#bc so many hate posts literally. lie. about her character. did you watch the show or did you black out when the woman had genuine flaws as

[stuffyflowers]

genuinely tempted to rename my blog “katherine pulaski apologist” I’m so sick of y’all 😭😭😭

[meimae]

Look at me, not being on time for my April Immersion Overview as is the usual. (・w・;

First, little blog updates to get out of the way:

I reached 100 followers! Got an influx of people checking out my 1 year update post, and got plenty of nice compliments on my data collection.

For those of you wondering just why I keep up with so much data, it's mostly because it can get really hard to notice how much you're improving in a language especially with something like immersion learning that for people who don't get it feels like a waste of time or a time sink.

Graphs showing consistency, improvement in reading speed, increasing vocabulary counts, and generally just seeing numbers grow turns language learning more fun and motivating for me, and if as a bonus, it encourages someone to try immersion learning then that would be cool!

With that said, whether you're here as a fellow language learner, graphs enthusiast (笑), or just want some Japanese media recommendations, ようこそ! 

Also, made a tiny DP change - it’s チト from 少女週末旅行. Pretty sure it’s the first manga series I ever finished in Japanese (not the first one I started since ちはやふる is still ongoing), and I always felt a bit of a ☆connection☆ with  her - between her book-loving personality and being a no-nonsense kind of person, there was no way for me not to enjoy her character. Great beginner anime/manga if you’re not into most beginner recommendations.

-☆-

April has been a pretty good immersion month, as I was able to dip my toes in a variety of media. A bit competitive, too! The club I joined has been pulling all the stops to get to the Top 20 Immersion Leaderboard in it’s first month. I was able to snag the 9th spot among a bunch of people of different comprehension levels (the majority being N1+ since they’re able to comprehend much more and in turn stand longer immersion hours). Lots of tiny complaints though of potential “whitenoising” content (”listening” and “reading” but not comprehending very well just to get a large number to post), but really what can you do? People lie all the time on the internet. Besides, it’s internet points that doesn’t do anything beyond being a little shiny I guess.

Enough about that, let’s get into the nitty-gritty details you came here for!

ANIME

フルーツバスケット

Might need to rewatch this one. Felt like I didn’t connect with the characters the way the rest of its fandom has. I’m kinda sad about it, since I normally love Slice of Life and Fantasy, and I know this is one of my friend’s diehard shows.

ラブライブ! School Idol Project S2

A filler anime to watch tbh. Nice and easy enough to follow for beginners. Pretty good songs. With regards to it being a show about music and moe, I still 100% prefer K-On! if I’m going to be honest, but for a show about non-toxic idols, it’s good!

魔法少女まどか☆マギカ

First read this as English translated manga when I was 13 or something. Mistakes were made. Let’s all just agree to throw キュウベえ into a pit of fire and never talk about it again. Great ending and a show that really reworked the magical girl genre. But seriously, I was traumatized by マミ’s death then and now, help.

四月は君の嘘

Already knew what was going to happen even before watching this so I didn’t ugly cry like I was expecting. Still got that awful sinking feeling though. 10/10 would recommend for a good cry. Also, I’m planning to read the manga, might enjoy that more, because I’ve always liked it more than anime actually. *shocked pikachu face*

ホリミヤ

Watched before I even finished the manga which felt like a mistake at first until I realized that it perfectly stops where I stopped reading. Nice and comfy anime, the kind I would have loved as a teen. Fun animation too, making parts very dramatic even though it wasn’t really that deep of an issue even in the manga. Just teens feeling feelings. Still salty that we lose bad boy styled 宮村, but I get why it had to happen.

AUDIOBOOKS

氷菓

Second re-listen. I understand it fine, but it’s very easy to drift off when you can’t catch all the words so I had to replay often. Will have to mine more from the anime/book.

君の名は

I mined from the anime, and was really pleased to be able to follow all 6 hours of this audiobook perfectly fine. Will need to read the book, because I realized just how seamless reading it would be after listening to it with hardly any issue.

BOOKS

キッチェン

Completed! Read my thoughts about it and see my stats on this post.

君の膵臓を食べたい

Still trudging on with this one. It’s not a bad story, it’s pretty well written actually, I just made the mistake of watching both the anime and live adaptation first, so I know exactly what’s going to happen and it’s killing my motivation to keep reading. I guess reading the book first before watching the movie still applies in any language with me. Really need to 頑張れ and finish so I can move on. 

三日間の幸福

Started reading towards the end of the month, mostly because I realized that every chapter is only 5000-15000 characters long, and I was able to read up to 40k in a day with Island most days. Only two chapters read so far though because I got distracted by manga, but it’s shaping up to be a really good plot and potentially a really sad one, too, so I’m interested.

DRAMA

花ざかりの君たちへ イケメンパラダイス

Heard this was a classic so I gave it a try. Loved 生田 斗真’s character in this one the most especially all his internal dialogue acted out. Also, 小栗 旬 in anything is bound to be a good watch. Simple and fun watch. They dragged the ending so much though lmao 

ごくせん

Look, I see 松本 潤, I click. Definitely the kind of show you should watch for some great life advice. Planning to watch the 2nd and 3rd seasons even if there is a terrible lack of 松本 潤, because I love my strong female protagonists, and man, ヤンクミ is such a great character. Need to read the manga, too, if I can find it.

極主夫道

Oof, this was kind of hard. The yakuza talk was throwing me off, but the rest of it was enjoyable. Not really plot heavy as I thought it was going to be. The comedy side of it was fun and predictable after the first few episodes. Overall, pretty good slice of life, family story with a twist.

MANGA

Read a bunch of manga this month, mostly because I am struggling to find the next vn to read.

おやすみプンプン

Read a couple of volumes (6-7). This manga is so good, but it’s so depressing I need to stop to take a breather every once in a while. Please don’t leave any spoilers. The club has been reacting to me reading this, and it has mostly been a lot of crying emotes. It’s both been enjoyable to see and really worrying. 笑

チェンソーマン

Club recommendation. Only read the 1st volume so far. I really need to get into more 少年 anime/manga. That’s currently my 苦手 genre which is awful because literally all the top anime/manga is 少年 help. I just can’t enjoy it much still even though it’s comprehensible to me.

ちはやふる 中学生編

Read Vol. 1, chill read to me at this point after reading 45 volumes of the regular manga. Look, it’s my favorite 幼馴染 manga in baby format, of course I’m going to read this! 太一 has been a flake way before season 3 confirmed. Don’t come at me たいちはや stans bc I also like his character.

約束のネバーランド

Volume 7. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I heard the anime for season 2 sucked, so I’m avoiding it like the plague. This is 少年 how am I enjoying this and not everything else what.

ヲタクに恋は難しい

Enjoyed the anime hated the movie why did they make it a musical that sucked (ps i normally love musicals hated this one) 

The オタク jargon is kinda hard to read suprisingly but I do enjoy this ship very much. It’s a lighthearted take to otaku culture which is great because seriously it’s scary out there.

ツバサ -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-

It’s my childhood ship, obviously I will read this again (read in English several years ago). Still as plot twisty as I remember it being (now at a bonus hard level reading it in Japanese 笑). Really enjoyed reading this one (I finished it this May).

-☆-

I’m starting to really dislike furigana in manga. It was a great help as a beginner, but now it’s like training wheels that you can’t take off. I feel like the gains I’m getting from manga is much lower than it was when I first started which makes me both proud of how far I’ve come, but also sad because I love manga. Sad that I might have to start choose VNs over it, because it’s not going to challenge me as much going forward. I mean it didn’t stop me from reading a lot of it this month, but you get the picture.

VISUAL NOVELS

ISLAND

Completed! See my stats and read my long spoiler filled post here.

ファタモルガーナの館

Picked up this VN and finished two doors (15 hours) before stopping. On the fence about it, because it has been kind of predictable so far, and I don’t particularly enjoy the horror genre. That said, this is more psychological than anything, so it’s probably not that that’s putting me off. The language is not exactly difficult, too - maybe some oddly specific words because it is after all historical fiction (which is one of my favorite genres, btw), and 敬語 is definitely interesting to read for once after encountering so many お嬢様 characters in anime/drama so far. 

I think maybe it’s the conversations that are kind of dull - dots (silence) every few clicks that keeps breaking the flow of reading. Probably judging it really harshly too early, because it’s rated so high everywhere, and I just have high expectations. Definitely not dropping it yet though, just taking a break and testing a couple of other VNs before I settle with whatever I end up choosing. It is, after all, going to be another 50+ hour read, and I just don’t want to not enjoy the process, because having fun with the process is a huge part of immersion learning.

Let me know if you’ve read Fata and if I should continue! 

-☆-

That’s it for this month!

If you have any suggestions on what to watch and read next, please send me a reply, especially for VNs because I’m struggling over here.

[normadeathmond]

the spanish princess ep 2 thoughts

I’ve been enjoying all the reaction posts so here’s mine (spoilers included):

- I’ve had kind of a revelation this week regarding The Spanish Princess. This show is basically the modern day version of those dubiously accurate medieval historical chronicles.  Not only do we have extra supernatural elements (the cuuuuurse, prophetic dreams), but we also have the contemporary authors’ personal biases inserted all over the place, and the addition of mythical stories about the heroes (Catherine fighting at Flodden this week). For some reason, this has made me a lot more forgiving towards the show. (it probably also helps that my fave Maggie B is dead now, so I don’t have to worry about them shitting all over her anymore, and I don’t have a particularly strong attachment to any of the other historical figures depicted)

- erm wtf, did anyone else catch that scene with Maggie and Edmund de la Pole in the previously on that we’ve never seen before?? I guess this plotline was supposed to be included in episode one as well, which probably would’ve helped it feel a bit more developed and less like something they suddenly remembered had to be tied up from last year. The whole sequence of Edmund being reintroduced and killed off in less than five minutes was very rushed.

- I’m glad baby Henry’s death hasn’t been totally forgotten, but do we really need so many grief-stricken sex scenes between these two? These are supposed to be the years they’re deeply in love, let them have some happier sex

- ehh I’m not sure that Catherine’s big reveal to the council actually changes much. A very early pregnancy, possibly with a girl, doesn’t really make the line secure. I think the focus should have been on Henry’s own desire to prove himself in battle, which would also have added to the humiliation when Catherine successfully defeats the Scots while his military exploits fizzle out.

- I really like General Howard, Peter Egan is fantastic (albeit a bit too polished for a grouchy, uncouth soldier type)

- “and now this book is closed” - god I hope so, bc I hate Maggie’s plotline from last year. It was interminable watching her whinge about how unfair it was that the Tudors suspected her of plotting against them because she had always been the most loyal person ever, as though she was suffering from some kind of selective memory loss about literally being a spy for the Yorkist rebellion in The White Princess. ffs Maggie can be either a completely innocent woman unfairly maligned by the Tudors or she can be a badass Yorkist rebel, not both. 

- it seems her memory problems are back this episode because she goes storming off to complain to Catherine about Edmund de la Pole getting his head chopped off, conveniently forgetting than she was also heavily involved in his plot and her family is only out of the Tower thanks to Catherine interceding for her with Henry. Catherine was 100% in the right here, Edward of Warwick was innocent whereas Edmund de la Pole was a fully cognisant adult who spearheaded a revolt to take the throne (and likely would’ve had both Henry VII and Henry VIII killed if he had succeeded), so the idea that she’s suddenly heartless because she apologised for the former’s death but not the latter’s is ridiculous. The whole scene, including Maggie’s kids’ ‘whoomp here she goes again’ reactions, unintentionally have her coming off as rather hysterical.

- hopefully the rest of her story this season focuses on her mending her relationship with her sad silent son instead and possibly getting her leg over Thomas More

- ahhh Lina’s face when Catherine bitchily says she’ll be having a girl. Catherine’s not going to be able to stop herself from lashing out at her now that she has twin boys.

- first the clothes comment last episode, now they have Ursula saying Charles may not be good-looking but he’s rich as fuck. I guess she’s being set up as a gold-digger.

- is it just me or does the Anne Boleyn’s actress look a little bit like Charlotte Hope? The dress they had her in when Henry returns even looks like something Catherine would’ve worn in season one. I’ve no idea why they’ve brought the Boleyn girls in this early though – are they going to be sent to France then come back later? Henry still has to make his way through Anne Hastings, Bessie Blount and Mary Boleyn before he gets to Anne. The episode summaries make it look like his infidelities won’t start until episode four so he’s going to have to have a new girl every episode to get through them all.

- I’ve kind of come around on the whole Catherine-in-armour thing. Frock Flicks wrote an interesting article this week where they pointed out that while historically battle armour for women did not exist and women very rarely wore armour, depictions of women in armour have been around for a long time and would have existed in the Tudor period. In this pseudo-historical retelling of Catherine’s story mythologizing her as a warrior queen, it does make sense to carry on that visual tradition and have her armoured up.

- Unfortunately I think they did kind of undermine the visual impact of the armour on screen by focusing on it so heavily in the promos for the season. Possibly it wouldn’t have affected a casual viewer so much, but anyone who’s followed the show’s promo cycle has been seeing pictures and clips of Catherine in the armour for weeks now, and when she entered stomping down the corridor in her full battle gear it didn’t blow me away like the first look at that outfit should have done.

- I know this series is never going to have the budget of Game of Thrones, but Flodden was a disappointment, from the rousing speech (“mothers are warriors too, amirite ladies?”) to the battle itself. You can tell they really wanted this to be their big epic action sequence and unfortunately it felt underwhelming. I remember the battles in TWQ/TWP being much more impressive, for what was probably a similar budget.

- as soon as I saw how heavily pregnant Lina was this episode, I knew a  birth/battle juxtaposition was coming. I get what they were trying to do with the whole ‘childbirth is women’s battlefield’ theme, but the attempt to fake-out Lina’s death fell flat - there’s no way they were killing her off. (I’m not sure why she was giving birth in the hallway, with apparently no midwives, but it was inadvertently hilarious watching Maggie - the only one with any childbirth experience - try and talk her through it while the other three were basically no help at all.)

- also everyone being like “omg Princess Mary you can’t possibly be at the birth” felt so out of place given that Meg and Catherine were both hanging around a battlefield at the same time

- on the one hand I did like that Catherine didn’t end up being some amazing warrior just off instinct; she’s almost immediately pulled off her horse, staggers around looking confused as fuck and then is shocked when she actually kills someone. But on the other, what was the point of all the warrior queen build up if she barely even does anything useful on the battlefield? (also why did they have her kill someone who looked so much like James?? I’ve seen several people think she killed James herself and I thought that too until he was shown being taken down afterwards - it was needlessly confusing)

- JAAAAMES. I’m so sad he’s gone. Georgie Henley knocked it out the park this episode, especially in her big mourning scene. Although given how sweet he and Meg were this episode, and her comment about him being her best friend, it just makes the punch last episode seem even stranger.

- I’m so sad we were robbed of seeing Catherine try to send James’ corpse to Henry as a victory gift and have to be talked into sending just the coat. If you’re going to make her ride out in armour let her keep her savage penchant for gruesome war trophies!

- oop, Catherine absolutely fails to sell the lie that she’s pleased about Lina’s two boys, and Lina can definitely tell.

- with Maggie B gone, Wolsey is the new evil religious cockblocker in town!

- I would like twenty more scenes of Lina and Oviedo being cute and bitching about their work days thanks

- I like Catherine defending Howard to Henry. It would have been nice if there was more time to show the development of a begrudging respect between those two.

- overall I found this episode disappointing. The big sequences weren’t impressive in the way last week’s were and there weren’t enough character moments to make up for that. I’m still looking forward to the rest of the season though, especially Meg, Mary and Maggie’s storylines. 

[kaypeace21]

i LOVE your analysis especially byler ones so please don't take this as hate, it's the last thing i want to do. but while i love the byler theories do you actually think the duffers are smart enough to realize the potential/brave enough to follow through on the relationship. bc tbh i think our viewpoint is skewed i don't think anyone but byler shippers see the canon possibility. and also it really seems like m/leven is going to be endgame? just wanted to know more of your thought process

Even if byler never happens- I’m 100% sure mileven won’t be endgame XD. Regardless of byler, Mike and El are just not going to happen. (Even if they’re ‘dating’ in s4). I could try to explain the reasons why I think byler will be endgame though. I’ll give the cliffnotes version. This will probably be a mess- because focusing on all the reasons isn’t as good as analyzing , each reason as it’s own separate post, in depth). 

Why mileven isn’t endgame

- The duffers said, while filming ST, El was supposed to die in s1 (glad that didn’t happen). And this was also their plan when pitching their show ‘Montauk’ (later retitled ST), saying that the hypothetical  s2 sequel would be about the boys returning to their town 10 years later. Mileven was never ‘planned end-game’. They also describe mileven kissing but never mention the word ‘love’ like how Jancy was described in the Montauk pitch. Nancy’s bio says “ she will experience love for the first time.”  But when they describe mileven, they say, “If Mike is the Elliot of our show, Eleven is our “E.T.” Like that’s … not romantic, Duffers. And if it was supposed to be … WTF did you guys watch the same film? 0-O

- In the byler centric s2, the Duffers kept mileven separated. And the mileven kiss wasn’t written in the show. Millie pretty much said “they had to do it.” Much to Matt’s confusion but then the Duffers agreed. And used ‘every breath you take’ (a song about divorce), and just by coincidence their 2nd back-up  song was also a song about a divorce? Nah, they were trolling.

- Most of the women (Nancy & Max) in the show critique Mileven saying Mike treats her as if she’s stupid, can’t take care of herself, or as she is a possession. 

-in the first ep of s3 almost all the guys (who had/have gfs) Hopper, Lucas, and Dustin all criticize the mileven relationship and think it’s unhealthy.

Hopper says “ They’re spending entirely too much time together… It is constant.It is constant! Okay? That is not normal, that is not healthy! ”

Lucas mocks Mike, saying “ Oh El, I wish we could make out forever and never hang out with any of our friends.”

Dustin says when they flake on him, “It’s bullshit, I just got home!” (insert Nancy calling Stancy ‘bullshit’)

and before this  Dustin talks about Romeo & Juliet (while mileven is out of frame). R&J is all about the dangers of not knowing the difference between love and infatuation. Juliet after Romeo is banished just complains about how in love/sad she is but never pursues looking for him (sound familiar)? R&J claimed that they were in love with each other after knowing each for a few days and deciding to get married-sabotaging the closest relationships they had with their friends/family (all in the name of ‘true love’) . Similarly Mileven thought they were in love after only a week of knowing each other, and the second they are reunited they start dating and spend all their time with each other. El is allowed out of the house (and her friends are allowed to visit), but El hasn’t interacted with Max nor Will? They spend almost everyday in her room just making out. Mike puts very little effort into integrating her into his life or as part of the group. The only time they go out- is for Mike to show off El to Dustin like a possession- then before El can even do the boding activity with the group (with the radio tower)- Mike convinces her to leave to make out. They are both complicit in this and they both bring out the worst in each other and they make each other blinded to their loved ones’ feelings.

