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makiema · 4 years ago

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finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel.

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part:

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway, this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is:

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have:

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is:

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human.

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol.

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer)

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya.

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer.

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon.

#bsd #stormbringer #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs #stormbringer spoilers #bsd meta #bsd analysis

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albertserra · 2 years ago

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Thanks, I get what you mean. Honestly it’s like, guys not responding timely etc that leads to the feeling of not bringing anything worthwhile hence pest? Like I get all these Tinder likes and am up-front abt wanting to go slower, but when I actually match and start talking it’s crickets after only a couple days. Like very consistently to the point of being really discouraging. And it sucks when it happens with a really sexy guy like when am I gonna run into another ginger bear like this lmao

if youre american my experience w tinder is that ppl just sit there swiping not actually caring to talk so youll match w a bunch of hot people and nothing will go anywhere adsajkdahdsjkadskaj. hinge or bumble were way better imo. other than that yeah idk you have to remember on these dating apps these guys are also probably going on dates and doing other stuff so it sucks but sometimes theyll just disappear off the face of the earth. or they just want to talk and not be serious about anything. like idk i had maybe 2 or 3 convos going while i was talking to whos now my bf on hinge and going on our first few dates and i let them die out bc i had found someone and its kinda just how it goes idk. but ik this is just a lot of logical explanations and ur feelings might not listen to them, it was really frustrating at times for me on those apps but also convos just naturally can lead nowhere bc u guys arent a good fit together too bc it feels trite but looks/physical attraction is only part of the equation. i was joking w my friends and i think on here too that there were too many guys i was juggling that they couldnt keep track when id talk about them bc thats really how you have to do it on these apps, its like you have to just have 20 convos going for even one to go anywhere let alone an actual date and i had a lot of similar experience w a really hot guy who was nice/fun to talk to just disappearing i wish i knew what to say to make it sting less bc honestly idk how i took that all in stride adshajkdshdkjsa i guess the small ego boosts of even matching w these hot guys was enough to keep my hopes up as shallow as that sounds. take the conversations on the apps seriously ofc otherwise it isnt good for anything anyways but not too seriously that you let yourself get your hopes up or attached at least before setting/going on a first date. easier said than done ik its hard to kind of explain away feelings esp as a stranger i hope this longwinded ramble helps even a little bit tho

#asks #anonymous

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saetoru · 2 years ago

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I just read chapter 265 and omg😭😭i completely agree that ken is not doing mikey’s character the best rn. Like I literally love mikey to death and ik people are gonna make him out to be the true villain now🥲Like I just saw a tweet that said mikey is the reason that baji is dead now and i just don’t agree at all, I genuinely don’t think that mikey knew what exactly he was agreeing to when talking to kisaki like baji was literally one of his best friends and he wouldn’t have wanted him to die like that🥲but he did kill kazutora in past timelines, so he wasn’t in the best headspace at that time BUT he also wasn’t friends or knew takemichi in the previous timelines either so hopefully the next chapter is his admiration for takemichi and how he wants to do better/ some kind of redemption for his past timelines🥲sorry if this was confusing, i’m not the best at writing out my thoughts like this 😭

WHOEVER SAUD THAT DOESNT UNDERSTAND MIKEY LIKE US BESTIE !!!! NOT AT ALL

no but i think what upset me a lot about this chapter is that we’ve always seen mikey’s dark impulse as a part of him that serves as his one obstacle from building toman to what he wants and what is was meant to be. almost every single timeline consists of mikey’s dark impulse and kisaki’s manipulation being the reason why his gang turns corrupt u know ?? it’s the part of him that makes him need “saving” in the first place because besides that, he’s an otherwise good kid who wants to protect his friends and more or less follow his brothers footsteps and create a place for delinquents. mikey’s always shown a compassionate side underneath every thing he does that’s one of the main reasons why so many ppl want him to be saved and have a happy ending—he’s a genuinely good guy despite his past and his struggles. but this new chapter waters him down to someone who just only cares about strength and building toman by any means necessary. and maybe this is only to show his growth later on, but idk it upsets me to think that he’d have that mindset in the first place because i don’t like to think using darkness as a means of growth was ever a part of mikey’s character bc the main reason he looked up to his brother was bc of how he lead delinquents and created an age for them. the first time he met takemichi he said delinquents clean up their own messes and he “doesn’t see what’s so wrong with that.” like he doesn’t see toman as a way to rise to the top to have power over ppl, it’s literally his way of protecting his friends and creating a place for delinquents to have a family where they’re strong to stay that way AND THIS BASICALLY ERASES THAT and implies his drive for toman had other motives AND IT UPSETS ME A LOT

