#bc like. I try to be a stupid pathetic joke person bc it makes people feel better about themselves
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letherightonein · 17 hours ago
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Sorry, but the "femcel behavior" shit drives me nuts
I'm autistic and chronically mentally ill. And the problem is that men have taken advantage of me by pretending they like me. Not gonna detail how, because we all can imagine how. And another thing: NINE OUT OF TEN autistic women have my same fate in the hands of men at one point in their lifes or even chronically.
People who struggle the most are not "ugly" or "just a loser lol", or "hateful, so no wonder no one likes you uwu".
But for details: I never lived that shit were you like somebody and that person likes you back, or somebody likes you and you like them back and you have a fancy relationship or whatever. Men only have seek a mistress out of me, a fleshlight to fuck. Only older men want me, and men my age discard me once they discover my whole life and personality is conditioned bc of my neurology.
My pain is real, my struggle is real. I'm not alone and suffering bc I think I'm too good for a male at my "league", or bc some stupid tiktok convinced me that I have to be a 10/10 in order to be loved, or bc I have bought the incel rethoric about only 20% of people are really liked.
I have actively ARGUED and FOUGHT incel rethoric for so much fucking time, because I KNOW that to be in my situation is not a meme, is not a product of "being ugly" or "being hateful", is a product of being fucked up and, in women's case, fucked over and abused constantly. I got the short stick in life, gyns.
Men, the world, women (yes), make you bitter after years and years and years of trying. I'm self aware, I try to be "the bigger person", I try to have empathy and see that my suffering is not the end of it all. I recognize that most people is fine - But what that has made for me? Just more self destruction and misogyny and self sacrificing and pain for NOTHING.
I have listened to men and talked to them till morning, held them while crying. And the very same men didn't hear me or helped me or showed compassion or empathy. In fact, some of them encouraged me to kill myself.
But please lecture me again about how I need to have empathy and solidarity! Learn something out of me that will save you time, energy and suffering:
Emotional labor makes hurt men more entitled and hateful, not less.
My situation is pathetic, my wound is pathetic, is not even thinkable for people. "Just open a dating app", "reach out", "stop your victim mentality". Doesn't matter how much reframing of my thoughts I make, people treats me like shit no matter what. I don't like to be here, I don't like to be in this place. But I exist. I'm a female reject, I'm hurting, nobody likes me and I'm on a cycle of being traumatized. In christmas not even my mom sent me a message, I don't have no one to reach out and the system only gives you the "take this pill forever and learn to look normal or die in isolation" way.
That's how the world treats female suffering, they don't even conceive it, or see it as a joke because I'm a female and not a male. Men can be the most pathetic losers on existence, make an entire ass ideology over the fact of not getting laid and EVEN ACADEMIA will take them seriously in a couple of years.
How many years has feminism existed? Because incel ideology is being discussed as a reality by people with a PhD. Even when discredited over and over again and linked to white supremacists.
Moid is the softest shit I can say about men.
But you know what shit is more of femcel rethoric than saying moid?
Buying the entire incel ideology package and repeat once again that "men are lonelier" because "women are choosing better". And that women suffering isolation, loneliness, chronic mental illness and rejection is a meme and not a real thing! Or my favorite: female incels don't exist because men fuck anythging that breaths! By that logic, incel men don't exist because they just can pay for it.
(Be a woman and honest: sex when seen as a mere fleshlight doesn't cure loneliness and can even be more traumatizing. Feel it with the same energy you say that having sex is not a right and there shouldn't be a female underclass to take male bullshit)
And "haha, yes, incels are ugly and will be erased from the gene pool". And repeat "female choice, female choice, female choice, pussy power! monogamy is not natural but an invent from patriarchy!!!" to oblivion.
That's core incel ideology, you are doing their job when repeating that stuff, you are doing white supremacists and male supremacists and anti-feminists and women's haters job when repeating that dumb talking points.
Maybe, just maybe, both men and women like each other and date each other and breed, even in the most utopic scenario for women, they would date most men. Maybe just maybe, just happens that ND and DISABLED and mentally ill people can't make it in most aspects of life and that includes romantic life. Maybe, it has nothing to do with being ugly or poor, or that the opposite sex "is choosing better nowadays", but being a different type of human being the system doesn't even conceive just fucks you over.
i'd have more patience for radfem critics if their biggest criticism wasn't "being nice to men is necessary feminist praxis, actually"
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destinyesque · 1 year ago
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K so I went and blocked everyone I know from college which I think is the best for me. Anyway do you ever feel like ur the superfluous member of the friend group?
#DO NOT TALK TO ME DO NOT RESPOND TO TJIS#i just never feel respected by the people I’m around#which is ok I guess like I kinda lean into it#but I think they only keep me around bc I’m a convenient target for insults and bad jokes#which is again kind of ok bc I lean into it#but it feels like that’s the Only reason a lot of folks choose to hang out with me#and it’s not really their fault bc I don’t stop them#I’ve presented myself as a stupid bumbling character for so much of my life. I like to pretend that’s all I am and I don’t have like#have feelings or whatever.#which is again no one’s fault but mine. it’s not anyone’s fault that they don’t realize I’m a person if I don’t present myself like a person#I just think it’s starting to be bad for my mental health#and my relationships and my credibility and confidence#bc I can’t do anything without being terrified I’ll be made fun of#I don’t eat regularly because I never deserve it#and I know that’s bad for me but I don’t know how to talk about it and I don’t know how to stop#and I can’t stop now because then what if people feel bad that the way they’ve interacted with me hurts me?#I don’t want to make my problems anyone else’s problems#bc like. I try to be a stupid pathetic joke person bc it makes people feel better about themselves#like if they know Sam can do something#they can definitely do it bc I’m fucking pathetic#and I don’t want to take that away from anyone and I don’t want to hurt people#I’m just tired.#I kinda wish I was someone else#and I know my problems aren’t like. real problems bc it’s all self inflicted but it still sucks#anyway I’ll be fine by the end of the weekend so don’t talk to me about it.
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twosoulss77 · 10 months ago
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but you are allowed to have a favourite ship, canon or not, out of a particular show.
Shipping is just a way for artist and what not to explore different dynamics, or even their own. That’s why I believe we should let people enjoy what they like, without forcing our own image of a certain spectrum into them. Especially cause shaming those people, for trying to explore their identity through art, might cause actual harm to them or cause them to not enjoy doing what they like anymore, bc of hateful comments from someone who hides behind a fake identity to hate on a fictional ship, which in itself it’s a very sad and pathetic way to live, but just cause your life is miserable doesn’t mean you need to make others people’s life miserable you know. Go touch Grass when you feel like being a dick!!!
As an AroAce fellow with no desire for a sexual relationship, I applaud and adore all those people making content of my fav husbands, let it be a fics smut or just normal fluff, I love it all SO MUCH Hazbin Hotel ep 5 changed my whole chemistry, and Say what you will about radioapple / appleradio, but I will always be entertained by the idea of Lucifer angrily doing acts of kindness for Alastor because it's what ‘Charlie would want’, and Alastor being a stupid ‘Bambi’ and try to wiggle himself out of it at the beginning, but then realise that he actually doesn’t mind the king of hell company at all. Both slowly growing to actually tolerate and maybe even like being around the other. Exchanging snarky remarks in a more playful way, playing music together, telling dad jokes, hating on the same delusions glorified iPad …like there is so much potential there that it’s crazy how much it pisses people off. It might be cause I am a sucker for Enemies to Friends to Lovers, but by God if that isn’t the best trope.
I know there will be some smart people out there, that are gonna be like “Alastor is ace”, but so are half the people who ship him!!! I hate when people make assumption on us, on who and how we want to love. I might not be interested in participating in sexual stuff myself, but that doesn’t stop me to explore my own ace-spectrum with these two characters, who if they wanted to could and would kiss each other, Cause for one I says so, I have the power to make that happen *insert hysterical laugh* And second It was confirmed that Alastor is a repulsed Ace, but would also be down to date someone if they were strong asf, (Confirmed in a stream, take that with a grain of salt) still makes this ship more possible than others.
Al being Aroace, doesn't mean he can't date or have sex, he's just not all that interested in it, but that could also derive from the fact that he hasn’t found the right person yet, so it doesn’t feel important to him yet. (fun fact aromantic wasn't the part of my struggle accepting that I was aroace it was actually accepting I was ace bc of my hyper sexual tendencies)
Also Alastor being aro just makes radioapple infinitely more funny to me, or any relationship with him for that matter. He is just this 7 feet tall demon with zero interest in romance, but always managing to find himself having beef with someone, possibly a guy, and act like he is either about to kiss or kill him XD
I really needed to get this off my chest and I absolutely mean every thing I said in here. Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but you'll be surprised to see how much happier you will be when you stop focusing on what other people are doing and instead focus on what you like.
Thanks for listening 😊💜
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carpedzem · 11 months ago
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hi
under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think
i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place
i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me
about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:
i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution
i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting
you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people
edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims
twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst
okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more
now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)
in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock
im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha
on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you
see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk
and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger
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quartztwst · 1 year ago
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Hii, sorry if this is a weird question, but it seems like you know Azul's character rlly well, so I wanted to ask - Do you think he'd be more of a tsundere in any kind of relationship (platonic or romantic) or open about his feelings? Have a nice day!
OHHH NO YOU ASKED THE WRONGGGG PERSONNNNNDKFJNAKADJSFNSNDKF i literally characterize Azul so bad i literally wrote him cooking meth and him being silly……. There’s plenty of people that do a much better way of understanding Azul’s personality and his relationships like @/pianostarinwonderland and some others nfasdfkjsk
I am the LAST PERSON TO BE ASKED THIS BC I DO TOO MUCH STUPID SHIT WITH HIM HRELPRL but I’ll give you my opinion!! Btw it’s not properly typed bc i love rambling
FIRST… AN (ATTEMPT) UNDERSTANDING OF AZUL (BECAUSE I CANNOT “ANALYZE”) IN HOW HE VIEWS RELATIONSHIPS:
From what personal stories and the game shows, Azul views relationships as transactional. YES I KNOW EVERYONE HAS SAID THAT BUT IT’S SUCH A MAJOR TRAIT IN HIS PERSONALITY. It’s just the truth.
In his stupid PE uniform R personal story, Azul sucks at flying (AS EVER) and Vargas pairs him up with Jamil to help his pathetic attempts. Jamil is obviously annoyed and proceeds to try to help Azul but Azul replies with a “what do you want?” CLEARLY THINKING THAT JAMIL WANTS SOMETHING OUT OF HIM FOR HELPING AZUL FLY ON A BROOM. Jamil doesn’t.. Like he doesn’t care he just wants to get this over with
But you get what I’m saying. Azul’s way of relationships isn’t really.. HEALTHY?? He views relationships as beneficial and transactional. You give and you take… but with friendship!!! It’s not a very healthy way to live but hey, what do you do when you’ve been bullied into nothing. He’s probably been in the “hey, my friend likes you” joke that “those” kids do.
(Okay idk why I said that its actually hurting me while thinking that I’m literally taking damage)
Anyways, what I’m saying is that he’s been treated as a joke by his peers and he probably does his contract deals to be treated seriously. I know it doesn’t sound irrelevant because I’m fucking typing what’s coming to mind but I feel like it’s connected to how he views relationships.
Also take a note on how he also views the tweels. (YES THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS THEY JUST DONT WANNA ADMIT IT). They aren’t servant and master like Jamil and Kalim but they are together like a business deal. They assist Azul and in return, it better be fun for them. (AND THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE AZUL I SWEAR THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS THEY ARE-)
We also need to take a note on how his parents are divorced. This can also affect a child’s view on relationships. (YES HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIS BIOLOGICAL DAD JUST LET ME SPEAK)
He has never spoke of his biological father and praises his step father in which he calls “father.” It’s either Azul doesn’t give a fuck about his dad or just forgot about him which is understandable. (Why remember when he doesn’t serve a purpose in your life but your birth?)
But it seems like his mom and step father have a good relationship since he mentions that they get along well and are a good couple which probably will inspire Azul
So what i will piece here is that Azul finds relationships and friendships as transactional but if he were to find an actual SERIOUS romantic relationship, he’ll try to make it work. Also him and the tweels are besties.
SECOND… THE ACTUAL FUCKING QUESTION… TSUNDERE OR OPEN???:
(This is in a Azul Ashengrotto x Reader (Prefect) way)
Personally, I kinda like tsunderes……………… so like a tsundere Azul I would love a lot. Idk i love it when characters get flustered but I wouldn’t think Azul would be a tsundere unless it depends on the person.
In friendships, he would probably see you a business transaction. Someone that will benefit him but he would be kind of sweet??
I MEAN LIKE in a way he would gift you a small souvenir from a school trip.
You know during the City of Flowers trip, he bought the Tweels a souvenir. I would like to think you were at the level of the tweels………. But you’re not.
He gifts you a sweet souvenir and he suddenly says you owe him LMAOOOO
He offers to tutor you and you suddenly owe him
He offers to give you a SMALL discount and then you suddenly owe him
A LOT OF TRANSACTIONS but he cares about you and it benefits you.
He would probably tease you a little too
HOWEVER… ROMANTICALLY IS CONFUSING..
Let’s say he has a crush on you. He’s kind of embarrassed and probably tries his best to hide it a lot BECAUSE HIS ASS IS BY THE TWEELS ALL DAY. A SENSE OF WEAKNESS AND HE’S PROBABLY TEASED LMAO.
Floyd: “Hey, Azul, why are you staring at Shrimpy for so long?”
Azul, has no idea what the fuck is happening to him: “.. Me either.”
At the start, it’s probably so confusing for Azul.
He probably had crushes in elementary school but since he was bullied, he probably saw himself as undesirable which made him keep the feelings to himself to prevent further bullying.
So he’ll try to hide it. SO like OH HE’S FACING YOU?? He’s turning away. He was a bit too comfortable to you?? BYE YOU NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. He brushed his hand on yours? Omg he’s like 6 feet away from you. I’M EXAGGERATING but he’s a little distant.
And it’s not like he’s visibly flustered. He’s very good at what he does.
I wouldn’t say he would be tsundere but shy and fucking scared LMAO
He’s trying his best to not show signs of affection to you because he doesn’t know how you feel about him
After accepting it, he doesn’t know what to do next. He doesn’t know if he should confess or just let it fade away because his previous crushes faded away.
Azul is a very observant mf so I feel like he would try to observe how you act around him to make his judgement on if he should make his move. (Ew that’s creepy.. but i meant it if you actually feel comfortable around his company or if you feel hostile around him)
His FIRST MOVE… is a FUCKING TRANSACTION.
Azul: “Prefect, I’ve been noticing how awful your study habits are! I’ve been wondering if you need any tips or assistance with it. I would be happy to help you study and be your tutor! … F-For a price of course!”
He’s trying ok. Take it or leave it.
He thinks as long he is beneficial to you, you might find him a bit worthy to have your attention and also it’s to up his confidence
He continues to make these small and helpful transactions and deals until he gets a little more confident.
I feel like he would think his flirting is obvious but his reputation pictures him as a sneaky guy that it doesn’t look genuine.
He is trying his best to look genuine but with his reputation… ermm.. sure buddy.
Azul probably has a plan to get you to date him idk like not in a EVIL SCARY way but in a desperate and pathetic attempt
So basically uh
HE’S TRYING HIS BEST TO BE OPEN 👍
When y’all start dating i feel like he’ll end up more open to you. Gifting you stuff and being on dates.