- El literally asks Max “How do I know what I like?” Do I have to explain why this could be problematic? She even says “I don’t know”, when Max asks if Mike is a good kisser.You can call me ‘ableist’ my abused-autistic ass will disagree. But El is not ready for a romantic relationship! it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of romantic, platonic, and familial love- when the first 12 years of her life she didn’t receive any form of love , PERIOD! And she is not like normal abuse victims (she has never had proper socialization with peers her own age or even adults).All she had was television. She latches herself on to anyone who is kind to her (something I used to do). Without Mike she used Max as a replacement almost immediately, and even starts repeating/mirroring the things she says (specifically coping phrases from her …over 6 times!). She’s also susceptible to doing what others say or want her to do, “dumping his ass” (with Max’s validation and encouragement). El might love Mike but I don’t think it’s romantic, she latched on to the first person that was kind to her. Before their first kiss she asked Mike “Will you be like my brother?” And she’s hurt when he says “no”, asking “Why not?”. He then kisses her (she watches a lot of soap operas and she assumes it must be ‘romantic love’). You’re telling me that if she was ‘in love’ with Mike she would have been that happy over dumping him? I’m not saying El is dumb for not being able to discern these things (I think people without such backgrounds may still struggle with this concept). But it makes perfect sense for El to be confused by the distinctions of various loves or even the differences between ‘crushes’ , ‘physical attraction’ and ‘romantic love’ 

- In the last ep El asks about what he said at the cabin to Max, specifying “you talked about your feelings?”. He says and I QUOTE “Oh! Oh, yeah that.Man, that was so long ago. Um…”  and starts to scratch his head. Then he excuses what he said at the cabin, saying it was “in the heat of the moment stuff and we were arguing… I don’t actually remember. What did I say exactly?”  

Now either he legitimately forgot! Or he lied! You know the thing that broke them up in the first place! The one thing that El holds as her most important value in life- honesty. And he lied- about something as important as his romantic feelings?!  Make up any excuse (about being shy/character flaws all you want), but this isn’t real life- it’s fiction (everything is done for a narrative purpose). That wasn’t an accident ( mileven wasn’t “written out of character”- like milevens claim,  the duffers were criticizing the ship on purpose) .And the fact he lied again! Wouldn’t bode well for a long term relation with each other. The whole season, criticized their romantic relationship ! That wasn’t a coincidence neither was the fact he looked confused by her confession, and kept his eyes open the whole time and didn’t kiss her back . 

And as she smiled and walked away, he looked confused. That wasn’t a directing mistake, like so many milevens are claiming! You really think they wouldn’t make sure their ‘fav ship’ didn’t have a good final kiss? 

 Especially since it was right after a romantic Jancy scene (which was directed amazingly)- where Nancy even mentions Mileven- to make us compare the 2 pairings romantic scenes even more. 

* I know I sound like an assh*le but I’m just annoyed. I’ve always censored my byler posts trying not to offend/criticize mileven. I never cross tagged my byler meta with the hashtag mileven (never will, cause it’s rude). But (without sounding pompous) my byler posts generally gets reblogged a lot- and now the milevens have seen my posts (and are sending lots of hate my way) and worst of all they’ve invaded the byler tag. Today I saw 2 posts in the byler tag saying. “We’re delusional” and “stupid”- and also in the same posts they say they “feel attacked” by us.Um… there’s a difference between byler shippers privately criticizing a ship without bothering mileven shippers (and only tagging it byler) . Versus Mileven shippers  tagging things byler (and ranting about the ship and it’s shippers). Loved the comment about how Mike can’t be bi cause “he loves El too much”.I think Mike is probably gay and in denial. But, um that’s not how being bi works- didn’t know  bi people love women and men ½ as much as the gays/straights. Thanks for informing me (rolls eyes for eternity).So kid-gloves off, nothing left to lose! Time to compare the ships.

‘The breakup’ vs ‘fight’ parallel

comedic vs dramatic! The casual sunny day vs the dramatic framing of the storm (a romantic trope) . The ‘break-up’ being a scene with multiple onlookers vs the fight being with Will and Mike only (making it more personal/intimate).  ‘Cold as ice’ playing after the mileven breakup vs the sad instrumentals playing during the byler fight. The comedic after-math at the mall. El and Max laughing, and another joke being made as the bus leaves.El’s happiness vs Will’s heartbreak.

Mike’s drastically different expressions after their fights. He looks regretful with Will, and almost annoyed with El dumping him.  The fact Mike apologized right away more than once to Will, and ran into a storm to apologize a 2nd time. But with El he just lies to cover up the first lie, and then after the break-up he just complains/lounges on the couch (not taking any responsibility). He literally says about El “Why is she treating me this way? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong?”.( He lied and made her feel “like garbage”!) Then he burps and laughs about chips- and makes sexist comments. Neither EL nor Mike are heartbroken by the breakup.

But when he angers Will (by him trying to finish the game early), he immediately tries to de-escalate saying softly “I was just joking- c’mon, let’s finish the game”. But when Will just yells back (much to Mike’s confusion) he doesn’t dismiss his feelings as irrational (like he wrongfully did to El) but chases him to the garage-  and begs him to stay since it’s raining.

In the garage, Mike immediately apologizes saying “I said I was sorry, alright. It was a cool campaign.” But after this, they fight and Mike runs into a storm to apologize a second time , and says to Will’s door “ WILL! I’m sorry I was being an asshole. Can you just come outside and we’ll talk? WILL!” He immediately takes responsibility and apologizes. And he’s desperate to resolve things. And when they find him outside castle Byers he just asks  (Mike’s catchphrase) ���Will, Are you ok?”

Shed scene ( “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “the most important thing in the world to me”) parallel

When Mike says to El  “you’re most important thing to me” in the pool shed. El doesn’t even acknowledge the comment (and neither should the audience- cause the words were empty). She completely ignores his words, and responds by asking him about his previous comments. Asking whether Hopper was right about them spending too much time together.

I didn’t edit (or delete any scene after his proclamation) this is how fast it was delivered ! The framing of this mileven scene was not cinematic or heartfelt, and neither was the delivery from Mike. He’s not crying, trying to reach her with proclamations of his genuine feelings. There’s no dramatic music, framing, lighting or shot composition. And El just responds and cuts his supposed ‘true feelings’ off- only to agree with Hopper and says “ she should spend time with her own species.” And if this ‘romantic moment’ wasn’t already undermined enough. This is when Mike realizes she was spying on him , and feels wrongfully violated (something she doesn’t apologize for,  saying “I make my own rules” . He even brings this up in a later episode (this clearly bothered him)!

Juxtaposed to the MUCH longer byler scene. A literal single tear falling down his cheek as Mike , recounts the first day they met. Mike being in the back drop of darkness only his face being illuminated (having him appear like a guiding light to Will). Saying “ I felt so alone and  so scared… but you were alone too” (alone together/crazy together) .  He then talks about asking Will to be his friend, and then he pauses and breaks eye contact , before looking him in the eye and smiling (lost in the memory) saying softly “you said yes, you said yes.” (cough like saying yes at a wedding).

So, after he says “you said yes, you said yes.” It’s important to mention that he takes a deep breath and breaks eye contact again, (looking down and to the side) as he says this line. Subconsciously, I believe he knows this line is romantic and he’s too afraid to say it to his face. Only flicking his eyes up to look at Will  after he finishes the entire sentence, and to gauge Will’s reaction.

This whole monologue is only of tight shots of just their faces (their bodies aren’t shown like in the pool shed scene). This is a personal moment between them and them alone- and the fact we zoom in on their faces (expresses this to be important emotionally) . And when we see Will’s reaction to Mike saying “it was the best thing I’ve ever done”. We just see Will’s face only- no music is playing and all we hear is  Will’s whimpers and Mike crying in the background.

“ Blank makes you Crazy” vs “ Crazy Together parallel

When Mike tries to confess his “love” to El he says “Well they do say it makes you crazy”… much to El’s confusion.He has to try to explain it a second time to El- who just gets even more confused, by his ‘confession’. Saying “you never heard that expression? Like blank makes you crazy … like the word (love)?”

But when Mike says he “feels like he’s going crazy” Will immediately responds with “Me too”. Mike even smiles at the comment. So that moment in s2 means more than we think, when Mike (with tears in his eyes) smiles at Will’s comment and asks them to go “crazy together”.And when Will responds back “yeah, crazy together” (who also has tears in his eyes). They even linger on the moment as they just smile and stare at each other.

Mike is in denial, and may not even realize he loves Will, but he knows subconsciously that he does. He heard the phrase “love makes you crazy and that damn stupid”, 100′s of times and that’s why he said that phrase to Will. And why it made him so happy when Will reciprocated , by saying “ yeah. crazy together.” In addition to why we see them both go from happy, to immediately upset over the conversation.The scene was already romantically coded in s2 (but the scene in s3 re-contextualizes the whole thing) . Mike thinks “love makes you crazy” , and he asked Will to go ‘crazy together’ with him. And When Will is at castle byers looking at the Halloween pic of the 2 the day Mike said that, Will cries and calls himself “stupid” (4x). Can’t get more obvious… Like look what the duffers did! 

El and Will’s opinions on Mike (Parallels)

-When asked if Mike was a good kisser,  she just said “I don’t know he’s my 1st boyfriend.” (implying she’s thinking, at least subconsciously, of having other boyfriends ,who are not Mike in the future).  But when Mike pretty much asks’ if Will thought they’d never get girlfriends, and spend the rest of their lives with each other’.Will just sadly responds “yeah, I guess I did. I really did!” Unlike, El, Will always saw Mike as his future, his forever.

-And when Mike says “it’s just a break” , Max says “No it’s not!”, and we see El laugh along with Max’s comment. She is not heartbroken at the idea of never getting back together with him, romantically. Right after they break up she was laughing, reading comics, and playing games with Max.

But Will is devastated over the fight! And out of all the memories in Castle Byers it’s the Ghostbusters photo from Halloween that causes Will to pick up the bat and start destroying everything. That was the night that Mike agreed to go “crazy together” with him. He tears it in ½ right in the center where Mike and Will are. He was so stupid to think it meant anything. The “crazy together” scene, that Mike initiated in s2 was always meant to be romantic. Not only because of Will’s reaction to the photo in s3, but because Mike in s3 says “They do say it makes you crazy…blank makes you crazy.”  Which is exactly what happens to Will, as he has his breakdown.Castle byers was built on a rainy night , the same day Will’s dad left, when Will was 5 (the same age he met Mike). And lonnie called him a “queer” and a “f*g” and forced him to do “normal things” like baseball to have him “be more of a man”. And then on a rainy night, after Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls”… what does Will destroy castle byers with? A baseball bat! The fact Will has a baseball bat (despite in s1 saying he does not like baseball) in Castle Byers, surrounded by things he loves: drawings, d&d, art supplies, a microscope, comics- just shows what an impact Lonnie’s problematic conditioning and abandonment had on him. He used a baseball bat to destroy something he loves -castle Byers, and symbolically he was trying to reject his feelings for Mike using Lonnie’s old tactics of fixing him.

- Also, El doesn’t even seem to appreciate when Mike acts like his true self (goofy/like a kid). She laughs when Max complains he talks too much. Rolls his at his jokes with the cpr-dummy, covers his mouth and tells him to stop when he tries to joke and sing, ignores him when he gets excited about talking about dinosaurs. Which relates to my next point

The only characters who’s character bios focus on ‘escaping’ through d&d is Mike and Will.

Will in the Montauk pitch was described as having “sexual identity issues… LIKE MIKE , Will ESCAPES through fantasy gaming where he can be himself, uninhibited.” Like what is Mike escaping from… being a nerd? Because they could of said ‘like his friends’. And no it’s not because they’re best friends- they even specifIed in Lucas bio he’s “ Mike’s best friend” (which was even mentioned in s1).

.In Mike’s character description it says “ bullying and near-crippling insecurity. He has never had a first kiss, much less a girlfriend.He ESCAPES his insecurities through reading fantasy novels … retreating into his own vivid imagination. The Dungeon Master of his Dungeons and Dragons group, he writes sprawling adventures with fantastical monsters.When he finds himself on a real adventure, facing real monsters, he will discover a courage he didn’t know he had. By the end, he will even kiss a girl.”

*Interesting that Mike uses D&D  to escape his insecurities about not having a gf (retreating into his imagination). While Will (who is somewhat aware of his sexuality) uses d&d to escape and be himself uninhibited. They’re foils in a sense- using d&d for opposing reasons.

So the s3 fight about d&d games has a lot more meaning 

Mike equates heterosexual romance with ‘growing up’ and his feeling for Will as something childish he has to grow out of.When they fight over d&d. Mike says “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!”, then he tries to ½ apologize only to say, “I’m not trying to be a jerk. Ok? But We’re not kids anymore.” He pretty much explains, this is just the way things are-boys fall in love with girls, get girlfriends, and that’s just a part of growing up (heteronormativity).  And tells Will “I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? We were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?” And poor Will who is probably more aware of his feelings just responds. “Yeah. I guess I did. I really did.” And after this Mike rushes to Will’s house and apologizes saying he was an “asshole.”When he tries to say he loves El . It was very forced. He can’t even use the world love or explain his feelings, “A feeling … yeah, like, something… like OLD PEOPLE say it sometimes”.

He can’t even describe love and what his “feelings” entail for El , he then says  “Yeah, like something , like old people say it some times. He doesn’t even say it back in the last ep, when she confesses. It’s all talk, but no feeling, it’s just a part of becoming an adult in Mike’s mind.

In the last ep before the mileven kiss, he even invites both El and Will over for Christmas saying “ And Will too… we could all have new presents to play with and… *scoffs* Sorry, that made me sound like a 7 year old...  ”

And it’s implied in the last ep (before the mileven kiss),  because of the 3 month breakup Mike is back to liking d &d. When Mike sees Will put his own d&d book in the donation box he stops him.

Mike: “WHOA, dude that’s the donation box.”

Will: “ I know, I’ll just use yours,  when I come back. (pause) if WE still want to play?”

So then Mike asks, shyly …

Mike : “Yeah, but what if you want to join another party?” (cough- girls , the other ‘species’, or just someone else: girl, guy or otherwise)

Will: “Not possible.” (Will will always love Mike- insert Mikes immediate heart-eye reaction to this comment).

I think people don’t notice what the subtext is here- regardless of his intentions, Mike broke Will’s heart. He made him feel “stupid” for ever thinking he ever had a chance with Mike. He always saw Mike as his forever, but Mike shot any hopes of that down in the garage. Will doesn’t trust his own instincts. Mike could straight up flirt with him in s4/5- and Will would dismiss it as his imagination. He essentially said ‘he’ll always love Mike- but if something is going to happen. It’s up to Mike to initiate it’.

Mike was queer coded since ep 1 (and he’s more queer coded than Will)!

 I LITERALLY thought (in s1) Mike was queer before Will!

- 3 rainbow references. Mike in s1 in his basement has a red heart being propelled by a rainbow sign. We see this again in s3 as a drawing. Mike also stands next to Will behind a rainbow apple poster in s2. Forbidden fruit + rainbow = queer forbidden romance. Also the apple poster was in the AV Club and at that time the rainbow apple-mac sign was suspected to be in reference to for Alan Turning (the gay ‘father of computers’).

In s1:

- 4 separate characters said El looked like a boy, but Mike doesn’t care! Even one of the men thought El might be the missing ‘Byers boy’. When El loses her wig , Troy said “she doesn’t even look like a girl” to the cops. But Mike just calls her “really pretty”

-Nancy says “I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was because of Will” And Mike responds “I thought you were acting weird too I thought it was because of Steve … Do you like Jonathan now”?” Nancy: “No, do you like Eleven?”. They literally compared the explicit love triangle between Steve/Nancy/Jonathan to the Will-Mike-El dynamic!

- Mike literally uses gender inclusive pronouns when talking about crushes using the word “someone” (3 times), and embarrassing himself because he can’t articulate the difference between friendship and romance. When he could of simply given the 80s heteronormative  answer of ‘when a boy likes a girl’.

Mike: “ you go to school dances with someone.

You know someone that you like”

El: “a friend?”

Mike: ‘not a friend uh … uh someone like a” (gives up and kisses her)

-Mike’s mom said “ What’s been going on with Will, I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I just … want you to feel like you can talk to me. I never want you to feel like you have to HIDE anything from me” (she even emphasizes the word ‘hide”  (which is heavily queer coded)

- when Will ‘dies’, “we can be heroes” by David bowie (a bisexual singer) plays,   “And we kiss as though nothing could fall and the shame” is the lyric that plays when Mike returns to his house and cries in his mother’s arms over the ‘death’ of Will. Do I have to explain how ‘kissing and shame’ are queer-coded . And how such a lyric is oddly romantic- if we’re supposed to see their bond as nothing but platonic XD

-his dad jokes “Absolutely not” *turns to wife* “our son with a girl?”.

- when Lucas makes fun of his crush on EL, Lucas gets down on one knee  and says “ I love you so much, will you marry me?” and literally 1s later, we’re introduced to the bullies and the idea (for the first time) that Will is ‘gay’, and Mike is in the forefront of the scene and unlike his friends he is THE ONLY ONE physically assaulted as they cause him to fall face first into a rock (like a gay-bashing) .  They leave Lucas and Dustin unharmed. Even though Lucas just proposed to another guy- which should have gotten him a beating by the homophobic bullies.

It’s supposed to subconsciously hint Mike is queer like Will, and likes Will. The first interaction with the bullies, they mention Will being ‘gay’ right after they mention Mike’s crush on androgynous El and have a guy propose to Mike. Mike says to “ignore them” ( the homophobic remarks) but is assaulted anyways. And when asked what happed he doesn’t want to tell El the details cause he’s ashamed .

2nd time the bullies talk about Will, Mike is once again in the forefront, unlike his straight friends who are in the background . But this time Mike initiates the confrontation), as the bullies say Will is “flying in fairyland with all the other little fairies. All happy and gay”. Mike was literally on the verge or tears at this comment (despite being happy a few moments earlier , telling the others to ‘act sad’ because they’d look suspicious other wise). But this is the comment where Mike snaps and pushes Troy back (because he took it personally/wanted to defend Will).

The framing of Mike once again being in the front and snapping at the homophobic remarks ( gifs don’t do it justice, just rewatch the scene -Mike eyes water at the remarks). Then the last time the bullies appear , Mike jumps off the cliff and “flies like a fairy” (like Troy said) thanks to El . Troy at the police station even uses the word “fly” not levitate.

-Mike sneaking out to find Will, as Steve sneaks in to Nancy’s. They both even make eye contact (and pretend not to have seen each other).

- they share dinosaur toys , in s1 and 2 they appear to be the only ones with dinosaur toys.

- The s1 mom hug scene where Mike feels he lost Will is paralleled in s3 - signifying how he lost him a 2nd time.

- Mike in the 1st ep being the one to insist on looking for Will in the rain (callback to s3). But he never went looking for El when he saw her through his window? Even when Mike saw Will’s dead body, the second he heard his voice he convinced his friends to help rescue him!

- You remember the binder (from s1) that Mike keeps, filled with 100s of Will’s drawings, and how he caresses the drawing after thinking Will was dead. That’s totes platonic.

- Mike in s1 proclaiming “I’m the only one who cares about Will!” Seems like something a kid with a crush might say ( because obviously his other friends care about Will). But he thinks he cares the most. He was even the first to worry about Will not showing up to school, the first to suggest looking for him while speaking to Hopper, and when Hopper and his parents say ‘no’ he sneaks out anyway (and is the first to suggest forming a search party). The first to believe he was alive after seeing his dead body.The only boy to have a scene dedicated solely to him mourning Will.  Mike being the only boy to stay awake at the hospital, and the first boy to see and hug Will. The only one to have a private one on one talk before Will goes missing. The only one who was literally given 100s of Will’s drawings. And yet Dustin says Lucas’ is Mike’s best friend? So what does that make Mike and Will?

