#bc she’s always been told she’s nobody / nothing / meaningless

[raehs]

rey nobody is okay in theory, esp when not taking it too literally. but i’ve always seen it as somewhat of a negative thing, or an insult. rey has always been a somebody. just because her parents weren’t as well known as the skywalkers or someone similar doesn’t mean they’re nobody. they’re important people and have always been somebodies, even without the added lore and even if they’re related to obi-wan or satine. and in star wars, everyone is important and can have an impact on the galaxy (as shown in r1 which was a movie about “nobodies”).

noun: nobody;

a person of no importance or authority.

[considergoldenkamuy]

i have come to beg for a zombieman/high school girl bc age gap struggles give me life

i hate to admit i’ve had an idea swimming around for a while lmao also i’ll replace this gif w a proper image later

“Nothing about this is okay,” Zombieman murmured. He was dangerously close to the girl, the rain cascading down just beyond the awning as her hands brushed over his knuckles before loosely intertwining their fingers.

”But you want this too, don’t you?”

He opened his mouth to refuse, to correct her and tell her she was wrong, but nothing came out. Zombieman was at a loss for words, voice almost stolen by how hard those words hit him. Her eyes glinted with what seemed like sadness, something that pained him to see.

When she leaned up on her toes to kiss him gently, a chaste kiss that did not linger, she did not look surprised when he didn’t react. Just a little disappointed.

”I guess not.”

It hit him harder this time, but this one was lower, tighter - right in his chest. No. He wanted this. He wanted it more than he’d ever known. He wanted her with everything he had, but it felt so wrong at the same time. She was at least seven years younger than him, and yet he found himself in love. He knew this whole thing was so wrong, but it felt even worse that she accepted his self-denial so easily. She pulled away much too soon, his hands almost grabbing onto hers again out of desperation alone, but he felt rooted in place, unable to move or react. Everything felt slow, much too slow, and yet it was all happening much too fast. Everything was slipping through his fingers, and he was letting it happen.

”Sorry for being a bother.”

Her smile was bittersweet, with good will but failing to betray the heartbreak wracking her body. He didn’t follow the girl as she left him alone, wishing for him to but knowing he wouldn’t chase after her.

-

When she woke up, she wasn’t startled by the absence of the man in her apartment. A dull ache ate at her chest as she woke up slowly, pulling on her uniform. She didn’t eat that morning, she simply packed her things and fit for school. She was too caught up in her thoughts to see Zombieman in the train station, not far from her. Her eyes were a little red and puffy, but mostly unnoticeable. But of course he noticed. He was he cause of it, after all.

The male wanted to place a hand on her shoulder or ruffle her hair like he always did, but something was stopping him. Whether it was shame, anxiety, or some mixture of both, he didn’t know. All he did know was that he wanted to grasp her shoulders and tell her that she was wrong, and that he was just so confused about his emotions and where to place them. And yet he did nothing.

The next train came into the station, and he was the only one on the platform after it left.

-

She hadn’t seen him for several days, and as sad as she was, she was genuinely worried. She has told her best friend about her current issue, and the other girl encouraged her to talk to him again, telling her that he obviously reciprocated her feelings. And so, she called him.

His phone rang, and he glanced at the screen.

It was her name.

Zombieman gazed at it for a moment, before rolling over on his bed, away from it, feeling a sense of dread and guilt wash over him as the ringing came to a halt.

There was no voice mail.

-

She screamed, feeling the sharp metal pierce through her hand, nailing her to the wall. There was a panicked cry of her name as Bad sprinted over to her. “Don’t you fucking dare die on me!”

”Ba…d…” She wheezed, choking on her own blood as it leaked from her lips. Some of her vital organs had been severely damaged, barely a sound of pain leaving her when he ripped those metal spikes out of her arms. The teen took her into his arms, mind running in all directions.

“METAL BAT, GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL!”

Child Emperor’s voice cut into his thoughts, but he nodded nonetheless, not caring for his pride or sense of superiority when one of the most treasured people in his life was dying. Bad ran, he ran as fast as he could, and burst into the street, praying to any and every power that she wouldn’t die on him.

”SOMEONE CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE!”

He didn’t know he was crying until he heard his voice, a desperate shout of fear. He didn’t see Zombieman standing there, frozen, eyes blown wide at the sight of the girl, bloodied and broken. She was barely breathing when her dull eyes met his.

He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or horrified at the very subtle and gentle smile that crossed her lips.

-

Zombieman made sure that no one would be able to see or hear him as he let tears slip down his cheeks, watching her unconscious face as he monitor recorded her heartbeat, praying to God that it wouldn’t fall flat. She was in critical condition, having received many injuries that would have killed the average person, and having undergone several surgeries. The girl cried in her sleep, little shimmering droplets trailing down her skin. She trembled subtly, but it wasn’t because of the physical strain, it was due to the trauma she had just experienced.

