#bc that man is weak and Cannot handle it

[demonic0angel]

Haunted Paintings Sketches!

Part one

I hope you enjoy the sketches I made of the paintings!

Also! You’re free to use my ideas (please give credit ofc) if you’d like, bc I REALLY don’t think I’ll write this one, no matter how much I want to. It’s just too much and I’ve already got 3 unfinished fics and several other series to write for. If you have any questions, feel free to ask or send me a submission! You can also DM if you’d like!

TW: mentions of suicide, murder, depression, mental illness, just really dark, creepy stuff bc these are haunted paintings and they torment people :/ no scary drawings tho! I only described them (click for clarity)

Jazz:

Description: Jazz is sitting at a table in the middle of a flower garden with a book in one hand and a teacup in the other. She looks tranquil and is dressed formally. On the table are a few plates, a plate of cookies, a bookmark, an opened envelope and a bloody butter knife, and a teapot that is slightly out of view.

Use of mediums: gouache paint, watercolor, and pencils

Focus: Jazz amidst the flowers

Inspirations:

• The Queen of Hearts from “Alice in Wonderland”

• Galna from “Mairimashita! Iruma-kun”

Location: She used to be in the home of a random crime lord in Gotham for intimidation purposes. She was kept in the crime lord’s office before being relocated into Wayne Manor, where she sits in the hall across from the library.

Extra facts:

+ Her scary form would be one where her tea is filled with blood and the roses would be replaced with decapitated heads. The sky would turn dark red and the ground would be a pool of blood. Jazz would smile and look at the viewer with shark-like fangs and hollowed out eyes.

+ The tea she drinks is Darjeeling and the cookies are chocolate chip.

+ Although Jazz is the weakest painting, her effects are deadlier, more painful, and longer lasting than the others if her victims survive.

+ She causes paranoia and dizzy spells. Her effects are rather weak compared to the others, but when spending enough time with her, victims can also display symptoms of scurvy, which cannot be cured.

+ She was the first one I drew and also the easiest to plan. I just love her so much, she’s one of my comfort characters so it’s not hard for me to find ideas for her 😭

Valerie:

Description: Valerie stands in the middle of a dark, foggy forest, wearing a long dress and pressed close to a tree as if she is about to hide behind it. A branch covers her face and the trees around her curve into a circle with multiple holes within them. There is a Fenton thermos in the background on the floor and an axe in front of Valerie, sticking into the tree and oozing something.

Use of mediums: pencils and watercolor paint

Focus: Her hidden face

Inspirations:

• The Son of Man by René Magritte

• The Beast from “Over the Garden Wall”

Location: She was kept in the back of an art museum, but the director has been hoping for someone to buy her and get rid of her, since he cannot handle the strain of having her inside of the gallery. Now she stands near the door to the entrance of Wayne Manor, a silent and deadly sentry.

Extra facts:

+ Her scary form would have her surroundings to turned into the entrance to a mouth or an intestine, red, fleshy, and bloody. There would be bones littering the floor everywhere and Valerie herself would become bloody and stained, with her face still hidden. Tortured faces would be seen through the fog.

+ The holes on the trees sometimes leak a mysterious substance.

+ Valerie is not the weakest, but she is not that powerful. However, she does amplify the others’ effects to fatal degrees.

+ She causes paranoia and auditory hallucinations, often causing her victims to feel as though they are being watched relentlessly, which cannot go away. Eventually, her victims will shut themselves into their rooms and starve to death from the fear.

+ She and Tucker had switched ideas, but I had to trash them. I never got the opportunity to draw those ideas because I struggled so much with Tucker that when I eventually got inspiration for Valerie, I just went with it. I’m quite happy with Valerie’s portrait now.

Dani:

Description: Dani, dressed formally, sits at the head of a table with a large painting and curtains behind her. She holds a fork and a knife over a pig head. Her gaze is downward and she looks like she’s frowning softly. The dinner table is messy with three other dishes and a knocked over bottle of wine.

Use of mediums: oil paint and oil pastels

Focus: Dani holding the fork and knife

Inspirations:

• Rosie’s Tea Party by Mark Ryden

• “Spirited Away” (specifically that one scene where Chihiro’s parents eat the food)

Location: She was hidden by Vlad and kept safe with him. He keeps her in his office, where he can watch her. He only recently found her again, and he was determined to watch over her. Now she stays in the Wayne Manor's dining room, but often changes her position to be next to everyone else in the bedroom hallway.

Extra facts:

+ Her scary form would be one where all of her food dishes would be replaced by very obviously human parts, especially with the pig head becoming a human head. The curtains would turn to blood dripping down the wall and Dani would be smiling, taking a direct bite of the human head that was in front of her with her fork and knife.

+ The dishes she eats in the painting are: pig head, vulture thigh, lamprey eels, and sheep brain.

+ Her at the dining table is meant to signify greed and gluttony, 2 of the most simplest sins.

+ She causes great feelings of hunger and paranoia in others. When spending too much time with her, some victims turn to self-cannibalism to sate their never ending starvation.

+ Originally, both her and Dan’s ideas were switched, so Dan would’ve been the one feasting and Dani would’ve been the one looking at her reflection. However, I switched them around because I felt like it would’ve been spookier. I even finished the drawing with Dan and everything, but then I just erased him and drew in Dani 😓

Dan:

Description: Dan is standing in front of a mirror, glancing behind his shoulder, while his reflection shows something different: him looking at everyone else and the door behind him by looking at the mirror. The party guests are all wearing masks and there are chandeliers on the ceiling. The party looks vaguely fancy, but messy with secrets.

Use of mediums: Oil paints

Focus: His reflection

Inspirations:

• Jeff Lee Johnson and his art

Location: He was kept in a locked safe within a rich person’s house in Italy. He had to been wrecking havoc on the nerves of everyone around him, but he is now safe and happy in Wayne Manor, where he is kept in the office to the entrance of the Batcave.

Extra facts:

+ His scary form would have all of the party guests dead, but their eyes would face the viewer. Dan's reflection would also be dead, but his actual self would be the same, only with an eerie smile as his eyes follow the viewer. In the doorway would be the figure of Danny. Blood would cover the entire floor and walls, but nobody would react to it.

+ Dan keeps his own masquerade mask in his pocket.

+ The woman who is directly staring at him is supposed to look like Maddie.

+ He causes viewers intense mood swings and long, often violent mania episodes or mind-numbing depression episodes. Those who keep staring at him will gain the feeling of being watched and haunted, often with visual hallucinations, resulting in losing their mind from fear and then killing others in their terror and panic.

+ I tried so hard to make Dan as handsome as possible. I think I pulled it off bc I’m a little bit in love with him ong, but I also kinda have to be bc I draw him so often

Tucker:

Description: Tucker is in the back shot of a desert, with his back towards the viewer, staring at a large skeleton that is seemingly climbing over a large sand dune. The skeleton has flowers in its eyes, and its hand reaches over the horizon. There is a single sun in the sky and an arm holding a pocket watch sticks out of the sand close to the viewer.

Use of mediums: gouache paint, pens, and pencils

Focus: The large skull

Inspirations:

• JT Music (specifically their JT album covers)

• The Giant God Warrior from “Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind”

• “Dune”

Location: He was originally kept in one of the rooms within the GIW headquarters. Now, he is kept within Wayne Manor, and stays in the theater room, where he whispers to the Wayne residents what movies he wants to watch. Sometimes, he moves to the garage.

Extra facts:

+ His scary form is one where the skull becomes covered in meat and flesh, oozing blood and tar while the sand turns red. The scene turns to darkness, and more limbs would sprout from the ground. Tucker would be nothing but a pile of flayed skin, crumpled into the sand.

+ GIW agents were unable to experiment on him, since he would purposefully cause machinery to misfire and slowly corrode his surroundings.

+ His painting is meant to be a little comic book-esque with one of his mediums being ink, but I felt like that wouldn’t be a PAINTing, so nvm

+ He causes visual hallucinations, hypovolemia, headaches, blindness, and osteoporosis :). Often, when his victims are autopsied, sand and salt can be found within all of their organs. He emits so much radiation that he can wear down the materials of the place he is stored in.

+ I DREW HIM THREE DIFFERENT TIMES OML, FIRST IT WAS HIM IN A WORKSHOP, THEN IT WAS HIM IN A MARSH, THIS IS THE FINAL PICTURE I CANNOTTTT IM DONE

Sam:

Description: Sam stands on top of a small, grassy hill with a path leading to a grave and an angel statue on top of it, close enough that she is blocking it. Around the hill are pomegranate trees and hanging corpses. There is no sun, but there are clouds as Sam stands with her back to the viewers in a long goth-styled dress.

Use of mediums: paper, glue, acrylic paint

Focus: Her standing on the hill

Inspirations:

• This Reddit picture of a liminal garden

• A mix of weirdcore and dreamcore aesthetics

Location: She was tossed into the ocean by her parents when they first saw her, but she later washed up on an island and now the animals and plants there act erratically and strangely. Finally, she was relocated to Wayne Manor, where she hangs on a wall within the greenhouse, happily watching over the plants there.