In s2:

- Will in all 3 seasons identifies as a wizard. But in s2 Mike (the paladin) says Will is a cleric. Meaning this reflects how Mike actually feels about Will. In d&d, they have similar moral values, powers, and generally need and depend on each other in the lore of d&d. Paladins have similar healing powers to clerics, but clerics have stronger healing abilities - which is interesting since Mike has always been viewed as the protector. But to Mike Will has helped him (maybe deal with the loss of El and other trauma) , just by being there. And if Mike says Will is a cleric,despite Will still identifying as a wizard in s3, it shows how deeply Mike actually feels about Will. It shows he views Will as one of the only people who understands him and views him as a healing presence and his moral compass.

“ strength of conviction gave many paladins a sense of common fellowship but did not always endear them to others. In many cases, paladins did not get along quite as well with other non-paladin adventurers, with the exception of clerics with similar beliefs.”

“A Paladin tries to hold to the highest standards of conduct, but even the most virtuous Paladin is fallible. Sometimes the heat of emotion causes a Paladin to transgress his or her oath (of honesty, courage, compassion, honor ,and duty). A paladin who has broken a vow typically seeks absolution from a cleric who shares his or her faith or from another paladin of the same order. After a rite of confession and forgiveness, the paladin starts fresh.”

This proves Mike knows he treats Will special/different than his other friends- and unlike a relationship with El (they are still individuals who are not dependent on each other). And Mike thinks being with Will quite literally makes him a better person. Juxtaposed with how him being in a romantic relationship with El made him blind and apathetic to those closest to him .

- All the mileven s1 parallels vs byler s2 parallels were ALL initiated by Mike. If the parallels were meant to show a one sided love triangle (on Mike’s end). They would of made Will the instigator not Mike! Parallels can be watched here , start at 6:50)

-Mike initiated the “crazy together’ line- and in s3 he said ‘blank makes you crazy’. So subconsciously he knew the line had romantic connotations.

-Mike initiating the hand hold (with a zoom in shot) and in the show this is only done for romantic pairings. Also Mike being the one to initiate the ‘arm thing’ which is generally romantic. But in s3 , Lucas also does this, saying “I am spending quality time with my girlfriend’

-Mike saying, asking him to be his friend was the “best thing I’ve ever done”

-Mike constantly following Will around, asking if he’s okay or biking to his house to check on him in s2 . In s3 running out to chase Will to the garage and apologizing, and running into a storm to apologize a 2nd time.

YOU SEE A PATTERN! Mike is whipped! And is the one constantly chasing and pursuing Will, not the other way around! Before s3, people always portrayed Will as the (stereotypical- problematic trope of a) sad-pinning-gay in a one sided love with Mike. It’s like people didn’t even watch the show (and just assigned tropes/stereotypes they wanted, that weren’t actually there). Will (probably too shy or scared to- because of homophobic taunts) never initiated a single byler moment- it was ALWAYS Mike!!! If people were actually objective, they would of thought it was Mike who was the one pinning!

- Which brings me to Mike literally pinning! Mike forcing Will to dance with a girl (who has a rainbow hairclip), but you literally see Mike’s shocked expression like  ‘what,why’d I do that ?’ And after this, they show Dustin looking sad about Max/Lucas dancing and then they have Mike get into the frame (next to Dustin) and look sad when Will/girl are dancing in the same exact frame as Max/Lucas. As they switch between these last 2 shots.

the cannon Spotify playlists-called ‘Mike’s basement beats’- These are character playlists that Spotify and St worked on together after s2.

-his first song is “small town boy” an 80s LGBT anthem about living in a small town and being queer and bullied. Every band member was openly gay.

-his 11th song is ‘don’t you want me’ from a “celebrate your gay pride” album

* But queer people are “delusional” for thinking Mike isn’t straight? And are told to “open your eyes and watch the show” (that was an actual quote in the byler tag). Ok? Take your own advice, then! XD

One of the Duffers cited inspirations for ST is SUPER GAY (and what they based the byler dynamic off of).

In the Will comic, Will throws an old 1970s book called “house of stairs” at the demorgorgan. And in a later chapter Mike and Will just read together at the library (just silently reading together, enjoying each others’ company-totally not a romantic cliche).And Mike warns Will the book ‘could have spoilers’ for the d&d campaign. Also look at this byler-centric cover :)

  Peter (Will) is shy, quiet ,initially a pushover, and gay-coded.  And as a coping mechanism he has psychological-breaks with reality where he thinks of his best friend from the orphanage, Jasper (Mike) . Another kidnapped boy, named Oliver (who looks just like Jasper/Mike) is also queer-coded (but a violent-sociopath). And, unlike Jasper who actually wanted to protect/take care of Peter -Oliver starts to gets a sick thrill out of making Peter dependent on him (which Peter catches on to pretty quickly). Oliver was insistent on being the only one to ‘wake’ Peter from his episodes (just like how Mike did for Will, in s2), except Oliver calls him pet-names like “sweetheart, baby, etc.” 

And again to prove it’s queer-coded I’ll read some of the (shortened) quotes, in the order they were written. These are quotes from Peter (Will’s) pov talking about his childhood best-friend Jasper (Mike) .  

-“his room. His and jaspers room.  Jasper looking up from his desk, smiling glad to see him. Jasper saying . Something very important. The most important message, the secret message.  He couldn’t hear him . But jasper keeps smiling , keeps talking . What was the message, jasper? What was the message? The dream had been beautiful at the beginning, terrible at the end, but he longed  to be in it again. If only he hadn’t awakened.”  

-“Jasper sitting on the bed and taking off his shoes ,smiling, ‘you’re okay pete, you’re better than a hundered of those slobs put together. Tomorrow I’ll tell them so myself‘ jasper’s strong, hard body as he got into bed ,so different from peter’s. Strong, to protect him to take care of him. Jasper, who always took care of him”.

-“He wanted to think about oliver it  it was like having Jasper back again. It would disturb him to see Oliver go off with Abigail… the rejection quite painful. It had never been like that with Jasper…jasper.

-The room they shared with rainbow colors, murmuring comforting words to him , enclosing and protecting him. He let himself drift into it, the rainbow hues dimness.”

-“No one ever depended on him. It was he who always depended on others, on Jasper. jasper, who had always taken care of him. Jasper…”

later he admits his feelings for Jasper to Lola/el. Lola and Pete are plantonic soulmates. The only reason why they survive and don’t succumb to their dark and violent urges/psychological brainwashing is because of each other. Lola has  brown hair and eyes and has a buzzcut and is heavily implied to be a lesbian (as she is the only girl in the group who is not fooled by Oliver’s ‘nice guy act’. Which makes the other girls ‘suspicious’ and alienate her). Also this was written in the 70s… she has a buzzcut and is said to “look like a boy”. It’s not that subtle! There was a reason that the author whose first name was WILLIAM (was suspected to be gay/bi when he was alive)!  XD

-Peter says “ he was my friend we were always together . Jasper his name was jasper .in the dream he’s taking care of me’. Now he was beginning to cry, his throat constricting and tears welling up in his eyes .’taking care of me … he always took care of me… taking care of me, and , and … and loving me’. ‘”It was the best time in your life’ she murmured’. ‘Yes’ “

* cough protective childhood friend, rainbows, ‘best time of your life = best thing I ever did.

S3 ending (byler centric ending)

When we first see Mike during the Hopper mologue, the moving truck leaves. “Like you’re pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night (d &d)”…  (the last thing they talked about was Will visiting to play d&d and their fight this season started because of a disagreement about d&d.)

Then Mike looks back at the Byers house (just lingers there and looks back as his friends leave) like how Will did seeing Mike hold hands with El and leave .  “But I know you’re getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I’m being really honest, that’s what scares me. I don’t want things to change.”Mike , like Will “doesn’t want things things to change”. He doesn’t want his  his feelings of friendship to become romantic in regards to Will,  it “scares” him (especially in rural 80s Indiana). Right after Will cries,  it immediately switches to Mike hugging his mom- to mirror the time he thought Will died in s1 “So I think maybe that’s why I came in here, to try and maybe stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were.” He goes back to his mother for comfort, like he did the 1st time he lost Will. But also to reverse back time, to s1, before he realized his feelings for Will were romantic.  When things were simpler. 

“But I know that’s naive. It’s just not how life works. It’s moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it’s painful. Sometimes it’s sad. And sometimes, it’s surprising. Happy.” (byler endgame)

Will (in s2) even says everyone treats him like ‘freak/ that something is wrong with him’ (purposely leaving out Mike from the discussion). And then when Will disparages himself as a freak,and Jonathan agrees but asks Will, ‘who would he rather be friends with-  David Bowie (who was openly bi since the 70s) or Kenny Rogers’? And when Will says Bowie, Jonathan agrees saying “see, it’s no contest”.

So,  it’s just another coincidence that when Will ‘dies’ (in s1) a David Bowie song (‘we can be heroes’) plays. And as Mike hugs his mom, mourning Will -  a romantic lyric from the song plays during the hug?“And we kiss, as though nothing could fall. And the shame”  (which is heavily queer coded)?

And then in the last ep (in s3) Mike mirrors this scene in s1, hugging his mom, since he feels like he’s losing Will all over again. And right after the hug (‘we can be heroes’) plays again!?  I’m not saying byler is endgame. But- WAIT THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I’M SAYING! XD

These men literally invented ‘hetero-baiting’ (with Robin & Steve) and you think they’re going to queer bait?!

Also, if Will was a girl named ‘Willow” no one would call byler ‘delusional’ ! Even the most casual viewer would say it’s obvious they’d end up together in the end!

If the witness said about El in s1 , “ same height… it could be the Byers girl”, instead of ‘boy’ (pointing out the resemblance).  Mike only meeting El cause he was looking for Willow. Proclaiming “i’m the only one who cares about Willow!” . Mike getting into fights and getting upset (almost crying) about the bullies insulting Willow. Mike only getting angry at El when he thinks she lied about Willow being alive. Mike being the only boy who has a scene dedicated to his loss of her (with the same romantic lyrics playing). Mike having a whole binder of her drawings and caressing one of the drawings, after he thinks she died.  Mike being the only one of her friends to stay awake at the hospital, waiting for her to wake up- so he can see her and hug her first. People probably would of started shipping it the second Willow stared at him and was the only one who didn’t lie to him, in the first ep! Another parallel to El!

If Will was Willow, the majority of the fandom would be byler shippers. Think about it! . Mike having s2 byler scenes that are identical to s1 mileven scenes, and then additional unique byler scenes. Mike staying by Willow’s side 24 hours a day for several days (not even changing clothes), carrying her out of the hospital, grabbing her hand (with a zoom in shot),constantly asking her if she’s okay at least 5-7 times, putting his arm around her twice, being the only one who could tell something was off with her (and it wasn’t her normal type of quiet). Calling and running all the way to her house and banging on the door to check on her, desperate. Watching her sleep cause he’s so worried. That shed scene reminiscing about how they first met in perfect detail, saying “I asked, I asked if you wanted to be my friend. You said yes, you said yes. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. (like a marriage proposal)”  The “crazy together” scene. Them being close since they were 5 vs the girl he knew for a week (but is somehow in love with?). In s2 if Mike sadly watched Willow dance with another guy , while Dustin does the same to Max. Forget it- everyone would already know mileven would be doomed to fail.

And again think about s3 if Will was a girl.They parallel the (comedic) mileven breakup vs (the sad/serious) byler breakup. Then Mike just complains and burps on the couch vs apologizing to Willlow multiple times/even going into a storm to apologize a 2nd time (and to ‘talk’). Willow having a breakdown over the fight vs El laughing and high five-ing Max after.The shed vs the pool shed scene- “best thing I’ve ever done” vs “you’re the most important thing in the world to me”, “blank makes you crazy’ (as El stares confused) vs “crazy together’ (where Willow says ‘yeah, crazy together’). Mike going on ‘movie dates with Willlow all the time’ right after making out with El. The last mileven kiss where Mike has his eyes open the whole time,  and doesn’t kiss back. And saying he doesn’t remember saying  “I love” you to El (and doesn’t say ‘I love you’ back). Right after having a talk with Willow about playing games when she comes back (the crux of their fight). Mike getting excited that he’ll be able to visit El and Willow on Thanksgiving and them visiting him on Christmas (those are holidays where family usually introduces their S.O.) Having the last scene of Mike,  be him looking back at Willow’s house, and have that whole monologue about “feelings changing”, and then he goes to hug his mom like the s1 byler scene where he thought Willow was dead, signifying he lost her again. And that’s not even all the scenes- and every time byler won by a landslide. If Will was a girl, we wouldn’t be ‘delusional’! It would be obvious writing on the wall, that Mike would eventually choose Willow over El by the end of the series.

But since they are 2 boys, we’re delusional, because queer kids don’t exist … apparently.

*S3-I’m not repeating my literal essays but they’re probably better than this post so here are the links to pretty much all my s3 byler meta.  (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

gif credit: 1st few have the name stark in the gifs, 2nd byler gif (found on wheheart.com- user dream_daisy, not sure if they also have a Tumblr , 3rd livelovecaliforniadreams, 4th &10th Cath-avery, 5& 6th unknown, 7-9 eggogorgon . Tell me if you know the unknown one so I can give credit , please.

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Two: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 1-5

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Three | TaT)

Contents: Me losing my mind in multiple ways each chapter, helpful links, nighttime garden cousins, an Irene pun, notes from my second read, “mwt is just like going for it,” and “this is so fucked up and heartwarming.”

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Volume 2

Illustration

Book 2 bro

Now we’re caught up and changed forever by lots of things

What printer’s apprentice made this?

Elephants!

Chapter 1

175. me too, Costis, me too. I am so tired. (it’s hard to sleep when your brain and heart and everything are fizzing because you’re reading Return of the Thief for the first time and a new Queen’s Thief book for the last time) 

176. Klimun + Gerosthenes vibes [moon doodle]

Holes in documents. That’s cute

Gen!!! <3

Wtf Ansel was hoodwinked!

177. The Queen waited

They’re ridiculous

Hi Pheris

Wtf he stole her earrings for Melheret?!?

178. Excuse me??? What is this book (sleeveless leather tunic)

He still roams!!!

Tattoos!

179. a sentence I never fucking expected to read ever “The absence of tattoos…”

180. that’s interesting

Stacked like kindling wow oh dear

181. She wants him to move in lol

Lol sorry Ion

Did she just want them to leave the room?

182. I can’t with this… I can’t. Why is sex symbol Relius canon. (the play that featured him! It’s great, it’s great, it was just a lot to take in!)

Silver crown?

183. Cleon! Rude!

Did they call Costis to deck him?

Queen scene!! <3

184. This is an epic. Abt Costis. Dirty stranger

185. he’s “the high king”

Lol

187. prophet (Pheris sure makes Costis sound like one)

Shut up Piloxides

188. resources for war! (book launch foreshadowing part two! She talked a lot about this kind of thing as well, and recommended the book Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army)

189. “we”

What were you gonna say (Gen almost says something to Costis part one)

193. RIP The Magus Archives … it was not to be. Yet.

194. Melenze’s doorstep. Why? Bc Melenze is Ferria’s dog. (idk dude that line from ACoK has just never left me)

195. This is … a big war

196. Oh gen

Nighttime garden cousins.

Chapter 2

197. wtf did Relius think of that play

Also … not a peep from the sacred mountain huh

198. wtf will happen with Cleon

with Erondites

with THE MOUNTAIN

a lot going on

everyone was in that room but Kamet! So close!

199. Cute Fordad + Gen friendship (I never said these notes would make me look smart)

Same 2 T + R! :) It’s not them is it? (I NEVER SAID THESE NOTES WOULD MAKE ME LOOK SMART)

Poor Teleus

200. gdi Gen

Excuse me? Is he worried for Pheris??? (taking his tablet)

They trust each other! C’mon!

Sure he has reasons

202. oh dear. :( that’s … the worst cover story

Also falling

203. wow almost like a story huh

Ula’s altar :(

Why haven’t we had a Gen and Costis scene IN THREE BOOKS

205. I just … I don’t know if he’s just miserable or if it’s all a plan. I feel like I should know it’s all a plan. But he really feels like he has far to go. He’s just a mess and the same and so different. (having a small Gen meltdown)

205. he did give him the gun

Odd that he missed Quedue

206. he’s gonna bite them (buckle up! it’s abdication time!)

207. Power. Power. Power. Power.

Thx 4 the editorializing Pheris

208. Gen is making choices. That’s a choice.

209. There’s KoA down the drain

Aaaand he’s Eugenides

“Eugenides stared into the future”

The page of like 3 different tumblr posts: Trophy husband, Library, No! yes!

210. make sure he doesn’t leave lol

211. Pheris :(

Also fucked up timing for Irene

I love them

212. again with the birthday book

He’s still the king in the narration

Go on the roof! So close!

213. EUGENIDES IS ALWAYS APPROPRIATE my motto

Viper! Bastard!

Oh shit. I love them.

214. “our treaty” “our queen”

AAAH! Wedding night!

Asked her to leave!

Smash Erondites and peace out, literally

215. a frank talk

HE SAID IT.

216. The Bructs?

Wait is this his grandfather (taking a moment to remember all about Susa)

Also that’s Costis territory

217. who is this lion

218. #3 to Gen.

219. hmmm ring

There’s been a lot to unpack wow.

Did this happen, Pheris? Pheris?! 

220. Atté atté!

(Dear reader: for some strange reason, I completely forgot about taking notes on the final pages of this chapter. These notes are from when I reread those pages a few minutes later.)

Erondites full cup to brimming

The Pherises…

We must think of others before ourselves … occasionally

I do not like Orutus

Don’t fence Costis in! Does this count as prison? No (I had a square on my bingo board for “someone ends up in prison” ... but it turned out to be for someone else)

221. damn Costis

Aaah

Costis …

Irene… your jokes (I mean, it’s a joke, but also it is very real for her.)

SHE SAID IT!

My heart

222. where is Relius going?

SPYING

What you see and what you think it means (I love these instructions/this quote so much)

So are Susa + Erondites 2gether or what (listen ... proximity generates meaning in these books)

Also, like

What can

I say

WHAT CAN I SAY (Hell yeah! Never more glad to be wrong about the magus)

[page long list of doubles and parallels - from Cleons and Pherises and Ions to god-character and character-character connections]

Also the fact that in KoA and TaT Relius was like … oh … no … I just live a gentle life being friends with my king and queen and being scholarly. But no. He’s SPYING and TRAVELING MYSTERIOUSLY and has MANY LOVERS and also has been WITH TELEUS ALL ALONG and there is a PLAY written about him and he has a ~messenger~ network and PLAYS THE FLUTE and DOESN’T MAKE HIS BED and DISLIKES MATH and oh and he’s VERY HANDSOME! (Yes I was losing it, I hope my note from after the poem helps show some of the feelings behind this rant.)

Fucking … Wine shop. Should have known.

Chapter 3

224. ominous

Hello magus!

Sophos … babe (his impatience!)

225. Magus … cool your socks that’s your bff (he’s just describing Helen’s dead body! Fun!!!!)

In the van

That was good I love them

Why is it Couples Hour?

226. finally we’re out of the capital of Attolia

Ok they’re so cute

She was NEVER Helen in ACoK narration! 