And he hadn’t been there to save her from all this suffering.

“She’s been working hard.”

He froze, hearing a somewhat familiar voice. It was the girl’s best friend. Zombieman felt no reason to hide his tears from her, merely peering at her over his shoulder, silently demanding her to continue.

”She was really sad the next day, but nobody noticed. She’s really good at hiding her feelings when she really wants to. But she was suffering. She took the mission in hopes she could distract herself. This is the result.”

He didn’t dare break the eye contact, knowing the guilt and misery was within his own. A moment passed before the girl next to him, gazing at her friend.

”Please talk to her when she wakes up. She’s been blaming herself incessantly. I can’t stand seeing her like that.”

Blaming herself? Why would she do that if it was his fault for rejecting her? But he nodded once nonetheless. He really needed to do that anyways.

-

”Hi, Zokkun.” Her smile was tired, so tired, as she stood there in the doorway with one of those plastic smiles she put on to try and reassure the people around her. “I…didn’t think you would be here.”

”We need to talk.”

The teen faltered for a moment, almost looking afraid, before sighing and sitting down next to him on the couch, turning toward him.

”What is it?”

With no warning, he tilted her chin upward, his lips meeting hers. Her eyes widened before her fingers cradled his face, letting him take the reigns as he slipped his tongue into her mouth. Zombieman tasted like cigarettes and coffee, but she didn’t mind it much, one of her hands trailing down to his shirt and gripping it. In return, his free arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer, kissing deeper. They had to part for proper breath eventually, but when they did, her fingers raked through his hair as his thumb traced meaningless shapes on her hip.

“I love you.”

The words felt so natural, said softly and under his breath, red eyes boring into hers as she took a moment to let it sink in before she smiled brightly. He rolled his eyes before kissing her again. Her smile was replaced by a shy blush when he brushed his knuckles over her cheek.

It felt wrong, but he could learn to make it feel right.

[leovand]

ARIZONA U is proud to introduce you to LEONARDO “LEO” VAN DOREN , the twenty-five year old, undergraduate fine arts major in his SENIOR year. most of their peers deem them as someone who is +eccentric , +intelligent & +self-sufficient but i know that some of their professors think they’re more -self-righteous, -precipitous & -self-destructive, maybe that’s why the police are still interviewing them on the reopened cold case. maybe it was because they were also A BAD INFLUENCE for NATALIA LINDERMAN. i mean that is just a little suspicious, but i only really think of scuffed black combat boots, a car that always smells like weed, and meaningless tattoos when i hear their name, not murder. but i could be wrong. — MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL.

boo bitch i’m gin, bout to head out to work but tbh i’ll be around to chat n plot bc whew it’s boring there !!!! anyway down below you’ll find a terrible bio + some wcs so come hmu and we’ll plot some angst or give this a like and i’ll slide in ur dms woo ah

also a tl;dr is right before the wcs and above that is a brief description of his connection to natalia

trigger warnings for drug use/abuse, addiction, and infidelity

background info

leo was born in london to two very wealthy parents, richard and cynthia van doren. richard was something of an inattentive father (particularly when it came to leo) and from early on beginning to distance himself from the family, and while cynthia certainly loved leo, she’d always wanted a daughter, which she got two years later when his little sister victoria ( @toriivd​ ) was born. thus, it was from an extremely young age that leo began to feel like something of a black sheep in the family. richard was, unbeknownst to any of them, already having an affair with a woman in america whom he’d met on several business trips to arizona. all they knew was that he hardly seemed invested in their family anymore, let alone to take an interest in their lives. of course, victoria was a daddy’s girl, and though she often pretended not to see this happening leo knew perfectly well she was lying deliberately to herself. it was something he only pulled out when they fought bitterly, and they both knew it was a low blow when he did. 

this was especially apparent in high school, when leo’s acting out turned to drug use, skipping school, and even trouble with the police a few times. richard was almost never there either to lend fatherly support or to discipline--the only time he was, leo got the tongue-lashing of his life as well as a slap in the face, and if he had to pick a specific event which led him to the realization that he hated his father, it would be that one. 

