding her growing instability from her new coworkers and potential friends, she turns to definitely-not-a-mad-scientist Melissa Marrick - who claims to have experienced the same thing many years prior and can help Noa find a way out, for a price. Marrick turns out to have her own shady as fuck agenda, however, and Noa is thrown into a bunch of vaguely superhero-supervillain-esque shenanigans as the pair go head-to-head over Marrick's ultimate plans. unfortunately for Marrick, Noa has seventeen years of pent-up rage and is completely willing to kick the ass of anyone who says things like "some people are expendable" and "this is for the greater good". This Shit Is Personal

the other two main characters you'll hear me talk about are Shara, Port enthusiast and amateur paranormal investigator on a quest to find the source of the apocalypse, and Kai, struggling with the aftermath of losing seven years of their life inside a time loop whirlpool and finding out the world moved on without them and their beloved family thinks they died

so that's! all that! don't let the Legitimate Serious Plot Talk fool you, this story is ridiculous from start to finish

NOW FOR RENTAL CAR

A Rental Car Takes a Left Down Rake Street and Disappears is my first foray into writing horror, but idk if it's turning out very horror-ish yet xD aside from this, it's fantasy/supernatural, aimed at an older audience than ATDAO but I feel weird calling it adult fiction lmao

honestly the powerpoint and the rental car tag are your best bets for understanding the gist of the plot I think. but I will Try to summarise here, I'm just not great at rental car summaries yet....... eeh

it's......... about a bunch of unhinged weirdos trying to murder a giant vampire hivemind! it's campy! it's violent! it's incredibly self-indulgent! it's wholesome in a yikes kind of way! it’s still an albatris WIP so it’s incredibly cheesy and silly, but also like. MUCH much darker and more visceral than ATDAO

the plot is. hm. regular normal human person Nathaniel Finch is on his way home from work like usual! then the next thing he knows, he wakes up covered in dirt in his rental car on the side of the road in the middle of the night nine days later! with no memory of what's just happened to him!

after considerable panic and confusion, he returns to his life and quickly realises that something is very VERY wrong with him now cough he's turning into a vampire cough. despite his near chronic agony, coughing up of blood, almost passing out in public several times, newfound allergic reaction to sunlight and sudden influx of completely alien murderous urges, Nat just kind of goes "fuck fuck fuck I don't have the time or money for this fuck" and decides He Is Fine. On God, He Is Going To Be Fine

one thing leads to another n he accidentally commits an extremely gruesome murder and drinks a dude’s blood at work, then is yoinked from the grisly crime scene by Quinn, a totally normal kind selfless human person with no ulterious motives whatsoever <3

n basically, yeah, Quinn is a shady bastard who loves going on a bit of a power trip and has a whole system of both vampires and humans under their thumb. likes to pounce on newly-turned vulnerable vamps because they're easy to manipulate and exploit and gaslight ‘cause they’re scared and confused and desperate

Quinn and Nat have a whole tense thing at first where Quinn is in control then Nat flips this on its head then they both kind of reach a very dicey stalemate n end up just being kind of. vaguely partners in this whole big mess. then friends who genuinely value and trust each other <3 they kind of speedrun a very intense love/obsession romantic relationship with each other. is it healthy? not really! are they equally fucked up and monstrous and an equal threat to each other? yeah! are they equally adoring and consumed by and in love with each other? also yeah! do they actually genuinely care about each other on a deeply loving, gentle, selfless level? eventually!

are they still very yikes? yeah. yep

so ye, plotwise, Nat is trying to adjust to his new. situation. while trying to figure out what the fuck happened to him during his nine day blackout (besides Got Turned Into A Fucking Vampire Somehow), n every bit of the mystery he solved lands him with ten new questions. he gets kind of. dragged into this whole bullshit confusing violent power struggle between like six different parties, while having NO fucking idea what his role to play in it is

Quinn also has no idea. Quinn just hopped on board because “hey new vampire I can bully look after <3″ and then gets roped into.............. the everything

n idk how to go about explaining it without spoilers, but it turns out Nat was not turned into a vampire by ordinary methods and Is Not A Normal Vampire, n just

look, man, there’s a giant vampire hivemind called the Garble that exists as the origin of all vampires and the very very very centre of this thing is MISERABLE and wants to stop being immortal and finally be allowed to die, while the rest of the Garble has taken on a mind of its own and Refuses To Let It Die, n blah blah they’ve gotta murder Vampire God. they’ve just gotta do it. Nat Finch Is Going To Murder And Eat God. okay. this is a reasonable goal for any normal 25 year old

uhhhh other things in rental car, hmmmm

there’s an ugly cat that is like 90% of Nat’s emotional support system! there’s a fucked up little house that gaslights you! there’s body horror! there’s mind control! there’s vampire zombies! there’s Quinn shoving a guy’s head through some temperamental electrical equipment and frying his brain! there’s Nat pinning Quinn down on a bed with claws to their throat and threatening to kill them and Quinn being weirdly, uncomfortably into it! there is a LOT of characters getting some good ol' sheer cathartic fucking FURY. there’s. an extremely bittersweet but not necessarily unhappy ending, depending on which angle you tilt your head at when you look at it

it’s found family! Nat, Alex and Yvonne are nice enough people albeit a little unhinged and not particularly well-adjusted, Quinn is fully a dramatic evil supervillain with a huge soft side but zero morals whatsoever, Lloyd is Just Kind Of There, look, they all make it work. Quinn and Nat take turns holding each other back from making objectively morally terrible violent decisions by the scruff of the neck. peace and love on planet earth <3

also gonna tack on two recent worldbuildy posts you can check out if you want also to help you get a better feel for dynamics and worldbuilding. they’re Rambles though. I like them but they're wordy :3

a post about Quinn’s deal, a post about the Garble

ok goodnight I love you. godspeed, stranger

[roger-that-cap]

meet me in the gardens

summary: being the widow of a decently wealthy lord and sitting on a large plot of land automatically meant that you were a candidate for the program that you couldn’t say not to; the hosting. you had to sponsor a knight and keep them in your home for an entire year, which was troublesome enough on its own. but you never expected your knight to be a woman, and you certainly didn’t expect to have a full on illegal love affair with her, either. 

warnings: lots of emotions, feelings, slightly cynical and bitter reader- she’s honestly just being a realist, we are chugging forward, did not check for typos, format could be fucked up bc i’m posting from my phone quite literally minutes before i clock in- PATHETIC LMAO

word count: 2.7k

this is a short chapter by my standards, but it felt long to me because of the things in it??? this is part five! all other parts can be found on my masterlist, it’s my pinned post!

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Wanda asked while she tied your corset, not even needing to ask whether it was too tight or loose. You looked up in your vanity and immediately tried to wipe your smile away, but it was too late. She knew you better than anyone, and she had yet to see a thoughtful smile on your face, ever. Pietro, who had caught you going back inside the previous night, caught on to the fact that you looked more carefree, and that you just seemed to look like you were carrying around less. 

“Nothing.” 

“Hmm,” Wanda hummed, an entertained look on her face. Something told you that she already had an idea of what was going on, even though there was no way she could have. Besides, you hardly even knew what was going on. “I’ll ask again later.” She looked you in the eyes through the mirror, a slightly mischievous smile on her face. “Maybe then you’ll tell the truth,” she said, flicking you on the side of the head, and then letting it rest.

§§

Natasha was out in the village doing whatever it was the knights did one night, and she was planning on spending the night at a bed and breakfast before coming back in the morning. As disheartened as you were about not being able to see her for your stargazing, you were partly glad for it. You missed being with the twins. 

You had dinner with them alone, sitting and laughing about old memories and scheduling times to make new ones together. You loved the way you could be with them. Your laughter was allowed to go over the volume of a giggle without them looking at you like you had grown seven heads, your silverware were allowed to take a tumble onto your plate with a clatter without a second glance, and you were allowed to use whatever language you pleased. You missed the comfort that you felt with them, the comfort that your brain and the part of you that would always be the farm girl felt with them. 

“And Pietro chased him all the way off, you should have seen how terrified he was,” Wanda recapped, and you couldn't help but grin at Pietro, who was sipping wine with his charming grin. “That boy will never lift another skirt, I can assure you of that.” 

“I’m glad,” you mused, shooting Pietro a look that made him laugh. 

“Enough about me,” he said after swallowing a sip of his wine that was much more like a gulp. “We’re not going to talk about how you’ve been walking on the clouds for weeks now?” 

You nearly dropped your fork again. “What do you mean?”

“We’ve both realized,” Pietro said, motioning with his buttered knife towards his sister, who had a soft smile on her face as she observed your reaction. “That you have been significantly happier. Even with the circumstances-”

“Pietro,” Wanda hissed, but you just snorted and shook your head. 

“It’s like you found your own little pocket of happiness. We were worried about you, but, you’re doing alright.” Ever the blatant one out of the three of you, he leaned forward with his trademark smirk, eyes full of curiosity. “What do you know that we don't?” 

You hesitated for a second, mouth opening and closing twice as you grappled for anything to say, even a lie. And then, you settled on just shrugging your shoulders with a grin, shaking your head. “Honestly, Pietro, I know nothing. I don’t know anything.”

§§

Your heart was beating faster than normal as you looked at the woman next to you, your hand subconsciously itching closer to hers as you sat on the ground, ass on the blanket that you had brought out.  “I would like to… show you something.” 

It was probably the twentieth time that you and Natasha had met with each other, and still, you were entranced by her and everything that she did.  And you were entranced while you stared at her and waited for her answer, just a little nervous as to what she would say. 

As if she would ever say no to something you said. 

“Show me anything you’d like me to see,” Natasha urged on, and you fought back a smile. You stood up, and she did the same, and then you were picking up the blanket and walking side by side with her. It was quiet the entire way there as you walked in step with her, hand brushing against her every few steps and sending tingles down your arm every time it happened. 

The feeling that you got when she touched you made you feel both alive and scared to death. You weren’t stupid. You knew what you were steadily collecting more than friendly feelings for her, and that she may have been on the same page you were on. The game you were playing was a dangerous one, the risk threatening to swallow up the reward more and more by the day. 

You had known that being with her by yourself was bad judgement, ever since the first time you did it. Hell, the look you gave her the first time you met her was far from appropriate. Every single conversation that you had with her was a risk, and both of you knew it. And now that your soon-to-be husband was approaching, it was even more scandalous. No one knew and you hoped no one would ever find out, but hiding forever wasn’t a choice. But what would you be hiding if there were no true feelings? 

You hated yourself for falling for her and her pretty words. 

“I used to come here to escape,” you started, pulling yourself out of your thoughts, voice low as you passed the tree line to get into the thick of the woods. You narrowly missed stepping in a particularly muddy spot on the ground. “This was my spot, before I got the garden of course.”

“The woods?” 

“No, Nat,” you said, slightly amused as you stepped over a fallen branch. You smiled a bit when the sound of running water hit your ears.  “The stream.” 

You knew the exact second that she saw it, because her eyes widened and her breath hitched.  “That’s not a stream, that’s a river.”

“It’s the forgotten part of the main river,” you explained. “It’s much skinnier and more shallow, and it doesn't have nearly as much fish coming through, so people forget about it.” You looked towards her and saw how intrigued she was by it, so you judged her armor free body with a slight smirk. “What? Never seen running water?”

“I lived in the capital, all they had was the ocean. And even then I was never allowed on the harbor if I wasn’t selling clams, and I didn’t sell clams much.”

You felt silence start to grow between the two of you, so you said the first thing that you thought of. “You don’t look like a clam seller.” 

He looked away from the river and to you, a slight grin on her face even as she talked again. “And you don’t look like a petal kisser, blossom, but look where we are today.”