Also – Pheris. This is all Pheris. (Pheris plus information others told him!)

227. Bringing each other up to date – that’s their thing. Talking forever

All this talk of shooting Therespides

228. EX FUCKING SCUSE ME (time to learn a lot about the country of Eddis)

He was 15! (or almost 15)

He didn’t know! Or did he!

The MoW!

All thru Pheris

Fuck you magus

When did he know

229. EXCUSE ME

The emeralds?

Assumed the worst?

That classic quote about little to do with winter but with “seducing other people’s lovers”

230. yeah Sophos that’s a lost cause (“spare me my blushes”)

Also she didn’t answer you

What are they laughing about (the generally nameless men we’re learning many things about this chapter)

233. Gen I think it’s fair to say that was a mistake

234. wtf Gen

GEN! he just. Had those. (the jewels!)

Her crown

I cannot

235. Gen!

237. Crash

Her CHANGES

238. THESE TWO

239. called annux

Yeah it’s like … a family meeting (the war council)

Bring your father to work day

241. Oh no.

Stenides! Boagus!!!!!!!

EDDIS!

Wolves! Lol

mwt is just like going for it

243. aww

Eddis > Boagus > Gen

244. Yeah I’m with her on this. (“if that doesn’t frighten you, it should”)

Chapter 4

245. Gen and Magus scene yes!

Two people affected by his long hair (Gen and the magus? I think?)

Pheris are you there?

Gen … you used to wish yourself out of existence

Wow

Hair vanity

Yeah also battlefield

Ion is a darling tbh

248. Is he. Is he going to fight all of them

Also they are all his cousins huh

AULUS! I liked you!

Same, Hilarion

Taking a page out of Costis’s book?

You have definitely seen it before. (I mistook his lie for truth!)

Will Costis hear about this? (please)

249. #4 to Gen!

Pheris where are you

Why doesn’t the Continent want to conquer them (do I get partial credit for this)

A tattoo!

250. “Do not offend the gods”

Honestly … too bad Helen DIDN’T do this

251. he said he’d give all he had

I’m sure there are rules

253. Just men? :( (let everybody fight him!)

Ornon is back! I mean, of course he is

Also yea they practice

HELLO ORNON

A house being built … or one knocked down. Nice

Is Teleus in on this?

254. Pheris called him my king!

255. I wanna know which guards though

:( he’d been faking

Kicked him in the head (ouch)

256. “when he fell”

I … don’t like this

He never gives up. The thieves don’t have limits. They have flash points.

Stepped on his hand

“Enough Gen” – what Irene said?

257. :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

The magus. I forgot he was there.

The magus said … nevermind …

The magus is probs very into this as a cultural thing. Also he was talking to the MoW

Pigeon. The sky. :( Like in TT (OH BOY, THE SKYYYY)

If there was a god, Pheris would see…

258. They’ve, they’ve been through a lot.

Oh god what’s next

259. I … no. not in his arms to the palace.

The palace where….

The stairs…

They are all 3 lookers. Basilisks and brass and lead

I hate this. But I love this.

I will someday see this differently.

Ah yes… the grunt. Approval.

260. Honestly, this is so fucked up and heartwarming. These books.

Lol don’t defend Hilarion, we know him

Eddis visits him.

Attolia watches him.

261.WTF Gen. I knew it. Why.

Crying or laughing? Crying? :(

How does this not undermine her now that he is her king?

But … what he wouldn’t do for her.

262. “he did fine”

This book is like… Reasons Gen Says Sorry

So, so… - Helen

GEN!

263. I am right. I am always right. It’s a curse.

Helen :( :( :(

The amount of times these people have seen him beaten.

He’s like … self destructive, but in a way that gives himself more power. Which he hates.

Gen, let them in. Let them in.

Chapter 5

264. honeycomb

OH NO. is it happening?

266. I’m just supposed to accept this?!! What does it mean?!

267. … a my king moment … important

But like … now can he fight?

Caryatid? [doodle after I looked it up]

268. Teleus!

C’mon Teleus. Everyone you love or respect loves him!

Honestly Pheris and Teleus … not a duo I expected

THESE TWO ARE SO DEDICATED TO TELLING HIM THAT! Ok I should chill. At least he said “may.” These are like … Pheris’s life lessons.

Honestly… I love that Teleus likes poetry, or at least likes it for Relius.

269. Lol Legarus. It’s been years! I mean, I guess that was a big deal for him… (almost being executed is a big deal for most people.)

Does he not love Gen because of Relius? Because Gen manipulated him? Because he keeps sending away his successor? Why on earth not! Hop on that train! (...)

It’s interesting that their relationship is the one that touches Pheris, not Gen and Irene. Hm.

Also … “Idiot.” The parallels.

“relatively gently” (it’s so good)

~Teleus here to talk about love~

This book is full of surprises.

270. That is NOT the bright side, Gen (“I could use my newfound authority to insist on going into battle”)

271. BUNNY! Wtf is a wineglass warrior

Very cute everyone, good job.

Still sad about Helen’s tears.

271. Gen. Don’t say these things. [volcano doodle]

272. SEE I was worried about this! The doubt!

I am not ok

This is TOO MANY Eddisian Revelations (Lader time)

Yeah. Wow.

273. Cleon x5

I … his grandfather

No.

Baby Helen begging

How did Pheris get this scene

Gen chose Cleon for his plan

275. IRENE WITH THE STATS!

276. lol Gen

My brother Sounis!

277. Missing Relius club.

Where is he though

Yes! Sophos Gen food fight!

Grapes!

“Wisdom”

He’s “the king” here and in KoA bc that’s the story but also that’s who he is to Pheris and Costis

278. So how did that Irene and MoW meeting go anyway?

How does Aulus know???

Thief short story! Probably terrible to reread, oh no

279. Are … are Aulus and Boagus together???! (“his slightly smaller partner”)

This feels … potentially traumatic … but fun? Idk

Fleece

280. This dang book. No rules!

The chandelier! So dramatic!

Mwt had … a lot to put into this one. A lot. A lot.

283. “not the Thief he was chasing”

284. The queens! The salute!

He can’t give this up.

Official Worries:

100,000 soldiers heading towards Kamet

Re: Lyopidus, Gen called Sophos his brother. Helen apparently might BE his sister. Temenus and Stenides are also going to a war where 9/10 will probably die.

Also

the MoW could have been a king if he’d stolen Helen’s throne. A lot there.

why does this book have the vibe of the library post, my comic from 2010, the king and queen interactions here, and the military tactics dream

[jackietaylorsghost]

very Important adam/ronan things to take away from the cdth sampler:

“like the other lynch brothers, he was a regular churchgoer, but most people assumed he played for the other team.” i am SCREAMING. top tier gay joke. well timed.

everyone: ronan’s eyes aren’t pretty. adam: mhmm  e y e l a s h e s

much to say about the revelation that ronan is partly at the barns to keep his dreams hidden and in check, and how much he relates an inability to change and be like everyone else to having to stay there. almost like he’s stuck huh! i’ve been saying!!

of note that words used to describe ronan’s existence are BORED and MALINGERED.

fingers crossed he finds some balance between his dreams and his wants/needs that allows him to leave the barns and grow but after the Great Crab Disaster I’M WORRIED.

fire imagery EVERYWHERE. i’m WORRIED again.

“there are stains that spread faster than you drive. if you drive, it’ll take fourteen years to get there. seventeen. forty. one hundred. we’ll be driving to your funeral by the end.” good to know ronan is still the most DRAMATIC boy in the whole of virginia. absolutely no chill.

dont like the possible foreshadowing of that driving to your funeral by the end, though. must leave lynches alone!

“it’s very safe” asjkajjka DECLAN PLEASE 

“ronan kicked one of the volvo’s tires” asjkajjka RONAN PLEASE. 

ronan trying to act nonchalant by cramming chocolate covered peanuts into his mouth and choking a little is Peak Disaster Gay. 

matthew’s music must be awful if ronan and declan are in agreement over it, must have playlist. 

ronan who lives to pretend he doesn’t care wondering if his brothers didn’t say anything about his moving because it didn’t make a difference to them is huhhh. don’t like it, take it away pls.

i’m sorry, ENTIRELY WRAPPED UP IN! ENTIRELY! 

entirely

wrapped

up

in

shut up!!!! shut upppppp! 

“is there any version of you that could come with me to cambridge?” tbh nothing would have readied me for this. adam i-can-do-everything-alone asking ronan if he could go with him. so much growth, too much pride, nowhere to put it, send help.

the fact that ronan doesn’t stay in cambridge when he visits adam because of plausible deniability, that if he doesn’t try there’s no evidence he can’t make it there. rip. 

ronan! missed! him! like! a! lung! 

dramatic again, but entirely relatable bc damn, same ronan, same. 

a) ronan thinking about how his heartbeat is the same as everyone else’s so he wasn’t that different and b) JUST LIKE ADAM’S HEART WHEN HIS HEAD WAS RESTING ON HIS HEAD = much too much to think about. need to lie down for a bit.

he could move to follow the guy he loved!! we all knew it was love, we’ve always known it was love, but! the words. the words!!!!! brb sobbing.

i have only had jordan for a day and a half but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself. 11/10 would marry.

art forgery plot confirmed!

THIS WAS HOW IT HAD BEGUN

bitch fkajdkajksja GIVE ME A WARNING. 

still can’t compose myself RE the info that ronan saw adam and immediately sent a desperate prayer up to god 

will the word please ever be the same again? definitely not!

adam’s arms adam’s hands his lovely! boyish! hands!

the description of his expressions with all its contradictions and multitudes is just my favourite thing ever. it encapsulates everything i love about adam fucking parrish.

and the fact that ronan instantly recognised all those multitudes in him. there was always a level of understanding ronan had for adam throughout trc that no one else did and this tells us he had that before he even met him, he just... recognised something in him i just... ;______; 

please 

ronan knowing all the harvard stats because he was the person adam could crow to, how he takes on that adam that is still full of contradictions and multitudes, how he finds it hard but he absorbs all the facts and all of adam’s anxieties, even in the face of his own anxieties about adam leaving and falling in love with the shining, educated people that ronan thinks are better than him. that absolute, unwavering support 😭😭😭

tbh there’s a whole ass lot to unpack in this section so imma try and do it briefly (she says!)

ronan lynch is a romantic cdth confirmed: 

he could have texted adam but he liked the soft surprise of it

over the past few days ronan had played his reunion with adam over in his head MANY TIMES

adam i love you but that outfit sounds awful. you are a student, it’s a friday night, put some sweats on and stuff some cheetos in your mouth. 

the sweet nervousness of their reunion, how they walk past each other and both seem so uncertain. they’re a year into dating and the still get nervous and unsure after a few weeks apart and it’s CUTE and definitely speaks to their excitement/anticipation levels.

THE WATCH. big time softness. 

they hugged hard ;_____; 

im just so relieved that they’re allowed to touch each other and be intimate and aren’t consigned to the ‘boys in love aren’t like that boring boring’ corner. 

the way ronan thinks about how adam fits as he remembered. huh. you’re really gonna do this to me.

his hand still pressed against the back of ronan’s skull the way it ALWAYS did when they hugged. 

you smell like home. you smell like home!!!!!! brb ive gone absolutely fucking feral. 

i both want to play repo because it sounds fun and don’t want to because it sounds complicated and i fucking hate instructions. much confusion. 

adam pressing his shoe hard against ronan’s and then his leg and then breathing in ronan’s ear I AM HOWLING. ronan’s nerve endings being made a marvel of I AM SOBBING. it’s very important that m/m ships are afforded the same level of explicit attraction as m/f (and i don’t mean explicit as in nsfw, i mean as in obvious)

no offence because i love them but all of adam’s friends sound Extra™

“to the outside eye, ronan lynch was a loser” pls ronan, you are giving me an ulcer.

scary spice i asjkjdkjskdjak

queer crying club! i stan!!

also adam saying in the epilogue of trk that he wanted to save all the adam’s hidden in plain view and then going to college and scooping up all the criers and giving them something to do is far too much to handle.

don’t think about that and the time he thought about how he used to spend his nights crying on the trailer steps and wondering why he bothered until gansey came along and offered him friendship. dont think about how he’s essentially paying that forward DON’T THINK ABOUT IT.

hand holding, arms around each other, hip to hip walking, can’t wait anymore kissing, I MISSED YOU. love that for me! 

but also the fact that adam reaches down for ronan’s hand and its so natural. ronan’s hand is there so he just. takes it. 

hearing ronan’s thoughts on what happened with robert at last is A Lot. the way it’s still happening, always happening, kept fresh and savage shows how affected ronan was by it all and still is and i think its so important that he’s not just. angry and hot headed. there’s more to it than that. its painful, it makes him feel sick, its unending and it really speaks to how much adam means to him. 

adam thinks he has no one BITCH YOU’VE GOT ALL OF US. 

and ronan. 

but. how he feels like he has nothing still. the way his voice hitches on ‘because’ because it’s all still so painful. i wanna wrap him up. i wanna take everything that hurts away. i wanna tell him he’s so loved. guess i’ll just have to sit back and watch him work his way through it all I GUESS. no but i am looking forward to his growth in this trilogy, especially considering how much he’s grown already. adam parrish invented character growth lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

it had never been a fight between them/it was a fight between adam and himself, between adam and the world/for ronan it was a fight between truth and compromise, between the black and white he saw and the reality everyone else experienced. i LOVE this. it so well encapsulates them. and it’s so important that they can realise their differing world views and their complexities and meet in the middle somewhere.

“ronan put his lips on adam’s deaf ear, and he hated adam’s father” FUCK ME UP. my absolute favourite bit 103930%. absolute incoherent mess over here. not! okay! see other post for more coherency because i only had it for 5.7 minutes. 

frowning, guarded, crumpled adam who i’ll literally. never be over in all of my life. 38983/10 will love him until the end of time. 

i want it too much. !!!!!! going feral again over here. WHAT DO YOU WANT ADAM? I WANT IT TOO MUCH. definitely will never shut up about this. 

scared adam is going to be a visionary so pretending chapter 6 doesn’t exist. 

LINDENMERE ;________;

i love it already

i CANNOT believe that ronan is being dream invaded and challenged and he’s over here like hmm nice bike ELEGANT and ROUGH and READY like ADAM asjkasj please ronan you are so embarrassing!! 

also. ronan thinks adam is elegant and rough and ready so! there’s that!

i literally. cannot. cope with the HILARITY of chapter 8. the whole thing is a complete and utter DISASTER. it’s absolutely gone off in adam’s room after all his work at constructing a well put together boy. ronan comes for a night and everything goes BONKERS. amazing. 

(really worried about what this means RE ronan being able to exit the barns and grow and change and not be bored and not feel like a loser so we’re focusing on the hilarious disaster of it all.)

p.s. adam sleeping slotted between ronan and the wall OKAY. THIS IS FINE! 

p.p.s. adam’s bed hair is WILD. 

p.p.p.s i have missed adam and ronan so so so so so much and im an emotional fucking wreck

[papa-1-rights-activist]

Could you tell us some things about your characters?

thank you so much for this ask :D sorry for such a late response, but ngl i got very excited and started writing shit down as soon as i saw it, but then it turned into an entire essay and i had to cut down a ton of stuff until i decided to write it in a list of some sort kjhgkjfgkfg

currently i have like 11 fan characters in total so i will start with 4 to not infodump too much at a time

and i’ll admit that literally all of these guys were made for shipping purposes, but they all have different personalities and dynamics with canon characters. i’m such a sucker for writing couples, so many things to explore, that’s like my favourite thing ;w;

it got very long so imma put it under the cut \o/ (hopefully it works bc tumblr has been pretty unpredictable lately)

sorry if it’s probably way more than just “some things” but i couldn’t help it, i just love these guys so much and i don’t get to talk about them often u v u

e n j o y ~

imma start with the one you guys are more familiar with

Lucas

one of the cardinals in Ghost’s church

Mexican

in his late 40s (like 46-47)

hardworking, ambitious

pretty composed

huge „your teacher from english class who’s also a dad” energies

his character can be summed up to, as someone has said, „he’d kindly but sternly correct your shitty posture”

currently takes the 3rd place of most „best employee of the month” awards (Copia is 4th at that time)

he and Copia start off as rivals for the 2nd place (bc no one can beat whoever is the 1st)

but wouldn’t you guessed it, they end up dating

Lucas has a fair collection of various rodents, including rats. Actually, he’s the one who infected Copia with love for them. Luc prefers ferrets (that’s a rodent right kjhfgkjgh)

he doesn’t really get angry, but when he does he really goes off

he writes poetry, which is actually very, very bad, but Copia loves it to bits which makes Luc feel validated to write more

because his language is so similar to italian, Lucas can implement a lot of spanish into his conversations with Copia, while the other will reply in italian and they will still understand each other (ofc there are some exceptions that result in miscommunication, but that just makes it all more fun)

Copia shared with him that he’s writing music for his album (even tho he wasn’t supposed to tell anyone) and Lucas was more than happy to help him in the process…which was mostly moral support and a few suggestions.

he loves calling Copia “cariño”, “mi amorcito”, “mi alegría” and other cute names in spanish

once Lucas mentioned he used to play flute and Copia immediately decided to include a flute solo in one of his songs, so Luc could play it. Unfortunately things didn’t go as he planned and he had to change it to sax solo

The thing about Lucas is that Imperator sees him as a threat. She’s been plotting with Copia to get him to papacy for a long time, but in the end she isn’t the one who decides who will be in charge, so Copia has to work hard to deserve it. He was already a hard worker, but unfortunately Lucas works harder. It creates this dillema for Copia, bc on one hand he does want to become Papa and in order to do that he has to get rid off competition. But on the other he loves Lucas and he wants what’s best for him.

(i’ll probably post the pic above in a separate post with other doodles, i just wanted to show sth new and relevant)

Elise & Greg

Imma put these two together bc it’s impossible to talk about one without the other.

they work together in a company that takes art commisions such as paintings & murals and their restorations. They’re both pretty skilled in those departments, except Elise specialises in art restoration while Greg specialises in murals and frescos. And ofc one day they’re hired by the church.

they’re both pretty good at painting (but the thing about restoration is that you don’t have to be a great artist to do that, it has more to do with chemistry tbh)

They live together and have been very good friends for a few years now

they both went through some traumatic events in their lives, but maybe i’ll leave that part for another day (or i’ll leave it in my fanfic they’re from that i need to finish ;w;)

they’re very supportive of each other, but also they like to mess with one another

their chat is filled with horny texts about other people

Elise

34 years old

British

a bit awkward, tends to stutter when nervous

very sweet overall, feels the need to be everyone’s therapist

autistic, which shows mostly through her sensitivity to certain textures

hates onions (bc the texture is awful)

gets very emotional very quickly when she sees cute animals. She will use her baby talk to speak with them (which is sth that Copia does too with his rats and once he catches her doing that as well, he feels less embarrased about it)

Cirrus was the first one from the church to actually talk to her and show her around, making her feel a bit more welcome in an unfamiliar place

she talks through her sleep. A lot. Copia finds it very amusing…and adorable.

she discovers that Papa III has fallen hard for her friend way before he himself realises that, but then she’s also the kind of person to not see her own feelings for someone

she finds working on restoration quite relaxing. It’s sth she can fixate over and do for hours (even tho it’s not recommended)

a bit of a workaholic

another thing she finds relaxing is sitting in a corner somewhere warm and doodling people she sees around the abbey (mostly those she finds attractive lol so mostly Cirrus and Copia)

eventually ends up with Copia and Cirrus in a poly relationship

she also finds Cumulus cute, but the ghoulette isn’t interested in another romantic relationship. the one she has with Cirrus is enough for her.