even as things were looking rockier and rockier with their parents, leo was 12 when his mom got pregnant again. 13 when she had their baby brother, bradley. it was frankly a mess and for the first couple years leo was not at all good about helping. he resented the further attention drawn away from himself and hated his dad more than ever for his seemingly endless supply of bullshit

when he was 15, tori 13, and bradley 2, their parents finally got divorced. he and tori listened in on the final, blow-out fight from the stairs and learned that the reason their father had been taking so many business trips to the states all these years was in fact another woman, and even better, the two kids he had with her. tori had processed this in her own way, and leo had tried to be there for her, but his own self-destructive method of processing it made it difficult to do so. in other ways, however, the whole thing changed the nature of his relationship with his mother, which had always been a little distant. the fact of his father’s betrayal had the effect of inspiring within leo a fierce love and protectiveness over her, and in the rubble of their family the four of them found something much more intimate than they’d had before. 

he graduated high school in spite of all this but spent the following two years doing nothing productive; it was sex drugs rock n roll and rebellion, and through it all giving a huge metaphorical middle finger to his dad, who’d officially moved to arizona to pledge his allegiance to his chosen family. leo and tori eventually came to the morally questionable agreement to tell people that their father had died in a car accident rather than explain the truth, and for leo, it was as much an act of spitting on his father’s memory as it was a tactic to avoid talking about it. 

it was when tori finally graduated high school that they formulated the plan to go to university in arizona, and while they were there to try and find their father. not because leo missed him, of course--it was closure he was after, and only seeing him and his other family would allow him to find it.

a year ago now, leo went back home to england for a month and a half to check himself into rehab, but the only person he told was his mom. it was for an opioid addiction that had gotten out of hand and he did indeed manage to get clean. he’s even managed to stay clean when it comes to the opioids, but he’s started doing coke now and then and dabbling in pills. mostly though it’s just a lot a lot of weed all the time. 

he’s in his senior year of his bfa and has almost no prospects, although that’s mostly due to his screwing them all up by being high and careless about it. a part of him despises the whole idea of school and the work force and having a career and is lowkey self destructing bc he can’t handle the idea of growing up and having to act like an adult

personality

so for the most part, leo is super super chill, doesn’t take anything very seriously, is cracking jokes 24/7 (his sense of humor is so so so dry), almost always high, and if no one stops him will start rambling on about literally anything in his pretentious know it all way that he genuinely doesn’t realize is so wildly pretentious

he’s a fine arts major with a focus in illustration but he also does a lot of sculpting. so he doodles a lot, probably on things he shouldn’t doodle on, and he makes money on the sculptures here and there (which he’s telling himself he can sustain for his entire life lmao)

pansexual, tends to sleep around but genuinely likes being in a relationship. he falls in love rly easily and has little crushes on random people all the time and is prone to infatuations with people who don’t feel the same way. most relationships he’s had have failed bc of his drug problem interfering and/or becoming too much for his partner at the time to deal with

for everything he’s been thru, leo actually has quite an optimistic view of the world and people in general and he just really likes human interaction and being around people. he can come off as wildly eccentric and difficult to keep up with and sometimes makes it seem like he thinks he’s better than everyone and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks but on the highest of keys he cares so much what everyone thinks and will probably admit that out loud tbh ftyegudhsujka

cares about his mom, sister, and little brother more than anything in the world and feels guilty as HELL about not being there while his brother is growing up

will lose his mind if u call him leonardo

connection to natalia linderman //  natalia was the good girl, and that was certainly part of leo’s motivation to corrupt her—there was something thrilling about being able to effect such change in someone held in such high esteem on campus—but that wasn’t all of it. some part of him had developed feelings, too, and it killed him that she never saw him that way. the drugs and the class-skipping to smoke weed made him feel close to her, even when she was talking about other people. he eventually began to feel guilty for what he saw as poisoning her with his way of life, and he’d been working up the nerve to tell her this until she went missing. he now lives with the fear that whatever she got mixed up in that resulted in her death could be blamed on the drugs, and more specifically, him.

tl;dr // comes from a wealthy british family whose father left when he was 15 in favor of his second family in america; weed smoker, class skipper, pretentious art boy acts like he doesn’t give a fuck but actually gives the most fucks and readily admits it; surprisingly soft but will Fight for his mom and sister; spent two months that nobody knows about in rehab last year for an opioid addiction

wanted connections/plot ideas

this will have to be discussed with me n maia but !! a boy who tori was dating six months ago (for however long before that) who seduced leo and then told him he wanted to be w him instead, and then broke up with tori when leo said no and told her he cheated on her but not with whom fytsugeuhkdij so hmu if u wanna fill that and i’ll give u more deets 👀

the two kids!!! from their dad’s second family!!!! PLEASE!!!

randomly someone he was in rehab with showing up in arizona somehow???? more likely than u think !!

a few exes from arizona + any exes from back home in london would be cute

someone with a s/o whom leo is practically in love with who does not feel the same way back p l e a s e ideally they’d be rly close friends too

stoner buds thanks

gimme some of tori’s exes/suitors for leo to fight OR even softer.....to rly like and root for

a bad influence who encourages his drug use :/

good influences!!!

whew also someone who kind of.....had an idea of what he was doing with natalia and was Big Sus about it and maybe still is !!!?????!

