#bc jac said so

[azaleasallalong]

love how "the lesbians" is literally the entire coven lmaoo

Don't get me wrong, I loved the lesbians, the twink, and three time Tony award winner, Patti Lupone, but he will always be my favorite.

[nyoclosmom]

Love how the general consensus has been “Agatha trial was so weird it has to be someone else’s + the group missed something bc they focused on the wrong person” bc I thought the trial was so weird. Like I’m the others there was this forced situation. They had to drink the wine (Agatha’s glass refilling), they had to gain the curse, they had to place cards (which isn’t as obvious at the start of the trial but near the middle it’s confirmed), then for Agatha’s they didn’t have anything that they started that would’ve opened the door/gate. Like I guess you could say summoning her mother to open the door was all they HAD to do but….compared to the others there’s some missing link. Like something got cut out, and they decided to give the watchers amnesia too. But also, I think Agatha got pretty light work until when the trial tech ended but that didn’t have to do with the road (Alice my girl I love you) so???? I could accept that it was one of the other twos though. Like Rio sure? Though I feel like death coudl have a very interesting trial given this is Agatha’s true trial. But Billy’s would also be fair. Bc he’s a magic fanatic (even before his day of becoming an Agatha fan) but I don’t understand why then so much of the trials focus was on Agatha’s mother. but also the trials have very much beeen about community (I know hear me out) so to have a trial that is very single minded and not impacting the other characters could be said is because it’s Agatha’s trial. She doesn’t and hasn’t had a true community so as someone not in a coven she can’t share her blessings and burdens.

jac shaeffer confirmed it was agatha's. they had to play ouija. the door opened once agatha was punished (she killed alice)

[henrysfox]

ooo i'd love to hear more about the casting day announcement from your pov if that's ok! like how did people react? did you think they looked the part but wasn't keen on their past acting work? did everyone freak out lmao

HELLO!!! i love talking about it!! let's gooo

so the day of the casting announcement for me was also the day i found out they were making rwrb into a movie, idk how it was for other people, but before that day i hadn't realized we would get a movie

so i was just SO HYPED about getting a film at all, you know?

then we got this announcement:

and i looked at them and IMMEDIATELY went to taylor's instagram and i was like "is that the dude from the kissing booth?" (i have never seen the kissing booth before that, but i have seen people on youtube doing some of those commentaries where they make fun of every single movie under the sun for views - the person i was friends with at the time loved watching those, so i have seen a few)

and i IMMEDIATELY became obsessed with him because i thought he was the most beautiful man i've ever seen. height aside, he was pretty much what i imagined alex to look like. back then, i'm pretty sure he hasn't been in many things so i watched tkb2 & 3 for him (or mostly his and joey's scenes because i didn't like jac*b el*rdi) and i watched minx, where he was AMAZING.

meanwhile nick creeped up on me much slower - but he did have many more movies out so i also watched all of those. at the begining he hadn't been dyed blonde yet so it was a bit harder to imagine him as henry, but the second they made him blonde i thought he was spot on as well. the filming was in progress around the same time purple hearts came out so i waited for the premiere with him and the rest of the cast, because they were all SO excited for nick - they even had a watch party and they all watched it together when it came out, and on the day of the premiere they decorated nick's trailer with tiny handmade purple hearts which was super sweet and he was adorably blushy about it.

okay back to the casting announcement day.

we got the announcement and immediately EVERYONE was negative. and i'm not exaggerating. everyone said they looked nothing like the characters, they said taylor is too pretty to play alex, that neither of the boys deserves to play these characters bc they're both straight and "sTrAiGhT acToRs sHoULdn'T pLAy quEEr cHaRaCteRs." it was just CONSTANT negativity. if someone was excited they were made fun of. people would go into nick and taylor's comments on insta and say pretty bad things.

the fandom for the movie on tumblr was nonexistant tbh. there were a few people who were fans of the book and were very vocal about how awful the movie will be with those awful actors. see, people had fancasts for alex and henry and they weren't willing to let those go. even if the guy they had in mind for alex wasn't even mexican and the guy they had in mind for henry wasn't even an actor.

i was still patiently waiting for any news to come out and for tumblr to get on with the program. at the same time first updates accounts on the movie, firstprince and nick & tay started appearing on instagram so i was mostly there, having thought that tumblr will just hate this film forever. i reread the book then and having many feelings about it i went into the tumblr tag again - there wasn't much change, but there were a few people who seemed to be just as excited as i was and i would have blocked all the negative people back then.