I adore tsundere Azul still
This is mostly just rambling and things i would think would fit Azul in MY OPINION I’m not good at writing Azul seriously
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scooter-ing · 1 year ago
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another silly rant.. . but this time its NOT about wenclair??
jesus, i just rewatched little witch academia after YEARS, and the pure sapphic energy radiating from that show is craaaazy yo. (heed my spoiler warning for lwa)
yeah so.. diakko. kay. now that that's out of the way
i actually loved akko's character as a whole, as ambitious and stupid as she is, i can totally see some of myself in her. i never saw her as a selfish person, i feel like she always considered and appreciated those around her. every time she cried and demeaned herself (especially in the second half of the show) i was like "poor baby" bc she really didn't deserve it. sure, was she a tad bit impulsive? yeah. but her character is meant to be easily swayed and convinced. like how croix convinced her to go to the wagandea tree, and literally gaslighted her into thinking she shouldn't trust chariot (ursula). as a character though, she really, truly, just tries to help people and i think you rarely see characters that are as pure as that, you know? her dream is to make people happy, not some bullshit like being the strongest witch, or obtaining some kind of object. she just aspires to fill people's hearts with joy, and her intentions are set with that only. and she tries, and tries, and tries, despite people's discouragement. so every time she cried, i cried with her. sigh.
moving on to ursula, otherwise known as chariot. i loved her older sister-mentor role. akko definitely needed someone that would keep her in line, but also encourage her in her endeavors and keep her safe. my girl was ALWAYS there to save the day (and by gOD she was so fucking hot whenever she was fighting croix). ughhh i literally groaned out loud every time she got interrupted when she was trying to tell akko about her identity. idk, i kind of have mixed feelings about the dream fuel spirit shebang. cause, chariot had NO idea it was stopping people from being able to use magic, so it wasn't really her fault. croix manipulated her. and once she found out about that, she stopped using it. im glad croix had somewhat of a redemption, but jesus she was such an asshole when she revealed that ursula was chariot. like, a royal asshole. bc that was not her secret to reveal, you know? and she left some very important pointers on the table. though, i felt terrible for akko.
mmmm. diaaaaaaaaana. diana cavendish. i had a massive lesbian crush on her for the whole fucking series. oh my god. especially in the two-part episodes where it's set in the cavendish estate? so, so, chivalrous, and dashing, and royal... and skdjhfskjlhf (totally referencing that one scene where diana defends akko infront of aunt daryl and offers her arm for akko to hold). poor akko, oblivious to like... all of the massive lesbian signals wafting from diana. she literally had big neon signs that said "akko you fucking idiot im gay for you."
all jokes (and thirsting) aside, diana and akko's growth as a pair is really touching to me. diana was never outright rude to her bc of her inability to properly use magic, i saw that she was more judgmental of her character as a person instead. (e.g the samhain festival episode in which she calls akko pathetic for "leaving" lotte and sucy before her performance). and i can totally see that it was reasonable. later in the episode, after akko finds the second Word or whatever, she goes on to think, "what is this emotion i'm feeling?" as much as i would want it to, i wouldn't say she was in love at that time, considering her harsh judgment earlier in the episode, but akko continues to grow on her from then on. i haven't mentioned this yet, but the episode (sorry that i keep saying "that episode" the site that i watched it on didn't have episode names) in which the faeries ordered a strike against the witches, was actually less goofy and funny than it was made to be. akko really took time to understand where the workers were coming from, and being their representative was really thoughtful? when diana came to tell her off, she deadass started making fun of her bc shes an aristocrat. and telling her she doesn't understand the woes of the working class bc of her wealth. which is just... so... real? and diana gets all flustered, which leads me into the topic of:
Diana Literally Only Blushed Because of Akko. she just gets all flustered when akko calls her out on her shit, like she's not afraid of her. everyone else is. even the godforsaken teachers are. she only ever truly worried whenever akko was hurt, or in some form of danger. she completely remains indifferent to everything, even when things happen to hannah or barbara she really doesn't give a shit. (at least not in the way she does with akko, she's probably loyal to her friends and shows it in her own way). which segues me into the episode "yesterday," in which akko goes "missing" and jesus christ diana's dialogue with chariot is really touching. from "akko needs you more than anything right now!" to "what could possibly be more important that akko right now!?" and "i'm more disappointed in you than i am of your past." she's just so well spoken in the most disastrous and telling moments, and it really shows how strong of a character she is. she remains level headed when lotte and sucy consult her about akko, and kindly offers them tea, along with reassurances. despite her generally not hanging out with akko's crowd of people, she's still kind and considerate when people need her. her words to chariot/ursula are so powerful because she's depicted as so stoic and indifferent but completely tells her off when she knows what ursula is doing is wrong. i hope that makes sense? from an apathetic elitist to a passionate worrywart - all over akko. and once she finds her, she basically acts as her caretaker, in that moment. and i'd be lying if i said i didn't cry, because god. diana knew exactly how to make her feel better, and man is that not an indicator to how perfect akko and diana are for each other. her confessing that she felt envious of akko's determination and closeness to chariot, and confessed to wanting to get away from akko bc of it, but ended up just getting closer to her.
in the last episode, in which they stop the missile, i was just so happy to see where their growth led them. them holding each other while doing the shiny arc thingamajig? awesome. akko catching diana when she falls? diana screaming for akko when akko falls? which inevitably leads to her falling because she's crazy for akko? really hit me in the feels. undeniably happy. joy. the parallels between chariox and diakko are like, super obvious. except for the fact that diakko was the better example, in which they worked together instead of one envying the other for their power. like how diana initially said she envied akko for having the shiny rod, and croix getting jealous of chariot bc of it too - except diana learned to accept it and support akko and work with her. bc red and blue gays. ygm.
i'll talk about andrew and the rest of 'em later bc im fairly tired but. im sorry for the excessive tangent. i likely left out a lot of what i wanted to say bc big gay brainrot, and i'll spew that out sometime later.
thank u for listening to my ted talk stay gay!!
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bigtittiecomitte · 1 year ago
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[Small Rant!]
(Hope this is alright!! Sorry for my ask being so long and all over the place, but I just had so much to say!)
I honestly might leave the fandom, I'm REALLY tempted to at this point. Because, I don't know how much more of this toxicity, the behavior of Envy and V stans (NOT ALL, BTW) and the Nuzi hatedom, I can take..especially knowing that Envy and V stans are doing the same thing they did back when episode 6 released, attacking and harassing Liam Vickers + sending death threats...it's absolutely disgusting and unacceptable and shouldn't be normalized, AT ALL. These individuals who are doing this aren't real fans of the show and don't care about it, they don't give a shit about the love, dedication and care that goes into Murder Drones or all the hard work that goes into the show. They only care about wether their ship becomes canon or not and if they don't get what they want, they start harassing and shitting on the crew behind the show, especially the creator (Liam) and say they don't wanna watch the show anymore and it just proves they were probably NEVER fans in the first place and only cared about shipping and that's just so damn sad, it's especially pathetic and childish how some of these fans act..
I've said it before and I'll say it once more, SHIPPING ISN'T EVERYTHING, STOP MAKING IT A BIG DEAL. There's so much more to love and appreciate about the Murder Drones and there's so much to love about the show and shipping shouldn't be something you should even go into and look forward to when getting into any piece of media, MD isn't even a romance show. I'm overall just so damn tired and sick of this fandom, like REALLY TIRED..it's just so damn draining and exhausting especially when the same arguments are used again and again. The fandom just sucks and I fear it'll only get worse and I really don't know if I can stay for much longer. (I'm seriously missing the pilot-era days when the fandom was small and not that bad) but even though the community isn't the best, I'm glad we have some respectful and caring individuals in the fanbase like you and others, I honestly don't think the fandom isn't as bad here as it is on both TikTok and Twitter, the MD fandom side of things on Tumblr is more tame compared to the other social medias I mentioned.
Overall, MD is such a comfort show for me and has had such a huge impact on me, it's seriously one of my favorite shows, I'm not even joking. I'm incredibly thankful and happy for it's existence and also thankful to Liam, GLITCH, the animators, the VA's and just the entire team as a whole for making such a great and wonderful show! It means so much to me and I'll never stop loving it despite it's ups and downs + the community not being the best at times, I'm truly thankful for this show and those I've met in the fandom. ❤️💞
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Hey you Dorky goober
No need to apologise for the long rant. Generally I adore long rants so win win for both of us (if anyone does need to rant about something then I’ll totally be here for you, I know what it feels like to not rant about something but you really do)
With you thinking about leaving the fandom due to the toxicity honestly I would not blame you at all. I’m someone who’s comfort ship is Nuzi so just seeing any hate would make me think about it for the rest of the day
Usually what I do when I see any toxicity is just laugh at it, laugh at how stupid their take is. Recently I had a fight with this Lesslie person and all I did was laugh at how silly it was like bro was getting aggressive bc people preferred Nuzi
I’m trying not to dogpile on toxic V fans + Envy shippers cause I don’t want to seem too obsessive over drama but for some reason it always gets worse
There are toxic Nuzi shippers but there aren’t as many as toxic Envy shippers like never in my life have I seen an Envy shipper getting doxxed because they like Envy. For some reason it’s always the toxic Envy shippers that make this fandom miserable
I don’t think they even know that they’re toxic shippers and desperately need to leave the fandom, most of them are kids but that never excuses any actions that they do because it’s the internet, once you post something it’s there forever
Murder Drones has so much in store than just romance and I’m saying this as someone who mostly posts Nuzi related things although I really do want to post more about the lore and I even planned for a full post on the details (I was pretty busy so I didn’t complete that but it’s in the drafts lol)
Not only the lore but just Murder Drones in general, the romance is great but so is the show, just everything about this show is filled with so much love and you can tell just by all the silly things they put in the backgrounds and the writing by Liam
Like the N x Uzi scenes are just small scenes like they’re put in different places but it works because the show isn’t focused on romance. I do think people forget that the N x Uzi scenes are quite literally important for the plot as well, it’s not just there for fanservice. Liam knows what he’s doing and anyone that tells him otherwise can go fuck off honestly
There are bad people but there are also a lot of good people in this fandom, a lot that do appreciate Murder Drones for even continuing. Screw whatever those 13 year olds on Twitter say, they don’t know crap about respect
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reitheist · 10 months ago
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bucchigiri ep 9 thoughts:
taken over huh... is that also what senya is doing to arajin maybe? like with the magic trampstamp (words i never expected to write...)
shindo is a bitch and pathetic but i enjoy his character unfortunately (in my defense, my interpretation of him threatening to do That to mahoro was just to make arajin pissed and get him to reveal senya. i think it was kind of narrative low-hanging fruit honestly.)
'is that a yes or no' take a wild fucking guess buddy
zabuuuuuu you are such a good friend
senya hitting people as a show of affection lol
matakara gathering money, presumably he was saving to get an apartment with his brother. what's he planning to use it for?
oh my godddd the cat boy drama 💀 this side gag is so stupid but so funny i love it. i imagine jasmine as as a pure white long hair cat and pu'er as a classic brown tabby. also cat boy getting way too invested in his personal life is *chefs kiss*
arajin is trying his absolute best to convince himself he doesn't care about matakara
the dynamic between komao, zabu, and ara is really funny. i think in other shows they might just sideline the friend characters but they really have an awkward 'friend of a friend' dynamic i like. komao isn't really socially aware enough to be mean to ara despite being him being mean to matakara, and zabu is more hostile but puts most of that aside for matakara's sake. it's like your friends scoping out your awful crush lmao
THE LIFE SIZED NAKED MARITO DOLL? EXCUSE ME??? there is so much wrong with mahoro oml
wait is the life sized naked marito doll marito's? that's somehow weirder.
mahoro, is that concern for a person who isn't your brother? wow
matakara :(
so is the 'monster' literal or metaphorical? interesting
ichiya you're hot as hell but stop telling matakara to draw away from his friends you bitch
'one person would've wanted it' stopppppp 😭 arajin is realizing he liked having matakara around while matakara is being turned against his friends by ichiya. the dramatic irony is killing me
the fact that this 'love forever stone' is a lake blue stone wrapped specifically in a blue cloth as well... that thing is definitely going to be given to matakara by the end, right? pretty gay if you ask me.
ohhhh my god mahoro character growth. plus her relating to him specifically through their shared brother idolization is a good touch. very sweet
mahoro's basically saying like "dude how are you only focused on yourself and me right now. how have you not noticed your childhood friend is depressed and crazy in love with you. like seriously he has not been subtle. at all." lmao i love herrrrrrr
mahoro deserves her own show
also relieved to have ara's interpretation of matakara and mahoro's relationship as romantic to be kind of trivialized again in this scene. i think their dynamic is more interesting as two very different personalities which share just enough to relate with each other. she only wants ara to get his shit together for matakara's sake. i want them to be besties please
arajin is The Worst with emotions huh. he can't read other's feelings and he's somehow worse at reading his own. he needs to stop being relatable right this second
yknow at this point i think i can say i truly and properly enjoy arajin as a character. he's mostly an asshole and deeply emotionally unintelligent but i like him regardless and because of it
ah senya ichiya and arajin matakara parallels as i expected
so does senya=matakara and ichiya=arajin kind of?
i really wasn't joking about them being exes huh
stoppppp ichiya gave him his name? senya was and continues to be so ridiculously down bad
'he meant absolutely everything to me.' dude.
senya is trying to get ara and matakara together bc he couldn't do that for him and ichiya
i am so gd curious what happened to drive them apart
matakara losing sight why he wanted to become a honki person in the first place (ara) and trying to destroy it
'what senya wants is your body' context needed.
i'm thinking maybe ichiya is willing to fully take over bodies and senya isn't, thus why he hasn't done it to arajin already. that or he was planning to in the beginning but got too attached
ohhh this is gonna make for a good dramatic fight
ughhhh another really good episode. i think the story's finally full found its stride. very hyped for the last 3 episodes. i think next episode will probably deal with betrayal between senya and ara, leading senya to explain exactly what happened between him and ichiya. matakara will trying to fight ara and ara will have to run away, frustrating matakara even more. mahoro might focus on trying to help matakara
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crowtrobotx · 9 months ago
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Also i noticed that Wintersberg lovers create similar posts. "Heisenberg has eyes only for Ethan! Why the hell do you think he would fuck you?" Oh boy…There are so much aggression, disgust and negativity in one post towards the people who just don't share their "Heisenberg loves Ethan" headcanon! That's just unbelievable. If, for example, i posted something like "General Wintersberg headcanons: Heisenberg leaves Ethan for a woman" those unhinged folks' asses would get exploded in a second. I am sure they wouldn't like that. (And then i would just go "Hey come on, guys! Why are you getting offended? I'm just making fun of something you like! It's just a joke! It's not that serious!) But i think none of us should do that. None of us should copy their moronic deed! Instead let's just leave them alone and keep enjoying ourselves because we have every right to.
(Sorry I completely left this in drafts and forgot about it bc I have the object permanence of a baby)
I totally agree on both points! As I’ve mentioned before, if I posted my less than positive takes on that ship - which, ironically, almost all stem from my interactions with the actual fucking people who are over the top feral about it and have less to do with its actual content - in the main tags I would get swarmed by people rightfully upset that I’d deliberately tried to ruin their fun. But for some reason it’s “just harmless complaining/a joke” when the opposite happens. How pathetic.
I truly don’t get how these people can post (sometimes repeatedly) about how women are wrong and stupid for having hobbies and then respond when called out like “🙄 saying someone is gay isn’t an attack on women, wow, you must be a crazy person who needs to log off.” My brother in Christ, you are the one posting about how angry it makes you that the girls are touching “your” toys. Trying to pull the Uno reverse card like “actually I’m not a misogynist, you’re homophobic and delusional for being hurt that I said something nasty directed at you” is not the flex you think it is and YOU might indeed be the one who needs to log off if you’re instigating this shit.