[leaveharmony]

Anyway fuck it, it’s my blog.

Spaced on a physio appointment today...I didn’t -mean- to and I really...really could have used it bc my arm’s been bad, but I thought I’d scheduled it for next week (holiday complications) and the reminder email decided to go to junk mail so even when I checked it before we went out today, there was nothing.  And so I missed it, and my fucking arm hurts, and I won’t know til tomorrow when I can book another one.

Zero fucking luck even communicating at the desk where I go to therapy RE yeah SHE’S GOING ON MATERNITY LEAVE AND I HAVE NOTHING LINED UP TO REPLACE THE SESSIONS, the girl got stuck on telehealth, telehealth, and I’m like no...listen...I’m saying, the program director HERE, I know there is one, I want to know what...there is...HERE.  But nothing.  I wish it hadn’t been new years this week because I CAN talk to Jenny next week at the appointment but that’s after sitting tense as a cat in his whore-smoke reeking car while he swears & yells at every other driver on the road and then instead of leaving for an hour like a reasonable fucking person, plants his stupid ass downstairs to wait like nobody the fuck ever asked or told him to, so the longer I am the madder he is, and then setting up something to talk to someone...which will require doing the same thing all over again, or making a stammering idiot of myself via the phone that I cannot hold and take notes at the same time because again, NO FUCKING FINGERS ON THAT FUCKING SIDE.

I don’t even get to see Tana tomorrow because he’s got to save his energy I guess to carry jericho’s crusty ass through a match nobody gave a fuck about until it gave them a similarly bloated sense of hope that their horrible ship will get back together through the power of corporate mergers or whatever the fuck.  Maybe he’ll sit in on commentary or something, which probably also means “be stretchered out when a moron in badly applied goth paint jumps the rail and brains him with the timekeeper’s hammer”

They couldn’t have just given me a nice meaningless six man tag on night one or something, oh no.  Just nothing, and then pained dread.  I swear to fucking god.  I don’t think it’s going to happen, but when have I ever been right about anything?  So hell, maybe they WILL bring back in the piece of fucking trash who’s done nothing but bitch and moan and lie about them since before he up & left like a shrieking toddler who didn’t want to give back a toy because one (1) thing did not go how he would have liked it!  Who knows!  And then he can get his revenge on the guy who DARED to suggest that maybe New Japan didn’t need some assclown white savior whose name they made telling them how to run the place (make him the star of eeeverything!) in order to thrive or like, survive as a company!

I’ve decided I’m done writing, in other news.  An easily-reversible decision signifying absolutely nothing which certainly feels like one of those pathetic ~comment on my garbage or else~ pity-me statements that have always made me cringe so hard my face tries to cave itself in but is more of a just...fucking exhausted wheezing I’m done.  Like what is the point of me at all tbqh?  When I think...something is going and has gone well and then within maybe 2 days it becomes clear that everyone is just standing around the water cooler like “christ, should we tell her it was awful or...?”

What is...even the point.

It’s just...mortifying and I’m losing nothing because the stories are in there whether I shake them out or not, and not going through the rigours of forcing them out of my head just means a lot less mornings I’m up til 7-9am toiling on something no one, frankly, gives a damn about.

I can’t help anyone and I can’t manage anything and I can’t even properly articulate why I’m so tired and dispirited so what is the godsdamned point of me or anything?

[scuttleboat]

2 meta combo: Bellamy/baton + leadership themes after s4

I. Some disorganized thoughts on Bellamy and the hollow baton…

So I had a particular reading of the presence of the bottle prop in the end scene of 413 and didn’t think about it again afterwards, but this week I’ve read a lot of talk about what it means. So I decided to spill my reaction into one giant post. This is my general contribution to the broad discussion of the Baton as (one of several) symbolic prop for Bellamy’s character state. FYI it should go without saying that anything I write is in the context of being my opinion, but also I speak in declarative sentences a lot because I tend to believe my opinions pretty confidently.  To the point:  I don’t think the bottle is empty bc Bellamy is getting a fresh start.* The straightforward meaning is this: the bottle of liquor is drained when Bellamy gets to it because, as a symbol of power, it’s literally and metaphorically empty. Circumstances have rendered it sad and meaningless. A hollow consolation. It’s like… a really explicit piece of visual irony.

((* fyi, the positive hopeful element in that scene is not the bottle, it’s Raven’s steadfastness + Bellamy honoring Clarke’s memory through survival.))

