#bc it was part of this series i had planned and the amount of work that would have to go into it just exhausts me

[deanncastiel]

so i may or may not have uh, obtained the videos to make the gifs. the question is will i 🤔🤔🤔

[pedrospatch]

a safe haven l six

Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader

series masterlist

summary: Joel opens up to you about a very traumatic loss; he makes a confession about his feelings towards you; you make a confession of your own and it leads to something more.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. fluff, infidelity, Joel and reader are having a full blown affair at this point, angst, talks of child loss (Sarah), lots of feelings come to the surface, two idiots realize they are in love. SMUT. oral sex (m receiving), size mention bc i will always be convinced our man is packing) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up pls), reader discovers she likes praise, creampie.

word count: 8.4k

August 2024

The next two and a half weeks that had passed by had done so without major incident, but things had taken a somewhat complicated turn.

You and Joel still manage to see one another a handful of times even with the exhausting amount of hours he’s been putting into his patrol duties, though it isn’t nearly as often as either of you wanted or would have preferred. But there was no other choice.

After numerous sightings of a group of potential raiders earlier on in the month, Tommy had no choice but to assign every last competent, able bodied patrol person, including himself, to work double shifts to ensure the safety and security of Jackson. He and Joel had come across the remnants of a campsite just about fifteen miles south of the settlement and they worried the group was hiding out, planning a violent, ambush attack on the community when it was least expected. Tommy had done his absolute best to keep the word from spreading throughout the commune to avoid causing a panic, but he found himself having to fess up when people went up to him and all but furiously demanded to know the truth—the real reason behind why their loved ones were now being asked to be on the other side of wall twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

Joel, who you’d come to learn is one of the sharpest and strongest shooters out of everybody in Jackson besides his younger brother, reluctantly took on the role of lead patrolman. He had been assigned an absurd amount of double shifts to work, including the overnight routes, making it almost impossible for you to see each other. You’d understood he had no choice but to comply, but still—that didn’t make the situation any easier to deal with. Both of you tried to make the very best of what little time you managed to get together, but it hadn’t been nearly enough. As if not being able to see Joel wasn’t agonizing enough for you, the fact that he was out on the other side of the wall scared the hell out of you. The only way to keep yourself from losing your goddamn mind was to distract yourself.

You did everything that you could to keep your mind off Joel being out there. Burying yourself deeply into your work helped for the most part.

Besides that, Joel had asked you, as a favor to him, to keep a watchful eye on Ellie in light of his absence. You’d spend most of the day with her in the stables, you would have lunch with her in the mess hall along with Dina, and in the evening, you would go home and make dinner early enough to fix an extra plate of food for her so she had a nutritious homemade meal to enjoy instead of two decades old canned ravioli. You would take it over to her place and drop it off before Luke came home from the clinic. Ellie waited until it was late in the evening and he was asleep to return the plate back to you, and the two of you would take a lengthy, late night stroll through the town, keeping each other company for a while before heading off to bed. She hadn’t seemed to be all too concerned about Joel, but then again, Ellie had known better than you did that he could take care of himself out there just fine. If anything, you spending so much time with her had been more for your benefit than hers, and you started to suspect that just like Joel had asked you to keep an eye on Ellie, he had also asked her to keep an eye on you too. After all, you had made it abundantly clear to him that you were nervous about him being out on patrol while there was a possible threat looming in the shadows.

By the time the middle of August came around, no additional traces of the group had been found—they seemed to have vanished into thin air, causing a wave of relief to sweep through the town. Tommy and Maria finally decided to ease up and end the double shift assignments, allowing every single patrolman and woman to return to their normally scheduled work rotations. Joel went back to his usual early morning and afternoon patrol hours, which meant that the both of you could resume your clandestine meetings out behind the barn underneath the stars.

“I missed you,” you say, sighing out contentedly as you lean back against him.

You and Joel are sitting out on the large, vacant patch of field behind the barn, his soft, green flannel blanket acting as a barrier between your bodies and the itchiness of the grass the animals would graze on during the day. You’re nestled in between his long legs, your back against his warm chest as the two of you share the delicious, ripe peach he’d brought along with him as a surprise for you.

“Mm, probably not as much as I was missin’ you, sweet girl,” Joel replies with a hum before taking a bite of the fruit. Noticing there’s only a couple bites of it left, he reaches his arm around and holds it out for you, his bulging bicep straining against the sleeve of his faded black t-shirt. “Here, darlin’. Want you to go on and have the rest.”

“These will be out of season in a couple of months.” Giving a sad little pout to nobody in particular, you sigh again and sink your teeth into the peach. Through a small mouthful, you realize, “Who knows when we’ll ever get peaches around here again.”

Joel’s lips meet the spot on your neck right behind your ear and you feel him grin. “S’alright with me. I’ve got my sweet, perfect little peach right here. And I’ve got her all year round.”

You playfully elbow him in his chest. After polishing off the rest of the peach, you lick off the pit and toss it out into the distance.

“Didn’t think you’d be the type to litter,” he teases.

“It’s biodegradable,” you retort with a tiny laugh as you leaned your head back against his shoulder and gaze up, admiring the stars that sprinkle the velvet night skies. “Or at least, I think it is. Come to think of it, I never paid much attention in life science when I was in FEDRA school. It was my least favorite subject.”

You gather your hair in your hand, bringing it over your shoulder to keep it out of Joel’s face. 

“Mm,” he whispers, licking his lips as his eyes fall to the delicate flesh of your exposed neck. He ghosts his mouth over your pulse point and his warm breath fans against your cool skin, prompting your eyes to flutter closed. “Just temptin’ me on purpose now, ain’t you, baby?”

“I would never do such a thing,” you object in an innocent tone, and he immediately clocks the smirk behind it. A comfortable silence falls over the both of you and while you’d normally welcome the peaceful, tranquil moment with him, tonight it feels impossible. You had gone so long without Joel over the last couple of weeks—at least, it had certainly felt long—and you realize one of things you’d missed most about him was the sound of his voice. “Ask me a question, Joel.”

“What kinda question can I ask, darlin’?”

Feeling brave, you offer, “You can ask me anything you want. No limits.”

Humming curiously to himself, he tries to think of something he hasn’t asked you before. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Really, Joel?” You snort, trying to mask your laughter as he rests his chin on your shoulder, the scruff of his beard tickling your skin as he presses his cheek against yours. “I just told you that you can ask me anything you want and that’s your question? What’s my favorite color?”

“Yeah,” he answers, simply. “I wanna know what it is.”

He turns his head, lifting it off your shoulder to brush a gentle kiss to your temple. Joel could not, for the life of him, even remember the last time he’d shared this kind of physical tenderness with anybody. Forehead kisses, holding your hand, all sorts of little tokens of affection he didn’t think he could still be capable of giving to someone came to him so naturally with you. You had brought out an entirely different side of him, one that had been buried beneath his rough exterior for well over two decades, and the part that Joel still can’t quite wrap his own head around is that you’d done it with such ease. He’d go as far as to say that you had done it without even trying.

“So?” Joel prompts you. “What is it?”

“It’s brown,” you answer. 

“Brown? Why brown?”

“Because. It’s earthy, it’s warm—and your eyes are brown,” you state, grinning to yourself as you feel his loud laugh rumble through his chest and against your back. “What about you? I mean that’s if Joel Miller even has a favorite color,” you giggle teasingly, placing a hand on one of his denim clad legs. You then add, “Actually, I’m kind of curious now. Do you have a favorite color, Joel?”

Joel hesitates, momentarily holding onto his answer.

“I do. It’s purple,” he finally responds after a brief bout of silence. “Purple’s my favorite color.”

“Purple,” you repeat after him, unable to mask the surprise in your tone. “Really?”

Joel chuckles. “What? That weird or somethin’?”

“Uh, sort of. For one, you just don’t strike me as the kind of guy who would have a favorite color in the first place—and even if you’d told me you did, I would have never in a million years guessed that it was purple,” you admit, sheepishly. You trace a small circle around his knee with your finger and curiously ask him, “Why is purple your favorite color?”

“‘Cause. That’s my daughter’s favorite color.”

You scoff playfully. “Come on, Joel. Ellie’s favorite color sure as hell isn’t purple. Her favorite color is green. But red’s a close second.”

When he speaks again, his voice is so quiet you almost don’t hear him despite being in such close proximity. 

“I ain’t talkin’ about Ellie.”

At first, it doesn’t quite register, but after a moment of processing, the pieces click together in your mind. Joel has another daughter.

Your smile vanishes and you slowly turn around between his legs to face him. Looking at him with wide, shocked eyes, you utter, “What?”

“Her name was Sarah,” he confesses, softly. 

Was. 

Your throat dries at his use of past tense.

Because you know exactly what that means. 

Opening your mouth to speak, words fail you and you close it. You suddenly remember the way he would tap dance around certain details of his first life in Texas. Whenever he would speak about his life before the outbreak, he would be cautious, careful to watch himself and his words. You’d known Joel had been keeping something from you, something he wasn’t ready to disclose to you for one reason or another—but never would you have guessed that him having a daughter would be the secret he had been hiding.

By now, you’ve turned your body around and you kneel in front of him, sitting back onto your heels. Not wanting to push him too hard or too fast, you clasp your hands together in your lap and wait silently—patiently—for him to continue when he’s ready.

“Sarah’s favorite color was purple. She’d wear it all the time. Her backpack, her school supplies, they all had to be purple or she wouldn’t use them. When she was nine years old, she begged me to paint the walls of her bedroom purple. One day, I took her to Home Depot after school to look at all the different shades.” He laughs, musing, “Didn’t know there could be so goddamn many of them. Anyhow, I told her I’d think ‘bout it. I went back to the store the next day while she was at school, bought a couple cans of the lavender shade I knew she’d like the best and by the time she got home, I had it all painted for her,” he explains, a sadness glazing over the fondness of the memory. “She loved purple. It was the color of the t-shirt she was wearin’ the last time we were together on the night of the outbreak.”

Your heart sinks. “Joel, you don’t have to tell me—”

“S’alright, peach. I wanna tell you ‘bout her,” Joel assures you, reaching out for your hand and taking it in his own. “I trust you, baby. Trust you more than enough to tell you ‘bout Sarah.”

Nodding, you lace his fingers together with your own. 

“I was never married,” he starts to say, knowing whether or not he’d also had a wife before the world ended would be a question on your mind—that’s if it wasn’t already. “I was never with Sarah’s mom. I met her in high school and we’d been friends up through senior year of college. We started to date then, but after a year, we realized we weren’t a good fit together. We broke up and a couple months later, we found out she was pregnant with Sarah. Her mom and me, well we both made an agreement to co-parent her as best as we could. Just a few months shy of our daughter’s first birthday, she realized she couldn’t handle raisin’ a child at our age. I tried real hard to convince her to stick around and keep tryin’ but I couldn’t get her to stay. She bailed out on me, but the worst part of it was that she bailed out on Sarah.”

He stops for a moment and you give his hand a gentle, but firm, encouraging squeeze.

“As if bein’ a father to a baby girl didn’t scare the shit of me, being a single father made it all feel so much scarier, y’know? I was young, in my early twenties. I was always workin’ so damn much, tryin’ to build my construction business with Tommy. Now I had this tiny little person to take care of, and I honestly didn’t know how the fuck I was gonna do it.” Joel pauses, his sixth sense detecting that your knees have started hurting from the position you’re in. He closes his legs together and pulls you to sit on his lap. “It wasn’t easy, and I probably made a lot more mistakes than I’d like to admit. But somehow, I made it work and it turned out alright. Sarah was my best friend in the whole entire world. Hell, I loved her more than fuckin’ life itself. She could be a handful, but she was perfect in every single way. She was my sweet little butterfly, my ray of sunshine on even the darkest of days.”

Swallowing harshly, you ask, “What happened to her, Joel?”

Joel sighs, resting a hand on your bare thigh. His fingers skim the scalloped hem of your floral shorts. “It was the first night of the outbreak. We were tryin’ to get out of Austin. Me, Sarah, and Tommy. We didn’t know where the hell we were gonna go or what we were gonna do, but we just needed to get far away from the city. We got separated at one point when our pickup truck got into an awful wreck. I had Sarah in my arms ‘cause she couldn’t walk. She’d broken her ankle in the crash. Tommy told me to get her to the river where she’d be safer, said he’d find his way over there to meet us.”

Your heart begins to pound. Part of you almost doesn’t want to hear how his story is going to end—because in a way, you already know how it’s going to end. But if Joel is telling you about Sarah, it’s for a reason. He’s opening up to you, the way you’ve opened up to him. He’s sharing his heartbreaking loss because he trusts you—and Joel Miller doesn’t trust anyone that’s not his family.

Draping an arm around his shoulders, your fingers toy with the curls at the nape of his neck as you anxiously wait for him to recount the event that follows next, the event that will surely shatter your heart into pieces.

“The streets were crawlin’ with infected. One caught us in its sights and chased after us. Tried to dodge it through a buildin’ but it followed us, runnin’ us out into a field just a mile from the river. I didn’t think we were gonna make it—then, a soldier came outta nowhere and shot it dead. It felt like some kinda fuckin’ miracle. I thought we were lucky. I thought we were gonna get some help.” His voice grows hoarse, thickening with emotions he’s not too sure he can hold back this time. “I couldn’t have been more wrong. He was given the order by his command to kill us both, even though we weren’t sick. I tried tellin’ him over and over we weren’t infected, but it didn’t matter. He shot at us. He grazed me in my side, but Sarah—he got her. Got her multiple times. I was foolish enough to think it hadn’t been fatal. I tried gettin’ her up, begged Tommy to help me—but it was useless. Sarah died in my arms. Took her very last breath in some field outside of Austin.”

“God,” you whisper shakily, a sharp, painful ache shooting through your chest at the thought of him cradling his daughter’s lifeless body in his arms, her purple shirt soaked in crimson. “Joel, I don’t—I don’t even know what to say. I’m so sorry.” Willing yourself to keep it together for his sake, you hold the back of his neck in your hand, fingers coaxing him to look up and meet your gaze.

“After that, I just didn’t see any point in carryin’ on anymore. I’d lost the most important thing in the fuckin’ world to me. I couldn’t see in the darkness now that my little ray of sunshine was gone. So, a couple nights later, I picked up my gun and tried to end my own life,” he confesses. Even though it’s been over twenty years, traces of shame still linger behind. “Put the barrel of a pistol to my temple. Told myself it was what I wanted to do and I pulled the trigger.”