Anyway. Yeah, as tough as it is for my Scorpio ass to not launch myself at these people for being dipshits, I am taking the route of “I’m just going to have to get more annoying in the tags and give him more girlfriends out of spite” lmao.
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watsername · 10 months ago
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What are your thoughts about?
I was gonna try and collect my thoughts coherently before I started talking bu ti cant be bothered doing that so like. about the dream and that one circle of mcyt that just fucking hate them .
actually this is about how I have felt observing the dream space recently.
im uncomfortable?? not with the dream team, I still really love them and I enjoy their content and I do still watch sap naps streams if im awake for them but honestly taking time just to spend time on my f1 blog has been like a weight lifted from my shoulders.
just talking about dtblr, ive seen people trying to make the best of the situation by live-blogging sapnaps streams making jokes spreading positivity for all 3 of them but it doesn't really of much to take away from the pressure of the situation. Every day it seems like some cc somewhere has something to say about dream or George or sapnap and every day we rush over here to discuss it. it almost feels like theres this pressure to perform and to respond to what is being said, we need to discuss everything as a controversy no matter how stupid or insignificant the situation is and we contribute to the snowballing of tiny things that honestly dont need the attention the theyre getting and its tiring to watch. like im at the point where im scrolling past 'did you see what x said' because honestly I dont give a shit I dont give a shit about a cc who spoke to the dteam on discord maybe twice talking about their 'truth' I really dont care .
im genuinely just fed up with the way the creator space and fan spaces behave. Dream posts 'pls talk to me' and creators say 'but that won't get me clout' back to him.
who gives a shit if dreams stole punz girlfriend. who cares if dream sent a dm that might have been considered rude to Sara Simons a fully grown ducking middle aged woman with better things to do than start twitter drama. who gives a shit about sniff having one insignificant negative interaction with dream over a year. none f this is your fucking turret its just airing out high school level petty drama that could easily be fixed with a fucking dm . its pathetic. the way so many creators are going 'I too am a victim' and its 'he sent me a private message I didnt like' who fucking cares. and all of this 'ill stream explaining my story' what story. that he made a joke in bad taste. its performative. they want views they want twitters support they want to seem like theyre on the RIGHT side so theyre just pulling any old story out of their ass to add to the mentality of the mob and make it seem like yes I too hate dream because he is so awful when in reality he was probably just a bit of a twat like a lot of guys in their early 20s are . the only way hes gonna know that he did something that made u annoyed or upset or even mildly fucking miffed in the case of Sara fucking Simons is if you tell him. and we saw that bc 5 mins later shes saying oh its all fine he messaged me . see how fucking easy it is to actually fix these tiny ass issues if you actually have a conversation before launching a hate campaign on twitter dot com . and people going off to run with it and add it to the pile of 'poof' they have. hell ive seen someone saying they appreciate dream saying they want to talk about situations and saying they want to chat with him about an experience they had with one of his friends like what does that have to do with dream actually why not just take the initiative and talk to the actual person involved instead of making dream do it for u. its all just drama mongering
on a more serious note I really dont know how to feel with the whole situation with caiti. George didi fuck up and im not moving from that stance- whatever happened he made her feel uncomfortable and went on the defence instead of prioritising apologising to her for the way she felt about the situation.
what I cat fucking stand is how weirdly this situation has evolved. the initial statement was that he had touched her waist and tickled her and cat didnt like that. THAT CONTACT the touching of her waist was spread across twitter as a sexual assault. which its fucking not and it pisses me off as a victim to see how loosely terms of sex crime are being thrown around bc no matter how uncomfy you are touching your waist is not a sex crime. there was no mention of inappropriate touching actually, just that he had crossed a physical boundary with her and ive already talked about why I can empathise with that delayed reaction in feeling deeply uncomfortable with the situation . so it confused me as to why people on tiktok were spreading misinformation that his hands were down her pants and cat coming out of left field with he was grabbing my tits. because none of that was ever discussed in any of her prior statement and that seems like pertinent information when were discussing sexual assault. and from what ive seen her friends timeline of events dont match up with hers. her timeline of events onset even match up that well with her other comments on the situation and all of it just feels so fucking odd. why do the details change depending on who you ask and when you ask them
but I wasn't there. I dont know what actually happened. having experienced it you automatically hold that understanding towards her despite all the backlash because people blamed me too, they didnt believe me either and you never want to completely dismiss it no matter how weird the story seems because what if. keeping myself in the situation is stretching myself in two different directions where one is dismissing the claims of assault because nothing adds up and the other is she might be like me .
the reaction to caitis initial statement has snowballed extremely out of proportion if u ask me. nobody needs to know everyones personal grievances with dream or George or sapnap and to say that youre sharing these to support victims is a straight lie bc it has nothing to do with victims they receive nothing from your story that he made a bad joke 3 years ago or whatever and everything to do with the fact that you are utilising an opportunity to gain relevancy again and I dont want to partake in their relevancy.
I dont want to partake in any of this fucking drama actually. it's non stop. it's constant. its all over my dash all day every day but maybe its just the ppl im following idc. but I dont want to come back into a community where im going to find myself fighting to justify why I still enjoy the content of some creators while there are other creators receiving less vitriol for breaking the literal fucking law . its exhausting . its been years of it for me .
im not mentally well. I have a lot going on in my family life and I didnt realise how bad things were until I told my work friend I hadn't seen in a while my 'family drama' and she and the assistant manager pulled me aside and said 'im so sorry youre going through that right now are you dealing with everything alright?'. I have my final exams within the next month. I need to pass these to graduate. I have so much that is already causing me stress in my life and so much of the misinformation around the situation is so triggering and untagged and I dont want to log on and see another bout of 'x responds to x' 'x talks about dream' 'x shares thoughts on George situation' . I cant fucking do that right now.
people have called it the cowards way out, bailing at the burden of controversy but im not switching sides. im not deactivating. im not becoming a dranti. I still talk about the dteam i still like the dteam but I cannot force myself to endure other peoples stresses at the time being . thats all ive been thinking about rlly .
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cookinguptales · 2 years ago
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tumblr please don't delete my read more it's important
really fighting feelings of worthlessness and loneliness lately and when I say bruhhhh there are days when I am not winning.
I just feel like I can't do anything right lately. my art isn't up to my usual standards, when I can even get it done. my home is a mess. my personal relationships are in shambles. one of the only family members who doesn't think I'm going to hell for being a gay blue-haired liberal has cancer and I feel selfish for even having feelings about it when I only just met her. (and it doesn't feel fair that I had to go without extended relatives who loved me for almost my entire life when I potentially had one right there but I'm well aware that that's pretty much the most selfish possible take on the situation, so I'm just keeping my mouth shut and trying to support the rest of the family.) I'm behind on my work, which is just complicating my personal relationships even more, and I just found out that things are about to become even more complicated at my job and like. jesus christ.
I'm just so fucking tired these days. I feel like I just keep getting sick and I keep getting behind and I can't do anything right. and I know a lot of that is just the weather changing and things will be easier once I'm in the pacific northwest in a couple weeks but. I can't tell you how stupid it feels that the weather can pull me apart like this. I barely leave the house these days but I get sick just sitting in rooms that have sunlight. it just makes me feel like I'm even more pathetic.
I keep trying to be positive on main but y'all I just feel like I can't offer anything to anyone these days, which I guess probably makes me try even harder to do it, which just makes me more upset when I fail because I'm spreading myself too thin.
idk. idk. I feel like I just need to sit in the woods by myself for a while and have a little cry. maybe once I get out to california. like damn, the trees don't care if you feel unlovable or not, they were there before me and hopefully they'll outlast me and there's something comforting about that, maybe. I have this weird, desperate need to earn love from people and you can't do that with a tree. it just is not possible. being out in nature makes that part of me go quiet for a few minutes sometimes.
I guess now is the part where I apologize and make some kind of self-deprecating joke about how I miss having a livejournal to pour my embarrassing thoughts out on but like. idk. I don't have the heart for it rn.
some of this is hormones, I know, but some of it is just. a lot of things are really shitty right now. they just happened to coincide with when I'm having body-wracking cramps because fuck me, that's why.
there's no end to this post and I'll probably delete it later. I just had to get it out in words bc it's the way I process things. this isn't a cry for help anything, I just had to talk and the notes app is not doin it anymore. bye.
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kurokoros · 2 years ago
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As we are talking about Steve's character rn, I completely agree with anything you said so far. To add to the whole s3/s4 treatment, I just hate the whole "babygirlyfication" by the fandom because of how s3/s4 was written. Like if I hear the word babygirl one more time. I think what annoys me the most about it is that in Steve's case, babygirl=stupid himbo loser, and ughh, I just hate it so much. Yes he wore that dumb sailor outfit but he hated it every second he had to be in it, but the fandom overlooks that completely and decided yeah Steve loves to dress feminine and all (mostly to pair him up with other characters like Eddie and to subject him into weird ship dynamics where he's like the submissive partner). I swear, ever since s3 people think Steve is so helpless in everything, they also act like he's a super virgin who just can't get anyone, which contradicts s1/s2 Steve. I mean, okay, he could have had a funk in s3 bc of Nancy, but the show over exaggerated it to a point it was so ooc. I think the scene I hated the most in s3 is his last one, where he needed Robin to get him the job at FV because apparently he hadn't seen any movie prior to this day (despite being a huge Tom Cruise fan). It's so annoying really because they simplified him so much. He could be such a great character with depth, but nope. And the fandom perpetuates this by making him the dumb babygirl his entire personality. You're literally one of the few people trying to pick up after s2 and develop him in a way that makes more sense than what the show did.
Other characters the show did dirty after s2 are Hopper (bc what was up with him in s3 like it was actually scary), Joyce, Mike, Jonathan (well actually he got fucked over by being Nancy's accessory since s2) and partially Dustin esp in s4. The writers needed a department that overlooks character contingency because those are not the same ones we watched in s1/s2. I love Stranger Things, I do, but my god, the wasted character potential sometimes keeps me up at night. I'm not a talented writer, I try my best, but even I would have come up with better storylines or at least make sure they stay the same characters.
The whole "babygirl Steve" thing makes me want to eat glass. Like, I get mad when I think about how they went the himbo route with Steve instead of continuing the "jerk with a heart of gold" characterization they had going for two seasons, and to see the fandom just constantly make "babygirl Steve!" jokes irritates the hell out of me. I don't want to be that bitch who says you aren't allowed to headcanon characters certain ways, or you aren't allowed to project on characters, but damn some of the Steve stans genuinely make me question whether or not they actually like him in the first place. Like... Steve is a masculine guy! But people saw that he has a haircare routine and cares about hygiene and decided that makes him feminine to fit a queer stereotype so they can ship him with the two most mediocre white boys the show could offer.
And it really is super fucking weird that S3 "babygirl" Steve is portrayed as less intelligent and more pathetic than he was in S1/2. It's infantilizing. And the sailor suit makes it worse. If I could change one thing about ST I would get rid of that stupid fucking sailor suit. The show really did just make Steve seem pathetic in S3, and it was done in a way that I just don't understand why anyone who actually likes Steve would enjoy what they did.
Along with the "Steve can't get a job on his own" (which doesn't make sense if he was apparently a trained lifeguard. this man would have actual references aside from his mother if that was the case) thing, I have a bone to pick with the recurring gag of "Steve doesn't get pop culture references". Like??? Steve was a popular kid in school??? He would know movies (if only because movies are a super common date activity and there's a theater in Hawkins).
I refuse to acknowledge S3-4 as canon in any of my fics because of how much I despise the way canon botched most of the characters. There was so much potential there, and instead they just made Steve a loser with no charm. The Duffers for sure need someone in charge of characters. And plot. And worldbuilding. And overall consistency.
Basically, the Duffers need to hire actually good writers and just stick to directing.
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nathank77 · 2 months ago
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12/5/24
7:25 p.m Significantly Added to.
My eye still hurts. I can't still feel the bump. I've done hot compresses. I keep doing the dropper. If it doesn't get better I'm committing suicide. I have no choice. If I wake up with my eye swollen shut it's the end of me. If it gets any worse I'm actually going to do it. I don't want to deal with this
I've got to deal with this, one of my worse fears, Riley.... my shit family, my shit environment. I mean my life is fucking awful and not worth living.
And then I think about Elise. And she's my only hope. She's actually the only reason I'm not doing it. I would have the second my eye started hurting the way it did... I'm not joking. She's always saving my life. I just wish I could talk to her. I've been watching Baby Reindeer or whatever which is really good tbh. And I feel like a stalker. I'm not actually reaching out or anything. But I feel pathetic being so in love with her that I'd fight to live just for the chance to know her personally.
I feel shitty cause I'm not actually doing any of things Martha does but I'm talking about her. And I talk about her saving my life. And how she's saved me millions of times with her eyes. And I just feel stupid and low key like a stalker..
A guy's got to have hope though. I'm not hurting her but I'm scared that just by talking about her I'm making her hate me. I need her even if it's just an illusion.
I hope my eye gets better. I'm terrified. I'm afraid I'll wake up and have my eye sealed shut. I don't want to get treatment if that happens. I just want to end it. I don't even want to sleep. If I sleep it could happen, that would be the time it would happen.... I'd rather die.
I mean next step would be oral antibiotics I think... but the problem is its a little too late if it gets to that point or it gets more swollen. Then it's just time to end it I can't handle it. My life is shitty enough as I've written this I've hallucinated 500 times... my life isn't actually worth living. All I do is hallucinate and have anxiety and have health issues that are consistently pushing me closer to my suicide. And I just can't handle an eye issue.
I had therapy. She isn't helpful. She doesn't say anything when I pause for long periods of time. She only talks about me meeting someone at the fucking gym and I say people wear headphones and don't talk to anyone. I talked about mike and how it hurt me that he abandoned me. I got triggered talking about Mike bc he left me sitting there multiple times pretending he had flares up and he was just trying to ghost me and he couldn't even be bothered to fucking refer me to someone..I see a therapist at this point so disability knows I'm still disabled. I don't expect any help. They just see me for money and 99% of them do not think I'm treatable. Which is why they all leave. And I just need the state to know I'm still disabled and I've tried to find therapists but everyone gives up on me.. and yea. Cause I can't make them stay. Mike really fucked me up not even giving me a referral. And this lady she doesn't say anything. But it's whatever the state knows I'm disabled.
I already have to cope with the fact that I don't matter to my family that they don't care about me or my health at all.. and my mother I've caught her smoking pot recently..she seems too fucked up for it to just be that.. but it's whatever she can chemically alter herself and pretend I don't matter and I'll be dead one of these days.
In 6 months my room will be Riley's dog bed.
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ciderjacks · 2 months ago
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Ok I’m gonna try anyways.
It just feels like for most people women are much easier to hate and sensationalize and use as ragebait or a punchline. Women’s faces, forms of expression, voices etc are used as a cheap cashgrab by men of every background and political view.