Your heart raced in your chest. “Blossom? Is that what you’re calling me now?” 

“It’s only payback for calling me ‘cherry’,” she said, and you stifled a laugh at the retired name, glancing up at the red hair that you had gotten inspiration from.  

“You didn’t actually mind it,” you said, looking off into the distance, only looking back at her when a warm hand slotted over yours. You blinked and looked down at your hands, which she had intertwined, and then back up at her again, only to see that she was staring straight ahead in the dark at the way the moonlight hit the water. 

“How could I?” She asked softly, a subtle breeze picking up.”You were the one saying it.” She looked at you, and in the dim lighting, you could have sworn that her eyes were saying, you can call me anything in the book, and I will own it proudly. And then, the look changed to something else, something less devoting, and something more passionate. It took you a few seconds to understand what the look meant, and before you could fully register it, she was leaning forward. 

A few seconds came and went where you could feel your heartbeat all over, and you tried to look somewhere other than in her eyes. You couldn't. “Don’t look at me like that.” When all Natasha did was tilt her head to the side and give you an even more intense version of the look, you let out a small sigh. “Please.”

“Why not?” 

She knew why. She knew why probably better than you did after living in the capital. She saw what happened firsthand to people who committed crimes, and those who committed second degree adultery. If you two did what you were wanting to do with your entire heart, you would fall right into that category. “I know where this is going,” you said softly, “and this won’t end well.” 

“Why not?” She asked again, and you turned your head to the side, shaking it slightly and closing your eyes. 

“Because, I’m about to get married,” you hissed, and though you didn’t mean to sound so angry, you did. Natasha was hardly affected. 

She lifted her arms and let them fall against her clothing with a soft slap that still echoed in the night. “You’re not married right now.” 

“But I will be, Natasha,” you said, gripping her hands and squeezing  them softly, begging for her to understand you. “What’s going to happen when I get married to a man who already has a streak for murdering his wives, and he finds out that I have feelings for you? He’ll kill me. He’ll kill you. And if he doesn’t, we’ll both be hung for adultery, after being put into torture camps for being… together as women.” 

“I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, Y/N, you know that.” The fervency in her tone nearly shocked you as she took a bold step forward, nearly surrounding you in her scent and energy. “I would never let anything happen to you.” 

“You’re too important for me to condemn to death and dishonor just because I have feelings for you. It was selfish of me to meet with you in the first place, but I can’t let myself do this. It’s a bad idea,” You said, voice hushed even though no one would have followed you. You were trembling, hand shaking more than anything else as you tried to understand how fast everything was moving; forward and backwards, sewing together and ripping apart all the same. If you were any more attentive to her expression, you would have seen the grin that lit up her face as your confession. “We were just about to cross a line. We’ve crossed quite a few dotted ones, but this one? It is bold and blaring.” 

“Blossom,” Natasha started, and you just shook your head and kept going. 

“And-and what we were just about to do? That crosses the line. We cannot.” 

“Do you really think my feelings for you are going to change depending on whether or not we kiss?” She asked, her voice slightly deeper than usual, almost sounding insulted. “You’re telling me to close my heart off from you, not to not kiss you. And you know that.”  

“What if I am?” You asked, eyes starting to burn with tears. “I’m doing it for the right reasons, Nat. I’m trying to save us from a world of hurt when reality finally sinks in.”

“That isn’t today.” She took another step forward and this time, you couldn't find the strength in you to step back. “And it isn’t tomorrow, and not even within the fortnight. You and I have something, and I know that you know it’s different. It’s special. We would be so stupid to ignore it, so stupid.” 

“I know, I know,” you said, voice tapering off into a whine as you slowly felt your resolve come apart, even though you thought it was stronger. “I’m sorry.”

 “You don’t have to apologize,” Natasha said after a few minutes of pure silence, and you found yourself exhaling. “I just wish things were different.” 

  “I know,” she said, and you turned to look up at the sky, tears threatening to come down on your cheeks. The stars seemed to twinkle and wink at you, talking amongst themselves about a future you had no idea about just yet. 

“Guess they’re never gonna line up,” you murmured to yourself, and then you heard Natasha grumble something from your side, and then she was coming closer, a barreling energy force full of passion and intent, and you knew exactly what she was coming for. For less than a split second, you thought about it. And then you turned your head and met her halfway. 

You would have been surprised by the passion in it if you weren’t just as desperate for the contact. You twisted in her arms, already wrapped around you as she drew you in close, closer than you had ever been with her, and the tears that were welling up before were now escaping for a different reason. Your lips were pressing into hers, moving fluidly and with an air of fervor that she matched equally. You felt wanted, and needed, and you felt loved. You felt the tenderness of the moment with every brush of her fingers on the back of your neck and with every rub of your back over the thin material of your night dress. 

Your legs were shaking, and she noticed before you did that you were getting weak in the knees. She held you up and pulled back slightly, just enough for you to feel her lips brush against yours while she asked if you were okay, like she wasn’t willing to take herself from you just yet. And honestly, you weren’t ready for her to leave you, either. You nodded, and she leaned in again, much slower, and then you had time to think. 

Her eyes weren’t the same shade they were when the sun hit them, they were almost an eerie pale blue, but they were still just as gorgeous to you, especially now that they were slanted with desire. Her hair wasn’t perfect like she somehow always managed or it to be, and you realized that it was because you had gotten a hand to run through it despite the way that she had previously held you like a lifeline. Her lashes were long, and you swore that she was close enough that you could count them. Her cheekbones were accentuated in the lighting, making her look like something straight out of a fairy tale, like a floating fae creature that led people to safety. In that moment, you could have sworn that she was the answer to every prayer you had ever whispered, to every question you had ever asked your etiquette teachers. In that moment, and in every moment to come, she was your ending and beginning, your creation and destruction, your sunrise and sunset. She was Natasha Romanoff, and in that moment, no wedding or murderous man even held a candle to the way you felt about her.

  What a beautiful person. 

“Now you’re looking at me strangely,” Natasha said, her voice quieter than you had ever heard it as the both of you treated over the moment carefully, trying not to break it and leave it in shambles. “What are you thinking about?” 

“How I’m going to have to pretend like this never happened in a few weeks,” you said softly, and part of you hated yourself for bringing up the bad part of the future so soon after you both had just lost all ties to reality. 

“You don’t have to,” she said, stroking your hair. “We can just keep doing what we’re doing, sneaking off in the night and coming back in the morning before anyone realizes. Nothing really has to change, I just want you to know that I… that we can be whatever you want us to be.” 

“As long as we’re in the confines of the garden walls.” 

“And now the woods,” Natasha said, and you couldn’t help but laugh in her arms. 

“And now the woods."

****

this is short, but i couldn’t see anything being tacked on to this. we’re at an important part, and from here it’s gonna be fun!! thank y’all for reading; if you liked it please drop a like and a reblog bc it makes my day!! comments also make me ascend y’all

tags!! : tags! : @teenwonder @saamwilscn @procrastinatingsapphictrash @fayhar @8plasma @slut-for-nat @dontmindmejustreading @swords-are-cool @200605chaeng @thescottishavenger @antidaytime @jenny-song @madamevirgo @natasha-danvers @blackxwidowsxwife​ @shycucumbersandwich @dailyavengering @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @ima-gi--na-tion @chickenhavewisdom

so sorry if i forgot anyone!!!!!

[stillgirlfrommars]

you’ve got news

So, I already talked about this with @missmorwen​ and I know I don’t have the time to draw and make an actual comic out of it, BUT I cannot stop thinking about this SamSteve-post-engdame-fix-it story (with a dash of BuckyNat, ‘cause that’s just who I am) which is kinda crack and very rom-com (a bit you’ve got mail) inspired and doesn't make much sense, because... PLOT HOLES but * sigh * I kinda wanna share at least the idea so - bear with me:

So, instead of Nat dying, Steve sacrifices his Captain America powers on Vormir and comes back as Skinny!Steve and starts running a political blog called you’ve-got-news in secret, uncovering all kinds of shady business/corruption and becoming the bane of existence of every politician and greedy CEO - but it takes a while for his friends to figure out it's him who’s running that increasingly popular blog (which the new Captain America is actually a big fan of ;)). And the way that happens is as follows:

So, Steve almost died at the end of Endgame. The idiot (affectionate) of course still wanted to fight Thanos, but even with Thor’s Hammer, he took some serious, serious injuries which led to a tough talk with Sam, Nat and Bucky

Like I imagine, that while Steve would not have any regrets whatsoever about giving up his powers, he would still need some time to come to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to participate in the action like he used to. Even though, he actually wants and knows... it’s time to ... start something new, it’s still a process. So, there he is, trying to figure out who he is without the mantle of Captain America, re-defining the way he can and will fight against bullies in the future (cause there is no way he’s gonna stop that).

And to the surprise of everyone, Steve actually doesn’t press for participating in Avenger-style-fights anymore (he still does some of the practical mission planning and shit like that) but most importantly, he starts taking up new hobbies, like cooking or old hobbies like drawing - and he seems happier than he has in a long time, and yeah maybe it’s a bit too good to be true, if Sam starts thinking about it. But, hey, Steve finally seems to be happy so -

Meanwhile, Sam still becomes the new Captain America, and Steve is there while he is adjusting, finding himself in that role. He is there when Sam needs to talk things through, and yeah, it would still be a process like in tfatws series, but ... a little bit less alone, I guess. 

So, the new Captain America fights alongside Nat and Bucky - and it’s good, they work surprisingly well together, but also: those two are stuck right in the middle of a weird assassin!flirting situation (I’m imagening a lot of veeery intense staring at the other while cleaning their weapons or beating someone up, innuendos en masse, dark humour etc.). And frankly, it’s getting on Sam's nerves because they seem to be so oblivious about the whole damn thing. Neither of them is actually admitting to anything, no, they are too busy teasing him about the ‘crush’ he has developed on that mysterious dude who is running the famous political-youve-got-news-blog that gained momentum a while ago and is currently keeping all the corrupt politicians and CEOs on their toes.

So, yeah, Sam might have been caught a couple of times reading or reciting from that blog because - it has actually turned into a pretty efficient way of mobilising people to demonstrate for change and it did give him some tip-offs in regards to who the bad guy really was and yeah. But it’s not a crush... Sam just really likes reading the blog posts, okay. That dude seems pretty cool and they share the same moral code, so... whatever.

What Nat and Bucky and Steve don't know (and he’ll never tell them), is that Sam is actually kiiiiinda already frequently talking with the guy who runs the blog. Anonymously on both ends, of course (because for good reasons both of them are pretty careful about giving away information concerning their identities). And in a way that whole anonymity-thing makes it a lot easier to talk about stuff he finds harder to admit to the people who he knows directly. So, you could say, blog-guy has kinda become Sam's internet friend, but not his crush, no.

Honestly, the crush he is more concerned about (that he also isn't planning on telling anyone about any time soon, cause Bucky would just tease him and Nat would start scheming) is, well, it’s Steve. Because, damn, he likes their get-togethers a lot, the meals Steve's cooking are honestly to die for. They watch baseball together, they do museum-trips... And the way they can talk about (almost) everything... He just feels understood and... yeah, loved (maybe not in the way that he wishes for, but still) and it’s nice to see Steve so happy and okay, maybe it’s getting a bit out of control because Sam took Steve with him to visit Sarah and his nephews and Sarah kinda saw right through his act of ‘hey, this is my best friend’ and ‘what do you mean, I don’t have feelings- okay. Yeah maybe I do’ and told him in no uncertain terms to fucking do something about it and get his shit together.