Without thinking, you reach towards the scar on his right temple with your opposite hand, the one you’d noticed for the first time before he had kissed you in Ranger’s stall. You lightly brush your fingertips over the jagged, raised patch of skin. You’d wanted to ask him about it on several different occasions, but never had the courage to actually do it. Now that you know he’d gotten it from his own hand, it just makes the entire thing all that much more heart wrenching.

“M’sure you’ve guessed it by now, but I missed. I flinched and I missed. For twenty fuckin’ years, all I could do was wish I hadn’t missed. Spent a long time hatin’ myself for missin’ what should’ve been the easiest goddamn shot of my entire life. Then, Ellie came along.” Joel moves his hand, gingerly taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. “And not long after her, I met you, sweet girl. The two of you came at me outta nowhere.” He can’t help but chuckle, remembering his first encounter with Ellie, the way she had flown at him with her switchblade clutched in hand only to end up thrown against the wall. “You both came outta left fuckin’ field and brought out sides of me I thought had been dead and buried for years now. You and her, you mean more to me than I can fuckin’ explain. You’re the most important things in the world to me now.”

Your breath catches in the back of your throat at his declaration. It’s not like you didn’t know Joel cared about you. Of course you know that. But the extent to which he did had been something of a mystery, at least up until this very moment.

“I didn’t know I could feel this way ‘bout anyone again,” Joel admits. He slides his arm around you, pulling you closer to him. “Openin’ up my heart to Ellie, that was one thing. But openin’ it up to you? That’s been somethin’ else, peach. I don’t think you even realize the hold you’ve got over me and my heart. What really fuckin’ gets me is that you don’t even gotta try. All you gotta do is look at me with those eyes and give me that pretty smile of yours, and I’m fuckin’ done for. You’ve got me wrapped all the way around your little finger and then back again, baby. Y’need to know that I’d do just ‘bout fuckin’ anythin’ for you. You understand that?”

You stare at him like a deer caught in headlights.

“Joel,” you stammer his name, your nerve endings feeling like they’ve been lit on fire. “You really need to stop talking like that.”

“Why’s that?”

You don’t even think—you just blurt the words out before you can stop them.

“Because I think I’m falling in love with you.”

The tables turn and it’s now Joel who is at a complete loss for words.

Embarrassed by your own admission, you begin to ramble nervously. “Look, I know it’s ridiculous. We haven’t known each other long, but I can’t help it. And maybe it’s for the best if you know where I stand and how I feel. You still have time to back out of this—”

Still holding your chin, Joel carefully brings your face toward his, silencing you by slotting his lips to yours. He moves to cup the side of your face in his palm, forgetting about any kind of softness as he greedily licks into your mouth. He’s kissed you plenty of times before and you thought you knew all of his kisses well enough by now, but you’d been wrong. This one is different from all the rest. His lips move against yours in a possessive manner, but not the kind of possessive you’re used with Luke. No, with Joel, it isn’t a possessive stemming from control and abuse, rather, it’s out of pure need, want, and desire. Even as his mouth devours yours, there’s still a sweet, loving tenderness to it.

“Joel,” you whimper against him. “I—”

You falter, unable to say those three words. There’s something holding you back—maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s knowing that once you say them, you can’t take them back. Not that you would. But it’s a big step, and you’re not quite ready to say it, even if it is how you feel.

And he feels the same.

He deepens the embrace.

I love you.

Joel might not be ready to say it either, but he hopes the way he’s holding you and swelling your lips with his puts your mind at ease and reassures you that you’re not the only one who’s falling.

You shift yourself in his lap, moving to straddle him, your legs on either side of his thighs as your mouths remain fused to one another. He reaches and grabs for every single part of you that he can, running his hands all over you from your shoulders down to your hips, dragging lower until they’re unabashedly cupping the delicious curves of your ass. You whimper in his mouth again and the moment your lips part, his tongue takes advantage, darting inside to start the heated, unhinged dance with your own.

You clutch at his shoulders, your fingers curling around tight around fistfuls of his t-shirt in an attempt, and a very desperate one at that, to keep yourself planted on the ground. You hold on trying to keep yourself tethered to planet earth, but with the way his searing hot mouth moves with yours in perfect unison, it’s impossible. You’re free falling without a safety net, and you don’t even care. 

Seating yourself completely on his lap, you feel the bulge of his cock straining against the zipper of his jeans and the wetness pools between your thighs.

Letting go of his shirt, you reach around him and bury your fingers in his curls, lightly tipping his head back as your tongue explores his mouth like it’s the first time all over again. Joel tastes like the sweet fruit you’d shared, a strange mix when combined with the mint from his toothpaste. But there’s something else he tastes like and you’ve tasted it several times before, however even after all this time, you still can’t figure out what it could be. It tastes like Joel. That’s the only way you can think of to describe it. It just tastes like Joel and it’s addicting and you want it on your lips for the rest of your life.

After a minute, you and Joel finally force yourselves apart, your lungs and his begging for oxygen. 

“Joel,” you choke his name between heavy pants for air.

“Baby.” He’s about as breathless as you are, possibly even more. “Baby, please. I’ve gotta have you,” he pleads, hands now splayed on the small of your back. “Please. I fuckin’ need you. Or else m’gonna lose my goddamn fuckin’ mind.”

“Barn,” you rasp out, releasing your grip on his hair. 

Confused, Joel’s eyebrows knit together. “Barn?”

“Barn,” you repeat as you climb off of him.

You’re unsteady—incredibly unsteady. Knees wobbling, legs trembling and feeling like they’re seconds away from giving out underneath you. But you hold a hand out to Joel, exhaling a tiny, labored grunt as you help him up off the ground. Grabbing his blanket, you give it a shake before taking his hand in yours and leading him around to the front of the barn. Dropping his hand, you use both of yours to slide one of the double doors open an inch or two and take a peek inside to make sure the coast is clear. You then slide the door open a bit further, just wide enough for you and Joel to slip inside. 

“Wait a minute,” he chuckles as he watches you slide the door closed. “How’d y’know it would be unlocked?”

“I didn’t know it would be unlocked. I was just hoping we’d get lucky,” you admit, beckoning him for him to follow you. “Come on.”

Through various cracks and gaps and open windows, enough moonlight filters into the barn, shining a decent amount of light into the structure—enough so that it’s not pitch black and you two are left stumbling around in complete darkness.

Joel glances around. The last time he’d been inside the barn was back in June for the summer party. He remembered it having been cleaned and cleared out for the event and now, two months later, it’s packed to the rafters with countless bales of hay. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have been surprised. But as he walks, piles of loose dried grass and herbs crunch underneath his boots and he remarks, “There’s fuckin’ hay everywhere, darlin’.”

“Um, yeah. What else do you keep in a barn?” you jeer lightly, earning yourself a small scoff from him. “Hey, at least they don’t keep sheep and other livestock in here, Joel. Besides, beggars can’t be choosers, right?”

Joel snorts, masking his laughter at the thought of walking into a barn full of animals instead of an absurd amount of hay. “Yeah, guess that’s fair enough,” he concedes. “Might kill the mood if that were the case.”

You lead him over towards one of the far corners of the barn, your eyes falling to a large, almost bed sized pile of loose hay. Draping the blanket over it, you stand upright and then freeze, your body flooding with nerves once you realize what’s inevitably about to happen between you and Joel.

You hadn’t done anything with him since the night he’d pleasured you out on his front porch. Of course you wanted more, so much more, but that doesn’t make you any less nervous. You’re so much younger, hardly have any experience—you’ve only ever been with one man, and even then, it hardly counts. It’s been such a long time since you’d found sex something you wanted, something you enjoyed. Whenever Luke touches you, it makes your skin crawl, but when Joel Miller touches you?

It sets you ablaze, leaves you needing more of it. Of him.

Part of you wonders if your touch makes him feel the same. What if it doesn’t?

His arms wrap around your waist from behind and you exhale the breath you’d been holding shakily.

“What’s the matter, darlin’?” Joel murmurs softly into your hair, sensing your pensiveness. 

“I’m just really nervous,” you blurt out.

“S’okay,” he says, quietly. “M’kinda nervous too.”

You’re slightly taken aback. “Really? What are you nervous about?”

Joel rests his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve both crossed a lot of lines already, peach. But this one? S’gonna be the one we can’t come back from,” he tells you. “Might be what seals the deal between us, y’know?”

Slowly, you turn around to face him. “Yeah, I know,” you respond, peeking up at him through your eyelashes. “And I know I should care, but I don’t. It’s wrong, isn’t it?”

“S’wrong,” he agrees with a tight nod. “But I don’t care either, sweet girl.”

Before you can utter another word about it, Joel crashes his mouth onto yours. He snakes one of his arms around you and lifts the other, cupping the back of your neck as he ravages you with his lips and tongue, kissing you with such urgency, such desperation that it melts you into a whimpering mess in his arms. Your mind is hopelessly lost in a thick, cloudy haze—all you can focus on is breathing him into your lungs like he’s the air you need to stay alive. His hands fall down to the hem of your white camisole and his mouth abandons yours to pull it over your head. He discards it, tossing it over his shoulder somewhere behind him. He then pushes your shorts and underwear down your legs and you kick them off along with your shoes. You’re now standing before him completely naked.

Desperate to feel his skin against yours, you take the hem of his t-shirt and clumsily tug it over his head, eliciting a laugh from him. You throw it somewhere over his shoulder to join yours and your hands eagerly meet his warm, bare chest for the first time. Biting down on your bottom lip, your trembling fingertips brush over several bumps and rough, raised patches of skin that you know have to be his scars. He has so many, and all you want to do is kiss each and every single one of them, but Joel has other ideas. He pulls you into his arms, flush against his chest, and he holds you tightly.

More often than not, Joel feels as if you’re not real—worries that you’re just a perfect, flawless figment of his own imagination. He doesn’t know whether or not you’ve caught onto what he’s been doing, but he steals moments like these whenever he can, moments where he stands there and takes you into his arms and holds you without saying a word.

It’s his own way of reminding himself that not only are you real, but you’re real and you’re his. Joel doesn’t care about the fucking ring on your finger. He doesn’t care that you’re promised to another man. He doesn’t care that he can only hold you in secret, that he can’t walk next you down the streets of Jackson in broad daylight and hold your hand while doing so. He doesn’t get to share a roof or a bed with you and he doesn’t get to join you for dinner at the table every night—maybe this isn’t how he preferred things to be, but he just doesn’t care. 

It doesn’t matter to him.

Nothing matters to him except for one thing.

Your heart belongs to him. It bleeds with his name.

You’re his. You’re all fucking his, and only his, in all the ways that truly matter.

And he is yours. 

Joel chokes out a strained groan as you press your plush lips softly against his neck, your tongue swiping across his pulse point. You firmly suckle his flesh, hard enough to break the tiny blood vessels underneath his skin and once you’ve left your mark, you trail your lips down his neck, eliciting another strangled noise from him. You sweep them over his collarbone, then down the length of his chest, showing each scar you come across with the affection it deserves. Your teeth nip and scrape at the softness of his belly and you quickly discover that it’s one of your favorite parts of him. Lowering yourself to your knees, your nose skims over the trail of dark, coarse hair below his navel and your fingers suggestively skim the waistband of his jeans.

His eyes widen. “You ain’t gotta do that—”

“I already told you, Joel. I want to,” you assure him, your voice low, sexy, filled with a lust for him and only for him. You make yourself comfortable, a challenging feat since you’d overshot the blanket and are now kneeling directly on the itchy, dried grass. It doesn’t matter, though—you’re more than willing to deal with discomfort for him. You place a hand on his hip and peer up at him. Your eyes meet his in the milky white moonlight. “You made me feel good. Please, just let me do the same for you?”

The nod he gives you is so subtle, so quick, that you almost don’t catch it.

He’d grown tense beneath your touch. 

You can’t help but laugh softly—not at him, but at the fact that he doesn’t realize that pleasuring him isn’t a want for you, it’s a need.

Gently, you pat his hip. “Relax, honey,” you encourage him, surprised at how the pet name rolls off your tongue with such natural ease.

Your hands reach for the button of his jeans and you swiftly undo it, then tug at his zipper. You start pulling the denim down his legs. Joel helps you, kicking off his worn, black leather boots before stepping out of his jeans, kicking the article of clothing off to the side. Heart racing in anticipation, you slide his dark boxer briefs down his legs, but stop short, breath hitching the second you feast your eyes on his cock. You’ve felt him through his clothes before, knew he was well endowed, but you’re still shocked to see just how big he really is. The mere thought of his hard, thick length filling you up and stretching your cunt makes your entire body ache with need. You can’t be certain how he’ll fit, but truth be told, he could tear you in half and you would thank him for it. 

Joel draws in a quick, sharp breath when he feels your small hand wrap around his base. Just as fast as he’d breathed it in, it’s knocked back out of his lungs when your other hand joins in and you run your fingertips along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock. He twitches in your hands—you’ve hardly touched him, haven’t even put your mouth on him, and he’s already teetering on the edge.

“Christ, baby. You’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me, I hope y’know that,” Joel croaks, tilting his head back to look up at the rafters as he silently wills himself not to explode too soon. His hips involuntarily jerk forward as you lick his tip, collecting his leaking precome on your tongue before wrapping your soft lips around it. Another loud, ragged groan tears from the back of his throat as you take him in slowly, inch by inch, further into your warm, wet mouth. Your own moaning around him causes a vibrating sensation, making it harder for Joel to keep himself from spilling into your mouth.

“Fuck, peach,” he curses, feeling the head of his cock nudge the back of your throat. He’s more than a mouthful for you, but you accept the challenge with eagerness and take him in further, gagging around him as drool dribbles down the sides of your chin. You, the same woman who just moments ago had said she was nervous about being intimate with him—whoever that woman had been, she was long fucking gone.

Joel’s eyes flit down and he sinks his teeth hard into his lower lip. He can see your silhouette as you work him with that pretty little mouth of yours. One glance is all he can handle before he’s squeezing his eyes shut, the pressure building in his lower abdomen and already dangerously close to reaching its peak. If Joel so much as looks at you again, he’ll come down your throat, and that’s not where he’s planning on finishing tonight.