one of the people i saw being excited about the movie and the boys was @sincenewyorks so after some time and after gathering some courage i messaged them and we talked. there were also a few other people who were being positive by then, but all in all the fandom was pretty small and people still negative especially when they found out that june and rafael luna won't be in the movie - that brought a whole new wave of hate. some hardcore book fans have already decided the film would be awful.

i was just happy to follow the boys and the rest of the cast through the filming process, a little bit here, but mostly on instagram and in private messages with like-minded people here.

fun fact: the nick and taylor tags on tumblr were practically empty by then - taylor's had a few gifs of his naked scenes from minx and a few gifs from the kissing booth. nick's tag was almost completely empty.

flash forward to the day we got the trailer. this is the day EVERYTHING changed, because the trailer came out and suddenly? all the haters went silent. (take into account the fact that i had blocked some of them already so that might also be why lol) and the movie started reaching more and more people. overnight there were a lot of gifs from the trailer and people started posting about the movie more.

in the following weeks, more and more people were talking about the movie and nick and taylor and the bad comments were mostly kept to minimum. we could all see how excited taylor and nick, but especially taylor were about the film.

the the strikes started and we were all heartbroken that the movie wouldn't get the premiere it deserved and secretly hoping the strikes would be done by the time the movie was supposed to come out, but that didn't happen, unfortunately.

then the movie came out and some people really loved it, some others said it was disappointing, there were a few really weird takes, but mostly people REALLY loved it. the fandom has already grown bigger at that point and there were many more people willing to freak out and talk about it. then people started watching nick's and taylor's previous movies as well and their tags filled out and the rest is history, i guess.

sorry that it got SO LONG omg. some people were annoying about the casting announcement, and there was a lot of negativity at first but to be honest? i still had so much fun and the whole experience will always remain in my heart as a positive one <3

if you have any other questions, please do ask me, i can always talk about it more, i love trips down the memory lane lol

[straightupsickfics]

WRITE FOR AGATHA AND RIO I BEG

I actually truly literally need to 💜💚 Jac Schaeffer said something about how they were supposed to have a COTTAGE? So I need to make use of that bc:

[house-on-sand]

thanks for the tag <3 @birds-of-x

rules: answer and tag nine people you want to get to know better and catch up with.

favorite colour: orange <3 someone said something about how orange must be so lonely because it's no one's favourite color and that stuck with me.

last song: hatchet by tx2 (very good song!)

currently reading: a few comic series (including: superboy 94, damage 94, green lantern (kyle rayner's intro + run), and the question series from 86) as for books? im reading home is where the bodies are by jeneva rose and the grip of it by jac jemc

currently watching: if you mean at this moment? nothing. but shows im in the process of watching are the boys (started ep1!), justice league unlimited, and titans.

currently craving: the bomb ass sandwich im about to make ngl

coffee or tea: coffee <3 but i prefer energy drinks bc coffee makes me sick </3 i fuckin love the peach nectarine redbull and peach monsters

hobby to try: crocheting, i'd love to do that more often.

current au: fucking titans au baby! there's probably others but titans! fuck yeah! we're rocking with it

idk that many people so no pressure: @the-headless-horsedude @ghostyaloe @stubborngods (do u have a main? if not ignore this akags) and @misunderstoodthebeatles

[we-are-inevitable]

jac. this is an incredibly unstructured question but: any thoughts on davey in relation to stick season wabhf? songs he would like? any lyrics you really relate to him? would he be a noah fan?(enough to drag jack to a concert or two?) the floor is yours dude lol :)

oh my god. oh my god. oh my god

ok well. HAH we all know my connections between him and Call Your Mom by now but davey and noah is so……. so near and dear to me

i DO think noah is more of a jack kind of guy (and stick season is more of a jack album), but here are the noah kahan songs i associate with davey:

Northern Attitude, All My Love, Call Your Mom, Glue Myself Shut, You’re Gonna Go Far, A Troubled Mind, Come Down, Young Blood, Passenger

i can and will elaborate if need be

some (not all) noah kahan lyrics i associate with davey:

“Oh dear, oh dear, I’m sorry / That you grew up so soon” - Young Blood

“And if you want, I can tell you the truth / That this life takes a toll on you / I spend nights stitching up the lose threads in my soul / In the morning I’m bulletproof” - Young Blood

“Take me, my heart and my soul / Pick me apart and look inside, inside / Fill me with dreams I can’t hold / Keep me afloat in this cold world, cold world” - Passenger