#tr spoilers #tr 265 #wakui give mikey justice #NOW.#rn 😐

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avengeeddie · 2 years ago

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got some thoughts™️ about eddies death scene and like...

cant stop imagining if that was steve. NOT THAT I WANTED STEVE TO DIE but like it just felt more like it shouldve been steve that sacrificed himself for the group and esp dustin after all of his growth and character development throughout the series.

RMR THE YOU DIE I DIE SCENE. I DO. him dying in dustins arms and what eddie said but instead it being steve like joking about how he was the best goddamn babysitter huh and telling dustin to look out for his friends and them to all take of each other now that he wont be around to do it anymore and that he loves him is the the way i couldve seen steve going out.

a goddamn hero who went from caring only about himself and popularity to caring more about the wellbeing of his friends and fighting tooth and nail for the ppl hes grown to love and care about.. and that got pushed onto eddie.. idk if this makes sense but like

eddie was obviously written to die and thats... boring and predictable to have happened.. while steve (who ik was written with the purpose to be killed s1 but joe keery brought more to the table that kept steve around) has grown and shown multiple times that he would put his life on the line for his found family and that happening wouldve made..sense in a way and been so emotional and powerful..like the only reason eddies scene and death was so sad was bc eddie was a character that i (and a lot of ppl seeing how he came out the gate swinging as a new fan fave) loved so immensely but we only knew him for a season..

like if i didnt care about eddie his death wouldve meant nothing idve been like 'zamn that sucks anyways wheres (insert any other main character) hope theyre okay!!' and im sure after seeing that ppl who were completely normal and not at all insane about eddie (COULDNT BE ME) were.

but like if itd been steve itd have really fucked ppl up and the characters as well.. like eddie dying and no one but dustin acknowleding it does nothing for the story as a whole just for s4 whereas steve dying wouldve affected everyone and hed have been mentioned and remembered and itd have pushed everyone on to kill vecna for taking out one of their friends their family (not to say what hes done to max wont and also eddies death cant)

but for the cast and writers to go on about carnage and losing main characters and then have just.. eddie die (dont care about brenner or jason fuck them glad theyre gone) ... feels flat and too easy to just move on from but still get a death that hurts but overall doesnt affect the story or characters as much as a main character dying wouldve and is a total cop out.

also steve randomly talking about his future and thinking about having a family and a life free of the upside down and then the line about them not making it out of this felt like they were leading to him sacrificing himself for his friends bc again he cares more about them then himself.

all of this is not say that steve shouldve died instead of eddie just that eddies death and how he went out protecting the group and dying in dustins arms specifically feels like it belonged to steve.. idk idk lads just have lots of thoughts and feelings about this

#stranger things #st #st spoilers #txt #shows #this is all just stream of consciousness and complete rambling but had to get it out #also its been 2 days without eddie and to think i have a whole life to live without him is .... home of phobic #it will always be missing eddie THE BABYGIRL OF THE CENTURY munson hours in this household (my brain)