You bob your head back and forth on his cock, your eyes watering each time he slips past the back of your throat—your cheeks hollow as you suck him greedily, and you alternate between that and stroking his long, thick shaft, your tongue swirling around his head.

Without opening his eyes, Joel reaches down with his hand and cradles the back of your head in his palm. The sounds that fill the barn are nothing short of obscene. His grunts and groans mixed together with the sounds of the moans you’d release in between your wet and sloppy slurping. He forces his eyes open and bravely takes another look at you, his heart slamming painfully against his sternum as you move your head faster, chasing his release as if you’re chasing your own.

“Fuck, baby—wait, stop. Need you to stop.” Joel’s hand leaves the back of your head and he cups your jaw, gently, but firmly, forcing you to release his cock from your mouth with an audible pop. “Ain’t gonna last much longer, not if you keep on like that.”

“Isn’t that the whole point?” you ask, smirking up at him as you wipe the mixture of his precome and your saliva away from your chin with the back of your hand.

Joel leans over and takes your arms, effortlessly yanking you up to your feet. His hand dives between your thighs to get a feel—to find whether you’re ready to take him or not. He slips two fingers between your soaked folds without so much as a warning, causing you to gasp out and grip his biceps, your fingernails digging into the firm muscle. Joel withdraws his hand from your cunt, admiring the way his digits come back coated with your slick. He looks at you, his eyes locking with yours as he lifts his hand to his mouth and slowly licks his fingers clean.

That alone nearly makes you come undone, almost makes you melt into a pathetic, whimpering mess at his feet. 

“Joel,” you say his name pleadingly. “Please.”

Sliding his fingers out of his mouth, he steps forwards and curls them around your wrist. “What is it, my sweet little peach? Hm? What do you want?”

“You. I want you,” you answer. You’re quick to correct yourself. “No, I need you. I fucking need you—I need you more than anything I’ve ever needed in my life, Joel.”

Leaning down, Joel skims the tip of his nose against your cheek before bringing it down along your jawline. “Where, darlin’?” he whispers huskily, sending a shiver up your spine. “Where do you need me, baby?”

Your mouth falls open slightly unable to say it. You don’t know why you’re suddenly shy, flustered as if you just hadn’t been down on your knees gagging around his cock.

“Tell me, peach,” he coaxes you gently with another low whisper. “Tell me where you need me. Tell me where you need my cock, sweetheart. Need to hear you say it.”

“Inside me.” Blazing heat floods your face. “I need you inside of me—I need you to fuck me. Please, Joel.”

“So polite ‘bout it, too,” he remarks. “What a good girl.”

Though he says it in a teasing manner, his praise nearly makes you collapse.

“You like that,” he realizes, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. “Yeah, baby? Y’like it when I call you a good girl?”

“Fuck, I—yes, I do,” you confess.

“C’mere.” Joel wraps an arm around your waist, hand splayed over your back as he lowers you down onto the blanket. He follows suit. You both let out breathy laughs at the way your naked bodies sink down into the pile of hay. Propping himself up with his arm, Joel looks down at you, his smile fading as a serious expression crosses his features. He tucks a lock of hair behind your ear, finger grazing the silkiness of your cheek. “Y’sure ‘bout this, peach? Ain’t too late to stop.”

Smiling softly, you lift a hand to the side of his face, your fingers stroking his graying beard. “I’ve never been so sure about anything, Joel,” you promise him. “If you could take a peek into my mind, you would see how bad I want this, how bad I need this—how bad I need you. I don’t want to stop.” And you don’t just mean the sex. You don’t any of this to stop—the secret, late night meetings, the stolen kisses, the illicit affair. “I’m sure about this. I’m sure about you, Joel.”

That’s all he needs to hear.

Joel reaches down between your bodies, gripping his base, pumping his throbbing cock in his fist before lining himself up at your sopping entrance. Adrenaline courses through your veins—every nerve ending in your body is going up in flames. You spread your legs wider for him, hoping he’ll understand the nonverbal cue. He does. He begins to ease himself into your cunt and you hook a leg around his waist, encouraging him to go deeper. The barn fills with the sound of his grunt and your loud cry at the initial stretch. He sinks his cock further into you until he bottoms out and you cry out again, feeling a delicious burning sensation as he cradles his hips between your thighs.

“M’gonna need you to relax a little sweetheart,” he whispers gently, ceasing his movements to give your body a chance to adjust to him. Joel takes advantage of having you pinned underneath him with your head thrown back and his lips latch onto your neck, hungrily. He fervently kisses his way down the column of your throat, nips his way to your collarbone—but unlike you, he’s careful to do so without leaving any kind of mark behind. He would give anything to have the freedom to leave traces of his loving all over you. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment and the way he’s buried inside you to the hilt that brings out the primal in him, but Joel wouldn’t mind seeing you walk around Jackson covered in his love bites. He wants everyone to know he’s the one who’d left them behind, needs them to understand that you’re his. But that isn’t possible. Joel lifts his head from the hollow of your neck and nibbles lightly at your chin. “You alright, baby?”

Forcing your eyes open, you lift your head and bring yourself to look at him. At first, you feel discomfort, but after a minute, your body finally relaxes around him and it subsides. It’s replaced with the burning desire to feel more of him. The pretty glow coming in from outside the barn illuminates his face and you smile. “I’m better than alright. I’m perfect,” you assure him. You place a hand delicately on his chest, feeling his heart thrum hard against your fingertips. “This is perfect.”

Joel kisses the tip of your nose. He slides out of you slowly, then right back into you in an experimental thrust that brings your body off the blanket, your back arching in sheer pleasure. It’s such a deliciously tight fit, and he almost can’t believe how fucking good it feels to be sheathed in your taut heat. He drops his head, taking your breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around your hardened nipple as he bucks his hips once more. He’s being careful. Too careful.

“Joel—I need you to move,” you gasp. You drag a hand down his chest and over his soft stomach, letting your fingernails rake lightly over his flushed skin. It’s warm to the touch, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. “Joel, please. Fuck me.”

Thankfully, you don’t have to tell him twice.

Joel releases the pebbled flesh from his mouth with a loud, lewd pop. He pulls his cock out of your dribbling pussy, then slams back into you with such force that he places a hand on the crown of your head, keeping you in place underneath him on the blanket. You wrap your own leg around him, locking your ankles together, your heels digging into the firm curve of his ass. You lift your hips just as he rolls his own right into them. The new angle gives Joel the opportunity to fuck you even deeper and he hits the sensitive, spongy spot inside you, making you see stars. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you hold onto him, moans you’ve never heard come out of your own mouth before ringing in your ears and in his. He starts picking up his pace.

“Baby.” He’s breathless and speaks between every snap of his hips. “Fuck, y’feel s’good—s’tight around me—”

“Don’t stop, Joel. God, please don’t fucking stop,” you plead him, your finger burying themselves in his hair. “Keep going, just like that—fuck, you feel so fucking good inside me—”

You bite down on your bottom lip, adoring how Joel squeezes his dark eyes shut each and every single time the head of his cock brushes that one particularly deep spot inside of you. Knowing that you and your body has this kind of an effect on him, it gives you a boost of confidence. You’ve spent the last couple of years allowing a pathetic excuse of a man—if one could even call him that—pick on you, say things about your body, and make you feel like your inability to conceive a child made you defective. Worthless, even. And here’s a real man, one who makes you feel beautiful with the way he talks to you, the way he kisses you, touches you, and fucks you. You’re not perfect by any means, but Joel Miller makes you feel what your own husband doesn’t.

He makes you feel like you’re enough. More than enough.

The barn fills with a combination of moaning, panting, and the sound of damp skin slapping against damp skin.

Glancing down at you, Joel shakes his head and warns, “Ain’t gonna last much longer, baby. M’so goddamn close.”

An unexpected wave of courage washes over you. Planting your hands firmly on his chest, you take him by complete surprise and slide out from underneath him. A small grunt escapes him as you push him onto his back. Amused, you can’t help but giggle at the shocked expression on his face as you guide him to lie down on the flannel blanket. Eager to see his reaction, you keep your eyes trained on his face as you straddle his lap. You grip the base of his cock in your hand and then slowly sink down onto him, your cunt greedily squeezing him as you slide down until you’re fully seated.

Joel’s jaw falls slack. It’s the most stunning sight he’s ever seen.

You, completely naked on top of him, your pouty lips plump and swollen from his kisses. Your smooth, supple skin glows in the moonlight shining through the open window behind you. All while every inch of Joel’s cock was buried deep inside of you, head nudging at your cervix. Eyes glimmering devilishly, the sexiest little smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth. “Like what you see?”

He tries to speak, but he can’t.

You’ve rendered him speechless. 

Grabbing his hands in yours, you guide them to your hips. His blood roars in his ears and his fingers dig into the pillowy soft flesh, holding on as you begin to rock them back and forth. You throw your head back, your hair spilling over your shoulder. The friction of your clit against his pelvis heightens your pleasure. Joel had thought he would be the one to topple over the edge first, but he’d been wrong.

Eyes pinching shut, you start bouncing yourself on his cock, your desperation mounting. You feel the tension between your hips coiling back tightly, ready to snap forward.

“Fuck, Joel—I’m gonna—I’m so fucking close.”

“Yeah, that’s it. Fuckin’ come for me, baby,” Joel encourages you, his fingers digging even harder into your hips. One of his hands abandons your side and he reaches up and gently takes your slackened jaw in the palm of his hand. He coaxes you to look down at him. “Need you to be a good girl and look at me, peach,” he instructs you, slipping his thumb between your parted lips. “Need to see that pretty face of yours when you come all over my cock, sweetheart.”

“Oh fuck—fuckfuckfuck!”

Crying out, you unravel and fall apart all over him, the ecstasy blurring the edges of your vision. 

It doesn’t take Joel much longer to follow. He lets out a low, guttural growl, choking out a string of profanities as he slams you down onto his lap and holds you in place, spurts of warm come coating your velvet walls. Your pussy squeezes him, draining him of every last drop.

You collapse forward onto him in a sweaty, whimpering mess and he wraps his arms around you. With him still inside you, you both lay there and try to catch your breaths as the high slowly but surely begins to wear off.

After a few minutes, Joel pulls out of you and he shifts your bodies, moving you so you’re now laying beside him. Tucking you against his side, he slides his arm around your shoulders and pulls you even closer. His other hand finds one of yours and he takes it, bringing them both to rest on his chest.

“You alright?” he asks you, lacing his fingers together with yours.

“I’m great,” you answer him tiredly, prompting him to chuckle. “What about you?”

Joel strokes at your hair. “Never been better, sweet girl.”

You groan. “Joel, don’t do that,” you mumble into his shoulder. “You’re going to put me right to sleep.”

He laughs again. “We’ve still got a bit more time, y’know. If you’re tired, you can take a quick nap. I can wake you up in ‘bout an hour when it’s time to head home.”

“No, that’s okay,” you decline the offer, worried he would accidentally fall asleep too. “I really wish we could sleep together—I mean, actually sleep together. In an actual bed. Not having to worry about anything. Just like normal couples do.”

“Well, we ain’t exactly a normal couple, darlin’.”

“No, we’re definitely not,” you murmur. You don’t even realize how sad you’d sounded until you feel Joel give your shoulders a comforting squeeze. 

Neither of you say anything else about it as you spend the next hour laying there, tangled up in each other’s embrace, waiting until it was time to go your separate ways.

[friendly-neighborhood-boricua]

[3] Career Fair

Summary: James holds a parents' career fair, to which Liam's mom is invited.

Notes: Marauders modern elementary school AU, kindergarten teacher!James Potter x nurse!reader, mom!reader x son!OC (Liam), inspired by this post by @ravishinglavishingluvr. Hah, remember last time where I said I was updating semi-regularly? Ok well I actually mean it now, I promise lmao. Not edited but I'll do that tomorrow. Also kinda short, sorry

A/N (1/8/2024): okok I came back here to change the names of some kids bc I forgot that this is a marauders au so I can use the names of like real kids from harry potter smhhhhh please don't get mad at me this is my first time writing an au

Previous Part: Seeing Each Other Around Town Next Part: Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift Series Masterlist here

James ended up pushing the career fair back a couple weeks because there was a conflict in the schedule

(not because you emailed him back saying you wouldn’t be able to come the day he had originally planned it)

(and definitely not because he asked you to send him your shift schedule so he could make sure you could come, and you were working overtime for two weeks straight)

(James was pretty sure your work schedule violated some labor laws or something, but he was in no place to question you)

Liam is soooo excited for the couple days leading up to the career fair

Because his mom is cool af and he can’t wait to show everybody just how badass you are

(You had Liam pretty young, so you’re totally the parent who all the kids think is the coolest person alive and who all the kids’ older siblings have crushes on and who all the kids’ parents judge because of your age and assume you’re irresponsible, but we don’t have to talk about that)

James is also excited because he hasn’t had a real conversation with you in a couple weeks and he really just wants to talk to you

Poor Sirius and Remus have had to deal with him swooning and fawning and over you and also helping him frantically prepare for this career fair because “guys it HAS to be perfect”

But at long last, the day finally arrives

James scheduled the career fair in the afternoon so he could threaten children with canceling the event if they misbehave, so both he and his kids are bouncing off the walls in excitement all morning

He eats lunch in the library with Remus and Sirius, and they both spend the entire time hyping him up

(It’s mostly Sirius tho)

“You’ve got this, Prongs—be smooth—be nice—you’re a nice bloke, that’s not gonna be a problem for you—”

And eventually, it’s time

The parents that are participating in the fair arrive ten minutes before James has to get the kids from the cafeteria so he can explain to them what’s going to happen (because god knows the majority didn’t read the goddamn email he sent)

You’re a little late (profusely apologizing again, and it reminds James of the first time you met back at parent-teacher conferences) but you read the email the night before (and take another piece of James’ heart hostage while you’re at it) so it’s no worries

James’ summary instructions take a shorter amount of time than expected, so the ten or so parents all get to talking

And ofc James takes this opportunity to talk to you

You’d emailed back and forth about the fair but you hadn’t really talked in person since that night in the grocery store, and James was starting to feel like he’d die if he went another day without talking to you

So he’s plotting his route to you across the classroom when he notices you’ve secluded yourself a few steps away from the majority of the parents’ conversation

James is also horrified to discover you look slightly uncomfortable

Like you’re somewhere you don’t belong

And of course James can’t have that

So he sidles up next to you and asks how your day is going, if your boss gave you a hard time getting off work early, how the chocolate chip cookie dough from a month and a half ago was—anything he can think of, really

By the time James has to go get the kids from the cafeteria, you’re smiling and laughing, and James desperately wants to keep you like that all the time

He shakes himself out of his daydreamy state on the way to the cafeteria because this is your JOB, James, you can’t be distracted by your favorite student’s mom. His sweet, kind, whip-smart, dazzling … mom …

(In the back of his mind, James knows he’s screwed, he just has no idea what to do about it)

(CERTAINLY not act on it, because that would be a complete conflict of interest and totally unprofessional of him)

(But it’s just a crush)

(It’s fine)

(Right?)