“Tell me it won’t hurt / Now I, I’m your passenger / The old me won’t work / Now I, I’m your passenger” - Passenger

“I know I’d sell my heart for some advice / On how to ease a troubled mind” - A Troubled Mind

“No, you’d wear yourself thin / and accept every sin / And if I glued myself shut / You would find your way in” - Glue Myself Shut

“If I get too close / And I’m not how you hoped / Forgive my northern attitude, oh, I was raised out in the cold” - Northern Attitude

“Now I know your name / But not who you are / It’s all okay, there ain’t a drop of bad blood / It’s all my love, you got all my love” - All My Love

“Medicate, meditate, swear your soul to Jesus / Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason” - Call Your Mom

davey and noah:

i feel like noah is one of those artists that davey would latch onto

in my heart and soul and mind he gives me. lumineers, hozier, noah kahan, the national parks vibes- whether that’s his natural taste or something he picks up from jack is up to interpretation (bc i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: jack is a mountain wanderlust bestie)

they’d definitely go to a concert and when jack inevitable drags davey on a cross country road trip away from the city, noah is a huge chunk of the certified David and Jack Road Trip Extravaganza playlist

i also feel like. davey would find comfort in the songs not because they relate to him, necessarily- hes a city boy at heart, of course, and the woodsy vibe is just fun, not super relatable- but because they relate to jack, and he can find jack in those songs. jack and his desire and reluctance to leave the only home he’s ever known. jack and his Issues he needs to work out. jack and his complicated relationship to where he’s from and what that says about him and who he is as a person.

actually i lied davey relates to noah’s songs but specifically the ones about change and not knowing who you are

i fucking. have so many thoughts about davey. and so much love for noah. ily ily ily

[jack-kellys]

🎨 - Favourite fan work?

💜 - Favourite Rare pair?

💭 - Headcanons?

YES I GET TO TAG ARTISTS FUCK YEAHHH

send me a newsies ask and i’ll give you my thoughts!

🎨favorite fanwork?

i mean authors right off the bat are @thefactsofthematter and @we-are-inevitable with kath having fics like the fandom famous cake fic, too many colors, the olympic au, an an immortal jack fic im in love with. jac’s got the deep in the forest au which is SO cool, he also has the only soulmate fic i’ve ever liked, a fantastic rewrite of the jack/kath penthouse scene (as do i hehe), and the we said that the last time-verse which is stellar asf. and @roideny has a camp half-blood au i would perhaps maim and kill for

@wekiaam is carrying the fandom by still making newsies clips into short and brilliant animatics and @quarttetta is an artist i’ve watched grow from talented to EXTREMELY talented. fandom staples right here

💜: favorite rarepair?

spromeo i believe in so much. also blush is getting to be a rarer pair in that these two just aren’t in a lot of fics anymore which is!! boo!!!! write them, they are the originals!!

💭: headcanons?

i know this is kind of a wider hc by now but davey plays piano… davey really plays piano. it’s a form of expression rooted in experience and different levels of knowledge and it just makes sense that that would be the most comfortable way to get his feelings out— in a way only he can deeply decipher, and in a way only he can perform, and no one else can replicate.

jack is the kind of indecisive person to pick the same thing over and over so he doesn’t have to go through choosing something new, which is… kind of his plot in newsies anyway (at every single turn he picks those he cares about over his own wants and needs) but it also is true for his coffee orders. and the exact shade of blue his favorite color is. and the way he walks back to his apartment. he’s spontaneous when it comes to things involving imagination, but when it comes to real life decisions. oh boy.

i think it’d be super cool if charlie is the one who moves out to santa fe and not jack. bc in a way it is their dream together and charlie’s the only other person in the show besides jack to have santa fe melodies in a song… and it isn’t charlie who says “what’s santa fe got that new york ain’t”, charlie only says what new york does have. like he doesn’t compare them. idk it’s just interesting and i think charlie should get to have his own individual adventure out there since jack clearly cannot function without those he cares about nearby.

thank you!!! >:)

[eparvierr]

going fucking crazy they said what now. okay okay first off. i think were getting victor mancha. second i recommend you watch wandavision. you won't really get soem of the refernces or callbacks or greater connections to the mcu, but the show can standalone and i think you'd enjoy it on its own.

third, vision quest will follow vision on his journey to find himself blah blah. ultron is returning fucking hello. anyway i think tommy is going to be a main part in this show. and either at the end, we'll get a cameo from billy and agatha who find tommy or smth like that.