And like irl too, it’s just like everything about you is infuriating in a way it wouldn’t be if you were a man. I’ve literally seen dudes say that female voices and faces make them angry, some even say that like when a woman makes a “smug” face they want to beat it her.
the way we talk, walk, look, dress, everything associated with us is so easy to hate. I feel like even with my friends and family, I’m in a constant uphill battle to be treated the same as everyone else, and my mistakes are amplified to a million times larger than the mens are, but if I point it out I get treated like I’m being paranoid and crazy.
everywhere I turn it’s like being a woman is in itself an offense, and a joke, and an insult to humanity. I can’t escape it, leftists do it just as much as everyone else. Everything is just subtly or not so subtly telling you that you’re less than human, and that everyone loves to hate you and that you will never be able to undo that feeling.
eventually after 19 years of that you start to really hate yourself. I can’t help but that think that’s why so many women hate themselves so deeply, but that because its so engrained into social norms that women are to be treated as subhuman, that we internalize it instead of blaming the obvious problem. When misogyny is so rampant that it’s considered part of the foundation of a normal society, then when misogyny makes you hate yourself, you blame anything besides that because anything else is easier to fix. Does any of this make sense.
like, I think almost every woman reading this has dealt with self hate that probably really stems from how society treats women, but she’s blamed herself for it bc it’s so ingrained as being “normal” That u don’t even notice how it wears u down slowly. like as if culture and society and every person around you actively pushing the narrative that you’re unfunny, boring, useless, stupid, dramatic, punchable, a sexual object, less than human, basic, shrill, annoying, whiny, self absorbed, pathetic, unfun — and just inherently less worthy of respect than men, wouldn’t fuck you up and make you hate yourself.
and then, guess what, they make fun of how you hate yourself too. And simultaneously they complain about how “hating yourself is a womans thing :(” and “women are privileged to be allowed to hate themselves and be sad all the time :(“ like honest to god man just stop. Stop.
Having feelings about. Like. Sexism. But I lack words to communicate them without sounding stupid.
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moonctzeny · 4 years ago
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Promotion
This is technically a part 2 of my fic Work for it but it can be enjoyed on its own!
pairing: supervisor !johnny x intern ! female reader x assistant !haechan
genre: smutty goodness (this will send me to hell vip)
word count: almost 14k
summary: “After you fuck the Sales’ department supervisor, Johnny Suh in your office during an overtime, you’re left to deal with the unavoidable lingering emotions that come with getting his dick on the regular. At the same time, his assistant and your best work buddy, Donghyuck, who initially helped you with getting with his boss, realises his growing crush on you that is too big to be ignored at this point. With their masterful skills in seduction, you’ve ended up tangled in a sexual game with the both of them, all the while trying to move up from an intern to a permanent worker in the company”
warnings: threesome w/ two doms, alcohol consumption, mention of food (meat, lettuce, eggs), oral, overstimulation, thigh job, at some point- reader borrows a shirt from haechan and it’s mentioned that it’s ‘too big on the shoulders’, thigh riding, office sex, pussy slapping, choking, fingering, sir kink thrown in there at some point, a little degradation bc this is my fic we’re talking about
a/n: omg it’s finally done! I really love this so I hope you guys like it as well :)
taglist:  @rainodanna​, @markresonates​, @unknown5tar​, @yoongsicles​
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For every other worker in the office, virtually nothing had changed. 
They relive the same mundane routine, Monday after Monday, the same excruciating 8 hours and short cigarette breaks. The same trees, stuck in their ceramic imprisonment would greet them in the company’s entrance. Rigid and dusty and reeking of cheap plastic. It’s not like they’d come alive, open their little mouths on their thylakoid membranes and tell everyone you fucked mr. Suh, the Sales Department’s supervisor, in your office during your overtime. No, that’s not possible, you reminded yourself when you pass by them every morning, giving them a side eye for good measure, as if that would scare them off their zombie state.
And you were the same too, completing your tasks and meeting your deadlines. Blending in with the rest of the company’s human resource, with the exception of the occasional double take of some tactless male worker here and there.
Donghyuck, however, said supervisor’s assistant and your best friend, wasn’t your typical office worker. He noticed the extra layer of cherry lip gloss coating your lips. He noticed your new perfume, sweeter than the one you used to wear. He noticed the knowing smiles between you and his boss, the heat of your body when you were around him. And it wasn’t just because he was sharp overall.
He was the one who practically got you together, planted the seed in Johnny’s head about the cute new intern of the Financial Department. He was the one who convinced him to finally make a move on you, tired of seeing you trying over and over again to seduce the supervisor to your bed. 
And when that seed finally sprouted, in the form of Johnny spitting in your mouth and taking you on your office chair like you were his last fuck on earth (according to the hair-raising description you gave Donghyuck the morning after), he should’ve been happy, right? 
It didn’t really affect his life in the slightest.
You were just y/n. His friend, his work buddy. The person whom he was close enough to let you know you had a piece of lettuce stuck on your teeth from that sandwich you had on your break. The person who texted him funny gifs of pandas falling asleep during the most boring of meetings. With your nerdy glasses and that ugly brown suit you loved wearing so much. The person he dreamt of fucking every time he fell asleep.
When you told Donghyuck you had a crush on his boss he wasn’t shocked, but the stinging buzz in his guts surprised him. He would see you waltz right past his office all perked up and pretty, to see the person you really came for, nervous as you hung from every word that left Johnny’s mouth. He’d put up with the sound of you giggling over every stupid joke that left the older man’s mouth patiently, just to wait until he’d smell your sweet perfume as you’d walk past him again. To tease you over something that would make you mad enough to notice him, glare at him, maybe even hit him.
And Donghyuck wanted to hate Johnny, he really did. His stupid boss who asked for his coffee specifically made, who was rude and cranky on Monday mornings and got the credit for all his hard work, yet Johnny was nothing of the sort. He was helpful, and kind and let him off early. He was funny and good looking and taller than him and had a six pack, damn it. If Donghyuck was being honest, he didn’t just like his boss, he admired him. It was pathetic, he thought. Most days he’d live vicariously through him. 
Sometimes he would lay on his bed at night, picturing himself to be the second lead of a romance drama that would sweep you off your feet. Everyone gets second lead fever, right? In his rem cycles, he’s handsome and hilarious and much more interesting than the main actor. He would imagine himself stretching out his rays, like the full, rising sun that he was, until they overcame the big mountain that was Johnny and reached your skin. So hot against it that you’d have to undress, remove the clothes sticking on your sweaty skin to embrace him. 
He thought about your body a hundred times too many for it to be considered healthy. The curve of your ass in your pencil skirts, the little hairs on the nape of your neck that stuck out from your tight ponytails. The runs on your tights that he wished were caused by the sharpness of his fingernails. He listened to your voice carefully, all 90 Hz of it, and played it inside his head as if it was an instrument. Putting together chords and harmonies, composing a music piece of all the ways his name would sound like coming out of your lips.
Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Donghyuck
“Earth to Donghyuck? Are you listening to me?”
It was unlike him to be out of it, especially when he was around you. He blames it on skipping coffee this morning or the shade of red of your blouse that fits you so well. Either way, he had to respond, and keep the pink from flooding his cheeks further. There’s no way you could’ve known what was going on inside his head.
“Uh, yeah, yeah. So, let me get this straight. Weren’t you the one who didn’t want a relationship?”
You were upset, he could tell. After the night of the overtime, you and Johnny had indulged in a few more nights of each other’s presence, but had kept it at that. Sex. Delicious, mind blowing, porno worthy sex, but nothing more than that. And you were starting to itch for a little bit more.
Donghyuck was right, of course. You were the one who told Johnny that this wasn’t the right time in your life for any sort of commitment, especially with someone in the workplace. This was your internship, and you were determined to get a permanent position soon, that should be your first priority. Get the bag and go. There were men everywhere. But why was your heart aching for that particular one with the long hair and the caramel eyes and the flower tattoos? 
“I just don’t want people at work to gossip about us, you know how they get. But seeing him so nonchalant about it gets on my nerves.”
Leaving his apartment at 2 am when he was sprawled out on his bed, in just pyjama pants and the light layer of sweat from the athletic sex you just had, hurt enough. It was a sight so beautifully hidden under his work attire that it soon became addictive, the withdrawal symptoms too intense for you to have your dose only once a week. 
Donghyuck scowled when you first let out a frustrated sigh, your eyes pitifully following his boss’s silhouette around. He knew you’d never really complain about it, you were set on that promotion and you deserved it too, but it was hard not to get angry. Everything he ever wanted stood willing and ready for taking in front of Johnny’s lap, how could he not claim you?
He hated seeing you sad.
“Let’s go for a drink. I think you need it.”
Even he surprised himself with the sudden proposition, blinking back at you to gauge your reaction. You were best work buddies, sure, but you never hung out after office hours alone. It would make sense for you to refuse, Donghyuck told himself, trying to soften the blow of a potential rejection. You’re probably tired from working, or maybe you’d feel awkward to be alone with him for so long. Maybe you hated to drink, or maybe you hated him. Oh God, what if you hated him? What if you only spent time with him out of social obligat-
“Sure, sounds good. Pick me up after you’re done? Since you’re on the top floor.”
Donghyuck nodded back at you, too eagerly for his liking, the gears in his brain already trying to figure out where he should take you. You excused yourself back to your office, the small pat you gave his shoulder making him grin like an idiot.
This is not a date, he reminded himself. 
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He had dreamt of this moment for months now. He thought about you every time he walked past that korean bbq place, promising himself that one day he’d muster the courage to finally ask you out. This wasn’t exactly the case today, but it was as close to his imagination as possible. This is not a date.
He repeated that phrase over and over again, let it resonate inside his head. This is not a date because he is a coward and you like someone else. Was he a bad person for taking you out today? Was he taking advantage of your slight disappointment? Was that why you ever said yes in the first place? The self deprecating thoughts lit a fire in his belly and he tried to extinguish it with every shot of clear liquid that disappeared from between his full lips. Like he expected, you weren’t far behind on the drinking either, enjoying the grilled pieces of meat blissfully, moaning in satisfaction with every delicious bite.
You looked pretty before, but now, through the pink coloured glasses of intoxication, you were stunning. There was a halo of bright light surrounding you, making you look so celestial chomping on that piece of lettuce. If it was anyone else, he would pull a face of repugnance at the sight, yet Dongyuck thought that you just looked so cute, so content in that little moment and he wished he could just lean in and leave a kiss over your filled cheeks.
No, that was a dangerous thought. This is not a date, pull it together.
Donghyuck desperately tried to focus his attention somewhere else, anywhere but you would suffice. His eyes finally landed on a bowl of marinated eggs on the table, and it reminded him of the three boiled eggs he makes for breakfast every morning. He was a man of habit, following the same routine until he’d see you and you’d colour between the lines of his life, making it interesting finally. Donghyuck would fill the pot with more water than needed, just enough so that it doesn’t overflow. He liked to be closer to you than he could handle, close enough but never touching you.
Lost in his daydream, he doesn’t realise that he hasn’t talked in minutes. And when you touch his hand lightly with yours to bring him out of it, he almost feels the boiling water burning his skin.
“You’re so quiet”, you say with a chuckle, and Donghyuck makes a mental note to add this harmony to his composition, “you got drunk before I did? Are you really Lee Donghyuck?”
“Well see, I drank all this soju, so I wish I was someone else for the night.”
The statement saddened you, and you withered a little in your seat. Why did Donghyuck drink so much tonight? You came here for you to cheer up, didn’t you? Or were you so caught up in your little personal drama - that you caused yourself - that you missed hearing about his cat dying? You must offer your condolences. Did he even have a cat?
You don’t want to bring up his dead cat in case he did so you just lift your hand next to his head, and weave your fingers through his locks. He has been growing out his hair for months now, and the look might not be the most corporate-professional but it sure fit him. The ash blonde shade that he decided to colour it, brought out the tan of his skin nicely, and the hair itself though bleached was still soft to the touch. 
You see him react to the work of your fingers instantly, his expression shocking you. His mouth is hanging open in a loose ‘O’ shape, small wrinkles forming on the space between his eyebrows. You pick out small pieces of hair, one by one, letting gravity do the rest by allowing the individual hairs to return to their previous state. 
“What are you thinking about?”, you ask so softly it’s almost a whisper, and Donghyuck can only sigh.
YOU, he wants to scream, you’re in my mind all day long and I think I’m going crazy! He is full on staring at you now and there’s nothing in the world that can take his eyes off of you, off your worried eyes that seem to hold all the stars in the sky, or the soft skin of your neck that he wants to kiss and suck and break so badly. But he doesn’t, and the soju calls him a coward for it, so he settles for the next best thing.
“You are pretty”
It was just three words but they sent your mind in a frenzy. Why did it matter so much to you that Donghyuck found you pleasing to look at? He has complimented you before, even flirted with you a lot of times, yet it was always said half-jokingly, followed by a diss. But this time he was serious, no signs of alcohol clouding his eyes. He was so solemn in fact, that those three words made the heat burn on the skin of your cheeks, rising up your throat and hindering you from responding with a human sound. 
He takes one more shot, washing away the embarrassment of his sudden confession and offers to order one more fatty dish to sober up, then take a walk in the city.
The walk was relatively quiet, less awkward than it was 30 minutes ago but Donghyuck was still being uncharacteristically silent.
“I thought you said that alcohol doesn’t make you red”, you say teasingly, trying to spark conversation. 
It doesn’t actually. You were the culprit of the wash of burgundy all over his skin, accumulating even more pigmented around his ears and the freckles of his nose. You were walking side by side now, and Donghyuck thought that for the passersby you two must look like lovers. He let his brain entertain that fantasy, his hand itching to hold yours. He’d intertwine your fingers together, give your palm a little rub with his thumb. Then he’d lift the bundle of fingers on his lips, kiss the thin skin of your wrist and make the aunties that are looking at you now coo in adoration.
“Says you. You look so fucked right now.”, he jokes and you’re relieved to see him go back to his teasing self. You don’t know if it’s the chilly night, but you’re overly aware of the heat his body emits, and the smell of his cologne makes your head spin just a bit more. You’ve been sitting so close to him this entire time that you can list off most, if not all, the ingredients in his perfume. Rose, chilly pepper, orange blossom, lavender. 
“Donghyuck, I will step on you.”
“Mmm, tempting”
You shove his arm playfully and he reciprocates, but his strength is not as controlled as he thinks. The heels of your boots, slippery against the wet floor that the drizzle caused earlier, make you trip on your steps, and Hyuck is luckily there. With his quick reflexes he catches your elbows first, pulling you up against his chest and you grab his left bicep to support your weight. 
You take a deep breath, to register that you did not fall head first on the floor, and that’s when you realise how close Donghyuck is to you. His bangs are tickling your forehead, your deep pants fanning them apart. You admire his glowing skin, the wrinkles of his lips, the two moles lined parallelly with the bridge of his nose. You’re not sure what comes to you, but you raise your free hand and place it over his hot cheek, your thumb connecting those two moles with an invisible line. A raindrop, fresh out of the sky and signifying the start of a new drizzle, falls on his face and follows the trail that a tear would, his voice weak and breaking when he speaks again.
“I’m sorry”
He dips down his head then, connecting your lips and letting the plumpness of his mouth reel you in. You’re over the initial shock almost immediately and kiss him back in vigor, surprised with the heat his kiss has spread to your chest and belly. It was an ember at first, glowing in the very depth of your insides but it was soon starting to spark up uncontrollably, and you were scared of how rapidly it was fueling up. This was your friend you were kissing. So where did all this hunger for him come from?
You pull back when you realise you’re in a road full of people, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him in the eyes. Donghyuck looks disheveled and anxious, and he apologizes again before he urges you to keep walking with him.
“It’s starting to rain. We should get home.”
You walk next to him in complete silence now, stealing quick glances of his reflexion at every surface that made it possible -  the windows of the parked cars, the puddles of water on the sidewalk, a passersby’s glasses. The look on his face is unreadable, pensive if anything else, and it’s rare for the expressive Donghyuck you’re used to dealing with. Your homes are towards the same direction, his a little closer than yours, and it doesn’t take too long for you to reach the entrance of his building, your clothes not even half wet from walking without umbrellas.