Elise’s relationship with Copia is basically two dorks trying to impress the other while trying not to be too obvious about it, while her relationship with Cirrus is bisexual equivalent of „shy nerd has a crush on a cool girl leading the cheerleaders squad and shopes she doesn’t know. She knows.”

(had to doodle sth real quick bc i can’t believe that i don’t have a single good pic of him lol)

Greg

37 years old

Polish (bc ofc he is)

pretty stoic, might come off as cold

he gives cute nicknames to people he likes (in polish ofc)

he’s actually pretty cheesy and wholesome, but you wouldn’t know that bc he shows his affection through a language that no one understands (which is what he wants, he doesn’t want others to know he actually cares)

has some trust issues, so it’s harder for him to become friends with people

huge Scorpions fan. no, like really, he’s obsessed and will share his music taste with whoever will listen (which is mostly Eli and Papa III lol)

knows a few words in italian, but mostly those related to art after he’s been studying it for a few years. He doesn’t speak it, but he can read it.

he owns a guitar signed by Kirk Hammett (his musical crush)

he’s the kind of guy who will call the person he likes „my dear”, „my love”, „sweet pea” in his mother language and then tell that person it means „dickhead”, „loser” and „lazy ass”

his stay at the abbey is just laying under the ceiling and doing fresco for most of the day, visiting Elise in her art studio and dealing with Papa’s bullshit

Papa eventually starts coming up to lay beside Greg on the construction and watch him work. They tend to just lay in silence while a mix of Scorpions and ABBA plays from the radio. There’s barely any space for a second person, but Greg would lie if he said he didn’t find it endearing.

one time Greg fell off the construction and broke his leg bc of that dumbass (but it’s his dumbass uwu)

anyway he eventually starts dating Papa III

Papa purrs to Greg in italian and Greg speaks sweet words to him in polish (tho it took him a lot of time to get comfortable with that)

their relationship is your typical „1 brain cell and 1 dumbass” and under certain circumstances simply „2 disastrous dumbasses”

they once burnt down Elise’s apartment on accident and the only things they managed to save were the art supplies and Greg’s guitar

anyway

here are these guys in comparison to their partners in this silly style, bc all the other drawings are outdated ;w;

Melea

45 years old

American

fashion designer commissioned byt the Ghost’s church

huge fan of old rock

for a long time her relationship with Papa III was purely professional. He came to her studio, she took some measurements, they discussed what he would like and then he left and they didn’t see each other until the next meeting to try the outfit on, to make some changes, or for another project.

well that is until she asked him to stop putting his face paint on so he wouldn’t ruin the fabrics

i share this popular headcanon that Papa III is pretty self conscious about his clean face, so it was kind of hard to convince him at first

eventually their sessions became that much more personal because of that

she’s a bit superstitious, believing that some things may cause bad luck

collects crystals with good energy

she’s in a way a modern witch…but it’s not like she tries to be one

knows french fairly well, which allows her to talk to Papa (who also speaks it) when they don’t want others to understand them.

huge mum energy

loooves watching conspiracy theories. Sometimes she will pick one of the more ridiculous ones during her sessions with Papa and will argue and try to convince him it’s true, making it seem like she fully believes it, even if she doesn’t – just to fuck with him

and a few times she actually did convince him. Then had to tell him she wasn’t serious and oh my god the millenials aren’t killing the pillow industry by going vegan

anyway at some point they start dating which eventually leads to them getting married ;w;

her relationship with Papa is very soft and romantic. they have the same energy as Morticia and Gomez in regard of how loving they are to each other

also some chibis of these two bc again, all the other drawings are a bit outdated ;w;

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#1)

Right, monkey brain said no sleep no rest, only suffering at the hands of med.

I am going to start with the first episode of S2: Soul Care. Reasoning? I need to check if Latham references Ava in his first interaction with Connor.

If my memory serves me right, when Connor is passed over to Latham for his fellowship, Latham says that he was not his first choice. In fact, his first choice was a brilliant surgeon from South Africa. In the first episode of S2, a season where Ava Bekker is only introduced with one line at the end of the last episode.

If I remember correctly and Latham does actually say that in the first ep of s2, it will be huge for the continuity (and my theory that I came up with today, if you’re interested in following this you should really read that really long post that came a little before this where the basis of the theory is laid out). 

Also in rewatching this I see more of Sarah which, again, I have not seen in two years, and she was the reason I became invested in the show, and the reason I stopped watching after she left.

And all of this even before I start the episode.

There are so many emotions and thoughts running through my brain it literally hurts. I think i’m getting a headache. I’m already really regretting this, this cannot be healthy for me.

(btw, this will basically be a train of thought type thing, I’ll do my best to keep it coherent)

- omg its starting

- i completely forgot how s1 ended but its not importnat in anyway

- just, why are they in a helicopter

- how fast does the episode move ive forgotten and i need to know

-JESUS CHRIST SO DRAMATIC

- THE BEGINNING WITH WILL WHY

- it is at this point where I apologize to all those who made it this far bc we’re literally not even 30 seconds in yet

- i just have a lot of med thoughts

- oh god save me

- i am laughing hysterically

- JESUS CHRIST THE APRIL TB STORYLINE AND TATE WTF

- god that feels like a lifetime ago it was relevant holyshit

-remember when she was pregnant?

- literally what have I missed

- side note, i really like the cup april drinks out of.

-THERE SHE IS

-SARAH

-SHE’S HERE

-and she’s a barista

-literally wtf is this show

-and the dramatic music is still going literally chill man god

-THE WAY SARAH SMILES HOLY SHITTTT come on man there was literally no way i’d survive this but fuck not even a minute in...

- okay but i never understood charles’ family scenario but this is already too fucking long for a minute in so i hope we can just skip past that

-hahahah sharon’s fucking divorce? holy shit, this is too dramatic for the first ep literally save me (at least she acts well)

-yeah the one thing I will say about med (thats a lie ive already said a hundred but yk) is that for the crap storylines and all, the actors take what they’re given and give it their all and i appreciate it so much

-the helicopter’s number is N365UCC and just... succ

-ethans bird (!)

-also the fact that’s so big for ethan to be chief resident is so weird to me. like the last medical drama I watched was greys and they are all like grizzled veterans and have been doing that stuff for actual decades and i tend to put med and greys on like the same level bc they are the only medical dramas ive watched but.. holy crap the people on med are so young?? half their main cast is med students and residents. when nearly every main character on greys is a department head. its wild.

-proud of ethan. proud of my boy (did you know that adam jacobs who played aladdin on broadway was in a s3 episode? fun facts) (fun fact: did you know that ava is the only main character on the show who’s status is now deceased? I’ll shut up now.)

-oh my god i say roland buck III’s name and GOD noah jesus

- i find noah incredibly annoying, especially bc he tries to overshadow reese (my fav) but also just bc hes spoiled [that thing that said that one of the biggest mistakes med made was not having sarah get the emergency med residency at the end of s1 comes to mine, and the fact that noah got his residency easy peasy] - but, i will say that the moment at the end of this season where noah and reese dance together at the party is very adorable. (pre reesker brain showing lmao I really did love sarah with my whole heart) (moreover my snapchat memories were filled with just recordings of reese scenes lmaooooo)

-okay at this point I need to stop once i get to the potential ava thing bc what is happening we’re not even two minutes in why is this so long. (so many thoughts)

- i find will annoying but,,, he is kind of nice to look at. and what i mean is like facial acting (i am a lesbian). like. just. don’t speak. and when he’s being a good character he’s fine. it’s very few and very far between ig

-natalie annoys me so much and shes only had one line, and it wasn’t even a character line, it was mainly exposition.

-EW

-FUCKING EW

-ITS CONNOR HE’S HERE. god i forgot what he looked like in red scrubs and his poofy hair. child compared to s3 and s4. hopefully we see latham soon so we all don’t have to suffer through this. and he looks so angsty. he definetly glowed up in the later seasons.

- i have no clue how to spell definetly. I am guessing literally everytime.

-latham please come and end this all.

-oh haha there’s downey hes dead.

-okay so i actually watched s1 after i watched s2 which is so weird to think about. like that means that i liked s2 so much that i BOUGHT THE DVD FOR S1. yeah. I liked it that much (it really only means I was that much of a simp for sarah). but it also means that technically i watched s1 after i met ava?? like i honestly had NO CLUE what was in my future. did young me ever think she was going to stay up late at night, avoiding history hw while analyzing a defunct character from this show on a whim? a character i was super annoyed with at the beginning? who has no become a huge part of my personality? honestly? no. no she did not.

-and the story with downey was so jarring. and the story with zanetti. like i think i first started watching with the first ep of s2 (the one im talking about rn) and i was a bit lost. so going back and watch s1 to like connect the dots. but i never expected the dots to look like that. its like each season of this show is a completely different show from all the other seasons. like i’ve said before, this show is a headache. but literally latham please come and end this for now.

-GOD CONNOR LOOKS SO YOUNG WHAT THE HELL thats so weird lmaooooo

- like i had absolutely no clue who downey was going into this. and they they started talking like ‘oh yeah he killed his attending’ and i was just like ‘damn bro ill cheers to that’

- that’s literally ava’s first line actually. “i heard your girlfriend went insane and you murdered your attending.” - which was why she was hated at first. that was literally her first line to connor which is like, so hilariously rude that it was instantly iconic.

-also HAHAHAHAH CUE FUCKING ANGST ABOUT CONNOR HURTING EVERYONE AROUND HIM WTF BRO THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON PEOPLE

- but i’m also sad now. --- “I heard your girlfriend went insane.” Oh. Oh, sweetie. Ava... No. --- but why does s2 ava (all two lines) foreshadow s4 ava in so many ways. like literally what were the writers on.

-baghdad.

-ah yes. the return of baghdad. been a long time since i heard that one, but it is easily one of my favorite running things about med. its just a little detail but the nick name is like perfect. (when i read fanfic where the chars are actually doing doctor stuff in the hospital it makes me light up) the WORLD BUILDINGGGGG. but whatever

-this is the girl who has the fake baby right? that was a really good ep (bc sarah content. can you see my favorites? for the same reason the one where the girl has split personalities easily ranks high with me.) oh wait this is the one where the dad like dies but then comes back for a split second to see his grand child. there’s not really a lot I can say about that, but the fact that i remember it vividly is... weird.

-okay but I actually love the ED in this show. I love how the show is centered around the ED and not the OR like greys. its fast paced, you see a lot about the characters really quickly (one of the reason’s connor’s intro to the hospital in the pilot is certified iconic in my mind [his interactions with will are gold]). the team works well together (usually, when things are good. - which is another reason I hated the show more as time went on. The personal lives interfered more and more and more with their work as time went on. it got so annoying). but like right here will just calls maggies name and maggie is just On It. I love it. I love the fast pace. it’s why this show got me to come back. so many things happen, it overloads my brain, like the way a video game works y occupying all of your attention.

-when is the dad gonna pass out i’m just waiting

-AHAHAHAHAHA JEFF NOOOOO. what even was the deal with jeff that storyline annoyed me so much I never got it. he was friends with nat’s husband (who died) and they were both named Jeff? and she actually ended up getting with Jeff a few times?

- the more you watch med and see how the characters get with each other, the more jaded you become

-omg they’re transferring the girl to the bed i love it when they count

-maggie was great but from what i heard/read they ruined her character too??? just not the same

-lmao only real g’s remember the chicago fire backdoor med pilot (if you want an explanation ask me lmao it was a ride)

- i was a real med simp bc I bought that episode on apple video.

-ahahaha this is so stupid. Jeff tries to do things and Will (being a fucking asshole and jealous, doesnt’ let him). he’s a med student let him fucking learn. also i remember why i hated will

-okay but if you look at greys vs. med, greys literally gives their med students no rights. scratch that. they give they’re interns little to no rights. (i only watched the last three seasons bc lesbian, but in those seasons they introduce the bottom of the totem pole, the sub I’s, who are a step ahead of med students, yet they are jokes on the show.) its just a weird juxtaposition is all.

-”lungs are wet.” dramatic music intensifies.

-OKAY BUT I LITERALLY FORGOT NATALIE SPECIALIZED IN PEDS. LIKE I COMPLETELY 100% FORGOT. HOLY SHIT THATS SO FUNNY i can’t believe in my mass hyperfixation i forgot, just more proof that she doesn’t deserve anything.

-why did will make nat do that call? also idk why but is it weird to anyone else when the characters call each other but just.. their names.

-ahahahah i laugh literally everytime i remember that will is supposed to be in charge like he is threatened by anything that MOVES. (also more juxtapositon to greys bc here the attendings are treated as a joke!)

- hly shit i just remember monday mourning and god damn the angst literally never takes a day off but whatever.

- i dont usually get like this but the dad’s acting here is actually making me sad lol. Usually i get annoyed when family members get emotional (im weird uhhhh)

-why did we have to watch the tube being put in for so long - med is so dramatic this fucking show whyyyy

- i bet u the dad is gonna pass out

-oh ig not oops

-OKAY FUCK ME THAT LITERALLY ONLY TOOK US TO THE TITLES HOW DO I HAVE THESE MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS.

-wait latham introduction we may just be able to call it here.

-haha i fucking hate him (connor). he just... comes off so fake-charming its annoying. i cant get over it lmao

-okay but literally every gives connor shit and I am here for it. Latham: “did you kill him?”

- it is literally so funny but annoy how connor throws hands with literally everyone in his path (like dude just chill come onnn)

-okay. okay. okay. finally the part i was waiting for.

- Latham: I preferred a young woman from Groote Schuur, but I was outvoted.

That’s an actual quote, from Latham. For those who are wondering, Groote Schuur is a famous hospital in, you guessed it, South Africa. This is where I’m calling the episode. This is all I needed.

I just want to restate. This is the first episode of season 2. Ava Bekker is introduced to the show in the last episode of season 2. What does this mean, my friends? It means everything.

For those of you who stuck through to the end, I am very thankful. Here we have probably the first piece of evidence to my theory, at least chronologically.

I, personally, think it’s absurd I remembered this point, but I did. That point, that line, presently, watching this episode with no idea of what the future holds, is only there to tell us that Latham and Connor are not going to agree. But this is the single greatest piece of foreshadowing med has ever done.

Med has never planned anything. I feel confident when I say that. Look at their storylines. They are literally on fire, and every decision the characters make reads like the writers going ‘we have no idea how we made it this far, we thought we would get stopped like ten steps ago.’

When has med ever planned things more than a few episodes in advanced, honestly? Almost never, and going a full season sitting on a plot point, that’s major. This was the first time med has ever planned something miles in advance.

In all honestly, yes I am probably giving the med writers a lot more credit than they deserve. It’s quite possible that as the season progressed they just decided connor needed a new love interest or at least a new dynamic, so they could have just easily looked back and thought ‘oh, hey, here’s a fun little thing we said earlier in the season, wouldn’t it be fun if it paid off?’ That could be true.

Here’s why it probably isn’t. The med writers have no respect for their own continuity. you really think that, in order to come up with a whole new character, they went back to the first episode of the season and paid off a line that is said in less than 2 seconds? no way. Bull. Shit.

honestly, it is probably equally unlikely that either of these things happened. The med writers don’t look back at their story. It’s true, but they also don’t plan things in advance either.

here’s the thing, the more i write, the more absurd it starts to sound. Yeah. Sure. the med writers sat on a character for an entire season, that’s totally a thing that happened and not sarcasm. When pigs fly. everyone knows med is impulsive and messy. But what I am saying is that they planned one thing. One thing.

Ava has an accent. That was a commitment. A pretty uncommon one too. South Africa is such an out of the box choice that god its barely on the map. It asks a lot of someone to act hard while also doing an uncommon accent. If the med writers just decided they needed to give connor a new dynamic, they could have made it a n y o n e. Yeah, sure it would have been nice to have the latham dynamic with the new character, but it would have been so much easier to just create a new character that doesn’t have such a commitment. We all know people who play opposite of Connor Rhodes do not stay around that long.

There is absolutely no reason Connor’s s3 love interest had to be the girl from South Africa. It could have literally been anyone. They could have kept Robin on. They could have made the new character not have so many specific requirements.

At this point, I’m pushing this really hard. Yeah, obviously Ava was planned from the beginning of s2. She had to be. It’s way too specific to be anything else.

What I’m pointing out here is med has never done that before. (at least to my knowledge, if i’m wrong please tell me i don’t want to be a fool) They have never had such a concrete plan for a character, so much as to tease them a full season before they were introduced.

I’m saying, that Ava was special. She was the only character who was teased ahead of her arrival. The one who they knew they wanted, other than the originals, and honestly saying the ‘knew what they wanted to do with the originals’ is being generous. But Ava was different. They had big plans for Ava.

It’s undeniable. Ava was the only character who was planned and teased ahead of her arrival. Ava has such a different style and character than anyone else on the show. She was always planned to be, even when she was just being teased, a rival to connor, meaning she could stand her own against him (or without him).

Now of course, the med writers forgot this when writing s4 and s5. But for the purposes of the important things, all that really matters are the two mentions in s2, and what happens in s3. (for the theory at least).

In conclusion: think about how odd it is that Ava was the only character that was planned over the course of the show. Like sure the characters are planned, but never this far in advance. Med writers don’t really plan anything. I would be shocked if they did anything but through a dart at a spinning wheel. But they had plans for Ava, and they had plans for s3, when she was good.

Think about how odd it is that the med writers had a character planned from the start of s2, that they sat on for a whole season. They never, ever did something so slow and deliberate. Never. It goes against their formula. Like a fucking shark, they have to be moving or they die, at least in their heads. But Ava was always a change to the formula. They had a plan for s3.

that’s it for now. we will see what happens when i watch the last episode of s2.

read the next parts:

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra

[troofless]

Just finished watching a walkthrough of Tales of Zestiria, and I must say it is as HYPE as its opening.

My favourite parts:

Sorey and Mikleo bickering — actually, every sormik scene

I swear 99.9% of Mikleo revolves around Sorey, the other 0.1% is him getting teased by everyone (this could be his biggest writing strength and flaw depending on who you ask)

The opening song. A BANGERRRRRR

The different branching routes you can take in Ladylake. Sell the knife? The pipe? Don’t sell both? Sell the pipe later on to get a cool hat as well? How do you enter the Sacred Blade ceremony? YOU CAN CHOOSE

Mikleo leaving Sorey, in the game: Oh don’t worry, Mikleo will be fine, I trust Mikleo to take care of himself :) :)

In the anime: dkjasfnlD MIKLEO DID WHAT??! LAILAH WE MUST GO AFTER MIKLEO RIGHT AWAY

Tbh the argument ‘arc’ he has with Sorey? One of the best parts of the game.