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blurays · 3 years ago

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sorry for having the most depressing existential crisis ever by myself but kind of worse than feeling cursed for dying is feeling like ok well illness is not a moral determination on me or else four year olds wouldnt be getting the same thing but that means its just random which means things are just Bad for no reason at all

and like im so Aware of it and it feels like no one else is and it feels like insane like i guess apparently it is considered Wrong to focus on it and i mean its not like i want to sit around being unhappy but i cant understand how it’s not logical to be like just. incredibly sad forever about all this other than the fact that being miserable is not fun but it’s really just. insane to think that idk this sounds fake deep lol but like i read about some university department news and im like not belittling academia blah but its like there are people who dedicate their lives to studying x subject and im supposed to pick something and do that like some career and pretend it matters? when i wont live long enough to idk have the life anyone else does

its not like i know what people should say but im tired of no one knowing what to say im tired of feeling like idk anyone who understands it im tired of struggling to explain that sometimes i just have very strong moments of not giving a shit about twitter drama bc im more focused on Mortality As A Concept or my stomach hurting all the time or my arm rotting so that it scrapes against the joint... im tired of knowing i probably wont ever be as old as my older brother even and then having ppl tell me i need to live in the moment like im not desperately aware lol. im tired of people not understanding or caring that it comes and goes because sometimes i can repress it but sometimes i cant

even if i dont die Soon which feels very vague to me like i was supposed to be thrilled at the concept of 3-7 years it’s like. no one is ever going to understand it and it feels like people don’t even care or try.. it just makes them uncomfortably e and they think im making a big deal of it and using it or something.. which like whatever i get its not like i go around comforting everyone especially now and ik im not the center of everyones universe. but its like okay everyone else wants to avoid it but i cant because i cant even read a book watch a tv show whatever without some casual mention of cancer. because its some entertaining side thing in everyones lives but for me im simply focusing on it too much

like i dont want to be The Sick Girl really especially because to get any sympathy you have to be very happy about it and very constantly talented at something which is hard, when you are in pain all the time and very aware of the death your brain is soon about to cause u at any possible moment, but i dont know what else to do lol. maybe meds will help but idk :) i want to be optimistic but its like i dont think we can talk therapy our way out of this one !

idk why im writing this lol im just tired of trying im rly at my limit like... hearing “i think you overthought it” yeah well. dying will do that to you

i know describing myself as dying isnt rly making me any more appealing to be friends with but im just sad . cool. its not like i would super want to be friends with someone who was miserable all the fucking time but on the other side its also like wow im having fun feeling so entirely isolated

i wish i was a different person mostly. maybe if i was more graceful this would be more fun & like sympathy garnering instead of being like very lonely and my bones hurt etc

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percyjacksonfan3 · 4 years ago

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The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! - how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST - Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

#lau rereads pjo #the last olympian is my favourite book for a REASON #honestly every line is killer #so much subtext to read into #the dialogue #the relationships are dialed up to 11 #every character is so on point #the battle strategies too? are just so interesting?#I just adore it #Tay don't read any of this yet cause it's all spoilers #alright I'm gonna go write fic to express these feelings now #tlo #the last olympian #pjo #pjato #percy jackson

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willowistic22 · 4 years ago

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Before I start my main topic on this post, I don’t want y’all to get the wrong idea. I LOVE Sprace as much as the next person. The whole Manhattan and Brooklyn are in love stuff has me wEAK. But lemme tell you abt another Manhattan and Brooklyn love that SOMEHOW goes unspoken of

Dare I say,,,,

IKESHOT

Sprace is an amazing ship and I love them but Ikeshot is actually an awesome ship and I encourage everyone to give it a try if you haven’t. And if you have and still don’t vibe with it then that’s ok. My hugest respect to y’all who have given the time to try and vibe with it but just genuinely can’t because ik we can’t all like the same things.

Now for the ones who wants to vibe with it... let’s talk business

*rolls up my non existence sleeves*

Brooklyn boys are tough aight. We’ve all established it. So Hotshot is no exception in the whole tough dude club if that even exists but if it doesn’t let’s just pretend it does :) Doesn’t matter what your headcanon his rank as a Brooklyn newsies. Second in command after Spot? The tough bodyguard dude? Just Spot’s bestie in general whilst sellin’ papes’? Or just a random newsies in the bunch of the Brooklyn kids but is like tol and buff af? (i’m 99.52% that we’ve agreed Hotshot is hella tall and buff) Or your normal newsies hc are mostly modern ones like me. He’s still Hotshot that we all know and love.