Donghyuck fumbles to find his keys, his hands shaking from the adrenaline his body released from the kiss earlier, the feeling still too fresh against his lips. He stresses thinking of what to do next. Should he hug you goodnight? Apologize again for kissing you? Unlock the entrance without a word and never speak to you again? 
“I’m here”, he states dumbly, as if you’d sit at the porch of a strange house and he avoids your eyes as if you were Medusa, “Goodnight.”
You smile back awkwardly at him, waving with a hand made of clay as you wish him the same. He has turned around to unlock the door, key already at the keyhole and you turn to leave too when his voice stills you in place.
“He’s an idiot.” His back is still facing you, and when he turns to look at you his eyes finally lock with yours, as honest and earnest as ever. “Johnny. If it were me, hell, if you wanted me like that I would grab that opportunity- grab you in an instant, convince you to be mine any way I could.”
You’re stuck looking at him like a fool, trying to comprehend what he’s saying and the complications of it. He puffs out through his nose, chuckling to himself and shaking his head.
“It doesn’t matter. Goodnight y/n.”
Donghyuck is half inside the entrance now and your body suddenly exits its frozen state, blocking the door from closing with your boot. He’s shocked with the sudden movement and he opens up the door further for you. You get inside the little hall without thinking, sitting firmly in front of him, a puzzled look on his face. 
“What if I told you he hasn’t even crossed my mind this whole time we were out? What if I told you I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you kissed me? Would it matter then?”
He opens his mouth momentarily, as if to speak but decides to stay silent. He already said everything he needed. It’s up to you now.
And you aren’t ready to leave yet.
You take a step forward to close the distance between you, your chests touching and you pick up the distinct smell of soju in his breath. You’re not sure if it’s that smell or the proximity but you feel drunk all over again, the yellow light of the hall shining disturbingly bright down at you and urging you to do something.
You plant a kiss over his neck, leaving a trace of the remnants of the pink lipstick you applied at the start of the workday. It was tentative, but you could still feel his raging pulse from under your lips. You could feel it get faster too, the rhythm going higher along with his body temperature and you decide on a path. A path of kisses starting from the same spot you’ve turned glittery pink, up his jawline and all the way to his earlobe.
Donghyuck clenches his jawline, you feel that too, and something snaps inside him. He just can’t take it anymore, having you so close to him, your lips on his neck and doing nothing about it. The boiling water finally spilled over the pot, hot and overflowing, and he doesn’t care if he gets burned.
You feel the cool wood against your back before you taste his tongue a second after. He has pushed you up against the entrance door, you realize, but it’s hard to comprehend anything around you when he kisses you like that. It’s the steamy, purposeful continuation of the kiss you shared earlier, and with the lack of prying eyes Donghyuck has a good idea of where he wants it to lead.
He shows you too, pushing his knee between your thighs and he feels your heat almost melt the rough fabric of his jeans. There are so many things he wants to do, so many lines he wants to cross but there is one thing he must ensure.
“Tell me you want this.”
You glide your hands upwards from his pecks to the slope of his neck and wrap them around his neck. Your body seems to act up on its own, and you feel yourself grinding down his leg that is still positioned against the wall. It feels dirty, the desperation of it all, and you connect your chest with his again before answering him.
“Lee Donghyuck. I want you to make me cum” 
You grab his hand before he gets to respond, the cool silver of his watch digging against your fingers, and you drag him to the elevator door. As if the universe had sensed your urgency, you find it waiting for you at the bottom floor, and you pull him inside with a tug of his tie.
In no time you find yourself pushed up against the wall again, and you can’t see much beyond Donghyuck’s lips, but you do catch him clumsily pressing the button to his floor with your peripheral vision. Once the elevator is in motion you feel like you can finally submerge yourself in his lips and the way his kisses take your breath away, not sure if the funny feeling in your stomach is from the sudden change in altitude or the arousal. You’re already taking his clothes off, removing the jacket of his suit off his shoulders and working the top buttons of his shirt open.
It’s him that drags you to his apartment this time, urging you out of the elevator as soon as the robotic declaim of his floor number rips through the wet sounds of you kissing. His keys are already easily accessible in his front pocket from your conversation earlier, and when he manages to unlock the entrance with trembling hands you walk inside as if you own the place.
It’s small and cozy, decorated minimally. The first thing you notice is that it smells like Donghyuck, something that should be obvious but it still overwhelms you. It’s maybe a bit stuffy from the hours he was gone yet this is the smell still lingering in your nose from his skin you were sucking just moments ago, trying to distract him from the easy task of opening the door. It’s addictive and you want it stuck on yours.
And Donghyuck does stick on your skin, discarding his tie on the floor with a strong pull and finishing the task of unbuttoning his shirt that you started in the elevator. His movements are impatient and soon he’s half naked, and you barely have time to admire his caramel skin before his hands are all over you. They start safely at the dimples of your waist, then sliding upwards to your ribcage and copping a feel of the underside of your boobs by sneaking his thumbs under the wire of your bra. You want to feel more, encourage his probing fingers so you reach to the clasp on your back, unfastening the garment and removing it through the hem of your blouse. 
Donghyuck can’t take his eyes off your chest, nipples hardened from your arousal and poking through the thin fabric. He takes his thumbs, the same thumbs that lit a fire in your belly earlier and flips the bud, toying it around and rubbing circles around it. The response from you is immediate, moans that start off soft and build up to a crescendo bouncing off the walls of his apartment.
It drives you crazy, a little bit, that smirk he has on his face now. It’s so familiar in between his features, you’ve seen it countless of times, especially during his typical teasings of you, yet is carries so much newfound weight now, so much sex appeal. He’s already giving you what you need but the climaxing is too slow for your liking, you want more and you want it now. You want what you asked him for in the lobby of this building.
Donghyuck can either read your mind or read through the increased frequency of your moans because he undresses down to his boxers, forming a trail of clothes from his living room to his bedroom, where he has led you. He doesn’t even bother to open the lights, relying on the moonlight from his window for lighting and pushing you down on his bedsheets. 
He climbs up with you, hovering over you and you move back a bit so that your head rests comfortably over his pillows. If the smile he gave you earlier had affected you, then the hungry look on his face right now almost makes you come untouched, his eyes raking up and down your body as if he doesn’t know where to start.
He decides on your calves, kissing them and moving upwards slowly and sensually, not missing the sensitive skin on the side of your knees and paying extra attention to your inner thighs. He’s still at it a minute and a half later, and you can’t tell in the dark but you’re sure they must be decorated by bite marks by now, his close proximity to the source of your pleasure making you squirm in his hold.  
It feels like ages since you last felt his fingers when he grips the soft meat of your thighs and spreads them apart. They soon move up to the hem of your skirt, rolling the fabric upwards and over your ass. You feel his breath against your pussy, making it tingle and twitch even more than it already has, and the wait feels like a new level of hell in Dante’s Inferno. 
A single finger pets you over your underwear, drawing lines over the damp fabric from your clit down to your entrance and then up again. You whimper and whine at the sensation that is half a step from what you consider satisfactory and he hooks a finger on the black lace, moving it to the side and letting you experience the cool air of the room all over again. The full exposure brings heat to your face and you breathe through the embarrassment that arouses you even more.
“Hey, Donghyuck?”
“Yes?”
“Is your cat still alive?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
He licks one long stripe over your entrance, and you feel the goosebumps spreading all over your arms and legs. Nimble fingers spread your folds apart, and you hold your breath as he lets his cool spit drip from his lips and land onto your lower ones, then starts sucking over your clit. His tongue is wet and his breath is hot, the combination driving you insane. You grip the comforter, digging into it with your nails to keep yourself grounded.
“Oh my god, yes, right there”
The praise motivates him to keep trying hard, not that it will take a lot of effort to make you come undone. Donghyuck’s unprecedented touches and the newfound sexual tension they have ignited had already worked you up, his skill in oral accelerating the build up to your climax even more. And just when you thought it couldn’t get better than this he starts a series of kitten licks right over your clit, each one sending a wave of pleasure stronger than the one before.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum”
You’re grinding on his face, trying to find the right pace when you finally come undone, thighs shaking and desperately trying to push his hands away to cover up your sensitivity again. His hold is steady and he continues to lick you keenly, the lewd sound of him slurping your wetness filling the room. Your eyes open wide and you can only stare at his white ceiling during your overstimulation, the cracks and crumbling plaster caused from humidity looking like constellations in your orgasm-drunk mind. The second climax hits you suddenly but forcefully, unable to control the volume of your voice, not that you can hear yourself clearly in your daze. It’s an array of moans and screams and tiny whimpers of Donghyuck’s name, his beautiful symphony coming to life.
His appetite for you is finally satiated, and he decides to take mercy on you and remove his lips from your pulsating heat. You look so beautiful right now, he thinks, skin illuminated by the pale moonlight that is reflected on the wetness dripping from your pussy. He hovers over you again, pulling you into another kiss and you lazily reciprocate. His member is painfully hard, sliding over your slickness. You squirm and yelp everytime the fabric of his underwear grazes against your clit, your nerve endings screaming in sensitivity.
“I don’t have a condom on me”, you whisper against his lips, the taste of yourself on his tongue engaging you in the kiss again.
“I’m too tired to fuck you like you deserve anyways”
It would be criminal from you to leave him untouched like that. He looks so hot over you, messy hair and chin glistening in your juices. You absentmindedly place your nails on his collarbones, then scratch your way down over his navel. Donghyuck hisses at the numb stinging of pain, hips buckling against your pussy in the pursuit of some sort of friction. 
You move your hand even lower, slipping your fingers past the waistband of his boxers. You move past the bristles you find and grasp his member, that is not too long but an impressive girth. You manage to free it from his underwear, and you can’t really tell in the dim lighting but you bet it must have turned a purple-ish red colour. It’s leaking.
“But we don’t have a condom”
You take one of his hands in yours, giving it a kiss to calm him down, then place it over your left boob. He toys with the mound of your chest, squeezing the softness. You had other plans for him.
Connecting your knees together, you let the softness of your thighs connect, with only maybe a slither of space between them. Your hands are still on Donghyuck’s cock and you reach to hold his balls, massaging them slightly and pulling him towards you.
He takes your cue and leans forward, sliding himself between your thighs. The moan he lets out is guttural and elongated, laced with the beautiful metallic tone of his voice. He lets go of your breasts and wraps his arms around your knees, putting your calves on each of his shoulders and continues to rut his hips against you. 
“Fuck. This feels so good”
You look up to see Donghyuck’s face, contorted in a frown that can only be described as desperate, his lips puffy and red from all the licking and kissing and sucking. 
He looks painfully sexy, and you momentarily imagine all the things you would do to him if the serotonin of your double orgasm and the alcohol in your belly weren’t weighing you down. You’d gladly stay up all night for him, tugging on his long hair as you’d let him bend you in any position he wanted. You bet that thickness would feel amazing stretching you out and you moan at the thought, your thighs flexing involuntarily and making him moan even more. 
Soon he has picked up his pace, the tip of his cock reappearing between your thighs more frequently and you can feel his thrusts getting sloppier by the second.
“Fuck fuck, I’m coming”
He suddenly pushes forward, almost collapsing on top of you as a string of satisfactory groans leave his lips. His hips still with a stagger and you entrancingly watch the ropes of white dripping from his cock and landing on your blouse. It was a mess, but you can worry about it in the morning.
Donghyuck fucks your thighs slowly for a little longer, elongating his pleasure for as long as he can and soothing the crescent moons his nails formed on your skin with his fingertips. He reaches one hand to his bedroom floor where he finds a -what you hope is- clean t-shirt, and pats his cum off your blouse as best as he could.
It has gotten late and you’re both exhausted, Donghyuck’s comfortable weight on top of you lulling you to sleep. He’s hugging your hips now, head resting on your stomach and occasionally kissing your hip bones tenderly. You’re not sure when you slip out of consciousness but you do hear Donghyuck mumble something against your skin, something the kiss of Morpheus doesn’t allow you to make out.
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You wake up to a white ceiling. Not just any white ceiling- a cracked, full of moisture pockets ceiling and you wonder when you let the humidity mess up your apartment this much. The culprit of your awakening, the morning sun rays that shine right on your eyes; way too bright than what you’re used to, force your eyelids to open, and it takes you a moment to adjust to the abundant light. This isn’t your apartment.
The sight of a man that greets your barely recovered rentinas shocks you, and you rub your eyes just in case you’re stuck in a lucid dream or something. You see the mess of ash blonde hair and the pile of work clothes discarded on the floor and your mind soon is flooded with last night’s events, buzzed out in your foggy memory. You sense another buzz as well, a physical one this time and you wiggle in place when you feel something hard and metallic digging in your butt. You prod a little with your fingers, trying not to wake up Donghyuck too abruptly and you realise that yes, you’ve been sitting on a phone all night.
Shouldn’t it be a Tuesday today? It’s very bright for it to be that early but surely Donghyuck must have set an alarm for the both of you last night. You yawn involuntarily, deciding to play with your phone until he wakes up as well when the bright white display pulls all the blood from your face.
8:40. You have to be at work in 20 minutes.
“Donghyuck! Hyuck!”
You didn’t care to make your touches light. They were shoves, really, pushing at his shoulders frantically to get him off of you and pull him out of his slumber. He wakes up with a gasp, trying desperately to keep his balance and failing, to then fall unceremoniously on the floor.
“What the hell?”, he groans out with a hoarse, groggy version of his voice, “My head is pounding”
“It will hurt even more once I’m done with you! You didn’t set an alarm last night? Today’s a work day!’
With his eyes bulging, he launches himself forward, grabbing the phone from your hands. 
“Shit, shit, shit”. He’s fully awake now, hands rubbing his face to come up with the next logical steps to take, in order to have you both at work on time and looking presentable. “I have a mouthwash and hairbrush in my bathroom, I’ll get ready here”
“And what the fuck am I supposed to wear?”
“Yesterday’s clothes? Are you really that concerned about recycling an outfit right now?”
You roll your eyes, pushing your blouse down and dragging his comforter off your body. 
“Did you forget about this?”
You straighten out the fabric for him to see, and the big, grossly dried out cum stains aren’t hard to notice. His face looks worried, but not necessarily apologetic, and you can almost see the scenes from the sex you shared last night play through his eyes like a porn film. 
“Your skirt is fine, right? I’ll find a shirt that fits you”
You’re spitting out the fluorescent blue liquid when he timorously walks in the bathroom to leave the piece of clothing he promised. It smells heavily of those moth-repellent sachets and looks slightly wrinkled, like something he pulled out from the depths of his closet but you don’t really have the privilege of playing Suzy Menkes right now. You pull and tuck the fabric in creative ways, in order to style the garment into something you might walk into work wearing one day, yet it’s painfully obvious to you how misfitted it is; too big around the shoulders as one would expect from a man’s shirt.
You exit the bathroom after giving up, pressed by the limited time and the sound of Donghyuck’s uneasy steps through the door. You let him freshen up as well and use the time to collect your things that are scattered all over his place - he was kind enough to bring you your bra that was discarded in his living room floor along with his shirt - and soon you were rushing out of his house and into separate cabs so as not to raise suspicion.
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The rest of the day was normal, well- according to this new definition of normalcy for you. Where everything and everyone seems to follow this movie script of what a typical company must look like, while you worry that someone will probe uninvitedly into your thoughts. God knows what they would fish out. A broken record player of Donghyuck’s moans when he cums, the burn of his thick sex rubbing against your thighs, the paths of his neck veins you memorized by heart. 
You shake your head to clear it from the intrusive thoughts, and click the refresh button of your emails. The sound of keys being tapped and printers being put to use lands you back to reality, and you calmly click on the new incoming message from the Sales Department.
It was Johnny.