Extra facts:

+ Her scary form would be one where eyes would replace all of the pomegranates, staring at the viewer. The paper used to make her would become flesh textured and bloody, and Sam would appear abnormal, broken into pieces and cracked, turning around and smiling at the viewer with shark-like teeth. The grass would become hairy skin and the sky would become red, with swirls and more eyes.

+ Sam's "painting" is actually made of mostly paper, since it is a collage. It is a bit touched up by paint and all of the materials used are vegan and ethically sourced, though they do change.

+ The flora and fauna in the island she landed on have mutated so much that they’re basically mindless. They protect Sam relentlessly.

+ She causes general insanity and relentless symptoms in her victims, such as paranoia, intense episodes of mania and depression, itchiness that can result in self harm, and violent, unexplained behavior in animals and plants. She also emits so much radiation that she can cause sporadic DNA mutations, resulting in several forms of cancer and mental instability, often resulting in victims becoming inhuman and monstrous forms of themselves.

+ Originally, Sam’s portrait was supposed to be in a garden, but I wanted it more “liminal space” themed, and I think I got it right. I think it’s really simple, but I also feel like if I was able to create it in real life, it would be more interesting because it is a collage of paper and paint.

Danny:

Description: a picture of black blotches and scribbles with muddy and red stains. Any features besides the ornate frame is hidden underneath the stains.

Use of mediums: pencils, ink, charcoal, tar, blood

Focus: His crying

Inspirations:

• SCP-035 (“The Possessive Mask”)

• The Anguished Man by an unknown artist (it’s a haunted irl painting!)

• Bendy and the Ink Machine

Location: He was cloning himself in order to jump through universes to find his family. In the current universe, he was with the League of Shadows before he was found and brought back to the Wayne Manor. He is in the hallway with the bedrooms of the Wayne residents.

Extra facts:

+ His scary form is technically his normal form because he cannot turn it off. Once he is happy again, his normal form would be one with him and his family, smiling and happy. Until then, he haunts the minds of others and ravages their sanity.

+ He’s been traveling all over the multiverse in order to find his family. Coincidentally, they’ve all been in the same world for some time.

+ He screams all day and night for his family. It’s so bad that Danny has destroyed thousands of worlds in his grief.

+ He causes the worst of all symptoms, often causing the viewers who look at him to go insane and kill themselves or others, even if it is only a few seconds. Even those who stay in the same room next door to him are consumed with suicidal thoughts and intense moments of psychosis. Those who have survived encountering him and have some semblance of mind left say that he “cries” relentlessly. His paintings leak a black substance that corrodes the place around him.

+ Literally all I did for this picture was scribble in my notes app, take a screenshot, and then scribble some more on photos LMAO

Extra notes:

+ Jazz, Dani, and Dan showing their face while Sam, Tucker, and Valerie hiding theirs is intentional. Danny is a mix of both, because he actually IS showing his face, but you can’t see it past the black and red.

+ Every painting has a flower inside of it, specifically a carnation, which are often funeral flowers, and can mean gratitude, remembrance, love, and affection.

+ Every painting also has a mention or appearance of Danny in it.

+ I also tried to put hints of bad omens or signs of death within every painting. Some examples are Dani’s painting with the chopsticks sticking out of the bowl (a sign of bad luck and death), or Dan’s painting, where a woman is being strangled in the background and another is being killed.

+ All of the paintings generally have an ability to teleport to places nearby and can actually snatch up viewers to shove them into their domain. This can be a defensive mechanism (the paintings protect the Bats) or an offensive ability (they pull victims in and kill them). They also all have weapons on them that are hidden or not so hidden.

+ I struggled a lot with ideas and how to get started on some characters because I just had so many, and I wanted it to be creepy, but not noticeably creepy, like most paintings. I’m sad to say that I wasn’t able to use some of my planned ideas from inspirations of actual haunted paintings.

+ Discarded inspirations: The Rain Woman by Svetlana Telets (my favorite!! Please look it up if you can!!), this picture I saw on Reddit of a sheep being stuck under ice with its back exposed, a workshop idea with Tucker, and Dani and “Daughter of Evil” with mirrors and everything.

+ The world where Danny and co., come from is different from the world they’re currently in. It’s like a world where some people are the same, but others are not. Example: the GIW, Maddie, Jack, and Vlad exist, but Danny and Jazz never made it past their childhood. So basically a What-If world or something.

+ Their backstories are somewhat undecided, but basically, something dangerous happened to them in their home dimension and it was so bad that Danny captured all of their souls and put them into paintings so they would live (with the help of Clockwork). However, by doing this, he scattered their souls and paintings throughout the universes and he went crazy from it, and turned himself into a painting too so he could find them. Now his cloned paintings travel and sends itself to other worlds to find his family again, often leading to their destruction from his power.

Or something? Lol

[uhohdad]

Can’t wait until the aftermath to come out!! By any chance can you give more headcanons on König and reader?? 👀👀

well duh darling i’ve only been waaaaaiting for y’all to ask

‼️ ⚠️ MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE KONIG X READER HUNGER GAMES AU BELOW⚠️ ‼️

• Konig hated the whiskey. hated the taste, hated the smell, hated the way it made his brain foggy. he only drank it on the train bc he thought it would make Reader think he’s cool 😭

• another reason konig didn’t want to go on the balcony is because he’s afraid of heights. he only did it to hang out with Reader

• seeing Reader in a jacket in his size ahbsbxhahhzxb he was so nervous to offer the jacket to her and seeing her drown in it was making him feel some type of way. you’re so small.

• in addition to watching her sleep the night before the games, he also stayed up late on the balcony to watch Reader sleep. felt like a straight creep he did.

• Konig always sits so far away from Reader because he’s terrified of making her uncomfortable, especially after getting turned on when her leg was on his. Also why he was so fucking baffled when Reader had her leg pressed to his on the train. He so badly wanted it to happen again but he didn’t want to push it. And it really speaks to the true elation he felt it when she was still alive at the end it literally brought him to a sprint to pull her in a hug that was tighter than it should have been.

• Konig’s not one to jump to violence, especially after the incident from his past - but when One called Reader a dog he had his fists clenched fs You’re his weak spot dude he’s always ready to throw hands for you. He feels like it’s his duty, especially since he feels the need to repay her for standing up for him. It really shows in (aside from literally killing for her) when he spoke out of turn to Price - something he would never do if it wasn’t concerning Reader. He really gagged the whole dinner table.

• Konig is especially awkward with Price. and vice versa. They don’t really ‘get’ each other. Konig still respects him and his opinion of him, though. He’s much closer with Ruby.

• god he is just so. enamored with Reader. he is just so happy that they have good banter. he just thinks everything she says is the most charming thing ever.

• I don’t think I can stress enough just how jealous our boy was when Titan was flirting with Reader. Nauseous. He had a whole ‘that’s so raven’ day-mare about you and Titan. The thought of him laying his hands on you. And knowing he had just upset you made him believe he just pushed you right into Titan’s arms. So relieved when you started talking shit on him.

• aside from being devastated that she was upset with him about considering allying with the careers, watching reader handle weapons did something to him.

• He feels so lost when you’re upset, and he has a tendency to blame himself and not the whole ‘being sent to your death thing’

• During Konig’s interview, he was sure Reader knew he had a crush on her. He thought the jig was up.

• I almost made Pluck have a full on moment after the interview, the night before the games - like throwing chairs, breaking glasses, and destroying the suite, but it didn’t end up making the final cut it just didn’t seem to flow with the story.

• It took hours for Konig to work up the courage to go to Reader’s room the night before the games - and he still chickened out.

• Konig was just as haunted if not more by Eleven. He could feel his neck snap.

• I’m screaming, crying, throwing up that I can’t give y’all more games fun facts since I don’t wanna spoil The Aftermath

• y’all ain’t gonna like this one but the TRUTH? Konig was sneaking mad looks at Reader at the waterfall when she wasn’t looking. felt like such a creep.

• felt like the luckiest man alive getting to carry her through the desert. what a simp.

• Konig is the love that cannot be reasoned with. Reader is the hate that cannot be reasoned with.

• Konig sacrificed himself because he couldn’t stand the thought of her not living, period. He truly believed she deserved to live more than him. Reader sacrificed herself partially because that was always the plan - but her motivation in regard to Konig was because she didn’t want to live without him. Her motivations were selfish while his were selfless.

• Reader’s spite was her downfall after all. Price warned her not to let it get the best of her and she ended up taking her own life because of it.

‘We’ll see who wakes up tomorrow, Konig.’

more TGWCM fun facts :)

[teejaystumbles]

For Sandtober #6, "golden", and the Monsterfucktober bingo square "undead", I present you something based on one of the books that left an impression on my teenage mind and now that is all I can think of when I get "bones" and "gold" in relation to one another -

Servant of the Bones AU

In Babylon, about 600 years BC, Hob, a young handsome shepherd, is forced to become the new statue of the god Marduk but through a secret ritual conducted by a witch does not die and is made into an undying spirit who has to serve whoever owns his bones. The witch botches up the ritual and dies, leaving Hob with his mind his own - even if he has to obey the bones’ current master, he is able to think for himself and over the centuries he outsmarts a lot of his crueler masters, leading to their demise and to the box being inscribed with more and more warnings not to summon what is inside.