ANYWAY

Liam’s on the lookout for you as soon as he steps through the door, and he beams the sweetest little chubby-cheeked smile when he finds you and points you out to his friends

You wink playfully at him, and he and his friends giggle excitedly as they sit in their seats

If James is being completely honest with himself, the career fair was a little disappointing

The majority of the parents’ presentations were kinda lame

And they didn’t make their jobs understandable or appealing for the kids

Dean's mom (she’s regional manager of a popular grocery store chain) complained to the class about her boss pretty much the whole time

Luna’s father, a rather eccentric professor at the local university, just spewed a bunch of nonsense technical jargon about the soul or the meaning of life or something that not even the adults in the room could understand

And Draco's dad (he owns the local insurance company and is just obscenely wealthy, which explains quite a bit of his son's attitude) straight up said he hated his job, so there’s that

But then there was your presentation

James is sure he’s in love by now because you made being a nurse sound so amazing

You talked about how you’re in charge of taking care of people when they’re sick or hurt, how it’s nice to be able to help people, how even when your job gets hard, you feel like you’ve made a positive impact at the end of the day

Once the parents left, James asked the kids who’s presentation they liked the most

And ofc every kid in that room agreed that yours was the best

And a solid 75% said they wanted to be a nurse lmao and he was just so proud

Proud of his kids and also you because your presentation was just so fucking good

As James is taking the kids out to the buses, Liam thanks him for inviting you to the career fair

Ofc James says it was no problem and that you’re really cool, so it was a pleasure to have you there

And Liam kinda gives James this … look … and is like “… yeah, my mom is cool …”

And James gets this horrible feeling that Liam somehow knows

Knows he’s completely smitten for Liam’s mom

Fallen head over heels

Practically in love at this point (though James has a nasty habit of throwing that word around willy-nilly)

(Liam kinda freaks James out a bit sometimes lmao)

Next Part: Liam and James Make You A Birthday Gift

[kooahae]

After Last Night: The First Date

So...I got encouraged about starting the ALN drabble series since I kind of hinted at it, and received feedback to do so...you voted and the first date wins!

Summary: It’s official! Jungkook wants to have the perfect first date. 

Pairing: best friends to lovers, Jungkook X female reader 

Warnings: None really, maybe a few curse words, light choking during a kiss, This is really fluffy and cute. Jungkook is a simp and we love that for OC! Pet names, kissing, just super cute!

Word count:3K -got carried away bc I love them :)

Read part 1 here if you haven't already <3

Read the next drabble here

It’s been about two weeks since he asked if he could be your boyfriend. He has been busy with work and everything, but he’s still made time for you. He just knows you deserve more than cuddles and sex -not that he hates either of these by any means. Jungkook has been on his A-game the whole time. He's made sure to plan the most perfect date. You haven’t pressured him about one, but he still feels he should treat you like a princess.

He had Jimin call up Yoongi- who is really hard to get ahold of. Partially because he’s revealed he plans on expanding on the restaurant he owns with Jungkook’s older brother. Luckily today, Yoongi had a bit of free time. He even tried Taehyung, but he was busy helping Namjoon set up a new space. Namjoon left the company due to Seojun’s promotion. Hobi was out of town working on some fashion pieces for his upcoming collection. Your brother was way too obvious, and If he had tried his older brother Jin- you really would have known. So yup, that leaves Yoongi. 

Jungkook’s currently in the flower shop getting a custom bouquet of both of your birth flowers. He was still stuck on what color paper to get them wrapped in.  He swears he didn’t know it would be this difficult. He just wants you to be impressed, he wants you to feel like you made a good choice trusting him with your heart. So today has to be perfect!

“Hi, do you need help?” An elderly woman approaches him at the perfect time. Paying attention to her clothes, Jungkook can tell she works here. 

“Uhh…Yeah what color paper should someone get, does stuff like that matter?” He asks her as he looks at all the different ones in front of him 

Jungkook has bought flowers before, but he never went to an actual florist for them to make his own bouquet combo. He would just buy someone the ones in a grocery store most of the time. 

The older woman chuckles “You’re asking about paper? She must be special, I’d get a neutral-colored paper so it doesn’t take away from the flowers. Plus, you’re gonna put them in a vase. Don’t think too much.”

He nods. She’s right, this is her field of knowledge anyway. 

He’s still not satisfied though. 

“Mmm, can I double the amount of flowers? This doesn’t seem like enough.”  he rubs his palms against his jeans, his bottom lip poking out at the bouquet in front of him. He’s down bad, and there simply aren’t enough flowers to give someone as pretty as you. 

“A big bouquet? she’s definitely special! Sure thing. I’m gonna take a guess and say you’re the tiger lily in the situation?” She questions him gathering more flowers. 

He runs his hands through his hair and looks down at his shoes. Damn, he really is obvious. It’s not his fault, he just loves you that much. “How did you know?” He questions. 

“You have smitten lover boy written all over you. You’re worried about paper. I’ve never seen someone so stuck on that. Most men just let me wrap them in whatever, or choose black.” She continues. “Would you like to add a message?”

He nods and takes the pen and card from her. Writing a simple and sweet message. He pays, thanks her for the help, and makes his way

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

His next stop is setting up the rooftop of your favorite childhood hideout.  He even asked Jimin and his mom for baby pictures of you both to put into a snow globe. He’s been coming here thirty minutes before work every day to make sure the floor was swept, the area was free of any trash or things that could make you fall. You guys haven’t been here in a while. 

He decides to check in with his older brother Jin, to see if he thinks what he’s planned is a good idea.

“Hello?”- thankfully he answered his call. 

“Hey hyung, are you busy? Do you have a moment?” Jungkook is desperate for a second opinion. 

“Sure. What’s up?”

“I’m really nervous. I know you’re probably tired of me calling you about my girlfriend, but can I tell you what I’ve planned? Can you tell me if I’m being a little paranoid about her not liking it ?” He says while glancing over his work, phone pressed to his ear, scuffing his feet as he walks to have a seat. 

“Sure Kook, go ahead. I’m listening. Also not tired of hearing about your girlfriend, yet. At least this is one I actually love, and approve of.” Jin really does love you, you’re like his little sister in a sense. Always at the house to spend time with his baby brother as a kid. He’s fond of you for sure. 

“A rooftop dinner, at our childhood hideout”

There’s nothing but silence. 

“Uhh…Hyung…why haven’t you said anything? Is It childish?” Jungkook is really nervous. What is taking Jin so long to answer?

“I’m here. You had more than one so I had to think. The one on the roof? That’s cute man! “ Jin’s impressed. That’s a good sign. 

“Yes, that one! I made a bunch of her favorite foods, set up a projector for movie night, and got a flower bouquet It’s a mix of our birth flowers, and bean bags for the movie, I also got her a gift but like is that too much?” He’s really questioning it all. Normally Jungkook wouldn’t be so unsure. You’re just his everything. You fill him with a great sense of joy. Getting this right is crucial. 

“She’s going to love it.” His brother states on the other end of the phone calming your boyfriend down. 

“You’ve known her your whole life, don’t be so scared Kook. You know her better than anyone else and luckily she feels the same way. Be yourself, that’s who she fell for.” Jin tells him. 

“You’re right hyung! Thank you for always listening to me. I know I’m a lot.” Jungkook makes sure he expresses his gratitude. He’s thankful for Jin. Truly means it. 

“Yes, you are a lot. Now make her the happiest girl on earth.”

“Will do!” Jungkook states before hanging up. He takes one last look around. Everything is finally in place. So he gets up and then heads home to change.  

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Once he gets home he takes his phone out to text you. He forgot to check in with you while he was on the rooftop. 

-Hey baby, how’s your day going? 

Naekkeo🤍🪽: I miss you and I’m hungry!

Yoongi won’t feed me! He’s being weird, can we order dinner?

Jungkook smiles as he reads your message. Yoongi must be getting asked a million questions about food right now. He can already see your frown forming about the lack of nutrients in your body. In your defense, Yoongi does own a restaurant with Jungkook’s older brother Jin. Being food-deprived by him is weird. He decides to play it cool when he responds, but he’s also honest. 

- I can’t wait to hear about your day in person. As far as dinner, of course. See you when you get here!

Jungkook hurries and changes into something comfortable. He knows sweatpants and a hoodie seem crazy for a rooftop dinner and movie. It’s one of his more expensive ones though and he also knows you’re gonna want to cuddle while watching a movie, and that rooftops get a little chilly. He should be himself like Jin said. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

 He finally hears the door open and smiles at the sound of you walking in. He knows you’re doing your usual entrance routine with Bam. Teaching Bam to give you high fives was the coolest thing when he was a puppy. It’s cute that you still make sure he’s included when you walk in. It’s really nice to have you back home too.  

You finally walk into the room and see your boyfriend smiling at you as he sits on the bed, you climb onto his lap and kiss him. 

“Missed you so so much!” you’ve been waiting all day to see him. The excitement in your voice is evident. 

“I missed you too baby.” He says and then he watches you sit your head back up, noticing your brows are now furrowed in. 

“Wait, why are you dressed and not in home clothing? What’s the reason for this shirt blocking my view?” You ask him, tilting your head. You try and lift his shirt but he swats your hand away, cracking up in the process. 

“You can see me shirtless later! You’re about to change into something too. My hoodie is over there. You can keep your jeans on, but I recommend wearing sneakers.”

You tilt your head some more and Jungkook kisses the middle of your forehead.

“Always worrying. I’m taking you to dinner. Go change.” He pats you lightly on the butt.

You smile and get up. Dinner out of the house sounds like fun. You wouldn’t care if it was fast food. You genuinely love spending time with him. Always have. 

You throw on his hoodie and your sneakers since he recommended it. He holds his hand out for you to take, and you both head to his car. Once you’re both inside Jungkook starts searching for something. 

“Ah almost forgot. Blindfold time.” He says flashing a smile, his nose scrunching a little. 

“If you’re trying to kill me for taking so long to be your girlfriend, Jimin will find you.” You joke and he laughs. 

“No one is dying here. If you’re gone, then I can’t be your boyfriend. That would suck.”  He assures you but then continues. “What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t take you on a proper date, hmm?” 

That makes you smile, per usual. You really weren’t expecting a date today. You would have prepared more, but you trust him. He would tell you if you looked crazy leaving the house for sure. Plus, you’re kind of already done up from hanging out with Yoongi.

“Anything you do is great. You would be a mediocre boyfriend though.” You say while pointing at him agreeing. You’re so cute. 

“And I don’t want that. I want to be the world’s best boyfriend. Come here.” He responds

You let him slide the blindfold over you, stealing a kiss before he can adjust the tightness to make sure you can’t peak. 

“You barely hesitated to let me put that on you. You probably like that, don’t you?”He’s laughing. Something you’ll never get tired of hearing. You pick up on his little comment though. 

You reach to feel for his arm since you can’t see, and once you do find it, you slap him playfully. 

“You’re always being kinky!” You say and he laughs some more. 

“You literally tried to strip me of my clothes a few minutes ago on the bed.” Fair point.

“I just wanted a peak!” You can’t even see him but it’s making your heart flutter. Putting one hand on your thigh as he puts the car in gear.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

“Okay, I’m gonna open your door, and crouch down to get on my back, okay baby?”

“You keep calling me baby, only future husbands can do that .” You say as you follow his instructions crouching down. 

“That’s not a problem for me at all. Been waiting my whole life for a chance. We can get married.” He is serious, whether you believe him or not. He doesn’t mean now of course but eventually, he’d love it. 

If Jungkook knows how to do anything- he knows how to make your cheeks red and have you smile like an idiot. You wish you could see his face right now. He probably has a smile as big as yours on his own. 

Once you’re on his back he starts walking and you recognize the movement of him going up some steps. You smile to yourself. He really could have told you to walk but he’s carrying you up flights of stairs, on his back. How can he be so manly but so cute all the time?

“Okay, we are here. I’m gonna sit you down now.” He crouches down and lets you off. You’re safely in the middle. 

“I wanna see!” You say. The amount of enthusiasm you have makes Jungkook’s heart skip. Seriously, Why are you so cute? He’ll have to remember to thank your mom another time for making you. 

He hurries and walks to the table he set up to get the flower bouquet and then he walks to you. Undoing your blindfold and smiling. 

“It’s officially our first date, I wanted to surprise you.” He sing-songs looking at you with the biggest smile on his face. Stretching his arms out to hand you a bouquet. It’s beautiful, just like him. The message with them makes you feel warm inside. 

’Thank you for choosing me, 

I am so happy that it’s finally us!  

HAPPY FIRST DATE TO  MY GIRLFRIEND  (never gonna get tired of calling you that)

- Koo &lt;3 ’ 

As you look around, you feel your eyes get teary and then you smile and look at him. 

“Jungkook! This is so nice!!” You say and reach for his face, kissing him softly on the lips. 

“ I just want you to know I feel really lucky to be your boyfriend.” He holds you close to his chest

“Kook, you really did all this for me?” You say peeking up at him. Jungkook looks down at you. Your pretty eyes glancing back at his. You’re always going to be his type. 

He smiles and nods his head proudly. “Well yeah… because I love you.” He says matter of factly. 

You return his smile. “I love you. I feel really lucky to be your girlfriend.”

“It’s me who should be thanking you for always sticking by my side. You have no idea how horrible things feel when you aren’t there with me. You deserve all of this and more.” He says kissing your forehead. 

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

You’re now situated on the bean bags while the projector plays movies. Sitting in his lap-Just like he knew you would be.