My headcanon is that he’s a little stiff and uptight with the whole ‘i’m tough as hell move outta the way or i kick you where the sun shines!’. So that’s him in general. But much like what most ppls headcanons for Spot, Hotshot too has a soft spot in him that not many ppl see.

And then along came Ike.

I feel like most ppl will headcanon the twins as chaotic bros. And y’know what? I vibe with it! Although I headcanon Ike is slightly more sensible and responsible than Mike even though he’s like younger than Mike by 13 minutes or 12 I forgot which number I decided lol I’ll go check later.

They cause a lot of trouble. pretty chill at taking life like mostly taking everything as a joke. a skinny bean pole. no one thinks the two are tough and well, they never want to be seen as tough dudes so it’s ok. But can deck a person if someone messes with their brother (loving brothers are my shit I will hold that love till the day I die).

Idk how but Ike accidentally met Hotshot. Hotshot was not so fond to meet Ike the first time around, tough dude (^TM) thing y’know. Ike having the annoying genes in him is being, you guessed it, annoying. But they managed to hold a conversation. Ike was wHIPPED. He went back to Mike and was like ‘yoooooooo that dude is hot aS FUCK BRO’ and Mike just goes ‘.... yeah ok?’. Hotshot was surprised Ike was not at all intimidated by him and was impressed that his annoying aura kinda like... entertained him? intrigued him? made him kinda angry and want to punch him in the face? maybe all three of them at once. But whatever it is Hotshot is FEELINGS THINGS.

Fast forward to the future, the do the hanging out thing. Doesn’t matter how you think it goes they just hang out. One thing let to another and now they make out regularly and are exclusive to each other. It’s cute. Like Sprace, Ikeshot has adorable height differences. Even if Ike is on his toes to kiss him, Hotshot still needs to bend down to reach his lips because Ike head only reaches Hotshot’s chest or sumn along the lines. (can you tell how unprepared i am in writing this post lmaooo)

Hotshot is still stiff and still being the tough guy everyone all knows. But he won’t push away Ike if he ever comes running to him for a hug, and it’s fucking cute considering his face full on smack on his chest while his hand wraps around Hotshot’s hips. He looks up with the stupidest grin ever and Hothsot can’t help but to smile at him plus hug him back. Y’know those kinds of hugs where the smol one wraps around the tol ones hips and looks up at them, palcing their chin on tol’s chest while smiling and then tol one tries to wrap around smol’s shoulder because it’s the only body part they can reach with the hugging position they’re in? Yeah, that kinda hugs. Bonus: Hotshot leans down to grab Ike’s thighs and lifts him up of the ground. Ike wraps his legs around Hotshot while he’s hoisted up to the air with his hands around Hotshot’s neck and then they kiss and I go AJHFGAHSFGHKSF UKCNHKSRGCKEGR UKHF JUST THINKING ABT IT AKJLFHKJLABFKJ NJKHCJKLSH UH UKAEHCMLKUAH ULIWYRI

with this all set up there’s a potential for protective brother Mike and I love him with all my hearts. He’s no longer intimidated (or probably never was in the first place) knowing his brother got Hotshot wrapped around his hands. So one time when Hotshot arrives looking for Ike but found the other dude, Mike goes up to him and threatens him to not hurt Ike or Mike will hUNT HIM DOWN. Ike slaps Mike for even saying that to Hotshot and they go one their marry way.

In short: Sprace is cool but Ikeshot can be just as cool if ppl just wants to give it a try to vibe with it. I gave it a shot, and there’s no going back for me so it’s better if I drag other’s in this Ikeshot hole that I’ve dug for myself.