anyway as for agatha, i think she is staying a ghost. she won't be her own real character anymore though. as someone who has been more than well familiar with mcu for most of her life, i have an idea of how they deal with these things. rio and agatha will not come up again, we got what we got thats it. if either show up again, they will not be each other's love interests. the fact we got any mentions of romance let alone a kiss is a very big deal.

agatha is gonna be just like a side role mentor to billy. she'll show up in maguc related things here and there but i think thats all. as for rio, if they bring her back, i rlly think they'll shove her with deadpool. bc in the comics that's a thing. and like. who's there to stop them right. god i hate the mcu. anywag. hi. srry this is so long i am also going crazy

WHAT. i cant handle that. i need them ali i need them now. jac schaeffer said like. theyre saving more of agatha & rio for. Adifferrent day im shaking j just watched rhe. why dont you want me. scene again. im gonna KMS!!!!!!!

[toomanylesbiancouples]

I think they can’t risk it right now bc Jac said herself that the chemistry between Kathryn and Aubrey is explosive, so having them together before all the episodes air would be to risky

Why is there no interview with Aubrey Plaza and Kathryn Hahn?? I need them to be in a room together talking about their characters chemistry asap.

[ireallydontunderstandpeopleatall]

i was feeling depressed yesterday and pretty down bc

monday i stopped and fed a little brown dog that ive seen hanging out at a certain corner but he has not been consistently there. i told myself next time i see him i will stop and feed him bc its cold and i dont want him to be hungry too. so i parked and walked up and left him a plate of wet food and left. i noticed he did not look malnourish or too thin, not fat but healthy i guess i did snap a pic of him to post online if i hear of anyone looking for such a dog

tuesday i did not see little brown dog but driving down the narrow road in front of the trailer park a small white grey and black chihuahua ran out of there(where dogs usually run out of and many have died from vehicle accidents as u see dead animals in the grassy median, at one point there was 4) i stopped to try to pick it up out of the road and danger but it was scared of me and was running around in traffic to avoid me in which i believe i was making things worse but luckily had a dry dog food i sprinkled to the side of the road after a lady and her bf drove by and she suggested it and forced him to give me some of his pumpkin seeds he was snacking on, he had a look on his face like he was annoyed by me but fck him honestly. i made a trail of dog food and this is the premium bil jac that tastes good and the dog went for it and i lead the trail back to the trailer park in hopes it will keep doggy out of the main road. when i drove back the opp way after picking up my son i still saw the dog eating the food i left.

wednesday did not see grey and black chihuahua or brown dog in the morning. but at 8am, the house on the corner which i seen a hairy white dog in the backyard. i saw him out there laying in the grass and looked sad and i assumed he lived outside :( backyard is quite cluttered and stored with many things a dog can hide in, but being in the cold is still being in the cold.

that night i was so emotionally upset thinking of all the strays, lost or dogs that have to live outside, we had freezing temps this winter this is so concerning for me and sometimes when i think about it it makes me feel so depressed and i get this sadness so i try not to think of it. i just love dogs so much and my dog has changed my life and i just want them all to be happy and safe and fed and i know many tragedies and unfairness they have been through before me and will continue after me and the area i am looking out for is such a small area compared to the entire city, state, country, world but if i can just help 1 dog i will feel better.

thursday morning- this morning

i said i will go to yard of fluffy white dog and give him a bil jac dry food snack to try to cheer him up. i parked my car and walked up. he was no where to be seen but he is a barky little guy he was very expressive on monday when i was feeding the other dog. while taking a stroll by, 2 dogs ran out and starting barking at me. lo and behold! brown dog was in yard with white fluffy dog and it looks like they may have came from inside the house. i sprinkled some food and left. when i got in my car and drove away the dogs went back inside i am assuming bc they were no where to be seen as i was driving off. it put my mind to rest a bit knowing fluffly white dog is not an outside dog and that brown dog has a home and must get out and roam but still there is so many cars in the area.

[we-are-inevitable]

i found out yesterday that my fall semester is online, so i WILL be living vicariously through your college posts until i can get on campus in january 🤓 how’s the start of classes going??