The thing is, he’s got it bad. But Sam is also torn, because this is the best fucking friendship he's ever had and he does not want to jeopardise that. So, in the end he ends up talking about this with his Internet friend... about how he kinda has this huge crush on his best friend, and his Internet friend is like, ‘TELL ME ABOUT IT, big fucking same here UGH. And I feel like I’m being SO obvious about it all. It’s honestly embarrassing. My other best friend keeps teasing me ‘bout it and tells me to just go for it, but that guy still hasn’t managed to ask out the girl he’s interested in, so, what does he know, right?’. And Sam laughs - at least he’s not alone.

So the days go by (Sam’s pining only increases, Steve took him to a wine tasting the other night and he almost... in his drunk state... almost... but he didn’t) until one day, while blog-guy and Sam are chatting, all of the sudden the blog-guy is like, ‘Shit, I think someone's breaking into my apartment’ and then like, ‘Okay, yes they are’ - and Sam's like, ‘call 911′, and blog-guy writes back ‘mmh think I can handle them’ (and Sam’s like ‘WTF... I know way too many people with zero regards for their own well-being, myself included’)

But then blog-guy is not answering anymore, so Sam frantically calls up Nat who rushes to his flat and Sam says: ‘You need to find out where that IP adress is located ASAP - the dude with that famous blog is in danger.’

And Nat does that multitasking thing where she’s working on the problem while ribbing Sam about the fact that, apparently, Captain America's Internet bestie is that famous blog dude, and- 'Are you sure it’s not a crush?'

But after another minute, Nat sighs and is like, ‘I can't find the location, this thing is encrypted af, it’s impossible.’ Suddenly, she notices something about the setup of the encryption and-, ‘Hang on a second, it was me who set this up for someone back in 2011.′ And as she slips on her jacket, she says to Sam, ‘Come on. I know where we have to go!’

So they make their way to what turns out is Steve's (!!!!) apartment and find him in the middle of a fight against over half a dozen heavily armed people, and yeah - he’s actually doing pretty okay for himself ‘cause he outsmarted a couple of them, but also- they kind of outnumber him, so Nat and Sam get to work.

And Sam doesn't even have time to fully register what that means re:blog-guy until they have successfully defeated the bad guys. After that's done, Steve is like, ‘Thanks guys, but how the hell did you know I was in trouble? Nat... you didn’t bug my apartment, did you??’

And Nat tstsk and then she just laughs because this is priceless and OF CoURSE it is Steve who is behind that blog... (she's a bit mad at herself for not figuring it out sooner, and a bit sad that Steve didn't feel like he could tell her, and that he assumes she has is flat bugged but, also,... kinda impressed.) But then she looks at him with a warm smile on her face, shaking her head, saying, ‘No, I didn’t, Steve.’ Her gaze wanders back and forth between Steve and Sam and she humms- 'That actually makes so much sense oh my god.' So, she leaves them ‘to talk’ ;) and for Sam to explain everything’ - and then it’s just the two of them.

And Sam does explain everything and is like, 'So you're that Blog dude, erm...' He's scratching the back of his neck, cheeks flushed, 'Turns out, we've been talking for months over that blog of yours. I'm (insert-Sam’s-username-here).'- and Steve's eyes go wide and you can literally see him processing that information right then and there and he's sputtering out a light laugh, and he's like 'Hang on a second... I... umm, okay, I gotta ask. So, that best friend you've got a crush on...' Well, it’s now or never -'Is you, yeah..', Sam admits and starts, 'and....' They both laugh again and Steve nods and just says- 'yeah, it’s you, too.'

And then they kiss and yaaay, happy ending!!!

And then the epilogue would be about them having a nice dinner with Bucky and Nat a couple of months later, and the whole time, Sam and Steve are being very much in loveTM. The three guys are standing in the kitchen, while Natasha is in the bathroom and Bucky's making a funny quib about how sickeningly cute Sam and Steve are together - and Sam, well, Sam just raises his eyebrows and is like, 'You know what, you're not allowed to say anything bout that, you and Romanoff have been acting waaaaay worse over the last year. At least we got our shit together in the end, what's your excuse, you are obviously absolutely in love with her!', and of course Nat chooses that exact moment to enter the room, hand on Bucky's waist, dropping a kiss on his cheek and is like, 'What do you mean, we've been dating for 6 months?' And Steve laughs and Sam groans bc .... he loves his friends, he does, but clearly, CLEARLY they ALL have to work on their communication skills!

The End.

[blint-cartoned]

@sambambucky​ : “pls... Pastels, Peaches and Pain??? among us first draft??? marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts (it’s not an au!?!??!)

hi jo !!! Pastels, Peaches, and Pain is one of those sambucky wips i have mostly fully fleshed out in my head because of one (1) extreme moment of clarity after a rogue ‘what if’ tangent thought but havent written anything of yet out of restraint / knowing i need to finish at least one of my current sambucky wips before i start it or none of them will get done

this was the rogue tangent thought: “what if Sam is haunted by Figaro’s ghost and has been since he was a kid?”. i’ve changed the ghost cat to not be Figaro but that’s the premise !

i refer to the fic as the cat fic ‘cause the whole plot is based around sam’s ghost cat companion insisting he adopts nat’s cat Liho after endgame and then Figaro later and then [insert redacted because plot spoilers but just know it relates to Alpine]. no im not projecting my feelings about cats idk what youre talking about 

here’s some note snippets just for you:

the cat, inexplicably, takes a liking to bucky, which is really annoying bc sam doesnt know how to explain to him that all the oddly soft gusts of wind are actually sam's dead cat insisting on getting pats

bucky getting shade thrown at him by said ghost cat during all of tfatws + them making up (and not out. yet)

starts when sam's a kid & follows him as he grows up w/ a ghost kitty as a companion only he can see & interact with + angst with an undertone of comedy + getting together

he whispers to ghost kitty, who simply mmrrs happily

for the among us first draft thing, what basically happened is i saw this tweet and this video and my brain latched onto these dynamics so hard i had to write about them. 

here’s a sketch of my two main imposters, Black (left) and Cyan (right):

and here’s a snippet:

The thing having Cyan pause and stare out at the asteroid field is how the colors stretch to family. When they and Black came aboard, they had thought every crewmember was an adult working on the planet-change project. That the patch of off-white with a black something-pattern-or-shape signified status. In a way, Cyan supposes it does, but just not the way they expected. They had expected it to show what rank an individual held within the hierarchy of the crew, from deckhand to division leader to captain, not to show that you're family of the crew and not actually part of the crew itself. 

There are innocents on this ship. Children. It was not something any of them had anticipated, and not something Cyan had been prepared to deal with. They and Black boarded this horrible place to eradicate a threat, believing each and single one of the humans were accomplishes and dedicated to the goal of destroying Cyan and Black's species, and their planet. But, now?

marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts... doesn’t have a wip title or seperate document for itself yet cause it’s been stuck in my ‘story ideas’ document since its creation. so ‘marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts’ is literally just me describing the vibe of an original world gjkerfkds

the world came to be for two reasons. firstly, i want to do make take on a superhero universe because the plot and complete lack of communication in both the dcu and mcu piss me the fuck off. secondly, needed a place to dump ocs with elaborate backstories or fantasy / sci-fi abilities that dont fit into any of my existing worlds

which sounds super competent but trust me, it isn’t. it didn’t gain any solidity at all until i decided to do a personal ‘how different can i make spn castiel look & still retain the same vibe?’ challenge. i have my own cas now

however, the reason i said ‘marvel meets...’ is because i’ve snagged a couple of different things from the mcu, most notably: enemies to reluctant coworkers to lovers, yes our best friend have the same name. no they’re not the same person, secret evil org is controlling the government, and the assassin that tried to kill you several times is now your best friend

warframe was added to the world because i got attached to my Volt build, gave them a name, and have some headcanons idk what to do with because i refuse to interact with that fandom. also because the friend i made through discussing warframe lore + plot dicked me over so it feels Bad to create for

the glue to this whole mess is that one “in every friend group there’s a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, a she/they, a he/they, a himbo, an astrology bitch, a short king, and a token straight” tumblr post. my main group of superheroes ala the avengers consist of these people. the token straight is the only one i havent figured out who is yet

ever since i figured that out ive been throwing story / character ideas and weirdly specific aesthetics from popular tumblr posts into this world’s notes. here’s some examples:

sword grandmas

that trope where someone’s really nice and acts super well-adjusted to society but then they do something super whack and dangerous and you realize ‘oh they’re secretly a little bit insane, actually’

anti-gay group’s leader’s wife leaves him for another woman

superhero who swore to be the best hero [city / planet / solar system / continent / ????] has ever seen ever since he lost his wife. not because she’s dead but divorce just sucks & the hero-to-be is terrible at coping

dishevelled swamp witch

that one person who runs around with an amulet all the time & isn’t aware it’s cursed

an exasperated, tired superhuman assassin running after their husband and their husband's best friend. their husband and said husband's best friend both have wings. chaos ensues (yes, this one is a sambucky post)

ask me about my WIPs!

BONUS:

@sambambucky​​ : #i want to have a coffee and listen to synopses of all of these.... #i miss the discord wow #WRITING TAG #waitttt time jumping dream movie? lmao I'VE READ THIS LIST FORTY TIMES and every time i rediscover something i wanna know about #outfit doodlesss ugh i need to go

couldnt not respond to your tags because they make me go ghrkjfnerknf but in the good way. we miss you too jo !!

the time jumping dream movie was one of the first vivid dreams i had and the whole thing was so stupidly coherent and whacky i had to write it down. it grew plot, a queer love dynamic, weird sci-fi apocalypse elements, anti-military propaganda, questionable science, and a sequel while i wasnt looking and now i just. have to make it a real movie or i’ll combust

outfit djoodlles.png is only on there because my best friend sent me a ‘draw this outfit’ meme and space kitty, my current character brainrot, stole all the outfits for himself. otherwise, that file just sits there until im feeling like designing an outfit or wanna see how a stupid thing looks on my oc patrick

here’s one of the two poses-to-doodle-outfits-on of space kitty ive made so far:

and here’s one of those stupid things on patrick (that then turned into an actual outfit of his because i have no self control):

[leonardhoee]

Why TROS (The Rise of Skywalker) is better than Endgame (AKA absolute trash)

SPOILER WARNING!!! SCROLL IF YOU HAVENT SEEN TROS

Ok so apparently there’s actually a debate about which is better. First of all. I acknowledge that TROS may not be the best Star Wars movie to ever come out but compared to the trash that endgame/Infinity War are it was 10000x better.

TROS did a pretty good job with character development. Even though I’m not happy that Ben died, he had a purpose. There was no other choice in that situation but to do what he did and his death was more bittersweet than acutely painful. They did a great job redeeming him and the moment he talked to Han Solo made me so emotional. 8.5/10. the ending was satisfying and it left room for fans to make their own headcannons about the future.

Just some of the best moments

Look at the difference from the beginning to the end. *chefs kiss

Meanwhile...

Endgame and IW:

Carol?: reduced to a deus ex machina

Thor?: a fat joke; has no purpose for even being there anymore since anyone can use his hammer now

Steve?: threw away his entire new life to go back to the past with Peggy

Tony?: dead when it should've been nebula who killed thanos and his abusive dad got redemption

Natasha?: JUST found a family and redemption and happiness but she sacrificed herself for no reason

Wanda: had her trauma erased and basically made to not be taken seriously by the audience when thanos said he didn't even know who she is. And that’s exactly what happened.