First AU variant: In 2022, Dream Endlos [lol let’s give him the German name variant for once], a successful author of books and screenplays, buys an old mansion (Fawney Rig) which is full of old occult stuff from the previous owner. While he sorts through the stuff he comes to the conclusion that he’ll have to hire an expert to ascertain the value of a lot of objects. He trips over a box on his way out and it falls over and unlatches, revealing a glimmer of gold inside. Curious, Dream opens it and finds the golden bones of what seems to be a complete human skeleton. The box is inscribed with ancient warnings in almost every language from cuneiform to hieroglyphs to Greek and Latin. Dream is both horrified and fascinated.

He reverently places the bones back inside the box, carefully handles the skull and wonders about the person they belonged to. He goes to bed, his mind spinning with possible scenarios and stories concerning the bones, the box, the warnings. He lies awake for hours. Late at night he gets up again and goes back downstairs. He takes the box back up into his bedroom and sits before it. “Who were you?” he asks the box, and there is a quiet whisper of a man’s voice near his ear. “My name. Is Hob.”

Second AU variant (that I like almost better because I know how it would end): 

Burgess gets his hands on the bones after he captures Dream. He uses Hob to try and get Dream to talk, in so far as that he sends him down to talk to Dream and learn his secrets, in the hopes it might work because Hob is a supernatural being. Hob is fascinated with Dream immediately and tells him that he should not talk to him so he won’t have to betray anything to Burgess. “You mustn’t tell me anything important, I cannot lie to my master. If he commands me to tell him what you said I’ll have to answer. But I can tell you about a lot of things, if you’re bored. You must be bored, right?”

Dream is in turn fascinated with Hob and his strange curse and after a while they talk about unimportant things, things they like and dislike, they tell each other stories. Hob tells Dream how he was made into what he is against his will. Dream aches with sympathy. Burgess is frustrated because he gets no results. Maybe he also tries to have Hob use force on Dream but luckily the magic circle and spells make it impossible for Hob to enter the sphere Dream is held in. Events happen like in episode 1, Alex inherits Hob’s bones but barely uses him to do anything because he’s almost more scared of Hob than he is of Dream. Hob talks to Paul more than he talks to Alex and he tries to subtly influence the man to let Dream go. It takes decades but eventually Paul is showing signs of having had enough. Hob warns Dream to be alert and begs him to please take his bones with him if he escapes. Events unfold like in canon and Dream breaks free. He leaves without Hob’s bones, too weak to search for them right away. He knows where they are but he can’t get them without reclaiming his power first. 

Hob thinks Dream has left him to his fate and is full of sadness and despair. He returns to the bones, his master caught in an eternal waking nightmare. Paul takes the bones and calls on him to help Alex, but Hob can't help and so he ignores the pleas and doesn't even manifest. Paul is frustrated and puts the bones into a safe and out of his mind. When Dream has got the sand, helm and ruby back he goes back to Fawney Rig and searches for Hob. He finds his bones and takes them with him to the Dreaming, putting them into his own private rooms. Hob does not answer him and Dream pleads for forgiveness and begs Hob to come back to him. Only when he places a kiss on the forehead of the golden skull do the bones start to vibrate and come together and Hob is able to form himself a new body, with the help of the power of the Dreaming, a body that holds his bones and is free of the box so he will not be bound to any master ever again. :)

[natsmagi]

some more natsume gender posting but i do admittedly get very annoyed when i see people claim natsume hates things related to femininity because thats just. Blatantly not true. i did make a post a little while back talking about natsumes gender generally (might be a lil dated by now but eh), but there are some additional points id like to make

first thing being natsume very much enjoys more feminine things!! particularly things related to baking/gardening because thats what he would do with his mom when he was little!!!! (plus his newly added skill being cooking!)

with this and his undying love for his mom in mind, does it not make sense for natsume to hold feminine activities fondly? not only is he quite good at it, but it reminds him of his childhood spent with his mom!! he looks up to her alot!! and hes also thankful for the childhood he had because it makes him feel more unique. literally how does any of this read as a hatred towards femininity or his upbringing??? his mom is literally his number 1 inspiration and shes the reason he had this upbringing to begin with. Frankly the assumption that he hates feminine things just flat out does not make sense

and he doesnt even necessarily mind things like "-chan" either. though this one depends entirely on the person. for example kanata is allowed to call natsume nacchan but if tsumugi calls him natsume-chan blood will be spilt. to re-emphasize the point made in my previous post; natsumes biggest concern is being viewed as weak. he hates being infantilized more than anything. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" thats not tsumugi feminizing natsume, thats tsumugi reminiscing on the child natsume he used to know. when tsumugi calls natsume "natsume-chan" it feels like hes not being taken seriously, that hes still viewed as a child, that he hasnt matured (which is also why he doesnt like being called "cute" bc. yknow. kids r cute). and this is a REALLY big insecurity of his. he hates being viewed as naive. In the same vein though, natsume is insecure about not being manly enough too (such as him viewing his inability to swim as "not manly"). Which is also a really interesting point of discussion when it comes to natsumes character! but its important to note that his insecurity in his masculinity does NOT translate to a hatred of femininity. natsumes relationship with gender is an incredibly nuanced one and its so frustrating when people dont even bother trying to read into it and just completely generalize his character

with that said natsume DOES have some internalized misogyny though. But this ones kinda hard to navigate as. well. Almost the entire cast has had some to a certain extent at some point. esp in the early stories. which could all just be bad writing. But it adds to the complexities of femininity and womanhood, how the two are often associated despite being distinct from one another. and with this distinction between the two it adds ANOTHER interesting layer to natsume and his own relationship with gender, because we know he didnt mind being raised as a girl (its just incredibly fucking embarrassing that people know about it), yet his views on gender seem kind of........ Conservative. with him assuming anzu is bad at games bc shes a girl, claiming arashis lying to kids by calling herself a princess, worried that people will view him as less of a man for being unable to swim, etc etc. Like you truly cannot just read ONE story and think you now have a full grasp on natsume and his relationship with his gender. i cannot stress enough how complex it is. but this complexity is exactly what makes it resonate. if you're insecure, it makes sense for you to develop a toxic habit of punching down in order to get higher, esp since we know natsume doesnt handle his emotions super well

this section will be very speculatory and is just my own personal analyzis, so dont take it as gospel. But from my understanding it seems like natsume does genuinely enjoy more feminine things, but hes caught up in gender expectations (potentially due to him knowing both what its like to be a girl and a guy?) that this can cause him to say admittedly quite bigoted things due to his insecurities. natsume is a character that wants to be perceived a certain way; he wants to be cool, mysterious, alluring, but as we should all know by now This is a front he puts on. he very often puts on fronts and lies about his true nature and intentions. which all reads like a fear of authenticity. i dont think natsume genuinely holds those beliefs previously listed, he is just afraid of being vulnerable and, once again, having weak points exposed. he was told to be a girl when he was little and now hes basically told to be a guy without having the Common Guy Upbringing, which can easily turn into developing beliefs of toxic masculinity if you're the type who "plays the part" rather than being your authentic self. hes being told what a man is by the world around him so he tried to shape himself into it to play the part. He can be very blunt and cruel in his words to others, but i personally just see it as a projection from his end. its an attempt at making himself seem better and manlier than he actually is by using his words where hes lacking in action. You can pull off alot of mind games with a simple sentence alone. words can paint a deceiving picture if used correctly, and natsume is a fortune teller; if anyone knows how to say the right thing to get a certain impression from someone its him

i do also think its important to note that as time goes on natsume is starting to express himself genuinely more. Just like the rest of the enstars cast; his story is one of growth and bettering yourself as a person. coming to terms with who you are and learning to let others in

either way. im not one to gatekeep but i need ppl who dont read switch stories to stop speaking so definitively on natsumes relationship with his gender or im gonna start throwing rocks at people

TLDR this shit is NUANCED and to say its 100% this or 100% that does it a disservice to me

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 37

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

1. Fade to Black by @yokohogawa

Things between Keith and Lance are changing but Keith is restless, especially with Shiro still weak, and ends up taking a bad decision: he leaves Lance alone in the Castle with a Lion he cannot pilot. Unable to form Voltron without the newly appointed Red Paladin, the four Paladins left struggle against the sudden attack of a Galra ship and later on take damage from the explosion of a star in close proximity. Lance, on the other end, is left to defend the Castle by himself and has little time to succeed: without energy, the Lions have only 6 hours of breathable air. Beyond that point, his friends will be dead.

okay yes technically this series is unfinished. HOWEVER the first two works ARE finished, and they are amazing showstopping incredible etc. tbh im not much of a black paladin lance fan, i genuinely think solo leadership is not what he is suited for, but this fic made me way more open to it. the way he handled severe crises was as fear stricken as it was awe inspiring highly recommend

2. once again i am a child by @lilaclavenders

“You’re not a spare tyre,” Adam interjects.  “I know that,” Lance says, too unsure to sound completely defensive.   “That almost sounded like a question.” “No... it didn’t,” Lance says.