I wrote this essay bcs:

Ikeshot needs more content and recognition

I am kinda piss i didn’t even get one note on my ikeshot fic but that’st he first angst fic i’ve ever written and maybe it’s better that way bcs yeah i kinda cringe at it too oop- (is this me wanting attention? probably. do you need to project it? no really but donations are appreciated:))))))

I love all romantic and platonic relationship newsies fics but I need to see more FAMILY FICS (and i don’t just mean found family. I love that trope but I need more of Mike sharing stories to their friends how Ike frequently pees his pants when he was five and then Ike took revenge by telling everyone how Mike really got that huge scar on his hand. Or them talking shit about their cousins. Or Mike just smacking Ike’s face outta nowhere for no reason at all, he just feels like hitting Ike for some reason bcs that’s what real brothers do)

Anyways I hope you like this essay that i’ve used as a procrastinating mechanism from my writers block (the irony of me saying that I got writers block and can’t write the next chapter of my newsies au or continue finishing the next modern newsies fic i need to post only to go to tumblr to write this essay abt Ikeshot being awesome)

hopefully i can finish my newest modern newsies fic tonight so i can post it tomorrow so bye bye!

Edit:

OMG WAT THERE IS ONE NOTE ON THAT IKESHOT FIC I TAKE IT BACK. THANK YOU RANDOM DUDE ON TUMBLR FOR LIKING IT AND MAKING ME FEEL VALID BCS I WAS REALLY SAD WHEN IVE WORKED HARD ON IT AND IT TURNS OUT IT DIDNT GOT ENOUGH ATTENTION LIKE MY OTHERS IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO FORGET YOU UGHH I FEEL SO BAD AND FEEL LIKE A HUGE BITCH PLS FORGIVE MEEEE

I’d tag you but I’m a huge pussy ://

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grxceblqckthxrn · 5 years ago

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hi @chocolatecarstairs came up with these post-CHOG questions and i really want to answer them because im sad that im finished reading it :((

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW

what was your favorite part, 1 or 2?

Honestly I loved both parts, but I’d say I loved part two just a little bit more for the time that James wasn’t under the curse anymore and LOVED Cordelia

which scene in the book was your favorite?

EVERY scene that had Matthew and James being wholesome parabatai in it!!! my favourite chapter in this book was Blue Ruin, the one after Grace takes the bracelet back from James (aside from the whispering room ofc).

what scene (or scenes) made you cry the most?

ok ngl i didnt spend much of this book crying, but the only scene that actually made me tear up was when james was dying and matthew could feel it and jesse (WHO I FUCKING LOVED MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD) gave him his last breath :(((((

what scenes were unsatisfactory?

there were not enough Christopher scenes (but to be fair, even if the entire book was just Christopher it still wouldnt be enough for me)

but fr, i cant think of any off the top of my head but i’ll edit this if i do later

what made you laugh the most?

matthew!! james!! thomas!! christopher!! also some of the things Jesse said

what bored you?

this wasn’t boring, but the whole charles/alastair plot line didn’t have me very invested. I did love the alastair/ cordelia scenes tho, so it was just charles that was the problem

also no offense to james bc he was my first actual fictional crush after reading TMH/NBS but like whenever he talked about being in grace i would literally zone out lol the bracelet curse makes him so boring but whenever he isnt in the curse/ is with someone who is NOT grace i just!! love him!!

what disappointed you?

cassie honestly had me kinda shipping matthew/cordelia for a solid FIVE SECONDS there when he stepped in to dance with her after james left her standing there, but that was one of the only scenes that made me feel like they had natural chemistry (along with the scene where he drops her off at her house). I felt like the during the rest of their interactions in the book, cordelia was kind of uncomfortable, which made me really sad because even tho she has every right to feel that way, i felt bad for matthew. I kind of want him to fall for someone else completely and for it to be reciprocated. also, i just really want for matthew and cordelia to become good friends because i feel like they could have such great natural chemistry if matthew didnt love her.

what is the top thing you wish had been done differently?

see above.

what things did you predict that came true?