Loki?: died for ABSOLUTELY no reason other than drama; undid his redemption arc

Gamora?: proved the trope that in the end you won't escape your abuser

Black panther/ wakanda?: reduced to ash in .5 seconds after they were supposed to be this great advanced nation

Banner?: basically useless bc he can't bring out the hulk. This couldve been their moment to truly show what BANNER can do but no. Apparently he's nothing without the hulk

And that’s just some of the characters they fucked up

1) The movie perpetuated a lot of misogynistic stereotypes (can’t expect anything better from the Russo’s), reducing most of the female characters to emotional wrecks (Wanda, nat), deus ex machinas that are shelved for most of the movie (carol) sacrificial lambs (gamora, nat), and plot devices for male characters (Peggy). And they think adding one “token feminist scene” is going to cover up their horrid treatment of the women in the rest of the movie

2) It supported basically most of the abusers in the MCU. Showing Gamora being sacrificed supported the trope that you can never escape your abuser. Loki being violently murdered for no reason showed that you can only find redemption in death (even though he was already redeemed). And tony easily forgiving Howard supports the idea that no matter how bad they are, you should forgive your abuser because they’re family.

3) Thor was ridiculed throughout the movie, undoing everything Ragnarok did for his character development. It’s like that movie never even existed at this point. Instead of showing him healing from his trauma, his weight, mental health, and destructive coping mechanisms were made fun of by all the characters. Would tony stark ever actually mock Thor for alcoholism when he struggled with the same thing? Would Valkyrie seriously just leave him alone to drink and forget his pain when she went through the same thing?

4) Another thing is Mjolnir. I get that steve was able to lift mjolnir in the comics. However what exactly makes him worthy in the MCU? We know that Hela and Odin were able to use mjolnir and there’s a pattern there. People who are blood related to Thor are worthy of wielding mjolnir. That’s why loki was never able to lift it. So why is steve Rogers, a human, able to use it. And with lighting powers on top of that. After the way Thor was treated in the movie (basically being useless until the fight at the end) what is the purpose in him even being there if now even humans are able to summon lighting like he can?? Lightning is something only Thor can do. Not even Odin can do it. It doesn’t make sense with the logic they’ve established in the MCU.

5) Going back to loki. Ragnarok already finished his redemption arc. He was ready to go to earth with thor and the rest of the asgardians. He was finally being treated as an equal yet the Russo brothers decided to kill him pointlessly and violently before even the title credits. That’s just disrespectful they reduced him to a plot device for drama, to make thanos seem dangerous. Now, Looking at the scene. Thanos was literally ready to let him go. He did not need to die. Loki had to have known that attempt to kill him wouldn’t have worked after being tortured by thanos for so long. He can’t be killed by a dagger. Loki isn’t that dumb. And he’s not that selfless. He wouldn’t sacrifice himself for no reason especially when he could’ve walked away unscathed. His death scenes was one of the most unnecessary, gruesome, graphic deaths I’ve ever seen from marvel. It made me feel sick. The sound of his bone snapping seeing the blood running down his eyes was it. They could’ve done so much with this character but they chose to do this instead. Hopefully the Disney + show fixes his character arc.

Overall, my expectations were low for both movies. But endgame was the biggest disappointment to the marvel franchise I’ve ever seen. TROS was truthfully very satisfying and did everything endgame wishes it did.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I hope the sun will shine on us again.

[rorykillmore]

every time you mention villanelle from your rp verse, I want to know more

gfhgkfgh THANK YOU i don’t normally get to gush about her to people outside the group so lemme. pull my thoughts together.

i’ve been playing her there since late december 2018/early january 2019, so one of the unique challenges of like. Writing Villanelle Continuously Longterm is just... figuring out where her development can organically go while still feeling like her. ironically i feel i sort of ran into that question before the show even did. it’s been really interesting to tackle!

this is a panfandom setting, meaning in our case it’s kind of this like, multi-dimensional hub where people can bring in characters from virtually any fandom, which is why the characters i pair her with dynamic-wise are so seemingly random sometimes.

she has a best friend! fox mccloud, from the star fox series, played by @propheticnightwing. they worked for the same Shady Organization together, and then when things went south, fox refused to leave her behind, so. they are very important to each other. she nearly killed him recently. whoops.

she has, against absolutely all odds, bonded with a bunch of characters from rwby. namely because some early plots with ruby rose and weiss schnee (played by @mystoffelees and @transrobro) were like... super formative in teaching her basic empathy, and she kinda got involved with the rest of the cast from there. it’s probably one of the most interesting things development-wise that could have happened to her, because these girls are like. “save the world” type heroines who were fundamentally opposite of villanelle on almost EVERY moral level, at least at first, and it’s been really intriguing and insightful exploring that over the years.

also a product of her rwby involvement: she’s a maiden now.  rwby has these four (one for each season) super-powerful magical women called maidens, and when one maiden dies, her power transfers to the last woman she was thinking of before her death. the previous fall maiden was really horny for villanelle. so.

we’ve had a couple different people playing eve over the years. right now @mystoffelees does and they have, since january, been trying to make a relationship between them work! it’s been really really interesting to play because it brings up all kinds of questions about like. okay, so these people are and likely forever will be connected in an obsessive, consuming, indefinable, almost supernatural way that neither of them will ever really be able to understand. but what does that mean for a long term relationship? because if they only relied on that connection, i think it would consume them like wildfire, so just like... the effort both of them have actually had to put forward to love each other in a way that isn’t completely destructive, and how much being vulnerable challenges both of them in unique ways has been so completely fascinating and wonderful.

she also has a sort of love triangle happening at the moment with elizabeth comstock from bioshock, played by @spearitsandmonsters which has been so. SO constantly surprising, for me at least, because prior to that i honestly had very little idea of how to play villanelle with feelings for someone besides eve, and how that might manifest when it’s not fueled by obsession or that unique, deeply inherent connection and understanding they have. because i think that’s what drew villanelle to eve in the first place, so. what draws her to elizabeth? it’s something i could only really discover as it developed, and it’s been fantastically insightful and enlightening along the way.

we also have an absolutely wonderful konstantin played by @fizzlep0p. currently he and villanelle are kind of on the outs bc i bumped her canon point to include season 3 stuff, but they’re also starting a crime ring together, so you know. that checks out.

she is also very close with natasha romanoff (played by @firelxdykatara ) which i think everyone who knows the two characters can agree is undeniably meant to be. nat understood that villanelle had been shaped into a weapon from an early age before VILLANELLE did. villanelle also unarguably considers nat to be a Good Person which makes her hope that, maybe some day, in some life, she can be too.

this rp does monthly “glitches”, which basically means like, monthly character effects people can play with to make things more interesting. villanelle has been through a TON of them, and they’ve really shaped her development. she’s been compelled to only tell the truth, she at one point was forced to kill ruby’s tethered during the us(2019) glitch (her defining “kill that fucked villanelle up” a year BEFORE tatiana,),  she got to visit other worlds (kinda, it’s complicated), she’s had a bloodlust flu that left her totally out of control of her actions, she’s been completely robbed of her memories and left a total amnesiac, she’s in in - and died in - the hunger games, which left her with the lifelong trauma you might expect.

not to be like “i did Challenging Villanelle To Feel Things Via Trauma first, suzanne”, BUT LIKE!

she’s currently building (or technically, you know, paying to have built for her) a giant, impossibly expensive private desert mansion. you know. to cope. the eventual plan is to fill it up with her ragtag found family, because me and everyone involved are absolute suckers for wacky found family living situations.

also @nikopolastree is obsessed with trying to kill her every chance he gets and it’s ironically influenced a ton of her development too. he put eve & villanelle in a saw trap one time. it was awesome.

[iamanartichoke]

To kind of add on to that “are you excited about phase 4″ ask I got a few days ago, I think something that I have felt for quite awhile but haven’t known how to put into words is that, honestly, I feel like IW/Endgame really ruined the MCU as a cohesive universe, in addition to screwing over the characters and the stories. 

What I mean is, after Avengers 1, we had a pretty tight-knit, cohesive world where all of the connections made sense and allowed the characters to both function together as a team while realistically going off in their own directions to continue their solo stories. Each character who had a movie prior to Avengers 1 got a fleshed out background and a narrative that got rid of a lot of the convoluted tropes so rampant in comic books/superhero movies in general. That’s what used to set Marvel apart - that they took their time to really build up to Avengers and make the story as satisfying as possible. 

After that, not only did the OG Avengers continue on with their own stories, but Avengers also set up a narrative that allowed for spin-offs to simultaneously exist while also being autonomous stories - Agents of SHIELD was made possible due to the groundwork laid by Avengers, Coulson’s resurrection storyline was solid and believable (for this universe), there were tie-ins linking it to the main universe, including appearances by the movie characters, up to and including Nick Fury. When the Winter Soldier came out and SHIELD collapsed, AoS followed suit and became an even better show, while still staying true to its MCU roots. 

Simlarly, the Netflix shows took the audience on a super realistic view of what the every day world could and would look like post-Avengers, in that after the porthole closed and the aliens were defeated and the government agencies moved on, there were still regular, every day people who had to create a new normal. This normal closely resembled the old, in that these people still went to work, rode the subway, went out to eat, spent time with friends, experienced trauma, and so on and so forth, but with the caveat that everyone is aware that Strange Things Are Possible and Super Powers Are a Thing.The events of Avengers were referred to and shown to have an effect, as it would, but life goes on. Characters like Jessica Jones and Luke Cage showed us what happens when regular people - not gods, not billionaires, not government spies, just people - are thrust into situations that could happen every day, like theft, murder, betrayal, vendettas, and so on, but with superpowers. And the results were so, so engaging and satisfying, overall. 

Up through Age of Ultron and even Civil War, in that the Accords had ramifications on AoS and the Raft became a real threat for Jessica and for Luke. The movies and its spinoff shows were still very connected, even as they did their own thing. 

And then .... Infinity War happens. Setting aside my personal grievances with the film, what its plot basically does is set fire to the cohesive unit of story-telling that had been happening previously. Yes, the universe had been getting kind of large by this point, and more and more characters are being introduced/given movies, but it still more or less made sense. More suspension of disbelief was going on, probably, but it wasn’t too confusing. 

IW changes that. Thanos comes along with his plan to wipe out half the universe. Wakanda, which has only just revealed itself as a powerful nation to the world, becomes the site of a huge alien battle, much huger than the Battle of New York. 

Half of the universe literally turns to dust, with nobody knowing what the fuck has just happened. People living their every day lives suddenly have their friends and loved ones vanish into thin air, and no one knows why.

 The Battle of Wakanda goes largely unmentioned. AoS and the Netflix shows don’t even address these events. 

The Avengers either go their separate ways or hole up in the Compound, running some version of SHIELD. (No mention of what the AoS version of SHIELD is doing, especially since in that show’s canon, Coulson  made Mack director, but it’s implied in the main canon, Nat’s acting director since Fury got dusted, and Fury’s return in FFH implies he’s still very involved in SHIELD. So I guess the SHIELD in AoS is redundant, or ...? I honestly have no idea how they’re connected anymore.)

Five years pass. 

General Ross doesn’t show up, either during the passage of time or after the battle. There’s no mention of what’s happened to the President, or the government in general during this time. 

The Avengers decide they’re going to bring everyone back.

The Avengers Compound is blown up by an alien army and a massive battle follows. There’s not a peep from the government about this. 

The dusted people return without explanation. 

Five years have still passed. The Compound has been destroyed by aliens. No one seems very concerned about this. The dusted people go back to their regular lives. From what I understand, in FFH, Tony Stark/Iron Man is mourned, but that’s about the extent of the ramifications of all of this. 