Lance and Adam talk.

i have always been a fan of lance and adam even tho its the most evidence lacking fanon thing in this fandom. its truly just so interesting. and to have lance as a young cadet getting slammed so badly just in so many different directions being given at least one grownup in his corner...its a good read.

3. Lance the language man by @irish-vampire-blog

Lance didn't really try to learn a language. He just, kind of, picks up the basics and then works from there. Its usually unintentional. Ish.

He isn't stupid though. He isn't an idiot. He just isn't the same kind of smart as his friends are.

this kind of smart for lance is so REAL bc no he cannot do like quantum physics or whatever probably but the way he seems to have a pretty innate ability to successfully do many things that he tries. he just can u know?? thats the autism with the gay audacity i would imagine but i love seeing fics like this

4. my boyfriend's back (and you're gonna get in trouble) by teacupfulofbrains

hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back

Keith Kogane has never heard of Vine. Lance McClain takes personal offense to this, and makes it his personal mission to teach his boyfriend to meme. Keith is confused, mostly.

(OR: several instances of Keith not getting the meme™ and two times he did)

I LOVE THIS FIC SO BAD I CANT BELIEVE I HAVENT RECCED IT BEFORE. yes i am a cringe zillenial who still finds vine funny and quotes it on the internet but truly idc idc. this fic is funny. this fic is cute. established klance my love and light. also keith comparing lances eyes to the star of bombay is some of the gayest shit ever and also the only time i will entertain blue eyed lance

5. The Most Dangerous Thing is to Love by running_downn

Last time something like this happened to Lance, Keith wasn’t there. He’d thought he would have been able to do something if he had been there, or at least if he was, the guilt wouldn’t be so heavy on his chest. But this time he was there. He was right fucking there and he decided that it was infinitly worse.

~

Basically there's a new threat after the Galra and it almost kills Lance. Desperate making out ensues, but it's okay to recognize when it's not the right time for it. Keith cries a lot cause he's older and grizzled and therefore not as emotionally stunted.

green sock reality? team still out fighting as adults and lance isn’t a fucking farmer while the rest of the team isn’t? keith’s abandonment issues treated with respect and dignity and also the acknowledgement that he’s older and therefore mature enough to handle those issues in a way that doesn’t risk a relationship that is important to him? lance understanding all this and using the supportive nature he is known for??? yes yes yes. stellar fic that should have way more hits than it does

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 4/30/2024

most annoying book i've read so far this year under the jump

listening

a lovely polyrhythmic instrumental piece with previously-featured tuesdaysong artist, terrifying master of the cello, abel selaocoe. this is very textured and kind of scrubs at the inside of my skull in a pleasing way. like the kind of back scrubber you can buy with a bamboo handle and the long soft bristles. popped up on my recent releases playlist from spotify.

-

reading

really fucking pissed about this book and i am not able to be reasonable about it. i was really thrown, much like the fantasy prince's mother from her carriage as she was being chased by regency gossip reporters, that this was a prince harry/meghan markle RPF AU. i am a bit uncomfy about the fact that our female lead, the fantasy AU meghan markle, is some flavor of fantasy Gaelic instead of fantasy mixed-race. now, i have no particular moral or physical beef with RPF but i don't typically seek it out. but/also/and, much like works about marilyn monroe, i think works with the specter of princess diana are in poor taste. can we leave these women alone maybe

i got about halfway through the book before this revelation and didn't really feel like it succeeded at much of anything it was trying to do. oddly informal and choppy, like it was originally intended as a contemporary romance with some urban magic and changed to regency in a late draft. this is combined with some fairly weak prose: more simple sentence structure than i would expect in a book for young adults, far too many proper nouns, and a lack of interest in showing not telling.

i straight up don't understand why the leads are attracted to each other if she keeps making very public mistakes and he's a rude cunt. i have read other books (most recently the t kingfisher books) where someone grows to love a very gruff or taciturn man, but it takes time and mutual trust and an effort on both sides, none of which happen here. the core conflict is duty to family in all its various forms vs the heart wants what the heart wants. the conflict is not much of a conflict, though, because characters come to realizations within three sentences of confronting them and then vocalize them with therapyspeak. someone literally pats someone else's hand and goes, "It's hard, I know." the author mercifully did not describe the sad little pursed sympathy mouth but i'm sure it was there.

i'm also deeply annoyed with how this author chose to go about characterization. while the character concepts are people i would love to meet in a ttrpg, it feels very concerned about Good Representation and it makes everyone feel very wooden. i think when you put together characters from a list of various oppressions and disabilities it starts feeling like a grownup version of a children’s ensemble show meant to sell little blind box figurines. here is the Chronically Ill one, and her color is pink! here is the Addicted one, and his color is green! here is the Goth and Depressed one, and her color is black with some bones! here is the Gay one who was once badly hurt by the Addicted one, and we don’t care enough about him to give him a color! here is the superficially fantasy-Jewish one, and we don’t care enough about her to give her a color or an action figure either!

while normally i would love to read a book with two! TWO! canonically bisexual leads of different genders! this book is written for the "folx" spectrum of gays instead of the "fags" part of the spectrum and it strays very close to a modern morality tale for me.

this popped up on a list of books with bi leads i think, but if it was here or on libby i cannot remember.

anyway! fucking hated this one.

pleasantly surprised these came in back to back off my holds lists, bc they are about the perfumer Grace and Grace's former landlord, the spy Marguerite. my favorite of these Saint of Steel series is still the one with the werebear nun. i have nothing to complain about these books and not much to say about them either. they were such a delightful and competent change of pace after the annoyance of the previously discussed book.

oh i loved these. oh i LOOOOOOVED these. how the fuck does novik do it. she is so good at capturing the very specific feel of a grandpa military historical novel. except with dragons. i love these in the same way i know i will love the patrick o'brien books if i ever get around to reading them. i was a navy brat and unfortunately this is fucking catnip to me. truly i have inherited all my father's tastes

-

watching

largely fallow week. i don't have anything particularly great to say about The Bad Batch, but when have i ever. have not caught up with dunmeishi bc my siblings have once again inadvertently locked me out of the netflix account i pay for. considering a vpn for many reasons but watching netflix and watching porn (the state of texas does not want me or anyone else to watch porn within her borders) are the two big reasons for. idk. cashing out the paltry cash-back credit card rewards and coughing them up for a vpn. vpn opinions welcomed, i know most of them are straight garbage

-

playing

i straight up ran out of money in genshin, which is pretty hard to do since they're pretty generous with it? i have spent several million in-game currency on leveling up neuvilette (i am so so so happy to not have to collect any fucking starfish mats for him anymore [mats are different materials you have to collect or buy in-game in order to level up a character. very grindy most of the time]). anyway i am now scrabbling around for the last couple chests and puzzles i marked on my map in fontaine. i haven't bothered with grinding for his specific boosting artifacts or leveling up his talents all the way yet but this is really not shabby. i have the bad habit of completely levelling up all my 5-stars and then ignoring them until i need them for a specific fight or a specific level of the monthly..battle royale puzzle? i don't really know how to describe the abyss. anyway when i do eventually need his pretty intense water AOE attacks i will frantically grind for his talent mats. right now we're grinding for other things thanks

this latest update contains both the best and worst new areas so far. the underwater lost city of Remuria is a fuckin banger. gorgeous. incredible puzzles. very fun music-based quest line with new abilities and giant whale. however, im kind of disappointed by the new coastline area in the map: there is pretty much nothing there. almost no interactable plants to harvest, very few enemies, almost no chests. i get that they are focusing their time and attention on the new underwater area everyone will be focusing on (killer, btw, super dense and great use of vertical space). very lore-heavy expansion, sort of what if atlantis was a bit roman-inspired and also. hold on. wait a second.

sorry this has just occurred to me at 10:21 PM on Monday night as im drafting this but oh my god are the fucking fontanians the Sea Peoples of the bronze age collapse. this is hysterically funny lore if true. im going to have to go back and reread a lot of the environmental storytelling notes but oh my GOD that's extremely funny if true. genshin has some of the most batshit lore of any game ive ever played and im so sad that so few game journos are focusing on it.

where was i. leveling up characters in legally-not-france who may or may not be descendants of the sea peoples. i often find myself leveling up characters in genshin not based on how useful they are to the party but by how fun the bosses i need to fight for their mats are? for example: neuvilette is a water-based AOE character with not a lot of on-field time. however this big electric seahorse, whose antlers i need to level him up, is really fun to fight and i can knock it out in about thirty seconds.