“Do you remember when we found this place? ” He asks you as he holds you, bringing your hand to his lips to kiss it. 

“Yeah, I remember someone dragging me up a weird staircase at ten years old..” You giggle and poke his chest while looking up at him. 

“In my defense, we used to love a good adventure. It wasn’t anything too dangerous. We always stood in the middle. We always take the staircase that leads up here and not the ladder, it’s been a foolproof plan for a while.” He points out and brushes your hair out of your face. You guys have been reminiscing all night. The food was excellent, so now you’re paying minimal attention to the movie. He kisses your cheek and then he just stops. He’s staring at you…

“What?” 

“You’re just really fucking cute.” He says as he leans to kiss you passionately. Jungkook continues “And I’m glad you liked my idea, I spent all day trying to impress you. This just worked out way better than I expected.” He holds you tightly and then remembers something…

He didn’t even show you the snow globe he got to commemorate the occasion. He was too busy making sure you were eating.  He will never forget your face when he got you the first one, he also broke that one but…it was an accident.  He swears! He just finds it cute how happy you get every time he gives you one.

You part your mouth interrupting his thoughts. “I’ve been impressed by you my whole life, you have officially ruined me for any other guy. I was impressed back then, I’m impressed now.” You make sure he understands, as your fingers play with the zipper on his jacket. 

“Thank you, I’m glad that you love me just as much as I love you.” He says again smiling. He’s been doing that a lot lately. So have you. You’re with the right person and it couldn’t feel any better. 

 “You have a present on the table and I forgot to give it to you.” He’s looking at you. Dimples on display, eyebrows raised and another cute little grin is plastered across his face. 

Your head shoots up, so he stands up leading you to the table. Then hands you the box to unwrap the snow globe. A childhood picture of you and a young Jungkook in matching panda onesies from his 4th birthday. You’ve been asking for this photo for years and he always told you no because it was his favorite. 

“Koo! Oh my god! You really are gonna let me have this?”

He nods yeah one more time. He watches you shake the snow globe and skip around out of happiness. He’s happy just watching you enjoy it. Your joy shines through in this moment. He loves it. He loves you.

“If four-year-old me knew the girl who spilled banana milk on my panda pajamas would be the love of my life. He might’ve smiled more in this picture, instead of sticking his tongue out at you.” He says wrapping his arms around you from behind. 

“Interesting, you put your tongue into my mouth nowadays.” You’re so unserious, What is he gonna do with you?

“Now who’s the kinky one? Come here.” He says as he wraps his hand around your neck tilting your head upward lightly choking you as he swallows your moans into the kiss pushing his tongue into your mouth. 

“Proving me right?” You say raising one eyebrow and he nods his head yeah while grinning. Then pecks you one more time on your lips and kisses the tip of your nose. 

“One more gift.” He says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a Jewelry box for tonight’s final touch - a necklace with his initials on it. He carefully places it around your neck. 

“There.” He says kissing the crook of your neck. 

You reach and touch the JK that now sits perfectly on your chest. Jungkook Is the man of your dreams. No question about it. 

“I love this! I’m never taking it off!” You say spinning in his arms to face him and shower him in kisses

“I got a necklace!” You start kissing his right cheek

“And it’s got my favorite person on it!” Now you’re kissing his other cheek. 

“I’m never gonna..” You say kissing him with all your being.

“Take it off.” He says finishing the phrase for you and smiling at you. You’re both giggling and just smiling at each other as he sways you back and forth in his arms. The fondness between the both of you is obvious. 

You both just stare into each other’s eyes for a while until you break the silence. 

“Wanna go home?” You ask him.  

He pecks your lips one more time spinning you in his arms. Your back is now to his chest. So, he slides his hand over your heart, sits his chin on your shoulder, and whispers into your ear.

“I’m already there.” 

Best. First. Date. Ever. 

Taglist: @diorh0seokie @taesungx @kimber-kook @jennafromhome @joyfulwobblerhoagieegg

[nebulousbrainsoup]

ooh ooh ooh! If it is not too much... can I ask for a headcanon for "Secret Admirer: What would they do as a secret admirer" for a member of ateez? Have a good day hehe <3

(~Sky, on anon <3)

see but if you give me the freedom to pick a member, i'm gonna make us both delulu about it. joong it is.

Kim Hongjoong: Secret Admirer

fulfilled as part of my 150(ish) followers event.

PAIRING: hongjoong x gn!reader TAGS/WARNINGS: none! GENRE: headcanon, fluff/romance RATING: G WORD COUNT: 630 masterlist | join my taglist | buy me a coffee?

✵ this is like a game to him

✵ he’s passionate, he goes for what he wants and he gets it done, so if he’s being a secret admirer instead of just asking you out, it’s because he wants to have fun with it

✵ he has a signature, right from the start; the same phrase is always somewhere on the packages he sends you, along with a swipe of whatever nail polish is currently on his finger

✵ so you’ll only figure it out if you pay enough attention

✵ whether or not you notice his little detail, you do pay enough attention to notice that the delivery guy is always the same

✵ it doesn’t matter if it’s bakery treats, flowers, a stuffed animal, or a new bottle of perfume/cologne; the same boba eyes and sheepish smile always peek out at you

✵ i think he’d only do this with someone he’s known for a while bc he’d need to know all of your favorites. he isn’t going to halfass this and be basic about it

✵ although, if he doesn’t know you well enough to know your favorite flower, the victorian flower language will always come to his rescue

✵ truly don’t think you ever receive a rose from this man unless he’s handing it to you himself

✵ the first bouquet he sends you is an arrangement of pink, red and white carnations (representing fascination) and baby’s breath (innocence). the white (pure love/faithfulness) and pink (i’ll never forget you) dominate the spread, with a maximum of three red carnations to hint at his own passionate nature.

✵ he’ll also send you gardenias (secret love) if he catches wind of you being particularly frustrated with his games, just to tease you

✵ he also starts growing pansies (thoughtfulness) so if you’re having a rough week he can just drop by your desk/home/workplace and leave it for you with your favorite sweets

✵ morning glories (love in vain/affection) for if he’s feeling particularly dramatic and scorned

✵ it all seems random to you, but the amount of work this man is putting in behind the scenes is actually insane

✵ forget the lore binder, he has a you binder

✵ he’s ordering things weeks in advance, talking you out of buying things he’s already bought you, etc

✵ at one point the next book in a series you’ve been reading shows up the day after you’ve finished its prequel and you’re mildly concerned

✵ it’s 4d chess in this man’s brain trying to win you over

✵ if/when you finally start to figure it out, he’s completely oblivious

✵ seonghwa has to tell him, bc you cornered the poor man after the latest delivery and asked him outright if your admirer was hongjoong

✵ he didn’t know what to say and scurried off without a word, so you knew

✵ he does freak out about it a little bit, bc he got a little too caught up in the game and forgot there was, in fact, a goal

✵ a few days later, seonghwa delivers you a handwritten note with the first word of his signature phrase on it to you and the first clue to a city-wide scavenger hunt

✵ at the second to last stop, you get the link to a playlist of songs that remind him of you

✵ by the end, hwa’s laden with bags from the gifts hongjoong never got to give you

✵ and once you get there, hongjoong is waiting for you at your favorite shop/cafe/park with your beverage and sweet of choice in front of him, a blue hyacinth (constancy) and a red rose in hand

✵ he had a whole speech planned but he’s too overwhelmed and just grinning, so all he gets out before you’re wrapping him up in your arms is

✵ “i hope you’re not disappointed”

TAGLISTS: permanent [open]: @justhere4kpop @tastymintchocolate @soul-jae @ad0rechuu @seonghwaddict ateez [open]: @pyeonghongrie-main @thatonenoona

banners again from @cafekitsune

© July 2023 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. do not copy, repost or translate my work.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

can i ask for a quick rundown of your mcd and/or mystreet rewrite? i’m a new follower and a tiny bit lost 😭

Ah, Ofc!! this will be a long post, because you said 'quick' and i just heard 'explain everything'. just because I don't know HOW to summarise everything, so I just explain what I can... which is too much.

each section will have a TL;DR if it's long, though.

So, the only rewrite I’ve actually, like, done so far is Amaranth (https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310384)

It’s an MCD rewrite, the first one I did, and it’s not **technically** related to my overall rewrite universe, though I’m not going to totally discredit it. It’s where I got a lot of my ideas, and it was sort of a first draft for me. It’s very similar to MCD, just with events changed to how I would have written them myself. Major change is that the Zane/aphmau engagement actually goes somewhere. My favourite change was the Pikoro arc tho for some reason bc it was just my first significant deviation from the original plot.

Now… cannibalism and cult stuff, yeah?

(Don’t read past this point if you are uncomfortable with discussions of human-on-human meat/organ consumption)

Lycoris Radiata (https://archiveofourown.org/works/50710504) is the only part of this current era of rewrite!Aphverse that has any content so far.

TL;DR for this section: i mostly just emphasised themes present in canon, there's cannibalism for magical reasons, Shad is more relevant early on, and there's a reason why characters look like that when i draw them, i promise. Also, cult stuff!

LR is an MCD rewrite, which has some lore changes. It begins with Avra (Aphmau) travelling with Visher, Garroth being angsty, and so on. Only the prologue and first chapter are currently posted, and you don't need to read Amaranth to begin it (though it will follow similar storylines later on). Basically, the main premise is that it’s kind of a criticism of imperialism, organised religion, and so on. Those are themes already present in original MCD, and so I… expanded. Blood Magic is the main magic focused on as well. It's the kind that Avra uses, and it's the kind that makes SKs function. Avra has to consume blood and meat (typically organ meat, preferably human) in order to have any amount of magic, and depending on what creature the meat comes from, also grants her some fun little magical extras. She also has a strong association with Judgement(Shad) in my rewrite, and there is a reason I draw them so often together. Most character changes you'll see have some lore-based backing for it. Characters who are made darker-skinned, or have had their haircolour changed, it's typically due to them belonging to a particular ethnic group that i made for Ru'Aun or Tu'La, which does impact their characters in the way that they obviously grew up under certain cultures. Sometimes it'll just be because I think it looks cool, or for visual/thematic parallels with another character. If you're ever curious as to knowing why i have certain characters looking the way I do, then just ask. Oh, also, people aren't just loyal to Avra because she's nice. there's like an actual cult thing that begins happening and to say there's some weird shit with that would be... underselling it.

A Royal Tale, and Mermaid Tales both fall into the timeline between LR and the MyS rewrite. they're quite insignificant series, but i decided to devote myself to being a completionist.

My plans for them aren't really set in stone yet, but I know i want to expand upon them and their lore a lot more, and they will eventually both fall into the, uh, cannibalism and murder theme of the rest of the rewrites. they'll likely be little side projects. I have trauma from ART tho. Show makes me *uncomfy*

Mystreet.... yayyyy...

No official name for the rewrite yet, I'm working on it.

TL;DR: If you let an edgy teenager write MyS but they also watched desperate housewives so they write some sitcom episodes on the side. Also, Avra needs that gross-tasting nailpolish that stops you from chewing on your nails... but like... all over her body.

Basically, MyS except they've always been reincarnations of their MCD (or LR, in this case) selves, with some residual trauma and habits because of that. I'm going to lean more into the darker seasons, even though Ik popular opinion is that the light-hearted ones were the best, and I'll just focus more on lore and stuff. PDH has a 17 year old Avra joining PDH, after being homeschooled for a while due to having some mental health issues. I'm going to go a little more 'general highschool drama' vibes, might have some mystery shit idk. Will be less cringe than canon, because yes, i'm cringe and i'm free, but even i have limits. The more lighthearted seasons might just be amalgamed into one big 'sitcom style' fic, which will be set before S4 and such, but i'll probably make lighthearted chapters between the serious ones. S4, Aphmau's Year, S5, S6 and Her Wish will be my main priority, and will go into the whole murder and cannibalism theme of LR. It'll already have been kind of expanded upon, because MyS!Avra has a bit of a habit of auto-cannibalism (eating the skin around her nails/on her fingers, on the inside of her cheeks and on her lips) which eventually just... goes a little crazy. There is gonna be cult stuff in MyS too, it just might present differently to how it does in LR. Or maybe similarly. Idk, depends on how you view it.