Captain America is gone, but might have created a new timeline, but maybe he was in the main timeline all along, but is a new timeline the same as a new universe, so is the multiverse real? but no, Mysterio made up the multiverse to fuck with Spiderman, but something alternate has to exist bc the Ancient One specifically said that new timelines will be created if the stones are moved/changed, but but but - 

What I’m getting at here is, the further we get into the events of IW/Endgame, the less and less sense the overall story makes, not only in the films themselves but in setting a foundation for the Phase 4 movies. The MCU world is all kinds of fucked up now. There’s seemingly no explanation besides “that’s just how things are now” to explain how this whole convoluted mess works once the fancy explosions and fan service are over and the story has to continue.

And just like that, the MCU has become just as convoluted and outlandish as the genre stereotype it was originally trying to establish itself away from. For me, that’s the other side of the coin - yes, I am disappointed in the MCU and the decisions Marvel is making and how my favorite characters have been treated, but there’s also the fact that even if I was still invested in the new movies, I would be confused as all fuck about what story they’re even trying to tell at this point. 

It’s not fun if it doesn’t make sense, or if extensive mental gymnastics are needed to put it into some semblance of coherence. It’s not enjoyable to me. I’m here for good, solid stories and characters I care about. And it actually really, really bugs me that logic has been tossed in favor of narrative decisions made purely for shock value rather than genuine investment in telling a satisfying story. 

Which is also why I’m not excited for phase 4. 

[beauzoleils]

ABIGAIL  COWEN ,  CISFEMALE ,  SHE / HER    →   according  to  the  school  records ,  NATALIE  LUCILLE  BEAUSOLEIL  has  been  attending  sacred  heart  for  the  past  three  years .  i  last  saw  them   hanging  around  the  john  bracken  library  ;  i  think  they  were  working  on  writing  her  novel .  at  twenty - one  years  old ,  natalie  has  been  studying  english  literature  and  get  this ,  i   heard  that  she’ll  zone  out  while  writing  papers  for  class  and  come  to  surrounded  by  pages  and  pages  full  of  archaic  languages  she  doesn’t  speak   —   figure  it’s  true ?  everyone  around  here  always  associates  them  with  a  moonlight  sonata  echoing  through  empty  halls ,  seats  in  the  back  row  at  the  opera ,  and  dead  flowers  pressed  between  the  pages  of  an  old  book .  in  the  time  since  these  strange  happenings ,  they  have  encountered  unexplained  occurrences .     

HI ,  hello .  i’m  hannah  n  this  is  like .  the  only  thing  i’ve  been  thinking  about  recently ,  aka  i’m  so  excited .  ok  anyway !  i’m  20 ,  kickin  it  in  the  est !  i’m  a  full  time  student  ( majoring  in  being  a  dumb  bitch  n  gay  rights  and  i’m  at  the  top  of  my  class  baby . . )  and  i’m  ALSO  a  preschool  teacher  so  if  i’m  ever  Not  here ,  i’m  with  my  babies  ! !  but  that  isn’t  the  reason  why  ur  all  here . .   ur  here  for  an  intro  post !  so !  

let’s  talk  abt  my  girl . . .  𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐄  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐈𝐋 !

okay .  so .  first  thing’s  first .  i  have  some  Real  Things  prepared  for  my  girl ,  including  but  not  limited  to :

a  pinterest  board !

a  stats  page !

and  what  i  call  NATALIE :  A  TRAGEDY  IN  THREE  ACTS .  it’s  kind  of  a  bio ,  mixed  in  with  some  stage  directions  here  and  there .  it’s  a  quick  read  n  rly  gives  you  that  Natalie  Flavor  if  you  know  what  i  mean . .  so  if  you  feel  so  inclined  n  wanna  take  a  look . .  but  full  disclosure  it  rly  does  hit  different  than  just  reading  this  intro 

anyway !  i’ll  give  a  more  condensed  version  of  her  bio  here  n  some  info  abt  her  personality  n  some  random  headcanons . .  etc !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈 :  𝑨 𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀

alright  SO .  our  girl  natalie  was  born  on  april  13 ,  1952  to  michel  and  colette  beausoleil .  it  was  a  thursday ,  and  it  was  ALSO  eleven  weeks  before  colette’s  due  date ,  so  we  all  know  that  can’t  be  good 

( spoiler  alert :  it  wasn’t )

natalie  was  supposed  to  be  a  twin ,  but  the  other  baby  ( a  boy  named  pierre )  didn’t  survive .  they  didn’t  think  that  natalie  would ,  but  she did !  unfortunately ,  her  parents  were  too  wounded  by  the  loss  of  their  other  baby  and  it  was  all grieving  and  no  celebrating .  

also .  there’s  more  info  abt  her  parents  n  how  they  met  in  the  bio  but ,  a  sparknotes  version  is  that  michel  was  a  playwright  in  paris  and  colette  was  a  ballerina / his  muse  and  they  rushed  into  a  marriage 

michel  made  it  rly  big  a  couple  yrs  after  natalie  was  born  and  so  they  decided  to  use  that  $ $ $  to  send  natalie  away  to  an  expensive  boarding  school  in  london  called  our  lady  of  sacred  suffering .  it  was ,  of  course ,  a  catholic  girls  boarding  school  and  natalie  hated  it  there

but  they  hated  natalie  there  bc  she  was  just  the  WORST  catholic  school  girl  of  all  time ,  so  it  was  mutual

meanwhile ,  her  relationship  w  her  parents  is . .  very  complicated .  her  dad  is  just  kind  of  The  Worst  across  the  board ,  very  reliant  on  drinking ,  definitely  got  into  drug  use  at  some  point ,  had  lots  of  affairs  with  the  young  actresses  in  his  plays .  and  colette  was  just . .  very  sad  and  very  absent  so  the  support  was  Minimal

natalie  has  a  lot  of  issues  that  are  all  rooted  in  her  childhood  tbh .

somewhere  along  the  way ,  she  found  a  deep  passion  for  Writing  and  developed  this  sense  of  purpose  and  for  a  minute  things  were  going  very  well 

which  we  all  know  means  things  are  about  to  get  WORSE . 

on  her  eighteenth  birthday ,  natalie  receieves  a  card  in  the  mail  from  her  mother  for  the  First  Time  Ever .  and  she  immediately  is  like .  huh .  well .  something  is  Wrong .

she’s  right .

( tw :  nondescript  mentions  of  car  crashes  &  death )

a  week  later ,  she  receives  word  that  her  parents  were  involved  in  a  serious  car  accident  at  the  pont  de  l’alma  tunnel  in  paris  and  her  did  not  survive  the  accident .

( end  tw )

her  mother’s  family  is  not  convinced  that  michel  should  walk  away  from  this  without  blame  and  decides  to  take  legal  action  against  him  and  get  him  convicted  with  a  more  serious  charge  than  just  manslaughter . 

they  promise  to  keep  natalie  out  of  it  as  much  as  possible  but  when  it  comes  time  to  testify  as  to  whether  or  not  michel  had  a  history  of  not  caring  about  colette’s  life  and  well - being ,  the  only  one  who  can  speak  to  it  is  natalie .

so  she  testifies  and  it’s  her  testimony  that  is  the  metaphorical  nail  in  the  coffin .  

( tw :  suicide  mention )

michel  knows  it ,  too .  that’s  what  natalie  thinks .  he  turns  up  dead  in  his  jail  cell  the  day  before  he’s  supposed  to  be  sentenced .  she  never  knows  if  he  deserved  the  life  sentence  he  was  going  to  be  given .

( end  tw ) 

so  then !  she’s  an  orphan !  but  she  does  gain  control  over  everything  that  her  parents  left  behind ,  which  turns  out  to  be  a  lot .  

she  sells  their  house  in  paris ,  goes  to  wales  to  begin  university ,  and  hasn’t  gone  back  since  then .  but  like ,  she  grew  up  in  london  for  the  most  part  so  she’s  not  exactly  sad  about  being  away  from  paris  and  all  the  ghosts  there .

and  now  she’s  at  sacred  heart ,  working  on  writing  her  debut  novel ,  which  is  the  ( albeit ,  dramatized  and  fictionalized )  story  of  her  parents !

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈 :  𝑨  𝑺𝑼𝑴𝑴𝑨𝑹𝒀 .

so  basically ,  she’s  got  issues .

fictional  character  inspo  includes :  jo  march ,  alaska  young ,  cheryl  blossom

if  you  know  anything  abt  astrology . .  she’s  an  aries  sun ,  mercury ,  and  venus . .  and  a  scorpio  moon  and  mars . .  and  a  gemini  rising . .  i’m  so  sorry JKDSFM

she’s  very  emotional  but  does  a  super  good  job  of  hiding  it  and  keeping  all  those  emotions  ( esp  the  intense  n  darker  ones )  buried  away . .  deep  down  where  no  one  could  see  it

the  minute  that  ppl  kind  of  ? ?  but  two  and  two  together  n  realize  who  she  is  ( bc . .  in  my  head . .  her  dad’s  whole  trial  was  kind  of .  A  Thing  that  the  public  knew  abt . )  they’re  probably  rly  concerned  w  Little  she  shows  any  real  emotion  to  the  whole  thing . 

rly  she’s  just  the  queen  of  compartmentalizing  n  repressing !

she’s  very . .  Assertive .  like ,  when  she  wants  something  she’s  going  to  do  whatever  it  takes  to  get  her  way  

very  Very  reckless .  she’s  like . .  so  fucking  impulsive  that  it  physically  Pains  me  sometimes .

she’s  very  smart  but  like .  More  So ,  she’s  very  clever  and  very  sharp  with  her  words .  a  very  fast  thinker  and  a  very  loud  talker 

someone  please . .  tell  her  to  stop  yelling .  she  needs  to  Relax . 

she’s  very  charming  i’ll  say  it .  n  like ?  seems  cool ?  the  kind  of  person  that  you  meet  and  immediately  want  to  hang  out  w  them .  

very  flirty ,  has  always  used  that  charming  smile  of  hers  to  get  ppl  in  her  corner  and  she’s  not  gonna  stop  now !  she’s  very  good  at  making  ppl  feel  special  

but  like .  she  means  well  most  of  the  time  sdkfj  her  heart  is  in  the  right  place  okay

big  time  trust  issues .  big  time  commitment  issues .  painfully  independent  and  refuses  to  let  anyone  know  how  much  she  cares  about  them  until  she’s  like . .  Really  sure  that  they  aren’t  going  to  hurt  her

also  very  afraid  of  hurting  people ,  which  is  another  reason  why  she  struggles  to  get  attached  to  people .  she  definitely  has  this  deep - rooted  fear  that  Bad  Things  follower  her  and  she  doesn’t  want  to  drag  ppl  into  that

it’s  literally  a  toss - up  as  to  whether  she’s  going  to  seem  like  she’s  demanding  ur  attention  or  entirely  disinterested  in  it .  bc  she’s  all  over  the  place . 

but  like .  i’m  an  emotional  BITCH  so  she’s  probably  going  to  end  up  being  100000%  softer  than  i  intend  bc  i  project  too  much  soft  bitch  energy  onto  my  characters  Always .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓  𝐈𝐈𝐈 :  𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺 .

so  many  things .  literally ,  anything .  just  a  disclaimer ,  if  u  read  thru  this  and  had  An  Idea  then  like .  yes  Pls  tell  me ,  i  want  it  xoxo 

but  here  are  some  i  have  up  in  the  old . .  noggin .