-

making

my sister's birthday is tomorrow! my birthday package to her was kind of heavy on stupid little trinkets and art books and not very much like. homemade? so i cranked out a little sampler. it's framed i promise i simply forgot to take a picture of it framed. about 3"x3", slightly adapted from a piece in Julie Jackson's Subversive Cross Stitch. i do think the F and C turned out way better (or at least the backstitching stands out way more) but hey. sometimes you need to hastily stitch a gift with the limited colors you have on hand

[jesse-pinko]

People really cannot handle actual “Strong Female Characters” people really cannot fit a whole woman inside of their heads. Whenever we get a female character that’s actually written like a human person instead of a liberal man’s thinly characterized wet dream or a second-wave CEO GirlBoss with no weaknesses or personality people gather together to throw the rocks from their heads at media literacy and the basic tenets of feminism in the town square. “Why is she struggling w a problem/insecurity that many women can relate to bc we are all subject to the same patriarchal norms that’s sexist >:(” are you fucking kidding me? BFFR why don’t y’all want to see a human woman on your screens if you’re just the wokest little baby in the room why do even fictional women have to be perfect for you to love them if you love women so goddamn much

[puppy-phum]

Hello 🤗 Which were your top 5 moments when you just knew the person on screen was in love?

i'm very sorry i'm a bit late with this but you know, life :'D i thought about this already before but only had the time to make this into a post now!

-

My Top 5 BL WhippedTM Moments

(or where i knew they were in love/feeling something/some type of way about a situation – sorry i took some liberties here)

I. Mork fixing Day's hair in Last Twilight episode 3

i know this doesn't exactly fit (maybe?) bc i cannot say if mork is quite in love here yet but this scene is glorious in showing a character realize they have feelings. the way mork pauses and just keeps stroking day's hair and wondering his face, if he likes it, if he likes him, and then has to snap out of it bc he gets so into his head – it's amazing. i love this scene. and it shows that mork did fall first, argue with the wall.

II. Yai seeing Jom for the first time in I Feel You Linger in the Air episode 1 & 2

sorry i couldn't find the exact moment as a gif so this will have to do. i just love how in the first episode, when yai first sees jom drop into the water from the boat, you can already see he's in love. i never questioned that it wasn't love at first sight for him – bc it so obviously was. he was gone the moment his eyes landed on jom and i really gotta admire the actor (bright? is that his name?) for so perfectly showing that.

III. Jaewon watching Jihyun fall asleep on his shoulder in The Eights Sense episode 2

these two are less obvious about their feelings bc of, well, reasons, but you can see it all here. i know jaewon goes through a journey before really accepting himself and those feelings, but jihyun is so comfortable about his own. but in this moment, you can see jaewon's walls cracking right open. he's extremely fond. and he's happy to have this moment, to be close to jihyun like this. also, i am just weak for sleeping scenes.

IV. Tien watching over Lomfon when he's sick in La Pluie episode 10

this is a perfect scene combining a character being sick, them falling asleep, and another character pining for them. you can see how badly in love tien is with lomfon at this point and it's astounding considering where they started. tien used to hate lomfon's guts with a passion but was the first one to realize and accept his feelings for him. i think in this scene you can see how much it hurts him to feel this way while lomfon is still figuring it all out.

V. Joke digs his own grave with Zo in Hidden Agenda episode 3

it always amuses me to no end when a character who has a secret crush insists on putting themselves into Situations with their secret crush. bc in most occasions, that backfires when they cannot handle those situations. that's joke as a character. and i love this scene for how ridiculous it is bc joke knows what he's doing and then he's the one who runs away from it. he's so stupid. it's adorable.

Bonus: Gun Gawin with Boss Cher in Our Skyy 2 x A Boss and a Babe episode 1

idk i just adore the look gun gives cher any time he has a chance. this man is so gone. he is so content just watching his bf be silly and adorable. you can literally see the hearts in his eyes and the syrup dripping from his lips. what a sap.

-

thank you so much for this ask and happy new year to you!! ♥

[mashiee]

Arlo headcanons please please please gimme

hrmhehahaheheaysysh

ok so

i hc that he has 4 older siblings, but was separated from them pretty early on due to [REDACTED] so he was practically alone his whole life, with the occasional step in from valerie

*[REDACTED] is a whole Thing, so send another ask in if you want me to talk about it and go into detail abt my hcs for arlo family/family dynamic(s)

this is very much why he so easily believes her and why he seems so much more adamant about the hierarchy compared to other characters

also why he acts like an only child despite having four older siblings

his sister has tried to reconnect with him but its a work in progress

he collects antique buttons and very much has a hyper fixation on them

yes he is autistic, tbh i probably dont even have to say that

bee allergy, esp hornets

hates wearing shorts outside would rather die than wear them out it feels so weird to him

honestly im not entirely sure what i hc arlos gender. it tends to switch between cismasc and amab demiboy. also sometimes tho its amab nonbinary or agender

also a bit unsure about pronouns. he/him for now but if i end up going for nonbinary or agender later on probably it/its pronouns. or maybe they/them

speaking of being queer he has internalized homophobia (possibly via valerie) so he probably doesnt come out until much later in life

he struggles with allowing himself to be feminine or sometimes even androgynous. was taught growing up that he has to be masculine and strong

its being worked on

plays animal crossing a lot

probably the only video game he plays. aside from maybe like. tetris

probably plays with elaine whether he knows its her or not

gay asexual

says he prefers dogs bc theyre more obedient but in reality he prefers cats

multiple times in a week he'll have moments where he'll suddenly Realize just exactly how Tall. he is

prefers reading over movies/tv/yt/etc. it just isnt as interesting to him. also he prefers things that are physical and that he can feel

acts all superior and shit but in reality hes super self deprecating and thinks he'll never amount to what is expected of him

was deprived of having hobbies and playing as a child so he's very much discovering his inner child as he grows and gets further away from the box he tries to mold into

likes adult coloring books a lot

cant stand repeating sounds it makes him dissociate

derealizes a lot

cant recognize himself in a mirror most of the time so he just. doesnt have them. and when in places that do have them he wont look at them. like if he's in the bathroom he'll look down the entire time he wont look up

same reason why he hates photos

absolutely despises mashed potatoes they are so slimey and disgusting

sometimes i consider hcing him as being 18-19 instead of 17-18 bc like. a lot of autistic children repeat kindergarten for lack of communication/interaction with other children

at the same time tho i feel like valerie wouldnt have allowed that

is a cat person

both in that he prefers cats and also that hes a wet cat

he never actually fights people he just crushes them w his barrier or lets them suffer the backlash from attacking it and then moves on

therefore he is weak asf and has no body strength. mr mans has noodle arms

long eyelashes

like john hes also vampire tier but hes sophisticated whereas john is like... feral vampire

sometimes i hc him as british and having an english accent bc i think its funny

can cook enough to survive but its mediocre

cannot handle ANY amount of spicy

pepper and any form of mint is spicy to him

hates mushrooms

has tried weed exactly two (2) times and has hated it both times

in his words "i felt like a coffee grinder with nothing to grind"

why do you, as a man, feel like you need something to grind? do you want to grind on a man?? is that it?? gay

the first person who convinced him to try it was a combo of rei and kuyo, the second time it was holden

arlo still questions why he did it the second time KNOWING he wouldnt like it

theres a senior chat and arlo got named "Big Daddy" in the chat by holden and he has no idea how to change it and no one will tell him so he just suffers

you would think as a king or whatever hed know how to blackmail ppl to get them to do what he wants but he actually doesnt

people just automatically listen to him so when hes faced with someone who wont, he either broods about it or straight up attacks them. sometimes both

more arlo stuff: arlo sibling info | [REDACTED]

[mintmatcha]

Hanamaki Takahiro Trust fund baby, Iwaizumi heart shaped jewelry giver, mama’s boy Izuku you are making me realize my attraction to these fictional characters is WEAK because all it takes is ONE headcanon from mint and I go from 🥰🤭💕 to 🫥💀🤬🥱 even as I see other people’s creations from fics to art all I can think of is what you said … Izuku I’m sorry baby but I fear you may NEVER be attractive to me again so long as the mf mama’s boy allegations exist bc I cannot handle a man child

izuku is such a mama's boy that having him suck on your tits give you a bad feeling in your stomach

[andro-dino]

ever since i got into sbr the bombermen now live in my brain..... maybe some domestic hcs for the bros and the dastardly bombers?? after the latter get redeemed im interested to know how you think they acclimated to being normal guys again

SBR IN MY INBOX FALLS TO MY KNEES AND SOBS I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THESE

There’s so many thoughts that have just been brewing around up there for ages. One that is like a suuuuuper old thought that’s been up there for years is the idea that Green hangs out with his sisters a lot and at some point gets really into painting nails and tries to get any and all of his siblings to let him paint their nails (ignore the fact that they don’t canonically have nails rn okay lets just pretend). It’s pretty hit and miss. I like to think that Yellow would be one of the most openly receptive to it but he cannot hold still for that long so his always end up really scuffed and messed up but he still loves them anyways. Also during this era I liked pairing up Green and Red as like, particularly close, and Red despite all his usual willpower is very weak to Greens manipulation and I just think it’s so silly. I drew a lil thing of him also ages ago beating up his training dummy while holding his hands out very carefully trying not to mess up his freshly painted nails and I just think that encompasses that whole thing.