[carniferous]

hi dil! i am very interested in buddy system! tell me more 🤲🏻

wooo okay so. this is the pandalily fic that definitely will not be posted until ibhfts is finished so the idea is very long-term. it's my love letter to accidental magical bonding fics. it's my stab at writing lily and pandora and their dynamic even though the entireity of it is like seeing the yuri shadows on the wall and going crazy. i run a jegulus blog this should be no surprise to anyone

the general plot is: it's the summer after lily has graduated from hogwarts and she receives a letter from slughorn offering her an apprenticeship with him. at first lily is going to refuse on account of the whole War situation but she eventually decides to do it for the summer. so she arrives at slughorn's cottage in the cotswolds and she discovers... pandora! who is also doing an apprenticeship with slughorn!

this is partially me filling in the gaps of how pandora came to separate herself from the pureblood world. i don't think she completed her schooling at hogwarts partially bc she just felt that hogwarts didn't have anything valuable left to teach her and also partially bc she was just carrying so much grief over what her closest friends were becoming. literally imagine being 17 and all your friend join a blood supremacy cult. i would not be able to cope. i do think this is less of a moral objection on pandora's part (though i think she Does have some vague moral objections to it) and more like Why Are We Throwing Our Lives Away For Some Guy Named Tom? what's central to pandora's character imo is her need to carve out a life for Herself. she is never going to let her life fly off the rails the way regulus and (to an extent) barty and evan did. she's never going to place herself entirely in someone else's hands (in this way, she contrasts evan. in twin relationships, i always treat one twin like the independent variable and the other twin like the dependent variable. it's like how in the locked tomb series by tamsyn muir one twin always refers to herself as "i" while the other only ever says "we". to me, pandora is the "i" twin. evan is "we" twin. she's the independent variable to evan's dependent variable)

so in the fic she's staying at slughorn's while she attempts to Figure Stuff Out. she's working for him. he's happy to let her (she wasn't a member of the slug club but she's still rosier yk?)

okay so remember how i said pandora will not let her life get thrown off the rails? well. in comes lily. and they have a potions accident and get magically bonded together. at one point lily jokes that their Bond is like the magical version of the buddy system (it requires them to be in close proximity) hence my funny haha title. and their lives end up sort of intertwined around each other while they work to figure out how to undo the bond.

i like pandalily a lot mainly bc of what it means for two characters whose endings are so clearly written out (almost mythologized in that sense) to make a new story for themselves just by virtue of proximity. they're the Dead Moms. they're the Brilliant Witches. their children were friends and neither of them were ever around to see it bc they were too busy being Dead and Brilliant and Beloved. the question of what would happen if their stories had crossed paths is like. crazy to me.

pandora is very the handmaiden "my savior who came to tear my life up. my tamako. my sookee" about lily. lily is the savior who came to tear her life up.... pandora had a Plan she had a list of what she Would and Would Not do and lily barged into her life and tore it all up. not even on purpose! imagine if a potion spilled all over you and suddenly this random stranger was bonded to you for an indefinite amount of time. and imagine if this random stranger's life weirdly mirrored your own right down to the life they'd given up in order to have the life they wanted. she's Jealous of how well lily's life has turned out bc lily did the whole giving-up-your-family thing and ended up with a group of friends who adore and cherish her. pandora left her family behind and now she lives alone in a cottage. she writes letters to her brother and her old friends and they reply but it will never be how it used to be and i think she looks at lily and sees an element of youth she wishes she could still cling to (which is funny bc lily is older than her).

from lily's perspective, pandora is just like endlessly fascinating to her. she has a brother she loves more than anything yet she still left him behind. she's from a old pureblood family yet she's not a blood supremacist. she's a faerie princess wandering around this fairytale cottage and she has NO cares for laboratory safety. she's the most brilliant person lily has ever met. it's driving her crazy. she's clawing the walls up with how much she Needs to fuck her. this is a new experience for lily..... i think she's pretty used to have a handle on her desires. she never wants what she know she can't have--she's logic-driven like that. and in a way.... it's bc of how logical and clear-cut and methodical she is that she can't escape the story being laid out for her. escaping it would mean giving in to the desire that has always existed in the back of her mind to tear her life to shreds (a desire that pandora has Never had, mind you). pandora is like this lonely little bird-creature of a girl and lily has this horrible desire to just Mess Her Up a little. it makes her feel kind of bad. she's going to do it anyway

[bravopotato]

Virus Mlp ideas

Okay so I'm not actually that into Mlp but I have been seeing these horror virus Mlp series so uh yea! :D

Basically, my idea is that it started orally. What do I mean? Well, I haven't really cleaned the idea up yet (I don't plan to actually use these so why should I?) but the idea is that Pinkie Pie basically got a cupcake as a gift from a friend who was at a party she had recently hosted. However, unknown to the two of them, the cupcake had gotten an influx of magic or something in it. So basically uh- you know their cutie marks??

Well, they have magic in them (I think???) and I feel like magic will almost always be warm/hot unless in other circumstances. So, how do they get them? I imagine it like most people imagine Undertale monsters get them, food! So, if a certain cupcake has an unreasonable amount of mafic in it then surely it would have bad side effects for the poor victim

And so this is how I imagine the symptoms are:

-Overheating

-Heat related irritation to the Cutiemark

-The glowing of the Cutiemark

-Aggression (caused by near constant overheating of the body and especially Cutiemark)

-Obsession/compulsion to complete tasks related to cutie mark (In Pinkie's case, she has random bursts of energy ((From the heat bc particles or something)) and will jump around trying to find items or just different ways to start a party or get everyone in a good or silly mood like what comes from parties)

-Lack of sleep (Duh, overheating)

-Headaches (Heat related, always heat related)

-And, most concerningly, the melting of the inside body

But why are they melting!? And how soon does this happen?? Well, because of the immense amount of magic the magic needs to form somewhere and so it chooses the closest thing to it, heat (Wow, so shocking). However, normal ponies can't handle that much and can melt. So, despite the magic trying not to EXPLODE in the body or something it's still harming the pony who isn't equipped to handle it even throughout their entire body.

Now, that's how the 'virus' works. But how would the ponies react and how would they be transferred the virus? Well uh- idk. BUT, it does turn airborne as (I'm trying to actually figure it out for yall bc I forgot abt this part srry ;p) the magic is trying to safely enter the body but can't leave all at once because of magic deficiency as well as heat deficiency. So, it goes to other ponies, and some ponies also get it orally which spreads it faster or something.

And so, Rarity soon gets afflicted with it. Unlike the now overactive Pinkie Pie, Rarity has gotten slower. It's like her own bones are melting first, so much sowing and dress making has made her 'arm' wrists worn and easy for melting. And so, she huddles in her home making dress after dress for all the people she can think of, friends, family, enemies, strangers she'd seen around town. Everyone, some even getting multiple. She knows she is ill and while Sweety Bell wants to help her sister, Rarity hides her issues as to not worry the only young sibling she wishes to have. She wishes to use her generosity to the fullest in what she believes will be her final months. She could be correct, if the magic continues to uncomfortably heat her body up like a pot being boiled. Sadly, no one has noticed the most blatant sign due to the fact that she wears dresses, suits, anything to hide her glowing Cutiemark. While she loves her mark and it's color, she cannot stand the glow as it reminds her of the sweltering heat of her home. Maybe she should open more windows, that will help right?

The next person who gets afflicted (Not come into contact) is Rainbowdash. I don't have a way she get's afflicted so I'll just make it up and you can flesh it out yourself. Rainbowdash had been so worried for Pinkie, yes she'd always been energetic but this was almost concerningly so. Her pink hair had gotten fluffier, and while Rainbowdash doesn't mind it's a sign that Pinkie's going too fast and is messing with her hair. So, she talks and hangs around Pinkie, nervously trying to see what's wrong and how to help. She is loyal after all. However, it comes to her falling as the magic has clung to her and made her faster than ever. She has Pinkie's issue, being too energetic. She doesn't understand why, but she can't help but want to fly and speed around all day with no breaks. And so she does, she speeds across town and forest and city and ocean, and then back home. It would have made a Sonic Rainboom, but only if she stopped. Passerby's see her and mention only one identifiable thing, her almost aflame rainbow hair. It's frizzed and spiked leading behind her due to her flight. She doesn't seem to notice. Maybe she can fly this energy and heat off...

AppleJack is next, and I didn't make any for her either. However, her affliction is probably pretty clear. She probably becomes more worried for her farm, obsessively thinking about it and her apples. Oh, her apples. She starts worrying about missing one, so she goes to the farm every morning and afternoon and she kicks her trees as hard as she can. Her hooves hurt, and the trees are dented and scary looking and look almost rotting, but she knows she must do this. She must be able to let her family farm thrive. So, if she has to ugly things up a bit, she doesn't mind. Granny does though, as well as her brother and sister. They don't know how to stop her worries.

Fluttershy would probably never leave her home, tending to her animals and trying to cool them off. It's so hot here, they must be so warm too. Yet, they freeze and chitter as if in winter. How odd. Surely, if she makes them colder like she wants someone to do to her, they will feel better. She'd feel better colder. The animals must be too hot. It's way too hot. Maybe she should add snow?

Spike probably can handle the heat tbh lmao

Twilight Sparkle is the second person to come into contact with the 'Virus', after Pinkie of course. She instantly notices her being ill and constantly tries to help yet she's so bouncy she gets out of her grasp. She ends up going to Celestia, who is bothered by this. How could Pinkie be so sick? Yet, it gets worse. More and more cases pop up, everyone is overheating in autumn and Twilight is concerned. I imagine she's in her princess wing and horn combo, so she can handle the heat and not get sick. Does she know that? No, but she's always been a little cold after being gifted wings.

Celestia and Luna both have never personally come across this disease, their bodies are built to withstand heaps of magic as it takes a lot to handle the actual sun and moon. So when everyone is hot because of magic, they both don't understand. They've been so cold for so long, it's hard to imagine such heat. Will they ever understand the issues of their kingdom? Maybe.

Chrysalis is.. Okay, so my first idea was that her army was like her kids??? I was thinking of bugs honestly lol. But the idea was that her army would get sick with the 'virus' (She had captured a sick pony and they got the sickness airborne) and because of their lack of cutie marks they would end up weaker. Also, because of their holes I imagine that they aren't all that strong/immune to illnesses so when they're struck by this they're all in despair. Why? Because they're MELTING. They are seeing each other melt and die to the heat and they don't understand it. Why wont their mother save them? Will Love help? How much love can fix this, and can they obtain it? The queen is doing no better, seeing all her people go so ill they cannot move. She herself, while much stronger, is not able to combat the magic and has faced her own weakness in her limbs. She blames the ponies of Equestria for this, for if that one pony had not been here no one would be dying. Of course, this is absolutely a genocide plan created by Celestia and Twilight, if she can get her hooves on them she'd make sure that everyone knew how much a lie immortality is.

However, she is unaware of how mistaken she is

Anyways that should be all if anyone wants to use it feel free bc I wont!!! I probably would help too tbh!! Idk, have fun :p

[wrongcaitlyn]

about your series dear reader, will we ever get to see Nico having a collab or featured song in the future... heehe... love your work btw

thank u for the ask!! and thank u for reading i’m so glad you like it <3 i’ve actually thought abt this quite a bit!! the thing with collabs, is that either i could use an irl celebrity, or i could make a character a celebrity and make them work with nico—so here are my thoughts on both options:

1) a real celebrity - i try to stay away from involving real life people in the fic, as in interactions, because i don’t know any of those people irl and i would hate to, like, mischaracterize someone or write positively abt someone who eventually gets revealed to be like a shitty person, yk? the most i’ve ever done, i think, is that one time i mentioned nico taking a picture with lorde - but even then, it wasn’t him talking abt her, it was just a picture that was posted. that, and the absurd amount of taylor swift name drops that i have, which i will never stop😭

basically, though i have considered it (my mind is literally CONSTANTLY imagine collabs of nico and other celebs/other songs), i literally have a playlist of them, i don’t think i would ever include it in the fic. simply bc of the concerns mentioned above :/

(however, i would like everyone to know that ive been imagining nico as a surprise guest on the rep tour, and having him featured on rep tv, for like- literally as long as ive had this au in my head. ill never write him collating with taylor (bc again idk i just feel strange writing abt real ppl) but in my head, it’s canon)

2) creating a new celeb - this one is hard, pretty much bc i’m… out of characters.

like, i still HAVE characters to use, but i already have plans for most of them and a majority of them aren’t actually part of the music industry. i could justify a collab between alex and nico bc she’s like the only music person i have written, but i also don’t wanna force that

if i ever do, which i doubt, bc i don’t have any plans to at the moment, it’ll be a pjo character, i just don’t have any idea of who that would be :/

oh and! last reason why i’m hesitant to add a collab - i feel like nico writing music is so engrained with him working with apollo as a producer, and their studio dynamic. obviously, it’s good to step out of your comfort zone, but i think that it’s also some sense of caution and comfort between them, that they’re the same people who will work on every nico di angelo song and album.

either way, i have seven albums outlined in total. the time span of greatest of luxuries goes from 2018-2024. that may be subject to change, but im feeling pretty confident abt it (it used to be 2028 btw😭) and anything PAST that time range is completely up to the reader!! i have lots of ideas of what could happen beyond that seventh album, and i have an idea (and a playlist) of the eighth album, but i can definitely imagine a lot of features in the future as he branches out. (and also him on rep tv. or ttpd. will update when ttpd comes out if i think there’s a specific song he’d slay as a feature on)

and lastly, for features. yes. he is on the hunger games tbosas soundtrack bc i say so‼️

(i imagine yellow flicker beat by lorde, even tho that was written for mockingjay, i just feel like it fits his vibe, but also, can’t catch me now works perfectly too)

[deadqueernoldor]

End of Year Fic Recs!

I got tagged by @camille-lachenille for this, and boy I havent had time to read fic in a hot minute but this was literally the perfect opportunity to go through my ao3 and tumblr bookmarks again! Also I feel really bad that I couldnt get 5 for the first 3 categories, so pls dont take it personal if I forgot. My tagging system is a mess and idk if it works but if you want more tumblr writing recs go into the "writing that has me foaming out the mouth like a rabid dog" tag I have at the top of my account.! There's so many good drabbles and ficlets i couldnt possibly name them all! Also i likely could have tagged other author's tumblr accs but i didn't feel like looking bc I'm exhausted. I love these all sm

Also I cheated with the self rec bc one is from 2022 but I didnt want to rec only my OC lol

Recommend up to 5 series or multi-chapter fics from 2023 that everyone should read (multi-year WIPs count, if the last update was in 2023).

Beneath a Boundless Sky by @runawaymun — ongoing — Rating (M)

Summary: Elrond’s two new wards both struggle to feel at home in Rivendell. The wounds from their slavery in King Frumgar’s court are still fresh, and the scars are deep -- and they’re not the only ones. Maglor is home at last, but each day he lives he is haunted by guilt and grief. Elrond is nothing if not patient, and he is certain that given enough time in Rivendell, all three will heal.

I am always frothing at the mouth at OCs and world building and this work *and the prev work/part 1 of the series* is SO good

dare you see a soul at the white heat? by millyfaraway — ongoing — Rating (M)

Summary: Lómion is reembodied, but struggles to cope. His uncles try to help.

BABY BOY GETS FAMILY THERAPY ABBY BOY SLOWLY GETS CONFIDENCE AND PUPPY LOVE SOBBIG ITS WHAT HE DESERVES anyway go read

The Last Heir of Fëanor - Part Two by Astrance — 87k — Rating (T)

Summary: This is the second part of the tale of the surviving child of Celebrimbor of Eregion and how she fared through the Ages of the world. From the Fall of Ost-in-Edhil to Imladris and the vastness of Second Age Eriador, the fight against Sauron seems never ending. Plans have been set in motion across the Misty Mountains, but, in Lindon, many tasks await.

Have I mentioned how much I love OCs? This is literally one of the best OCs I've read, flaws and all, and the way the whole thing is written is chefs kiss. Cant decide if I'm sweating from the amount of sobbing I've done with this work *and the previous/first part* or because of the delicious angst.

and rain will make the flowers grow by @swanmaids — 800 — Rating (G)

Summary: Glorfindel and Idril; on the Helcaraxë, in Nevrast, in Gondolin.