EXES .  please ,  please . .  for  the  love  of  GOD  give  me  some  angsty  exes  nonsense .  do  you  need  someone  who  broke  ur  characters  heart ?  consider  natalie  UR  GIRL .  she’s  Emotionally  Damaged  and  has  the  capacity  to  be  the  angstiest  ex  of  all  time ,  okay ?

give  her  a  weakness .  she  needs  someone  who  she’s  Actually  vulnerable  around  and  actually  sees  her  have  emotions  and  knows  she’s  not  just  this  huge  Mess  all  the  time

i  rly  want  someone  that  is  like .  from  the  same  ( ish )  bg  as  her  in  the  sense  that  like . .  they  also  were  surrounded  by  nice  clothes  n   expensive  private  schools  n  Luxury  but  like .  they  Thrive  in  it  the  way  natalie  used  to  wish  that  she  could .  n  just .  i  think  it  would  b  a  super  interesting  dynamic  bc  they  would  just !  clash !  so  intensely ! !  n  tbh  nat  would  probably  b  lowkey  jealous  Still  n .  spicy !

@ all  those  ppl  who  are  into  theatre :  i’m  Dying  for  some  connections  of  ppl  who  knew / knew  of  her  father  n  would  know  what  happened  w  him  perhaps  on  a  deeper  level  than  ppl  who  read  it  in  the  newspaper  a  few  yrs  ago . .  ( bonus  points  if  they  lowkey  idolized / looked  up  to  her  dad  bc  thats  a  Big  Mess  and  could  b  spicy  as  fuck  to  explore ,  u know ? ) 

idk  if  any  of  y’all  have  characters  who  grew  up  in / around  paris ?  but  if  there  are . .  then  Perhaps  someone  who  knew  her  in  her  youth ?

okay .  not  to  be  Trash  but  like .  i  rly  want  her  to  have  a  dynamic  that’s  jo  x  laurie  adjacent ?  do  they  have  to  be  in  love  w  her ?  no !  i  just  want someone  that  has  that  genuine  bond  w  her  and  they  care  abt  each  other  n  goof  around  n  like . .  i’m  already  getting  soft  on  main ,  huh , ,

she’s  soo  fucking  messy  that  like . .  all  the  messy  fwb / frenemies  with  benefits / one  night  stand  type  of  plots . .  yes  pls 

i  always  want  there  to  b  a  badass  girl  squad  like .  a  group  of  ladies  n  theydies  that  take  no  shit  n  get  in  fights  for  each  other  n  rly  truly  ride  or  die  w  each  other . .  we  can  workshop  the  name  ok  but  for  now ?  my  girl  squad  is  open  for  applications 

okay .  let  me  cut  myself  off  right  there  but  i’ll  leave  you  with  my  WANTED  CONNECTIONS  TAG  n  also  again  i’m 10000%  okay  to  just  brainstorm  out  something  else  completely  if  its  what  ur  feeling !

if  u  read  all / any  of  this . .  i  love  u . <3  either hmu on discord ( let's go 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝒷𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓈 ! #6227 ) ksdjfskm  OR !  like  this  n  i  will  come  to  u !  okay ,  that’s  all ,  bye 

[papistark]

Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.

*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)

so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again

This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw

now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!

Overall

this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!

I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty

all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back

Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW

Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us

TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!

I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...

Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha

Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.

I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE

We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.

AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.

All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well

Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess

ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)

Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch

also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!

Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living

That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot

THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE

Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP

Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit

Highs

morgan

H.

fucking

stark

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO

DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!

TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.

speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering

btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO

also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip

Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.

Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!

The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!

I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.

And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)

Lows

Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in

Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.

So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we

"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.

Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.

No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok

That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.

Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.

All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.

It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao

The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.

Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.

:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.

If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!

[bagelbite]

so my thoughts on endgame

yes this does contain spoilers and yes, i will continue to tag any of my spoilers as “endgame”

did i hate the movie? no. it had many very good moments that i will list before i list the problems i had with it

i LOVED all of the humor like they did that so well. like when steve was fighting his younger self and young steve says “i can do this all day” and now steve goes “yeah i know” in this just tired voice. and americas ass. and all of the jokes about rocket being a raccoon. and hulk taking pictures with the kids and then when rocket and hulk were sitting in the back of the truck. when tony threatened to sell all of morgans toys. korg playing fortnite. the whole scott coming back the wrong age bit. hulk having to walk down the stairs. when tony told steve that if he dropped the shield one more time he was gonna keep it. like there were so many parts that were just so funny and i loved it.

i loved all the tender moments. that little moment of friendship between nat and steve where she calls the avengers her family. i was SOBBING when tonys daughter was revealed and at literally every interaction between them. the fact that tony wasnt even going to build the time machine until he saw peters picture and thw fact that he had peters picture at all. tony telling nebula “you won” and her freezing bc shes probably never heard that before. the fact that both nat and clint refused to let the other one die (which was the truest form of love i have ever seen, not romantic but just genuine platonic love. also not that bullshit thanos called love for the very same stone). the moment when clint was looking around for his family and couldnt find them so he was just running back and forth not knowing what to do. im not even going to mention tony and peter’s reunion or goodbye because i was sobbing like a child the entire time. quill thinking for a second that gamora was back. when pepper told tony “we’re going to be okay” and you think she means the world and humanity but she really means her and morgan. the entire interaction between tony and his dad. there were so so many parts that just hit me so hard.

i loved all the heroic parts. carol showing up outside the ship with tony and nebula. steve standing up with his shredded sheild, still fighting on. the fact that steve can fUCKING WEILD THORS HAMMER LIKE BRUH. also that sick combo he did with the sheild and the hammer. the hail hydra moment because steve is so incredibly smart and knows how to work a situation. all of those bad ass women gathering to fucking destroy thanos. the circle opening up and revealing tchalla and shuri and okoye walking out, silhoutted by the light and the wakandan battle cry. the fact that the canons recognized that carol was the largest threat around and firing at the atmosphere to try and stop her and she just fucking rips through them like nothing. carol beating the shit out of thanos and him having to literally hold the power stone in his hand to beat her. that moment where you see all of the heros lined up ready to fight. “i am iron man”.

obviously there are more of every moment, and i loved all of them.

but.

that doesnt mean that i liked the movie. and heres why:

1) thor’s literal character assassination. i reblogged a few posts (that you can find in my endgame tag) that explain this better than i will be able to but bruh. the russo brothers did thor so fucking dirty and it makes me pissed. they made him fat purely for the laughs (which someone pointed out an emphasis on the fact that they literally edited his weight out of the trailers because they wanted to use it as a gag in the movies). also, they blatently ignored and made fun of the fact that thor OBVIOUSLY was grieving and blamed himself for how things had turned out. he has lost literally everything in his life: his home, his father and mother, his brother, his best friend - and now the man who wiped out half of the human population taunted him with his mistake of not going for the head. also, thor literally just went through the whole process of realizing his true power and sacrifing his home in order to protect his people and youre going to tell me that he just decides “mmm imma go to space and leave you all here youre fine without me” like no. also please read this post it makes me so mad its so true.

2) the whole time travel plot. to me it didnt seem well thought out and it leaves so many plot holes. like if removing a stone can create another timeline, i dont think putting the stone back fixes anything. you have still technically created another time line. and like what happened to loki we saw him disappear wouldnt that be another time line??? and like if 2012 or 2014 or whatever thanos came to the present, then wouldnt that create another time line?????? and if steve stayed behind, then thats a whole other time line. like it just doesnt make sense there are so many things that do. not. work. (sidenote: thanos said the infinity stones were reduced to atoms. wouldnt that be reversable by scott and shrinking down into the quantum realm??? this is just an idea)

3) it was predictable. there were SO many times that i was able to tell what was going to happen before it did. like clints family vanishing. and scott finding an older cassie. and scott being turned into a bunch of different ages. and tony saying no and then saying yes. even tony weilding the gauntlet was predictable (i just refused to think about it bc i didnt want to see tony die).

4) steve staying in the past. now im going to preface this saying that im not trying to say that steve didnt deserve it. he did and im happy for him (since this is what the russo brothers have decided to make permanent). steve did deserve happiness and i will even say that he deserved peggy. but. that doesnt mean thats what he should have done. it was out of character for steve (not as bad as thor but still out of character). he would have recognized that the world needed him in the now and he wouldnt have been able to just stay in the past. like steve’s biggest character flaw is that he cant just sit by and do nothing, he always has to act. so now out of no where he just decides that hes gonna screw over everyone in the present and stay behind. like he knows they just lost tony AND nat, two of the og avengers, and hes just gonna decide to leave them hanging without another person???? and hes just going to sit by knowing that bucky is out there being tortured??? ALSO i am absolutely not saying that any part of his talk with sam was unnecessary. i even love the fact that he gave the sheild to sam (black captain america is my shIT HELL YES I AM HERE FOR IT). but. there is no way that steve “even when there was nothing i had bucky” rogers wouldnt say anything to bucky. and i saw someone saying “well they obviously talked off screen” bitch i dont care there are probably thousands of off screen things that happen and thats why we have fanfiction. but the on screen stuff matters and steve just ignores bucky entirely?????? no he fucking doesnt the russo brothers are just afraid to encourage any more interaction between steve and bucky because they fear stucky fans. and im not even saying this as a stucky fan im literally saying it as a marvel fan who knows the smallest amount of steve’s character.

5) tony creating his worst nightmare. tony has said multiple times that he blamed his dad for leaving him and it only makes sense that he would fear having a kid and then leaving them alone. and the russo brothers did just that. they gave tony the life he always wanted and then ripped him from it, creating tonys nightmare at the same time. he has now subjected morgan to live a life like he did, without a father. now personally i dont think tony should have died. did i predict that he was since infinity war (bc of rdj’s contract ending and also it will be very difficult to continue the “next generation” with these huge figures still around), yes. and i know that its unrealistic for everyone to survive in war but so is fucking time travel and they pulled that card. idk i just dont like how they did it.

so overall, i think i loved a lot of the overall moments on film, its just that i didnt like the themes, messages, and character delieveries shown in the movie. im just gonna go watch winter soldier and ragnarok and homecoming and captain marvel and black panther and all the other Actually Good marvel movies.

[boasamishipper]

endgame review (spoilers!!!)

okay so now that i’ve finally stopped crying and had a good night’s sleep here are all of my thoughts on avengers endgame:

things i liked:

the opening scene with clint losing his wife and kids -- my heart was in my throat the whole time; i felt so so bad for him

nebula and tony bonding

steve getting rid of that beard like thank god

tony and pepper reuniting

tony FINALLY telling steve off for everything; as a lifelong tony stan this was super cathartic

scott reuniting with cassie; in fact, all of scott’s scenes were awesome

bonus - the fact that the only reason any of this was able to happen was because a rat accidentally turned the machine back on

the fact that tony got married to pepper!!! and had a daughter!!! he was such a good dad to baby morgan i loved it

carol’s new haircut  👌 👌 👌

tony looking at peter’s picture  😭 😭😭

“shit :)”

“i love you 3000″

all of the time travel scenes. did the rules make sense? nope. did i love seeing the crew go back in time to all of the previous avengers movies and see their past selves and fuck around with the timeline? absolutely.

going off that -- getting to see all the minor characters like jane and frigga and hank was awesome. i loved the entire time heist plot.

loki making fun of cap by transforming into him

“hail hydra” followed by that smirk (and the fact that they made fun of the whole hydra!cap thing was awesome)

the cap vs cap fight

thor getting to talk to his mother

tilda swinton’s character and bruce talking. seeing her again was def a surprise.

nebula and gamora talking and teaming up to fuck thanos over. karen gillam was great in this film.

tony getting to talk to his father (and the fact that the code name he used was howard potts like??? i cry)

“we’re a long way from budapest” be still my 2013 clintasha heart

the new infinity gauntlet being made out of tony’s iron man hand

the fact that they brought everyone back without fucking up the timeline. i was so worried they’d have to erase tony’s kid from existence but they didn’t so thank god.

steve wielding mjolnir. ngl that was pretty cool.