SPEAKING OF RED AND DUO DYNAMICS I LIKE WITH HIM, him and black have a very stupid rivalry and constantly butting heads with each other is something that I hold very near and dear to my heart. It was a product of all the tiktok audios that were popular at the time that I had saved for hypothetical future cosplays I think (side note I need to get back to cosplaying (my magnet wig has been staring me down recently)). Their dynamic is very similar to dan and reiki to me if that makes sense. except they’re both better and worse. idk they’re just very dear to me <3 this one interaction in sbr2 genuinely made me like scream and cry and throw up it’s all 2018 axel ever could’ve wanted.

Another individual duo dynamic between the bros I am obsessed with is blue and pink bc I hc them as twins and they r so important to me. Blue in general I like to think of as really good at reading people (even if he doesn’t usually make that super obvious) and he tends to notice when Pink is overly stressed out and putting too much pressure on herself. When this happens, he’s usually able to bring her back down to earth by smacking her upside the head with a pillow and telling her to take a break. I like to think that if she’s stressing out abt like having to look after their other siblings or whatever, Blues like “I’ll handle it” and it’s very ominous and pink does not fully know what that entails but she does know that she really wants to take a nap so she lets him handle it. I think you give that man a monster energy or two and he could do anything.

I was also recently thinking abt the respective eldest four/youngest four quartets of the Bomberman bros and they just. mean so much to me. I like to think that they hold like their own respective council meeting to discuss the current state of affairs and stuff they’ve noticed about the other half. THEYRE JUST VERU IMPORTANT TO ME. with the older bros, again with blue being the most observant, I like to think that he tends to bring up stuff that none of the others have noticed yet and it always catches everyone off guard. The younger half are extremely silly with it. Like I don’t know how to describe it but they are the most functionally dysfunctional group imaginable and it’s both horribly chaotic but surprisingly organized. Yellow is the minutes man. he does keep track of everything in crayon. Half of the time he does get distracted drawing flowers and butterflies instead. there’s no one else they would trust with the job. Red thinks he’s the leader since he’s the oldest of the four. Aqua and Green have not broken the news to him that he is not. It’s okay he doesn’t need to know.

As for the dastardlys, I don’t have a lot of specific ideas for them as far as like, re becoming parts of society goes (though most of the ones I do have are mostly whiteplasma focused (and none of them are very coherent bc thinking about them together just makes me sob violently)), though I’ve honestly always liked the idea of them forming their own sort of ragtag sibling kind of bond. It’s very strange and weird and none of them are really fully used to it but they find comfort in each other methinks. Pretty serves as the main bridge between them and the main eight. I like to think that even after buggler n everything, she still dresses up and keeps Karaoke around as like, a sort of drag persona. It’s very important to me that for both groups, she is both very sisterly and mature but also incredibly silly to degrees unheard of. I’ve always liked the idea of her and magnet being especially close. They r. insane together. sometimes pretty is able to ground him and give him good advice and other times they bring out the worst (best) in each other and it ends about as well as you’d expect, but they r like besties in my head.

Plasma I’ve always thought of as just having a natural protective/big brother kind of instinct to him. It’s funny bc half of the dastardlies are older or roughly the same age as him but he still just like instinctually pulls out a lot of the big brother talk with them. One interaction I’ve thought abt is between him and golem where they’re kinda just hangin out and whatever and he brings up how golem and yellow are getting along and plasma’s like “it’s nice that you’re making friends I’m very happy for you” and golem (in his own vocabulary obviously) is like “yk you don’t have to talk to me like I’m a child, I am like thousands of years older than you” and plasmas like “right my b force of habit.” (I do think plasma is still like mentally older than golem iykwim but yk, golems not like green little either). It’s funny I actually used to not really like/care about plasma that much (I honestly think it was just his English voice acting like it really just does not do it for me dawg) but now I love him so dearly. His and white’s dynamic is especially important to me (if that wasn’t already clear) and like. augh. aughhh <333 they’re so incredibly similar in so many ways and just the thought of them consistently being together and training and hanging out with each other and bringing out the best in each other is so important to me. They keep up their friendly rivalry while helping each other out, white especially helping plasma and the others get reacclimated to everything and supporting them along the way (and maybe he and plasma smooch a little too idk the world is a beautiful place). I think White also gets along with Golem pretty well. mostly just bc white supervises golem and yellows hangouts/dates for a while just to make sure yellow is really fine without him keeping his eye on him all the time and in the process, grows really fond of golem.

I think as far as the other dastardlies and the bros go, I also like red and magnet together a lot just like generally. they r so incredibly silly I just think they should not be separated (even though only bad things happen when they’re together /silly). I also obviously am obsessed with phantom and blue together. extremely over dramatic guy who still thinks they have an intense rivalry x guy who goes “lol” and does not feed into it at all is the best ever in the world. Also, just bc of that one image from the sbr credits, him and black together I think would be great. They both have such a flair for the dramatics that I think it’d work. You’d think they’d be a mess just with how different their usual personalities tend to be but I think it cancels out and both of them think they just kinda get each other (they do not)(they don’t need to know that they’re happy anyways).

[dollgutted]

so my tumblr front page has a lot of ghostface stuff for obvious reasons, he's obviously a big fave of mine and i follow a lot of ghostie lovin' accounts, as well as following the ghostface tag. typical stuff. but i. every time i see live action ghostface i cannot fucking help but think of that poor fucking scare actor who was dressed as ghostface at the haunt i went to last year.

important details: i am a 4'9 man and despite being a horror lover and connoisseur, i do not handle irl horror very well. that is to say, i'm chicken shit. i'm a fucking baby. i cry and hide behind my friends at haunts. i love going! don't get me wrong! i love going so much because i love being scared but also my fear reaction isn't to fight, flee, or freeze, it's to fawn n cry, baby, that's how i do it. but it's always like "wow that was fun!" after the haunt, yanno? it's scary but it's not real so it's not traumatizing or anything, it's just like, "haha man i am weak let's go again next year", whatever yanno. those details out of the way, if you know ANYTHING about haunts, you know seasoned scare actors are usually pretty good at telling who the scaredy cat is, and a lot of times, that's the easy target. some will go for the one they can tell is already fuckin tweaking lmao. and boy, is it not hard to tell with me.

so let me set the scene: it's 11PM, dark as shit, i'm dressed like a fucken slut bc i always gotta dress up for haunts, if i'm gonna cry i wanna look hot doin' it yanno. got my bunny hat on, for emotional support (doesn't everyone have a hat w/ bunny ears for emotional support?). i'm clinging to my friends shirt while they're dragging me through this corn maze. i hear something crunch behind us and instinctively cling tighter. i know something is about to happen and i'm NOT going to like whatever it is. i'm anticipating a loud noise. a scream. someone to jump out.

LO AND FUCKING BEHOLD, who other than ghostface is suddenly fucking beside me. ME. this haunt isn't super strict about invasion of personal fucking space, it's not officially no touch but most of them won't really touch you. this guy, though, oh no. he says nothing, that'd be out of character of course, but i am staring. wide eyed. just looking up at him. my friends feel me pause. they turn back. THEY START LAUGHING. THEY ARE ANTICIPATING.

i am truly frozen, i am just looking at this man when he moves to press his (obviously fake) knife into my throat, tilting my chin up a little bit with it. i cannot fucking. i cannot function. i GIGGLE. i am a grown man and i giggle like a schoolgirl who's crush just picked up their dropped pencil for them. I GIGGLED. this man tenses, he did NOT expect that reaction. my friends are fucking cackling. this scare actor has been thrown for a loop. he once more says nothing, removes the knife, stares down at me for a solid thirty seconds, and then WALKS AWAY.

GHOSTFACE SCARE ACTOR IF YOURE OUT THERE I AM SO SORRY. I DID NOT MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE I SINCERELY DID NOT BUT I LOVE GHOSTFACE PLS UNDERSTAND YOU MADE A DREAM COME TRUE THAT NIGHT AND I STILL THINK ABOUT IT A YEAR LATER I WOULD APOLOGIZE IF I COULD BUT I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT HAUNT EVER AGAIN OUT OF EMBARRASSMENT.

[soulgathered-archived]

alright time for the opinion post . I wanna start with a few things that won't need to be spoilered :

I strongly dislike the changes the graphical update did to mae & knew that would potentially sour the way I feel about dt & I was right. there were some angles that got me all "oh u know what I totally am on board with this!" & then the angle would change & I'd, in reallife, make a lil offended gasp bcs "ohh no. hate this ! hate this ! I want my wol back" this isn't in regards to mods. I just legit miss vanilla mae from pre-dt. miss their old lips (which are the biggest issue to me) miss their old eye shape, their face shape etc.

if you cannot handle someone critiquing something you love ( mind you that I love 14 too ) then this post is not for you. the amount of disgusting hate i saw towards people with legit critics of the expac is... baffling. the devs won't be able to grow if we just coddle them.

I still think ew should have been 2 expacs, to finish the arr-ew storyline better & set up the new one.