'Does a frog think of getting rid of snakes?’ ‘OH SO AM I A FROG NOW?’ ‘Your LIABILITY will be waiting in the inn’

When in the manga this slow burn (JUST GET CONTRACTED WITH MIKLEO ALREADY) gets extended to after Sorey contracts with Edna

When Mikleo calls Sorey out on his blindness in a skit THEY NOTICE EVERYTHING ABOUT EACH OTHER OKAY

Yeah also, just thinking about how Sorey’s known Mikleo’s true name for a long time now HNNNRNNHSDGGGGGHHHH

Mikleo using his rod not as a conduit for magic but as a whacking tool. He has a mystic arte Crystal Rod where he throws his rod at the enemy saying NOPE (best...) and a mystic arte Final Player where he uses it like a hammer saying “I’ll crush you! Again! Again and again!!” smacking the enemy into the ground LOLLLL

That One Mystic Arte where Edna rides on her umbrella like it’s a flying broomstick and shoots out earth rocks with a finger gun

Zaveid coming out of nowhere at random times, busting out his persona shooting himself in the head and demanding that they fight him

Rose shaking her hands with Sorey at supersonic speed when Sorey gets her to hear the seraphim and she thinks she’s hearing ghosts

The whole ‘we’re married’ scene when they get to Rolance, and the whole joke of Sergei continuing to think Rose and Sorey are married

Dezel laughing at Lailah’s lame animal jokes in the background

Dezel not being able to see, but that’s okay… because he can read the wind!

Dezel being the walking encyclopaedia for all animals and plants bc he’s been everywhere

Rose wants to catch a butterfly and sell it for money, but Dezel interjects and tells her it’s a ‘shae monyurose’ moth, so Rose gives up on catching it, saying people don’t pay a lot for moths

Another skit where Sorey and Rose want to catch these rabbits to eat, (they’re cute... AND delicious.) Dezel is horrified and chases them away by shouting really loudly (HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??!!)

Everyone who plays Zestiria complaining about how Alisha isn’t a permanent team member, then having mixed debates about whether the anime saved or broke the story with Alisha-Armatization

ZAVEID RUNNING DOWN A WALL

“My way is to put the hellions back in hell” Zaveid says while doing the Dio pose

WRYYYYYYY

I love how he just appears out of nowhere and gets him to fight you, multiple times, in both Zestiria AND Berseria

Dezel suggesting they could just fly all the way to the top but Sorey and Mikleo go “But we WANT to see the ruins...!”

In the bad ending Heldalf is just like ‘nothin doing… just standing here…’ when the team goes in and slays him

Heldalf: You want to defeat me, right? But if you do, you can’t get the TRUE ending… bitch

Sorey:

I love how Rose and Alisha are uncommon heroines, using lances and twin blades instead of magic (Mikleo takes that one, hah). 

It’s like the writers of Zestiria were like Hmm. How do we explore the dark elements in this game by showing how people in Age of Chaos possess immense malevolence in their hearts and align it to the main story, and then went, Got it. Assassins. (Story of how Shepherd Sorey went gallivanting around with a princess *cough cough redactedbecauseshedoesn’texistinthegame* and an assassin~~)

Mikleo: Zaveid, there is literally NO REASON for us to fight. At all.

Zaveid: You gotta beat this ass first

And I think that is very sexy of him

Apparently if you take Dezel out of your team during the third fight with Zaveid, he will yell at you

Zaveid, T-posing on the ground: oh don’t mind me, just setting death flags for the only other wind seraph in this game so I can fill the XXX-shaped hole in your team later on in the game. Also here, take my glock

Dezel 🤝Eizen

    being the same person

GIVE ME THE HIDDEN DEZEL AND ZAVEID LORE (but Dezel doesn’t appear in Berseria…)

Rose “I just noticed, whenever Mikleo gets angry, it always has something to do with Sorey” after merchants look at Sorey and think he’s a con artist Shepherd, then in a later skit comments that No, that’s not true Mikleo does get angry even when it doesn’t involve Sorey, then Sorey says, Nah, he’s not angry, just overreacting.

When the plot says Sorey and Mikleo were destined to be the Shepherd and Sub Lord all along :o :v :O

THEY ARE FRIGGIN MARRIED OKAY

BOTH OF THEM. FROM THE SAME VILLAGE. BABIES. RED STRING OF FATE AAAAAA

Sorey and Mikleo in a skit talking about how they’re not really affected by their past bc their real family now is Elysia. It’s a really quiet and sweet moment.

Zaveid in a skit doing flower fortune readings bc he’s worried that the group hates him bc he was all FIGHT ME! before, but Lailah cheers him up with her own flower fortune telling (‘Uh, your origami flower only has... one petal Lailah’) saying Zaveid is their friend AWWWW

GIVE ME THE HIDDEN LAILAH AND ZAVEID LOREEEEEE

gdi I know we see more Pacifist!Zaveid in Berseria but I want a sequel nowwwwww

Sorey and Mikleo having a final conversation under the stars

SOREY FILLS IN MIKLEO ON HIS PLAN breaking the trope of not telling his team that he’s going to save the world by disappearing

One of the main messages Zestiria delivers is how one person shouldn’t take all the burden on themselves and how Sorey learns to rely on other people

Like Lailah staying silent bc of her oath and how that pains her

Like Mikleo... forming a pact with Sorey.....

God I love Zestiria for breaking tropes everywhere

Did I mention how Alisha and Rose have such good platonic relationships with Sorey? Yeah and you can take out the romantic hinting and it is still a good relationship? Without any shoehorning of ‘forced het couple’?

Sorey calling back to the time he had to close his senses to get Alisha to hear Lailah, tying it back into the main plot!!!! :o GALAXY BRAIN

SOREY PUTTING DEZEL’S HAT ON IN THE STARRY SKY CUTSCENE AND ROSE AND ZAVEID TRYING TO TAKE IT BACK

How the hell is Muse alive and not, like, a hag

Love how the final part is Sorey going “I’ll defeat you with the power of friendship!! And this gun I found”

*flashback to AFOvsAll Might* Sorey: You thought it was over with that punch? I have TWO HANDS!!!!

Ok no lie the final fight was epic

THIS... IS MY EVERYTHING!!!!!!

fsdljfnsdkflsfs;fsf look all the seraphim went into the battle not expecting to live and Sorey went in fully expecting to kill his seraphim friends and prepared to KILL

Compared to the start when Sorey was full-out 'don’t kill hellions Zaveid how could you!!!!’, you can see how the darker themes shine here

What I wouldn’t give for a corrupted!Sorey though, I was expecting it bc of clips I saw on Youtube BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! Lowkey sad tho. Would love an arc where Sorey gets overcome by malevolence and becomes, like a jerk, but as like a morally grey character not fully blown evil (like Jerk Rose ig)

The epilogue with everyone!!! The Lord of the Lands (yeah Uno is very pretty)!!! Lucas!!!! Sergei and Alisha!!! The little drawings in the credits detailing Sorey’s journey!!!! Awwww

Overall a happy ending for Sorey and friends which is GREAT

SMOL SOREY AND MIKLEO EXPLORING RUIN TRAPS AT THE END

oh god I swear they are lowkey married they just don’t mention it to anyone look if you go back and play the whole thing with that in mind NOTHING ABOUT THE PLOT CHANGES

Mikleo my friend you have too many cape thingys on your back PLEASE

The callback to Sorey catching Mikleo though is so cute. In the anime we get the callback to “So this is the world!” htgdgmfgmmmmgfg idk the anime is one hole I don’t want to explore rn

sfaljdfsdlf but yeah though the epilogue was nice and clean and up to reader’s imagination, I wished they expanded more on the epilogue (LET US SEE SOREY..... *fighting back tears*), at least THANKS TO THE ANIME we get to see post-Heldalf Alisha and Rose tho hnggggrrgh

*chanting* D-L-C, didn’t know they had a D-L-C

DLC

ROSALI VIBES jkahdfjksdfs give it all to meeeee

Rose and Alisha catfighting sjdnflsjdfadfhgnfghth THIS IS THE ICONIC ROSALI VIBE I SWEAR

Because of this, this DLC is now elevated to god standards

Edna and Lailah casually talking while Rose and Alisha roll in the background LMAOOOO

Rose must be the most unconventional Shepherd ever and that is GREAT

Bruh is Alisha wearing an abbreviated costume of Mikleo’s

Anyway she’s so cute in her DLC outfit!!!

Alisha ditching keigo is so. Very. Cute.

Alisha and Sorey: :) :D :)))

Alisha and Rose: Bitch. }:(  >:V

Love the girl’s party vibe, and how we get cameos of Zaveid and Mikleo (LET US SEE MORE DEVASTATED MIKLEO PLEASE....) along the way

Sadly no more DLC episodes :( wonder why that got axed, bc fans didn’t like it?

Overall I must say the Zestiria cast is awesome, I really like all the characters and how they are fleshed out very neatly with their own quirks and goals. Edna being god tier with her monotone sarcasm (she is QUEEN....), Zaveid being that dumbass that looks like a stripper (HIM.... baby...), Mikleo being ultimate waifu and how his comedic moments shine with Edna and everyone else when he’s being teased, Sorey being so pure and cute when he geeks out with Mikleo and how his character arc is just such a refreshing take on the hero archetype, Dezel with his stoicness Imma Get Revenge but also his cast knowledge and love for animals, Rose for exploring the side of reality in the malevolence in people’s hearts and her :3 smile and her determination to get things done and how she’s so different from Sorey which only brings out her charm, Lailah with her awful puns and eccentricity and quiet compassion. And uh, Alisha for being the bait-and-switch heroine but a decent character with her own personal goals that are separate from the main character. Sergei and Lucas are also very lovable.

As for the setting, Rolance and Hyland as two kingdoms seem a little small scale compared to lets say if they added one more kingdom, but seeing as this is a 2015 game I think the exploration map is pretty good (then I compare to Xenoblade Chronicles which came out in 2010 and just change the subject). Love the outside game mechanics Giant’s Fist, Wind Stepping and Water Shield (when Mikleo protects Sorey with that!!! And Sorey calls him out by saying he’s been practicing it for a long time... And you recall every time Mikleo asks Dezel and the other older seraphim to teach him stuff so he can get stronger to help Sorey and how 99.9% of his character revolves around Sorey). ‘That spinny mist thing sure gets the job done’ haha. 

Anyway, great game and plot, please go check out if you have time, esp rn since animes and other games coming out will be stalled it is a great time to check out older games aaaaaaa

[autumnrory]

okay ik like everything’s been said about steve’s ending in endgame and i’ve made a million little posts but i’ve been meaning to write my own essay bc i’m MAD (if u liked it for him then like i’m sure u don’t wanna read so u can scroll on past) and there’s a lot of other stuff i didn’t like/that didn’t make sense about the movie but this post is about steve anyway let’s go

so from what i can tell there is not even a consensus among people who liked the ending whether it’s the same timeline or an alternate timeline but let’s talk about the possibilities here and what they mean, at least based on my understanding

option 1: same timeline

this means one of two things. either steve was actually peggy’s husband all along OR by going back and marrying her, that erases her husband and children entirely.

so if steve was peggy’s husband all along, that means that?? old steve has been walking around this entire time and nobody knew about it? this means that in 2016 sharon carter was like “you know what would be fun? kissing my great uncle when he’s young and hot” which WOW i thought it was icky before just bc she was PEGGY’S niece? marvel might have just made that worse. and hey, i’ll be fair, i’m sure in the very little time they likely took to think about this ending, they definitely weren’t thinking about sharon, considering they hardly thought about her when she was actually appearing in the movies. if steve was peggy’s husband all along, that means she was lying in the smithsonian footage, which hey, i don’t doubt her ability to lie, but the whole ass video is floating around out there and i’m just not sure you can fake that kind of emotion. when they ask her about her being the last person to talk to steve? that is a person talking about losing someone they cared for six years ago. it just contradicts so much of catws and other parts of the mcu (and the idea that people have that this was the plan the entire time? yeah fucking right the writers do not plan like that if they did there wouldn’t be so many fucking inconsistencies in this universe. i’m willing to bet they couldn’t name peggy’s husband in catws bc they were planning agent carter and thought there would be an explicit confirmation of who it was) and anyway, even if steve was her husband all along, there’s no way either steve or peggy could have KNOWN that she didn’t have a future being erased. so would either of them have really WANTED to take that chance?

the other option is of course that peggy moved on from steve, fell in love with somebody else, got married, had children, grandchildren, etc. if that’s the case, that means steve just changed her entire storyline. and who knows what marrying steve could have changed. it just........okay, agent carter was the first thing in the mcu i watched before i even knew shit about captain america (literally when they showed flashbacks i was like *maria hill voice* who’s this guy) but while we don’t know with any certainty that daniel sousa was the guy she ended up married to, i would have to guess steve went back to BEFORE she and daniel got together, meaning that like the entirety of agent carter is probably erased. her whole INCREDIBLE journey. i’ve read a million things the last week so if someone can let me know who the fuck said this, please do, but anyway someone said peggy’s story really begins when steve goes into the ice and it’s SO TRUE. “i have lived a life. my only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.” LET THEM KEEP THE LIVES THEY WERE MEANT TO LIVE. and anyway, i just think there’s no way, going back and changing who she marries wouldn’t also alter SO MUCH of what she did, and therefore our timeline.

either way, this option goes against everything about steve. i don’t care if he IS tired of fighting, there’s still no way he would sit quietly and not try to prevent things from happening. assassinations, hydra infiltrating shield, his BEST FRIEND being tortured and brainwashed for seventy years.

steve: if i see a situation pointed south, i can’t ignore it. sometimes i wish i could. tony: no you don’t. steve: no i don’t.

again, i’ll be fair, several years have passed since steve said that, but i just don’t buy the idea that he’s gonna sit back quietly, when his character through the whole mcu has been about fighting for what’s right 

option 2: alternate timeline

i’ve seen some people say it’s because of the bracelets they used that would have allowed steve to jump back into our timeline when he’s old and be in the right place at the right time but like..........what’s the point. he ditched his friends and lived through seventy years without them so am i expected to believe that this steve (i don’t know him) even really cares about handing off the shield to sam (which, i did want, just in the form of our steve retiring and living his own life in the PRESENT) idk that last scene was just so much so fast and i was so mad watching it unfold i could hardly stand it so whatever

so okay say steve goes back to peggy and creates an alternate timeline by doing so, maybe in this timeline he rescues bucky and prevents a bunch of other things from happening

........but wasn’t the point of returning the stones to when and where they got them (which, of course we know the only reason steve was doing this alone was to get to this ending, but it’s ridiculous considering they had a whole team going to all different places in the movie WHATEVER) to PREVENT the creation of an alternate timeline? that’s why the ancient one was hesitant about giving bruce the time stone because it would create a branch or whatever IT MAKES NO SENSE.

this theory at least doesn’t necessarily screw over peggy since...our peggy would still exist and the steve and peggy we saw at the end of the movie would be in an alternate timeline

but it does go against the time travel rules as i understand them and it still fucks up steve’s characterization

whatever

everything’s fucked anyway

if they ever address it, whatever the mcu logic is, all these possibilities have flaws/leave plot holes because they really hardly gave any thought to their characters OR their time travel logic bc they wanted to force this ending

seriously all the peggy references throughout the movie like?? ofc he’s still gonna have that compass and i guess still carry it around since he’s been on the run and hasn’t a permanent place and therefore no safe place to keep it but....he looks at her picture before they go after thanos? it would make more sense if he looked at a picture on his phone of like him, bucky and sam or something. he’s at that group meeting five years later and talks about the loss of his chance with peggy which was u know like a decade ago for him (and i know i don’t like people saying ‘oh just get over it’ i don’t mean it like that i just mean like.......he was willing to move on in cacw - with her NIECE but whatever - and suddenly it’s like he’s never ever been over her and calling her the love of his life) instead of talking about the loss of bucky and sam, two of his best friends? wanda? t’challa? maria? nick? even the way he dresses is very reminiscent of the first avengers when he’s JUST woken up, but he gets away from that throughout the cap movies and gets more used to modern life. endgame does everything to force the idea that he’s still completely uncomfortable in this time. as if what? twelve years in the twenty-first century would mean going back to the 1940s makes you just as much a man out of time.

AND PEGGY. my god, i’ve loved peggy’s story though the mcu and look what this fucking movie did. peggy doesn’t even have fucking lines. we don’t even hear her talk when he stares longingly and dramatically at her through a window (it really reminded me of that jess/rory scene in the gilmore girls revival and hey that was a pairing i thought SHOULD have ended up together, but should not have had all that pining very similarly like ten years later it’s just weird the disappointments i feel in both of these things are so similar but that’s beside the point). we don’t get to see them have a conversation when he goes back to her. tony talked to howard and thor talked to frigga and we didn’t see steve talk to peggy. if she’s supposed to be The Love Of His Life (does marvel know if she could have another love of her life then so could he but whatever) and is suddenly his reason for everything or whatever they’re trying to play at, shouldn’t we get more than a longing look (not even a mutual one, like all the ones we got in catfa) and the dance? peggy carter is AMAZING and she doesn’t even really get a say. they reduced her to the object of steve’s affection and nothing more and it’s HORRIBLE.

frigga said “you’re not my thor” and i think peggy, be it 40s peggy or 70s peggy, would recognize that this is not her steve. look at everything he’s been through the last decade. he’s been through so much and yes, his relationship with peggy was a missed chance, but....the steve of now is not the steve that she lost. and i think no matter how much she might have wanted it to be whenever he came back to her, she would have known that and she would have sent him back home where he belongs, with his new family, in the present.

peggy was the one who said in catws “the world has changed and none of us can go back. all we can do is our best and sometimes the best that we can do is to start over.” steve’s whole story since waking up has been about moving on and making peace with the fact that he lost his chance at the life he could have had after the war (much as i hate aou, it does touch on that fact, he says someone who wanted family and stability or w/e isn’t who came out of the ice and he says at the end of the movie “i’m home” THIS IS HIS HOME MARVEL HERE AND NOW). the fact that the trailer used peggy’s quote about moving forward and then fucking went against the whole ass point.......wild

and i hate to say this i really do.........but not in a satisfying way, just in an it-would-make-sense way. i didn’t want any characters to die, i think after seeing characters suffer so much they deserve a happy ending (so don’t tell me i don’t want steve to be happy because i do i’ve been yelling about how he needs to rest since cacw). but. BUT. it would have made more sense if he died, if he sacrificed himself, because that was a thing he constantly did throughout the mcu, just ya know, he always survived it. going down in the plane in catfa, on the helicarrier in catws, in sokovia in aou, and so on

and lemme tell you, steve dying? that was my Big Fear for this movie, i didn’t want to believe they would go there (i never expected they would go there with tony AND NAT god i’m mad about her too but that’s not what this post is about) but i was prepared for the possibility. when i first saw the theory floating around about him going back in time to be peggy, i didn’t think it was feasible (and it’s not! truly! it makes no sense!) and i didn’t think they would do something as complicated as messing with time like that (boy was i wrong) so i wrote it off. but i think.......what happened feels worse, because character death in movies like these can p much always be fixed you know? even if canon doesn’t, fic can keep everything canon gives us and still be like ‘oh they’re not actually dead because ____’ and this....this can’t be changed. fic has to change the ending. that last five minutes. five minutes fucked up ten years of characterization. anyway.