OH MY GOSH YEAH I SAW YOU POST ABOUT THAT !! im sorry hun :( that sucks, im sorry. i hope the semester is still at least somewhat fun in the long run!

also, so far so good !! im really only worried about one of my classes (and of course it's math) but the rest of them seem awesome!! my history professor is so cool, and my english professor is like. everything i want in a professor

also just bc i just got my grade back on this assignment:

the assignment was to read a few pages from a chapter called "The Taxonomy of Bullshit" (from the book Propaganda and

we had to learn about different types of bullshit (outlined in the paper), and talk about examples of fictional characters bullshitting in media, both in propagandistic and non-propagandistic ways

and because it fit really well:

i wrote about jack kelly <3

i got 5/5 points for it and i felt REALLY WEIRD bc we had to post it as a discussion, and also leave comments on OTHER people's discussion as part of the assignment, so like. that was nerve-wracking but fun and ALSO everyone else wrote one paragraph and i?? wrote FOUR

sorry this just. turned into me talking about my assignment but i was very happy with it and i am just very excited about this class !!

[katerinadeannika]

Isn’t it delicious??? We need Jac Schaeffer to write more stories. This and Wandvision were masterful. She calls them her puzzle box stories. And she said that making everything fit and make sense only at the end when the characters finally piece it together as well is part of the joy of writing them.

Hopefully Marvel will give us more with Schaeffer. We only got AAA because she kept coming up with new shows and kept putting Agatha in them bc she loved her so much from Wandavision. And it happened so often that the higher ups asked if maybe they should be doing an Agatha story instead lol. Fingers crossed that the huge praise AAA has garnered will make that magic happen again 🙌🙌🙌

What if when Agatha said that only one witch survived the witches road with her, she's talking about Rio cause the only thing left after she drains them of all their powers is dead bodies ?

[gardenhotspot]

im so stronk. i picked up 10+ 4.5 gal arborvitaes today off a shelf that reached my chin and scared the shit out of one of the islg employees lmao

[jacfletch]

ive been watching a lot of ER lately and i know the format of the shows are different but i really think holby would benefit from a love labor’s lost episode where one of the doctors who’s on an “upswing” has a night where everything that could go wrong does or a hell & high water episode where a (~generally) sympathetic character is on a “downswing” and then endures a high-stakes situation where they help someone in need because they need to save the person, not because they wanna save their career, and it ultimately proves to themselves and others that theyre more capable than people think and are worth keeping around

[jacgaylor]

As the description says, timing messed up when I was exporting but I’ve been working on this for too long so here it is anyway.

I love these two.

[expectingtofly]

Incident at Playgroup

2.8k

fluff, established dean/cas, baby jack, human!cas, cas and dean terrorize other parents

dedicated to @thiscastielhasflown bc a few weeks ago we talked about tfw’s mcdonald’s orders and this fic happened. wishing you a good week with schoolwork assignments that only take half the time you expect them to, eventual restful sleep, and good grades <3

also posted on ao3

“Clown!” Jack yelled, pointing at the entrance to the McDonald’s indoor play area. A Ronald McDonald cardboard cutout guarded the door, holding a sign reading, You must be this tall to enter.

“Inside voice,” Dean said, though he wasn’t sure it mattered much when he could hardly hear himself speak. Recently, they’d joined a playgroup of parents and kids from Jack’s preschool, and this weekend, some of the moms had organized a playdate at the McDonald’s in town, one with a huge play area.

Meaning, they were now surrounded by screaming kids, diaper bags, and stressed out parents.

Dean winced as a kid shrieked from across the room. “We need to take a photo of you next to ol’ Ronald to show Sam.”

“Okay,” Jack agreed, jumping up and down in his chair.

Coming over with the tray of their food, Cas put out a hand to steady Jack’s chair. “That would be unnecessarily cruel."

Dean grabbed his Big Mac. “Yeah, well, he deserves it.” Before they’d come here today, Sam had repeatedly told them, quote, “please don't fuck this up again." Always was a polite bastard. “He’s gotta have more faith in us. What are we, amateurs?”

“Unfortunately, I believe that’s the point,” Cas said, sitting down and giving Jack his Happy Meal. “We don’t have the best track record with these sort of things.”

These ‘sort of things’ being playgroups. 

So, they’d tried a couple that hadn’t worked out. “Not like it’s our fault,” he said. “Take a seat, kid.” Jack ignored him, jumping in his seat as he waved to another toddler sitting nearby.

Cas beamed, holding onto the back of the chair. “He’s making friends, that’s a good sign.”