THEM. THEM. THEM. That's all I have to say. bUT THEM!

Recommend up to 5 single chapter fics/one-shots (long or short) from 2023 that everyone should read.

your veins are empty of dust by @echo-bleu — 1.7k — Rating (G)

Summary: Anairë finds her late one day in her workshop, surrounded by slabs of stone larger than her. Nerdanel is hammering forcefully at one of them, the barest hints of an elven shape already taking form in the marble. Bitter, stinging tears run down her cheeks and into her collar, and her arms ache with exhaustion.

The body is only barely sketched, but the face is already chiselled, smooth curves and angular cheekbones.

Fëanáro emerges out of the marble, looking like he’s about to take life.

(Across the sea, her sons lead a funeral.)

Frothing. Gnawing. I love the writing. The angst. Fucking mourning. Gimme all and then hurt me some more.

Babysitting #01 by @lordgrimwing — more chaps likely, atm oneshot

Excerpt: "She brought her children."

"Who did?”

"That Elwing woman, the pro bono case Celegorm talked me into."

Modern!scenario fix with Exhausted!lawyer!maedhros. He's tired and that's very sexy of him. Maglor is secy. They all are. Idiots. But very sexy. Elrond and Elros best boys. No argument.

Dreams of Doom by @camille-lachenille — 3.8k — Rating (M)

Summary: “She runs in the dark, alone. Where her feet carry her, she knows not, and her heart is heavy with dread. Someone - something - is watching her.”

Niënor from the moment she arrives in Brethil to her death.

THE ANGST THE LOVE THE TENDERNES THE FORESHADOWING I AM BITING THIS BC I CANT FIND GLASS TO CHEW.

Recommend up to 5 fics NOT from 2023 that everyone should read (oldies but goodies.)

Those Peaceful Hours by SpaceWall — 3.9k — Rating (T)

Summary: At the end of the Third Age, faced with her impending return to the home she left before the sun, Galadriel seeks out the one person who will understand her fears and grief.

It's so well written and the premise as a whole is so great!. Compelling and Galadriel characterisation is just so very sexy to me.

Their oath will drive them, and yet betray them by musing_and_writing — 2.2k — Rating (G)

Summary: Elrond had hours to spare, and if Maglor wished to spend the short time they had together reminiscing, he would not blame him for it. As Maglor began singing, Elrond settled himself across the clearing in his own bed of autumn flowers. Maglor’s voice resounded in the clearing, clear and powerful, just as it had upon his fortress’s ramparts as he pushed back Morgoth’s forces with a Song, just as Elrond assumed it must have echoed before the poisoning of the Trees in his family’s halls as Feanor crafted his cursed jewels.

Hehehehehe cryptid mf with a heart I love it the angst the tenderness it's just so *holds gently* while also *bodychecks maglor*

Double The Baggins, Twice The Took by fogisbeautiful — 138.5k — Rating (T)

Summary: The Baggins twins, Briallen and Bilbo, have spent their whole lives taking care of each other. So when the world outside makes an (uninvited) appearance, only one thing is certain. Not for wizard or king or mountain or dragon will the two of them part. Not if they have one word to say about it.

And besides, as Gandalf points out: It never hurts to have a spare burglar on hand.

I'm a sucker for Thorin x hobbit, and you give me a fic with bilbo's sister who's so lovely characterized? I'll kiss you sloppy style

The One With All The Birds by clothonono — 46.5k — Rating (G)

Summary: Would it never end? Would there always be one more mother standing on the shore, looking out to sea, full of a grief made more terrible by hope?

Elwing and Nerdanel in Valinor in the Fourth Age; a story about children coming home.

I think swanmaids recc'd this to me once upon the time when it hadn't been finished and I want to kiss their forehead for it. It's so good! Go read bc I lick my screen every time I re-read it.

Recommend up to 5 of your own fics (completed or WIP) from 2023 that everyone should read.

Bitter end — 6.4k — Rating (T)

Summary: Maglor has one brother left.

Both have one more fight in them.

The ghost you dress up as (knows how to haunt) — ongoing — Rating (M)

Summary: Maedhros was not the first Finwëan to be captured and taken to Angband, nor did he remain there the longest. Ranyatinwë, twin of Caranthir, was the first.

She escapes.

(Series) Old Maggie Took — 7 works — 402k — all Rating (G)

Summary: The headcanon about Maglor, second son of Fëanor, lives hidden in the Shire? Yes.

[itsseohannbin]

Hannji Rambles / Another Life Update

hiiii Pookies!!

Hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves!!!

I'm just popping in with a quick life update (cause apparently I'm having a lot of those lately) to kind of let everyone know what's been going on lately.

I know I said a couple weeks ago that I was ready to come back to tumblr and begin posting again, and I am, however, there's been a bit of a change of plans in regards to me starting up my writing/posting fics again.

Because I have been put on a temporary stress leave by my family doctor for the next couple weeks, I'm trying to reduce the amount of stress/triggers in my life until my next appointment, where I will be reassessed to determine if I'm fit to go back to work or not. I want to continue writing and posting because writing has always been a strong outlet for me to relieve stress and clear my brain when the noise gets too much, however, I need to make changes to what I will posting in order to help keep my stress levels under control.

SO,

that being said, I will be posting the remaining few parts/chapters of Like A Volcano (for all my Hannie stans out there who are ever so patiently waiting), BUT at this time, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV for this fic. I wanted to, and I was super excited to write a part in his pov, but I've been struggling with writing it for the last few months and it's really put a damper on my already not-so-good mental state. Maybe in the future, I will upload a snippet, but since the idea of creating a Jisung POV for LAV is causing more stress than it's worth, it will be put on the backburner for the time being. I AM SORRY FOR THOSE WHO WERE WANTING IT I JUST CANNOT WORK WITH IT RN!

However, the last few parts will be edited/revised and posted in the coming week-ish so I can finally put that fic to rest and start up The Blackened Heart again bc I am so so excited to start writing that again!

In addition to the Jisung POV being scraped (for the time being), I am also putting a halt on the LAV spinoffs I had in the works (Connected, which is the Chan x Jo spin off, and Waiting For Us, which is the Minho x Ash spin off) simply because both of them are causing more tension and stress than necessary.. I don't like it when writing feels like it's becoming a chore, I'd rather write stuff that I'm excited to write and post, and that entire AU series has quickly become the opposite of what I want to do... I will be coming back to them eventually, but as of right now, I need to do what I can to alleviate the amount of distress in my life, and that means putting LAV/Connected/WFU on hold.

I am happy to say I will be continuing my commission for the lovely @bethanysnow that I've been slowly working on while I get back into the swing of things, ((beth baby i am so sorry its taking so long im just really struggling right now so please bear with me :( )) and I'm of course still writing drabbles, fake!text posts, and my OT8 "The L Word" series.

Thank you all for the never-ending support and love I'm still receiving from a lot of you despite my inactiveness. Just know I read every single one of your comments, reblogs, and things that you all tag me in. I am still very much here in spirit, just slowly working my way back up to being a fully functional human being

In the meantime, as some of you may already know, I am starting a small business where I make beaded keychains, rings, lanyards, bracelets and more. Beading has very quickly become a safe haven for me and its very therapeutic to just sit for hours watching tv and making stuff to eventually sell. I am starting up an instagram account specifically for this business called Hannji's Creations, so if you're interested in what I'm making and such, feel free to give me a follow over there. I'm making a lot of SKZ themed stuff, however, I'm also opening up ideas for other kpop groups and other styled collections in general.

Thank you again to everyone who has stuck around and checked in on me these last few months. I know life can be tough sometimes, and lately I'm having a hard time getting back up somedays, but you guys all make it more bearable, so thank you. thank you for your continuous understanding and unconditional love..

You guys are awesome!

can't wait to show you all what's in store!!

Much Love,

Hannji <3

[atti-rambles]

wow what a great way to end the series i'm like content,,,, sure the anime had some issues but with what we got it was a very consistently good anime,,,, gonna miss the daddies that are buddies,,

anyways i was too lazy to screenshot parts of the episode so you only get text but hey listen to me ramble for a bit

the beginning threw me off ngl bc i was like damn they are already home wtf how it made me remember the earlier episodes so that was a good callback,,,, even if i was too stupid to realize it until later lol

also rei was very father in this episode and you can interpret that in either definition ig it works. small things like wanting to dress up as santa for miri so she can believe in him bc he was never able to or big things like showing his father how much his new family means to him by shooting his shoulder,,,, it's so beautiful the way he evolved

his father not shooting him even when his back was turned was the perfect way to finish his relationship with his father. i know a ton of people were worried he was getting redeemed or that he was gonna die or something like that. but no he was talked to and shown that his son will never continue the family line and his dad quietly accepted it. he didn't want to nor did he even plan to, but he eventually say it wasn't worth it and i think that was the best way to finish that plot point.

when miri saw her dads in the crowd at her recital i cried reminded me of my own christmas performance when i was her age,,,, also miss anna having to control herself so she didn't go crazy on the piano was a nice touch

omg the family has matching santa outfits it's so cute

ever since i started this series i was hoping for a big time skip and we finally got it and omg 😭 miri is grown and kazuki and rei own a cafe together,,,, that is the most gay shit i've ever seen. also seeing miri say good morning to her mom made me cry a little.

you can really see how miri is influenced by all three of her parents now that she's older,,, she even has the haircut like her papas have,,, so cute

i am glad the series ended this way, although i wish we got more (i am selfish) this is a good amount of content.

i will never get over kazuki beard it will haunt me,,, i don't doubt fanartists will fix that for me tho lol

it's strange i've been watching this episode every week and talking about it, being a part of the community,, and now it's suddenly over,,, kinda sad but i'm not heartbroken or anything,,, but i'll miss the buddy daddies fridays,,,

now that the series is over maybe i'll finally write fanfics for it,,,, who knows,,,

[chirpsythismorning]

Would a potential writers strike actually affect Stranger Thinks production at all? The fact that the actors are all over the place for scheduling (unsurprising, they're all amazingly talented) it's very doubtful they will be filming episodes chronologically. Schedules have to be created from scripts in order to say who would be on set which days so wouldn't that mean all the episodes are written already? They've had since 2020 to work on the episode outlines (the part that takes the longest amount of time). The writing of a script from an outline usually only takes a couple of weeks (per the Duffer Brother's own masterclass lessons). Writers room may only have re-opened SM accounts last year after S4 aired but I imagine this far into the series run, writers room should just be airing out the final kinks with each ep under one/two writer's care.

It’s standard practice to have the writers still writing the final episodes while starting to film the first ones. The Duffer’s did talk about this within the last year and basically confirmed it is usually the case for them, admitting the writing process for s4 was unique bc obviously they had a lot of time on their hands to focus on it with the hiatus.

They started filming s4 in Feb 2020. Hiatus put filming to a halt, I think it was March 8th 2020 or sometime around then. Then in June they posted a picture of the s4 scripts complete. And filming didn’t start up again until Sept/Oct 2020. So it still took them another couple months, even with hiatus, to officially finalize writing those last episodes, despite starting filming already.

I think Noah’s comment about the first three scripts a couple months ago (right?) could mean that at the very very least the first three were quite finalized at that time, enough to warrant sharing with the cast to prep.? By now they could have up to the 5th-6th more finalized at least. But maybe more?!

When it comes to the writers strike, I honestly can’t say for certain.

I would hope with how hands-on they are in including fans by informing us about certain milestones in the production process (they will definitely announce when s5 is officially in production on their social media), that they would disclose how this could affect s5, if a strike does in fact come into effect.

I would hate it if the strike started and they just went MIA for a month+. I know the longest strike in recent history was like 3-4 months I think? So that’s a fear that I have I guess, of them just disappearing and not even giving us crumbs to go off of in the mean time for fun.

But the duffers are also show runners and producers and directors, so I wonder if that means they’d just use them in place of the writers while filming? It would really just come down to solidarity and wanting to stand beside the people supporting the strike, which I assume the duffers fully support, so would they even undermine the strike and work despite it? I don’t know honestly.

Best case scenario, if a strike does happen, perhaps they would focus on the most fleshed out parts they already have written and don’t need rewrites for. Early s5 scenes are also what they are gonna prioritize filming anyways bc when it comes to marketing and promo they need that stuff filmed before the rest so they can have spoiler free content to share sooner than later, whereas only filming like the major stuff near the end, would mean little to no promo with canon content for them to share as time goes on. I mean, have you ever seen an official trailer use mostly later content from the season to promote it? It’s not unheard of to have some later stuff thrown in, but more often than not it just works out bc they don’t want that later stuff to be spoiled before the early stuff.

The promo we get the soonest will likely be from scenes in the first few eps so I do hope that with all things considered, there’s a possibility they could get the ball rolling and film a few things. Especially if they had so much planned out while filming s4, like s5 opener I could see being something they want to get out of the way asap especially if they have that the most fleshed out with concrete plans set in stone more than like a random scene near the end of the season, which still warrants some edits and doesn’t need to be finalized anytime soon anyways.

With how active they are rn, posting every Friday with a little assignment for the fans, has me hopeful they are planning ahead and don’t have the intention to step back and disappear even in the worst case scenario? You’d think they are aware of the worst case scenario rn and yet they’re just keeping it simple and having fun. And all the while filming rumors are already starting.

I’m not trying to stress about it bc it’s out of anyone’s control unless they manage to meet an agreement that’s worthy of not striking. I support them regardless of my bias to have ST start filming asap. Writers and a lot of aspects of this field deserve to be compensated for their hard work and I stand by that. If it takes a strike to make them get some results, so be it.

[autocon23]

I’m Literally In Hell

I have so many goddamn work in progress fics that I have quite a bit of work done already (though, I’m not ready to post any of them, other than the multipart series that many of you already know about). So, you know what? You all get to know what I’m doing and can tell me I’m a psychopath bc I think I need to be put in the incomplete fanfic shame corner or something.

So, here we go….

Boondock Saints/The Walking Dead crossover: I’m not even going to attempt to explain this bullshit. If you’re curious, feel free to head to my AO3 to read it and tell me that I have no life (I will agree 100% bc I almost NEVER go out and socialize). It’s a Darly/Connor/OC/Murphy series that I’ve been writing since the end of 2020. I’m actually really happy how the series has turned out and I still have so much planned that I can hardly wait for you to read. And the fact that all you awesome people have consistently given it such an amazing amount of love for it that I hope that I will always continue to make you all excited everytime I post a new chapter.