so here’s what i was thinking about? while not exactly the same because it was ya know parents they lost, thor had a conversation with frigga, tony had a conversation with howard. imagine if it had been steve on the mission to get the soul stone. and okay as a clintasha stan (fuck you aou) i LOVED that scene until nat’s death, i loved them fighting each other to be the one to go. but if it had been steve and maybe still nat too, he could have had his own blast from the past like thor and tony did with the red skull because idt he ever even found out it was the red skull in the soul world (is that what it’s called i forget), bc iirc clint just said something about a red guy. anyway it could have made for some nice catfa parallels with steve and red skull and if he WAS with nat it could have made for a nice aou parallel when they stay to get all the citizens out of there (”where else am i gonna get a view like this?” bc both my babies are willing to sacrifice themselves to save the world). but imagine when the relationship between steve and natasha has also been such a big part of the mcu, the two of them learning to trust each other and protect each other, and save each other, imagine both of them disagreeing over who should be the one to die, maybe not in the same way as clint and nat, not with physically trying to keep the other down, but...fighting about it nonetheless. imagine natasha watching him fall, imagine her returning without him.

of course this would’ve made me mad too because that would’ve meant not just that steve died, but that he died without getting to see bucky and sam again. but at least it would’ve MADE NARRATIVE SENSE and not fucked up his character, because it’s exactly the kind of thing he would do. anyway, it didn’t even have to be this idea of mine, it didn’t even have to be death at all, i just think...it would have made more sense than chasing after this fantasy of a life that he realized (and seemed to accept) he couldn’t have years ago.

now. what i’ve been screaming for the last week. to put it simply: STEVE WOULD NEVER. steve wouldn’t take peggy’s past away from her. steve wouldn’t leave bucky and sam and his other friends behind after all the hell they’ve been through, after half the population just woke up five years in the future, something he's experienced on a much larger scale. steve could have still given up being captain america. could have said, hey i still wanna do good but i don’t wanna fight aliens and shit anymore and i wanna have a chance to actually live my life. he could have given the shield to sam (okay ik the shield was destroyed at that point but u know what i mean) and that could have been the perfect ending for him, to get his happiness with who and what he still has, to truly make peace with what he’s lost.

and i can’t say all this without getting into bitter stucky territory. the entire fucking captain america trilogy has revolved around steve’s relationship to bucky. protecting bucky, saving him, believing in him when no one else will. he went on that mission in catfa based on the hope that bucky was alive, he lost him when he fell from that train. when steve found out bucky was alive, he gave up fighting him HE DROPPED HIS SHIELD he was willing to die on that helicarrier trying to save bucky, trying to get him to remember. with sam’s help they spent two years trying to find bucky and okay i’m not gonna get into why cacw bugged me that’s not this post but he STILL was trying to keep bucky safe, still believing in bucky, just....everything it’s too much to even put into words what the two of them mean to each other, what they do for each other.

bucky and steve haven’t really had a chance to be back in each other’s lives since cacw. bucky went back into cryo and sure we can assume steve’s visited him since he woke up but steve’s been on the run with sam and nat like........they’ve had very little time together. and steve just lived another five years without bucky AND sam and ditched them immediately? for someone he had a relationship with ten years ago? for someone he obviously was not meant for BECAUSE they DIDN’T end up together because he went down in that plane and she moved on and i’m just!!!

and anyway is bucky really like okay? like i saw that vid where the fan asked about the movie properly ending their story and they totally bullshitted an answer about them being able to be separate or whatever but like they’ve hardly been able to be TOGETHER, they’ve been pulled apart over and over. and like, yes bucky has his life in wakanda and he has sam but we haven’t really seen much of those relationships so we don’t actually know how much that means! steve is the only person who can understand even somewhat what bucky’s been through (obvs other mcu characters know what it’s like to have their minds fucked with whereas steve doesn’t know what that part’s like, but bucky hasn’t interacted with those characters unfortunately) so ya know at least in terms of adjusting to a whole new life after your old one was ripped away, steve’s all he’s got. ofc now other people will get a sense of that, but still. in terms of history, shared life experience, steve and bucky are all each other have.

all bucky and steve share in this movie is an exchange that literally already happened in catfa but in reverse. they couldn’t even give us an original MOMENT. and bucky apparently knew what steve was gonna do which just makes it WORSE, like he just had to accept it and let steve go, let steve be someone else. if they wanted to end steve’s arc properly, it would’ve been about bucky because THAT’S what steve’s whole fucking story has been about, and the writers and directors who literally made steve’s arc that way fucking ignored that bc they’re homophobic (and misogynistic) goodbyeeeee like u cannot deny that tearing bucky and steve apart permanently isn’t a slap in the face to stucky shippers, they’ve been giving less and less since catws when they realized how obviously romantic their story is. it’s just fucking cruel (don’t get me started on using the song from right before steve and bucky’s first interaction in catws for the dance as soon as it started playing i wanted to SCREAM ik it’s possible they didn’t know it was an association with stucky buuuuuut with social media ppl very easily know what the fandom is saying so. who knows it just fucking sucked) to put an end to the stevebucky relationship when they haven’t had a real chance to be together, even as just friends, since catws, and it’s especially cruel to end their relationship THIS WAY

anyway this ending (JUST A FEW MINUTES REALLY) just does a disservice to steve AND peggy AND bucky and their stories and i’m just so disappointed and angry on their behalf. if anyone wants to talk about it to me FEEL FREE as long as you’re not a dick bc i obvs love to commiserate with the fandom over this MESS

[welcometoteamz]

Since there’s a new influx of iZombie roleplayers I figured I’d make a little PSA post to cover my bases; in case you can’t help but be a bit judgemental as you skim my blog in spite of yourself.

Relationship discussions/thoughts and such below~

I’m Tim. As far as I know, this was the first iZombie roleplay blog on tumblr. I created it March 25, 2015. The show premiered March 17th.

I don’t say this to humblebrag, bc honestly, who tf cares?

I just say this to provide some context. I’ve been here since day one, writing Blaine.

I was here during the literal year long hiatus between the end of S2 and the start of S3.

During that time I wrote Blaine’s amnesia as being a legitimate and lasting affliction. In many ways, he became almost a divergent character who was Blaine in face and name only.

He developed relationships with some characters (whose writers may or may not still be around) such as Peyton and Liv that don’t exactly reflect that in canon. So if you see something you kinda sideye, that’s probably why. Context matters. There’s backstory to certain verses that explain how and why.

THAT SAID! Though I have no problem writing canon divergent Blaine (or verses that skew off from points in canon I don’t care for) I’m also cool with/enjoy writing Blaine at any point in the timeline. S1 Zombie Blaine at his most despicable. S2 human Blaine. Amnesiac Blaine. Blaine faking his amnesia. Blaine with aforementioned permanent amnesia. Mid S3-S4 Blaine. A Blaine who is working with Major and Fillmore-Graves.

ALL THE BLAINES~ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

At the end of the day, I ship Blaine and chemistry. And just because he’s attracted to your character doesn’t mean he’ll actually catch feelings for them. In regards to canon Blaine, I refer to David’s comments and Rob Thomas’. His feelings for Peyton were real, and made him wish he had not done such despicable things in life.

Which is to say, yes, he had/may have regrets, but due to selfish reasons and not so much remorse.

Keep in mind, I’ll try to be respectful off all ships, and will refrain from publicly turning up my nose at any of yours. All I ask is that you do the same. I won’t force any ships on anyone, and I’m totally down for platonic and antagonistic relationships.

Here’s a guide tho, if it helps, to my thoughts on Blaine’s relationships as it would stand with a canon Blaine.

Thoughts on Blaine’s relationships:

-Peyton, while certainly recognizing the problematic elements. I was on board and then they pulled the rug out from under me. I have an explanation, from Blaine’s POV for why he lied, but in no way do I excuse it nor is it a justification. I won’t force this ship on anyone, I’m fine with it being platonic or antagonistic. If you want to write it, but only at certain points in time or canon divergent ones where he didn’t lie or whatever... that’s cool. Just let me know, because while I enjoy it, I know some people may be squicked out by it.

-Rita. No, they never met. No, she shouldn’t have died. Yes, I’m bitter. They didn’t meet in canon, but I can see canon Blaine being with her. As an annoyance/partner/eventual friend and possibly more. So I’m mentioning her. Mainly to promote @fairisfair, who writes her and is pretty much my exclusive Rita not that I really expect any others to pop up.

-Liv. Look. I know. In canon this is a special hell ship that would probably never ever ever happen.... but..... he enjoys her. As meddlesome as she’s been, I don’t think Blaine hates her. I think during his amnesia stint, he enjoyed and appreciated her friendship. In another world where he never killed anyone, and she didn’t see him with Boss’ goons? Who knows? Or again, developed after the amnesia and carefully done. IDK. That said I’m totally down for petty and antagonistic frienemy bickering.

-Ravi. Ravi irritates Blaine mainly due to the whole Peyton thing, but Blaine does respect and understand Peyton’s choice even if it bums him out. Ravi can be a bit nerdy and annoy Blaine, but I think Blaine has a tiiiny bit of respect for him whether or not he’d admit it. Ravi’s a good person and loyal to his friends and he respects that. Plus, his big brain. It’s also fun to rile him up.

-Major: Blaine and Major’s dynamic is so...??? Unusual? To go from trying to kill each other to unwilling alliance to Blaine being the reason Major found Natalie and Major understanding and not resenting Blaine for not wanting to remember and then now their partnership... like...we never got Major getting in Blaine’s face after it came out Blaine lied. Blaine was willing to let Major die, after Major basically was willing to be bygones and tease him about being a lounge singer. I like Maine. Not romantic Maine, but I find their relationship fascinating.

-Don E. Look, I can’t help but think maybe Don E. felt a little spurned by Blaine in addition to taken for granted... and that one sided feelings may have played a part in that. I mean he stood in the rain watching Blaine and noting Peyton, while Blaine sang about loving someone even though it hurts because they don’t love you back. But look. Blaine doesn’t treat Don E. like a lackey anymore. When those two goons in 1x04 tried to make their own brain business? Blaine killed them. When Don E. did it? ...not only do I think Blaine was impressed, but Don E. was all he had left. He was willing to forgive him stealing his clients and unfreezing Angus, and made him a partner, and appreciates him. Don E. is his only real and best friend. For all the wronging each other that went on towards the end of S2 and beginning of S3, when Angus died and Don E was there and comforting him yet saying what needed to be said? Feelings. Kissing him on the head, calling him dweeb, taking his face in his hands.

Risking his own life to save his, which had only been done before in the case of Peyton...

Blaine cares about Don E., and you can fight me on that.

Chase: Ok, this is where the bitterness starts. I would have loved a S4 of Blaine and Chase antagonistic over the fact that Blaine killed his brother but Chase can’t kill him because of the brain shortage. We saw Chase blackmail Blaine, but we never got to see Blaine call his bluff and remind him that he had him by the short n curlies as well. Be smug and lord the fact that Chase needs him now after turning down his earlier proposal, saying he had enough brains. I wanted to see them actually working well together, and coming to respect each other somehow despite hating what each stands for... culminating in a showdown.

We didn’t get that. Chase was just fine to let Blaine be after he found Mama Leone, and Harrison Graves is never mentioned, and they never have a scene again.

Angus: Ok Fuck Angus. Before we knew what a garbage human being the actor who played him is, I was mildly excited but the choice to make him a religious cult leader and the execution coupled with the fact he didn’t end up the big bad and it was just all a bunch of filler that made me have to look at that fuckface’s face?? ... not worth it imo. He should have been left to rot in the well, and in a world where he was played by someone else it would have been nice to see him take control by using Enzo to reach out to those in Fillmore Graves who were loyal to Carey Gold’s cause and staging a SHIELD/HYDRA esque coup. But that is another thread that they didn’t continue.

So alas.but in verses/threads that have to acknowledge him, the alternate faceclaim will be Robert Carlyle.

I’d include Blaine’s relationship with Clive but they’ve only had like four scenes together which go from Clive questioning Blaine/wanting to put Blaine away/questioning Blaine again/willing to let Blaine and Don E help on an investigation/questioning Blaine again....

[confessionsbritishroyals]

Meghan-Kate Dislike Master Post

Okay guys. I am getting bored of making the same confessions in the Meghan vs. Kate debate. Here is a big post of the remaining Meghan vs Kate confessions because if I am bored making them I know y’all are bored reading them. I will reopen the ask box, but let’s be more creative and positive in our confessions please!

“I know this is going to be rude, but, when I was looking at all the pictures and reading articles about Meghan these days, I realized that she is becoming like Harry's pet. Not hating or anything, just an out of the blue thought. It's just an observation that dawned on me. She's Harry's pet that he loves to show off -- that he likes that the attention goes to her and not to him instead. I don't know if the implication is good or bad. What do you think?”        

 “The I-only-care-about-Meghan-and-don't-give-a-shit-about-Harry type stans on twitter and here are annoying AF. Like lbr most of you wouldn't even have known she existed if he hadn't married her lol (unless you watched Suits but I know for a fact most of you didn't). Oh and don't even give me the "Harry doesn't define her; she was an actress, humanitarian" shit because did y'all know her before Harry? No, I don't think so. Buh-bye.”  

“The Meghan stans are literally running everyone off twitter, ugh. I don't know what James Whatling said, but I noticed he deactivated and it's sad because he was one of the good ones!! Like, you say ONE wrong thing (because none of you have ever made a mistake or said anything wrong, right?) the stans all attack you at once. Royal twitter has become so toxic. God help us.   Ps. I hope all this nonsense calms down but I won't be holding breath”  

“Meg fans need to stop making EVERY criticism of Meghan to be racism . For example, when people say that Meghan shouldn’t just put her hair in a messy bun for engagements, they aren’t say that her hair isn’t “white” enough, it just means that she should style it so it doesn’t look like a mess she threw together last minute. Hell, I would love to see her rock some of her natural curls! Some people are racist and we should defend Meghan but criticism does not equal racism!!”

“ People love bashing Meghan bc she is everything they won’t be and does it better than they could.”

“ "Hitting the ground running" is the funniest thing she ever said. Meghan is lazy plain and simple, and the past days/zero engagments in the future proves it. Her fans can make all the excuses they want, reality doesn't lie.”

“The fact that everyone in the royal house hold (mainly staff) is turning against Meghan is hilarious! Serves her right for being a bitch!!”       

“Contrary to the popular belief of Meghan fans there are in fact many black women that do NOT like Meghan... because we don’t just automatically side with or stan a person just because they’re black”  

“Meghan: *blinks* Everyone: oMG sHes sO emBARrasInG  She could literally wave at a crowd and people will say she’s shouldn’t act like a celebrity, she could sit down and be quiet and people will say she doesn’t do anything and needs to do more, she could literally smile and people would somehow find a way to hate on her for that. You all need to get off the internet and just chill, never seen people so bothered by one person before.” 

“ Funny how every complaint about meg is about her behavior and character, but every shot at kate is just calling her old ugly and lazy. Why so superficial sugars?”           

“ Contrary to the popular belief of Meghan fans there are in fact many black women that do NOT like Meghan... because we don’t just automatically side with or stan a person just because they’re black”

“ I just don't understand some of the so-called feminists in this fandom. They defend Meghan because that's what women do to defend other women, okay good, but they fail to do the same to Kate and, instead, revel in comments about her like, "better than a princess who only lives a life of breeding and blow-drying." That statement is clearly not feminism.”    

“ Meghan isn’t a social climber she’s a rat up a drainpipe!”

“ Royals are suppose to use the attention they get to bring attention to the charity they are visiting. Like a ray of light bouncing off them and onto the charity/issue. The problem with mags constant bump cradling is that it keeps on the attention on her and doesn’t allow for the reflection to happen. It over shadows her entire purpose as a royal. It not about you, you there to make the charity/issue shine ”

“Omg guys were sooo BITTER towards little megs!!! Why are we so BITTER?! Ffs because we have opinions we're trolls 😂 poor little megs, not everyone has to like it, shit I meant her”

Actually...this is getting too long. I will just post each ask instead of make a confession

[comradecowplant]

WELL it was an easy read and I finished the book already. I gotta do a classic Dani Vents About a Story post that will include significant spoilers, so be careful if you are reading/want to read The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargraves. I’m about to bitch about it a lot, but overall it was an interesting book that I’d still (mostly) recommend if you have an interest in historical fiction surrounding the Norwegian witch trials.

Most of it was really good, although a few theme threads and character arcs completely fell apart in the final act. I knew it was going to be dark-- again, 17th century witch trial shit-- but the actual “murder my favorite characters” bit thankfully didn’t begin until pretty late in the story, which lets the focus remain more on the lives of the women vs their horrific deaths. The author does a (mostly) great job at creating interesting characters you fall in love with, and succeeded immensely at bringing the landscape and village of Vardo to life.

BUT 

IN THE LAST LITERAL FOUR PAGES, THE NARRATIVE TOOK ALL THE MEANING THAT THE PROTAGANISTS HAD CREATED OUT OF THEIR HARDSHIPS AND THREW IT OVER A CLIFF (LITERALLY! & EACH USE OF THIS WORD HERE HAS BEEN THE PROPER USE. although i guess a fictional event cannot be truly ‘literal’ BUT WHATEVER I AM NOT GETTING LOST IN THE WEEDS WITH PEDANTICS). I am so fucking mad, and it serves as a reminder to why I typically don’t read/watch many period pieces these days, unless it is a period setting in a fantasy/sci fi world. So many people think that in order to bE rEaLiStIc when writing about periods in history, you simply MUST be as grimdark as possible, especially with conclusions, but I find that perspective boring and uncreative as hell. Bitch it’s already fiction! it’s already lies! you are god in the universe you write, have some courage and don’t concede to established tropes that center on garish suffering to define the experiences of historically (& contemporaneously) marginalized people! At least in a medieval-set fantasy story, you get the vibes of the historical setting, but also your friends can swoop by on a dragon and rescue the innocent pants-wearing fisherwoman who is about to be burned alive by the racist woman-hating church.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a story with a messy & unhappy ending. I even love an occasional grimdark story! But as I get older, I see & feel more the evils which inspired these historical events and how they still burden our world today, and I do not enjoy spending my free time reading/watching movies that are centered on suffering for suffering’s sake-- if I want a story about senseless violence & the underdogs who never win, I will just turn on the fucking news. SO, for me, the dark stories I do enjoy cannot just be traumaporn in a difference shell, the darkness has. to. make. sense. You can’t spend 300 pages on a woman overcoming her grief of losing her brother/father/fiancé/half her village & learning how to be a #StrongIndependantWoman, then have her just kill herself on the last page. It just isn’t narratively good, it just isn’t! And to be clear, the author could have gone WAYYYYYYYY darker in many places throughout the book & did not even come close to going full grimdark. I think overall she greatly succeeded at balancing hope & hopelessness. It was done so well in fact that I was lulled into a false sense of security that maybe just maybe there might be a way out for our ladies, a conclusion that didn’t end with the kind of complete misery that historic fiction tends to skew towards. But there is this overwhelming sense in the final few pages that, probably due to the aforementioned loyalty to perceived “historical accuracy”, she hadn’t included enough suffering (even though there is PLENTY of tragedy to go around by that point) & she didn’t know how to finish the story. So when in doubt, kill 👏 those 👏 gays 👏 (although we don’t know the fate of the other woman, who has entire chapters given from her perspective, but Meren just says bye & we never hear about Ursa again 😤)

Which brings us to, yeah, it did have gay shit like I thought, and up until the garbage of the last four pages, it was a very touching romance. But it too concluded in a way that is only satisfying if you squint, and adds to the inconsistencies that I mentioned above. I’ve never in my life said this before, and it makes me ill to even type this, but, *sob* it probably would have been a better story if the two women had remained platonic friends and no touch-a the booba. I know a lot of people think I’m One of Those cringe queers who will read/watch absolute garbage just if there is a queer person (which tbf I definitely also do sometimes, & it’s actually very valid of me, thank u very much), but if that were true I would have finished that awful Warming Trend book that I blogged about like 2 years go, or read any of the hundreds of stupid “subtext” trash that folks like to recommend, or ship Supercorp (no offense to anyone who ships them, I get it, Katie McGrath is hot, but come on, there is a perfectly good lesbian already on the show), or watched Glee. No, I do actually have some standards--  Are they super high, as a love-starved reader/viewer who uses romantic fiction as a primary means of escapism/coping with my shitty life? No, lmao. But as a writer, and as a queermo, nothing grinds my gears more than a badly executed lgbtq+ storyline.