“Kid could make friends with a blank wall,” Dean said, but Cas was right—making friends was the whole point they were here. While Jack could make friends with just about anyone and anything—every crayon had a name and backstory, Cas’ trenchcoat was taken on make-believe-adventures, and the Impala could apparently talk, if Jack’s one-sided conversations during long car rides was anything to go off of—it was true that Jack was lacking in the friends-that-aren’t-hunters-or-over-a-decade-older category. There weren’t exactly many toddlers running around the bunker.

Hence, why they were spending their Saturday afternoon at the Hell on Earth known as McDonald's PlayPlace.

Jack held out the bag of apple slices that came in his Happy Meal. “Open.”

Dean stared him down and Jack added, “Peas.”

Close enough. Taking the bag, Dean told Cas, “Don’t look now, but Amanda is handing out brochures for Pampered Chef again.” According to Sam, that was another reason this playdate had to be a success—making friends with the right parents meant getting invited to more playdates and whatever other random events the parents came up with. It was like a weird society Dean had never known existed until Jack started preschool and started interacting with other kids his own age.

“I saw you using the food processor the other day,” Cas said, glancing over his shoulder to look despite Dean’s warning. Dean rolled his eyes. “I think it’s ingenious.”

“I’m not going to another two hour cooking demonstration.“

“Sam said we need to make a good impression.”

“He can go buy overpriced kitchen tools then.” It was a little too convenient that Sam had gotten out of taking Jack to this playdate—Dean had a suspicion that the multiple Ronald McDonalds stationed around had something to do with that.

He tried to hand Jack the apples, but Jack pointed at the play area. “Wanna play!”

“You have to finish your food,” Dean told him. Crossing his arms, Jack glared at him and stomped his foot on the chair.

“Just eat two more nuggets,” Cas told him. He picked up his filet-o-fish sandwich and glanced at Dean. “What?”

“You’re spoiling him.”

Jack stuffed his face with two chicken nuggets, which prompted Cas to give Dean a look. “Well, you’re teaching him bad table manners.”

Just to be obnoxious, Dean shoved half of his burger into his mouth in one bite. Jack laughed at him and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Done!” Jack announced, and Cas pushed his chair back so he could escape.

“These play places are gross,” Dean said, swallowing. “He’s gonna catch a disease.”

“Good thing he can’t get sick,” Cas said, watching Jack clamber up some stairs to reach a slide.

“Yeah, well I can,” Dean retorted. Jack went down the slide with a squeal. Landing at the bottom, he waved at them and Dean waved back.

“The Winchesters are here!” someone called too cheerily and Dean rolled his eyes, turning to see Ashley walking over. Lady thought she ran the group, always recruiting parents to bring snacks and toys to playdates. A little too high and mighty when Dean knew for a fact that the cupcakes she'd brought last week were store-bought.

Settling down into the seat next to them, she asked, “I wasn’t expecting you two today. Where’s Sam?”

Dean resisted rolling his eyes. Of course Sam was everyone’s favorite. Wasn’t his fault Sam was better at feigning interest in grocery lists and laundry piles. Parenting was hard enough without getting subjected to the unique torture of playgroup small talk.

“Him and Eileen went on a weekend trip,“ Cas answered easily and Dean nodded. They’d long given up trying to explain to others why Jack had a rotating list of parental figures accompanying him to playgroup, figuring if the other parents thought they were in a weird cult situation, at least that was better than them knowing the truth—like the fact that Sam and Eileen were away hunting a rugaru in Missouri. Though they were going to run out of excuses soon for why playgroup couldn’t be hosted at their place—an underground bunker with enough weapons to hold off an army.

“Well,” Ashley said, “I’m glad you guys were able to make it.” Yeah, that was a fake smile.

“We wouldn’t miss it,” Dean said, plastering on his own fake smile. “I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.” Cas kicked him under the table.

“We’ve loved having Jack in the group,” Ashley said, and that might not be a fake sentiment. Jack could charm anyone. “Such a sweetheart. Lily adores him.” She smiled at where Jack and her daughter Lily were crawling through a tunnel at the top of the play area.

“Jack, no!” Dean called, seeing Jack stick his fingers in his mouth. “I’m so getting sick,” he muttered under his breath.

He was trying to come up with an excuse to get away as Ashley pulled out her phone to show them a new post on her mommy blog—boring, same old content. Give him a blog and he’d actually have something interesting to say—when he heard familiar crying from across the play area.

Without a second thought, he was pushing back his chair and rushing over, squeezing past playing kids and their parents to find Jack sitting on the floor bawling his eyes out and a bigger kid standing over him.