Naruto: So, I actually have two fics being written for it. Both I really like and wrote quite a bit for them. Still working on it as I keep bouncing around to different areas of the timeline.

A. I Will Carry This Burden So You Don’t Have To: this is actually the second Naruto fic that I’m writing. It’s an Uchiha OC who’s Sasuke/Itachi’s older cousin and had been the next head of the Uchiha clan. Her father was the head, but died either before or during the Third Ninja War (still trying to figure out timeline stuff for that area) so after her father’s death, Fugaku (her uncle) takes over as temporary head of the clan until OC is ready. She even ends up as the 4th Hokage’s personal assistant for a short time period. Of course we all know how things actually happen. OC ends up adopting Naruto (despite the 3rd’s and Danzo’s attempts to prevent her). She’s close with Itachi and Sasuke and when the Uchiha clan is massacred, she adopts Sasuke as well. It’s lots of angst in this fic specifically at how helpless and furious OC is about what happens during the story. I’m still debating on a ship. I’m stuck between Kakashi/OC, Gai/OC, or Kakashi/OC/Gai.

B. Kitsune Uzumaki: this is the first one and I’ve got lots of fun stuff for this one. OC is the twin sister to Naruto and is a jinchuuriki as well. They both have the nine tails sealed in them. I changed some parts of the timeline here as well, but it’s mostly just lengthening the time between the Chuunin exams and when Sasuke left the village to join Orochimaru. Basically aging all the characters up a little by a couple years before Shippuden. This is an OC/Kakashi/Yamato fic.

3. Supernatural: I’ve got two fics for this one as well.

A. RW: this is a sister!Winchester fic. Got lots of fun stuff going on with this one.

B. Fuck You, Chuck: this one I recently came up with a couple months back. OC is a girl from our world in the year 2023 to SPN in 2005. She knows everything that’s going to happen in the show. At first she plays along, but then she starts trying to figure out ways to change things.

4. Mass Effect: oh, I had so many goddamn ideas popping up into my head every time I pull up the game to play. It’s a fucking menace, but I love this series greatly.

A. The Saviors of The Galaxy Were Raised By A Krogan (Fuck The Council): I got three Shepard OCs (male twins and their adopted younger sister) who are all working together to save this shit galaxy from the Reapers. As the title suggests, they were adopted by a Krogan. Wrex specifically bc he’s the best and deserves all the love. It mostly follows the fem!shep OC of the story, but I do try to give the older brothers plenty of attention in the story.

B. Haley’s Comet: this takes place in Mass Effect: Andromeda. Alec Ryder actually has three kids in this story. First is Sara and Scott Ryder, the original protagonists of the game that the audience usually follows. Then, there’s OC, who’s the younger sister of the twins that I named Haley. She’s 15 when she’s put in cryo to head to Andromeda and is the one who ends up the new Pathfinder. I’m debating on whether to keep Alec dead like he is in the game or maybe change it up and have him survive Habitat 7 and just give him hell since he can’t be Pathfinder anymore due to the injuries he’d received during the mission on Habitat 7. Really heavy on the found family trope and quite a bit of angst as it follows Haley who struggles to be Pathfinder while trying to not have some kind of resentment or anger towards her father and even her older siblings due to how they all ended up in the Andromeda program.

5. DC Universe: I’ve got two fics for this one. Both with the same OC, Amelia Ryder, and ship, OC/John Constantine. This is mostly because I ended up getting really attached to freaking John Constantine. I apparently have a weakness for accents and blue eyes (kill me please). She’s also a badass sorceress (well, she becomes one eventually) and can use magic.

A. Legends of Tomorrow: Amelia becomes a member of the Legends. She’s picked up at the start by Captain Hunter with the rest of the crew in Season 1. There’s mention of her past in season 1, but after the Time Masters are dealt with, her past is left exactly where she wants it: in the past. So, it’s really more of Amelia ending up finding the family that she’s truly yearned for while also getting confidence in herself and her own agency/independence. Of course, lots of drama between her and Constantine when he finally pokes his head up. Lots of fun moments and angst. Smut too.

B. DC Animated Universe: this uses Amelia as well, because I really had a lot of fun coming up with her character background. Except instead of being a time traveling badass, she ends up becoming the Justice League’s secretary. It mostly follows the animated movies, but I’ll follow certain arcs. This actually delves more into Amelia’s history and she does a lot of healing once her past catches up with her.

6. Haikyuu: I’m working on only one for now, but I have a couple that I want to do. Only one is probably going to be a bit on the long side while the others will probably be a bit shorter, but follows the main story quite a bit. The one I’m working on is called “Our Coach is a High School Student”. Lots of fun stuff planned for that one. I had to change my OC’s name bc a Haikyuu fic that I read god knows how long ago had updated and it turns out that that they used the same name as me. So that was fun.

7. My Hero Academia: I got two fics for this one too (geez almost every fandom I’m doing as two fics I think I need help)

A. Sakura Midoriya: sister!Midoriya fic. She’s Deku’s twin sister and quirkless as well. That’s currently what I’m working on bc I recently binged MHA and have been rabid with my writing. I’m stuck between a couple ships to do, but I’m leaning towards OC/Todoroki or maybe OC/Todoroki/Bakugo. Though, I do really like KiriBaku, but I also really like KiriMina.

B. Untitled: I haven’t started actually writing this yet. Mostly bc I haven’t gotten around to it again. It’s another sister!Midoriya fic, but it falls under the Inko Midoriya Adopts Everybody. I even have a general timeline. The biggest thing I’m struggling to figure out is how to continue the OFA/AFO stuff. Who will be AFO’s successor? Do I keep Izuku as the OFA successor? I def have a few things planned, but main storyline from MHA is what I need to figure out.

8. Marvel: I had an idea for a MCU fic. It’s similar to the DCAU where the Avengers get a secretary. Though, I had thought of having them get a therapist, but I don’t know if I can write therapists/therapy sessions very well. So, it might lean towards secretary. Though, this is still benched for now.

Please for the love of god or whatever put me out of my misery lol

[synteis]

Xingdae Fight of 2015

N.B. This is a repost from my old Tellonym.

Jongdae and Yixing both belonged to Exo-M.

They have a one year age gap and Yixing is the elder. Jongdae joined very late and had a very short training period which was especially tough given that he now needed to sing in Mandarin which he didn't know before his audition. Although he had tutors and lessons and such, Yixing, who is a native Chinese speaker, took him under his wing and did a lot of coaching and teaching, both of phrases for interviews but also pronunciation for songs. My understanding is that Yixing also tutored Jongdae in dance, another area of initial weakness. Jongdae was an eager pupil who always credited his teacher and as they got older, started looking after Yixing in small and large ways, the most prominent example is attending Yixing's solo Pathcode shoot and worrying about him staying warm (27:33 https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3rmasa).

Yixing had been making his own music since his trainee days and had the goal of releasing an album and/or contributing music to an Exo album. However, SM is very strict about how tracks and lyrics are accepted so artists typically have to compete with other tracks and win. Nevertheless, you can hear some of Yixing's early work in his Lost Planet solo 'I'm Lay' as well as in this SM Rookies practice clip of Seulgi and Irene (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuxQa9_eSLQ).

After the first two Chinese members left Exo, Yixing wrote the music and Chinese lyrics+rap to Promise in reaction and this was his first song to be properly featured on an Exo album. However, because Korean is not his first language, he asked the Exo group chat for help and Jongdae was the only member to come down. Jongdae would adapt/write the Korean lyrics to Promise with Chanyeol ultimately writing the rap. This initial collaboration would spark a whole series of demos that they made together with Yixing generally contributing the music and Jongdae generally the lyrics. Jongdae would normally perform the majority of the vocals on the demos. The goal for Yixing was to prepare 100 demos to present to SM to show that he/they were ready for their own album for more of their music to be featured on Exo albums. This collaboration brought them even closer together and they were very affectionate with each other during this period. Ultimately though in late 2014 the USB with the masters of the demos was lost and never recovered. They were able to reconstruct Promise and there were a few non-master files of some of the songs but they had lost a huge amount of work.

Shortly thereafter, the remaining Chinese member outside of Yixing, Huang Zitao, who had had many injuries during his time with Exo and at the time had one severe enough he couldn't perform, started to make moves that suggested he too might leave. This period is very complicated and was very uncertain for fans and for the band because Tao's father got publicly involved in his quest to have Tao sue SM for mistreatment (largely bc of the injuries and how they'd handled them) while Tao had previously maintained he had no plans to leave ever. It's also clear that with the departure of the first two members, SM had been scrambling to sort out how promotions in China and Exo-M would work regarding both the two Chinese members as well as the two Korean members but Tao, as a Chinese member was clearly a key part of whatever plans they had.

At the same time, Yixing was in negotiations with SM that ultimately led to him opening his own Chinese studio which initially was supposed to be focused on managing his Chinese acting. His bargaining power was presumably strengthened by the loss of two going on three of the four original Chinese members given that Exo's original vision was fundamentally based in part on serving the Chinese market and expanding SM's reach in it.

Ultimately, Yixing opened his studio at the beginning of April while Tao's father's letter was published at the end of April.

In the middle of these two events is the Japanese fan meeting (https://youtu.be/lOHEypLdako?t=390) which contains one of the most iconic Xingdae moments: Jongdae picking Yixing as who he would be a fan of if he was an Exo-L and indicating it by backlogging Yixing whose face is hidden. The grin that spreads across Yixing's face as he gets picked is everything and Yixing ultimately breaks the chain they'd had going to pick Jongdae back.

The next time we see them together is for the May 30/31 concerts of Exo'luxion. In between the fan meeting and those concerts, Yixing begins filming for Go Fighting! (where he gets very close to the other Chinese celebrities on the show, all older than him), Tao's father's letter is published, Yixing has an injury on the set of GF and SM officially announces that they are in negotiations with Tao in the hopes of convincing him to stay.

NOW my personal read of the May 30th and May 31st concerts, both of which were performed in Shanghai, is that I think the May 30th concert is more or less normal between them. In the Chinese versions of the concert, Yixing performs 'My Answer' with Jongdae and Kyungsoo with Yixing largely providing piano accompaniment as well as some vocals. The vast majority of these performances are very tense and weird because Jongdae completely refuses to make eye contact with Yixing, even when he's initiating it or when neither of them is singing and Jongdae is also seemingly very adverse to being close to Yixing. For example, watch the May 31st performance and this one from August. l tend to use the My Answer performances as a marker for their relationship since it was clearly designed to take advantage of their chemistry and instead showed the breakup. HOWEVER I personally think that the May 30th performance, has basically normal interactions between the two of them.

I'll also note that unlike other fights in the band like Chanyeol and Baekhyun's Obsession era fight, I don't really think the other members took sides.

Take for instance, the two members outside of Jongdae who were closest to Yixing: Minseok and Baekhyun. On stage throughout the tour, they have fun together and in the Second Box we get the three of them at ease in their couple talks and roller coaster adventure. But we also don't see a rift between either of these two and Jongdae. This tells me that neither of them did anything either in terms of what sparked the fight or during the fight that the other members had a serious problem with.

Another factor is how long this fight last, it took until Jongdae's birthday in September for Yixing to publicly apologize and from October to March, we start seeing some signs of the rift healing though this is only fully confirmed by the November 2016 (a little under two years after the fight) when they do their double Lose Control/Hey Mama! promotions that it's clear that everything is forgiven between the two of them. So it was a serious fight between two people who are not prone to fights and which lasted a long time, which is less surprising given that they are both stubborn people.

SO this is what informs my XingDae breakup take.

[nvvacanesworld]

hiii nova. 🍣 anon here! hope you’ve been having a good day/night so far.

ahhh i js wanted to say that i was binging your tumblr during my after uni yesterday and i have sm i wanna say!! sorry for not sending this ask earlier, uni gets so hectic 😥

ahhh first and foremost — your gojo fic 😍😍 i loved part 2 smm, trust me you did such a good job! hsjsjss toji had me blushing and giggling like crazy. so so happy that mc and toji got to interact a bit more hehe. but omfg gojo 😭 i’m a gojo girl thru and thru but i was praying on gojo’s downfall loll

i also read ur fic ‘last spring’ and it was sooo good. i don’t really read much aot but that was just so hajsjsjsj i cant describe it with my mere words but it just hit right yk. i loved the angst so so much :D

OK BUT LETS TALK ABOUT UR OLDER BF SERIES. BYE IM FERAL. older bf nanami was so sweet ahh it was written so well too omg omg omg. i haven’t read older bf! toji yet but im sure it’ll be just as great!

once again tysm for taking the time to write for us here on tumblr :)) ur so talented haksjsj 💗 i can’t wait to read more of your works!!

heyyyyy omg i’m so happy you sent this ask and i hope everything is well(◡‿◡✿)

and i understand uni being hectic so don’t worry about it seriously

im happy you enjoyed the gojo fic i well like the second part of it was lacking so much so much to the point i feel like i may go rewrite it. I’m actually planning another gojo fic this time a series.

THIS IS WHAT ITS GONNA BE ABOUT

don’t judge my shitty layout skills

and i’m glad someone liked last spring lmao it flipped but i feel like that’s because the aot fandom is dead kinda and everyone moved to jjk. Like my jjk fics get so many notes in like mere minutes but last spring was so dead so like days (ㄒoㄒ)

YES LETS TALK ABOUT MY OLDER BF SERIES PLEASE!!!!!

with older bf nanami i tried to plan it out as them like meeting and then developing a relationship and then dating because it felt so weird to just dumb into them dating ahhhhh idk i’m glad you liked that tho even tho the layout was not your traditional layout for those type of head canons

with older bf toji i literally had to rewrite it so many times and was almost crying in the hall because it kept deleting. But i powered through so it’s okay even tho i feel like my first rendition was so much better than what i put out. The first time it deleted was bc my phone died. I’m gonna start writing on my computer bc it auto saves that way. I hope you like it though come back and tell me about it PLEASEEEE i want your opinion. I’m pretty sure it’s longer than nanami’s and with the way i am they are just gonna keep getting longer (￣▽￣)

I’m so happy i took that jump to just start writing the amount of support i’m getting from you and people like you makes my heart jump

until next time 🍣