JAMES BURNING DOWN BLACKTHORN MANOR I FUCKING SAID HE WOULD DO IT TWO FUCKING YEARS AGO IF YALL WANT ME TO LINK THE THEORY LMK

what are some things that were really unexpected?

ok there’s quite a few things here so bear w me babes:

- James genuinely loving cordelia from the start. I wasn’t expecting him to naturally feel nothing for grace at all, so i was expecting a slow burn jordelia, but finding out that he actually loves her makes me so happy but the end where cordelia thinks he was just pretending breaks my heart :(((

-matthew liking cordelia lol definitely was not expecting another parabatai love triangle but i hope it doesnt last. i do think it adds to the plot and i love it, it just hurts to see matthew so emo :(((

-I was expecting to like cordelia as a character, but i ended up LOVING her so fucking much???? she’s so three dimensional to me, and it’s interesting to see how her personality adapts around different characters as people adapt around different social circles irl

-liking jesse as much as i did

-ok so james’ entire character was a surprise to me. it’s so fascinating to see how the bracelet actually affected his personality.If you recall him in The Midnight Heir from TBC. he’s like an entirely different person. i still loved him in TMH but i went into CHOG thinking that if he was gonna be like that the entire time i’d probably get over him really quickly. i was pleasantly surprised by how much i ended up loving him even more tho

-i didn’t expect oliver hayward to die and im going to stay emo about it

- Christopher is so much more clear headed than he was made out to be prior?? like there were so many scenes where he was fully there and when he defended anna to alastair i just kfdsnfkld i love him

are there characters that you didn’t like before that you like now?

yikes umm... Alastair, maybe? he’s somewhat okay to me now, I dont dislike him as much as I used to. ooh and Hypatia Vex. the only scene i remember liking her in QOAAD was when she helped out kit, ty and dru (me, going a whole TSC post without somehow mentioning kit? not possible)

are there characters that you liked before that you don’t like now?

I started CHOG ready to give Grace the benefit of the doubt, and I was surprised by how timid and shy she seemed at the start, but it was interesting to see how it was all an act and how she doesn’t have an actual personality yet. one could argue that she actually does love james, but i doubt it at this point. i dont hate her yet, even tho she IS fucking up james’ life, but she’s on thin fucking ice.

who was your favorite new character?

does new character mean completely new or just never been in a novella new? because for the first, it would be Cordelia (i LOVE her sm!!) and other wise it would be james, matthew and co. also!!! jesse!!

what places in the book would you like to visit?

that hell dimension sounds pretty lit ngl

did you like the ending?

ok so. we KNOW that jordelia is gonna be endgame. cassandra clare always takes the hardest path to get there, but when has she not delivered? it’s just a matter of waiting. so, yes, i did like the ending in sense of the plot because it was a great twist, but i also feel really bad for all of them even tho ik they’re eventually gonna be together :(((

what did you think of the epilogue?

i wasnt surprised, since we alr know that Tatiana is shady asf, but i just really wanna know how she partnered up with a GREATER demon like lol wtf. again, im really happy in terms of plot with this

what are your thoughts on the engagement?

i feel so. fucking bad. for cordelia. and james too, even tho he’s under the bracelet’s curse so he doesnt even KNOW he’s being manipulated. but i love how even through the curse, james still loves cordelia in his own way.

what did you want to see that didn’t happen?

matthew getting therapy periodt

umm honestly i just want more “merry thieves” content like i just love. all of them.

what do you wish had been resolved that wasn’t?

i really want matthew to tell james or cordelia what happened because i just need him to be loved and supported lol i want to give him a hug.

what is your favorite pairing as of now?

jordelia!!! and lucie and jesse are kind cute rn, and i like them if theyre gonna be pining after eachother but i feel like if they actually get together i wont like the relationship as much.

which characters would you like to see more of in the next book?

CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER CHRISTOPHER

ANNA!!! i lovED reading about her she’s so badass

matthew!! jesse!! also i wanna see more of those bitchy girls lol just so we can see anna or cordelia tell them to stfu

what is one character whose death you would undo if you could?

ok i know that jesse is still very much a conscious character despite being dead but like,,, i want him to be the way he was before and also i want him to come back to life

and barbara!! she seemed so sweet

which characters got bad/unsatisfactory endings?

ummm barbara? i cant really say much on this yet bc its still only the first book and when has the first book ever ended up with anyone being happy.

oh but also can we sign a petition to make cassie let matthew actually survive the series because my heart aches just at the THOUGHT of eventually having to read a scene where he dies

which characters got what they deserved?

literally. none of them yet. :(

who should have died but didn’t?