“What the hell happened here?” he demanded. He went to pick up Jack, but Cas was already swooping in and grabbing him.

“He pushed me!” Jack managed through his sobs, and Dean turned on the older kid.

“What the hell’s your problem?” The kid’s baleful expression faltered. He took a step back and Dean advanced on him. “You get off on making kids half your size cry?”

“Don’t speak to my son that way!” someone exclaimed, pushing through the crowd of kids and parents to glare at them. “What’s going on?”

“Your son is a menace,” Cas told the woman—Denise. Playgroup gossip said her son had gotten held back from kindergarten due to his inability to ‘play nice with others.’ Jack’s crying had subdued to sniffles, but Cas still held onto him like he might break apart. “He was bullying our son.”

“I’m sure it was an accident.” She put her hand on the kid’s shoulder. “You didn’t mean to hurt him, right, Tommy?”

Tommy only glared at them, and Dean glared right back. “He needs to apologize to Jack,” Cas said.

“Tommy, apologize.”

After several long, drawn out seconds, Tommy muttered, looking down at his feet, “Sorry.”

“I don’t think that was a real apology,” Cas said.

“It’s not my fault Jack’s a crybaby,” Tommy shot back.

“You little—” Dean started

“Take that back,” Cas snapped, and if he wasn’t human, Dean would’ve expected his eyes to start glowing fiery blue. Denise’s eyes grew wide, her grip on Tommy’s shoulder tightening.

“Is there a problem here?” someone asked, and Dean turned to see a McDonald’s employee hurrying over.

“Yeah, this kid shoved our son,” Dean said. “And he’s being a little shit about it.”

The employee’s expression turned shocked and Dean heard a few gasps from the parents that had crowded around to see the commotion. “I’m gonna have to ask you to leave,” the employee stammered. “This is a kid’s play area, we won’t tolerate fighting here.”

“We were already going,” Cas said haughtily. He glared at Denise. “And if 'Tommy' ever lays a hand on Jack again, he will be sorry.” Jack’s expression was eerily similar to Cas’ as they shot twin glares at Tommy, and Dean thought he caught a spark in Jack’s eyes.

“Let’s go,” he said, taking Cas’ elbow and guiding him through the crowd of spectators before Jack tried to incinerate the kid. He wasn’t sure if that was one of Jack’s powers or not, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out in a crowded McDonald’s. Even if the snot-nosed kid deserved it.

The staff behind the counter was watching along with everyone else in the store, the once noisy place now brought to tense stillness. Cas snatched up the rest of their food and Dean knew they were already on the verge of getting the cops called on them, but he couldn’t resist turning and jabbing his finger at the little brat. “And don’t you ever fucking touch Jack again!”

Cas shot Denise and Tommy another look, Jack copying it over his shoulder, and Dean let the door slam shut behind them.

“I can’t believe the audacity of that woman,” Cas raged, strapping Jack into his carseat. Dean grabbed the wipes and leaned over the front seat to wipe Jack’s hands before he touched everything and spread germs around. “And her kid is exactly the same!”

Jack craned his neck to look back at the McDonald’s as Cas finished strapping him in. “Play!”

Getting into the passenger seat, Cas slammed the door shut. “You will not be going back there, not when those children are around. Dean was right, these play places are vile.”

“You alright, kid?” Dean asked Jack, shutting the wipe container.

Jack kicked his feet against the seat. “Hungry.”

Cas pulled out the container of Jack’s half-eaten chicken nuggets and Dean protested, thinking of a fateful day with a bag of cheerios—he was still finding them in every nook and cranny of the car. “No eating in the backseat.”

“He’s just been through a traumatic experience,” Cas said, handing the container to Jack. “We can make an exception.”

“Fine,” Dean muttered, gripping the steering wheel as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I always knew Denise was shifty. You saw the way she was trying to spin the story, making it out like it wasn’t her kid’s fault? Fucking asshole.”

“Asshole!” Jack agreed cheerfully from the backseat.

“That’s not a nice word, Jack,” Cas said. Quieter, he added, “But it’s accurate.” He pulled out his phone. “I’m gonna send a message to the playgroup chat. Tommy’s behavior can’t be tolerated. Soon all the kids are going to become bullies.”

“He needs to be taught a lesson,” Dean agreed, glancing at Jack as he stopped at a red light, trying not to flinch at the crumbs on Jack’s lap that threatened to fall to the floor. “Needs to get knocked down by someone. Hear that, Jack? We’re gonna teach you how to fight back.”