Just going off of a lot of initial fandom reactions I’ve read on tumblr, some fans were so excited about him getting this baton at the finale that they missed that it was empty. And now that folks are discussing it being empty, there’s like this desire to see it still as a wholly good thing. To hold onto that excitement. Which I totally understand, because it seems like such a romantic idea. That he could inherit the thing that Jaha and all the Chancellors in history had. There’s appeal in that. But… he didn’t, and it’s not–emptiness is not a positive symbol in western media, guys. The bottle is empty because the Baton is a hollow dead object now. No more chancellors, no more Jaha, no more Ark ambitions of old. It represents a past dream that is out of sight of the current characters. He gets to a place where this potential symbol of leadership is in reach, and what’s it to him? This symbol that meant so much to Jaha has been reduced to a passing curiosity by a window. It’s not part of his future. Bellamy can’t preserve it and he can’t even drink it, just like he can’t act on the future of the rest of his people when he’s stuck up in space. His family is out of reach and the girl he loved is gone and the promise of a fresh start on Earth (written! right there on the bottle!) turned out to be an empty promise. They never had a chance… the world was gonna end in 8 months regardless of his and Clarke’s choices. This show is so fucking sad you guys. This is why I made myself cry writing about Bellamy in the Ark after I watched the finale.

The Baton is a piece of visual irony because the bottle now represents the hollowness (the ending) of the thing it used to represent in s1. They could have had Bellamy pick up any prop that had a positive and hopeful indication of his role, but they chose to give him the saddest and darkest prop they could. It’s marginally less depressing than a handgun or a photo. He picks it up but because it’s empty for him. (unlike the friend/family standing beside him, who together represent the true hope and the final image of the delinquents’ fortitude.)   That empty hollow bottle is the fragility of life and the tenuousness of survival in the face of a burning fireball of nature fucking you over (note: also a big whopping symbol visible in the same shot.) It’s the UNFAIRNESS of everything that has happened to these kids since the show started–they tried so hard and got this far and the bottle (the dream of Earth)–is *fucking empty*. They never had a chance on that world. It was always going to end.

[read a lot more below the cut, including meta #2.]

In terms of leadership this is the irony of the hollow Baton: Bellamy, who tried so hard to be a leader who was good and strong, and struggled to find his way, has finally has grown into a person who has a more balanced leadership style. This was foreshadowed in him letting go of Octavia and thematically cemented by him letting Clarke go in 413. Thus meaning he is finally “ready” by The 100’s morbid storytelling standards, finally balanced. Except now he’s faced with a situation where the ONLY thing he actually is in charge of is 6 people in a ghost-filled space bucket. Ding ding ding, it’s irony time! Whoo. XD …Meanwhile the world burns below and his love sacrificed herself…brings us to the other half of the irony, where i agree with pretty much the whole shipdom: they never got to have that drink. Because he didn’t carpe diem, didn’t open himself to the person he loves (thanks @velvet-tread). The universe is having one sick laugh at Bellamy Blake in 413, visually epitomized in that bottle.

I know my dramatic self has repeated this several times, but for real now ok— the Baton is literally empty bc it’s metaphorically empty. Drained of purpose. The old ways are no good, they’re surviving on their own, together. New generation. What matters here and now is that Bellamy and his friends will fight to stay alive as long as they can, even as hope burns away. They have each other and they have time so they’re going to stick together and try to survive. But what does the symbol of the Baton mean to that equation? To their future? Nothing–it’s empty. He’s holding it, accepting leadership, even as it’s a working like a visual pun.

ALL THAT BEING SAID---I do think it's fair to say that it being empty has little to no meaning aside from the fact that it was already drunk in an earlier episode and they needed to keep continuity. In that case, the only symbol that matters is the fact that it says "BATON" on it. Which is legit. BUT if we're going to speculate that its emptiness has meaning, then I'm going to say it definitely has a tragic and ironic meaning.

II. That age old leadership contest this fandom is obsessed with? After 4 seasons I think the point of The 100 is that it’s futile and nobody ‘wins’ bc it’s actually an endless struggle of self that C,B,K,A and J all wrestle with, where the “person” they’re competing with is their own failures until they individually learn to be wiser. That’s why the person who ended up in charge was the young interloper who wasn’t even a player til now….bc our main politically-driven characters aren’t in the story to win the leadership prize in the eyes of fandom, they’re in the story to grow.