Anyway, I just finished the book an hour ago so my crankiness & disappointment is raw and thus I am all over the place with this rant. I hope I’m not coming off as being too hard on the author, because despite it’s flaws, I am very glad to have serendipitously found The Mercies, and I look forward to checking out KMH’s other works. It’s been a long time since I’ve dug into a book and read it in just a few sittings like I did this, repeating “just one more chapter” for hours until it’s suddenly 3 am, and despite the fuckery to my sleep schedule it contributes to, the feeling is good-- it brings me back to simpler times when I actually was able to experience an ease from the constant uneasiness I always carry in my chest. Idk, moral of the story is that reading is fun, & when I get stuck in my Bad Turns & don’t read for months, it becomes easy to forget how much solace can come from a mid-quality but seductive (not in a horny way. but sometimes also in a horny way, lol) novel. Like, most of my reading these days is miserable 20th century theory or other academic/non-fiction writing related to our depressing capitalist hellscape & impending climate disaster, and The Mercies helped me remember that my roots lie in fiction. It also has me inspired to revisit a couple of historical fictions projects I have laying around, aND MAKE A WOMAN-EMPOWERMENT, ANTI-RACIST, QUEER AS HELL PERIOD FICTION PEICE THAT DOES NOT END IN COMPLETE GARBAGE! And in the meantime, I shall be revisiting the works of Sarah Waters, the only bad bitch I know of who writes queer historical fiction without relinquishing her characters solely to the suffering they experience ✌ 

If anyone has read this far and has any books/authors to recommend (wlw focused preferably, historical fiction or any genre as long as the story itself doesn’t rely on the tropes I touched on, recently published also preferably bc I have a long list of older books/authors but i don’t keep up with new releases like I should, & a lot of the ones I know are white & cis so PLEASE send reccs for more diverse stories/authors if you have them) 

[mayamatiln]

can u please talk about your love for Johnny DiMarco? gush about it bc me too

sorry it took me so long to answer this. I’ve tried to come up with a coherent way to describe my love for him but I’m not sure this will do it justice but I’ll try. 

Long story short: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. Not only that but it was subtle character development shown through his interactions as a supporting character. It’s what skyrocketed him to becoming my favorite character because if you didn’t watch him closely you would never pick up on how much he was changing with every new episode he was in. Let me analyze a bit:

Season 6 - He is introduced as just another bully from Lakehurst and honestly I didn’t really notice him until Rock This Town when he was there and watched Drake stab JT. Obviously my initial reaction was to hate both of them so much, just like the other characters on the show did. Especially after he watched it happen then immediately ran away. BUT after watching the episode for the billionth time a crazy thought popped into my head: “Imagine what Johnny is going through in his head.” I mean it was clear by the look on his face that what Drake did was completely not okay with him and he was clearly traumatized by watching it. I realized that he ran away (which was the wrong thing to do) because he panicked and got scared like any 16/17 year old kid would. The show completely skipped over the fact that he was probably heavily interrogated by the cops for possibly being an accessory to murder but I was immediately intrigued by what is possibly going on in this boys head.

Season 7 - When first see Johnny this season he is up to his old bullying ways and in my head I was like “really this kid goes through watching a guy he was bullying die and he just keeps on picking on people like it didnt affect him at all?” But then we get that scene where Toby confronts Johnny about how he watched Drake kill JT and you can clearly see Johnny deflecting and trying to shut it out and forget that it ever happened. To me it was so clear that Johnny was going through some really dark things and the only way he knew how to cope with it was by doing what he usually does and taking it out on other people. He keeps doing this until we get to Bust A Move where we see that Johnny is attending the Red Pines camp along with Darcy. If you weren’t really looking for it you would completely miss him being there but at the beginning of one scene we hear him talking to the group about exactly what I had suspected that he had been going through. He talks about how since JT died he has sorta been off the rails and he keeps asking himself why does he have to be such a jerk. This moment confirmed to me what a complex and layered and extremely human character Johnny was even though he was only a background character. It was the pivotal moment that cemented him as one of my favorite characters. 

Season 8 - These were the seasons where we finally began to chip away at the tough guy exterior and see the real Johnny that he was hiding underneath all because of Alli. Although we only ever saw that relationship from her point of view as a way to tell the stereotypical “young girl gets with older guy and realizes she isn’t as mature as she thinks plot” it was still very clear that the relationship meant a lot to the both of them which wasn’t stereotypical at all. From Alli’s point of view we see her chasing after him but it’s also made very clear that he really does like her just as much (if not more) than she liked him but he was initially too much of a coward to admit it. What was so important about this relationship though is that Alli was the first person, other than Bruce (which doesn’t count), who ever sought him out and genuinely liked him and wanted to get to know him. She was never afraid of him like everyone else was and she was persistent which is exactly what he needed. Like he says in Heart of Glass, she wasn’t just some hook up for him, he genuinely liked her as a person because she took the time to pay attention to him and notice that he is actually kind of a nerd. He likes books and literature and he cares about making sure she gets home on time and buys her a flower when he hopes that she never finds out that he’s the one who sent it and he buys her a heartshaped necklace because he’s never been in a relationship before and he doesnt know what he’s doing. She brought him out of his shell and taught him that he is so much more than a bully and that people outside of his small friend group can genuinely like him. I also want to note how when he lies about her being his first time too, like yes it was bad to lie, but from his point of view he finally found someone who genuinely likes him for who he is and he is terrified of hurting her and her leaving him. Yet again we see Johnny making a big mistake but still it is understandable and realistic because he is in fact a teenage boy.

Season 9 - We start off the season with Johnny making possibly one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made (well at least to me). Him sending Alli’s nudes to Bruce because he was mad that she posted a silly picture of him being HIMSELF was so childish and immature and disgusting. That being said it was completely in character and necessary for his character to hit this low point when things were finally looking up for him. When thing’s don’t go Johnny���s way he has always been known to act out cruelly to those around him and sink deeper into his tight friendship with Bruce who he knows would never leave him. He gets upset and reverts into his old habits and thus loses Alli in the process which is probably the biggest reality check he has ever gotten. Then to top it all off he finds out he has genital warts which seals the deal that he has lost the one person who genuinely liked him and cared about him as a person. He initially reacts just like he always has and returns to picking on others as a way to cope. Then as we get to the episode Why Can’t This Be Love we have another turning point. First I must point out that the part 1 of this episode is one of my favorites because it is the only episode where Johnny has an entire plot from his point of view. In it we see him asking Alli to prom because he clearly still has feelings for her and she immediately turns him down. He tried to rebound and fails miserably because when it comes to talking to girls let’s just say he is a total goof who has clearly lost his touch over the past year with Alli. At prom he sees Alli flirting with Dave at prom and he picks on them out of jealousy, by the end of the episode Johnny watches Alli move on with her life and knows that it is over for good. BUT this is the moment that Johnny also decides to turn his life around. From this moment on we never see him bully or threaten anyone else. He took what Alli taught him and he used it to become a better person and really believe in himself. And to top it all off we get a glimpse that he graduated with honors. I’m so proud of my smart boy!!

Season 10 - We only see Johnny in one episode this season but BOY IS IT A GOOD ONE. I remember when the first promo for Hide and Seek Part 1 came out and you have that moment where we see Sav knocking on the door and then Johnny answered. Let me tell you that I completely lost it. I had come to terms that I’d never seen Johnny or another Bhandarco scene again and it was literally the best blessing ever. Anyway, we see Johnny in college and his amazing slowburn character development arc is finally complete. Seeing Johnny with his life together and being happy and involved in school activities is so important. Him giving Alli advice to get through her hardships was such a beautiful parallel to how she helped him get through his whether she knew it or not. And to top it all off he ended his journey by bringing it all back to the beginning and talking about JT. He mentioned his relationship with his parents and how much of a hard time he had after he watched his best friend kill the completely innocent and harmless JT. Seeing him express how much it truly messed him up was so important especially since he never got the solo plots to tell his side of the story. I still cry when I watch that episode just because I am so proud of the man he has become. Seeing him in this episode also taught that when you go to college you have a change to completely reinvent yourself and let go of any reputations that may proceed you. Also it was a neat way to show that even the terrible people you may have once hated can change for the better and that not everyone’s redemption arc reaches it’s peak once they graduate high school because realistically their lives are just beginning.

Johnny DiMarco managed to witness a trauma just as mind altering as Emma, Toby, and Sean did after Time Stands Still. The only difference is that Johnny never got to have his trauma told from his point of view. He is so underrated because yes on the surface he has done horrible things but in context all of it is completely reasonable and realistic based on the things he has been though. Not only that but he never had one single life changing moment where he realized “yeah I’m over my trauma now I can stop acting this way” much like many characters do when they deal with their trauma during the plot of a single episode. All of Johnny’s recovery was a slow burn over the seasons. With each season he grew more and more mature and he managed to do it all with only ONE plot that centered around him, which was basically a filler plot and nothing really happened. I get hurt when people hate on Johnny because it shows that they really haven’t been paying enough attention to him at all and they aren’t thinking and watching the show knowing that all of the characters are human and incredibly realistic. But unlike many other characters, Johnny never got the proper screen time. 

I like to think that after college Johnny became an English teacher. The cool and rough around the edges kind of English teacher that literally changes the lives of all the kids he teaches. Not only is he passionate about literature, he has the life experience to deal with troubled kids and would easily be able to relate to them and help them through life. Maybe someday he reunites with Alli. Unlike the last time they saw each other they are now both mature and a lot more down to earth. But regardless, I’m so beyond pleased with how Johnny was last seen on the show. They brought his character to an excellent close and did as much justice to him as they could. So all of this is why I love Johnny DiMarco and he is my favorite character that Degrassi has ever had. He had such an underrated and under utilized arc but still he managed to steal my heart. 

[drinkospp]

all the odds from 100-199 for the ask meme :D :D :D :D (i'm so sorry haha)

here u go hunts :-) 

(answer under the cut since this post is so long)

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? I don’t really get along with one over the other, it all depends on personality! though for most of my life I’ve generally had more girl friends than guy friends, but its really just circumstantial103: Sexual orientation? I’m bisexual in that I would have flings with guys, but I can really only see myself having serious relationships with girls so I’m pretty gay105: Last person I texted? the last person I texted was Matt @theslightlyburnedtoast and the last person I messaged is Hunter @ostrichrider107: Guilty pleasure? disney music, I’m a goddamn menace109: A photo of myself. heres me with Too Many Glasses and me getting chucked in the pool by some friends

111: Favourite game app? Alto or Monument Valley :-) they’re so relaxing113: Favourite accents? Korean bc of my wonderful friend Jin115: Favourite number? 4 or 22117: Am I religious? Not really, but I like learning about religion and I like to imagine that there’s something out there looking out for me119: Do I like the deep ocean? Yes! I’m OWD certified and I love to scuba dive with my family. it’s a little scary at first but I always forget my worry after a few minutes or so, and then an hour passes without even noticing121: Am I allergic to anything? I’m technically allergic to Prozac, but that’s it123: Can I wiggle my ears? nope125: The Beatles or Elvis? probably the beatles?127: Am I a bad loser? I used to be a bad loser because I always felt like losing was a personal shortcoming and that it meant I sucked, so it was always discouraging and I would beat myself up about it. I still struggle with that at times. But I was never a bad loser in that I’d get mad at people or anything like that, I’d just be upset with myself129: Forest or beach? pls don’t make me choose…………….I guess forest though, bc I love the beach but every now and then I need to get out of the sun or I’ll feel like trash. plus I have really sensitive feet and hot sand RUINS me131: Am I a good liar? I guess so. I can say things convincingly enough that people believe me, but I never try to keep up a lie. Usually I’ll just say something dumb like “did you know that I’m actually a natural blonde” and then when someone says “really?” I say no and thats it133: Do I talk to myself? ALL the time constantly, I’m not a big fan of complete silence.135: Do I like gossip? I like being in the loop, if that counts as gossip. As long as it doesn’t hurt anybody or if it’s not supposed to be a secret then yes137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? Not that I can remember139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? definitely try to return it to it’s owner, I’ve been in a situation where I lost my wallet before and I know how horrible it can be. I wouldn’t want that to happen to anybody141: Have I ever been underweight? I was pretty underweight in high school for a while, but mostly because I was growing. Now I’m in the healthy BMI range143: Have I ever been in a submarine? only in a museum145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? Hoo boy this one will be LONG (I’m even leaving family off bc they’ll never see this so it’s not relevant)

Me - Grace Rolek (even though she does mostly voice acting I think she matches my style/behavior pretty well)

Shelby - Eve Hewson

Lydia - Melissa Benoist ??

Ethan - Nolan Gould

Ollie - Taraji Henson

Isaac - John Mulaney (listen its perfect)

Bren - young and short-haired Tatyana Ali

Grace - Madeline Zima

Hunter - Will Poulter with glasses + lighter hair

David - Matt Bennett

Eli - Eddie Redmayne. There’s no debating this.

Chloe - Natalia Dyer (Nancy from Stranger Things). I saved this one for last because its literally the best Chloe looks exactly like her147: Do I have any piercings? nope, not even my ears149: Do I have any tattoos? no151: Do I believe in Karma? sure153: What was my first car? It’s still the car I use, it’s a 2001 e320 mercedes benz155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? my dad :-)157: What makes me nostalgic? Disney music, driving to Paris IL, marching band music159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? porque no los dos161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? nah163: What do I love most about myself? my eyes ig165: Do I believe in fate? nah167: Have I ever been on radio? yes, once when I was still in middle school because the show hosts didn’t know anything about Harry Potter and I called in to correct them on the stuff they got wrong lmao169: How old am I? 19171: Do I hold grudges? nope, I’m very quick to forgive173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? maybe not all of them right away, but I’m working on it. Definitely yes on the bigger ones though175: Do I dream? all the time177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? yeah I remember a lot of them. the first one that comes to mind is this one where I was a character in a gameboy style game like legend of zelda or pokemon or something, and I attacked a monster (bc thats what you do in video games) but instead of starting a fight it launched a conversation instead and the monster turned out to be a deer and he said something like “OW hey watch what you’re doing, what was that for??” and I said “oh sorry I thought I was supposed to fight you” and he said “well geez, its fine just don’t do it again I guess.” and then he said “look out, the 90′s are coming” and my alarm clock rang and I woke up179: If I were immortal, what would I do? probably just whatever makes me happy. If I have forever to figure things out I may as well just take things slow181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Drain the bank accounts of every KKK member and nazi and deposit the funds into my account183: What is my spirit animal? mule - nothing too special or flashy, but reliable, tough, and patient. Can be smart and likes to have fun :-)185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Buying and selling stocks187: What is my greatest achievement? being loved by my wonderful friends :-)189: Love or career? love? logically I should say career but my dumb ass probably wouldn’t191: What makes me the happiest? MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS193: What motivates me? see previous answer195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? Sure, if they’re peaceful197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? I used to hate salad but now I love it199: Live in the city or suburbs? suburbs I guess

[bipeoplearentyourpawns]

ok not to start PLL Discourse™ or anything but: who's your favourite liar? favourite -A? and more importantly - are you also anti t*by/sp*by as well as anti ez*ia? I rly hope so lmao but regardless, have a good day/night, ur one of my fave discourse blogs!! ✌️

putting this under a read more bc it got really really long. PLL spoilers below the cut. 

i’m actually going to respond to this is kind of as two people: me the first time i watched PLL (starting the summer after 5th grade) and me rewatching it now as the network does that countdown thing (which i’m way behind on rip)

okay so the first time i watched it, i liked the liars (excluding alison bc i don’t consider her a liar) in the order of 1. hanna and spencer, 2. aria, 3. emily

now, i’m like 1. emily and spencer and hanna, 2. aria

idk why i just find aria very unlikable and kind of boring? maybe it’s some of my hatred for ezra overflowing into hatred for her (which i hope isn’t the case) but it’s so so hard for me to like her and hate her and ezra bc that’s like… her entire character arc. book aria is way better, which is surprising bc for the most part i like the show’s characters more than the books’.

emily is just so good and i’d die for her… the writers really did her dirty what with maya and lyndon and her parents and such and i want to protect her

hanna had a really good character arc when she had to protect her mom (which happened a few times) and like… name one bad thing she did ever i’ll wait…

and spencer is so… hardworking and determined. like so many times we’ve seen her fall apart (for good reason) and claw her way back out of sheer determination. she’s unbelievably strong and i have a lot of respect for her. 

favorite A… i’m gonna have to go with mona? like what a boring answer but i think her character is so interesting even post-A and i honestly can’t really figure out if i like her or not which is always something i look for in a character. 

thoughts on toby. this is a hard one. 

so first-watch me loved toby and spoby. i would blame that on my being younger and Less Wise or whatever but i actually didn’t stop loving them until i rewatched season three, which was very recently? everything was fine until spencer’s downward spiral after she found out he was A (bc i love seasons 1&2 toby) and he just… let her fall apart like that? the real turning point for me was when spencer got locked in the steam room and almost died and i had this flashback to a post i saw years ago that was like “toby had to have done that bc mona was out of town which means that he did it because he was jealous of her and wren how cute” and i was like… that’s not cute that’s abusive!! he let spencer believe their entire relationship was a lie and that he was genuinely evil and then got mad at her for kissing someone else??? i don’t THINK so!! 

and he said he did it to protect her but at some point her mental health had to come into play. she was honest to god ready to kill herself for months and he let her believe that. there’s no way it would have killed him to find some way to slip her a “i’m not actually A, all will be explained soon, i love you”-type message, even in code or smthing. that would have been a great episode: spencer gets a message from A that’s written weirdly and has to figure out what it means. it could have been one of those codes where some words are misspelled and the letters put into or taken out of those words spell out the real message and i would have been willing to ignore the fact that there’s no way mona wouldn’t have figured that out if it meant that spencer was okay. 

it felt very out-of-character, knowing everything that we know about toby, that he would let spencer believe all of that- including that he was fucking dead, which just about killed her- and it was very out of character for spencer to just… forgive him? i would understand if literally any other character on the show forgave their loved one for doing that but i never understood it for spencer. she said “how could you let me believe that you were dead” and that was the end of it. that’s not spencer. she should have made him fucking grovel to win her back and then i might have been a little less not okay with all of this. but i guess because she thought he was dead it made sense to her to let him just come back into her life. 

and i’m going to use this as an opportunity to talk about hanna and caleb, bc if there’s one hetero ship i care about it’s them: caleb would never pull that shit. i love him and he would never pull that shit because it would kill him to see hanna hurt like that (like i’m fairly convinced it would physically kill him) and that’s because he loves her and when you love someone who don’t let them hurt like that. even when spencer and hanna had to protect toby and caleb (respectively), they did it in logical and reasonable ways that didn’t involve making them believe they were dead.