I have played with JP voices since HW because this was an actual advice back in the day. HW + its patches were not big enough yet to warrant having to listen to what ARR delivered. I also always watch at least one streamer play 14 with english VAs to get both experiences ! because yeah actually english gives you the proper feeling of scale & distance by having characters with accents. as far as I can tell right now I think all the DT voices are amazing

& from here on spoiler territory !

...you were warned if you are still here this is on you .

but I wanna start with stuff I liked / adored .

wu.k lam.at & ko.ana's family bond. I will forever be weak for chosen family bonds & they are soso cute. I love their personalities. I wanna see more of them.

In general the environmental story telling & the details they put into telling the stories of region was soso much better, loved it. I loved exploring the zones & noticing stuff or just talking to NPCs.

the end reveal with the key showing the az.em symbol made me giggle. I am sure it won't lead to a "oh so az.em fucked up" thing but it still amuses me to think they did.

happy kr.ile got character development, she really does deserve it & she is a lovely addition to the team.

erenvil.le, ko.ana & wu.k la.mat are among my faves now without a doubt.

the third & lvl 95 dungeon music slapped. actually when the music is good it's SO good.

t.uli.yollal is stunning, feels so lived in. I like spending time there & just zooming around. srsly the graphic update looks so good in environments & the DT ones are soso stunning. also best inn / tavern room we ever had. who needs housing i am staying in there !!!!

however a good base does not make a great game & overall the story was just. mid. it exists I guess. it feels so weirdly cut off from past expacs? like you tell me they didn't hear shit about anything ever? other continent or not how do you miss the final days I don't care if it was "contained to some places" that kinda stuff goes around.

I don't need the people to know the wo.l's name or look but come on you have heard of them + the sci.ons. I know ppl say "we don't need to always be the mc stop demanding that" ...sorry that in a game that I pay money for I want my character to be important. all our character does is nod sagely to give WL some confidence & half the time she isn't even looking. if i can write my character out within seconds & end up at pretty much the same point at the end then there was no point for us being there.

this legit felt a bit like them looking at what ppl adored at previous expa.cs, copying it & copying it worse. zone 6 ? this might be my biased but like changing it as we did? that should have been an amau.rot or elpi.s thing. at least that had impact. I only cared for one character in there & yes her memories being shut down was sad but like. kay.

...can we stop with fantasy races who love money btw? I am sure it was not meant that way but man did that make me feel uncomfy as a Jewish person. especially the whole 'they used to be slaves now they are merchants adoring money' GUESS WHY SO MANY JEWS WERE MERCHANTS !! guess what was one of the few things they were allowed to do esp when romans took em along as slaves.

However in the same sense I did love the tradition of remembering the dead because that way nobody is really gone. Again I doubt SE planned that they accidentally nailed Jewish philosophy but that was fun.

....zor.aal j.a was boring. I kept waiting for some big twist but no he's just another daddy issue guy. only that the story really wants me to believe his dad is great !! so caring !! ....can't fcking see his son's own issues. the guy who DEFINITELY knew about how fcked bless.ed siblings were & he can't see the strain that being called a "miracle" put on his kid? this is why i waited for some plottwist of ZJ having other plans all along.

also I am sorry "we had war 80 years ago people are too comfy with peace" ...that. that is within living memory especially with 14 races ! that was the worst motivation. at least stretch the time!!

sph.ene was actually fine I like her, it's just.............we had her. several times. hello there moe-fied as.cian ! hello there not-amau.rot. totally not. this is not copied homework. at all. it was just a narrated last dungeon once more telling us about how great things used to be until they weren't. it totally wasn't "person who was loved by their people got twisted to save them" this is all...so...new...

this is a nitpick & an amusing one but ere.nvilles accent just makes no sense anymore. they really just wrote smth & were like "screw established stuff from before" ( i don't remember if it's a quest detail or one of the extra published stories but they had to go back & rewrite smth bcs it contradicted DT )

which maybe is my biggest gripe with the story. unless they HAD to acknowledge smth from previous stuff they just. copied it - in a worse way, for me at least - or just ignored it which at times felt so insulting.

the scene with the sick kid? eh hello? fairly sure we fixed stuff like that. we can just go grab ali.saie later & bring ange.lo along--? i feel like in previous expacs wo.l at least would have mentioned that to sphe.ne but then stuff with ZJ goes wrong so it gets pushed aside (but it's at least on our mind & not a surprise when the solution appears randomly bcs I fear that just might happen)

....most of the scio.ns felt like they were forcefully written in just so we had full parties for trials.

minor dumb stuff that is very me specific: i don't like sol.ution 9. i don't like the aesthetic, the vibe. just i don't like it. didn't like the ending song either. felt very shou.nen isek.ai-ish it's just not my type of song.

...wu.k lam.at i love you but you are among the worst trust characters i ever encountered I am sobbing i dunno if this is supposed to reflect her personality or she is programmed that badly. I never struggled with a trust so much.

I don't mind the trope of "love & friendship will safe the day" but....again it was just done better in the past ( end of ew, drk story, stb why we went with ly.se & stuck by her, arr raids...just. it has been done better )

as much as this probably sounds like just hating in truth it was. absolutely an okay expac.........just very mid. we had better, we deserve better but this wasn't "the end of 14" like how some ppl act. it served its purpose & i so hope that as the story goes on we look back at it more fondly for setting stuff up. a severable start to a new story. probably. depends what the future brings. a 6/10 for me.

[raspberrysmoon]

ummm please say more about the wilbur/john/xander fic right now <3 theyre my favourite guys ever and we need so much more content for them (i say as I write yet another fic not about them)

YIPPEEE YEAHHHHH LETS GOO!!!!! ok this got LONG so its all under the cut. uhm. i hope this tickles your fancy :3

i have SOOOO many thoughts abt these three tbh,,,, i had a thought last night of what it would be like if john and wilbur were engaged when wilbur. uhm. "died". but like 20 years later john's found xander and to hell with it if he can love them both. one is dead, itll be fine

except, wilburs not actually dead. he falls out of a portal and hes normal again and holy shit what does john do now. like thats still technically his fiance (and first love but shh) but his husband is Right The Fuck There

but it wnds up pretty okay. john makes sure wilbur really is okay and normal (hes as normal as he can be after being in the black for that long) and introduces them and it goes great

wilbur backs off of his own accord even though it absolutely destroys him to do so and gives both john and xander (mostly john) the shovel talk ("i swear to god- and ive met god- if you hurt him ill be one to get your ass and send it to hell" type shit)

but. where is this legally dead man going to live. aside from john, there arent many people who jnow him still alive (and ghats not to count the amount still working with peip) (there are two still working with peip. john and colonel schaffer)

so wilbur camps out on john and xanders couch until they figure out what to do from there

but wilbur is Old and Weak and hes honestly provably pretty close to (if not) disabled from the sheer amount his body has gone through and the couch is definitely making it worse. and xander being trained in medicine (though not practicing) steps in and is like "ok i know its going to be weird as hell but you have GOT to get in a bed. ours or not i dont give a shit" but they dont haev the space for another bed and honestly wilbur's been struggling to sleep alone anyway

so they end up dragging his ass into their bed and its like. the best sleep of his life. and he wakes up in the fetal position (normal) between john and xander (not where he fell asleep) and theyre both kind of holding onto him (what the fuck ?)

and he freaks a bit. bc thats his ex (?) fiance and his new husband. he cannot get between them like this are you kidding??

so he goes and sits on the couch but its really cold and he hates it (flashback sequence??) but he forces himself to not care and like. puts a show on or smth until xander wakes up and comes out like "why did you leave i was comfortable" and hes like "im already intruding a lot i felt bed" and xanders like "youre literally not but ok. do you like pancakes" and thats that (the answer is yes, blueberry ones)

and like a month later finally wilbur is cleared to get to work on mapping and explaining the black and white, and the lords in black, so he throws himself into that. 9/10 times he falls asleep at his desk or on the couch again and john and xander are both a little sad but theyte quiet abt theyre big boys theyre handling this great (<- lying)

and xander snaps after like. three weeks of wilbur destroying himself for the sake of explaining the shit he'd seen and he goes and demands that wilbur comes to bed one night and it goes a little something like this

"wil, come to bed"

"i have work to do"

"i dont give a shit, im shutting your laptop in ten seconds"

"no, i have shit to do. go cuddle with your husband" (< said bitterly)

"why are you being a bitch about this. we miss you" (< terrified this is wilbur shutting him down rn, but totally genuine)

"wtfdym you miss me. your husband is in there. you realize im your husbands ex right." (< getting increasingly upset)

"yeah. i mean. it doesnt really feel like you are ahymore, but if you want to call it that sure. but we miss you." (< catching on slowly. not fast enough)

"what" (< officially confused)

"have you not. noticed how much we're both kind of totally in love with you. really" (< losing his fuckingn mind)

"xander what the fuck are you talking about. what" (< also losing his fucking mind)

and then its a monologue about how john never stopped loving him and xander knew that if wilbur ever came back john would probably (definitely) go back to him in SOME capacity and he never minded. and then that happened and xander found himself doting on both of them and kind of maybe definitely falling really in love with wilbur and he can say not but. you get the point

by this point john is also here standing in the doorway (exhausted) (his fingers are crossed) and wilburs just stunned into silence for a while

and then he shuts his laptop and stands up and takes xanders (outstretched) hand and lets them take him to bed in silence and its. its his way of saying yes okay? its his way of telling them that he gets it, that he's done the same and that he loves them too

and they fall asleep together with wilbur in the middle. and its perfect

[choccy-zefirka]

15 Dialogue Lines!

Tagged by @druckkugelschreiber ! Thank youuuu, I love being tagged in things, even though I am always so slow with filling out the memes, and am too awkward to tag people back!