I’m gonna go right to the explicit symbols of leadership in 413 and point out this: as of 413’s ending, Clarke’s *not* in charge of the future of their people and Bellamy is *not* in charge of the future of their people–Octavia is. While the show gave Clarke a heroic “death” and gave Bellamy friendship + an empty liquor bottle of used up dreams, Octavia was given the clothes / headpiece of the commander and stepped out to make a speech in front of the last of humanity. She has the support of the former leaders and the faith of the remaining majority. ((Whether you like Octavia as commander or not, that is what’s happening on the show right now. FWIW, I was hoping all season that it’d end with Indra.)) While Octavia is probably gonna be spending 6 years off screen going through what Clarke and Bellamy have gone through the last 4 seasons (i.e. emotional tests of being in power), Bellamy and Clarke both have a *reprieve* of leadership. AND ISN’T THAT KIND OF AMAZING? Bellamy only has to be strong and protective for six of his friends–that small team stuff is right up his wheelhouse. He doesn’t have to make decisions of mass death that cause him a season and a half of self-recrimination and doubt. Likewise, Clarke only has to be strong and protective for one person–she doesn’t have to make those mass death choices that cause her to break down crying or have horrific nightmares. She can love one person, unreservedly, without being torn apart by disparate loyalties.

One of the major themes for all the main characters on this show (except Octavia, who is on a different track) has been “How do I learn be a good leader?“ Well, I think 413 wrapped that up with a pretty bow–if the “bow” is the head/heart convo, Clarke’s choice to sacrifice herself, the Baton, and Octavia’s commander wardrobe. Honestly I could make a whole separate and much longer post about leadership as a journey for Clarke, Bellamy, Abby, Kane, and Jaha (guest starring Lexa and Roan as static roadmarks), but not today. I’ll just summarize and say that I think the last 4 seasons have been about the maturation process of Clarke and Bellamy’s leadership skills, starting as people who have the traits but not the wisdom/practice. Then pile on 4 seasons of triumphs and mistakes. By 413, Bellamy’s maturation process ends in letting go of attachment and Clarke’s maturation process ends in self sacrifice (foreshadowed by her taking the nightblood in 408).

I really really hope that the show uses the timeline to age up the characters in a way that the writers move on from this leadership question. That journey is done–Clarke, Bellamy, Kane, and Abby have all gone through a lot. When we meet them again, I don’t want to see them question their decisions every episode. Let them own their choices and move forward!! They’re grown-ups now omg. Give them all new dilemmas please.

If this is really a reboot for the show and for the characters then let’s tell a new story. “What will we do to survive?” is always gonna be the center of the series but I hope the writers approach it in a new way, that it’s not about the toll of constantly escalating power. That journey is done.  It’s been told, and by the end of s4 our favorites have all grown and changed as a result of it. When the survivors emerge from the bunker neither Clarke nor Bellamy will be in charge–so I hope the show takes this opportunity to try new things for their characters. For example, explore the drama of small group politics. Explore family in a way that isn’t just about conflict. Explore discovering love again when everything you used to understand about your loved one has changed. Explore new people and new alliances and new tests. Let’s see ADVENTURE again.

By s5, Clarke and Bellamy are free of the agonies of traditional leadership, now responsible only to their small family clusters. We’ve never seen them this separate from group obligation. I want to see what kind of people that reprieve has made them. Please @the100writers, show us the characters growing new directions.

[mustapleko]

So yall remember how I promised I was done with Sherlock like five years ago oh you do good because I made a word vomit about s4 click here or don’t because Idk how this happened I don’t have anything new to add it’s literally all the same crap that we have all seen already from mofftiss. Or at least was until the third episode because boy was that really fucked up or whaaaat??????????????  

 under the cut also spoilers or whatever. ↓ sorry mobile users :^)

I procrastinated 4 weeks watching the new eps. Yesterday I saw new cute fanart and was warmed and energized by my love for Sherlock Holmes *stops to wipe a tear* and found the willpower to sit through them. Initially I hoped that I’d be able to just enjoy the shittiness of it all. That I’d finally managed to break my emotional ties with this series (burning love for season 1 to deep disappointment in the rest)  Still wrote a rant nobody asked for. And to the person who convinced me to finish this: fuck you this took me all night now im tired and feel stupid abt this but it’s too late to backpedal so fuck it.

EP 1:

And there went my fun bc the first episode ended up being so... bland. Plot was rushed and pointless. I laughed at one joke. The rest of them were so embarrassing, oh my god. The “lol sherlock is awkward” gag is so old and tired. And his characterization is all over the place. Like.... I don’t even know what to say. I’m not a film critic, I’m not here to say what I just said, I came here to laugh at stupid shit and be offended as a Holmes fan.

But I started a rant and so I shall do because the second half of the episode actually gave me two reasons: There is one thing that I judge harshly in every Holmes adaptation, and that is how they treat their Watson. And there’s one thing that really bothers me about this series, and that is Mary. All of her. This had both problems.