You’d think that after having his dick down your throat for about half a minute, getting butterflies in your stomach from the mere sight of his email address would stop being a recurring event for you. But alas, here they were, tapping their little wings in a flutter that turns into a hurricane of anxiety, and you sarcastically thank the universe for having to deal with Johnny while looking like an 80’s librarian.
You walk up the stairs like your ankle’s dragging a ball and a chain, the piece of paper in your hands getting slightly ripped from the abuse of your nervous fingers. It was a stupid document, barely half filled with any valuable information and you think it can’t be worth the calories you burned with that trip. It certainly wasn’t worth entering hell, aka mr. Suh’s office, and just the thought of him waiting for you in his fitted suit and gelled back hair is making you light headed. If Johnny was Hades then Donghyuck definitely was Cerberus, guarding his boss with his three heads and his big dick.
You leave a breath out when you realise he isn’t there, making your way onto Johnny’s office with lighter feet. He smiles brightly when he sees you, handsome as ever, and you carefully leave the document on his messy desk.
“Well, isn’t it my favourite intern”
You laugh at his sing-song tone, enjoying how warm he was being today.
“You used to avoid me like the plague and now I’m your favourite?”
“You always were my favourite”, he winks, and pushes back his hair like he knows the effect it has on you, “If someone is avoiding anyone like the plague that’s Donghyuck. I would have sent him to you but I can’t find him anywhere.”
You gulp dryly at his words, an invisible awl pinching your chest. You could feel Donghyuck slipping away from every place that you might share, in a very subtle way, but still noticeable from you. He left the kitchen hastily when you walked in to make your coffee, excused himself out of the lunch break through which you always kept him company, and now he was gone as well. Was last night such a big mistake in his point of view?
“I’m kidding, I just wanted to see you.”
He motions you to come closer and you timidly oblige, serenaded by the sound of his voice but not missing the hunger his eyes hold. He’s still seated in his big leather office chair, thighs spread out in a way that turned you on embarrassingly much, and you fit yourself in the space between his long legs. 
“He is very jumpy though, Donghyuck. Do you know what happened to him?”
Your whole body tenses up, muscles hardening defensively. “Why would I know?”
“I don’t know. It’s just that you guys are so close.”
Close. Close as in having his knee between your thighs, close as in being pushed up against his chest and the elevator mirror. Close as in knowing how his tongue feels massaging your clit. 
“Have I seen you in that before?”
You’re confused with the sudden question and when you search for the context you realise he’s talking about your- Donghyuck’s shirt. Did he smell the sex on you? The overwhelming scent of pheromones and Donghyuck’s cologne that your nose just couldn’t ignore?
“I don’t think so”, you try to answer as nonchalantly as possible, “it’s new.”
“No”, Johnny insists, and pinches the fabric with his fingers. He’s very knowledgeable about fashion, always complimenting you on your outfit choices and you know he wouldn’t let this one go so easily. “I’m sure I’ve seen this before.”
You follow his line of sight towards the ivory fabric too, as if you expected there to be written “YOUR ASSISTANT GAVE ME THE BEST HEAD OF MY LIFE LAST NIGHT”, in a bright red marker. It was a prison, in the form of 99% cotton and 1% pure anxiety, and you know you had to distract Johnny out of this subject one way or the other.
“You like it?”, you ask seductively, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear.
“I’d like you better without it.”
With just one strong, yet calculated pull he has you sat over the length of his thigh. Your hands land on his chest for stability, right over his pecks that fill your palms easily. There’s nothing you want more than to suck on those perfectly sculpted lips of his, but you’re not too faithful on Donghyuck’s mouthwash so you settle for the earlobe that isn’t pierced instead.
He loves the feeling, the activation of his erogenous area and the suction of your lips that resembles one of your favourite activities together.
“I like this shirt”, he starts, unbuttoning your chest into plain view, “and I love this skirt”
He runs his big hands over the plumpless of your ass, squeezing it then retracting his fingers back on your thighs. They’re cold against your burning skin and the contrast causes goosebumps to erupt in the shape of his handprint.
“You love all my skirts Johnny”
“I do. Because I can do this”
His fingers roll the hem of your skirt up your thigh, the only thing separating your heat with the smooth fabric of his slacks being your skimpy underwear. You’re pretty sure the wetness must be transferring to it already, your thoughts of Donghyuck and all the things he could do with you having you desperate for a release. Johnny pets your clit over your panties then, just a light graze of his finger that elicits a moan from you.
Your hips move on their own, slowly humping his thigh that flexes from under you. You grab his tie to help your movement when your pace picks up, enjoying his body heat that coated you. 
“Someone might see us.”
His desk chair was large, sure, but so was Johnny, and even though his back was facing the door of his office, no one could mistake the sight of you riding him as anything else. 
“I told you, Donghyuck keeps disappearing. And it seems like it won’t take you too long to cum with the way you moan like that, right babe?”
“Johnny…”
You were a whiny mess at this point, humping his leg to reach your high. He was nice enough to help you, his hands guiding you as you mess up all over him, lips stuck on the patch of skin right under your ear.
“You know, I kind of miss you calling me Mr. Suh.” he whispers as he’s sucking on your neck, and you shiver at the tone of his voice, “What do I have to do next time you come over to have you call me like that?”
You can’t contain your whimpers anymore, the stinging tears of arousal threatening to roll down your face, so you close your eyes to keep the moisture in. Everything is just too much, the pleasure of your clit rubbing on him, his nails that dig in the flesh of your hips, the heavy suggestions in his words; your orgasm was hanging by a thread and it was a matter of seconds for it to snap. And it did snap, with a bite on your neck, and along with it your eyes snapped open as well.
Donghyuck was staring right back at you.
Your eyes crossed in pleasure, blurry vision making it hard to focus on him. You were falling apart over Johnny’s body, legs shaking and insides melting with his praise. Donghyuck took the sight in from the opened door, eyes studying your face of pleasure and bare chest decorated with Johnny’s kisses peeking from his own shirt. You’d be lying had you dismissed the fact that his presence intensified your orgasm times a hundred. The exposure of your act, the naughtiness of getting caught and by him of all people. You watched as he retreated outside from the office with silent steps, to give you privacy or recover from the embarrassment or both.
And Donghyuck would be lying too, had he said he didn’t like the sight. The mere memory of your face all fucked out flushed his own in crimson red. He remembered it all clearly, from your plush lips to Johnny’s mess of a hair, to the tremble of your body. It refused to leave his mind, the scene of you getting satisfaction from another man, but not because he wanted to erase it. He thought he fit right in, right in that scene between you and his boss.  
You texted him later that day, apologizing for what he had to witness and promising him you would return the shirt as soon as you washed it. He politely allowed you to keep it, not at all acknowledging the incident from earlier, nor the night you spent together. You didn’t have the guts to ask, for you didn’t know that Donghyuck didn’t regard last night as a mistake, like you thought. He was tired of boiling in the guilt of his feelings, selfishly admitting to himself that he did not regret a single thing. He was into you, he meant every word that came out of his mouth, so why was he avoiding you all day yesterday? He was still the fucking coward.
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The next day came rolling along, and with it came a long list of things you wanted to avoid. The first one was arguably dealing with your best friend, the lengthy paperwork you had to fill out being a close second.  
Your mind was occupied with a plethora of thoughts, with Johnny holding the main spot. You’d seen him in your sleep last night, starring in the extremely detailed wet dream your brain fabricated for you, hot breaths and deep thrusts forcing you into the disappointing consciousness of today’s morning.
And the pictures he had sent you right after you decided to get up weren’t helping either. His tall, half naked build occupied most of the shot, skin glistening in the after-shower steam. His toothbrush was hanging from his foamy mouth, in an attempt to make the picture look nonchalant, yet you knew his motives. You let your eyes drink up the sight of his defined abdomen, then moved downwards along the dark happy trail that peeked from the towel, loosely hanging from his waist. Hip bones teasing you and all. Just drop the fucking towel Johnny.
Needless to say, you were a mess when you arrived at the office. The cats in heat outside of your window, the phallic shaped baguette your baker generously treated you with this morning; everything seemed to remind you of the heat between your legs that you couldn’t bring yourself to ignore. You tried rubbing your thighs, drowning in the paperwork, even locking your phone in one of your drawers so as not to be tempted to look at Johnny’s thirst trap again. But he had won.
You grab a bunch of documents that seemed important enough, shove them in your favourite binder, and make your way to Johnny’s office upstairs. 
You knew you had to deal with Donghyuck. It was the unavoidable repercussion of messing up your life like that, getting men that were too good looking for this boring ass company tangled up in what seemed to be a simple internship. Taking a deep breath, then two more for good measure, you start to strut confidently in a straight line that led to Johnny’s office door.
“He’s on call, come back later.”
Your head instinctively turns to the source of the sound, to find Donghyuck staring at the display of his laptop that seemed to be much more interesting than you. The matter-of-fact way he formed his sentences was not unlike him, yet something in you begged for a little bit of attention. Blame it on how horny you’ve been all morning, or the fact that now that you’ve seen him naked, the strict tone affects you much more than it should.
Bothered by your thoughts and thinking about having to sit back at your office for the rest of the work day, you let the binder slip from your hands and drop on the wooden floor. You lean down to collect the scattered pieces of paper, your heels making it hard for you to keep your balance easily, and soon enough you sense a movement from behind you.
“No panties huh?”
It was supposed to be a surprise. Payback for the dirty thoughts Johnny planted in your head this morning. You’d walk in all innocently, sit right across his desk and give him a little Basic Instinct Sharon Stone moment. Then leave him high and dry again, while mentally keeping a note to clear out all your plans for the weekend. But see, he couldn’t give you what you wanted after all, and your resolve started to break. Whatever it was you wanted, you wanted it now.
You get up, unfolding your body slowly and refusing to look at Donghyuck, much like he did when you walked inside. The smirk playing on your lips couldn’t be concealed through your voice.
“Like what you see?”
You gasp as he presses up against you, the only contact you have with one another being his hard-on that nudges your ass. Following your body’s orders, you push back against him too, and you can tell the breath he lets out is ragged and full of tension.
He reaches for your binder with an arm around you, flipping through the pages as he sucks his teeth in disapproval.
“These are last week’s reports. Are you really here for these or are you looking for another quickie with Johnny?” A moan escapes you then, and the little thrust that Donghyuck allows himself drives you both crazy. “Thought so. How insatiable are you? I made you cum two nights ago, Johnny helped you out yesterday. If you really are that desperate you could’ve just come to me for help, doll”
His soft palm rests on the front of your thigh, slowly sliding his way under your skirt. You squirm in his hold in anticipation, and you have to bite your tongue to hold in the noises that threaten to leave you. 
“Donghyuck, Johnny is sitting right through that door. He could come out any minute now and see us”
“And?”
“Your boss is sitting right through that door. You could get fired”
“I could die after this”
His thumb ficks your clit swiftly, and Donghyuck takes this opportunity to slip his other one inside your gaping mouth.
“But-“
“Shh. Don’t talk with your mouth full, baby”
You’re melting in his hold at this point, your back still resting against his chest, lips sucking his digit. The scent of his cologne that you’ve grown so familiar with overwhelms you, painting all your surroundings in a red tint of lust.
“Spread your legs for me”. You oblige with his orders immediately, your arousal not allowing you to keep him waiting. “Wider”.
You take a quick look behind your shoulder to check that the door is still, indeed, closed, only to be met face to face with Donghyuck. His breath is hot against your face, eyes locked on his thumb toying with your lower lip and you completely forget what you initially turned around for. The kiss was natural, your lips melding easily with his ones. The need for him washes over you like a heatwave and you lift your skirt to urge him to continue before you go insane. 
He gets the hint and moves his hand lower, middle finger tracing your opening ever so slightly. It makes you shiver and you realise how quiet the room has fallen, the only source of sound coming muffled through the closed door to Johnny’s office. It excites you and it must show through the wetness between your lower lips, and Donghyuck patiently collects it all. He transfers the moisture over the bud of your clit, his finger smoothly massaging the sensitive skin. It feels divine and there’s no way you’d ask him to stop yet you know there’s something else Donghyuck is after, the sweet tightness that he didn’t get to experience that night at his apartment.
It was a bit much to fuck you out there like that, even for his exhibitionistic tendencies, but nothing could stop him from feeling the next best thing. 
His first finger enters you unhurriedly, careful of your reactions. You moan out his name and he moans at how tight you are, soft pussy practically sucking his finger in. He soon enters his ring finger as well, slowly moving them inside you until you feel every stretch and curl. Your wetness starts to drip at this point, coating his fingers with your juices.
“Such a dirty girl, making all this mess at my office”
The leisure pace ruins you, your eyes shut close in search of patience. You feel his other palm move from under your skirt as well, resting flat against your lower abdomen. He wants to feel himself inside you.
“Donghyuck, please. More”
A chuckle is heard from your left ear, and you can vividly imagine how his face must look like now. The cocky smirk, the tongue poking the inside of his cheek. The next pump has you muffling your whimpers with the back of your fist, his fingers curling just right and fucking straight into your g-spot. 
“More? Look at you. Pretty slut.” 
He’s full on finger fucking you now, and swallowing your moans is gradually becoming more and more difficult. The world crumbles from under your feet and you let yourself get carried away in the intense pleasure, the fast pumping making your legs shake.
“You’re gonna cum?”, he whispers again, and you can only respond with a nod, “That’s my fucking girl”
The orgasm’s intense, shaking you as you bite your hand and hold onto Donghyuck for extra support. He continues to move his fingers afterwards, drawing out your euphoria for as long as he can, then finally leaves you empty once your moans have died down. You immediately cover yourself up again once you sober up from your high, suddenly embarrassed by Donghyuck’s intense stare. He’s moving his eyes through all the features of your face, only for them to fall frozen on your lips, and lifts his hand up to rest his two fingers over them. You get his initiative and put them in your mouth, tasting yourself on your tongue.
“Unless you want us both to get fired I think you should go back to your office. I don’t think I can contain myself around you”
You release his digits with a pop, your eyes full of seduction.  
“What would you do to me?”
Donghyuck growls at your question, turning you around so that you’re fully face to face and chest to chest. 
“You’d look so pretty on your knees, mouth full of cock”. He grabs a handful of your ass, bringing you flush against him and proceeds to grind his painfully hard dick between your thighs. Your noses touch and you feel dizzy at the proximity; the words he mutters against your cum coated lips. “I’d peel those clothes off of you, find the nearest mirror. Stretch you out against the glass so that you see how good you take it.”
You shiver as a response, then force yourself to put some distance between you before you do something stupid. He kindly helps you collect your things in silence, those useless documents that were laying scattered on the floor, and in a moment of weakness you let him pin you against the wall right before you go.There was something so addictive about him and your chemistry, and your lips burn at the memory of his kisses. You’re not sure how much longer you can contain that hunger anymore.
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The end of a shift and the beginning of another overtime. It felt like deja vu at this point, after all the countless extra hours you’ve put into the internship, seeing people grab their briefcases and their car keys as they empty the space around you. You take a moment to appreciate the view of the setting sun from the small window of your office, inhaling deeply as you wrap the hair that’s been bothering you in a ponytail. Your neck hurts and the tension of your body is translating into a dull pain, so you stretch it a little, bobbing your head from side to side.
You jump a little in your seat when you feel a set of hands on your shoulder blades. They massage the sore spots, treating the muscle knots and helping your blood flow freely. It was obvious Donghyuck didn’t have enough of you earlier, and you pout at having to turn down another visit to his apartment because of your overtime duties. 
You were ready to scold him off, tell him you’re busy and that you promise to make it up for him another time, when you feel his soft lips kissing the most sensitive spot on the slope of your neck. You let out a long sigh, subconsciously exposing your neck more for him, and a high pitched whine rumbles in your chest. It’s released as a moan of Donghyuck’s name.