EVERYONE COMING BACK!!! (i knew it was coming. everyone knew it was coming. but it was still great to see.)

steve saying “avengers assemble”

PETER AND TONY’S REUNION!!! (i waited an entire fucking year for this and it was WORTH IT)

PEPPER FIGHTING ALONGSIDE TONY!!! HOPE FIGHTING ALONGSIDE SCOTT!!! battle couple goals :D

“hey peter parker”

“i am inevitable.” “i am...iron man.” S O B B I N G

tony’s death. like am i sad that tony died??? 150%. but it made narrative sense, he got to be happy with his kid and pepper (for however brief of a time), he found the loophole in time travel that allowed him to save everybody, and he dusted thanos. “you can rest now.”  😭😭😭 a fitting ending for the strongest avenger.

the entire funeral scene. the viking funeral wreath thing with the “proof tony stark has a heart” on it??? GOOD SHIT. i was bawling.

happy and morgan. that kid’s going to have happy wrapped around her little finger.

tony’s final message

the thorkyrie scene (even if i didn’t like what was being said i’m glad they shared some screentime.)

harley coming back!!!

sam becoming captain america (THANK GOD)

the end credits with rdj (the man who singlehandedly made the mcu amazing) being billed last. the theater was cheering and crying at the same time and it was amazing.

the final bit at the end with the noise from tony making his first suit. 😭😭😭

things i didn’t like:

the way they treated thor. taika made thor so amazing in ragnarok and the russos (and the screenwriters) got jealous and shit all over it!!! wtf!!! (and all of the fat jokes and jokes about his ptsd were NOT cool. didn’t like rocket slapping him out of his panic attack either.) can’t believe they made him an alcoholic who sits on his ass and plays fortnite all day. wtf.

for that matter -- i CANNOT believe that he would just up and fuck off with the guardians of the galaxy and abandon his people. is valkyrie a worthy leader??? absolutely. but so is thor!!! that was his entire arc in endgame like WTF!!!! (also the fact that we didn’t get a thorkyrie kiss is fucking CRIMINAL)

also why couldn’t he keep the short hair??? why did he have to get mjolnir back when taika went to all the trouble of showing he didn’t need the hammer to be a hero? did they just want to fuck up EVERYTHING that taika did?

the ending for steve. ‘nuff said.

no you know what? i’m going to go into this further. do i like steve? no. i never have. his actions toward tony in civil war put him on my shitlist forever, and that’s all i am willing to say about that. but you expect me to believe that steve fucking rogers (who KNEW that peggy moved on, lived a good life and had a husband and kids) really went back and fucked up the timeline just to be with her? he barely knew her!! they barely bonded in the first avenger at all!! also there are so many plotholes with how in the world he managed that (what happened when the other cap woke up from the ice???) also does this mean that his ‘romance’ with sharon is technically incest??? and did he just live out the rest of his life with peggy knowing that bucky was being tortured by hydra? insert “it’s bad writing” gif here.

(i am glad that he passed the shield onto sam though. bucky would have been a terrible choice for captain america.)

ALSO. you know who would have been a better choice to go back in time and live the rest of their life with the people that they loved and could not be with due to reasons outside their control? CAROL MOTHERFUCKING DANVERS. let her go back in time and live a happy life with her wife and kid. #carolmaria4evr

the fact that natasha died instead of clint. i literally cannot fucking believe that they fridged the first female avenger just for clint’s (and everyone’s) man pain. it was bad enough when they fridged gamora for thanos’s man pain. clint should have died in nat’s place and the fact that he didn’t is a huge fucking cop out and that’s the that on that.

for that matter -- clint’s entire storyline prior to going back in time was WILD. his only explanation for killing all those people was “thanos snapped half the universe and you didn’t die so imma kill you.”  FUCKING WHAT????

the fact that the russos are patting themselves on the back for their “woke lgbt rep” that was actually just a “leave for the bathroom and miss it” extra. you know what would have been better? a stucky ending. a sambucky ending. carol going home to monica and maria. valkyrie kissing a girl. ANYTHING would have been better than that.

speaking of carol -- she was CRIMINALLY underused in this movie. she was barely shown mourning fury (and also!!! why did we get no confirmation about monica and maria????) and barely spoke to the team in general. i thought she was going to have a major role (and would help them go back in time) but she didn’t and that disappointed me.

did i like the fact that she destroyed thanos’s fleet? yes. but i wish she was used more. she’s the most powerful avenger ever!!! and i wish that she got to speak more with tony as they’re friends in the comics.

(BRIE LARSON IS AN ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS AND THEY BARELY USED HER!!! LIKE WTF)

i won’t even get into the makeup thing bc that’s already been said and done. actually no i will. there was no reason for her to have perfect hair and lipstick and makeup. that’s not who she is. please let butch ladies continue to be butch please and thank you.

the fact that they didn’t bring gamora and natasha back :(

this might be controversial but i didn’t love the fact that pepper and tony suddenly retired to a lakehouse and became stay at home parents. i was totally expecting pepper and tony to keep running stark industries and make it into a charity organization that helped people in need/those affected by the snap.

the fact that they never fucking explained how time travel worked and WHY they couldn’t just go back and kill thanos as a baby (that was a good suggestion!). and the thing where nebula shot her past self and somehow lived??? it made no sense. i mean. i know it’s bad writing. but i was expecting it to be at least a LITTLE better. where are my explanations.

speaking of bad writing -- did the avengers ever come out and say the reason that everyone got dusted? did everyone know it was bc of thanos? why are some places in such states of disrepair and others are not? who ruled wakanda since shuri and t’challa were dusted? so many unanswered questions. rip.

the directing of the final battle was on par with the throne room battle scene in the last jedi in that both are chaotic and messy and that’s the that on that. as was the scene where hawkeye was beating up the yakuza. messy. lame. yawn.

the scene with all of the female superheroes. was it cool? sure. do i wish natasha could have been there? YES. do i wish that the mcu had more female superheroes? DOUBLE YES. was it a blatant attempt for the russos to pat themselves on the back and be like “sEE!! WE’RE FEMINISTS!!! LOOK AT US!!”?? definitely.

honestly, i was expecting the acting to be way worse than it was based on how all my mutuals were going off about it. overall, though, it was clear in some scenes that the actors had no idea what the context of their lines were and the acting was pretty meh throughout, and for the biggest marvel movie of the year the acting should be a damn sight better than “meh”. but this just reinforces what i know already, which is that the russos are shitty directors. get them as far away from the mcu as possible please and thank you.

things i wish we got:

a carolmaria reunion

a peter&may reunion

a fury&everyone (and esp a fury&carol reunion)

clint sacrificing himself instead of nat sacrificing herself

valkyrie talking to thor about overcoming alcoholism and ptsd

thor staying in new asgard with his people

steve going back and dancing with peggy like he promised and THEN going back to the future (where all of his friends are) and retiring or helping fury bring back shield.

better writers

better directors

an end credits scene that set up phase 4 (tho i assume we will be getting that in spiderman far from home)

tldr - thor got fucked over. tony is a hero and the love of my life. steve shouldn’t have gone back in time to be with peggy. nat shouldn’t have been fridged. the writing was meh and the directing was worse. not the complete and utter shitshow i was expecting, but not the so-called greatest movie in the mcu. give rdj an honorary oscar. 6/10.

[laudatenium]

scattered endgame thoughts

tony - am i happy it happened?  no.  do i think it had to happen? also no.  it was well done i’ll admit, and i know rdj has said that he wanted tony to go out with a bang.  but like i didn’t want tony either dying or retiring.  he’s iron man, he’s an avenger.  tony is supposed to live his life as an avenger.  i cried a lot over tony, and kept on bursting into tears for a few hour after.  the sound of the hammer at the end was so visceral i sobbed.

steve - @RUSSOS MCU STEVE ISN’T WORTHY WHAT THE FUCK yall did him dirty dirty dirty this was why evans cries all the time bc hes not allowed to show any character development.  they made him so selfish and static and i cried angry tears.

thor - like i have perceived thor’s whole - very choppy - character arc to be about both balancing being himself while also learning his responsibility as a leader.  in theory i love the idea of depicting realistic grief/depression/other mental issues, but this?  it wasnt presented as sad and tragic, it was presented as a joke.  and now he’s off to smoke space weed with the guardians.  taika im so sorry all your work to waste

valkyrie - poor bitch still don’t got a name.  great that she’s in charge officially now, but wouldn’t it be great if he had handed off power to her and was like “now my queen what can i do to help” like letting her lead but staying as like general and not inviting himself on a space road-trip

clint - that murderous rampage???  why did he do it???  no one knows especially not the russos.  also he was just slaughtering mexican and japanese people??? 

nat - that affected me more than i thought it would when i read the spoilers.  did i feel like it was in character? ya.  but like with tony, it didn’t have to happen.  the rest of the film felt weirdly empty without her, which is weird bc nat while being a central character has never been an emotional heavyweight for me.  but i felt her absence strongly in the last fight.  she was supposed to be there.  but hey thanks for letting scarjo actually act for once

bruce - uhhh so bruce and hulk just . . . figured out their differences?  two movies of struggling with it and they just figured it out off screen huh and is he working in a diner making pancakes and tacos now??  but yay for bruce the scientist stuff

scott - i like scott the more i see him.  he’s great comic relief while retains some seriousness.  the scene with him searching for cassies name on those blocks was heartbreaking

rhodey - WHERE WAS MY RHODEY CONTENT

nebula - not gonna lie, i wanted more of her with tony, and i wanted to see her soften up a bit more, but nebula was fantastic

rocket - fucking spectacular you funky little trash panda

rest of the guardians - so the plot of GotG Vol 3 is gonna be getting gamora back?? with thor being obnoxious in the background??

pepper - ngl pepper isn’t my favorite, but her portrayal was good (GP rot in hell tho!)  i’m happy pepper finally was able to come to terms with the fact that tony IS iron man and that it’s not some weird addiction

morgan - i love morgan 3000

debrief scene w/ tony - hey now this is what fics are made of

5 years later steve and natasha - kinda like it?  steve coming over to do his laundry is the most “guy still in his 20′s thing” they’ve let him do

cabin scenes - beautiful, but felt so bittersweet.  like tony and pepper where hiding Morgan away from the world to protect her or something, and no one better say that tony was handling their loss any better than the rest he just had more good things than the others (also when tony’s upset he throws himself into his work - so he threw himself into being a dad)

thor in new asgard - noooooooooooo what

them lying on the table while brainstorming - THAT WAS ALL I WANTED WHAT THE FUCK GIMME THAT GOOD SHIT

2012 scene - loved this shit.  you could tell they had fun with that

1970 scene - love the idea, but like. steve mooning over peggy, tony reconnecting with howard, eh.  PERFECT place to have steve apologize about not telling tony but hey lets forgive toxic dads first.

vormir scene - well done, in character, but again: why did it HAVE to happen that way

final battle - marvel fight scenes are crappy to me always. but this one had some good shit, like the “core three” fight, arrival of the dusted people, and of course tony’s end scene

tony’s funeral - the “proof tony stark has a heart” made me almost hysterical

end scene - so fucking jarring.  character loop is right.  calls a ton of shit into question.  makes mcu steve a total garbage human.  samcap was the ONLY redeeming quality.  and I haven’t seen anything about it, but what about bucky in that scene?  like did he know?  have he and old steve been getting coffee together?  or did steve tell him about his plan before going back? he was completely unsurprised like he KNEW that would happen

logical flow is super important and all the time travel shit make me froth at the mouth.  what are the repercussions of what they did no one knooooows

like i really want to know what the actors were thinking.  they can’t say anything bad in public ofc, but @evans how do you REALLY feel

but just remember friends no one stays dead in marvel except uncle ben and bucky 8/