Summary: So Sherly is off the hook for shooting a guy in the face in the last episode bc he’s needed to solve shit for the government. He then proceeds to be a huge dick to everyone. The Watsons successfully have a baby and it’s small and cute and all. The three (four) of them go off to solve crimes but everyone keeps shitting on John and we get this really weird Mary x Sherlock episode. Then one of Mary’s ex-co-assassins turns up wanting to kill her because of some misunderstanding. That crap is solved (with guns) and we are again assured that her history as a secret killer agent is in no way a problem and everyone loves her unconditionally. Then at the conclusion of the case some more guns are involved and Mary jumps in front of a bullet to save Sherlock and kicks the bucket. rip. 

I admit I’ve never had much interest in Mary in any adaptation. (Dumb personal preference. please I don’t wanna fight anyone over this, I do understand her importance.) Not because I think her a ship breaker or anything. I’m fine with her being involved. But she usually just kinda exists in the background. And ends up being disposed at some point This show tried to involve her properly but they made it so complicated. There’s no way to make her backstory fit comfortably into the setting. Not with John and Sherlock being more or less regular people. I don’t want to sympathize with her assassin ass. Again, my personal problem probably. But watching an episode centered around her was not fun.

I don’t mind them being a trio, but with this Mary the group is unbalanced. She’s too sassy and smart. Like having two Sherlocks. And considering what a charmer he is in this show...... brings us back to the problem I mentioned first. Which tbh existed before. Everyone’s really terrible towards John all the time! Still, after 4 seasons. I get that he’s supposed to be the normal dude who reacts to all the crazy shit happening around but....  He’s constantly being lied to, kidnapped, dismissed, manipulated and provoked into violence. My enjoyment of all things Holmes comes pretty much from the beautiful broship. But nooo, that’s too lame for this series, no homo.

I don’t wanna go too deep into that, it was talked about enough last season (“Is everyone I know a psychopath??”, “Why is everything always my fault??” & other Moffatty Stories). They do kinda try to convey how shitty this all is for John but it falls really flat. And that is so weird and frustrating because this show doesn’t actually suffer from a bad Watson like many others. They just don’t let him be a competent character. Meanwhile the person Sherlock is being besties with is Mary. Idk if they were trying to pander to the female audience or make her inevitable death sadder, but that was really weird.

I was happy to be rid of her in the end. Again, not in “hated the bitch” kinda way. That’s just the best course for the story to take. In that moment I had hope in the writers of this godforsaken mess. (Then her ghosting and becoming the fucking narrator later on ruined it.) It was dramatic and sad and all but they made that too all about Sherlock. And his angst. John’s been completely pushed aside??  And as rare as it is, I actually really like the single-dad-watson -trope. But you gotta let the man have some screen time

I just spent several paragraphs politely rambling when all I wanted to say was that Mary is terrible and I don’t like her and Sherlock is being a dick and I don’t like that either and the episode was boring

Time to list the good thing eyyyyy:

1. They gave John a new hairstyle for the season and it looks really good!

2. Yet another shitty dingy plastic skeleton in a serious crime drama. I 100% unironically love these to death no pun inteded

3. I was gonna write that I still actually really like Cucumberboy and he’s still very pretty but it took the episode 15 seconds for Sherlock’s personality to be too annoying for that to help lol

4. Yeah that’s all, it wasn’t great.

EP 2:

Now, looking at my summary you probably would not believe it, but God help me I had so much fun watching this one. Looking back, the plot is garbage. But how this was shot and acted out was exactly the kind of “so weird it’s funny” content I had been waiting for. I was in tears by the end if it. Most of it might have been late night hysteria I admit, but now afterwards it doesn’t matter. The episode is ridiculous, loud and energetic and idk how I’m gonna express that in a positive light the middle of a long ass complaint post. I’m not gonna say that this was the best episode off the three, I’ll just say I had the most fun watching it. Biggest minus points are for having to look at sherlock’s ginger teenstache through the entirety of it.

Summary: John is sad bc his wife is dead. And he keeps seeing and hearing Mary everywhere he goes. And we need her ghost to narrate the plot for us. But that’s not important. Because Sherlock is even sadder cos he feels responsible for her death. John wants nothing to do with him so Sherlock angsts alone, does a lot of unspecified drugs and spends the rest of the episode shouting at things coked off his tits. Then he makes a big show from trying prove that some rich famous old dude is a cereal serial killer, because the old bastard’s daughter visited Sherlock to tell him about her suspicions. But she was also sad and suicidal so they spent a lovely night walking out and talking about feelings. Or did they??????? *dun dun dunnn* Don’t do drugs, kids.  Nobody believes him because he’s weird and high. Sherly is then convinced that he’s actually going mad, then tries to murder someone again, then gets beaten up by John again, then almost gets mudered again and somehow the bad guy still gets caught they get a happy ending from all of that.