“Donghyuck?!”
You freeze in the uncomfortable arch, your ears confused by the deepness of the voice belonging to the man behind you. Not even the confusion laced in it can cover up the lack of airiness and clarity you’re used to when it comes to Donghyuck’s tone. It’s Johnny.
“I… We-“
You’re left speechless, clueless as to what to say next. You know you don’t have to explain yourself, it’s not like you and Johnny are exclusive. Yet his shocked face at the sound of his assistant’s name coming so lewdly off your lips has your brain scrambling to find some sort of explanation. Thankfully, he’d interrupt your panic in a second.
“The big boss wants you upstairs. I offered to come get you.”
He doesn’t sound angry or upset, nor disappointed. It’s a fresh air of relief before you realize that this is not what you should worry about right now. What the hell does the CEO of the company want to talk to you about? Are you getting the boot? It must be it, but why? Your numbers have been great, you’re always on time - except that one morning, but technically it was Donghyuck’s fault - and you’ve been praised by your supervisor numerous times during your internship.
Unless- What if there’s cameras in the office? 
You start to panic at the thought of an involuntary sex tape become the cause of your dismissal, so caught up in your thoughts that you’re completely unaware you’ve spent the entire trip up the stairs with Johnny in silence. When you enter the CEO’s office, heartbeat echoing loudly in your ears, you notice that all of the department’s supervisors are present in the impromptu meeting as well. You sit next to Johnny, in an attempt to calm yourself down, and you see the head of your department send you an encouraging smile.
“Shall we start?”
A briefing of your work in the company ensued, numbers and graphs that wouldn’t make sense to anyone other than the people in the room. Thirty minutes have passed and no surveillance tape has been whipped out, turning you more confused than ever. The numbers were good, the words from your supervisor are complimentary, so why would they fire you? 
“That is all for the briefing. After seeing your progress and the contribution you’ve made to the company, we’ve decided to offer you a permanent position, if you’d be interested of course”
Oh my god. You can’t believe this day finally came. Your face was glowing, and you tried to convince yourself to stay calm while you talked about your new position and the raise in salary that came with it. With shaky hands you sign the documents, and your boss congratulates you once again, dismissing you off your overtime. 
You waited for everyone to leave the hallway before jumping in Johnny’s arms. He caught you easily, strong build supporting you and lifting your feet off the ground before landing you safely again.
“Good job intern, I’m so proud of you”
“Hey, I’m not an intern anymore!”, you complain by bumping his chest with your fist and he pats your head lovingly in return.
“Why did you have to be in the room as well? Did you know about my promotion?”
“No, actually, they just told me an hour ago. It was hard to keep myself from telling you everything right away.”
The excitement coursed through you, and a sudden urge to kiss him until your lips were numb overwhelmed you. You were ready to turn your thoughts into reality, when you saw Donghyuck from the corner of your eye, instinctively smiling at your obvious happiness.
“What’s the occasion?”
“I got promoted!”
Donghyuck gasped, a huge smile spreading across his face. Your excitement’s contentious so he tackles you without a second thought, his embrace so tight that you can barely breathe. You can see that he’s trying his best to contain a kiss, his glance moving back and forth between you and Johnny. He still kept a possessive hand around your waist once he let you down however, a gesture that could seem innocent yet you knew better.
Johnny smirks at the sight of you two, confidence dripping off his body and making you shiver. You get dizzy at the thought of Donghyuck not knowing that Johnny knows about you, yet Donghyuck knowing about Johnny but not giving a fuck.
“So how do we celebrate?”, the older man asks, with a playful tone that might as well be your active imagination.
“Wanna go for a drink?”, Donghyuck suggests, boldly keeping his eyes at you only while he does so.
You pout in thought, humming pensively when an idea pops into your head. 
“How about you come over my place for one?”
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You should have thought this through more thoroughly, is all you can think about as you’re trapped between Johnny and Hyuck on your couch. Well, not really- there is a sizable distance between you three, yet the atmosphere in the room is so dense it’s nearly palpable. Three glasses, half-full of the alcohol of their choice are sitting on the coffee table in front of you, and you awkwardly stare at the sweat that falls from your glass and forms rings on the wooden surface. 
Your body has loosened up from your drink yet your heart can’t stop racing, not when Donghyuck is looking at you like that. He looks like a man starved for days while you’re the meal presented deliciously in his arm’s reach, and he can’t wait to have you alone and curve his growing appetite. And you ignore Johnny’s cheeky smiles and flirtatious winks as well, carrying on a conversation that doesn’t belong in the inescapable tone of the room but flows easily, until it ends and you’re met with heavy silence and the ticking analog clock on your wall again.
You ask them if they would like some water, getting up before you receive an answer, and you yelp a little when you feel a strong arm halting your trip to the kitchen before it even started. You lose your balance and wobble a little in your spot before unceremoniously landing on Johnny’s lap.
He doesn’t help you up, but loops and arm around your waist instead, holding you in place. In circumstances other than the ones that have already made their mark on your sexual history, staying in this position with his assistant still in the room would be highly inappropriate.
“You’re all we need”, he reassures you with a voice made of silk, then repositions you with a jerk of his knee, your heat grinding right against his half hard member.
“When were you gonna tell me?”
You open and close your mouth sequentially like a fish out of water, choking out a reply after the insistent tick-tock that resonates through the room and gives a tempo to your anxiety.
“I’m sorry?”
“You know what I’m talking about. A little birdy told me I’m not the only one enjoying this perfect little body. Is that right Donghyuck?”
Donghyuck’s eyes bulged out of his skull, almost choking in the sip of the drink he was enjoying when the unexpected question hit him. Sizzling heat floods your face as he stares at you sternly, and you shake your head defensively.
“I didn’t tell him-“
“Well no, not exactly”, Johnny interrupts and places his big hands over your thighs, “I was just kissing her neck, trying to get her to relax, and lo and behold, she starts moaning your name like its a fucking reflex. You’ve really gotten into her head, apparently”
Donghyuck swells up in pride, that much is evident, yet he’s way too distracted to say anything in response, too busy staring at Johnny’s fingers spreading your thighs apart to expose your damp underwear. Johnny’s lips are planted on your neck, teeth nibbling on your earlobe and you wince when you feel the sharp sting of a slap on your inner thigh.
“You aren’t being a good hostess, baby. Open up your legs more, let Hyuck see your pretty pussy. You remember what word to say when you want me to stop, right?” You whimper the designated safe word while opening your thighs further, digging the heels of your feet in the couch’s pillows. “Good girl”
He dips a hand through the band of your underwear, busying his fingers under the fabric. You moan as they slide through the wetness and he smiles a cocky smile when he sees Donghyuck palming himself through his slacks. He removes the skimpy thong with the help of your hips moving to assist him, to then push the fabric inside your mouth with little to no resistance from you.
“Isn’t this pussy divine? I swear when I bottomed out inside of her the first time I thought I lost my damn mind”
He toys with your opening, only dipping half a finger in to challenge Donghyuck to pay attention.
“We haven’t actually…”
“She only let you play with her?”, Johnny teases him, then pushes his point and middle finger all the way inside you, making his assistant’s imagination run wild at what your pussy must feel like sucking him in. “You’re missing out man”
“I’ve made her cum probably twice as many times as you’ve ever have”
You chuckle at his smart remark and Johnny glares at you, softly slapping your pussy to keep you at bay.
“No one addressed you. You’ll get to make all the noise you want in a sec, baby”
You squirm in place, letting out a muffled apology through your gag and Donghyuck looks seriously affected by the sight.
“Isn’t she obedient?”, Johnny asks while grazing your g-spot, and you moan from both the praise and the stimulation.
Hyuck unbuttons his pants at the lewd sound, pulling his dick from the slit of his boxers and you admire his impressive girth. He lets his body decline comfortably on the pillows behind him, spreading his own legs at shoulder-length. The mouth-watering sight of him jerking himself slowly with the aid of his precum clouds your vision; you’re just as needy for him as he is for you.
“She’s a little brat”
“I guess I know how to make her listen”. Johnny lifts your dress over your hips, then helps you off of it through the hem. With a rehearsed flick of his fingers he discards your bra as well, leaving you completely naked for Donghyuck’s eyes to feast on. His hands immediately grope your breasts, playing with the mounds and putting on a show. “I could undress you over and over and over again”
You feel his fingers retract from inside your pussy to form a ‘V’ over your lower lips, making your hole even more visible along with the wetness that’s dripping out of it.
“Will you let Donghyuck use your pussy baby? I feel a little greedy using it all on my own”
You groan in the anticipation and let your head fall back on Johnny’s shoulder, nodding pathetically and mumbling through your thong.
“Oh god, yes, yes, yes”
Donghyuck has heard enough, and with Johnny urging him on he’s standing half naked in front of you in seconds. His boxers are discarded next to his trousers on the floor, tie hanging loosely from the collar. He still has a hand wrapped around his angry sex, red tip and veiny details making you swoon.
“Go on”, Johnny encourages him, “she’s more than wet enough”
Donghyuck rests his left knee on the cushion of the couch, right between your foot and Johnny’s thigh. A little foiled square is getting ripped by his nimble fingers and you bewitchedly watch him wrap up his cock. He slaps it over your entrance a couple times, coming in contact with the other man’s fingers that are still keeping you fully exposed, then finally thrusts himself inside you. A conglomerate of what seems like three different curses leave his lips, eyebrows furrowed in a pleasureful expression.
“Fuck”
“Tight, isn’t she?”
“So fucking tight baby, damn”
Johnny may have a cock so lengthy that most men are envious of, yet Donghyuck’s girth is really something else. It stretches you out more than you've had in months, dull pain getting numb with every release of serotonin from your brain. You almost cry when he removes the entire thing out of you.
“I have to feel that again”
And indeed he does, submerging himself in the tightness of your walls only his fingers had the privilege of experiencing thus far. You feel amazing wrapped up around him, pussy hot and burning in desire as he dips himself further inside you, pushing you up against Johnny’s chest. You hiss in the sting and whimper softly, prompting the man behind you to ungag you finally.
“What is it baby? Hyuckie’s dick is too big for your tight little hole?”
You nod affirmatively while keeping eye contact with the man mentioned, big glossy eyes awakening something dark inside him. He wants to ruin you.
“Maybe you don’t fuck her hard enough”
You can’t see Johnny from the way you’re seated but you know he must have a smile on his face, well aware of the confidence he possesses for his own abilities in the bedroom. His big hands leave your labia and make their way over to your calves, bending you in a way that is almost painful.
“How about you show me how it’s done, then?”
Donghyuck is always up for a challenge, so he wraps a hand loosely around your throat so as to gain leverage. He pulls his hips backwards, gaining momentum, then slaps them forcefully against your own. You moan loudly at the depth, hands scrambling to find something to hold on to as he’s nailing you against the couch. Johnny’s there to catch your sounds with his lips, eating them up eagerly as he slips his tongue inside you and continues to play with your nipples. 
“Is that hard enough for you?”
Continuing his brutal pace restlessly, Donghyuck tightens his grasp around your neck, enough to hamper your blood flow and drool around the other man’s mouth. You’re so out of it at this point, dirty sound after another leaving your lips and you gasp at Johnny’s fingers that are suddenly circling around your clit.
“I’m close, please”, you manage to whimper from between them, Hyuck’s pace only fastening in the sound of your plea. The tip of his cock, thick like the rest of him, grazes against your sensitive spot again and again, not missing a single thrust. He digs a thumb in the softness of your cheek, pulling you away from Johnny and connecting his forehead with yours. By the sounds of his grunts it won’t take long until he comes as well.
“Made just for me”, he whispers against your lips, and you gasp when you feel the heat overflowing in your sex area, vision blurry as you let go and scream in complete pleasure. Donghyuck basks in the confirmation of how good he’s made you feel, hips stuttering as he empties his cum in you and inside the condom. His thigh muscles may be contracting in tiredness yet he doesn’t halt his movements, milking your orgasm for all its worth. You’re basically putty in Johnny’s lap at this point, sex drunk and high from your release.  
“Not bad”, he admits, even though he had some credit to claim with the fast fingerwork he showed earlier. He holds your thighs again, closing them up to help you relax and you wince at the pain in your haunch, the result of staying in a flexibility-demanding position for so long.
You wait until your heartbeat slows down, turning around to face Johnny as Donghyuck ties up and discards the used condom. He sends you a warm smile, petting the messy hair out of your line of sight and you relax in the feeling of safety, batting your eyes up at him cutely.
“What about you?”, you practically meow, moaning softly as you feel his boner twitching from beneath his trousers.
“What about me? Didn’t you have enough?” 
He knows your appetite, knows there’s no way you’d be satisfied by one round only. And how could you, when he sits so deliciously from under you, his big body reeling you in. You know what he wants to hear.
“Please, Johnny”, you plead, playing with the thin tie still neatly keeping his shirt in place. “I need you”
“You need what?”, he growls against your lips, trying to coax as much desperation out of you as possible.
“I need your big cock inside me, please”
“Ass up”
You get up from your seat, complying with his commands and getting on your knees before your tired legs betray you and leave you a mess on the floor.  His hands cup your ass in admiration, giving it a little spank before he slides them over your dorsals. A careful push forces you to arch your back even more, and your cheeks burn at the eager position he has bent you in. You shiver when his cock enters you halfway.
“You’re still not used to me babe?”
“It’s not my fault that you’re so fucking big, Johnny”
“Then maybe I should stay still? Since you can’t take it?”
“No!”, you oppose, tears of frustration threatening to spill out of their ducts, “I can take it, just move!”
You howl as he bottoms out, his long length making you lose your mind. It’s been a while since you’ve had anything more than his fingers and you’ve missed the way he fits inside of you. You hear shuffling from behind you and soon he’s bending over you, wrapping his tie around your neck. With a pull you’re flush against his chest again, and the buttons of his shirt are already leaving little indentations on your skin. You wish it bruises.
“Do you remember what I wanted you to call me the other day?”, he whispers next to the shell of your ear, dark tone sending shivers down your spine.
“Mr. Suh”
“Exactly. Now will you let me fuck you the way I want?”
“Yes sir”
“What a good girl”
Johnny slams into you fully, every pull of his hips resulting in the restriction of your airflow. A game of wanting more of him and sacrificing your oxygen for it begins, and it doesn’t take long for you to turn completely into a submissive mess for him. He’s whispering filth in your ears, hips keeping their inhuman tempo until you’re all out of energy and fall nonvocal. Donghyuck gets hard again at the sight.
It doesn’t go unnoticed by Johnny, who is more than willing to share your body for the pleasure he’s after- at least part of it. He waits until the younger man’s dick is fully solid in his grasp, standing tall and red right in front of you and he lets go of the constraint of your neck without notice.
You fall face first on Donghyuck’s thick thighs, his quick reflexes catching you from a harder impact. His member is twitching right next to your face, tip grazing against your left temple and he helps your head up by wrapping your hair in a makeshift ponytail that his fingers hold together. You wrap your lips around his tip obediently, twirling your tongue around his member until you reach his hairy base. He tastes a bit rubbery from the condom earlier but you choose to ignore it, focusing on hollowing your cheeks around him instead.
Every hard thrust of Johnny’s propels you forward onto Donghyuck’s cock, the bobbing motion natural yet you struggle to take them both inside you. Donghyuck enjoys the vibrations of the moans you make when the other man hits a deep spot in your pussy, Johnny groans when you clench around him as Donghyuck abuses your throat. It’s a give and take of intense pleasure and you know you can’t take much more, the men’s moans growing louder with every thrust. 