Tatiana lol also lowkey charles but i also feel pity him to an extent

what plotline are you most excited to see in the next book?

okay the entire jesse plot has me hooked because i LOVE his character. also i love the bracelet plot but its making me MAD because i just want james to be happy but

what is one scene that you wish hadn’t happened, but you know was unavoidable?

THE ONE WHERE GRACE PUTS THE BRACELET BACK ON JAMES. i mean obv there was no way he was completely done with grace, but i literally got so sad at that part like why HIM of all people smfh let him be happy

which pairing do you like the least?

alastair x charles, grace x james, lucie x matthew bc neither of them actually like either imo lol

what are some theories you have for chain of iron?

- not necessarily for COI but i think matthew is gonna get exiled and turned into made into a mundane

- the bracelet will break (?)

- jesse will come back to life (like actual life) at the end of the book

-grace is gonna do something to help the main characters, making it hard for us to hate her.

what characters do you think should have gotten more plot time?

lol are yall gonna hate me if i say christopher again (also anna)

anyways this was really fun!!!!! PLEASE ASK ME STUFF ABOUT MY OPINIONS AND STUFF OR JUST SAY ANYTHING ABT THE BOOK BC IM DESPERATE TO TALK TO PPL ABOUT IT

#chain of gold spoilers #chain of gold #james herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Matthew Fairchild #lucie herondale #anna lightwood #thomas lightwood #alastair carstairs #charles fairchild #christopher lightwood #grace blackthorn #jesse blackthorn #tatiana blackthorn #the last hours #tlh #cassandra clare #the last hours spoilers #chog spoilers

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rainparadefromhell · 2 years ago

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i'll answer some random ones, i'm bored and i realized none of u know anything abt me lol

1. probably that i look mean and antisocial

6. god i would love to see as many places as possible but probably spain bc i studied spanish last year in college and was supposed to go there in high school but it got cancelled bc of covid

9. fall ! it used to be summer (idk what i was thinking, don't fuck w being sweaty all the time anymore) but i also looove winter and the beginning of spring. basically i love that time in between the seasons a lot

10. i don't think everyone should read these lol but my favs are the darkest minds and the simon snow series !

11. idontwannabeyouanymore (billie eilish) and waisting my young years (london grammar) are sick, they make me sick (there are more probably just can't think of any rn)

12. a very artistic person, they wanna be an animator, we both have the same dumb sense of humor, we get really attached to fictional characters, very supportive and trustworthy

15. mamma mia - idk it's just a great movie and i remember watching it when i was like 7 or 8 yo so it holds a lot of nostalgia for me

16. honestly this is probably something i need to work on but i'd die if someone didn't think i was one of the funniest ppl they know.... it's bad ik

22. LOL it was a 2009 hot pink nokia with a hello kitty sticker. fun fact my friend had the exact same phone so we needed that sticker to tell them apart

25. any pasta. i'm not joking it's a problem i could eat pasta every day of my life and i would. not. get. sick. of. it.

27. nhie s3.... idk what to tell u benjamin and devi just do something to my brain idk idk

28. i wanna have a pet racoon and a squirrel, i've always said this. have u seen their little faces and paws??

31. honestly any love confession that isn't done right (is overly lovey dovey) is automatically cringe to me. that's why i gravitate to ships like ben and devi bc they're a lot more subtle and don't make me want to wash my eyes with bleach.

33. idk if this is an oddity but i always cut all of my food into tiny pieces first thing before i start eating. i just hate having to cut things while i'm eating, it makes me angry lolol. i also feel this weird need to proof read everything a million times and rewrite stuff bc i think it looks ugly?? lol myb it's just writer's brain

35. hope u are doing bad ❤

36. don't say shit that you don't want to be said to you!! and this is something i hold onto even on social media. i keep my thoughts to myself if they're mean. ppl feel the need to comment on everythingg these days like damn what happened to inner monologue? have some decorum pls!