The prompt was: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

I chose my forever gal Yvie! She's a half-dwarf, half-elf, so I tag her as Lavellan for convenience. The lines are mostly sourced from just a couple of fics bc I have not actually posted a lot of written content about her! (I had some now-deleted fics about Yvie-like OCs I've since scrapped, but they need to be reworked!).

Imagine all of this spoken with a French accent, because Yvie is, in fact, Orlesian (but from a rural area rather than Val Royeaux; there may be some communication issues when she uses her village's dialect around Vivienne, who is a very studious non-native speaker with impeccable knowledge of the standard Orlesian, as prescribed by the Fantasy Académie Française).

"I heard some Chantry sermons from the humans in my hometown, but I don’t remember the part where Andraste cooked meals for the Maker"

"You see someone half the human height, with ears to match, and your mind instantly jumps back and forth between 'servant' and 'smuggler'… And yet humans are not so quick to let either of my kin learn a trade, no?"

"It is never gratifying to kill people — not for me! I am a gardener, not a warrior"

"My eldest sister joined the Grey Wardens many years ago... After the Fifth Blight ended and the Hero of Ferelden vanished, Empress Celene sent her to Amaranthine, to rebuild. And I ran away from home, all the way from Orlais, to visit her. I was still so young back then, and I thought it was going to be some grand adventure, but — but instead, I saw the darkspawn come back."

"Créateur! Of course I won’t punish you!"

"There is nothing wrong about loving a monster... And trust me, nobody wishes Corypheus was worthy of love more than me."

"I looked into his eyes when he tried to pry the Mark from my hand. I saw how much he had suffered. I saw the pain of wanting to find his gods, to discover, perhaps, what he truly meant to them, to the world; what meaning his life could have… Only to find a cold, indifferent silence."

"[The Architect] is a friend of my sister’s... I met him once, a year after the Fifth Blight."

"I could not fathom what all the fuss was back then. Why would silly Julie fall for [Loghain] a man twenty years her senior, who'd been the archnemesis of her predecessor? But it seems like a weakness for villains runs in the Kader family."

"Experimental nug breeding facilitator. Formulated at the request of Lady Nightingale. Handle with care. Effects on humanoids may be adverse"

"I shared my family’s fruit preserve recipe with [Flissa], though there’s not much fruit to choose from, with snow everywhere!"

"The dwarf side of my family was lucky to start a fruit orchard on the surface instead of getting sucked into the Carta."

"Do you know how flimsy the locks are in here? Before the cells started filling up, I would watch Sera — who is a friend, by the way; do not be hard on her — pick them for sport!"

"I am sorry. In the future... When the Elder One had taken over the world... I — I had to kill you."

"I cannot stop thinking about why every highway robber I 'take care of' chose to do what they did."

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 1/9/2024

the BEAST (phil) has been SPAYED

listening

my sister ALSO, INDPENDENTLY, keeps tuesdayesqe lists in the back of her planner! which is what i used to do before these posts! You Got A Man by JAWNY is off her 2023 playlist. this philly artist's claim to fame seems to be that he dated doja cat for six months? the song is short, bratty, and fun indie/alt not-quite-rap. i have no knowledge of how much the man overlaps with the song. spotify

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reading

ive never watched supernatural, except by osmosis bc i signed up for this website in 2011. this book is what i imagine people say when they say "what if supernatural was good?"

Rebecca Roanhorse's Trail of Lightning (her debut) and Storm of Locusts takes Maggie, a typical lone hero/monster hunter/horrible bitch of a woman (i say this approvingly) and says listen! you can do way sicker shit if you like. accept help and community and have a support system. it does not read like booktok found family or approach this in the typical fanfic way, which is refreshing. it points out that you will be a much longer lived and successful monster hunter this way. this is optimization, if you really look at it.

most postapoc stuff doesn’t contend with the fact (if it even acknowledges indigenous people at all) that indigenous people have already lived through several colonizing apocalypses. these books make a very sharp point that there is not a tremendous amount of difference between the reservation before the apocalypse and the reservation after the apocalypse. the worldbuilding in these is a interesting spin on sea levels plus the Energy Wars, to keep all of that at arms' length the Diné built a magical and physical wall, which i think is a funny spin on the trump border wall.

neither of them are really romance or kissing books, there is romantic interest but they are kept extremely busy not dying and admiring each other's competence. they are action and gore heavy. this is notable bc the books are fairly short (took me about two and a half hours each) and they have pretty fuckin good action scenes! the first book has an underground club and fight ring run by a cat god: club atmosphere was terrific (there's a bit about them having to drag in hastily camouflaged cheap walmart tables to handle some overflow and i instantly knew exactly the table), it had a dress up scene I was very weak to. i thought the series of events by which they ended up at the big boss battle post-club was kind of stupid but (forgivably) the big boss battle was quite enjoyable. figuring out what to do with your life next when you’re highly trained for a very specific thing but also not trained enough to be a serious danger and were set up to fail was extremely compelling to me, an astronomy major who cannot actually work in astronomy.

second book really hits its stride and (girl who has only played fallout voice) feels very fallout-y. desperate quest to save a loved one. girls' trip through a bunch of weird places with a bunch of weird guys. there's a lot of references that play with tone without ever going HEY REMEMBER THIS OTHER WORK YOU COULD GO LOOK AT RIGHT NOW? there’s a plane and a weird guy that made me think of mad max thunderdome, except the weird guy is his own character and has his own arc. there’s a weird grandpa on a boat who i don't think is a reference at all, except maybe to the timeless genre of weird grandpas on boats. there’s a sentient casino trapping people inside that reminded me of the new vegas dead money expansion, except Maggie barely steps inside bc she immediately gets caught up in a day-long battle of wits against the god of gambling. Maggie is a little more settled in her own skin now that she’s regularly talking to other people and has rejoined her community in her own small ways on her own terms and it HAS made her a much more successful monster hunter. the dialogue is snappier, the action scenes are more elaborate and smoothly choreographed. it's nice to watch an author grow so quickly (from this is serviceable to oh SHIT this is fun) over the course of a duology :) this feels like it was meant to be a trilogy but this book came out in 2019 so i am not holding my breath. it has a nice solid endpoint right here imo.

past sexual violence is sort of orbited around but no sexual violence is actually depicted, which i appreciate as a woman trying to enjoy postapoc.

libby has a very helpful Indigenous Voices category/reading guide/thing. thank u libby now i want to read everything else she's ever written

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watching

saw a piece of fanart i cannot find now for the three minute short PUPARIA by Shingo Tamagawa.

Something is about to change drastically. We can only be witnesses to it.

it's a weird and stunningly beautiful little thing i am still worrying at like a dog with a peanut butter kong. if you have a thing about eyes or clusters of round shapes this is NOT the three minute short for you btw

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playing

the free epic game was the Eidos Montreal Guardians of the Galaxy game, and since i am allergic to dead moms i will not be playing it. widely reviewed as "good writing, but not very much fun to actually play" so i don't feel like i'm missing out on too much.

i have no good story to tell about my time with genshin this week. we're aiming for "can i turn my brain off for forty minutes in the evening" and grinding a lot of one specific boss while listening to podcasts does seem to be enough to turn my brain off.

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making

i have been frantically deep cleaning (including soaking the office in enzymatic cleaner [thanks phil]) bc my siblings are coming to town for a couple days and despite several setbacks (a completely different arrival time than the one they told me) and absolutely no sense of an itinerary we will be fine! we will all be fine and have fun! i will be SO fine and calm and chill and we will all have some fucking fun so help us god

ALSO also phil has finally been spayed and is now dealing with four separate issues: the giant wound still on her side, the spay incision, the necrotic abscess in her mouth from going too hard on a springy toy, and being underweight from trying to heal three things at once. we'll get there! we'll get there. it's just taking a while. we are going to have friday afternoon vet visits every week for the foreseeable future.

i love her so much and i'm glad she's feeling better but i genuinely think owning a horse would be cheaper than owning this one wonky cat. they shaved SO much of her tummy she looks even sillier than usual.

other than being Very Alert for the persistent little orange tomcat that keeps hopping up on my windowsill, mackie is doing fine. no concept of the fact that my siblings are going to pick her up more in two days than she gets picked up in a whole month. this is a girl that likes her feet on the ground thanks much