“Do you like Hyuck’s cock needy baby? Have you finally had enough?”
He punctuates each word with a slam, one harder than the other, and the rope inside your belly snaps with the arrival of your second orgasm. You try your hardest to stay in place, beg your thighs not to let you collapse as you let Johnny drive you into overstimuation.
“Yes, sir. I love it”
Johnny grunts at the sound of his title, so dirty coming muffled by another man’s dick that it’s enough to send him over the edge. You feel the hot cum filling up the condom inside you, and his spurts take so long that the little tweaks coax another orgasm from you.
Donghyuck drinks up the scene unveiling in front of him, a steady hand forcing your jaw open as he starts to jerk off quickly over your face.
“I want to see your tongue covered in my cum”
You lick your lips seductively in response, opening your mouth up to welcome his ropes of white liquid that leave his slit a second after. They fill your mouth little by little, painting the inside of it and you hold your tongue out to show him his creation, a couple of drops dripping from the corners before you swallow as much as you can. He collects whatever’s left on your jaw, pushing it in and letting you suckle on his thumb dumbly before letting go.
You collapse on the couch, exhausted after giving all that your body could handle after a work day, and you sit in silence as Johnny massages your feet and Donghyuck kisses your neck to calm you down. Your head hurts from the sex and the possibilities that this new combination can bring to your love life, belly tingling in excitement at the same time. You don’t know where this will lead, or when will be the next time you’ll indulge in the company of the both of them stuck on your body. All that you know is that this promotion, at least the celebration of it, tastes really, really sweet. 
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thank you for reading ❤ feedback is much appreciated! If you liked Promotion you can check out Work for it to see where it all started! :) 
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kannra21 · 4 years ago
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Sniperhaul fanfic
ˡᵐᵃᵒ ᶦ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉˡᶦᵉᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦ'ᵐ ᵈᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ
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Overhoe finally broke out of Tartarus after a very long time. However, he couldn't have done it without the help of a certain villain mistress. 😏 Who's she and why did she choose to help this terrible (x2) man? Find out bellow.
characters: overhaul (chisaki kai) x sniper lady
word count: 3k
warnings: angst, past memories, handless overhaul, hurt, comfort, gangs, yakuza, just girl taking care of her mans
notes: I'd like to thank the person responsible for proofreading this work bc I'm supposed to keep their identity a secret. 😎 Thank you once again! And of course, the manga and characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. @meefal you were excited to see the final product so here you go, hope you like it. 🖤
✂-------------------------------------------------------
Overhaul couldn't remember how long he'd been there, he'd lost count weeks ago. The only thing he knew was that he was in "Tartarus", a prison located 5km off the coast of the Mainland. It may function like a conventional prison, but in reality, those who're deemed a severe threat toward the safety of the nation were locked up and monitored closely, regardless of whether their sentence has been decided on yet. The facility was divided into 6 levels, where the potential threat level of criminals was deemed "higher" the further underground you go. It's a prison where, once you enter, there's no chance of leaving.
He sat there in his cell, B10 being the lowest level in solitary confinement. It was too cold for his head to function and too dark for his eyes to see, with the small window above the prison doors being his only source of light. There was also an opening where prisoners received their meals, but considering that he lost his hands, the guards could easily enter without worrying too much for their well-being. They'd leave whatever they offered that day and give him a disgusted look before locking the doors after themselves. He couldn't see his reflection nor touch his face, he probably looked like crap by now. His skin was itching and he felt disoriented from all the germs occupying this space, it's been a while since he's gone out for some fresh air. 
He was practically Quirkless and yet they locked him out in the worst, most dreadful place the isolation block had to offer. He couldn't even feed himself properly, he couldn't do anything by himself whatsoever. But there was only one thing left to him; he spent days and days thinking about pops, Chrono, yakuza and everything he could have if it weren't for those stupid heroes-- no, if it weren't for his plan that so grandiosely failed. It made him feel miserable, desperate even, and with grief soon followed acceptance. It was all his fault, and he needed to live with this burden for the rest of his life. Because of him, pops is still handicapped to the bed somewhere, wherever the heroes might have taken him. 
He stood up and started beating the cell with his leg, curing his frustrations. He didn't know why he was doing it, it was irrational and he's hurting himself unnecessarily, but for some reason it made him feel lighter. At least he could transfer some of his inner pain to the outside world. Other criminals laughed at his patheticness, especially since they knew why the guards were allowed to enter his cell. They shouted that it was impossible to escape, but he wasn't trying to. He knew that it was useless a long time ago. 
Midnight came and all the prisoners mostly fell asleep. Overhaul, however, couldn't sleep a wink. Because of the dark room he spent most of his days in, he lost his sense of time so he was pacing around, deep in thought. He couldn't dream of anything nice anyways. 
"Can't fall asleep either?" a feminine voice could be heard from the other side. Wait. They allowed women here? What could she have possibly done to deserve such punishment? 
He leaned his back on the doors and slid down to the floor, trying to find the right words.
"Yes." he sighed, enthusiasm lacking in his voice "But it's not like I need you to talk about my problems." 
"Hm, whatever. Go beat your head against the bars. Fall unconscious, loser."
The man snorted, which might as well be his first time he ever did that. 
"Well, this certainly sounds effective. It's not like I have anything to lose anyways." 
"Hey." the tone of her voice was earnest, and it aroused further questions in his jumbled up head. 
"What?"
"We're going to get out of here." 
Is she being serious now? "Really? Because as far as I know, we're locked out here for good. We don't even know the severity of our sentences. They can do whatever they want with us."
"Not quite. You know that they're being supervised by 'The Hearts and Mind' party offshoots. They can’t do a thing to us as long as they have their heads to the pikes." 
This might be true, but he didn't believe in anything the government's been telling them lately. It's only a matter of time before they switch their plans and play by their own rules, because stabbing people in the back was the only thing they've ever been good at. 
"How did you end up here?" 
Oh the long-awaited question. She wondered when he'd ask. 
"It's not like I need you to talk about my problems."
He smiled, he liked this vicious side of hers. But he also realized that she could be nice as well because if that wasn't the case, she wouldn't spread promises of the escape. At least that's what he thought. 
"Sorry about that." 
"It's okay. We've all been here for a very long time, now weren't we? We lose our cool and act like total assholes."
"Direct and straight to the point I see." his deadpan voice could be heard from the other side of the bars. 
"'Been raised this way, for the better or worse." it didn't sound like she was bragging, yet it felt like she was just talking about herself, honest and confident, to cover up what she felt was wrong. The incoming topic which she'd rather avoid. 
The villainess didn't want to open up about her past, so she just answered his question. 
"I killed people beyond counting, following AFO's orders. He always wished to become the world's greatest demon lord and thus promised us enormous change in the hero society. So in order to achieve that, he needed his underlings. And that's how I ended up here."
"You were loyal till the end."
"You know what they say; there can be no progress nor achievement without certain sacrifice."
Wise beyond her years and just as sad. He wondered how her face looked like, how the world's been treating her. 
"I had my own sacrifices as well."
"Do you regret them?"
...
"I do." 
Now it was her turn to snort "Really? And I thought that people situated this low couldn't have regrets. You remember what they said about us. 'Beasts in human clothing', 'Simply dreadful beings'." 
He felt insulted, maybe the things she said were true but it's not like he was anything similar to these pigs he shared the same air with, unfortunately.
"I regret hurting the person important to me. The old man who once took me in when I was very young. He was the infamous boss of Shie Hassaikai." 
Something clicked in her, it's such a small world they're living in, "Yakuza? I know you guys. We used to trade with you back in the days."
"Todou Gang?" 
"You said it."
"But... you were a force to be reckoned with. One day you just collapsed and not a single trace could be found. According to certain sources, there was no way anyone could determine the exact cause of your downfall. So what happened?" 
"I killed them all." 
... 
"AFO told me to kill them to prove my loyalty to him and, of course, to make sure that there was no one I could turn to other than himself." 
For some questionable reasons, and he didn't dare to admit that it was empathy he felt towards a random stranger and a former gang member he shared some history with, Overhaul wanted to fill the silence that lingered between them. Perhaps, because he felt guilty for making her reveal more than what she initially intended. 
"I used pops' niece, a 6-year-old girl who had an extraordinary Quirk; it allowed her to rewind a person's body back to a certain state. That means she could put a body back to before it was injured or before the person even developed a Quirk. With that, I wanted to create a Quirk-erasing drug to get rid of the Quirk society altogether and to make sure that yakuza could rise once again. I cut her skin every day to take blood samples and to test her regenerative abilities. However, pops didn't approve of it, so I handicapped him to the bed and planned on waking him up the moment I realized my plan, to make him proud of the achievement. Unfortunately, it didn't play out as I wanted and I never reached him."
The silence followed and the woman wore a disheartening smile on her face. It's not the answer she expected, she didn't ask for another sad story from another messed up person she's met in her life. But the intentions were pure and for her, it was good enough. 
"We both fought for something only to lose it all, huh?" she laughed, but it was prominent in her tone that it was bittersweet. 
"At least you're brought here in one piece." 
"At least you can still revive your parent."
Were they comforting each other? Were they jealous of each other? Were they wallowing in self-pity? They couldn't tell. The only thing they certainly could was the embarrassment they felt from the moment they realized that some of the prisoners were eavesdropping and making fun of their vulnerabilities. See? That's what they hated the most about opening up about themselves; they were worried about their feelings being perceived as a joke. The only way to protect themselves was to rise up the walls and never let anyone get closer, except they didn't regret exchanging a word or two, as long as it was the two of them. 
The next day, 8:34PM Mainland-side entrance, the guardians of 'The Bronze Gate' announced a code red security lockdown. Panic and shouting could be heard from across the hall and the security alarm announced the potential danger. 
"Close any and all passageways on each floor. All workers are to enforce strict measures to maintain order."
"The surveillance system is down! It seems like we've been hit by some sort of EMP attack!"
Static waves were spreading around the metal frames and the prison doors of the isolation block unlocked. Overhaul could hear the commotion outside and the villains leaving their cells in a hurry, but as much as he tried, he couldn't push the heavy doors open.
"3 seconds until we're back online- wait... What the... With the system down we can't monitor the inside!"
"Nice, 3 seconds be damned." he beat the door with his legs, pushed the surface with his shoulders, leaned all of his weight on the godforsaken thing just so it could finally open. Nothing. It seems like he lost a couple of pounds during his stay here. He couldn't believe his eyes, this couldn't be happening to him. After all this time of patient waiting and hoping to meet pops once again, it turns out he'd be the only one still trapped and all because he didn't have any hands. He panicked, he really couldn't decide on what to do next. But then he remembered-
"Go beat your head against the bars, loser."
That's it! This might be his only chance to escape! He didn't have much time left though, he could hear the shooting nearby so he definitely needed to hurry.
"The system won't come back on!! The ones in solitary confinement are breaking out!! Inside!"
"Control unit's on site!! Execute lockdown in the isolation block!"
"Follow procedure! If even one of them steps a foot outside their cell-"
"Fire!! Open fire!!"
Muscular threw whatever he could find in this messed up place back at them, excitement prominent in his big smile "You ain't gonna kill me with those puny toys! So how about you show me the exit already?!" 
Other villains were joining him, still overwhelmed by the sudden freedom they've been given "Dammit... After all that time..."
"Meat..." Moonfish mumbled as he cut his opponents with his blade-like teeth. 
The villain lady joined them in the run, still carefully examining her surroundings in case they were tricked into something, "The system isn't responding to my Quirk. 'Guess Tartarus really is falling." 
As she was running down the corridor, she could hear beating noises coming from one of the doors. It sounded dull so the person must have been using their head. 
"Eh, don't tell me the idiot actually listened to my advice. He must be desperate." 
She came to the doors and turned the circular lock in a hurry. She really didn't want to stay in this place any longer, but she couldn't leave him behind either. It's not like she could use him for anything since he was basically handless and Quirkless so why was she doing it? She didn't have an answer. Maybe it was their talk from the other day, maybe because they were both gang members with a history, maybe because of her regrets and her wish to do something right for once. Or maybe because she was just this kind. Nah, this couldn't be it, she never did anything in her life that didn't require a certain purpose. She cast her heart aside a long time ago and did what was necessary for the accomplishment of the mission. It would be weird if she suddenly started using her heart again, now wouldn't it? She was AFO's personal assassin, there was simply no way. 
He came out of the room with eyes wide in puzzlement. He was finally free and ready to find pops so he could possibly revive him and try to fix things as much as he could.
They looked at each other for the first time. They never said it aloud, godforbid, but they liked the other's eyes. And perhaps the eyes were a window to a person's soul, their broken souls, tormented by the life's temptations. They were still so young, probably in their twenties, and yet they looked older at the same time. Maybe because of the seriousness in their faces, their stronger stance, the way they defied their fate. They were destined to fall apart, no one would argue with it, but circumstances drove them to take action and rise from the bottomless chasm. And now they had each other. 
"We need to get out of here," she stated and pulled him by the sleeve that hung loosely from his shoulder. They escaped Tartarus and raided a small shop near the coast to change clothes and to mingle into the public unnoticed. She quickly picked out a dress and threw herself at work while Overhaul was still standing by the shop display, looking out for the potential intruders.
He couldn't erase the thought of this being some sort of a really weird first date; the girl coming out of the stall and the guy examining her looks. He shook his head, he never had this kind of thoughts in his entire life. He needed to pull himself together. 
The bob-hair came out and adjusted the ammo on her utility belt. He looked at her from the corner and she was stunning; intimidating with a tad bit of femininity in design. He stood there and watched how good it fit her curvy form. The thoughts wandering in his head sounded so wrong, terribly wrong. He needed to bring himself to stop. 
"Oh right, I almost forgot." she took a shirt off the shelf and came to him, showing him the garment in her hands "You need a little help, right?" 
"Sure.'' his voice was small and he stood still while she undid his buttons. Maybe from the outside he looked completely calm, but from the inside he was a complete mess. He looked at her face and wondered if she knew, the kind of effect she's having on him. She raised her head and he looked to the side, there's no way he could look her in the eyes at this point. He hoped she didn't notice. 
"You like this one, don't you?" she asked, filling the awkward silence. 
"Looks don't matter, the most important thing is to change and avoid getting caught." She looked annoyed. Great. He wanted to shove his head though the wall. Wait… Why was he thinking that? 
"I choose the clothes I like. It makes me feel better in my skin."
"You look good in it."
She looked at him surprised and he quickly corrected himself "the dress looks good."
"Sure." she trailed off and put the new shirt over his shoulders. She could feel his muscles tensing. This was probably because of the cool air, she assured herself. 
"Why did you break me out of Tartarus? It's not like I could be of any use to you." 
She buttoned up his shirt and fixed the wrinkled parts on the garment, hand accidentally brushing over the left side of his chest, feeling his heartbeat.
Well... that was a surprise.
"I thought that maybe you could be of some use to the demon lord. Not Quirk-wise, but you may offer a valuable set of information. Something that the demon lord would appreciate greatly." she could feel it slowing down and her heart dropped just as much.
"But also because I... liked you."
He looked at her incredulously and she smiled. She pinched him to bring him out of the trance and he complained. "Don't be awkward, say something."
"I like you too... I, this is my first time I ever said this to anyone. It's weird."
She slapped him gently on the shoulder and he reached to take it but, yea, no hands.
"What the hell?"
"You're the one who's weird. But I guess that I like you this way." she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek "Ew, you should definitely shave though. No doubt about it."
The former yakuza boss swore; he'll never understand women. But for some reason he couldn't deny that he was particularly drawn to this one. He wondered if pops would approve of her.
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