Jack nodded. “I can fight!” He waved a chicken nugget around in mock punches and Dean gave up any hope of keeping the backseat clean.

“Maybe we can convince the other parents to kick Denise and her son out of the—Oh.” Dean looked over at him and Castiel winced. “We’ve been blocked from the group chat.”

“That makes three of them,” Dean muttered, pushing the accelerator as the light turned green. “We’re gonna end up on some blacklist soon.”

First playgroup, Jack had set a couch on fire. Since the "baby god testing out his powers” explanation wasn’t gonna fly, they went with the tried and true, “playing with matches” excuse. Didn’t stop the group from voting to kick them out.

Second playgroup, Cas had gotten in a fiery debate over the ethicality of beekeeping, and what was Dean supposed to do? Not back him up? He hadn't known you could get kicked out of the zoo for "disorderly conduct."

Alright, maybe Sam’s fears that they’d fuck up this playdate too weren’t completely off base.

“I think it’s time we give playgroups a rest,” he decided.

"But Jack needs to make friends."

"He's already got us, and Claire and Kaia and Alex and—"

"Charlie!" Jack added from the backseat.

"Charlie," Dean agreed. "He's got plenty of friends." Cas only stared him down with a particular smitey look in his eyes, and though Dean knew there wasn't a real threat behind the gaze, he sighed. "Fine. We’ll try again.”

"I already had one in mind," Cas said, brightening. "In case this one didn't work out."

“Done!” Jack yelled.

“Inside voice,” Dean said automatically. “Wait, you had a backup plan?"

“Yes,” Cas said, taking the empty container of chicken nuggets from Jack. “I thought it wise considering our track record. It’s a smaller group than this one was—Here, Jack, you want my ice cream?”

“Dude, seriously?” Dean protested as Cas handed an Oreo McFlurry back to Jack, who excitedly held out his hands. “That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Not necessarily,” Cas said. “I don’t think we’re that destined to fail again—Oh, you mean the ice cream.” He glanced at Jack, who was dripping ice cream onto his lap with every spoonful. “Um. Traumatic experience?”

Dean wasn’t falling for that excuse a second time. He started to say so, but Cas wasn’t listening, picking up his phone as it beeped several times in quick succession.

“What?” Dean asked, seeing a slow frown cross Cas' face as he stared at the screen.

Cas held up his phone to show several texts in a row. “We’re in trouble.”

On cue, Dean’s phone started ringing, the screen lighting up to display Sam’s name. Fuck.

“Sam would like to know why we’re all blocked from the group chat,” Cas said unhelpfully, and Dean rejected the call.

“Good luck explaining why.”

“Maybe the problem is us,” Cas said slowly. He met Dean’s eyes, then they both shook their heads.

“No, it’s those stupid parents,” Dean said.

“And their insufferable children,” Cas agreed.

“Insufferable!” Jack agreed from the backseat, ice cream smeared across his chin. Or that’s what Dean thought he was repeating, the word losing a few syllables along the way.

“Not you, Jack,” Cas said. “Every playgroup would be lucky to have you.”

“Just, they apparently don’t know it,” Dean pointed out. “Or we wouldn’t keep getting kicked out.”

His phone started ringing again, as if to remind him of the fact, and he looked pointedly at Cas. “You deal with him.”

“No, you,” Cas said.

“For fuck’s sake,” Dean muttered. Then he had an idea.

“Hey, Jack, tell Sam about what you saw today.” He turned on speakerphone and handed back his phone, not even caring that Jack’s hands were a sticky mess. Okay, maybe he cared a little, but that’s why the Impala now always held wipes in the glove box.

Jack grabbed his phone eagerly. “Sam!” he crowed. “Guess what I saw!”

Dean caught Sam’s voice over the phone. “What—Jack, hey, where’s Dean?”

“Clowns!” Jack said, waving his ice cream spoon around. “Clowns everywhere!”

“Very mature,” Cas told Dean.

Dean shrugged. “Buys us some time.”

“That’s nice, Jack, but put Dean on,” Sam said. Jack started to give the phone back, and Cas whispered,

“Tell him about the slide.”

“Sam, Sam! I went on a slide!” Dean gave him a thumbs up in the rearview mirror and Jack copied it.

“Dean! I know you can hear me!” Sam yelled as Jack continued on about his eventful day.

“We’re horrible influences,” Cas said, unsuccessfully fighting back a smile.

“Nah,” Dean said. “We’re the best.”

tag list

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