[softbutchenergy]

kelly’s actual extended wishlist (≖ᴗ≖✿)

if any of these sound appealing to u, either like this post or slide in my messages and we can plot something out!! i rp on discord and on tumblr, and am down for about anything so -- here we gooo!

faces i want to play

nat wolff

alex wolff

camila cabello

normani kordei

hailee steinfeld

amandla stenberg 

laura harrier

eileen kelly

lily rose depp

alisha boe

shawn mendes

timothee chalamet

lily collins

kiersey clemmons

any skam fcs !!!

plots & ships i’m dying for are under the cut !!!

ships i need

camila cabello x any female fc

amandla x nick robinson

lily rose depp x timothee chalamet

eileen kelly x nick robinson

amandla x any female fc

camila x normani

camila x lauren

shawn mendes x camila cabello

shawn mendes x alisha boe

king princess x amandla 

nat wolff x anyone

alex wolff x anyone lol

josefine frida pettersen x lisa teige

henrik holm x tarjei sandvik moe

taissa farmiga x evan peters

naomi scott x bridgit mendler

madelaine petsch x camila mendes

plots ( a lot of the og posts for these are from deactivated blogs so imma just copy and paste some !! )

anything angsty that will hurt the both of us

road trips !!!

something based off i don’t smoke and i bet on losing dogs by mitski

a star is born kinda plot (but also based off chesapeke by better oblivion community center)

anything based off stuck in love

anything based off of any ship in skam, parks and rec, how i met your mother, new girl, or girls :’)

single mother/father plots <3

this small town girl who lives in a small ass town by the sea and who has basically never set foot outside the town but who loves it there bc she loves the sea more than anything else and she honestly doesn’t know a lot about the outside world but she really doesn’t seem to care and then comes in the big city boy who has spent his entire life downtown and who absolutely hates nature and who spends most of his time listening to underground music and thinking that he’s cool bc he reads obscure books but then his parents catch him partying too much and doing drugs a couple of times so they ship him off to his “crazy” aunt’s house which happens to be in the small town that the girl lives in. and at first he kind of tries himself with the girl bc he’s bored and he plans on getting out of that hole as soon as possible but  she rejects him and that’s the first time that it happens to him and he gets rlly insulted so the two of them start bickering and arguing and fighting all the time and maybe at one point that turns into some kind of romance/friendship in which the girl shows the boy to appreciate the sea and the boy shows the girl a bit of the outside world 

I NEED A PLOT WHERE MUSE A AND MUSE B HAD BEEN DATING FOR LIKE 3 YEARS AND IT WAS REALLY HELLA SERIOUS BUT ONE DAY MUSE A JUST UP AND LEAVES BECAUSE SHE GETS SCARED OF THE COMMITMENT AND ALL OF THAT AND THEN LIKE THREE MONTHS AFTER SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM IT’S POURING DOWN RAIN AND SHE SHOWS UP AT HIS DOOR STEP COMPLETELY SOAKED TO THE BONE AND SHIVERING AND SHE’S PROBABLY GOING TO GET A COLD AND SHE’S ALL “I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO” IDK ??? LIKE THIS IF YOU WANNA DO IT 

please an arranged marriage between two socilaite families/ big names in their city. but like she’s still stuck in the party stage and fucking up because she’s upset with her parents or unhappy with her life and he’s dealing with a lot of pressure and stress from his family to take over the family bussiness and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super drunk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when he throws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for. but also the angST and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and sexual tension

gimme a plot where … basically, muse ais this corrupted soul, always drinking too much, getting too high, they can barely function and muse b is basically their saving grace, always coming through in the middle of the night after a drunken phone call asking for a ride home. and muse b only does this because they’re agood person at heart, but they can’t deny that muse a’s actions actually disgusts them. but they’ve known each other for too long and muse b always promised they’d never let muse a down, because they know they’re the only thing that’s STABLE in their life. and this has become their routine, muse a texting/calling muse b when something goes wrong and muse b coming around to rescue them. there’s not much to their friendship beside that, these days, because muse a doesn’t really acknowledge them otherwise. andmuse b just settles with the fact that they’re being used, but they can’t bear to leave muse a alone, knowing that they probably wouldn’t survive without them … but then ONE NIGHT, when muse b is carrying muse a into bed, tucking them in like they usually do and they’re about ready to say goodnight until muse a, who is completely out of their mind intoxicated, mumbles somethingbarely audible that sounds a lot like ‘i love you.’ muse b thinks to brush it off, until muse a continues professing all these FEELINGS like ‘i really fucking love you, please, don’t leave me tonight’ and muse b is just STUCK. because muse a is so bad for them but muse b is the only good thing in their life … so they stay. 

i need a college plot. i need muse a, a shy but openly gay painter in his first year. i need muse b, a soccer star who is “definitely straight” in his third year. i need muse a to ask muse b out on a date and muse b accepts because he’s dared to by his team. its awkward and its tense because muse a is fumbling over his words and saying the wrong things. i need muse b to walk him back to his apartment and muse a kisses him and its hot and rough, completely unexpected and they have sex and its very awkward because muse b is dominant but has no idea what to do. and i need muse b to use muse a for sex because he definitely is 100% straight but muse a is a good fuck. i need muse b to start falling for muse a. i need muse b to get scared and defensive, now playing part in the bullying that the soccer team has been doing against muse a. i need muse b to just honestly be a really shitty person but muse a to love him through all of that.

okay but… give me an f/f plot where muse a is a hopeless romantic with a long term boyfriend and her best friend since childhood, muse b, is a closeted lesbian who has had a thing for muse a for as long as she can remember however, as of recently a has been pretty negligent towards b and hanging out with her boyfriend instead. so, to repay b – muse a plans out a road trip, full of cheesy pit stops, road side attractions and sketchy motels, spanning over the entire summer. being in the car with each other for that long with each other means petty little arguments about how much time a has been spending with her boyfriend and/or weird sexual tension. ++ late nights at shifty bars and motel rooms getting wine drunk = make out sessions the two pretend to forget by the next morning. lots of angst from muse a’s side since she has a boyfriend she’s been with for years and angst from muse b’s side because she has to listen to the girl she’s had feelings for forever talk about her boyfriend the entire trip…. YES!!!

[nezumionice]

I am going to speculate the entire plot of infinity war with all the set pics and rumours we have heard so far. Please feel free to add in missing points. This is what I think is gonna happen:

Both Stephen strange and vision have been attacked by some kind of alien intruders. This can be seen from the set pics and footage of vision being whisked off by cgi ninja-like creatures. The same ninja aliens can be seen in the recent set pics of Stephen strange as well. I suspect that these ninja aliens are Thanos' black order, whom he has sent from the cosmos to collect the infinity stones for him ONCE AND FOR ALL. The only thing Stephen and vision have in common is that they both possess the powers of an infinity stone, thus the black order is seen attacking them for their stones in these shots. Before vision is kidnapped, wanda maximoff was sighted with him, so when someone reportedly heard Wanda scream of "NO! LET HIM GO!" on the set, so we can assume that the black order must have succeeded in apprehending vision and collecting the mind stone. It's not confirmed yet, but judging by the way doctor strange is clutching his amulet of agamotto, I can only speculate that the black order must have succeeded in retrieving the time stone as well. Tony stark and Bruce banner seem evidently unscathed, thus I suspect they only arrived after the invasion occurred and are simply analysing the remains of the ordeal along with their new-found sorcerer allies. And then we have our friends in wakanda. So far natasha, tchalla and Steve have been confirmed to be in wakanda, and I highly doubt bucky has moved very far from his miserable refrigerator, so he's probably still in the country as well. God only knows how the fuck natasha managed to end up in wakanda (I mean, as the most hidden and advanced city in the world, I don't think even natasha could track it down with her killer spy skillset), im guessing someone went to find her instead (HOPING ITS BUCKY BC I MEAN ITS NATASHA ROMANOFF WE'RE TALKING ABT, AND SINCE BUCKY TRAINED HER, HES THE ONLY ONE WITH SHARED LIFE EXPERIENCE AND KNOWS HOW SHE WORKS). Scarlett Johansson was spotted filming near where vision was taken, so I have a feeling natasha (and maybe Steve?) would have heard about the invasion and brought poor devastated Wanda back to wakanda. Then there would be discussions and stuff about the aliens and why they attacked and who they were serving, so as of now, they don't know who Thanos is yet. Then come the cosmic heroes. Something on wakanda's radar picks up an unidentified flying object landing the borders of the city. Tchalla and Steve and everyone think it's the aliens again, but its actually the guardians of the galaxy. (Here we presume that there will be flashbacks or sth where we somehow get to see how the following happens) they heard that orb has been forcefully stolen from the Nova core and the reality stone was taken from the collector, who is most likely killed in the process. Gamora thinks that Thanos is behind this and is one of the few ppl in the galaxy who knows about the infinity gauntlet. They decide to go to earth to check on the rest of the infinity stones after they hear that two of which are there. They coincidentally land near to wakanda (cue emotional, nostalgic Peter Quill finally back on earth), and thats how steve, tchalla and friends found them. Both teams agree to join forces after gamora confirms her theory about the infinity gauntlet. She's also very concerned about her sister nebula, who was last seen vowing to kill Thanos by herself. Tony Stark, on the other hand, has also figured out as much as the fact that someone out in space wants all the infinity stones. Back to earth come Thor and Loki, another two individuals who are very well aware of Thanos' schemes (especially Loki). Thor finds Tony's side first (he would want to warn Steve as well, but wakanda, as I've said, is impossible to track) and warns him about the impending danger, and admits that the tesseract was also stolen from Asgard by the black order. He also mentions the missing reality stone and the collector's death, since lady sif was the one who put it there for safekeeping in the first place. In wakanda right now we have Steve, tchalla, nat, Wanda, gotg and bucky if he's awake. If he isn't yet, now is the time for him to wake up, because Steve realises the impending threat that is coming and decides that they need all the help they can get. He brings back the old team cap, Sam, Sharon, Scott, Clint, and wakes bucky up, (THUS THE BEARD?!? BC ITS BEEN LIKE TWO YEARS IDEK) but the gotg insist that they need to get Tony back. Steve is slightly hesitant (bc of civil war) but agrees to try and negotiate with Tony (cue nervous, guilty bucky). Tony's side is getting very anxious bc they lack manpower. Tony rung up his old team as well but since vision and tchalla are gone there's a huge shortage of fighters. There's literally just Tony, Rhodey, Peter Parker (I'm going to assume he proved himself worthy of handling lethal threats after Spiderman: homecoming) Bruce, Thor, and Loki. Then Steve calls Tony and both are surprised they know as much about the black order attacks as the other. They eventually agree to fight together one last time, but only for the sake of all the innocent lives in the galaxy. And thats the end of my crappy plot speculation. We don't have confirmation on where the soul stone is yet, although a lot of ppl think it's with heimdall, its not confirmed. So I can't talk about that part yet. Once again, feel free to add lil details you wanna see in the movie, like lil bits of dialogue or maybe rocket requesting for Bucky's arm to complete a plan (OK but what if it's legit tho like what if he really needed an arm for the plan, and innocent child Bucky just goes "no, you cant have this one, but I do have an old spare one from my winter soldier days. Will that work?"). But yeah also go ahead and play around with this plot, butcher it, write a fanfic to it, tweak it, add stuff, take out stuff, kill off more ppl, develop more ideas from it etc. I don't think the movie might be this way but that's okAY bc I have higher expectations for it lmao I'm gonna die