And in the end it was ~all part of a plan~ bc mary told sherlo that if she were to die, he had to make himself as miserable as possible to guiltrip john into saving him to make him feel better about himself or some shit because we can’t have john having any control over his life now can we what the fuck.

Now, I understand that a drama about a super smart people like has to have some elaborate plotting going on that is all revealed in the end, but this show has a really fucked up obsession with it. Everything is according to plan, everything that is going to happen Sherlock already knew weeks ago. That really sucks the fun out of the story and makes the actions of all the other characters meaningless. Previous episode even had a whole thing about how predeterminism is bad, you are not listening to your own advice!

Yeah the original story of the Dying Detective was kinda fucked up. Culverton Smith (the shitty old dude) was some asshat who went around poisoning people. Holmes pretended that he became one of his victims and that was dying in order to get a confession from Smith. Then he lied to Watson about this all because reasons and used him as a just pawn in the plot. Not his finest moment, but in right hands has lots of potential as fuel for some angst. I don’t know why I’m bringing this up. It’s not like team mofftiss knew how to use any of that. Gotta say I’m not really feeling the canon references anyway. Either they are relevant to the plot, meaning they make the stupid twists even easier to guess, or they they are just awkwardly forced in “we just wanted someone to say this name, look at us we read the books”  kinda of things ://

I took a lot of notes while watching this but now that I look at them I can’t really separate single things comment on. The show is trying too hard at everything it does and ends up being an all around fuck up. Middle of the night is also not the time for writing these, I’ve got nothing.

MMMMmmgood things listing!:

1. I really appreciate them hiring that one weird looking fucker to play Culverton! He keeps popping up in films and such and I’ve kinda wanted to see him play a holmes villain! He was fun!

2. Had some fun cinematography, especially for sherls’ deduction making pantomime

3. Sherlock’s a fun character to beat up and make cry ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and no no no no no no please don’t bring irene back

.....oh good you just needed to mention her because no homo.

(actually I can’t leave my jab at that. because that wasn’t a suble no homo, that was sherly straight up gettin told straight dude to another -talk how he needs to get together with her specifically in order to be happy. and that was the most forced and desperate scene I’ve ever seen and I’m not gonna let that slide)

4. irene didnt do a comeback

EP:3

Summary:

*takes a deep breath*

Sherlock finds out he secretly has a younger sister who is a total psychopath (hi moffat). She looks like the creepy woman from The Ring and she’s locked in a super secret mental hospital slash prison in the middle of the sea because she did terrible things when she was a child and is supernaturally intelligent and super dangerous because she’s able to take control of anyone who talks with or gets too close to her. So she’s secretly in control of the whole facility of course. We had already seen her in several disguises in previous 2 episodes (I’m so bad at remembering faces, I fall for all twists where they have one actor play several roles) and Sherlock doesn’t remember her because he was so traumatized when she killed his beloved dog when they were little kids. We get some flashbacks about the Holmes siblings’ childhood and then the sister locks Sherlock, John and Mycroft in a Jigsaw kinda game / psychological experiment, which they have to pass by solving puzzles and killing several people. And it was all because she was so much smarter than everyone else in the goddamn universe so she was lonely and saaaaad.

........

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I... know this show was not supposed to be a crime drama anymore but.....

whaaaaaaaaaa...?

that was straight up a shitty horror flick. how.... did this happen....? who was it that was so salty that they didn’t get to work on Saw? I hope all the east wind references to the last Holmes story and the name of the episode actually mean that this show dies here because where do you fucking go from there? Like.... not to add to their charming mental institution plotline but that was absolute insanity.

2/10, have read better fuck or die fics before. with much less no homo. (I swear I didn’t even watch this shit in search of homo, this show has started overcompensating. hard.) spent half of this giggling madly like the 2nd episode and half barely looking at the screen out of secondhand embarrassment for the shitty “shoot me” “no shoot me” dialogue

(though: not gonna lie, really liked the reveal at the end when it turns out it wasn’t actually Sherlock’s dog the sister had fucked up, but lil six year old Victor Trevor )

(oh my god! Remember how people used to joke about the “old friend of mine” skull above the fireplace being Trevor??)

fucking hell

Oh yeah and of course no one important dies and then the whole thing ends with “All the sister needed was love and then everyone is friends again and it’s just like the good old times *coughseasononecough*. John and Sherlock are back to living together and now they are dads no homo tho and they gonna go and solve fun crimes and do detective shit again. A pretty violin cover of the theme song plays and we all ignore ghost mary’s terrible cheesy narration over it” all of which should have happened three episodes ago!!! this whole season was pointless.