40. usually i lay down and try to watch a show/movie or talk to my friends... i'm bad w coping mechanisms, i use distractions too much which leads to maladaptive daydreaming sometimes... i'm the worst person to deal w stress i just can't do it. my brain then explodes and i get an anxiety attack :(

41. just finish college bc i am so done with school i don't want to do it anymore!!! i would love to attend language courses in the future bc i just LOVE languages and learning abt them. i'm actually studying english rn but i am pretty much fluent in it and have been almost all my life, studied spanish and can understand a lot of it but can't really speak it that well. i also studied german in school for 9 years but basically don't know it at all which is embarassing 💀 i would love to properly learn spanish and also myb french oh and i love norwegian !!

44. pretty good at the moment. i didn't really get along w my mom in high school tho (we are very different ppl)

45. i played the piano for 6 years (hated it lmfao). i taught myself to play guitar and ukulele from the internet and idk the harp has always been so beautiful to me but like those things are expensivee

46. in high school - nadine franklin and now idk honestly? i feel like i'm in a transitional period of my life. we'll see.

47. country - it just makes me laugh lol but lovee dolly parton

49. bella hadid 💀 i have nothing against her and she seems sweet but i just can't understand being so obsessed w someone when they're a model and their job is to just look good. like...okay ig?

50. meeting cool ppl that get me and talking abt fictional characters that i love. i love tumblr!

50 Q’s

1.) describe yourself through the eyes of a stranger? 2.) what is a quality you’d like to change about yourself? 3.) what is your worst potential fear for the future? 4.) which television series do you use as a form of escapism? 5.) share a secret about yourself? 6.) if you could choose any place in the world to visit, where would it be? why? 7.) what advice would you give your childhood self? 8.) describe how you envision your ideal life partner? 9.) what is your favorite environmental season? why? 10.) what’s one book you’d suggest every person should read? 11.) what is one song that’s able to bring you to tears? 12.) describe your best friend? 13.) what was the premise of your last dream? 14.) what’s your favorite warm beverage? 15.) name one musical album that greatly impacted your life? why? 16.) what’s your favorite form of flattery? 17.) what’s your favorite painting? and describe how it makes you feel? 18.) describe your personal style? 19.) what was the last concept that inspired you? 20.) who was your very first artistic inspiration? 21.) how long have you used tumblr for? how has your style changed over the years? 22.) what was your first cell phone? 23.) what is your favorite fruit flavor? 24.) whom would you resurrect from the afterlife? which 3 questions would you ask them? 25.) if you could choose only one meal to eat for the remainder of your life, which would you choose? 26.) which of the 7 deadly sins do you struggle with the most? and which the least? 27.) your latest obsession? and why? 28.) if you could domesticate any animal as your pet, which would you choose? 29.) what’s your least favorite smell? 30.) favorite mythological creature? and why? 31.) name a scene from a movie that makes you cringe? 32.) favorite piece of memorabilia you own? 33.) your personal favorite oddity about yourself? 34.) favorite concert/show you’ve attended? 35.) what’s one thing you would tell to the last person who betrayed you? 36.) your favorite mantra to live by? 37.) do you have any strange habits? 38.) what’s your favorite white-noise to fall asleep to? 39.) what is your favorite gemstone? why? 40.) how do you choose to cope when you’re upset? 41.) what are you currently trying to accomplish? 42.) what’s your favorite item you’ve purchased secondhand? 43.) describe your personality is only 3 words? 44.) how is your relationship with your parents? 45.) an instrument you aspire to learn how to play? 46.) relate yourself to one movie character? 47.) least favorite music genre? why? 48.) which animal would you be the most terrified to encounter? 49.) name a public figure you find to be overrated? why? 50.) what purpose do you get out of using tumblr?

#ask #ask game

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